# Nagato is Konan's Slave



## Goobhunter (Mar 18, 2009)

Konan and Nagato were up in their cave, talking about their Akatsuki-related missions, Nagato was planning on capturing the 9 tailed Fox, a tailed beast, that was speculated to have a lot of power. Nobody knew if it even existed, but Nagato was confident.

"I am so damn powerful." Nagato said to Konan while looking at his Rinnegan eyes. 

"Hm, but I still am more powerful than you." Konan grinned.

"That's funny, Konan, said Nagato" Nagato said. 

"I am. " She persisted

"How do you figure?" Nagato inquired.

"We've been friends since we were kids." Konan said.

"So?" Nagato coughed up blood.

"I know so many embarassing secrets about you, Nagato, I also know that you are the puppeteer controlling the Pains."

"Who told you?!" Nagato was shocked, he look down at his Spider-bot and yelled "You told her!"

"You are the biggest dammit I've ever had the displeasure of knowing." Spider-bot said sternly.

Nagato looked up (lifting his head to make eye contact with Konan was a labor of pain) "Pun intended." Nagato said, smiling.

Konan did not smile back.

Nagato knew he was headed to Blackmail Island (don't worry, it's not a real island, it's a figurative allegory to actual islands) 

"You will call me Konan-sama from now on."

Nagato, obviously not familar with Japanese honorrifics stared blankly.

"Eh?" Nagato was getting old.

"I'm not taking orders from you anymore, slave."

"What did she call me? Nagato thought to himself." Nagato said out loud.

"Get out of the Spider-bot and crawl over to me on all fours." Konan commanded.

Nagato, now really confused, couldn't remember a time when he didn't use his Spider-bot as his form of transportation, but he certainly didn't want Konan to tell the world that he was behind the Six Paths of Pain.

It took about 40 or so minutes before he managed to unhook him from Spider-bot (who happily scurried out the cave entrance and cussed and smoked like Tom Sawyer.)

"Konan..." Nagato whispered.

"Konan-SAMA." Konan ordered.

"Konan-sama...I can't crawl over there, I'm weak."

Konan smiled due to the irony.

(at this point of the story I ask the readers to smile due to the irony, take your time)

"You are weak, slave." Konan began walking towards Nagato layed on his stomach breathing heavily. She put her foot on his head.

"Oww." Nagato groaned.

Konan removed her foot from his head and instead put her toes to his mouth. 

"Tell me how beautiful my feet are, slave." Konan said laughing.

"They're beautiful, Konan-sama." Nagato sighed.

How funny it was, just a while ago, Nagato was the most powerful person on the planet, now he was his girlfriend's slave.




Well how was that? Do you think it was cool? SAY YES! I may continue it.


----------



## Goobhunter (Mar 22, 2009)

Spider-bot approached Konan.

"Growl" said the Spider-bot, "Growl".

The previous weeks had caused Spider-bot to find ninja society was disdainful of spider-bots such as himself. He wanted Nagato back. Nagato and the Spider-bot were one.

"Growl" said the Spider-bot, "Growl".

Konan sat still, looking at Spider-bot and finally said, "Excuse me, one moment...SLAVE!"

Spider-bot began speaking, "I am Spider-bot" he claimed.

Then from behind Konan came Nagato, weak and feeble, much like how Spider-bot had left him, he started to come to the conclusion that since Konan had called for her slave, and Nagato came after she had called, then that must have meant that Nagato was Konan's slave.

'Nagato, my rider!" Spider-bot said to himself.

Konan smiled.

<Who the fuck is Spiderbot?>

<That chair thing Nagato was in.>

<That thing only had four legs.>

<So? Who gives a rat's ass?>

<Spiders have eight legs, retard.>


----------



## Goobhunter (Apr 15, 2009)

Nagato was a shell of his former self, and his former self was a self of his former self. He really didn't have any thoughts of his own, and thoughts only entered when Konan gave him a command. Konan smiled, pride oozed from her voice, she had won, she had successfully formed Nagato into her obedient slave. 

Konan felt like visiting the outdoors (that place where all the outside is) but walking was tiresome, and Konan fancied riding over walking today. She looked at Nagato and alert he became. Konan lifted her hand and pointed to the ground, Nagato knew what this gesture meant all too well. He got on all fours and Konan proceeded to straddle one leg over her slave's back and sat comfortably.

Nagato could barely hold up Konan's weight in his skeletal state, he wobbled, trying to make towards the exit. He was going at a snails pace (not to offend those slimey shelled mollusks, you guys rock!) but this upset Konan who yelled;

"Faster, slave!"

"Yes Mistress Konan-sama." Nagato coughed up red stuff.

She kicked his sides and kicked the side of his face. It hurt.

Spider-bot looked at Nagato, suddenly he understood how Nagato must have felt when Nagato rode in Spider-bot, or maybe Nagato knew how Spider-bot felt when Nagato rode in Spider-bot. 

Well anyway, Konan knew what it felt like to ride Nagato, because she was doing it, and therefore knew how it felt.

Conversely, Nagato knew what it felt like to be rode by Konan, because she was riding him, and therefore he knew how it felt.

Then, Nagato collasped under Konan's weight.

Spider-bot sighed, he knew Konan wasn't going to like that.


----------



## Goobhunter (Apr 15, 2009)

Thankyou all who replied, your support is what keeps this story going!  

Konan sat on Nagato's boney back, he was laying face down on the cold cave floor. She was upset, how dare he not proudly carry her outside and transport her through nature. Konan enjoyed nature, and nature enjoyed those who enjoyed it. Nature did not enjoy pollution. Konan was furious, she was going to punish her slave.

"I don't need this junk!" said she, referring to Nagato.

Then Madara walked into eating a dango.
"Not too salty, nor too sweet, a masterpeice!" He chuckled.

He caught glimpse of Konan sitting on Nagato's body.

"HOLY CWAP!" He exclaimed.

Konan just stared, angry that Mardara had found out about her devious little plan.

"Why are you sitting on Nagato?! He can barely exist without coughing up that fluid with the redish hue!" Madara pleaded Konan to get off his son, Nagato, his real son from another marriage.

"Benefactor Madara" Nagato whispered.

Konan told her slave to shut up.

Nagato looked at Madara.

Then Madara's tightey whiteys gently floated to the ground.


----------



## Goobhunter (Apr 16, 2009)

My story's the best.


----------



## NaruSaku12345 (Apr 16, 2009)

look around. there are no replies


----------



## Lethe (Apr 23, 2009)

Starhunter said:


> My story's the best.



It is something... Started off a little shaky there but it improved some as it went along. You have an unusual sense of humor.

This line in particular confused meh...

"I am so damn powerful." Nagato said to Konan while looking at his _(her maybe?)_  Rinnegan eyes. 

otherwise I enjoyed reading it. You should add more. I'd be interested to see where it all goes.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 6, 2009)

Thankyou, I'm glad you like it. 


Konan refused to get off of Nagato, she sat comfortably, and comfortable was her feeling as she sat on Nagato's back. He was in pain. He begged Konan to get off, he pleaded with her but to no avail. Konan simply enjoyed looking outside the cave. She heard a rustling in the leaves, they came down and the sound of footsteps drew near.

"Who would disturb me while I am comfortable?" Konan muttered to herself.

Low and behold, it was Konoha's most famous ninja, the infamous Naruto, with all that red chakra. He hated to see Nagato in such a humiliating a lowly state, even though he was his worst enemy, the shame and degration was too much for Naruto. He puckered his lips and made a sound, and he said;

"Mm, yeah too much."

Konan warned Naruto to go back where he came from and never to returned, Nagato would remain her slave and Naruto could not change that. He also bluntly stated that if Naruto did not leave she would have to deal with him in a manner most deplorable. 

Naruto stood there angry, with red chakra oozing under his belt buckle. He must have had an infection of the urinary tract, and now the red chakra profusley poured. He had tried charkra control, he had tried home remedies like cranberry juice, but now he was just pissed. He was pissed enough to pull Nagato from underneath Konan and carried him out of the cave over his shoulder.

"Why, Naruto, do you not hate me?" Nagato said as they left.
"Shut up you creep!" Naruto laughed as he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
"You're a good friend, Naruto" Nagato smiled.
"You're an ass!" Naruto laughed.

Konan decided to capture them both.


----------



## Lethe (May 6, 2009)

Starhunter said:


> Thankyou, I'm glad you like it.
> 
> this was fun
> 
> ...



heh, that was silly...but that's okay - write more, but watch your pronouns and tensesesese - they are a bit off in spots.


----------



## Plot Hole (May 6, 2009)

Please continue I like it.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 7, 2009)

Thankyou, all of you, your love for this story exceeds my own.

He went as he hopped from one tree branch to another with Nagato on his shoulder. Naruto wasn't at all happy about this situation, but it beat the alternative (or so he reasoned). This wasn't going to be easy to explain when he got back to Konoha, but he couldn't have left him back there with Konan who surely was following them not too far behind.

They landed on a grassy field where trees were few, and animals likes giraffes and elephants were plentiful. "What sort of barren no name wasteland was this?" Naruto thought to himself. The air was rarefied and soon he decided that he was starving, with no trees around for nourishment. He looked at Nagato, who was in such a poor state of health. Naruto then decided that he shouldn't let good food go to waste, he would have to eat Nagato to survive, and in about another 20 minutes, he would have to eat him again.

Konan search for the two of them. she was upset, Nagato was by all means expendable, but how could she have let Naruto go? He was strong and able bodied. He would make a fine human horse that she could ride upon. She could have used that to her advantage, indeed, Naruto wouldn't come to serve her easily but she was confident that it was possible. She was drawing near to where Narutro and Nagato had landed.

Nagato stared up at Naruto.
"Naruto?" Nagato stammered.
"I want meat." said Naruto curtly.
Nagato paused, confused and unsure what he meant.
"If I eat you I can have all the meat I could ever dream of."
"Naruto!" Nagato was suddenly fearful, "I know you're hungry, but you're starting to sound like a loon!"

Naruto closed in for the meal.


----------



## The Breaker (May 12, 2009)

As Lethe has stated.

It started off a little shaky, but slowly, very slowly turned into the greatest thing in existence. 

All Hail Starhunter.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 12, 2009)

Spread the word!

Nagato hurriedly wrote a semi-legible note and threw it 5 seconds into the future to warn himself that Naruto was going to eat him, Rinnegans and all. A mere 5 seconds later the note dropped into his hands. Nagato stared at the note trying to remember what he wrote 5 seconds ago, which seems like an indefinite amount of time, he could just barely account for the event itself, let alone what he actually wrote. 

"5 seconds ago..." Nagato thought, fearful as Naruto drew near, "What did I write?" he stared at the paper, utterly baffled and truthfully pissed. Naruto slowed his paced and took notice of the paper and the writing on it. He too become couriously confused and asked Nagato what it all meant.

"What does that mean?" Naruto pointed to the note, which was now making its way up a hill.

"I don't know." Nagato gave up.

"Whatta mean _sure_?" Naruto barked.

"Simple. That shit made no sense." Nagato simply stated.

There was a uneasy silence between the two, tears poured down Naruto's face, he wiped the tears with Nagato's eyes. Finally he regain composure.

"You know what?" Naruto asked.

"What?" Nagato said.

"Retards say what." Naruto said loudly.

"What?" Nagato repeated.

"You're a retard." Naruto laughed.

And it was this comment that turned Nagato to a life of sex, drugs, wild parties, and self-destruction.


----------



## Attor (May 12, 2009)

This is so funny ahahaha.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 12, 2009)

Naruto stared at Nagato who was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Then, with one swift motion, Naruto extended a hand of friendship towards Nagato. He didn't know what to say, he was unfamiliar with this gesture, the closest thing he could compare it to was when Konan would slap his face, usually just for her own amusement.

"You're funny, wanna be friends?" Naruto said with a chuckle.

"Why?" Nagato was even more unfamiliar with the concept of friendship.

"You remind me of an old friend of mine, his name was Sasuke."

"Sasuke?" Nagato quickly replied.

No sooner had he said that did he find himself in a headlock, courtesy of Naruto, the knuckled headed ninja he had heard so much about.

"Do your best Sasuke impression, you even kinda look like him!" Naruto said angrily, but with a smile.

Nagato was all like "Who's Sasuke?" he said it twice "Who's Sasuke?"

And Naruto was all like "I don't know how you do things in your villiage, but in my villiage, he settle things with honor!"

Nagato paid new found attention when he heard that word, "Honor?" said he as Naruto released him.

"Honor, dignity, pride, and friendship!" Naruto yelled, "Don't you know the four basic principles of being a shinobi?

Nagato did not know these principles, but he was willing to learn.

He stood up for the first time since they left the cave. He looked directly at Naruto and asked, "Who taught you those principles?"

Naruto grew silent, "Pervy Sage."

The two ninja went for a walk, talking about Jiraiya, who turned out to be a good friend of Nagato. A swarm of birds came, they demanded bread from Naruto. Then Naruto shoved as many birds in his mouth as he could, when he got to four birds he threw up, and those four birds flew away. Along the path they met fellow ninja like Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and Sakura, all whom Naruto roundhouse punched to the ass.

"Do you have any friends, Nagato?" Naruto questioned.

"I might if you'd stop punching people in the ass." he answered.


----------



## Attor (May 12, 2009)

Another great piece of work, Starhunter. I like how Naruto puts birds in his mouth, Naruto don't take no shit from no birds.


----------



## Lethe (May 13, 2009)

Starhunter said:


> Spread the word!
> 
> Nagato hurriedly wrote a semi-legible note and threw it 5 seconds into the future to warn himself that Naruto was going to eat him, Rinnegans and all.



One question...if you're going to warn yourself about something why would he send it to the future and not the past...ooooo that's right - no actual plot...where the hell is Konan? she didn't get lost or was she killed by the plentiful giraffe and elephants?

so many questions...answer them please

that is all


----------



## Attor (May 14, 2009)

Lethe said:


> One question...if you're going to warn yourself about something why would he send it to the future and not the past...ooooo that's right - no actual plot...where the hell is Konan? she didn't get lost or was she killed by the plentiful giraffe and elephants?
> 
> so many questions...answer them please
> 
> that is all



Accept that this doesn't have to make sense to be thoroughly entertaining.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 14, 2009)

Konan was lost, she was getting owned by the plentiful giraffes and elephants. She saw they they were all about to perform Shinra Tensei, a jutsu Nagato himself created, now these beasts of the field were going to use it on her. She also knew this would be detrimental to, not only her, but themselves.

"Don't use that jutsu!" Konan shouted.

17 Shinra Tenseis' were simultaneously performed creating a time vortex that sent Konan 5 seconds into the future. Konan felt as if she were jello, spilled over a pure white bedsheet called space. 

The planets rolled, 

and the sheet was cold, 

Konan was starting to become pissed. 

"How could this happen?" Konan replies.

You neglected Nagato's pleas, you neglected his cries.

Konan didn't care, Nagato belonged to her.

That isn't right, the giraffe grred.

"Grrrrh" went the giraffe.

5 second later Konan dropped in Konoha. She landed on a huge statue of a head on a cliffside.

"Who's statue head is this?" Konan yelled. She formed her paper wings and floated down in front of its face. Low and behold, the statue was none other than her former slave, Nagato, who was Hokage of this future.


----------



## Lethe (May 14, 2009)

Attor said:


> Accept that this doesn't have to make sense to be thoroughly entertaining.



I take exception to that statement - sure it does - otherwise what's the point?

anyway @ starhunter 

- is good to see the animals of the narutoverse getting some screen time - they are so under used as potential characters. Konan jumped 5 seconds into the future and Nagato is Hokage...wow stuff changes pretty quick in good ol' Konoha.

best bit so far:  


> Konan felt as if she were jello, spilled over a pure white bedsheet called space.
> 
> The planets rolled,
> 
> and the sheet was cold,



this made me lol

rated plus four - looking forward to more

lethe


----------



## The Breaker (May 14, 2009)

Lmao, Great work, Oh great one!


----------



## Attor (May 19, 2009)

Lethe said:


> I take exception to that statement - sure it does - otherwise what's the point?



What's the point? Well, part of it's comic value is the fact that it doesn't entirely make sense. And this is clearly a _comedy._


----------



## Rokudaime Sennin ? (May 19, 2009)

that was just hilarious.  lol


----------



## Lethe (May 19, 2009)

Attor said:


> What's the point? Well, part of it's comic value is the fact that it doesn't entirely make sense. And this is clearly a _comedy._



lol

now that's funny

sorry for the spam...is so salty and tasty - i can barely resist it


----------



## Plot Hole (May 19, 2009)

I love your story please keep it up.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 22, 2009)

"Now listen up!" Naruto said "I am Hokage Nagato's most trust worthy advisor!" he yelled to the crowd as he repeatively punched Nagato in the face. 

"Ow!" Nagato yelped.

"Ow!" the crowd said unison.

"Now wait just a damn minute!" Konan stumbled onto the stage.

"Who are you?" said the filler villain.

"I am Konan! Mistress of Nagato!" She said jumping around on the stage.

Naruto stood up, tears rolling down his face! "No!" he shouted "I...I'm gonna punch you in the ass!" he charged at Konan.

"Oh you are just a little fool!" Konan said kicking him in the face.

Nagato just sat there, blood pouring from his mouth, the people in the audience ask if there was any reason why Nagato was bleeding but he assured them that this was normal behavior. He watched the fight between Konan and best friend Naruto.

"Naruto!" Nagato managed to speak.

"Yeah?" Naruto turned.

"You're my...best friend." Nagato smiled.


----------



## The Breaker (May 26, 2009)

Lmao A great addition.


----------



## Plot Hole (May 26, 2009)

I am crying as I am typing this from sheer epicness of your story.


----------



## Attor (May 27, 2009)

Excellent. This is excellent.


----------



## Lethe (May 27, 2009)

I read this the other day but I was doing something I was supposed to be doing so I didn't comment...

Nagato is Naruto best friend?

awesome...he needed boy friend...is kinda creepy how Konan was always hanging on the not so lively member of the trio... oi

fun chapter - on to the next - more violence maybe?


----------



## akazuki (May 28, 2009)

wow! i read all! please continue!


----------



## Goobhunter (May 31, 2009)

The final chapter...



Naruto had grown an extra set of legs.

Nagato laughed and said, "Wow! You look like an idiot, Naruto, with those extra legs and all!"

"Don't make fun of me!" Naruto yelled, clenching all six fists, "I never made fun of you, Nagato!"

"Extra-legged Naruto! That's a good nickname for you!" Nagato jeered.

"Shut up! I said SHUT UP!" Naruto screamed.

"It's ok, Naruto!" said Sasuke's head on Hinata's body. 

Naruto bawled, how could Nagato play him like this? He was just a fool. He saved Nagato from slavery under Konan.

Konan, for the first time in her life, felt sorry for someone, she felt sorry for Naruto.

"How did you get those extra set of legs?" she asked.

"Oh, Oh, I've had them since birth, I just try to hide them under my headband." Naruto explained.

Nagato punched Naruto's extra kneecaps and ankle joints, causing himself to fall over.

"I sure sorted him out!" Nagato laughed.

Naruto cried. He reached into his pocket and pulled out...

...a letter.

"Here you go, Nagato, I guess you need this more than I do." Naruto softly said.

Nagato fumbled around with the letter, unfolded it, and began to read.

_Dear Nagato,

I'm sorry.

Love Konan. _

"I'm such a jerk." said Nagato.

"Yeah you are." Naruto commented.

Nagato took a long stroll home, he gave up on catching all the tailed beasts. He just wanted to go back and explain to Konan what happened, to beg her to forgive him. He made a lot of mistakes during this adventure, but it was a learning experience for him. He made a lot of good friends, but upset his _best_ friend in the process. 

"I always said I'd try to understand people." Nagato mumbled, "Guess seeing Naruto with an extra set of legs was just too much for me."

"Goodbye, Konoha." Nagato whispered as he headed home. 

"Hello, Konan-sama." Nagato whispered as he walked into the entrance.

Best friends.





_Thank you all for taking time to read this random story. I hope you enjoyed it!_


----------



## Lethe (May 31, 2009)

cute - but at least naruto finally got a leg up on things. 

Hopefully you'll get bored and write something else.


----------



## Goobhunter (May 31, 2009)

Well, I stopped cuz in the last manga chapter;


*Spoiler*: __ 



Nagato died and Konan left the Akatsuki.


 

So their characters don't hold much relevence anymore. 

Don't worry. I think I'm going to start a new one about Sasuke and Karin.


----------



## Lethe (Jun 1, 2009)

Starhunter said:


> Well, I stopped cuz in the last manga chapter;
> 
> So their characters don't hold much relevence anymore.
> 
> Don't worry. I think I'm going to start a new one about Sasuke and Karin.



Yes I knew that - is what lends to the humor of it and I will be looking forward to the next bit


----------



## The Breaker (Jul 7, 2009)

It is a sad day, when such greatness has reached it's end. Great work, it was lots of fun, and i want to read your next story.


----------



## Goobhunter (Jan 3, 2010)

Ok, I may continue this story if anyone is interested. Obviously this fanfic was very popular when I first wrote it, so if enough people want me to continue it I will. However, if nobody replies to this, then that's fine too. This is a quality fanfic here.


----------



## Attor (Jan 11, 2010)

Great ending. It's sad to see the adventure end but hopefully you'll do more in the future =]


----------

