# A single Catachan Barking Toad vs. Konoha



## Endless Mike (Nov 2, 2009)

I just had this idea randomly.


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## Yōkai (Nov 2, 2009)

Narutoverse wins via Susano, that always works 


*has no freakin idea what a Catachan Barking Toad can do*


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## Onomatopoeia (Nov 2, 2009)

> The Great Barking Toad (Catachanus bufo moribundus) of the Death World of Catachan is considered the most poisonous creature in the entire galaxy; fortunately, is it extremely rare. When threatened, it emits a cloud of toxins that kills all life within a kilometer, including the Barking Toad itself. The poison is so virulent it can penetrate even power armour.


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## ScreenXSurfer (Nov 2, 2009)

Rofl. Mook ninja bumps into it, a large portion of Konoha is atomized.


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## Darklyre (Nov 3, 2009)

Yōkai said:


> Narutoverse wins via Susano, that always works
> 
> 
> *has no freakin idea what a Catachan Barking Toad can do*



When a Catachan Barking Toad goes off it's like a miniature virus bomb. Everything within the explosive radius is literally turned to lifeless mud. Nothing will grow there for years, if not decades.

You know how Shinra Tensei turned Konoha into rubble? A Barking Toad is _worse_. It would melt every single thing within the explosive radius into sludge, including metal, stone, people, etc. There wouldn't even be any rubble left, just grey-colored, poisonous mud.

Temari wouldn't be able to do shit. This thing explodes like a nuke.

All those medic ninjas? They wouldn't be able to do a damned thing about the poison. Barking Toads are considered more poisonous than _Nurgle plagues_, and those can _raise the dead_.


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## Lina Inverse (Nov 3, 2009)

I'm going with the one that can fartbomb an entire kilometer and kill ppl with it :amazed


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## Endless Mike (Nov 3, 2009)

Although technically I suppose it would be a tie


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## skiboydoggy (Nov 3, 2009)

Endless Mike said:


> Although technically I suppose it would be a tie


Make it a single Catachan Barking Toad and Mr Immortal and this would be amusing.


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## Lina Inverse (Nov 3, 2009)

Well true...said frog would also die.

It just kills everything within a kilometer radius


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## Watchman (Nov 3, 2009)

Draw. Everything dies.


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## Deleted member 45015 (Nov 3, 2009)

LOL

I'm thinking of the Lesser Catachan Barking Toad which, whilst dangerous, is possible to defeat with care and proper means.

As it stands Konoha is wiped off the map.


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## icemaster143 (Nov 3, 2009)

Well they could genjutsu the thing I think. 

But what would they do with it afterwards? Seal it maybe?


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## Emperor Joker (Nov 3, 2009)

The toad gets picked up by Lee in an attempt to make another animal friend, The Toad not liking this goes off and nukes everything in the area. 

match ends in a tie.


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## Platinum (Nov 3, 2009)

.

Match is a tie.

Unless Naruto gets a frog to summon him to the mountain before the frog kills everything. Then it's a slim victory .


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## Glued (Nov 3, 2009)

Gai moves at 300 Kilometers an hour.

300km/60min = 5km a minute.

5km/60sec = .083333333 Km a second.

However, Gai's body can ignite into flames due to friction once it breaks into 6 gates.

If Gai breaks into 6 gates, he might be able to grab toad and take it out of Konoha before it explodes.

If he can move more than 1Km in a sec


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## Hadesama (Nov 3, 2009)

Kakashi transports it into another dimension with Kamui


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## C. Hook (Nov 3, 2009)

Hadesama said:


> Kakashi transports it into another dimension with Kamui



LOL.

I wonder how they will feel about Konoha getting destroyed a second time?


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## Emperor Joker (Nov 3, 2009)

Hadesama said:


> Kakashi transports it into another dimension with Kamui



Doesn't Kamui need charge time?


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## Glued (Nov 3, 2009)

Second, remember the Kyuubi attack, then of course the Madara and Kyuubi invasion. Then of course there was Oro invasion.


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## Shock Therapy (Nov 3, 2009)

konoha is the center of buttfucking by other people


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## skiboydoggy (Nov 3, 2009)

rawrawraw said:


> konoha is the center of buttfucking by other people


Just like in the OBD.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Nov 3, 2009)

How large is Konoha?


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## Onomatopoeia (Nov 3, 2009)

*random assumption with nothing to back it up other than my imagination*

The size of Lower Manhattan.

 stated to be something only six paths sage power can accomplish


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## Darklyre (Nov 3, 2009)

Hadesama said:


> Kakashi transports it into another dimension with Kamui



Kakashi is hilariously inaccurate, and he has to be somewhat close to hit it.

A barking toad only needs to feel slightly threatened to blow itself up. It doesn't require actual harm.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Nov 3, 2009)

Onomatopoeia said:


> *random assumption with nothing to back it up other than my imagination*
> 
> The size of Lower Manhattan.
> 
> stated to be something only six paths sage power can accomplish



Well since that's more than a kilometer the village will still be there, so it wins?


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## Platinum (Nov 4, 2009)

Darklyre said:


> Kakashi is hilariously inaccurate, and he has to be somewhat close to hit it.
> 
> A barking toad only needs to feel slightly threatened to blow itself up. It doesn't require actual harm.



To be fair. Kakashi can now tag missiles with Kamui.


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## Darklyre (Nov 4, 2009)

Most hilarious crossover ever:

Naruto accidentally makes a contract with _barking_ toads instead of the regular ones.

Can you imagine the damage a Gamabunta-sized barking toad could do?


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## Whip Whirlwind (Nov 4, 2009)

Darklyre said:


> Most hilarious crossover ever:
> 
> Naruto accidentally makes a contract with _barking_ toads instead of the regular ones.
> 
> Can you imagine the damage a Gamabunta-sized barking toad could do?





Gamabunta sized barking toad would solo the naruverse...and beyond.


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## Itachi2000 (Nov 4, 2009)

Barking Toad nuff said


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## Lucaniel (Nov 4, 2009)

So WH40K has gag species like Discworld?

I thought it was all serious business.


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## Watchman (Nov 4, 2009)

Lucaniel said:


> So WH40K has gag species like Discworld?
> 
> I thought it was all serious business.



You've clearly never come across 'da Orkz, or CIAPHAS CAIN; HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, then.


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## Gigantor (Nov 4, 2009)

How the fuck do those things live out their lives?


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## Quelsatron (Nov 4, 2009)

Lucaniel said:


> So WH40K has gag species like Discworld?
> 
> I thought it was all serious business.



You mean aside from the killer locust dinosaurs, psychic space elves, killer zombie robots and ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS?


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## Quelsatron (Nov 4, 2009)

Gigantor said:


> How the fuck do those things live out their lives?



Presumably by frightening the rest of the ecosystem into submission, just like real spcies of poisonous toad


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## Darklyre (Nov 4, 2009)

Gigantor said:


> How the fuck do those things live out their lives?



There are only two types of locations on Catachan that aren't populated by ridiculously deadly animals.

The first is the lair of a Catachan Devil.

The second is anywhere a Barking Toad is living.

Catachan Devils are big enough to EAT a Leman Russ tank, and even THEY avoid Barking Toad habitats.

There's a short story about Lorenzo trying to survive in the jungle by himself as a test to get into the Catachan Jungle Fighters. He's on the run from a Catachan Devil, and suddenly bursts into a quiet, safe area.

He gets even MORE scared than he was while running from the Devil, because he knows that he just walked into the only spot every other animal will avoid: a Barking Toad habitat.


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 4, 2009)

Are we under the assumption that either 1) Konoha is less than a kilometer and 2) the frog is in the center of Konoha?

Unless both conditions are true, or Konoha is even less than a kilometer and the Toad is coming from the side, Konoha will win this since the Toad kills itself.

Gimme a fuckin' break.


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## Darklyre (Nov 4, 2009)

The description of the toad is a bit misleading. It doesn't have a LIMIT of 1 kilometer radius. It's most effective kill-zone is 2 kilometers in diameter, where everything inside melts into sludge, outside of that, organic materials will still die immediately and turn into goo. Plus, because it's an airborne toxin, any winds in the area will serve to spread it around. You're looking at something along the lines of 3-4 kilometers in diameter for a total spread, depending on winds.

If the toad's in the middle, Konoha's screwed. The slightest hint of danger and it'll explode. If the toad's coming from the side, Konoha can stand a chance if it sets off the toad before it comes too far inside. The only alternatives are to completely clear the toad's path until it hops out of Konoha or to have Kakashi use Kamui.

Of course, Konoha has no knowledge of the toad's abilities, so some random genin's gonna set the thing off and wipe half of Konoha out in the initial blast, leaving the rest to die of an Exterminatus-level organic attack.


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## Whip Whirlwind (Nov 4, 2009)

Ha i love the idea of a self destructing toad, and the idea of an entire ecosystem of mad deadly creatures coming to a consensus of "don't fuck with that toad".


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 4, 2009)

Sakura or Tsunade could cure it in under 40 minutes with the right ingredients.

Also, Konoha would have a few survivors out on missions and the like resulting in their winning.

On top of that, Tsunade can heal herself if she gets infected with Genesis Rebirth and therefore win.

On top of that, Gai and Lee could just outrun the death.

On top of that, Neji could Kaiten it away. 

On top of that, Naruto could reverse-summon himself into the Toad Mountain place.


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## Quelsatron (Nov 4, 2009)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Sakura or Tsunade could cure it in under 40 minutes with the right ingredients.
> 
> Also, Konoha would have a few survivors out on missions and the like resulting in their winning.
> 
> ...



You best be trollin' son

Seriously, did you even _read_ what Darklyre posted?


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 4, 2009)

Quelsatron said:


> You best be trollin' son
> 
> Seriously, did you even _read_ what Darklyre posted?


 I posted that as a refute to what he said, so of course I did. Rebuttals?


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## Quelsatron (Nov 4, 2009)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I posted that as a refute to what he said, so of course I did. Rebuttals?


Comin' right up


CrazyMoronX said:


> Sakura or Tsunade could cure it in under 40 minutes with the right ingredients.


In 40 minutes they'd be dead several times over
Also, I doubt that Tsunade and Sakura with 40 minutes will fare very good againt _the_ most virulent poison in the entire galaxy, a galaxy that hosts the god of plagues.


> Also, Konoha would have a few survivors out on missions and the like resulting in their winning.


True, though I'm not sure that this would be the case in a versus thread



> On top of that, Tsunade can heal herself if she gets infected with Genesis Rebirth and therefore win.


No, she really can't. This is not as much an infection as it is complete annihilation of any matter unlucky enough to be in the blast radius


> On top of that, Gai and Lee could just outrun the death.


Maybe.


> On top of that, Neji could Kaiten it away.


If he has the oppurtunity to react and is able to keep it up long enough that the poison will dissapate


> On top of that, Naruto could reverse-summon himself into the Toad Mountain place.


As said, if he has the time to react to the virulent shockwave(I'm not certain how fast the blast moves though)


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## Darklyre (Nov 4, 2009)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Sakura or Tsunade could cure it in under 40 minutes with the right ingredients.
> 
> Also, Konoha would have a few survivors out on missions and the like resulting in their winning.
> 
> ...



40 minutes? HAHAHAHAHAHA. You'd have nothing but melted sludge by then. This thing is a killer even on power-armored Space Marines. We're talking "melt their armor off in 10 seconds and then melt their bodies into goo in another 5." When the virus bombs were set off on the Death Guard ship during the Heresy, the Marines literally melted in place. When the Death Guard were assaulted by Typhus' Destroyer Hive their armor was corroding before their eyes and their bodies were being hit by every single illness known to man and a few unknown. Barking toad toxin is _stronger_.

Tsunade couldn't heal herself from being melted nigh-instantaneously even with Genesis Rebirth, much less heal anyone else.

Plus, no one in 40k has EVER cured themselves of barking toad poison. There are ways to fight magical Nurgle plagues that can zombify people. There are ways to slow down the Life-Eater virus that can literally turn an entire planet into an organic soup. It is possible to stop the various diseases that Tyranids can throw out with their venom and beetles. Catachan Barking Toads? _Stronger_. There is literally nothing in 40k that has been shown to stop it. A single Lesser Barking Toad has melted the carapace right off of a Catachan Devil, and that thing is armored, strong, and large enough to DEVOUR TANKS WHOLE.

Neji can Kaiten it away...until he gets exhausted and the toxins still in the air fuck him up. Gai and Lee wouldn't know which way to run because the toxins are airborne, and that's assuming they can outrun an explosion.

All of this is assuming they KNOW what the toad can do, and that is not a condition in the OP. Konoha is completely blind to the danger.

The only way Konoha survives is if the toad's explosion doesn't remove the city center, the ruling council and Hokage are away from the explosion, or if enough people can get out via summoning (so far, only Naruto).


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 4, 2009)

I suppose. But Warhammer 40k didn't have Sakura and Tsunade.  Sakura cured a poison that was dubbed incurable in a matter of seconds and Tsunade is 100x better.

That's neither here nor their though. 

Assuming the toxins can be blown away by winds then a few of the Jounin could just use Fuutons and blow it away.  As long as someone in Konoha survives the blast and the toxins they win. And at least 1 person will survive.


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## Darklyre (Nov 4, 2009)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I suppose. But Warhammer 40k didn't have Sakura and Tsunade.  Sakura cured a poison that was dubbed incurable in a matter of seconds and Tsunade is 100x better.
> 
> That's neither here nor their though.
> 
> Assuming the toxins can be blown away by winds then a few of the Jounin could just use Fuutons and blow it away.  As long as someone in Konoha survives the blast and the toxins they win. And at least 1 person will survive.



This is not "people of Konoha" vs. a toad, it's "Konoha" as in the city itself. That means that if the majority of the city is wasted, it's a loss.

And 40K has MAGIC healers that can prevent Chaos taint, remove Genestealer infestations, and nullify the physical rot of being a daemonhost. They can't do SHIT on a Barking Toad's poison. The Barking Toad's poison doesn't give you TIME to heal, it melts things on contact. Hell, it'll melt power armor on contact, and that stuff can withstand white-hot flamethrowers capable of melting steel. It'll go right through a human being in under a second. The Life-Eater virus is capable of spreading over an entire planet's atmosphere within minutes and can eat through all organic material it finds in under an hour. Barking Toad poison is FASTER.


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## Lucifeller (Nov 4, 2009)

The amazing thing is that Catachan is a jungle planet. Especially since Barking Toads are literally scared of most everything that moves. IIRC; even a tree rustling too hard could cause one to go off - which means it's a good thing the jungle on Catachan is so thick, as it keeps the leaves from being too noisy and the toads from glassing the planet out of fright.

Hell, even Orks avoid messing with Barking Toads, and Orks are genetically incapable of being afraid.


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## Emperor Joker (Nov 4, 2009)

which 40k books do these things appear in by the way.


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## Sazabi24 (Nov 4, 2009)

GEoM vs. a planet full of Catachan Barking toads?


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## Darklyre (Nov 4, 2009)

Emperor Joker said:


> which 40k books do these things appear in by the way.



There's a short story featuring Lorenzo, the protagonist of Death World, before he joins the Catachan Jungle Fighters. He's basically on a survival run in the jungle, and runs into a Lesser Barking Toad, and _freaks the fuck out_.


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## Shock Therapy (Nov 4, 2009)

I've never even read about these toads. Links to these books NAO


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## Endless Mike (Nov 5, 2009)

I nominate this as a soon-to-be classic thread


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## Onomatopoeia (Nov 5, 2009)

Second. fghfgsdfdsfasdf


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## Agmaster (Nov 5, 2009)

Shinra Tensei, blows the cloud away.  I mean seriously how is this a fight? You're putting a living bomb vs a village.  Ur dur who the fuck do you think wins.  It's a suicide bomber no less.  Oh shocker, it damages a town.  WH40K so awesome, it's suicide bombs can ...blow up villages.  

Wind spammage?  Just any amount of info before the oversized (I assume its a giant frog) thing is inside this town with ninja magic made sensory/barriers and they'll be fine.  But oh wait ur dur hur they will just send their people in forehead protector first.


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## Endless Mike (Nov 5, 2009)

Wind won't do shit.... this has already been explained. Not that anyone in Konoha even can use Shinra Tensei, or actually 50% of the techniques mentioned in this thread.


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## Crimson Dragoon (Nov 5, 2009)

Endless Mike said:


> I nominate this as a soon-to-be classic thread



Second only to Hyper Kabuto vs Jenny XJ9

Also stop whining Agmaster


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## Fang (Nov 5, 2009)

Hyper Kabuto with Barking Toad vs Bleach.

How does this go.


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## Crimson Dragoon (Nov 5, 2009)

Hyper Kabuto pokes the toad 

He goes HYPER CLOCK UP, flies above, then HYPER CLOCK OVER and watches the fireworks


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## Fang (Nov 5, 2009)

I was thinking more of Hyper Clock Up, reversing time, and repeating it in Soul Society and Hecudo Mundo for lolz.


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## Darklyre (Nov 5, 2009)

Agmaster said:


> Shinra Tensei, blows the cloud away.  I mean seriously how is this a fight? You're putting a living bomb vs a village.  Ur dur who the fuck do you think wins.  It's a suicide bomber no less.  Oh shocker, it damages a town.  WH40K so awesome, it's suicide bombs can ...blow up villages.
> 
> Wind spammage?  Just any amount of info before the oversized (I assume its a giant frog) thing is inside this town with ninja magic made sensory/barriers and they'll be fine.  But oh wait ur dur hur they will just send their people in forehead protector first.



First, the toad isn't giant. A lesser toad isn't any bigger than a normal toad, while a greater toad is barely the size of a large dog. This is not a case of "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A SUMMON IN THE MIDDLE OF KONOHA" but rather "the hell's this thing doing here *pokeBOOM*."

Shinra Tensei wouldn't do SHIT. This thing explodes hard enough to do physical damage with the explosion itself. The toxin is just extra. Unless you can pull off a Shinra Tensei the instant before it blows, you're fucked. Plus, this is Konoha, so what the fuck is Shinra Tensei doing here?

And barriers? The first thing Konoha ever does with intruders is send ANBU, and we all know how THEY handle dangerous situations...

Next, wind jutsus don't help. This is an airborne toxin, yes, but the initial blast still means it soaks into the area. It gets into any water supplies it hits. Wind jutsus only moves the toxin to another area (contaminating it completely), and doesn't remove the toxin entirely, which is what you need to neutralize it.


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## icemaster143 (Nov 5, 2009)

If Konoha has info on the frog they win with ease. Kakashi's Kumi or any genjutsu to put the thing to sleep so the can dispose of it. This frog really is no problem if they are prepared.

Without prep I doubt anyone could really beat this thing all things considered.


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## Lucaniel (Nov 5, 2009)

This would be an even-more-classic thread with Fuujin or the like around.


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## Shock Therapy (Nov 5, 2009)

fuujin's kyuubi solos


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## Sazabi24 (Nov 5, 2009)

rawrawraw said:


> fuujin's kyuubi solos



Kyuubi isn't affiliated with Konoha, if Naruto dies, the kyuubi dies too


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## Shock Therapy (Nov 5, 2009)

sazabi24 said:


> Kyuubi isn't affiliated with Konoha, if Naruto dies, the kyuubi dies too



stupid incompetent naruto


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## Emperor Joker (Nov 5, 2009)

Agmaster said:


> Shinra Tensei, blows the cloud away.  I mean seriously how is this a fight? You're putting a living bomb vs a village.  Ur dur who the fuck do you think wins.  It's a suicide bomber no less.  Oh shocker, it damages a town.  WH40K so awesome, it's suicide bombs can ...blow up villages.
> 
> Wind spammage?  Just any amount of info before the oversized (I assume its a giant frog) thing is inside this town with ninja magic made sensory/barriers and they'll be fine.  But oh wait ur dur hur they will just send their people in forehead protector first.



Pein isn't even affiliated with Konoha so Shinra Tensei isn't going to happen


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## AeroNin (Nov 5, 2009)

lawl

someone put this one the wiki


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## Agmaster (Nov 6, 2009)

Darklyre said:


> First, the toad isn't giant. A lesser toad isn't any bigger than a normal toad, while a greater toad is barely the size of a large dog. This is not a case of "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A SUMMON IN THE MIDDLE OF KONOHA" but rather "the hell's this thing doing here *pokeBOOM*."
> 
> Shinra Tensei wouldn't do SHIT. This thing explodes hard enough to do physical damage with the explosion itself. The toxin is just extra. Unless you can pull off a Shinra Tensei the instant before it blows, you're fucked. Plus, this is Konoha, so what the fuck is Shinra Tensei doing here?
> 
> ...


Oh hey look, someone actually explaining why my counter ideas would not work.  Instead of going 'urr dur hurr baw baw'  THANK you.


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## Darklyre (Nov 6, 2009)

Agmaster said:


> Oh hey look, someone actually explaining why my counter ideas would not work.  Instead of going 'urr dur hurr baw baw'  THANK you.



I thought I'd already commented on a few of them in another post. 

Oh well. Don't mind my acerbic tone. I'm a natural jackass.


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## madcow3005 (Nov 6, 2009)

Does the toad automatically explode upon death, or or does it have to consciously trigger the explosion?

If it has to consciously trigger the blast, then a fast enough fatal attack would make it so that the toad doesn't explode. 

Ino could also mind-transfer herself into the toad. She's shown the ability to mind-transfer into animals before.

If the toad steps into a shadow, Shikamaru could bind it, and then stab it through the brain with his Shadow Needle.

Kakashi's Kamui can tag missiles and Deidara's suicide bushin. He can certainly tag a toad that doesn't move fast.

Gai in 6 Gates might be able to kick the toad fast enough to send it a far distance before it explodes. 

What does fire do to the toxin? Anything? What about water? Ninja can summon huge waves of water, so they might be able to wash away a significant portion of the toxin in the air.

Fuuton jutsu could reduce the spread of the toxin by blowing it in a direction away from Konoha. Combine this with the aforementioned water jutsu, and you might save a large part of the village.

Many jounin can release chakra from their bodies in such a way that they create wind, blowing away the toxin. Kakashi showcased this ability in the Wave Arc, and he doesn't even know any legitimate Fuuton. The entire Hyuuga clan could probably do it better than he can.


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## Shirō Kazami (Nov 6, 2009)

madcow3005 said:


> Fuuton jutsu could reduce the spread of the toxin by blowing it in a direction away from Konoha. Combine this with the aforementioned water jutsu, and you might save a large part of the village.
> 
> Many jounin can release chakra from their bodies in such a way that they create wind, blowing away the toxin.



Oh wow. Somehow managing to get wind to blow it away BEFORE they get turned into goop.


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## madcow3005 (Nov 6, 2009)

Shirō Kazami said:


> Oh wow. Somehow managing to get wind to blow it away BEFORE they get turned into goop.



Yea, not hard when the toxin's release is signaled by a huge explosion.

Unless the toad appears in the middle of the village, then there wouldn't be a warning before the whole village is toasted.


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## Darklyre (Nov 6, 2009)

madcow3005 said:


> Does the toad automatically explode upon death, or or does it have to consciously trigger the explosion?
> 
> If it has to consciously trigger the blast, then a fast enough fatal attack would make it so that the toad doesn't explode.
> 
> ...



The blast can be reflexively triggered (any danger, even a falling tree branch, will set it off), or it can detonate on death. Kamui would be the only attack I can see that can get rid of the toad before it detonates, and this would require Konoha to know what the toad can do beforehand. A fatal attack that doesn't remove the body would still have it detonate. 

If Ino's smart, she'll maintain TOTAL control over the toad's sense of fear. Anything that so much as twitches wrong will set the toad's adrenaline off and ignite the blast. That said, this is a good strategy for removing the toad from Konoha without killing everybody involved.

Shikamaru can't do it with his shadow jutsus. People caught in the jutsu can still twitch, breathe, and talk, indicating that at the very least their autonomic nervous systems and organs are still fully controllable, which means the toad would still be able to detonate.

Gai wouldn't be able to kick the toad far enough before it blows. We're talking "blows up with enough force to spray the toxin a kilometer away," here. That's a ton of velocity and energy in that explosion.

Fire doesn't do anything. Water would just contaminate the area WORSE, because all that water has to go _somewhere_, and the water table of the area would be irreparably tainted. You'd literally kill the entire ecosystem of the area. Even on Catachan, where there are 30-foot Venus mantraps and carnivorous plants that hunt people and all sorts of crazy vegetation, barking toad toxin literally liquify them on the slightest contact. Adding that stuff into the water table would kill things far, far away from Konoha.

As I stated before, wind jutsus and the Hyuuga are, at best, temporary solutions. Blowing it away merely moves the toxin to another area, and in an omnidirectional explosion like the toad's, you'd need a massive concerted effort to blow it all in one direction. Even then, everything in that direction is deader than dead. Plus, any prevailing winds in the area would fuck that solution up right quick. Wind isn't even a viable solution to begin with because unless you set the winds blowing BEFORE the explosion, you're dead. The explosion doesn't signal that there's a toxin, it SPREADS the toxin. By the time you see the explosion the area is already turning into sludge.

Expelling chakra from the body is, at best, a temporary solution. How would you decontaminate the ground or the village? Hell, there wouldn't even BE a village left, since this stuff liquifies _tank armor_. All ninjas would have limited amounts of chakra, and they can't keep it up forever. Plus, how would they decontaminate themselves? How would they try and keep the toxin from sticking to their shoes?


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## Fang (Nov 6, 2009)

Ino is certainly not smart.


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## Darklyre (Nov 6, 2009)

Popie said:


> Inform me, just how fast do these airborne toxins take to kill someone? Not that it really matters, they are all as good as dead, as if they were born into the grave.



Let me put it this way. Barking toad toxin is technically considered a poison, and poisons work by being absorbed into the body, whereupon they disrupt the functioning of something or other and the organism dies. This stuff, in addition to being a poison, is so corrosive that it kills people by _melting them on contact_. The poison doesn't even have TIME to work. It can literally turn normal, living human beings into brown-colored mud in three seconds flat.

It's so nasty that it will melt IoM tank armor within seconds. There's a scene in Flight of the Eisenstein where a bunch of Death Guard are trapped in a room where a Life-Eater virus bomb was leaked. Their armor started corroding as they watched, and they were well on their way to liquifying in under 30 seconds. This was with a LOW dose of Life-Eater virus. 

The barking toad toxin is STRONGER than the Life-Eater virus. Even Space Marines, who are engineered to be poison-resistant and can eat most everyday toxic materials and barely feel heartburn, will die within 10 seconds after this stuff melts them from the inside out. Creatures that can survive the acidity/corrosiveness of the toxin, like the Catachan Devil (and even then it was from a LESSER barking toad, and its scales and chitin were all fused together and falling off), will literally get liquified from the poison. Just so you know, Catachan Devils ALREADY have acidic blood, due to their Tyranid origins.

tl;dr no one in the Narutoverse, save maybe Madara, is going to survive exposure to this stuff.


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## Fang (Nov 6, 2009)

Interestingly what would happen if it was exposed to Deidara's C4?


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## Darklyre (Nov 6, 2009)

TWF said:


> Interestingly what would happen if it was exposed to Deidara's C4?



It'd likely melt them on contact and prevent them from ever detonating.

Or, if the microbombs can't be destroyed that way, the ensuing explosion spread the toxin even FARTHER, which REALLY screws everyone over.


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## madcow3005 (Nov 6, 2009)

Darklyre said:


> The blast can be reflexively triggered (any danger, even a falling tree branch, will set it off), or it can detonate on death. Kamui would be the only attack I can see that can get rid of the toad before it detonates, and this would require Konoha to know what the toad can do beforehand. A fatal attack that doesn't remove the body would still have it detonate.
> 
> If Ino's smart, she'll maintain TOTAL control over the toad's sense of fear. Anything that so much as twitches wrong will set the toad's adrenaline off and ignite the blast. That said, this is a good strategy for removing the toad from Konoha without killing everybody involved.
> 
> ...



Put it this way:

If a bolt of lightning hit the toad and fried its brain and body in an instant, would the explosion still trigger? The toad would have no way of reacting to a lightning bolt.

There are attacks in Narutoverse fast enough to blitz super-humans with magical eyes that predict the future. Sasuke, Itachi, and Kakashi have all gotten blitzed, even though their Sharingans allow them to see their opponent's future moves. If these people can get blitzed by certain attacks, I'm sure a toad who has no reaction feats can also get blitzed. And if these attacks are also powerful enough to fry/disintegrate the toad, wouldn't the explosion never go off?

And why do I care if the surrounding countryside of the Fire Nation gets devastated? This thread is Konoha vs. the toad. As long as the village survives, they win. It doesn't matter how much of the surrounding area is liquified.

So, with that in mind, can you wash the toxin on the ground and the poisonous sludge it creates away from the village with water jutsu? Combine this with Fuuton for the aerial toxin, and you protect the village.

Also, what's this nonsense about not being able to keep up enough Fuuton to blow all the toxin away?

This is one dog-sized toad. It only has so much toxin in its body. You just need to blow that much away, and you're safe. This isn't a sustained virus bombardment over a period of several months, it's a single toad. The reason the poison liquifies everything over several kilometers is because it's very virulent, not because there's a huge quantity of it. All the ninja in the village could surely blow that much toxin away.

As for natural winds that blow the toxin right back, well it could also work the other way. The natural winds might be blowing away from Konoha, and thus help the ninjas in spreading the poison away from the village.

Also, you wouldn't have to decontaminate the ground or village if you used water to wash away the stuff on the ground before it got to the village, and used wind to blow the stuff in the air away. 

This is all assuming the toad doesn't appear in the center of town. For the village to have a chance, the toad needs to be spotted before it reaches anywhere near the gates.


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## Darklyre (Nov 6, 2009)

madcow3005 said:


> Put it this way:
> 
> If a bolt of lightning hit the toad and fried its brain and body in an instant, would the explosion still trigger? The toad would have no way of reacting to a lightning bolt.
> 
> ...



I'll address your arguments in order.

First, even during a lightning strike a human body can still operate autonomously. You can never COMPLETELY cease ALL bodily functions at once without something like instant total molecular disintegration. The only thing the toad needs to set off the explosion is a slight hint of adrenaline, and even minor contact from a light breeze is enough to set off adrenaline production. A lightning strike might cut out the central nervous system and stop the heart and superheat the lungs, but a lot of organs are still able to function during the strike itself.

Let me put it this way. Catachan soldiers have meltaguns (which can vaporize tank armor on contact), lasguns (which can go right through concrete walls), lascannons (which are used as anti-vehicle weaponry), and flamethrowers nasty enough to vaporize Space Marine power armor. None of those are good enough to kill a barking toad before it sets off.

Plus, if it senses ANYBODY AT ALL, it'll go off. This means no one is allowed to set up an attack within line of sight, or upwind of the toad. No one is allowed to make a single non-natural sound. We're talking about a level of stealth that the Narutoverse has never shown, considering they rely on superpowers more than sneaking around.

Water can remove the sludge (or at least wash it away), but you'd need literal waterfalls of it. Imagine how much water would be needed to rip up everything in a kilometer+ wide circle, and then move ALL of it at once (because you can't walk in contaminated areas). Plus, you'd have to do a shitload of prep because the sludge would just get caught on the trees outside Konoha and never go anywhere. You'd need multiple water jutsu users on the level of Kisame to pull off that much water and force. Plus you've still got the problem of the toxin leaking into your water table and killing off any surviving part of the village.

As for your argument about wind jutsus, you neglect that the explosion is what propels the toxin. You'd have to set up the winds before the explosion ever goes off, because anything that gets hit by the explosion itself gets smacked by the toxin at the same time. 

You're also slightly wrong about why the poison is so nasty over an area. Yes, it's incredibly virulent and spreads like Ebola on steroids, but the reason it's so nasty even with such a small amount of toxin is that only a tiny amount is needed to kill. Imagine the amount of blood contained in a small dog. Imagine that the dog explodes and all the blood is spread out evenly over a 1-kilometer circle. There's not much blood per area, right?

Yet when a greater barking toad goes off, that tiny amount is enough to wipe out EVERYTHING in that area, all at the same time, rather than outwards as you'd expect if the toxin was spreading. That means that the toxin isn't killing by spreading, it's simply so nasty that the tiny amount released is enough to kill as it is. AFTER that is when the virulence comes into play, as the toxin starts spreading.

So basically, if the ninjas don't set up winds before the explosion, everything that the explosion touches WILL get turned into sludge. You don't have the possibility of blowing it away after it's already exploded. All you can do at that point is mitigate the damage and blow away the toxins still airborne, and even then that requires you to get near the toxin's effective area, which is a really bad idea to begin with.


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## Abigail (Nov 7, 2009)

Crimson Dragoon said:


> Hyper Kabuto pokes the toad
> 
> He goes HYPER CLOCK UP, flies above, then HYPER CLOCK OVER and watches the fireworks


I just visualized Tendou tip toeing over to the toad, poking it then getting the fuck out of there with Hyper Clock Up. I laughed.


TWF said:


> I was thinking more of Hyper Clock Up, reversing time, and repeating it in Soul Society and Hecudo Mundo for lolz.


It would be hilarious.


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## Arishem (Nov 7, 2009)

Next match: Naruto world vs a Void Whale collision.


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## ScreenXSurfer (Nov 7, 2009)

The things that accidently eat battlefleets and get blown the fuck up?


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## Purpledrank (Dec 15, 2010)

One of the best threads I have ever read.


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## Onomatopoeia (Dec 15, 2010)

And you felt the need to necro a year old thread to inform us of this because...


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## Purpledrank (Dec 15, 2010)

Onomatopoeia said:


> And you felt the need to necro a year old thread to inform us of this because...


I forgot it wasn't in the joke battledome and have problems with reading the expiration date on milk? 
That and I want some scans of that toad like now and isn't preferred to necro things on certain subjects instead of making a new thread on them?


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## Lucifeller (Dec 15, 2010)

That's one ripped Santa you got there in your sig. Steroids much? :ho


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