# Your physical insecurities, your feelings about them, and how they've affected your life



## David (Mar 30, 2022)

The thread idea came to mind because my nose recently got slightly banged up (I hope "slightly" is accurate), but I don't want to make this thread solely about me. Of course, feel free to answer as few or as many questions as you'd like and to comment on others' posts.

1. What physical features have you felt insecure about, and how have you felt about them?
2. How have your feelings about them changed?
3. How have physical insecurities affected (or not affected) your self-esteem and life? Any stories to share?
4. How have y'all responded to them? e.g., acne treatment, working out, plastic surgery, etc.
5. Any other final thoughts or advice for dealing with physical insecurities and/or self-esteem issues?

I feel embarrassed talking about this, but here goes.

1. For a lot of adulthood, I was insecure about the pudginess and asymmetry of my nose, my large nose pores, and fordyce spots on my top lip. I recently had my nose get a bit more permanently messed up during boxing and jiu-jitsu; after many punches and some kicks, I noticed my nose tip became slightly (?) pudgier and more lopsided than it already was. I didn't care much before because I just got used to how I looked, but it just feels like it sucks to know that how I look has changed for the worse, and I don't immediately know how to feel about that.

2. I began to feel confident about my appearance last year after finally going on several dates because women told me I was attractive for the first time in my life. That helped a lot. Then my nose got a bit banged up, and I'm no longer sure how I look anymore because it's hard for me to tell if guys are attractive.

3. I disliked how I looked for most of my adulthood. My first dip in self-esteem was in middle school. Students at my Catholic school would bully me for having what they called "the Jew nose." It just escalated from there but eventually as an adult I stopped caring (until the fighting injury).

4. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit that at times, I'd try to bend my nose to the right to fix the asymmetry and would squeeze out blackheads, and it made my nose look slightly worse. These became habits that took some time to break.

5. People find different people attractive, and I feel like dating a few people who found me attractive and told me that helped boost my self-esteem and get over my physical insecurities more than anything. I also feel like looking at my whole face — and not just the parts that I deem messed up or imbalanced — helps me better look at myself as a whole and see that I'm physically more than my perceived flaws. (I hope. Lol.) Also, I think that we're our own worst critics, and many people don't notice smaller changes in our faces as much as we do. Finally, I'm trying to move on; my nose will only get worse-looking as I age, and I know I've gotta just get used to it.



Anyway, what about y'all?

Reactions: Informative 1 | Friendly 4


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## Vanya (Mar 30, 2022)

I used to feel insecure

But then i realized people.dont give a darn about me

Ever since i am living the life 

Which in return made people like me more because of the energy i give. 

10/10

Reactions: Winner 2


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## Big Bob (Mar 30, 2022)

1. I always hated how my face looked and my ears as well. I used to get teased being called a monkey and such.
2.I don't care about how I look or how people feel about my looks anymore.
3. Like i said in the first post, I got teased a lot about my looks and it made me try a lot of different things to distract people from looking at me that way.
4. Long story short, I just reached a point where I didn't care anymore and it's just sorta gone on from there.
5. Other people will never spend as much time or care as much about your physical insecurities as you. Focus on feeling good about yourself and others will follow suit and if they don't, they're just shallow.

Reactions: Winner 1


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## Aduro (Mar 30, 2022)

When I was born, my ankle was at a right angle, so me toes pointed to the right. My parents didn't fully twist it back into place when I was a baby. Doing so was painful and its hard to ask a pair of loving parents to inflict pain on a baby while he screams. So it is always at a significantly dodgy angle that makes things like running, cycling and football difficult. Although it is handy for climbing.

When I was a kid, from 5-16 boys either played football and ran fast, or they were freaks. I hated that I was bad at it no matter how hard I tried, so I was on the outskirts. I constantly felt like I didn't match up in the only way that mattered. That really left my frustrated and lonely. Although I generally had a chip on my shoulder most of the time anyway. But I was bullied, and hated myself, had a lot of dark thoughts and even self-harmed when things were really rough.


But I'm over it now. After I went from a secondary school to a college, there was a more casual, free environment. I met a lot of like-minded people. What I said mattered more than what I could do physically. I wasn't in an environment when all that mattered was keeping up appearances. I think my mental health is quite good now.
One of the most important ways to resolve mental health problems is letting problems of the past fade. Allowing yourself to realise that you are different, and your situation is different.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Friendly 1


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## David (Mar 30, 2022)

@Vanya @Big Bob @Aduro  Y'all are badass for developing to where you're at mentally, and I look forward to my feelings about this recent insecurity subsiding so my mindset becomes more like y'all's.

Reactions: Friendly 2


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## Keishin (Mar 30, 2022)

I guess overweight since I've never stayed consistent with my diet and exercising. Since I was very young I would run or bike thousands of kilometers but then stop doing that and eat a lot of carbs without giving a shit. I actually only started thinking about that this year for real.

But its not like I _really_ care. I'm just going to drop weight again and see if it changes anything since I have a chronic head pressure from car accident in 2016.

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## Vanya (Mar 30, 2022)

David said:


> @Vanya @Big Bob @Aduro  Y'all are badass for developing to where you're at mentally, and I look forward to my feelings about this recent insecurity subsiding so my mindset becomes more like y'all's.


People dont give a darn about you

Sooner you realise that the sooner you can start living the dream life

Reactions: Agree 1


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## David (Mar 30, 2022)

Vanya said:


> People dont give a darn about you
> 
> Sooner you realise that the sooner you can start living the dream life


I appreciate this sentiment; I think there's validity in the idea that by far, the overwhelming majority of people don't care about us, and the few who care don't care nearly as much about physical appearances as we think they do. I also think it makes a lot of sense for a person to approach their days with this mindset.

That said, I'm certain that people generally treat others differently based on their looks, and since our social interactions impact us, it makes sense to care about how we present ourselves. But I think we can agree that people don't care about others' appearances nearly as much as the latter think.

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## David (Mar 30, 2022)

Keishin said:


> I guess overweight since I've never stayed consistent with my diet and exercising. Since I was very young I would run or bike thousands of kilometers but then stop doing that and eat a lot of carbs without giving a shit. I actually only started thinking about that this year for real.
> 
> But its not like I _really_ care. I'm just going to drop weight again and see if it changes anything since I have a chronic head pressure from car accident in 2016.



That's an insane distance to cover. I'm sure that you'll be able to work toward a healthier weight now that you're thinking more about what you eat. And I'm sorry to hear about the car accident. I hope the upcoming effort at weight loss helps with the chronic head pressure. At the very least, from my experience, eating healthier consistently tends to be helpful in ways we don't expect.


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## Jim (Mar 30, 2022)

Vanya said:


> People dont give a darn about you
> 
> Sooner you realise that the sooner you can start living the dream life


yeah i was going to say something ismilar


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## Ashi (Mar 31, 2022)

My jaw is slightly elongated so my side profile looks weird 

Like certain angles I’m just like “wtf ew ”

Reactions: Funny 1 | Friendly 1


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## David (Mar 31, 2022)

Ashi said:


> My jaw is slightly elongated so my side profile looks weird
> 
> Like certain angles I’m just like “wtf ew ”



I never noticed in the few pictures I've seen you post. Granted, it's been a while, but still.

Also, my jaw and side profiles are very asymmetrical. Thankfully though I've long since gotten used to it, so it doesn't really bother me anymore.


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## Ashi (Mar 31, 2022)

David said:


> I never noticed in the few pictures I've seen you post. Granted, it's been a while, but still.
> 
> Also, my jaw and side profiles are very asymmetrical. Thankfully though I've long since gotten used to it, so it doesn't really bother me anymore.


You can only tell from the side, my front view looks fine but from the side it's an oof


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Mar 31, 2022)

it's not really a looks thing but much like prince andrew, i don't really sweat anywhere on my body

EXCEPT my hands

generally my hands are cold and a little damp

i hate anyone trying to hold hands with me, but these gross ass mofos out here still WILLINGLY hold my hand

their life choices are none of my business. if they want to hold hands with a hideous beast that's on them

Reactions: Funny 1


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Mar 31, 2022)

actually, i have some funny stories about uni days and having to hold hands with strangers 

anyway, its fair to say i've been loving no contact during covid. also, as i've gotten older, this issue has kind of faded away.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1


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## Francyst (Apr 1, 2022)

My sister randomly asked me why I "bounced" when I walked. I had no idea and she showed me a video.

I spent months feeling weird every time I walked. Eventually I forgot about it. Not sure if I still bounce. Don't care. I skateboard instead of walking now so...

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3 | Friendly 1


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## Godly Giraffe - King of the Uverworld (Apr 2, 2022)

I used to not like having slanted eyes and a typical Asian facial shape (wider than most Caucasians, flatter on the back of the head) but then realized I can just cut back on carbs/run a lot of cardio and lift weights on my own and maximize my attractiveness. Regardless, I still feel insecure sometimes about having stretch marks that won't go away from when I was having severe bipolar II depression at 13-15 and gained like 50 lbs in the span of a few months. Most people barely notice and I have far better metabolism from lifting weights since last September (albeit I've been cutting back recently due to toe swelling and a bitch of a commute to work), so I'm trying to look at it positively. Exercising in general serves as a great stress reliever and self esteem booster too. Hoping to get back to the gym tomorrow as I've only been biking today.


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## Eros (Apr 2, 2022)

Well, I ended up having bariatric surgery in 2017. I lost a lot of weight. There is an unfortunate side effect though. I have some loose skin. I am self conscious about it. I need to do something about it. It has improved some though.


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## Shanks (Apr 2, 2022)

Just wanna say I recently almost interview for a men's health company dealing with hair lose and premature ejaculation 


Yeah,I ended up cancelling th interview a few days before.

Reactions: Funny 1 | Friendly 1


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## Aegon Targaryen (Apr 3, 2022)

My height fo sho. It's annoying, too, I was actually growing fairly well when I was a kid. Then I hit my teen years and my height takes a massive hit and I barely grow. In the US, it's not uncommon to find plenty of girls taller than me

Reactions: Winner 1 | Friendly 2


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## Godly Giraffe - King of the Uverworld (Apr 4, 2022)

Aegon Targaryen said:


> My height fo sho. It's annoying, too, I was actually growing fairly well when I was a kid. Then I hit my teen years and my height takes a massive hit and I barely grow. In the US, it's not uncommon to find plenty of girls taller than me


I was similar except I was 5'8" when I started slowing down at 14 so I ended up over 5'9" at least, taller than a lot of people, I'd rather be a couple of inches taller but I'll take it


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## David (Apr 4, 2022)

ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ said:


> it's not really a looks thing but much like prince andrew, i don't really sweat anywhere on my body
> 
> EXCEPT my hands
> 
> ...


not to mention, frogs are poisonous






Francyst said:


> My sister randomly asked me why I "bounced" when I walked. I had no idea and she showed me a video.
> 
> I spent months feeling weird every time I walked. Eventually I forgot about it. Not sure if I still bounce. Don't care. I skateboard instead of walking now so...



That sounds kind of cute! I bounce up and down when I'm in a good mood, and it makes my partner smile.



Godly Giraffe - King of the Uverworld said:


> I used to not like having slanted eyes and a typical Asian facial shape (wider than most Caucasians, flatter on the back of the head) but then realized I can just cut back on carbs/run a lot of cardio and lift weights on my own and maximize my attractiveness. Regardless, I still feel insecure sometimes about having stretch marks that won't go away from when I was having severe bipolar II depression at 13-15 and gained like 50 lbs in the span of a few months. Most people barely notice and I have far better metabolism from lifting weights since last September (albeit I've been cutting back recently due to toe swelling and a bitch of a commute to work), so I'm trying to look at it positively. Exercising in general serves as a great stress reliever and self esteem booster too. Hoping to get back to the gym tomorrow as I've only been biking today.


Sounds like your mind is in the right place, man. Got that spirit and optimism. Juggling work, long commutes and the gym is tough. I hope you can keep yourself strong. Good health does so much for us. 



Eros said:


> Well, I ended up having bariatric surgery in 2017. I lost a lot of weight. There is an unfortunate side effect though. I have some loose skin. I am self conscious about it. I need to do something about it. It has improved some though.



I'm glad to hear it's improved.



Aegon Targaryen said:


> My height fo sho. It's annoying, too, I was actually growing fairly well when I was a kid. Then I hit my teen years and my height takes a massive hit and I barely grow. In the US, it's not uncommon to find plenty of girls taller than me



Oof. I'll never understand some people's obsession with their partner's heights. Have you gotten more used to being your height with time?


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## Aegon Targaryen (Apr 4, 2022)

David said:


> Oof. I'll never understand some people's obsession with their partner's heights. Have you gotten more used to being your height with time?



Idk lol 

I think I actually gained a few inches, have not measured myself though


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## Worm Juice (Apr 5, 2022)

I used to be very conscious about my hairiness. Shaved my whole body when I was eleven. Over the years I stopped caring so much. I still shave or wax occasionally but just for certain circumstances like being fancy and wearing a dress. Or after I have sex and my legs are up and they look like men's legs which slightly turns me off.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Schneider (Apr 5, 2022)

My facial hair, which started to come out when i was fookin 10. I literally had curly sideburns when everyone else still looked like infants.

Became neutral as time went on, but for a while maintained a clean look because asia. Eventualy stopped clean shaving due to the hassle, opted to maintain a moderate stubble instead, which with me growth rate is the easier option by far.

Now wearing it like a badge of pride. Chicks (and dudes) digging it helps i guess.

Reactions: Like 1


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## pfft (Apr 5, 2022)

Worm Juice said:


> I used to be very conscious about my hairiness. Shaved my whole body when I was eleven. Over the years I stopped caring so much. I still shave or wax occasionally but just for certain circumstances like being fancy and wearing a dress. Or after I have sex and my legs are up and they look like men's legs which slightly turns me off.


If leg hair turns you off shouldn’t you make him shave tho?


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## Godly Giraffe - King of the Uverworld (Apr 6, 2022)

Worm Juice said:


> I used to be very conscious about my hairiness. Shaved my whole body when I was eleven. Over the years I stopped caring so much. I still shave or wax occasionally but just for certain circumstances like being fancy and wearing a dress. Or after I have sex and my legs are up and they look like men's legs which slightly turns me off.


So you're lying about your sex in your profile?


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## Worm Juice (Apr 6, 2022)

pfft said:


> If leg hair turns you off shouldn’t you make him shave tho?


My own leghair can be a turn off. Not others leghair.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Jim (Apr 7, 2022)

I'm so typically normal it makes me think i'm a robot designed to be normal
j/k

Reactions: Disagree 1


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## Gadaffi (Apr 24, 2022)

Worm Juice said:


> I used to be very conscious about my hairiness. Shaved my whole body when I was eleven. Over the years I stopped caring so much. I still shave or wax occasionally but just for certain circumstances like being fancy and wearing a dress. Or after I have sex and my legs are up and they look like men's legs which slightly turns me off.


this unlocks memory when u posted ur hairy legs on here and i gave you a negative rep. BUT I WAS TROLLING. mostly. it was such a random picture ok? BUT DONT FEEL INSECURE ABT BEING A HUMAN, BODY HAIR ETC

ON TOPIC;
im a smoker since young age and im starting to notice wrinkles yikes. +makeup it affected my life w ppl thinking ive a daughter. its my 1.5 year older than me sister

Reactions: Like 1


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## Delta Shell (Apr 25, 2022)

1. What physical features have you felt insecure about, and how have you felt about them? 

*Mostly my weight. I have actually had therapy for my body dysmorphia and all that.  Baldness sometimes if i forget to keep shaving my head lol. I go from Jordan to Danny Glover real quick without maintenance*.

2. How have your feelings about them changed?

*You give less of a fuck as you get older. Although ageing is an insecurity in itself*. 

3. How have physical insecurities affected (or not affected) your self-esteem and life? Any stories to share?

*Loads of them. Beach holidays. Exercise addiction. Relationships. Better at all that now I'm resigned to dilapidation*.

4. How have y'all responded to them? e.g., acne treatment, working out, plastic surgery, etc.

*Working out*. 

5. Any other final thoughts or advice for dealing with physical insecurities and/or self-esteem issues

*You'll never be happy. Its about acceptance. Easier said than done*.

Reactions: Friendly 2


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## Swarmy (Apr 26, 2022)

*1. What physical features have you felt insecure about, and how have you felt about them?*

Only ever had a prob with my front teeth as a kid because my lips are always slightly open and it makes it as if I have rabbit teeth. Mom told me she had the similar issue as a kid until she hit teenage years and guys suddenly started finding it hot so she regretted all the years of feeling shit.
Had to wear braces for like 2 years or so but since I was tall and kinda hyperactive kid I never got bullied, was kind of thick skinned kid, high school and internet certainly made me softer at the apex of my teen days...

*2. How have your feelings about them changed?*

Take it from me, being an insect is fun. Work with what you have but never be completely satisfied with it as well. This applies not only to looks but pretty much all aspects of your life. What happened to my mom happened to me and going headfirst into puberty suddenly I became "cute geeky guy" and yeah while it added nothing substantial to my life in the long run it was fun 

*3. How have physical insecurities affected (or not affected) your self-esteem and life? Any stories to share?*

Eh, I think I covered this in the previous answer... Ooops.

*4. How have y'all responded to them? e.g., acne treatment, working out, plastic surgery, etc.*

Oh right... I had acne on my back, I think I dodged a bullet there cause I got like a scar or two near my shoulder from those so imagine if they were on the face  Then again scars are kinda badass and I have 2 on my head/face, small ones but yeah. One's near the end of the forehead where hair begins and is from when I hit my head as a kid (used to run like Naruto cause my head was and I quote "FUCKING BIG & HEAVY") and the other is on the top from when, and I kid you not, dad was playing with me as a baby throwing me up in the air and hit me in the fucking chandelier... 
I mean the incoming divorce 9 years later was pretty much sealed that day I feel.

*5. Any other final thoughts or advice for dealing with physical insecurities and/or self-esteem issues?*

Don't give a darn unless you need to fuck yourself or your job/career/family life depends on it.
Looks matter, trust me, just not when it's for the sake of achieving what is largely unnecessary.
People *do *choose a book based on its cover but ultimately only finish it because of its content

Reactions: Creative 1


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## Godly Giraffe - King of the Uverworld (May 9, 2022)

I wouldn't really call it an insecurity but between my office job requiring me to sit down all day 5 days a week and injuring my right foot a while ago I've been slacking from hitting the gym, and eating a decent bit more to take off the stress. Definitely want to get as fit as I was last November, I have a bit of a gut rn.


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## ClannadFan (May 10, 2022)

Growing up my Pediatrician told me I was morbidy obese. My family would make fun of me for being fat all the time. Luckily with puberty I basically stretched out. Was a short 2nd grader that weighed 100 lbs, by 8th grade I had a huge growth spurt and was 110-120 lbs. But for some reason I kept my man boobs.

That then became my new insecurity, esspecially since my family would continue to consistently make fun of me for them. Would always do push ups and stuff to try to get rid of them, none of that worked. I finally got rid of them after hitting the weightroom after I got to High School.

Also my nose was always big, stopped caring about it in High School as well.

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## Raiden (May 11, 2022)

I ate a lot of fast food when I was younger and fat accumulated fairly quickly among my stomach area. Trying to do what I can to burn it off. Honestly it's really frustrating because I think physical appearance, especially in that area, is really important.


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