# What modern publishers have taught me about Video Games



## Deathbringerpt (Oct 26, 2013)

- If you buy a game at launch, you've wasted money
- Every game is Game of the Year eventually
- If you even want to consider making an original game, it needs to become a series
- It doesn't need a sequel, it needs a reboot
- We don't need unlockables, we need achievements
- Replay value is DLC
- Every game needs multiplayer
- Anthropomorphic characters are inherently for children
- Performance is less important than graphics; impressions must be made quickly
- 50% of a game's budget is marketing (at least)
- Games absolutely need 200 team members and 4 years of development resulting in a incredibly derivative sequel in an established series or an incredibly derivative new IP that's supposed to become an established series.

Aren't we all smart now, kids?


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## Naruto (Oct 26, 2013)

The industry is now a caricature of itself.


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## Death-kun (Oct 26, 2013)

i r smurt nao


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## Monna (Oct 26, 2013)

Yeah, I'm sick of getting punished for buying a game at launch only to have a much better version released two months later and on top of buying two games, the amount of DLC available is worth a third game itself. Then less than a year later a full sequel is released and the cycle repeats.

DLC is the biggest content copout I've seen. Things that would have been unlockable content in a game made 7 years are reserved for DLC only. It's just not worth it anymore.


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## ShadowReij (Oct 26, 2013)

And my response to that is usually


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## Unlosing Ranger (Oct 26, 2013)

ShadowReij said:


> And my response to that is usually



[YOUTUBE]_v-amXSn5ak[/YOUTUBE]


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## Linkofone (Oct 26, 2013)

What I learned is the breasts and guns will sell games.


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## Agmaster (Oct 26, 2013)

I learned that for all of our complaining, gamers will still eat it up.  We need our distractions?


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## St. YatōKiri_Kilgharrah (Oct 26, 2013)

Hey Death. Before the Night is out you'll have one more shitty thing to add to this list.

The 4th Generation of Curmudgeonly Scumbaggery begins with the 8th Gen.


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## Deathbringerpt (Oct 26, 2013)

^

I don't follow actually, whatdya mean?



Agmaster said:


> I learned that for all of our complaining, gamers will still eat it up.  We need our distractions?



Nerds need to multitask these days.


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## St. YatōKiri_Kilgharrah (Oct 26, 2013)

You'll find out before the week is over or closer to the PS4 launch^


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## thinkingaboutlife (Oct 26, 2013)

Hey instead of giving you content to unlock in a game and give you more stuff to do how about getting an achievement. All you have to do is use the same weapon and kill 40 guys with it fun right?

And spending more money advertising the game than making it is pretty funny to me.

I learned that instead of giving you a full game that you paid full price for, they give you half of the full game and slowly give you the rest for an additional cost.


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## Kagekatsu (Oct 27, 2013)

Selling 3 million copies is considered underperforming
Games need to "Follow the leader" in the hope of attaining success as opposed to doing their own thing.
Platformers are for Nintendo kiddies
Throw out as many buzzwords as possible to make your game sound innovative


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## Mael (Oct 27, 2013)

I've also learned paying off reviewers or having reviewers literally masturbate to your game does wonders for sales.

Case in point, Mass Effect 3 and The Last of Us.


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## Overwatch (Oct 27, 2013)

-No use trying to offer a better service than pirates and profit from it, when you can punish your customers with DRM.


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## thinkingaboutlife (Oct 27, 2013)

Mael said:


> I've also learned paying off reviewers or having reviewers literally masturbate to your game does wonders for sales.
> 
> Case in point, Mass Effect 3 and The Last of Us.



I agree with this 100%.


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## bigduo209 (Oct 29, 2013)

You know local multiplayer? That thing that involves playing games with others in the same physical space? It's dead! Playing games with people is more enjoyable when it requires two copies of a game and two consoles!

Why would you want to have a single online account for console multiplayer? Let's give you three or four more online accounts! We'll also make sure you'll sign up for it to create a false barrier between you and the game you're trying to play!


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## Malvingt2 (Oct 29, 2013)

Mael said:


> I've also learned paying off reviewers or having reviewers literally masturbate to your game does wonders for sales.
> 
> Case in point, Mass Effect 3 and The Last of Us.



Yes this. Also we learned that hard games or games that take times to learn, those games get bad reviews just because.

ZombiU & W101

We need easy games for the reviewers now.


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## Mael (Oct 29, 2013)

Malvingt2 said:


> Yes this. Also we learned that hard games or games that take times to learn, those games get bad reviews just because.
> 
> ZombiU & W101
> 
> We need easy games for the reviewers now.



Dark Souls need not apply.

Oh and don't try to be symbolic or philosophical unless it follows a popular genre.  The Last of Us was essentially like zombies but "brilliant," but Spec Ops was "durr generic shooter."  

Oh and don't forget the U GO GURL mantra that Tomb Raider brought about.


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## Disaresta (Oct 30, 2013)

St NightRazr said:


> You'll find out before the week is over or closer to the PS4 launch^



no need to wait, the ign boards seep nothing but toxic butt hurt 24/7

all the salt in the new tiatanfall article has dehydrated me so much I must now go and promptly drink at least a swimming pool sized glass of "i dont give a darn fanboys"


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## Seto Kaiba (Oct 30, 2013)

Brought to you by DoritosTM and Mountain DewTM


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## Disaresta (Oct 30, 2013)

i've learned that single player experiences are not required.


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## Pain In The Ass (Oct 30, 2013)

This GOTY thing is kinda bullshit imo. Should be one award only and made professionally by some respected sites/magazines. Instead anyone does their own GOTY.

My problems are: MP everywhere, DLC everywhere, microtransactions almost everywhere.


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## Disaresta (Oct 30, 2013)

dlc is nothing but microtransaction. the only game feel used them right was the elder scrolls series and fall out. bioshock also has the right idea. all the others can eat dick.


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## Not Sure (Oct 30, 2013)

Deathbringerpt said:


> - If you buy a game at launch, you've wasted money



Gamefreak taught me this ever since Red & Green. Modern Publishers just keeps putting it in my face.


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## Yagami1211 (Oct 30, 2013)

The title should be Capcom taught me since the 16bit era.


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