# Writing Tips



## Kyon (May 4, 2007)

*Table of Contents*

I. Introduction
II. Grammar and Punctuation
III. Action
IV. Pacing
V. Show vs. Tell
VI. Angst
VII. Plot
VIII. Characterization
IX. Critique- Giving and Recieving
X. Dialogue
XI. Cliche
XII. Miscellaneous

*I. Introduction*

Welcome everyone, to the guide. I'll be your host, Kyon. If anything in this guide is wrong (or you disagree with) or if anything can be added, send me a PM and I'll be glad to add it in. And before you say it, the plural of noun is noun, apparently. Unless Microsoft Word was just being dumb.

Also, if you want to add or amend a section, just say so and PM or post it here.

*II. Grammar and Punctuation*

First and foremost, if you have bad grammar and/or punctuation, your story is going to be generally discarded into the pile of crap, no matter how good everything else may be. I won't get too detailed (we'll be here all day :S) so I'll cover the bare minimum.

Noun, Adjectives, Verbs, Adverbs

I know, you're wondering why I'm even bothering to point out something as rudimentary as this, but I feel this should be covered. Noun are people, places, things, or ideas. Adjectives describes the noun, and are words such as orange and fast. Verbs are action words, and say what is being done to the noun. Adverbs describe verbs, and most end in -ly. (I personally think adverbs are a horrible device, but I digress)

Sentence Structure

Sentences have two parts to them. Subject and predicate.

_John_ *ran quickly*.

Subject is italicized, predicate is in bold. See how the subject is a noun? It doesn't have to be a proper noun either, it can just be a pronoun (I, he, she, etc.) or even a regular old noun (The chair toppled over, the chair as the subject).

Also, see how the verb and adverb make up the predicate? That was a simple sentence, and now for something a little different.

_John_ *ran quickly*. _He_ *passed the finish line.*

Good for John. Anyway, both sentences are complete, and simple. But would you disagree if I wrote it like this?

_John_ *ran quickly and passed the finish line.*

The sentence length has changed, and now the two sentences together are one. 

Also, when describing multiple things in a sentence, you need commas. If I wrote the sentence like this:

John ran quickly, and passed the finish line.

It's wrong. You do not add a comma when you are combining two sentances with a compound verb. If there is not a new subject, you do not add a comma. That example should be, "John ran quickly and passed the finish line." However, it would require a comma if you wrote, "John ran quickly, and he passed the finish line." If the second part of the sentence after the conjunction cannot support itself on its own, it does not need a comma. "Subject verb conjunction verb." vs. "Subject verb, conjunction subject verb."

Vocabulary

He ran. She ran. They ran. I ran so far awayyy~

See the problem there? Ran is used exclusively, while other words are disregarded. Here's something better. (Though not all that great)

He sprinted. She dashed. They bolted. I ran so far awayyy~

By varying the words, sentences become more interesting. However, there is a point where it's just too much thesaurus-using (I don't use them personally) and then your writing just seems pretentious.

Quotation Marks and Paragraphs

"So I love him," she said with finality. "Ask him out," he pleaded, eager for her to get on with her life. He crossed over to her, and caressed her face, wiping away the endless tears she had cried. If he couldn't have her, Billy-Bob-Joe-Henry-Samson must. For his sake.

I don't care how great (or shitty) the writing is, that is all clumped together and crappy...well, crappier than it already was.

"So I love him," she said with finality.

"Ask him out," he pleaded, eager for her to get on with her life.

He crossed over to her, and caressed her face, wiping away the endless tears she had cried. If he couldn't have her, Billy-Bob-Joe-Henry-Samson must. For his sake.

Another issue people have is where to place the punctuation within a quotation mark.

"Yo." is acceptable. "Yo". is not.

Apostrophe Placing

Apostrophes are used
To form the possessive of nouns (i.e. show ownership).

If you have a singular noun, the apostrophe goes before the s:

Naruto's ramen.
Kakashi's sharingan.
Ino's flower shop.

If you have a plural noun, the apostrophe goes after the s:

The kage-bunshin Narutos' attacks were lamentable.
The Yamanakas' flower shop. 


Apostrophes are also used to show contractions.

I can't, instead of I cannot.
I don't, instead of I do not.
It's, instead of it is.

NOTE: Please, please, please take into account the difference between it's and its. It's is an abbreviated version of it is. There is a missing letter - hence the apostrophe. Its is a possessive pronoun - which doesn't need an apostrophe any more than the other possessive pronouns do (e.g. ours, yours, hers, his).

Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in it's mouth.
This sentence reads: "Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in it is mouth." It doesn't make sense. 

Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in its mouth.
Now, it makes a lot more sense.

Apostrophes are not used to donate plurals. Ever.

The following are wrong:
Ramen noodle's at this stall - (should read: "Ramen noodles at this stall.")
Sasuke has two working sharingan's - (should read: "Sasuke has two working sharingans).

*III. Action*

AKA so you want to write an action scene, huh?

I personally like writing action scenes, and they are really not so hard to do, once you have got the basics down. The important parts are suspense, and descriptions, while still not overdescribing every single movement.

As a demonstration, I am going to walk you through writing a short action scene. First, think out what you want to happen. Lets take: Naruto is jumping through the trees, when he is attacked by three ninja. Naruto escapes out of the forest. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was jumping along from tree to tree, when he heard a sound. He looked right saw a kunai flying towards him. He dodged it, and saw three black ninja jumpint towards him from the side. He realized they were going to attack him. He wondered why, but decided that he did not have time. He began going again. 

Naruto stopped on a branch, and without stopping, did a spin right around it, attached by chakra to the branch. He ran off in the other direction, avoiding a kunai that came flying his way. He came out of the forest. He had escaped. 




Now this in itself is ok, but it lacks hatred. There are no descriptions, and the action is bland. Now, let us insert some words from our action wordlist.


*Spoiler*: _Action wordlist_ 



Suddenly, glimpsed, veered, realized, whipped, quickly, frantically, narrowly, launching, rusteling, sped, escape. Using these simple words, and a few alternate descriptions, We can vastly improve this scene. 





*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was jumping quickly along from tree to tree, when he suddenly heard a rusteling sound. He quickly glanced right, and glimpsed a flash of silver metal; a kunai flying towards him. He jumped sideways, narrowly dodging it. He glanced behind him, and saw three black figures speeding towards him from the side. It was an attack, he realized. Why? How? He did not really have much time to think about that now. He sped off to the nearest tree, trying to escape the three figures.

Naruto suddenly came to a stop on a branch, and pushed chakra out of his feet, effectively gluing him to the branch. Without stopping, he whipped around the branch doing a full circle, launching himself into the air in the opposite direction. He narrowly dodged a kunai that came flying behind him.

At last, he  burst out of the forest, and into the open sunlight. He had escaped. 




Now that version had pretty much only descriptions added, and a few minor rewrites, and you see how much of a differance that made. Now, the next version is how I would write this scene. I fleshed out what's happening, and added a few small details, just to get the suspence, and feeling. See for yourself. 



*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was jumping along from tree to tree, when suddenly, he heard a whizzing noise, just to his right. He glanced to his right, and glimpsed a flash of metal in the sunlight. He veered off to the right, just avoinding the kunai that passed just where he would have been. He glanced around wildly, and saw three figures speeding towards him from his right. He was being attacked, he frantically realized. _But why?_ 

Naruto decided not to find out, and sped off in the other direction. He felt the adrenaline pounding through his system, and he sped up a little, looking off to the side. He had to shake them off somehow; they were closing in on him. Naruto suddenly stopped on a thin branch, and pushed a moderate amount of chakra out of his feet, gluing himself to the branch. Without even stopping, he whipped around the branch, and catapulted himself into the air in opposite direction, wind whipping through his hair. He smiled slightly to himself, and stopped biting his lip.


----------



## Kyon (May 4, 2007)

*Spoiler*: __ 



He head one of the ninja's shout something, and he heard a clunk of feet on cracking bark as they changed direction. From his side, he glimpsed another kunai flying towards him through the trees. Naruto was forced to do a strange sort of flip thing to avoid it, and almost crashed into a branch. The end of the forest was not far from here now; he could see the bright sunlight, and between the trees, he glimpsed hokage mountai, shining bright in the sunlight.

Finally, he burst out of the forest, and in to the open sunlight, which almost blinded him. He flew down towards the village as fast as he could, and only when he had reached the familiar buildings of Konoha, did he start to breathe noramally again. 




And that, to me, is an action sequence that I am happy with. See guys, it's not that hard.

So in summary: 

-Describe, but do not overdescribe movements and stuff. In a swordfight, use a mix of descriptions of individual blows, and generalizations like: They traded a flurry of rapid blows, each as fierce as the last. Use a little time to describe the fighting enviroment, so the fighters can exploit there enviroment (Ie throw rocks at each other, or the likes), and so the reader can better visualize the fight. 

-Make it exciting, and sudden. These things are moving fast, so add in things that makes it feel like split second reactions, and frantic movements.

-Try to not just have them stand there, dodging and casting Jutsu at each other. Make a plan of what you want to happen. Plan out your fight scene, for the moments that truely make you go "Omfg?!?!" since they make the best scenes.

Hope you guys liked this little guide. Feel free to Pm me for questions or suggestions.    

*IV. Pacing*

Pacing is easy to understand and somewhat difficult to master. You can't pace the story at light speed. An example would be 90% of NaruHina fics I've seen (yes, I'll pick on that fandom) where Naruto and Hinata show misgivings for about a chapter (if they're lucky) and all of a sudden they're fucking in the bathroom stall like a couple of nymphomaniacs.

Likewise, you can't pace it slooooow. The reader just gets bored then, and chances are you also have a pretentious writing style. All I can suggest is strike a balance.

*V. Show vs. Tell*

Jill sat at her desk, anxious for the test to begin. She had obsessive compulsive disorder.

That is an example of telling us. The author is lazy and just tells us all these things about her, but a more effective writing technique would be to show us these personality traits. Your readers are not stupid. They can figure shit like this out.

Jill sat at her desk, fidgeting uncontrollably, cooling her nerves by arranging her perfectly sharpened pencils into a thick vertical line, and arranging her eraser so that it was parallel to the pencils.

That is an example of showing the reader. See how effective that is?

*VI. Angst*

I, for one, can not handle most angst fics because it's just taken over the top. Yes, you've established by the cliche setting and Kakashi sitting at that memorial/Sasuke looking at his clan's palace/Shizune looking longingly at Tsunade that this story is going to be full of wangst.

But here is a tip. Unless you pull it off just right, *nobody is going to give a darn*. Not even your characters.

I can't really explain how to write a great angst fic. Waiting for a good angst writer to amend. ^^

*VII. Plot*

"What?" you say, "You're going to give me advice on how to write my own fucking plot?"

I grin and nod.

"FUCK YOU!"

Fact is, that is how most people respond to me when I tell them their plot is completely uninteresting. I happen to be a fan of highly interwoven plots that require much unravelling and give the readers a sense of suspense of what could happen, and a curiosity to read further.

Though, this is fanfiction world, so some of the more straightforward plots are acceptable. Just two plot ideas I want to touch on.

i. Truth or Dare/Some other random fucking game they play at sleepovers:

Unless it is genuinely funny, this type of plot is overdone and should be erased from your mind.

ii. AU

AU=Alternate Universe. Unless you're exceptionally skilled at writing, I don't really recommend them unless you're not being serious. In which case, why the hell are you reading this in the first place?

Anything else (I wanted to mention pairings, but I could be biased as I'm rather against romance) is generally okay.

*VIII. Characterization*

Because this is fanfic land, I'll offer some general tips on the characters that I find are commonly OOC, then move on to OCs. The dark side of fanfics.

Naruto- He is not quiet or shy, unless the situation calls for it. And it should be pretty extreme, because I've never seen him quiet or shy in canon.

Hinata- She is shy. To a fault. She is apprehensive, cautious, and above all weak, in both strength and personality. *She is not good at everything.*

Tenten- She is not a femi-nazi. 

Neji- Unless it's pre-Naruto, not a complete asshole. Seriously guys, he changed. He is no longer a caged bird!

Ino- Not a bitch.

OCs (Original Characters)

Mary Sue Litmus Test. For starters. 

This should be fairly obvious, but any fiction writer developing their own original story is going to have most or all of his or her characters be OC's (I say most because sometimes people can interject real people into fictional settings, for instance a story that comes to mind would be "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr, which has Teddy Roosevelt as one of the characters despite being a work of fiction -- it's set in New York City during the time when Roosevelt was the police chief). So that said, if a good writer couldn't pull off good OC's, then there would be no such thing as good fiction.

One of the most important things to consider both in terms of plotline and characterization is that you need, as an author, to do all you can to withhold the reader's suspension of disbelief. That is to say, the reader will expect your fictional story to be fictional, but your characters and plot should develop realistically given the bounds of the universe you impose.

When it comes to fanfiction, there is already an establishment of what to believe in canon. It's okay to break that mold, but in doing so, you must explain why that mold is broken and do your best to pick up the pieces and assemble them into a believable picture. OC's must fit the mold within the same bounds as normal storyline characters. This is one of the problems with a "Mary Sue" -- they typically break these bounds, often without explanation or with an explanation that is dubious at best; they typically facilitate disbelief.

The problem with most OCs is that fans make them Godly without handicapping them. Most OC's in Naruto usually become Naruto's trainer and he is so godly that no one in the Naruverse can beat him, not even the main villain. So what's the point of the story if you got a character who can crush and enemy Naruto can't? Is it because that OC wants to see Naruto do it? Well if that's the case then its not believable and this is where most OC's stories fail. You can have an OC but the story and the background on this character should be sound and correlates with the plot of the story to make it believable.

*IX. Critique- Giving and Recieving*

Recieving- Okay, seriously people. Stop getting in a little bitch fit because I said your story is mediocre. People who critique your story are donating their spare time to you, to try and make you a better writer. If you don't want criticism, and you want to believe that your Truth or Dare story is the best out there, then place a footnote saying no criticism. Don't bitch at the people critiquing you.

Giving- On that note, don't just flame the person and move on. Offer suggestions on how to improve, and try not to be scathing. Basically, just don't be a complete ass (being a slight ass is not only fine, it is encouraged ).

*X. Dialogue*

_Coming soon!_

*XI. Cliche*

_Coming soon!_

*XII. Miscellaneous*

_Coming soon!_

_Black- Kyon_
_Red- Eureka_
_Blue- Recalcitrant Funkasaur_
_Dark Green- thatreevesgirl_
_Lime- nyce456_
_Purple- mortalone_


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (May 4, 2007)

HAI GUYS, KYON IS DA KING OF GAIALONLINE AND 4CHONS THATS WHY HES MAKING THIS BUT WE STILL LOVE HIM.


----------



## Vance (May 4, 2007)

So true/ It gives you excellent tips.


----------



## Eureka (May 4, 2007)

> But I've seen fanfics where she solos Neji, Shino, Shikamaru, God...



Well, I will admit that that is unrealistic witout any further training...

Btw, the two poll options are both "Yes!" 

On another note, I found this to be a very basic guide, which is of course good for people who have not done that much writing before, but it did not help me, to put it that way...  Still, great work!


----------



## Vance (May 4, 2007)

You dare question Kyon? 

   lol, it is true that Hinata is weak. Sakura would have at least landed a punch on Neji. Ino would have done nothing.

  Hinata is worthless.


----------



## Eureka (May 4, 2007)

Vance said:
			
		

> You dare question Kyon?



Yes...


----------



## Vance (May 4, 2007)

Eureka said:


> Yes...



    I hope you enjoy wetting your bed in fear of him everynight...


----------



## Chee (May 4, 2007)

Like your avatar says, fabulous. =]

Nice and organized. =D


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (May 4, 2007)

i actually likethis. on my fanfic before, i've been told that i tend to rush things, soi'm trying to go at a reasonablepace. but as for this .... um... thingy, i think it helps


----------



## Sasori-puppet#111 (May 4, 2007)

hell good *pos rep* yeah i'm writing a non naruto (or any thing related) story... i think it's good


----------



## Vance (May 4, 2007)

Kyon's avatar bleeds win...


----------



## Dogma (May 4, 2007)

Aye, I'm in agreeance with Eureka. 

It's basic, very good. Sortof like "Fanfiction writing for dummies" and that sort of jazz.

But for more skilled writers, it's not much more then something to clap your hands and say "Good job Kyon!" about.

Which of course, you did do a good job. There are plenty of writers here who should read this, and think long and hard about their post before they try to move their story around. (Like to Fanfiction.net, or Storiesmania and what not.)

I intend, on amending Cliche', and Paritciple Phrases. If that's allright. I'll send you a PM in a few moments.


----------



## Kyon (May 4, 2007)

Nice to see this was so well recieved.

Gonna see if I can get it stickied.


----------



## Vance (May 4, 2007)

Maybe change the title...


----------



## mortalone (May 4, 2007)

Hmm, I think I can add to this.

*II. Grammar and Punctuation*

Some people just have poor writing skills even if they have really good ideas. This is okay so long as you get a "beta reader." A beta reader or "beta" for short is someone who reads over your story and corrects any and all glaring grammatical and spelling errors without making changes to the storyline (even if they want to).

I've seen so many stories where the author has had some good ideas but I just couldn't stand reading past the first chapter because the basic writing mistakes were too irritating to ignore. Some mistakes are okay, but for the love of god keep it readable.

*III and IV. Showing and Pacing*

100% agreed with first post. It's okay to tell some things, but telling us too much rather than showing us makes it seem like we're reading a textbook. Also, for pacing, you want to control how people read your story through what you say. If you leave out a lot of detail, you accelerate the pace. I've seen authors who skip over tons of detail so that they can get to action quickly, which slows down the story at the action scenes, which is backwards of how you should pace your story. Faster pacing should be used for the more exciting parts of the story, thus building on them. Slowing down into action drags it out and causes us to lose interest. It's like taking the anime and fast forwarding through conversations and then switching to slow motion through the fight scenes. If you've seen it before and just want to see the fights again, then that's fine (in other words, it's okay to skip parts in your story that are exactly the same as canon, but be careful not to skip something that should not by any means be the same as canon). This rule about what to skip doesn't apply for things you attend to skip and bring up in a flashback later in order to keep something hidden from us.

Also, writing style influences pacing a lot. Simple sentences are easier to read. More complex sentences that are longer and involve more various punctuation marks -- colons, semi-colons, dash marks and even commas -- slow down the pacing. Did you notice the difference between those two sentences?

*V. Action*

I'll add something to help, but this is very particular to Naruto stories. Do not turn fight scenes into "jutsu wars" or "power level wars." What do I mean?

Lots of authors have their characters go into "jutsu wars" where one character announces a technique, the other announces a technique and they go back and forth and back and forth for page after page. Doing this is boring to read. I don't want your characters to list how many "jutsus" they know and I don't want them to behave so amatuerishly. Techniques should be used strategically. If you don't know what I mean, go back and watch episode 82. Itachi draws shuriken but instead of throwing them, he uses them as a distraction to complete a technique. Kakashi is at a range too close to try to intercept the shuriken with a weapon of his own so he races through handseals to put up a water shield. He comments to himself that he didn't even realize Itachi was using a ninjutsu technique. Suddenly another Itachi stabs Kakashi in the kidney with a kunai and that Kakashi turns into water -- it was a clone the whole time. The real Kakashi is under water and passes a kunai to Kurenai before jumping out of the water and pulling her away from the first Itachi who suddenly explodes. It turns out the first Itachi was a shadow clone and the real Itachi stabbed Kakashi in the back with the kunai.

The two are fighting strategically. Too many clones and their movements as well as chakra are wasted as the clones won't fight efficiently together (like how Naruto fights -- he wastes massive amounts of chakra and basically hopes to win through numbers and attrition, which does not work on high levels).

What I mean by "power wars" is that characters will just try to over-power the other's techniques rather than finding the smartest/easiest way possible to dodge or deflect the technique. This happens especially a lot in Naruto versus Sasuke battles where they just ram chidori and rasengan at each other. They aren't fighting efficiently. On the hospital rooftop, Sasuke was in the air so he formed the chidori because he couldn't control his movements. The first chidori/rasengan connection at VotE was because they were essentially testing each other -- Sasuke testing Naruto's power and Naruto testing whether what Sasuke said was true, namely that Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto. The next chidori Sasuke used was after he had prevented Naruto from countering in any way. The final chidori was because he had used the cursed seal for too long and needed to end it.

However, just because in both Naruto and Bleach characters will "end it all in one attack" doesn't mean that you, as an author, should. It works sometimes, but it should be spared for battles that you want to make especially epic, and even then you should think three times before writing that way because chances are that your battle will just be another cliche.

*VI. Angst*

Agreed. Waaaay too many Naruto stories are overly angsty. I especially hate when Naruto gets beaten, abused and even raped as a child and then he still wants to be Hokage. And then somehow in the same story he is supposed to be a genius. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what? Don't write in angst without reason. Some angst is okay, but it should generally be limited.

THe best true angst story I've seen was "The Reaper Organization" on fanfiction.net. Even so, I couldn't stomach reading it through the first time I saw it. The second time I tried working my way through I had to skim over the first five or six chapters because the angst machine was on overload. Nami's (OC) death and Naruto's death (yes he dies, but he's not gone for good, hence the name "reaper") were over the top angsty and I swear I just wanted to hit something and I wouldn't have minded if that something was the author's face for writing something so angsty.

*VII and VIII. Plot and Characterization*

Agreed. I hate useless stories like "Naruto at high school" type fanfiction and "truth or dare" type fanfiction. I don't even read them. AU's I tend to enjoy, but make sure that your author world is internally consistent, not overly weird and detailed. Stories about dragons with unexplained powers, no real relation to the Naruto world and having nonsensical relationships with Naruto the character are always terrible stories.

Also, I have to say that if you want to write good fanfiction, then it usually best to read a lot of fanfiction. Lots of people write stories that belong to overly done genres such as "Naruto gets exiled from Konoha," or "Hinata confesses her love for Naruto," or "Naruto travels back in time." Once you've read one of these fics, you've read most of them. Avoid writing stories of over done genres unless you have new twists that make them interesting.

On my fanfiction.net page you will find that I'm writing a "Naruto gets exiled" fic. However, I've gone into this genre knowing the mistakes of others and hoping to correct them. I also give details on how it could be that a thirteen year old Naruto could get exiled. (Remember, if Sandaime had the power to make a law that prevented people from talking about the Kyuubi and if he had the power to keep Naruto under his watch directly, keeping him alive and even somewhat happy for twelve years, then the Hokage must have the power to control the fate of villagers on an individual level.)

About characterization, personally I PREFER OOC Naruto's, but make sure that you show us how your Naruto is different and make sure you develop his personality. As I said, people will claim Naruto is a genius and then have him do all sorts of crazy things like get beaten and abused and spat on for every day of his life and then want to protect those same people who do that to him for no other reason than that the canon Naruto wants to be Hokage.

Mary Sue writing also should be avoided. The better you make a character, the harder the challenges that character faces should be. Putting Naruto on the level of the Sannin should automatically correspond to having either more enemies or more powerful enemies and possibly turning up the time table for Akatsuki if they play a role in your fic (in other words, they aren't going to wait and let him become even more powerful). Also, every character should have at least one major flaw. A character who is super smart, super powerful, a character that has super strengh, speed, stamina, knowledge and chakra control, who is emotionally controlled and logical and just so happens to be a perfect gentleman with deep political connections is boring to read about.

Also, if you name a character after yourself or your e-dentity I will hate you.


----------



## Vance (May 4, 2007)

Nice work there. I would love to write a "How to make a lemon fic"


----------



## Jareth Dallis (May 5, 2007)

There should be something along the lines of how to make a good Original Character. I swear if I see an Original Character named, Rei, Hiro, Shiro, or other over used Japanese name Im going to scream.


----------



## Vance (May 5, 2007)

lol, I want to make a perverted fic guide.


----------



## Kyon (May 5, 2007)

Oh shit, I knew I forgot something. Anybody who posted before my second post, could you delete your posts please? I forgot to make a second post for placeholding.


----------



## Eureka (May 5, 2007)

> I swear if I see an Original Character named, Rei, Hiro, Shiro, or other over used Japanese name Im going to scream.



My OC is named Shihiro...


----------



## Luckyday (May 5, 2007)

Vance said:


> *tears* I remember that fic and how you boldly hated it.
> 
> This writing piece... It's so beautiful.  I must go masturbate :rofl
> 
> Seriously though, excellent work, now I want to start writing another fic.  Great tips though. *gives 5/5*



What are truth or dare plots?


----------



## Kyon (May 5, 2007)

Luckyday said:


> What are truth or dare plots?



You know that sleepover game, Truth or Dare? Where the girls giggle telling each other their secrets and daring each other to do stupid things?

People make fanfics out of that. I've yet to see a *decent* one.


----------



## Luckyday (May 5, 2007)

So they are basically stories where the chracters play the truth or dare game.


----------



## Kyon (May 5, 2007)

Luckyday said:


> So they are basically stories where the chracters play the truth or dare game.



Yeah, and I bet you can imagine their quality.


----------



## Kakashi_The_Copy_Ninja (May 5, 2007)

Anything can be made into a decent fanfic if the author puts enough effort into that. The only problem is that all the turth or dare or similar fics actually lack originaliy, thus the premise. I mean something where you can develop the story trough "dares" and such is somewhat lame in my opinion. But anyways I think that this is a good thread and it should be stickied.


----------



## Recal (May 5, 2007)

Good job with this post, Kyon.  That was an excellent example of showing versus telling.   Don't think I could've come up with a more concise one myself.


----------



## Eureka (May 6, 2007)

*V. Action
*

AKA so you want to write an action scene, huh?

I personally like writing action scenes, and they are really not so hard to do, once you have got the basics down. The important parts are suspense, and descriptions, while still not overdescribing every single movement.

As a demonstration, I am going to walk you through writing a short action scene. First, think out what you want to happen. Lets take: Naruto is jumping through the trees, when he is attacked by three ninja. Naruto escapes out of the forest. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was jumping along from tree to tree, when he heard a sound. He looked right saw a kunai flying towards him. He dodged it, and saw three black ninja jumpint towards him from the side. He realized they were going to attack him. He wondered why, but decided that he did not have time. He began going again. 

Naruto stopped on a branch, and without stopping, did a spin right around it, attached by chakra to the branch. He ran off in the other direction, avoiding a kunai that came flying his way. He came out of the forest. He had escaped. 




Now this in itself is ok, but it lacks hatred. There are no descriptions, and the action is bland. Now, let us insert some words from our action wordlist.


*Spoiler*: _Action wordlist_ 



Suddenly, glimpsed, veered, realized, whipped, quickly, frantically, narrowly, launching, rusteling, sped, escape. Using these simple words, and a few alternate descriptions, We can vastly improve this scene. 





*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was jumping quickly along from tree to tree, when he suddenly heard a rusteling sound. He quickly glanced right, and glimpsed a flash of silver metal; a kunai flying towards him. He jumped sideways, narrowly dodging it. He glanced behind him, and saw three black figures speeding towards him from the side. It was an attack, he realized. Why? How? He did not really have much time to think about that now. He sped off to the nearest tree, trying to escape the three figures.

Naruto suddenly came to a stop on a branch, and pushed chakra out of his feet, effectively gluing him to the branch. Without stopping, he whipped around the branch doing a full circle, launching himself into the air in the opposite direction. He narrowly dodged a kunai that came flying behind him.

At last, he  burst out of the forest, and into the open sunlight. He had escaped. 




Now that version had pretty much only descriptions added, and a few minor rewrites, and you see how much of a differance that made. Now, the next version is how I would write this scene. I fleshed out what's happening, and added a few small details, just to get the suspence, and feeling. See for yourself. 



*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was jumping along from tree to tree, when suddenly, he heard a whizzing noise, just to his right. He glanced to his right, and glimpsed a flash of metal in the sunlight. He veered off to the right, just avoinding the kunai that passed just where he would have been. He glanced around wildly, and saw three figures speeding towards him from his right. He was being attacked, he frantically realized. _But why?_ 

Naruto decided not to find out, and sped off in the other direction. He felt the adrenaline pounding through his system, and he sped up a little, looking off to the side. He had to shake them off somehow; they were closing in on him. Naruto suddenly stopped on a thin branch, and pushed a moderate amount of chakra out of his feet, gluing himself to the branch. Without even stopping, he whipped around the branch, and catapulted himself into the air in opposite direction, wind whipping through his hair. He smiled slightly to himself, and stopped biting his lip.

 He head one of the ninja's shout something, and he heard a clunk of feet on cracking bark as they changed direction. From his side, he glimpsed another kunai flying towards him through the trees. Naruto was forced to do a strange sort of flip thing to avoid it, and almost crashed into a branch. The end of the forest was not far from here now; he could see the bright sunlight, and between the trees, he glimpsed hokage mountai, shining bright in the sunlight.

Finally, he burst out of the forest, and in to the open sunlight, which almost blinded him. He flew down towards the village as fast as he could, and only when he had reached the familiar buildings of Konoha, did he start to breathe noramally again. 




And that, to me, is an action sequence that I am happy with. See guys, it's not that hard.

So in summary: 

-Describe, but do not overdescribe movements and stuff. In a swordfight, use a mix of descriptions of individual blows, and generalizations like: They traded a flurry of rapid blows, each as fierce as the last. Use a little time to describe the fighting enviroment, so the fighters can exploit there enviroment (Ie throw rocks at each other, or the likes), and so the reader can better visualize the fight. 

-Make it exciting, and sudden. These things are moving fast, so add in things that makes it feel like split second reactions, and frantic movements.

-Try to not just have them stand there, dodging and casting Jutsu at each other. Make a plan of what you want to happen. Plan out your fight scene, for the moments that truely make you go "Omfg?!?!" since they make the best scenes.

Hope you guys liked this little guide. Feel free to Pm me for questions or suggestions.


----------



## Kyon (May 6, 2007)

Excellent, Eureka. I'll put that into the guide as soon as I get room. Or maybe I'll just put it into the second post now. But my issue stands. Could everyone (that being Eureka, Vance, and Ballistik) delete your posts before my second one? That one will be used for more wordspace.


----------



## Alia_Atreides (May 6, 2007)

Kyon, that's a good job. Your tips are useful, and, of course, very true. You have a good view on writing and critic.

I just would like to talk about the OC thing... Honestly, I never read a fiction with an OC that I liked, and those are probably rare. I must say I look at fanfiction as a hobby, and the whole "fan" thing is the strongest trace in it for me. I want to read about the characters that already exist, and that's what i'm looking for. I want a new approach for them (although in character), but I dont want it to diverge much from the character I'm used to see. 

Now, why do I say that? Simple: I think that's how most readers of fanfic feel. I think most readers are there to see their favorite characters and pairs. After all, if they wanted new characters, they would read original fiction, right?

Does that mean OC are not allowed? No. I have never liked an OC that is the main character in a story, but I've seen many OCs that are well writen and fun to read when they are support characters - sometimes important, vital support characters. I mean, a story about Naruto/Hinata, let's say, and they have a child. Well, the child is an OC, but it's so much easier to accept, even like this character. He is related, after all, to two familiar characters, and he probably adds importance to the plot just because he exists. It might be really cool to see Naruto as father, and his son doesnt have to be a Byakugan genius with the Kyuubi power, who goes around kicking ass. No, he might just be normal, _maybe_ have a special gift, maybe in danger, but I honestly think most readers want to know how *Naruto and Hinata *will react to that, not the other way around. 

So, just as a suggestion, if you want to have an OC, maybe you should just try a story where he plays a minor role, or a story with regular characters that introduce him - very carefully -, and see how people will react to that. If they like, they will probably want more, and you can make a story about your OC, having an audience for him already, and following the suggestions (only the good ones) you will probably recieve in the first story. 

So, just a few thoughts.


----------



## Eureka (May 6, 2007)

> Yeah, and I bet you can imagine their quality.



You know, Kyon, right now I feel very tempted to write a Truth or Dare fic, just to see if it is possible...


----------



## Luckyday (May 6, 2007)

Kyon said:


> Yeah, and I bet you can imagine their quality.



I just have one word for you.*Yikes!*:S


----------



## DarkFire (May 6, 2007)

omg these writing tips are freakin useful! but for more skilled people its ok, but still repS!


----------



## Sasori-puppet#111 (May 6, 2007)

to writing a truth or Dare *Goes over to a desk with a single mid 20th century lamp and started scriberling over the piece of paper a pointless trth or dare stories... gets boried so goes to watch read narutoforums*


----------



## Recal (May 7, 2007)

Hi, Kyon!

Here's something you could put into the Grammar and Punctuation section. 

Apostrophe Placing

Apostrophes are used

To form the possessive of nouns (i.e. show ownership).

If you have a singular noun, the apostrophe goes before the s:

Naruto's ramen.
Kakashi's sharingan.
Ino's flower shop.

If you have a plural noun, the apostrophe goes after the s:

The kage-bunshin Narutos' attacks were lamentable.
The Yamanakas' flower shop.  



Apostrophes are also used to show omission of letters.

I can't, instead of I cannot.
I don't, instead of I do not.
It's, instead of it is.

NOTE:  Please, please, please take into account the difference between _it's_ and _its_.  _It's_ is an abbreviated version of _it is_. There is a missing letter - hence the apostrophe.  _Its_ is a possessive pronoun - which doesn't need an apostrophe any more than the other possessive pronouns do (e.g. ours, yours, hers, his).

Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in it's mouth.
This sentence reads: "Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in it is mouth."  It doesn't make sense. 

Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in its mouth.
Now, it makes a lot more sense. 


Apostrophes are not used to donate plurals. Ever.

The following are wrong:
Ramen noodle's at this stall - (should read: "Ramen noodles at this stall.")
Sasuke has two working sharingan's - (should read: "Sasuke has two working sharingans).


----------



## Konaru (May 7, 2007)

just wonderin, do our stories have to be on naruto and them?


----------



## Kyon (May 7, 2007)

Konaru said:


> just wonderin, do our stories have to be on naruto and them?



Well, this is the Naruto fanfiction section so...yeah.


----------



## Konaru (May 7, 2007)

well can u make up characters that join the group for the story?


----------



## Kyon (May 7, 2007)

Konaru said:


> well can u make up characters that join the group for the story?



Yeah. They're called Original Characters (OCs) and in all honesty, aren't usually written well.


----------



## mortalone (May 8, 2007)

Even if OC's aren't particularly well written, so long as they are decently written there is a bit of an appeal for them. One of the major faults in the Naruverse when it comes to writing fanfiction is that all the Naruto characters have *exaggerated *qualities. Hinata's shyness, Shikamaru's laziness, Naruto's stupidity...

For that same reason, I also like to read stories where characters are somewhat OOC for believable reasons and where characters are placed into unusual positions.

Naruto himself is amazingly annoying to read about, which is a major character fault that should generally be toned down when writing fanfiction. Having your main protagonist be so... unattractive (in a metaphorical sense) discourages readers.


----------



## Eureka (May 8, 2007)

I've heard a lot about how OC's are never done well, and so on, so I was wondering if anyone could read my Deidara fic, and tell me what they think of MY Oc's... 

Link in sig...


----------



## Kyon (May 8, 2007)

Eureka said:


> I've heard a lot about how OC's are never done well, and so on, so I was wondering if anyone could read my Deidara fic, and tell me what they think of MY Oc's...
> 
> Link in sig...



It's not a set in stone rule. A good writer (or someone who specializes in original fiction) can pull it off easily, but as a general rule in fanfiction they're not done well.

Still though. If you're good enough, then by all means...


----------



## mortalone (May 8, 2007)

This should be fairly obvious, but any fiction writer developing their own original story is going to have most or all of his or her characters be OC's (I say most because sometimes people can interject real people into fictional settings, for instance a story that comes to mind would be "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr, which has Teddy Roosevelt as one of the characters despite being a work of fiction -- it's set in New York City during the time when Roosevelt was the police chief). So that said, if a good writer couldn't pull off good OC's, then there would be no such thing as good fiction.

One of the most important things to consider both in terms of plotline and characterization is that you need, as an author, to do all you can to withhold the reader's suspension of disbelief. That is to say, the reader will expect your fictional story to be fictional, but your characters and plot should develop realistically given the bounds of the universe you impose.

When it comes to fanfiction, there is already an establishment of what to believe in canon. It's okay to break that mold, but in doing so, you must explain why that mold is broken and do your best to pick up the pieces and assemble them into a believable picture. OC's must fit the mold within the same bounds as normal storyline characters. This is one of the problems with a "Mary Sue" -- they typically break these bounds, often without explanation or with an explanation that is dubious at best; they typically facilitate disbelief.


----------



## Eureka (May 8, 2007)

Kyon said:
			
		

> It's not a set in stone rule.



well yes, of course I understand that, and I know very well that this can be done well. I was just wondering what people thought of MY Oc's..


----------



## Jarl lKarl (May 8, 2007)

JarethDallis said:


> There should be something along the lines of how to make a good Original Character. I swear if I see an Original Character named, Rei, Hiro, Shiro, or other over used Japanese name Im going to scream.



I gave up trying to come up with original, meaningful names and just started naming them after Gundam Wing/Seed seiyus. It's easier that way and you don't look like an idiot.

edit: Lol, poll.


----------



## nyce456 (May 13, 2007)

Kyon props for this. However, this thread is about four years to late for me. I could have really used the tips for this thread when I wrote my first fic, but now, I think I'm doing pretty good. I have trial and error to thank for that, lol.  But I would definitely recommend anyone who wants to write a fic for the first time or who just need help in making their fic better to read this thread. You're on to something and that's never bad.

The problem with most OCs is that fans make them Godly without handicapping them. Most OC's in Naruto usually become Naruto's trainer and he is so godly that no one in the Naruverse can beat him, not even the main villain. So what's the point of the story if you got a character who can  crush and enemy Naruto can't? Is it because that OC wants to see Naruto do it? Well if that's the case then its not believable and this is where most OC's stories fail. You can have an OC but the story and the background on this character should be sound and correlates with the plot of the story to make it believable.


----------



## thatreevesgirl (May 19, 2007)

I noticed this, because commas are my mortal enemy.

"John ran quickly, and passed the finish line."

It's wrong. You do not add a comma when you are combining two sentances with a compound verb. If there is not a new subject, you do not add a comma. That example should be, "John ran quickly and passed the finish line." However, it would require a comma if you wrote, "John ran quickly, and he passed the finish line." If the second part of the sentance after the conjunction cannot support itself on its own, it does not need a comma. "Subject verb conjunction verb." vs. "Subject verb, conjunction subject verb." 

Like I said, commas are my mortal enemy, and I am just trying to help...


----------



## Kyon (May 19, 2007)

thatreevesgirl said:


> I noticed this, because commas are my mortal enemy.
> 
> "John ran quickly, and passed the finish line."
> 
> ...



Oh shi-

I forgot to add pretty much a whole section. 

Thank you for noticing that.

Edit: Section added, credited to you. It should be fine now. >_>


----------



## ~*~Uzumaki Naruto~*~ (May 20, 2007)

thank you

I plan to write my own fanfic soon, but I don't have enough time at the moment.
So these tips will help me for sure


----------



## Saffi (May 27, 2007)

Thanks for finding the time to write all those tips! They were very helpful ^_^ 
But are you forgeting that different people prefer to read different styles of writing? I mean, some people love loads of description, others prefer a lot of dialogue. I've tried writing in many different styles, and have found that some people will love one style, and others will detest it. I belive it is almost impossible to make a story that is universally loved by all. What advice do you give in that sense?
Anyhows, I'm ranting (sorry), your tips have encouraged me to start writing again.. I will make a universally loved story! *yay*


----------



## Kyon (May 27, 2007)

Saffi said:


> Thanks for finding the time to write all those tips! They were very helpful ^_^
> But are you forgeting that different people prefer to read different styles of writing? I mean, some people love loads of description, others prefer a lot of dialogue. I've tried writing in many different styles, and have found that some people will love one style, and others will detest it. I belive it is almost impossible to make a story that is universally loved by all. What advice do you give in that sense?
> Anyhows, I'm ranting (sorry), your tips have encouraged me to start writing again.. I will make a universally loved story! *yay*



Universally loved will probably never happen, not due to style but to reader preference.  

However, the way to make a story appeal to the largest crowd possible is to have one with some comedy, not too much description (tl;dr people) quick dialogue, good pacing, things like that. Keep in mind that while it sounds simple, it is actually rather difficult to pull off correctly.


----------



## natwel (Jun 1, 2007)

It's a bit long, I think i'll read it later


----------



## molten (Jun 6, 2007)

A guide about how to end speech would be nice. For example

He said with an angry expression. Those endings. If you could give some tips for those, it would be great.


----------



## Vance (Jun 6, 2007)

Huh? I loved the part with the plot Kyon.


----------



## DemonAbyss10 (Jun 17, 2007)

You should add something on creating names for People, places, and jutsu. 

some people like me want to know the CORRECT way of going about making naming them.  

EDIT: perhaps also listing useful tools for doing that, as if you want to name a new jutsu correctly, or to make names fitting characters and so on, you need to know what words actually mean, and I cannot translate kanji or katakana and other numerous symbols of the japanese written language


----------



## Vance (Jun 17, 2007)

This wasn't for a ninja fanfic, it was for overall writing.


----------



## Vance (Jun 17, 2007)

This wasn't for a ninja fanfic, it was for overall writing.


----------



## RaiRyuu (Jul 1, 2007)

That was good, very organized and well thought of. I can't say I'm a FanFic expert, or even that I'm ] an adept but I found it was pretty basic stuff...Didn't provide much help. I was still good though and I think everyone who's just getting started should read it even if they know all that stuff just in case. I especially liked the double "yes" poll...


----------



## Raizen (Jul 1, 2007)

Lol just lol.


----------



## kyubioftheleaf (Jul 12, 2007)

wow o0 i needed this lol, i woun't say i'm that bad, apart from spealing and grammer, but this has helped me - and a tip, if your spealing and grammer is ad get a beta ( some one to read and edit before you post it on the web) - i have and it works wonders belive me!


----------



## reiyel (Jul 14, 2007)

Nice thread. ^_^ I wrote a a while ago, though that was mostly in a joking manner. You're giving about the same advice, though you're missing a section on good dialogue I believe. >.>

First, about "he said, she yelled"... Try not to use "he said" too much. It's not forbidden, but try using words that give an idea of how it sounds, what kind of emotion is in it. "He whispered," "she growled," "he snapped," "she muttered, resentful," "he repeated mockingly."

Or you can put it _before _the dialogue, to vary the sentence structures a little. 

Sasuke huffed and crossed his arms, annoyed. "I can't believe you're doing that."

Then you go to the next line -- just remember, for every change of speaker, you MUST open a new paragraph. 

If the character isn't using any special kind of tone, just don't add anything, before or after. It's not necessary to add a descriptor or a modifier every line, as long as you use something from time to time to remind us who's talking. It lets what is being said stand out and sometimes that's good too.


1) *Know how your characters speak.* What sort of vocabulary do they have, extended, poor, sophisticated? How polite are they? How dynamic do they sound? (never ever use more than two exclamation points together, by the way. _Ever_. Published writers very rarely use more than one.) Are they the shy-quiet type, the antisocial-quiet type, the babbling type, the gives-lessons type? 

There are things you might want your characters to say, but you MUST keep in mind whether _the character _would say it. I don't care how smart or funny your comeback is, if it sounds out of character in that person's mouth, it's bad writing. Keep it for someone else if it's really that good, don't force it into their mouth.

As to how to make it come out in the dialogue, I'm using a few characters with very specific speech patterns as examples; most people won't be so obvious.

-Naruto is going to use exclamations. He's going to boast, and use words that exaggerate things if they make him look good. If they make him angry, he'll rant and make whatever happened come out as an awful thing. If they make him sad, he'll say as little as possible, because he doesn't share things like that.

Let's say there's a car. And it's orange. Naruto's probably going to be all "Wow! This car is the most AWESOME shade of orange _ever_! It's so... So... orange!"

-Sasuke is going to use short, curt sentences that go right to the point. He's not going to bother with lots of adjectives, he's never _ever _going to be poetic. He's going to be sarcastic, even abrasive. He doesn't use honorifics. He's not openly rude unless he's annoyed, but he doesn't go out of his way to be polite either.

"Burn it."
... XD okay no, another one.
"I wouldn't be caught dead in that car."
... Okayyy another try. >___>;;;
"That's the ugliest shade of orange I've ever seen."
... good enough. 

-Kakashi is going to drawl a lot if he's not being serious. He'll also tease a bit. He has an annoying tendency to imply things and never say them out loud, and then when people ask him what he thinks, he'll go and say things like "I wonder..." "Well, I'm sure you can figure it out," or even "Hm?", pretending he already forgot what they were talking about as it didn't sound important to him. When he's serious his speech becomes a lot more direct, and then he sounds very professional. 

"My, my... That's a cheerful color for a car."
"Yes! Isn't it awesome?"
*headpats* *shakes head* "... Right, Naruto."

"Naruto, no. It's a safety hazard."
"Aww come on, kakashi-sensei!" 
"Keep it for the village. We're not going to cross a warring country with that."

-Hinata is going to stutter and hesitate (which can be marked with "..." , "--" and the repetition of some short words -- don't systematically go the route of the s-s-stutter, real stuttering doesn't always sound like that. Besides, if you use the repeat letter every other word, it's going to become unreadable and your readers will want to k-k-k-kill you w-w-w-with a m-m-m-achette. Just saying.)

She's also going to use "softener words" like "don't you think so?" "but perhaps," "I'm not sure," "A little bit," and some "ah," "um," "er," and other sounds that serve to give her some time to think on her answer. She's afraid she's going to say a stupid thing, so she's going to delay her reply to make double-sure she's not saying anything offensive.

"Um. Don't you think this car is... A little... A little, er, _orange_?"
What she really means is "it's eye-gouging awful", but she's never going to SAY it. She's going to mention the color, and see how the person talking with her reacts to that. If they go "Eww, I know" she'll feel free to agree with them; if they're all "yeah! Isn't it AWESOME?" she'll never mention it again. You can imply that she doesn't agree by mentioning that she gives the person an unconvincing smile, or looks away before answering, or other kinds of body language. 


*Spoiler*: _Now guess who says what. :D_ 



"Man, I love that car! It's so kickass!"

"It's hideous."

"Weeell. I wouldn't go that far, but it's certainly eye-catching."

"Ah... Yes. It's very, um, Warm? F-flamboyant?"

"Oh hey, flamboyant! Nice word. Yeah, it's totally that!"

"Flaming, you mean."

"Like you can talk, you asshole! At least it's not _purple_."

"...Children, children, play nice..."


----------



## reiyel (Jul 14, 2007)

... Which brings us to 2) *Communication and interaction between characters isn't only about line after line of dialogue, but tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and all that stuff. *

Most people don't approach each other in perpendicular lines, stop, turn to stand face to face, their back ramrod straight and hands flat against their thighs, and steadily exchange information for five minutes and thirty-seven seconds sharp, after which they go their separate ways. 

Yes, even in dialogue, it's important to know where the characters are, and what they look like (if a character pokes them in the ribs to underline a point, will it be spongy or will they hit a rib? If he's taller than them, they'll have to reach up if they want to give a headpat. Things like that.) 

Either they're standing at attention as they give a report, frozen in fear, curled up in utter misery -- or they're going to be _moving_. They're going to touch their hair when they're nervous, tap their finger against their chin or lips as they think, wave to accentuate their point, pace, tap their foot, or even simply breathe more deeply to calm themselves down, or blink a lot. And _we need to know that_. It makes the scene more alive. 

And not only does it make the scene more alive, but it's going to make what they SAY different, too. 

Sakura and Naruto are standing before Naruto's new car: 

_"That's your new car? It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"

"Yeah! It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."

"... Somehow that's not surprising."

"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see! Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?"

"Ew, no thanks."_


*Spoiler*: _now with actions!_ 



"That's your new car?" Sakura asked dubiously. "It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"

Naruto grinned at her, and rolled over the hood to polish a speck of dust with his sleeve. "Yeah!" He admired his handiwork all of two seconds, and then bounced over to the back, trailing a hand along the side. "It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."

Sakura made a face as he all but twirled his way back to her side. "... Somehow that's not surprising."

"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see! Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?" He waved his arms excitedly, almost hitting her in the face. 

"Naruto! Be careful, damn it!" she roared, delivering a downward punch to the top of his skull.

---------

"That's your new car?" Sakura asked dubiously. "It's a little, er, orange, don't you think so?"

Naruto beamed at her, patting the hood proudly. "Yeah! It's awesome, isn't it. I love it."

She sighed. "... Somehow that's not surprising."

"It's going to beat all those other stupid cars, just you wait and see!" Naruto chuckled good-naturedly, and then scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed. "Hey, hey, do you want to go for a ride?"

Sakura hesitated, but he looked so earnest and hopeful... 

"... Fine," she capitulated. "But just this once, and if you drive too badly I swear I'll kick you out from behind the wheel and go sell it for parts."




See? Sakura reacted to his body language and attitude as well as his words, and so we get a totally different outcome. 

Careful not to fall into the reverse trap, which is to add actions to EVERYTHING. As a result it feels like the characters are in perpetual motion and are having facial cramps, and then the reader is so busy trying to remember who is doing what and where, and where they are compared to each other, that the dialogue ends up forgotten. The action and body language must give accents to the dialogue, not burrow it, so just mention a tic or action if it's meaningful (gives a hint as to the character's real feelings) or it's going to impact the scene later (like Kakashi going "yes, yes" while walking toward the driver's seat -- a few lines later he'll steal the keys.) 

And when you have a very important sentence that's delivered very simply, sometimes it's best to not even say "he stood there and said plainly." You just post the sentence, so it will stand out.


And mein gott this is long. I'll just end it on a personal trick of mine that you might not want to replicate because it makes my mother think I'm crazy... 

I play my dialogue scenes. As in, I say it out loud, playing the role of the character. It helps me discover if it needs exclamation points, trailing off, pauses or hesitations, if it needs a "he mused" or "he snapped" or "she laughed humorlessly". If it's a line that can be said while sitting, or if the character needs to be jumping on his feet and proclaiming it. 

It also helps me to make it sound natural... because as cool and witty as some sentences sound, it's just Not Possible to actually snap them naturally out loud. You trip on your tongue, you stammer, you forget the beginning of the sentence before arriving at the end it's so f** long, and then you feel like the fic isn't about two people having a real discussion, it's about the author sounding like they never had a real chat with anyone in their life.

Imagine you have two characters who were best of friends, but then something comes to light and they're absolutely furious at each other. They're having the row to end all rows; they're burning bridges right there. 

The more natural comeback isn't "And I believe that you are a rat-faced little twerp, and it's clearly obvious now that you have always been jealous of my natural talent. I can't believe I let you ride my coattails for so long without giving you the boot. Now begone!"

It's "Yeah, well, _fuck you_."

For one thing, even if they could think up the whole line in one go when they're that angry, the other guy is certainly not going to let them babble so long without interrupting them at the slightest breathing pause. Even if the exact sentences come to the character's mind, they won't be delivered that way.

"Oh my god, you're jealous, aren't you? You're totally jealous."
"How self-centered do you have to be to think I'm jealous of YOU?!"
"You're a rat-faced little twerp! I can't believe --"
"And you're a haughty _bitch_, is what you are!"
"--Can't believe I let you ride my coattails so long!"
"...Oh, I'll give you coattails, you little..."
"Get out! Get the hell out!"

The ideas the characters are trying to convey will probably come in short bursts, not in one long monologue. So unless your characters are known, one for his impeccable, witty delivery, the other for his doormat-ness or inability to punch people in the face or storm out, please abstain from "pwning" a character by giving the other guy some ten lines of Nothing But The Truth, Honey, which he takes, standing there like a moron. It's just bad writing.


... And. Uh. yeah. 

I think I'll let myself out now. >_>;;;;;;;;;;


----------



## KyodaixSensu (Jul 14, 2007)

Very nice writing tips x].


----------



## KyodaixSensu (Jul 14, 2007)

Very nice writing tips x].


----------



## Kyon (Jul 14, 2007)

Thank you, reiyel, but I am going to say something.

- He said, he yelled, etc.

Did you know that these words are actually usually glossed over while reading? While it is good to have variety once in a while, I advise to only do that when necessary. It can actually disrupt flow if you do it wrong.

- Vocabulary

Do note that your readers may not (and in all likelihood probably will not) share your vast vocabulary. Words such as capitulated probably will fly over the heads of 95% of readers, so in those cases it is better to go a little lower in the vocabulary chain, so to speak. It's nice to sound smart once in a while, but when it causes the reader to scratch their head in confusion, it's not a good idea.

Will add to the front once I have time. ^^


----------



## reiyel (Jul 14, 2007)

XD;;; Yeah. I might not have insisted enough on the "use them if they're meaningful, if not, don't use anything" part.

As for the vocabulary, "capitulate" isn't so hard, is it? O_o; Or maybe it's a more common word in French than it is in English. If a French reader didn't know what "capituler" means I'd probably tell them to come back when they're done with primary school. x__x;


----------



## Kyon (Jul 14, 2007)

Ah, you're French? That could explain it.

I need to get a couple placeholder posts so I can fit that in. ._.


----------



## RaiRyuu (Jul 14, 2007)

You're french? Salut, comment ca va? Ca fait du bien de rencontrer quelqu'un qui parle le fancais!! Je ne suis pas francais moi, mais c'est une de mes langue maternelle!


----------



## reiyel (Jul 14, 2007)

Kyon said:


> Ah, you're French? That could explain it.
> 
> I need to get a couple placeholder posts so I can fit that in. ._.



eep, sorry. XD;;;; Couldn't you just link to the post, with "some more babble that way, to take with a grain of salt" or something?

... That or I could try to summarize. How much would I have to cut, though... Probably most of it. XD;;;;


Salut! (-> 100% française de France, appellation contrôlée.)

C'est bizarre, j'ai pas l'habitude de parler français sur internet. Mes doigts tapent en anglais automatiquement, ca fait des typos intéressantes.


----------



## Vance (Jul 15, 2007)

The what with the what what?


----------



## VonDoom (Jul 15, 2007)

Honestly, I think you're killing yourself on the "grammar/punctuation" sections for nothing.  Strunk's  has everything you need.  It's simple, it's direct, and most importantly it's correct.  The site above doesn't even have pop-ups.  There isn't a better guide for the technical aspects of writing than that.

As for action/plot, a lot of that is a matter of personal preference.  What I've found overwhelmingly helpful is to read a lot.  Read the stuff you enjoy, read stuff you don't necessarily enjoy but is similar to what you want to write.  Get a feel for how different authors work their prose, pace their stories and flesh out their characters.  

Then write, write, WRITE.


----------



## RaiRyuu (Jul 15, 2007)

reiyel said:


> Salut! (-> 100% fran?aise de France, appellation contr?l?e.)
> 
> C'est bizarre, j'ai pas l'habitude de parler fran?ais sur internet. Mes doigts tapent en anglais automatiquement, ca fait des typos int?ressantes.



Oui, je sais, presque personne ne parle le francais sur internet...De toute facon, c'est un plaisir de faire ta/votre connaissance... 

Yeah, I'm babbling in french...Anyway, it's nothing important for those who don't get it and it's my last french post....maybe...


----------



## Cel3stial (Aug 14, 2007)

Kyon you douchebag....I like.....this thread is sexy....


----------



## b3y0nd (Aug 16, 2007)

*Angst Section suggestion.*

All right... I might just be able to help you with the section on Angst.

Now... the first rule that I use when writing about the form that is used properly in fics (the kind that makes you feel sorry for the character, instead of telling the author that he sucks) really only belongs in two situations.  

The first, and by far the most common, are deaths.  Now, this can only occur between people who know each other at least fairly well.  That's not to say that they have to like each other.  

I have seen (and even once written) a fic where it is actually possible to have Sasuke be angsty towards ITACHI, immediately after KILLING HIM, and not have it sound cheesy.  The basic rule of thumb is this:  if a person dies, will the other chararcter cry at his funeral.

This rules out all angst from characters who don't have the emotional depth to show it (Shino, Itachi, Orochimaru), but at the same time, singles out some other characters who will obviously have it at frequent intervals (Hinata, Naruto, Sasori (yes, you read it right.  He's just like that, somehow), and even Konohamaru).  

Of course, this rule does not apply to some people who have been so emotionally scarred that they don't show any emotion at all (Sasuke in particular).  When you get a person who isn't the crying type, think back to the time when the event that caused them to become the way they are occured. For example, IN CANON, you can see Sasuke crying after Itachi... well, you know.  However, Itachi will NEVER show angst, since he made himself the way he is, and didn't cry when it happened.

Now that we know who can show angst, we look at how to write it.

Naruto stood over the corpse.
He was sad.​
A classic tell instead of show.  Let's try again, shall we?

Naruto stood over the cold dead body.  A tear fell from his eye, falling slowly onto the corpse.​
Not as bad, but it just lacks that true feel.  Now... here's the secret.  Unlike in fight scenes, in an angst scene, the environment makes an enormous difference.  Write the scene almost like you're describing a screenplay for some cemetary scene, like at the end of Spiderman, or something.

So... here's shot # 3

The cold wind blew through Naruto's hair.  The world was plain and gloomy, reflected off the dull grey sky.  His eyes flickered down for a moment to the cold, dead body that lay silently on the ground in front of him.  For a moment his gaze met the man's eyes.  They were glazed over, the shine of life snuffed out.  Some promises were never meant to be kept.​
After the above, it's often appropriate to insert a flashback of some form, which relates to when Naruto felt an emotional bond toward the unnamed dead guy.  Do not, under any circumstances, introduce any form of quick paced arguments or action into this situation.  Disrupting someone who is being angsty is a big no-no.  I mean, even in Canon, the characters are allowed to pause in mid-fight to mourn or remember some dead guy, and get all sad, without interruption from their opponent.

Also, a good tip to boost your angsty-ness... crying doesn't necessarily improve a scenes angsty-ness level.  A real great scene to use is a funeral with only three or four people stading over a casket, and none of them show any emotion or say anything.  All you have to do is describe a bleak environment, and describe the characters thoughts and feelings (again, show and not tell.  Inner Monologue (italicized, as always) works great here.  

Also:  Don't include characters who couldn't give a crap about the dead person into an angst scene.  No one spoils a great scene like Leader, Shino, or Sai, who's thoughts mostly consist of _"I could care less that he/she is dead."_

And one final note:  These scenes are best used sparingly, and generally only toward the end of a fic.  You need to let your readers "bond" with a character before you use the scenes, or else they could care less about how the characters feel or react to an event.  Even if Leader kills off all of the Hyuuga, you can still only spare one or may'be two scenes before the concept starts to bore your audience.  A good rule of thumb is that any given event can cause 1 scene/chapter of Angst, at which point you then need 3-5 chapters of cooldown before another scene, even if the event that causes the angst is completely different.  Try to fill these chapters with fluff, action, or romance, since (if you wrote the agnst right), your readers will want an emotional uplifting.

Except for rare circumstances, Angst should be used only in multi-chapter fics at least 2000 words in length.  Otherwise, you won't have the aforementioned bonding time.

Yeah, that's just about it.


----------



## Shippingr4losers (Aug 27, 2007)

Thank You So much. I wrote a fanfic and pretty much only one person was reading and reviewing it. Thanks to you, I can write ACTION!


----------



## rifleman101 (Aug 30, 2007)

Even as much as i write, more of this stuff would be good.

My advice: Base your work off of what you know. For example, my strengths are dioloug and character development. My weakness is action and plot. Base your work on what your best side is, and always strive to improve your weakness.

Another thing, get a beta. No, it's not a fad. Some of us writers miss a lot when we write, and a critical eye is what some of us lack. This is why i NEED a beta, and again, thanks Lene for devoting your time.


----------



## yuri (Sep 29, 2007)

Yes this did help me.


----------



## Splendid_Scapegrace (Dec 15, 2007)

May I inquire as to why you believe you feel Alternate Universe should not be attempted unless you are an extreemely good writer? Because I personally feel that AU is the easiest way to start off. There are no fight scenes, and if you are still attending school, they are easier to relate to and therefore write. But that's just my opinion.

There are some really great tips in there. The fighting scene tips are going to help me with what I'm writing right now most, so thanks!
<3


----------



## Morphine (Dec 16, 2007)

Thank you all!This thread was very helpful!


----------



## DramaPoette (Dec 25, 2007)

If you want a little help with writing, I HIGHLY reccommend this site:



Even if you're a seasoned writer, sometimes it helps to go over things now and again. I love this site, it's very useful to go back and look at when I get off track or am out of practice.


----------



## KuyaCesar (Dec 27, 2007)

*Some good stuff*

You have a very good insight to writing stories. I could probably add a few things to your Plot part, just to jut out some things for our fellow fanfic writers..

*Plot*

The plot of the story is similar to a pyramid; it has both intense moments and chill moments as well. Obviously you cannot have an action fanfic with fighting throughout the story. There also has to be mild scenes. T

his is what makes up your plot, the ups and downs. There has to be some point in your story where you are introducing your plot, and there has to be some point in your story where it has to end. The *elements of a plot* are key things we need to know to construct a smooth and reasonable storyline. *Here are some of the important elements of a story*:

1. *Exposition.* To get your reader understand the plot, you have to introduce it. Your exposition is how the background of the story is conveyed, which can be done in a narrative, description, dialogue, or action. Doing this, you will be able to establish the story.

2. *Inciting Incident.* This is where you introduce the major conflict of the story. When making an action story, this could be in the form of a physical action, such as a fight. Writers use this to get the reader hooked up in the plot, and is refered to as the "foot" of your plot pyramid.

3. *Rising Action.* These are the series of events that lead up to the climax, which is the most important part of your story. Most of your story will consist of the rising action, because it is the meat of the story.

4. *Climax.* The climax is the most important part of the story; the turning point of your plot. This is what your inciting incident and rising action leads to. It's at the top of the pyramid, where the greatest danger will happen to your hero. 

5. *Falling Action.* When making a story, it has to start on one side and end at the other. The falling action leads to that end. It unravels the story and "solves the puzzle", which is the conflict. 

6. *The Resolution.* This is where the main character dies or where the villains are defeated. Its the end of the road. By this point you should have followed these plot elements and interlaced them correctly. Remember, a story only goes in one direction.


As I said earlier, there has to be ups and downs to your story. A *contrast* is needed to know which is which, and it also avoids your reader to get bored of your story. 

Sorry if my english and explanation is bad, but i just wanted to show these elements to have a basic idea of the structure of the story.


----------



## minimerc (Jan 28, 2008)

Wow. Nice guide ^^ I feel bad about the knocks on NaruHina fics though. Even if I agree with you to a certain degree

o_O I know people have said that grammar is not as important as an original plot, but that's not really true. I get turned off from fanfics right away when I see horrible grammar. A story cannot flow without good grammar.

Something that you might want to add a small thing about is the difference between:
Your and You're
-Your is a possessive pronoun for you. It is used like this: "your bike."
-You're is short for "you are." As in "You're in big trouble mister." or "You are in big trouble mister."

There, Their, and They're
-There (Too many things, so just follow the link please) 
-Their is the possessive pronoun for they. It is used like: "their house."
-They're is short for "they are." As in "They're at the mall." or "They are at the mall."

Basic, I know, but this is why many people lose points on the SATs. (I think my grammar was off in this post too... ah well)
~minimerc


----------



## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (May 11, 2008)

Interesting tips. x3


----------



## AnimeFreakTard (Jun 2, 2008)

*Great Tips...(Although they weren't that helpful to me) BTW both poll say YES and YES...u mite wanna fix that...(JK)*


----------



## Luftslott (Jul 29, 2008)

Great tips! Perfect for me who don't usually write in English.


----------



## Shawny (Aug 5, 2008)

*Minimerc *touched upon this a little bit with her post above.  But I'd like to see this added to the writing tips if possible:

Misuse of Common Homophones

A homophone is a word that sounds exactly like another word but has a different spelling or a different meaning.  For example, the words: to, too, and two are homophones.

This happens to be one of my pet peeves.  I see homophones misused in fanfics (and in writing in general) too often and it drives me crazy.  Not only does using the incorrect homophone add errors to your fanfic, it also disrupts the flow of the story for many people!

Examples of homophones:

weather vs. whether
steak vs. stake
vial vs. vile
break vs. brake
board vs. bored
pale vs. pail
waist vs. waste

I have seen all of the above (and more) used incorrectly in fanfics.

I recently read a Naruto lemon fanfic where the author used "waste" instead of "waist" throughout.  Do you have any idea how distracting that is?  Every time the male character reached out to caress her "waste" or when the female character undid the belt at his "waste" I wanted to laugh.  Here is a case where the author is attempting to build a sexy scene with hot foreplay, but the reader (me) is envisioning garbage and junk attached to these characters' bodies.  Not sexy at all!

_Please, please, please use the correct words in your fanfics!_

I don't want to laugh when Orochimaru has "vial" smirk on his lips because I'm envisioning tubes of glass glued to his face.

I don't want to laugh when Naruto's pitching a tent and drives a "steak" into the ground with excessive force because he's angry at Sasuke.

I don't want to laugh when a blush replaces Hinata's "pail" complexion whenever Naruto goes near her.  (Since when does Hinata have a bucket on her head?)

I mean, if you're writing comedy, that's fine.  But when you're writing a serious fic, don't use the wrong homophone!

Finally, the two words that are used incorrectly the most are:

accept vs. except

_Naruto paced nervously.  He had already decided to tell his closest friends the truth about the Kyubi.  He was only waiting for all of them to arrive at the Hokage's office.  Would they *accept* him after this?  He wanted to think positively.  He wanted to believe that they would treat him the same as before, *except* he knew better.  This would change everything._​
If you are at all uncertain whether or not you are using the correct homophone, please consult a dictionary.


----------



## Gecka (Aug 6, 2008)

Poor Kyon

I remember when he was active...

So nostalgic....


----------



## Caitlyn Jenner (Nov 20, 2008)

Vance said:


> So true/ It gives you excellent tips.



I miss Vance 



Gecka said:


> Poor Kyon
> 
> I remember when he was active...
> 
> So nostalgic....



This too


----------



## FonsEtOrigo (Jan 30, 2009)

this is really useful, if I got bothered I'd offer advice on Angst, I seem to be okay at it... I'd like to help others.


----------



## Gaawa-chan (Jan 30, 2009)

FonsEtOrigo said:


> this is really useful, if I got bothered I'd offer advice on Angst, I seem to be okay at it... I'd like to help others.



I love angst when it's well done.

My biggest problem is that I have no confidence in my writing skills whatsoever.

Anyway, I'll try and give some advice on angst...



> Angst
> n : an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety; usually reserved for philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal freedom.



In my own opinion, fanfiction is not particularly interesting if it does not contain either some amount of OoC-ness or interesting OCs of some kind, unless you're writing brainless smut, in which case... why are you here?  The problem with angst, particularly when writing for Naruto characters, is that half of them already ooze angst from every pore; Neji, Sasuke, Part 1 Gaara, etc.  It is- in my own opinion- more entertaining to focus on Naruto's angst than it is on Sasuke's, because such portrayals can give the reader a sense of, 'Been there, done that... booooring...' unless some other great conflict comes into play or you are working with unresolved issues.

All that said, here is a stereotypical 'how to' essay on fanfiction angst.  I suggest you read it and then ignore it, because it has a few good examples of what NOT to do with angst:

Pre-order Devil Summoner RK v KA and get a Raiho Plushie 

I disagree with this several of this person's points; it might have something to do with the fact that he encourages quoting from songs.  Ugh.  Don't do that, folks.


The deciding factors on how you portray angst in your story are reliant upon several factors, the most important of which are probably:

*The point of view.  The reader's perspective.
*The character that is experiencing angst.
*The circumstances surrounding said character's emotional plight.

Of the three, the one that strikes me as most important is the point of view.  If you are writing from the angst-plagued character's perspective, feel free to go all out with your angst.  There is little need to be subtle.

However, if you are writing from one character's perspective, and the angst-plagued character is not the focus, subtlety can be vital.  It is not if you are portraying someone like Sasuke, who has never been shy about being an angst-ridden wreck, but it is if you are doing so for Naruto, who always hides his pain behind those big grins.  It may have to be so subtle that there might only be the faintest of allusions to it before the plot strikes and all Hell breaks loose for our poor characters for it to work well.

Of course, this can only be applied if circumstances suit it.  While Naruto would hide his angst normally, circumstances may arise in a story that would make it appropriate to lay the angst on thick- troubles with the Kyubi being the obvious example.


Basically, when applying angst to a character, you need to think about the reader's perspective, how the chosen character would show/not show and cope/fail to cope with angst, how the angst will tie in with the plot, and how the plot will effect the characters.

In addition, when writing about any form of emotion- indeed, when writing about anything at all- consider the perspective and then choose your vocabulary accordingly.

If I am writing from Gaara's perspective, and he is thinking about... oh, I don't know, a tree?  he would NOT use words like 'emerald' to describe the tree.  Gaara does not waste his breath.  He would say 'green.'  However, if he was thinking about an abstract substance, like his bonds with his siblings, then he would start getting wordy.


Masashi Kishimoto's word choice is important to consider when writing about the emotions of the characters; while he will use unusual vocabulary when dealing with intellectual thoughts of the characters, his word choices for scenes between characters conveying emotions tend to be raw and powerful and simple- 'lost in the darkness,' 'cursed,' 'saved,' 'alone,' 'Hell...' In other words, he portrays what most people normally do when they are emotional and simplifies the language.  And this is one of the reasons why Kishimoto's angst is so very effective.  It is in his word choice and fluency.  His words are simple.  Powerful.  And they can make you empathize in a way that some wordy portrayals of emotion can't.



I doubt this will help anyone... well, I tried... sigh... I might write a better one on appropriate OoC-ness.


----------



## Table (Feb 4, 2009)

Oooh, good pointers.  I'm writing my first fanfiction (well, it was on hiatus for like 6 months, haha and I'm finally updating it now) but it seems so bland to me.  

I think I'm just going to write it, then when it's over, go back and rewrite it.  =/


----------



## Gaawa-chan (Feb 5, 2009)

Okay, let me share a few more of my thoughts...

Basic fanfiction writing/writing in general.

Firstly, you should all know these important elements- some people are going to groan at this post, I just know it...:

Ideas and Content.
Organization.
Voice.
Word Choice.
Sentence Fluency.
Conventions- this has already been covered.

However, I think that these are all secondary to the following:

Perspectives.
Plot- I'm not going to bother with this because someone else already did it.
Settings.
Character development/relationship development.
Themes.

Why is this? Because the plot and setting control the characters, and all three control the perspective.  Finally, themes tie your story up in a nice little bundle and give it meaning.  These elements are more important because the supposed true elements of writing are all directly affected by these.

Plot and Themes have control over Ideas and Content.
Plot, Settings, Perspectives control Organization.
Settings, Perspectives, Themes, and Character/Relationship Developments control Voice and Word Choice.
And all five affect Sentence Fluency.

In other words, you want to use the second group of elements to master the first group.


So, let's talk about Perspectives first.

Of all of the elements listed, Perspective, even more than Plot, affects the way the story is written.  First and third person perspectives are most common- I have never seen a story written in second person perspective.  Furthermore, Perspective depends upon the character/setting you are focusing on.
If you are writing in third person perspective, then leniency can be granted as far as word choice goes, but when writing in first person perspective, you've got to use words that the character telling the story would use.

Basically, you are very, very unlikely to see the words 'Naruto' and 'avaricious' anywhere near each other unless you are writing a 3rd person perspective battle scene between Naruto and Kakuzu for two reasons.  The first reason being that 'avaricious' would not be a good word to describe anyone in the series other than Kakuzu and the second reason being that I do not think that any of us can imagine Naruto thinking the word 'avaricious.'  Instead, he would use the term 'greedy as f***' or something like that. 

I suck at giving examples, so I'm going to spare you...


----------



## Gaawa-chan (Mar 2, 2009)

Next, settings.  SETTINGS ARE IMPORTANT.  I don't care if you think it is boring or you don't care about how high the cliff is or how cold the wind is or whatever, it is important, ESPECIALLY when writing a story that takes place in a world filled with shinobi- recall what Shikamaru said during his preliminary battle.  If a wise shinobi pays attention to his surroundings, then a wise writer writing ABOUT shinobi must take care to develop said surroundings.  This is especially important when writing about battles.

Because I hate writing in first person perspective and that would take forever to cover anyway, I'm not going to bother... suffice it to say that your word choice for describing surroundings when writing from Naruto's perspective will be completely different when writing from the perspective of someone more observant- like Temari, Kakashi, or Shikamaru.
Instead, I'm just going to go over basic rules you should follow when describing the setting.
*STAY AWAY FROM REPETITION.  Setting 'sets' the mood for events that take place.  You can't afford to make it boring, hard on the eyes, or ill-suited to the mood.
*If your characters are upset/distressed/brimming with testosterone, you've got to use vivid, varied vocabulary and sentence length as well as cutting the number of articles and commas/conjunctions you use.  Use apostrophes wherever you can.  Unless you're going for depicting emotional scenery, stay away from very lengthy sentences.
*If the setting is calm and tranquil, slow down and don't hesitate to get nice and wordy.  Make sure you are not solely describing the sight, but the sound and perhaps the smell, which- if anything- can be even more vivid... and usually more interesting.
*Setting includes time... which means it has direct influence on your plot, even more so than terrain in battle scenes.  If you want a good plot and setting, don't screw up your time-line.  Even the position of the sun- or the lack of sunlight altogether- can alter what the setting is like- this includes the mood- and what happens in the story- for example, in a fight, one might maneuver so that sunlight becomes a weapon against one's opponent.



Character Descriptions/Character Development/Relationship Development:


UNLESS YOU ARE DESCRIBING ORIGINAL CHARACTERS OR ARE HAVING CHARACTERS MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME, THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO WASTE YOUR READER'S TIME AND YOUR EFFORT ON DESCRIBING EXISTING CHARACTERS.
This is fanfiction, people.  Your readers know what Naruto looks like or they wouldn't be reading your fic... and you would know what Naruto looks like if you're writing about him.  So, no boorish descriptions of characters, I beg you.  Descriptions should focus on the surroundings, the emotions, and the glint of the poisoned senbon flying at Naruto's neck that he spots with his peripheral vision. 


Ahem... UNLESS YOU ARE DEVELOPING ORIGINAL CHARACTERS OR ARE WRITING AN AU FIC, THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO WASTER YOUR READERS' TIME AND YOUR EFFORT DEVELOPING ALL OF A CHARACTER'S PERSONALITY TRAITS.
Again... THIS. IS. FANFICTION! 
Your readers know that Naruto is an obnoxious, not particularly intelligent, charismatic, neglected, co-dependent, empathetic boy with some outrageous goals- or at least they should. 
Rather, focus on how the plot/setting of your story effects what is already there instead of rehashing what we already know.  That is boring and inefficient, but it's done so often it makes me want to bash my head in.
There is an exception to all of this, and it is when a character is reflecting/talking about someone.  Other than that, stay away from this.


And I'll hit you with caps lock once more... UNLESS YOU ARE DEVELOPING THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS WITH OTHERS OR WRITING AN AU FIC, THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO WASTE YOUR READERS' TIME AND YOUR EFFORT REHASHING ALL OF THE VARIOUS ASPECTS OF THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN CHARACTERS.
Your readers know that Naruto considers Sasuke to be his rival and best friend.  They know that Shikamaru and Choji are best buds.  And believe it or not, they also know why.  Give your readers some credit.
Again, unless a character is reflecting/talking about their relationship with another character, you have no reason to restate what has already been stated in the original series.
Focus on how the plot/setting of your story effects what is already there instead of rehashing what we already know.


When developing characters/relationships that have already been developed, it is extremely important to have an in-depth understanding of said characters/relationships beforehand, and then picture what they would do when placed in your plot-line/setting.  If you want your fic to be taken seriously or be even remotely realistic, this is a necessity.
Obviously, you have more leniency with original characters.  However, original characters should ALMOST NEVER be the focus of your stories because if people were interested in your characters, why would they be reading FANFICTION?
Note that I said 'almost.'  If you feel your character is INTERESTING enough- not 'good,' because 'good' is always a matter of personal taste, but INTERESTING, then you can pull off giving them better roles in the plot.

More importantly, you must consider how your original character and the already existing characters will interact with each other in a realistic way.  For example, Naruto, who has always had a crush on Sakura, is very unlikely to ditch her for your character right off the bat.  An extreme example, but seriously.  Come on.

And I hate to do this to those of you not interested in yaoi, but for goodness' sake, people, if you are going to make Naruto interested in males in your fanfic, make him bisexual. Please? 
At least TRY to be realistic... sigh... oh, and keep in mind that only about 5% (on average) of all people are gay, which means that there are at best- including all FILLER characters, females, males, ANIMALS, etc (in the series)- less than 19 homosexual characters.  That said, about the same percentage of people are truly heterosexual, and the majority of people in the world are varying degrees of bisexual- usually leaning far to the heterosexual side. 
Please keep this information in mind if you are trying to develop romantic relationships between characters.  Please.

Obviously, this is an extremely important part of fanfiction since most fanfiction revolves around romance between to characters... as such, one can only give so much advice as each relationship between characters is different, so... I'm going to stop here.  You should know what the pairing you're depicting is about, so take literary advice in addition to your knowledge and apply them both to your writing.



Themes.
)

By all that is holy, if your fic is brainless and without a theme, you might as well throw it in the trash.  The same thing could be applied to every piece ever written.  Without a theme or themes, without a POINT, it is GARBAGE.
Got that?
I don't care what your theme is.  I don't care if it's been done a thousand thousand times before.  Your story needs a theme.  Yes, even your slash one-shot needs a theme.  NEEDS IT.  It doesn't even have to be obvious- it could be that your theme revolves around the perversion of the human psyche.  It could be a theme that is already dealt with in the series you're basing your story off of.  I don't care.
Marvin K. Moonie, will you please put a theme- preferably several deep and meaningful, moving themes- in your story before I beat your ass and then rip your story to pieces?! 
I defy a single person to name a single literary masterpiece that does not contain one theme within its pages.
Even Naruto- the series- is all about themes, making it all the more important for you to have themes in your fanfic.

I can't really tell you how to incorporate themes into your story.  Properly applied to a plot, they should just... flow in with your writing.  Themes should probably be implied rather than outright stated, though there are some exceptions- think Moulin Rouge, lol.  Your readers should get an underlying feeling of meaning beneath your piece.  A feeling of emotion and depth and importance.  If you can achieve that, then your fic is made.  If you can work themes into your story on top of everything else, you've made a jewel amongst fanfiction and I guarantee your story will charm birds out of the trees.


----------



## The Breaker (Apr 30, 2009)

Quotation Marks and Paragraphs
 Billy-Bob-Joe-Henry-Samson must. For his sake.

but it lacks hatred. 

Haha! this is very funny. Definetly well thought out and helpful!

Thanks alot.


----------



## Cardboard Tube Knight (Apr 30, 2009)

The writing club is going to need to link to this


----------



## justanotherGai (May 3, 2009)

I just want to repeat what others have said before me, get a beta reader to fix the most glaring problems with plot and characterisation.  A good beta can help you with brainstorming, and might very well spare your feelings - getting flamed to a crisp on ff.net for posting some atrocity is not a good fandom experience.  And that is what ficwriting is all about.

When I started writing, I also found that betaing was a great way to improve my own writing.  Something in this story doesn't work, what exactly is it?  This doesn't sound right, what's wrong?  It makes you look at your own fics in a different light, and improve your writing overall.


----------



## JNottle (May 11, 2009)

Who is Arashi Kazama? I see his name a lot and have never heard of him.


----------



## Saturnine (May 31, 2009)

Some fine insight, mr Kyon. I've been thinking about these things and coming to similar conclusions as yourself. I will probably take a shot at writing Naruto fan fiction, but that would be helluva difficult, since English isn't even my native language. But this article's quite encouraging. Thanks a bunch.


----------



## RandomAnbu (Jun 19, 2009)

JNottle said:


> Who is Arashi Kazama? I see his name a lot and have never heard of him.



I believe that's the name that fans gave the Fourth Hokage before his real name was revealed. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



Kamikaze Minato, or Namikaze Minato for some translators.


----------



## roseofversailles (Oct 14, 2009)

I seem to see a lot of this type of thing in fics. (This is an example):

The yellow haired genin looked over at the dark haired Uchiha. 
"Where are you going? Can I come?" The blonde asked him. 
"No," Replied the dark eyed one.
"Are you sure?" Said the orange-jumpsuited boy.
"Yes," Confirmed the blue T-shirted boy.
"Oh." Replied the whisker-marked genin as the moody avenger left the room. The kyuubi bearer sighed and returned to thinking about the pink-haired girl. He hoped the jade-eyed medic would go on a date with him.

End quote.
(story is deliberately crap)

It's so confusing to see characters being refered to in a million different ways. Refer to your character with one name, two at most! Maybe different ones depending on which character is thinking about them, but don't differentiate between 20 different names from sentence to sentence...please...

If it is from a characters pov, think about what they would call that other character in their mind. Would Naruto really call Sasuke, in his head, the 'Dark-haired Uchiha'? Or would he call him 'Sasuke'? Or 'Bastard' if he was angry maybe? Do you think of your friends, in your head, as 'that brown eyed accountant' or by their name?
If a character knows another characters name, they will use it in their heads.


----------



## Maerala (Oct 14, 2009)

This takes me back to my Inquiry Skills class last year. Good times...

Also, it refreshed my memory greatly, and I even learned a thing or two the teacher might've omitted, or I was probably just sleepin'.

Thank you. Very helpful.


----------



## fira252 (Oct 15, 2009)

JNottle said:


> Who is Arashi Kazama? I see his name a lot and have never heard of him.


It use to be the name people used for the fourth before we learned his name 'Minato Namikaze'


----------



## South of Hell (Nov 24, 2009)

This should really help. I'm pretty much a closet writer and hav't posted anything online. In my stories I have written on paper, I normally just do a basic outline of fights to get the plot down and just go on from there. This should help considerably.


----------



## Erendhyl (Nov 25, 2009)

Very nice thread. I'd like to contribute a little more to it, though there was very little that's been unaddressed.

As an author of _fan_fiction, you shouldn't spend too much time establishing the bonds between characters. (Unless, of course, you're rewriting the canon timeline and the the bonds your writing about haven't developed yet.) However, that doesn't mean that you should go to the opposite extreme end and leave out any bonds besides the bare basics. "Naruto and Sasuke are rivals. Kakashi was Naruto's teacher. Sasuke wants to kill Itachi." That's just as bad, especially because all those relationships are much more complex than just that. Naruto and Sasuke are rivals, but they're also best friends. They don't hate each other, and you need to include moments showing that they care about each other in addition to the moments that show their rivalry. Similarly, Sasuke may live to kill Itachi, but if you're focusing on that relationship you need to remember that Itachi used to be his idol. It's extra facets like that that make these bonds interesting. Even if we've already read the manga, the bonds shown between the characters shouldn't be ignored.

You can show a lot just through what other characters refer to each other as. If Orochimaru is thinking about Sasuke, it can say a lot about their relationship to have him refer to Sasuke as "the Uchiha" or "the Sharingan bearer" (or variants of those names) occasionally. If Sakura expresses concern for Tsunade, having Sakura call her "shishou" or "master" can go a long way towards making that concern feel personal. Like roseofversailles said on the last page though, don't go overboard and never use the actual names of the characters. When speaking, they'll normally refer to each other by name, unless the Akatsuki members are talking to each other about one of the Jinchuuriki. Little things like that can go a long way towards making it feel like there are bonds in this world besides Naruto and Sasuke's or Naruto and Jiraiya's or Sasuke's and Itachi's. Even if bonds like Tsunade and Sakura's aren't the focus of your story, you should still show evidence of them if the characters interact.


----------



## Tobi-chan (May 14, 2010)

Great thread. Lovely read. I have a suggestion to all aspiring writers: find places whose sole purpose is to tear apart fanfiction. On LJ, that's places like fanficrants, badfic_quotes or FFANBU (a Naruto-specific sporking community). There's even weepingcock for those more pornographically inclined.

Even in this forum, there's threads like "What do YOU hate the most in fanfiction". I'd suggest a read through of that.

See, any place where there's a forum of discussion about what sucks in fanfiction, you can get an idea of what you really shouldn't be doing -- and you can avoid being completely swayed by biased opinion, since other people will be offering comments.

Also: find some excellent fanfiction, and read it, even if it isn't in your comfort zone. An open mind can lead you to learning some fabulous story telling techniques.


----------



## Cardboard Tube Knight (May 14, 2010)

God no! You've breached the Fifth Seal!!!!


----------



## Tobi-chan (May 14, 2010)

Who? What? When? Where?


----------



## Dejablue (Jul 17, 2010)

Could there be a little more fleshing out in regards to what common cliches are in Naruto fanfiction?  I'd really like to know so that I don't fall into that pit.


----------



## GoodBandits (Aug 5, 2010)

Hey, can you read my piece of fiction I started out...It's had zero response in reviews and I was actualy quite surprised, I thought I'd really outdone myself in writing this;




Check it out?


----------



## Soul (Aug 14, 2010)

Thanks Kyon, I will keep this in mind 
I am looking forward to the last topics {Cliche, dialogue and Miscellaneous}.


----------



## Yoshimi25 (Aug 16, 2010)

Pakapaws and Mano said:


> Hey, can you read my piece of fiction I started out...It's had zero response in reviews and I was actualy quite surprised, I thought I'd really outdone myself in writing this;
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I did.  I left a review.  I liked it.  A lot.  Actually, I would like to feature it in an upcoming issue of my ezine, Underground, though will only do so with your permission.  I'll send you a PM with details.


----------



## Kryptic (Dec 17, 2010)

Questions:
I got this plot down. Like all in my head; I even "played" a few of the scenes, and everyone sort of clicks together. I attempted to do a plot outline, but then got bored because I wanted to really start the writing. Would you suggest the outline, or just start writing (problem with that is writers block  )?

Also, how would you define an effective "summary"? This fic is for ff.net, and they have limited character space for the summary. Basically it has to be abrupt, intriguing (sp? xP), and instantly grab any reader's attention...

~BTW, I agree with the grammar and Mary-Sues, and the writing section. That is entirely necessary. Some of the advice however seems to be based on your own opinion. I personally like AUs better, because, well, it's FANFICTION. Meaning you can write whatever the fuck you want.  It's all about imagination, and if it sucks you just won't get any readers -shrug-. Just make sure you don't make the characters seem annoyingly OOC, because, most likely, it will annoy about 98% of the readers. Just saying ^^

Truth and Dare annoys the crap out of me though.


----------



## jackdone (Dec 21, 2010)

Everything can be done in a decent fanfic where the author is hard enough on it. The only problem is that all turth or dare fics or similar originaliy really missing, so the premise. I mean something you can develop the depth of history dare and is a bit lame, in my opinion.


----------



## CandleGuy (Jan 3, 2011)

Hey those of you who write action scenes how do you deal with the power scaling in the manga?

For example SM Naruto can pretty much slaughter almost anyone with one blow because of his massive strength. SM Naruto also has a significant amount of speed and durability. I know people hate "God-Mode" characters in fanfiction. But Naruto as he is currently in the manga is pretty damn close to God Mode and I'm finding writing fight scene for him difficult. (Since the time line to my thing takes places after the war I'll have to deal with RS Naruto as well)

My question is how do you tackle the fights with the top tier characters? Do you nerf Naruto's strength. Create enemies just as strong as he is? Handicap him all the time. 

Actually I'd take any tips you have on fighting scenes/action scenes. They're currently the bane of my existence.


----------



## Cardboard Tube Knight (Jan 3, 2011)

CandleGuy said:


> Hey those of you who write action scenes how do you deal with the power scaling in the manga?
> 
> For example SM Naruto can pretty much slaughter almost anyone with one blow because of his massive strength. SM Naruto also has a significant amount of speed and durability. I know people hate "God-Mode" characters in fanfiction. But Naruto as he is currently in the manga is pretty damn close to God Mode and I'm finding writing fight scene for him difficult. (Since the time line to my thing takes places after the war I'll have to deal with RS Naruto as well)
> 
> ...



Part of the reason I just can't write anime action in fan fiction is that it rarely makes logical sense from a power standpoint, I don't know many people who do write action in that way but I would say that you shouldn't just nerf him without good reason that makes sense with the plot. 

Problem is, that most of these characters were given stupidly broken abilities and they use them badly in the manga.


----------



## Amrun (Jan 3, 2011)

CandleGuy said:


> Hey those of you who write action scenes how do you deal with the power scaling in the manga?
> 
> For example SM Naruto can pretty much slaughter almost anyone with one blow because of his massive strength. SM Naruto also has a significant amount of speed and durability. I know people hate "God-Mode" characters in fanfiction. But Naruto as he is currently in the manga is pretty damn close to God Mode and I'm finding writing fight scene for him difficult. (Since the time line to my thing takes places after the war I'll have to deal with RS Naruto as well)
> 
> ...



It is really tough.  I try to do a combination of enemies as strong as he is (though that is kind of limited to canon enemies, since his power level is so high) and nerfing him in realistic ways, ie he can't fight full power because of possible collateral damage, or emotional block, etc.  You can sometimes get away with an original character that isn't that strong but has an ability that is a specific counterpart to Naruto's, but as Naruto gets stronger and stronger the potential for this decreases.

In my own stories, I tend to do more of a political enemy or large-scale group of enemies, so it's not like person x v. person y.

Another solution is to write about characters less affected by the power scaling, like Kakashi.


----------



## CandleGuy (Jan 3, 2011)

Amrun said:


> It is really tough.  I try to do a combination of enemies as strong as he is (though that is kind of limited to canon enemies, since his power level is so high) and nerfing him in realistic ways, ie he can't fight full power because of possible collateral damage, or emotional block, etc.  You can sometimes get away with an original character that isn't that strong but has an ability that is a specific counterpart to Naruto's, but as Naruto gets stronger and stronger the potential for this decreases.
> 
> In my own stories, I tend to do more of a political enemy or large-scale group of enemies, so it's not like person x v. person y.
> 
> Another solution is to write about characters less affected by the power scaling, like Kakashi.



Thanks

I think I will have to use multiple enemies against Naruto for the story until the big bad does his thing. The story is mostly about Sakura, but a one on one came up for Naruto and I was finding it pretty hard to get through.

Oh and I might as well ask about techniques for the enemies. Do you simply play with stuff already established in the manga or do you try your hand at creating new jutsu?


----------



## -Shen- (Jan 4, 2011)

Good and useful thread for a newbie writer


----------



## Amrun (Jan 4, 2011)

CandleGuy said:


> Oh and I might as well ask about techniques for the enemies. Do you simply play with stuff already established in the manga or do you try your hand at creating new jutsu?



I do a combination.  I use established jutsus and variations of those, but I also use my own inventions a lot.

Each person's jutsu should be individualized as he or she would develop as a fighter.  Variations of established jutsu are the easiest and less of a stretch for the reader, but I use original stuff as well.  Just think about backgrounds and stuff even if it's fodder.


----------



## Dejablue (Jan 15, 2011)

I wonder if I should just create a new topic for this, but I need help with creating a believable bad guy.  In a world like Naruto where the good guys have enough power to nerf everyone else on the planet it feels daunting/near impossible to create a bad guy who can be considered a legit threat but not sink into the God Mode pit. 

Sometimes I just want to ignore certain aspects of canon. That would make my life easier and its not like my story is beating on the canon path anyway.  Its an AU/ "What If" fic nestled in the 2 1/2 year gap between Part 1 and Part 2 and having little to nothing to do with Naruto himself.  

My "bad guy" doesn't want to take over the world but he might unwittingly open the flood gates for different threats to hit Konoha.


----------



## Cardboard Tube Knight (Jan 15, 2011)

Dejablue said:


> I wonder if I should just create a new topic for this, but I need help with creating a believable bad guy.  In a world like Naruto where the good guys have enough power to nerf everyone else on the planet it feels daunting/near impossible to create a bad guy who can be considered legitimate threat but not be called a god mode sue himself.
> 
> Sometimes I just want to ignore certain aspects of canon. That would make my life easier and its not like my story is beating on the canon path anyway.  Its an AU/ "What If" fic.  My "bad guy" doesn't want to take over the world but he might unwittingly open the flood gates for different threats to hit Konoha.



Simple. Just make your bad guy some kind of god or demon, people have a harder time calling out godmode when it is a god.


----------



## Dejablue (Jan 15, 2011)

If only it were that simple.  But I can't do that. I've already established that he's human.


----------



## lusterclaw (Feb 21, 2011)

whats up with the 2 yes's in the poll option


----------



## Arinna (Feb 21, 2011)

> NOTE: Please, please, please take into account the difference between it's and its. It's is an abbreviated version of it is. There is a missing letter - hence the apostrophe. Its is a possessive pronoun - which doesn't need an apostrophe any more than the other possessive pronouns do (e.g. ours, yours, hers, his).
> 
> Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in it's mouth.
> This sentence reads: "Akamaru saw the other dog with the bone in it is mouth." It doesn't make sense.
> ...



This bit helped me a little


----------



## Divi (Feb 21, 2011)

Great tips! I wish it were mandatory for anyone on FF to read.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2011)

We need to combine this with the cliche list threads and then have it stickied.


----------



## L7997 (Mar 17, 2011)

characters are dynamic. as long as the process of their growth/change is shown well it will most likely not interfere with the readers connection to the actual character in the manga (unless the reader is special. in other words, the reader has a definite view on the character's traits).
so Hinata need not be the same Hyuuga Hinata in Naruto. you can make it work. it is fanfiction after all.

every writer needs to know how to keep the readers attention from straying too far. do not bore us to death with stale sentences. You need sentence variation. This is like speaking with high and low tones. So the length of your sentences must vary. the words you choose must vary.

and cut the fat. don't be afraid of cutting out sentences you have fallen head over heels for (oh you know... the ones you worked soooo fkn hard on).


----------



## KameoDash (Apr 16, 2011)

This helped me so much!!!
Thanks a lot


----------



## StoneCliff (Aug 1, 2011)

I would like to comment about Mary Sues. 

Although Mary Sues are usually shown as being good at everything, there are different types of them.

Having a character being bad at everything is just as boring as having them be good about everything, there needs to be a mixture.


----------



## CandleGuy (Sep 10, 2011)

Dejablue said:


> If only it were that simple.  But I can't do that. I've already established that he's human.



Coincidentally enough I am going through the same troubles


----------



## droidsteel (Sep 24, 2011)

Mostly good.... but hinata is weak WTF!?!?

In both her fights her mental strength has ascended those of the rest of the cast...

Plus shes a sodding ninja.... so physically weak? WTF OP?


----------



## Moka (Sep 24, 2011)

Thank You For the useful information,


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 21, 2012)

After having had to clarify this to some of my readers before, I would just like to make something known.

The placement of commas in and around speech marks is different based on the location in which it is taught.

As far as I'm aware, in American schools, a comma at the end of a spoken piece is always inside the speech marks. Example:



> "I don't believe you," he said, disdain evident in his tone...



However, in English schools (where I learned the basics of my literacy skills), a comma is placed outside the speech marks. Using the previous example:



> "I don't believe you", he said, disdain evident in his tone...



The latter is how I write, as it's how I was taught, just as how the former method is the primary American method. I, personally, will not change this in my own works, but I felt it was worth noting to anybody who thinks an author has their comma placements wrong.


----------



## Nehasharma (Feb 29, 2012)

Hi friends I am new here. I have seen your post about writing tips. Its really really fantastic tips. thanks to sharing.


----------



## TeamSenju (Mar 15, 2012)

Thanks so much for this. I can't believe I didn't read it sooner! The comma part helped, I was always the type to think "You just put commas... you know... where they look good." LOL I never even stopped to think of a grammatical justification for them...

I couldn't agree more on OCs. I never insert OCs unless 100% necessary because even when OCs are good there are just tooooo many bad ones out there that have destroyed the OC name for all internet eternity. 

It was all great, I hope you finish it eventually. Even if you are generally aware of all of these it's still great to refresh your memory, and double-check that you are not making one of the mistakes in a current story.


----------



## Von Kreuz (Apr 12, 2013)

I have to say that also helps me a lot. And to tell it in my mother tongue: Herzlichen Dank 


If many of the writers I have seen on the ff-site would use that guide and think about what they want... we might would have some better stuff out there 

Maybe I will check the cliche thread. There is something I want to build up and I don't want to use things that are dead then dead... or simple so stupid that my balls might fall off. 


I also apologize for my slight cursing. I will try to keep it on a moderate level. 



A question to some of the action based stuff. I know that action scenes can also be written for mostly everything. I hint to action under the belt line. Can the rules that is mentioned here also be crafted for creating of smut? I am curious, as a former smut writer myself I have some unique ways to work scenes up, but I am still a novice in the area and I want to improve my way of writing


----------



## Red Raptor (Jun 11, 2013)

I like this section. Had fun reading it, even though I teach the language LOL 

Keep up the good work!


----------



## skywardstrike (Sep 2, 2013)

Ok, i needed this...a lot. So thank you.


----------

