# Sex-Ed



## InoSakuShine (Apr 9, 2008)

*35% Funny. 10% Stupid. 25% Inappropriate. 30% Educational.​*
Haven't been here in like, year. Yeah, I've been on ff.net. I guess I just got in the mood for writing something a little more light and comical...

*Warning*: Although this is rated T, some parts are a little more mature. I didn't think I had to make it reated M, because there's definetly nothing explicit, but obviously some suggestive themes. I mean, look at the title! I hope no one taks offense, I really just meant it to be funny.

_Pairings_? Nothing too major. Things to look out for would be SasuSaku, NaruHina, NejiTen, InoKiba, but I'm not in a rush to pair them all off straight away, and such.

*Summary:*  Welcome to Jiraiya's Sex-Ed class. No really, it's very necessary. Honestly. Even if his students don't seem to think so...

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*Sex-Ed*

*Chapter One: This Is Not A Joke*​

It was around mid-afternoon, and there were only two people in Tsuande's office. Everyone else was smart enough to steer clear of it today, and they had a good reason, too.

"Well... " Tsunade shrugged. "Thanks. For volunteering to teach the class, since you believe it to be such an important subject-" The man before her nodded his head vigorously, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"But I do! And it is! See, how would the young shinobi of today survive if we didn't teach them-"

"Enough, Jiraiya!" Tsuande said, putting a finger to her lips. "You have to understand that this-this class is only educational, which means no excess information should be shared unless necassary." The Hokage wasn't sure Jiraiya knew the line between necessary and excess. But hey, it wasn't her job to find out, now was it?

Jiraiya waved a large hand in front of her. "I know, I know. Hey, I don't mean to brag but I'd like to call myself an expert!" Tsuande glared. "It's a job, and somebody has to do it."

The woman shook her head, and Jiraiya rubbed his hand together.

"Come tommorow, Jiraiya's sex ed class begins!" He laughed.


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The classroom was almost full, full of young, youthful, innocent shinobi, Jiriaya thought. This was going to be fun. Standing at the head of the class with his hands clasped behind his back, he drew in a deep breath and-

A hand thrust in the air and a voice rang out.

"Why are we here?" asked Naruto. The students around him nodded their heads-that is, Sakura, Sasuke, Tenten, Lee, Neji, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Kiba, Shino, and Hinata.

Jiraiya snorted. "What do you mean why are you here? Unless... Don't tell me. Your senseis didn't tell you?" He watched as they all unanimously shook their heads, and burst out laughing. "Of course. Why did I think they would?"

A certain impatient blonde blurted, "Yeah, yeah, pervy-sage, now tell us why we're here!" Jiraiya crossed his arms, and turned to the chalk board behind him. After a few scribbles, he suddenly whipped back around and stretched out his arms.

"Dun-da-da-dun-dun-da-DUNNN! Welcome to sex-ed class! With yours truly!" he giggled.

". . . . . . . . ."

Jiraiya looked around, and saw some faces with jaws slightly open. Other than that, everyone pretty much looked exactly the same.

"This is not a joke," he said simply.

Then a riot broke out. Shikamaru and Neji got to their feet and headed towards the door, and Sasuke was not far behind. Jiraiya stepped in front of the door, and Choji was busy trying to pry open some sealed windows. Kiba and Ino hopped up from their desks in the back and grabbed seats in the front. Hinata was fiddling her thumbs rapidly, and looked on the verge of tears. Sakura buried her head in her hands and silently cursed Kakashi while Naruto looked confused.

"What's that?" asked Naruto. Sakura looked up from her string of curses.

"What's what?"'

"Sex-ed?" Sakura sighed.

"Sex education?"

"Ahh." Naruto nodded. "Like... what?" Sakura glared.

"You know... Oh, God. Tell me you know what sex is!"

"I know what sex is!" the blonde proclaimed, and Sakura looked at him smugly. "Well... I have an idea... I just don't know the details."

"And that's why you're here!" Jiraiya added loudly, clasping his hands together. "You'll see it can be fun!" Sakura banged her head on the desk.

"This is so inappropriate," she groaned.

"Alright, class, sit down! I said SIT DOWN!" Jiraiya commanded, frocing the others back to their seat. The man scanned the seating arrangment and waved a finger. "This won't do... it has to go boy-girl-boy. Everyone line up down here." With many moans of protest, the class shuffled down the aisles into a line against the chalkboard.

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That's it for the first chapter. What did you think? Funny? Stupid? Well, I thought it was alright. If the ending seems cut off, that's 'cause it is. I originally planned a long-ass one-shot but I decided chapters would be better. So I had to make little insicions in the story, sorry.

R&R . PLEASE!

*PS. This is on ff.net too, so don't get all "OMG PLAGERISM!" on me. Even thought it clearly says my name.


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 9, 2008)

it's sort of.... odd.. and yet familiar. i hate my school soooo much now!! ugh!! i hate sex-ed. i like it... so far. gee, jiraiya as the teacher, there's going ot be A LOT of details. ew. it's good so far!


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## Bachi-san (Apr 9, 2008)

Dang, we're not starting umm... *twiddles thumbs* s- I mean... you know... Se- Oh ok, you got me, I can't even type it... I'm very shy. Anywho, my class isn't starting you-know-what until like a month from now... (we're on the circulatory system)

Awsome job! That's ridiculously funny


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 9, 2008)

just say it.. SEX. see? easy. just imagine your favv MALE character and say it, SEX. not hard for me.


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 10, 2008)

*Chapter Two!*

Yes, chapter two is here... Thanks for reviewing!
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*SexEd

Chapter Two: Ice Breaker*​
"Alright, class, sit down! I said SIT DOWN!" Jiraiya commanded, frocing the others back to their seat. The man scanned the seating arrangment and waved a finger. "This won't do... it has to go boy-girl-boy. Everyone line up down here." With many moans of protest, the class shuffled down the aisles into a line against the chalkboard.

"Alright... In the front there-Kiba, then that blondie... Ino? Yeah, Ino. And then... Shino. Behind them I want Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. Over on that side... how about Neji, Hinata, and Lee. In the back-Shikamaru, Tenten, then the fat one.

A few awkward, angry minutes later, with a couple cries of "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING FAT!?"

"No, I meant big boned!"

"That's not what you said!"

"What I meant was thick-"

-And they eventually settled in their new seats. Looking uncomfortable.

Jiraiya cleared his throat. "Now, we're going to do an ice breaker exercise to start. I want all the guys on this side to the room to look to their left, and all guys on that side to look to their right. Examine your female friends and-"

"OW!" a huge bump sprouted on Naruto's head, and Sakura's fist was raised and poised to strike again.

"Never mind! Never mind!" Jiraiya said. "How about we just go around them room, and say your favorite thing about the opposite sex. Come on, don't be shy. Believe me this is all relevant. We'll start with you." He pointed a large finger in front of him.

"Me?" asked Ino, and he nodded. "Okay, well... my favorite thing-"

"Or turn-on," Jiraiya added.

"Ahem. My favorite part of a boy would be... " she smiled. "His cold, dark eyes. And his mysterious aura. And that HOT body... uh! That stomach... " Everyone turned to stare at Sasuke, who was trying to keep himself from turning pink. "And-"

"Alright, alright, next!" Jiraiya said.

"What's that notepad for?" Asked Sakura, who noticed the little notebook he was scribbling in.

"Um.. just to remember things about you and... don't mind it!" the man answered hastily. "How about you Sakura?"

"Oh... um," she appeared to think for a moment. "I guess their smile." Someone coughed violently, and it sounded like the word "Cheesy!" and "Cliche!"

"But Sasuke doesn't even smile!" blurted Naruto, and Sakura glared.

"See? We already learned something today. The minds to women make no sense," Jiraiya said. "Next-let's just accomplish all the girls. Hinata, what about you?" All eyes turned to the girl in question, who turned beat red.

"I-I-I g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-guess t-th-t-th-that I... I... I... I l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-li-like-"

"Spit it out girl!"

"Personality! You know, like the way that people stand up for themselves when others put them down and they stick to what they know is right! Even though everyone looks down upon them they prove that they're wrong!" Hinata burst out. Jiraiya blinked.

"Right. Okay, you there, with the cool-looking buns." Ino pointed to herself. "In your hair."

"Me?" said Tenten. "I like a guy that's strong."

"Typical." He turned away. "Okay guys! Heh heh, tell me... Naruto. What do you like the most about girls? The curvy shape, the-"

"Eyes," Naruto said simple. Hinata's heart melted a little.

"Eyes?"

"Yeah," said Naruto. "Eyes." Jiraiya sighed.

"Come on, boy. When will you ever grow up? Come talk to me when you become a man. What about you, Kiba? What do you like."

"Hips," Kiba grinned.

"There we go," he said, giving the thumbs up. Others nodded in agreement!

"Ugh! Boys!" Tenten said disapprovingly, partly because Kiba was howling, and partly because she didn't have hips.

"Chouji, How about you?!" asked Jiraiya, who was apparently on a roll.

"Lips!" the boy said.

"Ahh, poetry. Okay, you, the quiet one. Shino, is it? How about you?"

No answer.

"Or do you go the other way?"

Shino's dark glasses gleamed. "I like bugs."

"..."

Jiraiya coughed and turned to Lee. He took one look at him and turned to Neji.

"How about you?" Neji crossed his arms and looked down.

"I prefer... a quiet woman." The class pondered his statement-even Jiraiya was confused. Then a light bulb clicked over his head.

"Ohhh, in bed. I got cha," he said, pleased. Neji 'pffed' and glared.

"I didn't say that. I said a quiet woman. Just quiet."

"Like, doesn't talk?" asked Kiba.

"Yes. They're less annoying that way," he stated, and Tenten growled and said something under her breath that sounded like 'asshole!' Kiba gasped.

"I knew it! I knew you had the hots for Hinata! She's your cousin!"

"What? No! I never said that-" Neji started but Jiraiya threw up his hands and ushered silence.

"Enough, you two. Neji's sexual preferences are to be respected. Everyone is to be respected, no mattter how abnormal, ordinary, or kinky they are. We're not here to judge people, we're here to learn! And lastly, Shikamaru. What do you like?"

"Intelligence," Shikamaru said simply and shrugged. And after that Ino sulked.

"Excellent ice-breaker! See how much you've leared about eachother already?" said Jiraiya, stuffing away his little notebook. "Now we get to the good stuff. So. Sex-"

A fist thrust into the air. "What's sex, exactly?" asked Naruto.

____________________________________________________


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## Lemonyscapegoat (Apr 10, 2008)

lmao!

please continue this is very amusing!


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 10, 2008)

It's hilarious!


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## Destined Hokage (Apr 10, 2008)

this is all wrong the class would've turned into an orgy fest.


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## Creator (Apr 10, 2008)

I like how Naruto thinks. Eyes.


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## Cair (Apr 10, 2008)

I couldn't help but lol at Ino. 

This sounds awesome, I can't wait to see what Lee says about this.


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## Lemonyscapegoat (Apr 10, 2008)

Oh yes, you *must* have Lee in this.


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 10, 2008)

YOU HAVE TO!! he will toatally take notes!


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## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 10, 2008)

i aughed..... then read on... then laughed some more.... my mother thought i was crazy..... and told me to be quiet.......


i really like this story keep it up....


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## Bachi-san (Apr 10, 2008)

Nice!  I lol at Shino 

PS. Still can't say/type the word


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## Shirker (Apr 10, 2008)

This is pretty funny. Keep it up, man!

lol, Naruto


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## Morphine (Apr 11, 2008)

that fic's great! i love it! keep up the good work


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## Table (Apr 11, 2008)

Pretty amusing xD


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## nejirocks! (Apr 11, 2008)

This is hilarious, I can't wait to hear more.


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## Morphine (Apr 11, 2008)

nejirocks! said:


> This is hilarious, I can't wait to hear more.


yeah you heard him give us another chapter!


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## narutouzumaki1006 (Apr 11, 2008)

That's so funny! I've always known Kiba was a semi-perv! Continue soon please!


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## The_Dei_un (Apr 11, 2008)

Lol shino likes bugs. Xd that crackedc me up good job .Keep it up.


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 11, 2008)

*Chapter 3*

Thanks for all the reviews! There so many... it makes me so happy! Ha, but we have a problem... You see, some of these chapters are already made. I had no idea there was so many Lee fans, so I've been seriusly neglecting him. Don't worry, I'll make up for it in later chapters. Here's the next one:

*Sex-Ed
Chapter Three: Oh Baby!​*
"Excellent ice-breaker! See how much you've learned about each other already?" said Jiraiya, stuffing away his little notebook. "Now we get to the good stuff. So. Sex-"

A fist thrust into the air. "What's sex, exactly?" asked Naruto.

". . . . Are you serious?" Sasuke muttered, shooting him an exasperated look. Jiraiya's face dropped and everyone began to giggle at Naruto's stupidity.

"C'mon kid! It's elementary! Does anybody care to volunteer to explain to Naruto what sex is?" An uncertain silence hung in the air as Naruto crossed his arms.

Tiny sounds were coming from the corner. Kiba and Neji were staring at Hinata in disbelief, who was pushing her fingers together dolefully and making the sounds in her throat, calling attention. The poor girl swallowed-hard.


I'll help Naruto! I'll prove to him that I don't just shrink into the background!

Hinata cleared her throat again.


"W-well, s-sex is... when t-two people love each other very much-"

"Wrong!" Interrupted Jiriaya. "Don't you kids know anything? Ninety-two percent of the time love doesn't have anything to do with it!"

"Yeah," Ino joined in expertly. "It's just that both people have to want it." She crossed her arms and smiled smugly. Jiraiya made a skeptical noise.

"Wrong again. Honestly speaking only one person has to want it but... " He trailed off after seeing the stricken look on his young students faces. "Um, let's brainstorm to get a good idea of the topic, without scarring you for life." He marched over to the black board and picked up a piece of chalk. "Come on, throw some words out!"

He wrote down everything he heard. By the end of the brainstorm, the chalkboard was covered. It said:

'How babies are made.'

'Fun.'

'What all men want.'

'No clothes.'

'Reproduce.'

'Toys.'

'Safe sex.'

'Fun.'

'Troublesome.'

'Fun.'

'What Sakura wants to do with Sasuke.'

'What Sasuke does not want to do with Sakura.'

'What Sakura thinks Sasuke wants to secretly do with her.'

'Sakura I DO NOT want to do THAT with YOU!'

'What Naruto would be more than willing to do with Sakura... you know, if she wants. And if they learn how in this class.'

"Okay, that's enough," said Jiraiya, stepping back to examine their work. He stroked his chin, calmly gazing at the bored. Then, he shook his head and proceeded to scribble on their brainstorm, stepped back, and examined his work.

Every single suggestion was crossed out except for "Fun," "How babies are made," and "What Sakura wants to do with Sasuke."

"These are some of the correct answers," announced Jiraiya. "So, do you have an idea now, Naruto?"

The said boy squinted at the board, and asked, "How come 'What Sasuke does not want to do with Sakura' isn't up there?" Sasuke nodded in agreement and scowled.

"Ahh, good question. Because he does, or at least he will eventually. Which brings us to our next lesson about hormones!"

"I do not!" Sasuke protested with a glare, but he was ignored. Jiriaya was going on by weird things like estrogen, testosterone, and other uncomfortable words that made Hinata squirm.

"Yes, so some of us have more than other... some of us have less," Jiriaya said with a small smile.

"Not pointing any elbows!" Kiba said loudly, shoving his elbow in Shino's direction, who glared behind his cool sunglasses.

"And when you let these hormones take control of you, there are... " Jiriaya sighed. "This is the part Tsunade wants me to emphasize so here it is. There are consequences for your actions!" His deadly tone reverberated through the room.

There was tension in the air.

"It only takes one time," Jiriaya said menacingly. "And you life as you know it... is over."

Naruto gulped, and some of the others began perspiring. What in the world is he talking about? Jiraiya planted his hands on his hips.

"What do you mean?" cried Tenten.

"So you want to know what happens when you're reckless... " He turned around and walked to the desk that stood in front of the chalkboard. He grabbed something under it-a huge, lumpy sac. "ARGHH!" he cried and threw it at them.

A torrential down pour of plastic baby dolls came raining down on them. The girls instinctively caught their plastic infants, while the boys watched wide-eyes as the freaky things smashed off their desks.

"Children! For you first class assignment, you and your designated partner will take care of your baby for a while day! Sounds easy, doesn't it?" All at once, the babies began to cry, whine, and squirm. Jiriaya took what looked like a remote control from his pocket, and clicked a button that stopped the infants.

"This is ridiculous!" said Kiba, poking his baby.

" Partners..." said Jiriaya thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose there aren't enough females to go around, so some of you will have to face even more hardship and have a same-sex relationship. Oh well. Let's start... Neji and Tenten, that's one. Naruto and Hinata can be another lucky couple..."

An artery in Hinata's heart nearly burst open.

"Sasuke, and Sakura. Ino, Kiba. And now we'll have to go gay..." Jiraiya explained thoughtfully. "That means Shino and Choji, Shikamaru and Lee."

Shikamaru banged his head his desk. "You can't force us to... to..."

"But Master Jiraiya!" burst out Lee. "I thought a flower could only be de-blossomed by pollun of the opposite gender!" THe man scratched his head.

"Enough of your flower similies, first off. Secondly... I suppose you're right. The rest of you will be excused from the assingment." An outbreak of cheers and protest rang in the sage's ears.

"Not fair!" said Ino. "I have to be with dog-breath here, but Shikamaru and Choji don't have to do it at all!" The white haired man put a finger to his lips and eventually the chaos died down.

"Yes, that's because they will be writing an elaborate essay on what they learned so far in sex ed class," said Jiriaya. "No more protests, just do as I say or I'll fail you all." With a satisfied grin, he watched his class full of students glare up at him with ill intent. "Now, get with your partners and give your child a name. Those of you who can't participate in this special traning, move to the back of the class and I'll get you started on that... essay..." He giggled and rallied half of the class to the back of the room.

Meanwhile, Naruto reluctantly left Sasuke to Sakura and met Hinata.

"So Sasuke! What should we name him?" asked Sakura enthusiastically, cradling the thing, whereas Sasuke looked repulsed.

"This is idiotic," he said shortly.

"Come on, you have to participate. You heard Jiraiya, it's required."

"I didn't hear him say that." Sakura sighed and turned to her partner.

"It doesn't matter. This is practice for when you revive your clan! I'll call him Sasuke Jr." Sasuke leaner over his desk as he coughed; something got caught in his throat.

"No, you won't," he said, ignoring Sakura's glare. She began rocking him faster.

"Yes, I will. Sasuke Jr... " She began humming lightly.

"Why don't you name it-"

"Him."

"-That thing something else that doesn't involve me."

"You mean... you mean you don't want to be part of our baby's life?"

"... Sakura, it's a doll."

"You're just going to walk away from it... Just like you walk away from me," She said angrily, her voice begining to quiver. Sasuke raised his eyebrows.

"But it's just a doll."

She averted his gaze and gently rocked the sleeping doll.

"A baby... Eh, I don't know about things like this!" said Naruto, holding the baby with one hand, by it's foot. The dangling doll began to whimper. "Where's the battery on this thing?!" Hinata, who had been on the verge of fainting because she was THAT close to him, held out her hands and took the baby from him.

"I-I think you're supposed to hold it likes this," she said, and cradled the baby to her chest. Immediately, it stopped whining.

"Woah Hinata! You're amazing!" Naruto said, grinning. "This is gonna be a piece of cake-" He was interrupted with the piercing screams of another doll. They both looked over their shoulders and watched as Sakura and Sasuke's baby cried loudly while they argued over it. "Poor Sakura, getting stuck with Sasuke."


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 11, 2008)

Hinata was eager to divert his attention away from Sakura. "I'm sure you'll make a great father," she said randomly. Naruto blinked.

"Hehe, thanks. What do you want to name him?"

"Um... How about... Nariko?"

"Hmm.. that sounds alright!" Hinata breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, what should I name her?" asked Ino, contemplating over the baby. Kiba frowned.

"You mean, what should we name him?" he asked. Ino froze, and her eyes were as cold as ice when she gave him the "look." Kiba winced.

"Her."

"... Alright, but all three of us have to agree on a name." Kiba said, putting his foot down. Ino snorted.

"Wait, three of us?"

Kiba blinked. "Yeah, me, you, and Akamaru." She burst out into high pitched laughter. "What?"

"Akamaru?" She repeated mockingly. "It's jusrt a dog, Kiba-"

"Don't you insult Akamaru!" Ino suddenly stood up, bearing over them.

"You don't tell me! This is our daughter! Not your dogs, and if you're going to put Akamaru before your own daughter than you might as well just leave!"

"Alright, don't make a scene!" the defeated boy mumbled, petting his dog. Ino sat back down and began rocking her baby. "So, what should we name her?" Kiba smiled sheepishly at the gesture. "I was thinking something like Asuka."

"Yeah, I like that." Akamaru barked in agreement.

Neji and Tenten both stared at the plastic baby resting on the desk before them. Hesitantly, Neji picked up the fake infant.

"This is ridiculous," Tenten said. Neji shrugged.

"I suppose caring for this child is nessacary in order to pass this assignment."

"Does that mean it needs a name?" asked Tenten, watching the thing. Neji shrugged.

"I don't see why it should."

"Alright... "

"Hullo!"

She jerked her head up, and the class turned it's attention towards Jiraiya, who had made his sudden appearance near the door of the classroom.

"Attention, attention!" he called idly, beaming. Naruto cast a look over his shoulder to see how far the others had gotten. All he saw was Shikamaru, Choji, Shino, and Lee turned bright red, shaking, hunched over their essays. A pile of broken pencils were scattered all over the table at which they sat.


They look like wrecks,

Naruto noted. I rather write a stupid essay than do this... Too bad I'm illiterate. He sighed deeply, and rested his chin on his hand.
...And if only I knew what illiterate meant.



Class is over!" Jiriaya annouced loudly, still grinning. Because the class so far had been, at least in his proud opinion, a success so far. But it had only begun... "And don't forget your homework!"

"Homework!?" His students cried indignantly.

"Yes, take those babies home with you! And don't think about cheating... These are high-tech dolls, I assure you. They're designed to test your parenting skills. Both parents, together. That means you have to spend a minimum of a few hours together with you child! Until next class, that is. Which is tommorow. So.. yeah, see ya!" With that he skipped out the door.

An enraged Ino jumped to her feet. "Hi-tech babies?! Where does he get all this free time!?"

There were grumbled of agreement, and soon everyone shuffled out, with their partners, of course. Family time was about to begin...

________________________________________________

That's it, and you won't believe what I have in store for later chapters =)


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 11, 2008)

HA! sasuke and sakura are going to kill each other!! i will laugh. AHHA!!!


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## Lemonyscapegoat (Apr 11, 2008)

pek I'm really liking this so far, can't wait for the next chapter!


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## Shirker (Apr 11, 2008)

This is just plain awesome. Ah man, Naruto: "Too bad I'm illiterate... and if only I knew what illiterate meant."

Keep it up!


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## AxelDemonSlayer (Apr 12, 2008)

this is so hilarious!
*Jariaya to Lee*: "Enough of your flower similies" lol!

Update Soon!


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## Bachi-san (Apr 12, 2008)

Oh Yeah! So awesome!


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## Morphine (Apr 12, 2008)

That's great! I can't wait to read more. I'm curious how will Naruto and Hinata cope.


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 12, 2008)

*Chapter 4*

Again, thanks for all the reviews!
I am like, Ms. Super-Updater if I say so myself! I've been updating everyday! Unfortunatly, I can't keep that up. Enjoy this for now.
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*Sex-ed

Chapter Four: What It's All About​*

An enraged Ino jumped to her feet. "Hi-tech babies?! Where does he get all this free time!?"

There were grumbled of agreement, and soon everyone shuffled out, with their partners, of course. Family time was about to begin...

"Sasuke!" Sakura called, chasing after the said boy. "What!" She held their darling baby in two hand over her head, chasing the dark haired boy down the street. She finally caught up to his quick pace, and fell into step behind him. "Come on. We have to spend time with Sasuke Jr. together, or else we'll fail! I've never failed a class... Just for a few hours. Come on, before it gets dark-"

"Alright!" he snapped, tired of her blabbering. "But stop calling him that." He stopped, and they stood in the middle of the street.

"Let's sit over here," Sakura said, motioning to a bench perfectly positioned under a nice lavender tree. Sasuke rolled his eyes and reluctantly joined her on the bench. The girl bounced the baby on her knees...

"HAHAHAHA!"

The evil, maniacal sound echoed over the tree tops of the village. It was coming from the roof of a particularly tall and quiet building.

"This is great," Jiraiya said, taking a seat on the roof. He rummaged in his pocket and took out what appeared to be a remote control with a screen. "I love technology... I guess it's time to see how my students are holding up. And give them a little test while I'm at it... "

He pushed a little button on the remote, and a green screen activated. He punched in number two, and on the screen flashed.

B a b y n u m b e r o n e a c t i v a t e d. W h a t i s y o u r c o m m a n d?

"Listen," said Jiraiya. The remote's speak made a fizzling sound, and soon two familiar voices reached his ears.

"You're always so cold!" he heard Sakura say, her voice raising. "Would it kill you to show a little empathy now and then?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Sasuke snapped. "Maybe you should stop pretending to understand things you have no idea about."

"Maybe I have no idea because you won't tell me!"

Jiraiya shook his head. "Uh-oh. This can't be good for the baby. Camera," He said into the remote, and it's screen flickered. The image of Sasuke and Sakura's face popped into view, a baby's eyes view. The camera shook and the plastic baby was being shaken.

"Cry mode," he commanded also. Suddenly, the baby began to bawl. What started out as low whimpers erupted into pathetic wails, and Jiraiya watched in satisfaction the shocked faces of his two students. "No fighting in front of the baby, punks."

"Look what you made him do!" cried Sakura, rocking it back in forth.

Sasuke stared at the little horror with murderous intent. "Is this what I'm going to have to put up with?" The baby cried louder. "Sakura, will you do something?" The pink haired girl looked at him with wonder.

Ding, dong.

Who could that be?

wondered Shikamaru idly as he went to get the door. As soon as he opened it, he was overcome with an urge to close it. Too bad he felt much too lethargic to even think about defying Ino as the moment. But Kiba, too? Man, this was a drag...

"Shikamaru!" Squealed Ino, jamming a foot in the door, in case he was in a feisty mood and decided to close it. Accompanying her was none other than Kiba Inuzuka.

"What is it?" the boy asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. Then he took a second look at the squirming baby in Ino's arms. "Oh... I get it."

"You do?" asked Kiba, inching forward.

"Then how come you haven't turned around and shut the door in our faces?" asked Ino.

Shikamaru smirked. "Well, you see. I have this essay to do, and I've never been good at the art of putting pen to paper. It's a drag. So... I think we can make a deal."

"That's great!" exclaimed his blonde friend. "I'm just not cut out for parenting... But writing a stupid paper. That I can do. Come on, Kiba!" She chucked the infant in Shikamaru's arms and turned to leave, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Wait... You don't even know what it's on. Here's the paper... " Shikamaru handed her a paper prompt, and watched as Ino and Kiba skipped joyfully away-responsibility free. He retreated to the confines of his house and set the baby on the couch. "I'm not sure why Ino thought I would actually watch you... But hey, you're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sure that old man bugged you with some kind of monitor. So, I think it's time for a little educational TV now..."

"Ha! What an idiot!" Ino said in her high pitched voice. "I know Shikamaru, and I thought he was smarter than that! Now all we have to do is write a quick paper." They came to pass a picnic table off of the street in a nice, shady area. Deciding it looked ideal, they headed towards it.

"We," Kiba groaned. "I'm not that good at writing.

"Just help me, okay? What does the paper say?" Kiba scanned the prompt Jiraiya gave his extra students, and read it out loud.

"For this essay, you are to explore the pros and cons of... sexual intercourse. State the significance in the ninja community? ..And the problems it may present? Also write a short narrative of what you interpret as... smut!?" Ino blinked.

"Woah... Thank God I'm so sexually educated, or else we'd be screwed!" she said.

"Sexually educated? You. Ha, okay Ino," replied Kiba, seemingly unconvinced.

"I am! I can prove it!"

"Prove it... "

"I'll show you. Then, I'll get this paper done, since you're useless." She sighed, and got to her feet. "Come on. It looks like I'll have to teach you a thing or two."

Somewhere deep in the training grounds, secluded by the cluttering trees, a kunai whizzed through the air, and buries it's nose in the precise center of a target.

"Tenten. Be careful of the doll. Are you paying attention to it." The girl sighed and cast a look at the plastic baby that was sitting harmlessly under a tree, and then at Neji.

"You're really taking this seriously, aren't you?" she asked. The boy crossed his arms.

"I take all my missions seriously. I think that's the point of learning the lesson," he said neutrally. His large white eyes were devoid of any annoyance, but neither did he look pleased. Tenten retrieved the doll and stared into it's painted eyes.

"I guess you're right."

"What do babies eat?" asked Naruto, in between mouthfuls of ramen. He was spitting hot broth all over the countertop, causing the ramen shop's owner to frown even more. He was already frowning in the first place at the fact that Naruto and his lady friend brought a plastic doll to the place, and were treating it as if it were their own.

"Umm, well, milk I'm sure," replied Hinata, letting the baby doll rest on her lap.

"I thought so. But... Do you think you'll have enough to feed it?" the blond asked, stealing a glance at an area below Hinata's face. The girl flushed a shade of red.

"Oh! U-U-Um... Well, it's only p-plastic so I-I don't think it needs r-r-real milk. A-And beside, you can only do that if y-you're a real mother."

"But... You are a real mother? Oh! You mean we need a real baby for you to be a real mother. Okay, I got it." Hinata gazed at the wondrous boy as he continued to slurp his ramen.

"Yeah... " She uttered, at a loss for words.

"Can I hold Nariko?" Naruto asked. Hinata nodded furiously and held the fake baby out for the blonde to take. As the baby fell into Naruto's hands he began to set his elbow down on the counter-and instead, he misplaced it in a bowl of steaming hot ramen.

"ARGHHH! IT BURNS!" He howled and threw Nariko in order to save his poor, sizzling arm. Together, he and HInata watched in helpless horror as Nariko flew through the air and over the counter, promptly before diving head first into a big pot of boiling broth.

"Oh my God-" uttered Hinata.

"-The owner is going to kill us!" Naruto finished, and leapt to his feet. He seized Hinata's arm and tugged her away and they ran off into the setting sun.

"HAHAHA!" Jiraiya was doing his "evil" thing again. "Let's see what those other brats are up to...Ino, Kiba," he said into his remote. "Vision and sound." The screen flickered and put up an image. For a moment Jiraiya thought it turned into regular TV. It was...

BayWatch.


"Oh, that is lame! They got the kid watched TV... Woah, woah, woah! Is that Pamela? Hehehehh..."

And he was entertained for a little while longer.

Sakura and Sasuke were returning from special "bonding time" with Sasuke Jr. when they came two figures in the distance. Sakura squinted her eyes and with the hand that wasn't cradling little Sasuke pointed into the distance.


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 12, 2008)

"Is that who I think it is?" she asked Sasuke.

"...Hn," he replied shortly, shoving his hands in his pockets. With unspoken consent they began to search for a separate street they could use in order to avoid them.

"No luck," sighed Sakura, and soon they came face to face with Naruto and Hinata.

"Hey Sakura!" Naruto's voice rang out. "...And you."

"Hey, Naruto. Hey-Hinata? What's wrong?" The sight of the shaking girl stopped her in her tracks. The poor Hyuga was teary-eyes and sniffling while Naruto had an arm around her shoulder. A vein pulsed on Sakura's forehead as she shot Naruto one of her So-help-me-if-it-was-you-I'll-kill-you looks. Naruto shifted his eyes downward to meet the gray pavement.

"Well... Hinata lost her baby. We lost our baby," he explained.

"What!? That's terrible, you poor thing," said the pinkette sympathetically, instinctively cradling Sasuke Jr. "What... What happened?" Hinata began to sob and Naruto shook his head.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"It was plastic," he said bluntly. Naruto shot him a desperate look that signified his understanding, but returned back to his pouting face when Sakura looked up.

"You-are-so-INCONSIDERATE! Hinata just lost her baby. Is that what you think of our own! How the hell would you feel!" She snapped, while Sasuke calmly took a few steps back. "It's alright, Hinata. We're going to help you through this."

"And me!" cried Naruto. "Pervy-Sage is gonna fail us once he finds out what happened!"

Sakura crossed her arms. "Okay, I know how to fix this. You just need another baby... And Ino can help us with that! She probably has one in her attic from like, forever ago. She'll fix everything. C'mon everyone, we're going to her house." With that, she hooked and arm around Sasuke's and began to watch in the opposite direction, with Hinata and Naruto at her heels.

"You better come or I'll tell Jiraiya I raised this baby as a single mother!" Sakura threatened, then added tearfully, "Just like my mother..." Sasuke only glared and wretched his arm from her grasp. At last, they reached Ino's. All the lights were off, but they knocked on the door anyway.

No answer. Hinata burst into tears again, so Naruto decided to break down the door.

They stood in front of the busted down door.

"Idiot," hissed Sasuke, and they proceeded forth.

"Ino?" called Sakura, moving into the dark house. With every foot step an eerie creek whined from below. Strange noises were coming from the hall. Hesitantly the group walked father into the house, towards the sole door where the noises were coming from. Sakura nudged Naruto first.

Then, they heard a deep voice.

"So! This is what sex is all about! It's friggin great!"


"..."

Sakura staggered back and covered her mouth; that voice was definitely Kiba's.!

"Told you I knew what I was talking about!" said a voice that couldn't be mistaken for anyone else's, but Ino's.

Sasuke twitched, and Hinata's jaw dropped slightly.

"Wait... " said Naruto. "Is Ino showing Kiba what sex is, exactly? I wanna know too!" The blonde threw open the door and pounced into the room.

"..."

"ARGHHHHH!" Sakura cringed and threw her hands over her face as Naruto ran out, tripping on the way. His feet left the ground and he barreled into Sasuke, who was already half way out the door. They both fell out of the house and down the stairs, Sasuke cursing all the way.

"You moron!" He shouted, throwing out a useless arm to help the fall, but it didn't stop them from tumbling into a confused heap. Sakura leapt over them and fell to her knees, crawling a few more inches until she began throwing up. After a few seconds, they all managed it to their feet.

"I'm done!" said Sasuke. "I'm leaving."

"I have to go take care of something," said Naruto, and Sakura shot him a suspicious look.

"I'm leaving, too. Sasuke, I'll just take... Sasuke Jr.? Sasuke Jr.? SASUKE JR.?" She screamed, looking around wildly. She darted into the house, and came back out, looking shocked.

"Don't tell me you lost it," said Sasuke.

"I didn't! I swear I had him the whole time, and if I didn't he would be in the house! MY BABY!" Naruto's brow furrowed and he went to comfort his friend.

"...Sakura," he said sympathetically, placing a hand on her shoulder. The said girl closed her eyes. "It's okay."

Suddenly they shot open and a strong wrist grabbed his arm. "YOU!" She shouted.

"What!?" He cried, trying to twist out of her grip.

"Hinata! It was her! Where is she? She stole my BABY!" Naruto's eyes widened and he held up his hands.

"B-But I don't think she'd do that!"

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! No! She lost her baby, so she stole mine! That bitch is gonna get it!" Flames were sprouting from her head.

"Sasuke! Control your pretend-wife!" begged Naruto, preparing to run.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

REVIEWS=NICE


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 12, 2008)

HAHAHAHAA!!!!!! kiba and ino were doing it!!! HAHAH!!!!!!!! hinata is a little... toooo motherly.. stole sakuras 'baby'!! HAHAHA!!!!


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## Bachi-san (Apr 12, 2008)

That was hilarious! Keep it up!!!


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## Morphine (Apr 13, 2008)

Ino and Kiba made out!  and did Hinata steal Sasuke Jr.? I don't think she could do such a thing...  Maybe she can... :amazed


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## Lemonyscapegoat (Apr 13, 2008)

This fanfiction is made of lulz.


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## Shirker (Apr 13, 2008)

lol, Ino and Kiba 

And Sakura's angry! Hinata, I hope ya didn't steal the baby, she's gonna kill you!

Keep 'em comin' man. This is gettin' interesting


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 13, 2008)

A lot of people were confused about his but...
Yes, Hinata did steal the baby. Ha, well the update will be in a few days. I need more reviews! =)


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## Cair (Apr 13, 2008)

Oh ho ho, Kiba!


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## southdakotaboy (Apr 14, 2008)

My oh My this is great! I need more. Now, now everyone Hinata just took the baby to save it from the horror of seeing Ino and Kiba doing... what ever it was they were doing. For some reason I have a mental image of Kiba chained up in his underwear in one of those big spinny hoops things they have at fairs, while Ino stands nearby dressed in a black leather dominatrix outfit holding a riding crop. Or is that just me letting to much info out.


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## Morphine (Apr 14, 2008)

InoSakuShine said:


> A lot of people were confused about this but...
> Yes, Hinata did steal the baby. Ha, well the update will be in a few days. I need more reviews! =)



She did?
Hinata how could you?
hinata : I can't be the only one without a baby!and what do you know?I'll show you! BYAKUGAN!
*runaway*


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## schon (Apr 15, 2008)

This is great stuff!  I really like how you portrayed shikamaru, I really think he would act like that.


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## nejirocks! (Apr 17, 2008)

It's good, but very similar to mine, read it on the second post page.


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## solid2k8 (Apr 17, 2008)

I love this fanfiction


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## Moritaka (Apr 17, 2008)

lulz. good


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## Gaara=] (Apr 17, 2008)

Haha, I love this. It's great and original... (: 
Updates soon??


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## Lemonyscapegoat (Apr 19, 2008)

can has updates plz?


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## Kurugari_Shadou (Apr 19, 2008)

i really liked it. it made me smile. it seemed real sorta. like i knew it would never happen in naruto but if it did, thats the way it would.

so kiba and ino had sex? that got me hard.  this shit is hilarious!


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## Morphine (Apr 20, 2008)

need... update... soon...


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 21, 2008)

Yeah, update. Sorry it took so long!

*Sex-Ed 

Chapter 5: The Lemons​*
"Oh-ho-ho-ho! No! She lost her baby, so she stole mine! That bitch is gonna get it!" Flames were sprouting from her head.

"Sasuke! Control your pretend-wife!" begged Naruto, preparing to run.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Knock knock knock._

"Hey... Shikamaru?" Grumble, grumble.

Knock knock knock.

"Mmm... Shikamaru." The door slowly opened and a big, round shadow slid onto the floor, the sillouhette of Chouji Akimichi. Chouji closed the door behind him and wandered into the livingroom.

"Shikamaru I need help on this stupid essay. I just don't get it. It's been bothering me so much I haven't even had time to eat... " An earth-shaking rumble sounded from his middle, whole-heartedly agreeing with the statement. He stopped once he saw Shikamaru, dozing fitfully on the couch. "You're no help." He went to sit down with his friends when he happened to see...

A plastic baby.

"Oh?" He stared down the thing for a few seconds before deiciding not to move it, and took a seat on the opposite couch. He rummaged through his coat and retrieved a pen and crumpled piece of paper.

"Let's see... I might as well start until he wakes up. What should I write...

Before deciding to engage in any sexual act, one must realize what's a steak

"Um, wait... I think I spelled... spelled that wrong."

-one must realize what's at stake. They could potentially get a BBQ

A large drop of drool splattered on the paper. "No! Not BBQ... STD. STD...So hungry..."

So, while many guys see a hot dog and wanna be with her, they have think how many partners she's had be-

"Hot chick! UGH! I'm too hungry to do this! And I can't do it with that baby looking at me like that!" He stole a look at the seemingly innocent doll.

He fidgeted. "And what are you looking at you..." The more Chouji seemed to stare, the more the baby began to look less like a baby and more like a nice, juicy ham. "Is that a... ?" He drew closer, salivating.

"It makes more sense Shika would fall asleep with a nice ol' ham by his side, doesn't it? I'm ... so hungry..."

A few minutes later, Shikamaru roused from his sleep. He slowly came to his senses and yawned. And then he saw...

"Chouji, what are you doing here? What, you just helped yourself to the fridge again, didn't you?" He rubbed his eyes and blinked at his friends, who was savagely chewing at what looked like a chicken wing, or something.

Or Something.

In fact, the more Shikamaru looked at it the more it seemed like a baby's arm, and less like a chicken wing. He happened to glance to his left and see the baby sitting besides him, exactly as he left it.

Heh, that's funny, Shikamaru thought as he picked it up. I thought for a minute that-

The baby was missing an arm.

"CHOUJI!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jiraiya was pleased to announce, 9 am that morning, that class was back in session. The last few stragglers came in a few minutes late, and eventually everyone was in their assigned seats. Except for, the sage noticed, that quiet girl Hinata.

"GOOD MORNING!" He boomed unnecessarily, because it wasn't as if anyone was talking. Still, the volume of his voice shocked a few of the little pests into sitting upright. "I hope you all brought your babies!" He scanned the room for the plastic dolls; some looked a little worse for the wear.

"Since it was your first assignment, I'll be checking their condition on a daily basis. Starting today! So when I call you up, bring the thing." He took a scroll from his pocket.

"Sakura, Sasuke! Please bring your kid up here." He waited for several seconds before realizing neither of them had moved. "What are you waiting for?"

Sakura was gripping the sides of her desk with suppressed fury, while Sasuke sat calmly with his hands folded.

"We don't have it," he said shortly. He could practically feel the anger radiating off of Sakura next to him, and Naruto was shrinking in his seat.

"... What?" asked Jiraiya. Sakura, unable to contain herself any longer, jumped to her feet.

"HINAT-" A hand firmly gripped her arm and yanked her back down, interrupting her speech. She glared at Sasuke, who had stopped her, and he shook his head slightly.

"I wasn't aware it was to be brought to... class." Everyone looked at him.

Jiraiya was puzzled. "I thought I made that clear... Ah, I forget how stupid kids are these days. I can tell you now, though, dear Uchiha and wife; leaving your baby by itself at home? Tsk, tsk. Does everyone else have their baby?"

A small fist raised itself in the air.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"U-Um, well, Hinata is sick today..."

A violent bout of coughing erupted from the corner and a certain pink haired kunoichi said, "Missing in action!"


Action?

Jiriaya thought and grinned, rubbing his hands together.


"-And she still has the baby!" Naruto finished loudly. "So I'll show it to you tommorow!"

"COUGH, COUGH, BABY-STEALER, COUGHCOUGHCOUGH!" Naruto flinched.

"Ah well. Next: Neji and Tenten," Jiraiya called in a sing-song voice. Tenten sidled down the rows, carrying her perfect-condition baby. She handed it to Jiraiya, who examined it for bruises, scrapes, etc.

"So far, so good!" He announced. "Next: Ino and Kiba."

Ino turned a sickly shade of green, and looked behind her shoulders at a certian spiky-haired boy.

Shikamaru froze when her eyes caught his. Those piercing blue-ish eyes promised sure castration in days to come. He would have to avoid Ino from now on, as if his manhood depended on it. Ino elbowed Kiba in the ribs.

Shamefully, the boy stood and handed his baby to Jiraiya, who blinked twice at the mutated thing.

"It's missing an arm," the man was kind enough to point out.

"Um, yeah..."

An awkward pause ensued.

"Alright, um, you can go back to your seat." He took the walk of shame back, avoiding the accusing glares, and hearing the furious scribbling pen that Jiraiya was putting to use on his scroll. Just then, In the outside hall, a pretty new chunin passed by the door.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom. When I come back I'm collecting essays," Jiraiya said hastily and bolted out the door. Upon his departure a chorus of chattering broke out.

Sakura was furious as she addressed Sasuke. "Why did you stop me from telling him Hinata stole our baby?"

"There's no need to attract any unwanted attention to our problem before we can solve it," he said simply. Sakura snorted, betting her left hand that Naruto had somehow bribed Sasuke into not telling. She shifted her glare to Naruto, who was carefully avoiding her eye. "You! Come here."

Naruto whirled around with exaggerated surprise etched in his features. "Me?" he said, pointing to himself. Sakura jabbed her thumb towards herself, and Naruto scampered to her.

"You better get Sasuke Jr. back! This is ALL your fault! If you didn't lose yours in the first place..."

"SHIKAMARU! YOU ARE DEAD!" A high pitched voice screeched from below them, and they saw some scary blond girl move through the rows like a tidal wave. "IT'S YOUR FAULT MY BABY IS DEMENTED! You should have watched him!" Shikamaru screwed his eyes shut, waiting for the impact.

"Maybe you should have watched it yourself in the first place, you troublesome hag!" He said before he could stop himself. This comment further fueled the rage of the furious girl.

"Yeah, instead of fooling around with Kiba at your house!" Sakura snapped, irritated that her rampage on Naruto had been outdone by Ino's own boisterous act. Kiba slid around in his seat with daggers in his eyes.


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 21, 2008)

"Exactly what do you mean, 'fooling around'?" He asked testily.

"Oh, please. I was there when Naruto walked in on you guys, and ran out screaming!" Sakura said, crossing her arms and shooting Ino a triumphant look. However, the blond girl had question marks dancing in her eyes.

"What do you mean..? Me and Kiba were watching the Discovery Channel when Naruto burst in, and he stepped on one of my pin cushions I left on the floor. He slipped backward and ran out, yelling in pain. Why, Sakura? Tell us what you thought we were doing!"

Sakura was gaping at Naruto, who shrugged.

"It's true?" he said. There was a sharp 'thud' and Sakura banged her head onto the table, and stayed there.

"Control your neurotic wife!" Kiba told Sasuke, who edged away from the pinkette, promptly disowning her.

"Hey, Naruto... what happened to your baby, anyway?" Sakura asked dismally, analyzing the blond boy who was twiddling his fingers in a fashion much like Hinata's.

"U-U-Um I r-rather not s-say..."

At that moment, Jiriaya conveniently decided to pop in.

"I'm back! Now, where were we-"

Sakura pointed a slender finger at the man, who ceased speech.

"What is it now, Sakura?" he asked unenthusiastically.

"Jiraiya-Sensei there's something on your face." Jiraiya touched a hand to one of his cheeks.

"Like what?"

"A handprint," Ino pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! As I was saying, those who did not participate in the parenting assignment, please hand foward your essays." Suddenly his cheeks glowed red and he appeared to be excited.

"Perfect, perfect, perfect," he muttered as he snatched the stack of papers from Ino's hands. "Now, we're going to read some out loud."

"What?" groaned Shikamaru, burying his head in his hands. Jiraiya waved his hands in front of him.

"No, no, not the whole thing. Just your feeble, inadequate-yet-assuredly-revisable attempts at lemon." He cleared his throat and shuffled the essays. "Here's one that looks promising. It's by Lee."

The class groaned collectively, and Lee threw his fist in the air.

"Alright! I spent so much time on my lemon, illustrating the perfect scenario of the process that inhibits reproduction!" He gave everyone a thumbs up.

Jiriaya rubbed his hands together and began to read out loud. "Great! Now let's se...

'Deflowered, by Rock Lee.

I was sweating from a hard day of work... Then I saw you. You looked so delicate and beautiful, I just had to meet you. I could smell your lovely fragrance from where I hovered uncertainly, that sensual lavender smell. Unable to contain myself, I went over to you. You didn't move, just stood there basking in the sun. I couldn't help it, I flew over and landed on top of you! I drank your delicious juices and spread pollun all over your petals. Just like that, I flew away, in search of another. I knew now you were pollunated, and would scatter your seeds that would grow into other flowers, just as beautiful as the one they came from. I was just nature's hardest worker, the bumble bee, doing what I did best."


". . . . . . ."

Rock Lee started sobbing, tears streaming from his eyes, touched by his beautiful masterpiece.

Jiraiya twitched.

"What was this...?" he asked. "I... asked for lemon."


That didn't sound like a sour, yellow fruit to me,

thought Naruto, puzzled.


"Yes! You asked for lemon, a story containing sexual content. In my story, a bumble bee bravely pollinates an asexual flower by spreading it's pollen to-"

"DEAR GOD, PLEASE HELP THESE CHILDREN!" Jiraiya cried hysterically. "Get out-just get out!"

"Were you that moved by my lemon?" asked Lee, still crying tears of joy. He stood up, and calmly walked to the door. "I am going to go inform Gai-Sensei about this splendid victory!" They watched as he skipped out the door.

Jiraiya wiped his forehead and shuffled the papers again. "Come on, I need a winner. Chouji this time. Alright, here we go...


Delicious, by Chouji.

He looked at the beautiful creature and licked his lips. She was glazed and sweating, her skin looking perfectly delicious. He snatched her fat, slippery flesh and put it in his mouth, devoured it. It was the best ham he ever had in his life, and whoever cooked was a jenius-"


There was the sound of someone vomiting in the back of the class, and Chouji was salivating all over his desk.

"Uh, Tenten, are you alright?" asked Jiraiya. "Honey, he's only talking about a ham. The food! What the hell is this? Don't you know what lemon is?"

"Yeah!" burst out Naruto. "What's wrong with you guys! I could could tell a better lemon off the top of my head!"

"Oh yeah, then why don't you do that!" shouted an enraged Chouji.

"I will." Silence met his words, and Naruto stood up and cleared his throat. His two teammates beside him looked up at him in wonder, and then edged away in embarrassment.

"Here's my lemon!" He proclaimed, and rubbed his chin. "Um... It was juicy, very juicy! And yellow. When the girl bit into it, her whole face twisted 'cause it was really sour-"

"YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A LEMON," Jiraiya screeched. "It's not that kind of lemon, not the fruit!"

"Then what is everyone trying to write about!?" Naruto shouted back, confused.

"I can't stand you kids! Class is dismissed for today! Just get out!" There were some murmurs and whispers, but no one really looked disappointed at the sudden dismissal. Sakura was the first one out the door, and she even forgot to drag Sasuke along with her. Because... She had a baby to go rescue, and a Hyuga to go kick.


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## InoSakuShine (Apr 21, 2008)

My computer is really malfunctioning, but nevermind. I fixed it.


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## southdakotaboy (Apr 21, 2008)

YAHX3 more Sex ED. I love a story that keeps me giggling like this one does. Keep up the great work


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## Miss Fortune (Apr 21, 2008)

HAHAHA!! NARUTO IS A MORON!! HAHAHA!!! kiba and ino were really watching discovery channel? HAHAHA!! NARUTO IS A DUMBASS! HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Bachi-san (Apr 21, 2008)

Oh wow... Lee... He's just so strange 

This is definitely one of the best fanfics I've read


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## Shirker (Apr 21, 2008)

Jiraiya's reaction at Lee's Lemon was prieless 

Thnx for the new chapter. I haven't read anything this funny in a while


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## forkliftjoe (Apr 21, 2008)

I was gonna guess "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" with the late Marlin Perkins...

(Use Wikipedia and look 'em up!...)


ForkliftJoe


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## Morphine (Apr 22, 2008)

they weren't making out? watching discovery? than why did she moan? wonder what was on  anyway I'd love to  read some more... I hope Sakura doesn't kill poor Hinata


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## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 23, 2008)

I'm totally with hinata man.... she's like one of those obsessed mothers that kidnapped children because they love them so much...

this story is freaking hilarious..... i love it... this is by far the best story i have ever read including the one where sakura goes  to an all guy academy.

discovey channel reminds me of a song......

The bad touch by the bloodhound gang 

*Spoiler*: __ 



Ha-ha, well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other
Very important differences
Between human beings and animals
That you should know about
I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby, sweat baby
Sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff
That only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants
And I bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered
Like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Comin' quicker than Fed Ex
Never reach an apex
Just like coca-cola stock
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early
Just like daylight savings time
Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let''s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Love the kind, you clean up
With a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt
Only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific
I wanna go down in your South Seas
But I got this notion
That the motion of your ocean means
"Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs
High tide B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on
I'm Mr. Coffee
With an automatic drip
So show me yours, I'll show you mine
"Tool Time"
You'll Lovelett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style
So we can both watch "X-Files"

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let''s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let''s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let''s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now


----------



## Miss Fortune (Apr 23, 2008)

HAHAHA!! i laugh at what you just put up!!! HAHAHA!!!! *falls down clutching stomach* HAHAAHAAAH!!! OWW!! MY SPLINE!!! AHAHAA!!!!!


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 23, 2008)

it's an awesome song... my pimp has made it our offical hoe song.... along with fer sure.... hey fer sure by medic droid would be a good theme song for this also


----------



## Bachi-san (Apr 23, 2008)

To Clara: It's spelled "spleen". 

I love Lee's essay  It's awesome


----------



## Miss Fortune (Apr 23, 2008)

hehe!! sorry! im not good with typeing tonight! or anything to do with human body!! sorry!  thanks for pointing it out.


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (Apr 23, 2008)

if they were watching discovery channel, then why was kiba so exited? ill have to re-read that chapter.

hmmm...were they watching some discovery porno? cuz no one would be that exited unless he was getting laid. it must be a lie by ino-i want them to have sex


----------



## forkliftjoe (Apr 24, 2008)

Kurugari_Shadou said:


> if they were watching discovery channel, then *why was kiba so exited*? ill have to re-read that chapter.
> 
> hmmm...were they watching some discovery porno? cuz no one would be that exited unless he was getting laid. it must be a lie by ino-i want them to have sex




Well, if they were watching a couple of dogs...

Now, there's a new Jutsu!  

(And a whole bunch of really bad jokes!)


----------



## zaphood (Apr 24, 2008)

pure genius, inspired.

only thing its missing is some mass shadow clone masturbation/ henge (mass worked better in this instance than kage)

keep it up...


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 24, 2008)

whooo hoo that sound like fun..... add an orgy bed, and it could be a threesome


----------



## southdakotaboy (Apr 24, 2008)

Please oh please have Naruto make a bunch of boy and girl clones at some pointX3I mean just think of the what fun that would be.You could have everyone there  Like the old saying goes "the more the merrier"


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 24, 2008)

and sweatier


----------



## Franky (Apr 24, 2008)

I lol'd... a lot, awesome fic!


----------



## Gaara=] (Apr 24, 2008)

I love it. 
''What were you that moved by my lemon?''


----------



## kakashi:D (Apr 25, 2008)

haha!! this is brilliant!! lol to lemons.... 
Poor naruto, im like him, totally clueless. 
Great fanfic!!


----------



## zaphood (Apr 26, 2008)

damn, trying like mad to rember the anime where this actually happened.

everyone in the class was given 'hi-tech baby bots' as homework and fun etc ensued.

bleach (filler) maybe? argh. this is wrecking my head


----------



## Gaara=] (Apr 26, 2008)

Naruto is actually clueless. I love the way you portrayed him, I could totally imagining him acting like that. (: And Sakura, I hope she doesn't kill Hinata. (: Sasuke makes me laugh... I think he enjoys Sakura being angry?? 

Turns him on


----------



## Morphine (Apr 26, 2008)

Gaara=];15708470 said:
			
		

> Naruto is actually clueless. I love the way you portrayed him, I could totally imagining him acting like that. (: And Sakura, I hope she doesn't kill Hinata. (: Sasuke makes me laugh... I think he enjoys Sakura being angry??
> 
> Turns him on




I think so too maybe he laughs when she's angry (quietly of course)  and what? turns him on? Sasuke? I'm not saying he can't be ,but... oh well he doesn't seem turned on in any of the situations... maybe he's hiding it? so some more coming up?


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (Apr 26, 2008)

i hope so. it feels like ive been waiting forever for the next chapter


----------



## Gaara=] (Apr 26, 2008)

VampireBlood said:


> I think so too maybe he laughs when she's angry (quietly of course)  and what? turns him on? Sasuke? I'm not saying he can't be ,but... oh well he doesn't seem turned on in any of the situations... maybe he's hiding it? so some more coming up?



I meant that Sasuke gets turned on by Sakura. (:


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 26, 2008)

no, sasuke could never get turned on by sakura...... she's a girl.... now naruto on the other hand...... sasuke, hide yo pants


----------



## Gaara=] (Apr 26, 2008)

Kisara_Momochi said:


> no, sasuke could never get turned on by sakura...... she's a girl.... now naruto on the other hand...... sasuke, hide yo pants



Haha... Sasuke's become a man... *sniff* 

And the bulge continues to grow...


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (Apr 26, 2008)

a gay man...naruto and hinata are gonna GET IT ON soon!!!


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 26, 2008)

naw, i'm pretty sure, sakura's gonna try and rape sasuke soon, against his will and prefence of course


----------



## forkliftjoe (Apr 26, 2008)

Would you look at the count on this Thread...

Great day, man!

It's like putting a sign that sez "FREE BEER" out in front of a church!

~ FLJ


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 26, 2008)

lol nice...... it's just because we love this story, we're such horny kids


----------



## Morphine (Apr 27, 2008)

Gaara=];15712218 said:
			
		

> I meant that Sasuke gets turned on by Sakura. (:



that was what I mean too...wasn't it obvious? well anyway another chapter coming soon?


----------



## Gaara=] (Apr 28, 2008)

VampireBlood said:


> that was what I mean too...wasn't it obvious? well anyway another chapter coming soon?



Yeahhhhhhh... (: 
Boredom is getting the better of me... I have nothing to laugh at. =/
*sighh**


(:


----------



## southdakotaboy (Apr 28, 2008)

Still no update. We need our next course of sex-edX3X3X3


----------



## MasterChick (Apr 28, 2008)

EPIC WIN!!!!!!!  

Funny...Very funny...Naruto is in Character...short of...Lee is almost there. I read other fics with Lee in it before, and they are totally not in character. You almost got it...That's why I Love it!! Keep it comin...

Naruto describing Lemons was priceless...totally Naruto...


----------



## randomhater (Apr 29, 2008)

looool. i`ve been laughing ever since i read your first chapter. so funny. 

hope you update soon.


----------



## Saphira (Apr 29, 2008)

I like this fanfic ...when are you going to update? X3


----------



## zaphood (Apr 30, 2008)

southdakotaboy said:


> Still no update. We need our next course of sex-edX3X3X3



I agree, people like you and that bird who draws the Yondami Gainden should put your life on hold in order to supply us with win.


----------



## MasterChick (Apr 30, 2008)

No updates, yet?


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (Apr 30, 2008)

awww come on, and todays even my birthday...


----------



## Miss Fortune (Apr 30, 2008)

CELEBRATE KISARA'S BIRTHDAY WITH THE NEW CHAPTER!!


----------



## Nightmare (Apr 30, 2008)

_If this is on another site can i get a link ... im in no mood to read any story that spans across pages  _


----------



## MasterChick (Apr 30, 2008)

I agree with Nightmare!!!


----------



## zaphood (May 1, 2008)

don't be such lazy f*uckers


----------



## MasterChick (May 1, 2008)

I'm sorry for being lazy...


----------



## Nightmare (May 1, 2008)

InoSakuShine said:


> *35% Funny. 10% Stupid. 25% Inappropriate. 30% Educational.​*
> 
> Haven't been here in like, year. Yeah, I've been on ff.net. I guess I just got in the mood for writing something a little more light and comical...
> 
> ...


_This is the link i demand ... i can't find it on ff.net  _


----------



## MasterChick (May 1, 2008)

Did you type in Sex-ed?


----------



## Nightmare (May 1, 2008)

_Yes ... i can't find anything remotely close  _


----------



## MasterChick (May 1, 2008)

really... 

Well, we need the author give us the link!!!!


----------



## zaphood (May 2, 2008)

need the author to give us the next chapter


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (May 3, 2008)

yes. i would like more....


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (May 3, 2008)

the next chapter isnt here yet? 

ugh, ive been waiting forever


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 3, 2008)

i have an idea! no one post until the next chapter!!!!


----------



## Nightmare (May 3, 2008)

_I can't read this story  ... why the fuck hasn't the author given a link yet  _


----------



## MasterChick (May 3, 2008)

I...NEED......MORE...!!!!


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 4, 2008)

claraofthesand, would you like to be my friend?


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 4, 2008)

huh???


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (May 4, 2008)

maybe the author just forgot about NF....


----------



## SeventhDan (May 4, 2008)

BAW!!!!I can't stop laughing! OMG!!!This is hillarious!


----------



## Franky (May 4, 2008)

UPDATE, *NOW*


----------



## MasterChick (May 5, 2008)

yes...update now


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 5, 2008)

how about we not post til the author updates it??? huh????


----------



## MasterChick (May 5, 2008)

but...


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 5, 2008)

REBEL!!! POST THE CHAPTER OR NO MORE POSTS!!


----------



## MasterChick (May 5, 2008)

Yea!!!!!   :shrooms


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 5, 2008)

Clara, I am new here so I need a few friends, well? Want to be my friend or not? By the way todays my b-day.


----------



## Nightmare (May 5, 2008)

_Happy birthday  _


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 5, 2008)

happy b day!!!! ok, ill be your friend hinata!


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (May 5, 2008)

screw rebelling, i demand the next chapter! 

ill be your friend, hinata...would you be my e-gf?


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 5, 2008)

pervert.


----------



## MasterChick (May 5, 2008)

Keep it in ur pants Kuru 

NEED A NEW CHAPTER!!!!!


----------



## Nightmare (May 5, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> pervert.


_YES I A-  ... oh oh shit you were talking to kuru  _


----------



## Bachi-san (May 5, 2008)

Maybe our dear author's computer is malfunctioning again... Says that he hasn't been on since april 26th on his profile thingy.


----------



## MasterChick (May 5, 2008)

maybe...


----------



## zaphood (May 6, 2008)

right time to send out search parties for him.

Imagen if he was dead? damn, who would we get to finish it off?

anyone have any suggestions for who could continue it if OP turns out to be dead?


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

Don't say that...


----------



## Franky (May 6, 2008)

that's just plain mean


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

Very very very Mean...He's not dead or is not going to die


----------



## Franky (May 6, 2008)

but... meybe... dang it


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

How about this...

...His computer died


----------



## Franky (May 6, 2008)

that's much better
but still bad, I know how he feels


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

Same here...my computer keeps turning off on it's own  
Glad I got a laptop for a grad gift  

......we must search for the author...


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (May 6, 2008)

lol, was calling me a pervert supposed to offend me? 

i guess he better get a new computer soon, then


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

Jiraiya-sensei needs another class of SEX-ED!!! HE MUST TEACH THEM THE WAYS OF THE BIRDS AND BEES


----------



## Franky (May 6, 2008)

birds... and bees... lol:WOW


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 6, 2008)

my social studies teacher talks about sex an awful lot for some reason.. i don't know why..


----------



## Franky (May 6, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> my social studies teacher talks about sex an awful lot for some reason.. i don't know why..



...HOLY SHIT:WOW


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

Sex addict


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 6, 2008)

Sorry Kuru, but RamenJunkie is my e-bf... sorry.  And clara, maybe your teach is a pervert.....No offench.


----------



## MasterChick (May 6, 2008)

perverted sensei....


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (May 6, 2008)

*sigh* oh well. sex ed better come out soon, though


----------



## southdakotaboy (May 7, 2008)

So if this story has been dropped by the author how do we finish it.

I vote that we all take turns.


----------



## Morphine (May 7, 2008)

let's finish it!


----------



## MasterChick (May 7, 2008)

that's a good idea...but I would like to read the original finished story from the original author...


----------



## zaphood (May 7, 2008)

VampireBlood said:


> let's finish it!



great idea, well not great, but stupid. however, doable.

i'm in the middle of miy final year exams in collage. so I can dedicate plenty of time to this endeavor.

we, collectively, already have multiple perverted ideas just waiting to be converted into moderately win posts.

*puts away photoshop in favor of Bret Easton Ellis, Douglas Adams, and H.S Thompson*  

Next chapter; Henge no jutsu, Hinat's cruel fate!

edit: is the linkage of hentai that the author views as 'relevant to plot' acceptable under the NF ToC?

edit: if the guys public profile can be believed then he's only 16. so its likely exam time for him... hope he gets a well deserved A+ in English.


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 7, 2008)

I wonder if his CP died?


----------



## Kurugari_Shadou (May 7, 2008)

i might write a chapter. ill re-read the last one. but if I do, it might be rated 1 level higher in content


----------



## Morphine (May 8, 2008)

sooo the idea was not mine originaly... lol I just thought if we can really take turns...


----------



## Ninjaguiden (May 8, 2008)

*Oh yeeeeaaah!*

This is really good! Reminds me of fetish...in a very good way!
The humour never seems forced and you keep things from being too predictable.

I wonder where Hinatas at....

Horrors of fanfiction was a really good job too, keep at it!


----------



## MasterChick (May 8, 2008)

How about we just wait...Zaphood may be right...It must me exam time


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 8, 2008)

I'm right here Ninjaguiden. What do you what?


----------



## Ninjaguiden (May 8, 2008)

~~Hinata~~ said:


> I'm right here Ninjaguiden. What do you what?



Aha!

What have you done to Sasuke Jr. you fidgeting freak?! AMBER alert!

S-strong Xandir, strong...*sob*

Note: to clarify I was asking about what Hinata was doing in the story (if someone didn't notice...).


----------



## Corwin (May 8, 2008)

Creator said:


> I like how Naruto thinks. Eyes.



Cheesy and unlike Naruto I thought


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 8, 2008)

so who's writing what here?


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 8, 2008)

Thats what I whould like to know.


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 8, 2008)

IS THIS FF ALIVE TODAY??? where's the next chappy!


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 8, 2008)

Maybe something happened..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I got nothing. Sorry...


----------



## Morphine (May 9, 2008)

so... come again? someone writing or not?


----------



## Ninjaguiden (May 9, 2008)

When was the last update? I sure hope this fic doesn't get left behind like Dichtomy...


----------



## Gaara=] (May 9, 2008)

Ahh, what no updates?? Damn. I was gonna read it on ff.net but they're shutting the site down or something like that??? Gosh, this is annoying. 


*Spoiler*: _?_ 



UPDAATTTEEESSSSS??????​


----------



## Ninjaguiden (May 9, 2008)

Gaara=];15998479 said:
			
		

> Ahh, what no updates?? Damn. I was gonna read it on ff.net but they're shutting the site down or something like that??? Gosh, this is annoying.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: _?_
> ...



shtting FF down?? As in forever??


----------



## MasterChick (May 9, 2008)

Wait...they are shutting down FF.NET!!!!!


----------



## Gaara=] (May 9, 2008)

> Site closed
> As you may have read from our last newspost we decided to close down FantasyFacts. To enable people to copy/save their stories the website will still be available for a few weeks by following this link.
> 
> In the future we might redirect this URL to an other project of ours, most likely more Anime orientated.
> ...



That's what it says. Users can go and retrieve their stories I think.


----------



## Ninjaguiden (May 9, 2008)

Gaara=];15999220 said:
			
		

> That's what it says. Users can go and retrieve their stories I think.



I will not discuss this further in this thread, but it's sad to see it gone...


----------



## Gaara=] (May 9, 2008)

I never went on it anyway, so I'm not mourning it to be honest, just wanted an update. (: 
Or something to read. Mibba's being Gahheeyyyyy.... 

Jeezzz, what does a girl have to do to get an update around here... **hint hint**


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 10, 2008)

Wait, is the story gonna shut down or this site?


----------



## Gaara=] (May 10, 2008)

~~Hinata~~ said:


> Wait, is the story gonna shut down or this site?



The site that InoSakuShine *originally* posted the story on has been shut down, and is open for a couple of days for authors to retrieve their work. The site is ff.net not this site. LOL you have nothing to worry about. (:


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (May 10, 2008)

poor poor horny story.... please don't go away..... i think we should wait and see if the author comes back..... we should continue this story is it isn't ours to contiune.... if you want to create one as a tribute to this story then by all means do..... but other than that..... lets pactiently wait for our beloved and missing writer to over come any complications he/she may have.... and then welcome them back with open and ready arms...

well i guess i said my two cents


----------



## Gaara=] (May 10, 2008)

I agree. 
But what to do in the mean while?? Hmm... AHHH!!
*Dances*


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 10, 2008)

i konw... CHUG CHUG!!! *pulls out keg and funnel* HA!!! And.. and... SMOKEY ROOM!! *pulls out.. 'oregano'* hehe...


----------



## Gaara=] (May 10, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> i konw... CHUG CHUG!!! *pulls out keg and funnel* HA!!! And.. and... SMOKEY ROOM!! *pulls out.. 'oregano'* hehe...



(: And snooker table. I like snooker tables. (:


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 10, 2008)

snooker tables? never heard of it.. unless it's another name for something i know of... never heard of it............... *breaths in smoking white 'cig'* ahh! thats good!


----------



## Gaara=] (May 10, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> snooker tables? never heard of it.. unless it's another name for something i know of... never heard of it............... *breaths in smoking white 'cig'* ahh! thats good!




Like pool tables. LOL 
Cig sounds good. (: (: Why os Gaara not in this story?  Or is he?? Checks.


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 10, 2008)

ahh! pool tables... beware the floating balls! HA!! I SAID BALLS! HAHA!! I SAID IT AGAIN!! hahaha!!! OW!!! MY SPLEEN!


----------



## Gaara=] (May 10, 2008)

You're spleen??
*sings* Spleen, spleen what a wonderful spleen, spleen. *dances*
HAHAHA... Balls ooer how naughty tehe...


----------



## Bachi-san (May 10, 2008)

Yay! You spelled it correctly this time 
I'm... so proud 

 I agree, we should wait for him to come back and continue. And in the meantime, I think we should all stop spamming the poor thread...


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 10, 2008)

i know i spelled it right! whoa.... spelled. HA! spelled. HAH!! i said spe then lled!! HAHAH!!!!!!


----------



## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (May 11, 2008)

awesome


----------



## Morphine (May 11, 2008)

Clara how's your.. spleen? Yes I said spleen!


----------



## Kisara_Momochi (May 11, 2008)

balls....its the part sasuke is lacking.... and thus he found naruto.....


----------



## rock ninja (May 11, 2008)

you know he may just be waiting untill you stop spaming the thread to post the next chapter .or his computer broke. probably that .


----------



## zaphood (May 12, 2008)

omg, still missing in action is he?

thread should be sticky'd anwayz.


----------



## Morphine (May 12, 2008)

oh well no new chapter... gonna wait I think...


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 12, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> i know i spelled it right! whoa.... spelled. HA! spelled. HAH!! i said spe then lled!! HAHAH!!!!!!




YAY!! You spelled it right. By the way, whats so funny?


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 12, 2008)

HAHA!!!!! IDON't KNOW!! HAHA!! I'm sorry what? HA!!!!! OMG!! OMG OMG OMG!! HAHAAA!! I JUST SAW THIS!!! IF YOU LOOK AT SASUKE'S HAIR... IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE A DUCK BUT!!! BUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUCK BUTT HEAD!! HAHAH!!! I SAID BUTT!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!! i need to stop going to five circles a day... HAHA!!!!!!!


----------



## Bachi-san (May 12, 2008)

You just noticed that  wow... 0.o
I agree... this should be stickied  


*Spoiler*: __ 



I would like to take this opportunity to announce a random anoucemenent:
...
I suck @ math.... and will be inevitably going to summer school this july, yay me.  ... I did my best  *sniff*


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 12, 2008)

HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! HAHA!!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh.. wait.. is that bad? *inhales smoke* *cough* ACK!!! DAMN THIS IS GOOD STUFF!!!


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 13, 2008)

So your high? OK.... (backs away slowy) (runs like heck) 


Hey Bachi-san, do you need help on math? I can help.


----------



## zaphood (May 13, 2008)

enuf spam.

spam shall only be permitted in this thread if it is related to moaning about the OP or I find it amusing.


----------



## Morphine (May 14, 2008)

Clara! No talking that way about Sasuke's hair!


----------



## Gaara=] (May 14, 2008)

?DarkLight said:


> Clara! No talking that way about Sasuke's hair!



Excactly. But it does resemble that of a ducks arse... 

As long as it doesn't ruin his sex appeal I'm pleased

Damn when is this gonna be updated??


----------



## Miss Fortune (May 14, 2008)

CHAPPY!!!!!! MAKE IT NOW!!


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 14, 2008)

What clara said! Or I will kick his balls. HAAAHAH!! I SAID BALLS!!!! I NOW KNOW WHAT IS SO FUNNY CLARA!! :rofl:rofl


----------



## MasterChick (May 14, 2008)

No Chapter yet?


----------



## southdakotaboy (May 14, 2008)

Still no update. I am getting very depressed about this. I want an update gosh darn itX3


----------



## kakashi:D (May 14, 2008)

loved it!! we really need update,,,, AHH! update ppllleaasee! X)


----------



## Gaara=] (May 14, 2008)

InoSakuShine hasn't been on since the 26/Apr/08 

DAMMNNNNNNN 

She needs to update. ):


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 14, 2008)

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEXT CHAPPY?!? Don't you think that the exams are done? 
WHERE THE HELL IS THE NEXT DAMN CHAPPY!!?? :umad?


----------



## rock ninja (May 14, 2008)

well... the next capter should be out soon or this month


----------



## zaphood (May 14, 2008)

might be a timeskip, lol.

come back to the plot 9 months later and guess what folks....

We find out that Naruto's shadow clone sperm can. in fact, impregnate a girl. or some such.

hah, Imagen getting 3 or more women pregnant at the same time. shit one.


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 14, 2008)

huh?  3 girls pregant? at the same time? wow..


----------



## zaphood (May 19, 2008)

guess OP aint coming back then.

oh well.


----------



## Hyuuga In Combat Boots (May 20, 2008)

Gaaah! (I know it's already established, but...) This is awesome!
^_^
Ihavenothingelsetosay...
o_o


----------



## Gaara=] (May 21, 2008)

Still no updates? :| 

So sad...


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 22, 2008)

Next chappy please...  Come on! I wanna see if Hinata gets the crap beat out of, and if Sasuke kiss Sakura.


----------



## MasterChick (May 22, 2008)

Me WANT MORE!!!!


----------



## Phoenix-Crimson-Flower17 (May 23, 2008)

YEAH! WE WANT MORE!!! MAKE MORE CHAPPYS!!


----------



## sexy_jutsu_fan (May 26, 2008)

this is awesome i want more chappys now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MasterChick (May 27, 2008)

Still no update?!?!


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## zaphood (May 27, 2008)

tis been weeeeeeks since last update.

Long enough to have OP officially declared dead.


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## Kurugari_Shadou (May 27, 2008)

nothing still?! 

and what was that 3 girls pregnant stuff hinata was talking about...


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## jikoku (Jun 1, 2008)

why doesnt someone else finish it already?????????????
 i would but i suck at writing fan fiction


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## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 1, 2008)

no one else should finish someone elses fanfic..even if the have been missing long enough to be declared dead....damn it has been awhile...holy crap we need an update....


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## MasterChick (Jun 1, 2008)

I hope the Author is okay?!?! 

Maybe...she's busy or gave up...Writers blocK?


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## Kurugari_Shadou (Jun 1, 2008)

How can we be sure the author is a girl, MC?

When was ...her...last NF post?


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## Bachi-san (Jun 1, 2008)

it says she was on today... @ like 9:40 AM or something...


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## MasterChick (Jun 1, 2008)

I think she's a she... I'm not sure!!!  

She was on!!!!  

...Maybe she has a bad case of Writer's block...I get those alot...


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## Kisara_Momochi (Jun 1, 2008)

aw....hopefully she comes ack on soon...me miss my horny story


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## Bachi-san (Jun 1, 2008)

Kisara_Momochi said:


> aw....hopefully she comes ack on soon...me miss my horny story



You and everyone else, my friend... you and all us poor suckers 

honestly, she should at least update us about what will happen... whether she doesn't want to write anymore, or has writer's block, or SOMETHING!


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## Franky (Jun 1, 2008)

Damnit!!! where's my update!


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## dragon kid (Jun 8, 2008)

UPDATE
UPDATE
UPDATE


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## MasterChick (Jun 8, 2008)

Still no update!!!


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## Penkihake (Jun 8, 2008)

*I wanna know what happens next........

*


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## Mikoto Uchiha (Jun 8, 2008)

It's very funny!!!

WHERE THE HELL IS THE UPDATE?!?!?!


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## sexy_jutsu_fan (Jun 8, 2008)

I want my update now don't make me go beserk!!!!!!!


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## Ninjaguiden (Jun 9, 2008)

The update will arrive, The Emperor willing.


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## Lucien Lachance (Jun 11, 2008)

Lolz XD XD


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## Misumi_chan (Jun 11, 2008)

"I knew it! I knew you had the hots for Hinata! She's your cousin!"

lol.


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## Hinata_Uzumaki345 (Jun 13, 2008)

please update!!!!


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## Gaara=] (Jun 20, 2008)

Ahhh... 
Whhyyy no updatesssss?


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## S?phi? (Jun 20, 2008)

Updates?? Come On..


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## Ninjaguiden (Jun 20, 2008)

I'll pm the creator, see if I can get an answer.


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## S?phi? (Jun 20, 2008)

That would be great..


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## Ninjaguiden (Jun 20, 2008)

sophie-surenei said:


> That would be great..



Sent, the last activity was on the 3rd this month, I'll come back if I get an answer.


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## S?phi? (Jun 20, 2008)

Thanks.. && please do..


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## AnimeFreakTard (Jun 20, 2008)

*UPDATE!!!
UPDATE!!!
UPDATE!!!
UPDATE!!!
UPDATE!!!*


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## Mikoto Uchiha (Jun 20, 2008)

SHIT WHERE IS THE UPDATE...

waahhhh our dear sex-ed teacher has left us


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## Mukiru (Jun 20, 2008)

Love it where's the update?


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## MasterChick (Jun 22, 2008)

Nuttin


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## S?phi? (Jun 22, 2008)

Update!?!?!


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## Ninjaguiden (Jun 22, 2008)

sophie-surenei said:


> Update!?!?!



No word yet I'm afraid.


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## S?phi? (Jun 22, 2008)

Noooo!!!.. Damnit.. 
Thanks for the help anywayz..


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## -18 (Jun 22, 2008)

awesome, good story!


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

InoSakuShine said:


> Yes, chapter two is here... Thanks for reviewing!
> ____________________________________________________
> 
> *SexEd
> ...




excelle3nt kkep it up man keep em coming


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

Lemonyscapegoat said:


> Oh yes, you *must* have Lee in this.



yea i agree rock lee owns evr1


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> HA! sasuke and sakura are going to kill each other!! i will laugh. AHHA!!!



yep ur absolutly right amigo


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

southdakotaboy said:


> My oh My this is great! I need more. Now, now everyone Hinata just took the baby to save it from the horror of seeing Ino and Kiba doing... what ever it was they were doing. For some reason I have a mental image of Kiba chained up in his underwear in one of those big spinny hoops things they have at fairs, while Ino stands nearby dressed in a black leather dominatrix outfit holding a riding crop. Or is that just me letting to much info out.





damn i wouldnt mind doing that with ino damn kiba is a lucky dog alll pun intentded but damsn ple conntibnue ur stories dont stop


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

southdakotaboy said:


> YAHX3 more Sex ED. I love a story that keeps me giggling like this one does. Keep up the great work



yea i agree its an excellent chapter each more funny than the last god damn i havent rewad anything this funny in a looooong tiiiiime


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

~~Hinata~~ said:


> Sorry Kuru, but RamenJunkie is my e-bf... sorry.  And clara, maybe your teach is a pervert.....No offench.



hahahahahahhahahahahhaha lololpololoplolololllololololololllol


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

claraofthesand said:


> CELEBRATE KISARA'S BIRTHDAY WITH THE NEW CHAPTER!!



intyrestttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggggggggggggggggg hmmmmmmmmm...........


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

-18 said:


> awesome, good story!



ya keep it up man im seriously waiting for the next ch.


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

-18 said:


> awesome, good story!





yea awesome story


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

Franky said:


> Damnit!!! where's my update!



yea where is our updatesssss


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

sophie-surenei said:


> Noooo!!!.. Damnit..
> Thanks for the help anywayz..



where are the updates amigoooo


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

zaphood said:


> might be a timeskip, lol.
> 
> come back to the plot 9 months later and guess what folks....
> 
> ...



hmmmmmmmmmm...... intresting


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

Ninjaguiden said:


> No word yet I'm afraid.



where is the update mannnnn we need it


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

rock ninja said:


> you know he may just be waiting untill you stop spaming the thread to post the next chapter .or his computer broke. probably that .



yea ur probaly rite


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## tigermoorjani (Jun 22, 2008)

y have u stopped writing my friending


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## Ninjaguiden (Jun 23, 2008)

tigermoorjani....what the in name of the warp are you doing? Don't post so much, let others get between of edit your posts. Or perhaps multi-quote?


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