# Talking about your feelings...."and stuff".



## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Sep 22, 2015)

How good are you guys at doing this? 

Are you a good communicator? Can you have difficult conversations successfully? 

Are you able to truthfully express your emotions to family/friends/coworkers etc? Or do you struggle greatly with managing emotions and opening up when needed? 

Is there a difference online vs. offline? 

If the answer to some of these question is "I basically suck at this"- tell me if you've figured out why.


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## Nep Nep (Sep 22, 2015)

I can do it well but... the thing is sometimes I can't even determine what I'm feeling, often my mix of emotions is complex and I don't know or don't want to explain it. 

Sometimes I feel like there's just too much stuff, I'm feeling too many things at once to the point where I become numb and my brain just wants to shut down and chill out so when I try to find the answers I can't.


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## Atlas (Sep 22, 2015)

I keep it all inside.


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## Yak (Sep 23, 2015)

In principle, I am very good at this. But I don't open up easily. I am an introvert. And I take my good time to judge a whether a person is worthy to be considered a real friend and worth my time and loyalty. I only really talk about my true feelings with close friends I can trust and family.


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## Stunna (Sep 23, 2015)

I have no problem with talking about problems; it's a matter of finding someone to talk to about them lol


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## Mider T (Sep 23, 2015)

Nah, not really.


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## Deleted member 161031 (Sep 23, 2015)

I'm not good. I find it very hard talking of myself.


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## Sabi (Sep 23, 2015)

As a teen yes, but now the world has gotten too cold my mouth's frozen.


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## aiyanah (Sep 23, 2015)

yes and no?
i need to know that what i say isn't to be used against me later i guess, which isn't all that easy with family and friends, definitely easier online tho


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## FLORIDA MAN (Sep 23, 2015)

I'm pretty bad at it
My thought process is like 
Well
Imagine it's a railroad station 
With like 3-4 trains coming and going at once
I can only really be on board with one of them
I'm a horrible speaker, for that reason.


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## aiyanah (Sep 23, 2015)

i wanna say you're lying, am i allowed to?
bold faced lie waddles


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## Yak (Sep 23, 2015)

MeatWAD said:


> I'm pretty bad at it
> My thought process is like
> Well
> Imagine it's a railroad station
> ...



Sometimes mine is a bit like that, too


Only that all of the trains arrive at the same time at the same platform





And they have no brakes


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## Atlantic Storm (Sep 23, 2015)

I'm good at lending an ear to other people's problems, both from an empathetic and psychological stand point. I'm less good at articulating my own feelings.


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## ~M~ (Sep 23, 2015)

I talk to a therapist weekly and hope to be a councilor or teacher 

So I'm open


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Sep 23, 2015)

i was gonna come here and answer my own questions. 

but i'm too busy cringing. i'll come back later. maybe. probably not. never. 




MeatWAD said:


> I'm pretty bad at it
> My thought process is like
> Well
> Imagine it's a railroad station
> ...



i believe this.


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## ~M~ (Sep 23, 2015)

The three trains at once analogy probably applies to everyone. 

Though some of us get on the less important track than we should, compared to others.


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## Parallax (Sep 23, 2015)

I'm quite capable but I'm selective


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## Cord (Sep 23, 2015)

Let's see, I don't really find it difficult to talk about my feelings to others/opening up/venting, but if I want to keep things to myself, I most certainly can.

There's not much difference in expressing myself online and offline, but nowadays, I find it easier to do so offline. I'll just mention that I'm more comfortable talking about my feelings to my friends than to my parents. : p


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## Nep Nep (Sep 23, 2015)

MeatWAD said:


> I'm pretty bad at it
> My thought process is like
> Well
> Imagine it's a railroad station
> ...



Heh I think everyone has felt like that at one time or another. 

There are so many little facets in one subject alone that we want to tackle, one never knows where to begin.


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## Deleted member 235437 (Sep 23, 2015)

I'm pretty terrible at talking about my feelings and opening up to people. I internalize pretty much everything, but continue to maintain a "happy" facade with my friends or the outside world in general. I used to think it was because I didn't feel comfortable enough with people, but I feel extremely comfortable with my friends and yet they don't know about the battles I have with myself pretty much every day. I'm an extremely emotional person so if I'm in my feelings, then I'll just cry until i feel better for the time being, and then repeat the process whenever I'm back in my feelings. 

I don't like burdening people with my problems and I also don't feel as though they'd understand. so I pretty much just keep quiet and act as though everything is fine when I could've just been crying my eyes out 10 minutes ago. However, there is one person I can open up to and always pretty much do. Took some time because I felt like I was bothering them or burdening them but they taught me real quick that I should never think that so I always pretty much go to him whenever I need to vent or just someone to cry to.


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## Moritsune (Sep 23, 2015)

I can listen to other people's emotional problems and be helpful, but I'm not good at expressing myself emotionally. I'm more likely to share a feeling or emotion online where I don't have to worry about people who actually know me getting involved, but I don't like telling someone something and feeling like I'm inconveniencing them. I also don't like to be vulnerable, and expressing emotion tends to require vulnerability. Tons of people have compared me to a robot IRL, and accused me of having no emotion, I'm just good at not showing them I suppose.


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## heartsutra (Sep 24, 2015)

Overall I'm okay with offline communication. I don't find it hard to open up to other people and try to be forthcoming more often than not. The question is, do they want to open up to me? 

I approach everything case by case but as a rule of thumb, I don't willfully treat people I talk to online any different than people I talk to offline. To me, the status of people I communicate with online is similar to that of my parents, relatives or childhood friends and former classmates who live far away but I still stay in touch with. At the end of the day, people are still people, methinks.

I suck at talking over the phone to strangers though, most of the time. Prefer it face-to-face if I have to talk to people.


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## Deleted member 73050 (Sep 24, 2015)

I'm pretty good at talking bout my feelings and saying how shitty I feel at times. I'm also a good listener and try my best to provide good advice. My only downside is that I poke my nose at other people's problems and ask them to tell me bout their troubles, especially when they don't want to. I care too much I guess.


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## Swarmy (Sep 24, 2015)

Friends, family, teachers and random strangers all say I need to express my bad emotions more  I say the more you hang to bad emotions the worse it gets


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## baconbits (Sep 24, 2015)

I'm good at communicating both ways.  I think online you get the ability to think about every word.  In real life you don't get to edit what you're about to say before you post it.

I do a lot of public speaking tho, so speaking in front of people is not an issue for me.  But I can imagine that many people drawn to an online community might not be as excited to get on a stage and talk as I am.


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## lacey (Sep 24, 2015)

I'm actually more open online than I am in real life.

And I'm pretty closed off from my family in particular. I actually get pissed if I end up opening up for whatever reason, either to them, or to someone I don't particularly care for. No matter how small the matter is. There's a twisted sense of pride, I feel, in being able to keep people in the dark about my feelings. I regret and stew still about things I said years ago. 

Not sure why it's easier, and not even an issue actually, for me to open up online. Could be the anonymity factor, could just be because people in general seem more open, therefore I'm more open.


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## Atlas (Sep 24, 2015)

heartsutra said:


> Overall I'm okay with offline communication. I don't find it hard to open up to other people and try to be forthcoming more often than not. The question is, do they want to open up to me?
> 
> I approach everything case by case but as a rule of thumb, I don't willfully treat people I talk to online any different than people I talk to offline. To me, the status of people I communicate with online are similar to that of my parents, relatives or childhood friends and former classmates who live far away but I still stay in touch with. At the end of the day, people are still people, methinks.
> 
> I suck at talking over the phone to strangers though, most of the time. Prefer it face-to-face if I have to talk to people.



Yeah, I absolutely HATE talking on the phone. I get a rush of anxiety when someone calls me or I have to call someone else. 



Vino said:


> I'm pretty good at talking bout my feelings and saying how shitty I feel at times. I'm also a good listener and try my best to provide good advice. My only downside is that I poke my nose at other people's problems and ask them to tell me bout their troubles, especially when they don't want to. I care too much I guess.



Be my friend irl


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## lacey (Sep 24, 2015)

Same here in regards to phone conversations. Texting isn't an issue. But actual verbal phone communication gives me way too much anxiety.


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## Karasu (Sep 24, 2015)

IDK, not really good at communicating I guess. 

Thought I was, but maybe not so much. 

Feel safer online because I can really take the time to process my thoughts. But that doesn't preclude the fact that I don't miss a beat IRL when talking.


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## Nep Nep (Sep 24, 2015)

Heh I just get annoyed when I have to talk with people on the phone. I wanna do other shit and I can't focus on a phone conversation and other things.


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## Vix (Sep 27, 2015)

Hmm, I don't think I'm any different here than I am irl. I talk a LOT. I love to talk and I'm always talking or texting. I have absolutely no filter and I get pretty comfortable with telling people my feelings. People perceive me in whatever way, but the truth is, I'm just really open and friendly when it comes to talking about my feelings. I'm very straight forward and I tend to speak my mind a lot. I listen a lot to friends and their relationship/family issues and advise them on what they can do or sometimes I'm just there to listen. Sometimes I prefer not to advise them on anything either just because I feel like I know what kind of position they're in and they probably just need someone to vent to and not a lecture or advice. I also vent a lot, which if probably one of my biggest flaws in life. But I've learned that if you keep everything in, it slowly destroys you little by little inside and you really become a negative energy, not only to yourself, but to others around you. I've also learned that some things shouldn't be said either, and should just be kept to yourself--just in case you may regret it lmao. The only time I don't talk about my feelings is at work. I don't care to listen to anyone's problems or issues, and I keep to myself because I simply don't GAF about anyone there lmfao. And if someone does tell me shit, I just not and carry on with my work. I'm not one to get cliquey or talk shit about another coworker, so having work conflicts is the last thing that I want. I'm pretty introvert at work because I don't want anyone there to know my business and I'm not there to make any friends with anyone there. I strictly keep it professional and that's that.


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## Mikaveli (Sep 27, 2015)

I was terrible at it because I wasn't raised in a household that really did that.

It wasn't a problem until recently. If you don't talk, its easy to internalize a bunch of terrible shit. Learn how and thank yourself later. Find someone you're comfortable with and let loose. Or get a therapist. Keep a journal. You need to express yourself some type of way tho


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## ЯƎWO⅃ᖷ (Sep 27, 2015)

Ok here's a real answer: I'm a great talker- but I am selective in what I say. I won't discuss any real issues with people who haven't earned my trust {takes a long time to do}- and even then, I'll only bring something up if the other person can relate/provide valuable advice/ or emotional support.

Other than that- my philosophy is - my problems and feelings are for day ones only 

Oh and I'm shit with difficult conversations. If I can't joke around something or rely on anger to see me through- I walk away/leave/quit. I feel like the first person to get emotional in any given situation is the person who has lost. 

I hate being that person >.<

Edit: forgot to mention- in certain cases even if a conversation would be relatively easy to have- I won't have it because I resent being forced to go through something so distasteful. For instance recently I had plans to go to lunch with someone- and they didn't bring it up on that day- my friend asked why I wasn't going and my response was "it would be tacky to ask" (since the other person was supposed to pay). Nobody could understand my view lol - I think it's really just cultural though


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## A Optimistic (Sep 27, 2015)

no im not a girl


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## kire (Sep 30, 2015)

Moritsune said:


> *I can listen to other people's emotional problems and be helpful, but I'm not good at expressing myself emotionally. I'm more likely to share a feeling or emotion online where I don't have to worry about people who actually know me getting involved, but I don't like telling someone something and feeling like I'm inconveniencing them. I also don't like to be vulnerable, and expressing emotion tends to require vulnerability.* Tons of people have compared me to a robot IRL, and accused me of having no emotion, I'm just good at not showing them I suppose.




Same here.  I don't mind hearing other people's issues, and trying to help if they want, but when it comes to me..I feel awkward.  I hate to bother people and with the emotional crap I have to deal with, I am sure most people do not want to hear it.  The only exception is if the person is nice, I know them and they truly care, then I may talk.  It is so much easier online.  

I don't even like telling my feelings to my parents.  I feel like it would only worry them more.  I also have this thing..I do NOT like crying.  It makes me feel weak, and for others to see me like that..well thats just unbearable.  Bottom line for me is that there is nothing anyone can do about it so why say anything.  I'll just shut it in and wait to blow up in a slow controled manner.



Serena said:


> Same here in regards to phone conversations. Texting isn't an issue. But actual verbal phone communication gives me way too much anxiety.


I don't mind the phone, but sometimes, I just don't have mush to say.


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## mechaBD (Sep 30, 2015)

Up until very recently I have always been real open with my feelings and how I am doing. I can talk to anyone really and I am a good listener too. After a recent break up and getting stabbed in the back for the last time I am really trying to hold in more.

My biggest problem is I easily trust people and it always comes back to get me.


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## Catamount (Oct 1, 2015)

ᖷ⅃OWƎЯ said:


> How good are you guys at doing this?
> 
> Are you a good communicator? Can you have difficult conversations successfully?
> 
> ...


I can express exactly what I feel via words, but somehow online it may even go better, since offline people always seem to hurry somewhere and don't really listen to each other.

I'd rather say that I can express my emotions, but I don't really want to. Some things better stay hidden.


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## Houka02 (Oct 11, 2015)

This si a tricky question for me. At one end, I'm good at identifying emotions and pretty good at how people work and can be a good consular. On the other hand, I'm pretty closed as for my own emotions and only really open up to those I feel I can trust. Then why should I, most people don't really care what you think but themselves. I help them out but that really just a means to get over there issues while it's nice it does end in being forgotten.

In the end I have no need to share anything and just do what I'm good at.


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## Itachі (Oct 11, 2015)

I'm a good communicator but I dislike talking about my feelings. People online know way more about my feelings than people I know in real life tbh.


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## Worm Juice (Oct 11, 2015)

I guess I'm the kinda person that wears their heart on their sleeve so pretty open (too much). Probably a bit overwhelming for some peoples. 

I've also got the feeling I'm quit expressive with my face so it's easy to see my mood from how I'm looking etc.  And I guess I'm as open online as offline.


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## Swift (Oct 16, 2015)

I'm a great communicator, I love conversation in general. I'm mostly an open book and I don't mind opening up / telling people how I feel unless I'm frustrated or upset. I tend to sit on those emotions for a while and figure out a meaningful way to express those things; sometimes it doesn't go as well as I like or I feel that it isn't worth it to bother people. I feel like I struggle with frustration and being let down the most. 

I can express myself about the same on and offline, maybe a bit better offline due to tone. I'm genuinely interested in giving advice... sometimes I seek that out too much being a people person.


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