# You with Pocket Knife Vs. Grizzy Bear



## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

You in the forest and this bear is hungey for meat like you and charges at you, so you pull out your pocket knife that is about six inches long in a fight for you life and need to injure the bear badly or killed it in order to survive, so will you win or will the bear win, discuss?


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## The World (Apr 21, 2008)

Lulz at this thread.
Ill throw the knife at the bears eye and run.


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## Girl I don't care (Apr 21, 2008)

@emperor time: you even managed to turn this kind of thread(which normally only requires common sense) into a stomp. what a legend.


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

You can do that too when talking to Roxxas. But this thread is very vague and imaginative though?


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## neodragzero (Apr 21, 2008)

I can understand if you don't know about certain characters but how exactly is it that complicated to figure out what happens when a person with just a knife is fighting a bear out for their blood. You couldn't have at least doped it up? Remove three of its limbs? Anything to not make it so that you created another stomp thread?


Roxxas said:


> Lulz at this thread.
> Ill throw the knife at the bears eye and run.



I actually would pay good money to watch your attempt that run. And I thought an eating contest between a Grizzly and Takeru Kobayashi was harsh.


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

Ok then make it a teenaged bear instead.


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## Girl I don't care (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> You can do that too when talking to Roxxas. But this thread is very vague and imaginative though?



what are you trying to say? confuse me much


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

I was saying that you are allowed to run and hide from the bear and I thought I did a good job this time around.


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## neodragzero (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> Ok then make it a teenaged bear instead.



What exactly is a teenaged bear? Anything halfway to a full grown grizzly still mauls you to death. Forget about even running away. Your OP even eliminates the option to play dead...


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

Ok then you can have two knifes instead.


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## neodragzero (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> Ok then you can have two knifes instead.



...This is what happens when kids don't watch enough discovery channel or animal planet. Damn you Spongebob Squarepants.

Seriously, no, an extra knife does nothing except increasing the likelihood of pissing off the bear even more to maul you. None of us is freaking Brock Sampson nor Hanma Jack.


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## Lina Inverse (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> You in the forest and this bear is hungey for meat like you and charges at you, so you pull out your pocket knife that is about six inches long in a fight for you life and need to injure the bear badly or killed it in order to survive, so will you win or will the bear win, discuss?


Give me a pocket BEAM knife then we'll talk


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## Girl I don't care (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> I was saying that you are allowed to run and hide from the bear and I thought I did a good job this time around.



well even a teenaged bear would weigh at least 200kg or so. with a gun and a good distance then i might have a chance. even that's kinda risky. 
just a question do you actually think you would have a chance in the given conditions?


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## neodragzero (Apr 21, 2008)

And would you tell of us where we can actually see you attempt this idea of yours? My sense of humor, and my wallet, would really appreciate.


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## Girl I don't care (Apr 21, 2008)

neodragzero said:


> And would you tell of us where we can actually see you attempt this idea of yours? My sense of humor, and my wallet, would really appreciate.



my idea of a gun or emperor time's idea?


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## The World (Apr 21, 2008)

neodragzero said:


> I actually would pay good money to watch your attempt that run. And I thought an eating contest between a Grizzly and Takeru Kobayashi was harsh.



Lol i could make it. If im lucky enough for the knife to actually land in the bear's eye it would be trying to get that knife out of its eye and not even bother with me which would buy me some time.


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## neodragzero (Apr 21, 2008)

Roxxas said:


> Lol i could make it. If im lucky enough for the knife to actually land in the bear's eye it would be trying to get that knife out of its eye and not even bother with me which would buy me some time.



You must be a pretty expert knife thrower to hit a moving grizzly bear right in its eye.


xheadPWNS said:


> my idea of a gun or emperor time's idea?



Emperor Time's idea. It's more likely to have a result that makes me laugh while recording it to sell it off to some network that needs footage of animal attacks or just general insanity.


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

I was trying to be creative this time around.


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## Lord Genome (Apr 21, 2008)

Wow

I run like hell, try to find a squirrel or other small animal, pray to god that the bear got distracted or hasnt caught up yet,throw the dead animal at it and run


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## neodragzero (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> I was trying to be creative this time around.



That's one way to describe it.

I'll at least pos rep you for the amusing thread.


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## Girl I don't care (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> I was trying to be creative this time around.



or do you just hate us?


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## omg laser pew pew! (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> I was trying to be creative this time around.



Good work

There has never been threads involving the OBD members and animals before. 

You are a pioneer


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

neodragzero said:


> That's one way to describe it.
> 
> I'll at least pos rep you for the amusing thread.



Thanks for the pos rep.


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## Murderous Intent (Apr 21, 2008)

Imagine that bear's name is uchiha grizzly and he killed off your entire family. You want revenge on him so badly that you dont care if it costs you your life. Even if you have to steal the devil's fruit, you're on a path of vengeance. You accidently run into him on a certain occasion but damn it, this one time, you didnt bring your bazooka. You just have a sword that looks quite the same as a certain naruto character that is focussed on killing weasels.

Can you do it?


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## Gunners (Apr 21, 2008)

I would take the knife and stab my self in either the heart or throat. Fuck getting mauled to death by a bear.


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## thrawn (inactive) (Apr 21, 2008)

I will make a spear with a strong stick and the knife and dig a pit for the bear to fall into and then i will poke the bear to death with the spear.

Go to this link 
Can you give me some suggestions/comments please.


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## Sasori (Apr 21, 2008)

lol can't Grizzlys run at like 40km/h??


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## Yak (Apr 21, 2008)

Where is the 'pray' option?


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

Yak said:


> Where is the 'pray' option?



You can do that too but it better to lodge the knife into the bear brain instead.


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## Gig (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time said:


> You can do that too but it better to lodge the knife into the bear brain instead.



Who the fuck do you think we are a bear would move far to fast for you to aim for the head also your instincts would be telling you to run like fuck for your life. 

I clamp the nearest tree and wait for the bear to fuck off and go eat some one else


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## Blue (Apr 21, 2008)

Give me a katana and we'll talk.


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## Gig (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> Give me a katana and we'll talk.



Lol I’d enjoy watching some idiot armed with a katana trying to take on a blood lusted and hungry grizzly


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## The World (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> Give me a katana and we'll talk.



Not the one from Silent Hill GOD NO! That one suxx


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## Sylar (Apr 21, 2008)

You know that story about some guy wrestling a grizzly bear and killing it? That's bullsh#t. The bear would snap your neck with one swipe of its paw.


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## Shinkirou (Apr 21, 2008)

I'd climb up a tree, and as it climbed up after me I'd jump down while trying to stab the knife in its eye. If that fails, I'll have to rely on the good ol' run and scream for help technique.


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## Gig (Apr 21, 2008)

Shinkirou said:


> I'd climb up a tree, and as it climbed up after me I'd jump down while trying to stab the knife in its eye. If that fails, I'll have to rely on the good ol' run and scream for help technique.



Grizzlys can't clamp trees there to heavy so in theory you would be safe up a tree


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## -18 (Apr 21, 2008)

WTF is this thread?


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## Blue (Apr 21, 2008)

Gig said:


> Lol I?d enjoy watching some idiot armed with a katana trying to take on a blood lusted and hungry grizzly



I probably would, too. But at least the Katana gives you a chance to kill the bear with one blow. With a knife, you'd have to keep stabbing it in the ass where it can't maul you and wait for it to bleed to death. That's not happening.

A katana will give you a longer reach than the bear, and if you catch it from behind, you can gut it. It'll also take off a leg if you've got some strength behind it.



> Not the one from Silent Hill GOD NO! That one suxx


The one from MGS2, ideally. >_>


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## Aldric (Apr 21, 2008)

Did you just imply you could catch a grizzly bear from behind

Who the fuck are you Bilbo Baggins


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## Deleted member 45015 (Apr 21, 2008)

Emperor Time fails yet again.

You do realise that a fully grown, pissed off Grizzy would just take the knife in its stride right before it pounds your skull in to jelly?


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## Shinkirou (Apr 21, 2008)

Gig said:


> Grizzlys can't clamp trees there to heavy so in theory you would be safe up a tree



Orly? Well then we'll stick with step one and just get up a tree. 

I'll be sure to bring multiple knives to chuck at it from a safe distance. As long as it doesn't wise up and chuck em back I think I can win.


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## Blue (Apr 21, 2008)

Aldric said:


> Did you just imply you could catch a grizzly bear from behind
> 
> Who the fuck are you Bilbo Baggins



It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.

Fuck yes I could catch it from behind. The question is whether I could do anything once I'm there.


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## Yak (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.
> 
> Fuck yes I could catch it from behind. The question is whether I could do anything once I'm there.



All you're catching is a cold once he rips your clothes to shreds.


And God be on your side if your entrails aren't attached to them.


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## Sylar (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue, grillizlies are MUCH faster than you are. Not to mention they can smell AND hear you before you could close enough to even annoy it. It would bitchslap your head off before you realized it knew you were there.


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## Violent Man (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.
> 
> Fuck yes I could catch it from behind. The question is whether I could do anything once I'm there.



Bears are very agile. Agile enough that anyone who gets within 2 meters or so of it will find themselves in a sticky situation. They're sense of smell and hearing are good enough to alert them of your presence from a farther distance actually.


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## Aldric (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.



It's a fucking grizzly bear not some obese dude fused to his couch

A HORSE WEIGHS 1100lbs IM 150lbs

THAT TOTALLY MEANS I CAN OUTRUN IT

Jesus Christ what am I even doing here


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## Segan (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.
> 
> Fuck yes I could catch it from behind. The question is whether I could do anything once I'm there.


Gotta wonder why you would think that a Grizzly will calmly let you get on his back and stab his head?

I doubt you would have the guts to do that anyway. Even hypothetically.


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## Emperor Time (Apr 21, 2008)

Gaelek_13 said:


> Emperor Time fails yet again.
> 
> You do realise that a fully grown, pissed off Grizzy would just take the knife in its stride right before it pounds your skull in to jelly?



I already know you hate me.


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## Soul Vibe (Apr 21, 2008)

LMFAOOOOOO

wow

horrible stomping

goodbye world.  i have a pocket knife to protect me from an enraged grizzly bear hellbent on eating me.  I repeat: *a fucking pocket knife*


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## Sasori (Apr 21, 2008)

Only MacGyver could survive with only a pocket knife.

He would use the knife, a blade of grass, and a pebble to create a time machine all in under 1 second, and goes back in time and pushes the grizzlys mum down the stairs while pregnant


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## Kenny Florian (Apr 21, 2008)

I'd kick the bears ass and have sex with his wife.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Apr 21, 2008)

I think the bear would kill me


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## The World (Apr 21, 2008)

I'd tame the bear and make him fight for me because im a Huntard in WoW. 



































































*Spoiler*: __ 



actually im a lock.


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## Zetta (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.
> 
> Fuck yes I could catch it from behind. The question is whether I could do anything once I'm there.



You could stab it in the nads. I'm sure it would *LOVE* that.


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## Banhammer (Apr 21, 2008)

Oh you can if you do exactly as this instructs


*Spoiler*: __


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## The World (Apr 21, 2008)

Banhammer said:


> Oh you can if you do exactly as this instructs
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __



That was quite funny good sir.


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## KazeYama (Apr 21, 2008)

I'd just be like Anthony Hopkins in The Edge and stab the bear with a pointy stick I carved with my pocket knife. 

Or in reality I would play dead and hope the bear doesn't instantly kill me. 

I like how people think they actually stand a chance in a straight fight with a fucking bear though. Either the average person on NF is peak human or most people are just deluded.


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## Sesshoumaru (Apr 21, 2008)

This Sesshoumaru could use a new bear skin rug.


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## Power16 (Apr 21, 2008)

From Swajio's video i see me winning knife or no knife...


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## Girl I don't care (Apr 21, 2008)

Blue said:


> It weighs 800lbs, I weigh 175.
> 
> Fuck yes I could catch it from behind. The question is whether I could do anything once I'm there.



have you seen a bear fight wolves? i'm sure wolves is probably more agile than you so if they're finding it hard to attack without been injured im sure you wouldnt do any better.


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## Soul Vibe (Apr 21, 2008)

Swajio said:


> [YOUTUBE]DfA2jUfuq5U[/YOUTUBE]



LOL what da fuck


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## HumanWine (Apr 21, 2008)

I couldnt take it on a straight fight but I could definely kill it with a pocket knife. So what if it can smell my direction. This isnt the fucking comics where guys have insanly pen point accuracy with their senses. 

I win if I think.


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## Deleted member 45015 (Apr 22, 2008)

Drop the knife and play dead...and hope the Grizzly turns his back as he walks off so I can....

Oh who am I kidding?! I'd probably get mawled to death on the floor or pummelled as I run in fear from it. A pocket-knife isn't helping me.

There's a YouTube video I may even post that has a scientist killed in the mountains by a Grizzly attack. 

The term was "Where his face was there was just _one continual wound_" that damage done by one blow from a Grizzly's swipe It killed the man in _two blows_; one to the chest and one to the face.


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## Shadow Replication 1480 (Apr 22, 2008)

This thread reminds me of The Punisher: Welcome Back, Frank TPB where Frank chin-checks a polar bear and it decapitates Ma Gnucci's last goon in one swipe.


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## Segan (Apr 22, 2008)

Gaelek_13 said:


> Drop the knife and play dead...and hope the Grizzly turns his back as he walks off so I can....
> 
> Oh who am I kidding?! I'd probably get mawled to death on the floor or pummelled as I run in fear from it. A pocket-knife isn't helping me.
> 
> ...


Sure, show the vid.


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## Deleted member 45015 (Apr 22, 2008)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjkTmE--Ntg[/YOUTUBE]

Yes, the guy was stalked for a while and then WTFpwned by a Grizzly.:amazed

There is no question that he knew it was after him as they had what the video describes as a "close encounter" and he even tries to fend it off with Bear Repellant.

2 blows was all it took for the Bear to take a grown man out of the game.


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## Pipboy (Apr 24, 2008)

To kill a grizzly bear you would need some serious gear.  Assuming that you are going to be fighting the bear without guns, which btw is no guaruntee, I would say that you would need A compound hunting bow with a hundred pound draw (at least 50) and 10 fiberglass broad head chisel tipped arrows, a boar spear, hopefully upgraded to modern standards with an extra long handle, at least your own height hopefully more, and a one handed battle axe.  

If you wanted to go melee only, then at least 2 or 3 boar spears and a net would be the best way to go.   An adult grizzly bear could snap one and then you would be up shit creek without a paddle.   A good heavy net would do wonders if it was properly weighed like a gladiators net.

If you wanted to be truley a one weapon man.... seriously good luck, but take a horse killing polearm.   I would suggest a Halberd, Great Spear or Bec-de-corbin.


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## sakuras-double (Apr 24, 2008)

i would go in a river catch a buch of fish and put theem in a pile and then run for it!!!!


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## The World (Apr 24, 2008)

Pipboy said:


> To kill a grizzly bear you would need some serious gear.  Assuming that you are going to be fighting the bear without guns, which btw is no guaruntee, I would say that you would need A compound hunting bow with a hundred pound draw (at least 50) and 10 fiberglass broad head chisel tipped arrows, a boar spear, hopefully upgraded to modern standards with an extra long handle, at least your own height hopefully more, and a one handed battle axe.
> 
> If you wanted to go melee only, then at least 2 or 3 boar spears and a net would be the best way to go.   An adult grizzly bear could snap one and then you would be up shit creek without a paddle.   A good heavy net would do wonders if it was properly weighed like a gladiators net.
> 
> If you wanted to be truley a one weapon man.... seriously good luck, but take a horse killing polearm.   I would suggest a Halberd, Great Spear or Bec-de-corbin.



Or you could walk in huge cumbersome bullet-proof armor with a very long sword.


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## Pipboy (Apr 24, 2008)

They would bury you in that armor.   A bear wouldn't need to cut you he could bludgeon you to death with amazing ease, and you... you would lose mobilty out the wazoo.

Finally.  NEVER EVER BRING A SWORD TO A REAL FIGHT UNLESS EVERYONE ISN'T ARMORED AND NOT A BEAR.  Polearm first, spear, Lance, Halberd.   Second shield and an axe.  Maybe a sword later.  If you are using a sweihander that can be used as a lance... maybe.

EDIT:  There is a reason why both Odin and Ares, gods of war thought that the spear was the ultimate emblem of war.   Because spears are much better at killing people than swords.


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## Lord Genome (Apr 24, 2008)

Takamura punched  bear down


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## Gray Wolf (Apr 24, 2008)

Roxxas said:


> Lulz at this thread.
> Ill throw the knife at the bears eye and run.



I have actually met someone who did this, I don't know if he hit the bears eye.


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## Koerdis (Apr 25, 2008)

I cut out a pound of my own flesh throw it in the opposte direction and run away, then i come back with a strike team.


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