# Once a cheater, always a cheater?



## Polaris (Sep 29, 2022)

Is it dumb or even vain, to assume that a person who's cheated on their ex won't do the same thing to you?

Or would you trust that the person in question has indeed undergone personal development if they tell you they've cheated in the past? Or at least take an informed risk?

What if you found out that someone you're texting with, cheated on their ex, through other people? Would you confront the person in question and believe them if they said they'd never do it to a future partner or simply ghost them?

_Just to clarify;_ I'm not referring to a person who's cheated on _you_ in particular. I feel like that's kind of a different subject matter.


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## aiyanah (Sep 29, 2022)

thought this was related to the chess drama.
yeah no, someone that couldn't keep their zip shut isn't going to figure out how to later.
they'll just hide it better is all.

Reactions: Agree 2


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## Canute87 (Sep 29, 2022)

Polaris said:


> Always a cheater? Is it dumb or even vain, to assume that a person who's cheated on their ex won't do the same thing to you?
> 
> Or would you trust that the person in question has indeed undergone personal development if they tell you they've cheated in the past? Or at least take an informed risk?
> 
> ...



As a guy stubbornness will take over and you'll want to try  especially if you have feelings for said person.

Disclaimer,  If you've only been with this person a few months and the cheating starts , then dump them like garbage.

The problem  for us guys lies with the longer relationships because you don't want to throw away all that time you spent together for what you could think is a one time lapse in judgment.


Up to the actual cheating you'll start to see certain signs, usually the routine that you guys would have for those number of years would start to break if there's a third party involved.
If they do cheat and come to you first about it then it shows some accountability on their part and it's worth  reconciling (one time).  At this point you'll know what the routine is and you can call them out on it if they go back down that path.

However if you confront them If you ever hear the words "insecure" or "controlling".  This is essentially gaslighting.  And this is the point of no return some guys will  still try but it's a waste of time, the chances of them changing is so small you're better off finding somebody else.

NOW if you catch them cheating and they blame YOU for it despite all concerns raised before then that relationship is DEAD, DEAD. DEAD and there's no coming back from that.


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)

Story of my was future wife

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## wibisana (Sep 29, 2022)

aiyanah said:


> thought this was related to the chess drama.
> yeah no, someone that couldn't keep their zip shut isn't going to figure out how to later.
> they'll just hide it better is all.


People can change tho

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)

wibisana said:


> People can change tho


They can and yet most choose not to

Reactions: Like 1


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## aiyanah (Sep 29, 2022)

wibisana said:


> People can change tho


not exactly, lots of these things are hardwired in.
i mean heck religion exists for a reason at the end of the day, undoubtedly to tame our supposed heritage.
when we consider that the tip of the penis is shaped as such in order to gouge other men's semen out of the vagina, shit really get's put into perspective.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Karasu (Sep 29, 2022)

>Whispers question to Magic 8 Ball: Once a cheater always a cheater?

>Shakes Magic 8 Ball

Answer: Hell I don't know...probably. Maybe not. It depends.

There it is - Magic 8 Ball has given us its manifold wisdom. Enjoy.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## wibisana (Sep 29, 2022)

Unresponsive said:


> They can and yet most choose not to





aiyanah said:


> not exactly, lots of these things are hardwired in.
> i mean heck religion exists for a reason at the end of the day, undoubtedly to tame our supposed heritage.
> when we consider that the tip of the penis is shaped as such in order to gouge other men's semen out of the vagina, shit really get's put into perspective.


If we being pesimistic to other people. Then whats the point of putting people in jail? Once a thief will always a thief, to shorten the process just kill the thief. Because releasing him will only releasing thief in society.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)

wibisana said:


> If we being pesimistic to other people. Then whats the point of putting people in jail? Once a thief will always a thief, to shorten the process just kill the thief. Because releasing him will only releasing thief in society.


Because the difference is inside the prison they're filled with harsh treatment, and are worthless. Its to make them hate going to prison so they never do that crime again. At severe cases theres the death penalty. Cheaters won't get no punishment therefore won't change unless they themselves is extremely guilty and ashamed.


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)

Yes it true a cheater can change but whoever they cheated on won't trust them or see them the same way anymore.


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## Karasu (Sep 29, 2022)



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)




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## Karasu (Sep 29, 2022)

Unresponsive said:


>


Oh no - it was a good thing.


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)

Karasu said:


> Oh no - it was a good thing.


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## pfft (Sep 29, 2022)

Real talk ; 

Some males really do not value women they date/ marry.  
 So intrinsically I’m inclined to believe if you have self worth and make good choices.
 You do not wind up with low hanging fruit. The choice is everything when it comes to actually giving your time and energy to someone else. 

Get a good sense of people and be a bullshit detective.  Cuz I can’t stand someone pretending to be something they aren’t. I can tell and I have zero effort in entertaining it. 

 also it’s really fucking important to ;if and when you do feel a disconnect or are with someone who doesn’t know what the fuck they want. 
That person who realizes this is not a good person to be with I’m not getting my needs met , I’m not feeling any genuine care etc and I want that.
The person who can’t do what is required ; they really need to be gutted out of your life.

It’s the way people really act lowkey pathetic and stay in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere and isn’t worth while. Those people need to get it together. Fr get some self worth.  
It’s those weak people that cheat themselves.

Reactions: Like 2 | Dislike 1


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## Unresponsive (Sep 29, 2022)

pfft said:


> *It’s those weak people that cheat themselves.*


This hits different

Reactions: Like 1


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## AnimePhanatic (Sep 29, 2022)

I don't think I'd be able to fully trust a former cheater, but it'd depend on _why_ the person did so. If the person cheated cause her partner was a scumbag and there was someone outside who gave her a sense of security or comfort, then I _might_ try being open-minded and all.
But if she cheated on someone actually worthwhile, then nope. Not even in my wildest dreams.


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## Yami Munesanzun (Sep 29, 2022)

aiyanah said:


> *thought this was related to the chess drama.*
> yeah no, someone that couldn't keep their zip shut isn't going to figure out how to later.
> they'll just hide it better is all.


Buttplugs on the brain?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## pfft (Sep 29, 2022)

AnimePhanatic said:


> But if she cheated on someone actually worthwhile, then nope. Not even in my wildest dreams.



Lol so you want her to cheat with someone who isn’t worthwhile??? Wtf does that mean.

First of all I want to say women cheat with a different perspective than how men cheat. 

Men are just out to stroke an ego and get it in.
And they have really weird sense of value in the cheating itself.  When the cheating man has that low self worth and it gets projected on the woman he is dating/married to cuz she chose that loser in the first place so he doesn’t value her for making a bad choice lol

Women are not thinking that same way.  

 I never cheated but I’ve been approached by many men in a lot of sneaky ass ways and it’s annoying. Tbh it was most annoying when someone I wanted to get along with had a really crappy bf who acted like a dumb ass.  
I really did learn to be a great bs detector tho. You see how many ways a man will try to approach from like shady ass ways. It’s funny and ducked up but mainly it’s annoying asf


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## AnimePhanatic (Sep 29, 2022)

pfft said:


> Lol so you want her to cheat with someone who isn’t worthwhile??? Wtf does that mean.


I'm not saying she _should_ cheat on someone who isn't worthwhile, by which I mean someone who's hella toxic. I'm just saying if she did such a thing, while I'd have distrust for her for doing such a thing instead of just straight up breaking up, I'd still try to see things from her perspective or something. Of course, cheating is by no means justifiable.


pfft said:


> First of all I want to say women cheat with a different perspective than how men cheat.
> 
> Men are just out to stroke an ego and get it in.
> And they have really weird sense of value in the cheating itself. When the cheating man has that low self worth and it gets projected on the woman cuz she chose that loser in the first place so he doesn’t value her for making a bad choice lol
> ...


If you could, enlighten me on the perspective women have.


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## aiyanah (Sep 29, 2022)

wibisana said:


> If we being pesimistic to other people. Then whats the point of putting people in jail? Once a thief will always a thief, to shorten the process just kill the thief. Because releasing him will only releasing thief in society.


That would probably cut down crime generationally, there's research on it, but we veer into eugenics if we opt into that route.

But that's not the topic and you fail to address the primary issue of infidelity, which has essentially been selected for by evolutionary standards for purposes of getting the species through our presocietal era's.
It's no accident that once the metaphysical tapestry of society was undone that divorce rates spiked along with instances of single parent homes.
People are predisposed to this mode of being by and large, and the wisdom of the ancients has been discarded by moderns who would believe they know better.

Don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the show.
I have too much occult info to be posting in this topic regardless, my light ripostes will get me banned for not citing papers or some shit.

Why is the penis shaped like that? Because one of our ancestors (a tribe,) with the secret sauce (mushroom penis,) bedded all the gyaldem and vacated the vaginal cavity of lesser genetic material.
It still happens today but heavens forbid we talk about it, feminist's would start a riot.
Let's say 50/50 rape vs consensual to explain the propagation of mushroom penis.
You trust a cheater to stop cheating still? Power to you.
These actions are taken as a biological imperative, as a means of propagation in a long past time, they exist today as a hold over, a calling card to our more brutal history, but one that should be noted as existing and whose effects should be observed.
Careful in these streets.


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## pfft (Sep 29, 2022)

AnimePhanatic said:


> I'm not saying she _should_ cheat on someone who isn't worthwhile, by which I mean someone who's hella toxic. I'm just saying if she did such a thing, while I'd have distrust for her for doing such a thing instead of just straight up breaking up, I'd still try to see things from her perspective or something. Of course, cheating is by no means justifiable.
> 
> If you could, enlighten me on the perspective women have.


I have a low level of respect for humanity but imo if a woman entertains the idea of cheating. 

She’s not leaving a man who obviously she isn’t into  ending it for XYZ reasons.  

 in extreme cases the guy is unhinged and weirdly fucked up controlling/jealous .
 so leaving is really hard cuz she doesn’t want to be stalked murdered etc. 

(I have had a friend with an extremely controlling husband who would call if she didn’t go straight home from her job. Didn’t want her to go out (she did have like 5 kids too) , didn’t like her having a friend.He would be suspicious of her all the time. Real small dick energy.) 

The girl cared about her husband but she did seriously almost cheated on her husband with a guy that she met at her job.  And it was emotional for sure cuz he was nice to her and didn’t basically control her in that same way her husband did. 

So imo the emotional aspect of cheating is really convincing reason to cheat.

Ofc there’s other reasons too. 

I knew two women who were like super idk low self esteem kinda bitches who you couldn’t trust to not try something just because. There’s ppl out there like that too. 
Where said sad woman threw out some feelers and the boyfriend/husband she chose
went for it.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Friendly 1


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## Natty (Sep 29, 2022)

As with all questions, it depends. I've talked with people who have cheated in the past who show deep regret, shame and earnestness for their moments of callousness while they were in a low spot, be it in the relationship or just personally. Pfft is right on the money about weak people there. I've also had weird convos with people who treat their cheating with disregard and try to justify it.

There's always reasons why someone cheats, but there's a difference between trying to justify it (within reason as mentioned above), and explaining the reasons for it. If someone told me about it upfront and expressed it in a way that showed shame and regret, I'd be cool with it. I'd also be pretty ok if it wasn't mentioned but was like so fucking long ago that it's not really relevant, but with many cases, people typically aren't going to tell you.

I'd also be a hypocrite if I said yes too, tbf. I've cheated once, and never again. I'm fortunate that a good friendship came of it despite the hurt I caused.

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1


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## Polaris (Sep 30, 2022)

pfft said:


> Get a good sense of people and *be a bullshit detective.  *



How do you stay committed to being vigilant, alert and etc. without becoming paranoid and reading too much into things though?Lots of people really do jump to erroneous conclusions because they have a biased perspective, subsequently robbing themselves of opportunities and pushing innocent people away.



Natty said:


> but there's a difference between trying to justify it and explaining the reasons for it.



Yeah, for sure. I feel that attempting to justify cheating really signals, "I'm going to try to justify toxic behaviors in the future and not hold myself accountable for my actions if I ever wrong you as well" imo. Whereas being open about something that you're most likely going to be severely judged for by the majority of people and expressing shame and regret with no justification attempts involved whatsoever, like from the get go, makes a person appear to be more trustworthy.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Delta Shell (Sep 30, 2022)

People change. Everyone is different. It's case by case.

Reactions: Like 2


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## LawdyLawd (Sep 30, 2022)

I cheated once and it was a horrible guilt   Never again

That was high school though in the midst of hormones and puberty.

cheating as an adult could be different.

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## pfft (Sep 30, 2022)

Polaris said:


> How do you stay committed to being vigilant, alert and etc. without becoming paranoid and reading too much into things though?Lots of people really do jump to erroneous conclusions because they have a biased perspective, subsequently robbing themselves of opportunities and pushing innocent people away.


 I have yet to meet an innocent person. I mean fr like you can meet cool people but innocent… lol nah  
 it’s vetting someone to make sure they aren’t secret pedo, homophobic, racist, sexist etc. 
in fact it’s really fucking easy to see how a person isn’t decent. Because decent people are really rare af. If I’ve never met a decent human I wouldn’t even bother. Cuz most aren’t worth the time.   I’ll die on that hill.  The amount of bullshitery I’ve seen is clear.

I remember this guy who worked in my place and his gf worked there too.
He made sure to talk to women very rarely.
She got a diff job and left. After she left his demeanor completely changed. He started talking more and acting very differently and being flirtatious and wound up doing stuff behind her back and tried to seriously hook up with a girl way too hot for him rofl. 

I can see how people want to believe in giving people a chance and I’m all for it. But I believe in having a reason that’s solid. If it’s just for the sake of not being alone or desperation then I can’t believe in it.  
I mean I’ve seen  so many men who don’t value their relationship. You can tell when they make little comments about their gf etc and putting feelers out and playing little flirty games. 
People who want to drop hints or mention bs or ask for social media so they can communicate with you. 
You can easily tell how someone is. I know when someone isn’t really into their gf/bf.


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## Mihawk (Sep 30, 2022)

Fuck that bitch

Reactions: Informative 1


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## Polaris (Sep 30, 2022)

pfft said:


> I have yet to meet an innocent person. I mean fr like you can meet cool people but innocent… lol nah



Not innocent in general. I mean innocent as in not guilty of a particular act, such as cheating. For example, a dude who keeps accusing his gf of cheating and tries to control her behavior to the point where she can't take it anymore and breaks up, has pushed away an innocent person _in that particular regard. _



pfft said:


> Because decent people are really rare af.



Most people are toxic in some way/to some degree, unfortunately. Being open to making friends and/or being romantically involved with someone is basically a matter of deciding which flaws you're more willing to tolerate compared to other flaws. If you're interacting with someone on a regular basis, that is. The less you talk to someone, the easier it is to avoid being subjected to their toxic traits and flaws. I don't blame people who have a wide social circle and portion out their limited time to interact to a bunch of people, as opposed to spending a lot of time only interacting with a select few. People who are like this are sometimes accused of being shallow, but I find it annoying that the people who judge them fail to see the benefits of these types of friendships.



pfft said:


> *You can easily tell how someone is. *



Not everyone is a good judge of character. Ignoring and overlooking red flags actually seems to be rather common. And then there are the types of people who are convinced that their partner will cheat on them because they themselves have cheated in the past and think that *everyone* is the same as them. OR who have been cheated on in the past and think that every person of the opposite gender (or the same gender, if they aren't straight) is the same as their ex.

Reactions: Agree 2


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## pfft (Sep 30, 2022)

Polaris said:


> Not innocent in general. I mean innocent as in not guilty of a particular act, such as cheating. For example, a dude who keeps accusing his gf of cheating and tries to control her behavior to the point where she can't take it anymore and breaks up, has pushed away an innocent person _in that particular regard. _


I’m not insecure. I believe in making a good choice. Don’t ever compare what I said about  vetting someone to this. 



Polaris said:


> Most people are toxic in some way/to some degree, unfortunately. Being open to making friends and/or being romantically involved with someone is basically a matter of deciding which flaws you're more willing to tolerate compared to other flaws. If you're interacting with someone on a regular basis, that is. The less you talk to someone, the easier it is to avoid being subjected to their toxic traits and flaws. I don't blame people who have a wide social circle and portion out their limited time to interact to a bunch of people, as opposed to spending a lot of time only interacting with a select few. People who are like this are sometimes accused of being shallow, but I find it annoying that the people who judge them fail to see the benefits of these types of friendships.
> 
> 
> 
> Not everyone is a good judge of character. Ignoring and overlooking red flags actually seems to be rather common. And then there are the types of people who are convinced that their partner will cheat on them because they themselves have cheated in the past and think that *everyone* is the same as them. OR who have been cheated on in the past and think that every person of the opposite gender (or the same gender, if they aren't straight) is the same as their ex.



 I have a really rare personality type and people do not like how straight forward I can be. I don’t do any of this stuff. Once people realize I am more than willing to not play that sort of game the more difficult I live my life.
I never said it was easy. 
I limit my time period.  
I see people who make incredibly stupid decisions all the time abs put up with shit.

The last guy who I had a thing with acted like I was going to put up with his shit. Like if I got mad calling me over and over and over. 
No thanks. I don’t do shit like that. When a person doesn’t respect me I’m done. 

And if you pretend to not know what it’s like to get respect that’s your problem.  Not mine

I literally remember him saying “ I never said this was over” 

Rofl ofc you didn’t. I did. Duh


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## Jim (Sep 30, 2022)

So long as she doesn't get some sort of disease, why should i care if my partner cheats? That's her business.

I wouldn't cheat though.


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## Yami Munesanzun (Sep 30, 2022)

Jim said:


> So long as she doesn't get some sort of disease, why should i care if my partner cheats? That's her business.
> 
> I wouldn't cheat though.


/pat pat

Reactions: Informative 1


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## Prince Vegeta (Sep 30, 2022)

It depends on the person.

Some people keep cheating and some stop cheating. 

This poll needs a 3rd option

Reactions: Like 2


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## Eros (Sep 30, 2022)

pfft said:


> (I have had a friend with an extremely controlling husband who would call if she didn’t go straight home from her job. Didn’t want her to go out (she did have like 5 kids too) , didn’t like her having a friend.He would be suspicious of her all the time. Real small dick energy.)


That's a dangerous situation. That's the type who *will* become violent.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Polaris (Sep 30, 2022)

pfft said:


> *I’m not insecure.* I believe in making a good choice. Don’t ever compare what I said about  vetting someone to this.



 That's not what I was implying. I was simply explaining what I was referring to when I wrote, "innocent" You misinterpreted my post.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Magic (Sep 30, 2022)

wibisana said:


> People can change tho


With an impulsive primal behavior like cheating?

Nah. It's primarily animal instinct that drives cheating.



pfft said:


> I have yet to meet an innocent person. I mean fr like you can meet cool people but innocent… lol nah
> it’s vetting someone to make sure they aren’t secret pedo, homophobic, racist, sexist etc.
> in fact it’s really fucking easy to see how a person isn’t decent. Because decent people are really rare af. If I’ve never met a decent human I wouldn’t even bother. Cuz most aren’t worth the time.   I’ll die on that hill.  The amount of bullshitery I’ve seen is clear.


The problem might be you. You've never met someone who instantly you know you can A. trust and are B. dependable?
That's a little alarming. There are good people out there just as there are bad people. Also all in between. I don't think everyone is out to get you or wrong others.

Reactions: Disagree 1


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## pfft (Sep 30, 2022)

Polaris said:


> That's not what I was implying. I was simply explaining what I was referring to when I wrote, "innocent" You misinterpreted my post.


 I think if someone makes a choice and winds up being suspicious of someone they are insecure. Period.
You lack conviction in your choice and still stay. That’s insecure. 





Eros said:


> That's a dangerous situation. That's the type who *will* become violent.


Yeah I mean she claims he is so in love etc so I get that she loved him.
But that kind of behavior isn’t something I would want to deal with for the rest of my life. 
Last time we talked he was in jail for something. 



RemChu said:


> With an impulsive primal behavior like cheating?
> 
> Nah. It's primarily animal instinct that drives cheating.
> 
> ...


 you always take my statements as a personal affront as if I’m talking about you. Don’t project on me. I do fine in life and I know I have flaws like anyone else does. 
I don’t believe in playing the game it’s life. I know we all have to placate one another and women do it all the time. You really don’t get how much a woman has to smile and play nice. It’s a full time life long thing.

I value genuine friendships /relationships and I have definitely had some so don’t get ass blasted if I want something genuine/ real over something that’s not.


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## Magic (Sep 30, 2022)

pfft said:


> you always take my statements as a personal affront as if I’m talking about you. Don’t project on me. I do fine in life and I know I have flaws like anyone else does.
> I don’t believe in playing the game it’s life. I know we all have to placate one another and women do it all the time. You really don’t get how much a woman has to smile and play nice. It’s a full time life long thing.
> 
> I value genuine friendships /relationships and I have definitely had some so don’t get ass blasted if I want something genuine/ real over something that’s not.


Nope I just find it odd when you make antisocial blanket statements. Just a tad concerned. ^ ^

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Flowjr (Sep 30, 2022)

I genuinely believe most people would cheat given the timing and opportunity.

Put nothing past anyone. When I settle, I would hope my hoeing days are over. Would definitely put in the energy to maintain.


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Sep 30, 2022)

i don't get cheating

if you don't want the person exclusively, and you feel like exploring your options why not stay single?

it's a little arrogant imo to believe a person will "change for you" 

people don't change for other people. they change for themselves and that's when it sticks 

you gotta figure out if someone is faking it to please you, or if they are sincere.

Reactions: Like 1


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## UtahCrip (Sep 30, 2022)

Flowjr said:


> I genuinely believe most people would cheat given the timing and opportunity


i ain't ever cheat. i let homegirl know im going to dip and fucc other shorty.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Canute87 (Sep 30, 2022)

ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ said:


> if you don't want the person exclusively, and you feel like exploring your options why not stay single?


For  some it's security and for others it's because they dread being alone, and believe it  or not another reason is because of boredom.


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Sep 30, 2022)

Canute87 said:


> For  some it's security and for others it's because they dread being alone, and believe it  or not another reason is because of boredom.



Do you respect the women you deal with? assuming you cheat ofc


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## pfft (Sep 30, 2022)

RemChu said:


> Nope I just find it odd when you make antisocial blanket statements. Just a tad concerned. ^ ^


I  usually meet someone who seems cool and chill and then they make a statement that is wild af . AND/Or Have really asshole beliefs and I cannot tolerate being near them anymore. 

When people show their true colors and feel comfortable saying this kind of thing to me… how is that ok?


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## Canute87 (Sep 30, 2022)

ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ said:


> Do you respect the women you deal with? assuming you cheat ofc


I actually did ask this question to some guys and they said that hiding it is a form of respect because the main woman was always a priority.


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## pfft (Sep 30, 2022)

Canute87 said:


> I actually did ask this question to some guys and they said that hiding it is a form of respect because the main woman was always a priority.


Would you prefer to have it hidden from you?

Sometimes the ones who hide it the best act like complete strangers and dont talk at all in public.  It’s so deep rooted in secrecy. 

Another sign a guy is cheating is acting like he publically hates and shits on the woman. All the while he’s fucking her.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## Canute87 (Sep 30, 2022)

pfft said:


> Would you prefer to have it hidden from you?


For the most part it can't really be hidden from you any more than what you yourself want to ignore.  Having it hidden from you is just a coping mechanism to ignore what's happening and staying in bliss.  At some point reality will strike and the longer you postpone it the worse it gets.

The absolute worst time to find your partner cheating on you is when you see them in the act.  That shit can really fuck with a man's mind.  I've seen it and it scares the shit out of me.

I'd personally rather be told than to find out like that and keep my sanity.


pfft said:


> Sometimes the ones who hide it the best act like complete strangers and dont talk at all in public.  It’s so deep rooted in secrecy.
> 
> Another sign a guy is cheating is acting like he publically hates and shits on the woman. All the while he’s fucking her.



The best cheaters are usually the best liars.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Mider T (Sep 30, 2022)

I'm in awe of people who openly cheat with their partners, like the people who will go out to a club they know plenty of people attend who know their partner and will openly flirt and make-out with other people.  The sheer levels of not giving a fuck.  It even makes other people question themselves like "Damn, are they in an open relationship and maybe I'm prying?  Guess it's none of my business."

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## pfft (Sep 30, 2022)

Canute87 said:


> For the most part it can't really be hidden from you any more than what you yourself want to ignore.  Having it hidden from you is just a coping mechanism to ignore what's happening and staying in bliss.  At some point reality will strike and the longer you postpone it the worse it gets.
> 
> The absolute worst time to find your partner cheating on you is when you see them in the act.  That shit can really fuck with a man's mind.  I've seen it and it scares the shit out of me.
> 
> ...



I think women want to be told but  some people don’t want the problems of having to leave and be alone and eventually find someone else. 

That’s where you run into incredibly weak willed people.

The ones who stay and then have big insecurities of always accusing the other person of cheating. It becomes really stupid and annoying. 
Just get some balls and leave. 

Some Ppl are just fucked up tho. 

I mean fr the way people move on this earth is just wild af.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Friendly 1


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## Flowjr (Oct 1, 2022)

I never got dudes that stayed with a woman that sucked a whole dudes dick bruh like the level of disrespect just no

Thats bad parenting and self-esteem honestly

Reactions: Funny 1


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

If they cheat on you, then yeah more than likely they’ll continue to.  But if they cheated on you is doesn’t mean they’ll cheat on the next person they’re with down the line


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## Casval Rem Aznable (Oct 1, 2022)

People change. Everyone is always constantly changing. That's why you can never fully trust even the most 'trustworthy' person and it goes the other way around as well


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## Voyeur (Oct 1, 2022)

It's a grey area, usually more black than white.  The majority of cheating is bad and honestly people that cheat once usually cheat more. But there are those far and few circumstances where cheating happens because someone is in an abusive relationship and doesn't have the strength to leave the abuser on their own.  I don't condone cheating but I have heard of stories where it happened for that person's own well being


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Oct 1, 2022)

Flowjr said:


> I never got dudes that stayed with a woman that sucked a whole dudes dick bruh like the level of disrespect just no
> 
> Thats bad parenting and self-esteem honestly



lmao this is wild


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Oct 1, 2022)

wait- do you mean you wouldn't date a girl who sucked a guy's dick in a previous relationship?

or are you referring to someone cheating and doing that

Reactions: Funny 1


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Oct 1, 2022)

"miss 1 call from a man and you were somewhere sucking dick. 

call a man 5 times and he was asleep.

no mf, you were sucking dick!"


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## Canute87 (Oct 1, 2022)

ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ said:


> wait- do you mean you wouldn't date a girl who sucked a guy's dick in a previous relationship?


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## Flowjr (Oct 1, 2022)

ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ said:


> wait- do you mean you wouldn't date a girl who sucked a guy's dick in a previous relationship?
> 
> or are you referring to someone cheating and doing that



I wouldn't want to know about her previous relationships regarding sex and yeah, I am talking about dudes that stay with women after they find out she cheated on them.

There is no going back on something like that, I wouldn't try and "fix things" or some bogus shit like that. Like the hoe was getting porked, roasted and stuffed like a pig from both ends just no.


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## pfft (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> But if they cheated on you is doesn’t mean they’ll cheat on the next person they’re with down the line


This is true imo 
If you have someone who didn’t respect the last person. A bunch of factors go in to why they did that to that person. And fr like so many men literally can be with someone they don’t even fucking like or respect. 
Then they may be on the off chance get with someone else they do respect more.
And they might not cheat on that person because they value said person more.

But I would factor in the ability to cheat. If it’s there or not. 

Fr mid tier, ass face dudes ,like Adam Levine just act like they don’t give two fucks. Those like random ass ugly dudes just cheat left and right


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

pfft said:


> This is true imo
> If you have someone who didn’t respect the last person. A bunch of factors go in to why they did that to that person. And fr like so many men literally can be with someone they don’t even fucking like or respect.
> Then they may be on the off chance get with someone else they do respect more.
> And they might not cheat on that person because they value said person more.
> ...


Men cheating doesn’t happen nearly as often as women cheating tbh. Men don’t have nearly as many opportunities in the dating market as women.


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

No 
Hell no , it's stupid to hold a wire that shocked someone before you

Reactions: Like 1


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> No
> Hell no , it's stupid to hold a wire that shocked someone before you


Are all your decisions fear based?


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> Are all your decisions fear based?


Nah , but wisdom based instead , I'm not getting in a losing game , would you ?

Reactions: Like 1


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## pfft (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> Men cheating doesn’t happen nearly as often as women cheating tbh. Men don’t have nearly as many opportunities in the dating market as women.


Dude fr like I get that there’s the type of incel who may or may not be able to get with a woman they have no viable sexual attraction to .. and those bitches are thinking I’m gonna die a virgin until I met my super model wealthy woman who I will hate and yet want to fuck etc …


But there’s a shit ton of ugly incel motherfuckers who do get with any one.  I call people who are incredibly social awkward and ugly an incel because they move in a way that screams they will try anything.  The guy just does not give a darn and any one desperate enough to say yes to him… he will fuck.  
————
Another thing I like to point out too cuz I personally do this. I don’t like to be openly friendly to men right away cuz I hate them bitches assuming it’s an invitation or that I like them in any way. Usually if the guy has a gf I am nicer than I would normally be cuz I assume it’s safe to be nice. But then you realize that guy
Doesn’t give a darn about his gf he is with. 
I see those situations happen a lot… and it’s like damn I wouldn’t have been friendly if I realized beforehand that ; You didn’t like your gf.


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> Nah , but wisdom based instead , I'm not getting in a losing game , would you ?


How do you know it’s a losing game if you don’t actually play?


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

pfft said:


> Dude fr like I get that there’s the type of incel who may or may not be able to get with a woman they have no viable sexual attraction to
> 
> But there’s a shit ton of ugly incel motherfuckers who do get with any one.


Who are these anyones? You’re presumptions are faulty. A man in the absolute worse conditions: ugly, un-hygienic, criminal history, and no resources exists to a much greater degree than women. Women only date at their level and up. Yes men will fuck anything, but unless it’s rape, they’ll never get the opportunity to. I’m not even talking about incel motherfuckers, because at least they’re intelligent to form a semi-coherent thought. I’m talking about the low of the low here. 


pfft said:


> I call people who are incredibly social awkward and ugly an incel because they move in a way that screams they will try anything.  The guy just does not give a darn and any one desperate enough to say yes to him… he will fuck.


Which again is still an extremely rare occurrence. How many women would sign up to fuck a guy like that? Maybe one each year at most. But the ugliest girl will still have opportunities to fuck 100x the rate.


pfft said:


> ————
> Another thing I like to point out too cuz I personally do this. I don’t like to be openly friendly to men right away cuz I hate them bitches assuming it’s an invitation or that I like them in any way. Usually if the guy has a gf I am nicer than I would normally be cuz I assume it’s safe to be nice. But then you realize that guy
> Doesn’t give a darn about his gf he is with.
> I see those situations happen a lot… and it’s like damn I wouldn’t have been friendly if I realized
> You didn’t like your gf.


This is anecdotal and you realize you’re kinda projecting those fears right? I believe in the power of attraction and manifestation, what you’re doing is basically a self fulfilling prophecy because your thoughts are already generating these outcomes. It’s like if I were to tell you to NOT think of an elephant! Your mind will auto-think the elephant. Generate thoughts that align with what you actually want, instead of what you don’t want. Otherwise you’ll keep attracting the things you don’t want.


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## pfft (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> Who are these anyones? You’re presumptions are faulty. A man in the absolute worse conditions: ugly, un-hygienic, criminal history, and no resources exists to a much greater degree than women. Women only date at their level and up. Yes men will fuck anything, but unless it’s rape, they’ll never get the opportunity to. I’m not even talking about incel motherfuckers, because at least they’re intelligent to form a semi-coherent thought. I’m talking about the low of the low here.
> 
> Which again is still an extremely rare occurrence. How many women would sign up to fuck a guy like that? Maybe one each year at most. But the ugliest girl will still have opportunities to fuck 100x


You mean literal homeless men ? 



~Avant~ said:


> This is anecdotal and you realize you’re kinda projecting those fears right? I believe in the power of attraction and manifestation, what you’re doing is basically a self fulfilling prophecy because your thoughts are already generating these outcomes. It’s like if I were to tell you to NOT think of an elephant! Your mind will auto-think the elephant. Generate thoughts that align with what you actually want, instead of what you don’t want. Otherwise you’ll keep attracting the things you don’t want.



No I’m talking about the times I was literally  friendly to men who had girlfriends because I thought they would be normal and not take my niceness as something other than being nice. but then they wind up trying something even tho they have a gf. 
Like getting your number or social media and literally hitting you up. While they have a gf.
I’ve had  women I hang out with have their boyfriends make a move too. It just happens more than you think imo. 
People who are married  who act out of pocket too. 

In a way it’s just proof that men cannot be nice to women if it’s not related to sex and attraction. As if they wouldn’t socialize as a friend if your not a viable option


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> How do you know it’s a losing game if you don’t actually play?


Cuz there was a someone who played before me and lost


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> Cuz there was a someone who played before me and lost


So that says more about you than anything else really. You let another persons experience dictate your own. You lose before you even give yourself a chance to win.


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> So that says more about you than anything else really. You let another persons experience dictate your own. You lose before you even give yourself a chance to win.


Bro , I won't try to win a game that someone lost in it for reasons he hadn't made 

I won't love a girl that cheated on another for no reason , trying to win a cheater's heart is a perfect definition of " fucked up " why tf I would love someone who has no loyalty


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

pfft said:


> You mean literal homeless men ?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah that’s gonna happen. I can’t tell you the number of married women I fucked during my early 20’s. Not dating: married.


pfft said:


> I’ve had  women I hang out with have their boyfriends make a move too. It just happens more than you think imo.
> People who are married  who act out of pocket too.


It’s not just one way tho. Women do it just as often as men, if not more so.


pfft said:


> In a way it’s just proof that men cannot be nice to women if it’s not related to sex and attraction.


It’s only proof of your own confirmation biases


pfft said:


> As if they wouldn’t socialize as a friend if your not a viable option


I mean, all my female friends are hot. I don’t generally associate with unattractive women and unattractive women typically hold me in as a paragon in their minds, and the fact that I’m now off the market acts as a double buffer. So again it works both ways. How many women are friends with ugly guys?


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> Bro , I won't try to win a game that someone lost in it for reasons he hadn't made


How would you know?


Black zetsu said:


> I won't love a girl that cheated on another for no reason


There’s always a reason


Black zetsu said:


> trying to win a cheater's heart is a perfect definition of " fucked up " why tf I would love someone who has no loyalty


Because loyalty to another person does not equate loyalty to you. The truth is, is you’re projecting your own feelings of inadequacy and preemptively not giving someone a chance because they have some history, a mistake they made in the past that had absolutely nothing to do with you. You don’t allow the person to have grown from a previous experience and stagnate them in your mind with imagined fears that haven’t actually manifested because you were too chicken to take a risk.


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> How would you know?


How did we know that this person is a cheater ? This is your answer 


~Avant~ said:


> There’s always a reason


Not always, I was cheated on cuz of " omg he has more free time than you , you aren't caring me enough " like tf ? Is this a reason ? Is having too busy life a reason to be erased from someone's memory ? You answer me 


~Avant~ said:


> Because loyalty to another person does not equate loyalty to you. The truth is, is you’re projecting your own feelings of inadequacy and preemptively not giving someone a chance because they have some history, a mistake they made in the past that had absolutely nothing to do with you. You don’t allow the person to have grown from a previous experience and stagnate them in your mind with imagined fears that haven’t actually manifested because you were too chicken to take a risk.


If she lhe cheated cuz she/he made a big mistake in their relationship, then it's not " a cheating " , she/he just decided to end the whole stuff , which isn't accurately defined as " cheating "


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## Mider T (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> Bro , I won't try to win a game that someone lost in it for reasons he hadn't made


What does this even mean?


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> How did we know that this person is a cheater ? This is your answer


No that doesn’t answer the question. You said “another guy lost for reasons he hadn’t made”, how would you determine it was for reasons he hadn’t made? Do you have both sides of the story as to what occurred that caused the infidelity to transpire? Even if he wasn’t outwardly abusive, his neglect is still grounds for cheating. 


Black zetsu said:


> Not always, I was cheated on cuz of " omg he has more free time than you , you aren't caring me enough " like tf ? Is this a reason ? Is having too busy life a reason to be erased from someone's memory ? You answer me


Yes. If your partner is expressing that they want more time, affection, and attention, and you don’t give it to them. They’ll wait to give you the opportunity to step up, but don’t be surprised when someone swoops in that can actually meet those needs.

It’s a double edged sword: On one hand, you’re not being receptive to their needs and on the other: if you actually need and enjoy your alone time, you should verbalize that. The cheating wouldn’t have occurred and you could have both moved on to find someone more compatible. 


Black zetsu said:


> If she lhe cheated cuz she/he made a big mistake in their relationship, then it's not " a cheating " , she/he just decided to end the whole stuff , which isn't accurately defined as " cheating "


I guess?


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

Mider T said:


> What does this even mean?


Let's say You played a game where you lose if you didn't keep a track with your target 

But you kept a track , tho , you lost , your lose isn't necessarily a mistake you have done


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> Let's say You played a game where you lose if you didn't keep a track with your target
> 
> But you kept a track , tho , you lost , your lose isn't necessarily a mistake you have done


What you want is to own someone, not an actual mutually beneficial relationship


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> No that doesn’t answer the question. You said “another guy lost for reasons he hadn’t made”, how would you determine it was for reasons he hadn’t made? Do you have both sides of the story as to what occurred that caused the infidelity to transpire? Even if he wasn’t outwardly abusive, his neglect is still grounds for cheating.
> 
> Yes. If your partner is expressing that they want more time, affection, and attention, and you don’t give it to them. They’ll wait to give you the opportunity to step up, but don’t be surprised when someone swoops in that can actually meet those needs.
> 
> ...


I got something

We both have a massively different understanding of the term " love " 

You see it in your own way , same to me , that's why we will never get to agree 

I think it's enough , was a worthy discussion to have tho


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> I got something
> 
> We both have a massively different understanding of the term " love "
> 
> ...


Your ego is wounded. Your view of love isn’t love at all which is why it will remain forever out of your reach.

If you’re able to look passed your ego and move the conversation forward, let me know.

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## Black zetsu (Oct 1, 2022)

~Avant~ said:


> Your ego is wounded. Your view of love isn’t love at all which is why it will remain forever out of your reach.
> 
> If you’re able to look passed your ego and move the conversation forward, let me know.


I think I'm not wounded , I don't feel sad or something,I just started to lose the capability and motivation to try again , I just don't want .

Thank you for understanding me tho ^^


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## ~Avant~ (Oct 1, 2022)

Black zetsu said:


> I think I'm not wounded , I don't feel sad or something,I just started to lose the capability and motivation to try again , I just don't want .
> 
> Thank you for understanding me tho ^^


That loss of capability and motivation is an artifact of your deeply engraved wounds. You would feel capable and motivated if you addressed them, and actually healed them.

Reactions: Friendly 1


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## Karasu (Oct 1, 2022)

I guess I should answer your question from the OP - would I trust a former cheater?

Well IMO a cheater will very likely never tell you, and the chances of you ferreting out the truth is hit or miss. That aside, one of the main reasons for divorce is infidelity (a quick search will get you percentages of 20 to over 40 percent). So if someone hasn't cheated yet  you never know. I guess don't think it can't happen to you.

If I knew for sure that someone had cheated before I don't think I would get involved with them. I've been cheated on before - not fun. There aren't any good reasons for cheating. If you don't like the person you're with then walk. IMO people aren't little disposable play things.


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