# Gintama Main thread



## Vergil (Mar 4, 2016)

It's been 20 years since the Amanto war and the land of samurai is barely recognizable. With the invasion came new technology and a new way of life mashed into the samurai era; flying cars and skyscrapers mixed with the old culture of feudal Japan. Swords, the only way for the samurai to fight back, have been banned for all, except those that work for the alien Amanto. The government works for the aliens and the samurai have no choice but to work for them, enforcing the law, under the shogunate.

Our story begins in Edo, the bustling capital of Japan and home to a very varied mix of people adapting to life under Amanto rule and trying to make a living.

To the Mods in this section:

[YOUTUBE]avLJIZLt9bk[/YOUTUBE]


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## InfIchi (Mar 4, 2016)

It was morning, a glorious and peaceful morning at that in the midst of Edo! But lo? Low? Low and behold.. Lo and behold?? Low and? uh.. BEHOLD! Bare Witness? -paper shuffling- Uh? Hold On? There?s a... uh.. Script error? The hell? I?m just? What the hell is a? Did the printer not? Oh come on! The printer hit a script error!? My paper!? I worked so hard on it! How did? The? COME ON! 

--- Excuse Us, There appears to be some Technical difficulties? --- 

?Oi? What?s goin on??  Oh! Shouzu! Its uh, There?s a minor problem with the printer? I?m fixing it now! -clanging noises- ?You sure this is? going to work?? Yeah! Yeah! Don?t worry just uh? Let me fix this? And? -Mariachi Music Plays- ?Is that the radio?? Yeah! Don?t? Just? ignore that! Alright? Don?t? Don?t? just, i?ve got this! -sound of rushing water- ?Ah? Did the sink break? Where the hell are you!?? I got? I had to move offices!! ?What the hell kind of office is this!?? It?s?. Its my moms basement ok!

?Hey, is the camera still supposed to be rolling?? WHAT!? IT?s rolling!? Tell them to cut!!! CUT!! WE CAN?T!!! I haven?t got the narration down! ?Want me to stall them?? Yes!! STALL THEM PLEASE!!

?Hello!? -Shouzu waves politely at you all!- ?I?m uh? Shouzu, Nice to meet you.? -He looks away, scratching the back of his head- ?This ninja mask is itchy?? -He mumbles under his breath, trying to get the itch to stop- ?Anyways? I guess the narrator is in trouble or something.? -He looks around Edo, no one appears to be moving- ?So uh?.? -The ninjas eyes lock onto a rather Buxom Beauty of a Bombshell.- ?So?.? -He stare remains fixed on her, scanning her body up and down? mind trying to figure out her measurements.- ?They? they have to be D?s right?? -His eye shifts gently back to the camera.- ?AH! Sorry Uh?. Yeah? You guys? Hrn? Hmm?.? -The ninjas finger slips up his mask and explores his nasal cavity, plucking lose a pesky pest of a booger.- ?I don?t know man.? -He sighs, dropping down into a sitting position, legs folded in front of him.-

?You guys like Card tricks?? I DID IT! ?Ah? Did you?? Yeah! I found it! The printer is working again! I got the document re-printed, We got this! ?Yeah but? The post is over man.? WHAT!? No? I didn?t miss the whole post! ?Yeah you did.? SON OF A FUC-


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## Vergil (Mar 5, 2016)

As the writers of the first post flounder with the papers, leaving homeless dumbass to be the first damn character to be featured in this roleplay, Yamato walks by in the background as Shouzu picks his nose as they finally get their shit together and begin. The dark haired young man reaches into his bag and pulls out a resume, handing it to various business owners, but getting the distinct impression that they weren't hiring.

"Ugh - the economy sucks!" he groans looking around at the failing businesses. He watches a a few pig type Amanto leave a restaurant, laughing. It was a scene that had been repeated many times and so Yamato was familiar with it; Amanto go in to a place, bully the staff, complain that they got shitty service, get their goods for free. Yamato sighs and keeps walking, seeing the relieved faces of the staff inside through the window. "Damn Amanto." he grumbles.

He continues his job hunt, when he sees a strange flier posted on an electrical pole.

_*Wanted: team mates for exciting opportunity. Pays well. No experience necessary. Looking for at least one girl with a huge rack and one girl/guy to play a straight man.*_

There was an address listed and with any luck he would fit the role of the latter, because as impressive as his pecs were (they weren't) he probably wasn't going to get the role of Tits Mcgee. He ambles over to the destination and see a man lying on the ground, in a red leather coat and black leather pants with some sort of branch next to him. Perhaps ordinary people would rus to his side, screaming "Oh my god what's wrong??!" but Yamato had seen too much of this place and he merely looks down at the figure.

"You dead?" he says with disdain. On closer inspection he was surrounded by fliers and was drenched in sweat. Yamato looks to the blue sky. It was about 100 degrees and here's this idiot with a leather jacket.

"Heh....no way....dying like this - it's not cool enough." he rasps out.

"Cool, is exactly the opposite of this situation. You're likely going to die because of over heating. Why don't you drink some water and take that jacket off, so...."

"NEVER!" the white haired man jumps up enthusiastically, points at Yamato dramatically and then falls back down onto the ground. "Looking cool is more important than life!"

"You're an idiot aren't you? Like an actual idiot. I can sense the waves of retardation threatening to pull me and all of Edo in to a bleak, black hole of stupidity - crushing all forms of intelligence until there is nothing but the vacuous space between your ears, where your brain should be. Take off the coat." Yamato says getting irritated at the fact that this situation would be resolved if he just cooled down by taking off the coat.


"This coat....is a family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation, the blood of my ancestors colouring this coat red, as we fought for things like freedom and justice and pocky."

"Oh god....oh my god...there is so much wrong with that sentence...I....shit...I'm just going to remove the jacket from you so you don't die." Yamato goes to the defenceless man and tried to pull at the material. He tries a few more times and then stops, looks down at the man and kneels beside him. 

"The jacket has melted into your skin. You are now one with your ancestors. You idiot." Yamato says.

The red leather skinned man sits up wearily and looks at Yamato, drenched in sweat and panting heavily. "So what you're saying....is that I'm naked right now. I need to get a jacket..."

"No...no you don't need a....where are you going?" Yamato rubs his forehead

"I'm not cool without a leather jacket. I have to be....cool, because....I'm Dante." he says looking at the camera and giving a thumbs up.

"What kind of an introduction was that?! You think any of the readers in the roleplay are going to be emotionally invested in a dumbass character like this?! Jesus H Christ, you're actually in a leather coat store."

Dante was wearily trying on clothes. "Hm...what do you think? Blue? Should I look like my evil twin brother."

"You don't have an evil twin brother." Yamato shakes his head.

"YOU don't have an evil twin brother." Dante retorts.

"Clever. Ok, whatever. You go dehydrate and die. I'm looking for a guy who made this flier....oh crap...those fliers on the ground earlier. Don't tell me..." Yamato says, irritated that he didn't put two and two together. Dante's stupidity was infectious.

"Yep. That's me. And you're hired!" Dante says with another thumbs up before again collapsing on the ground.


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## Vergil (Mar 5, 2016)

Heza Rey Rey

It was 6am when Heza snapped her eyes open to get ready for another day serving under his hero Heather Reynolds. He would ensure her every need was taken care of and go above and beyond, as  he was always taught to do. Anticipate everything! Heza's flips open her make up mirror and looks at herself in disgust. Heather Reynolds would never be seen like this. With lightnin speed, he reaches into his purse and applies the ruby red lipstick, pursing his lips and giving herself a wink. 

"It's time to go to work." he says as he heads out of his modest shack and into the summer's day in the Kabuki district. Walking as briskly as he could in his form fitting kimono and high heels he passes by the homeless ninja that has been a thorn in the side of Heather's businesses for some time. He approaches the repugnant man.

"H-hey I've told you before, I don't m-mind you being homeless b-but do it somewhere that is-isn't the property of Miss Heather." He pulls out the baseball bat from his kimono and taps it on the ground. He looks at his face a little closer, thinking he recognised him from someplace, but reels back from the stench. He quickly pulls out his wallet.

"$200 take a bath. $200 worth of bath." he says feeling dizzy, but shaking it off.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 6, 2016)

The large redhead awakes, pulling the dark haired woman in bed with her close and curling around her body.  She yawns gently, laying there for a while before standing to her feet, and wandering off to take a shower.  Washing doesn't take long, but when she gets out she is forced into an outfit she doesn't particularly like just to fit in.  A black one sleeve short kimono, allowing her movement that she needs, but with it she wears long pants to keep her sense of masculinity, a red obi keeps it tied on right.


 From there she goes to leave the residence to make sure Heather's buildings were intact and none were loitering.  “Heading out.  Left Koen here.” is all that she says as she heads out the door.


 She checks each of the buildings that Heather owns, finding nothing or having to toss out the odd homeless or drunkard.  Except for the second to last one.  Inka was supposed to talk to Heza about the working girls' conditions at the last building...however Inka spies a puddle.  It wouldn't have been so strange if it hadn't rained for days.  She shrugged it off as a puddle of piss after the initial surprise.  After checking the inside of the building, the flaming woman exits, the puddle wiggles and stretches, expanding into a womanly shape causing Inka's face to flush.


*Spoiler*: __ 




​




“Get your ass away from here, it's not open yeeeeee-...” her filed teeth showing in amazement and disgust as the slime stretches out her feelers towards her.  In a confused shock Inka was grabbed by the feelers, and pulled close to the slime...no not close, into the slime.  It was cool and wet, reminiscent of a lake.  The redhead's pulse spikes, causing her to freak out, she struggles against the slime, holding her breath.  She snaps, her hands are wet and it isn't possible for the flames to be created.


 She grabs at the blue creature, however her consistency doesn't allow her to get a hold.  She would have shouted for help for the first time in her life had she not been drowning.  She grabs for a hug, pulling through the slime just enough to get her head out.


 With panting breaths she glares at the slime.  “What the fuck was that, what the fuck are you?” she shakes her head, the feelers reaching for her again.  Her eyes widen, pinpointing as she spins on her heel, taking off down the street and away from the slime that continued to follow.


“Why the goddamn shitting fuckcock is it following me?”


 As she runs, she hears a gurgling bubble like noise trying to speak.  She skids around a corner, shoving past Heza, slime in tow three steps behind.  “WHAT THE FUUUUCK?” she whines loudly, speeding up significantly.  Within seconds of speeding up the feelers take grip on her legs, pulling her to the ground and nuzzling the woman's buttocks.


“Ass.”


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## InfIchi (Mar 6, 2016)

Today! Shouzu managed to actually get out of his bed -Read, Newspapers between two dumpers in a back alley- "Today is the day, I become... RICH BEYOND MY WILDEST DRE-" SMACK! Before he could finish his sentence a flyer smacked him directly in the face... Like just PLAP! Right in the face. 

"Ugh the hell is this?" He pulled the paper away, revealing a flyer for Shinobi Fornication Jubilee. "Oh the hell is this?" He looked down at the paper, it was... "Seeking a ninja to join me in my awesome new techno rock band? Requirements, Must be a ninja... Must know how to play music." Shouzu blinked a bit, "I can do one of those things!"

That's right! He could do one of those things! And joining a band was quite the big step.

Upsides- 


Famous
Girls
Sex
Money
All The Above.

Downsides? 

"Shut up narrator! No one gives a shit about the downsides! this is going to get me SO much money!" Shouzu grinned like a giant massive stupid faced douche... "Oi... Shut up." He groaned, like a little baby child that he was. "DON'T BE JEALOUS OF MY AWESOMENESS!" He shouted, ironically. "No... Fuck you! You bald virgin bastard!" I'm not a virgin! "You so are! So go away!" Fine! You can do this on your own then! Fuck you!

"I will!" I said, thinking that this is quite the nice change. Finally Shouzu is in charge of his own words his own actions. "Well then" I headed off towards the location, going to meet my new band member! Thoughts filled my head, what kind of person would they be? Would it matter? Fuck no! I'm going to get laid!

You suck at this, "Fuck you i'm doing awesome!" I won that argument, the other narrator ran off like a little pansy, crying like a baby to his mother. 

N...No I didn't! -He did.- NOT YOU TO!?

"Well then BACK to my awesome story!"


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