# The Last Assassin of the Creed



## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 4, 2009)

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Story: 1.

Summary: I was cast out by those I considered my family. Now I make my own path through life, now I have dedicated my life to the study of the art of the kill. I can blend in with any crowd, and eliminate anyone with a single thrust of my blades, my name was Uzumaki Naruto, now it is Uzumaki Washi and I will be remembered for ages to come, for I am an Assassin.  

Pairings: Naruto X Temari. 

Rating: T to M 

Disclaimer: I do not own: Naruto, ASSASSIN'S CREED, Hitman, or BLEACH.



(A/N: I am now working on a new story for this Thread. It's a new ASSASSIN'S CREED and Naruto story, and I will continue the last ASSASSIN of the CREED story as will. The new story will be story 2. )


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 4, 2009)

*Prologue Page 1*

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist   
Chapter: Prologue 
story: 1.

______________________________

*Spoiler*: __ 




 Temari walked up to Naruto and asked, "Naruto are you ok," He looked up at her, "No...am not love. But it will be ok in time." "You're still hating, ain't you?" She looked at him as he said, "Yes I am love, and why shouldn't I be. They exile me for three years... For him." 

She just had him in her arms and said, "I have you love, just let it out." He looked up at her and said, "Thank you Temari, but they turned their backs on me, and then they exile me. And they what me to come back to them, like nothing every happened." 

"It's been three years sense your exile Naruto, it's going to be all right." He looked into her eyes and than turned to look out on to the village of Sune and said to her,"Three years, the exile order is a three year one. And I never saw it coming, not from her. The Council yes, but not her. And this order is up today and they want me back as a tool, but I am so not going back." 

He turned back to Temari and said, "And way go back to Konoha, when I can live here in Sune with you."   

Naruto remembered the day of his exile. 

(Flashback) 

"Uzumaki Naruto, you are charged with the assault of one Uchiha Sasuke who You were ordered to bring back to this village." Naruto stood there in shock as the charges continued, some were obviously made up. He looked up to where the 5th Hokage Tsunade set watching the trial and she was not looking at him. 

'Help me Tsunade, please god help me,' This was what Naruto thought just as Tsunade stamped a document, she looked very, very angry at this time, just as she was now done chewing him out. 

He then read the document and asked her, "Is this for real... It can't be, please god no it can't be." 

Her answer was a very big ass short, "YES IT IS... NOW GET OUT." 

(End of Flashback) 

"I can't believe she did this to me Temari... I just can't. And because of her and the Council, I can't be a Ninja again." He just looked down at the ground and his hands.  

"Naruto." 

Naruto and Temari looked over to see a man dressed in a white robe with a hood to concealed his identity, as this man walked up to them.  

 Naruto and Temari turned to see him, "It's good to see you La Volpe Sensei," Naruto said to him. "It's good to see you too Naruto, and good day to you Lady Temari, how are you doing today." 

Temari bowed to him and said, "I am doing good lord La Volpe, and how are you doing on this day." "I am very good today Lady Temari, now Naruto it is time for your training," La Volpe said to them. 

"Yes Sensei," he said, as he now ran off, La Volpe looked over to Temari and said, "He will be a good Assassin some day, and a very good man Temari. You love him right." 

"Yes I do." 

La Volpe looked to her and said, "Good, he needs it Temari, he needs it." 

"What will we do, when Konoha comes for him ?" He turned to her and said, "I don't know Temari, but it will be up to you and him." 

END OF PROLOGUE


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 4, 2009)

I am working on chapter 1 right now.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 6, 2009)

*The Daimyo's Assassin  Page 2*

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 1 The Daimyo's Assassin 
Story: 1.

______________________________ 

*Spoiler*: __ 




7 Years Latter 

The Fifth Hokage of Konoha was on her way to see the Daimyo of Fire Country, Tsunade was the Fifth Hokage of Konoha the village hidden in the Leaves.

She was a good Hokage for the village, but now was a very, very bad time and war is coming to the Fire Country and it's allies. 

Tsunade turned to one of her ANBU and said, "Did you find him Kiba." He looked at her and said, "No my Lady." Kiba was now one of the best ANBU Tsunade had now, she looked at him and said, "Just find him Kiba, we need him back now." 

Kiba and his nin-dog Akamaru just looked at her as Kiba said to her, "We can't find him Lady Tsunade, we've been looking for years now. Naruto is not coming back to us my Lady." 

She looked at him and said, "Yes he is Kiba, all right. Just find him Kiba, it's an order." "Yes my Lady." 

At this time one of the Fire Guardians of the Daimyo walked up to them and said, "The Daimyo will see you now Lady Tsunade." Tsunade walked into the Daimyo's office, as she walked into the office she saw two more Fire Guardians. 

The one on the left was a Ninja, but the one the right was the Daimyo's Assassin, he was Washi, the man known as the Shadow Knight of the Fire Country. 

Kiba just looked at him and thought, 'My god it's him. Washi the Daimyo's Assassin of the Fire Country and one of her Guardians... Oh shit, man just be cool all right.' 

Washi was dressed in a all white robe with a hood and a mask to conceal his identity from them. He looked Tsunade right in the eyes with his hatred for them. 

Tsunade wince at this, 'Who are you Washi, and way do you hate us so much.' The Daimyo looked from Washi to Tsunade and said, "Now, now Washi please be nice to the Hokage and her ANBU all right." 

He nodded to the Daimyo and just looked at them again. She turned back to Tsunade and said, "Sorry about that, he don't like Konoha nin at all, but he is one of best Guardians, so again sorry. Now me and you Tsunade need to talk about this coming war... Oh Washi you have a new mission to do, do you not." 

He just nodded his to the Daimyo and walked by Kiba and Akamaru, at this time both of them knew who Washi was, 'Naruto, it can't be. Washi is Naruto, what happened to you Naruto.' 

END OF CHAPTER   










 

(A/N: This is a new version of this story, it's in the works by the way.) 


*Spoiler*: __ 





7 Years Latter 

A young man no older then 23 was walking into one of the rooms of his Inn "The Sleeping Fox" or as it was known to the world as, "La Volpe Addormentata." 

His name at one time had been Naruto, but now he was known as Washi or La Volpe, Assassin and head of the Thieves Guild for the Daimyo of Fire Country. 

The Fire Daimyo did have a ninja village in her country, it was the Hidden Leaf Village of Konoha. 

And La Volpe never wanted to see that Village, it's ninja or Kage again if he could help it.  

He knew it's ninja were looking for him all the time, why? 

He did not know, and he did not want to know. 

At this time one of his best men come up to he and said, "La Volpe, a man from the Daimyo has come to see you?" 

He looked back at his friend and said, "Something's going on, or they would not be here yet. I will go and see him now." 

He then walked into one of his, as he called them "Work Room's". 

It was not very big at all, but it was just big enough them to meet without being seen.   

As Volpe walked in, the man who had come to see turned and said, "It's good to see again Naruto, or should I say La Volpe?" 

"What are you doing here Shikamaru?" Naruto asked one of his oldest friends. 

Shikamaru just had one of those looks and said, "I'm here because they know where you are now, you are so troublesome Naruto. You know that!"  

end of C1


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 11, 2009)

*The Mission to Suna page 3*

Name: The last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 2 The Mission to Suna
Story: 1. 



*Spoiler*: __ 



 "How was it this time Washi," Baki said to a man dressed in a white robe with a mask on his face. "It was all right Baki, but it's all true. War is coming." 

Baki looked to him and said, "How soon Washi." "I don't know Baki, I just don't know, but it will be soon." "Who is it Naruto." 

Baki looked to Matsuri and said, "Matsuri, it's Washi in Fire Country remember, all right." "Yes sir, I am sorry Washi." He just looked at her and said, "It's all right Matsuri, and it's Iwa and Sound for now." 

Baki looked over Fire Country and just said, "Shit... All right we move out now." Kiba came out and said to one of his ANBU, "It's Naruto all right, come on guys let's go get him." 

Naruto now known as Washi to all, looked over Baki and asked him, "How far to the border?" 

The four man squad of Suna Nin had been running to the border for some time now, Naruto was now a representative of the Fire Daimyo and a very, very good Assassin for the Daimyo, and last of the Brotherhood of Assassins.  

They were all lucky that he was Ninja trained to, as this journey should have taking weeks. As it was all 5 of them were now running through the trees of Fire Country at a good pace in a basic star fomation. 

Naruto was in the the middle with Baki at the rear and the other 3 nin, two man and one Kunoichi, on either side and ahead of him. 

"We are an hour from the border Washi, we'll stop there for a rest before heading into the desert." 

Naruto just said to him, "Something's not right Baki, I don't like this." "We are going to rest before heading into the desert Washi, it can be pretty treachrous at this time you know." 

"I know, I know sandstorm season." "Good I hope you know all the necessary survival techniques?" Baki asked him. "Of course I do Baki, I did spend most of the last half of our careers travelling back and forth between our Daimyo's among other things." 

He kicked off a branch and executed alazy somersault onto the next branch as a show of prwess. "Besides." He went on to add, "I have the Kazekage's old sensei, and his fiance and two of his elite Jonin for this one you know, and what is there out there that any of us could not survive against?" He asked him with a confident smirk. 

Baki just rolled his eyes at him. The hour's trip to the border went by quietly, only the sounds of the forest, rushing feet and heavy breathing came to 5's ears. 

They were now resting for a few hour's in the scrub land that divided the forests of Fire Country with Sand's desert, it was a very big mistake that would upset a lot of people . 

At this time Naruto looked back towards the forest, Baki was merely curious. Baki know the look and became concerned. The final sign of trouble was the sudden appearance of two ANBU teams surrounding them. 

'Fucking Konoha nin... SHIT,' Naruto thought. They were proudly displaying the Leaf insignia on their masks, Baki and his team leaped into defensive positions, Naruto on the other hand did nothing. 

"Stand down Suna Nin," one of the ANBU, obviously the one in charge spoke. "And hand over your charge into our custody." All four sand Nin tened, ready for action. 

END OF CHAPTER 




(AN: i am now working on a new version of this story, it's in the works by the way.)



*Spoiler*: __ 




"They what?" Naruto asked his old friend. Shikamaru just looked him in the eyes and said, "Troublesome... The Hokage has been looking for you, for what 7 years now you know." 

Naruto had to set down and look up at Shikamaru, all of his hard work had been for nothing now. 

"That i know all to will old friend, but it was not her and the council's will that i be exiled in the first place?" He asked. 

"That's true, but they are on their way here to get you back." 

He just gave Shikamaru one of those looks, "How long?" 

"Any time now, the Daimyo will come to help you out when you are back in Konoha... Oh, just one more thing?" 

"What?" 

"Just don't kill them okay!" Shikamaru asked his old friend. 

And again Naruto gave him one of there's looks, "No promises Shikamaru, if thay try it on me... I will kill them." 

______________________________

It did not take too long for them to get to Washi's Inn, as soon as they saw him they just smiled, "Uzumaki Naruto... You are here by ordered to stand before the Hokage and the Council of Konoha." 

Washi just walked up to them and said, "My name is Washi, i am not this... What was that name again?" 

One of the ANBU then said, "Nice try Naruto but we know it's you, and you are going back to the village with us." 

 "All right... But don't think this is over ANBU!" He said to them. 

End of C2


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 14, 2009)

I am now working on C3 of this story, I hope you all like this one.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 18, 2009)

*To go back  Page 4*

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 3 To go back
Story: 1.   



*Spoiler*: __ 



 The Sand nin's and they client just looked at the two ANBU teams as Baki said, "By the rules of our alliance, you cannot interfere with any mission of any Suna shinobi takes, no matter waht. So why do you think I will allow you to interfere on this one, especially considering it is of the highest importance to the Kazekage?" 

The 8 ANBU pressed in on the four Suna nin and they client, Naruto knew they were no match in this line-up, should it come to a fight. 

Once again he didn't react, he did not move and he did not make any sign that he was aware of the confrontation going on around him and over him, but he was. 

One of the ANBU looked at Baki and said, "The Hokage has ordered us to take one Uzumaki Naruto in to stand before the council of Konoha and we will follow that order, alliance or not." 

"This is not Uzumaki Naruto, this is Washi." Kiba and his nin dog Akamaru looked at him and said, "I know this is Naruto Baki... please gave him to us." 

Naruto tensed as he felt the build up of chakra on both sides before finally doing something, he looked to Baki and said to him, "Baki, Matsuri, head back to Suna and inform Gaara of this predicament and the coming war." 

Baki and his team were taken a back by this, "Our orders were to escort you to Suna and that is what we'll do." 

"I know, but if it will stop any alter cations that may endanger the already fragile alliance between Suna and Konoha then it is what must be done, and we all know it." 

Naruto stood up and shouldered his pack, making sure the Konoha ANBU could see he was very, very will armed, with the intention of staying armed, he had throwing knives on him and a black sword (A/N, it's Ichigo's Babkal sword ) on his back. 

He then turned to Baki and said, "What are you still doing here Baki?" he asked the man. Baki just looked at him, "My orders from the Kazekage were clear Washi, to stay by your side until you walked through the Kazekage's office door, and I don't intend to disobey him." 

"Very will, Matsuri take this to Gaara as fast as you can all right." She looked at him and said, " All right, let's go. " 

At this time the ANBU came up to him and said, "Hand over your weapons, now." "Come on Baki, it will be a few hours journey to the edges of Konoha's borders." 

Kiba looked to his ANBU team and said, "Just go for now, eyes open, all of you."                 


END OF CHAPTER


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## whitealexander (Feb 18, 2009)

the stories are cool.. but i think making a new name or unique name is better..


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 18, 2009)

Thank you man, I'm working on C4 right now.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 21, 2009)

*The Assassin's Work  Page 5*

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 4, The Assassin's Work 
Story: 1. 



*Spoiler*: __ 



  As Naruto and Baki ran the trees of Konoha, he felt them coming, Baki looked over to him and said, "What is it Washi." 

"We are not alone Baki, they are coming." Baki just looked at all of the trees coming and going, "Shit... So... It has come, can you do it Washi." 

"Yes... I can Baki, stop the ANBU for me." "I will Washi, I will." At this time they just stopped on one of the trees, by this time the 8 ANBU had catch up to them. 

Naruto said to Baki at this time, "Do not move, all right." Just then he ran into the trees, "Hey... Come back here Naruto, oh shit she is going to kill me." 

Baki looked at them and said, "Do not move, they are coming now." "Who is coming?" 

Baki looked to the trees, "Them!" Just then 8 Iwa ANBU came out of said trees, the Iwa captain of the ANBU just said to them, "Will, will, will 8 Konoha ANBU, one old Sune Nin. Oh and a dog... It's time for you to die." 

Just then one of his men let out a scream. Baki looked at him and said, "You have 7 now Iwa Nin!" 

And then a new scream came to them, Baki looked at him again, "6." By this time the Iwa Nin were looking at the trees in fear, just then another scream for them, and a another one, and a another, and a another in so much fear. 

Baki just said to them, "And now they are two, so who is going to die Iwa Nin," The Iwa captain was now looking at the trees in a new kind of fear and said out load, " WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU... COME OUT YOU DEMON." 

The Iwa Nin then heard him say, "The old names come out again I see, it's not to good for you two, now is it." Just as Naruto said this to them, he then come out of the trees and hit the captain so herd that he was sent flying into a tree and was out cold. 

The last Iwa Nin ran at him in the trees, only to have has arm cut off by Naruto, "My arm, oh god my arm, your fucking DEMON!" 

"It's not your arm anymore Iwa Nin." The Konoha ANBU just looked at him in fear, one of them thought, 'My god, he can kill us at any time, and waht he just said to this man, this can't be Naruto." 

Naruto just looked at the Iwa Nin and said, "Go now, run along and till your Kage he faces free man and women here and me the last Assassin of the Creed... Not slaves and do it quickly Iwa Nin, before we do kill you, right here right now, so go now." 

The Nin just looked at him and said, "No... No not slaves DEMON, your women will be slaves, your sons and daughters, your elders will be slaves! But not you, no, no in two weeks you will all be dead man and women at our feet. We will descend opon you all, our jutsus's, our kunai and arrows will blot out Konoha's Sun." 

 Naruto just looked at him, "No Iwa Nin, it won't I will see to it, and if you all can do what you say, will... Then we will fight in the shade of Konoha, and you all will die by me." 

Naruto then walked back to over Baki and said, "Baki we move out now." The Iwa Nin looked at the ANBU and said, "He is mad, that man is in one mad son of a bicth, you can't win it's madness, haa haaa." 

Kiba looked at him and said, "Go before we do kill you Iwa Nin." At this time the Konoha ANBU said, "My god... He just killed 6 Iwa ANBU, and we are to bring him in... Who the fuck is this guy." 

Kiba just said to them, "He is Uzumaki Naruto, the Daimyo's Assassin, and are only hope at this time, one of you get him and come on." 

END OF CHAPTER


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## Reaper of the Mist (Feb 24, 2009)

I am working on C5 right now.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Mar 11, 2009)

*The Daimyo's Move Page 6*

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 5 The Daimyo's Move 
Story: 1. 



*Spoiler*: __ 



 "I hate this shit!" The Daimyo of Fire Country said. The Daimyo's name was Nemu and she was doing the one thing she hated the most. 

The fucking paperwork! 

At this time Shinji the Daimyo's aide came into her office to see how it was coming. Nemu looked up at him and said, "Oh please Shinji, no more all right." 

"No, no more my lord for today, I just came get some of this shit, as you and the Hokage call it." She sit back in her chair and said, "Oh thank you god, I do hate paperwork Shinji. On a good day it's bad, but right now at a time of war... Well it's just so much more." 

Shinji just looked at her and said, "Troublesome as Shikamaru says all the time?" "Yes!" "Will my lord you do it. The Hokage just won't do her paperwork at all you konw." 

"She has more Shinji." "No she don't my lord...Well, If she would do it." At this the Daimyo just laughed and said, "True Shinji, very true. 

Just then two of the Daimyo's Fire Guardians came into her office. "Soi Fon, Shikamaru what is it?" 

Soi Fon looked at her lord and said, "It's Washi my lord, Konoha has captured him." The Daimyo's eyes want wide at this news, 

In Soi Fon's hands was a Sune puttet messenger bird, "Oh shit... This is not good." At this time Shikamaru looked to his lord and said, "What do we do now my lord, this war is coming soon." 

"I konw, I konw shit... What to do, Shinji." He just nodded to her and said, "I would go and help him my lord, but that's just me." Nemu nodded to her aide, "You are right Shinji as walls, Soi Fon, Shikamaru get all of my Guardians to my now!" 

Soi Fon nodded and ran out of the office at this time to get all of the Fire Guardians for the Daimyo.

"What are you going to do her this time my lord?" Shikamaru asked Nemu. Nemu just looked at the Nara and smiled, "Will Shikamaru we are going to the Hokage and get Naruto back, his my Guardian not her Ninja anymore, so you coming or not?" 

He just smiled at her, "I'm coming my lord, I'm coming Naruto you are so troublesome at times old friend." 
______________________________ 

Kiba and Akamaru ran ahead of his teams and Naruto to see the Hokage, he and Akamaru looked at the Hokage's secretary, "Is the Hokage in?" 

"Yes she is Dog." "Thank you." As he said this to the secretary, he and Akamaru walked into the office of the Hokage, who at this time looked up from her paperwork at them, "Good to see you two are back Kiba, how is it looking out there?" 

"It's not good my lady, we ran into some Iwa ANBU out there. 8 of them." "Shit... Did we?" "No my lady, all but two of them are dead, one is on his way back Iwa at this time. Without one of his arm's, and they Captain is going to see Ibiki at this time." 

"Good Kiba, by the way who killed all of them?" He and Akamaru looked at her, "It was Naruto!"

END OF CHAPTER


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## Reaper of the Mist (May 27, 2009)

I am now working on chapter 6 of this story at this time.


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## The Breaker (May 29, 2009)

Great storyline, you should work a little more on the sentence structure, among other things.


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## Reaper of the Mist (May 30, 2009)

*Not quiti the face you remember  Page 7*

Name: The Last Assassin of the Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 6, Not quiti the face you remember 
Story: 1. 



*Spoiler*: __ 



They reached the Council chambers door in no time at all as the doors were immediately opened opon their arrival. 

It was obvious that they were expected, Altaïr told Baki to stay at the sidelines as he had tried to protest but one look in to Altaïr's ice blue eyes told him not to. 

Altaïr continued into the centre of the floor and sat down into the only seat placed there and faced the Council, looking between to of the councillors in the second row. 

Directly ahead of him and then keeping his stare there, the Council just stared at him unsure of what to make of his silence, they were expecting fear from him and most likely anger at his forced presence before them. 

But from him nothing at all, the Hokage shifted in her seat and quietly cleared her throat, she was getting ready to speak, "You are a very hard man to find Naruto, so... What do you have to say for yourself?" She asked him, sounding like a lecturing mother. 

And again no reply from him, "You were expected to report back from your exile 7 years ago." She went on, the anger in her voice was becoming apparent to all. 

"So explain yourself Naruto?" "Altaïr." She just looked at him, "What?" "My name is Altaïr now, not Naruto." 

All emotion was erased from his voice as he said this, it put those that remmembered how he use to speak on edge. 

She just looked at him more and said, "Naruto what happened to you?" "Not quiti the face you remember is it?" 

"No." 

"A lifetime of volence will do that you know, but so much is the same... The eyes, surely you recogize the eyes?" 

"Yes."

"Our eyes reflect our lives don't they? And yours are so confidant." "What are you speaking of?" 

"Prison, this Council sent me to Konoha's Prison mines, you all sent me there to die. How could a mere Demon survive mines, but I did. And in those terrible depths lived only the damned, I was condemned to an never ending existence of unceasing labor and starvation under the brutal heel of the guards and then I didn't see the sun or the stars again for nearly 3 months, and then you exile me... So why am I here?" 

The Council just looked at him as one of them said, "It's about the coming war, and we want you back here. Your home." 

END OF CHAPTER


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 17, 2009)

*Assassin's Creed*

Name: Assassin's Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Story: 2. 

Summary: A long time ago, I lived in the hidden Ninja Village of Konoha. The Leaf Village was my home for a time, but then I was cast out by those I considered my family. I can not be a Ninja anymore because of them, but now I can be something else. I will make my own path through this life for I am more. I am now an Assassin of the Brotherhood, I am no longer Uzumaki Naruto, I am now Washi. And this is my Creed, my son's Creed, our Assassin's Creed. 

Rating: M 

Disclaimer: I do not own: Naruto, BLEACH or Assassin's Creed.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 17, 2009)

I am now working on C1 of Assassin's Creed at this time, and I am working on the next chapter of The Fallen.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 17, 2009)

I highly suggest you find yourself a beta reader, and take some writing clasees.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 18, 2009)

Ok, I know I am not the best writer here, but I am doing my best at it ok. And you N1nj45tyl3 are not helping me out, not one bit. 

I know that I need help with my spelling and grammar ok, I know this. 

And as for a beta reader, I do have one, he is Itachifan727. He just said that I needed to work on my spelling and grammar, and I did ask him if would be my beta reader for one of my stories, and I do thank him for it. 

But you N1nj45tyl3, you are just not very nice at all, you just have to say things like, "Lame. and Wow... and not in that good way." The only story you were nice to me on was IRON MAN. Even if you did say in a way, "You need a lot of work on this one."   

I am a nice guy ok, but to say, "And take some writing clasees." It's just not nice at all. 

By the way I do work on my stories from time to time, and that work is editing my stories too man. And the last time I worked on this story, was on May 30 2009, it's been some time for this story ok. 

And like I said, I am not the best, but I will never gave up on my stories, and I do this to have fun. And if you don't like my stories, will that's all you, then don't read them man. 

And this is my Rant.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 18, 2009)

Reaper of the Mist said:


> Ok, I know I am not the best writer here, but I am doing my best at it ok. And you N1nj45tyl3 are not helping me out, not one bit.
> 
> I know that I need help with my spelling and grammar ok, I know this.
> 
> And as for a beta reader, I do have one, he is Itachifan727. He just said that I needed to work on my spelling and grammar, and I did ask him if would be my beta reader for one of my stories, and I do thank him for it.



You may not be the best writer here, the world, kindergarten...whatever. If you post something you have to be aware of a few things: If its going to be in a place where the general populace is gonna read it, you're going to come across some people who'll tell you that you're "doing alright, you're doing okay, you're work is awesome.". And then you're going to have people who tell you the truth: This is lame. Good idea, but needs work. Tottal Crap, blah blah blah...". If you know you need help with your spelling and grammar you should spend just a wee bit more time on your work prior to releasing it. Also you shouldn't overwhelm yourself with multiple stories. Pick one, stick with and use that one to improve. And I apologize now for saying that you need to get a beta reader.....you need to fire the one you have and get a new one.





Reaper of the Mist said:


> But you N1nj45tyl3, you are just not very nice at all, you just have to say things like, "Lame. and Wow... and not in that good way." The only story you were nice to me on was IRON MAN. Even if you did say in a way, "You need a lot of work on this one."



Actually I am very nice, I actually haven't said exactly what I wanted to say about "Fallen", "The Dark Knight", and "Iron Man," or even this "Assassin's Creed." As a writer you're gonna get attack for either your lack of talent, lack of imagination...etc...etc. Those fics mentioned above were complete rip-offs of DC, and Marvel comics stories...movies specifically, and sadly they were even done that well. See, I could be alot crueler if I wanted to, but that wouldn't help you, or motivate you to continue writing. If I was cruel off that bat, you'd probably quit writing and hide in a corner. Thing about writing is that everyone can criticize it, but it takes a select few people to actually get it right. Even famous authors have editors who tear through their work like termites tunnel through wood.



Reaper of the Mist said:


> I am a nice guy ok, but to say, "And take some writing clasees." It's just not nice at all.
> 
> By the way I do work on my stories from time to time, and that work is editing my stories too man. And the last time I worked on this story, was on May 30 2009, it's been some time for this story ok.



Actually taking writing classes is not an insult...exactly. Writing classes will teach you a bunch of awesome techniques and if you're truly serious about you're writing, will help you progress by see the work of others. Again writing is just one of those things like baseball, basketball, football or programming. Some got it...others don't. You my friend...well you have something and I want you to improve upon it.



Reaper of the Mist said:


> And like I said, I am not the best, but I will never gave up on my stories, and I do this to have fun. And if you don't like my stories, will that's all you, then don't read them man.
> 
> And this is my Rant.


Good deal, never give up on your writing, but you have to have a really thick outer layer if you're going to post them. You must be able to look outside the box and read your work as if it was a book and think "Could I sell this to someone and have them enjoy it?" If you can't pass that litmus test, then its time to put more work...into your work. And despite that you only write your fun, you are publishing to an audience. If someone in you're audience thinks you suck (even though its not something you wish to hear) you should listen to them. They might be onto something.

So ends my rant.

By the way, if I was a real prick I'd take a section of your writing, edit it and post it just to show you the difference....but you wouldn't learn anything from that.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 18, 2009)

You are a very big Prick N1nj45tyl3! I can take what you said about me, and I do thank you for it, but what you said about Itachifan727. 

Fire him and get a new one, I don't ask for his help on this story man. I'm trying to do this one all by myself, for now. 

If I need help with them, I will ask. And if you do see something wrong with a story and you can fix it, please show me ok. Like I said I am not the best and never will be, but I can get better over time.  

So if you see something wrong with a story just tell me or show me it ok. I'll do some work on it when I can.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 18, 2009)

Reaper of the Mist said:


> You are a very big Prick N1nj45tyl3!


 



Reaper of the Mist said:


> I can take what you said about me, and I do thank you for it, but what you said about Itachifan727.
> Fire him and get a new one, I don't ask for his help on this story man. I'm trying to do this one all by myself, for now.



Alright, I'll apologize for this one. I figured you would be using him, if you had him. A beta reader is more often than not, a good tool to use when writing. I'll take back what I said about firing him...Don't be an idiot and use him. Its not about whether or not you can do it yourself, its about putting for the best possible piece of work forward while using every resource available. Its almost like saying "I'm not going to use spell-check because I know I spelled everything right." Use it, its there. It may not be perfect but its there.



Reaper of the Mist said:


> If I need help with them, I will ask. And if you do see something wrong with a story and you can fix it, please show me ok. Like I said I am not the best and never will be, but I can get better over time.
> 
> So if you see something wrong with a story just tell me or show me it ok. I'll do some work on it when I can.


 Alright fine,but be prepared. THIS CAN BE BRUTUAL.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 18, 2009)

Works for me man, I'm just trying to do the best story I can is all.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 18, 2009)

Reaper of the Mist said:


> "Naruto are you ok," Temari asked him. "No...am not love. But it will be ok in time." "You're still hating." She looked at him as he said, "Yes I am love, and why shouldn't I be. They locked me up for three months in Konoha prison... For him."



Alrighty then ROUND 1) I'll use this one as a starting point, just so you understand why I've been so _harsh._ First off, where are Naruto and Temari at? Why is Naruto calling her love right off the bat? What's hurting (or in this dialogue case) hating?  So first order of business is to state the who,what,when, and where: 

*Spoiler*: __ 



After spending what seemed like an eternity in prison, Uzumaki Naruto stared upward into the sky, enjoying the breeze of freedom for the first time. Being locked up for a crime he found both silly and rash had caused him to grow even more bitter towards the people of his village. Outside of the prison there were people waiting for him...but only one single person there mattered. He pushed his way past the crowd of people he thought he had known intimately the last fifteen years of his life and headed towards the only person who had kept absolute faith in him. Temari of Sunagakure 


 

Round 2) Dialogue. Hardest thing to get right but yet at the same time the easiest thing to do once you get the trick down. What's the secret? Here, I'll *show* you


*Spoiler*: __ 



"Naruto, are you okay?" Temari carefully reached her hand across the table to gently touch the hand of Naruto. After his release she had ushered him away from the crowds of former friends and would be journalists to treat him to nice quite restaurant. They had ordered, and their meals had arrived in a timely matter but he still had yet to touch his food. He seemed to be still lost in the moment and although she had repeated the question a dozen times, he had not responded until she had touched his hand.

"No..." Naruto shook his head curtly. The poor young man had gone through alot during his time incarcerated. "No I'm not." He said finally.  




Get it? Understand? I guess I should end there.....but since I'm a prick Imma continue and stuff. 



Reaper of the Mist said:


> She looked to him and said, "I have you, love let it out." He looked up at her and said, "Thank you Temari, but they turned their backs on me, and then when they finally let me out and then they exile me."
> 
> "It's been three years Naruto, it's all right." He looked into her eyes and said to her,"Three years, the exile order is a three year one, and it's up today and I am not going back."
> 
> Naruto remembered the day of his exile.


 Round 3) The above would read better if it was done like this:

*Spoiler*: __ 



"Its going to be alright." Temari patted Naruto firmly on the hand. "Go ahead and let out whats bothering you.

"After all I've done..." Naruto slammed a fist against the table, nearly breaking it. The impact of his fist made the food on the table jump. "After everything I've done for this village! After all that hardship and they lock me up and then had the audacity to exile me!"
"Its alright," Temari said again, she gently rubbed the back of his palms to reassure him.
"Not its not." Naruto said firmly. Temari could see he was doing his best not to scream. "I'm leaving this place...and I'm never coming back!"







Reaper of the Mist said:


> (Flashback)
> 
> "Uzumaki Naruto, you are charged with the assault of Uchiha Sasuke." Naruto stood there in shock as the charges continued, some were obviously made up. He looked up to where the 5th Hokage Tsunade set watching the trial and she was not looking at him.
> 
> 'Help me Tsunade, please god help me,' Naruto thought just as Tsunade stamped a document, she looked very, very angry at this time, just as she chewed him out.



=/ come on...really. Getting jail time for beating up sasuke? I suggest you look at Link removed 
That's....just seriously lame. Besides, I think if Naruto is gonna be put in jail for something, then his crime needs to be a little more serious...or in the very least believable:


*Spoiler*: __ 



 "Uzumaki Naruto, you have been found guilty of trespassing, unlawfully entering a forbidden area, resisting arrest and assaulting keepers of the peace." The blood began to drain from Naruto's face as his sentence was being read by none other than Tsunade...the Fifth Hokage. He stared up at her agape and his eyes pleading...begging for her to help him. But she kept her eyes focused on crowd that had gathered behind him to watch the trial. The only discernable look on her face was one of anger. Naruto knew very intimately that expression. He'd seen it before many times when she scolded him for doing something inane. But this look was different...he couldn't tell what exactly about her anger was different, only knew that even without looking at him, she was sending chills down his spine. 




<.< and that's what, not even 1/3 of your beginning right there.
>.> well hopefully you learn something from this...I know I have


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 22, 2009)

*St 2: C1, Requiem For A Dream Page 7*

Name: Assassin's Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 1, Requiem For A Dream 
Story: 2. 
______________________________

"Talking." 
'Thoughts.' 
______________________________ 
(Council chambers, Konoha.) 

Naruto was not having a good day at all, first of all he was bring forcefully escorted into the Council chamber room by some of the Special Operations unit of ANBU, the ANBU were flanking him on all sides. They then marched him right into the center of the room, he then stood there in front of the Hokage and village Council of Konoha the Hidden Leaf Village. 

It was not his frist time being in front of the Council for doing something, but it was the frist time ever in his life bring in front of the Village Council because of the Hokage. 

It was obvious to him that it was Tsunade who had called this Council meeting. 

He then turned to face the Village Council, Tsunade stared unemotionally into his eyes as she read from the papers between her hands, "Uzumaki Naruto, Ninja of the Village of Konoha, Rank Genin... You stand before this Council charged with the assault and attempted murder of Clan Heir and Genin of Konoha Uchiha Sasuke, who you were ordered to bring safety back to this Village. Because of your gross negligence and complete diregard for the last of a Clan and a Clan Heir too, this Council tribunal has decided upon your punishment Uzumaki." 

'What the hell is going on in here!' Was Naruto's thoughts at this time. Naruto looked her and the Council right in the eyes, "And what is that Lady Hokage?" Naruto asked her. 

"You will be banished from the Village of Konoha for as long as you live Uzumaki." She said. 

Naruto was now in shook at what he had just heard, he could not believe this was happening to him. "Y-you what?" 

"Uzumaki, you are here by banished from this Village by the order of the Council and Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village of Konoha... If you return from exile then we will have no choice but to kill you." 

"So I can never come back?" Naruto asked her. 

Tsunade then just said, "If this Council feels you are needed, then we will come for you." 

She then looked down at the document right in front of her as she then stamped it, she then gave it to one of the ANBU in the room. He then walked up to Naruto and to gave him the document. 

The ANBU then said, "Sorry kid." It took Naruto some time before he took the document from the ANBU'S hands and then read it, it was not good for him at all, not one bit!

'I can never be Hokage now, they've kill my Dream. The Council kill it, no it was Tsunade who has killed my Dream. I have Dream a Dream, now that Dream is lost to me!' He thought to himself. 

"T-this can't be r-real..." Naruto said. 

"It is Uzumaki." Tsunade said. 

"No, n-no... You can't do this to me, I did my job out there. He was trying to kill me out there!" 

"Uzumaki." She try to say to him. 

"And now you're all exiling me for HIM! He was the one trying to kill me. ME!" 

"Naruto." She said again. 

"NO, NO, I won't do this, not for him." 

"NARUTO!"Tsunade screamed it this time at him. 

"NOOO! I'm not some tool or weapon of this Village, I'm one of it's Ninjas you son's of bitchs! It's not about Sasuke at all, it's all about the Fox and how you all couldn't have me killed. So you couldn't have your revenge on it, and that's all it is with this Council... Revenge!" Naruto was now very pissed off, and so was Tsunade. 

"IT IS NOT ABOUT REVENGE... It's about the attempted murder our of the last Uchiha. Now get the hell out of my Village... You have one week do this Uzumaki."

Naruto could not believe this, he was in shock again. But this time at what she had just said to him. 

'So much for family and love, maybe Gaara was right. Love only your self, no that's not right at all. I saved him, I just can't save myself... Or my Dream, not in this Village anyways.' 

It was at this time that Tsunade saw the look in his eyes, 'Oh no... What have I done?' 

He then gave them all one of those looks, the kind of looks that could kill big time. 

He then started to walk out of the Council chamber doors, he then stopped at the doors and turned to the Hokage and the Village Council and said, "Know this, if... IF I come back to this fucking Village, I will not be who I was before. You will see a new Uzumaki Naruto, and if I don't come back. Don't come for me, and as for that week. I'm going right now!" 

Tsunade got up from her seat and said, "Get back here right now Uzumaki." 

He just walked right out of the chamber, and said nothing. 

"NARUTO... Come back here!" "It's too late Tsunade, he's gone." 

"What have I done." 

One of the Councillors who did like Naruto, and knew that Naruto was the real hero of Konoha. He knew what he had to do, 'I have to send a messenger bird to Malik right away before Naruto is gone from the Village, he must know more about has family and what he can be. I can't believe what this Council has done to him, it's good see that some of them not evil.' 
______________________________
(The Forest of Konoha.) 

Naruto was now walking through the forest of Konoha as fast as he could, he then stopped and looked at his hands. 

The seals on his hands were the same kind of seals ANBU used on enemy Nin, he would never be a Ninja again because of her. 

No not because of her, it had to be the Council. He could see it now, but way had she gone with it.  

It was at this time that three men in white robes with hoods and a lot of weapons on them came out of the forest, one of them then walked up to Naruto and take off has hood so Naruto could now see his face. 

The man then said, "Safety and Peace brother." 

Naruto then looked at this man, the old man Hokage had said once a long time ago to him that if he ever heard someone say that, that they were a friend to him and say it back. 

"Safety and Peace brother, who are you sir?" 

The man just said, "I am Malik, I'm a friend of your father and the old man Hokage as you liked to call him Naruto." 

"You know who my father is, what about my mother. Do you know who she is?" 

Malik looked into Naruto's eyes and said, "Yes I do, she and your father were the best Ninjas I ever saw and meet, and some of the best Assnssins we ever train. Your mother was the last descendant of a man named Altaïr, he was of our Clan a long time ago Naruto. If you want Naruto we can train you to be one of us." 

Naruto just said, "I would like that, but... They did this to me." He then hold up his hands for Malik to see. 

"This is not good... But it's not impossible for you to be a Ninja or Assnssin again, we can train you to be the best Assnssin in the world Naruto. We will never gave up on you." 

"Then let's go, I can't be here anymore... But my name?" 

"What about your name Naruto?" Malik asked him. 

"I went a new one. No I need a new one!" He said. Malik just smiled at this and said, "How about your ancestor's name Naruto? How about Altaïr?" 

"I like it, I know they will be coming for me in no time at all... So I will be coming for them first, all of them."  

Malik smiled again at him and said, "I know they are Altaïr, but so are we, you are not alone. Not anymore, now come Altaïr... Your new life has only begin." 

END OF CHAPTER




(A/N: This is what the high ranking Assassins look like, in time Naruto will look just like them.)


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 22, 2009)

Before I begin I'll start with the one compliment I had. Compare to the other garbage you wrote (hate me if you want) this is not _that_ bad. But like paint chipped on a house, all this needs is a little touch up.




Now for the rest *cracks dem knuckles*



Reaper of the Mist said:


> Name: Assassin's Creed
> 
> Naruto was walked into the Council chamber by some ANBU, he then stood there in front of the Hokage and village Council of Konoha the Hidden Leaf Village.
> 
> ...




I'll tackle a this part first, cause I feel when you begin anything, its all in the introduction. If that's fucked up, then the rest of the story will follow suit. I was going to ask if you used a beta, on this but....NVM. Anyhoo...

Not bad at placing things inside a scene, but again I think you're missing the mark when it comes to composition. 
 This : 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Naruto was walked into the Council chamber by some ANBU, he then stood there in front of the Hokage and village Council of Konoha the Hidden Leaf Village. 




Should've (could've, would've) been better written something like this:

*Spoiler*: __ 



A very angry and confused Naruto was escorted into the chamber, four Special Operations ANBU flanking him at either side, and one ANBU ninja behind him, a hand constantly resting on the weapon strapped to his back. They marched him into the center of the room facing him towards the Fifth Hokage who was flanked by the elder council of Konoha.




Can be written any number of ways, so I hope you understand what I'm getting at.

Then there's this :

*Spoiler*: __ 




It was obvious to him that it was Tsunade who had called this Council meeting. 
He then turned to face the Village Council, Tsunade than looked in has eyes as she said, "Uzumaki Naruto, Ninja of the Village of Konoha, Rank Genin... You stand before this Council charged with the assault of Clan Heir and Genin of Konoha Uchiha Sasuke, who you were ordered to bring back to this Village. Because of your assault upon the last of a Clan and a Clan Heir too, this Council has decided your fate Uzumaki." 




Which isn't bad, as far as dialogue is concerned, but....again...assaulting Sasuke =/ how very lame. Seriously, this really defies any and all sense of logic.At least my logic, anyway. I think for beating the snot of Sasuke, at the very least he'd get yelled at by Sakura, and at the most, be yelled at by Tsunade herself. Unless you have a magical planned plot device for that, I can only think that either A) using it as an EXCUSE plot device, in which case I think you're definately improving as a writer. B) Using it as a joke...but you've written this seriously so I don't think that's it. or C) Honestly couldn't think of anything better in which case you relied an old, crappy worn out fanfic cliche...

As far as dialogue goes, I would re-word it a bit like such:

*Spoiler*: __ 



"Uzumaki Naruto," Tsunade stared unemotionally into his eyes as she read from the papers between her hands. "You stand before this tribunal today charged with the attempted murder of fellow ninja Uchiha Sasuke, who you were ordered to safely escort back to Konoha. Because of your gross negligence and complete disregard for his safety, we of this tribunal have settled upon your punishment."




Yeah, something like that woulda be better. Though I can't seriously write that myself because I believe its really laughable for Naruto to get exiled for doing something so silly. That's almost like a cop getting put in jail for shooting a bad guy he was told to bring in. Punishment must fit the crime right? So him being banished for beating up Sasuke is in a way retarded don't you think? =/



Next is this little tidbit about exile.
Exile is defined as: 
1. 	expulsion from one's native land by authoritative decree.
2. 	the fact or state of such expulsion: to live in exile.
3. 	a person banished from his or her native land.
4. 	prolonged separation from one's country or home, as by force of circumstances: wartime exile.
5. 	anyone separated from his or her country or home voluntarily or by force of circumstances.
or when used as a verb
verb (used with object)
6. 	to expel or banish (a person) from his or her country; expatriate.
7. 	to separate from country, home, etc.: Disagreements exiled him from his family. 
Basically, when you're exiled you are not put on a time limit or whatever so I would rewrite this:

*Spoiler*: __ 




'What the hell is going on!' Was Naruto's thoughts at this time. Naruto looked her right in the eyes, "And what is that Lady Hokage?"

"You will be exiled from the Village of Konoha and Fire Country for no more then six years Uzumaki." She said. 

Naruto was now in shook at what he had just heard, he could not believe this was happening to him. "Y-you what?" 

"Uzumaki, you are here by exiled from this Village for no more then six years by the order of the Council and Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village... If you return before exile order is up, then we will have no choice but to kill you." 




To something like this :
*Spoiler*: __ 



"Exiled!" Even as he heard it, he could not seriously believe what had just been said. He'd done his job...did it the best that could considering the circumstances. He stared up at Tsunade more out of confusion that anger.
"You are hereby banished from this village, never to return. If any attempt is made by you to return, then we shall be forced to use any means necessary to expel you from our lands." 




And now for the last part:


*Spoiler*: __ 




She then looked down at the document right in front of her and then stamped it, she then gave it to one of the ANBU in the room. He then walked up to Naruto and gave him the document. 

The ANBU then said, "Sorry kid." Naruto took it and then read the document, it was not good at all, not one bit!

'I can never be Hokage now, they've kill my Dream. The Council kill it, no it was Tsunade who has killed my Dream. I have Dream a Dream, now that Dream is lost to me!' He thought to himself. 

"T-this can't be r-real..." Naruto said. 

"It is Uzumaki." Tsunade said. 

"No, n-no... You can't do this to me, I did my job out there. He was trying to kill me out there!" 

"Uzumaki." She try to say to him. 

"And now you're all exiling me for HIM!" 

"Naruto." She said again. 

"NO, NO, I won't do this, not for him." 

"NARUTO!"Tsunade screamed it this time at him. 

"NOOO! I'm not some tool or weapon of this Village, I'm one of it's Ninjas you son's of bitchs!" Naruto was now very pissed off, and so was Tsunade. 

"IT IS YOU DEMON... Now get the hell out of my Village... You have one week Uzumaki."




Okay, I understand what you're trying to convey, but again the emotional backing and sense just isn't there. Dialogue seems way out of place for two people who have something like a mother-son connection. Remember, Tsunade believes in Naruto (hence that necklace she gave him) and not to mention that if someone is getting exiled, they would only have but so much time to pack what they needed and then be given the boot. I one of those people who believe subtly is alot more powerful than loud harsh action.
So, again here we go:

*Spoiler*: __ 



Tsunade set down the stack of papers in her hands and began stamping them in all in succession. With every sound the stamp made when it connected with the paper, Naruto could hear every dream he had ever had shatter one by one. After she finished stamping, she removed one sheet of paper from the pile and handed it to an awaiting ANBU aide.
The aide slowly crossed the room, looking more like an executioner than mere aide. He stopped an arms length away from Naruto before he handed over the paper. Naruto stared at the sheet of paper for what seemed like hours before he took it. Holding it inbetween trembling hands he read. His eye growing wider as he neared the end of the document.

"Its a lie," Naruto's voice nearly cracked as he finished reading the paper.
"It's not a lie Naruto." Tsunade said softly. 
"No,n-no..." Naruto finally began to raise his voice. "You can't do this to me! I did my job the best I could! You have no reason to do this to me! NONE!"
"Naruto," Tsunade started to say but Naruto continued on.
"You people are exiliing me, for defending myself! Are you people idiots? Are you all insane? What is wrong with you people? I did nothing wrong! I did nothing wrong!"
"Naruto!" Tsunade stood up suddenly, knocking over her chair. She braced herself against the desk in front of her with her palms.
"No, I won't accept this. I can't accept this! Didn't you people believe in me at one point? Didn't you say that you'd believe in me!? Or was I just some tool for you to use and throw away this entire time?"
"Naruto!" Tsunade's scream silenced the entire room. She stared down angrily at Naruto, and he glared back at her still confused. "Get out...just get out." She said finally.




I could go on and on and on >.> but I think you really hate me by now.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 23, 2009)

I've been editing C1 of Assassin's Creed right now, I will do more work on this chapter in time, but tall me if I need more work the chapter.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 23, 2009)

<.< I know I'm going to regret asking this, but would you like me to do a complete rundown of everything, or is my above example more than enough?


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 23, 2009)

The first one is a enough, I just what to know if it's better then my first try. And I will be doing more work on the plot of this story, and I do have a plan for this story.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 23, 2009)

Reaper of the Mist said:


> The first one is a enough, I just what to know if it's better then my first try. And I will be doing more work on the plot of this story, and I do have a plan for this story.



It is _better_ but like I said, needs some touch up. Other than the plot, my main issue is with the composition. When you wrote the line: Naruto was escorted into the chamber by some ANBU. I cringed. There needs to be a number there, not just 'some'. Depending on which Naruto you're using (post or pre timeskip) the amount of ANBU necessary would be very important. You got the right idea with ANBU being present due to Naruto being there, but the word some just kinda lightens the mood somewhat. I'm going to assume you're going for dark, so not knowing the number of guards around Naruto at that specific time affects the atmosphere of the story heavily.

And again, knowing I'm gonna beat a dead horse to pulp here, Naruto getting exiled for 'harming' Sasuke is bullshit =/ and that's the nicest way I can convey how I feel about that. Though you're probably gonna continue using that plot device, despite me saying this. Just take into account the legal system where you live. Usually the punishment fits the crime right? So try and figure out something that would seriously warrant exile. Also, if you want to awesome, instead of making Tsunade all for this exile shyte, try and have her fight for him. Better yet, have his friends fight for him. By now everyone believes in Naruto, so I think this fic would actually benefit from that kind've angle. Besides I don't think that even Kakashi would stand by and just let Naruto be exiled for something silly. It would go against everything he ever preached.

But then again I know this is just an Xover fic so it might be hard to do without actually exiling him. I challenge you to think of something different...or even Better. 

I double dog dare you.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 24, 2009)

I am now working on C2 of Assassin's Creed at this time and I will do more editing on C1 of this story.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 26, 2009)

I'd like to see an edited chpt 1 prior to you moving on....that's just me though.


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## shadowdragon23 (Sep 26, 2009)

Did you guys notice nobody else is posting in this thread?


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 26, 2009)

shadowdragon23 said:


> Did you guys notice nobody else is posting in this thread?



You must be under the impression that I care about something as insignificant as that =/ Besides....you posted too, so HA!


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## Reaper of the Mist (Sep 28, 2009)

*St 2: C2, The Assassin's Work Page 8*

Name: Assassin's Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 2, The Assassin's work 
Story: 2. 
______________________________

"Talking." 
'Thoughts.' 
______________________________

(The Forest of Konoha.) 

Altaïr, Malik and the other two Assassins were now walking out of the forest of Konoha. One of the Assassins turned to Altaïr and said, "So Naru-, I mean Altaïr. Do you want to know where we're going?" 

Altaïr turned to this man as they walked the forest, he then asked them, "Is it all right to ask, I mean we're not ever out of the forest yet?" 

Malik turned back to them and said, "Go for it Altaïr, ask away." "All right, so where are we going anyways, oh and by the way. What's your guys names?" 

"My name is Rush, it's nice to meet you Altaïr." Rush said. 

"My name is Roxas, Altaïr. Good to meet you, and as for where we are going, it's called Masyaf. It's our own hidden Village." Roxas said. 

 "Very cool... I can't wait to get there and see it." Altaïr said. 

Malik then said to Altaïr, "When we get to Masyaf Altaïr, your training in the Assassin's arts well begin. One of the first things you must learn about us is the Assassin's Creed." 

Altaïr asked, "Is this Creed like a Shinobi's Nindô?" 

"In a way, the Assassin's Creed is a set of three tenets we live by. The first tenet is, do no harm to the innocent. The second tenet is, to be discrete in your work, use the people around you to hide in plain sight to mast your intent. The third and last tenet is, do not compromise the Brotherhood or the Sisterhood." Malik said. 

"The Creed sounds a lot like my old Nindô, it's nice to know that I don't have to kill the good people of this world." Altaïr said. 

Just then six Sound Ninja jumped out of the trees right in front of the Assassins, one of the Sound Ninjas walked up to them and said, "Gave us the Nine-Tailed Fox's Jinchûriki, or you three can die!" 

Malik, Roxas and Rush all flicked they wrists. Their hidden blades all shot ready for the kill. 

Malik then said, "We can't do that Ninjas, but what we can do is kill you!" The Assassin's then ran at the Sound Ninjas, Malik then jumped up into the air. 

He then came down on the leader of the Sound Ninja, blade first. Roxas at the same time, ran up to one of them and put his blade right into the Nin's throat. 

He then kicked a another one back, by hitting him in the stomac. Rush then moved in as fast as he could on one of the Ninjas, he first hit the Nin right in the face. He then came around the Ninja's back and slammed his blade home, 

One of the Sound Ninja's then made a ran for Altaïr, he turned just in time to see the Ninja coming right at him. 

He then got out one of his kunais and stab the Ninja in the chest. Roxas had just killed the Ninja he had kick some time ago. 

Altaïr and the Assassin's then walked up to the last Sound Ninja as Malik said, "How did you know he was leaving Konoha today?" 

"Who the hell are you people?" The Sound Ninja said. 

"If you do not tell us how you knew he was leaving, we are going to kill you. So who told you." 

"All right, all right... It was some old guy and his men in Konoha who told Lord Orochimaru that the Jinchûriki was leaving the Village today." The Sound Ninja said. 

"Does this old man have one arm covered in bandages, and with one good eye?" Malik asked. 

"Yes, yes, that's him all right. Lord Orochimaru was very pissed off at the Jinchûriki, he what's revenge on the Jinchûriki for what he did on the Uchiha mission, the Uchiha was going to be his new body you see. So he had that old guy banish the Jinchûriki so Lord Orochimaru could do what he ever he wanted to do to him." 

"So it was Danzo and his Root ANBU who are working with Orochimaru, that's why you were banished Altaïr. For Orochimaru's revenge." Malik said. 

"Part of the Council hates and what's me dead too, and now so does Orochimaru, and it's all because of Sasuke or the Fox in me. If this Danzo or his Root came for me again, I'm going to have to kill them." Altaïr said. 

Malik turned to the Ninja and said, "Is that all?" "One of his men came and told us that he was leaving the village today, we had to move right away. That's all I know, please don't kill me." 

"Sorry but you have to die." Malik then cut the Ninja's throat. Roxas looked up at the trees and said to others, "Malik, more Ninjas are coming, we have to move now." 

"All right, Altaïr, it's time to go." 

"Good bye Konoha." Altaïr then ran as fast as he could, his new life as a Assassin had begin. 

END OF CHAPTER


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 2, 2009)

I am now working on C3 of the story Assassin's Creed at this time.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 4, 2009)

*St 2: C3, A Ninja no more Page 9*

Name: Assassin's Creed
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 3, A Ninja no more 
Story: 2. 
______________________________

"Talking." 
'Thoughts.' 
______________________________

(The Forest of Konoha.) 

Kakashi and Kurenai were now running as fast as they could through the forest of Konoha, the Hokage had ordered both Kakashi and Kurenai to keep an eye on Naruto until he was out of Konoha. 

It was at this time that Kurenai saw something up ahead of them, she then said to him, "Kakashi look up ahead." "What is it Kurenai?" He asked her. "I think there's something or someone up ahead of us Kakashi." She said. 

"All right maybe, just maybe it's Naruto?" Kakashi said to her, but all they saw when they got there was the cut up body's of the Sound Ninjas. 

"What the fuck is going on here Kakashi, and what the hell is the Sound doing here? How did they know he was leaving, who the hell did this and where is Naruto?" Kurenai said to him as she looked around the forest. 

Kakashi then walked up to one of the body's and looked at his wound, he then moved to a another one and saw the same wound again and thought, 'Not good... It just had to be them.' 

He then turned his head and looked up at her and then said, "I know who did this." "Who... Who could have done this Kakashi?" Kurenai asked him. 

"This is work of Assassins." He said.  

"Assassins... Did they kill Naruto too?" She asked him. "No... I would say they took him with them, they saved him Kurenai." Kakashi said. 

She looked at the body's and said to him, "How... How did they both know that he was leaving the village today?" 

"I don't know, but we have to get back to Konoha as fast as we can and tell the Hokage about all of this right now come on." 

"But what about Naruto Kakashi, we just can't leave him with them?" She said. 

"Believe me on this one Kurenai, he's safer with them for now. Now come on we have to move and get back to the village right now!" Kakashi said to her as they ran back to the village as fast as they could. 

(Root base, Konoha.) 

Danzo turned his head from the boy he was training at this time to see one of his very best Roots walking up to him, Danzo then said, "What is it?" 

"My Lord... All of Orochimaru's Sound Ninja have been killed, by who we do not know at this time my Lord." The Root said. 

 "And what of the Jinchûriki?" Danzo asked him. 

"There was no body, what should we do now my Lord?" He asked his Lord. 

"Nothing for now, he may be of some help to us in the future. But for now we can do nothing... Send a message to Orochimaru about all of this and to keep his eyes open and on the look out for the Jinchûriki." Danzo said. 

"Yes my Lord." The Root said, as he walked out of the base's training room, Danzo just turned back to the boy's training. 

(Hokage's Tower, Konoha.) 

"The Assassins you say Kakashi?" Tsunade asked. "Yes Lady Hokage, I know they work when I see it my Lady. It was them who killed the Sound Ninja." Kakashi said. 

"But who told both Sound and the Assassins that Naruto was leaving the village today... Could it be Danzo who told them both?" Kurenai said. 

"Danzo and the Sound yes, him and the Assassins, oh hell no. They want to kill him big time." Kakashi said. 

Tsunade then said, "It was Danzo who called for Naruto to be banished from the village in the first place, so I can see him doing this." 

"So what do we do now my Lady?" Kurenai said. 

  "Well, we can't prove anything at this time right now, and we can't tell the Council... Kakashi, Kurenai, this is now a SS-Class secret of the village now. And as for Naruto, well we will see him again." Tsunade said. 

7 Years Latter 

(Assassin's tower, Masysf.)  

Altaïr and his very pregnant wife Dove were now walking back into the village of Masysf, it was the village of the Assassins and they're home.

Dove was just like her love, a Jinchûriki. Like him, she had a Biju in her to. Her Biju was the Two-Tailed Cat spirit, her given name was Yugito. But her Assassin name was now Dove. 

As they were walking up to the tower of the village, it was time to see the master. Dove looked up ahead and saw a old friend of theirs. 

"Ah so they return to us at last, it took you two long a enough to get back here." Rush said to them.  

"Move Rush, we have to see the master." Altaïr said. 

"Yes, yes, no doubt you two are eager to put your tongues to his boot." "A another word like that and I'll put my blades to your throat." Altaïr said to him. 

"Ha ha ha, Safety and Peace my brother and sister." "Safety and Peace brother, it's good to see again. Is the master in?" Altaïr asked him.  

"Yes he is, he what's to see you two for a job or something like that up in the tower." Rush said to them. 

"Thank you old friend." Dove said to him as they walked into the tower. 

END OF CHAPTER 



(A/N: This is what Naruto or Altaïr as he called by the Assassins will look like.) 

​
(A/N: This is what Naruto's hidden blades will look like.) 

​


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## alwayswithyou (Oct 5, 2009)

N1nj45tyl3 is quite right.. Sorry.

This fanfic does have the potential 

However. Like N1nja45tyl3 has pointed out, you do have areas to work on, quite a few. I like how you are attempting to merge several manga's and a game into a story. Will be very interesting to keep up with your fanfic once the areas of error have been fixed !

Please don't take my words the wrong way, I appreciate your effort to provide us readers with your story. Just compliment your creative mind with the proper and basic foundation of writing and you will be a winner mate.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Oct 7, 2009)

alwayswithyou said:


> N1nj45tyl3 is quite right.. Sorry.
> 
> This fanfic does have the potential
> 
> ...



See, I'm not just a prick...I might actually be onto something.
^^d anyhoo honestly I'm going to stop following this fic because I think my point has been made...for the most part. I still have issues with how things are working out, but meh, not my fic, not my problem right? I'll leave you with this little tidbit though : Where's the conflict? As in Naruto is too accepting of Malaak (sp?) and just gives into this whole altair thing all to quickly. No sense of discovery, for me means nothing interesting enough to follow. (If it were me, I would've had Naruto at least change his name at the end of the story just to show how much he's grown.)

Also, you're basically turning Naruto into Altair from the game Assassins Creed. Ok, I get it. But if I was going to do this Xover I would use Altair as his own unique character...like I would have Spider-Man fight alongside Batman, instead of changing him into Batman. Or even use Altair's and allow Naruto to keep his name, or something that would seem fitting for him, while still keeping the two characters seperate. All you're doing is what I call "cut and paste' Which is as I explained earlier, simply replacing one character with another by simply changing the name. 

Either way you're not writing this for me so I'm not expecting you to change anything as that is what you are most comfortable with.
Last and most importantly, find a beta-and use the shit out of him/her (i highly recommend finding a girl who can write. Girls tend to be a little more on the creative side when it comes to words.) Only then will this really take off.

*pops smoke*


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## The Breaker (Oct 8, 2009)

He did alright in the storyline, the actual structure needs work, a few mistakes are fine however their are a lot.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Oct 9, 2009)

Zansatsu86 said:


> He did alright in the storyline, the actual structure needs work, a few mistakes are fine however their are a lot.



Ok, so like I know I said I wasn't going to follow, but I have to reply to this one, and then I'm seriously popping smokey-smoke.

Storyline so far is : Naruto exiled from village to become an assassin.

Why its lame: 1) Naruto being exiled has been done for. 2) The reason why Naruto's exile has been done before. Though while not as epically lame as all the other uses...its still pretty dumb. Again its like telling a cop "Go arrest Paris Hilton!" and then when he shoots and kills her because she had threaten him with a gun saying "You're hereby sentenced to life in prison for murdering a celebrity."  3) Assassin and Ninja are two very similiar...if not the same type of...'class' if you will. Though yes, there are differences its like turning an Army infantryman into a Marine. Yes they're different (in more way than I can describe, but each group has its perks or what not.) But at the same time they too identical to not be pretty much the same thing. >.> I hope you understand. So Naruto decides he's gonna become an Assassin...great got it. But he's a ninja, maybe not the brightest bulb in the x-mas tree but still a highly skilled and trained spy/assassin/intelgatherer/etc... The only thing the 'Assassin' folks could truly (realistically) train the poor boy in is weaponry...which he would/could quickly pick up.

Story structure- Yes needs work, gets the point across of whats happening...but grammer, spelling and composition needs a bit of touch up. Again, needs a beta to make this story readable. Needs some original thought to make this story enjoyable. But meh, what do i know. I still mess up myself ^^d


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 9, 2009)

I am now working on C4 of this story, Assassin's Creed. I will be editing the chapters as well.


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## TenchiOfTheMist (Oct 11, 2009)

quite good. there are some plot holes that number nin (lol) already said. also, there should be something where the assassin leader has a flashback of how they got there. that would let the reader know a bit of history of them. one beta reader is not usually enough, i would recommend a few for the difference in opinions.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 16, 2009)

*St 2: C4, The Beginning of the Darkness  Page 10*

Name: Assassin's Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Chapter: 4, The Beginning of the Darkness 
Story: 2. 
______________________________

"Talking." 
'Thoughts.' 
______________________________

(Assassin's Tower, Masysf.) 

Malik looked up from his work to see both Altaïr and Dove were walking up to him, he just smiled and said, "Welcome back my friends, how was your mission in Cloud Village." 

Altaïr then pulled out the blood-stained feather from one of his bags and held it up for Malik to see. 

"Yuki Hayate is dead old friend, Killer-Bee's information and intel and our recom helped us go in for the kill." 

"What us Naruto, I'm pregnant here. This time it was all you." Dove said. 

"Yugito you helped out big time on this mission ok." 

"The mission is done you two, and a very good job at that... But we all have a new problem now I am sad to say." Malik said. 

"What do you mean Master?" 

He gave a sad look to them as he said, "We have been betrayed my friends... And it was by one of our own." 

They both had a look of shock at what they had just heard. "Who? Who was it that betrayed us Master... And why would one of us do this?" Dove asked him. 

"It was your old friend... It was Al Mualim who has done this." 

Dove was more shocked then before. "It can't be, he's our friend." 

"I knew he wanted to be the next leader of us, but to betrayed both the Brotherhood and Sisterhood." Altaïr said to himself. 

Malik then looked into Altaïr's eyes, he saw the betrayal that was there and Altaïr felt at this time. Dove was the same, just not as bad. 

"Naruto, Yugito... I know this is hard for you two as it is for me, but there is more." 

Both Altaïr and Dove turned their heads to look at their old Master in his eyes as Altaïr asked, "What do you mean more... What has he done to us now Malik." 

Malik then gave him a black book, it was a Shinodi's Bingo book. 

"Oh shit... Al Mualim, what have you done old friend?" Dove said. 

"Go to page 97, your not going to like it." 

Altaïr opened the book to page 97, it was just as Malik said it would be. 

Dove looked into her husband's eyes and asked, "Naruto... What's wrong?" 

"It's us Yugito, me, you, Malik... My god it's all of us. He's compromise all of us, he's compromise the Brotherhood. It just go's on and on." Altaïr told her. 

END OF CHAPTER


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 18, 2009)

I am now working on C5 of this story at this time. By the way if someone what's to be this story's Beta Reader, please go for it, I'll see what you can do.


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## TenchiOfTheMist (Nov 3, 2009)

ooooh.... cliff hanger... ______
............................................||O  <-head and arms hanging from cliff
............................................|\/   <-neck and arms
............................................|/\   <-feet
............................................|
(supposed to be a guy hanging off of a cliff)

i'll be the beta, just send the story to duncancolorado@yahoo.com


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## Reaper of the Mist (Nov 6, 2009)

All right, it works for me. I will PM you the next chapter as soon as I am done with it.


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## Reaper of the Mist (Dec 14, 2009)

*St 2: C5, Someone's coming Page 11*

Name: Assassin's Creed 
Author: Reaper of the Mist 
Beta by: TenchiOfTheMist 
Chapter: 5, Someone's coming 
______________________________

("Talking.") 
('Thoughts.') 
______________________________ 

(Assassin's Tower, Masysf.) 

Dove turned to her old Master and friend and asked, "So you're telling us that he has compromised every one of us... What the hell has he done, Malik?" 

He then glanced down and said, "One week ago, Al Mualim went homicidal on both myself and two other Masters, he killed them. This was just after we told him he would not be the next leader of the Assassins or the Village."

"He was always so arrogant at times, I just can't believe he would do this." Alta?r said. 

"He then asked us who the next leader would be." Malik said to them. 

"And what did you say Master, who well it be?" 

"It will be you, Naruto." 

Alta?r just looked at him. "Say what?" 

"Naruto, I am an old man now, if I am to die or be killed you, will be new leader of both the Assassins and the Village." 

Dove then lookd into Alta?r's eyes and said, "You will be a great leader my love." 

He just smiled at her, then asked, "But, why me Malik?" 

"Well, for 3 reasons, and the first one is you are a Master-ranked Assassin like myself and Yugito here, as well as you two both being Kage-level ninja in combat."

"Ok, that's one, but what about two and three?" 

"Two, you are not arrogant or greedy, you are a very kind man to all. And as for three, well, you have kept to the Creed at all times." 

Alta?r then gave his old Master a look and said, "I see... And I do thank you for this Master... Is something wrong Master, what is it?" 

"We are also moving the Village as well... Because of Al Mualim, all of the Ninja Villages now know where we are at this time."  

"I know that look, there's more." Dove asked. 

"You are right, there is more. We are also going to Konoha, and you two are coming with me." Malik said. 

Dove just looked at him and said, "Oh great... Oh no!" 

"What? What is it Yugito?" Alta?r asked her. 

"The baby, the baby is coming right now." She said to them. 

"Oh shit!" 

"Oh thank god we have two weeks before we have to go to Konoha." Malik muttered to himself. 

Just then, he saw one of his man running up to them with a distressed look on his face. 

Malik sighed. "Now what?" 

END OF CHAPTER


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