# An article about the upcoming Akira movie



## Luckyday (Mar 30, 2011)

It's "The last Airbender" all over again


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## Garfield (Mar 30, 2011)

Why don't I see points 2 and 1?

/idiot


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## Sparrow (Mar 30, 2011)

adee said:


> Why don't I see points 2 and 1?
> 
> /idiot



Just scroll down more and click "next" to go to the next page, mate.


Anyway, yeah, they're totally going to ruin Akira.


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## Garfield (Mar 30, 2011)

That's the thing, the next button isn't working for me!

edit: ok now it is.


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 30, 2011)

Assuming it is made, the movie is going to suck hardballs.


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## Parallax (Mar 30, 2011)

I knew this film was going down the shitter from the start.


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 30, 2011)

I don't have a problem with them changing the cast to white people, or the location to New York.

I mean if they want a Japanese movie they should just watch Akira again.

This is a remake and a localization. New York is America's equivalent to Tokyo--get over it. America is primarily white people--get over it. I might like to see more black and hispanic people though. That'd be more realistic for New York.

The problems I will have with the movie is how much it strays from the source material in terms of story and abilities and how shitty it will be overall.


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## αshɘs (Mar 30, 2011)

lol 


for now the only anime adaptation I have some remote interest in is Cameron's Battle Angel...


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## Whip Whirlwind (Mar 30, 2011)

Oh shit! They're taking a japanese classic and totally adapting it for western audiences!? That NEVER works out!







My only issue with this is that they're calling it Akira. Oh and it might be shit


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jafd97yJFOI&feature=player_embedded[/YOUTUBE]


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I don't have a problem with them changing the cast to white people, or the location to New York.
> 
> I mean if they want a Japanese movie they should just watch Akira again.
> 
> ...




that's like saying remaking Roots with an all white or asian cast is fine.


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 30, 2011)

Banhammer said:


> that's like saying remaking Roots with an all white or asian cast is fine.


 No it isn't. Akira isn't about Japanese slavery. 

If they wanted to adapt Roots to, say, another country that had non-black slaves it might make sense.

Otherwise your point falls flat on its face. Badly.


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

CrazyMoronX said:


> No it isn't. Akira isn't about Japanese slavery.



No it's about Japan in the eighties. It's about tokyo, Japanese holocausts, teenage gang fighting and murdering, government totalitarian abuse and flippantly obstinant opression and agressive measures on the youth, at it's heart, unadaptable to americans.
Not to mention the technological forefather of anime as we know it.
My point stands strong.

To white wash it makes less sense then a bollywood nine eleven movie.


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

to add insult to injury they're not only making it vanilla, their making it vanila with RPATZZZZZZZZZZ on top


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 30, 2011)

Banhammer said:


> No it's about Japan in the eighties. It's about tokyo, Japanese holocausts, teenage gang fighting and murdering, government totalitarian abuse and flippantly obstinant opression and agressive measures on the youth, at it's heart, unadaptable to americans.
> Not to mention the technological forefather of anime as we know it.
> My point stands strong.
> 
> To white wash it makes less sense then a bollywood nine eleven movie.


 When I watched it all I got was cool explosions, telekinetic abilities, and some guy with a giant forehead.

Sounds like Hollywood to me. 


Strip away all this Japanese rhetoric and that's what it basically is. And that's what they'll basically make. Maybe if I sympathized with Japan on any level and knew what the hell was going on I might care. But I don't so I don't.


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## hehey (Mar 30, 2011)

My problem with this movie is that they are calling it Akira... they should change the name, then they could no whatever the hell they want and i wouldn't care.


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

CrazyMoronX said:


> When I watched it all I got was cool explosions, telekinetic abilities, and some guy with a giant forehead.
> 
> Sounds like Hollywood to me.
> 
> ...



So many things wrong with this sentence that I don't even...

CMX I grow very tired of how you keep looking at "starry Nights" just so you can talk about the frame. You're not making the case you think you are.

:sanji


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## Ash (Mar 30, 2011)

Justin Timberlake... Edward Cullen?

This is a joke, right?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2011)

I don't mind it being 'Americanized' either. While yes, Akira is very Japanese, it's in the execution, not the story. It's not like Avatar, which 's story is very Chinese.

With that said, I dont think it will be made....or very good........


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## Gnome (Mar 30, 2011)

It'll probably be crap.



αshɘs said:


> lol
> 
> 
> for now the only anime adaptation I have some remote interest in is Cameron's Battle Angel...



Same here.


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 30, 2011)

Banhammer said:


> So many things wrong with this sentence that I don't even...
> 
> CMX I grow very tired of how you keep looking at "starry Nights" just so you can talk about the frame. You're not making the case you think you are.
> 
> :sanji


 You just hatin' on my logic, that's all.


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You just hatin' on my logic, that's all.


Or the lack of it. "The only thing I didn't like about the movie was the point of it"...?_?


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## Parallax (Mar 30, 2011)

Yeah CMX your logic was pretty awful

Anyways I'm not hating on the fact that it's Americanized or whatever.  I mean it's been done before and there has been some good stuff coming from it(although Magnificent Seven sucked, deal with it).

I just don't think it'll be good regardless...


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## Narcissus (Mar 30, 2011)

The idea behind this is just awful. The casting is bad, and I'm sure they would turn the story into a steaming pile of shit. I really hope this doesn't get made...


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 30, 2011)

I don't watch anime for the deep Japanese culture references. I don't even get most of them. How is my logic flawed?

I'm sure most of the American public doesn't give two shits about it either. That's what Hollywood is banking on. It has an interesting sci-fi/action type movie quality that will be easy to exploit.


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## soulnova (Mar 30, 2011)

I read this just now... 

Dear god, what are they doing? Change the name dammit... CHANGE THE NAME! That's all we want. It CANT be Akira. 

 Just like what happened with Dragon Ball *D*Evolution and The Last Crap Bender. I loved those, you SOBs.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2011)

lol, THEY SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE THIS LIKE "The Warriors"!

I demand to see clown gangs on roller-skates.


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## Banhammer (Mar 30, 2011)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I don't watch anime for the deep Japanese culture references. I don't even get most of them. How is my logic flawed?


Because the entire point of Akira is japanese context. The whole thing!
The same way America is the whole thing about Captain America. On a more important way than that of how "will of fire" is the whole thing about Naruto and  how "nakama" is the whole thing about one piece, or how the chase is the whole thing about Moby dick
Saying you don't watch Akira for the japanese theme is the same thing as saying you only watch The Dark Knight for Maggie Glynehall's tits.



> I'm sure most of the American public doesn't give two shits about it either. That's what Hollywood is banking on. It has an interesting sci-fi/action type movie quality that will be easy to exploit.


Which is exactly the bastardization that people are upset about.
Akira has a point to which telekinesis is just a framing tool for. He could have had the power to make everyone turn into furbies and bullets into old tampons instead and the story would still be the same
This is beginning to become very homer simpson


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## Gabe (Mar 30, 2011)

i don't mind it being Americanized but i hope they dont make it a piece of trash as dragon ball evolution was


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## Jena (Mar 31, 2011)

Banhammer said:


> [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jafd97yJFOI&feature=player_embedded[/YOUTUBE]



Yep. 

I have to be honest, I was never a big fan of the original Akira. I know that as an anime fan I'm expected to sit down at its feet and worship it with every fiber of my nerdy being, but I can't bring myself to enjoy it.


And this adaptation is just another in the long stream of "making movies based on crap people know for the money". It would be one thing if they were going to put some effort into it. But you know they're not going to. They're going to slap in some special effects and explosions and boobs and it might even be entertaining but it certainly won't be good or memorable.

I guess people won't watch a movie unless it's something they vaguely recognize from the title, is rated R, has naked chicks in it, and people getting blown away. Pander, pander, pander!

Whatever, I don't even care anymore. Getting worked up about this stuff never ends well. I'm apathetic. I'll sit in the corner and stare at the wall and just shut it all out. It can't hurt me if I don't pay attention to it. If I close my eyes, I can ignore how everything I love is being raped by hollywood.
At least until someone gets the bright idea to make Recess into a live action movie starring Rock Hudson. That's the point at which I go atomic.


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## Talon. (Mar 31, 2011)

Whip Whirlwind said:


> Oh shit! They're taking a japanese classic and totally adapting it for western audiences!? That NEVER works out!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I remember watching Yojimbo and then this as a comparison. I thought this was the more enjoyable of the two (altho Kurosawa was the better director )


Banhammer said:


> [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jafd97yJFOI&feature=player_embedded[/YOUTUBE]



LOLWUT.


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## Parallax (Mar 31, 2011)

Yojimbo was better :snooty


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## Ennoea (Mar 31, 2011)

Are people really surprised about the Whitewashing? 

Though Justin Timberlake or Edward Cullen make my stomach churn.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 31, 2011)

I actually prefer Fistful of Dollars over Yojimbo(but I dont necessarily think it's the better movie).


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## Stunna (Mar 31, 2011)

I wouldn't mind the whitewashing if it wasn't for the fact that it's _Akira._

Doesn't make sense for it not to be in Japan.

But you know Hollywood's logic.

If it's not a White protagonist, we Americans can't relate.


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## Detective (Mar 31, 2011)

Steve Fucking Kloves is writing this. You can smell the character assassination and tomfuckery a mile away. He's going to find someway to get Emma Watson involved in this and give every major character's lines to her.

The production of this film...


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## Luckyday (Mar 31, 2011)

Ennoea said:


> Are people really surprised about the Whitewashing?
> 
> Though Justin Timberlake or Edward Cullen make my stomach churn.



No, not at all. I now know the truth thanks to the maker of The Last Airbender.

Which is why I will watch 13 Assassins on April 29th! A film that is not whitewashed!


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## Luckyday (Apr 7, 2011)

And the shit keeps coming.


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## soulnova (Apr 7, 2011)

Luckyday said:


> And the shit keeps coming.



I really hope it is an early script or they just change the name altogether. Either way, is bullshit.


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## EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! (Apr 7, 2011)

Just so you guys don't take up arms or anything,
that script isn't actually the real Akira script.
The writer took one of her rejected scripts, changed the title and a few names, and then sent it to Cracked as an April Fool's Joke.


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## CrazyMoronX (Apr 7, 2011)

I ain't worried, this movie won't be made.


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## DominusDeus (Apr 7, 2011)

I don't think I can take anything seriously on the Cracked website. Cracked used to be a comedy magazine that competed against MAD Magazine (and I still have a butt-load of both magazines laying around from the 90s). It's like taking an article on the Onion seriously.


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## Evolet (Apr 7, 2011)

FRERE JACQUES FRERE JACQUES
DORMEZ VOUS DORMEZ VOUS


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## Psychic (Apr 9, 2012)

I was going to make a thread, but there was already one! 
Anyways, I heard they want to bring Kristin Stewart into it. Seriously, they need more asian actors if they want to make this work, and they definitely should keep the regular Japanese names. WB is determined to make this, heres is an update :


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## CrazyMoronX (Apr 9, 2012)

THIS MOVIE!

WILL NEVER!

BE MADE!


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## TSC (Apr 9, 2012)

Why am I I'm hearing comments that the production got shot down? Is this really true?


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## Stunna (Apr 9, 2012)

I don't think it's gonna make it out of development hell.

I won't let it.


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## Psychic (Apr 9, 2012)

Well....they are having a budget issue, but they are determined to make it. And I hope they do, WB has always produced badass movies, and I want to see this made!


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