# Rise of the Elephant - Main Thread



## Chaos (Jul 10, 2010)

Rise of the Elephant - Main Thread

_Welcome in the city of dreams. The city of elephants. The shiny buildings shine, the shiny cars shine, and the shiny elephants... do whatever the fuck they like. This is were your elephant lives. Go have a good time. Do remember, you can do everything, anything and all things. Now do it._​*
Ladies and gentlemen, this is NOT a second OOC thread. You post here what your elephant is doing. All random nonelephantrelated shit goes into the OOC. Thank you.*

**


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## Nimademe (Jul 10, 2010)

"Justice among Elephants, the one protecting the rest! Called by trunk, tusk, and tooth, ELEPHANT CYBORG STRONGER!" said a green mechanical elephant, trunk raised in triumph.


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## WolfPrinceKiba (Jul 11, 2010)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODy3CiS7H4o[/YOUTUBE]


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

I will transcend God.

Edit
_*I am serious*_


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## WolfPrinceKiba (Jul 11, 2010)

*IF MOTHERFUCKING POACHERS TRY TO KILL ME SO THEY CAN TAKE MY TUSKS, I'LL STOMP THEM!!!!*


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

WolfPrinceKouga said:


> *IF MOTHERFUCKING POACHERS TRY TO KILL ME SO THEY CAN TAKE MY TUSKS, I'LL STOMP THEM!!!!*



FUCK YEAH!!


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## WolfPrinceKiba (Jul 11, 2010)

The elephant goes like this and that, this and that, this and that. 
The elephant goes like this and that, 
Cause he's so big and he's so fat! 

He has no fingers and has no toes, He has no fingers and has no toes. 
He has no fingers and has no toes, 
But goodness, gracious, what a nose!


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## WolfPrinceKiba (Jul 11, 2010)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5ojV1r1XHM&feature=PlayList&p=EAB240128082FF2C&playnext_from=PL&index=3[/YOUTUBE]

JUNGLE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

WolfPrinceKouga said:


> [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5ojV1r1XHM&feature=PlayList&p=EAB240128082FF2C&playnext_from=PL&index=3[/YOUTUBE]
> 
> JUNGLE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You crazy bastard


*Spoiler*: __ 



[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kqKOlcaZuI[/YOUTUBE]


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## WolfPrinceKiba (Jul 11, 2010)

TheYellowFlash10 said:


> You crazy bastard
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...




Where is your god now?


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## Captain Obvious (Jul 11, 2010)

A large blue elephant stumbles down the street, she suddenly wanted to speak, so, being omnipotent she did.

"Tree!  Rock!  Human!" she spoke, stating the names of obvious things she saw.  The elephant then charged forward, "Car!" she exclaims, stepping on a car.  "Cliff!" she then exclaims, as she runs off a cliff.


"Thank you for choosing ElephantsRUs for all your responing time.  Have a nice day, and don't fall off another cliff." a voice says as the elephant walks out again.

"I want to paint now." she says, stepping on a human and using the blood to paint on the ground.


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

WolfPrinceKouga said:


> Where is your god now?



I don't believe in Him..
...


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

A elephant vs. 7 lions

Fuck yeah 
I didn't know that I love elephants


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 11, 2010)

Captain Awesome, the awesome pink elephant suddenly woke up, finding himself floating in space on top of planet earth. 

Opening his mouth, he then sends a Death Ray Beam at the entire planet, planning on eradicating all life itself except for fellow elephants.


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## Chaos (Jul 11, 2010)

_The chaos is unbelievable as Captain Awesome destroys Earth. Everything is dead. Everything is broken. Except for the elephants. And me. After five posts here, I might restore earth. For now, have fun in space, elephants!_


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## nick1689 (Jul 11, 2010)

SPACE DISCO

Zero gravity could never stop ElePHUNK from getting his PHUNK on


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

I like the "Zero Gravity". It suits Roy


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 11, 2010)

'Space...is not the final frontier, for Captain Awesome,' said the pink Elephant as he danced to the non-existent music with ElePhunk. While breakdancing away, visions of the past flooded into his omnipotent brain.

2010 - World Cup and this really annoying sound coming from these plastic horns. They were nothing like an elephant blowing his trunk. What were they called again? Oh right, Vuzuelas. 

'Fucking vuvuzelas,' thought Captain Awesome to himself as he winked with one eye, and proceeded to eliminate vuvuzelas from all time and space, all dimensions, all parallel timelines and all universes simultaneously, ' Oh and for lulz I'll tell someone all the results of the World Cup.'

Winking with his other eye, Captain Awesome selected a random octopus in a random aquarium and proceeded to transfer all knowledge of the 2010 world cup. Germany loses to Serbia...England draws versus Algeria, Spain beats Holland in the finals...all these results in the past he transferred back to the past and everything that Captain Awesome did was awesome because he's captain awesome and because as a timelord elephant, he loved trolling the past.


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## nick1689 (Jul 11, 2010)

After loling at how shit Captain Awesome was at DISCO, elePHUNK pulled his gigantic DISCO ball out of his ass.

As he was trying to tie the DISCO ball to Captain Im-shit-at-DISCO's (he's not awesome anymore elePHUNK believed) small tusks (elePHUNK was not surprised that they were small), beams of bright yellow light burst out from the DISCO ball, firing rapidly in all directions.

"Oh shit the sun", elePHUNK grooved, "Its reflecting everywhere!" 

<<

>>



"GIANT UNIVERSE DANCE FLOOR GET"


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## Chaos (Jul 11, 2010)

_With a loud bang, seemingly from out of nowhere, the Earth was back. The almighty Creator had decided it was time for some more city-roaming, instead of space-roaming. The earth is indestructible for 20 posts._


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## timmysblood (Jul 11, 2010)

Emophant wakes up to the cruel misunderstanding world , he brushes his black hair out of his eye's and starts slitting his wrist's with his tusks.

"The only thing I can feel Is PAIN and HATRED!" whispers Emophant

Emophant dig's into his skin more as blood keep's spilling out . Oddly enough he feels aroused and starts masturbating.

"The pain  feels so goooood !" Emophant shrieks out loud

He keeps cutting deeper and deeper , the more he cuts the better he feels . He start's cutting his stomach and his neck as the blood pours out Emophant loses oxygen to his brain . And Finally when he's  about to die he has the best orgasm in his life .With Emophant juice sprayed all over himself ,  he slowly dies as other elephants quickly  back away from the spectacle that was.



Emophant respawns in a cold dark room where it looks like other elephants are re-born. As he looks around he realizes he see's differently , he can see what other elephants do before it happens. Not only that but he can see the hatred and pain inside them just by looking . 

"could it be?" 

Emophant quickly brings out his mirror he always carry's around with him  looks to see what has changed . As he looks in the mirror his eye's widened , the mirror drop's  from his hand breaking on the cold stained floor.Emophant finally has what he always wanted.

"_ sharaphantagans_ "

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vK_98zILDo[/YOUTUBE]


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## Soul (Jul 11, 2010)

Well, my elephant is now raging because of the result of the World Cup


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 11, 2010)

'Shut your gob ElePHUNT,' said Captain Awesome having caught the other elephant laughing at him, 'Unless you're laughing at my awesomeness or I'm funny because I'm awesome or because everything I do is awesome -because well, I'm Captain Awesome.'

Flying back immediately to earth, he stamped his ground, and a magical bolt came out of the ground and flew towards ElePHUNT intending to seal his mouth - the result of which was unknown, success or failure. Captain Awesome thought after all, that god-modding wouldn't exactly be too awesome.

While waiting on this outcome, he decided to pursue other interests. 'Death and destruction - aren't they just one side of the coin? If I am the master of destruction, then I am also the master of creation, and creating stuff is awesome, so I will do it,' he boomed, creating sound waves that were transmitted to the entirety of the earth so that all could hear his words, 'Therefore I will create some grass because I like eating Savannah grass.'

He flew to a random city called London and said, 'Let there be Savannah.'

And the streets of dried chewing gum that were not removed because the city council had no money to do so, were transformed into a Savannah complete with lions, grass and cheetahs. 

And Captain Awesome saw that it was good.

And he called it, 'Awesome Land.'

Hopefully the human authorities wouldn't mind too much. But meh, he was omnipotent.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxAO-a0KrAQ[/YOUTUBE]


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## Shay (Jul 11, 2010)




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## Candy (Jul 11, 2010)

Pickles Picked up one hooker and put it in the crate, "Thats one!" He then picked up the rest of the hookers and stuffed them in the crate, And after finally sitting on the crate to keep it closed, pickles was finished. "Pimpin sure is hard wok, I have to ship my wonderful hookers all across the world to gain recognition of kim jong yil!"complained pickles in a loud voice. 

Pickles then proceeded to find a toilet, because shipping hookers make shim want to take a crap. Pickles sat down on the slick clean toilet seat and pushed with all his might to try to get the 11 foot piece of crap out of his rectum. In fact he even screamed out of his trunk to try to get it out; eventually he got so enraged at that piece of crap that he grew spiky hair out of his head and had his eyes turn green. He had become a super saiyan. So with that he used his saiyan powers to use a kamehameha out of his butt, forcing the crap out. He was very happy that he had gotten it out, but there was a problem.

He had blown up all his hookers, along with the ware house and toilet.


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## Shay (Jul 12, 2010)

Shaylephant awoke from his slumber.

"*HUNGRY.*"

Shaylephant decided to create a sandwich and eat it.

It was an excellent sandwich, save for the fact that he realized approximately 3.5 bites into the meal that he was not actually a carnivore, and he had created a turkey sandwich.

"*ANGRY.*"

Shaylephant warped the sandwich into the sun, and blew up the sun, before creating a new sun. All was well, except he was still hungry.

While figuring out what to eat, Shaylephant casually cured cancer and devastated a nearby asteroid belt with the sheer power of AWESOME. He then realized AWESOME was probably copywritten by Captain Awesome, and that the royalty bill on that was going to be horrific. Shaylephant frowned.

He decided to spontaneously bring everyone back to life who had ever died in the form of a Kage Bunshin of Kakashi and have them all fight to the death with the following restrictions ::

Starting Distance :: 5 m
Location :: Valley of the End
Restriction :: No Taijutsu
State of Mind :: Bloodlusted

After hearing a thousand infinite poofs of smoke, Shaylephant was pleased. The forums were going to enjoy going over this one, but he would, in the meantime, enjoy the actual re-enactment.

The final Kakashi screamed, "COBB SALAD", before dissipating into nothingness.

Shaylephant supposed he would have to make himself a salad.

He settled on a granola bar.


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## nick1689 (Jul 12, 2010)

ElePHUNK wondered what the hell was wrong Shaylephant, so he grooved over to him and vomited a rainbow on that white bastard.

Shaylephant is now an awesome rainbow colour, RAINBOWphant

Its time to DISCO


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 12, 2010)

'My savannah? BURNED? THIS IS NOT AWESOME!' said Captain Awesome angrily as he went from pink to red. He was now a red timelord elephant, 'ANYTHING THAT IS NOT AWESOME SUCKS. ANYTHING THAT SUCKS MEANS WAR!'

He stamped on the ground as he looked at his creation, Awesome-land now burning and in all his rage, he became larger and larger until he was a huge red elephant of rage and fear and the size of Great Britain - still awesome but angrily awesome. For a moment Captain Awesome was about to bellow out a huge fireball of rage and death at Shaylephant but upon seeing his new rainbow colour decided not to. 

Why?

 'Cause Rainbows are awesome,' said Captain Awesome to himself before shrinking back to his normal size having inadvertently destroyed many sky scrapers and left England in a state that can only be summed up as a pool of blood. Furthermore despite being omnipotent, Captain Awesome still believed that eating and drinking was awesome even though as an immortal being he didn't need to. Nevertheless, he vacuumed up the pool of 60 million people's blood with his trunk and ate a few skyscrapers in the process.

That was when he started to feel stronger. His body pulsed, and what remained of the human pool of blood that wasn't drunk began to reform due to the energies surrounding Captain Awesome. Rubble turned to buildings once more and people were resurrected from their blood and bones. 

It was enlightenment. 

Using the digested skycrapers, Captain Awesome began to transmute his new body.

Elephant? No. He would not be limited by such trivial physics. He would transcend.

TO BECOME THE ELEDRAGON WITH WINGS OF STEEL AND CONCRETE.

AND THUS WINGS OF SKYCRAPER BURST OUT FROM HIS BODY AND HIS SKIN TURNED TO LIZARD-LIKE SCALES. AND THEN HE FLEW.

BUT HE WAS TOO HEAVY AND HIS WINGS BROKE SO HE FELL.

(Concrete and steel apparently sucks as a material for wings.)

-and splat. Captain Awesome died. Well physically died anyhow.


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## timmysblood (Jul 12, 2010)

Emophant went to Shaylephant's fortress of awesome and happiness , with his new found power he decided he would destroy anything not emo in this world.

With his sharaphantagans Emophant tried to light the  fortress on fire ,  little did Emophant know the fortress was immune abilities with the element that is Emo. His attacked failed , but thousands of kakashi kage bushins suddenly appeared out of nowhere and attacked Emophant.

Emophant went into a blood bathed psychopathic rage against the Kakashi clones ,  utilizing his 2 tusk style against them he gored hundreds of them at a time . The Kakashi clones were pathetic against the onslaught of Emophant there lighting blades bounced off Emophants blood Aura . With everyone he killed Emophants power grew , until he felt something inside him . 

On his skin Emophant began growing  sharaphantagans , as he killed more and more there size grew until they covered his entire body. He felt there power raging ,until it needed to be released . 

" EmooBlassssstttttttt!"

Emophant shouted as pure  Emo energy released from each of the  sharaphantagans all around his body . Collecting into one singular attack , it penetrated the fortress of awesome and happiness .Creating a large whole throughout the entire building.As the dust settled the Kakashi clones dispersed and an awesome Elephant like figured appeared in the dust not yet distinguishable by Emophant.


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## On and On (Jul 12, 2010)

Cindy awoke to see her city turned into a lush savannah ripe with life.. and marijuana. Can marijuana live in a savannah? The words : IM A FUCKING ELEPHANT should sum it up nicely.

 Cindy rolled herself a human-sized blunt and set off into space to discover the truth of the universe. Mars was always a red, sore pimple on the face of the universe, so she warped it to another dimension with her Mangekyo Sharingan. Her maniacal drug-fueled laughter followed, yet ceased almost as quickly as it began. Her heightened Sharingan had picked up a chakra somewhere on the moon, so she teleported herself there. "That Madara Uchiha had some nifty tricks," she said to herself before landing.


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## Candy (Jul 12, 2010)

Pickles, after blowing up all his hookers, decided to find some new ones. So he stopped time and punched kim jong yil in the face. The leaders face exploded into a million pieces, "THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING ME HOOKERS WITH AIDS!"


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## On and On (Jul 12, 2010)

Cindy studied this strange world curiously; it was her first time being on the moon. She explored this new land of craters and mountain the color of ash until she arrived at a giant, cold, metallic structure. Surely it was some evil lord's lunar base. Strangely enough though, Cindy could see what appeared to be a strobe light coming from the reinforced glass at the top. Her ADD got the best of her, as she was captivated by the light show for at least an hour.

Coming back to reality, she realized that she was a big ass elephant smoking a big ass blunt outside of a big ass lunar base, where a big ass dance party was likely going down. She activated her camouflage and entered, cautiously. She found two elephants about her size, snorting blow off of some hooker's asscrack and playing ABBA.

"I brought the grass!" Cindy said, inviting herself to the party.


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## Shay (Jul 12, 2010)

Shaylephant was displeased.

*"Displeased."*

He had transformed into a RAINBOWphant.

Rainbow was indeed an AWESOME color, but this was not the work of Captain Awesome.

He tried to turn himself back to his Arctic White, but could not. He was cursed by the DISCO ELEPHANT, ElePHUNK.

*"DISCO?"*

Shaylephant, adjusting his top-hat and monocle, began to DISCO.

Shaylephant flew up in the upper dome of his moon base and began to disco while doing loops through the air.

Shaylephant then ate 40 humans, because he was capable of doing so. He grew wings and then the wings turned into children who went to work constructing a vending machine. Shaylephant then stepped on an air travelling space ant.

Then a laser blew through the side of his fortress. The Emo energy beam blew up the moon fortress with a gigantic hole.

Shaylephant regenerated his body and stood in the cloud of dust, displeased.

He turned Emophant into a bright Blue color, that was very appealing and not emo, as an act of revenge.

Shaylephant was about to exact further revenge but noticed a drug fueled dance party was overtaking his fortress.

Against his better judgment, Shaylephant decided to just say *"Fuck it,"* and join in the party, and take a hit before passing the joint along to the next elephant.

Shaylephant noticed he was bleeding still from the laser attack, and proceeded to urinate on his wound in order to heal it instantly. He then teleported to the rest room, took a massive dump, and warped back to the party, and drank a large beer through his snout. He drank another and turned his trunk into a beer fountain.

Despite the glaring hole in the fortress, the psychedelic dance party was now in full swing.

Life was good.


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 15, 2010)

And so Captain Awesome was dead, but he decided that being dead on thursdays wasn't awesome. Thus, he decided that he should be resurrected immediately. At that very thought, or impulse, or just willpower, the omnipotent elephant in a great explosion of light began to reform from his bloody mess. Like shattered pieces of a fallen vase being reversed in time, so did the blood flow back into Captain Awesome and his bones were made anew and in an instant he was intact and back together, his magnificent pink skin reflecting the sunlight.

Feeling bored, he decided to do a big shit at ElephantsRUs, such that the next resurrected or reborn omnipotent elephant would face a nasty and smelly surprise. Practical jokes like these were awesome to say the least and everything that he did was awesome anyway.

Looking round at the shiny buildings in the shiny city, he decided to make them dull and not shiny at all before proceeding to urinate. As Captain Awesome urinated, a puddle of golden liquid began to form, getting larger and larger. Touching the large puddle with his trunk, he then slowly withdrew it, magically pulling and dragging something away from the puddle in the process. It was the golden colour itself. Like a string that was stuck to the trunk, it was gradually pulled away and upon contact with the air, quickly dissolved into fine dust that Captain Awesome then collected.

With the puddle now clear like water, Captain Awesome touched the puddle again with his trunk. This time, the puddle itself began to shake vigorously, steam coming of it as the water inside began to boil. By temporarily transforming one of his eyes into a special microscope, he could see the various chemical molecules undergo complex reactions.

There was already ammonia inside the water, sulphur was being released from the hot puddle and there were swirling isotopes of carbon, iron and nitrogen too. Touching the water with his trunk yet again, he divided the puddle in two, parting the waves. One half suddenly began to shape itself, two arms of water, a face of water and legs of water, they all appeared. 

'Hmm. That's awesome. You shall be my familiar. Water Boy.'

And touching the small human-shaped figure of water, Captain Awesome imparted his omnipotent power onto his familiar - giving Water Boy the Power Awesome, a beyond cosmic ability that made Water Boy capable of withstanding even the attacks of omnipotent elephants - due to being awesome.

As for the other half of the puddle, Captain Awesome saw that it had its uses but realised that other things needed to be done. With his trunk, he snorted up some dust and dirt and took away a little bit of his own shit, and as if by magic, they all swirled around and around and around until a solid brown ball was formed. Satisfied with the result, he then added the fine golden dust to the brown ball and it was transformed into something that could only be called pure energy. Neither light nor dark, matter or anti-matter - it was simply there. It had the energy of a trillion, trillion, trillion stars, and it was as dense as all the black holes the universe contained. The pure ball of energy then seemingly shrunk into itself and with his special eye, Captain Awesome saw that it became small indeed. Smaller even then an electron, smaller than a quark.

But such energy could not be confined so easily. Quickly realising what would happen, Captain Awesome quickly created 4 barriers the size of a gold fish tank, capable of withstanding the end of the universe. The ball imploded upon itself the next instant and in a glorious flash of light and powerful release of energy, the containment field was filled. Inside the 4 barriers was the universe itself with trillions of galaxies expanding outwards as nebulae turned to micro-stars before his eyes.

Not forgetting the other half of the puddle. He levitated it with his telepathic powers and made it pass through the barrier as if the puddle had some kind of astral property. With a clack of his teeth, the puddle dispersed itself, scattering among the galaxies and giving them water and all the only chemicals necessary for the building blocks of life. 

And Captain Awesome saw that the mini-universe he had created was good, and beckoning Water-Boy to come forward, he thrust the barrier inside his familiar. It pulsed with powerful energy through his clear body.

'This shall be your power source. It is your Heart Of the Universe. With this, you now have your own set of powers, fueled by trillions of stars and black holes. Together with the Power Awesome, it shall make you worthy as my avatar and to be set forth to convert the world to my religion. Find too, other worthy elephants who wish to join my Pantheon. Do not be afraid of death, for you cannot die as your Heart of the Universe is in a constant cycle of big bang and big crunch. Go forth now, as my PHOENIX and MESSENGER,' commanded Captain Awesome.

In a blink of an eye, Water-Boy disappeared. No doubt to find other omnipotent elephants for the Pantheon and worlds to convert to the new religion.

As for Captain Awesome himself, he decided to take a nap. 'Cause sleeping was awesome and omnipotent beings tended to be lazy.


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## Shay (Jul 15, 2010)

Shaylephant went to sleep sometime after the party, and woke up. 

He turned on the television and began to watch the news, not that he needed to. He was omniscient. Here he saw news of Captain Awesome's creative exploits and familiar.

*"Jealousy."*

Shaylephant wanted to create and become a TV star, too.

He got in his car and drove from the moon to Chicago. There he replicated the massive dump that Captain Awesome had taken, and realized that it was rainbow as his skin was due to the curse of ElePHUNK.

*"Anger."*

Shaylephant got discouraged and decided to do a dance that turned him into a butterfly. It worked, but failed a second later. He realized that the curse that had changed his color also left him somewhat weakened.

"Hey, Elephant, you want some peanuts?" A stadium peanut vendor walked over waving a bag of peanuts.

Shaylephant pulled his wallet from his trunk and gave the guy 5 dollars. He then inhaled the peanuts with his trunk and used it to drink some water from a hose.

Water Boy formed inside his stomach and burst outwards from within and out into the sky, one step closer to spreading his message.

*"Stomach cramp!"*


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 15, 2010)

Water-Boy soon found himself in a reservoir, a plan of action quickly forming in his mind. No doubt he could teleport to many places, and no doubt with the Power Awesome, he was a cosmic-level being but he had to do things slowly and subtlety, otherwise he wouldn't be spreading a religion so much as blitzing the universe with it. The water system served as a transportation network. With it, he would be able to travel from one house pipe to another, from one sewage tunnel to a toliet and etc. Furthermore, water had always had some symbolism in religions. 

Thus the small human-shaped water familiar found himself diving into the Resevoir, and before long he was traveling through many tunnels and pipes. Then all of a sudden, his surroundings were constricted and he could see the light shining outside through the tunnel walls. He moved his hand over the material. It was a hose. The next second he had landed in a large smelly expanse that also appeared acidic before he exploded forth to explore.

Freedom. That was what Water Boy felt as he soared into the sky from a stomach - then he realized what his goal was. To spread the religion of the Omnipotent Elephants and to find new members of the Pantheon. Fueled by the constant energies of the universe itself, his heart pulsed and his body began to fly back, spotting that he had emerged from a rainbow coloured elephant. This was interesting indeed. The Power Awesome automatically alerted him to both the nature of the elephant and his name.

'Greetings, my Lord Shaylephant, the Rainbow Lord, the Arctic Conqueror, Incinerator of Savannah Land, King of Alpha Centauri, the Accursed One, Arch-Enemy of ElePHUNK,' said Captain Awesome's Familiar in a loud but squeaky voice as his voice-box bubbled, 'I am the emissary of Captain Awesome, the one whom others call THE DESTRUCTOR, Destroyer of Worlds, Creator of Universes, King of Savannah-Land, The Parter Of the Puddle and the Lord of Pink. Through me, he sends a message to all fellow omnipotent elephants - particularly the ancient ones, known as the FOUNDERS. He has sent me to ask whether you wish to join his Pantheon, to create a new religion, with which we shall convert the inhabitants of the Universe with. Only then, can our speedy goal of ACHIEVEMENTS be achieved. Do you accept this offer, Shaylephant? For the Pantheon may well aid you against ElePHUNK if you do, but ally with him if you so refuse.'


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## Shay (Jul 15, 2010)

Regenerating from his exploded internal organ failure, Shaylephant looked up at the Avatar of Awesome.

*"Pantheon?"* 

Shaylephant thought for a moment of how much he wanted to rid himself of the Rainbow Curse of ElePHUNK, and an alliance based on religion would be powerful indeed.

*"Achievements."*

The core of their power, hastily gained?

Shaylephant cleared his throat, and began to sing.

*"You, Good Avatar of Water,
From the Lord of Planetary Slaughter
Bring a message to me this day
So that we might bring light to all those who stray.
I do not wish for ElePHUNK to go strong
and to deny you would bring me much wrong
So today I accept your alliance.
What must we do now to bring global compliance?"*

Shaylephant adjusted his top hat and monocle, and blinked. A volcano on the otherside of the planet erupted and killed a squirrel.


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## M?gas Strategos (Jul 15, 2010)

Water-boy pleased with himself that Shaylephant had accepted the alliance and had joined the Pantheon, immediately tore apart his watery chest, the Heart of the Universe pulsing with cosmic energies as he did so. The telepathic message he had sent to Captain Awesome had been received and within a few seconds, the Pink Timelord Elephant slowly emerged out from Water-boy's chest as if the omnipotent Elephant was merely shedding a layer of skin.

Emerging out, Captain Awesome gave a hearty yawn, having been swiftly woken up by the telepathic disturbance. '*Excellent*,' he boomed, *'Then our religion is officially formed. We shall call it Eleph. Your assigned role on the Pantheon, Shaylephant, the Duke of the Moon, will be as the god of Commerce. While you are not restricted to using powers from other spheres or domains, it may be in your interest to build up this image by helping merchants and businesses. Remember however, that in becoming the god of Commerce, on the flip-side you must also manage Charity.

As for myself, I shall be the Lord of Creation, and on the flip-side, Destruction too.'*
_______

RELIGION CREATED: Eleph

Pantheon of Eleph:

God of Creation: Captain Awesome
God of Commerce: Shaylephant

__________

*'Our next goal*,' said Captain Awesome, Lord of Creation, slowly as his voice began to change in pitch from high to low - rattling with power, 'W*ill be to find other Omnipotent Elephants wishing to join our Pantheon. In doing so, we will create a powerful power-block indeed. My familiar and avatar, Water-boy, will be able to do the work too. Meanwhile, we should create a power-base for our religion. First though, we need followers. That means doing miracles, speaking to them in their heads and sending them dreams. By using a Belief-Power Generator, we can then transfer their belief into ourselves, making us even stronger and we can gain control over swathes of people to help us get more achievements.'*

All of a sudden he sneezed loudly, the earth rumbling as he did so, causing an earthquake and tsunami in the same place Shaylephant caused a volcano, and a normal elephant popped out of his trunk simultaneously.

'*As for your current curse. Let me destroy it, for I am awesome at destroying things. Water-boy, you help me out too for this curse is a powerful one and I require the Heart of the Universe*.'

Captain Awesome placed his feet on Shaylephant's body and began to channel his own omnipotent energy into it. When a clash of omnipotentence occurs, a draw is a very likely result and it favours the defender - in this case, ElePHUNK's curse. So nothing happens. However, by adding Water-Boy into the mix everything would change. 

And thus Water-boy's watery body pulsed with energy, his Heart of the Universe glowing brightly before he blew a massive raspberry in front of Shaylephant. Energy-imbued saliva was blown onto Shaylephant's skin and like magical soap, it bubbled and removed the Rainbow Stain. The bubbles multiplied in volume until it covered all of Shaylephant until eventually, no trace of discofunk colour could be found and all was perfect again.


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## Franky (Jul 16, 2010)

The Fuckin' G was walkin' round town,
His cock hangin' out ready to get down,
He looked pretty fuckin' fruity,
Looking for some elephant booty!
He was going for a 69
Searching for some big fat behind,
In his quest for the hoe,
He spotted a bro,
His name was pickles,
His situation was pretty fickle.
"My hoes got the aids!"
Pickles cried just wantin' to get paid!
"No worries my man"
Fuckin' G said with a shout
"Just stick'em in my van,
I'll clear them of doubt!"
So Fuckin' G took'em off his hands,
Givin' them all pink arm bands,
That labeled'em his,
yeah, that was the Biz...


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## Candy (Jul 17, 2010)

Franky said:


> The Fuckin' G was walkin' round town,
> His cock hangin' out ready to get down,
> He looked pretty fuckin' fruity,
> Looking for some elephant booty!
> ...



Pickles then froze time and ripped off this new elephants testicle. With a couple balls in his hands, he knew what he had to do. He opened up the 10th dimension and threw this elephants balls into there. The balls would never return.


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## Franky (Jul 17, 2010)

Candy said:


> Pickles then froze time and ripped off this new elephants testicle. With a couple balls in his hands, he knew what he had to do. He opened up the 10th dimension and threw this elephants balls into there. The balls would never return.



"Fuck that" said Fuckin' G with a smile, "I'll just grow them back! YAH!" He roared with power as his balls regrew in an instant, making Pickles's balls look like a peanut. Yes, 1 peanut. not 2.

The Fucking G took his 15-inch Cock and slammed it into Pickles, sending him flying into the wall. With a snap of his finger, rings appeared on his fingers, a striped suit on his sexy body, and a cane appeared in his hand. This is what a real, millionare pimp looked like. A cigar appeared in his mouth.

"You've gotta be kidding, I'm only bidding, that these hoes will grow me some dough, that I can count row by row, don't'cha feel me, bro?" The Fucking G said, busting a rhyme all over that sad sap of a pimp.

He took his cane and mashed it into Pickle's puny crotch. "You ain't got the tool, and you're just a fool! How can you satisfy a hoe if your dick just can't grow?"

The Fucking G was walking all over this fucker, and he knew it. There was no contending with his power, the Fucking G power. This fickle pickle was getting put in his place. But the G was a kind fellow, and decided to offer him salvation.

"My dear brother, it is such a bother, to pimp these hoes alone, and to walk around gettin' my dick blown, so why don't you join me, and fill your crotch with glee, makin' plenty of money, for the Fucking G?"

"We'll start a religion, the Fucking G-ism, always chasing after that hoe-ism, I'll be the god of G, you can be the god of hoe slappin' you see?"

Pickles had no choice but to accept, and so, the church of Fucking G-ism was born.
__________________________________

*Religion/Cult Cultivated:* Fucking G-ism

*Followers of the G:*
_God of Fucking G Creation:_ The Fucking G
_God of Fucking Hoe Slappin':_ Pickles


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## Shay (Jul 21, 2010)

*"WHITE!"*

The Duke of the Moon was so overjoyed to be freed from the Curse of Rainbow that he proceeded to the Moon Base and attached a Belief-Power Generator in accordance with Captain Awesome's plan. Now a giant Belief-Power Laser was affixed to the Moon Base.

He flipped the switch but realized too late that he had flipped the wrong one, for his Planet Destruction Laser.

He then blew up the entire planet.


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## Candy (Jul 21, 2010)

Franky said:


> "Fuck that" said Fuckin' G with a smile, "I'll just grow them back! YAH!" He roared with power as his balls regrew in an instant, making Pickles's balls look like a peanut. Yes, 1 peanut. not 2.
> 
> The Fucking G took his 15-inch Cock and slammed it into Pickles, sending him flying into the wall. With a snap of his finger, rings appeared on his fingers, a striped suit on his sexy body, and a cane appeared in his hand. This is what a real, millionare pimp looked like. A cigar appeared in his mouth.
> 
> ...



Then pickles broke out of his mind control and went into an alternate diminution, the 12th diminution to be exact. Here pickles manufactured an army of hookers that would kill the fucking G.

Pickles peeked out of his realm to see the earth explode, "Happy I wasnt on there" said pickles to himself.


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## Franky (Jul 21, 2010)

Candy said:


> Then pickles broke out of his mind control and went into an alternate diminution, the 12th diminution to be exact. Here pickles manufactured an army of hookers that would kill the fucking G.
> 
> Pickles peeked out of his realm to see the earth explode, "Happy I wasnt on there" said pickles to himself.



Before Pickles could even begin forming his armies, Fucking G entered his realm and flashed his cock to the millions of hookers Pickles had planned on enlisting. Upon seeing the glorious 27th wonder of the elephant world, the women all flocked to his cock, caressing it and sucking it, feeling it's hard structure. Fucking G had them under his control.

"You are all now followers of Fucking G-ism, now, as your first task, kill the treacherous leech! PICKLES!"

The women moved on Pickles and fucked him all night, giving him many STD's and causing his pathetic cock to bleed. Eventually, he died of a combination of AIDS and Blood Loss.


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## Shay (Jul 21, 2010)

The Duke of the Moon was most pleased with recent developments and began to read books on Economics and Commerce, befitting of his title as God of Commerce.

A baby elephant walked up to him and asked for a quarter, to which Shaylephant almost said no, then realized it was his role as the master of Charity to appease him.

He gave the elephant a quarter.

"*PROBLEMATIC.*"

He was considering what sort of implications this might have, and a possible revisement of his battle plan.

"*MONEY!*"


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## Franky (Jul 23, 2010)

The Fucking G returned to earth, where he was praised as a Hero for defeating Pickles. Who was his next target? Who knows. What would be do now? Who knew.

He began roaming the planet in the nude, helping bitches with their problems and raping hoes in all 3 holes. Fucking G became known as the "Travelling Pimping G" across the land...

_To be continued_


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## Shay (Jul 24, 2010)

*"AFRAID."*

While studying up on Economics and ways to make money, Shaylephant suddenly felt a chill up his spine.

Travelling Pimping G would indeed be a force that could ruin all his plans and destroy the sanctity of his Moon Base and dance club.

He decided to make an offering of peace.

*"WOMEN."*

To help stimulate the intergalactic tourist trade, Shaylephant beamed a coupon for an all expense paid vacation through the universe, on a tour of all the planets with hot women on them. He then instantly spawned a SPACE LIMOUSINE for the pimp to ride on in style with all his ladies.

Shaylephant decided he wanted to visit Earth but forgot he destroyed it, so then he decided to go and withdraw money from an ATM. He had forgotten his PIN Number.

Shaylephant scratched his head and adjusted his Top Hat and Monocle with his trunk.

*"ANGRY!"*


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## strongarm85 (Jul 24, 2010)

TheYellowFlash10 said:


> You crazy bastard
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...



You know what happens in the ending of the real fucking jungle book. The kid becomes part of a village and then eventually he becomes the outcast of the village by all the people living there. So he goes back into the jungle and gets all of all the animals together from before, and most of all the elephants and he leads a huge ass attack on the village and kills everyone. That's how the Jungle book really fucking ended.


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## Immortal (Jul 24, 2010)

Immortaphant sniffs Shaylephant's butt.


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