# MartialHorror's action/martial arts movies that you should check out or avoid



## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2008)

Basically the same thing as my other thread, but with a different genre.

MOVIES YOU SHOULD WATCH

*Live Free and Die Hard*- This  is a super entertaining action flick with some brains. It's very hard to believe, so keep an active imagination. Its about as good as the other sequels. Bruce Willis still owns.

3/4

*The Forbidden Kingdom*- Jackie Chan steals the show in this kung fu/fantasy tale. Jet Li and Chans fight scenes are superb, and it is very entertaining, although has its gag inducing moments. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

3/4

*Kiru(Kill!) *-This Samurai film is an obvious Yojimbo clone, but it is personally my favorite Samurai film of all time. Tatsuya Nadakai owns the movies(thankfully, he doesn't copy Mifune), and it is intelligently crafted and choreographed. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

4/4

MOVIES YOU SHOULD AVOID

*Bodyguard Kiba 2: Combat Apocalypse*- What the hell? This was directed by Takashi Miike? It's predecessor was bland enough, but this makes that look like a classic. Poorly written, crappy production values, and an idiotic ending are partially redeemed by a swift pace, solid acting, and some decent fight scenes. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2008)

RECCOMENDATIONS

*Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade*: Sean Connery and Harrison Ford carry the film, which is much more personal and witty than the previous films. It's adventure at its best.
Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

3.5/4 stars

*300*- A stylish, exotic badass war-epic that is a near-perfect film. Dont expect much historically accurate facts, however, and the narrative is a bit rushed at times.
Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

3.5/4

MOVIES I KIND OF RECCOMEND

*Andromedia*: Takashi Miike made a stunningly beautiful but strange sci-fi, pop film. I ejoyed it, but most people were put off by the annoying boy bands(who sing at one point), and the incoherant script. Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

2.5/4

MOVIES TO AVOID

*The Game of Death*: This was that incomplete Bruce Lee film he began before he died, and the result is a mess. It's unintentionally funny, but enjoys solid production values and some decent fight scenes. Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

1.5/4 stars


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## Shoddragon (Jul 11, 2008)

ok as for game of death, is it Bruce LEE or Bruce LI. two different people. Bruce Li was the world renowned  martial artist, the one from enter the dragon. Bruce Lee is just a person with a similar name and isn't really famous. So which one is it?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2008)

Well, the famous Bruce Lee began the film, but died. Two doubles were used for the rest of the film. one was a taekwondo guy, the other was Yuen Baio(who later became a famous martial artist)

Bruce Li was offered the role, but turned it down(wierd...)


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2008)

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND.

*Doomsday*: Doomsday is a badass film that feels like "Mad Max" and "Escape from New York". It's badass, but suffers terribly from lame characters and a weak plot.


2.5/4

[B]War[/B]: Jet Li and Jason Statham are a cool pair. In fact, the film is fairly stylish, fairly intelligent and action packed. The two leads do great as well. There is simply a certain B movie quality about it that I can't simply shake off, however. Also, how does Devon Aoki keep getting work? [link]

2.5/4

MOVIES TO AVOID

[B]Hand of Death[/B]: One of Jackie Chan's earliest films, in which he plays a supporting role and steals the show. It's also the debut of John Woo. As cool as it sounds, its not. The fight scenes range from crappy to passable, the plot is predictable and there isn't much style here. Very bland. [link]

1.5/4

MOVIES TO WATCH

[B]Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story[/B]- A fictional biography on the life of Bruce Lee. It feels just like a Bruce Lee. Jason Scott Lee does great and the fight scenes are on the money. It's a strong film, all around. [link]

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 14, 2008)

Kiru, eh? I love old-school Samurai movies, and I love Tatsuya Nadakai. I'll certainly have to watch this. I guess you've redeemed yourself from the Final Wars fiasco.


For now.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 15, 2008)

lol...

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND

*Golgo 13: The professional*- An anime about an assassin who is being hunted down by the scorned father of one of his victims. It's stylish and action packed, but I couldn't bring myself to root for anyone. Even the lead is a one-dimensional badass that I couldn't care for. Link removed

2.5/4

*The Duel(2000)* - Andrew Lau creates another CGI crazy film about intrigue and mysterious murders, surrounding a duel between two famous swordsmen. The CGI and fight scenes are okay, but its the humor that won me over. Andy Lau is always cool but Ekin Cheng looks asleap. Link removed

2.5/4 

MOVIES TO WATCH

*The Good, the bad, and the ugly*: Three men hunt for gold during the civil war. This western classic borderlines art. Leone keeps on throwing at us spectacular and memorable scenes, the script is epic and solid, and the acting is in top form. It may be the best western ever made. Even the overlong length isnt that bothersome. Who doesn't love the classic score by Ennio Morricone? Link removed

4/4  

*Miracles*- Jackie Chan is a young man relies on a poor old womans flowers to bring him up so he can rise as a gangster. When the woman's daughter plans to marry into a successful family, he must repay the debt by making the old woman look rich. The fight scenes are top notch, although they dont happen very often. instead, it is a much more plot driven story and is a heavy technical achievement for Jackie Chan in terms of acting and directing. Link removed

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 15, 2008)

I think I remember Miracles; that was a good one. 

And the Duel was pretty weird, but cool nonetheless. I'll agree with the rating and recommendation of that movie.


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## Shoddragon (Jul 15, 2008)

I'd personally recommend all bruce lee movies ( save for the incomplete one). ESPECIALLY enter the dragon. OMFG, he beat samo hung and KILLED jackie chan.


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 15, 2008)

The imcomplete one was an alright watch. Just for the fact he fought that 800 foot guy at the end and had a giant footprint on his shirt.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2008)

Bleh, I thought Big Boss and Fists of Fury were both alright, only because they had Bruce Lee in it. "Enter the Dragon" is one of the best martial arts flicks of all time and "Way of the Dragon" is good as well.

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND

*Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom*- Indy and his new gang must take some stone from a cult. First off, props to Spielberg and Lucas for completely changing the tone and look of the film so it didn't look like "Raiders". Nevertheless, it was brought down by some annoying side-characters.
[Zero-Raws] Sekirei - 03 RAW (D-MX 704x396 DivX683 120fps).avi

2.5/4

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECCOMEND

*Pistol Whipped*- Steven Seagal is an ex-badass(lol, is this real life Seagal?) who is brought in to do some missions for some mysterious dude. In terms of quality, its one of his better newer flicks, but is that really saying much? [Zero-Raws] Sekirei - 03 RAW (D-MX 704x396 DivX683 120fps).avi

2/4

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Sky High(2003) *- Ryuhei Kitamura(director of "Versus") gives us another convoluted film about a detective hunting down a supernatural killer. As always, Kitamura delivers eye candy, and surprises us by giving us some decent characters and depth. Mainly for Kitamura fans... [Zero-Raws] Sekirei - 03 RAW (D-MX 704x396 DivX683 120fps).avi

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 16, 2008)

I thought Sky High was that movie about a highschool for superhero kids? :S


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## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2008)

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECCOMEND

*BloodRayne II: Deliverance(2007)*- Vampiress(half-vampiress, actually) Rayne recruits some people to hunt down Billy the Kid(whois a vampire). When Uwe Boll announced this sequel to one of the worst films of all time, my expectations were obviously low. Thank God my low expectations saved me opinion of it. Its not....that bad. Link removed

2/4

MOVIES TO WATCH

*For a Few Dollars More(1965)*- Two outlaws began a shaky alliance to hunt down a ruthless outlaw. Not as lyrical as "Fistful of Dollars" or as wonderful as "Good, the bad, and the ugly". In fact, its the weakest of the dollar trilogy, but Leone keeps things stylish enough and the actors are great.Link removed

3/4

*Fistful of Dollars(1964)*- A loose remake of "Yojimbo", about an outlaw pitting two gangs against eachother. Wonderfully shot and written. Leone owns as the director and Eastwood owns the screen. A very lyrical and inspired film. Link removed

3.5/4

*Shanghai Noon(2000)* - Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson have wonderful chemistry in this loose remake to "Red Sun"(Which starred the great Toshiro Mifune and Charles Bronson) about a Chinese warrior who must team up with an outlaw to retrieve a princess. Energetic, witty, and comical. The fight scenes aren't all that though. Link removed

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 18, 2008)

I say all of the Zatoichi movies should be a must-watch, as well as the Yojimbo meets Zatoichi movie even though it isn't as good. And, granted, Yojimbo and Sanjuro, anything that has Toshiro Mifune in it.


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## Rock Lee (Jul 18, 2008)

tagged 4 later.


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## Juanita Tequila (Jul 20, 2008)

You should make a list for romantic comedies aka chick flicks next!


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## MartialHorror (Jul 21, 2008)

lol, I can see it now. MartialHorror's review of martial arts, horror and chick flicks films!

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECCOMEND

*Day Watch(2006)* - The sequel to "Night Watch" is about Anton trying to get his son back. It's still incoherant, but also is overlong, confusing and lacking the style of the first film. Still, it's not bad and if you liked the first one, you may like this.
Here are lyrics

2/4

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND

*Deaden(2006)*- If you are familiar with "The Arrow in the Head" movie review website, you should check this out as the guy who does that is the star here. He's pretty good, and the movie is very entertaining and harsh. However, the low budget takes away from it...its about a former undercover cop killing the thugs who killed his wife when they discovered his identity. Here are lyrics

2.5/4

*Dead or Alive: Final(2002)*- The third of Takashi Miike's "Dead or Alive" trilogy is the weakest, but still a decent watch. Some style, some drama, some action and it takes place in the future. The plot revolves around a Government official tracking down a group of rebels, who just recruited an unusual cyborg. Here are lyrics

2.5/4

MOVIES TO WATCH 

*Death Note(2006)* - Based on the anime/manga, a group of Detectives track down a serial killer who kills criminals using paranormal abilities. It's very intelligent, the directing by Shusuke Kaneko is very grounded and realistic(in contrast to the fantasy aspects of the film) and the acting is bang on. A great watch, for fans and non-fans alike. Here are lyrics

3.5/4


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## Kenshin (Jul 23, 2008)

great ill defidently give some of these movies  a look.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2008)

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Wanted(2008)* - Explosive and stylish action flick that is definately one of the best films of 2008. Plot revolves around a young man who has just joined a group of assassins. did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?.

4/4

*The Tale of Zatoichi(1962)* - Ichi wanders into town, where two rival gangs are fighting. It's excellent in every sense of the word. A wonderful introduction to a wonderful character. did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?

3.5/4

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECCOMEND

*The Tale of Zatoichi Continues(1962) *- Ichi goes back to town, and must kill alot of people, but who is this one-armed ronin who is following him? Tomisaburo Wakayama owns as the one-armed ronin, and Katsu owns as always. However, it's fairly convoluted and slow....did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?

2/4

MOVIES TO AVOID

*Southland Tales(2007)* - I usually put the plot here, but im not so sure myself. Its basically the story of a bunch of people right before the end-times. It has some great visuals, but is overlong, boring and confusing as hell. did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?

1.5/4


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## Shibo (Jul 24, 2008)

Death Trance pek

Versus was amusing


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## Solid Snake (Jul 24, 2008)

Just listing some to hear your educated opinion:

-Kung Fu Hustle
-Shaolin Soccer
-Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior
-Kung Pow! Enter the Fist


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## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2008)

Solid Snake said:


> Just listing some to hear your educated opinion:
> 
> -Kung Fu Hustle
> -Shaolin Soccer
> ...



Off the top of my head.

Kung Fu Hustle- 3/4
Shaolin Soccer- 3/4
Ong Bak- 3/4
Kung Pow- 3/4

Its been awhile since I've seen all of them, however.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 28, 2008)

*Stardust(2007)* - A bunch of people hunt down a falling star, which is actually a beautiful woman. It's a very colorful and imaginative fantasy that really works on every level. It's a shame that the narrative feels rushed... Roaring Tides from Clannad.

3/4


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## Shibo (Jul 29, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> You've seen it? If so, cool because not many people know about it.....



Versus or Death Trance?  Ive seen both n_n I esp liked Versus, trying to get The Ultimate now 

Have you seen Wild Zero? That was one crazy movie


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## Spanish Hoffkage (Jul 29, 2008)

Blueberry is the biggest piece of shit that had the shame to call itself a western movie


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2008)

1) Yeah, Versus was pretty amusing. It's cool someone else has seen "Death Trance" though, which isn't as available as "Versus".

2) You know, I liked "Renegade" in segments. I liked it alot more when it was a normal western. When it got trippy, well, I have to give some credit to the director for trying that, but it was kind of boring.

Hmmm, new reviews.

*The Bank Job(2008)* - What begins as a normal bank job turns out into something far bigger. Since this isn't the kind of movie I'd review for my site, I'll just talk about it here. It has a brilliant script, with a brilliant director, and a brilliant cast. Have I mentioned its brilliant? It makes "The Italian Job" look like "The Lady Killers". The movie milks Jason Statham of all his coolness and channels it perfectly.

4/4 stars

*The Hard Corps(2006)* - Jean-Claude Van Damme is an army veteran hired to be the bodyguard of  boxer. Pretty generic action flick, but at least Van Damme is still a few knotches higher than Steven Seagal. Link removed

2/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 29, 2008)

The Bank Job was 35% porno.

I disagree with your review of Zatoichi with a 2/4 rating. Anything with a blind samurai in it is an automatic 3/4 at the very least. 

What did you think about Yojimbo meets Zatoichi?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2008)

Nah, the only sex was
-the opening scene
-the beginning of a sex scene with a black guy and that spy girl.

I'm generally a huge fan of all the films, I simply thought "Tales of Zatoichi Continues" was a letdown compared to the first one(which its a direct sequel too). It feels convoluted, not as intelligent and the score is misplaced(sounds like a horror film). 

I'd probably give Zatoichi meets yojimbo a 3.5/4 or a 4/4. Its my personal favorite, and I intend to watch it again one day so I can review it. Another Zatoichi film I love, but havent reviewed is "Zatoichi meets the one-armed man" or something of the sort, which has Ichi face off against a Chinese film hero(The One-armed swordsman). It's pretty cool, although kind of cheezy.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 30, 2008)

*Hero(2005) *- Jet Li is a warrior who relays to a King how he killed three assassins. Stunningly beautiful film with great fight scenes and a great cast. It gets old after the first viewing however...RAIHOU PLUSH PREORDER!!!

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 30, 2008)

The one-armed man on was good. I remember him being super-strong in his other arm or something, but that could be a differnet movie he appeared in I am thinking of... 

How about Master of the Flying Guillotine? If you haven't seen that one, you should. The old blind guy has a swastika on his clothes.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 30, 2008)

In the Zatoichi one with the one armed man, he has this wierd ability to jump up super high. I havent actually seen "The One Armed Swordsman" movie, but its on netflix....

Same with "Master". 

To answer an earlier question, I havent seen "Wild Zero" either. But I have seen "Junk".


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 31, 2008)

There Will be Blood?! 

This movie wasn't awful, but it wasn't that good, either. It was boring. That's not a good thing for a movie. It was drawn out to the point of nausea. The story progressed very slowly and was pointless. I don't get a 4/4 for this.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2008)

I can understand why people hate it........it doesn't go by the linear structure people are used to. It's also very long, and the ending was pretty wierd....

Maybe its because I had low expectations that I liked it so much?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2008)

*Once Upon A Time In China(1991)* - Wong Fei Hung is becoming tired of foreign influence, especially when those dirty Americans begin capturing people for slavery. Lots of energy, lots of fight scenes, and Jet Li owns in the role. Might be kind of racist for some, however. [/CENTER]

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 1, 2008)

Maybe it's because my expectations were so high, who's to say? I actually prefer a movie to be at least 2 hours, so length doesn't bother me. I just didn't really like that movie very much... it was pretty weird.


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## Comic Book Guy (Aug 1, 2008)

Iron Monkey is a must.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 2, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Once upon a time in the West*- Sergio Leone makes a western arthouse film. It's brilliant, from the directing to the acting(Henry Fonda owns). however, you might fall asleep during the viewing.....Link removed
> 
> 3/4 stars





MartialHorror said:


> *The Good, the bad, and the ugly*: Three men hunt for gold during the civil war. This western classic borderlines art. Leone keeps on throwing at us spectacular and memorable scenes, the script is epic and solid, and the acting is in top form. It may be the best western ever made. Even the overlong length isnt that bothersome. Who doesn't love the classic score by Ennio Morricone? Link removed
> 
> 4/4



Anyone who complains about a Sergio Leone film being long is a peasant.

Well, I can understand someone complaining about A Fistful of Dynamite.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 2, 2008)

I guess I'm glad I didn't complain about the length in those?(Although I may have in my full review, I dont remember)

I havent seen "Dynamite" yet. It was actually on last night, under the title of "Duck, you sucker!" Someone was clearly smoking the weed when they decided on that title...


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## Vonocourt (Aug 2, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> I havent seen "Dynamite" yet. It was actually on last night, under the title of "Duck, you sucker!" Someone was clearly smoking the weed when they decided on that title...



For some reason, Sergio Leone thought it was common american slang.

As for the movie, it's still good...just decidedly less than the films that came before it. He made up for it though with Once Upon a Time in America.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 3, 2008)

Hey Martial, you call this a action movie review thread...yet you don't have a review of Road House.


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## The Drunken Monkey (Aug 3, 2008)

You got to review Fist Of Legend. That was one of Jet Li's best.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 4, 2008)

*the Incredible Hulk(2008) *- Bana is still angsting because he cant get rid of his Hulk side, and thinks get complicated when a new Hulkish monster arrives. Ugh, I dont get why everyone worships this movie and hates the original. It lacks the style, the action, and COMPLETELY recycles the character development of the first film. Nevertheless, it moves swiftly and has some cool action sequences. 

2.5/4


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## shadycheese (Aug 4, 2008)

Drunken Master 4/5
Drunken Master II 4/5

all featuring Jackie Chan


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 5, 2008)

People love Hulk 2008 because it had the curbstomping Edward Norton in it.


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 6, 2008)

I was surprised with Pathfinder, really. I eas expecting a shitty shit-fest, but it wasn't _that_ bad. I'd probably rate it the same. Entertainment for when you have nothing better to do.


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## Shibo (Aug 6, 2008)

hey MartialHorror I just bought this dvd of Akira Kurosawa, Kagemusha. Its pretty old ( 1980) but I wondered if youve seen it? And if yes what you rate it. I havent seen it yet and really have no idea what to expect


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2008)

I'm not sure what I'd rate it, because I havent seen it for such a long time. It is a stunningly beautiful movie, however.
At least a 3/4, maybe more.


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## The Drunken Monkey (Aug 6, 2008)

On the topic of old japanese movies...

Seven Samurai is a *Over 9000/4*


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## Shibo (Aug 7, 2008)

okay cool thx n_n

^Then Ill watch that movie as well


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2008)

*Raiders of the Lost Ark(1981)* Indiana Jones and an old flame hunt down the Ark of the Covenant. While a bit dated, it is the ultimate adventure film. The first in the Indiana Jones series, followed up by "Temple of Doom". *[Aznmedia.net] Chihara Minori - Ameagari no Hana Yo Sake[2008.8.6].rar*

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2008)

*Batman and Robin(1997) *- Batman and Robin must figure out their personal shit while fighting off Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bane. The movie is attractive visually, but the convoluted story and the crappy dialogue ruin it. Fahrenheit 1/15 Part VI: Testimony of Gemstones

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2008)

*Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull(2008) *- Indy returns hunt down a mysterious crystal skull. Personally, i thought it was about as good as the other films. It almost makes me want to see more Indiana Jones films! enter the site

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 12, 2008)

Damn, MH, you sure watch and rate a lot of movies! :amazed

I was always curious about The Myth, having never watched it. Looks like I'll skip that one.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 12, 2008)

On this computer, I have 6 reviews I need to put online. On my other computer, I have about 10............

They all include "Pirates of the Carribean 3"(which Ill post tomorrow), Sleepaway Camp, Bay of Blood, No Country for Old Men, Jaws 4, The Wrong Man, Chopping Mall, Sometimes they Come back, Godzilla VS SpaceGodzilla and many more.

That doesn't even include the movies I intend to watch throughout the week.....so for now, its safe to say I wont be running out of reviews for awhile


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## Vonocourt (Aug 12, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> They all include "Pirates of the Carribean 3"(which Ill post tomorrow), Sleepaway Camp, Bay of Blood, *No Country for Old Men,* Jaws 4, The Wrong Man, Chopping Mall, Sometimes they Come back, Godzilla VS SpaceGodzilla and many more.



Hmm, I wonder how you'll rate that film.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2008)

*The Star Wars Holiday Special(1978)*- Chewbacca's family celebrates life day in this snorefest. I occasionally will criticize George Lucas's directing, but the director here makes Lucas look like Akira Kurosawa. It's about 15 minutes of crappy material stretched into 2 hours long, complete with lots of fake advertisements, a cartoon where the Star Wars cast are the heroes(even though this movie takes place before "Empire Strikes Back", so the Empire is still in control), crappy music videos, and Bea Arthur singing. There is absolutely nothing here worth watching for. I now hate Star Wars....Raw	[HorribleRaws]​_Naruto​_Shippuuden​_-​_71​_(480x270).wmv

ZERO/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2008)

*Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix(2007)* - Harry Potter hits puberty and begins questioning his sexuality....kidding, he has some visions and some mess. It's the worst HP flick. The novel wasn't great, but it still worked. As a movie, it has too much going on in too little time, and everything feels underdeveloped. Nice special effects though...Link removed

1.5/4


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## Vonocourt (Aug 16, 2008)

I thought that was the second best HP flick, then again it seems like I'm the only who likes the fifth book the most.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2008)

*Spanks Vono* BAD VONOCOURT! BAD!

Anyway, I'm not a huge HP fan. The first two films were kind of bland, the third was uneven, the fourth was actually really cool, but also pretty flawed. The 5th to me, just was a bad idea. The book basically comprised of alot of subplots working as the plot. Books can get away with it, movies rarely can(there are exceptions). In all honesty, when I originally wrote the review I only gave it 2/4 stars, but decided to give it a lower rating to make a point that I thought it was the worst of them. HP5 might be the best 1.5/4 star rating on my site...however.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 17, 2008)

It's been a while since I watched it though, maybe I'll give it another try when I get a new subwoofer.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2008)

Maybe I'd like it more after a 2nd viewing.....tis a shame I usually don't watch movies I dont like twice......

*Bulletproof(1996): *Damon Wayans is an undercover cop who is accidently shot by his crooked friend(Adam Sandler). When he wakes up and recovers, he learns he must escort Sandler to safety from James Caan, an evil druglord. It's often amusing, sleezy, has some cool action and twists. Wayans and Sandler do have chemistry and the movie never slows down. Not a classic, but it's still pretty cool.

2.5/4 stars


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## Shoddragon (Aug 17, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Batman and Robin(1997) *- Batman and Robin must figure out their personal shit while fighting off Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bane. The movie is attractive visually, but the convoluted story and the crappy dialogue ruin it. [HorribleRaws]​_Code​_Geass​_R2​_-​_19​_(480?270).​wmv
> 
> 1.5/4



I disagree with this. it should have gotten a 0.5/4 .


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 18, 2008)

Imagine you could only recommend a dying man one movie to watch. What would it be?


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## Captain Apoo (Aug 19, 2008)

Picked up Kung Fu Hustle for £4 at HMV, gotta say I love this movie.

I had high expectations from Chow's other movie Shaolin Soccer, but this blows it out of the water. 

The fighting styles, the ridiculous plot, the Beast, this movie is just a fucking epic.

Watch it!


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2008)

Yeah, those are some good ones. Eventually I'll review Stephen Chou's new movie.......

*Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx(1972)* - The second entry in the Lone Wolf series follows Ogami Itto and his son as they hunt down a farmer, who is being protected by three legendary warriors. He also has to avoid some female ninja. Whereas "Sword of Vengeance" went down the more artistic route, "River Styx" settles for being more action oriented. I don't think it's quite as memorable, but not as uneven either. Reborn Dropped

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2008)

*Samurai Resurrection(1981) *- Also known as Makai Tensho, this Samurai/semi-horror hybrid about Yagyu Jubei(Sonny Chiba) taking on resurrected famous warriors(including Musashi) is sadly....disapointing. Just kind of bland and forgettable.....Link removed

2/4


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## Vonocourt (Aug 21, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah, those are some good ones. Eventually I'll review Stephen Chou's new movie.......



CJ7? I heard it was awful.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 22, 2008)

I hear mixed things....

Holy shit, I ran out of stock reviews. So until I watch and review another action/martial arts movie......there wont be a daily update.

I plan on seeing "Death Race" within the week, so that will probably be my next viewing.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 24, 2008)

*Death Race(2008) *- Jason Stathem is framed for murder and has to enter a murderous car race to get his freedom. Brainless, dumb, forgettable action flick....but hell, I was entertained. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 27, 2008)

*The Way to Fight(1996)* - Takashi Miike directs another coming of age story about a pair of brawlers who eventually will clash. As always, I think Takashi Miike should do more than these coming of age dramas....but hell, he does them so well! Link removed

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 1, 2008)

(Note: My Computer crashed so I'm a few days late)

*Babylon A.D(2008) *- In a desolate future, a mercenary has to transport a woman with unique abilities to New York. The fact that the director hated this didn't bother me, as the director of American History X hated his movie as well. However, I was bothered by how poorly edited this was. It's a shame, because it feels like it should be a good movie. Source

2.5/4

*Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades(1972) *- The Lone Wolf and Cub assassin duo take on another job, but my have met their match. The third entry in the series is easily the best(so far). Very poetic and lyrical, but has some kickass action scenes as well. The series has finally hit its stride. Source

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2008)

*No Country For Old Men(2007)* -A vietnam vet comes across some drug money, decides to run off with it, and is hunted down by a vicious hitman. Arguably one of the best action films of all time, but loses it's edge with one of the most unsatisfying endings of all time.  *Here.*

3.5/4

Tomorrows review will Bangkok Dangerous(Not sure if I'll do a full review, however) and if I dont do a full review for that, in the horror thread will be "The Last Man on Earth"


----------



## Kira U. Masaki (Sep 6, 2008)

^hey i just saw that the other day, overall it was not bad all things considered
would you say deathrace merits a movie theatre showing, or dvd is fine
and although i heard mixed things about cj7 they finally got it at blockbuster and ill check it out


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2008)

I think Death Race is better as a DVD viewing.


----------



## Kira U. Masaki (Sep 7, 2008)

i figured, jason s. has kinda played one bad role after since crank, hopefully transporter 3 will kick ass 
btw anyone know the dif between the original and new version of BD


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2008)

Bangkok Dangerous? No, but I intend to see the original.


----------



## Kira U. Masaki (Sep 7, 2008)

ive seen it at blockbuster a couple of times and always thought about renting, but something better always came up


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 9, 2008)

lol, I havent been to the videostore in awhile......God bless netflix.

*Akira Kurosawa's Dreams(1990) *- If you don't know who directed this, then smack yourself over the head right now and find out who Akira Kurosawa is and go watch his movies. This is about 8 different dreams, apparently dreamed up by Kurosawa himself. It's visually brilliant, but has alot of downtime. 10

3/4

(Next Review shall be "The Wax House"(Not the recent remake with Paris Hilton) which will be in the horror section)


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2008)

*Dance of Death(1976)* - Also known as "Wu Quan", Angela Mao stars as a woman pretending to be man who trains under two masters so she can avenge some guys she just met......think Jackie Chan's older movies, except replace him with Mao, who is actually very good! It's a funny, entertaining, well choreographed kung fu flick. link

3/4

(Next up, "Blood and Black Lace" in the horror thread)


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2008)

*Eagle Eye(2008)* - Exciting film about two strangers getting a mysterious phone call from a woman who seems to be able to do anything. They must do what she says, or die. Good ole fun times, even though it often feels like a ripoff of "I, Robot". Link removed.

3/4


----------



## Rukia (Sep 27, 2008)

Martial Arts movie thread?

I just bought The City of Violence.  Don't know much about it.  It's from Dragon Destiny and I typically like their presentations.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 28, 2008)

Never heard of it.

*Hitman(2006)* - A hitman is set up by a client and now must solve the problem with his guns. It's a fairly fun adaptation of a video game, but it's far from a good movie. 


2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 29, 2008)

*Batman Returns(1992) *- Batman must fight off Penguin and Catwoman. Batman(89) was a very ambitious but flawed film. Burton makes up for it by making this more focused, focusing more on the relationships, then the incredible looking city. Nevertheless, it's all there and manages to be very effective. A nice blend of noir and expressionism in this comic book fairy tale from hell. Super Metroid

3.5/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Sep 29, 2008)

I acually kinda like Hitman. It had lots of good action, pointless nudity, and swords. Anything with swords in it has to be good!


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 29, 2008)

Thats why I gave it a 2/4....


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Sep 29, 2008)

I thought 2 was poor?


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 29, 2008)

2/4 generally means

1) Average
2) Good for a bad film.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 5, 2008)

*Throne of Blood(1957) *-Another Akira Kurosawa/Toshiro Mifune collaberation that is about two soldiers who hear  a prophecy from a ghost and go down a path of treachury and bloodshed. Kurosawa's moody atmosphere makes the film look like a horror film while Mifune gives the strongest performance of his career. I should warn you, however. It's kind of slow..this

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 9, 2008)

*Godzilla Vs Spacegodzilla(1994)* - Godzilla must stop Spacegodzilla, a stronger version of himself. A very fun adventure/monster flick that should be liked by most fans. The Tip of the Iceberg

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2008)

*The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior(2008)* - Mathayus is a young man who must travel through the underworld to find a sword so he can get his revenge on an evil sorcerer/king. It's a DTV prequel to a forgettable prequel to an overhyped sequel to a surprisingly fun remake which continues to spawn sequels to an old film which spawned plenty of ripoffs and sequels itself...............the result? What do you think?  know something about what you're talking 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 14, 2008)

*The Art of War II: Betrayal(2008)* - Wesley Snipes is back in the sequel to that one demanded. He's a retired agent who is currently working as a movie consultant, but somehow gets dragged into another conspiracy. Cheezy and convoluted as hell, but at least some effort into it......making it one of the better DTV type movies. ITO

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2008)

*Karate for Life(1977)* - A sonny chiba vehicle about a karate expert(based on a real life legend) who struggles pennyless and eventually must take on the mob. It isn't sure if it wants to be a drama or a Bruce Lee ripoff, so it feels uneven. Regardless, the drama is done surprisingly well, the fight scenes(when they happen) are on and Chiba gives his finest performance. [gg]​_Toradora​_-​_03v2​_EFFORT​_Patch.rar

2.5/4


----------



## Shoddragon (Oct 18, 2008)

not to steel MH's thunder, but if anyone wants to see some kind of mini video review/story review for some of the godzilla movie's/some history about it, check out Angry Video Game nerd's godzillathon.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2008)

Godzillathon!

*Max Payne(2008)* - Not sure which thread to put this, because it has both action/horror elements, so I'll post it in both! Max Payne, a disgruntled detective, hunts for the murderer of his family which leads him to a string of serial killings as well as a drug that makes you see demonic visions. Another example of an inspired director doing his best with a shoddy script.....FUCKING NASTY SHIT LOL

2.5/4


----------



## isanon (Oct 18, 2008)

if you havnt you should check out From beijing with love

its a stephen chao made james bond parody 

its awesome and crap at the same time


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2008)

Will look out for it.

*The Colossus of Rhodes(1961) *- Sergio Leone's directoral debut about a greek hero who gets caught in a conspiracy on rhodes. The lavish photography can't even save this movie from being utterly boring. Conor McGregor

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 23, 2008)

*Once Upon a time in America(1984)* - The rise and fall of a group of Jewish gangsters. Not really something I'd usually post here but for the sake of Sergio Leone, I figured I'd go ahead.. After all, I did post Kurosawa's "Dreams". It's 4 hours long and it often doesn't make sense and has a slow pace.....but damn, every movement and every angle points to this being art. The score by Morricone, the cinematography(same guy who did "Good, Bad and the Ugly") and the acting are all amazing. Vampire Knight Guilty 3

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2008)

*Sanshiro Sugata(1943)* -A man learns Judo and must defend his school while experiencing self growth. Touching, superbly shot flick by Akira Kurosawa(in his debut). Source

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2008)

*Lone Wolf in Cub: In Peril(1972)* - The 4th Lone Wolf movie has assassins Ogami Itto(Lone Wolf) and his young son(Cub) hunting down some naked Yakuza chick. On the way, the shadow yagyu hunts them down. The story is getting repetitive and the directing is cheezy, but they throw in alot of gore and boobs to make up for it. If the last movie was the highest point of the series, this one is the lowest....still, not bad. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## Daxcheese (Oct 27, 2008)

I was really expecting to see lots of kung fu flicks , oh well ....

*MOVIES I RECOMMEND*


*Dragons Forever* - Awesome film starring Jackie Chan , Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao. The first hour and ending are action-packed or hilarious, and usually a combination of both. And when I say fight scenes, I mean some crazy shit. 82/100

*The Shaolin Temple* - Jet Li's first and (in my opinion) best film. Action scenes are really well choreographed, no wires at all, and you can see how kung fu flicks influenced break dancing ! You see several fighting styles, bu most prominently is the drunken sword style, which looks pretty sweet ! 80/100

*The Young Master* - Classic Kung Fu flick starring Jackie Chan and Yuen Biao. The end fight is probably the best fight sequence Ive ever seen, and called the longest 1 on 1 kung fu movie fight ever ! The movie that got me into kung fu flicks when I was 14. 85/100

And alot of other old school Jackie Chan movies !


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2008)

Actually, I expected more as well....my netflix list takes awhile to get to them I suppose. Anyway, I have a written review of DragonLord(jackie chan movie)........but dont know when it will be up. I've seen Dragons Forever and it is decent.....same with Young Master....but its one of those early Jackie Chan flicks that seems to blend together with the others.

Dragon Lord I think was originally supposed to be a sequel to that one.....


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2008)

*Godzilla Vs Megaguirus(2000) *- Godzilla takes on a giant insect.....near the end of the movie. Most of the movie focuses on a slew of cliched characters who have sworn vengeance on Godzilla and intend to use a black hole to kill him. Fun anime-inspired final battle barely saves this from terrible special effects and some severe plot idiocies. For fans only. Barack Obama is Malcolm X's illegitimate child...

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 3, 2008)

*Dragon Lord(1982)* - A martial artist and his comical friend become rivals of love. Awesome stunts and good fight scenes make up for the fact it has no plot whatsoever.....Jackie Chan did this after his first attempts to get into the U.S market. Chuck Baldwin (President) 
Darrell Castle (VP)

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 4, 2008)

*In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale(2007)* - Uwe Boll directs this LOTR style fantasy about a warrior hunting down a sorceror who has kidnapped his wife........a big budgeted Uwe Boll movie is just a bad movie with a big budget........still, it's pretty fun in a bad way. the Gaza campaign contributions - a story Atlas broke in July.

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 11, 2008)

*Black Belt(2007) *-Students of a karate school are recruited to teach the military during WW2, but go down different paths.......but go down the route you know they will. Stale plot/drama is a factor, but the karate fight scenes are so superb, you dont really care. Link removed

3.5/4


----------



## Rukia (Nov 11, 2008)

*Jackie Chan's Gorgeous*: 8.0/10.


----------



## narutorulez (Nov 12, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Once Upon a time in America(1984)* - The rise and fall of a group of Jewish gangsters. Not really something I'd usually post here but for the sake of Sergio Leone, I figured I'd go ahead.. After all, I did post Kurosawa's "Dreams". It's 4 hours long and it often doesn't make sense and has a slow pace.....but damn, every movement and every angle points to this being art. The score by Morricone, the cinematography(same guy who did "Good, Bad and the Ugly") and the acting are all amazing. Link removed
> 
> 4/4



Fuck yeah! my favorite movie of all time! I would love to see the whole movie though. They might soon release a 6 hour long version of it on dvd! that will be so epic!


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2008)

Been awhile since I've seen Gorgeous...cant remember it. Yeah, a 6 hr release would be the smex.

*Space Amoeba(1977)* - A giant squid, crap and snapping turtle invade a small island....could aliens be the reason? Ishiro Honda gives us a very colorfull, fun kaiju flick that actually kept my interest.....campiness aside. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 19, 2008)

*Shoguns Samurai(1978) *-Also known as the Yagyu Conspiracy, two heirs of the shogunate conspire against eachother. Massive cast(including Sonny Chiba, Tetsuro Tamba, Toshiro Mifune and more) with superb acting, writing, directing and some of the most interesting characters ever put in cinema. My personal favorite Samurai film. this

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 20, 2008)

*Harakiri(1962)* -Old school samurai drama about a ronin wishing to commit seppuku in a lords courtyard.....but is that his real intention? Tatsuya Nadakai and Tetsuro Tamba own in this movie, which is a bit too slow, but will keep you thinking. better

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 24, 2008)

*Rashomon(1950)* -A commoner, priest and woodcutter discuss an unusual murder case, in which the testimony is all contradictory. It's a samurai-drama that actually might be one of the best movies ever made. Jumpstarted Toshiro Mifune's career and made Akira Kurosawa into a legend. 

4/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Nov 24, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Shoguns Samurai(1978) *-Also known as the Yagyu Conspiracy, two heirs of the shogunate conspire against eachother. Massive cast(including Sonny Chiba, Tetsuro Tamba, Toshiro Mifune and more) with superb acting, writing, directing and some of the most interesting characters ever put in cinema. My personal favorite Samurai film. One Piece: Romance Dawn
> 
> 4/4


I don't think I've seen this one, but anything with Mifune in it is instantly a must-see. 



MartialHorror said:


> *Rashomon(1950)* -A commoner, priest and woodcutter discuss an unusual murder case, in which the testimony is all contradictory. It's a samurai-drama that actually might be one of the best movies ever made. Jumpstarted Toshiro Mifune's career and made Akira Kurosawa into a legend.
> 
> 4/4


 Agreed. This is a wonderful movie. I can't count how many erections it gave me from its sheer awesomeness. I just can't do it.


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 24, 2008)

lol, unfortunately, Mifune doesn't have a large role in Shoguns Samurai. It's just a slightly extended cameo. I guess a little Mifune>No Mifune.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Nov 24, 2008)

That is disappointing. However, any Mifune warrants a watch; even a cameo.


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 27, 2008)

*Sukiyaki Western Django(2007) *-Takashi Miike directs this remake of Fistful of Dollars/Yojimbo and combines Japanese/Cowboy elements. It's cool, and often funny, but it feels more like a love letter to Tarantino and Leone instead of a Takashi Miike film. Link removed

2.5/4

*Zatoichi, The Fugitive(1963)* -Zatoichi protects a young, naive yakuza from the scary ones. Decent, but confusing. This is the 4th film of the series. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## Captain Pimp (Nov 28, 2008)

Yea, *Sukiyaki* was pretty good. Would only recommend it if people enjoy western stuff and Japanese culture. 

Bloody Baron pretty much took the stage imo


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 29, 2008)

yup, she owned. Its funny how in the final battle, she looks pretty hot.

*Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring(2001)* -A small group of people have to travel to Mount Doom to destroy a Ring that contains the Dark Lords power. Out of all the trilogy, this one blew me away the most. It brought me into its world and you know what? I didnt want to leave. When the sequels came around, well, let's just say I kept glancing at my watch after awhile.....I laughed myself shitless OH SHI-

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 1, 2008)

*Flight of Fury(2007) *-Steven Seagal plays the same badass we've seen plenty of times before who must retrieve a stolen super-stealth jet from terrorists......too dark to see an already crappy movie. Its probably Seagals worst film to date....which REALLY says alot. link

0.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 5, 2008)

*Sajuro(1962)* - Kurosawa's followup to "Yojimbo" has Sanjuru(Toshiro Mifune) helping out a group of young samurai in a dangerous conspiracy. Not as memorable as its predecessor, but it's still a pretty good movie. Link removed

3/4


----------



## ninjaq (Dec 6, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> Its probably Seagals worst film to date....which REALLY says alot.


You could say that about ANY Seagal movie


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 6, 2008)

ninjaq said:


> You could say that about ANY Seagal movie



Disagreed. This one is worse than all of those........although I do remember REALLY hating Mercenary of Justice.......


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 10, 2008)

*Batman Forever(1995)* - Batman fights two-face and Riddler with the help of Robin. Boring, bland and campy entry in the Batman franchise. Link removed

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 16, 2008)

*Born to Defense(1986) *- Jet Li stars as a Chinese war vet that is sick of being pushed around by the U.S soldiers during WW2. Its time to bring out the kung fu! Amazing stunts in fight scenes make this worth watching. DvDrip-aXXo"]here

3/4


----------



## Shock Therapy (Dec 16, 2008)

赤イヌ大将 said:


> ok as for game of death, is it Bruce LEE or Bruce LI. two different people. Bruce Li was the world renowned  martial artist, the one from enter the dragon. Bruce Lee is just a person with a similar name and isn't really famous. So which one is it?



you got it reversed. Bruce Lee is the world renowned martial artist and Bruce Li is the imitator.


----------



## Chee (Dec 19, 2008)

I was hoping Mongol would be awesome ever since I heard of it, but yea, I agree with your review. It was slightly disappointing.


----------



## Botzu (Dec 19, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Punisher: War Zone(2008)* - The Punisher accidently kills an undercover agent and has to face off against one of his victims. Brutal, vicious action flick with lots of stylized lighting and cool action at the expense of any plot. It's pretty bad, but also pretty cool. Link removed
> 
> 2.5/4


heh this movie is a must see just for the scene where these 3 guys are jumping across buildings doing trick flips and the main character shoots a bazooka and blows one of them into dust mid flip slow motion. totally ridiculous!


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 21, 2008)

Chee: That's pretty much what I thought too. 

Botzu: That's probably the most memorable scene.

*Bangkok Dangerous(1999) *- The story of a deaf-mute Hitman, as he trains, falls in love, and kills. The Pang Brothers go all out in style to the point of being annoying. The main character was the psychotic camera work, which shouldn't be the case in a CHARACTER DRAMA. I just found it annoying and dull. Still, it has its moments and at least the Pangs go all out. The remake is better. lady's mention on Lambiek.net

2/4


----------



## Shoddragon (Dec 21, 2008)

rawrawraw said:


> you got it reversed. Bruce Lee is the world renowned martial artist and Bruce Li is the imitator.



O I know that. That particular day I had forgotten for some reason tho.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2009)

*The Spirit(2008)* - The Spirit is an undead superhero who must fight off the Octopus, an undead supervillain. No plot, crap dialogue, laughable acting and the over-the-top directing make this quite amusing, but still bad. Pre-airing special raw 

1.5/4


----------



## Yacoob (Jan 4, 2009)

jet li's fearless is great


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2009)

Agreed.

*Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons(1973)* - To discover his next assignment, Lone Wolf has to defeat 5 monks so he can get pieces of his reward and peices of info each time he defeats one. It's different from the last few entries and pretty good at it. Not the best in the series, but still good. SOE: PlayStation 3 MMOs will be huge

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 12, 2009)

*Speed Racer(2008) *- Speed Racer races among a crapload of confusing subplots. It's bubblegum CGI is the true factor of if you will like it or hate it. Everything else is straight up bad.....5 - The Journey to Utgard

1.5/4


----------



## Purgatory (Jan 12, 2009)

Are you anticipating that the Astroboy movie will be good, or just another crapfest like Speed Racer?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 12, 2009)

From what little I've seen of Astroboy, I'd say BAD.

The only anime-to-movies that work are the ones that are easily adaptable in every aspect. "Death Note" is the only real good one, and its only "anime-ish" aspect(Ryuk) is its only weakness.

This is why I dont care that Dragonball is being changed so much. I'd rather a decent movie that barely contains what the manga contained than a direct copy(like that Chinese dragonball movie).


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2009)

*Erik the Conqueror(1961)* -Eric and Eron are brothers seperated at birth. Eric has become a british nobleman and Eron a Viking General. They clash. Fun stuff. Mario Bava is one of the few horror directors who can do other things than horror. PC monitor

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2009)

*Master of the Flying Guillotine(1975)* - A martial artist who uses a 'flying guillotine' hunts down the famed one armed boxer. It's arguably the wierdest kung fu flick ever made. I've never seen bad look so.....good. [AoShen]Tetsuwan Birdy Decode 02 episode 1 HD.mkv

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2009)

*Bloodsport(1988)* -Jean Claude Van Damme travels to Hong Kong to compete in an underground tournament. The fight scenes are superb enough for me to rate this positively, because everything else about it is pretty laughable. Still, Van Damme was kind of awesome back then......even if his acting is pretty laughable too. Link removed

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2009)

*Four of the Apocalypse(1975)* -Lucio Fulci's art house western about four strangers trecking through the desert is superbly shot, but not very well paced. 
Maxconsole

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2009)

*Zatoichi: The Festival of Fire(1970) *- The 70's was an experimental time for Japanese Cinema in terms of style and the fact they became gorier and had more nudity. This Zatoichi film, about the Blind Swordsman Ichi wandering from town to town and getting in trouble, reflects that. No plot and a slower pace, but it has some great comedy, awesome direction, lots of colors and some slick fight scenes. Link removed

3/4


----------



## Grandmaster Kane (Feb 7, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Kill Switch(2008) *-Steven Seagals latest film about a detective hunting down a serial killer. It has its moments(when it wants to be a horror flick), but when Seagal goes into Seagal mode, it becomes bad. Feels almost like multiple movies were spliced into one. Link
> 
> 
> 1/4




Lulz I rented the movie and it was EPIC!

It was so bad it deserves a spot in my top movie list.

I had to watch the scene where he beats the guy in the bar a couple of times to figure out who was supposed to be talking.


----------



## Nakor (Feb 8, 2009)

you should watch *wheels on meals*. great old school jackie chan movie with sammo hung and Yuen Biao.

i checked out your site and it isn't listed.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2009)

I've seen it, but it was LONG before I reviewed it. Ummmmmm, Im not sure how I'd rate it. Loved it the first time I watched it, not so much the 2nd time. But I am interesting in watching it again.

D-War: Dragon Wars(2007) -A korean production with American actors(and taking place in America), that's apparently the most expensive Korean movie ever made. Well, the dragons are pretty cool, but that's it.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2009)

*Casshern(2004) *-Ever watch "End of Evangelion"? Well this kind of reminded me of that at the end. However, it's preachy message sort of ruins the pacing and hell if I know what the hell was going on through this movie. Still, the visuals are impressive and somehow I gave a damn about the characters. Based on an anime, it's about a man who gaines superhuman powers in a devestated futuristic world. link

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 20, 2009)

*Push(2009)* - People with special powers are hunted down by the Government. Sound familiar? This blatant rip-off of "X-Men" and "Jumper"(??) has a good cast, but they can only do so much in this generic, poorly written action-thriller that somehow LACKS THE ACTUAL ACTION. *The enemies of unions and the lies they tell*

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2009)

*City Hunter(1993)* - Jackie Chan stars as City Hunter, based on the manga character. He gets on a ship that terrorists are about to take over. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid movie with little fighting. Easily Chan's worst. this

1/4


----------



## Nakor (Feb 23, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *City Hunter(1993)* Easily Chan's worst.



Wow. That is a bold statement. I only saw part of the tuxedo but if you are saying it is worse than that then I don't understand how you gave it a 1.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2009)

lol, The Tuxedo, to me, was simply occasionally annoying, occasionally cool, but mostly forgettable........which sums up most of his american movies.


----------



## Nakor (Feb 24, 2009)

I've also heard that Around the World in 80 Days was just awful. I have yet to see it though.

I mostly agree though. The only American movies I like that he was in was Rush Hour, Shanghai Noon, and Rumble in the Bronx. I also liked supercop and first strike, though I feel liike I shouldn't count them as American movies. But his chinese movies are far and away better.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 24, 2009)

Rumble in the Bronx isn't an american movie, even though its supposed to take place in America(I think its filmed in Australia).

I didnt mind Around the World in 80 Days that much. The fight scenes were just okay but I liked the comic relief guy. Still pretty average.......

Hated the Medallion.


----------



## Nakor (Feb 24, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Rumble in the Bronx isn't an american movie, even though its supposed to take place in America(I think its filmed in Australia).



Really? Were the voices dubbed over for the english version?


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 24, 2009)

I don't remember. Its been years since I've seen it. However, I do remember them all having australian accents.


----------



## Nakor (Feb 25, 2009)

I havne't seen it in along time too. Are you sure you aren't talking about Jackie Chan's First Strike? I know part of that movie is in Australia.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 25, 2009)

That movie takes place in Australia. I dont remember where Rumble was filmed(I think it's australia), I just know its not America(Chan even says one of the flaws of the movie in his autobiography is that if you've been to New York(or was it LA?), that the locations are obviously off).


----------



## Nakor (Feb 25, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> That movie takes place in Australia. I dont remember where Rumble was filmed(I think it's australia), I just know its not America(Chan even says one of the flaws of the movie in his autobiography is that if you've been to New York(or was it LA?), that the locations are obviously off).



Oh really. That's interesting. I've never been to NY or downtown LA, so no wonder why I was clueless. haha. 

Well then I really only liked 2 of his american movies. I can deal with rush hour 2, but I wouldn't call it good. rush hour 3 = vomit.

I just purchased police story 2. I am excited for it.


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## CrazyMoronX (Feb 25, 2009)

I actually really liked City Hunter.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 25, 2009)

lol, I actually kind of prefer Rush Hour 2 over 1. The fight scenes are a step down but I think Tucker is funny.

lol, I think I say in the City Hunter review that some people will like it. Cult stuff.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 7, 2009)

*Watchmen(2009) *-Zack Snyder of the "300" fame directs this snobbish, pretentious, flamboyant superhero soap opera(!!!!) about a superhero being murdered and how his colleagues respond to his death. As an understudy, it shines. As an action movies.....well, people fell asleap in my theater. entire forums dedicated to helping people COMMIT suicide?

3/4


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## Captain Pimp (Mar 7, 2009)

If only Jackie did more HK movies...like how he redeemed himself in _New Police Story_.


----------



## mystictrunks (Mar 7, 2009)

Captain Pimp said:


> If only Jackie did more HK movies...like how he redeemed himself in _New Police Story_.



The Shinjuku Inchident
Link removed


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## MartialHorror (Mar 8, 2009)

Yup, although Im not the biggest fan of New Police Story. 

*Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell(1974)* - Lone Wolf and his Cub, the greatest swordsman in Japan, continues his fued with the Yagyus and must challenge a new clan. This entry is arguably the strangest, even having ninja/samurai fighting on ski's. It also has alot of suspense and even a horror-like atmosphere. Still, it lacks the needed finality considering this is supposed to be the final entry in the series. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2009)

*Sister Street Fighter(1974)* -It's just like a kung fu film except it's Japanese and is a karate film. It's about a badass karate chick taking on a drug operation who kidnapped her brother. It's pretty silly, but the brutal fight scenes make it worthwhile. It's a sequel-in-tone to the "Street Fighter" movies, and while Sonny Chiba is in it, he plays a different role.


2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 22, 2009)

*High Risk(1995)* -Known as "Meltdown" in the U.S, bodygaurd Jet Li must stop terrorists who have taken over a fancy hotel. Lots of action barely redeem this annoying action-comedy that underuses it's titular star. Great performance by Jacky Cheung, as a Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan spoof.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2009)

*Urban Justice(2007)* -Badass Steven Seagal avenges his cop son, who was murdered by an evil gang. Bigger budget for a Seagal DTV movie, but it still sucks. Not his worst, however. OMG YES

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2009)

*Hanzo The Razor: Sword of Justice(1972)* - Shintaro Katsu(known as Zatoichi) plays fuedal cop in Japan who is sort of like a blend between "Shaft" and "Dirty Harry". The movie is very offensive(rape is actually seduction if done right, according to this) and the ending is daunting, but the creativity of the directing and Katsu's grand performance make this worth watching. Followed by two sequels. an Iranian Ship moving to Sudan was destroyed

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2009)

I see you've decided to check out Hanzo the Razor. Not a bad move, friend. 

Have you seen JCVD? It's Jean-Claude Van Damme playing himself. Just don't go in expecting a B martial arts film.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 5, 2009)

Nope, but I want too!

*Sister Street Fighter 2(1974) *- ALso known as "Sister Street Fighter: Hanging by a Thread" has hottie badass Koryu taking on a bunch of drug smugglers in order to save her friend. It's basically the same thing as before, which will decide if you like it or not. But where did Sonny Chiba go?????? Drugs are bad
They make you sad
Sometimes glad
But mostly sad

2.5/4


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## KushyKage (Apr 6, 2009)

what you think of Ong Bak 2? Im about to check it out...


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## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2009)

I want to see it, but I'm against dling movies on the computer. Plus, I hate watching them on the comp anyway.


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 6, 2009)

well just watched it man, and wow, i definitely think it totally destroyed every martial art movie out there right now. Dude you should make an exception an watch this one on comp.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2009)

Nah, as I said, I dont like watching them on comp in general. 

A) Comp is slow

B) Screen is too small and crappy looking.

It would ruin the experience for me.


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 7, 2009)

fine but i do hope you realize you're missing out. 

any recommendations to watch right now? action/movie flick heheh


----------



## mystictrunks (Apr 7, 2009)

Ong Bak 2 = :amazed


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## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2009)

Well, Ill review it when it comes out on DVD over here!(or in theaters if that happens...).

As for anything out right now........well, what kind of movie do you want? Old or New? Period piece or current time? Action over everything or plot and character before action?


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 7, 2009)

lol umm decent action and good plot i guess..I kinda hate good action with bad acting and plot. But you can throw anything out there really, i like trust your judgement from your reviews.  Somethin eazy to find though


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## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2009)

Do you have netflix? Some of these movies might be easier to find on netflix. Anyway, here are a few

1) Black Belt(2007).
2) Enter the Dragon
3) Fearless
4) Bloodsport(shorter on plot and acting)
5) Street Fighter(the original Sonny Chiba one)
6) Way of the Dragon(AKA Return of the Dragon)\
7) Born to Defense
8) Dance of Death(short on plot)
9) Dragon: The Bruce Lee story
10) Legend of the Red Dragon

That should start you off.


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 7, 2009)

Thanks yo...checkin em out


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 7, 2009)

Black Belt, eh? I don't think I've seen that one. I'm gonna check that one out, too.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2009)

Black Belt actually has the best fight scenes I've ever seen(arguably; at least in terms of karate). Didn't get a perfect rating due to it's lack of plot/characters, although those are good enough to be passable.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2009)

*Sister Street Fighter 3(1975)* -Also known as "The Return of Sister Street Fighter", badass hottie Koryu must save another family member from gangsters. Same thing as before, except better. Final entry in the Koryu series, although there is another entry with the same actress playing a different role. Safebooru

3/4


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 8, 2009)

oh for real, thanks again for the recommendation. I jus checked out black belt, shit is tight man. That sensei was deep


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2009)

cool! Glad you liked it. Not enough people know about that one.


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 9, 2009)

yeah dude, I think that movie's pretty underground. But damn those one hitter quitters!! i love those deaths with just one hit.....

ok one more favor man, one more recommendation...i've seen most of those movies if not all that your recommended . maybe somethin recent like in the same lines as black belt if you can.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2009)

Ummmmmmmmm, shoot. Haven't seen that many newer martial arts movies lately(they don't make them alot any more).

Kung Fu Hustle? Although that's nothing like Black Belt..........


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 9, 2009)

i've seen it too! XD....

err ok i'll go through your reviews and maybe i'll check the horror ones


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2009)

Tell me if you end of watching any of them.


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 9, 2009)

lol about to, funny you should ask...your latest review Wild Zero...XD


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2009)

lol, you saw Wild Zero?


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 10, 2009)

LOL! lets switch up again XD..how about action movies? any good ones...im diggin here too.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2009)

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

You might like B13. I didn't, but plenty of people did. Ever see Leon the Professional?


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 10, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
> 
> You might like B13. I didn't, but plenty of people did. Ever see Leon the Professional?



B13? nope...Leon yep. So I'll go find B13, who's on it? Oh I actually dig through the thread and im currently dlin Shogun's Samurai? you gave 4 out of 4 so must be good.


----------



## Gabe (Apr 10, 2009)

samurai 7 is a very good old Japanese move. i watched it last time it came out on IFC.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2009)

You mean Seven Samurai?

B13 has no huge stars, and I personally think it's vastly overrated, but it has some hardcore fans.

I didnt reference any samurai because samurai movie fight scenes aren't usually that stylized? But I loved "Shoguns Samurai" anyway, although last I saw, Netflix no longer has it.

Try Kiru(also known as Kill), starring Tatsuya Nakadai. I love that movie.

Have you seen Wanted?


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 10, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> You mean Seven Samurai?
> 
> B13 has no huge stars, and I personally think it's vastly overrated, but it has some hardcore fans.
> 
> ...



Oh i checked it, you mean District 13. I've seen it before too, its awesome cuz of the stunts but yeah cheesy acting except for the villains. 

I love katana and samurai fights! if there's ninjas in this movie then its everything you want in a japanese movie. 

kiru? no i havent seen that or wanted. K good choices, cant believe i didnt think of wanted


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## MartialHorror (Apr 11, 2009)

lol, then you'd love "Shoguns Samurai"(also known as the Yagyu Conspiracy) because it has samurai and ninjas! Hell, the lead is both!

Hmmmm, I'd also say check out "Red Lion" and some Zatoichi movies(reviewed red lion as well as a few zatoichi movies). 

Lone Wolf and Cub is pretty cool as well...


----------



## Slacker (Apr 11, 2009)

Can you recommend me some Kung Fu movie? Something like Jet Li's movies, something along those lines.


----------



## KushyKage (Apr 11, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, then you'd love "Shoguns Samurai"(also known as the Yagyu Conspiracy) because it has samurai and ninjas! Hell, the lead is both!
> 
> Hmmmm, I'd also say check out "Red Lion" and some Zatoichi movies(reviewed red lion as well as a few zatoichi movies).
> 
> Lone Wolf and Cub is pretty cool as well...



hehe i've heard of the blind sword's man, I should check it out. I've heard Lone Wolf is good but its long and too many parts..but I should give it a try.

Im watchin Shogun Samurai right about now. ...let you know how awesome it will be


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 11, 2009)

Voltek said:


> Can you recommend me some Kung Fu movie? Something like Jet Li's movies, something along those lines.



Pardon me if I get the links wrong.

1) Legend of the Red Dragon
2) Hero
3) Fearless
4) Master of the Flying Guillotine
5) Street Fighter(only have reviewed the lame sequels)
6) Sister Street Fighter 3(might as well watch them all though; Note, these are karate flicks)
7) Dance of Death
8) Black Belt (karate flick)
9) Fist of Legend(no review.....)
10) Drunken Master 2(might as well check out part 1 too; Released in the U.S as "Legend of the Drunken Master". Also no review)
11) Once Upon a time in China (all three of them. Will only link part 1....)

Im sure there are more............just not remembering them.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 11, 2009)

*Dragonball Evolution(2009)* -Goku takes on the evil Lord Picollo. Based on the popular manga, the movie really changes too much to please fans but isn't good enough to please everyone else. Still, some of the fight scenes and special effects are pretty cool. Generic. ep 11 ass file

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2009)

*Django(1966)* - Gritty, bleak western about a gunslinger who enters a town only with his clothing, gun, and a coffin. Very entertaining. [Suppiido-Fansubs]_Dragon_Ball_Kai_002_[95EA45DA].avi

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2009)

*Sister Street Fighter, Fifth Level Fist(1976)* - Etsuko Shihomi is back, except not playing the same role from the first "Sister Street Fighter" movie, making it a pretend sequel.....sort of like how Sister Street Fighter pretended to be a sequel to "Street Fighter", starring Sonny Chiba. Kiku, a young karate chick, fights drug runners. Flawed, but at least it's different....Release: Slash Attack

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 18, 2009)

*Danger! Diabolik(1968)* - Two thieves outsmart the cops and run from the law. Think Batman meets Bond. This comic book adaptation comes from an unlikely source, the one and only Mario Bava. Wonderfully shot with grand art design, it's truely one of the only direct comic book adaptations to actually work. I also never thought I'd say this.....but the camp only makes things better. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2009)

ATTENTION: IF I WATCH A MOVIE A SECOND TIME AND CHANGE MY OPINION OF IT, I WILL WRITE AN UPDATED REVIEW. THE OLD REVIEW WILL STILL BE FOUND ON THE PAGE. SO BEGINS MY "REVISED REVIEWS".

*Once Upon a Time in the West(1968)* -Before I thought the movie was an attractive, impressive but rambling mess. Now I see it as a movie that's about how the wild west is dying, replaced by businessman in nice suits. It's a masterpiece in every sense of the word, and is arguably Sergio Leone's best film. Once Upon a time in China

4/4(originally was 3/4)


----------



## masamune1 (Apr 22, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> ATTENTION: IF I WATCH A MOVIE A SECOND TIME AND CHANGE MY OPINION OF IT, I WILL WRITE AN UPDATED REVIEW. THE OLD REVIEW WILL STILL BE FOUND ON THE PAGE. SO BEGINS MY "REVISED REVIEWS".
> 
> *Once Upon a Time in the West(1968)* -Before I thought the movie was an attractive, impressive but rambling mess. Now I see it as a movie that's about how the wild west is dying, replaced by businessman in nice suits. It's a masterpiece in every sense of the word, and is arguably Sergio Leone's best film. Once Upon a time in China
> 
> 4/4(originally was 3/4)



Congratulations on waking up.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2009)

lol.

REVISED REVIEW

*The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor*(2008) - A Chinese Mummy  wants to bring back his undead Mummy and take over China, and then the world(actually, being the Chinese thought China was the whole world at the time, he may have just stopped at China). Before I considered it to be dumb entertainment, and now I consider it to be dumber entertainmen. Once Upon a time in China

2/4(originally was 2.5/4)


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## MartialHorror (Apr 24, 2009)

*Fighting(2009)* - A hustler gets involved with underground fighting. Predictability ensues. Still, it's technically well made. Source

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 26, 2009)

*Police Story(1985)* -Jackie Chan stars as a Police Officer who must protect a witness who is the key to bringing down a drug lord. It works during the action sequences. Unfortunately, the comical scenes are hit-and-miss. Link removed

3/4


----------



## Grandmaster Kane (May 2, 2009)

You review City of violence yet?


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## MartialHorror (May 2, 2009)

Nope, never even heard of it. Is it any good?


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## Grandmaster Kane (May 2, 2009)

Very Good. I always saw it at block buster and thought " WTF is this B movie piece of crap?"

Until I rented it one day...

It now has a place in my top 10

this post...


----------



## MartialHorror (May 2, 2009)

Then I shall check it out.


----------



## Grandmaster Kane (May 2, 2009)

Good decision my man.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 3, 2009)

*Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant All Out Monster Attack(2001)* -Three guardians of earth(Mothra, Ghidorah, Baragon) awake to do battle with Godzilla, who is being controlled by the people who died in WW2 and are taking their revenge on Japan. Flimsy story is redeemed by wonderful visuals and spectacular action battles. here

3.5/4


----------



## Vonocourt (May 5, 2009)

I'm not really experienced(or interested) in these types of films, but hot damn.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 5, 2009)

looks a bit too much like a low(er) budget Tony Jaa movie(even the dude kinda looks like Jaa at times). Still, the stunts and fight scenes look pretty cool and I last bit in the end with the pole looks awesome. I'll see it.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 8, 2009)

*Star Treck(2009)* - The rise of the USS Enterprise and its struggle against an angry Romulan. Good popcorn fun. No clue if fans will like it though. here

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2009)

*Mortal Kombat(1995)* - Earths warriors enter a tournament that will decide the fate of the world. Rip-off of "Mortal Kombat" and pure 90's cheese, but damn I had fun. exceeded his strength

3/4


----------



## RAGING BONER (May 19, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Mortal Kombat(1995)* - Earths warriors enter a tournament that will decide the fate of the world. Rip-off of "Mortal Kombat" and pure 90's cheese, but damn I had fun.
> 
> 3/4



thats a 2 out of 4 at best...

ignore nostalgic MK feelings.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 19, 2009)

I like the gothic sets. Only fans of Mario Bava or Lucio Fulci could truely understand me!!!! *Runs away crying*.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 19, 2009)

*Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation(1997)* - The survivors of the first film do lots of fighting in order to bring down the bratty emperor. Poor narrative, putrid dialogue, weak plot, awkward acting and horrible staging ruin this sequel. Whatever the first film does right, this does wrong and what the first film does wrong, this does to an even greater degree of craptitude. When I grow up

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 21, 2009)

*My Name is Nobody(1973)* -Not a full review, but this western-comedy deserves some mention. If certain parts feel like they were lifted from Sergio Leone, that's because they were directed by him. The rest is just average. Henry Fonda is in top form, but Terence Hill might annoy you. The comedy is a bit too broad for me. Great gimmicky gag though!("Nobody can beat him!")

2.5/4


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## Grandmaster Kane (May 22, 2009)

Where is "City of violence"?

Dont make me cut you.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 22, 2009)

It's on a very long list of movies I intend to see.


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## Grandmaster Kane (May 24, 2009)

How long we talking here?

Titanic long or Lord of the rings trilogy long?


----------



## MartialHorror (May 24, 2009)

lol, probably Lord of the Rings long. But maybe not.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 24, 2009)

*Terminator Salvation(2009)* -Robots take over the earth, leading to action scene after another. Pretty weak, but kind of fun. Modern Warfare 2

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 26, 2009)

*Death Note: The Last Name(2006)* - Light and L clash in a battle of wits. Light wants to kill L with his death note, while L wants to prove that Light is the killer. Always interesting and director Shusuke Kaneko shows more confidense this around around, allowing more suspense to completely take over. Great sequel to a great film. gg44444

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 26, 2009)

*Heaven and Hell(1980)* -A warrior goes from heaven, to the mortal realm, to hell in a strange entry in Cheng Cheh's filmography. It's basically a nonsensical, kung fu remake of "Jigoku". 

2/4


----------



## Para (May 28, 2009)

edit - whoops, wrong thread



MartialHorror said:


> *Death Note: The Last Name(2006)* - Light and L clash in a battle of wits. Light wants to kill L with his death note, while L wants to prove that Light is the killer. Always interesting and director Shusuke Kaneko shows more confidense this around around, allowing more suspense to completely take over. Great sequel to a great film. Source
> 
> 3.5/4


I loved this too.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2009)

Cool! NOTE: FROM NOW ON I WILL TAKE REQUESTS DIRECTLY! So if you want me to review something, I'll instantly put it on my netflix list. This starts now.

*Bonnie and Clyde(1967)* - Exciting story about the legendary couple who robbed banks during the great depression. It has wit, kinetic editing and a sense of style. NO FULL REVIEW.

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 6, 2009)

*Duel to the Death(1983)* - Wuxia sword fighting flick about the best Samurai Vs the best Shaolin warrior. Of course, there is a conspiracy against them plot. Well written characters populate this intriguing film with superb fight scenes and a hefty amount of substance. Although I warn you, there is some wire fu. Punching Strength

3.5/4


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jun 8, 2009)

Creature (1985) should be here. It had Klaus Kinski in it, and some of zees butterflies were not too friendly.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 8, 2009)

That would be in the horror thread, so I won't take that as a reccomendation(I have seen it though)


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 8, 2009)

*Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers(2002)* -The fellowship split up, each doing their own thing as the battle for middle earth wages. Weak narrative and boring settings keep this from matching its predecessor. Still, it's a good movie. It is very dark and too intense for youngsters though. BBC HAS IT UP

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 13, 2009)

*Le Samourai(1967)* -French New Wave Gangster film. It's not a Samurai film, but it is about a hitman who follows the Samurai code. Artfully made, but slow. Too many scenes of people walking. The Rules

3/4


----------



## beautiful scorpio (Jun 13, 2009)

The executioner is a good martial arts movie people should check out.  Its from Japan and was made in the 70's.  Its really good, and it has some comical moments that are kinda funny.


----------



## masamune1 (Jun 14, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers(2002)* -The fellowship split up, each doing their own thing as the battle for middle earth wages. *Weak narrative and boring settings keep this from matching its predecessor.* Still, it's a good movie. It is very dark and too intense for youngsters though. ZA WARUDO!!
> 
> 3/4



Excuse me?


----------



## Dream Brother (Jun 14, 2009)

Yeah, I was a bit...taken aback at that review.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2009)

beautiful scorpio said:


> The executioner is a good martial arts movie people should check out.  Its from Japan and was made in the 70's.  Its really good, and it has some comical moments that are kinda funny.



Alright. The Sonny Chiba one?

as for "Two Towers", I don't know if it was the intent, but they seemed to go from fantasy-oriented to more realistic. the Narnia sequel did the same thing. It should be noted that my actual review states that instead of it being a review, it's more of a direct comparison to the original.

The settings aren't actually boring. They just dont match with Fellowship. It seems that most people prefer TT>Fellowship, but I don't.


----------



## Vonocourt (Jun 14, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Alright. The Sonny Chiba one?
> 
> as for "Two Towers", I don't know if it was the intent, but they seemed to go from fantasy-oriented to more realistic. the Narnia sequel did the same thing. It should be noted that my actual review states that instead of it being a review, it's more of a direct comparison to the original.
> 
> The settings aren't actually boring. They just dont match with Fellowship. It seems that most people prefer TT>Fellowship, but I don't.



Well, you are going from settings that are predominately inhabited by hobbits and elves to Rohan which is pretty much all human.

Same thing with Narnia, and jesus christ was Prince Caspian long, tried watching it last night, couldn't make it through.


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## beautiful scorpio (Jun 14, 2009)

Yeah the Sony Chiba one.


----------



## masamune1 (Jun 14, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Alright. The Sonny Chiba one?
> 
> as for "Two Towers", I don't know if it was the intent, but they seemed to go from fantasy-oriented to more realistic. the Narnia sequel did the same thing. It should be noted that my actual review states that instead of it being a review, it's more of a direct comparison to the original.
> 
> The settings aren't actually boring. They just dont match with Fellowship. It seems that most people prefer TT>Fellowship, but I don't.



_Two Towers_ is simply a deeper story, since it deals with Gollums inner struggle on the one hand and a war on the other (which is why I, and perhaps DB, was perplexed by the "weak narrative" part). 

At first I preferred _Fellowship_ (and perhaps I still do) but _Towers_ definitely got better the more I watched it,whilst _Fellowship_ got worse (eventually, and it's probably more because I watched it too much than because it was bad). If you watch it a more it will probably grow on you.

A direct comparison was'nt a good idea (im my opinion), because one is more of an adventure film while the other is more like a war story. Plus, I know you point out that it's a direct comparison but by giving it 3/4 you're giving the impression that you don't think that it's one of the best films ever made.

And you don't want me to think you're thinking that.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2009)

Vono: I'm aware and understand that the movie can't help it. But remember I saw the movies before I read the books, and usually don't like to go "Well the book did this" in my reviews. 

Masamune: I did like Gollums inner struggle. I've seen Fellowship like 5 times(I kept going back to the theaters), and saw Towers.........two or 3 times. 

The weak narrative complaint was simply that all 3 stories going one at once bugged me. When I started to get into one story, it would cut to another. It also suffers from the same problem that "Empire Strikes Back" suffered, which was that it's only purpose was to set up the next movie.

Furthermore, it has some plot holes, like how every location is right next to each other. An army of 10,000 would take awhile to reach any place, unless Helms Deep was right next door to Isengard. Maybe it was, but then I have to believe that Theodon and Saurumon were idiots because
-Sarumon shouldn't taken it over because he could've reached it easier.
- Theodon should consider that Saurmon DID take it over.

Things like that bug me, and I didn't have any notable problems with Fellowship.

lol, on its own, I dont think Towers is one of the best films ever made. But once I review all 3, I'll explain that the films work best as a trilogy. They all compliment each other nicely in terms of the story.


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## masamune1 (Jun 15, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Masamune: I did like Gollums inner struggle. I've seen Fellowship like 5 times(I kept going back to the theaters), and saw Towers.........two or 3 times.



See it again.

Oh, and watch the Extended editions. They are much better. 



> The weak narrative complaint was simply that all 3 stories going one at once bugged me. When I started to get into one story, it would cut to another. It also suffers from the same problem that "Empire Strikes Back" suffered, which was that it's only purpose was to set up the next movie.



You are talking about simulatneous narrative. That's not weak- it's just different. 

And I'm afraid you're probably one of the very few people who found fault with _Empire_ on that ground as well. I know this is just your own subjective opinion, but "weak" is not a subjective term. If you're calling it weak, you better be able to back it up.



> Furthermore, it has some plot holes, like how every location is right next to each other. An army of 10,000 would take awhile to reach any place, unless Helms Deep was right next door to Isengard. Maybe it was, but then I have to believe that Theodon and Saurumon were idiots because
> -Sarumon shouldn't taken it over because he could've reached it easier.
> - Theodon should consider that Saurmon DID take it over.
> 
> Things like that bug me, and I didn't have any notable problems with Fellowship.



Isengard is indeed close to Helm's Deep and Rohan- it used to belong to them; Saruman took it over with their blessing.

You're forgetting that Saruman was'nt always a bad guy, and was living there a the start of _Fellowship_ when Gandalf thought he was a good guy (and he went straight to Isengard becausehe knew Saruman lived there). 

While it's not directly stated on film, there are many hints (in the first film too) that they are close to each other. So it's hardly a plot hole because they let him have it. And remember- Saruman has been on Middle Earth for nearly 3,000 years (and has existed for a hell of a lot longer). Theoden was'nt even have been conceived when Saruman took over the Tower.  



> *lol, on its own, I dont think Towers is one of the best films ever made.* But once I review all 3, I'll explain that the films work best as a trilogy. They all compliment each other nicely in terms of the story.



So, you would'nt give it 4/4 even if you reviewed it not as a comparison to _Fellowship?_

(grabs sword and prepares to hunt MH down).


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 15, 2009)

1) I consider it "weak" because them seperating caused me to care less about them. It should've did what the novel did and basically cut it in half.

As for Empire, I actually think it's the best of the old trilogy, but that's only because the directing/writing was better. Once again, it only exists as a bridge between the first and 3rd film, which I dont care for.

2) Ah, but then what of my other suggestions? If Theoden knows Saurumon was now evil, wouldn't he presume that Saurumon would try to take over Helms Deep before he got there? Furthermore, why DIDNT Saurumon try to take it over?

3) I'm not sure. I can't seem to be objective enough about it. I prefer adventure films to war films I suppose, and prefer the small scale battles compared to the epic battles of the sequels. 

On it's own, I'd consider rating it higher. But I think it works best as simply part of the trilogy.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 16, 2009)

To clarify, I don't mind that type of narrative. I love "Pirates 2". My issue is that everyone gets less screentime and their development simply doesn't work as well.

I loved the actual Fellowship because they were all interesting and sympathetic, from Pippin to Borimir. While TT had Gollum, characters like Eomer, Eowyn, Theoden, etc felt like typical characters we see in every fantasy film. Part of this is because no one has a lot of screen time, like Grima, who NEEDED a bigger role. But in the first film, watching all these characters we love TOGETHER causes the development to feel more natural. 

The only characters I cared for development wise in TT was Frodo and Gollum. While I cared for the rest of the cast enough, nothing about them stood out. 

Btw, Predator will be tomorrow's review....in other thread of course.


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## masamune1 (Jun 16, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> 1) I consider it "weak" because them seperating caused me to care less about them. It should've did what the novel did and basically cut it in half.
> 
> As for Empire, I actually think it's the best of the old trilogy, but that's only because the directing/writing was better. Once again, it only exists as a bridge between the first and 3rd film, which I dont care for.



Well, then it is just your opinion. For myself, I never started caring less about the characters or narrative in either film when they were separated. I don't think the book is any better or worse for being cut in two either- the film is just...different.



> 2) Ah, but then what of my other suggestions? If Theoden knows Saurumon was now evil, wouldn't he presume that Saurumon would try to take over Helms Deep before he got there? Furthermore, why DIDNT Saurumon try to take it over?



You're missing the point (and spelling his name wrong). Saruman was'nt interested in Helm's Deep- he was interested in butchering the Rohirrim. 

Helm's Deep is just a stronghold from which Theoden sought to defend his people, reasoning that the capital was too vulnerable to attack. He went to Helm's Deep for tactical reasons- the place itself has no value to Saruman, so he had no reason to take it over. 

If you mean why did'nt Saruman go there so that when they arrived they would find an army of Uruk-hai waiting to kill them all, well there are several reasons. Firstly, Helm's Deep is closer to Theoden than to Saruman. Secondly, Saruman only learnt that Theoden would go there from Wormtongue _after_ Theoden left for it. And thirdly, as Gandalf pointed out the Rohirrim won't be able to escape from Helm's Deep, so Saruman was'nt in much of a rush. He was making a 10,000 strong force anyway, so why not wait till it's finished?

Plus, Theoden was being controlled by Saruman for at least many months. Neither really saw much urgency in getting to Helm's Deep until that time.   



> 3) I'm not sure. I can't seem to be objective enough about it. I prefer adventure films to war films I suppose, and prefer the small scale battles compared to the epic battles of the sequels.
> 
> On it's own, I'd consider rating it higher. But I think it works best as simply part of the trilogy.



Well again, to each their own. But for me, either on it's own or as part of the trilogy I think it deserves 4/4.



> To clarify, I don't mind that type of narrative. I love "Pirates 2". My issue is that everyone gets less screentime and their development simply doesn't work as well.
> 
> I loved the actual Fellowship because they were all interesting and sympathetic, from Pippin to Borimir. While TT had Gollum, characters like Eomer, Eowyn, Theoden, etc felt like typical characters we see in every fantasy film. Part of this is because no one has a lot of screen time, like Grima, who NEEDED a bigger role. But in the first film, watching all these characters we love TOGETHER causes the development to feel more natural.
> 
> The only characters I cared for development wise in TT was Frodo and Gollum. While I cared for the rest of the cast enough, nothing about them stood out.



Don't fully agree with that. For one, I can't think of a single fantasy film before that that was like it enough to call them "typical characters we see in every fantasy film", and I don't see what would make the main characters different from "typical" either.

The others just were'nt important enough to merit more screen time, not least because they had to share with the main cast. I don't remember them- Grima included- getting much more development in the novel either. It might have been nice to get more but come on- the film is nearly three hours long, and like I said there are other characters who are more important.

And I'd say the reason Frodo and Gollum stand out is because of their characters and situations, which more screen time would'nt change. Most of the rest are grown men and women and/ or in much safer and more stable places. 

Frodo and Gollum are both more childlike and innocent than most and much more vulnerable in terms of where they are and what's going on around them. The reason their character dvelopment is better is because of the amount of potential for it to happen. Which is Tolkein's "fault" for shaping the story like that.  



> Btw, Predator will be tomorrow's review....in other thread of course.



About damn time!


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## MartialHorror (Jun 16, 2009)

1) Yeah, I know I keep getting the name wrong. I had to refer to imdb when I reviewed it. Anyway, you're right. His interest was in destroying the people of Rohan. But why let them get into the one place they can hold out until help arrives? It would be quicker and more efficient, as an army of 10,000 orcs<2,000 Rohan Warriors(or was it 3,000? I don't remember).

"Return of the King" shows that there are more warriors of Rohan, so if he had a brain, he would want to pick them apart quickly.

2)

-Eomer: One dimensional loyal warrior
- Eowyn: The chick who wants to be a fighter
- Theadon: The good intentioned but often antagonistic King who makes sure his daughter keeps away from the action. 
- Faramir: He's actually more interesting here than in the book. Can't really say anything bad about him really.

To be fair, it's possible that these tropes began with Tolkien for all I know. But by the time the movie was made, there is very little originality about them. In the case of the fellowship, we have 

- The Hobbits: Granted, merry/pippin are hard to tell apart in the movie, but they're always amusing. 

- Aragorn: Takes the Clint Eastwood rule by being a hero who acts like the villain. He has inner conflict and is very cool thanks to his attire, skills and class. Doesn't hurt that the actor nails the role.

- Gandolf: Instead of acting like the grim wizard that the book/animated movie presented, here he has a charming personality.

- Borimir: I hated him in the book. In the movie, they stress his motives more and you feel sorry for him. You expect him to turn out evil(remember I saw the movie before reading the book), but his redemption is one of the most effective scenes in the whole trilogy.

- Gimli and Legolas: Really, there is nothing interesting about the characters. One is more comical while the other is simply badass. But their development is also interesting. 

Most of the characters in "Towers" don't develop at all. Aragon's conflict is chosing between Arwen and Eowyn. He doesn't make up his mind either, so his conflict was pointless. Gimli and Legolas don't really develop either. Their development was concluded in the previous movie. 

Sam is a static character and Merry/Pippin have SOME development, but they don't really do anything that we wouldn't expect them too. They showed their courage in the previous movie, so they don't really grow. Gandalf at this point is Super Gandolf, and we can't dance in joy at his return too much because he's gone for most of the movie. 

Treebeard's development is rushed. Theoden has his moments. Eomer and Eowyn are static characters as well. We do have Faramir, who clearly develops, but many fans were annoyed at this actually(I wasn't).

Now, many of these characters do finally grow in ROTK, but that's a movie away. This, to me, is why I don't hold "Towers" in the same regard as you. To be fair, this is mostly how the book was written. Some movies simply don't adapt as well as others. The previous Harry Potter movie proved this.


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## masamune1 (Jun 17, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> 1) Yeah, I know I keep getting the name wrong. I had to refer to imdb when I reviewed it. Anyway, you're right. His interest was in destroying the people of Rohan. But why let them get into the one place they can hold out until help arrives? It would be quicker and more efficient, as an army of 10,000 orcs<2,000 Rohan Warriors(or was it 3,000? I don't remember).
> 
> "Return of the King" shows that there are more warriors of Rohan, so if he had a brain, he would want to pick them apart quickly.



The army of 10,000 Uruk-hai nearly killed everyone in Helm's Deep. You make it sound like Saruman predicted that they would be beaten- he genuinelly thought they were going to win. 

Saruman does'nt think help will be coming, that if help _is_ coming it will be too late, and whatever help comes will be crushed as surely as the Rohirrim. He was nearly right. 

If he knows they are all going to one place, then from Saruman's point of view (and Gandalfs, don't forget)  they are doomed, because Helm's Deep does'nt have a viable exit. And he _was_ killing them quickly- from Edora's to the Battle of Helm's Deep was a span of only 5 days. And again, he very nearly killed them all. 

He probably did'nt have the time to kill them all on their way to Helm's Deep; as I said, his plan was to control Theoden and by the time Grima showed up and fully appraised them of the new situation the Rohirrim had already left. He did terrorise them along the way, but the fact is he probably just was'nt able to get an army together in time big enough to guarantee a slaughter before they got to their destination.




> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think you are really expecting too much of this movie, esp. since it's an adaptation an most of the story was written out for them. And it's three hours long and already has a helll of a lot of stuff in it.

Legolas and Gimli do develop- in the first film they did'nt like each other, but it's in this film that they have become firm friends. Sam "develops"- we see his nastier and somewhat prejudiced side with regards to Gollum, as opposed to Frodo's more sympathetic approach. He's certainly not static. 

I don't think Treebeard develops at all, nor do I really think he needed to. Not every secondary character needs to develop, esp. if they are already fairly mature. I don't expect much of Eomer because, frankly, he isn't that important, and Eowyn gets developed enough in this and the next film. I don't agree with what you said about Aragon- I don't think he's meant to be all that villainous. 

Honestly, it just seems like you like the main cast better than the secondary cast, and are complaining that they on the whole are'nt as good. But they _are_ secondary characters, and even then some of them get a reasonable amount of development in this and the next (I don't think it matters much in which). 

I think you are just expecting too much of this film, which is a shame because it already offers so, so much anyway, and most of your complaints stem from the book an the original story.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 17, 2009)

1) I refer to the Riders who arrived near the end. Why would Sarumon just presume they won't be there in time? Wouldn't that eye thing tell him where they were? Furthermore, even if Helms Deep was destroyed, what would he do with the uruks? They had difficulty killing that army, and would be destroyed by the 2,000 Riders that Eomer is bringing. Then what would they do? They'd go after Sarumon, whose defenses are low and for some reason, his wizard skills seem to be absent(I don't remember them ever explaining why Sarumon never uses his powers against the ents). But even if he did use his powers, they would have Gandalf, who was superior to him at the time. So Sarumon's plan has too many holes.

-Your last point about Grima telling him after they had already left actually does make sense. But this is once again, where I found the narrative to be faulty. It isn't often made clear how much time has passed.

Er, what's Edora again? I don't remember a lot of the locations. But 5 days? I was under the impression that it was less. 

2) 
-Gimli and Legolas became friends at the end of the first movie. They simply get more time to show it in the 2nd(and 3rd) movie.

- Showing your nastier side isn't development. Development is when the character grows. Sam was always loyal. We simply get to see the extent of his loyalty in the other movies(which is fine, I don't expect every character to develop)/

-Treebeard's development was when he finally realized Sarumon must be stopped, and he accepts that he must bear the responsibility that everyone else in middle earth does. While I complained about his rushed development in my last post, it's not something that really bugs me, as anything else would've killed the pacing. I'm simply exploiting him for the sake of this argument.

- You misunderstood me. I didn't say Aragorn was villainous. I refered to Eastwood's  acting approach in that he plays his hero like most actors would play a villain: Dark, brooding, mysterious, etc. Viggo plays Aragorn like that. When I first saw the first movie, I even thought he was going to be a villain. I shouldn't have, because it was too obvious, but I did.  

I'm not denying that that's a main reason why I was disappointed in the movie. That's even most of the reason why I wrote a comparison to the first film instead of a normal review. In truth, I'm probably wrong. Most of my complaints don't bother most people, so it's for subjective reasons that I complain. Since most people prefer the 2nd, then it's probably better. I simply disagree.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 23, 2009)

*The Outlaw Josey Wales(1976)* -Josey Wales joins the confederacy during the civil war in response to his family being slain by the Union. When his side surrenders, Josey refuses to do so, becoming an outlaw. Well done film with a strong message and swift pacing(even though it's pretty long). Clint Eastwood gives one of his better performances, which says alot. NOT A FULL REVIEW

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2009)

*Against the Dark(2009)* - Steven Seagal plays a hunter who hunts down vampire-like creatures after they've taken over the world in this "I am Legend" rip-off. Except there is a twist,  he isn't actually the main character. Lame B movie that is so poorly lit, you can't see what's going on. Collective Soul


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## MartialHorror (Jun 27, 2009)

*Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen(2009)* - The transformers are back to fight in some nonsensical plot. I found it to be entertaining, although I'm a bit baffled at my own response to it. this

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2009)

*JCVD(2008)* - former superstar jean claude van damme struggles with life, and a bank robbery. Great drama, albeit not an action movie. Great acting all the same by JCVD himself. here

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 5, 2009)

*Public Enemies(2009)* - Agent Perkins tries to apprehend the infamous bank robber John Dillinger. It's a well made movie, with great acting by the always entertaining Johnny Depp. But Christian Bale's character feels boring in comparison(although Bale does his best to make him interesting). It should have focused on one side instead of doing what "American Gangster" did by trying to focus on both. Furthermore, the film feels kind of padded. My rating doesn't really represent what the film is(it deserves a 3/4), but my disappointment at what it could've been. NOT A FULL REVIEW.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 7, 2009)

*Kelly's Heroes(1970)* - Clint Eastwood and Telly Savalas lead a bunch of AWOL troopers in WW2 behind enemy lines so they can rob a bank(where gold is stored). The film benefits from Brian Hutton's superb directing, showcasing some spectacular action sequences and creative angles. But Clint Eastwood looks bored and I had problems with the morality of the movie. In Sergio Leone's "The Good, the bad and the ugly" there is a nice little commentary on war when a bunch of troops are fighting and dying over a bridge. The point was that while the characters may kill in the name of greed, it is nothing compared to the lives taken under false pretense. In "Kelly's Heroes", many lives are taken under the blunt desire for gold. So it's okay to kill many people in the name of a greed? Aren't they committing war crimes? Anyway, I couldn't get past this, taking away what could've been a 3/4 star movie. NOT A FULL REVIEW!

2.5/4


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## Podman (Jul 7, 2009)

The Sunny Chiba trilogy about the life of Mas Oyama, is pretty good, but I can't remember the names for the individual movies. Also I enjoyed the movie Live Hard. Just Saw that these two weren't yet mentioned.

 Also, Shame on you MartialHorror for recommending Dragon:The Bruce Lee Story to anybody. That move was pure unfilterated shit. It was an insult to Bruce Lee.

 The best Bruce Lee movies are Return of the Dragon and The Big Boss.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 7, 2009)

I did review Karate for Life(which is one of the Mas Oyama movies)....er, link might be Godzilla vs Megaguirus

The other 2 aren't on netflix......

Edit: Are you speaking of the Die Hard movie? Dont know of any "Live Hard" film...


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## Podman (Jul 7, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> I did review Karate for Life(which is one of the Mas Oyama movies)....er, link might be Godzilla vs Megaguirus
> 
> The other 2 aren't on netflix......
> 
> Edit: Are you speaking of the Die Hard movie? Dont know of any "Live Hard" film...



 Live Hard was a Hong Kong action movie about these people who kill a politician's son.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2009)

*Police Story 2(1988)* -Jackie Chan returns as the supercop who has been assigned to track down a blackmailing serial bomber. While less memorable than the first, in many ways it's actually an improvement. The drama and comedy feel less over-the-top and work much better this time around. Link

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2009)

*Duck You Sucker(1971)* - Sergio's final western about a bandit and an ex-revolutionary trying to rob a bank in the midst of a revolution. Filled with Leone's grand visual style, an epic scope, classic Morricone music and characters that actually grow. Easily his most underappreciated work. Aoi Hana Episode 2 sub

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2009)

*Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince(2009)* - Harry must find out a Professors secret that may reveal Lord Voldemorte's weakness. At the absolute least, it is superior to the previous installment. Yates has redeemed himself as a director. Incorrect.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 21, 2009)

*Zatoichi's Cane Sword(1967)* - Blind swordsman Ichi discovers that his sword is one kill away from breaking, and he takes this as a sign that it's time to retire. He does so, working at an inn, but when the inn becomes involved in a dangerous conspiracy, he must decide whether he should do anything about it. Solid entry in the long running series, with some well written characters and a good moral struggle with Ichi. But with the exception of the final battle, there isn't much action. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2009)

*Terminator 2: Judgment Day(1991)* - Another Terminator is sent back to kill young John Connor. Another unit of the same model of the Terminator from the first movie is sent back to protect him. Deeper than the first film, but less excited. Still, it's an example of a summer blockbuster gone right. Real Life

3.5/4

(ugh, not a big fan of either review).


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2009)

*Drunken Monkey(2002)* - The old dude(and director) from "Drunken Master 2" directs and co-stars in this fairly recent Shaw Brothers production about a master who's betrayed by his brother and who reluctantly takes 2 students under his wing. The fight scenes are good, but not Jackie Chan or Jet Li good. The plot is typical and it feels kind of rushed. A watchable, if not enjoyable kung fu film. But it is a rip off of "Drunken Master 2". Winner Takes All

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2009)

*G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra(2009) *- A group of counter terrorists must take on an advanced enemy. Feels like a bunch of other actioners spliced into one. I can take that, but why are the special effects so uneven? Borderlands

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2009)

*Tunnel Rats(2008)* - Uwe Boll's latest film is a non-video game war-horror film about vietnam vets who are assigned to be 'tunnel rats', travelling miles underground to make sure the enemy isn't hiding. It's a crappy job, and Boll does a good job at showing this. Effective, but flawed, as Uwe Boll often seems to think he's Oliver Stone. Geee

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2009)

*The One-Armed Swordsman(1967)* - In 1967, this wuxia swordplay film about a warrior who must learn to live(and fight) with one arm, conquered Hong Kong box office records and redefined fight scenes. It has some heavy dating issues(too contrived), but it works anyway. I warn you, compare it more to the samurai films of the time than the works of Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan/Jet Li. Otherwise, you'll be disappointed. Jimmy Wang Yu is a pretty damn good actor though. Dogs Attract Fleas

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 15, 2009)

*District 9(2009)* - Imagine "The Day the Earth Stood Still", "The Fugitive" and "District B-13" as one mess of a movie. It tries, but collapses on its own weight. Aliens are forced to live in slums..what happens when a human has to live there?  

2.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 17, 2009)

In retrospect, maybe District 9 wasn't that great--but it wasn't that bad, either.


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## Magnum Miracles (Aug 17, 2009)

MartialHorror ,have you seen Blade or Sin City?They're both incredibly good movie with a lot of awesome action scenes.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 18, 2009)

And yes and yes. Love "Sin City". Blade....not so much. That's been requested, so expect a review of it one day....not "Sin City" though(so feel free to if you want)
*
The Inglorious Bastards(1978)* - A bunch of American Soldiers who are being sent to a USA military prison for various reasons manage to escape and have plenty of adventures as they try to get to neutral territory. Very entertaining, but dumb, action flick. Don't see anything similar other than the recycled title in Tarantino's remake. But we'll see. joshhookway


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2009)

*Driven to Kill(2009)* - Steven Seagal stars as Ruslan, a retired Russian gangster who has a magical, vanishing accent. He must team up with the son of an old rival, who also happens to be the fiance of his daughter, to find the guys who killed his ex-wife and critically injured his daughter. Vastly superior to his last few efforts......Probably his most passable work since "Pistol Whipped", but it's still pretty generic. Good acting though(not so much by Seagal, however). here

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 22, 2009)

*Inglourious Basterds(2009)* - Various people try to assassinate Hitler at a movie premiere. Another Tarantino winner with superb photography, memorable dialogue and larger than life characters. In a sense, it's as if Leone was resurrected from the dead and had Tarantino's baby. That baby would direct this picture......which is kind of gross now that I think about it....one

3.5/4


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## masamune1 (Aug 24, 2009)

> Mike Myers has a cameo. Myers is kind of distracting because he acts as if he's in a comedy.



Is he so wrong?


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## excellence153 (Aug 24, 2009)

Ever heard of the Invincible Super Chan?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 24, 2009)

masamune1 said:


> Is he so wrong?



Yes. No one acts like they are doing a slapstick comedy. They just happen to be funny. Myers acts like he's playing a role in a new Austin Powers movie.

Excellence: Nope. Never even heard of it. Any good?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2009)

*The Killer Meteors(1974)* - Jimmy Wang Yu plays the titular hero, who is asked by Jackie Chan(in an unusual role) to kill Chan's wife for trying to kill him. This was before Chan became huge, and after Wang Yu's career began falling, and the movie shows. It's dull, but overwritten and confusing. Still, not the worst of its type. here

1.5/4

(I am proud of this review)


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2009)

*Gamer(2009)* - Gerard Buttler ruins his career with this big, loud, shitstorm of a movie about how in the future, death row inmates participate in a murderous game. Think "Death Race" except not as entertaining. Horrible script+ even worse direction= Worst theatrical film I've ever seen, and I've seen "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li". 
Source

ZERO/4


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## tinlunlau (Sep 5, 2009)

Ip Man (UK trailer)


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## Shoddragon (Sep 5, 2009)

. a 0/4? holy shit. I cannot believe its worse than Dragonball Evolution or the legend of chun li.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2009)

When will IP man be out?

and Gamer was just that unpleasant to sit through.


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## Deleted member 84471 (Sep 5, 2009)

Have you seen 'The Perfect Weapon' with Jeff Speakman (practitioner of American Kempo)?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2009)

Nope. Never even heard of it.


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## tinlunlau (Sep 6, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> When will IP man be out?
> 
> and Gamer was just that unpleasant to sit through.




I heard IP MAN is coming out in October for the UK.
No word on an American release but I don't give a damn anyway.  I have it on blu-ray.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 6, 2009)

*Blade(1998)* - Wesley Snipes plays Blade, a half human/vampire who slays other vampires in present day L.A. Filled with lots of imagination and attitude, nothing about "Blade" feels out of place. Add to that subtle development, slick fight scenes and great cast and characters, you have a good movie. Not great because the plot is thin and it feels like a buildup to "Blade 2", which is my next review. peacing out

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2009)

*Blade 2(2002)* - Blade returns to temperarily ally with the vampires to fight off a new movie. What it lacks in narrative and character development, it makes up with slick action sequences, lots of splatter and most of all, Guillermo del Toro's extreme sense of stylish macabre. Followed by the lame "Blade 3: Trinity". 

3/4


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## Vault (Sep 15, 2009)

I came to this thread looking for proper old school kung fu movies and i havent found that many.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 15, 2009)

Yeah, it's something I intend to change.


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## Vault (Sep 15, 2009)

Change to martial arts reviews OR not do it at all


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## MartialHorror (Sep 15, 2009)

What's the difference between martial arts reviews and martial arts movie reviews?

Do you have any notable requests about which kung fu movies you want me to review? (I mean titles, not just 'some old school kung fu' movies).


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## Vault (Sep 15, 2009)

Well the thing is i have watched alot of old school kung fu movies and i just want to find out movies like that you might recommend. Im a huge fan also hearing what others think helps


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 15, 2009)

Hey Martial, have you seen "Blood and Bone" yet? I'm going to probably be watching that one soon.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 15, 2009)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Hey Martial, have you seen "Blood and Bone" yet? I'm going to probably be watching that one soon.



Which one? The Takashi Kitano or the Michael Jay White movie?

And as I said, I intend to do more kung fu(and samurai) flicks. I think I shall have one called "36th chambers of shaolin" or something soon......


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Sep 15, 2009)

The Michael Gay White one. I'm only going to watch it because it has Bob Sapp.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 15, 2009)

Tell me if its good. Anyway, if you guys haven't noticed, my review of "Killer Meteors" has been down thanks to a mistake by me(and/or freewebs). it's back up, but the white background looks......strange. Anyway, here is my mini-review with the link to the full review. 



MartialHorror said:


> *The Killer Meteors(1974)* - Jimmy Wang Yu plays the titular hero, who is asked by Jackie Chan(in an unusual role) to kill Chan's wife for trying to kill him. This was before Chan became huge, and after Wang Yu's career began falling, and the movie shows. It's dull, but overwritten and confusing. Still, not the worst of its type. Here.
> 
> 1.5/4
> 
> (I am proud of this review)


----------



## Vonocourt (Sep 15, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> ...Anyway, if you guys haven't noticed,...



Oh Martial, I'm sure everyone noticed.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 15, 2009)

Vonocourt said:


> Oh Martial, I'm sure everyone noticed.



THEY BEST HAVE! I EXPECT EVERY REVIEW READ AND COMPLETELY ANALYZED!


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Sep 16, 2009)

That's what I do. 


Anyway, I watched Blood and Bone last night and it was OKAY. It has virtually no story and no acting and no anything, but the fights were semi-decent.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2009)

So I should avoid it?


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Sep 16, 2009)

I don't know if you should avoid it, but you should definitely not rate it above 5.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 29, 2009)

*The 36th Chamber of Shaolin(1978)* - A man joins the Shaolin temple to learn martial arts after his family/friends are killed for assisting a rebellion. He must pass the 35 chambers(tests) to become a great martial artist, and then sets out to invent the 36th while avenging his friends. The film is often hailed as a classic for its themes, but the themes almost feel tacked on and unexplored. While it is one big training montage, the fight scenes are superb and diverse. IT's worth seeing for fans. link

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 11, 2009)

*The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*- Frodo and Sam seek to destroy the ring of power once and for all, while everyone else tries to repel the dark lords forces. Overlong, with a few weak plot devices(the ghost army/eagles), but it still packs an emotional and visual whallup. Easily 'the largest' of the trilogy, but not necessarily the best. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2009)

*Attack Force(2006)* - A Steven Seagal actioner with some elements of horror. It's actually not bad, just very generic. Here is the video review

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfyQsgjWpAA[/YOUTUBE]

You get to see me AS A WOMAN!


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 8, 2009)

*Sword of the Beast(1965)* - Director Hideo Gosha did this samurai epic to tell a wonderful story about complex characters who realize that the code they serve sucks balls. The hero, Gennosuke, is a Ronin on the run from his former samurai friends. He tries to pan for some gold, but another Ronin intends on getting the gold first. Superb samurai epic with solid fights and great characterizations. A must see for fans. Fucking Isis.

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2009)

*The Magnificent Butcher(1978)* - Sammo Hung stars as Butcher Wing, a clusmy student of the legendary Wong Fei Hung, who is caught up in a murder conspiracy with a rival school. It's up to a drunken beggar(supposed to be the guy from Jackie Chan's "Drunken Master" movies) to train and save him. The film has superb kung fu, superb drama, superb comedy and is an all around great genre movie. Sammo Hung does a great job as the lead. Better than most of what Jackie Chan produced at the time(but didnt make that much money). 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 18, 2009)

*Breaker! Breaker! (1978)* - Chuck Norris makes his starring debut as a big rig trucker who goes on a quest to search for his brother, who has either been kidnapped or killed by officials of a corrupt town. People tend to hate this, although I kind of liked it. It is a bad movie, I guess, but at least it's never boring. For me, that's all I ask. Norris is a barely passable actor, but can kick that ass. The Magnificent Butcher

2/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Nov 18, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Sword of the Beast(1965)* - Director Hideo Gosha did this samurai epic to tell a wonderful story about complex characters who realize that the code they serve sucks balls. The hero, Gennosuke, is a Ronin on the run from his former samurai friends. He tries to pan for some gold, but another Ronin intends on getting the gold first. Superb samurai epic with solid fights and great characterizations. A must see for fans. The Magnificent Butcher
> 
> 3.5/4


Must watch as I am a fan of old(er) samurai movies. It better not disappoint. 



MartialHorror said:


> *The Magnificent Butcher(1978)* - Sammo Hung stars as Butcher Wing, a clusmy student of the legendary Wong Fei Hung, who is caught up in a murder conspiracy with a rival school. It's up to a drunken beggar(supposed to be the guy from Jackie Chan's "Drunken Master" movies) to train and save him. The film has superb kung fu, superb drama, superb comedy and is an all around great genre movie. Sammo Hung does a great job as the lead. Better than most of what Jackie Chan produced at the time(but didnt make that much money). The Magnificent Butcher
> 
> 3.5/4


 Another one I'll have to see since I love Sammo Hung and older Kung-fu movies. 

You're on a roll, MartialHorror.


----------



## Gabe (Nov 18, 2009)

way of the dragon is a good movie


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 19, 2009)

Yes, Way of the Dragon is a good movie. Imo, it's Bruce Lee's 2nd best...

My next martial arts review will probably be a Zatoichi film.


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 27, 2009)

*Ninja Assassin(2009)* - Korean pop star Rain stars as a ninja who is intent on tracking down and killing his former clan members, headed by Sho Kosugi(he's back!). Weak structure and a weak script, but it's about as stylized and badass as you'd expect. The biggest shocker is how gory it is. I hope this is a success because we need more martial arts movies......Good breakthrough role for Rain, who does very good with a part that could've easily backfired.Link removed

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 29, 2009)

*Legendary Weapons of China(1982)* - Three assassins hunt down a traitor, who has mastered the 18 legendary weapons of China. The plot moves at a fast paced with lots of kung fu fighting. It does almost everything right: Cool characters, funny comedy, different kinds of fighting and decent twists. Hell, you don't even know who the heroes/villains are for a while. It is a bit confusing though. Link removed

3.5/4


----------



## Fan o Flight (Nov 29, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*- Frodo and Sam seek to destroy the ring of power once and for all, while everyone else tries to repel the dark lords forces. Overlong, with a few weak plot devices(the ghost army/eagles), but it still packs an emotional and visual whallup. Easily 'the largest' of the trilogy, but not necessarily the best. Link removed
> 
> 3/4



I think its a good must see but if you want to ses it twice most people will most likely skip the hobbit scenes which Im guilty of


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 1, 2009)

lol, yeah.

*The Killer Meteors(1976)*- Jimmy Yang Yu must kill Jackie Chan's wife, who plans on killing Jackie Chan. Early Jackie Chan movie that has him against typecast(won't spoil it here). It has some good fight scenes, especially the ones with Jackie, but it is a Jimmy Wang Yu vehicle...Jimmy wasn't a real life martial artist, so the non-Jackie fight scenes are just average.But what kills the film is the confusing, convoluted plot...Not the worst of its type, but not the best either. Lo Wei really did fall after his breakup with Bruce Lee. 

(Note: I reviewed this before, but I could never get the review up. I just moved it to another page. It is probably my most unique review).

1.5/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Dec 1, 2009)

Does it have anything to do with meteors?


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 1, 2009)

It's the name of the dudes weapon(I think the dude calls himself the Killer Meteor too, been awhile since I've seen it).

In the end, the effect of a meteor is used.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 8, 2009)

*Devilman(2004)* - Based on the manga, a boy becomes part demon and vows to destroy all the demons in the world. While pretty faithful to the source material, they try to fit too much into one movie and things get oddly convoluted. It also doesn't help that the acting sucks, and the directing isn't any better. Still, it's harmless enough. link

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 13, 2009)

*Zatoichi: On the Road(1963)* -The blind swordsman, Ichi, agrees to escort a young woman home, but ends up falling in love with her. Of course, this means she will be targeted and used as leverage by Ichi's enemies, who want Ichi to help them in their battle. It's ALMOST a great movie, with a gripping love story, interesting intrique, and solid fight scenes(a fair amount of them too). Battles aren't just sword fights, but intelects are used as well. What keeps it from being great is it fails to properly develop or resolve some of its subplots, and as always, it looks so much like the others. Still a fine film though. One of the better entries, even. Air Jordan online store 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 19, 2009)

*Avatar(2009)* - A human must learn the ways of an alien race for diplomatic/spying purposes. Great visuals, weak story. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire Assistant 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 21, 2009)

*Shinobi no Mono(1963)* - Commonly known as "Ninja" or "The Ninjas", this film follows a skilled ninja who is caught up in a conspiracy within his own clan while attempting to assassinate the legendary Lord known as Oda Nobunaga. Wonderfully shot and acted, with some great twists, turns and characters. "Shinobi no Mono" is one of the few films you'll find that tries to be fairly historically accurate when it comes to ninja(did you know that they were basically farmers?). It's basically a samurai film, with ninja. It does often falter in terms of pacing(how many off-screen sex scenes do you need?), and it is very confusing, but it is still a good film. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire Assistant 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 26, 2009)

*Sherlock Holmes(2009)* - Robert Downy Jr and Jude Law star as the famous detective duo, Holmes and Watson, sent to track down a criminal who appears to have been raised from the dead. Predictable, but fast paced. Convoluted, but funny. In other words, great fun, but not great. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire Assistant 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2009)

*The Master(1980)* - A master challenges three warriors known as the three devils(known for murdering and raping), and nearly wins but is betrayed and stabbed. He escapes, only to be rescued by a struggling kung fu student. The two bond and the master decides to train the young lad. However, now they must contend with the students real master, who is not happy that someone else is training him, as well as the three devils themselves. Standard kung fu flick that despite being a Shaw Brothers film, it blatantly rips off the works of Jackie Chan.....Watching this made me appreciate Jackie much more. Still, it's harmless stuff. Gamer

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 3, 2010)

*Blood: The Last Vampire(2009)* - Saya, a human/vampire hybrid hunts down other vampires that feed around a U.S Military base in Japan. It starts off on the right foot as a faithful anime adaptation with some kick-ass action, gore, and a character arc. It them becomes a mess of epic proportions......Still, it retains its style and gore....so I kind of dig it......even though the raping of the source material still irks me. Link removed

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2010)

*Command Performance(2009)* - Dolph Lundgren(the villain from "Rocky 4") stars as a drummer in a rock band who is in the middle of a concert when terrorists take over, intent on capturing the Russian President(the movie takes place in Russia and the President is watching the concert). It's pretty violent and has a good enough pace, but it doesn't know if it wants to be taken seriously as a "Die Hard" rip-off or if it wants to be silly. Lamest line in the movie: "Dying is easy, but Rock N Roll is hard". Link removed

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 16, 2010)

*The Book of Eli(2010)* - Eli, a super badass in a post apocalyptic world, travels west with the last copy of the King James Bible.....which people want for their own reason. It's not an action film, a sci-fi or a drama, although it borrows elements from all of them. I hate when movies do that. Still...... I admire its craft, and Denzel Washington is great. 'Will They Or Won't They'

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2010)

*The Tournament(2009)* - a Battle Royale-esque story about the worlds greatest assassins(including Ving Rhames and Kelly Hu) fighting in an all out tournament within a town. It's an awesome actionfest with great gore, great gun fights, great car chases, great hand-to-hand fights and great style. Not to mention the cool characters. It doesn't have an original bone in its body, but I so don't care right now. THIS IS HOW ACTION FILMS SHOULD BE DONE! 'Will They Or Won't They'

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 21, 2010)

*Project A(1983)* - Jackie Chan is in the navy, having to fight pirates along with a policeman(Yuen Biao) and a crook(Sammo Hung). Amazing fights, amazing stunts and most of all: They are non-stop. Easily Chan's best film(or at least probably his best film), not harmed by annoying humor that plagues most of his Hong Kong films. 'Will They Or Won't They'

3.5/4


----------



## Rukia (Jan 21, 2010)

What did you think of Legion, Martial?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2010)

I won't see it till tomorrow, and probably wont get to the review until Saturday.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 23, 2010)

*Legion(2010)* - Archangel Michael defends humanity when God decides to wipe us out. Absurd storyline with many holes and flaws, but it has some great casting, well-written characters and Paul Bettany and Kevin Durand are awesome as Michael and Gabriel, leading to a kickass fight between them. Uneven, but okay. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Jan 23, 2010)

The Storm Warriors is coming to bluray and DVD on Feb 9th.  It's the long awaited (and disappointing) sequel to "The Storm Riders" for those who don't know.  Just a heads up.

The only good thing about this movie is the CG eye candy, Ekin & Aarok reprising their roles and Kenny Ho as Nameless.  The lack of dialogue and the dragged out training montage was just torturous.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 23, 2010)

lol, really? 

I kind of liked the first one.......wasn't great, but I remember having fun with it. Didnt even realize there was a sequel. I'll have to watch it sometime.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2010)

*A Touch of Zen(1969)* - A scholar gets involved in a conspiracy with a woman who he fancies. Technically, it is probably the best Hong Kong movie ever made, with advanced, lush cinematography, lots of atmosphere and well-written characters. However, an unnecessary slow pace and an ending that feels like it belongs in a different film drag it down. Still good though. link

3/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 13, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, really?
> 
> I kind of liked the first one.......wasn't great, but I remember having fun with it. Didnt even realize there was a sequel. I'll have to watch it sometime.



Well, the Hong Kong DVD/Blu-ray release is out now so you can get it anytime.
But overall viewer reaction have been pretty negative.  As much as the Pang Brothers are experienced with filming big CG movies, they really suck at storytelling.  (Yes, I even hated "The Eye")


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 13, 2010)

Strangely, the only movie of theirs I flat out liked was the American remake of Bangkok Dangerous.

I havent seen a lot of their stuff though. Messengers was forgettable, The Eye was occasionally creepy but mostly bored me, the original Bangkok Dangerous was annoying.....


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 14, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Strangely, the only movie of theirs I flat out liked was the American remake of Bangkok Dangerous.
> 
> I havent seen a lot of their stuff though. Messengers was forgettable, The Eye was occasionally creepy but mostly bored me, the original Bangkok Dangerous was annoying.....



A friend of mine actually worked with one of the Pang Brothers.  Not sure which one but she was one of the leading actresses in "In Love with the Dead".  And "Re-Cycle" was a pretty decent movie by the Pang Brothers.  Just wished there was a bluray release of that cuz that woulda been a great movie to watch in HD using the same green-screen visual effects of "300" and "The Storm Warriors".

And also, "Bodyguards and Assassins" is out on bluray and dvd.  You might wanna check that out as well.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2010)

I just might.

*Ong Bak 2(2008)* - IT'S FINALLY AMONG US! Tony Jaa plays the lead in a film that takes place in 1400's Thailand....I guess. He survives a family massacre, joins a group of thieves and decides to get revenge.....Plotless with no characterization whatsoever, especially by Jaa as the lead. But the film looks great and the fight scenes are some of the best ever filmed......In fact, maybe even the best ever filmed. It really is.

3/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 26, 2010)

Seen "Bodyguards and Assassins" yet?  I saw it a couple of weeks ago and loved Donnie Yen's fight with MMA fighter Cung Le (some Americans might have known of him for his fights with Frank Shamrock or have seen him in his Hollywood movies like "Fighting" or the upcoming Tekken movie.)


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2010)

Not yet. So its good?


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2010)

*The Cutter(2005)* - Chuck Norris stars(in his final film before retiring) as a PI who must track down a diamond cutter who has been captured by Nazi's(!!) who want him to cut some diamonds.....or something. Lame mystery, but Norris makes it watchable. He's just so likeable and cool, even surviving the crappy dialogue. It's better than Seagal's recent work, but not as good as Jean Claude Van Damme's more recent work. Cut!

2/4


----------



## Ronin0510 (Mar 6, 2010)

Have you reviewed Chocolate yet?


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2010)

Nope, but it's on my netflix list.


----------



## Ronin0510 (Mar 6, 2010)

LOL thats how I saw it lol I personnally loved it but wanted your opinion. Hope you like it as much as I did.


----------



## tinlunlau (Mar 6, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Not yet. So its good?



Yeah, I'd say "Bodyguards and Assassins" was okay.  A bit too much talk in the first half.  But the second half more than makes up for it.  Cung Le and Donnie Yen need to fight it out again.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 13, 2010)

*Zebraman(2004)* - A loser teacher dresses up as his favorite childhood superhero, and ends up having to protect the planet from aliens. Takashi Miike directs this strange character understudy and don't forget it. It's a character understudy, not an action film(although there is some slick action). Effective, but flawed. Try this one

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 15, 2010)

*Blood and Bone(2009)* - Michael Jai White stars as Bone(yes, cheesy I know), a man released from prison intent on entering underground fights. But he has more of a reason to do so than just making money from it. Kickass fight scenes that are both stylish and brutal, and Michael Jai White shows he can carry a film. However, the screenwriters inexperience shows in that he keeps changing the focus of the movie. Still, it's surprisingly decent considering it's a direct-to-DVD movie and is directed by the guy who wrote "Dragonball Evolution". Try this one

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 16, 2010)

*Ichi(2008)* - A blind swordswoman wanders the land, looking for her blind teacher, but ends up getting caught between a war between a group of bandits and yakuza. Obviously a spin-off of the Zatoichi series, and can be argued as either a re-imagining of the character(who is now female) or a sequel(it's possible her teacher was Zatoichi). The story is identical to a Zatoichi film, except the characters are more complex, the story is more complex and the visuals have that surreal, stunning look that is popular these days. A must see for fans. Try this one

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 20, 2010)

*Repo Men(2010)* - overly arty film about Jude Law and Forest Whitaker as two repo men(in the future) who repo peoples artificial organs when they aren't payed for. Their friendship is tested when Law has to get an artificial heart and gets behind on the bills. Unoriginal, absurd and pretentious mess. Try this one

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 22, 2010)

*Heroes of the East(1979)* - A kung fu expert(Gordon Liu, known mainly now for his dual roles in the Kill Bill movies) is put in an arranged marriage with a Japanese karate gal. The two struggle with the relationship, as their styles are so diverse, but misunderstandings lead to a team of Japanese elite fighters to come to China and challenge our hero. Good choreography with lots of styles and it works as a nice commentary on the feud of China and Japan. Try this one

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 27, 2010)

*Yip Man(2008)* - Donnie Yen plays (Y)Ip man, the legendary Wing Chun user who would later go on to train Bruce Lee. In the movie, he plays an expert martial artist whose kung fu paradise is interupted when Japan invaded in WW2. He must take on the Japanese and regain China's honor. Nothing in this movie is historically accurate, and I was a bit put off from some possible racist comments, but it is so wonderfully filmed and choreographed, I found myself loving it anyway. Sure why not

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 29, 2010)

*Shinobi no Mono 2: Vengeance(1963)* - Goemon, our protagonist ninja from the first film, decides to slay Oda Nobunaga once and for all when Nobunaga's agents kill his young son. While the first film was creative in that it focused on the ninja world and its effect on the samurai world, this sequel focuses more on the samurai world, feeling more generic for it because it offers nothing new. It's very mediocre. Sure why not

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 2, 2010)

*Clash of the Titans(2010)* - A demi-god must save humanity from the wrath of the gods in Ancient Greece. Brainless fun with little sense, but lots of cool special effects. It's a remake of a 1981 film and oddly, no titans are actually present. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2010)

*Ninja(2009)* - Two ninja(one being upcoming, potential action star Scott Adkins) must protect their clans most sacred secret from a renegade ninja in New York. The action is great. The problem is when it tries to be something more. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## beautiful scorpio (Apr 12, 2010)

Hey Marshall!  
 "Das Boot"

In my opinion it is very good but extremely long  This movie is seriously 5 hours long. I would recommend anyone to watch it if they had time.  It is one of the best action movies i have seen.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2010)

Yeah that was pretty epic.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 13, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *Ichi(2008)* - A blind swordswoman wanders the land, looking for her blind teacher, but ends up getting caught between a war between a group of bandits and yakuza. Obviously a spin-off of the Zatoichi series, and can be argued as either a re-imagining of the character(who is now female) or a sequel(it's possible her teacher was Zatoichi). The story is identical to a Zatoichi film, except the characters are more complex, the story is more complex and the visuals have that surreal, stunning look that is popular these days. A must see for fans. Link removed
> 
> 3.5/4


Never heard of that one, but I gotta check this shit out.  Send me your copy of the DVD. It's all the rage these days.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 13, 2010)

lol, I got it from netflix.........awhile back. You should seriously get an account dude. It saves money when you consider rental fees from the video store.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 13, 2010)

Denver doesn't even have rental stores anymore. Seriously, they all closed. 

I should get Netflix, I guess, but I'm cheap and afraid to use the people's mail box I live with.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 13, 2010)

isnt it only like $5 a month for one?


----------



## beautiful scorpio (Apr 14, 2010)

Tokyo Fist

This was a very good action movie by Shinya Tsukamoto.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 16, 2010)

*Kick-Ass(2010)* - A teenager decides to become a costumed hero, but gets caught up in a war between a crime boss and a Father-daughter pair of vigilantes. It has well written characters filled with great actors, stylish and bloody action, funny comedy and it even turns out to be a suprisingly effective drama. If it can be compared to anything, it's Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds". Link removed

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 5, 2010)

*Chocolate(2008) *- An autistic girl learns she has the ability to imitate the stars of martial arts films(especially Tony Jaa), and gets caught up in a past fued between her Mother and a Gangster. Some of the most amazing stunts ever, lots of great fights and superb nods to Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. It has some structure flaws, but on the whole, it's awesome. Link removed

3.5/4


----------



## tinlunlau (May 6, 2010)

Just saw Ip Man 2.  This coulda been a decent sequel if only the second half wasn't a play-by-play remake of "Rocky IV"!!!


----------



## MartialHorror (May 7, 2010)

Thats out already? Wow, so how does it compare overall to the first?


----------



## tinlunlau (May 7, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Thats out already? Wow, so how does it compare overall to the first?



Well, like I said, it started off great and it actually had some decent character development, particularly with Yip Man's disciple, Wong Shun-Leung (played by Huang Xiao-Ming).  Then the second half is like an exact copy of Rocky IV and a little big of Rocky II.  If you know how Rocky IV ends, then you'll probably know what happens in Ip Man 2.  Not a complete flop but the Rocky influences kinda kept me disappointed.  The epilogue scene was a nice little touch, though.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 8, 2010)

Ah, I'll see it when I can.

*Iron Man 2(2010)* - Tony Stark, AKA Iron Man, is targeted by the Government, rivals, and a vicious genius who at the absolute least is his match. This, added to the fact that he's dying, causes him severe anguish. It's a watered down version of the first film, but considering how much I loved the first film, that still makes this good(to me). If you didn't like the first one, I'd avoid it. Link removed

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 12, 2010)

*Zatoichi's Flashing Sword*(1964) - The blind swordsman Ichi gets involved in another fued, this time between a honorable gangster and a corrupt one. Guess what happens? Overcomplicated and generic, redeemed by a pretty awesome finale. For fans only. First Look at Peter Sarsgaard as hammond

2.5/4


----------



## Fran (May 13, 2010)

Just watched Ip Man 2. It was pretty awful. That horrible nationalism overtone is still there, and the boxing fights were rather dull, but it started out pretty good, and Sammo Hung. Like others said. Rocky >.>

Ahhh Sammo Hung  you badass.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 15, 2010)

Hmm, I must see it too.

*Robin Hood(2010)* - A lowly archer named Robin Hood gets dragged into a war when he takes on the identity of a dead Knight. It changes so much of the original story(partially due to it being a prequel) that it doesn't feel like Robin Hood. It's lost all the charm and color of previous adaptations, and feels like a "Gladiator" clone. So much is wrong with the movie, but I can't deny that it moves by swiftly and I think I like it more than my rating suggests. bag filter

2/4


----------



## masamune1 (May 15, 2010)

I read somewhere that _Robin Hood_ is supposed to be the first in a series. So if it feels like they are underusing certain characters it's probably because they plan on using them later.

Though, it has been getting a lot of bad reviews, so I would'nt be surprised if those plans fall through.

Also, Sir Godfrey is supposed to be Sir Guy of Gisbourne, and he's been set above the Sheriff of Nottingham in a few other adaptations (like the Errol Flynn one). So you should'nt be too hard on the film for focusing on Godrey more than him.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 15, 2010)

masamune1 said:


> I read somewhere that _Robin Hood_ is supposed to be the first in a series. So if it feels like they are underusing certain characters it's probably because they plan on using them later.
> 
> Though, it has been getting a lot of bad reviews, so I would'nt be surprised if those plans fall through.
> 
> Also, Sir Godfrey is supposed to be Sir Guy of Gisbourne, and he's been set above the Sheriff of Nottingham in a few other adaptations (like the Errol Flynn one). So you should'nt be too hard on the film for focusing on Godrey more than him.



I wasn't. I actually liked Sir Godfrey as a villain(Mark Strong owns). It's just that I dont like how pointless some of these other characters(like the Sheriff of Nottingham) are. I wouldn't have minded if he didn't even appear in the movie. His part was simply filler.

It's obviously a prequel, so I can't expect a direct remake. I just felt that the characters were either unnecessary or underdeveloped.


----------



## masamune1 (May 15, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> I wasn't. I actually liked Sir Godfrey as a villain(Mark Strong owns). It's just that I dont like how pointless some of these other characters(like the Sheriff of Nottingham) are. I wouldn't have minded if he didn't even appear in the movie. His part was simply filler.
> 
> It's obviously a prequel, so I can't expect a direct remake. I just felt that the characters were either unnecessary or underdeveloped.



Well, you said they might as well have made Godfrey Nottingham.......


----------



## MartialHorror (May 15, 2010)

masamune1 said:


> Well, you said they might as well have made Godfrey Nottingham.......



True. I wasn't aware that Godfrey was meant to be someone else. Couldn't they have just called him Sir Guy?


----------



## masamune1 (May 15, 2010)

Yes. Yes they could.


----------



## Xion (May 16, 2010)

Surprised you haven't checked out The Human Centipede yet.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 16, 2010)

lol, why would you post that HERE?

Anyway, why haven't I seen it? Well, for one, last I checked, netflix doesn't have it. Two, it seems like a stupid fucking gimmick. Three, I actually don't enjoy mean spirited exploitation all that much. Gross doesn't always mean good.

I probably will see it one day, whether it be curiosity or a request, but I am not excited to do so.


----------



## Xion (May 17, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, why would you post that HERE?
> 
> Anyway, why haven't I seen it? Well, for one, last I checked, netflix doesn't have it. Two, it seems like a stupid fucking gimmick. Three, I actually don't enjoy mean spirited exploitation all that much. Gross doesn't always mean good.
> 
> I probably will see it one day, whether it be curiosity or a request, but I am not excited to do so.



Sorry about that, didn't realize you had two different threads on the topic. I will make this last post here since I already posted here though.

But I just noticed you never even reviewed Hostel, so I can't really recommend watching this one. Was about to say it is neither as graphic nor as pornographic as Hostel, but if you don't have Hostel up there I can't really recommend reviewing this one either.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 17, 2010)

lol, no worries.

I've seen "Hostel", and liked it(although I didn't love it like many people do). I've heard that "Human Centipede" is more gross in just the general idea than the overall execution.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 25, 2010)

*Universal Soldier: Regeneration(2009)* - Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren reprise their roles in this third entry in the official Universal Story trilogy. JCVD is sent to retrieve hostages and kill terrorists, whose trumpcards are not only Lundgren, but an even bigger threat as well. Good action, poor plotting and despite being the main character, JCVD feels like a subplot....and Lundgren is barely in it at all. Unanswered LOST questions.

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 26, 2010)

*Last Hurrah for Chivalry(1979)* - When his family is killed, a mysterious scholar manipulates two swordsmen to get revenge for him. Superb choreography, superb style and superb characters make this one of the best kung fu flicks out there. It's also directed by a young John Woo. Unanswered LOST questions.

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 28, 2010)

*Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time(2010)* - A Prince must save the world and avenge his Father by protecting a dagger that manipulates time against an evil Lord. It is an enjoyable, dumb, epic, summer blockbuster. I don't get why so many critics become so irritated at this....Harmony of Despair seems to be a Castlevania game.

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 30, 2010)

*Armitage III: Poly Matrix(1997)* - This anime is about two detectives on a futuristic Mars who must hunt down a man that is murderoing humanoid robots. Stylish and energetic, the film is actually just a condensed version of the anime series. So it is pretty confusing and we feel like we're missing a lot of information. Still, Armitage is an interesting enough character to keep things engaging. Batman RIP

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 9, 2010)

*Wushu Warrior(2010)* - This cheap, made-for-Cable kung fu adventure has a white kid growing up in an ancient, Chinese village where he learns kung fu and enters a rebellion. Very little is done right, but the movie does have a strange charm about it. Maybe I was amused by it. Maybe I just have a soft spot for these kinds of films.....Either way, "Dragonball Evolution" kept popping in my head in terms of how I enjoyed it. Superman/Batman Annual 4 preview

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 12, 2010)

*The Karate Kid(2010)* - An American moves to China and must deal with bullies who know kung fu. Eventually he is trained by a kung fu master(Jackie Chan) to fight in a tournament. While flawed(he uses kung fu, not karate) and plagued with some pacing issues, it is a gripping drama with a good fight scenes(although not many). Everyone involved does a good job. Superman/Batman Annual 4 preview

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2010)

*Jonah Hex(2010)* - An outlaw hunts down the man who took his family and scarred his face. While the cast does good and it moves quickly, the style is standard and the script is uninspired. Low brow entertainment at its finest.....which doesn't say much. Moff's law

2/4


----------



## Vanthebaron (Jun 22, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *Armitage III: Poly Matrix(1997)* - This anime is about two detectives on a futuristic Mars who must hunt down a man that is murderoing humanoid robots. Stylish and energetic, the film is actually just a condensed version of the anime series. So it is pretty confusing and we feel like we're missing a lot of information. Still, Armitage is an interesting enough character to keep things engaging.
> 
> 3/4



Did you also get a blade runner vibe from it?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 22, 2010)

Yeah. That inspiration was pretty heavy.


----------



## Vanthebaron (Jun 22, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah. That inspiration was pretty heavy.



Have you seen the ova's yet?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 22, 2010)

Nope. I might though


----------



## Vanthebaron (Jun 22, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Nope. I might though



I recommend them. They fill in all the blanks


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 22, 2010)

Will do(although won't review; although I might state my feelings here)

*The Hidden Blade(2004)* - A samurai must chose between love and class as well as between friendship and duty while the samurai age draws to a close as the western style of combat begins to take over. It's a well made drama, just don't expect action. It did feel a bit too much like (the directors own) "Twilight Samurai" though. 

2.5/4


----------



## Vonocourt (Jun 22, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *Jonah Hex(2010)* - An outlaw hunts down the man who took his family and scarred his face. While the cast does good and it moves quickly, the style is standard and the script is uninspired. Low brow entertainment at its finest.....which doesn't say much.
> 
> 2/4



Yeah,... whatever Armond White.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 22, 2010)

Vonocourt said:


> Yeah,... whatever Armond White.



Ugh. It's Dragonball Evolution all over again.....


----------



## tinlunlau (Jun 24, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Karate Kid(2010)* - An American moves to China and must deal with bullies who know kung fu. Eventually he is trained by a kung fu master(Jackie Chan) to fight in a tournament. While flawed(he uses kung fu, not karate) and plagued with some pacing issues, it is a gripping drama with a good fight scenes(although not many). Everyone involved does a good job.
> 
> 3/4



HEHEH...MY ONLINE FRIEND WAS THE GIRL WHO DANCED WITH THE COBRA IN THIS MOVIE.  HER NAME IS ZHOU XIAO-FEI (周小飞).


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 24, 2010)

lol, cool!


----------



## Vonocourt (Jun 29, 2010)

The RZA made a kung-fu movie.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 29, 2010)

Im not sure if I should be excited or horrified......


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2010)

*The Last Airbender(2010)* - Four nations dominate the world, each named after an element they can control. Only one boy can control them all and he is chosen to create peace among the warring nations. It's not as bad as everyone says, but it's not very good either. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. So Bad It's Horrible

2/4 Stars


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 6, 2010)

*The Keeper(2009)* - Steven Seagal's latest direct-to-DVD film has him protecting a friends daughter. Bland, but not agonizing. Link removed

2/4


----------



## Noda. B (Jul 8, 2010)

There's this Taiwanese film called Three Times (zui hao de shi guang) that I really want to check out but it's a bitch to find a stream for it (have this thing against downloading). There's been some mixed reviews for it so I'm wondering if it's worth the effort to search for. Granted it's a romance so it might not be your taste but.... yeah.


edit: wow, and I'm writing this all under the assumption that you take requests lol.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 8, 2010)

I do take requests, but they need to be in my field.

Havent heard of that one though.


----------



## Noda. B (Jul 8, 2010)

Does your field include these kind of foreign films? Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be an asian RomCom. I think the premise is basically just looking at three different relationships at three different important times in Taiwan's history with the couple being played by the same actor/actress.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 8, 2010)

If it has any martial arts it does.


----------



## Noda. B (Jul 8, 2010)

Oh.... well then nevermind lol. Carry on.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 8, 2010)

*Ninja Checkmate(1979)* - A boy learns unorthodox kung fu to avenge his Father. Despite the title, there are no ninjas. It's just another rip-off of Jackie Chan's "Drunken Master". Very shoddy in terms of quality, but it does work as low brow kung fu entertainment. Mark Hamill to retire joker role after Arkham Asylum 2

2/4


----------



## Vault (Jul 9, 2010)

Lol Martial how dare you, Mystery of  chessboxing shoddy???  Im sorry but what


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 9, 2010)

Worst editing I've ever seen, and whole scenes seem to be missing.


----------



## Vault (Jul 9, 2010)

You must have seen a terrible copy then.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 9, 2010)

I dunno. There were a lot of jumpcuts during the action scenes, which indicates that the actors messed up so they had to retake it. 

Also, I've heard other complaints over this(example, how come the main dude is suddenly beaten up at one point when no fight scene was shown and Simon Yuen's death is off-screen.


----------



## Vault (Jul 9, 2010)

I remember his death off panel. But dont remember Ghost face beaten up. It seems Ninja checkmate and Mystery of chessboxing really differ even though they are the same movie.

I shall rewatch it now and get back to you.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 9, 2010)

I meant the main guy being beaten up, not Ghost Face. I go deeper into what I didnt like about it in the full review(although I didnt really dislike it either). But yeah, maybe I got a shitty copy.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2010)

*W Django(1971)* - Also known as "A Man Called Django" and "Viva! Django". This is one of the many unofficial sequels to the original 1966 "Django". Despite "Django" being a rip-off of Leone's "Fistful of Dollars", it ended up inspiring a whole wave of spaghetti westerns, spawning 30-100 unofficial sequels(the numbers vary). 

"W Django", about a man seeking vengeance against the gang who raped and killed his wife, is actually a very entertaining and sometimes intelligent movie. Too bad the DVD quality makes it nearly unwatchable. Damn, this is one of the worst prints ever seen! This Django seeks out a bandit who formerly belonged to the gang who killed his wife in order to track them down. This relationship is lifted from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" and there is a locket that reminded me of the one in "For a Few Dollars More". The director was clearly a fan of Leone.

There are some awesome gun battles, decent twists, detestable villains and a morally ambiguous hero. It would be a 3/4 star movie, but the DVD quality sucks too much, lowering it. NOT A FULL REVIEW.

2.5/4


----------



## The Soldier (Jul 13, 2010)

been pretty much avoiding all of the recent ones here in the US, they're just plain sad, I miss all the ones from the 70's and 80's, Bruce Lee's were epic


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2010)

Yup.

*Inception(2010)* - A man who can steal ideas in dreams thanks to the advanced technology takes a job where he must plant an idea instead. Not as easy as it sounds. Filled with spectacular special effects that have relevance to the story and characters, gorundbreaking stylish visuals, well written characters that you become attached to and a challenging story, "Inception" is a downright superb movie. Cool fight scenes too.  

4/4


----------



## Shoddragon (Jul 17, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Yup.
> 
> *Inception(2010)* - A man who can steal ideas in dreams thanks to the advanced technology takes a job where he must plant an idea instead. Not as easy as it sounds. Filled with spectacular special effects that have relevance to the story and characters, gorundbreaking stylish visuals, well written characters that you become attached to and a challenging story, "Inception" is a downright superb movie. Cool fight scenes too.
> 
> 4/4




dammit dammit dammit dammit DAMMIT. my friend said inception was mindblowing and intelligent then I come here and you give it a 4/4? now I have to go see it. this movie looks fucking sweet now.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2010)

Yup.

*Undisputed II: Last Man Standing*- This direct-to-DVD sequel to the Ving Rhames/Wesley Snipes prison boxing vehicle has Michael Jai White replacing Rhames as the former champ, who is sent to a Russian prison for being framed. There, he's forced to fight the underground fighting champion in order to win his freedom. The story is just one cliche after another, but the fight scenes are quite exceptional. Watching White fight Scott Adkins(who has since become a direct-to-DVD star as well) is like the Direct-to-DVD equivalent of watching Bruce Lee fight Chuck Norris. It's just awesome. In fact, this sums the movie up: Not good, but awesome.  

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 20, 2010)

*Yip Man 2(2010)* - The legendary kung fu master Ip Man moves to Hong Kong to start a new life, away from brutal rule of the Japanese. Unfortunately, not he must contend with the brutal rule of shady kung fu masters as well as the British. While it is technically inferior to the first film, I felt it was less robotic in its emotional impact. The fight scenes are still top notch and the cast is amazing. Donnie Yen is perfect as Ip Man and Sammo Hung perhaps gives his best performance as a bitter kung fu teacher. Yes, they do have a fight scene together. Oddly, the 3rd act becomes a "Rocky 4" rip-off. Still a must see for fans. 8 pcs of Ralph Lauren Custom-Fit 1967 Match Polo 1000

3.5/4


----------



## masamune1 (Jul 20, 2010)

You know, he did'nt _really_ train Bruce Lee.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Jul 20, 2010)

It was in the movie, it had to be true. 

I also picked up heavy, heavy Rocky IV vibes from this movie. It was basically a balant copy of it. I looked up Ip Man later to see if any of that shit was true, but, sadly, it wasn't. He was a famous mofo though.

Good movie.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 20, 2010)

Masa: Eh? Actually he did....Although only for a few years, if I recall.

Crazy: Yeah, the movie completely changed his history. In real life, he was an Opium addict who pretty much abandoned his family....Now why couldn't they make a movie about that?!


----------



## masamune1 (Jul 20, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Masa: Eh? Actually he did....Although only for a few years, if I recall.
> 
> Crazy: Yeah, the movie completely changed his history. In real life, he was an Opium addict who pretty much abandoned his family....Now why couldn't they make a movie about that?!



Eh, no. Bruce went to the school that Yip Man ran (partly to fund said opium habit) but he only stayed there for about a year. Ip Man rarely personally trained anyone; Lee was probably taught by junior instructors and other students. The reason he left was that most of the class shunned him when he was found to be only part Chinese; after that he had to make do with being taught in private by a few friends from the school who did'nt mind about the race thing.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 20, 2010)

Ah, okay, got it.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Jul 20, 2010)

Opium addict kung-fu master fighting crime in a future time? I like it. Let's work up a draft and sell it to Hollywood (I hear they're desperate for ideas).


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2010)

*Shinobi no Mono 3: Resurrection(1963)* - The legendary ninja Goemon survives the events of the previous film and continues to hunt the Lord who killed his wife. Only worth watching if you liked the previous films. Otherwise, it's slow and confusing, albeit well made. 

Interesting note: The film made the Lord more sympathetic while Goemon is becoming harder to like. The line becomes blurred, making us wonder who the hero is supposed to be. A nice touch in an otherwise bland movie. Looks like the Track Team is on board for "Korra".

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2010)

*The Karate Kid(1984)* - A boy moves to California and becomes the target of bullies who are taught karate by a ruthless teacher. He befriends a handyman named Mr. Miyagi who happens to be a master of the art himself. Mr. Miyagi reluctantly teaches the boy to defend himself. While the karate itself here is really fake looking, the drama feels very real. The acting by the two leads in itself is phenomenal. A must see as long as you remember it is a DRAMA. Followed by 3 sequels(that get worse and worse) and a remake in 2010. Link removed

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2010)

*The Expendables(2010)* - Ever wanted to see Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Couture, Eric Roberts, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the same movie? An action movie? This delivers. It's about a group of mercs having to take out a ruthless dictator in South America. Bloody, gritty and extreme action ensues. It's a hardcore action film for hardcore action fans. Link removed

3.5/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Aug 15, 2010)

From what I gathered, Bruce Lee considered Wong Shun-Leung (played by Huang Xiao-Ming in "Ip Man 2") to be his master more than Yip Man.


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2010)

Maybe! His wife says otherwise, but I dont know if I trust her.

*Yakuza: Like a Dragon*: Based on the video game "Yakuza", multiple events surround a badass yakuza as he tries to find the mother of a little girl. It feels like a whole game was crammed in here, storywise, and I was often confused. Even Miike's style feels lacking. But the characters are interesting, and maybe you will get it if you've played the game. Directed by Takashi Miike. Link removed

2/4


----------



## Dynamite Right (Aug 16, 2010)

Horror have you reviewed flashpoint?


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2010)

No, but I'm going to be seeing it in a week or 2......I think. It's on my netflix and I bumped it up somewhat.


----------



## Dynamite Right (Aug 16, 2010)

It is both awesome and crappy. I shouldnt say crappy. Rather somewhat campy.


----------



## Shock Therapy (Aug 16, 2010)

I liked the first Yip Man more than the second, but both were awesome.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 1, 2010)

*Undisputed III: Redemption(2010)* - Boyka(villain of the previous film) loses his title of Prison fighting champion after his leg was broken at the conclusion of "Undisputed 2". He retrains himself and enters a tournament where prison champions gather to fight. The fight choreography is just as amazing as before and the script is much tighter this time around. Very good for a direct-to-DVD sequel. Link removed

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2010)

*Machete(2010)* - Danny Trejo stars as Machete, a man who decides to get revenge on the people who betrayed them. A passable exploitation film thanks to the gore, nudity and style....but it becomes more concerned with expressing its political message and crushes itself under its own ambitions. Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin and Tom Savini co-star. Trick R Treat

2.5/4


----------



## DideeKawaii (Sep 5, 2010)

Warrior Two. There's Sammo Hung in it. All about Wing Chun and crazy fights. The last fight is insanity!


----------



## masamune1 (Sep 5, 2010)

> To assist him is Sartana(Jessica Alba), an immigration customs agent. Apparently she’s supposed to be of Mexican descent(huh?).



Jessica Alba _is_ of Mexican descent.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2010)

I worded that poorly. With a name like Sartana, it suggests that she was either born in Mexico or her parents were. But Alba doesn't look very Mexican because in real life, only her Father was Mexican and he was born in California. 

So while her last name still is Mexican, she doesn't look it at all, which is a strange contrast with her name.

(By the way, Cobra review will be up tomorrow..or should be).


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 6, 2010)

*Cobra(1986)* - Sylvester Stallone stars as Cobra, a rogue cop who declares war on crime. His current target: Catching a gang of axe wielding serial killers(yes, you read that correctly) who are attempting to kill a witness. The film has a lot of good stuff(amazing action, style and intensity) and a lot of bad stuff(it's predictable, absurd, contrived and filled with plot holes). Depending if you'll like it depends on which side sticks out to you. Personally, I think it's a satire, intentionally bringing in all that is bad and good about vigilante/action films. It's also one of the few movies to combine the action genre with the slasher genre(yay!). Trick R Treat

3/4


----------



## isanon (Sep 7, 2010)

if you havent seen red cliff (john woo film) go watch it. its realy realy good

like curse of the golden flower good


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2010)

Yeah, it's on my netflix list? International version or the two part version?


----------



## isanon (Sep 7, 2010)

probably the international version, saw it on blue-ray at a friend


----------



## Nakor (Sep 7, 2010)

isanon said:


> if you havent seen red cliff (john woo film) go watch it. its realy realy good
> 
> like curse of the golden flower good



I hated curse of the golden flower. Red Cliff was incredible though.


----------



## isanon (Sep 8, 2010)

Nakor said:


> I hated curse of the golden flower. Red Cliff was incredible though.



how can you hate curse of the golden flower??


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2010)

I thought it was good, but not great.
*
By the Sword(1991)* - F. Murray Abraham stars as a former fencer who becomes a janitor at the fencing school of the ruthless teacher played by Eric Roberts. This rare to find movie is actually pretty good "Karate Kid" knock-off, but its flaws are heavy. Trick R Treat

2.5/4


----------



## Nakor (Sep 8, 2010)

isanon said:


> how can you hate curse of the golden flower??



It was really boring. the plot had no interest for me and their weren't any good action scenes to make up for it.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 11, 2010)

*Resident Evil: Afterlife(2010)* - Alice goes to LA after losing her powers to find more survivors. She finds some, but now has to rescue them. The 3D makes it worthwhile, immersing us into the experience while throwing plenty of gimmicky effects at us. The film is a visual feast, always allowing us to see the visuals in their fullest. It's just too bad that Paul W.S Anderson once again shows that he can't sustain a tone. But in 3D, this is my personal favorite of the series. What could this be?!

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2010)

*Showdown in Little Tokyo(1991)* - Dolph Lundgren and the late Brandon Lee star as two detectives hunting down Yakuza in Little Tokyo. It's so bad it's good, or as I like to say: It's craptastic! What could this be?!

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 15, 2010)

*Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball(2010)* - A bunch of assassins track down a target protected by FBI agents in a safe house. This prequel to the original is pretty much a washed up rehash, offering nothing new or interesting. Still, for a direct-to-DVD movie, it's not bad. What could this be?!

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 21, 2010)

*Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger(1976)* - Bruce Li(the best of the Bruce Lee clones) plays the Tiger, a student of Bruce Lee who decides to avenge the death of his master(Lee was murdered). While a shameless cash-in on Bruce Lee's death, it's one of the better Brucexploitation films out there. VPS 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2010)

*Flash Point(2007)* - Wilson Yip(director of "Yip Man") and Donnie Yen seem to be attached to the hip in this cop drama/kung fu opus hybrid. Yen stars as a brutal cop who must protect his undercover partner from a gang of ruthless triad members. It's not sure if it wants to be a cop drama or a martial arts film, and doesn't have enough drama to satisfy fans of the first nor enough martial arts to satisfy fans of the second, but it has enough of each to be a worthwhile film in the long run. Just the amazing fight scene between Yen and Collin Chou("Seraph from the Matrix") is worth watching this for alone. into the new world ballad

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2010)

*District 13: Ultimatum(2009)* - This sequel to "District B13" has our two protagonists get caught up in a plot to destroy District B13. The film is good fun for the first two acts, but then the 3rd act becomes stupid fun. It takes itself a bit too seriously, but it moves nicely and uses the parkour as part of the action.....not the action itself. It's not really better than its predecessor, but I think I prefer it more. The fight scenes are especially better. Good enough for me to give her a wiki page.

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2010)

*Sugata Sanshiro Part II(1945)* - The famous Judo fighter must battle U.S Boxers and Japanese Karate experts. Not bad, but pointless. Good enough for me to give her a wiki page.

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2010)

*The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi(2003)* - Commonly just called "Zatoichi", this reboot of the famous franchise stars Takeshi Kitano("Battle Royale") and is also directed by Takeshi Kitano(not "Battle Royale"; He did do "Sonatine" and "Brother" though). Kitano plays the blind swordsman Ichi, who gets caught up in an immensely confusing plot. Kitano seems to have been overambitious with this film, as too much is going on. Yet somehow it does achieve a kind of abstract brilliance. It's fun, but Kitano made Ichi boring as hell compared to all the other characters. I like Mong but he should go to the military and get it over and done with

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2010)

*Two Champions of Shaolin(1978)* - Two Shaolin Warriors make allies and enemies as they fight the dreaded Wu Tang Clan. Typical decent old school kung fu film. It has your bad scripting, but good fight choreography. here

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2010)

*Clash of the Titans(1981)* - This remake about a half man/half god who must go on a quest to save a Princess from being sacrificed is sometimes scary, sometimes awe inspiring and sometimes just badass. But scenes go on for too long and many scenes end up being dull and anti-climactic. Uneven. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2010)

*Revenge of the Ninja(1983)* - A ninja retires to America to raise his young son. But soon, he gets caught up in a drug war and must resort to his own ways. The film is awful, with bad acting, bad writing and bad directing. Yet it's often entertaining, full of violence, ninja action and even some breasts. Sleazy fun, and nothing more. You can find gifs here

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 2, 2010)

*Lady Snowblood(1973)* - A woman who has been trained as a warrior seeks vengeance on the men who raped her Mother and killed her Father. Bloody, artistic and stunning to watch, it's only bogged down by a fractured structure(with too many flashbacks) and a pointless narration. The leading actress is superb, making the character far more interesting than the manga counterpart. here

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2010)

*The Shepherd: Border Patrol(2008)* - Jean Claude Van Damme stars as a detective who is transferred to the Border patrol, where he must take on drug lords. When the film works, it works very well, with solid action scenes and good fight scenes. Other times, the low budget shows and nothing seems to be happening. Still, for a direct-to-DVD film, it's pretty good and it's worth watching just to see Van Damme fight Scott Adkins. Directed by Isaac Florentine, who directed "Undisputed 2", "Undisputed 3" and "Ninja". Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 17, 2010)

*Dreadnaught(1981)* - Yuen Biao stars as a hapless coward who gets on the bad side of a psychotic killer. If you liked Jackie Chan or Sammo Hungs movies at the time, you'll like this. It has quirky characters and cool fight scenes. It just takes too long to tie in its many subplots. here.

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 20, 2010)

*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1(2010)* - Lord Voldemort takes over the Ministry in the 7th entry of the franchise, and Harry and his friends must go into hiding. Excellently framed with gorgeous and symbolic imagery, some intense and frightening moments and a strong sense of isolation and paranoia. Perhaps a bit too 'mature' for this type of film and you must contend with the slow pace, but I thought it was great. here.

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 26, 2010)

*Faster(2010)* - The Rock goes to get revenge on the people who murdered his brother. If you've seen one revenge movie, you've seen this one, except this time it has a bigger-than-usual cast. Only for fans of revenge flicks(which I am). here.

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 30, 2010)

*High-Kick Girl(2009)* - A badass karate schoolgirl gets caught up in a feud between her master and a group of old foes. The film is shoddily made, especially with the sound effects and editing, but I thought the fight choreography was very good. Even better, it comes at us often. I enjoyed it for what it was. this

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 2, 2010)

*Fight, Zatoichi, Fight!(1964)* - The blind swordsman Ichi, feeling responsible for the death of a Mother, agrees to take her infant child to her husband. Sometimes funny, sometimes heartwarming and sometimes ambitious with the sword battles, it's a pretty good entry. It's flaw is like most Zatoichi films: I can't tell them apart. this

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 4, 2010)

*The Warrior's Way(2010)* - The worlds strongest swordsman refuses to kill the infant heir to an enemy clan, so flees to America with the child, where he's attacked by ninja and outlaws. Very stylish with elements from spaghetti westerns, samurai movies and ninja movies. It develops the characters nicely but the action scenes didn't do much for me. here.

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 12, 2010)

* The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader(2010) *- Edmund and Lucy return to Narnia, where they must board a ship to stop an evil mist. It has the imagination of the first film, the competancy of the second film, yet lacks something that made those two films good. It's not bad, but it's the weakest of the series(so far). Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2010)

*Goyokin(1969)* - Two Ronin team up to stop a conspiracy along involving wrecked ships, whole villages that have vanished and plenty of gold. Excellent Samurai film with strong fight scenes, a unique plot and an even more unique visual style that probably inspired the wave of 'artistic' samurai films of the 1970's. Shirts

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 19, 2010)

*TRON: Legacy(2010)* - When the protagonist of the 1982 film vanishes, it's up to his son to travel to 'the grid', a super computer world thing, to save him. If I'd seen the original, I think I'd understand it a bit more. But at its core, the story is very conventional and predictable. Luckily, it more than makes up for it with amazing visuals. This is, in my opinion, the first film to successfully combine live action characters in artificial CGI worlds(I refer to movies where the worlds aren't meant to resemble real life; Speed Racer, the Spirit, etc.). RM19 has been subbed for quite a while

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 21, 2010)

*Red Cliff: Part 1(2008)* - Two Clans must unite to fight off a general with a massive army. Hong Kong's most flamboyant epic does deliver at......being a flamboyant epic, full of excellent visuals and stunning action sequences. The narrative is a bit sluggish though, not helped by a tacked on love story. Parvati's Actress Beaten by Her Brother for Dating Non-Muslim

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2010)

*Operation: Endgame(2010) *- A group of assassins turn on eachother when it becomes apparent one(or more) of them killed their superior. But they're in an underground building set to explode so......sucks to be them. Despite a surprisingly impressive cast, the film doesn't know if it wants to be a thriller or a comedy, trying both and predictably failing at both. Painful. Parvati's Actress Beaten by Her Brother for Dating Non-Muslim

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2010)

*Batman(1966)* - Batman and Robin must take on the combined forces of the Riddler, Penguin, Joker and Catwoman. It's a great, energetic camp classic, with surprisingly clever dialogue. But with todays audiences sucking on Nolan's cinematic dick, they might miss the joke. here.

3/4


----------



## masamune1 (Dec 27, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *Batman(1966)* - Batman and Robin must take on the combined forces of the Riddler, Penguin, Joker and Catwoman. It's a great, energetic camp classic, with surprisingly clever dialogue. But with todays audiences sucking on Nolan's cinematic dick, they might miss the joke. here.
> 
> 3/4



For the Joker, I think it was'nt until the 1970's that he truly became Batman's archenemy. In the TV series, in the 1st season The Riddler actually had more appearances than him or any other villain, including the first one, so I think they treated _him_ as the arch-villain. Joker in the 60's was'nt really meant to be too effectual.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2010)

Ah, that's odd, because it seems like the only one I'd ever hear about was Cesar Romero as Joker in the old series. 

I didnt here about anyone else, but that makes sense.


----------



## masamune1 (Dec 27, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Ah, that's odd, because it seems like the only one I'd ever hear about was Cesar Romero as Joker in the old series.
> 
> I didnt here about anyone else, but that makes sense.



Really? Frank Gorshin and Burgess Meredith are pretty famous for their performances. So did Eartha Kitt and the women who played Catwoman. And the celeb guests. 

Joker became a bit more prominent as the show went on, but Cesar Romero is probably so famous in the role because the role became so famous.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2010)

masamune1 said:


> Really? Frank Gorshin and Burgess Meredith are pretty famous for their performances. So did Eartha Kitt and the women who played Catwoman. And the celeb guests.
> 
> Joker became a bit more prominent as the show went on, but Cesar Romero is probably so famous in the role because the role became so famous.



That's probably it. The Joker became so popular that Romero became popular because of it.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2011)

*Red Cliff II(2009)* - The battle of Red Cliff continues in this ultra epic epic. It focuses more on story this time around, fleshing out the characters. But the film films innovative style feels more tame. It's still a nice visual feast, but now feels kind of ordinary. Still, overall I'd say it's about as good as the first one. here.

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 5, 2011)

*Ten Tigers of Kwangtung(1979)* - This Star studded Shaw Brothers feature was an attempt to counter the (superior) antics of Jackie Chan(who was now a star for Golden Harvest). It's about the legendary 10 Tigers of Canton/Kwangtung and their legacy or some nonsense. It's all kind of incoherent and thin, but does offer pretty good kung fu, and lots of it. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2011)

*Season of the Witch(2011)* - Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman star as Two Knights who must escort a witch to a convent so that she can be put on trial for causing a plague. It has its good aspects and it's bad ones. The script is uneven but the acting is good. The CGI is bad, but the action good! It's okay overall. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 11, 2011)

*A Dangerous Man(2009)* - Steven Seagal stars as a man wrongfully convicted of a murder, losing everything, but then being released only to find himself in the middle of a smuggling scandal. It's your typical (direct-to-DVD) Steven Seagal movie except with better fight scenes and a violent mean streak. Wait, a decent Steven Seagal movie?! HOLY SNAPPLEPOPS! Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## Vault (Jan 12, 2011)

More old school Kung Fu movies Martial. Its rare to see someone who actually watches them let alone review and discuss them.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 12, 2011)

hmmm, the next kung fu movie I watch is Shinjuku Incident(and Lady Snowblood 2, but thats a samurai film)

But I have plenty of old school kung fu movies on my netflix, so no worries there.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 16, 2011)

*The Green Hornet(2011)* - A rich playboy and a badass servant join forces to become crime fighters. It has intriguing characters and a nice sense of humor, but doesn't know what to do with them, making the narrative kind of slow. It's a lot like "Iron Man", but only matches it with the comedy. The action, characters, relationships, development and pacing aren't anywhere near good as that films. here.

2/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Jan 17, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> hmmm, the next kung fu movie I watch is Shinjuku Incident(and Lady Snowblood 2, but thats a samurai film)
> 
> But I have plenty of old school kung fu movies on my netflix, so no worries there.



But Shinjuku Incident isn't a kung fu movie at all.  It's the exact opposite of a typical Jackie Chan movie.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2011)

Oh? Hmmmm, not sure what my next kung fu movie is then, I guess. But no worries, I have plenty of them on netflix.


----------



## Vault (Jan 20, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> hmmm, the next kung fu movie I watch is Shinjuku Incident(and Lady Snowblood 2, but thats a samurai film)
> 
> But I have plenty of old school kung fu movies on my netflix, so no worries there.



I look forward to your reviews.


----------



## tinlunlau (Jan 24, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> Oh? Hmmmm, not sure what my next kung fu movie is then, I guess. But no worries, I have plenty of them on netflix.



Try "Bruce Lee, My Brother".
That fight scene where Bruce Lee fights the white guy was a great homage to classic Bruce Lee fights.  Had a good laugh at the cat.  Just like "Way of the Dragon".  lol!

I still think Robert Lee's introduction was kinda unnecessary, though.  (Robert Lee being Bruce Lee's younger brother)


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2011)

I wouldn't count on that one.....netflix doesn't even have a reference to it...


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 27, 2011)

*Shinjuku Incident(2009)* - Jackie Chan stars as an illegal immigrant trying to survive in Japan. But eventually sick of just 'surviving', he begins making a name for himself in the criminal underworld. It's not your usual Jackie Chan adventure. It's a gangster drama. Pretty good, but not great. MV costs of SNSD, 2NE1 and BEG

3/4


----------



## Violent by Design (Jan 27, 2011)

fuck jackie chan.


----------



## tinlunlau (Jan 30, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> I wouldn't count on that one.....netflix doesn't even have a reference to it...



There are ways other tan netflix to obtain a copy of the new Bruce Lee biopic.  You can either buy it online or download it.  The movie is basically a recollection (thru the memories of Bruce's sibling.  Namely his younger Robert) of Bruce Lee in his youth before he was sent back to America.  It is based on Robert Lee's book.  He even shows up in the beginning of the movie along with his sister Phoebe Lee.

By the way, I've just seen the new "Shaolin" movie starring Andy Lau, Nicholas Tse and a brief appearance by Jackie Chan.  Not a bad movie.  Lots of fights in it too.  Also nice to see Hung Yan-Yan on the movie screens again.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 1, 2011)

I'll check it out then.

*Masters of the Universe(1987)* - Dolph Lundgren stars as He-Man, who must go to Earth to find an artifact that might defeat the evil Skeletor. Pretty lame....here.

1.5/4


----------



## masamune1 (Feb 1, 2011)

> “Masters of the Universe” is based on “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe”, a show I remember vaguely never being a fan of



(bites lip.....)

(lips starts bleeding.....)

(CALL AN AMBULANCE! HELP!)


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 1, 2011)

lol............


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2011)

My Top 12 Favorite Movies of 2010 list: *Read all but the last two Extras on this page

Shockingly, the #1 spot isn't even something I reviewed.


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 5, 2011)

heh...friend of mine introduced me to the RZA via twitter.  she recently worked with him on the set of "Man with the Iron Fists" in china.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2011)

cool! Thats gotta be interesting!


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 7, 2011)

*Tekken(2010)* - A young man enters a tournament to avenge his Mother and bring down and evil corporation. If you're a Tekken fan, like me, you will be FURIOUS with its complete raping of the source material, changing all the characters and somehow making the story more generic. If you're not a Tekken movie, you will just see it as a below average action film. Much to my joy, it hasnt been released in the U.S yet so I feel like I'm one of the first Americans to see it. STRONGchelmist

1/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 11, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> cool! Thats gotta be interesting!



It's okay, i guess...
she starred in this hong kong flick with Wu Jing that I never saw.  Legendary Assassin, wasn't it?  Her name's Celina Jade.  really nice girl.  really smart and full of wisdom.  Celina introduced me to the RZA but RZA hasn't given any reply yet.  i was hoping he would have a copy of this old movie that my grandpa produced many years ago.  always wanted to see "the big boss, part 2".


----------



## Ae (Feb 12, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> it suggests that she was either born in Mexico or her parents were.



Maybe it's not Mexico but Spain o.o;


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 12, 2011)

Tin: I think I have Legendary Assassin on my netflix list....

Master:Which review was that?

*The Eagle(2011)*: A Roman and a Britain team up to find the lost 9th Legion of Rome in 120AD. Decent script is ruined by surprisingly weak direction. here.

2/4


----------



## Ae (Feb 12, 2011)

I was talking about Jessica Alba from the movie Machete.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 13, 2011)

ah, good point.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2011)

*Lady Snowblood 2: Love Song of Vengeance(1974)* - Lady Snowblood herself strikes a deal with a law to spy on an anarchist, but begins to like the guy and will have to draw her sword to spill some blood......in the snow......once again. Pretty good sequel thats only real drawback is that its not quite as good as the original. this happens in the first two minutes.

2.5/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 17, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> Tin: I think I have Legendary Assassin on my netflix list....



I have it on DVD somewhere.  Just never spent the time to watch it.  But my friend Celina is the leading lady in this flick.  Haven't heard from her for the past week.  Time to check twitter if she replied back.  I've actually asked her to ask RZA if he has a copy of "The Big Boss, Part 2".  I know it sucks but my grandpa was one of the producers/planners of this movie and he produced the soundtrack (which I have multiple copies of on CD and vinyl record).  And since I've been told alot about this movie throughout my entire childhood, my curiosity is kinda peaked.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 17, 2011)

lol, I presume its meant to be a sequel to the Bruce Lee movie? That would be interesting.


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 18, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, I presume its meant to be a sequel to the Bruce Lee movie? That would be interesting.



Yeah, it's one of those Bruce-ploitation flicks, so to speak.  Lo Lieh and Chan Wai-Man (he played the role of rival triad boss leader Camel in "Young and Dangerous 3") star in it.  Yuen Cheong-Yan choreographed the fights.  My uncle once told me that my grandpa has worked with Chan Wai-Man on different film productions several times.

I've always thought my late grandpa was bluffing when he said he knew Yuen Wo-Ping and his brothers.  He didn't exactly have nice things to say about Yuen Wo-Ping.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2011)

cool!
*
Fighter(2007)* - A Turkish girl with a strict Muslim upbringing joins a kung fu against her parents wishes and has to keep it a secret. Obviously this is a challenge in itself. It's a drama in the same sense that "The Karate Kid" was in that it's not a martial arts movie as much as its a drama where martial arts is a key point of the plot. So don't expect any more action than "The Karate Kid remake" had, although the kung fu is noticeably good. It's a Danish film, so expect subtitles. Link removed

3/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Feb 23, 2011)

Avoid Donnie Yen's new "All's Well Ends Well 2011" if you're expecting Donnie to kick ass on the screen cuz he does not do it here.  In fact, he doesn't even fight.  It's a Lunar New Year comedy flick.  However, you might get a good laugh from seeing Louis Koo's rendition of "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" (with lyrics altered from the Cantonese dub of "South Park", of course).


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2011)

Alright. Chinese comedies scare me anyway........


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 1, 2011)

*Shinobi: Heart Under Blade(2005)* - Two rival clans are forced to fight to the death, which complicates things for Gennosuke and Oboro, heirs to both of their clans who happen to be in love. It does offer nice cinematography, but the characterizations and action sequences are lacking. Based off the novel which inspired "Basilisk". Faster

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2011)

*The Challenge(1982)* - Scott Glenn stars as a low rent boxer who is hired to sneak an antique sword into Japan, but finds himself caught between a Sensei(played by the awesome Toshiro Mifune) and his Yakuza brother. Familiar story given conventional treatment. This movie is actually very hard to find, having never been re-released since its initial VHS release. I saw a copy go for $2,500 once. It's also directed by John Frankenheimer. Faster

2/4


----------



## Kenpachi_Uchiha (Mar 4, 2011)

Alien vs Ninja...avoid it if you can.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 8, 2011)

lol, I can't.

*Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief(2010)* - A boy finds out he's the son of Poseidon and has to rescue his Mother from Hades while stopping a potential war. Inept. David Faustino VO Demo

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 15, 2011)

*Marked for Death(1990)* - Steven Seagal stars as a DEA agent who just wants to retire and spend time with his niece, but when Jamaican drug cartels cross him, he has to kick some ass. Pretty mediocre action film, but Seagal is in fine form. 16 Year old Toph

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 21, 2011)

*Dragon Inn(1992)* - Noble Warriors flee from a dangerous Warlord(Eunich) into the desert and become trapped at an inn with bandits and the Warlords Agents. The deadly game of cat-and-mouse begins at all sides. The all star cast includes Tony Leung, Brigitte Lin, Maggie Cheung, and Donnie Yen(as the villain). It was also produced by Tsui Hark and at least co-directed by him. It's one of the better examples of the genre for the 90's.....but Hong Kong cinema in the 90's was pretty messed up...Read.

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2011)

*The Bushido Blade(1979) *- Japan and the U.S are about to make an alliance which will bring Japan into the real world(based off a real event), but when a sacred blade that was meant to be a gift to the President is stolen, a samurai and a soldier have to find it(not based off a real event). The all-star cast includes Toshiro Mifune, Sonny Chiba, Tetsuro Tamba, Mako, James Earl Jones, Richard Boone and Frank Converse......but the acting is pretty phoned in and sometimes it's downright awful. When it's in samurai mode, it's fine, but it also tries to be "Hollywood"-ish, and when it does this, it fails. In the end, it just reminded me of better films. Ursca Wallpaper

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2011)

*Sucker Punch(2011)* - A girl in a mental institution creates her own 'worlds' in order to escape. Confusing, messy, incoherent and with no concept of narrative. Even the massive action sequences and visuals did nothing for me. Did Zack Snyder jump the shark? Ursca Wallpaper

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2011)

*The Octagon(1980)* - Chuck Norris plays a white ninja who has long since retired from the arts but has to revert to his old ways when his Asian brother betrays the code and trains ninja terrorists. In the 80's, this was a pretty big deal as 'ninja' were still exotic and the fights were top notch for an American production. It doesn't age well, but Norris fans should be pleased. artists

2/4


----------



## masamune1 (Mar 30, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Marked for Death(1990)* - Steven Seagal stars as a DEA agent who just wants to retire and spend time with his niece, but when Jamaican drug cartels cross him, he has to kick some ass. Pretty mediocre action film, but Seagal is in fine form. artists
> 
> 2.5/4



I just bought three Seagal films over the internet, and this one of them.


*Spoiler*: __ 




I think its more or less implied that Screwface, or at least the first Screwface, really is into Voodoo and might have some magic. When that girl in the Jamaican club tells Hatcher Screface "has two heads and four eyes" it cuts immediately to a scene with him doing some Voodoo stuff (well, Houdoo, technically) and he seems to know that Hatcher has come. 

So, he wasn't really just a man, its just that he exaggerated his magic with help from his brother (and if we got more of that beyond a brief scene in his intro and the very last fight, that they are twins might even have mattered).

I also don't agree with all that you said about all of the subplots, extra characters, and the lengthy cold open (with a debuting Danny Trejo- that alone should get it points). Personally I liked all of that, since I think it added to the depth of the story and gave it a slightly more realistic bent. Granted, we probably should have gotten a bit more of them, and Hatchers partners should have had more to do, but overall I think they added to the story, especially given that the film overall is not exactly long.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2011)

Fair enough!

What were the other two? I just bought as a gag gift for my Mother, Out for Justice, On Deadly Ground and that fire one(cant remember its name).........bwahahahaha.


----------



## masamune1 (Mar 30, 2011)

_Nico_, which came with _Marked for Death,_ and _Hard to Kill_ which arrived just today.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2011)

Nico....................haven't seen that one. "Hard to Kill" I remember being decent(I'd probably rate it 2.5/4 stars too; another typical Seagal vehicle).

Edit: Whoops, just saw "Nico" is "Above the Law"(which I also reviewed), which is also decent.


----------



## masamune1 (Mar 30, 2011)

Yeah...._Nico_ is just what _Above the Law_ is called in Britain.

I've seen all three of them now, and I'd have to say that that one was the best, or at least it had the best story, though it had a bit of a sudden climax. _Hard to Kill_ was a bit of a let down mostly because it wasn't the type of film I was expecting (a Revenge film _a la_ _Kill Bill-_ which is suspiciously similarin premise). It wasn't _bad_, but but it was more about about Seagal trying to stay alive until the end (guess the clue was in the title). 

I enjoyed them, I guess, but.....Well, I'm glad they were cheap.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 31, 2011)

lol, well that's Seagal for you.

His best was probably Under Siege.

His worst will cause you nightmares....


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 8, 2011)

*G.I Samurai(1979)* - Sonny Chiba stars as a Lt. of a group of commandos who are thrown back in time into the warring states period, where bloodthirsty samurai rule the lands. They must survive and eventually choose sides. The film has plenty of spectacular action sequences, stunning photography, and good character development.......But ugh, it's way too long and the music is distracting. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2011)

*The Magic Blade(1976)* - Two swordmasters who are also rivals must team up in order to stop an enigmatic master from getting a mystical and destructive weapon. Lots of fight scenes, unique situations, top notch production values and sophisticated direction make this one of the better kung fu films of the time. 29.07. SKRILLEX (USA) to play in Finland! @ The Circus, Helsinki

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 21, 2011)

*Ong Bak 3(2010)* - The protagonist of the previous film is beaten, tortured and crippled. He's rescued and must train to strengthen his broken body so he can bring down a new warlord. While the action scenes make the movie tolerable, the film relies too much on bad melodrama and a messy screenplay. Tony Jaa is amazing when it comes to fight scenes, but when it comes to writing, directing or acting.....ouch. For die hard fans only. here.

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 3, 2011)

*The Killing Machine(2010)* - Dolph Lundgren stars as a mob Hit-man whose family life is crumbling. However, things become even more complicated when he's betrayed and now has to take out whoever is trying to kill him and his family. Typical Direct-to-DVD actioner that would've been a lot more entertaining if it weren't for an awkward 'falling back in love again' subplot with his ex-wife or the annoying daughter. Also known as "Icarus". now i want android.

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 5, 2011)

*The Good, the Bad and the Weird(2008)* - A bandit and a bounty hunter team up to find buried treasure, and find themselves chased by a sadistic gunslinger, bandits and the army. It is a lean, fast pace with plenty of ambitious gunfights, explosions and even a few slick knife fights. It's fun as hell, but does draw too many comparisons to Sergio Leone's "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". now i want android.

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 7, 2011)

*Thor(2011)* - The god of Thunder is banished from the Kingdom of Gods and forced to live as a mortal. As he tries to regain his god-hood, his enemies conspire against him. It's good, but not great due to a poorly realized love story and character development. But once cannot deny the film packed some amazing visuals. SM female trainess

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 9, 2011)

*The Way of the Dragon(1972*) - Bruce Lee stars as a country boy from China sent to Rome to help out his relatives protect their restaurant from a bunch of local thugs. While the fights are a little dated, they look surprisingly authentic for the time. But what impressed me the most was how funny it was....Even the films gaffs made me laugh. The final fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris though is freaking amazing and is worth watching for that alone. My 2nd favorite Bruce Lee movie(behind "Enter the Dragon") SM female trainess

3.5/4


----------



## masamune1 (May 9, 2011)

_Way of the Dragon...._Haven't seen that in ages.

I don't know where you are getting the idea that it is underrated or doesn't get enough mention from, though; I've known about that film for s long as I can remember (probably helps that it the _other_ Lee film with _Dragon_ in the name), and I'm damn sure that anyone who knows Chuck Norris knows that he once fought Bruce Lee. I always thought this was one of his _best_ known films.

Oh, and on _Fist of Fury...._I will kick you. For what you said, I will kick you hard.


----------



## Pseudo (May 9, 2011)

I given up hope on Martial Arts films. I hope this thread will renew my love for the Genre.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 9, 2011)

masamune1 said:


> _Way of the Dragon...._Haven't seen that in ages.
> 
> I don't know where you are getting the idea that it is underrated or doesn't get enough mention from, though; I've known about that film for s long as I can remember (probably helps that it the _other_ Lee film with _Dragon_ in the name), and I'm damn sure that anyone who knows Chuck Norris knows that he once fought Bruce Lee. I always thought this was one of his _best_ known films.
> 
> Oh, and on _Fist of Fury...._I will kick you. For what you said, I will kick you hard.



I always hear of all of them except "Way" and "Big Boss"(although I can see why Big Boss would get overlooked a lot.....or maybe it doesn't since the title is often mixed with Fist of Fury).....I even hear a lot about Game of Death.

I think it's mainly because of its status. 
Enter the Dragon: The Most iconic
Fist of Fury: Considered by many(maybe even most) to be his best
Game of Death: Because it was completed after his death.

Believe it or not, I know many people who are Chuck Norris fans who always express surprise when I bring up the movie. I think most supposed Norris fans dont recognize him because of his lack of beard.

Lol, I do like Fist of Fury, I just dont think it's great. Part of the problem is that the karate doesn't look much like actual karate in a lot of the scenes. But mainly because I'm always uncomfortable with 'hate' movies, whether it's directed at Japan or anyone else. 

Although it was worse with "Yip Man", only because at least "Fist of Fury" was made not too long after Japan did so much against China.


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## masamune1 (May 12, 2011)

I have just started watching _Showdown in Little Tokyo_ (missed the first 30 minutes) and I am shocked and appaled that you do not seem to have done a review.

And yes, that is a request.

*EDIT-* Oh, and _Fist of Fury is_ his greatest. Make no mistake on that.


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## MartialHorror (May 12, 2011)

I have done a review.... The Blair Witch Project - 4/4


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## masamune1 (May 12, 2011)

Well........I didn't see it.


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## MartialHorror (May 12, 2011)

wow........that review has a lot of hits for a non-theatrical release........


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## masamune1 (May 12, 2011)

I find it all pretty embarassing.

I remember I've already read it.

Two or three times.

My bad.


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## MartialHorror (May 14, 2011)

lol....

*Priest(2011) *- In the future where vampires exist and there are warrior Priests to combat them, the peace is shaken between the two sides when a former Priest-turned-evil kidnaps a disbanded Priests niece. For a movie with so much potential, very little seems to happen.....Still, the film looks good and it's marginally entertaining. I liked the good about as much as I disliked the bad, so they cancelled each other out. have a history

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2011)

*I Saw the Devil(2010)* - A secret agent with mad skills hunts down a serial killer who murdered his pregnant fiance. On it's head, it's just another vigilante movie.....However, it makes explicit what movies like "Dirty Harry" only implied and is so brutal that I found it hard not to be effected. The killer was scary and the agent was scary, but I feared the movie for it was that damn cruel. Not for the squeamish. Rules of the Ponynet

4/4


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## MartialHorror (May 21, 2011)

*Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides(2011)* - Captain Jack Sparrow returns to find the fountain of youth. Too much seems crammed into this movie, yet not much seems to happen. Everything feels phoned in and mediocre compared to the faulty-but-vibrant original trilogy. The weakest of the franchise, but it has its moments. Kramers Ergot 8!

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 24, 2011)

*The Warlords(2007)* - A defeated General(Jet Li) convinces two bandit brothers to join the army so they can end the Taiping rebellion. They all have a blood oath and win many battles together, but soon their oath is tested. Well written and developed characters litter the story, played by actors who are top notch. The cinematography is stunning, yet chilling. The action scenes are gritty, visceral and incredibly unique too. It's a fascinating film and a nice contrast to the "Red Cliff" movies. Kramers Ergot 8!

4/4


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## CrazyMoronX (May 24, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *I Saw the Devil(2010)* - A secret agent with mad skills hunts down a serial killer who murdered his pregnant fiance. On it's head, it's just another vigilante movie.....However, it makes explicit what movies like "Dirty Harry" only implied and is so brutal that I found it hard not to be effected. The killer was scary and the agent was scary, but I feared the movie for it was that damn cruel. Not for the squeamish. Kramers Ergot 8!
> 
> 4/4



Awesome movie. It kept proving what I had expected it to be wrong when he starts tracking down the killer. I thought it'd be some generic kind of Korean whackjob movie, but it was something totally different.


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## MartialHorror (May 31, 2011)

yup.

*Zatoichi's Revenge(1965)* - Blind swordsman Ichi decides to visit the man who taught him how to massage, but discovers that he has been killed and his daughter sold into prostitution. Ichi himself actually seems to develop, learning to enjoy the little things in life while becoming more and more disgusted with the evil he's forced to endure. Beyond that, some nice comic relief and a few spaghetti western touches, nothing else really sticks out about the film. Your typical 'good' Zatoichi film. I saw the title of some forum thread on akp and clicked it

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2011)

*X-Men: First Class(2011)* - A prequel of the original trilogy, focusing on Magneto and Professor X meeting and teaming up to bring down a sadistic and cruel mutant. It focuses more on the (main two) characters and successfully brings back the charm that the first two movies had. The action is good too, with solid visual effects. Possibly my favorite movie of 2011. Also

3.5/4


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## masamune1 (Jun 4, 2011)

> So the film dazzles us and appeals to our emotions, but does it challenge us? I think so. The film is subtle in some ways yet heavy handed in others. *“X-Men” has always been a metaphor for homosexuality*, although last time I checked I’ve yet to see a group of homosexual radicals trying to wipe out heterosexuals.....



.....

In the movies.

And even then, only so much.



> When Erik has his epiphany that will turn him into Magneto, he never seems to realize that he’s doing EXACTLY what the Nazi’s did to him. I often wonder how he would react if Mutants did wipe out humanity. Would he be shocked when the mutants go to war with eachother over religion, race, land, politics, whatever?



Well, thats easy enough to answer. Erik _wants_ to be a Nazi. He might not realise it or think in such terms, but he wants to be the guy on the other side, the guy holding the gun, and he wants the Nazi's to be the ones digging their own graves, or dying for being inferior. But the Nazi's are dead, and he is still seething with hatred and rage, so the transfer of that anger from Nazi's to humans is a fairly natural step- epecially if they keep confirming his prejudices-, and he probably appreciates the irony that _he_ is a member of a master race. 

However he tries to dress it up, Magneto is motivated by revenge. Thats what differs him from someon like Shaw, who simply thought he was better than everyone and can do whatever the hell he wanted. Magneto has more of a persecution complex of sorts, in that being hunted and persecuted is pretty much part of his sense of self- if he's not allowed to be angry , resentful, at war with the world, he doesn't really exist.



> Yet what bugged me the most was how this film completely breaks the continuity of the previous films(wasn’t Frost a kid when we last saw her which was like……20 years after this movie?). It establishes relationships that are never even touched upon in the other films(Mystique and Xavier/Beast) and I have no idea when the opening of “X-Men 3” fits into here.



Emma Frost wasn't in _Origins: Wolverine._ She was _going_ to be, and shes named in trailers and ads and stuff, but in the movie the character is only named Emma and, despite one similar power, has a totally different backstory. They are different characters, and can be treated as such.

The opening of _X3_ might be discontinued, since Vaughn apparently said he was going to be a little loose with it (though in the comics, Xaier and Magneto always fall out and team back up again, and there is 30-40 years for that to happen here (same with Xavier losing and regaining his legs). Or, it could have happened when they were meeting all the other mutants (the school thing could have been a ruse, and/ or they could have done it after they moved to the mansion). 

As for Mystique, that didn't bother me that much, since she, for her part at least, likes to keep her past quiet- she never mentioned in _X2_ that she is Nightcrawlers' mother, but thats what she is in the comics and that is the sole reason Azazel is brought in here. Beast never really got much interaction with her in _X3_, and their romance is kind of brief and they both had 40 years to get over it. Xavier is a little less forgivable, but again, they don't interact much maybe they just don't like to talk about it.

Yeah, its all a bit of an asspull, but it more or less fits in its own way.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2011)

> In the movies.
> 
> And even then, only so much



Yeah that was a little bold, as Im not familiar with comics/cartoons at all.



> Well, thats easy enough to answer. Erik wants to be a Nazi. He might not realise it or think in such terms, but he wants to be the guy on the other side, the guy holding the gun, and he wants the Nazi's to be the ones digging their own graves, or dying for being inferior. But the Nazi's are dead, and he is still seething with hatred and rage, so the transfer of that anger from Nazi's to humans is a fairly natural step- epecially if they keep confirming his prejudices-, and he probably appreciates the irony that he is a member of a master race.
> 
> However he tries to dress it up, Magneto is motivated by revenge. Thats what differs him from someon like Shaw, who simply thought he was better than everyone and can do whatever the hell he wanted. Magneto has more of a persecution complex of sorts, in that being hunted and persecuted is pretty much part of his sense of self- if he's not allowed to be angry , resentful, at war with the world, he doesn't really exist.



Yup.


> Emma Frost wasn't in Origins: Wolverine. She was going to be, and shes named in trailers and ads and stuff, but in the movie the character is only named Emma and, despite one similar power, has a totally different backstory. They are different characters, and can be treated as such.
> 
> The opening of X3 might be discontinued, since Vaughn apparently said he was going to be a little loose with it (though in the comics, Xaier and Magneto always fall out and team back up again, and there is 30-40 years for that to happen here (same with Xavier losing and regaining his legs). Or, it could have happened when they were meeting all the other mutants (the school thing could have been a ruse, and/ or they could have done it after they moved to the mansion).
> 
> ...



1) Oh? So same name, similar power and similar character design? I guess thats fine, but it is obvious that Origins intended for that to be the real Emma.

2) Except the opening of X3 takes place in the 80's. The only explanation is they joined up again later on. 

But bleh, it's really no big deal anyway. Prequels always seem to have these kinds of issues.


----------



## masamune1 (Jun 4, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> 1) Oh? So same name, similar power and similar character design? I guess thats fine, but it is obvious that Origins intended for that to be the real Emma.



It was _going_ to be Emma Frost, but they changed their minds and decided to keep it vague, probably because she was such a different character. So both can exist without contradicting each other.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2011)

groovy.,,,,


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## MartialHorror (Jun 7, 2011)

*Come Drink With Me(1966)* - The daughter of the resident Governor happens to be a kung fu badass, and she intends on tracking down the gang who is currently holding her brother hostage. While it has a weird script and the fight scenes have dated(still good for the 60's though), the film is a staple in the genre. Yet more impressively for me, the film is stunningly well made in the technical department. I couldn't get enough of just looking at it. It is a kung fu classic, but pay more attention to the cinematography/direction more than the fight scenes. Also

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2011)

*Green Lantern (2011)* - A cocky, lazy, uninspired pilot is chosen to be a Green Lantern(guardian of the universe) by a mystical ring that allows him to create anything he wants from his mind. He must put his powers to the test when an evil entity that feeds off of peoples fear threatens to consume his world. It's successful as eye candy, full of vibrant colors and bombastic visual effects. But if you want a good script, watch "X Men: First Class" instead. Google told me so

2.5/4


----------



## Hellrasinbrasin (Jun 19, 2011)

I knew Green Lantern was going to be a Lemon... Reynolds is not an action movie actor type and Green Lantern is an scifi action film...


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 23, 2011)

*Centurion (2010)* - Michael Fassbender(X Men: First Class) stars as a Roman Centurion who joins the (now legendary) 9th Legion of Rome as they invade Britannia. When the legion is lost, our hero must lead the survivors to safety and avoid the bloodthirsty Picts. It's pretty much a constant chase scene and everything is notably intense. If you just want non-stop action, then this one is a success. Directed by Neil Marshall("The Descent").  loveable but pussy ass dog

3/4


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## Banhammer (Jun 24, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah that was a little bold, as Im not familiar with comics/cartoons at all.


It's for oppressed people. It was a transitioning between jews black people and it borrows from the gays too, but all and all, it's all the bullied beat up kids the x-men attune themselves to.


> 1) Oh? So same name, similar power and similar character design? I guess thats fine, but it is obvious that Origins intended for that to be the real Emma.


Maybe they were Emma's daughters. It would explain how weapon X had access to them (at some point emma is kidnaped and weapon x extracts her eggs makes a lot emma frost-lites)


> 2) Except the opening of X3 takes place in the 80's. The only explanation is they joined up again later on.


I like to think that. Charles and Erik's friendship is my single favorite point in the entire series


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## MartialHorror (Jun 26, 2011)

*They Live (1988)* - Roddy Piper stars as a man struggling for work in the late 80's. He happens to come across a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see that aliens have taken over the world. It's time to kick ass. It's part action- serious and camp-, part horror and part drama. The problem is that it dabbles in these genres one at a time, making for a bi-polar tone. Nevertheless, it has its charm and has become a cult classic. Directed by John Carpenter. Running man 46 with Kim Hyun Joong if anyone is bored , not by Isubs but just as good

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2011)

*A Woman, a Gun and a Noodle Shop (2009)* - Zhang Yimou("Hero"/"Curse of the Golden Flower) directs this remake of the Coen Brothers' "Blood Simple", a taught and edgy thriller. He replaces its dark, bleak look with bright, beautiful, vibrant landscapes and it's nuanced, believable characters with amusing, silly, 'theatrical' characters. It's been stripped of its thriller-ness and it's not a martial arts films. So why the hell am I reviewing it? Er, because....shut up! Come To Play

2.5/4


----------



## Geogeo (Jul 2, 2011)

Have you reviewed Drunken Master II (known as The Legend of Drunken Master in North America)? If so I would like to request it. Sorry if you don't usually take requests.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 3, 2011)

Nope and of course! I do take requests. I'll add it to the list.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 4, 2011)

*Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)* - The Decepticons and Autobots continue their battle as the Decepticons learn how to bring a whole army of robots to Earth while Sam (the human hero) looks for a job and complains. It's a mess, being way too long with so much pointless crap that dominates more of the movie than the good stuff (which is very good). Link removed

2/4


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## tinlunlau (Jul 6, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Warlords(2007)* - A defeated General(Jet Li) convinces two bandit brothers to join the army so they can end the Taiping rebellion. They all have a blood oath and win many battles together, but soon their oath is tested. Well written and developed characters litter the story, played by actors who are top notch. The cinematography is stunning, yet chilling. The action scenes are gritty, visceral and incredibly unique too. It's a fascinating film and a nice contrast to the "Red Cliff" movies. Link removed
> 
> 4/4



I actually got to see this in the theatre during my 5 week stay in Hong Kong back in 2007.  If memory serves me right, it came out December 17th, 2007.  If I'm wrong, it's actually on the exact same week as the release of "I Am Legend".  Cuz I remember struggling on which of the two I should watch in the theatre since they were released on that same Thursday.  (In Hong Kong, theatrical releases tend to come out on Thursdays instead of the usual Wednesdays and Fridays.)

I ended up watching The Warlords on opening night, then "I Am Legend" on Friday.  I liked the movie, though.  I remember coming out of the Plaza Hollywood Golden Harvest theatre, just wanting to smash the wall.  It's really emotionally engaging!  Jet Li deserved that best actor win.  No doubt about it.

In fact, the reason why I winded up with a 5 week stay in Hong Kong was because I was actually waiting to see "The Warlords".  I was originally scheduled to leave before the film came out so I extended my stay just to watch this movie on the big screen.  I still remember the huge hype behind this movie in Hong Kong.  Advertisements plastered everywhere.  Subways, malls, restaurants, buses, and TV spots for the film was even playing while I was taking a shit.  I'm not exagerrating one bit!


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## MartialHorror (Jul 6, 2011)

Wow, that sounds epic.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2011)

*Azumi (2003)* - Assassins question their resolve in killing all of the warlords who threaten to start another war and find themselves hunted by a sadistic assassin themselves. It's a pretty good samurai/ninja epic, filled with slick action sequences, stylized violence and lush photography. It feels like an anime at times, and is apparently based on a manga. Director Ryuhei Kitamura's style-over-substance approach works, but the drama takes away from the action and is too underdeveloped for it to have any real effect. It's a minor point, but keeps the film from being great. Still, as least it is very good. Source

3/4


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## Wolfgang Grimmer (Jul 10, 2011)

Do you have any Donnie Yen movie reviews?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2011)

Yes, just to list some of them.

Yip Man, Yip Man 2, Flash Point, Blade 2, Dragon Inn........Im sure there are more, but I can't think of anyway. You can check Source in the martial arts section to read them.


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## masamune1 (Jul 11, 2011)

I just got _Dragon From Russia_ and _Blood Brothers_ on DVD as a gift (_Fist of Fury_ too, but I already had that). Well, not a _gift;_ the owner didn't want them, and he said the first one was absolutely crap. But I get the impression he wasn't really that into martial art films to begin with.

Have you seen either of them?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2011)

1) Dragon From Russia: No, but I've heard its okay. I do have the tendency to look upon 90's kung fu films with suspicion though.

2) Blood Brothers: Isn't every other kung fu movie called Blood Brothers? Lol.


----------



## masamune1 (Jul 11, 2011)

This one is from 1975. 

Its was non-remade as _The Warlords._


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2011)

Ah, no, but Warlords was awesome so I have hope for it.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2011)

*Drunken Master (1978)* - A kung fu film with personality! Jackie Chan plays an arrogant punk who happens to have good kung fu skills but when he upsets his Father, he's forced to train with his crazy drunken uncle. There always seems to be some sort of kung fu flashing up on the screen and it's all amazingly well choreographed and diverse. The humorous touches make everything significantly cooler. One of my favorite Jackie Chan movies! Source

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2011)

*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011)* - Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts where the final battle with the evil wizard Voldemort is to take place. It's pretty entertaining and fans should be pleased, but ot takes for granted that we've read the book and barely develops.....anything....Decent, but two steps back from its brilliant predecessor. Source

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 21, 2011)

*Black Dynamite (2009)* - Michael Jai White stars as Black Dynamite: Perfect fighter, perfect lover, perfect hero. He must clean the streets of drugs, take down the man and avenge his brother in one movie. The film is a parody of Blaxploitation films that I probably would've avoided if it wasn't for White (who is an amazing martial artist)...and yes....I'm currently laughing at the irony that I watched a blaxploitation spoof because of White. I didn't understand most of the jokes because I'm not familiar with the genre, but it does have plenty of stand-out moments. 

2.5/4


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## Vault (Jul 21, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Drunken Master (1978)* - A kung fu film with personality! Jackie Chan plays an arrogant punk who happens to have good kung fu skills but when he upsets his Father, he's forced to train with his crazy drunken uncle. There always seems to be some sort of kung fu flashing up on the screen and it's all amazingly well choreographed and diverse. The humorous touches make everything significantly cooler. One of my favorite Jackie Chan movies! Link removed
> 
> 3.5/4



You might like Fearless Hyena and Snakes in the eagle's shadow then


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## MartialHorror (Jul 21, 2011)

Vault said:


> You might like Fearless Hyena and Snakes in the eagle's shadow then



I've seen the 2nd one and yes I remember it being good. I've yet to see Fearless Hyena though.


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## Vault (Jul 22, 2011)

There is a third snake's in the eagle's shadow but its horrible the 1st and 2nd were good. The second had a good ending by kung fu standards i thought. 

Fearless hyena is funny but then it shows Jackie at the height of his physical powers.


----------



## Taleran (Jul 22, 2011)

Have you seen Exiled Martial? It should be right up your wheel house.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2011)

Nope, but I'll look into them.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2011)

*Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)* - A scrawny man wants to enlist in the military during World War 2, only to be rejected because of his build and stamina. His courage and compassion, however, means he's considered to be part of a super soldier program. It works and he becomes America's first Super Soldier and his mission to to take on renegade Nazi's. It's decent......Not especially good or bad, but decent. The "Re-Blog if you don't like the Reboot" on Tumblr is up to 2.3 million reblogs now

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2011)

*Cowboys & Aliens (2011)* - In the old wild, wild west days, A man wakes up with no memory and a mysterious contraption on his arm. He soon finds himself having to help save the world from Aliens. It starts off great but as time goes on, it becomes more and more generic. Bye bye Bats

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2011)

*Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)* - A prequel to either the 1968 classic or the 2001.....not classic, this film deals with how the apes became smart enough to overthrow humanity as the dominant species. The film is a drama and it is an effective one. Yet its use of suspense and action is incredibly well done as well. It's not perfect, but it is very good. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2011)

*Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen (2010)* - Donnie Yen stars in this bloated epic that is directed by Andrew Lau ("Infernal Affairs", "Storm Riders"). Yen plays an agent in Shanghai who spies on and beats up Japanese people in World War 2. The story has too many pointless subplots and isn't sure what exactly it wants to be, having elements of being a political thriller, a costumed hero picture, a martial arts film or a drama. Yet the film is gorgeous to look at due to some excellent cinematography, the acting is strong and the fight scenes (while flawed) are good. It's just really an uneven movie. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 18, 2011)

*Billy Jack (1971)* - Billy Jack is a half breed, native american, martial artist who defends other native Americans from bigotry and injustice......While there is one good scene of martial arts, the rest is boring, pretentious hippie crap. 

2/4 Stars


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## Superrazien (Aug 18, 2011)

I just watched 13 Assassins last night, and aside from the dude messing up some subtitles the movie was fracking amazing. Go see it everyone.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2011)

*Conan the Barbarian (2011)* - A barbarian must save the world from a mad warlord who wishes to use ancient, evil powers to resurrect his wife....who I guess will then destroy the world....or something. It does earn it's hard R rating with lots of tits and violence, and it moves like it can't wait to end but.......it moves like it can't wait to end. Sometimes it's nice to slow down and let US enjoy the ride. 

2.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 22, 2011)

You had me at "lots of tits".


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## gumby2ms (Aug 22, 2011)

lots of tits in 3D. 
though I agree 15 minutes could have saved the movie.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2011)

*Samurai Spy (1965)* - A spy tries to find and protect a defector from the Tokugawa Government, while a lot of confusing and convoluted shit happens. The film is kind of like a samurai film noir, and it is very avant-garde in his experimental camera work (which wouldn't be a big deal in Japan until a few years later). But the fight scenes kinda suck and I was often loss. It is still worth watching if you're a veteran of the genre because you can see how unique it is compared to most and the constant dropping of names won't throw you off as much. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2011)

*Fear City (1984)* - An ex-boxer hunts down a serial killer who uses martial arts on strippers. It's a sleazy, edgy, New York city drama that wears its premise well. But it is pretty uneven. It has solid characters and good actors, but it also has many unintentionally funny moments. While the fight scenes aren't bad, the kata scenes are embarrassing. The suspense is good, but they are under absurd situations. But honestly, Im much too in love with the premise to care. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 19, 2011)

*Drunken Master II (1994)* - Also known as "The Legend of Drunken Master" in the west, this film stars Jackie Chan as young trouble-maker Wong Fei-hung who has to grow up and master his drunken boxing stance when his family is dragged into a conspiracy. By the 1990's, kung fu films were pretty much dead, so Jackie went out of his way to make arguably the best kung fu film yet! The choreography is superb, showcasing some amazing techniques and the fight scenes never really stop. But it also has very interesting characters, with Jackie delivering one of his best performances. 

4/4


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## Violent by Design (Sep 19, 2011)

I haven't seen the sequel to Drunken Master.  Sounds hot.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 19, 2011)

Violent By Design said:


> I haven't seen the sequel to Drunken Master.  Sounds hot.



.................

*SPANKS* GO OUT RIGHT NOW AND WATCH IT YOUNG MAN!


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## Violent by Design (Sep 19, 2011)

A lot of 2.5s on this page, not sure if that is a good thing.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 19, 2011)

I've had some bad luck recently with watching uneven or mediocre movies, lol.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 21, 2011)

*Raging Phoenix (2009)* - Another 2.5/4 Star movie! Yanin Vismistananda (chick from "Chocolate" (2008)) stars as a girl who learns drunken Muy Thai after nearly being abducted by sex traffickers. "Raging Phoenix" does for her what "The Protector" does for Tony Jaa. For what it is, it's serviceable but lacks the punch that her breakthrough film had. The fights are good, but not as good as the ones found in "Chocolate" and the humor is a bit jarring. Epic final battle though! 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2011)

*Opium and the Kung Fu Master (1984)* - Ti Lung (known most probably as the Father from "Drunken Master 2", he used to be an A-list kung fu star) stars as a kung fu master whose addiction to opium makes him weak. When his whole town begins to crumble because of it, he must kick his addiction and defeat the man who brought the drug into the town to begin with. Creative story benefits from being one of the few kung fu films that has the teacher go through extensive character development. Furthermore, the direction is surprisingly experimental and interesting for this kind of movie. But make no mistake, the kung fu choreography is top notch and the fights happen quite often. 

3.5/4


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## Vault (Sep 25, 2011)

Opium and the master I thought was absolutely excellent. Especially when his student died. Instead of finding resolve straight away it was actually realistic in that he still had to fight his addictand it wasn't easy either.


----------



## Ronin0510 (Sep 27, 2011)

Are you going to review 13 Assassins? As was stated by superraizen,.it is a great that movie martial arts movie fans should watch!


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2011)

Vault: Yup, its one of the fu kung fu films of the time where the 'master' is forced to develop like anyone else instead of being near perfect.

Ronin: As a matter of fact, I plan on watching it over the weekend.


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## Ronin0510 (Sep 28, 2011)

good to hear. i think you'll enjoy it.


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## Taleran (Sep 28, 2011)

Man I love that my most anticipated film left to see this year is a straight up action martial arts film, especially after all the praise it got at TIFF


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## MartialHorror (Sep 28, 2011)

That is a pretty epic looking trailer.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 3, 2011)

THE FOLLOWING REVIEW HAS BEEN RE-WRITTEN AND RE-UPLOADED. 

*13 Assassins (2010) *- My favorite director, Takashi Miike, directs this samurai epic about 13 Ronin who plot to wipe out a sadistic Lord and his private army. Miike's best mainstream movie to date, having everything one would want from an epic samurai film (including a 45 minute long battle at the end). But those special Miike touches gives the film its own personality. It's not for the squeamish or the impatient, however, as it's pretty sadistic and waits until the second half before the action takes effect. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 6, 2011)

*Born to Raise Hell (2010)* - Steven Seagal stars as an agent in Romania who's tracking down a sadistic gangster. After having a few decent movies (A Dangerous Man/Machete) and a (apparently) successful TV show, Seagal is back to making subpar, bland-as-hell movies with moments of badness. I'm honestly getting sick of them. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 10, 2011)

*Little Big Soldier (2010)* - Jackie Chan stars as a lowly soldier in the Warring States period of China, who fakes death in an epic battle. He wakes up to see that the only survivor of the battle was the (wounded) enemy General. He captures the general with the intent of turning him for a reward, but it's not going to be easy. The film blends drama, comedy, action and adventure smoothly and Jackie's performance is stunning. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 12, 2011)

*Blood of the Ninja (1976)* - Also known as "Blood of the Dragon", this ninja-less movie stars Jimmy Wang Yu as a hero who gets caught up in a rebellion plot. It's shoddily made at times and the lack of ninja is jarring, but the fight scenes rarely stop and they are pretty good. The violence and the (shockingly charismatic) Jimmy Wang Yu complete the film as genuinely entertaining. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2011)

*Death Race 2 (2010)* - Luke Goss stars as the man who becomes Frankenstein (from the opening of the first film) as he participates in death matches. This prequel focuses on the beginnings of the character and the event, and is actually decent. It tries to do its own thing while expanding upon the original. It also helps that it's full of action, although it certainly has a few notable flaws too. Danny Trejo, Ving Rhames, Sean Bean and Robin Shou co-star. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2011)

*Merantau (2009)* - A country bumpkin travels to the city for his spiritual journey known as Merantau, only equipped with his cloths, some money and his martial arts skills (he practices a form called Silat). However, he finds himself helping siblings evade a sex trafficking ring. It's pretty much Indonesia's response to "Ong Bak" and sometimes it reaches that films greatness. The fights (while starting off weak) are sharp, creative and unique (Silat is very different, that's for sure) and the stunts are jaw dropping. The problem is, when fight scenes aren't happening, the film slows down and is sort of boring. 

3/4


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 29, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Drunken Master II (1994)* - Also known as "The Legend of Drunken Master" in the west, this film stars Jackie Chan as young trouble-maker Wong Fei-hung who has to grow up and master his drunken boxing stance when his family is dragged into a conspiracy. By the 1990's, kung fu films were pretty much dead, so Jackie went out of his way to make arguably the best kung fu film yet! The choreography is superb, showcasing some amazing techniques and the fight scenes never really stop. But it also has very interesting characters, with Jackie delivering one of his best performances.
> 
> 4/4



this is one of my faves ever. 

i saw paranormal 3, there was a huge disconnect btwn the trailers and the movie.

but i thought it was about time the source of the paranormal stuff got addressed.

though there was alot of canon questions that weren't answered at all in this movie, like the photo, or the burnt house, etc...


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2011)

the photo was explained in part 2 I think but yeah, the trailers lied!
*
The Three Musketeers (2011)* - The classic story about a young warrior who joins the musketeers in order to protect france dawns a steampunk setting. Unfortunately, the script is unfocused and the steampunk attributes feel tacked on. It looks pretty though. 

2/4


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 30, 2011)

i wonder if the fire the coven started is the one that was shown in the trailer


----------



## Amuro (Oct 30, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Merantau (2009)* - A country pumpkin travels to the city for his spiritual journey known as Merantau, only equipped with his cloths, some money and his martial arts skills (he practices a form called Silat). However, he finds himself helping siblings evade a sex trafficking ring. It's pretty much Indonesia's response to "Ong Bak" and sometimes it reaches that films greatness. The fights (while starting off weak) are sharp, creative and unique (Silat is very different, that's for sure) and the stunts are jaw dropping. The problem is, when fight scenes aren't happening, the film slows down and is sort of boring.
> 
> 3/4



For some reason i don't think this is really about a Pumpkin who knows martial arts.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2011)

I- Um, DAMMIT! *goes to edit*

Narutosimpson: It doesn't look the same. The fire definately was a loose end.

Edit: Jesus, I did it in the actual review too.


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 31, 2011)

martial, the rumbling sound effect was used in PA3 , i wrote that comment on ur site


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 31, 2011)

If they used it, it wasn't as much as I never really heard it. The first two films used it to much better effect.


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 7, 2011)

*True Legend (2010) *- After being brutally beaten by his brother-in-law, a warrior finds himself being trained by the God of Wushu in his own mind, eventually finding the strength he needs to match his brother and rescue his son. While the narrative is flimsy (the plot ends 80% into the movie!) and it reminds me way too much of other, better films ("Fearless"), the fights come pretty often and the choreography is pretty good. It's one of the few films that have combined traditional choreography, wire fu and CGI-fu to perfection. Nice cast too, which includes Michelle Yeoh, David Carradine, Jay Chou and Gordon Liu among others. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2011)

*Immortals (2011)* - A peasant who has been raised by Zues (in human form) is trained in the sword, but wishes to live the simple life with his Mother. When she is killed by a brutal warlord who threatens all of Greece, the peasant vows revenge. The script is borrowing a lot from "Clash of the Titans (2010)" and the director is borrowing the style of "300". The result is a pretty cool film, but it's never a good thing when a movie blatantly reminds me of other films. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2011)

*The Storm Warriors (2009)* - The long anticipated sequel to "The Storm Riders" follows Cloud and Wind as they try to stop a warlord from invading China. It's a fantasy-wuxia flick and as such, I found the visual effects to be rather creative and ambitious. The Pang Brothers (who directed it) went all out in trying to create a special effects bonanza. Unfortunately, the film forgot to make a lick of sense in the process. It lacks proper narrative flow, script structure, characterizations and just struck me as incoherent. Maybe it would've made more sense if I read the comic it was based on. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 19, 2011)

*Samurai Assassin (1965)* - Toshiro Mifune stars as a Ronin who has joined up with a league of assassins whose target is the number one Lord of the Government. However, when one of them betrays the clan, he becomes the suspect. It's slow paced and is more of a drama than an action film, but the more I think about it the more respect I have for it. The director also did some of my favorite samurai films, like "Red Lion", "Kiru"(Kill!) and "Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo". 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2011)

*Fists and Guts (1979)* - Gordon Liu stars as a young warrior searching for the man (Lo Lieh) who stole his family fortune. Liu must've been injured from previous shoots because the choreography is rather bland and lazy compared to his better works- and he even vanishes for a while- but some fights are decent and I did find the movie to be pretty amusing. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2011)

*Assassination Games (2011)* - Jean-Claude Van Damme and Scott Adkins (former huge martial arts star and an up and coming one) star as two assassins who find themselves targeting the same hit for different reasons. It's more of a thriller that focuses on suspense and dramatic tension instead of martial arts, and it doesn't always achieve the right balance. But it is fun seeing how Van Damme and Adkins have improved their acting skills and both have a lot to do. I consider it to be a better version of "Faster", which also showcased more suspense and dramatic tension than action, but didn't use its star very well. 

3/4


----------



## tinlunlau (Dec 16, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Storm Warriors (2009)* - The long anticipated sequel to "The Storm Riders" follows Cloud and Wind as they try to stop a warlord from invading China. It's a fantasy-wuxia flick and as such, I found the visual effects to be rather creative and ambitious. The Pang Brothers (who directed it) went all out in trying to create a special effects bonanza. Unfortunately, the film forgot to make a lick of sense in the process. It lacks proper narrative flow, script structure, characterizations and just struck me as incoherent. Maybe it would've made more sense if I read the comic it was based on.
> 
> 2/4




The other problem that most HK viewers had with this film was that the Pang Brothers seem to just paste some of the comic panels without really giving a good backstory to it.  Which is unfortunate because I've heard that the Japanese Invasion Arc was one of the best parts from the original story.  I've only read a small bit of the original comic but gave up cuz it is WAY too long.  I think at the current state of its canon, they're up to Wind and Cloud's great-grandchildren by now.  


Spoiler alert:  Wind and Cloud are still an integral part of the current canonical story.  I think they've been frozen for several decades or something.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 16, 2011)

Hmmm, interesting.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 17, 2011)

*Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows (2011)* - Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson investigate a brilliant criminal mastermind, Professor Moriarty. The film has all the strengths of the original- high energy, lots of action, witty dialogue and two excellent leads- but gives us a better villain, plot and the CGI sets aren't so obvious. In essence, it's an improvement all around! 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 25, 2011)

*Goemon (2009)* - A thief/ninja gets involved within a political conspiracy between warlords in feudal Japan when he steals a mysterious blue box. The director also did "Casshern", an uneven movie that felt like a live action anime/video game. This is the same kind of film, but the plot is much smoother and the visuals were more grand and impressive. It also has good character drama, solidifying it as an improvement over his first work. Unfortunately, it goes on too long and collapses on its own weight. Still good though. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 29, 2011)

*Tekken: Blood Vengeance (2011)* - A CG animated film that more-or-less follows the continuity of the games, which makes it the first of the four Tekken films to do so. The story follows Xaioyu, a high school kung fu chick, who investigates a mysterious boy who has attracted the attention of Jin Kazama and Kazuya Mishima. It's more about character interaction than action, but it pulls it off rather well. Ironically, the films best sequence (the final battle) is where the film collapses on its own weight. Still, a must see for Tekken fans. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 16, 2012)

*Project A 2 (1987)* - Jackie Chan returns as Dragon Mao, now operating his own police station, and he has to fight Government agents, revolutionaries, gangsters and corrupt cops. Face it, the script is a convoluted mess that feels like it was being written as it was shot. But the movie is still very entertaining, having plenty of top notch fight scenes and stunts. Not quite as good as its predecessor, but a worthy sequel. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 19, 2012)

*Valhalla Rising (2009)* - A former slave warrior joins a group of vikings who wish to sail to the crusades, but instead they find themselves in a mysterious land where they are picked off one by one. It's not a horror film or an action film, but instead is an arty, claustrophobic thriller with the premise of an epic. Yet it's shot and scored like a horror film and the action (when it happens) is very stylish. 

3.5/4


----------



## Nakor (Jan 19, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Project A 2 (1987)* - Jackie Chan returns as Dragon Mao, now operating his own police station, and he has to fight Government agents, revolutionaries, gangsters and corrupt cops. Face it, the script is a convoluted mess that feels like it was being written as it was shot. But the movie is still very entertaining, having plenty of top notch fight scenes and stunts. Not quite as good as its predecessor, but a worthy sequel.
> 
> 3/4



I really liked the scene at the house, where everyone is hiding from each other.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 20, 2012)

yeah that was one of the films highlights.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2012)

*Haywire (2012)* - A covert operative is betrayed and now seeks to find out why. The cast includes Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Channing Tatum, Bill Paxton and Ewan McGregor, but none of these roles are substantial. Instead, they're there to support the leading actress, MMA star Gina Carano. The movie itself isn't much, but everything is designed around her and she's very impressive to watch. Her acting abilities are only surpassed by her physical skills! She can become a great action star if she chooses the right projects. 

3/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Jan 23, 2012)

Ah, I've heard Haywire was kinda all right.

But I dislike Gina Carano. I view her as a fake attention whore, honestly. And she's not even that great of a fighter.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Jan 23, 2012)

I heard the main characters voice is so annoying they had to dub over it.

don't know if thats true or not


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Jan 23, 2012)

Gina has a decent voice. 

She also has nice tits.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2012)

*Underworld: Awakening (2012)* - This 4th installment in the franchise is easily the worst, mainly because the story is a bunch of underused ideas cobbled together. Humans enter the war, exterminating most of the Lycans and Vampires. End of subplot there. Selene (protagonist from the first two films) awakens 12 years later and learns she has a daughter. Lycans and humans want the daughter so she has to kick ass. It's plotless but even the action is too tightly edited for it to be enjoyable. The franchise has become a shallow shell of its former self. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 26, 2012)

*The Last Samurai (1977)* - This is a rare samurai film, probably even more obscure since everyone will presume it's the Tom Cruise vehicle. It's not, although it does have a similar backstory. The time of the samurai is coming to an end, and friends are torn apart as they choose different sides. Visually, the film is easily the most fantastic samurai movie I've ever seen. However, it's full of filler and some relationships don't really register with us. Still, a must see if you can find it. The final (and best?) film by Kenji Misumi, who goes all out here. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 31, 2012)

*Tiger and Crane Fists (1976)* - Jimmy Wang Yu stars as a kung fu student who joins a rival school after his Master dies so that he can combine his and their styles in order to defeat a dangerous Manchu agent. This is the movie that would be re-cut into "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist". This turns a forgettable and mediocre kung fu film into a hilarious experience, as you can't help but think of "Kung Pow" and its funnier moments whenever the same scene happens in this one. But at the same time, none of that crappy CGI cow stuff too. A laugh riot, even if that wasn't the original intent. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2012)

*Alien Vs Ninja (2009)* - A squad of Ninja investigate a mysterious "fireball" crashing down to earth, only to attacked by vicious aliens. The film has the occassional moment of dread filled atmosphere, it has the occasional sequence of suspense and it does offer a few genuinelly good fight scenes. But for the most part, the enjoyment comes from how "bad" this movie is. I laughed at- and sometimes with- the movie the entire way. 

2/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Feb 9, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Last Samurai (1977)* - This is a rare samurai film, probably even more obscure since everyone will presume it's the Tom Cruise vehicle. It's not, although it does have a similar backstory. The time of the samurai is coming to an end, and friends are torn apart as they choose different sides. Visually, the film is easily the most fantastic samurai movie I've ever seen. However, it's full of filler and some relationships don't really register with us. Still, a must see if you can find it. The final (and best?) film by Kenji Misumi, who goes all out here.
> 
> 3.5/4


 A good samurai movie I haven't seen?




Must see this.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2012)

Good luck, the only way to find it is if you buy it on Ebay.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 11, 2012)

*Fireball (2009) *- Muy Thai meets Basketball in this Thailand production, where the two are combined to create a bloodsport tournament where a team can win a grand prize if they win, but can be left dead or injured if they lose. The protagonist enters the tournament when his brother is sent to the hospital after a game. It does a lot of stuff right, but it also does a lot wrong too. The fight scenes are good, but the director makes them hard to follow with his camera tricks and tight editing. Still, it manages to be pretty energetic. 

2.5/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Feb 13, 2012)

Fucking gay.



I don't trust eBay.


----------



## gumby2ms (Feb 13, 2012)

you can trust in ebay. look for trusted sellers. ebay is built on trust. 
my sister does most her xmas shopping on there. wire the entire series 40$. last year was pretty sweet.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2012)

*Zatoichi's Vengeance (1966)* - Ichi, the blind swordsman, stumbles onto a dying man who begs him to deliver his savings to someone named Taichi. That's all the information Ichi has, but the plot requires him to accidently stumble onto Taichi's village and this leads to your typical confrontation with Yakuza and a mysterious ronin. It seems like your conventional Zatoichi film, but it actually focuses more on the downside of Ichi's heroics. It's surprisingly subversive, but also has a lot of (well choreographed) action. The Blair Witch Project - 4/4

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2012)

*Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) *- Nicolas Cage reprises his role as Johnny Blaze, the man who transforms into a demonic superhero whenever he is in the presence of evil, in this sequel/reboot. He has to protect a Mother and her son, both whom have a dark secret. The film has no respect for continuity, forgetting plot points of the first film as well as forgetting its own plot points. In general, it's a mess with average special effects/action sequences, but it is also pretty funny. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2012)

*Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (2010)* - A boy falls in love (lust) with a woman. Unfortunately, she has seven ex evil boyfriends and now Scott has to fight them all in order to date her. The film is wild and out of control, which sometimes works in its favor but sometimes works against it. My main problem is that its two protagonists are so boring compared to the very interesting supporting cast. 

2/4


----------



## In Brightest Day! (Mar 3, 2012)

*Funny Games*

Avoid at all costs. Shitty, shitty movie and if you genuinely enjoyed this then you should subject yourself to hours of therapy. The thing is is that Michael Pitt (the lead antagonist) is actually completely suitable for the role he plays, which in this case isn't a compliment.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2012)

Yeah sounds too meta for me.
*
Out for Justice (1991)* - Steven Seagal is...out for justice...hunting down William Forsythe, the man who killed his partner. Seagal had made four stellar films by this point and this was the best at the time. It's gritty, violent, brutal and entertaining as hell. It's awesome to watch Seagal break bones and cave in faces. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2012)

*John Carter (2012)* - Taking place around the 1900's, a former soldier is accidentally transported to Mars during his search for gold in a mysterious cave. From there, he's forced to participate in a war between the inhabitants of Mars. With the talent and money involved ($250,000,000), you expect something more than just your average CGI spectacle that you get. 

2.5/4


----------



## masamune1 (Mar 10, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah sounds too meta for me.
> *
> Out for Justice (1991)* - Steven Seagal is...out for justice...hunting down William Forsythe, the man who killed his partner. Seagal had made four stellar films by this point and this was the best at the time. It's gritty, violent, brutal and entertaining as hell. It's awesome to watch Seagal break bones and cave in faces.
> 
> 3/4



_"Please, God, let me run into this guy someday"._ -  Might his best line ever.

I don't think you can fault it for the villain not being a match for Seagal. The bad guy spends most of the money running like Hell from him and the Mob makes a conscious decision to not get in his way. Plus you just have to take one look at the guy to know that he's not exactly Bruce Lee. I think the point of the final fight was more about a vicious bastard whose been evil and crazy throughout the whole movie getting the beatdown he deserves; its meant to be satisfying in terms of, well, Justice.

Don't think its fair to fault it on that.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2012)

Personal preference. If I felt it was an objective criticism, I would've been harsher on the rating as I've yet to see a final fight in a Seagal film that I liked.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 17, 2012)

*Game of Death (2010) *- Direct-to-DVD actioner starring Wesley Snipes as a secret Agent who is betrayed by his team while on a mission. No, there is no connection to the Bruce Lee anti-classic. It is one big action scene that should go down smoothly, but everything from the script to the direction ends up being "choppy" and convoluted. I was hoping the "Wesley Snipes Vs Gary Daniels" fight might be worth something, but that ended up being choppy too. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 24, 2012)

*The Hunger Games (2012)* - In the future, the rich dominates the poor by having randomly selected teenagers fight each other to the death every year. The protagonist ends up being the current years (un)lucky winner, and her courage and skill might make her the person who can defeat the system once and for all. There's a lot of minor faults that bloat up the script, but it is a riveting and moving action thriller. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 1, 2012)

*Wrath of the Titans (2012)* - Perseus, the demi-god who defeated the Kraken in the previous film, must go on a quest to stop the Titan's. I thought it was a little better than the previous film, having more white knuckled action sequences. But it is still a pretty typical spectacle, so if you don't like these types of movies, don't bother. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2012)

*Bodyguards and Assassins (2009)* - In the West, this was marketed as a Donnie Yen/Kung Fu feature, but it's actually a historical based melodrama with an all star Hong Kong cast. It felt like it bit off more than it could chew, because the movie underwhelmed me. The characters were too cliched to get my sympathy, the cast does fine but is wasted on the bland characters and it tries too hard to get an emotional response. When the action finally starts happening, the fight choreography is very good, but it's just too late. 

2/4


----------



## masamune1 (Apr 7, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Bodyguards and Assassins (2009)* - In the West, this was marketed as a Donnie Yen/Kung Fu feature, but it's actually a historical based melodrama with an all star Hong Kong cast. It felt like it bit off more than it could chew, because the movie underwhelmed me. The characters were too cliched to get my sympathy, the cast does fine but is wasted on the bland characters and it tries too hard to get an emotional response. When the action finally starts happening, the fight choreography is very good, but it's just too late.
> 
> 2/4



Oh, this. 

I got it for Christmas a couple of years ago, because I saw a clip of it and asked for it, feeling in a martial arts film mood.

Yeah, it was disappointing. I was seduced by its many film awards. Better film than a martial arts film, I guess.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2012)

Yeah, there's certainly better drama/martial arts hybrids out there, like "Little Big Soldier".


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Apr 7, 2012)

Why would anyone pay for seeing wrath of the titans since the 1st one sucked... a thing I ll never understand...


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 7, 2012)

"suck" is relative though. I thought the first one was kind of mediocre.

But to me, the cinema is an event. I love going to the movies every week.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 17, 2012)

*The Raid: Redemption (2010)* - A special forces team is sent into an apartment complex filled with dangerous and violent criminals who are protecting the ultimate dangerous and violent criminal. Chaos ensues. The first half is top notch -guns and explosives- action sequences that never seem to end. The second half is top notch- Silat, an Indonesian martial art- combat sequences that never seem to end. Super gritty, violent, intense and brutal, "The Raid" is a must see for fans of the genre. The star and writer/director had previously collaborated on the uneven "Merantau". 

3.5/4


----------



## gumby2ms (Apr 20, 2012)

so was looking for one movie and found another. basically a korean version of commando, taken or man on fire. you start off fearing it's a gleamy movie for a popstar/pretty boy/model but soon the pieces come together and the glam is shed for darkness and violence. some interesting cinematography as well. 

the man from nowhere/this man/Ajusshi (name varies)

check it bro. you should be highly satisfied.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2012)

I'll check it out.

*Kwaidan (1964)* - An anthology of ghost stories surrounding spirits, samurai, peasants, priests and death. Each story relies on inventive editing, surreal cinematography, slow burn suspense and low key horror. But honestly, I was bored throughout most of the stories and felt like this was a misfired experiment. I did appreciate "The Lady in the Snow", however, and most viewers like it much more than I did. Maybe I was just in the wrong mood for it. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 24, 2012)

*Curse of the Golden Flower (2006)* - Zhang Yimou's big(gest) budgeted epic stars Chow Yun-fat and Gong Li as the Chinese Emperor/Empress who are plotting against each other. Soon, their children start making plots of their own. It's a Shakespearean tragedy/political thriller mixed in with a big boned epic. I loved the story about as much as I loved the ambitious and gorgeous set pieces. The fight scenes aren't bad either. 

3.5/4


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Apr 28, 2012)

hey martial, seen "colombiana"? pretty nifty flick


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2012)

I thought it was mediocre.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 3, 2012)

*The Heroic Ones (1970)* - Cheng Cheh directs this epic starring David Chiang and Ti Lung as two of the thirteen brothers (adopted) who is sent to bring down a rebellion. But treachery is afoot! The film either wants to be Shakespearean or Japanese with its attempts at drama, but it sort of fails because of the lack of characterizations, pointless subplots and some really stupid moments. Luckily, the film has some pretty spectacular and ambitious set pieces, a huge budget for the time and some pretty epic and dangerous looking fight scenes. Uneven, but I liked the good a lot more than I hated the bad. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 5, 2012)

*The Avengers (2012)*- Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and the Hulk have to team up in order to stop Thor's brother, Loki, from conquering the Earth. This movie has great humor, action and special effects, but it also balances the characters nicely. It is what every comic book movie should be like! I only hope that subsequent movies based on the individual characters don't look lackluster in comparison. 

4/4


----------



## Yasha (May 5, 2012)

Have you seen _The Heroic Trio_ by Johnny To?


----------



## MartialHorror (May 5, 2012)

Is that the one with those three chicks who appeared in every 90's Hong Kong movie ever made? If so, yeah, although its been a long time.

I also saw another film with those same characters. 

I remember liking both.


----------



## Yasha (May 5, 2012)

Yup. 

The other one you saw must be its sequel. Both are good in a B movie sort of way.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 21, 2012)

*Good Guys Wear Black (1978)* - Chuck Norris stars as a ex-CIA veteran of Vietnam, who discovers that the survivors of a disastrous mission he commanded are being hunted down. It has a few cool moments that give the movie a surviving charm, but otherwise it's pretty bad. Never boring though. Directed by Ted Post. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 31, 2012)

*The Russian Specialist (2005)* - Dolph Lundgren stars as a former Russian special opts member-turned drug dealer-turned mechanic whose family is killed by a gangster. He gets a shot at revenge when the gangster kidnaps the daughter of a rich woman, who promptly hires Lundgren to get her back. The second half is better than the first, but I thought the movie was just sort of mediocre. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2012)

*Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)*- Snow White is chased by an Evil Queen, who recruits a huntsman to bring the girl to her. Snow White is the latest fairy tale to get the big epic treatment. It's actually a fairly acceptable "Lord of the Rings" clone, being more interested in showcasing gorgeous visuals, which distracted me from the confused script. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 12, 2012)

*DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)* - Three female martial artists enter a tournament with only their skills and skimpy clothing, only to discover a conspiracy. The fights are just okay, the acting isn't very good and the plot is absurd. But I love it! It's nothing but fanservice, crazy subplots, and good looking landscapes. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 18, 2012)

*Legendary Assassin (2008)*- Jackie Wu stars as an assassin who accidentally brings a female cop into his war with a clan of gangsters. This was Wu's debut and while he does good in terms of acting, his direction fails to bring any energy to the proceedings. It has its moments, but tends to be overly manipulative and corny. The fights are just mediocre too. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 24, 2012)

*Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)* - When he witnesses his Mother being killed by a vampire, Abraham Lincoln becomes a vampire hunter. But soon, he realizes that he would be much more effective if he became the President and freed the slaves, whom the vampires prey upon because no one would notice. So begins the Civil War, which was actually waged not only to unify the country, but also to drive out the vampires. It sports some highly inventive and stylized action sequences, but is awkwardly paced. Still, I primarily enjoyed this because it takes itself so seriously, which I find hilarious. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 26, 2012)

*Karate Girl (2011)*- Rina Takeda's followup to "High Kick Girl" has her trying to defend the family heirloom from a vicious gang, who sends her own sister (she was kidnapped and brainwashed as a child) to take her out. The good fight scenes barely make up for the sluggish pacing. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 27, 2012)

*Bunraku (2010)*- In this stylized- Asian culture meets western culture- live action anime/manga/comic book. a cowboy without a gun and a samurai without a sword team up to take on a ruthless gangster. It's hyperactive camera-work/editing/sets will either strike you as awesome or stupid. But I got a kick out of them and the fight scenes are pretty diverse too. You'll either love it or hate it. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2012)

*Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon (2008)* - Andy Lau (playing the iconic Zhang Zilou) and Sammo Hung star as two lowly soldiers fighting during the three kingdoms period. Lau rises in the ranks, soaring far past his friend (and former superior). But the war continues to rage, leading to a showdown between Zhang Zilou and a ruthless, female warlord (Maggie Q). It's not bad, being relatively fast paced while also sporting a top notch cast. But compared to its contemporaries like "Red Cliff", it's rather underwhelming. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 3, 2012)

*Dragons Forever (1988)* - Jackie Chan stars as a sleazy laywer who is hired to defend an even more sleazy chemical factory, who have been accused of dumping waste into a fish pond.. He hires Sammo Hung to seduce the owner of the fish pond and convince her to sell. He then hires Yuen Biao to bug her place. But for some reason, he fails to tell the two about each other and they find themselves clashing while on the inevitable road to redemption. It's much more melodramatic than what you would expect from these guys, so the pacing is a little choppy. But when they fight, the film becomes golden. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 9, 2012)

*The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)*- Peter Parker gets bitten by a radio active spider, which gives him super powers. He becomes the heroic Spider-Man , fighting crime, beating up bullies and getting the girl. But his job becomes difficult when a friendly scientists uses an untested serum on himself, which transforms him into a monstrous reptile. I liked the action, comedy and drama. But it's a bit too long...

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2012)

*The Legend is Born- Ip Man (2010)* - The film chronicles Ip Man as a youth, including his rise through the ranks of Wing Chun, his participation in a love triangle, him being framed for a murder and his inevitable owning of 20 Japanese Samurai-Ninja warriors. So yes, while there was a historical Ip Man, this is very fictional. It's a shameless knock-off of Donnie Yen's "Ip Man" movies, but it is so sincere about that that it almost feels like an authentic prequel. The fight scenes are good, but the script is all over the place. It doesn't even have a real plot. 

2.5/4


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## Vault (Jul 14, 2012)

2.5? Too generous imo.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2012)

Vault said:


> 2.5? Too generous imo.



lol, you saw it?


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## Vault (Jul 14, 2012)

Yeah and I thought the film was all over the place, it was a mess. The way things got resolved was also really crappy. 

Have you watched Reign of assassins?


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## Yasha (Jul 14, 2012)

Strange Circus is probably something you would enjoy watching.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2012)

Vault: I 100% agree (I stress this in my full review), but I thought the direction, acting and fight choreography kept it from fully sucking. If you aren't a dedicated kung fu fan though, then you won't like it at all. I havent seen "Reign of Assassins", but will give it a look. 

Yasha: I'll check it out.


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## Vault (Jul 14, 2012)

I recommend Reign of Assassins. 

The choreography was good but I found the guy who played Ip incredibly stiff, he didn't have the fluidity of Donnie Yen and this kinda ruined my enjoyment of the fighting. Just look when Sammo or Yuen Biao fight, their movement are elegant yet the guy was just wooden. :/


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2012)

lol, well a large part of enjoying the movie is accepting that Dennis To isn't Donnie Yen.

Added "Reign" on netflix list.

Seriously Yasha, I just read the plot for Strange Circus. Seriously....Is that even a horror film?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2012)

*The Invincible Armour (1977)* - A General is framed for the murder of his Master, so hunts down the real killer while avoiding assassins and uncovering a conspiracy. It turns out that the mastermind behind it all has a skill where he can make him skin as tough as armor, and the general has to find its weakspot. The choreography hasn't aged well, but the protagonist seems to be using Taekwondo, which contrasts nicely to everyone else's traditional kung fu. Plus, the fights happen non-stop and sometimes the movie just gets bizarre. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense, but it is reasonably entertaining. 

3/4


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## Vault (Jul 17, 2012)

You need to watch alot of John Lui films Martial. Try Mars Villa, The dragon, The Hero. The dragon the hero also has Tino Wong teaming up with Lui again  and shaolin ex monk is also great. The secret rivals trilogy is also brilliant.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2012)

Is he a Taekwondo fighter? And yeah, I'll add some of those to my netflix list.


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## Vault (Jul 18, 2012)

It's a variant of Taekwondo but iirc it's his own fighting style. However Hwang Jang Lee uses the real taekwondo but for specific roles he tends to use other styles but his really a grandmaster of taekwondo.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2012)

Ah.

*The Dark Knight Rises (2012)* - Bruce Wayne has retired his Batman persona since taking the blame for Harvey Dent's death 8 years ago. But he's forced to return when a terrorist named Bane begins a campaign of terror against the town. There's a lot of great stuff here and I thought it was a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy. But it is rather unfocused compared to its predecessor. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 26, 2012)

*Rumble in the Bronx (1995)*- Jackie Chan leaves China to visit the Bronx (New York) in order to watch his Uncle's house while he is away. Once there, he pretty much discovers that everyone is a gangster or one of their victims. His mad kung fu skills save the day, but eventually he finds himself being hunted by an army of thugs. Things get even worse when the Mafia gets involved. The plot is a mess, the characters are thinly written, the acting is awful and the films portrayal of New York (was actually filmed in Vancouver) is sort of racist. Yet the kung fu is good and the more high octane action sequences are downright amazing. It certainly is one of Jackie's more ambitious films. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2012)

*American Kickboxer 1 (1991)* - A kickboxing champion is disgraced when he accidentally kills someone (outside of the ring). After being released from prison, he tries to repair his life but soon finds himself drawn back into the ring. The fight scenes are actually pretty good considering this was made in 1991 by westerners. Too bad the movie is more interested in melodrama, although the hammy acting and bad script at least kept me amused. I've never seen a movie label itself as '1' before. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 4, 2012)

*Total Recall (2012)* - A normal guy is bored with his life and wants to partake in a program called 'total recall', which implants fake memories of a grander life into his head. He wants to be a spy, but it turns out that he really was a spy and that the procedure had just unlocked his memories. Now he's on the run from the law. It was about as bland as I expected it to be, but I was surprised at how boring it was too. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2012)

*On Deadly Ground (1994)*- Steven Seagal plays an agent of an oil company (in Alaska) who discovers illegal activities and is nearly killed for this. He's rescued by a native American tribe who teaches him the error of his ways by showing how him oil drilling harms Mother Earth. Now he must teach his former co-workers the error of their ways, by KILLING THEM ALL! Seagal directed this feature and it's generally considered the movie that killed his career. It collapses under its own pretensions, but it is pretty amusing/entertaining. I can't say the same for his direct-to-DVD movies. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 19, 2012)

*The Expendables 2 (2012)*- The mercenaries known as the Expendables are hired in what appears to be a walk in the park job, but they find themselves head to head with another group of mercenaries (headed by Jean-Claude Van Damme, playing a villain named...vilain). The film makes sure to primarily focus on the interactions between the iconic action stars- which includes Chuck Norris, playing a small but epic role- but it also provides many great action sequences too. I love how the the movie doesn't rehash its predecessor, but has a completely different look and tone. Even detractors of the previous film might enjoy this. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2012)

*Born to Fight (2004)* - Panna Rittikrai (who choreographed "Ong Bak") directs this feature starring fake Tony Jaa (Dan Chupong, who became awesome once he stepped out of Jaa's shadow), who plays a cop whose mentor is killed in action. He's left shaken, but decides to join his sister on a charity project, where a bunch of athletes help out a poor village. But then terrorists arrive and hold everyone hostage... When it comes to story, characters and any form of drama, the film fails hilariously. But the action is pretty spectacular, regardless of whether they are using their fits, feat or guns. The stunt-work here is freaking amazing. Even Jackie Chan would be jealous. 

3/4


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## hiddenmistmansss (Aug 28, 2012)

How would you rate The Malay Chronicles: Bloodlines (The original title is in Malay that is Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa)


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2012)

Haven't seen it, but will add it to the request list. Is it any good?


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## hiddenmistmansss (Aug 29, 2012)

It's pretty decent for a Malaysian Produced Action movie


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## MartialHorror (Sep 2, 2012)

*Ironclad (2011)*- A Templar Knight bands with a Baron and his men in order to protect a strategically important castle from the tyrannical King John. Despite its limited budget ($25,000,000), this medieval epic has a respectable cast (James Purefoy, Paul Giamatti and Brian Cox among others) and some spectacular set pieces. It's also insanely violent and action packed, but it lags heavily in the middle block and never fully recovers from that snag. It's still a good example of this genre, being superior to Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood" movie that had the same villain. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 11, 2012)

*One in the Chamber (2012)* - Cuba Gooding Jr. stars as a disillusioned hitman who botches up a job, which results in a bloody war between two rival gangs. One hires Cuba, but the other hires an eccentric assassin played by Dolph Lundgren (who steals the show). Who will come out on top? To the films credit, it tries its best to be clever and witty, but the only real entertaining scenes are when Cuba and Dolph interact. Sadly, there isn't much of that. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2012)

*Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) *- The 5th entry in the stupid- but sometimes fun- franchise has zombie/monster killer Alice stuck in another Umbrella facility. She has to fight her way out once again, but not only does she have to fight monsters and zombies, she has to take on clones of past allies. The action is good, but I found myself frustrated at how it wasted some really good ideas (like the clone thing). 

2/4


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## gumby2ms (Sep 17, 2012)

lol yeah felt about the same. was weirdly satisfied by some of it but a lot of it was wasted. and some of the cgi was just poor.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 20, 2012)

*The Shaolin Temple (1982) *- Jet Li makes his debut as a warrior out to avenge his Father, but he doesn't have the strength to do it, so joins the Shaolin Temple. He learns their Kung Fu, but does he have the internal conviction to become a true Monk? Incredibly well made kung fu feature that showcases lots of spectacular fight scenes. Jet Li himself was in his prime before a back injury he sustained in the early 90's. He was still great after that, so imagine his mad skills before then? Amazing! Beware of the violence against animals.  

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 23, 2012)

*Dredd (2012)* - In a dystopian future, crime and poverty dominates the world and the only ones who oppose the chaos are Judges. Judges are badasses- who act as Police, Juries, Judges and Executioners- but the baddest is Judge Dredd. He's assigned to tutor a rookie, Mutant girl, but they're in for hell when they arrest someone whom the local Drug Lord does not want in custody. They are locked in a 200 story slum tower, where they have to fight off every criminal in the building. "Dredd" is for people who complain that actioners are not violent enough, are dragged down by love-stories, back-stories and any kind of substance. It's simple, but entertaining as hell. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 3, 2012)

*Fire Down Below (1997)* - Steven Seagal stars as an Environmental Protection Agent who is sent to a town in Kentucky in order to investigate possible toxic waste spills. But more importantly, he has to woo a troubled local. There isn't a lot of action and the movie seems more interested in its romance, which is NOT what I want out of a Seagal movie. But more than anything, it's just kind of boring. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2012)

*Taken 2 (2012)* - Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), a former CIA Agent, brutally murdered everyone involved in the abduction of his daughter in the previous film. But his victims have relatives and now they want vengeance, targeting him and his family on a trip in Istanbul. The action is an improvement, but it's rather bland and awkwardly paced. It's as pointless as you expect, but not terrible. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 8, 2012)

*The Heroic Trio (1993)* - Three super human, female warriors (Anita Mui, Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung) must unite to stop an evil villain. It is a campy, action packed, wiru fu, horror, fantasy extravaganza packed with bad (but inventive) special effects. It's laughable a lot of the time, but there is something really cool about it. I had a lot of fun. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 12, 2012)

*Never Back Down 2: The Beatdown (2011)*- When an amateur martial arts tournament called 'The Beatdown' is help, four teenaged fighters train under the mysterious and highly skilled Chase (Michael Jai White). It's better than its predecessor, which was just forgettable fluff. It provides some cool training sequences and fight scenes, but the movie seems unsure whom its target audience is. Is it for teenaged girls who want drama (like the first one) or men who want gritty action? You get shades of both and they don't blend well together. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 17, 2012)

*Fast Sword (1971)*- A warrior kills the man who avenges his brother and subsequently finds himself arrested by a local magistrate. But both are forced to team up when the dead guys brother sends his entire gang to slay him. Was cutting edge for its time, but the fight choreography looks stiff when compared to what the late 1970's would produce. It should be noted that the DVD transfer sucked. Keep an eye out for Sammo Hung, who also was an action director. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2012)

*Dororo (2007)* - A warrior- with an artificial body- teams up with a young thief in order to track down and slay the 47 demons who stole all of his appendages as an infant. The film starts off strong, but around the half way point it descends into sheer camp. The monsters become increasingly faker and the comedy becomes more slapstick. Yet it also crams in lots of sappy melodrama. Still, when it works, it's pretty cool. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 4, 2012)

*The Man With the Iron Fists (2012)* - RZA co-wrote, directs and stars in this throwback to chop-socky kung fu movies. The Government plans on moving gold through a dangerous village and everyone wants to steal it. Apparently the original cut was over 4 hours (!!), but it was cut down to 90 minutes. It shows because the protagonist (RZA) is barely present in the first half, but dominates most of the screentime during the 2nd half. He's just not much of an anchor. Russell Crowe was awesome though and the action was plentiful. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 12, 2012)

*6 Bullets (2012)*- Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Samson Gaul, a mercenary who specializes in rescuing kidnapped children. When an MMA fighters daughter is kidnapped by sex traffickers, somewhere in Europe, he hires Samson Gaul to get her back. It's like "Taken", but with more balls. This is a shockingly bleak action-thriller, but I loved it. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 19, 2012)

*Muay Thai Fighter (2007)*- Three friends- who all happen to train in Muy Thai kickboxing- take separate paths when they move to Bangkok, but those paths are about to collide. It's more of a melodrama than an action film, but relies too much on cliches and the actors can't carry themselves dramatically. It does have some inspired moments, but it failed to leave an impact. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 26, 2012)

*Flying Swords of Dragon Gate (2011)*- Various stories unfold surrounding the mysterious Dragon Gate Inn, which includes treasure, rebellion, heroism and treachury. A warrior (Jet Li) seeks to unite all of the various groups in order to fight against a corrupt Eunuch. Tsui Hark wrote and directed this uninspired- but mostly harmless- epic that showcases way too much (weak) CG-fu. It's not bad, but it's very forgettable. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 30, 2012)

*Adventures of Zatoichi (1964)*- Blind swordsman Ichi has...adventures! Ichi wanders into a town and deals with various subplots as he tries to celebrate the new year. He has to help a lady find her Father, deal with corrupt gangsters and magistrates while bonding with a man who might be his father. Caught in the middle are a pair of siblings who tie everything together. It's one of those more dramatic Zatoichi's, although the (few) sword fights are well placed and executed. It's more pessimistic than the norm, but it's also very moving. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 17, 2012)

*The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)*- A Hobbit named Bilbo is recruited to help a group of Dwarves tack back their Kingdom from a dragon. Chaos ensues. Funny, intense, exciting and full of awe inspiring visuals, "The Hobbit" revived everything I loved about "The Fellowship of the Ring", which was painfully lacking in the subsequent "Lord of the Rings" film. What keeps it from being just as great are the pacing issues. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2012)

*Jade Warrior (2006)*- A Finnish/Chinese co-production about a man who discovers that he is the reincarnation of a great warrior, who failed to slay a demon due to his quest for love. When the demon returns, he has to set things right. Despite having some martial arts- especially wuxia- elements, it's actually a melodramatic romance. It focuses more on dialogue than action. Still, effort was clearly put into it and there is a lot of talent involved. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 26, 2012)

*House of Fury (2005)*- Anthony Wong stars as the Chiropractic Father of two children (played by Gillian Chung and Stephen Fung), whom he annoys by telling them crazy stories about how he used to be a secret agent who fought all sorts of villains. They dismiss his stories until he's kidnapped by a person with ties to his past. Luckily, he taught them martial arts and they have to use those skills to save him and themselves. It's a slapstick comedy, but while it sometimes made me roll my eyes, I found it to be rather funny. Furthermore, the choreography is shockingly good, considering the main stars aren't real martial artists. Fun stuff. Fung also directed and co-wrote. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 30, 2012)

*Ninja's Creed (2009)*- Originally called "Royal Kill" and was made in 2005, it gained some attention for being the last movie Pat Morita did before his death. It also sucks hard. A princess is living in the United States and an assassin is tracking her down. It's up to a soldier to save her. Almost unwatchable. 

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2013)

Top 12 favorite Films of 2012 (includes my most hated experiences).


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## MartialHorror (Jan 13, 2013)

*The Big Boss (1971)*- The movie that gave Bruce Lee his first leading role is pretty shoddy, but Bruce is amazing. I suspect that originally the gore was going to be a big draw for this low budget actioner, but Bruce stole the limelight from everyone and everything else, so the priorities were changed. The good thing about this film is that everything- from the strengths to its weaknesses- magnifies Bruce's presence. Silly, but violent and fun. 

3/4


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## Grape (Jan 16, 2013)

Hey MH, I've been trying to think of the name of a zombie movie I liked as a kid. I figured if anyone would be able to help, it's you 

It was made in the mid-to-late 80's and is about a young couple trying to survive on the run, but the girl is slowly turning into a zombie the whole movie. She ends up with shards of glass and metal protruding from her face. I think it's a sequel to another movie, but I'm not 100% sure. The chick is pretty hot, or was to me when I was like eleven lol. I think they are trying to reach a Government facility or something, maybe they just end up at one


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## MartialHorror (Jan 16, 2013)

I believe it's "Return of the Living Dead III".


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## Grape (Jan 16, 2013)

You're good, MH, but you _could_ be more than just good, you could be the best.

Thanks


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## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2013)

No problem! And yes, I am the best.....AROUND, NOTHINGS EVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!


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## MartialHorror (Jan 25, 2013)

*The Malay Chronicles: Bloodlines (2011)* - A vagabond is hired to protect a Roman Prince, who is to marry a Chinese Princess. This large scale epic came from Malaysia and was largely loathed by critics. It's a swashbuckling, adventure-martial arts-comedy, but the comedy alone nearly sinks the project. I guess it's a bad movie, but I can't deny that I really enjoyed it. If anything, the fights are pretty good. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 3, 2013)

*The Legend of the Shadowless Sword (2005)* - A female warrior is sent to bring back an exiled Prince to his Kingdom, so he can unite their country. But a band of assassins has been sent to take the Prince out. It's actually a South Korean production, but was filmed in China. It provides nice visuals and stellar Wire-fu, but can't decide whether it wants the narrative to be streamlined or episode. Still, an enjoyable experience. 

3/4


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## Ennoea (Feb 3, 2013)

I was reading some of your review and dude where did you find out about half these movies. Dororo for instance, it seems like such a weird ass film.

Anyway I've begun to appreciate what you do, you really have your niche down.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 3, 2013)

Ennoea said:


> I was reading some of your review and dude where did you find out about half these movies. Dororo for instance, it seems like such a weird ass film.
> 
> Anyway I've begun to appreciate what you do, you really have your niche down.



netflix, baby!

Just search for foreign action films or whatever in the browsing section. You'll come up with all sorts of bizarre stuff.


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## Ennoea (Feb 3, 2013)

So it's basically random. Lol.


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## Vault (Feb 7, 2013)

Too much horror not enough martial, fix that MH.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 8, 2013)

I've been trying to balance it more lately, lol.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2013)

*Trail of Blood (1972)*- Yoshio Harada stars as a Ronin who hangs up his sword in order to start a family. Unfortunately, he's attacked by enemies from his past and his family is killed in the process. He swears bloody revenge. Flawed, but enjoyable Samurai-opus. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 9, 2013)

"KICKBOXER" MONTH BEGINS!

*Kickboxer (1989)*- This early Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle has him play the brother of a kickboxer who is crippled during a match in Thailand. He must learn Muay Thai kickboxing in order to avenge him. It borrows elements from "The Karate Kid" and Van Damme's previous "Bloodsport", but it's not necessarily an imitation. While the action was good, I enjoyed "Kickboxer" more for its interesting cast of characters. Expect a lot of 80's cheese though! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 11, 2013)

*The Fearless Avenger (1972)*- The first sequel to "Trail of Blood" has wandering swordsman Jokichi continuing his quest for vengeance against the men who raped/killed his wife and butchered their son. It fixes a lot of its predecessors flaws, but also diminishes its strengths. I'd say it's overall a little bit better than the first one, but I prefer "Trail of Blood" more. Followed by "Slaughter in the Snow", which concludes the trilogy. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 14, 2013)

*Kickboxer 2: The Road Back (1991)* - Sasha Mitchell plays the third brother in the Sloan family, because Jean-Claude Van Damme didn't want to return for this sequel. David (Mitchell) finds himself being forced into a conflict with Tong Po, the man who his brother had defeated in the previous movie. It's shocking to find out that the writer was David S. Goyer, known primarily for writing "Batman Begins". It's not very good though...The fights are limp and the movie doesn't seem to know how melodrama works. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 18, 2013)

*Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)*- John (Scott Adkins) is mercilessly beaten by Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme), who proceeds to murder his wife and child despite the fact that he is the PROTAGONIST OF THIS FRANCHISE. To make matters even stranger, apparently Luc has allied himself with his past nemesis, Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren). John swears vengeance. It's completely changes the style and tone of the "Universal Soldier" movies, being a psychological, moody descent into madness instead of action. Although when the action does happen, it's pretty spectacular. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 23, 2013)

*Maximum Conviction (2012)*- Steven Seagal and (Stone Cold) Steve Austin are two ex-special forces members who are hired to decommission a prison. But before they can remove the remaining prisoners, a group of elite killers break in to take one of them. Probably Steven Seagal's best direct-to-DVD movie, although he himself doesn't contribute much to it. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2013)

*Kickboxer 3: The Art of War (1993)* - David Sloan and his mentor, Xian, go to Rio for a tournament. But they get involved with a band of nasty human traffickers. Whereas its predecessor was a bad character drama, this is merely a bad action film. As I prefer action over drama, I prefer "Kickboxer 3". It's low brow filmmaking, but I had some fun with it. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 28, 2013)

*Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor (1994)*- David Sloan is framed by his old Nemesis, Tong Po, after collaborating with the DEA to bring Po (a drug dealer) down. He's released and sent to Po's compound where he will participate in a tournament under an assumed name. Now he can get vengeance and also rescue his wife, whom Po made into a sex slave. This darker entry in the franchise barely resembles its predecessors. But no complaints here, as it's the best of the "Kickboxer" sequels. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 1, 2013)

*Redemption: Kickboxer 5 (1995)*- Mark Dacascos plays Matt Reeves, a kickboxer who goes to South Africa in order to avenge his friend. But his enemy is skilled in the martial arts and is quite resourceful, so he has to team up with a hit-man looking for redemption. This is the worst of the "Kickboxer" movies, being incompetent on every level. There is a reason there's not a "Kickboxer 6"... 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2013)

*Trail of Blood III: Slaughter in the Snow (1973)*- Jokichi of Mikogami is a wandering swordsman/ronin who continues to look for the men who raped and murdered his wife and son. Only one is left...but that isn't the actual plot! Jokichi finds himself being stalked by a knife throwing bounty hunter who wishes to duel him. But they must team up in order to stop a Yakuza clan that wants them both dead. It fixes many of the problems that plagued the previous "Trail of Blood" movies, while looking great. But somehow, it's the least satisfying of the lot. There wasn't a fourth film, so I guess Jokichi never got his revenge... 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 16, 2013)

*Shaolin Temple 2: Kids from Shaolin (1984)* - A group of youngsters (lead by Jet Li) train under a Shaolin master across the river from the Wu Tang clan, which is comprised of mostly females. They feud, but must work together when bandits get involved. It's a kids movie that is only connected to its predecessor by name. It's very...Chinese, so westerners such as myself won't care for the humor, understand the context of the musical numbers and be freaked out by the child nudity. It's not bad- the finale is awesome- but I can't say I liked it. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 20, 2013)

*Shaolin (2011) *- A loose remake of the Jet Li cult classic "Shaolin Temple", this stars Andy Lau and is directed by one of Jackie Chan's favorite directors: Benny Chan. Andy Lau plays a ruthless War Lord who is betrayed by his right hand man (Nicholas Tse), which leads the death of his daughter. Dismayed and seeking redemption, he joins the Shaolin Temple. It tries too hard to elicit pathos with blatant symbolism and heavy handed melodrama. But it blends in nicely with the action, which is pretty good. Overall, it's decent. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 29, 2013)

*Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai (2011)*- A mysterious Ronin requests that a respectable clan allow him to commit ritual suicide in their courtroom. The leader tells him a story about a young man who made a similar offer, but only to get charity from the clan. They forced him to go through with it using a 'wooden' sword. The ronin proceeds to tell his own tragic tale, but soon it becomes apparent that maybe he's not there to commit suicide...It's a carbon copy remake of "Harakiri (1962)". Either it's good because the original is good, or it's bad because it coasts off the original so much. I'm torn in the middle. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 4, 2013)

*Iron Man 3 (2013)*- Tony Stark dons the Iron Man suit in order to stop a ruthless terrorist known as the Mandarin. It's pretty fun, but the story went in directions that I did not agree with. I stress that I didn't find any of this to be objectively bad. My problems with it were much more personal. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 7, 2013)

*BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2010)*- The half vampire/half human hybrid known as Rayne hunts Nazi's and Vampires during World War 2. After making some decent flicks, director Uwe Boll decides to deliver what might be his worst film since "House of the Dead". It just sucks on every level. Even Michael Pare looks ashamed and Michael Pare has been in plenty of Uwe Boll movies before...

1/4


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## MartialHorror (May 18, 2013)

*Dragon (2011)*- Taking place in 1917, Donnie Yen plays a family man who is forced two kill two thugs, earning him respect among his fellow villagers. For the most part, his story checks out. But a detective begins to suspect that he might be a ruthless criminal who vanished 10 years prior. Part mystery/part kung fu flick, "Dragon" is a very well made movie that's also fairly unique. Clearly inspired by "A History of Violence". 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (May 18, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> *Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai (2011)*- A mysterious Ronin requests that a respectable clan allow him to commit ritual suicide in their courtroom. The leader tells him a story about a young man who made a similar offer, but only to get charity from the clan. They forced him to go through with it using a 'wooden' sword. The ronin proceeds to tell his own tragic tale, but soon it becomes apparent that maybe he's not there to commit suicide...It's a carbon copy remake of "Harakiri (1962)". Either it's good because the original is good, or it's bad because it coasts off the original so much. I'm torn in the middle.
> 
> 2.5/4



Did you watch it in 3D?


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## MartialHorror (May 18, 2013)

No, I hear it wasnt pretty good.


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## Uncle Acid (May 18, 2013)

I haven't seen it myself, but I've seen and heard a lot of praise for the 3D version of the film. The 3D is what made this film amazing. ithout the 3D it's just a mediocre experience, and that comes from both people who enjoy 3D and eople who has never, ever, before this, enjoyed a 3D film. Really want to watch it in 3D myself.


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## MartialHorror (May 22, 2013)

*The Accidental Spy (2001)*- Jackie Chan stars as...Jackie Chan! Well, if you're watching the U.S dubbed version anyway...He discovers his late Father- who abandoned him as an infant- was a special agent and becomes embroiled in a...incredibly boring plot about drugs...if you're watching the U.S dubbed version, anyway. The action scenes are solid, but they aren't enough to save the weak story. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 28, 2013)

*Shanghai Knights (2003)* - This sequel to "Shanghai Noon" follows Chon Wayne (Jackie Chan) and Ray O'Bannon (Owen Wilson) as they travel to London to solve the murder of Wayne's Father. Mayhem ensues. While the comedy is a bit too forced, I thought it had a great balance of humor and action. About as entertaining as its predecessor. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2013)

*Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010)*- Andy Lau stars as Detective Dee, a political prisoner who is released by the Empress under one condition: Solve a string of murders where the death is by spontaneous combustion. Suspects pile on higher than the victim count, so can Dee solve the crime? It's a very engaging whodunit mystery that happens to have a lot of wire-fu, which is pretty good too. Thoroughly entertaining. Marked a return to glory for director Hark Tsui. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 17, 2013)

*Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)* - Ricky, a martial artist with super human strength, is sent to prison because he killed the man responsible for his girlfriends death. Ricky now must contend with the sadistic warden, his assistant warden and four martial artists with their own inhuman abilities. The fights rely not on choreography, but on extreme violence. Heads get crushed, fists impale stomachs, people strangle each-other with their own intestines and that's just the tip of the iceberg. The effects are often pretty laughable, but that only adds to the films entertainment level. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 18, 2013)

*The Sorcerer and the White Snake (2011)* - Jet Li stars as Monk Fahai, who decides to forcefully break up the marriage between a human and a demon. A loose remake of "Green Snake", but Fahai and Green Snake are no longer the main characters, being replaced by the lovers. It also stripped away everything that made its predecessor interesting, turning it into a fluffy, safe, conventional and forgettable flick. But it's only really bad because it relies so much on horrendous CGI effects. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2013)

*Kunoichi: Ninja Girl (2011)-* Rina Takeda stars as the titular ninja, who is kidnapped-along with a small group of women- by an enemy ninja tribe for sex slave purposes. But it turns out she has no plan on becoming a sex slave, so it's time to kick ass. It's from the director of "Alien Vs Ninja" and it's nowhere near as bad/entertaining. But there are some really good ideas in the story and the final fight is pretty cool. Too bad it's kind of slow paced for an HOUR long movie. 

2/4


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## Muk (Jun 26, 2013)

well the poster girl looks hot ish?
is it like the middle of the road with both bad and entertainment? is that what you are trying to say?


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## MartialHorror (Jun 26, 2013)

Muk said:


> well the poster girl looks hot ish?
> is it like the middle of the road with both bad and entertainment? is that what you are trying to say?



lol, that's more like "Alien Vs Ninja".

This is more like, it's the middle of the road with both good and bad. What it does right with its story, it REALLY does right. It's just too bad its better ideas weren't in a better movie.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 29, 2013)

*Dead Sushi (2012)*- When killer mutant zombie sushi attack the inhabitants of an inn, it's up to a sushi chef-in-training (Rina Takeda) to use her karate skills to stop the sushi apocalypse. But this isn't going to be easy, as the sushi are evolving, learning how to breath fire, reproduce and use karate as well. Clearly this is the greatest movie of all time, causing all other supposed classics to bow down in submission to its awesome power. The director is known for his shock films, such as "Robogeisha", "Machine Gun Girl" and "Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead" (which I need to see NOW). 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 4, 2013)

*Death Race 3: Inferno (2013)*- Death Race is taken to Africa, where the previous protagonist (Carl/Frankenstein) must participate in more death races. Whereas its predecessor arguably is a step up from the original film, "Death Race 3" is about three steps down. The dialogue-oriented scenes are repetitive and the action is incomprehensible. Cool ending twist though. 

1.5/4


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## Morglay (Jul 4, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> *Dead Sushi (2012)*- When killer mutant zombie sushi attack the inhabitants of an inn, it's up to a sushi chef-in-training (Rina Takeda) to use her karate skills to stop the sushi apocalypse. But this isn't going to be easy, as the sushi are evolving, learning how to breath fire, reproduce and use karate as well. Clearly this is the greatest movie of all time, causing all other supposed classics to bow down in submission to its awesome power. The director is known for his shock films, such as "Robogeisha", "Machine Gun Girl" and "Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead" (which I need to see NOW).
> 
> 3/4



Watched this last night, calling it a masterpiece totally undersells it.


----------



## Roman (Jul 4, 2013)

Moglay said:


> Watched this last night, calling it a masterpiece totally undersells it.



That good? I might just check it out myself


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## MartialHorror (Jul 4, 2013)

YES! EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THE DEAD SUSHI!


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## Muk (Jul 4, 2013)

it sounds hilarious :rofl i'll check it out


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## MartialHorror (Jul 9, 2013)

*The Men Who Tread on the Tiger's Tail (1945)* - A clumsy porter decides to assist a group of samurai -who are disguised as Priests in order to guard their Lord- into a city. Despite being directed by Akira Kurosawa, very few people seem to know about it. That's probably because this is not one of his stronger efforts. With that said, it's not bad and it even has some exceptional moments. It has no action. In fact, this is a story where fighting means the samurai have failed their quest. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2013)

*Pacific Rim (2013)*- When giant monsters attack from the bottom of the Ocean, humanity builds giant robots in order to combat them. It's fun, but I guess I was expecting more. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2013)

*The Kid with the Golden Arm (1979)*- A group of heroes must protect a shipment of gold from a group of villains. Things become complicated when a third party begins picking them off too. Lots of kung fu ensues. One of the better flicks done by the Venom Mob (a popular troupe of martial artists), due to having better characters and a stronger story than the majority of their other works. But more importantly, there is a lot of action that contains top notch choreography, even if it is a little dated compared to what Jackie Chan could do at the time. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2013)

*Missionary Man (2007)*- Dolph Lundgren stars as Ryder, a drifter who enters town in order to attend the funeral of a friend. But he suspects foul play and asses will have to be kicked. Sort of a modern day interpretation of "Pale Rider", but it's not as good and it also borrows from "High Plains Drifter" and "Billy Jack". It's pretty mediocre, but I got to give the filmmakers credit for trying. Dolph is pretty awesome, at least. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 27, 2013)

*The Wolverine (2013)*- Wolverine goes to Japan to say goodbye to a dying friend, but instead finds himself with an offer he...well, apparently can refuse because he does. "To become mortal". But thats all interrupted when Yakuza, Ninja, Samurai, robots and Samurai Robots wish to take his friends granddaughter. He must protect her and fall in love in the process. It's more of a soap opera than it is an action blockbuster, but it's not bad I guess. It's just not what I want out of a Wolverine movie. It lacks epic, memorable moments which even the lesser predecessors had. 

2/4


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## bigduo209 (Jul 29, 2013)

I wonder how good 2 Guns is gonna be? It seems like a potentially fun buddy-cop movie.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2013)

I did a video review of it. I liked it. Here's Group G.

*El Gringo (2012)*- Scott Adkins stars as a man with no name, who wanders into town with lots of cash in a bag. This causes the corrupt sheriff, a gang and his old boss (Christian Slater) to hunt him down. It could've been a good movie, had the director not sabotaged it with awful cinematography, editing and stylistic touches. Shame, as the choreography was pretty solid. 

1/4


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## Math22ew (Aug 8, 2013)

It's for fans of horror and martial arts films.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2013)

*Elysium (2013)*- In the future, rich people live in a space haven known as Elysium, while the poor get nothing on Earth. When Max (Matt Damon) becomes sick with radiation poisoning and learns he only has 5 days to live, he realizes he must break into Elysium because they have the only cure. Great visuals, action and an underrated script. While it's less out there than the directors' previous flick, "District 9", I thought it was more focused. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2013)

*War of the Arrows (2011)*- A skilled archer must rescue his sister, who was captured and enslaved by invaders, who slaughtered his people. A south Korean film, which is set during the second Manchu invasion. It's an epic adventure/action movie, where the bulk of the combat is driven by archery. It sort of reminded me of "Apocalypto", although I don't think it's as good. Still, it's very entertaining. 

3/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Aug 19, 2013)

I read ur review of "man with the iron fists" or whatever after i watched the movie.  i didn't see any tits, weird.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 29, 2013)

*The Prodigal Son (1981)*- Biao Yuen learns he was conned into thinking he was a martial arts master and get trashed when confronted with the real deal- who happens to be an actor portraying a woman in a play. He begs to become the masters pupil, but he's refused into tragedy hits them all. Directed by Sammo Hung, who also makes an appearance, this provides some of the best kung fu action of the 80's- which provided the best kung fu action of all time. It's goofy sense of humor might throw you off though and I found myself frustrated by the disjointedness of the story. Still a fun film though. 

3/4


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## Wuzzman (Aug 29, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> *Elysium (2013)*- In the future, rich people live in a space haven known as Elysium, while the poor get nothing on Earth. When Max (Matt Damon) becomes sick with radiation poisoning and learns he only has 5 days to live, he realizes he must break into Elysium because they have the only cure. Great visuals, action and an underrated script. While it's less out there than the directors' previous flick, "District 9", I thought it was more focused.
> 
> 3.5/4




It was a 1/4 for me....


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## Uncle Acid (Aug 30, 2013)

I haven't seen it, but Elysium looks like one of the worst films ever. Same with Pacific Rim. And unless my girlfriend suddeny want to see them I'll never watch them either. Looks so bad I'm becoming quite sad just writing about it.


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## Roman (Aug 30, 2013)

Yeah, I can't say I'm too excited about Elysium. I might be seeing Riddick the weekend after the next.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2013)

*Zatoichi Meets the One-Armed Swordsman (1971)*- A mysterious one armed swordsman (played by Jimmy Wang Yu, reprising his role) travels to Japan only to find himself slaying some Samurai who were about to murder a child. Now he's on the run. When Blind swordsman Ichi stumbles upon the crime scene and finds the child, it becomes inevitable that these two will meet. But as friends or foes? It's a cross-over between "Zatoichi" and "The One-Armed Swordsman", but it is a Japanese production. Wang Yu looks like he's struggling to get used to the fight scenes. It's very flawed, but it's also one of my favorites because it's so damn entertaining and it doesn't blend in with the other entries. Even its flaws are endearing. 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Sep 3, 2013)

Nine more Zatoichi films and I'm watching Zatoichi Meets the One-Armed Swordsman, too. Can't wait, as I am a huge fan of the 13 first films, which all are excellent btw. But I've been busy watching Universal Monsters and Hammer Horror flicks for quite some while now.

Have you seen the original One-Armed Swordsman films? Thought both the first were amazing. Should watch the third one soon, too.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2013)

I've only seen the 1st one (). I wouldn't say it was amazing, but it was pretty good. I've also seen "Master of the Flying Guillotine", although I think that was a sequel to the "one Armed Boxer". Jimmy Wang Yu liked his one armed roles...


----------



## Uncle Acid (Sep 4, 2013)

Yeah, it's a sequel to One Armed Boxer. I'll have to watch both of those soon too. I have hugh expectations to both.

One armed roles only.


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## tinlunlau (Sep 17, 2013)

Saw Dante Lam's "Unbeatable" last weekend at the Toronto International Film Festival.  This flick will not disappoint you.  The UFC needs to pay attention to films like this rather than crap like the Kevin James flick "Here Comes the Boom".


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## MartialHorror (Sep 17, 2013)

*Belly of the Beast (2003)*- No, this is not about Steven Seagal's stomach! Seagal stars as an ex-CIA agent who must travel to Thailand in order to rescue his kidnapped daughter. One of Seagal's better direct-to-DVD flicks. It has pretty solid production values and the best martial arts choreography I've ever seen in a Seagal film, even if his body double is too obvious and the fights aren't always well framed. It has some really bad parts too, but these moments never take away from the films entertainment value. 

2.5/4


----------



## Grape (Sep 17, 2013)

Sometimes I wonder if your desire to watch horror films is because you find them incredibly humorous.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 21, 2013)

*Solomon Kane (2009)*- Solomon Kane is a former mercenary who decided to repent when the devil literally attempted to drag him to hell. But he must take up the sword again when a mysterious dark sorcerer threatens the country. Based on the books which were penned by the guy who also wrote the "Conan the Barbarian" series. In terms of narrative, it's actually kind of similar to the original "Conan" movie, even though neither are considered faithful to their source material. It's flawed, primarily because too much is going on and the special effects are iffy. But it's also really entertaining. James Purefoy is awesome as the titular character. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 23, 2013)

*Dynamite Warrior (2006)*- Dan Chupong stars as a warrior-thief who steals cattle and distributes it to the poor, while also hunting for his parents killer. He also incorporates rockets into his fighting style, which allows him to even ride on them! It turns out the man who murdered his family has mystical powers, so he has to track down a black wizard who can help him combat his lifelong enemy. It's more of a fantasy-adventure-action-comedy which happens to have some Muay Thai fighting than it is a Muay Thai flick. It's pretty fun, although it's also incredibly silly. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 1, 2013)

*Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla II (1993)*- After G-Force discovers the remains of the slain Mecha King Ghidorah, they use its corpse to form Mechagodzilla, whom they shall use to destroy Godzilla once and for all. But it's never that easy, especially as the Government has also just discovered an egg of a monster that might be related to the big lizard. Entertaining monster flick has mostly aged well, showcasing some pretty superb special effects. It's not as memorable as some of the other 90's Godzilla flicks though, making it only of my least favorites of the decade. Still good though. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 10, 2013)

*Kill Zone- S.P.L (2005)*- Simon Yam stars as a cop on the edge, who proceeds to fall off the edge when he learns he's dying from a brain tumor. He decides to break the law in order to bring down a ruthless crime boss portrayed by Sammo Hung. Unfortunately, another Inspector (Donnie Yen) has been assigned to his team and it turns out he doesn't quite agree with the methods of our protagonist. This was originally intended to be a crime drama, but then Donnie Yen was brought in and it was converted into a martial arts movie...sorta. It has some spectacular kung fu sequences, but there aren't enough fight scenes to qualify it as a kung fu flick. Still, pretty solid movie though. Directed by Wilson Yip, who would go on to helm the "Yip Man" films, which also starred Donnie Yen. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2013)

*Machete Kills (2013)*- Super badass action hero Machete (Danny Trejo) kills a bunch of people and smexes the ladies when he he's recruited by the President (Charlie Sheen, credited as Carlos Estevez) to stop a Nuclear holocaust perpetrated by a psychic named Voz (Mel Gibson). It has a much campier tone than its predecessor, but once you get past that, I thought it was reasonably entertaining. The problem is that it feels like the filmmakers are more interested in getting to the third entry, "Machete Kills Again...in Space!". 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2013)

*The Glimmer Man (1996)*- Steven Seagal and Keenan Ivory Wayans star as two detectives hunting for a serial killer, only to discover a more nefarious scheme. Part serial killer thriller, part buddy cop comedy...yeah...the tone is completely f@cked up. It doesn't really matter though, because over time, it devolves into a generic Steven Seagal actioner. Still, it's not a poorly made movie at least...

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 26, 2013)

*Godzilla Vs King Ghidorah (1991)*- Time travelers from the future arrive in the present day to get rid of Godzilla once and for all and succeed! But they replace him with King Ghidorah, so Japan realizes that they must resurrect Godzilla in order to combat this new menace. This works too, except now Godzilla is out of control, so they need to resurrect Ghidorah in order to combat this...old menace. This plot is fucking stupid, but at least it's entertainingly stupid. Otherwise, bad special effects, bland action and boring characters kept me from enjoying this entry. 

1.5/4


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## masamune1 (Oct 27, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Glimmer Man (1996)*- Steven Seagal and Keenan Ivory Wayans star as two detectives hunting for a serial killer, only to discover a more nefarious scheme. Part serial killer thriller, part buddy cop comedy...yeah...the tone is completely f@cked up. It doesn't really matter though, because over time, it devolves into a generic Steven Seagal actioner. Still, it's not a poorly made movie at least...
> 
> 2/4





> I will admit that initially, ?The Glimmer Man? provided me a?glimmer?of hope. I had never seen it before, so imagine my surprise when it was shaping up to be a serial killer killer, sort of like ?Se7en?. Steven Seagal Vs Serial Killers? F@CK YEAH! But then it began to shift into?buddy cop territory? Okay?Those two kinds of genres do not go very well together.



Isn't that exactly what _Se7en_ was, though? A buddy cop -serial killer movie (a much darker and more serious one than this, but still)?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2013)

masamune1 said:


> Isn't that exactly what _Se7en_ was, though? A buddy cop -serial killer movie (a much darker and more serious one than this, but still)?



I worded it badly, but the original review is clearer. It moves from serial killer thriller to buddy cop comedy. Although usually films listed as 'buddy cop' tend to be comedies anyway...lol.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2013)

*Gallowwalkers (2012)*- Wesley Snipes stars as a gunslinger who killed the bandits who raped his girlfriend (and ultimately died from it). He is then cursed by Satan, who declares that everyone he had murdered will rise from the dead. So Snipes has to atone by killing the men again. I liked the atmosphere, the characters and the settings, but the script is a disastrous mess. It reeks of poorly thought out rewrites. Still, I liked what worked quite a bit. Very uneven. This was the flick Wesley was making when he was charged with Tax fraud. 

2/4


----------



## Zhen Chan (Nov 2, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> *Solomon Kane (2009)*- Solomon Kane is a former mercenary who decided to repent when the devil literally attempted to drag him to hell. But he must take up the sword again when a mysterious dark sorcerer threatens the country. Based on the books which were penned by the guy who also wrote the "Conan the Barbarian" series. In terms of narrative, it's actually kind of similar to the original "Conan" movie, even though neither are considered faithful to their source material. It's flawed, primarily because too much is going on and the special effects are iffy. But it's also really entertaining. James Purefoy is awesome as the titular character.
> 
> 3/4



I generally like your reviews but I simply cannot abide by this one


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## MartialHorror (Nov 4, 2013)

*Dora-heita (2000)*- A magistrate, nicknamed Dora-heita, is assigned to clean up a town full of dangerous criminals. He's known as a womanizing slob, but he's actually a highly intelligent and skilled samurai who intends on destroying the Yakuza bosses and their ties with corrupt Government officials. Co-written by Akira Kurosawa (Rashomon), Kon Ichikawa (The Burmese Harp), Masaki Kobayashi (Hara-Kiri) and another director who I am not familiar with, it wasnt actually made until after three of them died. Ichikawa was the one who would direct it. It's a pretty fun samurai flick, but if you think these filmmakers only make classics on par with "The Seven Samurai", you will be disappointed. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2013)

*Disciples of Shaolin (1975)*- Alexander Fu Sheng stars as Guan, a country bumpkin who gets a job in the big city as a textile factory worker. His kung fu skills help the factory compete against a rival company, leading to him becoming a success. But over time, he becomes arrogant and this will eventually lead to his downfall. Will he able to redeem himself? Directed by Chang Cheh, who I swear has directed 80% of the kung fu flicks from the 70's, "Disciples of Shaolin" doesn't contain any reference to Shaolin. But it does try to be more than just a kung fu extravaganza, balancing drama, comedy, romance and tragedy. It gives us a little of everything, but not a lot of anything. It's decent, but underwhelming. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 12, 2013)

*Second in Command (2006)*- Jean-Claude Van Damme stars as a super awesome badass who must protect a U.S Embassy in a small country when they grant asylum to the ousted President. Unfortunately, that's not going to stop the bloodthirsty rebels. The "Assault on Precinct 13" setup is effectively utilized and the film is always engaging because there is always some sort of conflict happening on-screen. It's more about explosions and gun fights over martial arts, but despite being a direct-to-DVD flick, the spectacle was rather impressive. Nothing special, but us fans should enjoy it. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 18, 2013)

*Return to the 36th Chamber (1980)*- While this is a sequel to "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin", Gordon Liu has been re-cast as a con-artist who is pretending to be the character he played in the previous movie. When that ends in humiliation, he decides to become the real deal and train under the legendary monk (who Liu portrayed in the previous movie). It's much goofier than its predecessor, but I thought it provided plenty of laughs and the fight choreography is top notch. Yet there's a lot more going on within the story compared to the first film, which was one big training montage. I think it's an improved sequel, but many disagree. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 21, 2013)

*The One (2001)*- There are many different dimensions in the universe and each dimension has an alternate version of every human being. Whenever someone dies before their team, their life force enters the remaining versions- making them stronger, faster and smarter. An inter-dimensional police force keeps people from abusing this, but Gabriel Law (Jet Li) believes if he kills them all, he will become a god. Now he just has to kill Gabe Law (also Jet Li) to succeed, but Gabe also has grown stronger so it will be a big deal. It's one cool sequence after another, combining CGI, wire works and old school choreography masterfully. Too bad it's pretty stupid and has absolutely no desire to flesh out the characters or the story. Probably one of the better clones of "The Matrix". Plus, it stars Jason Statham...WHO HAS HAIR! EEP! 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 27, 2013)

*In the Name of the King II: Two Worlds (2011)*- Uwe Boll helms the sequel to the hit blockbuster film, "In the Name of the King", one of the finest epic fantasies of all time (I'm a troll). This direct-to-DVD sequel stars Dolph Lundgren as a haunted ex-special forces veteran who is sent back in time during the medieval ages, where he has to slay a witch and save the world. It's bad, but it's not abnormally bad. Uwe has done worse...

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 30, 2013)

*Vampires: The Turning (2005)*- A kickboxer vacationing in Thailand must rescue his girlfriend from a coven of vampires by...joining another coven of vampires! Even though it suffers from low production values and bad acting, it does successfully combine horror and martial arts. It can be creepy and suspenseful, but also showcases impressive martial arts. But it is very flawed...Billed as an official sequel to John Carpenter's "Vampires" and "Vampires: Los Muertos", even though it's not to be considered as such. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 12, 2013)

*Bulletproof Monk (2003)*- An immortal monk (Chow Yun-Fat) mentors a young pick pocket (Seann William Scott), so that he can replace him as the protector of an ancient scroll- which is currently being hunted by Nazi's. Yes, you heard that right, Nazi's...What sounds like an amazing concept is ruined by a flimsy script and bad fighting scenes- which suck primarily due to the use of awkward CGI and wire effects. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 14, 2013)

*The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)*- Bilbo Baggins and his new dwarf friends continue their adventure, encountering plenty of obstacles along the way to reclaim their underground Kingdom from a dragon. It's much more fast paced than all of its predecessors, being less about mood and atmosphere and emphasizing action and excitement. One major action set piece almost immediately follows another. You'll either like this new approach or not, but I dug it myself. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 18, 2013)

*Ip Man: The Final Fight (2013)*- Another Ip Man movie, directed and penned by the people who gave us "The Legend is Born: Ip Man". This Ip Man is played by Anthony Wong, who does great, but somehow manages to be underutilized thanks to the confused and disjointed writing. This film can't decide whether it wants to be about Ip Man or his students, what the primary conflict is supposed to be or really...just what it's about. The plot seems to be constantly morphing. Unfocused and scatterbrained are terms which come to mind. However, it's also slickly produced and the fight scenes are shockingly good. Eric Tsang has a small role too. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2013)

*Tai Chi Zero (2012)*- A warrior known as 'freak' has the potential to be the greatest warrior of all time, but needs to learn kung fu from a mysterious, martial arts-centric village- who refuse to teach outsiders. But he's about to save them from a violent feud so...the movie just stops. Despite reviewers emphasizing the steam-punk elements and the similar style of "Scott Pilgrim Vs the World" of the film, the film itself doesn't emphasize those elements. It's a relatively normal kung fu comedy that occasionally dips into something different. It's pretty fun anyway, but it feels like half of a film instead of a whole...primarily because it is. The story continues in "Tai Chi Hero", but the abrupt ending annoyed me more than excited me for part 2. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2013)

*47 Ronin (2013)*- Keanu Reeves stars as Kai, a half-breed (white guy) with mystical powers (the inability to fail) who must lead former Samurai in a battle against a tyrant and his witch. They take the true story and add mighty whitey, dragons, monsters, witches and demons...AWESOME! Well, except it isn't. Somehow, despite being so daft, it's kind of boring. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2014)

MartialHorror releases his Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2013 list. But Beware! 2013 Blows! 

His Worst Movies of 2013 List: 

His Most Read Reviews of 2013 List:


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## MartialHorror (Jan 11, 2014)

*The Legend of Hercules (2014)*- Hercules has to fight a war, fight as a gladiator and fight in a rebellion in order to save his girlfriend from marrying another dude...oh, and save a Kingdom in the process. The story is boring, the characters are boring, the actors are boring and even the action is pretty boring. The only highlight is Scott Adkins as the villain, who steals the show. He produced the best acting and fight scenes, so why wasn't he Hercules? Because "The Legend of Hercules" sucks. That's why. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 14, 2014)

*Tai Chi Hero (2012)*- The continuation to "Tai Chi Zero" has the protagonist continuing to learn kung fu from his new bride, who's not thrilled with her new role. But past villains still want to raze the kung fu-centric village and they decide to use another one of the villages past mistakes against them. The hyperactive flash and style of the first film has been toned down, but the story seems to have become more scatterbrained in the process. It's less memorable than "Tai Chi Zero", but also feels more mature and some scenes really got to me on an emotional level. 

2.5/4


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## gumby2ms (Jan 23, 2014)

yo. noticed you haven't watched protector 2 yet. warning it bad, but might be so bad it's good. cheese, seems they got some Bollywood inspiration. (and rza)

though raid 2 seems set to blow our minds. all good from the sundance.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 23, 2014)

I wasn't even aware it was out.

*General Stone (1977)*- A man destined to be a hero and the product of a deranged affair between a woman and a statue...I'm dead fucking serious...has to train with his Father (General Stone; get it?) and other living statues in order to become strong enough so he can overthrow a corrupt regime. It's pretty bad, but in a way that's consistently entertaining.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 26, 2014)

*I, Frankenstein (2014)*- Frankenstein's Monster (Aaron Eckhart) survives the events of the tale and continues to live through modern times, but learns he is the key to determining the outcome of a war between demons and gargoyles. It's the type of movie that can only really be tolerated if you leave your brain outside of the theater. The problem is that one you retrieve it when the film is over, you realize how bad the movie really is. At least it's better than "The Legend of Hercules" and "47 Ronin" though, if that even means anything. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 29, 2014)

*Man of Tai Chi (2013)*- Tiger Chen stars as...Tiger Chen, a humble Tai Chi expert who wants to prove that his style can be taken seriously as a combat art. This catches the attention of Donaka (Keanu Reeves), an underground fighting organizer, who wishes to exploit those good intentions. Tiger reluctantly decides to fight in Donaka's matches, but begins to lose himself in the process...While flawed, the film showcases awesome fight sequences and Reeves- who also directed this feature- provides a cool visual style as well. Somehow, the bad Keanu movie of 2013 got the wide release while this one was dumped straight to DVD (after a limited theatrical run). 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 1, 2014)

*Shinobi no Mono 4: Siege (1964)*- Raizo Ichikawa stars as the legendary ninja Saizo, who becomes dedicated to the cause of Yukimura Sanada, the enemy of Shogun Tokugawa. He must assassinate the Shogun, but Tokugawa has employed ninja of his own. After the boring previous two sequels, which were more history lessons than dramatic films, this one puts the franchise back on track. It's still dense with information and is often hard to follow, but the action is fun and it moves at a brisk pace. Also known as "The Ninjas 4: Siege". 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2014)

*Ninja II: Shadow of a Tear (2013)*- Scott Adkins reprises his role as Casey, a retired ninia who is trying to settle down with his pregnant wife. But when another ninja murders her, he must return to his ninja roots in order to take revenge. The first "Ninja" was pretty fun, but this sequel corrects the majority of its weaknesses while also improving on its strengths. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2014)

*Life Gamble (1979)*- An ensemble of warriors, each with vastly different relationships, backgrounds, motives and fighting styles scheme against each-other in order to acquire a very expensive jade. They decide to have a 'gambling' match in order to determine who gets it, but that doesn't stop them from sharpening their blades. Despite being directed by Chang Cheh, known for his minimalist direction, this is quite a sophisticated kung fu flick in regards to the direction, cinematography, story and overall production values. Alexander Fu Sheng and the Venom Mob fill out the majority of the cast. 

3.5/4


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## Violence (Mar 2, 2014)

*Ninja:  Silent Assassin (1987)* When police officer Alvin loses both his star witness and his wife to  drug kingpin (and ninja assassin) Rudolph, he vows to get revenge.  Travelling to Hong Kong, hot on Rudolph's trail, he teams up with local  investigators Gordon, Vivian and Jackie. Meanwhile, a young street punk  named Edmund is hunting for the man who killed his father.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2014)

Why is it 2/4? Uneven? Mediocre? Not bad but not you're thing? Guilty pleasure?


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 2, 2014)

Or because it's not a very good film, but its stupidity and awfulness makes it somewhat entertaining?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Dead Zone (1989)*- This was the first 'movie' adaptation of the popular Dragonball anime, although it's only 40 minutes long, so it's more of a short. Goku, the worlds strongest martial artist, must team up with his (current) rival Picollo in order to defeat a tyrant named Garlic Jr- who has acquired immortality thanks to the wish granting dragon balls. What little plot can be found in this feature will only make sense to fans of the series. But those fans should love this, as it boasts awesome fight scenes and shockingly good animation (when compared to the TV show). 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 8, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: The World's Strongest (1990)*- A mad scientist in an incredibly powerful robotic body desires to have the body of the significantly weaker martial artist Goku...This plot makes no f@cking sense...The animation, the fighting, the pacing and even the voice dubbing quality are all a step down from "Dead Zone" as well. The fight scenes are still kind of enjoyable and it's cool seeing Master Roshi kick that ass one more time, but I was left unsatisfied. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 11, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: The Tree of Might (1991)*- Aliens land on Earth and plant a mystical tree, which promptly devours all of the planets resources. It's up to Earth's mightiest warriors, lead by Goku, to stop them. In many ways, this is the best of the movies SO FAR- as it has a more epic storyline and more threatening villains. However, the animation style often lets it down and the fights themselves are too one-sided (and off-screen). Still, the pacing is about perfect and I was thoroughly entertained. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 19, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Lord Slug (1991)*- A space nomad known as Lord Slug attacks Earth, desiring to use the dragonballs to acquire Eternal Youth before converting the planet into his own personal spaceship. A rushed and dull project that doesn't try to be anything more than a simple cash-grab, presumably to capitalize on the success of "The Tree of Might" (both were released in 1991). My least favorite of the DBZ movies. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 23, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Cooler's Revenge (1991)*- Cooler, a space tyrant, discovers that his brother was slain by the Universe's greatest hero, Goku. He wants revenge. It's virtually plotless, even by DBZ standards and Cooler is a disappointing villain. He's well written, but despite being the so called more powerful brother of Frieza, he doesn't ever show it. But the big draw is the action and it's awesome. The fights are nicely animated and the techniques are surprisingly creative. It's also very well paced. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: The Return of Cooler (1992)*- Cooler survived the events of the last film, because his remains were assimilated by the Big Gete Star- a planet/spaceship hybrid. Now reborn as Metal Cooler, he attacks Namek. Goku and his friends decide to intervene...Lots of fighting ensues. It's serviceable for what it is, but I felt it could've been more. It has a premise that's too cool for a serial film. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 1, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Super Android 13! (1992)*- After Dr. Gero was killed by his own creations, his computer unleashes three more androids who target Goku. There's virtually no story, but the action is really good and the production values were impressive. Because it doesn't have any real inspired ideas, I didn't feel there was any wasted potential, so was fine with this simple approach. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 5, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Broly- The Legendary Super Saiyan (1993)*- Vegeta is lured to a desolate planet by a suspicious Saiyan named Paragus so he can defeat the Legendary Super Saiyan- who is terrorizing the galaxy. Goku, Gohan, Trunks and Picollo choose to follow (not at the same time and not for the same reasons) and discover that the monster in question is Broly, the son of Paragus. But can they overcome this menacing foe? Depending on who you ask, it's either the best DBZ serial film or the most overrated. I personally love it! 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 8, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Bojack Unbound (1993)*- Gohan and his friends enter a tournament where the winners must fight aliens. It's a staged event, but things turn sour when real aliens attack! It's very uneven, containing good animations, a cool visual style and solid fight scenes...but it also wastes its supporting cast, has boring villains and characters tend to stand around and watch fights instead of joining the battles as well. You'll either like or dislike it based on your preferences. I liked it. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2014)

*The Raid 2: Berandal (2014)*- Rama goes undercover and infiltrates a notorious crime family in order to weed out corrupt cops. It's just as epic as its predecessor, but in a much different way. Whereas "The Raid" was about nonstop, intense action sequences. This one has the intense action sequences, but balances that with character and plot, while also boasting much better direction and cinematography. I thought it was amazing, but the shift in focus might turn some viewers off. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 15, 2014)

*IMPORTANT UPDATE ON MY WRITTEN REVIEWS*! All my freewebs pages have been frozen, so I plan on slowly re-uploading everything to my new websites. For all old reviews, I will simply replace the obsolete link with the new one. I might re-review some titles I find to be obsolete, or will at least polish them up. For more information, go here:


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## Zhen Chan (Apr 15, 2014)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Raid 2: Berandal (2014)*- Rama goes undercover and infiltrates a notorious crime family in order to weed out corrupt cops. It's just as epic as its predecessor, but in a much different way. Whereas "The Raid" was about nonstop, intense action sequences. This one has the intense action sequences, but balances that with character and plot, while also boasting much better direction and cinematography. I thought it was amazing, but the shift in focus might turn some viewers off.
> 
> 4/4



Ahahahahahahahahaha

Yes my brother!


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## MartialHorror (Apr 17, 2014)

*Force of Execution (2013)*- Bren Foster plays a retired, crippled enforcer who must return to the battlefield when an ambitious gangster (Ving Rhames) conspires against the more honorable crimelord (Steven Seagal)- who was formerly the employer of our hero. The plot is a mess, but the cast has fun and Foster shows off some solid Taekwondo skills. Serviceable direct-to-DVD action/thriller. 

2/4


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## wibisana (Apr 17, 2014)

Dude what is you top 3 favorite all time?
here are mines each movie bit different than the others

1. Super hero best fight scene : watchmen
Zack Sneider style combined with cool choreography and Gore was really fun for me

2. general action/fight movie : Book of Eli.
the style (tunnel fight) and bar fight was so badass

3. Traditional Martial art movie :  Fist of Legend (Jet Li 1994)
in modern day we had Indonesian martial art (The raid) that is quite similar (style etc) but I think this was better since The raid use modern cinematography (speed up the speed, editing) so the punch so fast and more intense.
but Jet Li didn't need that stuffs back then the fight just epic.

can you comment about these?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 18, 2014)

I like all three of those movies. As for my own, it's hard to say. "Watchmen" probably does have the best fight scenes of all the comic book movies. For general action, um...not sure...I need to think about that. For traditional martial arts, I think I'd go with "Drunken Master 2".


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## MartialHorror (Apr 20, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Broly- Second Coming (1994)*- Broly survived the events of "Broly- The Legendary Super Saiyan" and he wants vengeance. Unfortunately, Goku is dead so it's up to Gohan, Goten and Trunks to stop the brutish Saiyan. I thought this movie sucked, having shitty animation quality, slow paced fight scenes and an annoying comedic tone. Even worse, they totally ruined the character of Broly. My least favorite DBZ flick. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 23, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Bio-Broly (1994)*- Mr. Satan is blackmailed by an old rival into fighting newly created bio-warriors. Mr. Satan reluctantly agrees and brings Android 18 (and indirectly, Trunks and Goten) to assist him. But it turns out their old nemesis Broly has been cloned, so fighting ensues. I think this is easily the most underrated DBZ serial flick and it's MUCH better than its predecessor. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Fusion Reborn (1995)*- Goku is chilling in the afterlife when a mysterious being (nicknamed by the fandom as Janemba) breaks the barrier between life and death, allowing dead tyrants (including Frieza and Hitler) to resurrect. It's up to the gang to stop them all. One of the stranger DBZ movies, having a different animation style, a bizarre comedic tone and lots of homoeroticism (the dubbing cast have a lot of fun with this), but that helps the film stand out. My only major issue is that the plot is sort of wasted...  

2.5/4


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## Narutossss (Apr 28, 2014)

you going through the dbz movies, I hope you enjoy evolution


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## MartialHorror (May 1, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Wrath of the Dragon (2013)*- A mysterious imp tricks Goku and the gang into releasing a dragon who threatens the universe. Can they- along with a new hero- stop it in time? For along time, this was the last DBZ flick, so the studios seemingly put more money and effort into it. The animation quality is amazing and the battles are exciting, but the writing is often frustratingly stupid. So it's kind of a mixed bag, although many believe it to be one of the stronger serial films. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 5, 2014)

*Battle of the Damned (2013)*- Dolph Lundgren stars as Max Gatling, a mercenary hired to infiltrate a zombie infested city in order to rescue the daughter of a wealthy man. it's a fun- but standard- zombie movie until for absolutely no reason, they throw killer robots into the mix...immediately making this the greatest movie ever made! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 8, 2014)

*Dragonball Z: Battle of Gods (2013)*- Goku and the warriors of Earth are visited by Bills, the god of destruction- who very likely will destroy their planet. Fighting and comedy ensues. Light hearted, funny DBZ movie that is fueled by nostalgia...which mostly makes up for misguided CGI, continuity errors and some questionable writing. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 22, 2014)

*Chinese Zodiac (2012)*- J.C (Jackie Chan) sort of reprises his role from the "Armor of God" movies (it's unclear whether this is a sequel, spiritual sequel or reboot) as he hunts for the 12 bronze heads of the Chinese Zodiac. While it was panned by critics, I thought this was fun. It's a throwback to something Jackie would've done in the 90's, emphasizing exotic locations, a sense of adventure and gimmicky action set pieces over plot or traditional kung fu. Although while I thought the fight choreography was still good, I will concede that the plot was a mess. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 5, 2014)

*Zatoichi in Desperation (1972)*- Blind swordsman Ichi accidentally causes the death of a woman, so decides to rescue her daughter from a life of prostitution. The Yakuza don't like that. This is just one of many subplots however, in one of the more padded Zatoichi movies out there. Lots of story-threads, lots of characters, lots of unnecessary artsy shots and lots of...sex...But there are a lot of things which stand out, a very important attribute when your franchise is so damn repetitive. The fight scenes are also really good, even though this isn't an action packed flick. Overall, it's okay. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 10, 2014)

*The Grandmaster (2013)*- Famed Kung Fu master Ip Man (Tony Leung) sparks a rivalry/romance with Gong Er (Zhang Ziyi), but their lives take a drastic turn for the worse when World War II ends the golden era of martial arts. They struggle adapting to their new lifestyles. Even though there is more martial arts action than the critics indicated, this is more of an artistically made high brow drama than it is a kung fu spectacle. Director Kar Wai Wong is a visual director and the imagery is perfect- looking gorgeous, but having deeper meanings. But the script is unfocused and messy. The cut I watched is apparently a butchered version of the original, so presumable the Hong Kong cut is superior. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 15, 2014)

*The Iron-Fisted Monk (1977)*- Sammo Hung stars as a monk-in-training who desires revenge against the Manchu's for killing his uncle, but he ends up getting dragged into someone elses revenge story. It's funny and provides lots of amazing martial arts sequences, but it's dragged down by unnecessary, gratuitous, graphic rape scenes which violate the tone. Shame, as it would be perfect otherwise. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2014)

*In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission (2014)*- Dominic Purcell stars as a hitman who is transported back in time to the middle ages. He must slay a tyrant acting as King, battle a dragon and save a Kingdom...although the movie is nowhere near as epic as that sounds. Director Uwe Boll has adopted a 'get it done as quickly and cheaply as possible' mentality, which has made a victim out of "In the Name of the King 3". At least Boll's more infamous movies were kind of memorable and unique in their badness. This one is just really boring and forgettable. 

1/4


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## Yasha (Jul 2, 2014)

Have you seen Apocalypto?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2014)

Yes...I've told you this many times, lol.


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## Yasha (Jul 3, 2014)

Oops. Guess I just love the movie so much I keep on recommending it to people.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2014)

*Forbidden City Cop (1996)*- Stephen Chow ("Kung Fu Hustle") stars as an Imperial Agent who specializes in his inventions, having little-to-no interest in kung fu. Luckily, his unique skill set becomes useful when he stumbles onto a plot to assassinate the emperor. This comedy-kung fu flick is...weird. It's really weird, but I laughed when I was supposed to laugh and the fights were pretty inventive and exciting. It's not for everyone, but I loved it. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 27, 2014)

*Seven Swords (2005)*- Seven warriors (one played by Donnie Yen) with mystical swords decide to protect a village from a bunch of bloodthirsty mercenaries. Visionary director Tsui Hark conceived this project as a four hour epic, which was predictably sliced down to a 2 and a half hour running-time, which means too much substance was lost. Yet strangely, he leaves in the remnants of 'edited out' subplots, which do nothing but bloat the running-time. You'd think directors would figure out that no studio wants to release a four hour long movie...I was usually bored and the action underwhelmed me. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 3, 2014)

*Scorpion Thunderbolt (1988)*- A GODFREY HO MOVIE! Ho was notorious for purchasing obscure, unreleased or unfinished films and re-editing them while shooting additional footage of white people who barely interacted with the original stories. In the case of this one, he took "Grudge of the Sleepwalking Woman" (Taiwanese flick)- which is about a snake woman terrorizing the streets- and added scenes of Richard Harrison fighting people. Individually, the stories are disjointed and unfocused. Together, they don't make any sense. This review contains my thoughts towards "A Dog Called Vengeance" and "Ark of the Sun God", which were also contained on the same DVD (called "Eye on Horror"). 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 7, 2014)

*Dragon Tiger Gate (2006)*- Donnie Yen and Nicholas Tse star as two brothers who were split apart as children and have taken vastly different paths, but must unite against a common threat. Many like this movie, but I didn't. After a strong first act, it tries its hand at drama, which kills the pace and lacks any kind of substance. The finale feels like it belongs in a completely different movie. So I thought it was dumb. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2014)

*Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)*- The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- who are Mutated turtle teenagers skilled in the art of ninjutsu, if you couldn't tell- must battle a robotic samurai named Shredder...Trust me, it's much more boring than it sounds. The action is non-stop, but while it isn't poorly executed, nothing stood out as exceptional. Every other summer blockbuster of 2014 delivered better and grander action sequences, so all we're left to chew on is the excessive stupidity of the project. Even nostalgia can't keep this turd afloat. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2014)

*The Expendables 3 (2014)*- The Expendables disband so Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) can recruit newer faces in order to fight an old ally-turned enemy (Mel Gibson) and presumably to piss off established fans. Either you like the Expendables gimmick or you don't, but new- and by new, I mean unknown- faces arent going to attract broader audiences. But the script ends up being bloated and unfocused thanks to this stupid marketing ploy and the PG-13 declaws the action. Still, it's not a poorly made action movie and whenever the Expendables, Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderes or Wesley Snipes are on-screen together, it can be pretty enjoyable. 

2/4


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## masamune1 (Aug 18, 2014)

I have to say, I had fun with that movie, and the theatre I was in had a lot of fun as well judging by all the laughs.


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## wibisana (Aug 18, 2014)

Banderas is so cool, Mel Gibson is not bad, tho he didn't hav enough screen time
Snipes just meh, I mean they should have Kotsner instead Snipe

btw overall the movie is meh, I enjoy 2nd movie better just because he have Chuck Norris in it


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## MartialHorror (Aug 19, 2014)

Costner would be an interesting choice, although they'd have to completely rewrite the role. I wouldn't be able to see him doing those acrobatics or knifeplay. He'd have to be a gunslinger. If they make an Expendables 4, I think he would be a good villain.


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## masamune1 (Aug 19, 2014)

I thought Snipes was _awesome;_ I only wish they used him more. 

_Expendables 4_ is in the works; Pierce Brosnan and friggin' Hulk Hogan are both in talks.

Or were, at least- the film is getting butchered at the box office, though that is probably because it was leaked as much as anything else.

On another note...

http://www.theguardian.com/film/201...egger-jet-li-characters-expendables-3-are-gay



> The director of The Expendables 3, Patrick Hughes, has confirmed internet speculation that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jet Li play gay lovers in the action sequel.
> 
> Interviewed by grantland.com, the Australian film-maker was asked if a scene at the end of the movie, in which the Hollywood legend cuddles up to China's famous martial arts hero, meant the pair's characters were in a relationship. His response: "I believe they are."
> 
> ...



Well, good for them.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 19, 2014)

haha, I actually pointed out the homo-eroticism in my video review. I totally ship that pairing.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2014)

*Unleashed (2005)*- Bart (Bob Hoskins) is a thug who has raised Danny (Jet Li) to literally be his attack dog. But when his master is attacked and left for dead, Danny wanders off and is taken in by the kindly Sam (Morgan Freeman), who teaches him how to be a human. Yeah, this sounds cheesy, but the drama is sincere and Jet Li acts more like an underdeveloped child than an actual dog. I thought the actors did a great job at playing their already interesting characters and the fights- when they occur- were riveting. It's one of the few martial arts movies I think anyone can enjoy. 

3.5/4


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## Vault (Sep 4, 2014)

When are you watching Daggers 8 already MH


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2014)

Vault said:


> When are you watching Daggers 8 already MH



It's on the saved section of my netflix account, which means they currently don't have any copies. I swear I'll watch it when it's available. (I try to avoid illegal downloads).


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## Vault (Sep 4, 2014)

What you're asking for is damn near impossible.  You might have to find a dvd somewhere lol 

There are many rare kung fu flicks which are damn near hard to find that Netflix will never have them. Daggers 8 is quite rare.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 24, 2014)

*The Protector 2 (2013)*- Also known as "Tom yum goong 2" and "Warrior King 2", this is the sequel to the 2005 Tony Jaa vehicle. Jaa returns as Kham, who has to rescue his elephant AGAIN because it is kidnapped by RZA...But then he gets framed for murder and is chased by gangsters, martial artists, cops and Jeeja Yanin ("Chocolate", "Raging Phoenix")- who was related to the man Kham supposedly killed. "The Protector 2" doesn't take itself very seriously, although the people who reviewed it took it too seriously. It's intended to be absurd and silly! The fights are nicely choreographed, but the violence is toned down. Fans obviously did not appreciate these changes, but I enjoyed myself. JeeJa Yanin is criminally underused though. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 8, 2014)

*South Shaolin Vs North Shaolin (1984)*- Also known as "North and South Shaolin", this Korean (?) imitation of a Hong Kong movie is part of a 'Fistful of Kung Fu' box-set (which also contained the amazing "General Stone"). Casanova Wong stars as a Monk who gets caught up in an overly complicated plot where bad guys are trying to slay a Prince, who turns out to be the Monks brother. The story is hard to follow because the writer seems to constantly change his mind as to what he wants the movie to be about (example: Despite being set up, North and South Shaolin monks never fight on-screen). The choreography is good, but it's undermined by excessive under-cranking and sloppy editing. Overall, it's just subpar. 

1.5/4


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## Vault (Oct 8, 2014)

Martial you have seen Born Invincible and or Mars Villa ?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 8, 2014)

Nope, although Born Invincible is in my netflix queue. Is Mars Villa any good?


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## Vault (Oct 9, 2014)

I only recommend the quality shit Martial. You should watch Born Invincible, classical villain is classical. He is ghost face killer levels of iconic. Mars is also a goodie


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## MartialHorror (Oct 9, 2014)

alrighty. Will add it.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2014)

*The Five Deadly Venoms (1978)*- An inexperienced pupil, studying under the five deadly venom styles, is sent by his master to investigate his five predecessors- whom are all masters of one of the venom styles- and see if they are using their skills honorably. It turns out that some are and some aren't, but all of them are trying to find the same treasure, so there's going to be clashing. While the kung fu is good, it's upstaged by an engaging story and well written characters. The action is merely icing on the cake. Directed by Chang Cheh. 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 16, 2014)

Fantastic film. Everything about it is top notch. I've given it 9/10.

Chang Cheh, man. This man knew how to make martial arts flicks. Martial arts films just doesn't get much better than Chang Cheh at his best. I haven't seen nearly enough Chang Cheh films, though. But all the films I've seen have been great. Magic!


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## Vault (Oct 16, 2014)

Lizard was the MVP


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2014)

*Revenge of the Drunken Master (1984)*- A rare Godfrey Ho film that doesn't look like it was comprised of footage from two separate films, although I still had no idea what was going on. My latest conquest of the 'Fistful of Kung Fu' box-set is about a young, stupid martial artist being stupid, which forces him to get involved in a stupid story where he must team up with a heroic cop who rapes a stupid girl who falls in love with him. Fuck this stupid movie. 

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2014)

*Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance (1972)*- The Shogun's executioner (Tomisaburo Wakayama) has one of those bad days we can all relate too when he has to kill a kid, finds his own wife murdered and is framed as a traitor by the mysterious Shadow Yagyu clan. He takes his young son and becomes an assassin, swearing vengeance...but first takes a job that involves him killing real traitors and the bandits they are hiring. This is a re-review and I promise that my second writing is far superior to what I originally did. The movie itself is awesome, delivering cool visuals, lots of gore and intense sword fighting. 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 27, 2014)

+1! The Lone Wolf & Cub-series are one of the best films series of all time. Close to perfect, actually.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2014)

*Kamui (2009)*- a Ninja abandons his violent lifestyle and finds himself pursued by his former allies. He attempts to settle down in a fishing village, but his old life doesn't want to give him up this quickly. You'd think a film where ninja pirates fight CGI sharks would be amazing...and it sometimes is. But it has a very disjointed and unfocused storyline. It also takes itself too seriously when it comes to the drama. Based off a very influential manga. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 11, 2014)

*A Good Man (2014)*- Steven Seagal plays Steven Seagal with a sword, hunting down gangsters. I'm not really sure how a vigilante with traits of a serial killer is a good man, but I know that "A Good Man" is not a very good movie. Typical Seagal fare. He's done worse though...much worse... 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 18, 2014)

*Crippled Avengers (1978)*- Another Chang Cheh movie starring the Venom Mob! This campy kung fu cult classic is about a handicapped master becoming drunk with power and crippling those who cross him. His victims learn kung fu, overcoming their disadvantages and choose the path of vengeance! It's pretty silly, but the action choreography is excellent! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 28, 2014)

*Young Detective Dee: Rise of the Sea Dragon (2013)*- Hark Tsui directs this prequel to "Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame", although Carina Lau is the only cast member to reprise a role. Dee investigates two cases of Sea Dragons- one being human-sized and the other as big as a Kaiju- and discovers a conspiracy. The first film was better and much more memorable, but this was fun too. Nonstop action and a never-ending stream of cool visuals. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2014)

*Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons (2013)*- Stephen Chow- of "Kung Fu Hustle" fame- directs (but not stars) in this loose adaptation/prequel of the famous Chinese novel. A Young Monk must find the Monkey King, but he encounters many allies and enemies in the process. Wild, erratic and thoroughly unpredictable, I had a blast with this kung fu fantasy. It can be funny, sad, terrifying, romantic, inspiring and sweet all at once. The awesome visuals, slick fight scenes and breezy pacing only add to the entertainment level. 

4/4


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## Vault (Dec 15, 2014)

Yasha told me to watch it as he said it was amazing. I didn't believe him until I watched it for myself  it's soooo good. Was surprised, didn't like the demon angle for Zhu Bajie and Wukong though nonetheless it was a great fun film


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## Yasha (Dec 15, 2014)

Vault, you doubted my taste in Asian cinema? :amazed

The CGI was bad-ish (which is why the trailer turned many people away, which I can understand), but the film was actually pretty story-driven.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2014)

The CGI didn't bother me because everything was so...outlandish and stylized in an anime-ish kind of way. The only weak special effect was, imo, was the boar- which needed to have a more wild design like the demon fish.


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## Vault (Dec 16, 2014)

I know Yasha I failed by doubting  you can't blame me though, the trailer didn't inspire much optimism.  

I think the CGI was saved for the last big action scenes. The trailer was cut really poorly imo. Thought it was really a mockery of Journey to the West but nope it was a good film which was also surprisingly really touching  and funny I actually laughed a lot during the film.


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## Uncle Acid (Dec 16, 2014)

I thought Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons had a great stoy, good characters, it was fun and had a good cast, but the CGI were awful and ruined so much of the experience. The CGI wasn't even close to decent. It's so fucking bad and it looked so amateurish it just annoyed me throughout the whole film. Nothing is worse than poor CGI. Give me poor, practical special effects and poor miniatures instead. And least those can be charmining, which is a huge plus.

Both Shu Qi and Wen Zhang were fantastic though.

A potential 8/10 drawn down to 6/10 by painful CGI. It's sad.


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## Vault (Dec 16, 2014)

No more practical effects in Asian cinema these days  everything is poor CGI. I miss the new wave wuxia era. The practical effects were really well done. I can't even sit through an episode of these new series not to mention how everything looks so clean and sterile now. The immersion is completely gone, this is meant to be ancient times but now it just looks like a set. Smh


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## MartialHorror (Dec 18, 2014)

*The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)*- The conclusion of the Hobbit Trilogy begins with the death of Smaug the Dragon. Now the humans and elves want a taste of that Dwarven treasure, but Thortin- driven mad with greed- wont have any of it. Yet they must all align when an army of orcs attack. It's just one big thrilling action sequence, which is awesome, but it lacks the substance of its predecessors. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2014)

*Tekken 2: Kazuya's Revenge (2014)*- Kazuya (Kane Kosugi) wakes up with amnesia in a futuristic world that looks awfully like the present and finds himself being forced to work as an assassin. Does this sound like the video games? No. It doesn't even fit within the continuity of the first film. This might be the worst movie of 2014 AND THAT SAYS A LOT! 

0.5/4


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## Linkofone (Dec 26, 2014)

There was a Tekken movie?


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## MartialHorror (Dec 28, 2014)

*Samaritan Zatoichi (1968)*- Blind swordsman Zatoichi kills an innocent man, so vows to protect his victims sister. This brings him in direct conflict with Yakuza, corrupt Government Officials and a vicious Ronin- all who want her. But she might have desire for vengeance as well and she knows that Ichi is the culprit. The 19th entry within this franchise is an excellent one. Excellent action choreography, cool visual ideas and Ichi shows his darker side. 

3.5/4


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## Sanity Check (Dec 29, 2014)

Linkofone said:


> There was a Tekken movie?



I think there are at least 5.

_Tekken Blood Vengeance_ might be the best.  Its tough to say as I've tried to repress the memory of watching most of them.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 29, 2014)

> There was a Tekken movie?



Whoops, missed this. There was a 2010 Tekken film, this new 2014 prequel to that. There was an anime film/OVA from the 90's, a CG adaptation called Blood Vengeance and a HK version except they couldn't get the rights so they had to change the names (Was it the Avenging Fist?)


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## Linkofone (Dec 29, 2014)

Oh. Ew.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 30, 2014)

I don't count this as an official review, as these days I do try to stay within the boundaries of martial arts or horror, but I reviewed "The Enforcer" (Dirty Harry 3) on facebook.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2015)

My 'Favorite Movies of 2014' is up! Twas a week year, admittedly, but 8 films stole my heart.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 11, 2015)

The Worst Movies of 2014, as according to MartialHorror, is up!


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## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2015)

*Black Lion: Fear the Black Lion (1992)*- An anime OVA about generic ninja taking on a freaking robot in a world where feudal Japan has access to futuristic technology. It exists to spawn a followup, which never came, so the story makes absolutely no sense. The animation quality is crude, but the film does benefit from an unsettling atmosphere, gory kills and crazy visual ideas. It's bad, but I guess it's the kind of bad that I can enjoy...a little... 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 25, 2015)

*Dragon Eyes (2012)*- Cung Le ("Pandorum") stars as a martial artist who wants to clean up the streets of a corrupt town. Jean-Claude Van Damme has an extended cameo as his teacher, although the marketing wants you to think that this is a Van Damme movie. It attempts to create a unique visual style is unconventional with its storytelling techniques, but none really work out- making it easy to chalk "Dragon Eyes" up as a failed experiment. The ending makes me wonder if the production ran out of money prematurely, as it's pretty horrendous. At least the fight scenes are good though. 

2/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 10, 2015)

You seen the Shinobi no Mono series? Eight old school ninja films starring Raizo Ichikawa who portrais 3-4 different characters through the whole series. I watched the eight and last film yesterday, and I must admit I was very impressed with the whole series. I'd say the weakest film is a 8- for me, and the two best are 9+ and the others somewhere inbetween. So the quality is extremely high throughout the series, and it's cool as fuck. Proper ninja films!


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## MartialHorror (Feb 10, 2015)

I've seen them up until 4, but unfortunately the majority of my reviews for them were lost in the freewebs purge. One day I shall re-review them...probably. I wasn't as enthusiastic as you were. I liked the first one, but can barely remember the others. My review of the 4th one might be around here somewhere...


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## MartialHorror (Feb 11, 2015)

*14 Blades (2010)*- Donnie Yen stars as a deadly, imperial assassin who is betrayed and finds himself hunted by his former brethren. He realizes that this ties into a conspiracy that threatens the Government, so must utilize his skills to get revenge/save China. It has all the right elements to be great, such as good action sequences, a unique visual style and an awesome performance by Donnie Yen. But the narrative is crammed with too many underdeveloped storythreads and this REALLY hurts the pacing. 

2.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 11, 2015)

MartialHorror said:


> I've seen them up until 4, but unfortunately the majority of my reviews for them were lost in the freewebs purge. One day I shall re-review them...probably. I wasn't as enthusiastic as you were. I liked the first one, but can barely remember the others. My review of the 4th one might be around here somewhere...



I see. I'll see if I can find it somehwere, or I'll just wait until the day you decide to re-review them again... if that day comes. But yeah, I tend to get overly enthusiastic just by seeing there's a ninja in a film, so I guess I am a bit "biased" like that. But that's just how it is.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2015)

*The 8 Diagram Pole Fighter (1984)*- The Yang family experiences tragedy when the patriarch and the majority of his sons are slain during a battle with mongols, simply because they were betrayed by jealous comrades. The only survivors are the 6th son (Alexander Fu Sheng), who goes insane and the 5th son (Gordon Liu), who becomes a monk. But this bloody tale of envy and jealous hasn't concluded just yet! Fu Sheng died during the production, which meant there were a lot of noticeable re-writes and loose ends. But for all the scripts flaws, the martial arts on display is excellent. Nonstop kung fu fighting! 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 19, 2015)

*Falcon Rising (2014)*- Michael Jai White stars as a suicidal ex-marine who travels to the slums of Brazil when his sister is attacked and left in a comatose state. He must find out who did this and get vengeance, even if it means he must destroy Brazil in the process. While it seems more interested in setting up a sequel than being a compelling movie, "Falcon Rising" does offer some good stuff. Nice scenery, good performances, solid fight sequences and Michael Jai White is awesome- as usual. But while there is a spark, it never catches fire. Neal McDonough co-stars. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2015)

*The Buddhist Fist (1980)*- When his godfather vanishes, a young martial artists decides to investigate, only to realize that the culprit is a fallen shaolin Monk- who happens to be his best friend. Believe it or not, this is intended to be a mystery, but as the monk is the only credible suspect...it's not a very good mystery. The kung fu choreography is excellent, but it's in a war with some of the most obnoxious comedy to ever plague the genre. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 12, 2015)

*Three Outlaw Samurai(1964)* -Three Ronin (one played by Tetsuro Tamba) are caught up in a struggle between a corrupt magistrate and abused farmers. Hideo Gosha's inventive and fresh camera work keep this movie going. It is one of the more entertaining genre pieces, but it keeps reminding the audience of other, better films like "Yojimbo". Still, it's a good watch for fans. 

3/4


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## Sanity Check (Mar 12, 2015)

Hey Martial Horror.

Have you ever seen _The Hidden Fortress_.  Is it really as star wars-esque as some say?

.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 12, 2015)

Sanity Check said:


> Hey Martial Horror.
> 
> Have you ever seen _The Hidden Fortress_.  Is it really as star wars-esque as some say?
> 
> .



I have and not really. You will notice some of the similarities, but if you weren't aware going into it, I doubt you'd think about it. Pretty much like SW, it starts off with 2 comedic relief characters who stumble onto the story. There is a Princess and a rebellion, but her male guardian is one person. Based on memory, that's about it.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 13, 2015)

Hey, Martial, care to make a small list of your favourite martial arts films? Like, a top 5 of wuxia, a top 5 of kung fu and general martial arts flicks? Been on a massive martial arts run myself since february and looking for more, especially wuxias from the 60's to mid 90's.


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## Vault (Mar 13, 2015)

When it comes to wuxia my knowledge is unparalleled. Well Yasha comes close but still 

What have you seen so far


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 13, 2015)

I've seen some. But it would be easiet for me if people just made a list of their 5-10 favourite wuxias, then I could just check out the ones I've not seen yet.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 14, 2015)

The problem with wuxia is they're all so alike that it's hard to really make a list of them. But off the top of my head, some of my favorites include

1) The Shaolin Temple (Jet Li)
2) Legendary Weapons of China
3) 8 Diagram Pole Fighter
4) 5 Deadly Venoms
5) Kid with the Golden Arm
6) Life Gamble

Some of my personal, general favorites include

1) Fearless
2) Enter the Dragon
3) Drunken Master 1 and 2
4) The Raid 2
5) Forbidden City Cop

I'll try to think of more later on. I'd read my reviews of them first (if I've done any) to see if they're the kind made for you. Forbidden City Cop, for example, has some bizarre comedy that might put you off. Enter the Dragon isn't amazing in any way, and yet I love it because it's so vibrant, colorful and exotic. The characters are all awesome and memorable.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 14, 2015)

Very cool. Thank you. I've not seen Kid with the Golden Arm and Life Gamble, but they're Chang Cheh flicks and on my watchlist. The rest on both lists I've seen, and very much enjoyed.

I've not had the problems with all wuxias being alike, though. At least not any more alike than kung fu flicks in general, and many other genres.


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## Vault (Mar 14, 2015)

> 1) The Shaolin Temple (Jet Li)
> 2) Legendary Weapons of China
> 3) 8 Diagram Pole Fighter
> 4) 5 Deadly Venoms
> ...



None of these films are wuxia though


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 14, 2015)

Why don't you put out some recommendations instead of complaining, bro? I need something good. The best of the best and all that shit.


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## Vault (Mar 14, 2015)

So pointing the fact those aren't wuxia films is complaining now? 

Anyway I can't simply make a top 5 for wuxia 

Zu Warriors 
Moon warriors 
One armed swordsman 
Hero (2002) 
Holy flame of the martial world 
Duel to the death (First film which made me fall in love with wuxia) 
Evil cult (butchers the source material completely but I adore this film) 
Fong Sai Yuk 1 and 2 (the 2nd has some amazing choreography  so many amazing fights in that) 
Swordsman trilogy (again butchering the source material but still a great trilogy) 
Flame sword 

I'm forgetting so many more im sure


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 14, 2015)

Good and cool list, but sadly it offers nothing new for me to dig into. I'm already familiar with all of them.

I'm quite surprised not to see any of the following on the list, though (in random order): 

Come Drink With Me
A Touch of Zen
Dragon Gate Inn
New Dragon Gate Inn
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Return of the One-Armed Swordsman
The New One-Armed Swordsman
Master of the Flying Guillotine
Last Hurrah For Chivalry

I consider all of these, along with several others of course (many of whom you've mentioned), to be essential wuxia films even though people more familiar with the genre might disagree with some of these choices. Especially the last three, but I'm a huge fan.

And for me personally, House of Flying Daggers, Bastard Swordsman and Return of Bastard Swordsman deserves to be on such a list as well. Fantastic films, and I just love them a lot. I know people in general consider House of Flying Daggers not to be all that, but I've always had a weak spot for it.


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## Vault (Mar 14, 2015)

No your list is quintessential wuxia through through.  Crouching tiger I don't rate. Dragon gate inn I knew I was forgetting it, Touch of Zen as well. Other than Donnie Yen I can't say I enjoy new dragon gate inn that much. I forgot the bride with white hair! That's a definite favourite 

I would pick house of flying daggers over Crouching any day btw  funny the detractors of house of flying daggers say there isn't enough action for a wuxia which is flat out wrong. The romantic angle is always the heaviest in wuxia though 

Watched any wuxia tv series?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 14, 2015)

Vault said:


> None of these films are wuxia though



Wuxia genre= martial arts movie in ancient china...Although the technical definition tends to refer more to the hero. 



> Zu Warriors
> Moon warriors
> One armed swordsman
> Hero (2002)
> ...



Oddly, I don't think I've seen the Swordsman trilogy, although I did see the Jet Li one. "Duel to the Death" is pretty great though. 



> Come Drink With Me
> A Touch of Zen
> Dragon Gate Inn
> New Dragon Gate Inn
> ...



Last Hurrah for Chivalry is awesome, forgot about that. A Touch of Zen is one of the few examples I might consider an art film.


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## Vault (Mar 14, 2015)

You are wrong MH

Wuxia needs 3 elements to qualify. 

Jianghu (Basically means the martial community with sects and different factions)
Ancient setting 
Fantasy martial artist (Qing gong, internal energy, pressure point manipulation etc)


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 15, 2015)

Vault said:


> No your list is quintessential wuxia through through.  Crouching tiger I don't rate. Dragon gate inn I knew I was forgetting it, Touch of Zen as well. Other than Donnie Yen I can't say I enjoy new dragon gate inn that much. I forgot the bride with white hair! That's a definite favourite
> 
> I would pick house of flying daggers over Crouching any day btw  funny the detractors of house of flying daggers say there isn't enough action for a wuxia which is flat out wrong. The romantic angle is always the heaviest in wuxia though
> 
> Watched any wuxia tv series?



I'm very weak for Hero, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and House of Flying Daggers as they were the films that properly introduced me to the genre after my film interest started for full. I had seen wuxias before*, but didn't know shit about it back then. We were young and just watched it for the fights and violence. But it was  5-6 years later that I watched House of Flying Daggers, Hero and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and really got into it and reading mroe about the genre to find out about these types of films. Hero is my favourite of them, though.

*The wuxias I had seen before was mostly on poor VHS dubs from an older buddy of a buddy of mine in the late 90's, while I was still very young. We loved watching films, but we didn't watch them for the same reasons as today. Anyway, he had a shitload of VHS' and as he was babysitting my buddy now and then we were allowed to look through his collection and borrow from him. It was mostly regular action and martial arts films, though. It was a great time, and before we got 13 years old I am sure we'd seen the Rambo trilogy at least 25 times. Heh.


I'm digging New Dragon Gate Inn. Actually consider it one of the best remakes ever, and more or less on par with the original.

Nope, my knowledge is limited to films. But I've got some wuxia TV-series on my watchlist for a long time. Do you have any recommendations for something good, that happens to be possible to find as well? I'm not a big reader, but I've been thinking about reading some wuxia like The Smiling, Proud Wanderer for some time.



Also, MartialHorror, you'll just have to tell a mod to remove out talk into a new thread if you feel like we're occupying your thread, boy. I'm sure a mod would do that.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 15, 2015)

Also, a small update on the martial arts films I've seen since february (included some more regular Jackie Chan-action as well):


*Spoiler*: __ 




Kairyu daikessen aka The Magic Serpent
Once Upon a Time in China I
Once Upon a Time in China II
Once Upon a Time in China III
A Touch of Zen
The Prodigal Son
Snake in the Eagle's Shadow
Shinobi no Mono: Mist Saizo Strikes Back
Shinobi no Mono: Iga Mansion
Shinobi no Mono: A New Beginning
The Shaolin Temple
Shaolin Temple 2: Kids from Shaolin
Shaolin Temple 3: Martial Arts of Shaolin
Ninja in the Dragon's Den
Armour of God
Armour of God II - Operation Condor
Fong Sai-Yuk
Fong Sai-Yuk II
The Young Master
Ninja
Ninja: Shadow of a Tear
Dragon Lord
Ninja Assassin
Snake & Crane Arts of Shaolin
Have Sword, Will Travel
Twin Warriors / Tai-Chi Master
Police Story
Police Story 2
Police Story 3: Super Cop
Police Story 4: First Strike
New Police Story
Warriors Two
The Blade
The Magic Blade
Return of Bastard Swordsman
Raining in the Mountain (not quite a martial arts film IMO, but it's got some fighting so it's included)
Project A
Project A 2
Legend of a Fighter
Last Hurrah for Chivalry
Duel to the Death
Ashes of Time Redux
The Swordsman
The Swordsman II
The Swordsman III: The East Is Red




Some I had seen before and just rewatched, and some I had not seen before. A bt up and down, but I've enjoyed all of these to some degree even though I won't rewatch Ninja, Ninja: Shadow of a Tear (this one was actually pretty good) and Ninja Assassin anytime soon. Biggest disappointment was Shaolin Temple 2: Kids from Shaolin. Not bad, just not too good either. At least not compared to the first and third.

Forgot to mention them before, but both Have Sword, Will Travel and The Magical Blade are a part of my essential wuxia films-list. Amazing films!


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## MartialHorror (Mar 15, 2015)

I'm perfectly fine with the discussion. I wasn't big on "Shaolin Temple 2" either. It's very much a time capsule for the time, so I think you have to be someone from Hong Kong in the 80's to really enjoy it. 

As for wuxia, I think you're being too on-the-nose with your definition. It's like how people might define samurai films. At least half focus more on Ronin, but it's an easy way to generalize the genre (especially in the west). Even the more formal name, Chambara, tends to not be completely accurate. But then again, maybe I'm just being too informal, as I have to admit that I'm not the biggest expert on that corner within the kung fu genre.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2015)

*The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Peace (2015)*- The Scorpion King (Victor 'Not the Rock' Webster; reprising his role from 3) goes on a quest for vengeance as he searches for a mystical crown. Not only is this incompetently made in every way, the badness is set aflame with lame attempts at comedy. The cast includes Lou Ferrigno, Rutger Hauer, Michael Biehn, Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, Barry Bostwick, M. Emmet Walsh WWE's Eve Torres and a handful of MMA fighters (such as Roy Gracie)- which would be impressive if they had more than two seconds of screen-time. 

1/4


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## Uncle Acid (Apr 23, 2015)

God almighty... why would you even watch that, MH?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 29, 2015)

lol, I believe I say so in the review. 
*
Death Duel of Kung Fu (1979)*- A so called "hero" assassinates a Qing Marshall and goes on the run, pursued by various Qing Agents and a mysterious warrior (John Liu)- who may or may not be on his side. Despite the simple premise, the writer (Kuang Ni, who pens 75% of these movies) does try his hand at intrigue...even if he fails. On a technical and storytelling level, this sucks. Yet the kung fu is awesome and its failures never get in the way of the action. 

3/4


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## GRIMMM (Apr 29, 2015)

I just checked your website and saw your review for "It Follows".

This is the first horror movie in a long time that gave me a feeling of dread and didn't rely on cheap jumps to scare. I actually felt uncomfortable being alone in my house afterwards at night, closing every door and keeping lights on while I walked to my room. The soundtrack was also fantastic and fit the movie perfectly, especially the opening song with the build up, that alone was enough to put the fear in me.

Definitely gonna have to look into some of the other movies you've recommended now as I feel I am always short on good horror films to watch!

Keep up the good work.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 29, 2015)

Thank you!


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## MartialHorror (May 4, 2015)

*Five Fingers of Death (1972)*- Also known as "King Boxer", eternal villain Lo Lieh actually gets to play the good guy for once, a martial artist who joins a new school and has to contend with jealous rivals. The plot gets fairly ambitious and the characters are surprisingly interesting, although the narrative has some pacing issues. The Kung fu itself holds up incredibly well though and there is plenty of fighting to be found. 

3.5/4


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## Vault (May 4, 2015)

Hahaha that film threw me off so much. Lo lieh playing a good guy after so many villain roles I think that's all he did kinda like how it would be fucking weird seeing Hwang Jang Lee playing a good guy it just doesn't work.


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## MartialHorror (May 4, 2015)

Have you seen "Killer Meteors"? That's funny because Jackie Chan plays the villain.


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## Uncle Acid (May 4, 2015)

Five Fingers of Death is such a geat film. So good and so cool.


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## MartialHorror (May 9, 2015)

*Sonny Chiba's Dragon Princess (1976)*- Etsuko Shihomi ("Sister Street Fighter") stars as a martial artist who has been raised as a tool for vengeance by her Father (Sonny Chiba- who only gets an extended cameo) after he was crippled by jealous rivals. The Karate-themed fight scenes are really good, but the narrative is a mess. 

2.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (May 10, 2015)

It's such a shame when Sonny Chiba only gets a cameo. He's easily one of my all-time favourite actors, even though I haven't seen nearly enough films starring him. But he's godly like.


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## MartialHorror (May 17, 2015)

*The Wandering Swordsman (1970)*- A Robin Hood-esque (David Chiang) swordsman steals from crooks and gives the wealth to the poor, but finds himself caught in a scheme hatched by a notorious thief. Incredibly well done in every aspect of filmmaking- writing, acting, direction, cinematography, editing, but the choreography is pretty average. It's more of a 'good movie with kung fu' than a 'good kung fu movie'. Directed by Cheh Chang and written by Kuang Ni. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 21, 2015)

*Duel of the Century (1981)*- A wuxia-styled mystery stars Tony Liu as Lu Xiaofeng, a highly eccentric investigator who gets pulled into a strange plot when a master swordsman challenges another to a duel. I thought the story was compelling and the characters were a lot of fun. While there is plenty of action and style, the martial arts choreography and Yuen Chor's visual style take a backseat in order to emphasize the mystery at hand. It's not for everyone though, as it's so faced paced that it sometimes becomes hard to keep up. This is an adaption of a popular Chinese novel, which would later spawn another adaptation in the form of Andrew Lau's "The Duel (2000)", although that wasn't as good.


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## MartialHorror (May 29, 2015)

*The Defender (2004)*- Dolph Lundgren is a badass in charge of a group of elite Special Agents and his mission is to protect the head of the NSA during a secret meeting. They find themselves trapped in an isolated, abandoned hotel, fighting for their lives against a mysterious enemy. Above average direct-to-DVD actioner that benefits from an abundance of action. This was Dolph Lundgren's directorial debut and while his inexperience sometimes has a negative impact on the picture, this had been his best work in YEARS as of 2004. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 11, 2015)

*Star Wars: Episode 4- A New Hope (1977)*- When the Galactic Empire develops a space station that can destroy planets, the rebellion is forced to step up their game to destroy it. Arguably the coolest adventure flick ever created thanks to the incredibly creative designs of...everything! 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 18, 2015)

*Vengeance is a Golden Blade (1969)*- An adulteress wife conspires with her lover- and his gang- to murder her martial artist husband. He escapes with their daughter, whom he raises to be an expert fighter. But when the Mother forces herself into their lives again, blood must be spilled. I'd call this a drama that happens to have sword fighting before calling it an action or kung fu based flick. The acting is exceptional and the direction is very good, although the choreography hasn't aged very well (exciting for its day, okay by today). Good movie. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2015)

*Magnificent Warriors (1987)*- Michelle Yeoh is an adventuring transporter who is hired to foil a Japanese plot during World War 2. This kung fu actioner borrows a lot from "Indiana Jones" and "The Seven Samurai", which ironically makes it more unique amongst the genre. While it eventually collapses under its own weight, the action is pretty phenomenal. Excellent choreography, stunts and effects. Michelle Yeoh is awesome. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 28, 2015)

*A Force of One (1979)*- Chuck Norris stars as a karate champion, preparing for a big fight against his longtime rival- played by Bill 'Superfoot' Wallace. But when someone starts using martial arts to murder cops, the Police Force requests that he train them so that they can defend themselves more efficiently. Reasonably entertaining early effort from Chuck Norris, who shows off some cool karate techniques. Pretty dumb though. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2015)

*Star Wars: Episode V- The Empire Strikes Back (1980)*- Luke Skywalker continues his Jedi Training, while the malicious Darth Vader decides to lure him into a trap by targeting his comrades. As amazing as the original was, the sequel tops it with better effects, direction, cinematography, editing, dialogue and acting. In my opinion, this is the best Star Wars movie. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 5, 2015)

*Terminator Genisys (2015)*- Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) from time traveling machines, only to learn that everything has changed and she already has her own protector- a Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Hijinks ensue? Ugh...

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2015)

*Sword in the Moon (2003)*- A ruthless General hunts an assassin who is targeting Government Officials in Ancient Korea. It turns out that the killer is an old comrade. While there is a lot of sword fighting and the first act is more akin to a horror flick, it's tedious arthouse fluff. I was bored. 

1.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Jul 17, 2015)

Hey, I need some help. I'm looking for a martial arts film, I believe from the late 70's/early 80's, where the actors are fighting for real. Do you know anything about this? I read about it some time ago, but I just cannot find it at the moment. And the only tihing I remember is that the fights in the film were real.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2015)

Not ringing any bells. Is it a Hong Kong movie?


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## Uncle Acid (Jul 18, 2015)

Aye, that is correct.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2015)

Yeah sorry, I got nothing.

*Star Wars Episode VI- Return of the Jedi (1983)*- The Emperor of the Galactic Empire decides to oversee the creation of second Death Star and the Rebel Alliance decides to use this chance to destroy him. Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker continues to grow more powerful, but finds himself vulnerable to the dark side...The weakest of the original trilogy, but it's still pretty good. 

3/4


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## Vault (Jul 23, 2015)

Still no daggers 8 yet you regurgitate the same movies


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## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2015)

It's still not on netflix!


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2015)

*Pound of Flesh (2015)*- Jean Claude Van Damme plays an ex-special forces bad-ass who wakes up one morning only to discover that organ thieves have stolen his kidney. The problem is that he was planning on donating that kidney to his ailing niece, so...rampage time! I had high hopes for this, following JCVD's previous successes with director Ernie Barbarash ("Assassination Games", "Six Bullets"), but it's pretty mediocre. There is one really cool moment though where Van Damme involuntarily does the splits. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2015)

*Dragonball Z: Resurrection 'F' (2015)*- Freeza is resurrected when his henchman use the dragon balls to bring him back and he desires vengeance. It turns out that he had never trained a day in his life, but now that he's working hard to catch up, Earths heroes might be in trouble...I loved it, finding it to be both hilarious and exciting. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 11, 2015)

*Star Wars: Episode 1- The Phantom Menace (1999)*- A Team of Jedi get involved with an Invasion plot and discover a young boy who might be the chosen one. The long awaited prequel to the Greatest Trilogy of all time...sucks. It's convoluted, boring and seems to be going out of its way to not resemble a real Star Wars movie. Even the advanced choreography for the light saber duels doesn't hold up very well...

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2015)

*Kung Fu Killer (2014)*- A martial artist (Donnie Yen) serving his Prison sentence offers to assist the Police in catching a killer- who is targeting other kung fu practitioners. The script is pretty bad, requiring characters to act like absolute morons in order to drive the story and the dialogue is incredibly lame in parts. But the fight scenes are phenomenal and plentiful. I also love some of the bizarre set pieces. It's fun, if you're into these kinds of movies. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2015)

*Star Wars: Episode II- Attack of the Clones (2002)*- Anakin (now played by Hayden Christensen) is still training to be a Jedi Knight under Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), but finds himself reunited with Padme (Natalie Portman)- whom he has fallen in love with. She's been the target of multiple assassination attempts, but why? Who cares? It's better than "The Phantom Menace", but is still not a very good movie. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 6, 2015)

*The Transporter Refueled (2015)*- The Transporter (now played by...not Jason Statham) is reconnecting with his Father (Ray Stevenson) while taking jobs from shady people. He's tricked into working for four mysterious women, who are plotting to destroy an old nemesis of his. The action scenes aren't exciting enough to redeem the shitty script and 'Not Jason Statham' is no Jason Statham. This franchise is dead...actually, it's probably a zombie now, so we should probably destroy its brain if we can find it. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 26, 2015)

*House of Traps (1982)*- A rebellious Prince keeps a list of his allies in the titular House of Traps- which is designed to contain and murder anyone who intrudes. Various heroes loyal to the Emperor seek to break into this death trap in order to retrieve it. This is actually a somewhat historic House of Traps, as it's the final collaboration between Cheh Chang and the original venom mob, the former retiring not long afterwards and the latter group disbanding while being replaced with less memorable members. Many people enjoy this, but while the house of traps itself is cool and the choreography is good, I thought the narrative was plodding and the story was hard to follow. The kung fu doesn't really take the stage until the finale. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2015)

*Attack on Titan: Part 1 (2015)*- Adapted from the popular manga/anime, humanity has become an endangered species at the hands of the Titans- gigantic humanoids who eat people. They hide behind even bigger walls, which has protected them from the Titans for 100 years, but realize that mankind must go on the offensive when the walls fail. It's not awful, but it's not very good either. Fans of the source material will hate the changes, while everyone else won't be able to tell what's going on. Weak characters/story, crappy CGI effects and cheesy dialogue fill in the gaps of badness. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 11, 2015)

*Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith (2005)*- Anakin Skywalker continues his descent towards the dark side thanks the manipulations of Chancellor Palpatine- who is exploiting his resentment towards the Jedi Council and fear of losing his wife. This is the conclusion of the Star Wars prequel trilogy and it definitely is the best of them. Granted, it's still inferior to the worst of the original trilogy, but at least it was 'okay'. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2015)

*Skin Trade (2015)*- Dolph Lundgren and Tony Jaa are two rogue cops from different countries who targeting the same criminal (Ron Perlman). But a dirty FBI Agent (Michael Jai White) conspires to pit them against each-other...Technically well made and the fight scenes are pretty good, but "Skin Trade" is one of those movies that should've been better. Still worth watching if you want to see these guys collide, even if you should have mild expectations. 

2.5/4


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## Jake CENA (Oct 17, 2015)

*Kung Fu Jungle & SPL 2* - *5/5*

Both are fucking awesome. Must watch.


----------



## EllissonWatson (Oct 20, 2015)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Transporter Refueled (2015)*- The Transporter (now played by...not Jason Statham) is reconnecting with his Father (Ray Stevenson) while taking jobs from shady people. He's tricked into working for four mysterious women, who are plotting to destroy an old nemesis of his. The action scenes aren't exciting enough to redeem the shitty script and 'Not Jason Statham' is no Jason Statham. This franchise is dead...actually, it's probably a zombie now, so we should probably destroy its brain if we can find it.
> 
> 1/4



Actually i didn't like the transporter refueled movie....


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2015)

*Attack on Titan: Part 2 (2015)*- Eren can apparently turn into a Titan now and he's nearly executed by his own Government for this, but he's rescued by a group of rebels. Yet when their own shady motives come to light, he's torn between the two opposing sides. Meanwhile, everyone is still trying to reclaim their land by plugging up the hole in the outer wall. While the first film took critical liberties with the manga (and anime) it was based on, this has practically nothing to do with the source material. The characters are finally being fleshed out, but the rest of the script is a mess and fans won't like the lack of Titan mayhem. It has its moments though. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 19, 2015)

*Heroes of the Wild (1977)*- Also known as "Heroes of Shaolin", even though there is nothing Shaolin-related found within this feature! A shockingly strong script elevates this genre title into something special, with the story surrounding a mercenary hunting down various villains...even though he was the villain who slew the Father of his student. He boasts about this and constantly drives his student to seek vengeance, which becomes complicated when they develop their own Father-son Bond. Despite benefiting from excellent character writing, the film is action packed and the choreography is quite good. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 29, 2015)

RE-REVIEW
*
Above the Law (1988)*- Steven Seagal makes his big starring debut as Nico, a cop with a shady CIA past who finds himself investigating a plot involving explosives and an old nemesis. Everything about this movie is designed to show off the talents of Steven Seagal, back when he actually cared about his career. His charisma and surprisingly solid acting abilities made this a strong starting point for his legacy. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 2, 2015)

*Yes, Madam (1985)*- Michelle Yeoh and Cynthia Rothrock make their starring debuts as two policewomen investigating a murder. They realize that two bumbling crooks are at the center of this plot. The kung fu choreography is really good and the actresses have chemistry, but the Hong Kong-styled comedy is too broad for my tastes and the narrative is broken. The heroines are technically the protagonists, but the real main characters are the comedic relief duo. Still a reasonably fun experience. Directed by Cory Yuen. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2015)

*Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)*- A scavenger (Daisey Ridley), a reformed Storm Trooper (John Boyega) and Han Solo (Harrison Ford) protect an android called BB-8, who knows the location of the only person who can bring peace to the Galaxy- Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill). But a sinister regime known as the First Order are hunting them in order to find and slay Luke, ensuring their status as the new Galactic Empire. 'Episode 7' won't likely be remembered as a classic, but it's still very entertaining. Definitely a step up from the prequels. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2016)

*Absolution (2015)*- Steven Seagal stars Steven Seagal, a bad-ass mercenary who gets caught up protecting a girl from an evil crime syndicate. Typical Steven Seagal movie, albeit with somewhat better production values. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2016)

My favorite movies of 2015: 

My most hated movies of 2015:


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## Vault (Jan 10, 2016)

Heroes of the wild  

Not your conventional Kung fu is it  the twist of Hwang Jang Lee actually being a good guy fucking shocked me.  White hair check that's the main bad guy trope plus the fact that it was Hwang Jang lee I thought for sure


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## MartialHorror (Jan 13, 2016)

Yeah I love it when kung fu movies do something unique.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2016)

*Dragon Blade (2015)*- Huo-An (Jackie Chan) is framed for gold smuggling and sent to build a city as punishment, except failure to do so will result in the executions of him and his men. When a lost Roman Legion (lead by John Cusack...Seriously?) stumbles upon the city, they offer to help rebuild it in exchange for directions (...Seriously??). Their alliance is a success , but a corrupt Roman Consul (Adrien Brody...SERIOUSLY??!!) is actively hunting the expelled Legion. Action ensues. Bad writing too. The martial arts is pretty good and the visuals are often stunning, but the script is a disaster and some of the casting choices are bizarre. Can anyone take John Cusack seriously as a Roman Soldier? 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 31, 2016)

*Special ID (2013)*- Donnie Yen stars as an undercover cop who must investigate a former acquaintance, who is rising through the ranks of the criminal underworld. Good fight scenes, weak story. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2016)

*MINI REVIEWS*: EnterGayMode

New additions to my mini-review list, which includes-

-Last Knights (2015): A loose adaptation of "The 47 Ronin", starring Clive Owen and Morgan Freeman.

- Seventh Son (2015): The Jeff Bridges/Julianne Moore action-fantasy.

- Portrait of Hell (1969): Also known as "Jigokuhen", it's a samurai/horror/drama starring Tatsuya Nakadai.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 17, 2016)

*Warriors Two (1978)*- Casanova Wong stars as Cashier Hua, who stumbles upon a murder plot that leads to him being targeted by deadly assassins, which gets his Mother killed. He's rescued by the great Sammo Hung, who decides to convince his Master to train Hua, which won't be an easy task. The plot is standard, the pacing is awkward and the characters are dull (although Hung is fun), but the kung fu is plentiful and the choreography is amazing. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 20, 2016)

MINI REVIEWS: Link removed

New additions to my mini-review list, which includes-

- Close Range (2015): A Scott Adkins action/martial arts flick, directed by Isaac Florentine (the "Ninja" movies and the "Undisputed" sequels; all of which also starred Adkins).

- Enemies Closer (2013): An action-thriller starring Jean-Claude Van Damme as the...*gasp*...VILLAIN! Also stars the guy from "That Thing You Do" and Orlando Jones. 

- Hitman: Agent 47 (2015): The second shitty live action adaptation of the popular video game franchise.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2016)

MINI REVIEWS: Link removed

New additions to my mini-review list, which includes-

-The Admiral: Roaring Currents (2014): Based on a True Story, where a small Korean fleet repelled a massive Japanese Army, this Naval Warfare actioner also stars the guy from "Oldboy"! A South Korean production.

- Wolf Warriors (2015): Jacky Wu and Scott Adkins star in this military action flick, where assassins interrupt War Games between the Chinese Military and Elite Special Forces.


-


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## MartialHorror (May 10, 2016)

*Riot (2015)*- An ex-detective (Matthew Reese) kills his traitorous partner after robbing a bank, so he can get sent to the same prison as the Kingpin (Chuck Liddell) who murdered his wife. He encounters a mysterious Janitor (Dolph Lundgren), who seems intent on helping him with his mission. The pacing is fast enough and Dolph Lundgren turns in a surprisingly good performance, but the script sucks, the action itself is mediocre and the remainder of the cast is boring. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 17, 2016)

*The Armour of God (1986)*- Jackie Chan plays Asian Hawk , an adventurer who collects (steals) treasures for financial profit, but he's forced to acquire the legendary armour of God when cultists kidnap his ex-girlfriend. The stuntwork is amazing and the fight choreography is exceptional, utilizing Jackie's wild acrobatic abilities. But the plot is thin and the comedy is more annoying than funny. But luckily, we watch Jackie Chan for his action sequences and they're awesome. Followed by "Operation Condor" (which in the west was released first, which turned this into its sequel) and "Chinese Zodiac". 

3/4

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Uncle Acid (May 18, 2016)

The Armour of God is a great film, but they easily topped it with Armour of God 2: Operation Condor which in my eyes are better in every department. It's brilliant!


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## MartialHorror (May 29, 2016)

*The Armour of God 2: Operation Condor (1991)*- The treasure hunter known as Asian Hawk (Jackie Chan) accepts a mission to find Nazi Gold, but finds himself now evading an assortment of villains. In the U.S, the connections to the first film were severed and this was released as "Operation Condor", but eventually they released "The Armour of God" as "Operation Condor 2: The Armour of God". It was...very confusing, but this is one of Jackie's best action flicks- containing lots of incredible stuntwork, martial arts choreography and action set pieces. Hell, I even liked the comedy! A big improvement over its predecessor, even if not devoid of flaws. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 8, 2016)

MINI-REVIEWS: person

I cleaned up and re-uploaded my reviews of "Thor (2011)" and "Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)", two of the phase 1 flicks in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 26, 2016)

RE-REVIEW

*Lady Snowblood (1973)*- Yuki (Meiko Kaji) is the titular Lady Snowblood, a swordswoman born to avenge her Mother and her (would be) family. But each target comes with a new set of challenges for our heroine, some psychological and others physical. Can she overcome these obstacles? Or will she be destroyed? One of the few examples of an adaptation of a manga surpassing its source material, as the filmmakers crafted the perfect hybrid of art and exploitation- being gory, visually stunning, seedy, introspective, exciting and clever enough to take the genre in new and different directions. Even though it was successful enough to produce a sequel, it's primarily known for inspiring Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill". 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2016)

MINI-REVIEWS: Dai Gyakuten Saiban is getting a translation patch 

- Kung Fury (2015): A short film designed to be both 'so bad it's good' and styled after the 1980's. It contains Nazis, ninja, dinosaurs, machine gun wielding vikings, robots and David Hasselhoff. It has everything! Kung Fury (David Sandberg) is a super powered kung fu bad-ass filled with fury and he's hunting Adolf Hitler (Jorma Taccone)- who used time travel to survive World War 2.

- Woochi (2009): A Korean fantasy about a demon hunting Tao Master named Woochi (Kang Dong-won), who is framed for the death of his Master and imprisoned for centuries, until he is resurrected during the present time period. He's promised to be free if he can stop an ancient evil that threatens the world.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2016)

*MINI REVIEWS*: Dai Gyakuten Saiban is getting a translation patch 

- Missing in Action (1984): Chuck Norris stars as Col. James Braddock, a Vietnam War veteran who believes that POW's are still being held against their will by the Vietcong , so launches a mission to rescue them. This is arguably Chuck's most famous role.

- Missing in Action II: The Beginning (1985): A prequel to the first movie, with Col. James Braddock (Norris) trying to survive in a Vietnam Prison Camp. Interestingly, these films were shot back-to-back and this was intended to be the first entry, but the producers liked the intended sequel more, so switched the order around- making this into the sequel (prequel).

- Braddock: Missing in Action III (1988): The final chapter in the Col. James Braddock saga, this one has Braddock returning to Vietnam to find his wife, whom he had thought was dead.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 3, 2016)

RE-REVIEW

*The Tale of Zatoichi (1962)*- A blind masseuse named Ichi (Shintaro Katsu), who moonlights as a highly skilled swordsman, decides to meddle in the affairs of two rivals Yakuza bosses for his own profit. But he's about to learn that his actions have consequences...Ichi's debut feature is probably the best amongst the long running franchise, even if it's not my personal favorite. It boasts a captivating story and interesting characters, which kept me engaged even though the action was minimal. This is a full re-review, even though I also include my original writing. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2016)

*Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)*- Set during the Victorian Era, a zombie plague has ravaged England. But more importantly, a group of warrior sisters struggle with finding husbands and true love. Some concepts just don't go together very well and it's hard to balance "Pride and Prejudice" and "Zombies", which will ensure that neither fanbase will be satisfied. Maybe if you're partial to both, you'll appreciate it more? I personally thought the film was a trainwreck, even though the filmmakers clearly gave it their best shot. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 31, 2016)

*The Man with the Iron Fists 2 (2015)*- RZA reprises his role from "The Man with the Iron Fists" (unfortunately, no Russell Crowe) as the Blacksmith who finds himself getting involved in the troubles of a village that is being plagued by a vicious gang and a serial killer ghost (!!!). While lacking the energy, cast and production value of its predecessor, I found this one to have a more stable narrative, with more character development and steadier pacing. RZA's wild imagination is utilized in smaller doses, so unlike its predecessor, it doesn't collapse under its own weight with too many strange, underdeveloped ideas. I thought it was surprisingly OK for a direct-to-DVD sequel, although RZA's acting sucks and I hated the soundtrack (more rap music). It should be noted that I am in the minority here, as this sequel has been mostly panned by critics. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 10, 2016)

*Ip Man 3 (2016)*- The Grandmaster Ip Man (Donnie Yen) is forced to defend a school from a gang, who have been tasked with acquiring the deed to their land by a ruthless property developer (Mike Tyson). The third entry of this trilogy feels like it was only produced for commercial reasons, in contrast to the legitimate inspiration that lead to the creation of its predecessors. The script is a mess, with the above storyline actually being resolved around the half way point, allowing the entire second half to tie up various loose ends. Yet the martial arts choreography is still incredible and the pacing is swift, so I was entertained. The duel with Mike Tyson was surprisingly good, although the showdown between Yen and Zhang Jin might be the best fight amongst the trilogy. As long as you accept that this is not quite as good as "Ip Man" or the first sequel, you should be satisfied. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 2, 2016)

*Skiptrace (2016)*- Jackie Chan plays a cop who must track down a con-artist (Johnny Knoxville), who witnessed a murder committed by an elusive crime boss. When they realize they have the same enemy, they form an uneasy alliance. "Skiptrace" tries to emulate the formula of "Rush Hour" and "Shanghai Noon" to desperately that it ends up feeling like it was processed by a machine, not written by a person. But above everything, I found the writing to be terrible and the humor very unfocused. Even the action is derivative of Jackie's past works. I hated this, but I also really don't like Johnny Knoxville. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 11, 2016)

*MINI-REVIEWS*
-Code of Honor (2016): Steven Seagal stars as a rogue assassin targeting criminals and Craig Sheffer is the sleazy cop intent on bringing him in, but the lines between good and evil become blurred, as does reality and insanity. An action-thriller that's surprisingly psychological.

-Mercenaries (2014): A Warlord kidnaps the U.S Presidents' daughter, so the CIA recruit the most dangerous female criminals in order to infiltrate her base an complete the rescue operation. This is the Asylum mockbuster of "The Expendables (3)", uniting past low budget action starlets with present low budget action starlets- including Kristanna Loken, Zoe Bell, Vivian A. Fox, Cynthia Rothrock and Brigitte Nielsen.

-Police Story: Lockdown (2014): A police officer (Jackie Chan) meets with his estranged daughter at a club, which is owned by her criminal boyfriend. But then a bomber takes the entire place hostage and it turns out that everyone is there for a specific reason, so Jackie Chan must solve the mystery and save the day. This is more of a drama-thriller with a dash of mystery than it is an action flick.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2016)

*Never Back Down: No Surrender (2016)*- The enigmatic martial arts trainer Case Walker (Michael Jai White) is recruited to help train an old friend for an MMA Championship bout. There is some good stuff here, such as Michael Jai White's performance, the use of kata and martial arts philosophy. I often laughed at the humor and enjoyed the cameos (Tony Jaa and Jeeja Yanin). But the film suffers from flat direction, mediocre choreography, sluggish pacing and unfocused writing. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 4, 2016)

*NEW MINI REVIEWS*: http://bitfister.com/…/martialhorror-reviews-everything-ak…/

- Blood Father (2016): Mel Gibson plays a politically incorrect, recovering alcoholic, trailer trash Father who must defend his daughter against cartel enforcers in this action thriller...that might be based on Mel himself...

- Mothra Vs Godzilla (1964): The first crossover between "Gojira/Godzilla, King of the Monsters" and "Mothra", made before Mothra became part of the Godzilla franchise. Also made before Godzilla entered 'so bad, it's good' territory.

- Sniper: Special Ops (2016): A Steven Seagal flick, which also co-stars Rob Van Dam, although they have no screen-time together. A Special Ops team is assigned to escort a convey, while Steven Seagal and his body double sit around, waiting to be rescued.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 17, 2016)

*Kill Zone 2: SPL (2015)*- Kit (Jing Wu) is an undercover police officer who has been left to rot in Prison, where Chatchai (Tony Jaa) is working as a guard. Through a series of contrivances, Kit escapes and Chatchai faces the moral dilemma of choosing between helping Kit or being a dutiful employee for his corrupt boss (Zhang Jin)- who is the only one who can save Chatchai's daughters' life. This is more of a spiritual sequel to "Kill Zone" than a direct followup, as it involves new characters in a new story. The plot is messy, but I did go through all of the emotions that "Kill Zone 2" demanded of me and the martial arts choreography is excellent- even if there arguably isn't enough fighting for my tastes. 

3/4


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## Jake CENA (Nov 18, 2016)

Tony Jaa and Donnie Yen should do an epic martial arts film centering on MMA


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## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2016)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS

- Hard Target 2 (2016): Scott Adkins stars as a disgraced MMA fighter, who is lured into a a human hunting game in the Burmese Jungle...and he's the target. The first "Hard Target" was a JCVD flick, but I don't think there's a connection outside of the name value.

- The Hidden Blade (2004): From the director of "The Twilight Samurai" comes this story about a Samurai who must choose between love and his class. This is a re-posting of an older review, with a foreword/update on my opinions of it.

- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Out of the Shadows (2016)- The Turtles are back, participating in an overcrowded plot that would take too much time to describe...But we get to see Sheamus as a Rhino, staring at his dick, so there is that.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 14, 2016)

*Rise of the Legend (2014)*- Eddie Peng ("Tai Chi Zero/Hero") stars as a young Wong Fei Hung, a hot headed individual conspiring to bring down a ruthless Crime Lord (Sammo Hung) and his blood soaked empire. The film boasts incredible imagery, with epic cinematography, colorful CGI backdrops and elaborate sets. It also contains A LOT of stylized kung fu brawls, with the visual style and choreography working together to provide stunning eye candy. But the narrative is flimsy, trying to balance too many character dynamics and relying too much on flashbacks to fill in the blanks. I also thought this interpretation of Wong Fei-hung was rather weak, as he's just a generic anti-hero here. He was actually a real individual whose fame turned him into a national icon, with the cinema in particular embellishing the truth for the sake of drama. Jet Li played him in the iconic "Once Upon a Time in China" franchise and Eddie Peng just lacks the presence to stand out here. To be fair, it's not really his fault, as the script doesn't make the character look very good. It's still a fun movie though. 

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2016)

NEW MINI REVIEWS

- The Monkey King (2014): Donnie Yen stars as the titular Monkey King in this live action adaptation of some of the earlier chapters of the epic "Journey to the West" novel. It's a fantasy-comedy-kung fu feature.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2017)

*Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)*- Vampire Elite Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is drawn back into the war with the Lycans (werewolves) for...reasons...The franchise has become zombified by this point and it's obvious that the Underworld namebrand wants to be put out of its misery, as it's so uninterested in its own characters, story and action set pieces. A very dull experience and a new low for a series that was never that good to begin with. 

1/4

NOTE: I am stepping away from reviewing, but so this writing isn't quite as structured or analytical as my more formal reviews, but I do intend on filling up the "Underworld: Blood Wars" page with reviews for the other Underworld flicks, making it more about the franchise as a whole.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2017)

NEW MINI REVIEWS! 

- The Avenging Fist (2001): This was supposed to be a live action (Chinese) "Tekken" flick, but they failed to license the name and presumably was re-written to avoid a lawsuit. You can see traces aof the source material though. Nova (Leehom Wang) is a martial artist trying to avenge his Mother, while the man (Roy Cheung) strives to find the original power glove- a tool that enhances martial abilities...and was a crappy Nintendo accessory. Sammo Hung, Yuen Baio and Stephen Fung co-star.

- End of a Gun (2016): Decker (Steven Seagal and his trusty toupe) seduces women and defeats the bad guys with relative ease, after deciding to steal their drug money in a quasi-heist thriller. This WILL appear in my 'Worst of 2016' list.

-The Monkey King 2 (2016): The sequel to the 2014 "Monkey King" movie, which had starred Donnie Yen and Chow Yun-Fat. Yen has been replaced as Aaron Kwok though (who oddly, played the villain in the first film). He's awakened by a Monk (Shaofeng Feng) who has been tasked with seeking the Buddhist scriptures of enlightenment, and is forced to protect him. Gong Li is a bone demon who wishes to devour the Monk and she's just as dangerous as Wukong.

- The Secret of the Urn (1966): A loyal Samurai (Kinnosuke Nakamura) is betrayed by his clan and left for dead, losing an eye and an arm in the process. He becomes a disgruntled ronin, changing his name to Tange Sazen, drinking and killing his life away until he stumbles across the titular Urn, which is being hunted by samurai, ninja and thieves alike for different reasons. A Chambara (Samurai) flick directed by Hideo Gosha ("Sword of the Beast", "Three Outlaw Samurai", Goyokin" among others).

- Wanted (2008): This is a cleaned up re-posting of one of my old freewebs reviews that was taken down. Wesley (James McAvoy) is a loser, trapped in a crappy job, relationship and life, but everything changes when he learns that his Father was part of a league of elite assassins, before he was murdered by a traitor. The same league recruits Wesley, who vows vengeance.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 28, 2017)

My 'Best Movies of 2016' list: "The Top 9 Movies that TRIED to redeem 2016!"
- 

My 'Worst Movies of 2016' list: "The Top 10 Donald Trumpiest Movies of 2016: Now with 10% less sexual assault!"
- 

Remember that these are only my opinions, children.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 5, 2017)

Top 5 Steven Seagal films?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 5, 2017)

That is a tough one, lol.

1) Under Siege
2) Out for Justice
3) Marked for Death
4) Hard to Kill
5) Above the Law.

Pretty much his early stuff. Not sure how "Exit Wounds" or "Under Siege 2" hold up, but I remember enjoying them on the same level as 5.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "Underworld_ (2003-2017)_".

- This is a new review series I'm planning, dedicated to critiquing franchises. This will be a long and slow undertaking, as I won't start the posting process until I've watched every single film within the chosen franchise...which will be on my own time. I wouldn't count on another one until at least April, maybe later. My first subject is-

"Underworld"- The 5-part saga dedicated to the struggle between vampires and lycans (werewolves), primarily surrounding the vampire assassin known as Selene (Kate Beckinsale). Includes reviews of "Underworld (2003)", "Underworld: Evolution (2006)", "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)", "Underworld: Awakening (2012)" and "Underworld: Blood Wars (2017)".


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## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2017)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS: Link removed

Zatoichi and the Fugitives (1968)- Blind Swordsman Ichi wanders into a village run by a vicious Gangster, who himself has been forced to shelter an even more vicious band of fugitives in this darker-than-usual Chambara (Japanese swordplay) flick. 

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)- The second entry in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy continues the adventures of the fellowship who seek to destroy a ring that can restore the power of a dark entity. This is a cleaned up re-posting of an old review and I was supposed to include the remainder of the trilogy in here, but I can't seem to find my "Fellowship of the Ring" review, so I posted a makeshift one in its place. "The Return of the King" will be included in the next round of mini-reviews.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 17, 2017)

*THE DAIMAJIN TRILOGY*
-Daimajin (1966)
-Return of Daimajin (1966)
-Daimajin Strikes Again (1966)

Each entry of this trilogy tells independent but similar stories which take place during the feudal era of Japan, where Warlords brutalize the worshipers of Daimajin, a stone god. Eventually, their prayers are heard and he rises to punish their tormentors. These films are unique because they're both samurai dramas AND Kaiju flicks, although Daimajin doesn't attack until the 3rd act for each movie . You don't see this combination very often, making the trilogy special, but they're all way too similar to each-other- recycling the same story over, but changing the locales (forest, island, wintery mountain). The miniature work is great though and the visuals are stunning, even if you have to be patient for them. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2017)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS! http://bitfister.com/…/martialhorror-reviews-everything-ak…/

- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003): The conclusion of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, where the forces of good and evil have their final battle, while Frodo desperately tries to destroy the ring of power. This is a cleaned up re-posting of an old freewebs review.

- 300 (2007): 300 Spartans defend against the entire Persian army in this adaptation of the comic book of the same name, which itself was based off the historical battle. This is another cleaned up re-posting of an old review for my freewebs site.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 18, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "_ (2002-2017)_".

"Resident Evil"- The 6-part saga dedicated to Alice (Milla Jovovich), a woman with a mysterious past and super human abilities, who continuously fights for survival amidst a zombie apocalypse. This is (loosely) based on the popular video game series of the same name. Includes reviews of "Resident Evil (2002)", "Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)", "Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)", "Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)", "Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) and "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017)".


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2017)

RE-REVIEW!

*Assassination Games (2011)*- Two troubled hit-men (Jean-Claude Van Damme and Scott Adkins) form an unsteady alliance when they realize they are after the same target. This is a low key thriller that contains some action and martial arts, but the focus is more on the story, characters and suspense. It's solid, but the only attribute special about it is its two leading men, as their acting is surprisingly good. Van Damme and Adkins carry the movie and as a fan of both men, it was a treat seeing how much they have improved over the years. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 1, 2017)

(UNOFFICIAL REVIEW- mostly just my musings)

"*Force: Five (1981)*" has a brilliant martial arts gimmick, where the titular group of heroes are primarily played by C-movie villains, such as Richard Norton and Benny 'The Jet' Urquidez, among other familiar faces. Real-life Karate Champion Joe Lewis plays their leader and the film is directed by Robert Clouse, who is primarily known for the martial arts classic "Enter the Dragon". The movie is pretty bad in that 1980's, cheesy, low budgeted actioner kind of way, but I enjoyed it as such. The choreography sucks, even though you can tell everyone involved is really skilled. The finale pits the most famous Karate champion of his time against the Father of Hapkido in America (Han Bong-soo), yet both men look like they're holding back, trying not to hurt each-other and there was probably very little rehearsal time. It was very awkward and I was amused. Seeing Urquidez, who is probably mostly famous for being that pale, creepy looking dude who fought Jackie Chan in "Wheels on Meals" and "Dragons Forever" (the former often being considered one of Jackie Chan's best fights EVER), is so miscast as the ladies man of the group that the idea practically goes full circle and becomes amazing. The plot has the heroes being sent to an island inhabited by a cult, whose leader (Han Bong-soo) is involved in some shady business. They have to rescue the daughter of the senator and predictability ensues, as this movie adores cliches and yes, Clouse is ripping off his own movies at this point in his career. As I said, it's pretty bad, but the cast appears to be enjoying themselves and their enthusiasm is contagious. Joe Lewis actually is a decent actor and has screen presence, so he could've become a bigger movie star, but perhaps this wasn't the ideal breakthrough movie for him. If I have any real complaints, it's just that most of the cast is sidelined for the bulk of the film, waiting nearby the helicopter until they're summoned for the finale. But I'd recommend it for those who like this kind of trash, such as myself.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 5, 2017)

NEW MINI REVIEWS

Kung Fu Vs Yoga (1979)- A kung fu expert harasses three different martial artist, one of whom is a Yoga Practitioner, so that he can get laid. Strangely, this is more-or-less the plot.

The Way to Fight (1996)- A coming-of-age drama directed by Takashi Miike, surrounding the eventual clash of two rival teenagers from different schools who both to fight.


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## Uncle Acid (Jun 19, 2017)

You seen Headshot yet, MartialHorror? The Mo Brothers delivers again if you ask me. Two hours of Iko Uwais, brutality and ultra-violence. Crazy fucking film!


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2017)

No, for some reason, they cancelled the netflix release (at least the DVD version, I hear it's available for streaming)


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## MartialHorror (Jul 25, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "Gamera: The Showa Era _(1965-1980)"_

- "Gamera: The Showa Era"- The 8-part saga of Gamera, a giant, flying, fire breathing turtle who began as a menace to humanity, but quickly develops into our greatest defender, especially when children are in peril. Gamera faces a barrage of monsters who are often even more bizarre than he is, for they have abilities like being able to fire Shuriken from their nostrils, destructive rainbow blasts and toxins from their nipples. He also battles a Star Destroyer...The "Gamera" franchise is often considered the Z-grade, kid friendly response to Godzilla, but is it that bad??? Includes reviews of "Gamera: The Giant Monster (1965)", "Gamera Vs Barugon (1966)", "Gamera Vs Gyaos (1967)", "Gamera Vs Space Monster Viras (1968)", "Gamera Vs Guiron (1969)", "Gamera Vs Jiger (1970)", "Gamera Vs Zigra (1971)" and "Gamera: Super Monster (1980)"- which is a soft reboot. The story of Gamera continues in the Heisei Era, but that will get its own series of reviews.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2017)

-Rurouni Kenshin: Origins (2012)
-Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno (2014)
-Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends (2014)

The live-action adaptations of the popular anime and manga center around Kenshin Himura (Takeru Satoh), a wandering Ronin who explores Japan throughout the early years of the Meiji Restoration period. Underneath his kind and goofy demeanor, however, lies a dark past that he is desperately trying to escape from. He swears to never kill again, even wielding a sword with a reverse blade, but he can't resist helping those who can't defend themselves. His enemies are also assassins with tenuous connections to his past and they're determined to draw out his murderous side, so can he stop them without giving into his inner demons? Strangely, it appears like "Kyoto Inferno" was released first in the United States, which details Kenshin's conflict with his greatest enemy- Shishio (Tatsuya Fujiwara). The real first entry, "Rurouni Kenshin (2012)" was given the subtitle of "Origins" and released as a prequel...even though it's not an origins story and just focuses on Kenshin meeting his core group of allies, while dealing with an Opium smuggler. "The Legend Ends" deals with Kenshin's past the most, but continues the struggle with Shishio. This trilogy is great, being respectful to the source material without being contained by it. Cinema and manga often don't work well together and sometimes the mediums clash, as there are too many subplots and characters to fit within this narrative. But it still mostly works because the characters and subplots are still interesting, despite being underdeveloped and the trilogy captures the spirit of the manga/anime. "Origins" is probably the best, but "Kyoto Inferno" is my personal favorite. "The Legend Ends" is good, but still the weakest because it has to give pay-offs to characters and subplots that aren't really earned.

My review of this trilogy isn't like my normal works, as I primarily discuss why it's so successful as an adaptation. 

3.5/4

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2017)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS 

- 10,000 B.C (2008)- Roland Emmerich directs this prehistoric adventure about a tribal warrior hunting down his enemies to save the woman he loves. This is a cleaned up re-post of an earlier review.

- The Four (2012)- A Chinese, fantasy-kung fu-mystery-period piece about two Imperial divisions within the Government forming a rivalry to solve an increasingly bizarre mystery. This is part of a trilogy, but I haven't gotten that far yet.

- Wushu Warrior (2010)- White people kick ass in China...That's pretty much the plot of this kung fu adventure. This is also a re-post of one of my old freewebs reviews.

- Contract to Kill (2016)- A Steven Seagal movie that shares the same plot and structure as all of his other films...He beats up the bad guys, has sex with younger women and sleepwalks through his role.

- Dance of the Drunken Mantis (1979)- A Kung Fu flick about ole Sam Seed, a Drunken Master who had previously appeared in Jackie Chan's "Drunken Master (1978)", as this was a spin-off.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 22, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "".

The giant, flying, fire breathing turtle known as Gamera is back, but this time he gets a darker and edgier makeover, with the (charming) ludicrousness of the Showa Era being replaced by quality film-making. Somehow, the idea of a good Gamera movie is even more absurd than monsters firing shuriken snot and killer rainbows...Includes reviews of "Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995)", "Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion (1996)", "Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris (1999)" and another reboot, "Gamera the Brave (2006)".

Gamera: The Heisei and Millennium Eras


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## Jake CENA (Sep 22, 2017)

Have you seen the new Bruce Lee movie?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 22, 2017)

No. I'll see it when it comes out on netflix.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2017)

follow the story of Azumi (Aya Ueto), a young ninja who is tasked with exterminating the feudal Warlords who seek to throw Japan into another civil war. She realizes that committing to this mission comes at a great personal cost. Based on a manga I had never heard of, the first film is directed by Ryuhei Kitamura ("Godzilla: Final Wars") and the second is directed by Shusuke Kaneko ("Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack"), so imagine my surprise when Kitamura turned in the superior film . It's not necessarily an exceptional actioner, but it's still good, earned a 3/4 star rating. Kaneko's sequel is just a watered down version of the first, barely surviving with a 2/4 star rating. This is partially a re-posting of one of my lost freewebs reviews, as I had previously covered "Azumi", but my critique of "Azumi 2" is new. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2017)

The Four II: Lawless Kingdom (2013)- The sequel to "The Four", the fantasy, kung fu mystery. The titular 'four' investigate a series of slayings that might implicate one of their own, kicking up a hornets nest of political intrigue.

The Four III: Kingdom of Blood (2016)- It's the 'Part 2' of "Lawless Kingdom".

Inglourious Basterds (2009)- The Tarantino flick about multiple parties attempting to assassinate Hitler during WW2.

*INFORMAL REVIEW*

"The Millionaire's Express (1986)" stars Sammo Hung (who also directs), Yuen Baio, Wu Ma, Richard Norton, Rosamund Kwan, Cynthia Rothrock, Jimmy Wang Yu, Eric Tsang, James Tien and a million other familiar faces surrounding the titular express that has attracted bandits, samurai and an assortment of other colorful characters. The movie is bizarre and chaotic thanks to its seemingly unending amount of characters, subplots and anachronistic fashions. But the action scenes are awesome, boasting exciting choreography and intense stuntwork and I usually laughed at the comedy. I enjoyed its brand of madness, although many will likely find themselves lost in it. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW!*
*
Replicant (2001) *is a flawed, but interesting Jean-Claude Van Damme project, where he plays a serial killer known as 'The Torch', his targets being mothers. Detective Jake Riley (Michael Rooker) obsessively hunts for him, but the killer is too evasive and he decides to retire until he recieves an offer he cannot refuse. The Government has developed the ability to clone people and the 'genetic memory' can allow the clone to track down the cloned, which they want to use to pursue terrorists. They clone the Torch as a test run and give custody to Riley, to assist him in the investigation. But will this 'replicant' go down the same path as the original? It's a hybrid of different genres, primarily martial arts actioner, serial killer thriller, science fiction drama and even coming-of-age story and the end result will either appeal or repulse you. You might think it was not enough of one or the other, probably because of the other genres "Replicant" is experimenting with. It plays with some intriguing themes and ideas, but it doesn't thoroughly explore them. The choreography is solid and the stuntwork is great, but there isn't THAT much action. Yet despite some hokey moments, I liked "Replicant" and enjoyed the relationship between Riley and the titular replicant. The acting was good and it's nice seeing JCVD try something completely different, even if he is the only actor who has actually fought himself twice. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 8, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW!
*
*Fantasy Mission Force (1983)*- While promoted as a Jackie Chan feature, it's more of a Brigitte Lin-centered ensemble piece. The (real-life) story goes that Jackie only appeared in this (he has maybe 15 minutes of screentime?) because Jimmy Wang Yu (who also appears here) used his triad connections to save Jackie from the wrath of director Lo Wei and his own triad connections...Wow...I was hoping I'd get a kick out of this, because not only does it sport a solid cast, it also has Samurai Nazi's, Vampires, ghosts, wizards and Amazons (whose genders seem to change during the action scenes). Yet despite being a sucker for this kind of insanity, these elements only appear sporadically and most of the movie is based around annoying comedic routines. 

This also has to be the worst editing and transfer combination that I've ever seen. I suspect the version I watched was butchered, as I always heard that the story included a general named Abraham Lincoln and that fictional western heroes (Bond, Rocky and others) were considered for this ragtag scene. I didn't hear any of that, although the audio was so bad that I might've just missed it. But scenes do cut during mid sentence, so I'd like to think that I just watched an atrocious transfer. There are also a few scenes where the framing is out-of-focus. Amusingly, I recognized the theme from "Halloween" though, which was...random. The story is chaotic, but it gets even more bizarre when all of the heroes are killed off in the climax and Jackie Chan suddenly becomes the lead- even though he only showed up for like...3 scenes? The tone is uneven and the fight scenes were pretty weak, although the final confrontation between Jackie and Jimmy Wang Yu was aight. You don't see too many kung fu movies where the fighting is being done on top of muscle cars that have swasticas painted on them...The movie is a trainwreck, but I spent most of the time more irritated than fascinated, so I can't recommend it. 

1.5/4


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## GRIMMM (Nov 10, 2017)

Apologies if you've posted it already, but have you watched The Lure, a Polish horror movie? If so was it any good in your opinion?


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## MartialHorror (Nov 10, 2017)

*The Protector (1985)* is remembered for being Jackie Chan's 2nd American production, following "The Big Brawl" and proceeding "Rush Hour". It was a flop and Jackie Chan hated it so much that he actually re-edited the movie, adding new footage to fix some of the plot holes, character arcs, fight scenes and replacing objectionable content. I haven't seen his cut, but the American version was...fine, as long as you know what to expect. This is not a martial arts flick, nor does it really showcase his distinctive physical comedy. It's a sleazy, violent, hardboiled cop thriller that has some Jackie Chan flavoring to make the project stand out a little bit more. For what it is, it's fine thanks to some impressive sets, surprisingly good chemistry between the two leads and solid action scenes. The choreography and stuntwork might be weak compared to what Jackie was doing in Hong Kong at the time, but it's above average for what Hollywood was doing at the time. If you like these kinds of movies, "The Protector" is fine. However, the script is very messy, seemingly forgetting about certain characters and adding subplots that don't really add much to the overarching narrative. The heroes are sometimes unlikable with their remorseless recklessness, so you start to sympathize with their beleaguered, obstructive superiors. The score is generic and monotonous, sometimes draining the excitement out of the scene. It definitely could've used a better editor, but once again, I thought "The Protector" was fine for what it was. The fight between Bill 'Superfoot' Wallace and Jackie Chan was decent, but it seemed designed to put over Wallace instead of Jackie, who spends most of the fight taking the hits. Still, seeing Superfoot try to murder Jackie with a buzzsaw was pretty awesome.

Also, Jackie Chan says 'fuck', so there is that...

2.5/4



GRIMMM said:


> Apologies if you've posted it already, but have you watched The Lure, a Polish horror movie? If so was it any good in your opinion?



Nope, never heard of it. Any good?


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## MartialHorror (Dec 10, 2017)

*Viva Chiba! The Bodyguard (1973)*- This movie was bad, but also kind of amazing. It's a Karate flick, starring Sonny Chiba, whose name is in the f@cking title. He plays...himself...apparently and the opening crawl quotes a bible verse, where they replace "the Lord" with "Chiba the Bodyguard", so it reads like this: "And they shall know that I am Chiba the Bodyguard when I shall lay my vengeance upon them!" and yes, Quentin Tarantino used a variation of this for "Pulp Fiction". The first scene of the movie has a karate montage, where the students chant "Chiba" in a cult-like monotone and then two martial artists fight to determine who the better fighter is...Bruce Lee or Sonny Chiba? Strangely, the dialogue implies Bruce Lee is, even though Sonny Chiba is apparently God in this movie...It's quite amazing. 

The choreography is actually pretty subpar and it often feels like the editor has a limited amount of footage to work with, so just loops it and pretends he's being 'artistic'. It's hard to explain, but there are scenes where characters look at each-other and the camera zooms in on their face...and then they look at eachother some more, with the accompanied zoom-in...and this process happens over and over again. There is some absurd moments of violence, like when a dude gets his arm shot off! It's also very trashy. The plot is a little convoluted and the final scene kind of left me confused. Even though I'd say "Viva Chiba" is bad and cheesy, it's consistently entertaining and easy to make fun. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 28, 2017)

NEW MINI REVIEWS

I was supposed to post these on Christmas, but I got really sick.

*The Delta Force (1986)*- Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin lead 'The Delta Force', who are tasked with stopping the terrorists who have hijacked a plane. It's an 80's actioner that might've intended to be a 'Disaster Flick'.

*Karate Warriors (1976)*- Sonny Chiba is a mysterious warrior who manipulates two rival gangs into fighting each-other. This is a karate flick that borrows a lot from "Yojimbo".

*Inception (2010)*- Leonardo DiCaprio is a thief who specializes in stealing ideas in dreams, but he's now tasked with planting one in this big budgeted blockbuster by Christopher Nolan.

*Kick-Ass (2010)*- A nerd creates a superhero alter ego, only to encounter real crime fighters and very real criminals.

*Avatar (2009)*- James Cameron's blockbuster that's still the highest grossing movie of all time.


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## Uncle Acid (Dec 29, 2017)

MartialHorror said:


> NEW MINI REVIEWS
> 
> I was supposed to post these on Christmas, but I got really sick.
> 
> *The Delta Force (1986)*- Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin lead 'The Delta Force', who are tasked with stopping the terrorists who have hijacked a plane. It's an 80's actioner that might've intended to be a 'Disaster Flick'.



I re-watched a lot of Cannon films not too long ago, with The Delta Force and its sequels among them, and they just have a lot of underrated, forgotten and hidden gems. Lots of shit, lots of cheese and all that, but so much entertainment in it as well.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2018)

INFORMAL REVIEWS!
*
Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)* is another stellar Chuck Norris flick, where we actually get to see the consequences of being the lone wolf archetype that Chuck Norris played throughout his career. It's styled like a spaghetti western and boasts fitting cinematography and an awesome Morricone-esque score. The villain is played by David Carradine, who is having a blast with the role and the climactic fight between him and Norris was...interesting...From a technical standpoint, the choreography is pretty standard and while Carradine was known for playing martial artists, his actual skills were limited. This is very apparent whenever he trades blows with Norris, as his kicks don't look as good and his guard is constantly dropping. Yet it still works because it's one of the only times when we see Chuck Norris on the defensive throughout most of the fight, giving their confrontation some dramatic weight. The script was pretty sloppy though, with gaps of the story missing that would've presumably clarified certain relationships and motivations. Some subplots and supporting characters felt unnecessary, but if you like these kinds of movies, "Lone Wolf McQuade" is an entertaining one that has a little bit more substance than most of its kind. 

3/4 

*Samurai Cop (1991)* is one of those definitive 'so bad, it's good' kinds of movies. It's hilariously terrible, but is constantly finding new ways of being terrible, so it never becomes boring. It developed such a passionate cult following that it lead to the creation of *Samurai Cop II: Deadly Vengeance (2015)*, which was more...deliberately terrible? This is usually a bad thing, but I found it to be just as amusing as its predecessor thanks to an increase in insane ideas. They even cast Tommy Wiseau ("The Room") as a villain and he is so bad that his badness goes full circle and makes him highly charismatic. If I have to rate these movies, I'd give them both 2.5/4 stars, but only watch them if you like laughing at bad movies.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 6, 2018)

- This is a classier way of saying 'best of', because "Carnosaur" has recently dethroned "Citizen Kane" as the most lauded movie of all time in my mind. Actually, because I don't formally review as much, this list is much more subjective than usual, so beware of my questionable tastes.

- For what it's worth, being drenched in the urine of MartialHorror is a greater honor than "Rings" deserves, but this is my list of the worst movies I saw in 2017.


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## Uncle Acid (Jan 15, 2018)

You looking forward to Triple Threat? Jesus, what an insanely good cast. Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Tiger Chen, Scott Adkins, Michael Jai White and Yanin Vismitananda among others. Should be able to cook up something quite magnificent with those in one and the same film.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2018)

Yeah. That better not suck, as that is the ultimate cast of martial artists.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2018)

So I just recently watched "*The Bride with White Hair (1993)*" and "*The Bride with White Hair II (1993)*". These films are kung fu fantasies that even flirts with adding 'horror' into their genre bending, so how can I not like the- er, the first one? "The Bride with White Hair" boasts a lot of twisted imagery, graphic violence and creative action scenes. Even though the romance comes out of nowhere, Leslie Cheung and Bridgette Lin have enough chemistry to overcome the thin writing. There are some flaws, such as a cheesy 5-minute love scene and a few unnecessary or underdeveloped subplots. I almost feel like director Ronnie Yu wanted this to be a much longer epic, but budget constraints restricted him to a 90 minute running-time and instead of cutting material out, he simply cut it down. The subplot with the traitorous general seemed especially pointless. Still a cool movie though, as long as you can accept the quirks of 1990's Hong Kong cinema.

3/4

"The Bride with White Hair II" has its moments, but it's mostly mediocre. The fight choreography is fine and the visual style of its predecessor is adequately replicated, even if watered down. I still appreciate the violence and the horror elements, but the editing is disjointed and the sappiness was even harder to swallow this time around. The biggest flaw though has to be with its cast. The new characters are all boring and the performers portraying them are mostly bland. Even worse, they feel like they're in the passengers seat in their own story, as Leslie Cheung's character from the first one shows up in the end and resolves the conflict for them...while they watch...Cheung only has a cameo and yet his reunion with Lin's titular Bride is so much more compelling than everything involving our two new lovebirds that you even forget they're even there! Nevertheless, the finale was pretty great and the crumbling set was a pretty breathtaking effect. While I wasn't really interested in the plights of the (new) characters, every other scene had some action and quasi-lesbian erotica, so I can't say "The Bride with White Hair 2" was boring. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 23, 2018)

COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER- ""

"Undisputed" was that 'boxing in a prison' movie that came out in 2002, where the marketing campaign REALLY tried to sell audiences on its climactic fight between Ving Rhames and Wesley Snipes...but then no one cared and the movie bombed...So how did it become a 4-film franchise? And how did it become so...well...AWESOME!? The sequels star Scott Adkins and Michael Jai White, two of the best martial arts performers in the west.

We address why this became a franchise, how it became a favorite among martial arts fans and more in my review series, which includes critiques of
- "Undisputed (2002)"
- "Undisputed 2: Last Man Standing (2006)"
- "Undisputed 3: Redemption (2010)"
- "Boyka: Undisputed 4 (2017)"


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Mar 25, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER- ""
> 
> "Undisputed" was that 'boxing in a prison' movie that came out in 2002, where the marketing campaign REALLY tried to sell audiences on its climactic fight between Ving Rhames and Wesley Snipes...but then no one cared and the movie bombed...So how did it become a 4-film franchise? And how did it become so...well...AWESOME!? The sequels star Scott Adkins and Michael Jai White, two of the best martial arts performers in the west.
> 
> ...


Fuck me you really are the guy i unsubbed on youtube after going SJW on me. You still got hair? Which one is that move about Romans in the Far East only you like in the world and i am intrigued by?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2018)

The Kamal Haasan Crazy Hour said:


> Fuck me you really are the guy i unsubbed on youtube after going SJW on me. You still got hair? Which one is that move about Romans in the Far East only you like in the world and i am intrigued by?



....huh?

I shave my head daily. As for the movie, "Dragon Blade"? I didn't really care for that one, but it's the only 'Romans in the Far East' movie I can think of off the top of my head.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Mar 25, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> ....huh?
> 
> I shave my head daily. As for the movie, "Dragon Blade"? I didn't really care for that one, but it's the only 'Romans in the Far East' movie I can think of off the top of my head.


You are not this guy?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2018)

The Kamal Haasan Crazy Hour said:


> You are not this guy?



Oh, I am. I stopped making videos a few years ago, but I don't know what movie you're talking about.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 26, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER- ""
> 
> "Undisputed" was that 'boxing in a prison' movie that came out in 2002, where the marketing campaign REALLY tried to sell audiences on its climactic fight between Ving Rhames and Wesley Snipes...but then no one cared and the movie bombed...So how did it become a 4-film franchise? And how did it become so...well...AWESOME!? The sequels star Scott Adkins and Michael Jai White, two of the best martial arts performers in the west.
> 
> ...



Yes! A rare examples on a franchise that got better and better, with the fourth fucking entry being the absolute best. Can we hope for more Undisputed films?



Btw, have you seen Accident Man? Action/crime/comedy with Scott Adkins, Ashley Greene, Michael Jai White and Ray Stevenson. The film as a whole was very Guy Ritchie-esque and Scott Adkins' character and performance was very Jason Statham-esque, albeit a lot cooler as Scott Adkins > Jason Statham. I really liked the film.

I'm a fan of Jason Statham too of course.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Mar 26, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> Yes! A rare examples on a franchise that got better and better, with the fourth fucking entry being the absolute best. Can we hope for more Undisputed films?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Instead of the Redemption story for 4th i would have preferred something else even if i enjoyed it. Boiyka was too nice in that one for me.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> Yes! A rare examples on a franchise that got better and better, with the fourth fucking entry being the absolute best. Can we hope for more Undisputed films?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It wouldn't surprise me if they made more, but Scott Adkins is getting a little old and it took 7 years to make the fourth, so it would also surprise me if they didn't. It would be amazing though if they get Adkins, Wesley Snipes, Michael Jai White and Ving Rhames to appear in the 5th one...and it is possible considering Snipes and Rhames are direct-to-DVD stars now. 

I haven't seen "Accident Man"...yet, but it's on my netflix queue. My only real concern is that "El Gringo" movie, which I hated. 



The Kamal Haasan Crazy Hour said:


> Instead of the Redemption story for 4th i would have preferred something else even if i enjoyed it. Boiyka was too nice in that one for me.



I actually think it would've been funny if the villain from the 3rd one was the new hero.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Mar 26, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> I actually think it would've been funny if the villain from the 3rd one was the new hero.


They had a hard enough time getting the last one made already.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2018)

The Kamal Haasan Crazy Hour said:


> They had a hard enough time getting the last one made already.



And that's probably why he was nicer, as nicer= safer and from a storytelling perspective, "Undisputed 4" was really safe..


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## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2018)

*
*
- The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978)
- Return to the 36th Chamber (1980)
- Disciples of the 36th Chamber (1985)

The '36th Chamber' trilogy was directed by Chia-Liang Yu ("Drunken Master II") and was a starring vehicle for Gordon Liu ("Kill Bill"), although it later shifted to Hou Hsiao. The stories follow disgruntled young men who hate the Manchu Government so much that they resolve to learn martial arts from the Shaolin Temple, only to find out that their methods are incredibly challenging. The original film is often regarded as a classic of the genre, but to read the extent of my opinions, go .


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## Uncle Acid (Apr 6, 2018)

Three great films, with The 36th Chamber of Shaolin being one of the very best martial arts films ever made. Immense!


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## MartialHorror (May 1, 2018)

- Humanity is forced to flee Earth when Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, emerges from the depths. They live as Space Refugees for 20,000 years until their oxygen runs too low to maintain their lifestyle, forcing them to return to Earth...where the monsters await them. This is that 'Godzilla anime' and while I have to give the filmmakers credit for coming up with a wonderfully absurd concept, the movie itself is pretty subpar. The characters are bland, the animation style was visually unappealing to me and the majority of the runningtime is comprised of the characters explaining how this world works. Hopefully this only feels clunky because it's setting up the much better sequels? Maybe? This is the first part of what will be a trilogy.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 26, 2018)

*Blade of the Immortal (2017)* was a fun, albeit exhausting samurai opus. I'm not familiar with the manga it is based on, but it feels like they crammed a very long manga into the restricted running-time of a movie. Director Takashi Miike attempts to flesh out every character and even though sometimes the dialogue is far too on-the-nose, I thought everyone was interesting in their own way. Nevertheless, the narrative has some noticeable gaps, as if there wasn't enough time to flesh out the entirety of the story...Although maybe there could've been time if 60% of the running-time wasn't comprised of mindless action...Bloody, flashy, stylish, AWESOME mindless action, but the movie is too long to sustain its brisk pace. Eventually, I just started to get numb to it all. But Miike's style, the top notch choreography and surprisingly nuanced characterizations kept me engaged.

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Jun 4, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> I'm not familiar with the manga it is based on, but it feels like they crammed a very long manga into the restricted running-time of a movie.



It didn't really do that. It's based on the two first arcs of the manga, which consists of four arcs all in all. I love the manga and I feel like Takashi Miike did an exceptional job with this. It's over the top and crazy, and I feel like it's very true to the manga. Really good and fun film imo.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 17, 2018)

is a kung fu flavored western-parody, starring Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. This was a pretty big deal when it first came out and I remember adoring it as a kid, but has it held up over the years? That answer is what reading the review is for and the link is in the films title!


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## MartialHorror (Jun 24, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEW

Accident Man (2018)* is a fun, zany Scott Adkins vehicle, where he plays an assassin who specializes in making his hits look like 'accidents', but has a crises in conscience when his ex-girlfriend is murdered by some colleagues. The supporting cast includes Ray Stevenson, Michael Jai White, Ray Park and David Paymer and they're all really good in their colorful and quirky roles, with Stevenson giving such a powerful performance that one almost wonders if he realizes he's in a B-movie. Scott Adkins though is perfectly cast here, being convincing as a cold blooded assassin, but somehow managing to be likable in spite of it. He's actually really funny and "Accident Man" was constantly making me laugh. The action scenes are fun, but I have to admit that my expectations were maybe a little high in this regard. The fight between Adkins, Park and White- which sounds AMAZING- seemed a little more like a rehearsal for what should be a much better battle. The choreography between Adkins and a deliciously over-the-top Amy Johnston was better, but it sometimes looked like Adkins was holding back, as if he was afraid he would 'accidentally' really hit her. Nevertheless, these fight scenes are still fine and the remainder of the hand-to-hand collisions were also stylish and fun. "Accident Man" excels more as a black comedy, but it has the right balance of action and humor, so it's definitely worth watching if you're in the mood for either. 

3/4


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 25, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> *INFORMAL REVIEW
> 
> Accident Man (2018)* is a fun, zany Scott Adkins vehicle, where he plays an assassin who specializes in making his hits look like 'accidents', but has a crises in conscience when his ex-girlfriend is murdered by some colleagues. The supporting cast includes Ray Stevenson, Michael Jai White, Ray Park and David Paymer and they're all really good in their colorful and quirky roles, with Stevenson giving such a powerful performance that one almost wonders if he realizes he's in a B-movie. Scott Adkins though is perfectly cast here, being convincing as a cold blooded assassin, but somehow managing to be likable in spite of it. He's actually really funny and "Accident Man" was constantly making me laugh. The action scenes are fun, but I have to admit that my expectations were maybe a little high in this regard. The fight between Adkins, Park and White- which sounds AMAZING- seemed a little more like a rehearsal for what should be a much better battle. The choreography between Adkins and a deliciously over-the-top Amy Johnston was better, but it sometimes looked like Adkins was holding back, as if he was afraid he would 'accidentally' really hit her. Nevertheless, these fight scenes are still fine and the remainder of the hand-to-hand collisions were also stylish and fun. "Accident Man" excels more as a black comedy, but it has the right balance of action and humor, so it's definitely worth watching if you're in the mood for either.
> 
> 3/4


I just bought the DVD so it better be good. i wish Netflix would fund some projects for him already.


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## Uncle Acid (Jun 25, 2018)

I fucking loved Accident Man. Old school Guy Ritchie "rip off" with Scott Adkins playing a slicker, more classy version of Jason Statham. Film was awesome!


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2018)

MINI-REVIEWS

- *Beyond Skyline (2017)*: Somehow "Skyline" got a sequel...and it eventually goes from being a sci-fi/thriller to being a sci-fi/martial arts flick, as the cast from "The Raid" show up and kick some alien ass...I am being dead serious right now...

- *The Good, the Bad and the Weird (2008)*: A Korean interpretation of Spaghetti Westerns, from the director of "I Saw the Devil". This is another re-post of an old writing.

-* The Face Behind the Mask (1977)*: An espionage kung fu flick with a dash of 'murder mystery'. Lo Lieh gets to be the hero for once. Allegedly, Jackie Chan makes an uncredited cameo as a masked assassin.

Read those HERE.


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## Uncle Acid (Jul 13, 2018)

I hated Skyline, but Beyond Skyline was pretty cool tbh. Not great, but entertaining and completely different. Thank god for that.

And The Good, the Bad and the Weird ranks among my favourite westerns. Pure brilliance from start to finish.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 20, 2018)

- The survivors of Godzilla's rampage during "Planet of the Monsters" discover that there is more sentient life on Earth than they thought, including Mechagodzilla, who has evolved into a...city? Huh? The concept makes no sense, but once again, I appreciate how imaginative the filmmakers can be. This is the 2nd entry in the Godzilla anime trilogy and it's about as good/bad as it's predecessor, albeit for different reasons. "City on the Edge of Battle" is an improvement when it comes to storytelling and character development, as the narrative is less cluttered and the characters showcase more personality. But it's a step down when it comes to pacing and spectacle, as little seems to happen until the finale and the action isn't very exciting. You have to decide yourself whether or not the trade was worth it, but I have mixed feelings. 

2/4


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## dr_shadow (Jul 23, 2018)

@MartialHorror 

Is Wuxia/Kung Fu dead?

Between ca. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) and Red Cliff (2008) there was what felt like an avalanche of Chinese action-adventure films. Which was conveniently just about the time I got interested in learning Chinese.

But now it seems like this genre in almost extinct save for the endless Ip Man sequels. The few battle-centred films I've seen since moving to Hong Kong in 2015 have been weighted down by excessive CGI "enhancement" that makes it impossible to tell if the actors have any real-life martial arts skills.

The last* good* Wuxia film I saw was probably Saving General Yang (2013) waaay back when I lived in Shanghai.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jul 23, 2018)

mr_shadow said:


> @MartialHorror
> 
> Is Wuxia/Kung Fu dead?
> 
> ...


So cgi = not wuxia?


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## dr_shadow (Jul 23, 2018)

The Kamal Haasan Crazy Hour said:


> So cgi = not wuxia?



Obviously the distinction between "kung fu" and "wuxia" is that the latter employs fantasy elements like flight and cutting rocks with swords. So some CGI can be acceptable in wuxia.

But if when you get to the level of The Monkey King (2014) or League of Gods (2016) it just looks like a long video game cut-scene.

In my opinion the famous scene from the Journey to the West novel where Sun Wukong solos all the Daoist gods should look something like the "burly brawl" in The Matrix Reloaded, but in the Monkey King movie they're just flying around in the clouds occasionally colliding with one another without any close-ups of impressive choreographic feats.

*Wuxia in 2000
*
*
Wuxia in 2014*


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2018)

mr_shadow said:


> @MartialHorror
> 
> Is Wuxia/Kung Fu dead?
> 
> ...



It depends on your perspective. I think a Wuxia movie can primarily be driven through CGI, but that won't necessarily make it good a good Wuxia flick. There was actually a period in the late 90's, early 2000's where wire fu became so dominant that no martial arts experience was required to be in a kung fu/wuxia movie. Then people got tired of it, so the genre returned to its roots. I think it happens more than we realize, as the genre alternates between traditional choreography and special effects. So CGI-Wuxia will have its day in the limelight...and then it will fade...


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## dr_shadow (Jul 23, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> It depends on your perspective. I think a Wuxia movie can primarily be driven through CGI, but that won't necessarily make it good a good Wuxia flick. There was actually a period in the late 90's, early 2000's where wire fu became so dominant that no martial arts experience was required to be in a kung fu/wuxia movie. Then people got tired of it, so the genre returned to its roots. I think it happens more than we realize, as the genre alternates between traditional choreography and special effects. So CGI-Wuxia will have its day in the limelight...and then it will fade...



But I liked my wire-fu.


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## dr_shadow (Jul 24, 2018)

So I watched Once Upon a Time in Shanghai (2014) to see if there was a good Yuen Woo-ping film I'd missed.

There wasn't. 

Fights were ok I suppose, but the plot wants to be some kind of Bruce Lee knockoff which doesn't realize it's not 1974 and you can't make movies with this little plot or character development. Especially when the lead is totally uncharismatic. (Lee could get away with his characters having paper-thin backstories because he was kind of just playing himself)

If you care for the character of Ma Yongzhen, who is based on a historical figure, then just watch the much better The Boxer from Shantung (1972).

Now I've seen almost all films Yuen has choreographed or directed since The Matrix (1999), and unless there's some hidden gem I've overlooked it seems he peaked with Fearless (2006). Everything since has ranged from_ "_meh" [Man of Tai Chi (2013)] to the outright embarrassing [Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (2016)].


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## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2018)

I haven't seen "Once Upon a Time in Shanghai", but I've heard it was mediocre. I actually enjoyed "Man of Tai Chi", but I'm still afraid to watch "Crouching Tiger 2". I will get to it eventually, but I want to revisit the first one before I do that. I remember loving the original one when it first came out, even seeing it multiple times in the theaters, but it has been a long time...and my balls are growing old...

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jul 25, 2018)

mr_shadow said:


> So I watched Once Upon a Time in Shanghai (2014) to see if there was a good Yuen Woo-ping film I'd missed.
> 
> There wasn't.
> 
> Fights were ok I suppose, but the plot wants to be some kind of Bruce Lee knockoff which doesn't realize it's not 1974 and you can't make movies with this little plot or character development.].



it's not 1974 and you can't make movies with this little plot or character development.].

The  Undisputed and Raid movies disagree.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 25, 2018)

The Kamal Haasan Crazy Hour said:


> it's not 1974 and you can't make movies with this little plot or character development.].
> 
> The  Undisputed and Raid movies disagree.



Technically, the Undisputed sequels have character development and "The Raid 2" has a pretty heavy plot.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2018)

I've seen lots of movies, SO INFORMAL REVIEW FRENZY

*The Deadly Breaking Sword (1979)* is a wuxia film starring Ti Lung and Alexander Fu Sheng. This is one of the only movies I can think of where I spent my viewing experience unsure who the villains and heroes were, as everyone has detestable and admirable qualities. The story is pretty messy and convoluted, especially as Alexander Fu Sheng's character is simultaneously annoying and pointless, even though he is technically the main character...maybe? The swordplay is good though, while the production values were top notch. I actually liked the ambiguous nature of the characters, as it made the proceedings a little unpredictable.

3/4

*Full Metal Alchemist (2017)*...tries...Unlike other bad adaptations of popular anime, it doesn't have contempt for the source material (Dragonball Evolution), nor does it seem to have a problem understanding ("The Last Airbender"). It tries to be faithful, but understands that changes need to be made for the medium...But it just sucks. The costumes and wigs look silly, the CGI is often embarrassing, the acting is so over-the-top that I started to feel embarrassed for the actors...and then embarrassed for myself for watching them...I will give credit to the filmmakers for some inspired art direction, with some shots looking like they were taken straight from the panel, but the environments often looked empty, so the visuals never felt that convincing. What's worse than all of this though? Ed and Al often appear to be passengers in their own story and only really fight at the beginning and the end...Or maybe it's the bizarre attempts at condensing a lot of the subplots from the source material, without giving context to them...Or maybe it's the long running time mixed in with all of this. Movie, I respect you for trying. I didn't feel angry like I did when I saw those "Attack on Titan" movies. But this was still pretty bad.

1.5/4

*Railroad Tigers (2016)* is a Jackie Chan movie, although it's more of an explosive, shoot 'em up than it is a kung fu flick. There are some AWESOME set pieces and the humor was 50/50. Sometimes I laughed. Sometimes I cringed. But this movie is WAY TOO VIOLENT for such silliness...I had fun with it, but it's definitely a flawed film. Not for everyone.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2018)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- ""

"Fists of Fury (1972)" was Bruce Lee's follow-up to his breakout hit, "The Big Boss", which was accidentally renamed into "Fists of Fury" in the west, forcing the distributors to change the title of the real "Fists of Fury" into "The Chinese Connection" to capitalize off of "The French Connection", even though the movies share no similarities...Wut?

And that isn't the most confusing part of this franchise...

"Fists of Fury" would become a cultural phenomenon in China and when Bruce Lee died, studios desperately flooded the market with imitations until they accidentally created a whole new subgenre. The "Fists of Fury" brand would be exploited to give the movement some credibility, leading to the development of sequels. But because no one gave a damn about copyright, multiple studios would try their hand at making the 'TRUE' sequel. These movies star the likes of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Bruce Li, Jet Li and Donnie Yen. For this review series, we discuss the surreal and bizarre behind-the-scenes drama, as well as the quality of the films, which includes-

- "Fists of Fury (1972)"
- "New Fists of Fury (1976)"
- "Fists of Fury II (1977)"
- "Fists of Fury III (1979)"
- "Fist of Legend (1994)"
- "Hero Youngster (2004)"
- "Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen (2010)"


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEWS
*
I watched "*The Flying Guillotine (1975)*" and its sequel, "*The Flying Guillotine 2 (1978)*", which is often known as "Palace Carnage". The first film doesn't contain a lot of fight scenes and is more plot and character driven, even though said plot and characters have some pretty awkward flaws. Nevertheless, it does boast a technical sophistication often lacking in the genre, with bleak visuals and haunting sound design. The sequel allegedly went through a troubled production, with its lead actress disappearing, its star walking off the set for financial reasons, directors leaving mid-production, new writers, reshoots, scrapped footage, etc. You can tell, as the hero (now played by Ti Lung) seems unimportant to what I think was supposed to be his story. Instead, the narrative favors this female warrior, even though she seems like an afterthought in both the beginning and the end too. I assume one director wanted to focus on Ti Lung, the other on her? I'm not complaining though, as I thought she turned in the better performance. The sequel is a step down overall, but it does have a lot more action, so you ultimately choose your poison as to which kind of movie you want. I love the titular weapon itself and these movies built themselves around the flying guillotines enough to be able to fall back on their coolness, whenever the flaws would start to arise. 

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Uncle Acid (Aug 30, 2018)

You seen Blood Drive? SyFy grindhouse series that sadly only lasted one season. It doesn't really bring anything new to the table, but it's a 13 episode long homage to grindhouse cinema in general with every episode dealing with a new theme. The main story is a lot like Death Race 2000 meets Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill! or something, but beneath that they've mixed in a new theme (genre) for each episode with drawing influences from zombie and cannibal horror, spaghetti western, sexploitation, biker- and carsploitation, Mad Maxploitation, splatters, kung fu ("chopsocky") and more.

I'm not done yet, but I'm soon finished. Really enjoying it, even though it's really flawed. But it's real fun if you ask me.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2018)

No, but I've heard about it and everyone seems to agree with you. I don't watch a lot of T.V, as I just don't have time to go through them all...and if I get hooked, I waste an entire day binging ("Slasher: Season 2", "Ash Vs the Evil Dead").


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## Uncle Acid (Aug 30, 2018)

I totally understand, even though I watch a lot of TV-series myself. I do prefer films tho.

How was Slasher season 2? Watched the first season, but thought it was a bit too long and filled with too much boring drama.

Not seen the last Ash vs. Evil Dead, but the two first seasons were amazing. First was really good, second was superb.

I think the next series I'm gonna watch is Channel Zero. Been told this is one of the best horror series ever. Anthology series with each season based on a different creepypasta. Sounds cool to me.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2018)

I haven't seen Ash Vs the Evil Dead (S3) either. Hopefully it streams on netflix soon.

I really liked "Slasher: Season 2", whereas I couldn't get into the first one. It's like "Friday the 13th" meets "And Then There Were None".


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## Uncle Acid (Aug 31, 2018)

Yeah, hope so too. Should be good, if it continues the progression it made from season one to two.

Sounds really cool. Will check it out for sure.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2018)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- ""

"The Avengers" was always the plan when "Iron Man" entered production, but Marvel Entertainment lacked any guarantee of success, as its most famous and iconic properties currently were in the hands of other studios. They ultimately had to take a $500,000,000 loan, using their remaining properties as collateral, meaning this venture HAD to be a success...and it was! And that is an understatement! Thanks to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, franchises and shared universes are so mainstream that it's kind of obnoxious. For this review series, we will be discussing 'Phase 1' of the MCU, which includes-

- "Iron Man (2008)"
- "The Incredible Hulk (2008)"
- "Iron Man 2 (2010)"
- "Thor (2011)"
- "Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)" 
- "The Avengers (2012)".


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## MartialHorror (Sep 24, 2018)

INFORMAL REVIEW CITY!

"*Bleach (2018)*" was a surprisingly decent adaptation, although like most of its kind, it ends up being overcrowded with too many characters- most of whom the movie doesn't know what to do with. But it is mostly faithful to the source material and the cast do a good job at breaking said characters to life, even if once again, the movie doesn't know what to do with them. The acting is over-the-top, but in a way that's charming. The special effects are good 'enough' and the action scenes are fun. I do wish they didn't rush into introducing Soul Society, but at least the final fight was awesome and it ends on a charming note. With all of this said, I don't think those who aren't familiar with the anime/manga will have a clue what is going on. I enjoyed it more than the rating suggests, but the target audience is pretty limited. 

2.5/4 

"*The Final Master (2015)*" is an unconventional kung fu flick with a good story, that's filled with interesting characters...and awesome fight choreography. HOWEVER, it's not really an action movie. It's a period piece drama, yet I didn't think the pacing was slow, nor did I feel like too much time passed by between fight scenes. I HATED the ending though, as it simply left me feeling weirdly empty. I think they were setting up a sequel? Maybe? Either way, too many loose ends bring down what could've been a masterpiece (in my eyes).

3/4

"*Kung Fu Yoga (2017)*" is Jackie Chan's attempt to conquer Bollywood...and he failed miserably, because this movie bombed something fierce in India. But that's okay, as it became Jackie's highest grossing film in China...Apparently this is a sequel to "The Myth", but does anyone actually remember "The Myth"? I saw it, but I can't remember anything about it. I thought this was a spiritual sequel to "Chinese Zodiac", which itself was a spiritual sequel to the "Armor of God" movies. It has the same exotic, racially insensitive appeal. "Kung Fu Yoga" is super cheesy and those who aren't familiar with Bollywood will probably groan when the entire cast- heroes and villains alike- break out into a dance routine. The movie isn't very good, as gaps appear to be missing out of the narrative and the characters are poorly developed. Some will 'betray' the team, but then it's as if the betrayals are forgotten within 5 minutes, so the traitor rejoins without conflict...At one point, Jackie is kicking all sorts of ass, but then it cuts to something else and then transitions back to Jackie, who is now tied up...having apparently been defeated off-screen...Also, WTF is up with the pandering? China is obviously courting India to join in on some of its Trade policies and they actually namedrop one of them...The fight scenes are pretty good though and I am a sucker for these kinds of silly adventures. "Kung Fu Yoga" isn't good, but there was somewhat of a smile on my face, as I was rolling my eyes at it. Once again...I enjoyed it more than the rating suggests. 

2/4


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## Karma (Sep 25, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> "*Bleach (2018)*" was a surprisingly decent adaptation, although like most of its kind, it ends up being overcrowded with too many characters- most of whom the movie doesn't know what to do with. But it is mostly faithful to the source material and the cast do a good job at breaking said characters to life, even if once again, the movie doesn't know what to do with them. The acting is over-the-top, but in a way that's charming. The special effects are good 'enough' and the action scenes are fun. I do wish they didn't rush into introducing Soul Society, but at least the final fight was awesome and it ends on a charming note. With all of this said, I don't think those who aren't familiar with the anime/manga will have a clue what is going on. I enjoyed it more than the rating suggests, but the target audience is pretty limited.
> 
> 2.5/4


The over inclusion of Byakuya and Renji is what killed the movie tbh. The first half should have focussed on Ichigo becoming a component Shinigami and the second half should have focussed on Grand Fisher. Anything soul society related should have only been hinted at once by like Urahara.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2018)

Luck said:


> The over inclusion of Byakuya and Renji is what killed the movie tbh. The first half should have focussed on Ichigo becoming a component Shinigami and the second half should have focussed on Grand Fisher. Anything soul society related should have only been hinted at once by like Urahara.



I agree. The Grand Fisher should've been the primary antagonist, although I think more of the screen-time should've been dedicated to Ichigo and Ishida's rivalry. But Urahara and Rukia can discuss that she's in serious trouble for breaking the rules. Then after Grand Fisher is defeated and everything seems to be going normally, Renji and Byakuya attack, kick the shit out of Ishida and leave Ichigo for dead, setting up the sequel. 

But obviously the filmmakers gave into fan expectations at the expense of the narrative...not that it helped, as the movie apparently flopped at the Japanese box office.


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## Karma (Sep 25, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> although I think more of the screen-time should've been dedicated to Ichigo and Ishida's rivalry.


I was triggered at how Ishida used that thing that summons more hollows only for it to go no where.

Imo Ishida have been feeling more inadequate as the movie goes on. For third act he could have decided to fight the Grand Fisher alone only to realize the only way he can beat him is with Ichigo's help.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2018)

Yeah. They Ishida was set-up to be important only for the movie to lose track of him. The 'bait' thing was jarringly pointless. At least with Chad and Orihime, the movie never tried to present them as anything more than background characters at this point. Ishida references Soul Society slaying his family, but...that's it...that's the extent of his backstory. A reference. 

And yeah, they should've just recreated the whole 'Ishida and Ichigo are forced to team up to take down that big Hollow (can't remember what they're called)' scenario from the manga/anime, except replace the big one with Grand Fisher...although Ichigo still kills Grand Fisher. 

Sometimes being too faithful can be problematic. They put in the 'bait' conflict because the source material did it, but only for that reason. 

Oh well, still better than the "Full Metal Alchemist" adaptation. lol


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## dr_shadow (Oct 2, 2018)

Just saw Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (1978) for the first time.

That shit was amazing. 

Thoroughly entertained the whole time, and as a Sinologist constantly confused at what time period this is supposed to be taking place in. The props are from all over the place; clearly leftovers from more expensive productions recycled for camp gem.

[I'm going to try and watch the complete works of Jackie Chan as a way of learning Cantonese]


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## dr_shadow (Oct 3, 2018)

Lol, Drunken Master (1978) is basically the same movie as Snake in the Eagle's Shadow. 

They were shot back-to-back with not only the same director (Yuen Woo-ping) and lead (Jackie Chan), but evidently also much of the same supporting cast, props, and sets.

Especially the sifu character is not only played by the same actor but also has the same costume and basic personality, to the point where I'm wondering if he's meant to be the same character or if it's just really, really lazy production.

They're asking for almost Peking Opera level suspension of disbelief when you're supposed to accept that what is_ clearly_ a 1970's Hong Kong restaurant is a tea house in the 19th century.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 3, 2018)

According to Jackie Chan's autobiography, he was under contract to Lo Wei, but all of his films were bombing. Lo Wei rented him out to Golden Harvest and Jackie Chan made "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow". It was so successful that the studio wanted more of it. I can't remember if Golden Harvest was so new that they simply did not have many sets or actors under contract or if they just wanted to embrace the formula as the industry was in a shitty place at the time, but yes...it was pretty shot with the exact same people, in the exact same locations.

I actually think "Drunken Master" is an improvement though.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 3, 2018)

Similar indeed, but I still think the overall tone of the films are different enough to make them feel like two very different films. Both masterpieces btw.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2018)

*MINI REVIEWS*- which can be read at my website!

-The Monkey King 3 (2018): Aaron Kwok continues playing the titular role in this adaptation of "Journey to the West".

-Legendary Weapons of China (1982): One of the most thrilling, inventive kung fu flicks of all time, starring Liu Chia Liang, Gordon Liu and Alexander Fu Sheng.

-Legend of the Red Dragon (1994): A strange kung fu-fantasy-horror movie that draws inspiration from "Lone Wolf and the Cub" and stars Jet Li. It also has the best (deliberately) bad dubbing of all time.

- Last Hurrah for Chivalry (1979): An early John Woo flick and one of my personal favorite swordplay films.


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## dr_shadow (Oct 6, 2018)

I think the villain in both Snake in the Eagle's Shadow and Drunken Master is the same actor. 

I'm calling him Chinese Tony Iommi.


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## dr_shadow (Oct 6, 2018)

Funny how a lot of these early kung fu films have no epilogue. They just say THE END as soon as the final fight is over.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 6, 2018)

I fucking love that! I also love how basically every single kung fu film from the 70's are filmed and sound. They look and sound so god damned awesome, and the way they use zoom and shit just blows my mind out no matter how many of these films I see. Doesn't matter if they're good or bad, the vast majority of them are a pleasure to watch no matter the actual quality.

How old are we talking here? 70's? The amount of brilliant martial arts films from the 70's is just crazy, but in all honesty that is something I can say about all the years between 65-95. And there's so much variety with the kung fu films as the genre was in an constant change during all those 30 years.

What you need tho are so complete and utter batshit crazy wuxia flicks, because those are pretty much the best movies ever made. But that's enough off-topic for now. Sorry MH.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 6, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> I fucking love that! I also love how basically every single kung fu film from the 70's are filmed and sound. They look and sound so god damned awesome, and the way they use zoom and shit just blows my mind out no matter how many of these films I see. Doesn't matter if they're good or bad, the vast majority of them are a pleasure to watch no matter the actual quality.
> 
> How old are we talking here? 70's? The amount of brilliant martial arts films from the 70's is just crazy, but in all honesty that is something I can say about all the years between 65-95. And there's so much variety with the kung fu films as the genre was in an constant change during all those 30 years.
> 
> What you need tho are so complete and utter batshit crazy wuxia flicks, because those are pretty much the best movies ever made. But that's enough off-topic for now. Sorry MH.



No need for apologies, as the only 'topic' for this thread is Martial Arts movies...and batshit crazy wuxia flicks are martial arts movies too.


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## dr_shadow (Oct 7, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> I fucking love that! I also love how basically every single kung fu film from the 70's are filmed and sound. They look and sound so god damned awesome, and the way they use zoom and shit just blows my mind out no matter how many of these films I see. Doesn't matter if they're good or bad, the vast majority of them are a pleasure to watch no matter the actual quality.
> 
> How old are we talking here? 70's? The amount of brilliant martial arts films from the 70's is just crazy, but in all honesty that is something I can say about all the years between 65-95. And there's so much variety with the kung fu films as the genre was in an constant change during all those 30 years.
> 
> What you need tho are so complete and utter batshit crazy wuxia flicks, because those are pretty much the best movies ever made. But that's enough off-topic for now. Sorry MH.



Both films I've mentioned are from 1978 (since filmed back-to-back).


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 7, 2018)

I know, as I have seen more martial arts films than I should have. I could basically have used the nick MartialHorror2 as I have spent 70% of my watching-time for the past 15 years on horror and martial arts flicks. I just thought you might have seen more.

Btw, 78 might be the best year for kung fu films ever so starting with movies from 78 is a smart choice. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, Crippled Avengers, Five Deadly Venoms, Invincible Shaolin, Warriors Two, Snake in the Eagle's Shadow, Heroes of the East, The Avenging Eagle, Drunken Master, Enter the Game of Death and Enter the Fat Dragon just off the top of my head. My mouth get watery just by writing this. It's that good.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2018)

*Headshot (2016)* is an Indonesian film starring Iko Uwais ("The Raid") and netflix appears to hold the licensing rights. From a storytelling perspective, the movie isn't worth much and the idiocy of all forms of Law Enforcement in this film is infuriating...Luckily, you're not supposed to care because it's a martial arts flick. The fight scenes showcase top notch quality, editing and direction, but it's the shocking violence that stands out the most. "Headshot" is very brutal, so only watch it if you have a strong stomach. I thought the villains had cool martial arts styles and it was interesting how Iko Uwais's character is presented as slightly less skilled than them- only winning through determination, cunning and luck. The movie allows Uwais to show more emotive range than we've seen from him before, but from an acting standpoint, Chelsea Islan stole the show.She's as charming as "Headshot" is violent! But make no mistake, good acting or not, this movie only exists for the fight scenes.

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 27, 2018)

The Night Comes for Us, man. Holy motherfucking fuck. I do not think I've ever seen an action/martial arts film nearly as violent, wild and crazy as this. Complete and utter madness from beginning to end, and it's nothing short of fabulous.

I think everything Timo Tjahjanto has made up until now, both alone and with Kimo Stamboel as The Mo Brothers, are really damn good, but with The Night Comes for Us he really takes things to a whole new level and just turned shit up to eleven, The Spinal Tap-style. WILD!!!


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## MartialHorror (Nov 4, 2018)

SOME INFORMAL REVIEWS!
*
Evil Cat (1987)* is a Dennis Yu movie, starring the great Chia-Liang Liu and it's about an evil, demonic, kung fu kitty...and it eats tuna and people...It's a pretty absurd experience, blending in horror with kung fu, special effects and comedy. Is it good? Not really, but to its credit, it never stops being weird. As expected from this time period, the tone is all over the place. It can go from incredibly silly to shockingly dark in a matter of minutes, but the finale has some cool stuff in it. I do have to warn you though, the subtitles are difficult to decipher, as it appears every word was translated literally...Characters will yell things like "it's an evil!" in regards to the titular cat. 

2/4

*China Salesman (2017)* convinced me that there should be an Oscar for "Best Bad Movie", because it would win. I can't remember the last time I witnessed such a beautiful trainwreck. I should warn you that I put on this movie with the expectation that I was watching a Steven Seagal movie, as the marketing promoted the big showdown between Seagal Seagal and Mike Tyson...which occurs during the first 5 minutes. It's not badly choreographed, edited or shot, even though it's obvious that Tyson is really battling Seagal's stunt double. It's absurd seeing Seagal no-sell some of Tyson's punches, but the ending of the fight...I spat out milk I wasn't even drinking! But both are supporting characters, with Dongxue Li being the real protagonist. I personally suspect that Seagal was forced into the narrative late into production. Tyson doesn't have anymore screen-time, but he clearly interacts with the cast and was important to the story. Seagal's screen-time could've been removed entirely and the plot would've been unaffected...I think? Maybe I'm wrong, because I had no f@cking clue what was going on. The story is an incoherent mess that relies on a lot of technical jargon that I suspect was made up by the writers. The acting is bad, because it sounds like half of the cast is delivering their lines phonetically...But then again, I would've said the same thing about Mike Tyson, except I know he speaks english. His acting is the worst, as he's putting on this ridiculous accent...that he sometimes drops...but the stilted delivery kept me in stitches so I aint complaining. There's also a nationalist message and I noticed that China is promoting real-life politics using its film industry. A character actually drops a speech about how the west is responsible for the slave trade, but that China is good. I couldn't take it seriously, but at least I think I was supposed to laugh when the characters wave around a Chinese flag dramatically...or ascend a tower holding one for absolutely no functional reason...oh wait, I wasn't supposed to be laughing? Oh well, I laughed anyway. "China Salesman" never stops with the unintentional hilarity, even when the movie climaxes and you realize there's still 30 minutes to go...I would usually be annoyed by that, but I didn't ever want it to stop. 

Yet what's even more bizarre than all of this? The movie was handsomely produced...at least from the context of a Steven Seagal movie...there is some good location work, decent set pieces and some of the action scenes were surprisingly ambitious...within the context of a Steven Seagal movie...If you just see it as a Chinese actioner, you'll probably think it looks cheap and embarrassing. But when Steven Seagal's face is devouring the f@cking poster, then it's a Steven Seagal movie and should be judged as such. Watch it for the amusement, not the thrills! "China Salesman" is currently available to stream on netflix. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2018)

*The Night Comes for Us (2018)* is an Indonesian martial arts film and it might just be the most violent entry within the genre that I've ever seen. The fight scenes are just as grisly as they are stylish...actually, I take that back...They are much grislier than they are stylish, even though they're pretty f@cking stylish. Much like "Headshot", it has a slow start, but once the mayhem begins, you are almost begging for it to stop and give you a breather. I said "almost", as "The Night Comes for Us" is f@cking awesome and I don't think I would change a damn thing about it. Iko Uwais ("The Raid", "Headshot") gets to be the antagonist this time around and while it's strange seeing him be the villainous foil to a much larger man, this is probably his best performance. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 23, 2018)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- ""

By the time 'Phase 2' had begun with "Iron Man 3", Marvel knew that it not only had a franchise on its hands, but it had a series of franchises that could form into the Megazord of movie franchises. The movies during this time period were all financially and critically successful, but there was a growing resentment towards the MCU. Was the saga collapsing under its own weight? Why is 'Phase 2' seemingly forgotten compared to the other phases? For this review series, we will be discussing 'Phase 2' of the MCU, which includes-

- "Iron Man 3 (2013)"
- "Thor: The Dark World (2013)"
- "Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)"
- "Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)"
- "The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)"
- "Ant-Man (2015)"


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## MartialHorror (Dec 3, 2018)

*UPDATE! *

I'm moving the re-reviews (ie: anything that was lost with my freewebs site) from the mini-reviews section to their own page, titled "The Corpses of Dead Reviews: Martial Arts". I've added two new re-reviews for your reading pleasure!

*Immortals (2010)*- Think "Clash of the Titans (2010)", dressed as "300".

*Urban Justice (2007)*- Steven Seagal tries to appeal himself to urban youth...He's 'gangster'. 



*INFORMAL REVIEWS!
*
*The Debt Collector (2017) *stars Scott Adkins and Louis Mandylor as two debt collectors who are gradually drawn into a nefarious plot. While there are some fight scenes, this is more of an action-comedy. It's not as clever as it seems to think it is, nor is it as funny as it wants to be. This isn't to say that the film fails, however. The cast is all having fun and they play off each-other well. The narrative might be devoid of substance, but it moves at a fast pace. It's watchable, but nothing stands out as memorable or exceptional. 

2.5/4

*The Last Dragon (1985)* is a slice of 1980's cheese, being part blaxploitation, part kung fu movie and all silly. The hammy performances, campy costumes and memorable characters gave this a lot of cult appeal. The narrative is comprised of too many different parts, but each one is entertaining. 

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Vault (Dec 4, 2018)

@MartialHorror no excuses now. Daggers 8 is on wu tang collection youtube channel. 

How many years has it been now


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## MartialHorror (Dec 8, 2018)

I intended to watch "*Creed II (2018)*" when it first debuted, but Black Friday flooded my theater's parking lot with shoppers, so I had to abandon my quest and wait until now...But I'm glad I caught up, because "Creed II" is a worthy sequel.

Sure, it's not quite as good as the first "Creed". Sure, the narrative is a little cluttered and not every storythread has a strong resolution for it. Sure, the plot is pretty standard. Sure, as good as the final fight was, it never reached the level of awesomeness that the first one did when the "Rocky" theme started playing...even when the "Rocky" theme starts playing in this one. But do you know what? That's perfectly okay, because the movie actually moved me to tears. For a movie like "Creed II", that's the best experience it can give me.

Expanding on my basic opinions, I really appreciated how the movie always kept Adonis as the central focus. I was worried (because Stallone was credited as a writer) that Rocky would get all of the juicy material, but it seemed like Stallone had LESS screen-time than he did in the first "Creed". The acting is great from everyone though and special mention has to go to Dolph Lundgren. For those who think he can't act, he conveys so much emotion with minimal dialogue and a perpetually stoic expression here. As I said, the final fight lacked the same impact as the first one, but it's still an emotional roller-coaster ride. The choreography and editing are top notch. Viktor Drago was an excellent villain, as he's intimidating, yet has his own character journey. "Creed II" is definitely worth watching in theaters if you liked the first one. I would also say it's superior to all of the formal "Rocky" sequels. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 22, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEWS OF FURY! *

*The Villainess (2017)* is a Korean martial arts flick starring Ok-bin Kim ("Thirst") and it's pretty awesome. The stuntwork and choreography were stylish and brutal...and while "The Night Comes For Us" has made every violent action movie seem tame in comparison, including "The Villainess"...this is still pretty gruesome itself. The director utilizes some creative ways of filming the mayhem and the colorful cinematography provided plenty of eye candy. The cast is in top form and the protagonist was compelling. Ok-bin Kim showcases her development well and while I thought the story was strong, it did come accompanied with some pacing issues. I personally believe that the movie played its hand too early by establishing that her love interest is part of the same agency. I feel like it would've been more dramatic if it was a twist. Finally, the ending left me feeling cold. It just felt like a bitter way of finishing the story. "The Villainess" might be a little long, but it still left an emotional impact on me...along with the visceral impact.

3.5/4

*Lady Bloodfight (2016)* draws inspiration from "Bloodsport" and the gimmick is that it's an all-female version of that movie. Allegedly, it was even originally supposed to be called "Lady Bloodsport", but they couldn't secure the right. The movie apparently went through a series of production woes, forcing the filmmakers to scale down there vision and it sometimes shows. There are some strange gaps in the narrative and some very hokey moments. Despite this, as well as a predictable and bland storyline, I enjoyed the movie. The fight scenes were plentiful and solid, with each combatant boasting their own distinct style. I wouldn't call the acting 'good' in the traditional sense, as some of the delivery is pretty stilted...But the cast all injected so much personally into their characters that I found myself liking them anyway. 

2.5/4 

@Vault this is for you!
*
Daggers 8 (1980)* is one of those old kung fu flicks with the classical style of choreography and familiar settings, complete with cheesy dubbing. It plays out a little like a mystery, as the protagonist is trying to find a kung fu master, only for those who agree to get brutally murdered. The twist is easy to see coming, but at least it's different and the characters are endearing. Yet who really cares?! "Daggers 8" is one of the better examples of this era when it came to choreography, which showcases a stunning display of acrobatics, style and precision. The training sequences were imaginative and funny, so even when the story is being a little lackluster, there's always some form of action to distract you from its shortcomings.

3.5/4

3.5/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Vault (Dec 22, 2018)

I knew you would like the film. It only took us about 5 years but who cares right?  

Its really great, it doesnt play out like a typical kung fu film and it actual had a twist. And with that film i dont think there are any great kung fu films you have missed  

5 pattern dragon claws perhaps? Has one of my all time favourite end fight scenes. That last fight was rough  With Dragon Lee and Hwang Jang Lee? Have you seen it? Not Dragon claws, that also has Hwang Jang Lee.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 22, 2018)

Vault said:


> I knew you would like the film. It only took us about 5 years but who cares right?
> 
> Its really great, it doesnt play out like a typical kung fu film and it actual had a twist. And with that film i dont think there are any great kung fu films you have missed
> 
> 5 pattern dragon claws perhaps? Has one of my all time favourite end fight scenes. That last fight was rough  With Dragon Lee and Hwang Jang Lee? Have you seen it? Not Dragon claws, that also has Hwang Jang Lee.



It doesn't ring a bell, but there was a point when I went through some many kung fu flicks of this era that I couldn't distinguish them.


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## dr_shadow (Jan 9, 2019)

@MartialHorror

Do you think I should watch or boycott the fourth (sixth) Ip Man film? 

One the one hand: "There are hardly any kung fu flicks coming out of Hong Kong anymore, so you kind of have to take what you're given and support the industry."

But on the other hand: "MAKE IT STOP!  "


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## dr_shadow (Jan 9, 2019)

At this point Ip Man is the Starbucks of kung fu.

I fucking hate Starbucks. But apparently everyone else loves them enough that they have a near-monopoly on the coffee market. So in many "remote" locations I have to choose between my loathing of Starbucks and my love of coffee.


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## Vault (Jan 9, 2019)

Another Ip man? Chinese people and beating a horse to death  i personally stopped at 2


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2019)

mr_shadow said:


> @MartialHorror
> 
> Do you think I should watch or boycott the fourth (sixth) Ip Man film?
> 
> ...





Vault said:


> Another Ip man? Chinese people and beating a horse to death  i personally stopped at 2



Hey, I'm cool with them as long as they continue to be good. 

Yeah -- audiences know how to beat a dead horse...but are American audiences any better? It is strange though how American audiences usually embrace genres or concepts when it comes to milking cash-cows, while Chinese audiences often use...people...as their cash cows (Wong Fei Hung, Chen Zhen, Ip Man). 

At least this is a Donnie Yen one.


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## dr_shadow (Jan 9, 2019)

Vault said:


> Another Ip man? Chinese people and beating a horse to death  i personally stopped at 2





MartialHorror said:


> At least this is a Donnie Yen one.



Is Donnie Yen even in this one? 

The title suggests that it is a spin-off (_waizhuan_ 外傳, Japanese_ gaiden_) about the character Zhang Tianzhi 張天志 from Ip Man 3 - the good-hearted but impoverished Wing Chun master who was forced into crime to feed his son.

I thought Zhang was the best part of IM3, because it's kind of unusual to have sympathetic anti-villains in this type of movie (especially this_ franchise_ where most of them are just racist caricatures), but does he really need his own movie?


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jan 9, 2019)

Vault said:


> Another Ip man? Chinese people and beating a horse to death  i personally stopped at 2


And your movie culture is different...

How?


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## dr_shadow (Jan 9, 2019)

Vault said:


> Another Ip man? Chinese people and beating a horse to death  i personally stopped at 2



To be honest Chinese cinema generally doesn't do sequels. The majority of their movies are stand-alone. Likewise their tv shows typically only run one season and then go away forever.

So being a film fan in China end up being more about following a certain director or actor across several unrelated productions, rather than following a distinct series. Though sometimes you can imagine informal series like Zhang Yimou's "wuxia trilogy". I don't think he's ever said if_ Hero _(2002),_ House of Flying Daggers _(2004), and_ Curse of the Golden Flower_ (2006) are meant to take place in the same universe, but nobody would be surprised if they were.

Ip Man in a relatively rare case of the same character played by the same actor sustaining a franchise that's now spanned over a decade.

And now that they're giving Zhang Tianzhi his own movie we're maybe even entering the first Chinese cinematic universe.


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## Vault (Jan 9, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> And your movie culture is different...
> 
> How?


You think im American? Thats cute


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## Vault (Jan 9, 2019)

mr_shadow said:


> To be honest Chinese cinema generally doesn't do sequels. The majority of their movies are stand-alone. Likewise their tv shows typically only run one season and then go away forever.
> 
> So being a film fan in China end up being more about following a certain director or actor across several unrelated productions, rather than following a distinct series. Though sometimes you can imagine informal series like Zhang Yimou's "wuxia trilogy". I don't think he's ever said if_ Hero _(2002),_ House of Flying Daggers _(2004), and_ Curse of the Golden Flower_ (2006) are meant to take place in the same universe, but nobody would be surprised if they were.
> 
> ...



Because their shows especially the wuxia ones are based on novels and those are behemoths. The story has to be told in 40 episodes to cover everything that happens. Especially works of Louis Cha. But then they are like dozens of the same shows remade every 5 years. Legend of the condor heroes is on its 10th remake.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2019)

mr_shadow said:


> Is Donnie Yen even in this one?
> 
> The title suggests that it is a spin-off (_waizhuan_ 外傳, Japanese_ gaiden_) about the character Zhang Tianzhi 張天志 from Ip Man 3 - the good-hearted but impoverished Wing Chun master who was forced into crime to feed his son.
> 
> I thought Zhang was the best part of IM3, because it's kind of unusual to have sympathetic anti-villains in this type of movie (especially this_ franchise_ where most of them are just racist caricatures), but does he really need his own movie?



Maybe we aren't talking about the same movie. Donnie Yen has said he's working on "Ip Man 4" though. 

It is funny to me that Ip Man is the subject of so many movies though, as his life was nowhere near as eventful. I do hope "Ip Man 4" finally makes Bruce Lee an important character, as his shoehorned presence has become my biggest issue with the franchise...

I mean -- the first movie has him defeating a Japanese General in public and doing all sorts of crazy stuff, but the ending text treats his training of an eventual movie star as a bigger deal...

The second film didn't bother me as much, since at least child Lee was making a cameo.

He's present in "Ip Man 3", but I don't him actually doing anything. 

I get why he's included, as in real life, his relationship to Bruce Lee was what he's famous for. But when you fictionalize his life to such an extent that he's fighting Japanese Generals, Boxing champions and f@cking ninja (in the spin-off), training a movie star seems largely irrelevant. But if "Ip Man 4" becomes ABOUT the relationship between him and Lee (fictionalized it may be) and the latter plays a bigger role in the story, then at least the franchise is doing something a little different and it gives a pay-off to 3 movies of build-up.


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## dr_shadow (Jan 9, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> Maybe we aren't talking about the same movie. Donnie Yen has said he's working on "Ip Man 4" though.



I'm talking about :



I'm trying to use the English title as little as possible because it's so stupid. The Chinese title is just_ Zhang Tianzhi_ (i.e. the protagonist's name), but I guess they're thinking foreign audiences can't pronounce the surname "Zhang", so they renamed it_ Master Z_, which sounds like it's a completely different type of movie.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2019)

Interesting...

Not a bad cast though. Michelle Yeoh, Batista and Tony Jaa? I'm getting irritated that there still has been a 'Donnie Yen Vs Tony Jaa' fight scene, even though they've collaborated a few times.

The english title is pretty silly. I probably would be down with it if it was a bad movie, but the reviews seem OK.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2019)

2018 has concluded and quite frankly, the year could go f@ck itself with a spoon, but even though I don't venture out to the theaters as much these days, I had plenty of positive experiences--both on the big screen and the small one. So without further ado,

*...and the 2018 releases that he wasn't so fond of...
*
_And as a bonus, INFORMAL REVIEWSTER! _

*King of Fighters (2010) *might be a contender for the 'Worst Fighting Video Game Adaptation of all time...', except I've already seen "Tekken 2: Kazuya's Revenge", so it's hard to get an emotional rise out of me. "King of Fighters" is probably comparable to "Mortal Kombat 2" or an Uwe Boll experience, but it's strangely...dull...for such an incompetent piece of shit. The plot is nonsense and the characters keep indirectly acknowledging that it's nonsense, but I can't bring myself to laugh at it. There is some talent involved here -- both behind and in front of the screen -- and yet everything still sucks. The action relies on shitty CGI effects, bad choreography and plot devices that never made sense. The cast is already handicap thanks to their annoying characterizations and awful dialogue, but the only one who really seems to be trying is Maggie Q. Everyone else either seems bored, embarrassed or aren't taking the material seriously in the worst kind of way. "King of Fighters" is just a bad, bad, bad movie. 

1/4


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## dr_shadow (Jan 15, 2019)

Ok, here I am in the theater about to watch Ip Man 4 (6). Congratulations, bloodsuckers, you got my money yet again.

Will make a thread about it in ca. two hours when it's done.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 29, 2019)

*Hapkido (1972)* might have the usual 'Japan sucks' message that permeated the Hong Kong film industry during the time period, but it's usage of the Korean martial art known as 'Hapkido' gives it some flavor...and the fact that it's pretty f@cking awesome. Angela Mao is the protagonist, with Sammo Hung and Carter Wong giving her strong support, but Wong In Sik threatens to steal the show with his incredible kicking abilities. Narratively, this is problematic as he more-or-less only shows up for the 3rd act, even though it's mostly build around his presence. Yet did it matter in the long run? "Hapkido" is action-packed and the choreography was exciting and unique. 

3.5/4 

*Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018)* is based off a popular manga/anime, but I only watched it because it was directed by the great Jee-woon Kim ("I Saw the Devil"). I'm not familiar with the source material, although I hear that the content is 'softened' up for the live action adaptation -- and the setting is changed from Japan to Korea. I spent a lot of my viewing experience not having a clue what was going on, as there is a lot of back-story, characters who seem important but quickly vanish from the narrative, a complicated conspiracy going on and it's all in subtitles. I normally prefer subtitles, but maybe I should've selected the English dubbing, as it might've been easier to keep up. Yet I still enjoyed the movie for its awesome visuals. I expected a lot of CGI, but they appeared to have built some kick-ass sets too. The music is moody, yet the lighting is stylish and the action was thrilling. When a character suits up near the end, it is so awesome that it guaranteed "Illang: The Wolf Bridgade" would not get a negative review...so instead it gets a positive one!

3/4 
*
God of War (2018)* is a Chinese historical war film, directed by...Gordon Chan? I shit you not -- I watched this right after "King of Fighters", which was also from the same director. This isn't perfect and it might even be a middling entry in this trend of bid budgeted war epics from China, but it's still pretty good. How did it share the same director with a piece of crap like "King of Fighters". Anyway, the battles were pretty good and the Japanese characters are surprisingly nuanced. I liked the emphasis on strategy, but for whatever reason, little about it stands out. There might be too many characters and storythreads for its own good, even though none of them are dull or unlikable. 

3/4 

and finally...


I saw the new "*Dragonball Super: Broly* *(2019)*" movie and...am I the only DBZ fan that wasn't impressed? From an animation standpoint, it was definitely the most polished of the revival films, so I can't deny that it was sometimes gorgeous to behold. I was going to do a full review of this, but I realized I had too...much...to say...So here are the cliff-notes

- I prefer Broly from the original movie, but NOT the sequels. People say he had no personality, but...he did...He wasn't a deep or nuanced character, but he was an imposing villain and it was satisfying/terrifying seeing him manhandle ALL of the strongest characters at the time. The sequels did strip away his personality though, so I get why people dislike Broly. As for his characterization here, he is a much more rounded character. I just didn't think he was that effective as an antagonist. It would've been cool if he was presented as the protagonist, except he never undergoes any real character arc. Broly just goes with the flow. His troubled relationship with Paragus has no real pay-off either; which is very distracting during his final scene.

- The narrative is messy. The first act is the best, because it's focusing on Broly and his back-story was interesting enough. Then it focuses on Bardock, which...sucked...I really don't like how this movie is trying to soften the image of saiyans. Then Goku and Vegeta take the stage and the film becomes one big fight scene.

At first, I thought it was awesome as the choreography had more style than the previous movies and the music was incredible. But there reaches a point where I started to grow numb to it. The action just went on for too long and was enslaved by the formula. This works fine for a 30 minute episode, but is exhausting within the context of a 90 minute long movie. "Gogeta Vs Broly" should've been amazing, but by that point, I was bored and wanted it to just end.

The dialogue was often blunt exposition, which is funny because if you don't follow the show, you'll still have no clue WTF is going on. Yet I did enjoy the humor. There were a handful of laugh-out-loud moments. I also really liked what they did with Frieza. His "image" has softened and he can have silly moments alongside the rest of the cast, yet he's still very much a villain.

But overall? I was a little disappointed. If you're a fan of "Dragonball", I would still recommend it, as everyone else seems a lot more thrilled with it than I was. I think it has enough good stuff to be worthy of a rental.

2/4


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## Karma (Jan 29, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> - I prefer Broly from the original movie, but NOT the sequels. People say he had no personality, but...he did...He wasn't a deep or nuanced character, but he was an imposing villain and it was satisfying/terrifying seeing him manhandle ALL of the strongest characters at the time.


Does the fact the original Broly's motivation was Goku's crying not bother u?


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## MartialHorror (Jan 29, 2019)

Luck said:


> Does the fact the original Broly's motivation was Goku's crying not bother u?



It bothered me, but not as much as it bothered everyone else. But was his motivation that much better in the new movie? He never really seemed to care about vengeance and was only going along with Paragus's plan. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



 Even when Paragus died, it seemed strangely irrelevant because Broly had already lost control, he never discovers Freeza was his actual killer and he seemed perfectly chill towards Goku at the end.




Even if the crying was silly, at least it had a pay-off. Furthermore, Broly really just seemed to want to cause wanton destruction in the original movie. Goku's crying only came into play when Broly snapped and broke out of Paragus's control. After then, he beats the shit out of everyone equally, seems to show some admiration for Goku and speaks coherently. So was the crying really his motivation? 

It's a strange trade-off. New Broly is still a more nuanced character and I'd be cool with the new direction if he was presented as the actual protagonist or at least had a moment where he defied his Father or gained control over himself -- actual character development. But the original Broly had a more menacing presence, so left a bigger impact on me. 

Although I strongly disliked the Broly sequel, where Broly has no personality, presence or nuance.


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## Karma (Jan 29, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> *Spoiler*: Even when Paragus died, it seemed strangely irrelevant because Broly had already lost control, he never discovers Freeza was his actual killer and he seemed perfectly chill towards Goku at the end.
> 
> Even if the crying was silly, at least it had a pay-off. Furthermore, Broly really just seemed to want to cause wanton destruction in the original movie. Goku's crying only came into play when Broly snapped and broke out of Paragus's control. After then, he beats the shit out of everyone equally, seems to show some admiration for Goku and speaks coherently. So was the crying really his motivation?


I'm guessing their saying a lot of these pay offs for a later arc, plus 50% of this movie's script had to be condensed/cut.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 29, 2019)

Luck said:


> I'm guessing their saying a lot of these pay offs for a later arc, plus 50% of this movie's script had to be condensed/cut.



And it's possible that I'll feel like it was worth it after seeing his completed story -- which happened with that anime Godzilla trilogy. I do feel like the story here was too ambitious. I dont think the Bardock stuff was necessary. It probably would've had a better flow if it focused entirely on Broly, instead of balancing amongst all the characters.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 5, 2019)

*Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kingdoms (2018)* is the immediate sequel to "Young Detective Dee: Rise of the Sea Dragon" and a prequel to "Detective Dee: The Mystery of the Phantom Flame" and admittedly, part of the problem with this entry is I couldn't remember a lot about either of those movies. I feel like certain characters and storythreads were probably introduced in one of its predecessors, which would make this story feel a little more meaningful and complete, but I drew a blank  here. Yet these movies are all pretty good, boasting extravagant production values, flashy action sequences and fun -- if absurd -- mysteries. The pacing is smooth and fast, even with the excessive amount of subplots and lengthy running-time. "The Four Heavenly Kingdoms" is neither superior or inferior to the others, but it might be the 'worst' from the standpoint that it requires you to actually remember the others to get the most out of it, so maybe include this as part of a trilogy binge? But even though I chose not to do so myself, I still had fun watching it... even if I doubt I'll remember it in the long run. 

3/4

*The Kick (2011)* is directed by Prachya Pinkaew ("Ong Bak") and even though it appears to be a Thailand production, it focuses on Korean martial arts. I'm not familiar with any of the Korean performers, but the Thai supporting cast includes JeeJaa Yanin ("Chocolate") Mum Jokmok ("Ong Bak"; "The Bodyguard"). I can't call "The Kick" a good movie, because narratively, it's... kind of a disaster... The plot often makes no sense; the characters make no sense; the tone makes no sense and sometimes even the action scenes will make no sense. The comedy is broad to the point of being too silly for my tastes. My eyes often rolled and I'm pretty sure I spent most of the movie groaning at something stupid that I think I was supposed to laugh at. Yet in spite of all of this -- the fight choreography is still very good. The humor might be more dumb than amusing, but sometimes it contributes to the action in a unique and flashy way (such as when a character uses his 'sick dancing moves' to take on the baddies). "The Kick" is action packed and the stuntwork is sometimes grueling (and awesome). I was initially going to give this a 2/4 stars, because its faults are incredibly faulty, but the blooper reel at the end made me respect the suffering of the cast and crew. I genuinely believe "The Kick" has one of the harshest blooper reels I've ever seen, with nasty botched moves, critical injuries, dangerous stunts gone wrong and at one point, it even looks like one of the injured actresses starts to cry before the camera cuts away. Yikes!

2.5/4

*Showdown in Manila (2016)* was marketed as a cheap knock-off of "The Expendables", starring Casper Van Dien, Mark Dacascos, Cynthia Rothrock, Don 'the Dragon' Wilson, Tia Carrere and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, although the protagonist is technically the unknown (to me) Alexander Nevsky. Unfortunately, I say "marketed as", because it probably would've been better had it been a rip-off of "The Expendables". "Showdown in Manila" doesn't know how to really utilize its... impressive by my standards... cast. The majority of them are cameos and they barely interact with each-other, with most of the screen-time being dedicated to Nevsky and Dien. On the plus side, Casper Van Dien gets to steal the show as the sex crazed private dick (hehe), while Alexander Nevsky's performance is so wooden that it goes full circle and is kind of charming. The budget is too low for any of the action scenes to impress, with the martial arts choreography being sluggish and kind of awkward. The story is garbage, but at least some of it is amusing garbage. I can't really recommend "Showdown in Manila", even to bad-movie fans, but I also can't really bring myself to hate it either. Interestingly -- the director was Mark Dacascos himself. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 2, 2019)

*Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)* was a pleasant surprise for me, as I had a somewhat lukewarm reaction to its predecessor, but I actually kind of loved this. I found the humor to be a lot funnier, the action to be a lot more exciting and the animation to be a lot more eye popping. I understand why many -- maybe even most? -- would disagree with me, as the first film had a sturdier narrative, but this entertained me a lot more. Big props to Gary Oldman for his performance as Lord Shen, who's somehow the perfect blend of amusing and sinister. I also enjoyed Michelle Yeoh as the Soothsayer. The supporting cast is still underutilized (why is Jackie Chan voicing Monkey again?), but they're... less underutilized... when you consider how pointless some of these casting choices were in the first one. 

3.5/4 

*The Magnificent Trio (1966)* is a Hong Kong remake of the Japanese Chambara classic, "Three Outlaw Samurai", but I wasn't too impressed with it. Jimmy Wang Yu, Lei Cheng and Lieh Lo (who gets to be a good guy for once) are all very good as the titular trio, but I'm always weirded out when Chinese filmmakers adapt Japanese properties, because they have very different methods of conveying drama -- especially back in the 1960's. "Three Outlaw Samurai" was gritty, draw and dusty, while "Magnificent Trio" looks so polished that you expect the matte paintings functioning as the backdrops to collapse at any moment. It has the same aesthetic and style of every Chinese swordplay flick at the time, but it doesn't feel right for this story. The acting is so over-the-top, but it makes the drama seem kind of insincere and hard to take seriously... like when a widow is making flirty eyes with one of the heroes; even though he killed her husband... like two days prior... It just doesn't work. For the record, I'm not insinuating that Hong Kong dramas are inferior; it's just a matter of cinematic sensibilities not meshing well together.  

2/4 

*Revenger (2018)* is a grisly South Korean martial arts film that can currently be streamed by netflix. HOLY SHIT -- this was quite the brutal actioner. Blood, guts, bones breaking... "Revenger" is unflinching with its violence and you will most certainly flinch from its violence. The choreography is good, although the emphasis is on the brutality of the fighting, but there is... just... one... little... major... problem... "The Night Comes For Us" already did a lot of this and did it better to the point of spoiling me. I feel strange comparing these two, as "Revenger" is one of those 'criminals being thrown on an island' type of scenarios, which I am strangely fond of. But its concept is underutilized and only exists to give the cast and stuntmen space to wreck some shit. "Revenger" is also VERY tonally confused and you're going to have to endure some annoying, out-of-place silliness to enjoy the mayhem. Yet even if the final result is a bit of a mixed bag, "Revenger" is still my kind of mess. 

3/4 

*Journey to the West 2: The Demons Strike Back (2017)* is the much anticipated sequel to my beloved "Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons". I can't overstate my love for the first film and it MIGHT even be in my top 10 personal favorite movies of all time, but this sequel kind of sucks. It relies a lot on bad CGI effects; the character redesigns are distracting; the humor is more noisy than funny and the characterizations are infuriating. In some ways, the characters behave more like they do in the source material than they did in the previous film -- let it be noted that "Conquering the Demons" was both the best and most unfaithful adaptation to the epic novel, but the problem is that it now feels like "The Demons Strike Back" is ripping off "The Monkey King" trilogy. Before you argue that they're simply returning the characters to their roots, ALL OF THESE MOVIES exaggerate how they behaved in the novel, so it still ends up feeling like "Journey to the West 2" is drawing way too much inspiration from its competitors. This reveals an even greater problem in that there are WAY TOO MANY Monkey King movies out there right now and all of the filmmakers seem to borrow the same characterizations and stories from the source. Want another Bone Lady antagonist? Want to see Sun Wukong and Monk Tang have a falling out? Want to see Monk Tang possibly find love that comprises his quest? There are A LOT more stories and characters in the source material, you know? IT'S SUCH A BIG NOVEL THAT IT'S OFTEN SPLIT UP INTO FOUR NOVELS! 

I won't say that every joke fails or that there isn't a cool visual here and there, but only two things left me with happy feelings. For one, I really enjoyed hearing the musical cues from the first film. These movies boast awesome soundtracks! Secondly, the ending seems to suggest that the Monkey King and the Monk might be gay for each-other. Whether or not that was intended to be a gag, it was the only moment of sincerity throughout the entire feature and hey... if nothing else, that definitely was not in "The Monkey King" trilogy! I ship it! Even though I hated the redesigns of the characters and was disappointed that the original actors had been switched out, I thought the new cast did good with the material they had to work with. But overall, "Journey to the West: The Demons Strike Back" is probably my least favorite movie to come out of this trend. 

2/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (May 17, 2019)

*INFORMAL REVIEWS*

*The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017)* was the much maligned entry of the 'Lego Movie' franchise that flopped at the box office and probably damaged the brand, but it's not that bad. The animation is still stylish and the choreography excels both in the mech battles and the martial arts duels, although it f@cking better excel when the medium isn't restricted by real-life physical limitations. The jokes are very hit-or-miss though, with some standing out as uproariously funny and others being embarrassingly lame. The story is pretty messy too, so I understand the reception, but it's still fine if you keep your expectations under control.

2.5/4

*Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)* was... good... My reaction is somewhat muted compared to "Kung Fu Panda 2", which I thought was awesome, but this was still a solid entry/ potential conclusion to the trilogy. It's consistently amusing, has some heartfelt moments, is beautifully animated and the action choreography is exciting, but I just wasn't blown away by any of it. In fact, I had a similar response to the first movie, which I also thought was pretty good, albeit in 'one-and-done' kind of way. Kai (J.K Simmons) has been criticized as being an inferior villain compared to his predecessors, but that sort of reflects my feelings towards the movie as a whole. I thought he was a good villain, it's just that his predecessors were exceptional villains who were arguably more compelling than the movies they appeared in. It's definitely worth watching if you're a fan of the first two, so I can't call it a disappointment, because my expectations were the real enemy.

3/4

Now even though this is not a martial arts franchise, I'm also promoting my new Compulsive Franchise Disorder review series on the "Ernest" franchise.

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - ""

The character of Ernest P. Worrell (played to Jim Varney) might've been forgotten by younger viewers over the years, but he was a stable of my generation's collective childhood. He was like the weird - yet fun - uncle, whom are parents never wanted around the house. We loved watching him clumsily cause mayhem, make funny faces, use silly voices and get routinely abused in cartoonish ways, yet once we remove those nostalgia goggles... we realize that his movies were reviled by critics and were only financially successful because they were so cheap to produce.

I myself learned that Ernest was conceived as a local T.V advertising gimmick, but his popularity grew to a national level, leading to him becoming a "movie star". There was also a TV show I had never heard about, titled "Hey Vern, it's Ernest". I was also aghast to discover that the majority of this film series were direct-to-video releases... and that many more projects were in development when Jim Varney passed away... and that Ernest's real-life creator, John Cherry, misguidedly attempted to keep the character alive after Varney's death... This marathon was a very educational experience for me, even though I thought I grew up with these movies.

But how does one return to the world of Ernest without being blinded by nostalgia or setting aflame happy childhood memories? Were these films unfairly condemned? Has the franchise been vindicated by history? Or were they only popular because us kids lacked quality control? Were they a simply a phase we like to pretend never happened? We discuss this and more for the Compulsive Franchise Disorder review series of the Ernest saga, which includes --

- "Doctor Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam (1986)"

- "Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)"

- "Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)"

- "Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)"

- "Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)"

- "Ernest Rides Again (1993)"

- "Ernest Goes to School (1994)"

- "Slam Dunk Ernest (1995)"

- "Ernest Goes to Africa (1997)"

- "Ernest in the Army (1998)"


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## MartialHorror (Jun 11, 2019)

*The Fearless Hyena (1979)* is a pretty good kung fu flick, marking Jackie Chan's directorial debut, but I find its behind-the-scenes story a little more fascinating. Jackie Chan began his leading man career under contract for Lo Wei (the director of "Fists of Fury"), who recognized his talent, but had absolutely no idea how to utilize it. Jackie would be misguidedly packaged as a Bruce Lee clone, would be miscast in wuxia roles, villainous parts, melodramatic storylines, which lead to him becoming box office poison. Even his forays into comedy during this period failed, because he was being forced to do what Lo Wei found funny, not... well, what was actually funny. Eventually Lo Wei gave up on him and loaned him out to Golden Harvest, where Jackie was finally given some creative control and he started making genre classics -- which did CRAZY business at the box office. Yet he was still under contract with Lo Wei, so he would make one more movie for him, under the condition that he'd have full creative control. Lo Wei agreed and "Fearless Hyena" would probably be their best/ only good movie together. 

With that said... you can kind of tell that Jackie is making this more out of contractual obligation than legitimate inspiration. This is one of those movies where you can see that there is a lot talent on display and everyone is putting in all the effort required to make an exceptional kung fu flick, but the spark that pushed "Drunken Master" and "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" into greatness is missing. This just feels a little too formulaic and even the gimmick (emotional kung fu) seems kind of forced in there at the end. I actually forgot that there was a plot with stakes, up until the villain suddenly shows up later in the money. Nevertheless, the action scenes are still entertaining, boasting stylish and fluid choreography; while being consistently amusing. The "emotional kung fu" element might've not been incorporated into the story very well, but it does make for a fun final battle. I especially loved the villains exasperated reactions to Jackie's mugging. The behind-the-scenes story would actually continue, as Jackie would fight hard to get out from under Lo Wei's control, leading to the director utilizing his Triad (chinese mob) Connections to force Jackie into making "Fearless Hyena 2" -- with cheap equipment and little-to-no budget to work with. Jackie would only work on the movie a little bit before enlisting the help of Jimmy Wang Yu, who also had connections with the Triads and would serve as a mediator between Lo Wei and Jackie Chan. Eventually... a deal was reached and Jackie Chan was free, although he'd have to appear in some Jimmy Wang Yu movies ("Island of Fire"/ "The Prisoner 2000" and "Fantasy Mission Force"). Lo Wei would finish "Fearless Hyena 2" using body doubles and recycled footage from the first movie, which infuriated Jackie Chan, who unsuccessfully tried to block its release.

I love these kinds of production stories, lol.   

2.5/4 (I keep flip flopping over whether this is a 2.5 or a 3/4 star movie. It's close either way). 

*Wheels on Meals (1984)* has 'that park', which "Fearless Hyena" lacked, but also embodies one of my biggest problems with Jackie Chan's works at the time... These movies can get really f@cking annoying. The comedy isn't just noisy, but it often makes the characters very difficult to like. I often found myself in a state of frustration, such as how we're supposed to sympathize with the potential love interest, whom the story surrounds, even though she's done little to earn it. Why do Jackie Chan and Yuen Biao keep bullying Sammo Hung? Outside of some cheap laughs? This isn't to say that the movie isn't funny... in fact, I used to hate this movie as a kid, but a lot of the gags have grown on me. The cast has good chemistry and there are some imaginative (or dangerous) visual gags. It's just often a bit too aggressive for my tastes, as most comedies in Hong Kong were at the time. "Wheels on Meals" does do a phenomenal job at utilizing the talents of its three stars. Jackie Chan probably has the best sense of timing -- both comedic and physical -- throughout the entire genre. His choreography has such a flawless rhythm to it that takes my breath away every time. His final fight with Benny 'The Jet' Urquidez is often regarded as the "BEST" fight scene ever put on film, which I don't know if I agree with, just because labeling something as "THE BEST" is an alternate way of saying "MOST OVERHYPED"... but it's pretty f@cking phenomenal. Yet I do love how Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao bring their own styles to the choreography, as Hung showcases how agile he is in spite of his weight and Yuen Biao is freakishly athletic. I might have a lot of issues with the movie, but they're worth enduring. 

3/4 

*Rampant (2018)* is a South Korean... zombie... martial arts... period piece!? F@CK YEAH! This movie has it all -- comedy, drama, action, horror, intrigue, lavish looking sets and flashy costumes as befitting of their time period. "Rampant" does a good job at making their zombies surprisingly menacing, while using them to choreographic stylish battles. The production values are top notch too, making this one of the more expensive looking zombie flicks out there. I really enjoyed the genre mashup and even the political intrigue fit snugly amidst all of this zombie mayhem.

3.5/4 

*Bat Without Wings (1980)* is a strange kung fu... murder mystery/horror flick?! YES! MY TWO NAMESAKE GENRES HAVE UNITED AT LAST TO MAKE... this... "Bat Without Wings" is an unusual example of the genre, as it's campy to the point where it's often hard to take seriously -- the villain's makeup is supposed to be menacing, but he looks like he's a KISS fan. Yet it does have some genuinely chilling moments and sometimes it finds the perfect blend of campy and creepy, such as when a dead woman seemingly haunts her relatives. "Bat Without Wings" is often very atmospheric thanks to its surreal -- yet flashy -- set design and spooky cinematography, but it also deals with some unsettling content. The titular antagonist, for example, is a serial rapist, making his interactions with the female characters quite uncomfortable... even though the movie never quite crosses that line. There are a lot of twists and turns, which sometimes don't make any sense and the big reveal was so transparent that I'm honestly shocked that the heroes struggled to connect the dots. Speaking of whom, the good guys are quite dull, whereas the villains are pretty entertaining to watch, with even the silly makeup sometimes adding to the fun to be had. The fight scenes are pretty good too, even though the "horror" oriented scenes upstaged the action choreography, in my opinion. Overall, I love it when a kung fu flick stands out like this, so I kind of love this movie, warts and all.  

3/4   

*Legend of the Tsunami Warrior (2008)* comes from Thailand, back when they were still considered the new capital of Martial arts flicks thanks to the success of "Ong Bak"... I wish I could like this, as it's an action epic focusing on pirates and naval sieges and... weird... magic... stuff... It sounds really cool on paper and while the production values were admittedly impressive, I spent the ENTIRETY of my viewing experience having absolutely no f@cking clue what was going on. I was in a constant state of confusion, as certain characters are established as being likable, but then they're suddenly villains, or maybe they're established as potential antagonists, only for them to suddenly be likable... The story is jumping back and forth in such a way that I just couldn't keep up with any of it, deflating any entertainment I could've had with it. 

1.5/4

*Black Eagle (1988)* might showcase Jean-Claude Van Damme in the promotional material, from the headlines to the cover art, but it's really a starring vehicle for Sho Kosugi. You probably know him now for appearing as the antagonist in "Ninja Assassin", but during the mid-to-late 1980's, ninja's were the hottest trend of low budgeted actioners in Hollywood. Kosugi either rode that wave into temporary fame or was the face of the phase depending on how you look at it, but either way, his star rose and fell along with the trend. This was one of his last movies, while it was one of Van Damme's earliest movies, where he gets to play the villain. It's very easy to tell that the filmmakers recognize Van Damme's talents, as there are some gratuitous scenes of him showing off his athleticism and physique, even getting a marginally pointless subplot presumably to show off his sex appeal. To be fair, he does steal every scene he's in, even though his acting is pretty bad. Sho Kosugi is an enigma to me, as there's very little about him that stands out... and yet he does stand out, for reasons I can't quite figure out. He's not especially handsome or charismatic; whatever acting abilities he has struggles against his thick accent or his limited English; his legit martial arts abilities are never utilized to their fullest, because the choreography is relatively standard and underwhelming compared to what China and Japan was doing. Yet there was something special about him that makes his (usually subpar) movies worth watching. He has his own brand of charisma; his own distinct look; his own unique style. His fight scenes with Van Damme are actually quite decent and I'm surprised how much Sho Kosugi puts Van Damme over, giving him the cooler moves and presented Van Damme as the more dominant of the two. It not only makes Van Damme look good, it also makes the fights a little more exciting, as Kosugi looks like the underdog -- whereas he usually just mows through his opponents. It's not a bad action flick and I think the hostile reception it gets amongst viewers is mostly due to the deceptive marketing. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2019)

*Triple Threat (2019)* boasts the greatest ensemble of martial arts stars since "Enter the Dragon" -- including Iko Uwais ("The Raid"), Tony Jaa ("Ong Bak"), Scott Adkins ("Accident Man") Tiger Chen ("Man of Tai Chi"), Michael Jai White ("Black Dynamite"), Jeeja Yanin ("Chocolate"), Celina Jade ("Legendary Assassin") and UFC fighter Michael Bisping. I should warn you that not every role is worthy of their performer and the narrative is very... flawed... For example, Iko Uwais is technically the protagonist, but it feels like he spends the movie getting his ass kicked and the final battle is between Scott Adkins and Tony Jaa. Scott Adkins is a blast as the villain, but Michael Jai White is relegated to being his support and Jeeja Yanin is wasted in a cameo. I can't say that this was the action masterpiece I was hoping it to be, but it's still pretty good. The action is MUCH less martial arts-centric than I was expecting, seemingly focusing more on shoot-outs and chases, but when fists or feet fly, the choreography is both stylish and brutal.

3/4 

*Bridge of Dragons (1999)* was directed by Isaac Florentine ("Undisputed 2-3") before... well, Isaac Florentine became good... although in his defense, "Bridge of Dragons" is one of those high concept ideas desperately trying to overcome a low budget. It technically takes place in a post-apocalyptic future, where the "present meets the past" or some shit, which is just an excuse for the movie to use whatever props and sets they can get their hands on, so there will be present day vehicles and weaponry, mixed in with period piece costumes, swords and stupid names like Warchild. There is one surreal scene where characters are trying to buy women with horses, even though there is a perfectly good car laying about. "Bridge of Dragons" was a Dolph Lundgren vehicle, but I was more taken aback by Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa who's using his normal voice, even though he's playing the villain. He usually puts on his stern, accented, EEEEVIL voice when being the bad guy, so it's kind of strange watching him act and sound chill... all the way up until he impales someone... Anyway, "Bridge of Dragons" is bad, but it's the kind of bad I enjoy. It's strange, easy to make fun of and yet does showcase some good choreography or stuntwork here and there. I was never bored. 

2/4 
*
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)* was a big deal when it was brought over to the west nearly two decades ago, doing shockingly well at the box office and being nominated for Oscars. I remember falling in love with it so deeply that I went to see it in theaters like three times and rented it enough on video that I probably would've saved money just buying a copy. Yet despite this, I haven't seen it in at LEAST 10 years, even though my interest was sparked with the arrival of the sequel. Does it hold up well? YES! Even though "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" does rely on wire works, CGI and green screens, the visuals still hold the same power that they did 20 years ago. The choreography is so good and the effects are so seamless that it is shocking when you realize that these performers don't have a lot of real-life martial arts skills. Yet "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" is more of an epic than a traditional wuxia movie. It is an adventure! A romance! A coming-of-age story! There's intrigue and comedy and tragedy! There's even intrigue, a mythology and lots and lots of philosophy, which somehow doesn't feel preachy or stilted. Each of the characters have their own personalities, styles and weapons, even their own strategic maneuvers that play a big role in the action. "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" has everything and if there is any true flaw...

It's that I wanted more!

There are a lot of characters, each with their own subplots that have to make room for each-other in a relatively standard 2-hour running-time. I didn't feel like anything -- or anyone -- was underdeveloped, but I found myself wanting more. Actually, I take what I said about it having no real flaws, as I don't really like the ending. But even then, that ending ties into my desire to see these adventures continued. "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" is awesome and I'm baffled that Chinese audiences weren't impressed with it, because I view it to be a masterpiece.

4/4 

*Heroic Trio 2: Executioners (1993) *REALLY feels like it wasn't originally written as a sequel to "The Heroic Trio", but they managed to adapt all of these characters and their dynamics in anyway, as it's stylistically and tonally totally different from its predecessor. This takes place in a post-apocalyptic landscape and is MUCH bleaker, while also maintaining some silliness itself. While the first one is better, this still does enough bad-ass moments to entertain. I was also stunned at some of the developments, even if the story is very messy and it's so tonally confused.

2.5/4 

*My Lucky Stars (1985)* pissed me off when I saw it as a kid, as it was marketed in the west as a JACKIE CHAN movie, with nary a Sammo Hung in sight on the box cover. In actuality... I don't really know how to describe this, but apparently this is sort of a sequel to "Winners and Sinners" -- which I haven't seen -- and was always meant to be an ensemble, blending in all sorts of genres. Kung fu is simply one of them, but I would say most of the screen-time is dedicated to the kind of slapstick humor I find more noisy than funny. A lot of the jokes might offend modern audiences, with one of the sources of comedy being sexual harassment. But is it a bad movie? No and I enjoyed it more this time around because I knew what to expect. The scenes with Jackie Chan are so good though that he ends up stealing the show, making you wish the story was following him instead of Sammo Hung's band of fools. This isn't to say that all of their jokes failed... I was usually amused... but I would've been more than happy to just watch the action scenes on youtube. The finale is awesome, with a fun location, slick choreography and some amusing gimmicks. "My Lucky Stars" does at least end on  a high note. Yuen Biao also has an extended cameo.

2.5/4 

*Bandits, Prostitutes and Silver (1977)* stars Don Wong, Angela Mao and Lo Lieh, but the REAL star of the movie is its female director -- Pao-Shu Kao... or at least that's what the opening credits want you to think. While all the names flash up on screen, we see footage of each of the performers in the middle of their fight scenes, except they freeze frame on their most awkward derp faces. But after the cast has been introduced, "Bandits, Prostitutes and Silver" shows off its director -- something I can't think of ever having scene before, who's looking quite photogenic. I laughed and... honestly, can't remember much of the movie after that. The choreography is good and the final shot is genuinely inspired, almost worth its mastermind being flaunted throughout the opening credits. But Don Wong is so devoid of charisma in this (leading) role... not helped by his character being kind of dumb... that you wish the story focused on anyone else instead. The supporting cast actually had compelling stories to work with, so it's strange that the protagonist was the one wet blanket to be found here. The editing might be to blame for his performance though, as one VERY IMPORTANT TRAGEDY befalls him and he doesn't even have a real reaction to it. It's as if they forgot to film it... or maybe the film was damaged and they had to find spare footage to splice in there. Anyway, it's pretty standard stuff overall. I'm a big fan of Angela Mao though, so I was willing to endure the flaws for her. 

2.5/4 

*Eastern Condors (1987)* caught my attention when I was little, as I just changed the channel to Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao performing in some of the most bad-ass, violent action scenes that I had ever seen (at the time). Yet I missed the title and it took years for me to track this down. "Eastern Condors" is unique, because it's one of the few kung fu flicks that actually uses the Vietnam War as a setting, giving it a much different kind of aesthetic than most. It's also one of the few times I've seen Sammo Hung in a leading role where he wasn't comedic relief. Most Sammo Hung flicks during this time period were silly, but then would become inappropriately dark for a few scenes. "Eastern Condors" is VERY dark, with a few scenes of inappropriate comedy. I honestly wasn't sure what to make of it and while Sammo looks spectacular in the action scenes, his character is pretty dull and Sammo does very little to liven him up. This might be the ONE TIME I've ever seen Yuen Biao upstage one of his "brothers", as he showcases a lot of personality. From a story perspective, this is kind of a disaster, as it really feels like "Eastern Condors" is imitating what it has seen in better Vietnam War movies, without understanding why its inspirations worked. But do you know what!? HOLY SHIT -- "Eastern Condors" looks like it was hell to film. The choreography is fast, stylish and shockingly brutal for the time, while the stuntwork makes excellent use of its setting. The cast looks like they were taking some serious bumps and performing very dangerous stunts. There is a lot of shootouts and explosions, but they blend in very nicely with the hand-to-hand stuff. So if you want a different kind of kung fu actioner and don't mind enduring some bad (perhaps even tasteless) writing, then "Eastern Condors" will blow you away. 

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2019)

*Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (2016)* was one of the earlier netflix originals and boasts... one of the stranger developments that I've seen in my lifetime... Has there ever been a sequel filmed in an entirely different language than its predecessor? The original film was a Chinese production that ended up being more successful in the U.S than its own country, so the idea was to make the sequel more for American audiences by having it filmed in English. The end result is a strange concoction of mostly Chinese-Americans such as Jason Scott Lee and Roger Yuan putting on phony accents, delivering lines that sound like they were conceived by an American writer who was trying way too hard to make the lines sound Chinese... even though they're in English... Everyone was just looks and sounds uncomfortable saying this stuff. The villain is f@cking named Hades Dai... HADES DAI... How can any actor properly sell a name like that?  Interestingly -- the best performances came from Michelle Yeoh (reprising her role) and Donnie Yen, probably because their accents are authentic, so their delivery doesn't feel as forced. By the way, despite being promoted as the star, Yen is just really part of an ensemble, for better or worse.

While I loved the original enough to want a sequel, I feel like this was a misguided project from the beginning. "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" was a big hit for its time, but it's not like it's had the most enduring legacy. The visual effects here are somehow WORSE, despite the 16 year advancements in cinematic technology. Yuen Woo-ping is a great action director, but he's a much different kind of filmmaker than Ang Lee, so this doesn't even try to recapture the same aesthetic or style that made the first film so special. Lee was always more of an artistically minded director and the action in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" was built around dramatic and powerful imagery. Yen Woo-ping has always been about exciting and fun choreography, which is great, but not really in line with Lee's vision. To his credit though, the action scenes were smoothly choreographed and the action is plentiful enough that I never felt bored. I don't think that "Sword of Destiny" is necessarily a terrible film... at least within the context of being a wuxia-flavored kung fu flick... but it doesn't ever excel enough to make up for the fact that it is a pretty shitty sequel.

2/4
*
Shaolin Temple 3: Martial Arts of Shaolin (1986)*  is often just referred to as "Martial Arts of Shaolin" and I suspect that it's relative obscurity in the west is partially to do with its association to the "Shaolin Temple" trilogy, as well as its... attempt to downplay its association to the "Shaolin Temple" trilogy. This has nothing to do with quality, as the first "Shaolin Temple" was great and its sequel had some greatness within it, but they were designed for Asian audiences -- who presumably weren't creeped out by all of the child nudity and romantic leads accidentally killing and devouring his love interests dog. Western audiences, on the other hand, would find this kind of stuff mortifying, so these movies never really got the same distribution and attention that even inferior Jet Li movies received. Sometimes cultural differences make... er... all the difference. Yet "Martial Arts of Shaolin" is such a bland title that when I saw this was available for streaming on netflix, I assumed I had already seen this as I've seen far too many movies with similar titles. So this was a special experience for me, as I had thought I'd seen Jet Li's entire catalogue of films.

"Martial Arts of Shaolin" isn't anywhere near as good as the first "Shaolin Temple" and while I consider it easily superior to "Kids of Shaolin" (AKA: "Shaolin Temple 2"), it's not really as memorable. Yet it's still a very exceptional kung fu film, showcasing impressive production values for the time and some incredible action sequences -- built around epic set pieces, such as the Great Wall of China. The choreography is fast, furious and precise, with everyone showcasing amazing feats of athleticism and technique. The story is pretty subpar and there's this whole segment where it seems like "Martial Arts of Shaolin" gets lost in its spectacle, as way too much time gets dedicated to this festival. But am I really complaining when said festival highlights everything awesome about this movie? Not really. If they found a better title, this would probably be much more highly regarded in the west, as I don't think any of the cultural differences would offend our sensibilities. Yeah, the humor would fit our definition of "too broad", but we've willingly endured that for worse. I thought some of the gags were actually pretty funny (Jet Li in drag) and even when I groaned or rolled my eyes, the action scenes would kick the crap out of any negativity I felt. So if you're a kung fu fan and aren't sure if you've seen this, check it out as it's currently available to stream on netflix and amazon prime.

Of course -- this review is entirely from the perspective of an American. In China, this trilogy was very successful and helped push Jet Li into stardom.

3.5/4

*Detective K: Secret of the Virtuous Widow (2011)* is a comedic mystery from South Korea, set during 1782 and while it's not really a martial arts movie, there is some action befitting the genre. It's pretty silly, but I will admit to finding Kim Myung-min's dedicated performance as the eccentric, titular detective to be pretty funny. I also found the mystery to be pretty engaging, with enough thrills, twists, laughs and action set pieces to keep the narrative running smoothly. There are two sequels, but I probably won't see them until they're more readily available.

3/4
*
Why Don't You Play in Hell? (2013)* is a very broad, silly, absurd... wickedly violent... Yakuza film that's so batshit insane that it can't really be categorized as anything. The only reason I'm including it here is because of the finale, where the entire cast engages in a prolonged, bloody and stylish, sword slinging brawl -- reminiscent of a samurai flick. It took me awhile to get used to this madness and I do think the narrative is inherently flawed because important characters vanish for long stretches of time, but it's strange and unpredictable in the best possible way. I never knew what to expect from it.

3.5/4

and currently in theaters...

I watched *Hobbs & Shaw (2019)* and it was the absurd, entertaining nonsense that I was hoping it to be. Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham not only have great chemistry and are convincing bad-asses, they seemingly have fun chemistry with everyone else. There wasn't a dull person and the surprise cameos were also hilarious and I hope they appear in sequels. I found the humor to be very funny as well, regardless of how juvenile it often became.

The movie rarely stops to take to take a breather, but if there is one true flaw, it's that it just feels too long. By the time the 3rd act rolls around, I was burned out. Nevertheless, the action choreography was very good and there are plenty of epic moments sprinkled throughout. The special effects are admittedly hit or miss, but oddly, I never minded when they didn't look convincing. The dialogue was also sometimes hard to take seriously, especially when exposition is being dropped, but it's not like the movie was taking itself seriously either. "Hobbs & Shaw" is deliberately trying to be cheesy, so if you prefer your action flicks more grounded in reality or edgy, then maybe this isn't for you. Tonally, it's embracing the sillier aspects of the (latter) "Fast and the Furious" movies. But where was Owen Shaw? I found it strange that he's never really referenced.

The action balances shoot-outs, explosions, car chases and hand-to-hand combat, with the latter being surprisingly well choreographed. Both Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham have their own distinct fighting styles and the filmmakers give them both a lot to do physically, each showcasing a lot of their own bad-ass moves. Idris Elba is a convincing foil for both of them, although I felt the weakest action scene was the finale, where the lighting suddenly becomes a lot murkier. I guess you can argue that it's more dramatic, but I guess I preferred the action when it was meant to be sillier.

3/4


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## dr_shadow (Aug 7, 2019)

CTHD2 was terrible. 

Worst thing is I saw it with two visiting friends from Sweden, because I proposed "wouldn't it be cool if you saw a Hong Kong martial arts film *in Hong Kong*?"

I took them to the largest theater in town, to bring the hype up to 11. What could go wrong when it says Yuen Woo-ping on the poster?

Then we got this.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 7, 2019)

mr_shadow said:


> CTHD2 was terrible.
> 
> Worst thing is I saw it with two visiting friends from Sweden, because I proposed "wouldn't it be cool if you saw a Hong Kong martial arts film *in Hong Kong*?"
> 
> ...



I'm curious how closely based it was on the book... or if it was faithful and the original wasn't... All of this talk of "the iron way" was not present in the first film.


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## dr_shadow (Aug 7, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> I'm curious how closely based it was on the book... or if it was faithful and the original wasn't... All of this talk of "the iron way" was not present in the first film.



I've been meaning to read the books, but surprisingly I don't see them prominently displayed in Chinese book stores, and I've been too lazy to go out of my way and search for them.


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## Deathbringerpt (Aug 27, 2019)

Rewatched Kung Fu Hustle. Love the shit out of it. Anything you guys can recommend that's similar?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 27, 2019)

Deathbringerpt said:


> Rewatched Kung Fu Hustle. Love the shit out of it. Anything you guys can recommend that's similar?



Shaolin Soccer for sure. Actually, Stephen Chow tends to favor similar tones in general, so a lot of his works will do. "Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons" is a personal favorite.


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## Deathbringerpt (Aug 27, 2019)

Shaolin Soccer was my next movie but I've also seen it way back in the day. Gonna see that second recommendation since it seems I'm just basically asking for more Stephen Chow movies.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2019)

If I ever compiled my "Top 10 Favorite Movies OF ALL TIME" list, *Enter the Dragon (1973)* would probably have a spot reserved, even though I'm not entirely sure why as it is flawed. Every time I watch it, I always raise an eyebrow at some wasted material, such as how a scene is dedicated to establishing Han's daughters being his bodyguards, only for them never appear again. Yet "Enter the Dragon" has so much personality that it transcends the questionable script and the somewhat dated martial arts choreography. Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly and John Saxon are so cool in their roles, each equipped some of the most iconic one-liners in genre history. I love the exotic locations and even if some of the fight scenes look a little stiff, they're still compelling from a storytelling perspective. I don't know if there will ever be anything quite like this, as "Enter the Dragon" showcases so much talent that... even bit roles went to people who would become genre icons. Besides the big three, Angela Mao, Bolo Yeung, Bob Wall, Sammo Hung and even Jackie Chan make appearances. But why is it a personal favorite? I saw it at the right age, at the right time, so my martial arts movie tastes were arguably built around "Enter the Dragon". 

4/4   

*Enter the Ninja (1981)* would definitely not appear in my "Top 10 Favorite Movies OF ALL TIME" list, but it's responsible for the "ninja" trend that had its moment in the 1980's. The movie stars Franco Nero ("Django") as a ninja, who wears a white uniform, which should tell you the kind of movie "Enter the Ninja" truly is. His on-screen nemesis, Sho Kosugi, would benefit the most from this production as he would become the face of this wave of ninja flicks, possibly because he was the only one in the iconic black uniform... seriously, what kind of ninja assassin would go around dressed in white or red?! "Enter the Ninja" is easy to make fun of as it's dumb and cheesy as hell, but it's also entertaining as hell -- partially because of the cheesiness. The cast is surprisingly good, MUCH better than what this movie deserves and the filmmakers give them a surprising amount to do. If you have Christopher George as the greedy, vile tycoon villain, you might as well make him a wannabe artist whose canvass is a pool, and his materials are hot models. Franco Nero somehow turns in a dignified performance, even though his voice is dubbed over, his stunt double is visibly thinner and he looks ridiculous dressed as a ninja. But even minor characters have stand out personalities, so even when people weren't fighting, I was still enjoying myself watching them. The action is more akin to your usual fist cuffs from any other 1980's flick, with some martial arts sprinkled in. The choreography isn't great, but the finale is alright, even if Sho Kosugi is clearly fighting Nero's stunt double. It's a fun movie, if not a particularly good one.

3/4 

*The Great Battle (2018)* is an epic war film from Korea, based on a true event that occurred during 645AD. If you like "Red Cliff" and its brethren, you should enjoy this, as it's cut from the same cloth. The special effects are ambitious and usually convincing, while the editing and chaotic camerawork actually enhance the choreography instead of obscuring it. I enjoyed the use of tactics and strategies. The characters would come up with some inspired and innovative ideas, which I haven't seen before. The character stuff is underdeveloped, but the action is the real star of the movie and it's exceptional. While most of these kinds of films are good, I'm having difficulty differentiating a lot of them, even though the settings and stories are usually different. I'm not entirely sure why, but I don't know if I'll remember "The Great Battle" in the long run.

3/4   

*A Chinese Odyssey, part I: Pandora's Box (1995)* is a bizarre adaptation of "Journey to the West", starring Stephen Chow. The movie takes so many liberties with the source material that it's really more inspired by "Journey to the West" than it is an adaptation of it, but it was pretty influential towards subsequent adaptations. Chow would eventually direct "Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons", which is... a little closer to the source, I guess... and he would use some of the music motifs that began here. This was a strange experience for me, as "Pandora's Box" is so high energy that it's practically hyperactive, but it's also unpredictable and never burned me out. The special effects might lack polish, but they're very imaginative. The humor is very broad and some of it will raise eye brows in this day and age, but I usually found it funny. Every once in awhile, it will even be sweet or sad and it works. The characters are surprisingly interested and well developed, despite the cast being fairly large. Stephen Chow's movies during this time period are very much an acquired taste, as you can rightfully consider them to be noisy, so I can only recommend this if you're willing to risk being annoyed. But I was charmed.  

3/4  

So why didn't I like *A Chinese Odyssey, part II: Cinderella (1995)* as much? The first film did an exceptional job at making me care about the characters, their journeys, their developments and their relationships... and this sequel throws a lot of them out, as now we're following an entirely new love story, even though it's not like the first one had closure. This isn't to say this the sequel is bad. There are still fun set pieces, amusing comedy and the finale does provide an excellent pay-off to the overall story. Up until then though, I was mostly emotionally detached. For what it's worth, this is still a highly regarded follow-up and many even view it to be the superior entry. It's definitely less hyperactive, so I guess I can see why, even if I don't agree. More recently, there was a part 3, with an entirely new cast, but it apparently sucks. 

2/4 

*Justice, My Foot! (1992)* is another comedy starring Stephen Chow, but whereas "A Chinese Odyssey" balanced laughs with fantasy and kung fu, this is more a comedy... with some kung fu... I was surprised to learn this was directed by Johnnie To, as I'm more used to his dramatic gangster films. The humor is broad to the point of being juvenile, but I usually laughed. Stephen Chow is mostly known for "Shaolin Soccer" and "Kung Fu Hustle" in the west, his output in the 1990's is much more unrestrained and silly. You might hate it, especially if you're not used to Chinese humor. But I find it to be unpredictable, so the gags often caught me off guard, which I loved. I might even prefer Chow's comedic timing over Jackie Chan's. 

3/4   

I was eagerly looking forward to *Mile 22 (2018)* until the negative reviews came in, because how could it go wrong? It was Iko Uwais's ("The Raid") Hollywood debut and he'd star opposite of Mark Wahlberg and John Malkovich, with Peter Berg ("Deepwater Horizon") directing. But bad buzz scared me off and I waited until the movie would come to me. Now that I've seen it, it's not bad. Even though the martial arts was heavily promoted in the marketing campaign, Iko Uwais only has a few fight scenes -- they're awesome. Most of the action involves explosion, gunfire and yelling, but I thought the editing kept things intense. This is a fast paced affair, so what's the problem? You hate all of the characters, because every word that comes out of their mouths is unpleasant, angry and there isn't anything to really offset their vitriolic interactions. The villains somehow end up being more likable, because they at least seem affable, even if what they do is horrendous. Mark Wahlberg's protagonist in particular is clearly meant to have some social disorder, but you'll spend the movie wanting to see him get his ass kicked. "Mile 22" might misfire, but it still was watchable. 

2.5/4 
*
The Butterfly Murders (1979)* was Tsui Hark's directorial debut and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to like it. A wuxia styled murder mystery set in a mysterious castle, where the cast is terrorized by a killer dressed in bondage gear, who uses F@CKING BUTTERFLY'S as weapons? That sounds amazing! Unfortunately, the transfer sucked, so the subtitles often missed their cues or were just plain wrong, which was a death blow for a movie with such a convoluted plot. I'm not entirely sure why half of these subplots were necessary. The editing is so bizarre that the fight scenes are often a challenge to follow and the characters were pretty boring, yet somehow removed in ways that are so unsatisfactory that I think Tsui Hark was doing it deliberately. How can you not laugh at the conclusion? The movie has some pretty good atmosphere though and benefits from being unusual.

2/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Sep 13, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> I was eagerly looking forward to *Mile 22 (2018)* until the negative reviews came in, because how could it go wrong? It was Iko Uwais's ("The Raid") Hollywood debut and he'd star opposite of Mark Wahlberg and John Malkovich, with Peter Berg ("Deepwater Horizon") directing. But bad buzz scared me off and I waited until the movie would come to me. Now that I've seen it, it's not bad. Even though the martial arts was heavily promoted in the marketing campaign, Iko Uwais only has a few fight scenes -- they're awesome. Most of the action involves explosion, gunfire and yelling, but I thought the editing kept things intense. This is a fast paced affair, so what's the problem? You hate all of the characters, because every word that comes out of their mouths is unpleasant, angry and there isn't anything to really offset their vitriolic interactions. The villains somehow end up being more likable, because they at least seem affable, even if what they do is horrendous. Mark Wahlberg's protagonist in particular is clearly meant to have some social disorder, but you'll spend the movie wanting to see him get his ass kicked. "Mile 22" might misfire, but it still was watchable.
> 
> 2.5/4


I enjoyed it's insanity, wish i would have watched it on the big screen.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2019)

While I don't usually talk about TV shows or mini-series's, I thought I'd make a special exception *Wu Assassins (2019)*, the Iko Uwais martial-arts fantasy developed as a netflix original. This was a very strange experience for me, as it's sometimes REALLY good and other times it's REALLY bad, although I was certainly never bored. I personally feel like "Wu Assassins" would've been much better if it scrapped the entire fantasy-themed storyline, as I found the story of Iko Uwais becoming a vigilante, attempting to clean up the streets run by his criminal Father figure played by Byron Mann to be much more compelling. All of the characters are shockingly well written, allowing the cast to show off their charisma, chemistry and eccentric personalities. I enjoyed all of their interactions, dilemmas and appreciated how you never were totally sure whether or not they could be trusted. Byron Mann's Uncle Six steals the show, as he'll spend one scene making you hate him, then the next making you kind of love him. Even though I'm a huge Iko Uwais fan, from an acting standpoint, he was arguably the most boring of the cast -- although he makes up for it by excelling in the action department. Speaking of which, the fight scenes were stylish, yet gritty and violent, worthy of anything else starring Uwais. 

"Wu Assassins" is a phenomenal crime drama, but it kind of sucks when it turns into a 'fantasy', which is a problem because the entire show is supposedly built around that genre. The content starts relying on crappy CGI effects and the dialogue starts to sound really hokey, as the cast struggles to sell us on all of this mystical exposition. Yet despite this, I was still with the show, especially as there does reach a point where the "crime drama" and "fantasy" merge seamlessly in such a way that the good started to assimilate the bad into its being. We get a cool "Iko Uwais/Mark Dacascos Vs Byron Mann" fight that snugly blends martial arts choreography with... fire bending, for lack of a better word... and the story does go in some directions I did not see coming. But then the last episode or two ended up letting me down in almost every way. I found the emotional pay-offs to be lacking, the climactic battle to be underwhelming and all of the resolutions surrounding the characters and their stories to be unsatisfying. The sequel hook also had me rolling my eyes. I REALLY hope Season 2 -- assuming it happens -- can fix this, as I was reminded of my love-hate relationship with "Gotham". Nevertheless, "Wu Assassins" was a very fun binge watching experience, even if I often grew frustrated with it. I won't rate it, as TV shows or web series can't be judged in the same way that movies are, but I'd recommend it to martial arts fans. 

*Exit Wounds (2001)* was supposed to be Steven Seagal's big comeback after a string of financial failures, but even though it actually was a surprise box office hit, he subsequently squandered the opportunity with "Half Past Dead". While one can argue that Seagal added some star power to "Exit Wounds", I'd argue that it's success had more to do with riding the wave begun by "Romeo Must Die", which marketed martial arts flicks towards black audiences. I had totally forgotten about this trend, but it did keep the genre alive in the west for a little bit longer. Even though I love taking the piss out of him, this is a solid Steven Seagal flick, primarily because it's one of the only ones where Seagal's character gets taken down a peg from time to time. The story makes a big point to emphasize that the traits which usually make his characters awesome can lead to a lot of collateral damage, so the Seagalisms create just as many -- if not more -- problems than they solve. He even gets knocked down from time to time, is unable to decisively defeat his co-star (DMX) and arguably even loses the sword fight between him and Michael Jai White. This makes him far more interesting than he usually is and there's one funny moment that makes light of Seagal's standard characterization ("this is my happy face!"). Seagal himself actually seems to be putting real effort into his performance, showing more fire in his delivery than he had in awhile... and never again after this... although his supporting cast arguably upstages him. DMX is surprisingly good and Michael Jai White steals the show whenever he's on screen. "Exit Wounds" has pretty impressive production values, so there are some cool set pieces and fight scenes. The director had previously worked on "Romeo Must Die" and he uses a lot of the same tactics (Wire works, slow motion), but it's surreal seeing someone as big as Steven Seagal defying gravity in ways that only look convincing when someone sleeker like Jet Li does it. This isn't a masterpiece, or even an exceptional example of the genre. The story is predictable and there are some cringe inducing one-liners that have aged poorly, but it's one of the more interesting Steven Seagal flicks -- especially if you're like me and have grown used to the monotony of his films.

3/4 

I've always been a huge Jackie Chan fan, but I was at my most enthusiastic during the late 1990's, where seemingly a month couldn't go by without one of his old movies being imported to the United States. I was prowling my local video store when in the "NEW RELEASES" section, I saw a wall dedicated to a movie with Jackie's face plastered all over it -- headlined with "Jackie Chan is... *The Prisoner (2000)*". I rented it and remember enjoying it enough, although I was disappointed and confused at how limited his presence was, considering how much his image was used in the promotional materials. When I returned my copy, I was eager for more Jackie Chan goodness, so I scoured the international section of the video store (where most martial arts movies were) and found one called "*Island of Fire (1990)*". I had never heard of this title, so rented it AND... realized it was the exact same movie... "Island of Fire" was the Hong Kong version, complete with subtitles and using its original title, presumably released before Jackie became a household name. "The Prisoner 2000" was the more formally distributed version, dubbed in English. I was not amused. This was during the same time period though where "Armor of God 2: Operation Condor" was released as just "Operation Condor", while "Armor of God" was packaged as "Operation Condor 2: Armor of God", so... it was a very confusing time. 

The behind-the-scenes story of this films making is much more interesting than the movie itself, which is pretty mediocre. Once Jackie Chan grew famous in Hong Kong, he wanted out of his contract with Lo Wei, who was a nightmare to work with and had absolutely no idea how Jackie Chan should be utilized. Lo Wei had connections with the Triads (Chinese mafia) and used them to threaten Jackie into making movies for Lo Wei. Jackie appealed to Jimmy Wang Yu ("The One-Armed Swordsman"), who had his own Triad connections and managed to come to a deal with Lo Wei. He would eventually call in some favors and Jackie appeared in "Fantasy Mission Force" and this, albeit only in supporting roles. "The Prisoner 2000" is more of a prison thriller than it is a martial arts movie, although Jackie Chan engages in a few good fight scenes and Sammo Hung occasionally shows off his kung fu. The film is tonally very inconsistent, often being depressingly grim and yet often engaging in slapstick humor. There are some good scenes though and the episodic narrative sometimes works in the films favor, other times stifling its potential. Sammo Hung and Jimmy Wang Yu have the best characters, with Jackie's being relatively standard outside of providing the best action sequences. I honestly thought Andy Lau's character was the most compelling aspect of Jackie's entire storyline, but his fight with Jackie was better than expected. Tony Leung is technically the main character, but he doesn't stand out as much amongst this cast... and quite frankly, the movie itself wouldn't stand out at all without its cast. They elevate the movie, so I enjoyed myself in spite of its flaws... although I'm sure the nostalgia of my rental experience helped. Why is this movie called "Island of Fire" anyway? Was the prison on an island? Am I remembering the American title incorrectly? When I looked it up on wikipedia, it's called "The Prisoner", but I swear it was originally released as "The Prisoner 2000". 

2.5/4   

*Five Elements Ninjas (1982)* was directed by Chang Cheh... because seemingly every kung fu flick set during this time period was directed by Chang Cheh... and I mistakenly thought this to be one of those "Venom Mob" movies. While on its surface level, "Five Elements Ninjas" seems like one of those "chop socky" martial arts flicks that you make fun of for the bad dubbing, it's actually highly regarded by kung fu enthusiasts -- including myself. I initially snickered at the silly ninja gimmicks, which includes stealthy assassins dressed in the most attention grabbing uniforms imaginable, but the choreography incorporates them in surprisingly inventive ways. Did I sometimes laugh at ninjas dressed as trees? Absolutely, but that didn't make such scenes any less awesome. This brand of kung fu was already regarded as somewhat outdated, as Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung were redefining choreography, but the action here was fast paced, bloody and showcased impressive athleticism. Much like "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin", the 2nd act is seemingly devoured by the first act, so the finale asks us to care about too many characters we've been barely introduced to. There is also a strange love story that misses the mark, but "Five Elements Ninjas" is the type of movie where you'll forget about the flaws over time. All you'll likely remember is how flashy it is, and how it's somehow equally bad-ass and stupid seeing ninja dressed entirely in gold.

3.5/4 

*Immortal Demon Slayer (2017)* is also known as "Wukong"... and "The Tales of Wukong"... and "The Legend of Wu Kong"... and sometimes this movie will find itself on multiple streaming services at the same time under these different titles, much to the conflusion of MartialHorrors everywhere. It's almost making me nostalgia, as it's reminding me of my childhood when I would rent "The Chinese Connection" thinking it was a new Bruce Lee movie, only to realize that it was an alternate title for "Fists of Fury"... and then I'd rent "Fists of Fury", only to get "The Big Boss"... and that isn't even getting into the aforementioned "The Prisoner" debacle. Anyway -- I'm a sucker for these "Journey to the West" adaptations, even if most of them are not faithful to the source material and this takes so many liberties that it's less an adaptation and more of a... it drew some inspiration from "Journey to the West"? This isn't one of the more highly regarded tales of Sun Wukong, but I personally liked it. I had a difficult time making a connection to the characters and the special effects are just OK, but I grew invested around the half way point, when the characters are thrown in an entirely new story. The action scenes were more compelling once scaled back, but become crazier than ever for the finale, which I thought worked greatly in its favor. The drama even threatened a few tears from me. I found myself growing emotionally attached to pretty much everyone and loved seeing their character development. Eddie Peng made for a fun Sun Wukong and looked good in the makeup. 

3/4 

*Robin Hood (2018)* is not a martial arts film, but it is somewhat choreographed like one, albeit stylized more like a comic book movie. This was a poorly reviewed, financial disaster, but is it that bad? Eh, not really. They do a lot of interesting archery related set pieces, that showcase decent choreography and stuntwork. The cast look like they're enjoying themselves, although Jamie Foxx doesn't maintain his accent. Even though I've grown tired of seeing Ben Mendelsohn play these generically sleazy roles ("Rogue One", "Ready Player One"), he steals the show here. He's loathable, but sometimes pitiful; other times terrifying. While I was sometimes entertained, the problem is just that the story isn't interesting. It draws way too much inspiration from other films, such as "Batman Begins" and the script doesn't always make sense. We're sometimes expected to cheer the heroes for their bad decisions and Jamie Foxx is seemingly the only black guy in this city, yet has no problem publically showing his face alongside both Robin and his mysterious alter ego, "the hood". No one makes the connection? Oh well, at least "Robin Hood" is better than that recent "King Arthur" disaster.

2/4 

If *Road House (1989)* was produced 10 years earlier, it would've starred Chuck Norris as the karate wielding bouncer (cooler, technically) who's hired to clean up a nasty bar in a small town -- which of course is run by a corrupt businessman. But instead Patrick Swayze, who's surprisingly convincing as a martial artist. This has developed a cult following over the years, but I've never gotten around to seeing it until now and I completely get its appeal. "Road House" boasts a great cast, from Swayze to Sam Elliot to Ben Gazzara and they're all given plenty of moments to shine. The movie doesn't shy away from violence or sex, perfectly matching the sleazy setting. It's the positive embodiment of a B-action film.

3/4


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## dr_shadow (Oct 21, 2019)

You still haven't seen Shadow (2018), have you?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2019)

mr_shadow said:


> You still haven't seen Shadow (2018), have you?



Sorry. It's been on my to do list for awhile... along with like 400 other movies. lol.

Edit --
My DVD queue: 175 movies
My Streaming queue: 252 movies

This doesn't include my franchise binges.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 13, 2019)

@mr_shadow this one's dedicated to you. It's a kung fu intrigue themed post, it seems. 

*Shadow (2018)* is Zhang Yimou's latest wuxia epic and it provoked an... interesting... reaction out of me. I was initially in awe of its bleak, almost monochromatic visual style, layered characters and complex storyline, but the movie was so successful in its ventures that it went full circle and kind of lost me. I started to find it difficult who I was supposed to root for, as the characters were starting to do unsympathetic things and while I loved all of the scheming, twists and turns, I eventually grew exhausted with trying to keep up. I even grew numb to the visuals, which were as grey as the characterizations. Yet somehow... by the end, I decided I  f@cking loved "Shadow". While I'm personally tired of movies with washed out, muted color palettes, the movie showcases a lot of stunning imagery that arguably pops out more because of the black, white and grey coloring. There's some stuff I don't think I've ever seen before. The characters might not always be likable, but they are interesting and the twists sometimes caught me off guard. So what was ever the problem? "Shadow" is playing by its own rules and is trying to do something different, especially when placed against Zhang Yimou's previous efforts. I struggled to adapt, so my viewing experience was just as frustrating as it was rewarding. I can't say it's for everyone. It might leave you feeling cold, empty and detached. But when all was said and done, I felt nothing but enthusiasm for "Shadow". I love movies that strive for a different kind of viewing experience. 

3.5/4 

*Killer Clans (1976)* combines the swordplay of a wuxia with the intrigue of "Game of Thrones", surrounding clans and an assortment of shady characters that scheme, seduce and betray each-other. You can tell that "Killer Clans" had much more production value to work with than most of its kind and Chor Yuen was a good enough director to provide a sense of elegance and sophistication that was rarely seen in Hong Kong at the time. There are a lot of characters to memorize and so many twists, turns and then the turns start twisting and everything becomes so complicated that I'm pretty sure the narrative went from smart to stupid... to smart again and now I think I'm the one who's stupid. There's something eerily endearing about all of these characters, even though none of them are what I'd call "heroic", but I loved watching them scheme. This isn't really an action oriented movie, but they do have a lot of short bursts of combat, with everyone seemingly having their own gimmick or style. There were a lot of cool moments within the fights, making the movie seem more action packed than it really is. Not every storythread works, possibly because this is an adaptation of an epic novel and there's so much information that has to be compressed. Yet it all moves so quickly that at least I was never bored. The movie was so successful that Chor Yuen would make a handful of similar films that would blend wuxia with intrigue. 

3.5/4     
*
Clan of Amazons (1978)* is another Chor Yuen movie, combining wuxia with a... MURDER MYSTERY!? Okay, technically this isn't true, as the masked villain is blinding people instead of killing them, but it's definitely structured like a mystery. Lu Xiaofeng (Tony Liu) is sort of like the wuxia equivalent of Sherlock Holmes and he's actually the protagonist of a series of books, with "Clan of Amazons" being his first film adaptation. I watched the subtitled, original language version and this is one of the rare moments I found myself yearning for a dub, as there is so much information that my eyes started to grow blurry from all the reading. The movie is... good... Once again, I suspect that the filmmakers struggled with compressing everything from the novel into the story, so some of the tangents come off as underdeveloped or random. There are far too many names and faces to memorize, with a lot of them feeling kind of superfluous, although their presence would make sense to fans of the source material. "Clan of Amazons" sometimes got a little too contrived or ridiculous, but once again I was never bored. This is more action packed than "Killer Clans", boasting top notch choreography that combines combat with mind games. The finale, which takes place upon a burning boat, is thrilling. I spent the entire viewing experience smugly knowing who the "killer" was... only to be wrong, so my ego took quite the beating. Tony Liu would reprise the role in "Duel of the Century (1981)" (also directed by Chor Yuen), which would later be remade into "The Duel (2000)".

3/4 

*Bleeding Steel (2017)* is Jackie Chan's first foray into science fiction... and no, "The Tuxedo" doesn't count as the sci-fi elements only exist to serve as a gimmick for the choreography... although to be fair, "Bleeding Steel" wasn't the science fiction movie it marketed itself to be either. This was bizarre, as sometimes it looks like this takes place in a futuristic setting, with high tech weaponry and uniforms and scientific advancements in multiple fields... and then at other times, it just looks like it takes place in modern day Australia. Maybe the movie is just telling us that China is the future and everyone else sucks? "Bleeding Steel" does occasionally stumble in some racist territory, with some hilariously awkward caricatures, so maybe that was supposed to be the implication. But more than likely, the movie was just confused. The tone shifts from bleak... gritty... violent... depressing to... slapstick? It's f@cking jarring, but kind of amazing watching this film stumble into seemingly another film from another genre. Sometimes the humor works. Sometimes the action is cool. But the plot is so messy and sloppy and somehow they make it much more confusing within the last two minutes of the film. I can't say "Bleeding Steel" is a good movie... at all... but it's just too baffling to be dull. 

2/4   

*Brothers Five (1970)* was directed by Lo Wei, who would later become famous for his collaborations with Bruce Lee ("Fists of Fury", "The Big Boss")... and then would later on become infamous for his collaborations with Jackie Chan ("New Fists of Fury", "To Kill with Intrigue"). "Brothers Five" is another wuxia and its most fascinating feature is its use of weaponry, as everyone seemingly has their own specially designed weapon -- even minor villains. I was intrigued to see what crazy instrument of death the movie would drop on me, but was also impressed when said instruments of death were incorporated into the choreography. The pacing and flow of the action isn't any different than any other swordplay wuxia from the time, yet the unique weaponry elevates the fight scenes because the choreographer stages the action around them. Even though the title is named after the five heroic brothers, it's their female companion Pei-Pei Cheng ("Come Drink with Me") who steals the show. She's the most charismatic and cool amongst them. She teaches them a finishing move that requires all five of them working in unison, which somehow looks as stupid as it does awesome. "Brothers Five" has pretty good production value and direction, but it is narrative flawed. It's somewhat episodic, as Pei-Pei Cheng's character recruits one brother at a time, each having their own little story. This becomes kind of redundant as they all make the same foolhardy mistakes. It feels like there's no second act, as an hour is spent on getting these brothers together. Still a pretty solid example of the genre though. 

3/4 

*Ninja in the Dragon's Den (1982) *is one of my new favorite martial arts flicks, even though I was expecting it to either be mediocre or craptastic. HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS!? This is yet another one of those "China Vs Japan" set-ups, where a ninja (Hiroyuki Sanada) collides with the heroic local kung fu user (Conan Lee), except this is one of the few Hong Kong productions that doesn't really treat the Japanese characters as any less sympathetic than the Chinese characters. If you watch "Ninja in the Dragon's Den", I strongly recommend the dubbed version, as you get a charmingly cheesy soundtrack and some genuinely funny dialogue. Despite this, the story takes itself rather seriously and the choreography is phenomenal. There is seemingly everything you can ever ask for -- lots of different weapons being used, hand-to-hand combat, extreme athleticism, dangerous looking stuntwork, an excellent use of the environments and they incorporate the ninjutsu gimmicks snugly in with the kung fu. The story builds to a tragic and dramatic climax shortly before the third act... and then suddenly embraces slapstick comedy. It gets... stupid awesome! They introduce these kung fu wizards who use bowling balls as weapons and it's f@cking glorious. I'd normally hate the sudden shift in tone, but I was laughing my ass off and the fight scenes were still incredible. "Ninja in the Dragon's Den" was a great time. 

4/4


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## dr_shadow (Nov 13, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> @mr_shadow this one's dedicated to you. It's a kung fu intrigue themed post, it seems.
> 
> *Shadow (2018)* is Zhang Yimou's latest wuxia epic and it provoked an... interesting... reaction out of me. I was initially in awe of its bleak, almost monochromatic visual style, layered characters and complex storyline, but the movie was so successful in its ventures that it went full circle and kind of lost me. I started to find it difficult who I was supposed to root for, as the characters were starting to do unsympathetic things and while I loved all of the scheming, twists and turns, I eventually grew exhausted with trying to keep up. I even grew numb to the visuals, which were as grey as the characterizations. Yet somehow... by the end, I decided I  f@cking loved "Shadow". While I'm personally tired of movies with washed out, muted color palettes, the movie showcases a lot of stunning imagery that arguably pops out more because of the black, white and grey coloring. There's some stuff I don't think I've ever seen before. The characters might not always be likable, but they are interesting and the twists sometimes caught me off guard. So what was ever the problem? "Shadow" is playing by its own rules and is trying to do something different, especially when placed against Zhang Yimou's previous efforts. I struggled to adapt, so my viewing experience was just as frustrating as it was rewarding. I can't say it's for everyone. It might leave you feeling cold, empty and detached. But when all was said and done, I felt nothing but enthusiasm for "Shadow". I love movies that strive for a different kind of viewing experience.
> 
> 3.5/4



Finally! 

How did you think it compared to Zhang's "wuxia trilogy" from a decade ago, viz. Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Curse of the Golden Flower (2006)?

[Zhang technically also directed The Great Wall (2016), but unlike his other four wuxia films he didn't write the screenplay for that one, so I feel like it was work-for-hire and don't consider it a canon part of the "Zhang Yimou Wuxia Universe"]

Also, what did you think of Deng Chao's performance as both the general and his "shadow"?


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## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2019)

mr_shadow said:


> Finally!
> 
> How did you think it compared to Zhang's "wuxia trilogy" from a decade ago, viz. Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Curse of the Golden Flower (2006)?
> 
> ...



Deng Chao was great. I preferred his performance as the General. 

I;ve never been a fan of "House of Flying daggers". I think "Curse of the Golden Flowers" is his best. I'd say I prefer "Hero", but it's close and they're so different. Hero" is more about the action. "shadow" is more about intrigue.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2019)

*Master Z: Ip Man Legacy (2018) *is a spin-off of "Ip Man 3", focusing on Ip's rival Tin-chi (Jin Zhang) and thank God the movie opens with clips reminding me who Tin-chi was, as I had totally forgotten about his character and conflict with Ip Man. I liked "Ip Man 3", but it's not very memorable in hindsight and all I can really recall about it is Mike Tyson, so did Tin-chi really need his own spin-off? Should "Ip Man" have its own shared universe? The answer is probably no, as "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy" bombed at the box office and while they're going ahead with a sequel, it will suffer budget cuts as a result. It's a shame too, as the production values are a big part of why "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy" works, in spite of its not really needing to exist in the first place. I loved the 1950's (?) Hong Kong setting, especially when showing off the night life district, which utilizes a lot of neon signs and flashy lighting. The movie has this great glossy aesthetic, different than what "Ip Man" offered, while feeling like it's part of that same world. I've heard a lot of complaints that there isn't enough kung fu or that Jin Zhang lacks charisma, but I disagree. I thought "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy" was action packed and the choreography was thrilling, showcasing a lot of fast, stylish maneuvers and relying a lot on the fighters surroundings -- something I've grown to favor in fight scenes. Even though I could barely recall the character from "Ip Man 3", I attribute that to the movie itself, as I thought Zhang's Tin-chi was a compelling lead. He's cool and low key, but the entire cast is given compelling characters... and even better, said cast is comprised of compelling actors and actresses such as Michelle Yeoh, Liu Yan, Dave Bautista and even Tony Jaa. Their fight scenes were all a lot of fun, with both Yeoh and Bautista's contributions to the action vastly exceeding my expectations. Sometimes the set pieces are a little absurd, like when Jin Zhang is hopping from sign to sign and somehow the random goons chasing him are able to do the same, yet said set pieces are still pretty f@cking cool.

Unfortunately, the difference between "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy" and the "Ip Man" movies is that they had pretty solid storylines, whereas this has a very flimsy plot. There might be a lot of interesting characters, but the narrative often struggles with giving them relevant things to do, so seemingly important characters will vanish for large chunks of time... or they'll hijack the storyline out of nowhere... The moment we see Bautista, we know he'll turn out to be a villain because why else would you cast him? Yet until the last act, he just is... sometimes there, other times I forgot he was even in the damn movie. Tin-chi's son is a pivotal part of the story early on and the entire conflict is built around Tin-chi's relationship with him, but he seemingly is dropped from the story around the half way point. But the worst part of it? "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy" seems to be continuing this idea of building a shared universe, introducing characters who take up more screen-time than they should, yet probably exist for the sake of further spin-offs -- which probably won't happen following the poor box office performance. I love Tony Jaa and he gets some pretty cool fights with Jin Zhang, but why was his character here? Outside of maybe setting up a re-occurring rival for subsequent films? The narrative is messy this way, but I only really hold that against "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy" because this is a franchise that isn't just about the martial arts. They do have plots, which is a large part of why the fanbase extends beyond kung fu enthusiasts. Yet I'd still recommend "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy", as it excels in providing awesome fight sequences, stylish direction and interesting characters, even if the story doesn't do them justice.

3/4  

*The Dagger of Kamui (1985)* is an anime from an era where the medium thrived in providing dark, provocative material, even if this seems rather tame to some of the more prolific examples of this time period. There is a lot of stuff to love about this, such as the atmospheric art direction and the inventive -- at least at the time -- interpretation of ninjutsu. "The Dagger of Kamui" was very influential, although I'd argue this works against the movie, as other anime and manga have taken its ideas and themes far enough that this doesn't stand out as much. You can tell when corners were being cut in the animation and sometimes they cover it up nicely, other times it looks really awkward and hokey. I struggled getting invested in the action, because it seemed quite cheaply made at first, but the filmmakers eventually started finding fun ways of working around it (often using said art direction). The music sometimes works, other times seems tonally out of place. The characters are... well, they're interesting to look at thanks to some eye popping designs... but the characterizations are standard for anime. The pacing for "Dagger of Kamui" SUCKS and I shit you not, I was sure we had reached the climax when I checked the time and realized we hadn't reached the half way point. Some critics have derided those who complain about this for not "appreciating the atmosphere" or some shit like that, but it's not that this movie is slow... In fact, I'd argue that it technically moves too fast... it's just that the narrative is episodic and it 'climaxes' so often that I was burned out LONG before it ended. There is also a revolving cast of characters, who usually die just as we're beginning to care about them, so it's hard to get invested. The second half explores some batshit insane territory, where the protagonist ninja goes to America and encounters Japanese interpretations of American culture. It's amusingly awkward at best, accidentally offensive at worst, but I'll give some credit where credit is due... the story might be a confusing mess, but I never knew what to expect from it. When Jiro (voiced by Hiroyuki Sanada) learns the truth about his Father or is being framed for the murder of his Mother, you couldn't convince me that he would eventually pal around with Mark Twain or... own a slave..."The Dagger of Kamui" is f@cking weird, fascinating in its own way, but I often grew sleepy and impatient. It should be noted that I'm not a die hard anime mark, so my reaction isn't going to be the same as someone who explores with medium consistently.

2/4

I was asked to review *Mar's Villa (1977)* a long time ago, back when I was formally reviewing stuff, but I never got around to it. The funny thing is it turned out that I had owned the movie all along, as part of a double feature (with "Ninja Untouchables"). I think I tried to watch it once, but the crappy transfer scared me away, but now that I've been cleaning out my collection, I decided to get my moneys worth and check it out -- if only to satisfy the one person who asked this of me, who probably has long forgotten about this thread and will never see my "review". "Mar's Villa" stars John Liu, famed for his kicking skills, although he never reached the same heights as a lot of his contemporaries, even though he was quite prolific for the time. I can't say for certainty why this was, but I'd argue it might be because his movies were usually really low budgeted in comparison to a lot of his "rivals", or because he doesn't have a very distinct look. This stands out a lot here when he's placed against Tung Wei, who's dashingly handsome and oozes of sex appeal... even when he's being the slimy villain, so John Liu seems a little bland in comparison. Nevertheless, his flexibility is amazing and his kicking style provides a nice contrast to the more traditional kung fu everyone else showcases. The choreography is pretty good and the director adds some cool flourishes that enhances the action, such as a great use of slow motion. The action is plentiful, but the narrative does stall around the half way point. On paper, it's actually a very creative twist on the usual formula, but I felt like the scenes were becoming very repetitive and the pacing slows down so much due to a lack of action that I started to grow a little annoyed. Kung fu flicks don't have to be action packed, but when the first 45 minutes are action packed and then there is a twenty five minute dry spell, it's very noticeable as the movie has conditioned us to expect non stop action. The finale also resolves everything in an unsatisfying way, with an important death scene being glanced over, but it also redeems itself with the best fight scene "Mar's Villa" has to offer. So kung fu fans should find this to be a satisfying experience.

3/4    

I watched *Shaolin Plot (1977)* because the description focused on Sammo Hung's presence, boasting that this was one of his few villainous turns and indeed, "Shaolin Plot" does a great job at building up his threatening presence, as he uses... drum symbols... to decapitate people. So imagine my surprise when he meets his match around the 30 minute point and promptly vanishes from the story until around the finale, where's he's more-or-less upstaged by everybody. The villain is really the dastardly Prince (Chan Sing), while Sammo Hung's mysterious Tibetan assassin becomes an afterthought. You just have to love deceptive marketing, but at least "Shaolin Plot" is still pretty damn good, boasting a lot of awesome fight scenes. Sammo did serve as the action director and the choreography definitely showcases a lot of the same style he would popularize. After you've seen enough of his films, you'll start to recognize a lot of his favored tricks and rhythm, they've always been exciting to behold and arguably hold up stronger than most kung fu flicks of the time period. Unfortunately, the story is very problematic because there are two different "plots". One involves James Tien training to avenge his Father. The other involves the evil Prince conspiring against the Shaolin Temple. I found the second to be a lot more compelling, so poor James Tien's storyline seems boring in comparison. He's actually a very talented actor and martial artist, yet he's seemingly upstaged by everyone and everything in every movie I've ever seen him in. This isn't usually his fault either, as he either gets saddled with bland characters in dull storylines, or is working with the genres most iconic stars. "Shaolin Plot" is arguably one of the most egregious examples, but unlike "Master Z: Ip Man Legacy", this one isn't really trying to tell a good story so you can just shrug it off and just enjoy the fight scenes. Casanova Wong and Yuen Biao appear in supporting/small roles.

3/4

*The Young Master (1980)* is a really good Jackie Chan movie that often seems overlooked, although I'm not entirely sure why as this is an incredible example of his comedic style of choreography. While I'm definitely a fan of Jackie, sometimes his comedy can be annoying, but I always found myself amused with the broad antics on display here. The humor blends with the choreography seamlessly, as if the movements and techniques were designed around the gags. While many have argued that "Wheels on Meals" showcases Jackie's best fight, I'd argue that his climactic showdown in "The Young Master" is a strong contender. The fight scene has everything, from kicks to grappling, acrobatics to brutality. It somehow manages to be intense yet funny at once. The choreography in general is very inventive, often using props and moves you don't see often to give the fights their own flavor, but there is a lot of storytelling involved in the action too. This is all good, because the story itself is pretty weak. Jackie usually played variations of the same character during this time period, but at least he usually underwent a character arc -- which is noticeably lacking here. I didn't mind too much though, as the plot clearly only existed to be a platform for the comedy and martial arts action. "The Young Master" is a fast paced, stunning example of its kind and kung fu enthusiasts should definitely check it out.

3.5/4

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## MartialHorror (Dec 3, 2019)

I've been on a huge Chor Yuen ("Killer Clans", "Duel of the Century") binge, so the vast majority of this line-up of mini-reviews will cover his works, especially the ones that blend wuxia action with intrigue, murder mysteries and even horror.

*The Black Lizard (1981)* is about your typical wuxia hero investigating the mystery of the 'black lizard' legend, which might be the cause of strange happenings plaguing the area. Chor Yuen revels in convoluted plots, but I thought this was pretty easy to follow, even though it has the normal amount of twists, turns and double twists found in so many of these stories. There are some eye brow raising moments, but I actually thought the mystery was quite inspired, with a few imaginative ideas that could only ever work in a wuxia flick. The presentation is reminiscent of a horror flick, with lots of moody visuals and an emphasis on spooky atmosphere. Yet the sword fights are still common and are quite good, mixed in with supernatural techniques that once again, are prevalent in Chor Yuen's works. The only real downside is that it's occasionally a little too campy for its own good, with some bad -- albeit shocking -- lizard effects and an ending that straight up made me laugh. Yet I live for these genre mashups and I thought "The Black Lizard" blended mystery, sword fighting and spookiness in a satisfactory way.   

3.5/4

*Web of Death (1976)* stands out amongst Chor Yuen's works by being... uncharacteristically hokey... If "The Black Lizard" was a respectable movie that occasionally dabbled in schlock, "Web of Death" is schlock that occasionally dabbles in respectability. There are a few genuinely impressive sets that are awash in surreal colors and the fight scenes are nicely staged. Yet you're not going to remember any of them, because they're all upstaged by the amazing spider effects. There's going to be some sort of tournament involving all of the martial arts clans, but the spider clan has their own secret weapon... a Tarantula that shoots out laser webs! If that sounds amazing to you, then just imagine how much better it is when you see all of the bad effects surrounding this beast. But do you know what the best part of it is? The acting. The cast is all doing their absolute best to sell us on this absurd concept. They look genuinely afraid when encountering the spider, so you get the amazing visual of the worlds greatest martial artists nervously surrounding this adorable looking tarantula; weapons shakily raised; sweat falling from their brows. It's hilarious seeing these classic stoic kung fu archetypes showing so much fear, especially as the actors and actresses are taking something so stupid so seriously. But do you know what? That kind of stuff kept me consistently entertained. I had a blast with "Web of Death", which arguably is more memorable than a lot of Chor Yuen's better works. 

3/4 

*The Proud Twins (1979)* is one of Chor Yuen's more comedic films, sometimes even resembling a parody of his own works. The story somehow manages to be even more convoluted than usual, despite not really being a mystery, yet I think that was supposed to be the joke. There is one sequence when characters start betraying each-other in quick succession, only to reveal that they had already forged alliances with the people that they've seemingly betrayed in order to deceive someone else, but then that turns out to be a trick too, as they had also been conspiring with another person... whom they'll probably be betrayed by. I thought it was pretty amusing. Even the story is often quite messy and I spent a lot of it not being entirely sure who some people were, or who they were representing, the pacing is breezy enough that the plotting never really held "The Proud Twins" back. The cast is pretty interesting, with Alexander Fu Sheng's protagonist being a comedic goldmine. He's mischievous without being annoying and his dialogue, reactions, etc. all kept me laughing. I've always heard that Fu Sheng could've rivaled Jackie Chan as Hong Kong's biggest star if he did not tragically perish in an automobile accident during the early 1980's, but I never really saw that appeal until now. "The Proud Twins" was an excellent showcasing of his comedic timing and the action scenes -- which blend swordplay and hand-to-hand combat -- are also some of the best to be found in a Chor Yuen movie. Good stuff!

3/4 

*Heroes Shed No Tears (1981)* is possibly Chor Yuen's most sophisticated work, sporting some of the best cinematography, editing, scoring and acting within the entire genre. Once again, the plot is a web that's designed to be difficult to untangle, surrounding five different kung fu masters who begin to conspire against each-other. Alliances and betrayals ensue, but even though I sometimes struggled to keep up, the characters are really interesting and the cast is very good. I loved the raw emotion on display, which somehow felt more real than the usual wuxia drama -- even if the love story is still a little far fetched. Alexander Fu Sheng is technically the star, but I think I prefer him in more comedic roles, as his dramatic face was a little too mopey for my tastes. The fight scenes are solid and plentiful, although the choreography is admittedly upstaged by the drama, in my opinion. "Heroes Shed No Tears" sometimes gave me the sniffles and... and... AND IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! BWAAAAAAAAA -- this is the sound of me crying, by the way.

3.5/4 

That resolves this current wave of Chor Yuen stories, so the remainder of the reviews shall be whatever else I've seen in the past few weeks.

*Look Out, Officer! (1990)* is a Stephen Chow comedy and even though it's not really a martial arts flick, the climax somehow manages to fit in sword fighting and a variety of special effects -- some being OK, others standing out as dated. The humor is too broad and juvenile for my tastes, with cheap gags surrounding painful prostate exams or sexual harassment. Yet I still laughed enough to consider this worth watching, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into. Chow would recycle one of the gags for "Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons", which I think improves upon it for being less raunchy, but it's still pretty amusing here too. 

2.5/4   

*The VelociPastor (2018)* is everything I want out of these super low budgeted, deliberately cheesy, schlock-fests, even though this is obviously significantly cheaper than most of its contemporaries. I've grown so weary of these kinds of films, because most of them try to get by on their (admittedly fun) titles alone, with the actual movies being strangely formulaic and dull. You can tell that the filmmakers involved with "The VelociPastor" are genuinely trying to deliver a fun experience and probably even have a certain amount of talent at their disposal. The acting is obviously terrible, but there's a sense of comedic timing to the stilted delivery of the dialogue, even though the cast is technically 'playing it straight'. I was always laughing my ass off at their ridiculous reactions or bizarre lines. The special effects are supposed to be awful, but it's hard not to smile when the final transformation resembles a f@cking Halloween costume -- that resembles a T-Rex more than it does a raptor. Yet there are a lot of genuinely funny jokes, with one exchange going something like this --

(the titular Pastor is angsting over his curse, confiding to a fellow Priest)
"Father, what if I told you that I was different?"
"You're not that different. There are plenty of men like that in the Church". 

Once again, I think it's so much funnier how the actors deliver these lines with the straightest of expressions, yet it still feels like a joke. The concept of a Priest transforming into a dinosaur is absurdly comical enough, but the filmmakers take it even farther by revealing that there is a sect of the Catholic Church who employs f@cking ninjas -- with thick Australian accents! The fight scenes are about as badly choreographed as you would expect, although the climax has everyone throwing themselves around with so much gusto, embracing the "Ninjas Vs Raptor" gimmick to its fullest, that it might as well be a little... just a little... good? Nah, it's still bad, but props to everyone for trying and keeping things amusing. The gore effects, which are quite cheesy, are more reminiscent of Troma than this new wave of Asylum garbage, so they complimented everything nicely. "The VelociPastor" is a lot of fun, but I will admit that the second half started to lose some of its momentum. It fires back with a crazy finale, but most of its best material comes from the first half. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 19, 2019)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - "" series review.

"Universal Soldier" was dismissed by critics as 'just another Jean-Claude Van Damme movie' and underperformed at the box office. This was unusual, because being 'just another Jean-Claude Van Damme' movie was usually very profitable, as Van Damme was one of the most popular action stars during this time period. His movies were never critical darlings, as they prioritized violence over plot, but people flocked to the theaters anyway and "Universal Soldier" was just as violent and action packed as the rest, yet it failed to lure in audiences.

Still -- this was not the start of his eventual box office decline, as his subsequent films were financially successful. So why did "Universal Soldier" stick out as his one misstep? More bizarrely, how did it become Jean-Claude Van Damme's 'fallback' franchise once his movies stopped making money? We discuss this and more for the 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' coverage of the "Universal Soldier" saga, which includes --

-- "Universal Soldier (1992)"

-- "Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms (1998)"

-- "Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998)"

-- "Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)"

-- "Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2010)"

-- "Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)"


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## MartialHorror (Dec 22, 2019)

CURRENTLY IN THEATERS...

I have seen *Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)* and... *GASP* IT'S NOT BAD! Well, except when it is. I'm actually a supporter of "The Last Jedi", but even I'll have to admit that it revealed a lack of overarching vision. Rian Johnson closed all of the storythreads, leaving very few hooks for episode 9. When Palpatine started showing up in the trailers, it seemed forced and the entire marketing campaign felt like damage control -- and that's what it obviously was.

Palpatine's return would've gone down a lot smoother if it was teased at the end of "The Last Jedi". Even though his introduction here is pretty cool on its own, relying on a lot of creepy atmosphere, the opening title crawl's attempt to re-introduce him was awkward. I can't imagine what it will be like watching this 10 years from now, when people will have forgotten about the marketing campaign and all the trailers. New viewers will just be watching these films in order and suddenly, Palpatine is there, as if he never "left" in the first place.

Nevertheless, once the narrative set sail, I spent the majority of the movie enjoying myself. I think the cast is really good, even if their character arcs are pretty faulty. I was glad to see the primary characters spending most of their screen-time together, allowing us to see them interact and built a repertoire. J.J Abrams is a good action director, so the battle scenes were usually fun and the art direction boasted some incredibly imagery. The music is great as always. The special effects were usually on point, but there were a few very "off" moments. There's one scene where it looks so much like Rey is standing in front of a green screen and was it just me, or did Leia's voice sound dubbed over for her very first line? Sometimes her dialogue seemed looped from other conversations, but when she first appears and talks, it sounds like someone else's voice. The marketing campaign deserves a spanking for promoting Luke so much, when he only appears for one single cameo. Lando isn't in it that much either. Leia's role is sizeable, although you can tell they were using body doubles and CGI for some scenes. Shockingly -- I found C3PO very funny, even though I've never really been a big fan of his antics before.

The movie does step on the toes of "The Last Jedi", sometimes even taking shots at it and true enough, this causes problems with the overarching narrative. Imagine if in "Return of the Jedi", it was revealed that Vader was not Luke's Father after all. They attempt to justify undoing some of the "twists", but it's very forced and reminds us that this trilogy wasn't very well planned in advance. Yet I was still enjoying myself... until the climax went down. There are parts of the climax that were cool and I liked a lot of the ideas, but it really feels like it was the casualty of re-shoots. Everything starts looking very digital and rigid, with some emotional pay-offs being incredibly unsatisfying. The Knights of Ren get all of this fanfare once they show up, but outside of a few menacing shots of them, they're even more pointless than Phasma. But even though I can't quite put my finger on why, the big showdown reminded me way too much of "Suicide Squad"'s broken climax. Everything felt disjointed and disconnected; as if none of the actors were even in the same room.

If "Rise of Skywalker" sucks, it's only because of the ending, which I guess is deserved as that's the final taste that will be left in audiences mouths. There were a few times I thought I would get angry, with one "tug of war" moment almost killing the movie where it stood, but I was fine with all of it throughout for the first two hours. It's hardly the worst Star Wars flick, even if it arguably makes this the worst trilogy? I think the prequels are inferior movies, but they gel better together as a whole. It has become a little too trendy to hate on Star Wars these days though, so I think everyone is overreacting. Far worse sins have been committed in the name of Star Wars. At least I was never bored, even if my bladder was losing patience near the end.

2.5/4

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## Vault (Dec 23, 2019)

Martial 5 pattern dragon claws when?


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2019)

Vault said:


> Martial 5 pattern dragon claws when?



Never heard of it. Any good?

Or... have I already asked that question?


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## Vault (Dec 23, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> Never heard of it. Any good?
> 
> Or... have I already asked that question?


You have. Last year I mentioned it 

I mean it took like 5 years of convincing for you to finally watch daggers 8. I shall be patient for this as well


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2019)

Vault said:


> You have. Last year I mentioned it
> 
> I mean it took like 5 years of convincing for you to finally watch daggers 8. I shall be patient for this as well



Well it's on prime so I added it to my 200+ movie queue.


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## Vault (Dec 23, 2019)

Nah i get the benefit of the doubt. Atleast make the rec top 50


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2019)

Vault said:


> Nah i get the benefit of the doubt. Atleast make the rec top 50



Very well. I shall position it as a quasi-priority.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 8, 2020)

MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2019 --

Before I begin my own personal list, I should warn you that I don't see as many movies in the theaters these days, so many acclaimed films have yet to find their way towards me. There are also certain movies available to stream that are on my 'to do' list, but because of my convoluted way of choosing what I watch, I haven't gotten the chance to check them out -- such as "Dolemite is my Name" and "The Irishman". I was going to see "1917", but instead continued my Christmas tradition of being sick... I need to seriously find a new way of celebrating the holidays.

As always, this is my own personal list, which is why I like to refer to it as "my favorite" and not "the best". The good news is that I didn't really see anything I hated this year, with even the ones that had me bracing for impact, -- such as "Dark Phoenix", being more underwhelming than bad.

9) It: Chapter 2 -- This disappointed a lot of people, but even though I agree that the narrative wasn't as sturdy as the first, the movie showcased one incredibly horror set piece after another, while making me laugh and sniffle at the same time. I think this might be the most underrated movie of the year.

8) Ready or Not -- The only reason this is lower on the list is because... I actually had forgotten about it... but when it popped back in my head, I remembered having a blast. This is one of those wickedly violent thrillers that keeps you laughing and cringing at the same time.

7) Joker -- A dark, slow burn psychological thriller, relying mostly on Joaquin Phoenix's chilling performance as the titular 'Joker'. I'm a big fan of 'comic book films', but I've grown too used to their formula, so it's refreshing when one tries something new. This movie somehow struck a nerve with the masses, making people uncomfortable to the point of stirring controversy.

6) Us -- This was another disappointment to some, as it's not quite as sturdy as "Get Out" and has a flawed ending, but I think I liked this a little bit more. The music, the eccentric performances and the balance of humor and terror gave the film its own distinct personality. Even some of its flaws somehow end up going full circle and end up becoming kind of endearing. I loved all of the characters too, making me more invested in their plight.

5) The Avengers: Endgame -- This is more of an "event" than it is a traditional movie, which is the case with most of the 'Avengers' flicks, but what an event! As a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I thought this was a very satisfying ending to such an epic saga. There were so many great interactions, boasting the charm, humor and spectacle one has come to expect out of an Avengers flick, but there is heart to be found here. The ending threatened to make me cry.

4) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- I'm a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino's style, from his quotable lines to his excessive art direction to his explosive violence... and even his controversial creative decisions... "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" is quintessential Tarantino, but it's arguably more refined as there's more character development than usual.

This is the trickier part of the list, as the final three all deserve #1 in their own ways.

3) The Lighthouse -- This MIGHT be the best movie of the year, at least among the ones in this list. It's very slow and artfully made, but immersed me in ways... I actually don't like being immersed. I felt like "The Lighthouse" was making me feel exactly what its characters were feeling. I often found myself shivering from the cold, even though the theater was warm. There were times when the music would pluck my nerves, putting me on edge. I sometimes felt the urge to yell along with the characters and left the theater feeling shaken. This was an entirely new experience for me and is probably better than #2 and #1 for it, but I'm afraid to revisit it for the same reasons it's so good. I don't know if I want to go through that again. Incredible movie though.

2) PARASITE -- I'm a huge fan of the director, whose entire filmography seems to be comprised of "best of the year" entries. This is an odd film that marketed itself off its greatness, because it doesn't really fit a single genre. It's sometimes a dark comedy, it's sometimes a nerve wracking thriller. I spent most of the screen-time not sure what was going to happen next. Beyond that -- great acting, direction, editing, writing, etc. I actually think this is better than #1 on this list, but not quite as good as #3, but I rated it higher because the writing is so layered that I feel like I'll notice something new after every watch. Unlike "The Lighthouse", I want to see this again to find such things.

1) Knives Out -- "PARASITE" and "The Lighthouse" might be superior works of cinema, but "Knives Out" has one major advantage over them. I really, REALLY, love these kinds of murder mysteries... and "Knives Out" is an exceptional example of its kind. It has everything I want out of them, from as an interesting cast of suspects, played by great actors who are given a lot of room to perform to their fullest to witty dialogue to shocking twists. I've really grown to appreciate Rian Johnson, who finds unexplored territory in familiar genres. The campy direction is a perfect fit for an Agatha Christie-styled murder mystery. This is just my favorite kind of movie, so "Knives Out" became my favorite movie of 2019.

MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF THE DECADE (2010-2019)

Before I begin, I should warn you that this will always be a flawed and incomplete list, as I went through so many films that I'm not going to remember everything I watched, especially as I seem to be gravitating towards films that don't register with mainstream American audiences. Furthermore -- some of these movies might not even be my #1 pick of the year. Everything here is something that redefined my tastes in some ways, or at the absolute least, is something I can pick up and watch at anytime. I usually don't pursue movies more than once, so that's a big deal for me. But some movies that I love need to be revisited again before they ever find their way on this list. Others I simply need to gestate on for awhile. Once again, this is my list of FAVORITES, not what I consider to be 'the best'.

6) It Follows (2014) - This movie freaked me out because it tapped into my fear of being followed. I used to work the night shift, but loved going on walks, forcing me to do so after the sun went down. Sometimes another night prowler would would be out, walking behind me at a distance and I'd wonder if I was about to get robbed. Sometimes I wondered if they thought I was going to rob them. "It Follows" did not help these feelings one bit. Some have complained that the "rules" are inconsistent, but I think that makes 'it' scarier. I've always assumed that the rules were self imposed, with the seemingly contradictory moments being 'its' way of telling us this.

5) What We Do in the Shadows (2014) - This movie wasn't just very funny, it was funny in unpredictable ways. A character would either have a reaction I wasn't quite expecting, or would drop a hilarious line so dryly that I'd almost miss the joke, only to stop the movie a few minutes later to get my laughing under control. Then I would rewind it as watch it again.

4) The Hateful Eight (2015) - I'm a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino and "The Hateful Eight" has all of his quirks, stylistic flourishes and polished techniques that one would expect from the movie. But this is also a "closed circle murder mystery", arguably my favorite kind of film... set during a blizzard, my favorite kind of settling... and it's a period piece, more specifically, a western. I love it when my favorite genres take place in other time periods. This movie just seems like it was made for me. Amusingly, "The Kingsman" got the #1 spot in my 2015 list and while I still love it, I've never really revisited it like I did with "The Hateful Eight".

3) Unthinkable (2010) - This received mixed reviews and was dumped straight to DVD, yet amusingly, it was the reception that made me appreciate the movie that much more. Michael Sheen plays a terrorist who has been detained by the Government, but claims he's planting three nuclear bombs that are set to go off. Carrie-Anne Moss is an FBI Agent investigating the case and Samuel Jackson plays an interrogator. The movie deals with torture and whether it should be used to extract information. Many commenters didn't like that the movie doesn't really answer the question of whether it's right or wrong, but that's why I loved it. It lets the audience decide, reinforced by its ambiguous ending. I love movies that make me think that way. "Gone, Baby, Gone" is another one that had be questioning what is right or wrong, but that was the last decade.

2) I Saw the Devil (2010) - An intense, exciting and nail biting thriller from South Korea about a serial killer who finds himself preyed on by a rogue special agent after killing his fiance. The action scenes are stylishly staged and choreographed. The suspense makes you uncomfortable and every confrontation is satisfying. Yet I think my favorite aspect of this is how bizarre and darkly humorous the story can be, such as how seemingly everyone in this city seems to be some sort of pervert or serial killer -- or their victims. There's also the possibility that the agent might becoming the monster he's fighting. Great stuff. This actually inspired my first script.

1) The Wailing (2016) - Another South Korean film, this actually scared me. The strange thing is... it starts off more comedic than scary, with the protagonist engaging in goofy shenanigans and having the funniest reactions to grisly or spooky stuff. Yet it turns out that the humor is meant to disarm you for how dark and terrifying the story is about to become. Yet what elevates it over most horror flicks -- even great ones like "Hereditary" or "The Conjuring" -- is that there's a lot of subtle nuances within the story you might not catch the first time. Disturbing implications, creative foreshadowing, every time I've watched the movie I've noticed something new or different. There's a lot of stuff up for debate surrounding the motivations of the characters. I could write essays on my own theories. Not everyone will 'get it'. My Dad certainly didn't. The movie runs much longer than horror usually does, being over 2 and a half hours long, but I was so enthralled I only noticed... before I actually started watching it... "The Wailing" isn't just my favorite movie of the decade, it's probably in my "Top 10 favorites of ALL TIME".

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## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2020)

@Vault 

I watched *5 Pattern Dragon Claws (1983)* about a month ago and I have to confess, I had to refresh my memory with how I rated this in the "RATE THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW" thread, as well as long up a plot description on IMDB.com. Eventually I was able to jog my memory, but for awhile, all I could remember was Dragon Lee. I'm not very familiar with his body of work, outside of his reputation for being one of the many Bruce Lee clones during the infamous 'Brucesploitation' wave. But he's actually really good here, having a distinct look, a fair amount of charisma, an impressive physique and slick kung fu abilities. I rated this a "B-" and the more I think about it, the more I remembered that the fight scenes were plentiful and well done, with the main villain (Hwang Jang-Lee) showing off some really impressive kicking skills. His first battle with Dragon Lee is the best in my opinion, because both seem evenly matched and I wasn't entirely sure who would come out on top, especially as I wasn't even sure if Dragon Lee was the real protagonist. It seemed to me that a character arc was being built around another character, who would develop into the hero, but his story is resolved... off-screen?! That was another thing I had forgotten. The fights might be worthwhile, but the story is somehow even sloppier than most kung fu flicks. I sometimes struggled keeping up with the bad writing and now I hear that Godfrey Ho directed this, which explains a lot... even though this is still a few cuts above most of his films. But if you can set all that aside and watch "5 Pattern Dragon Claws" exclusively for the action, then you should get plenty of enjoyment out of it. The climax has this funny visual effect that that alone made it worth watching. I'd rate the movie a little higher, except the transfer I watched was really bad, sometimes hampering the experience. 

2.5/4 

*Avengement (2019)* continues the collaboration between martial arts star Scott Adkins and director Jesse V. Johnson, following "Savage Dog", "Accident Man", "The Debt Collector" and "Triple Threat". "Avengement" isn't as refined as those, although I haven't seen "Savage Dog" (yet). If anything, it strives to be raw and visceral, sometimes being downright unpleasant for it. Even though this is technically a martial arts actioner, it's stylized more after a British gangster flick, while telling a 'prison survival' story. I found both the plot and the characters to be quite interesting, even if sometimes the flashback-reliant narrative grew exhausting. The fight scenes are incredibly brutal, but the violence is weaved seamlessly into the exceptional choreography, which also has a great use of props. Scott Adkins undergoes a terrifying physical transformation, as he gradually turns from a handsome, relatively nice guy to a hardened, battle scarred killing machine who's sometimes more menacing than the actual villains. Yet I have to admit that while I thought "Avengement" was good, I did grow weary of the excessive profanity and even of the nonstop violence. I'm obviously no prude, but I do think some filmmakers can overplay such hands and while it's effective for awhile, I will eventually grow numb to it. 

3/4 

I actually watched *The 36 Crazy Fists (1977)* many years ago, lured in by the poster/box art showing Jackie Chan ready to engage in some kung fu fighting, underneath the big caption which read -- "JACKIE CHAN in... THE 36 CRAZY FISTS"... This ended up being one of the seemingly many times I was scammed into watching something that whored out Jackie's image, even though he does not appear in the movie at all, although whatever anger I felt was washed away when I promptly forgot about the movie immediately after watching it. Well guess what happened AGAIN!? I saw Jackie's image -- possibly even the same one -- and was duped into watching this once more, although at least this time I figured it out relatively early. Even though Jackie Chan did not star in this, he was the action director and the choreography definitely reflects his style, although star Kuang Hsiung lacks Jackie's charisma. I didn't realize I had seen this before until the monks blackmail their asshole teacher into training the protagonist using a prostitute, because that character is easily the best part of the movie. The fight scenes seemingly dominate most of the screen-time and they're all stylishly choreographed, even showcasing some of Jackie's sense of humor. The plot sucks... as usual... and both the characters and the aesthetics are pretty bland. I often felt like the movie was making up its story as it went along, based on who was available on the set at the time. But I found myself not minding, because most of it was just an excuse to show off kung fu anyway, with seemingly no scenes passing by without a fight or setting up a fight. If you could forgive the deceitful marketing, "The 36 Crazy Fists" is pretty entertaining in that bargain bin kind of way that so many badly dubbed kung fu flicks are. 

I was surprised to learn that this was made before Jackie's rise to stardom, back when he was still looking for Lo Wei, as this feels like a rip-off of "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and "Drunken Master", complete with the old beggar who's really a kung fu bad-ass trope. I have to assume that Jackie's prospects seemed low after all of his box office failures, so he tried his hand at being the choreographer, using many of the ideas he probably figured he'd never be able to use himself on-screen. But of course, Jackie would subsequently do "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow", become the biggest star in Hong Kong and "The 36 Crazy Fists" would become a minor footnote in his career. 

2.5/4 

*Swift Shaolin Boxer (1978)* stars Angela Mao, Barry Chan and Lo Lieh, the latter of whom I'm becoming more and more convincing appeared in every single kung fu movie ever made, usually as the villain. The movie has a lot of action and decent choreography, along with some standout setpieces (bridge of swords; mystical kung fu children and more!), but I found myself strangely bored with it. The episodic narrative keeps the film from building any kind of momentum. You spent some time with one character, who's promptly killed off and then follow another character who meets a similar fate, all surrounding a flute wielding assassin. There's a lot of intrigue, even a bit of a murder mystery, but the characters and their developments often make little sense. There's a shocking twist that made me blurt out -- "What the f@ck?" -- because it just doesn't seem like they built it up properly. To be fair though, I was pretty detached throughout this viewing experience, even sometimes struggling to stay awake. Perhaps the superior -- yet somewhat similar -- films of Chor Yuen spoiled me. Or perhaps I was just tired that day and not in the mood for this. Or perhaps it's just not that great as a cohesive whole, even if once again, some parts are really cool.

2/4 

Cynthia Rothrock was a respected martial artist even before she got in the movie business, but even though she was a westerner, she quickly became a star in Hong Kong thanks to "Yes, Madame!" and "Shanghai Express", among others. She was usually a supporting actress though, relying more on her physical abilities than her acting capabilities, but she eventually transitioned to Hollywood and started headlining... a lot of bad, B-movies... Everyone seems to agree that the quality of her works plummeted once she moved to the west, with inferior choreography, low budgets, bad plotting and worst acting -- often from her, but she did development a cult following throughout the 1990's, probably because she was the only female martial artist in the west. *Sworn to Justice (1996)* is regarded as one of her better starring vehicles, but before I 'review it', I have a confession to make. I am pretty inexperienced with her body of work, only having seen some of her Hong Kong flicks (the ones I mentioned earlier) and a few of her more recent appearances ("Mercenaries"). Even though I've always known of her and many of her titles ("China O'Brien", "Tiger Claws", "Rage of Honor"), I don't know if I've seen any of the films that would define her career. I just didn't grow up with her the same way I grew up with other B-movie talents, such as Don 'the Dragon' Wilson, so I have no nostalgic attachments to her... nor can I really confirm that this is one of her better films. I thought "Sworn to Justice" was very mediocre, but it does have its own charm. It could've just been your typical revenge plot, but for some random reason, they make Cynthia Rothrock's character a psychic, which was cool. I also thought Rothrock herself was incredibly bad-ass. I loved how she'd weaponize her stilettos and she'd very convincing in her movements, often looking like she's really trying to hurt her opponents. The choreography isn't much, but I found myself not caring. Her acting isn't always great either, but she's pretty charismatic. I was also surprised how often she was willing to do nude scenes. This movie has a lot of sexuality to it, but it didn't seem particularly sleazy either, which is a rarity for a B-movie. 

But I can't say "Sworn to Justice" is good either. The movie has some serious tonal issues and it can't decide whether or not you're supposed to find it comedic or tragic. There are a lot of scenes where it desperately tries to wrangle tears out of you, which is where Rothrock's shortcomings become very noticeable. But then there will be this really goofy action scene, where I think Rothrock was trying to channel Jackie Chan, but it was pretty bad... Sometimes though, this faults also contribute to the films strange charm, so I found myself amused in ways I don't think I was supposed to feel amused... but at least I was neither bored or frustrated. Recommending this is tricky because unlike... let's say "5 Pattern Dragon Claws", "The 36 Crazy Fists" or even "Swift Shaolin Boxer", it doesn't have an overabundance of fight scenes to hide its short comings behind. It can't distract us using exceptional choreography or... anything... that you can't get somewhere else. But if you're like me and grew up in the 1990's, where these kinds of Chuck Norris or Don 'The Dragon' Wilson were prevalent, you might understand the appeal, even if you can't necessarily describe it. Say what you will about Cynthia Rothrock or her movies though, she's one of a kind. Female martial arts stars aren't uncommon in Asia, but Rothrock is the one I can think of from America. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 8, 2020)

This will be my last bundle of mini-reviews for the 'martial arts' thread... for a few weeks to a month, maybe. I'm trying to get through my SHUDDER account and unfortunately, there aren't many martial arts movies on that platform, at least ones that I haven't already covered.

*My Father is a Hero (1995)* is directed by Cory Yuen and stars Jet Li, Anita Mui and Miu Tse, the latter being a young kung fu prodigy who seemed to appear in a handful of martial arts flicks during this time period, including another Jet Li vehicle -- "Legend of the Red Dragon". I remember seeing this under the title of "Enforcer", because apparently every time a Chinese movie makes its journey to the west, it must replace its title with something significantly blander. Even though this isn't one of the more highly regarded Jet Li flicks, I think it's pretty underrated. The story is admittedly weak, which usually isn't a problem for an kung fu-oriented film like this, but "My Father is a Hero" does have some pretensions of being a legit gangster drama. Nevertheless, the detractors do overlook that despite its clumsy attempts at making the audience sniffle, this is still an action packed movie with lots of kung fu acrobatics. I actually liked that "My Father is a Hero" incorporate some car stunts, explosions and shoot-outs, which are often part of the martial arts choreography. Jet Li carries the bulk of the action with the same skill and precision that you would expect from him during this time period and Anita Mui is so charismatic that I almost forgot that her character is a large part of why the story fails. Miu Tse gets to showcase his kung fu talents and the image of Jet Li using him as a human yoyo blew my mind as a kid and is still a fun gimmick even now. "My Father is a Hero" might not be one of Jet Li's best works, but I think it's still a very entertaining one.

3/4

*The Hidden Fortress (1958)* is a samurai epic from acclaimed director Akira Kurosawa and served as the inspiration for George Lucas's "Star Wars". This isn't amongst my personal favorites from Kurosawa, but it's still very good, balancing humor, tension, excitement and adventure. The character development is pretty moving, because the movie does not shy away from the fact that even the heroes are very, VERY flawed people. The sword fighting is dramatic, with one duel in particular standing out as nerve wracking. Kurosawa favors wide shots in "The Hidden Fortress", but every frame seems immaculately staged and it really pops out during some of the more ambitious set pieces, which are still breathtaking even to this day. Even though "The Hidden Fortress" has a lot of weighty material, the tone is strangely light hearted compared to Kurosawa's other epics, but it all comes together very well.

3.5/4

I remember seeing *Iron Monkey (1993)* in theaters, as it was given a wide release to capitalize on the success of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", but I couldn't remember a damn thing about it outside of a few visuals. I don't know why, as I found this to be an exceptional wuxia take on the Robin Hood story. There is an excellent blend of traditional choreography and wire works, with a lot of different styles and gimmicks being on display. It's all very cutting edge stuff, so "Iron Monkey" is definitely not short on production value. But the story and characters are also compelling and I always laughed at its funny lines or sight gags, while cringing or tearing up when the tone becomes more dramatic. Great movie.

4/4

*Gen-Y Cops (2000)*, also known as "Metal Mayhem" apparently, is the sequel to "Gen-X Cops".... which I know I've seen, but all I can remember about it is Jackie Chan's name being used on the box cover, even though he only shows up for a cameo. I believe he produced it too, but his one scene has him berating the heroes for not being as cool as him, which summed up my feelings towards "Gen-X Cops". This sequel is MUCH sillier... at least I'm assuming so, because even though I don't remember its predecessor too well, I'm pretty sure it didn't contain any killer robots. I can't say "Gen-Y Cops" is very good, but it's pretty absurd and very broad in its comedy. What is interesting though is that a very young Paul Rudd has a supporting role. Even though "Gen-Y Cops" is a Hong Kong production, this was made during that era when their industry was desperately trying to appeal to western audiences, although this was a bad way of doing so because the American characters are either assholes, idiots or villains. It is funny how these days, Hollywood is desperately trying to appeal to eastern audiences now. The movie itself is pretty lame, but every once in awhile I'd laugh at how ridiculous it would get... and occasionally marvel at a pretty cool collection of stunts or fight scenes. It's mostly gun violence, but they choreograph it almost as if they're using kung fu. If you're in the mood for something campy and stupid, this will provide some fun. 

2/4

*Adventures in Dinosaur City (1991)* isn't a martial arts film, but it does sport a kung fu wielding, anthropomorphic triceratops who kind of sounds like William Shatner, so there's  that... I actually grew up with this movie and have many fond memories of owning it for a time. I've been on a bit of a nostalgic binge lately, so thought I'd catch up with this one and... er... those dinosaur suits don't look anywhere near as cool as I remember them being. The movie is pretty terrible, it turns out, but watching took me back to the 1990's... where suits and animatronics were used instead of CGI... where kids could make sexual innuendos ... where what would become lame was once cool... Seriously though, this movie is bizarrely perverse. The kids watch this cartoon where the dinosaurs beat up naked caveman, who simulate masturbation by throttling their buddies -- this was really f@cking weird, alright? But apparently this was my childhood...

2/4

and currently in theaters...

*Birds of Prey (2020)*... not going to even try to memorize that longer title... is pretty fun, definitely the type of movie that the final cut of "Suicide Squad" was trying to be. I loved the films sense of style; the catchy soundtrack, the colorful visuals, the imaginative set-pieces; slick choreography, etc. This was a very high energy experience, with seemingly every scene being packed with humor or action, but sometimes I found myself wishing it would settle down just a little bit.

There isn't much story or character development, outside of the tired "anti-hero softens while bonding with a kid" cliche. I think it was a mistake to make Harley Quinn the emotional core, because while she might have the most standout personality, she's still a villain. The movie kept asking me to care, but I saw it as her reaping what she's spent a life of crime sewing. The other characters have more involving motivations and arcs, but Harley gets all the screen-time, so I struggled getting emotionally invested -- even if she is the most entertaining of them. But make no mistake, she is entertaining. Her supporting cast is entertaining. The action scenes they participate in are entertaining. I was... entertained...

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2020)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* -- "" review series.

"DragonHeart (1996)" was developed to push CGI further into the mainstream, following the success of "Jurassic Park". It was a big budgeted blockbuster and was successful, albeit not successful enough to produce big budgeted sequels. Only four years later, the film series was already cutting corners, catering to the home market and... literally defecating balls of fire, ending my interest in the franchise.

I didn't even know that they kept making sequels (prequels, technically), much less that said prequels were somewhat warmly received by the fandom. These were still released straight to DVD, so the budgets were meager compared to their theatrical big brethren and low budgets don't usually work well with high concepts... yet apparently "Dragonheart" was a fine mediator between the two. How did the film series overcome these obstacles? Why would they revive the brand on the small screen so many years later, despite the original film fading into 1990's pop culture trivia? We discuss this and more for the "Compulsive Franchise Disorder" coverage of the "Dragonheart" saga, which includes --

-- "DragonHeart (1996)" -- Featuring Sean Connery as the dragon.

-- "Dragonheart: A New Beginning (2000)" -- Featuring Robby Benson as the dragon.

-- "Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse (2015)" -- Featuring Sir Ben Kingsley as the dragon.

-- "Dragonheart: Battle for the Heartfire (2017)" -- Featuring Patrick Stewart as the dragon.

-- "Dragonheart: Vengeance (2020)" -- Featuring Helena Bonham Carter as the dragon.


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## dr_shadow (Apr 10, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> *COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* -- "" review series.
> 
> "DragonHeart (1996)" was developed to push CGI further into the mainstream, following the success of "Jurassic Park". It was a big budgeted blockbuster and was successful, albeit not successful enough to produce big budgeted sequels. Only four years later, the film series was already cutting corners, catering to the home market and... literally defecating balls of fire, ending my interest in the franchise.
> 
> ...



Oh my god there's more after the second one?!


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## MartialHorror (Apr 17, 2020)

*Shogun's Samurai (1978)*, also known as "The Yagyu Conspiracy" (better title), is one of my personal favorite samurai films of all time. This is also one of those strange cases where the flaws and strengths are so closely intertwined that for me, "Shogun's Samurai" can not work as well as it does without the material worth criticizing. I remember after the first time watching this that as much as I enjoyed myself, the story would work better as a TV series -- and it turns out that someone behind-the-scenes agreed, as this was adapted into that medium. There are so many characters and subplots that nary a single one is fleshed out to their full potential. An entire scene will be dedicated to introducing a character who is killed off in their next scene, with very little fanfare. But what makes "Shogun's Samurai" so cool is that every single character -- without exception -- is interesting. Every single subplot is worthy of its own movie and I'd feel like something was lost if anything was removed. Part of this is because "Shogun's Samurai" has one of the greatest Japanese casts ever assembled -- including but not limited to Kinnosuke Nakamura, Sonny Chiba, Toshiro Mifune, Etsuko Shihomi, Hiroki Matsukata, Tetsuro Tamba and Hiroyuka Sanada. Everyone is so good and compelling that I hungrily wanted more of everyone and everything "Shogun's Samurai" offered. 

There's also an incredible blend of political intrigue and action-adventure. There's a lot of people conspiring against each-other and their plots, forged alliances, bloodsoaked betrayals, etc. are incredibly engaging and strategic. Yet balancing out the moody scenes of people whispering in shadowy rooms are sweeping wide shots of the landscapes -- the settings for some awesome battles. We get to see ninja carrying out assassinations, beautifully choreographed sword duels between masters, thrilling horse chases and violent collisions between armies. The costuming is great as well, with Sonny Chiba being the definitive eye patch wielding Yagyu Jubei and is it just me, or does Tetsuro Tambo look f@cking cool in that monk attire? I don't know if the TV series technically improves on the movie. I would like to think there'd be enough time to give every character and their arc adequate attention, but... I really do want to check it out and would love for it to become available to watch. Either way, "Shogun's Samurai" is f@cking awesome and I wouldn't change a thing about it.   

4/4 
*
The Art of Self-Defense (2019)* is a hard movie to categorize, as it's often described as a comedy... but it's probably too dark for that genre... I also often hear it compared to "Fight Club", but it's also too humorous to wear those shoes... Jesse Eisenberg plays your typical Jesse Eisenberg role -- a socially awkward loser. But when he's violently mugged, he takes up karate lessons and gradually becomes a badass... and kind of an asshole... But there is more going on here than he realizes. Eisenberg is great here, as it's cathartic watching him come out of his shell, but also kind of depressing watching him be corrupted in the process. The movie does a good job at balancing comedy and drama, sometimes so seamlessly that you don't even know when one genre begins and another ends, even if once again... that makes "The Art of Self-Defense" difficult to categorize. I did take some issue with this movies portrayal of karate, as someone who grew up with the martial art. It sometimes felt like the director himself wasn't sure how to present karate, as a character will say "Karate is... *something appalling*" without any counterpoint. Eisenberg at one point does say "That's not karate!", but never explains what he thinks it is or is at least supposed to be. It felt more like the director realized he may have alienated practitioners, so tried to cover his ass at the last moment. The ending is both satisfying and frustrating, because one specific act of violence is overlooked to the point of being forgiven, leaving somewhat of a stain on their character development. Nevertheless, there's a lot of good stuff too and even though some plot twists are easy to see coming, they unfold at the right pace to remain interesting. "The Art of Self-Defense" is a good, maybe even great, dark comedy with some thriller elements... but I don't know if it understands karate...

3/4 
*
Shaolin Intruders (1983)* is probably one of the best kung fu flicks that you've probably never heard of, because this title is so interchangeable with the rest that I actually had to look up which one it was. When I realized what movie I was to talk about, I was like "Oh yeah, that movie was awesome". The action is plentiful and boasts some of the most stylish, inventive choreography that the genre has ever produced. Every time I'd think to myself that a set-piece could not be topped, "Shaolin Intruders" told me to hold its bear and promptly proved me otherwise. The cast is all fun and have chemistry with each-other, with each character having their own distinct personality. Even though the heroes are very skilled fighters, "Shaolin Intruders" really puts over the disciples of Shaolin as a dominant force in the world of martial arts. Even though most of them aren't malicious, they function as the antagonists and you get the impression that they're stronger and more disciplined than the heroes -- who usually emerge victorious by outwitting their enemies. It was an interesting dynamic that really heightened the tension, even when the duels weren't necessarily to the death. "Shaolin Intruders" is also working a murder mystery, which initially seemed kind of basic, but actually caught me off guard with its grand reveal. I only wish the title stood out more, as within a year, I'll probably have forgotten what this was called... even if I remember everything else clearly. Oh well.

4/4 

*We Die Young (2019)* is NOT a martial arts movie, even though you might assume so based on the presence of Jean-Claude Van Damme. It's more of a "ghetto" drama, surrounding a teenager forced into drug running in order to survive, only to decide to escape with his little brother when the latter tries to join the gang. Van Damme plays a traumatized war veteran who decides to help them, but while Van Damme turns in a solid performance, his presence was more distracting than anything else. He spends most of the movie struggling with his personal demons and being terrorized by the gangs, so you can't wait for him to go crazy in the finale... but then he doesn't... In fact, "We Die Young" seems to be trying to subvert our expectations by showing him to only be marginally more skilled than the people he's up against... emphasizing that this is a dude with some experience and training, not an action hero... but it deflated the action and left me unsatisfied. I don't know if "We Die Young" would've been better if someone else was in the role or not though, as to be fair, I probably wouldn't have watched the movie if Van Damme wasn't attached. Beyond that -- the movie is fine. It moves at a solid pace, shows some decent action scenes and the performances are good enough to sell the drama. David Castañeda steals the show as Rincon, a ruthless drug Lord who quotes Shakespeare and fusses over his sister's wedding. I strangely became more invested in the wedding subplot than either Van Damme's redemption quest or the two brothers trying to escape their grim life. It's not that either of those stories are bad... It's just that for some reason, the wedding drama was that compelling, lol.

2.5/4 

Taken from the horror thread --

*Raze (2013)* is technically a martial arts flick, but the presentation feels more akin to the horror genre and I'm all for these kinds of hybrids. The fights are incredibly brutal and the violence is sometimes a little too convincing for comfort, but I appreciated the stylish flourishes, the occasional dabbling in camp and a very cathartic climax. It's just too bad that the actual ending sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. 

2.5/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (May 10, 2020)

*Extraction (2020)* was f@cking bad-ass. The concept is kind of tired, as this is one of those movies where the hardened mercenary grows a heart while being assigned to protect a troubled youth, but they handled the material well. Chris Hemsworth's rugged protagonist doesn't really 'dethaw', as he seems to have a soft spot for kids from the beginning and the narrative is so lean and fast paced and the plot hardly even mattered. It's really just one one set piece after another, each showcasing crazier stuntwork, flashier choreography and intense violence than the last. The filmmakers do their best to make the effects look as convincing as possible, while the action doesn't never becomes disorienting -- with one of those 'unbroken one-take' popping out as the films signature scenes. Hemsworth is great, being able to tone down the charm we're used to seeing him display, although the show stealer for me was Randeep Hooda, who admittedly gets to play the most interesting character. Their fight scene was awesome. I had a blast watching this. 

3.5/4 

I'm very nostalgic for *Romeo Must Die (2000)*, as it was one of my first experiences with Jet Li and embodied everything that was trendy about martial arts at the time. The choreography relies a lot on CGI effects, because everyone was trying to cash in on "The Matrix" and the soundtrack relies on hip hop tunes, because apparently kung fu flicks sold well in black communities. I know many people who hated both of these trends, but I kind of grew up with them, so I don't mind myself. Is the movie actually good though? Eh, it's OK. The story is sort of an actionized take on "Romeo and Juliet", but its biggest problem is that it's afraid to commit to an actual romance between Li and Aaliyah. They have some chemistry, but it's sort of awkward that there's no pay-off to it. The fight scenes are usually short and gimmicky, probably because most of Li's opponents aren't martial artists or stuntmen, but they're spaced pretty evenly throughout the story. The cast do a good job at selling a somewhat odd and convoluted storyline. Their characters intrigued me, even when their decision making skills needed a lot of work. I do like that Jet Li just gets to be charming, as his Hollywood roles usually kept him very, very stoic. I'm probably being too generous with the rating, but "Romeo Must Die" holds a special place in my heart. I think it's a lot of fun, flaws and all.

3/4     

*The Sentimental Swordsman (1977)* is another Chor Yuen wuxia that blends swordplay and mystery. As with seemingly all of his movies, this is an acquired taste, as the plot becomes increasingly convoluted, with new characters being introduced left and right, alliances and betrayals seemingly occurring every other scene and possibly even in the same thing and SMALL F@CKING SUBTITLES THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP UP WITH SERIOUSLYOHMYGODWHOTRANSLATESALLOFTHESEMOVIES -- *ahem*. Ti Lung plays 'Little Flying Dagger Li', a master swordsm -- er, dagger thrower -- whose virtues cost him everything. But he's drawn into a big conspiracy plot that's strangely predictable for a Chor Yuen movie, but still intriguing all the same. The titular sentimental swordsman (who doesn't usually wield a sword) is a well written character, perhaps even one of the more rounded heroes of the genre. There's more suspense than usual because while Li's skills keep him alive, you never feel like he's invincible. He has weaknesses that lead to mistakes which feel natural for the character and he always seems to barely get by. The swordplay is pretty good, the production values are stellar and the cast is in fine, although we expect these from Chor Yuen's works. "The Sentimental Swordsman" is somewhat episodic, to where you won't really know what the plot actually is until around the half way point. Sometimes it does feel disjointed, especially when characters will die and seemingly get no reaction from their comrades. But it's always interesting and entertaining, with my favorite 'episode' probably being when Li and his entourage are stalked by a master of poisons. 

3.5/4  
*
Return of the Sentimental Swordsman (1981)* isn't as convoluted as its predecessor, but it's somehow a lot more confusing. Around the half way point, I finally figured out that the central conflict is a bunch of martial artists are butthurt about how they placed in... I dunno, the wuxia equivalent of 'Black Belt Magazine' or some shit like that. At least in most Chor Yuen stories, even if they're hard to follow, you can always tell that there are high stakes involved. This just feels like everyone is sulking because they didn't get the gold medal and I found it much funnier than I should have -- which is kind of a problem when "Return of the Sentimental Swordsman" is quite depressing. Don't get me wrong, it's still a good movie. The characters are all interesting and provide the actors with more material than the genre usually allows. Ti Lung gets to develop Little Flying Dagger Li a little further and I somehow found him to be even more endearing here. Ku Feng is the villain and he alternates between terrifying to charming to funny to pitiful to thoroughly loathable so quickly that you're not sure what to expect from him and Alexander Fu Sheng also gets to play an unpredictable character. The story might be messy, but the action scenes are great. The actors obviously put in a lot of time choreographing the duels and they're sometimes beautifully punctuated by slow motion. As usual, expect extravagant sets, creatively designed weapons and gorgeous cinematography, as befitting a Chor Yuen production. The soundtrack is good, but was it just me or was the composer lifting some of Akira Ifukube's tracks from "Daimajin"? 

3/4 

*Perils of the Sentimental Swordsman (1982)* is NOT a sequel to the "Sentimental Swordsman", even though it has pretty much the same cast and crew, with Ti Lung seemingly wearing the same outfit and wielding the same fan. It's actually a sequel to "Clans of Intrigue" and "Bat without Wings", with Ti Lung reprising his role from those movies instead... even though the story is actually adapted from a Lu Xiaofeng novel, except they switched out the lead characters. So let me try to get this straight -- this a sequel to the wrong movie and an adaptation of the wrong franchise. That is somehow more convoluted than most Chor Yuen stories! Chu Liuxiang (Ti Lung) fails to assassinate the Prince, but fails and flees to ghost village... which might actually be haunted... "Perils of the Sentimental Swordsman" is pretty bonkers and should be a better movie than it is. There are all the makings of something special here. The spooky art design and the colorful lighting are pretty effective, while the characters are all fun to watch. The movie does work in parts for these reasons, but the mystery is kind of undercooked to where none of the reveals have any kind of impact. Sometimes the movie plays its hand too early, other times it rushes through some of its twists and turns to where you don't even register them. Nevertheless, at least "Perils of the Sentimental Swordsman" was pretty funny. I'm not used to seeing Chor Yuen's more comedic works and this isn't taking itself too seriously, which took away some of the sting of its shortcomings. Lo Lieh arguably steals the show as the bumbling thief.  

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2020)

*The Magic Blade (1976)* was actually my first experience with a Chor Yuen movie, although at the time I had absolutely no idea who the director was, nor was I especially interested in finding out... even though I thought this was pretty great even back then. Now that I'm more experienced in his style of storytelling, I'd recommend "The Magic Blade" as a gateway into his filmography, as it's nowhere near as dense or twisty as most of his plots. There are still twists and turns, but you know who the antagonist is from the beginning and... well... if there is a fault to be found here, the "shocking" reveal is pretty obvious. But this still boasts the same lavish production values and moody cinematography that have become synonymous with his works. It also has the same eccentric characterizations, with seemingly every single character standing out as interesting in their own way. Ti Lung stars as Fu Hung Hsieh, a poncho wearing swordsman who teams up with his rival (played by Lo Lieh) to stop an enigmatic master from acquiring the dreaded... peacock dart -- I swear it's more bad-ass than it sounds. "The Magic Blade" might not play out as a mystery like my favorites of Chor Yuen, but it arguably contains his most stylish and imaginative fight scenes. It also has a character named 'Devil Granny', who is as awesome as she sounds.

3.5/4

*Pursuit of Vengeance (1977) *is the sequel to "The Magic Blade", with Ti Lung returns as Fu Hung Hsieh, who is one of a handful of famous swordsmen invited to a manor, where... murder is afoot... This is also a sequel to "The Sentimental Swordsman" and "Return of the Sentimental Swordsman", with Derek Yee (briefly) reprising his role from this movies. I was disappointed in how quickly the aforementioned murder plot was resolved, although it quickly pivots into another one. While I'm fond of Chor Yuen's densely plotted tales of intrigue, "Pursuit of Vengeance" doesn't have the strongest of stories, with some of the twists making you wonder "Huh?" and some characters simply feeling superfluous. Lo Lieh plays an assassin tasked with killing Fu Hung Hsieh, but ends up protecting him from other assassins so he can have him to himself, but I don't really know why they had to include him at all. Don't get me wrong, he's hilarious to the point of upstaging Ti Lung, but he could've been removed and the story would remain unchanged. Speaking of hilarity, "Pursuit of Vengeance" is also more comical than most Chor Yuen flicks, with the final frame leaving me dead with laughter.

3/4  

*Death Duel (1977)* stars Derek Yee as Third Master Chi, the greatest swordsman of his time, who decides that he has had enough of killing everyone who wishes to challenge him for his title, so becomes a nameless wanderer. Yet circumstances will inevitably force him to wield his sword once more. The story is much more sombre and reflective than Chor Yuen's other efforts, focusing on how much it sucks to thrive in the martial world. Derek Yee is very sympathetic in the role, but I do love how terrifying he becomes when he's pushed too far. Because Third Master Chi has forsaken the sword throughout most of the running-time, the action relies more on hand-to-hand kung fu than Chor Yuen's other movies. It's not among my personal favorites, as the narrative does start to become redundant after awhile. This is neither mystery or intrigue, but there are still some twists, even if they're more confusing than shocking. Nevertheless, this might be Derek Yee's most shining performance, as Third Master Chi is a great character who gives the actor plenty of opportunity to show his range. In a bizarre twist, Ti Lung's character from "The Magic Blade" and "Pursuit of Vengeance", makes a cameo alongside Lo Lieh's enigmatic killer from "Killer Clans" -- meaning that Chor Yuen has been building a shared universe this entire time! Remember that "The Sentimental Swordsman" and "Return of the Sentimental Swordsman" are established to have taken place in "Pursuit of Vengeance" and "Perils of the Sentimental Swordsman" is actually a sequel to "Clans of Intrigue" and "Killer Bat". 

3/4

The timeline should be --

-- The Sentimental Swordsman
-- Return of the Sentimental Swordsman
-- The Magic Blade
-- Pursuit of Vengeance
-- Death Duel
-- Killer Clans

I base this off of Derek Yee's character from "Sentimental Swordsman" being visibly aged during "Pursuit of Vengeance". Ti Lung's Fu Hung Hsieh has retired in "Death Duel", so presumably that took place after his two primary feuds and Lo Lieh's character from "Killer Clans" 
*Spoiler*: __ 



 does not survive the events of "Killer Clans", so "Death Duel" had to come first. 


. I'm not actually sure if "Perils of the Sentimental Swordsman" is actually canon, as it's a sequel in name only, but I'll go ahead and pretend it is -- even if there's nowhere to tell when it would take place here. Fun stuff.   
*
The Bastard Swordsman (1983)* is pretty f@cking bonkers, even though the set-up sounds very ordinary for a wuxia. Norman Chu plays a servant to a martial arts clan, being loyal to them in spite of the cruelty they heap upon him. But he's secretly a kung fu master and might be their only hope when a rival clan declares war on them. It might sound perfectly normal, but much of the story involves him learning of the 'Silkworm Style', which is... f@cking bonkers... There are a lot of fantastical elements sprinkled into the choreography, elevating already exceptional and fast paced choreography. Even though yes, some of the effects work is crude, most of it is quite imaginative and there's something special seeing all the various filmmaking techniques come together to create a different kind of martial arts experience. If they made this today, they'd just use CGI and I don't think it would stand out as much, even if I would assume it would be a little less f@cking bonkers. The story just kind of stops instead of ends, although I'd assume it will have a more satisfactory conclusion in the sequel, titled "Return of the Bastard Swordsman". Unfortunately, that one isn't as readily available at the moment, so I don't know when I'll have the opportunity to see it.

3.5/4    

*Human Lanterns (1982) *combines wuxia swordplay with the macabre, with enough grotesque imagery to shame even the horror genre.  Master Lung (Tony Liu) is a swordsman engaged in a rivalry with Master Tan (Kuan Tai Chen), although it's more petty than violent, with Lung desiring to upstage Tan at the next lanterns festival. He enlists the services of Lantern artisan Chun-Fang (Lo Lieh), who is the best of his craft, but has secretly been plotting revenge against Lung after the former bested him in a duel and stole his wife. Chun-Fang will make the best damned lanterns Lung has ever seen... out of the skin of all the women in Lung's life. "Human Lanterns" is f@cked up, with graphic scenes of flaying and sexual violence. Even though the tone sometimes seems like it wants to descend into camp with Lo Lieh's over-the-top performance, but somehow him dressed as an undead, cackling monkey is more terrifying than amusing. The story is very bleak, with even the heroes being pretty unlikable, although they are certainly capable of undergoing development. The women are the voices of reason, but they're treated as pawns in the petty schemes of men. While "Human Lanterns" can be argued as misogynistic, the story does condemn 'toxic masculinity' before it became topical. Nevertheless, "Human Lanterns" is not for those with weak stomachs, especially if you don't like seeing graphic violence inflicted upon women. The fight scenes are thrilling though and there are a lot of creepy moments, making this one of the few true hybrids of martial arts and horror.

3.5/4

and I suppose because it's action...

I skipped *Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)* during its run in theaters because "Terminator: Genisys" killed my interest in the franchise and the weak marketing campaign failed to lure me back in. But do you know what? I didn't think "Dark Fate" was bad. It might run over 2 hours long, but I never grew bored or restless, managing to be entertained even through the films mistakes -- of which there are many. "Dark Fate" can't decide whether it wants to challenge its audience "The Last Jedi"-style, or if it wants to give them a comfortable trip down nostalgia lane like "The Force Awakens" did. It does rely a lot on call-backs and in-jokes, which only the fandom will appreciate, but it also makes some creative decisions that will piss them off. Surprisingly -- I didn't mind the more controversial elements of "Dark Fate", but I suspect this had more to do with "Terminator: Genisys" already pissing me off with similar ideas. I actually liked the new cast and appreciated that the filmmakers attempted to create their own characters out of them. My problem with the trailers is that they were so intent on pushing female empowerment that they made it difficult to take the threat seriously, as seemingly every shot was of the ladies kicking the shit out of the new Terminator, but the movie itself never had that problem. Gabriel Luna's Terminator was pretty menacing in a different way than his predecessors, while Grace (Mackenzie Davis) and Dani (Natalia Reyes) didn't just feel like watered down versions of Kyle Reese/ John Connor/ Sarah Conner.

Speaking of whom, it was great seeing Linda Hamilton back in the iconic role. She's a lot of fun, somehow made the tired "I'll be back" throwback line kind of cool and manages to be both bad-ass and imperfect all at once. The problem is that the emotional core of the story is the bond between Grace and Dani, so even though Sarah provides some of the films best moments, her presence was arguably a distraction. Things really start to get crowded when Arnold Schwarzenegger returns. Once again, while he's also very entertaining (loved the drapes speech), I'm not sure if he did the overall narrative any favors. In the end, I'd argue that the grand returns of Sarah Conner and T-800 cast a shadow over "Dark Fate", keeping the new characters from potentially becoming icons in their own right. But at the same time, some of my favorite parts relied so much on the original cast that I'd be sorry to see them go too. Oh well, at least the set pieces were pretty cool and there was some tension. "Terminator: Dark Fate" doesn't heal the wounds inflicted by "Terminator: Genisys", but it neither re-opened them or added to them. The important thing is... I had fun with it, warts and all. It definitely did not deserve to flop at the box office as hard as it did.

3/4

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## Kuzehiko (Jun 2, 2020)

I wouldn't say I love it but I definitely like it. Dragon Ball Evolution.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 12, 2020)

I have this strange obsession with *Half Past Dead (2002)*, even though it's infamous for being the flop to end Steven Seagal's theatrical career. I have absolutely no idea why I feel the need to revisit it every couple of years, as I don't think it's been treated unfairly by the critics or fans, nor do I find it to be some underrated gem. The best thing anyone can say about "Half Past Dead" is that... well... Steven Seagal's subsequent direct-to-DVD flicks were usually worse. You can see traces of something better in here though, as the production values are decent and the supporting cast is quite good. I will admit that the pacing is brisk enough that I never grew bored, even as I strained my eyes to make sense of the choppily edited action scenes. There are a lot of problems, the first probably being that Steven Seagal looks bored... and his obvious body double should probably be credited as the leading man instead. Ja Rule deserves credit for trying, but I struggled taking him seriously during the fight scenes. The director relies too much on his cast striking "cool" poses while trendy music blares in the background, but to be fair... the action scenes were gutted when they had to go from a Rated-R to a PG-13 rating in post production... so perhaps there was simply nothing else left. 

So why have I seen this movie like half a dozen times?

I'm guessing nostalgia is involved, as this was the first -- and last -- Steven Seagal vehicle that I was able to see in theaters. He might've become one shitty action star, but his bad movies would have a significant impact on how I viewed films for a period of time. I think this was the first time Seagal's body double was responsible for most of the fight scenes and I believe this was also the first time his performance was completely phoned in, both of which would become staples of his later career. "Half Past Dead" also embodies everything about martial arts flicks (in America) during this time period, except it does everything wrong in the process. "The Matrix" was clearly an inspiration, with the use of CGI and wireworks for the action scenes, but it's so weird when characters without any martial arts training start flying in the air to engage in gun battles. One character dresses like Trinity, but it's more comical than cool. They try to cater to an Urban market with all of the hip hop and slang, but they rely far too much on stereotypes and... Steven Seagal's whiteness pops out in such an attention grabbing way that it makes him look even lamer. "Exit Wounds", "Romeo Must Die" and even "Cradle 2 the Grave" did all of this much better, yet "Half Past Dead" somehow ends up being more interesting because of how much worse it really is. I cannot hate this movie, even though I should. Part of me... even might love it... Ew?

2/4

*Hellboy (2019)* isn't anywhere near as terrible as everyone makes it out to be, although it should be noted that I don't worship Guillermo del Toro's "Hellboy" movies anywhere near as much as apparently everyone else does. I thought they were good, but I prefer Guillermo del Toro's original stories, so felt no hostility when this 2019 remake entered development without him. But even though I didn't think it was THAT bad, I can't say it's very good either. The problem with "Hellboy (2019)" is that it feels more like a collection of set pieces, each with varying levels of quality that aren't tonally or aesthetically consistent with the others. Sometimes it resembles a grim fairy tale, other times it plays out like a schlocky horror flick or a silly actioner with hardrock music. I did enjoy all of this 'pieces' in their own way, as sometimes the gore was pretty cool, or the creature and set designs were really imaginative, or the CGI would be so deliberately awful that I'd get a good laugh. But then "Hellboy (2019)" makes the baffling decision to try and recreate the character arcs of Guillermo del Toro's movies, completely f@cking them up in the process. The cast is trying, but their characters interactions are so unpleasant that you start to hate them whenever they speak... and the dialogue isn't that funny either... Not only would a one-liner make me groan, but it would derail the attempts at drama, while the drama itself was usually a wet blanket over the comedy. I might not revere the Guillermo del Toro "Hellboy" flicks, but they knew when to take themselves seriously and when to keep things light and fun. I don't remember either of them ever stepping on each-others toes with mood whiplash. "Hellboy (2019)" works only in parts, but struggles as a cohesive whole.  

2/4

*Furie (2019)* is a pretty bad-ass Vietnamese action flick, with the fight scenes being reminiscent of "The Raid", while the plot likely drew inspiration from "Taken", even if the climax is practically lifted from "Kick-Ass". Yet the characters and setting stand out on their own. The choreography has a great blend of style and brutality, with some spectacular stuntwork thrown in there as well. Veronica Ngo is a convincing anto-heroine. Her character undergoes a variety of emotions that really showcases the actresses range. She's tough as nails, even towards her own daughter, but the movie emphasizes her vulnerability. She's more skilled than most of the people she takes on, but that doesn't mean she can't be injured or be put on the defensive. I was even surprised when she handily loses a few confrontations, which really added to the suspense. "Furie" isn't perfect. I wasn't sure if that cop subplot was entirely necessary and the last line was more cheesy than cool, but it's definitely a satisfactory watch for martial arts and action fans.

3/4

The most surprising part about *Mafia Vs Ninja (1985)* is that the title is not a con designed to lure audiences in with false pretenses. There are indeed ninja and even if the word 'Mafia' is never used, the ninja are fighting the Chinese equivalents -- and have I mentioned that this a Hong Kong production? That means that the "Mafia" are the heroes, using prostitution and gambling to repel the EEEEVIL Japanese invaders. The story makes absolutely no sense, with plenty of rushed developments and gaps in the narrative. After I finished watching "Mafia Vs Ninja", I found out that this was because the film was originally released as a mini-series, but they chopped it up to create a feature film out of it. That makes more sense than the movie does, as what begins as a standard kung fu tale gradually becomes more f@cking absurd as fantastical elements are introduced. The climax is filled with ninja who have special powers that they don't seem to have up until that final fight, yet it's pretty funny. There are a lot of hilariously terrible effects, but do you know what? The fight choreography and stuntwork are both pretty damn good. You can either make fun of "Mafia Vs Ninja" for how cheesy it is, or have fun admiring the martial arts on display, but either way... fun is certainly had...

2.5/4

You can probably tell just from the title that *Clans of Intrigue (1977)* is a Chor Yuen feature, as clans and intrigue and... of... are his favorite subjects. Ti Lung plays Chu Liu-hsiang, a master thief and sleuth, who's being framed for the deaths of four clan leaders, so sets off to clear his name and find the real killer. I have to warn you in advance that the transfer for my DVD wasn't particularly great, with the English subtitles leaving much to be desired, so that might've had an impact on my viewing experience. The plot is once again very dense, as all Chor Yuen movies must be, filled with a large cast of characters that continues to expand even throughout the final act. I often had difficulty keeping track over who was who and who was betraying whose lover's, brother's, roommate's horse -- or however that goes. There were probably too many twists and they don't always make sense, but Chu Liu-hsiang is an endearing character and Ti Lung is so charming in the role that I was invested more in him than the mystery. The finale goes into some pretty crazy territory, with reveals of transsexuals and lesbian kung fu princesses. It's also the first time our hero finds himself in serious danger. He always seems so carefree and in control, so when he's outclassed in both wits and skill, you really feel the suspense. This was followed by two sequels, "Legend of the Bat" and "Perils of the Sentimental Swordsman"... which is itself supposed to be a sequel to "Return of the Sentimental Swordsman", which is part of the same continuity as both "The Magic Blade" and "Pursuit of Vengeance", whose hero also appears in "Death Duel", which also contains a character from "Killer Clans"... I know it's confusing, but that's Chor Yuen for you. I just love this guys work!

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 4, 2020)

*Demon City Shinjuku (1988)* is one of those OVA's (original video animation) that populated the late 1980's/early 1990's, which were infamous for their graphic violence and perverse content. I'm not much of an anime aficionado, but I do remember watching this and the directors other works -- which includes "Vampire Hunter D", "Wicked City" and "Ninja Scroll". These movies were usually a little too... rapey... for my tastes, but I always appreciated their atmospheric art design... and as a kid, I had a morbid curiosity when it came to grotesque, f@cked up imagery. These types of flicks had absolutely no boundaries, nor did they have to worry about budget limitations the same way live-action would, so you'd see some... let us say "crazy shit". "Demon City Shinjuku" was never one of the better ones and hasn't aged with the utmost grace. There isn't much of a story and the dialogue is insanely cheesy, although the bad dubbing kind of makes it charming. Yet like all the rest, the art design is creepy and the action was pretty cool. It's really just a kendo practitioner encountering all sorts of demons in a city abandoned by civilization. While the plot is thin, I did find the setting to be fascinating. This would make for a better series  or a novel, which it apparently is. 

2.5/4 

Hayao Miyazaki's *Princess Mononoke* (1997) was one of my first experiences with more mature animation, so at the time it actually seemed kind of scary. There is a lot of twisted and grotesque imagery, mixed in with shockingly violent content. But in a bizarre twist of fate, my only real problem with the movie now is that the violence seems gratuitous. I enjoy lots and lots of gore, yet I'd laugh whenever a head would pop off from a f@cking arrow strike. Nevertheless, the story is really powerful. The protagonist might seem somewhat bland and flawless, but it's a nice contrast to everyone else, who can't be described as either "good" or "evil". People you'd normally characterize as villains have admirable traits, while those you'd usually characterize as heroes are also self righteous pricks. The art design is memorable and the animation quality balances breathtaking beauty with an eeriness that I found to be captivating. I'd easily give this a perfect rating, if I didn't find the decapitating arrows so unintentionally amusing.

3.5/4

*The Beastmaster (1982)* is technically not a horror film, being part of the 'sword and sandals' adventure trend popularized by "Conan the Barbarian", but it was directed by horror maestro Don Coscarelli ("Phantasm"). The movie is often funny, exciting and action packed, but it also has a few creepy sequences, filled with grotesque imagery. I had a lot of fun watching this, as the characters are charismatic, with the titular beastmaster being an unconventional hero for this genre. He's much more vulnerable than most Conan clones, even shedding some tears after being insulted, but it makes his victories more satisfying. The production values allowed for some really cool and epic set pieces, while Coscarelli's imagineative, nightmarish ideas compliment this genre just as well as they do horror. I would've loved this movie as a kid. "The Beastmaster" under-performed in theaters, but developed a cult following over the years, leading to two made-for-TV sequels and a TV series.

3.5/4

*Terra Formers (2016)* is the live-action adaptation of a popular manga/anime, directed by none other than my personal favorite director himself -- Takashi Miike! It's just too bad that it kind of sucks, relying too much on bad special effects and silly creature designs. The story fails an attempt to colonize Mars by morphing its atmosphere to resemble Earth's, but a side effect is that the cockroaches turn gigantic and humanoid. So they fight back by injecting insect DNA into humans and even though I'm sure the source material makes this work, it's a really f@cking idea in cinematic form. This might be a faithful adaptation though, as it suffers from a lot of the same problems that plague adaptations which try too hard to be faithful. There's too many characters, too many storylines and a never-ending stream of exposition that never quite makes sense. Everything feels too compressed. I've never liked it when live-action movies give characters 'anime' inspired hairstyles, makeup and posturing. It looks cool in animated form, but is hard to take seriously in a live-action format. Nevertheless, there is a lot of action and a fair amount of gore. The special effects might be bad, but they're... bold... and they kept me continuously amused. 

2/4

*Tales of Earthsea (2006) *is yet another Japanese animated film, directed by Gorō Miyazaki (son of Hayao), based on the "Earthsea" book series that I've never read. Apparently fans of the source material were unimpressed, which is unfortunate because I assumed that only the book readers would understand half of this story. There's definitely a lot of flaws in the characters and script, with some plot developments being so awkwardly executed that I was left confused. There's also some serious pacing issues, as seemingly every scene that ISN'T important will be stretched out as long as it can go, while the content that needed to go on longer is always cut short. Yet the animation quality is still breathtaking, with a nice balance of epic visuals and detailed facial expressions. The art design is very reminiscent of Hayao Miyazaki's works, for better or worse... Better in that I always found the aesthetic appealing... Worse for forcing audiences to draw unfavorable comparisons. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 27, 2020)

*Ip Man 4: The Finale (2019)* has Ip Man (Donnie Yen) travel to America, where he encounters racism, a sadistic drill Sergeant (Scott Adkins) who wishes to prove the superiority of Karate, a kung fu teacher who frowns upon Ip's former student Bruce Lee (Danny Chan Kwok-kwan) willingness to teach non-Chinese their martial art, a rebellion son (Jim Liu) who doesn't even want to speak with him... and terminal throat cancer... As expected of this genre, lots of fighting ensues. "Ip Man 4" is definitely cut from the same cloth as "Ip Man 3" was, even though the story is pretty derivative of "Ip Man 2". Once again, there are far too many stories and none of them feel fully developed. Once again, this is mostly forgivable because action lurks around every corner, with the choreography being as flashy and intense as befitting of the cast and crew. Scott Adkins' character is arguably the most cartoonishly evil of all of Ip Man's foes, but his climactic battle with Donnie Yen met my high expectations, both from a dramatic and stylistic standpoint. "Ip Man 4" is the first entry within the franchise to make Ip Man feel like an underdog, so it's pretty brutal watching him take beatings, knowing his illness. Once again, "Ip Man 4" is pretty cheesy in spite of some of its heavier material. Those western caricatures, even the more sympathetically portrayed ones, feel like they were lifted straight from the 1970's kung fu flicks... which might've been intentional, considering the time period it takes place in. Also, was it just me or is it hilarious seeing a Chinese movie take on American politics? Nevertheless, I was entertained. I don't mind the cheesiness, as I think it's a deliberate attempt to play into the nostalgia for 1970's kung fu flicks, which is also what "Ip Man 3" did. The difference between this and those, however, is top notch production values, sincere performances from a great cast and 'Donnie Yen Vs Scott Adkins'. Every movie should have 'Donnie Yen Vs Scott Adkins'. 

Edit: Also... once again... They still don't know how to use the character of Bruce Lee, as he seems like he's going to be important only to be sidelined... again... At least he gets a cool fight scene this time. 

3/4

Who is the *Kid from Kwang Tung (1982)* supposed to be referring too? I'm still not sure, but this is a really fun, silly kung fu movie from the Shaw Brothers. It's also really weird, focusing on two rivals from opposing schools, who are constantly playing petty pranks upon one another. There is also an overarching intrigue plot that will inevitably force them to put aside their differences... and at one point, the story detours into campy horror territory, when they stumble upon hopping zombies... As bizarre as that segment was, the strangest part to me was how Chiang Kam is initially the protagonist but is gradually usurped by Wong Yue as the primary hero. But "Kid from Kwang Tung" is one of those movies where you just have to turn off your brain and appreciate the funny sight gags and kung fu. The choreography is pretty good, showcasing incredible athleticism (especially by the female performers) and distinct martial arts styles. The lion dance competition -- which is actually between a chicken and a centipede -- was awesome. I was both laughing my ass off and impressed by the stuntwork at the same time. Plus, how can you not love a movie where the villain screeches like a kitty? Seriously... that is his gimmick! I swear!

3/4

I actually kind of grew up with *Battle Creek Brawl (1980)*, as I remember it being aired a lot on cable television, making it one of the only Jackie Chan flicks I had access to for a period of time. I'd eventually learn that this was his first American production and that Jackie was displeased with the final result, but the only thing I could remember about it over the years was the climactic brawl. Jackie felt that director Robert Clouse ("Enter the Dragon") didn't understand his appeal, but I think "Battle Creek Brawl" is at least tonally in line with most of his work, showcasing a lot of Jackie's comedic talent. It's just that the movie surrounding him isn't that good. You can tell Jackie is holding back during the majority of his fight scenes, as the American stuntman are clearly not used to the most fast paced choreography he was known for. There are a few standout set pieces though, such as a roller derby race and the titular brawl. The ending is filled with a lot of gimmicky characters and some really cool stunts, like when a villain gets into a car and tears the place up chasing Jackie down. The cast has a surprising amount of chemistry. I not only enjoyed the banter between Jackie Chan and Mako, but Jackie's flirting with Kristine DeBell was cute. Nostalgia is probably making me soft here, but even though I agree "Battle Creek Brawl" was one of his weaker efforts of the time, I enjoyed at least parts of it.

2.5/4  

*Invincible Shaolin (1978) *is another one of those old kung fu flicks where it's best to just ignore the story. Three Shaolin Monks from the Northern temple are brought to train the Qing General's troops after demonstrating their superiority to the three crass Southern Shaolin who had previously been training them. However, the dastardly Qing General murders the Southern monks and frames the more heroic Northern ones to start a war between the two Shaolin styles. What makes "Invincible Shaolin" unique is that the story shifts perspectives from the Northern monks to the more reckless Southern Shaolin monks, even though they're not as sympathetic. It's strange though, because you gradually start to favor them as you follow their crazy training regiments. Beyond that -- lots of really good kung fu action. I'm not the biggest expert on the Shaolin Temple, but was there a period where you didn't have to be a monk to train there? Or was there a time when even monks could get married? Even though they're all heroic in their own ways, all of these supposed monks are quite worldly.

3/4

*A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)* is more of a... fantasy... comedy... horror... romance... but it does contain some wuxia elements, so why not talk about it? It's based on a Chinese short story called "Magic Sword", which has been adapted a few times before and after this, but I believe "A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)" is the most famous and influential of the adaptations. There are a lot of surprisingly good and imaginative special effects, but even though there are some thrilling, exciting and creepy moments, the comedy won the day for me. I thought this was hilarious, so much so that I'd sometimes still be chuckling during the more somber moments. The love story is sweet too though, as the leads have a natural chemistry that makes their romance easy to root for. "A Chinese Ghost Story" isn't for everyone... It's the same kind of wacky, batshit craziness that "A Chinese Odyssey" also was. You'll have to brace yourself for broad sight gags, followed immediately by grizzly violence and enough high octane energy to fuel an entire genre. These kinds of movies were popular in Hong Kong at the time, so if you aren't used to their wild tonal shifts, this might not be for you. I loved it though.

3.5/4    

*Mask of Zorro (1998)* is a swashbuckling adventure that blew my mind upon release. I'm actually surprised to learn that it was produced prior to the rise of Yuen Woo-ping and Jackie Chan in the west, as it seemed to me that the filmmakers were drawing some inspiration from China and Hong Kong for their action scenes. It's possible they were, but if so, then they were doing that before it became popular. The fencing is much more faster paced than what its Hollywood contemporaries were doing at the time and the set pieces, stunt work and choreography work in tandem with each-other to provide plenty of awesome moments. The cast is on point, even if this is guilty of casting white people in Spanish roles... and in the case of Antonio Banderas, a Spaniard was cast as a Mexican. Banderas is strikingly charismatic in the role and has chemistry with everyone he encounters. He's so charming that you almost don't notice how... questionable... some of his actions towards Catherine Zeta-Jones's character are. I don't want to oversell this movie, as it's really just another campy swashbuckler from the 1990's, but it's one of my personal favorites from this era. There was a sequel called "The Legend of Zorro", but I don't remember it being anywhere near as good... and I don't actually remember it...

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2020)

*A Chinese Ghost Story II (1990)* has Leslie Cheung reprise his role as the scholar, who encounters a warrior (Joey Wang) who's the spitting image of his lost love from the first movie... because she's played by the same actress... But is she a reincarnation? Even though the first film is technically the better movie, I think I preferred this one. It's just one series of awesome visuals following another, with imaginative action scenes and grotesque creature effects. Every time I figured the movie couldn't get any more epic, "A Chinese Ghost Story II" demanded that I hold its beer... again... Like I said though, the first film is technically the better movie. There are unsatisfying resolutions in regards to the fates of certain characters and the love story is flimsy. Leslie Cheung and Joey Wang have good chemistry, but the foundation of their romance seems to be based on deception and appearance. It's just harder to care about whether they hook up or not. Wu Ma also reprises his role as the Daoist, but in a reduced role and his appearance during the climax felt kind of pointless. Nevertheless, the set pieces and the brisk pacing kept me thoroughly entertained and I laughed quite a bit too.

3.5/4

*A Chinese Ghost Story III (1991)* is... technically a sequel... 100 years after the events of the first film, the evil tree demon is resurrected and causes havoc at her old temple. When a pair of monks stay at the temple for a night, she instructs Lotus (Joey Wang) to seduce the disciple of the pair (played by Tony Leung), sparking an accidental romance that neither of them want. I was warned that "A Chinese Ghost Story III" was a remake, but the resurrection of the tree demon was set up in the original film and the Daoist is also referenced in passing. Yet it is somewhat of a retread, more or less re-using the same formula of the original film... for better or worse... I actually liked the love story. Even if the story is derivative, I feel like the filmmakers understood what made "A Chinese Ghost Story" work, so this one works for similar reasons. Leung and Wang have chemistry and there's something genuinely charming about seeing their characters develop around each-other. The effects work isn't anywhere near as insane as "A Chinese Ghost Story 2", but the action is still solid, the atmosphere has that nice blend of spookiness and camp and the comedy continued to make me laugh. The biggest problem with "A Chinese Ghost Story III" is that it doesn't really bring anything new to the table. There's very little I'd describe as memorable and I thought the fate of the Tree Demon was weak. Nevertheless, it's fun and endearing, a worthy sequel.

3/4

When I first saw *The Legend of the Swordsman (1992)* when it was released in the United States, I had no idea that its original Hong Kong title was "Swordsman II". Apparently this is part of a trilogy, based on an epic novel called "The Smiling, Proud Wanderer", although part of the reason why it was so easy to distance this one from the trilogy is the story is mostly self contained and they re-cast the principal characters in each of the movies. Jet Li replaces Sam Hui as Linghu Chong, a gifted swordsman who's drawn into a battle amongst clans, which becomes complicated when he falls in love with the mysterious woman (Bridgette Lin)... who unbeknownst to him, is actually the mastermind behind the feud... and not actually a woman. Even though you don't have to watch the first movie to get what's going on, I actually regret not doing so, as I suspect some of the dramatic impact was lost without the full backstory. Nevertheless, there is a pretty stellar story in here, with compelling characters whom you're not sure what path they will follow. "The Legend of the Swordsman" is very much your definitive 1990's wuxia, with lots of wire works, special effects, grisly action and a tone that alternates between humorous and horrific. This was directed by Siu-Tung Ching and produced by Tsui Hark, the same guys who gave us the "Chinese Ghost Story" trilogy, which I had recently seen. I had absolutely no idea there was a connection before this writing, which makes me even sadder that I didn't watch these films in their intended order.

3/4 

*Butterfly and Sword (1993)* was adapted from another epic novel, "Meteor", Butterfly, Sword", which had been previously adapted into one of my favorite wuxia flicks -- "Killer Clans". I haven't read the source material, so I have absolutely no idea if either of these adaptations are faithful, but you'll have to squint to recognize their shared content. Meng Sing Wan (Tony Leung) is part of a guild of assassins, which also includes Sister Ko (Michelle Yeoh) and Yip Cheung (Donnie Yen), but he's recently become married to Butterfly (Joey Wong), so he only agrees to 'one last mission' to settle down with her. I'd go into what this mission is, but I spent way too much time not having a clue what was going on. "Butterfly and Sword" should be easier to follow, as it's less about the conspiracy than "Killer Clans" was and more about the unrequited loves of everyone involved, but a large story is awkwardly crammed in a very short running-time. When the main villain revealed himself, I was like "Wait... who is this guy supposed to be now?". The various love stories were all fairly compelling, but they're all resolved in very unsatisfying ways. I really like Joey Wong and her natural chemistry with Tony Leung, but Butterfly seemed more like a distraction to the story and... who tried to assassinate her again? I seriously struggled with keeping up with what was going on. "Butterfly and Sword" isn't without merit. The cast is all good, even if they're often underutilized and if you like 1990's wuxia, it has all the... wire works, special effects, grisly action and tonal whiplash that you can hope for... The violence is shockingly gruesome and the sword fighting was flashy. The ending is where everything falls apart, with effects that are more funny than thrilling and... seriously who the f@ck was the villain supposed to be? I also wanted to see some real resolution amongst all of those love triangles, but "Butterfly and Sword" is a serviceable enough wuxia...

2.5/4 

Edit: lol, apparently Siu-Tung Ching was the action director for this... It's a small genre after all. 

*Double World (2020)* is sort of like the wuxia equivalent of "The Hunger Games", although admittedly the plot makes a little less sense. War is on the horizon, so the three best warriors from every clan is summoned to participate in a competition that will determine who is the strongest. It's revealed pretty early on that the person orchestrating this event is the villain, but did no one stop and think "Hmmmm, maybe we shouldn't risk the lives of our best warriors before going into war?". The concept might be silly, but "Double World" is very entertaining. I was weirdly invested in all of the characters and their various plights, even though none of them have a lot of time to be fleshed out before the next set piece dominates our attention. The action scenes are pretty cool, with the competition itself having some imaginative stages. The story takes some dark turns that I wasn't really sure I liked, but I guess they served to keep me from ever feeling that these characters were safe. The choreography was a lot of fun, with my favorite fight scenes surrounding a small girl who wields a large sword. "Double World" does rely a lot on CGI, but I thought the effects work was usually pretty good. This was supposed to be released in theaters, but was a casualty of the COVID 19 pandemic, being sold to streaming services instead (like netflix).

3/4

*First Love (2019)* was apparently Takashi Miike's big comeback, although I wasn't aware he needed one. It's more of a comedic gangster flick, surrounding a heist gone terribly wrong that puts a boxer and a prostitute in the cross-hairs of both the Yakuza and the Triads. "First Love" has the manic energy and style that one expects from Takashi Miike, although it's nowhere near as mean spirited. I thought it was pretty funny and exciting, but there does reach a point where there are simply too many characters to keep track of. The finale becomes so over crowded that it reached a point where I just kind of... checked out... I don't know how a duel between a machete wielding, one armed triad and a bad-ass Yakuza with a sword or a brawl between a boxer and a kung fu practitioner can bore me, but if I were to guess, it was just because too much was happening at once. I always like the quirkiness of Miike's works though. He knows how to screw with your expectations and always delivers a lot of weird shit that sticks to your memory. The cast also deserves a lot of credit for selling all of this craziness. The two leads are likeable and cute, even though they're relationship is surprisingly downplayed considering the marketing campaign. My favorite character was Kase (Shota Sometani), whose baffled reactions to his plans being derailed never grew old.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2020)

*Batman Ninja (2018)* is a bonkers-as-f@ck anime adaptation of Batman, where the titular comic book hero and both his comrades and enemies are transported into feudal Japan. Despite the concept of Batman taking on samurai and ninja, the villains mechanize the country, so the gimmick becomes more about Batman fighting giant robots. Seriously -- within the first 20 minutes you'll have the Joker piloting a robotic castle that throws gigantic shuriken. It's f@cking weird. I'm not all that familiar with comic books, so I only know about Batman's rogues gallery in passing, but it seems like "Batman Ninja" is more interested in fanservice than telling a story. Very little of what goes down makes sense and there are too many characters to keep track of, but it's so... high energy... and so consistently strange that I never grew bored. There isn't much room to flesh out the characters and when they try to give Batman a character arc... right before the final battle... it feels very superfluous, yet the interactions amongst the characters are fun. I enjoyed most of the banter, although I sometimes laughed at the movies expense. I'm sure comic book fans will have a different reaction, but when Batman namedrops "Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin" all at once, I was like "WTF!?" because I didn't realize how many allies Batman had that all had similar names. I usually don't like CGI animation that's designed to resemble anime, but "Batman Ninja" was so stylized, polished and... imaginative/ f@cking strange... that I easily rolled with it. The action scenes, which contain plenty of samurai and ninja, are about as slick as one would expect. I actually preferred those kinds of duels over the mech stuff. I wouldn't call "Batman Ninja" good, but I did think it was pretty fun.

2.5/4

*Batman: Gotham by Gaslight (2018)* is a more standard animated Batman adaptation... I assume, as I don't watch a lot of these movies... except the gimmick this time is that Batman existed during the Victorian age... and Jack the Ripper did not prey upon Whitechapel, but Gotham... I don't really give a shit about these animated comic book movies, but the idea of 'Batman Vs Jack the Ripper' was too enticing to pass up, leading me to watch this and "Batman Ninja". I was immediately taken aback with the violence, sensuality and profanity, as I'm just not used to seeing those in these more western tailored animated films, but they did successfully put an edge to the suspense. I did feel like most of the cast, even though they're all Batman regulars, could perish at any time. The animators do a good job at building atmosphere, although the action scenes were a little bit too... polished? I guess that's the right word I'm thinking of? It just sort of deflated the tension for me every time Batman and the Ripper engage in overly choreographed fistcuffs.  I actually wasn't really too impressed by Batman in this movie, as he's introduced fighting... children... and seemingly spends the rest of the movie being outsmarted and outfought. Nevertheless, I still thought this was pretty good and the twist ending legitimately surprised me.       

3/4

*The Killing Machine (1975)*, also known as Shorinji kenpo, is a dramatized biographical film about Doshin So (played by Sonny Chiba), who founded Shorinji kenpo, a Japanese martial art that is a modified version of Shaolin kung fu. I doubt this is very historically accurate, but "The Killing Machine" doesn't have much of a plot anyway. Doshin So begins the story as a bloodthirsty soldier, but has an epiphany and swears to only do what's right... by crippling and castrating (admittedly vile) people... and then he realizes the power of love and... promptly then beats more (also admittedly vile) people to death. He keeps having these dramatic revelations, yet you never get the impression that they're actually changing him. The action scenes are very well choreographed though, which isn't unusual for a Sonny Chiba actioner from this time period, but the camerawork and editing not disrupting the flow of his karate is pretty unique -- so I'd argue "The Killing Machine" is one of his best works from a martial arts perspective. Even though I mocked the storyline for failing to develop Doshin So's despite the scripts insistence that he is in fact developing, it is gratifying watching him tear these assholes apart. The only thing "The Killing Machine" truly lacks is a worthy opponent for him to face, as every single battle is one-sided, including the finale. Some of the drama is pretty overwrought and it is very strange seeing the heroes wear swastikas... and yes, I am aware that the Nazi's appropriated the symbol, but it's still a pretty surreal visual. But if you just want to see Sonny Chiba kick ass, this is a solid one! Just try to find a good copy, preferably in its original Japanese, as the transfer I watched was very grainy and the dubbing sucked. 

3/4 

*The Dead and the Deadly (1982) *is more of a wacky murder mystery than a kung fu film, but the second half just showcase a lot of impressive acrobatics and choreography from Sammo Hung and Wu Ma. Sammo Hung is the nephew of a Taoist Priest whose friend has died under mysterious circumstances, so decides to due some sleuthing, only to stumble upon a plot that changes everything. I liked the set-up and the initial intrigue, but even when the twist is dropped relatively early on, the situations these characters find themselves in both kept everything amusing and even a little intense. Part of me wants to be more critical, as Sammo Hung's character is seemingly demoted from protagonist to plot device for a third act, but at least I was NOT anticipating the direction the story would ultimately go. It was definitely very unusual to say the least. I USUALLY laughed with the movie and its broad gags, but the problem with a lot of Sammo Hung's movies during this time period is they... cross certain lines that I think would make most modern audiences uncomfortable... "The Dead and the Deadly" isn't the most extreme case, but it seems weirdly chill about sexual harassment. If you're familiar with Sammo Hung's work though, then you'll get over it. 

3/4 
*
Silent Trigger (1996)* is a Dolph Lundgren vehicle that's actually somewhat... experimental... or at least unconventional for what Dolph Lundgren is mostly known for. Lundgren plays a troubled sniper, who's tasked with carrying out an assassination in an unfinished skyscraper. He's become paranoid over the years, which isn't helped by his assigned spotter (Gina Bellman) being someone who had previously been ordered to execute him. I actually like this concept, as it allows for different kinds of tension. Lundgren's character suspects that there is some sort of conspiracy, but is he correct or just deluded? Is the spotter plotting to kill him? Unfortunately, the acting just isn't quite good enough to make this all work. Christopher Heyerdahl is both the best and worst part of the movie, as the drugged out, rapist security guard who takes an unhealthy liking to the spotter. Heyerdahl's performance is gloriously over-the-top, but when he overpowers the Spotter, it kills the tension because even if she's plotting to kill the sniper, we now know she wouldn't stand a chance against him. But to make matters worse, the filmmakers try to make Heyerdahl a credible threat to the Sniper, which... is just f@cking stupid... "Silent Trigger" isn't a bad film, it's just not as good as it clearly wants to be.

2/4


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## dr_shadow (Sep 13, 2020)

No Mulan review?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2020)

lol, not paying 30+ dollars for it.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 3, 2020)

I was debating whether or not the "3 Ninjas" saga should be a subject for my 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' review series, but I don't think I have enough to say to justify the complete write-up, so I'll informally talk about them here. Consider this a 'mini-review series' of sorts.

I should warn all readers in advance that I have a lot of nostalgic attachments to *3 Ninjas (1992)*, as it combined two of my favorite brands at the time -- "Home Alone" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" -- into one action packed kids movie. How could a 6 year old not love the idea of actually being a ninja? I have so many fond memories of my two (former) step brothers watching our poor VHS tape until it started to fall apart on us and we would pretend to be Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum. I was Rocky... although in reality I was closer to Tum Tum. Looking back at this as an adult, "3 Ninjas" is... not very good... I'm not going to bother complaining about the broad performances or the pedestrian story, as children don't care about the latter and if anything, favor the former. The martial arts showcases some decent choreography here and there, but it's embarassingly obvious when stunt doubles are used -- which is usually. This is especially apparent with Victor Wong, but his presence was worth it as he does come across as the coolest grandpa ever. I would argue that "3 Ninjas" is more serviceable than good or bad though. It understands its target audience perfectly, although I do wonder if modern children would get anything out of this, as pop culture has changed so much that ninjas might not seem so cool anymore. But for me and my age group, the movie made us feel like back-ass ninja in all of its mediocrity. "3 Ninjas" was a box office success, albeit mostly relative to its low budget. I'm sure it made a killing on home video though.

6/10

I can't remember when I saw the first movie, if it was in theaters or when first released on home video, but I do remember seeing *3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994)* when it debuted on VHS. It apparently did play in theaters, but didn't make as much money as its predecessors did. I was pumped for this sequel though, so I must have seen the original before 1994. I remember liking this one too, but I also recall being confused and disappointed when I realized that the kids were all played by different actors. The humor is even goofier this time around, but at the time, I laughed my ass off when that fat kid's farts was knocking everyone out within smelling distance. As an adult, there were some nostalgic chuckles to be had here and there, but everything was just... too silly... something I felt even as a kid. Even at 8 years old, I preferred my childrens entertainment to have at least some teeth, a sense of danger -- which the first one had. Nevertheless, "3 Ninjas Kick Back" was... fine for what it was... I guess.

5/10

So this is where things get confusing. 

*3 Ninjas Knuckle Up (1995)* marks the triumphant return of the original cast, reprising their roles after being replaced in the last film... except it was really the opposite. This was filmed first, shot back-to-back with "3 Ninjas Kick Back", which was actually supposed to be the third entry. They were replaced simply because it was obvious they were getting a little too old. Speaking of which, I must've been getting too old at the ripe age of... 9... because I remember thinking this was kind of lame and dull. As an adult, I couldn't recall a damn thing even as I was watching it. The humor is simply unfunny, but I also thought the action scenes were technically better than the last two flicks. There's a pretty solid car chase, decent stuntwork and choreography. I also liked the character arcs of the three ninjas... if only in theory, as the movie only cares about it when it's convenient. While I thought the fight scenes were OK, the movie has a poor sense of pacing. I thought it was wrapping up before the third act even started! The director was , whose life story is far more compelling than the movies he actually made... or the movies anyone ever made... It involves being held captive in North Korea -- seriously, look it up. It's an incredible story.

4.5/10

*3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998) *was a big enough failure to kill the franchise. I did see it upon release because I was going through a professional wrestling phase and Hulk Hogan was promoted as 'the star'. I disliked it back then, but to be fair, the kids who were enamored with the original were probably too old for its wacky hijinks by 1998. One thing I will give the first three movies credit for is even when they're being lame, annoying or outright bad, they always had a high energy to them. This just... well... feels very much like a franchise that has run its course. Victor Wong only has a glorified cameo this time around and it's really sad to watch him, because he doesn't look well. He would pass away only three years later. To make things even more depressing, Jim Varney plays a supporting character and would pass away only two years later. He easily turns in the best performance of the movie though. Hulk Hogan also plays a supporting role and does... OK, I guess... Sometimes he looks embarrassed, but part of me wonders if his character was even in the original script. He seems superfluous and his arc almost seemed designed for the Grandpa, but maybe Victor Wong just couldn't do it. Either way, the movie is just pretty bad and the behind-the-scenes shadows definitely linger over it in hindsight.

3.5/10 

Overall, this film series followed the traditional formula of getting worse with each installment, but at least it... ended... I can tolerate a shitty sequel with Victor Wong, but he was the true heart of the saga and I wouldn't want to see anymore entries without him. Nevertheless, I did enjoy this trip down nostalgia lane, even if there reached a point where I stopped enjoying the films themselves. Will they ever revive the "3 Ninjas" brand? Eh, I don't see it happening in the immediate future. It's not like these movies have an enduring reputation, but who knows? I keep hearing there's about to be a wave of 1990's nostalgia and if ninja can find their footing in pop culture once more, maybe there will be a revival.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 19, 2020)

*Debt Collectors (2020)*, also known as "The Debt Collector 2", is the sequel to... well... "The Debt Collector", with both Scott Adkins and Louis Mandylor reprising their roles as a pair of reluctant debt collectors, who are tasked with collecting the debts of highly dangerous people. I didn't realize this sequel was necessary or even wanted, but "Debt Collectors" refines the strengths of its predecessor while improving upon its weaknesses. Once again, I love the chemistry between its leads, as they're both alike and different in the best possible ways. I enjoyed seeing them bicker, bond and brawl alike. The choreography and stuntwork has also dramatically improved, with a few fight scenes standing out as pretty damn cool. I especially loved the throwback to the iconic brawl from "They Live". The pacing is lightning fast and the humor is generally amusing. The story still lacks substance though and perhaps it relies too much on the events which occurred in the last movie, which I could hardly remember. It's probably best to watch "Debt Collectors" back to back with the first one, but I still had a good time regardless.

3/4

John Woo was technically not the director of *Reign of Assassins (2017)*, but he was apparently involved so heavily in the production that he ended up sharing a credit with  Chao-Bin Su and the marketing department advertised his name so heavily that everyone assumed Woo was at the helm. Zhen Jing (Michelle Yeoh) marries Ah-sheng (Jung Woo-sung) and all seems happy for the couple, but she has a dark past. It turns out she was a former assassin who betrayed her clan and stole the partial remains of a mummy, which is said to grant mystical powers. Of course, her past will catch up to her. This wuxia boasts polished production values and stylish choreography, being reminiscent of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", "Iron Monkey", etc. I love how all of the characters have their own distinct styles, with Yeoh's being especially photogenic and cool. The cast is great and the characters are interesting, although sometimes they behave in ways that don't make sense. I also struggled keeping up with the story early on, as so much information is rushed through in a short amount of time. "Reign of Assassins" was written to be a throwback to the writings of Gu Long, whose complex works were often adapted by Chor Yuen for classics such as "The Sentimental Swordsman", "Clans of Intrigue", "Duel of the Century", etc. I love those movies, but the difference between those and this is that "Reign of Assassins" prioritizes the action and the more intimate drama, whereas they focused on the intrigue and dense plotting. "Reign of Assassins" is at its best during the swordplay scenes or the romantic moments. Once everyone starts revealing their elaborate schemes, it just kind of lost me. Nevertheless, I am thoroughly impressed that "Reign of Assassins" made me so invested in a romance where the couple falls in love off-screen. Michelle Yeoh and Jung Woo-sung have a delightful chemistry that made it very easy for me to remain patient for the next action set piece. Even though there's an overarching threat of a shady menace wanting to take over the martial world, the real stakes were whether or not she can hide her bloody past from him. Like I said, that was when "Reign of Assassins" excelled.

3/4

I have been a Jean-Claude Van Damme since I was a kid, but much to my everlasting shame, this was the first time I ever saw *Timecop (1994)* -- in spite of it being his most successful starring vehicle. This is part clever science fiction, part cheesy action and all f@cking awesome. Van Damme stars as Max Walker, who police officer whose jurisdiction is... time travel... The movie makes great use of Van Damme's athleticism, with him constantly doing the splits or showing off his agility. His performance is pretty standard for the time, but you either like him or you don't and the supporting cast is good enough to elevate him. I thought "Timecop" had a pretty cool story though that has fun with the time travel concept. There is one twist that I didn't think worked, but the movie moves at such a brisk pace that I quickly adapted to it. There are so many epic moments here, like when a baddie's arm freezes and Van Damme kicks it off, followed by a typical cheesy one-liner (of which there are many). I would've loved this as a kid, but I also kind of love "Timecop" as an adult. This definitely is Van Damme's best movie... at least from an action standpoint.

3.5/4

I sometimes wonder why I review Dolph Lundgren movies here, as even though he knows martial arts, he was never packaged as a martial arts star. He usually only busts out his moves when paired with an actual 'martial arts star'. I regard him as an underrated performer, but I think his biggest drawback is that the competition sort of upstaged him during his prime. He doesn't have the physique of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the sex appeal or athleticism of Van Damme, the comedic timing of Bruce Willis, the dramatic capabilities of Sylvester Stallone nor the uniqueness of Steven Seagal. It also didn't help that most of his movies were low budgeted and mediocre. Yet he has a little of everything, so it's interesting to see him try anything, whereas a lot of those guys flounder outside their comfort zones. At the absolute least, I always seem to want to talk about Lundgren.

*The Peacekeeper (1997)* is a rip-off of "Die Hard" and "Under Siege", which itself was kind of a rip-off of "Die Hard". I don't look down upon the wannabes for simply borrowing "Die Hard"'s formula though, as it works... even with lesser films. "The Peacekeeper" is mostly mediocre, but it has enough good moments to make it worthwhile. There's a pretty cool car chase early on and the attempts at comedy are... charming... if not always funny. There is some genuine suspense though and I was surprised how the stakes escalated for such a low budgeted movie. Lundgren is OK. His dialogue is lame, but he somehow kind of makes it work. The supporting cast is good, with Roy Scheider giving it his all, but what were they thinking when they cast Montel Williams in a sizeable role? He's pretty terrible and his presence is distracting, but you know what? That's also part of the charm. "The Peacekeeper" is usually a fun time and that's what is important, even if it's sometimes fun for the wrong reasons.

2.5/4

*Forced Vengeance (1982)* is a surprisingly sleazy Chuck Norris vehicle, which is pretty light hearted and silly until people start getting raped and murdered... Yikes... I think this was an attempt at film noir, as the story is structured as kind of a mystery that explores the seedy underbelly of Hong Kong, while Norris provides a snarky voice over. I always like a little experimentation and genre melding from my action stars, but this was pretty subpar. Too much time is spent building up a big reveal that the VILLAIN IS.... some guy we haven't met before... There is a lot of action, but it's all relatively standard stuff, never popping out as particularly impressive. Norris is probably the most legit of martial arts stars, but he never had the most exciting choreography to work with and this is no exception. I liked how he did occasionally take a beating though. The acting is generally solid, but there is one scene that required Norris to emote and he just doesn't, completely deflating the emotional impact. William Goldstein's score is easily the best part of the movie, being pleasant to listen to while adding a dash of excitement to the action. "Forced Vengeance" isn't... terrible... It's just kind of bland, neither being any better or worse than what Norris had been doing up until then. My favorite era of Norris is between 1983 and 1986, as his productions had more money to work with, the action remained violent and Norris himself seemed more comfortable in front of the camera.

2/4

Reactions: Like 2


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## dr_shadow (Nov 27, 2020)

Bruce Lee would have turned 80 today.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## dr_shadow (Dec 5, 2020)

dr_shadow said:


> No Mulan review?





MartialHorror said:


> lol, not paying 30+ dollars for it.



It's now on Disney+ at no extra charge.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 5, 2020)

dr_shadow said:


> It's now on Disney+ at no extra charge.


Yeah I'll get around to it sometime.

Reactions: Old 1


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## MartialHorror (Dec 21, 2020)

@dr_shadow this is for you.


*Mulan (2020) *seems to have become the most polarizing of the Disney live-action remakes, getting good reviews from western critics while being panned by Chinese critics, although everyone else seems pretty unenthusiastic. While I remember enjoying the 1998 animated classic of the same name, I had already mostly grown out of 'kids stuff' at that age, so don't feel any loyalty to its legacy. I was much more skeptical towards the live-action "Aladdin" and "The Lion King", as they played more important parts of my childhood. Of course, I find myself wondering if the quality of "Mulan" did not really reflect the reception, as there are tensions between China and the United States, making Disney's efforts to satisfy both crowds sort of awkward at best. The attempt to get people to pay $30 on top of the Disney+ subscription may have intensified the hostility too, although in the end I just thought this was... meh...

There are some really cool moments. I actually thought the first big battle where Mulan decides to fight as a woman for the first time was breathtaking. The choreography and drama is at its finest at that specific moment, while Mulan's feminine clothing really stood out amongst the sea of dirt covered armor and the arrangement of "Reflection" was beautiful. Unfortunately, you could kind of tell that this went through reshoots, as much of the action and effects work seem rushed. I realized that while I did like the costumes and set design, I've seen better in similar movies. The choreography is decent, but once again, I've seen better. From a 'wuxia' standpoint, this was thoroughly average. I do love this cast and for the most part, I thought they were good. But the movie doesn't utilize them very well and strips them of their originals' personalities and character arcs. Donnie Yen is just... there... The original character of Shang is split between his role as the commander and a different love interest, but neither of them are particularly interesting. They don't even seem to care that much that Mulan is a woman, only being angry that she deceived them. Also, I don't know if they removed a subplot in reshoots, but was it just me or was it implied that the new love interest suspected her secret all along? He gives her some odd, meaningful glances but they don't do anything with it. Furthermore, their dynamic is kind of confusing. They start off on the wrong foot, but seem to be friends in the next scene, only for the following scene to show them still at odds with each-other... Maybe that was also the result of reshoots.

The flaws keep it from being good, but I thought it moved at a fast enough pace to where I was never really bored or annoyed. At the absolute least, I got to see Jet Li in something again, so that's always a positive... even if the ADR with him was sometimes so bad that he occasionally sounded dubbed over. As far as live-action remakes go, umm.... I actually liked "Aladdin" (3/4?), which captured at least some of the power of its original while the new stuff wasn't terrible. "The Lion King" (2/4?) had more highs and lows. I think I'll remember it for its strengths longer than "Mulan", but I think I got a little more entertainment from "Mulan". I'm just more disappointed somehow, because this was the one I was sure I would like, if only for its genre and cast.

2/4

*The Old Guard (2020) *is a gritty comic book adaptation and it's pretty good. Charlize Theron leads a group of immortals, who secretly travel the world and partake in benevolent causes, but they've all become disgruntled over the centuries and struggle to remain hidden thanks to modern technology. They find themselves being hunted by a mysterious organization. The action was bloody, stylish and intense, being somewhat reminiscent of "John Wick". The cast is fun and the characters are surprisingly fleshed out, without sacrificing the brisk the pacing. I don't know if I'll remember this very long, but I was thoroughly entertained by it.

3/4

*Sure Death 4: Revenge (1987) *is part of a long running television franchise known as 'Hissatsu' (or "Sure Death"), which has expanded beyond T.V and into a surprisingly lengthy series of movies (11 in total; according to wikipedia). Set in feudal Japan, our protagonist is a lazy constable by day... an integral part of a lethal guild of assassins by night... He stumbles upon a murder mystery that of course will expand into a much larger conspiracy. I knew absolutely nothing about this franchise, but decided to check out "Sure Death Revenge" (the sloppy title by netflix's hard disk branch) because it's a f@cking murder mystery with f@cking samurai detectives, so why the f@ck wouldn't I f@cking watch this? Oh wait, it's the fourth entry in the film series? I did not know that until the official title screen popped up, much to my annoyance. Nevertheless, I did catch up to the overarching story quickly enough that I never really felt lost or disoriented. I thought this was f@cking awesome. The plot is convoluted, but in a fascinating way reminiscent of Chor Yuen's intrigue tales. Every character is compelling and the world building was so intriguing that I now really want to complete the franchise. I loved the over-the-top violence and thrilling sword fighting. I loved the dry wit of our protagonist. I loved the spaghetti western stylings, the Morricone-esque soundtrack included. I loved the ambitious set pieces, the moody lighting and psychedelic flashes and gorgeous scenery. I just f@cking loved this movie and wish I had seen it in its proper order.

3.5/4

*Dolemite (1975)* is one of those cult favorites that I'd always hear about over the years, but never found the time to actually sit down and watch it. I have to confess that in spite of my love of genre filmmaking, I'm not very familiar with blacksploitation. I've seen a few, such as the "Shaft" franchise, but I've seen so few that most of the jokes within the very popular "Black Dynamite" flew right over my head. But what about "Dolemite"? Eh, it has its charm. I was surprised to find out that this was apparently supposed to be a parody, which makes sense, as its star (Rudy Ray Moore) was a comedian and Dolemite was his routine. But seriously -- the bad acting and crude filmmaking just felt like genuine bad acting and crude filmmaking. Like with "Black Dynamite", I just didn't get the joke... except I could at least tell "Black Dynamite" was telling the joke. Nevertheless, while there are some serious pacing problems, I guess I get the appeal. It is a pretty funny visual seeing Dolemite use... what is supposed to be Karate... and Rudy Ray Moore does have charisma, which is am amusing contrast to his wooden line delivery.

2/4

*The Human Tornado (1976)* is the sequel to "Dolemite" and this time, it is very clearly supposed to be a comedy. Because of the increased production values, they could do more visual gags and hire real actors, who ham it up so much that they feel like they're parodying "Dolemite" -- even though that was supposed to be kind of a parody. I thought it was pretty amusing, although I think the action scenes ran too long. I started to drift off at the climax, but "The Human Tornado" is certainly memorable. There are so many bizarre moments that you never really know what is going to happen next.

2.5/4

I wouldn't normally review something like *Dolemite is My Name (2019)*, because it's a comedic drama about the dysfunctional production of Dolemite, but since "Dolemite" at least partially embraced the kung fu craze, why not talk about it a little? It's good, balancing drama and humor seamlessly and the cast is great. Eddie Murphy is excellent as Rudy Ray Moore, but I was personally thrilled to see Wesley Snipes playing a role that wasn't just derivative of "Blade" in some way.

3/4

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## BlueDemon (Dec 22, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> The Old Guard (2020)


Also found it quite good.


MartialHorror said:


> Terra Formers


Didn't know it got a live adaptation.


MartialHorror said:


> Extraction (2020)


Glad to know it's good, been planning to watch it for a while now.


MartialHorror said:


> Hellboy


Was a bit disappointed even while going in without any expectations. OG Hellboy best Hellboy.


MartialHorror said:


> *Princess Mononoke*


Gotta re-watch this already


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2021)

*Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)* is the much anticipated (and much delayed thanks to Covid19) sequel to the surprisingly successful "Wonder Woman" and was it worth the hype? Its reception has been somewhat polarizing, so there is going to be no right or wrong answer, especially as its box office performance is more of a reflection of the troubled times we live in and not its quality. I personally thought it was a lot of fun, even if I understand -- and maybe even agree with -- the majority of the complaints. Was the opening flashback really necessary? Not really, outside of foreshadowing the cool looking armor... which itself wasn't really necessary... But I still thought it was a visually arresting and exciting action sequence. Was too much time spent on Diana (Gal Gadot) and the resurrected Steve (Chris Pine) going through silly shenanigans? Maybe, but they still have chemistry and I found said silly shenanigans to be funny. Was I taken about by the lack of action throughout the majority of the middle block? Sure, but I was still invested in the story so I never grew bored, even though the movie was certainly pushing it with the lengthy running-time. What about the complaints about how Steve is technically possessing someone else's body and yet neither he or Diana seem really concerned about this? Eh, I got nothing. That is a strange oversight by the filmmakers, although that probably would've been a wet blanket on the romance if explored. 

You can tell that the filmmakers took the criticisms about the lackluster villains from the first movie seriously, as a lot of time is spent on fleshing both Max Lord (Pedra Pascal) and Cheetah (???) out. I found them both compelling, although Pascal's channeling of Donald Trump's mannerisms was pretty distracting -- and inconsistent. I still enjoyed the development of Wonder Woman herself and appreciated how the movie tried to make her more vulnerable. Gadot really is phenomenal in this role and a few scenes made me tear up. My biggest complaint is that the finale is just not all that great. I appreciated the attempts at blending pathos and excitement, but the former kind of felt forced and the latter was just lacking. Nevertheless, I did find myself going full circle as "Wonder Woman 1984" is unusually optimistic -- something I personally needed at this point in my life. 

3/4 

*Hard to Kill (1990)* probably contains Steven Seagal's best performance, as this was still during his prime, where he would put passion in the delivery of his lines. Yet the story demands that he emote more than his usual characterization and even puts him in vulnerable positions, so it's no surprise to learn that he and the director apparently did not get along -- as you just know that Seagal does not like being seen as vulnerable. It's a shame too, as "Hard to Kill" reminded me that once upon a time... Seagal was a genuine talent whose career probably would be in a much healthier state if he worked with more directors who challenged his image. Nevertheless, "Hard to Kill" is still action packed, filled with violence and martial arts. Seagal busts out more of his aikido techniques than usual and the choreography is pretty solid. This is definitely one of Seagal's better films, only surpassed by "Under Siege" and maybe "Out for Justice", although "Marked for Death" is arguably more popular amongst his fans. 

Also, "I'm going to take you to the bank... the blood bank!" might be the best worst one liner ever. Love it!

3/4

*Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)* was produced when Steven Seagal was still technically a star, so his projects still commanded sizeable budgets, yet you can REALLY tell that Hollywood was getting fed up with him because this sequel seems much more interested in the villains and supporting cast than him -- although it's certainly possible that Seagal simply refused to shoot during his temper tantrums and the filmmakers were forced to work around him. He's still the protagonist though, with the gimmick being that the train he's riding on along with his estranged niece (Katherine Heigl) is hijacked by terrorists who are plotting to destroy the Pentagon. I absolutely loved the villains here. Dane () is a blast as the insufferable mastermind who you just love to hate, while Penn () is genuinely intimidating as the more physical baddie whom you actually feel can take on Seagal. But even the supporting cast and the extras who were hired to play the remaining heavies are really effective, either looking creepy, imposing or just being so vile that you can't wait for Seagal to inflict punishment upon them. It's just a damn shame that once again... Seagal's ego... deflates the villains. For all the time they spend building up Penn and his climactic fight with Seagal, he ends up getting his ass kicked rather easily.

Seagal's performance is a mixed bag. Sometimes he seems invested and plays off the cast well, but other times he sounds pretty robotic and bored. He still handles himself well in the action scenes, but like I said before, the movie seems to focus more on the villains than the hero this time around and they're much more entertaining than he is. I think people remember "Under Siege 2" as being worse than it really was though. Even though it's certainly inferior to "Under Siege", the production values allow for plenty of cool and violent set pieces. I thought it was smoothly paced and there's even an admirable amount of tension, even if there is also Morris Chestnut playing one of the most annoying comedic side-kicks within a decade that was infamous for its annoying comedic side-kicks. So there's a lot of good and a lot of bad, but I'd argue that this sequel was serviceable.

2.5/4 

Kenji Mizoguchi's *Ugetsu (1953)* is regarded as a masterpiece that helped popularize Japanese cinema in the west, being more of a period piece drama with samurai than an actual samurai movie. The plot description often reads something like "Two peasants seek their fortune amidst a civil war, while their wives try to find them and bring them home", but in actuality it's more like "Two peasants seek their fortune amidst a civil war... and their wives pay for it". This is a bleak, sometimes even depressing movie that's so slow paced that I reached a point where I decided that this simply wasn't for me. I couldn't deny the masterclass filmmaking behind it though, with some of the visual cues and transitions being innovative for the time. The characters are well written, even when they're behaving like assholes and I thought portraying the samurai as a bunch of entitled thugs was a compelling choice. Because none of our "heroes" can really defend themselves, you really feel the tension when the samurai are nearby. Yet while admiring "Ugetsu", I spent a lot of the movie a little bored... until the story takes a startling turn that suddenly connected with me. By the end, I was sniffling and nodding my head in acknowledgement that "Ugetsu" is indeed... a masterpiece...

3.5/4

Jackie Chan's *Police Story (1985)* is often touted as one of the best action movies of all time, with some of its set pieces being so incredible that Hollywood occasionally recycles them -- and are never quite as cool. Even though Jackie had performed many dangerous stunts before, "Police Story" is a big part of why he would become infamous for his death defying stuntwork. I don't even think there was that much kung fu here, as most of the action is built around him driving cars through shantytowns, hanging off of a moving bus, nearly being run over by vehicles and... the f@cking mall... Even though the choreography is lightening fast and stylish, it's hard to pay attention to the technique when people are being thrown through sugar glass that was designed to be twice as thick as the norm to look more realistic. Even though "Police Story" is technically a comedy, some of those lumps were grisly. I do have to warn you though -- the movie relies a lot on broad, slapstick humor that might be a little annoying if you aren't used to Hong Kong humor. I struggled to fully embrace it for this reason as a kid, but as an adult? I'm used to it, even if I didn't laugh as much as I wanted too. Nevertheless, you're not going to remember the pies in the faces or the shrill antics of Maggie Cheung anyway. "Police Story" doesn't fit my definition of the best action movie of all time... but I do believe it contains the best action in a movie of all time. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2021)

I have a soft spot for Jackie Chan's* First Strike (1996)* because it was actually my introduction to Jackie Chan... I think... I do have some memories of a Japanese family friend bringing over his copy of "Drunken Master II", but I can't remember which of the two I saw first. I seem to recall at least knowing who Jackie was when I watched "First Strike", whereas I don't think I did when I saw "Drunken Master II", but at the absolute least -- "First Strike" would've been my first theatrical experience of a Jackie Chan movie. I would later learn that this was part of the "Police Story" franchise, but because this was geared more towards international audiences, it got the complete distribution deal. Has it held up well over the years? I think so. "First Strike" isn't the best display of Jackie's skills, whether it's through his comedic timing, fast paced choreography or death defying stuntwork, nor does it have the cutting edge set pieces of something like "Operation Condor", but it is a solid showcase of his abilities and did push the production value of Hong Kong cinema forward. I usually thought it was funny, the fight scenes were cool and the stunt work was inventive. The finale is pretty ambitious with the spectacle, which includes f@cking shark attacks. Some of the effects are obviously phony, but there is some pretty impressive footage of real sharks. I found myself liking the James Bond vibe of the story, even if it's a little contrived how a Hong Kong policeman would find himself utilized by the CIA, the new KGB, etc. "First Strike" obviously holds a special place in my heart, but it is a pretty damn good action flick.

3/4 

I was hoping to like *Danger Dolls (2014)* more than I actually did because it was both directed by Shusuke Kaneko (the "Gamera" trilogy) and starring Rina Takeda ("High Kick Girls"), while boasting one of those bizarre concepts that involve super human warriors masquerading as J-pop idols so they can battle... inter-dimensional beings... or something like that. The fight scenes are OK and there are a few amusing moments, like how their pop song seems to be about vigilantism and murder. The plot makes little sense though and the visual effects are surprisingly bad considering how Kaneko usually specializes in such things. The campy performances are amusing for awhile, but the story takes some dark turns that felt at odds with the tone. People start dying, but I struggled to care because I was too busy being amused by the mad cackling of the villain, even though the music and reactions of the cast suggest that I was indeed supposed to care. I'm not really familiar with this kind of "sentai" flick, so I can't say whether this is better or worse than most. Fans of that specific genre might enjoy this more than I did.

2/4 

I don't know why I never pursued the Street Fighter video games, when there was a time I had watched all of the movies and followed all of the TV series'... or should I say I'm not sure why I explored the extended media so much when I only have a few memories of playing "Street Fighter" on the arcade. I was always more of a "Tekken" kind of guy and even "Mortal Kombat" interested me more, even if my exposure to that series was more limited. *Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie (1994)* is exclusively for the fans, as it relies too much on your knowledge of "Street Fighter" lore, while offering little else for anyone wondering into this animated adaptation. Nevertheless, "Street Fighter II" was warmly received by the fandom, as the fight scenes are surprisingly good. I don't remember seeing any of the usual corner cutting techniques popularized by anime, such as speed lines. The characters are practically super human, but don't move faster than the eye can see, so we can see the entirety of the character movesets -- which are faithful to the source material. I did often find myself wondering why certain characters would make appearances, as they offer nothing to the story other than fanservice, but I did appreciate how they showcased a lot of personality in their limited screen-time. 

There are certain quirks that you're just going to have to accept going into this though. The dubbing is somehow both good and bad, as the dialogue is stilted and awkward, but the voices perfectly match the larger than life characters. The bond between Ryu and Ken though is so homoerotic that I was practically expecting Ken to come out of the closet by the ending. I don't find anything wrong with the idea of Ken being gay, but I don't think that's what the filmmakers were going for, so it just ends up being unintentionally hilarious.  While I enjoyed both of the simultaneous storylines featuring Ryu/Ken and Guile/Chun-Li's investigation into Shadowlaw, they do sometimes cause friction between each-other. It's strange to see so much time spent on Guile's character development, only for him to be casually tossed aside during the climax. Ryu barely has any real development or history with Bison, so giving him the final battle just feels awkward from a narrative standpoint. But remember, I am an outsider looking in here, so fans probably would just go with it.

2.5/4

I actually prefer *Street Fighter Alpha (1999) *over its more popular predecessor, although that doesn't necessarily make it better. I am even less familiar with the Alpha series of games, but apparently they are a reboot of some sort, so this doesn't share any continuity with "Street Fighter II". This is apparently not as faithful as an adaptation, but as I've never played "Street Fighter Alpha", I can't really contribute much to that discussion. I really liked how the animation style often drew influence from horror by making the settings feel more sinister and the character models more unsettling, even to the point where their facial expressions were f@cking terrifying. The darker nature of the story really reflected this, as Ryu is given much more depth here, struggling with his violent side which manifests into an actual super power. "Street Fighter Alpha" is full of cool moments, but the fight scenes are much more suspenseful this time around. Every punch and kick carries consequences that the fighters don't immediately recover from, while their special techniques carry a lot more weight because they aren't just taken for granted. When Ryu performs a Hadoken, you almost dread it because of the destruction it will inevitably leave in its wake. I was genuinely unsure if the characters would survive the finale. The only time "Street Fighter II" ever captured this kind of intensity was when Chun-Li fought Vega, but EVERY fight here is like that.

But this isn't to say that "Street Fighter Alpha" is necessarily a good movie, even judging on a curve.

Even though the story is better from a character perspective, it's a lot more confusing because it somehow relies even more on your understanding of Street Fighter lore. At least in "Street Fighter II", the characters were somewhat iconic and recognizable, but I'm still not sure who certain characters here were supposed to be or what purpose they served in the story. The dialogue is just as bad as it was in "Street Fighter II", but it sticks out more awkwardly in "Street Fighter Alpha" because it's trying to be deep and philosophical. Sakura was already the most annoying part of the movie, but her "Why does he fight?" soliloquizing is just... awful... and reeks of a self importance that makes it even more awful... There was a charm about the badness in "Street Fighter II", but when "Street Fighter Alpha" is bad, it's bad. Furthermore -- Chun-Li was done dirty by this movie. A lot of people hated how Ken no longer seemed like a viable rival to Ryu, but I was under the impression that Ryu's dark hadou was his only real advantage. At least Ken gets some good hits in, while Chun-Li only seems to get in the way in all of her fights. Finally, the villains are pretty lame. I couldn't figure out why at first, as even though their personalities are basic, it wasn't like Bison was much of a character either. Yet he was fun, they were not. I think part of it is Akuma occasionally pops up in the story as a potential antagonist and he completely steals the show from them. "Street Fighter Alpha" stumbles in a lot of ways like that, but I still enjoyed it. I understand why "Street Fighter II" is more popular, but like I said, I think I prefer this one.,

2.5/4  

*Full Moon Scimitar (1979)* is a wuxia from the great Chor Yuen, although it leans more into fantasy than the usual intrigue plotting he's known for. Ping (Derek Yee) is a swordsman whose rise to fame is cut short when he's framed and disgraced by a rival. He attempts suicide, only to find himself in a strange and mystical world where he falls in love with a fox spirit named Qing Qing (). They get married and he inherits her weapon, the strange and powerful scimitar, which they use to avenge his honor. "Full Moon Scimitar" is a lot of things, but predictable it is not. The elaborate vengeance plot takes a turn into crazy town, especially as Pink didn't just gain himself a weapon, he also got himself a wife with f@cking magical abilities and watching her utilize them is awesome. I really liked Qing Qing's character and thought the movie only really started to stumble when she fades into the background in favor of Ping's development. I always struggled buying every decision Ping made, but everything came together pretty well in the end. "Full Moon Scimitar" might be Chor Yuen's most extravagant work though from a visual perspective. The sets are almost expressionistic in their presentation, the lighting is colorful and flashy and reflected off the costumes nicely. The fight scenes are good and the scimitar itself provided a nice contrast to the other weapons, but the art direction was the real victor of "Full Moon Scimitar".

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 7, 2021)

*The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity (2020)* is a Chinese production that blends fantasy with martial arts and a whodunit murder mystery, which is among one of my personal favorite concoctions. I would describe it as a good movie that occasionally reaches greatness, but ultimately falls short of its true potential. It's bizarre how "The Yin-Yang Master" is somehow both derivative and imaginative, as it rather shamelessly rips off "Doctor Strange", yet is also full of unusual visuals and story threads. The special effects are very good, with a lot of detail being put into the vivid environments. The action scenes are really cool, being smoothly choreographed and relying a lot on fantastical techniques that give a lot of variety to the combat styles. I also really enjoyed the characters, who all manage to pop out in spite of the dense storyline. I was sometimes moved by their plights and dilemmas, even though this leads to the the problem I have with the story. The mystery is compelling, but there reaches a point where it becomes so dense with information that I was struggling keeping up with what was going on. The entire final act left me in a state of confusion, although I suspect that this has to do with "The Ying-Yang Master" being adapted from the book. Nevertheless, even if it sort of lost me, I can't say it was ever boring and "The Ying-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity" still satisfied my 'martial arts/ murder cravings'. 

3/4 

*Rendezvous with Death (1980)* has one of the funniest plot descriptions on Amazon Prime: "_This tale of a swordsman's treacherous journey is considered one of director Sun Chang's very best martial arts movies. It's not so much the plot that's great, but what he does with it, inspiring the cast and crew to some of their finest work_". That is a strangely backhanded compliment, considering that there is more plot here than in most martial arts movies. There is a lot of intrigue, reminiscent of the films of Chor Yuen, with plenty of twists and turns. I was sometimes shocked at the dramatic reveals, other times I saw them coming. Some of the twists did leave a bad taste in my mouth, as it felt like "Rendezvous with Death" was surprising us for the sake of surprising us, even if it felt at odds with the story. The cast was fun though and the martial arts showcased a lot of athleticism and style. This is a good one. 

3/4 

*Black Belt Karate (1977)* is an Indonesian and Hong Kong co-production, about a country bumpkin who joins a dojo and becomes an exceptional karate practitioner, provoking hostilities from rival students and other schools. I used to train in karate, so I'm always interested in films which feature my old martial art -- as they're rarely accurate depictions. The choreography is pretty inconsistent, as sometimes it does resemble real karate, other times it's just kung fu being called karate. The tournaments made me feel nostalgic, as they're so authentic that I sometimes wondered if someone was just filming a real tournament, as those fights definitely felt like true karate. I liked how the punches and kicks have a sense of power behind them. Yet they go on for so long that they start to become a little dull, as you're watching a lot of characters whom we have no emotional stakes in. The story itself is pretty terrible, as a lot of the drama occurs off-screen and the main villain -- whom we have spent the entirely movie being groomed to hate -- is dispatched anti-climactically and is replaced by Lo Lieh for the final fight. It's not a bad fight, but we don't know Lo Lieh's character and he has no real beef with our hero, so why were we supposed to care? Nevertheless, even though you also have to contend with a rough DVD transfer, "Black Belt Karate" is so action-packed that its dramatic shortcomings don't sting quite as much. Even though its depiction of karate itself is inconsistent, the choreography is still above average, so can be enjoyed for that.

2.5/4 

*Deathstalker (1983)* is a somewhat notorious entry in the 'sword-and-sandals' genre popularized by "Conan the Barbarian", which now that I think about it, is a more formal way of calling it a rip-off. "Deathstalker" is pretty terrible, but it's also very strange and I consider both 'bad' and 'weird' to be the best recipe for 'so bad, it's good'. I had a fun time mocking this movie for its general incompetence. The cheap production values allow for unconvincing decapitations, blood spurts that were clearly added in post and creature effects that are... almost OK? They fall short of being good, but somehow that made it much funnier. The story makes little sense and the hero is only marginally better than the villains, as he's prone to raping the women he rescues. They try to justify this by having the women give in to his advances eventually, but this nearly lead to one of the most incredible moments of bad movie history.

The titular hero... who is just called "Stalker", as if he needed a name that was just as rapey as his actions... fancies a princess, so the villain uses magic to transform his baboonish, thuggish (male) henchman into a flawless copy of the princess, complete with him shocking alarm at how his genitals are "gone!". The plan is for him to catch Stalker off guard so he can kill him, but it fails and... Stalker attempts to rape him/her... I was thinking to myself that if the henchman 'gives in' like all of the other women, this will automatically be the greatest movie of all time. Unfortunately, the movie chickens out and Stalker doesn't even seem to realize who it was he nearly had sex with, but I was laughing my ass off all the time. "Deathstalker" is trashy and horrible, but it's fun in its own... special... way. I was stunned to learn that this started a f@cking franchise, with three more sequels following this.  I don't plan on doing a franchise marathon, but I think I'll have to check them out eventually.

2/4 


*Mojin: The Lost Legend (2015) *is a Chinese action-adventure surrounding a trio of retired tomb raiders who are drawn back into the business to explore a tomb that might have supernatural properties. This was... OK. There are a lot of special effects and some of them are good and others are dodgy, although I think I took more issue with the story than the CGI. This is apparently an adaptation of a series of novels, so maybe that's why this felt more like a sequel than a first entry, as much of the backstory is taken for granted. I don't understand why they retired or who their 'grand master' was supposed to be, even though he's referenced. There does appear to be some sort of political message going on, but I didn't really get that either, although perhaps that has more to do with the Chinese Government having such tight control over the media. I'm also always baffled how the more relatable character is always upstaged by the traditional hero. I liked Hu Bayi (Chen Kun) fine enough, but it's his sidekick Wang (Huang Bo) who is the most compelling, so I think should've been the actual protagonist. Nevertheless, "Mojin: The Lost Legend" is still quite a bit of fun, but not so much for its spectacle as much as it was the cast. I enjoyed the spirited performances and chemistry amongst the cast. Our trio of characters are funny, bad-ass and can pull out some tears when necessary. I think Shu Qi has become one of my favorite actresses because she often plays characters who should be annoying, yet somehow end up being charming. There are two sequels that apparently aren't as good. I don't know if I want to watch them either, as they rotate out the cast, my personal source of enjoyment. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 20, 2021)

I normally release reviews in clusters of five, but since it's the talk of the internet right now, I thought I'd discuss* Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)*, the project that had been taken out of his hands and heavily modified by Joss Whedon for the 2017 "Justice League" that we all know and... don't love... Regardless of whether the Snydercut is good or bad, at least it does feel like a mostly completed film. The story is a lot more cohesive... although there are some baffling plot holes, like how did Darkseid forget where he left the anti-life weapon? The character development is much more fleshed out, although I can't say this made me like them anymore as they all seemed so uniformly angsty that they might as well have been the same people wearing different skins. I was surprised how good the visual effects were though. I was expecting unfinished CGI, but somehow the theatrical release had all of the embarrassing, possibly incomplete effects work. I really don't like the digital aesthetic or the grim color scheme, which is really unappealing on the 4:3 aspect ratio. Yet outside of a few strange edits and a score that sometimes felt like a place holder, the Snydercut resembles a formal, mostly polished production. The action scenes are pretty good too, although that's a given for Snyder. 

There are some things I like about the Snydercut much more than its theatrical version. Besides the aforementioned presentation improvements, Steppenwolf has a cooler design and more of a "character" -- although this isn't to suggest that he's an especially great villain. He's pretty basic, but he serves his purpose well enough. Darkseid looks pretty cool too, but I wonder if it was wise having his big introduction be... him getting his ass kicked... I also liked how the Snydercut continued the story of the 'Knightmare' that was set up during "Batman Vs Superman". The stinger revisiting this idea was actually quite compelling and made me wish it would get made into a movie. While I think Joss Whedon is generally a more talented storyteller, his style of dialogue did not mesh with Snyder's bleak visual style, so the lame attempts at comedy were mostly removed. But in a bizarre twist of fate, it turns out that some of them came from Snyder's cut after all! It was almost as if Snyder was trying to imitate Whedon before Whedon even came on board!

As much as I hate to say it though, there are some things I preferred about Whedon's version. I found myself missing the scene where Batman tells the Flash how to be a hero ("save someone") and there are a few other interactions I found myself wishing didn't get the axe (but many deserved it!). The beginning was also just way too slow paced. The scene where Steppenwolf fights the Amazons took f@cking forever and relied too much on us caring about characters we have no emotional investment in. Whedon rightfully trimmed that down to a more manageable length and I prefer his take on Superman. I'm still not sure why Snyder decided to make his suit black. It doesn't even look all that cool or stand out amongst all the other dark, washed out colors.  There is also way too much fanservice that wasn't necessary, like Martian Manhunter making a gratuitous appearance. I thought the Snydercut was OK overall, but it was just indulgently long. This should not have gone over the three hour mark, although for what it's worth, the 4+ hours of the Snydercut still entertained me more than the theatrical cut, which was half its length. 

2.5/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Mar 31, 2021)

*Godzilla Vs Kong (2021)* somehow managed to be my anticipated movie for both 2020 and 2021, as this was a cross-over I never expected would happen again until a few years ago. Even though I love King Kong and worship Godzilla, I should warn you that I always found their original battle -- the 1963 "King Kong Vs Godzilla" -- to be somewhat overrated. I think it's cheesy before the Godzilla franchise really refined its cheesiness, but that also might be why everyone else loves it. I have enjoyed this Monsterverse, although the marketing for "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" mislead me into thinking it would going to be a more prestigious picture, as opposed to the campy monster brawl it ultimately was. "Godzilla Vs Kong" had the decency to market itself as the campy monster brawl it also was, although I have to admit that my enjoyment was... somewhat limited? I'll get into why later.

The special effects were really good and even though I'm not the biggest fan of Adam Wingard's works, I must smother him in all the kisses for keeping the action colorful. The settings, whether it's the ocean, skull island, the hollow earth sanctum or Hong Kong are all awash with vibrant colors, which is my favorite kind of eye candy. While I suspect that some fans will complain that the monsters themselves lack any sense of weight with their impossible displays of agility, I didn't mind as "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" had already crossed that line and I think the faster paced fights fit the lighter tone. Speaking of fighting, I thought all the battles between Kong and Godzilla were a lot of fun and I appreciated their contrasting styles of combat. Kong's design is the same as "Skull Island" and it works, but I feel like Godzilla's drop in weight makes him look oddly proportioned in certain shots. As for a specific spoiler...


*Spoiler*: __ 



I generally dug Mechagodzilla, although the story dropped the ball when explaining how it became sentient. I think the implication was that Ghidorah had taken control over it, but it's glanced over.




As for the story and characters, "Godzilla Vs Kong" is arguably the worst of the monsterverse, although this isn't necessarily a cut and dry statement. I could hardly give a shit about anyone, but it's not like the movie itself seemed particularly interested in them either. They all exist to serve a specific plot development or exposition, but I often wondered why some of them couldn't have been consolidated into each-other. "King of the Monsters" was messier with its human cast, but there was a token effort to make us care about them, for better or worse. The story is so undercooked that certain twists don't make a lot of sense and I suspect a lot of it ended up on the cutting room floor. With that said, that wasn't my problem with it.

"Godzilla Vs Kong" might be fun, but I was expecting something a little more... epic... There are no real stakes until the very end, as Kong and Godzilla are literally only fighting because they both want to be alphas. The humans have some silly storyline involving Kong leading them to the hollow earth, but conflict between the monsters is strangely superfluous to the narrative. In the original movie, Godzilla is a global threat and humanity manipulates Kong into fighting him for their own salvation. But on another level, Kong is portrayed as past his prime and is no match for Godzilla, so has to rekindle the fire that made him King in the first place. It was like a wrestling storyline, but it added some drama to the fight. Godzilla and Kong simply engaging in a dick measuring contest might make for some fun battles, but you really don't feel like one defeating the other will have any serious consequences.

So in the end, you have to decide if superficial entertainment is enough to satisfy your cinematic cravings. If so, "Godzilla Vs Kong" is a fast paced, visually appealing actioner with plenty of cool monsters engaging in cool action scenes.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2021)

I've been meaning to revisit Akira Kurosawa's *The Seven Samurai (1954)* for quite some time now, but the four hour long running-time kept scaring me off -- after all, SOMEONE has to watch "Carnosaur" on a daily basis and it sure as hell probably won't be you. Yet even as someone who's wary of overly long movies, I've always held "The Seven Samurai" in high regard. It truly is a masterpiece that transcends genre and settles into being one of the best movies of all time. The plot might seem simple, but there's plenty of nuance that's often even lost on stories that would go on to refine the "seven heroes unite to save villagers from bandits" formula that this began. Each of the seven are very interesting, although there are obviously a few who stand out amongst the rest. I loved how Toshirô Mifune's character has the mannerisms of a stray dog, which would gradually become the type of characterization he would be known for. The peasants are also interesting though and I liked how they aren't portrayed as innocent or weak. 

This is very much an epic. The first half doesn't have a lot of action, yet it's never boring because the characters are compelling and it's fun watching them interact and form strategies to prepare for the upcoming battle. Once it happens, it's chaotic yet beautifully choreographed. I also love how everyone has their own distinct way of fighting. There are so many iconic, stunning visuals that really makes you appreciate how masterful of filmmakers that Kurosawa and his team really were. "The Seven Samurai" is always going to be in danger of feeling a little dated because it was so influential, but I still think it's incredible.

4/4

*Godzilla Vs Megalon (1973)* was the dubious 'honor' of being the film that would define Godzilla's public image in the United States -- namely that the movies were cheap and cheesy. This obviously wasn't the first entry to be released in the west, nor even the first financially successful one, but it had a pretty big marketing campaign for the time, drew in a large audience on television and the VHS print somehow fell into public domain, making it easily accessible. So if you want to know why Godzilla is often regarded as such a joke by Americans, just watch "Godzilla Vs Megalon" and prepare to laugh. The action scenes are very remniscent of "Power Rangers", although it should be noted that both technically belong in the same genre. Nevertheless, it's funny watching the monsters strike dramatic posses and use wrestling maneuvers, such as Godzilla's infamous running drop kick. 

The special effects are among the worst in the franchise, to where they'd have to lift stock footage from other movies, even though the setting and lighting is completely different, but I have to confess I'm strangely fond of the monster suits themselves. Godzilla's design is often derided as being too kid friendly, but it reflects the tone of the picture, so I was fine with it. I used to think Megalon was lame, but he's really grown on me. The cockroach aesthetic is pretty gross, but the drill hands are cool and his hopping and manic behaviors were amusing. I do love how the monsters are treated as characters, not just visual effects. Gigan continues to develop his own reputation as the coolest monster to appear in the worst Godzilla movies. I'm not crazy about Jet Jaguar, but it's so ridiculous watching him interact with Godzilla that he contributes to the film's charm. Plus, you have to love that theme song at the end. "Godzilla Vs Megalon" is terrible, but it's amusingly terrible and I sort of grew up with it, so I can't bring myself to hate on the movie. 

2/4 

*Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice (1972)* is easily one of the more exploitative and trashy samurai flicks out there, that somehow manages to feel even more exploitative and trashy because of how artfully produced it was! Hanzo (Shintaro Katsu) is a roguish constable who rebels against his superiors and will use any technique necessary to bring about justice... which includes blackmail, planting evidence and... er... rape... But the women start to enjoy it after awhile, so I guess it's okay? To say that "Hanzo the Razor" is problematic is an understatement, so this is obviously not going to be for everyone. I myself occasionally took enough offense that I would start to root for the villains. It's amazing how Hanzo has the audacity to call out his superiors, when his own behavior is pretty appalling. But in the end, I accepted that Japan was f@cking weird during the 1970's and this kind of stuff was apparently marketable.

If you can take away the sleazier elements though, "Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice" is very stylish, showcasing flashy lighting, framing and editing, with lots of imagineative direction. There are visuals that are shown through the perspective of... *ahem*... male genitalia... during sex... I never thought I would see that, so that's something. Kenji Misumi was an interesting director, as his movies would alternate between Avant-garde experimentation and traditionally steady handed to the point of being old fashioned (usually in a good way), with this leaning on the former. The score seems to be drawing inspiration from blaxploitation, because why not? Hanzo isn't always easy to like, but Shintaro Katsu turns in an intense and charismatic performance that is the anti-thesis to his iconic Zatoichi portrayal. The action scenes are generally bloody and thrilling, but was it just me or did the story just deflate near the ending? The big reveal left me wondering "Huh?", being the type of subversiveness that is just as clever as it is... unsatisfying... "Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice" is very good from a technical standpoint, but a little sloppy from a storytelling standpoint, although I'm sure its... racy (or rapey) content... is likely going to upstage both its strengths and its weaknesses, for better or worse.

2.5/4 

*Hanzo the Razor: The Snare (1972)* is generally regarded to the best of the trilogy, but I thought it was mostly more of the same, for better or worse. Hanzo is still a vile rapist, even though the story keeps framing him as the hero. He's even more depraved this time around, straight up torturing a Priestess before violating her and he even rapes a woman not because she's a suspect or a conspirator -- but because he makes her uncomfortable! Bizarrely, "The Snare" attempts to humanize him and it almost works thanks to Shintaro Katsu's exceptional performance. He has a few introspective moments and I loved how bewildered he is at the crazy witch who performs abortions. Hanzo also does have the occasional, genuinely heroic moment that is really inspiring, but every time I start to like the guy, he'll go back to behaving like a f@cking villain. 

Yasuzô Masumura's direction is less flashy and experimental than Kenji Misumi's was for the first film. The cinematography, nor the editing really stood out, although I only bring this up in relation to "Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice", which really popped out from a technical perspective. "Hanzo the Razor: The Snare" is still very well made and also boasts better pacing and more thrilling action sequences. The story is a muddled mess, but the ending was a lot more satisfying, but once again... the rapey content still upstages both its strengths and its weaknesses.  

2.5/4

*Hanzo the Razor: Who's Got the Gold (1974) *is the most light hearted entry of the trilogy, albeit less for "Hanzo no longer rapes people and calls it justice" reasons and more... "Hanzo rapes fewer people and cracks jokes" reasons... The formula had grown stale by this point and "Who's Got the Gold" does feel somewhat phoned in. The style and technical finesse that elevated the first two movies is lacking, although the storyline remains just as messy. With that said... this might be my personal favorite entry just because it is surprisingly funny. The sexual assaults are played for... er... comedic effect, but maybe maybe it's just become so self aware in its absurdity that the rapes don't feel quite as sleazy, or maybe I've just grown really numb to it all. But I found the mugging, the quips, the sight gags and Shintaro Katsu's timing to all just be disarmingly amusing -- even if this is still technically the weakest entry in the saga.

2.5/4

Reactions: Like 2


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## MartialHorror (Apr 23, 2021)

*Mortal Kombat (2021)* is one of those movies where you can sum it up as 'eh, it had its moments'. I played the games a bit back when they were first coming out on the arcade and watched the live-action movies... and some really shitty OVA that was released at the same time... but I wouldn't necessarily categorize myself as a 'fan', because I don't know the overarching story. I can't tell you how faithful this is as an adaptation, although the story plays out more like a prequel to the video games, with whom I believe is an original character serving as the lead. When I say the movie has its moments, I mean that it has some really f@cking cool moments. The best parts usually surround the powers that the characters display... and the gore that comes with it... Sub Zero probably had the best highlights, with a lot of creative use of his powers. I also found myself liking Kabal, Kano and Kung Lao, although everyone else has their moment to be bad-ass. The choreography is good, but it is constantly locked in battle with overly tightened editing.

I nevertheless found myself preferring the 1990's "Mortal Kombat", even with its cheesier tone, dated effects and PG-13 rating. It just had a more structured narrative with more fun characters. The story for the 2021 adaptation is pretty non-existent, as it just assumes you know the lore without easing you into it... and also seems more interested in setting up the sequel than telling its own tale. The characters have a lot of bad-ass moments, but they're also surprisingly boring. I don't know why they needed Cole, as unless he was in the games, he was pretty dull and could've easily been switched out with someone else. But it's not like the video game characters showed a lot of personality either. The actors are good, but the tone demands that most of them play their roles too straight. This would be jarring when they would say something cheesy from the games, like Scorpion's "Get Over Here!". I also thought the general aesthetic was a little flat compared to the 1990's film, which boasted sets that were more visually appealing.

I wouldn't say I was bored with Mortal Kombat (2021), but I was only entertained in parts. Perhaps the video game purists will appreciate it a lot more though. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2021)

Even though these movies don't really quality as either horror or martial arts, they have enough of a connection to both genres that I thought I would just talk about them a bit. I've been on a bit of a Kaiju-a-thon lately. 

*Godzilla's Revenge (1969)* is almost universally regarded as the worst Godzilla movie ever made, but I am going to be its lone defender... while also conceding that it is indeed the worst Godzilla movie ever made... I mean, the budget was so f@cking low that the effects team had to rely mostly on stock footage of previous sequels -- that weren't even the most highly regarded entries within the franchise themselves. It's pretty bizarre watching Godzilla's appearance drastically change from scene to scene, as different suits were used in "Godzilla Vs the Sea Monster" and "Son of Godzilla", with the "Destroy All Monsters" design being dusted off for the (limited) new footage. Nevertheless, Godzilla still looks OK when grading on a curve, but... holy f@ck, who thought Minya talking was a good idea? The soulless eyes were terrifying enough, but the way its jaw moves whenever it would speak in English (or Japanese)... mixed in with his highly annoying monster grunts... makes him truly the most frightening beast in all of Kaiju-dom. Gabara is not a fondly remembered monster himself, but I thought he served his purpose well enough. The story is... well... different, as it's really a coming-of-age story surrounding a young boy name Ichiro, whose active imagination can put him on monster island. It's never clear if Godzilla really exists in this continuity or if he's meant to be a fictional creation, although the latter could give some justification for the stock footage -- if only within the context of the storu. Unfortunately, Ichiro is just strange and annoying and I'm convinced he will grow up to be a serial killer. 

"Godzilla's Revenge" certainly sucks, but it was also the second Godzilla movie I ever watched, following... "Godzilla 1985"... and yes, I regret not remembering how I would've felt about experiencing one of the cheapest, cheesiest entries after one of the darker, bigger budgeted entries. I do remember getting this for Christmas though. My parents had one of those larger Godzilla toys standing upright, carrying the VHS copy of "Godzilla's Revenge" that I still have to this day. So even if "Godzilla's Revenge" is bad, I have a little bit of a nostalgic attachment to it. Sometimes... I'm even fond of the movie... 

Just not this time...

1.5/4

*Godzilla Vs Gigan (1972) *was pretty disappointing, but to be fair, I remember being disappointed by this before. I've noticed that as an adult, my favorite Godzilla films of the 'Showa Era' (the original series) were the ones I had the most exposure to. For the entries I only saw sporadically, such as "Destroy All Monsters" or "King Kong Vs Godzilla", I would like them at the time... but they don't hold up very well when I revisit them years later. I thought "Godzilla Vs Gigan" was awesome when I first saw it, but I checked it out maybe 10 years ago and found it to be kind of dull. Now I find it to be really dull. I will say this... the human characters are moderately entertaining. But the story they participate in moves at a very slow pace, with very little monster action until the climax

Unfortunately, once the Kaiju brawl begins, it's pretty sluggish and incomprehensible. While not as dependent on stock footage as "Godzilla's Revenge", it still uses just enough to kill any sense of continuity, as it will alternate rapidly between day and night and Godzilla's suit changes. There are a lot of close-ups in the dark, which is shrouded in smoke and the monsters spend half of the fight trash talking or posturing. The Godzilla suit is literally falling apart in some shots and Ghidorah was in such disrepair that they had to use a f@cking toy model for half of his flying scenes -- and stock footage for the rest. "Godzilla Vs Gigan" did introduce Gigan though, who would become one of the more popular monsters of the franchise. He does have a cool design and boasts the honor of being the first to make Godzilla bleed. I've also always been fond of Anguirus, even if he is pretty useless here and his mouth doesn't move when he roars. He looks adorable though and his friendship moments with Godzilla somehow still warm my heart. "Godzilla Vs Gigan" is pretty bad, but it does have enough memorable moments to be worth watching if you're a Godzilla fan. The villains are cockroach people, Godzilla and Anguirus exchange words... in english (!!!), Akira Ifukube turns in a stellar score and Gigan's buzzsaw makes for some grisly violence. But I was still drifting off much more than I should have been.

1.5/4 

*The War of the Gargantuas (1966) *is a pretty stellar kaiju flick from the filmmakers behind the Godzilla franchise, although this is a sequel to their lesser known "Frankenstein Conquers the World". I don't know if I've seen that one all the way through, but it features Baragon, who would later on appear in a Godzilla flick, so... I guess this is sort of a Godzilla movie too? There are multiple cuts of the film, one referencing the events of its predecessor and one functioning as a standalone story. Two monsters appear in Japan and one has developed a taste for human flesh, while the other is more protective of humanity. What makes "The War of the Gargantuas" unique is that the monsters are brothers, so don't really want to fight in spite of their differences, but are inevitably going to be drawn in battle. The designs are simple, yet effective. Gaira (the evil one) is pretty grotesque and menacing, while Sanda (the good one) is emotive and sympathetic. They might be gigantic, but they don't really tower over the cities like their contemporaries did. This allows for more details in the miniatures and they move a lot faster, adding a different kind of energy for the fights. It's just too bad that the story relies so much on the presence of Russ Tamblyn, who looks both bored and embarrassed. The character is way too casual amidst all of the carnage, drastically limiting the tension. "The War of the Gargantuas" is still pretty good though and deserves more attention than it gets.

3/4 

*Rebirth of Mothra (1996)* was part of a trilogy that entered development in response to the box office success of "Godzilla and Mothra: Battle for Earth" and the "Gamera" revival, but this will be my first time watching any of them. I never even knew if their existence in the 1990's, as the heisei series of Godzilla flicks were difficult to come by at that time and... I always thought Mothra was just too girly... Despite Mothra's previous appearance (I think in "Godzilla Vs Space Godzilla"?) suggesting she was about to embark on another adventure, "Rebirth of Mothra" is a complete reboot... and it's very much for kids... There is a lot of broad comedy designed for the little ones, while the visual effects are both bad and energetic. There is a lot of weird stuff, like the iconic fairies riding a little Mothra into battle against an evil fairy and her little, robotic dragon. The production values step up considerably when Desghidorah (a black, four legged Ghidorah) arrives on the scene and is f@cking awesome. This might be my favorite Ghidorah design and the effects used to bring it to life are great. There are two Mothras, the traditional version and her son Leo, who I think looks pretty bad-ass for a moth. With that said, the larvae form really liked a giant turd to me.

 The problem with "Rebirth of Mothra" isn't the cheesiness though, but it's REALLY badly paced. I was initially pleased with how quickly Desghidorah and Mothra start their battle and there's some cool interactions with them (and little Leo) that required elaborate staging, but it seems like it goes on forever. This was also sort of a problem with the Godzilla movies at the time, as suits were so much more sophisticated with the animatronics that they couldn't do much with them, so the battles amounted to glorified light shows. But "Rebirth of Mothra" drags on and climaxes prematurely. I actually thought the movie had reached its conclusion... 30 minutes before it actually did... There are also three different musical numbers, which certainly did not help the pacing one bit. So yeah, "Rebirth of Mothra" isn't great, I'm sure kids will appreciate it more than I did. I know that I would've loved Desghidorah and even Mothra Leo, had I seen this back in 1996.

2/4 

*Rebirth of Mothra II (1997)* is one of those special movies that somehow both bores and annoys me at once. I do have to emphasize that this sequel was clearly designed for young children, as its predecessor was, so I'm already at a disadvantage. The story is conceptually interesting, as some kids find themselves going on a tomb raiding adventure in order to stop -- er, assisting Mothra Leo in stopping -- a monster called Dagahra. This sounds cool, but the problem is that the production cannot afford to do a convincing temple setting, so relies mostly on bad composite shots and worse digital backgrounds. The miniature works were generally good though, with the temple exterior easily being the most triumphant effect. I just wish there was more of a variety to them. Dagahra has a stellar design, but it's somehow even more immobile than Desghidorah and yet lacks its menacing presence. His fight with Mothra Leo is SOOOOO boring, with most of it being one chasing the other while firing laser beams (and it takes forever), or Mothra is incapacitated and Dagahra fires more laser beams at him (and it also takes forever). Mothra Leo gets a new transformation and I didn't care for it, although I appreciate the attempt at trying something new. The comedy is still annoying, but I might've been able to find it funny at a young enough age, so I'm trying not to hold it against the movie too much. The ending finally gets weird enough to be interesting, but by then, I was already struggling to remain awake. "Rebirth of Mothra II" was just a miserable experience for me, albeit one I probably would've enjoyed as a kid.

1/4


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## dr_shadow (Apr 29, 2021)

@MartialHorror 

Have you seen the 1998 TV adaptation of _The Water Margin_? I'm eight episodes in and it's pretty good. The fight choreography is much better than in the 1994 _Romance of the Three Kingdoms_ adaptation, which I think might have something to do with Hong Kong having returned to Chinese rule the year before (and all HK action directors hence becoming Chinese citizens).


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## MartialHorror (Apr 29, 2021)

dr_shadow said:


> @MartialHorror
> 
> Have you seen the 1998 TV adaptation of _The Water Margin_? I'm eight episodes in and it's pretty good. The fight choreography is much better than in the 1994 _Romance of the Three Kingdoms_ adaptation, which I think might have something to do with Hong Kong having returned to Chinese rule the year before (and all HK action directors hence becoming Chinese citizens).



No. I'm not really familiar with Chinese television. I think the only series I've seen was that awful "Master Swordsman", although I don't know if that was mainland or Hong Kong.


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## BlueDemon (Apr 30, 2021)

dr_shadow said:


> which I think might have something to do with Hong Kong having returned to Chinese rule the year before (and all HK action directors hence becoming Chinese citizens).


How would that magically make the choreography better?


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## dr_shadow (Apr 30, 2021)

BlueDemon said:


> How would that magically make the choreography better?



The aesthetic that we associate with "kung fu films" is not originally pan-Chinese, but is specifically Hongkongese and had its greatest flourishing in the 1980s, when HK was still under British rule.

Mainland Chinese cinema, on the other hand, is originally based on the style and conventions of Soviet cinema, and showing movies from "capitalist" countries was actually illegal until as recently as 1994.

Hence the people who designed the battle and action sequences of Romance of the Three Kingdoms (1994) would, presumably, have been drawing mostly on the visual language of films like War and Peace (1966).

But after the 1997 reunification it would have become politically acceptable to bring in consultants from Hong Kong to teach the mainlanders how to shoot Bruce Lee-style fight scenes for The Water Margin (1998).

Reactions: Informative 2


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## MartialHorror (May 10, 2021)

*Monster Hunter (2020)* was surprisingly boring for a Paul W.S Anderson movie where Milla Jovovich and Tony Jaa fight giant monsters... with big f@cking swords too... I think a lot of people will automatically blame the weak story and characters, but I think the real problem is that "Monster Hunter" is awkwardly proportioned. It spends too much time in the beginning on characters who amount to nothing because most of them won't survive beyond the third act, when that time would've been better served setting up the fire forged bond between Artemis (Jovovich) and the Hunter (Jaa)... or at least give us enough characterization to where their overly drawn out (and choppily edited) fight makes some sense. But even though I gradually warmed up to them, their dynamic falls apart once new characters are introduced -- shortly before the finale. "Monster Hunter" also was a little too action packed during its first 30 minutes or so, making the subsequent attempts at world building feel much slower than it probably was. The narrative moves too fast when it needed to pace itself... and then is sluggish when it needed to be brisk. The acting and dialogue are sometimes pretty bad, although it's not like we watch this kind of crap for such things. 

But is the monster action at least fun? It is... in parts... The designs of the creatures were pretty interesting and the CGI was usually good -- although it's terrible when it's not. The editing is a little too tight and the camerawork was too shaky for my tastes, but Paul W.S Anderson has an eye for cool visuals, so "Monster Hunter" certainly has its moments. Nevertheless, it also runs out of gas well before reaching the finish line, so I can't say I really enjoyed myself. I have no idea where this is a faithful adaptation to the games, but I'd only personally recommend it if you like the later "Resident Evil" movies, as they're cut from the same cloth. 

1.5/4 


*Rush Hour (1998)* is not the best showcasing of Jackie Chan's work, but it was the first time a Hollywood production would accurately showcase his style to the world. It's easy to forget how big of a deal the "Rush Hour" property was at the time, with this being the west's first real exposure to Jackie. I myself was already a fan by this point, as I had seen "Rumble in the Bronx", "First Strike" and "Drunken Master II", but it was a thrill to see him in a Hollywood film all the same and everything about "Rush Hour" catered to the sensibilities of a 12 year old boy. I loved it at the time and defended it against Jackie Chan purists who constantly had to rub it in that his Hong Kong movies were better. I saw "Rush Hour" as more of a comedy, so didn't mind that the choreography is nowhere near on par with Jackie's previous works and the stunts were still fun, albeit safe compared to what fans would've been used to seeing from him. Nevertheless, I had a lot of friends whose minds were blown by his speed and death defying feats of madness, as they had nothing to compare it to. Even now, I think "Rush Hour" is a better time for those who are mostly inexperienced in the ways of the Jackie... or people who find Chris Tucker funny... because "Rush Hour" was designed primarily to introduce Jackie Chan to a wider audience. It wasn't really trying to impress his built-in fanbase. I think it accomplished its goals with flying colors. 

But has it aged well?

I've already talked about the fights and the stunts, which... yeah, I can definitely now tell are below par with what Jackie was doing and had done at the time... but I do think "Rush Hour" moves at a brisk enough pace that it didn't really matter. There's a good balance of comedy and thrills and both Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker have chemistry. It is strange seeing Chan more-or-less play the straight role, but he does it well and I'm glad we got to see his comedic timing utilized in a different way. Chris Tucker has always been divisive. I thought he was funny back then, but now? It's complicated. You can certainly recognize his charisma and his rapid fire style is impressive to behold, as I don't think I've ever heard someone deliver that many lines within one breath. But a lot of the humor is... awkward in 2021... Tucker's character is prone to saying racist and sexist things, while engaging in casual sexual harassment. I can normally dismiss this kind of stuff as "it was a different time", but it seemed like 75% of his dialogue was 'problematic' now. I'd still champion "Rush Hour" as fun, but there are definitely caveats that need to be considered.  

3/4

*Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020)* is an animated adaptation of the popular video game, focusing more on the perspective of Scorpion as he seeks vengeance against Sub Zero during the fateful tournament. The movie is a little too short and underdeveloped, especially once the traditional protagonists start taking the center stage, but this a pretty good little bloodbath. The animation quality is distinct and fluid, without being too polished and the fights are style and exceptionally gory. This is yet another entry within the franchise that's more for purists than anyone else, but I still enjoyed myself.

3/4  

*Royal Tramp (1992) *is another Stephen Chow vehicle from the same time period as "A Chinese Odyssey", "Forbidden City Cop" and "Justice, my Foot!" -- and it's also a period piece that blends genres together (in this case, wuxia and comedy). The plot is a little tricky, as it surrounds a lot of different characters conspiring against each-other, with Chow's Wai Siu-Bo (Wilson Bond in the dubbed version) being the clumsy, cowardly and yet resourceful schmuck caught between them. It did take awhile for me to really catch on with what was going on, which isn't helped by the story sometimes feeling like it was being woven around the gags. The comedy is very broad and as with similar cases, is very hit or miss. Sometimes it was too juvenile for my tastes, but other times... it was just juvenile enough for my tastes. There are a few awkward gags that have not aged well, but there are also some brilliantly timed ones as well. The choreography is often special effect based and it becomes pretty imaginative during the finale. I was also taken aback by how gory it was... and how the violence was somehow hilarious (you could say, side splitting? Har Har). Like a lot of Stephen Chow's works during the 1990's, "Royal Tramp" will probably polarize western audiences, but I really dug its high energy.

3/4 

I remember seeing *Cradle 2 to the Grave (2003)* in theaters, but my only memories of it were that I somehow was able to purchase a ticket despite not being 18 yet and being thoroughly underwhelmed, even though I was a huge Jet Li mark. This might've been because "Cradle 2 the Grave" is more of a heist caper with some kung fu than a martial arts film and functions more as a starring vehicle for rapper DMX (RIP) than Jet Li. It also might just be because the movie is mostly mediocre. Li's character often felt kind of unnecessary and his contributions to the overarching story are minimal, outside of providing the fight scenes (which are just OK). I wonder if he wasn't originally in the script, but when the creators behind "Exit Wounds" and "Romeo Must Die" got involved, they added him to make the project more marketable. 

There's little I would describe as bad, outside of maybe Jet Li rushing through some exposition to explain his relationship with the villain (played by Mark Dacascos). The comedic relief never seemed to work for me either, with both Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson getting on my nerves. I might've been disappointed that Li is often pushed aside for DMX, but I did think DMX was pretty good. He made for a charismatic lead and the soundtrack he mostly provided was pretty kick-ass. Jet Li gets to show off some moves and his fight with Mark Dacascos boasted stellar choreography, although it lost a lot of its impact because it's intercut with two inferior fights. "Cradle 2 the Grave" at least moves pretty quickly and there are a variety of stunts, with a fun brawl between Jet Li and a group of MMA fighters. I guess this was serviceable enough, although "Romeo Must Die" and "Exit Wounds" are better.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 27, 2021)

I was in High School when *Rush Hour 2 (2001)* was released and it caught fire amongst my demographic, with seemingly everyone I'd encounter quoting at least one line -- but probably two or three. Or seven. I thought it was hilarious and... I still think it's pretty hilarious. Carter (Chris Tucker) and Lee (Jackie Chan) return, but this time have to solve a case in Hong Kong. Carter is still very problematic, with all of his casual sexual harassment and racist comments... and even worse, he's starting to rub off on Lee. He's also much more of an idiot than before, for the sake of comedy, but do you know what? Christ Tucker's humor landed a lot more this time around. He does sometimes get a bit too broad in his delivery, but he also has so many great reactions and quotable lines. There is also a lot more fight scenes and stuntwork, so Jackie Chan gets to showcase more of his skills than he was able to in the first movie. The choreography is obviously not going to be as cutting edge compared to his Hong Kong work, but it's still pretty damn fluid and blends in nicely with the comedy and stunts. The plot isn't really worth much, but my only real disappointment is that Jackie Chan never gets to fight Zhang Ziyi, who was hot off of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". She instead is pit against Chris Tucker and while this provided some funny moments, it did seem like a wasted opportunity. I still had a blast with "Rush Hour 2" though, warts and all.

3.5/4 

*Rush Hour 3 (2007)* waited too long to really strike when the iron was hot after the success of "Rush Hour 2", but didn't take long enough to earn its attempts to play off nostalgia. This was actually kind of depressing to watch, because it really feels like a contractual obligation that no one really wanted to be apart of. The story goes through all the same beats as its predecessors, including plot twists, one that "Rush Hour 2" had previously mocked.  A lot of the gags are recycled and even the action seemed designed around paying homage to the first two films. But even worse, neither Jackie Chan or Chris Tucker seem all that invested, with their chemistry lacking the spark that made them such a memorable pair to begin with. I've heard that Chris Tucker has cleaned up his comedic routine since becoming a born again Christian, so he might've been uncomfortable with the problematic material he was given... and holy f@ck, Carter sucks in this movie. The humor surrounding him just exaggerates his negative qualities, so he now racially profiles and coerces "dates" from women under his authority. Lee is also given more raunchier content and it's just weird... and obvious that Jackie Chan has absolutely no idea what's coming out of his mouth -- confirmed by the outtakes.

I wouldn't say "Rush Hour 3" is bad. The sword fight between Jackie Chan and Hiroyuki Sanada showcased some stellar choreography and there is a good car chase, but the movie never really rises above being serviceable. If there is a "Rush Hour 4", I hope those involved actually want to make the movie. I personally doubt it, as Jackie Chan has made his dislike of these films too public, Chris Tucker has sort of vanished from the Hollywood scene and director Brett Ratner has been disgraced for the moment.  I would be curious how they would present Carter in this more politically correct climate though.

2/4 

*Destroy All Monsters (1968)* is considered to be the end of the golden age of Toho Kaiju flicks, as subsequent entries would have to deal with budget cuts and dwindling returns. If "Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster" boasted the biggest kaiju cross-over event ever at the time, with Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra sharing the screen together... "Destroy all Monsters" adds Anguirus, Manda, Gorosaurus, Kumonga, Minya, Baragon and Varan to the line-up, with King Ghidorah also making a "triumphant" return. I remember finding this to be pretty boring as a kid, as this movie makes you wait until the finale to get to the monster mash. But as an adult, I've really grown to appreciate "Destroy All Monsters".

The special effects are great, boasting some of the most elaborately staged and ambitious set pieces to appear throughout the franchise. We actually get to see three monsters wrecking havoc throughout different parts of the city,  in the same shot. That had to have been incredible difficult to film. The effects team also found some creative ways to showcase the miniatures, making them seem bigger and more realistic than they obviously were. The green screen work was often seamless and Akira Ifukube's score is among his best. 

The story is obviously not without problems. The Kilaaks', the invading aliens of the week, are somewhat difficult to understand. They don't seem to want to destroy or even conquer humanity as much as they just want a place to stay, but instead of asking... they send the monsters to attack... and then are confused when humanity refuses to engage in peace talks. They then think Earth's monsters wouldn't stand a chance against King Ghidorah, even though Godzilla and Rodan alone were able to drive him away before... The final brawl is funny because it's epic, yet strangely one sided. I didn't mind this, as it was gratifying watching everyone beat the shit out of Ghidorah, but I did mind the actual final battle between a... spaceship and a UFO... It just kind of seemed anti-climactic, but "Destroy all Monsters" was definitely not the bore I remember it being. I thought it was a lot of fun!

3/4 

I didn't "get" *Black Dynamite (2007)* when I first saw it upon release. I felt like it was a parody without the jokes, but to be fair, I was not very familiar with blaxsploitation. I think I had only really seen the "Shaft" movies at that point, so all of the references, homages, in-jokes, etc. completely went over my head. But now my repertoire has expanded... to include "Dolemite" and "Blacula"... so do I "get" it now? Mostly, yes. "Dolemite" was clearly a huge inspiration, but I also found myself tickled by a lot of the details I did not pick up on before, like the boom mike making a cameo or an "actor" misinterpreting parentheticals in a script (very meta). I loved how the music would sometimes have on-the-nose lyrics about what Black Dynamite is thinking and I was especially tickled by the varying levels of intentional bad acting. The dialogue has a strange wit to it and Michael Jai White throws himself into the titular role with charisma and enthusiasm... and deliberately stilted delivery... and of course, kung fu. I do still feel like I would've had a better time if I was more familiar with the genre, but I can definitely see the appeal.

3/4 
*
Royal Tramp II (1992)* continues the bizarre journey of  Wai Siu-Bo, who is once again forced to navigate through a bunch of conspiracies and... I'm not going to lie, I had absolutely no idea what was going on this time around. Some characters return, but serve different functions while a lot of new characters are brought in -- although they usually just exist for the sake of some sight gags. The comedy is still very hit-or-miss, being juvenile, broad and debatably offensive by todays standards, but "Royal Tramp II" is nothing if not energetic. The cast commits to the bizarre material and the action scenes are still pretty good, albeit less memorable than its predecessor. I would say that if you like the first one, you'll probably like this one too -- just not as much. It would probably be a good idea to watch this one immediately after the first though, so you'll have a better chance of keeping up with who is who. 

2.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (May 28, 2021)

Black Dynamite's an absolute masterpiece. I highly recommend you check out the animated series as well. It's top notch!


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## MartialHorror (May 28, 2021)

Uncle Acid said:


> Black Dynamite's an absolute masterpiece. I highly recommend you check out the animated series as well. It's top notch!


I think I did... although I don't know if I completed it. I do remember the stuff with Elvis and him encountering two James Bonds.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2021)

*Black Widow (2021) *is another solid, albeit underwhelming entry in the long-running 'Marvel Cinematic Universe' saga, set between "Captain America: Civil War" and "Avengers: Infinity War", surrounding Scarlett Johansson's Natasha Romanoff -- who has finally gotten her own film. I'm not sure why they really had to release this out of order, as I feel like this is just going to confuse the continuity, but with all of the mini-series' and such being released these days, that is probably going to be an issue anyway. I should warn all readers that I'm not especially partial towards the Black Widow herself. I think she plays off of the other Avengers very well, but as a character I think she's been inconsistently written and I hate -- HATE -- that she can somehow go toe to toe with super powered people without receiving any real damage. I'm all for female empowerment, but I hate it when filmmakers are afraid to really put the female characters through the same grinders as their male counterparts. When Captain America gets beaten up, his face is going to be a swollen mess. When Black Widow gets beaten up, she gets a trickle of blood.  This is because... for all the talks about female empowerment, the end goal with the female super heroes is to keep them looking pretty. At least with Captain Marvel, it makes sense, as she's supposed to be the strongest being in the universe. With Black Widow, it just always takes me out of the story.

"Black Widow" doesn't really fix this issue, but maybe because the whole story is clearly meant to evoke the 'Me Too' moment, I was able to look past it and just accept Natasha's seeming invulnerability as a form of catharsis. It didn't really bother me, but I did find myself sort of feeling like "Black Widow" was a wasted opportunity. I think it would've been more interesting if it was more of a spy thriller, but it really is just another superhero movie, for better or worse. The special effects are up to standard and the action scenes are usually good, if a little bit jittery at times. I enjoyed all of the humorous banter, even though others have argued that it took away from the drama. I didn't mind it at all and I laughed almost every time the movie asked me laugh. For all of my issues with the character of Natasha, I do think Johansson is an exceptional actress who has chemistry with everyone she encounters. The real MVP for "Black Widow" though is Yelena (Florence Pugh), who I thought had the funniest moments, but also was just the most compelling character. I enjoyed watching both Alexei (David Harbour) and Melina (Rachael Weisz) and their chemistry, but I don't think their characters were really necessary to the story. If anything, they took away from Natasha herself and considering the film is named after her, Natasha often still feels like a supporting character. In fact, her surrogate families all had more inspiring character arcs than her. 

The biggest fault of "Black Widow" is easily the Taskmaster, who has an awesome looking design, but sucks as a character. Many have made comparisons to "Iron Man 3" with the twist, but I don't think that's accurate. There is a twist, but it's not any kind of subversion of expectations. Taskmaster was just a boring character whose reminiscent of previous, more compelling, MCU antagonists. Ray Winstone plays the other villain and is a lot more interesting, just because he's so easy to hate. Taskmaster is really just a glorified heavy and I'm not really sure why they called the character 'Taskmaster' anyway. But "Black Widow" is still fun enough if you like these MCU entries. I thought it was mostly serviceable, but it is working a formula that I'm beginning to lose interest in.

2.5/4


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## wibisana (Jul 14, 2021)

watched these reviews videos makes me want to watch all James bond movies but when I finished downloaded those movie i lost my appetite lol.

it just weird to watch something from different era that is "dated"/not something that timeless like Alien, Pedators, Starwars. 

some old movies just too weird for me to watch

the movie isnt even that old lol.  it was license to kill


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## MartialHorror (Jul 15, 2021)

wibisana said:


> watched these reviews videos makes me want to watch all James bond movies but when I finished downloaded those movie i lost my appetite lol.
> 
> it just weird to watch something from different era that is "dated"/not something that timeless like Alien, Pedators, Starwars.
> 
> ...



I think that's part of the charm. There aren't too many long running film franchises that have been apart of every generation for like... 60 years? It's almost like they all serve as time capsules for their era.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Jul 19, 2021)

*Rurouni Kenshin: The Final (2021) *is both a revival and a conclusion to the "Rurouni Kenshin" live-action trilogy, adapting the Enishi arc. I don't know how faithful this is, as I had moved on from the source material before the Enishi arc started, but from a story perspective... it's a beat-by-beat compression of the live-action trilogy that proceeded it. Like... I think everything that happens here went down in one of the previous ones... With that said, I don't really mind the formula. Even though part of me is like "another revenge plot that threatens to throw Japan in another war? Again?", the other part of me begrudgingly acknowledges that it allows for greater tension and more thrilling set pieces. The production values are top notch, with some truly awesome visual effects to make the action seem larger than life. They don't really do much with China's involvement though, despite setting up a conflict between the countries.

Another part of the formula that I'm strangely cool with is how all of the primary villain's have identical underlings -- one is a brawler who relies on his fists, another one has an anachronistic weapon, another one is just bat-shit crazy and there's always one whose practically a humanoid monster. Cliched? Sure, but they allow for much more diversity in the action scenes. The choreography is still stylish and smooth, showing a variety of special skills and techniques.

I think you'll like "The Final" if you enjoyed "Kyoto Inferno" and "The Legend Ends", as all three boast identical strengths and weaknesses. From a sword fighting and special effects standpoint, it's awesome and the cast is in fine form. I thought Enishi made for a compelling villain and even though the fanservice at times clutters up an already bloated narrative... it still made me squee. Did we really need Aoshi, Misao, Soujiro and Cho to make appearances? Probably not and if I have any serious issue with the movie, it's that the entire supporting cast was underutilized. Sano and Kaoru seemed more useless than usual, with Saitoh always feeling more important than he is. But at the same time, I still enjoyed seeing everyone again. I wonder if this would've been better if it was split into two different films, but who knows? The next sequel appears to be a prequel. So yeah, "Rurouni Kenshin: The Final" was a really good time if you liked the previous films, or least the last two.

3/4 

*Charlie's Angels (2000)* hasn't aged well from a politically correct standpoint... or really from any standpoint... but it knows what it is and enthusiastically embraces itself. I would say it only works -- if it works at all -- because of it's three leading ladies. Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu aren't just ridiculously hot here, as the movie allows them to also showcase their charisma, chemistry and comedic timing -- although they are still also really f@cking hot. McG isn't a director whose works I think particularly high of, but the man knows how to keep things consistently sexy. The male co-stars are kind of shitty though. I mean, I expect Tom Green to be annoying, but I was shocked at how much Bill Murray got on my nerves. At least Sam Rockwell was good.

I remember thinking the action scenes were pretty bad-ass when I saw this upon release, as the filmmakers were incorporating some pretty cutting edge filmmaking techniques for the time, such as wire-works, Eastern styled choreography, bullet time effects and CGI stuntwork. It all looks pretty silly by todays standards, with the posing looking particularly goofy -- but that's okay because the girls still look hot doing it.

2.5/4

*Iron Mask (2019)* is pretty terrible, albeit arguably charmingly so. Even though the marketing emphasized both Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, they serve as glorified cameos, as "Iron Mask" is actually a sequel to "The Forbidden Empire" (AKA: Viy), continuing the adventures of Jonathan Green (Jason Flemyng), although the closest to a protagonist is Cheng Lan (Xingtong Yao) -- a princess trying to reclaim her Kingdom. By the way, the titular Iron Mask barely has anything to do with the overarching plot, although the original title is the more accurate ("Viy 2: Journey to China"). Like I said, "Iron Mask" is pretty terrible, with unconvincing effects, awkward dialogue and some of the worst ADR I've ever seen. The plot is all over the place, with so many characters that if you end up being attached to any of them, you'll be disappointed with how underutilized everyone is.

With that said, I do have a strange soft spot for such... unadulterated camp... "Iron Mask" is so over-the-top, but it made me feel a little less critical than I otherwise would have been. The fight between Jackie and Arnold is pretty amusing and Arnold is having a blast in his limited screen-time. I also dug those elemental guardians. But make no mistake, I might have a soft spot for it, but I cannot stress enough... "Iron Mask" is pretty terrible.

2/4

*Kung Fu Zombie (1982)* is a Hong Kong kung fu film wrapped in both comedy and horror, starring Billy Chong as a young martial artist who has spent his entirely life training under his Father so he can fight... a vampire? In the interim, he accidentally kills a rival, whose ghosts haunts a hapless Priest until the latter agrees to help revive him. The story makes no sense, but it's one of those silly chop socky kind of kung fu flicks where you're not really going to care about the story too much. I actually preferred the subplot about the Priest more than the primary storyline, as it's more unique and boasts funnier gags. Billy Chong is a charismatic lead, but the stuff with his Father felt somewhat routine and neither character is particularly likable. The action scenes are pretty good though and come at you pretty rapidly, with very little downtime. "Kung Fu Zombie" can be quite juvenile though and is definitely weird, so it's not for everyone -- even among kung fu purists.

2.5/4 

*Kill! (1968)* -- or "Kiru" -- is one of my personal favorite Samurai flicks. Even though it is technically derivative of "Yojimbo", it finds inventive ways of keeping itself from becoming a mere clone and... I actually think I prefer it more than its more acclaimed influence. Tatsuya Nakadai is mostly known for his intense, piercing gaze that generally puts him in more villainous roles ("Sword of Doom", "Yojimbo"), but here he's a laid back, surprisingly funny character. Someone once described him as an alleycat to Toshiro Mifune's stray dog archetype from "Yojimbo".  Genta (Tatsuya Nakadai's character) does have a compelling arc though and his emotional moments got to me. I'm always a sucker for intrigue, so I was enthralled at the different sides and how they would often betray each-other, but I also loved the warmth amongst certain interactions. There are so many well written and memorable characters scattered throughout both sides, creating drama out of the fact that regardless of which 'side' comes out on top, some good people are going to perish.

Kihachi Okamoto's direction is stylish without being too showy and the sword fights boasted some really bad-ass choreography. I especially love the scene when Genta shows the extent of his skills for the first time. We all know he's a bad-ass, but when he finally see what he's capable of, it's a great "Oh shit!" moment. "Kill!" is also surprisingly action packed. Most samurai films are really just costume dramas, with very little actual action, but "Kill" is filled with it and somehow it's never at the expense of the story, drama or pacing. Personally, I think "Kill!" is close to perfect... except maybe the title, which is pretty basic.

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2021)

*Rurouni Kenshin: The Beginning (2021)* is a prequel to the live-action "Rurouni Kenshin" movies, surrounding Kenshin's (Takeru Satoh) Battousai days. I'm still not entirely sure why we needed this entry, as Kenshin's history with Tomoe (Kasumi Arimura) was already covered in "Rurouni Kenshin: The Final". In fact, it probably would've made a lot more sense for this to have been released first, but... okay? Questionable necessity aside, "The Beginning" is still pretty damn good itself. This is a much more somber experience than its predecessors, showcasing bleak cinematography and being much more violent. The action is still impressively choreographed, but it's admittedly much more brutal than stylish, for better or worse. I didn't feel like it ever reached the "Holy shit! That was f@cking awesome!" heights of its predecessors, but that obviously wasn't what it was going for. The emotional content is arguably more poignant thanks to the heavier sense of tragedy surrounding the swordplay though, so whether you prefer this or not comes down to your own preferences.
I think I prefer my "Rurouni Kenshin" stories to be a little more light hearted than this, but that's just me. 

The story is almost beat-by-beat identical to the "Trust & Betrayal" OVA's, which is both good and bad. The good is that the narrative is A LOT less cluttered than its predecessors, as there's less to adapt. The OVA was pretty structurally sound anyway, so "The Beginning" already inherited that. On the other hand, the OVA was released in two parts, so the movie combining them into one messes with the pacing. I also think it was just too identical for its own good, as there wasn't really any... I dunno... mystery to the story. As sloppy as the previous films could be, they at least did make enough changes to where I felt like I was watching something new. Nevertheless, "Rurouni Kenshin: The Beginning" is still a worthy addition to the franchise that does round it out rather nicely -- even if "The Final" probably should've been released after it. 

3/4 

*Kingdom: Ashin of the North (2021)* is a prequel to the incredible South Korean TV series, "Kingdom", which was a hybrid of zombie horror, martial arts action and political intrigue -- set during the Joseon dynasty. I loved "Kingdom" and consider it to be a contender for my favorite TV series of all time, but "Ashin of the North" is just... good... It really does contain a lot of what makes "Kingdom" so memorable. The zombie mayhem was thrilling and creepy, the martial arts was stylishly choreographed and the intrigue was full of twist and turns, but "Ashin of the North" doesn't quite pull off the balancing act as well. There is quite a lull where I almost started to forget about the zombies and another lull where I almost started to forget about the intrigue. Nevertheless, "Ashin of the North" is still effective in all of its parts, even if it's not quite as successful as a cohesive whole.

Also -- am I the only one who saw a missed opportunity by not calling the special "Kingdom of Ashin"? Like "Kingdom of Ashes" ("Game of Thrones" reference), except with Ashin? Eh? Eh!?

3/4 

*Street Fighter (1994)* is infamous for being one of the worst video game adaptations of all time... until a lot more film adaptations of video games showed up to be much worse, including "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li". I played more "Street Fighter" than "Mortal Kombat", but not as much as "Tekken", so I know enough about the lore to acknowledge that this isn't a very good adaptation, but I'm not so invested in the games that I really cared. None of the characters are like their video game counterparts beyond the superficial, but I will confess that I still "enjoyed" their portrayals and some of them genuinely work -- such as Raul Julia's Bison. "Street Fighter" is a hard movie to judge because it's pretty bad... but it also doesn't seem to be trying to be good either. It's very campy, with a nonsensical storyline designed to showcase silly action scenes, one-liners that are so bizarre that I'm still trying to make sense of them, colorful costumes that are not meant to be taken seriously and performances that all seem to be clearly in on the joke. Jean-Claude Van Damme is clearly coked up, but it really is a wonder to behold him delivering these lame -- yet almost charming -- one liners in what has to be his most stilted delivery. 

But hey, even if its often at the films expense, at least I am having some fun... which makes it better than "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li".

2/4 

I keep flip flopping back and forth on *Rodan (1956)*... who yes, had his own standalone Kaiju flick prior to becoming part of Godzilla's supporting cast. I thought it was thrilling as a kid, boring as a teenager and... I guess I think it's pretty good as an adult. "Rodan" actually begins as a horror film about miners being preyed upon by some mysterious menace deep within the mines. There is some good suspense, but the big reveal -- a giant insect called Meganuron -- is more silly than scary. Eventually it turns out that the Meganuron is just a snack for the much larger Rodan, who flies around and terrorizes Japan in all its kaiju glory. While I thought the Meganuron suit had aged poorly, the miniature works hold up pretty well. Rodan's flying ability allowed for the special effects team to showcase some new techniques for the time period, even if we've seen it all done plenty of times since then. Nevertheless, I still appreciated the scope of the visuals, especially when TWO Rodan's end up causing havoc. Rodan's design happens to be my personal favorite, especially amongst his Showa Era incarnations. Admittedly, I only feel this way towards the aesthetic, as his subsequent appearances would give the monster more of a personality. "Rodan" isn't the best kaiju flick, but it's certainly a good one.

3/4 


*Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time (2021)* is the conclusion to the epic 'Rebuild of Evangelion' reboot of the infamous "Neon Genesis Evangelion" anime series and it's definitely... Evangelion... The cryptic story is filled with esoteric dialogue, where the characters spend the entire movie explaining everything that really explains nothing, but encourages analysis amongst the fandom. I didn't realize until I started watching this that I had somehow missed "Evangelion 3.33", so maybe that's why I often felt so lost... but then again, I always feel lost in the world of Evangelion. Despite my glib, I do consider myself a fan of the franchise and was mostly happy with this conclusion. I absolutely love the apocalyptic  imagery and the music is arguably a franchise best. The pacing is deliberately methodical, but this allowed for some great character building and as someone who has been invested in this cast since the original series, I never grew impatient. Any long term fan will have to accept some of the franchise's quirks, such as the aforementioned esoteric nature of the story, but was it just me or did the action seem... lackluster? The Evangelion fights showcased some interesting visuals, but felt weightless and everything else was too chaotic to keep up with. Nevertheless, if you take one thing from my "review", know that "Evangelion: 3.0+1.0" is very... Evangelion.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 17, 2021)

*The Loyal 47 Ronin (1958)* is one of many tales surrounding the legendary -- and historical -- 47 Ronin, whose Master was forced to commit ritual suicide after being provoked into a confrontation with a rival. His vassals are disbanded, but secretly conspire to avenge him. This is nearly a whopping three hours long, although I was surprised by how smoothly paced it was. There isn't much action... and what little we get is underwhelming... but the direction and cinematography are elegant and showcase an artistry that was cutting edge for the time. The acting is... a little difficult to get used too... I'm accustomed to seeing Samurai behave stoically, but the cast is very emotive, maybe to the point of being melodramatic. Was this how samurai really behaved? Or was this the favored way of acting at the time? I can't say for certain. Maybe it was simply just a creative choice and for what it's worth, I did eventually get used to it. The cast DID succeed in engaging me in the drama, so I'd say it definitely worked for me, but it was kind of strange. Keep an eye out for Zatoichi's Shintaro Katsu as one of the 47. "The Loyal 47 Ronin" is really good, as long as you can accept the acting choices and lengthy running-time.

3.5/4   

*G.I Samurai (1979) *not only boasts the bonkers concept of 'Modern Japanese platoon accidentally travels back in time to the warring states period of Japan, where they're drawn into a war with a samurai clan', but can also brag that it had a budget. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to stage some of these shots, where the helicopter, dozens of horsemen and seemingly hundreds of extras running through a field of explosions, raining arrows and gunfire share the same visual. I was genuinely taken aback by how epic -- and I mean epic in the purist sense -- the climactic battle was. Now you might think that the platoon has the obvious advantage thanks to their superior technology, which includes machine guns, grenades, rocket launchers, an armored vehicle, a tank, a boat and a f@cking helicopter, right? But even though they certainly have the initial upper hand, the movie ratchets up the tension and drama by reminding us that samurai were masters of war themselves. They not only have significantly higher numbers, but they have a lot of their own strategic maneuvers to counter the heavy firepower of the platoon. They've even got ninja at their disposal! Every once in awhile there will be a sword or spear fight and the choreography is stylish and bloody, but it's the big battle sequences that will leave your jaw firmly planted on the floor. I mean -- the stuntwork alone is f@cking insane. At one point, Sonny Chiba's character is running around with an actual flaming arrow embedded in his leg. Awesome!

Now "G.I Samurai" certainly has its warts, although some are debatable. While there are token efforts to flesh out the characters, most of them die and you're like "Er, who was that again?". I did really connect to the tragic bromance (or romance?) between Commanding Officer Yoshiaki Iba (Sonny Chiba) and the historical figure Nagao Kagetora (Isao Natsuyagi). Iba initially begins as a good intentioned leader of his men, but his hubris gradually gets the best of him and his gradual descent into madness is chilling -- and Sonny Chiba looks especially bad-ass wielding a sword. Some of the soundtrack choices didn't really work, even though I understand what they were going for. There is an orchestic score as befitting a period piece, but they occasionally throw in a modern (1970's) pop track that just doesn't fit, even though that was arguably the point. There is one scene where a specific song plays during Iba and Kagetora's bonding moments that makes it REALLY feel like a falling-in-love montage. There is a chance that this was deliberate and Iba was intended to be a homosexual, as another subplot involving him and an eventual betrayer made them seem like former lovers. But it still had me giggling in a very immature kind of way. Nevertheless, "G.I Samurai" really does get by with some of the craziest set pieces that I've ever seen -- along with a few genuine tears. It's a really cool film. 

RIP Sonny Chiba... RIP...

3.5/4

*Contract Killer (1998)* -- also known as simply "Hitman" -- isn't one of the better Jet Li vehicles out there, although that's not to say it's necessarily a misfire either. Jet Li plays Fu, a skilled but naïve country pumpkin trying to make a living as a hitman in the big city. He teams up with a smooth talking conman played by Eric Tsang to find a mysterious assassin for a major reward. "Contract Killer" is an action-comedy, but it all feels kind of routine. The fight scenes are spaced a bit too far apart and while the choreography is solid, it doesn't really pop out. The comedy is OK and I thought Li and Tsang showcased a fun dynamic, but the rest of the story kept coming between them. The whole subplot with the Detective (Simon Yam) on their trail and the daughter (Gigi Leung) just sort of kept kept the narrative from building momentum. Even the scenes surrounding the villains seemed to hurt the pacing, as important to the story as they were. Like I said, "Contract Killer" isn't bad. Jet Li looks awesome in that suit and the fights were fine, but it's just a bit on the forgettable side. 

2/4 

*Twinkle, Twinkle, Lucky Stars (1985)* is the 3rd installment of the "Lucky Stars" series, following "Winners and Sinners" (which I haven't seen) and "My Lucky Stars" (which I have seen). It more-or-less recycles the same formula of "My Lucky Stars", for better or worse. There isn't really any plot, with the few embers of story taking a back seat to random gags that sometimes work, sometimes don't. Once again, this is a comedy with some martial arts sprinkled throughout, not an action flick. What we do get is really good though, with impressive stuntwork and choreography. Jackie Chan and Yuen Biao appear in extended cameos, providing most of the kung fu. There is a really big cast, with Sammo Hung and Eric Tsang reprising their role -- along with most of the original supporting cast. Rosamund Kwan, Wu Ma and Michelle Yeoh also make appearances. How you feel about "My Lucky Stars" is about how you should feel about "Twinkle, Twinkle, Lucky Stars". My problem is that the characters are just so unlikable, even if what they're doing is often amusing.

2/4  

*Knock Off (1998)* is generally regarded as a failure, so much so that it contributed to Jean-Claude Van Damme's fall from the A-list, while director Tsui Hark straight up gave up on Hollywood and returned to Hong Kong, with Rob Schneider... continuing to be Rob Schneider... So no one made it out of "Knock Off" unscathed, but do you know what? I really didn't mind it. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a fashion designer, whose partner (Rob Shneider) is actually a CIA agent investigating a terrorist plot in Hong Kong. The comedy is mostly pretty lame, but the idea of Rob Schneider playing a (competent!) CIA agent, with Van Damme being the fashion designer, is genuinely f@cking funny. I'm obviously not a fan of Schneider's schtick, but he and Van Damme have surprisingly good chemistry together. I found myself actually enjoying this pairing, even though Van Damme isn't known for his comedic timing and... neither is Schneider... There are also some really cool action set pieces, with good stuntwork and production value, but... "Knock Off" is still pretty bad, just entertaining enough in the right places to keep itself watchable.

Tsui Hark's style never really translated very well in Hollywood, especially compared to the likes of Ronny Yu or John Woo. For whatever reason, his flourishes somehow get in the way of the action and he couldn't settle on a tone. This worked fine for him in Hong Kong, where tone is hardly a priority, but it's surreal how campy a lot of the performances are, even when the story takes some darker turns. Apparently Sammo Hung choreographed the fight scenes, but most of the martial arts was removed in post production. There is still enough to satisfy the genre, but the editing is strangely choppy, especially during the climax. I totally get why "Knock Off" was poorly received for these reasons, but what can I say? It's a bit of a guilty pleasure I guess.

2/4


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## dr_shadow (Oct 14, 2021)

On Baidu you can see all movies of a given genre made in a given year. It seems like the genre "Kung Fu" is on the brink of extinction, although the genre "Wuxia" is flourishing (with CGI nightmares). The genre of "Costume Dramas" (which overlaps with the other two) is also apparently thriving, even though I haven't seen one in years.

*"Kung Fu"*
2010: 38
2011: 42
2012: [data unavailable]
2013: 38
2014: 28
2015: 7
2016: 27
2017: 13
2018: 8
2019: 12
2020: 6

*"Wuxia"*
2010: 17
2011: 16
2012: [data unavailable]
2013: 22
2014: [data unavailable]
2015: 30
2016: 54
2017: 82
2018: 147
2019: 123
2020: 90

*"Costume drama (guzhuang)"*
2010: 48
2011: 32
2012: [data unavailable]
2013: 54
2014: 40
2015: 69
2016: 90
2017: [data unavailable]
2018: 229
2019: [data unavailable]
2020: 181

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Nov 13, 2021)

*Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)* might be one of the few exceptional Marvel Cinematic Universe flicks that transcends the franchise... but I won't really know until I watch it again, as I feel like the MCU flicks usually lose some of their power during subsequent viewings... But for the moment, I had a blast. I'm a pretty big fan of the MCU, but there is no denying that they've been working a well oiled formula for quite some time now. "Shang-Chi" doesn't really change the formula, but it does compliment it. The action scenes, for example, don't just rely on gratuitous CGI, but showcase some really fast paced and stylish choreography. I also loved, loved, LOVED how our hero fights opponents with their own styles and gimmicks, as so many of the MCU battles fall flat because it's always the hero fighting someone with an identical way of combat. The finale does admittedly falter though, as I thought the conflict between Shang Chi and his Father was where the excitement and drama was, but of course they have to go back to the ole 'giant CGI monster' trope. The design of the creature was cool, but it's just a big evil special effect. Even if the world is on the line, there are never any real emotional stakes with those kinds of threats. 

I did really appreciate characters and the thematic material surrounding them. I liked Shang-Chi's arc, but I also liked how he can be really funny and awkward. Simu Liu was great and fired on all cylinders, showing phenomenal comedic timing, dramatic capabilities and athleticism. He also has great chemistry with Awkwafina, who was hilarious. I was thrilled to see Tony Leung as the villain, as I'm not sure if I've seen him in a Hollywood production before. I thought his character made for one of the more compelling MCU villains, as you understand his motivations but aren't sure where he actually stands on the evil spectrum. Once again, it's just a shame that "Shang-Chi" trades out that conflict for the more mundane giant monster battle. But still -- I really enjoyed "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings" and look forward to seeing more of the character in future MCU entries.

3.5/4 

*Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)* is one of those big, flashy, expensive, Disney CG animated products that... had the misfortune of being released during the Covid pandemic... probably making it one of their biggest flops. It's unfortunate too, as "Raya" was a lot of fun. The animation quality is state of the art, boasting a vibrant art direction thanks to the diverse setting. The comedy usually made me laugh and the characters all had an engaging chemistry. Most importantly, the action scenes rely a lot on martial arts techniques, which were stylish and inventive. But when all was said and done, I have to admit that "Raya" doesn't really stand out in a way that "Frozen" or "Moana" did... and I can't figure out why. I think it has something to do with the characters, but I mean they're all technically fleshed out enough and go through compelling arcs. Perhaps it's simply because the pandemic limited its merchandising opportunities? I'm so used to seeing Disney characters being plastered everywhere that maybe it's not so much that other Disney movies are superior, but they simply had better use of the marketing machine. I don't know. 

I remember a lot of complaints that this was a rip-off of "Avatar: The Last Airbender", but I didn't really see it. I mean... I guess there are similarities, but it's not like their shared plot threads are unique to "Avatar: The Last Airbender".

3/4  

*Delta Force 2: The Columbian Connection (1990)* is the much maligned sequel to one of the better Chuck Norris vehicles, "Delta Force" and... it's pretty deserving of its reputation, although it can take some solace in the knowledge that it's hardly the worst Chuck and (director) Aaron Norris collaboration. Because this was produced during Chuck Norris's box office decline, the production values are clearly not on par with its predecessor. The set pieces were lackluster for the most part, although that wasn't really my problem with the movie. The tone is all over the place, with Billy Drago playing a villain so sadistic that he kills a woman's husband, forces her to have sex with him to save her sick infant child -- whom he ends up slaughtering anyway... and then our heroes somehow make light of it with a cute quip. The acting is REALLY bad too, accidentally transforming disturbing acts of violence into comedic gold. Billy Drago is at least fun in a cartoonish kind of way, but it's bizarre how limited Chuck Norris's screen-time is considering he's supposed to be the hero. He feels like he's part of an ensemble, with too much screen-time being given to his supporting cast, who all turn in worst performances than him... and he himself looks like he's phoning it in. To be fair, this was how the first film was structured too, but at least that had Lee Marvin!  Eh, at least Chuck does get to display a few really cool techniques during the sparring sequences. Movie still sucks though. 

1.5/4 

*Maximum Risk (1998) *was one of Jean-Claude Van Damme's earlier attempts to give a more serious and darker performance, although... he just wasn't quite there yet... This has all the elements to be a fun movie, as the action scenes are stellar, with some really interesting choreography throughout Van Damme's re-occurring battles with this big Russian dude. There's also some cool car stunts and Natasha Henstridge is exceptionally sexy. But "Maximum Risk" just takes itself so seriously that it ends up minimizing the fun. The script, where Van Damme plays a cop who's investigating the death of his twin brother, is convoluted and the acting is just not very good. It seemed to me that the supporting cast weren't sure if they were in a dramatic thriller or a farcical actioner. It was especially surreal seeing Van Damme genuinely trying to genuinely emote, while his co-stars were winking at the camera. I was surprised to learn that Ringo Lam was the director, this being his Hollywood debut, but his style is toned down to the point of being bland... albeit adequate, if you ignore the tonal problems. 

2/4 

*The Last Mercenary (2021)* is a French action-comedy, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme in what has to be the first non-English production I've seen him in. The plot has JCVD play a legendary mercenary known as 'the mist', because mist can't be traced. His estranged son finds himself in the center of a convoluted, so Daddy must put together a ragtag team to save the day. The problem with this movie is that the plot is too dense to leave a lot of room for comedy... or even action... as there is a lot of explaining going on. It doesn't help that I don't speak French, nor am I necessarily familiar with its flavor of comedy, so for all I know "The Last Mercenary" was comedic gold for that audience -- I just rarely laughed myself. The action is fine, but it's only sporadically paced. The cast turns in spirited performances though, with Van Damme doing a stellar job and the director showcases some style.  Assa Sylla steals the show as the street smart Dalila. "The Last Mercenary" isn't bad, but it didn't really connect much as a whole.

But at the absolute least -- we get Van Damme in drag.  

2/4


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## BlueDemon (Nov 15, 2021)

Watched Shang-Chi this weekend and I also enjoyed it, the martial arts choreography definitely made it stand out as far as action scenes go in the MCU.


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## MartialHorror -- ! (Nov 22, 2021)

*The Matrix (1999)* was such an iconic and influential piece of pop culture for its time that the biggest challenge for modern audiences is to even see it as the innovator it was, considering how often it has been imitated and parodied. I -- like seemingly everyone my age -- thought "The Matrix" was the coolest thing ever upon release, quoting it when I could, wanting to dress like the characters even though I couldn't... I think I even made up my own hacker name, although for the life of me, I can't remember what it was? Considering my age, it was probably something stupid like Bigdong69. I can't tell you how many times I watched this f@cking movie, but it was enough to eventually overdose on it... and I seemingly lost all desire to ever watch it again.

But now there is a fourth movie coming out, so I figured I better brush up on the trilogy.

I think my favorite part about "The Matrix" is that it's a big budgeted, science fiction... kung fu flick... The martial arts was choreographed by the legendary Yuen Woo-ping and his style is somehow recognizable amongst all of the big special effects. In fact, it's surprising how naturally all of the wire works, CGI and kung fu techniques blend together. Of course, we have to mention the bullet time visual effect... which was super cool until everyone was using it so much that it practically became a cliche... *ahem* The CGI has mostly aged well, with the exception of a few shots and I can't overstate the cool factor of "The Matrix" enough. From the attire to the postering to the characterizations and dialogue, the movie is just damn cool.

I do remember that as often as I watched "The Matrix", I did have some trouble understanding the story, even though I just went along with it because of coolness. Yet for this viewing, I had no difficulty digesting the heaps of exposition, which was delivered with enough style to be... er... cool? I even enjoyed the more thematic material hidden within all that explaining, which was surprisingly thought provoking. Now, there is one aspect of "The Matrix" that has aged so poorly that it's become kind of uncomfortable to watch and I'm curious how the new film will handle it... Our heroes seemingly have no problem gunning down innocent people and even though there is a story justification for it, gun violence has become much more problematic since 1999 and... I have this deep, dark suspicion that "The Matrix" might have inadvertently inspired some of it. From a dramatic perspective though, you would think there'd at least be one instance of Neo having an emotional reaction to having to murder an innocent, but the movie chooses not to dwell on it which I thought was a missed opportunity.

But I still think "The Matrix" is a definite genre classic and I'm glad it's just as exciting today as it was in 1999... even if it's much more disturbing now than it was in 1999....

4/4 

I remember the marketing campaign for *The Matrix Reloaded (2003)*, which had boasted some of the coolest trailers and TV spots, some of which give me chills to this day. The hype for this sequel was indescribable and I distinctly recall entering that theater and... and... falling asleep during the final twenty minutes. It's strange, as I do remember liking the movie as a whole, but it really ran out of steam during its final stretch. But looking upon it now, "The Matrix Reloaded" is really not that great, although it's not as bad as I think others make it out to be. The reviews were initially positive, but over time, people would sour on this sequel. I suspect that has more to do with dissatisfaction towards the third entry, but once again... "The Matrix Reloaded" did not have the sturdiest of foundations. The franchise was bound to collapse underneath it at some point.

I do want to express admiration for how this sequel doesn't just coast on the laurels of its predecessor, even though it could've easily gotten away with it. "The Matrix Reloaded" does advance the story, flesh out the characters a bit and the world, with some ideas being very compelling -- even in execution. For example, I liked how Morpheus's role as the wise mentor is challenged, as many people within Zion think he's a loon. I liked how the prophecy is treated like a religion, not like a science. There are also some insane action set pieces that are definitely worthy of "The Matrix", being inventive while showing off state of the art technology... even if yes, some of the CGI has aged horrendously. There are still a lot of memorable and incredible visuals, along with a variety of fight scenes that boast exceptional martial arts choreography.

So... what's the problem?

"The Matrix Reloaded" has a narrative that just sort of flounders around. The big difference between the original and its sequel is that "The Matrix" had a sense of urgency in all of its sequences, so even if there was a lot of technical jargon that we did not understand, it still sounded exciting -- and it was exciting. "The Matrix Reloaded" often has its characters waiting around until they're told what to do, which amusingly, the script actually lampshades at one point. I think the filmmakers were trying to be pensive and thought provoking, but when there isn't a sense of direction, it makes the jargon seem gratuitous and pompous. Every time a character would monologue about causalities or anomalies, I would find myself growing bored and wondering why they had to make the dialogue so convoluted. But do you know what was worse? Even the action scenes feel gratuitous. The fight scene between Neo and Seraph (Collin Chou) was cool, but did it have any function for the story? Did we really need a love triangle surrounding Morpheus? As cool as the ghost twins were, I think they stole the show a little bit too well because after their set piece was completed, I realized they could've been omitted entirely... and I also missed them, damn it! Even the revived Mr. Smith (Hugo Weaving) felt tacked onto the story, although "The Matrix Revolutions" would rectify this. "The Matrix Reloaded" is full of awesome moments, but it's so disjointed that the experience is arguably more exhausting than exhilarating.  

2.5/4

*The Matrix Revolutions (2003) *was... *yawn*... the conclusion of the infamous trilogy that is about to become a quadrilogy. The general consensus was that it was the weakest of the three films, although whether that made it bad, mediocre or OK varied from person to person. I didn't even like this at the shallow age of 17, but I had hoped following my recent disappointment with "The Matrix Reloaded", that maybe "The Matrix Revolutions" was simply too cerebral for my teenaged brain and I would appreciate it more now.
In a way, I do... but I still don't particularly like it.

I will say this, "The Matrix Revolutions" is a much steadier movie than "The Matrix Reloaded" was. The special effects have aged a lot better, Agent Smith has a more organic place in the story and the narrative has somewhat of a flow. The opening 25 minutes were completely pointless in the grand scheme of things and I suspect only exist to have a set piece within the matrix itself, but I guess the remainder of the scenes did serve a purpose. I didn't feel like the jargon or the action was gratuitous, even though I still wondered why certain characters had to be there, especially as it's at the expense of the core cast. Yeah... Neo and Trinity vanish for a large -- possibly even half -- of the middle block, while we spend time with minor characters, some of whom I don't think we were introduced before. Morpheus plays second fiddle to his love interest and Laurence Fishburne looks highly disinterested.

But do you know what the real problem with "The Matrix Revolutions" is? There isn't a lot of time spent in the matrix and... this world is just not that interesting outside of the matrix. It's a bunch of drably lit, barren wastelands with people in really boring costumes. The action scenes are just special effects colliding, with little variety. The 'cool' factor just isn't there. In fact, I think I figured out why these sequels are regarded to be worse than they actually are. They really draw attention to how "The Matrix" was always about the style, about looking really, really cool. "The Matrix Revolutions" reveals that Neo and Trinity were not really all that well rounded as characters, but they didn't have to be before, because they looked really cool kicking ass. Neo in particular embraces his messiah role so thoroughly that it often seems like he looks down on the people he's supposed to be saving. He only cares about Trinity and acts detached from the rest of humanity, making it possible to connect or relate to him. Trinity only seems to exist to be his woman and neither character learns their lessons from "The Matrix Reloaded", negating what I thought were supposed to be character arcs. Morpheus is probably the best written of the three leads, but this third entry has little use for him, so it was hard to make an emotional investment in the resolution of the story... even though I had previously thought I liked these characters.

"The Matrix Revolutions" only has one really memorable scene, which is the final showdown between Neo and Smith. It's pretty awesome, in a Dragonball Z kind of way... and yes, I did geek out over this at the time, but at least "The Matrix Reloaded" had multiple memorable scenes. I don't think "The Matrix Revolutions" is necessarily a terrible movie, but it is a terrible sequel. I was going to rate it a 2/4 stars, but I'm growing increasingly frustrated thinking about it, as I'm now second guessing the quality of the first film because of this one. The worse kind of sequel is just not bad on its own, but it lessens the power of what had proceeded it. I will still give "The Matrix Revolutions" SOME respect though, for much like the previous sequel, the Wachowski's did try to deliver something different. I'm looking forward to the upcoming "Matrix Resurrections", but I'm worried that will be dependent on nostalgia... which is a whole other kind of boring... We'll have to see.

1.5/4

I am not really interested in revisiting "The Animatrix". I remember finding it pretty boring, even though it was more uneven than bad. In its defense, those kinds of anthologies are just not my cup of tea.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2021)

*The Matrix Resurrections (2021)* is the long-awaited continuation of the Matrix trilogy, which he hoped would wash the polarizing taste of the sequels from our mouths... even though the reception to this one has been equally polarizing. What do I think, as a jaded Matrix fan? Red pill? Blue pill? More like a sleeping pill! I found myself yawning around the 1-hour point and felt a soul crushing dread when I realized I wasn't even half way through the movie yet! My Dad, by the way, had already fallen asleep by this point. If I were to sum up "The Matrix Resurrections", I would say it's narratively similar to "The Matrix Reloaded", being dragged down by all of its shortcomings... but without any of the real awesome moments. In fact, I don't think "Resurrections" has any memorable set pieces. The CGI and choreography are stellar, but the style felt... lacking... A lot of it might have to do with its strange relationship with nostalgia, as most of the action is designed to be reminiscent of its predecessors, but it's never quite on the same level. Remember that awesome sparring session between Neo and Morpheus? It gets a reprisal here, but the choreography was nowhere near as exciting. 

Ugh, while we're on the topic of nostalgia... 

I f@cking hated how self-aware "Resurrections" is. The story is that the events of the trilogy were adapted into a video game, designed by Thomas 'Neo' Anderson himself. There is even a scene where his boss laments that Warner Brothers is forcing them to do a sequel, which I suspect was Lana Wachowski's motivations behind doing this film. She claims she was inspired by the death of her parents, but then why have such cynical dialogue? What makes this even stranger is that the story does advance in a way that made the nostalgia bait so unnecessary? Sentient programs working with humans? Machines fighting against machines? Thomas Anderson/Neo questioning what's real? That's all compelling enough to stand on its own, but instead of exploring them the movie goes back to reminding us of the original trilogy -- and then snarking at those reminders. Another baffling creative decision is how often footage of the original trilogy is interspliced within the dialogue or action scenes, as if Lana doesn't even trust her audience to remember the iconic visuals or dialogue. This movie did NOT need to be any longer.

The pacing doesn't quite run out of gas like the previous sequels did, but it also never really builds up momentum either. The dialogue porn is less esoteric, so when the story stops for it, at least I could keep up. The characters sometimes stand around waiting for the plot to happen and the stakes feel strangely low. I will say this -- Neo feels like an actual character this time around and not just a symbol or a prop. I did like the cast a lot, even the new additions I was skeptical of. Yeah, it's a shame Lawrence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving couldn't return, but their replacements were pretty good... albeit entirely pointless... Mr. Smith could've been cut out completely, as he's not the villain and he doesn't really move the story in a meaningful way besides fanservice. I was really surprised at how superfluous Morpheus ended up being, as he's just kind of there once Neo gets his memories back. Even if I liked the performances, this all just adds to the bloated running-time. 

I cannot stress enough -- I was bored. The previous sequels were also equally flawed in their own ways, but at least they tried to innovate. They had their moments. "Resurrections" exists to just remind us of those moments. No, wait. That's not right. It grudgingly exists to remind us of those moments. 

1.5/4


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## dr_shadow (Jan 1, 2022)

So I found this fantastic Douban thread. Somebody has compiled a list of the Top 10 highest-grossing Hong Kong films _every year_ for the 50 years 1969-2019 (title wrongly says 2020). Including co-productions with the Mainland and/or Taiwan. So nearly every good Chinese-language movie in existance is on this list. And it even has links to which streaming sites you can see them on - but might be geoblocked outside of China.


Background is my New Year's resolution is to "improve my Cantonese", so I need recommendations for "some movies with Canto dialogue". Well, guess I found about 500 of them.



Edit:

Of course I had to make an Excel file and check off how many of the Top 500 highest-grossing HK films I had personally seen. Turns out, 53. That's kind of impressive; sometimes I forget that I must have seen several hundred movies over the course of my life. I'm a little ashamed that only 21 (40%) are pre-reunification ones. I thought I had seen more of the classics of British Hong Kong, but I guess not. Well, better get cracking on those 450 unwatched ones.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2022)

*Marvel's Eternals (2021)* has been derided as the worst of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films, but I thought it was more uneven than bad. I think a lot of the backlash had to do with the promotional materials selling "Eternals" as a kind of prestigious picture. Not only was there a highly acclaimed director, Chloé Zhao, hot off her Oscar win... there was also an exciting cast and trailers that were edited in a way to feel distinct from the other MCU flicks. They were even boasting a lot of location shooting, which has sadly become a novelty amidst the MCU. But in the end, you had a movie that wasn't quite as unique as the marketing campaign lead you to believe, nor was it as good as the movie clearly wanted to be. But I think I had an easier time forgiving it because I missed the theatrical run, so my expectations had already dropped considerably. As is, I thought "Eternals" was fine. 

There are a lot of good -- even great -- things to appreciate about the Eternals. The art direction is often breathtaking, with some epic visuals and I loved the use of color in both the set and costume design. I can't stress enough HOW MUCH I MISS LOCATION SHOOTING. I was pleasantly surprised by the action scenes, as even the powers that I feel have been done to death like eye lasers or super speed, allowed for many cool moments here. Furthermore, while I did feel "Eternals" was too long, I never grew bored... even if yes, the narrative is overstuffed.

I've heard many complaints about the characters being weakly written, but I actually liked all of them to varying levels. I'd even say the characters were well rounded... when they're allowed to be characters, with actual personalities. The problem is that there is a lot of information "Eternals" needs to catch the viewer up with, so they're often tasked with explaining far too much. It also doesn't help that there is too much that just didn't need to be here. What purpose did that talking deviant serve within the overall narrative? Was Dane (Kit Harington) even necessary? I know he's supposed to be important later on, but after all that time setting him up as Sersi's (Gemma Chan) love interest, he just vanishes. His presence ends up taking away from the centuries long romance between Sersi and Ikaris (Richard Madden), which is supposed to be the crux of the story, but has absolutely no time to breathe. He left her without warning centuries ago, but she doesn't seem all that bothered by it when they reunite. The conclusion of Ikaris's arc also doesn't get much of an emotional reaction out of her, which once again, is bizarre. There are a lot of other strange creative decisions that I can't get into without spoiling, like how one Eternal just abandons the climax. In most movies, he or she'd make a triumphant return, because that would be a pay-off to his arc. But nope! There are also some 'hidden disdain reveals' that didn't have a lot of foreshadowing, undermining the drama of the situation. I can't really talk about it without spoiling, but it often felt like the mechanics of these relationships kept changing just to serve 'the moment', instead of the overarching story. 

I will say this, I prefer "Eternals" over "Thor: The Dark World", "The Incredible Hulk" and even entries that are arguably more stellar like "Captain Marvel" and "Black Widow". When "Eternals" works, it works well. I liked the characters and visual style. I liked the attempts at trying something new with the formula  and I'm excited to see the Eternals themselves appear in more MCU properties. But I think the narrative would've been better served in a TV show type of format, where maybe everything would flow a little more organically. 

2.5/4 

*Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms (2021) *is the sequel to the surprisingly good "Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge", this time with the tournament being the primary conflict, with Scorpion being demoted to the side-quest. The first movie had structural problems, but "Battle of the Realms" fixes this by... not having a structure at all... Okay, so maybe 'fix' isn't really the right word? There is so much going on in a very little amount of time that only die-hard fans of the games will be able to appreciate or even understand. I found myself often being reminded of that shitty "Mortal Kombat Annihilation" movie, where it's just a whole lot of fanservice without rhyme or reason, although this thankfully isn't awful about it. I couldn't really find myself getting invested in all of these new characters, who simply just aren't given enough time to really come into their own, nor could I even really care about the plights of the returning cast, because they don't really move forward as characters (except Raiden)... but I still had enough fun thanks to the endless barrage of action scenes. The presentation of the animation is still stellar and yet distinct. The gore is still... gory... and I was even taken aback by how crazy some of the deaths were, especially when they were delivered to characters you didn't necessarily expect to bite it.

I think how much you enjoy "Battle of the Realms" comes down to your relationship with the games. If you love them and are familiar with all the lore, you probably will enjoy this. If you're a casual like me, you might enjoy this. If you know nothing about the franchise, you'll probably not care for it.

2.5/4

*Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)* is one of the most convoluted genre mashups that I've ever seen, being a historical epic loosely based on a true story and a political thriller full of intrigue... and an action swashbuckler full of... kung fu? What the f@ck? There's also a mystery, romance and a f@cking monster that eats people, somehow qualifying "Brotherhood of the Wolf" as a horror movie amidst all of its genres. Did I mention that this is also loosely based on a true story yet? Apparently, there was a series of real-life wolf attacks in 18th century France (so it's also a period piece) ... and as a cherry on top, "Brotherhood of the Wolf" also is stylized after spaghetti westerns for some reason.

Awesome!

"Brotherhood of the Wolf" is a French production and I remember watching it when it was first released in the states, being thrown off by the dubbing and the presence of Mark Dacascos, who I was a fan of. I didn't 'get' the movie at the time, finding the plot both boring and hard to follow. I needed more monster kung fu action and yet I seem to remember finding the CGI a little unconvincing even back then and yes, the special effects have aged pretty poorly -- even if the costumes and sets are certainly top notch. The design of the beast was pretty cool too. Now as a seasoned veteran of cinema, I could stomach all of this plot and had no problem following it, although I do think it was often more convoluted than it needed to be. The running-time is a bit bloated, with plenty of side stories that could've easily been trimmed down or cut out. But "Brotherhood of the Wolf" definitely has style. Did the movie need to have crazy kung fu fights? No, but it was pretty f@cking awesome for it. "Brotherhood of the Wolf" definitely is a big budgeted oddity, but it is pretty f@cking cool.

3/4

*Knight of Shadows: Between Yin and Yang (2019)* is a fantasy-comedy with some martial arts, starring Jackie Chan as a demon hunter. From what I gather, there is actual a historical lore here, as Chan plays a struggling scribe who was a real person... although I am assuming the real-life figure was not a demon hunter. I'd also heard that this wasn't very good and... it was not... "Knight of Shadows" has a very messily told, disjointed story that I suspect was cobbled together from multiple sources and the humor... God, the humor... Just a lot of noise, with nary a laugh on the horizon. But f@ck me, that aint the worst of it. The CGI might showcase the worst special effects to ever appear in a reasonably budgeted movie. For a 2019 production, it does not even resemble a 2009 production. It is so cartoony looking that the first scene left me wondering if I had been duped into watching an actual cartoon.

Is everything terrible? Not really. I've heard some claim that Jackie Chan is following the path of Bruce Willis and Steven Seagal, but I disagree. Not only can Jackie still command budgets, he himself still knows how to command the screen. He looks like he's having fun and is invested in the role. He was good, if nothing else was. I also thought the tragic romance was probably the most competently handled aspect of the story, as the actors turn in some very sincere performances. Unfortunately, it also means that I can't excuse the 'farting demon'-esque humor as being meant for kids, as if they were the target audience, the love story would put them to sleep. So not only is "Knght of Shadows: Between Yin and Yang" bad, it doesn't even know who to be bad for. 

1.5/4

*Lethal Weapon 4 (1998)* is regarded as the weakest of the popular "Lethal Weapon" franchise, with its domestic box office intake reflecting the critical disappointment. The general consensus is that each sequel is a little worse than the last one, but while I do agree, I think all of these movies are at least 'OK'. The first is the only entry I'd regard as exceptional, but the others also get by on their high energy, stellar direction, funny lines and gags, enough production value to deliver some crazy set pieces and of course -- the wonderful chemistry between Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Watching them exchange banter is enough to carry any franchise, but I think the problem with the sequels is that they introduced too many variables that sort of took away from their dynamic. When "Lethal Weapon 2" introduced Leo (Joe Pesci) as a third wheel, he worked well within the story, but his presence wasn't needed in "Lethal Weapon 3"... which also added Lorna (Rene Russo) as Riggs's love interest. She also worked well within that story, but once again... these additions encumber the narrative and chip away from what made the franchise distinct in the first place -- the dynamic between Riggs and Murtaugh. 

With "Lethal Weapon 4", the narrative continues to get bogged down by bringing back both Leo and Lorna, giving them too much screen-time even though they have little to do with the story. But not only that, they also add Detective Butters (Chris Rock) into the mix and... he doesn't work as well within this story as they did within their own... I found his humor to be more annoying and the story thread just didn't feel organic... AND THAT'S NOT ALL FOLKS! Riggs is having a baby... and having a mid-life crisis... and Murtaugh is having a grandbaby... and is always going through a mid-life crisis... and there's also this sublot where they get promoted because the police force can't get insurance thanks to all the destruction they cause, which goes nowhere... and Riggs might be on the take...

This story has already become convoluted, and we haven't even gotten to the actual story! This time, Riggs and Murtaugh are tracking some triads, led by Wah Sing Ku played by... *insert drumroll*... JET MOTHAF@CKING LI AND HE IS SO F@CKING COOL. Like many naive Americans, this was my introduction to Jet Li back in 1998 and I've been a huge fan ever sense. Jet Li f@cking steals the show, even from both Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Every technique he uses is amazing and even with little dialogue, he conveys this natural charisma, mixed in with a disturbing amount of menace. I mean... he f@cking brushes off one of those laser pointer scopes like it was f@cking dirt. That has to be the most bad-ass thing I've ever seen. The climactic fight between Li and our heroes was iconic, arguably the craziest of the franchise. It's amusing how the worst "Lethal Weapon" movie arguably provides some of its best moments... although like I said, the 'worst' isn't necessarily 'bad'. "Lethal Weapon 4" might have more weaknesses than its predecessors, but it still has the good action scenes, humor, high energy, good chemistry amongst its leads -- blahblahblahwhocares, Jet Li is too f@cking cool.  

I won't review the others, as they don't really qualify on the martial arts spectrum for me, but... Jet Li... "Lethal Weapon 4" more than qualifies for that reason alone. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2022)

*The King's Man (2021)* is a prequel to "The Kingsmen: Secret Service", centered around the origins of the secret spy agency during World War 1. The movie opened to a mostly tepid critical reception and lukewarm box office numbers, but it's not bad as much as it just... doesn't quite connect... "The King's Man" has all of the parts to be great. The production values allow for some epic action set pieces, with Matthew Vaughn's direction remaining as stylish as ever. I always love these over-the-top fight scenes where the choreography incorporates blades, guns and umbrellas. There's a great cast, who all turn in spirited performances. I also enjoy most of how they utilized real history, albeit in an embellished, stylized kind of way. 

So... what's holding it back?

"The King's Man" just isn't that fun as a whole. It feels just a little too long and drawn out, with the humor missing almost as much as it lands. But even beyond that -- it's surprisingly bleak for such a silly concept. I mean, this is a movie where Rasputin may or may not have mystical powers, but it's also treating the horrors of war with the utmost sincerity. Sometimes it's even outright depressing, which is just at odds with the over-the-top mayhem. But that doesn't make it devoid of value. There is certainly a lot of cool stuff to enjoy. It just... as I said, doesn't quite connect as a whole. 

2.5/4 

*The Yingyang Master (2021)* is not to be confused with "The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity" or "The Knight of Shadows: Between Yin and Yang"... although the similarity in titles makes me wonder if there's a trend going on in China that I don't know about. I don't think they would share the same source, as each of them have mostly different stories, with the only plot related connection being a demon world that can interact with humanity. This one is about a half-demon who must use his mystical powers to stop an invasion. Like many big budgeted Chinese fantasies, there is a lot of CGI and even though it might not always be good, it is always interesting thanks to the vibrant colors and unique designs. I loved the sets and the costumes, and the lore was pretty engaging too. The cast of characters is fun, but admittedly "The Yinyang Master" doesn't have the tightest of stories. Even though Qing Ming (Chen Kun) is our protagonist, the audience surrogate is Yuan Boya (Qu Chuxiao), a lowly Captain determined to catch our half-demon hero. But it seems like once we grow familiar with this world, the story has no need for him and he's just kind of... there... He arguably did not even be there in the first place. Let's face it though, "The Yinyang Master" is more about special effects than plot anyway. 

2.5/4 

*BKO: Bangkok Knockout (2010)* is a Thai martial arts flick from director and stunt coordinator Panna Rittikrai, known primarily for choreographing "Ong Bak" and directing its sequels. This one is about a stunt team who finds themselves trapped in a building and are forced to participate in a deadly game. The writing... kind of sucks, with a story that becomes progressively nonsensical with its twists and turns. The characters might have different fighting styles, but don't have much in terms of personality. It's also really silly, but who cares? The plot for "Bangkok Knockout" exists to get the fighting going and the action is pretty cool. There's a lot of stylish choreography, good stuntwork and a few "Holy shit!" moments. 

2.5/4 

*The Fortress (2017)* is a South Korean historical war film, set during the Second Manchu invasion of Korea in 1636. More specifically, the Joseon King takes refuge in an isolated, mountain fortress, while the Qing army lay siege outside. While there are some epic battle scenes, the film is mostly concerned with the politics surrounding them and I was taken aback by how interesting they were. The characters all have different opinions on how to handle the situation and though they're often at odds with each-other, the two sides are portrayed mostly sympathetically. It must've SUCKED to be part of the royal court, as even an unpopular idea could lead to accusations of treason and calls for execution... and we think 'Cancel Culture' is bad. The cinematography is beautiful and the acting is heartfelt, although in the end... while "The Fortress" was a thrilling watch... I doubt I'll remember it for very long. There are simply too many movies like this coming out within the past few years, but still... this is another good one. 

3/4 

Even though *Fistful of Vengeance (2022) *is a movie, it's a sequel to the netflix series, "Wu Assassins", continuing the story of Kai (Iko Uwais), the mystical warrior and his buddies as they search for the killer of one of their own. I actually enjoyed "Wu Assassins", even though it was REALLY uneven, but... I also don't remember much about it and "Fistful of Vengeance" did a sloppy job covering the events of the series, while also being too dependent on it to be appreciated as a standalone film. This put me at a critical disadvantage, as I spent way too much time asking "Who was this character again?", "When did that character die?" and "Was that person in the original show?". 

Unfortunately, even if I revisited "Wu Assassins" before checking this out, it wouldn't have made "Fistful of Vengeance" any good. I liked the cast before, but they're really struggling with a lot of the material here. The dialogue was lame, the attempts at comedic relief were awkward and they're often saddled with the hokiest of cliches. The characters are also prone to behaving like idiots in order to propel the story forward. But what keeps "Fistful of Vengeance" from outright sucking is that the fight scenes are still pretty cool. The choreography is good and director Roel Reiné has a few interesting visual flourishes. He's mostly known for doing subpar direct-to-DVD sequels of... equally subpar movies... but his films generally have some style to compensate for their low budgets. It doesn't always work... and it doesn't always work here either... but I appreciate the effort. But "Fistful of Vengeance" is only for those who loved "Wu Assassins" and are willing to lower expectations

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 5, 2022)

*The Batman (2022)* is not going to be for everyone, as it's so stylistically and tonally different from all of its cinematic incarnations. The rating might be PG-13, but make no mistake, this is a bleak serial killer thriller masquerading as a superhero flick. The lengthy running time and deliberate pacing might also alienate audiences too, as I would describe "The Batman" as more suspenseful than exciting. There are some really cool set pieces, this is not an action packed movie. The score is more atmospheric than epic and the sound design was more subdued here than in the trailer. I watched this with my Dad, who didn't like this very much. He thought it was too slow and never really came to life, while I saw it as a nerve-wracking, nail-biting murder mystery... with costumed heroes and villains. I loved the new approach, as to be honest, I'm growing a little tired of comic book movies (especially Batman), so currently favor the ones that try something different. But I completely understand why many will dismiss "The Batman" as boring.

I loved how the presentation of the flick is reminiscent of a horror flick. It's been common knowledge that this incarnation of the Riddler (Paul Dano; who is creepy in his limited screen-time) drew inspiration of the zodiac, but some of his kills reminded me a lot of "Saw". But even our hero, Batman himself is strangely creepy, as the perspective of many scenes are on the villains. The various shots of shadows are ominous and the introduction of the Batmobile was awesome. As I said, the score is atmospheric and adds an ominous pulsing that kept me on edge -- although it rises to an awesome crescendo during the bigger action scenes. The fight choreography is really good, although I still think the sound mixing made them feel more impactful in the trailers. The cinematography is amazing, arguably the best of the franchise and does a great job at making Gotham itself feel like a character. The casting is perfect. I was somewhat surprised when they cast Robert Pattinson in the role, although I wasn't really skeptical as I'd long since realized he was so much more than "Twilight", but he plays the role as unhinged and it works. Many have complained that his 'Bruce Wayne' isn't as good, but I didn't mind as I just don't see where that persona would fit within the story. Zoë Kravitz is a great Catwoman and Colin Farrell is unrecognizable as Penguin. But everyone is great and makes their roles stand out, whether it's Jeffrey Wright as Gordon or John Turturro as Falcone -- the first time I've seen the latter in a dramatic role for awhile. "The Batman" also has a strong story, with an engaging mystery that juggles all its pieces pretty seamlessly. The development of Batman himself was also effective and gives him a different kind of origins story, even though he's been a vigilante for awhile. Not everyone agrees with this, but I never found the story to be overcluttered or under developed.

But I do have some minor complaints. There are a few comic book trappings, where characters survive explosions to the face, etc. I didn't mind the running-time, but did grow a little impatient with the ending. There is a sequel hook that many liked, but I thought reminded me way too much of that "Gotham" TV series. But I still found "The Batman" to be an exceptional film and even if it ends up not being your cup of tea, you'll probably concede that it's at least an exceptionally well made film. Is it my personal favorite? No, "The Dark Knight" still holds that title, but this might be my second.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2022)

*The Adam Project (2022)* is a science fiction actioner from netflix, where Ryan Reynolds plays a time traveling pilot who must team up with his younger self to save the future. Even though this boasted a sizeable budget which showcases plenty of stellar effects work and stylish action scenes -- which has characters wielding f@cking laser blades -- it's the cast that really makes this stand out. Ryan Reynolds is in top form, but the supporting cast all get the opportunities to show off their comedic and dramatic capabilities. Walker Scobell, who is the younger version of Ryan Reynolds's character, arguably steals the show though. That kid was hilarious. "The Adam Project" is really funny, so much so, that the action is arguably underwhelming in comparison. But it also has a heart too. Good stuff.

3/4

*Son of Godzilla (1967)* was arguably a turning point within the franchise, where it would be defined by budget cuts and a willingness to cater towards kids. To be fair, "Son of Godzilla" was the natural progression of the series, which was already heading in this direction, and it really isn't that bad within the context of what it was. I've always had a soft spot for island adventures, even if the setting was probably chosen because it meant a lot less miniatures for the special effects artists to build. The story surrounds a bunch of scientists who use a seemingly abandoned island to test their weather controlling experiments... and accidentally stumble onto Godzilla's son, Minilla. I've never been a fan of Minilla, even as a kid. The design is supposed to be cute, but it's quite off putting. Godzilla doesn't fare much better himself, as this has to be the worst of the Godzilla suits. They redesigned his look and it's neither cool, scary or cute. Just ugly and those dead eyes really jump out at you. There are some iconic and genuinely moving scenes between Father and son though, with their final embrace being a franchise highlight. Kumonga, the giant spider, is one of the more underrated villains of Godzilla's rogue gallery. The design is creepy enough, but it's more menacing than the usual monster because it specifically targets humans and its efforts to eat Minilla are quite suspenseful. The scene where Kumonga kills Kamacuras freaked me out as a kid. "Son of Godzilla" certainly has some bad moments -- try not to laugh when they use a toy to stand in for the female lead at one point -- but it has its charm and... shit was about to get much worse for the franchise.

2.5/4

*Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla (1974)* was probably my favorite Godzilla flick as a kid and it does arguably have the warmest reception amongst the Godzilla films of this era. If nothing else, it is closer to being a return to form following some of Godzilla's weaker and more divisive outings. As an adult, there are a lot of really strange creative choices. The story surrounds a prophecy, where a monster will try to destroy humanity, which is clearly supposed to be Mechagodzilla... but they show Ghidorah for some reason? They reference King Ceasar being able to awaken other monsters, but this doesn't go anywhere and... did Godzilla seriously just make his first appearance popping out of a building? And how does lightning make him magnetic? The plot is messy, the characters are boring and the pacing was choppier than I remembered.

But "Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla" is still awesome.

This is probably my favorite Godzilla suit of the showa era, as he just looks cool and it allows him to show more personality than usual. I loved how the suit actor gave him all sorts of animated body language. Of course -- this obviously marked the shining debut of Mechagodzilla, who would grow into one of Godzilla's most iconic foes. I found it funny how when he's pretending to be Godzilla, he's really campy as if taking the piss out of him, but then displays no real personality once showing his true form. He does have a certain amount of menace though and his arsenal of weapons lead to some of the most memorable action scenes within the franchise. King Ceasar also makes his first appearance, although I'm not really sure why the story needed him... even though he's supposed to be THE story. They build him up so much as this mighty monster, only for him to get his ass kicked by Mechagodzilla. He's still fairly cool and as a kid, I loved watching him and Godzilla unite, but he doesn't really stand out that much compared to Godzilla's other allies. Speaking of which, Anguirus shows up for a quick bout with Mechagodzilla, leading to one traumatic memory for little me. Yikes.

But beyond my obvious fanboying, this is probably Jun Fukuda's best work on the franchise. The special effects are colorful and vibrant, with some really good blocking and set design. The characters might be dull, but the actors playing them are not. Finally, I really dug the soundtrack. It deviates from the norm, which purists might not like, but I thought it reflected the tone perfectly. I'm still humming some of the beats, even as I write this. "Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla" is not necessarily a good movie, but I think it's a good Godzilla movie.

3/4

*The Pirates: The Last Royal treasure (2022) *is another South Korean adventure epic, but this time it's about a dysfunctional alliance between bandits and pirates as they quest for treasure.  There is plenty of action, with sword fighting and cannon fire and naval warfare and ravenous penguins (!!), but "The Last Royal Treasure" is really a comedy. It's very loud and silly, possibly to the point of being outright noisy, but I was consistently amused. The cast looks like they're having a lot of fun and I had fun watching them.

3/4

*The Legendary Strike (1978)* is a kung fu film shot in Tawain, starring Angela Mao, although she isn't technically the main character (Chu Kong is). The story surrounds a pearl dubbed 'the Buddhist relic' that everyone covets for a variety of reasons, some more noble than others. Despite a relatively simple set-up, I was taken aback by how much intrigue was laced within the story, with plenty of twists and turns to be found around every corner. The characters are all shrouded in mystery, but have quite a bit of personality and it was fun watching their dynamics unfold. Unfortunately, there does reach a point where the story flounders and settles for the usual kung fu routine. This isn't too problematic, as the choreography is stellar and the action plentiful, but the ending is so abrupt and unsatisfying that it left me a little disappointed. Still, it just goes to show how invested I really was in the first place.

3/4


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## BlueDemon (Apr 11, 2022)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Adam Project (2022)* is a science fiction actioner from netflix, where Ryan Reynolds plays a time traveling pilot who must team up with his younger self to save the future. Even though this boasted a sizeable budget which showcases plenty of stellar effects work and stylish action scenes -- which has characters wielding f@cking laser blades -- it's the cast that really makes this stand out. Ryan Reynolds is in top form, but the supporting cast all get the opportunities to show off their comedic and dramatic capabilities. Walker Scobell, who is the younger version of Ryan Reynolds's character, arguably steals the show though. That kid was hilarious. "The Adam Project" is really funny, so much so, that the action is arguably underwhelming in comparison. But it also has a heart too. Good stuff.


Watched it the other day, thought the Adam duo was pretty cool, but action etc. pretty forgettable. And even the gags weren't all that great.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 15, 2022)

*Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)* is a science fiction-actioner with laughs, tears, kung fu and a lot of "What the f@ck!?", as befitting of the directors (credited as 'The Daniels'). Michelle Yeoh stars as a tired wife and mother named Evelyn, who's struggling to keep up on her taxes and stressing out over life itself. But it turns out that she is part of the multiverse, where there are an unlimited number of universes, where she lived an infinite number of lives -- and hers happens to be her worst one. But for some reason, that makes her the only candidate to stop a multiverse destroying threat. "Everything Everywhere All at Once" is very much an acquired taste, as the Daniels are prone to weird sight or sound gags seemingly for the sake of being weird. The pacing is also so fast that it isn't really easy to keep up with all of the information, so... I'm still not entirely sure how shoving things up one's butt gives you superpowers, but... Okay. Nevertheless, the action is really stylish, with top notch choreography and inventive touches that keeps the movie continuously unpredictable. 

But even more than that, I have to confess... "Everything Everywhere All at Once" made me shed a few tears. There is a moving and relatable message to be found here and the cast do a phenomenal job at selling it. Michelle Yeoh gets to show a lot more range than I think any of her western outings have allowed her to show. She's funny, pathetic, mean, sexy, everything... everywhere... all at once... But Ke Huy Quan, Stephanie Hsu, Jamie Lee Curtis and James Hong all get an opportunity to shine. I was surprised how much Hong was able to do, considering the man is 93 years old and still able do it. So yeah, "Everything Everywhere All at Once" is an acquired taste, but I guess I have a taste for it.

3.5/4

Reactions: Agree 1


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## dr_shadow (Apr 24, 2022)

Thought I'd go for Zhang Ziyi completionism, so I just saw _The Legend of Zu_ (2001).

Um... "CGI nightmare" is probably the best description.  The whole movie is basically a 100-minute computer generated battle with some actors greenscreened in. I couldn't tell you what the plot is. It's apparently based on some famous Wuxia novel, so maybe if you read the source material it would make sense, but now it just feels like some niche abstract art film.

I have a creeping sensation that I might not like director Tsui Hark, because I also found _Seven Blades _(2005) and _Flying Swords of Dragon Gate_ (2011) to be mediocre. And _The Battle of Lake Changjin _(2021) was co-directed with Chen Kaige, so it doesn't count. I'll have to check out his pre-2000s work before I drop the axe, though; I remember thinking _Once Upon a Time in China _(1991) was alright.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 25, 2022)

dr_shadow said:


> Thought I'd go for Zhang Ziyi completionism, so I just saw _The Legend of Zu_ (2001).
> 
> Um... "CGI nightmare" is probably the best description.  The whole movie is basically a 100-minute computer generated battle with some actors greenscreened in. I couldn't tell you what the plot is. It's apparently based on some famous Wuxia novel, so maybe if you read the source material it would make sense, but now it just feels like some niche abstract art film.
> 
> I have a creeping sensation that I might not like director Tsui Hark, because I also found _Seven Blades _(2005) and _Flying Swords of Dragon Gate_ (2011) to be mediocre. And _The Battle of Lake Changjin _(2021) was co-directed with Chen Kaige, so it doesn't count. I'll have to check out his pre-2000s work before I drop the axe, though; I remember thinking _Once Upon a Time in China _(1991) was alright.



I remember seeing that when it first came out and not liking it. It's funny, because "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" had just made Chinese exports popular, so it got some cool looking trailers for a theatrical release. But then it just got dumped on DVD. But yeah, I recall it being confusing and not being impressed by the action. That whole era of wuxia was defined by bad CGI. "A Man Called Hero" has a battle on the statue of liberty that had some of the worst CGI ever, although I don't recall the rest of the movie being bad.

Tsui Hark had his best run during the 1990's. I think the general consensus is that he started to slip when he moved to Hollywood for awhile. Those movies didn't work and when he returned to China, he never quite could recapture the same magic.

I did like "Detective Dee" though.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 25, 2022)

*Snake Eyes: G.I Joe Origins (2021)* was mauled upon release by critics and G.I Joe purists, although general audiences... just didn't see it...

But I didn't think it was that bad. I have no particular loyalty towards the brand, so I didn't personally care about the alterations made to the characters that set the fandom off -- such as Snake Eyes being Asian, not wearing his trademark mask and speaking. I actually thought he was a surprisingly complex character here, facing plenty of intriguing moral dilemmas and Henry Golding makes for a charismatic leading man. I do have to wonder why they would apparently change the character so much if the marketing campaign is going to be built around him, as it's not like Snake Eyes has a lot of name recognition outside of the G.I Joe brand, but whatever. I did take more of an issue with Tommy (Andrew Koji) and his development into Storm Shadow. There was certainly the blueprint for a good character and Koji's performance was good, but not enough time was spent on setting up the path his character inevitably must take. I did appreciate a lot of the supporting cast though, with Iko Uwais, Peter Mensah and Samara Weaving all being fun to watch.

"Snake Eyes" is prone to sabotaging itself though. Changing Snake Eyes so much was always going to alienate the fandom, but leaning too much on G.I Joe lore is just going to confuse everyone else. I liked Samara Weaving, but all of the G.I Joe references should've been removed, as they just pad out the already bloated running-time. The choreography was really good, with plenty of stylish sword fighting and ninja action. But unfortunately, it's shot and edited like every other Hollywood actioner, taking away much of the films personality. "Ninja Assassin" might be far dumber than this, but at least the action really popped out. 

The funny thing is warts aside, "Snake Eyes" had a surprisingly structured story that had more developments and substance than it necessarily needed. I was convinced from the moment it was announced that "Snake Eyes" was just going to be a quick cash grab that didn't understand what its target audience wanted. But after finally seeing it, I do think the filmmakers genuinely tried to make a good movie and really, it's not bad at all. Most of my criticisms have more to do with why the movie didn't reach its full potential, not why it's a failure.

Although from a marketing perspective, yes, the film was a failure. The brand wasn't necessarily in demand, no one really wanted a prequel, the "G.I Joe Origins" subtitle probably reminded people too much of the lackluster "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and of course, it demands that you be familiar with G.I Joe... while also making Snake Eyes nothing like he is in the source material... This was always going to be a box office bomb -- and that isn't even considering the pandemic. But hey, the movie is still a watchable bomb.

2.5/4

*Brotherhood of Blades (2014)* was a successful, highly acclaimed wuxia about three sword brothers who are drawn into a conspiracy. I can definitely see why everyone loved it, as the characters are well written and their moral quandaries lead to plenty of drama and suspense. You never really know who is capable of backstabbing who, with even the more heroic characters showing the occasional shady side. But then shady characters will also show heroic sides, keeping the viewer on their toes. The production value and direction were also really good, but for some reason... I was left a little underwhelmed by the action. I don't know why, as it was technically really well done, but it never wowed me. Maybe I just didn't take to the CGI flourishes? Maybe too many films would be produced in the wake of "Brotherhood of Blades" that would perfect this style? I don't know, but I still thought "Brotherhood of Blades" has the distinction of being both a good wuxia and just a good overall movie.

3/4 

*Godzilla Vs Hedorah (1971)* might be the most divisive entry within the franchise, with many making fair arguments as to why it's one of the best of the series, or why it's one of the worst. Good or bad, it definitely is weird. A mysterious monster known as Hedorah emerges from the Ocean, seemingly created from pollution. It's up to Godzilla (and humanity) to stop it. I remember this movie by its English title, "Godzilla Vs the Smog Monster" and did like it as a kid. But I never was able to entirely warm up to it as an adult. I certainly can see its cult appeal. Director Yoshimitsu Banno made a lot of... interesting... creative decisions, which you'll either consider to be a breath of fresh or a desecration of the Godzilla franchise. His visual style skews more towards the psychedelic, sometimes being gratuitously trippy. The musical cues are strange and while the score is probably the most derided part of the film, I didn't mind it. I also never minded the heavy-handed message, as this was made for kids... right? It's hard to say, as "Godzilla Vs Hedorah" is much darker than its contemporaries. Humans are shown being explicitly killed in gruesome ways and it's quite disturbing -- no wonder I loved this as a kid. 

My problem with "Godzilla Vs Hedorah" is just that it's kind of boring. Whenever Godzilla and Hedorah face off, half of the action seems to be just them trading insults. This has its charm and is a big reason why the franchise has endured for so long, as these monsters have personalities. But it eventually gets old and when they finally throw down, their movements are sluggish. Perhaps this was another stylistic choice, to emphasize their scale. Or maybe Banno was working with a smaller budget and a shorter shooting schedule, but I often grew impatient. It doesn't help that apparently the Godzilla suit was in poor condition and the Hedorah suit seemed overdesigned to the point of having limited mobility. To the filmmaker's credit, they did cover up the deterioration of the Godzilla suit surprisingly well. Hedorah looks creepy and his scatological attacks are suitably disgusting. I think he's a bit overrated as far as villains go. He's memorable, but I struggle dissociating the monster with the slow paced action. Strangely -- I don't have this issue with Gigan, even though he appeared in much worse films.

"Godzilla Vs Hedorah" will either work on you or it won't. It's different and strange, which I appreciate, but it's not amongst my personal favorite entries within the franchise. 

2/4 

*2 Great Cavaliers (1978)*, also known as "Blade of Fury", is a Taiwanese kung fu flick starring John Liu and Angela Mao as the two great cavaliers... I think... The plot is kind of a mess, attempting to weave a tale of intrigue and mystery, but telling the story in a pretty incoherent way. Apparently there is a list of rebels that the Manchu's want, but they critically wound the guy who knows its location, so then... are trying to stop the one hero who can save him from... saving the guy they need alive? What? I don't know! There are a few shocking twists, but they'll probably elicit more of a "Huh?" than genuine surprise. It doesn't help that the characters themselves are often bafflingly contradictory, doing things that make them seem like a bunch of morons. They're also kind of unlikable. John Liu's leading man is strangely aloof to the plights of his friends, while his friends straight up abduct his girlfriend in an attempt to force him to help. Not very heroic, guys...

Nevertheless, "2 Great Cavaliers" has some merit. Angela Mao is always a captivating presence and John Liu is in fine form, with his kicking skills being on full display... even though his character is apparently known for knife throwing... The choreography doesn't really excel until the climax, where multiple heroes take on one villain in a stunningly coordinated battle that certainly required all of the performers to bring their A-games. But the fights are good enough and there are many of them.

Unfortunately, the version I watched had a rough transfer, at times resembling a copied VHS tape. But "2 Great Cavaliers" is an okay watch for kung fu fans. Especially if you like the cast. 

2.5/4

*Skylines (2020)* is the third entry in the "Skyline" trilogy... Yes, "Skyline (2010)" had sequels... Don't remember the first one? I don't think any of us truly do. It wasn't very good, but it did have above average special effects for a below average budgeted feature. "Beyond Skyline" wasn't necessarily any better, but it was significantly cooler in how bonkers it was, with some surprising story developments and the cast of "The Raid" showing up to engage in kung fu brawls with aliens. F@ck yeah! 

This newest entry lacks Iko Uwais, but Yayan Ruhian has a small role to perform martial arts with f@cking alien appendages for hands. Awesome. Frank Grillo is also absent, but Lindsey Morgan returns as Rose, the human-alien hybrid who can change the tides of the war. She and an assortment of soldiers and hybrids must travel to the alien home world to stop a... pandemic... or some shit. There were a lot of gaps within the narrative, as if some important scenes were left on the editing room floor, making the plot a little difficult to describe. 

"Skylines" isn't quite as fun as "Beyond Skyline", as there are less martial arts and the story doesn't take as many strange turns, but it still sports some decent entertainment value. The choreography is still good and I'll never get enough of seeing humanity combat aliens with kung fu (Silat, technically) -- especially when the first film tried to make the aliens scary. The cast is also enjoying themselves, sometimes a little too much. The visual effects aren't... terrible for a direct-to-DVD movie... but they aren't really good either. I don't know how to grade them, as I'm not sure what the budget was. 

I'd only recommend "Skylines" if you liked "Beyond Skyline", which I'd personally recommend if even if you did not like "Skyline".

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 15, 2022)

I'm a little late to the* Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) *party because I currently have limited access to the internet, so don't expect my usual refined prose (haha) because I'm on my phone.

This was another fun MCU flick, even though it left me a little worried for the future of the franchise. First, the good. When Sam Raimi was hired, I figured they hired the Raimi of "Spider-Man", one of the most acclaimed comic book adaptations to date. But instead, we got... the Raimi of "Evil Dead", which was so much more f@cking awesome. You'll recognize all of his flourishes and horror trappings. The villain even occasionally channels their inner deadite and sometimes... it's even kind of scary. I was taken aback by how gruesome this was. With a few seriously shocking moments. The action scenes were also quite inventive and the effects are good. The cast was good too. But this has become the norm for the MCU.

"Doctor Strange 2" also takes some serious risks, but... even though my lack of internet keeps me from confirming this... I suspect a "The Last Jedi" backlash is coming. Some characters take paths that feel at odds with their overarching development and while the villain cuts an imposing figure, you can make an argument that it's an example of character assassination. I myself am mixed, as their scenes of villainy are thrilling, but their descent into evil felt rushed.

But as I've said, while I had fun with it, I do worry that the MCU is sacrificing story for fanservice pops. "Spider-Man No Way Home" made the crossover stuff work, but are we going to use that for every movie? The last two movies felt a little more like events than actual movies, which used to only be reserved for "The Avengers". Still, it's a concern for the future. Right now, I'm still entertained.

3/4


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## Velocity (May 17, 2022)

*Everything Everywhere All At Once [2022*] is, to be blunt, everything Doctor Strange 2 wishes it had been. In fact it's a pretty strong reminder that the concept of a multiverse is something you can and should play with creatively. This movie is weird and wonderful and beautiful, using its premise to tell a story about family and the pain we suffer quietly, the lives we wish we could have led. Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Qwan and Stephanie Hsu are all just so damn good in this movie, but you can tell why Michelle Yeoh bragged to Jackie Chan about this movie. It's the best one she's ever been in and easily the best movie I've seen this year.

4/4

Reactions: Agree 1


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## MartialHorror (Jun 8, 2022)

*Vanguard (2020)* is the newest collaboration between Jackie Chan and Stanley Tong. It has the dubious honor of being one of Chan's few domestic failures, although to be fair, this probably has less to do with the movie itself and more to do with the pandemic... although to also be fair, the movie itself was pretty bad. I will start off by saying that I don't share a lot of its critics' vitriol. Yes, the movie is very nationalistic... Yes, the villains are all foreign stereotypes and yes, even the foreign allies here are strangely subservient to China, but I didn't mind. Hollywood does it all the time. The "Captain China is mightier than Captain America" line was more amusing than offensive, even if I was laughing at the movie instead of with it. A lot of the derision towards "Vanguard" also comes from the action set pieces, which downplay Jackie's stuntwork and choreography in favor of special effects. Once again, I don't mind this as he's already paid all of those dues and I'd rather he has a long and healthy life. Even if it means we're going to have to swallow a lot more CGI.

WITH THAT SAID...

Couldn't the CGI have been better? The finale showcases some really cool visual ideas involving golden car chases, but the effects are so unconvincing that I felt embarrassed for the filmmakers. I've seen better from the f@cking Asylum. The end credits showcase the outtakes, and I was actually surprised to learn that there were some real stunts, but they bury them in so much CGI that I thought the whole thing was digital. Now for the record, there are still some martial arts to be found and the choreography is fine, with even Jackie himself getting involved, but these scuffles are clearly not the meat and potatoes. The CGI set pieces are and they are bad. Now the plotting, characters, performances and comedy are very much reminiscent of 1990's Jackie Chan. Very dramatic, broad, silly, farfetched and with terrible performances from the non-Chinese actors -- which I personally could live with. But the pacing sucks even more than the CGI! I seriously thought we had reached the climax around the 45 F@CKING MINUTE mark, so spent the rest of the movie exhausted. It made for an overall lackluster experience.

1.5/4

*Twin Dragons (1992) *is another Jackie Chan movie, with this outing being built around the gimmick of not one... BUT TWO Jackie Chan's, where he plays twins separated at birth. One grows up with a wealthy family and learns to play the piano, the other grows up on the streets, learning kung fu. I remember when this was released in the United States, although I missed its theatrical run. I liked it, even if as a kid, I was bummed over Jackie Chan not having a fight scene with... Jackie Chan... I mean, that seemed like the whole point of using a doppelganger gimmick. But as an adult... I still think it's kind of a waste. "Twin Dragons" relies a lot on a single joke -- one fight, one can't. It grew old after awhile, although the movie does find ways of making it funny again during the finale.  The final action set piece is awesome, showcasing plenty of insane stunts. Tsui Hark and Ringo Lam were credited as the directors, with Tsui Hark presumably focusing on the (somewhat lackluster) effects and Ringo Lam handling the action. The choreography is somewhat unique for Chan, as he's more aggressive in his fighting style. The tone is still comical though, arguably even more than usual.  Some of the humor can get a little problematic and the plot doesn't always make sense, at least in the international version (which removes 15 minutes of material). I don't think "Twin Dragons" is one of Jackie's better movies, but it was made in what was arguably his best period, so it's still pretty solid.,

2.5/4

*Brotherhood of Blades II: The Infernal Battlefield (2014)* is a prequel to "Brotherhood of Blades", with Chang Chen reprising his role as Shen Lian, who is drawn into a conspiracy surrounding a mysterious painter (Yang Mi). This has all of the production value of its predecessor and then some, including more thrilling action scenes. The choreography had more of a variety with the weaponry and each set piece, whether it was a larger scale battle or a duel, was more memorable than its predecessor -- at least in my opinion. The plot isn't as good though. From a narrative standpoint, it covers a lot of the same beats, but the narrative didn't flow quite as smoothy. I was often left confused by the twists and turns. I also don't quite see how this fit as a prequel, as Shen Lian's character arc is more-or-less the same here, meaning that he kind of regresses before the events of the first film... So I prefer the plotting of the first film, but the action of the second one.

3/4

*Sabotage (1996)* is a surprisingly stellar direct-to-video thriller starring martial arts star Mark Dacascos... who only occasionally showcases his martial arts abilities here... but the rest of the movie was much better than it needed to be. Dacascos plays a disgraced special ops agent who is drawn into a web of conspiracy. None of the twists and turns are particularly shocking, but there's a great cast here, including Carrie-Anne Moss, Graham Greene, John Neville and Tony Todd -- who arguably steals the show as the villain. But Moss, Greene and Neville all excel too, with fine characterizations and snappy dialogue. "Sabotage" also has a good sense of pacing and decent suspense, although it has only one major failing...

It's just too damned cheap!

The limited production values really hold "Sabotage" back. The cinematography, the music and the editing just feel very rough around the edges, with the director's stylistic flourishes looking kind of hokey because they couldn't afford much else. But "Sabotage" had a good script, with a cast who clearly believed in it and that was my takeaway from it.

3/4 

"*Twin Warriors*" was originally released as "Tai Chi Master" in Hong Kong, but I've only ever been able to watch the Hollywood cut, so that's what I shall review. Jet Li and Chin Siu Ho star as a pair of sworn brothers who grew up together in the Shaolin Temple, but find themselves on very different paths that will inevitably turn them into sworn enemies. Directed and choreographed by Yuen Woo Ping, "Twin Warriors" is about awesome as one would hope from when all of this talent is involved -- oh yeah, Michelle Yeoh is here too. Everyone gets to show off their agility and skills. The action has impact because it knows when to undercrank the camera and when to use slow motion, making everyone look fast and powerful. There's also above average production values, with plenty of extras and costumes. There's a lot of really coordinated stunt work with large groupings of people, with "Twin Warriors" always somehow managing to up itself.

Now I will say that the story wasn't quite as effective as I had remembered. The tragedy of these two friends becoming enemies certainly has potential for drama, but it loses some of its impact when one friend was clearly a rotten egg from the beginning. It was never a question of "if" he would betray him, but "when". "Twin Warriors" doesn't really need a stronger narrative though, as the fight scenes are more than capable of doing the heavy lifting.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 8, 2022)

*Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) *is definitely cut from the same cloth as "Thor: Ragnarok", but isn't quite as good, working better in parts than as a whole. Much like its predecessor, it's very funny. There were many gags or quips that kept me laughing, even when they arguably should've ceased being funny. I dug the weird love triangle between Thor and... his weapons... There was one comedic moment that really missed the mark for me, involving a short appearance from Sif, because it for some reason reminded me way too much of that "Meet the Spartans" parody, but usually I laughed when I was supposed to laugh. Chris Hemsworth continues to be funny and he plays off the rest of the cast all too well, whether it's with Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie or the Guardians in the Galaxy (in a cameo). Russell Crowe was also amusing as Zeus and Natalie Portman... I'll come back to her. The action scenes were good, but was it just me, or did the visual style in general seem a lot less memorable this time around? Same with the soundtrack. Both are fine, but after the end credits started to roll, it just dawned on me that neither really popped out like "Ragnarok" did.

But the real problem with "Love and Thunder" was also a problem shared with "Ragnarok". The humor might be funny, but it's very at odds with the story it's trying to tell. Natalie Portman is really good in this movie, but her character is going through some... serious shit, shall we say... Shit that's arguably too dark for such a silly feature. This is even more noticeable with Gor, Thor's new arch nemesis, played by Christian Bale. He's actually a REALLY creepy villain, but the goofy shenanigans keep undercutting his presence... and his presence sometimes is a damper on the goofy shenanigans. Cate Blanchett's villain had a similar problem in the previous movie.

The more I think about, the more I start to wonder if "Love and Thunder" is one of the MCU's lesser efforts. From a storytelling perspective, it definitely is, but the humor also elevates it from the more mediocre entries.

2.5/4


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## Canute87 (Jul 10, 2022)

BlueDemon said:


> Watched Shang-Chi this weekend and I also enjoyed it, the martial arts choreography definitely made it stand out as far as action scenes go in the MCU.


Brad allen was oversaw it,  no wonder it was so damn good.

he died though

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## MartialHorror (Aug 2, 2022)

*Kiss of the Dragon (2001) *stars Jet Li and was produced by Luc Besson, so yes... It's a French movie, filmed in English, headlined by a Chinese guy. I remember thinking this was awesome when I first saw it, but every subsequent viewing (4?) has spotlighted its flaws because film criticism... is sometimes just not very fun... But I'd still champion "Kiss of the Dragon" as one of Jet Li's cooler English language films. The key word here is 'cool', not to be confused with 'good', although that is still dependent on how you choose to view it. From a martial arts standpoint, it's pretty f@cking awesome. Jet Li does so many bad-ass things and the movie adds a few creative touches to his arsenal, primarily the use of acupuncture. The French have their own ways of shooting and editing action scenes, with many stylish flourishes that add to the choreography. I don't consider these fight scenes to be amongst Jet Li's best, but they do stand out as different from his usual presentation. His final battle with the twins (one played by Cyril Raffaelli of "District 13" fame) was classic though. Raffaelli's backwards somersault kick was amazing.

But if you want anything more, "Kiss of the Dragon" doesn't offer much else. Jet Li's kung fu does the bulk of his acting here, but his role is boring. Bridget Fonda skirts the line between charming and annoying, but Li has no chemistry with her. The plot is so forgettable that I always forget what it's supposed to be about between viewings... and I've seen this at least four times since 2001... but f@ck me, I always remember Jet Li kicking that pool ball out of its pocket and then using his other foot to kick it into some guys head. I remember Raffaelli's backwards somersault kick. And that's what really matters in life.

3/4

*Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)* was the much-hyped sequel to "Charlie's Angels" (2000)", promising to be bigger and badder... and I guess it was both of those things, albeit maybe not in the ways the producers hoped it would be. The movie grossed about as much as its predecessor did, but the budget had increased so much that profits were minimal, which killed the franchise (for awhile). The filmmakers try to hide the empty story behind CGI set pieces, gratuitous cameos and the sex appeal of its leading ladies, but... it wasn't enough... So much of this movie is filler. I spent most of the running-time wondering why whole scenes were even there, like John Cleese as Lucy Liu's Father or the whole subplot with the Thin Man (Crispin Glover). I thought it was funny how Madison (Demi Moore) turning out to be a villain is treated as a big twist, but I remember the trailers making that a major selling point... and why else would Demi Moore be here if she wasn't the antagonist? She only has one scene before the final act anyway. The action scenes are even hokier than they were before, downplaying the choreography of the first film in favor of CGI. There are a few good stunts, but the effects usually overtake them. 

Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu are having a lot of fun though -- maybe too much? "Full Throttle" might really be referring to the acting here, as everyone is crazy over-the-top. Their enthusiasm, admittedly, is probably what keeps this from completely sucking. All three of them are simply too charismatic together to be boring, even if their overacting sometimes left me exhausted. Bernie Mac's Bosley was annoying though, although to be fair, so was Bill Murray's incarnation before him. "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" is very high energy, if nothing else, which will either make it tolerable or very intolerable for you. But the entirety of it felt like a collection of moments -- either a set piece, gag or an excuse to show off the bodies of the leading ladies -- that were barely connected together. It's just not a very good movie. 

1.5/4 

*The Princess (2022)* is about a Princess (Joey King) who finds herself locked in a tower, forced into marriage with the tyrannical Lord Julious (Dominic Cooper). She waits for her valiant... sword... and fights her way out herself! Directed by Le-Van Kiet ("Furie") and marking his Hollywood debut, "The Princess" boasts a really fun concept. It's "The Raid", except with a fairy tail Princess. Unfortunately, the overall movie is pretty mediocre. The action is plentiful, but never rises above being just 'fine'. The budget was obviously small, so expect limit sets and costumes. There isn't much to the story beyond the gimmick. The cast is having fun though. I had some fun here too, but it's an overall somewhat underwhelming experience. 

2/4

*Gundala (2019) *is an Indonesian 'neo-noir' superhero movie, from... horror maestro Joko Anwar ("Satan's Slaves")... designed to set up something called the "Bumilangit Cinematic Universe", which I guess will be adaptations of Indonesian comic books. This was a pretty bad-ass introduction to a new franchise, although it's certainly not perfect. The plot is overstuffed and if you're not familiar with the source material, some of the world building might confuse you... as it did me... The ending in particular made me go "WTF", but hey, I'm interested in seeing what happens next. Sancaka (Abimana Aryasatya) is a tough-as-nails loner who survived a difficult childhood, but finds himself pushed into becoming a hero when he develops lightning-based superpowers. The special effects aren't great, but it's as if the filmmakers understood that they probably wouldn't have state of the art CGI at their disposal.

.. So they kind of just made a martial arts movie instead. SOLD!

The choreography has a smooth flow , but what makes "Gundala" unique is that the fighters aren't particularly graceful in performing it. I actually really dug this, as it made the fights seem more real. The punches look like real punches. The kicks look like real kicks. Furthermore, there are a few nice touches like the hero visibly running out of breath during the finale. It adds to the tension, but the choreography remains exciting. The lightning powers serve as more of a climax to some of the major battles, but it is sort of strange how no one seems phased by it. The thugs he fights don't hesitate in charging him after witnessing him fire f@cking lightning at people. "Gundala" is also somewhat tonally challenged. It's a very bleak movie and sometimes it's strange how seriously it takes itself. I mean, the imdb plot description includes "diabolical squad of orphan assassins". How can I not laugh at that? But still... "Gundala" works where it needs to work. It's different, has something to say and doesn't shortchange its audience in the action department. Even its flaws have a charm to them. I liked it.

3/4 

*The Bodyguard 2 (2007)* is a prequel to "The Bodyguard"... No, not the one starring Kevin Costner, but the one starring Petchtai Wongkamlao ("Ong Bak"). I didn't really care for the first one, but apparently it was a huge hit in Thailand, so this follow-up boasted the largest budget a Thai production had ever seen at that point. My problem with "The Bodyguard 2" is that it relies a lot on Thai pop culture, so there's a lot of cameos and in-jokes I'm just not going to understand. But if you liked the first one, this is definitely cut from the same cloth. The joke is that comedian Petchtai Wongkamlao is a bad-ass action star. The humor is very loud and broad, eventually plunging the narrative off the rails during the finale. Tony Jaa returns for another cameo and steals the show with his martial arts. But to the credit of   Petchtai Wongkamlao, he handles himself very well for his own fight scenes... or the editors handled his stunt double very well... "The Bodyguard 2" has its moments; it just went over my head for the most part.

1.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Aug 3, 2022)

Guandala is a proper hidden gem like, and it's such a shame that it hasn't got a name among superhero fans (yet). It's great, it's different and it feels fresh, both due to the fact that I'm not familiar with the source material, but also because it's written and directed by none other than the great Joko Anwar, and it shows as it's got his identity written all over it. I'm really excited to see where the Bumilangit Cinematic Universe goes next, and unless I am mistaken Sri Asih should be out this year.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Rukia (Aug 4, 2022)

Bullet Train any good?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 5, 2022)

@Rukia

*Bullet Train (2022)* is a high energy chaotic mess that is either a lot of fun or nowhere near as much fun as it thinks it is -- but I had a blast. Brad Pitt plays (codename) "Ladybug", sent to retrieve a briefcase on a bullet train travelling from Tokyo to Kyoto. It seems like a simple job, but it turns out that the train is full of assassins with their own designs on the briefcase. The action scenes are stylish, violent and choreographed enough to qualify it for a review. There are a lot of bloody gunfights, knife fights and even a few swordfights, because every Hollywood-produced movie set in Japan must have at least some Japanese iconography. It's all good stuff, balancing thrills with comedy pretty seamlessly. But the cast was what made this work for me. Brad Pitt is hilarious as the hapless assassin who is perpetually exasperated at the mayhem surrounding him, but I also really dug Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry as the so called 'twins'. Their banter is strange, unpredictable and hilarious. There's a lot of other familiar faces and names, with everyone getting plenty of memorable lines or encounters... although why was Karen Fukuhara ("The Boys") cast as a simple concession's girl? That was a waste.

Some felt like the movie ran for too long, but I never grew exhausted from it. I can certainly see why others would feel that way though, as it rarely stops for a breather and the pacing is about as fast as an actual bullet train. The critical reception wasn't very positive and while I haven't read any reviews myself, I'm going to guess that "Bullet Train" feels too derivative of Guy Ritchie's works for their tastes? I can certainly see the comparisons. I myself often thought of "Smokin' Aces", which itself was kind of a Guy Ritchie rip-off. Maybe "Bullet Train" is just a simple case of style over substance, but I don't mind as long as the style keeps me engaged. I found the movie to be funny and fun.

3/4

Reactions: Agree 1


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## MartialHorror (Aug 27, 2022)

*Dragonball Super: Super Hero (2022) *is the latest 'Dragonball Z' movie, except instead of Goku and Vegeta driving the action, this time the focus is on Piccolo and Gohan. It should be noted that while I grew up on the world of Dragonball, I never really could get into "Dragonball Super" as a series. I didn't like the goofier tone, the excessive and unimaginative transformations or the cheap looking animation. I did enjoy the movies a lot more, mostly because of the increased production value, but I'm not sure if I liked their growing dependance on nostalgia. So imagine my surprise when I ended up really enjoying this. 

"Super Hero" was animated completely with 3D CGI, but even though I'm a traditionalist with a preference for hand drawn animation, I thought "Super Hero" made the CGI part of its style. The fight scenes were fluid and showcased a few creative flourishes that might not have worked with Dragonball's traditional animations. The new character designs are fun. Gamma 1 and 2, Dr. Hedo, Magenta... they look really cool and have engaging personalities. One of the things I hated about "Dragonball Super" was how it made serious characters into goofballs, but I have to admit... Piccolo ended up being a comedic goldmine. His reactions to everything are priceless. The transformations are also creatively designed... at least more than anything else "Super" has yet to offer. Now as this is a Dragonball property, don't expect much in the way of story. There is more of a plot than the first two "Super" movies and it's better structured than the Broly one, but I'd still sum most of it up as fanservice. If you're not into Dragonball, you're not going to get anything out of this. But if you are, "Dragonball Super: Super Hero" is a lot of fun.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 23, 2022)

*Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022)* is a pseudo remake of "Blazing Saddles", except with Samurai instead of Sherriffs, cats and dogs instead of race... and it's animated... but the story hits nearly all of the same beats and even a lot of the same gags are used. "Paws of Fury" is honest in its desire to homage though, with Mel Brooks himself getting a small part as the Shogun. The problem, unfortunately, is that it makes absolutely no sense to adapt "Blazing Saddles" for kids. They aren't going to understand the references, while their parents might be alarmed that jokes involving racial slurs from "Blazing Saddles" are being repurposed for a kids film. That almost seems like a joke in itself, but "Paws of Fury" is so dependent on cheesy puns that I have to assume it was meant for a younger audience. Adults will likely find that annoying. So who was this for? Kids won't get half of it, while adults will find the other half to be kind of grating. 

2/4 

*The Swordsman (2020*) can best be described as a South Korean "Taken", except set during the Joseun period. Okay, it might be a lot more complicated, with there being a lot of political intrigue surrounding the Qing Dynasty's occupation of Joseon, but at its core -- just a Dad trying to save his daughter from being sold into slavery. Yet Tae-yul (Jang Hyuk) is not just any Dad, but an exceptionally skilled swordsman who used to protect the King. His past injuries have caught up with him though and his eyesight is failing him. This made for plenty of suspense and drama, but f@ck me, the fight scenes were awesome. It's so satisfying watching him cut down people who very much deserve it; their fear making it so much sweeter. The plot is a little convoluted, but not uninteresting. The biggest problem with "The Swordsman" is... well... the title. It's such a generic sounding one that even though the movie itself was highly entertaining, I'll probably forget what it's called because of all the other movies called "The Swordsman".

3.5/4  

*Twins Mission (2007) *stars the popular Cantonese pop duo, the 'Twins' (Gillian Chung and Charlene Choi), and apparently this entire movie is meant to be both a homage and parody of them. This might explain why I had absolutely no idea what the f@ck was going on, as I'm not familiar with their music. The story was all over the place and made no sense. Half of the time, I couldn't even figure out what the punchlines to these jokes were. I was just lost. The 'twins' are supposed to be the stars, but they barely factor into the story until around the halfway point. The perspectives change a lot, with seemingly every single one being more relevant to the plot than our actual heroines. "Twins Mission" is also very broad. The drama is overwrought to the point of being funny and the comedy was too silly to be funny -- to me, anyway. If nothing else, the 'Twins' themselves are charming. There's also Sammo Hung, Yuen Wah and Wu Jing, so you know the fight scenes will be good. I just wish I could keep up with the rest of it! 

2/4 

*The Paper Tigers (2020)* is a kung fu 'dramedy', with a cool behind-the-scenes story. The filmmakers had to endure being rejected by the studio system after refusing to whitewash their characters but found funds through private donors and crowd sharing. It's also really quite good, with strong characters, authentic looking fight scenes and a heartfelt message. There's even technically a murder mystery, as the plot surrounds three has-been gung-fu practitioners whose teacher is found dead. They suspect foul play, but "The Paper Tigers" is less interested in the whodunit aspect of the story and more in both the humor and pathos to be found in three middle-aged men who are out-of-practice re-entering the kung fu world. 

3/4  

*Fullmetal Alchemist: The Revenge of Scar (2022) *is the sequel to the 2017 live-action "Fullmetal Alchemist" movie, which I remember thinking was... kind of bad... but it must've been financially successful, as it's now a trilogy. The CGI is still unconvincing, although it's the bad wigs and campy costumes that are always throwing me off. The cast look too much like cosplayers of their characters to be taken seriously, although they try. Sometimes they even try too hard, as watching them put on the waterworks and ramble about the horrors of war, while dressed like that is... kind of hilarious. The story is technically faithful to the source, but it's all condensed and rushed to where you'd have to be familiar with the source just to understand what is happening. 

In spite of all of this, I think I prefer "The Revenge of Scar" a hair more than the first film. The action somehow manages to be OK in spite of the weak effects and never seems to stop. Ryôsuke Yamada has begun to win me over as Edward Elric. The blond hair might look strange on him, but he does nail the personality of the character, warts and all. I also enjoyed Ling Yao (Keisuke Watanabe). In fact, the casting is mostly on point, even if they're upstaged by their costumes. "Fullmetal Alchemist: The Revenge of Scar" is only worth watching if you like the 2017 film... and only comprehensible to those who followed the manga (or the "Brotherhood" anime), yet I'll probably see the 3rd one one when it's available. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 5, 2022)

*The Woman King (2022)* is an old-fashioned epic, albeit with a different setting, race and gender than what we're used too. The Agojie were the real life all-female military regiment of Dahomey, a Kingdom of Africa. Nawi (Thuso Mbedu) joins their ranks and develops a somewhat tumultuous bond with their leader, General Nanisca (Viola Davis). As befitting of a good epic, there is a lot of sweeping cinematography, vibrant costumes and sets, powerful performances -- you know some are going to get Oscar nods -- and intense action set pieces. This is not a martial arts film, but these battles are intrinsically choreographed. There's a variety of methods of combat on display, with some distinct weaponry, impressive takedowns and a bloody use of... fingernails... But "The Woman King" is more than its action. It has a lot of heart and desires to be both tearjerking and inspiring.  

This isn't to say that "The Woman King" is perfect. The big controversy surrounds its historical accuracy. While the movie does address Dahomey's involvement in the Atlantic slave trade, it also changes the facts to serve a narrative. Many are uncomfortable with slavers being glorified in this way. I myself wasn't offended, as most films with the "based on a true story" moniker are guilty of this. Most of histories heroes are 'problematic'. I just look at it all as storytelling, but I get it. A movie is more than just a movie -- it's an experience that draws in all of its surroundings, from the people behind-the-scenes to the modern political climate to the actual history which inspired it. I won't begrudge anyone for being offended... unless you're one of those assholes feigning outrage because you hate all these 'woke'.

But the movie on its own is very good. It's nice that a mid-budgeted movie like this is finding success. 

3/4 

*Paradox (2017)* is the third entry in Wilson Yip's "SPL" film series, which was retitled "Kill Zone" in the United States. Both sequels are in-name-only though, telling their own stories. This can be a little confusing as these movies do share a lot of the same cast, just playing different characters. "Paradox" seems to be drawing inspiration from "Taken". Louis Koo stars as Hong Kong police inspector Lee Chung-chi, whose daughter (Hanna Chan) is abducted in Thailand. He embarks on a violent investigation, assisted by local detective Chui Kit (Wu Yue). There's also Tony Jaa as another detective, who apparently is psychic... for some reason... Honestly, as simplistic as the story sounds, it's told in a disjointed and convoluted fashion. I love me some Tony Jaa, but his character probably did not need to be there. The acting is really good though, often overcoming the messy writing. Louis Koo really put me through an emotional ringer.  

The thing about the "SPL"/"Kill Zone" movies is that even though they do have quality martial arts fight sequences, they're really bleak dramas crossed with police procedurals -- where the characters all happen to know kung fu. You have to be patient to get to the action, but if you are... HOLY SHIT THAT WAS F@CKING AWESOME. Sammo Hung choreographed it, but not only are the fights fast paced, brutal and show off plenty of stylish maneuvers, they incorporate their surroundings in an awe-inspiring way. Characters don't just fight, they often fight in cramped quarters and crowded spaces, which requires a shit ton of coordination. Tony Jaa's character might be superfluous, but he does arguably have the coolest moment. So overall, "Paradox" might be the weakest of the three movies, but it also might have the best fight scenes -- even if it's still more about quality than quantity. None of these movies are easy to recommend because it comes down to what you want out of them, but if you liked the others or this at least sounds compelling, it might be worth a look.

3/4  

*Monster Hunt 2 (2018)* is about as annoying... and begrudgingly charming... as its 2015 predecessor. Both films feature loud and juvenile comedy, but also boast heart and enough cuteness to overcome the bad CGI. There isn't as much action this time around though and what we get isn't anywhere near as stylish. The story isn't also as focused, often splaying out in unnecessary directions. Bai Baihe and Jing Boran reprise their roles as the monster hunting parents of a monster -- Wuba -- but their roles are somewhat downplayed compared to the first film. The new human protagonist is a con-artist named Tu (Tony Leung), who runs into Wuba and drafts him into his cons. Eric Tsang and Sandra Ng are demoted into cameos. "Monster Hunter 2" isn't what I'd call "good", but it has an appeal. Especially for kids. 

2/4  

*Snake Deadly Act (1980)* has a plot... it just takes about half of the movie to get there... A young martial artist (Chan Lung) finds himself learning the deadly snake style from a mysterious teacher (Hark-On Fung), whose motives might not be benevolent. For the first forty-five minutes, there isn't really much of a narrative. Our hero goes around starting shit, sometimes coming out on top, other times eating a slice of humble pie. A lot of time is spent on setting up characters you think will be important, partially because they're played by recognizable actors such as Angela Mao or Bolo Yeung, but they usually only last a scene or two. The story -- besides being minimal -- is also strangely cynical. No one is particularly likable. Even our hero is kind of a dick. 'Snake Deadly Act" had a lot of potential for drama, but kept sabotaging itself. We know from the first scene that our hero's eventual Father and his eventual Master are both rotten. A more compelling story would've made the master more conflicted, or spent some time with Father-and-son, so the betrayal would sting more. But nope, ignore all of that in favor of kung fu.

Which admittedly is why we watch these things, but STILL.

Yeah, there is a lot of action and it gets progressively better with each fight. I thought the snake style had been done to death by this point, but "Snake Deadly Act" makes its techniques look really cool. Somehow, even 'lobster style' looks bad-ass enough to be taken seriously. The highlight though was the training sequence, which was really creative and kind of brutal. "Snake Deadly Act" is one of those kung fu flicks that can only be enjoyed by genre enthusiasts, as the kung fu itself is good, but the rest of the movie is not. On another note, even though I watched the dubbed version, sometimes the transfer switched it out with the original language track. Strange.

2.5/4 

*Fullmetal Alchemist: The Final Transmutation (2022) *concludes the trilogy that began with the 2017, live-action "Fullmetal Alchemist" adaptation and it's very... long... and maybe even a little worse than its predecessors. The inherited flaws are even more egregious. The gaps within the narrative are so wide that even someone who followed the manga and/or anime might be confused. Important events occur off-screen, but it's just kind of assumed that you'll know what happened, because you either read the manga or watched the anime. But because it condenses the entire 2nd half of the source material, the way it unfolds sometimes makes no sense. Characters travel across the globe and back -- seemingly within seconds. Very little was done to convey a passage of time. It's just... bad. 

I would like to take a moment and change my rating of "The Revenge of Scar" from a 1.5/4 to a 2/4. Yes, it was an awkwardly compressed mess, but I did have a little bit of fun with it. There was some cool action scenes and the cast had grown on me. "The Final Transmutation" is much more serious, so the cast has less room to be fun. The action scenes required more CGI -- and it still isn't very good -- so they weren't that entertaining either. Every single fated battle that this whole trilogy has been arguably building up towards ends up being very unsatisfying. "The Final Transmutation" simply sucked on nearly every front. And it's almost 2 and a half hours long.

1/4


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## dr_shadow (Dec 19, 2022)

A Chinese tabloid story just drew my attention to the fact that Jet Li (59) has all but vanished.

Up to 2013 he would reliably appear in at least one movie per year, even after his 2006 retirement from stunts. But after 2013 he has only done *two *roles: _League of Gods_ (2016) and Disney's live-action _Mulan_ (2020).

Most seem to speculate that his semi-retirement is due to some kind of health problem. But I'll chime in that his near-disappearance also coincides with Xi Jinping becoming the ruler of China in 2012. So could be some kind of boycott against the stricter censorship regime? Slightly before that Li had also renounced his Chinese citizenship to become a Singaporean national in 2009; this might have been perceived as a sort of betrayal by Beijing and made it harder for him to get work in the PRC.

I might watch his complete works for his 60th birthday, April 26, 2023.

---

Edit: It could also be that he simply felt that his _50th_ birthday in 2013 was a good, round age to retire at; even if the male retirement age is 60 in China and 63 in Singapore.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Dec 20, 2022)

dr_shadow said:


> A Chinese tabloid story just drew my attention to the fact that Jet Li (59) has all but vanished.
> 
> Up to 2013 he would reliably appear in at least one movie per year, even after his 2006 retirement from stunts. But after 2013 he has only done *two *roles: _League of Gods_ (2016) and Disney's live-action _Mulan_ (2020).
> 
> ...



Could be. You never really know when it comes to the Chinese Government. 

On the other hand, the last few times I've seen him he looked unhealthy. In Mulan, at one point it sounded like his voice was dubbed too, so maybe he simply did retire for health reasons.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2022)

*The Big 4 (2022) *is from director Timo Tjahjanto ("The Night Comes for Us"), although it's much more of a comedy... still insanely violent though. Most of the action involves shoot-outs and explosions, but there is a a decent amount of stylish and bloody martial arts too -- even some gun fu! The humor is a little too broad for my tastes, with lots of mugging and silly running gags. The director at one point even lampoons his horror film, "May the Devil Take You", in a bit that's... almost funny? That sums up most of the comedy, in my opinion. The jokes almost work, but they either go on for too long or don't go on long enough, which is strange as I thought the characters were generally amusing. "The Big 4" is long, noisy, gratuitous and overly indulgent to the point of nearly becoming a Michael Bay movie. But the fights were cool.

2.5/4 

*Morbius (2022)* isn't as terrible as its reputation suggests, but it's so bland that I found myself wishing it was. This is set in the same cinematic universe as "Venom", which focuses on Spider-Man's rogues gallery... without Spider-Man? I guess? Maybe later. Morbius is a doctor trying to find a cure for his rare blood disease, which leads him to experimenting with vampire bat blood -- which totally will not turn him into a vampire (it does). Even though Morbius is a Spider-Man villain, he's somehow even less of an anti-hero than "Venom" was. He actually seems like quite a good guy, making the whole concept kind of pointless. But... honestly... I can't think of anything really positive or negative to say. The script goes through all the same motions that all of these movies do, only arguably getting stupid with the end credits stingers. Everything else feels kind of half-baked and empty, making it hard to get invested in or hate. The action was... fine... The visual effects were... OK... The cast is wasted, albeit solid. Jared Leto is a compelling character actor, but I don't know if he has leading man charisma. I did like Matt Smith as his foil though, even if the character often makes little sense. The horror stylings mostly just gave the movie a drab aesthetic, but "Morbius" occasionally allows itself to be atmospheric. For the most part though, it just kind of exists, only to be remembered for the memes it would inspire.

2/4 

*Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2007)* is my personal favorite entry in the franchise, even though I'll agree that the first one is probably the better movie. But this sequel pops out more to me on a personal level. I actually like where all of the character journeys go, with certain returning members being given more intriguing conflicts and more personal stakes. The action scenes are amazing. The photorealistic visual effects were ground breaking for the time and hold up very well to this day. Davie Jones isn't just a captivating villain, but a technical marvel. There is also plenty of swordfighting, filling up many ambitious set pieces. I also like how "Dead Man's Chest" is a little scarier than its predecessor. That doesn't make it better, but it makes it more... me... Now the first film is definitely more structurally sound. I never really like it when sequels separate the cast, depriving us of their chemsistry. The whole 'cannibal tribe' segment was also superfluous and problematic... even if I still thought it was fun. I get a lot of the complaints and agree that they probably reinforce why the first film is superior, but like I said... "Dead Man's Chest" just entertained me more. Plus, that final shot.

*chef's kiss*

3.5/4 

*Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2008)* might have been the first movie to give me legit anxiety in the build-up to its release. "Dead Man's Chest" left me pumped for this sequel, but I can vividly remember hearing reports of a troubled production and the budget ballooning out of control (this being the most expensive film at its time). It didn't help that the marketing campaign seemed delayed, releasing a trailer at what felt like the very last minute. I was beginning to worry that "At World's End" would be a disappointment.

And it was! 

But time arguably has been kind to "At World's End". Being followed by two even worse sequels will definitely do that for you, but more than that, revisiting this "trilogy" has made me realize... special effects kind of suck these days... I consider myself a huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but that franchise no longer really desires to push the boundaries of visual effects. They seem content with "good enough", because they don't have to be any better (right now). People will watch them anyway. But the "Pirates" movies don't just have really convincing effects, they also favor the cutting edge. There is so much detail in the CGI, which is designed to elicit a variety of emotions beyond "that's cool". There's also a lot of crazy practical effects which rely on so much insane stuntwork. During 2008, I took this for granted because it lacked that 'oomph' than the Kraken provided. But now? "At World's End" looks like it was the most expensive film of its time. I feel like I can see every dollar on frame. It's... strange... how the following "On Stranger Tides" would have an even bigger budget -- still the biggest of all time -- and look significantly cheaper.

There's also really good choreography and music too, but "At World's End" is definitely the weakest of the Gore Verbinski trilogy. The story simply has too many moving pieces, with many of them getting unsatisfactory conclusions (Norrignton, Swan, the Kraken...). It's still fun watching all of the cast interact and conspire against each-other, although the ending does have a few silly moments at the expense of Davie Jones. I still enjoyed the movie and definitely appreciate it more now than I did in 2008. It does have that larger than life energy that its predecessors had... and its successors lack... 

3/4 

*Blade of the 47 Ronin (2022)* is a sequel to "47 Ronin (2013)" -- WAIT, WHAT!? The shitty box office bomb starring Keanu Reeves? That "47 Ronin"?! WHY!? WHO WAS ASKING FOR THIS!? Um... Okay... I knew that it would use the historical "47 Ronin" tale as its base, but imagine my surprise when they start name dropping Keanu Reeves's (completely fictional) character and using magic... which I assume the real 47 Ronin did not face... Wow, just wow. "Blade of the 47 Ronin" is set during modern times, so don't expect to see Keanu Reeves or a budget. Luna (Anna Akana) is a scrappy thief trying to hawk a sword, but ends up getting involved in a war between samurai and witches. One of the stranger parts of "Blade of the 47 Ronin"... besides it being a f@cking sequel to "47 Ronin"... is watching characters dress and talk like they're in feudal Japan, while also riding on the subway. Not everyone does this either, which makes the samurai and ninja look really out of place... even though I think they're supposed to be blending in to modern society? Eh, the story doesn't make much sense anyway. There even appear to be gaps within the narrative, seemingly styled this way to get to the action quicker... although maybe they had just run out of money? The fights aren't much, although to be fair, I think the choreography was sound. I was under the impression that the budget meant for little rehearsal time, so everyone does the best they can. There are even a few cool moments, but for the most part... the filmmakers rely a lot on visual effects they can't afford. But do you know what I've come to realize?

For all the shit that I'm slinging... I kind of liked it? 

I might -- MIGHT! MIGHT, DAMN YOU -- even prefer it to its big budgeted predecessor. "Blade of the 47 Ronin" fails a lot, especially when it's trying to be dramatic. The cast just can't usually pull off the heavier material, not helped by their dialogue, but they are genuinely amusing. I'm not even saying this at their expense. Their comedic timing was on point and made a lot of the badness go down easier. I would laugh when Marc Dacascos would chide Anna Akana for her language. Mike Moh, known for his controversial turn as Bruce Lee in "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood", is a scene stealer and even when the levity is a little on the lame side... The cast still made it kind of charming. So yes, "Blade of the 47 Ronin" is about as bad as you would expect, but... I... did not expect to enjoy it. Just a little. Just enough that I might be down for a sequel. Maybe.  

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Yesterday at 4:02 PM)

*American Ninja (1985) *is a Golan & Globus ninja flick, so you know it's going to bad... in the best way possible! In all seriousness, the fight scenes are surprisingly good, especially considering how the lead -- Michael Dudikoff -- had no martial arts experience. I wouldn't call the choreography graceful, but it's fast and often looks like the fighters are trying to hit each-other. There's some really solid stuntwork too. The action escalates to bonkers proportions, especially when the evil ninja unveils his arsenal of tricks -- was that a f@cking laser beam? Now don't get me wrong, "American Ninja" is pretty dumb. The writing often makes no sense and the acting is really uneven. Everyone turns in campy performances and sometimes it works and adds to the fun, other times it's annoying. I found Judie Aronson's love interest character to be grating. Dudikoff makes for an OK hero, but Steve James steals the show as his rival turned buddy. "American Ninja" is really cheesy, but if you liked these 1980's ninja flicks -- especially from this studio -- then you should have fun with this. It was definitely better than I expected. 

2.5/4  

*American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)* continues the ninjatic adventures of American ninja -- turned marine -- Joe Armstrong (Michael Dudikoff) and his buddy Curtis Jackson (Steve James), both of whom head to the Carribean to investigate the mysterious disappearances of U.S Marines. This sequel just isn't as fun as its predecessor, which was reflected in its lackluster box office intake. The remainder of the franchise would be released straight to video.  The movie isn't really that bad. Michael Dudikoff has grown on me and Steve James is still a lot of fun. It's implied that Joe has been training Jackson, as the fight scenes incorporate him a lot more. There is also one really kick-ass car chase, which boasts stellar stuntwork and culminates in a great explosion. But the rest of the movie? Not worth much. The choreography has taken a step down, with a few moves being so telegraphed that they ended up looking very funny. The fights aren't terrible, they're just not very good. The villains are nowhere near as fun, although watching the evil ninja pull a shotgun out of nowhere was amazing. The plot somehow manages to be both thin and absurd. At its core, it's a simple drug dealer conflict, except the baddie wants to create genetically enhanced ninja. It's an entertaining idea, yet they don't really follow through with it. "American Ninja 2" is still worth watching if you liked the first one. It's just more tolerable than fun. 

2/4 

Micheal Dudikoff chose to sit out *American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)*, so Steve James was paired off with a new white ninja, played by David Bradley. I never thought I'd find myself pining for the "charisma" of Dudikoff, but Bradley's lifeless performance fits in with the unenthusiastic cast. Even the usually fun Steve James looks bored. But the lethargic acting is no match for the action scenes -- which have to be some of the most plodding, awkwardly staged, telegraphed fight scenes I've ever seen... I mean, I probably have seen worse and I suspect that before I complete this franchise, I will definitely see worse, but my point is they're f@cking bad. No one looks like they know what they're doing, including the legit martial artists. The ninja are so bumbling that they're almost comedic. The plot is dependent on coincidences and idiocy. And the plot holes... yikes... how did the villains know who Sean's ninja master was even before THEY KNEW HE WAS A F@CKING NINJA!?

Also, even though all of these movies have had an annoying comedic foil, this one has the audacity to let him tag along with our heroes for the entire movie. I guess it's cool that they also had a female ninja, but holy f@ck was her character arc dumb. "American Ninja 3" is just dumb and boring and I didn't like it.

1/4    

*American Ninja 4: The Annihilation (1991)* brings together the franchise's two faces, Michael Dudikoff (Joe Armstrong) and David Bradley (Sean Davidson) in the 'big' cross-over event that... I'm sure someone wanted... The story has Arabs now employing ninja to commit terrorist acts, so the U.S Government sends their own homegrown ninja to stop them. Despite getting top billing, Dudikoff doesn't appear until around the half-way point, completely stealing the narrative from David Bradley. According to Bradley, he wanted Sean and Joe to work in tandem throughout the entire movie, but Dudikoff refused to share the screen with him. They end up barely interacting, making the whole gimmick kind of pointless. 

But I guess I can console myself a little bit, as "American Ninja 4" isn't quite as terrible as its predecessor was. The fights aren't anywhere near as lethargic and the cast look like they're having at least a little fun, although Steve James is sorely missed. There seems to be a little bit more production value, with the most bonkers plot development being when Joe has to recruit rebels who appear to have just walked off a "Mad Max" set. I'd say they were out-of-place, but it's not like this was any good to begin with. "American Ninja 4" never really rises above subpar, but it's occasionally entertainingly bad. Occasionally. I might have even liked it a little, if it had utilized the cross-over aspect more effectively. 

1.5/4  

*American Ninja V (1993) *is often derided as the worst entry in the 'American Ninja' franchise, even though it was already pretty bad to begin with. Much of the hostility though probably comes from the fact that this wasn't originally intended to even be part of the franchise, even though it stars David Bradley as an American Ninja... just a different one... The original title was either "Little Ninja Man" or "American Dragons", depending on the source. I assume they gave it the "American Ninja" banner for marketing purposes, even though this is clearly designed for a younger demographic. The plot is the same, with some bad guy threatening a scientist's hot daughter to create some big doomsday weapon, only for her to coincidently be the love-interest to an American ninja (David Bradley)... except this time a plucky kid is tagging along. There's a lot more comedy and a lot less violence. But the "quality" remains comparable to "American Ninja 3" and "American Ninja 4"... in that the acting still sucks, the fight scenes are still boring and the story is still both equally derivative and nonsensical. The humor is mostly lame, but if nothing else, it allows David Bradley to show traces of a personality.

So I wouldn't say "American Ninja 5" is any worse than the others, but it doesn't really belong in the franchise either. 

1.5/4


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