# Vampires Suck



## Spica (Jul 10, 2010)

*Vampires Suck *- scheduled for August 18th 2010

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHkPJ1ACLrg[/YOUTUBE]



			
				Wikipedia said:
			
		

> Vampires Suck is an upcoming 2010 vampire spoof film, where a teenage girl, Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom. Confirmed parodies include: Avatar, Twilight, The Vampire Diaries and Alice in Wonderland.



I feel like the greatest story in our generation is about to be told.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2010)

looks funny, but remember that it is from the guys who did all those other spoof movies. As much as I love me some Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie action, they also did "Disaster Movie".........

Anyway, this one does have some genuinely funny moments, like the Jacob fangirl Vs Edward fangirl, the Black Eyed Peas joke, the Chinese food joke, the Jacob being shirtless joke and especially the makeups jokes.

But damn, cant they keep focused? Why the fuck does Alice in Wonderland have to be there? NOT A VAMPIRE! I mean, isnt there Cirque du Freak and Daybreakers to also spoof? Sure, no one saw them, but they exist!


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## Banhammer (Jul 10, 2010)

It had genuinely hilarious jokes, but sometimes, they were too good at making fun of the bad acting if you know what I mean, and while individually the clips are ROFLMAO, you still will have to sit up through the plot of the first two fucking movies of twilight, which granted, was never alot, but it's still fucking boring.


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## Bender (Jul 10, 2010)

> As much as I love me some Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie action, they also did "Disaster Movie".........



All of those parody flicks sucked 

And I can't believe you listed MEET THE SPARTANS AND "DISASTER MOVIE". 

That's begging for a negging


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## Tsukiyo (Jul 10, 2010)

thought that was gonna be song spin off TV show of twilight 

actually i might wanna go see that movie


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## Chee (Jul 10, 2010)

Not seeing it.


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## crazymtf (Jul 10, 2010)

Looks like shit.


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## Spanish Hoffkage (Jul 10, 2010)

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffffff


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## Bluebeard (Jul 10, 2010)

Okay, seriously... Avatar, Wonderland... Those aren't even about vampires!

Daybreakers, Cirque Du Freak, and maybeee Wolfman would all be perfect for a spoof.


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## Noda. B (Jul 10, 2010)

Not sure if I want to see it. Some jokes like Team Edward vs. Team Jacob seems funny but if it's gonna be the same as all the other parody movies where they don't even parody, just reference the source material and try to pass it off as a joke, I'd rather not waste my money.


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## Gabe (Jul 10, 2010)

it was only a matter of time when this would happen. looks fuuny


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## MF NaruSimpson (Jul 10, 2010)

i'm with bender, all those parody movies are pure trash, killing american brain cells.  I almost think it's a conspiracy.


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## Avix (Jul 10, 2010)

LMFAO, My pal showed me this trailer last night. True Blood is the only one that does Vampires properly imho.


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## Ennoea (Jul 10, 2010)

The Black eyed peas joke was amusing but not much other than that. Any spoof without Leslie Nielsen isn't worth much.


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## mystictrunks (Jul 10, 2010)

Just saw the best jokes in that trailer. The other 78 minutes will be [charles]terrible.[/barkley]


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## Adonis (Jul 10, 2010)

This is just painful.

I'll admit: "You're...The Black-Eyed Peas?" made me laugh.


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## Magnum Miracles (Jul 10, 2010)

It's gonna suck.


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## The Duchess (Jul 10, 2010)

Looks funny, but so did the trailers of several other spoof movies that I won't mention. And we all know how those turned out. 

I'll wait to see what the critics say.


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## RAGING BONER (Jul 10, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> As much as I love me some *Meet the Spartans* and *Epic Movie*


From this day forward i will read your reviews and assume i'm reading an article from bizarro world.


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## Banhammer (Jul 10, 2010)

It had some awesome jokes really.


"And bella, what do vampires like to eat



...



Bella: Vampire Cereal? *raises a box of Count Chocula*"


Vampires start attcking Bella


Bella uses mace. One dodges and hits a blonde girl with a T-shirt saying "Buffy"

Buffy: OOOOOH SHIT, OH MY GOD, I WAS GONNA HELP YOU, BITCH!

Bella: Sorry

Buffy:NO, FUCK YOU, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN"


And my favorite:
Jock comes up to bella and says "Damn girl, you're so boring, can I get your phone number?"


No wait, my favorite was:

You know what this means right?


Charlie: Yes, the Kardashians are back in town.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2010)

RAGING BONER said:


> From this day forward i will read your reviews and assume i'm reading an article from bizarro world.



lol, this is why I dont review comedies. I even tend to keep away from horror-comedy hybrids. I have a very poor taste in comedy.

Dont get me wrong, Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie suck. They're just guilty pleasures for me. Hell, last time I watched either of them, I fast fowarded through the annoying/boring parts(which to me, are whenever they go into MTV music video territory). 

Wait.....Why are they making this movie? Didnt Transylmania bomb like mad crazy? That also spoofed vampires. Although it didnt spoof Twilight so it will come down to how well the marketing is handled.


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## FakePeace (Jul 10, 2010)

I kinda have the feeling these scenes in the trailer will be the only good ones.


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## Linkdarkside (Jul 10, 2010)

well ,i like spoof movies but ,i wait for the DVD.


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## Vonocourt (Jul 10, 2010)

mystictrunks said:


> Just saw the best jokes in that trailer. The other 78 minutes will be [charles]terrible.[/barkley]



_"That's a turrible idea."_

Film looks shit. Isn't the whole "Vampire views Bella as a burger" joke years old? The humor in it looks lazy, like the Jacob's contract. That maybe would've flied if it was just me and my friends riffing the movie, but as a joke that someone was payed to write...bullshit.


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## Bender (Jul 11, 2010)

MH if you hate Disaster movie why do you have it listed in I "I love me some" category?


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## Blitzomaru (Jul 11, 2010)

FakePeace said:


> I kinda have the feeling these scenes in the trailer will be the only good ones.



Those are the good scenes?!?!?!

Fuck that


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## Narcissus (Jul 12, 2010)

I laughed at the BEP scene and cracked a smile when the TE and TJ girls started fighting. Otherwise, terrible. These parody movies really need to stop. I'll be skipping this one.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2010)

Bender said:


> MH if you hate Disaster movie why do you have it listed in I "I love me some" category?



Reread my comment



> but remember that it is from the guys who did all those other spoof movies. As much as I love me some Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie action, they also did "Disaster Movie".........



The first sentence is a reminder/warning. Now reread the 2nd sentence especially.

As much as I love MTS and EP, they also did Disaster Movie. Hence, I'm stating, even though I liked their earlier stuff, they also did Disaster Movie.....which is the first spoof movie I've seen that I've flat out hated.

I guess I could've made that more clear, but that was pretty much what I meant.

If anything, that makes a point of how much DM sucked. I liked their other movies, as bad as they were, but DM even pissed me off.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2010)

Uh oh guys, this comes out the same day as Piranha 3D........Hmmm, a spoof that will most likely suck, or a campy horror film with a good cast that is directed by Alexandre Aja(one of the pioneers of horror films)........No competition for me.


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## Roy (Jul 13, 2010)

> Vampires Sucks



So does this movie.


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## Bilaal (Jul 13, 2010)

> Vampires Sucks



my what a clever pun


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## Sorairo Warai (Jul 13, 2010)

I think I'll go see that. ^-^


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## Chee (Jul 13, 2010)

Roy said:


> So does this movie.



It's just like Disaster Movie, with its ironic title.


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## Tomasu H. (Jul 13, 2010)

The trailer made the Twilight movies look oscar worthy.  How are they allowed to keep movies?  And who sees them and likes them?!


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## C_Akutabi (Jul 13, 2010)

I hate Twilight like most here but my hatred for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer surpasses it.



Bluebeard said:


> Okay, seriously... Avatar, Wonderland... Those aren't even about vampires!



The title is "often" the thing they'll reference the most but they reference anything half-popular. Hell Disaster Movie was referencing the freaking trailers of various movies.


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## Vanthebaron (Jul 14, 2010)

Looks mind numbingly retarded


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## Shoddragon (Jul 14, 2010)

I'll probably like it the same way I liked movies such as meet the spartans:  I will actually laugh at how horrible the movie is.


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## Divi (Jul 14, 2010)

Actually, I found the parody of Twilight to be spot on. Even Kristen Stewart's mediocre acting ability was mastered by Becca. 

I actually laughed at this movie, which is saying a lot. It has some really great parts, and it's definitely not just the trailer.

But ya know, to each their own.


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## Narcissus (Jul 15, 2010)

Even the Scary Movie spoofs made fun of other movies than just their center ones (the first one's main parody was scream, but they made fun of The Matrix, for example).



MartialHorror said:


> Piranha 3D........



Wait... please don't tell me this is a remake of the original Piranha...


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2010)

Just rewatched the title and when the bad vampire attacks Edward, Edward calmly raises a bat as the bad vampire runs right into his swing.

Didnt they do that EXACT same joke in "Scary Movie 2"? Arent these guys some of the writers from SM2? Are they literally reusing their jokes.


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## Mara (Jul 22, 2010)

They could have done a better job at making fun of Twatlight. I mean, it's kind of the first Twilight parody that's actually been made into a movie, and they failed at it. They should have just made that trailer into another random YouTube video and called it quits there. Would have liked it so much better.


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## Odoriko (Aug 10, 2010)

​


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## MindlessSelfIndulgence (Aug 13, 2010)

I'm going to see it, but it's a spoof movie so it'll probably be a piece of shit.


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## Madai (Aug 13, 2010)

> it'll probably be a piece of shit



In this case, it's a certainty.  The "directors" are Friedberg & Seltzer, and they are a scourge upon the land!  Everything they direct is shit.  

In fact I daresay they are the only thing worse than Shyamalan.


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## SurgeV1? (Aug 14, 2010)

I watched it already. It's actually not TOO bad. Really holds up compared to the other shitty recent spoof movies.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, that's Mike, Ronnie, DJ Pauly D.."

"No, not the douchebags from Jersey Shore..HIM!"

"Oh..that's Edward Sullen..who's APPARENTLY TOO GOOD FOR ANY GIRL HERE! He won't even accept my facebook request"


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## Sassy (Aug 14, 2010)

Looks funnny (hopefully won't be that big of a piece of shit movie)


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## Sasuke_Bateman (Aug 14, 2010)




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## SasuOna (Aug 14, 2010)

what a funny movie...........no I really mean it.
meet the spartans 2 please


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## Vonocourt (Aug 14, 2010)

> In june of 2010, a woman that was in attendance at an early screening began to throw up and violently shake, apparently suffering from a stroke. At the hospital the staff discovered her body was rejecting the movie and she couldnt handle the level of stupitidy. she exclaimed "Ill never laugh again!" and she is currently undergoing extensive therapy, which doctors fear will not be able to cure her. Freidberg and Seltzer are being sued for "Extensive emotional damage". Others are sueing friedberg & seltzer because after they watched the movie they had to go back to the 4th grade.


That's just poor taste.


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## Synn (Aug 14, 2010)

OMG, hilarious! I have to watch this!!


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## Vanthebaron (Aug 15, 2010)

The stupidity makes my head hurt


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## ღMomoღ (Aug 15, 2010)

hahahaha,ı will see this one for sure*excited*


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## Lord Yu (Aug 15, 2010)

SasuOna said:


> what a funny movie...........no I really mean it.
> meet the spartans 2 please



I want to murder you. I want to chop your body into a dozen pieces and scatter them to the four winds. I want you dead.


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## Bender (Aug 15, 2010)

SasuOna said:


> what a funny movie...........no I really mean it.
> meet the spartans 2 please







			
				Lord Yu said:
			
		

> I want to murder you. I want to chop your body into a dozen pieces and scatter them to the four winds. I want you dead.



I want chop off every piece of his arms legs and feed them to the dogs then tie his torso to a tree.


That is some stupid 

probably stupidest I've heard. 

SO you sicken me.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 15, 2010)

lol, I want to know how well this will do. On one hand, despite being panned, most of these guys movies do well. On the other, not only did "Disaster Movie" underperform, it was the worst of them and imo, is one of the worst movies ever. It's not even a movie as much as it is a series of random, unfunny gags.

"Vampire's Suck" seems to have taken some time to make, so maybe it will be more focused. But hell, Im not expecting much. I have low standards in terms of comedy and confess that I do enjoy "Meet the Spartans" and its ilk to an extent. But it's only funny when it's being relevant(like spoofing "300"). Most of the time, it's just referencing pop culture, which has gotten annoying. 

All of them are crappy movies. It's just a question as to how it will fair compared to the others. I'd rank their movies like this

1) Date Movie
2) Meet the Spartans
3) Spy Hard
4) Epic Movie
5) Disaster Movie.

I always forget that they didnt do Superhero Movie or The Comebacks. With those, I'd rank them.

1-4) Same
5) The Comebacks
6) Superhero Movie
7) Disaster Movie.


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## Johnny Rotten (Aug 16, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, I want to know how well this will do. On one hand, despite being panned, most of these guys movies do well. On the other, not only did "Disaster Movie" underperform, it was the worst of them and imo, is one of the worst movies ever. It's not even a movie as much as it is a series of random, unfunny gags.
> 
> "Vampire's Suck" seems to have taken some time to make, so maybe it will be more focused. But hell, Im not expecting much. I have low standards in terms of comedy and confess that I do enjoy "Meet the Spartans" and its ilk to an extent. But it's only funny when it's being relevant(like spoofing "300"). Most of the time, it's just referencing pop culture, which has gotten annoying.
> 
> ...



Nope nope nope. Superhero movie I actually laughed once. It's at least a 3. 

And when it comes to spoofing movies what could be better than Mel Brooks or Airplane? Surely you can't believe any "___ Movie" can surpass these classics. They actually make fun of their genre. 

...and don't call me Shirley... 



Lord Yu said:


> I want to murder you. I want to chop your body into a dozen pieces and scatter them to the four winds. I want you dead.



Chances are the poster is brain dead already. It's a miracle he could type even that small sentence. Whatever you do would have no effect at this point.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 16, 2010)

Johnny Rotten said:


> Nope nope nope. Superhero movie I actually laughed once. It's at least a 3.
> 
> And when it comes to spoofing movies what could be better than Mel Brooks or Airplane? Surely you can't believe any "___ Movie" can surpass these classics. They actually make fun of their genre.
> 
> ...and don't call me Shirley...



Give Martial the benefit of the doubt, all of Mel Brooks spoofs are leagues above those movies to the point where saying they're better than these recent "spoof" movies is redundant and unnecessary.

Okay, may be Dracula: Dead and Loving isn't that much better.


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## Kαrin (Aug 16, 2010)

Finally a Twilight movie I actually wanna see


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## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2010)

While Brooks and the guy who did Airplane are usually better, Superhero Movie feels VERY much like the 2 spoofing guys film. 

Brooks is obviously superior, even though he has many unfunny gags as well, mainly due to the fact he's focused. He doesnt resort to dance sequences or pop culture references. Even his worst movies at least focus entirely on the genre he's spoofing. Even better, his movies often manage to be what they're spoofing. "Blazing Saddles" feels like a true western, "Young Frankenstein" feels like a true 30's Universal horror film, "High Anxiety" feels like a Hitchcock film and even "Dracula, Dead and Loving it" feels like a Hammer Dracula film.

So at his worst, even though I might give a Brooks film(like Spaceballs) a D+, which I also gave "Meet the Spartans"(I think), both are on two different levels. "Spaceballs" is rated as a genuine comedy, albeit not a good one(to me). "Meet the Spartans" is just rated as a guilty pleasure.


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## Crowned Clown (Aug 16, 2010)

I think I will be going with my little sis who likes the Twilight novels/movies. It looks fun and it allows us to hang out a little before I head back to school soon.

Will it probably be shit, yeah. Will I get some laughs with my sis, sure. I enjoy both the genius and the shit comedies.


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## Crowned Clown (Aug 16, 2010)

Does it bother you so much if people enjoy some mindless entertainment from it? As long as they aren't getting your money, isn't that all that should count?

I am not trying to be rude or anything, I am just curious. Its not like I am being duped into thinking it will be a great movie, I know exactly what I am getting myself into.


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## Bender (Aug 16, 2010)

I'll watch the movie however, I'm not going to pay shit at the theater.


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## ViolentlyHappy (Aug 16, 2010)

Ukechu said:


> Finally a Twilight movie I actually wanna see



I second that.


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## Xion (Aug 16, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> looks funny, but remember that it is from the guys who did all those other spoof movies. *As much as I love me some Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie *action, they also did "Disaster Movie".........





No. Just no.


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## Vanity (Sep 20, 2010)

lol...oh wow. I hadn't even heard of this until I saw this thread. I'm not surprised that there would be a Twilight spoof movie making fun of Twilight because there certainly is the market for it. XD


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## 【Temari】 (Sep 21, 2010)

seriously, I watch the movie and it's corny as hell,   

no one can beats _*Scary Movie 3*_... how they parodise the war of the world, grudge, saw.


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## Blitzomaru (Sep 21, 2010)

This movie made 30 mil. that's 15 mil more than Scott Pilgrim. That's it. I'm moving to Antarctica....


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## Johnny Rotten (Sep 21, 2010)

Vanity said:


> lol...oh wow. I hadn't even heard of this until I saw this thread. I'm not surprised that there would be a Twilight spoof movie making fun of Twilight because there certainly is the market for it. XD



Yep, immature teenagers who hate Twilight simply "because it's for pussies" is sadly a high majority of the population...



irameT said:


> seriously, I watch the movie and it's corny as hell,
> 
> no one can beats _*Scary Movie 3*_... how they parodise the war of the world, grudge, saw.



That's actually Scary Movie 4. 

So sad I know that....


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## blue berry (Sep 22, 2010)

Oh come on. 

I could of done something better than this if I directed Vampires Suck. 

/review

I must admit the bit where Edward is on that scooter had me lol'ing


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## Desert Butterfly (Sep 22, 2010)

Should be in theatres soon, here. I'm surely going to watch it


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## BrightlyGoob (Sep 22, 2010)

Yah I wanna see it .
I hate how people who are just annoyed with vampires try to brag about seeing this movie as if trying to radiate their hate . >.< 

I have nothing with/against vampires , but it annoys me how people wanna show their "teams" to certain subjects like Justin Bieber & shiz . 

But that's my opinion . :ho


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## The Red Skull (Sep 30, 2010)

*Vampires Suck!*

Is the worlds funniest movie in my humble opinion.  They completely gave Twilight what it deserved the hangmans noose!


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## Zhariel (Sep 30, 2010)

The Spill did a review on it, as they do for all the known movies that come out. It was a 5 second clip, and the guy just said "Fuck you."


Says it all, retard humor movie.


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## Krory (Sep 30, 2010)

But considering it was parodying Twilight, it worked out pretty well.


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## scerpers (Sep 30, 2010)

Apparently the guys who were sick of another vampire movie, made another vampire movie.

the only funny part I saw in the trailer was the Black Eyed Peas skit.


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## Becko (Sep 30, 2010)

Shitty parody made of a more-shitty movie.


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## Uchiha Asura (Sep 30, 2010)

Damn, that movie sucked ass! It was even worse than the real twilight.
No funny shit at all!


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## SweetMura (Sep 30, 2010)

I fell for the same trick when I first read Twilight . Came to the second book, I was hell cursing myself that "How could I even like that lame Edward?" .


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## Toshio Ozaki (Sep 30, 2010)

I think people forget that Twilight is aimed at 13 year old girls. It's safe to make fun of, Vampires Suck is just cashing in on that.
I can't even stand to watch the commercial. Talk about trying too hard to be funny.


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## Disquiet (Sep 30, 2010)

Making fun of Twilight?  Man, I'm glad that hasn't been done to death already.

I'd actually never heard of "Vampires Suck" before this thread, but having looked it up it seems to have been made by the Meet the Spartans/Date Movie/Epic Movie/etc. guys and that shows from the trailer.  They try too hard and they tend to fail spectacularly, with perhaps one or two good jokes; the bulk is generally crass, disjointed and unsubtle humour and that's not really my thing unless it's handled really well.  It never is with these guys.

I'll probably stick it on my Lovefilm queue once it's released on DVD, though.  Out of sheer curiosity.


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## Johnny Rotten (Sep 30, 2010)

I'll admit I was actually thinking about watching it. But then, realizing my idiocy, I gouged out my eyes. It's a miracle I'm typing this but it's like what Jesus said about it's better to take out your eyes than have your whole body on fire for watching such shitty films.


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## Le Pirate (Sep 30, 2010)

I friggin hated that movie. You couldn't pay me to see it again.Well, unless you were paying me more than 30$.

Worst thing is, I hate Twilight too.


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## Blitzomaru (Sep 30, 2010)

Garrus said:


> But considering it was parodying Twilight, it worked out pretty well.



A retarded movie making fun of a retarded movie? That's like the title character from Forrest Gump making fun of the title Character from Rain Man.

Still retarded...


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## Johnny Rotten (Oct 1, 2010)

Blitzomaru said:


> A retarded movie making fun of a retarded movie? That's like the title character from Forrest Gump making fun of the title Character from Rain Man.
> 
> Still retarded...



Well the point of effective satire is to be as smart or smarter than what you parody...


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## Blitzomaru (Oct 1, 2010)

As long as we don't put the words effective, satire smart in the same sentence as vampires Suck....


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## Johnny Rotten (Oct 1, 2010)

Blitzomaru said:


> As long as we don't put the words effective, satire smart in the same sentence as vampires Suck....



Unless there was an "is in no way shape or form an example of" between it.


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