# A very disturbing fanfic. If you read this, you will never be the same.



## Vance (Jan 6, 2007)

(I felt like making one, so, here you go, perverts, pedophiles, and degenerates! )



     Chapter 1 Naruto Hinata


*Spoiler*: __ 




      Naruto Uzumaki sat on the chair that was in front of Ichiraku's main table. He sighed, not only was he lonely because Sakura hated him and Sasuke thought he was retarded, he was also at the peak of his sexual age. 

    He felt his body heat up, why was it so hot today? He could barely breathe, he squirmed at the thought of Sakura, naked, in honey...

   "Na... Naruto?" an innocent voice squeaked close by. Naruto's wet fantasy was blanked out. "Naruto?" the voice asked. Naruto turned his head, hotter than ever.

     There was Hinata Hyuga, damn, she looked good. Was it his tension, or was it that she was really good looking? Either way, it made Naruto's heart beat faster.

    "Uh, yeah Hinata?" asked a horny Naruto. Hinata blushed. "Well, I... I was wondering... If you might have wanted to... maybe see a movie?" the innocent girl asked her face redder than the deepest wine.

    Naruto's head clicked. Movie=home=bed=love... Hmmmm. Naruto could NOT pass up an offer like this, especially in his state.

   "That sounds great Hinata! Lets go!" the eager boy exclaimed. Hinata gasped. "Bu... But I am not changed-" Hinata was caught off by Naruto grabbing her arm. 

   "Your fine! Come on!" Hinata was uneasy, but followed her one true love. The couple walked all the way, the entire 5 miles, to the movie theater. It was funny, they have no shoes, or sneakers, but Konoha anages to place a movie in their Village? Damn Masashi Kishimoto...

     Hinata walked with Naruto, trembling and shaking, hot and nervous. Naruto, on the other hand, was anxious and frisky, waiting for the movie to end and for them to go to her house.

   They chose an action movie, and took their seats. Hinata could barely concentrate on the movie, she was too worried about not trying to turn Naruto off, but was she wrong. Naruto, who was more lustful than an elephant, would not be turned on even if Hinata took a shit on him. In fact, Naruto was so horny, shitting on him might make him _more_ turned on.

     The movie progressed on, and Naruto grew more sweaty and sweaty after every gunshot. Hinata felt his grip tighten, and after an hour into the movie, he was nearly crushing her delicate bones.

    Finally, the movie ended. It was as if something exploded in Naruto, he actaully carried Hinata, to her house, running, not even bothering to watch the credits.

   "Naruto! This is very... awkward!" Hinata exclaimed as she bobbed to Naruto's constant running. What took thrity minutes to walk took ten minutes to run to Hinta's house. 

    Naruto realized he was in front of Hinata's house, and set her down. Hinata was trembling. "Ughhh, goodnight Hinata." he said, hoping she would ask him to stay for the night.

    Hinata returned the goodnight, and began to walk in. _Shit!_ Naruto muttered in his head, he was getting no piece tonight. He sadly began to walk home. Maybe he could just jerk off, but then Hinata asked nervously. "Do.. Do you want to stay the night?"


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## Vance (Jan 6, 2007)

*More...*

The end of chapter 1 is here.




*Spoiler*: __ 



 Naruto felt his tension return. His blood rushing, his manhood stretching. He gulped. "Rea... Really?" he asked, trying to not sound to anxious.

   Hinata nodded, slowly trying to persuade him to move closer. He did, and she blushed harder than before.

    Naruto walked in, smelling the aroma of cooking. Hinata gasped. "I left the roast in the oven!" She ran over to take it out.

   Naruto felt a little taken back, but followed her, good things came with being close to your lover.

    Hinata opened the oven, quickly taking it out. "Oww!" she howled in pain. She had forgotten to put on her mits. 

   "Hinata! Are you okay Hinata?" he asked worried. Hinata had tears streaming down her face. They wet her face, and glistened.

   Hinata looked up. "Ye... Yes Naruto, I am... okay. But the roa-" Hinata was cut short again by Naruto putting his finger to her mouth.

  "Ssshhhhh." he said seductively. She looked up at him, her eyes trembling. "It's fine..." he whispered.

     Hinata gasped, she was about to say something, but Naruto shushed her again. "Don't worry, Hinata." he said, and he leaned in to kiss her.

     Hinata felt his face boil up, was this really happening? He was trying to kiss her, actually kiss her! She could not help it, all of the caged up thoughts, the animal thoughts, the sexual thoughts she desired.

     She grabbed his neck, and landed the first kiss. Now it was Naruto's turn to blush, but he took advantage of the moment. Now he would fufill his sexual fantasys.

   He grappled her, touching her skin, stroking it. Hinata moaned as he nibbled on her ear. it tickled, it felt good. Really good.

      Naruto grabbed her jacket, and slid it off, she giggled, as he licked her chin. Hinata paced, she removed his jacket as well.

    Naruto smiled, and unbuttoned her shirt. She was in her bra now only. It pressed against her chest, white and purple.

    A breeze passed by Hinata's breast. It tickled her again, stroking her. Hinata slipped his shirt off, thier tongues going to work.

    Naruto kicked his shoes off, taking his socks off as well. "Naruto..." she moaned. Heat in their blood, must in their heads, they removed their pants.

   They were clasped tightly together, and they bobbed to the bedroom. Naruto laid Hinata onto the couch, her bare bra and panties eagerly wishing to be ripped off.

   Naruto felt his manhood harden, he took his underwear right off. Hinata gazed at the long, rod that Naruto wielded, she licked her lips. "Naruto... I love you..." she said silently, but loud enough for Naruto to hear.

   Hinata used her Hyuga powers and ripped her bra off, her perky breast curved and tight. Naruto kissed her breasts.

     He pulled her panties downward, off her smooth, bare leg. He sat on her, not into her just yet. "Hinata. The last thing I want to do is hurt you." he said seriously.

    Hinata felt nervous. The last thing she wanted to do was be hurt! But she loved Naruto, how could she let this opprotunity pass up?

   "Naruto. By doing this, you will make my life meaningful. I am weak, a weak Hyuga. I have no use, no purpose. But by doing this Naruto, you will make my life meaningful. Please proceed." she said softly.

   Naruto felt himself melt, he could not wait any longer. He laid on top of her, pushing himself into her.

   "Ahhh!" she yelped as she felt her womanhood fill with electical currents. Naruto moved on, up and down, pacing a little faster after every breath.

  Hinata was feeling good now, very good. Her body was hot, ripe, and about to be filled with Naruto's love. She had a purpose, a purpose to live...

   Naruto sped up, her body pressed closer. "Harder." she muttered as she felt her mouth fill with saliva.

    "Naruto!" Hinata screamed as she felt an orgasm bigger than ever fill her up. "Hinata!!!" Naruto shouted. He felt himself come.  Lose his fluids into the vessel called Hinata. "Hinata... I love you." he mumbled, as he fell into her chests, breathing and licking drowsily.

   Hinata sighed, and put her arm around Naruto. "Thank you, Naruto-Kun...."




  END. I hope you like this part, I will add more couples next chapter.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 6, 2007)

Not bad, i like it! Keep them coming.


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

>_< *must think post time skip Hinata* Great fic. I hope when my fic reaches its lemon part it will be great and not come out like a b movie pr0n flick


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

*Chapter 1 Recap*

*Here is what happens after the couple have done it*



*Spoiler*: __ 



Brisk sunshine fills the room as Naruto and Hinata slowly open their eyes to a brand new day. It is a day of rejoce, a day of new beginnings and to destroy the old.

   They were in love, made love, and were proceeding into a relationship that others could never copy.

   "Hinata..." Naruto said as he looked at her face. "Ye... Yes Naruto?" she asked. Naruto gave a kind smile. "I love you." Hinata's eyes were soaked with tears, he really does mean it!

    Hinata Hyuga burried herself into her lover's arms, and stayed there, crying in happiness. This was her purpose. Her meaning of life...

   Naruto slowly rose up, and scratched his balls. Last night really did do good for him. He walked to the sink, and cleaned himself. Hinata followed, taking a shower.

    In a matter of seconds, Naruto sneaked into the shower. Hinata gasped, seeing him naked again made her... made her... blush..

   "Naruto! Naruto!" she gasped louder, but Naruto silenced her, he kissed her neck, and she melted into his warm, strong arms.

   Naruto kissed her again, and wrapped his legs around hers, they were rejocing.

   "Oh Naruto. Do it right." Hinata mumbled in ecstacy as he filled her up with love.

    Naruto maoned in pleasure. Hinata paced up. "Don't stop... Naruto, don't ever stop..."





     That is the true end of the Naru Hina section. Hope you like it, next one is Sasuke and Sakura.


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

thats pretty good, kinda makes me wanna right one! thanx for the inspiration (not like yours but a story, wouldnt want to steal your idea)


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Thanks. SakuSasu will be up and running tomorrow.


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

Story was good on its own no need for a morning after, but it was a nice touch.


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Just to give it a little zest. You can end a night with sex, but the next morning is always fun to watch. Are they scared, hurt, nervous, horny. The next morning decides everything.


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

Santa Claus said:


> Just to give it a little zest. You can end a night with sex, but the next morning is always fun to watch. Are they scared, hurt, nervous, horny. The next morning decides everything.


 So true. I would have been hilarious if she fainted when she saw Naruto.


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

He was very commanding, plus after the first time it's nothing. It's like riding a bike


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## DeathRose (Jan 7, 2007)

nicccce. now do one about Tsunade and Jiraiya


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

ZabuzaWaterStyle said:


> nicccce. now do one about Tsunade and Jiraiya


 Ewww... old people smex


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## DeathRose (Jan 7, 2007)

fine...how about Tsunade and Kakashi. or Neji and TenTen


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

Santa Claus said:


> He was very commanding, plus after the first time it's nothing. It's like riding a bike


lol, so true


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## Marguerite Perrin (Jan 7, 2007)

You sir are a master mind! That was great! Keep up the funny stories, I like them very much  

Ohh and btw, your story gave me a big one


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Methwolf said:


> You sir are a master mind! That was great! Keep up the funny stories, I like them very much
> 
> Ohh and btw, your story gave me a big one




   That is the Santa Claus guarantee!


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

anybody know what mine should be about? santa claus?


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

I would die for a Dosu and Sakura fic. Maybe make one of those. I will add a Jiraiya and Tsunade later on.


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

ryuclan said:


> anybody know what mine should be about? santa claus?


 Rofl a ZabuzaxHaku fic keke I am not serious... or am I BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

OMG. I never thought a ff of mine would attract this much attention so quickly. Usually, my ffs suck bad. I mean, they really suck.


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

zabuza? haku? so crazy it just might work! naw just kidding


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Zabuza and Haku share a bond no one can touch. They are not enemies nor lovers. They are partners. Soul friends. You can't kill a bond like that.... Plus I will personally get Kankuro the pimp to cut your face three times if you dare say HakuXZabuza.


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

Santa Claus said:


> OMG. I never thought a ff of mine would attract this much attention so quickly. Usually, my ffs suck bad. I mean, they really suck.


 They don't suck the endings, if you make them do, because they were like one sentence long. This fic is lemon, so of course it gets attention.


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

i got a idea, naruto uses his Bushin no Jutsu to gang bang sakura. TEEHEE


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

I mean the real ones, not those sucky, half ass ones I created. Okay, forget tomorrow, here is some SakuSasu.


      Chapter 2



*Spoiler*: __ 



"Please Sasuke!" Sakura pleads as she looks at the handsome Uchiha. Sasuke grunts, and shakes his head.

  "I don't go out with losers." he says coldly. "But I am not a loser. Naruto is-"Sakura was cut off by Sasuke's firm voice.

   "Shut the fuck up about Naruto! He and I have a tough life, you don't even know what we go through..." the black haired boy snaps.

    Sakura gasps. She shakes a bit, but is persistent. "I can understand your pain, Sasuke. You do not live to get attention. You live to revive your clan, and... I can respect that." the pink girl says seriously.

    Sasuke loosens a bit. "You really mean that? I mean, _truly?_" Sasuke asks, his voice tenderizing.

   Sakura nods. "Every word." Sasuke smirks, and stands up. "Thanks Sakura, you really don't know how much it means to me." Sakura feels her luck pushing.

   "Soooooo. Will you go out with me?" Sasuke looks at her. "No." he says, and turns around.

   Sakura mumbles, then snaps her fingers. "Will you at least make love to me?" Sasuke looks at her for a full three minutes, quiet, not a word. "Ooookay. Sakura, your not only annoying, your a now trying to rape me..." the Uchiha says as he runs away.

   Sakura spits. "When will he feel emotions for me?!" Sakura cries. She sits on a bench, the morning drifting on. Floating. She looks up, to see Kakashi walking down the street, happily reading his book.

_Kakashi sensei! He knows a lot about sex! He can help me get Sasuke to take his pants off! Clever me._

    "Oh Kakashi sensei!" Sakura shouts to her teacher who folds his page in half to preserve his place in reading.

    "Yes, Sakura." Kakashi asks. Sakura hastily runs up to him. "Kakashi sensei. You know how I like Sasuke. Right?" the pink haired kunoichi asks.

   Kakashi nods, clearly interested in her problem. "Yes, I realize that you also have a vibrator that has Sasuke's face on it and you stalk him through the day, yes, I know you like Sasuke.

    Sakura's mouth closes, and she slowly walks away...


    "Damn, Sasuke hates me, Kakashi stalks me, and the day is almost up... Wait! If their are two girls that can help me, it is Temari and Kin!" Sakura exclaims as she thinks on how many times girls (and some gay man) have asks Temari and Kin for advice on how to make a man fall for you. It was her last chance!

    She ran toward the Konoha Help Center. There was not a minute to lose!

   Just then, Kin and Temari came out of the ice cream shop behind Sakura. Temari looked at the rampaging female. "I hope she knows were closed on Sundays." Temari says. "Ahh, no biggie." Kin gestures biting a big piece of chocolate off her cone...





  It's short, but I like it short, it leaves you wanting more.


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

lmao nice chapter made me all cold inside


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

that ones funny, how long it take u to write that?


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

About 10-12 minutes at the extreme most.


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

yeah im writing the next chap to my new ff after i take a shower im all sweat eww note to self take shower after practice


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

Santa Claus said:


> About 10-12 minutes at the extreme most.


u must bleed naruto, it'll prolly take me a good hour *walks away head down*


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

^So true Chaos, so true. I loved that quote by the 8 tailed demon. I'll make an excpetion. He kicks ass.


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

when will we get a new chapter?


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Later tonight If I feel like writing more.


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

alright


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

*If you ask why I add so much, look at it, it is soooooo short compared to better writers like Serac.*





*Spoiler*: __ 



Sakura ran faster to Kin and Temari's shop. "Get yo man, in the van" Weird name, but Sakura thought. "If they actually got Kakashi to withstand three weeks as Anko's poor little sex slave while wearing a rabbit costume and having to provide oral sex every thrity minutes, they can at least get her Sasuke!"

      She was running so fast, she did not realize Sasuke was walking right in front of her. _Crash!_ Sakura knocked into the Uchiha, and landed on the floor, head first.

   Sasuke suffered only a minor bruise to the stomach. "Sa-ku-ra. Why do you have to fuck up another one of my days?" Sasuke Uchiha asked the unconscious body. No reply. 

   He rolled his eyes. "Better bring you to my place." he said.


   The Uchiha carried Sakura on his back, mumbling curses as he plopped her on the bed he slept in every night. He exhaled, and went to go watch some more _Sex and the City_.


   After Sasuke's favorite show was over, he decided he was getting hungry. He walked to the fridge, and grabbed a piece of leftover Pizza he had ordered last night with Neji and Shino.

   "Mmmm. Hmmm. Mhhh" Sasuke hummed as he put the pizza in the microwave, adn set the timer for 3:00 minutes. Unfourtunately, his finger slipped and her accidentily set the time for   _30:00_.

   The Uchiha went about to see more TV. 


   After 10 minutes of TV surfing, he was bored, and hungry. Why hadn't his pizza come out yet? Better go check it. He walked to his kitchen, annoyed at the inconvience. 

    He peered into the microwave. The pizza, which was once neatly put into a triangle, was now an exploded mess of cheese and sauce.

   "friend." Sasuke muttered as he vigoriously took the pizza out.

   "*Sigh* well, I better eat it..." he said reluctantly. He grabbed a fork and a knife, and cut it into small pieces, enjoying his meal.

  Little did the boy know, Sakura Haruno was very wide awake, planning a strategy. 

   "He saved me because he loves me! Oh happy day!" Sakura whispered to herself eagerly.

    Sakura thought again. "If I can lure him near me, I can pounce on him, and maybe just get lucky there, hubba hubba."

   So, that was Sakura's plan: Rape Sasuke. And, to be honest, it worked. 

   Sakura moaned a bit, to catch the Uchiha's attention. Sasuke looked over to see Sakura slowly moving her legs and arms. 

   "About time she woke up. I ain't no babysitting service for crazy girls who masterbate to me." Sasuke said bluntly.

    He walked over, to wake her up and shove her the hell out of his house, but fell into a trap!

    "Genjutsu! Clone Jutsu!" Sakura shouted as she created four clones, all enhanced with Genjutsu skills.

   Sasuke turned back to face his adversaries. He shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you." he said. The Sakura clones, who were in battle stance, said "You really do love-" they were cut short by the Uchiha's impressive kunai slicing ability.

    "Where are you Sakura?" Sasuke asked. Eerie silence. He stepped back, right into another trap! "Oh shit!" Sasuke exclaimed as Sakura clones grappled him.

   In the distance, Sakura returned to normal, her disguise was a towel. "Crap! I could not see that. Your getting good at this." Sasuke admitted, struggling to get free from the obsessed female grips.

   Sakura nodded. "Now! I will taste you Sasuke! And you will enjoy it!" Sasuke looked at her. "Mommy..." he squeaked.





     This took me 15 minutes.


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

lmao nice i need to get a bite to eat now


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

sooooooo hilarious!


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Eating is most youthful Chaos.


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

ok time to crack my kneckles and eat the rest of this calzone while telling every1 what Tatshi looks like in the next chap


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

yeh its like 4:30 here and i'm still eating


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

who isn't i just ate a whole 4 foot calzone hmm hmm good


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

big apetite ic, i'm just eatin a double cheeseburger i brought earlier, yeh, i'm luvin it


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

*With this next post. I become a Jounin 1,500 posts!*

This post represents my 1,500 official post. I would like to use this post with the end of Sasuke and Sakura.


   End of Sasuke and Sakura.



*Spoiler*: __ 



The crazy pink haired ninja took off, no, _ripped_ theUchiha's pants straight off.

   She licked her lips, and pressed her ear against his belly. She tried to tickle him, but Sasuke was in utter fear.

    "Sakura! This is just so wrong on soo many levels!" Sasuke said. Sakura laughed. 

   "I know, and I want every second of it to be filled with our bodies mixing, Sasuke." she said seductively as she hugged her lover.

    Sakura clicked her fingers, and three other Sakura clones walked in. "Stab his arms and legs so he can't escape, now." the leader Sakura commanded.

   "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU CRAZY BITCH?" Sasuke screamed. But his screams were silenced by a scroll shoved down his throat. The girls smiled, and carefully stabbed his arms, licking the blood off of his wounds.

    "Hmddmdfhdbfhj" Sasuke muffled. Sakura layed on his naked, bare body. "Oh Sasuke! I just want to please you. I really do." Sakura said as she got hot fudge. 

    "Mhhdkb?" Sasuke mumbled. Sakura poured it all over his penis. It tickled, but Sakura would have NEVER expected what happened next. Sakura... LICKED it off. 

   "DJBDJBFVJKFDBVHFBVKJDVBFHJVBD!!!!!!!!" Sasuke screamed, soon, he could not take it.

  "You fucking physco!" he shrieked. Sakura smiled, and put her tongue down his throat.

   "I love you Sasuke... I realy do...." Sakura said as she began to rape him. Pacing.

   Sasuke muffled more, this was not good!  "Oh yes! Sasuke, do me right!" "Help... me..: Sasuke cried as his penis snapped right off and flew out the window.

    Sakura stopped, and fell off of Sasuke. Blood was everywhere, streaming out like a fountain. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?" Sasuke cried as he fainted.




   END. I hope you guys like the surprise twist ending. Next couple is Jiraiya and Tsunade.


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

i'm still laughing, f**king hilarious

WHAT A TWEEST


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

*shakes head* brother you lack penis lmao


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

he'll prolly go get it
penis restore jutsu!


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## Pugthug (Jan 7, 2007)

Aww it should have ended with it hitting Anko outside and she picks it up, snuggles it, and say "Your my new friend!"


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## ryuclan (Jan 7, 2007)

lol yeh that would have been too funny


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## Mr-Kory (Jan 7, 2007)

ha thats so funny what an awesome ending


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## Uzumaki (Jan 7, 2007)

omg, I Will never be the same again... You made me want to smoke pot. 
And Do Some1... Bah!


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 7, 2007)

What's that you said? A SasuSaku one? Okay I'm in.


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Here is an extremely small Anko discovery. (You guys stole my idea. Anko is going to collect penises! I had no time to write it 



*Spoiler*: __ 



Sasuke's bloody penis flew straight out of his house window, and bounced on the hard concrete floor outside.

     It started to set in it's own gore, until Anko Mitarashi strolled by, on her usual daily stroll to find more penises to add to her collection.

    Anko saw the very small rod, and rushed over. "Hmmm. 2inches, but I bet you have potential. Your coming with me, friend..."


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

Kthrows up the calzone he ate last night* that was sick and disturbing


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Next paring is a horny Jiraiya and a Tsunade who doesn't even know what penis means from the long years she was away from intercourse. Hehh hehh


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

u're shitting me right you gotta be


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## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

*Chapter 3.*

You know Chaos, I added this couple in to love ones self, i really like it.


     Okay, Chapter 3. Not really all vibe and lustful, but funny.

  Jiraiya and Tsunade: Old people smex


*Spoiler*: __ 



Godaime Hokage, otherwise known as the legendary Sannin Tsunade, sat at her desk filling out paperwork for the ew ANBU squad.

    She sighed. "I hate paperwork." But it was her obligation to run the Konoha Leaf Village with an iron fist, so she wrote.

    The day drew on, three hours, four hours. Finally, after 4 and a half hours of long, and grueling work, she jumped to exclaim. "Done! Shizune, give this to Shikamaru Nara the ANBU squad leader."

   Her undying assistent, Shizune, obetiently walked in to collect the papers. Poor Shizune, she was working three times ashard as Tsunade, having to deal with Anko brag on how she found yet another penis. It was nerveracking! Why couldn't Shizune find one?

   Tsunade sat back in her chair, exhaling and going to sleep. At least that is what she wanted. But a horny, pervy sage would not let her. Oh no, he had to be annoying.

    "Hi Tsunade. Can I come in? he asked cheerfully. Tsunade didn't even have to wait for him to finish the question. "No" she mumbled.

   "Lovely!" Jiraiya said as he took a seat near her desk. Sometimes, he could be quite bothersome.

    "What do you want, Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked. Jiraiya smiled, and summoned a small tadpole.

  "You see this?" he asks. Tsunade, beginning to get interested, leaned over. "Yeah, it's a tadpole..." she said blunty, waiting for an answer.

   Jiraiya nodded, his arms folded and his eyes closed into a smirk. "Tell me, Tsunade, what does it look like? Think really hard." the sage said smiling a bit.

   "A.... tadpole. This tadpole looks like a tadpole. Where are you going with your games today Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked.

   Jiraya gave a little snicker. "Think harder! Harder, longer, thicker." the pervert said.

   Now Tsunade had finally caught on. "You sick bastard! Take this, yaaa!" she screamed as she delivered the most amazing punch to Jiraiya. Unfourtunately, Jiraiya healed quickly, but was not laughing.

   He stood up. "Why did you hit me? All I wanted to do was give you this..." he said, but Tsunade punched him again.

   "Don't unzip your fly asshole!" she yelled. Yet again, the sage stood up, shaky. "I... I just wanted to give.... give you... th... these." he said, handing her flowers.

    Tsunade felt stupid. Whoops. "Oh.. Sorry about that Jiraiya." she said grabbing the flowers and sniffing them. It smelled good, like roses.

   Tsunade looked at the poor old man. "Why did you say 'harder' 'longer' 'thicker'?" 

  Jiraiya gave a sly smile. "Think about what it looks like, 'harder' think harder. 'longer' Just take some time to think about it. 'thicker' well, you know my penis is nowhere near as thick as those flowers."

 Tsunade gave a chuckle. "I know that Jiraiya. I ju-" she was stopped by Jiraiya saying something that filled her with lust. "I was joking right there. My penis is longer, harder and thicker than that boutque of flowers......"




   Short, but kinda funny. I felt like I just had to add them as a couple.


----------



## HudanTatshi (Jan 7, 2007)

i know you did but i didnn't get too into the tsunade jiraiya thing. but i read a lemony narutsunade ff on ff.net


----------



## Uzumaki (Jan 7, 2007)

and now I won't sleep at night. Anko might come steal my penis


----------



## Chopper (Jan 7, 2007)

Hahha, omg such a great story.


----------



## Vance (Jan 7, 2007)

Next chap will be more horifically nerveracking. Beware Anko!


----------



## Mr-Kory (Jan 8, 2007)

oh god Anko. Shizuane cant find a penis lol


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

Shizune is so lonely.


----------



## Uzumaki (Jan 8, 2007)

And Im Still Scared for the god dammit anko  More of this, plz ...


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

*The second part of chapter 3*

*Okay, in the spoiler tag below lies the rest of chapter 3. Jiraiya Tsunade....



*Spoiler*: __ 



"You... you... fucking perv!" Tsunade yells socking Jiraiya yet again. Jiraiya is sent flying toward the wall, and crashes there.

   Jiraiya gets up, smiling, bleeding on his face. "Come on, Tsunade. You _know_ You wanna be fucked. To feel like a woman again." the sage said taking his shirt off.


    Tsunade closed her eyes. Of course she wanted to feel it. But... she was scared. "No, Jiraiya. Stop." she says worrily. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel good. I make love softly to you." he reassured.

    Tsunade thought over it. Softly, or hard. Thrashing or slow movement. She thought long and hard.... Long and hard...

    She remembered how good it felt when her boyfriends made sweet love to her, but she also remembered when boyfriends fucked her so hard, she could not move.

  "Jiraiya... I want you to do me right. Hard." she said grinning. Jiraiya gasped, and ripped his shirt and pants off.

   Tsunade looked at his naked flesh. He was damn good looking, all muscle and pecks. "Lets go." he said and jumped on her.

   He slowly ripped her shirt off. Her bossoms flopping onto his face. He burried his face into her chest. It felt good to be a playa again.

   He kissed her chest, then moved down. He took her pants off, and turned her around. He sat on her back, and started doing her doggystlye.

   "Oh yeah, Jiraiya. Thats it! THATS THE WAY. Come on, oh Ahhhh/" Tsunade moaned and yelped.

    Jiraiya paced up, her ass sucking his cock in further. Soon, Jiraiya came, it felt great.

    Tsunade was just about to come, when Jiraiya stopped. He layed on the floor, out of breath.

   "Ji... Jiraiya, I still didn't come." she said impatiently. Jiraiya looked at her. "Y.. You didn't?"

   Tsunade shook her head. Jiraiya banged his hand against the metal. "I fail at sex, that means I fail at life!" he began to cry.

  "Jiraiya, don't cry. There is always next time..." she was cut short by Jiraiya moving near her feminine organ, and licking it.

   "OH! Jiraiya, yes. That is it! The G- spot. Yes!" Tsunade screamed in ecstacy as Jiraiya licked her bush clean. His tongue tickled, it wiggled, and soon, she came as well....


   "Th... That was amazing, Jiraiya." Tsunade said gasping for breath. Jiraiya smiled. "It's my job, toots."

   Tsunade grabbed her breasts to cover them, but Jiraiya licked and kissed them. Tsunade moaned again, life would never get any better...






  Okay, short, but that is the end of chap three. Next couple will be Neji and TenTen.


----------



## Jazz (Jan 8, 2007)

Santa, can I have a metric buttload of lemons? 

great ff


----------



## Kayo (Jan 8, 2007)

I will never be the same after this >.<


----------



## Mintaka (Jan 8, 2007)

I like this fanfic it's funny wierd as hell and perverted.  WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR!?


----------



## InoSakuShine (Jan 8, 2007)

O.O....I've been reading this for a while but was too scared to reply....!


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

Don't be scared... be horny.


----------



## HudanTatshi (Jan 8, 2007)

wise words from a wise man


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

Thank you.


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

*Chapter 4 Neji and TenTen*

(Man, this is really fun to write. Okay, pervs, here is the Neji and TenTen chapter. The first part.



*Spoiler*: __ 



Neji Hyuga and his helpful teammate, Tenten, were training by the rocks on Saturday morning.

   "Focus, TenTen. Limit chakra flow in your body, and more into your arms and legs. Only then will you come close to landing a hit on me." the Hyuga boy said as he powered down his Byakugan.

    TenTen layed on the floor, gasping for air. "W... Well, I can't really keep up with you. You and Lee are too good for a failure like me." the ninja weapon girl said blushing.

   "Hmph. No wonder you are a failure, thinking like that will lead you to failure and nothing else." the black haired boy said as he turned to leave.

   TenTen breathed again, and passed out from exhaustion. 


    Neji walked into his house. Today, it was empty, quiet and lonely. Just the way Neji liked it.

   He sat on the couch, and relaxed. Watching some TV, then, he yawned. "TenTen... That weakling." he mumbled to himself as he fell asleep.

   In three hours, he woke up. Slowly stretching for a new part of the day: the afternoon.

   He took a shower, soaping his body up, smoothening out his hair. After 20 minutes of showering, the boy put on some clothes. Black would be fine.

   He trotted out, looking for Lee or Hinata. Maybe even Sasuke, he could go for some challenges today. 

    But there was nobody, all there was was TenTen, all alone. The two of them.

   "TenTen? Where is everyone?" Neji asked. Neji could see TenTen was stained with blood and gore, this frightened him.

   "Ummmm, TenTen?" Neji asked. "I... killed them.... Now, will you love me?" the demonic girl asked her one true love as she showed him the weapons she had used to kill her friends with.

   "What the fuck? Tenten?" Neji exclaimed. TenTen had her eyes open wide. "Looooove me... Looooove me..."

   Neji backed away, only to hear TenTen sing a sad love song.


_I.. never meant to be, so sad to you...
One.. One thing I said I'd never do.
One look from you, and... I would fall from grace.
And... That would wipe the smile, right from my face
Do, you remember when we used to dance?
And it's a (forgot the lines) of circumstance
One thing led to ano-ther we were young.
And we could scream together songs unsung
It was the Heat Of The Moment... Telling me what your heart meant..._

The bloodied girl had a killer look in her eyes, as she raised a machete, she charged Neji.

   "It was the Heat... Of The Moment..." she sang as she tried to kill him..


 "TenTen! Get the hell away from me!!!! Ahhhhhh"





*I thought it was okay, more later.


----------



## Jazz (Jan 8, 2007)

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! She killededed Lee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

She is a crazy biatch, ain't she?


----------



## Shizor (Jan 8, 2007)

> They chose an action movie, and took their seats. Hinata could barely concentrate on the movie, she was too worried about not trying to turn Naruto off, but was she wrong. Naruto, who was more lustful than an elephant, would not be turned on even if Hinata took a shit on him. In fact, Naruto was so horny, shitting on him might make him _more_ turned on.



... what the fuck.


----------



## Vance (Jan 8, 2007)

You likey that part Shizor?


----------



## Mr-Kory (Jan 9, 2007)

ha the heat of the moment more this is awesome


----------



## Vance (Jan 9, 2007)

Who knows, Leeb may still be alive, and Team Gai (no Gai, he is dead) might have a foursome with Sakura....... OOpps, Yeah, that is gonna happen, I gave my ideas out :sweat


----------



## BlackLily108 (Jan 9, 2007)

I never did like Ten-Ten much...oh well, great stories, and don't be scared InoSakuShine, I've been reading stories like this since I was 9 ^^


----------



## Uzumaki (Jan 9, 2007)

GREEEAT! But she killed Naruto! NOO! And Hinata! they were going to be a couple!


----------



## Vaeny (Jan 9, 2007)

Great job but .. ILL KILL TENTEN NOW! *when i get there i see how ugly she is and would never fit with Neji and i kill her*


----------



## Vance (Jan 9, 2007)

Just to let you know, these stories have nothing in common. They are each in a different timeline, they are not related.


----------



## InoSakuShine (Jan 9, 2007)

I put your fic in my fic. Look at the last update of the Horrors of Fanfiction and you'll see it. My way of saying..heh, thumbs up!


----------



## DeathRose (Jan 9, 2007)

Santa Claus said:


> I would die for a Dosu and Sakura fic. Maybe make one of those. I will add a Jiraiya and Tsunade later on.



yay!! ty!!


----------



## Vance (Jan 9, 2007)

Thz InSakuShione. *Gives you a big, fat, sloppy rep with a side of fries.*


----------



## makemytime (Jan 9, 2007)

pretty good updates


----------



## General Mustang (Jan 9, 2007)

Wow, awesome! Very nice xD


----------



## Vance (Jan 9, 2007)

Next chap should be up by tomorrow or the next day.


----------



## HudanTatshi (Jan 9, 2007)

i hoped u liked ur lil ff in insakushine's horror of ff n my new ff is updated n keep up the work


----------



## Mr-Kory (Jan 10, 2007)

yay tommorow or the next day


----------



## Vance (Jan 10, 2007)

Maybe Friday or Saturday. I don't really know.


----------



## Secret ANBU665 (Jan 10, 2007)

we have to have your fic.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Secret ANBU665 (Jan 10, 2007)

Hanata what do you do?

IMG]http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j51/TQ_DeeDee/Naruto/Naruto%20Avatars/Hinata-ipod.jpg[/IMG]

What do you like?


----------



## Uruhara_the_great (Jan 10, 2007)

am gonna go masturbate...lol


----------



## Vance (Jan 10, 2007)

ANBU: Huh?

Your gonna go masturbate? Lovely, have fun


----------



## Jazz (Jan 10, 2007)

Secret ANBU665 said:


> Hanata what do you do?
> 
> 
> 
> What do you like?



Tried to make showable


----------



## Vance (Jan 10, 2007)

I hope you guys like it so far...


----------



## DeathRose (Jan 11, 2007)

i havent been on, so i havent been reading Santa's fan fic's, but i just did, and they were so frickin funny, when Sasuke lost his dick!!! Dick Restore No Jutsu!!!


----------



## Hack_Benjamin (Jan 11, 2007)

*undecided*

its was cool... a little... creepy or something idk... but i liked it


----------



## Vance (Jan 11, 2007)

Tomorrow for sure. A new chap. Forget the Lee and Sakura thing, that will be the next couple. TenTen and Neji get a taste of love!


----------



## NarutoFanGurl911 (Jan 12, 2007)

*omg*

omg i read the first chapter and totally flipped.you have.....talent.
but this would probly be a HUGE romance naruhina novel fanfic.
yea yea im 12.but this has gotta be the whats the word......*thinking*...horniest,weirdest grossest fanfic ever.....BUT I TOTALLY THOUGHT IT WAS AUSOME!!!!!
good work!

 ITS FAN FICTIONS THAT TRULY MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO UZAMAKI....damn right!!!!!!!!!
rawr...do notice that i am not an average 12 year old.....cuz i freakin rock!
so anyway.ausome ff,and uhhh,rawr.


----------



## Vance (Jan 12, 2007)

Anway, I am taking suggestions for new couples, next one will be Zabuza and Kurenai.


----------



## NarutoFanGurl911 (Jan 12, 2007)

eeeeeeeeeew. old ppl smex....sasukes unbeleivably small dick.

amazingly small.
but yea ausome. anko collecting penises?shizune looking for penises?
what the hell is wrong with you ppl????!
dude shizune.


----------



## Cold (Jan 12, 2007)

Oh snap! This is good stuff!  I didn't know you could write "this type of stuff" and post them here...  But now that I know, guess I can add some to mine...  Maybe in a later chapter...  Thanks man!


----------



## Vance (Jan 12, 2007)

*The end of TenTen and Neji.*

*Muha Muha, no Zabuza and Kurenai, sorry. This is the last couple, sorry.


     Savor the end of Neji and TenTen!




*Spoiler*: __ 



Neji sped away from the crazed TenTen. He was panting, sweating and scared. 

    "Neji!! Come back and love me!!" TenTen screamed as she chased her love. Neji used a substitution Jutsu. 

    TenTen grabbed the false Neji, and started to hump it. It poofed into a piece of wood.

    TenTen groaned, and looked some more. "God... She is... like a phsycho bitch!" Neji whispered.

   "Neji!!!" a voice whispered near him. Neji snapped to attention; it was Lee. Neji sighed, and walked over to him.

    Lee grabbed the Hyuga, and jumped to the top of the roof.

   Once they were at the top, Lee began to talk. "Neji! You must leave this destroyed place." Lee warned.

   Neji looked at him. "What?" Lee rolled his eyes. "TenTen is truly a demon. She has the 3 tailed demon, the sex-crazed demon in her. When it erupts, hell breaks lose. There is no way of stopping it." Lee explained.

    Neji felt his blood run thin ice cold. "... She doesn't die unless she has been filled to her maximum with her lover's... uh... "birth given fluid" " Lee said smiling.

   "Fuck no." Neji as he crossed his arms. Lee looked at him. "Neji! Do you not realize that you will kill us both unless you de-petal her? Please Neji, do it for the sake of our youthfulness!" Lee complained.

   Neji pushed him. "I would rather die than have sex with that fucking maniac." Lee rolled his eyes again. "Look out!": he screamed as TenTen jumped in front of them.

   The girl had a machete, about to swipe. Lee dodged it, and kicked the female nychrophiliac.

    Lee stood proud. "If you will not de-petal her, we must fight her." Lee said as he urged Neji to stand.

   Neji smiled, and activated his Byakugan. "This is more like it." he said as he prepared his Gentle Fist. "Lee and Neji duo!" the two screamed as they attacked.

   TenTen fell under their combined efforts, but she lived. "Out of the way Lee!!!" she screamed as she punched Lee so hard he was sent flying to the Sand Village.

   "Lee!" Neji screeched. TenTen pounced on him. "Love me or die!" she commanded. 

   Neji struggled to get free. It was no use, she was too strong. "Love me!" she screeched. 

    Neji closed his eyes, and stopped. "Okay... Fine.. Just don't kill me... Neji breathed.

   TenTen smiled. And ripped her clothes off. She slowly cut his clothes off with a machete. "Yeah, this is more like it." she said sweetly as she began to put himself in her.

   "Ohhh. Neji. Yeah." she moaned in pleasure as she sped up.

    Neji tightened his eyes, and was raped for three minutes. She landed off him, breathing and sighing. 

   "Thank... you... Neji." she sighed, and died.

   Neji got up, and looked at his penis. It was... bigger. He grinned. It was filled with chakra!

   "That was worth it!" he smiled and left.





   *Weird, but this entire series is fucked up.


----------



## Mr-Kory (Jan 12, 2007)

lol that was extremely wird and funny lol at the end


----------



## Vance (Jan 12, 2007)

Savor it, it be over.


----------



## -Kaitar_Hitomuri- (Jan 13, 2007)

*Phew....

I just read this whole thread in one sitting....
Really nice work there Santa - WOW - friggin crazy stuff

Just LOVED it           d-(^_^)-b  WOOT!


----------



## shobu (Jan 13, 2007)

Good job! Its funny to read chapters like these which are very difficult to the "normal" ones.


----------



## DeathRose (Jan 13, 2007)

lol that was funny!!XD nice job!!


----------



## Vance (Jan 13, 2007)

This is just the tip of the iceberg... Look for the new fanfic. "LEMON, LEMON, LEMON" That will be 2X as sick as this...


----------



## soniclinx (Jan 15, 2007)

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j51/TQ_DeeDee/Naruto/Naruto%20Avatars/Hinata-ipod.jpg[/img]


----------



## soniclinx (Jan 15, 2007)

IMG]http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j51/TQ_DeeDee/Naruto/Naruto%20Avatars/Hinata-ipod.jpg[/img]


----------



## Vance (Jan 16, 2007)

..........


----------



## Jazz (Jan 16, 2007)

Ohhh.... I liked this ol' fic, Neji got the three taiils-sex demon's chakra, lol!!!


----------



## Jazz (Jan 16, 2007)

Edited...(more words)


----------



## Vance (Jan 16, 2007)

This thread is still alive? Whoa. Don't dead threads get landfilled?


----------



## Eoph_dono (Jan 16, 2007)

*nice to finaly post on a thread that you see*

your name suits you SANTA BRING ME ANOTHER FANFIC PREASENT 

i realy enjoy your storys (only took a little while for you to wright but it was still good)  from the humor


----------



## NarutoFanGurl911 (Jan 16, 2007)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! as long as there is no old ppl smex.


----------



## General Mustang (Jan 16, 2007)

OMG! That one was good lol! Very nice, funny at the end too


----------



## Codi Kenhai (Jan 16, 2007)

Awesome ff dude. Why u stoppin for?


----------



## soniclinx (Jan 18, 2007)

So u gon post more stories rite plz


----------



## Traveler (Jan 19, 2007)

Darn it and I was going to ask about NaruKin too..... (I want NaruKin!)


----------



## Vance (Jan 19, 2007)

Sorry, no more.


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Jan 20, 2007)

hm...I thought that the three tailed demon was a shark...or was it the cat...or was it the bat...?  Ah well.  Nice man!  *thumbs up* that soo rocked!  However, I'm going to be scarred for life because of tenten and that old people smex


----------



## Vencet (Jan 23, 2007)

awwwww come on man right more


----------



## Vance (Mar 22, 2007)

*The Vance posts more.*

Fuck it, I am adding more. Consider it an early Christmas present from Vance Santa.



   Expect more later, I haven't written a hentei one in a while, I will need to work on my style.


----------



## BrojoJojo (Mar 23, 2007)

...On the first chapter...Hinata...it wasn't her first time....odd.


----------



## Rokudaime (Mar 23, 2007)

Vance, if possible I love to see you doing naruto X Hanabi story

I am looking forward of it.


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Mar 24, 2007)

hey man, we wanna learn more!


----------



## Detsu (Mar 24, 2007)

Absolutely awsome dude !

I can't wait for more FanFics from you and more of this one !

Keep up the good work


----------



## tsunade1095 (Apr 3, 2007)

these r good in a sorta sick perverted way but keep writing!


----------



## Vance (Apr 3, 2007)

The last story will have ALL pairings, and be very, very sick.


----------



## SasukeKunsGirl56 (Apr 3, 2007)

omg that was HOT!
mann very good!
hehehe sexy!
make another one!


----------



## Vance (Apr 3, 2007)

Okay, here is a really, really short part to a Lee and Sakura. There are three parts, here is number 1.



*Spoiler*: __ 



Rock Lee ran around Konoha, energetic and happy. "Today I will ask Sakura to date me!" Lee happily cheered.

   He leaped over three buildings, as he yelled happily. He saw Sakura as she ran away from something.

   "Yosh! This is most unyouthful! Sakura crying?" Lee asked himself. He jumped to her.

   "Sakura! What is wrong?" Lee asked. Sakura pushed him aside. "Get away from me, you freak!" she cried as she punched him hard.

     Lee fell to the floor. He grinned. He loved getting hit.


   An hour later, he was all alone at night, about 3:00am. He sighed. It was dark, but he was waiting for Neji to train with him.

   Finally, he saw Neji walking down the street, drunk, and nearly naked. "La lal ul ha la." he sang in a drunken tone.

   "Heeeeeeey Lee? How are ya buddy?" he asked. Lee sighed. "Neji, I have one question. How can I get Sakura to love me?" 

    Neji sighed. "Lee, you need to rape her. Come on man! You know she ain't going for no guy with a melon on his arm."

   Lee squinted. "What?" he asked. Neji rolled his eyes. "You know, I had sex with Temari just now, and it was HOT." he slurred.

    Lee stood up. "You got to deflower TEMARI!?" he exclaimed. Neji nodded, proud.

   "All I did, was put some of this in her drink. A Hyuga love potion, sure to get her nice and horny." Neji smiled.

   Lee grabbed it. "Yosh, I will try it. But will it not be youthful?" Lee asked concerned. 

   Neji spit on the floor. "Lee, please stop being a ^ (not the meaning of the word "respect".) and just put this in her drink, or jerk off to her every night... Lame." Neji laughed.

   Lee  watched Neji walk away, singing himself to a coma. "Rape... Hmmm?" Lee thought.




   *Okay, not to good, but I have got to get the perverted style of writing back.


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 4, 2007)

yes!  *does touchdown dance* another one!  Nice job V-man!


----------



## Vance (Apr 4, 2007)

It might be a real rape-a thon. Next one will be a very, very, very sexual NaruSaku


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 4, 2007)

the sooner the better I say...but then again that's me.

Dude, you need to read "my name is Sakura."  This little gal (or guy) is really talented.  Check it out.  I know you'll love it.

~Asylum the Dreamer
Yo leada


----------



## txsfld (Apr 4, 2007)

yay back to this ff again


----------



## Vance (Apr 4, 2007)

I read it... Ohj yeah, Evil Shadow, check your PM.


----------



## salmonking2 (Apr 5, 2007)

omg dude i just spent likie 10 minute staring at your icon thing and i couldnt stop laffing


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 5, 2007)

salmonking2 said:


> omg dude i just spent likie 10 minute staring at your icon thing and i couldnt stop laffing



...for some reason...me too.  Weird


----------



## Vance (Apr 5, 2007)

Me=Jiraiya's mentor in pervertedness=awesomeness.


----------



## Fuse (Apr 5, 2007)

WTF!!!!?????


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 5, 2007)

yeah...I have no idea on what he just said so I'm going to agree with him as usual.


----------



## Fuse (Apr 5, 2007)

HUH?????? WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?

First Lee is planning on raping Sakura and now were watching Kermit humping something!!!!!!!

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??????


----------



## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 5, 2007)

generally speaking, Vance is a very perverted person.  And that's why he's on my team, Holocaust


----------



## salmonking2 (Apr 5, 2007)

Vance said:


> Me=Jiraiya's mentor in pervertedness=awesomeness.



i disagree. jiraiya is one of the few self taught masters of the perverted arts lol XD


----------



## Codi Kenhai (Apr 5, 2007)

I see you finally decided to update, eh Vance?


----------



## Vance (Apr 5, 2007)

lol, I really try.


----------



## Vencet (Apr 7, 2007)

havent seen tis thread in a while but besides that vance man whens the next part of lee sku or narusaku i think u metioned


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 7, 2007)

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * goes up to vance and bows down* you are officallly my master............ wait that sounded alittle dirty *giggles* oh well.

Your stories our awesome. well execpt for the part with the old people smex. that was a little distrubing.................................. *got distracted by your icon* can't........ stop....... watching..........


----------



## salmonking2 (Apr 7, 2007)

OMG!!! ME NIETHER!! and i been starin at it for like, 3 days


----------



## Vencet (Apr 7, 2007)

salmon king not here to your sasuke hatins here and on her deal his way Bah anti sasuke Who could be anti sasuke oh and Ino shika cho who gives a crap if its dirty oh and u r a girl right


----------



## Vencet (Apr 7, 2007)

just to add u dont have to answer that ino shika cho u can just say thats classified


----------



## Vance (Apr 7, 2007)

lol, I'll add more later, a long later. I am two points away from becoming a paragon of hope. 2 POINTS AWAY! 

    I want to get e-married, a perv needs love too 



   Ha ha ha ha, lol. My ShikaXTemari fanmfic Changes will be done soon, and then I'll add more here.


----------



## salmonking2 (Apr 7, 2007)

sasuke is a homo!! he shall be destroyed my the cheeze monster~~~beware


----------



## Vance (Apr 8, 2007)

why is he going to be killed by the Cheese Monster?


----------



## salmonking2 (Apr 8, 2007)

wtf? cheese monster? theres no such thing. however, the cousin of the cheese monster, the cheese ITZ monster is very reall. and very horny and hungry. the cheeseitz monster demands porno and ramen. remember- dont fck with the cheese itz monster


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 8, 2007)

shinoko uchiha, yes i am a girl, and why would that be classifed, or whatever you said * tilts head in confusion* any who. HIYA *waves to everyone*


----------



## Vance (Apr 8, 2007)

Yeah, this fic is dead, nevermind the Lee stuff, I ain't writin it no more, sorry.


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 8, 2007)

aw man *puppydog face* but your a mastermind, you can't just queit on us now


----------



## Codi Kenhai (Apr 8, 2007)

Don't stop updateing this ff, Vance. We're still watin for more.


----------



## Vance (Apr 8, 2007)

Okay, but I'll update it "once in a while" mostly at late nights.


----------



## Codi Kenhai (Apr 8, 2007)

That'll work.


----------



## Vance (Apr 8, 2007)

Okay, changes has been updated.


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 8, 2007)

yeah, you'll still gonna write...er.... type. * jumps for joy* i can't wait to see what you think of next.......... did i have dayjavoo, or did that just sound like a fruit roll up commerical........ stupid commercials, any who, I'll be waiting to read the next story.


----------



## Vance (Apr 8, 2007)

Wow, you guys are real horny.


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 8, 2007)

*innocent look* what ever are you talking about............ aw who am i kidding


----------



## Codi Kenhai (Apr 8, 2007)

Vance said:


> Wow, you guys are real horny.



Your point being what?


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## salmonking2 (Apr 8, 2007)

im not horny its the cheeze it monster! hes always jkin off in the bathroom-and its all your falt! with your awsome lemon stories. bendayho


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## Vance (Apr 9, 2007)

Yes, jerkin off is good, very good.


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## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 9, 2007)

Vance said:


> Yes, jerkin off is good, very good.




and i'm pretty sure kermit feels the same way.


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## Vance (Apr 9, 2007)

I am adding a Kankuro and Ayame pairing after the Lee and Sakura part.


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## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 9, 2007)

yay, but my sister hates lee, oh well, yay!!!!!!!!!!!


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## salmonking2 (Apr 9, 2007)

hey kermit dont need to jack off, he gets tons of booty. just look at the poor little rabbit.


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## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 9, 2007)

Vance said:


> Don't get scarred.  Get horny!



Ah, good times.

My sig quote is better though.


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## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Apr 9, 2007)

poor poor bunny, why don't kermit go jack something else and leave that poor bunny's @$$ alone, i mean that bunny probably can't even sit right let alone walk away.


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## salmonking2 (Apr 9, 2007)

you lnow, after watchin kermit fck the bunny so much, i think I want to fck a bunny


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