# The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)



## PainDawkins (Mar 9, 2009)

Anyone here ever seen or heard of this movie?

[YOUTUBE]-w_YZa_ooZ4[/YOUTUBE]

The quotes in this movie are epic beyond all proportions, it is a _must_ see

Does anyone have any links to parts of this movie?


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## PainDawkins (Mar 9, 2009)

Some epic quotes:

Caiaphas: Jesus of Nazareth, your crimes are so many I scarcely know where to begin. 

--

Soldier: We have orders to bring you to Herod, Baptist. 
John the Baptist: I have orders to bring you to God... heathen.

--

John the Baptist: Are you going to free me? 
Herod Antipas: I am going to kill you. 
John the Baptist: Then you free me! 
Herod Antipas: [walking away] I hope so.

--

John the Baptist: Just like you took your brothers wife.
Herod Antipas: You will die for that!
John the Baptist: And you wil burn in Hell for that!
Herod Antipas: Guards! Take him away!
John the Baptist: [struggling against guards] "HEROD! KING HEROD!!!
Herod Antipas: [pauses] ...?
John the Baptist: I PITY YOU

--

Peter: Who's there? 
James the Younger: [behind the door] Me. 
Peter: [angrily opening the door] What's wrong with you? When I ask "Who's there", why do you answer "Me"? 
James the Younger: It WAS me, Peter. 

--

James the Younger: What is your name? 
Jesus: Jesus 
James the Younger: [excitedly] That is a good name! 
Jesus: [smiling] Thank you.

--

The Centurion: Truly, this man was the son of God.


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## Chee (Mar 9, 2009)

Is this a Jesus movie?


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## PainDawkins (Mar 9, 2009)

Chee said:


> Is this a Jesus movie?



Not just a Jesus movie, this is "The Greatest Story Ever Told"

Watch the trailer or try this link if it doesn't work hit me with your best shot


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## Chee (Mar 9, 2009)

Eeew, no way in hell am I watching that.


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## PainDawkins (Mar 9, 2009)

Chee said:


> Eeew, no way in hell am I watching that.



Check out the quotes man, this is far too epic to pass up:



PainDawkins said:


> Some epic quotes:
> 
> Caiaphas: Jesus of Nazareth, your crimes are so many I scarcely know where to begin.
> 
> ...


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## Chee (Mar 9, 2009)

Not that amazing.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 9, 2009)

I'm actually not a big fan of Jesus movies(and I'm a Christian!). I mean

1) They're predictable(lol, duh).
2) They're annoying alike.
3) Bland Jesus's. Come on, whether you're a hardcore Christian or hardcore Atheist, for somebody to win over so many people, he had to have some sort of personality. Most film jesus's just blissfully walk through their lines.

Sure, I've liked a few(when someone like Scorsase or Gibson do it), but I usually forget about the rest. 

Eventually I'd like to write a Jesus movie, but take a more secular approach to the material. Is he really the messiah? Son of God? Etc? My intent is to leave that up to the viewer. But that's not on my "to do anytime soon" list.


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## PainDawkins (Mar 10, 2009)

Chee said:


> Not that amazing.



Are you kidding me? Those quotes are pure gold! 



MartialHorror said:


> I'm actually not a big fan of Jesus movies(and I'm a Christian!). I mean
> 
> 1) They're predictable(lol, duh).
> 2) They're annoying alike.
> ...



I see, good luck with that.

Have you seen this one?


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## Chee (Mar 10, 2009)

Jesus bores me. His beard is the only cool thing about him. He should have a mohawk.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2009)

Chee said:


> Jesus bores me. His beard is the only cool thing about him. He should have a mohawk.



lol, in the actual Bible, it never says what he looks like. He was probably much darker than most movies have him, probably had a beard......long hair? Who knows. Although Paul says something that made me presume that wasn't the case.....something bad about people with long hair.

So if I were to ever make a Jesus movie, he'd be played by...............Samuel Jackson.


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## Chee (Mar 10, 2009)

Dude. Heath Ledger. Jesus. Yes.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2009)

Heath Ledger is white and can't say: "Yeah, I'm the motherfucking messiah friend!"

Or

"I want these motherfucking sinners out of this motherfucking Church"


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## Grape (Mar 10, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> So if I were to ever make a Jesus movie, he'd be played by...............Samuel Jackson.



If *you* were ever to make a Jesus movie, it would turn into a slasher film.


Jesus dons a emotionless white mask and slowly but surely stalks and then kills the Jews responsible for his death.


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## PainDawkins (Mar 10, 2009)

Chee said:


> Dude. Heath Ledger. Jesus. Yes.



He'd rise from the dead just to play him 



MartialHorror said:


> Heath Ledger is white and can't say: "Yeah, I'm the motherfucking messiah friend!"
> 
> Or
> 
> "I want these motherfucking sinners out of this motherfucking Church"



 Jesus, mah man!


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## Chee (Mar 10, 2009)

I can imagine it now:

The Bible from _Hell_
Written by: MartialHorror


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2009)

Grape Krush said:


> If *you* were ever to make a Jesus movie, it would turn into a slasher film.
> 
> 
> Jesus dons a emotionless white mask and slowly but surely stalks and then kills the Jews responsible for his death.



lol, no, that would be blasphemus. I do have plenty of movies I intend to do that aren't horror/slasher/thrillers......there is just few of them.


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 10, 2009)

This is a movie for bigots.



I think I saw it when I was a kid. I rated it two and half thumbs up.


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## Stalin (Mar 10, 2009)

Actaully, I think the last temptation of christ sounds interesting. From I've heard, it made jesus more human.


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## Even (Mar 11, 2009)

if it's "the Passion of the Christ" you're talking about, it's really good. I really liked it  Might be cause I'm a Christian though  Non-believers seem to like the movie less... Also, some conservative Christians don't like it either, since Jesus is brutally tortured during the film...


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## MartialHorror (Mar 11, 2009)

"Last Temptation of Christ" isn't "The passion of Christ".

Most Christians were pissed at it because it has a quick sex scene involving Jesus and Mary M. Of course, they forget that it's just a vision from Satan and the Bible says "Satan tempted Jesus", which means Jesus was tempted.....you know, it's amusing how hardcore Christians bitch about sex and violence in movies....while the Bible has lots of both.


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## Even (Mar 11, 2009)

my bad then  

I never really got the fuzz about sexuality and stuff in media... But then again, American Conservative Christians are kinda loony


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