# Michael Bay Talks TMNT Movie! Says, "They are from an Alien Race..."



## Death Certificate (Mar 19, 2012)

"When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we're done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they're going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable." - Michael Bay


----------



## Taleran (Mar 19, 2012)

I absolutely love Michael Bay for things like this. Goes out completely fucks with franchises that take things much more seriously than they should and then makes it make a billion dollar movie even if they all bitch about it.

Completely destroying the entitlement of fans everywhere. :ho


----------



## αshɘs (Mar 19, 2012)

oh, Bay is going to make TMNT movie?

*shrugs*


----------



## Amuro (Mar 19, 2012)

Teenage Martian Ninja Turtles? 

If they are going to fuck with it they might as well go all out and have him direct, not produce.


----------



## Banhammer (Mar 19, 2012)

I feel like I should be outraged about this, but I haven't given a fuck about tmnt in ten years, so who am I to give him shit over it.


----------



## Vice (Mar 19, 2012)

Oh god... this is bad. This is very, very bad.


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Mar 19, 2012)

Bay should stop making movies .


----------



## Stringer Bell (Mar 19, 2012)

Not pleased.

The only way that this movie will be slight _okay_ is if Super Shredder is FV


----------



## Pseudo (Mar 19, 2012)

I'm not even mad. You go Bay!

You know, ironically Bay might actually make the first ever decent TMNT movie.


----------



## Bluebeard (Mar 19, 2012)

What is the point of this? I don't see how making them aliens is even slightly less ridiculous than the toxic waste story.


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Mar 19, 2012)

The funny thing is, that this is gonna be a hell of a blockbuster ...


----------



## Gabe (Mar 19, 2012)

i liked the old movies as a kid lets see how this turn out


----------



## Comic Book Guy (Mar 19, 2012)

Another piece of my childhood ruined.


----------



## Oberyn Nymeros (Mar 19, 2012)

> These turtles are from an alien race


 dammit


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 19, 2012)

Teenage Aliens Ninja Gameras


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

What the fuck?




That's it: 

*Petition to Kill Michael Bay*
1. CrazyMoronX


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

I'm going to ignore the existence of this movie.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Sign the petition, Goob.

Once enough signatures are in, I'm handing this contract over.


----------



## Oberyn Nymeros (Mar 19, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> Teenage Aliens Ninja Gameras



that reminds me: how can they still call the movie TMNT? Is going to be TANT now?


----------



## Onomatopoeia (Mar 19, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> What the fuck?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Sign me up.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Sign the petition, Goob.
> 
> Once enough signatures are in, I'm handing this contract over.



I don't know about this CMX, killing a man just because he is shitting on your childhood is a bit too excessive.


----------



## Ennoea (Mar 19, 2012)

I pretty much hate Bay but the franchise can't get worse at this point, it'll be amusing to see what Bay does with it.

Bay seems to get budgets, imagine if he tries an Akira movie


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED! 


How about deportation and blackballing him from Hollywood?


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 19, 2012)




----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

> How about deportation and blackballing him from Hollywood?



Sounds much better.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Deal.





Then we kill him.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

You can do all the killing, I don't want anything to do with that mess. 

I can already imagine how the characters are going to be butchered.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 19, 2012)

Never thought that I'd say it, but regular reptiles mutating into fully conscious humanoid turtles by touching some radioactive chemicals is much more plausible than an alien race who's evolution process involved talking turtles.


----------



## Pseudo (Mar 19, 2012)

I love when Michael Bay dumps a whole load of fresh watery feces on franchises I don't care about.


----------



## Cyphon (Mar 19, 2012)

I liked the original cartoon. I liked all of the original movies and I even kind of liked that last CGI shit. I love TMNT so I am looking forward to this despite what is being done. Hopefully something cools comes out of it.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> Never thought that I'd say it, but regular reptiles mutating into fully conscious humanoid turtles by touching some radioactive chemicals is much more plausible than an alien race who's evolution process involved talking turtles.


 I think that the best medium is having the aliens develop Mutagen and then having turtles accidentally getting exposed to it.


At least that's plausibe.


----------



## Z (Mar 19, 2012)

What is the point in making them aliens?


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Z said:


> What is the point in making them aliens?


 Because aliens are SO COOL! 


And he has to have some kind of excuse to add in blue energy laser blasters, giant explosions, and huge robots.


----------



## Z (Mar 19, 2012)

I am a fan of the cartoons and I really did not need this. 

Master Splinter and The Shredder better be epic in this as well as the Turtles and I hope Bay doesn't forget about the NINJA in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


----------



## Cyphon (Mar 19, 2012)

If he ruins Raphael I will hunt him down and stab him in his throat with a sai.


----------



## Federer (Mar 19, 2012)

> Michael Bay Talks TMNT Movie!



Someone should stop this man from making movies.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Z said:


> I am a fan of the cartoons and I really did not need this.
> 
> Master Splinter and The Shredder better be epic in this as well as the Turtles and I hope Bay doesn't forget about the NINJA in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


 Shredder will be a street thugh on steroids and Master Splinter will be an alien with grey skin and giant eyes and instead of ninjutsu he'll practice Karate.


----------



## Ennoea (Mar 19, 2012)

I just want a Homeless Tramp Megatron.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

They'll squeeze him in there somehow.


Maybe he's Krang.


----------



## Gunners (Mar 19, 2012)

The fact that the Turtles are aliens doesn't bother me, it is inconsequential. What bothers me about this film is Michael Bay. I expect the film to have very little to do with Turtles, some teenager will stumble upon them, the government will get involved at some point, there will be the token tart and a lot of explosions.


----------



## TSC (Mar 19, 2012)

Gunners said:


> The fact that the Turtles are aliens doesn't bother me, it is inconsequential. What bothers me about this film is Michael Bay. I expect the film to have very little to do with Turtles, some teenager will stumble upon them, the government will get involved at some point, there will be the token tart and a lot of explosions.



Sounds like some movie I already saw before 




I hope April wears the iconic yellow jumpsuit.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Don't forget all that blue energy.

It's the new thing.


----------



## Pacifista (Mar 19, 2012)

Donatello will fight with a bazooka. Leonardo will dual wield M16s. Raphael will use Magnums while Michelangelo will throw grenades around.


Bay is on a crusade. Transformers was only the beginning. He's going to go through all of the once awesome childhood shows. There's no stopping it.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

nb4 Bay wants to do a movie based on Rugrats and turn the Rugrats into beings of blue energy.


----------



## Whimsy (Mar 19, 2012)

SPOILERS:

Leonardo rips off Shredder's head and spine with a huge axe.


----------



## Glued (Mar 19, 2012)

This shit sounds awesome, Benjamin Grimm approves.

I only wish Michael Bays would do his own interpretation of Romeo and Juliet with guns and explosions.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Ben Grimm said:


> This shit sounds awesome, Benjamin Grimm approves.
> 
> I only wish Michael Bays would do his own interpretation of Romeo and Juliet with guns and explosions.


 Maybe Bay will remake that one Romeo and Juliet movie that Dicaprio was in (this time in 3D and with 50x the explosions--and more aliens).


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Mar 19, 2012)

Bay should also take his Affleck back... those 2 make the Scorcese-DeNiro duo look like a joke...




Sarcasm         .


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 19, 2012)

TMNT = Alien Race? FFFUUUCCCKKK that


----------



## Tranquil Fury (Mar 19, 2012)

Bluebeard said:


> What is the point of this? I don't see how making them aliens is even slightly less ridiculous than the toxic waste story.



Yes well they're called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, making them Aliens screws with the Mutant part and If they're Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles it's not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie anymore.



Gunners said:


> The fact that the Turtles are aliens doesn't bother me, it is inconsequential. What bothers me about this film is Michael Bay. I expect the film to have very little to do with Turtles, some teenager will stumble upon them, the government will get involved at some point, there will be the token tart and a lot of explosions.



This for me.


----------



## Nightfall (Mar 19, 2012)

Will probably showcase the US army heavily as well, isn't Bay a big fan of them?


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

I think he has more of a hard-on for the Navy right now.


----------



## Darc (Mar 19, 2012)

This movie will be interesting, Bay is _okay_ to me I guess cause I love explosions but making the turtles Aliens? That's just silly.


----------



## Soledad Eterna (Mar 19, 2012)

TMNT... as aliens

*Spoiler*: __ 



*????????????????????BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*





CrazyMoronX said:


> What the fuck?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


2. Soledad Eterna


----------



## Glued (Mar 19, 2012)

Dear lord, I hope the shredder isn't wearing a turban like Megatron did in third movie.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Shredder will be cast as either a black man or a female supermodel.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 19, 2012)

He's gonna make the turtles into aliens?

WTF IS THIS SHIT? YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE THE RACE OF SOMETHING 

That's like saying if he was going to make a Spider-Movie he'd make him a ninja turtle who spins webs 

Fucking Bay. Ruining everything I loved.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

What part of Mutant in TMNT this douche does not get?

fuck you M.Bay just fuck you


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> What part of Mutant in TMNT this douche does not get?



Everything.


----------



## Federer (Mar 19, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> What the fuck?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



We should hire a professional.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Federer said:


> We should hire a professional.


He is just an advisor


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 19, 2012)

He must be on crack nowadays.

Directing movies whilst on crack 
???
Profit.


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Mar 19, 2012)

As long as there are millions of retards who pay to watch his blockbuster bullshit, he will continue forever.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 19, 2012)

aww man the turtles arn't new yorkers anymore 

and shredder and splinter don't have history

teenage space ninjas


----------



## TetraVaal (Mar 19, 2012)

Death Certificate said:


> "When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we're done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they're going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable." - Michael Bay


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 19, 2012)

We should poison Bay.


----------



## Petes12 (Mar 19, 2012)

Taleran said:


> I absolutely love Michael Bay for things like this. Goes out completely fucks with franchises that take things much more seriously than they should and then makes it make a billion dollar movie even if they all bitch about it.
> 
> Completely destroying the entitlement of fans everywhere. :ho



My thoughts exactly


----------



## Federer (Mar 19, 2012)

Guns are faster, Bay might survive poison.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 19, 2012)

Federer said:


> Guns are faster, Bay might survive poison.





You rang?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

~Gesy~ said:


> aww man the turtles arn't new yorkers anymore
> 
> and shredder and splinter don't have history
> 
> teenage space ninjas



you ...

dont be enjoying bay dirty work one bit 

even though space ninjas sounds kinda kickass


----------



## Gunners (Mar 19, 2012)

Expect to see Ice Cube or Ja Rule in this film.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 19, 2012)

Gunners said:


> Expect to see Ice Cube or Ja Rule in this film.



one of the turtles will have a stereotypical black guy's personality. gotta reach out to black kids too right?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Going to be Raphael always raph


----------



## SunnyMoonstone (Mar 19, 2012)

Okay, I officially believe Bay's lifespan grows longer for every bit of nerd-rage he makes in the world. 

It's the only thing that makes any sense!


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Or shorter depends on which fiction he is taking a shit on.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Federer said:


> We should hire a professional.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 19, 2012)

50 cent will portray master splinter.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Don't give the man any ideas!


----------



## The810kid (Mar 19, 2012)

Banhammer said:


> I feel like I should be outraged about this, but I haven't given a fuck about tmnt in ten years, so who am I to give him shit over it.



U weren't a fan of the series from last decade?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Don't give the man any ideas!



Naw he gets all his movie ideas and writing skills from tumblr


----------



## Gabe (Mar 19, 2012)

as long as they make raphael awesome he was always my favorite turtle.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Raphael will be a wise-cracking alien with suckers on his fingers and he will have laser beams.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Turtles new favorite food will be scooby snacks


----------



## Stunna (Mar 19, 2012)

I wouldn't usually care... alien turtles is just as ridiculous as mutated ones...but they're Teenage _Mutant_ Ninja Turtles. And what the heck is he gonna due about Splinter? Make him an alien too? If not, then what's the point in making the turtles extraterrestrial? And where the heck do ninjas and the Foot come into all of this?


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> Turtles new favorite food will be scooby snacks


 Pothead Alien Ninja Turtles.


----------



## Magnum Miracles (Mar 19, 2012)

How in the name of fuck are explosions fit into a TMNT movie? Bay will find a way, because he is the true pyromaniac!


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Magnum Bookworm said:


> How in the name of fuck are explosions fit into a TMNT movie? Bay will find a way, because he is the true pyromaniac!



Because of who is involved, I have already lowered my expectations below absolute zero. However I will look forward to the complete sexbomb that will no doubt be cast as April O'Neil. If Bay does one thing right, he provides adequate material to mentally(and in some cases physically if your shameless) fap to in the theatre, in High Definition.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Magnum Bookworm said:


> How in the name of fuck are explosions fit into a TMNT movie? Bay will find a way, because he is the true pyromaniac!



Where there is a will there is a way.  The main weapon of the turtles will be lasers that create explosions.


----------



## Gabe (Mar 19, 2012)

in the latest TMNT wasn't shredder an alien maybe they are going that route. and in the original series krang was an alien working with shredder. but it is hard to see the turtles beingaliens


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Detective said:


> Because of who is involved, I have already lowered my expectations below absolute zero. However I will look forward to the complete sexbomb that will no doubt be cast as April O'Neil. If Bay does one thing right, he provides adequate material to mentally(and in some cases physically if your shameless) fap to in the theatre, in High Definition.


 Quickly! Let us compile a list of the hottest redheads in hollywood who could potentially play a 20-something reporter in a skin-tight yellow jacket!

1) Molly Quinn
2) .....


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Quickly! Let us compile a list of the hottest redheads in hollywood who could potentially play a 20-something reporter in a skin-tight yellow jacket!
> 
> 1) Molly Quinn



2) Emma Stone
3) Danielle Panabaker

The ball is in your court now, CMX!


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

4) Anne Hathaway with red hair.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

5) Lindsay Lohan


----------



## Butcher (Mar 19, 2012)

Micheal Bay, at least do it with lube.

No need to rape it until people don't see what it is anymore.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

I feel bad for ruining the list and leading it to Lohan.


----------



## Gabe (Mar 19, 2012)

amy adams?


----------



## Ennoea (Mar 19, 2012)




----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Felicia Day


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 19, 2012)

Can't think.... titties.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Zooey Perry  


*Spoiler*: __ 



ah la la la la la la la la dont wanna hear it la la la la...


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> Felicia Day



Don't use the  emoticon with that statement, Huey, Use the  instead.

We can also add Isla Fisher, Scarlett Johansson, and potentially Mary Elizabeth Winstead to that list as well.


She admitted to being a naturally dark blonde but my penis does not discriminate, no matter the colour of the drapes.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Detective said:


> and potentially Mary Elizabeth Winstead to that list as well.



I would watch this movie if she was in it.


----------



## Stunna (Mar 19, 2012)

MEW looks closest out of all those listed thus far.


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> I would watch this movie if she was in it.



Be honest with yourself Bro, you would "one hand down your pants in the theatre" this movie if she were in it.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Detective said:


> Be honest with yourself Bro, you would "one hand down your pants in the theatre" this movie if she were in it.



real gents use both hands for such a lady 




:The Gentleman


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Detective said:


> Be honest with yourself Bro, you would "one hand down your pants in the theatre" this movie if she were in it.



If I was the only one in the theater then I would do that. 

But I'm afraid that while I'm doing it a turtle might show up on the screen and ruin my fapping.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> If I was the only one in the theater then I would do that.
> 
> But I'm afraid that while I'm doing it an *alien who happen to know ninjitsu* might show up on the screen and ruin my fapping.



Be politically correct home slice





:The Gentleman


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> Be politically correct home slice
> 
> 
> 
> ...



A turtle is a  turtle even if it comes from outer space.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> A turtle is a  turtle even if it comes from outer space.



Not entirely sure if they will look like turtles yet or maybe they are robots who take the form of turtles


----------



## TSC (Mar 19, 2012)

more bad news:


> Sources have told us that our turtles are actually four of an entire race of inter-dimensional beings. That's right. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are actually from another dimension. I'm not sure how that's going to make kids think that they exist, but we'll just let it slide. In addition, we've also heard that this storyline is happening because Krang will indeed be a villain in the film, which will mark the first time he's ever been incarnated on the big screen (and maybe along with that huge body suit and the Technodrome?).



Source:


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> real gents use both hands for such a lady
> 
> 
> :The Gentleman



While this is true, an efficient gentleman would use one hand as a sign of true marksmanship and use the other to gently hold the hand of his lady companion seated next to him for maximum results.

:The 



Eternal Goob said:


> But I'm afraid that while I'm doing it a turtle might show up on the screen and ruin my fapping.



Or Master Splinter.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

> Sources have told us that our turtles are actually four of an entire race of inter-dimensional beings. That's right. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are actually from another dimension. I'm not sure how that's going to make kids think that they exist, but we'll just let it slide. In addition, we've also heard that this storyline is happening because Krang will indeed be a villain in the film, which will mark the first time he's ever been incarnated on the big screen (and maybe along with that huge body suit and the Technodrome?).


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Detective said:


> While this is true, an efficient gentleman would use one hand as a sign of true marksmanship and use the other to gently hold the hand of his lady companion seated next to him for maximum results.
> 
> :The
> 
> ...



But being a true marksman one will use both hands for precision and steady aiming 

:The


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> But being a true marksman one will use both hands for precision and steady aiming
> 
> :The



There is no need for increased precision if one has the talent of ambidexterity. 

:The  Forever


----------



## Stunna (Mar 19, 2012)

obvious troll is obvious


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Detective said:


> There is no need for increased precision if one has the talent of ambidexterity.
> 
> :The  Forever



I say you have bested me my fellow chap.

Good show

: The  till the end of times.


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> I say you have bested me my fellow chap.
> 
> Good show
> 
> : The  till the end of times.



Indeed, old bean. This was a ripping good time. I look forward to our next bout of bandwidth fisticuffs. Jolly Good Outing, Hip Hip Hurrah and all that. 

uke  of Gotham Manor


----------



## Death Certificate (Mar 19, 2012)

christina hendricks in april's jump suit


----------



## Detective (Mar 19, 2012)

Death Certificate said:


> christina hendricks bursting out of april's jump suit



Fixed for bust accuracy.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Death Certificate said:


> christina hendricks in april's jump suit



There will be lots of boners in theaters.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> There will be lots of teen puberty in theaters.


fixed for accuracy also



: The Enteral


----------



## TetraVaal (Mar 19, 2012)

TSC said:


> more bad news:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 19, 2012)

Who's gonna be the hottie in this movie, anyone know?


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

No one knows at this point, Glover...I think.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 19, 2012)

this movie will make atleast 300 mil :ho


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

That's pretty likely.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

You laugh now , you laugh until he gets his hands on the remake of one of your favorite trilogies and by then it be too late to stop his explosive destruction.


----------



## dream (Mar 19, 2012)

Bay doing a re-imaging of the LOTR trilogy...I shudder to think of the fury that will erupt.


----------



## Ƶero (Mar 19, 2012)

Yeah, my childhood just took a kick to the balls...


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 19, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> Bay doing a re-imaging of the LOTR trilogy...I shudder to think of the fury that will erupt.



Hell strike the trekkies first.

: The


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

Bay re-doing Harry Potter. I can feel it.

I fucking can feel it.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Any news?

Like how he's going to turn Master Splinter into a hip, edgy, 28-year-old girl played by Megan Fox who knows kung-fu?


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Mar 20, 2012)

300 mil, more like 700...


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

900 million worldwide if they have enough UFOs in this.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

WILL SMITH

I'M CALLING IT


----------



## Bluebeard (Mar 20, 2012)

at Bay telling the fans to chill, but only making them badder.

And what now Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from Another Dimension!?


----------



## Glued (Mar 20, 2012)

I just hope someday Michael Bays does a Fantastic Four movie.


----------



## Rukia (Mar 20, 2012)

I don't really care about this.  But does Michael Bay really expect a statement to chill to have any sort of effect?  Is his head in the sand?  Does he not realize that he's an incredibly divisive figure in the film industry?  It sure seems that way.

The TMNT as an alien race idea is terrible.  But it's no worse than them traveling through time.  TMNT 3 was awful!


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

A.Glover92 said:


> WILL SMITH
> 
> I'M CALLING IT


 Shit is about to be the highest-grossing movie of all time. 





Now all it needs is Avatar graphics, 3D, and ScarJo's ass.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

First it needs ScarJo's ass


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

2.5 billion worldwide.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

If 50 Cent stars as Master Splinter I wonder if Splinter will rap in the movie


----------



## Achilles (Mar 20, 2012)

Shia Labeouf will be great as Casey Jones.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm liking the ideas so far.


But we need to squeeze in a pair of racist robots.


Luckily there are these:


----------



## Achilles (Mar 20, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I'm liking the ideas so far.
> 
> 
> But we need to squeeze in a pair of racist robots.




Bebop and Rocksteady can be Bay's racist stereotypes. They're already thugs with fitting names. Bay won't be able to resist.

Master Splinter will be senile and incontinent.

One of those mousers will hump April's leg, and take a shit somehow.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Bebop and Rocksteady are ideal for the role, indeed.

They'll just be racist aliens.


----------



## Achilles (Mar 20, 2012)

Oh, and the Teenage Alien Explosive experts will have giant balls.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

It's all coming together.


We got a hit on our hands.


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

Can't wait for the first trailer.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

INCEPTION HORNS TO THE MAX!


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

Forget Inception horns, we need Vuvuzela horns for this movie.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

I-Robot was racist. They were all white. Bay could use it to his advantage.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> Forget Inception horns, we need Vuvuzela horns for this movie.


 Nay.

Nay, I said! NAY!

Combine the two for an entirely new horn: Incepvuzela Horns.


A.Glover92 said:


> I-Robot was racist. They were all white. Bay could use it to his advantage.


Are you suggesting he has the ninja turtles be white guys?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

wonder if there will be a turtle who has a gold tooth and can't read ?


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

> Forget Inception horns, we need Vuvuzela horns for this movie.
> Nay.
> 
> Nay, I said! NAY!
> ...



Greatest trailer music right there.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Are you suggesting he has the ninja turtles be white guys?



Nah they are just racist robots. 

White guys can't be ninjas.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Bet you the female turtle will be in it with some gigantic melons played by Emma stone


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> Bet you the female turtle will be in it with some gigantic melons played by Emma stone



ScarJo's already got the part with her melons and ass.


----------



## Achilles (Mar 20, 2012)

The Turtles will have about seven minutes of screen time.

Bay could easily just make a Biker Mice From Mar movie if he wants alien animals with military connections that like to blow things up.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 20, 2012)

THERE WERE

*HOOOORNS*

NORMAL TURTLES

*HOOOORNS*

UNTIL

*HOOOORNS*

THEY WERE LAUNCHED IN SPACE

*HOOOORNS*

AND BECAME

*HOOOORNS*

SPACE

*HOOOORNS*

TURTLES

*BAAAAAAM*


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

That sure does resemble a Bay script, Hati.


----------



## Nightwish (Mar 20, 2012)

I'll watch if they get Ice Cube to voice Raphael.

[YOUTUBE]y9_FdA26a_A[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]NQC78UsaZmM[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]izRVMP5BDPE[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 20, 2012)

I wish to see a darker TMNT movie. one where they actually use ninjutsu and their weapons actually draw blood.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Wonder if in the script there are subtexts that goes 
explosion
hot chicks
Navyyyyy!!!!!!
maor explozzions 
Racial stereotypes because its kool

in random order.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Achilles said:


> The Turtles will have about seven minutes of screen time.
> 
> Bay could easily just make a Biker Mice From Mar movie if he wants alien animals with military connections that like to blow things up.


That doesn't have the fanbase TMNT does though.

Fanbase = guaranteed sales.


Here's the cast (so far):

Splinter - Shia LeBeouf
April - ScarJo's Ass
Raphael - Ice T
Michaelangelo - Ryan Reynolds
Leonardo - Leonardo DiCaprio
Donatello - Will Smith
Shredder - Vin Diesel


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

> Splinter - Shia LeBeouf



Good god, don't jinx it CMX.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

He'll know jiu-jitsu--you know, keep it fresh.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

wait does this means splinter will have two sex craze parents with a gender confuse chiuaua


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

They will be something different.


Potheads.

It's more hip.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 20, 2012)

It should be a crossover with Expendables 2.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> It should be a crossover with Expendables 2.



Manliness of Expendables 2 will kill everyone on this project just from  the mere thought


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 20, 2012)

what is Shia doing nowadays anyway?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

reminiscing of what his acting career could have been before Mbay.


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> It should be a crossover with Expendables 2.



Sounds like a fantastic idea, what can go wrong?


----------



## Glued (Mar 20, 2012)

Michael Bay should redo Superman and make sure superman isn't an alien but a guy who mutated after falling into radioactive goop.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Ben Grimm said:


> Michael Bay should redo Superman and make sure superman isn't an alien but a guy who mutated after falling into radioactive goop.



you mean radioactive kryptonite or in this case the actual Kr.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

From now on Bay should redo everything.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

A.Glover92 said:


> From now on Bay should redo everything.



Go explosions or go home I always say


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

A.Glover92 said:


> From now on Bay should redo everything.



Bay redoing The Loin King.


----------



## Stunna (Mar 20, 2012)

> Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

It's Bay, I'm not relaxing at all until I see it.


----------



## Gunners (Mar 20, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> It's Bay, I'm not relaxing at all until I see it.



The sad thing is if when you see the money and dislike it Bay's job has been done. (Assuming you don't pirate it).


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Gunners said:


> The sad thing is if when you see the money and dislike it Bay's job has been done. (Assuming you don't pirate it).



I believe he is the reason pirating is still happening.


----------



## Terra Branford (Mar 20, 2012)

What in the world is wrong with him?  What's the point, then, of the being "turtles"? Or is he going to cut that out of the story?!

Ugh! You idiot Michael Bay! 



Eternal Goob said:


> I'm going to ignore the existence of this movie.



Me as well.



> Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.


Who do they think they are telling us to chill? 

 They are turtles, not aliens! 



> That doesn't have the fanbase TMNT does though.
> 
> Fanbase = guaranteed sales.
> 
> ...


----------



## Federer (Mar 20, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> It's Bay, I'm not relaxing at all until I see it.



Don't buy a ticket.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Richer world = more explosions.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Michael bay- writers-richer story-complex plot none of these compute

infact if i type this in google : I get *lol what?*


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

What happens if you type in Michael Bay - bad movies, big explosions, ruining franchises, shitty scripts, terrible acting?


Too many results. Google servers crashed.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> What happens if you type in Michael Bay - bad movies, big explosions, ruining franchises, shitty scripts, terrible acting?
> 
> 
> Too many results. Google servers *Exploded*.



Now the post is more accurate


----------



## The Weeknd (Mar 20, 2012)

Guys guys guys guys, give him a chance...


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> Now the post is more accurate


 Exploded into blue energy.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Exploded into blue energy.



Some how I feel like a shitty actress/sexy blonde model is slowly walking away as this is all happening


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

A definite possibility.



She's walking into the arms of a nerdy white dude who couldn't realistically score a fat prostitute even if he had 100 bucks.


----------



## Federer (Mar 20, 2012)

TittyNipple said:


> Guys guys guys guys, give him a chance...



How many chances does he deserve?


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 20, 2012)

Three. 

Three chances.


Transformers, Transformers 2, Transformers 3.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

one chance too many 

Better sign a deal with Bruce for a full die hard remake ...


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

Federer said:


> Don't buy a ticket.



I'm going to buy tickets for another movie and then sneak into this movie.



TittyNipple said:


> Guys guys guys guys, give him a chance...



It's like watching a gif of a man being kicked in the nuts, every time it loops back you hope that the kick doesn't connect but it's a futile hope.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> I'm going to buy tickets for another movie and then sneak into this movie.
> 
> 
> 
> It's like watching a gif of a man being kicked in the nuts, every time it loops back you hope that the kick doesn't connect but it's a futile hope.



Goob if you dont boycott this movie, I might have to send my ninjas after you too


----------



## dream (Mar 20, 2012)

I can't boycott anything, my willpower is too weak.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 20, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> I can't boycott anything, my willpower is too weak.



You need to come Goob-san master splinter can train you to have strong will like a Tiger before he is erase into nothing more than a freak from outerspace.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 20, 2012)

He told his fans to "chill"? 

This guy is a legend


----------



## Palpatine (Mar 21, 2012)

I've never been very into TMNT, so whatever.

Still, the fact that Bay is even still making films is annoying to begin with...


----------



## dream (Mar 21, 2012)

Could be worse, Uwe Boll could have been behind the helm.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 21, 2012)

He actually had balls to replied. Fucking Bay, smh


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 21, 2012)

Michael Bay doesn't give a darn.

He makes millions of dollars.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 21, 2012)

Apparently Nickalodeon has a nack of hiring shitty directors to their franchises


----------



## dream (Mar 21, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Michael Bay doesn't give a darn.
> 
> He makes millions of dollars.



People need to stop watching his movies but that won't happen anytime soon.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 21, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> People need to stop watching his movies but that won't happen anytime soon.



He uses that token booty to attract us to those.


----------



## ZERO PHOENIX (Mar 21, 2012)

To think that one man could make a career out of being a fuck up. I love this country.


----------



## Ben Tennyson (Mar 21, 2012)

they still be no match to


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 21, 2012)

Sadly I will probably watch this.


And I might even pay. 


DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 21, 2012)

Just like you will pay to go see TDKR 

and touch yourself to sexiness that is Anne Hathaway


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 21, 2012)

I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF! 



Well, at least not to Horseface Hathaway. Maybe Bane's penis or Bale's abs.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 21, 2012)

will Tala be hot?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 21, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I WILL NOT TOUCH MYSELF!
> 
> 
> 
> Well, at least not to Horseface Hathaway. Maybe Bane's penis or Bale's abs.



there be times where bale and bane or tala wont be on screen time and thats when your mid way into your session you will have no choice but to continue with Anne.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 21, 2012)

I'll just hold my hand over the top half of my eyes to block out her face.


She has some decent hooters.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 21, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I'll just hold my hand over the top half of my eyes to block out her face.
> 
> 
> She has some decent hooters.



Still its Anne 

its like being with a Butherface eventually you just cave in


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 21, 2012)

I would date Anne Hathaway.

I won't lie about that.

But she better put out or it's fucking dumpsville.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 21, 2012)

Its the same for all women



except fat chicks


thick chicks are a 50/50


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 21, 2012)

Thick chicks are where it's at most of the time.

Fat chicks...  Only if you're desperate.


----------



## Soledad Eterna (Mar 22, 2012)

^Discriminator


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 22, 2012)

here


----------



## dream (Mar 22, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> here



>Turtles with tits



But he does make a point, I am curious to how Bay will fuck up.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 22, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Thick chicks are where it's at most of the time.
> 
> Fat chicks...  Only if you're desperate.



Fat chicks smell.

True story.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

All chicks smell.


Just the fat ones smell bad for reasons unrelated to poonstank.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 22, 2012)

Nah the fuckable chicks always have good perfume on.

Fat chicks just smell of Big Mac meal grease.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

Once you get down nose-deep into a taint you'll discover how a woman really smells.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 22, 2012)

You like smelling their ass?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 22, 2012)

You never heard the expression shit smell like roses ?


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> >Turtles with tits
> 
> 
> 
> But he does make a point, I am curious to how Bay will fuck up.




>yfw April O'neil is played by Christina Hendrix and has alien freak babies with Raph and one of them comes out looking like Lindsey Lohan PRE-drugs. (Ya know, the red headed...busty-as-fuck freckled smexy bitch)


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

You have to get your face deep. Deep into that crack.


DEEP.


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You have to get your face deep. Deep into that crack.
> 
> 
> DEEP.



I once dated a fatty myself. Went down on her a few times and lemme tell you...CMX knows his shit. (No puns, no puns.)


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 22, 2012)

Sir I expected a pun


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

Fatties are like a finely aged wine; they require a refined palate.


----------



## James Bond (Mar 22, 2012)




----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> Sir I expected a pun




GET MAD SONNNN!!!!!


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 22, 2012)

MajorThor said:


> GET MAD SONNNN!!!!!



You dare

YOU DARE!

YOU DARE!!!!


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 22, 2012)

completely lovable


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

What is that?

Slutty Blonde Mutant Ninja Hookers?


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> completely lovable



I see Gonorrhea, Syphilis and Herpes. (From Left to Right)


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

STD-Laden Ninja Hookers.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 22, 2012)

I see my next tetanus shot


----------



## Death Certificate (Mar 22, 2012)

Looks like one of the creators of the TMNT has faith in Bay



> *Kevin Eastman* - "Hey Guys, Sorry to have been away for so long--completely swamped with work--but it is some pretty exciting stuff. I had been invited to check out the TMNT film development by my friend Scott Mednick over the years, and a while back had a full look behind the curtian at what writers Appelbaum and Nemec, director Liebesman, and producer Bay are doing--and trust me--it IS AWESOME. I'm officially on board, and will share more as I'm allowed... thanks all!"



I don't trust him


----------



## Achilles (Mar 22, 2012)

Money talks. Hope Bay paid him well.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

Question: will the movie be more based on the 90s cartoon (child-friendly) or like the darker comic book versions?

Hoping the latter.


----------



## dream (Mar 22, 2012)

I'm going with the 90s cartoon or a mix of both.


----------



## The World (Mar 22, 2012)

I want it to be like 90s movie with Raphael cussing

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNNN

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCmMbohXn6o[/YOUTUBE]



But it's Bay doing this, so it probably has Raphael picking up hookers while in a Ferrari going to the extreme end of the spectrum with this.


----------



## The World (Mar 22, 2012)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QmWQE6kZgc[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

I thought that scene was so fucking edgy when I saw it as a kid.

I was like, "Raphael said a cuss word! "


----------



## Achilles (Mar 22, 2012)

That Ninja Turtles movie was good times.

"Raphael, he's the leader of the group. Transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop."


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I thought that scene was so fucking edgy when I saw it as a kid.
> 
> I was like, "Raphael said a cuss word! "



Haha, I think we ALL felt the same way.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 22, 2012)

This new movie will be all CGI. Hope it's not bad like the Hulk in the first movie.


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> This new movie will be all CGI. Hope it's not bad like the Hulk in the first movie.



I'm pretty sure there's an unwritten rule that dictates that we never mention that movie...EVER!


----------



## Violent-nin (Mar 22, 2012)

Bay plans to ruin everyone's childhood by time his career is over.


----------



## vanhellsing (Mar 22, 2012)

why they can kill or at least stop this bastard


----------



## Achilles (Mar 22, 2012)

He's working his way through all the 80's action cartoons: Transformers, Turtles... Thundercats, Visionaries, M.A.S.K. Bayonic 6 (Someone already beat him to G.I. Joe though). 

He better be stopped before he gets to the 90's. Bay ain't touching Gargoyles.


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 22, 2012)

Achilles said:


> He's working his way through all the 80's action cartoons: Transformers, Turtles... Thundercats, Visionaries, M.A.S.K. Bayonic 6 (Someone already beat him to G.I. Joe though).
> 
> He better be stopped before he gets to the 90's. Bay ain't touching Gargoyles.



Gargoyles was pretty terrible anyway, bro. ;-)


----------



## -Dargor- (Mar 22, 2012)

Someone needs to shoot that asshole so he stops raping our choldhoods


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 23, 2012)

I want to see him try making a Pink Panther (cartoon) movie.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 23, 2012)

The irony is there will be a movie called Explosions and it wont have anything to do with Michael bay


----------



## dream (Mar 23, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> The irony is there will be a movie called Explosions and it wont have anything to do with Michael bay



The real irony will be that it'll have less explosions than a Bay movie, even TMNT.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 23, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> The real irony will be that it'll have less explosions than a Bay movie, even TMNT.



Just wait until he starts digging into real child hoods. Rugrats, Blues Clues, Rockos Modern life he is coming for them all.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 23, 2012)

Blue Clues movie with aliens and explosions?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 23, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Blue *Energy* Clues movie with * Mutanted alien Robots in disguise*  and explosions?



Fixd for accuracy again


----------



## dream (Mar 23, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Blue Clues movie with aliens and explosions?





That is a horrifying thought but we should be safe from such a travesty, there isn't any action in the source material.  That should keep Bay from direction a movie based off of it.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 23, 2012)

The dog is blue.

Energy is blue.

Dr. Manhattan blows things up.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 23, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> The dog is blue.
> 
> Energy is blue.
> 
> Dr. Manhattan blows things up.



He also went to space and was created by mutating from radiation


----------



## dream (Mar 23, 2012)

The dog as Dr. Manhattan?  I can live with that.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 23, 2012)

He is replacing the dude with shia lebouf


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 23, 2012)

Of course.

And he'll be an alien.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 23, 2012)

Just wait when he does that Transformers re-boot and no one transforms.


----------



## Ben Tennyson (Mar 23, 2012)

Aliens>Mutants nuff said.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 23, 2012)




----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 23, 2012)

Last image blocked by bluecoat filter. 



Wait a minute... *blue*coat filtering?  FUCKIN MICHAEL BAY!!!!!!


----------



## TetraVaal (Mar 25, 2012)




----------



## dream (Mar 25, 2012)




----------



## Ben Tennyson (Mar 25, 2012)

the movie will be good.


----------



## Federer (Mar 25, 2012)

Bay making a good movie?


----------



## Detective (Mar 25, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> The dog is blue.
> 
> Energy is blue.
> 
> Dr. Manhattan blows things up.



I just wanted to add to this line of thought that obviously the main theme song of the new Blues Clue's will be rap orientated if Bay has his way.

_"Yo, It's Me, And You, And My Bitch Blue"
"Huntin Down The Clues, Then We'll Put a Cap In You"_


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 25, 2012)

Detective said:


> I just wanted to add to this line of thought that obviously the main theme song of the new Blues Clue's will be rap orientated if Bay has his way.
> 
> _"Yo, It's Me, And You, And My Bitch Blue"
> "Huntin Down The Clues, Then We'll Put a Cap In You"_



The goddamn Detective is not just limited to being one race, no he is 25% of everything . This would explain why there is no one he cant emasculate or Defeminize and masculinize. 

I tip my bowler ol bean and smashing good post

 :


----------



## Stunna (Mar 25, 2012)

So, apparently the working title is just _Ninja Turtles._ Well, it's better than _Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles._


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 25, 2012)

I think if you're making a movie about an alien race of talking turtles the title to sell this should be Alien Turtles. Nobody cares about ninjas when aliens are involved. Unless aliens are ninjas themselves.


----------



## Stunna (Mar 25, 2012)

Yeah, but that's not as marketable as _Ninja Turtles._


----------



## dream (Mar 25, 2012)

Stunna said:


> Yeah, but that's not as marketable as _Ninja Turtles._



That's true, Ninja Turtles has a decent name recognition behind it, Alien Turtles doesn't at least when it comes to the name.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 25, 2012)

Turtliens.
Instant seller.


----------



## Detective (Mar 25, 2012)

Huey Freeman said:


> The goddamn Detective is not just limited to being one race, no he is 25% of everything . This would explain why their is no one he cant emasculate or Defeminize and masculinize.
> 
> I tip my bowler ol bean and smashing good post
> 
> :



I say, Laddy, that is a ripping good set your sporting there. That old chap Scizor did good work on what the published scientific society newsletter is calling electronic signatures and human personification avatars, if I have the terminology correct. What a bravo new age we live in. 



Stunna said:


> So, apparently the working title is just _Ninja Turtles._ Well, it's better than _Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles._



There is a rumour however circulating that the main villains of the film will be an organization instead of just one character, to give the whole storyline a greater scale.

It only makes sense since the Turtles will be considered Aliens either way, that the big bad of the franchise will be the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, or ICE as they will be known as in abbreviation. It's a nice throwback to the original ICE in the film franchise....

[YOUTUBE]GFLGRidfFo4[/YOUTUBE]
​


----------



## Stunna (Mar 25, 2012)

I'll see your video and raise you a Nostalgia Critic.


----------



## dream (Mar 25, 2012)

> It only makes sense since the Turtles will be considered Aliens either way, that the big bad of the franchise will be the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, or ICE as they will be known as in abbreviation.





I would love such a scenario.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 25, 2012)

The Canadian version will involve the Society of Nullifying Outside Wanderers or SNOW for short


----------



## Stunna (Mar 25, 2012)

Has Bay said who the villain is yet? I imagine Krang will be the big bad of the inevitable trilogy, with the Foot Clan being a special corp in the military, led by Shredder, of course.


----------



## dream (Mar 25, 2012)

Stunna said:


> Has Bay said who the villain is yet? I imagine Krang will be the big bad of the inevitable trilogy, with the Foot Clan being a special corp in the military, led by Shredder, of course.



I don't believe that he has yet or at least I couldn't find anything with a quick Google search.


----------



## Detective (Mar 25, 2012)

Stunna said:


> I'll see your video and raise you a Nostalgia Critic.


----------



## Stunna (Mar 25, 2012)

I'll concede for now... you win again, Detective.


----------



## Benzaiten (Mar 25, 2012)

lolwat

I just might watch this movie for the lulz


----------



## -Dargor- (Mar 26, 2012)

Stunna said:


> Has Bay said who the villain is yet? I imagine Krang will be the big bad of the inevitable trilogy, with the Foot Clan being a special corp in the military, led by Shredder, of course.





Obviously its gonna be Karai, whom will be played by some random hottie Bay will have boinked.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 26, 2012)

Bay is the douche twin brother of Michael Bolton


----------



## Benzaiten (Mar 26, 2012)

-Dargor- said:


> Obviously its gonna be Karai, whom will be played by some random hottie Bay will have boinked.



lol this is so right it hurts


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 26, 2012)

I wonder if this movie will have a script typed on a NF thread where all of the text is just jammed together and has no formatting.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 26, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I wonder if this movie will have a script typed on a NF thread where all of the text is just jammed together and has no formatting.



He has a stencil for his scripts


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 26, 2012)

That luck old fuckeroo.


----------



## Banhammer (Mar 26, 2012)




----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 26, 2012)

Alien Turtles.


----------



## Gabe (Mar 26, 2012)

any new news on the movie did they mess up something else like splinter being a mutated  alien dog not a rat. expecting the worse


----------



## dream (Mar 26, 2012)

Gabe said:


> any new news on the movie did they mess up something else like splinter being a mutated  alien dog not a rat. expecting the worse



Didn't hear anything new at the moment and it might be a while before we do.


----------



## Stunna (Mar 26, 2012)

I'm still betting money on government organization.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 26, 2012)

Bay should re-do the X-Men. Alien Xavier.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 26, 2012)

Splinter is part of a government operatives team that specializes in overseeing and controlling aliens.


As played by Samuel L. Jackson.


----------



## TSC (Mar 26, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Splinter is part of a government operatives team that specializes in overseeing and controlling aliens.
> 
> 
> As played by Samuel L. Jackson.


----------



## dream (Mar 26, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Splinter is part of a government operatives team that specializes in overseeing and controlling aliens.
> 
> 
> As played by Samuel L. Jackson.



He seems like the kind of person who fits those roles.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 26, 2012)

I can see it now.

His monicker of "Master" being a reversal on slavery.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 26, 2012)

Jim fucking Carrey for Michelangelo


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 27, 2012)

> I'm gonna make them aliens. Discussion over.


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 27, 2012)

Bay is becoming the American Uwe Boll. I like it.


----------



## dream (Mar 27, 2012)

MajorThor said:


> Bay is becoming the American Uwe Boll. I like it.



Bay will never be as bad as Boll.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> Bay will never be as bad as Boll.



Yeah? you seen nothing yet.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 27, 2012)

Boll is so bad theirs a petition going around for his retirement.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

There is a petition going around for the Assassination of Michael Bay.


I should know, I started it.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> There is a petition going around for the Assassination of Michael Bay.
> 
> 
> I should know, I started it.


whats the going rate? and what method you chose? Any discounts since its spring?
I may have a coupon


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm going to hire a ragtag team of Mexican hobos who will work for passage from Mexico to America and a pack of tamales.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I'm going to hire a ragtag team of Mexican hobos who will work for passage from Mexico to America and a pack of tamales.



Bay just hire them for construction


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

That's the trap.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> That's the trap.



or is it


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Yes.


Yes it is.


He'll hire them on to build him a set on the cheap and then, when he's jerking off to vintage video of nuclear explosions in his trailer, they will sneak cyanide into his chalupa.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

Just make sure they can read english dont want them mistaking mayonnaise for cyanide


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

I will print it in Spanish.

Mexicans don't know English.

Cyanido.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

*Spoiler*: __


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 27, 2012)

Bay says he has the creator of TMNT working with him for the script. Must have been threatened by explosions


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Bay probably has his family tied up in some Italian prison.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

I heard there was some sodomy involved with him and turtles.


----------



## The World (Mar 27, 2012)

Only Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage can save them


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 27, 2012)

There can only be one possible reason why the original creator would go through allowing Bay to shit on the movie by making them into aliens - money, the creator's probably like who gives a shit, I just want mah money


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Nicholas Cage for Krang?


I would love seeing Cage as a disembodied head/brain/thing.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

After fox kids butchered the turtles he probably just figured bay can do no worse.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Bay can damn sure try.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

In bay case he doesnt aim to top his last film he aims to out low them.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 27, 2012)

I still can't stop laughing that Bay has been directed again to do a re-boot of Transformers  Has to be one of the funniest shit I've ever heard in this industry.

What were they thinking?

"Okay Bay, your Transformers Triology was shit. Please re-do it again"


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Yeah, they are pretty dumb. Hollywood in general is.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 27, 2012)

Unless Bay threatened Hollywood


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Threatened them with what?

Blue energy and explosions? They can remove those in post.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

I hope he has daughters that goes into the adult industries so the guys can explode all over them


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Why would they do that? They'd be daddy's girls with billions of dollars accidentally falling out of their overstuffed vaginas.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 27, 2012)

They've been hired by Bangbros.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Why would they do that? They'd be daddy's girls with billions of dollars accidentally falling out of their overstuffed vaginas.



Why? You see who their father is


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Are you suggesting that he is a bad father and would drive them to porn?


Women's minds don't work that way. They only go to porn to make easy money. These girls would be born rich. They won't need easy money.

If anything they'd just put out a lot of sex tapes for the attention.


----------



## Tyrion (Mar 27, 2012)

Bay will be directing porn soon. 

"Explosion" porn industry


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

Well sex tapes still count 

also during the scenes if he gets into the industry will have random explosions in the background?


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Is he going to replace cumshots with blue energy explosive laser cannon shots that turn women into cyborg aliens?!?!?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Is he going to replace cumshots with blue energy explosive laser cannon shots that turn women into cyborg aliens?!?!?



every scene staring shia every fucking scene


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Mar 27, 2012)

*Spoiler*: __


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

So true.



So fucking true.


----------



## Bluebeard (Mar 27, 2012)

Michael Bay is doing this shit on purpose. 

Seriously, 'Ninja Turtles'? There literally is not point to this bullshit.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Mar 27, 2012)

By the way, he's not the director.


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 27, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> Bay will never be as bad as Boll.



I just reminded myself of the time where Boll was challenging critics out there to a boxing match where he hosted it with his Nazi Gold.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 27, 2012)

Casey Jones will be a down-on-his-luck homeless teenager.


----------



## MajorThor (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Casey Jones will be a down-on-his-luck homeless teenager.


----------



## Grape (Mar 27, 2012)

Someone must stop Michael Bay. Transformers is one thing, but the fucking TMNT? Jesus River Dancing Christ, go fuck up something that isn't so near and dear to so many people  

Go remake Avatar the Airbender or Pokemon or something.


----------



## Glued (Mar 27, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Casey Jones will be a down-on-his-luck homeless teenager.



How is that different form a down-on-his-luck homeless ex-hockeyplayer suffering from rage issues.


----------



## Stunna (Mar 27, 2012)

lol**


----------



## Glued (Mar 27, 2012)

Thats casey jones in a nutshell from the 90s movie.

An angry former professional hockey player who got hurt and lost his job.


----------



## Grape (Mar 27, 2012)

Ben Grimm said:


> Thats casey jones in a nutshell from the 90s movie.
> 
> An angry former professional hockey player who got hurt and lost his job.



Yeah but he was a fucking bad ass.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Mar 27, 2012)

I took a nap and dreamt the justice department arrested Bay for his atrocities , of helping dumbing down the human race. Many parades were thrown that day. too bad it was just a dream


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 28, 2012)

Ben Grimm said:


> How is that different form a down-on-his-luck homeless ex-hockeyplayer suffering from rage issues.


 He'll wear skinny jeans.


----------



## Glued (Mar 28, 2012)

He's already wearing jeans


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 28, 2012)

Low-rider skinny jeans.

And he will have a frohawk and mommy issues.


----------



## Stunna (Apr 1, 2012)




----------



## dream (Apr 1, 2012)

Well, at least we won't be seeing his acting.


----------



## Sedaiv (Apr 1, 2012)

Michael Bay is SUCH a shitty director. He's going to ruin the legacy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I'm not watching this shit-a-thon.


----------



## Gabe (Apr 1, 2012)

damn bay it is gonna be bad


----------



## Tyrion (Apr 1, 2012)

Aliens mixed with Twilight


----------



## dream (Apr 1, 2012)

A.Glover92 said:


> Aliens mixed with Twilight



Can't wait to see sparkling turtles.


----------



## Federer (Apr 1, 2012)

Everyone who ever bought a ticket for a Bay movie should go to hell. 

He embodies everything that's wrong with Hollywood.


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Apr 1, 2012)

Taylor Lautner still has a career? Isn't he one of the worst actors in Hollywood?


----------



## dream (Apr 1, 2012)

He's a pretty boy that girls like, of course  he would still have a career.


----------



## Glued (Apr 1, 2012)

LOL that is awesome.


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 8, 2012)

I predict fail of epic proportions


----------



## The Weeknd (Apr 8, 2012)

Well fuck. Taylor Lautner is its


----------



## Stunna (Apr 8, 2012)

That was an April Fools.


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 8, 2012)

we're doomed, game over man


----------



## The Weeknd (Apr 8, 2012)

JOY TO THE WORLD IT WAS AN APRIL FOOL


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 8, 2012)

I don't trust Bay


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 9, 2012)

If only the entire movie was an April Fools.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 9, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> If only the entire movie was an April Fools.



The April Fools would be actual mutants .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 9, 2012)

You're an alien.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 9, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You're an alien.



I am here to force the force the human species to love each other and I have selected you and Anne Hatheway as my test subjects .


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You're an alien.



he's an illegal alien lol


----------



## MajorThor (Apr 10, 2012)

CMX, your new sig is fucking terrible. Fix it.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

MajorThor said:


> CMX, your new sig is fucking terrible. Fix it.



  CMX writing novels , then again Paris hilton wrote a top seller.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

You liked Anne Horseface on a Batbike more?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You liked Anne Horseface on a Batbike more?



Thats like asking me to take a cyanine pill or putting a bullet to the head. There is no benefit from that lose-lose situation.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

Interesting position.

I'll be sure to bring it up in our next staff meeting (this is code for you're fired).


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Interesting position.
> 
> I'll be sure to bring it up in our next staff meeting (this is code for you're fired).



I already slept with two members of the board of directors .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

Did you get head?

If you didn't get head it isn't personal and doesn't count.

I got a couple swab jobs from the CEO himself.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Did you get head?
> 
> If you didn't get head it isn't personal and doesn't count.
> 
> I got a couple swab jobs from the CEO himself.



They have a kid each, both of them is slightly hispanic, guess who they are for? This guy .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

You're getting head from a child?



Reporting.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You're getting head from a child?
> 
> 
> 
> Reporting.



You know what I meant from my lack of grammar skills.

Reporting you for having those sick thoughts


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

You're putting thoughts into my head! 


Reporting for reporting and putting thoughts into my head.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You're putting thoughts into my head!
> 
> 
> Reporting for reporting and putting thoughts into my head.



Your mind is weak.

Reporting for being gullible to think those things from a simple choice of words.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

Reporting.


Just because you're a bad person.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Reporting.
> 
> 
> Just because you're a bad person.



Reporting because your face gives me nightmares.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

That's the idea.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

I see where the Empire/Galactic republic got the design idea for the troopers helm .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

Yes, I am a beautiful man.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

I thought you were rugged dyke .


----------



## MajorThor (Apr 10, 2012)

Reporting both of you for being retarded.    :korradealwithit


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

I would post a picture of my penis to prove I am a man, but I fear that not only would I be banned, but the sheer animal lust created by all of the women seeing my penis would cause the forum's activity limits to capsize, crashing the forums and destroying the only thing I still love.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I would post a picture of my penis to prove I am a man, but I fear that not only would I be banned, but the sheer animal lust created by all of the women seeing my penis would cause the forum's activity limits to capsize, crashing the forums and destroying the only thing I still love.



Didnt know they made cameras with a zoom that powerful.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

They do.

It's called the Hubble Telescope, designed to view massive celestial bodies across the universe.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

Dream big or go home eh?


----------



## ~Gesy~ (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> That's the idea.



CMX after kitty pride one shotted juggernaut


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You liked Anne Horseface on a Batbike more?



dude that shit was creepy


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

~Gesy~ said:


> CMX after kitty pride one shotted juggernaut


No...it was more like this:




The Soldier said:


> dude that shit was creepy



I should make one that slowly morphs into a horse.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

You sure you are 100% male CMX? Each picture takes away from your credibility.  I need to ask Detective about this later .

Also Gesy the 1st picture was when he found out Juggs was gay .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm more manly than you.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I'm more manly than you.



You got to be when you are competing with someone who is 100% authentic .


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> That's the idea.



dude looks like he got surprise buttsecks


----------



## Jeepers Creepers (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm a ninja turtles fan and I don't give a shit.  Not because it's Michael Bay but because the appeal of the show was a bunch of anthromorphic turtles beating the crap out of people and the comics were satires of comic books at the time.  So long as the ninja turtles spend more time fighting than farting and waving their green balls around, I'm content.


----------



## Glued (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> That's the idea.



All these pages with you talking garbage about anne hathaway when you have mug like that.

Seriously?   :rofl


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

I never said I was a super model.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I never said I was a super model.



Even if you did we wouldnt believe you .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm sexier than you guys anyway.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I'm sexier than you guys anyway.



I as a man rather be Handsome than pretty .


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

There is a difference between sexy and pretty. The words aren't interchangeable. Your point is moot.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> There is a difference between sexy and pretty. The words aren't interchangeable. Your point is moot.



I am The Gentlemen the rules of the dictionary doesnt apply to my articulation, ol bean, So yes it is interchangeable because you already used the word beautiful to describe your looks so case and point.

.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 10, 2012)

Now you're just making up stuff.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> Now you're just making up stuff.



Who think they will believe more with their wankery?


----------



## dream (Apr 10, 2012)

I'll believe in CMX.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 10, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> I'll believe in CMX.



Hush you, stop showing up like child support  .


----------



## Stunna (Apr 10, 2012)

CMX is an inspiration to NFers everywhere. Why, he almost makes me want to write my own novel.


----------



## MajorThor (Apr 10, 2012)

I was watching TMZ earlier today and they caught Anne Hathaway and CMX walking out of a motel room together with the "sexin' the konoha" look.


----------



## The Soldier (Apr 10, 2012)

at least CMX didn't walk out of a hotel room with Justin Bieber


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Apr 11, 2012)

That would have been a step up, actually.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Apr 11, 2012)

CrazyMoronX said:


> That would have been a step up, actually.



Reported for admitting you would enjoy walking out with underage girls aka Justin Beiber. Also for being infected with Beiber fever .


----------



## Hatifnatten (Jun 16, 2012)

Hey, looks like this is actually *canceled*. At least for some time.

Hopefully until michael bay dies in an explosion.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Jun 16, 2012)

Hatifnatten said:


> Hey, looks like this is actually *canceled*. At least for some time.
> 
> Hopefully until michael bay dies in an explosion.



Just so he can come back from the dead in his full blue energy form ?


----------



## Bender (Jun 16, 2012)

CMX is a god among men people.


----------



## Hatifnatten (Jun 16, 2012)

Zombie michael bay...
This seems like a movie michael bay should make.


----------



## The Soldier (Jun 17, 2012)

Danger Doom said:


> Reported for admitting you would enjoy walking out with underage girls aka Justin Beiber. Also for being infected with Beiber fever .



Bieber my end up with 6 months in Jail, guess he'll change his name to Super Fudge


----------



## Gabe (Jun 17, 2012)

hopefully it does get canceled or get a new director who will not change it much


----------



## shit (Jun 17, 2012)

cmx rules

this movie would be bad

glad it's cancelled

danger doom's a player hater


----------



## Huey Freeman (Jun 17, 2012)

Bender said:


> CMX is a god among men people.



That beard does not grow itself that is all wisdom .


----------



## Death Certificate (Aug 26, 2012)

*Rumored Leaked script*



> The story starts at a warehouse, with what as described as "a military operation at full swing". At the center of this "operation": Colonel Schrader. You must be asking yourself, "Now, who in the world could that possibly be based off of?"


It's like the writers were watching an episode of Breaking Bad and said, "Hey, 'Schrader' sounds like 'Shredder'!"



> That's right; it's this story's version of the Shredder. His army is even referred to by the script as "the Foot", with no indication as to why. "Substation 16" and "Project Aries" are thrown around, and the focus quickly changes to a minor league hockey game in some small town.





> There, we meet Casey Jones: an 18 year old security guard for a furniture factory and amateur hockey player. You'd think the story would shift to April. However, she serves as Casey's high school sweetheart; the seemingly on-again, off-again girlfriend that causes nonstop drama between the two of them. April is moving to New York to intern for CBS (yes, they drop names in this movie) and she wants Casey to come with. He declines, saying that he has "important responsibilities" at home (because getting paid to sleep in a guard post takes a lot of responsibility).





> More stuff happens, Casey aids in their release and they escape the compound in an 18-wheeler (most likely because of its easy maneuverability, and the fact that it's just like driving a car). More stuff happens, and then the turtles tell Casey their story; that they were born as normal turtles, got mutated by a chemical spill and became teenaged mutant ninja turtles.






> And most importantly, for a story about "ninja turtles", the focus isn't on them. They don't even get a great introduction; Casey does. Think back on how the turtles were introduced in the original comic book. Better yet, think about how they were introduced in the first two movies. They fought some criminals, they won the fight, and it let you know you were watching a Ninja Turtles movie. How are they introduced in this script? Chained up, defeated and barely alive (and separated from Mikey, who's awaiting execution).
> 
> No, instead the focus is on this shit-hole human Casey, who pretty much demands that the turtles accommodate to him (especially with the whole color bandana bullshit, in a poor attempt to work that in there). It completely misses the mark in regards to Casey's... everything; instead of being a masked adult scrapper vigilante, he's just some shit-head kid. And the hockey game in the beginning of the script is completely redundant; it seems to only serve as a poor attempt at fan service (before proceeding with 119 pages of the opposite of fan service). It might as well have been called, "Teenage Human Unarmed Asshole".
> 
> And for some reason, Rafael keeps talking like his life is one big open mic night. Even when it's not appropriate (hint: it's never appropriate). And yes, I'm talking about the turtle with the red bandana; you know, the most violently belligerent one of the group was, for some stupid reason, cracking wise.




Source:


----------



## dream (Aug 26, 2012)

Eyefucks...

Well, at least the turtles aren't aliens.


----------



## Huey Freeman (Aug 26, 2012)

The fuck is this shit. Shredder a fucking military officer. The foot not a ninja clan. Casey fucking Jones a fucking security guard. Then they kill their 4 distinct personalities for Casey Jones the side character. Where the fuck is Splinter.

Fuck you Michael Bay just fuck you!


----------



## dream (Aug 26, 2012)

We all knew that it was going to suck.


----------



## Gabe (Aug 26, 2012)

that sounds bad. he is trying to kill my childhood's favorite comic and characters


----------



## masamune1 (Aug 26, 2012)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwRWkH8EEeo[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Furious George (Aug 26, 2012)

No, I refuse to believe that script is real life. 

I thought this was cancelled?


----------



## Stunna (Aug 26, 2012)




----------



## Gunners (Aug 26, 2012)

Yeah this film will be Transformers but with Turtles instead. Film will be centered around Casey's love life and him coping with being thrown into a new world.


----------



## Rukia (Aug 26, 2012)

That script sounds even worse than the script for the Robocop remake.

The prophecy is fulfilled?  The four brothers have returned?  Terrible.


----------



## typhoon72 (Aug 26, 2012)

Well fuck.

ck


----------



## dream (Aug 26, 2012)

Furious George said:


> No, I refuse to believe that script is real life.
> 
> I thought this was cancelled?



The most credible rumors regarding this have been that either it has been put on indefinite hold or has been delayed to May 2014.


----------



## Gallant (Aug 27, 2012)

*looks at script*



Screw you Bay! Leave my favorite franchises alone!


----------



## Reyes (Aug 27, 2012)

This is what people get for going to the transformers movies, can't wait to see him do My little pony too.


----------



## Jake CENA (Aug 27, 2012)

Turtle Warrior? The Prophecy? 4 brothers have returned? What in the actual ck?


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 27, 2012)

geez if I wanted to watch something this awful I would go watch Sucker Punch or Battleship


----------



## Jake CENA (Aug 27, 2012)

Battleship's story is miles better than this trash. Colonel Schrader? wtf


----------



## Sanity Check (Aug 27, 2012)

Oh, lawd.  I hope he makes all 4 turtles raging homosexuals and Shredder a vegan terrorist.

At least that would be original...  and represent a higher standard of artistic value and character development than Michael Bay is accustomed to producing.


----------



## Velocity (Aug 27, 2012)

So the Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles film is coming along nicely?


----------



## Huey Freeman (Aug 27, 2012)

Velocity said:


> So the Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles film is coming along nicely?



You are asking for a fight with that trolling .


----------



## Sanity Check (Aug 27, 2012)

Velocity said:


> So the Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles film is coming along nicely?



As expected of Michael Bay whose reputations precedes him.


----------



## hiddenmistmansss (Aug 27, 2012)

Michael Bay will not destroy my childhood the way James Wong destroyed it...He must be stopped


----------



## Tyrion (Aug 27, 2012)

Will Master Splinter be a rat in this film? Or something else?


----------



## ZERO PHOENIX (Aug 27, 2012)

1mmortal 1tachi said:


> Oh, lawd.  I hope he makes all 4 turtles raging homosexuals and Shredder a vegan terrorist.



When were you under the impression that the turtles weren't raging homosexuals?


----------



## Narcissus (Aug 27, 2012)

Those script leaks. 

I knew it would be bad, but this has the potential to actually be even worse than Transformers.


----------



## Tyrion (Aug 27, 2012)

Turtles don't have dicks.


----------



## Es (Aug 27, 2012)

That summery gave me cancer


----------



## ZERO PHOENIX (Aug 27, 2012)

Es said:


> That summery gave me cancer



 Oh wait.  Don't say that.  Still, rep.


----------



## Sanity Check (Aug 27, 2012)

Tyrion said:


> Turtles don't have dicks.



rong

.

.


----------



## dream (Aug 27, 2012)

Narcissus said:


> Those script leaks.
> 
> I knew it would be bad, but this has the potential to actually be even worse than Transformers.



I think that it's pretty close to being guaranteed to be worse than Transformers.


----------



## Rukia (Aug 27, 2012)

Tyrion said:


> Will Master Splinter be a rat in this film? Or something else?


He will be a monk.  Think Chow Yun Fat in The Medallion.


----------



## Stunna (Aug 27, 2012)

Splinter will be played by Ken Jeong.


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 27, 2012)

Es said:


> That summery gave me cancer



I think it gave all of us Cancer


----------



## Death Certificate (Aug 27, 2012)

Who gonna be in the cast, for this shitty movie?


----------



## Narcissus (Aug 27, 2012)

Eternal Goob said:


> I think that it's pretty close to being guaranteed to be worse than Transformers.



I know, it's just dificult to imagine that Bay could sink any lower.


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 27, 2012)

Death Certificate said:


> Who gonna be in the cast, for this shitty movie?



just like the Dragon Ball Live action movie, I will be passing this one as well


----------



## Roman55 (Aug 27, 2012)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onHtoKkGaoE[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Dark Knight Spike (Aug 27, 2012)

The disgust and intrigue are in my face 


It's like a car crash waiting to happen, you don't want it to happen but at the same time you root for it to happen.


----------



## GaaraoftheDesert1 (Aug 27, 2012)

[YOUTUBE]47bT5rKGbZ8[/YOUTUBE]
Funny how Bay is the 2nd highest paid celebrity globally...


----------



## Cthulhu-versailles (Aug 28, 2012)

tmnt 1 and 2 were fantastic. number 1 had casey jones and the magical ralph in the garbage scene. number 2 had the opening clowns and tokar + razor. what the turtles needs isn't just some director who loves big explosions, but a writer who can make fresh old school sayings seldom ever spoken by youth anymore. 

ps- making the turtles comes from space and generally destroying their origin is spitting in the face of the entire franchise. having the turtles take on space monsters or whatever is one thing, but changing the ooze...


----------



## Roman55 (Aug 28, 2012)

Yep. That's straight from the script.


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 28, 2012)

Roman55 said:


> [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onHtoKkGaoE[/YOUTUBE]




[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35TbGjt-weA[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Roman55 (Aug 28, 2012)

I can crop up more script stuff if anybody wants.

I warn ya, it's painful.


----------



## ZERO PHOENIX (Aug 28, 2012)

Roman55 said:


> I can crop up more script stuff if anybody wants.
> 
> I warn ya, it's painful.



I would pay to read this shit.


----------



## アストロ (Aug 28, 2012)

Didn't they already postpone or scrap this?
Michael Bay is going to do another Transformers - and wasn't it confirmed.
Better that he doesn't touch this film at all and let someone else take the helm.


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 28, 2012)

Roman55 said:


> I can crop up more script stuff if anybody wants.
> 
> I warn ya, it's painful.



again

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35TbGjt-weA[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Jake CENA (Aug 29, 2012)

Master Splinter is a fucking broomstick. Fuck you Bay.


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 29, 2012)

TerminaTHOR said:


> Master Splinter is a fucking broomstick. Fuck you Bay.



refer to my previous post on that one


----------



## Delta Shell (Aug 29, 2012)

Oh I hope Tyrese is in this!!


----------



## Rukia (Aug 29, 2012)

Death Certificate did a good job naming this thread.  Laugh every time I see it.


----------



## The Soldier (Aug 30, 2012)

Rukia said:


> Death Certificate did a good job naming this thread.  Laugh every time I see it.



sounds about right


----------



## Tranquil Fury (Aug 30, 2012)

Michael Bay's movies have become parodies of themselves at this point.


----------

