# would you be okay with your wife/husband have a friend of the opposite gender?



## MO (Nov 16, 2017)

so for the guys would you mind if your wife had a male friend and for the ladies would you mind if you husband had a female friend?


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## White Wolf (Nov 16, 2017)

It's something I've had a lot of experience with, it's tricky, obvious friendship is whatever... things are clear cut, but when it's friendship on or off the backbone of a relationship then it's like eh  but even that comes in waves. I've stayed friendly-ish with some exes and there's not much tension there, but when there is oh boy. 

So I guess in essence for me at least, it depends on the situation and the type of friendship and the story around it. Cos some friendships are... much more than friendship.

Reactions: Agree 2


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## John Wick (Nov 16, 2017)

No issue, since I've got friends that are women.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Aduro (Nov 16, 2017)

If you can't stand the idea of the person you love getting some joy or an emotional connection with someone with the opposite gender then you have some major trust issues which are likely to fuck up the relationship anyway. Or you're a boyfriend in a 90s sitcom.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 6 | Winner 2


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## Itachі (Nov 16, 2017)

Of course. It's unreasonable to expect your partner to only make friends with their own gender. I see the whole thing as nonsensical honestly, men and women can be friends without wanting to fuck. If you're insecure to the point where you think your partner is going to cheat if they're in contact with the opposite sex then that's a huge problem. Everybody has their insecurities but you can't enforce them on your partner. I've known girls who are open with their insecurities and try to work through it but I've also known those who just act as if their insecurity is something which doesn't have any negative effects.


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## Sassy (Nov 17, 2017)

Of course I would be ok, there would be no issue with it they have every right to hangout or have any friendship with any gender they choose to let alone the opposite one just as I have every right to hangout who I want to hangout or befriend with. I wouldn't see an issue unless a situation arises to where it becomes an issue if that makes sense, otherwise they have every right to hangout or befriend who they want regardless of gender.


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## A Optimistic (Nov 17, 2017)

I hope my girl has some male friends that she can go chat with, so she can leave me alone when I want to browse NF/use social media peacefully. Sometimes I just need some alone time and I value it a lot.


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## NO (Nov 17, 2017)

Itachі said:


> I see the whole thing as nonsensical honestly, men and women can be friends without wanting to fuck.


I actually radically disagree with the variation of this statement that is explicitly about a straight male and female. I have been able to debunk every straight situation of “we’re just opposite gender friends” that I’ve ever encountered. There’s always a sexual facet. 

Whether you act on it sexually is the important part. Most people do not and most people will even fully deny having a sexual interest in their “friend” to perpetuate this myth.

Reactions: Agree 2 | Neutral 1


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## Itachі (Nov 17, 2017)

jayjay³² said:


> I actually radically disagree with the variation of this statement that is explicitly about a straight male and female. I have been able to debunk every straight situation of “we’re just opposite gender friends” that I’ve ever encountered. There’s always a sexual facet.
> 
> Whether you act on it sexually is the important part. Most people do not and most people will even fully deny having a sexual interest in their “friend” to perpetuate this myth.



Have you been attracted to every single one of your female friends?


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## NO (Nov 17, 2017)

Itachі said:


> Have you been attracted to every single one of your female friends?


Yes.


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## Itachі (Nov 17, 2017)

jayjay³² said:


> Yes.



Honestly speaking, I have been attracted to some of them but I can say that there are a lot of them which I have never been attracted to.


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## White Wolf (Nov 17, 2017)

A said:


> I hope my girl has some male friends that she can go chat with, so she can leave me alone when I want to browse NF/use social media peacefully. Sometimes I just need some alone time and I value it a lot.


I'll be your girl's friend and it'll be full on platonic 
Which is probably true depending on your taste in girls.

Reactions: Informative 1 | Optimistic 1


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## NO (Nov 17, 2017)

Itachі said:


> Honestly speaking, I have been attracted to some of them but I can say that there are a lot of them which I have never been attracted to.


What I’m saying is that at least one person is sexually attracted to the other, doesn’t have to be both. So, the girls you weren’t attracted to probably had some level of sexual attraction to you. 

Also, there are multiple facets to this. It’s very complicated. I could argue that even if you didn’t feel a sexual attraction to someone that you’re still utilizing sexual energy in some way. We do everything for sex. Could write essays about platonic relationships too.

Reactions: Informative 2 | Lewd 1


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## Shrike (Nov 17, 2017)

Sure, I'm always okay with that, as long as we're honest. I'm 30 so if my woman has friends for years, who am I to tell her not to have them? That's just stupid. Same goes for me. I surround myself with a lot of people, and half of them are women. New sudden friends at this age? That's different. There's more caution there.



jayjay³² said:


> I actually radically disagree with the variation of this statement that is explicitly about a straight male and female. I have been able to debunk every straight situation of “we’re just opposite gender friends” that I’ve ever encountered. There’s always a sexual facet.
> 
> Whether you act on it sexually is the important part. Most people do not and most people will even fully deny having a sexual interest in their “friend” to perpetuate this myth.



Although I share this POV, many people have this on an unconscious level, so many people realize that they had some kind of hots for the other once their relationship changes from their standard stale friendship. For example, your female friend found you sexually... interesting, but still didn't want to have anything more than a friendship, and then you get a gf and she instantly becomes either possessive or distant.

As I said, I generally agree, but it's a bit more complex than: "somebody is always attracted to the other". People are weird

Reactions: Agree 2


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## A Optimistic (Nov 17, 2017)

White Wolf said:


> I'll be your girl's friend and it'll be full on platonic
> Which is probably true depending on your taste in girls.


Uh ok if you want


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## Virus (Nov 17, 2017)

The norm in the albanian culture is, no. Outside work my wife will expect me to hang with my male friends, and I expect my wife to hang with her female friends. I think, that as long as we are on the same page and not hypocritical about it, it is fine.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## shieldbounce (Nov 17, 2017)

A rather complicated topic, but here goes.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend has told you that the girl that he hangs out with is just an old friend of his, but if you are not sure about the history between your bf and the friend that he hangs out with, what would your first reaction be after hearing about it?

It gets a bit more complicated if you do manage to see said "friend" that he/she introduces face to face, as there will be more than a couple variable that come into play when you encounter a situation such as this.

Is this friend of your significant other better looking than you are?
Does this friend of your significant other have a better social life/connections than you are?
How is the relationship between you and your significant other, and how strong is this relationship that binds you together?
Is this friend slowly (but significantly) affecting the amount of time that you and your significant other spend with each other?

If this friend is the same gender as your significant other, there should not be too much to be worried about. However, it may bring some concerns on your end if the friend of your significant other is of the opposite gender, or sexual orientation.

Because it is hard to keep a relationship together when you and your significant other have so many choices in life regarding how to interact with other people.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## Tiger (Nov 17, 2017)

Trying to control who your significant other can or can't be friends with is borderline psychotic at worst, and paranoid controlling bitch at best. Man or woman is irrelevant.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## shieldbounce (Nov 17, 2017)

Perhaps an answer to this question would be to focus on yourself and your life a bit more first, instead of investing too much time towards your significant other.

Your significant other appreciates that you have a life outside of him/her, I think.


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## A Optimistic (Nov 17, 2017)

Dr. Negri said:


> The norm in the albanian culture is, no. Outside work my wife will expect me to hang with my male friends, and I expect my wife to hang with her female friends. I think, that as long as we are on the same page and not hypocritical about it, it is fine.


Will your wife know about your CB girls?


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## shieldbounce (Nov 17, 2017)

A said:


> Will your wife know about your CB girls?


People in different countries deal with these types of things differently, I think.

Like in the more conservative countries where people are rather strict when it comes to gender roles and how opposite genders interact with one another.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## A Optimistic (Nov 17, 2017)

Lina Shields said:


> People in different countries deal with these types of things differently, I think.
> 
> Like in the more conservative countries where people are rather strict when it comes to gender roles and how opposite genders interact with one another.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Virus (Nov 17, 2017)

A said:


> Will your wife know about your CB girls?



If she asks I will tell her aboutandershaha

Reactions: Funny 1 | Useful 1


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## shieldbounce (Nov 17, 2017)

Dr. Negri said:


> If she asks I will tell her aboutandershaha


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## selfconcile (Nov 18, 2017)

The worst thing that I found in myself when I entered in a relationship is my capacity to be jealous. I can't help it, especially when I know for a fact that a friendship/interaction was based on a one-way or even mutual attraction.

I'm not the kind of person that demands that two people completely stop talking, but I can't just sidestep the internal emotional conflict either. I've found  advice helpful in that regard:



> All of us will, at some point, be attracted to someone who isn’t our partner. And not, like, once in four decades. Often. Until we are dead. Because we’re mammals.
> 
> I would first make sure that this is _actually_ happening, and not just in my mind. I would remind myself that no one person can be every single thing to another, that is not healthy. I would remember that I get crushes, too, and yet *they are with me and I am with them.* l’d look at the overall quality of the relationship, and see where I am maybe feeling dissatisfied, and think of what we can do together to make it stronger.
> 
> And? If it truly is the worst-case situation, where they leave you for this other person? Which is very unlikely, but possible? Then it will suck. It will suck a LOT. It will hurt like eight bitches on a bitchboat. But if they leave, it means they do not value you, your shared love and history, etc., and in the long run *that is not the person you want to be with.*


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## Darkmatter (Nov 18, 2017)

I think that the best thing anyone can do is to understand his or her friend, maybe even befriend 'em for the best case scenario. Instead of feeling a bit hostile towards 'em, you might as well as get to know them.
That is, assuming that person is someone you already know and don't get along, which tends to make situations a bit complicated (and in some cases, escalation into a worst situation).


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## Mider T (Nov 18, 2017)

I'm alpha enough to not worry about it.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## mali (Nov 18, 2017)

getting cheated on by a significant other is a fear thats pretty common, but it certainly doesnt excuse being a possessive twat.


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## Jessica (Nov 19, 2017)

Yes, because I'm not a paranoid idiot and I trust him. Kind of one of the most important things a relationship is supposed to be based on.


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## John Wick (Nov 19, 2017)




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## Catamount (Nov 21, 2017)

MO said:


> so for the guys would you mind if your wife had a male friend and for the ladies would you mind if you husband had a female friend?


Well, the question is kind of... from a different dimension. Like, where I work, there are people of both genders and maybe third one too, considering from the behavior... Anyway. It would be pretty difficult to exclude the communication with another gender from the life of someone who has it, life, that it. It is normal to make friends with someone whom you study or work with, as you obviously have something major in common. So, I personally would not mind it as I do not see this as something extraordinary. I would mind if my significant other started spending more time with that friend, than with me. However, most likely, something like this would mean that love is gone from both of us and we should just get separate appartments.


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## Idun (Nov 21, 2017)

Yep I have male friends and my boyfriend have female friends, it's normal and healthy. I would actually be worried if my boyfriend couldn't find friendship with other women.
If I or my boyfriend would fall for someone else, that is going to happen regardless of any of us having friends of the opposite gender or not. Then we weren't a good match anyway and life goes on.

To be fair I've had more trouble with my BF's male friends hitting on me then my own male friends.


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## Shrike (Nov 21, 2017)

Idun said:


> Yep I have male friends and my boyfriend have female friends, it's normal and healthy. I would actually be worried if my boyfriend couldn't find friendship with other women.
> If I or my boyfriend would fall for someone else, that is going to happen regardless of any of us having friends of the opposite gender or not. Then we weren't a good match anyway and life goes on.
> 
> To be fair I've had more trouble with my BF's male friends hitting on me then my own male friends.



Your boyfriend sure has great friends

Reactions: Agree 1


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## shieldbounce (Nov 21, 2017)

Pretty sure he's got his own needs outside of the relationship to tend to, @Shrike .


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## Shrike (Nov 21, 2017)

Lina Shields said:


> Pretty sure he's got his own needs outside of the relationship to tend to, @Shrike .



I am talking about his friends being douches for hitting on his girlfriend. Bros before hoes

Reactions: Agree 1


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## shieldbounce (Nov 21, 2017)

Shrike said:


> I am talking about his friends being douches for hitting on his girlfriend. Bros before hoes


Damn is that ever messed up? He should not consider them as close friends anymore then.

Those friends be thirsty like they been deprived of water for days


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## Idun (Nov 22, 2017)

@Shrike @Lina Shields , Yeah it made me mad too, I have stopped hanging out with those particular ones since I feel uncomfortable. But my BF forgave some of them and still hang out with them without me, which I guess is fine as far as I am concerned. He might just be too nice and forgiving towards his friends sometimes.


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## Itachі (Nov 22, 2017)

Idun said:


> @Shrike @Lina Shields , Yeah it made me mad too, I have stopped hanging out with those particular ones since I feel uncomfortable. But my BF forgave some of them and still hang out with them without me, which I guess is fine as far as I am concerned. He might just be too nice and forgiving towards his friends sometimes.



tbh i don't think i could get over that. your bf is a merciful man


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## Roman (Nov 22, 2017)

I don't see any issue with my significant other being friends with other guys. I'd be more concerned about someone having a problem with it.


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## mcpon14 (Nov 22, 2017)

Yes.  I would even be okay with my significant other having sex with someone of the opposite gender if it was purely for sex, lol.   It is true.


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## Itachі (Nov 22, 2017)

mcpon14 said:


> Yes.  I would even be okay with my significant other having sex with someone of the opposite gender if it was purely for sex, lol.   It is true.



ok lemme get at it my man


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## mcpon14 (Nov 22, 2017)

Itachі said:


> ok lemme get at it my man



But you don't know what gender I am and I don't know what is yours, lol.


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## Itachі (Nov 22, 2017)

mcpon14 said:


> But you don't know what gender I am and I don't know what is yours, lol.



i am a man


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## mcpon14 (Nov 22, 2017)

Itachі said:


> i am a man



I am a goat, lol.


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## Itachі (Nov 22, 2017)

mcpon14 said:


> I am a goat, lol.



is your partner an arab guy?

Reactions: Funny 3


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## mcpon14 (Nov 22, 2017)

Itachі said:


> is your partner an arab guy?



Lol


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## mcpon14 (Dec 3, 2017)

I never thought anything was wrong with it, unless their was some sexual dynamics there, like an affair was likely or the friend wanted to be more than friends with him/her, lol.


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## Nekochako (Dec 8, 2017)

As long as she don't do anything sexual with them, sure.


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## mcpon14 (Dec 8, 2017)

I don't know about you but all of married male friends all have many friends who are women and vice versa, lol.


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## Gunners (Dec 11, 2017)

Can't say it is something that has troubled me personally but it's something I feel people should be more mindful of. 

It boils down to respect, transparency and overall feel.


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## Polaris (Dec 11, 2017)

I wouldn't mind, on one condition; That the friend in question isn’t an ex-girlfriend.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Deleted member 198194 (Dec 24, 2017)

mcpon14 said:


> Yes.  I would even be okay with my significant other having sex with someone of the opposite gender if it was purely for sex, lol.   It is true.


Literal cuck

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 2 | Winner 1


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## Itachі (Dec 24, 2017)

afgpride said:


> Literal cuck



would you consider him a cuck if it was an open relationship and he was getting some too?


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## Deleted member 198194 (Dec 24, 2017)

Itachі said:


> would you consider him a cuck if it was an open relationship and he was getting some too?


No actually.  But judging by his avatar, manner of writing and the fact that he only watches his local basketball team when they're winning, I can firmly conclude he wouldn't be.

Reactions: Funny 2 | Informative 1


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## Deleted member 198194 (Dec 24, 2017)

As to the thread's question, there's two opposite extremes I always see which I think are dumb.  The first is the insecure jealousy of the sexually immature, and the other is the overly forgiving cuckoldry of the spineless. 

If you're clearly trying to get with my girl, say goodbye.  If you're trying to flirt on some casual shit, say goodbye.  If you're suspiciously trying to get a 1 on 1 dinner with candle lights and jazz music, you'll be summoned to my court to explain yourself.  It's all about intentions.  As long as I know the intentions aren't tainted, I think having friends of the opposite sex is just part of being an adult.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## A Optimistic (Dec 24, 2017)

@Itachi @White Wolf

What your views are if your girlfriend/wife asked you for a threesome?


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## White Wolf (Dec 24, 2017)

Ava said:


> @Itachi @White Wolf
> 
> Curious what your views are on your girlfriend/wife asking you for a threesome?


Not really a fan of it personally. Maybe depending on the situation, but pretty slim chance.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## Itachі (Dec 24, 2017)

Ava said:


> @Itachi @White Wolf
> 
> What your views are if your girlfriend/wife asked you for a threesome?



nah. i don't like sharing. and even if it was her trying to please me by bringing another woman along i wouldn't wanna fuck anybody else in the first place.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## A Optimistic (Dec 24, 2017)

I see, thank you for your answers gentlemen.

Reactions: Funny 1 | Friendly 1


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## Canute87 (Dec 25, 2017)

Yeah can't really see the issue.

You can always do a dna test to see if the child isn't yours.


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## mcpon14 (Dec 25, 2017)

afgpride said:


> Literal cuck


*Bitchslaps you*  Ya prick.


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## Seven Deadly Sins (Dec 28, 2017)

yeah but you have to be cautious as well. obviously i'd let my girl chill with the opposite sex but i'd be lying if i said i'd be comfortable with the idea of her chilling with a guy who has a known reputation of being a pimp daddy and has re-arranged over 100 women's organs. context is everything.


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## DemonDragonJ (Dec 28, 2017)

Ava said:


> What your views are if your girlfriend/wife asked you for a threesome?



It would depend upon whom she wished to join us, but I imagine that I would be very pleased with that idea, regardless of who it was.


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## A Optimistic (Dec 28, 2017)

DemonDragonJ said:


> It would depend upon whom she wished to join us, but I imagine that I would be very pleased with that idea, regardless of who it was.


You're a man of culture and good taste.

Reactions: Like 1


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## A Optimistic (Dec 28, 2017)

Seven Deadly Sins said:


> yeah but you have to be cautious as well. obviously i'd let my girl chill with the opposite sex but i'd be lying if i said i'd be comfortable with the idea of her chilling with a guy who has a known reputation of being a pimp daddy and has re-arranged over 100 women's organs. context is everything.


Loki


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## Cereza (Dec 29, 2017)

Depends on how close they are or how much time they spend together.


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## Seven Deadly Sins (Dec 30, 2017)

Ava said:


> Loki



whats cooking good looking

Reactions: Winner 1


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## Nataly (Jan 1, 2018)

I can't really say yes or no.
I'll say it depends on your relationship, your boyfriend, his friend, your jealousy level, or nonexistence of it.


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## shieldbounce (Jan 8, 2018)

Should one go with their gut instinct, or think rationally when it comes to issues like this?

If your gut instinct turns out to be correct (they usually end up being correct for the most part) in a scenario like this, you would have saved time and effort instead of thinking about what could have been/how you would have acted differently/etc...

But perhaps a valuable advice that could be taken to heart would be: Appreciate the relationship that you have, but be willing to let go of it if necessary.


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## Nugget (Jan 8, 2018)

*NO. *


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## shieldbounce (Jan 8, 2018)

Nugget said:


> *NO. *


*YES.*


God bless.


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## trance (Jan 15, 2018)

i'd be ight with it but if she cheating, then it's automatic donezo


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## Metaphor (Feb 22, 2018)

Ava said:


> I hope my girl has some male friends that she can go chat with

Reactions: Winner 1


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## A Optimistic (Feb 22, 2018)

Metaphor said:


>


That video was so cool!


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## Subarashii (Feb 22, 2018)

Metaphor said:


>


That's because the Lions are the best 

I encourage my s.o. to get out there and make friends.  I have tons of opposite gender friends, if the relationship is secure, nothing to worry about.


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## Dark Wanderer (Feb 22, 2018)

I'd be alright with it, but would expect the same treatment in return.


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## Aphrodite (Feb 22, 2018)

Yes it would be hard for me because i do have trust issues kinda bad but at the same time i wont stop any bf of mine from having girls as friends even though it would bother me.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Lewd 1


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## FLORIDA MAN (Feb 22, 2018)

yes

they just cant be human

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Smoke (Feb 25, 2018)

Only if that friend is a raging homosexual.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Kuzehiko (Feb 25, 2018)

Of course I wouldn't. 
Whoever says otherwise is likely unbelievable. I mean I wouldn't stop her from having male friends yet I wouldn't help  either being jealous or having trust issues.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## El Hit (Feb 26, 2018)

I might get jealous but I would not be able to say shit to her because almost all my friends are female. That was a problem in my last relationship.

Reactions: Informative 1


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