# Finding a Roommate



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 5, 2020)

I cannot live with my parents forever; eventually, I shall need to find my own place of residence, and, when I do, I plan to have a roommate, for both the companionship and the assistance with paying for the expenses of living.

            I would like to make it clear that I am not seeking a roommate, yet (and I am sorry if anyone here was hopeful), but I would like to have advice on how to find one, because I wish to be very careful about with whom I share my living space. My roommate needs to be someone who is calm, rational, can tolerate me, does not indulge in recreational drugs, and shares, or at least tolerates, my preferences in movies and music.

            Among my current friends, there is only one whom I would consider having as a roommate, since he is very calm and rarely is bothered by anything, so he shall be the first person whom I ask when I move into my own place. If he does not accept the offer, my plan is to post an advertisement online, and then meet with any interested people at a restaurant, to interact with them and ask them questions, akin to a job interview, to attain a better understanding of them.

            What does everyone else have to say about this? How do you feel that I should find a roommate?

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Nataly (Aug 5, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I would like to move into her [grandmother's] house, myself, because I feel that that is my best option for finding my own place





DemonDragonJ said:


> I shall need to find my own place of residence





DemonDragonJ said:


> I plan to have a roommate





DemonDragonJ said:


> I would like to make it clear that I am not seeking a roommate






DemonDragonJ said:


> I would like to make it clear that I am not seeking a roommate, yet (_and I am sorry if anyone here was hopeful_)


----------



## Gin (Aug 5, 2020)

ddj and utahcrip sharing a room would make for good sitcom material

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Ashi (Aug 5, 2020)

Do you have anyone in mind


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 5, 2020)

Gin said:


> ddj and utahcrip sharing a room would make for good sitcom material



I am seeking someone who has a personality that is compatible with mine, not someone whose personality is the polar opposite of mine.



Ashi said:


> Do you have anyone in mind



@Jimin seems to be very fond of me, so he would be nice; I am not certain if I should say this on a publicly-viewable forum, but I would not mind having @Mariko as a roommate, although I have enough sense to realize that the likelihood of that happening is extremely low.


----------



## Lurko (Aug 5, 2020)

@Mariko

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Lurko (Aug 5, 2020)

Ava would be perfect for Ddj.


----------



## UtahCrip (Aug 5, 2020)

Gin said:


> ddj and utahcrip sharing a room would make for good sitcom material


pass. whats the point of roommate who wouldnt be a good alibi. cuz would snitch as soon as the police start asking if i was at home at like 3am on a thurday.


DemonDragonJ said:


> I am seeking someone who has a personality that is compatible with mine, not someone whose personality is the polar opposite of mine.


also, good lucc getting that rent.


----------



## Yamato (Aug 5, 2020)

I could see you complaining a lot about your new roommate over the littlest things, but that’s common and happens to almost everyone so


----------



## savior2005 (Aug 5, 2020)

Make a new friend(s) and relationship(s) by finding a roommate that isn't a close current friend. Good friends can end up being terrible roommates which can strain the friendship


----------



## Smoke (Aug 5, 2020)

Roommates are everywhere. 

Drive around in the shady parts of town, and find a hooker. Tell her that for a percentage of her sales, you'll let her use a room.

Depending on her skills as a salesman, she might help you with more money than what you originally wanted.


----------



## Nep Nep (Aug 5, 2020)

Smoke said:


> Roommates are everywhere.
> 
> Drive around in the shady parts of town, and find a hooker. Tell her that for a percentage of her sales, you'll let her use a room.
> 
> Depending on her skills as a salesman, she might help you with more money than what you originally wanted.



He lives near Boston right? Can probably find plenty of that in Mattapan.


----------



## Smoke (Aug 6, 2020)

And if she's low on her numbers, I'm sure she can find "other" ways to make it up to you.


----------



## Trinity (Aug 6, 2020)

Craigslist, dude
And I agree with Savior


Smoke said:


> Drive around in the shady parts of town, and find a hooker.


chortling

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Raiden (Aug 6, 2020)

What do you mean by "tolerate" you?


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 6, 2020)

Raiden said:


> What do you mean by "tolerate" you?



I mean that I am seeking a roommate who will not be angered by me, my actions, or my idiosyncracies; why are you asking that question?


----------



## Raiden (Aug 6, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I mean that I am seeking a roommate who will not be angered by me, my actions, or my idiosyncracies; why are you asking that question?



I can't recall anyone that I know saying that they need a roommate who will "tolerate" them. I find it a curious way to describe a roommate relationship.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 6, 2020)

Raiden said:


> I can't recall anyone that I know saying that they need a roommate who will "tolerate" them. I find it a curious way to describe a roommate relationship.



You have been a member of this forum for nearly as long as I have been, so you should be well aware of how (for lack of a better word) _unique_ I am and how esoteric my preferences are.


----------



## Raiden (Aug 6, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> You have been a member of this forum for nearly as long as I have been, so you should be well aware of how (for lack of a better word) _unique_ I am and how esoteric my preferences are.



BUT normally I think a sustainable relationship between a person and their roommate is figuring out ways to respect each others boundaries and work together. Like if you have a uniqueness about yourself that might disturb others, you kinda have to figure out how to work around not bothering your roommate...not requiring someone to tolerate you.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 6, 2020)

Raiden said:


> BUT normally I think a sustainable relationship between a person and their roommate is figuring out ways to respect each others boundaries and work together. Like if you have a uniqueness about yourself that might disturb others, you kinda have to figure out how to work around not bothering your roommate...not requiring someone to tolerate you.



If my roommate expects me to not bother them, I shall expect them to not bother me, as well; that is perfectly fair, in my mind.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 6, 2020)

What's the point of saving money living with your parents if you're just going to live with someone else when you move out of your place?  Just move out now.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 6, 2020)

@Mider T, there is no urgent reason to move out of my current house, at this time; this thread is a hypothetical question for when I do move into my own place, whenever that may be.


----------



## martryn (Aug 6, 2020)

I hear grandmas make good roommates.  In fact, when you move into your grandmother's house, after she passes (let's hope that that's years away), you could maybe recruit a roommate among widows.  There could be hidden financial gains from this.  I shan't say more.


----------



## UtahCrip (Aug 6, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> @Mider T, there is no urgent reason to move out of my current house,


so you you aint serious about crushing cheeks? women dont want a man living with his parents. 

if i was your pops i'd regulate. you cant bring no girls bacc to the crib unless i fucc em first. that would really motivate you to move out.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 7, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> @Mider T, there is no urgent reason to move out of my current house, at this time; this thread is a hypothetical question for when I do move into my own place, whenever that may be.


The urgent reason is your age and your parents are trying to enjoy retirement.


----------



## Sunrider (Aug 9, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I am seeking someone who has a personality that is compatible with mine, not someone whose personality is the polar opposite of mine.


I'mma tell you right now the only things that matter are

their cleanliness matches yours
their attitudes on items in common areas (such as food in the refrigerator) matches yours
they pay their portion of rent/bills on time.
And honestly, the first two are negotiable so long as they're tight with the third. The fact is that you're getting a roommate to manage living expenses, not to find a life mate. Y'all don't gotta be compatible in every sense, just manage to cover living costs without coming to blows.

The periods I had roommates, we mostly had nothing to do with each other--so long as the bills were paid and the place wasn't a pig sty, little else mattered.

_EDIT: Changed my mind, normal rules don't really apply for DDJ. It might actually be more necessary to find someone compatible with your quirks, or at least unconcerned with them. _


----------



## martryn (Aug 9, 2020)

I wonder what quirks DDJ has in real-life, and how much of DDJ is just the way he presents himself to us on the internet.  

Maybe it would be best just to room with someone you already know.  If not one of your friends, then maybe one of your friends can suggest someone they know that is looking, and then at least you'll be rooming with a friend of a friend.

When I had roommates back in college my biggest issue with them was trash in the living room and dishes in the sink.  No one seemed willing to vacuum after making a mess in the living room, no one was doing any dishes, and no one was taking out the trash while the bag was still able to be tied closed.  I think that if you do end up getting roommates, you should lay down some clear ground rules in these areas.  Trash goes out daily, vacuuming or sweeping or mopping is done on a rotation, and you wash the dishes that you used to cook in a timely fashion.  No dishes left in the sink overnight or something.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

Mider T said:


> The urgent reason is your age and your parents are trying to enjoy retirement.



I certainly am not eager for my grandmother to die, and there is no point in moving into an apartment when I plan to soon move into my grandmother's house.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

martryn said:


> I wonder what quirks DDJ has in real-life, and how much of DDJ is just the way he presents himself to us on the internet.



I am not likely to be an objective or unbiased judge on that matter, so I shall not comment on it.



martryn said:


> Maybe it would be best just to room with someone you already know.  If not one of your friends, then maybe one of your friends can suggest someone they know that is looking, and then at least you'll be rooming with a friend of a friend.



Yes, I plan to ask one of my friend from high school to be my roommate, as he is the only friend whom I could tolerate as my roommate, but, if he is not interested, I shall look elsewhere.



martryn said:


> When I had roommates back in college my biggest issue with them was trash in the living room and dishes in the sink.  No one seemed willing to vacuum after making a mess in the living room, no one was doing any dishes, and no one was taking out the trash while the bag was still able to be tied closed.  I think that if you do end up getting roommates, you should lay down some clear ground rules in these areas.  Trash goes out daily, vacuuming or sweeping or mopping is done on a rotation, and you wash the dishes that you used to cook in a timely fashion.  No dishes left in the sink overnight or something.



Yes, when I interview potential candidates, I will make clear what expectations I have (but I shall spare everyone here the details of those expectations), and any person who cannot meet them will not be considered.


----------



## martryn (Aug 9, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Yes, when I interview potential candidates, I will make clear what expectations I have (but I shall spare everyone here the details of those expectations), and any person who cannot meet them will not be considered.



I want to be interviewed by you incognito.  I'm super interested if I could possibly live up to your standards.  And I think it would be interesting to give you some curveball questions of my own.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

martryn said:


> I want to be interviewed by you incognito.  I'm super interested if I could possibly live up to your standards.  And I think it would be interesting to give you some curveball questions of my own.



Are you being serious, or are you messing with me?


----------



## martryn (Aug 9, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Are you being serious, or are you messing with me?



Oh, I'm hella serious.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

martryn said:


> Oh, I'm hella serious.



Do you live anywhere near where I live? If not, then there is no point in pursuing this train of thought, any further.


----------



## martryn (Aug 9, 2020)

I don't know.  Are you on the East Coast somewhere.  I'll take a drive, grab a coffee, and interview with DDJ.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

martryn said:


> I don't know.  Are you on the East Coast somewhere.  I'll take a drive, grab a coffee, and interview with DDJ.



I live in New England, but I prefer to not be any more specific than that on a publicly-viewable forum.


----------



## martryn (Aug 9, 2020)

Well, I'm not looking for a roommate, but I'd interview.  Or, I could sit in on the interviews with you and help screen.  Just buy me coffee.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

martryn said:


> Well, I'm not looking for a roommate, but I'd interview.  Or, I could sit in on the interviews with you and help screen.  Just buy me coffee.



I still do not know how far away from me you are; if you live an hour or more away from me, there is no point. We should communicate via private message to discuss the matter further.

Also, I am not yet ready to move into my own place, at this time, so there is no significant reason for me to be seeking a roommate, yet.


----------



## martryn (Aug 9, 2020)

The entire point was to observe you in your natural habitat.  I'll make the trip.  It will be... fascinating.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 9, 2020)

martryn said:


> The entire point was to observe you in your natural habitat.  I'll make the trip.  It will be... fascinating.



It is very late where I am, so we shall need to continue this discussion, some other time.


----------



## UtahCrip (Aug 9, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> (but I shall spare everyone here the details of those expectations)


i wanna see em. i feel like you gonna have some wild ass expectations. like they cant have a girlfriend cause you don't want to hear them fuccing through the walls.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 9, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I certainly am not eager for my grandmother to die, and there is no point in moving into an apartment when I plan to soon move into my grandmother's house.


You don't have to wait until she dies to give your parents their space.


----------



## Snowless (Aug 9, 2020)

I'm actually curious what your expectations are, too, because if they're too unrealistic, you should be told as such.


----------



## martryn (Aug 10, 2020)

Alcohol only in moderation?  As in you don't want them to be drunk in the public spaces?  Seems harsh.  Drinking heavily is a huge past time of mine. Maybe you should narrow it down to disruptive drunkenness.  

You're going to make your roommate guilty by association?  Seems kinda a shitty thing to do.  You could have a rule like... no illegal activities on the premises, but you shouldn't judge other people by their friends.  Anyways, that seems open to interpretation, especially if you're judging unwholesomeness or untrustworthiness based on your arbitrary definitions.  You could, on a whim, decide that you think someone is shit, just because of the way they looked at you, and now you're going to evict your roommate because of something they didn't even do?

And only single roommates?  Like, a rule about no loud sex or smacking on each other in the public areas while I'm at home is one thing, but no relationship at all?  So you want to find complete losers to live with you?

The rest of the rules seem fine.  Standard even.


----------



## Snowless (Aug 10, 2020)

I think that everything is reasonable up until these two:

"-If my roommate associates with any people whom I find to be unwholesome or untrustworthy, I shall ask that they sever contact from those people or else I shall evict them.

-I shall seek only roommates who are single, with the expectation that, if either of us establishes a serious romantic relationship, the roommate shall move into a new place of residence (remember that I said I would not seek a roommate until I have my own place, so that I shall have the leverage to establish and enforce such conditions); if a roommate of mine has a child from a former relationship, under no circumstances will I allow that roommate to raise their child in our house."

Dictating your roommate's friends is controlling and I have never even considered the possibility.
And dictating your roommate's relationship status is similarly unrealistic and controlling.


----------



## Snowless (Aug 10, 2020)

Okay, but you're not going to know your roommate's friends before they become your roommate.
So, after they are already your roommate, you can't deny them entry.


----------



## martryn (Aug 10, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I do not wish to tolerate someone who is intoxicated, especially not if they become violent when they are in such a condition.



There is a huge difference between intoxication and violent drunkenness.  I can understand not wanting a roommate who is disruptively alcoholic, or becomes a violent, or loud, drunk.  But not even a roommate that is a mellow drunk?



DemonDragonJ said:


> To revise the first condition, if a potential roommate associates with unwholesome people, I will not even allow them to see my house; I will simply thank them for their time and never contact them, again. Is that better?



Are you going to require them to provide you with a list of associates?  Are you going to run full background checks on all who apply? 



DemonDragonJ said:


> You may not like the criteria that I use to evaluate a person's wholesomeness or trustworthiness, so I feel that it is best that I not reveal them, here.



I think that is very telling, and perhaps you should consider living life alone.  Like, forever.



DemonDragonJ said:


> I have already stated that I will not have a loser as a roommate, and I have no problem with my roommate having a relationship, but I will not allow their partner to move into my house



Oh, well, that's different entirely.  Obviously you only want one roommate, and having a second person means another person that is using water, taking up fridge space, etc.  But you can't expect to limit a person's girlfriend from coming over, or occasionally staying over.  That's pretty typical relationship stuff.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 10, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I do not wish to tolerate someone who is intoxicated, especially not if they become violent when they are in such a condition.


You don't have to "tolerate" it because they're a roommate not a friend.  They could be drinking in their room away from you.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## UtahCrip (Aug 10, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> -I shall seek only roommates who are single,


called that shit. what if your roomie like me and brings bacc freaks to the spot like every other night?


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 11, 2020)

martryn said:


> There is a huge difference between intoxication and violent drunkenness.  I can understand not wanting a roommate who is disruptively alcoholic, or becomes a violent, or loud, drunk.  But not even a roommate that is a mellow drunk?



That is different; if my roommate does not become violent when they are intoxicated, I possibly may accept that, but I shall still limit the amount of alcohol that they may have in our house at any given time.



martryn said:


> Are you going to require them to provide you with a list of associates?  Are you going to run full background checks on all who apply?



Employers do that, and a roommate is a far closer associate than is an employee.



martryn said:


> I think that is very telling, and perhaps you should consider living life alone.  Like, forever.



Have I not stated many times that I eventually wish to be married?



martryn said:


> Oh, well, that's different entirely.  Obviously you only want one roommate, and having a second person means another person that is using water, taking up fridge space, etc.  But you can't expect to limit a person's girlfriend from coming over, or occasionally staying over.  That's pretty typical relationship stuff.



Of course I can (and possibly shall) tolerate that; I was saying that I would not allow a third person to move permanently into my house.



UtahCrip said:


> called that shit. what if your roomie like me and brings bacc freaks to the spot like every other night?



In such a scenario, I shall ask my roommate if any of the women are single, and, if they are not, I shall ask them for advice on how to pick up women.


----------



## UtahCrip (Aug 11, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> In such a scenario, I shall ask my roommate if any of the women are single, and, if they are not, I shall ask them for advice on how to pick up women.


that's def going to be weird. "hey the girl who's bacc you just blew out. is she single?" I do approve of getting some advice in real life. maybe you'd be more likely to take it than all the good advice people been typing.


----------



## martryn (Aug 11, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I shall still limit the amount of alcohol that they may have in our house at any given time.



Limit the amount of alcohol?  Whoa, bro.  Why?



DemonDragonJ said:


> Employers do that, and a roommate is a far closer associate than is an employee.



You're not fucking paying them to live with you!  In fact, you're having them pay you.


----------



## martryn (Aug 11, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> This thread is drifting from its original topic, which was venues or methods that I may use to find a roommate, so could we please return to that subject?



Troll around college campuses.  Advertise for college students looking for a quiet place to live.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 12, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> To avoid any temptation.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 12, 2020)

martryn said:


> Troll around college campuses.  Advertise for college students looking for a quiet place to live.



I graduated from college in 2009, so I am now far older than most college students, except for those who are pursuing matser's degrees, who are far fewer in number than are undergraduate students.



Mider T said:


>



I am referring to removing temptation for any roommates who are fond of alcohol.


----------



## martryn (Aug 12, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I graduated from college in 2009, so I am now far older than most college students, except for those who are pursuing matser's degrees, who are far fewer in number than are undergraduate students.



And...?  I didn't think age mattered that much if they pay the bills and keep shit cleaned.  Honestly, if you're getting a roommate to combat loneliness and/or companionship, either get a girlfriend or have one of your friends room with you.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 12, 2020)

martryn said:


> And...?  I didn't think age mattered that much if they pay the bills and keep shit cleaned.  Honestly, if you're getting a roommate to combat loneliness and/or companionship, either get a girlfriend or have one of your friends room with you.



I have been spending a significant portion of my free time for the past several months seeking a new girlfriend, and I do plan to ask one of my friends if he would be willing to be my roommate.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 12, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I am referring to removing temptation for any roommates who are fond of alcohol


Why?  They can enjoy what they please


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 12, 2020)

@Mider T, in that case, they can enjoy it somewhere other than in my house.


----------



## martryn (Aug 12, 2020)

You should probably just live alone...

If your grandmother owns her house outright, wouldn't that mean that you could live rent free?  You need a roommate to help pay exorbitant utility fees or something?


----------



## Mider T (Aug 12, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> @Mider T, in that case, they can enjoy it somewhere other than in my house.


Yeah you're not gonna find a roommate if you try to control aspects of their lives that have nothing to do with you.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 12, 2020)

Mider T said:


> Yeah you're not gonna find a roommate if you try to control aspects of their lives that have nothing to do with you.



That is why I shall interview any candidates before I bring them to my house, to ensure that they do not consume alcohol excessively.

Previously, other users here were saying that I would have difficulty in finding a new girlfriend, and, now, they are saying that I shall have difficulty in finding a roommate; why does everyone keep saying that?



martryn said:


> You should probably just live alone...



This is now the second time that you have said that, and, again, I am seeking to be married, so I will not be living alone if I am eventually married.



martryn said:


> If your grandmother owns her house outright, wouldn't that mean that you could live rent free?  You need a roommate to help pay exorbitant utility fees or something?



She is the only person who has ever lived in that house (technically, my mother, aunt, and grandfather also lived there, but they are all members of the same family), and has been living there since 1966, so she definitely has long since paid off the mortgage and owns the house outright, but moving in there permanently would require that I move my computer and all of my belongings there, which would be too much of a change and/or disruption while she is still alive, and I have already said that I wish for a roommate for the companionship, to ensure that I am not driven insane from the isolation.


----------



## martryn (Aug 12, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Previously, other users here were saying that I would have difficulty in finding a new girlfriend, and, now, they are saying that I shall have difficulty in finding a roommate; why does everyone keep saying that?



Because you should listen to us for once: you seem very controlling.  I get the impression that you meticulously think something through, decide that it has to be a certain way, and then refuse to accept any changes to your ideal.  You don't think it be like it is, but it do.  If you can't go with the flow, then you're gonna end up alone.  And that goes for your search for a girlfriend/wife, too.



DemonDragonJ said:


> I have already said that I wish for a roommate for the companionship, to ensure that I am not driven insane from the isolation.



So you're going to move out of your parent's place before your grandmother dies?  I didn't get that impression.  

The problem is you've already examined your stable of friends and decided that only one of those fuckers is suitable to be a roommate.  If your primary reason for having a roommate is companionship, then you're going to want to have a roommate that is a friend.  But you don't even want to live with the friends you already have.  So you now have to go make new friends to recruit them as a roommate.

But your idea is to interview... for potential friends.  You're interviewing friends.  You're holding interviews, so you can make friends.

If they even pass your rigid set of requirements, the interview process is likely to drive away potential roommates.


----------



## savior2005 (Aug 13, 2020)

No alcohol or girlfriends? At this point, I'd suggest finding a Muslim extremist for a roommate. Pretty sure they won't have a girlfriend and they likely won't drink as it's against their religion. You may encounter different problems with them though.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Mider T (Aug 13, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> That is why I shall interview any candidates before I bring them to my house, to ensure that they do not consume alcohol excessively.


Interview?. They aren't applying for a job, all this is going to do is scare away any prospects. 


DemonDragonJ said:


> Previously, other users here were saying that I would have difficulty in finding a new girlfriend, and, now, they are saying that I shall have difficulty in finding a roommate; why does everyone keep saying that?


Because its a roommate not a wife.  You don't really even have to interact other than rent money, what they do shouldn't matter to you unless it affects you because its none of your business.


----------



## martryn (Aug 13, 2020)

Mider T said:


> They aren't applying for a job, all this is going to do is scare away any prospects.



Maybe he's doing them a favor.  If they can't make it through the interview, how are they going to make it through beerless taco Tuesday?



Mider T said:


> You don't really even have to interact other than rent money, what they do shouldn't matter to you unless it affects you because its none of your business.



But that's not what he wants.  He wants constant interaction.  He's looking for a friend to be his roommate, not a roommate that might become his friend.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 13, 2020)

Oh he should just ask his friends to live with him then and keep it simple.


----------



## martryn (Aug 13, 2020)

Mider T said:


> Oh he should just ask his friends to live with him then and keep it simple.



Well, yeah.  That's what normal people would do.  But he has already stated that he hates all his friends but the one.  So he doesn't want to live with his current friends, but rather a special roommate friend that he needs to make first.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 13, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Do you live anywhere near where I live?


Yes, he does.


----------



## martryn (Aug 13, 2020)

Start a petition for a martryn / DDJ rooming situation.  I will set up cameras in all public areas and film a reality type show.  We'll make millions on Patreon and YouTube.


----------



## Parallax (Aug 13, 2020)

reliability matters more than compatibility

if they can pay their rent on time and  do their chores and handle their business you take it


----------



## Jim (Aug 13, 2020)

It's possible that any roommate you find won't be interested in interacting with you at all.

It's just how roommates are.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 16, 2020)

Mider T said:


> Oh he should just ask his friends to live with him then and keep it simple.



Yes, I am planning to do that.



martryn said:


> Well, yeah.  That's what normal people would do.  But he has already stated that he hates all his friends but the one.  So he doesn't want to live with his current friends, but rather a special roommate friend that he needs to make first.



I never said that I hate my friends (they are my friends, after all); I enjoy spending time with my friends, but I said that there was only one friend whom I could tolerate as a roommate (actually, I have two friends whom I could tolerate as roommates, but one is already married with his own house, so he is not a viable option). Not coincidentally, the two friends who would make good roommates for me are extremely calm and laid-back; I do not believe that I have ever seen either of them become angry or head either of them raise their voices, so any roommate whom I have must be very calm, mellow, and a "go with the flow"-type of person.


----------



## martryn (Aug 16, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I never said that I hate my friends (they are my friends, after all); I enjoy spending time with my friends, but I said that there was only one friend whom I could tolerate as a roommate (actually, I have two friends whom I could tolerate as roommates, but one is already married with his own house, so he is not a viable option). Not coincidentally, the two friends who would make good roommates for me are extremely calm and laid-back; I do not believe that I have ever seen either of them become angry or head either of them raise their voices, so any roommate whom I have must be very calm, mellow, and a "go with the flow"-type of person.



Sometimes people interact as friends differently than they act at home.  You shouldn't discount certain friends from being potential roommates just because you think they act a certain way when you're hanging out as friends.  They might end up being super mellow in a living situation.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 16, 2020)

martryn said:


> Sometimes people interact as friends differently than they act at home.  You shouldn't discount certain friends from being potential roommates just because you think they act a certain way when you're hanging out as friends.  They might end up being super mellow in a living situation.



Perhaps that may be the case, but, I have known some of my friends for over twenty years, so I believe that I know them fairly well.


----------



## martryn (Aug 16, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Perhaps that may be the case, but, I have known some of my friends for over twenty years, so I believe that I know them fairly well.



Lasting friendships like those would imply a great roommate situation.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 16, 2020)

martryn said:


> Lasting friendships like those would imply a great roommate situation.



Two of my friends are very irritable and short-tempered, or, at least they were when we were in high school; they obviously have matured since that time, but I still can tell that they sometimes become exasperated over minor things, such as when they do not win at _Magic: the Gathering_ or other games, and I do not wish to have people who become upset so easily as my roommates.


----------



## martryn (Aug 16, 2020)

What types of situations do you think you'll find yourself where they're going to get upset living together?  Like, they won't want to take out the trash and explode at you?


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 17, 2020)

martryn said:


> What types of situations do you think you'll find yourself where they're going to get upset living together?  Like, they won't want to take out the trash and explode at you?



That is one such situation, but I also worry about them not wishing to vacuum the house, wash the dishes, wash their clothing, leaving their clothing lying around, use recreational drugs even when I forbid them from doing so, and wishing to watch a movie or listen to music that I dislike.

As a matter of fact, my parents have also said that seeking a roommate may not be the best idea for me, so they may be correct about that, because I like to have everything in my living space be a certain way, so having to share it with another person may be too difficult for me to do, although having a wife shall be a different matter.


----------



## martryn (Aug 17, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> As a matter of fact, my parents have also said that seeking a roommate may not be the best idea for me, so they may be correct about that, because I like to have everything in my living space be a certain way, so having to share it with another person may be too difficult for me to do, although having a wife shall be a different matter.



Do you dictate to your parents such details?


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 17, 2020)

martryn said:


> Do you dictate to your parents such details?



I have not said those exact words to them, but my parents know me better than any other people in the world, having raised me from birth and still living with me, today.


----------



## martryn (Aug 17, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I have not said those exact words to them, but my parents know me better than any other people in the world, having raised me from birth and still living with me, today.



What I mean is, do you require your parents to adhere to your strict living space requirements?


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 17, 2020)

martryn said:


> What I mean is, do you require your parents to adhere to your strict living space requirements?



They have been alive for much longer than I have been, and they are my parents, so there is no way that I would have any authority over them.


----------



## martryn (Aug 17, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> They have been alive for much longer than I have been, and they are my parents, so there is no way that I would have any authority over them.



But you want that authority over your roommates?  

I mean, it's cool to have certain rules that roommates have to follow for a harmonious living arrangement, but it has to be a two-way street.  They should have a say in some of the rules, too.  If they want to watch a movie in the living room, but it isn't something you care for, you really shouldn't have the right to prevent them from using the TV.  If they want to enjoy a few beers or get trashed on the couch, as long as they aren't destroying anything or neglecting their overall duties, why is that a big deal?  

Everyone understands that there is certain behavior that shouldn't be tolerated, like if they got up to loud, drunken antics multiple nights a week, or if they left empty beer cans or potato chip crumbs all over the carpet, or if they camped out in front of the TV for 14 straight hours one day, but you should honestly consider living alone if you're unwilling to compromise on at least a little bit. 

Plus, compromising with a roommate will make it easier for you to compromise with a girlfriend, and then, one day, a wife.  Because, sorry to break the news to you, you're not going to find someone that will entertain all your quirks and behave exactly as you see fit, 100% of the time.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 17, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> still living with me, today.


You mean you're still living with them.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 18, 2020)

martryn said:


> I mean, it's cool to have certain rules that roommates have to follow for a harmonious living arrangement, but it has to be a two-way street.  They should have a say in some of the rules, too.  If they want to watch a movie in the living room, but it isn't something you care for, you really shouldn't have the right to prevent them from using the TV.  If they want to enjoy a few beers or get trashed on the couch, as long as they aren't destroying anything or neglecting their overall duties, why is that a big deal?
> 
> Everyone understands that there is certain behavior that shouldn't be tolerated, like if they got up to loud, drunken antics multiple nights a week, or if they left empty beer cans or potato chip crumbs all over the carpet, or if they camped out in front of the TV for 14 straight hours one day, but you should honestly consider living alone if you're unwilling to compromise on at least a little bit.
> 
> Plus, compromising with a roommate will make it easier for you to compromise with a girlfriend, and then, one day, a wife.  Because, sorry to break the news to you, you're not going to find someone that will entertain all your quirks and behave exactly as you see fit, 100% of the time.



Of course I can compromise; only extremely egregious examples will bother me, but you do have a good point; when I do eventually have my own place, perhaps I should wait for several months, to see how I handle living by myself, before I seek a roommate.


----------



## martryn (Aug 18, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Of course I can compromise; only extremely egregious examples will bother me, but you do have a good point; when I do eventually have my own place, perhaps I should wait for several months, to see how I handle living by myself, before I seek a roommate.



I prefer living alone.  Then you can have your friends over, retaining the right to politely kick them out at the end of the night.  You can have women over.  You can host parties.  And you can do it all while having everything just the way you like it.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 18, 2020)

martryn said:


> I prefer living alone.  Then you can have your friends over, retaining the right to politely kick them out at the end of the night.  You can have women over.  You can host parties.  And you can do it all while having everything just the way you like it.



Yes, that does sound very appealing; I do hope that my various utilities will not be too expensive (but, if I live alone, the monthly expenses should not be too high).


----------



## martryn (Aug 18, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> Yes, that does sound very appealing; I do hope that my various utilities will not be too expensive (but, if I live alone, the monthly expenses should not be too high).



Don't run the air when you're not at home and buy a space heater to heat only the room you're in.  Only heat when it otherwise gets too cold, and then turn it off when you get the house to a good temperature and you can make do with the space heater to maintain the equilibrium in the one room you're using.  Rest of the utility bills are likely not going to be too high.  Heating and air are almost always the bulk of utility expenses.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 18, 2020)

martryn said:


> Don't run the air when you're not at home and buy a space heater to heat only the room you're in.  Only heat when it otherwise gets too cold, and then turn it off when you get the house to a good temperature and you can make do with the space heater to maintain the equilibrium in the one room you're using.  Rest of the utility bills are likely not going to be too high.  Heating and air are almost always the bulk of utility expenses.



That is very wise advice, indeed.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 18, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> only extremely egregious examples will bother me,


What do you consider extremely egregious?


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 18, 2020)

Mider T said:


> What do you consider extremely egregious?



I considering spilling food on the floor, leaving empty food containers lying around, playing music extremely loudly, or breaking furniture to be extremely egregious.


----------



## Mider T (Aug 18, 2020)

DemonDragonJ said:


> I considering spilling food on the floor, leaving empty food containers lying around, playing music extremely loudly, or breaking furniture to be extremely egregious.


Ah okay so you can deal with a roommate who drinks in moderation?  Cool.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 18, 2020)

Mider T said:


> Ah okay so you can deal with a roommate who drinks in moderation?  Cool.



Yes, I will not have any problem with that.


----------



## martryn (Aug 18, 2020)

Nobody does any of that stuff.  Someone spills something on the floor, make them pick it up.  That's reasonable.  Picking up after yourself is a reasonable expectation to have.


----------



## savior2005 (Aug 18, 2020)

Look realistically, you likely won't find any roommates with all these rules you are imposing. I honestly believe you're better off just living without any roommates.


----------



## DemonDragonJ (Aug 19, 2020)

savior2005 said:


> Look realistically, you likely won't find any roommates with all these rules you are imposing. I honestly believe you're better off just living without any roommates.



Yes, that may possibly be the case.


----------

