# Naruto doujinshi (chapter 1)



## mario1092 (Sep 15, 2008)

so....I tried to draw a doujinshi of my own....again ^~^;;;
I don't know if I failed but...it's up to you to decide 

this story contains many spoilers...so if anyone only watches the anime or isn't up to date with the manga might not want to read it....so DON'T (it's better not to anyway =_=;;

so..um....
the cover: 

page 1: 
page 2: 
page 3: 
page 4: 
page 5: 
page 6: 
page 7: 
(I'm sorry I'm updating so late everyone~~ 
this last page is the beginning of a brief comic relief so no serious development yet 
...um  here's a little summary:
the first 5 pages were a nightmare Tsunade had about Naruto being caught by Akatsuki..when she wakes up she finds all those Konoha ninjas sleeping
in her office...I know it sounds a little broken now but I hope it will become more clear as I post more pages )
I'll update a page once in a while and probably create a new thread with all of the first chapter soon... 
that's all for now ^_^
any advices and criticism is welcome ^^


----------



## Hunted by sister (Sep 15, 2008)

Damn, Kisame on Page 5 is pure win and awesomness. I`m looking forward for continuation.

I`ve noticed that you`re good with angles, but face from front are... worse. Tsunade lacks neck, and Kisame on page 3 is... well... weird (bottom panel).

//HbS


----------



## ladyweasel (Sep 15, 2008)

Nice. Can't wait for chapter two.


----------



## Black★Star (Sep 15, 2008)

I hate the storyline but the drawings are awesome. Naruto cant be sealed


----------



## mario1092 (Sep 15, 2008)

you hate the storyline?...
I mean...it's true that I haven't written the story yet and it's only in my head but...I'd really like to know what you dislike so much about it....I want to improve my writting as well as my drawing....please tell me more ^^



ladyweasel said:


> Nice. Can't wait for chapter two.


thanks ^____^
but this is just 6 pages,I've got lots more pages to draw until I finish the first chapter ^^
I'm glad you like it 



Hunted by sister said:


> Damn, Kisame on Page 5 is pure win and awesomness. I`m looking forward for continuation.
> 
> I`ve noticed that you`re good with angles, but face from front are... worse. Tsunade lacks neck, and Kisame on page 3 is... well... weird (bottom panel).
> 
> //HbS



haha thanks ^^ 
...I know there was something wrong with Kisame when I drew that panel...but I just couldn't figure it out >~<
...thanks for pointing it out though...now I know it wasn't just me 
and Tsunade...I know I could have drawn her better but I think the neck is supposed to be like that...it's that angle...she's not sitting straight up...I don't know how to explain it Dx
...I might be wrong though...

thanks for the comment


----------



## Hunted by sister (Sep 15, 2008)

So, she`s in position of a typical overworked clerk after 10 hours of paperwork. I get it.

//HbS


----------



## Peaches (Sep 15, 2008)

Wow I like that. I love how you drew the eyes. Very Nice! ^^


----------



## Pengu-Yasha (Sep 16, 2008)

Looks awesome, you're great at this!!!


----------



## Kakash San (Sep 16, 2008)

wow the drawings are awesome dude you are a genius


----------



## Ashiya (Sep 16, 2008)

It looks awesome so far, and I like the various angles and perpectives which you've used.  Keep them coming!


----------



## Euraj (Sep 16, 2008)

Seems pretty interesting so far. Keep making those.


----------



## Velvet (Sep 16, 2008)

*oh my....lovely work*


----------



## itachi0982 (Sep 16, 2008)

wow thats good nice job


----------



## piccun? (Sep 16, 2008)

wow, that's really well done. 

Awesome


----------



## Die Heinii (Nov 2, 2008)

*____*
Very nice ♥
I can't wait to see the 2nd chapter X3


----------



## Yαriko (Nov 2, 2008)

is really good

try and colour them


----------



## Yakushi Kabuto (Nov 2, 2008)

Kisame sure does go "heh" fairly often, I love the way he talked to Konan at the start though. Page 4 looks really good, as does the crazy angle for Kisame in the 5th one. So it was all a dream? Or her thoughts on what could be happening to Naruto right now? Either way, nicely done, curious to see where you go with this.


----------



## PlayStation (Nov 3, 2008)

Great job. I love the way you draw Kisame. It's awesome 

Can't wait for the next chapter.


----------



## Tieria Erde (Nov 3, 2008)

me likes. I'll wait for more.


----------



## Yumi (Nov 3, 2008)

Nice job!
Try to colour it and it will be perfect


----------



## TatsuBon (Nov 3, 2008)

it's cool!
keep it up


----------



## N A R U T O (Nov 3, 2008)

Wow it's really awesome


----------



## Tomato Sauce (Nov 3, 2008)

Awesome, I love how you handle some of the perspectives like the page 5 with Kisame. It is very cool, plus the whole order reminds me a lot of Kishi's work...Keep up the good work 

Can we have a phantom Itachi or Madara?


----------



## tdsuchiha (Nov 3, 2008)

Great job ... Waiting for the second chapter ..


----------



## Gymnopedie (Nov 3, 2008)

Wow, That was really good. I liked that, please keep up the good work!


----------



## Rinme (Nov 3, 2008)

Wow, It looks very good.


----------



## Red Sands (Nov 3, 2008)

*subscribes*

I'll be looking forward to more from you.


----------



## Zaru (Nov 6, 2008)

That's pretty impressive, I have to say. You're not afraid to draw strong expressions, which is a plus. Your use of screen tone is good as well, it gives it a manga-ish feel.


----------



## Redstripe (Nov 6, 2008)

I love it!

More Konan please!


----------



## Disturbia (Nov 6, 2008)

Very interesting plot and fine art, I can't wait for you to update. :>


----------



## mario1092 (Nov 6, 2008)

Yakushi Kabuto said:


> Kisame sure does go "heh" fairly often, I love the way he talked to Konan at the start though. Page 4 looks really good, as does the crazy angle for Kisame in the 5th one. So it was all a dream? Or her thoughts on what could be happening to Naruto right now? Either way, nicely done, curious to see where you go with this.




thank you so much!
I always love it when you comment in my threads!
um..yes it was all a nightmare Tsunade had about Naruto ^^
she is going to have a major role in this chapter too 



> *____*
> Very nice ♥
> I can't wait to see the 2nd chapter X3


thank you  


> :hollie :hollie me likes. I'll wait for more.


thank you 


> Awesome, I love how you handle some of the perspectives like the page 5 with Kisame. It is very cool, plus the whole order reminds me a lot of Kishi's work...Keep up the good work
> 
> Can we have a phantom Itachi or Madara?




thank you
..well yes Itachi might appear for a little while...but only for a little while before he 
*Spoiler*: __ 



dies (I don't know if I should spoiler tag this here Dx)



..the timeline is going to be quite messed up 
I'm sorry for that..but it wouldn't be very difficult to understand..I hope 
..about Madara...yes he will appear too...as he is going to be fighting someone...but I can't tell anything more 

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!
I hope I don't disappoint you


----------



## mario1092 (Nov 6, 2008)

page 7 is up


----------



## Zookini (Nov 6, 2008)

I really like it


----------



## valentine_ryuuga (Nov 6, 2008)

heeee that's impressive !! good job !!


----------



## Sunkeye (Nov 6, 2008)

You are a awesome drawer. Keep it up.


----------



## DeterminedIdiot (Nov 6, 2008)

looks great. cant wait for more


----------

