# Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales



## Thdyingbreed (Sep 20, 2013)

> UPDATED: Producer Jerry Bruckheimer reveals script issues behind the move, which follows the summer flop "The Lone Ranger": “We’re supposed to start [shooting] in March and you start spending a lot of money now.”
> 
> The next installment in Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise will be delayed beyond its planned summer 2015 release date, sources tell The Hollywood Reporter.
> 
> ...




Seriously...this is bull shit I've been waiting for another POC movie for ages now and 2015 was way too long already.


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## dream (Sep 20, 2013)

Another one?  

They should just put the franchise to rest.


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## Cheeky (Sep 20, 2013)

Who knows? Maybe the delay will give it a better chance at being any good.


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## Aging Boner (Sep 20, 2013)

releasing this shit in the summer of 2015 to compete with the other summer monsters was silly...J. Dee's makeup job is a tired act anyway.


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## Tranquil Fury (Sep 20, 2013)

They have'nt had an enjoyable movie since the original, each is progressively worse though you could argue POTC 4>POTC3. Not to mention this very likely mediocre and unfunny movie with budget issues is heavily to fail if it were to come out in 2015 so this is for the best.

I really do want this toxic franchise to improve but the chances are slim but who knows?Anything is possible.


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## Linkofone (Sep 20, 2013)

Wonder what the plot would be this time ...


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## Ennoea (Sep 20, 2013)

> Seriously...this is bull shit I've been waiting for another POC movie for ages now and 2015 was way too long already.



Waiting for what? Poor plots, bad acting, stupid humour? This series is a cancer. The sad fact is that this leprous, hideous carcass hasn't been put to rest completely, as assholes the world over paid money they earned to watch the last piece of shit. I curse you all.


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## Benjaminsen (Sep 20, 2013)

Linkofone said:


> Wonder what the plot would be this time ...


Golden Apple.

Calling it now.


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## Rukia (Sep 20, 2013)

I won't see it unless Keira Knightley returns.


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## Huey Freeman (Sep 20, 2013)

I for one enjoy Bloom using his Legolas accent .


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## Rukia (Sep 20, 2013)

I liked his Legolas accent more in Troy.  Really funny that he was trying to pass as a Trojan.


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## Linkofone (Sep 21, 2013)

Benjaminsen said:


> Golden Apple.
> 
> Calling it now.



Lol. Would be funny. Well ...


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## Gilgamesh (Sep 21, 2013)

Why do people dislike the movies apart from the first one?


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## Palpatine (Sep 21, 2013)

Gilgamesh said:


> Why do people dislike the movies apart from the first one?



Lackluster writing, awkward pacing, a lot of forced "exposition" coming out of nowhere (especially in the third one) and it's simply gotten old by now. 

I've never even seen the fourth one.


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## Stunna (Sep 21, 2013)

Indifferent.


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## Jay Kay (Sep 21, 2013)

I like the series a lot, always a good source of fun, so I'm looking foreward to the new movie. Shame it got delayed. Hopefully it won't get altered too much 'cause of money concerns.

Not that I care about what people think about it, but I do agree that it contains some amount of stupid. Stuff like cannibal island in N?2, or the marriage in N?3.
Orlando Bloom doesn't piss me off either. He does put some effort into his acting too, as evident in several scenes. He's certainly not the most talented guy ever, far from it, but he ain't as bad as advertised.

Main appeal in the series has always been Barbossa/Geoffrey Rush for me.


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## Linkofone (Sep 21, 2013)

I personally thought the series wasn't too bad ... but personal opinions and all that ..


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## Tranquil Fury (Sep 21, 2013)

> Main appeal in the series has always been Barbossa/Geoffrey Rush for me



Going to agree with this, he's my fav character in the franchise too.


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## Hellblazer (Sep 23, 2013)

Damn it,i was really looking forward to the movie....


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## MartialHorror (Sep 23, 2013)

Even though I didn't like "Pirates 4", I dont mind that they continue the franchise. I've always felt it had more potential now that the franchise would focus exclusively on Jack Sparrow. Just dont fuck up like 4 did and we should be happy.


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## Shiba D. Inu (Sep 27, 2013)

give me more Jack & Barbossa


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## Tom Servo (Sep 28, 2013)

I liked 2 and 3, 4th one was ok.


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## -Dargor- (Sep 30, 2013)

Gilgamesh said:


> Why do people dislike the movies apart from the first one?



Because they like pretending they're these uber movie critics that have better taste than 90% of the planet, its what the cool kids do on NF. 

Meanwhile the rest of the world loves these movies and couldn't care less.


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## teddy (Sep 30, 2013)

As long as it turns out to be a decent source of fun...


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## Linkofone (Sep 30, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> Even though I didn't like "Pirates 4", I dont mind that they continue the franchise. I've always felt it had more potential now that the franchise would focus exclusively on Jack Sparrow. Just dont fuck up like 4 did and we should be happy.



Was 4 that bad?


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## Nuuskis (Oct 1, 2013)

Linkofone said:


> Was 4 that bad?



Yes it was.


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## Stunna (Oct 7, 2013)




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## Thdyingbreed (Oct 7, 2013)

It's 2016 now....just fucking great.


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## James Bond (Oct 7, 2013)

Pretty much each POTC except World's End (well sort of, he was mulling over it in both DMC and WE) has been about Jack trying to become immortal... so yeah Golden Apple could be a potential plot device. I imagine the big bad pirate will be Long John Silver or something.


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## Linkofone (Oct 7, 2013)

What about Vikings?


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## Velocity (Oct 9, 2013)

Gilgamesh said:


> Why do people dislike the movies apart from the first one?



The first one is practically universally loved for obvious reasons. I wasn't that big of a fan of Dead Man's Chest because the whole film kinda dragged on until the very end. At World's End was awesome, though. I loved Beckett in it, Jack was hilarious as always and the finale was jaw dropping.

I actually quite like the fourth one, too. Blackbeard was a great bad guy and, while the priest and the mermaid were clearly disposable plot, the inclusion of the Spanish and Angelica and Barbossa getting Blackbeard's ship has me hopeful that this trilogy will be as large in scale as the first.

I just think they should stop after the sixth film. Two trilogies with Jack Sparrow are enough and Depp is already 50.


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## Nuuskis (Oct 9, 2013)

I think 1st one was good, 2nd okay but as Velocity mentioned it dragged on until the last Kraken attack. And while I can enjoy the 3rd one I think it had some silly stuff like that voodoo woman turning into a giant and into thousands of crabs. 
And that continues with the latest film with Black Beard's ship breathing fire and the ropes being alive.
So I think my biggest problem with this filmseries is how they went little overboard with some fantasy stuff. I did like Kraken and Davy Jones but only because Kraken is based on real life mythology and Davy Jones was the captain of Flying Dutchman which is also based on real life mythology.(and because he was played by Bill Nighy)

But I liked the newest one least because of lack of sea battles! And in my opinion a pirate movie should always have a sea battle, especially this kind of romanticized pirate movie. And I didn't care for that sub-plot with the priest and mermaid since I couldn't care less about those two. Somehow I think they forced that lame love story in there because previous films had love story aswell.

So overall:
1 - Good
2 - Ok
3 - Enjoyable
4 - Bad


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## Stunna (Oct 9, 2013)

The first was the only good one, but the series as a whole is a guilty pleasure.


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## Justice (Oct 10, 2013)

Franchise should've ended after the third.


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## Stunna (Dec 16, 2014)

*Orlando Bloom returning? Soft reboot?*



> ?I?m not entirely sure that [I'll be back] just yet, but there are talks,? he said. ?Basically they want to reboot the whole franchise, I think, and do something with me and the relationship with my son."
> 
> ?I?m of course Davey [sic] Jones now, so I?m down the bottom of the ocean. It might be kind of fun to do something where I?m rumbling round the bottom of the ocean, because I won?t look anything like me. [Gestures to face] Get all gnarly.?


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## Bluebeard (Dec 16, 2014)

Dear god, this bullshit is actually coming out?


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## Karasu (Dec 16, 2014)

I'll pass.


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## RAGING BONER (Dec 16, 2014)

these movies are more forgettable than the average summer fare...

I don't even recall what the plots were.


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## Stunna (Dec 16, 2014)

I do!


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## Rukia (Dec 16, 2014)

If we do get another one, I blame Europe.  America rejected the adventure with Penelope Cruz.  It didn't do well here.


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## Uncle Acid (Dec 17, 2014)

I really like these series and I'm up for more for sure. The series have gotten worse with each film, but I still enjoyed On Stranger Tides. Lighthearted, silly adventure films right up my alley. And pirates are awesome.

Not happy that Joachim R?nning and Espen Sandberg are directing, though. Bandidas was ?bershit, Max Manus was shit and Kon-Tiki was shit. Wouldn't be one bit surprised if they turned the next PotC-film intoshit either, these two overrated fucks.


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## Tranquil Fury (Dec 17, 2014)

Oh lord no especially if the one about Bloom and his son ends up the final plot. Atleast with Jack and Barbosa I could consider this a guilty pleasure. Just make it Jack and Barbosa together on screen a lot if they must continue this abomination of a franchise.


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## FireEel (Dec 17, 2014)

Barbossa already has a peg leg. I want to see him gain an eyepatch and a hook hand as well.

And eventually become the final villain of the series.


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## Aeternus (Dec 17, 2014)

So in 2016, huh? Tbh, I liked the fourth one. It was better than 2 and 3 imo.


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## Stunna (Feb 17, 2015)

production has begun in Australia


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## Bart (Feb 18, 2015)

The directors seem well established; as with the screenwriter 

Confidence established ~

Quite intriguing that I created the first _On Stranger Tides_ thread on here :WOW


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## Sennin of Hardwork (Apr 24, 2015)




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## 7777777 (Apr 25, 2015)

So old


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## Huey Freeman (Apr 25, 2015)

Oh yeah this is still a thing


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## Federer (Apr 27, 2015)

What happened to Bloom and Depp? 

I remember those days when people got excited when they heard one of their names. They badly need this movie to be good. 

Loved the first one, the rest sucked donkey balls.


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## Uncle Acid (Apr 27, 2015)

People got excited when they heard Bloom's name? What? Never experienced this.


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## Federer (Apr 27, 2015)

You are not a girl, are you?


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## Amol (Jun 9, 2015)

Color me surprised at such a hatred towards series .
I never knew people hated this series with such passion .
Well I liked the series . All of them. Some more than others but didn't hate any. Hate is very strong word after all .
Jack Sparrow is probably my most favorite movie character of all time.


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## the_notorious_Z.É. (Jun 9, 2015)

People always like to hate what is popular.


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## Stunna (Jun 9, 2015)

maybe people hate them because most of them are bad

like, literally all of them sans the first one

and I love the first three...but c'mon, now.


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## Atlas (Jun 9, 2015)

They might be bad, but I always found them to be enjoyable.


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## Stunna (Jun 9, 2015)

yeah, the first one is a personal favorite of mine, but let's not act like these Pirates movies are top-tier quality


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## Stunna (Aug 15, 2015)

Orlando Bloom's William Turner is returning


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## Rukia (Aug 15, 2015)

I like Keira Knightley more than Bloom in these movies.  I'm definitely not excited.


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## Aeternus (Aug 16, 2015)

No Cruz though. I liked her chemistry with Depp. They make a nice couple.


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## "Shion" (Oct 3, 2016)

Could be a fun ride back into the universe of Sparrow.


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## Bender (Oct 3, 2016)

Eh I suppose I could get back into Potc again.


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## Stunna (Oct 3, 2016)

The movies have only gotten worse, but the series is a guilty pleasure. I'm definitely seeing this.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Atlas (Oct 3, 2016)

Stunna said:


> The movies have only gotten worse, but the series is a guilty pleasure. I'm definitely seeing this.



All that needs to be said, tbh.

Reactions: Winner 1


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## BlazingInferno (Oct 4, 2016)

At first I thought that was the dude from the last movie who wanted to give his D to that mermaid and vanished without a trace with her in the end. But it's apparently Will's boy all grown up.


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## Zeta42 (Oct 5, 2016)

Those bad guys look spooky as shit. I'm sold.


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## Black Mirror (Oct 5, 2016)

tbh, Javier Bardem is probably the only good reason to watch this.


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## Yahiko (Oct 6, 2016)

Dream said:


> Another one?
> 
> They should just put the franchise to rest.





Gilgamesh said:


> Why do people dislike the movies apart from the first one?





-Dargor- said:


> Because they like pretending they're these uber movie critics that have better taste than 90% of the planet, its what the cool kids do on NF.
> 
> Meanwhile the rest of the world loves these movies and couldn't care less.



This is true with a lot of franchisees.
People hate this,people hate transformers,fast and furious,mission impossible etc.
Yet they still keep making movies and they never fail to make a lot of money in the market regardless of whether the movie pleases the audience or not.

Reactions: Winner 1


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## BlazingInferno (Feb 5, 2017)

Hey Will, you got some barnacles on your face.


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## Rukia (Feb 5, 2017)

Why are the fucking undead involved in every movie?


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## Rukia (Feb 5, 2017)

The music is totally inappropriate too.


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## White Wolf (Feb 5, 2017)

I thought the trailer was decent enough. I'll watch the movie and enjoy it, whether it's good or bad  in the grand scheme of things.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Nekochako (Feb 6, 2017)

This franchise has been hit and miss but this one might be good. Looking forward to it and hopefully it won't be a snooze like the fourth was.


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## Yahiko (Feb 6, 2017)

Stunna said:


> The movies have only gotten worse, but the series is a guilty pleasure. I'm definitely seeing this.



Lol lbh here the only reason people watch these movies is because of johnny depp. Take him out of the franchise and no one would spend there money on this. Hes the only famous superstar of the movie. Nobody cares about keira or bloom.


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## Atlas (Feb 6, 2017)

Geoffrey Rush is great.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Homer the God Killer (Feb 7, 2017)

Rukia said:


> The music is totally inappropriate too.


Listen carefully to the lyrics.


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## Rukia (Feb 7, 2017)

It was chosen because of the lyrics.  I recognized that right way.  The sound is more important than the lyrics; and the sound is all wrong!


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## White Wolf (Feb 7, 2017)

Yeah the song is a bit weird,  reminds me of the song they used for Assassin's Creed in some ways at first listen (could be imagining it anyways).    Too country sounding in my opinion for the whole theme of things and not much of a mood setter. 

Guess it doesn't really matter since it's unlikely to be in the movie much if any at all.


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## dr_shadow (Feb 7, 2017)

It's so random that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) is, with a budget of $378 million, the most expensive movie ever made.

You'd have expected the record to be held by some groundbreaking visual effects spectacle like Star Wars or the Lord of the Rings, but nope -Pirates takes it regardless of inflation adjustment or not.

Probably due to waste, mostly.


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## Canute87 (Feb 7, 2017)

Brook said:


> This franchise has been hit and miss but this one might be good. Looking forward to it and hopefully it won't be a snooze like the fourth was.



Wasn't jolly enough on your sailorboat?


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## Nekochako (Feb 7, 2017)

Have not watched it since it first came out in i believe 2012 but i remember it being boring as hell. I'm planning to rewatch the Caribbean movies soon so maybe then i change my mind.


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## ~Gesy~ (Feb 7, 2017)

Music made the trailer for me


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## Huey Freeman (Feb 8, 2017)

Kira Knightly in this?


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## Catalyst75 (Feb 10, 2017)

Huey Freeman said:


> Kira Knightly in this?



She has the kid to look after.  Since Turner is still on his tour of duty on the Flying Dutchman, this is within the ten year period before he returns to her side.


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## Stunna (Feb 11, 2017)

Catalyst75 said:


> Since Turner is still on his tour of duty on the Flying Dutchman, this is within the ten year period before he returns to her side.


That can't be the case. We see Will return from his Dutchman tour for good at the end of _At World's End_, and his son is only 10 years old.


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## BlazingInferno (Mar 2, 2017)

"The final adventure begins", is this going to be another two movie storyline like with Davy Jones?


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## Shiba D. Inu (Mar 2, 2017)

well at least theres sea battles


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## Rukia (Mar 2, 2017)

Kaya From Maze Runner might get me to check out this movie.


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## Pocalypse (Mar 3, 2017)

POTC is one series I can't let go no matter how much the story may be shit or not up to scratch. 

It's one big guilty pleasure of mine

Reactions: Agree 2


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## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2017)

I do think it's funny that they're finally promoting Johnny Depp in the movie. For awhile, it seemed like the marketing campaign was trying to distract us from his involvement.


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## Sennin of Hardwork (Apr 23, 2017)

I'm curious to see this because of Javier Bardem's Salazar character, I find him interesting.


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## Haruka Katana (May 24, 2017)

Well I watched this...  Wanna put my review bout it but it seems like most haven't watch it yet....  

Ima put it anyway 

*Spoiler*: _spoilers be warned_ 





The comedy was fucking on point. I kept laughing from the beginning to the end. Jack Sparrow is still amazing 

There is a HUGE amount of adult humor(dirty jokes) in this you could wonder how it can even be PG13, still can't get over


*Spoiler*: __ 



horology 




The plot was... iffy. There are random shit here and there that serves no purpose, it even felt rushed.


*Spoiler*: _even MAJOR spoilers, cons_ 





The random shit is stuff like having a witch appear but she just kabooshed later into the story. Or having random characters appear, they apparently know who jack is and are having a wedding ceremony because?? 

Idk if its the theatre or what but it was extremely dark at the last quarter of the movie I can hardly tell whats going on.

They shoehorned the whole father daughter thing with Barbossa and Carina. It was so sudden I don't even think it's necessary. Then they for whatever reason kills off Barbossa, the "sad scene" felt so force I am just sad they had to put such a corny scene, there are barely any moments between them. They shouldn't have done this, it kills the movie imho  >_>

I am also unsure if Barbossa going down on the villain is necessary. it felt like a pointless sacrifice.

No flying dutchman vs Silent Mary WTF 
I thought I can see that kind of stuff since Orlando Bloom is in it. But no, he just appear in the front and then the back. That disappointed me tbh, they had that opportunity with Will but nope. Will barely had lines in this.

Will and Elizabeth's relationship turned bad? Idk. I just know things aren't as happy as it seems.

The stinger at the end implies a sequel.

Yeah yeah I know we all didn't come here to watch for the plot but still, I had to say it 





Comedy 10/10
Plot 3/10

Overall 6/10, I'd love to watch it a second time just for the humor and Jack Sparrow  A guilty pleasure as they said indeed.

I'd say this is better than the 4th movie at least.


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## Huey Freeman (May 24, 2017)

Haruka Katana said:


> Well I watched this...  Wanna put my review bout it but it seems like most haven't watch it yet....
> 
> Ima put it anyway
> 
> ...


I'm guessing but Did 


*Spoiler*: __ 



did the guy become a ghost because of Davy Jones' neglect of his purpose?


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## Haruka Katana (May 24, 2017)

Huey Freeman said:


> I'm guessing but Did
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...



*Spoiler*: __ 



Nope, he has nothing to do with Davy Jones


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## sworder (May 27, 2017)

best movie since the first one purely from an entertainment standpoint imo

Salazar is probably the coolest villain so far


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## DemonDragonJ (May 27, 2017)

I saw this film, tonight, and I suppose that it is equal to the second and fourth films, not as drawn-out or convoluted as the third, but nowhere near the excellence of the first; too much of it felt like repeats of the rpevious films, but it was entertaining, nevertheless.

How many times must the studio have plots where Jack's crew are dissatisfied with him as a captain? That idea has been sued too often for my liking. The witch to whom Barbossa spoke appeared in only two very brief scenes, so I felt that she was rather unnecessary to the plot, and the twist of Carina being Barbossa's daughter definitely was random and contrived, since I feel that it did not contribute much to the story and none of the previous four films mentioned Barbossa having any children. Barbossa is one of my favorite characters in this franchise, so I was sad to see him die, but I feel that his death did not have nearly sufficient emotional impact as would be expected for one of the few characters who has been in every film, thus far.

Captain Salazar felt too much like a repeat of Davy Jones from the second and third films, with some elements of Lord Beckett, and does anyone here find it difficult to believe that every villain in each film has crossed paths with Jack in the past? At least Jack's backstory was informative, if severely belated; I wonder what happened to his first chip, the _Wicked Wench?_ Was it sunk, at some point, leading to him obtaining the _Black Pearl?_

When the third film premiered, I thought that I read somewhere that Will and Elizabeth's son was named William Turner III, but either I am not remembering correctly or the story writers changed his name.

It was nice to see Murtogg and Mullroy, again, after their absence from the previous film, but where were Pintel and Ragetti? Did something happen to them? Were their actors unable to reprise their roles?

The cameo appearance by Paul McCartney was awesome; when he first appeared, I thought that he was familiar, but I could not recognize him, and the, during the credits, I saw his name and realized that that was why I found him to be familiar. First Keith Richards, and now Paul McCartney; Jack certainly has some famous relatives.

Some of the action scenes, most notably when Jack was trapped in the guillotine while it was spinning, were ridiculous, but the humor was excellent, especially with the horology joke and Henry saying "I saw her ankles." I do hope that, it another film is made, Carina returns, because I feel that she was an interesting character and could be very well-developed and likeable with further screentime and development. Did anyone feel that the wedding scene was very ridiculous, unnecessary, and uncomfortable? I feel that it was.

The post-credits scene implied that Davy Jones may be returning, but he is supposed to be dead, so how is that possible? Even if he has returned to life, he should be a normal human, free from an eternity of servitude on the _Flying Dutchman_ due to the power of Poseidon's trident, so the writers will need to explain how he is still a sea monster.

Does anyone here remember that the post-credits scene of the fourth film featured Blackbeard's daughter finding the voodoo doll of Jack? I was hoping that that plot point would be featured in this movie, but it seems that the writers have forgotten about it.

Overall, this film was enjoyable to see once, but I shall not likely see it again, simply because the franchise seems to be losing its creativity and appeal, as do far too many film franchises that continue for too long.


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## MartialHorror (May 28, 2017)

Posted from the 'Rate' Thread.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales- C-

I liked it better than "On Stranger Tides", as this film is colorful and bombastic, something that I demand from all pirate movies, but didn't get with "On Stranger Tides". I'm probably going to be the only one who doesn't complain about how absurd some of the spectacle is here, such as the cold opener surrounding the heist of a safe. Is it ridiculous? Absolutely, but the film is obviously taking the "Fate of the Furious" route in regards to realism, so if that's what it wants to do, I won't judge it. But there's also a weightlessness to the special effects, like when Sparrow and Salazar are fighting near the end. At least with the safe scene, it appears a lot of practical effects were used, but Sparrow hopping from one ship to another looked very CGI. A lot of the stunts and effects just weren't very convincing and I've never had this problem with any of the "Pirates" flicks before. The CGI and action choreography were usually fine, but at no point were they particularly impressive- other than making Johnny Depp look so young in flashbacks. I'm in the minority of people who actually liked "Dead Man's Chest" and "At World's End" because not only did they had incredible effects, the director knew how to make them stand out. When the Kraken seemingly sucks a ship into the ocean or two ships battle in the midst of a maelstrom, they might not make a lot of sense, but at least these visuals are impressive and memorable. "Dead Men Tell No Tales" looks a lot nicer than "On Stranger Tides" did, but I don't think I'll remember any of its set pieces- good or bad.
From a story perspective, "Dead Men Tell No Tales" is almost entirely comprised of past ideas. Once again, Jack is hunted by an undead foe from his past. Once again, he befriends a young, spirited couple who even resemble their original equivalents. Once again, a character idolizes their lost Father, who turns out to have been a pirate and their arc concludes with them embracing their pirate heritage. Once again, the heroes are doggedly pursued by a snobby Englishman who is designed to be the hate-sink villain (in contrast to the cooler, more threatening main antagonist). Once again, Jack loses the pearl and is betrayed by his crew. Once again, Barbossa's motivations are ambiguous, even though we know whose side he will eventually be on. Frustratingly, I was sure the Flying Dutchman would resurface in the finale and take on the Silent Mary, which would've been the films' only unique idea...if it had happened. I would love to see two cursed ships fighting and it would've actually made sense, but apparently the filmmakers disagreed with me...l. Salazar is supposed to be a complex villain, as he does have a somewhat tragic back-story, but he's also killing people who aren't pirates...in fact, his introduction has him killing navymen who were pursuing pirates, which contradicts all of his talk of only hunting pirates...The end result is I couldn't either sympathize with him, pity him or hate him. I understood the type of people Barbossa, Davy Jones, Beckett and even f@cking Blackbeard were, but I couldn't figure this character out. Javier Bardem seems to be having fun, but he's fighting the CGI makeup. I found all that crap on his face to be distracting and the voice filter they gave him only emphasized his accent, making it difficult to tell what he was saying. Johnny Depp is sleepwalking through his role and when he's doing something physical, like performing in an action scene, he looked confused as to what he was supposed to be doing, as if the director was being vague about what was happening on the green screen. The rest of the cast do fine, but their characters are paper thin and their arcs are minimal. The main actress doesn't even get an arc until the very end (a shitty version of Will's from the original) and the film confuses 'strong, independent woman' with 'snarky, unpleasant, contrarian'. The main guy only made me think to myself: "Wow, Orlando Bloom has a lot more charisma than this guy" and that is a sentence that should never have to exist. To be fair to the actor, Bloom had an actual character at his disposal. This guy's character is even more thinly written than the Bloom-expy from "On Stranger Tides".
I guess the film is shorter than the original trilogy, which is nice, but I also felt like it should've been longer in some ways. When the finale arrives, it's so sudden that it took me awhile to realize that this was the climax, which is underwhelming. The entire narrative feels rushed and I think a large part of the problem is that the films screentime is mostly dedicated to Jack Sparrow, but Sparrow feels like he's just along for the ride. The bland Orlando Bloom-expy has all of the emotional stakes, but he's so bland that we don't care. Sparrow is just...there to be there? I think they were trying to recreate the formula from the first film, but in that, Jack was still an active player in the story and he had his own motivations. Here, we never really see Jack plotting, planning or even being pro-active. He's just here to be comical and be the focal point of the action scenes. Is he funny? Sometimes. There were a few laughs to be had, but the jokes miss just as much as they land, if not moreso. "Dead Men Tell No Tales" isn't bad as much as it's just safe and mediocre, only worth watching if you're still a fan of the franchise. But I think it has run out of steam at this point and the post-credits scene only reminds us that they're out of ideas. How many times can you recycle the same movie before it just starts getting boring? For me, "On Stranger Tides" showed the fatigue, but this was outright phoned in.
4/10


*Spoiler*: __ 



Davy Jones is back...even though he died...and all of the curses are supposed to be lifted.


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## Zef (May 28, 2017)

DemonDragonJ said:


> the _Wicked Wench?_ Was it sunk, at some point, leading to him obtaining the _Black Pearl?_


The Wicked Wench is the Black Pearl.

Beckett gave it to Jack, and then Jack renamed it. At least that was the story before this film, not sure if they retconned it as I haven't seen the film.


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## MartialHorror (May 28, 2017)

As far as I noticed, they didn't, but they did retcon a few things.

Didn't that Tia Dhama or whatever her name is from Pirates 2-3 give Jack the Compass? In "Pirates 5", somebody else gives it to him in a flashback.


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## Rukia (May 28, 2017)

Big box office.  Foreign audiences continue to keep this franchise afloat.


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## MartialHorror (May 28, 2017)

Ugh, how did Salazar get zombie sharks? Were they just swimming around and got killed in the explosion? Or does Salazar have the power to curse them?


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## Nekochako (May 28, 2017)

Saw this a couple of days ago. Was not perfect but it was very enjoyable and a lot better then how i remember the third and fourth movie.


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## Zef (May 28, 2017)

MartialHorror said:


> As far as I noticed, they didn't, but they did retcon a few things.
> 
> Didn't that Tia Dhama or whatever her name is from Pirates 2-3 give Jack the Compass? *In "Pirates 5", somebody else gives it to him in a flashback.*


Really? I guess they're hoping people forget what happened in the second film over a decade ago.


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## DemonDragonJ (May 28, 2017)

Zef said:


> Really? I guess they're hoping people forget what happened in the second film over a decade ago.



Has it really been that long since the first three films were made? I feel old, now.


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## Shiba D. Inu (May 29, 2017)

you are old DDJ


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## Catalyst75 (May 29, 2017)

MartialHorror said:


> As far as I noticed, they didn't, but they did retcon a few things.
> 
> Didn't that Tia Dhama or whatever her name is from Pirates 2-3 give Jack the Compass? In "Pirates 5", somebody else gives it to him in a flashback.



I looked it up on the Wiki.  It says that the one who gave Jack the compass was his Captain at the time.

According to the comic _Jack Sparrow: City of Gold,_ another pirate named Laura Smith had the compass, and it ended up in Tia Dalma's hands at some point later one.

So the timeline can be framed like this: Jack Sparrow gets the compass from Tia Dalma for his Captain, and then the Captain passes it on to Jack when he is mortally wounded.


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## ~VK~ (May 29, 2017)

yo this was straight up garbage. depp was doing some next level phoning it in. i feel bad for having wasted 13 bucks. this series has always been a guilty pleasure but this was just sad.


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## Tom Servo (Jun 1, 2017)

So is this the actual final pirates movie like all the promos are saying?


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## Soranushi (Jun 1, 2017)

_^Not just yet. The after credits scene suggests they want to do another movie and the promo's actually said this the "beginning" of the final adventure._

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Sennin of Hardwork (Jun 1, 2017)

Saw it this past Monday and it was pretty fun. 

Liked the twist with Barbossa. And the crew and Jack were as always funny.


*Spoiler*: __ 



Also liked how it was an island that reflected the sky's stars. 

Again, liked the reveal that Carina was Barbossa's daughter, even if it very short lived, damn.

Pretty sure it was 10 years ago when Will became the captain of the Flying Dutchman and now 10 years exactly after he was released thanks to Poseidon's Trident.

But Davy Jones appears to be back.


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## Huey Freeman (Jun 12, 2017)

Zef said:


> The Wicked Wench is the Black Pearl.
> 
> Beckett gave it to Jack, and then Jack renamed it. At least that was the story before this film, not sure if they retconned it as I haven't seen the film.


What happen is the Wench was sunk and Jack made a deal with davey jones to raise it up and because it came back all black it's called the black pearl

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Huey Freeman (Jun 12, 2017)

@Zef  forgot to add it was The guy from the East Indian trading company that sunk it, I believe in a deleted scene Jack was suppose to ship 100 slaves for him but instead Jack freed them. This is why Jack soul was worth 100 souls to davey jones

Reactions: Informative 1


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## Banhammer (Jun 26, 2017)

Johnny Depp phoned the whole thing in, and the writing was just so bad it had me rolling my eyes too hard to even enjoy the waste of life that are those special effects

Current lead on the race for worst movie of the year


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## dr_shadow (Jun 23, 2022)

Five years after release I finally got around to seeing this.

I think there is (or should be) a writer rule of thumb that you should stick to only one "magical" element in your story, or it gets too overwhelming and unbelievable for the audience.

In the first movie the only supernatural aspect is the undead Black Pearl crew. All the other technology, social organization, and physics are (meant to be) the same as in the real-life 18th century. A non-cursed ship is not able to do anything that a real-life ship can't.

But in the sequels you have not only technology that didn't exist, like the Jones' spinning triple cannons and Blackbeard's flamethrowers, or institutions that didn't exist, like the "Pirate King",  but also cartoon physics where especially Jack is now an indestructible rubber doll who fights people atop rolling water-wheels and swings between the masts of two ships spiralling in a vortex. We can call this this phenomenon "making it _Faster and More Furious_" with each new installment.

Since in this one they get to an island that's supposed to look like the night sky, I suppose my theorem holds true that "any franchise that runs for sufficiently many installments will, regardless of original genre and setting, eventually come to involve space travel and/or aliens."


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## dr_shadow (Jul 6, 2022)

wibisana said:


> This is the 4th movie thread



No it isn't. "Stranger Tides" was the 4th one.

You may be confused because "Dead Men Tell No Tales" was released as "Salazar's Revenge" in many non-US territories, but they're the same movie.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## wibisana (Jul 6, 2022)

dr_shadow said:


> No it isn't. "Stranger Tides" was the 4th one.
> 
> You may be confused because "Dead Men Tell No Tales" was released as "Salazar's Revenge" in many non-US territories, but they're the same movie.


I see lol.


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