# Dealing with different IQ levels



## Kiseki (May 23, 2019)

Hi all!

So it can't be just me, but sometimes you notice quite a gap in intellect capabilities between you and the person you're speaking with. Whether they are your fam, your friend or a contact through school/work etc.

People always admire smart individuals, but do people actually realize how lonely and depressing having a higher IQ actually is? There's plenty of studies regarding the stress people of higher intelligence have, actually.

I wonder if any of you guys can relate to having to feel cautious when speaking to people of a lower IQ. Like.. the ones that are the smartest of their family or the smartest of their group of friends, etc. How often does it frustrate you? Are there tricks to overcome the difference or to avoid getting frustrated?

Made this thread, because I need help and I need people I can relate to ;~;

Reactions: Like 1


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## Ashi (May 24, 2019)

Im still on the fence about the idea that people who are "too smart" get depressed by it, to me it's just a matter of perspective

With that said, I dont consider myself among the smarter members of any of my circles but I often avoid situations where the other party is unlikely to change their perspective cause I know I wont either


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## Worm Juice (May 24, 2019)

I never have such troubles 

Luckily the smart peoples I know don’t have those troubles with me so everything is timmmmeeehhhh


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## Nep Nep (May 24, 2019)

It's called maturity. If your IQ is that high, then climb above your frustration. 

Now don't get me wrong, there's some PAINFULLY stupid people out there but most people of average intelligence are alright. Just skip political/religious/philosophical conversation if you're tired of trite responses.


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## Kiseki (May 24, 2019)

Nep Nep said:


> It's called maturity. If your IQ is that high, then climb above your frustration.
> 
> Now don't get me wrong, there's some PAINFULLY stupid people out there but most people of average intelligence are alright. Just skip political/religious/philosophical conversation if you're tired of trite responses.


You entirely missed the point. Smart people tend to get A LOT, while the other way around people not always get THEM. So its not that they can do anything MORE other than trying to explain yourselves in a different manner, etc.

Smarter people are sometimes interested in more deeper stuff than the average people and I think we all know this is true. Things that I can't understand or feel like are too heard for me to learn about is something I might try once and then give up on. And I kind of feel for people who are way smarter than me, who are into way deeper stuff. They have like 2/10 friends to talk with about that stuff. If they'd try to talk to me about it they'd make me dizzy or more me despite me trying to really listen. We've all been through these moments.

Feelings vs Intelligence is a tricky thing. People not being able to understand you can be super lonely and thus depressing to some. I'm glad if anyone's smarter friends are just fine, but also remember that smarter people can also pretend very well that they're fine because they studied well on what 'happy' behavior is portrayed like. People who have a higher IQ than EQ tend to reply on studying others to make it logic for themselves. I always find myself doing this, personally. Anyone who'd meet me for the first time would not notice anything about my depression. And even after 4 years they'd still not notice.

If we were to skip our interests 8/10 times then we'd have no quality in friendships. Its key to find some friends on the same level for that reason. I'm okay with having a few less smart friends, but I coudn't be around them 24/7. Either one of both parties would get frustrated.


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## Grinningfox (May 24, 2019)

Sigh


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## Atlantic Storm (May 24, 2019)

It's true that intelligence can often lead to one feeling isolated from the people around them. Speaking as someone who used to have a very high view of his intellectual capabilities in comparison to those of his peers, I think I can relate to how you feel. Even now, there are still times where my arrogance creeps up on me and makes me feel like the person I'm talking to isn't worth the time or energy. Having said that, I'm generally in a much more mentally and spiritually healthy place than I used to be, so I _might _be qualified to give some advice.

The bad news is that there's no 'trick' to getting over it. You can use certain conversational techniques to avoid situations that might frustrate you, but that doesn't fix the real issue. It probably won't do much in the way of helping you become a happier and more balanced individual, either, if you're interested in that.

The good news is that overcoming, or at least managing, these feelings is relatively simple—if you allow it to be. In my opinion, @Ashi wasn't completely off the mark when he said that this is all just a matter of perspective. Sure, it's easy to feel isolated or sad when you feel like you intellectually dominate the other person you're speaking to, but what does 'intelligence' really even mean in this context? One of the realities I had to confront on my journey (God, that sounded so _pretentious_) is that even if I feel like I'm smarter than someone, this doesn't—and rarely—necessarily means that I am their unequivocal intellectual superior. I've got friends I can debate circles around in almost every single subject, but they'll decimate me in certain other topics. Alleviating the feeling of isolation and the dark contempt that clouded a lot of my perception, for me at least, was just realising that I'm not really _that_ superior to all my peers, even if the idea of it appealed to my ego.

Most people aren't so intelligent that they exist in a completely different dimension to those around them. No offence, but I don't think you're an exception to that rule.

As for people not 'getting' you... well, that's a tricky thing that might be less due to gaps in intellect and more to do with people just being people. Finding someone who 'gets' you on an intellectual level isn't hard to find unless you're some kind of super genius, and a lot of the time it's just a matter of internal and external perspective. From what I know of you, and what I'm reading here, your issue seems to be more related to personality. Not yours, per se, but finding someone who can relate to your experiences and understand your perspective. While those two things _are _sometimes related to your intelligence, that doesn't seem to be the case here and I would say that viewing your perspective as an objective standard of intellect isn't very healthy and may be contributing to your problem by obfuscating the real issue.

I have no real advice to give you with regards to that, except to maybe just learn to enjoy interactions for what they are rather than worrying about whether or not they understand you. This is easier said than done and is heavily dependent on mindset, but the fact is, most people rarely perfectly understand the person they're talking to, and a lot of the time the perception of understanding is just a simulation of the real thing.

Hope that helps.

Reactions: Like 4


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## Island (May 24, 2019)

IQ is a meme and people who flaunt their IQ likely don't have a good understanding of what it actually means.

IQ in general is statistically reliable. That is, you're going to get the same IQ over and over, no matter how many times you take the test.

It's also has high predictive validity for academic and job performance.

But.

For the average person, it's not a very useful metric and really just a stand in for "I think I'm smarter than you." That's not a good way to think. Somebody might not have the same critical thinking skills, and, yeah, there are people out there who really are dumb, but I don't think it's healthy to boil a person down to whether they can do a logic test.

Reactions: Like 3


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## Buskuv (May 24, 2019)

I'm having this experience right now.


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## Nighty the Mighty (May 24, 2019)

listen kid if you didn't get >138 on the mensa.com online IQ test don't even talk to me


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## JoJo (May 24, 2019)

imagine thinking u have high iq but not actually being intelligent enough to solve this simple problem


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## Lurko (May 24, 2019)

If the person is so smart than they should know how to deal with this like my cousin and her friends.


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## Nep Nep (May 25, 2019)

Atlantics response is all you need.


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## Magic (May 25, 2019)

Buskuv said:


> I'm having this experience right now.


best post itt


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## Francyst (May 25, 2019)

My siblings are incredibly stupid. When we aren't casually talking I usually don't respond to their cues or just say "okay" to everything


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## The Gr8 Destroyer (May 26, 2019)

The fact you can not relate to people you consider less intelligent kinda shows your social intelligence is average to subpar. I am curious in which capacity do you consider yourself above average intelligence? Science, math, language, music, athleticism, social, or some other standard?


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## Cheeky (May 28, 2019)

I too enjoy _Rick & Morty_, OP.


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## Jim (May 31, 2019)

I've talked to people with lower intelligence and IQ all the time
They usually think i'm stupid and/or mentally retarded. Literally.


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## El Hit (Jun 1, 2019)

LMAO at this thread just fucking lol

Reactions: Like 1


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## JJ Baloney (Jun 4, 2019)

Kiseki said:


> I need people I can relate to


It won't be with anyone because they are not here to strike your ego.


Jim said:


> I've talked to people with lower intelligence and IQ all the time
> They usually think i'm stupid and/or mentally retarded. Literally.


They can't have a lower intelligence and IQ if they think you like that.


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## Jim (Jun 6, 2019)

Wrecked Baloney said:


> They can't have a lower intelligence and IQ if they think you like that.


why not? I'd go as far as to say it's probably more common than not.


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