# Sasuke and Sakura: a ninja love story



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 23, 2007)

At this time, Sasuke is training with Orochimaru. Sakura sat on the bench where she last saw him...when he left the village. Sasuke's words still floated around her head.

"Sakura, thank you". 

As she quietly sat, she thought of him standing with Orochimaru with a blood stained sword in his hand and dead bodies of ninja surrounding them. She shivered at the thought of that. She looked up at the sky and remembered her missions with Naruto, Kakashi, and Sasuke. 

"Sakura Chan"

Sakura turned her head to see Naruto walking up to her nad sitting next to her. 

"What Naruto, I'm not going on a date with you," she snapped.

"Don't worry, I'm not"

"Well, what is it"

"Nothing, I was just looking for you since we havent talked for a while and-"

"WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO TALK," Sakura snapped. 

Naruto tried to talk for no words came out. 

"Idiot". 

Sakura stomped off and Naruto still sat there with his mouth wide open.
**********************************************************
At Orochimaru's hideout, Sasuke leaned against the wall silently. He diddnt let anyone talk to him since he was'nt in the mood. When someone tried to talk to him he gave them "the look". Even Karin or his teamates couldnt talk to him. He stood up and started to walk out. 

"Sasuke, where are you going"

"I'm going for a walk, AND DON'T YOU DARE FOLLOW"


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (May 23, 2007)

Well, i love the pairing of sasusaku, and i'm a sucker for romance story. but this was kinda short, so i can't tell you exaclty what i think about it, but i do want you to keep at it, and update


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 24, 2007)

okay I'll try to make the next chapter longer


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (May 24, 2007)

lol it sucked seriously


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (May 25, 2007)

I like it so far,there Basicly Acting like each other and they don't even know it!!!!!Keep up the good work!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 28, 2007)

thank you very much


----------



## Vance (May 28, 2007)

It was spectaculor amazing incredible it was okay.

  The Sakura part was mediocre, but the Sasuke part was one of the worst I have ever saw.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 29, 2007)

Okay, I dont know why...but.................of well


----------



## ninja_of_death (May 29, 2007)

it was pretty good! keep it up!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 29, 2007)

Thank you very much, if you have any ideas for the story, just wtirte them and I'll try as hars as I can to put it in


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 29, 2007)

*Chapter 2*

Sakura walked out of the village muttering what Naruto said. She was really annoyed and upset. She just thought of Sasuke every second, especially that thought she had. Then she heard a crack behind a tree. She was startled and turned quickly...no one was there. She took out a kunai knife.

"SHOW YOURSELF". 

No one answered, all she heard was fottsteps walking throught the trees. Then...she heard a *CHING*. Someone was gonna take out a sword and attack from behind. She quickly turned and went in a stance. 

"CHA, IM READY!" The Inner Sakura, cleched a fist. 

"Sakura Chan"

Sakura was startled. Someone was behind her....right behind her. She reconised the voice, she felt breathing down her neck. She turned slowly.

"Sa-Sasuke...Kun"

Sasuke looked at her with sencere eyes. Sakura looked ta him with shock. It has been a while, since she last saw him when she was with Sai and Naruto.  She felt a tear foll down her cheek.

"Hmph, youre as useless as when we were togenther on a team"

"YOURE THE ONE WHOS USELESS, YOU JOINED OROCHIMARU AFTER I TRIED AND TRIED -"

"shutup"

Sasuke appeared behind her and put a sword up to her neck. He put his mouth up to her ear.

"Get out of here, go back to the village"

Sakura was silent since she was confused.

" *SIGH*, I LO-"

"SASUKE"

Sasuke groaned.

"I TOLD THEM NOT TO FOLLOW, Sakura, get away form me, I dont want you to get hurt"

He turned and looked at Sakura, who was shocked by what she was hearing.

"I- dont want to leave you"

Sasuke pished her in some bushes. He put his hand on her mouth.

"Stay there, and keep quiet!"

Sasuke turned and saw Karin. 

"I told you not to follow," Sasuke snapped

Karin was silent. 

"I just wanted to see what you were doing"

"NOW YOU KNOW NOW GO AWAY KARIN". 

Sasuek glared at Karin as she walked away.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 29, 2007)

Listen people, I nned tro know about Karin, her abilities etc. I dont care who tells me I just wanta know. Thank you


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (May 29, 2007)

lol,the manga doesn't tell us you....not worth a insult..


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (May 30, 2007)

okay, I just wanted to know about Karin so I can make her be in the story without messing her up...I guess she'll only be in a few chapters


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (May 31, 2007)

ok, now it's a little confusing. He seems to keep materilzing out of thin air in places. But other then that. It's one of my fav pairing, so even if you said they took off all their clothes and ran naked through ramdom peoples' sprinkler, i would have to say THIS IS AWESOME, so . . . . 

THIS IS AWESOME


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 1, 2007)

thnak you Kisara


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 1, 2007)

kisara,sorry thats my sister and she crazy ,but i think it's really good so far.Keep up the good work!


----------



## DethStryque (Jun 1, 2007)

could be better...i wasnt feeling it that much but atleast you tried


----------



## Vance (Jun 2, 2007)

Not impressive, you need to work A LOT on all of your fics.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 2, 2007)

Thank you for all the replys...VANCE YOUR NOT MY TEACHER, thnak you for the advice but...I TRY


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 2, 2007)

*Chapter 3*

When Karin dissapeared in the trees, Sasuke turned around.

"Sakura"

No answer. 

"SAKURA, you can come out now"

No one came out of the bushes. Sasuke felt an urge to look. He went to the bush and looked over, NO ONE WAS THERE. All that was there was a note. He picked it up. 

_Sasuke,
               we have youre girlfreind. If you want her back...ALIVE...meet me in the Valley of the End. If you lose, I will take over your body...if you win, you can have your girlfreind back. You have one night to get here...if you dont...SHE WILL DIE.                   Orochimaru and Kabuto._


Sasuke crumpled up the letter and ripped it up into bits. He gritted his teeth.

"Why am I so stupid, they grabbed her while I was talking to Karin...CRAP...that was all part of that plan"

"SASUKE"

Sasuke turned and saw Naruto. He looked like he ran a long way. 

"WHERES SAKURA," he screamed. 

"She got kidnapped"

"AM I SUPPOSED TO BELEAVE THAT"

"I tried to protect her...IDIOT...but she got kidnapped by Orochimaru while I was being delayed"

"I DONT CARE...YOU'LL PAY FOR LEAVING THE VILLAGE...IT ENDS HERE"

" You're planning to take me on"

Naruto diddnt say anything. All he had was an angry face.

"Fine"


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 2, 2007)

DARN KABUTO ---Sorry i can't curse my loverly oroy--- DARN KABUTO how dare he steal sakura out from under sasuke's nose like that. for shame SHAME!!!!

This is turning out to be a really awesome story. keep up the good work. I can't wait for more.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 2, 2007)

Thank you Kisara =)
I like coments like that


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 2, 2007)

Yes I love these kind of parts to storys there so sweet and romantice.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 2, 2007)

Yeah, Thanks


----------



## ninja_of_death (Jun 2, 2007)

yay! finally a good sasusaku fanfiction!! please continue it


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 3, 2007)

Thank you and I will continue


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 3, 2007)

*Chapter 4*

Sasuke and Naruto faced each other. Naruto had an angry look in his eyes and had a clenched fist.

"Sasuke"

"What"

"I'll win, for Sakura!"

"I DID NOT KIDNAP HER YOU IDIOT"

"SHUTUP"

Naruto started to run to Sasuke to throw a pinch at him. Sasuke caught the punch and kicked him in the stomach. Naruto got up right when he fell to the ground and did a handsign.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU"

Naruto summoned over a hundred of himself. They surrounded Sasuke with no way out. They all got ready to attack. Sasuke got an idea.

"NA-RU-TO UZUMAKI BARRAGE"

But, a log was in his place"

"OH SHOOT"

Naruto looked around wildly for him. 

"I know youre here Sasuke," he cried 

"Oh, you mean...RIGHT BEHIND YOU" 

Sasuke took out his sword and put it up to Naruto's neck. All the shadow clones dissapeared at that moment. 

"...fool...you'll never be Hokage"

Naruto was silent. Sasuke took out a kunai.

"I diddnt want to do this Naruto...but...I have no choice, you diddnt beleave me...so I'll kill you NOW"

Sasuke flung the kunai into Naruto's chest. He fell forward. When Naruto fell to the ground, Sasuke looked down at him. 

Two hours since Sauske walked away.

"Naruto Kun!"


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 3, 2007)

Dude as I have said many of times before. This is one heck of a good sasusaku fanfic. Although the first couple sentences that i read made me laugh

I.E.

"Sasuke"

"What?"

"I'll win, for Sakura."

"I DIDN'T KIDNAP HER YOU IDIOT"


Classic. I LOVE IT.

P;ease continue. 


Hey could you also check out my sasusaku story. heres the link

MONTHS to post this.

you know, tell me what you think i need to improve on. I hope i can be good like you. 

Well can't wait for more, so HURRY UP!!!!!

See when you get good, you have a posse of fans that will kill you if you don't write/ type quickly.

however I am not like that

my sister is.

My sister is naruto_fan_gurl101

Sadly we're actually sisters. Not e-sister. Step sisters. 

And she crazy.

Watch out for her.

She threaten this other dude (*twitch* with my threat actually) because he would continue a love story he started writing.

Isn't that right Sen

Ack, I'm babbling.

Sorry.

I shall be gone.

*me being gone*


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 4, 2007)

*Chapter 5*

Kakashi, Hinata, Neji, Rock Lee, and Kiba found Naruto on the ground. There was a cut on his chest and blood stained his jumpsuit. Hinata bursted to tears and Neji embraced her. Everyone else looked dwon at Narutos dead body. Kakashi kneeled down over Naruto. He looked at the wounds.

"Sasuke...he killed him". Hinata looked at Kakashi as everyone went silent. 

"Uhn...wha...what are you guys doing here"

"NARUTO KUN...YOUR ALIVE"
**********************************************************
Meanwhile, in the Valley of the End.

Orochimaru and Kabuto waited for Sasuke. Sakura was guarded by the Sound Five in a small barrier. She was tied up and had tape on her mouth. At the moment she was passed out. 

"Lord Orochimaru, do you really expect Sasuke to come"

"Yes...this IS his girlfreind after all"

"Do you want him to come"

"Yes, because I know I will win" 

Orochimaru smirked as Kabuto smiled.
**********************************************************

Sasuke sat in a cave to rest for a while. He felt (all of a sudden) so mad at himself. He let Sakura get kidnapped and he thought he killed Naruto. He looked at his sword that had blood stains on it. He threw it across the cave and it clanged into the wall and onto the floor. He got up and picked up the sword.

"It's time...to confront Orochimaru"


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 4, 2007)

again another awesome post.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is all


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 5, 2007)

LOL, thanks, and I seems the problem with my thread is done so dont worry anymore


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 5, 2007)

*Chapter 6*

Sasuke walked in the woods. On his way to the Valley of the End, he thought of a perfect strategy. He also thoguth of Sakura and how much he loved her. He stopped. 

"Why was I so foolish...I joined Orochimaru and Sakura was so upset...and now shes in danger and the only way to rescue her is to defeat Orochimaru"

"OR WILL IT..."

Sasuke turned and saw Karin leaning against a tree, adjusting her glasses.

"What is it, Karin," he snapped

"Oh, nothing much...just that...I was sent to kill you"

Sasuke knew it was Orochimarus doing.

"Actually, I lied"

"DONT DO THAT AGAIN"

"Youre near the Valley of the End and I'm supposed the wait for you to come and tell Lord Orochimaru...well wait for you"

Karin walked away and jumped into the valley. Sasuke felt his heart thump. 

"Sakura, I'm coming"

Sasuke jumped into the valley. 

"Ah, Sasuke, we've been waiting for you"

"Lets just get it over with"


----------



## 春野　サクラ (Jun 5, 2007)

interesting.. please continue


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 5, 2007)

Thank you very much


----------



## sakura san (Jun 5, 2007)

i love this ff it doesnt suck like mine!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 7, 2007)

Thank you Sakura San.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 7, 2007)

*Chapter 7*

Orochimaru smirked. Sasuke took out his katana sword and glared. 

"You know Sasuke,if you lose you let me take over your body"

Sasuke was silent. Orochimaru did some hand seals. 

"Remember, just the sharingan wont save you. NINJA ART SUMMONING JUTSU"

At that moment, in a huge puff of smoke, a huge snake appeared. Sakura, who just woke up when she heard Sasuke's voice, took out a file to cut the rope while the Sound Five was'nt looking. When the rope was finally cut .She took off the tape and watched the fight. Sasuke and Orochimaru were on the snake throwing blows at each other. Orochimaru did some handsigns.

"NINJA ART WATER DRAGON MISSILE"

"FIRE STYLE GRAND FIRE BALL JUTSU"

The water dragon and the fire ball clashed. Smoke filled the air. Sasuke stood where he was. 

"Behind you"

Sasuke turned his head to strike but Orochimaru grabbed him by his neck. Sasuke gripped Orochimarus wrist and was struggling to breathe and break free. 

"SASUKE," Sakura screamed. 

"Shutup," Sakon snapped. 

When Sasukes life and little time left, Orochimaru flung him off the snake. BOOM, Sasuke hit the ground. Orochimaru appeared over him, the snake and barrier dissapeared.  Sasuke tried to get up, but his body wont let him. 

"Orochimaru"

"Yes"

"Let Sakura go...and I will let you have my body"

"SASUKE"

"Sorry...Sakura"

"Wait, lets let his girlfreind see him one last time,"Orochimaru said. 

Sakura ran over to Sasuke. There was blood dripping fom his mouth. 

"Sakura...I'm...sorry"

"Dont leave me Sasuke," Sakura cried as tears ran down her cheeks and onto Sasuke. 

"Sakura...dont waste your tears on me"

"Can you hurry up, you have one more minute," Orochimaru said.

"I love you Sasuke"

"Me to dont forget that"

They kissed. 

"FORBIDDEN JUTSU"

Sasuke closed his eyes. The last thing he saw the Sakura, crying her head off. Orochimaru was know in control of Sasuke. 

"HA, I DID IT"

Kabuto, picked up Sasuke and they all dissapeared...leaving Sakura behind.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 8, 2007)

Omg, what drama in that chapter


----------



## sakura san (Jun 8, 2007)

*crying and claping* MAKE MORE!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 8, 2007)

Thank You Very Much Sakura San. I think I'll be an awesome writer one day


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 9, 2007)

*Chapter 8*

"SAKURA CHAN"

Sakura looked up and looked around. Someone was looking for her...but who.

"SAKURA"

It was Naruto. He was calling for her. 

"NARUTO...IM DOWN HERE"

She made out a figure with blonde, spikey hair looking down at her and jumping down.

"You okay Sakura," Naruto asked. 

Sakura just looked down. 

"Wheres Sasuke...I want to teach him a lession"

Sakura started to cry again. She struggled to hold it back.

"Naruto...He's...he's-"

"WHAT"

"Hes gone"

Narutos eyes widend in shock. Sasuke, the last of the Uchiha clan, one of the most powerful ninjas Naruto ever knew...was gone.

"What happened?"

"He fought Orochimaru and tried to rescue me from him...then he gave up his body to him and he died when Orochimaru did Forbiden Jutsu"

Naruto looked away. Sakura was quiet. 

"C'mon Sakura Chan...lets go"

Naruto took his hand out to Sakura and lead her out of the Valley of the End.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 11, 2007)

GO GET HIM SAKURA-CHAN *I cries tears of sorrow* DON'T LET THAT DECIPABLE, AND VERY HOT, AND HUNKY, AND VERY....... SORRY, OROCHIMARU TAKE OVER YOUR PERCIOUS SASUKE-KUN.............................. *turns to hyuga ninja* As for you, WRITE MORE PLEASE, I can't take all the suspense. I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 11, 2007)

Kisara,and he not hunky or sexy kakashi is,and for the commment where you call me crazy i'm not SO STOP SAYING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!As for you hyuga ninja keep up the good work and please write some more.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 12, 2007)

LOL, thank you


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 13, 2007)

*Chapter 9*

"Sakura chan," Naruto asked as he set up a fire that night when they stopped to rest. 

"Yeah"

"Why do you care about Sasuke so much"

"BECAUSE I DO," Sakura snapped as she stood up 

Naruto fell backward since Sakura was glaring over him like she was way taller than him.

"Sakura, calm down"

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, IDIOT, SASUKES GONE AND-"

"Sakura look out"

Naruto jumped on Sakura as a kunai zoomed over their heads and hit a tree.

"Woah, what the heck was that," Naruto asked as he got up slowly.

"I dont know, but I think someones watching us," Sakura answered 

"I'll go and check it out"

Naruto took otu a kunai and dissapeared in the trees.

"Hm, fool...I knew he will fall for my trap," Sakura smirked

Sakura quietly ran off to find Orochimaru...AND KILL HIM. She ran through the trees. When she was a half a mile away from Naruto she heard him calling her name.

"I have to kepp moving"


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 13, 2007)

please update


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 13, 2007)

HyugaNinja said:


> Thank you for all the replys...VANCE YOUR NOT MY TEACHER, thnak you for the advice but...I TRY



if he was you'd be better.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 13, 2007)

okay, I knew that chapter diddnt have that much detail in it sorry.

LATER: okay I edited. Its has a little more detail. AND GOOD TRY WEEZY, YOURE ON MY IGNORE LIST LOL


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 13, 2007)

Hyuganinja, you are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i love how sakura fooled naruto..... he he he he's such an idiot. well gotta go, and update please


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 14, 2007)

Thank you Kisara! Very very much


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 14, 2007)

what world do I live in again?


----------



## Vance (Jun 14, 2007)

This story sucks balls.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 14, 2007)

*yawns* old, boring stuff youre saying and It's okay of you thin kit stinks..people have different writing styles and likes and dislikes...MAN WHAT AM I SAYING JUST SHUTUP YOU TWO


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 14, 2007)

LOL you have a _certain_ writing style? It doesn't matter what writing style you have, your fanfics should atleart be 800+ not even that maybe 1000+


----------



## Vance (Jun 14, 2007)

Wait, I thought we were on her ignore list


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 15, 2007)

*Does'nt talk to Weezy and Vance and keeps working on stories*


----------



## Aldrick (Jun 15, 2007)

I haven't read the story but I have read page 3 of this thread.

I agree with what Vance said.

Constructive stuff? Nah. Reminds me too much of the 4Kids forums. Creepy it was.


----------



## LittleBlondePunk (Jun 15, 2007)

Hehe, this has nothin to do with the thread... But just cause i thought it was funny, when i glanced at your sig i thought it was a vagina at first..... Heheh


OK! but on topic. I think being a writer is something you have to strive hard to master. I understand you have a story, but i dont necessarily think your a good writer, more of a story teller.... but heres some tips.

Before you write chapters, you need to have the outline of your story and the basic ending set out.
Learn to describe things in detail, it doesnt hurt the imagination. 
Since your using characters already established, you really have to stay true with there personalities. I think your doing ok with there speech, but i think you need to pay a little more attention to the actions they do.
Remember to write clearly and to proof read your work.

Thats all i got! I hope i helped a bit


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

HyugaBitch, I apologize for not flaming you more.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

stop picking on her,god bullies much


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Shut up naruto fan gurl


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

lol @ HyugaNinja's rep bar.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

What happened to it?


----------



## sakura san (Jun 15, 2007)

vance your so evil just STAY AWAY FROM HyugaNinja OR I WILL HURT YOU,GOD people are just so cruel for no reason damn what has this world come to.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> Shut up naruto fan gurl





dude vance, I like yourt stories and all, but you can't be telling my sister to shut up. I may pick on her alot, but hey, she's my sis, and i still love her, so i can't allow you to be telling her to shut up, ok. well anywho


STOP PICKING ON HYUGANINJA, just because you don't like the way she writes, as a polite person, you give her tips in becoming a better writer like littleblondepunk did., and not just keep telling her, her writing stinks, (which I, in my opinion, do not agree with). 

well i have said my 2 cents, so hate me if you wish or what not, but Hyuganinja, please continue the story. i like it alot, it's very interesting


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

what kisara said and no one tells me to shut up,your the one thats needs to shut the H*ll up.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Be quiet, all of you, when did the Fanfiction Section become so overrun by little loli girls?


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> What happened to it?



she got a taste of my red sperm. .


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

if yopu don't like them leave and never come back


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

if you don't like then leave and never come back


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Stop talking, us men are superior to you women, ha.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

no your not we all are equal


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

@LOLI GIRLS

GTFO the FanFiction Section unless you sex starts with the letter "M"...I'm sorry but the FF section is bloody enough.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Lol, I can't wait to neg these girls.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 15, 2007)

naruto_fan_gurl101 said:


> if you don't like then leave and never come back





Vance said:


> Stop talking, us men are superior to you women, ha.



You sexist, douche. XD

If you don't like this topic then stop whining and just don't post. *Gasp*! I'm a genious.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

whatever,your both B!cthes


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

I said this so little n00bs like you would come out.


  I believe in equality, but these little girls are getting rather annoying.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

Okay, the FanFiction section is all about critism.Me and Vance said "It sucked".

HyugaNinja needs to get over and try to use it to get better.Thats why we keep messign with her.

Now since you loli's understand now can you go back play ground and play the game "First one to grow some tits"?


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 15, 2007)

well leave so she will write some more for those who like it b!cth


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Shut up, you are not important, you don't even have rep, you fail...


  @Weezy

   Nice one, lmao.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

HyugaNinja needs to actually spend time and write a descent FanFiction.

Now Kisara be honest, how much time does HyugaNinja put in her FanFiction?


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

And Kisara, I will neg you later, and you will cry.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

I negged her  but my rep power weak


----------



## Brand New (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> Stop talking, us men are superior to you women, ha.





Vance said:


> I said this so little n00bs like you would come out.
> 
> 
> I believe in equality, but these little girls are getting rather annoying.



I seem to be getting mixed reviews from this. You are superior, but you  believe in equality? That makes about as much sense as your attrocious grammar, and trust me neither make sense.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

@Brand NEW

Your mom was obviously drinking and smoking when she pushed you out her vagina.He said he believes equality and he said *these* little girls are getting annoying.

He said "these", that means not everyone, just them in general.

jeez, they make the FF a menstraution play ground.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Where do you see my grammar failing?


  I didn't mean that, I was just trying to make fun of them. 

  You are also going down on my neg list, just to let you know BN.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> And Kisara, I will neg you later, and you will cry.



oh boo whoo, you negged me, OMG, i shall die because of you, you know what vance, go screw your self, and if you don't like stories like this, STOP FREAKING POSTING ON THESE THREADS


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Kisara, just shut the fuck up...


----------



## Gecka (Jun 15, 2007)

well she does have a point you know. I am neutral in this thing, but i must use logic for 'us' so not to look bad.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

dude, just leave


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

You too?


----------



## legendary_sennin (Jun 15, 2007)

I think there are certain improvments that you need to make, in the second chapter for instance, you could have set up karin to follow sasuke rather than just have her appear. I think you need to pad the chapters out a bit more too because things are happening a bit too quickly, readers like to be kept in a little bit of suspense at least. Otherwise, keep practicing and your writing will get better in no time =3

Weezy and Vance, get over yourselves and leave these poor girls alone. If you have nothing better to do than write 2 pages worth of posts about how you're going to neg rep someone on a forum and make them cry and crap like that then loli girls obviously pwn you at life.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Shut up as well legendary sennin


  Hak, I was nice in the beginning, and this HyugaBitch said for me to shut up, so...


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

Sayuga said:


> well she does have a point you know. I am neutral in this thing, but i must use logic for 'us' so not to look bad.



Vance is he in the UC? If he/she is kick them out

then make a new rule

*Rule 1:*NEVER TURN ON A UC.ALWAYS STAY BY THERE SIDE


----------



## Dogma (Jun 15, 2007)

Hmmm, 

Well I decided to look at this because I wanted to make sure Vance and Weezy weren't getting too out of hand with their insulting and flaming. Though it's quite funny how one somewhat par-subpar fanfiction can gain such attention.

Now, I don't agree with his method, but Vance does have a point. This story needs work, to say that it doesn't would be nothing but a dellusion. They gave advice, (in a non-constructive way) but they still did. 

If advice is given, it should be used not ignored. So as long as the advice is ignored, then I don't really see the problem with those two saying what they want to say. Not to mention it's a free forum simply saying "GFTO" doesn't hold any validity in terms of reasoning.

They don't have to post, but they did anyways. If you don't like it, then your probably going to have to get over it anyways.

I don't really support what my friends are doing, but don't try to pull some superioity over them because they say what they want too. If you have a problem with them, then deal with it.

For the record, Brand new.

It's Genius.

Not Genious.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Well, he said he was on both sides, but yes, never turn on a fellow UC member.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

I agree with Hakanami, critism is part of a writer.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> Where do you see my grammar failing?
> 
> 
> I didn't mean that, I was just trying to make fun of them.
> ...





Vance said:


> Kisara, just shut the fuck up...



Oh, no! How will I ever live?! *sarcasm*

Kisara, he told you. He must stayed up half the night thinking that one up while using most of his wit. *sarcasm*

Seriously, you guys say this open to criticism, but that's only "constructive criticism". I'm on no ones side I just hate to see hypocricy.

Here's a direct quote from Vance, and I quote "I did this so little n00bs like you would come out". Huh, I just thought you came here to show what you think of the thread.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

I agree with Hakanami, critism is part of a writer.If you can't handle it you should just quit.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Brand New, just get out, seriously, you remind me of a fucking nerd with glasses, get out. If you _want_ me to talk to you in a more intelligent manner, ask for it. Till then. I'll keep fucking flaming your ass.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

But serious HyugaNinja learn to take time on each chapter.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Moronic individuals such as yourself Brand New should not waste other people's time just to make a funny comment when they have no idea what the matter at hand is about. Especially in your case. You come here to insult my friend and I because you feel the need to make a so called "funny" Hilarious, truly hilarious at how childish your motives are. Maybe once you grow some courage to challenge me when there are not already 6 other people trying to kill me, I will look at you in a whole different perspective. As of now, you are an insignificant piece of dirt on the corner of street.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 15, 2007)

Weezy said:


> But serious HyugaNinja learn to take time on each chapter.



I agree.

You seem to have sped through the chapters fast.


----------



## adenator (Jun 15, 2007)

meh good try


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Not one of her chapters had a thousand words, and those that did were filled with consistent jabbering, and lack of much needed detail.


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Jun 15, 2007)

wow, now heres something entertaining, i came here looking to read a story and i get 2 1/2 pages of fighting.

ok listen, yes the story could use some work, but tell her (i do believe hyuga ninja is a girl, and if she's not..... oops) once what needs working on, and leave it. As for everyone else, stop picking fights, hyuganinja can take care of herself. and then then other people, just leaving the people who are picking the fights alone, and just stop this idiotic bickering, no offense but if this keeps going all of you (execpt for the people who are not fighting) are just gonna sound stupid and childish.

I think i shall stop for now


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 15, 2007)

...Some of them have a point. If you don't like my ff DONT POST. Just say you odnt like ONCE and then never post on it again. *smiles at Kisara, Naruto Fan Gurl* thank you...I really apprecaite what your doing...Vance and Weezy...are just a waste of our time lol. IN YOUR FACE *laughs at Vance and Weezy*


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

I thought we were on your ignore list 

   Ino, don't start too.

   Hyuga, I'm twelve, and I can PWN your ass in writing.


----------



## sakura san (Jun 15, 2007)

hold the phone if you supposedly twelve 
why the heck are you cussing? huh answer that.


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Jun 15, 2007)

vance, I'm not staring anything, i'm trying to end it, and no really cares whose ass you can pwn in writing, and unbecoming to bragg


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

How many times does your father beat you up at home hyuga?

  I hope he doesn't stick something in you once in a while, I hope not/


----------



## Brand New (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> I thought we were on your ignore list
> 
> Ino, don't start too.
> 
> Hyuga, I'm twelve, and I can PWN your ass in writing.



^^ROFL^^

Hyuuga, It think for the most part they were trying to help, then it just got way out of hand. Topics like these are suppose to be open to criticism you can be polite and thank them for some suggestions or we can have a battle royale. Personally, I'm open to both.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

I tried to help, but she tried to be a bitch.


----------



## Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> How many times does your father beat you up at home hyuga?
> 
> I hope he doesn't stick something in you once in a while, I hope not/





dude, that was just sick. You know what, you are an asswhole


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

HyugaNinja said:


> ...Some of them have a point. If you don't like my ff DONT POST. Just say you odnt like ONCE and then never post on it again. *smiles at Kisara, Naruto Fan Gurl* thank you...I really apprecaite what your doing...Vance and Weezy...are just a waste of our time lol. IN YOUR FACE *laughs at Vance and Weezy*



Dude just quit now.Getting critism is part of being a writer, like I said before if you can't handle it just quit.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> I tried to help, but she tried to be a bitch.





Ino_Shika_Cho(&Asuma) said:


> dude, that was just sick. You know what, you are an asswhole



Awesome guys, lets just keep agging it on. Or we can just stop? That sounds like fun, right?!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 15, 2007)

OH IM 13 OH! JUST SHUT UP. Oh and if you want to know so bad why I reply anyway even if your on my ignore list THE OTHER REPLYS YOU IDIOT. AND I TRY TO DO THIS MY WAY DO YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SHUTUP


----------



## Homura (Jun 15, 2007)

o_o And here I thought that this fanfic was actually popular due to the amount of replies.


----------



## adenator (Jun 15, 2007)

Yondaime X Naruto Fc


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

Everybody thought that.


----------



## adenator (Jun 15, 2007)

go there and compare to mine. 

mine is gripping and oulls people in thats all u have to work on


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

it sucks actually lol.


----------



## adenator (Jun 15, 2007)

Eh fuck u buddy XD


----------



## sakura san (Jun 15, 2007)

You know what its just barely 2 people making such a big crisis i say we should just forgot anything and everything they posted and get on with our lives cause its just there opinions and there opinions although they cant be controlled nor changed they can be ignored and forgotten.besides hyuganinja you shouldn't care what they think just be proud of your fanfiction cause more then 2 people like it,and as long as more people are giving you more positive post then negative,dont care about the negative ones.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

wow i'm 15 whoopee............ sorry for the sarcastism hyuganinja, but this agrueing with everyone is getting out of hand. So count me out.


----------



## Dogma (Jun 15, 2007)

Karin said:


> o_o And here I thought that this fanfic was actually popular due to the amount of replies.



It's quite popular, despite being somewhat mediocre. Suprising n'eh?

The problem is, lack of openess.

Quit saying "Don't post here," because it doesn't solve any problems, it drives them away. You all talk as if you want to be mature, and the other person is childish, but merely sending the problem away does nothing. 

That's what has me annoyed. So let me bold print a few things just for further clarification.

*Criticism is part of writing, critics will tear you apart  for no good reason. Sometimes they have good advice, sometimes they don't. Just deal with it anyways.

If you deal with criticism, and don't try to use the advice. Then you shouldn't put your work in public. Otherwise, your simply doing a horrible job, and not caring.

Saying "leave me alone" is not a way to deal with critics, espicially those as tenacious as Vance and Weezy. Listening to what they have to say (pre-flames) and trying to grow from it is.

PUTTING CAPS IN THE DAMN POST DOES NOT DO ANYTHING BUT ANNOY! I KNOW YOUR TRYING TO SHOUT BUT IT"S ANNOYING ANYWAYS. IF YOU NEED TO SHOUT OR FURTHER EXCLAIM SOMETHING.

Use bold print, or an exclamation mark (! = This is what one of those things look like. Just letting you all know.)*


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 15, 2007)

...................................................................


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

ttttt......aaaaa.....cccccc.....ooooo.......sssssss........


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Hyuga, you say I am on your ignore list, but you say you reply while I am on your ignore list, so that means you are actually viewing my post, meaning I am not on your ignore list. 


  Nice Hak, and the rest of you who agree with Hyuga are retards.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

fisrt off, i know i'm a reatard. gosh, just ask my sister, and you just confused me with all that ignore crap


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Just ignore the ignore crap.


----------



## Dogma (Jun 15, 2007)

Don't misunderstand me either Vance, I may have your back if things step out of hand, but I don't approve of useless flaming either.

I genuinely want to see this fanfic get better, as well as all fanfics that could use some work. (All is a stretch though, because I'm really talking about the Gaara one in Hyuga's case. I don't like Sasuke.)

Unfortunately, I don't mince words, I speak what I see to be the truth despite how harsh it may sound. If you take offense to this, then I can offer nothing but an apology.

Vance knows this too, because I reviewed his story, and I was brutal in it as well. But you know what happened? He used that information to get even better and better. And now he can write a pretty good story, even on a bad day.

Don't take offense to every little thing, and this does apply to everyone else who's aspiring to be a good writer.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

Vance said:


> Just ignore the ignore crap.




that sounds funny if you say it out loud. oh well i'm a dofus in the fist place...... just ignore the ignore crap *laughs* sorry i think it's funny


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Hmm, I guess I won't neg you Kisara...


  @Hak

  I told you, I told her she needed to work on it, and she said to me 'Shut up'


----------



## Homura (Jun 15, 2007)

Is there even a thing called constructive criticism anymore without the use of flaming?


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

I do not believe so, Karin, I do not believe so...


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

I offered her my help, but set she continues to ignore.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

personally vance, i don't care if you neg me, cuz i'm still gonna post my comments and my stories, no matter how green or red my little bar thingy is. i don't see my we have that little bar thingy in the first place,


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Okay... So brave, and cool... *negs*


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

lol vance that cracked me up.

EDIT im serious im still laughing.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

tacos anyone


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

I'll take one.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 15, 2007)

Kisara_Momochi said:


> tacos anyone



omg stfu your annoying as hell.


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Haw haw haw, PWNT.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

ok *hands vance one* anyone else, there really awesome. *sigh* tacos are like the reatarded people's heaven


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 15, 2007)

*munches on tacos* so what if i'm annoying, i still have my tacos


----------



## Vance (Jun 15, 2007)

Double post=ban


----------



## Gecka (Jun 16, 2007)

Ban=making new account and destroying NF with spam and hackings


----------



## Vance (Jun 16, 2007)

Gorogia moniso illasrai.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 16, 2007)

LOL that was funny about the tacos Kisara. Ok, lets get everything straight here. Look Vance, I'm sorry i diddnt send you my stories first (really sorry). Weezy, you said that my story entitled 'The Story of Hakus Family Member' was your fave and no joke...now I think that you were jsut lying (but I might be wrong). I really apprecaite all the replys that say my stories are good and the ones that stand up to me. So why don't we just forget this figthing ever happend, the negging and all that stuff. What do you say =)


----------



## sakura san (Jun 16, 2007)

ok im gonna stop fighting too..
..geez i was having fun


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 16, 2007)

...I just want to stop this crisis going on so I can write IN PEACE an make a peace treaty with Vance annd Weezy


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 16, 2007)

all of your ff's suck.


----------



## Raizen (Jun 16, 2007)

This story just sucks. The other one is a little better but needs a lot of editing by Kyon


----------



## Furious George (Jun 16, 2007)

HyugaNinja said:


> thnak you for the advice but...I TRY



I lol'd at this post. I can't help but notice the irony that this post was made by a person who has a picture of Hinata for an avatar. 

Umm, why did I come here? Oh, right... the fic is bad. Really bad. I just read the first two chapters, and it needs some serious work. I'll be able to offer more constructive criticism when I read a few more chapters.


----------



## Raizen (Jun 16, 2007)

Honestly Hyuga read Kyon's "Writing Tips" thread. It could really help you.


----------



## Vance (Jun 16, 2007)

Fine, truce.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 17, 2007)

If you dont like it, just go away and dont reply again


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 17, 2007)

*Chapter 10*

Sakura ran away from Naruto for about a day. He legs were tired, sweat covered her face, she panted and gasped for breath. She stopped to rest. She landed on the ground and sat against a tree.

"You know, you cant save your boyfriend by just resting"

"Huh"

Sakura looked up and saw Karin leaning against a tree adjusting her glasses. Karin had an unusual look in her eyes.

"Hmph, how pitiful...Sasuke's body is taken over my Orochimaru Sama and-"

"Why don't yuo just shutup," Sakura snapped as he got up.

"Hmph, it seems just following you is just a waste of my time," Karin sighed.

Sakura was starting to get really mad. Karin laughed.

"Ha ha ha, you care so much about..oh I don't know...YOUR DEAD BOYFREIND" 

Sakura jumped on Sakura and took otu a kunai knife and started to fight with Karin.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 17, 2007)

HyugaNinja I apoligize for being a douche.

But seriously me and Vance can help you.Just PM us your chapter ad we'll tell you what you need to work on.


----------



## Vance (Jun 17, 2007)

WHAT WAS THAT?! THAT WAS A CHAPTER?


  Sorry, but you DO NEED TO WORK ON THESE FICS.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 18, 2007)

Fine I'll look for a beta reader...any offers. So far its Katon Shadow.

Oh and Vance, Im sorry I told you to shutup when you told me something...its just thta...im very sensitive. Like next say something like "you can be better" on somethign like that..at least something you think is nice. And I reply when you were on my ignore list because people quote what you wrote and I get the point, okay. So lets just stop arguing and being enimies and help each other instead...same with you Weezy. =)


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

I understand, but I even said "You need to work" and "I don't think you are trying hard enough"

   Those weren't insults, yet, you began it, so I continued it, and others sided with you, while Weezy sided with me.


----------



## Furious George (Jun 18, 2007)

Okay... I will help you out with your latest chappie.



HyugaNinja said:


> Sakura ran away from Naruto for about a day. He legs were tired, sweat covered her face, she panted and gasped for breath.



This whole thing was way too basic. You didn't describe anything. The reader doesn't get a very good picture from what you wrote. If you want people to see the story the way you see it, then you HAVE to be more detailed then this.

Also, it is better to write 'she panted and gasped for *air*'. Breath only becomes 'breath' when air is taken into the lungs. 



> She landed on the ground and sat against a tree.



Again, your word choice is all wrong. 'Landed' on the ground gives off the impression that Sakura is a helicopter, or something! 'Rested' on the ground works just as well, and it makes a lot more sense. If you want to denote that Sakura was very tired, the word 'plopped' on the ground is a good choice too.



> "You know, you cant save your boyfriend by just resting"
> 
> "Huh"



There whould be a question mark behind 'huh'.



> "Why don't yuo just shutup," Sakura snapped as he got up.



'Yuo' should be 'you', 'shut up' is two words, and Sakura is a she.



> "Hmph, it seems just following you is just a waste of my time," Karin sighed.



Only one 'just' is necessary in this sentence.



> "Ha ha ha, you care so much about..oh I don't know...YOUR DEAD BOYFREIND"
> 
> Sakura jumped on Sakura and took otu a kunai knife and started to fight with Karin.



Sakura jumped on *Karin*. You spelled 'out' wrong. Its better to just say Kunai, as anyone who reads Naruto fanfcition would know what you mean. And even when the senctence has fixed spelling, it still reads very awkward: 

"Sakura jumped on Karin and took out a kunai and started to fight with Karin." 

The sentence seems fragmented and it sorta goes on too long. You could have broken this statement in to 3 seperate sentences. Also, it was unecessary to mention that they started to fight with each other. The fact that Sakura jumped on her and pulled out a kunai makes it obvious that they were fighting. Also, way too little detail. This is supposed to be a fight scene, but there is no sense of urgency, anger, or danger at all. It reads very mechanical and choppy. There is no 'flow' to this fic. 

You can't just 'state' what is happening in your fic and then not expect readers to criticize it harshly. A statement is for scientific reports. This is not a scientific report. This is a story. You have to 'tell' us what is happening in your story. Imagine how you see the details of your own story playing in your mind. Imagine how the environment would look around a particular scene. Imagine how angry Sakura would be if Karin really did say that to her. Imagine how YOU would feel if you were in Sakura's shoes and then write out your exact emotions into your fic.. Your facial expression would change. Your eyes would be filled with anger. You would probably be clenching your fist. Tears of hatred would be gathering in your eyes. You would want to kill her. You would want to make Karin feel as horrible as she has made you feel. You wouldn't just want to 'jump on her and take otu a kunai knife'. You would 'leap on her with all your power, roll around with her on the ground while smearing her face in the dirt, rip a kunai from your ninja pouch, and put the blade to the bitche's throat'.... or, something to that effect. 

I know this may all sound like too much work, but this is the stuff that seperates bad fics from good ones.

Also, although we do not know that much about Karin's personality yet... I still say that your Karin a little OOC. I really do not see her being that sadistic at all... but that's just me.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Listen to Cykness, he's good.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 18, 2007)

I thought it was okay, but you need to give the readers more of a detailed description of how the surrounding looks, facial expressions, and more emotions. Also, there were some typos and grammar issues, I think you should check out a thesaurus for some of the words, too.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

You're in the red BN?


----------



## Brand New (Jun 18, 2007)

Vance said:


> You're in the red BN?



Yeah, man. I think I'm hated around here. xD


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

I'd rep you, once I get my rep back.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 18, 2007)

Aight, thanks man.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

HyugaNinja ain't updating it don't seem.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

(I though see said go away vance and weezy)and please post some more hyuganinja.If they think yours is bad look at mine A love story(sakusasku).(it sucks badly,But I tryed)


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Listen bitch, go suck someone's dick, and leave smart people alone.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

question ,Are you in AIG,if your not then your not that smart are you.I am.So i don't know who your calling dumb.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

You need to type better. Plus, I am twelve, and you seem like a fucking retard, so be quiet.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

your the retard  and answer my question and i'm 11 I'll be twelve on the 12-06


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Yeah, I was typing waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than you at that age, little KID.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

who cares!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Here this is what I have to say 1.I CAN'T SPELL FOR NOTHING, 2.you may have but i'm smarter than you, 3.ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

What the fuck is an AIG? Unless you mean AIDS, which I don't have, but I'm sure you do.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

AIG or AG,Acidemily gifted( if thats spelled write)


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

and you say your smarter than me,Ha


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 18, 2007)

Guys, stop fighting. And thank you Cykness. I'll try to remember that


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Academy for the Special, Special=Retard.


   Get the fuck off this forum, little bitch.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

no you!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

lol, your rep is red.


  And no one cares about you, lol.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

so it's been red for a while


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Signifying that no one likes you.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

I DON"T CARE worrying about that is stressful and I got to much stress.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Haw, you have no stress.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

You have no Idea what goes on in my life


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

All of you girls on the internet are fucking annoying with stress, lolz.


----------



## Dogma (Jun 18, 2007)

naruto_fan_gurl101 said:


> question ,Are you in AIG,if your not then your not that smart are you.I am.So i don't know who your calling dumb.



Now, I know the fighting stopped a long time ago, and I don't mean to say anything to provoke it some more, but I must know?

Are you Braindead or something? Seriously. 

I'm curious to know this, because you seem like an idiot right about now.

Not only had the fighting stopped, but things were actually kind of quiet and looking for the better.

What do you do? Say something completely retarded (Littered with poor spelling and grammatical errors mind you.)

Then when Vance becomes "Angry Vance" you say something like this. Which really just adds to your current highly intelligent reputation.

Look, I'm going to say it that way I see it. Right now, the only way you could even seem remotely smart is by staying silent. Because even the biggest fools seem smarter when they shut their mouths.

Honestly, not smart if you don't go to a gifted school or something stupid like that. This coming from the apparent brain surgeon who can't even doublecheck what they're saying before they finish typing it.

Just shut up, apologize. Or don't critize others unless you really know what your talking about and won't make yourself look stupid when doing it.

I'd like to progress with the story, rep Brandnew when I get my rep back, and no longer talk about an already resolved issue.

I'm not saying anymore on the matter for the moment, but if the peanut gallery feel's the need to add some more "highly intelligent" commentary, then let me know.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

okay try have your real father die at age 5 and live with out him for 6 long painful years


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

didn't you read one of my post I CAN"T SPELL FOR NOTHING


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Angry Vance? I am going to rep you now. I don't give a darn what these MODS do.  That was win.


  Just stop talking, I pnwed you.

   Some other loser is going to come here and try me again, lolz.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 18, 2007)

Dude, sis, just leave vance alone, and no you can't spell, (jeez i should know, i liven with you) hyuganinja has already made ta truce with vance and that weezy dude. so just drop it, ok. god, this is almost as bad as when you called megan lazy. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE

and vance, please, PLEASE reframe from calling my sister names, i know i fight with her alot, but still, just call her a idiot or moron, or something along the lines of that. i don't want to fight with you, but i still don't want you calling my sis names like that. and no offense vance, but how could you not know what AG is (sorry Holly, no one calls it AIG but you and meg).

And hyuganinja, as i have said before, it can be alittle confusing, but since it's still sasusaku, i wouldn't care if they ran around naked through random people's sprinklers.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

I DON"T CARE ABOUT STUPID REPS,sorry hyuganinja,if he here I can't read this.Bye


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Are you kidding me? 


  Get the fuck out of here, stupid retard.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Good, bye.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

NO,i'm going now,hope your happy with your self.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 18, 2007)

dude, vance and hakanami, we don't call her a genious for nothing (hint the irony). but holly, please be quiet and leave the peaceful people alone


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Genius, lolz.


----------



## Dogma (Jun 18, 2007)

Kisara_Momochi said:


> Dude, sis, just leave vance alone, and no you can't spell, (jeez i should know, i liven with you) hyuganinja has already made ta truce with vance and that weezy dude. so just drop it, ok. god, this is almost as bad as when you called megan lazy. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE
> 
> and vance, please, PLEASE reframe from calling my sister names, i know i fight with her alot, but still, just call her a idiot or moron, or something along the lines of that. i don't want to fight with you, but i still don't want you calling my sis names like that. and no offense vance, but how could you not know what AG is (sorry Holly, no one calls it AIG but you and meg).
> 
> And hyuganinja, as i have said before, it can be alittle confusing, but since it's still sasusaku, i wouldn't care if they ran around naked through random people's sprinklers.



I respect that your trying to be the voice of reason, and I'm annoyed that this namecalling has happened in the first place. However, if she says something like that Vance, or just stupid in general then I'm going to step in and speak my mind.

I'd like to rep you both back to green, and go on with a clean slate, but unless you can get her to stop picking meaningless fights, that's probably not going to happen easily.

Edit: Those with intellect, should act like they have it. Otherwise, it's worthless.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

She'll never get back to green with Weezy and I on her case, sorry Hak.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

okay,I wound not mind going back to green.


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

I thought you said you didn't care about rep...


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

no but I like the green much better than the red


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

WOOT! 6000 POSTS, off to brag in the Chatterbox!


----------



## Dogma (Jun 18, 2007)

Vance said:


> She'll never get back to green with Weezy and I on her case, sorry Hak.



Your not completely free of blame either.   Don't be so quick to flame.

If you must argue, then argue for the sake of resolution, and not for the sake of arguing.

If anything, don't neg rep anymore unless it's really needed. Because grudges are pointless.



naruto_fan_gurl101 said:


> okay,I wound not mind going back to green.



Sounds reasonable enough, but don't say something unless it honestly should have been said from now on. Otherwise, they have a good reason to start up a conflict.

I'll do what I can, once I get my rep powers back.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

then go!!!


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

ok thank you Hak


----------



## Vance (Jun 18, 2007)

Demanding you are...


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 18, 2007)

I know^.^!


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 18, 2007)

yes vance, very demanding


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 18, 2007)

*shakes head* man this is boring (the fighting for no apparent reason) so can't we just call a truce and all sit down and eat some well deserved tacos.


and sorry for the double posting (if i did, i'm not sure (and don't ask how i'm not sure (I have my ways )))


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 19, 2007)

I know, I can't write with all this fighting going on. If you are going to fight, PM each other (i think thats a good idea). C'mon, all of us just make a turce and forget all of this happened =)


----------



## Brand New (Jun 19, 2007)

Tacos? I could go for some delicious tacos....


----------



## Dogma (Jun 19, 2007)

Well, 

I repped Kisara and Brand New back into the green. And will rep Narutofangurl when I get rep back again. 

But for the most part we did kindof arrive at a silent truce awhile ago.


----------



## naruto_fan_gurl101 (Jun 19, 2007)

please make it soon,please.


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 19, 2007)

thank hakanami, but you didn't need to do that. and as for brand new, tacos sound really good don't they............ i love tacos


----------



## Brand New (Jun 19, 2007)

Heh, heh, tacos rule. I'd prefer a chicken quesadilla at the moment.


----------



## Vance (Jun 19, 2007)

We did make a truce, you two just started in again, lol. .


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 19, 2007)

*sighs* I'm will not be part of this fight...im starting to want to stop this Fic, any opposers


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 19, 2007)

i oppose

And brand new, there is nothing like a good tacos, but chicken quesadilla sounds ok, but tacos still rule

and vance, who were the two that started it, i know it was my enstrange sister, but you kinda had a part in it, and i hope you werren't talking about me, cause i was trying to stop the fight


----------



## Brand New (Jun 19, 2007)

Continue your fic, don't sell out for what other people want.


----------



## Vance (Jun 19, 2007)

Kisara, we made a truce before you came in and ruined the peace with you and your mentally challenge sister (all due respect )

  Adding to that, you sided with the person you know, without even knowing the matter at hand. Hakanami even stated it *himself* that naruto fan gurl101 restarted this fight.

  Since you have *no* say in this arguement, I suggest you *leave* before *I* have to *neg* you again, and leave you in *red*. Okay?


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 19, 2007)

this story still sucks eggs.


----------



## Vance (Jun 19, 2007)

I can't believe you were CANNONMAN in the Nasty Fanfic. 

  You and I had quite a hateful history, lol.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 19, 2007)

Yeah i use to be hated every where.


----------



## Vance (Jun 19, 2007)

Lol, but now everyone luves you!


----------



## Brand New (Jun 19, 2007)

Vance said:


> Kisara, we made a truce before you came in and ruined the peace with you and your mentally challenge sister (all due respect )
> 
> Adding to that, you sided with the person you know, without even knowing the matter at hand. Hakanami even stated it *himself* that naruto fan gurl101 restarted this fight.
> 
> Since you have *no* say in this arguement, I suggest you *leave* before *I* have to *neg* you again, and leave you in *red*. Okay?



Ahhh....you make me laugh.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 20, 2007)

..............................................................................


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

HyugaNinja is spamming her own fic? :amazed


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 20, 2007)

NO, I just paused, I'm not spamming


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 20, 2007)

this should be discontinued.


----------



## Furious George (Jun 20, 2007)

*HyugaNinja*: continue the fic. I will help you with it. Ignore the fighting. 

*Weezy, Vance, Kisara, and the rest of the people causing trouble*: I don't have anything against any of you (some of you were even kind enough to rep me for my fics, and for that I am most grateful ), but seriously, enough is enough. This whole "I will neg you if you don't agree with me" and "lol this fic sucks lol" bullshit is getting kind of old. I know most of you are less then 14 (as though it wasn't apparent by these mentally challenged 'text fights' of yours), but right now you are acting like a bunch of 6 year olds who get on their parents computer while they sleep. Hakanami and others have constantly warned you about these silly fights, and yet you keep getting into them. Are you REALLY not mature enough to just let certian things go and stop fighting? Do Hakanami and others have to constantly come in here and maintain peace? Vance, you in particular have shown me that you are a reasonably intelligent guy. So, try to listen to what I am saying without getting offended... I don't care who is 'responsible' for the fighting. Just stop it now. Same goes for you, Kisara. Weezy, we know you think the fic sucks... and it does need work, but we don't need you to say it every five seconds. 

Seriously, folks, this is not a nursery. We are not in the habit of changing diapers here, so if you must act like babies do it elsewhere. Stop the pointless flaming. Stop the useless critcism. Stop the spamming. Let HyugaNinja continue her fic.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 20, 2007)

me and vance gave her plenty of help. We told her she can send the chapters to us so we can tell her what needs help.But she continues to be a bitch


----------



## Furious George (Jun 20, 2007)

Weezy said:


> me and vance gave her plenty of help. We told her she can send the chapters to us so we can tell her what needs help.But she continues to be a bitch




Dude... lets be honest here. Do you really think telling someone their fic still 'sicks eggs' is helping them? There is nothing wrong with being harsh in your ctiricism (hell, I've been called a harsh critic plenty of times), but you should always do it in a helpful manner. If you come into someone's fic and say it sucks without any helpful tips for them, how do you expect them to react?

And if she doesn't want your help and continues to 'be a bitch', then guess what? *You let it go.* Be the bigger person. Just leave her alone and her fic alone... but what you don't do is constantly come into a fic thread and constantly tell her the fic sucks. This may be hard for you to believe, but telling someone their fic sucks doesn't make you any cooler, smarter, or better at writing fics.


----------



## Dogma (Jun 20, 2007)

Cyckness said:


> *HyugaNinja*: continue the fic. I will help you with it. Ignore the fighting.
> 
> *Weezy, Vance, Kisara, and the rest of the people causing trouble*: I don't have anything against any of you (some of you were even kind enough to rep me for my fics, and for that I am most grateful ), but seriously, enough is enough. This whole "I will neg you if you don't agree with me" and "lol this fic sucks lol" bullshit is getting kind of old. I know most of you are less then 14 (as though it wasn't apparent by these mentally challenged 'text fights' of yours), but right now you are acting like a bunch of 6 year olds who get on their parents computer while they sleep. Hakanami and others have constantly warned you about these silly fights, and yet you keep getting into them. Are you REALLY not mature enough to just let certian things go and stop fighting? Do Hakanami and others have to constantly come in here and maintain peace? Vance, you in particular have shown me that you are a reasonably intelligent guy. So, try to listen to what I am saying without getting offended... I don't care who is 'responsible' for the fighting. Just stop it now. Same goes for you, Kisara. Weezy, we know you think the fic sucks... and it does need work, but we don't need you to say it every five seconds.
> 
> Seriously, folks, this is not a nursery. We are not in the habit of changing diapers here, so if you must act like babies do it elsewhere. Stop the pointless flaming. Stop the useless critcism. Stop the spamming. Let HyugaNinja continue her fic.



That was said quite well. :amazed 



Weezy said:


> me and vance gave her plenty of help. We told her she can send the chapters to us so we can tell her what needs help.But she continues to be a bitch



Then I suppose there's nothing you can do about it. 

There's a difference between critcizing and just being a tyrant. Critics realise that the one who is being critizied doesn't always have to listen, though they ideally should, that goes beyond my point. There's nothing you can do "fairly" when someone doesn't want to listen to you. 

They've got the right to do what they want too, so though you can do all you can to help if they don't listen anymore then just realise you did all you could. It's particularily annoying, of that I won't lie, but it takes some time to realise that you can't help everyone. 

And if you ignore the truth behind that, then instead of helping. You just become a jackass in it's stead.

Edit: Cyckness, just said the same thing.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 20, 2007)

lol your post says "666".

thats a sign hakanami


----------



## Sasuke2263 (Jun 20, 2007)

I think Vance can be pretty nice when he wants to be but telling someone there fanfic sucks won't help tell her what individualy needs to be done.


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

Shut up Sasuke 


  We've been through this, get out!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 20, 2007)

*sighs* I'll continue to fic..BUT, if anything happens that I can't take, I'll stop it


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 20, 2007)

dojn't continue.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 20, 2007)

*Cahpter 12?*

Sakura pinned Karin to the ground. She aimed the kunai to her chest.

"Take back what you said!," she demanded

"Make me"

Sakura gritted her teeth. Karin smirked at her.

"Do what you want...kill me, go ahead...do it"

Sakura was abotu to jab the kunai into Karin, but Karin grabbed her wrist and turned her over. She pinned her to the ground.

"Heh, you weak little-"

"Shutup!"

"Make me!"

Sakura tried to break free, but Karins grip was way stonger than hers. 

"Hmph, Sasuke has a weak girlfriend...But guess what...HE'S DEAD"

Sakura looked up at Karin and diddnt even move. Tears steamed down her face. Karin laughed.

"Youre worthless"

Karin took out a kunai from her weapon pack and aimed it at Sakuras chest.

"Im doing Sasuke a favor...he diddnt even want you alive, he told me so"

Sakura struggled to break free, but Karin was to strong for her. 

"Prepare...to die!"

"Of really, Karin...and did you really think I was dead"

"Sasuke...Kun?"


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

Make it a threesome!


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 20, 2007)

Vance said:


> Make it a threesome!



lol, vance, that sounds funny when you think about it from the story. 

nice post hyuga ninja


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

I'll make a review, but DO NOT GET MAD BECAUSE IT WILL BE RUTHLESS.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 20, 2007)

*Gets Mad* BN SMASH!


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

Vance rapes!


----------



## Brand New (Jun 20, 2007)

Dame homie.....


Hinata, you need to work more on the typos, and the descriptions. Like when you said "Karin, did you really think I was dead". You could added. "As Karin lunged at Sakura a strange figure walked up to the tree". Then, added the dialogue.


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

Hi...Hinata?


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 20, 2007)

HyugaNinja said:


> Sakura pinned Karin to the ground. She aimed the kunai to her chest.
> 
> "Take back what you said!," she demanded
> 
> ...



all i see is talking.


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

WEEZY!


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 20, 2007)

Vance


----------



## wolf_gang101 (Jun 20, 2007)

TACOS


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 20, 2007)

NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

MEGAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE


crap crap crap crap crap, now the trios all here, man i'm done for, my taco loving/crazy/hyper reputation is all gonna go away and come to you

YOU HAVE RUINED ME

and i want a taco!!!!

great, i try to contain one sis, and the other starts to steal my tacos

what to do, what to do.

AHHHHH *light blub*

Mines better


----------



## Brand New (Jun 20, 2007)

Vance said:


> WEEZY!





Weezy said:


> Vance



Ahhh....you guys will make a great couple. xD


----------



## Dogma (Jun 20, 2007)

A troublesome duo, 

A trio with an apparent taco fetish,

And an non-assertive write who ironicly likes Hinata.

Does anyone else sense something odd here?


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

This would make a great Fanfiction...


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 20, 2007)

*gasp* It's only me and Wolf_Gang101 that loves tacos, Hakanami, what i was talking about when i said trio is first off, Wolf_gang101 is my younger sister, and is Naruto_fan_gurl101's twin sister. And @nd, the trio part was because in my story, My naruto O.C. story, the 3 main characters (Kisara Sen and Brandi) Are our three chracters, (Ya I bet you know who my character is) anywho, Naruto Fan Gurl101, absolutly hates tacos. So You have a taco fetish duo, and a person who i wish wasn't related to me because she is a crazy catlady/ someone who keeps tortureing me(Wolf_gang beside me agreed)


----------



## Vance (Jun 20, 2007)

You basically wrote one clump of text, wow.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 21, 2007)

Your right Vance that would make a great fan fic. Kisara,like tacos too lol


----------



## Vance (Jun 21, 2007)

Huh? ?


----------



## Dogma (Jun 21, 2007)

Kisara_Momochi said:


> *gasp* It's only me and Wolf_Gang101 that loves tacos, Hakanami, what i was talking about when i said trio is first off, Wolf_gang101 is my younger sister, and is Naruto_fan_gurl101's twin sister. And @nd, the trio part was because in my story, My naruto O.C. story, the 3 main characters (Kisara Sen and Brandi) Are our three chracters, (Ya I bet you know who my character is) anywho, Naruto Fan Gurl101, absolutly hates tacos. So You have a taco fetish duo, and a person who i wish wasn't related to me because she is a crazy catlady/ someone who keeps tortureing me(Wolf_gang beside me agreed)



Of about 30-40+ words. I understood maybe 5 of those.

Besides, Brandnew was the one I was talking about for the last part of the trio.



HyugaNinja said:


> Your wrote Vance that would make a great fan fic. Kisars...*I like tacos to lol*



They like tacos too so....

You know what, forget it. I don't see why in the world I'm talking about greasy mexican originated foods.


----------



## Vance (Jun 21, 2007)

So, next chapter up soon?


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 21, 2007)

hopefully not .


----------



## Vance (Jun 21, 2007)

I would like to see the end.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 21, 2007)

THANK YOU VANCE *grabs hair*


----------



## Vance (Jun 21, 2007)

Um, ow?


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 21, 2007)

*Chapter 13*

The figure was practicly hidden behind the tree leaves. 

"What! It can't be!," Karin gasped

"Get-off-of-her," the figure demanded.

Karin diddnt pay attention and clenched her hand on Sakura's neck. She coughed up blood as she gasped for air. As Kain was about to force the life otu of Sakura, she felt something cold and sharp up to her neck. It was a sword! Blood dripped down her neck. 

"Don't you dare kill her, Karin!," 

Sakura looked up and made a big smile. Her eyes twinkled. Sasuke was alive! He grabbed Karin backward by her shirt, forcing her to let go of Sakura's neck.
He pulled her up and jammed her into the trunk of a tree. He put the sword up to hert neck again, this time even harder. Sakura got up to her knees and coughed for blood and gasped for air. 

"Karin, if you ever touch her again, I'll break you in two like a toothpick!," growled Sasuke

Karin smirked. 

"Do you really think that YOU could say that to me"

"I can!"

"Hmph, you know...IM NOT THE REALL KARIN"

"WHAT"

In a cloud of smoke, a log appeared in Karins place. Sasuke looked around franticly for her. But, she was'nt there. He walked up to Sakura and ptu his arm around her.

"Are you okay, Sakura"

Sakura looked up at him. She had tears of joy in her eyes. 

"I...dont beleve your alive," she whispered, "But...how did you-"

"Its a long story," he said as he interupted her.

"Tell me"


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 21, 2007)

No, I ment grab hair as in just clench it...WOULD I EVER PULL MY HAIR OUT


----------



## Vance (Jun 21, 2007)

Many typos, and rather boring.


  Just stating the facts, but I am interested in your way of writing. Would you like to make a fanfic with me?


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 22, 2007)

...Um...ok. When, and do you know what the fan fic is gonna be


----------



## Vance (Jun 22, 2007)

Uh, how about the way Chihiro and my OC character kill the Akatsuki?


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 22, 2007)

I'm sorry hakanami, I didn't know who. anywho, i finally got my tacos that i wanted and i have them on my computers wallpaper *jumps for joy*


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 23, 2007)

...Youre that obbessed...lol (no offense or anyting Kisara...right)


----------



## Vance (Jun 23, 2007)

Enough with this taco bullshit, just be normal and stop being a goody-goody girly-girly brat, thank you.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 24, 2007)

No offense Kisara, but I kinda agree with Vance. Anyway, Vacne did you get my PM


----------



## Vance (Jun 24, 2007)

Yeah, in fact, the entire Fanfiction Society will be making a story with each of their OCs in it. If you want to join the story, join the Fanfiction Society, and begin posting there. I will give more info for the others.


  I am the leader, so all questions can be answered by me.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 24, 2007)

Tacos rule, though.

Hinata I don't feel like you've taking any of the advice anyones giving you. That is excluding the, "Stop writing" remarks.

So, whens the next chapter coming up?


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 25, 2007)

okay Vance


----------



## Vance (Jun 25, 2007)

Next chapter soon? I want to see what happens.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 25, 2007)

I already know what's going to happen. Sasuke's going to get laid......


----------



## Vance (Jun 25, 2007)

Let's hope...


----------



## Brand New (Jun 25, 2007)

He always gets laid.....=p


----------



## Vance (Jun 25, 2007)

Man, I have 1 and a half more days of school left, lolz.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 25, 2007)

...laid...what does that mean???


----------



## Vance (Jun 25, 2007)

Having SEX!


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 25, 2007)

...NO THEY DON'T


----------



## Vance (Jun 25, 2007)

Please.  


  *reps*


----------



## Brand New (Jun 27, 2007)

Sasuke won't only get laid, but will also have a threesome with karin. Damn, he's a player....>_>


----------



## Vance (Jun 27, 2007)

Not really, he's a ^ (not the meaning of the word "respect".).


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 28, 2007)

I'm not really the type of writer that can do that...sorry guys...but, how aobut a dramatic kissing scene lkke the ones that they kiss for a few minutes...plz


----------



## Vance (Jun 28, 2007)

Kissing, but Sasuke has to hug her passionately


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 29, 2007)

That too...Maybie it will be on a moonlit night...in a little pond...where a little crystal waterfall reflects thd moonlight (like Final Fantasy X)


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jun 29, 2007)

whos the guy who reps HyugaNinja?


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 29, 2007)

*Chapter 15*

Sasuke told Sakura what happened and how he survived.

"Well, I found myself in a dark nowhere," he explained," I heard a voice...It sounded very familiar but...it made me come back to life. I rose up and Orochimaru jumped up from his chair. I killed that bastard and Kabuto using chidori...cursed"

Sasuke went silent. Sakura tried to open her mouth to say something, but her concern of Sasuke using the curse mark (AGAIN) diddnt let her. Soon, she felt an urge to say something.

"Sasuke-Kun, I'm worried about-"

"Don't worry about me! I am okay, Sakura, thats all that matters"

Sakura, then realised that Sasuke was right and she diddnt have to worry about him any more. She smiled at him with a tear of happiness drippng down her cheek. 

"C'mon, lets go"

Sasuke helped Sakura up and led her through the trees. 

"Where are you taking me, Sasuke?"

"I'm taking you back...to the Leaf Village"

Sakura almost fanted by those words

"Wh-why?"

"Look, Its dangerous out here! I love you Sakura and I dont want you be in danger just because of me"

"Sasuke, I want to be with you forever"

"We can't be together...youre a kunoichi and I'm...no longer needed"

"Youre needed to me Sasuke, I'll help you clear your name"

Sakura had eyes of hope now and Sasuke looked down into them.

"No Sakura, its to late"


----------



## Vance (Jun 29, 2007)

I like it!


  ~I rep Hyuga from time to time... She's cool, I regret ever negging her, she's cool.


----------



## Brand New (Jun 30, 2007)

HyugaNinja said:


> Sasuke told Sakura what happened and how he survived.
> 
> "Well, I found myself in a dark nowhere," he explained," I heard a voice...It sounded very familiar but...it made me come back to life. I rose up and Orochimaru jumped up from his chair. I killed that bastard and Kabuto using chidori...cursed"
> 
> ...



I know what this is leading to.....giggity.


----------



## Vance (Jun 30, 2007)

Sasuke killed Orochimaru and Kabuto? Nope, not at all.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jun 30, 2007)

...what does giggity mean

Anyway Vance,
I just hope your not kidding on me like on my other fic. If you like I can make a flashback on Sasuke killing Orochimaru and Kabuto


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 1, 2007)

*Chapter 16*

Sakura started to have tears drip down her cheek. Sasuke diddtn seem to notice since he was to busy focusing on getting her back to the village. 

"SASUKE-KUN, PLEASE I-"

"No, you can't make me now...it's too late"

"But...I'll help you clear youre name and we can-"

"Sakura, dont you understand? We cannot be together...NEVER"

Sakura slapped Sasukes hand away. 

"I won't let you go away from me again"

Sakura started to cry as she slowly kneeled down on the ground.

"Please...Please stay by my side," she cried

"Sakura"

Sakura looked up at Sasuke. She slowly got up and looked up at him. Sasuke put his arms around her. Sakura did the same. Sasuke and Sakura kissed each other as they hugged passionally. But little did they know, that somebody was nearby.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 5, 2007)

helllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, where r those people


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 8, 2007)

*Chapter 17*

Sasuke and Sakura kissed for a while (like around 5-10 minutes). When they stopped, they looked at each other softly. Sasuke turned away. 

"Sasuke?"

"We can't be together, Sakura"

Sakura felt that she was gonna cry. She closed hr eyes and kneeled to the ground. Her head was on her knees and was crying. She heard Sasuke's footsteps getting fainter and fainter. She looked up and Sasuke dissapeared in the trees. 

"Sakura-Chan"

The voice startled Sakura as she turned to see Naruto, comming out of the bushes. He helped her up. Sakura noticed furiness in Narutos face.

"WHY DID YOU PULL A TRICK ON ME"

Sakura was silent. 

"When I ask a question, I EXPECT AN ANSWER....AND WHY WERE YOU KISSING SASUKE"

"SHUTUP NARUTO"

Sakura, with her fury, hit Naruto in the face. He put his hand on his cheek. 

"Just shutup...leave me alone...and keep youreself out of my buisness"

Sakura pushed Naruto out of her way and walked toward the Leaf Village.


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Jul 10, 2007)

The last chaper sucked so bad.


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 11, 2007)

whatever, if I dont see replys in the next couple of days, Im ending th fic


----------



## Sasuke2263 (Jul 17, 2007)

HyugaNinja you totally need to continue this fanfic it could use a bit of help on saying words a different way but the main point of this story is awsome! Plus, the way he says they cant be together is sooooo romantic. you are so much better than me if you want, ask Vance he'll tell you I suck!haha! I'll be looking for an update soon........


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 17, 2007)

YAY A NEW PERSON


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 17, 2007)

*Chapter 18*

Meanwhile, in the Akatsuki hideout, Itachi seemed to have heard what happened with Sasuke and Sakura. 

"Itachi-San, whats are you thinking," Kisame asked as hye noticed his face was his "in thought" face. 

"Oh, you havent heard? My brother found a girlfreind and they can't be together," Itachi answered

"Awwwwwwwww, how cute...I HATE LOVE"

Kisame swung his shark skin sword into the wall, making Hidan run oit of his room.

"Dude, I can't pray with you playing with your sword!," he snapped

"MAKE ME"

Itachi appeared in the middle of them. 

"Mangekyou Sharingan"

Kisame and Hidan both screamed as they held onto their heads and fell to the ground passed out.

"Heh, that made them shutup"

At that moment, Itachi had an idea pop into his head.

"Hmmm, that just might work"
**********************************************************
As Sasuke walked through the forest, he thought of Sakura and him just leaving her. He turned his head. After a moment of silence he looked up. 

"I'm going back!"


----------



## explosick (Jul 17, 2007)

"Awwwwwwwww, how cute...I HATE LOVE"  Best part xD


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 17, 2007)

I know, I wanted to make that part funny with all that drama goin on


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 21, 2007)

*Chapter 19*

That morning, Sakura walked thorught the quiet and serene streets of the Leaf Village. The sounds of morning seemed to calm her a little..but yet, she was still sad. 

"Why...why did Sasuke have to leave!," she cried

She sat on a bench nearby and started to cry. But soon after she felt someone was standing right in from of her. SHe looked up.

"SASUKE KUN!"

But, it was'nt Sasuke...IT WAS ITACHI. Sakura shivered.

"Awww...why does such a little girl sit out here all alone?," Itachi asked.

Sakura diddnt answer. Instead, she gabbed a kunai and aimed for Itachi's neck. Itachi laughed

"Do you really think THAT would work on me?!" 

Itachi, with one hit, knocked the kunai out of Sakuras hand and grabbed her wrists. 

"Your comming with me"

Sakura struggled to break free. 

"Ngh, LET ME GO!," she screamed

"Alright"

Itachi let go a Sakuras wrists. Sakura became very confused. 

"What?"

"MANGEYOU SHARINGAN"

At that moment, Sakura fell passed otu and Itachi caught her.

"Hmph...pitiful"


----------



## Hikari-sama (Jul 21, 2007)

Eeeeyah! The suspense!
What is that pervy Itachi plotting?!
I like this story!

You need to work a bit on your punctuation.
I would feel bad about criticising any more than that, I'm not that great a writer.


----------



## Vance (Jul 21, 2007)

Who the fucked negged me here?


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 22, 2007)

...I don't remember anyone negging you Vance. Because I didd'nt! I'm not the type of person to do that


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Jul 22, 2007)

hiya hyuganinja, sorry i haven't been here, i really haven't been online, but i got caught up on the story, and i like it, please hurry and have more


----------



## Chihiro_Uchiha (Jul 22, 2007)

GLAD TO HAVE U BACK KISARA! UPTATE SOON =)


----------



## Star Light (Feb 18, 2008)

I loved your story i hope theres more, PLZ!!!!


----------

