# Friends with Parents?



## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?

2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?


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## SLB (Mar 21, 2016)

No

They are my primary authority figures and mentors. Friendship implies equal footing. 

That being said I could be friends with someone who is exactly like my dad.


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## Seto Kaiba (Mar 21, 2016)

1. No. I was never behind the idea that parents and their children should be 'friends'. A parent is an authority figure as Moody stated, and I treated it like such. Even despite my dad trying to have more a friendship element with myself and my siblings.

2. No and no. I don't really like my dad, my mom is a nice person but she is too religious.


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## Gunners (Mar 21, 2016)

1) No, they are my parents. I get on well with them, I like being around them, but I wouldn't call them my friends.  There are different boundaries and different expectations. 

2) Probably.


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## scerpers (Mar 21, 2016)

not at all. they still listen to fucking oldies n shit. bet they never even heard of vaporwave. what plebs


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

I don't really see why someone being in an authoritative position means friendship can't exist. I mean, maybe when you're a kid and parents are in that position, but as an adult? You wouldn't regard a parent as a friend? I would.

Reactions: Like 2


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## scerpers (Mar 21, 2016)

idk they're weirdos


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## baconbits (Mar 21, 2016)

1. Yes.
2. Yes.

My parents are cool people and now that I'm an adult and see them closer to equal footing I'm able to get a better perspective on them.  My mom is very insightful, funny but she can just kill a person with words if she wants to.  I realize now how much she had to hold back on us when we were younger.  Dad is just a cool dude in many ways.  We used to mock him for being a little too strict and we still do but he's a good man.  Old school, tho.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kusa (Mar 21, 2016)

Fuck no. Like fuck no


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## Mider T (Mar 21, 2016)

Stunna said:


> I don't really see why someone being in an authoritative position means friendship can't exist. I mean, maybe when you're a kid and parents are in that position, but as an adult? You wouldn't regard a parent as a friend? I would.



Blurring the lines between roles isn't healthy for anyone.  Doing it as a kid often leads to a lack of respect for anyone.


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

Again, I understand when you're a kid, but by the time you're college aged? There's nothing wrong with regarding your parents as friends at that point.


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## Mider T (Mar 21, 2016)

Probably still not healthy.  Roles.  The same way that while you could be friendly and someone casual with your boss,  probably not the best idea to spend your free time with them.


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

What's unhealthy about parental friendship when you're an adult? It's not comparable to being friends with your boss (which actually has potential to go wrong if mishandled.)


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## Vix (Mar 21, 2016)

Nope. Like Moody said, they are primary authority figures and mentors. And even if we were close, there will always be that fine line of them being my parents and having that respect for them.

I'm pretty good friends with an ex coworker who is the same age as my mom. Regardless of her being other than me, I think she's pretty cool, but that's because she doesn't act like a mom to her kids. She's on friendly terms with her daughters, but whatever she says and does as a mother, they abide by. We hang out and go out for drinks every now and then to catch up, but then again, I'm also friends with her daughters. But with my mother's characteristics, I wouldn't be able to be friends with her. She's way too judgmental and traditional for someone like me. My father is cool and he's the reason why I have such a lively personality since I take after him, but to be friends with someone exactly like him is unlikely as well.


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

Why can respect and friendship not coexist?


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## Demetrius (Mar 21, 2016)

Stunna said:


> What's unhealthy about parental friendship when you're an adult? It's not comparable to being friends with your boss (which actually has potential to go wrong if mishandled.)


Look, the reason that - especially if a child is still growing and learning socially and emotionally - parental friendship is_ not_ okay, is because it makes placing boundaries that much harder and confuses the child. _Permissive _parenting styles are unhealthy for a _number _of reasons aswell. The extreme permissive parent can cause emotional damage to the child and in some cases, if it weren't balanced out with a more positive role that's involved in the child's life? The child can develop personality disorders, difficulties learning/focusing, lack of  food (or a proper diet) and support. There's a lot to consider.
The child has all its life to build other social relationships that don't wind up hurting their support system from their parents. Let their actual friends fuck them up, atleast. They would have something to fall back on when that time comes and that'd be Mother and Father.

I don't think parental authority really falls in line with this thread, because parenting styles are a completely different thing and it's a matter of nature vs nurture than a legal, social process. It's a psychological one, in this case.


And to answer the actual question because I got caught up with the idea of parents + friendship in general: Once the parent fills a certain role for many years, why would you want to change that course of the relationship? What do you mean by friendship?


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## Island (Mar 21, 2016)

It's not healthy to consider yourself friends with somebody you have an unequal relationship with. When you're friends with your boss, it undermines his or her authority as your boss. When you're friends with your parents, it undermines their authority as guides, mentors, providers, and so on.

It's also reasonable that the people who changed your diapers and provided for you are not going to view you as their equals. There are certain exceptions, but assuming that you live a reasonably normal life, would you expect your parents to see you as their equals?

Friendship, at least healthy friendships, imply reciprocity. The people that you consider friends should likewise consider you their friends. Knowing that friendship also implies equal footing, I don't think many parents would consider themselves friends with their children.


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

Trinity said:


> Look, the reason that - especially if a child is still growing and learning socially and emotionally - parental friendship is_ not_ okay, is because it makes placing boundaries that much harder and confuses the child. _Permissive _parenting styles are unhealthy for a _number _of reasons aswell. The extreme permissive parent can cause emotional damage to the child and in some cases, if it weren't balanced out with a more positive role that's involved in the child's life? The child can develop personality disorders, difficulties learning/focusing, lack of  food (or a proper diet) and support. There's a lot to consider.
> The child has all its life to build other social relationships that don't wind up hurting their support system from their parents. Let their actual friends fuck them up, atleast. They would have something to fall back on when that time comes and that'd be Mother and Father.
> 
> I don't think parental authority really falls in line with this thread, because parenting styles are a completely different thing and it's a matter of nature vs nurture than a legal, social process. It's a psychological one, in this case.


This I'm well aware of, which is why I said "when you're an adult."



> And to answer the actual question because I got caught up with the idea of parents + friendship in general: Once the parent fills a certain role for many years, why would you want to change that course of the relationship? What do you mean by friendship?


Friendship means different things to different people, I guess; I don't know what I mean specifically.

But it's not necessarily about "wanting" the nature of a relationship to change; that tends to happen on its own. I still respect and revere, but the nature of my relationship with my parents has definitely shifted from when I was a child and under their total authority. And it has not been a detrimental shift.



Island said:


> It's not healthy to consider yourself friends with somebody you have an unequal relationship with. When you're friends with your boss, it undermines his or her authority as your boss. When you're friends with your parents, it undermines their authority as guides, mentors, providers, and so on.
> 
> It's also reasonable that the people who changed your diapers and provided for you are not going to view you as their equals. There are certain exceptions, but assuming that you live a reasonably normal life, would you expect your parents to see you as their equals?
> 
> Friendship, at least healthy friendships, imply reciprocity. The people that you consider friends should likewise consider you their friends. Knowing that friendship also implies equal footing, I don't think many parents would consider themselves friends with their children.


I don't think equal footing is necessary for friendship. I don't see me and my parents as equals, but I don't see why that means we can't be friends at this stage in our lives.


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## Demetrius (Mar 21, 2016)

Yeah, I went on a tangent. 

I suppose if the parent is in your day-to-day business and serves the role as a friend (moreso than communicating with your actual friends), it can stop growth as an adult. You need distance in order to survive on your own. It can be unhealthy if a parent is involved in things such as you trying to learn how to maintain your personal and social relationships._ Too_ much so that it it doesn't allow for you to learn on your own.

If it becomes codependent and halts progress for you as an adult bag it and dump it in the ocean, I'd say. But you are the only one to judge that--and even then it could be hard to tell until either it's too late and it actually damages in ways you didn't actually see before.

Support is one thing, but certain levels of involvement is another is what I'm saying, here. You may need to create distance in order to determine what kind of involvement you need from them in your life and to stop them and you for overstepping certain boundaries. If there's a disconnect between role as a parent to begin with where it was easy enough to dissociate from that role, it may be harder to recognize what is healthy and what is not.


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

I agree with that.


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## Demetrius (Mar 21, 2016)

Also, there are some aspects in parenthood that can be viewed very similar to what friendship has to offer. Some parents allow their child to call at 3 in the morning or lay in their bed after their dog died well in their 50s, when personally, I'd see that as something a friend/significant other would do. Weird? It can be. But it also can show their child that they have that undying, strong support when their child is facing a truly rough time. Now, if that were to happen frequently? That's overstepping bounds.

 It depends on what kind of support system  is there, and what level of nurture you had in your childhood. What role did they serve in your life, you know?

 Alot of these things overlap.


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## Seto Kaiba (Mar 21, 2016)

I feel a degree of formality is necessary between parent and child. When my father tried to be friends with me, it immediately elicited feelings of skepticism and mistrust. There are certain faults I forgive in friends that I do not in parents or any figure of authority. In time I thought him "weak". Only when I intentionally provoked him did he start acting as an authority figure, but the damage had been done. He could intimidate me to listen, but he could not get me to listen out of any sense of respect. 

Naturally in adulthood, as I saw him grower weaker, slower, as he came off as increasingly less intelligent than I had thought him as a child, and as I needed him less and less for financial resources, that incentive to listen was gone. There was no true respect established there. He just came off as someone stuck in his youth mentally, and not as a genuine parental authority figure. Nothing I'd cherish or respect like my mother or my grandparents. It probably sounds weird to most people, but that was the type of person I was growing up. I hated the idea of the "cool" parent, and I know I will never be such a parent myself if I decide on children.


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## heartsutra (Mar 21, 2016)

Stunna said:


> 1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?
> 
> 2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?



1. I think our relationship is more stable than that of a friendship.

2. It's more likely that we'd be co-workers, I think. It's hard to imagine them at my age, especially if taking into account the circumstances they were in when they were my age. I don't think our paths would have crossed.


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## Deleted member 235437 (Mar 21, 2016)

1. lmao hell no 
2. Hell no again. My parents are too backwards to consider them "friends" now or in the future. They're just too traditionally Middle Eastern while I'm very westernized and don't believe in the same bullshit they believe in.


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## Deleted member 73050 (Mar 21, 2016)

Friends? no, they are more than that, and I treat them with high respect. I think it's rude to consider them your "friends".


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## Stunna (Mar 21, 2016)

I feel that


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## Vix (Mar 21, 2016)

Seto Kaiba said:


> I feel a degree of formality is necessary between parent and child. When my father tried to be friends with me, it immediately elicited feelings of skepticism and mistrust. There are certain faults I forgive in friends that I do not in parents or any figure of authority.



I completely understand exactly where you're coming from. Befriending a parent/child can always backfire in a way too, and can cause you to lose complete trust in one another. Though you would _think_ that you are equals, a parent can, and will always use the 'parent' card even when you're an adult. 

My brother trusted our father completely, he felt my dad was his #1 best friend in the whole world. Their 'friendship' was pretty much built on false hopes and broken promises, and in the end my father still used the "I'm the parent" card. Though I saw how manipulative my father was to him, my brother didn't see it because he was naive and felt like they truly were equals. Now he has a pretty strong hatred for our father because of that and can never forgive him for what he's done. Of course this upsets my mother because she felt that what my father did was very wrong and it caused my brother to have mistrust in not only him, but her as well.


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## dynasaur (Mar 21, 2016)

1. No. My father is that guy that contributed to my existence, my mother is that woman that contributed to my existence. My father did tons of atrocious things so I don't see us being friends or even close, we never had a father daughter relationship since he's absent, and even we did, he still wouldn't be my friend. My mother will never be my friend and I don't want her to even be my friend, our relationship is always unequal and more unequal by the way she treated/treat me. She already thinks she can treat me however she likes because she born me and raised me, a parental friendship would still be skewed and unequal if I was to have one with her. 

2. I can never be friends with people like my mother, in fact, I tend to avoid people who are the same as my mom, brushing them as having the same personalities. My mom and someone like my mom is someone I can never be friends with. Same with my dad.


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## Vivo Diez (Mar 21, 2016)

Stunna said:


> 1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?


Yes, but they're also my parents. They can be both once you're an independent adult.



Stunna said:


> 2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?



I think my dad would hang out in different social circles than me. Don't want to get into back to the future territory with my mom.


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## baconbits (Mar 22, 2016)

I don't really understand where many of you are coming from.  My parents were old school.  They were authority figures first and always.  But now that I'm over thirty years old (man, I'm old) the relationship has changed.  I still have the utmost respect for them and in our family respect is so strong we have more of a clan than the traditional American family.

But what would you call a person you respect, hang out with on a routine basis, have hobbies with, love and look out for?  Yes, family can incorporate all of that, but friend is by no means disrespectful.  I don't consider my dad a "friend" the same way someone at work is a friend, but I do invite him to watch sports games and we're in the same band.

But I'm also older than many of you, so that might explain the disconnect.


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## Gunners (Mar 22, 2016)

I think it is down to how people use certain words e.g. I wouldn't say my siblings are my friends but I do regard my close friends as my cousins. If I was on good terma with someone and they played a maternal or paternal role in my life,  I would and do regard them as my aunt or uncle.

I guess I just view it as levels.


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## Hamtaro (Mar 27, 2016)

I feel that in some cases here it's just semantics being argued.

I would consider my parents friends. Sure I don't treat them the same way or act the same way I do my other friends, but I have plenty of friends and social settings that are heterogeneous. I would consider pretty much all of my immediate family friends, but each with their own boundaries.


I would have probably hung out with my mom in high school and maybe college. I definitely could see myself partying and playing sports with my dad the way he was when he was my age.


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## SLB (Mar 27, 2016)

baconbits said:


> I don't really understand where many of you are coming from.  My parents were old school.  They were authority figures first and always.  But now that I'm over thirty years old (man, I'm old) the relationship has changed.  I still have the utmost respect for them and in our family respect is so strong we have more of a clan than the traditional American family.
> 
> But what would you call a person you respect, hang out with on a routine basis, have hobbies with, love and look out for?  Yes, family can incorporate all of that, but friend is by no means disrespectful.  I don't consider my dad a "friend" the same way someone at work is a friend, but I do invite him to watch sports games and we're in the same band.
> 
> But I'm also older than many of you, so that might explain the disconnect.



i believe age changes things significantly 

as i am still a university student and primarily dependent on them financially, they still play a major role in my day-to-day life. 

i mean once i'm in my 30's and i have started a family then obviously our conversations and relationship will change. but for now the possibility of seeing them as a friend is impossible. what they say goes and they made very sure that my brother and sisters were as subservient as possible. that's just the culture we were raised in.

i just feel the parent role should always be a cut above the rest for the sheer fact that i can't really respect other humans the way i respect and trust them. they are my main confident when things go wrong.

also what khaleesi said is somewhat true for me. now, i consider my parents incredibly liberal my muslim standards (something they had to adopt once they enrolled me in a predominantly white catholic schooling circuit), but we don't believe in the same stuff.


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## Atlantic Storm (Mar 27, 2016)

*1.* I don't think so. I get along with my parents, share drinks with my dad and occasionally have some man-to-man talks but I'm not sure I'd consider him a 'friend'. Maybe when I'm older and I can see him as more of an equal, but as it is, it hasn't been that long since I moved out. I still view him as a caretaker and mentor and although I'm more independent now, I'm still entirely dependent on him for finance. Calling him a 'friend' feels like it undervalues the role he's played and plays in my life. Same with my mum, really. 

*2.* Maybe with my mum, but not sure if I could manage it with my dad. I get the feeling that our egos would clash a lot.


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## Karasu (Mar 27, 2016)

That's all I've got.


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## Swarmy (Mar 27, 2016)

Stunna said:


> 1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?



Absolutely, I'm friends with my mom 



Stunna said:


> 2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?



I think so, my mom makes friends very easily anyway


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## Saru (Mar 27, 2016)

*1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?* 

My parents still help me out with paying for school. So no. As long as some form of dependency exists, I can probably never see myself as "friends" with them; our relationship is more complicated than that. I agree with what Moody said for the most part. That said, I feel things are unusual for me, because my Dad is the type of person who tries to smear the heck out of the boundary between parent and child because he's so... Goofy. Due to recent circumstances, my relationship with mother has also become more friend-like than I feel is normal, but that's something I expect to pass in time.

*2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?*

I would love to be friends with someone like my parents. 

They may have their faults, and they may have made mistakes or done things that I don't agree with, but those are things that I feel like the bond of friendship can bear just as well my parent-sibling relationship with them has. Some of those decisions wouldn't affect a hypothetical friendship between us in the same way they would affect our current relationship.


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## Cormag (Mar 27, 2016)

yes and yes.

grooming isn't as formulaic as it's presented here. there is no objectively correct way to groom your children although some itt make it seem this way. likewise, being friends is also not objectively the right way.

it's case-by-case and it all depends on the nature of the child and the parents. it worked out for me and i was very easy to handle for my entire life. essentially never made any trouble and largely kept to myself. this is why i think trinity's stance for example is perplexing, because it just makes it seem like people are caught in their own experiences and perception, especially when it comes to such a diverse topic like interpersonal relationships.


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## Asriel (Mar 30, 2016)

I have a mildly complex relationship with my mother. To say we are friends would be a gross overestimation. I'd say we're more likened to business partners than friends. My father has passed away, but in the time he was around and alive I wouldn't have called him a friend either... Definitely hard to pin what he was.

And with regards to either of them being my age changing the answer... No. My mother's too conceited and  self-righteous; and my father wouldn't have been caught dead hanging with someone outside of his income bracket unless purely in passing or when drunk at a bar.

Personal circumstances aside, it is a parent's _foremost_ responsibility and duty to rear you. And _if_ there is room afterwards for friendship, then I see no problem with allowing it to work itself out, whether it succeeds or fails. I just know that a lot of parents try to pass off "good parenting" as appeasing their children. It's abhorrently negligent to not draw a line somewhere between teaching a child life lessons and values that'll help them survive independently and enabling codependence which ill equips them for the rough ride that this world will most likely wring them through.

That said, some people just simply aren't cut out to be parents. Just yesterday I was discussing such a case where a mother I'd learned about tends to be a narcissistic unfeeling whore who sluts around with other men and sabotages her children for personal gain and a ne'er-do-well insecure father who spends most of his days drunk off his ass taking advantage of his kids' naivete to wait on him hand and foot or otherwise beats them into doing so.

Humans can be so fascinating sometimes.


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## Vix (Mar 31, 2016)

Actually now that I'm a lot older and wiser and capable of earning my own income and finances, my parents have developed a great deal of respect for me and my own happiness, regardless of the little things and choices of mine that they had resented for years. I do find that I have a more mature and better relationship with them after hitting the age of 22. I've always regarded my father as my best friend, as he would never tell my mother anything I would tell him, and aside from that he and I are so much a like that we tend to have each other's back like buddies. We're constantly joking about my mother and pulling pranks on her, and we have inside jokes. I mean, of course her has to act like a father if it gets to a point where it really annoys my mother, which is almost always. My mother and I on the other hand, have grown substantially within the last few years and she no longer has to feel like she needs to 'take care' of me or worry about my future or what my marital status is, since I'm capable of making my own decisions and being responsible for every action that I take. 

I do see that when we all hangout outside of home, whether it be the mall, the gun range, out at a restaurant, out for a drive, a family trip; we act more than just a family and have pretty much become buddies too. Your parents do end up becoming more like a friend than just your parent as you get older. I realized this after I had a conversation with my parents the other day and we were talking about the times we would all go out to the casino together and just hangout and how I wanted to take them to Vegas to hangout. I mean, shit we'd just hangout like how you'd hangout with your normal friends at a casino, only it was your parents. Crazy. It was then that I realized "oh dear lawwwd, I've hung out with my parents like they were my buddies before." We've sat at home and drank beer together, I've made mixed drinker for them before, and we'd just chilled and barbequed. We pull pranks on each other and get each other back ok random stuff like friends do. Which is completely weird because I come from a super strict and traditional background, but now that my siblings and I are all adults, my parents are finally free from having to take care of us like we're kids. I guess I could say as I get older, I could be friends with my parents because they're pretty cool to hang out with, but they'll always come first to me as a parent because I have a high level of respect for them and would never attempt to step over them or my boundaries. And I'm always going to feel that way because they're the people that raised me.

I _could_ speak on behalf of Haze, but I probably shouldn't. But I'm going to anyway since I can. He's really cool with his parents where he'd hang out with them like they're his bros, but he also has respect for them as his parents. My in laws are very lovely, but in this situation, I will always see them as my in laws and maybe not ever friends, even though we hang out quite a bit. I don't know how much more friendlier my MIL and I can get with one another, we text each other more than I would contact my own mother. I love her and care for her like my own mother, but I don't want to overstep my boundaries either. And I can't be vile, mean, and vulgar around her. Even when her son is poking fun at me in public, I have to remain calm and not flip out at him.


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## nidaba (Mar 31, 2016)

Like many have said, viewing your parents as friends is something that I think only can happen once you get older. I know that some parents try to be friends to their kids when they are in high school and such, but 've never been fond of parents that try to act like that. I have always felt like that undermines the respect that is necessary to be a successful parent. I always felt there was a clear line between my parents and my friends, even my older friends.

That said, I just had a child of my own this year, so I have started viewing my mom as my friend. Our conversations are on a different level now that we share that bond. 

If my parents were my age and not my parents though, no I would not be friends with them. We have very different tastes even down to small things like tv shows or  films. I can't imagine we would have anything to talk about.


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## Godly Giraffe - King of the Uverworld (Mar 31, 2016)

My parents were never my friends at all, nor are they the type I'd choose for friends in the first place. They both have high degrees of narcissism and while they did financially support me throughout my life, this was done more out of burden than out of affection and duty. They aren't even that close with each other. If I had to choose I'd want to be associated more closely to my mother, but she herself was probably the more arrogant and snobby one of the two, even if many of her other personality faults weren't as bad as her husband's. Either way, my relationship with them both is built more on the fact that I happened to be born from their union than any real emotional ties.

If they were my age and I knew them from their superficial appearance at social gatherings and the like, I might be on a first-name basis with them, but again, I doubt it'd grow to anything more. If I knew them as well as I actually do, I'd probably cut them out entirely (assuming we weren't family in that case).


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## D4nc3Style (Apr 14, 2016)

1. Yes
2. Yes


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## Deleted member 161031 (Apr 18, 2016)

We get along quite well right now and I can enjoy with them but they are not something as simple as friends but way more.

If we weren't related I guess I would have fought with my dad a lot because we are both way too stubborn


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## LesExit (Apr 18, 2016)

1) I'm friendly with them, I wouldn't describe my view of them as "authority figures", but not really "friends" either. Leaning much more towards friends than not though. I really hate the entire, parents aren't supposed to be your _friends_, they're supposed to be _AUTHORITY_ figures. ...Why can't they be a mix of both? I wish I had the relationship with my parents that some of my friends have, where they have such an open relationship and respect _each other_ as people, as I think good respect should go. Literally love one of my best friends dads, they do everything together and go on trips and he's just super supportive and what a great person(∪ ◡ ∪). Hate the parents who want "respect", but really just mean being listened to no matter what, cause they're the adult™. Ya ok, see how long your kid takes into consideration _anything_ you say since you somehow think your age makes you always right :/. I'd hope eventually as all kids grow up, they gain the ability to tell if their parents are giving them dumbass advice or not. At the end of the day being an adult means deciding what you want to listen to and do. Fucking up is a part of life too.

2) I don't think my parents would be the type I'd hang out with  They're nice tho


I feel like the term "friend" is just weird applied to family though. Even if your relationship is really similar to what you'd have with non family, I think it just feels weird to many to still label it as "friend", even if that's pretty much what it is.


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## lacey (Apr 19, 2016)

1) No. Friends are family, but family are not friends.
2) No.


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## Soul (Apr 20, 2016)

Stunna said:


> 1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?



Yes, to a certain degree.
I don't talk with them about personal stuff, but I can talk with him about lots of other things.



> 2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?



Hang out? Perhaps only with my father.
My mother has different interests than me, so I don't see it happening.


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## ? (Apr 20, 2016)

Stunna said:


> 1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?
> 
> 2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?



#1. Sure. Now. I've even played DnD with them. 

#2. Probably not. 

Further explanation: My parents have, well, gunna call it an Authority Switch; where you can tell by the tone of their voice and the way they're holding themselves that they are wanting to do something parent-like, so I know when the friendly happy times are over. 

And it isn't a Best Buds Who Tell Each Other Everything sort of friendship either. There are certain things I'd never tell them and they the same with me, due to them being my parents. Boundaries. 

Also, since I seem to have become a healthy, productive member of society complete with a job, house + my own family, safe to say I've turned out pretty well. 

Also also, there is no such thing as a completely balanced relationship. There's always going to be one half of the equation feeling more highly/less than the other person, just because of being different people.


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## ItEndsHere (Apr 21, 2016)

1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?


Nope.


2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?


Nope, my mom wouldn't be into a lot of the stuff that I'm into and my dad would be too much of an ass for me to get along with.


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## Hitomi (Apr 24, 2016)

1- used to be when they were alive, tho I was closer to my dad, we talked about everything.  

2- yeah, I'd enjoy them as friends I imagine. my dad  was funny and smart. my mom too, she was creative.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Itachі (Apr 25, 2016)

Nah. I see my cousins and half of my dad's step-brothers as friends because they're pretty young and I get along with them well, we essentially act like friends. I'm friendly with my parents sure, but I wouldn't consider them to be my friends. My parents also make it clear that they're my parents, so there aren't any blurred lines.


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## Frosch (Apr 27, 2016)

Yes, both me and my mother are very spiritual people, and not always it is easy to talk or share with others the things we learn and experience in our respective paths, she's the only person I can trust to talk about certain things with


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Oct 27, 2016)

nope, not friends with my parents. they just tell me what to do and when to do it. 

and no, i couldn't be friends with them. mainly because i don't know very much about them. they dont do "opening up"- aside from opening up about how us kids are fucking up our lives and turning into huge disappointments


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## Bender (Oct 28, 2016)

Of course. In another life me and my parents would probably be the best of friends.

I can joke with my mom a lot and we're good at talking politics with each other. My dad is patient enough to listen to explanation on MCU movies we go see or Netflix show. We also have fun verbal jousting each other.


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## Roman (Nov 3, 2016)

Stunna said:


> 1) Would you say that you are friends with your parents?



To some extent, and a very limited one. It wasn't always so, and I think it's to do with how they see me more on equal footing now that I'm completely self-reliant.



Stunna said:


> 2) If you parents were your same age and not your parents, would you be friends with them? Could you see yourself hanging out with them?



My dad, yes, I can definitely see it even if we don't see eye to eye on some issues. My mom and her side of the family tho? Please, keep me the fuck away from that shitshow.

In my view, there's no reason why parents can't be friends as well as authoritative figures at the same time. They have to know when to enact their authority, but at the same time simply being an authority figure won't give the child the incentive to open up to them. Much more often than not, a child will want to be more open to a friend about personal issues they're experiencing because a parent who's pure authority will either brush the matter aside as inconsequential, wrongful if it goes against their views, or even get offended if the issue is with regards to themselves. 

I found myself seldomly wanting to be open with my mother for this reason, and my sister now, a full 14 years younger than me, is having the exact same problem. Had my mother been more friendly and not simply raise us telling us what to do, what kind of person we should be (based entirely on her views, be it religious or otherwise btw), and so on, I doubt the relationship between her and my sister would be so strained right now. And this is also the exact reason why my mom and my grandma don't exactly have a good relationship either.


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