# Naruto: Kyubi Chronicles



## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 9, 2006)

*Naruto: Kyubi Chronicles (Adaptation)*

For all you Naruto, Bobobo, Gokusen, Dead Leaves, Ranma 1/2 , SF2V, and/or FMA fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An alternate storyline

Fan opinionated notes:

? DO NOT DELETE! This *IS* a fan fic (and an adaptation).
? *Do not* say that there are too many people on the team. They don?t join all at once(except for the final battle with M. Bison). Beside, other anime groups have 5-7 people in their party.
? PLEASE!!!!!(I?m serious) do not bash me harshly. *Give constructive critizism*. I worked hard daydreaming on this. It only take so much for me to snap, post something that is against the rules(a malicious comeback), and get banned(just like TV.com)
? Do not post words like NO, wrong, and stupid infinite times.

Plot:
The Ninja Council receive info from an anonymous source that the Kyubi within Naruto is throwing off the balance of the world(bad natural causes). Council decieds to have him executed. Iruka goes to warn Naruto and tells him to leave the H.L.V. and not to return until he finds out who was responsible for this. Hinata, overhearing the conversation, decides to join Naruto on his quest. Together, Naruto, Hinata, and the rest go on their journey.

Naruto's Group:


Naruto  - The main character as we all know. He is the leader of his group. During the Homunculi saga, Naruto fights Envy. After a dire attempt to destory Evny at his gate form, Naruto gets transported to an afterlife-like dimensions where he meets Yondaime, who tells that:

1. This is an alternate universe(the fanfic), M. Bison was the cause of it.
2. Sandaime will die.
3. Sasuke will defect to train with Orochimaru

Hinata - In this alternate series, Hinata develops a relationship with Naruto, which grows more mature each time.  Later in the series, after witnessing Dengakuman appearance of death, she tries . During the Homunculi saga, Hinata fights Wrath.

Konohomaru - After hearing that Naruto(his beloved "boss") left, Konohamaru decides to find and join Naruto and Hinata. But, Ebisu is sent to retrieve him and fails miserebly. As before, Konohamaru is still training under Naruto. In thisalternate series, Konohamaru specializes in electric jutsus. During the Homunculi saga, Konohamaru and his friends fight Gluttony.

Shin Sawada(Gokusen) ? Shin is first a street punk in Kowloon Palace who has to pay off his debts to the don. Naruto and his friends help him escape Kowloon Palace. Shin agrees to join his team, but only if he fights him(and wins). Naruto eventually does. During the Homunculi saga, Shin fights Greed.

Nightmare(Bobobo) ? He is first a villain with an inferiority complex. After losing to Naruto and his friends, they decide to spare him, but only if he joined them. In his spare time, Nightmare tries to create plans to defeat them but usually fails miserably. During the Homunculi saga, Nightmare fights Sloth.

Rock Lee ? Rock Lee is sent by Guy to secretly aid Naruto and his friends, but gets distracted along to away as he is now a rival to Ryoga. Rock Lee trains Naruto to open gate an doesn't permanently join the group until they defeat Giga. During the Homunculi saga, Rock Lee fights Lust.

Ryoga Hibiki ? Basically he is the same preson he was in Ranma ?, except he is now Rock Lee?s rival. During the Homunculi saga, Ryoga fights Pride.

The Kyubi(He comes later) ? After having to betray his friends, Naruto?s Kyubi escapes him and tries to kill him. After Naruto deafeats him, he gains remorse and shame for what he did 12 yrs ago. The Kyubi later assist Naruto during the Homunculi saga. He also bares a personal grudge against Dante for make making him destroy Konoha by misleading him (which is later revealed).

Other Accompanies:


Retro(Dead Leaves) - Retro is first seen as a souless warrior in the Shadow Stadium. After being defeated, he regains consiousness, but has amnesia.  He is later killed by Halekulani, then he is later resurrected.

Dengakuman - Afilliated with Hinata. He plays his role as Hinata?s helpful companion who spends most of his time lying on her shoulder. He is later defeated by Neji.

Moegi and Udon - Afilliated with Konohomaru. Moegi and Udon join in from time to time to aid Konohamaru in battle. 

Ed Elric - In this alternate series, Ed plays his role as a wandering vagabond in search of his brother, Alphonse. He first joins Naruto after he gets separated from his friends and gets arrested for a crime he didn't commit.  He meets Ed in jail. Together, they both escape and take down the person who framed them.

Villains:

Sasuke, Shino, and Neji, are recruited by the  Chrome Dome Big 4 in search of power and each of them become their apprentices.  Later in the series Sasuke, Shino, and Gaara(along with Shukaku) form and trio call the Jusenkyo Three.



Capt. Battleship and Sasuke  - Capt. Battleship leader of the western area. Sasuke challeges Naruto and Shin to a showdown. They both can fuse into a character called ?Battlesuke? (A man with a really long cowlick, wears no shirt, has red eyes, has darker skin and black marks over his body, and has a longer black beard). Capt. Battleship and Sasuke are both defeated. Captain Battleship is knocked out unconscious for days and Sasuke has to carry him on his back.

Kittypoo and Shino - Kittypoo and Shino in this series are slavedrivers. Their goal is to increase the evolution chain of bugs to wipe out all humanity. They both can fuse into a character called ?Nekomushi? (A black, musclelar, stag beetle demon man that is 8 ft tall, has six arms, and yellow eyes). They are both defeated after the Ko Patches revolt.

Over and Neji - Over is the leader of Dread City. Neji, who still has a grudge against Naruto and Hinata is first seen in first tournament. He  defeats Shin and Hinata. He is deafeated by Naruto in the final round. After losing the second tournament, Neji joins forces with Over(which was all planned as he pretended to lose against Over). Later in the series, Neji kills Dengakuman. They both can fuse into a character called ?Nejover? (Over with Neji's hair color, eyes, and has the Hyuga seal on his chest(wears no shirt). He also gains a really long pair of scissors that are black), who can transform into Hell Genocide (a big missle-man who has Akuma's hair and red demonic eyes). Neji later wanders in hell looking to pick fights with strong opponents and to recruit henchmen. He defeat Satan and takes over as the new ruler of Hell.

Halekulani and Gaara ? Halekulani in this series is the leader of his circus/base. He recruits Gaara after hearing about his inner demon. He decides to star him as his main attraction, ?Tanooki Boy?. They both can fuse into a character called ?Complex Diamond Man? (A man with the face of a tanooki with Gaara's eyes, wear diamond-plated armor, has slightly-long red hair, and has a tanooki tail). Gaara kills Halekulani after he pushes him too far.

Giga - Giga is Bison?s right-hand person. Giga uses Orochimaru's name and identity to lure Naruto because he wants control over Naruto?s Kyubi. (Orochimaru and the Sound 5 were originally killed by him and the 6 Cyber Knights). He tries to get Naruto to betray the team, but Giga is defeated by Naruto and his new kyubi ally.

The Homunculi and Dante:


Dante, leader of the Homunculi is Bison?s left-hand person. She is the one responsible for giving misleading info about Naruto?s Kyubi to the Ninja Council. She also choses Hinata as her next body. Lust, fights Rock Lee. Gluttony, fights the Konohamaru Ninja Squad. Greed, fights Shin. Sloth, fights Nightmare and defeats him, but loses to Shin. Pride fights Ryoga and defeats him, but loses to Rock Lee. Wrath, who also feels that Hinata is worthless, fight her. Envy, kidnaps Hinata, fights Naruto and almost kills him just before Ed arrives to help him.

Metal Sonic


Metal Sonic is found badly damaged then reprogrammed by M. Bison to put Naruto out of commission. Naruto tries to take down Metal Sonic by himself, only to be beaten badly. Metal Sonic later fights Sasuke, Shino, and Gaara. Just before he delivers the final blow, Metal Sonic is destroyed by Ed Elric.

Shadowlaw ? As you SF fans know, Shadowlaw is an evil syndicate bent on taking over the world. Their leader is M. Bison. But there is a new twist, Bison has has new henchmen like Kabuto. Later in the series, he manages to kidnap Alphonse, and inplant mind-control chips in Hinata, Shikamaru, and Choji. He also has affiliations with Giga and Dante. He is destroyed by everyone in Naruto?s group in the final battle.


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## kyutofukumaki (Nov 9, 2006)

Thats nicely made.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 9, 2006)

kyutofukumaki said:


> Thats nicely made.



Thanks, I worked hard on it.

The Angst Ones:


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 13, 2006)

Anyone care to respond?


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## saiya-jin (Nov 14, 2006)

Sounds good to me, although I don't know who everyone is.(Only the Naruto and Bobobo ones!) You should add DBZ!(unless you don't like that stuff.)


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 15, 2006)

saiya-jin said:


> Sounds good to me, although I don't know who everyone is.(Only the Naruto and Bobobo ones!) You should add DBZ!(unless you don't like that stuff.)



Nah, characters in DBZ are too powerful. That doesn't mean I hate it.


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## saiya-jin (Nov 15, 2006)

Yeah, I didn't think of that until a little later on. This is kind of like my fanfic(in the sense that it has different shows in it.), are you just doing anime, or are you using other things, too? I'd love to see Solid Snake Blasting Shukaku with a Rocket Launcher!


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 16, 2006)

saiya-jin said:


> Yeah, I didn't think of that until a little later on. This is kind of like my fanfic(in the sense that it has different shows in it.), are you just doing anime, or are you using other things, too? I'd love to see Solid Snake Blasting Shukaku with a Rocket Launcher!



I'm using anime.


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## saiya-jin (Nov 19, 2006)

Alright, that's cool!


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## Ichiro Miyata (Nov 19, 2006)

sounds cool to me 

it would be cooler if you could get some pics done for this to


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 7, 2006)

Ok! All you haters out there can bash me if you want to and i'll defend myself (as usual). Just somebody else respond!


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## Rise Against713 (Dec 8, 2006)

very interesting.


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## Moccanime (Jan 20, 2007)

Hiruto Uzumaki said:


> • PLEASE!!!!!(I’m serious) do not bash me harshly. *Give constructive critizism*. I worked hard daydreaming on this. It only take so much for me to snap, post something that is against the rules(a malicious comeback), and get banned(just like TV.com)



It's hard to give much contructive critisme, when all we have to base it on is a summary of the storyline and who will be in it.
The idea seams good enough, although there is a bit many characters, but until we actually have a writen chapter, it's hard to tell if the story is any good. It might very well fail due to the same reason many fanfics fail: Great idea but the author dosn't have the writingskills to pull it off.

The thread seams pretty dead but since you still have the link in your signature I'll guess the project is still going.


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## soniclinx (Jan 20, 2007)

BOBOBBOOB is gay and is a horrible anime any1 who likes it is a retard


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## soniclinx (Jan 20, 2007)

check out my thread on the naruto movies


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Feb 2, 2007)

soniclinx said:


> BOBOBBOOB is gay and is a horrible anime any1 who likes it is a retard



As if FMA is better!? Did ever wonder why I only used the 9 characters that actually matter!? Exactly

_Zatch Bell!_ is gay!


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Feb 6, 2007)

Episodes/Chapters:

1. An anonymous source says that Naruto's Kyubi inside will cause the the brink of destruction to the world; Nauro and Hinata set off on their journey.

2. Hinata has memories of how she first met Naruto; the two are ambushed by a bunch of rogue ninja.

3. Konohamaru sets off to join Naruto & Hinata; Ebisu is sent to retrieve him.

4. The three run into a mysterious pick-pocketer by the name of Shin.

5. Naruto's group try to escape Kowloon Palace from an angry mob.

6. Shin agrees to join Naruto's group, bu only if he'll fight him (and wins).

7. The duel between Naruto and Shin begins.

8. A cheery assassin is sent to kill Naruto's group.

9. ???

10. Naruto's group face off with Nightmare.

11. Another assassin who has the ability to control subway trains, causes panic at a subway station.

12. ???

13. Naruto's group reach Shadow Stadium.

Not yet done....


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## Reyven (Feb 23, 2007)

This sounds like a very interesting idea. I would like to see this actually put into writing though, it would make for an interesting read.


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## Omega (Feb 26, 2007)

I think its very good and your hard work shows.




ps: I watch Bo-Bo-Bo and its funny...in a stupid retarted way...but still good


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## Kyuubi~Unleashed (Apr 4, 2007)

that was just retarded, but in a funny way.


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## Dagoth Ur (Apr 12, 2007)

DUDE THJIS SOUNDS AWESOME I WANT TO READ THIS THING SO BAD!


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Apr 21, 2007)

................


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## scerpers (Jun 16, 2007)

.......What?


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## Vance (Jun 17, 2007)

Fail, the story isn't even here, it'll probably never come, lol.


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## Freiza (Jul 15, 2007)

lol, that was funny, and great. i like the way you mixed characters from diff animes/mangas.
It was quite interesting, though story form would be nice


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## Beluga (Sep 8, 2007)

interesting.O_o



> Over is the leader of Dread City. Neji, who still has a grudge against Naruto and Hinata



Lol XD

but yeah keep writing.


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## Katta San (Sep 29, 2007)

Kyuubi~Unleashed said:


> that was just retarded, but in a funny way.



私はあなたを憎む、そして誰も今までにあなたを愛さなかった。
私はあなたが地獄で焼き付けることを希望する。

I don't like you...you're mean. He worked hard on that fanfic, and you can't just accept that? I don't see you putting any effort into a fanfic to entertain people. But I won't neg you.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Kidding kidding.
You got all scared.


Nice work man.


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## byakugan_warrior (Oct 3, 2007)

i like this one


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## hinata_brave_hyuga (Oct 31, 2007)

whooooo _ummmmmmmm _


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 28, 2007)

I have some very good news! I finally wrote the plot for the first episode!

You can view it here:
Link removed


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## Random Nobody (Nov 29, 2007)

Some thoughts:

1. Stop writing the story like its the script to an anime episode.  Or if you still wish to write it like this at least write the story in script format.

2. Add in details and descriptions.  Obviously not a big deal when it comes to how the characters look or the general layout of Konoha since where all familiar with those, however you failed to describe anything that happened in any of the action scenes.  It's less like your writing a story and more like your writing a summary of an episode or something.

3. Put a bit more thought into the plot.  Sandaime's gonna agree that Naruto should be killed over a *rumor?*  Not to mention a rumor from a stranger that they know nothing about and that they make no attempt to verify?

Honestly I feel this needs more work.  This looks more like a summary to the first chapter, something you'd right down to get a basic idea of what you wanted to get down before fleshing the idea out.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Nov 30, 2007)

Random Nobody said:


> Some thoughts:
> 
> 1. Stop writing the story like its the script to an anime episode.  Or if you still wish to write it like this at least write the story in script format.
> 
> ...



Summaries>>>>>>>>Script writing

I'll leave that to the script writers, and i'll make the revisions(That way, at least I have something to work with. Other than that, it seems I did a pretty good job. 

And next time, post on the actual thread.


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## Random Nobody (Nov 30, 2007)

What script writers?  What are you talking about?  

Also you didn't address any of the issues I brought up about the actual writing, such as why the Third decides to kill Naruto over a rumor he makes no attempt to verify is true that he heard from someone who could hardly be described as a reliable source of information.

And I posted it in this thread because if I posted in the thread with the story it'd be harder for people to find the next chapter if you post one, plus it'd be better if you used a thread like this for discussion and another thread for the story so you don't wind up either A) having nobody be able to find new chapters of your story due to having to wade through god knows how many pages of replies or B) Making a new thread for each new chapter.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 2, 2007)

Random Nobody said:


> What script writers?  What are you talking about?
> 
> Also you didn't address any of the issues I brought up about the actual writing, such as why the Third decides to kill Naruto over a rumor he makes no attempt to verify is true that he heard from someone who could hardly be described as a reliable source of information.
> 
> And I posted it in this thread because if I posted in the thread with the story it'd be harder for people to find the next chapter if you post one, plus it'd be better if you used a thread like this for discussion and another thread for the story so you don't wind up either A) having nobody be able to find new chapters of your story due to having to wade through god knows how many pages of replies or B) Making a new thread for each new chapter.



Fine, i'll make *Dante* say she was an old aquaintence of Yondaime. Happy? 

And besides, i'll update chapter links once I get past the second ep.


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## Random Nobody (Dec 2, 2007)

And the leaders of Konoha are gonna listen to Dante, yet another complete stranger.........why?

And there's still the issue with the lack of details and description.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 2, 2007)

Random Nobody said:


> And the leaders of Konoha are gonna listen to Dante, yet another complete stranger.........why?
> 
> And there's still the issue with the lack of details and description.



_Plot-no-Jutsu_, that's why  .


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## Random Nobody (Dec 7, 2007)

.......Please tell me your joking.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 8, 2007)

If I were joking, I would would've gone with the Sakura/Different World idea. The plot will all come to sense soon. We don't know that it's Dante yet, just us who get a behind-the-scene-taste of Kyubiden.


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## Random Nobody (Dec 9, 2007)

Oh so you are going to explain why they just randomly believe someone that tells them to kill Naruto over a rumor?  Good I was worried for a second there.  Oh another thing, you might want to rewrite the end of the first chapter to actually explain why neither Jiraiya or Iruka go with Naruto, since the idea a ninja that unexperienced out on his own with his only backup being _another_ incredibly unexperienced ninja doesn't make the slightest bit of sense.


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## Chee (Dec 9, 2007)

You'll be an amazing filler writer. 

BTW, people hate filler writers.


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## Vance (Dec 9, 2007)

_This story blows...Hard..._


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## DaRevengeMaestro (Dec 11, 2007)

*I guess I can help...*

Alright, you are attempting something that most can't do, so I can only hope that you get the basics down first.

Grammer Conventions, which you should know a little bit about if you are legally old enough to read and write on this site, are key. I admit, some of my chapters in my stories need some work, but I still try to edit weird sounding parts and make sure I don't publish anything that I got from my little sister's notebook.

Second, be sure not to respond with too much emotion to flames. This is the most desired reaction for the flamer. If you get flamed on this forum, don't worry. You can report it.

If you get flamed on FF.Net, however, it might take a little more time to get them back somewhat. I mean, this has a lot of people on it, but this is just Naruto. FF.Net has most of the known anime, all popular books, comics, TV shows, cartoons, and other categories I can't think of. They will get a lot of abuse reports, and they won't respond the way you want all the time.

Also, I just have to say, space paragraphs. In fics you will be placing a lot of ideas in one chapter, so don't be afraid to make two-to-three sentence paragraphs for most of the story. Truthfully, gigantic paragraphs are imposing on the eyes and can cause most readers to dose your story from the beginning. First impressions are sometimes everything, and a bad one can scar a writer for life.

I can't stress this bad enough, read. Yes, read other fanfictions to see what you can use, add a good twist to, or what people don't like to see. Too often newbie writers come on with some stupid story about Naruto getting stronger and he becomes a jounin after two months of training, using the canon storyline until that point. Then they cry when they get flames. Someone told me that since it's fan _fiction_, you could put Barney in it. Then someone else replied, "Yes you could, but you would get more flames than gasoline at 1,000 degrees Celcius."

You might also want to check out a few more fanfic tips from some of the experienced authors that can help you more than you know. Check these authors' profiles out:

mortalone, LightningHunter(you might want to avoid him if you don't want to see some words that your mother won't approve of), KyuubiWindscar(me), LD 1449, and vincent1875(he isn't much of help for wrinting better, but he does make you think a lot more originally


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## E∂ward (Dec 12, 2007)

Very suffisticated...Amazing work you done there


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 16, 2007)

Chee said:


> You'll be an amazing filler writer.
> 
> BTW, people hate filler writers.



Why must you be a hater. Don't be a hater.


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## Vance (Dec 16, 2007)

Hiruto Uzumaki said:


> Why must you be a hater. Don't be a hater.



Oh boo hoo, angst.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 22, 2007)

Scorpion said:


> Oh boo hoo, angst.



Boo hoo my ass

Can't Naruto go on a journey with Hinata to find the person who started the rumor about the Kyubi sealing destroying the balance of the world without you guys(and you) putting down everything!?


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## Vance (Dec 22, 2007)

> Boo hoo my ass
> 
> Can't Naruto go on a journey with Hinata to find the person who started the rumor about the Kyubi sealing destroying the balance of the world without you guys(and you) putting down everything!?



_PMing all the people who didn't believe in your story IS agnst, annoying, and fucking retarded. _


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## Gecka (Dec 22, 2007)

QFT

Hiruko you are the epitomy of fail Unless you suddenly gain win by converting to Vancism

i doubt you'll ever amount to even the scum of the forums. so please stop posting


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## Vance (Dec 23, 2007)

_This man above me is very wise, everyone should take this quote and put it in their sig._


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Dec 23, 2007)

> i be hatin'



Those who hate are irate. 

You people are just mad because Naruto is with Hinata and gets to go on an adventure. Too bad. Deal with it in an adult way.


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## Vance (Dec 23, 2007)

*You were asking for critque, stop whining.*


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## Gecka (Dec 23, 2007)

Scorpion said:


> _This man above me is very wise, everyone should take this quote and put it in their sig._



 i will.


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## Random Nobody (Jan 1, 2008)

Hiruto are you gonna actually respond to the constructive responses to your story or are you gonna just bitch at flamers?


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Jan 2, 2008)

Random Nobody said:


> Hiruto are you gonna actually respond to the constructive responses to your story or are you gonna just bitch at flamers?



That's just it. What constructive responses!? (That I haven't already responded to)

And if I don't bitch as you call it, they'll swarm around endlessely like like the flies they are.


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## scerpers (Jan 2, 2008)

**


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## Random Nobody (Jan 2, 2008)

Hiruto Uzumaki said:


> That's just it. What constructive responses!? (That I haven't already responded to)
> 
> And if I don't bitch as you call it, they'll swarm around endlessely like like the flies they are.



One of my posts (the one that was right above Chee's post which you did respond to) and DaRevengeMaestro's post which you can find simply by looking up.  As for the flamers, bitching at them doesn't make them go away it encourages them.  Just ignore them.


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## ryuukari (Jan 3, 2008)

Good idea, but maybe you should put more thought into fleshing everything out and filling all of the plot gaps.  Some things don't make sense (the things Random Nobody brought up) and other things could use work.  Keep it up, though.  The more you write, the better you'll get!


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## Gecka (Jan 3, 2008)

ryuukari said:


> *The more you write, the better you'll get! *






That's the spirit, but this is where the Saying comes in that
*If You Polish a Turd...IT'S STILL A TURD​*


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Jan 3, 2008)

Random Nobody said:


> One of my posts (the one that was right above Chee's post which you did respond to) and DaRevengeMaestro's post which you can find simply by looking up.  As for the flamers, bitching at them doesn't make them go away it encourages them.  Just ignore them.



I tried part of that method in one thread. I'm sure you preferably remember it as the "Caek & Pie Serious Discussion" thread.

But for the most part, i'll look at their posts again and see if they're worth responding to.


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## Gecka (Jan 20, 2008)

No matter what you do Hiruot you can't become a Fanfic writer instantly. You have o gradually build up. But in your case just give up...


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Jan 22, 2008)

?Sniper? said:


> No matter what you do Hiruot you can't become a Fanfic writer instantly. You have o gradually build up. But in your case just give up...



Hell no. I won't. Not to you or anyone else.


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## Gigantor (Jan 28, 2008)

Hiruto I may be a person who has never tried to write a fanfic before yet i see quite a few problems with your storyline
A. Ranma is too powerful for Naruto
B. Naruto beats Kyuubi yet can't solo entire villages
C. Why are their alchemists and Homonculi wandering around
D. Ed Elric being stronger than the Sonic that beat Naruto who beats Kyuubi
E. When is this supposed to begin in the storyline
F. Dante somehow thinks it is a good idea to choose Hinata when their are plenty of other stronger kuinoichi with byakugan and in general


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Jan 28, 2008)

sonicsharkie said:


> Hiruto I may be a person who has never tried to write a fanfic before yet i see quite a few problems with your storyline
> A. Ranma is too powerful for Naruto
> B. Naruto beats Kyuubi yet can't solo entire villages
> C. Why are their alchemists and Homonculi wandering around
> ...



F**k you, alright!? You blew it when you started _*ass*_uming my age. I'm 17, dickhead! Who the hell do you think you are anyway!? 

Now with that heat released:

A. I can take Ryoga from any part of Ranma 1/2 and water down his strength so that he can be on par with Rock Lee or boost both his and Naruto strength.

B. Kyubi isn't at full power when he escapes from inside Naruto. The rest of his spirit still resides within Naruto, which is why he is 2 inches more the size of an Arcanine.

C. There is only one wandering _alchemis*t*_. And I thought it would be a good plot/storyline advancement.

D. Plot spoiler: 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Metal Sonic was too deadly for Naruto too take on alone, so he and Ed go to find the Jusenkyo Three(Sasuke, Shino, Gaara) to recruit them to take down Metal Sonic, but have to win against all three of them in three separate battles, Naruto vs Sasuke, Ed vs Shino, Naruto & Ed vs Gaara. The three of them fight Metal Sonic, (while Naruto, Konohamaru Ninja Squad, Shin, Nightmare, Rock Lee, Ryoga, Kyubi, Retro, Dengakuman, and Kiba head to the Shadowlaw Base). They are able to take him down. Metal Sonic makes a last resort move, only to be destroyed by Ed who shows at the last second, who was on his way to catch up with Naruto's group.




*Don't ask futher questions about the plot. All will be revealed in later episodes/chapters.*

E. First off, this is an alternate story line. It begins between eps. 53-54.

F. Lady Hinata is an important person for she is part of the main branch of the Hyuga clan. Plus she looks alot like Dante's Lyra form. 

Bonus: I can write about whatever I want, as long as I put serious thought it, and I do. It just takes me longer to summarize each detail beat by beat.

Now quit causing trouble for other people. *I'm dead serious.*


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## Gaara of the Sand (Jan 28, 2008)

I liked it, it was a good read IMO


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## BlueJay (Jan 28, 2008)

it's good. how long did it take you to finish?


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## Gaara of the Sand (Jan 28, 2008)

and to people saying certain things could'nt happen 
I have news for you ITs a FANFIC


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## Seitoukaichou (Jan 29, 2008)

That's the best peace of retard since Karyu&Kodan XD"


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Jan 29, 2008)

Raiel said:


> That's the best peace of retard since Karyu&Kodan XD"



Sure it is.............. 

See how far you go with that thought.


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## Gigantor (Jan 31, 2008)

So
A. How is Hinata still important if she left the clan to follow a disgraced exile since main and branch do not change overall skill and usefulness 
B. What is the point of Yondaime telling Naruto that it's an alternate universe since even if he corrects it Hinata would then become a secondary character and would have no logical reason for a relationship with Naruto as current manga is implying
C. Why does Neji have a grudge against an exile and a traitor

Just curious with your displayed knowledge it seems like you have only read or watched the hinata vs neji and the Neji vs Naruto fights


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## Random Nobody (Jan 31, 2008)

Hiruto Uzumaki said:


> F**k you, alright!? You blew it when you started _*ass*_uming my age. I'm 17, dickhead! Who the hell do you think you are anyway!?
> 
> Now with that heat released:
> 
> A. I can take Ryoga from any part of Ranma 1/2 and water down his strength so that he can be on par with Rock Lee or boost both his and Naruto strength.



This is generally a bad idea.  If you power down Ryoga, your gonna piss off Ranma fans, and powering up characters always runs the risk of "activating God mode" which also tends to piss people off.



> B. Kyubi isn't at full power when he escapes from inside Naruto. The rest of his spirit still resides within Naruto, which is why he is 2 inches more the size of an Arcanine.



......You do realize that even with just One Tail Kyuubi would be giving Naruto a lot of trouble if not just curbstomping him, right?



> D. Plot spoiler:
> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> ...




*Spoiler*: __ 



Terrible Idea.  The only way it works is if you reduce Metal Sonic's speed.  By a lot.






> E. First off, this is an alternate story line. It begins between eps. 53-54.



And at which point in the manga would this be?



> F. Lady Hinata is an important person for she is part of the main branch of the Hyuga clan. Plus she looks alot like Dante's Lyra form.



That didn't answer his question.  At all.



> Bonus: I can write about whatever I want, as long as I put serious thought it, and I do. It just takes me longer to summarize each detail beat by beat.
> 
> Now quit causing trouble for other people. *I'm dead serious.*



The numerous plot holes suggest you might want to put a little more thought into it.


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## Gigantor (Feb 1, 2008)

what was with the dead serious thing anyway, is he going to storm my house and burn it to the ground next time i ask a question


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Feb 1, 2008)

sonicsharkie said:


> So
> A. How is Hinata still important if she left the clan to follow a disgraced exile since main and branch do not change overall skill and usefulness
> B. What is the point of Yondaime telling Naruto that it's an alternate universe since even if he corrects it Hinata would then become a secondary character and would have no logical reason for a relationship with Naruto as current manga is implying
> C. Why does Neji have a grudge against an exile and a traitor
> ...



A. Do not ask questions about the plot.
B. Naruto won't. I'm serious. No more plot questions. I don't feel like posting anymore spoilers.
C. I like Dark Neji

BTW, they're only temporary exiles. Iruka gave them permission to leave.


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## Random Nobody (Feb 2, 2008)

You ignored my post again.

And since when does Iruka have the authority to authorize someone to leave the village?


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## Gigantor (Feb 2, 2008)

I thought he was ignoring you Random Nobody and since Naruto is obviously Kage level since he can beat a Youkai why doesn't he just walk up to Konoha and demand to be reinstated since he is on the same level as Shukaku.


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## Levithian (Feb 3, 2008)

*Look, I have read much worse, at least its a little entertaining, its a fanfic not a manga...mostly for the fans enjoyment...one just has to suspend disbelief a bit more for the sake of that enjoyment.*


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## Random Nobody (Feb 3, 2008)

FullMetalAlchemist9 said:


> *Look, I have read much worse, at least its a little entertaining, its a fanfic not a manga...mostly for the fans enjoyment...one just has to suspend disbelief a bit more for the sake of that enjoyment.*



Suspension of disbelief is when you don't yell "People can't do that!" when Sasuke shoots a fireball out of his mouth.  Ignoring massive plot holes is being ignorant.

This fanfic is bad.  It's nowhere near the worse and it might be able to be salvaged (if I didn't think it could be, I wouldn't have posted all the problems with it so that Hiruto could fix them) but the fact remains that its bad and that it needs a rewrite.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Feb 3, 2008)

Bottomline: The plot stays and the characters stay.

I was afraid this thing about plot holes would happen. This is what happends when spoilers on things that haven't been worked into episode/chapter synopsis. From now on, no discusion of anything past ep. 1 until further notice.


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## Random Nobody (Feb 5, 2008)

I was talking about the plot holes in episode 1.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Feb 6, 2008)

Random Nobody said:


> I was talking about the plot holes in episode 1.



Well other people were talking about things past that.

The main objective for ep 1 is for Naruto and Hinata to leave the village. The overall purpose of the series is for Naruto to go on a journey with his own choice party (7 members minimum) like other animes such as MAR, Bobobo, Monster Rancher, Digimon, your One Piece, etc.


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## Speedtouch (Feb 17, 2008)

This isn't good, it has too many problems.


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (May 22, 2008)

You seem like smart people. How about a little wager. You all hate 4kids right? We have that much in common. If you help give good word and support my spin-off idea, i'll help bring an end to 4kids for good and have them release full(every episode) uncut DVD's of all the anime they have ruined.


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## Byakuya (Jul 28, 2008)

This thread is seriously hilarious


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## Hiruto Uzumaki (Feb 24, 2009)

The official trailer has been created:

link


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## Dirty Harry (Apr 9, 2009)

Hiruto, consider the section of the thread you've bumped, with your anime-trailer.

Years' worth of hate, this thread seems to have lost whatever potency it had, long ago. Shoot for another thread, if you wish; this one's closing down.


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