# Machete - The Movie (Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal.. 2010)



## Donkey Show (Aug 5, 2009)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8cCzltPD6Y[/YOUTUBE]

*If you hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't you!*​
Based on the awesome faux trailer found before the movie Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez is finally bringing this bad boy to the big screen!

The casting has just been announced as well...

Hmm"]http://bleachasylum.com/showpost.php?p=1557212&postcount=125



> Danny Trejo is returning as the title character and *Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey* play supporting roles.





Look for it in 2010.


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## Chee (Aug 5, 2009)

...Lindsay Lohan? Ew.


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## RAGING BONER (Aug 5, 2009)

Machete...i was wondering when they were gonna make the most awesome action movie in the universe


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## Tex (Aug 5, 2009)




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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Aug 6, 2009)

I could rewatch Desperado over and over again just for Trejo stabbing mofos.


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 6, 2009)

When I saw this faux trailer I was thinking "this would be a badass movie".

Guess I was right.


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## Bear Walken (Aug 6, 2009)

> Danny Trejo is returning as the title character and Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey play supporting roles.



That's some cast. It goes from great to "what the hell ?"


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## Comic Book Guy (Aug 6, 2009)

I thought this was something similar to Hatchet.

Then I remember what Machete was.


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## Para (Aug 6, 2009)

YES!



CrazyMoronX said:


> When I saw this faux trailer I was thinking "this would be a badass movie".
> 
> Guess I was right.


Same here man. This is going to be awesome.


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 6, 2009)

So I was watching the trailer posted here at work.

You know there are naked ladies in it, right? I could've been fired!


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## Slacker (Aug 6, 2009)

Looks fucking amazing.


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## C_Akutabi (Aug 6, 2009)

De Niro and Seagal in the same movie? I gotta see this.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2009)

Wow, Seagal in a big movie again?


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## RAGING BONER (Aug 6, 2009)

regardless of how this movie turns out...i want one of those miniguns on my motorcycle


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## T4R0K (Aug 9, 2009)

What an awesome coincidence ! My buddy bought Planet Terror Saturday, and we decided to watch it, and I saw this fake trailer and nearly made in my pants !

And now you're all saying it's gonna be real ? 

Gracias, Santa Madre de Dios !


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## Hyouma (Aug 18, 2009)

Ah good to see this is still being made! And wow at the cast?! 

I saw the trailer a gazillion times already


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## Grape (Aug 18, 2009)

bad fucking ass.


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## Nakor (Aug 24, 2009)

I love the cast. I'm excited to see Seagal in a big movie again.


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## Koi (Aug 24, 2009)

I'm trying to figure out how they came up with that cast.


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## Corran (Aug 24, 2009)

Miniguns on motorbikes?


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## Thomaatj (Aug 24, 2009)

Awesome. Oo


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## αshɘs (Aug 24, 2009)

Whoa awesome! Trejo massacring mofos and Segal is back,but lol Lohan.


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## Tex (Aug 24, 2009)

I once met Danny Trejo...


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## T4R0K (Aug 24, 2009)

Tex said:


> I once met Danny Trejo...



Woah, respect dude !


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## ez (Jul 24, 2010)

*Machete*

NIGHT



> MACHETE is an expansion of a fake trailer Rodriguez directed for the  2007 film GRINDHOUSE and centers around the character of Machete Cortez.  After being betrayed by the organization who hired him, Machete  launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.
> 
> Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis.
> With  Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, Don  Johnson, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, and  Cheryl Chin
> ...



Thoughts?


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## Pipe (Jul 24, 2010)

Danny Trejo vs Steven Seagal will be fun to watch


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## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2010)

I have a feeling it will suck because Rodriguez isn't the director and I dont trust movies that whore the directors names even though they are only producers. Rodriguez doesnt trust himself anymore, and I dont really trust him now either.

But who knows.....I'll see it.


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## ez (Jul 24, 2010)

imo it can't be worse than its source material. i'm approaching this film with the thought in mind that it's just going to be mindless fun. as pipe said, seagal vs trejo should be awesome.


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## Man in Black (Jul 24, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> I have a feeling it will suck because Rodriguez isn't the director and I dont trust movies that whore the directors names even though they are only producers. Rodriguez doesnt trust himself anymore, and I dont really trust him now either.
> 
> But who knows.....I'll see it.


What the hell are you talking about?


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## Ennoea (Jul 24, 2010)

I wish I was still young and enjoyed mindless action movies but I just can't anymore, and this one looks ridiculous.

Will just wait for the DVD.


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## Man in Black (Jul 24, 2010)

OP, you should've used the Cinco De Mayo trailer: 

much better


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## ez (Jul 24, 2010)

^Focuses way too much on content.


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## Brian (Jul 24, 2010)

This is gonna be one of the funniest movies of this year, can't wait to watch this.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2010)

Man in Black said:


> What the hell are you talking about?



Eh, do I need to explain this again?

Notice that when directors start making movies that underperform, critically or commercially, their directing output becomes less and less and their producing output becomes more and more. 

When they produce these movies, their names are whored so much that many people think they are the directors. The directors usually are no-name puppet directors.

It's a ploy so that if the movie is a hit, they get the praise. If its a flop, the real director is blamed. 

Some examples,

The Wachowski's: After those disappointing Matrix sequels, they produce "V For Vendetta", a movie that many think they directed. It's a hit(more criticially than financially), and they direct again(Speed Racer). It flops and they produce "Ninja Assassin"(which was panned and underperformed), but no one seems to blame them for "Ninja Assassin". 

M. Night: Your'e favorite director seems to have jumped on this bandwagon with "Devil", which has the worst promotion for a director/producer ever: "From the mind of M. Nigh Shyalaman". Not sure how much that will draw people any more, but many will think he's the director.

Spielberg: He does this a lot but in his defense, he's past his prime and I actually admire the fact he gets work for more directors. Sometimes he flat out hijacks the production(Poltergeist), other times he gets other established directors so the ploy isnt needed(Example, JJ Abrams is advertised on "Super 8" just as much as Spielberg).

Michael Bay: Just watch every horror remake he's involved in. Do they ever mention the director? Do they ever not mention Michael Bay? 

Now Robert Rodriguez is doing it. "Grindhouse" flopped and that kids movie(Shorts) only made a profit because it cost so little. Now he's producing movies like "Predators" and "Machete", which whore his name(it should be noted that he's listed as co-director on Machete, but I think he only directed the scene that are reused from the Machete trailer).


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## Magnum Miracles (Jul 24, 2010)

Wow. Looks like we have two movies paying homage to the classic action movies. The Expendables and Machete.


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## Man in Black (Jul 24, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Eh, do I need to explain this again?
> 
> Notice that when directors start making movies that underperform, critically or commercially, their directing output becomes less and less and their producing output becomes more and more.
> 
> ...


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## keiiya (Jul 25, 2010)

I will probably watch this for the lulz just because it has Danny Trejo in it, and I like him for some reason or other. Also, I think this is Lindsay Lohan first film in like four or five years, and she is playing a nun. A minor role I hope. Hmph!


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## Hyouma (Jul 25, 2010)

I'll be watching this one as soon as hits the theatre. I was a fan from second 1 when I saw the fake trailer in Grindhouse. It's going to be exactly what we can expect: mindless action.


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## Darth (Jul 25, 2010)

Honestly, it looks like a blatantly cliche' and predictable movie.

But I might watch it anyway.


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## Yakuza (Jul 25, 2010)

Pipe said:


> Danny Trejo vs Steven Seagal will be fun to watch


That is bound to suck ass. Steven Seagal _cannot_ act & it is hard to picture Tejo _not_ doing a supporting role.

Nevertheless, I will watch it.


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## Magnum Miracles (Jul 25, 2010)

It's surprising at how much people hate action movies but love Kill Bill Volume 1,even though it is mindless action and has cliched plot.


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## Rukia (Jul 25, 2010)

This looks really crappy.

If there is nudity or strong sexual content... I will probably watch it though.


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## Man in Black (Jul 25, 2010)

This movie is sure to be amazing.

Seems some people here don't get the idea of over the top gritty action films.


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## ez (Jul 25, 2010)

Rukia said:


> This looks really crappy.
> 
> If there is nudity or strong sexual content... I will probably watch it though.



Didn't you watch the preview? Machete uses someone's intestines as a makeshift rope of sorts, to propel from a building..


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## Magnum Miracles (Jul 25, 2010)

Man in Black said:


> This movie is sure to be amazing.
> 
> Seems some people here don't get the idea of over the top gritty action films.


Boobs+ badassness+gore +a motorcycle with a gatling gun+kickass action scenes= pure epicness. Definitely seeing it in theaters.


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 26, 2010)

I think this will be a terrible movie, but everyone will watch it.


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## Suigetsu (Sep 11, 2010)

*Machete*

​Based on the faux-preview shown inbetween ?Planet Terror? and ?Death Proof,? Robert Rodriguez?s ?Machete? does exactly what it aims to do. Danny Trejo plays Machete, an ex-Federales with a huge machete that kicks a whole lot of ass.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiBmwy6xLvM&feature=player_embedded[/YOUTUBE]


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## Delta Shell (Sep 11, 2010)

I can't believe this isn't out in England until the end of November


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## Yakushi Kabuto (Sep 11, 2010)

It is a brilliant idea to make a real movie around that fake preview. There's so much great about the trailer I don't even know where to start. That boarder crossed us line just about killed me. xD Nevermind Lindsay Lohan gun licking nun and Trejo playing the same scary guy! And it is no wonder he can play those roles considering his impressive past. When I first read his bio I thought I was reading a plot to some movie.


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## Superrazien (Sep 11, 2010)

The movie was awesome, just pure awesome.


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## Cash (Sep 12, 2010)

Steven Seagal is in it. 


/Thread


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## Mr Serenity (Sep 12, 2010)

Ganta said:


> Steven Seagal is in it.
> 
> 
> /Thread



Machete VS Steven Seagal with fucking blades. Whatever happens is win.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 12, 2010)

I thought it was overrated. Rodriguez stumbled both in the films political message and its ensemble cast, having too many characters who get too little to do.

It was a fun movie though.


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## RAGING BONER (Sep 12, 2010)

movie needed more Danny Trejo, less bullshit.


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## Rukia (Sep 12, 2010)

Political message?  I'm definitely glad I didn't go now.  I think it was sort of a failure at the Box Office.  It lost to The American last weekend, and I have to be honest... Machete definitely spent more money on advertising.

I also thought it was a bad sign when I heard that more than 60% of the viewers from the first weekend were latino.  Even Tyler Perry movies aren't that lopsided when it comes to race.  :rofl


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## Bleach (Sep 12, 2010)

Michelle Rodriguez?

Jessica Alba?

MUST WATCH!


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## Parallax (Sep 12, 2010)

It was a fun movie, too political but still a good watch.


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## Bender (Sep 12, 2010)

Jessica Alba's in it? 


That's all the encouragement I need to go see the movie. ^^

Also lol just because it has a political message some of you guys aren't going to go see it. That's kind of a pathetic reason ya know..


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## Parallax (Sep 12, 2010)

it's not the political issue that's the problem, it's the execution.  still it's a fine movie.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2010)

Bender said:


> Jessica Alba's in it?
> 
> 
> That's all the encouragement I need to go see the movie. ^^
> ...



Well, I did see it. But my issue isnt the message. It's how its force fed down the viewers throats.


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 13, 2010)

So I should wait for the DVD and then download the DVD?


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## Edward Newgate (Nov 4, 2010)

Just finished watching it.

Holy fuck, my head exploded from the sheer badassness. Couldn't stop laughing at the jumping cars


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## Suigetsu (Nov 4, 2010)

This movie is just full of badasness! The movie just arrived in mexico however I couldnt wait for it to arrive so I had to download it. There is already a dvd rip for some reason.


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## Huntress (Nov 4, 2010)

Delta Shell said:


> I can't believe this isn't out in England until the end of November



its definatly going to be shown here in the UK?
also what is this political message that people are bitching about?


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