# The Horrors of Fanfiction



## InoSakuShine (Dec 29, 2006)

*The Horrors of Fanfiction*
-inspired by a hilarious icon I saw

Summary: Something sinister falls into the Naruverse. Team 7 is the first to discover the horrors of fanfiction.



*Prologue*

 In the middle of the day a sinister swirling hole broke the sky. The darkness spread like spilled milk over the unsuspecting village. Thunder roared from it's cursed depths, and flaming stars hurled out and crashed down into Konoha. *Something unnatural fell from the sky*. The black hole folded and caved, and as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. The sky was at peace once again.
*
Chapter 1: Discovery*


 "Erm...Sensei, I found a weird book," Sakura smoothed over the glossy cover.
 "It's trash," Kakashi sighed. This girl would do anything to avoid training, huh? But his hope of continuing the training was crushed by the devious child, because she caught the attention of his other students. Specifically, Naruto, and there was no way to recapture his attention. 

 "What is it?" Naruto joined Sakura in gazing at it's confusing cover. He traced his index finger over the Handwritten letters. "Top Ten Fanfictions?" For a moment he stared, transfixed. Then, "Kakashi-sensei? What's fanfictions?"

 Now Kakashi hovered over the thick book. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "But I've heard it before. Hm, this is what they call fanfiction?" Without warning Sakura flipped open the cover to reveal the first page. Everyone's eyes, including Sasuke's skimmed over the first "fanfiction."

_A Lonely Night
by Saku_Fan22
Rated: M w// lotz of lemon!!!!!KakaSaku!

 It was really cold out and Sakura shivered. She was nervous because she was going over to his house for some unsuspected fun. When she got there a man with silver hair opened the door and......_ 

 But it didn't stop there. Somehow, they read all the way to the end of evil, evil Saku_Fan22's twisted fantasy. The book slid out of Sakura's hands and thudded onto the grass. They slowly backed away.

 "Oh my god," Kakashi uttered, knowing he wouldn't ever look or talk to Sakura again.
 "What the-" Naruto twitched, and glanced at Sakura who was covering her mouth and suffering the pain of shock.
 "Ew," Sasuke put simply.
 "Oh my god! That's where babies come from?" Naruto pointed one accusing finger at the wretched book.


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## Production (Dec 29, 2006)

""Oh my god! That's where babies come from?" Naruto pointed one accusing finger at the wretched book."

LOL.

That was a good read, reps xD


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## Tha#1Stunna (Dec 29, 2006)

LOLZ!!!  Naruto is sooo stupid!!!  Ewwwww!!!  KakaSaku!!  That's wrong!!!  So are these like your favs?


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## WarmasterCain55 (Dec 29, 2006)

I was hoping that something like this would appear and now it has!!!!!!!!!I love this, keep it up.  Do KakaAnko next and NaruSaku.


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## Pugthug (Dec 29, 2006)

Great fic the most original fanific out there right now. I know this is uber n00b of me, but as clueless Naruto was about where babies come from I am clueless on what the actual meaning of lemon is on these forums. People want me to have this so called "lemon" in my fanfic, but i don't have the slightest idea of what it is.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Dec 29, 2006)

I got a good one for you. GaaraxSakura and TsunadexJiraiya


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## Kyon (Dec 29, 2006)

Wow, that was a well-written slap in the face to bad fanfiction.

Reps 4 u.


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Dec 29, 2006)

Lawlz. That was awesome.


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## InoSakuShine (Dec 30, 2006)

I'll take all your suggestions into consideration for later chapters. BTW, constructive critisism is welcome. For now, enjoy:

*Chapter 2: Plots*


 "Hn? Where did he go?"
 They all knew Kakashi was fast, but they had never seen him move that fast! Before they could, if they would, grab that cursed book for their own greedy purposses, Kakashi had snatched it up and disappeared, leaving Naruto with the shivers and no comforting explanation about how babies were made. He had said something about destroying it and vanished. 

 Sakura was relieved he was gone. She wracked her mind for some answers: Why would somebody ever write something so horrible? Something that couldn't possibly come true? Why? Why? But no one had it worse than Naruto, who Sasuke watched pathetically whimpering against a tree. He rocked back and forth, back and forth.

 "B-B-But what a-about the stork?"


 "A-A-And then, it said...." Sakura cried to Ino, who was sitting patiently on her bed, sucking all the delicious gossip up. Finally, she got up.
 "That's some book! Fanfiction you called it?" Ino asked.
 "Yeah...what, you like it? Your so sick! You perv!" Sakura glared at her. "Hey, where are you going?"
 "Well...." She left her answer blank, and walked out the door with troublesome plots brewing in her simple head. She turned her back on the shrieking cries of "KAKASAKU, INO! KAKASAKU!" and set off with a greedy look in her eye and a new, twisted hunger clawing at her insides.


 That thing was on his dresser. He eyed it resentfully, knowing it's power. 
 "I'll destroy you first thing tommorow," Kakashi told it, staring it straight in the cover. He was utterly exhausted, because he used up so much energy escaping his own students. As if he wasn't tired enough from the training. Before he could glare at the deranged stories once more he found himself falling backwards onto his bed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, clothes and all. However, he didn't rest easy with the dreams he had that night.
_
 He appeared to have woken up. He was still groggy, but there was this surprising feeling deep in his stomach....or lower. There was a knock at the door. He picked himself up, and thrust open the door. Sakura stood in the doorway, wearing a black lacy bra and underwear that he remembered so vividly from Icha Icha Paradise. No....it wasn't Icha Icha Paradise. It was that book of fanfiction! If only he could remember what happened next. Sakura smiled and waved something in the air. It was some small square package.

 "Hey. It's vanilla this time," she giggled. Then he remembered._
 "*Noooooo*!"

 Kakashi jerked upright in his bed, sweating. "Just a dream," he assured himself. Re-establishing his "cool", he rose from bed. But he lost it again. *The dangerous, omnipotent book was gone.*


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## Kyon (Dec 30, 2006)

No criticism from me, this is quite well written, if short.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Dec 30, 2006)

Not bad, but make it longer next time, yeah?


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## kyuubi no ninetails (Dec 30, 2006)

lol omg  so thats were babies come  from lol rofl lol lmfao lol oh man  gasp falls on floor dies minutes later.....................


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## InoSakuShine (Dec 30, 2006)

Sorry for the shortness, I always have problems making writing long. I'll try to make them longer so hopefully next update you'll see improvement. In fact, I promise *next update will be longer.*

*
Chapter 3: Yaoi?*


 As they feared the book had indeed fallen into the wrong hands. Those smooth, flower scented hands. The hands of Ino. Inside her bedroom, it was just her, and the book. Her door was shut, so know one heard her.

 "So you're what they call fanfiction?" She giggled, her eyes absorbing it's glossy cover. To answer her the book opened and it's pages ruffled. "What's this? Read you?" She drew closer and her eyes widened. She coudln't believe what she was reading.

_Not Alone
by Yaoi~luva
WARNING: Pure yaoi SasuNaru!_

 "Ooh, *what's yaoi*?" She said, puzzled.

_"Okay, this is going to hurt," Naruto said to Sasuke and ....._

 As she read on her eyes grew wider, and wider, and wider, and wider, and a pool of drool dripped from her mouth. Finally she screamed.
 "I want MORE!" She roared. Without warning the door banged open and Naruto entered, huffing. "Hey, what are you doing barging in like that?" She demanded. 

 "Hand it over!" He said, his eyes wandering to the open page.
 "Curious, are you? Hey, I found a really good one. You know you want to read it..." 
 "I don't want to read about how babies are made!"
 "But it's not that at all. Babies can't be made like this...."

 The petunias needed watering, the roses needed trimming, and the buttercups had to be moved. Ino's mom was having a busy day, so she didn't have time to pay attention to her daughter. She expected some illegal activity up in her room, but she didn't feel like checking it out. After all, these daffodils are so much more quieter than Ino. So, she refused so confront her, even when the ear-splitting scream of some boy pierced her ears.

 Ino smacked Naruto, annoyed that he had vomited on her carpet. "What the hell did you do that for?"

 "Sasuke....I hate you," he spluttered, wiping the corners of his mouth. "Must...destroy!" He chucked the book out Ino's window.
 "No! You idiot!"
 "I destroyed it!" He said. "It's...evil. No person should ever, ever read that stuff. Oh god..." He turned over and gagged again.
 "Idiot. *Throwing it out the window isn't destroying it*!"


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## kyuubi no ninetails (Dec 30, 2006)

man lol good update


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## Tha#1Stunna (Dec 30, 2006)

Please don't tell me that package Sakura had isn't what I think it was.........?  LOL Yaoi is something no man should ever have to read, I totally understand how Naruto feels and would have also puked on Ino's carpet.  Make it a NaruSaku next!!!  Or a NaruIno!!  Better yet; NaruHina!!!!!  YAY!!


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Dec 30, 2006)

That was so awesome. Poor Naruto-kun...


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## HudanTatshi (Dec 30, 2006)

naru ino i would like 2 see her face after that or better yet Shika with every girl in konoha i can see that if he gets the book


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## Jazz (Dec 30, 2006)

I know what Icon you got it from


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## Abyss of Dreams (Dec 30, 2006)

you finished the last fanfic and now started this totally awesome fanfic!! I love it!! I love chap 3, hilarious!! "But it's not that at all. Babies can't be made like this...." PRICELESS!! I want more!!!....please lol


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## Jazz (Dec 30, 2006)

You should have Rock Lee or Neji find it and read some HinaTen Yuri! lol


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## WarmasterCain55 (Dec 30, 2006)

Yeah, WE WANT YURI!!! Do Sakura and Ino and Anko together.  I really want to see their reactions.


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## InoSakuShine (Dec 30, 2006)

I'm happy some of you are picking up on my more subtle little jokes   Anyway, for all you freaks out there the next chapter is going to be some yuri so get ready. Enjoy this, for now. And Team PWN, actually, that's not the icon I got it from  Err, is this...um, _slightly longer_? Just a little maybe? 

*Chapter 4: The Book of the Future*


 It flew in the air, it's papery wings spread, searching for it's next victim. When it found a worthy canidate, it descended. Neji was startled when someting crashed into the side of his head. He was battered aside, and looked murderously at the book in front of him. It was labeled *Top Ten Fanfictions*.

 "What a nuisance. I will destroy you," he threatened it, and aimed a kick at it. The book merely flipped open to a fresh new page. "Wait a minute..." 

Nothing usually attracted Neji's attention, but the fact that this page had his name on it drew his blank eyes in. He scanned the thing called a fanfiction.

_Free Again
by Byakugan EyEz
My best fic yet! (NejiHina)
Fluffy && angst! Rated PG13 but R for later chapters.

Chapter One

 It was time to apologize to her. He felt like the mark on his head activated the walls he threw around himself when people tried to talk to him, but now he knew he was free and it was time to open up. He knocked on her door, and Hinata opened up. She was surprised to see him.
 "N-N-Neji!" He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes.
 "Hinata. I want to say something. I'm sorry."_

 He read on and thought, was it destiny that brought him this message? But then he found out that destiny would never be this cruel.

_Chapter Three

"It's okay. I-I'm so g-glad we're...." She stuttered, and he put a finger to her lips.
 "Shh, I'll show you how happy I am." He takes off her shirt and kissed her. 
 "Oh, Neji! I love you! I love you!" She undressed some more and soon he was on top of her. "Harder-"_

 "SHE'S MY COUSIN! MY COUSIN! WHO WROTE THIS?" Neji dropped to his knees, the shock still stung. "Is this m-my destiny? It can't be? This that shot at me from the heavens, *is it telling my future*?" 

 "Ouch, can you say birth defects?" Kurenai watched Neji shouting to the sky with some pity. She walked over, picked up the "fortune teller," and carried it back to a safe haven. Neji was in too much agony to notice, thinking he could not have been picked a more cruel fate.


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## Kyon (Dec 30, 2006)

Awesome. But that wasn't really all that much longer XDDDDD

Oh well. It's good, it delivers, it's alright.


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## Jazz (Dec 30, 2006)

Yessshh! I swayed you to do yuri! (nice chapter


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Dec 30, 2006)

Aw, poor Neji. Maybe he should go jump off a cliff. 
...Nah, I'm just kinding. *is a liar*


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## HudanTatshi (Dec 31, 2006)

if i were neji i would jump off a clif fo sho after readin that and when will shika get the book i want him 2 read him with an orgy of women


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## Sho Minamimoto (Dec 31, 2006)

*laughs so hard and dies* *demons try to drag me down*
"Hey!  Stay away!  I did my time allready"  *fights them off and wins*
SHAAAA!
ahem, anyways, nice chaps!  You should probably put in shinhina...did I spell that right...? and then do something ironic like, Gaara and oh! Haku!  sounds good ya?


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## HudanTatshi (Dec 31, 2006)

i think ^^^ should go back or at least go say hi to the devil 4 me


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## Steven Pinhead (Dec 31, 2006)

Greatness!


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## bumike99 (Dec 31, 2006)

Lol that was great i feel bad for Neji... Thinks it's his 'destiny' lol


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## kyuubi no ninetails (Dec 31, 2006)

lol  man   it  had  my  rolling lmao   SHE'S ME COUSIN MY COUSIN  lol lmao............................lmfao lololololo  man    lolololololololol  drops  to floor  same  demon that  came for  twilight comes *hey im not  dead cant a guy drop to the  floor  and nerly  chokes just be  left  alone*snif........................................snif i thought i had  one  this time*


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## Abyss of Dreams (Dec 31, 2006)

OMG! That's the best chap for me yet!! "SHE'S MY COUSIN! MY COUSIN! WHO WROTE THIS?" omg total funny!! keep makin more!! please


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## Tha#1Stunna (Dec 31, 2006)

LOL OMG I can't believe you added Hyuugacest in there!!  That's sick!!  Unless it's Hinata x Hanabi it's cool.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Dec 31, 2006)

That's not the worse of it.  I heard of Uchihacest and Sandcest.  Can you imagine haveing sex with a kid like Gaara????


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## Sho Minamimoto (Dec 31, 2006)

kyuubi no ninetails said:


> lol  man   it  had  my  rolling lmao   SHE'S ME COUSIN MY COUSIN  lol lmao............................lmfao lololololo  man    lolololololololol  drops  to floor  same  demon that  came for  twilight comes *hey im not  dead cant a guy drop to the  floor  and nerly  chokes just be  left  alone*snif........................................snif i thought i had  one  this time*



yah, not so easy is it?



> i think ^^^ should go back or at least go say hi to the devil 4 me



are you nuts?  first off, that's hell.  I came from (and currently in) pergatory.


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## Steven Pinhead (Dec 31, 2006)

Gaara of the Desert said:


> That's not the worse of it.  I heard of Uchihacest and Sandcest.  Can you imagine haveing sex with a kid like Gaara????



Hey, those sand techniques present interesting possiblities. (If you're into stuff like that.)


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## fists (Jan 1, 2007)

why don't have hinata get the book and read a naruhina lemon ffic


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## Trademark_Trickster (Jan 1, 2007)

Most hilarious thing ever...

My suggestions: 

Have Sasuke find it and be tormented by Uchihacest. >3

Have Gaara or Lee find a fic written about them. 

Jiriya finding one with him and any male. 

Any two characters that hate eachother. XD


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## shendaime (Jan 1, 2007)

have tsunade find a narutoXtsunade lemon fic


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## Suzie (Jan 1, 2007)

InoSakuShine said:


> As she read on her eyes grew wider, and wider, and wider, and wider, and a pool of drool dripped from her mouth. Finally she screamed.
> "I want MORE!" She roared. Without warning the door banged open and Naruto entered, huffing. "Hey, what are you doing barging in like that?" She demanded.



I LOVE that  

This is awesome, Nice Job.


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 1, 2007)

i just want to see shika's face if he find it and reads 1 with him in an orgy with women


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## Castitas Lilium (Jan 1, 2007)

My only comment on the NejiHina chapter is that Neji shouldn't have reacted like that. NARUTO is going by Japanese standards, ergo, Neji is thinking with a Japanese brain. In Japan and MANY other countries, cousinxcousin relationships are common (often preferred in some families) and are not looked upon as wrong at all. That's my only bad comment though, Ino being an obsessive yaoi-fangirl is just awesome.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 1, 2007)

I want to see Tsunade's face when she reads Tsunade and Jiraiya fic.  That is priceless.


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 1, 2007)

Sorry about the NejiHina thing, I'm so american...
Also, I planned this whole thing out. You won't believe the one after this. Anyway, tell me if anything goes wrong with this. Also, just for the record, this is the only happening once: just for you yuri fans XD
*

Chapter 5: Do they know?*


 "This is the book Kakashi told me about," Kurenai said, bouncing the luminous book on her lap. 
 "Well, let's have a look," probed the voice next to her, Anko, whose finger was gently prying open the cover.
 "I don't know, Kakashi said not to read it. I never saw him so edgy before."
 Anko smirked. "I have. But Kakashi never wants to have any fun." Under the pressure of her finger the books cover flapped open, and it flew to a random page. It's layout and words emitted an inviting glow that begged to be read. Both of them cautiously read what was percieved as so dangerous.

_Untitled
by SakuIno4life
not yet titled but complete!
Rated R yuri- KurenaixAnko


 Anko was in her basement showing Kurenai her favorite weapons. For some reason she was wearing very sexy, lacey clothes, so different from that regular fishnet. She led her to the farthest corner in the dark mysterious place.
 "And this is my windmill shuriken," she told her, motioning to a sharp bladed weapon. Kurenai nodded her head and her dark hair settled back on her shoulders.
 "That's all nice, but Anko? Why did you really bring me here?" She asked innocently, knowing she didn't give a damn about Anko's shuriken. Anko smiled.

 "Wait. I wanted to show you my favorite weapon. This way," she said and led her to a velvety bed. "Sit." As Kurenai did so she snapped out handcuffs. "I'm going to use it on you so you have to put these on." Kurenai held out her hands willingly and sighed. This wasn't the first time Anko wanted to show her something, and she had an idea of what was going to happen next. *She watched as Anko reached into a drawer and pulled out something....*.._

 Mouths open, they finished. Kurenai drew a deep breath. "Oh god. Do you think they know?"
 "I don't know..." Anko replied, sliding her hand up her thigh. "All we can do is destory this and hope no one else read it. Too bad..."
 "Yeah, that book was pretty orgasmic." 

  Anko smiled pleasently. "*Why don't we turn that piece of fiction into fact? I mean, SakuIno4life had some good ideas...." *Kurenai and Anko suddenly became too busy to demolish the Fanfiction, so the book planned it's escape for the given three hours.

 When Sasuke came bursting in for the book, he met an unpleasent surprise.
 "J-Just take it Go!!" Anko shouted, aggravated at being interrupted, but by no means did they stop for him, which is why he could be seen running from Kurenai's house choking, with a book tucked under his arm.


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## Jazz (Jan 1, 2007)

Jesus tap dancing christ, that's funny. Oh and Anko wears metal mesh armor. not fishnets.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 1, 2007)

LOOOOL, LOVED it, keep them coming.


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## Abyss of Dreams (Jan 1, 2007)

OMG!! TOTAL FUNNY!! GO YURI!! I can't believe the out come, really surprising, i like it!! Me want more XD


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## Chee (Jan 1, 2007)

Oooo! Sasuke is next! Very funny, update soon!


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 2, 2007)

wow my mouth hasnt dropped so far b4


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## Castitas Lilium (Jan 2, 2007)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.

YURI!


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 2, 2007)

Next update will be what you guys been wanting! Give me your feedback...is it getting sloppy?


*Random Horror*


"I don't know why people read you," he said, but more to himself. Sasuke Uchiha didn't talk to books, but the Fanfics were calling him. He avoided it's gaze but heard the book open, by itself. But it could have been the wind. Whatever it was knew Sasuke's weakness, because he happened to glimspe the name Itachi and stiffened.

Shuddering, he looked the book full in the page. 

_Forgiven
by Mickychan
*SasukexItachi*
with *fanart included*!_

 And when Mickychan said fanart included, she meant mostly pictures of Itachi and his little brother getting it on. When Sasuke was finished, well, his reaction was indescribable. He didn't know whether to throw up becaust some sick indivisual would draw a picture and write about him doing horrible things with his older brother, that happened to just murder his whole family and ruin his life, or scream at the fact that the title was labeled "Forgiven," or so go home and cut himself. However, it did change his life. He was no longer obsessed with Itachi, but his new life goal was to take revenge on Mickychan, no matter what the cost.

 The poor Uchiha made like  Hinata and fainted. Hinata herself was just yards away, peeking behind a tree. Naruto had sent her to help, and she had willingly obliged. When she saw Sasuke actually faint, she wondered what treachery this book possesed. Nervously, she summoned the courage to go over to it. She plucked the book from Sasuke's twitching grasp and ran for it. She had been told not to make eye contact with fanfiction, because the titles are what draw you in.

 And the hipocrit that gave her that advice snatched it from her arms with a quick,"Thanks, your the best!" and opened the book.

 "N-Naruto! Maybe y-you shouldn't. It's dnagerous..." Hinata protested weakly, but Naruto's eyes were fixed on the book of evil.

_No, read me. I believe you will become Hokage_, it said to him, _I believe in you_. And Naruto was deep into the chapter.

_Failure's Love
NaruHina
by BlueKitsune_

 "N-N-Naruto? W-What is it? Is it bad?" Naruto turned around with tears burning it his eyes.
 "This is the greatest...and only sory I've ever read. The kind that make you laugh and cry.." Sniff. "You know..."
 "W-What is it?"
 "Well, heh, funny you should ask. It's really good but, well," He started to laugh. "I mean, it's about me and you! Falling in love! Can you believe that?" Her mouthed dropped into an "O". "*I mean, how random*! Who wold ever write a NaruHina, ha. Funny, right, Hinata?" Anyway, he thought to himself, whoever wrote this knows his secret, about his demon. That was the part he found compelling. 

 He hugged the book to his chest, planning to burn it. No one could know. Nope, he wouldn't even keep it to read some more yuri.


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## fists (Jan 2, 2007)

yes a naruhina part keep going and nice update


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## SomaX (Jan 2, 2007)

Best update yet.


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## Chee (Jan 2, 2007)

Not a NaruHina fan but that was cute. xDDD


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## Jazz (Jan 2, 2007)

It was kinda sloppy,but funny nonetheless


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## Abyss of Dreams (Jan 2, 2007)

awesome!! you should've made hinata faint, or she has but I didn't read it, but super great


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## Steven Pinhead (Jan 3, 2007)

The AnkoKurenai part was funny.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 3, 2007)

Yeah, that was priceless to see sasuke choke.


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## Tha#1Stunna (Jan 3, 2007)

LOL This is getting better with each update!!  Keep it up!!


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## Sho Minamimoto (Jan 3, 2007)

wow...that Naruhina was...*ahem* anyways, I enjoyed that one with Anko and Kurenai.  "Do they know?"  hahahaha!  That's something only I would say...um...just ignore that.

Dude-um- dude...-et, you should put Gaara and Haku in it!


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## hinatasboyfriendforever (Jan 6, 2007)

more naruhina NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hinata reading the book would be great, especially if it was dirty or very explanatory. read my stoty [naruto and hinata's big mission] for inpiration or hinata gets naughty! PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!! back me up naruhina lovers! tell him more! MORE!!! MORE!!! MOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 6, 2007)

It's been a while, sorry. This one is _not_ that great but I know most of you want some Shikatema so....The next one should be better.


*Lazy*

 Naruto's brilliant plan crashed when he realised he didn't have the provisions necassary to complete it. As in,
 "Damn. I don't have a match..." He decided to shirk off the responsibility ad dump it off on the nearest responsible Jounin.
 Asuma knew better not to read it, but neither did he want to be responsible for such a dark thing. So he did what any adult would to. Dump their responsibilities on a kid.

 "No way, give this to who? More work?" Shikamaru groaned.
 "Now Shikamaru, growing older means you have to have more responsibility. Do me this favor and give that to Kakashi." Shikamaru stared at the book that was shoved into his arms. Reluctantly, he took the book and shuffled away. On the cover he read "Top Ten Fanfiction," but it didn't interest him in the slightest.

 "Where am I going to find Kakashi? What a drag," he sighed, and decided to take a break. He rested himself on the ground, watching the clouds roll by. The wind rustled the grass and the book began to open a page.

 "Stay shut," Shikamaru shut it with the palm of his hand. The cover seemed to push harder abd harder against him until Shikamaru relented, because it was too much work. The pages flipped to something with at least two words that Shikamaru decided to check out. What words could make him produce effort?

_Cloud Temari
by Tema_Grl
Rated M
Summary: Temari wants to "enjoy and activity" with Shika other than watching clouds, but he just can't get the hint.

 Temari lay with Shikamaru watching the clouds like he like to.
 "This is boring," she told him.
 "Well where do you suggest we go?" He moaned, too lazy to get up.
 "How about my house? We can go in my room and do *all kinds of activities..." *She raised her eyebrows at him.
 "Yeah right. Like what? What's better than doing nothing?" He asked ignorantly. 
 Her voice was laced with seductiveness. "We can work up a sweat..."
 "Temari, I thought you knew me. I don't like to work."
 "Okay," she snapped. "I'll do all of the work. You an just lay back and enjoy...." He shrugged and soon he was dragged forcefully to Temari's room. She made him lay down.
 "So what do you want me to do?" She asked.
 "I don't know. You brought me here. You said I didn't have to do anything." He pointed out. Temari licked her lips.
 "Well," she smiled, "I feel like sucking something."
 "Well geez, get a popsicle." Shika wondered why Temari was behaving so strangely, and Temari wondered if she was unattractive. But then she knew she had to make it clearer to him. She...._ 

 Shikamaru, at that point, dropped the book.
 "I knew you were nothing but trouble," he said, irritated. "Besides,* I'm not that stupid*, and why would I do anything with Temari? She wants to kill me."
 For an answer, the book flipped to another page.

_ "Are you trying to kill me?" Shikamaru asked, when she was done handcuffing him to the bed. She took out a whip from her closet._

 "I didn't need to see that! Geez..." He rubbed his head and yawned. "Women are so troublesome. Especially that one," he pointed to the fanfic. He began to doze and fell asleep with disturbing dreams.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 6, 2007)

Its better then nothing.  Good work, that is exactly what i expected of him.


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## Abyss of Dreams (Jan 6, 2007)

wusn't as funny!?! are kiddin, I thought it was super funny >.< The way you made Temari say "I wanna suck something" and Shika replying "Go get a popsicle" OMG that totally made me lol


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## Tha#1Stunna (Jan 6, 2007)

Shika is so lazy he even finds it "troublesome" to become aroused at something LOL XD


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 7, 2007)

BET you didn't see this one coming...! Hey, please give me more suggestions, people. I need a good Gaara one.


*Better than Food*



Shikamaru's heavy eyelids opened lazily. He felt himself laying in the soft grass, relaxed as ever. He didn't even mind that the book that was next to him before was gone. He rather stay and watch grass grow... He didn't worry about who had taken it. Actually, it had fallen into the chubby fingers of his best friend, Choji. *Choji soon found out that books could be better than food.*

 Crumbs of snacks littered the indignant book. Choji hovered over it's cover; he had never really liked to read, especially not for fun. He figured this "fanfiction" stuff must be boring, since it put Shikamaru to sleep. Then again, anything put him to sleep. 

 Like that time they were watching an..."_erotic parady_" at Asuma-sensei's house, Shikamaru fell fast asleep while he himself watched intently. Or, it could have been that pill Ino slipped into his drink. Once he fell asleep she dragged him into another room and....
 Anyway, the book looked normal as far as he was concerned. What interested him was how it smelled. He leaned over and the sweet scent of chocolate engulfed his senses. The book slowly unfolded to reaveal a fresh new story. Maybe, Choji thought, it was about chocolate. But this, he realised, was *better* than chocolate.

_On the Inside
by Chiaman
InoxChoji- very original!!!
R&R enjoy the lemon~!

                      Chapter 4

 "Well what's your favorite flavor?" Ino asked impatiently. 
 "What do you got?" He replied. She shifted through a box.
 "Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla...."
 "Do you have any chicken?" Choji asked.
 "Ew! No!" She siad, disturbed. "Besides...your not the one who has to taste it."_ 

 As Choji read on he found that they were _not_ talking about food. The letters became blurred and hard to read under the immense fountain of drool Choji dispensed from his mouth.

 "OH YEAH! ME AND INO! I HAVE A CHANCE!" He tucked the book under his couch cusion, and ran up his stairs faster than he could have ever run before. He bulldozed the door to his parent's room and charged in. For minutes he rummaged through his mom's drawers, his dad's drawers, the closet, but remained unsuccessful. Finally he dropped to his knees and reached under the ned. He found what he was looking for. 
 Choji stumbled down his front steps carrying a box under one arm, and a book tucked under the other, yelling, "Ino! Here I come!"

 Ino was busy in her room when somebody furiously knocked on the door.
 "Naruto it's not my problem!" Ino shouted.
 "It's not Naruto!"
 "Oh, then, Asuma-Sensei I'm not training today!" She hollered.
 "It's not Asuma!"
 "Shikamaru I said I'm sorry already, I didn't know sleeping pills weren't supposed to be mixed with alcohaul!"
 "It's not Shikamru!" She raised her head.
 "K-Kiba? You ignore me all this time and _now_ you take responsibility for the baby?"
 "Baby?" Choji pushed open the door. "What are you talking about?" As expected, she welcomed him with open arms and a wide grin. "Ino!"
 "You've got the book!" She dodged his embrace and pried the book from his arms.

 "How do you know about it?" He asked, watching her thumb through the pages.
 "I just know."
 "Hey, I found something in it, I thought, that maybe you wanna try?" She peered at him suspiciously, and he showed her the story he had read before. Choji went to use the bathroom. when he came back Ino was gone, and so was the book. There was a note waiting for him. It said:

_That was disgusting. Just disgusting.
Sorry hun. You wish. I'm not *that* easy. I'm going to destroy this monstrocity.
-Ino _

 The box he was holding fell to the ground and the stuff inside it scattered everywhere. Ino's mom would probably have a heart attack later.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 7, 2007)

That was funny. The best InoxCho one i seen yet.  As for the Gaara one.  GAARAxSAKURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## mortalone (Jan 8, 2007)

Are these fanfics real? (As in, are you finding real fanfics and quoting small pieces of them?)


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## Mr-Kory (Jan 8, 2007)

ha funnyest FF i love it


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## Aroku (Jan 8, 2007)

haha.. your fanfics are so damn funny!!


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## Tha#1Stunna (Jan 8, 2007)

Please don't tell me the stuff in that package wasn't some of the stuff I expect it to be.....?


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## ansoRATH (Jan 8, 2007)

lmao. More, please! XD


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 9, 2007)

Same as last time . Garaa is in the next chapter, but I think you'll find this one amusing enough. None of these fanfics have been real up until now. This fanfiction used is real, and one you might know  Enjoy. Also be warned. The second fanfiction was about to get a little graphic.


*To the Hokage*



 Iruka was surprised when his former student handed him a book.
 "Ino, what's this?" He asked. The blonde girl whispered in his ear and he yelped. She darted away. 
 "I was doing what in which fanfic?" He wretched open the book, eager to find what she was talking about.

_IrukaxKakashixNaruto
by DBZgrl_

_ Iruka is the only person Kakashi will take his mask off for. Iruka liked him for that. That and because he knew the shadow clone jutsu. He liked the shadow clone jutsu because it was double the fun. Like last saturday night, when Kakashi used it he was able to...._

 Perhaps he shoudln't have been so eager, especially the part where Naruto came in "This has to go right to the Hokage, right away!" Iruka, red with embarassment and green with sickness marched straight to the Hokage's office. There to greet him was only Shizune.

 "She's not in right now, I'll make sure she gets it," she said taking it from him. She vowed not to read it, and Iruka left.

 Tsunade arrived hours later, that night she had more affairs to attend to. She came in grumpy and irritable, and was slouching away when Shizune mentioned, "An Academy teacher called Iruka dropped something off a few hours ago. It's on your sidetable. *Some book*."
 "Oh?" She nodded her head ad entered her office, which seemed more like her second home. Everything was as she left it, except a peculiar book lay on a table in the corner. She went to it and studied it's cover. 
 "Top Ten Fanfiction?" What more, she sighed and opened it's contents. "What is this now....?"

_Tsunade Jiraiya
by Santa Claus
(warning you will never be the same after reading this!)

"You... you... fucking perv!" Tsunade yells socking Jiraiya yet again. Jiraiya is sent flying toward the wall, and crashes there.

Jiraiya gets up, smiling, bleeding on his face. "Come on, Tsunade. You know You wanna be fucked. To feel like a woman again." the sage said taking his shirt off.


Tsunade closed her eyes. Of course she wanted to feel it. But... she was scared. "No, Jiraiya. Stop." she says worrily. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel good. I make love softly to you." he reassured.

Tsunade thought over it. Softly, or hard. Thrashing or slow movement. She thought long and hard.... Long and hard...

She remembered how good it felt when her boyfriends made sweet love to her, but she also remembered when boyfriends fucked her so hard, she could not move.

"Jiraiya... I want you to do me right. Hard." she said grinning. Jiraiya gasped, and ripped his shirt and pants off.

Tsunade looked at his naked flesh. He was damn good looking, all muscle and pecks. "Lets go." he said and jumped on her...._

 Slowly backed away. Her mouth was open. Tsunade heard a swiveling sound and snapped her head in her desk's direction. Her swivel chair swung around to reveal someone sitting in it, who had been there all that time. 

*"So, how about it, baby?" Jiraiya grinned*, rubbing his hands together.

 Shizune was a little worried when she heard the horrific screams echoing from Tsuande's office, but grew to get used to it. What made her more never was *the trickle of blood *that was eeking through the doorway. She frowned and went back to her work.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 9, 2007)

I actually read that fic.  That was hilarious.


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## Jazz (Jan 9, 2007)

OMG, u used Santa's lolololol!


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## HudanTatshi (Jan 9, 2007)

lmao i remembered when i read that prevy gold


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 9, 2007)

People deserve to know about this fic.  I will advertise to no end. *points to sig*


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## Abyss of Dreams (Jan 9, 2007)

that was an awesome chapter!! so hilarious


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Jan 9, 2007)

I loved the one with Sasuke. He SO deserved finding that ItaSasu crap.


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## Tha#1Stunna (Jan 9, 2007)

OMG I can't believe you put yaoi in there...............................


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## Vance (Jan 9, 2007)

Holy shit... I have throw up in my mouth, awesome fic. But I think I need some therapy now...


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## Rotc Girl (Jan 9, 2007)

Nice fic, reps for you!!!


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## Mr-Kory (Jan 10, 2007)

Bohahahaha awesome again yes some reps for you


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## Traveler (Jan 10, 2007)

I just wish that you didn't streotype Naruto into being so stupid...


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## Trademark_Trickster (Jan 11, 2007)

*Reps. :3 

This is so hilarious I'm sharing it with RL friends. *


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## Chatulio (Jan 11, 2007)

Christ on a tricycle


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## mr_yenz (Jan 11, 2007)

Haha, that's just awesome. >D


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## muffinsecks. (Jan 12, 2007)

It must be hard getting ideas, but they're all so good, and hilarious!


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## Swehaan (Jan 12, 2007)

Great one, keep it up!


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## Sho Minamimoto (Jan 12, 2007)

*drools in front of comp.* ahem, *wipes drool off*  I cant believe Tsunade would do such a thing!  But then again...it is Jiraiya.  Nice update.  Make one soon ya?


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## abichan (Jan 12, 2007)

Hey uh...in the INOCHO chap. what was the stuff in the box? i know im ignorant, but i wanna know.
is there any more chaps inosaku?


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## Orga777 (Jan 12, 2007)

LMAO! This is great. A fanfiction parody about fanfictions. LOL. keep up the good work.


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 13, 2007)

Sorry for the shortness 
*
Scarred for Life*


Jiraiya, bleeding and wounded, landed "thump" on his butt, shatterd pieces of glass falling after him. After he crashed through the window, he sulked for a bit, cursing the horrible book that he still clutched in his bleeding hands. Thoughtfully, he rubbed his chin.

 "I have to get rid of this. Too much competition for Icha Icha Paradise..." He picked himself up, painfully and gruffly, and limped away, searching for some means of destruction.

 Soon enough, he found one.
 "Hey kid! This is for you!" Jiraya showed the evil book to some random kid, who looked dangerous enough. Garaa looked at it as if it were a bomb ready to explode, but when you're Garra you kind of have to think that way. 
 "What is it?" He said, alarmed.
 "For you! Has your name it!" Jiraiya teased. Garaa evaluated the suspicious book an ground his teeth. He finally took it in his uncertain hands. Jiraiya gave one look at the kid and that intimidating guord on his back and slipped away. Garaa stared at the book. He heard two more people approaching.


 "Hey, Garaa, what you got there?" Temari asked her little brother kindly, peeking over to him. Kankouro joined his sister. They found  Garaa, deeply absorbed in something he was reading. They watched him in silence.

_Dreams
by nekogaraa
GaraaxSakura!
Rated R

 Sakura and Garaa had been married for two years now, but sometimes she wished he didn't have all that sand that reacted with his feelings. There were times when they would get in an argument, and the sand would peck at her like tiny needles. But sometimes there was THOSE times, like today. 

She had just woken up from a nap and found sand in a very uncomfortable place. 
 "Garaa is so demanding!" Sakura said to herself, irritated, but she knew she would have to give him what he wanted...._

 "Garaa? Are you okay?" Temari questioned, seeing his eyes grow wider with terror with each word after. "Garaa?" She cringed as the book fell out of his hands and sand flew up around him. The sand formed a hard ball around him. They had a feeling that he wasn't coming out. *Ever again. *

Kankouro reached out to grab the book that he thought must be treasure, but it had it's own path to follow. 

 A quick little kid shot out from the shadows and snatched the demonic book.
 "Hey! Come back here!" Kankouro shouted, waving his fist in the air.
 "See ya, suckers!" Konohamaru yelled, and headed for his secret base, planning to find out, along with his friends, exactly were babies *truly did come from.*


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## abichan (Jan 13, 2007)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i betcha I know what knohamaru in gonna read!!!! Tehehehehehe!


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## Orga777 (Jan 13, 2007)

Jeeze, the book is like the Ring of Power! It always seems to escape destruction!


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 13, 2007)

YES, A GAARAxSAKURA PAIRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## chishio-kun (Jan 13, 2007)

Keep up the good work! Looking forward to the next chapter.


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Jan 13, 2007)

Poor Gaara... *pats Gaara* 
Awesome work.


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## iwakura (Jan 13, 2007)

omg lol this is fun


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## Mr-Kory (Jan 14, 2007)

awesome gaara chap


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## Jazz (Jan 14, 2007)

Oh God, please tell me the Konohamaru chap won't be what I think it is... *is sick to stomach*


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## iwakura (Jan 14, 2007)

me want more


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## Swehaan (Jan 14, 2007)

There are reasons for prayer, and usually they are summed up in something like "Oh God! Please no! No!!!!..." And so on.

The prospect of Konohamaru getting his snotty hands on the book is indeed quite chilling.


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## abichan (Jan 14, 2007)

Where's the new update?


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 14, 2007)

Thanks for reading, everyone. Hey Garaa of the Desert, thanks for advertising y fic. Good idea. From now on anyone that puts the fanfiction icon in their sig gets rep from me . Here's an update...

*Cut Short*



 "So this is it," Udon sniffed, as all three kids stared at the thing called "Fanfiction."
 "The boss said it says where babies come from! But he looked disturbed," Konohamaru said, poking the book with a stick.
 "I already know where babies come from!" Moegi declared, "Our moms' stomachs!" Udon looked puzzled.
 "Yeah, and the stork brings them, right?" He said. Moegi and Udon decided on that story, but Konohamaru didn't look too sure.
 "Well, how do they get out?" He asked, and crossed his arms. "I mean, I heard something different."
 "What did you hear?" they chorused. Konohamaru bent over and whispered into their ears.

 "EWW!" Moegi shrieked. "That's disgusting! You think That's how babies are made! Yuck! Like my mom and dad would ever do that!"
 "Yeah," Udon agreed half-heartedly, "Who would want to do that?" Konohamaru shrugged.
 "Well, that's what I heard. I mean, I found this magazine in Iruka-sensei's desk, you know, in that drawer where he puts stuff that he takes away from kids. I was looking for my comic book and I found it, and it showed how...." he turned red just thinking about it.

 "I say we read it to find out," Moegi said. "And if you still don't believe me, then we'll try to make a baby and see if it works."
 "Yeah, right," Udon said. "And what do we do with it when we're done?"
 "We'll put it back," Konohamaru said.
 "Okay, let's read this thing then!" They all turned to where the book was moments before, and saw in it's place Sasuke. He held the book in one hand, wincing as if it's cover burned.

 "Hey give that back!" Konohamaru yelled, reaching for it "We need it!"
 Before he bounded out of there, a bit of curiousity sparked inside of him. "For what?" he asked, and soon wished he hadn't.
 "*Because how else are we gonna learn to make babies*?" Konohamaru demanded. Sasuke was gone in the wind.

 Kakashi was having that dream again. He woke up sweating, and pulled his mask on just in time as Sasuke rapped on his window.
 "Sasuke?" he said friendly as ever, opening the window. He recoiled as Sasuke hucked the book in his house.
 "Take it! Just take it! I never want to see it again!" Sasuke was gone again, and Kakashi knew what he must do. 

 Kakashi began to summon up all his chakra to prepare for Chidori. *Could this possibly be the end of fanfiction?*


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## Kage no Karai (Jan 14, 2007)

...So, this is how Naruto feels about fanfiction....


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## Abyss of Dreams (Jan 14, 2007)

omg, lol, that was a funny chap, I wish konohamaru and corps read how babies were made than actually try to make one lol. great chap, so great that it has convinced me to put your fanfiction in my sig for advertising


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Jan 14, 2007)

Lawls. That was awesome.


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## abichan (Jan 14, 2007)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU HAFTA MAKE MORE OF IT!!!!!!!!!WHERE WILL I WASTE MY TIME IF IM NOT READING FANFICTION!!!!!!PLEASE INOSAKU PLEASE DONT LET KAKASHI DESTRROY IT!!!!!!!!


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 14, 2007)

Put it in the hands of Akatsuki.  DeixSasori, TobixDei


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## Antic Cafe (Jan 14, 2007)

i looove this fan fic. my next fanfic: UVERWORLDxThis Fanfic. lol


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## balmung29 (Jan 14, 2007)

That was an awesome read.


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## Swehaan (Jan 14, 2007)

And the whole of Christian Mid-East USA thinks they can relax with the obvious end of the very disturbing fanfiction...

Or can they?


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## iwakura (Jan 15, 2007)

ahhhhhhhh there werent 10 fanfic yet T.T inosaku, tobidei ahhhhhhhhh


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## Sho Minamimoto (Jan 15, 2007)

by order of the Leader of Holocaust (me), you must make more for thy to read! muahahahaha- *cough cough hack!*


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## InoSakuShine (Jan 16, 2007)

Ending predictable? I wouldn't say so.... Here it goes..!


*The First Book*


 The electric blue chakra crackled in his hands as Kakashi prepared to destroy the evil book of fanfiction for once and all. Just as he was about to plunge the chakra into the heart of the Fanfics, the book made a plea for mercy. It opened it's pages to strike a negotiation.

 "*K-KurenaixAyame? And TsunadexAnko*? So tempting....." Kakashi faltered for a moment. Then he heard a knock on the door and instantly he remembered that first fretful fanfiction with Sakura. At a second glance at the disturbing book he saw...

 "KakaSasu?" Then Chidori destroyed the "Top Ten Fanfiction" into a feral pit of darkness, back into the depths in which it had came. The Naruto-verse was finally freed from it's evil fictions.

 Kakashi sighed and held his arm. It was finally gone. But Damn, he wished he could have read that KurenaixAyame before he destroyed it. But eh, he could never forgive i t for the whole Sakura thing. I mean, do you know how hard it is to train with her now?

 But Konoha's security was false. True, One Book of Fanfiction had been destroyed, but *what about the other two*? Too buy celebrating, the village's people failed to notice the swirling pool of peril that unfolded in the sky. Lightening struck the ground, and something else fell out into the Naruto-verse. *This was most definetly worst than the last*.

end of fic 1. 

*fic 2 coming soon...be afraid.*


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jan 16, 2007)

The book is alive, ALIVE I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!  I wonder what the other books contain?


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## abichan (Jan 16, 2007)

more naruhina i hope!heh-heh! are you gona post it on the same thred inosaku?


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## Pugthug (Jan 16, 2007)

Niccccce can wait until part 2. You better not let us sit through fillers!


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## Kouu Koigokoro (Jan 16, 2007)

Aw, man. I wanted Sasuke and Kakashi to read the KakaSasu. Would've lmaoed at that...
Good ending, though.


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## Swehaan (Jan 16, 2007)

Fantastic, just fantastic.:amazed 

Oh, sorry, was just looking into a mirror there.   

It's possibly illegal to be this good looking, but anyway. Lovely fanfic this, can't wait for nr. 2.


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## iwakura (Jan 16, 2007)

> Aw, man. I wanted Sasuke and Kakashi to read the KakaSasu. Would've lmaoed at that...



me too  me want more fan fic part 2


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## dummy plug (Jan 16, 2007)

its nice...ill keep on reading...


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## Sho Minamimoto (Jan 18, 2007)

nice...not bad...well, at least the Leader of Holocaust (me) is happy for your work.  Looking foward to part two...

Take care for now...I'm still watching you!!!


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## natwel (Feb 5, 2007)

WOW great work, i'm glad to hear that someone doesn't like KakaSaku and the fact tha kakashi doesn't like it himself. For you's you don't know, lemon is slang for dirty/rude/hardcore hornyness.


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## Eternal Light (Feb 5, 2007)

hehe man they were funny...


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## HyperBlade13537 (Feb 8, 2007)

Hey InoSakuShine, when's part 2 of the fic start?


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## iwakura (Mar 30, 2007)

good question


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## Eureka (Mar 30, 2007)

Pugthug said:
			
		

> Great fic the most original fanific out there right now.



You have GOT to be kidding me...?


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## Fuse (Mar 30, 2007)

OH MY GOD.


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## iwakura (Mar 31, 2007)

will we ever seen the part 2


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## Capacity (Mar 31, 2007)

InoSakuShine did you discontinue your Icha Icha Hell fanfic


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## Sho Minamimoto (Apr 1, 2007)

you guys do know that she made the second one a long time ago ya?  Anyways, I too am interested on hearing about what shall go on next.  What ever happened to miss I.S.S?  I havn't seen her since a while.

SWEET!  Partey at my house!  (I.S.S, I was kiddin.  You know that right...dont hurt me...)


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## Ninjaguiden (Apr 1, 2007)

A great fanfic! Really enjoyed reading it, the best is probably that the concept is quite rare. Reps to you.


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## DarkFire (May 1, 2007)

alrite i need a link to the new thread!


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## Sho Minamimoto (May 2, 2007)

it's called the horrors of fanfiction 2...I believe.  I don't remember honestly...ah welll.


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## Mellie (May 2, 2007)

HudanTatshi said:


> lmao i remembered when i read that prevy gold



where can i read @?


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## Yakushi Kabuto (May 6, 2007)

Beautifully done, I love the short chapters and the character's subsequent horrified reactions, particularly the line of, "Idiot. Throwing it out the window isn't destroying it!"


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## Hikari-sama (Jul 21, 2007)

OMG... I love this...


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## Sho Minamimoto (Aug 30, 2007)

Saint I.S.S!!!  PLEASE COME BACK!!!


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