# MartialHorror's horror movies that you should check out or avoid



## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2008)

Basically, I'm going to post horror flicks and short reviews(as well as links to my longer reviews).

If you have any requests on movies I should review, post them or PM them.
I'll post two,three, or four at a time.

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Black Sunday: The Mask of Satan*- Mario Bava's debut is incredibly creepy and atmospheric. The fact it was made in 1960 works for it, and against it. If you are into horror films, CHECK THIS OUT. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

3.5/4 stars

*Cloverfield*- The hand held camera thing has never been a favorite of mine. However, that doesn't change the fact that Cloverfield is a surprisingly well-written and intense film. However, it wont work for everyone. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

3/4  

*I am Legend*- This is another Will Smith movie. Like the others, it had alot of potential and is very entertaining. However, it is mostly ruined by the crappy CGI. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

2.5/4

MOVIES I WOULDN'T REALLY RECCOMEND

*The Omega Man*- "I am Legend" was somewhat of a remake of this, which was a remake of a Vincent Price movie, which was based on a novel. Charlton Heston carries the film admirably, but its so corny and outdated that I dont think todays audiences will appreciated it. [Zero-Raws] Macross FRONTIER 14 (DivX Q3 960x540).avi

2/4 stars


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## Chee (Jul 10, 2008)

Haha, I totally agree with Omega Man. Even when I consider the time it was made in, its still dreadful.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2008)

MOVIES TO WATCH

*House of Clocks*: Lucio Fulci makes a surprisingly intelligent film with an awesome twist. The cinematography is strong, but the film kind of looks cheap and the editing sucks. Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

3/4

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECCOMEND

*Godzilla: Final Wars*- The final(?) entry in the Godzilla franchise is somewhat of an insult. The monster scenes are kind of cool, but the idiotic human plot ruins it. It's not a total waste of time, but I didn't like it. Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

2/4 stars


MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND
*
The Happening*: M. Night Shyamalan doesn't make a great film, but its still very entertaining. Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

2.5/4

MOVIES TO AVOID

*Lake Placid 2*: It tries to be quirky, but just comes across as stupid. The croc looks painfully CGI. Ronaldo agreeing that he is a slave.

1.5/4


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## Koi (Jul 12, 2008)

Unfortunately I've seen very few of these.   28 Days Later is my favorite horror flick, I think.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2008)

Yūhi Kurenai said:


> Unfortunately I've seen very few of these.   28 Days Later is my favorite horror flick, I think.



lol, then you should be sort of grateful that you havent been thrown into the wonderful world of bad italian zombie films...yes, 28 days later is a good one.


MOVIES TO AVOID

*Zombie 4: After Death*- It's simply bad, and eventually becomes entertaining for all the wrong reasons. 

1.5/4

MOVIES TO WATCH

[B]Wrong Turn 2: Dead End[/B]- This direct-to-DVD sequel lacks the punch of the first one. However, it has more of a plot, lots of gore, well-written characters and some nice humor as well. Good for genre fans.
[link]

3/4

[B]Diary of the Dead[/B]: Romero's latest zombie film has the hand held camera style that made "Blair Witch" and "Cloverfield" so popular. While the crappy characters and corny dialogue make this the weakest in Romero's dead films, its still a pretty intense and funny ride.
[link]

3/4

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND

[B]Carnosaur[/B]: This Jurassic Park cash-in is incredibly gory and incredibly cheezy. If you can look past the bad special effects, then you will appreciate it for its solid humor, ambiance and style. Its a post apocalyptic dinosaur movie, which appeals to be greatly. [link]

2.5/4


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## Spencer_Gator (Jul 13, 2008)

havent seen many of these hmmm


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## CalRahhh (Jul 14, 2008)

Out of all the ones you listed, the only ones I want to see that I haven't are Diary of The Dead, Wrong Turn 2, and Suspiria.


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 14, 2008)

Final Wars had Done Frye in it. That's enough reason to watch the movie. I can no longer support this thread.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 15, 2008)

lol, at least I only gave it a 2/4 stars,  which isn't all bad.

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECOMMEND

*Baron Blood*- Two stupid teens speak forbidden incantations and accidently unleash an undead, murderous baron on the world. Possibly inspired all those 80's demon flicks("Night of the Demons" and "Spookies" come to mind), but this one personally bored me. Mario Bava does do pretty good with the atmosphere, but the annoying characters and dull script bring him down. Link removed 

2/4

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECOMMEND

*Four Flies on Grey Velvet*- A band member accidently murders someone, and was seen and photographed by a serial killer. While this is a cool inverse on Dario Argento's usual plots(which are usually: someone witnesses a murder and tries to solve the case before the murderer gets them), the rest of the script is painfully dull. Luckily, DARIO ARGENTO TO THE RESCUE. The man goes all out on style and even brings out some suspence. He makes the best of it. Link removed

2.5/4 

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Day of the Dead(1985)* - A bunch of scientists and army dudes cope with living underground as zombies loom on the outside. Romero's least popular of his old trilogy is actually pretty good. It's more moody and character driven, while being sort of slow and has some annoying characters. The bits with bub the zombie are classic. A pretty good zombie flick, but nowhere near its predecessor, "Dawn of Dead". Link removed

3/4

*Gates of Hell*- Also known as "City of the Living Dead", various people try to find one of the 7 gates of hell before it opens and the dead walk the earth. Lucio Fulci manages to create a creepy, moody, atmospheric, gory, epic film that is quite haunting. It's my personal favorite of his. Don't expect it to make sense, however. Avoid the "in name" sequel. Link removed

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 15, 2008)

But it had Don Frye in it. Maybe you don't understand the magnitude of the mustache he sports. It easily puts any movie he is in to a 5/4 rating.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2008)

MOVIES I WOULDN'T REALLY RECCOMEND

*Frankenstein meets the Space Monster*- Aliens start stealing earth women for breeding purposes, but they must fight an android. This movie is so bad, you stop judging it as a movie and just have a fun time laughing at it. Fun stuff.  [HorribleRaws]​_Slayers​_Revolution​_-​_3​_(480x270).​wmv

2/4 

*Five Dolls for an August Moon*- This Mario Bava murder mystery simply was bland and forgettable. Not bad, but Mediocre in every sense of the word. A bunch of people are trapped on a remote island with a murderer. [HorribleRaws]​_Slayers​_Revolution​_-​_3​_(480x270).​wmv

2/4

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Bride of Frankenstein*- The Monster and a mysterious doctor try to convince Frankenstein to make another monster. This classic mainly works as a drama, not so much a horror. Despite this there are a few chilling scenes, and many touching scenes. It's a tragedy, and it effected me. Sort of outdated, however. [HorribleRaws]​_Slayers​_Revolution​_-​_3​_(480x270).​wmv

3/4


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## crazymtf (Jul 17, 2008)

^ I Agree with AVP2. The script, acting, and the bad fighting made me cry as a huge alien/pred fan


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## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2008)

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Zodiac(2007) *- The POV's of the detectives and reporters as the Zodiac killer strikes. Well-done movie simply suffers from being overlong, although it goes by quickly.
Link removed

3/4

MOVIES I WOULDNT REALLY RECCOMEND

*Nightbreed(1990) *- A guy gets killed by a serial killer, turns into some demon thing, and seeks revenge. Clive Barker is a very imaginative director(he did Hellraiser), and the beauty and style are the only good things found here. The dialogue and acting are awful.
Link removed

2/4

*Howling 5: The Rebirth(1989)*- A group of people are stalked by a werewolf in a Castle. Awesome setting, pounding score, well-written characters and decent buildup are all present, so what went wrong? Well, you never get much of a look at the werewolf and the kills are all bland. I hear this is one of the better sequels, which is pretty sad...Link removed

2/4

MOVIES YOU MUST AVOID

*Gates of Hell II: Dead Awakening(1988)*- Some dudes resurrect some demon to kill some guardian chick...This in-name sequel to Fulci's cult classic is one of the worst things ever made. The makeup effects might be okay, but you can't see them. It's too dark! The director tries to go for some campy noir crap, and it all fails. The script is also crap, but I can forgive that. When you can't see anything that's going on, it simply becomes unforgivable. There isn't even any gore....why do a Fulci homage/sequel if there isn't any gore!? Link removed

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 21, 2008)

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Two Evil Eyes(1990)*- Goerge Romero and Dario Argento direct two stories based on Edgar Allen Poe. Romero's film involves a married woman and her lover attempting to inherhit everything from her dying, bitter husband. It's chilling, freaky, and has a spectacular ending. It deserves a 3.5/4. Argento's flick about Harvey Keitel going insane after killing a black cat is full of style and suspence, but lacks the heart of the last flick. It deserves a 3/4. Here are lyrics

3/4

*Them(2007) *-This French film about a couple being harassed in their own house is simply a terrifying experience. In 2008, a similar film came out called "The Strangers". Here are lyrics

4/4

MOVIES I WOULD KIND OF RECCOMEND

*Trauma(1993) *- Argento directs a flick about an unhealthy couple tracking down a serial killer. It has some style, some effective drama, some decent kills and some suspence, but its slow-paced and cheezy. Here are lyrics

2.5/4

*Tenebre(1982)*- Another Argento flick, about a writer trying to catch a killer who seems to be a big fan of the writers book. Awesome twists, some suspence and style, marred with a tacky score, stupid characters and a slow pace. Here are lyrics

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2008)

MOVIES TO WATCH

*Sweeny Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street(2007)*- A musical about a barber who desires revenge on the judge who wrongfully put him away. Tim Burton delivers in terms of suspense and gothic atmosphere, and Johnny Depp owns as Todd. It's the musical aspect I'm not too sure about.. did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?

*The Strangers(2008) *- A couple is attacked in their own home. The director definately makes a very creepy film(reminded me of the original "Halloween"). Unfortunately, the script is still full of cliches and dumb logic that it cant go down as a classic. did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?

3/4

MOVIES I WOULDN"T REALLY RECCOMEND

*The Stendhal Syndrome(1995)* -This flick about a rapist/murderer stalking the cop who is tracking him down may have alot of style(as expected by Dario Argento), but it is also boring. did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?

2/4

*Spookes(1987)*- a bunch of teens are hunted down by spirits in an old mansion. Three unfinished movies were spliced into one, so everything seems all over the place. The acting is bad, the script is bad and the movie is bad.....just its just so fun! did RE5 get accidentally confirm for the Wii?.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 28, 2008)

*Rear Window(1954) *- A crippled man who has become adept at spying on the neighbors from his apartment may have witnessed a murder. It's a different kind of suspense, but effective nonetheless. Roaring Tides from Clannad.

3.5/4 stars


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2008)

*The House of Exorcism(1973)* -When "Lisa and the Devil" flopped, the producer decided he'd redo that movie to make this, which is an Exorcist rip-off about a Priest trying to save a possessed girl. It's not bad, but it does feel like two seperate movies are going on at once, making it sort of a mess. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 30, 2008)

*The Army of Darkness(1992)* - Ash(From the "Evil Dead" movie) gets thrown back in time to the middle ages, where he must battle demons to get home. You'll either love it or hate it. It's cheesy and outdated, but witty and awesome. RAIHOU PLUSH PREORDER!!!

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Jul 31, 2008)

I thought Strangers was a piss-poor movie, really, and I have pretty low standards. I also couldn't bear watching Sweeny Todd, because I'm too damn manly.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2008)

Kill Baby, Kill(1965) - A doctor goes into an old town where mysterious murders are taking place. Mario Bava combines gothic horror with colorful, hypnotic surrealism that clearly inspired Dario Argento(for "Suspiria"). It's great, but pretty slow moving. [/CENTER]

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 1, 2008)

I liked Planet Terror; it was just a cool movie that didn't take itself seriously. I never watched Death Proof because of all the bad ratings it got.

As for Strangers, I don't know, it was predictable. I knew what was going to happen to the couple (not exactly, but knew their fate), saw the friend's visit thing coming a mile away, and I didn't find it scary at all--that's not the movie's fault, it's because I'm too damn manly.

I did like some stuff, like how they left it open-ended and really kept the killers a mystery. I hated that the couple broke the rules of scary movies though. They should've stayed in the room.


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## Gooba (Aug 1, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Army of Darkness(1992)* - Ash(From the "Evil Dead" movie) gets thrown back in time to the middle ages, where he must battle demons to get home. You'll either love it or hate it. It's cheesy and outdated, but witty and awesome. [/CENTER]
> 
> 3/4


You best be joking, boy.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2008)

Gooba: Joking about what, the good or the bad?

Crazy Moron: Well, it's flaws are obvious. Hell, you know whats going to happen to them because the movie flat out states it in the opening credits ("What went on is still not exactly known" means no one was there to tell the story). The bit with the friend was painfully obvious as well. I think in my full review I mention the cliches, but at least the friend was smart enough to arm himself). I simply liked the strengths enough to somewhat overlook the weaknesses. I'm tired of MTV horror that dominates the genre these days..


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## Gooba (Aug 1, 2008)

> Gooba: Joking about what, the good or the bad?


Joking in that you didn't write:


> The physical manifestation of perfection, in movie form.
> 
> 4/4
> Everything else I rated 4/4 in the past is now 3.5/4 because nothing can stand as Army of Darkness's peer.



EDIT:  I do give you a lot of credit for boasting about the abilities of the guy from Man With a Screaming Brain, and chiding the woman who was in Schindler's List.

EDIT: EDIT: How could you not tell which side of this issue I was on when :gooba yields ? Which I made myself.

EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: Also, this tag: [gooba][/gooba] 
[gooba]gooba[/gooba]

EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: Also, click my sig.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2008)

lol, my eyes are bad so I couldnt see that. I do now remember you being a Bruce Campbell fan, don't you own the fc?

Anyway, unfortunately, I dont think that Army of Darkness is 4/4 star worthy. I atually like Evil Dead 2 the most out of them.....although Evil Dead was pretty scary. I guess that's the cool thing about that trilogy, is that its difficult to compare them because they're all so different.

Do you happen to know when "My name is Bruce" is finally coming out?


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## Gooba (Aug 1, 2008)

> Anyway, unfortunately, I dont think that Army of Darkness is 4/4 star worthy. I atually like Evil Dead 2 the most out of them.....although Evil Dead was pretty scary. I guess that's the cool thing about that trilogy, is that its difficult to compare them because they're all so different.


Actually, my last post in the FC was about that subject.  





> I go back and forth daily between Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness. AoD had a lot more one liners, and the whole end scene was so full of them (Theatrical, not Director's). In Evil Dead 2, it has less one liners but they are so perfect and awesome when they are given. Plus, it has the original chopping off of his hand and replacing with a chainsaw, so that is big points in its favor. There is just so much Bruce alone doing his thing and I love every minute of it.
> 
> I think today ED2 is my favorite, but ask me in a week and I might be back to AoD. It is like trying to have a parent pick between which kid they love more.
> 
> However, in terms of serious movies I like I like Bubba Ho-Tep the most. It is actually a good movie with its commentary on how we treat the elderly, instead of just an awesome, but mindless camp movie like the Evil Dead trilogy.


My Name is Bruce is supposed to come out in October, but I wouldn't be too surprised if it got pushed back some.  They've been teasing us for a long long time with that one.  God I can't wait.

If you were to ask me to list my favorite movie lines, it would read like the script to Army of Darkness followed by some random Fight Club quotes.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2008)

Best One Liner Ever: "Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun"

Anyway, I think Evil Dead 2 was scarier than AOD, so I go for that. 

lol, notice how that book from AoD has so many cameos. In the past year, I've noticed in in Jason Goes to Hell and Zombie 4.


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## Gooba (Aug 1, 2008)

My favorite was "Lady, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store."  Although I love all of them more than any other one liner from any other movie ever.  One of my favorite parts is how he insults Embeth so much that she slaps him, and then he shows her his chest and she immediately sleeps with him.

By "one of my favorite parts" I mean "a part of Army of Darkness" I think I've used that term to describe almost every moment of that movie in the various discussions I've had of it.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 4, 2008)

*Black Sabbath(1963)* -Three tales of terror here. One involves a woman recieving crude phone calls("The Telephone"), another involving a vampire hunting father returning home, possible as a vampire("The Wurdulak") and the last involving a home nurse who steals a ring from her dead charge and is haunted by her ghost("A drop of Water"). "Telephone" is decent, but bland. "Wurdulak" is cleverly written and does well with its gothic horror. "Drop of Water" is all about suspense and clearly influenced Argento's "Suspiria". A must see for horror fans. 

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 5, 2008)

So, we have Horror and Action/MA films. Might I request Thriller (pyschological or otherwise) and Comedy?

Also, for future consideration, Romance. If you're not man enough, I'll understand.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 5, 2008)

MH has already reviewed a thriller in here(Michael Clayton).


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 5, 2008)

But this is for Horrors! 

Or is Michael Clayton that bad?


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## Vonocourt (Aug 5, 2008)

I don't think MH needs to make another thread(I think two is more than enough). And I see no problem with combining Thrillers with Horror films.

And no, Michael Clayton was great.


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 5, 2008)

I've been meaning to rent that, actually, but hesitant. I'll rent it next time for sure. 

Romance and Comedy at least deserve a thread. They don't remotely fit into either of these, though I will concede to a Thriller/Horror mix.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 5, 2008)

CrazyMoronX said:


> I've been meaning to rent that, actually, but hesitant. I'll rent it next time for sure.



Just to warn you, it's pretty slow-paced and talky.


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 5, 2008)

I thought you said it was good? 

Some kind of cool ending? Classic smoothness? Sarcasm at every turn?! What's it got that's good?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 5, 2008)

lol, I dont watch enough romance threads, and yes, I dont want to make another one.

Anyway, I consider Thriller to be in the "Horror" category, more or less. Granted, there are two sides of a thriller: One being the scary Hitchcock type thriller, the other being......well, hell, whatever the hell Michael Clayton is.

Just because a movie is slow paced and talky, doesn't make it bad. I actually found the dialogue to be great and interesting.

It does have a cool ending, although it wasn't a twist......


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2008)

Rabid Dogs(1974) - Also known as "Kidnapped", some robbers take three people(one is a child) hostage. It's mean, vicious and full of suspence. Mario Bava directed a masterpiece that, oddly, doesn't even resemble a Mario Bava flick. *[Aznmedia.net] Chihara Minori - Ameagari no Hana Yo Sake[2008.8.6].rar*

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2008)

*Nightbreed(1990)* - A guy is framed as a serial killer and is killed for it. In death, he finds a home for various monsters. Clive Barker gives us some brilliant visuals, but can't deliver a good story. The acting isn't very good either. Download.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2008)

*The Mist(2007) *- A group of people are trapped in a grocery store when a mysterious myst covers their town. Unfortunately, the mist comes with some nasty monsters. It's a Grade A, classy, frightening, intelligent monster flick. enter the site

4/4


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## Vault (Aug 10, 2008)

i love this thread

i agree the mist was great fun


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 11, 2008)

The Mist was alright, but 4/4?


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## Vonocourt (Aug 11, 2008)

CrazyMoronX said:


> The Mist was alright, but 4/4?



Hot pockets

But I really liked the Mist, until the ending. That was bullshit.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 11, 2008)

As I state in my review, I was mixed on the ending. IT was ballsy, but sort of unsatisfying.

Anyway, I loved the Mist. Easily the best horror film in awhile.....IN fact, I thought it was the 2nd best movie of 2007(behind "Gone Baby Gone")


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## MartialHorror (Aug 12, 2008)

*House by the Cemetery(1981)* -Lucio Fulci focuses on suspence, gore and Bava-esque atmosphere in this spaghetti horror film. What's unusual is that he actually also tries to make a heavy plot, although it doesn't always make sense. It's about a family moving into a house by the cemetary, where an undead slasher lurks in the basement....Link removed

3/4


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## Vonocourt (Aug 13, 2008)

Maybe Stephen Colbert saw that movie while growing up?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2008)

LOL, MAYBE!

*Orca: Killer Whale(1977)*: ANOTHER JAWS RIPOFF about a killer whale hunting down the fisherman who killed its wife and unborn infant. Yes, before Jaws decided to take revenge on the brody family, there was "Orca". "Orca" clearly thinks its better than Jaws, based on a scene where a Great White Shark attacks someone(while fake Jaws music plays) and an Orca comes and kicks the crap out of it. In "Jaws 2", a dead orca washes up on the beach, presumably killed by the shark. Dueling movies always amuse me. Anyway, "Orca" is bad, but has a few frightening moments and teaches us one thing: Ennio Morricone can even turn shit into gold with his superb score.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2008)

*Sleepaway Camp(1983) *- Campers are stalked in another "Friday the 13th" ripoff. The ending is pretty cool, but everything else is subpar. Also, what slasher has more male nudity than female? Akira

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2008)

*The Wolf Man(1941)* - A man gets bitten by a wolf...and begins the wolf-man. Good ole classic horror that feels a bit dated. The cast is very strong and it's often atmospheric, but I doubt it will effect todays audiences very much. [HorribleRaws]​_Code​_Geass​_R2​_-​_19​_(480?270).​wmv

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2008)

*Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws(1995)* -Stock footage of sharks from real life, the "Jaws" movies and "Great White" attack unfortunate victims in the ocean. It's bad, REALLY bad. In terms of quality, probably up there with the worst movies ever made. Despite that, it's a great laugh. It's probably funnier than the recent slew of parody films...Reborn Dropped

1.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 20, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Cleaner(2007)* - Samuel L Jackson, Ed Harris, Eva Mendes and Luis Guzman all star in this cool murder mystery that deserved more attention than it got. Sure, it was pretty predictable, but I thought it was interesting enough. It's about a crime scene cleaner(Jackson) who may have just been set up to clean up an actual murder Reborn Dropped
> 
> 2.5/4


I keep seeing that at the rental place, but never knew what the hell it was. I think I might have to pick it up next time.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2008)

It's well worth it.

*Touch of Death(1988) *- Lucio Fulci directs this gruesome movie about a man who seduces, murders and then cannibalizes rich women. It's more interesting than it sounds and is an okay movie, but it's way too offensive and annoying......feminists critics had every right to refer to this as misogynistic.Link removed

2/4


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## destroy_musick (Aug 21, 2008)

Martial, i havent been through this whole thread yet (but i will, seeing as i'm a horror film nerd xD)

By chance though, have you reviewed Der Golem at all? or even Carnival of Souls? I recommend them HIGHLY


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 21, 2008)

destroy_musick said:


> Martial, i havent been through this whole thread yet (but i will, seeing as i'm a horror film nerd xD)
> 
> By chance though, have you reviewed Der Golem at all? or even Carnival of Souls? I recommend them HIGHLY


What are those about, pray/tell?


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## destroy_musick (Aug 21, 2008)

Der Golem is a silent, black and white film from Germany. To todays standards it's not too scary, but its influence is profound. Saying that, it still does stand on its own as a brilliant movie.

Carnival of Souls is another black and white, but not silent. It's a cult classic and often cited by George Romero as one of his biggest influences (he took a shot from the film for use in Land of the Dead). The scene where the main character sees the ghost in the side mirror of the car still creeps the fuck out of me


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## CrazyMoronX (Aug 21, 2008)

Oh, old-school horror movies, eh? I might have to look into this.


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## Un-Chan (Aug 21, 2008)

Just saw Prom Night.

How come the originals are always better then the remakes? 

Well, except Halloween  That one tied with the original


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## MartialHorror (Aug 24, 2008)

Eh? I LOVE Dario Argento. I've just already reviewed most of his good ones.......

I love Suspiria, Sleepless and Opera

I like Inferno, Deep Red, Phenomena, Bird with Crystal Plumage and Two Evil Eyes

I'm okay with Tenebre, Four Flies on Grey Velvet, and Trauma

I don't care for the one I just posted, Stendhal Syndrome or Cat O' Nine Tails.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 24, 2008)

Nah, twas a joke. It's pretty much a given that horror fan would like Argento...at least from my experiences. I just wanted a way to work the _"best"_ movie ever into this thread.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 25, 2008)

What is the best movie ever?

Anyway, to the 2 people who read this stuff, I altered my website so the Horror and Martial arts(action films) are seperated.

I intend to do my first tribute page this week for Dario Argento(Since I've reviewed over 10 of his films) Basically, it will just be a collection of Dario Argento films that I've reviewed and a little bit of backstory information on them.

*Great White(1981) *- A shark attacks a coastal town of.....Amnity? It sure looks like it. Imagine "Jaws", take away all the talent behind it........and you basically got "Great White". It is kind of amusing though. Universal sued this movie for copywrite and won, so it's not easy to find in the U.S. Muffin top

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2008)

*The Ugly(1997)* - A psychiatrist tries to evaluate a serial killer....what you'd think was a "Silence of the Lambs" clone, turns out to be something that arguably....better. "You'll Rebel to Anything" 

4/4


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## Shibo (Aug 26, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> Anyway, to the 2 people who read this stuff,



hihi, I bet there are more n_n I always like to read your thread anyway  Lately I just havent gotten a lot of time for movies  school and stuff >_>


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2008)

lol, I was joking.

*A Cat in the Brain(1990) *-  Lucio Fulci plays himself, a director who is confusing reality with his movies(particularly his crappy ones). Basically, the entire movie is summed up in the first 10 minutes. Crappy dialogue with the intent of being edgy, fake looking cats eating brains, an unusual score and LOTS of stock footage. Hence, it's gory, stupid, cheezy and lazy. Oh, it would only get worse for the maestro of gore. his next movie would be "Demonia", which might be his worst movie EVER. White = Sharp 

1.5/4


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## Vonocourt (Aug 28, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> What is the best movie ever?



I don't know?  it be? Hmm.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2008)

OOOH! I'm a dumbass and didn't notice the clip.

Wow, any oscar-worthy movie that mentions Dario Argento MUST be awesome. I must see it!

H.G Lewis.....lol, she was right on that one. I'm not sure if he ever made a good movie.

However, I disagree that Argento is the master of gore. That title goes to Lucio Fulci. Argento's films didn't have much gore, although there were always very violent(although I hear his newer stuff has alot more gore)


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## Vonocourt (Aug 28, 2008)

Have you seen "Inside"?

Someone recommended it to me, and right after someone told me to stay clear of it.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2008)

There are three movies called "Inside".

If you speak of the newest one that has been getting alot of hype, I haven't YET. But I intend too.


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## Vonocourt (Aug 28, 2008)

*looks at IMDB*

Whoa, there's a bunch, the 2007 one.

Though I heard the 2006 one was MST3k worthy.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2008)

yup, that's the one. I have it on my semi-list for netflix(I'm not the only one who uses my netflix account so I don't automatically put everything I want to see on it right away, but on a seperate list for when my netflix list clears up............yeah, I overcomplicate things)


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## MartialHorror (Sep 1, 2008)

*Frankenstein meets the Wolf-Man(1943)* - Universal loved putting out "versus" movies too, long before Freddy, Jason, The aliens and the predators began their battles. This is about Talbot(the wolf-man) hunting for Dr. Frankenstein to find a cure(death) for his curse, but finds the monster instead. Sort of cool, sort of entertaining, but not great. Source

2.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 3, 2008)

You sure watch a lot of awful movies. For the greater good, I imagine. Well done, good sir; well done.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2008)

Tis true, but today is a good one.

*Horror of Dracula(1958)* - Van Helsing is a doctor who also happens to be a vampire hunter, who must track down Count Dracula and stop his reign of evil. A gothic horror flick that manages to both scare and entertain you. I loled

4/4


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## Vonocourt (Sep 3, 2008)

CrazyMoronX said:


> You sure watch a lot of awful movies. For the greater good, I imagine. Well done, good sir; well done.



Just you wait till I get netflix, then Martial will have some competition.


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 4, 2008)

A movie from 1958 that's good and not made in Japan? 

I'll be keeping my eye out for you, vococonuter or whatever your name is.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2008)

Bring it Vono! Since you do drama, I dare you to watch "Slashed Dreams"(which was basically a drama that was advertised as a slasher)!

Hmmm, well, Dracula was made in England, produced by Hammer Studios, who were the top dogs in Horror at the time.

Panic in the Year Zero!(1962)- A title like this suggests camp, and the funky score makes me wonder if camp was the original(or final) intention. The movie itself, about a family struggling to survive a nuclear holocaust(remember this was made during the cold war), is dead serious which makes a strange contrast. It's still a worthwhile movie, just very uneven. Not quite as depressing(or effective) as "The Next Day", a movie dealing with the same issue. 

2.5/4

Tomorrows review shall be "No Country for Old Men", which will be in the other thread.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 11, 2008)

*Chopping Mall(1986) *- A movie about a bunch of horny teens being chased in a mall by killer robots simply can't go wrong. At the same time, you can't help but laugh at it. Renkin San-kyuu Magical Pokaan TV & OVAs

2.5/4

(Next up, "Jaws 2")


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## MartialHorror (Sep 12, 2008)

*Jaws 2(1978)* - Another shark attacks poor Amnity and its up to Chief Brody to save the day again. The series is already running out of steam but its still a decent followup. Link removed

2.5/4

(Next up, "The Lost World: Jurassic Park")


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## MartialHorror (Sep 23, 2008)

*The Tripper(2006)* - David Arquette directs this slasher about some drug addicts going to a concern, where a killer who thinks he is Ronald Reagan awaits. It has the necessary slasher elements(Gore and nudity), while adding some comedy and political commentary. [gg]​_Nightmare​_of​_Nunnally​_v01​_chp04​_[7EBED597].rar

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 24, 2008)

*Phantasm(1979)* - Two brothers encounter a mysterious undertaker and his undead dwarf henchman. It's a freaky, supernatural horror flick with some crazy sci-fi elements. In many ways, it reminds me of some of Lucio Fulci's flicks.....except more mature. Fallout 3

3.5/4


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## MechaTC (Sep 26, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Mirrors(2008)* - A remake of "Into the Mirror" about people being terrorized by ghosts who live in mirrors....it's just like all the other Asian horror remakes, except alot better and definately a lot gorier. Yuurisan's website
> 
> 3/4



reaaaaaaaaaally?  I avoided it due to rotten tomatoe's low score.  maybe i'll have to see it when it comes out.

on a separate note, i love horror, but my only source of video rentals doesn't have that big of a horror section


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## MartialHorror (Sep 26, 2008)

Most critics hate horror flicks in general. I'd say Mirrors is probably the best Ring Clone since The Grudge.

*Sweet House of Horrors(1989) *- Lucio Fulci directs this made-for-TV horror that was deemed to be too gory to be aired. Regardless, it manages to be both boring AND annoying so who cares? It's about two evil(in my opinion) kids who manage to conjure up the spirits of their parents, who kill/torment people they don't like. this

1.5/4


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## masamune1 (Sep 26, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Righteous Kill(2008)* - Two veteran detectives chase down a serial killer who kills murderous and thugs. It seems that the writers put everything into making two great characters that Robert De Niro and Al Pacino could play. However, they put so much into those two, they forgot about everything else! this
> 
> 2.5/4



Does this really qualify as a Horror film?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 26, 2008)

It's a thriller and a murder mystery, which I usually put in here.


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## Vince Johnson (Sep 27, 2008)

the descent is the best horror movie i've seen recently


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2008)

yeah, that's a good one.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 30, 2008)

*Night of the Living Dead(1968)* - Zombies trap a group of people in a rural home. It was revolutionary, inspiring hordes of zombie films. It also happens to be very scary, arguably the scariest B movie ever made. Uncharted 2 confirmed to be in development

4/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 30, 2008)

Mirrors wasn't bad, I agree. Wasn't earth-shatteringly great, but not many movies are. A good watch.


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## Evilene (Sep 30, 2008)

Do not! I mean absolutely DO NOT watch Vegas Vampires. One of the worst B grade horror movies evah. It's only good to riff on.  It's as if they were using their rent money for the budget.


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 30, 2008)

That just encourages MH to watch it more.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 30, 2008)

Well, not that you said that, I MUST WATCH IT.


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## Evilene (Sep 30, 2008)

> That just encourages MH to watch it more.






> Well, not that you said that, I MUST WATCH IT.




They showed it on the IFC channel regularly a month back so you can catch it there. Or you can buy it online for under 10 bucks or more. Or rent from your local blockbuster.  So go on chidren. Bask in the badness.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 1, 2008)

*The Believers(1987)* - Martin Sheen plays a father who must protect his son from cultists. It's a pretty big budgeted horror with some slick photography, but it could've been scarier. BT

3/4


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## Zeroo (Oct 2, 2008)

Since you're a horror movie fan and all you should check these guys out
Spiritomb
...they're counting down the 100 greatest horror flicks of all time...this week they're counting down from #100 to #81 ...obviously there is already a lot of disagreement in the comments section...I mean they placed 'Sixth Sense' at #96 and that was like one of the greatest horror movies I've seen....but hell wat do i kno..


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## Chee (Oct 2, 2008)

Sixth Sense? Well hell yea! That's one of the best horror films I've ever seen.

Doesn't try to scare you at every corner which is why I like it.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 2, 2008)

I liked Sixth Sense, but thought it didn't really hold up well after multiple viewings(the problems with movies that rely so much on twists).

*House on Haunted Hill(1959) *- Vincent Price plays a snobby ritch guy who invited strangers to an old "haunted" house for his wifes birthday party. Then someone dies....is the house really haunted? It's very campy, but also manages to be surprisingly creepy. 13

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 3, 2008)

*The Exorcist II: The Heretic(1977) *- A Priest is sent to investigate the events of the first film, boredome ensues. It makes little sense, has shoddy dialogue, wooden acting and is BORING as hell. This little crapshit was possessed by the demon of bad movies, but can't be exorcised. 14avi

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2008)

*Cut and Run(1985)* - Ruggero Deodato found success in the controversial "Cannibal Holocaust", so was given a bigger budget to do a followup. It's definately polished looking and enjoys some nice production value, but its surprisingly plain. DBZ Movie = shit!!!!!!!

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 6, 2008)

*Sometimes They Come Back(1991) *-This part horror, part melodrama is about a school teacher who must confront the ghosts of an evil gang he killed in his childhood. This scared me to death as a kid, not so much as an adult. fansubwiki

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2008)

*The Whip and the Body(1963)* - Christopher Lee stars as a 19th century sexual devient who is suddenly killed in his castle....until people start seeing visions of him alive. What the hell is going on? Mario Bava began his usual style here, showcasing an odd arrangement of colors that we love him for. It's also very creepy, just as good as his best stuff. Bit slow early on though....Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 8, 2008)

*Poltergeist(1982)* - A family encounters a poltergeist, who steals their daughter from them. It's time to call.......Ghost Busters!(okay, just some experts). This big budget horror flick manages to be both fun and frightening. Link unrelated.

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 10, 2008)

*The Curse of Frankenstein(1957) *- Dr. Frankenstein is about to be executed, so tells the Priest the "truth" behind some mysterious murders. Apparently, he created a monster and things got out of hand. This film would lead to th famous Christopher Lee/Peter Cushing pairing that would become popular in "Horror of Dracula". This is a very freaky film that focuses more on the doctor than the monster. Very impressive, even better than "Horror". these things

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 12, 2008)

*[Rec](2007) *- A reporter and her cameraman record a spread of an infection that turns people into wannabe zombies in an apartment building. Another hand held camera venture that is quite probably the best out of them. It's pretty scary. 
[Tadashi] SOUL EATER 1-13

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 12, 2008)

*Quarantine(2008) *- A remake of [Rec], about a reportera and her cameraman following some firemen into an apartment building that ends up being full of creatures from "28 Days Later". It's competently made, but nothing compared to the original. Impress Bt font.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2008)

*Poltergeist III(1988) *- The poor little girl from the first film(and second, I presume) is sent to live with her aunt and uncle for awhile.....of course, ghosts follow. I think its underrated and it's cool that it tries to be different than the original. Very flawed, though. Heavy Weapons Guy

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2008)

*Hatchet for the Honeymoon(1970) *-A married serial killer kills young brides to unlock repressed memories of his murdered mother. When he kills his wife, her ghost haunts him. It's a decent Mario Bava flick, but not his best by FAR. Anime Universal

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2008)

*Max Payne(2008)* - Not sure which thread to put this, because it has both action/horror elements, so I'll post it in both! Max Payne, a disgruntled detective, hunts for the murderer of his family which leads him to a string of serial killings as well as a drug that makes you see demonic visions. Another example of an inspired director doing his best with a shoddy script.....FUCKING NASTY SHIT LOL

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2008)

*Don't Torture a Duckling(1972)* - One of Lucio Fulci's first horror(thriller, actually) films is also arguably his best. Somber, haunting, moody and occassionally downright intense.....if hen has ever created a masterpiece, it's this one. It's about a small village in rural italy that is plagued with a child murderer. Kids For Obama Parade.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2008)

*Deep in the Woods(2000) *- French horror flick about a troupe of actors(who specialize in "Little Ride Riding Hood" for plays) getting stuck in a castle, where they are hunted down by someone wearing a big bad wolf costume. It's not very intelligent and the characters suck, but the director is superb with the photography and suspense. Damn, he might be the next Dario Argento. Random Website #1

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2008)

*Jurassic Park(1993)* - Spielberg film about dinosaur experts going to an island to test out a new park....that showcases dinosaurs! It reminds me how summer movies used to be....adventurous, exciting, maybe frightening(which this movie is) and even a bit intelligent. Now we get movies like "Mummy 3". Still, this is an awesome flick with dinosaurs that still look believable. McCain's level of disclosure according to open secerts

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2008)

*Sanctimony(2000)* - Casper Van Dien plays a serial killer who must avoid two detectives.....Uwe Boll's directional debut has some good stuff early on but lost me when it stopped being a Se7en ripoff and decided to be an American Psycho ripoff. Still, Dien is pretty fun...Look at number 18

2/4


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## Para (Oct 31, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> MOVIES TO WATCH
> 
> *Wrong Turn 2: Dead End*- This direct-to-DVD sequel lacks the punch of the first one. However, it has more of a plot, lots of gore, well-written characters and some nice humor as well. Good for genre fans.
> source
> ...



My sister said she started watching it but stopped because it was "fucked up". I might now go and check it out  thanks for the tip.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 31, 2008)

It is pretty fucked up, lol

*Shutter(2008)* - Ghosts haunt peoples cameras...appearing on pictures. I saw this remake of the thai horror(above) in theaters and wrote a review of it.yet I just noticed when I went to put up the 2004 Shutter on my site, I had completely forgotten to post this one up. That's how forgettable it is.......still, not as terrible as the "Pulse" or "One Missed Call" remakes. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! RETARDS!!

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 2, 2008)

*Saw 5(2008)* - Jigsaws apprentice traps some new folks in the usual game while a disgruntled FBI agent hunts him down. It's the same stuff as usual, but I'm still surprised at how decent the series still is at this point. Only watch if you've seen the other films, or you WILL be lost. Yah, hoppin on that chatzy real quick.

2.5/4


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## Chee (Nov 2, 2008)

Didn't you see that Molly Hartlet film? You should review it.


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## Chee (Nov 2, 2008)

Heh, sounds horrible. 

Advertising was weak as well. I didn't hear about this film until the 30th of October. =\


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## MartialHorror (Nov 5, 2008)

I saw a few trailers in the theaters.
*
Exorcist 3(1990)* - A detective hunts down a posessed serial killer. This creepy, dialogue heavy horror flick is at the least, an improvement over Exorcist 2. At the absolute best, an underrated masterpiece. Link removed

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 5, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Saw 5(2008)* - Jigsaws apprentice traps some new folks in the usual game while a disgruntled FBI agent hunts him down. It's the same stuff as usual, but I'm still surprised at how decent the series still is at this point. Only watch if you've seen the other films, or you WILL be lost. Link removed
> 
> 2.5/4


 I have watched them all and I will STILL be lost. I have no memory retention in movie continuums. I didn't know what the hell was going on in Saw IV.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 5, 2008)

lol, Saw 4 basically took place during the same time Saw 3 was going on. The guy in the end who wanted to know where his daughter was before getting shot was the main guy in Saw 3....

Still, it's all pretty confusing. Saw 5 is even moreso.


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 5, 2008)

Yeah, I figured some of that stuff out. But, it was just too confusing for my feeble mind!  I just don't remember the older characters or wtf was going on.

I'll still watch 5 though. I haven't been disappointed in the series yet.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 12, 2008)

*Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors(1987)* - Freddy stalks some more kids, but this time they've learned to fight back. More of an action/fantasy with horror than just a horror movie.....still, lots of imagination and shocking special effects make this the best sequel in the series........even though in itself, that's not much of a compliment. Heather Langenkamp did forget how to act though....Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 13, 2008)

*P2(2007) *- entertaining but generic and predictable horror about a woman being stalked by a psychopath in a building garage. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 16, 2008)

*The Revenge of Frankenstein(1958)* -Frankenstein is back, using the limbs of the poor to make a new creation.......alas, he actually succeeds.....but things go awry for the good(?) doctor. Bold and original sequel to "The Curse of Frankenstein" arguably surpasses the original in terms of intelligence.......but not so much in scares. Still, a great followup. Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 16, 2008)

*The Evil of Frankenstein(1964)* - The third entry in the Hammer Frankenstein movies is generally considered the be the worst........but hell, the lavish production value, the crisp pace and Peter Cushing make it into a pretty decent film, so if this is the worst...that just says that the other films must be that good. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 18, 2008)

*The Third Man(1949)* - Suspense laden thriller/film noir about a man going to Vienna to find out his good ole friend Harry Lime is dead. He investigates, but finds himself being chased, framed and in trouble. Amazing camera angles and superb lighting make this a classic....while the score and choppy pacing disapointed me. cry

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2008)

*Twilight(2008)* - A forbidden love blooms between an angsty high school girl and a vampire with scary hair.....boredome ensues. wlk power leveling


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## MartialHorror (Nov 25, 2008)

*Hard Candy(2005)* -A bitchy little girl and a potential p*d*p**** do a battle of the wits game........unlikable characters hurts an otherwise, edgy and well-made movie. BD review

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 2, 2008)

*1408(2007) *- A skeptic writer of ghost stories gets a chance to meet the supernatural when he stays at an evil hotel room. Intense, fun horror flick that is flawed(soap opera drama) but still better than most of todays horror. LINK

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 3, 2008)

*Visitor Q(2001)* - Takashi Miike directs this repulsive, offensive, pretentious(not in a good way) crapfest that is equally boring as it is disgusting. It's about a messed up family whose lives are interupted by some wierd stranger. Arguably my least favorite movie of all time. Visitor Q

0/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 5, 2008)

*I confess(1953) *-A man confesses his murder to a Catholic Priest. The Priest reluctantly keeps silent, as confessions are meant to be kept secret. But things are awry when the Priest is implicated in the murder. What will he do? Thought provoking, moody, suspense filled, intesne thriller that makes you ask questions. Only drawback is an annoying female lead. Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 9, 2008)

*Tales of the Quadead(1987)* - A mother tells 2 boring stories to her ghostly son. Yet another movie to earn the "Worst Movie ever" award. Yet I dont know why I bother, as I will eventually find one that is worse....fap

ZERO/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 11, 2008)

*Laura(1944)* - Laura, a woman who everyone seemed to be in love with, is brutally murdered. A detective searches for her killer, but finds himself falling in love with her too. A classy film noir/mystery that knows how to manipulate the audience to a T. Superb cast(Vincent Price in a supporting role) and strong plot twists make this a must see. Ultra

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 12, 2008)

*Jaws(1975)* - A shark terrorizes the coastal town of amity. It has it all, and is my personal favorite movie of all time. Evanescence

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2008)

*Criminally Insane(1975) *- Ultra low budget/pre Friday the 13th slasher about an obese woman who loves food so much that she will kill you if you try to take it away from her. The blood suspiciously looks like red paint, but the lead actress gives a superb show. It's much better than most slashers, while being disapointing because it felt like it could've been more. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 17, 2008)

*Crazy Fat Ethel 2(1987)* - Sequel to Criminally Insane has Ethel being released into a half way home, only to go crazy over food again. The film is hardly directed(even though it's the same director as the first film), has a below Z grade budget, is badly acted(ethel is passable), and the plot/dialogue all sucks. The final nail in the coffin is the overuse of stock footage, making it an utter bore. Website

ZERO/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 18, 2008)

*Rogue(2007)* -Australian tourists are stranded on a small island and are terrorized by a crocodile. It's not camp, and unfortunately was overlooked due to the failure of the other big croc movie(Primevil). This is a shame, because it's actually surprisingly frightening. the best of its type since Alligator. Dragon Blood Sorcerer (Prc)

3.5/4


----------



## Espresso (Dec 20, 2008)

The Army of Darkness(1992) .


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## Vonocourt (Dec 20, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Hard Candy(2005)* -A bitchy little girl and a potential p*d*p**** do a battle of the wits game........unlikable characters hurts an otherwise, edgy and well-made movie. SPARKLING VAMPIRES
> 
> 3/4



Bit late to comment, but fuck that movie. Bunch of bullshit that sacrificed any chance of liking a character, there by actually being thrilled by the danger they're in, for the sake of trying to shake the viewers thoughts on the matter. It didn't.

Seriously, not even Ellen Page could save it.

Plus, complete waste of the 2.35:1 aspect ratio. If you're going to shoot so many close-ups to make it feel real claustrophobic, why not go with a narrower view.

The special features say how great it is to make a indie film, and that they can do stuff Hollywood wouldn't let them, then ditch the now standard 2.35:1 ratio and pick 1.66:1.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 20, 2008)

lol, true. It's basically like "Natural Born Killers" in that the leads are so difficult to like, you might end up hating the movie. I'm actually surprised I was alright with Hard Candy, as I hated NBK for that reason.


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## Chee (Dec 20, 2008)

I have a hate/love relationship with Hard Candy. I like the whole "innocent girl turns out to be a torturing p*d*p**** freak" plot to it but yea, characters made it hard to relate to them. Don't hate it as much as Vono does but I don't love it, I'd watch it again if it was ever on.


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## Deamiel (Dec 22, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> *Visitor Q(2001)* - Takashi Miike directs this repulsive, offensive, pretentious(not in a good way) crapfest that is equally boring as it is disgusting. It's about a messed up family whose lives are interupted by some wierd stranger. Arguably my least favorite movie of all time. 80spurple
> 
> 0/4



Repulsive, offensive and disgusting?  I might have to look it up.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 22, 2008)

I wish Hard Candy was just about a potential p*d*p**** stalking a young girl. That, to me, would be much scarier than this(in which the young girl is evil). But at the same time, it would probably be much slower(this movie actually moved alot faster than I expected)



Deamiel said:


> Repulsive, offensive and disgusting?  I might have to look it up.



Might want to read the full review as I also stress "boring". But if you watch it, let me know what you think.

*Hellraiser(1987) *- iconic gorefest about a box that traps you in the pain and pleasures of hell, eventually dragging you down into hell. When a criminal is killed by it, he's accidently resurrected as a skinless zombie and recruits his former lover into bringing poor souls to him so he can suck their blood and get his body back. It baths in morbid creativity and is quite shocking. It still has its flaws though(why was the boyfriend here?) Source: EWG

3.5/4


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## CountFloyd (Dec 26, 2008)

While i can catch you online, review Attack of the Beast Creatures.

It's a good movie I swear!

(ehehehehe)


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## Chee (Dec 26, 2008)

Have you reviewed Peeping Tom?

It's kinda laughable at times IMO. I liked it though.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 26, 2008)

Which Peeping Tom? There are plenty according to imdb.com. Also, is it a horror flick?

Anyway, I'll add both of your guys movies to my sub-list, which means it might take awhile for me to actually get to them. But I review all requests, good or bad, as long as netflix has them........(For some reason, netflix completely omitted "Phantasm 2", which pisses me off. I want to watch 2 before I watch 3!)


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## CountFloyd (Dec 26, 2008)

MartialHorror said:


> Which Peeping Tom? There are plenty according to imdb.com. Also, is it a horror flick?
> 
> Anyway, I'll add both of your guys movies to my sub-list, which means it might take awhile for me to actually get to them. But I review all requests, good or bad, as long as netflix has them........(For some reason, netflix completely omitted "Phantasm 2", which pisses me off. I want to watch 2 before I watch 3!)



Really, i was just kidding don't actually watch that movie. It's so so so bad (and i've seen my fair share of crap 80's horror)


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## Chee (Dec 26, 2008)

It was made back in the 1960s. Guy kills women with a camera tripod and films it.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 26, 2008)

Ill still watch them both. To me, you can't truely love good movies unless you endure the bad ones.

I doubt it could be worse than "Oasis of the Zombies" anyway.......


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## Chee (Dec 26, 2008)

Very good wisdom there, Martial. 

The 1960s one isn't all that bad. It was just how the main character talked that made me laugh. There was also a couple of moments where my eyebrows rose in disbelief. I haven't seen the 2002 one.


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## CountFloyd (Dec 26, 2008)

Chee said:


> It was made back in the 1960s. Guy kills women with a camera tripod and films it.



Sorry, Chee I was referring to my post Attack of the Beast Creatures, just to clear up any confusion.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2008)

She was refering to that Peeping Tom movie I think.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2008)

*The Devils Honey(1987)* -Lucio Fulci directs this erotic thriller about a girl who harasses a doctor for failing to save her boyfriends life. It's very sleazy and just seems intent on showing off as much female nudity as possible, but the editing is sharp and it is kind of entertaining. [Zero-Raws] Maria+Holic Promotional Video (AT-X 640x480 DivX685 120fps).avi

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 28, 2008)

*Psycho II(1983) *-Norman Bates is back! Surprisingly interesting and complex story mixed in with dreaded atmosphere and frightening suspense. In truth, how sequels should be! his

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 31, 2008)

*April Fools Day(1986) *-A slasher stalks some girls in a mansion on a remote island. Gory, disturbing, funny and has an ending that is predictable but cool nonetheless. But still, you'll either love it or hate it. Listen

3/4


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## Tobirama (Jan 1, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Hellraiser(1987) *- iconic gorefest about a box that traps you in the pain and pleasures of hell, eventually dragging you down into hell. When a criminal is killed by it, he's accidently resurrected as a skinless zombie and recruits his former lover into bringing poor souls to him so he can suck their blood and get his body back. It baths in morbid creativity and is quite shocking. It still has its flaws though(why was the boyfriend here?) Listen
> 
> 3.5/4



Haha this is a great movie, watched it long long ago and it still makes me tingle. Clive Barker was on top form here. Also the sequels deserve a mention too, simply for sheer ingenuity


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2009)

Yup yup.

*Them!(1954)* -Giant ants terrorize New Mexico. Superb special effects mixed in with a lightning fast pace and some genuinely frightening moments make this a worthwhile horror. Listen

3.5/4


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## Vonocourt (Jan 1, 2009)

*"THEM!"*

Only line of dialog I remember.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2009)

I think thats the only bit of dialogue anyone remembers..........


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## MartialHorror (Jan 3, 2009)

*White Noise 2: The Light(2007)* - After a failed suicide attempt, a man begins to see a white light which tells him if someone is going to die. He begins to intervene and save people from death, but at what price? Surprisingly engrossing ghost-mystery with some good jolts and decent atmosphere. It actually surpasses the original. IDF forces crossed the border and killed 20-30 Hamas fighters

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 7, 2009)

*Cannibal Holocaust(1980) *-A film crew is killed by a cannibalistic tribe and its up to a Professor to find them and watch the footage of how they died. Oy, not enough story and while well made, it simply is an excuse to show horrific acts of violence. NeoBux

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2009)

*Unborn(2009)* - A girl has bad ghostly visions of doom. Surprisingly stylish and creepy hororr flick with a solid cast, but lacking a coherant script. Looks like Star Ocean 4 is coming earlier than initially announced!

2.5/4


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## Chee (Jan 9, 2009)

Welp, that's what I expected out of The Unborn.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2009)

*My Bloody Valentine 3-D(2009) *- A slasher about a coal mining, pick axe-wielding psychopath slashing down anyone he comes across. Typical slasher fare.....with 3-D. [AoShen]To Aru Majutsu no Index 15 SD.mkv

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 25, 2009)

*Underworld: Rise of the Lycans(2009) *- The origins story of why lucian hates Viktor and vampires. Serviceable, but dull prequel to an already dull series. Link

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 30, 2009)

*Frankenstein Created Woman(1967)* - Baron Frankenstein puts the soul of his dead assistant into a womans body. But he still hasn't learned that bad things happen when the dead come back to life......very stylish, occasionally scary entry in the Hammer Frankenstein series.....but the story is pretty lame. Novatech

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 2, 2009)

*The Uninvited(2009)* -A girl returns home after spending some time in a mental institution only to find her Father has gotten together with another woman. She begins to see ghostly images, all pointing to her future step-mom being the one who killed her mother. It's a remake of "A Tale of Two Sisters", but I haven't seen that. On it's own, it's a very engrossing horror flick that's only main flaw is the mucked up ending. 

3/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Feb 2, 2009)

White Noise 2? I have never heard of that one before. I barely even remember what White Noise 1 was about.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 2, 2009)

White Noise 2 was direct to DVD, which is why few people hear of it.


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## Kira U. Masaki (Feb 4, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *White Noise 2: The Light(2007)* - After a failed suicide attempt, a man begins to see a white light which tells him if someone is going to die. He begins to intervene and save people from death, but at what price? Surprisingly engrossing ghost-mystery with some good jolts and decent atmosphere. It actually surpasses the original. Link
> 
> 3/4



wow i cant believe you gave it that high a grade, id probably give it a 0/4 if it wasnt for the fact that the dude from firefly was in it

on a side note while were at d grade horrors, did you catch wyvern on scifi


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2009)

lol, well, not everyone can like a movie.

I havent watched Sci-Fi original movies since...........that crappy Raptor Island movie. Well, I guess Abominable is the exception(I rented it), because that one is pretty good......


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## Kira U. Masaki (Feb 4, 2009)

abominable i didnt know that was a sci fi original

actually wyvern was alright , and then the captain drake movie was okay too - though was fantasy and not horro


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## Kira U. Masaki (Feb 5, 2009)

btw if i hated tale of two sister, and hate that blonde chick, i prolly wont like uninvited will I?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 5, 2009)

lol, I havent seen "A Tale of Two Sisters". So I really don't know.


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## Kira U. Masaki (Feb 6, 2009)

tale of two sisters, is the movie that hollywood once again ripped off from asia to make the uninvited


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## crazymtf (Feb 6, 2009)

^Acting like the original movies don't usually suck to begin with. That's right ringu sucked and so did the ring. 

But i still want to see uninvited when it comes out on DVD.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2009)

Hey, I liked Ringu and the Ring.

Anyway, I know Uninvited is a remake(I mention it in the full review ), I simply haven't seen it yet. Might get to it next week.


----------



## Rukia (Feb 6, 2009)

Martial, you claim to be this big horror film aficionado.  The pressure is on for you next week.  Friday the 13th comes out next weekend.  I'm lukewarm on the movie, but I realize it's going to make over 100 million.  I have to stay current with my pop culture...I will be there opening night.  I expect you to do the same.

Failure to do so will cause you to lose some of your credibility.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2009)

Rukia said:


> Martial, you claim to be this big horror film aficionado.  The pressure is on for you next week.  Friday the 13th comes out next weekend.  I'm lukewarm on the movie, but I realize it's going to make over 100 million.  I have to stay current with my pop culture...I will be there opening night.  I expect you to do the same.
> 
> Failure to do so will cause you to lose some of your credibility.




Lol, I'll watch it, but not sure about opening night(I usually see movies with my Dad on Friday, and I really don't want to watch something that smutty with him).

I doubt it will make 100mill. But that would be awesome. I think the trailers look good, but my expectations will be low.

On reviews to expect these next few days: Taken(today, if my computer doesn't suck), D-Wars, Seed, Circle of Iron and MAYBE something else.


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## crazymtf (Feb 6, 2009)

Rukia said:


> Martial, you claim to be this big horror film aficionado.  The pressure is on for you next week.  Friday the 13th comes out next weekend.  I'm lukewarm on the movie, but I realize it's going to make over 100 million.  I have to stay current with my pop culture...I will be there opening night.  I expect you to do the same.
> 
> Failure to do so will cause you to lose some of your credibility.



Friday the 13th will own. I remember my first friday the 13th movie. 1993, that's right i was 4 bitches


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## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2009)

lol.

*Seed(2007)* -A killer survives his execution, and seeks revenge on his enemies. Vicious, cruel and bitter movie by Uwe Boll(House of the Dead) that is surprisingly scary under all that crappy script. Surprisingly good movie by Boll, who is often peoples top choice for worst director. Link removed

3/4


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## CalRahhh (Feb 12, 2009)

I've heard of Seed. The main thing people have seemed to talk about on other forums is this scene where apparently the killer slowly beats a person's head with a hammer until it is nothing more than mush, and then sticks the hammer handle into the remains, and all done in a really long take,and the camera doesn't move an inch. At least that's what I heard.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 12, 2009)

Yup, I even mention that in the full review. Its disturbing, but also feels out of place(in the context of the story at that point) and slows things down.

*New York Ripper(1982) *- Lucio Fulci directs this slasher about a serial killer who preys on women in New York. Very nihilistic and people often accuse it of being misogynistic(I disagree). Regardless, it's cruel, gory and because its not a fun slasher, it's often branded as boring. Still, I did find a certain genius throughout it all.......often argued as Fulci's last great film, which might be true. Download shippuuden 96

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 13, 2009)

*Day of the Dead(2008) *- This remake to Romero's cult classic is about a group of survivors of a mass infection that causes people go crazy(28 Days later style) in a Colorado town trying to....well, survive. The original didn't work for everybody, this remake will barely work for anybody. It's fast pace, gory goodness and entertainment value makes it watchable........but it's pretty dorky. this

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2009)

*Friday the 13th(2009)* : This remake of the original classic, which has the serial killer known as Jason Voorhees avenging his mother, has lots of blood and boobs. It's also technically better than most of its type, so I give it a decent rating. Vocaloid

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2009)

*Dial M for Murder(1954)* -Old school Hitchcock movie about a man who plots to murder his cheating wife. Lots of suspense, sinister lighting, witty dialogue and intriguing yet evil characters reminds me of an Oliver Reed movie. It's great, even though the ending is a bit hurried......Empire Falls

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 19, 2009)

*Eraserhead(1977)* - Erm, a guy has some dreams about his deformed kid.....or something. David Lynch's debut is a whacked out one. It's surreal.....in an almost purist sense. It makes no sense, but the dread filled atmosphere and creative visuals make this a masterpiece.........only for surrealist fans though. Personally, I'm kind of bored by it. Really guys?

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 19, 2009)

*A Tale of Two Sisters(2003)* - Two sisters return home from a mental institution only to encounter a new stepmother and ghosts....is there a connection? Stunning asian horror flick that manages to be scary and have impressive locations. Too bad they fumbled at the ending a bit.....recently remade into "The Uninvited". Both Announced for Europe Only

3.5/4


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## Chee (Feb 19, 2009)

Too lazy to check, did you rate Tale of Two Sisters higher than the Uninvited?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 19, 2009)

Yup. I gave Uninvited a 3/4(decided between that and a 2.5/4)........I considered giving Tale a 4/4, but settled on a 3.5/4......


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## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2009)

*The Untold Story(1993)* -Hong Kong's eqivalent of "Silence of the Lambs" has Anthony Wong giving an award winning performance(it won Hong Kong's version of the oscars), lots of gore......and that's it. It's part mad-slasher, part bumbling cop movie(in a comical sense), part prison movie....mostly all boring. It's technically competant and has a cult following, but I don't think movies like "Silence of the Lambs" should be mixed in with movies like "Pink Panther". Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2009)

*Hellbound: Hellraiser 2(1988)* - Sequel to the awesome "Hellraiser" has a pretty bad first half. it's just stock footage, a constant reminding us of the first movie, bad exposition and plot turns that are very similar to the first movie except not scary. But when they go into hell.......brace yourself for a freaky, morbid, gory visual feast. The series goes downhill from here....eventually going DTV. But it's a worthy sequel, about the lead from the first movie going into hell to find her father, facing the cenobites(and worse!) once again. Snow Princess

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 27, 2009)

*Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter(1984)* -Final chapter my ass, as this is only part 4 of the series which, including the reboot, has 12 entries. Jason is finally killed(seriously, that's how they advertise this), but prior to this he terrorizes a family and their horny neighbors. It's one of the scarier, gorier entries filled with lots of sex and given a bigger budget. But the script really has some serious issues, and some of the editing(MPAA dictated) don't help things either. For fans only......marks the return of makeup artist Tom Savini and introduces Jason's greatest foe, Tommy Jarvis. 3

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2009)

*Tombs of the Blind Dead(1973)* - This atmospheric zombie tale about undead Knight Templars haunting a monastery has everything: Brooding atmosphere, chilling noises, freaky zombies, zombie horses, lesbianism, rape, gothic locations, a choppy pace, gaping plot holes and a freaky ending. [Zero-Raws] Soul Eater 47 RAW (704x396 DivX684).​avi

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 5, 2009)

*Carnival of Souls(1962)* - Back in the day, this was an original, scary horror flick that has a strong fanbase. 47 years later, I watched it and just saw a movie that spawned so many imitations that it has become predictable and slow. Still, it's worth a watch, retaining a solid level of spooky atmosphere. the list

2.5/4


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## Espresso (Mar 7, 2009)

The Army of Darkness(1992) .


----------



## White★Star (Mar 7, 2009)

Espresso said:


> The Army of Darkness(1992) .



I have never seen that movie but I wanted to see it:amazed


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## MartialHorror (Mar 9, 2009)

*Scarecrows(1988)* -For some reason, this wasn't officially released until 2007. It's about a group of bank robbers taking hostages but ending up fighting for survival in a cornfiel against some murderous scarecrows. Some overacted, inane(and too much) dialogue, as well as some idiotic characters.....but it's pretty scary. Watch only if you like horror flicks. Karakura Forums

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 11, 2009)

*Audition(1999)* -Slow moving, very Lynchian masterpiece by Takashi Miike about a case of dating gone wrong. loveable characters, some terrifying moments and an awesome(and brutal) finale make it worth watching. Not for everyone though. Outskirts Battledome

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 14, 2009)

*The Last House on the Left(2009)* -Two girls are raped and beaten by escaped convicts, one escapes barely alive and reaches her parents house. However, the convicts are forced to stay the night with the parents hit. This can only lead to revenge. It starts off like a typical remake but ends up as something that might be better. To be fair, I wasn't a fan of Wes Craven's original. [Shimasen] Nyoron 05 & Haruhi-chan 09-10 YouTube Pack

2.5/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 16, 2009)

I just watched this movie caled Hanzo the Razor: The Snare. Apparently it's part of a trilogy, but the best one.

Man, this movie was whacked. It was a cross between a decent samurai movie and a porno, but really toned down. It stars Shintaro Katsu, from Zatoichi fame, and he's pretty awesome in it. The opening scene is just classic. A guy torturing his giant dong with a wooden club, scalding water, and literally fucking a bag of rice.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 16, 2009)

Yeah I've heard about it. Never watched it though. My Dad almost recorded it for us to watch, but watching a movie with that kind of content(torture using sex, etc) with my conservative Dad just......isn't that appealing to me. 

Still, one day I'll watch it! One day....


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 16, 2009)

*The Black Cat(1981)* -Lucio Fulci's gothic horror flick is a smaller scale horror flick compared to his bigger movies of the time(The Beyond/City of the Living Dead). It took two viewings to like it, but it's catchy score and gothic interiors/exteriors make it very enjoyable, although it does have a few flaws(bland characters, unanswered questions). Casshern​_Sins​_Ep1-6​_[1080p,BluRay,x264]​_-​_THORA

3/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Mar 16, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah I've heard about it. Never watched it though. My Dad almost recorded it for us to watch, but watching a movie with that kind of content(torture using sex, etc) with my conservative Dad just......isn't that appealing to me.
> 
> Still, one day I'll watch it! One day....


Well, the sex scenes are very toned down. This is 1973 Japan we're talking about here. They show breasts and once scene with an ass in it. The torture sex consists of a woman in a net being lowered, raised, and spun around while Hanzo is lying on his back.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 16, 2009)

lol, I suppose that's no worse than the "Lone Wolf and Cub" movies with all their sleazy nudity and rape sequences.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 20, 2009)

*Friday the 13th Part 2(1981)* - Jason makes his introduction, killing off new teens near camp cyrstal lake just like his Mommy did. Tries too hard to imitate the original, "Bay of Blood" and even "The Burning"(which came out the same year). It has its moments, however, and the finale is quite scary. Link removed

2.5/4


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## Para (Mar 21, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Last House on the Left(2009)* -Two girls are raped and beaten by escaped convicts, one escapes barely alive and reaches her parents house. However, the convicts are forced to stay the night with the parents hit. This can only lead to revenge. It starts off like a typical remake but ends up as something that might be better. To be fair, I wasn't a fan of Wes Craven's original. SideTaker
> 
> 2.5/4



While you say you are not a fan of the original, how does the remake measure up? Would you say it is better?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 21, 2009)

Slightly. I think the remake is technically better, but I prefer the 70's atmosphere of the original for the setting. I'd probably rate the original a 2.5/4(maybe 2/4).

*Dario Argento's Pelts(2006)* -This "Masters of Horror" episode has a pelt maker getting some wonderful racoon pelts, but they aren't really racoon pelts, they are the pelts of ancient, malevolent creatures who possess and kill everyone who touches it. Lots of nudity, gore, John Saxon in a small role and some atmosphere by Argento make it enjoyable. But it's not scary at all and too silly to take seriously. [/CENTER]


2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 21, 2009)

*Knowing(2009)* - A man reads a letter that predicts every major accident, past and future. But what happens when the numbers run out? Filled with suspense, superb CGI, along with sympathetic characters, strong actors and crazy symbolism..."knowing" is a strong movie. Too bad it starts off kind of weak.....[/CENTER]


3/4


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## Espresso (Mar 23, 2009)

Joking in that you didn't write.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 23, 2009)

Espresso said:


> Joking in that you didn't write.



What??????


----------



## Para (Mar 24, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Slightly. I think the remake is technically better, but I prefer the 70's atmosphere of the original for the setting. I'd probably rate the original a 2.5/4(maybe 2/4).



Interesting. I recently watched the original and thought it was alright, so I might check out the remake now. Thanks for the tip


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## crazymtf (Mar 24, 2009)

Last house on the left looked good, gonna check it out.


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## CalRahhh (Mar 25, 2009)

Last House On The Left remake has been getting a pretty good reception from hardcore horror fans from what I've seen. It was funny, when it was first announced they were all raging about it being PG-13, then when they actually saw it, it was more graphic than the original. pwned.


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## Para (Mar 25, 2009)

Skeksis said:


> Last House On The Left remake has been getting a pretty good reception from hardcore horror fans from what I've seen. It was funny, when it was first announced they were all raging about it being PG-13, then when they actually saw it, it was more graphic than the original. pwned.



Well I know we get away with more at lower ratings these days but damn; PG-13?


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## CalRahhh (Mar 25, 2009)

It's not PG-13 anymore, its R now, but when it was first announced one of the biggest rumours flying about was that it was gonna be PG-13.


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## Para (Mar 25, 2009)

Oh right I see  well they do tend to panic about that a lot in remakes and adaptations.


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## CalRahhh (Mar 25, 2009)

Lulz should've specified.Yeah, they get riled up if you simply utter the word 'remake'.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 27, 2009)

*Blood Feast(1963)* -Often considered to be the first splatter film("Jigoku" actually came first, but it isn't as bloody), this has a serial killer killing women and taking body parts as a sacrifice to a Goddess. Yes, it's absurd and has some of the worst acting ever. It's poorly written and directed(by H.G Lewis), but that's kind of why it's fun. It also helps that it's gory.....very messy. #[Shimasen] Nyoron 07 & Haruhi-chan 13-14 YouTube Pack

2/4


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## Yosha (Mar 29, 2009)

yeah, the movie had potential but it just failed with depth and focused more on jump scares.

edit - you should check out "when a stranger calls", must see imo. The original not the shitty remake...sequel is not that bad either.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 29, 2009)

I saw the original and the remake. The original has a good opening and finale, but the middle block bored me......plus, it sort of ripped off "Black Christmas", one of my favorite slashers. 

*Slugs: The Movie(1988)* -Killer slugs attack a small town. It's more of a ripoff of "Them!" than the expected "Jaws". Some great gore sequences almost save this 80's camp-horror with too many pointless, disposable characters all acting very angry and annoying. Daffodil Festival

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 2, 2009)

*Demons 2(1986)* - The sequel to the first "Demons", which was a bad movie that happened to be pretty cool, writes off the original as a movie that happens within this movie or something......I think. Anyway, I don't know how you can have more of a nonsensical plot than the first "Demons" did, but it does. Luckily, I found this to be more exciting and frightening this time around, making me the only one who thinks this sequel is actually superior to the original. Directed by Lamberto Bava(son of the great Mario Bava) and produced by Dario Argento. Followed by 2 unofficial sequels(one also directed by Bava). weeeeeeeeeeee

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2009)

*Wild Zero(2001)* -Silly Japanese movie about a rock band(real life rock band Guitar Wolf) taking on a bunch of zombies. It's just as cool as it sounds. For that matter, it's also just as absurd as it sounds. this song

3/4


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## KushyKage (Apr 10, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, you saw Wild Zero?



Ya..Wasnt that good at all though ...zombies were weird looking. Some funny parts but meh. And that chick is really weird looking, my reaction was the same as Ace


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## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2009)

lol, I think I say in the review that it will turn alot of people off.


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## KushyKage (Apr 10, 2009)

lol. still aiights, ok im about to go through the picks again...any new ones that are good?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2009)

New movies? Not really.........I guess it depends what you consider to be new.

I hear good things about "Let the Right One in" and "Inside", but I havent actually seen them.

Hmmm, even though it's old, I strongly reccomend "The Curse of Frankenstein".


----------



## Yasha (Apr 14, 2009)

Any great post-apocalypse/mass human disappearance films (preferably without zombies) that you know? (other than _I am Legend_, I'd seen that one) I always love the atmosphere of emptiness and lifelessness created in those films.


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## CalRahhh (Apr 14, 2009)

Yasha said:


> Any great post-apocalypse/mass human disappearance films (preferably without zombies) that you know? (other than _I am Legend_, I'd seen that one) I always love the atmosphere of emptiness and lifelessness created in those films.



28 Days Later should be right up your alley. It just oozes atmosphere and isolation. Although it technically could be considered a zombie film, even though the infected people aren't traditional zombie like creatures. More like rabid feral and raging primates than anything. But yeah, checkit.

Plus, its my fav horror movie of all time. If that means anything


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## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2009)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, "Kairo" maybe?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 17, 2009)

*Manhattan Baby(1982)* -Egyptian Ghost story about a little girl who gets posessed. Lucio Fulci's most nonsensical movie is barely redeemed by fluent, impressive camerawork and decent actors. Too bad that stuff wasn't in a better movie! This is the beast that began his decline, often referred to as the final film in Fulci's golden years. Only for fans of his though. Rikaichan

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2009)

REVISED REVIEW. Just so you know, If I re-watch a movie I've reviewed, I might go ahead and change my opinion. The link(April Schedule) can be found on the site to see the revised reviews. 

*Righteous Kill(2008)* -A killer preys on criminals, and the detectives in charge begins to suspect that one of their own may be the killer. Before I said that the movie was a generic cop thriller with two great actors, and that's still the case. But the constant bickering between the two detective groups was more noticeable this time around, making it irritable. 3

2/4(originally was a 2.5/4)


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## MartialHorror (Apr 23, 2009)

*Blue Velvet(1986)* -A man gets involved with a possible murder, a deranged woman as well as a psychotic drug dealer. It has all the Lynchian awesome symbolic visuals, the aura of a Dario Argento movie and the suspense of Alfred Hitchcock. The 3rd best thing to come out in 1986(the 2nd being "Aliens". The 1st being me). lul

4/4

(Note: I reviewed "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" but can't paste it onto freewebs without it shutting down. So who knows when I'll get it up)


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## MartialHorror (Apr 26, 2009)

THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN RE-WRITTEN AND RE-UPLOADED. 

*Godzilla, King of the Monsters(1956)* -An American reporter documents how Tokyo was destroyed by a giant monster. Iconic monster flick introduced Godzilla to the west, itself a re-edited version with inserts of Raymond Burr of the original Godzilla flick, Gojira. While it's less effective(mostly due to the dubbing), it is still quite effective. As the World Turns]

3.5/4


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## beautiful scorpio (Apr 26, 2009)

Martial What about the new "Last House on the Left"?  I don't kno if you have already did this one or not.  But i have seen the orginal one and i didn't like it that much...And i was wondering if the new version is worth watching or should i stay away?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 26, 2009)

It seems people who didnt like the original prefer this one.....while people who liked the original don't care for the remake.

Im mixed on both.....I reviewed it(its in my sig)


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## beautiful scorpio (Apr 26, 2009)

Cool..Thanks ..I really appreciate it.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 27, 2009)

*Joy Ride: Dead Ahead(2008)* - DTV Sequel to the cool thriller "Joy Ride" about the murderous trucker hunting down some new teens. Strangely, it rips off "Monster Man" more than the original and while it's direct-to-DVD, it offers a few good moments. Not bad. collapse on itself

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 30, 2009)

*Terror Toons(2002)* -A girl buys a DVD about murderous cartoons and the cartoons come out of the T.V to terrorize her and her friends, as well as us. It's a former "worst movie ever" that's reclaimed it's title, now being the only "worst movie ever TWICE". I think it's time for me to do what I promised to do with 0/4 star ratings. *loads shotgun*, DIRECTOR JOE CASTRO! HERE I COME! BambooPanda

ZERO/4


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## MartialHorror (May 2, 2009)

*Transsiberian(2008)* - An annoying couple meet up with some mysterious people on the transsiberian(a train) through Russia and get involved in some bad stuff. The thriller part doesn't get started till like an hour in and it never becomes exciting enough when it does. Also, I don't want to spend an hour with these people when nothing happens. Still, it's not poorly made, just very disagreeable. Lineart by jadeedge

2/4


----------



## crazymtf (May 3, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Joy Ride: Dead Ahead(2008)* - DTV Sequel to the cool thriller "Joy Ride" about the murderous trucker hunting down some new teens. Strangely, it rips off "Monster Man" more than the original and while it's direct-to-DVD, it offers a few good moments. Not bad.
> father and son
> 
> 2.5/4



Sounds worth a watch but not a buy. Thanks because i was thinking of buying it since i enjoyed Joy Ride alot, but this one I'll just...DL


----------



## MartialHorror (May 3, 2009)

lol, good call!


----------



## MartialHorror (May 5, 2009)

*Stray Dog(1941)* - A police procedural with touches of noir that comes from an unlikely source.....Akira Kurosawa and Toshiro Mifune! Mifune(favorite Japanese actor 1) plays a cop whose weapon is stolen and his life takes a turn for the worst when that weapon is used in a murder. Takashi Shimura(favorite Japanese actor 2) takes him under his wing to help him out. Amazing thriller that might not work for everyone due to it's choppy pacing. Male hair removal

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 7, 2009)

*Troll(1986)* -A troll haunts an apartment complex. Has some good traits(SFX), but overall it's just a poorly made horror-fantasy that's hard to take seriously and not bad enough to be funny. Cryuff says Chelsea loses 'cause their own ultra-defensive style

1.5/4


----------



## beautiful scorpio (May 7, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Troll(1986)* -A troll haunts an apartment complex. Has some good traits(SFX), but overall it's just a poorly made horror-fantasy that's hard to take seriously and not bad enough to be funny. fanart
> 
> 1.5/4



i remember watching this and troll 2 when i was little...and your right not very good...but troll 2 was bad enough to be funny.


----------



## Vegitto-kun (May 7, 2009)

I watched the mist 2 days ago, wtf at the ending.


----------



## beautiful scorpio (May 7, 2009)

I thought the mist was ok...But ur right the ending was pretty messed up,   I kinda felt bad for the guy


----------



## MartialHorror (May 7, 2009)

I loved the Mist. Ending was easily one of the harshest downers ever.

*Troll 2(1990)* - A family goes to the town of Nilbog where vegan goblins want to eat them. I'm not making this up. In fact, this movie wins the award for most "I'm not making this up" sequences of all time. Worse than "Troll", but is easily more entertaining. Link removed

2/4


----------



## crazymtf (May 7, 2009)

Vegitto-kun said:


> I watched the mist 2 days ago, wtf at the ending.



Lol one of the most fucked up ones.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 12, 2009)

REVISED REVIEW

*Five Dolls For An August Moon(1970)* -The first time I watched this obscure Mario Bava flick, I felt it was a bland whodunit about a killer who picks off shady people on a remote island. The second time I saw it, I realized it was worse. Most laughable editing ever. There's a Pimping Project now!

1.5/4(was formerly a 2/4)


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (May 13, 2009)

"Feast" , Have you seen this movie?  It's pretty wild!


----------



## MartialHorror (May 13, 2009)

Yeah, sadly, I saw it before I was making reviews. Loved it though.

Still need to see the sequels.......


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (May 13, 2009)

there's sequels?


----------



## MartialHorror (May 13, 2009)

Yeah a 2 and 3, both DTV. I hear they aren't as good though.


----------



## beautiful scorpio (May 13, 2009)

Martial what do you think about Godzilla vs. King kong  I was going to watch it yesterday  but i wasn't sure whether it was worth the download time,


----------



## MartialHorror (May 13, 2009)

ummmmm, reviewed it somewhere: Great White(last Shark): 

Most Godzilla reviews are in my other thread. Only the more horror ones are here. I rated KK Vs Godzilla a 2/4..


----------



## MartialHorror (May 14, 2009)

*Just Before Dawn(1981)* - "Friday the 13th" meets "Deliverance" in this surprisingly well done, intense, frightening slasher about a group of teens who are stalked by a deformed, inbred. One of the best slashers out there. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 16, 2009)

*Angels & Demons(2009)* - Ron Howards followup to "The Da Vinci Code" has the advantage of a superior plot, and that it's less of a gimmick. Yet it's tired characters and slow pace keeps it from reaching its full potential. Robert Langdon returns to solve another puzzle, this time a puzzle where lives are on the line. In fact, Nagato seems partial to the Bible chapter Deuteronomy, considering he keeps QUOTING IT!


2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 17, 2009)

*Dirty Harry(1971)* - An edgy thriller about a rough cop who must bring down a crazy serial killer. It's actually strange how similar "The Dark Knight" is to this. It's a great film, even superior than "TDK". But you don't need me to tell you that, right? Link removed

4/4


----------



## masamune1 (May 17, 2009)

^I would'nt call either of these "horror" movies. Especially _Dirty Harry_.

And no, _Dirty Harry_ is'nt superior to TDK. It's a great film, but it's not superior.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 17, 2009)

Both are thrillers. I'm actually very lax on what I consider to be 'horror'.

I lost a bit respect for TDK when I saw it on DVD. When a movie goes from theaters to DVD, they have to center the screen and cut out some of the edges, so the result feels different. But to each their own.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 20, 2009)

*I Spit on Your Grave(1978)* -A woman is brutally raped and seeks revenge on her rapists. It's part exploitation/part art-house, so the result is that exploitation fans won't enjoy it because it's not entertainment while art film fans won't like it for it's sleaze. Still, it does make it a better entry in the rapexploitation genre. The highlight is one of the most nightmarish castrations to appear on film. Link removed

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 24, 2009)

*Halloween H20: 20 Years Later(1998)* - "Scream" and "Halloween" were great horror films, both products of their times. One started a slew of scary(and bloody) slashers, although most sucked. One started the hip, new era of slashers, although most sucked. So since "h20" was made only a few years after "Scream", you get a mix between old and new. It doesn't work. Not scary or hip. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as Michael's sister, who must evade him once again. Underrepresentation of Minorities/ Japanese in Naruto.

1.5/4


----------



## Para (May 28, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Halloween H20: 20 Years Later(1998)* - "Scream" and "Halloween" were great horror films, both products of their times. One started a slew of scary(and bloody) slashers, although most sucked. One started the hip, new era of slashers, although most sucked. So since "h20" was made only a few years after "Scream", you get a mix between old and new. It doesn't work. Not scary or hip. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as Michael's sister, who must evade him once again. New TTGL
> 
> 1.5/4


I actually liked this movie simply for bringing back Jamie Lee and the way it ended her story in the Halloweenverse. Of course, all that was destroyed in Resurrection...

Hey Martial; what do you think this Last House on the Left remake is gonna be like? I saw a poster for it yesterday.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 28, 2009)

*Blade Runner(1982)* -Not a horror film, but a dark sci-fi noir/thriller that fits here more than in the other thread. The films quality varies between which cut you watch. If you watch the theatrical version, you got a 2/4 star movie. If you watch the directors cut, it's a 3.5/4 star movie. I hear the final cut is the best so.........It's about a detective who hunts Replicants, meeting his match against a superior replicant. ufc.com

3.5/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (May 28, 2009)

Dirty Harry was alright--I saw this just a couple weeks ago--but some parts were slow and overall it wasn't *that* compelling. It had some good moments, but I don't think it was all it's cracked up to be.


----------



## Vonocourt (May 28, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Blade Runner(1982)* -Not a horror film, but a dark sci-fi noir/thriller that fits here more than in the other thread. The films quality varies between which cut you watch. If you watch the theatrical version, you got a 2/4 star movie. If you watch the directors cut, it's a 3.5/4 star movie. I hear the final cut is the best so.........It's about a detective who hunts Replicants, meeting his match against a superior replicant. Link removed
> 
> 3.5/4



The only major differences(so not counting any alternate takes used) between the director's cut and the final cut are some scenes of violence originally cut from the domestic release to get a R rating.

I grew up on the Director's Cut, so I'm not really to keen on the added violence. But the Final Cut is the definitive version.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (May 28, 2009)

Maybe someone snuck some cocaine in my coffee that day, but when I watched Bladerunner I thought it was pretty damn boring.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 28, 2009)

CrazyMoronX: on DH, I have a soft spot for films that take the ultimate good guy and are put against the ultimate bad guy. Usually it's one or the other. Example, Joker stole TDK, Hannibal stole "Silence of the Lambs" and Rambo stole the show for his movies. With DH, you have a hero and a villain of equal measure, which fascinates me.

As for BR, it's evenly paced. Usually when I find something to be slow, I try to look at its aesthetic value. It's what made "Once Upon a time in the west" for me. But I guess most movies lack that.

Vono: Ah, well I thought the directors cut was violent enough. Really, when you think about it, the film didn't even need to be R. But I guess it fits the tone alright.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (May 28, 2009)

Maybe I'll watch this Final Cut some time and give it another chance.


----------



## MartialHorror (May 29, 2009)

*Drag me to hell(2009)* -A loan officer refuses to give a gypsy an extension on her loan. The result is the gypsy places a curse on her. The story is nothing new or spectacular, but Raimi brings back the spirit of "Evil Dead" and turns it into a surprisingly scary movie. He's at Anfield till 2014

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 30, 2009)

*House of the Dead(2003)* - People get attacked by zombies on an island. It was a crappy video game that got an even worse adaptation to the big screen. Was Uwe Boll's video game adaptation debut, and many wish it was his last. DHC Deep Cleaning Olive Oil

1/4


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jun 1, 2009)

Have you watched Slither?


----------



## CalRahhh (Jun 1, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *House of the Dead(2003)* - People get attacked by zombies on an island. It was a crappy video game that got an even worse adaptation to the big screen. Was Uwe Boll's video game adaptation debut, and many wish it was his last. *this page*
> 
> 1/4



I liked the games  but yeah, film was utter shite. But we never expected anything else from it, did we?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 1, 2009)

1) Yes, I watched Slither. Pretty good.

2) lol, no we didn't.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION! STARTING NOW I WILL GIVE SOME PRIORITY TO MOVIE REQUESTS! AS LONG AS THEY FIT WHAT I USUALLY REVIEW. I also stress the "starting now" part, so I'm ignoring previous requests.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2009)

*Return of the Blind Dead(1973)* - Sequel to "Tombs of the Blind Dead", which focused on atmosphere and slow building suspense. This entry ignores its predecessor by changing the origins of the blind dead. Basically, some villagers killed the Satanic Templar Knights in the past. Now that they're resurrected as skeletal zombies, they go for revenge against the descendants. It has the suspense, but lacks any characters worth rooting for. AU

2.5/4

For the review of the first movie: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2009)

*The Day the Earth Stood Still(1951)* -An alien arrives on earth, warning that if we don't clean up our act, then BYE BYE earth. It has a purpose, and that purpose is effective. But it's also one of those films that you can't have but feel disappointed by thanks to the hype. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 11, 2009)

*Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus(2009)* -A Megalodon and a Kraken are awaken and cause havoc. Scientists try to capture, kill and eventually force them to fight each other. I expected bad, but figured it would be a good kind of bad. I didn't notice that it was created by the villainous studio known as "The Asylum", who creates the boring kind of bad. Tazmo

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 15, 2009)

*The Mummy(1959)* - Peter Cushing and some archeologists enter a sacred tomb and a religious fanatic sends a Mummy(Christopher Lee) after them. Has some very scary scenes, especially due to the fact we care for the characters while Lee plays the role of the Mummy perfectly. It also has Peter Cushing, and the director is Terence Fisher. Lacks a strong narrative, which is damaged by a pointless and overlong flashback, and it has some other problems as well, but it is pretty fun. Hammer horror films are awesome.  here

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 18, 2009)

*Predator(1987)* -An alien picks off commandos in the middle of the Central American jungle. It's basically "Rambo" meets "Alien", which is an awesome combo. Intense, fun, scary, creative and will satisfy both fans of action and horror. The Anti Sasuke x Sakura FC

4/4


----------



## masamune1 (Jun 18, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Predator(1987)* -An alien picks off commandos in the middle of the Central American jungle. It's basically "Rambo" meets "Alien", which is an awesome combo. Intense, fun, scary, creative and will satisfy both fans of action and horror. I fap to this
> 
> 4/4




*Spoiler*: __ 



-They realise he's hunting for sport because he came back for the body, even though he must have realised (since he avoided them all) that the place was filled with mines. There was also the fact that he did'nt kill/ take the girl, and the way the other commandos were strung up and skinned. Once they realised the rebels probably did'nt do this, and that it was one guy/ thing acting alone, it was a fairly reasonable deduction.

-For the plasma gun, I always just assumed it just had different settings depending on the Predators mood. Sometimes it's clean, and sometimes he feels like making an impression.

-Van-Damme was let go because they realised he was shorter than many of his co-stars, and hence not as intimidating. 




I believe _Predators_ is going to be a full-blown sequel. At least, Rodriguez intends it to be as much.

Anyway, excellent review. I think the best horror films have that element- the monster is scariest when the victim is someone who is quite tough and strong, but is terrified of the thing anyway (not saying this is one of the best horror films- it's more an action/ horror and not the scariest film ever- but it's definitely better than the Predator picking off a bunch of teenagers like everybody else). 

I agree with almost every point- the acting was great, the story was strong, the pace was perfect, and while the effects were dated at times the monster and his kills still pack a punch. While it's not going to give too many people nightmares, it's still scary when it has to be and funny andenjoyable when it does'nt.

Very good review. The other four better be as good


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## MartialHorror (Jun 18, 2009)

1) That kind of makes sense I guess.(on the sporting thing).

2) the reason why I worded Van Damme's involvement like that is because I keep hearing different things. That's the first time I heard your version. Other versions include

- That he was being a little bitch, even attacking a stuntman for no reason.
- That he hated being cast as a special effect so he quit.
- That the suit was uncomfortable.

Next requested review will be "The Thing"(although I'll review a few other movies before that), after that, I'll get to the other request(Executioner). Exect it in 2 weeks tops, probably less.

Edit: Oh yeah, I agree that Predators will probably be intended as a sequel. It probably wont mention the previous 2 films, but won't overwright them either. If only "The Incredible Hulk" and "Punisher: War Zone" did that.


----------



## Starstalker (Jun 19, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, then you should be sort of grateful that you havent been thrown into the wonderful world of bad italian zombie films...yes, 28 days later is a good one.
> 
> 
> MOVIES TO AVOID
> ...



Woah woah woah...avoiding Diary of the Dead?
Why? It sure is better than Dawn and Land.
I watched it 3 times and it was...amazing(sure know what I'm talking about. I'm a HUGE HORROR FAN!!! )
By the way can I get your opinion on ''The Uninvited''?


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2009)

er, I gave "Diary" a positive review, but I didn't care for the characters. 

As for Uninvited. .

I liked it. Rated it a 3/4.


----------



## Rukia (Jun 19, 2009)

Orphan:  10/10.


----------



## Starstalker (Jun 19, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> er, I gave "Diary" a positive review, but I didn't care for the characters.
> 
> As for Uninvited. .
> 
> I liked it. Rated it a 3/4.



Oh, honest mistake.
Anyhow, got any good horror movie to recomend?
Like, the best one you've watched so far.
I don't consider ''Blood blood...kill kill'' a horror movie, those stuff are boring.
I prefer something that messes with your head.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2009)

hmmmmm, try "Tale of Two Sisters", "Curse of Frankenstein", "Them"(Ils; not the bug one, although that's good too), "Frailty"(if that counts). 

I might think of more later.


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## Shoddragon (Jun 19, 2009)

Review Heavy Metal 2000. I saw it on netflix yesterday ( instant watch) and... well... I saw it back in 2001 on TV but.... I kind of don't understand the story. All I know is that it has TITTIES.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2009)

lol, I'd rather not. I hate that kind of animation.....If you really insist, but It would take awhile.


----------



## AiSakuraHana (Jun 20, 2009)

*Anti Christ* (4/10)
If you like natsy sex,dead/nasty animals and crazy people. and forest
The movie CRAZY! But my taste at all!


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 21, 2009)

Never heard of it.
*
Chaos(2005)* - Rip-off of Wes Craven's "Last House on the Left". I didn't care for that one, but compared to this it's "Citizen Kane". The graphic violence is disturbing, but the tone of the movie goes back and forth between realistic to cartoonish, making it hard to watch for both fans of realism and exploitation. It's just a bad, pretentious movie that makes Uwe Boll look passable in comparison. Charles Atlas Superpowers

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2009)

*My Bloody Valentine(1981)* - People are violently killed on valentines day by a man in a mining suit. It has some serious flaws, like a lame love triangle sub plot and some bad acting, but I found it to be an entertaining slasher flick. Hell, some scenes are actually quite ambitious. I prefer this to the 2009 remake of the same name. Pourtsmouth's Takeover by Abu Dhabi Billionare is nearing completion

3/4


----------



## Starstalker (Jun 25, 2009)

Have you watched ''Dark floors''?
I just saw it and I was like, WTF?
Never understood the ending.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2009)

The name doesn't sound familiar.


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Jun 25, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Drag me to hell(2009)* -A loan officer refuses to give a gypsy an extension on her loan. The result is the gypsy places a curse on her. The story is nothing new or spectacular, but Raimi brings back the spirit of "Evil Dead" and turns it into a surprisingly scary movie.
> 
> 3/4


I might have actually rated this slightly lower, personally. You're right about the movie. It wasn't as great as expected.


----------



## CalRahhh (Jun 25, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> The name doesn't sound familiar.



It's a recent horror. I'm pretty sure it was created by members of Lordi (cheesy as fuck hard rock/old school heavy metal euro music comp winners). I'm also pretty sure the members of Lordi appear in their stage outfits as monsters.


Ryan Reynolds as Spike.​


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## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2009)

*Against the Dark(2009)* - Steven Seagal plays a hunter who hunts down vampire-like creatures after they've taken over the world in this "I am Legend" rip-off. Except there is a twist,  he isn't actually the main character. Lame B movie that is so poorly lit, you can't see what's going on. Collective Soul

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 30, 2009)

*The Vanishing(1988)* - A dutch existential thriller about a man searching for his missing wife. Her killer contacts him, promising to tell him everything, but at a price.....amazing film that is nightmare enducing, with one of the most effective endings of all time. Very Hitchcockian. Madara picspam

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2009)

*The Thing(1982)* - An alien kills off scientists in a compound located in the antarctic. John Carpenter somehow managed to create a movie that is vastly superior to "Halloween". Great on every level, and it's easily one of the scariest, most groundbreaking horror films of all time. Yet surprisingly, critics shook their heads at it and it flopped at the box office. Stock

4/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jul 2, 2009)

The Thing was freaky to me as a kid and years later I rewatch it and turns out it was _censored_ the first time I saw it. Great body horror. Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor is great too.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2009)

Yup. David Chronenberg would be proud.


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## masamune1 (Jul 2, 2009)

So, it's the best horror movie ever but you did'nt review it until now? For shame, MH, for shame.

While we're at it you mentioned _Halloween_, but you have'nt reviewed that either (or the first-and only true- sequel, which I personally also enjoyed greatly). Then there's _The Shining,_ _The Exorcist_, _Nightmare on Elm Street_- I knew there was a bunch of other films I forgot to mention. 

And you call yourself a horror fan? Get to work on them!

*EDIT-* Oh, and very good review.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2009)

Well, I've seen most of these prior to my reviewing. 

*and dammit*. I never was a big fan of Halloween 2, but I'll be sure to review it,. The only sequel I reviewed was H20.


----------



## Time Expired (Jul 2, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Thing(1982)* - An alien kills off scientists in a compound located in the antarctic. John Carpenter somehow managed to create a movie that is vastly superior to "Halloween". Great on every level, and it's easily one of the scariest, most groundbreaking horror films of all time. Yet surprisingly, critics shook their heads at it and it flopped at the box office.
> 
> 4/4



The Thing was an unusual movie.  One of the aspects I really liked was how Carpenter revealed the spacecraft.  It was very subdued, but spectacular at the same time.  I think it was a nice contrast to the - what the hell was that - scenes.  

The special effects _still_ get to me.  But I have to say that it's not just how well the special effects were done.  He really built tension into the scenes, the sound effects were epic (I will never forget that howl - never), and what manifest  that...thing...was terrifying.  As you said, the movie was great on every level - even the ending.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 5, 2009)

It's just an amazing movie and deserves to be loved more.
*
Frenzy(1972)* - One of Alfred Hitchcock's last movies, which is about a man who is framed by a serial rapist/murderer. Easily the sleaziest movie Hitchcock has ever done, and from what I've seen, easily his worst. It has a few good moments, but the film plods thanks to repetitive exposition on things we already know and a protagonist who deserves to be framed as a serial rapist/murderer. Not horrible, but not worthy of the master of suspense. SuperMachoMan

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 9, 2009)

*A Blade in the Dark(1983)* - Lamberto Bava(son of Mario) directs this violent giallo film about a score composer who gets involved in a string of murders. Full of suspense and style, the film convinces you that you're about to watch an intelligent thriller until the ending......where you realize they probably began writing it before they had an ending. "Shion"

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2009)

*The Crazies(1973)* - George Romero cult film that inspired "28 Days Later" and has a remake in the works. It's about how the military quarantines a town because some virus that turns people insane has spread. Romero always shoots things objectively and realistically, but it doesn't work here because everything feels so fake. Lame. 

1.5/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jul 15, 2009)

Speaking of The Crazies, what was the name of the movie where the water supply of a town was contaminated so that people drinking water would turn into insane killers with green blood?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 15, 2009)

hmmm, sounds a bit like the Crazies, but I dont know where the green blood is from.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2009)

*My Name is Bruce(2007)* - Bruce Campbell plays himself, a washed up actor who the small town of Gold Lick seems to think is the hero he plays. The problem is, Gold Lick is being haunted by a bloodthirsty demon. It completely delivers the laughs, even being funnier than "Evil Dead 2" and "Army of Darkness". I wish they attempted to make it more of a horror film though.......soft21000

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2009)

*Let the Right One In(2008)* - A disturbed boy bonds with a vampire, resulting in a strange love. It's a mature version of "Twilight" and while it's been lauded like crazy, I found it to be a bore. I didn't appreciate how it never followed through with any of its ideas. The pool scene was awesome though. 

2/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jul 17, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> hmmm, sounds a bit like the Crazies, but I dont know where the green blood is from.



I checked, and it's called Nightmare at Noon.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2009)

*Martin(1977)* -Martin is a young man who kills women and drinks their blood by splitting their wrists with a razor. His family claims he's a vampire. He claims he's a vampire. But is he a vampire? Ambiguous, chilling film that will stick with you long after you've seen it. One of the more thought provoking horror films, if you will. It also has some really scary scenes, as the character feels so damn real. Directed by George Romero. 

4/4


----------



## Temp_Position (Jul 25, 2009)

I loved 1408! I would have rated it a 4/4. but, thats probably because im biased towards anything Stephen King. Havent seen most of his movies, but his books are great (extremely thick, but worth it). 

I havent seen 'The Mist'....yet and I totally agree about your opinion about movies like Saw and Hostel..egh. 

I like your taste in horror. I always wanted to watch all 'good' horror movies possible, so ill take your list as a guide, starting from the most rated.

* If you want to check some good action/horror movies out, I've recently seen this animated horror called 'dead space: downfall.' I thought it was very good and put together nicely. I would probably rate it a 3.5/4.  It was shown on the 'chiller' channel. If you dont want to rent it, you can check it out on youtube.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 26, 2009)

lol, I like "Saw", I just don't like the legacy it spawned(ripoffs, sequels, etc). I'm alright with "Hostel", I just think its overrated.

Heard of "Death Space", but havent seen it. Maybe I'll check it out(although if you want to formerly request me to review it....)

(ugh, sorry people, Terminator review will be up tomorrow).


----------



## masamune1 (Jul 26, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> (ugh, sorry people, Terminator review will be up tomorrow).



About Fing time.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 26, 2009)

(Well, at least T2 will be up in a few days. That will be my next review and it might be in the other thread)

*The Terminator(1984)* -A Cyborg and a soldier are sent back in time to determine the fate of a woman whose son will lead a successful rebellion in the future. An intense genre piece with some cool characters, "The Terminator" never fails to entertain. It's more of an action film, but also has the affect of a horror film. What I Wish For Sakura

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 30, 2009)

*Nosferatu, a Symphony of Horror(1921)* - A Nosferatu(vampire) becomes interested in a real estate agents wife. Interested to drain all of her blood that is. Veeeeerrrrryyyyyy crrrreeeeeepppppy.......but its a silent film with a slow pace, so that might turn many people off. Naruto Revelations

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2009)

*Bloody Murder(2000)* -A hockey masked killer, who nearly drowned as a boy, picks off people at a lakeside camp. Sound familiar? Besides being a rip-off, it lacks any sense of style, gore, boobs or anything that makes slasher films fun. Somehow, it becomes convoluted in the process. Worst slasher ever, up there with some of my personal list of worst films. Come share your favorites and get exposed to other people's

ZERO/4


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## Shoddragon (Aug 6, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, I like "Saw", I just don't like the legacy it spawned(ripoffs, sequels, etc). I'm alright with "Hostel", I just think its overrated.
> 
> Heard of "Death Space", but havent seen it. Maybe I'll check it out(although if you want to formerly request me to review it....)
> 
> (ugh, sorry people, Terminator review will be up tomorrow).



Dead Space:downfall can be added to the instant queue on Netflix or watched on your PC btw. I thought it was excellent and it also sets up the story for Deadspace if for some reason you wanted to play the game.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 7, 2009)

k, I'll chalk that down as a request.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2009)

*Tunnel Rats(2008)* - Uwe Boll's latest film is a non-video game war-horror film about vietnam vets who are assigned to be 'tunnel rats', travelling miles underground to make sure the enemy isn't hiding. It's a crappy job, and Boll does a good job at showing this. Effective, but flawed, as Uwe Boll often seems to think he's Oliver Stone. Geee

3/4


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## masamune1 (Aug 9, 2009)

I still patiently await your overdue review of _Alien_ and _Aliens._


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2009)

I was supposed to be reviewing those this weekened......but things got complicated. 

They sent Tunnel Rats and Breathless before I could put them to the top. So you'll have to wait 2 more weeks..lol.

Edit: Might get either those 2 or another request next week though


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## masamune1 (Aug 9, 2009)

While you're at it, you should do the _Blade_ films. Or at least the first two.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2009)

Well, at least expect The Shining this weekened.......


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Aug 11, 2009)

Movies that needs to be talked about:

*The Brain* - The "food for thought" scene is 

*Gnaw: Food of the Gods II* - Serviceable music, the exterminator is a badass, I've always liked it

*Rabid Grannies* - Because


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## MartialHorror (Aug 11, 2009)

You guys will be the death of me.

Poor Masa, his requests might take a bit longer......


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## MartialHorror (Aug 13, 2009)

*The Mummy(1932)* - This 'so called' classic is about a resurrected Mummy who wants to resurrect his dead lover. You know a movie sucks when every character and relationship is just another plot point and every twist is explained via exposition, which seems to be making the plot up as it goes. So why does everyone seem to like this? At least Boris Karloff is cool. Blender > Konoha Plaza

2/4


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## masamune1 (Aug 13, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Mummy(1932)* - This 'so called' classic is about a resurrected Mummy who wants to resurrect his dead lover. You know a movie sucks when every character and relationship is just another plot point and every twist is explained via exposition, which seems to be making the plot up as it goes. So why does everyone seem to like this? At least Boris Karloff is cool. New Forum
> 
> 2/4



I liked _The Invisible Man_, though that's the only Universal classic I've seen (on Halloween, no less).


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## MartialHorror (Aug 13, 2009)

lol, I'll check that out sometime. The only ones I've seen are Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Wolf-Man, and Mummy........

Still need to see Dracula and Invisible Man........


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## Vonocourt (Aug 13, 2009)

Seeing as how you enjoyed the Nostalgia Critic, why don't you give The Cinema Snob a try.

Sure, his delivery is a bit off putting at first (he's definitely _a character_), but the movies he reviews seem right up your alley.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 13, 2009)

lol, I've been a fan of his for awhile......almost wasn't though. I didn't care for his "Zombie 4" review(even though I agreed with him), but I checked out his "Zombie 5" review and became a huge fan.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 15, 2009)

*District 9(2009)* - Imagine "The Day the Earth Stood Still", "The Fugitive" and "District B-13" as one mess of a movie. It tries, but collapses on its own weight. Aliens are forced to live in slums..what happens when a human has to live there?  

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2009)

*Mother's Day(1980)* - Besides not taking place on Mothers Day, this movie has the balls to attack all mothers with this boring slasher. Bad at the same location, during the same time as "Friday the 13th", it looks like it steals some ideas as well as ripping off "I spit on your grave". It's about two hillbillies and their insane Mother who prey upon 3 women in the woods. It's a rape-revenge movie that also tries being a comedy(!!) and fails miserably. But I've seen worse.....

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2009)

*The Shining(1980)* - A family moves into an isolated hotel, where a malicious supernatural entity seems intent on driving them mad. Amazing horror film that relies on more than just scaring us one way. It showcases four facets of horror: Supernatural, isolation, mental illness, and domestic violence. One of the few horror films that has both style AND substance. Link removed

4/4


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## masamune1 (Aug 17, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Shining(1980)* - A family moves into an isolated hotel, where a malicious supernatural entity seems intent on driving them mad. Amazing horror film that relies on more than just scaring us one way. It showcases four facets of horror: Supernatural, isolation, mental illness, and domestic violence. One of the few horror films that has both style AND substance. enough
> 
> 4/4



King's problem with the film is that he felt it cut out too many parts of the book, and did'nt focus as much as he wanted to on the faily theme (well, that, and he probably thought Kubrick was insane- he used to phone him in the middle of the night to ask him crazy questions about the story). I think he's warmed to it now, and he's always liked the way the supernatural stuff is left more ambiguous than in his novel.

Anyway, good review, though personally the last time I found _The Shining_ scary was in clips when I was 8, maybe younger.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 18, 2009)

lol, look at it objectively!

*Pit and the Pendulum(1961)* - Vincent Price stars as a Lord of an old castle with a dark secret. His wife has died under mysterious circumstances, and her brother investigates. But then she starts to haunt the place. Chilling and intelligent horror film that takes its inspirations of the Hammer horror films and Mario Bava, but possibly trumps them. Video Link

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2009)

*Leprechaun(1993)* - An evil leprechaun kills anyone who steals his gold. It's too stupid to be scary, but not funny enough to be a comedy. It is epic fail, which is a shame because the film had the right cast and the right look. Somehow, it spawned 6 sequels, one where he goes into space(best entry), and 2 where he goes to the hood(worst entry). Leprechaun

1.5/4 

(Note: This is the most unique review I've ever written, and intend to keep a similar style when I watch the sequels).


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## masamune1 (Aug 20, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, look at it objectively!



Objectively, I did not find it that scary.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2009)

lol, to be honest, most of the films I refer to as scary don't scare me. I refer to them as that if they have

1) Tension
2) Atmosphere
3) Suspense
4) Haunting imagery.

As long as they have all of those, I'll call it scary. But I usually don't get that far.....I'm lucky if a horror film has 1 or 2....


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## Starstalker (Aug 27, 2009)

*Drag me to hell*:

The worst horror movie I have ever seen. It is not even scary...it is disgusting. The shock scene are way too obvious due to the fact that every time something is about to pop out all sounds in the movie are set to mute. Some scenes are simply dumb, like when a girl fights a 90 year old granny in her car for 20 fucking minutes. Avoid this movie at all costs. It is simply an exorcist on the 21st century(not by plot but by awful scenes).


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## MartialHorror (Aug 27, 2009)

*The Grudge 3(2009)* - The Grudge moves to Chicago where it torments a new family, but a Japanese woman intends to stop it. It's direct-to-DVD, so you know it's not going to be good. However, it's not THAT bad. Sensui

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 29, 2009)

*The Final Destination(2009)* - Visions of doom inspire a bland protagonist to barely avoid a massive accident along with his friends. But they were meant to die, so death hunts them down. The fourth(and final?) series has the exact same story, structure and twists as the original "Final Destination". In fact, if there wasn't a breif reference to it, it could've been a remake. It really does suck, but the 3-D makes it pretty enjoyable. [Coalgirls]​_Toradora​_01-25​_(704x480​_DVD​_AAC)

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2009)

*Halloween II(2009)* - Michael is back again for the 2nd time as he continues to kill people as he searches for his sister. Rob Zombie manages to ruin all the characters while never delivering any suspense and covering up the wet gore with poor lighting. The dream sequences are pretty awesome though......God, I never thought I'd actually say that about any movie......It's not poorly made, but I don't think I've ever appreciated the original "Halloween 2" up until now.....Link removed

2/4


----------



## crazymtf (Aug 30, 2009)

Despite Halloween 2 probably sucking I'll see it tomorrow. I enjoyed the first for the killing scenes alone, lol.


----------



## Shoddragon (Aug 31, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Dead Space: Downfall(2008)* - A prequel to the game, an animated sci-fi/horror about aliens mutilating humans on a space ship......It rips off just about every sci-fi/horror film ever made, and the 3rd act sort of collapses on its self. But the fact that its animated turns it into a unique splatterfest with ample gore. I'm game! The reason behind this thread.
> 
> 3/4
> 
> (nice to do a request that isnt from Masamune, lol)



all of those "movie rip offs" and stuff were actually all in the game. also no, they didn't spoil the game. its basically a movie to tell you what happens before dead space. the movie itself was entirely based off of the game but I think you were a bit harsh about dead space "RIPPING it off" from other things. it seems more like a generic design and stuff. honestly, throughout the movie I didn't care at all about the dialogue or story. I just liked the gorefest and how it unfolds. also the reason bullets don't do much yet chainsaws do actually does make sense. slicing something in half top to bottom is actually much more effective than just shooting something. also a reason is because is uses the dead space game physics called "strategic dismemberment" I believe. basically the "aliens" are pretty much immune to headshots and you have to dismember them to kill them to make it harder for the player to beat and make it more interesting.

I actually thought you would only give it a max of like 2.5 stars. But I do agree: that fact its so gory for a animated film certainly is gripping. 

ALso on a side note: perhaps you might want to do some anime reviews like Desert Punk and other short anime series.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 31, 2009)

Crazy: Pretty much all its good for.

Shod: Then I'd criticize the game for ripping all those off. But I've never played it so can only criticize the movie.
*
Strangers on a Train(1951)* - Two strangers meet on a train and confess how there is one person in each of their lives who is making them miserable. So one proposes they kill eachothers troublemaker in the others place. Edgy, full of non-stop suspense and somehow even manages to have a sense of (black) humor. Timeless classic by Hitchcock. their way of thinking is spot on though

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 6, 2009)

*Blade(1998)* - Wesley Snipes plays Blade, a half human/vampire who slays other vampires in present day L.A. Filled with lots of imagination and attitude, nothing about "Blade" feels out of place. Add to that subtle development, slick fight scenes and great cast and characters, you have a good movie. Not great because the plot is thin and it feels like a buildup to "Blade 2", which is my next review. peacing out

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2009)

*Blade 2(2002)* - Blade returns to temperarily ally with the vampires to fight off a new movie. What it lacks in narrative and character development, it makes up with slick action sequences, lots of splatter and most of all, Guillermo del Toro's extreme sense of stylish macabre. Followed by the lame "Blade 3: Trinity". LJ contest winners

3/4


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## masamune1 (Sep 8, 2009)

Still waiting for _Alien_ (and _Alien*s*)_.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2009)

One request at a time! I still have those 2, Nightmare on Elm St and Exorcist to go.....


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## MartialHorror (Sep 10, 2009)

*Hercules in the Haunted World(1961)* - Mario Bava film about Hercules going into hades to save his beloved. He must fight Christropher Lee, spectres, zombies, demons and other black magic. ZOMBIES! How is this idea not a winner? Great atmosphere, although the low budget occasionally shows....Unless Hades has bouncing boulders. Link

3/4


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## Deleted member 84471 (Sep 10, 2009)

You haven't seen Alien/s ?! 
Yeah, get on that.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 11, 2009)

I have. I just havent reviewed them.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 11, 2009)

*Whiteout(2009)* - A U.S Marshall tries to solve a murder at the South Pole or some shit. Boring, boring, and boring. Boring plot, boring characters, predictable and boring twists. BORING! The film has its moments, but it's a surprisingly big, flawed, plot hole-filled mess that misadvertises itself as an action-horror. It's just a boring thriller. Orin

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2009)

*Sorority Row(2009)* - A prank ends badly with a teenage girl dead. Her sorority sisters vow to keep this accident a secret, but a year later, a hooded killer starts killing(...) them and sending notes claiming that he knows what they did last summer(okay, lame joke). The film is a throwback to the 90's slashers("I Know What You Did Last Summer" being the most obvious)...Even though just about every fan hated that sad time in the genre. But it makes it better with lots of boobs and gore(which is what the films of the time lacked for some reason). Not great, but it delivers the genre goods well enough. Plus, the Carrie Fischer Vs Killer scene is worth watching on its own. Link removed

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2009)

*Outlander(2008)* - A space man much team up with Vikings during the iron age to kill a vicious alien. Great idea, strong characters, and fleshed out relationships make it worth watching. However, the lighting is often poor and the CGI is downright weak considering it cost $47,000,000 to make. Dicks with chicks.

2.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 14, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Crazy: Pretty much all its good for.
> 
> Shod: Then I'd criticize the game for ripping all those off. But I've never played it so can only criticize the movie.
> 
> ...


Was Throw Momma from a Train inspired by that somehow? I must watch this.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 14, 2009)

I think so. I havent seen it, but I could've sworn about hearing that name when reading about this.


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## Deleted member 84471 (Sep 14, 2009)

Yes it was inspired by it.


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## Shark Skin (Sep 15, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> *Whiteout(2009)* - A U.S Marshall tries to solve a murder at the South Pole or some shit. Boring, boring, and boring. Boring plot, boring characters, predictable and boring twists. BORING! The film has its moments, but it's a surprisingly big, flawed, plot hole-filled mess that misadvertises itself as an action-horror. It's just a boring thriller. This
> 
> 1.5/4



Yeah when I saw the trailer I thought the same thing you did (that there might be aliens/monster(s) involved), but I did a search to find more info on it and apparently its based off a graphic novel that goes by the same title. Kinda lost interest when I saw what it was about.

This)


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## masamune1 (Sep 15, 2009)

_Throw Momma From the Train_ was'nt just inspired by it- it references it several times. DeVito gets his idea after he sees the friggin' film in the cinema.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 20, 2009)

*Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers(1988)* - Angela, the transexual killer is back as a camp counselor who kills naughty campers. Lots of gore and nudity present. Kills include acid to the face, drowning in a toilet, decapitations, beatings, cut out tongues, chainsaw death, burnings, slit throats and more! The highlight is the Leatherface, Jason and Freddy cameos. But still, it's just another slasher that's lamely photographed with poor acting(and even worse characters). It's not quite as good as the first film. MU

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 22, 2009)

*A Nightmare on Elm Street(1984)* - Freddy Krueger is a dead child murderer who hants the dreams of teenagers. Elaborate, vivid, gory set pieces make this splatter film very entertaining. It isn't very scary, but it is probably the most interesting splatterfest of its day. Keep an eye out for Johnny Depp and (in a deleted scene), Samuel Jackson. Spawned many crappy sequels. bobby8685

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2009)

*The Host(2006)* - A monster made from toxic chemicals being poured into a river attacks the residents surrounding the river. When it captures a young schoolgirl and leaves her in its lair, it's up to her family to save the day. What makes "The Host" a wonderful experience is that it's funny, sad, frightening, intense, entertaining and all around artfully made. Loved the score. Great monster design too. outside

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2009)

*Pandorum(2009)* - Two astronauts awaken on an old ship, not knowing who or where they are and what they're supposed to do. But they remember their professional training and can tell that the ships power supply is dying. So they set out to repair it....But they aren't alone. It's basically "The Descent" in space, but that's not a bad thing. Sharply directed horror film that is somewhat marred by poor lighting and editing during some of the attack scenes. Overall, give it a watch. Pic/sum

3/4
*
Surrogates(2009)* - An FBI agent investigates a murder in the future, where humans use robots as their own bodies. Bland, predictable and dull...ruined even more by its spoiler inducing trailer. It's basically a watered down, less interesting version of "Blade Runner" as well as "Minority Report". But Bruce Willis does good, the production values are good and at the absolute least, it's better than "Whiteout". Pic/sum

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 28, 2009)

*Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer(2007)* - Jack Brooks is meant to be a the new Ash(Evil Dead 2/Army of Darkness), and I can buy that. The actor does good, and Jack is pretty cool. Too bad the most of the movie showcases the effects of Jack watching his family murdered by a monster when he was only a child. The result is he has anger issues, so we get to see how that effects Jacks life. The monster slaying doesn't happen until the last 20 minutes or so, when Jack's teacher suddenly transforms into a monster and attacks the students. The monster effects are great though. Michael Eisner

2.5/4


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## Roy (Sep 29, 2009)

Good review on Surrogates, I was thinking about checking it out, now I think ill probably skip it.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2009)

*Black Christmas(1974)* - A killer murders sorority girls in a sorority row. Typical slasher plot that actually came before "Halloween". It also happens to be very creepy, with a great killer and a solid sense of style. Strangely, it was directed by a young Bob Clark, who went on to direct "Porky's" and "A Christmas Story". Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2009)

*Shock(1977)* -Mario Bava's last film is surprisingly bad, devoid of style, scares or.....anything. It does have an annoying kid and a banshee mother though. It's about a family who moves into a haunted house(original). Link removed

VIDEO REVIEW:[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11H1n0wvptA[/YOUTUBE]


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## CrazyMoronX (Oct 7, 2009)

That's MartialHorror? 

I am so disillusioned. I thought you were black. I don't know why I thought that though.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2009)

...........................................................

Okay.................


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 7, 2009)

What about Poltergeist 2, both of the Haunting movies as will as both of the The Fog movies, and Resident Evil.


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## masamune1 (Oct 7, 2009)

Now I have seen the face of my nemesis.....and he is twice my age, with 5 million-th my sense of humour.

Dissapointing. So dissapointing.


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## CrazyMoronX (Oct 7, 2009)

He's also so not black. You're black though, right?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2009)

Reaper of the Mist said:


> What about Poltergeist 2, both of the Haunting movies as will as both of the The Fog movies, and Resident Evil.



Haven't seen Poltergeist 2(coming up though), havent seen the original Haunting(on my to do list). I kind of liked the remake(but its been years since I've seen it). Liked the original Fog, hated the remake. Was indifferent to all 3 of the Resident Evil Movies(maybe slightly more positive on 1,3. Didnt like 2 at all).

Are these requests?

Masamune: I'm only 23 years old............ EVERYONE THINKS IM OLDER.

Anyway, for the record, this weeks reviews shall be (besides Shock), "Alien" and "The Golem"(not sure which will be first).


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 8, 2009)

Yes please.


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## masamune1 (Oct 8, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Masamune: I'm only 23 years old............ EVERYONE THINKS IM OLDER.



Really? Then we are of the same age, though I look (and act) younger (ignoring that little girl who a few days ago said she thought I was in my thirties). 



> Anyway, for the record, this weeks reviews shall be (besides Shock), *"Alien*" and "The Golem"(*not sure which will be first*).



How about the one I requested back when I was 22?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 9, 2009)

Yeah, yeah. Quit your bitchen. Only 2 more to go.

*Alien(1979)* - An Alien stowaway kills off the crew of a spaceship in the distant future. Its only flaw are some cheap boo scares with a cat. For the rest of the movie, we get well written characters, imaginative twists, wonderful art design(stylish exteriors, spooky interiors), a scary alien and startling direction by the guy who would later bless us with "Blade Runner". It is one of the best horror films ever made. Followed by a great sequel, an uneven sequel, a bad sequel, and two average crossovers with "Predator". But seriously, have any of you NOT seeen this? Source link

4/4


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## Shoddragon (Oct 9, 2009)

I actually saw the original alien not too long ago, maybe only 1.5-3 years ago and liked it a lot. considering a lot of people enjoyed aliens and such, I wanted to see the original.

zombieland looks incredibly awesome I have to go see it now. anyway, that "paranormal" movie looks good because its apparently  "the scariest movie of all time". although I normally don't believe such thing, since the trailer didn't actually spoil the film I'm interested. trailers these days spoil too many parts of movies.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 9, 2009)

Yeah, Ive been hearing about that one. Sadly, its not playing in my area......


----------



## Ennoea (Oct 9, 2009)

I haven't seen a good horror movie in ages, the last okay one was the original Shutter probably, the rest suck


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## MartialHorror (Oct 10, 2009)

Shutter was pretty good. Oh yeah, Reaper, it might take a few weeks to get to your requests.....

*The Golem: How He Came Into the World*(1922): The very first horror trilogy was "The Golem" trilogy, about a dangerous Golem that is summoned by a Rabbi. The first film is a 'lost film', although I don't know what happened to it. The sequel was a comedy. The third entry is actually a prequel, about a rabbi who creates the Golem to protect the Jews against upcoming danger. It all comes down to if you like silent movies. I have enjoyed some("Nosferatu" and Charlie Chaplins "The Kid" were cool), but this is devoid of any kind of meaningful connections between characters and it bored me overall. It does sport nice production values though. Very expressionistic. mamba

2/4

Upcoming reviews should be "Return of the King", "Attack Force"(both in other thread) and The Hammer "Hound of the Baskervilles".


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## Reaper of the Mist (Oct 10, 2009)

I thank you man.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2009)

*The Hound of the Baskervilles(1959)* - Sherlock Holmes must solve the mystery of the cursed hound, which has haunted the Baskerville family for generations. Peter Cushing is great as the detective, Andre Morell is great as Watson, Christopher Lee gets to play a good guy and director Terence Fisher does a good job as always. Too bad the script is a mess. It's a lesser known Hammer horror that's pretty good. You mean like this?

3/4

VIDEO REVIEW: A CAT IN THE BRAIN- Lucio Fulci's stock footage laden mes. For the written review, go here: The Sacred Blacksmith (Studio Manglobe)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSgrMa4b_MU[/YOUTUBE]


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## MartialHorror (Oct 17, 2009)

*Paranormal Activity(2009)* - A couple is tormented by a demon in their new home. This film is a 1st person POV mockumentary in the same style as "Cloverfield" and "Blair Witch Project". I found it to be surprisingly scary, but will you? Emperor of Destruction

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2009)

*The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb(1964)* - Archeologists bring back a Mummy with them to London, but someone plans on stealing it and bringing it to life. This sequel to the 1959 Hammer Mummy is the same old stuff with a few unique twists. It has sympathetic characters, solid acting, slick direction and great cinematography......but why doesn't it work?! Well, I didnt like the main gal and the pacing sucked. Pontdugard

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2009)

VIDEO REVIEW!!!

Criminally Insane 2(Crazy Fat Ethel 2)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeeCaWhvPMM[/YOUTUBE]

written review: Top 5 DOA


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## narutorulez (Oct 20, 2009)

What did you think about A Cat in the brain and its ending? It was some time ago but I remeber that I thought that the ending did not make much sense.


I got to see paranormal activity, I hope it will be shown in theaters in my town but I doubt it.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2009)

Originally I had a different ending in my revew which eplains my opinion on the ending but I had to cut it out(although I intend to release a deleted scenes thing).

As nonsensical and over-the-top happy it is, Im okay with it because Lucio Fulci's life went downhill after the movie even more, resulting in his possible suicide.

Edit: FYI on future reviews. Over the weekened, I plan on reviewing Law Abiding Citizen and Saw 6, which should be here. Next week my reviews will either be Splinter or Sword of the Beast(Sword would be in other thread) and probably Resident Evil. I also need to get my Killer Meteors review up(since the link died again. Ugh)


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2009)

*The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll(1960)* - Hammer horror film veteran Terence Fisher directs the Hammer adaptation of the Jekyll/Hyde story. Paul Massie steals the show as the good Doctor who injects himself with a potion that turns him into Mr. Hyde, a charming man who has no sense of right or wrong. It's not really a horror film, but is a passable drama/understudy. It has its fans, but it kind of bored me. Christopher Lee co-stars as Jekyll's sleazy friend and does a great job. Pontdugard

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2009)

*Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein(1948)* - Despite the title, Frankenstein's Monster is hardly in it. Instead it focses more on Dracula and the Wolf-Man, both played by their original actors(whereas Karloff refused to play the monster again). Comedic duo Abbott and Costello play two men caught up in a battle between Larry Talbot(Wolf-Man) and Dracula. It's cool seeing all the monsters here and the settings are pretty atmospheric, but I didn't find it to be all that funny. Has its moments though. Pontdugard

2.5/4


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## narutorulez (Oct 23, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> As nonsensical and over-the-top happy it is, Im okay with it because Lucio Fulci's life went downhill after the movie even more, resulting in his possible suicide.




Damn, I did not know he got into a depression and possibly commited suicide! 

Do you have any link where I can read further into this?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 23, 2009)

narutorulez said:


> Damn, I did not know he got into a depression and possibly commited suicide!
> 
> Do you have any link where I can read further into this?



Actually, no. I own Stephen Throwers big ass book on Fulci. On imdb.com, they mention a bit. 

With that said, they dont know if he did commit suicide, or if it was acccidental. He forgot to take his insulin(or he purposely didn't take it, killing himself). He was in a pretty messed up state at that time so we'll never know.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 24, 2009)

*Law Abiding Citizen(2009)* - A man whose family is murdered watches as the murderer gets off easy due to a plea bargain. He doesn't take it well and not only does he get revenge on the murderer, he goes after the whole justice system. It's a thriller, not a horror, and it's pretty good. However, it does feel like a watered down "Dirty Harry" or "The Dark Knight". Especially the latter... Pontdugard

3/4

WEEK EVENTS: Expect "saw 6" tomorrow. Next week, expect a video review of Steven Seagal's "Attack Force"(other thread) and Umberto Lenzi's "Nightmare City".

The week after, I'll get a request done(Resident Evil 1).


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## MartialHorror (Oct 24, 2009)

*Saw 6(2009)* - The jigsaws apprentice continues his work. Pretty well done, although it's the same old stuff. Pontdugard

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 29, 2009)

*Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers(1989)* - Michael continues to hunt his niece. No suspense, tension, gore, atmosphere or anything good. Worst of all, it tries to be comical, but never manages to be funny. Worst of the series. It's sad when the highlight happens to be a bunch of cute kittens... Live in Rock Werchter '09

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 31, 2009)

*Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant(2009)* - A boy is forced to become a half-vampire to save his friend, but is caught up in a vampiric political conflict. The film has some great effects, unique lighting and more, but lacks an identity. Is it a comedy? A horror? Why does it feel like neither? Still watchable though.  Live in Rock Werchter '09

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 1, 2009)

(NOTE: Will be another week or 2 before I get to Resident Evil. But expect that and a review of the original "The Haunting" to happen more-or-less back-to-back.

*Nightmare City(1980)* - Zombies take over, except this time they can run and use weapons. Horrible, horrible, film by splatter actioner director Umberto Lenzi(who also did "Cannibal Ferox") that is redeemed by being a horrible, horrible, film. Fun stuff, in a bad way.  Live in Rock Werchter '09

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 5, 2009)

*Splinter(2008)* - A couple are taken hostage by another couple, but their problems are only beginning when they become trapped in a gas station and must fight against a monster that is oddly, comprised of splinters. The monster is much cooler than it sounds. It is a nice little frightfest. Sadly, It doesn't reach 'good' status due to its budget limitations, resulting in some shakey camera work to hide said limitations. Still worth watching though if it interests you. Fucking Isis.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 5, 2009)

VIDEO REVIEW! (Includes mini review of Nightmare City)
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyUJl3hw_ho[/YOUTUBE]

*Demons 3: The Ogre(1988)* - While calling itself "Demons 3" and is directed by Lamberto Bava, it's only a sequel in name. Makes no sense, as there are no demons nor gore(which is what made the first two films). It's about a horror author and her family moving into a castle in Italy for their vacation. An ogre seems to be hiding in the basement. Nicely directed by Lamberto, but there is only about 30 minutes of material stretched into a 90 minute movie. Boring and confusing. Fucking Isis.

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 5, 2009)

The fuck is that?


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## MartialHorror (Nov 9, 2009)

Thank God that pic was taken down. 

*The Fourth Kind(2009)* - A doctor tries to investigate mysterious vanishings in Alaska. An alien movie that claims to include real life footage. It's an annoying and insulting gimmick because it's all crap. It's not a poorly done movie, but it's blatant lying lost me. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 12, 2009)

*Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde(1941)* - The famous story about a Doctor who takes a potion to seperate his evil side, with results that lead to multiple personalities, is one of the most underrated classics that I've seen out there, and we know how I feel about old movies. From the superb actors, to the great cinematraphy....to the fact that this was directed by the guy who previously did "The Wizard of Oz" and "Gone With the Wind"....I initially was going to give it a 3/4 Star rating, but decided that I had no reason not to give it something higher. Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 12, 2009)

*Resident Evil(2002)* - Military Special Forces are trapped in a high tech research facility where a super computer tries to kill them, as well as zombies, created from a deadly disease. The film tries its hardest to entertain us, and does, for some more than others. Personally, I find it to be forgettable, stupid fun, with terrible dialogue, characters, passable actors and director Paul Anderson's baffling choice to turn a horror game into an MTV action-oriented movie. Followed by two sequels. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 21, 2009)

*The Twilight Saga: New Moon(2009)* - Edward leaves Bella in order to protect her, and in her sorrow, Bella finds solace in a young werewolf named Jacob. Plotless, structureless, boring melodrama that quickly loses us because Bella's love for these two men seems to be based on the thrill that she's with a vampire(or wolf-man). It's even more of a mess than the original, but it also has better directing, acting and some humor. The Magnificent Butcher

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 23, 2009)

*Aliens(1986)* - Ripley(survivor of the first film) must return to the planet where the alien from the first film was found.....with a group of army commandos. Probably the best sequel to a great movie ever made......it compliments the original, expands the story, and manages to be unique in its own right. While not as scary as the original, it is arguably better. venn diagram

4/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Nov 23, 2009)

Dolls (1987) deserves a mention, it doesn't seem to stand out as much as Demonic Toys and Puppet Master (no sequels either unlike those) but it's creepy and has a nice teddy bear scene.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 23, 2009)

Is that a request?


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 23, 2009)

I think it's an attempted thread hijacking.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 24, 2009)

maybe.

*Night Train(2009)* - Danny Glover, Steve Zahn and Leelee Sobieski star as three strangers on a train who get the chance to make a morally ambiguous, but potentially profitable decision that will affect them for the rest of their lives. The film is full of suspense, but I loved it because I knew nothing about it, and couldn't pin down what the film would be about. Oddly, few people seem to like it as much as me....venn diagram

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Nov 25, 2009)

I've never even heard of it. However, I do enjoy me some Leelee Sobieski, so I might as well check it out. 

If I don't get a boner during the movie I'm going to come back and complain about it.


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Nov 26, 2009)

MartialHorror said:


> Is that a request?



Oh yes.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 27, 2009)

lol, kay. There is a waiting list though.

*The Changeling(1980)* - Goerge C. Scott plays a musician who has recently lost his family in an accident. He moves into an old mansion, that happens to be haunted. It clearly inspired the likes of "Ringu" and most modern day J-Horror. Scott does a great job and the film is slickly made. The problem? It's been lauded too much, so your expectations will be too high. At least that's how it was for me. Still a good movie though. venn diagram.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 3, 2009)

*Shadow of a Doubt(1943)* - A girl begins to suspect that her visiting uncle is a serial killer.......This is an immensely popular Hitchcock film, but I disliked it. Annoying characters, annoying dialogue, gaping plot holes, major contrivances and no suspense. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 6, 2009)

*The Funhouse(1981)* - Tobe Hooper directs tbis film about a group of teens witnessing a murder during after hours in a carnival, and must survive against two dangerous carnies. Weak structure, no gore, and some pointless subplots drag it down. But the carnival atmosphere is nightmarish and when the style goes into Mario Bava-territory, I got giddy. Easily one of Hoopers better films. link

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2009)

Hmmmm......Just so you know the order of requests that I plan to do.

1) The Haunting
2) Resident Evil 2(both should be this week, more or less)
3) Dolls
4) Exorcist
5) Poltergeist 2 or RE3.
6) RE4
7) Fog(original, then remake).

Er....dunno if Im missing anything. We'll see. Of course, some of my own interests will sprinkle throughout.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 8, 2009)

*Devilman(2004)* - Based on the manga, a boy becomes part demon and vows to destroy all the demons in the world. While pretty faithful to the source material, they try to fit too much into one movie and things get oddly convoluted. It also doesn't help that the acting sucks, and the directing isn't any better. Still, it's harmless enough. link

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 12, 2009)

*The Haunting(1963)* - A doctor tries to determine if a house is haunted by staying a few nights along with a few chosen witnesses. As expected, creepy things start to happen. The film is actually very creepy, thanks to slick camerawork and an atmospheric location....But it suffers from an annoying voice over and irritable characters. Directed by the man who brought us the original "Day the Earth Stood Still". It was also remade not too long ago(late 90's?) with more special effects, but less scares. Air Jordan online store

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 16, 2009)

*Resident Evil: Apocalypse(2004)* - Alice is back, teaming up with characters from the game to fight the evil Umbrella corperation, loads of zombies, and a monster called Nemesis in the undead Raccoon City. It's closer to the game, and tries to be more of a horror film, but it's still bad, even worse than the original. The director, Alexander Witt, tries to make everything look cool, and it ends up looking pretty awkward instead. Nice pacing, but I wish Paul Anderson directed it. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire Assistant 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 17, 2009)

*Dolls(1987)* - A bunch of douchebags are trapped in a castle with killer dolls......seriously.....from the director of "The Re-animator", you get plenty of great kills, lots of atmosphere, creepy-ass dolls and a good location. Even the poor acting, cliches and crummy dialogue manage to make it seem like a camp-horror classic. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire Assistant 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 24, 2009)

One Hell of a Christmas(2002) - What better way to ruin the holiday chear than a DTV Christmas horror film?

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97ZyH8oEZ10[/YOUTUBE]


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## MartialHorror (Dec 25, 2009)

*Let's Scare Jessica to Death(1971)* - Jessica is released from a mental institution but begins to see things again. Well, either that, or her town is full of murderous vampires. The film is brilliantly scored and shot, with masterful photography and even some chilling sequences. Story wise, it seems to have schizophrenia as well, throwing in lots of ideas without bringing them together well. It's pretty boring in the long run. In many ways, it's the ultimate 70's low budget horror film. Before "Halloween", the 70's were a time for experimentation in horror......resulting in even bad films having interesting aspects. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire Assistant 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 29, 2009)

*Night of the Demons 2(1994)* - More teens go to Hull House, where the events of the first film took place, and survive the night. But they bring a part of Hull House with them, allowing the demonic Angela to capture and sacrifice her sister........or something. Pointless sequel that rips off the original(which wasnt very original to begin with), but does it with less style or energy. It tries to be a horror-comedy. Too comical to be scary, and not funny enough to be a comedy. There are lots of boobs though, which is a nice distraction. It's the only movie I've seen where a chick is raped by her lipstick. Gamer

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 3, 2010)

*Blood: The Last Vampire(2009)* - Saya, a human/vampire hybrid hunts down other vampires that feed around a U.S Military base in Japan. It starts off on the right foot as a faithful anime adaptation with some kick-ass action, gore, and a character arc. It them becomes a mess of epic proportions......Still, it retains its style and gore....so I kind of dig it......even though the raping of the source material still irks me. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 4, 2010)

*The Exorcist(1973)* - When a girl is possessed by a demon, it's up to two priests to save her. Chillingly realistic, proving that even the most outlandish stuff can be done in a believable way. It's one of the few films that has a dream-like(more like nightmarish) atmosphere while feeling grounded in reality. Link removed

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 6, 2010)

*The Messengers 2: The Scarecrow(2009)* - Supposed prequel to the first film that no one remembers or cares about, it's about a family on a farm who is tormented by a murderous scarecrow. This apparently was the original script for the first one, that was changed so much in the final cut, they decided to reuse the original script for this sequel. Not bad for direct-to-DVD horror fare.....

2/4 Stars


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## MartialHorror (Jan 7, 2010)

*Cannibal Ferox(1981)* - A bunch of people go to the jungle for differing reasons and must survive against bloodthirsty cannibals. Blatant rip-off of "Cannibal Holocaust". Just as vile, but not as well made. Also known as "Make Them Die Slowly".....Link removed

1.5/4


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## Chee (Jan 7, 2010)

What a beautiful site you have there. 

While I was going through the horror film HTML, I saw that you gave Let the Right One In a 2/4. 
I gotta go read why.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 8, 2010)

lol, you better!

And yeah, thanks to Chee, my site looks more awesome now.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 8, 2010)

*Daybreakers(2010)* - In a world run by vampires, the blood supply is running low and it's up to a vampire-scientist to find a substitute. But the humans might have more than a subtitute, they might have a cure. Awesome action, splatter goodies with solid characterizations and twists. The vampire myth is treated with respect, and the directors make vampires creepy again. Link removed

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 12, 2010)

*The Brides of Dracula(1960)* - No, Dracula isn't in it, nor are any of his brides. Instead, you get the great Peter Cushing as Dracula's nemesis, Van Helsing, who must help out a lovely dance teacher who has charmed a vampire, who wants to add her to his harem. Flawed, but effective. Cushing is great as always, and props to whoever wrote the evil Baron. That guy is freaky, different from Christopher Lee's Dracula and the sexual undertones of vampirism takes a bisexual turn. Finally, Terence Fisher does a great job at directing. The problem? It's a poorly structured film, but even if busted up narrative contains a gem within every crack......if that makes any sense. It's the first sequel to Horror of Dracula. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 14, 2010)

*Memento(2000)* - A man with short term memory loss tries to solve his wife's rape and murder. It's as great as its reputation makes it out to be. Veeeery different from the usual murder mystery. Link removed

4/4


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## swindleroz (Jan 16, 2010)

how about,

*The Hills Run Red(2009)* - about a cult horror 'The Hills Run Red', this cult drags a crazy diehard fan,Tyler, and his gang to search of its origin, however death awaits.

*Martyrs(2008)* - about a young woman's quest for revenge against the people who kidnapped and tormented her as a child

*The Machine Girl a.k.a Kataude mashin gâru(2008)* - about a vigilante-justice girl whose body customized with bullet-spewing arm

*Trailer Park of Terror(2008)* - six troubled high school students and their chaperon returns from a retreat, but their bus crashed then they find terror in the form of Norma, a damned redneck reaper


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## MartialHorror (Jan 16, 2010)

Sure...........


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## MartialHorror (Jan 16, 2010)

*The Book of Eli(2010)* - Eli, a super badass in a post apocalyptic world, travels west with the last copy of the King James Bible.....which people want for their own reason. It's not an action film, a sci-fi or a drama, although it borrows elements from all of them. I hate when movies do that. Still...... I admire its craft, and Denzel Washington is great. 'Will They Or Won't They'

2.5/4


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## swindleroz (Jan 17, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Sure...........



ah i dont mean to ask you reviewing it, just what do you think about those flicks i mentioned?


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## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2010)

swindleroz said:


> ah i dont mean to ask you reviewing it, just what do you think about those flicks i mentioned?



I havent seen any of them.......... 

If you want me to review them, I will(although it might take a few weeks to start getting to them).


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## swindleroz (Jan 17, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> I havent seen any of them..........
> 
> If you want me to review them, I will(although it might take a few weeks to start getting to them).



lol ok dont bother to watch them they werent so good. 

 im a reviewer myself, only for hobby though. anyway then have you reviewed thirst(bakjwi)? its pretty cool vampire flick


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## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2010)

No, but I intend too on that one.


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## swindleroz (Jan 17, 2010)

okay, looking forward to your review


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## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2010)

*The Tournament(2009)* - a Battle Royale-esque story about the worlds greatest assassins(including Ving Rhames and Kelly Hu) fighting in an all out tournament within a town. It's an awesome actionfest with great gore, great gun fights, great car chases, great hand-to-hand fights and great style. Not to mention the cool characters. It doesn't have an original bone in its body, but I so don't care right now. THIS IS HOW ACTION FILMS SHOULD BE DONE! 'Will They Or Won't They'

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 19, 2010)

*Curse of the Werewolf(1961)* - Oliver Reed plays a man, cursed that when the moon is full, he will turn into a werewolf. This Hammer Horror has director Terence Fisher trying to make a melodrama instead, and it doesn't work....Still, it's fairly interesting in its own right.....Maybe even as a failure. Plus, Oliver Reed is awesome in his werewolf make-up(which looks amazing). 'Will They Or Won't They'

2.5/4


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## Spencer_Gator (Jan 19, 2010)

Is Legion considered a horror movie? It didn't look scary but I have heard people talk about it as it were. Do u think its going to be any good?


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## MartialHorror (Jan 19, 2010)

I think its supposed to be action-horror. 

It looks alright in a Constantine kind of way.


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## Rukia (Jan 19, 2010)

Martial.  Did you see that leaked Piranha 3D trailer?  

I'm sure the movie will suck, but it seems like it could be made into a scary movie if the right people were involved in the project.


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## Chee (Jan 19, 2010)

Ugh, I saw that when I went to see Daybreakers. You can bet your sweet ass that my palm was on my face.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 19, 2010)

I want to see it. The trailer did little for me and it reminded me a bit too much of Final Destination 4, but I loved the original film and its directed by Alexandre Aja(Haute Tension/Mirrors/Hills Have Eyes remake).

A lot of people seem to have been turned off by it, but remember that the original was meant to be campy splatter, which I presume this is too.


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## Chee (Jan 19, 2010)

Camp and Chee don't mix.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 20, 2010)

lol, you should watch the original....Even though it's campy, it's surprisingly disturbing at times. It's the only Jaws rip-off thats actually good......

Plus, I usually agree. Camp tends to suck more than not.....It's the only reason I think Nolan's "batman begins" is better than Burton's films.(except maybe not Returns......Need to watch Begins again)


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## MartialHorror (Jan 23, 2010)

*Legion(2010)* - Archangel Michael defends humanity when God decides to wipe us out. Absurd storyline with many holes and flaws, but it has some great casting, well-written characters and Paul Bettany and Kevin Durand are awesome as Michael and Gabriel, leading to a kickass fight between them. Uneven, but okay. Link removed

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 28, 2010)

*The Tingler(1959)* - Vincent Price stars as a doctor who discovers that there are parasites in our body that become stronger from our fear. Dumb plot, but Vincent Price makes it all work.....and there are some nice twists too. Link removed

3/4


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## frozenfishsticks (Jan 30, 2010)

Hey MartialHorror, I don't know if you've seen the movie *Seconds (1966)*, but it wasn't listed on your site. It's a sci-fi thriller movie. I know you've never gauged my opinion before, but trust me, it's a great movie with great camera work. It's about creating second lives for people. It has a sort of Twilight Zone feel to it, but it's a full length movie, of course. I'd rate it as a 3/4 or a 3.5/4 or your rating scale.

Also, it's well known for pushing Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys off the deep end, psychologically, since the main character was named Mr. Wilson. That's how I found out about it.


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## San Juan Wolf (Jan 30, 2010)

Have you ever seen Darkness Falls ? I love how you can prety much guess who is gonna die and how they forget to turn on the light in the car right after several people died because they had to jump down dark areas on steps , and since the main character had always kept a light on since early childhood when his mother got murdered in front of his eyes by this same ghost . The jarring stupidity of the movie , the characters , and even the ghost premise isn't saved by the gaps in logic ,no realistic character psychology or the ghost's purposeless and unexplained self resurection which forces the hero to destroy it ....again , mere seconds after he did so the first time .

And then there's Eight Legged Freaks , a vomit inducing bag of predictability , mental lobotomy , and any lack of satire in this self dubed "satire" .

Sorry for taking over the helm there , but when I see a horrible movie , I review it . I have a full review of both these shitfests on my other computer , if anyone wants .

Finaly , what do you think were the lamest animal horror movies out there ? I must have seen like ten by now . All were stupid , but this one had this huge computer generated spider tarantula in it and that was kind of scary , but all the rest , being aligators , fish , ants , etc. are realy just all the same movie .


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## MartialHorror (Jan 30, 2010)

Frozenfishsticks: Dont think so, is that a request?

Lobolover: No worries, I like when people give out their opinions as well. "Darkness Falls" had some good directing, a great opening, but as you pretty much say: A useless and cliched script. Eight Legged Freaks has always been a mixed bag for me. At times, I really enjoy it. Other times though.....it annoys me. 

Lamest animal movie............................."Great White", "Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws"(which is a bit funny though), "Lake Placid 2" and some movie about killer Frogs might be up there.....There are so many lame animal horror films though that its impossible to find the lamest....I can only point out the good ones.....


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## San Juan Wolf (Jan 30, 2010)

For eight legged freaks , I find it awkward how the only time something parodical happens (Jason pops up) it lasts for two seconds . And the black ufo nut radio guy . And the gold mine sup plot .

Another thing : Just asking , but have you ever seen The Core ? I know it's scifi , but I'm just curious .

Incidently , I watched a lame one about an aligator some time ago . Had a sherif and local crocodile farmer try and help a bunch of kids to stupid to stay inland and keep clean of the water , but in the end after all the hype they do nothing and get killed after five minutes being on the spot , without having called the authorities beforehand .

And there was that one about sharks , that are inteligent , where there is an anoying black guy and the shark actualy eats a parrot - which is something I can't forgive it . Same with the aligator movie where all I cared about was if the dog was gonna make it - he did .


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## MartialHorror (Jan 30, 2010)

Yeah I have, but I dont remember much. I remember thinking it was kind of lame and Hillary Swank(I think) did petty bad acting wise.


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## San Juan Wolf (Jan 30, 2010)

I cant tell about the acting because I watch these movies dubbed .

Saym you ever saw a Criswell movie ?


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## MartialHorror (Jan 30, 2010)

Not that I know of.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 31, 2010)

*Edge of Darkness(2010)* - Mel Gibson stars as a detective who must track down his daughters killers, and this leads him to a Government conspiracy. Standard thriller, but the acting sure is great! link

2.5/4


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## San Juan Wolf (Jan 31, 2010)

There's this one called Dance of the Ghouls , I think it's called , where all it is is people dancing while Criswell makes some wise cracks .

And then there'sPlan 9 . Hey , it's got zombies and vampires , it counts !


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## MartialHorror (Jan 31, 2010)

Oh yeah, he's the guy who helped Ed Wood....


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## San Juan Wolf (Jan 31, 2010)

Yes, the briliant poet who said "Future events such as these will affect you in the future" .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2010)

NOTICE: Just so you guys know, Chee has amped up my site again.....It looks better and better.

*Thirst(2009)* - A Korean vampire film, directed from the guy who did "Oldboy". A Priest becomes a vampire during a failed attempt to cure a disease, and finds himself feeling....urges. Filled with themes such as love, death, guilt and redemption, one can't help but feel it's very Scorsese-ish. Great and complex characters have complex relationships, and in the end, you will feel bad for EVERYONE. But I should warn you, this is a drama....Not a horror film. It's a mature version of "Twilight" and "Let the Right One In", and much better than both. link

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Feb 4, 2010)

Never heard of Thirst before, but if that one guy did it...


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## Chee (Feb 4, 2010)

I've heard of it before, just never rented it. Guess I'll go do so now.


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## CrazyMoronX (Feb 4, 2010)

You damn-well better.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2010)

JUST REMEMBER ITS A VAMPIRE-DRAMA! lol.


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 4, 2010)

Just so you guys know , I saw Plan 9 today. And it's every bitlike the comercials say . I mentioned the things that bugged me in the movie rating thread .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2010)

lol, still wanna see it.


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## Chee (Feb 4, 2010)

Martial, I got that the first time.


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## CrazyMoronX (Feb 5, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> JUST REMEMBER ITS A VAMPIRE-DRAMA! lol.


 Wait, what? Korean-based Twilight? No thanks,


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 5, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, still wanna see it.



No you don't .

Trust me , the film becomes boring prety fast . And it's wonderfull how the aliens come in completely unarmed and let three armed earthmen oboard their ship . In the end , the alien guy actualy fights the earthman with his fists .

_Advanced alien civilisation....woooooooooo_

And the plot , of course , makes no sense . I love it how the army thinks it can keep the saucers a secret when they were seen over Hollywood and made front page news . Wow , the secret services realy suck at their job .

Stil , aparently the aliens believe that the people stil don't believe in their existence , so they plan to do the only thing logical - raise a bunch of zombies . Yeah , because nothing spells extraterestrial presence like a bunch of walking dead .


The rest is a repost from the rating thread .

"And how will a zombie exploding in front of people turn their atention elsewhere so they can go about resurecting more zombies ?

Third - I just couldn't help to think that this movie just .....ended without having a real ending . The zombies are stil lose  *, they have no aparent way to beat em and the aliens may well send in more ships after one got blown up and considering how desperately they want to stop the earthmen from geting that soltine or whatever the hell it's called . Yet they leave all of this completely unresolved . Nor did Criswell's words at the end "someone may pass you in the dark , and you will never know it , for they will be from outer space" make any sense . The aliens have not shown the least bit intention to infiltrate , they just sent zombies .

And Criswell.......god , I never heard someone emphasise the wrong words in every sentence they say before and I doubt I ever will again ."

* Not 100 % sure about that cause I wasn't paying atention by the end of the movie .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 5, 2010)

Lobolover: Trust me, Im used to shit movies. It's just a matter of if they entertain me. Hell,I love Carnosaur.

CrazymoronX: A good version of Twilight.......


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 5, 2010)

As I saud I don't think that'll happen . The movie is confusing , oftentimes boring , and the only thing that can distract you from the tedium is Tor Johnson , as one of the creepiest motherfuckers you are ever likely to see . But he's so under utilised and because of the budget they can't even show him actualy killing someone . Hell they don't show anyone being killed , they just black out when the zombie apears and the people start screaming and you see them lying on the ground next , with not an ounce of shed blood or their clothes torn . Yet stil the doctor remarks they were as if "torn up" by a wild cat .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 5, 2010)

lol, sounds awful, but I actually will be interested in watching movies I know I'll hate. Cant appreciate the good ones without the bad ones, I always say.

Hell, I rented Howling 2.....now if you want a great horrible turd movie, you should watch that one.


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 5, 2010)

For real horror bullshit I think I'll stick to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 11, 2010)

*Resident Evil: Extinction(2008)* - Alice(heroine from the previous 2 films) wanders in a post-apocalyptic world full of zombies. When she finds a group of survivors, she is determined to help them. It's the best of the "Resident Evil" trilogy, although I kept wondering where the hell the 'lickers' were......link

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 12, 2010)

*The Wolfman(2010)* - A man returns to his hometown in 9th century England, only to fall victim to a werewolf. He survives, but becomes a werewolf as well. Simply put: Best horror film scene in years, combining the tools of modern day filmmaking with a sense of nostalgia of the old Universal/Hammer horror films. Amazing. Link removed

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2010)

*The Perfect Getaway(2009)* - A couple meets up with another couple in Hawaii as they go on a hike. But when they learn that a couple was brutally murdered by another couple, they begin to suspect each other as the murderous couple. Nifty thriller full of suspense, nice photography and solid acting(Timothy Oliphant steals the show and is surprisingly badass). The twist is good, but it leads to some piss poor characterizations that doesn't work. NOT A FULL REVIEW.

3/4


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 14, 2010)

Just worth to mention I saw Little Shop of Horrors . A lot more interesting then Plan 9 . I realy liked the dentist character , he was so out there it was a pleasure to watch , but I got realy anoyed cause he got killed in the first half hour .

And I realy didn't like the main character . He's just to uninteresting compared to other characters .

Also , there was aparently a musical made after the movie .....and a movie made after the musical.....and a cartoon show made after the second movie .

And just like with the Police Academy cartoon I have to ask What ?

I actualy saw alot of the Cinema Snob's reviews , especialy of the movies you already reviewed . I was especialy curious about "Tales from the Quaded zone" .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2010)

lol, the Cinema Snob is pretty cool. Speaking of which...........I reviewed him on my youtube show.

*The Ghost Galleon(1974)* - Models have to be saved when they are stranged on a phantom ship carrying the blind dead in the middle of the ocean. Boring+ nonsensical+ bad special effects= not a movie I like. The third entry in the Blind Dead series that began with "Tombs of the Blind Dead" and "Return of the Evil Dead". Also known as "Horror of the Zombies". Link removed

1/4


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 14, 2010)

Sounds dumb .

Say , theres this old horror movie I can't remember the name of . About this spaceship possesed by evil after it goes outside of the universe which more or less posses the whole crew who come aboard it to investigat .....sound familiar ?

As to the cinema snob : I don't know if you have ever watched the nostalgia critic , but the two look alot alike , and both have prety much the same story when it comes to their career on youtube . I would wish that the cinema snob would actualy show more scenes from the movie with sound , just to let people sample the bad acting .

By the way , did you review Nail Gun Massacre ? I think you did .


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## masamune1 (Feb 14, 2010)

Lobolover said:


> Sounds dumb .
> 
> Say , theres this old horror movie I can't remember the name of . About this spaceship possesed by evil after it goes outside of the universe which more or less posses the whole crew who come aboard it to investigat .....sound familiar ?



_Event Horizon._

1997. That's not _that_ old is it?


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 14, 2010)

Around 13 years , so yeah , definitely not new .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2010)

lol, Event Horizon is like so many other Paul Anderson movies in that it could've been so much more.....................

Edit: Yeah, the NC is cool too. No, I didnt review Nail Gun Massacre.


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 15, 2010)

You did so many of the other things he did that it just kind of blends . The reason I asked is there is one thing puzzling me about that movie : how can you even kill anyone with a nail gun ? I didn't think the nails were shot at at _that _speed .

And yeah , but stil , it was better then that movie with Tom Hanks on Mars . It starts promising , with some force killing three astronauts and a giant face on the mars , but the ending is such diabetes inducing mush that it makes me sick every time I see it .


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## Vault (Feb 15, 2010)

> MOVIE OF THE WEEK: The Wolfman: This movie is an exciting, thrilling, chilling masterful horror film full of deep, interesting themes, likeable characters and a great non-CGI whoring Victorian England setting. DO NOT LET THIS MOVIE FLOP! THE FUTURE OF GOOD HORROR FILMS DEPENDS ON IT!



Wow a totally unnecessary jab at Sherlock Holmes, that whole night time chase in the city was cgi rendered you know that right? It looked better than holemes because it was night time. There is also a difference in settings, London at that period was very industrial so there was alot of chimneys with smoke everywhere and they tried to show that for the sake of authenticity thats why the whole of London got rendered completely since London looks a whole lot different than it used to as opposed to a small village in London where less than 500 people live in.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2010)

lobo: lol. I actually want to see it.......the hell is wrong with me?

Vault: I figured there was CGI there, but hell, even if it was night, I'm glad it didn't look too fake. I liked Sherlock Holmes, but the CGI-looking backdrop bugged me.


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## CodyEatsComets (Feb 15, 2010)

The Wolfman is NOT a 4/4, more like a 1.5.
It was stupid, cliche, and not frightening in the least.
What a piece of shit.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2010)

CodyEatsComets said:


> The Wolfman is NOT a 4/4, more like a 1.5.
> It was stupid, cliche, and not frightening in the least.
> What a piece of shit.



I dont mind you opposing my opinion, but you should try do support your opinions.

(for the record, I think I was overenthusiastic on it. I'd probably say I should change my rating to 3.5/4).


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## CodyEatsComets (Feb 15, 2010)

I did support it, but here's more.
Every non-werewolf scene was mind-numbingly boring. Like...god. All of these great actors and they can't even show it with such a shitty script. Hugo Weaving was good, though. 
The film attempted to scare the audience with loud noises and I could see every scare coming from a mile away. It even went to the point of using a goddamn fake scare, how cliche. 
The romance was totally slapped-on and stupid. The way SHE of all people kills him was so painful, like it left such a bad taste in my mouth.
The plot twist didn't make much sense either. How does some feral child induce a goddamn werewolf curse?
The psychologist talking while the binded Wolfman is roaring behind him was beyond retarded.
The mythology is randomly slapped on, with silver bullets and shit being incorporated for convenience. 
Oh, and the kung-fu wolfman fight? My god what was that. These are primal beasts, not Matrix stunt doubles.
Such a crappy film.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2010)

> I did support it, but here's more.
> Every non-werewolf scene was mind-numbingly boring.



In a review, you have to describe why a scene is boring, because what is boring to one person isn't boring to another. I think "2001: A Space Odyssey" is boring. Most think it's great. I never found this remake to be boring.

If you want to call something boring, you need to give good reasons why. Example, I call Ghost Galleon boring. Why? The stalk sequences and kill sequences are overlong. Why does Wolf-Man bore you?



> Like...god. All of these great actors and they can't even show it with such a shitty script. Hugo Weaving was good, though.



People seem mixed on the acting.



> The film attempted to scare the audience with loud noises and I could see every scare coming from a mile away. It even went to the point of using a goddamn fake scare, how cliche.



Another subjective criticism. What doesn't scare us will bore us. "Paranormal Activity" has been lauded like mad crazy. But it seems to either scare you, or bore you.



> The romance was totally slapped-on and stupid. The way SHE of all people kills him was so painful, like it left such a bad taste in my mouth.



-I wouldn't say it was slapped on as much as it was undeveloped. 



> The plot twist didn't make much sense either. How does some feral child induce a goddamn werewolf curse?



-Er, so you expect a movie to spell out every little turn and twist to you? Who knows how the kid got it. How was the curse invented to begin with? The characters won't be able to find that out, so why should we?



> The psychologist talking while the binded Wolfman is roaring behind him was beyond retarded.



Wasn't roaring but okay.......



> The mythology is randomly slapped on, with silver bullets and shit being incorporated for convenience.



- Might as well criticize the original for that too. 



> Oh, and the kung-fu wolfman fight? My god what was that. These are primal beasts, not Matrix stunt doubles.
> Such a crappy film.



- kung fu? You're grasping for straws now.


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## Vault (Feb 16, 2010)

CodyEatsComets said:


> The Wolfman is NOT a 4/4, more like a 1.5.
> It was stupid, cliche, and not frightening in the least.
> What a piece of shit.



Hahahaha you are bugging  

That movie was excellent. im sorry i dont know what type f movies you watchbut that movie was amazing


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## CodyEatsComets (Feb 16, 2010)

> In a review, you have to describe why a scene is boring, because what is boring to one person isn't boring to another. I think "2001: A Space Odyssey" is boring. Most think it's great. I never found this remake to be boring.
> 
> If you want to call something boring, you need to give good reasons why. Example, I call Ghost Galleon boring. Why? The stalk sequences and kill sequences are overlong. Why does Wolf-Man bore you?[/quote/
> It bored me because most of the dialogue was generic as hell and the characters were one dimensional and thus I couldn't get emotionally invested.
> ...


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## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2010)

> It bored me because most of the dialogue was generic as hell and the characters were one dimensional and thus I couldn't get emotionally invested.



- Fair enough, but you should consider what you said. Those aspects bored YOU, not me nor most people. But this isn't a criticism you can force onto other people. 




> Exactly, Paranormal Activity wasn't scary, but I guess I can slightly understand the responses to it. Every attempted scare in this film has been ten thousand times over in other movies.



- Same with every horror film. Do you think "Halloween" was new in its scares? It used tricks from other movies(Black Christmas, Touch of Evil, Bava, Argento, etc), its just a question of if its done effectively.

Most people love Halloween, but look at all the detractors criticisms....Everyone who dislikes that movie finds it boring. So once again, fear is subjective. (For the record, I did find Paranormal activity to be pretty scary).



> The most romance they shared was throwing rocks durrr durrrr



-To be fair, I saw their romance as one that probably would've grew into one if they had more time. Im fine with that, and even if it was slightly rushed, I can see why(since fear can do that to you). Personally, this didnt bug me because it didn't take that much time. 



> Well at least make sense. The kid didn't even look like a werewolf, Jesus. I don't mind ambiguity, just at least make sense.



- Maybe he was a half-wolf? Who knows. It didn't bother me.



> Were you even paying attention to that scene? He was roaring and growling and making the most beastly noises and the psychologist continues to act like everything is okey dokey.



- There is a difference between growling and roaring. Yes, but you know that humans can do crazy stuff with their voices if they're that crazy. People can even use 2 voices at once. I was more confused as to why it took him so long to notice based on the others reactions more than the growls.



> But the original didn't mention the primary technique of killing the werewolf via some drunks in a bar.



- Why not some drunks in a bar? They'd likely know about the superstitions more than anyone. 



> Wolves don't slide like agents in the Matrix nor jump around with blatant choreographed moves, why do these werewolves do that?



- Wolves also don't stand on two feat. They do not go by our nature.


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## CodyEatsComets (Feb 16, 2010)

I seriously pity anyone who was frightened by Paranormal Activity, lol.
Ok, a review is a personal evaluation, and I can tell you right now every non werewolf scene was a drag.
Well, Wolfman was not effective. If this movie were as scary as the Wolfman Halloween Horror Nights House, this would've been amazing.
Fear doesn't make people all lovey dovey, what in god's name are you babbling about?
It bothered me because it was a half-assed plot twist.
...people can have two voices simultaneously? Please refer me to such a phenomenon. And if something was growling behind you, I'm pretty sure you'd notice. But wait, this movie sucks, so it makes characters stupid for the sake of the plot.
But the fact that silver can kill the werewolf isn't a superstition in the film's universe.
The wolves weren't doing crazy kung-fu moves while killing the poor humans, why are they morphing into Bruce Lee when they fight each other?
Oh, that's right, this movie sucks.


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 17, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> lobo: lol. I actually want to see it.......the hell is wrong with me?



Be prepared for mushiness of Titanical proportions .

Seriously , I haven't seen such a promising set up wasted since The Crimson Rivers . Legendary horror material reduced to half brained "revenge for past ills" crap in an instant .

Speaking of Reno , I know these aren't horror movies , but have you seen any of the original two The Visitors movies ? Because if you have , you might have stumbled upon the stupid as hell remake from 2001 , taking place in america .


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## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2010)

Lobo: Nope, havent seen them. 



> I seriously pity anyone who was frightened by Paranormal Activity, lol.



Just remember that most people love Paranormal Activity. 


> Ok, a review is a personal evaluation, and I can tell you right now every non werewolf scene was a drag.



And I can tell you right now every they weren't. So......




> Well, Wolfman was not effective. If this movie were as scary as the Wolfman Halloween Horror Nights House, this would've been amazing.



But it was to me, a die hard horror fan. 



> Fear doesn't make people all lovey dovey, what in god's name are you babbling about?



You haven't read many post apocalyptic books, have you? In short, people don't want to die alone, so when death approaches, they often will reach out to the closest person to them.



> It bothered me because it was a half-assed plot twist.



Well, didnt bug me. I thought it added mystery. 



> ...people can have two voices simultaneously? Please refer me to such a phenomenon. And if something was growling behind you, I'm pretty sure you'd notice. But wait, this movie sucks, so it makes characters stupid for the sake of the plot.



To be honest, Im having trouble finding the source(still looking). Anyway, imagine your a doctor and your insane patient thinks he's a wolf. Why wouldn't he growl?

Especially as he probably ranted about his Father being a werewolf as a kid.



> But the fact that silver can kill the werewolf isn't a superstition in the film's universe.



Er, yes, yes it is. Apparently based on fact within the film.



> The wolves weren't doing crazy kung-fu moves while killing the poor humans, why are they morphing into Bruce Lee when they fight each other?
> Oh, that's right, this movie sucks.



Dear Lord, they never do any kung fu. They dont kick, they dont punch. They just throw eachother, claw eachother and at one point, one jumps off a wall to get momentum.

The reason why they killed the humans so easily is that A) they caught them off guard B) Were at high speeds when they killed them. 

Once again, your grasping for straws.


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## San Juan Wolf (Feb 18, 2010)

That remake was literaly the personalised pointless sequel . It was a remake that did not fit into the continuity , rewriting everything from the past two movies and taking place in america instead of France .


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## CodyEatsComets (Feb 18, 2010)

> Just remember that most people love Paranormal Activity.


"Die-hard" horror fans sure as hell don't.




> And I can tell you right now every they weren't. So......


They were boring for:
1. Characterizations comprised of weird Freudian archetypes and one dimensional traits.
2. Most conversation was droll and overly contrived. 
I only enjoyed the scenes with Hugo Weaving. Maybe this film wouldn't have sucked as bad if he were the main character.



> But it was to me, a die hard horror fan.


And what the hell kind of awful horror films do you like?
GOOD horror would be REC, The Ring, 28 Days Later, etc. Most horror films suck nowadays, just for the very same reasons this film sucked.




> You haven't read many post apocalyptic books, have you? In short, people don't want to die alone, so when death approaches, they often will reach out to the closest person to them.


Except this isn't post apocalyptic. The love story is slapped on in a very poor attempt to pry sympathy from the audience, and it failed horribly.



> Well, didnt bug me. I thought it added mystery.


I'm not very good at letting nonsensical plot twists slip on by.




> To be honest, Im having trouble finding the source(still looking). Anyway, imagine your a doctor and your insane patient thinks he's a wolf. Why wouldn't he growl?


And here's the thing, there's MORE MORE MORE than enough evidence to suggest to this doctor that he was actually feral. People talk about these damn werewolves all throughout the movie, people have seen the wolves, my god, the main character was covered with blood and his shirt was ripped off. And to make matters even more obvious, blood and guts and cuts are always strewn everywhere. I can understand skepticism, but if anything this doctor is the biggest moron on the face of the earth. 



> Especially as he probably ranted about his Father being a werewolf as a kid.



Again with the weird Freudian archetypes.



> Er, yes, yes it is. Apparently based on fact within the film.


Not a superstition if it's fact.





> Dear Lord, they never do any kung fu. They dont kick, they dont punch. They just throw eachother, claw eachother and at one point, one jumps off a wall to get momentum.
> The reason why they killed the humans so easily is that A) they caught them off guard B) Were at high speeds when they killed them.
> 
> Once again, your grasping for straws.


I don't really wish to ever see this disgrace of a shit again, but I'm willing to rewatch that damn scene just to verify that these werewolves were flipping around like Crouching Werewolf, Hidden Stupid.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2010)

> Die-hard" horror fans sure as hell don't.



Yes, yes they do.



> They were boring for:
> 1. Characterizations comprised of weird Freudian archetypes and one dimensional traits.
> 2. Most conversation was droll and overly contrived.
> I only enjoyed the scenes with Hugo Weaving. Maybe this film wouldn't have sucked as bad if he were the main character.



Good job at defending your opinion here, but once again, I(and many others) dont agree with you.



> And what the hell kind of awful horror films do you like?
> GOOD horror would be REC, The Ring, 28 Days Later, etc. Most horror films suck nowadays, just for the very same reasons this film sucked.



I liked all of those(although I always felt 28 Days Later was a bit overrated). Other recent examples I liked were Daybreakers, The Mist and the Descent. Most horror films out there are moderately negative or positive. Most of the ones that suck, suck because they are PG-13 remakes, tired J-Horror remakes and Saw clones.

They jsut want to join the trend for some money so no effort goes into them.




> Except this isn't post apocalyptic. The love story is slapped on in a very poor attempt to pry sympathy from the audience, and it failed horribly.



The post apocalyptic thing was just an example dude......



> And here's the thing, there's MORE MORE MORE than enough evidence to suggest to this doctor that he was actually feral. People talk about these damn werewolves all throughout the movie, people have seen the wolves, my god, the main character was covered with blood and his shirt was ripped off. And to make matters even more obvious, blood and guts and cuts are always strewn everywhere. I can understand skepticism, but if anything this doctor is the biggest moron on the face of the earth.



Yes, a Doctor would believe a bunch of peasants.......Let me ask you this. If a group of poor Arabs in the middle east claimed to have seen God directly, would you believe them? Hell, in the Bible there are people who DO see God directly, so do you believe them?

As for him being covered in blood, etc, you clearly overlooked the Jack the Ripper reference. Part of the subtext is that Jack the Ripper did ALOT of similar things that the Wolfman did. He tore off limbs, removed organs, and possibly even ate some of them(some organs were never found, but in a letter that may or may not have been written by him he claims to have eaten a kidney). He also did this in a short amount of time. 

The connections are obvious if you're familiar with the case(and the fact that they put in the same Inspector for no other reason than to stress this). 

I'm not saying the Doctor was smart. He was blinded by his limited understanding of things outside of facual science. It can be argued that this is more subtext, that people are often ignorant that "monsters"(like Jack the Ripper) could easily be right behind them. (I doubt that was the intent though.)




> Not a superstition if it's fact.



True, but if the few people who have encountered werewolves stress that silver kills them, the story becomes popular so everyone hears of it, but doesn't necessarily believe it.....then what's the problem? That kind of stuff probably happens all the time.

It has always been a trope in horror films that men of logic are shocked to find that what they dismissed as stupid superstitions is true. Once again, Wolfman is a throwback to the days of Hammer. In Hammer movies, there was always a man of logic who wouldn't believe in vampires or werewolves, only to be proven wrong and suddenly believe in the vampire/werewolf legends(Garlic being bad for vampires, etc).

You know, for a horror fan, you sure don't seem to know about horror of the past.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 20, 2010)

*Shutter Island(2010)* - Martin Scorsese kind of does a horror film about two marshalls investigating the mysterious disappearence of a patient in a mysterious insane asylum on a mysterious island. It's very mysterious, with a great cast, great visuals, spooky atmosphere, an awesome score, and it's very mysterious. Human Target S01E06 - Lockdown

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 21, 2010)

*The Stepfather(1987)* - Terry "John Locke" O'Quinn stars as the stepfather of a rebellious teen. Unfortunately for her, he has a habit of killing his acquired family when they disappoint him. Intelligent and brutal, but also beautiful to look at. O'Quinn is amazing as the murderous stepfather. followed by two lesser sequels and a remake in 2009. Human Target S01E06 - Lockdown

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2010)

The Woodchipper Massacre(1988) - 1/4

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ_NT7ZUaw4[/YOUTUBE]


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2010)

*Resident Evil: Degeneration(2008)* - A CG(animated) movie about the popular video game. It's about Claire and Leon(from the games) as they continue their fight against the virus. It's both bad and good, unintelligent and very intelligent...But most of all, it probably wouldn't have worked well if it was a live action picture. No connection with Paul Anderson's trilogy. Human Target S01E06 - Lockdown

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2010)

*The Crazies(2010)* - A small town is overrun by a virus that turns people crazy, and the military, who intends to kill any potential carrier of the virus. It's entertaining and thrilling, but forgettable. Still better than Romero's 1973 film of the same name though. Cut!

2.5/4


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## Roy (Mar 2, 2010)

Have you done a review on Red Cliff, MH?


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## masamune1 (Mar 2, 2010)

> At one point, we learn some info about the virus that show certain characters can't have it, but later events contradict it when a character inevitably goes crazy. I was under the impression that he was simply going insane due to all the pressure they were going under, not anything to do with the disease itself. But they don't explain that, and you presume he must have the disease




*Spoiler*: __ 



I liked that ambiguity and I'm kind of glad they did'nt explain it. Now, I assume we are talking about the Deputy here- it was never said that _he_ could'nt have it, and when the government swoops in if you remember he was taken away immediately because they thought he had the disease. But I still like the fact that it is never really confirmed, partly I guess because it seems more believable,  that this character could on the one hand be infected but on the other handmight simply have snapped.

Also, there was a concern about halfway through that the virus might have went airborne, so any of them might have had it. And there was even a tease near the end when Rhada Mitchell drinks bottled water and you just can't be sure if that's infected either. There is nobody in the film who definitely _can't_ have it, hence the behavior of the military in the first place.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2010)

Roy: Not yet. netflix hasnt gotten it yet(I think its coming out this month though)

Masa: Good points. The question is if they made those bits intentionally ambiguous, or if the writing was lazy..........Either way, if you liked the way it went, then it doesn't really matter.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2010)

*Uncle Sam(1997)* - A soldier is killed in the gulf war, and 3 years later, his body is found. He rises from the dead, dresses in an Uncle Sam suit, and starts killing people who disrespect the Government......It takes itself too seriously, makes no sense, and you have to wait like an hour before shit begins to happen....Decent photography though.Cut!

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 9, 2010)

*The Haunting(1999)* - The pointless remake of the 1963 (overrated) classic has the same group of characters going to stay a few nights at a haunted house under false pretenses. Sacrifices mood and creepiness for the sake of lots of overblown(but surprisingly, not really dated considering it's a 90's film) CGI. The actors keep it interesting, however. Cut!

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 18, 2010)

*Bad Taste(1987)* - Peter Jackson's directorial debut has 4 military elites taking on a small army of aliens, who have taken over a new zealand town. Ultra low budget film is silly, absurd and gory as hell.....but Jackson actually creates some suspense out of it. Try this one

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 20, 2010)

*Repo Men(2010)* - overly arty film about Jude Law and Forest Whitaker as two repo men(in the future) who repo peoples artificial organs when they aren't payed for. Their friendship is tested when Law has to get an artificial heart and gets behind on the bills. Unoriginal, absurd and pretentious mess. Try this one

1.5/4


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## Chee (Mar 20, 2010)

How does he get behind on the bills? Doesn't the company he work for have health insurance coverage for their own employees?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 20, 2010)

Health insurance is never mentioned. He only gets money from repo-ing, which he cant do once he gets the transplant.


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## Chee (Mar 20, 2010)

That's retarded. I'm sure there would be company benefits.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2010)

*The Fog(1980)* - This cult classic by young John Carpenter is often remembered fondly among horror fans as not being up there with Carpenter's best films, but is still worth watching, and it certainly is. It's about a mysterious, evil fog full of pissed off ghosts attacking a coastal town. I find it to be creepy, maybe even scary. Directing wise, Carpenter is in top form. The script can't always keep up, but it's still a strong horror film. In 2005, there was a (crap) remake no one remembers. Sure why not

3.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Mar 25, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *Bad Taste(1987)* - Peter Jackson's directorial debut has 4 military elites taking on a small army of aliens, who have taken over a new zealand town. Ultra low budget film is silly, absurd and gory as hell.....but Jackson actually creates some suspense out of it. Sure why not
> 
> 2.5/4


Would you say the movie left a bad taste in your mouth?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2010)

Not really. I barely remembered it by the time it ended. In fact, I probably was being kind with the rating,.


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## Chee (Mar 25, 2010)

Bad Taste looks retarded.


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## typhoon72 (Mar 25, 2010)

Come on Martial, Repo Men was good. Well, at least you gotta admit it was one of the FEW movies that could have ever pulled off that ending.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2010)

Chee: That is because IT IS retarded. It is a film for people who have bad tastes, and as I said, I was probably too kind with the rating. The only thing impressive about it is what it accomplished with its budget.

Typhoon: I've seen that kind of ending before, albeit done more ambiguously. 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Minority Report may have ended like that, Once Upon a Time in America does it, That short movie where the dude is about to be hanged and dreams himself escaping does it,




The ending was cool, but the movie blew.


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## typhoon72 (Mar 25, 2010)

I liked it, but its definitely a movie I can see being hit or miss with a lot of people. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



Click had a similar ending but I hate that movie for the ending, it ruined the whole thing IMO. 

Repo had clues that got more and more out revealing as the movie was ending. Like the hall knife fight, kid shooting the mom, and the "happy ending" and he was walking around with a gash on his head


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## MartialHorror (Apr 1, 2010)

*Poltergeist 2: The Other Side(1986)* - The family from the first film continue to be hunted by poltergeists, and a Native American Shaman must save them. Lame sequel, although Julian Beck is great as the villain. Sure why not

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 3, 2010)

*The Fog(2005)* - An island is overrun by ghost pirates who lurk in the fog. This remake of Carpenter's 1981 classic, "The Fog", somehow manages to make the weaknesses of the original more apparent, while toning down the strengths. One of the worst of the modern day remakes out there, and that says a lot. Link removed

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 4, 2010)

*Alien Raiders(2008)* - When terrorists/robbers take over a grocery store, it's soon determined that they're actually hunting human-disguised aliens. It's a sci-fi original, but it's surprisingly good. Link removed

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2010)

*Trick 'r Treat(2008) *- This anthology horror film focuses on 4 different tales: One about a serial killer principal, one about a virgin being stalked by a vampire, one about a group of kids investigating a legend and one about a grumpy old man being attacked by the trick r treater from hell. It's not for everyone. In fact, its not so much a movie as it is a bunch of scary scenes mixed with black comedy put into a feature film. I loved it, but that doesn't mean you will. Link removed

3.5/4


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## Momoka (Apr 6, 2010)

Guess they don't sound too bad (some of them). I guess I'll check it


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## beautiful scorpio (Apr 8, 2010)

People should def check out

Pulse: The Japanese version
Ichi The killer
Kill Bill Vol 1-2: I know almost everyone has seen it before, but if you haven't you should def check it out.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 8, 2010)

yup, I agree.

*The Toxic Avenger(1984)* - A nerd gets thrown in toxic waste and becomes a monster/superhero, vowing to rid his town of crime. It's bad, REALLY bad, but it's also intentionally bad, so it's funny. But if bad is bad for you, don't bother. It is very creative with its gory kills though. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 13, 2010)

*Demons(1985)* - Lamberto Bava's most popular, gory, stylish and maybe even best film is either your typical nonsensical, aburd, stylish, Italian splatterfest, or it is a satire of said films. Either way, it sure is a lot of fun as it is full of creativity, style and energy. It's about a group of people(including a blind dude, lol) going to see a horror movie at a mysterious theater about demons, only for the movie they're watching to come to life, as demons attack the humans who are trapped within the theater. Produced by Dario Argento and written by Dardano Saccheti(who wrote many Lucio Fulci classics). Also known as Demoni and it was foillowed up by an official sequel and a slew of unofficial ones(often made from the same director). Link removed

3/4


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## Chee (Apr 13, 2010)

Martial has his big HTML pants on now, I'm so proud.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 15, 2010)

*The Abominable Snowman(1957)* - Peter Cushing and Forrest Tucker hunt down the infamous yeti in the himalayas. This early Hammer Horror film is competant, but bland. Will there ever be a great Yeti movie? Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 16, 2010)

*Kick-Ass(2010)* - A teenager decides to become a costumed hero, but gets caught up in a war between a crime boss and a Father-daughter pair of vigilantes. It has well written characters filled with great actors, stylish and bloody action, funny comedy and it even turns out to be a suprisingly effective drama. If it can be compared to anything, it's Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds". Link removed

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 20, 2010)

*Creepshow(1982)* - Stephen King writes and George Romero directs this 5-story anthology film, that deals with murder, revenge from beyond the grave and supernatural forces beyond our comprehension. Besides the great talent behind the camera, there is also a big cast in front of the camera, including: Tom Adkins, Leslie Nielsen, Ted Hanson, Adrienne Barbeau, Hal Holbrook, E.G Marshall and more! Unfortunately, it wasnt all that it could've been. It has one great story, two good stories and two mediocre stories at best. Still, it's worth a watch for the stories that do work. Under the Red Hood Trailer!


3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2010)

*The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism(1967)* - Christopher Lee plays the titular character(although he's never referred to as such), a Lord who was executed 30 years prior for killing 12 virgins for a ritual sacrifice. Present time(still the victorian age), the descendants of the people who put him down are invited to his castle...where he is ready to be resurrected for his revenge. I know the title sounds silly, and the plot is pretty nonsensical, but it's a surprisingly strong gothic horror film. Think Hammer mixed with the horror of old Italy(before the gore age), mixed with the Spanish terrors of the "Blind Dead" films. Link removed

3.5/4 Stars


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## MartialHorror (Apr 24, 2010)

*Death Smiles on a Murderer(1973)* - A woman without a memory of her past stays with a wealthy couple, both of whom fall in love with her. Soon, people began to dying and the audience fights sleep. Boring, nonsensical, arty erotic-horror film that isn't really erotic or horrific. Directed by cult director Joe D'Amatio.  Link removed

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 25, 2010)

*Killshot(2008)* - Two hitmen attempt to pull a bribe and robbery, but get the wrong person, who promptly fights them off. So they decide to hunt down the person and his wife(who is enstranged), but the couple complicates things by entering a witness protection program. Pretty good thriller with a solid cast. NOT A FULL REVIEW.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 27, 2010)

*The Chair(2007) *- A girl with a history of mental illness stays at an old, abandoned house and begins to experience a haunting. Not bad for low budget fodder, but it's not really worth watching either. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 29, 2010)

*One Missed Call(2003)* - People recieve phone calls from the future accompanied by an odd ring tone, and hear themselves die. When they actually die, everyone in their phone list becomes the next target. This J-Horror is a complete rip-off of "The Ring", but director Takashi Miike keeps things stylish and creepy. Remade in 2008. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 1, 2010)

*A Nightmare on Elm Street(2010)* : A remake of Wes Craven's classic, the ghost of a child molestor hunts the dreams of teenagers. Not as good as the original, but it is better than most of the sequels. Jackie Earle Haley does well as Freddy and I hope to see him in future sequels. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 4, 2010)

*The Hills Run Red(2009)* - This gory splatter film is about a movie geek and his friends who are filming a documentary about a long lost slasher film in the woods, and then are tortured and/or killed by a masked killer. It offers lots of gore and boobs, but not much else. Link removed

2/4


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## Starstalker (May 6, 2010)

Hey Martial, did you check the movie Incubus?
I just saw it last night and I am not impressed. Would like to hear your opinion though.

By the way, there is this old film I want to watch and I can't seem to remember the name. It is about a mummy or a zombie or some shit that sucks the soul out of your asshole. Yep, it is as trash as it gets xD


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## MartialHorror (May 7, 2010)

So is that a request? I've heard of it, but didnt see it.

As for that movie, maybe Bubba Ho Tep(sp? I remember them talking about the Mummy doing that, but am not sure if it ever does)


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## MartialHorror (May 10, 2010)

*Alucarda(1978)* - A girl enters a nunnery in the early 1900's and befriends Alucarda, a strange, NOT-VAMPIRE, girl whose interest in the cult causes their souls to be tormented by Satan. It has violence, nudity, orgies, lesbians, atmosphere, creepy sets and strong photography: Yet all of this is eclipsed by the films bad acting and atrocious dialogue, which unfortunately the movie seems more interested in exploiting. It's a Mexican horror film. First Look at Peter Sarsgaard as hammond

1.5/4


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## Starstalker (May 10, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> So is that a request? I've heard of it, but didnt see it.
> 
> As for that movie, maybe Bubba Ho Tep(sp? I remember them talking about the Mummy doing that, but am not sure if it ever does)



Yep, it was Bubba Ho Tep.

Would really like to read your opinion on Incubus


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## Vanthebaron (May 10, 2010)

Of you like cyber punk movies watch the Armitage movies (poly martix and dual matrix). This is a request


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## MartialHorror (May 10, 2010)

Er, I only do requests of films that fit within the genre....Does it have any horror or martial arts elements?

(my reluctance to simply just do it regardless is that Im not a big fan of anime movies).


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## Vanthebaron (May 11, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Er, I only do requests of films that fit within the genre....Does it have any horror or martial arts elements?
> 
> (my reluctance to simply just do it regardless is that Im not a big fan of anime movies).



has some good fights in it...Rene is kind of scary, in a psychopathic way. It was influnced by Lovecrafets "The Dunwich Horror"


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## Starstalker (May 11, 2010)

Hey Martial,
Since we are both horror fans and you seem to really know what you are doing, you might just be able to help me out here.
Give me a couple of horror movies that scared the shit out you...I can't remember the last time I was afraid during a horror movie.


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## MartialHorror (May 11, 2010)

Van: Alright, then. 

Star: Ummm, that's a tough one. Keep in mind, few movies scare the shit out of me, generally they have parts that scare me. 

The Vanishing(Spoorloos, not the American remake), Alien, Audition, Black Christmas, Don't Look Now, Exorcist, Gates of Hell(City of the Living Dead), Jigoku, Kill Baby Kill, Pit and the Pendulum(The Price/Corman one), [Rec], The Return of Godzilla(this movie always creeps me out), Rogue(2007), Suspiria, A Tale of Two Sisters, Them(2007), Tombs of the Blind dead.

As I said, some of these movies just scared me in parts, some are also kind of slow.


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## Starstalker (May 11, 2010)

Great, will check them


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## MartialHorror (May 15, 2010)

*Dracula Has Risen From the Grave(1968)* - Christopher Lee returns as Dracula in Hammer's 4th Dracula entry, resurrected and intending to get his revenge on the man who exorcised his castle by seducing his niece. Very creepy movie, combining the lighting of Italian horror with the gothic imagery of English Hammer horror. bag filter

3.5/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (May 16, 2010)

I'd like to request a review of Luther the Geek, kind sir.

Also Uninvited (1988), for the killer cat crowd.


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## MartialHorror (May 16, 2010)

Unfortunately, netflix doesnt have the Uninvited. looks like the other is there.

FYI, it might take a bit longer for any requests. The DVD I just recieved from netflix has a crapload of Frankenstein movies. In fact, after "Lifeforce", you can call this Frankenstein week, lol.


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## Starstalker (May 16, 2010)

Martial, the name is ''The tale of two sisters.''


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## MartialHorror (May 16, 2010)

No, it's "A Tale of Two Sisters".

Not sure what you're responding too.


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## Starstalker (May 16, 2010)

A fail -.-
I am just way too tierd

Responding to Charcan. There is no movie by the name ''Uninvited'' from 1988


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## MartialHorror (May 16, 2010)

Might be wrong on the date, but there is a movie called the Uninvited w/ killer cats. Netflix has it doublebilled with "Mutant". Although it's only there in the "Saved" section.


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (May 17, 2010)

Starstalker said:


> A fail -.-
> I am just way too tierd
> 
> Responding to Charcan. There is no movie by the name ''Uninvited'' from 1988





MartialHorror said:


> Might be wrong on the date, but there is a movie called the Uninvited w/ killer cats. Netflix has it doublebilled with "Mutant". Although it's only there in the "Saved" section.





That's the one. It's just one cat, but it packs a bite.


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## MartialHorror (May 18, 2010)

*Son of Frankenstein(1938)* - Frankensteins run returns to his Fathers estate, only to see that the Monster is still alive, but in a coma. He decides to resurrect the beast, tame it, and clear his Fathers name. While generally thought to be the weakest of the trilogy, it benefits from well written characters and great actors. Watching Boris Karloff(known for being Frankenstein's Monster), Bela Lugosi(known as the original Dracula) and Basil Rathbone(known as the original Sherlock Holmes) duke it out is worth it alone. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2010)

*The Ghost of Frankenstein(1942)* - Ygor(Bela Lugosi) survives the events of the first film, and when Frankensteins castle is finally destroyed, he finds the body of the monster(this time played by Lon "The Wolf-Man" Chaney Jr). Together they seek out Frankenstein's other son, in order to repair the Monsters mind and body. All around, it's just bland. Lon Chaney Jr. is boring as the monster, and the actors lack chemistry overall. It does sport some nify ideas though. HUGE

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 24, 2010)

*Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed(1968)* - The 5th entry in the Hammer Frankenstein series has Dr. Frankenstein(Peter Cushing) becoming more and more vile as he blackmails a couple into helping him with his experiment. The movie had lots of inserted subplots and scenes not found in the original script, making it feel kind of badded. But there are plenty of suspensful sequences and we finally get to see how detestable Frankenstein can become. Some consider this to be the best in the Hammer Frankenstein series. I don't, but it's still pretty good. Link to his tweet

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 25, 2010)

*Universal Soldier: Regeneration(2009)* - Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren reprise their roles in this third entry in the official Universal Story trilogy. JCVD is sent to retrieve hostages and kill terrorists, whose trumpcards are not only Lundgren, but an even bigger threat as well. Good action, poor plotting and despite being the main character, JCVD feels like a subplot....and Lundgren is barely in it at all. Unanswered LOST questions.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 3, 2010)

*I Know What You Did Last Summer(1997) *- Four teens involved in a hit-and-run are harassed and hunted by someone who knows their secret. It's the type of movie that "Scream" made fun of. Ironically, these two movies share the same writer. It's poorly written, has no gore, nudity or anything that makes it good. It does sport a nice cast though, but not nice enough to redeem the movie. Superman/Batman Annual 4 preview

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 5, 2010)

*Splice(2009)* - Two scientists splice in the DNA of a human and animal and get.....an odd creature who can be innocent or violent. I thought it was kind of bland....Nothing new. Superman/Batman Annual 4 preview

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2010)

*Incubus(2006)* - Tara Reid and a bunch of youngsters get lost in the woods and shack up in an old abandoned laboratory. This direct-to-DVD horror film is bad, but does benefit from nice photography....Which to me, is what all horror films need to survive. Superman/Batman Annual 4 preview

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 16, 2010)

*Lifeforce(1985)* - A doomed crew brings a naked space vampire to earth, who wrecks havoc on the poor humans by draining their life forces. It's a mess, feeling like multiple movies spliced into one. But the high production values and director Tobe Hooper's visual style keep it from being a complete bust. Moff's law

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2010)

*Jonah Hex(2010)* - An outlaw hunts down the man who took his family and scarred his face. While the cast does good and it moves quickly, the style is standard and the script is uninspired. Low brow entertainment at its finest.....which doesn't say much. Moff's law

2/4


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## Yasha (Jun 19, 2010)

Martial, have you seen ?


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2010)

Nope. Never even heard of it.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 24, 2010)

*Shocker(1989)* - Wes Craven directs this wildly uneven film about a serial killer haunting the dreams of a college student until he's executed, then his soul starts jumping bodies before he decides to take over the world of TV to kill more people. It makes no sense, but Craven injects the film with creativity and energy. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 27, 2010)

*Orphan(2009)* - A troubled couple adopt an Orphan girl who seem perfect, but is actually homicidal. A well made but conventional "killer-kid" horror film. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 28, 2010)

THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN RE-WRITTEN AND RE-UPLOADED

*And Then There Were None(1945)* - A group of strangers are invited to a remote island where they will stay the weekend at a lovely mansion. But they all have dark secrets that someone knows about, and then the guests start dying...A superb murder mystery that while silly at times, is always captivating and keeps you guessing until the end. Based on the book, "10 Little Indians" by Agatha Christie, although it's mostly adapted from the stage play. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 4, 2010)

*The Twilight Saga: Eclipse(2010)* - Bella continues her love triangle while Victoria creates an army to hunt her down. The series has evolved from not just being bad, but also redundant, as most of this movie was covered in the previous film. Hey, It's That Guy!

1.5/4


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## Shoddragon (Jul 4, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *And Then There Were None(1945)* - A group of strangers are invited to a remote island where they will stay the weekened at a lovely mansion. But they all have dark secrets that someone knows about, and then the guests start dying.....A superb murder mystery that while silly at times, is always captivating and keeps you guessing until the end. Based on the book, "10 Little Indians" by Agatha Christie, which was also adapted into a play(this this borrows from a bit more). Hey, It's That Guy!
> 
> 3.5/4




sounds like one of the dark brothergood missions in Oblivion. where all the guests have wronged the same 1 person in some way, so you go inside with the guests pretending to help them look for a treasure but instead you kill them one by one.was this movie the inspiration I wonder?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 4, 2010)

Maybe, but I've never played it.

Oddly though, there is a game directly based off the movie.


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## Shoddragon (Jul 4, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Maybe, but I've never played it.
> 
> Oddly though, there is a game directly based off the movie.



directly?? what is it?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 5, 2010)

I believe it has the same name and was made for the computer.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2010)

*Predators(2010)* - A group of dangerous humans with diverse background find themselves in the jungle on an alien planet, being hunted by the alien predators. This sequel to "Predator" is a bloody, thrilling and entertaining action film. Not as scary as the original, but better than the other sequels. Morrison and Waid talking about the time they met superman

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2010)

*Scream(1996)* - A masked killer calls his victims and toys with them before murdering him. His next target is a high school girl whose Mother was brutally murdered only a year before. It is a satire of slashers while mostly being a slasher. This trend was super popular in the 90's, but got stale fast. While it is perhaps too clever, it is a pretty intelligent slasher with some good suspense. [/QUOTE]

3/4


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## masamune1 (Jul 12, 2010)

[/QUOTE]



> *Predator*
> 
> My own criticisms are mostly minor and not many. I didn't really get how Dutch was able to figure out that the alien was killing for sport. There was never any proof of that. There are a few blatant continuity errors(One character is clearly shot in the head in one scene, but when we see his body later, it appears he was shot in the chest). Finally, was it just me or was the aliens plasma gun not always consistent. Sometimes it will blow a giant hole in them and sometimes it's much more clean. You can't even tell one person died until you realize that his fate is never brought up afterwards(although you might see his skull later, there is some dispute about that). But as I said, these criticisms are minor and because the movie moves so fast, you might miss them.



1) The Predator came back for the body. That's how they deduced it was killing for sport, as well as the sheer brutality and sadism of his kills, icluding the fact that it was picking them off one by one, and the fact that Anna says it has been doing this for a few years. Dutch was'nt the only one who said it was killing either- Anna says her people call it "the demon that makes trophies of men" and Billy says it's acting like a hunter. 

2) The plasma gun probably just has different settings.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2010)

Hmmmm, good point on the the 'sport' thing. As for the gun, I've actually heard that it might do dmg based on how much it's charged. I wasn't aware of that when I wrote the review.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2010)

*Inception(2010)* - A man who can steal ideas in dreams thanks to the advanced technology takes a job where he must plant an idea instead. Not as easy as it sounds. Filled with spectacular special effects that have relevance to the story and characters, gorundbreaking stylish visuals, well written characters that you become attached to and a challenging story, "Inception" is a downright superb movie. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2010)

*The Breed(2006)* - Michelle Rodriguez and her College(lol....) friends go to a remote island to party, but find themselves attacked by vicious and super intelligent dogs. It's a very substandard movie that sometimes becomes nonsensical, but it is kind of fun and props to the movie for using very little CGI. Wes Craven is executive producer. 

2/4


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## San Juan Wolf (Jul 23, 2010)

I would be interested if you ever reviewed/considered revieweing "The Room" . You know , the child of actor , writer , director , producer and executive producer Tommy "I dod naht hit her , I did naht , oh hi Mark" Wisseau ?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2010)

lol, no and never. well, maybe not never.....but it's not compatible with what I review. 

It looks craptastic though.


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## San Juan Wolf (Jul 23, 2010)

It's a black comedy

and it's certainly horrifying 

"You are teehring me apart Lisa !"

I sugest you go to youtube and look up the nostalgia critic's review of it . It's not on his site now because Wissea films bitched about it - and the critic responded by doing a mock sketch of that - you gotta see that one too !


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2010)

lol, yeah, saw the critics review. The Cinema Snobs sketh was pretty hilarious as well.


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## San Juan Wolf (Jul 23, 2010)

Have not seen that (have rather watched his drinking a four year old Coca Cola Blak) but whatever .

Also the guy aparently wants to make a cartoon and game based on _The Room_ and has been inspired by Twilight (!) to do a vampire movie .

Let that last bit sink in .


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2010)

lol.......the dude is mad I tell you. MAD!

But in all honesty, he might fit in with the vampire craze.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 26, 2010)

*Scream 2(1997)* - The survivors of the first film are plagued by another ghost-faced serial killer on a college campus. While technically inferior than the first, I like it just as much due to the strong cast and likeable characters. The slasher movie homages are more focused and more effective as well. It's too bad Craven's direction is less effective. I'll make a troll out of you.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2010)

*Lost Boys: The Tribe(2008) *- This sequel to "The Lost Boys" has a brother whose sister is turned into a vampire by a gang of partying vampires. He seeks out a vampire hunter (Corey Feldman), who helps them track the gang down. Crappy sequel that shows blatant influences from "Twilight".  It also feels like it belongs in the 80's. Some decent gore/ nudity and Corey Feldman is pretty fun. Not enough to save it though. Karkat's True Blood Color

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 2, 2010)

*Cape Fear(1962)* - A rapist is released from jail, armed with great physical strength, intelligence and the knowledge to manipulate the law. He decides to use these tools to get back at the man who sent him to jail, by making his wife and daughter his next victims. Robert Mitchum is terrifying as the villain, and Gregory Peck is intense as our hero. Watching these two duke it out, physically and intellectually, is worth watching this for alone. But it is a stunningly made thriller that feels very Hitchcockian. Lord English's true form revealed?

4/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Aug 12, 2010)

_And we'll all stick... to-gether... *Society *waits for you..._ 

Brian Yuzna.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 12, 2010)

lol, which movie? I've only seen a few of his works.


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Aug 13, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, which movie? I've only seen a few of his works.



Society. Have you watched it? I did a long time ago but it caught my notice again recently and discovered I barely remembered much of it at all. Worked out just fine, like when I discovered years later that The Thing I watched in TV the first time had censorship in some of the body horror scenes.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 13, 2010)

No, at least not that I know of.


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Aug 14, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> No, at least not that I know of.



Well, you should. Appease the Body Horror Gods.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2010)

lol, maybe

*The Expendables(2010)* - Ever wanted to see Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Couture, Eric Roberts, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the same movie? An action movie? This delivers. It's about a group of mercs having to take out a ruthless dictator in South America. Bloody, gritty and extreme action ensues. It's a hardcore action film for hardcore action fans. Link removed

3.5/4


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## Yasha (Aug 14, 2010)

Why is _The Expendables_ in the horror movies thread? Is it that horrible?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2010)

haha, no. Im pretty loose in both threads(ex: A movie with fighting might be reviewed in the martialarts thread).

The Expendables only made it here because it's gory as hell, horrific in its violence, if you will. And gore and horror are often associated.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 19, 2010)

*The Ghost and the Darkness(1996)* - Val Kilmer plays an Engineer hired to build a bridge in Tsavo, Africa. When two intelligent lions start killing off workers in brutal ways, a hunter(Michael Douglas) comes to hunt them down. It has a rushed narrative, wooden characters and a wooden Val Kilmer, but it is an enjoyable adventure-horror. Article Deletion

3/4


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## Starstalker (Aug 20, 2010)

Martial, the movie is called Dellamorte Dellamore aka The Cemetry Man.

A quick question. If you have watched this movie, have you figured it out?


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## Dynamite Right (Aug 20, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Ghost and the Darkness(1996)* - Val Kilmer plays an Engineer hired to build a bridge in Tsavo, Africa. When two intelligent lions start killing off workers in brutal ways, a hunter(Michael Douglas) comes to hunt them down. It has a rushed narrative, wooden characters and a wooden Val Kilmer, but it is an enjoyable adventure-horror. Cube CEO is fucking smart
> 
> 3/4



Loved that movie


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2010)

Starstalker said:


> Martial, the movie is called Dellamorte Dellamore aka The Cemetry Man.
> 
> A quick question. If you have watched this movie, have you figured it out?



No, I havent seen it yet. I hear great things though(shame the director never took off that much because from what I hear, he's pretty good).


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## Starstalker (Aug 20, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> No, I havent seen it yet. I hear great things though(shame the director never took off that much because from what I hear, he's pretty good).



Yes, I just saw it because it was based on the Dylan Dog comic(yea...I got pretty sad when I saw the Dead of Night trailer so I needed something to lift me up), and GOD, I have not seen such a great movie in like...years.

It is totally unlike any other zombie movie that you have ever seen. The entire movie is one big mind fuck and you just can't stop watching it until you've figured it out(the plot is really messed up).

So, yea, definitely worth watching. Pls, inform me when you see it and maybe you will be able to understand it, 'cause I've seen it like five times now and I still don't get it.


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## Chookiez (Aug 20, 2010)

When is that new Resident Evil dropping again? After the ending of Extinxtion, I can't see this new movie being anywhere near the horror theme.

Alice clones vs the world....in 3D!


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## MartialHorror (Aug 20, 2010)

Sometime next Month. I'll see it for sure.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2010)

*Piranha 3D(2010)* - Prehistoric piranha are unleashed upon a small break down in the middle of spring break, so there are plenty of tourists to prey upon. A small group of people try to stop them. It's bad and a lot of the movie seems to have been cut out, but the gore and nudity are extreme and the movie is pretty creative. It's a blast for people who like that kind of stuff. this

3/4


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## FalseMemorySyndrome (Aug 21, 2010)

Ever watched Trick R Treat? Without doubt the most creative and proberly the best horror movie of the last decade.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2010)

yup.....reviewed it somewhere. this maybe?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 23, 2010)

*Magnum Force(1973)* - Dirty Harry Callahan investigates a group of vigilante cops who are killing off the towns most notorious criminals. While the plot has lots of potential and the film is overall a well made entry, the narrative is cracked and the films impact is minimum. More of an action film than a thriller this time around, but the action is pretty good. A solid movie if you're a fan of the first "Dirty Harry". this

3/4


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## masamune1 (Aug 23, 2010)

Scorpio did'nt kill for sexual gratification.

Oh, and you should review _Cobra_.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 23, 2010)

masamune1 said:


> Scorpio did'nt kill for sexual gratification.
> 
> Oh, and you should review _Cobra_.



I disagree, although the sexual gratification can be indirect. 

As for Cobra, is that a request?


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## masamune1 (Aug 24, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> I disagree, although the sexual gratification can be indirect.



He is a power/ control type serial killer- he's thinks he's a weakling, so he kills and taunts the police to feel big and be in control of everybody. I don't think he ever looks like he gets turned on by what he does. The closest is when he raped that girl, and rape is usually about power more than sex. 

He's a guy with a self-image problem. That's why he took Harry's humiliation of him so personally, and was ready to be beaten up just to get back at him. He may be a coward, but he's less afraid of being hurt than of people looking down on him. He's basically a bully on a city-wide scale; he kills and taunts the police because he wants people to be scared of him.  



> As for Cobra, is that a request?



Yes. I just saw it last week. It was a very funny film.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 24, 2010)

masamune1 said:


> He is a power/ control type serial killer- he's thinks he's a weakling, so he kills and taunts the police to feel big and be in control of everybody. I don't think he ever looks like he gets turned on by what he does. The closest is when he raped that girl, and rape is usually about power more than sex.
> 
> He's a guy with a self-image problem. That's why he took Harry's humiliation of him so personally, and was ready to be beaten up just to get back at him. He may be a coward, but he's less afraid of being hurt than of people looking down on him. He's basically a bully on a city-wide scale; he kills and taunts the police because he wants people to be scared of him.
> 
> ...



Thats why I said indirectly. While you're right, he does do what he does for control. But the feeling of that control is what gets him off.

Think about rape. While it is more about power than sex, why use that to make a point of your power. You can do plenty of other things to make that point. It's that their feelings of power turns them on sexually.

Plus, I was mainly refering to how the actor played Scorpio. He spoke every line(when he was in killer mode) as if he was about to orgasm. 

Alright, I'll add Cobra as a request. Might be able to get it up in a week or so(I'm really backed up on reviews right now; I have like 4 waiting to be posted and another 2 coming tomorrow. But requests get the priority. It's just a matter of making room to watch it).

Oddly, I dont think I've ever seen Cobra....


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## masamune1 (Aug 24, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> Thats why I said indirectly. While you're right, he does do what he does for control. But the feeling of that control is what gets him off.
> 
> Think about rape. While it is more about power than sex, why use that to make a point of your power. You can do plenty of other things to make that point. It's that their feelings of power turns them on sexually.
> 
> Plus, I was mainly refering to how the actor played Scorpio. *He spoke every line(when he was in killer mode) as if he was about to orgasm.*



Hmm...nah. I never really got that from him. While he spoke like he was _enjoying_ himself, I don't think it was anything sexual. 

As for rape, thats a macho thing about humiliating the victim; it makes the rapist think they are a man. He probably was attracted to her but thats just because she was a pretty young girl, and he feels like he can do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. Plus, he's probably not the kind of guy who can have a normal sexual relationship, because of that self-image problem I think he's got. So he rapes because he can't have sex any other way.

When I look at Scorpio I see a guy who kills because it makes him feel better about himself. He gets off on it, but not sexually. If he does, it's more of a side-effect than his main motivation, though I did'nt really get that vibe from Robinson (though it's been a while since I've seen it). I think that's important as a theme in the story- like the Joker in _TDK_, the hero is set above the villain, who is not really a match for him. The tension comes from the fact that the hero plays by rules, and the villain kees pushing him to break them. If it was about sex I don't see that as a motive to do that.



> Alright, I'll add Cobra as a request. Might be able to get it up in a week or so(I'm really backed up on reviews right now; I have like 4 waiting to be posted and another 2 coming tomorrow. But requests get the priority. It's just a matter of making room to watch it).
> 
> Oddly, I dont think I've ever seen Cobra....



I saw _Expendables_ about a week before I saw _Cobra_; I thought _Cobra_ was by far the more cliched of the two, and funnier for it since it was played a lot more straight and serious, so comes off as pretty ridiculous.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 24, 2010)

Hmmm, fair enough.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2010)

*Scream 3(2000)* - The survivors of the previous films are stalked by a new killer, surrounding the production of a sequel to a horror movie that was based on the events of the first film. It had the biggest budget and is technically as well made as its predecessors, but it just lacks any kind of impact. Solid, but underwhelming. Genie japanese teaser. 

2.5/4


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## Sedaiv (Aug 26, 2010)

How about you check out a true golden classic called "THe Last Man on Earth" Starring Vincent Price?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2010)

I did.......somewhere. Dont remember the link but its on the site.

Unfortunately, I didn't find it to be very golden....and this coming from a huge Vincent Price fan.


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## Sedaiv (Aug 26, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> I did.......somewhere. Dont remember the link but its on the site.
> 
> Unfortunately, I didn't find it to be very golden....and this coming from a huge Vincent Price fan.



I don't know, compared to all versions of "I am Legend" The Last Man on Earth is a golden master piece. But it's always good to find a fellow Vincent Price fan. Have you checked out...

The House on Haunted Hill (Vincent Price)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Dawn of the Dead (1976)
Night of the Dead (1785)
Biozombie (2003/2004 Japanese horror film, you know it's awful but I <3 more than Katie <3's cock)
Return of the Dead 1 (forget the years)
Return of the Dead 2
Return of the Dead: Necropolis
Cannible Island
Wrong Turn
Wrong Turn 2
Haunting in Conneticut (SP?)
Poltregiest
Amityville Horror
American Gothic
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hills Have Eyes 2
High Tension

I'm a horror movie buff myself. I'm just not aloud about it like you. I've seen all of those movies plus many MANY more. Just wondering how die hard you are.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2010)

Sedaiv said:


> I don't know, compared to all versions of "I am Legend" The Last Man on Earth is a golden master piece. But it's always good to find a fellow Vincent Price fan. Have you checked out...



I actually prefer "I am Legend" a little bit more, even though it's also the most disappointing of the three. Found my review: 

(Yuck, it's one of my oldest ones). 





> The House on Haunted Hill (Vincent Price)



Yes, reviewed it.



> Night of the Living Dead (1968)



Yes, reviewed it. 



> Night of the Living Dead (1990)



Yes, but didnt review it.



> Dawn of the Dead (1976)



Yes, reviewed it.



> Night of the Dead (1785)



Do you mean Day of the Dead? If so, yes, reviewed it.



> Biozombie (2003/2004 Japanese horror film, you know it's awful but I <3 more than Katie <3's cock)



No, but it's on my long list of too see movies I think.



> Return of the Dead 1 (forget the years)
> Return of the Dead 2



Yes to both, but have yet to review either.



> Return of the Dead: Necropolis
> Cannible Island



No to both.



> Wrong Turn
> Wrong Turn 2
> Haunting in Conneticut (SP?)



Yes to all and have reviewed them all(except WT1).



> Poltregiest



Poltergeist or the one with the ghost chickens? Yes if its the first(and reviewed it), and no to the 2nd.



> Amityville Horror



Yes, but didnt review it(I havent seen all the sequels though, I think I've only seen the original, part 2, one that had Richard Roundtree and the remake.



> American Gothic



No, but it's also on the list.



> The Hills Have Eyes
> The Hills Have Eyes 2
> High Tension



Yes to all but I've yet to review any of them.


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## Hellrasinbrasin (Aug 27, 2010)

The Last Exorcism will Compel you to Believe in Possession Films again.


----------



## Amuro-ro-ro (Aug 27, 2010)

Has anyone watched *A Serbian Film*? How was it?


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## Sedaiv (Aug 27, 2010)

Don't be lazy and review. Good to see you got diversity and aren't sticking to just the classics (I'm and old skool fan VS nu skool myself). When I'm not so lazy, I'll look for your reviews. Thirty Five pages is Thirty Five freaking pages and kind of thirty five too many pages for me.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 27, 2010)

Hell: Unfortunately, I dont know if I'll have time to see it.

Amuro: Nope. Any good?

Sedaiv: My website would probably be easier to go through. Genie japanese teaser. .

It has a full on list.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 27, 2010)

*Friday the 13th Part 3(1982)* - Jason Voorhees is still alive and continues to kill anyone who he crosses, this time the friends of a past victim who survived. It was done in 3D for theaters but in 2D, it looks gimmicky and padded. But still, it's the most iconic film in the franchise and often considered the best. I think it's a worthwhile entry, but no better(or worse) than most of the sequels. Genie japanese teaser. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 30, 2010)

*The Devil's Tomb(2009)* - Cuba Gooding Jr stars as the leader of a team of elite troopers who are sent into an underground base where they're attacked by zombie-esque creatures. It could've just been a bad movie, but the fact that this movie has a pretty big cast makes it's failures more embarrassing. Ray Winstone, Ron Perlman, Bill Mosely, Henry Rollins and Jason London co-star. Genie japanese teaser. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2010)

*Machete(2010)* - Danny Trejo stars as Machete, a man who decides to get revenge on the people who betrayed them. A passable exploitation film thanks to the gore, nudity and style....but it becomes more concerned with expressing its political message and crushes itself under its own ambitions. Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin and Tom Savini co-star. Trick R Treat

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 6, 2010)

*Cobra(1986)* - Sylvester Stallone stars as Cobra, a rogue cop who declares war on crime. His current target: Catching a gang of axe wielding serial killers(yes, you read that correctly) who are attempting to kill a witness. The film has a lot of good stuff(amazing action, style and intensity) and a lot of bad stuff(it's predictable, absurd, contrived and filled with plot holes). Depending if you'll like it depends on which side sticks out to you. Personally, I think it's a satire, intentionally bringing in all that is bad and good about vigilante/action films. It's also one of the few movies to combine the action genre with the slasher genre(yay!). Trick R Treat

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 11, 2010)

*Resident Evil: Afterlife(2010)* - Alice goes to LA after losing her powers to find more survivors. She finds some, but now has to rescue them. The 3D makes it worthwhile, immersing us into the experience while throwing plenty of gimmicky effects at us. The film is a visual feast, always allowing us to see the visuals in their fullest. It's just too bad that Paul W.S Anderson once again shows that he can't sustain a tone. But in 3D, this is my personal favorite of the series. What could this be?!

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 18, 2010)

*Stage Fright(1950)* - Alfred Hitchcock's film about a woman whose childhood friend is accused of murdering the husband of his lover. He goes undercover to prove his innocence. It's sometimes smart, sometimes funny, sometimes intense and sometimes uncomfortable. it's not my kind of suspense, but it does it well. The acting is good too. A solid, albeit unremarkable entry in Hitchcock's filmography. NOT A FULL REVIEW.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 19, 2010)

*Devil(2010) *- A group of strangers are trapped in an elevator and the devil happens to be one of them. It provides a nice theological spin while often being jumpy and intelligent. A smudge of respect has returned to M. Night's name, but the real victory belongs to the director and the writer. VPS 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 24, 2010)

*Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning(1985)* - Tommy Jarvis, who killed Jason in the previous film, has grown up but is now mentally unstable. He moves to a half way home when murders begin start up. Is Jason back? Is Tommy insane? Or is someone else the killer? It's considered the worst of the franchise by most due to its inept, stupid, stupid and stupid script. But I actually like the film due to its unique and haunting visual style. Remember to wear Sunglasses

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2010)

*Survival of the Dead(2009)* - George Romero's newest zombie film stars the soldiers who appeared in one scene of "Diary of the Dead" going to a mysterious island to escape from the zombie plague, which has left society in ruins. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong in what is easily Romero's worst film to date. Pretentious, idiotic, bi-polar in tone, blandly acted and directed, I just feel betrayed. Source

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 30, 2010)

*Phantasm II(1988)* - the two survivors of the previous film hunt down the mysterious Tall Man, who goes from town to town, turning the resident into murderous midgets. I SWEAR THIS MOVIE IS NOT A COMEDY! It's actually a surprisingly chilling action-horror, although it doesn't make a lick of sense. A worthy sequel. More

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 2, 2010)

*Let Me In(2010)* - This remake of "Let the Right One In", about a disturbed boy who befriends a vampire, is about the same in terms of quality except with a more tightened script. But like the original, I found myself not caring about the characters nor the proceedings. More

2.5/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Oct 3, 2010)

I still don't quite get these early remakes.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 3, 2010)

The studios see that foreign films are good and did well in other countries.

American audiences generally dont like foreign films.

So they remake them. I dont mind that way of remaking, as long as the remakes dont suck.

It only bugs me when they remake something that only came out a few years ago(Incredible Hulk, for example).


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## Hellrasinbrasin (Oct 3, 2010)

Well there's an interesting film out with the kid who played Allessa in Silent Hill called Case 39.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2010)

Yeah, should've saw that instead. But by the time I realized it was out already, I already made the plans and the negative reviews didnt make me feel the need to change them.

Unfortunately, so many other movies I need to see are coming out so it'll probably have to wait till DVD


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## MartialHorror (Oct 9, 2010)

*My Soul to Take(2010)* - Wes Craven's supposed comeback backfired, but at least it kept my interest. 16 years after a serial killer apparently died, new murders start to happen. Did the killer survive? Seven kids who were born on the day of his death start dying brutally. Rental worthy at best. Good enough for me to give her a wiki page.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 11, 2010)

*Sea of Dust(2008)* - Low budget stars Tom Savini and Ingrid Pitt have small roles(but are marketed as the leads) in this pretentious mess about a film, about a Victorian age doctor investigating mysterious deaths that had victims heads exploding. It's a throwback to the days of Hammer Horror, except they dont seem to know what made those movies good. It also has some throwbacks to Mario Bava, but it wasn't enough. It's just a shoddy, annoying, boring mess. Good enough for me to give her a wiki page.

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2010)

*Clash of the Titans(1981)* - This remake about a half man/half god who must go on a quest to save a Princess from being sacrificed is sometimes scary, sometimes awe inspiring and sometimes just badass. But scenes go on for too long and many scenes end up being dull and anti-climactic. Uneven. Link removed

2.5/4


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## masamune1 (Oct 21, 2010)

I've just watched _Magnum Force_ and I'm going to disagree with you on a few things.

Link removed



> It's lame because we already know the answer. We've SEEN THE ROOKIES KILL now a few times. Even if we didn't, who else could it be?



First, the guy we're supposed to think it is is Harry's old pal Charlie McCoy; the rookies were obvious alternate suspects but we did'nt get things confirmed until McCoy was murdered. We never really _knew_ it was them (except in an "it's obvious" kind of way), and it was'nt even clear which of them was doing the killings since they always hit on their own. That actually kind of annoyed me since they would have seemed more threatening if at some point we saw them killing as a team, since even after that reveal it could well have just been Davis acting alone (in fact, Harry's making a slight leap of logic to assume that he isn't). 



> Furthermore, the script seems to be.....lacking some important details. The killers goals haven't seem to have been thought through, as there are plenty of holes in their plans. If the kills continued, eventually it's probable that they would be fired for failing to capture said killer.



Second, I don't think this was a problem. They were setting the kills up to look like Mob hits; in such cases they would be afforded a certain amount of leeway because it was killers killing other killers. 

It was also implied that they were moving in stages- the tip-off to those mobsters made it look like those were the guys behind it when they started shooting at everyone, and that would buy them time. The rookies told Callahan that they were only targeting known criminals to let the public know what they were up to, which suggests to me they would move on to killing different victims (probably respected public figures they suspect of doing no good- I do wonder if they and their boss had slightly different agendas).  Basically I think they put effort into covering their tracks.

I do agree that Harry did'nt feel like he was in danger enough, and that he and the villains should have clashed earlier (the former is a symptom of the latter, though I like that Harry actually seemed afraid a few times). But I don't agree about the ending for that reason too- it seemed to me that Harry and Davis were being set-up for an epic showdown, what with their comparable gun skills and Davis being the lead rookie. We we're kind of robbed of that as he was beaten unspectacularly.

Just a few meandering points I had to make. I don't think the episodic stuff was that bad and I actually think the film went by pretty fast, so I think I'd give it a 3.5 instead of a 3, personally. Still, it was a pretty good review and I don't think I would have watched thefilm if I had'nt read it.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2010)

lol, for the record, my memory is quite poor. So if I'm forgetting something or missing something, let me know.



> [/spoiler]First, the guy we're supposed to think it is is Harry's old pal Charlie McCoy; the rookies were obvious alternate suspects but we did'nt get things confirmed until McCoy was murdered. We never really knew it was them (except in an "it's obvious" kind of way), and it was'nt even clear which of them was doing the killings since they always hit on their own. That actually kind of annoyed me since they would have seemed more threatening if at some point we saw them killing as a team, since even after that reveal it could well have just been Davis acting alone (in fact, Harry's making a slight leap of logic to assume that he isn't).



*Spoiler*: __ 





It looked more like them. McCoy looked too old. They do some closeups on them, even though they're mostly covered by their sunglasses, etc. But you do see them fairly clearly enough to know that they are younger than McCoy. 

Plus, it's too obvious. If it was McCoy, why not just show it? He's too much of a suspect. On the other hand, the younger cops would be pointless additions if they werent the villains.



> Second, I don't think this was a problem. They were setting the kills up to look like Mob hits; in such cases they would be afforded a certain amount of leeway because it was killers killing other killers.



If I recall, the main bad guy was already getting shit from the higher ups about failing to get them. On the other hand, and I could be wrong about this, I seem to remember that they did plan on setting up someone. So it's possible they'd just kill some guys and frame someone else. But that would eventually draw too much attention and IA and the FBI would get involved at some point.



> It was also implied that they were moving in stages- the tip-off to those mobsters made it look like those were the guys behind it when they started shooting at everyone, and that would buy them time. The rookies told Callahan that they were only targeting known criminals to let the public know what they were up to, which suggests to me they would move on to killing different victims (probably respected public figures they suspect of doing no good- I do wonder if they and their boss had slightly different agendas). Basically I think they put effort into covering their tracks.



Pretty much what I state above. It should be noted that the rookies actions dont bug me as much. They're young and reckless, so I expect holes in their plans. It was the main villains involvement that sort of irked me(he's supposed to be smarter).



> I do agree that Harry did'nt feel like he was in danger enough, and that he and the villains should have clashed earlier (the former is a symptom of the latter, though I like that Harry actually seemed afraid a few times). But I don't agree about the ending for that reason too- it seemed to me that Harry and Davis were being set-up for an epic showdown, what with their comparable gun skills and Davis being the lead rookie. We we're kind of robbed of that as he was beaten unspectacularly.



Agreed, obviously. In all honesty, I imagine it was kind of hard to write this(especially as, if I recall, multiple writers had to be brought on again). Plus, the struggle between the hero and villain based on the first film would be hard to recapture. The fact that Magnum Force was as good as it was is impressive.



> Just a few meandering points I had to make. I don't think the episodic stuff was that bad and I actually think the film went by pretty fast, so I think I'd give it a 3.5 instead of a 3, personally. Still, it was a pretty good review and I don't think I would have watched thefilm if I had'nt read it.



lol, always enjoy debating with you. Actually, I've just realized that Im not big on episodic films in general(based on Clash of the Titans). So it might just be a pet peeve. 

Im interested in seeing the sequels(although none will likely be viewed in the immediate future) to see how they compare. MF is usually considered the best, but sometimes "The Enforcer" is too.


----------



## masamune1 (Oct 21, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> It looked more like them. McCoy looked too old. They do some closeups on them, even though they're mostly covered by their sunglasses, etc. But you do see them fairly clearly enough to know that they are younger than McCoy.
> 
> Plus, it's too obvious. If it was McCoy, why not just show it? He's too much of a suspect. On the other hand, the younger cops would be pointless additions if they werent the villains.



Oh, I know it was _obvious_ that it was'nt him; I'm just saying, he was an intentional red herring. That most people never bought it is more a sign of poor execution. Or laziness. 

Plus, as I said it was always one killer at each scene, and even after we saw Davis after he killed McCoy it could easily have been him acting alone. So it was also a matter of "which one is it?"- or likely was supposed to be, until as I said Harry makes the leap to it being all of them. 



> If I recall, the main bad guy was already getting shit from the higher ups about failing to get them. On the other hand, and I could be wrong about this, I seem to remember that they did plan on setting up someone. So it's possible they'd just kill some guys and frame someone else. But that would eventually draw too much attention and IA and the FBI would get involved at some point.
> 
> 
> Pretty much what I state above. It should be noted that the rookies actions dont bug me as much. They're young and reckless, so I expect holes in their plans. It was the main villains involvement that sort of irked me(he's supposed to be smarter).



The higher ups were bringing him up on it, but again everyone was thinking it was gang related and he pushed that angle. They could get away with it for a while. 

I also don't think that the older guy being more experienced makes much difference since he came across as more of a desk jockey, which might affect his view; like I said, I think he and his goons have slightly different plans, as he was masterminding the frame ups of the mob and, later, Harry, and might have planned to make later killings seem unrelated. The rookies seem to want to publicise things. I also don't think he was that _that_ smart and on the last point, I think if things went as they did he woud have ended up as another victim.

Of course, there is also the fact that we are talking about a gang of vigilante serial killers. They are all pretty much egotistical and insane. That they think they can get away with this for a very long time that's not really a plot hole, it's being true to their characters.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2010)

> Oh, I know it was obvious that it was'nt him; I'm just saying, he was an intentional red herring. That most people never bought it is more a sign of poor execution. Or laziness.
> 
> Plus, as I said it was always one killer at each scene, and even after we saw Davis after he killed McCoy it could easily have been him acting alone. So it was also a matter of "which one is it?"- or likely was supposed to be, until as I said Harry makes the leap to it being all of them.



If I recall, and I could be wrong, but I also remember noticing that it was a different cop per murder. But I dont remember that as fact. I do remember thinking they were all guilty.

Actually, I think it would've been better maybe if not all were guilty. 



> The higher ups were bringing him up on it, but again everyone was thinking it was gang related and he pushed that angle. They could get away with it for a while.
> 
> I also don't think that the older guy being more experienced makes much difference since he came across as more of a desk jockey, which might affect his view; like I said, I think he and his goons have slightly different plans, as he was masterminding the frame ups of the mob and, later, Harry, and might have planned to make later killings seem unrelated. The rookies seem to want to publicise things. I also don't think he was that that smart and on the last point, I think if things went as they did he woud have ended up as another victim.
> 
> Of course, there is also the fact that we are talking about a gang of vigilante serial killers. They are all pretty much egotistical and insane. That they think they can get away with this for a very long time that's not really a plot hole, it's being true to their characters.



For awhile being the key word. It seemed OOC for the boss so not think that far ahead. Of course, maybe if they had him have some sort of angle that was only temporary, it would've been fine. Of course, I only presume he was smart because he was the mastermind, and did handle himself pretty intelligently throughout the film. If he was meant to be inexperienced and a bit foolish, a bigger point should have been made. Of course, I think he's refered to as a desk jockey by Harry, but the whole point of that was he wasn't.

I do like your idea about how the rookies and the boss had different plans. That actually does I think, for the most part, explain the loopholes(if the right hand and left hand are acting independantly, it will make room for mistakes). Maybe a bigger point of it should've been made, but at the same time, I appreciate the subtlety.

I could've bought the 'insane' part if they didnt always seem so.....sane throughout the movie. They acted cold and calculating above all. Even Scorpio was batshit insane and yet he had a better thought out plan than them(but then again, Scorpio was just a freakishly awesome villain).


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2010)

*The Church(1989)* - Michele Saovi directs this uneven unofficial "Demons 3" known as "The Church". It's about demons who are unleashed from under a cathedral, possessing and preying upon people. Saovi has an interesting and unique directing style, but the script is a total mess. Although granted, who watches Italian horror films for strong scripts? We watch them for style, gore and nudity, which the film delivers. First Guest Poll winner

2.5/4


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## masamune1 (Oct 21, 2010)

MartialHorror said:


> If I recall, and I could be wrong, but I also remember noticing that it was a different cop per murder. But I dont remember that as fact. I do remember thinking they were all guilty.



Well, I thought it was a little less clear, since it was always one bike cop per kill and the whole point was that they are hard to tell apart. I  knew they were all killers from your review so I don't know how I would have reacted if I did'nt have the spoiler, though like I said I'd probably have assumed that at least one or more of them was the murderer.



> For awhile being the key word. It seemed OOC for the boss so not think that far ahead. Of course, maybe if they had him have some sort of angle that was only temporary, it would've been fine. Of course, I only presume he was smart because he was the mastermind, and did handle himself pretty intelligently throughout the film. If he was meant to be inexperienced and a bit foolish, a bigger point should have been made. Of course, I think he's refered to as a desk jockey by Harry, but the whole point of that was he wasn't.



I don't think he was inexperienced or foolish (though of course, we were sort of meant to think he was, until the reveal), I just don't think he was especially clever. Smart, but not _that_ smart. The desk jockey thing was just to mean that he was not thinking in the same terms as the street cops like Harry or the rookies, which would have bit him in the ass sooner or later. Also I don't think a guy whose answer to crime is "assemble a death squad" is much one for  thinking out long-term consequences- but I don't think it's out of character to be a reasonably clever planner while not thinking long-term either.



> I could've bought the 'insane' part if they didnt always seem so.....sane throughout the movie. They acted cold and calculating above all. Even Scorpio was batshit insane and yet he had a better thought out plan than them(but then again, Scorpio was just a freakishly awesome villain).



Well, being crazy and calculating are'nt mutually exclusive. It's more a question of role play- Scorpio was consciously playing the role of the villain and revelled in that; these guys were playing at the role of badass vigilantes and revelled in that too. But the roles called for different perfomances so they revelled in their own way. I do not doubt for a moment that they were as crazy as Scorpio and enjoyed killing as much as he did; but they were playing a different part.

I would'nt say he had a better thought out plan than them either- aside from getting caught halfway through the movie and only being released on a technicality (which would'nt happen in real life), when he's released the first thing he does it start a campaign to piss off the cop who put him away, culminating in stealing a friggin' school bus, something he would never have been able to get away with. 

He was a lot more reckless and self-destructive, and he would face the same problem that the more incompetent the police looked and the more he raised the stakes, the more likely he'd run into bigger guns like the Fed's. The vigilantes had more to lose in terms of their jobs (though thats more the bosses problem as they are just traffic cops, not involved to the case) and even that might just warrant a transfer. 

Neither that nor being fired would likely have stopped them so I don't think the risk of them being thought of as incompetent and taken off the case would worry them much- they would still keep on killing, even if they could'nt control the investigation. 

Plus, lets not forget, these guys probably think that people on the whole will or do support them, even if only secretly, and in a lot of ways are in it for the glory (I think there's a bit of this when Davis is revealed as the killer- he's smiling an awful lot for a guy trying to tell people a cops just been murdered; I think he enjoyed beign the centre of attention). I don't think they would be too worried about the Fed's investigating a bunch of mobssters, fraudsters, thieves and murderers getting their just deserts.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2010)

> Well, I thought it was a little less clear, since it was always one bike cop per kill and the whole point was that they are hard to tell apart. I knew they were all killers from your review so I don't know how I would have reacted if I did'nt have the spoiler, though like I said I'd probably have assumed that at least one or more of them was the murderer.



I shouldnt have spoiled it then. All I know is that I knew they were all in on it and thought it was obvious.


> I don't think he was inexperienced or foolish (though of course, we were sort of meant to think he was, until the reveal), I just don't think he was especially clever. Smart, but not that smart. The desk jockey thing was just to mean that he was not thinking in the same terms as the street cops like Harry or the rookies, which would have bit him in the ass sooner or later. Also I don't think a guy whose answer to crime is "assemble a death squad" is much one for thinking out long-term consequences- but I don't think it's out of character to be a reasonably clever planner while not thinking long-term either.



Fair enough.


> Well, being crazy and calculating are'nt mutually exclusive. It's more a question of role play- Scorpio was consciously playing the role of the villain and revelled in that; these guys were playing at the role of badass vigilantes and revelled in that too. But the roles called for different perfomances so they revelled in their own way. I do not doubt for a moment that they were as crazy as Scorpio and enjoyed killing as much as he did; but they were playing a different part.
> 
> I would'nt say he had a better thought out plan than them either- aside from getting caught halfway through the movie and only being released on a technicality (which would'nt happen in real life), when he's released the first thing he does it start a campaign to piss off the cop who put him away, culminating in stealing a friggin' school bus, something he would never have been able to get away with.



While he did get caught, he was able to adapt to the circumstances and plan his way out of it. He would've gotten away if he wasnt taking on Dirty harry(the reason I love the movie is I love larger than life characters doing battle). But I dont think the vigilante cops would've been able to continue much longer without being caught. 

On the other hand, Scorpio would probably last for quite some time, but would inevitably get caught or more likely killed eventually(he's too crazy to stop, and he's bound to make a mistake). But from what we saw of Scorpio throughout the movie, he was dangerously intelligent and insane. There were no real holes, other than inviting the wrath of Harry. 



> He was a lot more reckless and self-destructive, and he would face the same problem that the more incompetent the police looked and the more he raised the stakes, the more likely he'd run into bigger guns like the Fed's. The vigilantes had more to lose in terms of their jobs (though thats more the bosses problem as they are just traffic cops, not involved to the case) and even that might just warrant a transfer.
> 
> Neither that nor being fired would likely have stopped them so I don't think the risk of them being thought of as incompetent and taken off the case would worry them much- they would still keep on killing, even if they could'nt control the investigation.



lol, pretty much agree on the first part of this(about Scorpio eventually being caught). Point is, the movie never suggested he would. We know this would probably happen but at that point, the FBI had not been raised as an option and we know directly that without Harry, Scorpio would've won.

But as I said, with the vigilantes, this raises too many questions. Harry figured the plan out fairly easily, and he wasnt even on the case. I guess its possible they could've gotten away, but only because these movies usually have the entire police force sucking. But I never felt Scorpio had a weakness other than his insanity(which to a point, was also his strength). The vigilantes' plan just felt flimsy to me. Maybe that's why I didnt take them as seriously. 

I dont think the fear of losing their jobs scared them much either. But I think since they're in a limelight, it wouldn't take too much for them to be discovered either.



> Plus, lets not forget, these guys probably think that people on the whole will or do support them, even if only secretly, and in a lot of ways are in it for the glory (I think there's a bit of this when Davis is revealed as the killer- he's smiling an awful lot for a guy trying to tell people a cops just been murdered; I think he enjoyed beign the centre of attention). I don't think they would be too worried about the Fed's investigating a bunch of mobssters, fraudsters, thieves and murderers getting their just deserts.



Good point. You've adequately explained why the rookies would act that way. It's the boss's actions that dont really convince me.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 23, 2010)

*Paranormal Activity 2(2010)* - The family of the protagonist in the first film are haunted by the same demon in this prequel to the smash hit, Paranormal Activity. If you liked the first ones subtle horrors, you will like this too. A bit slow though for me. You can find gifs here

3/4


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## masamune1 (Oct 28, 2010)

> Watching Michael walk around isn?t scary, especially as we know he won?t kill anyone in the middle of the road.



The tension I felt was more from the the fact that the people were unaware that a spree killer was walking amongst them. That and the fact that he may or may not have been stalking another victim. But that's just me.



> The film tries to explain his motives(there are hints to what ?Halloween 6? would exploit), but making Laurie turn out to be his sister was a huge mistake. What made the first film so effective was how random he was. He kills girls because they remind him of his sister, and his ?shrine? at the end was a perfect representation of his insanity.



I don't really agree with that. It's not really clear why he killed in the first one, and that was kind of the point as it was very much going for "motiveless malignity". It's a bit speculative (if plausible) to say he was killing girls that reminded him of his sister, and it does'nt really explain why he killed his sister in the first place. 

It was'nt so random since he was going out of his way to stalk Laurie, and she was clearly different from the other victims if he made that "shrine" to his sister for her, though for me I think he was just trying to scare the hell out of her. In some ways the twist seems a it forced but, in others, it was perfectly organic as an alternate explanation for why he was so obsessed with her. I agree that how it was executed was a bit bad and last minute, but I think the twist itself was okay. 

Personally, I think the actually explains his motivations a bit better with that _Samhain_ bit. It was the first time I really "got" Michael as it reminded me that he never killed without wearing a mask. Which suggests me that he's motivated more by some kind of power fantasy, and that he's trying to actually become some kind of boogeyman. Killing his sisters was part of an attempt to become less human while his murder of girls, and the way he hesitated when murdering girls who mistook him for their boyfriends in both films is a minor conflict between his lust (ie. humanity) and his desire to be a monster. 

Just my interpretation.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2010)

lol, somehow, I knew you'd respond to this. 



> I don't really agree with that. It's not really clear why he killed in the first one, and that was kind of the point as it was very much going for "motiveless malignity". It's a bit speculative (if plausible) to say he was killing girls that reminded him of his sister, and it does'nt really explain why he killed his sister in the first place.



To me though, that makes it more mysterious, frightening and even a little more realistic.



> It was'nt so random since he was going out of his way to stalk Laurie, and she was clearly different from the other victims if he made that "shrine" to his sister for her, though for me I think he was just trying to scare the hell out of her. In some ways the twist seems a it forced but, in others, it was perfectly organic as an alternate explanation for why he was so obsessed with her. I agree that how it was executed was a bit bad and last minute, but I think the twist itself was okay.



He did stalk her more than the others(that we know of anyway, remember saw most of the movie from Laurie's eyes so he could've been stalking the others too), but that can also be that she reminded him of his sister more.

For the record, I dont think it's a bad twist. I just like it when things are mysterious and ambiguous. Plus, I dont know if I buy how no one knew. I dont think they'd cover up the connection that heavily. 



> Personally, I think the actually explains his motivations a bit better with that Samhain bit. It was the first time I really "got" Michael as it reminded me that he never killed without wearing a mask. Which suggests me that he's motivated more by some kind of power fantasy, and that he's trying to actually become some kind of boogeyman. Killing his sisters was part of an attempt to become less human while his murder of girls, and the way he hesitated when murdering girls who mistook him for their boyfriends in both films is a minor conflict between his lust (ie. humanity) and his desire to be a monster.



LOL! I actually thought the same thing even before I rewatched this. When Laurie pulls of his mask, he suddenly shows human emotion, panicked at the thought of having to show his face. He also cries in H5 with it off. In my eyes, when Michael puts on the mask, he feels he's becoming someone else(taking the point of the holiday literally) and that someone else happens to be a monster. In my eyes, when he wears the mask, Michael probably thinks hes playing a practical joke on his sister(or anyone he kills). Example, he dresses up in the sheet when harassing one of the girls. Thats such a "little brother" thing to do. 

I think that he could be killed if the mask was removed. But when he wears the mask, he believes he's the spirit of Halloween so strongly that he becomes it. 

I always liked how the Halloween movies seemed to imply this without spelling it out.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 31, 2010)

*Saw 3D(2010)* - The 7th and final(?) entry in the Saw franchise has Jigsaws two successors duking it out to see who will carry out his legacy while a survivor of one of Jigsaws previous traps finds himself in a new trap. It suffers from many things, from plot holes to a disjointed script, but beyond all the thick gore, this one actually surprised me and made me care about what happened. That alone puts this above the previous three entries(which only satisfied on a visceral level). Avoid the 3D version though. here

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 9, 2010)

*The House of the Devil(2009)* - A College girl stays the night at a large house in the middle of nowhere, but then creepy things begin to happen. This old school horror film that's a throwback to the old Satanic cult movies suffers from severe flaws, but does manage to be very creepy. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 11, 2010)

*Giallo(2009)* - Adrien Brody stars as a detective trying to hunt down a brutal serial killer with yellow skin who tortures his victims in Dario Argento's latest film. It has some moments where Argento's brilliance surfaces and has a lot of good ideas. It just never completely feels right, with awkward scripting, directing and acting. But I wouldn't call it flat out 'bad' either. Just misguided. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2010)

*Skyline(2010) *- Aliens invade LA and a small group of people try to survive. It's dumb entertainment, most noticeable for blatantly ripping off other films("District 9" especially). Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 20, 2010)

*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1(2010)* - Lord Voldemort takes over the Ministry in the 7th entry of the franchise, and Harry and his friends must go into hiding. Excellently framed with gorgeous and symbolic imagery, some intense and frightening moments and a strong sense of isolation and paranoia. Perhaps a bit too 'mature' for this type of film and you must contend with the slow pace, but I thought it was great. here.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 29, 2010)

*Midnight Meat Train(2008)* - Bradley Cooper(before he did "The Hangover") is a photographer who snaps some shots in an old subway, possibly catching the hand of a serial killer(Vinnie Jones; who owns). He becomes obsessed with the killer, tracking him down and stalking him. But the cat and mouse games are about to begin. It's sort of a spin off "Rear Window", except it's a slasher. It's very intense and bleak, with an excellent cast. It's main flaw is that the gore itself feels campy, betraying the tone. Based on a story written by Clive Barker("Hellraiser") and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura("Versus"). this

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2010)

*A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge(1985)* - A boy starts being possessed by the serial killer Freddy Krueger in his dreams. Interesting and unique in that it is more of a character understudy than anything. It just fails with its tacked on 'scares'. here.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 16, 2010)

*The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)* - A deranged doctor captures two women and a man and sews them together- mouth to anus- to create a human centipede. It boasts the worst concept of all time, but the movie itself is actually decent. RM19 has been subbed for quite a while

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 23, 2010)

*Operation: Endgame(2010) *- A group of assassins turn on eachother when it becomes apparent one(or more) of them killed their superior. But they're in an underground building set to explode so......sucks to be them. Despite a surprisingly impressive cast, the film doesn't know if it wants to be a thriller or a comedy, trying both and predictably failing at both. Painful. Parvati's Actress Beaten by Her Brother for Dating Non-Muslim

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 31, 2010)

*A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master(1988)* - Freddy Krueger haunts the dreams of the remaining Elm Street kids(Dream Warriors) and kills them. However, the final one gives her abilities to her socially awkward friend, whom Freddy uses to pull her friends into her dreams. But when she learns she's gaining Freddy's victims abilities, she decides to turn the tables on the dead child killer. It's............strange. here.

2/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jan 1, 2011)

Midnight Meat Train, I haven't watched the movie but had read the short story and it's bleak alright.

However MartialHorror, a thread search tells me you haven't reviewed The Children by Tom Shankland, which is an affront to creepy children everywhere. Watch your windows. 

Yes this is a suggestion.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2011)

Added to netflix.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 6, 2011)

*The Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy(1989)* - The murderous Stepfather survives the events of the first film and finds a new family to nest with, only to resort to his murderous ways when they fail to live up to his expectations. Pretty much the same thing as the first film, except lacking the suspense, symbolism, intelligence or depth. Terry O'Quinn reprises his role, however, and is excellent. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2011)

*Season of the Witch(2011)* - Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman star as Two Knights who must escort a witch to a convent so that she can be put on trial for causing a plague. It has its good aspects and it's bad ones. The script is uneven but the acting is good. The CGI is bad, but the action good! It's okay overall. Link removed

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2011)

*The Children(2008)* - A family spends their Christmas vacation with relatives who own a lovely house in the middle of nowhere. Things turn sour when something starts causing the children to turn homicidal. It made me never want to have kids, and this was BEFORE they started killing. lol, nah, seriously though: It's a pretty terrifying film . You have to be patient and sometimes it can be grating, but my hands were shaking as I took it from my DVD player. Not for everybody though. Link removed

3.5/4


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## Yasha (Jan 15, 2011)

Black Swan, Martial. Black Swan.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2011)

One day, Yasha.....one day.


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## Yasha (Jan 15, 2011)

Yeah, one day you will regret not having seen it in the theater.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2011)

*Black Swan(2010)* - A ballet dancer starts freaking out under the pressure. I WATCHED IT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! ARE YOU!? Anyway, it's good, but I wasn't THAT impressed. OMONA~~~~

3/4


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## Yasha (Jan 19, 2011)

I Saw the Devil, Martial. I Saw the Devil.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 19, 2011)

It's not on netflix yet! Argh!


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## Violent by Design (Jan 19, 2011)

Yasha said:


> I Saw the Devil, Martial. I Saw the Devil.



Where did you see this movie?


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## Yasha (Jan 19, 2011)

I downloaded it. 


I posted the download links here if you're interested.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 20, 2011)

Unfortunately, I dont like watching films on my computer.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 21, 2011)

*Galaxy of Terror(1981)* - A space crew investigates a mysterious planet where they must encounter murderous centipedes, giant worms that rape people, zombies, violent tentacles and more! This "Alien" clone, produced by Roger Corman, may be a shoddy, low budget sleazefest. But it sure is fun! OMONA~~~~

3/4


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## Yasha (Jan 21, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> Unfortunately, I dont like watching films on my computer.



It's worth the wait, but make sure you get the uncut version. 

For the time being, go watch Black Swan again.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2011)

*Leprechaun 2(1994)* - The murderous Leprechaun searches for a new bride and kills whoever gets in his way. More of a remake than a sequel, but it has a more consistent tone and moves quickly. Slightly better than its predecessor. here.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 29, 2011)

*The Rite(2011)* - A doubting Priest is assigned in Rome to work under an eccentric exorcist and realizes that demonic possession is a real thing. Pretty intelligent and laid back, with a great performance from Anthony Hopkins. It just never tries to break away from "The Exorcist" in its conventions and cliches. young girl who played Mizuki

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2011)

My Top 12 Favorite Movies of 2010 list: *Read all but the last two Extras on this page

Shockingly, the #1 spot isn't even something I reviewed.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2011)

*Sanctum(2011) *- Cave divers get trapped when a storm hits them hard and have to find a new way out in this largely unexplored cave system. It lacks the monsters of "The Cave", but otherwise feels like the same movie. James Cameron must be irked at his involvement as executed producer. STRONGchelmist

2/4


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## Yasha (Feb 14, 2011)

Hi Martial, have you seen this one?


 [YOUTUBE]bvqWQGW5V1Q[/YOUTUBE]


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## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2011)

Nope. Looks........strange.


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## Yasha (Feb 14, 2011)

It's directed by Shion Sono (his more famous work is _Suicide Club_). The reason I asked is because someone had compared it to _Visitor Q_ (probably because both have father-daughter i*c*st scenes). But Shion Sono had been known to make weird but decent movies. I've seen his _Suicide Club, Noriko's Dinner Table_ and _Love Exposure_ and they're actually pretty good, unlike Visitor Q (but then Visitor Q's director had also made quite a number of good movies according to you).  But I still can't decide if I want to watch it (sex scene between a father and his 12-year-old daughter is ewwww...) So I've been trying to get a second opinion from someone with a lot of experience in this kind of stuff (watching weird horror movies, I mean) Are you interested?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2011)

My main reluctance is that Visitor Q also got good reviews....so good reviews for this one too........I'll think about it.

Speaking of which, you havent seen any of Takashi Miike's films yet other than VQ, have you? THAT MUST CHANGE YASHA, DEAR!


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## Yasha (Feb 14, 2011)

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if some of those people that reviewed Strange Circus positively are actually the same people that gave Visitor Q good reviews... which makes me even more indecisive about watching it.

About Takashi Miike, give me one of your top recommendations and I'll start from there.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2011)

Lemme see, 

1)*Audition*: many others

It's what I like to call romance/horror. It's crazy and often unsettling, but is still one of his more subdued films.

2) *Imprint*: I happen to be one of the bigger fans of this movie. I found it to be shocking as hell as sometimes even terrifying. If only the Japanese people were speaking actual Japanese(it sounds so awkward watching them speak a 2nd language). (Horror film)

3) *The Dead or Alive Trilogy*: eh......The first film is pretty wild but also.....odd. The 2nd one is the best and the 3rd is the weakest. They're action films.

4) *Ichi the Killer*: Many consider this to be his best movie, but while good, I never loved it that much

5) *Fudoh*: A Yakuza exploitation film.

If you want some really crazy ass stuff, watch "Gozu". If you want his most normal movie, watch "One Missed Call"(NOT THE AMERICAN REMAKE). Obviously most of these films are super grotesque. I dont know how well they compare to "I Saw the Devil".


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## Yasha (Feb 15, 2011)

Oh, Audition was directed by Takashi Miike? I've heard about it a few times. The main guy in Audition is also in Suicide Club. I think I will start with it.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 21, 2011)

*Paintball(2009)* - A group of annoying strangers go to a secluded forest to play some paintball, but things turn sour when someone using live ammo begins to hunt them down and kill them. The director shows promise, even if his decisions at times are quite questionable, but the script is awful. Full of holes, annoying dialogue(constant F-bombing) and a plot derived from "Hostel", it's just not very good. As a direct-to-DVD horror film, it's passable. Apparently it's a Spanish movie, but I didn't notice. Link removed

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 25, 2011)

*The Robot Vs the Aztec Mummy(1958)* - A mad scientist creates a humanoid robot in order to slay an ancient mummy in order to steal its treasures. It's the third entry in a trilogy including "The Aztec Mummy" and "Curse of the Aztec Mummy", and whores stock footage from this films. It's just painfully awful, being inept but worse: boring. Even its short running time felt too long. It's a Mexican film, apparently. here.

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2011)

*Drive Angry 3D(2011)* - A man escapes hell so that he can hunt down the cult who killed his daughter and captured his infant granddaughter(for sacrificing purposes). He befriends a kickass chick who assists him and must avoid the devil's accountant. The actors play their roles with such bravado that it gives the film a personality that the other notable car chase movie, "Faster", lacked. Fun, gory, sexy and surprisingly original at points......It is a true throwback to 80's exploitation. Faster

3/4


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## Yasha (Feb 26, 2011)

Hi Martial, I Saw the Devil is not available on netflix yet?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2011)

Nope, but as "The Arrow"(horror movie reviewer) just reposted his review, I presume it will be officially released in the next few weeks........maybe.


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## Violent by Design (Feb 27, 2011)

I didn't even know there were three Dead or Alive movies.


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## Yasha (Mar 4, 2011)

I Saw the Devil is having a limited theatrical release in US. Do you live anywhere near any of these theatres?


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## Parallax (Mar 4, 2011)

Oh wow it's playing close to where I live

Sadly I'm watching Uncle Bombee tonight and I can only afford one movie :[


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## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2011)

Nope. I was irritated too because nothing else excites me this weekend.


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## Yasha (Mar 5, 2011)

Parallax said:


> Oh wow it's playing close to where I live
> 
> Sadly I'm watching Uncle Bombee tonight and I can only afford one movie :[



You can see it next week. It's one of those extremely graphic movies that will stay with you for a while.




MartialHorror said:


> Nope. I was irritated too because nothing else excites me this weekend.



Too bad. I'd like to see it on big screen myself. Hopefully it will come out on netflix soon.


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## The Weeknd (Mar 5, 2011)

Have any monster movies other then the big G series and the host? Hopefully something I can download off Warez


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## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2011)

lol............strangely, not really. What kind are you looking for? More action oriented? Horror oriented? Godzilla-esque?


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## The Weeknd (Mar 6, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> lol............strangely, not really. What kind are you looking for? More action oriented? Horror oriented? Godzilla-esque?



Action Oriented lol. I just saw Gamera 2 Attack of the Legion and Gamera 3 Awakening of Iris, so yeah lol more action-oriented.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2011)

Hmmm, I'll have to think about it. If you want a Godzille esque monster movie, try Space Amoeba. When it comes to newer ones though....I really need to think about it.

*The Birds(1963)* - A coastal town is plagued by bird attacks in this Hitchcock classic. It is often chilling to the bone and the bird attacks are still very intense. It's the human drama, oddly, that seems wooden and dated. Faster

3/4


----------



## Parallax (Mar 7, 2011)

Yasha said:


> You can see it next week. It's one of those extremely graphic movies that will stay with you for a while.



I don't regret seeing Uncle Boonmee, now that was an experience.  Devil should still be playing maybe I'll take my girlfriend since she likes horror films.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2011)

*I Spit On Your Grave(2010)* - A woman is raped by a bunch of misogynists while staying at a secluded cabin in the deep south. She gets her revenge. This remake of the 1978 cult classic(which I also reviewed) starts off pretty good, but becomes more and more absurd(and stupid) as time goes on. It's still not bad. Greatest Tumblr account ever

2/4


----------



## Yasha (Mar 10, 2011)

Parallax said:


> I don't regret seeing Uncle Boonmee, now that was an experience.  Devil should still be playing maybe *I'll take my girlfriend *since she likes horror films.



Not sure if that's a good idea, seeing the horrible ways women were treated in that film. 

But then I'd be interested to hear a girl's opinion on it.


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## Parallax (Mar 11, 2011)

She likes violent films so we'll see.  I'm just hoping they're still showing the film later during the week.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 12, 2011)

*Battle: Los Angeles(2011)* - Aliens invade and a small military unit must fight them off while evacuating civilians. It's often hard to follow with the damn, shaky camera.....but it is pretty much all action. Very cliched too. here.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 22, 2011)

*Hatchet 2(2010)* - The survivor of the first film manages to escape, but ultimately decides to return to the swamp where the undead killer lurks to get revenge, bringing a bunch of gun totting badasses with her. It can be funny, dramatic and most importantly: gory as hell(this is a successful slasher), but it can't combine these elements properly, making the tone seem all over the place. Read.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 3, 2011)

*Insidious(2011)* - A family is plagued by hauntings......In terms of story, it's almost a carbon copy of "Poltergeist", but darker and more horrific, with a touch of "Paranormal Activity 2" thrown in for good measure. Yet James Wan's visual style is very fresh, full of crazy style and spooky imagery. I was often creeped out. here

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 5, 2011)

*ThanksKilling(2010)* - A killer, foul mouthed turkey hunts down stupid teens on Thanksgiving break...This splatter-comedy sounds funny, but I found it to be annoying, boring and tedious. It has its fans, however. =o sbs shows for sg, I approve. but waiiii chinese subs

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2011)

*The Masque of the Red Death(1964)* - Vincent Price stars as a sadistic Prince who worships Satan. When the Red Death strikes the villages around his castle(personified by a dude dressed in red), Prince rallies all of his friends and allies at his castle for protection while also bringing three peasants for their amusement. But can they really escape death? Price gives an excellent show and Corman delivers all the fog, red lighting and gothic spookiness that one can ask for. But it's also surprisingly intelligent, being about how people respond to the concept of dying. 29.07. SKRILLEX (USA) to play in Finland! @ The Circus, Helsinki

4/4


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## Hellrasinbrasin (Apr 12, 2011)

Have any of you seen Belgium Director Jaco Van Dormael's Mr. Nobody

... Its a scifi drama but not in the traditional sense of a conventional scifi film as nothing about the film is conventional.

Set in 2092 the film focusss on a 118 year old man who gives three parallel stories each only one is the true path he took. What I liked is that you had to think about which he did as you are never told. Even though terms like: The Big Bang Theory, The Superstring Theory, The Many-Worlds Interpretation, Telomeres and Parallel Universes are used they are more symbolical in their useage across the Four Narratives in the film than fact. A fact which irritated some who viewed the film.

Rating: 5/5


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## masamune1 (Apr 12, 2011)

> “The Masque of the Red Death” has to be the most thematic horror film that I’ve ever seen. Or is it even a horror film? Honestly, I have absolutely no idea how to describe it. Perhaps it’s a drama or a thriller masked as a horror film. Corman certainly films “The Masque of the Red Death” as if it was a horror film, but the story itself feels kind of like a dark twist on Shakespeare. If I had to compare it to anything, it would be Akira Kurosawa’s “Throne of Blood”. The movie is chilling and suitably creepy, yet I can’t call it a horror film. Yet despite not getting the horror film that I wanted, “The Masque of the Red Death” is truly a fascinating film, although it’s not for everyone.



I guess you are unaware it was a story by Edgar Allan Poe, then?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2011)

Hell: Nope, will check it out.

Masa: Yes, as all of Vincent Price's/Roger Corman's collaborations were(I think).


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## MartialHorror (Apr 13, 2011)

*Inside(2007)* - A french film about a pregnant lady who is stalked and attacked by a psychotic woman. In terms of story, beyond its grueling gimmick, it is a fairly normal horror film. But it is also one of the most intense horror films out there....Not easy to watch, but in a good way. here.

3.5/4


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## masamune1 (Apr 15, 2011)

Hitchcock _was_ insane and he _did_ terrorise women. 

Don't know if any of them were pregnant though.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 15, 2011)

nope, they weren't. lol


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## MartialHorror (Apr 17, 2011)

*Scream 4(2011)* - Sidney returns to her old town only to be stalked by another masked killer. Her cousin is terrorized as well. Pretty good sequel with moments of brilliance and solid direction, although it's nose is buried deep in its own ass and the narrative is faulty. "Ghetto" Brian

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 19, 2011)

*Pathology(2008)* - A med student joins a group of Hospital Residents in a deadly game of who can commit the perfect murder. It's one of those movies that screams 'decent' and it's biggest fault is that it never rises above being decent. looooooooooooooooool

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 23, 2011)

*Dead Space: Aftermath(2011)* - Four survivors of a doomed ship relate their stories about their encounter with an alien artifact. It's meant to tie-in the two video games, sort of like how "Dead Space: Downfall"(which i reviewed; here.) was a prequel to the first video game. However, it's incredibly boring, most of the movie comprising of people spewing bad dialogue. The animations are pretty bad too......, although I admire the effort into pulling off a "Rashomon" style narrative. here.

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2011)

*The Box(2009)* - A couple find themselves in a dire situation when they are offered $1,000,000 if they press a button on a box that will kill someone somewhere in the world. It starts off boring, then becomes incredibly suspenseful and interesting, then implodes from its pretentiousness. In other words, it's incredibly uneven and polarizing. The score is great though. Ahahahaha

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 1, 2011)

*Zombie Holocaust(1980)* - This Italian splatterfests is about a couple of doctors going to a dangerous island where one of the last old school cannibal tribes live.....but find that the island is plagued with something worse. This blatant cash-in on Lucio Fulci's "Zombie" and Ruggero Deodato's "Cannibal Holocaust" is much of of your typical Italian cannibal film than a zombie film(there are only a few zombies and they kind of suck). Nevertheless, you can expect a fair amount of nudity and gore, so it's not a total loss. now i want android.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 12, 2011)

*Blood Simple(1984)* - A bar owner hires a P.I to kill his wife and her lover, but nothing goes as planned. Incredible debut film by the popular Coen Brothers. It's moody, suspenseful and intense.....and very unpredictable. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (May 14, 2011)

*Priest(2011)* - In the future where vampires exist and there are warrior Priests to combat them, the peace is shaken between the two sides when a former Priest-turned-evil kidnaps a disbanded Priests niece. For a movie with so much potential, very little seems to happen.....Still, the film looks good and it's marginally entertaining. I liked the good about as much as I disliked the bad, so they cancelled each other out. have a history

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 17, 2011)

*Motel Hell(1980)* - A Farmer uses people as his secret ingredient to his famous packaged meat. Nom Nom time! The film is a loose satire of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"(ironically, the director of that film ripped this off for its sequel) and "Psycho". There is some zombie spoofing as well. The movie isn't especially funny, but it's harmless and I thought the finale was pretty badass. IT IS NOT A SLASHER, however. rest of the album can be found here

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2011)

*I Saw the Devil(2010)* - A secret agent with mad skills hunts down a serial killer who murdered his pregnant fiance. On it's head, it's just another vigilante movie.....However, it makes explicit what movies like "Dirty Harry" only implied and is so brutal that I found it hard not to be effected. The killer was scary and the agent was scary, but I feared the movie for it was that damn cruel. Not for the squeamish. Rules of the Ponynet

4/4


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## MartialHorror (May 26, 2011)

*Case 39(2010)* - A social worker(Renee Zellweger) rescues a little girl from her abusive parents, but discovers that the little girl might be a demonic entity(or at least is being possessed by something of that sort). The film feels like a very daring, creative, edgy and intelligent horror movie is doing battle with a plot hole ridden, limp, cliched and conventional horror movie. Whoever wins, it's a Pyrrhic victory. Link removed

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 30, 2011)

*The Road(2009)* - A Man and his son try to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. The film is shot like a horror film, complete with many startling sequences and a bleak, desolate atmosphere. The film also is kinda similar to "The Book of Eli" in set-up and visuals(albeit smaller in scale). But it is a drama. It tries too hard to be oscar bait, but there are plenty of heartwrenching moments and Viggo Mortensen probably delivers his best performance by far. here.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 4, 2011)

*Dead Snow(2009)* - Med-students go up to party in the mountains and find themselves attacked by NAZI ZOMBIES! The first half is low key and creepy, but the 2nd half is crazy, silly, stupid fun. Imagine if "Evil Dead" suddenly became like "Evil Dead 2" half way through the movie. The bi-polar tone is distracting, but zombie fans should be pleased. Joe Mad?

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 10, 2011)

*Re-Animator(1985) *- Jeffrey Combs steals the show as a mad scientist who has learned to resurrect the dead. The problem? They're resurrected as incredibly strong, murderous beasts. He drags a poor couple into his schemes, but nothing goes as planned. This immensely gory but always amusing homage/parody of Frankenstein and zombie films is definately a charmer among genre fans. Also

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 12, 2011)

*Super 8(2011)* - A group of kids witness a train crash while shooting a zombie movie. Inside the train lies something terrible. Whatever it is, it escapes and in the next few days, the military swarms their whole town as people start vanishing under mysterious circumstances. It's one of those movies that you can find holes and the resolution is pretty rushed. Yet the film is charming, wholesome, funny and suspenseful. It genre bends so expertly that it succeeds as a drama, as a slice of life comedy and as a horror film. Also

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2011)

*Basic Instinct (1992)* - Michael Douglas plays a detective who investigates the sex buddy of a murdered (ex) rock-star, but finds himself attracted to her. It's a pretty stupid movie, with plenty of over-directed scenes and the script showcases ambiguity in a way that suggests the writer was just covering up his plot holes. Yet it has its moments and Sharon Stone is so perfect for this role that it's hard not to be drawn to her. It's a very sex driven movie, and as such, it succeeds. Followed by a much hated sequel in 2006. Link removed

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 16, 2011)

*Eaten Alive! (1980)* - A woman teams up with a drunken adventurer in the Jungles of New Guinea to find her sister, who has joined a Jim Jones-esque cult. But the cult happens to be surrounded by a tribe of vicious cannibals. It's your typical "Italian Cannibal" splatter film, full of animal cruelty, rape and violence.....but it's better paced than most of them. It's not really entertaining, but it's......almost entertaining? Google told me so

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 26, 2011)

*They Live (1988)* - Roddy Piper stars as a man struggling for work in the late 80's. He happens to come across a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see that aliens have taken over the world. It's time to kick ass. It's part action- serious and camp-, part horror and part drama. The problem is that it dabbles in these genres one at a time, making for a bi-polar tone. Nevertheless, it has its charm and has become a cult classic. Directed by John Carpenter. Running man 46 with Kim Hyun Joong if anyone is bored , not by Isubs but just as good

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 28, 2011)

*The Last Exorcism (2010)* - A reverend reveals that his profession as an exorcist is a sham. There are no demonic possessions and exorcisms tend to get people killed. He's making a documentary to debunk it as he tries to 'exorcise' a girl from Rural America. Unfortunately for him, she might be the real deal. It's low key suspense will either unsettle you or bore you, with the ending feeling absurd compared to the rest of the film. Personally, I was interested in the characters and found the suspense very effective. newspaper ad for seobb's bday

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2011)

*A Woman, a Gun and a Noodle Shop (2009)* - Zhang Yimou("Hero"/"Curse of the Golden Flower) directs this remake of the Coen Brothers' "Blood Simple", a taught and edgy thriller. He replaces its dark, bleak look with bright, beautiful, vibrant landscapes and it's nuanced, believable characters with amusing, silly, 'theatrical' characters. It's been stripped of its thriller-ness and it's not a martial arts films. So why the hell am I reviewing it? Er, because....shut up! Come To Play

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 7, 2011)

*Rope (1948)* - Jimmy Stewart plays a teacher who begins to suspect that two of his former students have murdered their friend. The entire movies takes place at a party and is fascinating to watch. The camerawork is unique, the sense of humor is morbid, the characters are fascinating and the actors that play them are superb. This is one of Alfred Hitchcock's best movies, and it's too bad this movie doesn't get as much attention as some of his more famous works. Gaon Singles Ranking for Half Yearly 2011

4/4


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## Stunna (Jul 7, 2011)

The Last Exorcism is da bomb diggity.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2011)

*Dinoshark (2010)* - A dinoshark terrorizes boaters and swimmers in a vacation resort in Mexico. It's up to a "Captain" and a "Scientist" to stop it. As one would expect from a film produced by Corman and the ScyFy channel, it sucks.....But it manages to be pretty fun regardless. Source

2/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Jul 12, 2011)

i 'm watching last exorcism now, and by now i mean i had to split it in two parts, it was getting late and too scary to watch that shit right b4 going to bed :S


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## MF NaruSimpson (Jul 13, 2011)

hey martial, in your "post comments" section of a review, is the star rating for the review or the comment?


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## Kei (Jul 13, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Inside(2007)* - A french film about a pregnant lady who is stalked and attacked by a psychotic woman. In terms of story, beyond its grueling gimmick, it is a fairly normal horror film. But it is also one of the most intense horror films out there....Not easy to watch, but in a good way. Source
> 
> 3.5/4



My French teacher had this movie, I asked him about it and he said it really good. Thanks, this is really helpful


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2011)

Naruto: Uuuh, of whatever you want. lol.

Keiichi: It's pretty awesome.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 19, 2011)

*Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)* - A serial killer decides to teach his best friend how to murder people while he falls in love with his friends sister (or does he?). This low key horror-thriller is incredibly disturbing and unsettling. Just beware of the slow pace. Michael Rooker is fascinating as the killer. Source

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 25, 2011)

*Fido (2006)* - An alternate 1950's has the human race surviving a zombie war, where safe zones are established and some zombies are even domesticated thanks to technology. It's not scary enough to be a horror, not gory enough to be a splatter film, nor funny enough to be a comedy........But its uniqueness appealed to be and the satirical look of the 50's was quite amusing. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 28, 2011)

*The Mummy's Hand (1940)* - Two archeologists discover a Mummy's Tomb and find themselves hunted by the bandaged fiend. When people think of the original Boris Karloff classic, they think of this one. In Karloff's film, the Mummy is relatively human. In this film, he's all bandaged up. It's not really scary, but it is kind of amusing and better paced than Karloff's film. Followed by three (allegedly inferior) sequels where Lon Chaney Jr plays the Mummy. Bye bye Bats

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2011)

*Cowboys & Aliens (2011)* - In the old wild, wild west days, A man wakes up with no memory and a mysterious contraption on his arm. He soon finds himself having to help save the world from Aliens. It starts off great but as time goes on, it becomes more and more generic. Bye bye Bats

2.5/4


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## Kei (Jul 31, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Cowboys & Aliens (2011)* - In the old wild, wild west days, A man wakes up with no memory and a mysterious contraption on his arm. He soon finds himself having to help save the world from Aliens. It starts off great but as time goes on, it becomes more and more generic. Bye bye Bats
> 
> 2.5/4



I wasn't going to see the movie...And now I know I am not going to see the movie...And wait it a horror???


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2011)

It's an action-horror. There are a few scary moments.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 2, 2011)

*Frozen (2010) *- Adam Green ("Hatchet") directs this taut thriller about three friends being trapped on a ski lift. A storm is coming, wolves are prowling below and no one knows where they at. Green as the director does a good job with the suspense, but Green as the writer fumbles as he writes the characters as if they're slasher fodder. Uneven, but sometimes very effective. 1up.com

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 4, 2011)

*Fright Night (1985)* - A boy begins to suspect that his new neighbor is a vampire whose killing women. The film is clearly inspired by "Rear Window" and unfortunately, those conventions are old. However, the film is so distinctly 80's in terms of style and effects that fans of the decade will find the film to be thoroughly charming. I know I sure did. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2011)

*Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)* - A prequel to either the 1968 classic or the 2001.....not classic, this film deals with how the apes became smart enough to overthrow humanity as the dominant species. The film is a drama and it is an effective one. Yet its use of suspense and action is incredibly well done as well. It's not perfect, but it is very good. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 13, 2011)

*Final Destination 5 (2011)* - A boy has a vision of a bridge collapsing, killing off him and his friends, so using this vision he's able to save his friends. However, death is angry and the survivors are killed off one by one in utterly gruesome ways. If you've seen the other films, the only real difference between this and the others is the title.....which has 5 in it. Still, it's serviceable for us gorehounds. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2011)

*Dagon (2001)* - A nerd and his friends vacation off the coast of Spain after becoming rich. When their boat is damaged, they're forced to stay on some mysterious island full of creepy villagers. It turns out that the villagers aren't quite human and have vile plans for our protagonists. It's flawed, but as an excellent pace, loads of intensity and even a good sense of humor. Made by the guys who did the original "Re-Animator". 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 23, 2011)

*Fright Night (2011)* - A teenager begins to suspect that his neighbor is a vampire.....and he's right. This horror-comedy actually does have a surprising amount of suspense and laughs, although they don't always blend together very well. It knows its conventions and story faults and instead opts to just be entertaining and I guess it was....Not great, but it was better than I anticipated. I still prefer the original 1985 film though. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2011)

*Red Hill (2010)* - In (present day) Australia, a young cop transfers to the silent county of Red Hill. Unfortunately, on the first day of the job, a vicious killer breaks out of prison and declares war on the small town. This is the closest thing I've seen to a true western-horror hybrid. It has all the western visual cliches, but somehow manages to make them creepy. Plus, the film is gorgeously shot and moves at a lightning fast pace. I love this movie because I love the combining of these two genres, but the script is VERY flawed at times and I seem to be more enthusiastic about this than the masses. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 28, 2011)

*Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011) *- A girl moves into a spooky mansion that is being renovated by her Father and his new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the mansion is already the home of vicious little creatures that want childrens teeth. The film is wonderfully shot, evoking a sense of dread while at the same time looking gorgeous. I also liked the fantasy touches. Too bad that the script itself is largely conventional and while the story itself is pretty unique, the way it's told is not. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 1, 2011)

*The Oxford Murders (2008)* - Elijah Wood and John Hurt star as two brilliant mathematicians who must solve a string of murders where the only clues are Math Symbols. It's one of those movies that has some brutal faults as well as some glorious strengths, and liking it depends on which side grabs you. It's like everything about this movie has an upside and a downside, but I enjoyed it more than not. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2011)

*Shark Night 3D (2011)* - A bunch of friends discover that the lake they're spending the weekend at is filled with sharks, and someone put them there. It would've worked a lot more if it decided whether it wanted to be an edgy, PG-13 thriller (like "Jaws", I guess) that relied on suspense or an absurd, fun, gore-tit laden exploitation flick (like "Piranha 3D"). It's too silly to be taken seriously and there isn't any real gore or nudity to be sleazy fun, but it has enough elements of both that I ultimately enjoyed it. Great looking shark effects too, by the way. 

2.5/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Sep 4, 2011)

Can't wait for The Thing 2011.

Better get some top billing here.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2011)

I can't wait for it either. My most anticipated movie of 2011.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2011)

*Fear City (1984)* - An ex-boxer hunts down a serial killer who uses martial arts on strippers. It's a sleazy, edgy, New York city drama that wears its premise well. But it is pretty uneven. It has solid characters and good actors, but it also has many unintentionally funny moments. While the fight scenes aren't bad, the kata scenes are embarrassing. The suspense is good, but they are under absurd situations. But honestly, Im much too in love with the premise to care. 

2.5/4


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## CrazyMoronX (Sep 7, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Dagon (2001)* - A nerd and his friends vacation off the coast of Spain after becoming rich. When their boat is damaged, they're forced to stay on some mysterious island full of creepy villagers. It turns out that the villagers aren't quite human and have vile plans for our protagonists. It's flawed, but as an excellent pace, loads of intensity and even a good sense of humor. Made by the guys who did the original "Re-Animator".
> 
> 3/4



I have seen that movie listed on DVD sites numerous times over the years but I never knew if it was good or not so I never watched it.


So you're saying I should watch it, right?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2011)

Sure! Not great, but I thought it was enjoyable.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 10, 2011)

*Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)* - Angela, who kills campers when they're naughty, returns to slay more campers. While there is a lot of nudity, passable kills and a few funny moments (the Jason nod), it just feels like this franchise is already tired. The filmmakers and actors don't really seem to want to do this. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 12, 2011)

*Creature (2011)* - A group of annoying characters goes to vacation in a........swamp.......and find themselves being hunted by a half-man/half-crocodile creature. While the filmmakers certainly did their best in creating a fresh and ambitious film, the whole thing feels rather......mediocre. There's a lot of explaining, but nothing really makes sense. Furthermore, while there is plenty of nudity, there isn't enough gore. I'd say its worth a rental at best. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2011)

*Apollo 18 (2011)* - A 'found footage' film about a NASA trip to the moon that goes horribly wrong when the astronauts discover they aren't along. For the first half of the movie, I was pretty bored. But when things start picking up, it becomes compelling, edgy and even a little scary.....

2.5/4


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## Mikaveli (Sep 13, 2011)

Charcan said:


> Can't wait for *The Thing 2011.*
> 
> Better get some top billing here.



Wait,        what???


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## MartialHorror (Sep 14, 2011)

lol, dont you know that a new "The Thing" movie is coming out in October?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2011)

*Red Riding Hood (2011)* - A werewolf plagues a village, so a crazy werewolf hunter has to slay it, even if it means killing the entire village to do so.....Oh wait, that's the most interesting story. It's more of a setting, as the film really wants to focus on a lame love triangle between little red riding hood and two boring ass guys. I do like the films visual style and it has some really cool concepts, but it reduces itself to just being a "Twilight" clone. Did I mention this is from the same director? 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 17, 2011)

*The Mummy's Tomb (1942)* - A sequel to "The Mummy's Hand (1940)", the iconic film everyone confuses with Boris Karloff's (boring) classic. This time Lon Chaney Jr plays the Mummy, resurrected to kill off the protagonists in the previous film along with the rest of their families. While it has a few stand out moments (some good, some laughably bad), Mummy movies have the tendency to be too much alike. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2011)

*Door Into Silence (1991)* - A man drives home from his Father's funeral, but begins to suspect that he's dead. This is the final film by director Lucio Fulci and it is one of his worst... The movie seems to be 98% padding which is comprised of mostly the guy driving, and it is painfully boring. Props to actor John Savage for doing a decent job as the protagonist though. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 29, 2011)

*Hobo With a Shotgun (2011)* - A Hobo moves to a new town where crime is rampant, so must clean up the streets with a shotgun. A throwback to grindhouse exploitation films (like "Grindhouse", "Machete", "Black Dynamite", etc) that is hilarious because it's played so straight. It doesn't need to wink at the camera, it knows it's absurd. This, added to the nonstop level of sleaze, gore and insane additions (in both plot/characters) made me have a blast with the film. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2011)

*The Mummy's Ghost (1944)* - John Carradine stars as an Egyptian (!!) priest who has been ordered to retrieve the Mummy's of Kharis (once again played by Lon Chaney Jr; who actually gets to act this time around!) and Ananka, only to find she has been reincarnated as a generic college student. It tries to be different, but ends up being the same old stuff. Still, I'm beginning to think these movies are growing on me. 

2/4


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## Rukia (Oct 13, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Red Riding Hood (2011)* - A werewolf plagues a village, so a crazy werewolf hunter has to slay it, even if it means killing the entire village to do so.....Oh wait, that's the most interesting story. It's more of a setting, as the film really wants to focus on a lame love triangle between little red riding hood and two boring ass guys. I do like the films visual style and it has some really cool concepts, but it reduces itself to just being a "Twilight" clone. Did I mention this is from the same director?
> 
> 1.5/4


Does the film at least have hot Amanda Seyfried scenes?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2011)

Rukia said:


> Does the film at least have hot Amanda Seyfried scenes?



Not really.....The love scenes are too silly to be sexy.


----------



## Hellrasinbrasin (Oct 13, 2011)

The Thing (2011)

2.5/4


----------



## Xion (Oct 14, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Let the Right One In(2008)* - A disturbed boy bonds with a vampire, resulting in a strange love. It's a mature version of "Twilight" and while it's been lauded like crazy, I found it to be a bore. I didn't appreciate how it never followed through with any of its ideas. The pool scene was awesome though.
> 
> 2/4



Just saw this. I feel like I felt when I read Roger Ebert's "review" of *Kick Ass*.

Or Owen Gleiberman's equally "compelling" (and divagating from all of the rest of the critical world's) analysis of *LTROI*. 

Although I give you props for acknowledging the subjectivity of the review process, I cannot on any level agree with your analysis on that one movie, which I easily consider the best vampire movie I have ever seen - or rather, the best nihilistic, pre-teen love drama that happens to feature a vampire.

The themes it tackles are pretty much never touched in any appreciable degree in mainstream films. Pedophilia, sexuality, youth violence, gender ambiguity/epicenity, the value of life, understanding of others, etc., let alone any modern horror film. It's ambiguity is its greatest asset. It is not heavy-handed in delivery like its sequel (which you seem to like better) nor does is potentially reduce the characters and plot to a moral dichotomic quandary. To say it's a "more mature version of Twilight," I find quite insulting to it. 

I mean the cinematography and thematic, visual leitmotifs alone make it one up Twilight several thousand times over.

Although I will be writing an in-depth review on the movie soon, I just wanted to put forth my two cents on this. As I feel the movie really deserves some strong defense. But it's certainly not a clique film; most critics who have seen it have given it rave reviews and even on Rotten Tomatoes it ranks 98/100 amongst the top critics (one review off from perfect because of one guy who apparently didn't get it - as he readily admits - and reviewed it in a blurb). Even fan-based IMDB gives it an 8.1. Metacritic an 82/100. It's not for everybody, but it's so ridiculously far from a superficial film in every respect. It's hard to find a film that runs deeper into the human condition, especially when dealing with such adult and taboo themes played out amongst children and even more so when it lithely dances around beneath the guise of a horror film.

*Let The Right One In*
4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2011)

lol, if you liked it, good for you!

*The Thing (2011) *- A prequel to John Carpenter's "The Thing" which involves a team of scientists on a Norweigen Base camp finding a mysterious alien who absorbs its prey and imitates them. Instead of dread filled atmosphere and suspense, it relies on jump scares and CGI monsters. At least it doesn't fail in that regard! 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 23, 2011)

*Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)* - A prequel that focuses on the beginnings of the haunting of Katie (heroine of "Paranormal Activity") and her sister Kristi (heroine of "Paranormal Activity 2"). It still offers plenty of chills and some horrifying moments, but the script feels more conventional and I think the concept is beginning to run out of steam. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2011)

*Grizzly Park (2008)* - A group of delinquents have to do community service at a national park, but are subsequently stalked by a serial killer who is stalked by a grizzly bear (!!). It's absurd, stupid, shoddy and silly but also surprisingly amusing, creative, inspired and ambitious. It all sort of cancels eachother out. 

2/4


----------



## Waking Dreamer (Oct 25, 2011)

Have you watched The Tunnel (2011)?

Its an Aussie horror flick...with the wobbly camera, semi-documentary style movie. I think it was quite good for a minimum budget movie.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2011)

Nope! Will add it to list tho!


----------



## Waking Dreamer (Oct 25, 2011)

Cool! Cant wait to see what you think of it.


----------



## Grape (Oct 25, 2011)

Martial is the guy who covers his eyes and ears during scary movies.


And by Martial, I mean me


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 26, 2011)

*Predator 2 (1990) *- A detective tracks down the titular creature, who hunts gangsters and cops for sport. While flawed (the acting blows), I actually found this sequel to be pretty edgy, exciting and even suspenseful. It takes the satirical edge of "Predator" that I liked and ultimately does its own thing. Still not as good though. 

3/4


----------



## Magnum Miracles (Oct 26, 2011)

Predator 2 gets too much hate . Sure it's not as great as the first one, but it's still a good movie.


----------



## gumby2ms (Oct 26, 2011)

danny glover was more badass then ever.
check out identity(2003), the fallen(denzel washington), and Eden Log(200?) if you haven't already martial.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 26, 2011)

lincoln: Yup

Gumby: Will add them to list, although I've seen the first two of them.


----------



## gumby2ms (Oct 26, 2011)

thought you would have. they are surprisingly under-rated.


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 26, 2011)

The premise for Eden Log sounds rather interesting. Man, I've got to get this list organize.d


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 5, 2011)

*The Final (2010)* - Tired of being bullied, a group of outcasts trap their tormenters in an abandoned house which is in the middle of nowhere for a night of torture. It's either a celebration of the torture porn genre or a harsh criticism of it, as the kills are never 'fun' or cool. It's unpleasant to watch, which is how I like my torture porn flicks. Too bad the script is both sort of dumb and pretentious, but it's not unbearably so. Overall, decent. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 8, 2011)

*Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)* - When a prison bus crashes in the middle of the woods, the convicts and their guards find themselves stalked by a mutated cannibal. While hardly classics, the first two films were made for us slasher fans to enjoy. This 3rd entry is easily the weakest of the trilogy, being made for slasher fans to tolerate. That's all it is. Tolerable. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 23, 2011)

*Lake Mungo (2008)* - A mockumentary about a family coming to terms with the daughters death, who might be haunting them. This is a surprisingly underrated drama-horror. It captures the grief the family goes through magnificently, but it also relies on subtle ways of creeping one out. It worked on me and dare I say I was actually...scared? Easily the best of the mockumentaries (not to be confused with found footage films). 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 29, 2011)

*Buried (2010)* - A man wakes up to find himself buried alive in a coffin. Why? Because some criminals in Iraq have left him there, wanting to ransom him for $5,000,000. If he raises the money, he will be freed. If not, he's left there to die. The movie never really leaves the coffin and you find yourself feeling the rising claustrophobia and frustration that our protagonist (played by a shockingly good Ryan Reynolds) is feeling. If anything, it might be too edgy for people. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 3, 2011)

*The Stepfather (2009)* - A serial killer who seduces divorcees and widows (who have children) in order to create the perfect family has the tendency to freak out and slay them when they disappoint him. However, the older son begins to suspect his intentions. A dumbed down, blander version of the 1987 original film as expected. But I was surprised at how tolerable it was. 

2/4


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Dec 4, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> *Grizzly Park (2008)* - A group of delinquents have to do community service at a national park, but are subsequently stalked by a serial killer who is stalked by a grizzly bear (!!). It's absurd, stupid, shoddy and silly but also surprisingly amusing, creative, inspired and ambitious. It all sort of cancels eachother out.
> 
> 2/4



Welp color me interested.

The only horror grizzly movie I can recall is... Grizzly. Old movie.

There's also Prophecy, for the silly mutated bear crowd.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 4, 2011)

Yeah, I only know of "Grizzly" too, unless theres some shoddy CGI bear movie Im not aware of.


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Dec 5, 2011)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah, I only know of "Grizzly" too, unless theres some shoddy CGI bear movie Im not aware of.



If it had a bazooka, it's the Grizzly I remember.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 6, 2011)

*Alone in the Dark (2005)* - Uwe Boll's 2nd great failure of a film stars Christian Slater as a paranormal investigator who's trying to solve the mystery of his past. Everything about it seems awkward, clumsy and confused. The plot makes no sense and the direction makes everything even more incoherent, but it has its moments. At the absolute least, it was better than the movie it followed ("House of the Dead") and the movie that would follow it ("BloodRayne"). Not saying much though... 

1.5/4


----------



## gumby2ms (Dec 6, 2011)

you suffer so others don't have to. bravo MH. but I already suffered. Slater+boll= movie hell.


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Dec 6, 2011)

If he has to suffer, I'm curious about the NF reporting on Boll's Auschwitz.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2011)

Added to netflix, but its in the save section.

Boll's worst movie is probably still "House of the Dead", followed by "BloodRayne" though. I dont see how he can return to those.


----------



## gumby2ms (Dec 7, 2011)

bloodrayne sequels? much worse.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2011)

I think BloodRayne 2> first BloodRayne. At least it looks like the low budget crap it is (whereas BloodRayne looked low budget despite not having one). Never did see the 3rd one.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 12, 2011)

*The Mummy's Curse (1944)* - An irritation expedition accidentally awakens the Mummy Kharis and his doomed love. This is the last of the Lon Chaney Jr Mummy movies and it's really the same shit we've seen before. But it also has surprisingly good direction, making it better. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 20, 2011)

*The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)* - Dr. Phibes (played by Vincent Price) is a brilliant monster who kills the doctors who failed to save his wife in ways that would make Jigsaw blush. Joseph Cotten is possibly the only one who could stop him. The film is pretty much "House of Wax" meets "Saw", but despite the familiar concept, it's wildly creative. It's a campy horror film, but it manages to be edgy and humorous. Gorgeous too! 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 28, 2011)

*Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)* - Dr. Phibes (Vincent Price) survives the events of the first film and moves to Egypt when he learns of a way to resurrect his bride. However, he finds himself at odds with an archaeologist who has a dark secret that drives him to also find the key to eternal life. It's time to kill people in crazy ways once again! The script is dumbed down and the wit is gone, leaving room for plenty of absurd gaps in logic. But the visuals are just as astounding as before, maybe even moreso this time around. Love the music too. Worth watching just to hear Price singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". 

3/4


----------



## God (Dec 29, 2011)

Reviewed the My Bloody Valentine remake?


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 30, 2011)

I think. If not, just look at the site.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2012)

*The Devil Inside (2012)* - Two priests help a woman investigate the apparent possession of her Mother, and discover this this isn't any ordinary possession. Another found footage movie that will either bore you or scare you. For the most part, people were bored, but I thought it had some decent scares and surprisingly well written characters. The ending is abnormally awful though...

2/4


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jan 11, 2012)

I searched this thread and browsed your site and saw no trace of a Brian Yuzna's Society review.

You should review it. Then Shakma. 

I see you reviewed Slugs though. Haven't seen it but the Spanish trailer was pretty funny with its campy threatening the viewer (they called it Viscous Death there ).


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 11, 2012)

lol, Ill add those as requests.

"Slugs" is one I should revisit. That might be one that gets better after each viewing.


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jan 14, 2012)

Society is totally worth it for its end sequence.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 14, 2012)

Unfortunately, netflix doesnt have a copy of society (it's in the 'saved' section, so maybe they will get it soon) and it doesnt even recognize Shakma.


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jan 14, 2012)

Shakma could be relegated to out of stock VHS and DVD semi-obscurity by now.

But as this most awesome of trailers is helpful to point out, Shakma was shocking audiences everywhere back in the day:

[YOUTUBE]D2tnp4QCKtk[/YOUTUBE]

SHAKMAAAA


----------



## James Bond (Jan 14, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)* - A prequel that focuses on the beginnings of the haunting of Katie (heroine of "Paranormal Activity") and her sister Kristi (heroine of "Paranormal Activity 2"). It still offers plenty of chills and some horrifying moments, but the script feels more conventional and I think the concept is beginning to run out of steam.
> 
> 2.5/4



Not to mention half the stuff from the trailer wasnt even in the movie.

Reviewed Dog Soldiers yet?  Also check out a movie called Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2012)

added both.
*
Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011)* - A prequel to the first Wrong Turn film which chronicles the rise of three mutated cannibals who prey upon teens who are trapped in an abandoned insane asylum somewhere in the snow infested woods. It's a step up from "Wrong Turn 3", but is not as good as the first two films. It's an acceptable slasher, complete with great kills and some suspense, but as always the script is pretty stupid. For fans of the franchise only. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 19, 2012)

*Valhalla Rising (2009)* - A former slave warrior joins a group of vikings who wish to sail to the crusades, but instead they find themselves in a mysterious land where they are picked off one by one. It's not a horror film or an action film, but instead is an arty, claustrophobic thriller with the premise of an epic. Yet it's shot and scored like a horror film and the action (when it happens) is very stylish. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2012)

*Underworld: Awakening (2012)* - This 4th installment in the franchise is easily the worst, mainly because the story is a bunch of underused ideas cobbled together. Humans enter the war, exterminating most of the Lycans and Vampires. End of subplot there. Selene (protagonist from the first two films) awakens 12 years later and learns she has a daughter. Lycans and humans want the daughter so she has to kick ass. It's plotless but even the action is too tightly edited for it to be enjoyable. The franchise has become a shallow shell of its former self. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 28, 2012)

*The Grey (2012)* - Liam Neeson stars as a hunter whose job is to protect Oil Drillers from Wolves in Alaska, and has to lead them when their plane crashes and they're all stranded in the cold, desolate wilderness. This isn't easy, as wolves are consistently on their tail. Bleak, but emotionally satisfying and intense thriller that is often frightening. Neeson was born to play this kind of role. Too bad the films marketing campaign sort of ruined the ending. 

3.5/4


----------



## Hellrasinbrasin (Jan 30, 2012)

I enjoyed The Grey I knew what the Wolf represented in the film I loved the way it cut to the credits because it left it ambiguous as to the outcome. Did he face death and win or did he face death and lose.
I did however not like that they showed that scene post credits as it negated the ambiguous of the outcome.

I liked it. 4/5


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2012)

It was good!

*Two Thousand Maniacs (1964)* - A "southern" community lures young yankees to their town so that they may kill them brutally. This is considered to be one of the best films by goremaster H.G Lewis, but I didn't like it as much as the crapfastic "Blood Feast". It has its moments, but they're lost underneath the awful comedy.  

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2012)

*Alien Vs Ninja (2009)* - A squad of Ninja investigate a mysterious "fireball" crashing down to earth, only to attacked by vicious aliens. The film has the occassional moment of dread filled atmosphere, it has the occasional sequence of suspense and it does offer a few genuinelly good fight scenes. But for the most part, the enjoyment comes from how "bad" this movie is. I laughed at- and sometimes with- the movie the entire way. 

2/4


----------



## CrazyMoronX (Feb 9, 2012)

Alien vs Ninja?


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 12, 2012)

*Dog Soldiers (2002)* - Neil Marshall ("The Descent") made his directing debut with this film, about a squad of soldiers trying to survive against a family of werewolves in the Scottish wilderness. When you think about it, the film is dumb and low on characterizations, but it is very entertaining and sometimes even frightening. But most importantly, it's always intense. ALWAYS! 

3/4


----------



## Gaawa-chan (Feb 12, 2012)

Hey, MartialHorror, have you seen Kwaidan or Kuroneko? I recommend both, though Kuroneko was a bit anti-climactic.
 KOJIMA-SAN
Dragostea Din Tei (Numa Numa)


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 13, 2012)

No, but both are on my netflix. 

Actually, I MIGHT've seen Kwaidan along time ago. Either that, or a movie that was also an anthology. Was there a tale where a dude meets a snow apparition?


----------



## Gaawa-chan (Feb 13, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> No, but both are on my netflix.
> 
> Actually, I MIGHT've seen Kwaidan along time ago. Either that, or a movie that was also an anthology. Was there a tale where a dude meets a snow apparition?



Yep.  That story is 'Yuki-Onna.' Kwaidan consists of four Japanese horror stories.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 14, 2012)

Ah.

*Night of the Demons (2009)* - This remake to the 1988 film has party goers stranded at a haunted house where demons arise and proceed to possess and butcher them. It's a pointless remake, but it is very entertaining (lots of gore/nudity) and everyone appears to be doing the best that they can in terms of making it a fun film. It often misfires, but it's fun. At the absolute least, it's better than the sequels. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2012)

*Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) *- Nicolas Cage reprises his role as Johnny Blaze, the man who transforms into a demonic superhero whenever he is in the presence of evil, in this sequel/reboot. He has to protect a Mother and her son, both whom have a dark secret. The film has no respect for continuity, forgetting plot points of the first film as well as forgetting its own plot points. In general, it's a mess with average special effects/action sequences, but it is also pretty funny. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 21, 2012)

NOTE: This is the first review to be posted on my new website. Please check it out. I'm sharing it with someone else, but here is the link to my personal homepage.



*Tremors (1990)*- An isolated town finds themselves as the new diet for underground monsters. It's frightening, action packed, funny, clever and highly creative. It's one epic sequence after another. 

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 25, 2012)

*The Burrowers (2008)* - Taking place at the end of the Wild West, a posse of soldiers and gunslingers are formed in order to rescue a family who has been abducted by Native Americans...or so they think...It turns out that they were actually taken by strange monsters that burrow in the ground. Haunting, bleak and heavy on suspense, the film blends its western locations and horror atmosphere masterfully. 

3.5/4


----------



## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Feb 26, 2012)

I suggest , especially if you're in the mood to rage some.


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Feb 26, 2012)

i saw ghost rider 2, it was much better than 1.  part 1 was generic, run of the mill, comic book origin story tripe.  

the ghost rider in pt 2 was more demonic and the action was more wicked.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 29, 2012)

Part 1 was pretty generic.

*Hostel (2005)* - Eli Roth's best movie (is that saying much?) has a bunch of horny graduates backpacking throughout Europe. They find themselves in Slovakia, but the hostel they're staying at is actually a ruse for an organization who captures tourists and sells them to rich people who can torture and kill them for a price. It does suffer some of Roth's weakness (annoying characters, bi-polar tone), but it is surprisingly suspenseful and the finale is riveting. 

3/4


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 29, 2012)

Have you seen a movie called Five Across the Eyes?  I don't think even dead people should see it.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 29, 2012)

Nope. I hear its a found footage type movie.


----------



## Penance (Feb 29, 2012)

Hrm...I don't know, then...


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2012)

HELLRAISER MONTH HAS BEGUN.

To read my reviews of Hellraiser 1 and 2, here are the links.

UBS also has staff in the United States. and 

*Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) *- An ambitious reporter witnesses a young man explode after being torn apart by chains (!!) and discovers the mysterious puzzle cube from the first two films. They traces the mystery down to a sleazy club, where she learns that the demonic entity known by us fans as Pinhead has been resurrected and plans to create hell on Earth. The film somehow manages to dumb down everything about its predecessors while also wishing to be the most intelligent of the bunch. It wants to be cerebral, but the dialogue blows and the acting makes it worse. Luckily for the movie, the bad acting/dialogue is so amusing that I never became bored. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2012)

*Gone (2012)* - A woman's sister is abducted by the killer who had tried to murder her some years ago. Or so she says. The police never found any evidense of this and dismiss her fears as dellusions from a traumatized woman. It's about as generic as the title. 

1.5/4


----------



## gumby2ms (Mar 5, 2012)

slow clap for martial. way to take the hit. After seeing the trailer I thought 'Gone' was going to be a stinker, now I'm doubly sure. It looked so bad and horrendously acted; even amongst the clips screened for commercial trailer use. hope you watched something good after to cleanse yourself.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 13, 2012)

lol.

*Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (1996)* - The film chronicles the birth of the lament configuration puzzle box in the past (1700's, I believe), its perfection in the present time and its resolution in the future. The primary protagonist relates his story to marines after he has been arrested on his space ship. However, it's revealed that he has used the puzzle box to summon Pinhead onto the space ship once and for all, so he and the marine's have to fight for their lives. WAAAAY too complicated and the behind-the-scenes drama (the studio hijacked the production) is very apparent. But it is ambitious and some scenes are pretty spectacular, especially during the 'past' sequences. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 15, 2012)

*Hellraiser V: Inferno*: A corrupt detective who cheats on his wife with hookers, frames and blackmails his partner and beats up informants desires a shot at redemption. He finds it when he is assigned to a murder case where the lament configuration puzzle box is found. He opens it, but oddly he isn't ripped apart with chains. Instead, he merely starts seeing demonic images of Pinhead and his Cenobites as he begins to lose his sanity while trying to catch a killer, who leaves the fingers of a living child at the scene of the crime. It's very different from the rest of the franchise, but is fascinating to watch. It's a psychological thriller with elements of grotesque horror and film noir sprinkled in. Easily the best in the franchise since the original. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 19, 2012)

*Silent House (2012)* - A woman finds herself trapped in her dilapidated, lakeside retreat with a violent intruder who wishes her harm. The film is well acted and shot, with some scenes even being downright scary. But it's also redundant and I deduced what the twist would be almost immediately. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 22, 2012)

*Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (2002)*- The 6th film of the franchise opens with the death of the heroine from the first two films (!!) by a freak car accident. Her husband survives, but struggles with remembering what what happened. Soon he starts to have visions of the demonic Pinhead and his Cenobites. The bulk of the movie has him entering a dream sequence/seeing a suspicious character and looking confused. The script is messy and it's just sort of dull. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 24, 2012)

*The Hunger Games (2012)* - In the future, the rich dominates the poor by having randomly selected teenagers fight each other to the death every year. The protagonist ends up being the current years (un)lucky winner, and her courage and skill might make her the person who can defeat the system once and for all. There's a lot of minor faults that bloat up the script, but it is a riveting and moving action thriller. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2012)

*Hellraiser VII: Deader (2005)* -An edgy reporter goes to Romania in order to investigate a videotape that shows a woman being resurrected by a cult. The reporter finds herself struggling with her sanity as she encounters the cult, Pinhead and the Lament Configuration. An improvement over its predecessor, but its quality comes down to your reaction to each individual scenes. Some scenes are haunting or intense and other scenes are silly or redundant. I liked it more than not because it is full of twisted and morbid ideas. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2012)

*Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld (2005)* - It's a movie movie where Pinhead and the Cenobites are characters who exist within a popular video game. The most hardcore of the gamers (super hot people) are invited to a killer party (yeah right...) by a mysterious host (played by Lance Henrikson). Then they start seeing messed up images as Pinhead shows up and begins killing them. It's a dumb teen slasher and Pinhead's presence is glaringly out of place. It made me angry because it's tone does not mix well with the other entries and eventually it just becomes boring. 

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 2, 2012)

*Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)* - Two punks go to Tijuana to party, but instead find the lament configuration which causes them to summon Pinhead (no longer played by Doug Bradley;  ). Pinhead chases the survivor back to his parents home, where the truth behind what happened is revealed. The script is actually decent, but the direction is flat and the studio slashed the budget to $300,000 (whereas previous entries were between 2-5,000,000). A missed opportunity, sadly. 

1.5/4

HELLRAISER MONTH IS OVER BITCHES!


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 5, 2012)

*[Rec] 2 (2009)*- A SWAT Team enters the building full of murderous, zombie-ish people who had been infected by 'something' in order to figure out what happened. It's very intense and sometimes even scary, but the characters vary from bland to annoying and the introduction of a group of teenagers nearly sunk the whole picture. A worthy sequel, but nothing special. 

2.5/4


----------



## Yasha (Apr 6, 2012)

AH, have you seen/reviewed _The Skin I Live In _?


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2012)

No, its on the request list but who knows when I'll get to that.


----------



## Banhammer (Apr 6, 2012)

you really didn't catch that 90% of peetaXcatniss pairing was a tv stunt to get sponsors?


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2012)

Banhammer said:


> you really didn't catch that 90% of peetaXcatniss pairing was a tv stunt to get sponsors?



It was a "hiding real feelings behind fake feelings" paring, which I thought I explained in the review. I thought that was obvious and from what I hear, the novels ultimately go down that route.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2012)

*Open Water (2003)*- A couple find themselves stranding in the middle of the ocean when their diving boat accidentally leaves them behind. They must endure their growing hostilities towards each other, the cold, hunger and even sharks but for the bulk of the movie, it's just them floating around. Still, everyone involved did their best and it does show. This movie should've been a lot worse, but it could've also been better. 

2/4


----------



## gumby2ms (Apr 10, 2012)

lol your endless list goes on. you gonna check out 'cabin in the woods' this weekend. it's horror but seems b+ at best and I suspect much lower.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2012)

yup. It's actually getting really good reviews so far,


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 12, 2012)

*Open Water 2: Adrift (2006)*- A group of friends go to celebrate one of their birthdays on a yacht in the middle of the Ocean. They go swimming and realize they forgot to put down the ladder. WHOOPS! Now they're stuck in the middle of the Ocean and have to fight off the natural elements, fatigue and growing hostilities. I found it to be surprisingly compelling and engaging, feeling here what I was supposed to feel with its (often much more praised) predecessor. The lack of sharks is pretty glaring though. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2012)

*The Cabin in the Woods (2012)*- A group of friends go to a remote cabin in the woods to party but find themselves under attack. This movie is clever, funny and intense all in one. Horror fans should love it and even detractors of the genre should like it. 

3.5/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Apr 14, 2012)

ur domain is obscene, bit fister?

also, u haven't paid ur domain fees


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## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2012)

Only if you're a pervert. Ha Ha Ha ha


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## MartialHorror (Apr 21, 2012)

*Murder by Decree (1979)*- Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to solve the infamous (real life) Jack the Ripper murders. It contains the wit and intelligence of a Sherlock Holmes story, but the atmosphere of a horror film. How can I not love it? The film is directed by Bob Clark ("Black Christmas") and Holmes is played by Christopher Plummer (who is superb). 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2012)

*Kwaidan (1964)* - An anthology of ghost stories surrounding spirits, samurai, peasants, priests and death. Each story relies on inventive editing, surreal cinematography, slow burn suspense and low key horror. But honestly, I was bored throughout most of the stories and felt like this was a misfired experiment. I did appreciate "The Lady in the Snow", however, and most viewers like it much more than I did. Maybe I was just in the wrong mood for it. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2012)

*The Thing From Another World (1951)*- A spaceship is discovered in the Antarctic, so a team of soldiers and scientists go to investigate. They bring back an alien life-form, but it escapes and starts to cause havoc. John Carpenters "The Thing", made in 1982, is supposed to be a remake of this. However, this is more science fiction than horror, so expect more talking than action. But the acting and dialogue are good and there are a few startling moments. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 29, 2012)

*The Raven (2012) *- The works of Edgar Allan Poe inspires a serial killer, whose methods are identical to the grisly deaths in Poe's literature. Poe is brought into the investigation by the police, but things become complicated when the killer abducts Poe's fiance. The narrative is a little stale, but the stylish direction and captivating characters make this a riveting horror-thriller. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 8, 2012)

*Attack the Block (2011)* - Taking place in England, a bunch of young thugs must team up with one of their victims in order to survive an alien invasion. It's a genre bending action-horror-comedy-science fiction film that delivers a little in everything when it should've delivered a lot in everything. It's good fun, but nothing spectacular. 

3/4


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## Stunna (May 8, 2012)

I love the way they say "the block".


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## MartialHorror (May 11, 2012)

*Deathwatch (2002)*- The British survivors of a fierce battle in World War 1 find themselves trapped behind enemy lines, so they take cover in a (mostly abandoned) Trench. Bodies are strewn out all over the place and it's obvious something terrible happened there. Soon, they're about to experience the same thing. I love the concept of a War/Horror hybrid and this film is suitably creepy and effective, using its location masterfully. However, the characters are thin and parts of the film are incomprehensible. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 13, 2012)

*Dark Shadows (2012)* - The 949th collaboration between Johnny Depp and Tim Burton (or maybe it was the 948th?) has Depp playing a vampire  in this adaptation of a popular horror/soap opera from the 70's. Said vampire is how he is thanks to a scorned witch and she has him buried alive for almost 200 years. He wakes up in the 70's and has to adjust to the times, connect with his descendants and defeat the witch once and for all. While it is pretty funny and looks good, there isn't enough time spent on developing...anything, for any of it to really matter. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2012)

*Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)* - Steven Spielberg, John Landis, George Miller and Joe Dante each direct a segment in this big budgeted anthology based on the TV show of the same name. It deals with racists who have to suffer from racism, the elderly getting to be young again, boys with psychic powers that enable them to create whole worlds and monsters on the wings of planes. While Miller's segment is pretty good, the rest are rather mediocre. However, what hurts this the most is the real life on-set death of Vic Morrow and two children, whose deaths loom over the entire production. It makes the film hard to watch. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 23, 2012)

*Martyrs (2008)*- Two girls track down the family who tortured one of them as a child for revenge. They get more than they bargained for. Haunting, beautifully made, bleak and royally fucked up. But it certainly left an impression...French horror>>>>>>American Horror. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 26, 2012)

*Men in Black III (2012)* - The Men in Black, an organization created to deal with aliens, now must go back in time! When Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) vanishes, it turns out that an old enemy discovered a time traveling device and killed Agent K forty years prior. Agent J (Will Smith) has to also go back in time to stop this from happening. It is harmless and entertaining, but considering its alleged $250,000,000 budget and talented cast, it feels underdeveloped and underwhelming. It's been said that they began production without a completed script and it shows. Josh Brolin is amazing as the younger Agent K and at the absolute least, it's better than "Men in Black 2". 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 29, 2012)

*Chernobyl Diaries (2012)*- A group of friends do some extreme touring by making a visit to the abandoned city of Prypiat, which was evacuated after the Chernobyl disaster due to radiation levels. Once there, they find themselves stranded and being hunted by something. The film is actually fairly scary up until the end, where the final twist completely ruins everything. Seriously, nothing makes sense thanks to the revelation. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2012)

*Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)*- Snow White is chased by an Evil Queen, who recruits a huntsman to bring the girl to her. Snow White is the latest fairy tale to get the big epic treatment. It's actually a fairly acceptable "Lord of the Rings" clone, being more interested in showcasing gorgeous visuals, which distracted me from the confused script. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 5, 2012)

*Funny Games (1997)*- Two psychotic teenagers abduct and torment a family of three, all the while winking at the camera and breaking the fourth wall. It's a conventional home invasion movie that thinks it's better than the rest of its ilk by continuously pointing out the conventions. Hey movie, reminding us that you suck is not going to make you suck any less! 

1/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Jun 5, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Chernobyl Diaries (2012)*- A group of friends do some extreme touring by making a visit to the abandoned city of Prypiat, which was evacuated after the Chernobyl disaster due to radiation levels. Once there, they find themselves stranded and being hunted by something. The film is actually fairly scary up until the end, where the final twist completely ruins everything. Seriously, nothing makes sense thanks to the revelation.
> 
> 2/4



Chernobyl and surroundings are creepy on their own.

I hear there's irradiated wasps around there.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 10, 2012)

*Prometheus (2012)*- A space expedition travels to a remote planet, searching for the beings that created humanity. It doesn't go as planned. It's not really a horror film, but it does have some intense and frightening moments. The visual style is gorgeous and menacing, but the script is uneven. You have a unique, thought provoking film doing battle with a bland, conventional movie full of stupid moments. Liking the film depends on what you notice the most: The good writing, the bad writing or the visual style. It's a prequel to "Alien". 

3/4


----------



## Mider T (Jun 10, 2012)

Did you change your rating on Prometheus?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 10, 2012)

Nope, was always meant to be a 3 star rating? Why?


----------



## Mider T (Jun 10, 2012)

Thinking about Rukia, my bad.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 13, 2012)

*The Gingerdead Man: Evil Never Tasted So Good (2005)* - When a serial killer (Gary Busey) is executed, his soul inhabits a gingerbread man, causing him to become...the gingerdead man. His target? The girl who got him convicted with her testimony. I expected a crappy-but-fun splatter film and instead I got a soap opera where people talk about their feelings a lot. It has its moments, but is usually just boring. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 21, 2012)

*Seventh Moon (2008)* - From one of the co-directors of "The Blair Witch Project", who for some reason dropped off the radar immediately after that became the most successful horror film ever made, comes a story of a young couple honeymooning in China. Through events I'm too lazy to explain, they find themselves stranded in an isolated village where something hunts them. The film does contain some scary moments, but the camerawork is too jittery and apparently the filmmakers forgot to light every shot in this movie. It's frustrating because it's almost a very good movie, but it's failures are devastating. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 24, 2012)

*Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)* - When he witnesses his Mother being killed by a vampire, Abraham Lincoln becomes a vampire hunter. But soon, he realizes that he would be much more effective if he became the President and freed the slaves, whom the vampires prey upon because no one would notice. So begins the Civil War, which was actually waged not only to unify the country, but also to drive out the vampires. It sports some highly inventive and stylized action sequences, but is awkwardly paced. Still, I primarily enjoyed this because it takes itself so seriously, which I find hilarious. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 30, 2012)

*Funny Games (2007)* - Two psychopaths invade a vacation home and hold the family hostage. It's pretty much identical to the original 1997 film and is technically, just as good...or bad, if like me, you hated the first film. At least the director has the sense to have Naomi Watts spend an extended period of time in her underwear. 

1/4


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Jul 2, 2012)

final destination 5 was the only one with a decent story structure


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2012)

I think FD1 had better story structure- based on memory anyway- but otherwise, I sort of agree. FD2 (which I still prefer) and FD4 were just more about carnage and FD3 was a rehash of 1. 

But FD5 still felt bland to me.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2012)

*Black Death (2010)*- Set during the prime of the black plague, a young monk joins a band of Knights who are bent on finding a witch in a mysterious village. But nothing is what it seems. It genre-bends horror, thriller, action, adventure and somehow manages to be a movie about faith. It's grim, bleak and very bold. Not for everybody, but was exactly the kind of movie that I needed. 

3.5/4


----------



## Ae (Jul 11, 2012)

Have you seen Oldboy man?


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2012)

Yeah, good but overrated.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2012)

*Burning Bright (2010)*- A teenager finds herself trapped in her own house with a vicious tiger and an even worse terror, her annoying, autistic brother (eep!). She can't escape because there's a hurricane outside, so the house is boarded up. Can they survive? Props to the movie for using real tigers instead of CGI. It has some intense moments, but its brand of terror eventually runs out of steam. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 24, 2012)

*Dark Mirror (2007)*- Family moves into new house and the wife begins to see ghostly images. Soon, people start dying. But is the house haunted or is she the killer? Give the movie about 30 seconds and you will be able to answer that yourself. Very cliched and the directors execution is super flat. Veeery boring. 

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2012)

*The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)* - A little pervert who obsesses over "The Human Centipede" movie starts abducting people in order to create his own -12 person- human centipede. What is a human centipede? Sewing someone's mouth to another persons anus, so multiple people share the same digestive tract. It shows everything in explicit detail, but somehow managed to be the most boring movie I've seen in YEARS!!!!!! I wouldn't call it terrible, but I certainly hated it.  

0.5/4


----------



## Uncle Acid (Jul 29, 2012)

I thought that The Human Centipide was a decent film. It wasn't amazing, and not a must-see movie, but I liked it, and I like "gross", or just movies that are far out, a lot. Much of what made the movie somewhat entertaining was Dieter Laser, who I thought was very good. The Human Centipide II on the other hand, was really boring and I thought they just tried way too hard with that one, and it made the first one a little worse as well. Laurence R. Harvey didn't do very well, and the whole black and white thing was totally out of place.
While the first one made me go "oh, ew!" a few times, number 2 just made me go "Zzzzzznor! Finished soon?". Not looking forward to number three, but I gotta watch it when it comes anyway, since I've already watched the two first.


I'm enjoying your movie review website by the way. Good stuff.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2012)

Thanks. Yeah, the first one was alright.


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 7, 2012)

*The Gate (1987)* - Three kids who were left home alone for the weekend accidentally unleash a horde of pint sized demons, who proceed to terrorize the trio. I grew up with this movie, so there's a lot of nostalgia here. As a kid, I adored its blend of terror and cheese. Unfortunately, I haven't grown up much since then... I love it, but it's not for everyone. 

3/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Aug 8, 2012)

martial, since total recall is said to have stuck more to the book, did it watch as more a sci fi movie than a summer blockbuster? or was it still dumbed down?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2012)

NarutoSimpsonUltimate said:


> martial, since total recall is said to have stuck more to the book, did it watch as more a sci fi movie than a summer blockbuster? or was it still dumbed down?



lol, well I do have a review of it...

I haven't read the book, but it seemed dumbed down to me.


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## MF NaruSimpson (Aug 9, 2012)

i'm an ardent anti spoilists, so i can't read the spoilers of a movie reinterpretation of a movie i've watched already


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## MartialHorror (Aug 9, 2012)

NarutoSimpsonUltimate said:


> i'm an ardent anti spoilists, so i can't read the spoilers of a movie reinterpretation of a movie i've watched already



lol, I usually try to avoid spoilers. The only problem with that movie is while I don't state a few things outright, if you've ever seen any movie before, you can probably connect the dots rather easily. So maybe it's best you don't risk it.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2012)

*Cyrus: Mind of a Serial Killer (2010)* - Danielle Harris plays an ambitious reporter who is interviewing a small-town dude (Lance Henriksen) who claims he knew a notorious serial killer named Cyrus (Brian Krause). He tells her the story of Cyrus as he started off as a nice man who turned into a serial killer who cooked the meat of his victims and fed them to people. It's actually fairly compelling up until the ending, where the finale is painfully idiotic and predictable. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 16, 2012)

*Tetsuo, The Iron Man (1989)* - Weird shit happens to a business man as he begins to morph into an....iron man! It's purely an arthouse film, sacrificing story, character and any sense of pacing for the sake of metaphor and symbolism. It is better than most though because the gross-out, body horror is highly creative and extreme. It's not not my cup of coffee though. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 25, 2012)

*Fallen (1998) *- Denzel Washington stars as a detective who became famous after catching a brutal serial killer (Elias Koteas). The killer is executed, but it turns out that he wasn't really the murderer. The real villain is a demon who possesses people through touch and he is determined to make the detectives life a living hell. A very good thriller that works primarily because of its great cast and interesting ideas.  

3.5/4


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## James Bond (Aug 25, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Tetsuo, The Iron Man (1989)* - Weird shit happens to a business man as he begins to morph into an....iron man! It's purely an arthouse film, sacrificing story, character and any sense of pacing for the sake of metaphor and symbolism. It is better than most though because the gross-out, body horror is highly creative and extreme. It's not not my cup of coffee though.
> 
> 2/4



Is that the movie where the iron man tried to fuck a woman and killed her?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2012)

James Bond said:


> Is that the movie where the iron man tried to fuck a woman and killed her?



yup. That's the one.


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## gumby2ms (Aug 26, 2012)

lol guess now i have an idea how long your list is. man i loved the fallen?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2012)

*Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)*- A demonic bed preys upon unsuspecting visitors. Oddly, the director does his best to make an arthouse film despite having to work with such a daft concept. The movie has a lot of good (the visuals), bad (the pacing) and so bad it's good (the acting) elements. But beyond everything, it's just...weird. 

2/4


----------



## Zhen Chan (Sep 4, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Fallen (1998) *- Denzel Washington stars as a detective who became famous after catching a brutal serial killer (Elias Koteas). The killer is executed, but it turns out that he wasn't really the murderer. The real villain is a demon who possesses people through touch and he is determined to make the detectives life a living hell. A very good thriller that works primarily because of its great cast and interesting ideas.
> 
> 3.5/4



Hell yeah loved that movie


----------



## Bear Walken (Sep 4, 2012)

MH, did you ever get around to watching ? The Chuck Norris flick where he plays a Sheriff who has to stop this Michael Myers like psychopath.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2012)

No, but I made sure it was on my requests list.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2012)

*R-Point (2004)* - Korean horror film that takes place during the Vietnam War. A small squad of soldiers is sent to investigate the mystery of a lost platoon, but instead find themselves stuck in enemy territory. The problem is their enemy doesn't appear to be the Viet Cong. Turns out ghosts plague the area. Very spooky, sometimes even becoming exceptionally scary. But the characters are simultaneously indistinguishable and annoying. 

3/4


----------



## Yasha (Sep 8, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)* - A little pervert who obsesses over "The Human Centipede" movie starts abducting people in order to create his own -12 person- human centipede. What is a human centipede? Sewing someone's mouth to another persons anus, so multiple people share the same digestive tract. It shows everything in explicit detail, but somehow managed to be the most boring movie I've seen in YEARS!!!!!! I wouldn't call it terrible, but I certainly hated it.
> 
> 0.5/4



How explicit? Did they show scat?


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2012)

Pudding said:


> How explicit? Did they show scat?



Yup. This movie is even more disgusting than "Visitor Q", although less weird.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2012)

*The Beast Must Die (1974)* - A wealthy, arrogant, big game hunter invites various guests to his rigged estate because he believes one of them is a werewolf. The movie is "10 Little Indians" with a wolf and it's generally a fun time. The cast includes Peter Cushing, Michael Gambon and many other familiar faces (the protagonist was the Drug Lord in "Predator 2"), while the direction is as creative as it can be. Too bad they couldn't afford any werewolf makeup effects, so they literally just use a freaking dog. But when it's not embarrassing itself like that, it's pretty compelling. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2012)

*Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) *- The 5th entry in the stupid- but sometimes fun- franchise has zombie/monster killer Alice stuck in another Umbrella facility. She has to fight her way out once again, but not only does she have to fight monsters and zombies, she has to take on clones of past allies. The action is good, but I found myself frustrated at how it wasted some really good ideas (like the clone thing). 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 18, 2012)

*Dead Birds (2004)* - A group of Confederate Soldiers- who robbed gold from their own side and deserted-stay the night at a deserted plantation. Whoops, it's haunted! I like the premise, but it's underutilized and the final product is painfully conventional. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2012)

*The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)* - A group of friends take a detour in a small town during a road trip, and find themselves hunted by a deranged family. The biggest threat is a deformed psychopath who wields a chainsaw and wears people's skin. It's nowhere near as good as the original, but it is pretty well made. At the absolute least, it's better than the majority of the sequels. 

2.5/4


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## Zhen Chan (Sep 25, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) *- The 5th entry in the stupid- but sometimes fun- franchise has zombie/monster killer Alice stuck in another Umbrella facility. She has to fight her way out once again, but not only does she have to fight monsters and zombies, she has to take on clones of past allies. The action is good, but I found myself frustrated at how it wasted some really good ideas (like the clone thing).
> 
> 2/4




More than a 1 out of 4


HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING YOU!


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2012)

lol, I can't resist hot chicks kicking zombie ass! It's a fetish!


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## MartialHorror (Oct 1, 2012)

*The New Daughter (2009)* - Kevin Costner stars as a recently divorced writer who moves to a nice house in the woods in order to bond with his children. But his daughter becomes possessed by something and Costner has to discover what terror lurks in forest. This concept has been done to death and the question boils down to "how annoying will the daughter be?". The answer? Very annoying. I was pretty bored until the ending, which is surprisingly awesome. It was a bit too late though...

2/4


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 1, 2012)

Watched that one on TV a couple of days ago. Thought it was really poor. Kevin Costner looked so uninspired that I had problems watching it at times.

Agreed about the ending being good though, but not good enough to make me give the movie mroe than 4/10.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 1, 2012)

All the ending really did was make the rest of the film seem even worse.


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## Vault (Oct 1, 2012)

New daughter getting 2/4 lol come on man.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 8, 2012)

*The Heroic Trio (1993)* - Three super human, female warriors (Anita Mui, Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung) must unite to stop an evil villain. It is a campy, action packed, wiru fu, horror, fantasy extravaganza packed with bad (but inventive) special effects. It's laughable a lot of the time, but there is something really cool about it. I had a lot of fun. 

3/4


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## Stunna (Oct 8, 2012)

check out Speed Racer guys

legit flick


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## MartialHorror (Oct 15, 2012)

*Sinister (2012)* - A writer (Ethan Hawke) moves his family into a new house, not telling them that they are now living in the home where an entire family was butchered. This unsolved mystery is the subject of his new book, but during his investigations, he begins to realize that something paranormal haunts the place. We've seen this story done before, but it's creepy enough to be worth watching. 

3/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 17, 2012)

hey martial. good review on sinister.  ethan hawke made the movie, as well as the writing up to a certain point.  i agree that 
*Spoiler*: __ 



ghost kids


 made the movie unravel too fast, tbh i thought this started with the "computer screen" scene.  

i think the movie could have been written to have a more explosive payoff if these things happened much closer together and towards the end.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2012)

Thanks.

*Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)* - A family is terrorized by the malevolent supernatural entity from the previous films when they agree to temporarily take in a mysterious boy. It's just a rehash of the previous films, but the jump scares aren't as effective and problems with the script are more glaring. They don't even try to explain why the girl is filming conversations with strangers in the middle of the day. Not terrible, just lazy. 

1.5/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 21, 2012)

i watched PA 4.  being a fan of the franchise i was disappointed.  Very few advancements in this story , despite some twist in the end.  i can't say i'm really wanting for a PA 5 at this point.  

the movie did have plenty of loli though.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2012)

*Dororo (2007)* - A warrior- with an artificial body- teams up with a young thief in order to track down and slay the 47 demons who stole all of his appendages as an infant. The film starts off strong, but around the half way point it descends into sheer camp. The monsters become increasingly faker and the comedy becomes more slapstick. Yet it also crams in lots of sappy melodrama. Still, when it works, it's pretty cool. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2012)

*The Innkeepers (2011)*- An Inn that is said to be haunted is finally closing down. The remaining two employees hope they can find evidence of the supernatural. A very unique and odd horror movie that follows its own set of rules. This is impressive considering how conventional 'paranormal' movies have become. I would've liked it, but I just found the characters too annoying and their interactions too uncomfortable. Still, I respect it. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2012)

*Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (2012)*- Heather Mason is the new identity of young Sharon from the first movie. Apparently her Mother smuggled her out of the hellish silent Hill and her Father (Sean Bean) is trying to protect her by moving her place to place. When her Dad is abducted, she's instructed to return to Silent Hill if she ever wishes to see him again. The monsters and sets are impressive, but we've already seen those in the previous movie. It tries to mend the continuities of the game and its predecessor, but it backfires and the script is a confusing mess. 

1.5/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 30, 2012)

lol, i watched REC again, even though i knew the whole movie, it was still creepy.  it's hard to sleep after watching that movie.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2012)

yeah.

*Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)* - The 6th entry of the franchise has the unstoppable, masked, serial killer Michael Myers finally kill Jamie Lloyd. But she has given birth to a child and it's up to Dr. Loomis (Donand Pleasence, in his final role) and Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd, strangely) to stop him. It won't be easy, as it turns out that Michael is being backed my a mysterious cult, lead by the Man in Black (from the previous film). Many deem this to be the worst "Halloween" movie, but I disagree. I look at it as a hardcore slasher with style, even if the script is disastrous. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2012)

*Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)*- An aspiring slasher lets a film crew follow them so they can make a documentary about his rise to infamy. In a world where Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger exists, this almost makes sense. It has a great deadpan sense of humor that's used rather creativity. I had a blast. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2012)

*Julia's Eyes (2010)*- A woman who is slowly losing her eyesight, investigates the mysterious death of her twin sister. It's a Spanish throwback to the Italian Giallo subgenre, complete with flashy, experimental camerawork, lots of suspense and brutal violence. Unfortunately, the middle block turns the film into a cheap melodrama. But the acting is good and the 1st/3rd acts are both stylish and edgy. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2012)

*Gothic (1986)*- A "what if?" retelling of the party where Mary Shelly conceived "Frankenstein". Shelly and her fellow poets have a bizarre seance that causes their nightmares to manifest into reality. Strange, surreal horror film that feels like a bad acid trip. But in a good way! It's not for everyone, but I loved it. 

3.5/4


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## The Bite of the She-Wolf (Nov 23, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Gothic (1986)*- A "what if?" retelling of the party where Mary Shelly conceived "Frankenstein". Shelly and her fellow poets have a bizarre seance that causes their nightmares to manifest into reality. Strange, surreal horror film that feels like a bad acid trip. But in a good way! It's not for everyone, but I loved it.
> 
> 3.5/4



Ha I only remembered this one for the zooming Halloween esque skull intro.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 2, 2012)

*The Collection (2012)*- The sequel to the 2009 "The Collector", which ended with its thief-protagonist being taken by the killer and locked in a box. He escapes, but at the expense of some rich girl. Her Father sends his right hand man and a group of mercenaries to recruit the thief, so he can lead them to the bloody serial killer. The Collector's weapon of choice? Deadly traps and once they find his hideout, you can guarantee that he's got the place rigged. It's pretty ridiculous, making the contrivances in "Saw" seem tame. But it's got a lot of energy behind it and the movie offers plenty of nasty deaths. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 8, 2012)

*Below (2002)*- Set during World War 2, strange happenings occur aboard a submarine. Not only do they have to dodge a German Warship that is intent on destroying them, the vessel begins to malfunction and they realize that a paranormal entity is haunting them. I liked the film when it was being a submarine-thriller, as the tension and psychological terror was heavy. When the ghosts start actually appearing, it just doesn't work as well. Still, pretty good! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 11, 2012)

*The Invisible Man (1933)*- A scientists finds a way to turn himself invisible, but he's now stuck in this form and he starts going insane. From there, he terrorizes the locals of a village and the police must stop him. Surprisingly bold and daring, considering the time. It also has a nasty sense of humor too. It does take some time getting used too though. Probably my favorite of the golden age of horror classics. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 14, 2012)

*Sector 7 (2011)*- Oil workers find themselves being hunted by a bloodthirsty monster, while being stranded on their oil rig. A South Korean monster movie that tries to genre-bend horror, drama and comedy, but all it does is create a glaringly bi-polar tone. Just imagine "The Host", if "The Host" sucked. 

1.5/4


----------



## James Bond (Dec 14, 2012)

MartialHorror said:


> *Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)*- An aspiring slasher lets a film crew follow them so they can make a documentary about his rise to infamy. In a world where Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger exists, this almost makes sense. It has a great deadpan sense of humor that's used rather creativity. I had a blast.
> 
> 3.5/4



I really liked this movie as well even with that guy who's in like every cheesy cheap horror movie.


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 19, 2012)

*Don't Answer the Phone! (1980)* - A serial rapist/killer preys on women by strangling them to death. He targets a hotline psychiatrist and it's up to a cop-on-the-edge to stop him. It would be hilariously bad, not unlike "Blood Feast" or "Troll 2", if it wasn't a freaking rape movie. 

1.5/4


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Dec 30, 2012)

hey martial, i thought you reviewed V/h/s, but i can't find it on your site.  What's up with that?


----------



## MartialHorror (Dec 31, 2012)

I havent reviewed it. That was Tetra. Shall I add it to the request list?


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Dec 31, 2012)

yeah, it's worth talking about


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2013)

Alright.

Top 12 favorite Films of 2012 (includes my most hated experiences).


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Jan 3, 2013)

interesting list martial


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 6, 2013)

*Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) *- A girl learns she was adopted by a notorious family, whose last remaining member has left her a mansion. Unfortunately, the mansion comes with Leatherface, a demented serial killer who eats people. I'd say it was the weakest entry in the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" franchise, but luckily for the movie, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" happens to exist. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 7, 2013)

*28 Days Later (2002)*- A man (Cillian Murphy) wakes up in a hospital only to discover that Britain has been overrun by an infection that turns its victims into bloodthirsty maniacs. This was a very important movie for the zombie subgenre, inspiring quite a few imitations. What's funny is that it's not really a zombie movie itself. It's good, being both moody and exciting, but the pacing is sort of erratic. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2013)

*Silent Night (2012)*- A serial killer dressed in a Santa suit goes around slaying naughty people on Christmas eve. It's a loose remake of "Silent Night, Deadly Night", but it's not as good. Still, it's a reasonably entertaining slasher. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 21, 2013)

*28 Weeks Later (2007)*- This sequel to "28 Days Later" reveals that the outbreak, which turned the infected into bloodthirsty maniacs, died out. The Government tries repopulating the area, but shockingly, it returns. Whereas the first film was a character driven drama that was shot like an arthouse feature, this is a grittier movie that emphasizes action and horror set pieces. Enjoying it comes down to what you think about the change of focus. I liked it though. 

3/4


----------



## Huey Freeman (Jan 21, 2013)

Still waiting for 28 months later.


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 28, 2013)

*Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2012)*- This sequel/recreation to the classic fairy tale has Hansel and Gretel growing up to become witch hunters, who are hired to save a town's children from the nefarious plans of a covenant of witches. It's dumb, but fun. But it's also one of the few movies I've seen where the 3-D is MUCH better than the film itself. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 7, 2013)

*Horror Express (1972)*- Christopher Lee stars as an Anthropologist who brings the remains of what he presumes is the Missing Link upon a trans-Siberian train with the intent of bringing them back to Europe. Unfortunately, it's not the missing link...and it's alive...and it's killing people and absorbing their memories, becoming smarter in the process. Pretty good Science Fiction/Horror hybrid that works primarily due to the epic cast. It's pretty silly in parts, but it always kept me attention. Peter Cushing and Telly Savalas co-star, along with plenty of other recognizable faces. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 10, 2013)

*The Ward (2010)*- A rebellious woman is caught burning down a farm house for reasons she cannot remember, so is sent to a mental institution during the 1960's. She is subsequently plagued by visions of a nasty specter and her fellow inmates start vanishing. This marked the big return for John Carpenter ("Halloween", "The Thing"), but while it has its moments, it's nothing spectacular. The ending was HORRIBLE. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2013)

*Identity (2003)* - Various strangers find themselves stranded in an isolated motel due to a nasty storm. It turns out a killer is amongst them and....you know....People start dying. Very ambitious murder mystery (modeled after Agatha Christie's "10 little Indians") that's compelling, but a little easy to deduce. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to know where the story is going. Still, the impressive cast and suspense keep everything flowing rather nicely. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2013)

*Stage Fright (1987)*- A maniac escapes from a mental institution and finds refuge in a building designed for Stage Plays. He proceeds to slaughter the thespians, one by one. This slasher-giallo hybrid was the big, directorial debut of Michele Soavi ("Cemetery Man") and it was a good start. It's definitely...weird...and is definitely an acquired taste. But if you can accept the movies bizarre logic, you can then embrace the style, suspense and gore. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 24, 2013)

*Dark Skies (2013)* - A family is harassed by an unseen menace....aliens....despite the new villains, this is just another shallow entry in the current trend of horror that likely born from "Paranormal Activity", although its roots go back all the way to "Poltergeist". We've seen this movie many, many, many times before. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 27, 2013)

*Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)*- William Shatner and Woody Strode star in this science fiction/horror 'nature on a rampage' movie about man-eating spiders that invade a small town. It starts off bad, but becomes 'so bad, it's good', but somehow evolves into exceptional by the end. I really ended up liking this, flaws and all. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2013)

*V/H/S (2012)* - A group of criminals sneak into a mysterious home in order to seal some old VHS tapes. This is an anthology film, complete with 6 different 'found footage' stories, five of them being shown when they start to watch the tapes. The quality of each segment is erratic- some being good, some being bad- and I didn't quite agree with how everything was spliced together. But it's one of the more ambitious and creative found footage features and sometimes it is really scary. 

2.5/4


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Mar 4, 2013)

so u finally got a round to watching vhs.  i agreed with most of ur review, the honey moon one still goes over my head, i'm not sure if i missed something in an artistic sense, or if it just failed to do what it was supposed to do...


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 18, 2013)

*Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)*- John (Scott Adkins) is mercilessly beaten by Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme), who proceeds to murder his wife and child despite the fact that he is the PROTAGONIST OF THIS FRANCHISE. To make matters even stranger, apparently Luc has allied himself with his past nemesis, Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren). John swears vengeance. It's completely changes the style and tone of the "Universal Soldier" movies, being a psychological, moody descent into madness instead of action. Although when the action does happen, it's pretty spectacular. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 3, 2013)

*Maximum Overdrive (1986)*- Stephen King's directorial debut was considered a major disaster upon being released, but has now developed a cult following that I am apart of. A comet passes earth, turning machines against humanity. A group of survivors find themselves stranded in a gas station, surrounded by killer trucks. It's insanely campy, but I had a lot of fun with it. 

2.5/4


----------



## Ennoea (Apr 3, 2013)

King doesn't even remember the 80s, the man was so high he had no idea what the fuck he was doing. yet he wrote some absolutely stellar books so cocaine really is a hell of a drug.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2013)

*Evil Dead (2013)* - A group of friends stay at an old cabin in the woods in order to help one of their own kick a cocaine addiction. But they are idiots, so they accidentally unleash the forces of hell, which proceed to feast upon their souls. I don't know why so many are in love with this, as it's a relatively typical splatterfest. Bad writing, lots of gore. Nowhere near as successful as the original 1981 film of the same name. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 13, 2013)

*Stake Land (2010)*- The world has been overrun by vampires, cultists and crazies...a handful of survivors try to survive. It's a story filled with many interesting ideas, characters and situations. The world itself is captivating and it's shocking they were able to do this despite having a low budget. There's a lot of action and horror too, so it's not too critic-y. It's not perfect, but it's good. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 23, 2013)

*Stag Night (2008)*- A group of idiots find themselves deserted in an abandoned subway station. It turns out a family of cannibals nest there and hunt the group throughout the empty tunnels. Everything about this movie pissed me off. 

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 7, 2013)

*BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2010)*- The half vampire/half human hybrid known as Rayne hunts Nazi's and Vampires during World War 2. After making some decent flicks, director Uwe Boll decides to deliver what might be his worst film since "House of the Dead". It just sucks on every level. Even Michael Pare looks ashamed and Michael Pare has been in plenty of Uwe Boll movies before...

1/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 10, 2013)

*Dread (2009)* - A troubled man who witnessed his parents get brutally murdered by an axe wielding maniac teams up with two film students in order to investigate fear. It's more of a psychological thriller than it is horror, but the final product is sort of uneven. I liked the characters and the finale, but there's a lot of padding and the story is unfocused. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 14, 2013)

*Outpost (2007)*- Mercenaries are hired to investigate an old, dilapidated bunker that was occupied by the Nazi's during World War II. Unfortunately for them, the ghosts of said Nazi's are now haunting the place. Flawed, but pretty good, especially when considering its (low) budget. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 25, 2013)

*Smiley (2012)* - A girl with a history of mental illness discovers that an Urban Legend- about a serial killer who targets people in web-chats- might be true. Or is she just going crazy? A relatively conventional slasher that almost benefits from the badness of the acting and dialogue, primarily because said badness gives it an identity. Otherwise, it would just be dull. Although granted, it's not good when the best thing about your movie is that it's bad. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 31, 2013)

*Uninvited (1988)*- A mutant-feline finds itself aboard a yacht filled with criminals, bimbos and douchebags. It subsequently develops a taste for human flesh. For the record, it was brought aboard the boat by one of the girls, so technically it was invited. It's bad. Abnormally bad. But it's hilarious in its badness, so I personally enjoyed it. Even if it was for all the wrong reasons. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 9, 2013)

*Tucker & Dale Vs Evil (2010)*- A group of teenagers go partying in the woods, but one of their own is captured by a pair of bloodthirsty hillbillies. They have to fight to rescue her. Except there's just one problem...said hillbillies are actually Tucker and Dale, the protagonists of the story. They aren't bloodthirsty, nor did they capture anyone. It's all been a misunderstanding and now they have to fight off bloodthirsty teenagers. A goofball comedy that cleverly deconstructs the hillbilly slasher movie. It's pretty hilarious, but it loses steam during the finale. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 11, 2013)

*Lake Placid (1999)* - Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson and the chick from "Bloodrayne 2" and "Bloodrayne 3" must team up to stop a giant killer crocodile at a lake that isn't called Lake Placid. It's a horror-comedy, but it has no idea how suspense or atmosphere works and the comedy is loudly obnoxious. It has its fans, but I'm not one of them. Followed by THREE sequels, although I've only seen "Lake Placid 2", which also sucked. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 17, 2013)

*Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)* - Ricky, a martial artist with super human strength, is sent to prison because he killed the man responsible for his girlfriends death. Ricky now must contend with the sadistic warden, his assistant warden and four martial artists with their own inhuman abilities. The fights rely not on choreography, but on extreme violence. Heads get crushed, fists impale stomachs, people strangle each-other with their own intestines and that's just the tip of the iceberg. The effects are often pretty laughable, but that only adds to the films entertainment level. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 21, 2013)

*World War Z (2013)*- A U.N investigator searches for the cause- and cure- for a zombie pandemic that has consumed the world. It's an entertaining summer blockbuster with flashes of brilliance. If that's what you want, that's what you'll get. Too bad it can't overshadow its troubled production though. Still, fun stuff. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 29, 2013)

*Dead Sushi (2012)*- When killer mutant zombie sushi attack the inhabitants of an inn, it's up to a sushi chef-in-training (Rina Takeda) to use her karate skills to stop the sushi apocalypse. But this isn't going to be easy, as the sushi are evolving, learning how to breath fire, reproduce and use karate as well. Clearly this is the greatest movie of all time, causing all other supposed classics to bow down in submission to its awesome power. The director is known for his shock films, such as "Robogeisha", "Machine Gun Girl" and "Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead" (which I need to see NOW). 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2013)

*Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996)*- Fred Ward reprises his role as Earl, who is hired to help exterminate Graboids- giant, underground, man-eating worms- in Mexico. Everything goes smoothly until the Graboids start evolving...Incredibly entertaining sequel to "Tremors", it brings back much of what made its predecessor so enjoyable. The only problem? The first film is just so much better. Still, it's more than worthy of bearing the "Tremors" name, which is more than I can say about some of the follow-ups...

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 7, 2013)

*Perkins' 14 (2009)* - Haunted by the abduction of his son 10 years ago, a troubled cop alienates himself from his family. His only hope for redemption is that a mysterious prisoner in the holding cell, named Perkins is showing signs that he might be the abductor. It turns out he's correct. Perkins is a serial abductor who has brainwashed his victims into becoming murderous, mindless maniacs and he is about to have them unleashed into their small town. It's too absurd to be taken seriously, but too bleak to be considered 'fun. Not bad though. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2013)

*Shaun of the Dead (2004)*- Two slackers realize they have to actually do something in life when the dead start coming back to life. Directed by Edgar Wright, "Shaun of the Dead" works because it is an exceptional comedy, an exceptional parody of the zombie genre and an exceptional zombie flick too. It works on all levels. Even though it was made in England, I thought the humor had universal appeal. Although then again, I do like British humor. 

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2013)

*Pacific Rim (2013)*- When giant monsters attack from the bottom of the Ocean, humanity builds giant robots in order to combat them. It's fun, but I guess I was expecting more. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2013)

*Mama (2013)*- Two girls survive in the wilderness due to protection from a ghost they call 'Mama'. When they are found, they are sent to stay with their uncle and his girlfriend, Annabel (Jessica Chastain). It's not awful, but I didn't like it due to it being overly conventional. Whenever it does do something unique, it's because the the tone is failing miserably (the attempts at humor and the finale feeling more akin to a Tim Burton dark fantasy than the previously established horror flick). But mainly, I'm just bored of the formula. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 20, 2013)

*The Conjuring (2013)*- A family recruits a pair of paranormal investigators when their house turns out to be haunted. From the director of "Saw" and "Insidious" comes the scariest of all the post-"Paranormal Activity" themed horror flicks. It really did a great job at getting under the skin and inducing fake heart attacks. Yikes. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 30, 2013)

*Rubber (2010)*- A group of spectators watch a tire come to life and start killing people using psychic powers...although it mostly just rolls around. I was expecting an intentionally so bad-it's good B-horror film, instead I got a boring arthouse flick that thinks it's much smarter than it really is. At least its consistently bizarre, which puts it above those awful "Funny Games" movies. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 1, 2013)

*Saw (2004)*- Two men wake up in a dilapidated bathroom, unsure how they got there. It turns out a sadistic serial killer known as Jigsaw has made them his latest victim. But instead of killing his prey directly, he puts them in horrific scenarios where they either survive at a cost or die trying. They must work together, but can they trust each-other? This movie was so successful that it spawned 6 sequels and an ENTIRE trend known as 'torture porn', even though this movie leaves most of the violence to the imagination. While it's rough around the edges, it is a gripping thriller that still manages to be effective even though the ending has since become cliched. 

3.5/4


----------



## Powerful Lord (Aug 2, 2013)

From yur reviews i have to disagree about AVP 2, that film was aweful, if the first wasn't bad enough the 2nd was simply unwatchable, fucking canon everywhere and being so dark you barelly see the movie sometimes. In least i knew what was going on in AVP 1, and while The Wolverine had its flaws it's certainly not on the level of AVP 2 lol.

I liked the first Saw movie, wasn't a big fan of the sequels though. Did you already review El Orfanato?


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 2, 2013)

Powerful Lord said:


> From yur reviews i have to disagree about AVP 2, that film was aweful, if the first wasn't bad enough the 2nd was simply unwatchable, fucking canon everywhere and being so dark you barelly see the movie sometimes. In least i knew what was going on in AVP 1, and while The Wolverine had its flaws it's certainly not on the level of AVP 2 lol.
> 
> I liked the first Saw movie, wasn't a big fan of the sequels though. Did you already review El Orfanato?



Keep in mind, ratings shouldn't be compared unless I make a more explicit comparison. So even though "The Wolverine" and "AVP 2" got the same rating, that doesn't mean they are equal. To me, "The Wolverine" is mediocre while "AVP 2" is bad, but sometimes entertaining. Although the problem with a lot of my earlier reviews is I tended to be too generous to movies I was expecting to hate. I havent seen AVP 2 since watching it in theaters, so maybe I'd dislike it more now.

and no, but I'll add it to the request list. Thanks for the post!


----------



## Powerful Lord (Aug 5, 2013)

Is Insidious worth watching?


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Aug 5, 2013)

insidious is better than conjuring, imo, i'm looking forward to pt 2.

i rewatched 28 weeks later recently, didn't notice that that movie has everyone in it!


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 5, 2013)

Yes, although I personally think "The Conjuring" is better.


----------



## Powerful Lord (Aug 5, 2013)

The conjuring seems to have much better reviews, and i heard the 2nd half of Insidious wasn't very good.


----------



## Yasha (Aug 5, 2013)

I plan to see Insidious, but The Conjuring is every bit the horror movie I want it to be.


----------



## MF NaruSimpson (Aug 5, 2013)

i thought insidious had better scares and a more novel concept .  conjuring was a more modern possession story, which while good, still left me feeling like it was a story i've sort of seen b4.

edit: i should say, a modern exorcism story (though it's set in the past) .  My feeling for "the conjuring" kind of deflated as it became clear we were headed for an exorcism


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2013)

*When a Stranger Calls (2006)*- A girl babysits for a rich couple in the middle of nowhere and she starts receiving strange phone calls. Turns out she's being stalked by a psycho. It's a remake of the 1979 movie with the same name, which had a spectacular opening and a good ending, but the rest was just meh. This one stretches out the opening and ending into the full length film and...lots of nothing happens. Yet it's desperate attempts at 'scaring' us with boo-scares and jump-scares ended up making this a guilty pleasure for me. It made me laugh. 

2/4


----------



## Yasha (Aug 21, 2013)

Still take request, Martial?

301, 302


A Korean movie about food and sex.


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2013)

Is it a horror movie?


----------



## Uncle Acid (Aug 22, 2013)

Yes, it is. Not your regular jumpscare/scarejump/whatever film, but still a horror film.


----------



## Yasha (Aug 22, 2013)

It's a twisted film about people with disturbing past.


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 22, 2013)

lol, we'll see.


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 24, 2013)

*You're Next (2013)*- A family is terrorized by masked killers in a house which is isolated from civilization. It has some clever moments and an incredibly cool protagonist, but the supporting cast is painfully annoying. I disliked about half of it, liked about half of it, but there is a certain smugness about the whole project that just turned me off. 

1.5/4


----------



## Uncle Acid (Aug 25, 2013)

I'm really looking forward to You're Next. Looks like a great film.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2013)

*Phantoms (1998)*- Ben Affleck, Liev Schreiber, Rose McGowan and Peter O'Toole star in this horror-thriller penned by novelist Dean Koontz. A Sheriff, his deputies and two sisters return home to find the entire town abandoned. When they start finding corpses, they realize they are being hunted by something...It's really, really mediocre. The only parts which stand out tend to be the bad parts, or the hilariously bad parts. 

1.5/4


----------



## Powerful Lord (Sep 5, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> *You're Next (2013)*- A family is terrorized by masked killers in a house which is isolated from civilization. It has some clever moments and an incredibly cool protagonist, but the supporting cast is painfully annoying. I disliked about half of it, liked about half of it, but there is a certain smugness about the whole project that just turned me off.
> 
> 1.5/4



That sounds painfully similar to The Strangers


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2013)

Powerful Lord said:


> That sounds painfully similar to The Strangers



Honestly, it's not derivative as it sounds. I'd say "The Strangers" was more of a rip-off of "Them" (French movie) than this was of "The Strangers". Part of the reason I dislike home invasion movies is they all are painfully alike.


----------



## James Bond (Sep 5, 2013)

Watched Devil last night, I like the idea behind the movie but just didn't seem to get into M. Night's take on it. I think there should have been more back story to the idea of how the Devil would come to earth and why rather than several scenes of flickering lights then something happens.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2013)

*Riddick (2013)*- murderer turned emperor Riddick (Vin Diesel), the anti-hero from "Pitch Black" and "The Chronicles of Riddick", is left stranded on a desolate planet which is filled with aliens who want him dead. He decides to wants to leave, so lures two different teams of mercenaries down to the planet in order to steal their ship. The trailers REALLY lie about the story, claiming that the finale is the overall plot. In fact, it sometimes feels like you have the plots of three different movies dominate each 'act'. It is a very flawed flick, but it always manages to entertain despite its failures. 

2.5/4


----------



## Uncle Acid (Sep 9, 2013)

You seen Session 9, MH?


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 9, 2013)

Is that the one where those guys are cleaning out the mental institution or whatever? If so, yes. Did a written review too, although it's one of my older ones. I remember liking it.


----------



## Uncle Acid (Sep 10, 2013)

Yeah, that's the one. Watched it yesterday and really enjoyed it. It took me by surprise. No cheap scares or anything like that, just pure psychological horror.


----------



## Muah (Sep 10, 2013)

My top three are

the ring
shutter(thai version)
and Candyman

I need something atleast Shutter scary I may not be up for Candyman scary right now.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 12, 2013)

*The Last Winter (2006)*- Deep in the untamed arctic, an oil company works to build roads so they can drill for oil. Turns out Mother Nature isn't so fond of this and is either stalking the crew or maybe they're just going insane. It actually does have some impressive build-up, but it leads to one of the worst finales of all time. It's also annoyingly preachy. But the characters are well written and it does have some atmosphere. Stars Ron Perlman. 

2/4


----------



## Rukia (Sep 13, 2013)

*Spoiler*: _Request_ 



I just noticed that I Spit On Your Grave 2 is available on the playstation network.  Will you check this one out for us?


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2013)

When it comes out on netflix, sure.


----------



## Uncle Acid (Sep 14, 2013)

Oh, don't bother. The remake was awful, and this isn't much better. It's basically the same film set in a different place, with nothing new to add at all. It's worse than the already poor sequel. Meh.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 14, 2013)

lol, I review anything though!

*Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)*- In the previous film, the Father (Patrick Stewart) went into 'the further' (purgatory) to rescue his son from ghosts. Unfortunately, he himself was trapped in this world while something else inhabited his body. Now the family is being stalked by even more ghosts! It's much lighter in tone than its predecessor and not as scary. Pretty fun though. 

2.5/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Sep 18, 2013)

saw this interesting movie called "inhuman resources".  if you get a chance you should check it out.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 21, 2013)

*Solomon Kane (2009)*- Solomon Kane is a former mercenary who decided to repent when the devil literally attempted to drag him to hell. But he must take up the sword again when a mysterious dark sorcerer threatens the country. Based on the books which were penned by the guy who also wrote the "Conan the Barbarian" series. In terms of narrative, it's actually kind of similar to the original "Conan" movie, even though neither are considered faithful to their source material. It's flawed, primarily because too much is going on and the special effects are iffy. But it's also really entertaining. James Purefoy is awesome as the titular character. 

3/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Sep 22, 2013)

first insidious was much better, the scares were hardcore, you were afraid to go to sleep at night after watching part 1.  

part 2 wasn't bad, but it's different from the nightmare that part 1 was.


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 28, 2013)

*Saw II (2005)*- The serial killer known as Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) is finally caught! It turns out, however, that he allowed this to happen so he could lure corrupt Detective Matthews (Donnie Wahlberg) into his trap. Turns out he has Matthews' young son, who has been placed in a house filled with death traps. Can Matthews redeem himself and save his son? My third favorite "Saw" flick, behind 1 and 3. It's just nonstop, intense entertainment. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2013)

*The Lords of Salem (2012)*- Rob Zombie directs this weird horror film about a radio D.J whose laugh becomes plagued with witches and other sinister, demonic forces. The film only gets stranger and stranger, but I loved it. You might hate it. If there was ever a horror flick that could be described as an acquired taste, this is it. 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 10, 2013)

The Lords of Salem are 2013s most underrated film for sure. I thought it was really good and the atmosphere was mindblowing.


----------



## Powerful Lord (Oct 10, 2013)

Hey MartialHorror, i have to disagree with you about the Conjuring, it was pretty good, while the idea itself wasn't original, the way it was handled had a lot of creativity, the scares were good, and the characters were very likeable.


----------



## Rukia (Oct 10, 2013)

Thanks for watching I Spit On Your Grave 2 dude.  Sounds like it was as lousy as I expected.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 13, 2013)

You seen Kiss of the Damned, Martial? Erotic/romantic drama/horror. I was a little disappointed, but it was still a good watch. I thought it was a little artsy farsty and that gave me a 70's eurotrash vampire flick feel, which I really like. And the poster is amazing!


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## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2013)

No, if you want, I'll add it as a request.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 14, 2013)

Yeah, sure. That would be cool as I tend to enjoy reading your reviews.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 15, 2013)

*I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2012)*- An amateur model goes to get pictures taken by a shady photographer, but ends up catching the eye of his rapist brother. Ultimately, she's raped and smuggled into Bulgaria, where she's forced to be their sex slave. Eventually, she escapes and exacts bloody revenge. It's technically well made, but once the rape and torture loses its shock value, it becomes rather boring. 

1.5/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 20, 2013)

hey martial, i just read ur review on "mama", which i just saw.  I'm just wondering if you had a chance to see the movie "el orphanato" , cause if not , and I have reason to believe u didn't, u might see "mama" in a different way.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2013)

Coincidentally, I intend on watching that next Wednesday (the 31st?). Was originally going to watch it this wednesday, but I wanted to be sure I'd be able to get to "Halloween: Resurrection" first since it might be unavailable that close to Halloween.

Although I'm not sure how to take your comment. If it's as good as "Mama"...then my expectations are beginning to lower.


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## Powerful Lord (Oct 20, 2013)

You rent the movies?


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## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 20, 2013)

MartialHorror said:


> Coincidentally, I intend on watching that next Wednesday (the 31st?). Was originally going to watch it this wednesday, but I wanted to be sure I'd be able to get to "Halloween: Resurrection" first since it might be unavailable that close to Halloween.
> 
> Although I'm not sure how to take your comment. If it's as good as "Mama"...then my expectations are beginning to lower.



i won't tell u that it's similar or different cause I view that as sort of spoiling.  But I liked "mama" , the ending was unexpected for me and I wonder why the story turned out that way , in regards to the blue butterfly.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2013)

*Event Horizon (1997)*- A rescue team investigates 'the Event Horizon', a massive spaceship which vanished some years prior. It turns that the ship has been to a dimension best described as hell and it has brought something back with it. It's pretty good, but it's one of those movies that you really want to be better. It had enough potential to be a horror classic, but it's just too dumb for that. Still, it's entertaining and sometimes even frightening. Great cast too. Probably Paul W.S Anderson's best movie. 

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 22, 2013)

I watched Mama last night and tought it was poor as fuck. Andr?s Muschietti obviously has a good eye for both details and camera angles, and he's onto something again and again, but every single time the atmosphere is getting good he just fucks it up over and over again with cheap-as-fuck scares and adds nothing of worth to the film, unless you're a little, easily scared child of course. But I am not. And the ending was horrible.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2013)

*Gallowwalkers (2012)*- Wesley Snipes stars as a gunslinger who killed the bandits who raped his girlfriend (and ultimately died from it). He is then cursed by Satan, who declares that everyone he had murdered will rise from the dead. So Snipes has to atone by killing the men again. I liked the atmosphere, the characters and the settings, but the script is a disastrous mess. It reeks of poorly thought out rewrites. Still, I liked what worked quite a bit. Very uneven. This was the flick Wesley was making when he was charged with Tax fraud. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 1, 2013)

*Halloween: Resurrection (2002)* - The subtitle amuses me because technically, this did end the franchise until the filmmakers were forced to enter remake territory. After finally killing Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), undead serial killer Michael Myers returns home...only to find a bunch of assholes trying to do a reality TV show in his old house. Killing time! The story pretty much ends after the first 15 minutes and the rest is just filler...

1.5/4


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## Grape (Nov 1, 2013)

MH, what's a good Halloween movie for Film Club? Not the Halloween series per se, but just a good movie for the holiday?


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## MartialHorror (Nov 1, 2013)

Trick R Treat


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## MartialHorror (Nov 9, 2013)

*Kiss of the Damned (2012)*- A female vampire falls in lust with a hot guy, mistakes it for love even though the movie seems to think it's the real deal, and turns him into a vampire. When her crazy vampire sister has to stay with them though, everything goes to...purgatory. It's an erotic romance with some horror elements, but it's mostly just arthouse . If you like these kinda movies, you should appreciate this. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2013)

*The Orphanage (2007)*- A spanish ghost film produced by Guillermo del Toro. A woman moves her family into an old building which used to be an Orphanage- the same one she grew up in. Once there, she finds out that the place is haunted. While it tells an overly familiar story, which was getting old even back in 2007 and yet writers are STILL milking it, it does enough differently to achieve its own identity. While it certainly has its share of creepy moments, I was surprised at how moving the character drama was. It was a powerful experience for me, even if it wasn't as scary as some of its contemporaries were. 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Nov 18, 2013)

Enjoyed reading your review of Kiss of the Damned. Thanks!


Seen Secuestrados? It's a Spanish home invasion flick. Psychological thriller/horror. Very cool flick made up by 12 long shots, sometimes delivered on a split screen. Effective stuff.

Spoiler for the film, do NOT read unless you've seen it:

*Spoiler*: __ 



That ending, man. The way they showed the "ending" at the begining made you think you already knew how it would end, and then it proves to have nothing with the actual film to do. SOme will call this both cheap and stupid, and in one way I agree, but it did help a lot and it did give me a moment of WTF which wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for this. It just made this an even more effective as an psychological thriller/horror film.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 25, 2013)

No, will add it to the list.

*Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)*- In the blink of an eye, humanity vanishes without warning. Only a handful of people survive. It turns out the darkness has come to life and is consuming those without any light sources. It attempts to combine horror with a certain degree of arthouse, but it's attempts to be one usually sabotages the other. High brow critics and general audiences just didn't get enough of what they wanted out of it. Yet it had enough effective moments from both sides to please me. It's not as good as it thinks it is, but not as bad as everyone says it is. Directed by Brad Anderson ("The Machinist", "Session 9"). 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 30, 2013)

*Vampires: The Turning (2005)*- A kickboxer vacationing in Thailand must rescue his girlfriend from a coven of vampires by...joining another coven of vampires! Even though it suffers from low production values and bad acting, it does successfully combine horror and martial arts. It can be creepy and suspenseful, but also showcases impressive martial arts. But it is very flawed...Billed as an official sequel to John Carpenter's "Vampires" and "Vampires: Los Muertos", even though it's not to be considered as such. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 2, 2013)

*The Possession (2012)*- A young girl is possessed by an evil, Jewish box and it's up to her Father (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to save her. But that wont be easy thanks to the true villain of the film, his bitchy ex-wife. The story adds nothing new (the Jewish mythology was done in "The Unborn") to what has become a tired and boring formula. It's just like every other haunting or possession flick made these days, except the characters are more obnoxious than usual. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 5, 2013)

*The Colony (2013)*- In the future, the attempts to stop global warming backfired and...well caused global warming. Humanity has been mostly wiped out and currently live in underground colonies. When a colony suddenly goes silent, the neighboring protagonists decide to investigate, only to discover an insidious menace which threatens their existence. There's just too much story and not enough time to tell it (it's only 95 minutes long). The script is a bit of a disaster, but the movie does excel when it comes to tension and atmosphere. Laurence Fishburne and Bill Paxton co-star. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 9, 2013)

*The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)*- A group of hippies are preyed upon by a Chainsaw Wielding maniac, a grave robbing hitchhiker, a blood sucking supercentenarian and a cook who specializes in dishes of human flesh. The original cult classic doesn't contain much gore, but the psychological violence is very unsettling. An intense, atmospheric exploitation film that is rough around the edges, but it uses that to great effect. Followed by 3 sequel/reboots, a remake, a prequel to the remake and another sequelboot- but none compare to the original. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 21, 2013)

*Fright Night 2: New Blood (2013)*- A College student travels abroad to Romania in order to study, but discovers that his sexy (female) teacher is a vampire- who "hungers" for his girlfriend. He must recruit his obnoxious best friend and a disillusioned ghost hunter in order to stop her. It's more of a remake than a sequel, making it a sequel that's really a remake of a remake of an 80's movie which had already produced a sequel. The director injects excitement and some intensity in the weak script. I wouldn't call this a 'good' movie, but it does come closer to capturing the atmosphere of the original 1985 film than the bigger budgeted 2011 remake did. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 31, 2013)

*Saw III (2006)*- Jigsaw, the serial killer who forces unsuspecting victims into gruesome traps, where they must either find the will to live by harming themselves in some way or die a bloody death, is dying. His final game involves a doctor who has lost her path, who must keep him alive long enough for a broken man to complete his own game. But do the games really stop there? The first act kind of sucks, as the film can't seem to figure out who it wants to follow and too much is going on. But it starts to get good for the usual reasons- awesome, cringe inducing traps- and for some unique reasons. This is the last "Saw" film where I cared about the characters and their dilemmas. The franchise would start to go downhill after this.  

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2014)

MartialHorror releases his Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2013 list. But Beware! 2013 Blows!


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## MartialHorror (Jan 4, 2014)

*Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2013)*- The malevalent entity of the franchise begins harassing a Latino Boy after his neighbor is mysteriously murdered. While it has some hilarious flaws, this is the first entry that is actually attempting to do something different- whereas previous Paranormal Activity flicks were watered down versions of their predecessors. I also thought the protagonists were entertaining and the scares usually worked too. Still, you're either going to like it or not. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2014)

*Kidnapped (2010)*- AKA: Secuestrados. A Spanish Home Invasion thriller about...well, it's a home invasion thriller. So a normal family finds themselves fighting for their lives against three intruders. It's very conventional, but the unsettling violence somehow makes every cliched scene effective, regardless of the unoriginality. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 20, 2014)

*The Purge (2013)*- In the distant future, crime becomes legal for a day once a year. It's called 'The Purge'. One family doesn't partake in the killing, but they do condone it...until the Purge arrives on their doorstop. The intriguing concept deserved better than a standard home invasion flick, but this standard home invasion flick is made watchable thanks to the intriguing concept. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 26, 2014)

*I, Frankenstein (2014)*- Frankenstein's Monster (Aaron Eckhart) survives the events of the tale and continues to live through modern times, but learns he is the key to determining the outcome of a war between demons and gargoyles. It's the type of movie that can only really be tolerated if you leave your brain outside of the theater. The problem is that one you retrieve it when the film is over, you realize how bad the movie really is. At least it's better than "The Legend of Hercules" and "47 Ronin" though, if that even means anything. 

1.5/4


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## Yasha (Feb 2, 2014)

Have you seen Daughter of Darkness? It's a cult exploitation film like The Untold Story but much more disturbing. I like how the tone changes from humorous at the beginning to increasingly dark and twisted as it goes.

[YOUTUBE]O_pLckVCU7c[/YOUTUBE]


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## MartialHorror (Feb 2, 2014)

How in the hell is that movie on youtube? I havent seen it, but I think I've heard about it...


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## Yasha (Feb 2, 2014)

An uncut version too.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2014)

*The Reef (2010)*- A group of Australian friends are sailing in an Ocean when their boat suddenly sinks and they find themselves being terrorized by a killer shark. It doesn't have an original bone in its body, borrowing the formula from "Open Water"- This would've been a more fitting sequel to that movie than the actual sequel- and the scare tactics of "Jaws". But it at least it's a solid imitation, as it moves quickly and is pretty intense. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 8, 2014)

*V/H/S/2 (2013)*- A pair of private investigators investigate the dilapidated home of a missing college student, who collected some bizarre snuff films. The movie focuses on each of these films, as "VHS 2" is an anthology. It improves on its predecessor in every way, having better shorts, stronger scares, a better placement of said shorts and a more consistent tone. Although for a film called "V/H/S", most of the shorts seem to be shot via digital technology...whoops! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 10, 2014)

*23:59 (2011)*- A Malaysian–Singaporean flick about platoon recruits being haunted by a mysterious ghost on an island. I'm a sucker for military themed horror flicks, especially when they have an island setting, so you'd think this movie would please MartialHorror. Yet despite a solid first act, "23:59" becomes intolerably bad thanks to annoying characters, a disorganized plot, redundant dialogue and weak scares. Its only saving grace is that at least it's kind of unique. 

1.5/4


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## Yasha (Feb 13, 2014)

Hey Martial, if you have time, check out Daughter of Darkness. Would like to know what you think about it. I know people classify it as an exploitation film, but I actually disagree. I feel that the sex scenes are necessary to the plot and so is the violence.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 14, 2014)

Yasha said:


> Hey Martial, if you have time, check out Daughter of Darkness. Would like to know what you think about it. I know people classify it as an exploitation film, but I actually disagree. I feel that the sex scenes are necessary to the plot and so is the violence.



And still it is an exploitation film. A film can be considered an exploitation film even though it doesn't rely on unnecessary use of violence/sex/whatever.

Great film by the way. You ever seen the two sequels?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2014)

It's on my requests list, but don't expect it till April.

*The Prowler (1981)*- Shortly after World War 2, an amorous couple was butchered by a deranged war veteran who was never caught. Because it was done following the graduation dance, the event was discontinued...until someone decides to bring it back 30 years later. Unfortunately, this brings back the maniac, who starts butchering amorous teens once again. It's a slasher movie specifically designed for slasher fans, which I am. But if you're not, you'll be less enamored with Tom Savini's awesome gore effects and more frustrated by the nonsensical plot. 

3/4


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## Yasha (Feb 15, 2014)

Uncle Acid said:


> And still it is an exploitation film. A film can be considered an exploitation film even though it doesn't rely on unnecessary use of violence/sex/whatever.
> 
> Great film by the way. You ever seen the two sequels?



I heard about the first one, but didn't know it has another sequel. Are they good?


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 15, 2014)

No idea. I haven't seen any of the sequels.


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## Yasha (Feb 15, 2014)

I watched Daughter of Darkness partly because of Lily Chung. She's a solid actor. The sequel has different cast. I just read its plot. Seems like a typical B-movie - exploitative and makes little sense.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 15, 2014)

I'm not gonna bother checking now, but I am pretty sure Lily Chung returned for the third film, Brother of Darkness, reprising her role.


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## Yasha (Feb 15, 2014)

Oh, you mean Brother of Darkness. I have seen it. It's not a sequel of Daughter of Darkness. But it's part of what they call "Lily Chung trilogy". Even though Lily only has a secondary role in it and the main focus is actually on Hugo Ng (Lily Chung's boyfriend in Daughter of Darkness and husband in real life) and Ho Ka Kui, who again played the bad guy. It's alright. Nothing spectacular. Though there is one scene that makes it controversial and is usually cut out - Ho masturbating right in front of his mother.

The other film in the so-called trilogy is . Same director as Brother of Darkness, and Lily Chung played a retarded girl who got sexually abused.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2014)

I actually watched and reviewed "Red to Kill" (). I was surprised how much I liked it, considering how I usually don't like Hong Kong-styled sleaze. I haven't seen "Daughter of Darkness", but I'm pretty sure 'bi-polar tone' will appear in my review. Also, rape is a tricky thing to pull off in film, especially when it's in an exploitation film.


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## Yasha (Feb 17, 2014)

Lily Chung is a better actor than 95% of the active Hong Kong actors today.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 18, 2014)

MartialHorror said:


> Also, rape is a tricky thing to pull off in film, *especially when it's in an exploitation film.*



Why is that?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2014)

Because the filmmakers almost always do it to titillate in some form, with closeups of breasts, etc. But it's too...um, rapey to be disturbing. This included "Red to Kill", although the acting made that movie stand out as exceptional.

Remember though, exploitation can masquerade its sleaze with drama or social commentary, but its primarily purpose will almost always be to show off lots of sex and violence and sometimes sexual violence.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 19, 2014)

*Ghosts of Mars (2001)*- Nastasha Henstridge, Jasan Statham, Pam Grier and Clea DuVall are part of a team of Space cops who work on the colonized Mars. They are sent to a small town to transport a deadly prisoner, Desolation Williams (Ice Cube), but find everyone gone. Turns out that ghosts have possessed the townsfolk, turning them into violent crazies. Despite being helmed by John Carpenter and boasting an impressive cast, this action-horror flick just sucks on every level. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2014)

*Attack of the Vegan Zombies! (2010)*- A couple has no luck in growing a grapevine crop for their winery, so have to resort to witchcraft. It works, but because it required the husbands blood to pull off- and he was drunk- this causes the crop to become inebriated and attack the workers. It turns them into zombies, who instead of eating flesh, must drink the wine made from the grapevines. The problem is once they run out, they must consume the next best thing- the blood of the people who have drunk the wine. This movie is really f@cking strange, which is what I want out of a movie called "Attack of the Vegan Zombies". It sometimes can surprise you with its technical quality, while also containing plenty of 'so bad, it's good' elements and downright awful moments. I would've liked this flick if it wasn't trying so hard to be funny. It made me laugh the hardest when it was taking itself too seriously. 

2/4


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## Kirito (Feb 25, 2014)

martialhorror can you watch mamoru hosoda's wolf children? i want to know if you have the same viewpoint i did watching the damn thing. i personally rate it 7/10, because although it was realistic, i hate that the ending pissed me off.

and what do you think about gravity? i happen to think it's nothing special because i've seen media similar to it, and that its overhyped on inception-level.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2014)

Does that really sound like something I'd review? lol. Also, Im not seeing it on netflix. Does youtube have it?

I liked "Gravity", thinking it fell short of greatness, but exceeded goodness. Best movie of the year? I dont think so, but I thought it was really good.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 26, 2014)

You seen this, MH: Blow

You as excited for this as me, or are you not into that kind of horror? Jesus, I can't wait. Huuuuuuuuuge expectations.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2014)

Yeah, I'm interested in that. I like Bava and to a lesser extent, Deodato and Lenzi. I dont recognize the other names off the top of my head, but Im sure if I've seen some of their works.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 26, 2014)

Yeah, it looks cool. And I am sure you'd appreciate some of the other directors there as well. Robert Kerman (Cannibal Holocaust, Eaten Alive, Cannibal Ferox) and Giovanni Lombardo Radice (City of the Living Dead, Cannibal Ferox) seems to be two of the actors set to appear in this. And both Goblin's contribuating to the soundtrack. That's just beyond amazing. I really can't wait for this. (seeing Claudio Simonetti's Goblin soon too. Can't wait for that either!)


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## MartialHorror (Mar 15, 2014)

*Devil's Pass (2013)*- A group of film students investigate the Dyatlov Pass Incident, a real life unsolved mystery where a handful of climbers died under bizarre circumstances in the mountains. They follow the same trail, but this is a horror movie, so they must endure the same terrors as the original group. You'd think that director Renny Harlin (known for his flashy style and action movie pacing-even when that works against the project) would be a terrible choice for helming a found footage flick (which requires subtlety and slow burn pacing), but he does fine. The problem is that the Dyatlov Pass Incident is an unworkable concept for film and Renny Harlin can't overcome that challenge. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 28, 2014)

*The Roost (2005)*- A group of friends get stranded at a barn, where they're attacked by mutant, demonic bats which turn people into zombies. An early Ti West ("The Innkeepers") feature that showcases and magnifies his strengths and weaknesses. It's good good atmosphere, but the characters are so incredibly unpleasant and annoying. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 10, 2014)

*The Bone Snatcher (2003)*- Miners and scientists find themselves stranded in a South African Desert, which would be survivable if it weren't for the fact that they are being chased by a man-eating monster. It's a perfectly acceptable creature feature that boasts nice location cinematography and a cool monster, but it still falls victim to bad character writing and bad editing. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 15, 2014)

*IMPORTANT UPDATE ON MY WRITTEN REVIEWS*! All my freewebs pages have been frozen, so I plan on slowly re-uploading everything to my new websites. For all old reviews, I will simply replace the obsolete link with the new one. I might re-review some titles I find to be obsolete, or will at least polish them up. For more information, go here:


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## MartialHorror (May 5, 2014)

*Battle of the Damned (2013)*- Dolph Lundgren stars as Max Gatling, a mercenary hired to infiltrate a zombie infested city in order to rescue the daughter of a wealthy man. it's a fun- but standard- zombie movie until for absolutely no reason, they throw killer robots into the mix...immediately making this the greatest movie ever made! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 10, 2014)

*Wilderness (2006)*- From the guy who directed the awesome "Deathwatch" and the not so awesome "Silent Hill Revelations 3D" comes this slasher/survival thriller hybrid. A group of juvenile delinquents are sent to an island to participate in team building exercises in response to their cold indifference to the suicide of one of their own. Once there, they are systematically hunted down by a ruthless killer. The characters aren't very likable, but that's sort of the point. Otherwise, I thought it was entertaining. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 18, 2014)

*Godzilla (2014)*- Civilization becomes the battleground between Godzilla and a pair of Muto's, all giant monsters who could care less about the puny humans dying underneath their feet. Hollywood has finally delivered a real Godzilla flick and a good one at that. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2014)

*Dracula, Prince of Darkness (1966)*- The third entry in Hammer Studio's Dracula franchise is strangely only the second one to actually feature Dracula. But Christopher Lee finally returned to the role that made him famous with this thoroughly enjoyable- but flawed- sequel. Dracula (Lee) has been resurrected and sets his sights on a small group of travelers who have stumbled upon his Castle. Can a gun wielding Priest (Andrew Keir) save them? It's the quintessential Hammer horror feature, relying on strong performances, memorable dialogue and spooky settings. If you like the other Hammer horror flicks, you'll like this too.  

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 12, 2014)

*Scanners (1981)*- I wanted to review it, but couldn't.

A fan requested that I review some David Chronenberg horror flicks and that gave me an excuse to finally watch "Scanners", which I had oddly never seen. It was an odd experience, as I feel that calling "Scanners" good is being too generous, while calling it anything else would be too harsh. The special effects, sound design and music is all top notch. The acting is...pretty bad in the traditional sense. Some of the actors rock the material, like Michael Ironside as the main villain. Others just can't make it work, like the main guy. Admittedly he was playing a role that had little-to-no personality, so allegedly his awkward, emotionless line delivery was intentional. But it was always...strange to behold.

But that is what the movie is above everything: Strange. The weird facial expressions everyone makes whenever 'scanning' someone is just so cheesy, but also kind of unsettling. It's a bizarre contrast, but once I got used to it, I began to like it. Yet this is the type of movie that firmly belongs in the 80's. Everything about it fits perfectly within that time period, so I'd rather it not be remade. Better acting, a more coherent narrative (at times I found it hard to follow) and polished special effects would just take away the charm.

But it's not really a horror film and outside of what I've just said, I can't think of enough material to fill out a full review. It's an odd science fiction-thriller that occasionally dabbles in horror or action. If you like 80's cheesecake (which I do), then "Scanners" is definitely for you. I'd rate it a 2.75/4 stars, or a 7/10 (good).

Final Note: As amazing as the head exploding scene was, I personally thought the final confrontation between the hero and the villain was the most exceptional and memorable moment.

This was taken from my facebook page:


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## MartialHorror (Jun 20, 2014)

*Hostel: Part II (2007)*- A group of girls stumble upon the deadly, Slovakian hostel- where rich clients pay to torture and murder them. Can they survive? It doesn't stand out as much as its predecessor, with a less memorable story, characters or horror sequences...But it also benefits from a more consistent tone and faster pacing. It's underwhelming, but it's still a decent torture porn flick- if you like those kinds of movies. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 26, 2014)

*Daughter of Darkness (1993)*- A bumbling cop (Anthony Wong) suspects that the lone survivor of a family massacre (Lily Chung) is really their killer. He's correct, but when she reveals that they abused her horrifically- with her Father even raping her- it becomes unclear who the victim really was. It's a Hong Kong Category III feature, so expect a lot of brutal violence, graphic rape scenes and painfully inappropriate comedy. It's trashy exploitation, but I will admit to being moved by the love story thanks to the chemistry between the actors. The ending even brought some tears to my eyes. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 7, 2014)

*Deliver Us From Evil (2014)*- Eric Bana stars as a cop-on-the-edge, investigating a series of seemingly unrelated crimes with his partner (played by Joel McHale, oddly), only to find a supernatural connection between them. He must work with an unconventional priest to stop these malevolent forces. I'm tired of possession themed horror flicks, but combining those cliches with the cliches of a gritty cop thriller ends up giving the film a certain level of uniqueness. It could've been better, but it was alright. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 19, 2014)

*The Purge: Anarchy (2014)*- In the near future, there is one night per year where all crime becomes evil. A man who plans to exploit the holiday for vengeance ends up finding himself protecting a group of stragglers on the streets. Whereas the first film wasted the concept on a home invasion scenario, this film does more with the central idea. It's just nonstop action, but the performance of Frank Grillo kept it from getting old. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2014)

*Hostel: Part III (2011)*- A bachelor party in Vegas turns deadly when one of their own goes missing. The group of friends begin to realize that they're being targeted by a dangerous organization, where wealthy psychopaths pay to watch unsuspecting tourists getting tortured. I will give the screenwriter props for maneuvering around a formula that "Hostel 2" proved was going stale and he even injects some inspired ideas into the feature...but the director sabotages it by sucking that badly. Crappy gore, no suspense and a broken tone. Oddly, "Hostel 3" seems to be ripping off "The Hangover"....

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 3, 2014)

*Scorpion Thunderbolt (1988)*- A GODFREY HO MOVIE! Ho was notorious for purchasing obscure, unreleased or unfinished films and re-editing them while shooting additional footage of white people who barely interacted with the original stories. In the case of this one, he took "Grudge of the Sleepwalking Woman" (Taiwanese flick)- which is about a snake woman terrorizing the streets- and added scenes of Richard Harrison fighting people. Individually, the stories are disjointed and unfocused. Together, they don't make any sense. This review contains my thoughts towards "A Dog Called Vengeance" and "Ark of the Sun God", which were also contained on the same DVD (called "Eye on Horror"). 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2014)

*Joy Ride 3: Roadkill (2014)*- Rusty Nail, the trucker serial killer, preys upon a group of race car drivers who cut him off. Strangely, the original "Joy Ride" was more of a psychological thriller, whereas this sequel is much more of a conventional 'torture porn' flick. It's pretty mediocre direct-to-DVD fare. Not unwatchable, but not really worth watching either. At least it has boobies. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 23, 2014)

*All Cheerleaders Die (2013)*- A group of high school cheerleaders are accidentally killed when their (ex) boyfriends run them off the road, but a witch friend of theirs resurrects them. Now they are succubi and desire vengeance. It's a comedy-horror that isn't funny, scary or even gory. It used lesbian sex to sell itself, but cuts away whenever things get really steamy. You'd think a lesbian themed horror flick wouldn't suck so much dick. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 31, 2014)

*As Above, So Below (2014)*- A group of explorers search for the philosopher stone in the Catacombs of Paris, but end up literally finding hell instead. It has a strong premise, a cool location and filmmakers who do desire to give us something different...but it just ends up underwhelming in spite of this. 

2/4


----------



## wibisana (Aug 31, 2014)

how about Crow Zero series?

1st movie I think it is good tho I dont like street "un-choreographed" fight (unlike Chinese martial art or The Raid Indonesian Silat which have artistic value in its movement).
I wanna watch 2nd but I then I found some DVDs of crow zero 8 and 9 wtf, 
this make me lost mood

well after doing research there are only 2 sequels (trilogy)
so what the fuck I just see on botleg market?? unofficial sequels?


----------



## Zhen Chan (Aug 31, 2014)

wibisana said:


> how about Crow Zero series?
> 
> 1st movie I think it is good tho I dont like street "un-choreographed" fight (unlike Chinese martial art or The Raid Indonesian Silat which have artistic value in its movement).
> I wanna watch 2nd but I then I found some DVDs of crow zero 8 and 9 wtf,
> ...



Mockbusters like the asylum movies


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## MartialHorror (Aug 31, 2014)

They're based off a manga, right? Maybe they're other adaptations.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 8, 2014)

*Evidence (2013)*- Two detectives who are experts on forensic evidence review the found footage of a brutal massacre, separating this movie into two stories: The investigation and the incident (which is found footage). This movie thinks it's brilliant thanks to its twist ending, but it's alleged intelligence relies on the stupidity of its characters...The found footage works better than the rest of the flick, but the differences in quality draw our attention to the fact that we are watching a movie...which seems to be a running theme with the director, who also helmed "The Fourth Kind". 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2014)

*Saw IV (2007)*- Jigsaw is apparently dead, but it looks like he has an apprentice who is carrying out his will. His latest target? Riggs, the SWAT Commander from the previous movies. It's a serviceable sequel if all you want are the gory death traps, but by now the formula has become stale. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2014)

*Annabelle (2014)*- A married couple buys a possessed doll...It haunts them...This is a spin-off of "The Conjuring", featuring the popular Annabelle doll. Unfortunately while "The Conjuring" was scary, this was just boring. I'm pretty sure they just recycled the script and scare tactics from "Insidious", which wasn't especially original to begin with. It crawls SO SLOWLY to an anti-climactic 3rd act. But what do you expect when you replace James Wan with the guy who directed "Mortal Kombat 2"? 

1/4


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## MF NaruSimpson (Oct 7, 2014)

annabelle was a disappointment, it's everything that's wrong with a prequel in my book, does nothing to expand the story it was spun off of..


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## MartialHorror (Oct 12, 2014)

*Dracula Untold (2014)*- Vlad the Impaler was a nice guy all along who just wanted to live peacefully with his family in Transylvania until the a vast army threatened his lifestyle...He's forced to become a vampire to defend his people. Not terrible, but it's so blandly mediocre and forgettable that it might as well be. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 23, 2014)

*Oculus (2014)*- A young man is released from a mental institution after many years when he admits that he was responsible for the death of his Father, not a haunted mirror. His sister believes otherwise, intent on proving that the mirror is a malevolent force which must be destroyed. When paranormal events begin to occur, it appears she was right after all...Or are the siblings simply losing their minds? It's not very scary, but the script is pretty clever and unique, which a rarity for this kind of film. 

3/4


----------



## Uncle Acid (Oct 23, 2014)

Watch that as a part of my horror-october, and I have to say it really let me down. Every single time it was about to build up some serious atmosphere it did something stupid and unfitting and had to start over again, and so it went throughout the movie. And it seemed as if they just tried to b a bit too clever for themself, the creators of the film.

4/10 from me.


----------



## MartialHorror (Nov 1, 2014)

*Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers*- The Producer's Cut (1995)- Michael Myers continues to hunt down his family, but this time the origins of his power is explored...and it's really f@cking stupid. The movie overall is pretty solid though. This suffered a lot of behind-the-scenes drama, which lead to a lot of reshoots, re-editing and re-scoring. This is the original version, a rare cut that only recently was given a formal release. Is it better? Worse? It has its own strengths and weaknesses, but I think the fans tend to overrate it. 

2.5/4


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## Bear Walken (Nov 1, 2014)

i saw that version a couple of years ago. both versions sucked tbh. the whole stupid cult thing they've been pushing since Halloween 5 was stupid and just confusing. hated that they couldn't cough up $5k to cast Danielle Harris to reprise her role as Jamie Lloyd. the i*c*st thing was just....  Sucks this was Pleasant's last movie.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 1, 2014)

Bear Walken said:


> i saw that version a couple of years ago. both versions sucked tbh. the whole stupid cult thing they've been pushing since Halloween 5 was stupid and just confusing. hated that they couldn't cough up $5k to cast Danielle Harris to reprise her role as Jamie Lloyd. the i*c*st thing was just....  Sucks this was Pleasant's last movie.



While I thought Harris was a better actress than her replacement despite her age, I'm kind of glad she wasn't going to be in it if they were just going to kill her off (too young). Especially if they were still going to do the farm equipment scene.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 14, 2014)

*Zombie (1979)*- Lucio Fulci directs this super cool zombie flick about a woman tracing her Father to an island filled with zombies. These are the most disgusting and terrifying zombies to ever grace the cinema. Combined with Fulci's unsettling atmosphere and the awesome gore effects, "Zombie" is my personal favorite of its kind. The scene where a zombie tries to kill a shark was unnaturally awesome. This is a re-review. Followed by many awful sequels.  

3.5/4


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## Muah (Nov 14, 2014)

Babadook
Great film uses actual horror rather than jump scares. it's not going to make you piss your pants but watch it alone and invest in the characters and you'll have a good enough time. It's english so don't expect anything hardcore or high budget but over all the best thing is that it's a good film. Don't think americans have used this type of horror since the late 90's and in result they haven't made a good horror film in over 10 years.
2.4/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2014)

Will check it out if I can.

*Terror Train (1980)*- A costume party on a moving train turns deadly when a mask wearing killer stalks Jamie Lee Curtis and her friends. Pretty good 80's slasher movie with a twist I actually did not see coming. While it is pretty formulaic, it has some unique ideas and the acting is really good- considering the genre. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 6, 2014)

*The Pyramid (2014)*- A found footage feature...at least when it wants to be...surrounds a group of filmmakers following a pair of archeologists into a newly discovered pyramid- which houses an unspeakable evil. The real villains though are the writers, who crafted one of the most inept, lazy screen-plays of 2014. This is a bad movie, but at least it's short, gets to the mayhem quickly and boasts a decent location. Could've been worse.  

1.5/4


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## Goldgroger (Dec 9, 2014)

So if you are reviewing horror movies then you should review The babadook also..have you watched it.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 9, 2014)

No, but I have it on my netflix and plan on watching it as soon as its available.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 11, 2014)

RE-REVIEW!

*Spookies (1986)*- A Group of middle aged teenagers are looking for a party and find one in a creepy manor that overlooks a graveyard, so naturally they choose to hang out. Unfortunately, a sorcerer wants to use them as sacrifices, so conjures many monsters to do the dirty work. This was originally called "Twisted Souls", but for some reason they edited in a lot of new footage that was filmed a few years later, which explains the incoherent narrative. It has a lot of cool stuff, boasting a chilling score and awesome monster effects. But it also has crappy...everything else, yet I suspect that it's supposed to be intentionally bad. With that mindset, I found this to be a lot of fun. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 30, 2014)

I don't count this as an official review, as these days I do try to stay within the boundaries of martial arts or horror, but I reviewed "The Enforcer" (Dirty Harry 3) on facebook.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2015)

My 'Favorite Movies of 2014' is up! Twas a week year, admittedly, but 8 films stole my heart.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 4, 2015)

*The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2015)*- During World War 2, children and their caretakers are evacuated from London and are forced to stay at the haunted marsh from the first movie. Limp sequel that relies too much on bad jump scares and too much time was dedicated to exploring the same mystery that was already solved in "The Woman in Black (1)". 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 7, 2015)

*Ragnarok (2013)*- A struggling archeologist brings some colleagues and his annoying kids to a mysterious island in order to solve a centuries old mystery. He does so, but unfortunately it means discovering a monster. Decent Norwegian monster film that can be pretty intense, but it's almost completely ruined by awful character writing. And bad dubbing. REALLY bad dubbing.  

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 11, 2015)

The Worst Movies of 2014, as according to MartialHorror, is up!


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 14, 2015)

RE-REVIEW
*
Scream (1981- Released in 1985)*- A group of annoying, interchangeable rafters find themselves stranded in a ghost town, where a murderer lurks. The menace might be a ghost, but the film is really vague and doesn't bother explaining anything- including why people stupidly keep splitting up. Yet the film barely survives thanks to a strong, foreboding and outright spooky atmosphere. Often regarded as a failed slasher due to the lack of gore and nudity, but "Scream" has its moments. Not to be confused with the Wes Craven classic of the same name. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 18, 2015)

*Bait (2012)*- A handful of characters survive a tsunami, but find themselves trapped in a submerged grocery store...with a pair of killer sharks. The cool sounding premise deserves better, but it could've gotten a lot worse. You'd expect something along the lines of "Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus" or "Snarknado" based on what low budget shark movies has become, but actual effort was put into this. Said effort doesn't rescue the flick from its flaws, but it does manage to keep "Bait" afloat. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2015)

*Black Lion: Fear the Black Lion (1992)*- An anime OVA about generic ninja taking on a freaking robot in a world where feudal Japan has access to futuristic technology. It exists to spawn a followup, which never came, so the story makes absolutely no sense. The animation quality is crude, but the film does benefit from an unsettling atmosphere, gory kills and crazy visual ideas. It's bad, but I guess it's the kind of bad that I can enjoy...a little... 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jan 29, 2015)

*Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)*- The residents of Jersey Shore- parodies of the cast from the popular reality show- find their home under siege by albino sharks. This is one of the few scyfy originals I liked, because whether I was laughing with it or at it...I was laughing. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2015)

*The Woman in Black (2012)* - Harry Potter stars as a young, widowed Lawyer practicing in the early 1900's who is sent by his firm to a remote village to settle the estate of an old, dead woman. However, the villagers are hostile and he soon learns why when a ghost of some sort terrorizes their children. It has a conventional script, but it works as a marriage between old school horror and modern day horror. Pretty creepy. 

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 4, 2015)

Yeah. The Woman in Black was a huge surprise in the positive sense. Very effective, and Daniel Radcliffe is doing a great job in it. 

The film isn't as good as The Woman in Black from 1989 though.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2015)

I haven't seen that one. Unfortunately, netflix doesn't appear to have it.


----------



## Uncle Acid (Feb 5, 2015)

Yeah, that's a shame. I think the film is very hit and miss to people. The production value is low as it was a TV-film and the acting is varies between poor and OK, but the atmosphere is unbelievable and what makes the film so great.


----------



## Uncle Acid (Feb 6, 2015)

You seen The Town that Dreaded Sundown? I adore the original one and watched the remake/meta-sequel last night and I was very impressed. Not as good as the original, but still damn good. Great atmosphere, lovely cinematography and it's both well-acted and directed. Not very original, but easily one of the best slashers made after the 80's ended.

Both should be available on Netflix. I know the remake is at least. Highly recommended.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2015)

Actually no. I'll consider them as requests, although I doubt I'll be able to get to either until April.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 8, 2015)

RE-REVIEW

*Slashed Dreams (1975)*- A yuppie couple decide to go find their friend (Robert Englund, in a 10 minute cameo) in the mountains, but run into a pair of hillbilly rapists. Honestly, I make the plot sound sturdier than it is, as they don't even encounter any real conflict until the 3rd act. Despite being marketed as a slasher, it's really just a slice-of-life, time capsule for the 70's. I was bored. 

0.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 10, 2015)

MartialHorror said:


> Actually no. I'll consider them as requests, although I doubt I'll be able to get to either until April.



You do that. I can see you enjoy the remake/sequel quite a lot to be honest. The original seems to be a bit f a love/hate film because of the sudden changes in atmosphere here and there, and you do not have that in the remake/sequel. To me it just adds to the overall terrorizing feel and makes the terror even worse. But it's a love/hate thing.


----------



## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2015)

*House (1977)*- A group of Japanese schoolgirls stay at a haunted house- guess what happens? This movie is f@cking bizarre, both in content and tone. It's so silly and campy, but the comedic elements hold hands with the macabre. The psychedelic imagery is outright twisted, but it works and I was surprised how unpredictable "House" was. I loved it, but I can also imagine many viewers rejecting its strangeness. Also commonly known as "Hausu". 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 23, 2015)

House is fantastic, and it contains some of the absolutely coolest special effects ever put on screen. The film is a 9+/10 for me. Close to perfection.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 5, 2015)

*Maniac! (1980)*- A serial killer prowls the streets of New York City, targeting women and scalping them in order to decorate his mannequin protection. But he begins to develop feelings for a potential victim, throwing a monkey wrench into his plans. This is a very disturbing psychological thriller/slasher, arguably inspiring "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer". It's pretty grim and unsettling, but perhaps it is a bit too effective as I don't want to experience this movie again. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 8, 2015)

*The Lazarus Effect (2015)*- A group of scientists accidentally discover a way to resurrect the dead, but when they must use this method to revive on their own, there are some disastrous side effects. The revived develops frightening abilities, possibly being possessed by a demon or maybe being the next form of evolution. A possession flick with a "Lucy"-esque twist, it does have the decency to get itself over with rather quickly. Overall, pretty mediocre. 

2/4


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## Yasha (Mar 12, 2015)

Check this out if you haven't yet.


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## Keollyn (Mar 13, 2015)

MartialHorror said:


> *Ragnarok (2013)*- A struggling archeologist brings some colleagues and his annoying kids to a mysterious island in order to solve a centuries old mystery. He does so, but unfortunately it means discovering a monster. Decent Norwegian monster film that can be pretty intense, but it's almost completely ruined by awful character writing. *And bad dubbing. REALLY bad dubbing*.
> 
> 2.5/4



I had begun watching it, but this just kept killing it for me and had to shut it off.


----------



## Muah (Mar 13, 2015)

I think I'm over my horror days. I went through the American and Japanese and finally the thai. Though it's so hard to find a good movie let alone a good horror. I don't have time to wade through the bad ones and you can't trust people's opinions. Even worse their are good horror movies disguised as really horrible horror movies.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 13, 2015)

Why exactly are you guys watching dubbed films anyway? Watch it in Norwegian with english subs for gods sake.


----------



## Muah (Mar 13, 2015)

A Norwegian horror movie?


----------



## Keollyn (Mar 13, 2015)

Uncle Acid said:


> Why exactly are you guys watching dubbed films anyway? Watch it in Norwegian with english subs for gods sake.



Pretty sure I would if I found that version. I have no problems with other languages last I checked.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 14, 2015)

I would've done the subtitled version, but my Dad struggles with reading and watching at the same time, so we did that instead. Sometimes the dubbing can make a film better though. 

"Legend of the Red Dragon" is sort of bland, but the tongue-in-cheek dubbing makes it one of my personal favorite Jet Li films.


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 17, 2015)

MARCH FRANCHISE MARATHON BEGINS (2015)!!!!

*Puppet Master (1989)*- A group of psychics investigate the mysterious suicide of a past acquaintance in an isolated hotel, but find themselves being hunted by demonic puppets. If you remember the movie fondly, it's because your memory has only retained the last 15 minutes- when shit actually begins to happen. The rest of the movie is pretty boring, but I do like some of the ideas and at least the puppets were creatively designed. But overall, a weak start to what would become a 10-movie franchise. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 18, 2015)

*Puppet Master 2 (1990)*- A group of paranormal investigates arrive at the dreaded hotel in order to look into the events of the first film, but find themselves terrorized by the malicious puppets and their even worse master. It's better than its predecessor in every way, although it still suffers from a lot of the same problems. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 21, 2015)

*Puppet Master 3: Toulon's Revenge (1991)*- A prequel to the other films, taking place in Germany during the 1940's. Toulon is a kindly puppeteer, who secretly brings his creations to life, but uses them to enact bloody vengeance on the Gestapo after they murder his wife. So far, this is the most entertaining of the franchise thanks to better pacing and a more coherent storyline. Plus, demonic puppets vs Nazi's...That's just awesome. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 24, 2015)

*Puppet Master 4: The Demon (1993)*- A young scientist re-animates the demonic puppets from the previous films and this draws the ire of a demon who wants that power for himself. This leads to sending his own creations, who will hunt the scientist and his new puppets. Blade and company are now good guys, but unfortunately this entry feels cheaper and more unintentionally funny than the other ones. It's bad, but was pretty fun to laugh at. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2015)

*Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter (1994)*- The story continues from part 4, where the same young scientist and the formerly homicidal puppets continue to do battle with the demonic totems. While I'm glad this had a more worthy final enemy and it is superior than its predecessor on a technical level, any scene which doesn't contain puppet action is boring as hell...

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Mar 28, 2015)

*Curse of the Puppet Master (1998)*- The 6th entry in the long running franchise is about a couple walking, talking, driving and sometimes encountering a group of assholes...Oh, and her Father currently is the Puppet Master and the demonic puppets occasionally will show up. God, this was really boring- being a 79 minute long movie where nothing happens until the 50 minute mark. It also looks very, very cheap. I feel guilty for complaining about the 5th. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 31, 2015)

*Retro Puppet Master (1999)*- An origins story, focusing on when Toulon acquired the power to place the souls of humans into puppets, who can then kill for him. Fans despise this for focusing on a new cast of puppets, who are nowhere near as interesting as the originals. I despise it for being a piece of shit, but it is slightly better than its predecessor. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 2, 2015)

*Puppet Master: The Legacy (2003)*- Fuck this fucking piece of fucking shit that is mostly comprised of fucking footage fucking from the previous fucking fucking films. Fucking more of fucking a recap episode fucking or clip show than fucking a fucking real movie. Fuck!  

0/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 4, 2015)

*Demonic Toys (1992)*- A group of assorted victims find themselves trapped in a warehouse with a demon child, who plans on murdering them using his reanimated demonic toys. While not as memorable as "Puppet Master", I do believe this is the more entertaining B-movie. 

2.5/4


----------



## raizen28 (Apr 4, 2015)

All these reviews and a site too


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## MartialHorror (Apr 6, 2015)

(yup, I'm pretty awesome that way!)

*It Follows (2015)*- A demon relentlessly stalks our heroine, moving slow but never stopping and always taking a different form. She was cursed when she had sex with its last target and she will continue to be chased until she either passes on the curse to someone else through sex or she is caught...and the implication of what happens if that occurs is far more terrifying than this already pretty terrifying movie. I thought it was pretty scary and I admire how unique it is. Some viewers will be turned off by the slow pacing though.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 9, 2015)

*Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004)*- Corey Feldman stars as a great nephew of Andre Toulon, who has somehow inherited the puppets and re-animates them. However, a rival toy maker learns of this and makes a deal with the devil to acquire them. He gives her three of his own demonic toys, who will take the fight to the more heroic puppets and the battle WILL BE...lame as f@ck. Produced by the Syfy channel, this entry is a lot more comedic, but not very funny. Still a little more watchable than the last three Puppet Master movies.


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 11, 2015)

*Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010)*- A prequel set during World War 2, a youngster named Danny takes the puppets shortly after Toulon's suicide and becomes the new Puppet Master. But the Nazi's are on his trail. On a technical level, this is a BIG step up from its past few predecessors. Unfortunately, there isn't enough action or horror for this to be a satisfying experience. Very little seems to happen. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2015)

*Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012)*- The same characters from the previous flick continue to clash with the Nazi's, who have developed their own deadly puppets. While this sounds like it should be a fun flick, the action and violence is minimal- and what little we get is unimpressive. The tone is intended to be very campy, but I found the sense of humor to be more annoying than amusing. I'm just glad I'm finally done with this shitty franchise...

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Apr 18, 2015)

*Unfriended (2015)*- A group of idiot friends are haunted by a vengeful ghost in their skype chat...I thought this was going to be the biggest turd of the year, but it ended up being watchable thanks to a brisk pace, solid acting and inspired direction. Would I call it scary? F@ck no! Would I say it was well written? No f@ck! But it did exceed my expectations. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 12, 2015)

*Maggie (2015)*- Wade (Arnold Schwarzenegger) discovers that his daughter Maggie (Abigail Breslin) is infected with the zombie virus that has practically destroyed the world. As she slowly turns, he comes to terms with what he must do. Despite having an action star as the lead and taking place in a horror setting, this movie is 90% drama. As such, it's good but not great and prepare to be incredibly depressed. Some scenes did threaten to make me tear up though. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (May 24, 2015)

*Poltergeist (2015)*- A family moves into a haunted house and shit from "Poltergeist (1982)" happens. Outside of maybe one or two scenes, the original and remake share nearly identical content. The clown, tree, final assault...anything "Poltergeist (2015)" does, "Poltergeist (1982)" did better. I will concede that at the absolute least, this was competently made. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 3, 2015)

*Jaws (1975)*- A coastal town is terrorized by a vicious great white shark and it's up to a Police Chief (Roy Scheider), a Marine Scientist (Richard Dreyfuss) and a Shark Hunter (Robert Shaw) to hunt it down. While not Steven Spielberg's first film, it was the one that made him a legend because it is the greatest movie ever made...in my opinion. "Jaws" does everything perfectly. 

4/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 7, 2015)

*Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)*- A prequel to the events of the first film, another family is haunted by a different malevolent entity and it's up to the franchise's trusty psychic (Lin Shaye, reprising her role) to save the day. While this is sometimes scary and writer/(now)director Leigh Whannell did manage to get under my skin, this story wasn't really necessary. But "Insidious" isn't meant to be the franchise that producer/original director James Wan wants it to be. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2015)

*Jurassic World (2015)*- Dinosaurs have been cloned and can be seen in Jurassic World, a theme park island. But when people start losing interest, the company decides to create a new hybrid dinosaur. The fourth Jurassic Park entry is somewhat fun, but fell far beneath my expectations. 

2/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jun 21, 2015)

MartialHorror reviews David Cronenberg movies! So far, this list of mini-reviews includes "Videodrome", "The Fly", "Dead Zone" and "Scanners", although I briefly talk about "A History of Violence", "Eastern Promises" and "A Straight Story". Link removed


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## MartialHorror (Jul 14, 2015)

*Rabid (1977)*- A girl requires an experimental surgery when she barely survives a bad motorcycle accident, but the side effects are include a thirst for blood and a stinger that infects the victims with a similar disease.  Early David Cronenberg flick meanders for awhile, but picks up steam during the second half. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 18, 2015)

*Premature Burial (1962)*- A man (Ray Milland) obsesses over the possibility of accidentally being buried alive, a fear which begins to cause his sanity to deteriorate. Adapted from an Edgar Allen Poe story and directed by Roger Corman, this gothic drama has some good atmosphere. But it constantly reminded me way too much of other, better Poe adaptations from Corman. 

2.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Jul 27, 2015)

*The Vatican Tapes (2015)*- Priests investigate a potential demonic possession, only to realize that the victim might be the anti-Christ. A mostly mediocre, conventional exorcism flick. How did this end up on that 'best screenplays that were unmade' list? I suspect that the studios tampered with the script to make it more marketable. 

1.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Aug 18, 2015)

*The Babadook (2014)*- A Mother is struggling with her special needs son, which only gets worse when a spectre known as the 'Babadook' starts haunting him. At first she dismisses his apparent delusions, but then she starts seeing things as well. Is she going crazy? Or is it real? One of the better Paranormal Haunting flicks thanks to the visuals and acting, although I'd argue that it's more of a terse family drama. 

3.5/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 13, 2015)

*The Visit (2015)*- Kids spend the week with their grandparents, who start showing...bizarre behavior. M. Night Shyamalan attempts a comeback and he...hey, succeeds in making a 'pretty good' movie. There are a handful of noticeable flaws, but none of them are incredibly embarrassing. This is a horror-comedy and I laughed a lot, but at least this time I was laughing with the movie. 

3/4


----------



## MartialHorror (Sep 18, 2015)

*The Brood (1979)*- Oliver Reed stars as a doctor who uses an experimental, psychological therapy on his patents, which converts their repressed emotions into a (usually) curable physical ailment. Unfortunately, a divorced, unstable Mother is converting her rage into murderous child-like creatures. One of David Cronenberg's many bizarre flicks, complete with grotesque body horror. Yet there is more emotion within the content, making the human drama a lot more effective. There are alienating elements, such as the meandering narrative, but I liked it. 

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Sep 18, 2015)

MartialHorror said:


> *Premature Burial (1962)*- A man (Ray Milland) obsesses over the possibility of accidentally being buried alive, a fear which begins to cause his sanity to deteriorate. Adapted from an Edgar Allen Poe story and directed by Roger Corman, this gothic drama has some good atmosphere. But it constantly reminded me way too much of other, better Poe adaptations from Corman.
> 
> 2.5/4



I love this film myself, like I love all of Corman's Poe-adaptions with the exception of The Raven. Not his best Poe-adaption, but fantastic nonetheless and the atmosphere is brilliant.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 30, 2015)

*The Green Inferno (2015)*- A group of idiot protesters successfully stop a logging company from obliterating villages in the Amazon rainforest, but their victory is short lived when their plane crashes and they are promptly seized by a cannibal tribe whom they were trying to protect. While this throwback to the Italian Cannibal genre that was briefly popular in the early 1980's is incredibly gory and colorful, I thought it was pretty boring. Every time director Eli Roth starts building any tension, he'll ruin the moment with a misguided attempt at humor. 

1.5/4


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## crazymtf (Oct 1, 2015)

Green Inferno was pretty bad. Gave it a 2/5.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2015)

*Attack on Titan: Part 1 (2015)*- Adapted from the popular manga/anime, humanity has become an endangered species at the hands of the Titans- gigantic humanoids who eat people. They hide behind even bigger walls, which has protected them from the Titans for 100 years, but realize that mankind must go on the offensive when the walls fail. It's not awful, but it's not very good either. Fans of the source material will hate the changes, while everyone else won't be able to tell what's going on. Weak characters/story, crappy CGI effects and cheesy dialogue fill in the gaps of badness. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2015)

*Crimson Peak (2015)*- A girl marries an Aristocrat on a whim, moving to his dilapidated mansion, where she begins to see ghosts. They seem to be warning her about her 'beloved husband'. Is her life in danger? Yes...yes it is and you will see every twist coming almost immediately because this story has been done 1,000 times before and director Guillermo del Toro makes no effort to do anything differently...and yet...damn, this movie is gorgeous. "Crimson Peak" contains the most eye popping visuals of 2015...if only the story had anything substantial to offer...

2.5/4


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## EllissonWatson (Oct 20, 2015)

I really liked this movie


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## MartialHorror (Oct 22, 2015)

*Attack on Titan: Part 2 (2015)*- Eren can apparently turn into a Titan now and he's nearly executed by his own Government for this, but he's rescued by a group of rebels. Yet when their own shady motives come to light, he's torn between the two opposing sides. Meanwhile, everyone is still trying to reclaim their land by plugging up the hole in the outer wall. While the first film took critical liberties with the manga (and anime) it was based on, this has practically nothing to do with the source material. The characters are finally being fleshed out, but the rest of the script is a mess and fans won't like the lack of Titan mayhem. It has its moments though. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2015)

*Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)*- Another family is haunted by the terrible demon known as...Toby...The filmmakers have claimed that this was the final entry in the Paranormal Activity franchise and they gave "The Ghost Dimension" the grand finale treatment by...not explaining anything, creating more questions and having a rather limp resolution. But this time you get see Toby in his CGI glory, so...yay? Mildly entertaining, but not really scary and unsatisfying as the 'so called' conclusion to this overarching story. 

1.5/4


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## Sauce (Oct 25, 2015)

Avoid Ghost Dimension. I'm not going to give a long ass review. I am a huge fan of the series and I'm disappointed with this entry. Too much reliance on 3D and not enough on developing a good narrative. The first 30 minutes of the film are a waste. The climax is honestly the only good part. Jump scares galore. Seeing the activity didn't make it scarier. Also, did not answer all the questions in the series as promised but instead brought up even more questions. *Stay the fuck away.*


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## MartialHorror (Nov 8, 2015)

RE-REVIEW

*Halloween(1978)*- A group of teenage girls are hunted down by a maniac, who has just escaped a mental institution. The Grandfather of a Slasher genre is full of suspense, atmosphere and haunting imagery. One of the best horror movies ever made! Followed by an army of sequels, most of which are subpar. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 12, 2015)

RE-REVIEW

*Halloween II (1981)*- Unstoppable killer Michael Myers continues to hunt a hospitalized Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) shortly after the events of the first film. His nemesis, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) tries to stop him. The staff at a hospital get caught in the middle and provide lots of dead bodies for our viewing pleasure. This sequel is OK, although I personally prefer "Halloween 4". 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2015)

RE-REVIEW

*Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)*-  A doctor (Tom Atkins) and his potential love interest(Stacey Nelkin) investigates the mysterious death of her Father, which leads them to a mysterious factory that produces...unusual...Halloween masks. This controversial entry within the Halloween franchise pissed the fanbase off because it has a standalone story- which has nothing to do with Michael Myers. Over time, it has developed a cult following. There's definitely a lot to admire about this movie...but also a lot to despise and I'm not even referring to the lack of masked serial killers. Very uneven. 

2/4


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## Tranquil Fury (Nov 15, 2015)

All the Paranormal activity movies post 3 suck(if we count the one in Tokyo that was okay), I mean they had some flaws in narrative but felt scary. The rest keep getting progressively worse. Have not touched GD, heard bad things. The director needs to stop trying to make this a franchise.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 6, 2015)

*Krampus (2015)*- When a young boy loses his Christmas cheer after spending the holidays with his volatile and dysfunctional family, he gets a visit from Krampus- the evil version of Santa. Instead of putting gifts under Christmas Trees, Krampus brings terror and misery to the entire neighborhood! This horror-comedy comes from the director of the cult favorite "Trick 'r Treat" and it kind of plays out like a spiritual sequel. While the laughs and scares don't stand out, it provides enough chuckles and thrills to be satisfying. The creature effects were awesome. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 9, 2015)

*The Mummy's Shroud (1978)*- The third entry in Hammer Studios' Mummy franchise, following "The Mummy (1959)" and "Curse of the Mummy's Tomb". Unlike their "Frankenstein" and "Dracula" franchises though, there's no continuity between any of their Mummy flicks, so it might as well be a remake...of every other Mummy movie ever made...Its reliance on the cliches that built this (now stale) formula tends to upstage the actual quality, which is adequate. At least I wasn't bored. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 12, 2015)

*House (1986)*- A troubled horror novelist treats to a (haunted) creepy house in order to write about his experiences during the Vietnam War. But this turns out to be harder than expected, as at the stroke of midnight, horrible apparitions terrorize him. Is he going crazy? Or is the house some sort of gateway to hell? This horror-comedy from Steve Miner ("Friday the 13th Part 2", Halloween H20") has awesome creature effects and boasts a technical sophistication rarely found within the genre. But the script is all over the place and the tone suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder. Followed by three sequels (!!). 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 28, 2015)

RE-REVIEW

*Frankenstein (1931*)- Dr. Frankenstein (Colin Clive) creates successfully a monster (Boris Karloff) out of the body parts from exhumed corpses. But he is unable to control the abomination and must put a stop to his creation when it goes on a killing spree. While age has deteriorated its original impact, this classic is still pretty good. Followed by an army of sequels, rip-offs and remakes. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2016)

My favorite movies of 2015: 

My most hated movies of 2015:


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## MartialHorror (Jan 13, 2016)

*Re-cycle (2006)*- A novelist is struggling with writing her ghost story finds herself pulled into a fantastical-yet-nightmarish world where only discarded things exist. Escaping this land of ghouls is hard enough, but she's also being pursued by the ghost of her story. The Pang Brothers direct this bizarre tale that actually begins in the style of J-horror, before morphing into a dark and twisted fantasy. The visuals are imaginative, grotesque and stunning, making up for the weak plotting, preachy dialogue and bland characterizations. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 17, 2016)

*The Objective (2008)*- A military special opts team are sent on a mission in the desert wilderness of Afghanistan, where strange things begin to happen...For some reason, the characters don't figure out what should be obvious within 5 minutes: aliens...The director is known for being a co-director of "The Blair Witch Project" and even though this isn't found footage, he attempts to recreate that magic...and stumbles...I think it's trying to be more Science Fiction than Horror, but it's just not intelligent enough to pull that off. At least it tries something different though...

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2016)

*MINI REVIEWS*: EnterGayMode

New additions to my mini-review list, which includes-

 - Seventh Son (2015): The Jeff Bridges/Julianne Moore action-fantasy.

- The Final Girls (2015): A comedy-slasher that garnered some critical acclaim, if also some back-lash from the hardcore slasher crowd.

- Portrait of Hell (1969): Also known as "Jigokuhen", it's a samurai/horror/drama starring Tatsuya Nakadai.

- Goosebumps (2015): A nostalgia driven action-fantasy with a dash of horror starring Jack Black.

- Shivers (1975): Early David Cronenberg 'body horror' flick.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 10, 2016)

The Final Girls were among my favourites of 2015. Thought it was most excellent, even though the PG-13 rating does hold it back quite a lot. Would've prefered more blood/gore and I wouldn't exactly mind some more nudity either. Two things I consider a big part of the genre. Anyway, it was hilarious and truly a fresh breath in both the horror and comedy genres. Couldn't stop laughing at Adam DeVine.

The 360 degree looping-scene wa brilliant. I could watch that all day long. One of the coolest scenes in modern times. So good!


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## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2016)

*The VVitch (2016)*- In the 1600's, a family settles down at an isolated location in the middle of the woods, but it turns out their neighbors is a coven of witches...who want to kill them...shit...The movie is heavy on bleak atmosphere and the suspense has an effective slow burn feel, but I found the pay-offs to the scares to be rather weak. The dialect tries so hard to sound authentic that it becomes difficult to understand, which is either awesome or stupid- depending on the viewer. Good movie, but I think it's over-hyped. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 2, 2016)

RE-REVIEW!

*The Howling (1981)* - A couple is stalked by werewolves in a rural colony. There are a handful of amazing moments in this film, such as the opening 10 minutes and a remarkable transformation sequence. The rest of the movie is good, primarily thanks to the cool werewolf designs, solid cast and a clever sense of humor, but you'll only remember the highlights. Followed by seven sequels. 

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 5, 2016)

The Howling is one of my all time favourite werewolf films. I find every single aspect of the film amazing. What an atmosphere, and the transformation scene is top, top notch.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2016)

But have you watched the sequels? 

The only ones I've never seen as of right now are the final two. As I kid, I liked most of them, but age wasn't kind to 5. I owned the fourth, but I can't remember much of it.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 6, 2016)

I've only seen Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf, which was something like 12-13 years ago or so. The only thing I remember from it is Christopher Lee and Sybil Danning. Christopher Lee is one of my absolute favourites and he just never disappoints, and I rember enjoying it because it was so awful. I love so-bad-it's-good-films, and I remember this as being one of those. 

Been planning on watching them all again some time soon, though.


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## Uncle Acid (Mar 6, 2016)

By the way, what's your favourite horror films of the 2000's if you bother making a short list or something?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 6, 2016)

I'd have to think about that one.

RE-REVIEW

*Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985)*- The late, great Sir Christopher Lee and Reb Brown unite to slay Sybil Danning- the werewolf queen. This movie is amazing. Horrible, but amazing. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2016)

*Howling III: The Marsupials (1987)*- Werewolves are actually descended from the extinct Tasmanian Tigers and have pouches to carry their young in...A female werewolf falls in love with a human male and they have a freakish baby together, but now have to contend with disapproving humans and wolves alike...While the film is a step up from its predecessor in terms of quality and the strangeness gives it a distinct identity, the movie just doesn't know what it wants to be. Horror? Comedy? Romance? Environmentalist Propaganda? Exploitation? Arthouse? It tries to be each at different times and these genres don't go very well together. It's not good enough or bad enough to be consistently entertaining, although I do appreciate the effort. 

1.5/4


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## Ae (Mar 10, 2016)

Have you seen Goodnight Mommy?


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## MartialHorror (Mar 15, 2016)

No, but I hear it's good!

*Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988)*- A woman is experiencing intense nightmares, so her husband takes her on a relaxing getaway to a remote cottage, where they hear howls in the middle of the night. You can argue that this is a remake of the first movie, although it's intended to be a closer adaption of the book. It's not badly acted, shot or scored and the werewolf effects are actually very good, but very little seems to happen for the first hour. I was so bored out of my mind that I began to wish for the badness of its predecessors. 

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 20, 2016)

*Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)*- A group of strangers converge at an abandoned castle, where a werewolf lurks amongst them...I really liked the murder mystery angle and the first half of the movie does a good job at building suspense, fleshing out the characters and exploiting the cool location. But the second half falls victim to cliches, lazy information dumps, plot induced stupidity amongst the characters and you never get a good look at the werewolf. Very uneven and disappointing considering the strong start. Nevertheless, this is the best sequel (so far). 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 24, 2016)

*Howling VI: The Freaks (1991)*- A mysterious drifter wanders into a small town, stalking a circus troupe headed by the enigmatic Harker (Bruce Payne; Blue lipstick from "Dungeons and Dragons"). It turns out the drifter is a werewolf and Harker is a vampire, but what is their connection? Technically, this is the best of the sequels from beginning to end, but it's more mediocre than good. The werewolf looks kind of lame and it takes too long to get going, but the vampire is cool and Bruce Payne is freaking awesome. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 29, 2016)

*Howling VII: New Moon Rising (1995)*- A mysterious man (Clive Turner, who appeared in the fourth and fifth Howling movies) arrives in a small town, just before murders start to occur. It turns out that a werewolf is stalking him, but why? This sequel attempts to weld the continuity of "Howling IV: The Original Nightmare", "Howling V: The Rebirth" and even "Howling VI: The Freaks", by revealing that Clive Turner is actually reprising his role. Interesting idea, but it's too bad that the production values are so minimal that I'm sure I could've even financed this project. The awful writing, direction, acting, editing and everything else doesn't help either. The worst of the Howling sequels BY FAR. 

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2016)

*The Howling: Reborn (2011)*- The 8th and final (?) entry of the infamous franchise is somewhat anti-climactic, as it's simultaneously better and less interesting than the majority of its predecessors. I suppose it's bad, but conventionally bad and it's possible that its failures will be overlooked by many thanks to the improved production values. The plot follows a High School boy who discovers that he's a werewolf, although most of the time is spent on pining after his crush. While the film is mostly hated for ripping off "Twilight", it's really just borrowing from whatever was trendy at the time- "Twilight", "The Amazing Spider-Man", "Scream 4" and even "Harry Potter". Yet its attempts to appeal to different audiences ultimately alienate everyone, as fans of "Twilight" aren't necessarily going to be interested in a "Howling" movie and vice versa. Tolerable, but below average. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 20, 2016)

MINI REVIEWS: Link removed

New additions to my mini-review list, which includes-

- Infini (2015): A Science Fiction/thriller/horror set in space.

- Sicario (2015): The much lauded dramatic thriller starring Benicio del Toro, Emily Blunt and Josh Brolin.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2016)

MINI REVIEWS: First Rotten Review for the movie.

New additions to my mini-review list, which includes-

- Akira Kurosawa's Dreams (1990): One of Akira Kurosawa's final films, this is a collection of shorts based on his dreams...and nightmares...(My writing of this movie is a cleaned up re-review).

- Diablo (2015): Scott Eastwood (son of Clint) stars as a Civil War veteran whose wife is kidnapped by a gang, so he straps up and hunts them down. This is a western-thriller that relies more on suspense than action.

- Andromedia (1998): A Science Fiction/Romance that only found its way here because I used to review everything and it's directed by Takashi Miike. This is a re-review.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 1, 2016)

*Anaconda (1997)*- A documentary film crew looks for a lost tribe in the Amazon Rainforest, but come across giant killer snakes and worse...an overacting Jon Voight. He's awesome. The movie isn't...good...but it is entertaining. Nostalgia might've played a part in these claims, as I loved this as a kid. Also stars Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Owens Wilson and Kari Wuhrer. Even Danny Trejo has a cameo!  

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 8, 2016)

MINI REVIEWS: person

-Standoff (2016): Thomas Jane is a disgruntled war veteran who tries to protect a young girl from a murderous Hitman, played by Laurence Fishburne. This is a slow burn survival thriller. 

- Victor Frankenstein (2015): James McAvoy plays the titular mad doctor, who wishes to conquer death, although the real protagonist is Daniel Radcliffe's Igor. This is a quirky period piece/drama/horror, but I couldn't think of enough to say for a full written review.

- The Hateful Eight (2015): The second western by Quentin Tarantino (unless you count "Inglourious Basterds"), this is a terse thriller with an all star cast (Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bruce Dern, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen and more!).


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## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2016)

*The Conjuring 2 (2016)*- The Warrens (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) travel to London to investigate the Enfield Poltergeist. While this sequel doesn't explore any new territory in terms of presentation or content, James Wan still knows how to get under my skin and freak me out. The first is still a lot better, but "The Conjuring 2" is a worthy followup.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2016)

*The Shallows (2016)*- Nancy (Blake Lively) enjoys an isolated beach...until she finds herself stranded on a reef in the shallows- the current feeding grounds for a great white shark. Either "The Shallows" is a good balance between 'survival drama' (what "Open Water" was trying to do) and 'shark thriller' (what "Shark Night" was trying to do) or it's too much of one to function as the other. While its confused identity certainly causes problems for the narrative, I still enjoyed myself and appreciated how well made it was. The CGI for the shark was excellent. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 12, 2016)

MINI REVIEWS: Dai Gyakuten Saiban is getting a translation patch 

- Bone Tomahawk (2016): Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox and Richard Jenkins form a posse to chase down a tribe of cannibals who have abducted members of their town in this western-horror hybrid.

- The Fifth Wave (2016): Chloe Grace Moretz stars as a survivor of the first four waves of an alien invasion and is desperately trying to locate her brother as the fifth begins...

- The Invasion (2007): Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig attempt to stop an alien invasion, where the extraterrestrials take over the bodies of humans in this remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". I did a full re-review, but included my original work as well.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 17, 2016)

*MINI REVIEWS*: Dai Gyakuten Saiban is getting a translation patch 

- Ghostbusters (1984): Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson star as experts in the paranormal, who decide to run a business that specializes in the removal of ghosts in this iconic comedy/horror.

- Ghostbusters II (1989): The Ghostbusters return when a mysterious slime starts negatively impacting peoples emotions in this polarizing sequel.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 28, 2016)

*Lights Out (2016)*- A dysfunctional family is plagued by a malicious entity that can only exist in the dark. Based on a popular short film, "Lights Out" is a good 'jump scare' horror experience, although it never goes beyond surface level entertainment. It's too short to be memorable or boring and the cast redeems some questionable dialogue. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2016)

*Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)*- A group of researchers travel to Borneo in order to locate an orchid that can potentially lengthen lives, but unfortunately it's in the territory of a female Anaconda and they have arrived during mating season...so now a group of horny male snakes are hunting our protagonists. This sequel to "Anaconda" is surprisingly...dull...A below average flick in every single way. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2016)

*Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)*- Set during the Victorian Era, a zombie plague has ravaged England. But more importantly, a group of warrior sisters struggle with finding husbands and true love. Some concepts just don't go together very well and it's hard to balance "Pride and Prejudice" and "Zombies", which will ensure that neither fanbase will be satisfied. Maybe if you're partial to both, you'll appreciate it more? I personally thought the film was a trainwreck, even though the filmmakers clearly gave it their best shot. 

1.5/4


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## Six (Aug 25, 2016)

@MartialHorror, what is your opinion of Troll 2?


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## MartialHorror (Aug 25, 2016)

It's bad, but it's bizarrely entertaining.


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## Jake CENA (Sep 1, 2016)

*Train to Busan*

9/10

Its the best zombie movie that i've seen so far. It has a great balance of scares and light hearted moments. The plot was essentially simple but the characters made it an enjoyable experience. Its a must see movie guys. Watch it its worth it!


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## Ae (Sep 2, 2016)

@MartialHorror There are 6 Wrong Turn movies, are you going to watch those?


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## MartialHorror (Sep 2, 2016)

One day...Are you making a request, lol?

On another note, I did a video review of "Don't Breathe".


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## Ae (Sep 2, 2016)

Just putting it out there because it appear you enjoy bad franchises.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 5, 2016)

*The Forest (2016)*- Sara (Natalie Dormer) travels to Japan to search the infamous 'Suicide Forest' for her missing sister, but finds ghosts instead. You can really tell the filmmakers tried their hardest to make a compelling thriller here, but the movie is constantly stumbling over its own feet with bad writing and cheap jump scares. I suspect the studio hijacked this project at some point, as "The Forest" seems to want to focus on the psychological element and moody atmosphere, with most of the 'ghost attacks' feeling out-of-place. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 17, 2016)

*Blair Witch (2016)*- James (James Allen McCune) is the brother of Heather from "The Blair Witch Project", who has been missing since the events of that movie. After seeing some footage of what might be her in peril, he decides to mount his own investigation into the woods of the Blair Witch. His party is armed with advanced equipment and a pair of guides, but then they get lost...and then they start hearing things at night...and then...

"Blair Witch" is a pretty good sequel that expands on the Blair Witch mythology, while providing its own content in terms of characterizations and scares. Yet it also moves at a faster pace than its predecessor did and relies a lot less on our imagination- for better or worse. It tries to appeal to both fans and detractors of "The Blair Witch Project", but whether or not it worked depends on you. I liked it. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 22, 2016)

*The Blair Witch Project (1999)*- Three Students investigate the myth of the Blair Witch for an amateur documentary and enter the woods she allegedly prowls...They are never seen again, but the footage they shot was found, revealing their disturbing fates. "The Blair Witch Project" will either scare or bore you, with very little middle ground to experience. I thought it was terrifying, but I understand why it's not for everyone. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2016)

*Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)*- In a universe that is supposed to be our own, "The Blair Witch Project" was a work of fiction that became a cultural phenomenon. Die hard fans tour the filming locations, but find themselves encountering their own set of strange occurrences. Is the Blair Witch real? Or are they going insane? The studio hijacked the production and converted the directors' slow burn, psychological thriller into a more marketable horror film, which only ruined the narrative. The original version sounds more interesting, but would it have been good? I have my doubts, as "Book of Shadows" has the most unpleasant, pretentious, assholes imaginable functioning as our protagonists. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 11, 2016)

*MINI-REVIEWS*: Volcanion

-Backtrack (2015): Adrien Brody is a psychiatrist with a troubled past, who starts seeing ghostly visions. Is he going crazy? Or is he haunted? It's more of a slow burn, psychological drama-thriller than a conventional horror flick? 

-Legendary: Tomb of the Dragon (2013): Scott Adkins plays a scientist adventurer who specializes in tracking and capturing rare and mythological creatures and he's tasked with capturing a 'dragon' that has been spotted in China. Complicating the issue is that his rival, a hunter played by Dolph Lundgren, also wants the beast for his own reasons. Despite boasting two martial arts stars, this contains no fighting and is instead an action-adventure-thriller.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 14, 2016)

*Shin Godzilla (2016)*- The Japanese Government struggles to hold itself together when a giant, radioactive monster attacks their country. This was the first Toho Godzilla flick since 2004 and is the only one to be a hard reboot for the franchise, not even taking place in the same continuity as the original. Whereas Godzilla was originally conceived as a metaphor for nuclear destruction, this version is really about the 2011 Tsunami and the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster which occurred in its wake. This isn't for everyone, as many will overlook the subtext, feel that it's Anti-American or find it to be too talky for their tastes. Maybe they won't like the new monster design or the fact that it's a full-on remake. But I thought the movie was exceptional, boasting a strong script and stylishly creative visuals. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 15, 2016)

Suspiria? I love it. It's probably my favorite Argento flick.


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## Yasha (Oct 15, 2016)

MartialHorror said:


> One day...Are you making a request, lol?
> 
> On another note, I did a video review of "Don't Breathe".



You slimmed down a lot. What happened?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 15, 2016)

Exercise and watching what I eat. I've lost like 70-75 pounds over the last 5 years.

Reactions: Winner 1


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2016)

RE-REVIEW!
(includes the original review)

*Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)*- Omnipresent serial killer Michael Myers and his arch-nemesis Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) survive the climactic explosion of "Halloween 2", but sometime afterwards our previous heroine Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) perished in a car crash. She had a daughter named Jamie (Danielle Harris) though and when Michael learns of her existence, he makes Jamie his new target. But this time, Loomis and the town of Haddonfield are ready...or are they? In my opinion, this is the best of the "Halloween" sequels, striving to forge its own path while paying respect to the original. But more importantly, it's a lot of fun. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 4, 2016)

*NEW MINI REVIEWS*: http://bitfister.com/…/martialhorror-reviews-everything-ak…/

- Zombeavers (2014): A comedy-horror about zombified beavers...BEST. IDEA. EVER.

- Blood Father (2016): Mel Gibson plays a politically incorrect, recovering alcoholic, trailer trash Father who must defend his daughter against cartel enforcers in this action thriller...that might be based on Mel himself...

- Regression (2015): A psychological thriller starring Ethan Hawk as a detective investigating a conspiracy surrounding Satanists. Directed by the guy who helmed "The Others".


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## Uncle Acid (Nov 5, 2016)

Zombeavers is a fun film. Great idea, good execution. A perfect film to watch together with some friends while drinking beer.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 11, 2016)

*Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)*- Burt Gummer (Michael Gross) has made a name for himself as a monster hunter since the events of "Tremors 2", but more graboids pop up in his hometown and they're evolving into something new. Can the humble town of Perfection survive? Whereas "Tremors" and "Tremors 2" balanced comedy and horror, "Tremors 3" is played entirely for laughs. Unfortunately, I didn't think it was very funny and the drastically reduced budget really shows with the embarrassing special effects. The cast keeps the movie tolerable though, as they are having a blast and they're doing their best to make this work. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 24, 2016)

*Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)*- A prequel set during the 'wild west'- Hiram Gummer (Michael Gross-playing an ancestor of Burt) is the eccentric owner of a silver mine that is the lifeblood for a nearby town known as 'Rejection'. But when the miners are attacked by giant, underground, carnivorous worms known as 'Dirt Dragons', he must get all the hired guns he can afford. Because unlike his descendant Burt, Hiram hates weapons and is a bit of a dandy. The film uses its resources more sparingly than its predecessors, resulting in some good scenes with good special effects, but you'll spend the remainder of the movie impatiently waiting for them to occur. I prefer it over "Tremors 3" though. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 1, 2016)

*Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015)*- Burt Gummer (Michael Gross) is back, now the host of a survivalist web-series. But when Graboids appear in Africa, he and his videographer (Jamie Kennedy) go to investigate, only to learn that they're dealing with a new breed of Graboid. There are two ways to approach this sequel, based on your feelings of the previous sequels. The first is that this is a HUGE step up from the last two, as there is a lot more suspense and excitement, along with vastly improved CGI. The second is that even though this is superior to "Tremors 3" and "Tremors 4" on a technical level, it lacks their quirkiness and charm. I guess I swing both ways? Regardless, I was entertained. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2016)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS

- Cold Prey (2006): A Norwegian Slasher, with a cold winter theme about a group of thrill seeking skiers getting stuck in an abandoned hotel...where a serial killer lurks. This was apparently a big deal in its home country and got two sequels in the process.

- Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959): This is the most notorious flick by the most infamous director ever, Ed Wood. Humanity is on the verge of creating a weapon that threatens the Universe, so aliens retaliate by...resurrecting our dead to kill us? Sounds legit to me...


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## MartialHorror (Dec 21, 2016)

*Holidays (2016)*- A horror anthology, with each short being based around a different holiday- Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, Christmas and New Year's Eve. Some of the directors are known only for some obscure direct-to-DVD releases, but others include Scott Stewart ("Priest", "Dark Skies"), Gary Shore ("Dracula Untold") and the most famous of the group: Kevin Smith ("Clerks"). But despite all of this talent and experience, the movie kind of sucks. It doesn't appear that any of these filmmakers really collaborated, as the majority of these shorts don't go very well together, with too many sharing similar ideas, themes and a slow burn pacing that leads to abrupt, unsatisfying endings. But even on their own, most of them are not very entertaining or effective. "Father's Day" is the only good one, although "Easter" and "New Year's Eve" have some merit. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 27, 2016)

NEW MINI REVIEWS: _Yandere Simulator_

-The Wailing (2016): A South Korean horror flick about a cop investigating a string of bizarre murders in a remote village.

- Dead Rising: Watchtower (2015): A live-action adaptation of the popular video game franchise about a reporter who finds himself stranded in a zombie quarantine zone.

- Dead Rising 2: Endgame (2016): The Sequel to "Watchtower", where the same reporter returns to the quarantine zone in order to stop an evil plot by the military.

- Stage Fright (2014): A slasher-comedy-MUSICAL about a killer who preys upon singing students at a musical theater camp.


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## Uncle Acid (Dec 27, 2016)

Stage Fright is proper underrated IMO. It's not perfect, but it's just got something a bit unique about it that I really liked. And I don't get the hate at all. Thought Meat Loaf were phenomenal in it.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2017)

*Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)*- Vampire Elite Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is drawn back into the war with the Lycans (werewolves) for...reasons...The franchise has become zombified by this point and it's obvious that the Underworld namebrand wants to be put out of its misery, as it's so uninterested in its own characters, story and action set pieces. A very dull experience and a new low for a series that was never that good to begin with. 

1/4

NOTE: I am stepping away from reviewing, but so this writing isn't quite as structured or analytical as my more formal reviews, but I do intend on filling up the "Underworld: Blood Wars" page with reviews for the other Underworld flicks, making it more about the franchise as a whole.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Jan 28, 2017)

My 'Best Movies of 2016' list: "The Top 9 Movies that TRIED to redeem 2016!"
- 

My 'Worst Movies of 2016' list: "The Top 10 Donald Trumpiest Movies of 2016: Now with 10% less sexual assault!"
- 

Remember that these are only my opinions, children.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 31, 2017)

*Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017)*- Alice (Milla Jovovich) continues to survive in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, even though she has been betrayed by Wesker (Shawn Roberts) and left for dead. But the Red Queen (Ever Anderson), the same super computer program who has caused Alice so much trouble in the past, appears and informs her that the Umbrella Corporation has developed a cure- for some stupid reason, considering they want to wipe out humanity. If she doesn't release it within a limited time period though, humanity will perish for good. The "Resident Evil" franchise, which has admittedly only survived as a series of guilty pleasures, ends on its lowest note. "The Final Chapter" is at least as dumb as its predecessors, except it can't even get the overarching continuity right thanks to multiple retcons, so maybe it's actually dumber. The action scenes aren't even good, as the cinematography suffers from murky lighting and the editing is so tight and spastic that it becomes difficult to keep up with what is going on.  

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 5, 2017)

*Rings (2017)*- Technically a sequel to "The Ring" and "The Ring TwO", even though this also functions as a reboot, the ghost of Samara continues to kill anyone who watches the 'cursed tape'- which has now been digitized. A young couple gets drawn into her wrath and resolve to free her soul and end the curse. "Rings" is boring because the characters are solving a mystery that we already know the answer too, as the story more-or-less hits the same beats as its predecessors. Whenever we learn something new, it's information we could've done without, as it adds nothing to the overarching lore and diminishes the mysteriousness of Samara. The filmmakers fall back on cheap jump scares and nightmare sequences, but they're so telegraphed and lame that you never feel anyone is in peril. "Rings" is just boring, arguably even moreso than "The Ring TwO". 

1/4

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "Underworld_ (2003-2017)_".

- This is a new review series I'm planning, dedicated to critiquing franchises. This will be a long and slow undertaking, as I won't start the posting process until I've watched every single film within the chosen franchise...which will be on my own time. I wouldn't count on another one until at least April, maybe later. My first subject is-

"Underworld"- The 5-part saga dedicated to the struggle between vampires and lycans (werewolves), primarily surrounding the vampire assassin known as Selene (Kate Beckinsale). Includes reviews of "Underworld (2003)", "Underworld: Evolution (2006)", "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)", "Underworld: Awakening (2012)" and "Underworld: Blood Wars (2017)".


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## MartialHorror (Mar 4, 2017)

NEW MINI REVIEWS: Link removed

Train in Busan (2016)- A South Korean action-horror flick about a group of people trying to survive a zombie outbreak on a train. This is one of my favorite movies of 2016, but I didn't see it until I had already posted my 'Best Of' list. I'd probably place it in my #3 spot. 

The Monster (2016)- A troubled mother and daughter pair are driving in the middle of nowhere on a stormy night, only to find themselves stranded on a lonely road, where a deadly monster is on the prowl. This horror/drama hybrid comes from the man most famous for directing "The Strangers".  

Frankenstein's Army (2013)- A 'found footage' survival horror flick set during World War 2, about a group of Russian Soldiers who investigate a mysterious village, where a mad doctor has created robotic, zombified Nazi's.


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## Ae (Mar 4, 2017)

Have you seen _Shaolin vs. Evil Dead?_


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## MartialHorror (Mar 5, 2017)

Ae said:


> Have you seen _Shaolin vs. Evil Dead?_



I think so, if it has Gordon Liu in it. If memory serves, it was kind of underwhelming and ended with a sequel hook, although I don't think there was ever a real sequel.


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## Ae (Mar 5, 2017)

That's unfortunate. That title is really eye catching.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 7, 2017)

(the following is a cleaned up re-posting of an older review)

*Lifeforce (1985)*- Astronauts accidentally bring home a naked 'space vampire' chick, who seeks to drain humans of their 'lifeforce' and infect the general populace. Tobe Hooper's bizarre mash-up of other movies' ideas ("Alien", "Quatermass and the Pit", "The Thing", etc) is wildly uneven, benefiting from incredible production values, but a weak script and questionable performances from the actors. While initially regarded as a flop, it has developed a cult following. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 11, 2017)

*Kong: Skull Island (2017)*- A group of soldiers, scientists and monster hunters are stranded on an uncharted island, which is filled with an assortment of monsters, lead by a giant ape known as 'Kong'. This isn't striving for the pathos and tragedy of "King Kong", but instead wants to be a nasty, exciting, intense action-adventure-thriller and I think it excels as such. The cast are having a blast, while the art direction is incredible. I had a lot of fun. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2017)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS! http://bitfister.com/…/martialhorror-reviews-everything-ak…/

- Argento's Dracula (2012): An adaptation of the famous Bram Stoker's classic novella, "Dracula", complete with the same story where Dracula attempts to claim Mina Harker as his own. The only person who can save her is Dracula's nemesis, Van Hellsing. This is directed by the horror maestro, Dario Argento ("Suspiria"), but it's shockingly bad.

- The Funhouse Massacre (2015): A group of psychopaths, each armed with a different gimmick (wrestling clown, taxidermist, cult leader, etc) escape a mental institution and terrorize a local carnival. A horror-comedy which boasts Robert Englund on the poster, as if he's the main character, but his role is merely a cameo.

- Zodiac (2007): The Zodiac Killer terrorizes California throughout the 1960's and early 1970's, and a comic artist becomes obsessed with solving the case. Directed by David Fincher, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downy Jr. This is another cleaned up re-posting that had been lost on my old website.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 1, 2017)

RE-REVIEW!!!*

Zombieland(2009)*- Zombies have taken over the world and it's up to a few survivors to...go to an amusement park? At what point does an idea become so absurd that it ends up being genius? The film is a gory, thrilling and especially funny roller-coaster ride only faulted by a few pacing snags. But it does have a touching story underneath all those zombie guts. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 18, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "_ (2002-2017)_".

"Resident Evil"- The 6-part saga dedicated to Alice (Milla Jovovich), a woman with a mysterious past and super human abilities, who continuously fights for survival amidst a zombie apocalypse. This is (loosely) based on the popular video game series of the same name. Includes reviews of "Resident Evil (2002)", "Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)", "Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)", "Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)", "Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) and "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017)".


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## MartialHorror (Jun 5, 2017)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS! http://bitfister.com/…/martialhorror-reviews-everything-ak…/

I actually posted these like a month ago, but forgot to promote them...

Alien 2: On Earth (1980)- A psychic and her explorer friends are attacked by an alien in an underground cave in this 'unofficial' sequel to "Alien", which was produced 6 years prior to the now iconic "Aliens". Yes, this exists.

Castle Freak (1995)- Directed by Stuart Gordon ("Re-animator"), Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton star as a troubled married couple who inherit a castle and the psychopath who dwells within it. 

Yellow Teeth (1990)- Set in the early 1900's, a crazed bear terrorizes the mountainside, devouring the family of a girl- who swears vengeance. Based on a true story, this was directed by Sonny Chiba.


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## Uncle Acid (Jun 7, 2017)

And Castle Freak is underrated as fuck. What a film and what an atmosphere!


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## wibisana (Jun 7, 2017)

Uncle Acid said:


> Fantastic film and a must-see for any fan of horror and martial arts films IMO. I'm a huge fan of the jiangshi subgenre, and this is easily one of the very best films of the genre alongside a classic like Encounters of the Spooky Kind and the phenomenal Rigor Mortis from 2013.
> 
> I can understand people not being into these type of films, but one should at least try a few of them as they usually offer badass martial arts, hilarious comedy and nice elements of horror. Though, they never go into the land of trying to scare you, but that shouldn't be a problem.


Where do you download it? And what about subtitle?
I cant speak Chinese

It was dubeb and run in TV Indonesia years ago when i was a kid

I miss it so much

Other jiang shi is really cool
And too bad the main star (most famous actor i forgot his name) is dead while ago


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## MartialHorror (Jun 19, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW!!!*
-Informal reviews are just going to be my opinions and will not contain proof-reading, nor do I intend for them to showcase my beautiful prose. These will be the writing equivalent of vlogs.
*
Witching and Bitching (2013)*- This wasn't bad for a movie with this title...which is the greatest title in the history of mankind...It's a Spanish comedy-horror about some thieves who wander into a witches coven, with the emphasis being more on the comedy than the horror. I actually thought this was fairly funny thanks to a lot of snappy dialogue, but I couldn't tell if it was a satire on misogynism or if it was just misogynist...I think it was trying to be the former, but it wasn't as clever as the filmmakers thought it was, so it ended up just coming across as misogynist. According to this movie, if women do not fit the expectations of men, then they are evil witches. Some of the plot developments were bizarre, like how the hottest of the witches suddenly falls in love with the protagonist. It's funny how her fellow witches are saying things like "A girl you're age should be doing drugs and having orgies, not falling in love", but it comes out of nowhere and tries to excuse her previous evil acts. Eventually the guy- who at this point has been a bit of a woman hater- decides to return her feelings, declaring that she doesn't have to change for him, but the ending shows she does...she becomes exactly what he wanted her to be, throwing that character development away. It's low budget, but some of the effects and visuals are pretty good. It's not scary, but it can be kind of f@cked up and the characters are all distinct. Above everything though, it's amusing enough to stream on hulu or netflix, as long as you don't mind subtitles.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 25, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW
*
*Freaks of Nature (2015)*- Vampires, humans and zombies grudgingly co-exist as an obvious allegory for the various class systems in America (ranging from financial status to high school popularity), but are forced to unite when aliens invade. I love this premise, so was saddened to see it reduced to a high school coming-of-age dramedy by the middle block. There is still some fun content, particularly during the blood soaked and amusing opening act. The cast also keeps everything together, if only barely, as they're all talented performers with decent comedic timing. But the movie loses a lot of momentum when the jokes slow down and teenaged angst takes the stage over the laughs, zombies and vampires, with even the aliens seemingly fading into the background. The ending rips off "The World's End" and one 'twist' near the end had underwhelming makeup effects. I struggled with rating this, as I felt the movie landed somewhere between 2 and 2.5/4 stars. Overall, it's disappointing but not necessarily bad. 

2/4 stars


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## MartialHorror (Jul 2, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW
*
*DeepStar Six (1989)*- A Nuclear Navy Base sitting on the Ocean floor is besieged by a mysterious monster. During the late 80's, this trend started where "Alien" clones were set in the depths of the sea. I can only assume that everyone was trying to cash in on "The Abyss" before it came out, except "The Abyss" sort of...bombed...and all of the rest of them bombed too. This was the first of the bunch, but despite boasting a cast of familiar faces and being directed by Sean S. Cunningham ("Friday the 13th"), few people seem to remember this. I suspect it is because "Leviathan" upstaged "DeepStar Six" as the schlocky B-monster response to "The Abyss", as it had the superior special effects. The matte paintings and miniatures on display here were pretty poor, while the monster just looks OK. Yet I still enjoyed this movie, as I found the characters to be likable and interesting. I also liked the pacing, which was neither too slow or too fast.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 15, 2017)

INFORMAL REVIEW

*Monsters (2010)*- A photojournalist is tasked with escorting the daughter of his employer from Mexico to America, which wouldn't be a problem, except Mexico has been overrun by monsters...While this plot sounds epic, the film is actually an indy-flick that focuses on drama. This was shot for half a million dollars, but despite the low budget, the special effects...in the rare circumstances you get to see them...are impressive. The cinematography captures the beauty of its locations, while also building a sense of dread and wonder. The cast holds things together pretty well, but the problem is that the film is one big tease. It makes you think you're finally going to get something...and then it cuts away, deflating the tension and excitement...But then it starts building up to something awesome aga- oh wait, it cut away again...Is it a surprise that this was directed by Gareth Edwards? Is it a surprise that this is what got him the job for "Godzilla (2014)"? But whereas "Godzilla" at least finally gave us a pay-off after all of its teasing, "Monsters" has a very unsatisfying ending and that left a bitter taste in my mouth. I respect this movie more than I like it. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 25, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- Gamera: The Showa Era _(1965-1980)_

- "Gamera: The Showa Era"- The 8-part saga of Gamera, a giant, flying, fire breathing turtle who began as a menace to humanity, but quickly develops into our greatest defender, especially when children are in peril. Gamera faces a barrage of monsters who are often even more bizarre than he is, for they have abilities like being able to fire Shuriken from their nostrils, destructive rainbow blasts and toxins from their nipples. He also battles a Star Destroyer...The "Gamera" franchise is often considered the Z-grade, kid friendly response to Godzilla, but is it that bad??? Includes reviews of "Gamera: The Giant Monster (1965)", "Gamera Vs Barugon (1966)", "Gamera Vs Gyaos (1967)", "Gamera Vs Space Monster Viras (1968)", "Gamera Vs Guiron (1969)", "Gamera Vs Jiger (1970)", "Gamera Vs Zigra (1971)" and "Gamera: Super Monster (1980)"- which is a soft reboot. The story of Gamera continues in the Heisei Era, but that will get its own series of reviews.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 27, 2017)

INFORMAL REVIEW!
*
The Cure for Wellness (2016)*- Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) is an ambitious finance executive who is tasked with retrieving a Company Partner from a mysterious Wellness Center, located in the Swiss Alps. But once he arrives, weird things start to happen...I'm not sure if I'd describe this as some sort of mad genius at work or if it's just fascinating garbage...I can't even completely decide what my own feelings are for this movie, but it definitely has that 'cult classic' kind of appeal, even if it's nowhere near as good as it seems to think it is. I think we can all agree that Gore Verbinski has an eye for visuals and the film uses its budget to maximum effect, capturing many incredibly gorgeous shots and a lot of strange ones too. This is definitely a cinematographers wet dream, as the setting alone is visually striking, not even including the mountainous shots and matte paintings. The cast also does really good, with Jason Isaacs being perfect as the 'nice doctor who may not be so nice' and Dane DeHaan actually fitting this role pretty well. I do like how "The Cure for Wellness" has a modern day gothic vibe going on, drawing a lot of inspiration from the Universal Monster classics and Hammer Horror. On the negative side, the editing was pretty jarring at times. There is this one edit that made me think a time skip had just happened, but nope, the same scene was still occurring (when DeHaan almost gets caught rummaging through an office). There is another edit where a time skip does occur, but it feels like something had just been cut out (what immediately follows the 'dentist' scene).

Everything else though is kind of...murky, in that I'm not sure whether it's good or bad. Verbinski does a great job at building a sense of unease and dread, but the long running-time causes the atmosphere to sort of erode. Most horror films cannot go beyond 2 hours because eventually we'll get used to its suspense building tactics and what begins as great can quickly become boring. This is over 2 and a half hours long, but doesn't appear to have the content to justify the running-time. I felt like the film was repeating the same gimmicks, but here is the problem: Whenever DeHaan sees the crazy shit, like the eels, he acts like they are a physical threat to him. Yet we don't feel the intensity because we know they are in his head and the only question is "is he insane or is he being drugged"? So I felt tension when he is being harassed by the doctors, but when there is a scene where he sees the creatures in the toilet, I felt nothing because I knew they weren't there. I think "The Cure For Wellness" should've at least been 40 minutes shorter.

The characters worked well enough within the context of this story, but I did take some issue with Mia Goth's character. She looks and acts like a child to where I actually thought she was like 14, so when DeHaan or someone else would appear attracted to her, it would kind of freak me out. I did appreciate how Dehaan does develop and his unpleasant personality isn't caricatured. Yet the story doesn't always make sense and it becomes increasingly ludicrous as time moves along. The good news is that I was often caught off guard by some of the twists. It explores territory that I would've have expected it to enter. The bad news is that it goes too ridiculous to where I struggled with taking the finale seriously. The final shot tries its best to be the kind of ambiguous type of closure that the audiences will want to discuss afterwards, but I thought it was outright silly. So "The Cure for Wellness" was an interesting experience, one that brought me some joy and frustration. It's the type of Hollywood self indulgence that will eventually find its audience, while also revealing the weaknesses of the director. You'd think after the "Pirates of the Caribbean" trilogy and "Lone Ranger" that a project more reminiscent of "The Ring" would be a nice change of pace, but it suffers a lot of the weaknesses his bigger budgeted works, while also showcasing most of their strengths...This is just somewhat unique because said strengths usually don't appear in a horror film. Should you watch it? I don't know, does any of this intrigue you? I think it's too flawed to be called good, but has enough merit that it should be dismissed either. It just comes down to what you want out of it.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2017)

*Annabelle: Creation (2017)*- A group of young, orphan girls stay at an isolated farmhouse, where mysterious and spooky events occur, all surrounding the titular Annabelle- an ugly looking doll that seems to be a conduit for an evil entity. This prequel is a major step up from the first "Annabelle", although it's not quite on par with "The Conjuring". It's pretty good, with plenty of solid scares and a sense of fun that works best with a crowd. Link removed

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 3, 2017)

NEW MINI-REVIEWS

-Ouija (2014)- Silly teenagers make the mistake of playing with a haunted Ouija Board in this infamous horror flick that somehow was hugely successful, despite being one of the more panned genre features in recent memory.

-Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)- The prequel to "Ouija", set in the 1950's, about a family who runs afoul of the haunted Ouija Board. This one was infamous for being critically acclaimed, despite being the unwanted follow-up to the reviled "Ouija".


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## MartialHorror (Sep 22, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- "".

The giant, flying, fire breathing turtle known as Gamera is back, but this time he gets a darker and edgier makeover, with the (charming) ludicrousness of the Showa Era being replaced by quality film-making. Somehow, the idea of a good Gamera movie is even more absurd than monsters firing shuriken snot and killer rainbows...Includes reviews of "Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995)", "Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion (1996)", "Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris (1999)" and another reboot, "Gamera the Brave (2006)".


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## MartialHorror (Sep 23, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEWS!!!

Grabbers (2013)* is a comedy-horror about a coastal Irish town being terrorized by creatures known as 'Grabbers'...because they grab people, before eating them...This Irish-British production is entertaining thanks to plenty of decent effects, thrills and laughs. I thought it was funny how the characters discover that the titular monsters are allergic to alcohol, so they get drunk to repel the grabbers. The problem is...being thoroughly wasted while battling monsters is not easy. Yet while it works both as a horror and as a comedy, it doesn't really excel as either and I doubt I'll remember it in the long run. Still, nothing wrong with being a fun divergence.  

3/4

*Area 51 (2015)* was shot in 2009, intended to be Oren Peli's follow-up to his shockingly successful "Paranormal Activity", but didn't come out until 2015, where it was unceremoniously released for VOD. I had to assume that Peli realized that this movie was crap and could potentially hurt his brand, so delayed the release until people stopped caring about Peli and his brand. For what it's worth, this found footage flick about three dudes trying to break into Area 51, is not necessarily terrible. I can't think of anything unforgivably stupid or poorly rendered, but I can't think of anything particularly impressive about it either. "Paranormal Activity" might have been slow and showcased a minimalist kind of filmmaking that bored a lot of people, but I thought it was creepy. It had a foreboding atmosphere and gradually built up tension, before spiking as a shriek. "Area 51" just didn't ever grab me the same way, even though it's using a lot of the same tactics and it felt more like a "Blair Witch Project" wannabe thanks to the faux-documentary approach. Why do these movies have to spoil the endings in their first scenes? It only worked with "The Blair Witch Project" because of its highly unconventional marketing campaign that tricked audiences into thinking it's real, but we're not going to be fooled in the age of the internet and all these 'And They Were Never Seen Again' prologues do is kill our investment, as why should we become emotionally attached to indisputably doomed characters? 

1.5/4
*
The Girl With All The Gifts (2016)* is an excellent, highly unconventional zombie flick that's difficult to review because it works best going in blind. But I will say this- the film is beautifully shot and creatively written, boasting strong performances, strong characters, nerve wracking suspense and surprising twists. I believe it's a modern genre classic and you should all watch it, even if you're indifferent to zombies. 

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 29, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEWS!!!*

NETFLIX DERBY!
-I binge watched a lot of movies that I don't really want to review on my Mothers' netflix stream account, while I was housesitting, so here they are!  

*Byzantium (2012)* is about a pair of Vampires (Saoirse Ronan, Gemma Arterton), who move to a coastal town where they try to judge. Despite having some terse scenes, this isn't a horror flick. It's more of a moody character understudy, but it can't be categorized into any genre, as it has bits and pieces of fantasy, romance, drama and horror. Not my kind of movie, but it's very well done, boasting strong characters, dialogue, performances, cinematography, etc. 

3/4

*Last Shift (2014)* focuses on a lone, rookie policewoman who is assigned to watch an abandoned police station on the night before it gets demolished. Then strange and spooky occurrences start happening...Solid chiller that remains consistently entertaining, despite recycling a lot of the same scars. 

3/4

*We Are Still Here (2015)* starts off like a conventional haunting flick, where a couple move to a lonely house to cope with the death of their son, only to encounter the paranormal. The characters are fun and the acting is good, but it plays out like a normal ghost story, with all of the cliches that come with the genre...but then it starts entering new territory and I spent the second half not entirely sure what to expect...and I loved it! 

3.5/4

*Zoombies (2016)* is an Asylum Production, so you know it must be terrible...and it does not disappoint! A zoo comprised entirely of endangered animals is overrun with a zombie virus, which turns the animals into durable, bloodthirsty abominations. There are two kinds of Asylum Productions, the first being the kind that are so cheap that most of the screen-time is comprised of a few characters talking in a room, because the filmmakers couldn't afford anything else. The second is the kind that is cheap, but at least they had enough money to throw lots of hilariously bad special effects at the camera and could maintain a variety of locations. This is the latter and while yes, there are horrendous performances, effects, dialogue, editing, writing and everything else, "Zoombies" is deliberately bad, so it's impossible to criticize. You're supposed to be laughing at it and I laughed, so...it's a success? 

2/4

*Clown (2014)* surrounds a man who puts on a clown suit, but realizes he can't take it off...and it's slowly turning him into a monster that craves the flesh of children...Someone watched this movie and said: "We should hire this director to do "Spider-Man: Homecoming"!", which is amazing...and the film was pretty good too. It boasts a unique concept, strong performances, grotesque effects and is very...brave...when it comes to its treatment of children. There are also some interesting visuals, such as the 'rainbow blood' and who would've ever thought that a Jungle Gym would make for a suspenseful setting? "Clown" is definitely worth watching if you're into body-horror. 

3.5/4

*The Legend of Hell House (1973)* is considered a classic and while it deserves the reputation, I thought it was held back by a weak ending, which becomes very talky and exposition heavy. The story involves a group of paranormal experts staying in an allegedly haunted house, where...what do you think will happen? The visuals are hypnotic, thanks to the psychedelic lighting and the atmosphere can be quite oppressive. The cast is really stellar as well, although sometimes I struggled taking Roddy McDowall seriously...maybe because he often looks like Jim Carrey? "Legend of Hell House" is very 1970's with its style, fashions and sexually charged nature. I think it's good, but not the best of its kind.

3/4

*The Houses October Built (2014)* is a found footage flick, about a handful of friends who go on a road trip to explore the countries' most terrifying haunted houses. Their journey takes them to the backwoods haunting scene, where lines start being crossed. This was actually pretty good, so strong in its build-up that it goes full circle and becomes disappointing thanks to its garbage ending. The cast is fun, they endure a lot of freaky encounters and the mounting suspense becomes unbearable after a point. I also liked how it was drenched in Halloween-themed imagery and how the story is both unique but grounded in some reality. It just has a weak pay-off, which is unfortunate, because I was ready to hail it as one of the best of its kind. 

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Sep 30, 2017)

Some solid films there. The Legend of Hell House is a proper classic, but I do agree that it's not the best of its kind. Not even close. But still fantastic! We Are Still Here is a modern/future classic and Last Shift is top notch.

Wasn't quite sold on The Houses October Built, tho. Decent, but nothing more IMO.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 30, 2017)

Found Footage flicks are almost impossible to gauge objectively, as they rely entirely on their ability to scare you. Other movies, like "Halloween", "Alien", etc have other attributes to fall back on (cinematography, editing, score, effects, etc), but 'found footage' will always have limited range. Even "Paranormal Activity" and "The Blair Witch Project" are divisive. 

Apparently "Houses October Built" is coming out with a sequel and I've heard mixed things about it too. The funny thing is based on the synopsis 
*Spoiler*: __ 



The characters all survived, so maybe it was just an intense prank? But they're all traumatized and want to confront their fears, so decide to do this shit all over again...SERIOUSLY!?


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## Uncle Acid (Sep 30, 2017)

I know what you mean and completely agree. I'm quite a big fan of found footage horror in general, tho. They're usually never top tier films, but there's something about the "genre" that really excites me. There' so much potential there. But the main problem, for me at least, is that for every good one there's 50 awful ones and 50 mediocre ones.

You seen Banshee Chapter, The Taking of Deborah Logan, The Conspiracy, Creep and Lake Mungo? I think all these were great. All very different from each other, and all very good. I especially liked the Lovecraftian vibe of Banshee Chapter. But it should be noted that I have an extreme weakness for anything that feels Lovecraftian, be it films, comics, paintings or music. So it might not be all that great in most other people's eyes.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 30, 2017)

The only one I've seen is "Lake Mungo", but "The Conspiracy" is on my to-do list and I'll add the others. I also like Lovecraftian-esque works. I plan on reading the works of H.P Lovecraft sometime. I'm indifferent to found footage. When it's good, it can be quite frightening. But when it goes bad, it can go SO bad.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW!*
*
Seven Death's in the Cat's Eye (1973)* is formally listed as an Italian horror flick, although I suspect it's an Italian-French co production...that takes place in Scotland...Guests at an old castle start getting murdered, all seemingly surrounding a mysterious cat. It's heavy on atmosphere, putting emphasis on the creepy castle, crypt and cemetery. The visuals balance Gothic with psychedelic, erotica with the grotesque and the imagery alone kept me engaged on some level...But the script is an incoherent disaster, although one can argue that the movie is more memorable because of it. I still am struggling to come to terms with what really happened, as little makes sense and sometimes the narrative seems to be contradicting itself...Why was there a gorilla roaming around off-screen? I feel like the movie was making its plot up as it went along, but this is common with Italian horror flicks of this time period, as they often aimed to be more akin to living nightmares. This might be the only movie I've ever seen where the dubbing might've been left unfinished, as they usually speak (dubbed) English, but they sometimes switch to the original language. "Seven Death's in the Cat's Eye" is worth watching, but only if you like these kinds of surreal, trashy horror pictures. 

2.5/4


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## Mickey Mouse (Oct 5, 2017)

Is Asylum Productions like the new Full Moon Features?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 5, 2017)

Good question. Maybe...Although Full Moon didn't do mockbusters and during its prime, you could do a lot more with little money in terms of movie making. The first "Puppet Master" had decent effects, despite its low budget. I haven't seen "Sharknado" (yet), but I assume it does not. With that said, the Asylum productions usually look bigger budgeted than some of the later Full Moon flicks, like "Retro Puppet Master".

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 5, 2017)

MartialHorror said:


> *INFORMAL REVIEW!*
> *
> Seven Death's in the Cat's Eye (1973)* is formally listed as an Italian horror flick, although I suspect it's an Italian-French co production...that takes place in Scotland...Guests at an old castle start getting murdered, all seemingly surrounding a mysterious cat. It's heavy on atmosphere, putting emphasis on the creepy castle, crypt and cemetery. The visuals balance Gothic with psychedelic, erotica with the grotesque and the imagery alone kept me engaged on some level...But the script is an incoherent disaster, although one can argue that the movie is more memorable because of it. I still am struggling to come to terms with what really happened, as little makes sense and sometimes the narrative seems to be contradicting itself...Why was there a gorilla roaming around off-screen? I feel like the movie was making its plot up as it went along, but this is common with Italian horror flicks of this time period, as they often aimed to be more akin to living nightmares. This might be the only movie I've ever seen where the dubbing might've been left unfinished, as they usually speak (dubbed) English, but they sometimes switch to the original language. "Seven Death's in the Cat's Eye" is worth watching, but only if you like these kinds of surreal, trashy horror pictures.
> 
> 2.5/4



I absolutely adore the shit out of this film. I mean, it's a complete mess of a film, but the mix of highly stylized gothic horror and giallo is just striking and makes for an atmosphere unlike anything I've previously seen. Personally I actually consider this a proper underrated and highly overlooked gem of a film. Riz Ortolani's score is top notch as always as well.

The fact that I am a huge fan of classic (Italian) gothic horror, and the fact that giallo might be my favourite subgenre of horror and I love surreal and nightmarish films probably helps me in liking films like this, tho.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 5, 2017)

And I'll go with Full Moon Productions/Entertainment/Features/whatever they're called. Castle Freak alone is good enough to beat the living shit out of The Asylum, and on top of the you have stuff like Puppet Master, Shadowzone, The Pit and the Pendulum, Subspecies and a lot more. And it's not like every Full Moon film is a classic, but you can see they've often put quite a lot effort into the films, and while they don't always manage to do so, they always try to make something that's decent/entertaining. At least back in the days.

The Asylum, as much as I really like some of their films, have, since the beginning, aimed towards make moves that's so bad they're good. What they don't quite seem to realize, is that stuff like Troll 2, The Astro-Zombies, Manos: The Hands of Fate, The Room, Reefer Madness, The Room, Samurai Cop and other classic so-bad-it's-gone films are made in all seriousness. They are made by people who truly believe in what they are doing, and that is something that truly shines through. The Asylum never managed to create such a feeling because it's so obvious what they are trying to do.


Castle Freak is the ultimate btw. It's not director Stuart Gordon or actors Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton's best film, but it's as close to being a classic without actually being one that you can get. Fantastic film!


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## Mickey Mouse (Oct 5, 2017)

MartialHorror said:


> Good question. Maybe...Although Full Moon didn't do mockbusters and during its prime, you could do a lot more with little money in terms of movie making. The first "Puppet Master" had decent effects, despite its low budget. I haven't seen "Sharknado" (yet), but I assume it does not. With that said, the Asylum productions usually look bigger budgeted than some of the later Full Moon flicks, like "Retro Puppet Master".



 Well I would think smaller budget now would look way better then smaller budget then. I mean most great affects then should be way more affordable now on a small budget. Yet like @Uncle Acid said asylum productions does not seem to put the heart behind there work like Full Moon did with some of their films.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 5, 2017)

The Asylum flicks looks god awful, and that is me being nice. They are awfully CGI-heavy and the CGI looks like something made by 16-17 year old kids for a school project. Sharknado, Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha, Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus and so fucking on are fun films, but what totally breaks them is the fact that they've tried way too hard to make films that are godawful and that will somehow gain status as a so-bad-it's-good. And, sure it so bad it's good, but not in the same way as e.g The Room. It just feels a bit tryhard and "false", in lack of a better word.


I like Scarecrow a lot, tho. It's an early The Asylum film. It's not a good film, but it's very, very charming and has lots of heart. Not too far away from some of the old Full Moon films actually. It's got much of the same feeling, and is not compareable to later The Asylum flicks at all. Totally recommended!


The difference between small budgets now and then is that back then they tried to make the best out of what they've got and just did their best. And even poor practical effects tends to be very fun to look at. With the likes of The Asylum they go for bad, bad CGI instead.

But small budgets in general is as good/bad (whichever you prefer) today as it was back then. It all comes down to how you approach it. But if you got a small budget, practical effects are always the way to go IMO. But too many go with CGI, and even good CGI dates really fast. Poor CGI in a semi-serious film is unbearable.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 5, 2017)

Superman said:


> Well I would think smaller budget now would look way better then smaller budget then. I mean most great affects then should be way more affordable now on a small budget. Yet like @Uncle Acid said asylum productions does not seem to put the heart behind there work like Full Moon did with some of their films.



Not really. These days it's easier to do effects, but it's also easier to just be lazy about it. With that said, most low budgeted horror flicks would find more creative to hide their effects' shortcomings, or to stand in for their effects, so they would need fewer SFX based scenes. These days they can throw something on the screen for little money, so even though the effects aren't anywhere near as good, there are a lot more of them. 

I vaguely remember "Scarecrow". I felt the same way, as even though it wasn't very good, you can tell they were trying. Unfortunately, I also remember "Scarecrow Goes Wild"...

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 7, 2017)

I'm having my yearly Horroctober month, and that means watching one horror film each day. For the past three days I've seen Hatchet I-III and I must say I am impressed. Didn't like Hatchet when it was released, but I loved it now. A really good and nice throwback slasher with superb special effects and lots of nice kills. Being a total throwback flick it's as unoriginal as it gets, but fans of the genre should enjoy it. So over the top!

The second stepped into the realm if comedy, but not so much it becomes a horror comedy. But it was good fun, even though it wasn't quite as cool as the first one.

The third one was very, very good and as good as the first one IMO. Lots of violence, blood and gore, and even more over the top and gory than the others. Some funny scenes, but far from as comedic as the second one. Thought this was awesome, and some of the kills are really nice and creative.


Love how Adam Green push his SF team, even on the third which he did not direct, to do even more creative special effects with every film. And his NO CGI rule is brilliant. I absolutely love that!


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2017)

Yeah those movies were fun. lol, I remember when people assumed Adam Green would be the next big horror director...yet he's done little of note since the trilogy ended. When you think about that, most horror directors fall off the radar these days. What's Alexander Aja doing? 

Eli Roth works, but he hasn't been relevant in awhile. James Wan is no longer really involved with the genre and Adam Wingard can't seem to maintain momentum.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 8, 2017)

Right now I am really interested in seeing where Jeremy Gillespie & Steven Kostanski (The Void), Can Evrenol (Baskin), Jeremy Saulnier (Green Room), Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani (Amer, The Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears), Peter Strickland (Berberian Sound Studio), Ryan Haysom (Yellow), Richard Raaphorst (Frankenstein's Army) and Julien Carbon & Laurent Courtiaud (Red Nights), Andrew Leman (The Call of Cthulhu), Sean Branney (The Whisperer in Darkness) are going next.

I know a couple of these have something rather new out and someone is working on something, but a few om them doesn't seem to be doing shit atm. Like Andrew Leman who has one film to his name, and that was all the way back in 2005.

Seen Baskin btw? One of the better horror films over the past 20 years, but it's a film "no-one" seems to know about. Looks and feels like a film made by Lucio Fulci on huge amounts of acid. Just superb!


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## MartialHorror (Oct 8, 2017)

Baskin is on my to-do list.

I didn't like "Berberian Sound Studio", even though I feel like I should have. "Frankenstein's Army" was wildly uneven to me. "The Void" was a pleasant surprise though and even though I think "Green Room" is overrated, it's still a good thriller. lol, most of the movies you listed are also on my netflix list.
André Øvredal is another director who could become big. "Troll Hunter" was really good and "The Autopsy of Jane Doe" was close to being a modern day classic.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 10, 2017)

I loved Berberian Sound Studio, but like I've said before I'm above medium interested in giallos. Doesn't matter if they are pure and classic giallo, homage/parody like *The Editor or neo-giallos like Yellow, Berberian Sound Studio, Amer and so on. You don't have to do much to impress me with these types of films.

By the way, do you have an opinion on the Astron-6 team? I thought Father's Day was disappointing, but Manborg is the cheese and The Editor is just sublime. Champions of Zorb from ABCs of Death 2 was really cool too. Gillespie and Kostanski who directed The Void is a part of this team, even though The Void is released beside as it's a totally different type of film.


Watched The Autopsy of Jane Doe last night and was totally taken by surprise. Really cool film! I was very much looking forward to this, but at the same time I just had to meet the film with a good amount of scepticism because it has a Norwegian director. And director André Øvredal's previous film Trolljegeren got so grand reviews in the Norwegian media that I did not bother seeing it. That sounds stupid, I know. But the Norwegian films that gets covered over here are usually the more mainstream and boring-as-fuck-ones, like Max Manus, Kon-Tiki and all that shit, while the really, really good ones don't get anything. Most norwegians haven't even heard about films like Oslo, 31. august, Reprise, Den brysomme mannen and Hawaii, Oslo, as they barely got a mention in the media.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 10, 2017)

I've only seen "The Void", although I feel like "Manborg" is the kind of title that demands to be seen.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 10, 2017)

Manborg is the film for you if you enjoy low-bidget, shlocky trash cinema from the late 70's and 80's. You enjoy Eliminators and Mutant Hunt, or newer films like Kung Fury and Turbo Kid? Then there's a chance you'll enjoy this lovely 70 minute long sci-fi flick made on no less than $1000 dollars.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 20, 2017)

Alrighty, I'll check it out.



Inglourious Basterds (2009)- The Tarantino flick about multiple parties attempting to assassinate Hitler during WW2.

Legion (2010)- God gives up on humanity and sends his angels to annihilate us, but one angel rebels and decides to protect a pregnant woman who might be carrying the second coming of Christ.

Laura (1944)- A film noir classic with an all-star cast, surrounding the titular Laura, an enigmatic woman whom everyone seems to be in love with...including the detective who's tasked with solving her brutal murder.

*INFORMAL REVIEW*

*Under the Skin (2013)* stars Scarlett Johansson as an alien who seduces men in order to feed on them...I think? It's definitely an arthouse kind of horror and if you like deliberately slow paced, artsy movies with mesmerizing imagery that often tells the story in place of dialogue, then you should probably check it out. Personally though, this isn't my kind of film as I find these experiences to be boring. The style might be imaginative and gorgeous, but in most of these cases, I will eventually start to find the visuals repetitive and then I'm just waiting for it to be over..."Under the Skin" is one of these kinds of films and I was ready for it to be over around the 40 minute mark, but it certainly is appealing for its target audience. 

2/4


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## Mickey Mouse (Oct 21, 2017)

I am a week late but how would rank all of the Friday the 13th films from best to worst?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2017)

Superman said:


> I am a week late but how would rank all of the Friday the 13th films from best to worst?



Um, 

In order based on memory: 1, 6, 7, 3, X, 4, 2, Freddy Vs Jason, 5, 9, 8, remake. 

Admittedly, some of these are hard to rank. I'm not sure if I'd say 8>remake, or 7>3. The nice thing about these movies is that I do enjoy them all on some level. None are great, but none really fail their intended goals either.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Benedict Cumberzatch (Oct 23, 2017)

Baskin is on this list.

new elemental techniques


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## MartialHorror (Nov 1, 2017)

*Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)*- Unstoppable killing machine Michael Myers survives the events of "Halloween 4" and continues his mission to murder his niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris). His nemesis, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) tries to stop him...again...In my opinion, this is the worst entry in the "Halloween" franchise, as it's the only one entirely devoid of suspense, style or inspiration. It's just really boring. This was clearly rushed into production and it's obvious that the only ambitions of the filmmakers were to get it done on time. 

1/4


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## Uncle Acid (Nov 2, 2017)

Zatch said:


> Baskin is on this list.
> 
> (13) Mika on Harassment Charges against "Friend" Mark Halperin We'll Talk More When Info Available - YouTube



That's a fairly nice list. Lots of overlooked gems there. I feel like films like Baskin, The Canal, Creep, A Dark Song, Deathgasm, The Devil's Candy, He Never Died, Housebound, Hush, The Invitation, Stake Land, Starry Eyes, Under the Shadow, The Void and We Are Still Here should've gotten a lot more attention than what they've gotten. Sure, a few of these, like Baskin, A Dark Song and Starry Eyes, are less accessible and a lot heavier than something more standard like Under the Shadow or Stake Land, but there should still be a fairly big audience for these films. It's not like these films have been poorly recieved, they just don't seem to have found a big(ger) audience at all for some reason.

Some of these I consider modern classics. Baskin, Housebound, The Void and We Are Still Here are as good as horror can get in 2010-2017 IMO, and among the very best horror films released since the start of the 90's and till now.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Nov 2, 2017)

Speaking of which...

*INFORMAL REVIEW
*
*The Devil's Candy (2015)* is...good. I'm not entirely sure how to classify it, as while it is structured like a possession or haunting story, it's more of a serial killer thriller. In terms of story, it doesn't cover any new ground, but the heavy metal aesthetics and sound design keeps it fresh. I wouldn't say it's great, but only because it never really scared me, nor do I think I'll remember it in the long run. Still, a good little horror flick that was worth the watch. 

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (Nov 3, 2017)

One thing I really liked about The Devil's Candy is how they portrayed our main guy, the metalhead, as a loving father who makes mistakes, but who is just a nice guy and warm guy at heart who tries his best. Like most fathers and parents, no matter what type of music or interests they have got. I felt like they managed to steer away from the typical stereotypes about how a metalhead/metal fan is.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 3, 2017)

Uncle Acid said:


> One thing I really liked about The Devil's Candy is how they portrayed our main guy, the metalhead, as a loving father who makes mistakes, but who is just a nice guy and warm guy at heart who tries his best. Like most fathers and parents, no matter what type of music or interests they have got. I felt like they managed to steer away from the typical stereotypes about how a metalhead/metal fan is.



Yeah I liked that too.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2017)

*INFORMAL REVIEW!*
*
Replicant (2001) *is a flawed, but interesting Jean-Claude Van Damme project, where he plays a serial killer known as 'The Torch', his targets being mothers. Detective Jake Riley (Michael Rooker) obsessively hunts for him, but the killer is too evasive and he decides to retire until he recieves an offer he cannot refuse. The Government has developed the ability to clone people and the 'genetic memory' can allow the clone to track down the cloned, which they want to use to pursue terrorists. They clone the Torch as a test run and give custody to Riley, to assist him in the investigation. But will this 'replicant' go down the same path as the original? It's a hybrid of different genres, primarily martial arts actioner, serial killer thriller, science fiction drama and even coming-of-age story and the end result will either appeal or repulse you. You might think it was not enough of one or the other, probably because of the other genres "Replicant" is experimenting with. It plays with some intriguing themes and ideas, but it doesn't thoroughly explore them. The choreography is solid and the stuntwork is great, but there isn't THAT much action. Yet despite some hokey moments, I liked "Replicant" and enjoyed the relationship between Riley and the titular replicant. The acting was good and it's nice seeing JCVD try something completely different, even if he is the only actor who has actually fought himself twice. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2017)

*Zombie Holocaust (1980)*- Scientists travel to an island filled with cannibals in order to investigate a case of stolen body parts...and zombies eventually show up too...Yeah, this Italian splatter flick just really wanted to cash in on the Zombie and Amazon Cannibal boom that were popular at the time thanks to the successes of "Zombie" and "Cannibal Holocaust", not even trying to come up with a plausible story. It's pretty bad, but the gore effects were enough to make it tolerable. This writing is technically a re-review. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 10, 2017)

*The Sacrament (2011)* was a pretty good found footage thriller, directed by Ti West ("The Innkeepers"). It draws a lot of influence from the Jonestown Massacre and that's sort of a problem, because you know exactly where the story is going to go. Nevertheless, it kept me consistently entertained and I felt the bite of the tension. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2017)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- ""

"Children of the Corn (1984)" was amongst the early wave of Stephen King cinematic adaptations, but it didn't garner the acclaim that its contemporaries did...This didn't stop "Children of the Corn" from becoming a 9-movie franchise, with a 10th set to be released in 2018. Why did this one get all of the sequels and not one of Stephen King's better properties? I don't know, outside of the obvious 'they're cheap to produce and have enough of a following to guarantee a profit' reason. The sequels became notorious for sucking, especially once they embraced the 'direct-to-video' market. Apparently the studios involved didn't care that the low quality was having a negative impact on how people perceived Stephen King movies at the time, but are these films as bad as everyone says? Was there at least potential to be a good franchise and most importantly, why did they never take the titular children of the corn to space, like all of the other respectable franchises from this time period? "Children of the Space Corn" deserves to exist, dammit!

We address all of this and more in my review series, which includes critiques of
- "Children of the Corn (1984)"
- "Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992)"
- "Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)"
- "Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996)"
- "Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998)"
- "Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)"
- "Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001)"
- "Stephen King's Children of the Corn (2009)": This is technically a remake
- "Children of the Corn: Genesis (2011)".
- _(NEW)_ "Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)"


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## MartialHorror (Dec 22, 2017)

- Two girls visit a beach resort, where one finds love and the other finds footage of a doomed group of vacationers...and then a shark shows up for the final 2 minutes of the movie...This is a Japanese production, hence the title, but it was released as "Psycho Shark" in the west for obvious reasons. It's an incompetently made, piece of garbage where nothing happens...and nothing happens as slowly as humanly imaginable...This is one of the worst movies I have ever endured. 

0/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2018)

*Creature (1985)*- When I was a kid, I was close friends with a boy named Jeff and we shared a passion for horror, even though we were so young that we weren't allowed to watch anything beyond a PG-13 rating...and sometimes, I wasn't even allowed to watch that, as my family aborted a "Mortal Kombat" movie night because they deemed it too violent...Yet I remember Jeff bringing over a VHS tape of "Creature" for a sleepover and much to my surprise, my Dad allowed it. I don't remember if this was my first Rated-R movie, or if it was my first Rated-R movie without adult supervision, but "Creature" was definitely a new experience...even though it's a complete rip-off of "Alien". Actually, I think I had seen "Aliens" at that point, so it must've been my first Rated-R movie without supervision. I loved it back then, but now...it's OK. It has just enough production value to look presentable and the director does milk some atmosphere and suspense out of his sets. The gore effects are pretty good and there are some interesting ideas, even though said ideas were probably lifted from "The Thing". The acting is pretty mediocre and the characters are pretty bland, but I do like how some defied the expectations of their archetypes. I think it's entertaining for what it is, but every time I watch it, I see it through the lens of nostalgia...so maybe I'm a little biased.

3/4

*Shark Exorcist (2015)* might sound funny when you remember that it's about a demonic shark that possesses people, but it's actually dogshit. It's a badly made movie that tries to get around the inept filmmaking by winking at the camera, but it's more annoying than charming. Every scene goes on for too long. It's the type of movie where characters are standing waist high in water and will suddenly be grabbed by the shark. Then they will show the shark and it's completely surrounded by water, as if it's in the middle of the Ocean...and it's the same footage of the shark in every scene, except when it attacks...from...space? I got so bored that I started cleaning my room, so the entire 2nd half was really confusing and I don't know if it made sense why the shark was attacking from space...I guess it's not "Jaws in Japan" bad, but no shark movie is "Jaws in Japan" bad.

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 6, 2018)

- This is a classier way of saying 'best of', because "Carnosaur" has recently dethroned "Citizen Kane" as the most lauded movie of all time in my mind. Actually, because I don't formally review as much, this list is much more subjective than usual, so beware of my questionable tastes.

- For what it's worth, being drenched in the urine of MartialHorror is a greater honor than "Rings" deserves, but this is my list of the worst movies I saw in 2017. 

INFORMAL REVIEW

*YellowBrickRoad (2010)* is kind of like "The Blair Witch Project", except it's not a found footage feature and it's more frustrating than its worth. The buildup is OK, but then a bizarre creative choice involving the use of music causes a sudden detour into 'so bad, it's good' territory. It doesn't consistently journey on that path, however, as it alternates between artsy and a little creepy. The problem is every time you start getting into the atmosphere, something incredibly hokey will kill the mood, but then it will become very depressing, so you can't have a good time laughing at it. It never builds up any momentum and I was left bored...but I can this movie developing a cult following, as it's suitably strange and you can tell the filmmakers are trying. I just didn't like it. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2018)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- ""

"Insidious" is what I'd call a 'manufactured franchise', which is when you have a solid self-contained story that doesn't need any sequels, much less a franchise. They just don't have a lot of room for exploration, or even if they seem like they do, the exploring could end up deteriorating what made the saga intriguing to begin with. I've always suspected that Leigh Whannell and James Wan kept the "Insidious" namesake alive to try and recoup the grosses they could've made if they didn't sell the rights to "Saw". Yet while the sequels have all been unnecessary and have gradually gotten worse, these movies are inexplicably successful and surprisingly watchable. So how has the "Insidious" series thrived, despite having so many creative obstacles to overcome? How did it survive the rise of "The Conjuring", which has become "Insidious"'s bigger, even more successful brother? 

We address this and more in my review series, which includes critiques of
- "Insidious (2010)"
- "Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)"
- "Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)"
- "Insidious: The Last Key (2018)"


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## MartialHorror (Jan 20, 2018)

*Flatliners (2017)* is the remake of the 1990 cult classic of the same name and it's primarily known for the critical butt pounding it received upon release, followed by the humiliation of being a box office bomb. The good news is that the movie isn't bad as everyone said it was. The bad news is that the movie isn't good...The pacing is awkward because the first hour is dedicated to each of its protagonists undergoing the 'flatlining' experiment, which isn't very interesting because the characters are unconvincing, unlikable and the narrative repeats itself with each one. They flatline, get a glimpse of the afterlife, it looks like they're going to die, they're miraculously saved by their colleagues, they're now mentally 'enhanced' and they use it to better their lives...Rinse, wash, repeat...FOR THE FIRST HOUR! The rest plays out like a conventional horror flick and it doesn't always make sense. The climax was incredibly weak. Yet the cast is trying and the cinematography is decent in parts. "Flatliners" isn't as bad as its reputation suggests, but it's still pretty bad. 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 22, 2018)

COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER special- "".

I normally don't review TV Shows, but after streaming the entirety of "Masters of Horror", I felt compelled to talk about it in the style of my 'CFD' review series. Each episode is an hour long standalone story, directed by some of the the most prestigious or infamous directors of the horror genre. I discuss each episode of Season 1 and the Season holds up as a whole. The line-up includes-

1) Don Coscarelli ("Phantasm")
2) Stuart Gordon ("Re-animator)
3) Tobe Hooper ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre") 
4) Dario Argento ("Suspiria")
5) Mick Garris ("The Stand")
6) Joe Dante ("Gremlins")
7) John Landis ("An American Werewolf in London)
8) John Carpenter ("Halloween")
9) William Malone ("The House on Haunting Hill" remake)
10) Lucky McKee ("The Woman")
11) Larry Cohen ("It Lives!")
12) John McNaughton ("Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer)
13) Takashi Miike ("Audition")

Season 2 will be my next subject, but I have no immediate plans on covering the spiritual sequel ("Fear Itself") or the spin-off ("Masters of Science Fiction") at this time.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 23, 2018)

*Sisters of Death (1977)* is an Agatha Christie-styled murder mystery that can be summed up as "And Then There Were None, with Sorority sisters"...and it's nowhere near as exciting as it should be. I love these kinds of murder mysteries, so "Sisters of Death" was watchable for me. But it's silly, slow and I predicted both of the twists around the half way point. The setting was shockingly bland, even though it takes place in an isolated manor, which should be an attention grabbing locale. There isn't much atmosphere and the acting isn't noteworthy either, but...it's...tolerable? I can't think of much in the films favor, outside of some nudity, but I didn't dislike it enough to regret the viewing experience. Once again, I have to assume I had an easy time with this because of my partiality towards murder mysteries. It was apparently made in 1972, but not released until 1977...Ouch!

2/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 6, 2018)

You seen Victor Crowley yet? I thought it was another excellent addition to the Hatchet franchise. A nice mix of slasher, splatter and comedy and as usual with brilliant special effects. Practical and old school. Superb!


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## MartialHorror (Feb 6, 2018)

Not yet. I actually still need to see "Hatchet 3"...


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## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2018)

COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER special-  (2006-2007)

"Masters of Horror" was a horror anthology show where each episode was a standalone story, directed by a different 'Master of Horror'. The 2nd lineup of prolific directors includes-

1) Tobe Hooper ("Poltergeist")
2) John Landis ("The Blues Brothers")
3) Ernest R. Dickerson ("Bones")
4) Brad Anderson ("Session 9")
5) John Carpenter ("The Thing")
6) Dario Argento ("Deep Red")
7) Joe Dante ("The Howling")
8) Mick Garris ("The Shining"- The 1997 mini-series)
9) Rob Schmidt ("Wrong Turn")
10) Tom Holland ("Child's Play")
11) Stuart Gordon ("Dolls")
12) Peter Medak ("The Changeling")
13) Norio Tsuruta ("Premonition"). 

There are some returning directors and some new ones, but is Season 2 on par with the first one?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 15, 2018)

So I recently watched "*Ice Sharks (2016)*" and "*Swamp Shark (2011)*", because who doesn't like a good, crappy shark movie to sink their teeth into? They're bad, but they aren't as terrible as some of the others (like "Shark Exorcist"). "Swamp Shark" is the more polished of the two, having nice scenery, a cool shark design and merely...bad acting...in contrast to the atrocious performances of the casts in the lesser shark movies. "Ice Sharks" immediately gets to the action and is so fast paced that it burns itself out around the half way point, but at least the setting was a little different...At least it is if you haven't seen "Avalanche Sharks" or "Snow Sharks", because apparently 'Sharks in an Arctic Setting' is a genre? Yet neither movie that quite the terribad appeal that will make you remember them. Watching it with friends, probably while drunk, is the best way to go, but there are better examples of both good shark movies and good bad shark movies...if that makes any sense. I'd rate them both- 

1.5/4 
*
The ABC's of Death (2012)* is a horror anthology with as many shorts as there are letters in the alphabet, each one being based on a specific letter. There are a large variety of filmmakers all around the world, so expect subtitles with some of the shorts. This was an interesting experiment, even if it fails just as much as it succeeds. Some shorts are terrible ("E for Extermination"), some are pointless ("M for Miscarriage"), some are excellent ("D for Dogfight"), some are memorable ("T for Toilet"), some are artsy ("O for Orgasm"), some are schlock ("S is for Speed"), some are infuriating ("P is for Pressure"), some are weird ("H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion"), some are animated ("K is for Klutz") and some are annoyingly stupid ("F is for Fart"). But even most of the bad ones have a point of interest to them. The problem is that "The ABC's of Death" is too long and too many of the shorts accidentally stumble upon each-others territory, recycling the ideas of other shorts. How many times does a toilet have to drive the story? Answer: Three. It's either an unusual success or an interesting failure and I'm leaning towards the latter, but I respect the project for its efforts. 

2/4


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## Benedict Cumberzatch (Feb 15, 2018)

I do read your reviews, even if I don't always comment.


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 16, 2018)

Seen The Ritual? Best film of 2017 IMO. Gorgeous folk-horror clearly inspired by classic 60's and 70's British folk-horror like The Wicker Man, The Blood on Satan's Claw, The Devil Rides Out, Cry of the Banshee and so on, as well as newer films like The Blair Witch Project, Ben Wheatley's Kill List and A Field in England, Robert Eggers' The VVitch: A New-England Folktale, Wakr Wood and more. While different than most of these, it carry much of the same feeling as them. Fantastic film!


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## MartialHorror (Feb 16, 2018)

I saw two more movies I thought I'd briefly talk about.

*Manhunter (1986) *is an adaptation of "Red Dragon" and yes, that means it is the first Hannibal Lecter movie ever made and Anthony Hopkins was not the original actor who portrayed the iconic cannibal...even though cannibalism is never referenced here. That honor goes to Brian Cox, whose interpretation is a lot more cold blooded. I was really impressed with this and it's easily superior to the 2nd "Red Dragon" movie, the one with Hopkins. This had a lot more suspense, atmosphere, style and the eccentric touches of the 1980's. The cast is really good and is utilized very effectively. Lecter isn't in the movie that much, but his scenes stand out. Tom Noonan is creepy as the antagonist. William Petersen is compelling as Graham and somehow the show wasn't stolen from him, probably because he always looks like he's on the verge of going insane himself and the more attention grabbing villains don't have that much screen-time. Dennis Farina and Stephen Lang round out the cast. It was great. I can't compare it to "Silence of the Lambs", as it has been too long since I've seen that one, but it's definitely better than "Hannibal", "Red Dragon" and "Hannibal Rising". 

3.5/4

*Yakuza Apocalypse (2015)* is a Takashi Miike movie about a...Yakuza Vampire...who turns other people into Yakuza Vampires...I'll discuss this more in the Martial Arts thread as it isn't really a horror movie, but it's consistently bizarre. Not his best movie, but it is a definitive Takashi Miike movie. 

2.5/4



Uncle Acid said:


> Seen The Ritual? Best film of 2017 IMO. Gorgeous folk-horror clearly inspired by classic 60's and 70's British folk-horror like The Wicker Man, The Blood on Satan's Claw, The Devil Rides Out, Cry of the Banshee and so on, as well as newer films like The Blair Witch Project, Ben Wheatley's Kill List and A Field in England, Robert Eggers' The VVitch: A New-England Folktale, Wakr Wood and more. While different than most of these, it carry much of the same feeling as them. Fantastic film!



Not yet, but I will probably in a  month. I go through one streaming service at a time and I'm wrapping up with Hulu, before moving onto netflix again. So I'm going to finally be able to see The Ritual, The Cloverfield Paradox, Godzilla: Monster Planet and other netflix movies I really want to see. 



His Royal Majesty ZatchRaven of Östersjöarna said:


> I do read your reviews, even if I don't always comment.



Thanks! That makes me feel so naked!


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## MartialHorror (Feb 23, 2018)

were animated movies that served as promotional material for the "Dead Space" and "Dead Space 2" video games. They exist to set up the stories for each of the games, with "Downfall" chronicling the...er, downfall...of the USG Ishimura, a deep space vessel tasked with bringing an alien artifact back to Earth. The problem is that the artifact (called 'the marker') drives anyone it comes into contact with insane AND prior to its removal, was functioning as a prison for these zombie, alien, monster things. "Aftermath" focuses on the survivors of a 2nd Marker-related massacre, which took place aboard the USG O’Bannon- who had been tasked with finding out WTF happened the first time around. They relate their tales, with each flashback being animated by a different studio. Neither movie is 'good' in the traditional sense of the word, as the voice acting is mediocre, the dialogue is bad, the character writing is worse and the storyline can be difficult to follow if you aren't familiar with the games. But "Deadfall" is still entertaining and "Aftermath" is...not very entertaining...so read my reviews to find out why! 

2.5/4


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## Benedict Cumberzatch (Feb 23, 2018)

Have you heard of the horror anthology Channel Zero? I'm watching the first one, Candle Cove, now. I heard the second one is the best.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 26, 2018)

No, never even heard of them. Are they any good?


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## Benedict Cumberzatch (Feb 26, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> No, never even heard of them. Are they any good?



The majority of people think they're great. I finished Candle Cove, the first one, over the weekend. I'm ambivalent about it. I liked it less and less as the episodes went on, but at the same time, I was compelled to finish it. I appreciated the bleak, depressing dread that pervaded the show. It had very strong, dreamlike imagery/cinematography throughout the six episodes, a somewhat good mystery, good music, decent acting - just thought it didn't amount to much. Had the show been condensed into a two-hour movie, it would have been a strong entry into the horror pantheon. Since the show is based off of a short creepy pasta, it stretched itself to fit the six episodes. But then again, I'm in the minority opinion. A lot of people got IT vibes and enjoyed the season.

Watched the first episode of No-End House, the second season, and I like it much better than the first. I think I know what the twist will be, but that first episode is very good and unsettling. I'm a sucker for haunted houses, though.


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## Benedict Cumberzatch (Mar 1, 2018)

No-End House was great. Thought it was superior to the first by a wide margin. Highly recommend you check it out.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2018)

So I watched two horror movies recently...
*
Happy Death Day (2017)* has the same concept as "Groundhog Day", except it has a horror twist. The heroine is a shitty, college, sorority girl who is murdered by a masked killer...only to have the day reset each time she dies, forcing her to find out who wants her dead. The movie thinks it's a lot more clever than it really is and as a testament to its wit, there is even a character who outright says "This is just like Groundhog Day", but that's not what bothered me. I was primarily annoyed by the irritating characterizations, the chaotic tone, the plot holes and ESPECIALLY the PG-13 rating. "Cry Wolf" was a PG-13 "slasher", but it had a plot that could justify the rating, whereas I spent every kill wishing I could actually see her die. Nevertheless, I do have to give the movie some credit because you can feel like the writer is having a lot of fun. "Happy Death Day" has enough of a personality- as aggravating as it could be- and energy to keep it from sucking. I can see this developing a following. 

2/4
*
Mandrake (2010)* will always be the movie that I'll remember for choosing to watch on my Birthday...A shitty syfy original production...A group of anthropologists go treasure hunting in the Jungle, but find themselves being hunted by a giant plant monster and angry natives. It's not the worst of its kind and while there are a few atrocious special effects shots, I actually was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the special effects...in that they weren't atrocious all the time. The acting isn't very good and strangely, the only somewhat complex characters are the ones you'd usually chalk up as 'disposable asshole' or 'expendable weasel', but at least the narrative moves quickly. Betsy Russell, who's primarily known for playing Jigsaw's wife in the "Saw" saga, is the lead actress here and wow...her career fell while it was still technically soaring. Both this and "Saw 3D" came out the same year, so she both appeared in the biggest horror franchise of that generation and a syfy original within the same year! 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 26, 2018)

Some new horror flicks I saw.

*The Tunnel (2011)* is a faux mockumentary about journalists investing a network of abandoned Subway tunnels...only to get lost and stalked by...something that lurks down there. This was actually a pleasant surprise, as the movie makes a great use of its setting, which is downright creepy. I'm claustrophobic and this plays into that fear, while also boasting good tension and some effective scares. The only problem I have is the 'mockumentary' angle, as you can figure out who lives and who dies based on who is giving the interview. Furthermore, was it just me, or were these journalists working with some cheap equipment? But it's still a pretty solid 'found footage' flick. 

3/4

*Deathgasm (2015)* is a silly, fun, metal-head inspired horror flick about a duo of heavy metal enthusiasts who accidentally stirs up the dark arts, turning their entire town into rabid, demonic monstrosities. While I found the story to be predictable, complete with character arcs that you've seen many times before, the gore effects are suitably nasty and the 2nd half is pure action-horror. There are some funny parts too. 

3/4

*The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)* is the 3rd entry in the loosely connected "Cloverfield" franchise, but is infamous for its troubled production, which led to a straight-to-netflix release. I like the concept, where an experiment causes astronauts to lose sight of the Earth and the first half kept me engaged with how consistently weird it is. When that horrific noise starts coming from the walls, I made a few guesses as to what they would fine...and I was wrong. I was not expecting that at all and I was kept on my toes like that for awhile. But once they pretty much solve the mystery around the half way point, it becomes a pretty conventional space thriller, where they have to do some risky repairs or deal with a potential saboteur. The narrative does feel like it was shoddily stitched together, as they apparently didn't convert this into a sequel until late in production and it shows. The acting is OK and the direction is OK, but I still felt this movie needed more invested performances and sharper direction. It could've been more suspenseful and the cinematography could've been better, but the movie still had me for awhile and even when it fell into the normal routine, it never completely lost me.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 30, 2018)

*Gerald's Game (2017)* is based on a Stephen King story, where a couples attempts to experiment with bondage goes horrible wrong. I didn't think the novel could ever be properly adapted into film, but I was wrong! It's mostly faithful to the source material, but I thought all of the changes worked for the better, even to the point where I found myself preferring the movie. You would think that this would be slow paced, as the bulk of the screen-time is literally tied to the bed, but the exceptional cast, their great repertoire and memorable lines kept me invested. Director Mike Flanagan, arguably the best of the rising horror directors, somehow manages to insert some eye popping and chilling imagery in a story that once again...seemed like it would provide limited opportunities for style. My only real problem with the movie was the epilogue, which is too long winded, reminding me a lot of the conclusion from "Psycho" with how talky it is.

3/4
*
The Dead (2010)* a zombie movie that takes place in Africa, being more reminiscent of the Italian genre flicks from the 1970's-1980's than the traditional Hollywood zombie story. It's nowhere near as wild or as gruesome as the films that inspired this were, but I do appreciate the emphasis on mood and suspense. Zombies have become an oversaturated menace, so most of their modern day features don't try to make them scary, focusing more on the world surrounding them or the gore. This certainly has some of this...sometimes even getting distracted by some of the tangents...but "The Dead" is at its most effective when you don't see the zombies at all, but can feel their presence. Or when you happen to see one suddenly appear in the background without the camera giving it any attention...and then suddenly you realize the characters are surrounded. The plot can be summed up as "Blood Diamond", except with zombies, as an American mercenary and African Soldier team up to find the latters son, encountering many obstacles along the way. The movie is slow paced and I was frustrated how one storythread is opened up, but then never given any kind of pay-off. The soldier warns the mercenary about the road blocks, as people are executing many out of fear of infection and we even see an example of this, but our beleaguered duo never encounters this themselves. At best, "The Dead" is a good zombie flick and at worst, it's an interesting failure of a zombie flick, but I liked it. I miss these kinds of genre flicks. Definitely not for everyone though.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 22, 2018)

is the latest...and sadly (?) the final entry of the "Children of the Corn" saga, surrounding a woman and her son, who are on the run from 'He Who Walks Behind the Rows' and his cult. I've added my critique of this to my '' review series, so I hope you enjoy it!


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## MartialHorror (May 1, 2018)

- Humanity is forced to flee Earth when Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, emerges from the depths. They live as Space Refugees for 20,000 years until their oxygen runs too low to maintain their lifestyle, forcing them to return to Earth...where the monsters await them. This is that 'Godzilla anime' and while I have to give the filmmakers credit for coming up with a wonderfully absurd concept, the movie itself is pretty subpar. The characters are bland, the animation style was visually unappealing to me and the majority of the runningtime is comprised of the characters explaining how this world works. Hopefully this only feels clunky because it's setting up the much better sequels? Maybe? This is the first part of what will be a trilogy.

2/4

I also have some small, informal reviews for you.

*Blood Glacier (2013)* is an Austrian horror film inspired by John Carpenter's "The Thing", taking place in the Icy Austrian Alps and containing some surprisingly good, old school practical effects. It has decent tension and atmosphere, but the characters are so frustrating that they keep it from reaching its full potential. This is currently streaming on netflix.

2.5/4 

*Man Vs (2015)* is a low budgeted thriller about a reality TV survivalist being stranded in a remote area of the woods, where he's stalked by someone...or something...This was flawed, but somewhat enjoyable. I feel like it made the mistake of giving us too big of a clue as to what the 'threat' is early on, as something big obviously crashed through those trees and landed in the water, where it proceeded to kill all of the fish...and then the movie starts getting subtle with us, with brief movements in the bushes, etc...The order is just wrong, as it should've started with the smaller stuff and then reveal the big visual with 'the crash'. I still enjoyed myself though as it's paced pretty well and the lead actor is good. I was invested in this cat-and-mouse scenario up until the end, when the movie is forced to rely on some shitty effects. This is also currently streaming on netflix.

2/4

*The Company of Wolves (1984)* is...odd...A young girl falls asleep and dreams about being a variation of 'Little Red Riding Hood', whose village is terrorized by 'wolves'...and in this dream, characters tell stories about werewolf folklore, so much of the running-time seems comprised of...flashbacks within dream sequences? It's weird! The film is part arthouse, part schlock, part cheese, all strange, but sometimes it is mesmerizing to behold. The cinematography and set design strike the perfect 'grim fairy tail' aesthetic. The transformation scene is surreal because it's one of the most grotesque examples of its kind as you see as the werewolfs skin comes off, revealing his fleshy skeletal frame and it looks shockingly good...but then when he turns into the wolf, it looks shockingly....rubbery. But you'll never be able to take your eyes off of it. The acting is campy, but that seems to be what they were going for. "The Company of Wolves" is not for everyone, but I never really knew what to expect from it. It's one of a kind.

3/4


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## Uncle Acid (May 2, 2018)

The Company of Wolves is such an overlooked film. Strange and weird, but so damn good. And calling it a "grim fairy tail" is spot on.

Do you have any other like this, Tale of Tales and Snow White: A Tale of Terror? Grim, grotesque and at times surreal fairy tales aimed towards grown ups. Every single time I watch any of these films I'm craving for more, but I can't seem to find many films with a classic fairy tale feeling that is aimed at grown ups.


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## MartialHorror (May 2, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> The Company of Wolves is such an overlooked film. Strange and weird, but so damn good. And calling it a "grim fairy tail" is spot on.
> 
> Do you have any other like this, Tale of Tales and Snow White: A Tale of Terror? Grim, grotesque and at times surreal fairy tales aimed towards grown ups. Every single time I watch any of these films I'm craving for more, but I can't seem to find many films with a classic fairy tale feeling that is aimed at grown ups.



I'll check them out.


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## MartialHorror (May 23, 2018)

INFORMAL REVIEWS!

*Halloweed (2018)* is a stoner comedy with a horror twist and I lasted about 10 minutes before I decided that I didn't want to watch it anymore...and yet for some absurd reason I forced myself too...I'm not even angry at the movie, despite it being slow paced and unfunny. I'm angry at myself for willingly enduring it...

1/4
*
Winchester (2017)* has an interesting setting...that somehow loses all of its visual power within the first 20 minutes...The cast is good, as Helen Mirren and Jason Clarke are good even when they're sleepwalking through their boring roles...But the overall movie was just dull. There isn't a lot I would describe as terrible, despite some limp jump scares, but the movie never seems to wake up from its slumber. 

1.5/4 

*Digging Up the Marrow (2014)* was a nice surprise though. It's a mockumentary directed by Adam Green ("Hatchet") and while it is very flawed, it was pretty effective. All of the references and merchandising of the directors other works grew irritating and I didn't always buy what the characters were doing, but the actors carry the material and there are some great moments. I found the ending to be incredibly creepy, even if the final 'jump' was unnecessary. 

3/4


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## ATastyMuffin (May 24, 2018)

SO pumped for Hereditary. Wonder if this might be the first horror nomination/win for Best Picture since Silence of the Lambs.


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## MartialHorror (May 24, 2018)

lol, I'm keeping my expectations mild. I'll be happy if it's good...so if it turns out to be amazing, I can be elated while if it merely turns out to be solid, I won't be disappointed. Expectations are always my enemy. "A Quiet Place", to me, was a good movie that ended up being overrated simply because everyone was telling me how great it was.


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## MartialHorror (May 31, 2018)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER*- ""

"Tremors (1990)" is a horror-comedy, where Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward must lead a small town to safety when it is attacked by giant underground worms...Despite earning positive reviews, the movie under-performed at the box office, yet would grow into a cult classic on home video. The audience was ripe enough for sequels, but it seemed like each time, something would be lost. Bacon would leave, then Ward would leave, budgets would be slashed, creative freedom would be lost and then the most dire problem of all occurred...Jamie Kennedy joined the cast!

Yet the franchise has never lost its fanbase, with even the worst of its sequels having its defenders. We discuss why this is, why the quality seemingly fluctuates amongst the sequels, why the first film grew into a classic and we talk about my own history with the franchise in my review series, which includes-

-"Tremors (1990)"
-"Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996)"
-"Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)"
-"Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)"
-"Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015)"
-"Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell (2018)".

I also briefly go into the doomed TV Show (Season 3) and Kevin Bacon's proposed mini-series. Read the review series  or just click the titl.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 13, 2018)

*Creep (2014)* is a found footage flick about a videographer (Patrick Brice), who is hired to chronicle the last healthy days of a dying man named Josef (Mark Duplass), but it turns out that Josef might be lying...and might be kind of f@cking weird...This is a flawed little horror flick, as the protagonist is sometimes required to be incredible stupid for this plot to work, but Mark Duplass's unsettling performance kept it consistently creepy. *
*
3/4
*
Creep 2 (2017) *has another videographer (Karan Soni) attempting to make a documentary about the titular creep, but while it has a more interesting protagonist and expands upon the characterization of the 'creep', you know where it's going by this point. It's less of a horror and more of a drama, which is fine, but it more-or-less ends the exact way you expect it to end. I think it works better as a companion piece than a standalone gene flick. 

2.5/4


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## James Bond (Jun 14, 2018)

Just curious but why do you do your ratings out of 4, like how big of a difference in quality is a 2 rating compared to a 3 rating for you?


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## Karma (Jun 14, 2018)

James Bond said:


> Just curious but why do you do your ratings out of 4, like how big of a difference in quality is a 2 rating compared to a 3 rating for you?


I think a 2 would = 50 and a 3 would be a 75 with the way his rating system is presented.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2018)

James Bond said:


> Just curious but why do you do your ratings out of 4, like how big of a difference in quality is a 2 rating compared to a 3 rating for you?



Before I started writing reviews, my Dad and I would play around with star ratings when we did movies. At the time, we had a 5-star system. But when I started writing reviews, I realized that I almost never went beyond a 4, so decided to top it out at there. 

In short

4- Great

3- Good

2- Mediocre. 

1- Bad. 

0- Unwatchable. 

When I do 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' reviews, I do a 10-rating system, because it's a little easier to compare and contrast, while adding a little more diversity.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Jun 15, 2018)

*Temple (2017)* is a horror film set in Japan, even though it's an American production, written by Simon Barrett (Writer of "You're Next", "Blair Witch") and directed by his cinematographer brother Michael...and it sucks...Three Americans travel to a remote temple in Japan, but a combination of it being haunted and them being stupid puts their lives in danger. None of the characters are particularly likable or intelligent, while the majority of the running-time is build-up that focuses on how unlikable and unintelligent they are. It's very boring, but when the "scary" stuff happens, it's...somehow equally boring. The ending is also very unsatisfying, with the final shot only drawing attention to how bad the actress was. Pretty worthless...

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 28, 2018)

*The Town that Dreaded Sundown (1976)* is based on the 'Phantom Killer', focusing on a series of serial killings that took place in the 1940's. I guess I can understand its cult status, as it has a great title and a creepy looking killer, but it's so tonally confused and hokey. I couldn't take it seriously and at times, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to. 

2/4
*
Tank 432 (2015)*- A team of mercenaries are forced to take refuge in a Tank, which they subsequently become trapped in...and this armored vehicle happens to haunted...The concept sounds cool, until you remember that tanks are really small and confined, meaning most of the running-time is going to be dedicated to mean spirited characters yelling at each-other...Pretty boring....

1.5/4

*The Vault (2017)*- A group of bank robbers target a bank, where most of the money is kept in a specific vault...that is haunted...I like the idea of merging a heist flick with a ghost story, but it never rises above mediocrity. It's never scary, interesting...or anything below average? The ending is almost laughable in its desire to recreate a twist from another movie, yet at least it gets going pretty quickly and never slows down... Francesca Eastwood, James Franco, Clifton Collins Jr and Taryn Manning round out the cast, but they aren't given a lot to do.

2/4


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## Uncle Acid (Jun 28, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> *The Town that Dreaded Sundown (1976)* is based on the 'Phantom Killer', focusing on a series of serial killings that took place in the 1940's. I guess I can understand its cult status, as it has a great title and a creepy looking killer, but it's so tonally confused and hokey. I couldn't take it seriously and at times, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to.
> 
> 2/4



Personally I just can't get enough of this film. Seen it many times, and it just gets better with each time I see it. It's a bit all over the place, but I find that incredibly charming in this.

Have you seen the remake/sequel/meta-sequel or whatever the fuck call it from 2014? I thought it was excellent and one of the best slasher movies in recent years when it was released a dew years back. The over all tone is much more serious and focused, and I'll go as far as to admit that I prefer it to the original.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 29, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> Personally I just can't get enough of this film. Seen it many times, and it just gets better with each time I see it. It's a bit all over the place, but I find that incredibly charming in this.
> 
> Have you seen the remake/sequel/meta-sequel or whatever the fuck call it from 2014? I thought it was excellent and one of the best slasher movies in recent years when it was released a dew years back. The over all tone is much more serious and focused, and I'll go as far as to admit that I prefer it to the original.



No, but it is somewhere in my netflix queue.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 11, 2018)

MINI-REVIEWS

- *Quatermass and the Pit (1967)*: An old 'Hammer Horror' flick, although I would describe it as more science fiction than horror. This is a cleaned up re-post of an old review.

- *Beyond Skyline (2017)*: Somehow "Skyline" got a sequel...and it eventually goes from being a sci-fi/thriller to being a sci-fi/martial arts flick, as the cast from "The Raid" show up and kick some alien ass...I am being dead serious right now...

-* Knowing (2009)*: A thriller starring Nicolas Cage, where he discovers that a time capsule correctly predicts every major accident...and the biggest has yet to come...Another re-post.

Read those HERE!

_INFORMAL REVIEWS_
*
Baskin (2015)* is a Turkish horror flick that draws its influences from the likes of "Hellraiser", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "The Descent" and..."Only God Forgives"? I actually thought the movie was exceptional during the first hour, as it's really strange, but in a creepy and hypnotic kind of way. The tension and mood were working their magic, but the 3rd act became kind of more-or-less...and I hate this phrase....torture porn. It grew redundant after awhile. Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad finale, it's just not as good as what proceeded it. I do think horror fans should check it out, especially if you're into the works of Clive Barker.

3/4   

*The Secret of Evil (2014)* is a Spanish found footage flick, also known as "Secreto Matusita". It's about...three amateur filmmakers investigating a local legend, this one being a haunted house and...yeah, "The Secret of Evil" isn't even trying to hide the fact that it's ripping off "The Blair Witch Project". It also shamelessly borrows from "Paranormal Activity", but the movie wasn't bad for what it is. There are a few effective moments and it's too short to be boring. I was (somewhat) enjoying myself until the 3rd act rolled around...At that point, it became apparent that they weren't really sure how to end it, so we have to endure some hokey false endings before it finally just stops. 

2/4


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## Uncle Acid (Jul 13, 2018)

Baskin was fantastic! Masterpiece.

You seen Dead Shack, Tragedy Girls and Terrifier? I recently saw all three, and really liked all of them with Dead Shack being the favourite. Dear god, it's the perfect mix of horror and comedy.

And Terrifier > It
Art the Clown > Pennywise

There, I sad it.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2018)

I saw "Tragedy Girls", which surprisingly entertaining despite some of the issues I had with it. I'll add the others to the list.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 20, 2018)

- The survivors of Godzilla's rampage during "Planet of the Monsters" discover that there is more sentient life on Earth than they thought, including Mechagodzilla, who has evolved into a...city? Huh? The concept makes no sense, but once again, I appreciate how imaginative the filmmakers can be. This is the 2nd entry in the Godzilla anime trilogy and it's about as good/bad as it's predecessor, albeit for different reasons. "City on the Edge of Battle" is an improvement when it comes to storytelling and character development, as the narrative is less cluttered and the characters showcase more personality. But it's a step down when it comes to pacing and spectacle, as little seems to happen until the finale and the action isn't very exciting. You have to decide yourself whether or not the trade was worth it, but I have mixed feelings. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEW!

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)* was infamous for going through some serious distribution problems, not being released in the U.S until 2013. I'm glad I didn't see this when it was at its most hyped among the fanbase, as I would've been pretty disappointed. I dig that it's trying to be a throwback to 1980's slashers, but it ended up recreating a lot of elements about the genre I don't like. Annoying, stupid teenagers who are deliberately unlikable, a slow burn pace and an ending that's nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is. But it lacks the visual style and mood of the films it's paying tribute to. With that said, the acting is good and the kills are gruesome, so it's still worth watching if you're a slasher fan. Just don't expect anything special...

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 29, 2018)

*House of Usher (1960)*, sometimes referred to as "The Fall of the House of Usher", was the first Roger Corman/Vincent Price adaptation of an Edgar Allen Poe story. Even though Corman is primarily known as a schlock King, there was a time when he created prestigious genre flicks, such as "Masque of the Red Death" and "Pit and the Pendulum". "House of Usher" starts a formula that would be perfected in subsequent Corman/Price collaborations, but it is still a surprisingly moody period piece. The atmosphere is suitably Gothic and Vincent Price turns in one of his more chilling performances. I wasn't entirely sure where the story was going to go either, so even though the pacing is a little sluggish in parts, I had to know how it was going to end and I was not disappointed. 

3.5/4

Reactions: Like 2


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## Uncle Acid (Jul 30, 2018)

Brilliant film! It's well-written, beautifully directed and superbly acted throughout. And, like the other films in his Poe-cycle it's absolutely gorgeous to look at. The costumes, the sets and the use of colour is nothing short of gorgeous and a real pleasure to the eye, and of course the cast for each of these films. Visually stunning films, with the exception of The Raven. The always so brilliant Vincent Price also brings some ingenius camp to the films. Incredible atmosphere too.

I think all his Poe films (as well as the Lovecraft "Poe" adaption) are absolutely stunning with the exception of The Raven, which didn't do much to me. I adore the cast and it features a few of my favourite actors ever in form of Price, Karloff and Hazel Court, but the film just didn't do it for me.

It's a shame he went for the money, despite all the love I've got for Corman as a director and producer, I'd love to see him direct more "big money" productions like these. If I'm not mistaken the budget for these were somewhere between $200 and $300 000 each, which even at the time made them low-budget horror movies. But it was a lot bigger than what he used to deal with and he sure got a lot of value out of them. Because the films looks like a billion dollars. Visually some of my favourite films ever. Like I said previously, gorgeous and a real pleasure to the eye.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 17, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEW FRENZY!!!!

Deep Blue Sea (1999)* is probably the best killer shark movie that isn't called "Jaws", but it is really f@cking dumb at times. The CGI looks like crap and the practical effects can't get the size of the sharks right. Sometimes their fins will emerge from waist deep water...other times their fins are the size of a human being...But do you know what? This movie is pretty cool if you're in the right mood for it. There are some memorable surprises, the action comes at you fast and the kills are graphic. You don't see many movies like this anymore...

3/4

*I Remember You (2017)* is an Icelandic movie and it's about as good as it is difficult to follow...and it was very difficult to follow...You'll have to read the subtitles because this is a foreign film, which might be a trial for the viewing considering how complex and slow paced the movie is. But I thought it was atmospheric, intriguing and boasted a strong pay-off to the build up. Not for everyone, but I had a strong reaction to it.

3.5/4
*
Don't Kill it! (2016)* is a Dolph Lundgren horror-comedy, where he plays a demon slayer. I found the demon mythology of this film to be fascinating enough that I REALLY hope they make a franchise out of this. So many demons, so many transfigurations, so many gimmicks...The movie is tasteless, bloody, silly, mean spirited, but it kept me entertained with its zaniness. Make no mistake though, this is a B-movie with bad effects and some even worse acting. Lundgren is at his best though when playing these types of characters. Fun stuff!

3/4

*Hush (2016)* is a Mike Flanagan ("Gerard's Game", "Before I Wake") thriller and once again, he shows us why he's one of the most promising horror directors out there. Lots of excitement and suspense, but "Hush" also has a solid script too. I like how it toys with our expectations. This is a relatively simple film, but sometimes simplicity can be the most effective form of entertainment.

3.5/4

*Grave Encounters (2011)* has a very familiar premise for a found footage movie (filmmakers doing a documentary in a haunted asylum), but the execution was surprisingly top notch. It found plenty of ways to get under my skin and kept me entertained...until it ran out of momentum for the climax...Still, this really did exceed my expectations. There is a sequel, but it's apparently not very good. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 18, 2018)

*The Meg (2018)* was alright, being fun enough that I don't regret the experience, but not being so fun that I think I would watch it again. The cast all look like they're enjoying themselves and play off of each-other well. Jason Statham is as cool as always and for the first time in forever, I actually found the kid more adorable than annoying. The special effects were usually pretty good and there were segments that I thought were thrilling. I smiled at all those references to "Jaws", primarily because at that point, the movie only desires to wink knowingly at the audience.

But I still left the theater feeling a little underwhelmed. Going into this, I wasn't actually hostile towards the PG-13 rating like a lot of people were, as I felt Megalodon's are so big that they would likely swallow someone whole instead of biting their heads off...but the beach attack really felt like it could've borrowed some of the plasma from "Piranha (2010)". This was the only time I felt like the movie was restricted, so some of the edits made it difficult to keep track of what was happening and it would suddenly cut away every time it looked like the shark might chomp someone. "The Meg" is pretty hokey and silly and dumb, but as someone who thinks "Jaws" is the greatest movie of all time, I still think it's nice to see a big budgeted shark thriller.

2.5/4
*
The Houses October Built 2 (2017)* is...hmmm...What did I like about this? I enjoyed the new 'haunts' and both movies did a good job at making me really want to go to a haunted house, as it looks like it would be a fun experience...Wouldn't want to do one of these 'extreme' haunts though. I might be a white guy, but I'm not THAT white. There are some good, creepy moments, especially leading up to the finale. What did I not like about this? Well, the first one gradually tightens the noose around the characters, as they find themselves in terse situations, being harassed by strange characters and finding themselves in progressively hostile territory. This one doesn't really have that same sense of impending danger. They don't even seem to realize that something is amiss until near the 3rd act. We know that they're being stalked by someone in a blue skeleton mask, but the effect was rather weak compared to what the first one did. The narrative is just inferior, building up to an ending that I simply did not like. I predicted it...unfortunately...and yet the resolution has a ripple effect that not only hurt this movie...but also possibly hurt the first one...It does enough right to be worth watching if you're a fan of its predecessor, but it's definitely a step down.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 14, 2018)

REVIEW CITY!

I revisited "", a spooky military-themed chiller from South Korea. My original review still stands, as I think it's creepy-as-me, but the characters can get pretty annoying.

*Outcast (2010)* is an Irish movie that blends a coming-of-age story with romance and horror. Even though you can tell that the production values were limited, the filmmakers make up for it with imaginative world building, a strong cast and a grim atmosphere that compliments its fairy tail inspirations. It's a slow burner, so it's not for everyone, but I thought it was pretty good.

3/4

*Marrowbone (2017)* caught me off guard because for awhile, I wasn't even sure I was watching a horror movie. It plays out more as a domestic drama, but gradually goes down a twisted path until indeed...it turns out I was watching a horror movie afterall...Once again, I have to warn you that this moves at a slow pace, but I thought the pay-off was worth it. Creepy, suspenseful and I was never entirely sure where it was going to go, my only issue with "Marrowbone" ended up being the epilogue. It sends the wrong message, while explaining a little bit too much.

3/4

and finally...

"*The Predator (2018)*"!

I haven't seen a movie in theaters since "The Meg", possibly making this the longest dry period of movies that simply did not interest me enough to go to the big screen in my life...Actually, that's probably not true, as I am more cautious about where I throw my money towards these days, but it still feels weird. I almost saw "The Nun", but the weak reception siphoned away all of my interest. "The Predator" isn't getting good reviews either, but the original "Predator" means too much to me. I will see a thousand of these movies in theaters, even if they suck...

Which this movie does...not?

"The Predator" was better than what I had resigned myself to expect, but make no mistake, it is very, very flawed. It's a shame too, because I think this movie prepped a shot in the arm that the franchise desperately needed, only to accidentally stick it in someone else's ass. You can tell that there were a lot of re-shoots and re-writes, as characters simply vanish, despite implications that they would show up later on. Other characters 'sort of' die off-screen, or their deaths would be so abrupt that you couldn't keep up with it. One 'kill' in particular was the one you really are excited for, but don't blink, or you'll miss it. There was one shot in the movie that bothered me, because it might've been the leftovers of a deleted scene, where you see a (normal) dog running towards the characters...The camera even lingers on it and other characters reactions to the animal, but then...nothing happens! If I were to guess, the dog was supposed to get killed, but they cut that out without removing the build-up to its death...Or did it die and it was simply so sudden that I missed it? Other scenes will have really blunt, awkward, forced exposition that I suspect was taken from a deleted scene and clumsily refitted for the remaining scene (the absurd 'spectrum= evolution' lines).

The story doesn't even always make sense, as the predator's motivations don't really coordinate with its actions. I won't spoil anything, but remember how in "Alien vs Predator: Requiem", the Predator was erasing all evidence of alien lifeforms...while skinning its own victims...? It's sort of like that. The finale in general is so awkwardly lit and edited at times that I suspect it was the result of re-shoots.

So with all of this bad stuff, why am I 'OK' with this movie? For one, I respect that "The Predator" tries to push the overarching story forward, instead of just rehashing the formula of its predecessors (finale notwithstanding). Shane Black, even if he did fumble in the long run, does provide many cool, memorable moments that stand out amongst all of the other movies. For example, we see Jets have skirmishes with Alien aircraft. I always appreciate it when franchise films give audiences new memories, instead of just reminding us of established ones. There are also some great visual ideas, like when a camouflaged Predator in a morbidly creative way. Or when the heroes get their first taste of the big Predator, as we only see its shadow and silhouette at first. The movie is fast paced...possibly detrimentally so...and action and mayhem is always jumping out from around every corner. Usually, it's pretty bad-ass! The kills are gruesome and the predator effects have never looked better.

I've heard people complain that the humor is reminiscent of an MCU movie, but I think that's unfair, as it's more akin to Shane Black's other R-rated flicks. It's nowhere near as clever or as funny, but I will admit to laughing quite a bit during my viewing experience. Sometimes the joke will go on a little too long (Thomas Jane's comment to Olivia Munn) or sometimes they will induce eye rolling and groans (the 'THUMBS UP' gag), but I usually found the casts' goofy antics to be funny. Speaking of which, I thought everyone was great. The cast likable and fun, even if maybe they're having a bit too much fun? Sometimes they don't seem to be taking the situation seriously enough and what comes out of their mouth- while amusing on its own- will deflate the tension I think I was supposed to feel.

But do you know what? I still had fun. I enjoyed myself even when the movie's story was stumbling, even when the tone was being derailed or a gag would fail. It's OK to enjoy something even if it's too flawed to be good. That doesn't mean you will like it. I can see a lot of Predator purists feeling that this movie betrays the lore of its aliens, but I guess that doesn't bother me as much because the established lore limits what can be done with the sequels. I don't necessarily like these revelations, but at least they were trying something new. I would say "The Predator" is better than both of the "Alien Vs Predator" movies, but not as good as "Predator 2". I think "Predators" is technically the superior movie, but it's also a lot safer and easier to forget. I think "The Predator" has more flaws, but also more points of interest- for better or worse.

2.5/4


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## Mickey Mouse (Sep 19, 2018)

I request Puppet Master: The littlest Rheich


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## MartialHorror (Sep 24, 2018)

"*The Similars (2015)*" is a Mexican thriller where a group of strangers encounter strange happenings at a lonely bus station that is isolated from the rest of the world thanks to a freak storm. I love these kinds of bottle thrillers and "The Similars" goes into some strange and freaky territory. I was on the edge of my seat, but it's also very campy, so it's just as silly as it is unsettling. I loved it!

3.5/4

"*The Endless (2017)*" is apparently a sequel to a movie called "Resolution" and I regret not watching that first...as this was really good. It's a lot different than most movies that deal with strange cults, but it has strong characters and I kept wondering where the story was going. It's not really scary, but can be somewhat chilling in its mysterious and you feel like something bad is lurking in the background.

3.5/4 

"*Murder Party (2007)*" is...good? The filmmakers accomplished a lot with a very little budget. It has a good balance of tension and humor. The story is odd and the characters are suitably quirky, but...I wasn't blown away? There's nothing wrong with being a good movie though and that's how I perceive this. The director would go on to do "Blue Ruin" and "Green Room".  

3/4

"*The Babysitter (2017)*" is a hit-or-miss comedy, but it's short enough that the misses don't sting as much as the hits land on your funny bone. This is a movie where a villain takes a break from trying to kill the protagonist...so he can teach him to stand up to bullies...and then he will try to kill him again. I laughed hard during these moments, but I did groan during the misfires. Are they really still doing the whole 'token black guy' routine? 

2.5/4

"*Mulholland Drive (2001)*" is...a David Lynch movie...and that is my review. You'll either love it or hate it, because David Lynch movies are indeed, David Lynch movies.

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Sep 25, 2018)

MartialHorror said:


> "*The Endless (2017)*" is apparently a sequel to a movie called "Resolution" and I regret not watching that first...as this was really good. It's a lot different than most movies that deal with strange cults, but it has strong characters and I kept wondering where the story was going. It's not really scary, but can be somewhat chilling in its mysterious and you feel like something bad is lurking in the background.
> 
> 3.5/4



I've not seen The Endless yet, but I have understood it so that there are a few characters that pops up in both films, but that it is not a direct sequel or anything. It just shares the same universe, and it shouldn't be a problem watching this first.

I really liked Resolution. Well worth checking out.


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## MartialHorror (Sep 25, 2018)

Uncle Acid said:


> I've not seen The Endless yet, but I have understood it so that there are a few characters that pops up in both films, but that it is not a direct sequel or anything. It just shares the same universe, and it shouldn't be a problem watching this first.
> 
> I really liked Resolution. Well worth checking out.



Pretty much. Characters from "Resolution" appear in 1 scene and they fit snugly within the narrative. "The Endless" functions as a standalone movie that doesn't require one to watch "Resolution", but...I think I know how "Resolution" will end now that I've seen "The Endless". That's why I regret watching this first...although I had no idea it was a sequel until after I had seen it, so...oh well?

I added "Resolution" to my netflix queue anyway.


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## James Bond (Sep 25, 2018)

Watched Unfriended Dark Web recently and honestly with a semi decent budget (to get some shock/gross scenes) it could've been okay but it was just really boring and I was more interested in seeing them play Cards Against Humanity honestly.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2018)

MINI REVIEW: Which can be read at my website!

-Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941): An adaptation of the classic literature, this one stars Spencer Tracy, Lana Turner and Ingrid Bergman.

_*INFORMAL REVIEWS*_

*ParaNorman (2012)* is a family friendly, stop-motion animation picture, although it does push the boundaries as to what is acceptable for children. I usually laughed at the comedy and sniffled at the tear jerking moments, yet even though I'm not the biggest fan of the Tim Burton-esque animation style, I found it to be a very charming experience. I also dug the little references to 1980's zombie flicks.

3/4

*Hold the Dark (2018)* convinced me it was a masterpiece with its haunting imagery, unsettling mood and unpredictable story...until the ending...and then I was just confused, unsatisfied and a little frustrated. It might fall apart around the climax, but I spent at least an hour and a half of its runningtime enthralled on some level, so I think the movie is at least "good". The slow pacing is NOT for everyone though.

3/4
*
Down the Dark Hall (2018)* is another movie that kept my attention until it decided to rudely push me away during the 3rd act. I was really liking the mystery and mounting spookiness, but once they reveal the "why", it started to lose me. I guess I'll give it some credit for having an unconventional 'twist', but it's still silly and the climax relies on some bad effects. Once again though, at least I was intrigued for awhile.

2.5/4
*
Long Weekend (1978)* is one of those rare movies to actually get under my skin and leave me a nervous wreck. A couple travel to an isolated beach in a desperate attempt to repair their failing relationship and the filmmakers sow the seeds of unease from the very beginning. Are they conspiring to kill each-other? The direction the story takes is odd and sounds silly when spoken aloud, but the execution genuinely creeped me out. Atmosphere and ambiance at its finest! The only downside is that the characters are so deliberately unlikable that at times, I had to resist the urge to fast forward through their bickering.

3.5/4
*
The Invitation (2015)* isn't a horror flick, but it is one of those classy kinds of dinner party movies, where you know the characters are going to dance with danger. It's very slow paced, but the pay-off was worth it.

3/4

*Painkillers (2015)* f@cking sucks. 

1.5/4

and finally...

"*Hell Fest (2018)*" was OK if you're into slashers. I myself am partial to the genre and the movie makes great use of its horror-theme park environments. The various props, mazes, costumes and gimmicks alone were creepy and creative. I REALLY want to go to one of these haunts some day, as they like like a lot of fun. The setting is piled on with fog, fluorescent lights, strobe lights, colorful filters and eerie music. I found the killers costume to be effective, although I found the character to be somewhat underwhelming. This might be because the story is so simple that there isn't even a mystery to solve. We never learn anything about him, but we also don't care because whoever is underneath the mask, all of the characters are already accounted for. Even his motivation amounts to nothing because he kills randomly and the protagonists happened to stumble upon him.

I was pleasantly surprised by the cast though. They sometimes get dangerously close to being annoying, but I found their exchanges to be amusing and endearing enough...even if some of their dialogue is 'interesting'. Did someone seriously say "gnarly"? While the simplicity of the plot means there is nothing of substance, it also means there is no real dramatic filler either. They establish that some of these relationships are less than ideal, but then...nothing comes of it. I would say 95% of the screen-time is dedicated to the festival, if not the killer himself.

The kills are...adequate? I guess? The effects are practical and look good, but I thought the deaths were annoyingly unimaginative. Every good slasher requires one standout death that practically defines the movie, whether it's the raft massacre of "The Burning", the arrow in "Friday the 13th" or the pitchfork of "The Prowler". "Hell Fest" is mostly comprised of basic stabbings and while the killer gets a little more ambitious during the 2nd half, we've seen all of these kills before. The director also relies a lot on cliches when trying to scare the audience or build up suspense. How many times does the killer seemingly teleport on-screen? Finally, there is one moment so amazingly bad that I laughed out loud. The heroine somehow confuses the most notorious of the mazes with the EXIT? That's the type of nonsense you would expect to see in the parody of "Hell Fest".

But still, you don't see too many slashers like this getting theatrical releases anymore, so I'm glad I was able to see it. The setting did mostly distract me from the flaws though, so I would recommend "Hell Fest" IF- and only IF- you're into slashers.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 16, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEW ORGY! *

I watched the "Cube" trilogy for the first time and while these movies are flawed enough to where I can't say they're 'good', it's still a surprisingly consistent and decent trilogy. The gimmick for all of these films is that a handful of strangers wake up in a mysterious- yet vaguely futuristic- room. They quickly realize that they are in a maze of identical rooms, above, below and all around them and some are booby trapped. *Cube (1997)* has such an impressive setting that I initially thought it boasted above average production values, but much to my surprise, I found out it cost around $400,000. How does a movie so cheap look so expensive? Well, in hindsight, they just re-used the same room over and over again, which should've been obvious considering all of the rooms look alike...STILL! The movie earned my respect for that alone, enough so that I could almost forgive the subpar acting, the weak dialogue, the frustrating characters and that obnoxious tactic where the first few deaths are incredibly violent, but the rest are off-screen, implied or are given a discretion shot...ALMOST! There was a good twist though that I did not really see coming. *Cube 2: Hypercube (2002) *has the same gimmick, but is stylistically completely different than its predecessor. Whereas the first had an industrial, rusty aesthetic, this one has a more fantastical look, with an unnaturally bright...white color scheme? The first film had traps like acid spraying on peoples faces, while this one rooms that cause time to speed up so rapidly that they apparently die of old age...or something? I don't know if I like it as much, but props to the filmmakers for trying something new. It's just too bad that the CGI effects SUCK and the characters are poorly written. *Cube Zero (2004)* is more stylistically in line with the first film and is the goriest of the three. The effects were pretty good when it came to the messy stuff and we learn more about the titular cube. Tonally, it's a little confused and the supporting characters exist only to die. I did like both the hero and the villain though. Overall, these films are decent and a little unique, so I would say it was a pretty solid, low budgeted trilogy. 

2.5/4         

*Terrifier (2017) *is the cousin of "It" and let's just say that..."Terrifier" is the black sheep of the evil clown family. This movie is F@CKED UP! The kills are so gruesome, intentive and mean spirited to the point of arguably becoming offensive, but the effects are really good in that messy, schlocky kind of way. The clown is creepy and somehow manages to be even creepier when playing up the comedic antics. It has a short running time and moves quickly, BUT BE WARNED, this is ONLY for hardcore gore fans. The low budget is apparent at times, but the only real issues I had with the movie were some questionable creative choices. I don't like movies that start off spoiling the ending and there is a...twist, let's say...that I thought lessened the second half of the film. Still...this move be f@cked up!

3/4   

*Death Race: Beyond Anarchy (2018)* is the fourth entry in this...saga? Actually, I guess it's the 6th if you count the original "Death Race 2000" and its sequel/remake, "Death Race 2050". I think this is supposed to take place in the same continuity as the Jason Statham "Death Race" and its Luke Goss-starring sequels...But I'm not really sure where the timeline is at anymore. Does this take place before or after the Jason Statham one? Anyway, it's not bad for a direct-to-DVD flick. They do a good job at making the car chases, the hand-to-hand fights and the sets look more expensive than they probably were. The film is bathing in sleaze and the acting is better than the movie deserves, but the conclusion just..sucked. It kind of ruined the movie and made me realize that the lead character also sucked, because he's written in a way that makes you- the audience- emotionally detached from his plight. Still, it's better than "Death Race 3". 

2/4 
*
Tales of Halloween (2015)* is a holiday themed anthology and...some shorts are good, some are COMPLETE F@CKING GARBAGE and most are unsatisfying mediocre. The film has some decent star power from a horror directors standpoint, such as Neil Marshall ("The Descent") and Darren Lynn Bousman ("Saw 2-4"). The former had the best short, where a Pumpkin comes comes to life and terrorizes a neighborhood. The latter had the worst short, where bullshit happens and I think I was supposed to be amused. There's also a short with a Jason Voorhees-like killer that had me in stitches and Lucky McKee- whose work I usually don't care for- had one that was unsettling in its campiness. Yet others, like the short where two neighbors feud over Halloween attractions, are boring because you know exactly where they're going...and where they're going is pretty boring too. I wish there were title cards to signal the change in short stories, but I guess I'll give it credit for being smoothly paced overall. "Tales of Halloween" is an uneven mess, but might be worth a look if you watch it with friends. 

2/4 

*Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)- *Posted from my facebook review. *
*


> "Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)" was good. I'm a big fan of 'bottle thrillers', so this movie already had an advantage over me. A bunch of mysterious strangers gathering at an isolated location, where a murder will certainly take place? I'm already loving it! This one in particular had great characters, played by a great cast, who give great performances. The dialogue is top notch, the atmosphere is effective and the suspense is on point. I also found it to be darkly humorous.
> 
> There are two things, however, that you should know when deciding whether or not this is for you. The first is that "Bad Times at the El Royale" was obviously inspired by "The Hateful Eight" and can even be argued as a rip-off. I found some of the framing devices to be somewhat unnecessary, especially considering how derivative they were. The second thing is that the movie is a little too long and a little too slow in parts. One character is a singer and a lot of screen-time is dedicated to her craft. Sometimes I thought it added a lot to the style and dramatic weight of the scene, other times I grew impatient because I really had to pee.
> 
> ...


----------



## Uncle Acid (Oct 17, 2018)

I absolutely loved Terrifier. Fantastic atmosphere, the coolest and by far scariest clown I've ever seen and so on. Fantastic film! Any better clown films out there? I can't think of any. Billion times cooler than It, both the original and especially the remake.


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## Uncle Acid (Oct 18, 2018)

I highly recommend Gareth Evans' recent folk-horror film Apostle. He does horror as well as he does martial arts films. What a fantastic director, and what a stunning movie. Just fantastic throughout.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2018)

Yeah, it's on my to do list. I thought "It" was better than "Terrifier" overall, but "Terrifier" was probably the more intense experience. 

*INFORMAL REVIEW!*

*Stitches (2012)* is an Irish horror-comedy about an undead clown wrecking havoc and it is another feature that can currently be streamed on netflix. The gore effects are really good, with each of the kills standing out as dementedly creative. I also thought it was consistently amusing, although I'm already forgetting what parts stood out as especially funny. I would say "Stitches" is decent, but nothing more because the coming-of-age flavored drama is a bit of a wet blanket on its entertainment value. A high school kid suffering from PTSD over being indirectly responsible for the death of a clown and being terrorized over bullies for it is too depressing for this kind of silly gore fest. It also doesn't help that I watched "Stitches" so closely after "Terrifier", which makes this seem tame and underwhelming in comparison. 

2.5/4 

*FORMAL REVIEW!*

"" functions as both a sequel and a soft reboot to the 1978 classic of the same name, scrubbing all of the sequels from the continuity, including all of the plot developments that would arguably define the franchise. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) has grown up to become a survival nut, terrified- yet also hopeful- that her nemesis Michael Myers will escape from the mental institution he has been dormant in for 40 years. She gets her wish, but age has only made Michael more bloodthirsty and now both her daughter (Judy Greer) and granddaughter (Andi Matichak) are in peril. While not perfect, "Halloween (2018)" is easily the best of the sequels and recaptures a lot of the creepiness and suspense of the original. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 31, 2018)

*HALLOWEEN NAKED INFORMAL REVIEW FRENZY! 

Amer (2009)* is a French-Belgian co-production stylized after Gialli from the 1970's, although I'd describe it as an art-house feature dressed in the attire of a horror movie. There is minimal dialogue and even less plot, but there is a lot of provocative imagery. The visuals are as amazing as the pacing is agonizingly slow, making it impossible to rate this. It is exactly what it wants to be, but isn't necessarily what I wanted it to be.

*Office (2015) *comes from South Korea and for the first 40 minutes, I was convinced I was watching a masterpiece. Great characters were participating in an interesting, suspenseful and uncomfortable storyline, while also having something important to say about office life. But then the pacing suddenly slows down and while this didn't bother me as I was invested in what was going on, it almost seems to forget that it's a horror-thriller. The third act brings the movie back into the genre, but by then, it's relying on a twist that I saw coming a mile away. At no point does "Office" become bad or subpar, but the 2nd half isn't as compelling as the first. "Office" is currently available to stream on netflix. 

3/4
*
The Strangers: Prey At Night (2018)* is the belated sequel to "The Strangers (2008)", which might have caught peoples attention more if the producers had struck while the iron was hot, as the first one wasn't that relevant in spite of its success. The sequel wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, as I liked how it was stylized after 1980's slashers. The score, the cinematography and the stylistic flourishes did recreate a lot of that kind of atmosphere. But the movie bleeds momentum because after the first 25 minutes, it's one big, repetitive chase scene. It grows monotonous after awhile. "The Strangers 2" is currently available to stream on Amazon Prime.

2.5/4

*The Town that Dreaded Sundown (2014)* is probably more entertaining to fans of the original, which I'm not. There are some good moments that are genuinely creepy, distressing or bloody, but the narrative collapses under some sloppy writing masquerading as homage. The love story is boring, the final twist blatantly rips off another iconic slasher, but doesn't make a lick of sense when explained here. Why did they need Anthony Anderson's "lone wolf" character if he barely has an impact on the plot, outside of being a reference to the original? It's also strange that he shares the same last name as the equivalent character from the original film, except the original film was actually a movie in this universe, so the homage doesn't even make sense. Another "Amazon Prime" stream/

2/4

*Hell House LLC (2015)* was a great found footage flick...until the stupid, absurd, nonsensical, disorienting, lame climax decided to knock it down a few pegs. It's a very unsatisfying conclusion, but until then, "Hell House LLC" was being awesome with its creepy imagery, unnerving atmosphere and suspenseful pacing. Another "Amazon Prime" stream, although last I saw, it was also available for free on tubitv.

3/4
*
The Apostle (2018)* is a netflix original and while it's undergoing a minor backlash for daring not to meet audience expectations, I thought it was pretty good. Gareth Evans ("The Raid") provides some freaky-yet cool- imagery and the performances are all phenomenal. The story explores some unpredictable territory, so it was nice not knowing what was waiting for me around the corner. The pacing is...flawed...I was expecting a slow burner, but the thrills begin surprisingly early. It just feels like too many scenes go on longer than they should, even the action packed or frightening ones, making the movie seem slower than it really is.

3/4

*Island Zero (2018)* broke my heart. I love the concept, where an island becomes isolated from the rest of the world without warning...and then people start to disappear...I guess in the films favor, the setting and premise alone distinguish it from most bad movies, but...it's bad! The characters suck, the acting sucks, the writing sucks, the pacing sucks, the special effects suck and the reveals suck too. "Island Zero" can be streamed on Amazon Prime...but it sucks!

1/4


----------



## James Bond (Nov 15, 2018)

Sorry if you've already reviewed it but thoughts on the Nun @MartialHorror ? I was thinking of giving it a watch but it looks like a cheap jump scare film which will ultimately have a disappointing conclusion.

May give Terrifier a watch based on your review :WOW


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## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2018)

James Bond said:


> Sorry if you've already reviewed it but thoughts on the Nun @MartialHorror ? I was thinking of giving it a watch but it looks like a cheap jump scare film which will ultimately have a disappointing conclusion.
> 
> May give Terrifier a watch based on your review :WOW



I haven't seen it yet, but I hear it's pretty much "a cheap jump scare film which ultimately has a disappointing conclusion"...albeit one that is more polished than most. Hopefully it's not as dull as "Winchester". I will eventually see it, but I can't tell you when that will be.

*INFORMAL REVIEW HAPPY NAKED HOUR OF NUDITY!!! 
*
*Ghost Stories (2017) *is an anthology horror film, surrounding a professor who debunks tales of the supernatural. He's recruited by a fellow skeptic to solve three mysteries that seemingly cannot be explained, which comprises most of the running-time. "Ghost Stories" is handsomely produced, boasts a strong cast and offers a healthy dose of unease and thrills. The stories aren't original in the slightest, but they have enough suspense, atmosphere and jump scares to make up for it. But I feel like the anthology was 'all build-up, little pay-off'. The stories end just as they're getting interesting. The wraparound segment does get delightfully bizarre, but even that ends on a rather flat note. I was also often annoyed that an investigator never traveled to the locations that are allegedly haunted. Nevertheless, "Ghost Stories" was pretty good.

3/4

*The Night Comes for Us (2018)* is an Indonesian martial arts film and it might just be the most violent entry within the genre that I've ever seen. The fight scenes are just as grisly as they are stylish...actually, I take that back...They are much grislier than they are stylish, even though they're pretty f@cking stylish. Much like "Headshot", it has a slow start, but once the mayhem begins, you are almost begging for it to stop and give you a breather. I said "almost", as "The Night Comes for Us" is f@cking awesome and I don't think I would change a damn thing about it. Iko Uwais ("The Raid", "Headshot") gets to be the antagonist this time around and while it's strange seeing him be the villainous foil to a much larger man, this is probably his best performance. This isn't a horror flick, but it's so graphic that I figured it might appeal to genre fans anyway. 

4/4

*The Caller (2011)* is one of those movies that was so great that you can't help but wonder why you haven't heard of it before, only to lose some of its power with a predictable, lame ending that kind of pisses you off. It's about a woman who's in the middle of divorcing her abusive husband, so moves into an old apartment, where she starts getting some strange phone calls. I won't reveal anything else, as that is all I knew about this story going into it. The appeal of "The Caller" is that travels through territory I did NOT expect and it does so with some class and style. The script is very well written and suspenseful. The characters are either likable or terrifying, but everyone is interesting. Even though the ending made me roll my eyes, it didn't really ruin the suspense. "The Caller" was just really good and deserves more attention.

3.5/4

and the big one...currently in theaters!

"*Overlord (2018)*" was good, although I kind of feel like the marketing department presented the movie as a much different kind of experience. The majority of the screen-time plays out like a terse war-thriller, where characters are constantly finding themselves in uncomfortable and nerve wracking situations...The 2nd half starts gradually introducing horror elements until the finale fully embraces the genre, but most of the selling points in the trailer are taken from the 2nd half. I don't really know if there was a better way to promote this though, as even though the 'Nazi zombies' are presented as a 'twist' in the actual film, I think it would've alienated a lot of viewers had "Overlord" been marketed as a war thriller.

Either way, I had fun. The suspense got to me, even if some of the jump scares were too obvious for my tastes. There are some creepy moments and cool action scenes. There are definitely some really good, thrilling moments, whether "Overlord" is functioning as a behind-enemy-lines war thriller or a zombie-mutant horror flick. The shift in genres progresses naturally and the pacing never slows down or burns itself out. I am happy to have supported it in theaters.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 29, 2018)

*UPDATE! *

I'm moving the re-reviews (ie: anything that was lost with my freewebs site) from the mini-reviews section to their own page, titled "The Corpses of Dead Reviews: Horror". It's martial arts brethren will arrive soon. I've added three new re-reviews for your reading pleasure!

*Kill Baby...Kill! (1966)*- A Gothic horror film, often regarded as Mario Bava's best movie.

*Don't Look Now (1973)*- Directed by the late Nicolas Roeg, this one is hard to describe, but is often considered to be a genre classic.

*Opera (1987)*- A Giallo, one of Dario Argento's most notorious films. 



*INFORMAL REVIEWS

Dead Night (2017)* kind of pissed me off, while also impressing me with how much it could inspire anger with all of its positive attributes. The movie has some great atmosphere, thanks to its snow glazed location and top notch cinematography. The special effects are good and the concept is attention grabbing...But this is one of those movies where it's hard to like the cast, who often do or say ridiculous shit that only would be said or done in a crappy horror flick. The movie spoils the ending too early and the titular ending just left me feeling cold and indifferent. "Dead Night" is wildly uneven enough to love or hate, so I'm naturally torn in the middle.

2/4

*Red State (2011)* was Kevin Smith's first horror film...and his last good horror film...and by good, I mean it's just OK. The narrative is lean and mean, so it's fast paced, but it's also devoid of substance even though it really feels like it should have some substance. Michael Parks carries the bulk of the movie though with his amazing performance as a Fred Phelps-esque character. The dialogue and acting is good from everyone though, but the movie lost me with a bait-and-switch conclusion. You think the story is going...somewhere...and it sounds amazing, but then it changes its mind and has to explain everything a little too clearly for the audience. The strange thing is that the ending isn't necessarily bad, as it allows John Goodman to do something that isn't barking orders at people, the dialogue is still strong and the final scene made me laugh. It's just a creative decision that is just as off-putting as it is bold.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2018)

- The conclusion to the 'Axis' trilogy portion of the franchise, making this the...12th entry? Maybe? Don't care! Set during World War 2, the allies and Nazi's engage in espionage warfare utilizing psychics and killer puppets...I thought "Axis of Evil" and "Axis Rising" were both pretty bad, even though they're among the better sequels to be found within this film series, _something that should terrify you_. Yet "Axis Termination" is actually...also pretty bad...but in a fun way! I was consistently amused at the incompetence, so I can't say this was a bad experience. 

2/4

If I were to give this franchise a ranking, from "best" to worst, it would be-

- Puppet Master 3
- Puppet Master 2
- Axis Termination
- Puppet Master 4
- Puppet Master
- Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys
- Axis of Evil
- Axis Rising
- Puppet Master 5
- Retro Puppet Master
- Curse of the Puppet Master
- Puppet Master: The Legacy

It's difficult to give these films an order, as I'm not sure whether I'd list "Puppet Master 5" below the first two 'Axis' films...or if they're inferior to the cross-over with Demonic Toys. I think they're better from a technical standpoint, but they're also blander.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 14, 2018)

*INFORMAL REVIEWS ARE IN THE AIR! 
*
*Hardware (1990)* can easily be dismissed as a "Terminator" rip-off, but that isn't a fair accusation...because it really ripped off "Shok", a short story from a British magazine! This is a pretty cool movie though. It's heavy on post-apocalyptic atmosphere and while a lot of it is irrelevant in the long run, it's still quite the spectacle to behold. The movie can be trippy, sexy, scary, bizarre, violent, exciting, clever and even f@cking stupid. I mean...I know you're distracted by the creep in your apartment, but you know there's still a killer robot in there, so ACT LIKE IT. "Hardware" is flawed, but even its flaws arguably help the film stand out in a good way. You can tell that some of the subplots were left on the editing room floor, as it's implied one character might be dying, as he has a very pronounced cough...but nothing ever comes from it...Was there supposed to be a love triangle? It's implied there's something there, but once again, there is no pay-off to the set-up...and I'm not even complaining. These elements added to the grimy atmosphere, which is a large part of the appeal. 

3/4 
*
Raw (2016)* is a French-Belgian...horror drama? The film garnered controversy for its graphic content, which surrounds cannibalism. "Raw" is designed to make you uncomfortable. It's supposed to be off-putting and the filmmakers do a such good job at getting under your skin in this kind of way that...the movie goes full circle and becomes difficult to like...I respect "Raw" for sticking with its tone. When characters get naked or have sex, it's just as unpleasant as the violence. The content is bleak and disturbing, but do you know what's the hardest part about it? It's not sensationalist exploitation like "Cannibal Holocaust". The gore is grounded in reality and most of the movie is about the heroine struggling with her urges. Yet at no point did I really enjoy myself here...Throughout my entire viewing experience, I wanted to put the movie behind me because it was so effective. I did feel like some of the editing was...questionable...though, as if gaps of the narrative were missing.  

3/4 

*Mandy (2018)* was a little disappointing. The movie has a far-out visual style, a great soundtrack and a Nicolas Cage in full Nicolas Cage mode. For such a simple set-up, the film has very unique characters and an imaginative story to accompany the visuals. But "Mandy" is VERY slow paced and I started to drift off during the chainsaw fight scene. How the f@ck a movie can put ME to sleep with an incredibly cool chainsaw fight scene is beyond me, but "Mandy" did it. Nevertheless, I think it's a good film that I probably would've appreciated a lot more if it weren't for the hype and the trailer, which tricked me into thinking it was going to be an action film. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 17, 2018)

- A soft reboot of the infamous franchise, starring Thomas Lennon, Udo Kier, Barbara Crampton and Michael Paré, written by S. Craig Zahler ("Bone Tomahawk") and scored by the great Fabio Frizzi ("Zombi", "The Beyond")...So wait, a Puppet Master filled with all sorts of talented individuals? That seems more like a fictional idea than the killer puppets! "The Littlest Reich" is hardcore, with so many insanely graphic and imaginative death scenes and a fun cast. It's not perfect, especially as the ending just feels like they ran out of money, but I was very entertained...Can they make a franchise out of this instead of the other ones? _Please?!_ 

3/4

UPDATED ORDER

- Puppet Master 3
- The Littlest Reich
- Puppet Master 2
- Axis Termination
- Puppet Master 4
- Puppet Master
- Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys
- Axis of Evil
- Axis Rising
- Puppet Master 5
- Retro Puppet Master
- Curse of the Puppet Master
- Puppet Master: The Legacy

I can't completely decide whether this surpassed "Puppet Master 3" or not, but it's close!


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## MartialHorror (Dec 25, 2018)

*WE WISH YOU AN INFORMAL REVIEW CHRISTMAS!!!
*
*Sharktopus (2010) *is a SyFy original (heaven help us) produced by Roger Corman and starring Eric Roberts. I usually don't like this kind of schlock, but I seem to favor Roger Corman's garbage over the likes of the Asylum. I wouldn't go so far to say that I enjoyed "Sharktopus" with its awful effects, writing, acting and directing...although it should be noted that the badness is clearly deliberate...but I was never angry or bored with it either. I think I would've enjoyed this more if I was watching this with friends, preferably when alcohol is involved. Apparently this has three sequels, but as none are available on netflix, it won't be a contender for 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder'...yet... 

2/4

By the way, did you know that "Santa Jaws" is a thing? I WANT TO SEE THAT ONE!


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## MartialHorror (Jan 4, 2019)

2018 has concluded and quite frankly, the year could go f@ck itself with a spoon, but even though I don't venture out to the theaters as much these days, I had plenty of positive experiences--both on the big screen and the small one. So without further ado,

*...and the 2018 releases that he wasn't so fond of...
*
_And as a bonus, INFORMAL REVIEWSTER! _*

The Gatehouse (2018)* is an odd combination of horror, fantasy and comedy and it's...well, very tonally confused. It's biggest problem though is that it's too reminiscent of other, better movies, ranging from "Pan's Labyrinth" to "The Hallow". Yet the final product was still decent thanks to polished and atmospheric cinematography, which found the right balance of creepiness and magical. The cast is great and they have strong chemistry together, but the characters were often difficult to like. You're supposed to root for this Father-Daughter duo, especially as the first act spends so much time making them the underdogs of the story. But Daddy is an asshole, being rude and dismissive to strangers, so we can't feel too bad when he's bullied by his Agent. The kid is a brat, whom I sometimes wished would become tree monster food..."Troll 2" style, baby! The monster has a simple, yet effective, design and there are some memorable moments. The 'green' message came off as more hokey than sincere though, the ending was a bit too safe and predictable, while the humor sometimes killed the suspense. I also HATED the reliance of dream sequences and dream-within-dream sequences, especially as some of the foreshadowing (Daddy chopping off his kids' fingers) leads nowhere. "The Gatehouse" suffers from a lot of flaws, but there is a dysfunctional charm to the movie. You can tell everyone involved was putting 110% effort into the project and its successes left a little bit more of an impact than its failures. I always appreciate eccentric movies. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 13, 2019)

- Godzilla is...literally taking a nap...as a mysterious being known  as "King Ghidorah" threatens to consume all life on earth. The human heroes are forced to make some very difficult decisions; use Ghidorah to slay Godzilla or let Godzilla continue his reign of terror? If you didn't like the previous two entries of this trilogy, you're not going to like this either; even if it does boast the best art direction. But if you liked its predecessors, then you should find this to be a satisfying conclusion. I do respect some of the creative decisions here, as this anime trilogy isn't afraid of taking risks. 

2/4 

AND INFORMAL REVIEW THINGS! 

*Cam (2018)* was shockingly good! This 'cam girl'-themed thriller has an intriguing premise and knows how to build suspense from it. I was constantly wondering what was going to happen, where it was going to go, what the f@ck was even going on...The protagonist was very likable and the actress deserves a lot of credit for taking on such a daring role. One of the best netflix movies I've seen! 

3.5/4 
*
May the Devil Take You (2018)* is an Indonesian horror flick, drawing inspiration from "Evil Dead". This movie has some good stuff, ranging from the make-up effects to well crafted jump scares. The characters sometimes do ridiculously stupid shit though, like how they decide to let the little girl sleep alone when they know that evil is on the prowl..."May the Devil Take You" is also too long, bogged down by drawn out false endings. Yet I spent the majority of the running-time enjoying the ride. This is really what "Dead Night" should've been. 

3/4

*Evil Dead Trap (1988)* is...trash...Japanese trash! Yet the film is pretty entertaining as B-grade schlock thanks to its gruesome gore effects. These types of movies aren't afraid of breaking taboos either, so there's always a little suspense in not knowing how much someone is going to suffer when they inevitably perish. If the movie has a real problem, it's that it burns through most of its cast by the half way point, so the remaining screen-time is mostly walking and talking. Also -- if "May the Devil Take You" has too many false endings, this one wrote the book on such a flaw. 

2.5/4 
*
They're Watching (2016)* is a mostly standard, middle-ground, found footage thriller...until it reaches the finale, where it suddenly becomes laughably terrible and kind of awesome. I'm talking extreme gore, ridiculous special effects and a silly sense of humor that wasn't present throughout the first two acts. My immediate reaction was hostility, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the finale was the only thing about "They're Watching" that I would likely remember. So watch it with an open mind.  

2.5/4


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## reiatsuflow (Jan 15, 2019)

Missed suspira in theaters, but caught it on demand recently and 2018 is such a blessed year for horror movies.

The movie's not perfect, but it's very much a modernized argento with all the cheeseball gonzo stuff included. Whoever put this movie together is more talented than argento ever was with his schlock, but the callbacks aren't overwhelming and it's as good of a remake as you could ask.

Another great quality horror movie even with its missteps. Like chloe grace moretz. She was a great kid actor, but something happened in the interim because she's flat out bad in suspira.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2019)

reiatsuflow said:


> Missed suspira in theaters, but caught it on demand recently and 2018 is such a blessed year for horror movies.
> 
> The movie's not perfect, but it's very much a modernized argento with all the cheeseball gonzo stuff included. Whoever put this movie together is more talented than argento ever was with his schlock, but the callbacks aren't overwhelming and it's as good of a remake as you could ask.
> 
> Another great quality horror movie even with its missteps. Like chloe grace moretz. She was a great kid actor, but something happened in the interim because she's flat out bad in suspira.



Heeeeeeeeey,

Don't mock Argento! Even if he did do that movie where Dracula turns into a giant preying mantis to kill someone...

I still haven't seen the remake. I plan on doing a 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' on the franchise though, so will likely see it and review them all in February.


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## reiatsuflow (Jan 15, 2019)

^I'm being hard on argento but I can't get that adrian brody movie he did out of my system. Or that mother of tears movie he did with his daughter. 

It took me awhile to ease off john carpenter after ghosts of mars too, and I only managed to forget and forgive because halloween scared me so much as a kid.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2019)

reiatsuflow said:


> ^I'm being hard on argento but I can't get that adrian brody movie he did out of my system. Or that mother of tears movie he did with his daughter.
> 
> It took me awhile to ease off john carpenter after ghosts of mars too, and I only managed to forget and forgive because halloween scared me so much as a kid.



"Phantom of the Opera", "Dracula 3D" and "Mother of Tears" were terrible. I thought "Giallo" -- the Adrian Brody one -- was mediocre...I don't even remember it. 

His last good movie was "Sleepless", although I was apparently the only one who enjoyed "The Card Player". Hopefully "The Sandman" is a return to form.

But I usually try to remember great filmmakers for their finer contributions to cinema, so when I think of Argento, I think of "Suspiria", "Deep Red", etc.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2019)

*Jug Face (2013) *is a backwoods horror and I'm usually not the biggest fan of these kinds of scenarios -- as the setting makes everyone and everything look a little gross. Yet this was pretty good, having decent acting, atmosphere and an attention grabbing mythos. Just beware of the slow pace!

2.5/4
*
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)* is an interactive movie that's part of the anthology series, "Black Mirror". I appreciate the 'choose-your-own-adventure' gimmick...almost as much as I appreciate how the gimmick is incorporated into the storyline...There is some strange, absurd and unsettling stuff, but I grew impatient and frustrated with it rather quickly. Not my cup of tea, I guess... Got to love netflix for experimenting though!

2/4

*Perversion Story (1969)*, also known as "One on Top of the Other", is an erotic-thriller helmed by Lucio Fulci...before he became the godfather of gore. This movie is narratively flawed, as the perspectives change at the worst possible moments, deflating a lot of the build-up. The ending was more unsatisfying than clever too. But the mystery still kept me engaged and the eroticism was suitably steamy. 

2.5/4

*Resolution (2012)* is a strange, low budgeted horror film that primarily relies on the talents of the cast, but it also contains some genuinely freaky moments. The mystery is also compelling and strange, although I think I respect this movie more than I like it. "The Endless" is sort of a sequel to this and not only is it more elegant, I feel like it honed the strengths of "Resolution", giving them a greater impact. I think I would've had a stronger reaction to this if I hadn't seen the sequel first...so watch "Resolution" before "The Endless".

3/4

and finally...

"*Glass*" review time!

I've always been...somewhat...of an M. Night Shyamalan apologist, because he's always trying to craft stories that aren't restricted by the proverbial box and I respect that. He has a lot of interesting ideas...even if they blow up in his face more often than not...

When "Glass" was announced, I was skeptical because the inevitable showdown between Dunn and the Beast would have to be a spectacle to behold -- which felt at odds with the tone established in both "Unbreakable" and "Split". Now that I've watched the movie, I've come to the conclusion that the entire concept was somewhat misguided...albeit in that "M. Night" kind of way that I do respect.

"Glass" is bold and I will have to admit, it sometimes entered territory I wasn't expecting. M. Night obviously had the current trend of superhero flicks in mind when designing this story and uses that against the audience, giving them an entirely new experience...that's very frustrating and unsatisfying!

"Unbreakable" and "Split" built up to their big reveals, but they did so in a way that kept the suspense going. With "Split", for example, the characters are constantly in danger. That keeps us engaged, but "Glass" isn't very suspenseful. The titular character spends the first half of the movie in a coma, the seems unlikely to escape and Dunn isn't in any real danger. They are being treated well, by a Doctor who's too nice to be a real antagonist...So where is the tension? You don't get any until the 2nd half of the movie, where it's just too late to start.

This isn't helped by the fact that the plot makes little sense throughout most of it. I kept asking myself "How are they being held there without a trial?", "How did the law figure out who Dunn was?", "Why is the Doctor assuming that Dunn thinks he's a superhero?" -- and I found these questions to be quite distracting. They do mostly get answered, but the answers were kind of stupid...so... It also doesn't help that some of the dialogue makes the events difficult to take seriously. The whole "Did you know that in the original comic, Superman didn't fly?" bit reminded me way too much of the "the devil causes toast to fall jelly-side down" speech from "Devil". It was bad and awful...and the logic of these characters just wasn't connecting...This mental institution takes all of these precautions, but has like 1 security guard on duty at a time?

AND YET -- the cast does an admirable job of selling these absurd lines. James McAvoy is amazing in every scene he's in and his expanded portrayal of the beast is cheesy in a strangely terrifying kind of way. Samuel Jackson is excellent...it's just too bad he's underutilized in a movie named after his character...Bruce Willis does good too, but it's hard to not be upstaged by his wilder foil.

"Glass" does have some good scenes too...even if there are just as many bad scenes. The first fight between Dunn and the Beast was pretty thrilling...and their climactic rematch outright SUCKED. They just kind of grapple and grunt and I'm sure M. Night just wanted to ground their battle in some form of reality...but this is why it's so unsatisfying!

I feel like "Glass" would've been a lot more compelling if Dunn, Glass and the Horde interacted with each-other a lot more. Every scene they play off of each-other had my interest, but it seems most of the screen-time was dedicated to them either playing off of Sarah Paulson's Doctor character or their individual supporting casts. That's not what we're watching this for...

I guess I'd rate it a 2/4.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 2, 2019)

I love military-themed horror flicks, so was eager to check out "*Trench 11 (2017)*", which takes place during 'World War 1'. It's about a tunneler who leads a small group of allied soldiers into an underground bunker, where horrific experiments were allegedly conducted. The genre alternates between horror and thriller, but this feels like small potatoes compared to "Overlord" -- which also alternated between horror and thriller. "Trench 11" contains some good and some bad, but they're upstaged by an abundance of mediocrity.

2/4 

*Q, The Winged Serpent (1982) *is a B-movie directed by Larry Cohen and starring David Carradine, Michael Moriarty and Richard Roundtree. The titular monster is brought to life using stop motion animation and while it's never convincing, stop motion has a certain style that CGI lacks. "Q, The Winged Serpent" isn't the best example of this, but I thought 'Q' looked pretty cool. The narrative is a complete mess, possibly due to bad editing or possibly because the filmmakers lacked the funds to finish the feature. Yet "Q" is surprisingly gory and even more surprisingly -- the cast is very good! Moriarty in particular elevates the film with his committed performance.

2.5/4 

*Chawz (2009)* was released in South Korea under the title "Chow", but I like the western title a lot more because it fits the goofy tone of the movie. I LOVED "CHAWZ". It's a parody of "Jaws" and similar kinds of movies, but it's never condescending towards them. The quirky characters and their ridiculous situations kept me laughing, but the boar action kept me thrilled. Any problems? The CGI sometimes looks really bad, but it didn't derail the movie for me.

3.5/4


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## James Bond (Feb 2, 2019)

Anyone heard about Snyder's army of the dead? Got a bit of commotion when it was revealed the script had zombies raping and impregnating people which then produced human hybrid offspring


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## MartialHorror (Feb 2, 2019)

James Bond said:


> Anyone heard about Snyder's army of the dead? Got a bit of commotion when it was revealed the script had zombies raping and impregnating people which then produced human hybrid offspring



Yikes...

Say what you will about Snyder, but he does have some bizarre ideas... don't really want to see zombie rape though... and now I am remembering that I have seen zombie rape in other movies... eh...


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## James Bond (Feb 2, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> Yikes...
> 
> Say what you will about Snyder, but he does have some bizarre ideas... don't really want to see zombie rape though... and now I am remembering that I have seen zombie rape in other movies... eh...


It's a very edgy concept and even trying to imagine the "benefits" a human zombie hybrid would have that isn't already explored (in a much less edgy way) in iZombie.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 4, 2019)

GOT DEM INFORMAL REVIEWS FOR YA'LLZ -- okay, that's enough of that shit.

*The Devil's Carnival (2012)* is a short (less than an hour) musical directed by Darren Lynn Bousman ("Saw 2-4"), about lost souls navigating through hell -- which takes the form of a demented carnival. It's very strange and eccentric, definitely the type of film that is guaranteed a cult following. I didn't particularly like it, as the songs never connected with me and some of the fables just felt weaker than the others, but I understand its appeal. At the absolute least, this is Darren Lynn Bousman's most interesting movie.

2.5/4

*Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)* is... strange... The concept is unique and the cast -- who includes Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Toni Collette and John Malkovich -- are all in top form. They're playing eccentric, self-absorbed snobs who speak in such a stylized and elegant dialect of English that it almost becomes difficult to keep up with their conversations. But I was fascinated with their interactions and the world these characters inhabited. There's a lot of moments that leave you thinking "Huh?", "WTF?", "Why does this need to be here?", "WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?" and whether or not the director has a satisfying answer is irrelevant. This is the type of movie that's lampooning the idea of reading too deeply into an artform. Even though the characters are jerks, they are nuanced and have enough moments of humanity to keep you from actively wanting their deaths. There are some problems though, like how it sometimes feel like entire subplots and pivotal scenes have been removed. Also, was it just me, or did the horror scenes come off as underwhelming? The kills, suspense, thrills, chills and scares all felt incredibly routine to me, in contrast to the unusual, uniqueness of the rest of the movie.

Nevertheless, Dan Gilroy gave me a different experience and that's part of why I love him and netflix for giving him the platform. I think his biggest obstacle is that his directorial debut was "Nightcrawler", so everyone is inevitably disappointed when he doesn't make something on par with that.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 9, 2019)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - ""

Long before the Asylum discovered the appeal of 'mockbusters', Roger Corman was inspired by the upcoming arrival of Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park" to develop his own dinosaur movie -- "Carnosaur"! It was more-or-less the antithesis to "Jurassic Park", being low budgeted, gory, cynical and explicitly belonging to the horror genre. While it hardly was a box office smash, "Carnosaur" was profitable enough to earn two sequels. I myself developed an obsession over these movies as a kid, as there just was never anything like them. Some of these practical effects are very ambitious -- even if they aren't necessarily good -- and yet the movie still embraces its R-rating. But while there haven't been any 'formal' sequels since "Carnosaur 3", footage from the trilogy was harvested for other dinosaur thrillers, giving the franchise enough entries to quality for this review series, which includes --

- "Carnosaur (1993)"

- "Carnosaur 2 (1995)"

- "Carnosaur 3 (1996)"

- "Raptor (2001)" -- This is an unofficial sequel; stars Eric Roberts.

- "The Eden Formula (2006)" -- Another unofficial sequel; stars Tony Todd, Dee Wallace and Jeff Fahey.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 13, 2019)

*Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival (2016) *is the sequel to the bizarre "The Devil's Carnival" and it's... pretty much the same kind of movie, for better or worse? Oh wait, it is longer...so there's that... Once again, I respect the effort, imagination and passion that clearly went into this genre musical, but I just couldn't get invested into it. In fact, I was kind of bored. 

2/4 

*Venom (2018)* isn't the disaster that everyone said it was... but it also isn't an underappreciated effort either... It's definitely held back by an arsenal of shortcomings -- ranging from transparent, lazy exposition dumps to inconsistent characterizations to poorly defined relationships to poor special effects -- but we've seen these flaws so many times in other, better and worse, movies that it's hard to get angry at them anymore. Yet it's also held back by its... strengths? During the marketing campaign, I made efforts not to get angry at the film for being PG-13, as I think it's kind of unreasonable to expect a big budgeted comic book film to be Rated-R. Yet the movie kept teasing me with legitimately funny threats of violence, so knowing that there could be no pay-off to Venom's morbid musings because of the rating limitations, I was left with a serious case of cinematic blue balls. So the movie had its moments, but those moments made me long for something else... Good job? Still, for all of its problems -- the stinger was horrible, Tom Hardy sometimes looks embarrassed, the villain was lame, Venom's character development makes no damned sense and have I mentioned how horrible that stinger was? -- "Venom" is just kind of an ordinary, middling, bland cinematic experience that you can get with almost every other genre film out there...

2/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 14, 2019)

You need to see One Cut of the Dead. Low-budget Japanese horror comedy, with a unknown cast that just blew my mind. One of the coolest, funniest, most charming and most unique horror comedies made over the past 25-30 years. Incredible film!


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## MartialHorror (Feb 24, 2019)

Ok. But until then...

*The Tag-Along (2015)* is a Taiwanese ghost film that starts off relatively strong thanks to an interesting lore, an engaging cast and some genuinely creepy moments... but then lost me when bad, out-of-place CGI effects contaminated the horror and the story became about weird, moth things...

2.5/4
*
Cold Skin (2017)* is hard to describe... as it can be argued as belonging to the 'horror' genre, but it's not quite so simple... It's a tale of survival, lust and carnivorous fish people. I'm a fan of the winter setting and the cinematography is excellent; the cast (which includes Ray Stevenson) is in top form and is good dialogue to work with. The pacing is a little choppy and I think it's biggest problem is that it can't really commit to what it wants to be. Other than maybe H.P Lovecraft fans -- as this is obviously drawing inspiration from his works -- I don't know who I would recommend this too. But whatever it is, it's also quite elegantly made.

3/4

*The Black Mountain Side (2014)* isn't really a knock-off of "The Thing", but it does share a similar presentation and mood. I was really drawn in by the atmosphere, but the more and more we learn about what is happening, the sillier it seems. Yet I'm not really condemning the movie for its creative decisions, as they're appealingly bizarre... until the actual ending, which I will condemn. "The Black Mountain Side" had me on varying levels until its final conclusion, which was so unsatisfying that I found myself yelling at the screen.

3/4

I remember seeing *Kairo (Pulse) (2001)* during the wave of J-horror flicks that washed over the west and being unimpressed. "Why?" I now ask myself, because "Kairo" was pretty f@cking creepy. It builds its scares and spooky atmosphere into the slow pacing. There's something genuinely unsettling about this films theory of the afterlife and the fact that "Kairo" tackles Japan's high suicide rate, there's a sincerity to the characters despair that moved me. My only complaint is that I felt two of the female characters should've been combined, as the narrative relies on us caring about a relationship between two characters who barely know each-other.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 10, 2019)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - ""

Italian Horror was popular amongst genre fans throughout the 1970's and 1980's, with Dario Argento being one of its most prolific directors. His "Suspiria" might've been released to mixed reviews, but over the years it would be built up into a cult classic and is often regarded as Argento's best work -- perhaps even the best Italian horror export. Argento would eventually expand it into the 'Three Mothers' trilogy, although the sequels served mostly as standalone 'stories' with their own titles. Even though "Suspiria" doesn't have the brand recognition of other horror titles, its reputation was strong enough that talks of a remake swirled around for years, even though Italian Horror had long fallen out of favor with the masses. Eventually, Amazon Studios secured the rights and they chose to forgo the usual 'cash grab' remake in favor of something more avant-garde, directed by critical darling Luca Guadagnino ("Call Me By Your Name"). We will discuss all of these movies, why they all polarized audiences in different-yet-similar ways and whether or not "Suspiria" even counts as a real franchise for this review series, which includes --

- "Suspiria (1977)"

- "Inferno (1980)"

- "Mother of Tears (2007)"

- "Suspiria (2018)"


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## MartialHorror (Mar 19, 2019)

INFORMAL REVIEWS

*Secrets in the Hot Spring (2018)* is a Taiwanese horror-comedy and while I'm unfamiliar with this industry, this particular movie is very, very silly... but it's also pretty funny. Even when I rolled my eyes and groaned, I felt like that's part of what was supposed to be amusing about the experience. 

3/4

Brian De Palma's *Dressed to Kill (1980)* definitely has style and boasts a fantastic score, which accompanies some memorable visuals and very tense moments. But it's also very awkwardly paced and relies too much on a twist ending that's so amazingly obvious that part of me was wondering if it was too obvious for that to be the big reveal... except it was... It's kind of funny that the film is clearly a homage to a classic that I won't even mention as it would practically spoil the ending and yet suffers from a very similarly bad ending. Yet it does redeem itself with an admittedly effective jump scare, so the conclusion wasn't entirely bad. The acting is great, with Angie Dickinson somehow managing to be very likable and sympathetic even while cheating on her husband. The film in general is... weird when it comes to progressive issues. A case can be made that it's trans-phobic, but a case can also be made that it's not... There is one scene I would describe as racist, but it's also surprisingly respectful to sex workers. I don't think I would call "Dressed to Kill" a masterpiece or a classic, but it's definitely a cult classic. Brian De Palma makes a lot of misfires, but he's a fascinating director because even his mistakes have an artistry to them. "Dressed to Kill" is the embodiment of everything I like about his body of work; and everything I dislike about his body of work -- but it's good!

3/4 

*One Dark Night (1982)* is a surprisingly spooky little chiller from the 1980's that was sometimes derided as a "Poltergeist" rip-off, even though it actually went into development first. The pacing slow and yes, "One Dark Night" nearly drowns in some cheesy acting and writing at times. But it does build up a creepy-yet-fun kind of atmosphere that culminates in a great, practical effects heavy finale. I love that the movie manages to be gross, without being gory. The only reason it doesn't secure a 3/4 star rating is that the transfer I watched was frustrating. It kept lagging and glitching, putting a bit of a damper on the experience.  

2.5/4 

*The Interview (1998)* is a very, VERY compelling murder mystery that almost completely takes place within the confines of an interrogation room. Most of the suspense is built around the mystery that is Hugo Weaving's protagonist... or antagonist? Is he a killer? Or is a victim of police brutality? The acting is phenomenal (this is Weaving's best role) and I was always on the edge of my seat; always desperate to know where it would go... The ending is a little unsatisfying though. I understand what it was aiming for, but it just felt unfinished to me. That doesn't keep it from being great!

3.5/4 

*What Have You Done to Solange? (1972)* is a giallo that like many of its kind, is armed with stylish direction, experimental cinematography, a haunting score and mean spirited kills. Many view this to be one of the genres finest contributions, but while I enjoyed it, I found the characters too unsympathetic and the mystery too predictable/uninvolving to share the same enthusiasm. Still a solid example of the genre though! 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 5, 2019)

*Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (2009)* left a bad taste in my mouth. With a title like this, you'd think it's going to be silly, bloody, fun, but the actual movie is shockingly grim and depressing... yet also silly? Tonally, there seems to be some effort at making this a tongue-in-cheek slasher, so who thought a f@cking rape scene would fit here? The acting isn't good, although to be fair, the majority of the cast appear to be speaking English as a second language. Of course, the ONE actress who impressed me is also the one whose character is sexually assaulted... twice... and portrays the accompanying trauma very convincingly, making the mayhem surrounding her that much more awkward to behold. Everyone else is presented as unlikable, unpleasant and unintelligent, often to the point of functioning as wet blankets for the film. I just did not enjoy myself because the lackluster attempts at humor derailed the drama, while the drama kept the splatter from being fun. I got so tired of watching the characters be horrible to the point that I almost found myself wishing they'd die off-screen so that I wouldn't have to see them again; and their deaths were often not worth them being in the movie at all. The ending left me INCREDIBLY unsatisfied, as there are so many unanswered questions -- especially surrounding the Japanese girl -- and once again, it's a downer in the worst possible way.  For what it's worth, "Whale Watching Massacre" is surprisingly well-made for a low budgeted slasher. The music and cinematography are suitably moody, some of the set pieces are ambitious and the kills showcase some impressively gruesome practical effects. I feel like this is a 2-star movie, but it was a bad experience for me personally, so...

1.5/4 

*Abraham Lincoln Vs Zombies (2012)* is the mockbuster cash-in on "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" from everybody's favorite horrible studio -- the Asylum. It's pretty funny how "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" was a flop, but "Abraham Lincoln Vs Zombies" was produced in the expectation that it would be a success and somehow ended up being one of the Asylum's best works. NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG, the movie is still incredibly cheap looking, but considering the high concept... they did a solid job with their very limited funds. The story embraces its absurd concept by screwing around with history and filling the script with all sorts of anachronisms... so John Wilkes Booth was apparently part of the Union Secret Service, tasked with zombie hunting... okay... Bill Oberst Jr. is surprisingly good at the titular Lincoln and gets some funny lines that he somehow delivers with the utmost sincerity ("Emancipate this!"). The ending is... exactly how you figure a movie with Abraham Lincoln and zombies is going to end... but how they get to that point was kind of lame. I'm not the biggest fan of the Asylum, but this can be a good time if you're in the right mind for it, especially when alcohol and buddies are involved.  

2/4

*Sherlock Holmes (2010)* is another mockbuster from the Asylum, designed to trick audiences who think they're renting... "Sherlock Holmes"! The one with Robert Downy jr! This time, Sherlock Holmes is hunting a killer who may or may not be Jack the Ripper... who is also a dinosaur?! To complete the Robert Downy Jr. cycle, the movie also seems to be cashing in on "Iron Man" too... Once again, they do a fair job at minimizing the low budget, considering the high concept. The acting is bad, but at least the cast is having fun, which is a little contagious. Interestingly, this version of Holmes stands out because it's probably the nicest incarnation of the character that I've ever seen... These days, Sherlock Holmes is portrayed as a difficult man to be around, plagued by all sorts of mental disorders -- an exaggeration of the source material. But this one is a nice guy, which is kind of strange... Eventually, the narrative runs out of steam and I grew a little bored, but once again... as for as Asylum productions go, this is one of the better ones.

2/4

*The Vanishing (2018)* isn't really a horror movie as much as it's a suspense thriller, which is a little surprising considering how it surrounds the real-life disappearances of three light house keepers in the early 1900's... The real story just seems like it's tailor made to be a horror flick and bizarrely, this 'what if' scenario downplays or outright removes the stranger elements of the case. I thought this was very good though, as the cast convey mental deterioration and growing paranoia convincingly, while both the music and cinematography keep audiences on edge. I was on the edge of my seat!

3.5/4 

*The Searching (2018)* is the only movie to utilize social media to tell its story without being annoying... In fact, this was one of the best films of 2018, not only being a suspenseful, nerve wracking thriller... but hitting so many more emotional highs and lows that make this such a well rounded experience. I was nearly driven to tears. EXCELLENT performance from John Cho, who is likely the reason why all of this worked.

4/4 

I was in the mood for some trashy, old school animation and *Lily C.A.T (1987)* seemed designed to satisfy those cravings... which it didn't, although it gave me a taste of what I wanted out of it... The anime OVA/movie is a blatant rip-off of "Alien" and "The Thing", but while it has good atmosphere, it's too short on story or character to really leave an impression. Most of the kills are off-screen too, so it was just hard to care about any of this. 

2/4   

A lot of people are expressing disappointment in "*Us (2019)*" because it's not "Get Out", but why would you enter the theater with such lofty expectations? You're just hurting yourself.

I personally loved the movie. Much like "Get Out", it does a great job at crawling underneath your skin and building tension using eccentric methods. The music -- both the orchestral score and the dark remix of "I got 5 on it" -- kept me continuously on edge. Once again, Jordan Peele relies a lot on his cast, who are very easy to root for and they convey fear in such a way that it rubbed off on me. Because "Us" has a bigger budget, the imagery is a lot more ambitious, although it's up to you whether it has a deeper meaning or is just designed to look cool. The script might be messier in comparison to "Get Out", but "Us" has a more grandiose visual style.

Lupita Nyong'o is phenomenal and is a part of why the suspense works so well, because she sells the audience on her fear. But her dual role as 'Red' was interesting because at first, I wasn't sure I could take it seriously. Her raspy voice seemed kind of silly... but by the end of her first monologue, I was thoroughly creeped out. Her performance will haunt me for awhile. Some have complained about the twist, but I thought it mostly worked. My only real complaint is near the ending, someone explains everything and I couldn't figure out how he or she would know this. It's also a little tonally confused, as some of the funnier moments -- which admittedly made me laugh -- did stick out awkwardly amidst all of the tension. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2019)

*Deep Red (1975)* might not be Dario Argento's most famous movie, but it might be his best, perfecting the formula that he began with "The Bird with Crystal Plumage". Like every Argento feature, the movie sports inventive direction, stylish cinematography, mean spirited kills and an eccentric score by Goblin... unlike every Argento feature, this actually has compelling characters, an intriguing mystery and absolutely no downtime. Sure, it has the usual contrivances that seem to accompany the genre, but it also boasts one of the most simple, stupid, clever and awesome twists that I've ever seen. The suspense is nerve wracking thanks to the exceptional use of sound and the cast convey fear so convincingly that it becomes contagious. David Hemmings in particular REALLY sells the audience on the danger he's in. As much as I adore the more popular "Suspiria", I think this is the better film/

4/4 

*The Nun (2018)* might eventually become part of a 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' review series, but something about critiquing "The Conjuring" as a franchise... just... frustrates me... maybe because it would be a challenge explaining the order of these films? I've enjoyed most of them though and even though the harsh reception warned me to lower my expectations for "The Nun", I thought it was reasonably entertaining. The movie swims in bleak, gothic atmosphere and the cast does OK with their OK characters. The dialogue is lame though because the characters are talking as if it's the Victorian era... even though it's not taking place in that time period... and the finale gets pretty stupid. I also HATED the use of footage from "The Conjuring 2", as it shows the Nun in clear view... while the rest of the movie hides her in shadows... and it ruins a rather spooky introduction for the character. Yet in spite of the flaws, the creepy visuals and swift pacing kept me invested. 

2.5/4 
*
Cast a Deadly Spell (1991)* is stylized after the 1940's wave of film noir, where a gumshoe private eye (Fred Ward) is tasked with finding an item that will inevitably lead into intrigue, sex and murder... except the gimmick is that magic exists and is commonplace -- including but not limited to spells, vampires, werewolves, gremlins, gargoyles and Lovecraftian abominations -- SERIOUSLY, HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THIS!? Even though it's not a horror flick, there are some good and shockingly gory practical effects, accompanied by dark humor and genuine tension. You know how 1940's film noir LOVED using rain to showcase the protagonists state of mind? In "Catch a Deadly Spell", when it rains, it pours... blood... F@cking blood rain! That is so f@cking awesome! The movie certainly has flaws, but "Cast a Deadly Spell" makes up for them with lots and lots of personality. I had a blast! This can currently be viewed on HBO's streaming service -- "HBO NOW". 

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Apr 29, 2019)

Uep, Cast a Deadly Spell is excellent. Highly recommend its sequel Witch Hunt too.


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2019)

I've been debating whether or not I wanted to write up a 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' review series on "The Purge", but decided I wanted to distance myself from more recent and active franchises... but that won't stop me from watching new entries or writing about them here. "*The First Purge (2018)*" is an 'origins story', detailing the first purge and it's... OK... as all of these movies have been... It is interesting seeing this film series develop, as filmmakers expand on what people like and move on from what people don't care for, meaning that these sequels no longer resemble the original film -- even though they clearly take place within the same universe. Yet they've all been guilty of both wasting potential and suffering from delusions of grandeur, even though you got to love how hard the filmmakers are trying to give audiences a unique experience. This isn't like the "Paranormal Activity", "Saw", "Insidious" or "The Conjuring" franchises, which can (and often have) coasted off formulas. "The Purge" always seems to be trying to adapt and evolve, which I genuinely respect.

"*The First Purge*" is at its best during the early stages of the titular event, as the slow burn pacing really does craft a spooky atmosphere. The shots of the mostly-empty streets were chilling, highlighted by the occasional psycho who shows up to look menacing (and they do!). It's when the movie starts becoming more action oriented that the tone gets a little too hokey, although some of the acting should've tipped me off that "*The First Purge*" isn't above being campy. But I was never entirely sure whether or not I should be taking it seriously, as if it was supposed to be silly, then the political commentary deflates the humor... but it is still kind of silly. The politics feel very exploitative here, with the shots at Donald Trump being so transparent and lame that I nearly turned the movie off at one point. I personally don't think the filmmakers really understand the political landscape of today, even though they're cashing in on it. The acting is hit-or-miss, although I did like the characters well enough. Y'lan Noel is a compelling leading man and I'd love to see the franchise built around him, except the problem is that it can't... as this is a prequel and you know that whether they live, die, kill the bad guys or not, the Purge will continue until for at least a few decades later. Sequels will feel hollow because you know the heroes have to fail for the original film to even happen. Overall, I did enjoy this more than "The Purge" and maybe even "The Purge: Election Year", although I'd probably favor "The Purge: Anarchy" as "the best" of the saga... even though all of these movies are pretty close in quality -- for better or worse.

2.5/4

*The Squad (2011)* is a military-themed horror flick from Colombia, often being referred to by its original title -- "*El Paramo*". I've said this many times before, but I'm partial towards military-themed horror and "*The Squad*" is definitely one of the more atmospheric examples of its kind. The locations are creepy, the use of sound is creepier, the cinematography is... er, creepiest? The filmmakers know that they have a good setting and concept, so milk it for all its worth... perhaps a little too much. If I wasn't being creeped out, I was growing impatient and wishing that the movie would hurry its ass up. A large part of this is the characters aren't really all that likable or interesting, even the ones who face the bigger moral quandaries and have sympathetic backstories. The movie spends so much time being creepy that it doesn't do a good job at selling the various characters descent into madness, even though "_The Squad_" does have some great ideas that are least adequately executed. It's an uneven experience, but I'll happily take it.

2.5/4
*
Escape Room (2019)* might have a concept that's a little too reminiscent of "Cube" and "Saw", but it's more of a thriller than a horror film, focusing more on the puzzles than gruesome deaths -- which I was cool with, as I felt less compelled to compare it to other (better) films. "*Escape Room*" gets by with cool set pieces and gimmicks surrounding its production design, which consistently kept me distracted from the bad dialogue, the questionable acting, the stupid writing and the predictable "reveals". I was entertained enough to not regret watching it, even though "*Escape Room*" ultimately did lose me with its lame ending. It's a perfectly adequate home viewing experience, especially if it ever becomes available on a streaming service you have access too.

2/4

*The Tomb (2004)* was one of Bruno Mattei's final films before his passing in 2007 and for the first 30 minutes, I was convinced I was watching one of the worst movies of all time. I changed my mind because of in spite of its excessive badness, you could tell that the filmmakers were trying to craft a fun Indiana Jones-inspired horror feature... even if they couldn't afford it. To me, the worst movies of all time are the ones where you can tell no one was trying to overcome their presumably limited resources and so they become obnoxiously boring. This was more ambitious than it needed to be, so I applaud the effort. Of course, "*The Tomb*" still sucks thanks to its atrocious... everything... The acting, dubbing and dialogue are comically bad at best, frustratingly terrible at worst. Bruno Mattei's attempts to make scenes scary are unintentionally funny at best, slightly less amusing at worst. The production values are beneath the standards of direct-to-television, with some of the props looking like Halloween decorations, but sometimes I laughed. Unfortunately, what keeps this from being 'so bad, it's good' is that the characters are annoying and every second you spend with them is testicular cancer. I used to thrive off this kind of trash, but now? I'm getting too old for this shit. Bruno Mattei has done worse, but he's also done better... and better at being worse... I debated whether this was a 1/4 star experience, but then I remembered the hero attempting to kick a demon, which F@CKING DOES A FLIP TO DODGE and decided to be just a little nicer. It really does deserve the lower rating though.

1.5/4

Now even though this is not a horror franchise, I'm also promoting my new Compulsive Franchise Disorder review series on the "Ernest" franchise. It does at least contain a horror movie though.

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - ""

The character of Ernest P. Worrell (played to Jim Varney) might've been forgotten by younger viewers over the years, but he was a stable of my generation's collective childhood. He was like the weird - yet fun - uncle, whom are parents never wanted around the house. We loved watching him clumsily cause mayhem, make funny faces, use silly voices and get routinely abused in cartoonish ways, yet once we remove those nostalgia goggles... we realize that his movies were reviled by critics and were only financially successful because they were so cheap to produce.

I myself learned that Ernest was conceived as a local T.V advertising gimmick, but his popularity grew to a national level, leading to him becoming a "movie star". There was also a TV show I had never heard about, titled "Hey Vern, it's Ernest". I was also aghast to discover that the majority of this film series were direct-to-video releases... and that many more projects were in development when Jim Varney passed away... and that Ernest's real-life creator, John Cherry, misguidedly attempted to keep the character alive after Varney's death... This marathon was a very educational experience for me, even though I thought I grew up with these movies.

But how does one return to the world of Ernest without being blinded by nostalgia or setting aflame happy childhood memories? Were these films unfairly condemned? Has the franchise been vindicated by history? Or were they only popular because us kids lacked quality control? Were they a simply a phase we like to pretend never happened? We discuss this and more for the Compulsive Franchise Disorder review series of the Ernest saga, which includes --

- "Doctor Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam (1986)"

- "Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)"

- "Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)"

- "Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)"

- "Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)"

- "Ernest Rides Again (1993)"

- "Ernest Goes to School (1994)"

- "Slam Dunk Ernest (1995)"

- "Ernest Goes to Africa (1997)"

- "Ernest in the Army (1998)"


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## MartialHorror (May 31, 2019)

*1922 (2017)* is a netflix adaptation of one of Stephen King's less famous novella's, yet it's still one of the best! This is one of those movies that keeps audiences in a perpetual state of discomfort, with most of the tension coming from the (exceptional) performances. The slow burn pacing might turn away those who prefer more traditional horror by King, but "1922" really is more about bleak atmosphere and unease than thrills. Yet there is some f@cked up imagery and the story is actually quite strong, so I think "1922" deserves more recognition as one of the better Stephen King adaptations... even if it's not the kind I'd necessarily want to revisit. 

3.5/4 

*The Tag-Along 2 (2017) *is generally regarded as an inferior sequel to "The Tag Along", the Taiwanese horror flick modeled after J-Horror... that was pretty average itself... Yet I actually prefer this, even though it suffers from most of the typical trappings of sequels, its predecessor, the entire genre and bad writing in general... I definitely agree that it's technically a step down, yet it makes enough bold, bizarre creative choices that unlike the first one, this actually stands out amongst the crowd. I barely can remember "The Tag-Along", even though I think I enjoyed it more often than not, but I'll definitely remember "The Tag-Along 2", even though I'm not sure I enjoyed it more often than not...

2.5

*Creepshow 2 (1987)* isn't as bad as its reputation suggests, but it's not very good either. I think "Creepshow" is a little on the overrated side, but even I'll admit that it was a handsomely produced anthology that was clearly crafted by skill, inspiration and enthusiasm. This sequel feels like it was created to fulfill contract obligations or something, as it looks cheaper and feels strangely lethargic, even though it recreates some of the eccentric quirks of its predecessor. But at no point did I feel like it had the same energy or inspiration, although to its credit, I didn't think any of the shorts were bad either -- something the first can't even boast. I've always heard that "The Raft" was pretty good, but while it's probably the best, its sudden descent into cheap sleaze and stupid writing kind of torpedoed the enjoyment. But I thought all three short stories were watchable, if not especially thrilling and the wraparound animated segment was suitably weird. 

2/4 

*Knights of Badassdom (2013)* is a horror-comedy that has a lot of talent both behind and in front of the camera, yet never really feels as good as it should be. There are some fun moments, but the humor doesn't land enough to make it consistently funny. The gore is alright. The practical effects are well done, although those kills are a little too similar... while the more creative deaths rely on bad CGI. I did like the climactic monster, which is cheesy, but in a way I found to be cool. I just wish it was funnier, especially as the concept (demons vs... larpers?) is a riot on its own. 

2/4 

*The Super (2017)*... shockingly, is not a comic book movie... Even though it's hard to get excited for a direct-to-DVD horror film starring Val Kilmer, this wasn't bad. The cinematography and acting is above average, with Val Kilmer turning in such a campy, bizarre performance that transcends good or bad. I love this kind of Val Kilmer! The plot is fairly interesting, even though you spend most of it wanting to backhand the kids for either being bratty and hostile all the time, or being stupid enough to wander away down dark corridors... Unfortunately, the ending was f@cking dumb, even though it seems to think it's being clever. That sort of deflated the entire experience for me. 

2/4

and finally for a more formal review...

*Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)* is the sequel to both "Godzilla (2014)" and "Kong: Skull Island", but is it a worthy King?


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 1, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> "*The First Purge*" is at its best during the early stages of the titular event, as the slow burn pacing really does craft a spooky atmosphere. The shots of the mostly-empty streets were chilling, highlighted by the occasional psycho who shows up to look menacing (and they do!). It's when the movie starts becoming more action oriented that the tone gets a little too hokey, although some of the acting should've tipped me off that "*The First Purge*" isn't above being campy. But I was never entirely sure whether or not I should be taking it seriously, as if it was supposed to be silly, then the political commentary deflates the humor... but it is still kind of silly. The politics feel very exploitative here, with the shots at Donald Trump being so transparent and lame that I nearly turned the movie off at one point. I personally don't think the filmmakers really understand the political landscape of today, even though they're cashing in on it. The acting is hit-or-miss, although I did like the characters well enough. Y'lan Noel is a compelling leading man and I'd love to see the franchise built around him, except the problem is that it can't... as this is a prequel and you know that whether they live, die, kill the bad guys or not, the Purge will continue until for at least a few decades later. Sequels will feel hollow because you know the heroes have to fail for the original film to even happen. Overall, I did enjoy this more than "The Purge" and maybe even "The Purge: Election Year", although I'd probably favor "The Purge: Anarchy" as "the best" of the saga... even though all of these movies are pretty close in quality -- for better or worse.
> 
> 2.5/4


The politics feel very exploitative here, with the shots at Donald Trump being so transparent and lame that I nearly turned the movie off at one point. I personally don't think the filmmakers really understand the political landscape of today, even though they're cashing in on it.

Name the artists who you think are best at understanding the current political landscape and incorporating it into their art.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 1, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> The politics feel very exploitative here, with the shots at Donald Trump being so transparent and lame that I nearly turned the movie off at one point. I personally don't think the filmmakers really understand the political landscape of today, even though they're cashing in on it.
> 
> Name the artists who you think are best at understanding the current political landscape and incorporating it into their art.



Rian Johnson


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 1, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> Rian Johnson


If you don't wish to give a real answer you don't have to say anything.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 1, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> If you don't wish to give a real answer you don't have to say anything.



lol, the problem with the question is that I don't think anyone -- or at least anyone I can think of at the moment -- is consistently on the money with it. "BlackKklansman" handled its political commentary well, I thought, but the few movies I've seen from Spike Lee from the past 5 years have either not been political or I felt they were misguided.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 1, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, the problem with the question is that I don't think anyone -- or at least anyone I can think of at the moment -- is consistently on the money with it. "BlackKklansman" handled its political commentary well, I thought, but the few movies I've seen from Spike Lee from the past 5 years have either not been political or I felt they were misguided.


So it's better to not to even try...


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## MartialHorror (Jun 1, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> So it's better to not to even try...



It's something that is and will always be tricky.

The original Godzilla, for example, was initially regarded as tasteless for its politics... and now it's regarded as a masterpiece. 

"Get Out" was acclaimed for it. "Us"... not so much... although part of that might just be because of expectations. 

I always believe that inspiration should follow inspiration, so if a filmmaker wants to do politics in their movie, go for it... but how it's handled will vary from film to film. 

"Jurassic World 2" and "The First Purge" made their points by quoting Donald Trump, which I think is just kind of lazy and lacks a substantial context. "Gotham" handled it  better with Penguin saying something like "Make Gotham great again", because there was context for it.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 2, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> I always believe that inspiration should follow inspiration, so if a filmmaker wants to do politics in their movie, go for it... but how it's handled will vary from film to film.


As long as it's the right politics...

Am i right?


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## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> As long as it's the right politics...
> 
> Am i right?



lol, that's you who cares about that shit.

Left wing or right wing, I don't really care as long as they're handled well.


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 2, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> lol, that's you who cares about that shit.
> 
> Left wing or right wing, I don't really care as long as they're handled well.


That is why you defended TLJ as everything going as planned, an expected success?


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## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> That is why you defended TLJ as everything going as planned, an expected success?



... What?

@Shiba D. Inu I need a translator!


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Jun 2, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> ... What?
> 
> @Shiba D. Inu I need a translator!


Or some sort of backup...


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## MartialHorror (Jun 2, 2019)

Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard said:


> Or some sort of backup...



For what? I'm not even sure what this debate is supposed to be about, as it stemmed from me criticizing a movie with a leftist agenda for its poorly thought out leftist agenda.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 22, 2019)

*Gremlins (1984)* is one of those childhood favorites that I saw so many times as a kid, I've never felt the need to revisit it as an adult. Nevertheless, netflix was streaming it so... why not? There were a few eye brow raising aspects that I never noticed as a kid, like how characters seem to unceremoniously vanish after so much time is spent introducing them (Judge Reinhold?), but the movie is still funny -- often in a darkly humorous kind of way -- and somehow finds that "family friendly" horror sweet spot... er, in the context of the 1980's. Some of the content is probably too edgy for modern audiences, but it has a good balance of comedy and horror. The special effects are amazing and hold up to this day.

3.5/4

*Rammbock (2010)* is a German zombie film, but I admire it more than I like it. It's one of those films where you can tell that the filmmakers had very little resources to work with, but makes the most of it and "Rammbock" has more heart and imagination than one would expect from a low budgeted genre film. But I can't say it's great, as I found the characters to be partially frustrating, partially boring and the story doesn't always capitalize on its set-ups. It's more of a character driven zombie flick too, so when I'm not invested in the characters' personal lives, the viewing experience will leave me feeling a little emotionally detached. Still, not a bad film though.

2.5/4
*
The Raven (1963) *is not a horror flick, even though though it's directed by Roger Corman (back when he was interested in quality), stars Vincent Price, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, Hazel Court and a young Jack Nicholson (most of whom are icons of horror) and shares a lot of the same Gothic setting as the other Edgar Allen Poe adaptations from the same cast/crew, which are horror flicks. "The Raven" blends comedy and fantasy, but the jokes seem kind of lame in the context of today and the special effects are pretty crude. Yet I still highly enjoyed myself because the cast is awesome and their collective chemistry and snappy dialogue keeps every scene afloat. The effects might be bad, but when Karloff and Price are engaging in a duel of magic, you'll be paying more attention to them, not the light show that surrounds them. This isn't my favorite Edgar Allen Poe adaptation of this time... in fact, I probably favor this less than the other Corman/Price flicks... but it's still a good time

3/4

*Cannibal! The Musical (1993)* might struggle with its low budget, but it's so strange and wickedly funny that I think I'll have to revisit this from time to time. Once again, it's not really a horror film, but it does embrace schlock at times, has a few great musical numbers and showcases a lot of the same kind of humor that the filmmakers would later bring to "South Park". My only real issue with it was how too much ends up happening off-screen.

3/4 (maybe 3.5/4?)

I turned *The Pyramid (2013)* off because even though it had bad reviews on imdb, I think pyramid settings would be perfect for a horror film. Much to my horror -- the only horror I would experience... outside of the bad writing and worse lighting, this is about an evil Pyramid figurine that drives people insane. I wanted a horror movie that took place inside a pyramid, but I got a movie about a demonic pyramid TOY instead. I stopped watching once I realized the deception. If you want a TRUE Pyramid horror film... that also sucks... watch that other "The Pyramid".
*
The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears (2013) *is one of those avant-garde arthouse flicks stylized after gialli, from the same filmmakers behind "Amer". As expected, the cinematography and music are incredible and it's shocking how imaginative and inspired the direction can be. However... don't expect a real story. There is dialogue, but the narrative unfolds through provocative imagery. It's slow paced to the point of boring if this isn't your kind of movie and while I respect the artistry on display here, it's really not my kind of movie.

2/4

and currently in theaters --

"*Child's Play (2019)*" is one of those rare remakes that actually can justify its existence by trying something new with its original concept. Even though I kind of grew up with this franchise, I don't know if I feel any real intense passion or loyalty towards it. As a kid, I was fond of the first three films, but I've been afraid to revisit them because I've had too many bad experiences with nostalgia. I remember being disappointed with "Bride of Chucky", although I have to admit that I was put off my the sillier tone and I'd probably enjoy it more now. I was one of the few people who watched "Seed of Chucky" in theaters and whatever enjoyment I got out of it was upstaged by the embarrassment of literally being the only one in the theater... I was uninterested when the franchise continued on the small screen, only for my sister to more-or-less force me into watching them and... HOLY SHIT, "Curse of Chucky" and "Cult of Chucky" were shockingly good. I was so impressed that I was also aghast when the remake was announced, as the franchise seemed to be better than ever. Yet I was gradually won over by the imaginative and clever marketing campaign... and the idea of a more technology-based Chucky offered a lot of opportunities that the original franchise would be unable to explore -- not to mention felt more in line with the "Black Mirror" audience of today.

But is the movie good? HMMMMMMMM, it's better than most people would expect. I don't know if I'd call it "good" though, because it's too short to really leave an impact and yet it's too slow paced for the thrills to keep us distracted from the "questionable" writing. The cast is good and I found myself enjoying all of their chemistry, with plenty of funny dialogue and reactions to go around. I often laughed, even if "Child's Play" is a little tonally confused. At times, it seems to want to be "Black Mirror". Other times it wants to be "Stranger Things". Other times it's a campy throwback to 1980's horror. With that said, this is just me being a critic and acknowledging a potential flaw, as I personally didn't take issue with the tone. I just don't think the movie had any aspirations outside of being "fun", so would adopt any tone that keep the entertainment level consistent. I was often amused, yet "Child's Play" is also creepy and intense when it wants to be. I thought the new incarnation of Chucky was pretty effective, as this is less Charles Lee Ray and more Hal from "2001: A Space Odyssey". The facial expressions on this thing were amazing, as there's always something uncanny about Chucky's smile -- even before it becomes sinister. It was cool seeing his evolution, as near the end, he's almost as animated as a human and it's pretty freaky.

The kills are good, although I was a little disappointed that they're surprisingly standard considering how Chucky can hack into seemingly every form of technology. I would say that for the most part, his methods of murder really aren't THAT much different than what he did before. Even when the movie does utilize its concept, it usually ends with a good ole stabbing session. This really built up to a surprisingly bland finale, where the movie seems afraid to show too much on-screen mayhem. To make matters worse, it wasn't that long ago I saw "Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich", which had similar scenes that weren't afraid to take the spectacle farther. Nerveless, the cast is still able to keep it afloat and "Child's Play" is surprisingly polished, in spite of its low budget. The lighting, editing, performances, etc. are good, even -- no, ESPECIALLY -- the kids. I completely sympathized with Andy and even his angst didn't get on my nerves. He showcased great comedic timing and sold me on the drama. Mark Hamill's chucky is so different than Brad Dourif's that I don't feel compelled to compare them, but his voice-acting has the perfect blend of "Aw, this is kind of cute" to "okay, that's pretty weird" to "KILL IT WITH FIRE".

So would I recommend it? Sure, if it sounds appealing to you. Obviously you need to be a slasher fan, a killer doll fan or a "Child's Play" fan who is willing to accept a remake. Part of me was hoping for something more, sort of like how everyone seemed to hope "Brightburn" would be something more than what it ultimately was, but that's arguably more on us than the movie. "Child's Play" is in the end, a killer doll movie and this new technological gimmick used to bring Chucky to life is... well, just that, a gimmick used to bring him to life. Don't expect any thought provoking commentary on modern technology. Don't expect greatness. Don't expect clever writing. Don't expect to remember anything about this a year from now. Expect an entertaining slasher flick and you will have a good time.

Er, this review was longer than I meant it to be... Forgive the wall of text.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 5, 2019)

*Black Magic (1975)* might be a Shaw Brothers production and might be headlined by martial arts stars Ti Lung and Lo Lieh, but it's not a kung fu flick in the slightest. This is actually a difficult movie to categorize, as bounces back and forth between horror, fantasy and eroticism, without ever truly committing to any of those. There is a lot of macabre imagery though and "Black Magic" doesn't shy away from sex or nudity. The cinematographer uses a lot of techniques which were popular in the 1970's and they really do add to the films' atmosphere, which straddles the line between unsettling and sexy. Because of the 1970's fashions and stylistic flourishes, the bad special effects are a little more palatable as they're very much products of the time. The story is convoluted and sometimes repetitive, yet it did usually keep my interest. If I have any real problem with "Black Magic", it's that the heroic characters are all really, REALLY boring compared to their villainous counterparts. This apparently was very influential in the exploitation wave that would eventually dominate the Hong Kong industry, but this is classier than most of those... while also being very schlocky itself. 

3/4  
*
The Hazing (2004)*, also known as "Dead Scared", is a fun little horror-comedy modeled after "Evil Dead" and especially "Night of the Demons". The cast is all surprisingly likeable, with even the characters who would usually be annoying or mean all having their moments to shine. The gore is messy and the humor was amusing, with the only real downside being some awful chroma key effects. Now that I think about it, "The Hazing" can function as either a good throwback to 1980's horror... or 1990's horror, with the self referential humor. 

3/4 

*Eko Eko Azarak II: Birth of the Wizard (1996)* has a bigger budget than its predecessor, so gets a few action set pieces and more elaborate gore effects, but somehow the story is even sloppier. Luckily, it doesn't really matter as "Birth of the Wizard" is aiming more for schlock than story, so... it balances itself out? There is one really awesome kill where a character gets their face ripped off... and there plenty of other cool death scenes too, yet I'd argue that it's really Kimika Yoshino's performance as Misa which holds everything together.There are times when the narrative slows down for too long, yet I can't say I was bored because she's so captivating... and she's able to sell me on the nonsense masquerading as a story. In hindsight, its predecessor -- "Eko Eko Azarak: Wizard of Darkness" -- also overcame its shortcomings primarily because of her. 

3/4 

*Death Ship (1980)* has all the makings to be a horror classic... a creepy, isolated and somewhat unique location... a stellar cast, who includes George Kennedy and Richard Crenna... a hauntingly ominous score... creative, stylish direction... atmospheric cinematography. So why does this misfire? You can tell everyone involved, from the actors to the technicians, are trying their hardest to make everything work. This isn't a lazy movie, but I wouldn't be surprised if the script was eviscerated shortly before (or during) production because they ran out of money. The second half is where everything comes undone, where the characters cease making any sense and the narrative becomes increasingly abstract, as if whole reels were lost and they had to scramble to fix everything in post. One can argue that "Death Ship" was striving for the same surrealism that Italian horror excelled at during this time period, but this doesn't ever reach the same level of catharsis. It needed to either be gorier, scarier... or at least cohesive... 

2/4 

*A Dark Song (2016)* is one of those few horror flicks that boasts a pretty solid story. A woman hires a mean spirited occultist to perform a grueling, months long ritual that can grant them one wish if they do it right... or kill them... or maybe it's all bullshit and he's exploiting her... or maybe she's just crazy... "A Dark Song" does a stellar job of making all of these possibilities seem likely, so much of the suspense is built around not really knowing what's lurking around the corner. The rest surrounds the growing hostility between its two leads, allowing the actors to really shine in their roles. "A Dark Song" is definitely a slow burner, designed for more patient horror fans... but I will admit that it reaches a point where its limited production values start to become a problem. It is still a pretty solid pay-off though, even if "A Dark Song" is at its scariest when relying upon our imaginations. 

3/4 

*Frontier(s) (2007)* was part of the French new wave of horror that rocked the genre throughout the decade, but while this gained more notoriety than a lot of them, it's far from the best. The concept sounds cool -- violent thieves stumble upon a clan of cannibal Nazi's, but "Frontier(s)" doesn't really take advantage of it, as most of the thieves are quickly incapacitated and it becomes a standard "chase" thriller. These characters could've easily just been horny teenagers looking to score drugs and it wouldn't changed anything, so why make them into assholes we're not entirely sure deserve to live? "No One Lives" is for the most part an inferior film, but at least it embraces its "Evil encounters a worse evil" scenario. Furthermore, why did the Nazi's have to be Nazi's? Or Cannibals? "Frontier(s)" doesn't really do much with either of those gimmicks. I think there was supposed to be a political message, but it's also just kind of surface level stuff. I'm also not the biggest fan of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" clones, so "Frontier(s)" is just continuously fighting an uphill battle with me. 

This isn't to say that "Frontier(s)" is a bad or even subpar film though. The acting is really good and one of the harshest aspects of French horror is its obsession with putting its cast through the ringer. They often look like they're being abused and put in uncomfortable situations, which does play a big part in building up that tension. You never entirely know how f@cked up a French horror flick is going to be, which means anyone can potentially die... and they can die horribly... The violence is intense, mean spirited and very convincing. Even though "Frontier(s)" is no "Martyrs", "Haute Tension" or "Inside", it's definitely made for that same crowd. 

2.5/4     
*
Rampant (2018)* is a South Korean... zombie... martial arts... period piece!? F@CK YEAH! This movie has it all -- comedy, drama, action, horror, intrigue, lavish looking sets and flashy costumes as befitting of their time period. "Rampant" does a good job at making their zombies surprisingly menacing, while using them to choreographic stylish battles. The production values are top notch too, making this one of the more expensive looking zombie flicks out there. I really enjoyed the genre mashup and even the political intrigue fit snugly amidst all of this zombie mayhem.

3.5/4

*Bat Without Wings (1980)* is a strange kung fu... murder mystery/horror flick?! YES! MY TWO NAMESAKE GENRES HAVE UNITED AT LAST TO MAKE... this... "Bat Without Wings" is an unusual example of the genre, as it's campy to the point where it's often hard to take seriously -- the villain's makeup is supposed to be menacing, but he looks like he's a KISS fan. Yet it does have some genuinely chilling moments and sometimes it finds the perfect blend of campy and creepy, such as when a dead woman seemingly haunts her relatives. "Bat Without Wings" is often very atmospheric thanks to its surreal -- yet flashy -- set design and spooky cinematography, but it also deals with some unsettling content. The titular antagonist, for example, is a serial rapist, making his interactions with the female characters quite uncomfortable... even though the movie never quite crosses that line. There are a lot of twists and turns, which sometimes don't make any sense and the big reveal was so transparent that I'm honestly shocked that the heroes struggled to connect the dots. Speaking of whom, the good guys are quite dull, whereas the villains are pretty entertaining to watch, with even the silly makeup sometimes adding to the fun to be had. The fight scenes are pretty good too, even though the "horror" oriented scenes upstaged the action choreography, in my opinion. Overall, I love it when a kung fu flick stands out like this, so I kind of love this movie, warts and all. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 23, 2019)

*100 Bloody Acres (2012)* is an Australian horror-comedy that's often compared to "Tucker and Dale Vs Evil", although the similarities are mostly superficial. There is some decent gore and some very amusing moments, but "100 Bloody Acres" just didn't stick the landing with me. It's one of those movies where all of the... pieces... are there to make something special -- an interesting concept, a strong cast, good enough production value, but I think it all started to fall apart during the 3rd act. We're expected to sympathize with characters who aren't really sympathetic, so their development doesn't make a lot of sense. 

2/4 

*The Brutal River (2005)* is a "killer alligator" movie from Thailand and... *sigh*... I was curious to see what they could do with the genre, even though I should've known... "The Brutal River" sucks, featuring a phony gator that is sometimes "brought to life" using bad practical effects, other times using worse CGI... and usually is just off-screen. "Jaws" kept its menace off-screen and it's a masterpiece, but everything about "The Brutal River" is cheesy in the worst way. The acting is so over-the-top in the most annoying way imaginable, the story development is slow, plodding and makes idiots out of all the characters. The cinematographer occasionally will craft some moody shots of the (admittedly cool) setting, but "The Brutal River" looks like it was made for television. The soundtrack just adds to the "soap opera" like feel of the production and I found it to be lame instead of unintentionally amusing -- or legitimately effective, as if that was still on the table. I will admit that from a technical perspective, "The Brutal River" is a few steps up from a syfy production and the finale even has some interesting stuff, but I spent most of the movie bored and frustrated.

1/4 

*Climax (2018)* is one of those avant-garde, experimental films designed to please the arthouse crowd, while dabbling in the horror genre JUST ENOUGH to get our attention. I've said it many times before, but these kinds of movies just don't appeal to my sensibilities, yet even I will admit "Climax" showcases some great material. The set-up is pretty basic, in that a group of dancers are partying and someone spikes the Sangria with LSD, causing them to gradually freak out. The dance choreography is pretty amazing, probably even being the best I've ever seen on film and there is some very effective content. The second half does showcase some disturbing atmosphere, with the highlight being a contortionist pushing his body beyond its limits in the background. The ending left me unsatisfied, but I suspect that was the point. If you're a fan of this style, give "Climax" a shot, but remember that it's more arthouse than horror.

3/4 

*Big Bad Wolf (2006)* really left a bad taste in myself, as the filmmakers seem unsure whether or not they want you to take the movie seriously. It begins as a campy, silly "werewolf terrorizes teens in an isolated cabin" splatterfest, with a monster that throws around amusing one-liners while gruesomely tearing its prey apart. But then the pacing slows down to suddenly become... a domestic abuse drama? What the hell? This isn't what I signed up for! There are many problems with this creative decision, the first being that the cast is fine within the contest of a slasher, but aren't able to sell the more emotional content. It's baffling how something so absurd can suddenly become much more grounded in reality, presenting a surprisingly realistic portrait of familial abuse. It's depressing, not fitting with the established tone at all. The narrative eventually returns to the cabin setting, reinstating the campy tone of the first act, but by then the damage has already been done. "Big Bad Wolf" also has a lot of rape scenes, but sends mixed signals as to how we're supposed to feel about them, which ends up being a serious mood killer. I wanted to enjoy this, as the werewolf makeup effects are pretty good, the gore is plentiful and delightfully trashy, while the one-liners were worthy of Freddy Krueger. But "Big Bad Wolf" kept sabotaging its own entertainment value with its failure to settle on a tone. 

1.5/4 

*Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)* is definitely a good science fiction thriller, but I have to admit to struggling with taking the "pods" seriously... The cast is great, boasting such a fun and natural chemistry that I was even invested in the love story. I was surprised how risque the dialogue was for this time period, but I'm glad they were able to get away with it because the lines are both charming and funny. When strange stuff starts to happen, they sold me on their growing paranoia and dread. But they were not able to sell me on those silly looking props. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" is still worthy of being heralded as a "classic" though, B-movie warts and all! I love how the "snatched" still act like normal people, whereas the remakes favor them behaving more robotically. I think it's scarier when you can't tell who is human and who is an imposter. Don Siegel ("Dirty Harry") showcases some his most sophisticated work as a director, although the writing occasionally fumbles with plot induced stupidity. I personally prefer the 1978 adaptation of the same name and I haven't seen "Body Snatchers" (yet), but this is easily superior to "The Invasion (2007)". If you're a fan of 1950's science fiction, this is one of the better ones... although you probably already know that, as I assume this is a reason why you're a fan of 1950's science fiction.

3/4   

AND CURRENTLY IN THEATERS...

*Crawl (2019)* was a lot of fun. "Animal Attacks" movies are usually difficult to make because they either require a budget or resort to money saving techniques that I find to be dull. I was more-or-less expecting "The Shallows" with alligators, where the focus would be on the human drama, because they can't really afford much else. But much to my surprise, "Crawl" gets to the thrills pretty quickly and remains consistently fast paced. It's also too short to ever be boring. There is human drama, but they either blend it in seamlessly with the action or focus on it when the audience is taking a breather from the action. "Crawl" really does prioritize excitement and terror. There are some awesome set pieces that were MUCH more ambitious than its meager budget should allow. But the effects were convincing and the stakes only get higher and higher.

The movie does occasionally fall victim to some pet peeves of mine. The heroine starts no-selling some nasty injuries throughout the second half. I also groan whenever I see someone have to sneak out in perilous waters for a cell phone, but stay in that dangerous spot as they try to call the police. Why not sneak back to where it's safe and then make the call? It's like they want to be jump scared, so they'll lose the phone! But honestly, Alexander Aja knows how to entertain an audience and before my eyes finished rolling, he would have me back on board with something awesome.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 12, 2019)

*The Violent Kind (2010)* can be summed up as "Evil Dead, but with a biker gang!", but despite the attention grabbing concept, the movie is... questionable... There are some decent gore effects and the cast is comprised of stellar, enthusiastic actors... even if half of them don't look right in these kinds of roles... I also appreciate how ambitious the story is, as it enters into some bizarre Lovecraftian territory. I admire effort almost as much as excellence, so I couldn't bring myself to hate on this movie... even with its sloppy storyline, plot induced stupidity, contrived attempts at drama or tension and REALLY bad CGI effects. "The Violent Kind" might not be a good movie, but it reaches for the stars and its fingers brush against something worthwhile. I enjoyed it more than not, all things considered.

2.5/4

*Wolf Creek 2 (2013)* made me realize... I'm not sure I like the ole 'Torture Porn' subgenre of horror anymore... I love slashers and splatter and nearly every shade of red which comes with it, but these kinds of movies have aged poorly because the novelty has worn off. Back when "Saw" and "Hostel" were all the rage, their depressingly bleak content was new and exciting, so they had an impact. But now? We know exactly how every single one of these movies is going to end, so why bother making an emotional attachment to the characters if we know they're doomed? The gore effects are designed to be realistic and unpleasant instead of fun, so all you can do is watch people get tortured without any reason to care, with the final result being... numbness... "Wolf Creek 2" is a technically well made movie, developed by talented people and performed by a talented cast, but I was bored because I recognize "victims" when I see them. Why don't slashers have this issue? Other subgenres -- in fact, ALL subgenres -- are equally burdened by recognizable cliches, but at least they have something else to fall back on. Paranormal flicks often focus on creepy imagery, slashers are fun in a cheap thrills kind of way, etc. This movie attempts to pull a "Psycho" on us, but it's very transparent and just made me care a little less. But do you know? The second half was a vast improvement, as it changes gears and downplays the actual torture. I'm talking mind games, paranoia, crazy set pieces and an admittedly fun car chase that somehow involved kangaroos. It's too bad that the actual ending was lackluster. So if you like this subgenre, especially if you liked "Wolf Creek (1)", you should watch this as it is one of the better examples of it... I'm just exhausted of this kind of horror.

2.5/4

*Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2015)* is one of those shitty shark movies that sells itself entirely on the title, hoping to find a spot on the syfy channel... although as far as I know, it was too terrible to even be aired on that network. By the way, even though the characters are mostly comprised of inmates, it doesn't take place in a prison, so the title is misleading too... But I guess Sharkasaurus was already taken. "Sharkasaurus" has been taken, right? Anyway -- this actually borrows a lot from "Tremors" and that is all I can really say about it. It's bad in every way, but every once in awhile, it becomes amusingly terrible. It's not the worst of these kinds of movies, I guess...

1.5/4

*Horns (2013)* was a pleasant surprise for me, as it has a unique, interesting concept and showcases a different side to Alexander Aja's work. It's more story and character driven, boasts a darkly humorous tone, but can also be dramatic and suspenseful when it wants to be. The way the mystery unfolds is unconventional, even though the big reveal is way too easy to see coming. I can't say it's a perfect film. There is one flashback sequence that goes on for too long and the ending was a little unsatisfying, but I spent most of my viewing experience thoroughly invested in the material -- warts and all.

3/4
*
What We Do in the Shadows (2014) is *like the gothic horror equivalent of "This is Spinal Tap" and I f@cking loved it. I spent nearly the entire movie laughing, while digging all of the vampire references. Everything about this movie worked for me, so much so that I... I can't even think of anything else to say.

4/4

*Why Don't You Play in Hell? (2013)* is a very broad, silly, absurd... wickedly violent... Yakuza film that's so batshit insane that it can't really be categorized as anything. The only reason I'm including it here is because of the finale, where the entire cast engages in a prolonged, bloody and stylish, sword slinging brawl -- reminiscent of a samurai flick. It took me awhile to get used to this madness and I do think the narrative is inherently flawed because important characters vanish for long stretches of time, but it's strange and unpredictable in the best possible way. I never knew what to expect from it.

3.5/4

and currently in theaters...

*Scary Stories to tell in the Dark (2019)* was more-or-less what I wanted out of that "Goosebumps" movie, although I should point out that I had never even heard of this property until I saw the first trailer... and yet it's apparently a big deal and played a significant role in many childhoods... eh, "Goosebumps" was what I grew up reading. This was pretty good, but I do find myself wondering who the target audience is. Is this a kid friendly horror flick? Not really, as it actually is pretty disturbing, even for its PG-13 rating. Is it for adults? I kind of feel like it was a little restrained for us older folk. Maybe for fans of the books? I have absolutely no idea. I'd assume so, as some of the critics I follow have admitted that they felt nostalgia while watching this.

"Scary Stories to tell in the Dark" is pretty creepy thanks to a combination of atmospheric cinematography and unsettling creature designs. I feel like the director did a great job at setting up the scary stuff, but struggled when it came to the pay-offs, probably because there is only so much you can do with the characters without making this an R-rating. I might say that this is too disturbing for kids... but it's also probably the type of movie I would've loved as a kid, especially with its use of gross stuff. Cockroaches, spiders, severed toes... yuck... but in a good way! The cast is good, although I struggled buying the kids as friends, as they just seemed too fundamentally different... and was that an attempt at political commentary? Maybe they were just reinforcing the time period, but it sometimes felt distracting. Nevertheless, I thought this was a pretty good horror feature. It stands out amongst the crowd of horror flicks that are desperately trying to be "The Conjuring" and that alone makes it worth your consideration.

3/4


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## reiatsuflow (Aug 14, 2019)

MH, have you ever seen/reviewed a movie called "Hagazuzza"? It's available on prime and it's supposed to be great.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 14, 2019)

No. Is it great though? 34% rated it 1 star and that's the highest of the percentages


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## reiatsuflow (Aug 14, 2019)

General audiences seem to have a problem with certain types of horror. The witch had the same thing, and this has been compared to the witch. Hereditary got like a D- cinemascore or something.

I saw it because rottentomatoes did a list of the highest rated horror movies of 2019 and I realized I had never heard of or seen the number one movie.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 15, 2019)

reiatsuflow said:


> General audiences seem to have a problem with certain types of horror. The witch had the same thing, and this has been compared to the witch. Hereditary got like a D- cinemascore or something.
> 
> I saw it because rottentomatoes did a list of the highest rated horror movies of 2019 and I realized I had never heard of or seen the number one movie.



Interesting. If I see it, I'll let you know. If you see it, let me know.


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## Uncle Acid (Aug 15, 2019)

Hagazussa are fantastic. Absolutely gorgeous movie. It's not as similar to The Witch as it might seem in the trailers tho. Personally I view it more as a trippy combination of The Witch and Valhalla Rising, albeit way more slow-burning and with a less focus on a narrative than either. There is little dialogue, tons of long shots of beautiful nature and a fantastic sense of weirdness throughout the film, much due to how it's filmed and the stunning soundtrack by MMMD. A very unique film IMO. Slow, atmospheric, bleak and meditative.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 21, 2019)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - ""

While I love a variety of horror, ranging from atmospheric to cerebral, I've always held a soft spot for the slasher. They they might only primarily function as cheap thrills, but there's something strangely relaxing about a masked killer playing cupid between their weapon of choice and the flesh of a poor victim. I especially am fond of the ones with exotic locations or unique gimmicks, as it kind of makes me feel like I'm going on some sort of demented vacation -- and if the movie is actually good, even better! "Hatchet" was designed to be a throwback to the golden age of slashers (the 1980's) and Victor Crowley stepped into the bloody shoes vacated by the slasher King Jason Voorhees himself. Yet when I saw "Hatchet" upon its release, I found myself strangely underwhelmed and indifferent towards the development of the franchise. I barely even thought about it until Adam Green dramatically unveiled "Victor Crowley", the newest sequel which had been written, shot and edited entirely secret. Even I was swept up in that hype and it made me think back upon the original movie and I came to a bizarre realization. All of my memories of "Hatchet" made it seem like the most bad-ass slasher of all time, yet I could still vividly remember my disappointment, so why wasn't I fan along with all of the other slasher purists? Why is the movie aging so well within my mind? But has the movie actually aged well? WTF IS GOING ON IN MY BRAIN!? We discuss this and more for the Compulsive Franchise Disorder review series of the Victor Crowley saga, which includes --

- "Hatchet (2006)"

- "Hatchet II (2010)"

- "Hatchet III (2012)"

- "Victor Crowley (2017)"


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## MartialHorror (Aug 26, 2019)

*Rigor Mortis (2013)* is one of the few Chinese horror flicks I've seen that tries to be legitimately scary, as most seemingly strive to mix the spookiness with either kung fu or comedy. This isn't to say that "Rigor Mortis" doesn't sometimes blend genres, as there is a fight scene here and there and the finale is the special effects bonanza. While the CGI could've been better, I have to admit that I never entirely knew what to expect next. I didn't find it scary, but it was interesting and often kind of creepy. The characters are all intriguing.  I didn't like the ending though, as it was both confusing and unsatisfying.

3/4

*The Butterfly Murders (1979)* was Tsui Hark's directorial debut and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to like it. A wuxia styled murder mystery set in a mysterious castle, where the cast is terrorized by a killer dressed in bondage gear, who uses F@CKING BUTTERFLY'S as weapons? That sounds amazing! Unfortunately, the transfer sucked, so the subtitles often missed their cues or were just plain wrong, which was a death blow for a movie with such a convoluted plot. I'm not entirely sure why half of these subplots were necessary. The editing is so bizarre that the fight scenes are often a challenge to follow and the characters were pretty boring, yet somehow removed in ways that are so unsatisfactory that I think Tsui Hark was doing it deliberately. How can you not laugh at the conclusion? The movie has some pretty good atmosphere though and benefits from being unusual.

2/4

*Black Water (2007)* is a killer crocodile flick from Australia and it's pretty good, in that survival thriller kind of way. I'm actually not the biggest fan of these kinds of movies ("Open Water", "The Shallows", "47 Meters Down"), as they all seem to follow the same formula. Yet this is one of the better ones thanks to some ingenious special effects, which showcase a handful of incredible money shots. The tension was high and there are a few harrowing moments that will leave you shaken. I'm more of a "Rogue", "Crawl" or "Alligator" kind of guy, but this was solid.

3/4

I tried to watch *Raiders of the Lost Shark (2015)* with my Mother and sister, as we all figured it would be funny after having a good laugh at the expense of "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre", but this wasn't only absurdly incompetent and cheap in every possible way, it was also really boring... so we turned it off and watched *The Hole in the Ground (2019)* instead. I'm glad I did, because this was a good, slow burn chiller that balances horror and drama rather seamlessly. The cast carries the material and there are plenty of spooky, uncomfortable moments. It's kind of like "The Babadook", albeit not quite as good.

3/4

and finally, CURRENTLY IN THEATERS!!!

*Ready or Not (2019)* was awesome! Even though the reviews have been positive, I was worried that this was going to be another "You're Next", which seemingly entertained everyone except me. But I laughed often... and I laughed hard. The cast is all in top form, with everyone having perfect comedic reactions to the absurdity, while also selling the audience on how serious the situation is. Samara Weaving is awesome, but I've known that ever since she made a mediocre movie like "The Babysitter" actually worth watching. The real surprise for me was Adam Brody, whom I've never really noticed before. He gets one of the better roles, even though most of the roles allow the cast to shine in some way, yet he's arguably the breakout star here... or maybe he's been a star this entire time and I've just been out of touch with who is popular right now.

Even though "Ready of Not" is hilarious, it is still a thriller, with some cringe inducing violence, a high level of intensity and even some spooky, candlelight inspired lighting. I thought that this was a period piece based on the trailers, but this takes place during the present and was simply adopting an aesthetic that made it look like it was set during the early 1900's. Some of the twists you'll see coming, others you won't, be even when I was expecting something, the movie would cleverly play with my expectations, tricking me into doubting myself. Finally, "Ready or Not" is fast paced and doesn't overstay its welcome, cementing it as one of the most entertaining flicks of 2019. Check it out!


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## MartialHorror (Sep 7, 2019)

*Darna Mana Hai (2003) *was my first Bollywood experience... and probably will be my last Bollywood experience...  It's an anthology horror and I've heard good things, but the wraparound story was too repetitive for my liking and various tales tended to induce a mere shrug from me. There are a few decent ones, such as when a driver picks up a mysterious man at the cemetery. Others are weird, like the one where we're supposed to be afraid of apples or some shit. Others are boring, but have good endings. Others are just boring. I did find it amusing how characters would suggest doing  a song -- because I thought that's what Bollywood does, only for their companions to say "Nope!". Tonally, it's hard to take seriously... yet never really that funny. I just don't think this style is for me. 

2/4 

*Antarctic Journal (2015)* is one of those movies you REALLY hope is exceptional, because everything seems designed for you. A South Korean horror with Lovecraftian themes, set in the Antarctic? Cool! But I was a little disappointed. "Antarctic Journal" is a slow burn chiller, but it was MUCH slower than I was expecting. I thought the climax was upon us, but nope! There was still an hour to go. There is still some good atmosphere, with a few really creepy moments. The ending kind of lost me, as it wastes a lot of foreshadowing, but maybe I'm missing something. 

2.5/4   
*
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018)* isn't really a horror movie, but it does use some of the genre's techniques for building suspense. "Sicario" was a masterpiece, but this sequel was very entertaining... until it became about a hitman bonding with a little girl... At that point, the movie just fell apart and the ending in particular stood out as unsatisfying. I think that was the point, but the experience left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. It's a shame, because I really enjoyed the performances and the first half is full of riveting material.

2.5/4 

*The Revenant (2009)*... No, not THAT "The Revenant"... is a horror-comedy that's surprisingly good. The characters are well written and the story is interesting, with some inspired direction to conquer the low budget. The problem is that it's so tonally confused. It begins as a comedy and is pretty amusing, but around the half way point, it starts taking itself seriously as a thriller. To the filmmakers' credit, these scenes are suspenseful and disturbing. But the ending is just too depressing for a movie with such a silly beginning. Nevertheless, this deserves more attention than it gets, as it is pretty unconventional.

3/4 

*Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)* is a Zombie, comedy, Christmas... musical... and it might be a masterpiece, even if I'm not in love with it. The movie is hilarious, but the mortality of the characters is always up in the air, so you do feel tension and excitement during the zombie attacks. The color scheme is befitting of the holiday and there are a few bad-ass set pieces. The characters are very well written and I like how the sympathetic characters are flawed, while the unpleasant characters evoke moments of sympathy. So why am I hesitant in my love? I'm not a fan of musicals. For me, it's like the entire narrative stops for characters to sing and dance... At least the songs are catchy and the dance choreography is stylish though...

3.5/4   
*
The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)* is "The Autopsy of Jane Doe"'s mediocre little sister. There are some awful, unintentionally hilarious moments thanks to the film being unsure how this spectre actually functions. It can appear and disappear at will... but sometimes needs to take the elevator to catch its prey... There are also some good jump scares too and I guess that's the point of this entire movie. Shay Mitchell is excellent as the lead, so there are some genuine positives. But for the most part? It's just another ghost story.

2/4 

*Forbidden Empire (2014) *is an English-Russian co-production, based on a novel called "Viy", which is apparently a big deal over there. This is an adventure-horror hybrid and I think I would've liked it a lot more if the audio was accompanied with subtitles. The dubbing makes the acting seem worse than it probably is and some of the lines are awful, but even worse, I sometimes struggled with understanding the exposition. Yet I found myself charmed by the films' campiness. The performances are unrestrained, but they're entertaining and there are a handful of fun set pieces. It's not good, but I was entertained.  

and finally...

Many have complained about *It: Chapter 2* being an inferior sequel, BUT I WARNED ALL OF YOU! You kept insisting that the director would make a masterpiece, but have you read the book? The material surrounding the kids was the best stuff, with the adult segments usually being used to provide context for the flashbacks; or being used to enhance them. This isn't even considering how scarier it is when children are in peril. Whereas its predecessor was able to forge a strong narrative from the flashbacks of the book, this just feels like a collection of set pieces. The heroes will split up and have flashbacks to their childhood and get terrorized by Pennywise, who also sometimes targets other children. So... So... WHY DID I LOVE THIS MOVIE!? 

Okay, so I understand the complaints. But even if this was just a collection of set pieces, they're much more ambitious -- and in my opinion -- more terrifying than anything from the first. Yes, the film is too long, but I only ever felt impatient during the epilogue. The cast, who all look stunningly like the children they're portraying as adults, are all phenomenal and kept me invested in the scenes that weren't supposed to be scary. If you miss the younger cast though, don't fret as they also reprise their roles in new footage. "It: Chapter 2" might be frightening, but I was also taken aback by how funny it was. I kept thinking that the tone should be in peril, but the movie balanced horror and horror so well that I was often laughing while bracing myself for something terrifying. This sequel also came dangerously close to making me cry... There is one scene near the end that really got to me... It was beautiful.

This sequel does take some liberties from the book... at least based off my memory... and I was cool with most of them. The shift in time period continues to have ripple effects those, as it's strange seeing a homosexual couple in 2017 get harassed by 1980's caricatures (in the book, it takes place in the 1980's).  It's kind of strange though that my biggest complaint surrounds the return of Henry Bowers, the bully from the first one. It's funny, as I remember criticizing his apparent death in Chapter 1, because of his importance in the sequel. But now? I wish they had just killed him off, because besides it being a little too farfetched that he was able to walk away from a fall that steep, his subplot seemed odd irrelevant. His scenes lacked suspense and didn't have much in the way of consequences. This wasn't an issue in the book or even in the mini-series, where he was a genuine threat who brought his own brand of tension. If they had removed his subplot, all it would've done was shorten the runningtime. 

But it's not like his scenes take up a lot of screen-time either, so I'll end this 'review' by emphasizing how much "It: Chapter 2" worked its magic on me. Is it as good as the first one? No, but I might prefer this one anyway. At the absolute least, it made me laugh harder, jump higher and... sniffle... so much more. I loved it, even if I'm one of the few who seemingly do.

3.5/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kansas City Kipchaks Point Guard (Sep 9, 2019)

MartialHorror said:


> *Darna Mana Hai (2003) *was my first Bollywood experience... and probably will be my last Bollywood experience...  It's an anthology horror and I've heard good things, but the wraparound story was too repetitive for my liking and various tales tended to induce a mere shrug from me. There are a few decent ones, such as when a driver picks up a mysterious man at the cemetery. Others are weird, like the one where we're supposed to be afraid of apples or some shit. Others are boring, but have good endings. Others are just boring. I did find it amusing how characters would suggest doing  a song -- because I thought that's what Bollywood does, only for their companions to say "Nope!". Tonally, it's hard to take seriously... yet never really that funny. I just don't think this style is for me.
> 
> 2/4


You won't watch more Indian movies?

That was probably not mainstream Indian or mainstream Bollywood movie.

Bollywood is just the Hindi industry, there are other regional cinema cultures in India.

SJW biatch like you. Writes about Indian movies plenty.


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## wibisana (Sep 9, 2019)

I prolly will check out some classic like the blob soon


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2019)

*Brightburn (2019)* was supposed to be a modern masterpiece, as giving the Superman formula a horrific twist seemed to be the most ingenuous idea of all time. It's sort of amusing and baffling in retrospect how commenters were convincing themselves that this would be "subversive", but then the movie was released to a lukewarm response... and everyone promptly forgot about it... For what it's worth, I don't think "Brightburn" did a lot wrong. It's ambitions could arguably be summed up as "slasher dressed in a cape" and as such, there is some really cool kills, enhanced by gruesome gore effects. I guess the tone was a little faulty, as "Brightburn" does seem to be taking itself very seriously, while  the kills are almost campy in their absurdity. The downfall of its little superman expy is presented as tragic, but the mayhem he causes is framed ton be awesome. I can't say this is a good movie. The character development is rushed through, yet the pacing is probably a little too slow for gore hounds, but "Brightburn" is only really a disappointment because of our unreasonable expectations. I still think it's OK.

2.5/4

*Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012)* was apparently at one point supposed to be a sequel to "The Wolf-Man (2010)", but after that (in my opinion, underrated) film flopped at the box office, it was retooled into this bonkers standalone film. I have to warn you in advance that the CGI effects used to bring the werewolf to life are pretty bad, although the filmmakers do a decent job at hiding its titular beast. This has lead to many hostile reviews, but I personally was able to accept it because "Werewolf: The Beast Among Us" is very campy. The performers are bizarrely over-the-top, the costuming and sets blend multiple time periods and cultures, the dialogue tries so hard to be cool or thought provoking that it becomes silly... and it all kind of worked for me... I couldn't take the movie seriously, but I never felt like it was supposed to and it prowls into some crazy territory for the finale that I didn't see coming -- even though everything else is laughably predictable. I enjoyed it, all things considered.

2.5/4

*You Can't Kill Stephen King (2012)* is supposedly a parody of Stephen King's works, but while there are some references -- a few being clever and amusing, a few inducing intense rolling of the eyes, it's mostly a satire of slashers. To be honest, "You Can't Kill Stephen King" kind of sucks, as it was made with a very low budget and it suffers from some serious tonal issues... and yet I laughed much more than I'm comfortable admitting. The cast deserve a lot of credit with their chemistry and comedic timing, but I suspect most of the fun came from my personal viewing experience -- as it's the type of movie you can easily laugh at with a group of people. I don't think I would've been as amused had I watched this on my own.

2/4

*Incident At Loch Ness (2004)* is a mockumentary, where acclaimed director Werner Herzog tries to solve the mystery behind the Loch Ness monster phenomenon... which might be a little more than a myth... From what I understand, the media was duped into thinking that the documentary Herzog was trying to make within this movie was a real documentary, only to realize it was a work of fiction upon release -- pretty funny stuff. "Incident at Loch Ness" has been advertised as a horror and a comedy, but while it has elements of both, it usually just resembles a behind-the-scenes expose, detailing a troubled production. As someone who is very interested in these kinds of stories, I was intrigued, but I can imagine a lot of audiences being bored. The humor is usually subtle, but clever, and most of the tension is grounded in reality as it focuses on the conflicts between Herzog and writer-producer Zak Penn. The "horror" doesn't really come into play for the finale and either its more effective for its ambiguity, or unsatisfying because of said ambiguity. This is not for everyone, but I liked it. Herzog is a fascinating personality, so this could've simply been a faux documentary about him struggling through a troubled production and I probably would've been happy. The Loch Ness monster gimmick was just icing on the cake for me.

3/4

*Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)* is a fondly remembered TV-movie, but most of the positive reviews seemed built upon nostalgia... and I've never seen it, so I don't really have that kind of connection... and I still thought it was good! There are some campy moments, especially with the broad performances, with the 1980's in general being filled with awkward portrayals of the mentally handicap. Yet the cheesiness probably helped the scarier and edgier content go down more smoothly with younger audiences, who might've been scared away without it. I was surprised with how violent this was for a TV-production, even if a lot was left to the imagination. There is even some disturbing content surrounding pedophilia. While this had to have a low budget, there is some sophisticated camerawork and "Dark Night of the Scarecrow" relies a lot on creepy atmosphere. My only real complaint was that the "final kill" was strangely tame compared to the rest, even though that should've been the most satisfying of the deaths. But "Dark Night of the Scarecrow" is surprisingly well done, being the type of movie that would probably be a hoot to put on around Halloween. 

3/4

*American Mary (2012)* taught me that I'm not a big fan of body horror, at least when it's grounded in reality, as it maybe hits a little too close to home in regards to my personal phobias. This isn't the fault of "American Mary" though, as it's more of a "me problem". I was expecting this movie to be much crazier, considering all of its bizarre implications, but it leaves much of its disturbing content to your imagination. This is often a good thing, but I will admit to being a little disappointed at times, even though I'm sure budgetary restrictions held it back. Nevertheless, there are some very realistic effects and an excellent use of 'uncanny valley'. Apparently there is a real "body modification" community -- which creeps me the f@ck out -- and some of its members make an appearance here. Mary's character development is somewhat problematic, with her occasionally dabbling in evils that I felt she was never properly called out on... But Katherine Isabelle's excellent performance makes it work for the most part. The ending kind of sucked though, making me wonder if some important material was left on the editing room floor or if they ran out of movie... assuming they simply had no idea how to end it... Nevertheless, "American Mary" is a solid example of its kind, even if I'm not part of the target audience. The Soska Sisters were the directors and would develop a cult following, largely because of this film.

2.5/4

Speaking of Katherine Isabelle...

I watched *Ginger Snaps (2000*) for the first time recently, even though it has been on my "to do" list for about... 15 years or so... I had heard only good things about it, but even back then, I was sick of the whole "werewolf transformation is a metaphor for puberty" angle. These days, I have a very complicated system for determining what I watch at home, utilizing a random number selection and whatever streaming services I use, so I only gave "Ginger Snaps" a chance because it was favored by chance. I feel kind of stupid for waiting so long, as "Ginger Snaps" is one of the best werewolf movies out there. Ginger (Katherine Isabelle) and Brigitte (Emily Perkins) are difficult to like at first, but they ultimately won me over and the dilemmas they faced were nerve wracking. Their dark wit was genuinely clever, albeit a little dated, as something about brooding teenagers of the early 2000's comes off as hokey these days. The cast is great though, as they somehow make their asshole characterizations endearing. The direction is stylish and the effects are amongst the best I've seen for a werewolf flick. I liked how "Ginger Snaps" plays with the werewolf rules, so Ginger's transformation is slow and gradual, leaving the heavy prosthetics for the thrilling finale. Even the "puberty" angle actually works, as it's NOT the sanitized version I'm used too. There is one pointless subplot where the "curse" spreads to a boy, who seemingly goes through the female version of puberty... I think the filmmakers were trying to make a point, showing the toxic male what women go through, but it's underdeveloped and distracting. Yet I'd strongly recommend "Ginger Snaps" to werewolf enthusiasts.

3.5/4

*Starry Eyes (2014)* has an interesting set-up and isn't devoid of equally interesting material, yet it kind of underwhelmed me. Alex Essoe is phenomenal in her role as an aspiring actress who may or may not have to "sell her soul" in some way to break into the film industry. She's adorable and sympathetic, but you see flashes of darkness within her and even her descent into madness doesn't stop you from pitying her. Her interactions with producers, directors, etc. are uncomfortable and tense, especially in the wake of the "Me Too" movement. When the 'body horror' starts, because this is definitely a horror film, the effects are grotesque. Unfortunately, I found myself mentally checking out of the experience because it was too easy to tell where it was going. If our heroine didn't do what she ultimately does, then there wouldn't be any real finale and the supporting cast is either underdeveloped or unsympathetic, so I didn't care what happened to them. I'm still trying to figure out the point of the "body horror", as it seemed like it was there to fill out the 2nd act. But I wouldn't say "Starry Eyes" is bad or even mediocre. It just needed a more satisfying finale, in my opinion.

2.5/4

I just thought I'd let everyone know, I have a "Death Note (2017)" review collecting dust in my computer... somehow... and I'm debating whether I want to make it a formal review or just post it here. I wrote it shortly after the release of the movie, but it's kind of long (too long for an informal review), while also kind of messy (too messy for a formal review)... I think I originally withheld it in case I did a "Compulsive Franchise Disorder" review series on its franchise, but I don't think I will now. I'll let you know. I also might post a "Leatherface" review, as when I watched it, I was also considering that as a "Compulsive Franchise Disorder" subject, but don't think I want to do a full write-up on "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"... But we'll see.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 11, 2019)

*From Beyond (1986)* is from the cast and crew who brought us the cult favorite "Re-Animator (1985)", with both films being loosely based on the works of H.P Lovecraft. While this doesn't get as much love as its predecessor, it has developed its own following and for good reason. The film has lots of crazy, grotesque special effects and a lot of personality, finding the perfect balance of cheesiness and terror -- all attributes that made "Re-Animator" so beloved by its fans. This isn't to say "From Beyond" is perfect, as there is some really stupid writing on display, yet the cast somehow makes the hokey dialogue and dumb character decisions oddly charming. The beauty of these filmmakers is that they're dementedly imaginative and you never know how f@cked up or weird their movies will get... and this gets pretty f@cked up and weird...

3.5/4 

*The Neon Demon (2016)* is another Nicolas Winding Refn mindscrew, cut from the same cloth of "Only God Forgives", even if it showcases an entirely different aesthetic. Expect a slow burner with lots of provocative imagery and I think even its fiercest detractors will acknowledge the stunning cinematography and its accompanying moody soundtrack. Refn is a genius, but I think his use of symbolism is all smoke and mirrors. I don't believe there is any deeper meaning to his works. The metaphors end up being so on-the-nose that I find them more amusing than thought provoking or enlightening. Yet even though these aren't my preferred types of cinematic experiences, I had a stronger reaction to this one than most. I hated "Only God Forgives", but "The Neon Demon" kept me in a state of discomfort... and left me guessing where it was going until the very end. 

3/4 

Even though Clint Eastwood's *High Plains Drifter (1973)* is NOT a horror flick, you can see some of the genre's influences behind its moody atmosphere. It's a western, an American production designed to homage Eastwood's spaghetti western days ("The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"; "Fistful of Dollars"), although you can see traces of his eventual subversive western phase ("Outlaw Josey Whales", "Unforgiven"). Eastwood balances his rugged charm with an unusual menace, with the ambiguity of his motivations providing a surprisingly compelling mystery. The town being painted red is a striking yet haunting image, with the finale being somewhat terrifying. I'd say this is a great movie, but admittedly it's treatment of women is pretty appalling... even by the standards of its day. 

3.5/4 

*31 (2016)* is probably the worst Rob Zombie flick, even though I didn't hate it as much as "House of 1,000 Corpses" -- in fact, I didn't really hate it at all. The editing is messy and the sets often looked cheap, but say what you will about Rob Zombie, his movies always showcase distinct personalities that cannot be emulated by anyone else. Sure... that personality is often rough around the edges to the point where most of the dialogue is crass and loud... the characters are unpleasant and loud... and the kills are mean spirited and... loud, I guess... But I always admire Zombie's enthusiasm and sense of style. These days, I only hate movies that feel like they're going through the motions, phoning in a reliable formula because the filmmakers are more interested in making a product than they are in making any kind of art. Even beyond that though, I liked the soundtrack and the cast, who all turn in strong performances despite playing unlikable characters. Richard Brake as "Doom-head" is a scene stealer and he looks terrifying in that quasi-clown makeup.

2/4   

*Head of the Family (1996)* is a 'Full Moon Features' production, directed by Charles Band himself. This isn't really a horror movie, as much as it's a comedic "Blood Simple", albeit with grotesque imagery befitting a horror film and lots and lots of nudity. I wouldn't describe it as anything special and it eventually runs out of steam, but it was pretty amusing and the cast play off each-other well.  

2.5/4 

*Madhouse (1974)* is a Vincent Price vehicle and even though Peter Cushing gets second billing, he isn't in the movie enough to make the most of their collaboration. "Madhouse" isn't very good, with predictable writing and flat direction, the whole affair being reminiscent of a bloodless slasher. But the cast keeps it afloat, with Vincent Price in particular commanding the screen in every scene. I strongly suspect that Lucio Fulci was inspired by this when he made "Cat in the Brain", as both films share similar thematic material and both even find ways to force in stock footage of their previous movies -- although "Madhouse" thankfully doesn't use it as a crutch.

2.5/4 

and currently in theaters...

I thought *Joker (2019)* was great, although it's not for everyone. It's a slow burn, psychological thriller, reminiscent of "Taxi Driver" -- and yes, I know that's a cliched comparison at this point, but I'm not a fake real critic anymore so I don't have to be clever! Every scene is designed to keep the audience in a state of discomfort, while Joaquin Phoenix is amazing in the iconic role. There is one chilling moment where he has a wide smile on his face, but his eyes are intense. I don't know if I've ever seen that conveyed in such a striking way before. I thought the pay-offs were satisfying and there narrative manages to be shrouded in ambiguity without feeling cheap.

There's been a lot of controversy surrounding this, but... is this any more dangerous than any other disturbing film about someone's descent into madness? I have my own suspicions as to the source of this outrage, but I'll probably just keep them to myself as it has to do with politics and everyone is too touchy on such things right now. If anything bad happens -- and I pray it doesn't -- I'd probably blame the media for stirring things up before I blame the movie itself. I would've never known that this could be dangerous if it weren't for twitter. 

3.5/4


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## jesusus (Oct 12, 2019)

Joker is a horror movie?


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## MartialHorror (Oct 12, 2019)

jesusus said:


> Joker is a horror movie?



I sometimes blur the lines between horror and thriller, especially of the psychological variety -- albeit only if I'm in the mood to talk about it.

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Oct 26, 2019)

I took my sweet time getting to *Happy Death Day 2U (2019)* because I wasn't the biggest fan of its predecessor, even though I understand why it has developed a following. I can't say that this sequel was a good movie... or even really a good sequel... but I do think it's a good expansion on the original. The humor is very much in line with what "Happy Death Day" delivered -- for better or worse -- and the charming characterizations of the cast remain intact. I was taken aback by how glad I was to see everyone again and I appreciated how there were efforts to flesh out some of the supporting cast. I was initially hooked, as the story goes into some strange and unpredictable material, but then... it resorts back to the formula of the original and I lost interest... Even more bizarrely, while there is a killer on the prowl, that entire subplot seems so tacked on that I'm almost convinced that in the original draft, there was no killer. The murder mystery is much more downplayed compared to the first one, so if that's what you're interested in, you'll be disappointed. But if you just want to see these characters again and learn more about the "timeloop", then this sequel should satisfy. I will admit that some of the more emotionally charged moments got to me, which is bizarre considering how the thrills usually fell flat.

2/4

*Medium (1985)* is a Polish thriller, more of a strange mystery than it is horror. There is certainly some atmosphere befitting the genre and a few chilling moments. But I'm not sure why it's always categorized as "horror". Nevertheless, it kept my interest and had a good mystery, with an interesting cast of characters.

3/4 

*Murder Made Easy (2017)* is also not really a horror flick, although admittedly it's tricky to categorize because it dabbles in a lot of genres. Some refer to it as a murder mystery, but the killers are established almost immediately. Others refer to it as a comedy, but while the dialogue has a sharp wit and the characterizations are broad, I never really laughed. This isn't a shot at the movie either, as I don't think I was supposed to be laughing. Yet it does stick the landing with a cool twist ending. I saw it coming, but I will admit to loving the reveal anyway. The big problem with "Murder Made Easy" is that it relies so much on its ending that there isn't really much else to it. But at least it's short, so it was an easy watch.

3/4 

*The Blackcoat's Daughter (2019)* has all of the elements required to be great -- a strong cast, a chilling location and an intriguing set-up. There are some great moments befitting all of these strengths, so why isn't it great? It's hard to describe where this film stumbles without resorting to spoilers, so I'll just say this, the movie gets a little too clever for its own good. The narrative is navigating between two different stories and one drops a shocking twist that initially really stunned me, except then it sort of spoils where the story is going and that caused me to lose interest. It's strange, as every individual scene ranges between good and great, but it's almost as if those scenes start fighting each-other for your attention.

2.5/4 

and currently in theaters...

I was a little worried that *Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)* would miss the mark for me, as the trailers did little to really pump me up, but it ended up being a fun ride -- in some ways, just as entertaining as its predecessor. Almost all of the humor had me laughing out loud, even the gags that did nothing for me in the trailers (context matters). The zombie kills were inventive and gruesome and the characters continued to keep me invested, with the cast bringing their "A game" to the material. I didn't realize how much I missed their chemistry. The new characters were also fun in their own right, which surprised me because once again, they seemed annoying in the trailers.

Is it as good as the first "Zombieland"? Probably not, but to be fair, the original came out when the market had yet to be over-saturated with zombies and good or bad, this would never seem as unique or as fresh as the first one. But I will say that the big difference between "Zombieland" and "Zombieland 2" is that this one only really functions as an action-comedy. The first one hit more emotional beats, sneaking in some good drama and you felt like the characters were in real peril at times. For this one, even when they raise the stakes, I never felt any tension or suspense. So if you loved "Zombieland" for these reasons, this sequel might seem superficial. But if you're more interested in seeing zombies die in more ambitious ways, accompanied by witty zingers from a very entertaining cast, then "Zombieland: Double Tap" is a blast.

3/4

*The Lighthouse (2019)* will probably be my favorite movie of 2019, even though I'm usually not partial to these "arthouse" styles of horror. The director had previously helmed "The VVitch", which strove for authenticity so much that they recreated the old english dialect, even though most people probably felt like they were hearing a different language without any subtitles. I was worried that "The Lighthouse" would leave be equally perplexed, as it also recreates the dialect of the time period. Luckily, even if I missed a word or two, I never felt lost... at least when it came to the dialogue. When I'd hear a word I didn't recognize, such as "wiki", I'd quickly figure it out thanks to the context of the conversation.

This is still not an experience meant for everyone. The black and white cinematography is haunting and striking at once, but I'm sure many will reject it just because they prefer movies in color. The pacing is very slow and I sometimes grew impatient... yet not because I was bored... In truth, every scene plucked at my nerves so much that I began to feel like I was going crazy along with the characters.

"The Lighthouse" is strangely immersive. Even though I live in Arizona, I started to feel really cold in that theater, which I blame on the movie -- which makes damn sure to show how cold and wet everything is. The droning score is chilling; a masterpiece on its own; but it's used in this aggressive way that it quickly becomes maddening. Every time that siren would blare, I'd grow agitated. Yet when everything goes silent, it somehow was even worse. The acting is great, both selling the dialogue which could've sounded silly... and yet sometimes the movie would be deceptively funny too. Wake (Dafoe) goes on this big, dramatic rant that elicits a deadpan response from Winslow (Pattinson) that made me laugh out loud. But it's interesting seeing these two interact, as sometimes they're friendly, other times they're hostile towards each-other, but they often shift attitudes without warning, keeping you on your toes.

When it was all over, I breathed a sigh of relief, because I'm just not used to being sucked into a movie like this. It freaked me out! I think "The Lighthouse" was great, but if this doesn't seem like you're type of movie, then watch at your own risk. But if it sounds intriguing to you, I beg of you... Check it out...

4/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2019)

I've decided that to build up to Halloween, where I'll release a full review of "Halloween H20", I'd try to watch and write about a horror movie every night. There won't be any rhyme or reason to them, I might discuss movies that are good, bad, popular, obscure, old, new, etc... The only consistency is that I'd like to cover movies that are either available on prime, netflix or tubitv. 

So we begin with *Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)*, the cinematic adaptation of the popular anthology series. I don't remember watching the TV show, although it's possible I dabbled in it as I tended to experiment with a lot of horror-themed TV shows at the time, although most of them didn't stick. It doesn't really matter though, as this is simply an anthology film, with three separate short stories and a wraparound tale -- with only the title having to do with the TV series. This is sometimes regarded as the TRUE "Creepshow 3" and while it isn't as fondly remembered as "Creepshow", I think I enjoyed it more. The stories don't stand out as much, but the pacing of the anthology as a whole was a lot smoother. "Lot 249" is a fun start to the madness. It's eventually upstaged by the others, but it served as a good warmup. "Cat From Hell" is very silly, but it's silly in an entertaining kind of way and caps off with one incredible gross-out effect. "Lover's Vow" is definitely the best of the three, showing genuine emotion and some crazy awesome monster effects. I saw the ending coming, mostly because this tale was lifted from a much older, foreign anthology flick I will avoid naming to prevent accidental spoilers... although if you've seen it, I'm sure you'll figure it out too. The wraparound story is campy, but makes the other tales go down more smoothly by not being as grim. Overall, I enjoyed "Tales from the Darkside: The Movie" a lot. The stories were all solid and complimented each-other nicely, a rarity for anthology flicks. You can currently watch it on AMAZON PRIME.     

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2019)

*Hell Night (1981)* is a horror flick starring Linda Blair, where college pledges have to stay in an old, abandoned mansion for the night as part of their initiation... but something evil lurks within... I'm not going to lie, when I saw that this was streaming on TUBITV, I thought I had already seen it, because I've also watched "One Dark Night" and "The Hazing" within the same year, on the same platform and they share identical set-ups. The other two would end up surrounding a supernatural menace though. This is a slasher, albeit one that emphasizes atmosphere and suspense over gore effects. "Hell Night" is actually pretty good. The location is creepy and the filmmakers craft plenty of excellent chills and thrills around it. Some of the dialogue and acting might be wooden, but the cast has enough personality that I started to feel sad when it was time for them to contribute to the 'R-rating'. It's nice being pleasantly surprised by a genre flick, as 1980's slashers can go either way. "Hell Night" was supposed to get a sequel, but the project fell through. Apparently a lot of the sequel's plans were re-tooled into "The Hazing". You can currently watch it on TUBITV.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2019)

*Candyman (1992)* has developed into a cult classic, spawning two sequels of dwindling comedy and an upcoming remake produced by Jordan Peele ("Get Out"). I have to admit that my feelings towards this movie are somewhat inconsistent. I thought the movie worked best when it utilized the urban setting. The derelict buildings and imaginative use of graffiti artwork make for some striking and terrifying visuals. The cast provides a psychological edge, as everyone who lives in the Cabrini Green projects comes off as tough, yet afraid of 'something'. I am a little concerned that "Candyman" exploits some white fears for the sake of building tension, but I think it works... even if the unfortunate implications are still certainly there. The narrative started to lose me when it enters the "Is she crazy or not?" phase, mostly because I feel like I've seen that done too many times. The acting remains strong, with Virgina Madsen being likable even when her character does some foolish stuff. Tony Todd is just as integral to the Candyman as Robert Englund is to Freddy Krueger. He's imposing and menacing, yet tragic and alluring. The cast elevate the bulk of the middle block, which otherwise would've been mediocre, but the finale brought "Candyman" back to greatness. It's a very unusual final confrontation, yet it had me on the edge of my seat. It's strange, I feel like the racial additions to Clive Barker's story are actually somewhat sloppy... as what does being lynched to death by a racist mob have anything to do with candy anyway? Yet that might be a large part of why we remember "Candyman" so many years later. I'd say it's a "good" horror flick, that is regarded as "great" because it differentiates itself from the rest of the pack -- which is VERY difficult with this genre. On a final note, the music is awesome too. It's one of the most underrated horror themes of all time. 

3.5/4 

I remember seeing the second film and enjoying it at the time, although it should be noted that it didn't take much to entertain me. I hear it's pretty mediocre. I don't know if I've ever seen "Candyman 3", although it's possible I actually saw all three films the name night and simply can't remember what scene belongs to what movie. I recalled the first one well enough, but thought it contained a flashback to Candyman's dark past, which must've been one of the sequels. Either way, I hear "Candyman 3" is the worst of the trilogy. Maybe I'll revisit them both when I get the time. I'm interesting in seeing what Jordan Peele does with the remake though. I'd love to see this brand revived.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 30, 2019)

*Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)* has the reputation of being one of the best "worst" films of all time... F@CK THIS SHIT! I was expecting to laugh my ass off at its expense, but I spent most of the movie bored out of my mind. It's only 1 hour and 16 minutes long, yet feels SO MUCH LONGER, as every scene is stretched about ten times longer than it needs to be. I understand some of the appeal, as the legendary incompetence is front and center in every scene, whether it's the lighting, editing, dubbing, acting, F@CKING EVERYTHING, yet I just couldn't get into it. The only bright spot was Torgo (John Reynolds), as the actor was so high on LSD that it makes for a bizarre performance. The ending is also surprisingly mean spirited in such a way that it helped push the movie into infamy, but honestly... I struggled not to fall asleep. I'll stick with "Troll 2", "Plan 9 From Outer Space" or "Blood Feast", if I want a real good... bad... movie... They do make me laugh. 

0.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 31, 2019)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! As promised --

*Halloween: H20 (1998)* was considered a grand return to glory for the franchise, thanks primarily to Jamie Lee Curtis reprising her role, while attracting a hot young cast who seemed like they would become the future of industry. Even though the slasher industry was booming thanks to the success of "Scream", there were talks that this was going to be a direct-to-video release, showing how irrelevant the brand had become. So whether "Halloween: H20" is good or not, it did save the franchise... so why do I hate it with an unreasonable passion usually reserved for bottom of the barrel drivel? 

1.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 11, 2019)

CURRENTLY IN THEATERS!!!!!

I remember reading *Doctor Sleep (2019)* and thinking to myself that it would be difficult to adapt into a film. The story is compelling, but not exactly what I'd call cinematic and its connections to "The Shining" are so minimal that it would be difficult to cash in on its sequel status. Furthermore, it might not even share the same genre, as while "Doctor Sleep" is a suspenseful piece of literature, it's not what I'd call scary. In fact, I'd argue that it's more of a thriller than horror. To make matters worse, "The Shining" did not have the most faithful adaptation and "Doctor Sleep" pointedly follows the book... which is a problem when the movie has arguably surpassed the book in acclaim and pop culture, so a "Doctor Sleep" adaptation would have to follow the movie, if only to not confuse potential audiences... but this would require the book to be changed -- POINT IS, Mike Flanagan was always going to have his work cut out for him.

"Doctor Sleep" (the movie) was pretty good though, about as solid of an adaptation as it could've been. I felt like the movie had an awkward start, although to be fair, the book struggled a bit as well as they got those pesky "The Shining" connections out of the way. They recast some of the roles from the original movie and sometimes the new actors seamlessly wear these characters skin; sometimes they look like they're cosplaying.

The cast is generally phenomenal though and the script gives everyone quite a bit to do. Ewan McGregor is perfect as Danny and Rebecca Ferguson somehow manages to be intimidating without trying to look intimidating. Kyliegh Curran makes Abra a lot of fun, even though I wasn't crazy about her character in the book. The writing isn't any different, but the actress changed my mind. There is some great tension and great drama alike. There aren't many horror sequences, but "Doctor Sleep" moves surprisingly quickly for a long movie like this. I do think "Doctor Sleep" has a good story and I think it's at its best when it's not trying to evoke "The Shining". Flanagan showcases some great visuals. My audience gasped in awe during one scene. There's also some harrowing acts of violence, which left everyone uncomfortably quiet...

I'm not really sure how I feel about the finale, as it has some great moments, yet I also was left wanting more of certain interactions. Maybe I'm just greedy. Mike Flanagan deserves so much credit for making this work, as like I said, "Doctor Sleep" was always going to be tough to adapt. But the filmmakers all pulled it off! 

3/4


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## Kisaitaparadise (Nov 11, 2019)

Only watched 1 movie from this list lol. Gotta check out the rest.


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## Karma (Nov 11, 2019)

Have u watched Parasite yet?


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## MartialHorror (Nov 11, 2019)

Karma said:


> Have u watched Parasite yet?



Not yet. I'm hoping I'll be able to see it on Friday.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 15, 2019)

@Karma 

CURRENTLY IN THEATERS -- 

After many delays, I finally got around to watching *Parasite (2019)*, from director Bong Joon Ho ("The Host", "Memories of Murder", "Snowpiercer", "Okja", "Mother" -- seriously, this guy does amazing work). 

Unfortunately, it's very difficult to review because "Parasite" can't be classified. Some call it comedy; others call it a suspense thriller and many have argued it's a hybrid. They're not wrong, but it's not enough of one or the other to fit the definitions of the genre. Yet it shifts through these different genres based on what serves the story at the moment so masterfully, that it still evoked every desired emotion from me. I often laughed, grew tense, shed some tears and even used my head from time to time. I never felt any mood whiplash either. I suppose it's because "Parasite" never is so funny that it lessens the suspense; while it's never so dramatic or intense that it loses its comedic edge. This could've made the film underwhelming, but the story is strong enough to keep you hooked. I never really knew where it was going.

But there's little I can talk about without indirectly spoiling where the story goes, so all I can say is "Parasite" is great. It's a masterpiece and one of my favorites of this year. I don't know if it's my favorite work from Bong Joon Ho, but that's admittedly because most of his other films are more in line with my general tastes. I think I prefer "The Host" and "Memories of Murder", but I'm also very partial towards monster films and murder mysteries, so they have an advantage. "Parasite" might actually be his best work mainly because it isn't supported by a specific genre, if that makes any sense. It's just great. The writing, direction, editing, cinematography, acting, scoring... all great!

4/4

Reactions: Like 2


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## Karma (Nov 22, 2019)

I forgot to ask, but between Lighthouse and Parasite which did u prefer?


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## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2019)

Karma said:


> I forgot to ask, but between Lighthouse and Parasite which did u prefer?



HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Two very different experiences. I feel like "Lighthouse" had a bigger impact on me, but if I had to watch either of them again right now, I'd say "Parasite".


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## MartialHorror (Dec 6, 2019)

*Black Belly of the Tarantula (1971)* is a pretty standard giallo, with your appreciation of it probably depending on how partial you are to this genre. While I consider myself a fan of gialli, I've noticed that I tend to favor the ones with stronger mysteries. I found the identity of the killer to be obvious and all of the attempted red herrings to cheap and forced. There is one pretty interesting twist, mostly in that you expect a certain character to be the protagonist, only for them to be unceremoniously killed off around the half way point and replaced by someone else. Ennio Morricone scored a lot of gialli, but this might be some of his best work within these types of films, with a soundtrack that's strange, erotic and mysterious. The main theme would later on appear in "Amer", which was an arthouse homage to Giallo filmmaking. While I thought Giancarlo Giannini's performance as the inspector was very good, his characterkind of sucked. He's constantly expressing concern that he's not cut out for the job and... he's right. This movie relies way too much on the "I'll tell you everything I know... tomorrow, because surely something bad won't happen to be tonight" and the Inspector falls for it twice, leading to pointless deaths. The script can be pretty lazy that way, with the titular reference being forced in there for the hell of it, even though there's no implication that the killer is using it as a motif. The ending was bad too, with a weak information dumb as to the killers motives. I don't know if it's the writing or editing, but large chunks of the narrative appear to be missing, sometimes leaving me confused and unsatisfied. Otherwise, "Black Belly of the Tarantula" is just another giallo, complete with everything you would expect out of one -- lots of brutal violence, nudity, stylish camerawork, experimental direction, a misogynistic streak, amateur sleuthing, some surrealist set pieces, a title with an animal theme, etc. It's aight.

2.5/4     

*Haunter (2013)* is not just a good movie, but it's one of the few horror flicks out there anchored by a strong script. The genre usually relies on direction, cinematography, editing, music, etc. with the screenplay existing to serve as a platform for thrills and chills, but the best part of "Haunter" is its storyline. The characters are well written and their situations are interesting. The way the story unfolds is compelling and the twists are a unique take on an old -- albeit reliable -- formula. "Haunter" even manages to go beyond thrills and chills, by tugging at my heart strings from time to time. Unfortunately, I can't really elaborate on the plot without indirectly spoiling anything, which other descriptions tend to do. I think it's best to go into "Haunter" blind. The only real flaw, in my opinion, is some of the more misguided use of special effects, which sometimes made the movie feel like a TV production. I also didn't find it to be very scary, although it's certainly suspenseful. 

3/4 

*Super Shark (2011)* is one of the better examples of this "bad shark movie" trend that seems to have slowed down, albeit while still lurking underneath the waves of low budgeted cinema. Don't get me wrong, it's not a good or inspired film... nor is it even really entertainingly bad, outside of a few moments -- which includes a silly 'Super Shark' theme song and a battle between the titular shark and a mech. But "Super Shark" is pretty short and fast paced, with a cast who appear to be enjoying themselves. I was consistently... mildly... amused, I guess. At the absolute least, I never grew bored or impatient. If you like "Sharknado" and its kind, you should enjoy this.

2/4 
*
Waxwork (1988)* is a very 1980's horror flick, complete with a cheeky sense of humor, stellar practical effects, creature designs reminiscent of other genre films from the decade and Zach Galligan. While I wouldn't call "Waxwork" satirical, it is very referential, showing that "Scream" definitely was not the first horror film to do this. There are also a lot of genre friendly cameos for fans to appreciate. The story doesn't always make sense and at times, seems like it's making plot developments on the fly to justify certain set pieces, but I did enjoy all of the set pieces. The cast is all having fun and the characters even undergo some impressive development. The effects work is usually good and when it's not, at least they're comically bad (the wax museum burning). I think the biggest problem with "Waxwork" is that relies so much on sending up or homaging the classics that it fails to really stand out on its own. I might've been entertained, but even though I just watched it last night, I've already forgotten about a lot of it. There is a sequel, which I will eventually cover as well. 

2.5/4 

_and currently in theaters..._

*Knives Out (2019)* might just be my favorite movie of the year, even though I always have to emphasize that "favorite" does not mean "best". "PARASITE" or "The Lighthouse" probably deserve that title, at least from the movies that I've seen so far, but what can I say? I'm partial towards murder mysteries, especially ones modeled after the works of Agatha Christie and "Knives Out" is an exceptional example of its kind. The mystery itself is clever because it plays with our expectations, so even though I correctly guessed parts of the reveal, I was admittedly off the mark in regards of the final twist. But when all was said and done, the foreshadowing made the answer as clear as day, even though the script successfully kept me distracted from the truth. This is how a good murder mystery should unfold. I hate it when they're too transparent or when they cheat to surprise us.

The characters are all a lot of a fun. They're all hiding secrets; all have potential motives and they're all morally dubious, while having enough humanizing moments that you don't want to just immediately dismiss them... Or maybe they're likable, but they have just enough shadiness that you don't feel like you can trust them. The cast is all having a blast, with a few standout performances. Ana de Armas somehow breaks through, even when surrounded by all of these established stars and dramatic heavyweights... and I'd happily continue to follow the adventures of Daniel Craig's Blanc. He's my favorite kind of eccentric. "Knives Out" certainly has suspense, but it's mostly light hearted. The dialogue is very witty and both I and my fellow audience laughed a lot. Any flaws? Honestly -- not really. I suppose some characters could've been fleshed out, but that might've derailed the pacing, which is fast enough without feeling rushed. I was thoroughly entertained and hope we see a resurgence of these types of films. We have enough super hero flicks. We have enough gritty thrillers and ghost stories, so I think we need more old fashioned murder mysteries.

4/4 

_and for some entries that had already been posted in the "Martial Arts" review thread. _

*The VelociPastor (2018)* is everything I want out of these super low budgeted, deliberately cheesy, schlock-fests, even though this is obviously significantly cheaper than most of its contemporaries. I've grown so weary of these kinds of films, because most of them try to get by on their (admittedly fun) titles alone, with the actual movies being strangely formulaic and dull. You can tell that the filmmakers involved with "The VelociPastor" are genuinely trying to deliver a fun experience and probably even have a certain amount of talent at their disposal. The acting is obviously terrible, but there's a sense of comedic timing to the stilted delivery of the dialogue, even though the cast is technically 'playing it straight'. I was always laughing my ass off at their ridiculous reactions or bizarre lines. The special effects are supposed to be awful, but it's hard not to smile when the final transformation resembles a f@cking Halloween costume -- that resembles a T-Rex more than it does a raptor. Yet there are a lot of genuinely funny jokes, with one exchange going something like this --

(the titular Pastor is angsting over his curse, confiding to a fellow Priest)
"Father, what if I told you that I was different?"
"You're not that different. There are plenty of men like that in the Church". 

Once again, I think it's so much funnier how the actors deliver these lines with the straightest of expressions, yet it still feels like a joke. The concept of a Priest transforming into a dinosaur is absurdly comical enough, but the filmmakers take it even farther by revealing that there is a sect of the Catholic Church who employs f@cking ninjas -- with thick Australian accents! The fight scenes are about as badly choreographed as you would expect, although the climax has everyone throwing themselves around with so much gusto, embracing the "Ninjas Vs Raptor" gimmick to its fullest, that it might as well be a little... just a little... good? Nah, it's still bad, but props to everyone for trying and keeping things amusing. The gore effects, which are quite cheesy, are more reminiscent of Troma than this new wave of Asylum garbage, so they complimented everything nicely. "The VelociPastor" is a lot of fun, but I will admit that the second half started to lose some of its momentum. It fires back with a crazy finale, but most of its best material comes from the first half. 

3/4

*The Black Lizard (1981)* is about your typical wuxia hero investigating the mystery of the 'black lizard' legend, which might be the cause of strange happenings plaguing the area. Chor Yuen revels in convoluted plots, but I thought this was pretty easy to follow, even though it has the normal amount of twists, turns and double twists found in so many of these stories. There are some eye brow raising moments, but I actually thought the mystery was quite inspired, with a few imaginative ideas that could only ever work in a wuxia flick. The presentation is reminiscent of a horror flick, with lots of moody visuals and an emphasis on spooky atmosphere. Yet the sword fights are still common and are quite good, mixed in with supernatural techniques that once again, are prevalent in Chor Yuen's works. The only real downside is that it's occasionally a little too campy for its own good, with some bad -- albeit shocking -- lizard effects and an ending that straight up made me laugh. Yet I live for these genre mashups and I thought "The Black Lizard" blended mystery, sword fighting and spookiness in a satisfactory way. 

3.5/4

*Web of Death (1976)* stands out amongst Chor Yuen's works by being... uncharacteristically hokey... If "The Black Lizard" was a respectable movie that occasionally dabbled in schlock, "Web of Death" is schlock that occasionally dabbles in respectability. There are a few genuinely impressive sets that are awash in surreal colors and the fight scenes are nicely staged. Yet you're not going to remember any of them, because they're all upstaged by the amazing spider effects. There's going to be some sort of tournament involving all of the martial arts clans, but the spider clan has their own secret weapon... a Tarantula that shoots out laser webs! If that sounds amazing to you, then just imagine how much better it is when you see all of the bad effects surrounding this beast. But do you know what the best part of it is? The acting. The cast is all doing their absolute best to sell us on this absurd concept. They look genuinely afraid when encountering the spider, so you get the amazing visual of the worlds greatest martial artists nervously surrounding this adorable looking tarantula; weapons shakily raised; sweat falling from their brows. It's hilarious seeing these classic stoic kung fu archetypes showing so much fear, especially as the actors and actresses are taking something so stupid so seriously. But do you know what? That kind of stuff kept me consistently entertained. I had a blast with "Web of Death", which arguably is more memorable than a lot of Chor Yuen's better works. 

3/4


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## Gerjaffers786 (Dec 7, 2019)

I have heard of Omega Man.


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## MartialHorror (Dec 19, 2019)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - "" series review.

"Universal Soldier" was dismissed by critics as 'just another Jean-Claude Van Damme movie' and underperformed at the box office. This was unusual, because being 'just another Jean-Claude Van Damme' movie was usually very profitable, as Van Damme was one of the most popular action stars during this time period. His movies were never critical darlings, as they prioritized violence over plot, but people flocked to the theaters anyway and "Universal Soldier" was just as violent and action packed as the rest, yet it failed to lure in audiences.

Still -- this was not the start of his eventual box office decline, as his subsequent films were financially successful. So why did "Universal Soldier" stick out as his one misstep? More bizarrely, how did it become Jean-Claude Van Damme's 'fallback' franchise once his movies stopped making money? We discuss this and more for the 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' coverage of the "Universal Soldier" saga, which includes --

-- "Universal Soldier (1992)"

-- "Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms (1998)"

-- "Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998)"

-- "Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)"

-- "Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2010)"

-- "Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)"'


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## MartialHorror (Jan 2, 2020)

*Shakma (1990)* takes place in a locked down hospital, where a group of med students are brutally murdered one by one by a killer... baboon!? Say what you will about the movie, but that's a new one. Even though baboons can either look adorable or silly, they're notoriously aggressive and dangerous, a fact that "Shakma" exploits to its fullest by using a real baboon -- although prosthetics are obviously used when it's causing physical harm to the human characters. This ends up being somewhat of a mixed bag though, as even though the scenes of it freaking out are alarming, some of those close-ups are too cute to be scary. Furthermore, while the movie moves at a fast pace, there does reach a point where it becomes apparent that the filmmakers are running out of ideas. There's only so much you can do with this kind of wild animal, as eventually scenes of it slamming against a door, as its prey desperately tries to keep it closed will start to get old. Nevertheless, I appreciated the "stunt casting", as I'll probably remember "Shakma" in the long run for that reason alone. This isn't to say that the rest of the movie sucks though, as the human cast are good and there are some shocking moments. "Shakma" obviously took some bloody risks and I was much more entertained than I thought I would be.

2.5/4 

*Midsommar (2019)* is one of those horror films that is so high brow that it sparked a discussion as to whether it's actually a horror film, for surely such a genre is beneath its greatness. The directors previous masterpiece, "Hereditary", underwent a similar evaluation. I normally roll my eyes at such snobbery, but this might be one of the few cases where these critics aren't... entirely... wrong. To sell "Midsommar" as a horror film is a little misleading, but to say it isn't a horror film is also misleading. This is a lengthy, slow burn affair surrounding a troubled couples stay at an isolated commune. Much of the content is built around the drama of the characters, with an underlining feeling that something... is wrong here... This has some of the best character writing I've seen in awhile and the director keeps the audience on edge in different ways, utilizing an unusual aesthetic for a film so bleak. The problem -- for me, anyway -- is that "Midsommar" can only end in one way. I think most people will quickly predict where it's going, although this isn't to say that the conclusion isn't effective. It elicited the desired emotions, but I think the difference between "Midsommar" and "Hereditary" is that the latter legitimately shocked me. I never knew what to expect from that one, so I spent my viewing experience for "Midsommar" alternating between feeling the unease... the creeping feeling of dread... and waiting for the movie to catch up with what I already know will happen. 

3.5/4 
*
The Land that Time Forgot (1974)* blurs the line between impressive and laughable so seamlessly, that I couldn't really tell you if "The Land that Time Forgot" is good or bad. The movie has an interesting set-up, taking place during World War 1 where the Germans and the allies must team up when stumbling upon a land filled with dinosaurs. There's a lot of puppet work and a lot of it looked kind of cool, even if the composite shots were usually terrible. Nevertheless, when the special effects failed, at least they failed with charm. I had a good laugh at those stiff looking pterodactyls, but at least I was having fun. I liked the colorful sets and even the hokey writing, especially when it starts to enter some grim territory that I was not expecting. Unfortunately, "The Land that Time Forgot" is a little too slow paced for this kind of adventure story. Every shot of the dinosaurs lingers for far too long, reminding me a lot of those Ray Harryhausen movies, where the movie would stop to show off its special effects... except these weren't worth showing off. Sometimes I'd be like "Oh, that's awesome" and then it would start to look really bad because the effect is on screen long enough to notice the flaws. Other times I'd find a bad effect funny, only for it to linger so long that it lost all amusement for me. Nevertheless, I am strangely fond of these kinds of films. The budget might be low for a high concept such as this, but the ambition is there. I respect that.

2.5/4 

I feel like I should adore *The Demon's Rook (2013)*, for its an ambitious, imaginative throwback to Italian horror from the 1980's, drawing much of its inspiration from the likes of Lamberto Bava's "Demons". The movie is packed with LOTS AND LOTS of gore effects, which are sometimes shockingly gruesome, other times hilariously campy, but always appealing in their own ways. The acting is bad, but all they had to do was some worse dubbing and then this would've been true spaghetti horror! The direction even contains some stylistic flourishes, as befitting the genre. Yet the story explores some unique territory as well, standing out as its own entity. So why did I spend so much of my viewing experience soooo bored? The story might be unique, but the narrative is just bad. The problem is that seemingly every scene follows a new collection of victims, who exist to be human canvasses for the special effects wizards. At first, I was enjoying myself, but it grew tiring after awhile. "The Demon's Rook" often feels more like a demo reel for gore effects than it does a movie. "Demons" is also a bloodbath, but it establishes its cast who we will follow throughout the rest of the movie, making their deaths much more memorable. Nevertheless, I still have to applaud "The Demon's Rook" for how much it achieved with very little money to work with. It definitely is going to become a cult favorite and deservedly so, even if I'm not amongst its followers. 

2/4 

*I Sell the Dead (2008)* is one of those quirky, darkly humorous horror films and I thought it was pretty consistently amusing, with the occasional belly laugh mixed in. You can definitely tell this was low budgeted, but the writing cleverly works around it, focusing more on the bizarre characters of this increasingly bizarre tale. Even though one twist is obvious, the movie doesn't really treat its reveal as anything shocking, taking the wind out of the sails of pompous critics like myself. "I Sell the Dead" is a good movie, definitely worth a watch.

3/4 

*Seoul Station (2016)* is the animated prequel to the great South Korean zombie flick, "Train to Busan". I always struggle with reviewing 'anime'... and yes, I know that it's not a Japanese production, but it's pretty much anime... as I just don't follow the medium enough to separate good and average animation, etc. I like that it had a raw, very traditional aesthetic, reminding me a lot of those super violent animated flicks from the 1990's. I actually spent most of the movie thinking this was awesome, with riveting action scenes, brutal death sequences and lots of emotion. At first, I struggled adapting to the broad performances, but... that's anime for you... and eventually I began to think it heightened the drama. BUT THEN the movie royally f@cks up with a twist that's just awful. It not only stops the movie dead in its tracks with how nonsensical and stupid it is, but it also makes everything proceeding it a little worse. I still liked "Seoul Station" as a whole. It's a fun thrill ride, but that twist definitely derailed it at the end. 

3/4 

*Agatha Christie's Endless Night (1972)* isn't really a horror, even though it sometimes draws inspiration from the genre. In fact, despite being billed as a murder mystery, we don't actually get a body until the 3rd act. The story surrounds a charming but poor dreamer, who wins the heart of a rich girl and suddenly has everything he's ever wanted. Yet he must traverse the perilous waters of her disapproving family, while... something bad... lurks upon the horizon. While slow, I thought the characters were well written, acted and their dynamics were often suspenseful. The twist is also pretty good, even though I think the movie gets greedy and spends too much time explaining everything. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 8, 2020)

MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2019 --

Before I begin my own personal list, I should warn you that I don't see as many movies in the theaters these days, so many acclaimed films have yet to find their way towards me. There are also certain movies available to stream that are on my 'to do' list, but because of my convoluted way of choosing what I watch, I haven't gotten the chance to check them out -- such as "Dolemite is my Name" and "The Irishman". I was going to see "1917", but instead continued my Christmas tradition of being sick... I need to seriously find a new way of celebrating the holidays.

As always, this is my own personal list, which is why I like to refer to it as "my favorite" and not "the best". The good news is that I didn't really see anything I hated this year, with even the ones that had me bracing for impact, -- such as "Dark Phoenix", being more underwhelming than bad.

9) It: Chapter 2 -- This disappointed a lot of people, but even though I agree that the narrative wasn't as sturdy as the first, the movie showcased one incredibly horror set piece after another, while making me laugh and sniffle at the same time. I think this might be the most underrated movie of the year.

8) Ready or Not -- The only reason this is lower on the list is because... I actually had forgotten about it... but when it popped back in my head, I remembered having a blast. This is one of those wickedly violent thrillers that keeps you laughing and cringing at the same time.

7) Joker -- A dark, slow burn psychological thriller, relying mostly on Joaquin Phoenix's chilling performance as the titular 'Joker'. I'm a big fan of 'comic book films', but I've grown too used to their formula, so it's refreshing when one tries something new. This movie somehow struck a nerve with the masses, making people uncomfortable to the point of stirring controversy.

6) Us -- This was another disappointment to some, as it's not quite as sturdy as "Get Out" and has a flawed ending, but I think I liked this a little bit more. The music, the eccentric performances and the balance of humor and terror gave the film its own distinct personality. Even some of its flaws somehow end up going full circle and end up becoming kind of endearing. I loved all of the characters too, making me more invested in their plight.

5) The Avengers: Endgame -- This is more of an "event" than it is a traditional movie, which is the case with most of the 'Avengers' flicks, but what an event! As a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I thought this was a very satisfying ending to such an epic saga. There were so many great interactions, boasting the charm, humor and spectacle one has come to expect out of an Avengers flick, but there is heart to be found here. The ending threatened to make me cry.

4) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- I'm a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino's style, from his quotable lines to his excessive art direction to his explosive violence... and even his controversial creative decisions... "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" is quintessential Tarantino, but it's arguably more refined as there's more character development than usual.

This is the trickier part of the list, as the final three all deserve #1 in their own ways.

3) The Lighthouse -- This MIGHT be the best movie of the year, at least among the ones in this list. It's very slow and artfully made, but immersed me in ways... I actually don't like being immersed. I felt like "The Lighthouse" was making me feel exactly what its characters were feeling. I often found myself shivering from the cold, even though the theater was warm. There were times when the music would pluck my nerves, putting me on edge. I sometimes felt the urge to yell along with the characters and left the theater feeling shaken. This was an entirely new experience for me and is probably better than #2 and #1 for it, but I'm afraid to revisit it for the same reasons it's so good. I don't know if I want to go through that again. Incredible movie though.

2) PARASITE -- I'm a huge fan of the director, whose entire filmography seems to be comprised of "best of the year" entries. This is an odd film that marketed itself off its greatness, because it doesn't really fit a single genre. It's sometimes a dark comedy, it's sometimes a nerve wracking thriller. I spent most of the screen-time not sure what was going to happen next. Beyond that -- great acting, direction, editing, writing, etc. I actually think this is better than #1 on this list, but not quite as good as #3, but I rated it higher because the writing is so layered that I feel like I'll notice something new after every watch. Unlike "The Lighthouse", I want to see this again to find such things.

1) Knives Out -- "PARASITE" and "The Lighthouse" might be superior works of cinema, but "Knives Out" has one major advantage over them. I really, REALLY, love these kinds of murder mysteries... and "Knives Out" is an exceptional example of its kind. It has everything I want out of them, from as an interesting cast of suspects, played by great actors who are given a lot of room to perform to their fullest to witty dialogue to shocking twists. I've really grown to appreciate Rian Johnson, who finds unexplored territory in familiar genres. The campy direction is a perfect fit for an Agatha Christie-styled murder mystery. This is just my favorite kind of movie, so "Knives Out" became my favorite movie of 2019.

MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF THE DECADE (2010-2019)

Before I begin, I should warn you that this will always be a flawed and incomplete list, as I went through so many films that I'm not going to remember everything I watched, especially as I seem to be gravitating towards films that don't register with mainstream American audiences. Furthermore -- some of these movies might not even be my #1 pick of the year. Everything here is something that redefined my tastes in some ways, or at the absolute least, is something I can pick up and watch at anytime. I usually don't pursue movies more than once, so that's a big deal for me. But some movies that I love need to be revisited again before they ever find their way on this list. Others I simply need to gestate on for awhile. Once again, this is my list of FAVORITES, not what I consider to be 'the best'.

6) It Follows (2014) - This movie freaked me out because it tapped into my fear of being followed. I used to work the night shift, but loved going on walks, forcing me to do so after the sun went down. Sometimes another night prowler would would be out, walking behind me at a distance and I'd wonder if I was about to get robbed. Sometimes I wondered if they thought I was going to rob them. "It Follows" did not help these feelings one bit. Some have complained that the "rules" are inconsistent, but I think that makes 'it' scarier. I've always assumed that the rules were self imposed, with the seemingly contradictory moments being 'its' way of telling us this.

5) What We Do in the Shadows (2014) - This movie wasn't just very funny, it was funny in unpredictable ways. A character would either have a reaction I wasn't quite expecting, or would drop a hilarious line so dryly that I'd almost miss the joke, only to stop the movie a few minutes later to get my laughing under control. Then I would rewind it as watch it again.

4) The Hateful Eight (2015) - I'm a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino and "The Hateful Eight" has all of his quirks, stylistic flourishes and polished techniques that one would expect from the movie. But this is also a "closed circle murder mystery", arguably my favorite kind of film... set during a blizzard, my favorite kind of settling... and it's a period piece, more specifically, a western. I love it when my favorite genres take place in other time periods. This movie just seems like it was made for me. Amusingly, "The Kingsman" got the #1 spot in my 2015 list and while I still love it, I've never really revisited it like I did with "The Hateful Eight".

3) Unthinkable (2010) - This received mixed reviews and was dumped straight to DVD, yet amusingly, it was the reception that made me appreciate the movie that much more. Michael Sheen plays a terrorist who has been detained by the Government, but claims he's planting three nuclear bombs that are set to go off. Carrie-Anne Moss is an FBI Agent investigating the case and Samuel Jackson plays an interrogator. The movie deals with torture and whether it should be used to extract information. Many commenters didn't like that the movie doesn't really answer the question of whether it's right or wrong, but that's why I loved it. It lets the audience decide, reinforced by its ambiguous ending. I love movies that make me think that way. "Gone, Baby, Gone" is another one that had be questioning what is right or wrong, but that was the last decade.

2) I Saw the Devil (2010) - An intense, exciting and nail biting thriller from South Korea about a serial killer who finds himself preyed on by a rogue special agent after killing his fiance. The action scenes are stylishly staged and choreographed. The suspense makes you uncomfortable and every confrontation is satisfying. Yet I think my favorite aspect of this is how bizarre and darkly humorous the story can be, such as how seemingly everyone in this city seems to be some sort of pervert or serial killer -- or their victims. There's also the possibility that the agent might becoming the monster he's fighting. Great stuff. This actually inspired my first script.

1) The Wailing (2016) - Another South Korean film, this actually scared me. The strange thing is... it starts off more comedic than scary, with the protagonist engaging in goofy shenanigans and having the funniest reactions to grisly or spooky stuff. Yet it turns out that the humor is meant to disarm you for how dark and terrifying the story is about to become. Yet what elevates it over most horror flicks -- even great ones like "Hereditary" or "The Conjuring" -- is that there's a lot of subtle nuances within the story you might not catch the first time. Disturbing implications, creative foreshadowing, every time I've watched the movie I've noticed something new or different. There's a lot of stuff up for debate surrounding the motivations of the characters. I could write essays on my own theories. Not everyone will 'get it'. My Dad certainly didn't. The movie runs much longer than horror usually does, being over 2 and a half hours long, but I was so enthralled I only noticed... before I actually started watching it... "The Wailing" isn't just my favorite movie of the decade, it's probably in my "Top 10 favorites of ALL TIME".


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## MartialHorror (Jan 10, 2020)

I recently signed up for SHUDDER and most of these films I'll be discussing throughout the next few weeks were streamed off of that platform. 

Adam Wingard's *The Guest (2014)* has garnered so much acclaim from horror fans, that some have even labelled it one of the best films of the DECADE. I thought it was pretty good myself and Dan Stevens definitely turned in a standout performance as the titular 'guest', but best of the DECADE? I don't get it. Even the much lauded climax, which everyone made out to be the craziest thing ever, didn't really jump out as especially unique or crazy. It's definitely a thrilling climax, a satisfying pay-off to what was a solid build up, but somehow I let expectations determine how I viewed "The Guest". Like I said, it's definitely a good one, certainly Adam Wingard's best, but I didn't have the same strong reaction everyone else seems to have had. 

3/4 

I struggled getting into *Noroi: The Curse (2005)*, a Japanese 'mockumentary' surrounding a missing professor's investigation into the paranormal, primarily because I found the plot to be confusing and I wasn't sure whether or not this was supposed to be comical or creepy. Yet eventually I adapted to its style and ended up finding "Noroi" very compelling. It's amusing, disturbing, weird and even scary, boasting a pretty interesting lore that I'm surprised wasn't expanded into a sequel. 

3.5/4 

*Terrified (2017) *is a horror film from Argentina, titled "Aterrados" and it might be one of my favorite films of the DECADE. In hindsight, there are some unsatisfying resolutions to some of the characters, but "Terrified"... er... kind of terrified me? There is a lot of creepy imagery, effective jump scares and yet the implications -- the terrors we don't actually see -- surrounding some of the fates of the characters left me shaken. Even more impressively, "Terrified" showcases some horrified ideas that I don't know if I've ever seen before... at least in that way... One horrifying segment surrounding 'a body' really freaked me out. This is definitely a 'must see' for all horror fans.

4/4   

*One Cut of the Dead (2017)* is a Japanese 'found footage' zombie film that's impossible to describe without ruining, so I'll be as vague as possible. This is a very campy, goofy zombie flick about a film crew making a zombie movie, only to be assailed by the real deal. Despite going for some 'so bad, it's good' kind of vibes, it's one of those "seemingly shot in one take" experiences. I started to suspect where it was going, but even then, I was sort of surprised when all was unveiled. The middle block does drag a little and... where it goes... will probably alienate a lot of people, but I find the subject matter to be interesting, so I had no problem changing gears. It's not for everyone, but you can't deny the heart and love that went into it. 

3.5/4 

*3 From Hell (2019)* is a sequel to "House of 1000 Corpses" (which I hated) and "The Devil's Rejects" (which I loved) and... well, it's definitely a Rob Zombie movie. It has the same flavorful dialogue, the same bizarre characterizations, the same adoration of 1920's cinema and the same mean spirited violence, all for better or worse. I often find his films to be... unpleasant, I guess... I've become wary of films with monstrous protagonists and "The Devil's Rejects" was the exception because of its cathartic ending and "3 From Hell" chose to undo that ending, which now makes me love "The Devil's Rejects" a little less. Good or bad, there is absolutely no reason for this movie to exist... and unfortunately, I'm leaning a little more on "bad". There isn't really a plot, as the first half of the movie is dedicated to a prison escape, while the second half of the movie is just... there... and it doesn't help that "3 From Hell" echoes "The Devil's Rejects" a little too closely. There are too many scenes with similar set-ups. There's a home invasion that's reminiscent of the "motel" sequence, except it's not as good because the 'victims' are assholes this time around. The climax will remind you of the Sheriff's quest for vengeance, except we spent the entirety of "The Devil's Rejects" building up to their confrontation, while his 'stand-in' here is introduced past the half way point. So yeah, I didn't really like "3 From Hell", but it's not devoid of merit either. The cast is all in top form, being over-the-top in just the right way, with everyone leaving an impression. The special effects team craft some truly nasty gore effects and... even if I find Rob Zombie's films to be unpleasant, you can't deny they have personality. His style is definitely his own and I do appreciate that. 

2/4 

*Tigers Aren't Afraid (2017)* isn't really a horror film, but it's cut from the same cloth as "Pan's Labyrinth", being this creepy dark fantasy where you aren't sure if there's something supernatural occurring or if we're watching a child mentally retreat into their own demented fantasy world to escape from their much worse reality. This is a Mexican production and the setting is an abandoned city that has been ravaged by Mexican drug cartels, with the protagonists being young children who've been orphaned in the conflict. It's pretty dark stuff, but the drama is powerful and the real tension comes the orphans being terrorized by human traffickers. Oddly, I thought the supernatural stuff was somewhat lacking in comparison, but "Tigers Aren't Afraid" boasts a strong story and I'm curious to see what the filmmakers do next. 

3/4 

and currently in theaters --

*Underwater (2019)* was OK, although I wonder if I made the right call seeing this instead of "1917". A few years ago there was a movie called "Life", which was panned by everyone for being an "Alien" clone, but I actually enjoyed it because I miss that specific formula. If it had been released in the 1980's, I probably would've also shrugged indifferently because there were a lot of films like that at the time, but this decade favors cheaper, safer ghost/demonic possession stories for its horror output. If anything, "Life" stood out as original amidst all of the "Annabelle" knock-offs that now comprise of the entire genre. I bring this up because "Underwater" is reminiscent of all those "Alien rip-offs under the Sea" films also from the 1980's, which were produced because everyone assumed "The Abyss" would be the next big blockbuster... and apparently they also assumed it would be "Aliens" with an underwater setting... but almost all of them failed at the box office, while "The Abyss" was regarded as a disappointment (at the time). I've always been fond of this trend, garnering plenty of enjoyment out of the likes of "Leviathan" and "DeepStar Six". So already "Underwater" has an advantage over me, as I found myself feeling strangely nostalgic. I miss this formula too...

The first half is actually pretty good. The action begins almost immediately with one intense, thrilling disaster sequence. Everyone seems to be complaining about the 'thin characterizations', but these movies usually rely more on the cast than the writing for the characters and I think everyone performed well. Kristen Stewart is a surprisingly endearing lead, although T.J Miller's comedic relief was hit-or-miss. His acting is pretty good, but sometimes the jokes were distracting. I found the various obstacles and dangers they faced to be nerve wracking, partially because the cast sold me on their fear. The second half definitely is weaker than the first, mostly because it relies too much on the murkiness of the ocean depths and disorienting editing. I thought this initially worked in tandem with the suspense, but once you see the creatures, it starts to get frustrating because it's so confusing. There reached a point I couldn't tell who was who, or what was going on. The ending was pretty silly too, with some of Stewart's narration sounding like the movie suddenly thinks it's being... deep... Nevertheless, even the flaws didn't bug me too much, because the movie moves at such a fast pace that there's no time to dwell on them. The kills are surprisingly brutal for a PG-13 rating too, so that was cool. I enjoyed "Underwater" enough, although I'd say it's worthier of a rental than the price of admission. 

2.5/4


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## Mider T (Jan 12, 2020)

@MartialHorror


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## MartialHorror (Jan 24, 2020)

All I knew about *The Head Hunter (2018)* prior to streaming it on SHUDDER, was that it was about a monster hunter, set during medieval times. More specifically, I was under the impression that he was a viking, earning his keep through slaying mystical beasts. I was ultimately taken aback by the experience because "The Head Hunter" is nothing like I was expecting it to be based on the concept. It's actually a very slow paced, sombre affair with minimal dialogue and a story that's told almost entirely through visuals. This isn't necessarily art-house horror, but it's definitely avant-garde in its presentation. While I did sometimes grow impatient with its repetitive nature throughout the first half of the movie, I was continuously impressed with its creative use of a low budget. The imagery has power, while both the monster and costume designs pop out, even though you see very little of them in action. Speaking of which, most of the actual monster slaying is off-screen, so don't expect a lot -- or any -- spectacle. The second half is very atmospheric and creepy though, with a conclusion that legitimately crawled underneath my skin.

3/4

*House Shark (2017)*, which is literally about a killer shark whose hunting ground is some dude's house... is not your typical 'bad shark' movie. Most of them usually aspire to be aired on the syfy channel, so their formula leaves little room for graphic violence or explicit sex, because television is lame that way. They also usually favor really shitty CGI effects, which used to be amusing, but has become so prevalent that all of these movies have begun to look too much alike. But "House Shark" is even cheaper than them, so they use crummy puppet work and a man in a shark costume for the bulk of their effects... which I much prefer over bad CGI. I simply find it funnier and prefer it when it feels like the cast are actually interacting with something. The filmmakers obviously had no interest in getting their movie aired on television either, as "House Shark" has graphic nudity and some pretty disgusting gore effects, all wrapped in an overdose of political incorrectness. I really did enjoy this movie in parts, as the humor could be both clever and unpredictable, often thanks to its willingness to offend. But comedies -- ESPECIALLY of the 'so bad, it's good variety -- should never overstay their welcome and "House Shark" is too f@cking long for its own good. It's obvious when the filmmakers realize they've stumbled upon something amusing, because then they just will not let the joke die so laughter often would curdle into a groan, even within the same scene. I think I would've loved this movie if it was 80-90 minutes, but it clocks in much closer to two hours long, losing a lot of its appeal.

2/4

*The Stuff (1985)* is one of the movies that helped make Larry Cohen a 'Master of Horror', at least amongst B-movie fans. I'm not as familiar with his work as I probably should be, having only seen this, "Q -- The Winged Serpent" and his "Masters of Horror" entry ("Pick Me Up"), although I recognize a lot of the titles scattered throughout his vast filmography. I've seen more of his screenwriting output, even though his directorial efforts have lingered longer within the genre's collective memory. "The Stuff" is OK, being more of a comedy with some horror flavoring. The humor ranges from broad to satirical, sometimes being clever and amusing, other times being a little annoying. I watched this with my sister, who found Michael Moriarty's character to be obnoxious, but I thought he was easily the best part of the movie (same with "Q"). He's a weird character and Moriarty is having too much fun playing him. There are some gruesome, albeit campy, effects work and a few startling moments. But overall, I thought the movie was just kind of average, albeit in an eccentric way. I had a similar reaction to "Q -- The Winged Serpent". Both movies had a handful of great moments, but for the rest of the time, I was just kind of waiting for said moments to happen.

2.5/4

*All the Colors of the Dark (1972)* is classified as a 'giallo', sort of drawing attention to the vagueness as to what a giallo actually is -- a style? A genre? A collection of films from the 1970's? All of the above? I would say "All the Colors of the Dark" is a 'devil worship' film that's stylized like a giallo, or perhaps it's a giallo modeled after a 'devil worship' film. I guess it doesn't really matter, as it's a pretty bizarre example of either kind of film, but it's also pretty damn good as both. The cast is great, with Edwige Fenech somehow being very sympathetic, despite partaking in a characterization I normally find frustrating. She makes so many bad decisions, yet you really want everything to work out for her. If "All the Colors of the Dark" is indeed a giallo, then it's probably one of the very few where the characters undergo development, which made this much more emotionally involving. But don't worry, "All the Colors of the Dark" is still very suspenseful and creepy, with the director managing to elicit multiple reactions at once. The movie blurs the lines between sexy and repulsive, exciting and harrowing, sometimes disturbing seamlessly. The narrative also keeps you guessing as to what is real or what is imaginary, keeping you in the same mindset as its character. This often makes the questionable writing easier to swallow. I thought this was a very interesting experience, albeit one that's definitely not for everybody. 

3.5/4

*Amsterdamned (1988)* is the Dutch answer to gialli, about a serial killer attacking people in the canals (!!) of Amsterdam. I really loved the setting, as it can either be gorgeous or seedy, simply depending on how the director frames and lights the scene. There is some good suspense to be found here and the kills are effectively brutal, albeit relying more on your imagination than actual effects work. But "Amsterdamned" probably deserves to be remembered for its awesome boat and car chases, which utilizes the location in the best possibly ways, while also showing incredible -- yet dangerous -- stuntwork. Those scenes were riveting, arguably being the best examples of their kind, even upstaging comparable set pieces in much bigger budgeted films. The character writing was pretty subpar though, even if some of the encounters were still well written. The genre thrives off of shady characters, with the protagonist usually drowning in their own personality flaws themselves, but something about "Amsterdamned" was even more off-putting. I think a lot of it is how shitty of a Father our protagonist is, as he seems more interested in romancing the female lead than keeping an eye on his daughter. He lets her go around, doing whatever she wants, even though he knows the canals aren't safe. There is no pay-off to this either and I found myself wondering  why she was even in the movie. That kept me from investing myself further into the film, so I could only enjoy it from a superficial level... although to be fair, I usually enjoy gialli for their style, not their substance and "Amsterdamned" has plenty of that. Even better, the setting gives "Amsterdamned" its own unique kind of style, making it stand out much more than other gialli or their throwbacks.

3/4  

*Belzebuth (2017)* is a Mexican production, although much of the dialogue is in English and there are a few American actors, such as Tobin Bell. Apparently this is a spiritual sequel to a movie called "Pastorela", but that looks like it's a comedy, so that's a pretty bizarre connection to have, as this is a pretty dark horror-thriller. I thought "Belzebuth" had a pretty good story, with plenty of unique ideas and a few scary -- or at least creepy -- moments to make this worthwhile for horror fans. It blends a police procedural with demonic possession, a marriage I would love to see more of, as I've grown tired of the routine possession formula. There even reaches a point where I was unsure as to what would happen next, but the characters aren't always easy to like and there are too many hokey moments to maintain its creepiness. Nevertheless, "Belzebuth" is the type of horror movie that strives to be something different without being pretentious. The setting is very atmospheric, making me much more interested in pursuing horror films from Mexico.

3/4


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## reiatsuflow (Jan 24, 2020)

Thank you thread for reminding me about tigers are not afraid.


I was waiting for that movie and then forgot about it. There's so much content these days


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## MartialHorror (Jan 31, 2020)

Even though I don't usually discuss mini-series' or TV shows, I want to give a special mention to Season 1 of *Creepshow 
(2019)*, which is available to stream on SHUDDER. There are 12 shorts within six episodes, each about 20 minutes long, which overcomes the usual pacing problems that haunt most anthologies. There are also a variety of them, some relying more on grotesque effects work, others being more psychological. Some are creepy, some are silly, but all of them are stylized in that spooky... campy... pulpy... '1980's horror' comic book kind of way that made the original 1982 movie so memorably appealing. While not every short is great, I didn't think any of them were bad and the good ones popped out as especially fun. I was pleased to see one of my favorite Stephen King short stories, "Grey Matter", finally be adapted and it was worthy of the source material. I think my personal favorite was "The House of the Head", which somehow kept me invested, despite having the silliest concept imaginable. But it was a really fun show overall, not overstaying its welcome or exceeding its reach.

I feel like I should like Dario Argento's *Tenebrae (1982)*... or "Tenebra"... or "Tenebre"... or "Unsane", depending on what cut or spelling variation you get, much more than I actually do. Argento at this point had been making supernatural horror films such as "Suspiria", so "Tenebrae" marked his formal return to gialli. While it wasn't as successful at the box office, "Tenebrae" is now considered to be one of Argento's best films, even though I think it's a little... f@cking dumb? Make no mistake, I do still enjoy the movie. I actually liked the majority of the characters, especially thanks to some inspired casting choices (Anthony Franciosa and John Saxon are great). The kills are imaginative and brutal, with one standing out as shockingly bloody near the climax. Argento's style is somewhat more refined here, being less showy than usual. A lot of his techniques would be emulated in Hollywood films, especially by Brian De Palma. I'm not a fan of the aesthetic though. Gialli thrived on seedy, shadowy locations, but Argento instructed his cinematographer to keep the scenes as brightly lit as possible. His reasons are actually pretty interesting, as he wanted a semi-futuristic look and thought it would be scarier if the lighting seemed more natural. I appreciate the different approach, but... I like my gialli's locations to be drenched in shadows and darkness. It's a personal preference for sure though, as obviously not everyone agrees with me. 

Even though I found the characters to be surprisingly involving, they make a lot of stupid mistakes and the story is pretty disjointed, albeit in a bizarre kind of way. At one point, the story diverts into 'nature gone wrong' territory when a girl is suddenly attacked by a dog. It's a very thrilling seen, even if it only exists so she could stumble upon the killers layer. Actually, there are still a lot of good scenes, even though they don't always make sense. One victim is killed in a crowded area, in the middle of the day, which seemed out-of-place with the killers motivations... but it was still suspenseful. The dumbest scene also contains the films best moment. A girl seems to hear the killer's creepy voice and responds by... taking off her f@cking shirt... I suspect that the implication was that she didn't hear the killer, or that the voice was inside his-or-her's head, but it was a badly done moment... Awesome crane shot though. "Tenebrae" is still a good giallo, I just don't think it's as good as "Deep Red", "Suspiria", "Inferno", "Sleepless", "Opera" and the list goes on, although that just goes to show how awesome Dario Argento was during this time. 

3/4 

*A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) *has been described as the first "Iranian Vampire Western"... because it's set in Iran, surrounds the exploits of a vampire and is both stylized and scored like a spaghetti western... But it's really an 'arthouse horror' flick, which is usually not my thing. Like most of its ilk, the presentation is impressive. The cinematography, music, acting, etc. pop out beautifully, but... but... I actually really liked this. Yes, the pacing is slow and much of the story relies on nuance, but my beef with most 'arthouse horror' flicks is that they're more about 'theme' than character or story. I found the characters here to be really interesting, so I found their individual stories that will inevitably collide to be interesting. 'The Girl' (Sheila Vand) somehow manages to be sexy, scary, sympathetic and pathetic all at once. She's very unpredictable, so I could never really feel at ease with her. 

3.5/4 

*The Awakening (2011)* has a strong set-up... interesting story; good cast who seem invested in the material; photogenic location; plenty of creepy moments. It's set during World War 1, about a female hoax exposer (Rebecca Hall) who's hired to investigated paranormal sightings at a boarding school for boys. It has pretty good first half, but the more the story unfolds, it starts to fall apart... The twists become derivative, the dialogue begins to sound hokey and the scares lose their power. It's still a handsomely produced film and the good outweighed the bad, but I ended the viewing experience a little disappointed. 

2.5/4 

*Manborg (2011) *is one of those deliberately cheesy, 'so bad, it's good' kind of movies. I wouldn't categorize it as either horror or martial arts, even if it does showcase gruesome effects work and plenty of fight scenes. The special effects are obviously going to be bad, but props to the filmmakers for trying out a different kind of bad. "Manborg" is stylized like a video game, so the presentation is at least different. The dialogue is written to sound ridiculous and the actors deliver their absurd lines in either the most over-the-top or comically wooden ways imaginable. It's pretty crazy and I laughed a lot, but as is the case with most of these movies, I started to grow numb after a certain point. "Manborg" is short, but does run out of steam before the climax. Bizarrely, the filmmakers would go on to do the surprisingly good and very serious horror film -- "The Void".

2.5/4 

*The Lift (1983)*, also known as "De Lift", is from the director of "Amsterdamned". It's a Dutch horror film surrounding a killer elevator. This is an entertaining film, but throughout a lot of it, I couldn't figure out why. It's kind of funny, but doesn't tell any good jokes. It's kind of creepy, but also a little cheesy. The acting is good, but the characters aren't always likable. Yet for some reason, it all comes together surprisingly well. It's nicely paced, doesn't require you to take it seriously but you can still become invested in what's going on. The finale does increase the tension to surprisingly unbearable levels. In fact, I'd argue that most of the film was just OK, but the 3rd act elevated... it... to the next level -- okay, I swear that pun was unintentional. 

3/4

*Boar (2006)* is an Australian creature feature about a mutant boar that goes around killing people. This was pretty entertaining. I liked that they usually relied on practical effects for the giant boar and the design is quite menacing. The gore was good and the outback setting was nice to look at. I actually found myself liking the inconsistent tone for... some reason... The movie is generally light hearted and pretty amusing thanks to the easy going chemistry of the cast, but sometimes it gets surprisingly dramatic. I actually like it when characters have strong reactions to the deaths, as it gives a greater weight to them. Unfortunately, "Boar" makes the critical mistake of killing off its best characters around the half way point. I did have a soft spot for Nathan Jones, who gets to be charming and funny for once. His acting only falters... oddly... when he doesn't react to some of the deaths. This might be more on the director or editor though, as he sometimes didn't seem to know exactly what he was reacting too. Also, was it just me or did chunks of the story seem missing? They set up some ideas and constantly ask how a boar could be this big, but they're left ending... and the ending was definitely a cheat too. Oh well -- I thought "Boar" was fun enough. It makes me want to finally check out "Razorback", which has a similar concept. I saw clips of it once and it looked pretty cool.  

2.5/4


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## reiatsuflow (Feb 4, 2020)

I can’t believe it took me this long to see under the skin, probably because I don’t really like scarjo, but great haunting movie and scarjo was excellent. Still thinking about it.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 21, 2020)

When it comes to really old movies, I'm somewhat... clinical... in my approach to them. The classics are usually good, but I rarely feel enthusiasm or excitement because I believe storytelling and film-making techniques have evolved so much since then. James Whale's *The Old Dark House (1932)* is a definitive exception and I was surprised how much I ended up liking it. The movie has a compelling set-up, where a handful of eccentric strangers are forced to take refuge in a... old dark house... that's inhabited by a mysterious and creepy family, who harbor some potentially deadly secrets. I thought the story was very well written, as I spent half of the movie unsure where exactly it was going. Whale patiently builds up tension between the characters, but I had no idea where it would ultimately lead. The characters themselves are all interesting, with the cast -- who include Charles Laughton, Ernest Thesiger and Boris Karloff -- all having fun in their roles. "The Old Dark House" also bathes in that 'dark and stormy night' kind of atmosphere, with the cinematographer doing a great job of making the titular house as spooky as possible. Finally, what is a 1930's movie without a healthy dose of camp? This can harm a film... at least in the context of watching it in 2020... but I thought it allowed the actors to be over-the-top enough to keep things fun. My only complaint is the love story, which is actually a pet peeve of mine amongst most of these older films. Because cinema was considered purely escapism back then, audiences were enthralled with the idea of spontaneous romance. But I always find it hard to swallow when a man meets a woman and... 20 minutes later they're already talking marriage... Nevertheless, it's a small part of "The Old Dark House", so I was able to move past it.

3.5/4

*Madhouse (1981)* is a pretty cool slasher, one that I've never actually heard of before... although in my defense, "Madhouse" is such a common horror title that it's possible I had and simply confused it with another one. I nearly deleted this from my list because I had assumed I simply forgot to remove the Vincent Price film of the same name from my personal queue. This is about a woman whose birthday is fast approaching, but her evil twin sister conspires to ruin it by murdering all of her friends. Most of the kills come from the twin's equally evil canine, who rips open throats, tears off limbs, etc. and they're quite gruesome. There's also some good suspense, although it does start to get a little silly during the finale, when a big twist -- that I thought was obvious -- is revealed. Nevertheless, even that was an entertaining kind of silly. Special mention goes to Patricia Mickey, who was very endearing as our heroine.

3/4

*Madman (1981) *is a... less cool slasher... albeit one that has developed a cult following over the years. Apparently this was originally going to be about the urban legend of the Cropsey maniac, but the filmmakers learned that it was already being done in "The Burning", so had to make up their own lore. I wish the title was "Madman Marz", as I feel that would pop out as more memorable, but it's not like the movie itself stands out as particularly memorable either. It's a campground slasher, where the counselors are preyed upon by a super strong killer. I'm fond of these kinds of movies, so "Madman" has some points in its favor by simply existing. The kills are OK, there's some decent suspense and some inspired, atmospheric visuals. There are also a few twists that I did not see coming. The acting is bad, however, even by the standards of the genre, not helped by the idiotic character decisions. Furthermore -- "Madman" can be frustratingly slow paced, with seemingly every scene being stretched out as far as possible for time. It's only really worth watching if you're a slasher fan, but it has enough merit that I would say it's a definitive watch if you are.

2.5/4

*Hands of the Ripper (1971)* is remembered as being one of the last good films from Hammer Studios and while I can't verify this, because I haven't seen what came afterwards, it's definitely a good one. The story is that Jack the Ripper is killed, but his traumatized daughter Anna (Angharad Rees) continues his killing spree, albeit not entirely of her own free will. Is she being possessed? Or is she mentally disturbed? Good cast, inspired direction, suspenseful interactions. The movie is pretty edgy for the time period, with bloody kills and disturbing implications. The concept at times is hard to swallow, as the Doctor (Eric Porter) takes her into his home in order to study -- and hopefully "cure" her of -- her murderous compulsions. I guess I can buy him covering up her murders for the 'greater good', but he takes no precautions to protect his own family, even though he's supposed to be more sympathetic. But sometimes you just have to accept a faulty concept to get the most out of it.

3/4

*Tales from the Crypt (1972)* is adapted from the comic that would eventually become the iconic TV series, although this crypt keeper (Sir Ralph Richardson) is nothing like the rotting, wise cracking host we've become accustomed too. He's just an old dude in a black robe, who speaks methodically and... *sigh*... cryptically. This MIGHT be the best horror anthology of all time, or if it isn't, then it's at least my favorite. A group of strangers get lost in catacombs, where they encounter the crypt keeper, who relates tales of how they will die... Or perhaps, how they died? I love the over-the-top gothic imagery and soundtrack, with the theme song being Bach's iconic "Toccata & Fugue in D minor". The film is coy as to whether the "protagonists" are dead because of their wicked ways or will die as the result of them, but it works because even though they're all assholes, they all have enough redeeming qualities that either 'ending' will be satisfying. Either they can heed the warnings and become better people, or if the fiery pits of hell await them, then their doom has a greater impact. The stories are paced together smoothly, even though too many of them perhaps relied a bit much on 'rising from the dead' and the cast is in top form. "And All Through the House" have some questionable writing, but it's upstaged by nail biting suspense and beautiful Christmas themed imagery. "Reflection of Death" is probably my least favorite because it relies mostly on its ending, but it's a good ending, so 'least favorite' is still pretty damn solid. "Poetic Justice" also relies on its ending, but I like it more because Peter Cushing plays against type as a kind, eccentric old man who's too lovable for his own good. His performance made me a little misty eyed. "Wish You Were Here" is a take on "The Monkey's Paw" and it's surprisingly f@cked up, even if its ending doesn't make a lot of sense in hindsight. Still incredibly disturbing though. "Blind Alleys" is very suspenseful and cringe inducing in the best possible way. You can see how "Tales from the Crypt" would go on to inspire other anthologies, but it doesn't feel dated at all. If anything, they draw attention to how much better this is.

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 21, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> *Hands of the Ripper (1971)* *is remembered as being the last good film from Hammer Studios* and while I can't verify this, because I haven't what came afterwards, it's definitely a good one. The story is that Jack the Ripper is killed, but his traumatized daughter Anna (Angharad Rees) continues his killing spree, albeit not entirely of her own free will. Is she being possessed? Or is she mentally disturbed? Good cast, inspired direction, suspenseful interactions. The movie is pretty edgy for the time period, with bloody kills and disturbing implications. The concept at times is hard to swallow, as the Doctor (Eric Porter) takes her into his home in order to study -- and hopefully "cure" her of -- her murderous compulsions. I guess I can buy him covering up her murders for the 'greater good', but he takes no precautions to protect his own family, even though he's supposed to be more sympathetic. But sometimes you just have to accept a faulty concept to get the most out of it.
> 
> 3/4



What? That's crazy talk. Dracula A.D. 1972 and The Satanic Rites of Dracula are two of the coolest vampire flicks ever, Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell is fantastic, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is super cheesy and silly, but also super fun, Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde rules supreme, Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter are easily top 5 Hammer Horror movies ever. Yeah, Hands of the Ripper was most definitely not the last good Hammer Horror movie, Not even close.

But with that out of the way, I completely agree on Hands of the Ripper. Superb film, and incredibly overlooked. Not idea tho, as Peter Sasdy was a great director and made some truly magnificent movies.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 21, 2020)

Uncle Acid said:


> What? That's crazy talk. Dracula A.D. 1972 and The Satanic Rites of Dracula are two of the coolest vampire flicks ever, Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell is fantastic, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is super cheesy and silly, but also super fun, Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde rules supreme, Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter are easily top 5 Hammer Horror movies ever. Yeah, Hands of the Ripper was most definitely not the last good Hammer Horror movie, Not even close.
> 
> But with that out of the way, I completely agree on Hands of the Ripper. Superb film, and incredibly overlooked. Not idea tho, as Peter Sasdy was a great director and made some truly magnificent movies.



I haven't seen any of those. After watching it, I checked all of my review sources to see what everyone else thought and they said that. I've heard good things about "Satanic Rites of Dracula" and "Captain Kronos" though. Didn't realize that came out afterwards.

I actually need to expand my Hammer Horror knowledge. I've only seen the Frankenstein movies, the Mummy movies, some of the Dracula movies, Curse of the Werewolf, Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll, Hands of the Ripper and... Ummm.... The Woman in Black. There are probably others, but I can't think of them right now. I have a lot on my 'to do' list.

Edit: I edited that review slightly.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 27, 2020)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - "" series review. 

"Phantasm (1979)" was a low budgeted horror flick directed by Don Coscarelli and starring Angus Scrimm, Reggie Bannister, A. Michael Baldwin and Bill Thornbury, which underwent a chaotic production, endured disastrous test screenings, withstood polarizing reviews and... somehow emerged as a cult classic. The first sequel wasn't made until nearly a decade later, which was strange, as whatever success "Phantasm" had was upstaged by the slasher wave in the 1980's and it's not like the story left a lot of room for further exploration. Predictably enough, it was dismissed by critics and failed at the box office... and also emerged as a cult classic... Yet despite limited profits, dwindling budgets, increasingly bad reviews and a reliance on the same actors, Coscarelli expanded the "Phantasm" brand into five movies over the course of 40 years, only really stopping when... well, the cast started dying in real life... How did the film series not only last so long despite a lack of interest from general audiences and financiers, but also avoid the usual rot that plagues most franchises? We discuss this and more for the 'Compulsive Franchise Disorder' coverage of the "Phantasm" saga, which includes --

-- "Phantasm (1979)"

-- "Phantasm II (1988)"

-- "Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)"

-- "Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)"

-- "Phantasm: RaVager (2016)"


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## MartialHorror (Mar 1, 2020)

Joe Lynch's *Mayhem (2017)* is the sillier, more entertaining version of "The Belko Experiment". Both films are about the numerous staff of a big company being locked into their overstressed workplace, where violence inevitably erupts. You MIGHT end up preferring "The Belko Experiment" because it takes itself more seriously, but I thought "Mayhem" accomplished more of its own goals. It's bloody, action packed, funny, stylish and boasts a cast who are enjoying themselves far too much. A fun, fast paced ride.

3/4 

*Haunt (2019)* might have Eli Roth's name stamped all over the promotional materials, because the actual directors are mostly known for directing shorts. The name doesn't refer to any kind of haunting though, as it's a reference to 'extreme haunts', which is about the most irresponsibly stupid thing I've ever heard of... But it is real... You know those fun haunted houses you visit on Halloween? Imagine those except that the people in costumes are allowed to put their hands on you, even to the point of tying you up and waterboarding you apparently. "The Houses October Built" also touched upon this bizarre phenomena,  although the gimmick of "Haunt" is... what if those people in costumes are actually trying to maim and kill you? Shockingly, this wasn't 'torture porn', although some of the kills are certainly hardcore. It's not bad or anything, having just enough cool moments to be worth watching in the right conditions... although it's just dumb enough to be dismissed as a standard splatter flick. I was reminded of Rob Zombie's "31", except that movie stood out a lot more... and was also much more annoying... This was an easy watch, just not a particularly memorable one.

2.5/4

*Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)* isn't actually a horror film. It's more of a wacky, raunchy, teen comedy from the 1990's... that also happens to be REALLY gory, if you watch the right version. The concept is pretty amazing. Paul Walker and Denise Richards, who don't look embarrassed but probably were once they became famous, are a young couple who are constantly being pestered by her violent ex. Paul Walker eventually died, but a mad scientist puts his brain in the... get this... body of a robotic T-Rex. The movie is pretty lame, but it's also fairly nostalgic for someone who grew up in the 90's, so all of the fashions, cliches, etc. are on full display here. The special effects range from... well, it certainly looks like a robotic T-Rex... to charmingly terrible. But the unrated version showcases some really gruesome effects work. Anyway -- this is the type of movie you should probably only watch if you're going to mock it with some friends, preferably drunk.

2/4

*Viy (1967) *is a Russian fantasy-horror flick, one that was hugely influential and successful, even to this day... apparently... I know very little about that industry and only recognize both this name and story from seeing a more recent film called "Forbidden Empire" -- which was a very loose adaptation. Throughout the first two acts, I wasn't really sure what the big deal was. The film was pretty funny, but scary? Not really. The finale definitely humbled me though with its imaginative and ambitious effects work. For some reason, when it was all over and I was thinking about the movie, I started to appreciate it a lot more.

3.5/4

*Nekrotronic (2018)* can be summed up as "Ghostbusters" meets "The Matrix", except low budgeted and gory... and Australian... I enjoyed it, but when all was said and done, the movie promptly abandoned my memory banks. There's an interesting world here, but the story is very standard stuff. I was consistently amused, but I never laughed that loud. I was entertained, but no set piece or effect really blew me away. It was thoroughly OK.

2.5/4
*
Incident in a Ghostland (2018)* is from the guy who directed "Martyrs" and it's nowhere near as f@cked up or depressing as "Martyrs" was, but... that says more about how brutal of an experience watching "Martyrs" is, as this was pretty f@cked up and depressing itself. There's a lot of creepy imagery, good suspense and a stellar cast, along with a willingness to push the boundaries of our comfort zones. There's also a really shocking twist that actually made sense. But this is not an easy watch. Also, beware of one REALLY silly make-up effect that may derail the rest of the movie for you. I couldn't get invested in the finale because I was still laughing at that.

3/4

*The Cat o' Nine Tails (1971)* is regarded as one of Dario Argento's weaker efforts. There was even a time when it was condemned as his 'worst', although that "honor" now goes to either "Phantom of the Opera" or "Dracula 3D". I disliked "The Cat o' Nine Tails" when I first saw it during the time period when I was first discovering Argento's works, but now... I think it's more mediocre than bad. I had to seriously think about why this was too, as it technically has everything we'd want out of a giallo. It's very stylish and the kills are grisly, with at least a few very suspenseful moments. The cemetery scene was really well done. The characters are also interesting, played by a strong cast, who are given good dialogue. I ultimately came to the conclusion that "The Cat o' Nine Tails" ultimately collapsed underneath a rather boring story. I just watched this a few days ago, but I've already forgotten why people were being killed in the first place. When the killer is unmasked, my reaction to there identity was: "... Oh... It's that person" and it dawned on me that I hadn't even tried to solve the mystery. I think it would've worked better if Karl Malden's blind sleuth was the protagonist, as there's so much potential in building up suspense around him. He's the most interesting character and is set up to be the hero, but is demoted to a supporting role once the actual protagonist -- a standard newspaper reporter -- shows up. The actor who plays the reporter is good too, but it's a bland role in comparison, trying to get us invested in an even blander story.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 9, 2020)

*The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)* was originally written by feminist activist Rita Mae Brown as a parody of slashers and the director was respected editor Amy Holden Jones, making this one of the few slasher flicks from this time period created by women. But instead of developing a spoof, the filmmakers pushed for a more standard slasher feature... and that's what this is... I was actually taken aback by how sleazy "The Slumber Party Massacre" is, objectifying its female cast much more than the equivalents directed by men. There's a lot of nudity, with the camera perving out so often that it starts to feel like... well, they're spoofing themselves. There are a few leftover comedic moments from what I assume were part of the original conception. They're pretty amusing, but also feel somewhat out of place in a film that is usually taking itself too seriously. The kills are OK. The power drill provides some nasty effectswork, but eventually it starts to get a little repetitive. There's also decent suspense, but sometimes the pacing really lags and of course... there's a lot of plot induced stupidity, which might've been funny if this was a parody. I don't blame the producers for playing the film straight though, as it was probably too early to start lampooning the genre, but "The Slumber Party Massacre" is pretty average as far as slashers go. Nevertheless, it was successful enough to spawn two sequels and influential enough to have plenty of imitators -- and even actual parodies!

2.5/4 

*Vampire Circus (1972) *is a Hammer Horror film, developed during its experimental phase, where the studio was desperately trying to appeal to younger audiences. Most of these movies failed upon release, although they'd develop cult followings over the years. "Vampire Circus" was pretty damn good, although you can practically see the proverbial stitches from its behind-the-scenes trouble. The director was too much of a perfectionist for Hammer's business model, so went overbudget and fell behind schedule. This forced the production to shut down and he was told to make due with the footage he had, leading to some scenes feeling inconsistent with the rest... or not making any sense at all... But "Vampire Circus" is very suspenseful, arguably being one of the more nerve wracking of Hammer's vast filmography. I spent the bulk of the viewing not entirely sure good would triumph over evil, as the villains are larger than life, while the 'good guys' seem woefully out of their depth. They're likeable, but are more victims than heroes, which works in the films favor. The set-up alone is pretty creepy, with the principle town being quarantined because of a plague. When a mysterious circus shows up and people start vanishing, it becomes apparent that the towns dark secret has come back to haunt them. "Vampire Circus" is very atmospheric, blending the traditional gothic imagery with a psychedelic eroticism I'm not used to seeing from Hammer. There's a lot more violence too, with the scenes of mauled corpses standing out as shockingly disgusting for this time period. "Vampire Circus" is in my opinion, the definition of a flawed masterpiece. 

3.5/4     

You ever watch a movie that's decent, yet had the potential to be so much more than it was? *Let Us Prey (2014)* has all of the makings to be something exceptional, but settles for mediocrity. I love the concept. A mysterious stranger (Liam Cunningham) shows up at a dysfunctional police station, immediately creeping out both the cops and prisoners alike. He says very little, but seems to know far too much about all of their darkest secrets. As tension mounts, they start turning on each-other, while trying to solve the mystery as to who this guy is. The problem with "Let Us Prey" is that it blows its load too quickly. The characters are so cartoonishly unlikable that when we learn the extent of their depravity, it's not really surprising, as they behave exactly as you would expect someone that repulsive to behave. "Oh, this guy who looks and acts like a serial killer was a serial killer this entire time? WHO WOULD"VE THOUGHT!?". The mystery is solved around the half way point, so all that's left for us is to watch everyone die in... admittedly bad-ass and brutal ways. "Let Us Prey" definitely has teeth and the cast is good, with Liam Cunningham getting the coolest lines. Maybe my expectations deserve more criticism than the movie itself, but even though I was reasonably entertained, I was hoping for something more. 

2.5/4 

*Tourist Trap (1979)* is often erroneously categorized as a slasher, even though it was given a PG-rating by the MPAA, which sort of contradicts what a slasher actually is. To be fair, this was developed before "Friday the 13th" molded the genre in its own image, so it wasn't like "Tourist Trap" was aspiring to actually be a slasher, even if it drew inspiration from the same sources -- "Halloween" and "Psycho". It's not bad either, relying much more on the creepy mannequins than sex or violence. The characters are pretty stupid and the twist is laughably transparent, but I do love how randomly weird "Tourist Trap" can be. The villain doesn't just have a mannequin motif, he also has... psychic powers... for some reason. I am not complaining either, as it's those kind of quirks that keep "Tourist Trap" from being boring. I think my favorite aspect has to be famed composure Pino Donaggio's score, which is sometimes far too good for the movie itself. The music fits when it's subtle, relying more than those strange gasping sounds which accompany the mannequins. Other times it's far too epic and romantic, definitely having that distinct sound that only Donaggio's compositions have. It's a great score, but it doesn't always mesh with the movie... which I also find to be strangely charming in its own special way.

2.5/4     

*Death Line (1972)* was released as "Raw Meat" in the United States and was accompanied by a deceptive marketing campaign that promised a lot more naked women than we ultimately get... which is none... It's still a pretty good horror flick though. The locations are creepy and the director unveils them in pretty creative ways. Once again, I was taken aback by how gruesome it was. The remains of partially eaten, rotting corpses were especially gut wrenching, yet I thought the violence worked in tandem with the tension. There's a lot of harrowing and suspenseful moments that would've fallen flat without the nasty stuff. Even though Donald Pleasence and Christopher Lee are given top billing, the protagonists are a somewhat dull and annoying couple who don't really become active participants in the plot until the finale. Pleasence gets the 'meatiest' (bwahaha) role though as the Chief Inspector. He's kind of a dick, yet his antics are hilarious and his banter with everyone is golden. Lee only appears in a cameo, but at least it's to engage in a verbal duel with Pleasence, so the scene is still awesome. Even though I didn't like the young couple, I will admit that once the movie knows how to utilize them, their scenes became thrilling in their own right.

3.5/4

*Creepy (2016)* is a Japanese thriller from horror auteur Kiyoshi Kurosawa ("Kairo"), about a former detective whose 'creepy' neighbor might have a connection to a strange, unsolved case. It's not a horror flick, but is certainly... creepy... Quite frankly, the movie kind of f@cked me up with how good it could pluck the strings of my nerves. I sometimes felt like the movie was too long, but not so much because it's slow as much as it's... perhaps too suspenseful for its own good. The only real flaw is that the characters sometimes fall prey to plot induced stupidity. Great movie though. 

3.5/4 

*Rambo: Last Blood (2019) *isn't really a horror film, but the murky lighting, atmospheric locations and HARDF@CKINGCORE violence tell me otherwise... It's just a shame that the movie isn't very good. A lot of people condemned "Rambo: Last Blood" as a Trumpian fantasy, which I disagree with, although I do agree that the movie is a little tone deaf considering the current political climate. I don't think the movie is trying to make any kind of social statement as much as it was trying to... well, rip off "Taken". The story feels very rushed, with Rambo's more sorrowful moments being unearned because there's no time given to his character development. "Last Blood" occasionally stumbles upon a compelling idea, like when Rambo suddenly realizes he's now a fish out of water and pays the price for it. But like everything else, the story just brushes it under the rug and moves on before it can explore the idea any further. Even though the director is trying to be moody with the lighting levels, the aesthetic feels ugly and kind of cheap in the process. The movie does partially redeem itself during the climax though, which more-or-less becomes a demo reel of inventive ways to kill people. There's something viscerally satisfying about watching Rambo tear shit up.    

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 12, 2020)

*INFORMAL* COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER -- "_Female Convict 701 (1971-1973)_"

Even though I consider reviewing every franchise I binge watch, I decided I was not familiar enough with this genre to provide any real meaningful coverage of it... and I just don't have a lot to say... But I suppose I could throw a few words in its direction. From what I understand, there was this trend in Japanese cinema known as 'Pinky Violence', which usually surrounded rape and violence. As trashy as it sounds... and make no mistake, it was pretty trashy... these movies often had artistic flourishes, sort of blurring the lines between exploitative trash and arthouse cinema. Like I said, I'm not very familiar with these kinds of films and *Female Prisoner [HASHTAG]#701[/HASHTAG]: Scorpion (1971)* is a women-in-prison movie, a genre I'm equally unfamiliar with. The story surrounds Matsu (Meiko Kaji of "Lady Snowblood" fame), an incredibly dangerous convict who was framed by her corrupt cop of a boyfriend. She obsesses over vengeance, but most of the movie focuses on her surviving the hellish prison. Actually -- it's not quite that simply. By the time the movie starts, she has become a vessel for hatred, so much of the movie is really about the asshole prison officials trying and failing to break her. It's pretty bleak and unpleasant, almost resembling torture porn at times. My problem with women-in-prison movies is that it's often hard to tell if we're supposed to be repulsed or titillated by the exploitation, but "Scorpion" frames the nudity in such a way as to make the audience uncomfortable. The visuals are stylish to the point of being expressionistic, with a few set pieces popping out as breathtaking. But Meiki Kaji's terrifying performance somehow upstages everything else. Her death glare alone is worthy of the accolades she'd receive. The movie is still somewhat trapped within the confines of being part of the women-in-prison genre and you shouldn't watch it if you're triggered or offended by depictions of rape... or unflattering portrayals of men -- since people have been crying about that a lot lately throughout this recent wave of feminist-themed movies.

7.5/10

*Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 (1972)* is a prison break adventure, except it's staged like a horror flick. The setting appears to be some sort of volcanic wasteland, with abandoned villages covered in ash providing the escapees with some shelter. Seriously, where the f@ck is this prison supposed to be?! It's all stunning to look at though and while the movie trades out the flashiness of "Scorpion" with a moody atmosphere that legitimately creeped me out. The imagery is terrifying as it is beautiful... and Meiko Kaji continues to be as terrifying as she is beautiful. The movie is arguably even bleaker than its predecessor, as no one really seems particularly sympathetic. In the first film, you were on Matsu's side the entire time, but "Jailhouse 41" has her simply coldly watch as her fellow convicts terrorize people we aren't entirely sure deserve it. Then again, a lot of these same people are introduced having a gay ole time as one fondly reminiscences about the rape of Nanking... Even the women were laughing jovially at that, so I wasn't really sure what to feel. I was initially somewhat put off by the slow pacing, but the more I think about it, the more "Jailhouse 41" haunts me.

7.5/10

*Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable (1972)* is often regarded as the best of the franchise, but my feelings towards it are somewhat muted in comparison. This focuses on Matsu's struggle to adapt to the outside life, as she gradually runs afoul of the Yakuza and a detective who has a genuine grudge against her. While the movie is still very artfully made and I do like how they flesh out Matsu's character, giving Meiko Kaji a little more to do as an actress, I found the story to be convoluted and messy. There are too many characters floating around and I sometimes struggled keeping up with who is who. Once again, I was sometimes left unsure how I was supposed to feel about certain characters, which robbed me of some of the intended emotional impact. But it's still very good and would've made for a satisfying conclusion to the story, if they chose to stop there.

7/10

*Female Prisoner Scorpion: 701's Grudge Song (1973)* is often regarded as the weakest of the series, but... it is... The story has some promise, as Matsu encounters a truly rare specimen in this saga -- a sympathetic male figure. She even falls in love with him, circumstances drive them apart in the worst possible way. Apparently the budgets were being cut from sequel to sequel, but this is the first time it really shows, as there are fewer ambitious visuals. This is also partially because director Shun'ya Itô was replaced by Yasuharu Hasebe, who does an adequate imitation, but his own flourishes are more amusing than inspiring. There's this long drawn out scene of the love interest rolling around against the walls that I found especially funny, even though it was striving to be dramatic. The first half is at least somewhat interesting, as Matsu's love story is different and kind of cute, even though he seems to be the center of it instead of her. But then their romance abruptly ends and she returns to prison and the movie settles into a routine. Finally, the nudity feels much more unapologetically trashy than its predecessors. "701's Grudge Song" isn't necessarily bad, but it did leave a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. At least Meiko Kaji continues to be awesome.

5/10

There were technically remakes and rip-offs, but I don't really want to see any more of these, at least without Meiko Kaji. lol


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## MartialHorror (Mar 27, 2020)

*The Nightingale (2019)* was written and directed by Jennifer Kent ("The Babadook"), but even though it's not really a horror film, it does have a toe or two dipped in the genre. It reminded me a lot of "Mohawk", except with a budget and... is much better... The story surrounds an Irish widow who teams up with an Aboriginal tracker to hunt a corrupt British soldier in the early 1800's. This is a very grim tale, with very disturbing depictions of violence and racism and that might alienate mainstream audiences. I was taken aback by how even our very sympathetic heroine was not above the racism of her day, even if she obviously will undergo character development. But as depressing as "The Nightingale" can be, it does have a genuine emotional core to it and it's technically very well made. It's just... not an easy watch... 

3/4 

*Raze (2013)* is technically a martial arts flick, but the presentation feels more akin to the horror genre and I'm all for these kinds of hybrids. The fights are incredibly brutal and the violence is sometimes a little too convincing for comfort, but I appreciated the stylish flourishes, the occasional dabbling in camp and a very cathartic climax. It's just too bad that the actual ending sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. 

2.5/4    

*Prince of Darkness (1987)* is the second entry in John Carpenter's informal 'apocalypse' trilogy, following "The Thing" and proceeding "In the Mouth of Madness". While this was the only one to technically be successful during its theatrical run, it seems like the general public has forgotten "Prince of Darkness", while the other two have become cult classics. This is a flawed, but compelling movie. The pacing is even slower than usual, but Carpenter does an exceptional job at creating a strange, unnerving kind of dread. There are a lot of really disturbing ideas, like how the possessed characters seem to be somewhat aware of what's happening to them, even if they can do nothing about it. "Prince of Darkness" can be a little cheesy, but for some reason, it often heightened the creepiness. The idea of combining a demonic possession story with science fiction is a unique one, which might be why the finale feels like such a letdown. The first two acts were oddly original, but the conclusion is relatively conventional in comparison. It's still one of Carpenter's more underrated flicks though. At least it's different. 

3/4 
*
Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead (2014)* is an Australian Zombie flick and I was taken aback by how good it was. The budget might be low, but the filmmakers focus more on world building and character. It's actually quite a fresh spin on the genre. But it's also really funny, even if this lead to some tonal issues. You'll be bawling your eyes out one moment and then laughing your ass off the next. 

3/4 

I also watched some TV shows. 

*The Terror: Infamy (2019)* is about the haunting of a Japanese internment camp, although the story does go through a lot of detours and even genre shifts. This is technically the 2nd season to "The Terror", although the stories are completely unrelated. I LOVED the first season and consider it a masterpiece, so this already had big shoes to fill, but in the end it was... aight. There are some really good, spooky moments and the setting provides some interesting dynamics. The cast is all really good, with George Takei standing out as so exceptional that I lament he hasn't made more movies that showcase his mad skills. But the Father-son drama ended up being a big, smelly wet blanket on the season, as it made both of those characters really unlikable and the emotional pay-off didn't really feel worth it.

2.5/4

I never could get into "American Horror Story", but I decided to watch the 9th season -- titled *1984 (2019)* -- because it's a throwback to campground slashers. This definitely feels like "American Horror Story" though, for better or worse, as the plot is constantly entering bizarre and unpredictable territory, albeit cluttering itself with too many characters and storythreads in the process. Characters would turn from good to bad to good to bad again so quickly that it became difficult to tell how I was supposed to feel about them. At least this season had a sense of humor about itself though. I tried watching Season 2 ("Asylum"), which I'd agree was exceptional, but it's so freaking depressing that I couldn't take it. "1984" is nowhere near as good, but it's easier to binge. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 13, 2020)

*Mimic (1997) *was infamously the casualty of executive meddling by Harvey Weinstein, causing director Guillermo del Toro to effectively disown it. I remember seeing this as a kid and not knowing about the behind-the-scenes drama, instead just viewing it as the coolest movie ever. I was so pumped that I rented the two sequels upon release... and have never quite forgiven myself for doing so... In hindsight, "Mimic" does seem to be barely held together at the seams. The editing is sometimes rough and choppy, as if chunks of the story were being omitted. Some set-ups have no pay-off and the ending definitely feels tacked on. It's definitely no masterpiece, but... I still think it's a very entertaining ride. Even if underdeveloped, I think a movie about giant killer cockroaches works best when moving at a brisk run. The production values are so impressive that I grew nostalgic for that brief trend of the 1990's when horror movies had... *gasp*... budgets!? The special effects have held up pretty well, with even the CGI working because it's only used when practical effects simply weren't practical. The designs of the monsters were creepy and the set pieces are thrilling. Finally, even if the characters are weakly written, the cast (which includes Mira Sorvino, Charles S. Dutton, F. Murray Abraham and a young Josh Brolin... and even younger Norman Reedus?) is having fun. I had fun as a consumer, even if I do find myself wondering what del Toro's original vision for the project was like. Even though I've seen "Mimic 2", I can't remember a damn thing about it other than how boring it was. "Mimic 3" was a take off of "Rear Window" and it was better, but the concept is flawed because "Rear Window" functions as a mystery, while a "Mimic" sequel must be about giant cockroaches... and it can only end with one real reveal... I don't know if I want to really revisit either though.

3/4 

*I'll Take Your Dead (2018)* is the type of genre film you'd probably never go out of your way to watch, but if you accidentally stumble upon it, you'd be impressed by how solid it is. The concept is somewhat original and the filmmakers find a variety of ways to build suspense, sometimes even straying into different genres. In fact, is "I'll Take Your Dead" even a horror flick? The story surrounds a man and his daughter, who live on an isolated farm... disposing of bodies for gangsters... Except one of the corpses is actually not a corpse, leading to a moral dilemma. They can't just let her go, but they aren't murderers... nor do they fancy themselves kidnappers either. Some of the tension arises from domestic drama, as the daughter is showing some disturbed behavior, that the Father simply can't cope with. Then you have 'the victim', who might be guilty of bad stuff, but is definitely being held against her will. She's obviously going to try to escape, putting the family in danger... and possibly herself in danger... Then there are those who attempted to kill her, who will inevitably find out that they failed and will demand blood... This is all more 'suspense thriller' than horror, except the the house MIGHT be haunted by the ghosts of the 'disposed' and these scenes definitely belong in the genre. "I'll Take Your Dead" is pretty good and even when it stumbles, I always appreciated the inspiration behind said stumbling. The movie definitely deserves an audience. 

3/4 

*The Clovehitch Killer (2018)* is one of those suspenseful domestic chillers, about a boy who begins to suspect that his loving Father is actually a serial killer. The movie is very slow paced, but it does a good job at keeping the audience in a state of discomfort. Every interaction is somewhat awkward and hard to watch, albeit in a deliberate way that plucks your serves. Dylan McDermott is excellent as the Father, as he's likable, yet something is definitely off about him. Every time a character is alone with him, there's a sense of menace that makes him kind of scary, even though he's outwardly pleasant. If I have any real complaint, it's Charlie Plummer as the son. While he's usually good, I felt like he was too stoic in scenes that... in my opinion... required him to show more emotion. That stunted parts of the ending for me, as whatever catharsis "The Clovehitch Killer" was leading towards felt lacking -- even though the writing is technically fine. 

3/4 
*
Assassination Nation (2018)* wasn't really a success upon release, but it will definitely grow into a cult classic over the years. I was under the impression that this was "The Purge" for female audiences, but instead I was treated into a harrowing look into the darkside of social media. The characters aren't really likeable, but you feel like internet culture has morphed them into what they are... and the internet can f@ck you up if it wants too. I thought the first half was kind of terrifying for this reason, as it plays into the fear that a faceless person on the web can hack into your information and destroy you for seemingly no reason. I actually was convinced I was watching a modern day masterpiece... and then it started ripping off "The Purge", abruptly losing me in the process. The last forty minutes or so definitely have some merit, with a lot of stylish flare reminiscent of the 1970's and some suspenseful confrontations. But the first two acts felt like a stylized version of reality, whereas the climax just felt like was the conclusion to a completely different movie -- even if the opening scene blatantly says what's going to happen. In the process, some storythreads I found compelling were unceremoniously dropped (what happened to the Principal) and... it's just impossible not to think of "The Purge". The irony is that I still think the scenes reminiscent of "The Purge" is better than the entirety of "The Purge" franchise, but say what you will about "The Purge"... it did it first... "Assassination Nation" was doing so well as its own thing, that it's kind of sad to see it go down a derivative route. I still enjoyed it though. It definitely exceeded my expectations.   

3/4 

*Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974)* was developed when Hammer Film Productions was in decline, so were desperately experimenting to see if anything would stick -- nothing did and died by the end of the decade. "Captain Kronos" was a failure upon release, but has been reevaluated to such an extent that many have argued it's one of the studios finest efforts. Contrary to what reviews seem to claim, "Captain Kronos" is definitely a horror film, complete with grisly violence, creepy gothic imagery and suspenseful interactions. Yet it also has a sense of humor about itself and introduces... swashbuckling elements... of all things. I thought it was really good -- a sexy, stylish and witty film. There's a lot of creativity in the vampire lore, with one or two twists that I didn't see coming. The swordplay is also surprisingly well choreographed and how can you not love the sight of Kronos dual wielding a sabre and a katana. 

3.5/4   

*Villains (2019)* wasn't bad, but it was kind of disappointing. Bill Skarsgard and Maika Monroe play two bumbling thieves who break in the home of an old fashioned couple... of f@cking serial killers, played by Jeffrey Donovan and Kyra Sedgwick. The cast is great. Skarsgard and Monroe have a charming chemistry about them, making you almost forget that they're assholes. Skarsgard is obviously known for playing Pennywise in "It" and every time I've seen him in something else, he's usually sleazy (including in "Assassination Nation"), but he's pretty likeable here. Alternatively, Donovan and Sedgwick are so over-the-top and amusing that you almost forget how evil they actually are. This is more of a quirky comedy than 'horror', probably being tonally in line with something such as "Tucker and Dale Vs Evil"... except it's just not funny enough to really stand out. This isn't such a farce that there isn't any suspense. In fact, it occasionally becomes kind of disturbing, but once again... nothing really pops out. At times, the comedy and tension even seems to undercut each-other. "Villains" was not really a slow paced film, but I struggled getting through it for these reasons. Nevertheless, the eccentric performances keep it from becoming a bore. 

2.5/4   

*The Name of the Rose (1986)* was adapted from Umberto Eco's book of the same name, taking place in the 1300's and being about a sleuthing Monk (Sean Connery) and his apprentice (Christian Slater) attempting to solve a murder in a monastery. The novel is a fascinating, albeit challenging read that was clearly NOT written with a film adaptation in mind. So much of what makes it work is a historical context... the philosophical and religious debates... etc. They're what kind the source material its personality and Eco was arguably more interested in them than the murder mystery, but there was no way in hell a movie would be able to adapt all of that without putting its audience to sleep. "The Name of the Rose" focuses more on the murder mystery, only dabbling into history or religion when it directly relates to the plot, but without the context... it just doesn't work. Some characters motivations don't make sense, even though they do and say the same things they did in the book, because so much of the backdrop was omitted. The casting is also questionable. Sean Connery works fine William von Baskerville. Christian Slater is woefully out of place as Adso. With all of this said, I don't know if I'd call "The Name of the Rose" worthless either. For one, the production value really does pop out in a way I was not expecting. I imagined a much more mundane setting in the book, but every single set here looked awesome. Two, the director maintains a somewhat creepy atmosphere. The novel had its own way of creeping out readers, but the film strives for a harsh, grim aesthetic that works in tandem with the aforementioned sets. There's a TV mini-series that came out in 2019, which I haven't heard much about, but I don't know if it would work any better. Even if there's more time to flesh it out, the book has too many scenes of people just... talking... which sounds boring, but maybe they made it work? The 1986 film attempted to add more action to the dialogue for its climax, but even though said dialogue is technically accurate, it's pretty silly in the context of a chase scene. I suppose for an adaptation of a book that once again... could never be properly adapted... you could do a lot worse than "The Name of the Rose". I'm glad it exists, because I do love the book and I only read it to set up this viewing experience. 

2.5/4


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## Mider T (Apr 14, 2020)

Have you seen Zombeavers?


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## MartialHorror (Apr 14, 2020)

Mider T said:


> Have you seen Zombeavers?



Yeah, it's pretty fun.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 19, 2020)

*Phenomena (1985)* is another gialli by Dario Argento, albeit one that includes some of the more fantastical elements found in "Suspiria" or "Inferno". The premise is pretty interesting, being a murder mystery where the sleuths are... a bug expert (Donald Pleasence) and a young girl with a psychic link to insects (Jennifer Connolly)... As daft as that sounds, it actually makes a little bit of sense, as much emphasis is placed on maggots and how they feed on corpses -- allowing the experts to determine the time of death. Unfortunately, that's about the only thing that makes sense, as this is one of those examples where everyone has to do the most illogical things imaginable in order for the plot to advance. This didn't hold back "Suspiria" because the entire presentation for that film was built around a dreamlike atmosphere, but "Phenomena" has the same aesthetic, style and flow of any other giallo, which are usually slightly more grounded in reality, making the dumber moments harder to excuse under the guise of surrealism.

But hey -- that's all par for the course when it comes to horror, right? I still mostly enjoyed myself.

I'd describe "Phenomena" as very uneven. Some scenes are suspenseful and shocking, other scenes are cheesy and lame. Sometimes the acting and dialogue are good, other times they're bad. Pleasence's performance alternates between stellar and phoned in, possibly embarrassed by some of the lines he has to say. Connolly is very photogenic though and you can definitely see a star in the making. Even Argento's usually reliable style -- during this time period -- seems oddly inconsistent. "Phenomena" has plenty of scenes involving experimental flourishes and unusual POV shots, with a few genuinely breathtaking visuals mixed in with disgusting imagery. But then other times he seemingly finds the most boring placement for the camera and holds it for an unusually long amount of time. Was that a stylistic choice that simply backfired or was he out of ideas? Also, what was up with that rock soundtrack? It works once, but becomes distracting and out of place almost every time it starts blaring. On a positive note, "Phenomena" does boast some of the smoothest pacing I've seen in an Argento flick. Even when feeling annoyed or indifferent, I never grew restless or bored... even though the mystery is pretty lackluster. In the end, I was ready to say "Phenomena" didn't hold up very well, but that ending totally redeemed every shortcoming this movie had. I've seen this before, yet somehow I had forgotten all of the crazy shit that happens. I don't even want to describe it, as it's something that must be experienced. So even if "Phenomena" is very flawed to the point of being uneven, it has one hell of a finale.

3/4  

*The House that Dripped Blood (1971)* is a U.K horror anthology that features an exceptional cast, who includes Jon Pertwee, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Denholm Elliot and Ingrid Pitt, among plenty of other recognizable faces. Unfortunately, the anthology as a whole is kind of lackluster. None of the segments are necessarily bad... although none stand out as particularly good either... but they don't flow very well together. They're all paced in a slow burn way, when anthologies usually need to balance those with more thrilling shorts. I started yawning around the half way point. Individually, most of them struggle with the tone, as they seem to be taking themselves very seriously, but then suddenly become cheesy, which derails much of the tension. The best of the shorts is "The Cloak", because it's meant to be more comedic, so the cheesiness doesn't stand out as awkwardly. The cast in all of the episodes turn in good to exceptional performances though, with Jon Pertwee (also from "The Cloak") stealing the show. On another note, for a movie called "The House that Dripped Blood", the titular house barely seems to play a role in the shorts. The ending tries to explain this, but it seemed pretty forced.

2/4  

*Dead of Night (1977)* is another anthology, except this one was made specifically for television and it has developed a cult following over the years. This has only three tales, maintaining a short running-time, so the lag didn't hit me as much as it did in "The House that Dripped Blood", even though the shorts are also slow burners. The first one isn't even a horror story, feeling more like one of the sweater episodes of "The Twilight Zone". I was stunned when it ended, without any real tension, thrills or chills... as one would normally expect from a horror anthology. Yet it does contain a sincerity to it I found to be strangely charming. "No Such Thing as a Vampire" was a pretty intriguing vampire mystery, even if it didn't always make sense. I'm a sucker for gothic settings though. I initially struggled to take "Bobby" seriously, but it actually turned out to be pretty scary. I spent the majority of this anthology feeling it was OK, but it ends on such a strong note that I've decided to be more generous with the rating.

3/4

*Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)* is the weirdest... best... bad... slasher... that I personally suspect was a bizarre dream I had when I did too many drugs one night, because this can't be real. What. The. Fuck. !.?. I don't even know where to start with this one. The movie isn't even 80 minutes long, yet the killer doesn't even start attacking people until the final 20 minutes. The rest of the movie is dedicated to one of the survivors of the first film going to a... you guessed it... slumber party, where she starts to have strange premonitions about a rockstar murdering her friends. By the way, these 'premonitions' are taken from... the final 20 minutes, where the killer starts his slumber party massacre... so we're waiting a full hour to see what the movie has already shown us. There are also a few random special effect demos that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot, where a headless turkey springs to life and a girls face becomes deformed by a giant zit.

So this sounds pretty stupid and boring... right?

F@CK NO -- this was glorious! The acting is so campy and everything is so daft that I spent every waking moment of this movie in a state of fascination. I had absolutely no idea what would happen next. The killer is a greaser with a guitar that has a drill for a neck and he goes around doing musical numbers and killing people in mostly gruesome ways. The effects work is pretty good for a low budgeted film, but the editing is sometimes amazingly terrible, making me wonder if shots were missing. But sometimes the cinematography is pretty vibrant, popping ways the much more competent  (yet blander) first "Slumber Party Massacre" could only dream of. The final shot sort of embodies the film as a whole -- crude yet wild. Did I mention that the killer performs a musical number? HE PERFORMS A FUCKING MUSICAL NUMBER! It's so cheesy and so hilarious. If there was ever a movie that embodied 'so bad, it's good', "Slumber Party Massacre II" is it.

3/4  

*Dark Waters (1993)* is stylized after the Eurohorror films of the 1970's, recreating a similar aesthetic and even dusting off the type of storyline that was prevalent during the time period (nunsploitation!). It's actually surprisingly good. I was shocked to learn that "Dark Waters" was very low budgeted, as it showcases some really ambitious set pieces that have really good effects work. Every setting is eye popping in its beauty, yet creepy in its own gothic way. It doesn't always make sense, but... most of these kinds of movies don't. They're more about the atmosphere and "Dark Waters" arguably schools the lost genre in its own area of expertise. This is the first time I found nuns to be genuinely creepy.

3.5/4

*Howl (2015)* is a British werewolf movie that's... aight... The director is primarily known as a special effects supervisor and I wasn't surprised to learn that he worked on "Dog Soldiers", as you can tell that was the primary source of inspiration (especially as Sean Pertwee cameos). I was really impressed with the werewolf action. The filmmakers do a great job at keeping its beasts in the shadows, relying on creepy silhouettes and the occasional claw. The build-up was effective and when we get to finally see it, the design doesn't disappoint. They look pretty scary, don't feel as derivative as werewolves from other movies and the prosthetic effects were awesome. I also liked that the setting is... a train... the last place you would think for a werewolf to prowl. There's also one kill in particular that genuinely disturbed me. Unfortunately, the human drama all sucked. Everyone is annoying and stupid, all falling into the usual cliches that "Howl" didn't need to succumb too. To make matters worse, the script does make an effort to flesh them out, but it only made it obvious who was going to die next. There's a lot of good stuff to enjoy here, but you'll have to wallow through some bad to reach it.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Apr 26, 2020)

Have I never talked about *Kingdom (2019-2020)*, the South Korean equivalent of "Game of Thrones" that's available to stream through netflix? Shame on me, as it's phenomenal! It's a period piece, set around the year 1600, about a zombie plague that's spreading throughout Korea. There's a lot of political intrigue, surrounding heroic princes and shady ministers, with a treacherous plot that gradually unfolds... It's very interesting stuff, but I'd argue that it's more horror oriented than "Game of Thrones" was, focusing more on the characters surviving the plague in question. The zombies are quite scary and creatively designed, while the cinematographer knows how to make every visual either epic or creepy -- depending on what the scene demands. The characters are also well written, although admittedly this is one battle "Game of Thrones" decisively wins. I was really taken aback though by how thrilling the action scenes were. The choreography is stylish, while the battles involve awesome looking sets and a lot of extras, all creating a spectacle that somehow manages to be chaotic without becoming incomprehensible. Season 1 is a masterpiece. Season 2 is still really good, but is somewhat oddly paced. The first half prioritizes action over story, sometimes to the point of plot developments being difficult to keep up with. But then it suddenly slows down, which was jarring. I still thought it was riveting entertainment though and even though I made "Game of Thrones" comparisons, the only similarities are the political intrigue, the period setting and the zombie threat being wrapped up in one... Both shows have different aesthetics, styles and... this one lacks sex and nudity... so don't look into it too deeply.
Season 1: 4/4
Season 2: 3.5/4

The only reason anybody remembers *Wax Mask (1997)* is that it was nearly a collaboration between two of Italy's most infamous horror filmmakers -- Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci. Unfortunately, Fulci passed away only weeks before filming was to begin and he was replaced by Sergio Stivaletti, known for his special effects work on the "Demons" movies. This may technically still be a collaboration between Argento and Fulci though, as the former served as a producer and Fulci wrote the original script. But apparently Stivaletti made alterations to the script once he took over, although how much he changed seems to vary from source to source, as some claim that the finished product barely resembled Fulci's intended vision. The movie itself is pretty mediocre. The characters are really stupid and both the dialogue and dubbing are awful, even by Italian horror movie standards. The story is weak because it's using "House of Wax" as a template, but gets the order of... well, drama... wrong. It reveals who the villain is almost immediately, but still plays out like a mystery, as the protagonists seek to discover what the audience ever knows. They then throw in a tragic backstory, even though it's too late for the audience to generate any sympathy for the villain. The kills are pretty bad-ass though, boasting grotesque practical effects worthy of all the men involved with the production. I also thought the wax museum was pretty creepy. The finale is just straight up bonkers, relying much more on crude CGI and turning from a "House of Wax" remake to... f@cking "Terminator 2"? What?! To make things even stranger, the soundtrack is reminiscent of "Batman (1989)"... I actually kind of wish the entirety of "Wax Mask" was as daft as its finale, because while the quality technically drops... my enjoyment of it spiked. It's just too bad everything else is kind of dull.

2/4     

I had never heard of *Dead and Buried (1981)* until the poster caught my eye on SHUDDER, but it has apparently become quite the cult classic -- and is worthy of its reputation. The acting is somewhat campy, but somehow it has the right chemistry with the creepy atmosphere, making for an effective little chiller. The setting is a coastal town and its Sheriff investigates a series of violent attacks on tourists. The set-up is somewhat unconventional, so I won't say anything more about where the plot goes, but "Dead and Buried" has a really cool twist ending. Stan Winston did the effects work, so you know the prosthetics are going to be top notch, although they never upstage the suspense, atmosphere... or even the dry wit... of "Dead and Buried". This definitely deserves more attention; great stuff.  

3.5/4

*Over Your Dead Body (2014)* is one of Takashi Miike's ...experimental... kind of horror films, one you may either loath or love depending on how you feel about the more odd entries of his filmography. A pair of lovers are actors, preparing for an elaborate stage play adaptation of Yotsuya Kaidan, but their own personal problems start to resemble the characters they're playing. That doesn't sound scary, but "Over Your Dead Body" oozes of a foreboding atmosphere. The play itself seems to take up most of the screen-time, but it's quite chilling and fascinating, with the scenes focusing on the actors being tense and uncomfortable in a similar... yet different... kind of way. Miike does sometimes overindulge himself, with the scarier scenes being kind of silly, but it wouldn't be a Takashi Miike production without those odd little moments. He's arguably my favorite director and I usually love his weirder movies... and I thought this was a good one!

3.5/4 

*Theater of Blood (1973)* is regarded as one of Vincent Price's best movies, but I thought it was a little overrated. Don't get me wrong, it's still good. The movie boasts a great cast who are clearly enjoying themselves, as they're given lots of witty, meta dialogue. Vincent Price definitely turns in one of his wildest performances, where he gets to quote Shakespeare all the time with all the  gusto he can muster. His character also dons disguises and adapts a variety of personalities, with my favorite being a flamboyant gay man named Butch -- seriously, Vincent Price somehow manages to outcamp himself. I think I enjoyed "Theater of Blood" most when it's just focusing on the characters bantering with each-other. The kills are bloody, but it was kind of hard to get invested in them. It's about a Shakespearean actor named Lionheart (Price), who commits suicide after being slighted too many times by critics... except he survives and decides to get bloody vengeance upon them all. The problem with the story is it's hard to tell who I am supposed too root for. The critics aren't really likeable, but they aren't deserving of their fates while Lionheart is too pompous to be tragic. "The Abominable Doctor Phibes" has a similar format, but works better because Phibes has a genuinely sad backstory, while his victims are more sympathetic. Nevertheless, "Theater of Blood" is still fun stuff. The moment when Vincent Price and Ian Hendry engage in a fencing duel on f@cking trampolines left me in stitches. 

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Marvel (Apr 29, 2020)

Wow a dedicated horror fan. Nice to see.


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## MartialHorror (May 13, 2020)

I have a variety of horror movies to discuss today, ranging from arthouse to schlock. 

I hated Robin Hardy's *The Wicker Man (1973) *when I first saw it like 15 years ago, even to the point of preferring the much maligned remake starring Nicolas Cage. Yet I've wanted to revisit it for some time as I could remember it vividly enough that I felt like I was gradually beginning to understand the story it was trying to tell. On the surface, it's a mystery about a Police Officer (Edward Woodward) searching for a missing girl on an isolated island, run by Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee), but the story focuses more on the culture clash between the two. The inhabitants of the island are pagans with very liberal views on sex, while our beleaguered sleuth is a devout Christian with very traditional views on sex. This probably would stand out as strange for younger audiences -- including my generation, yet this was a serious subject during the 1970's, as the masses were still debating what was socially acceptable or not. What makes this interesting is that it's hard to tell whom you're supposed to root for at times, as Sergeant Howie comes off as a self righteous dick... but he's also genuinely invested in trying to save a girls life. The inhabitants of the island, on the other hand (especially Summerisle; Lee is having a blast), seem like they'd be a lot more fun to hang around, but they also might be planning on sacrificing a little girl. Besides the thematic material -- I've also grown more adept to what horror was during this time period. Audiences would've been used to the Gothic pictures, especially the ones popularized by Hammer and AIP. "The Wicker Man" is stylistically and tonally the antithesis of what was popular at the time, taking place during the day time with a relatively normal looking setting. It's kind of funny, as the remake embraced classic gothic architecture, but the original showcased an island that would pass as any other at first glance. Yet there's something 'off' about it, which puts you on edge. The music is whimsical and cute, not foreboding or intense, giving the audience a false sense of security. Even when the director would start building up tension, there's something disarming about his methods. Characters might cast suspicious looks at our hero behind his back or children with creepy masks start popping up in the background, but they're more mischievous than menacing... which makes the infamous finale that much more shocking. I don't want to go any further, but the ending is really what propels "The Wicker Man" into its status as a horror classic. I'm glad I gave this a second chance, as I certainly 'got it' this time. 

3.5/4 

*Leviathan (1989)* is a 'creature feature', produced during that brief time period when everyone thought "The Abyss" would be the next big thing... and apparently everyone assumed it would be "Aliens" with an underwater setting... as there were a lot of imitations that proceeded it. "The Abyss" technically performed well enough, but was a disappointment upon release, while everything that tried to prematurely cash on it failed both critically and commercially. "Leviathan" flopped like the rest, but has developed a cult following over the years, being the only rip-off anyone seems to remember thanks to Stan Winston's effects work and a very enthusiastic cast. The plot is simple, being about a deep sea mining colony stumbling upon a monster. Everyone says it's derivative of "Alien", but I think "The Thing" was a bigger source of inspiration. The cast includes Peter Weller, Ernie Hudson, Richard Crenna and Daniel Stern, although I recognized everyone else too, if only by their face. I appreciated that they don't treat the material as being beneath them and they all give their characters a lot of personality, which keeps the movie... afloat... throughout the first half of the story, which has very little monster action. I don't think this is Stan Winston's best work and honestly... I think "Alien" and "The Thing" had more memorable effects, but they're still pretty damn cool. I thought "Leviathan" was thoroughly entertaining, but it really lost me during the last 10 minutes or so. I don't think the ending on its own was bad, but it feels like it belongs in a different movie, being much cheesier to the point of having its heroes throw around one-liners. I do enjoy "Leviathan" though and have a soft spot for this brief trend of underwater horror flicks. If you also like this and want to try something similar, I'd also recommend "DeepStar Six". 

3/4 

*Escape from Tomorrow (2013)* boasts a very interesting gimmick, as it's an arthouse-styled thriller about a man who starts losing his mind in... Disneyland?! If you're wondering how the filmmakers convinced Disney to give them permission to film this dark premise in their parks, they... didn't. The cast and crew smuggled in the necessary equipment and engaged in some hardcore guerrilla filmmaking, with Disney being completely unaware what was happening underneath their noses. Unfortunately, the behind-the-scenes story is much more interesting than the actual story "Escape from Tomorrow" is trying to tell. The back-and-white photography does cast an eerie light on all the familiar Disneyland attractions, while the score is pretty damn good, almost sounding like a dark reprisal of a Disneyland theme song. But the characters are insanely unlikable, stupid and annoying and you'll hate every second you spend with them... which is only enhanced by how slow paced the narrative really is. As much as I give the filmmakers respect for shooting all of this footage in secret, the downside is that they can't really do... well, much of anything... at least without potentially endangering park guests or drawing too much attention to themselves... The end result is a movie where you just see the cast... walking around... and it gets really boring after about 10 minutes. The movie also has some delusions of grandeur, with faux symbolism and a weird attempt at social commentary that doesn't go anywhere. "Pretentious" is definitely a word you can use here, but there's also some odd comedic touches that almost made me wonder if "Escape from Tomorrow" wasn't taking itself seriously enough to fit that definition. Maybe it was a mockery of arthouse cinema? Either way, I was bored... but I don't regret watching it either, as I find the circumstances surrounding its development to be fascinating.

2/4   

*Killer Crocodile (1989)* is an Italian "Jaws" rip-off about a... killer crocodile... who terrorizes a tropical swamp that has become the dumping ground for toxic chemicals. Interestingly -- the main character is played by Michael Crenna, whose Father is Richard Crenna ("Leviathan"). I just think it's funny that I'd see them both in movies within the same week without even meaning to. "Killer Crocodile" is pretty bad, but it's an easy movie to make fun of. The crocodile looks really fake and goofy, but the filmmakers stage plenty of interesting scenes around it. There's one moment where the beast tears down a pier and a little girl is hanging off the side of it. A villager could've easily pulled her up, but instead decides to... hang off the ledge himself... presumably so he can be eaten instead. I laughed, but to the credit of "Killer Crocodile", it did get me with two decent jump scares. In my defense though, it has less to do with them being 'good' and more to do with them being so daft that I never could've never seen them coming. I expected the crocodile to attach the yacht, but how was I suppose to know that the thing can apparently fly? The scale of the beast makes no sense either, as sometimes it looks big, but other times looks the size of a house, with a few angles even giving us the impression that it's standing upright. All bad stuff, but once again -- I had a good laugh. What isn't funny though is how stupid and unpleasant the characters are. There were some talented people involved in the making of this, but very little stands out as actually good. The cast looks uncomfortable and wooden, not helped by even worse dubbing, although there are a few good howlers -- such as when the hunter gravely informs us that crocodiles hate being insulted. Van Johnson plays the obstructive authority figure, but even though he was a respected actor, his performance suggests he viewed the movie to be beneath him (it was). Riz Ortolani ("Cannibal Holocaust") was one of Italy's best horror composers, but his music here is just a flat "Jaws" imitation and it starts to grate after awhile. Giannetto di Rossi ("Zombie 2") is a fantastic makeup artist, but the gore here is just OK and... well, like I said, the crocodile is certainly not a triumph of special effects. Nevertheless, I'd take a fake looking crocodile prop over bad CGI any day. I'd recommend "Killer Crocodile" if you're in the mood to make fun of something, but I'd say it works better when watching with friends, especially if beer is involved.

2/4 

*Killer Crocodile 2 (1990)* is arguably just as bad as its predecessor, but unfortunately, it's not as good as being bad. The first film at least was fairly fast paced, with a fake looking crocodile attack lurking behind every corner. This has a lot more downtime, focusing more on the toxic waste conspiracy than the killer crocodile itself and... it was pretty boring... This was filmed back-to-back with the first one, which presumably took most of the budget, as "Killer Crocodile 2" resorts to flashbacks and stock footage to pad out the runningtime. While Michael Crenna returns as the hero, he doesn't even enter the plot until around the half way point, with the protagonist being a female reporter (Debra Karr) -- who is actually more interesting than he is. There's this one scene where a guy gets ready to rape her and she's more amused than scared, culminating in a pretty bad-ass moment where she casually turns the tables on him. It's too bad that the inevitable love story is of the 'petty bickering' variety. Despite the fewer effects, "Killer Crocodile 2" has a few worthwhile moments. There is an ambitious set piece where the crocodile barrels into a hut, which is one of those jump scares that kind of got me because of how ridiculous it looks. That might be the best scene in both movies. The finale indulges in the hilarity that we want out of it, complete with some laughable miniature work. Someone says something along the lines of "But when I take off my bathing suit, I feel naked!", which might be my favorite line of all time. I might recommend this under the same circumstances as the first film (drunk, with friends), but I'd say just fast forward through the boring parts. 

1.5/4 

Orson Welles claimed *The Trial (1962)* was his best movie at the time and while I disagree, it is definitely a masterpiece in its own right. It's adapted from a Kafka novel and plays out like some sort of stress dream. Anthony Perkins is an office clerk who literally wakes up to the police snooping around in his room. They charge him with a crime, but refuse to tell him what it is... and never actually do... "The Trial" is a difficult movie to describe. It's very surreal and is a great study in paranoia, while also having a biting sense of humor about itself. As befitting of Welles, this was a very sophisticated production, albeit one with plenty of experimental film-making techniques, yet they don't overshadow the great dialogue or performances. "The Trial" is technically not a horror film, but it uses a lot of the genre's tactics to create an uncomfortable setting. The imagery often pops out as oppressive and gothic, while there are plenty of nightmarish scenarios and turn even the mundane into something terrifying. The pacing can be slow, but you never really know what to expect from the next scene. Welles says that the whole point is that the movie is ultimately about homosexuality, but my problem with this reading is that our hero seems far too interested in women. He seemingly spends half of the movie trying  to clear his name... and half of the movie trying to score with the various ladies he encounters... Maybe the studio enforced this in an attempt to downplay the subtext? I don't know, but "The Trial" is one of those movies that's just ripe for discussion, so you can probably interpret it in a thousand different ways and mount a compelling argument for each one.

3.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (May 13, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> *Leviathan (1989)* is a 'creature feature', produced during that brief time period when everyone thought "The Abyss" would be the next big thing... and apparently everyone assumed it would be "Aliens" with an underwater setting... as there were a lot of imitations that proceeded it. "The Abyss" technically performed well enough, but was a disappointment upon release, while everything that tried to prematurely cash on it failed both critically and commercially. *"Leviathan" flopped like the rest, but has developed a cult following over the years, being the only rip-off anyone seems to remember* thanks to Stan Winston's effects work and a very enthusiastic cast. The plot is simple, being about a deep sea mining colony stumbling upon a monster. Everyone says it's derivative of "Alien", but I think "The Thing" was a bigger source of inspiration. The cast includes Peter Weller, Ernie Hudson, Richard Crenna and Daniel Stern, although I recognized everyone else too, if only by their face. I appreciated that they don't treat the material as being beneath them and they all give their characters a lot of personality, which keeps the movie... afloat... throughout the first half of the story, which has very little monster action. I don't think this is Stan Winston's best work and honestly... I think "Alien" and "The Thing" had more memorable effects, but they're still pretty damn cool. I thought "Leviathan" was thoroughly entertaining, but it really lost me during the last 10 minutes or so. I don't think the ending on its own was bad, but it feels like it belongs in a different movie, being much cheesier to the point of having its heroes throw around one-liners. I do enjoy "Leviathan" though and have a soft spot for this brief trend of underwater horror flicks. If you also like this and want to try something similar, I'd also recommend "DeepStar Six".
> 
> 3/4



No way, dude. Movies like Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, The Rift and Creature are all great Alien rips offs and very much remembered by people into cult horror and sci-fi movies. I personally think all are better than DeepStar Six too, which is also a fun flick. But Leavithan is fantastic, just like Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, The Rifs and Creature. Some are set in the water and some in space, but they all have the same type of atmosphere and horror.

Have you seen Harbinger Down? It's a rip off of The Thing, but a really damn good one. It was made by Alec Gillis and Tom Woodruff Jr. after the creators of The Thing (2011) completely buttfucked the entire movie by replacing all the gorgeous practical effects with CGI that was outdated already in 2005. So Harbinger Down is a movie that brings nothing new to the table, but is incredibly fun and fully captures the 80's feeling. Brilliant film.


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## MartialHorror (May 13, 2020)

Uncle Acid said:


> No way, dude. Movies like Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, The Rift and Creature are all great Alien rips offs and very much remembered by people into cult horror and sci-fi movies. I personally think all are better than DeepStar Six too, which is also a fun flick. But Leavithan is fantastic, just like Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, The Rifs and Creature. Some are set in the water and some in space, but they all have the same type of atmosphere and horror.
> 
> Have you seen Harbinger Down? It's a rip off of The Thing, but a really damn good one. It was made by Alec Gillis and Tom Woodruff Jr. after the creators of The Thing (2011) completely buttfucked the entire movie by replacing all the gorgeous practical effects with CGI that was outdated already in 2005. So Harbinger Down is a movie that brings nothing new to the table, but is incredibly fun and fully captures the 80's feeling. Brilliant film.



I was only referring to the 'deep sea' ones, the ones specifically made in the wake of "The Abyss", like "The Evil Below", "Lords of the Deep", etc. I think they all came out within the same year too. Obviously not every "Alien" clone flopped, as they've never stopped ripping that off, only the underwater ones did. 

I haven't seen "Harbinger Down", but it's been on my 'to do' list since it came out, lol.


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## Uncle Acid (May 13, 2020)

Ah, ok. Then The Rift counts. I actually find all of the cheaper ones better than The Abyss. Really loved The Abyss as young, but re-watched it a year ago (along side the other that came in the late 80's and early 90's) or so and was deeply disappointed. Was not like I remembered at all. Heh.


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## Marvel (May 13, 2020)

Ever seen Sinister?


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## MartialHorror (May 13, 2020)

Uncle Acid said:


> Ah, ok. Then The Rift counts. I actually find all of the cheaper ones better than The Abyss. Really loved The Abyss as young, but re-watched it a year ago (along side the other that came in the late 80's and early 90's) or so and was deeply disappointed. Was not like I remembered at all. Heh.



I was never crazy about "The Abyss", but then again, I think I also expected "Aliens" in a deep sea setting. Maybe I should check it out again. Not sure if I've seen "The Rift". 



Marvel said:


> Ever seen Sinister?



Yeah it was pretty good. Never saw the sequel though.


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## Marvel (May 13, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah it was pretty good. Never saw the sequel though.


Sequel is on netflix.


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## reiatsuflow (May 13, 2020)

@MartialHorror seen or heard of tumbbad?


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## MartialHorror (May 13, 2020)

reiatsuflow said:


> @MartialHorror seen or heard of tumbbad?



No. Any good?


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## reiatsuflow (May 13, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> No. Any good?



I'm gonna watch it soon but I hear good things.


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## reiatsuflow (May 21, 2020)

Saw la casa lobo.


That was... upsetting.


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## MartialHorror (May 29, 2020)

*Black Christmas (2019) *has to be one of the most fascinating trainwrecks in recent memory, to such an extent that I considered coming out of my reviewtirement to do a full writing on it -- but then I said "f@ck that" instead. Blumhouse productions has had success with rebooting old brands, with their infamously low budgets actually helping the properties return to their roots ("Halloween", "The Invisible Man"), but "Black Christmas" is so misguided in almost every way that I almost want to like it because... it's trying? The filmmakers aren't just pushing a political agenda, they're practically smothering the audience with it, but at least it feels like they genuinely believe in their message, whereas I suspect "The Purge" series has been cashing in on such themes. I have nothing against the movie being about rape culture, female empowerment, toxic masculinity, systemic oppression, etc. and I do think a compelling horror story can be built around those themes, but... I couldn't take "Black Christmas" seriously in the slightest. It feels weird when a movie f@cks up so badly that I start questioning whether the things I actually believe in are real, because I do think rape culture and toxic masculinity exist. Even though the story still surrounds sorority sisters who are being terrorized by a masked killer, it's really more about them dealing with sexist frat boys and their enablers -- who are so cartoonishly misogynistic that you can't believe any of them are real. I believe that for any kind of political message to work, you have to ground it in some form of reality, so I was already struggling to buy any of this, but then... the ending...


*Spoiler*: __ 



It turns out that the source of all this masculine evil is... black magic... Even though they try to say that all it does is lower inhibitions and bring out their ' inner alpha', the one sympathetic male character is forced under the spell and clearly has no control over his actions. The "heroines" forgive him, but trap everyone else in a burning building without even considering the possibility that they might have had no control over their actions either. What. The. F@ck? I'm sure the director would say that the black magic is symbolic for the male establishment, but that would only make sense if it didn't f@cking mind control men against their will. Why was everyone else condemned but the one guy spared? Because they were white and he's black? I assume the implication is simply that they all knew what they were signing up for and willingly submitted to this 'ritual', but it's just sloppily written, leaving us with the wrong questions and unsatisfactory answers.

There's also a twist that one of the women is in league with the frat boys, presumably embodying all of those anti-feminists in real life, but once again... her reasoning is so ridiculous that you don't buy it in the slightest. For the political agenda to work, the audience has to be convinced that this is a reflection of reality. 




The movie fumbles its primary goal, but it's also just not very good as a horror or suspense thriller. It's funny that even though this is a remake of "Black Christmas", it reminded me more of films like "You're Next" and "Ready or Not", with one scare even being directly lifted from "The Exorcist III" (of all things). It tries to modernize the tension, but receiving creepy texts is not anywhere near as effective as receiving creepy phone calls. Because younger audiences have no patience, the stalk scenes don't go on long enough to build any tension and the PG-13 rating keeps the kills from having any kind of bite. I actually don't blame the director for going this route, because if the kills were bloodier, they might've come off as more exploitative, which would contradict the message... but... the f@cking twist ending already did that for me, so I wouldn't have minded a decapitation or two. Can I say anything nice? The cast is pretty good, although sometimes I wish they weren't. I could've found some entertainment by laughing at the movie, but Imogen Poots does such a convincing job at portraying a rape survivor that I couldn't bring myself to do so. "Black Christmas (2019)" sucks, but it is the kind of bad that's interesting to discuss and analyze. Even though I saw it like a month ago, I'm still thinking about it, even if I'd rather think about superior movies with similar themes. "Assassination Nation", for example, dealt with this same material in a way that was more provocative, entertaining and... somehow, even convincing... Yet somehow "Black Christmas (2019)" is the one I smash my head against the wall trying to make sense of.

1/4 

*Come to Daddy (2019)* is a difficult movie to describe. Elijah Wood stars as a man with a troubled past who is contacted by his estranged Father (Stephen McHattie) to seemingly reconcile, inviting him to his... secluded coastal cabin... But there is something strange afoot and that is all I will say because "Come to Daddy" is the type of movie that works best when shrouded in mystery. There's a strange tension between its characters and while you suspect it's building up to something, you're not entirely sure what that is. "Come to Daddy" is pretty slow paced and I question whether some of the subplots were necessary, but it is unique, darkly humorous and even somewhat unpredictable. It's one of those eccentric genre pictures that you'll probably either love or hate. 

3/4

*From a Whisper to a Scream (1987)* is an anthology known for being the final horror film of the great Vincent Price, although he apparently would come to regret his participation. I thought it was excellent, with each story standing out on its own, while also working in tandem with each-other. It's hard to pace an anthology, as each story has to undergo its own build-up and climax, so inevitably audiences will experience some fatigue, but "From a Whisper to a Scream" knows when to move briskly and when to give us a breather. Vincent Price's character is at the center of all the tales, as he's a librarian who knows of Oldstown's evil history. He's great in the role, being mysterious and kind of creepy, yet he also knows when to ham it up so that audiences will never take the stories too seriously in spite of some salacious and even mean spirited material. "From a Whisper to a Scream" is surprisingly gruesome, even for its time period, but I'd argue that it enhances the tension because you don't know what f@cked up thing will happen next. I don't even want to describe what each of the stories are about, because they have unique set-ups and often unexpected pay-offs, so I'd be undermining the surprise if I said any more. The set design is also really on point, giving an exotic flavor to each of the tales. I'm not sure what my favorite of them is, as each of them offer something awesome and different from the others, but the weakest is probably the last one. It's still pretty good though, with its own handful of shocking moments. This might be the most underrated horror anthology of all time. Definitely check it out.

3.5/4  

*The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001) *is a parody of the campy B-movies from the 1950's, such as "Plan 9 from Outer Space". It's pretty funny for awhile, as I liked how the cast say these goofy-ass lines with the most deadpan expressions they can muster. They do a good job at recreating the wooden performances and awkward dialogue of the films they're spoofing, while never letting the audience forget that it's all part of the joke. I laughed a lot and even felt a little nostalgic for the garbage films of this era, but I also felt like it was maybe 20 minutes too long. There is this running gag where characters will repeat what others say, presumably to lampoon both padding and exposition, but it starts to get old after while. By the time the 3rd act rolls around, I was growing impatient for it to end. Nevertheless, it can be hilarious and is worth watching if you're familiar with the kinds of films it's making fun of. The director also did "A Dark and Stormy Night", which is a parody of murder mysteries, but I didn't like that one as much.

3/4

I skipped *Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)* during its run in theaters because "Terminator: Genisys" killed my interest in the franchise and the weak marketing campaign failed to lure me back in. But do you know what? I didn't think "Dark Fate" was bad. It might run over 2 hours long, but I never grew bored or restless, managing to be entertained even through the films mistakes -- of which there are many. "Dark Fate" can't decide whether it wants to challenge its audience "The Last Jedi"-style, or if it wants to give them a comfortable trip down nostalgia lane like "The Force Awakens" did. It does rely a lot on call-backs and in-jokes, which only the fandom will appreciate, but it also makes some creative decisions that will piss them off. Surprisingly -- I didn't mind the more controversial elements of "Dark Fate", but I suspect this had more to do with "Terminator: Genisys" already pissing me off with similar ideas. I actually liked the new cast and appreciated that the filmmakers attempted to create their own characters out of them. My problem with the trailers is that they were so intent on pushing female empowerment that they made it difficult to take the threat seriously, as seemingly every shot was of the ladies kicking the shit out of the new Terminator, but the movie itself never had that problem. Gabriel Luna's Terminator was pretty menacing in a different way than his predecessors, while Grace (Mackenzie Davis) and Dani (Natalia Reyes) didn't just feel like watered down versions of Kyle Reese/ John Connor/ Sarah Conner.

Speaking of whom, it was great seeing Linda Hamilton back in the iconic role. She's a lot of fun, somehow made the tired "I'll be back" throwback line kind of cool and manages to be both bad-ass and imperfect all at once. The problem is that the emotional core of the story is the bond between Grace and Dani, so even though Sarah provides some of the films best moments, her presence was arguably a distraction. Things really start to get crowded when Arnold Schwarzenegger returns. Once again, while he's also very entertaining (loved the drapes speech), I'm not sure if he did the overall narrative any favors. In the end, I'd argue that the grand returns of Sarah Conner and T-800 cast a shadow over "Dark Fate", keeping the new characters from potentially becoming icons in their own right. But at the same time, some of my favorite parts relied so much on the original cast that I'd be sorry to see them go too. Oh well, at least the set pieces were pretty cool and there was some tension. "Terminator: Dark Fate" doesn't heal the wounds inflicted by "Terminator: Genisys", but it neither re-opened them or added to them. The important thing is... I had fun with it, warts and all. It definitely did not deserve to flop at the box office as hard as it did. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 16, 2020)

*The Platform (2019)* is a Spanish, high concept horror film that functions as a scathing critique of capitalism. I don't necessarily agree with its politics, but I don't have too as long as the film weaves them seamlessly into the story, which I thought "The Platform" accomplished in spades. The setting is a vertical prison with one cell per level, two people per cell. Their only source of food arrives on the titular platform, which can presumably feed everyone is the food is evenly distributed, but those on the upper levels choose to eat to their fullest, while those on the lower levels are left with nothing but their own flesh. It's a really interesting concept that allows for some great tension, drama and violence -- as cannibalism is on the menu for the less fortunate. The characters are interesting, even when they're not particularly likable and the director knows how to make its audience uncomfortable. I was never sure where the story would go, although I did the movie lost itself during its 3rd act. Yet I also really liked one implied twist that forces you to pay attention. I thought it was great.

3.5/4 
*
Terra Formers (2016)* is the live-action adaptation of a popular manga/anime, directed by none other than my personal favorite director himself -- Takashi Miike! It's just too bad that it kind of sucks, relying too much on bad special effects and silly creature designs. The story fails an attempt to colonize Mars by morphing its atmosphere to resemble Earth's, but a side effect is that the cockroaches turn gigantic and humanoid. So they fight back by injecting insect DNA into humans and even though I'm sure the source material makes this work, it's a really f@cking idea in cinematic form. This might be a faithful adaptation though, as it suffers from a lot of the same problems that plague adaptations which try too hard to be faithful. There's too many characters, too many storylines and a never-ending stream of exposition that never quite makes sense. Everything feels too compressed. I've never liked it when live-action movies give characters 'anime' inspired hairstyles, makeup and posturing. It looks cool in animated form, but is hard to take seriously in a live-action format. Nevertheless, there is a lot of action and a fair amount of gore. The special effects might be bad, but they're... bold... and they kept me continuously amused. 

2/4 

*Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)* is a South Korean found footage flick, surrounding a horror web series crew who investigate a haunted asylum, where... it turns out to be actually haunted? GASP! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT! I really enjoyed this. I liked how the first half packages the chills and thrills as 'fun', with characters who react in amusing ways and seem like they're having a good time. Just as we let our guards down though, "Gonjiam" takes a darker turn and becomes pretty scary. it doesn't always work though, as at least one specter is prone to making silly faces. This reminded me a lot of "Grave Encounters", although I wouldn't call it derivative, as it's not like the set-up is unique. All that matters is the execution and "Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum" is an entertaining found footage chiller.  

3/4 

*Images (1972)* is one of those 'female hysteria' kind of thrillers, except this was directed by Robert Altman. I'm not a fan of this specific genre, but this is one of the better examples. Susannah York turns in a harrowing performance as a housewife who might be going insane... or perhaps something else is going on... "Images" is one surreal mindscrew and I was never quite sure what would happen next. Our heroine is unusual in that she's not a particularly good person, although admittedly we're not exactly sure what she's guilty of, because every scene is steeped in ambiguity. Yet whether she's imagining everything or... not... her tale is a compelling one. I was surprised to discover that John Williams provided the score, as his music here lacks the usual cues that accompany most of his works. This was before "Jaws" and "Star Wars" though, so presumably he just hadn't found his distinct 'sound' yet. This isn't to disparage his score here though, as it's suitably unsettling and creepy, blending in seamlessly with the trippy visuals. 

3.5/4 

*Hellboy (2019)* isn't anywhere near as terrible as everyone makes it out to be, although it should be noted that I don't worship Guillermo del Toro's "Hellboy" movies anywhere near as much as apparently everyone else does. I thought they were good, but I prefer Guillermo del Toro's original stories, so felt no hostility when this 2019 remake entered development without him. But even though I didn't think it was THAT bad, I can't say it's very good either. The problem with "Hellboy (2019)" is that it feels more like a collection of set pieces, each with varying levels of quality that aren't tonally or aesthetically consistent with the others. Sometimes it resembles a grim fairy tale, other times it plays out like a schlocky horror flick or a silly actioner with hardrock music. I did enjoy all of this 'pieces' in their own way, as sometimes the gore was pretty cool, or the creature and set designs were really imaginative, or the CGI would be so deliberately awful that I'd get a good laugh. But then "Hellboy (2019)" makes the baffling decision to try and recreate the character arcs of Guillermo del Toro's movies, completely f@cking them up in the process. The cast is trying, but their characters interactions are so unpleasant that you start to hate them whenever they speak... and the dialogue isn't that funny either... Not only would a one-liner make me groan, but it would derail the attempts at drama, while the drama itself was usually a wet blanket over the comedy. I might not revere the Guillermo del Toro "Hellboy" flicks, but they knew when to take themselves seriously and when to keep things light and fun. I don't remember either of them ever stepping on each-others toes with mood whiplash. "Hellboy (2019)" works only in parts, but struggles as a cohesive whole. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 30, 2020)

I actually liked *47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)* more than its predecessor, even though it's probably the 'inferior movie'. I don't remember the first "47 Meters Down" very well, but I don't think its special effects ever looked fake, but "Uncaged" has plenty of unconvincing looking sharks participating in awkwardly edited attacks. The story surrounds a group of unlikable, annoying and idiotic teenage girls who explore a newly discovered underwater city, but find themselves trapped with sharks who have adapted to the environment. Despite the subpar CGI and everyone making stupid decisions to keep the plot moving forward, "47 Meters Down: Uncaged" has a pretty cool setting that it uses surprisingly well. There's one scene in particular that stands as particularly suspenseful, surrounding a shark stalking a character in one of these exotic locations. Whereas the first "47 Meters Down" was a slow burn, psychological thriller, this sequel is a much more fast paced thrill ride, with an action scene lurking around every corner. I might've often rolled my eyes or rubbed my temples, but I was never bored. I THINK the first movie had better acting and a more inspired storyline, but "47 Meters Down: Uncaged" is much more entertaining... even if I can't call it "good" in the traditional sense of the word.

2.5/4

*The Uninvited (1944)* is known for being the first "scary" ghost movie, as at this point, ghosts were perceived as a more comedic device within the industry. Even though you can definitely recognize a lot of the same goosebumps tingling tactics that would eventually define the genre, "The Uninvited" still has a humorous side that I thought was surprisingly charming. The characters are a lot of fun and the cast balances camp with drama so seamlessly that they can do something amusing without ruining the mood. Is "The Uninvited" scary by todays standards? No... and I always roll my eyes at the archaic romance formulas that all movies seemed to use during this time period... But it still retains a lot of atmosphere and more surprisingly, boasts a pretty compelling mystery that unfolds at the right pace. There is one legitimately spooky scene, where a romantic melody suddenly takes a dark turn, with the candle light dimming to reflect the mood. I love how the director disarmed us with a cute courtship scene, only to shift gears just as we're getting comfortable. The ending will probably baffle modern audiences, as it concludes with a... deliberate whimper... instead of the expected bang. I actually liked it though, as the quiet resolution was fitting for the story, even if it's technically a little unsatisfying. Nevertheless, "The Uninvited" is a genuine classic that has aged surprisingly well, even if it's impossible to experience it as contemporary audiences did.

3.5/4   

*The Dark Side of the Moon (1990)* is one of the more imaginative "Alien" clones, even if it lacks the production value to reach its full potential. A spaceship malfunctions and finds itself drifting to 'the dark side of the moon', where they encounter an abandoned vessel that harbors a mysterious evil. Even though it's easy to dismiss "The Dark Side of the Moon" as an "Alien" rip-off, it also borrows a lot from "The Thing" and gradually becomes more bonkers as the story progresses. I don't even want to reveal anything further, but let's just say "Event Horizon" likely drew some inspiration from "The Dark Side of the Moon". Every space-themed horror film has an AI with a female voice, but this one has an actual computer that is shaped like a buxom woman. To be clear, she is not an android or a robot, but a stationary computer that simply looks like a lady. This might sound really f@cking stupid, but these strange ideas are what give "The Dark Side of the Moon" a personality. There is some atmosphere, but the dark lighting seems designed primarily to hide the cheap looking sets. The effects, acting, dialogue and writing are all pretty bad, yet "The Dark Side of the Moon" is weird enough to almost like.

2/4

*Death Walks on High Heels (1971) *is a pretty good giallo, even if it's slower paced than most. These movies favored sleazy and shady characters, with even the heroes and heroines being pretty scummy, but this often helped when it came to duping audiences with red herrings. There's one twist that genuinely surprised me, so even when I would correctly determine the identity of the killer, "Death Walks on High Heels" tricked me into second guessing my convictions. There is more downtime than usual and there reached a point where I was wondering if I was watching a movie about a killer or a salacious romance, but it all came together pretty well. I do have to warn you though, there is a scene where the heroine adopts black face for a strip tease... Yikes...

3/4 

*The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972)* is another giallo... and probably one of the trashiest examples of the genre, as the gratuitous nudity and brutal violence are accompanied by misogyny, homophobia and even racism. These movies are sometimes so misanthropic that it becomes difficult to tell if it's condemning or exploiting these kinds of behaviors, but you should know what you're getting into if you want to give "The Case of the Bloody Iris" a chance. The plot is filled with twists and turns, which become ridiculously contrived and don't always make sense, but keep things from ever becoming boring. At the absolute least, this has a lean running-time and never slows down. It certainly has its moments of style and suspense, with the music standing out as pretty damn good... But in the end, "The Case of the Bloody Iris" is only for giallo purists and not for anyone easily offended.

2.5/4 

Hayao Miyazaki's *Princess Mononoke* (1997) was one of my first experiences with more mature animation, so at the time it actually seemed kind of scary. There is a lot of twisted and grotesque imagery, mixed in with shockingly violent content. But in a bizarre twist of fate, my only real problem with the movie now is that the violence seems gratuitous. I enjoy lots and lots of gore, yet I'd laugh whenever a head would pop off from a f@cking arrow strike. Nevertheless, the story is really powerful. The protagonist might seem somewhat bland and flawless, but it's a nice contrast to everyone else, who can't be described as either "good" or "evil". People you'd normally characterize as villains have admirable traits, while those you'd usually characterize as heroes are also self righteous pricks. The art design is memorable and the animation quality balances breathtaking beauty with an eeriness that I found to be captivating. I'd easily give this a perfect rating, if I didn't find the decapitating arrows so unintentionally amusing.

3.5/4

*The Beastmaster (1982)* is technically not a horror film, being part of the 'sword and sandals' adventure trend popularized by "Conan the Barbarian", but it was directed by horror maestro Don Coscarelli ("Phantasm"). The movie is often funny, exciting and action packed, but it also has a few creepy sequences, filled with grotesque imagery. I had a lot of fun watching this, as the characters are charismatic, with the titular beastmaster being an unconventional hero for this genre. He's much more vulnerable than most Conan clones, even shedding some tears after being insulted, but it makes his victories more satisfying. The production values allowed for some really cool and epic set pieces, while Coscarelli's imagineative, nightmarish ideas compliment this genre just as well as they do horror. I would've loved this movie as a kid. "The Beastmaster" under-performed in theaters, but developed a cult following over the years, leading to two made-for-TV sequels and a TV series.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 10, 2020)

I remember seeing trailers for Takashi Shimizu's *Flight 7500 (2014)* back in 2012 and thinking it looked cool because I've never seen a 'haunted airplane' horror flick before, only to be disheartened when its release date kept being pushed back until it was unceremoniously dumped on-demand in 2016. Takashi Shimizu had found international success with "The Grudge", but the poor reception of "The Grudge 2" and the failure of this seemed to kill his career in the west. Is "Flight 7500" really that bad? No... It's just not that good. I thought it did a decent job at building up a mystery throughout its first act, as even though strange occurrences are happening, you're not entirely sure what is going on -- despite the 'haunted airplane' marketing gimmick. Yet I did connect the dots well before reaching the half way point, partially because the hints are too transparent, but also because I'm familiar with the story that this is loosely based on, so recognized much of the set-up. After you figure it out yourself, you're just waiting for the movie to catch up to you, as it's not spooky enough to hold your attention. I do feel like "Flight 7500" had its heart in the right place though. You can tell that the director is trying to create something unique, but it just doesn't come together very well. 

2/4  * 

Epitaph (2007)* is a South Korean horror anthology, where an old man reminiscences about the spooky, mysterious events he witnessed in a hospital, back when the Japanese still occupied Korea in the 1940's. I could never quite make heads or tails as to what was going on, especially as the 'framing device' character is having flashbacks to events he did not witness, although considering the thematic similarities between the stories, one can argue that he's filling in the blanks with his own mental health problems. But even though I was always confused, at least "Epitaph" was artfully made, balancing the creepy stuff with beautiful imagery. The music, outside of a few misguided "Psycho" cues, was powerful and I even found myself sniffling at the sadder content from time to time. "Epitaph" doesn't just want to scare you, it also wants to make you feel a variety of emotions. 

3/4     *
*
The 1970's giallo and the 1980's slasher were two very different genres that elicited different reactions from audiences, even though the former had a lot of influence on the latter, while the latter usurped the former in popularity. Yet there were still movies that arguably bridged the gap between the two, such as Lucio Fulci's "The New York Ripper", Mario Bava's "Bay of Blood" and the subject of today -- Sergio Martino's *Torso (1973).* The set-up screams 'Slasher', with a group of co-eds visiting a remote country villa, where they're menaced by a masked killer. Gialli were usually very violent, but relied more on psychology than effects like the slasher did. "Torso" has... both... being much more explicit in both nudity and violence than the usual giallo, but the kills are also much more mean spirited and uncomfortable to watch than the usual slasher. The perverse nature of the killer will definitely be off-putting for a lot of people, but "Torso" is very suspenseful and even offers some subversive, shocking twists. I was convinced I was watching a great example of both the slasher and the giallo, at least until the final 10 minutes, where everything sort of falls apart. Gialli are usually superior to slashers because they're much more stylish and have more interesting characters, but one thing I prefer about slashers is that if a killer specifically targets women, then it will be a woman who brings him down. Gialli almost always force in a man to save the day, even when they've been pretty detached from the rest of the story, making it harder to become invested in the outcome. Nevertheless, "Torso" was nail biting up until that point.       

3/4 
*
Found Footage (2014)* was pretty amusing, even it sometimes drag. This is obviously a parody of the 'found footage' genre, even if it's not explicitly poking fun as any single film. Three friends decide they've had enough of being bullied... even though they themselves seem more like the instigators... so decide to force their 'bullies' into an abandoned warehouse where they must kill each-other off to survive -- obviously while our "protagonists" catch it all on camera. Nothing goes as planned. The ab-libbed nature of the presentation means that a lot of jokes will misfire, but there is some funny stuff here. I liked the subplot where one of the character's Dad is clearly a serial killer, yet no one seems to notice in spite of all the warning signs. I also loved how the 'bullies' ignore the orders to 'kill each-other', only to turn on one another because of their political differences. It's too bad that the ending falls flat. 

2.5/4*
*
Tim Burton's *Sleepy Hollow (1999) *is much campier than I remember it being, but it's still a pretty thrilling horror-fantasy. As expected from a Burton production, everything is over-the-top, from the violence to the sets to the music and to the performances. The cinematography is moody, but in a fun kind of way. Think Hammer horror on steroids. There is also a murder mystery, but even as a kid, I remember thinking it was obvious who the culprit was. It doesn't matter too much though, as "Sleepy Hollow" relies more on the stylish art direction, brisk pacing and its entertaining cast. While the movie can get pretty gruesome and intense, it's also quite humorous. The effects work is sometimes deliberately cheesy and Johnny Depp's comical reactions never grew old. But whether it was being serious or silly, good or bad, it was always entertaining.

3/4 *

Demon City Shinjuku (1988)* is one of those OVA's (original video animation) that populated the late 1980's/early 1990's, which were infamous for their graphic violence and perverse content. I'm not much of an anime aficionado, but I do remember watching this and the directors other works -- which includes "Vampire Hunter D", "Wicked City" and "Ninja Scroll". These movies were usually a little too... rapey... for my tastes, but I always appreciated their atmospheric art design... and as a kid, I had a morbid curiosity when it came to grotesque, f@cked up imagery. These types of flicks had absolutely no boundaries, nor did they have to worry about budget limitations the same way live-action would, so you'd see some... let us say "crazy shit". "Demon City Shinjuku" was never one of the better ones and hasn't aged with the utmost grace. There isn't much of a story and the dialogue is insanely cheesy, although the bad dubbing kind of makes it charming. Yet like all the rest, the art design is creepy and the action was pretty cool. It's really just a kendo practitioner encountering all sorts of demons in a city abandoned by civilization. While the plot is thin, I did find the setting to be fascinating. This would make for a better series or a novel, which it apparently is. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 15, 2020)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER *-- "" is a horror franchise that traveled from Japan to Hollywood... to back to Japan again... and recently visited Hollywood again. I've decided to split this review series in two parts, with this one focusing on the franchise's rise and worldwide success. But what made "The Grudge" so popular? And why did it seemingly fall from grace in the west? Let's find out as we cover --

-- "Ju-On: The Curse (2000)"
-- "Ju-On: The Curse 2 (2000)"
-- "Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)"
-- "Ju-On: The Grudge 2 (2003)"
-- "The Grudge (2004)"
-- "The Grudge 2 (2006)"
-- "The Grudge 3 (2009)"


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## James Bond (Jul 16, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> *COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER *-- "" is a horror franchise that traveled from Japan to Hollywood... to back to Japan again... and recently visited Hollywood again. I've decided to split this review series in two parts, with this one focusing on the franchise's rise and worldwide success. But what made "The Grudge" so popular? And why did it seemingly fall from grace in the west? Let's find out as we cover --
> 
> -- "Ju-On: The Curse (2000)"
> -- "Ju-On: The Curse 2 (2000)"
> ...


Saw Ju On Origins on Netflix yet?


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## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2020)

James Bond said:


> Saw Ju On Origins on Netflix yet?



Yeah I'll talk about it more in part 2. I... liked it... but it's pretty flawed. The story was kind of unsatisfying, but I appreciate how it tried to do something different with the same concept and it's pretty consistently creepy... with one scene in the last episode popping out as downright scary.


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## James Bond (Jul 16, 2020)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah I'll talk about it more in part 2. I... liked it... but it's pretty flawed. The story was kind of unsatisfying, but I appreciate how it tried to do something different with the same concept and it's pretty consistently creepy... with one scene in the last episode popping out as downright scary.


I didnt really get the feeling I was watching ju on if that makes sense. Also I thought it was the tragedy that cursed the house but this at least what I got was the house was just cursed.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 16, 2020)

James Bond said:


> I didnt really get the feeling I was watching ju on if that makes sense. Also I thought it was the tragedy that cursed the house but this at least what I got was the house was just cursed.



I don't mind that it's a lot different than the other films, but that's also kind of where I say the story was unsatisfying. I was under the impression that the origins of the curse were tied in with the woman in white's backstory. But they didn't really go too deeply into that. We see it briefly near the end, but we don't really know much about the characters involved. 

For all of their faults, the Ju-On movies did a good job at making us know Kayako, her husband, and the circumstances surrounding the tragedy. Other things I thought were awkwardly developed were --


*Spoiler*: __ 




-- What exactly terrified the boyfriend to death? I was expecting after his Mother is confronted by the ghost of the woman in white in the last episode that we'd see a glimpse of his Mother's corpse with a similar expression. It's just odd because even though stuff like this happened in the movies, it doesn't happen much in the show. 

-- The girl who was raped... She see's a ghost, which freaks her the f@ck out, but then she immediately plots revenge on her rapists. I was wondering if she was being possessed, as there was no indication she was that diabolical. Obviously she was being influenced, but there wasn't much of a pay-off. 

-- Also, was she the one responsible for her son being comatose? She says her husband/rapist did it and he's obviously violent, but her husband/rapist seemed shocked when he saw the cops nearby. 

-- Why was the son protecting the Father. The "Run away!" bits were actually pretty effective and chilling, a great way at building tension, but there was no indication at there was any kind of bond there. The boy only shows affection for his Mother on-screen.

-- It was bizarre how the girl who orchestrated the rape was like... "Er, can you help me find my friend?" to the girl she just assaulted. Why did they attack her anyway? There was a "Do you know why we're doing this?" line, but no pay-off.

Just seemed like they wanted to do too much, without enough time to properly develop everything.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 31, 2020)

Apparently I'm supposed to be outraged by *The Hunt (2020)*, for being right wing propaganda... or left wing propaganda... I guess it depends who you ask, as both conservatives and liberals have both whined about their portrayals in this film. I thought it was obvious that the movie was satirizing the political divide in general, not being afraid to poke fun at both parties, but everyone is just far too touchy these days I guess... I thought it was fun. It's fast paced, violent and I was consistently amused. The cast is having a blast too, overacting in just the right way. There are even a few genuine surprises. Is it necessarily the smartest satire out there? Not really and that might be why people on both sides of the aisle are upset, as it's... not quite clever enough to justify the experiment. Even as a fan, I think I'll remember the controversy surrounding the movie more than the movie itself. 

3/4 

*Marebito (2004)* is a strange quasi-found footage chiller from Takashi Shimizu ("The Grudge"), about a cameraman who explores the potentially haunted subway system in Japan. He finds an... oddity... that he takes home with him, leading him to a path of madness and murder. Most of the film is shot from the perspective of one of his cameras, although the narrative doesn't really restrict itself to the format. "Marebito" is very slow... sometimes to the point of becoming boring... but it does have a strange creepiness about it that kept me wondering where it would go. It's the type of movie where the ending makes or breaks it, but unfortunately... it's a pretty lame resolution... Nevertheless, there is a lot of atmosphere to appreciate. Takashi Shimizu is clearly drawing a lot of influence from Lovecraft, for better or worse.

2.5/4 

*Bride of Re-Animator (1990)* is the hotly contested sequel to Stuart Gordon's cult classic, "Re-Animator", except this time it's producer Brian Yuzna in the director's seat. People either seem to really like this or really hate it, but I thought it was... just pretty good... There are a lot of grotesque special effects that thoroughly gross you out and a lot of darkly humorous situations, with Jeffrey Combs being so good in the role of Herbert West that you're never entirely sure if you should like him or hate it. But... something... definitely feels missing here. If I were to guess, I'd say that "Re-Animator" was better because it was so outrageous in its content that you never were sure what would happen next. "Bride of Re-Animator" never crosses those same boundaries, making it a little more tasteful and yet a little less memorable. The climax might be good, but the actual ending is pretty disappointing in our abrupt it is. I was like "Huh? Is that it?", but I'd still say that this sequel as a whole was entertaining. 

3/4   

*The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)* was Dario Argento's directorial debut, that's also remembered for sparking off the giallo trend. I think this is a solid effort, but my problem with it is that Argento would perfect this formula with "Deep Red". Both movies are actually quite similar, but in my opinion, every thing that works about "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage" is simply done better in "Deep Red" -- which I saw first. Nevertheless, this is still pretty suspenseful and stylish, with a likable cast whom you actually can root for (a rarity in giallo). The mystery is engaging, even though it's obvious who the killer is. "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage" is also surprisingly funny, albeit in a darkly humorous kind of way. I do like this movie... It's just that I prefer "Deep Red" far too much.   

3/4 

*A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)* is more of a... fantasy... comedy... horror... romance... but it does contain some wuxia elements, so why not talk about it? It's based on a Chinese short story called "Magic Sword", which has been adapted a few times before and after this, but I believe "A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)" is the most famous and influential of the adaptations. There are a lot of surprisingly good and imaginative special effects, but even though there are some thrilling, exciting and creepy moments, the comedy won the day for me. I thought this was hilarious, so much so that I'd sometimes still be chuckling during the more somber moments. The love story is sweet too though, as the leads have a natural chemistry that makes their romance easy to root for. "A Chinese Ghost Story" isn't for everyone... It's the same kind of wacky, batshit craziness that "A Chinese Odyssey" also was. You'll have to brace yourself for broad sight gags, followed immediately by grizzly violence and enough high octane energy to fuel an entire genre. These kinds of movies were popular in Hong Kong at the time, so if you aren't used to their wild tonal shifts, this might not be for you. I loved it though.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 8, 2020)

*A Chinese Ghost Story II (1990)* has Leslie Cheung reprise his role as the scholar, who encounters a warrior (Joey Wang) who's the spitting image of his lost love from the first movie... because she's played by the same actress... But is she a reincarnation? Even though the first film is technically the better movie, I think I preferred this one. It's just one series of awesome visuals following another, with imaginative action scenes and grotesque creature effects. Every time I figured the movie couldn't get any more epic, "A Chinese Ghost Story II" demanded that I hold its beer... again... Like I said though, the first film is technically the better movie. There are unsatisfying resolutions in regards to the fates of certain characters and the love story is flimsy. Leslie Cheung and Joey Wang have good chemistry, but the foundation of their romance seems to be based on deception and appearance. It's just harder to care about whether they hook up or not. Wu Ma also reprises his role as the Daoist, but in a reduced role and his appearance during the climax felt kind of pointless. Nevertheless, the set pieces and the brisk pacing kept me thoroughly entertained and I laughed quite a bit too.

3.5/4

*A Chinese Ghost Story III (1991)* is... technically a sequel... 100 years after the events of the first film, the evil tree demon is resurrected and causes havoc at her old temple. When a pair of monks stay at the temple for a night, she instructs Lotus (Joey Wang) to seduce the disciple of the pair (played by Tony Leung), sparking an accidental romance that neither of them want. I was warned that "A Chinese Ghost Story III" was a remake, but the resurrection of the tree demon was set up in the original film and the Daoist is also referenced in passing. Yet it is somewhat of a retread, more or less re-using the same formula of the original film... for better or worse... I actually liked the love story. Even if the story is derivative, I feel like the filmmakers understood what made "A Chinese Ghost Story" work, so this one works for similar reasons. Leung and Wang have chemistry and there's something genuinely charming about seeing their characters develop around each-other. The effects work isn't anywhere near as insane as "A Chinese Ghost Story 2", but the action is still solid, the atmosphere has that nice blend of spookiness and camp and the comedy continued to make me laugh. The biggest problem with "A Chinese Ghost Story III" is that it doesn't really bring anything new to the table. There's very little I'd describe as memorable and I thought the fate of the Tree Demon was weak. Nevertheless, it's fun and endearing, a worthy sequel.

3/4 

*7 Guardians of the Tomb (2018)* is an Australian-Chinese co-production, starring Bingbing Li, Kelsey Grammer and Kellan Lutz. They are forced to explore an underground labyrinth... for stupid plot contrivance reasons... which is filled with insanely poisonous spiders. "7 Guardians of the Tomb" isn't a good movie and for the first 30 minutes, I thought it was actually quite bad. The dialogue is awkward, the characters are annoying and the special effects are horrid, but once they enter the labyrinth, it became reasonably entertaining. I'm always a fan of secret corridors, ancient treasures and booby traps, which this has plenty of. The spider effects are pretty good and the filmmakers do a decent job at making them creepy. The movie can't really decide whether we're supposed to be frightened or amused though, with some silly attempts at comedy being at war with the really sappy dramatic moments. Sometimes I wondered if the filmmakers didn't have enough time to finish the movie, as the editing is really choppy and disorienting. They rely a lot on flashbacks and I thought they were completely unnecessary. The final shot before the end credits role had me laughing my ass off though. It's the type of ending that would've ruined a good movie, but arguably redeems a bad or mediocre one. 

2/4        

*King of Thorn (2009)* is an anime movie that is apparently based on a manga, so maybe that's why I spent the entirety of my viewing experience wondering what in the hell was going on. Everything about this felt overwritten, from all of the twists and turns that never seemed to be adequately explained to the dialogue, which tries way too hard to be meaningful. The movie tries to flesh out the characters, but its efforts lead me simply to being unsure how I was supposed to feel about them. One minute they're saying deranged things and endangering the lives of the others, but the next they're suddenly the voice of reason. But I'm sure it would've all made sense if I had read the manga. Nevertheless, was I ever bored or frustrated? Not really. The animation is breathtaking and the creature designs are horrifying. I only watched this because I heard it was hardcore in the violence department and... it was pretty hardcore. If I ever found a point where I was scratching my head, some dude would get his head eaten off. I'm not sure I can accurately describe the plot, but there's a disease that turns people into stone. A select few are put in cryogenic chambers for 100 years to wait it out... except when they wake up, the world has been overrun by thorns and plant monsters. 

3/4 

*Plague of the Zombies (1966)* was the first Hammer Horror film I ever saw... and remains one of my personal favorites. André Morell stars as a doctor who's summoned to a village to investigate a mysterious plague... which becomes even more mysterious when he hears reports of the dead rising from the grave... This is a very atmospheric slow burner with a good story and great characters. Even as a kid, I remember enjoying the cast interact with each-other, as the performances are great and the dialogue is snappy. As an adult, I appreciate it even more because some of the plot sounds ridiculous, yet the cast sell it with conviction. Considering how this was made before the more iconic "Night of the Living Dead", the zombie makeup is surprisingly disturbing. There are a few genuinely horrifying moments and what isn't scary is quite suspenseful. I consider this to be a Hammer Horror masterpiece, even though not many people seem to know about it. 

3.5/4


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## James Bond (Aug 11, 2020)

Should check out Yummy on Shudder @MartialHorror (sorry if you already and have just missed it)


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## MartialHorror (Aug 11, 2020)

I haven't. When I get shudder again I'll check it out.


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## MartialHorror (Aug 22, 2020)

*The Rift (1990) *was part of that strange wave of aquatic horror that only seemed to exist because everyone thought James Cameron's "The Abyss" was going to be a bigger hit than it was... and be "Aliens" in an underwater setting... Dino De Laurentis had previously produced "The Leviathan"  and must have thought it would be pretty funny to also finance the low budgeted rip-off, "The Rift"... but it didn't really matter as neither film soared at the box office. I was pleasantly surprised by "The Rift" though. Yes, you can tell that the filmmakers are struggling with the limitations of the budget, but the special effects are shockingly... OK... If you miss the days of practical prosthetics, "The Rift" showcases a lot of disturbing and grotesque imagery, without taking itself too seriously either. I was somewhat invested in the storyline and seeing how the mystery would unfold. The cast looks like they're enjoying themselves and often were quite good, even though there are some annoying stereotypes that stand out as especially awkward today. I also find hate the tired "forced to work with your ex" subplot. I don't think this is the best aquatic horror flick out there, but if you like "Leviathan", "DeepStar Six", the more recent "Underwater" or any of the others, I think you'd enjoy this too. 

2.5/4 

*Black Sheep (2006)* is a tongue-in-cheek horror comedy about... get this... killer sheep. I wish I could say it's "baaaaaaad" in my best bleating voice, but unfortunately, it's actually pretty good. You might expect this to be one of those CGI laden cheapies, but the acclaimed Weta Workshop worked on the special effects and provided awesome practical monstrosities that pay homage to the werewolf classics of the 1980's. Yes, that means we get... weresheep... There's a lot of great splatter on display, with very little downtime. The pacing is so fast that you never have to wait long for the next kill, but it also doesn't burn itself out prematurely. Every time you think "well, now I've seen everything", the filmmakers prove you wrong. I thought the comedy mostly worked too, but if I have any real complaint, it's that the copy I watched lacked subtitles. "Black Sheep" is a New Zealand production and I sometimes struggled to keep up with their accents. But that's less to do with the movie and more to do with the bad transfer -- and my bad ears. I thought "Black Sheep" was a... blaaaaaaaast?

3.5/4 
*
Manos: The Rise of Torgo (2018)* is the... for some reason... much anticipated prequel to the infamously terrible "Manos: The Hands of Fate". For those unaware of its legacy as a contender for the 'worst movie of all time', the original "Manos" was a shitty horror movie that had faded into obscurity until it became a target of Mystery Science Theater 3000, from which it suddenly became a cult favorite. I personally found it insanely boring, although I did trick my sister into watching it with me, which was kind of funny. You can tell that the people behind "The Rise of Torgo" are genuine fans of "Manos". The cast does an admirable job at imitating the 'hammy yet wooden' mannerisms of the original characters, complete with the same stilted dialogue. The filmmakers even recreate the awkward filler and tedious pacing, all for the sake of affectionately lampooning the material. I have to admit that I occasionally laughed, but the problem is... it's too f@cking long! I think I would've enjoyed this more if it was a sleeker 60 to 70 minutes, just like the original and subsequent sequel -- WAIT, THEY MADE A F@CKING FRANCHISE OUT OF THIS!? UGH!!! "Rise of Torgo" isn't even particularly long, clocking in at 90 minutes, but much like its predecessor it feels like a lifetime. If you're a fan of "Manos: The Hands of Fate", then you'll probably appreciate this much more than I did. 

1/4 

*The Vault of Horror (1973)* is the spiritual sequel to "Tales from the Crypt (1972)", from Amicus Productions. It's an anthology, based on the comic of the same name, although apparently the majority of the stories were adapted from "Tales from the Crypt"... making me wonder why this didn't use that namesake. None of the stories popped out as especially memorable or exceptional, but they're all pretty solid and more importantly, they flowed well together. There are five tales, where five strangers find themselves trapped in a luxurious sub-basement, where they relate their individual re-occurring nightmares. Some are a little creepier and others a little campier, but it had a nice blend of styles and tones. Like I said, I wouldn't call any single one of them great, but "The Vault of Horror" avoids the usual pacing snarl of anthology features. None of these tales overstay their welcome or upstage the others. Even though all of them rely a lot on their shocking endings, the individual climaxes pumped me up for the next one instead of burning me out. "The Vault of Horror" is an overall good anthology. 

3/4

*Red Eye (2005)*... not to be confused with "Red Eye (2005)"... Er, seriously? There are two movies with the same title, from the exact same year? That's very confusing. I'm not talking about the Wes Craven thriller, but "Redeu-ai", a South Korean ghost story set on a train. I love the train setting, especially when it comes to horror flicks, but this wasn't all that great. There is some atmosphere, but the characters are all dull and the scares were weak. All build up and no pay-off makes "Redau-ai" a dull movie. Yet things do pick up during the finale, which takes some interesting turns -- some of which I did not see coming -- and provides the thrills the first half could have used. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 2, 2020)

*Suicide Club (2001) *has become somewhat of a minor obsession for me. I think 50% of the movie is a definitive masterpiece, while the other 50% is... frustrating... A wave of mass suicides have been plaguing Japan for seemingly no inexplicable reason, but a detective begins to suspect that it's part of some sort of conspiracy. The movie knows how to catch your attention, which genuinely shocking and horrifying -- yet also strangely humorous -- moments. It also knows how to settle back and rely on good old fashioned suspense. While the opening train sequence is definitely the most iconic moment, I actually think the best part is later on, when the police are anticipating a similar event. The tension REALLY got to me, making me literally squirm in my seat in anticipation. I also appreciated that there is an emotional core to the story. Another masterful yet underappreciated scene is when the detective is riding the train and is noticing how miserable everyone looks. The music alone brought actual tears to my eyes.

Unfortunately... it seemed to me that director Sion Sono had a strong set-up, but didn't quite know how to provide an adequate pay-off, so distracts the audience with provocative imagery, vague symbolic and weirdness... lots and lots of weirdness. The movie seems to lose its emotional core once a specific character dies well before the 3rd act and the narrative is drowned out by an overdose of quirkiness. I'm not going to say that the movie suddenly goes from good to bad, because the style remains and I'll give it some credit -- I never knew quite what to expect. But there is such a thing as being cheap in its unpredictability. What made the first half so powerful is that the suicides are treated with a certain gravitas. But once they start introducing cartoonish villains who sing pop songs while raping and murdering people, it just no longer felt sincere to me. It's fun and all, just... not really a satisfying pay-off to the set-up. Yet once again, maybe Japanese audiences will 'get it' and the first half was so powerful that I'm still going to give it an enthusiastic rating.

3.5/4

*The Guard from Underground (1992) *was an early, low budgeted effort from Kiyoshi Kurosawa, about a sumo wrestler who goes insane and becomes a serial killer, targeting the employees in an office building. The movie has some decent suspense and the Sumo wrestler turned psychopath in question is pretty scary, but the characters are kind of dull and the kills were also surprisingly dull. I would say it's still OK, just a little disappointing considering it's a Japanese slasher about a Sumo Wrestler who kills people. I just feel like it should've been more hardcore than it was.

2.5/4

*Mutant Girls Squad (2010) *is... yet another Japanese film from schlock director Noboru Iguchi. Even though there are three credited directors, it definitely feels like one of his movies, with the same manic energy, gross-out imagery, extreme violence and bizarre tonal shifts that seems to be his specialty. "Mutant Girls Squad" is sort of like "X-Men"... except instead of claws coming out of knuckles, it's chainsaws coming out of schoolgirls' asses... The movie is designed entirely to shock and it definitely does that, with seemingly every set-piece being more obscene than the last. This isn't really my kind of thing, but it's exactly what it wants to be, for better or worse. I do think that some of the sight gags were a little too silly towards the end, almost as if the movie was trying to appeal to kids and not... perverts, lol. My favorite Noboru Iguchi remains "Dead Sushi".

2/4

*Sometimes They Come Back... for More (1998) *is the second sequel to "Sometimes They Come Back", following "Sometimes They Come Back... Again". I loved the first movie as a kid, although I wasn't anywhere near as impressed with it as an adult. I did watch these sequels when they were released, but even back then, I thought they were pretty mediocre. This one sort of stayed in the back of my memory over the years though, as for some absurd reason, they chose set this in the f@cking arctic. The first two movies were suburban horror flicks, with relatively low budgets, so why they would have the third one take place in the f@cking arctic is beyond me -- yet I LOVE the ambition. If you read most reviews, they will be negative and it's not like mine will be the lone exception. I think the filmmakers did a pretty decent job utilizing the setting to build atmosphere, as there are a handful of genuinely moody visuals. I also thought they worked around their financial limitations reasonably well. But the characters are REALLY f@cking annoying. The late 1990's and early 2000's were populated with characters who just yelled at each-other all the time, for absolutely no reason. The finale is also kind of lame too, but I tried not to hold that against the film too much because of the low budget. "Sometimes They Come Back... for More" isn't a good movie, but I do have some respect for it and don't think it's as bad as other reviews have suggested.

2/4
*
Encounters of the Spooky Kind (1980) *is an interesting hybrid of horror, martial arts and comedy from Sammo Hung. I'm always lamenting over the flaws of Sammo Hung's body of work, but he is a very talented individual, both in front and behind the screen. He plays a hapless kung fu master, who is renown for his bravery... except when it comes to the supernatural... This becomes a problem when his unfaithful wife's lover hires an assassin who specializes in witchcraft to terminate him. I thought this was pretty good. The humor made me laugh more than not, while it's balanced nicely with the macabre. The best sequence is when Sammo is trapped in an old temple and is forced to face a kung fu zombie. It's surprisingly suspenseful, as Sammo is too terrified to confront him, so spends most of the night hiding. Yet there are comical moments surrounding all of his plans going awry and then we finally get some smoothly choreographed kung fu that shows how athletic Sammo Hung is -- in spite of his bulk. The pacing is a little wonky and sometimes the story goes on random tangents that seem to exist solely for comedy, without actually contributing to the plot, but "Encounters of the Spooky Kind" is relatively harmless when compared to his other movies... and more importantly, it's good fun.

3/4

I wasn't going to include this one, as the horror elements are downplayed, but because it contains some spooky imagery too --

*The Dead and the Deadly (1982) *is more of a wacky murder mystery than a kung fu film, but the second half just showcase a lot of impressive acrobatics and choreography from Sammo Hung and Wu Ma. Sammo Hung is the nephew of a Taoist Priest whose friend has died under mysterious circumstances, so decides to due some sleuthing, only to stumble upon a plot that changes everything. I liked the set-up and the initial intrigue, but even when the twist is dropped relatively early on, the situations these characters find themselves in both kept everything amusing and even a little intense. Part of me wants to be more critical, as Sammo Hung's character is seemingly demoted from protagonist to plot device for a third act, but at least I was NOT anticipating the direction the story would ultimately go. It was definitely very unusual to say the least. I USUALLY laughed with the movie and its broad gags, but the problem with a lot of Sammo Hung's movies during this time period is they... cross certain lines that I think would make most modern audiences uncomfortable... "The Dead and the Deadly" isn't the most extreme case, but it seems weirdly chill about sexual harassment. If you're familiar with Sammo Hung's work though, then you'll get over it.

3/4

And Also --

*Batman: Gotham by Gaslight (2018)* is a more standard animated Batman adaptation... I assume, as I don't watch a lot of these movies... except the gimmick this time is that Batman existed during the Victorian age... and Jack the Ripper did not prey upon Whitechapel, but Gotham... I don't really give a shit about these animated comic book movies, but the idea of 'Batman Vs Jack the Ripper' was too enticing to pass up, leading me to watch this and "Batman Ninja". I was immediately taken aback with the violence, sensuality and profanity, as I'm just not used to seeing those in these more western tailored animated films, but they did successfully put an edge to the suspense. I did feel like most of the cast, even though they're all Batman regulars, could perish at any time. The animators do a good job at building atmosphere, although the action scenes were a little bit too... polished? I guess that's the right word I'm thinking of? It just sort of deflated the tension for me every time Batman and the Ripper engage in overly choreographed fistcuffs. I actually wasn't really too impressed by Batman in this movie, as he's introduced fighting... children... and seemingly spends the rest of the movie being outsmarted and outfought. Nevertheless, I still thought this was pretty good and the twist ending legitimately surprised me.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 16, 2020)

*Host (2020)* was that one hour long feature that was shot on zoom during the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine and... I have to admit... I thought it was pretty scary. This is much like "The Blair Witch Project" and "Paranormal Activity" though where it will either work on you or it won't. If it doesn't crawl under your skin, you will probably be bored and annoyed and wondering what all the hype is about. But you have to show some respect for the effort that clearly was put into it under all the circumstances. I personally had a blast watching it alone... in the dark... the best way to watch any 'scary movie'. "Host" is pretty much what "Unfriended" wanted to be. 

3.5/4 

*The Color Out of Space (2019) *is not only an adaptation of one of H.P Lovecraft's most memorable works... and stars Nic Cage, which can either be a bad thing or the best thing... it was also the triumphant return of director Richard Stanley ("Hardware"), whose career was derailed when he was fired from "The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)". I thought this was great. The characters are likable and relatable, but they're also sort of unpredictable, which made simple interactions rather suspenseful. The movie does a good job at capturing a lot of Lovecraft's atmosphere, but it's also deceptively funny and gradually embraces grisly spectacle. Some of the effects work reminded me a lot of "The Thing". I love feeling like I don't know what's going to happen next. My only complaint was that subplot with the Mayor feeling way too much like the remnants of a (mostly) deleted storyline, but it never really dragged the pacing down for me. 

3.5/4

*The Boogens (1981)* is a low budgeted creature feature about... creatures... who are unleashed onto a small town when the underground mines that had previously imprisoned them are dynamited by miners. This was surprisingly good. The effects for the 'boogens' are decent and the kills are OK, but the filmmakers do a good job with their limited resources. "The Boogens" relies more on suspense than blood, with a few scenes standing out as nail biting. I initially felt that some of the acting was a little wooden, but the cast has a lot of chemistry and their repertoire actually got to root for all of their survivals -- not that "The Boogens" obliged me. 

3/4 

*The Flesh and the Fiends (1960)* is a take on the infamous 'Burke and Hare' killings, with the controversial Dr. Knox (Peter Cushing) wanting to advance medical science, but he needs cadavers to do so. He resorts to buying dead bodies from Burke (George Rose) and Hare (Donald Pleasence), who are so thrilled with their new lucrative occupation that they start making the dead bodies themselves. This is, in my opinion, the best 'Burke and Hare' movie. The cinematography is moody and the movie balances tension with gallows humor so seamlessly that I often wasn't sure whether to laugh or tense up -- but in a good way. The cast is phenomenal. Peter Cushing is a master at playing morally ambiguous intellectuals. It's really fun watching him take the piss out of people with his sharp wit, but you never really know if he's going to emerge as a hero or descend into being a villain... All of the characters are very well written and acted, but I actually thought Donald Pleasence stole the show. He's sleazy and kind of scary, while also being kind of funny too. "The Flesh and the Fiends" is just a fantastic movie that deserves more recognition than it gets.

4/4 

*Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Monroe (2014)* isn't a horror film, but because I also covered Stanley's "The Color Out of Space" and the infamous 1996 movie this is based on is horror, I figured I'd give this a shoutout. It's good and interesting, if you're into the stories of troubled productions like myself. I do wish there were more interviewees, but perhaps I'm greedy wanting to hear Val Kilmer or David Thewlis's sides of the story. I also sometimes wondered if they were exaggerating Richard Stanley's greatness at times... was "Hardware" really that big of a deal upon release? Maybe it was. But I will definitely say this, his vision seemed much more interesting than what the movie ultimately deteriorated into... although I don't know if anyone's vision can truly stand up to the image of Marlon Brando wearing an ice bucket over his head. I actually want to revisit this movie now, lol.

3/4 

*Monstrum (2018)* is yet another South Korean, sword slinging, political intrigue stirring horror flick set during the Joseon era... which is apparently a genre now... except instead of zombies plaguing the country side, it's a man-eating monster -- that might be real or a concoction designed to stir up strife within the Kingdom. I was really looking forward to this one, as I loved the South Korean TV series "Kingdom" so much that I even loved "Rampant", which was pretty much the same thing in a movie format. "Monstrum" is really just OK though and from a storytelling perspective, seems to be going through the motions, checking off all the tropes that we saw in "Kingdom" and "Rampant", without really embracing them. Just like those films, there is a lot of a conspiracy going on in the King's court, but it's so transparent that I wondered why the filmmakers even bothered trying to dupe the audience. The characters are all interesting to an extent, but the story sets up drama that it doesn't follow through with. The monster action... and yes, the whole 'is it real?' subplot is inherently flawed because the trailer f@cking shows it... is still pretty cool though. The CGI is mostly stellar and the design is pretty memorable. The cast does a good job at looking terrified in its presence and you really do feel that in spite of their martial arts abilities, they don't stand a chance against this creature. The fight scenes are well choreographed, although at times I thought the camerawork and editing surrounding it was overly ambitious. For all of its flaws, "Monstrum" is still handsomely produced and is breezily paced. The humor sometimes felt out of place considering the context, but it did make me laugh. A movie can be fun, even if part of why it's fun is also part of why it's kind of underwhelming. I think a good example of this is the ending, which plays it ridiculously safe. I probably would've been more annoyed if "Kingdom" or "Rampant" did that, as that movie is more emotionally involving, but for something more simplistic in its entertainment value like this? It works. "Monstrum" is an enjoyable experience. It's just not a particularly impactful or memorable one.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 27, 2020)

I've heard *The Beyond (1981) *described as Lucio Fulci's quintessential movie and it's probably his most highly regarded, although whether that's a compliment or not depends on who's saying saying it. It's definitely the embodiment of everything one expects out of Fulci. The plot doesn't make much sense, although Fulci has stated that he simply doesn't care about narrative logic and prefers crafting films that resemble living nightmares, which is a fancy way of saying that it's all about gory set pieces. I actually think "The Beyond" is a little more coherent than "City of the Living Dead", but I also think "City of the Living Dead" is more successful as an exercise of surrealism. With that said, the kills in this movie are f@cking awesome. The prosthetics are disturbingly convincing when they need to be, yet they're also delightfully hokey when they need to be. Either way, the gore is extreme and imaginative to the point of absurdity. Fulci isn't just a maestro of violence though, as he crafts some pretty nail biting suspense and a spooky atmosphere around the violence. The sets are genuinely creepy and the use of sound was chilling. Fulci wasn't as flashy as Argento, but I prefer his style a bit more because the lighting and camera tricks usually heightened the tension instead of just being showy. The ominous soundtrack by Fabio Frizzi is excellent and the use of sound in general was pretty effective. The cast is in top form too, being likable and charismatic, but also selling the audience on how terrified they are. David Warbeck's facial expressions at the end are priceless.  

There are a lot of funny little blunders that sometimes make "The Beyond" a little hard to take seriously, like a "DO NOT ENTRY" sign and a doctor having a patient who has probably just broken his back lifted by his hands and feet. I think my favorite moment has to be when David Warbeck is loading bullets into his gun... through the barrel... presumably just to f@ck around. Catriona MacColl notices and cracks a smile, even though it's supposed to be a grim moment. I remember in the DVD commentary Warbeck expressing surprise that they used that take, but even though it should be a criticism, I find it to be strangely charming. One thing that has always befuddled me about "The Beyond" is how it sets up potential storythreads that never go anywhere. Martha (Veronica Lazar) and the plumber have these meaningful stares suggesting some sort of backstory, but it's never touched upon. Speaking of whom, what was up with Martha and her son? Were they 'in on it'? I think so, but we never get any confirmation and in the end, they're just as vulnerable to the hotel as anyone else. It can be frustrating when Fulci plants these kinds of ideas, but I guess it added another level of mystery. I've always felt 'it's supposed to resemble a nightmare' to be an excuse for bad writing (these movies were often being penned as they went along), but Fulci somehow made it work. "The Beyond" isn't my favorite film of his... not even his best (in my opinion), but it is definitely up there and functions as a good gateway entry for his filmography. Fulci's an acquired taste though, so if you don't like "The Beyond", you probably won't like most of his movies. I personally love them. 

3.5/4

*Scare Package (2019)* is a horror anthology, about... well... f@ck.... I don't know! Jeremy King stars as the owner of an old video store who's showing a new employee the rounds. He acts kind of suspicious, but most of the shorts are more like... tangents... where one of them will mention a horror movie or see the cover of one and that's the framing device. "Scare Package" can only really be enjoyed by horror purists who will get all the in-jokes. It's definitely one of the most high energy anthologies I've ever seen, with seemingly every short moving at such a brisk pace that they often don't even stop to let us know what the f@ck is going on. I'm still befuddled by some of the episodes, which make little sense. There are a lot of amusing moments and I appreciated the throwbacks to 1980's slashers and Troma exploitation. The gore effects were cool. I did think the movie eventually overdosed on the meta stuff though, which "Scare Package" even seems to acknowledge. The ending kind of lost me too, but the overall experience was fun enough, even if only horror buffs will 'get it'. 

2.5/4   

*Maniac Cop (1988) *is often categorized as a slasher, but I felt it was more of an action-horror akin to "The Terminator". Even though I just watched it a few nights ago, I'm already struggling to remember any of the kills, even though I can recall some good stuntwork and a pretty cool car chase. "Maniac Cop" is one of those strange experiences where I thought it was pretty solid, but I struggle with explaining why as nothing jumped out as exceptional. It's pretty well paced, had decent suspense and boasted a stellar cast. We get Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell and Richard Roundtree, among others and they're all good. There's also a twist I didn't see coming, although it arguably had a negative effect on the rest of the story. If I had any real problem with the movie, it's that Tom Atkins makes deductions seemingly out of nothing. Overall, I'd say "Maniac Cop" is OK. 

2.5/4

Broken Lizard's *Club Dread (2004)* is a guilty pleasure of mine. It's not quite as funny as it needs to be, nor is it quite as gory as it should be, but it's still amusing enough to be fine as a comedy and bloody enough to work as a slasher. I just find it to be a relaxing, breezy experience. You just can't go wrong with a sexy island paradise, with an enthusiastic cast and fun characters... where people are being butchered by a masked maniac... Okay, maybe I shouldn't be saying that out loud. Er -- or typing it online.

2.5/4 

*Pontypool (2008)* is one of those movies with a strong set-up, but questionable pay-off. The story surrounds a small radio station that is trying to report on... something... that is happening in their town. Stephen McHattie is compelling as the lead radio host and the supporting cast is strong too. I was impressed with how they managed to confine the action in the broadcasting station. The mystery gradually unfolds in a way that made me eager to know what would happen next. Is it a riot? Is it terrorism? Is it a zombie plague or is it something else? "Pontypool" knows when to withhold and when to reveal, building up tension expertly. But when the answers finally come, I was like "Huh?". It's an imaginative twist, but I still don't really understand it and the stinger only made things even more confusing. Nevertheless, I believe the journey is more important than the destination and for the most part, "Pontypool" was gripping. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 2, 2020)

*The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020) *is the sequel to "The Babysitter", which I remember enjoying, but not to the extent that I could remember any of it. Some memories came back to me during this viewing experience, such as the shirtless cultist, but my sister had to fill me in on some of the blanks. Apparently the character of Melanie (Emily Alyn Lind) was not only in the first movie, but was a pretty important supporting character, but I can't recall a damn thing about her. Even after checking wikipedia and confirming her function in the story, I'm still drawing a blank. The story this time around has Cole (Judah Lewis) struggling to get through high school, when a retreat turns out to be an ambush for another cultist sacrifice. The original cast all returns, although Samara Weaving more-or-less only gets a glorified cameo. I THINK this movie works and fails for all the same reasons as its predecessor... if I'm even correctly remembering what those are... "The Babysitter: Killer Queen" is a very high energy movie, with a lot of funny parts and a lot of misfired jokes. I'm still baffled on the reliance of the token black guy stereotypes (another thing I could recall, unfortunately) and there's one video game-inspired fight scene that feels like it belongs in a totally different movie. But the cast has such a good repertoire and the kills are pretty cool, so once again, I enjoyed it... although I'm sure I'll forget this too by the time the next sequel comes out.

2.5/4 

*Satan's Slave (1982)* is an Indonesian chiller about a family who's terrorized by... the devil! What separates "Satan's Slave" from most occultist, haunting, or possession films though is that Islam is used to analyze and combat the evil, instead of the usual Catholicism. I'm always intrigued with different traditions and cultures, so chose to check out "Satan's Slave" for that specific reason. You can tell that the filmmakers were drawing inspiration both from contemporary releases, like "The Exorcist" and "The Omen", but also the Hammer Horror flicks from the 1960's and 1970's as well. There is quite a bit of spooky imagery and the suspense builds up from an effective slow burn. Unfortunately, the movie completely lost me during the finale. The climax is an overlong, silly looking physical confrontation and then... "Satan's Slave" reveals itself to have been religious propaganda this entire time. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. 

2.5/4 
*
Satan's Slaves (2017)* is both a reboot AND a prequel to "Satan's Slave", from Indonesian filmmaker Joko Anwar, whose contributions to horror have recently caught the attention of the whole world. I thought this was much better than "Satan's Slave", so much so that I wonder why they bothered making this a prequel, as "Satan's Slaves" has pretty much the same story and recreates most of the iconic set pieces. I thought this was pretty damn scary myself. There's so many suspenseful sequences and imagery that somehow freaked me out even when being telegraphed. Islam is once again the religion used to combat the evil, but "Satan's Slaves" brings up a truly horrifying possibility -- that it is not enough. I think demonic possession movies work best when religion doesn't feel like an easy way out of the predicament. Unfortunately, once again... the ending falters, albeit for different reasons. They try to forge continuity with the original movie and I thought it was more distracting than anything else. The big 'twist' also bugged me. Was it foreshadowed? If it was, I didn't notice and thought it dismantled the films emotional core. Nevertheless, "Satan's Slaves" is an exceptional horror flick. Joko Anwar is definitely a filmmaker to keep an eye out for. 

3/4

Speaking of whom...
*
Impetigore (2019)* is another Joko Anwar horror flick, definitely cut from the same cloth as "Satan's Slaves". I actually struggled getting into this one, as it was both a little too slow paced and a little too familiar for my tastes. Two friends travel to an isolated village to investigate a potential inheritance, only to learn that the village carries a dark secret. I felt like I could stop the movie at the 30 minute mark and complete the rest in my head. Even though "Impetigore" wasn't being what I'd call original or unique, it was still a well made chiller with two endearing leads. Yet around the half way point... shit got real... The story takes some f@cked up turns and wasn't afraid to traumatize the audience with f@cked up imagery. I had finally 'gotten into it', except things were now so suspenseful that I wanted back out! I think I still prefer "Satan's Slaves", but "Impetigore" was pretty awesome too. 

3/4

*The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (1971)* is an excellent giallo from Sergio Martino ("All the Colors of the Dark", "Torso"). The story follows the titular Mrs. Wardh, who begins to suspect that a killer preying upon women might be one of the dudes she's having an affair with. The movie is stylish, but I was more taken in by how suspenseful it was. There are a lot of scenes that really got my heart racing. Sergio Martino seems to have a knack for finding stories within this genre that don't quite feel like the rest, which makes them a little harder to predict. I initially wasn't sure what to make of the score. Every time I'd hear it, I thought it belonged in a kung fu movie. When I finished watching "The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh", I did some research and figured out why -- I had previously heard it in "Kill Bill". Great track though.  

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 13, 2020)

All of the following can currently be viewed on "SHUDDER", for those interested.
*
The Cleansing Hour (2019)* has a pretty interesting concept, where a Priest conducts exorcisms... on a live-stream show... Of course it's all a hoax and both the exorcist and exorcised are actors playing roles, but then they are forced to contend with an actual demonic possession. This made me consider modern technology and social media and it's impact on the horror genre. I often feel like these kinds of advancements and trends do a disservice to horror, as getting ominous texts just isn't as scary as a creepy phone call, and web chats lack the raw, menacing aesthetic of an old VHS tape. But I come to the conclusion that younger audiences will have an easier time adjusting to this kind of stuff, because they've grown up with things like social media and HD, so presumably filmmakers are designing the scares to work on them and not those of us who grew up on obsolete technologies. I bring this up because "The Cleansing Hour" is one of the few examples of a horror flick utilizing modern media to its fullest, without alienating those who don't quite understand it. I wouldn't describe it as great... some of the CGI effects are distractedly bad... and the writing can be questionable at times. Yet I actually thought it was pretty clever with its use of social media and modern technology, which adds a darkly humorous touch to the proceedings. The pacing is lightning fast, with plenty of creepy images and intense thrills to keep you engaged. There is even a slight emotional core to it... that is admittedly undone with the final frames... but at least the "big reveal" was pretty cool and ambitious for such a low budgeted film. The cast is also good, making you sympathize with them in spite of their dishonesty. I actually had a lot of fun with this.

3/4

*Mon Mon Mon Monsters (2017)* is is far too bleak for a movie with such a silly title. It definitely has a lot of wacky moments and can be accurately described as a horror-comedy, but the laughs tend to be drowned out by the screams. I'm not too familiar with Taiwanese cinema though, so maybe "Mon Mon Mon Monsters" is par for the course? In a bizarre twist, I actually was never taken out of the movie by its bi-polar tone though. A lot of the humor was too broad for my tastes, but maybe I was cool with it because it kept me from becoming too depressed. A bunch of REALLY SHITTY teenagers accidentally capture a monster (more like a feral girl) and torture her for the hell of it, while her much deadlier sister goes on a bloody rampage throughout the city to find her. They do a really good job at 'humanizing' the "monsters", who might eat people too survive, but are much more sympathetic than the more monstrous human beings. You can even see them shedding tears and it's harrowing too behold. There are some really cool horror set pieces too. The "bus scene" was f@cking awesome. I did think "Mon Mon Mon Monsters" was too long though and it deprives us of one bloody confrontation that I think we all needed to see. I'd still call this a good movie though, albeit one that's not for everyone.

3/4

*The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)* was the last of Edgar Allen Poe adaptations featuring the awesome collaboration of director Roger Corman and star Vincent Price, often being regarded as the weakest entry in the film series. I guess I agree, but this is still pretty good too. "The Tomb of Ligeia" has all of the gothic atmosphere one can ask for. The striking yet grim color scheme, the spooky graveyards and decaying castles give the film a sense of style that you just don't see anymore. The cast is exceptional as well, with Vincent Price turning in yet another incredible turn as a tortured hero... or villain? My favorite Price roles usually blur the lines between good and evil so seamlessly that you have no idea whether he'll emerge as the good guy or the bad guy -- and this is no exception. I was also impressed with Elizabeth Shepherd as Lady Rowena (and performing in a dual role as Ligeia herself). She's so strong willed that she actively pursues Price's character as a romantic interest. Unfortunately, the writing eventually lets her down as she gradually becomes a damsel who reacts to threats with screaming and fainting. They do have good chemistry though. The movie does wear out its welcome for the finale. While being visually impressive, it just feels tacked on, as if the filmmakers felt they had to satisfy a specific formula. I think an ending that was closer to Edgar Allen Poe's short story would've been more effective.

3/4  

*The Vampire Lovers (1970)* was... if I understand correctly... one of the final commercial successes for Hammer Studios, who are trying to maintain relevancy after modern horror trends had begun to upstage them. "The Vampire Lovers" is mostly remembered for depicting lesbianism and at the time it was controversial for showing more nudity and violence than the studio was accustomed too. The story is based on the novella, "Carmilla", which I'm not too familiar with. Ingrid Pitt plays a beautiful vampire who befriends young woman from wealthy families, seduces them and drains them of their blood. I actually was wondering if this was a sequel, as there is a re-occurring character who recaps events -- complete with footage -- of another tale that felt like its own movie. I was surprised to learn that this wasn't a sequel, but the first of its own trilogy, which continues with "Lust for a Vampire" and "Twins of Evil". With that in mind, "The Vampire Lovers" suffers from a disjointed narrative, introducing too many characters who vanish for large periods of time. Nevertheless, much like "The Tomb of Ligeia", there is a lot of gothic atmosphere to appreciate. There are even a few genuinely chilling moments. Carmilla (who undergoes many different names) is actually a pretty complex character and Ingrid Pitt is iconic in the role. The supporting cast is strong too, although I wish Peter Cushing was a greater presence in the second half of the story, as I feel like the movie lost something once he "leaves". As for its more salacious content, I actually prefer eroticism from this time period over more modern stuff, because these older movies showed more restraint, leaving a little more to the imagination -- which I think is sexier.

3/4

*Maniac Cop 2 (1990)* proves that bigger... sometimes means better... This sequel had more time and money to work with, so even if the story isn't as strong this time around, it's harder to notice because of abundance of awesome set pieces. The stuntwork on display is f@cking insane, with some of the action scenes being much more intense because you're more afraid for the stunt people and actors than the characters they're supposed to be playing. It was ambiguous in the first film whether the titular maniac cop was a zombie or just a very deranged, durable mad man, but this sequel confirms he's undead. The grotesque re-design for his makeup was much more menacing. Fans of the first film might take issue with some of its creative decisions... especially in regards to the survivors... but the new characters are pretty cool too. Robert Davi is so bad-ass that one of the films biggest flaws is that he never really has a confrontation with the Maniac Cop. I wasn't really sure if the subplot involving another serial killer was necessary, but Robert Z'Dar ( Cordell - the maniac cop) and Turkell (Leo Rossi) have a strange kind of chemistry that made it worth it. Their interactions are surprisingly humorous, without ruining the suspense that's supposed to accompany both characters. "Maniac Cop 2" doesn't seem entirely sure whether Cordell is supposed to be a villain or an anti-hero though. The filmmakers decide to emphasize his tragic fall from being a "good cop", but I thought the whole point of the original was that he was always a violent nutcase who simply shifted his tendencies from the bad guys to the good guys. Nevertheless, I still found satisfaction in watching him take vengeance on those who actually killed him. "Maniac Cop 2" was a lot of fun and even its 'perceived' flaws somehow add to the enjoyment.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 18, 2020)

*The Mortuary Collection (2019)* is a delightful horror anthology that somehow manages to be overflowing with homages towards genre classics, without using them as a crutch. The story surrounds a creepy Mortician named 'Montgomery Dark', played by Clancy Brown, whose showing a new hire (Caitlin Custer) the ropes. As they inspect the morbid instruments of his trade, he relates the tales that came with some of the bodies. The whole concept has vibes of "From a Whisper to a Scream" (arguably my favorite anthology), the Mortician is designed after the Tall Man from "Phantasm", there's a movie-within-a-movie reminiscent of "Halloween" and I recognized nods to "Tales from the Crypt", H.P Lovecraft and many others. I love all the Easter eggs, but each story works as its own entity as well. Many are designed to subvert expectations, which has become kind of a tiring trend lately, but most of them caught me off guard in the right way. "The Mortuary Collection" also walks a tonal tightrope, balancing its disturbing, gruesome and sometimes even depressing content with a sense of humor. But I laughed whenever the movie tried to be funny and the comedy never derailed any of the other emotions, so it made it across said tightrope safely. The entire movie was written and directed by Ryan Spindell, who evades most of the anthology pitfalls. All of the stories work in tandem together and I never felt any lag in the pacing. I had a blast from beginning to end. 

3.5/4 

*Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence (1992)* was a lackluster way to end the trilogy, even though it made by the same people. Matt Cordell (Robert Z'Dar) is resurrected thanks to the dark art of voodoo and... I shit you not... falls in love with a female police officer ONLY because she was left in a coma after a shootout and was screwed over by the system. Cordell goes on another killing spree, primarily targeting those responsible for her condition. It's up to his previous nemesis, Detective McKinney (Robert Davi) to stop him. "Maniac Cop 3" apparently had a troubled production and it shows. The story makes absolutely no sense. Why did that Voodoo Priest resurrect Cordell in the first place? I'm not sure what Cordell was trying to do either. I get him killing his new love's enemies and he's trying to clear her name, but why manipulate the people who shot her in the first place into being killed by other cops, when he could've done so himself? From a technical perspective, "Maniac Cop 3" also looks significantly cheaper than its predecessors. I thought they were using stock footage at certain points, but they were apparently just using outtakes, which... I guess is better... The action scenes are fewer and less exciting. I'm fine with "Maniac Cop 3" being more of a traditional slasher, but the kills are just OK at best. There's no suspense or thrills, although I wasn't necessarily bored either. The filmmakers did put together a pretty solid cast, with not only Davi and Z'Dar returning, but you'll also recognize Jackie Earle Haley, Robert Forster and Paul Gleason, who all seem to think they're in a much better movie. Seriously, their performances are quite good. The finale is also delightfully stupid, balancing some impressive stuntwork with absurd and unintentionally comical visuals. I was going to rate it a 1.5/4, but "Maniac Cop 3" was partially redeemed by that final set piece.

2/4   

*Humanoids from the Deep (1980)* is a Roger Corman production where mutant fish people terrorize a small coastal town, killing the men and *ahem* impregnating the women. As far as low budget creature features from Corman goes, this is cut from the same cloth as "Galaxy of Terror", although not quite as memorable. The effects are pretty good, with the monster prosthetics looking suitably grotesque. The cast is also pretty stellar and there's even some suspense. You know a movie is not f@cking around when the first two victims are a child and a dog. Despite its mean spirited content, there are some funny bits and pieces here and there, courtesy of the supporting cast. I especially loved the guy who somehow seduces a much more attractive woman with his mad ventriloquist skills. I didn't care too much for the rape scenes though. They aren't really THAT graphic, but most of the movie is going for a sense of trashy fun and the rapes were just akin to a wet blanket for me. Then again... they were kind of required for the final visual, which was pretty awesome in its own, derivative, trashy way. 

3/4 

I remember when I first saw the *Jack Frost (1997)* box art at my local video store, which was this cool hologram image of a normal snowman mutating into a monstrous one. Somehow I convinced my Mother to let me rent it and we watched it as part of a family movie night. We still laugh about the experience to this day. This has a pretty bonkers concept, which is a serial killer named Jack Frost ends up in an accident with toxic chemicals, which turn him into a killer snowman. The special effects are quite amazing -- the snow looks suspiciously like styrofoam -- and the killer makes the cheesiest wise cracks known to man. The movie is bad, but it knows its bad and has fun with its badness. The kills are quite good though. They're actually kind of f@cked up and brutal, which for some reason I find even more amusing. I remember watching the sequel too, where Jack Frost has little murderous snow babies and terrorizes people in the Tropicana, which sounds hilarious... but wasn't... I remember thinking it was lame, but maybe I'll revisit it at some point. 

2.5/4   

*Fermat's Room (2007) *isn't really a horror as much as its a nail biting thriller, but it was really good and reminded me a lot of "Escape Room",so why not bring it up? A group of brilliant Mathematicians are invited to a manor in the middle of nowhere to solve the ultimate enigma, only for the walls to literally start closing in around them. It's really interesting watching all of these incredibly intelligent people using their specialties and skills to complete the various riddles that will grand them a moments reprieve from being crushed to death. But this is a Spanish production and sometimes I had trouble keeping up with the subtitles, as "Fermat's Room" is dense with dialogue. I do have a few squabbles with the story, but I can't go into them without spoiling anything, so I'll just say that "Fermat's Room" was a riveting experience. The direction is stylish and the suspense left my nails thoroughly chewed. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 25, 2020)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER UPDATE* -- I added "_Tremors: Shrieker Island (2020)_" to my review series for the "_Tremors_" franchise, which can be read . This is reportedly the grand finale to the saga, so is it a worthy conclusion? Or is it as bad as the previous one?

*Notzilla (2020)* is a parody of "Godzilla", about an innocent creature that grows gigantic and turns monstrous when exposed to... beer... This is so low budgeted that those Asylum mockbusters start to look like legitimate blockbusters in comparison, but that is clearly supposed to be the joke. I laughed at some the sight gags, like when toy army soldiers are used to stand in for the actual military. Everything is deliberately bad, from the writing to the performances to the effects and... yeah, they were all quite terrible in a way that's intended to be amusing. The problem with "Notzilla" is just that the joke starts to wear thin pretty quickly. I went to check how much time was left after I started to get a little bored, only to realize I hadn't even crossed the half way point... and the movie is only 78 minutes long! I think I would've liked "Notzilla" if it was a 30 minute short -- like "Kung Fury" was.

I loved "Kung Fury", but now that I've watched "Notzilla", I don't think "Kung Fury" would work as a full length feature either. 

1.5/4    
*
Mortuary (1983)* is a slasher where the killer is a mortician, using embalming instruments to claim his or her victims. The story actually does attempt something new with the formula. It's hard to pin down who the protagonist is, as even though Christie (Mary Beth McDonough) is the center of the story, her boyfriend (David Wysocki) is equally pro-active, often even driving the narrative forward. Even though a lot of victim fodder is introduced, they are so unimportant that the killer never even stalks them, with the casualties going to those you wouldn't always expect to die. There are a lot of gruesome moments, but not many actual kills, as the gore is mostly reserved for the embalming of corpses. Finally, the killer's identity is so obvious that the movie doesn't even try to surprise us, just casually revealing who it must be through dialogue -- although this does distract us from a much different twist. Whether or not these deviations from the classic slasher formula work or not depends on you. I just thought that the movie as a whole was OK. It has decent suspense, decent kills, decent performances, decent characters and a decent story. I don't think I'll remember it for very long, but it does have a young Bill Paxton as a socially awkward suspect and Christopher George in his final role.

2.5/4  

*City of the Living Dead (1980)* remains my personal favorite flick from the godfather of gore himself, Lucio Fulci. I actually view this as the quintessential Fulci experience, as it contains everything people love or hate about his works. The story doesn't make a lick of sense, even by Fulci's usual flimsy standards. A psychic (Catriona MacColl) has a vision that horrifies her so much that it f@cking kills her, only to wake up later in a coffin, without any explanation why. She teams up with a reporter played by Christopher George and insists that they have to hurry to close the gates of hell before all of mankind is plunged into the abyss... only for them to realize they have no idea where they're going, so they might as well casually stop for breakfast... Fulci insisted that the lack of narrative was deliberate, that he was going purely for surrealistic horror, but everyone else claims that the production was so rushed that they were more-or-less writing the script as they went along. Even though the latter explanation seems more likely, "City of the Living Dead" does feel about as nonsensical as an actual nightmare. You might not know why the psychic woke up in the coffin, but it's a pretty terrifying scene. I actually think the movie is quite atmospheric and spooky.

Fulci's critics dismiss his works for being all about the splatter, but even though the makeup and prosthetics are suitably nauseating, Fulci knew how to build up to the gore. A character might get a drill to the face, but first the camera has to linger on the instrument of doom and get a close-up of their terrified expression as they're slowly pushed into the grotesque effect -- forcing the audience to cringe in anticipation. It really is an underappreciated way of building tension. There's also a great use of sound. Fabio Frizzi's score is always good, with his synthesizer theme reminding me of his work on "Zombie", but it's those bizarre growls of the dead that gave me the chills. I also love those gothic sets and the moody use of fog. Everyone complains about the ending, but... yeah, it sucks... I've heard different explanations of what it was supposed to mean, but my favorite has to be "The editor accidentally spilled coffee on the film, damaging the original ending". "City of the Living Dead" is not for everyone, but nor is Lucio Fulci. "Zombie" or "The Beyond" might be better gateway flicks, but I think "City of the Living Dead" is scarier. I think all of its set pieces are more memorable and horrific. I think it's the embodiment of Fulci's style, whether you like it or not.

3.5/4
*
RoboGeisha (2009)* is another wacky, weird and disgusting entry from Noboru Iguchi ("Mutant Girls Squad"), about mechanized geisha assassins whose tits are machine guns and... squirt out acid milk... and whose butts fire out ninja stars -- this shit is f@cking weird! "RoboGeisha" does strangely have a pretty involving emotional core underneath all of the... 'ass swords'... although it's kind of funny how Noboru Iguchi throws a lot of it away for the sake of a few sight gags at the end. Say what you will about the man though, he's imaginative... and f@cking weird... I certainly wasn't expecting this to go in some of the directions it did. "RoboGeisha" really isn't my cup of tea, although I can definitely see its cult appeal.

2.5/4  

*The Monster Club (1981)* is an anthology starring Vincent Price as a vampire who accidentally bites the neck of his favorite horror writer (played by John Carradine), so invites him to 'the monster club', where they can listen to 'ghoulish music', drink human flavored tomato juice (wink wink) and tell spooky stories. This is the silliest of the Roy Ward Baker anthologies, often being a more horror-themed comedy than an actual horror flick. The wraparound story is intended to be campy and while it's a little on the lame side, it's fun watching Price and Carradine play off each-other. Price gets some really good lines. The first of the short stories is more of a gothic romance that can get surprisingly depressing -- perhaps too much so when following such a cheesy wraparound. The second is a straight up comedy, but even though it's a little broad for my tastes, it did make me smile. The third is actually pretty creepy. "The Monster Club" has a great cast at its disposal, as not only are Price and Carradine involved, but there's also Donald Pleasence, Stuart Whitman, Richard Johnson, among other familiar faces. I actually enjoyed most of this, but the pop songs did do a number on the pacing. The tone is all over the pace too, but "The Monster Club" definitely has its charm.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2020)

*May the Devil Take You Too (2020)* is the charmingly titled sequel to the 2018 Indonesian splatter flick, "May the Devil Take You", which was designed to be a throwback to "Evil Dead". We continue following the survivors of the first film, who are drawn into the plight of a group of orphans who are being terrorized by their own demons. Even though I really enjoyed "May the Devil Take You", I have to admit that I don't remember it very well, so had some difficulty reconnecting these with the characters and their overarching story. This sequel definitely recaptures the same high energy though. The direction is stylish, the makeup effects are awesome, the action is intense. There were plenty of spooky and disturbing things appearing in the background, which made the often illogical storyline and annoying characterizations a little more bearable. Even if I couldn't remember her situation very well, I did like Alfie (). She's so bad-ass and yet the actress is so good at conveying fear that her reactions alone heightens the tension. The new characters have sympathetic backstories, but they're all standard "types" and they immediately lost me by trying to f@cking abduct our heroine and then expecting her to just help them out. Like seriously... ask first? Maybe? But "May the Devil Take You Too" is one of those movies that overcomes its shortcomings with sheer entertainment value.

3/4 

*Urban Legend (1998) *was a pretty mediocre "Scream" knock-off that somehow managed to ride the wave of 1990's slashers to box office success, even though I'd be surprised if anyone actually remembers it. The concept is pretty fun though, with a killer whose gimmick is staging his or her murders around 'urban legends'. The script isn't anywhere near as clever about it as it thinks it is though, with characters who behave like morons so they can be killed more conveniently and twists that you will see coming a mile away. Even when I saw this at 12 years old, I saw through the red herrings and quickly deduced 'whodunit'. Nevertheless, "Urban Legend" has its moments. The 1990's slasher trend was fighting an uphill battle against censorship, as there was a backlash surrounding violence in media at the time. But this one has a very gruesome moments, even if you could certainly tell that the editor is struggling to maintain them. I was also taken aback by how big this cast was for the time period. You had a lot of people who were expected to be the 'next big thing', such as Alicia Witt and Tara Reid, interacting with genre favorites like Robert Englund and Danielle Harris, among others. I think I recognized every single actor or actress. "Urban Legend" isn't what I'd call a 'good movie', but it was an easy watch. There are a few exciting moments and the pacing is pretty smooth. There's also some nostalgic value to be had here, as "Urban Legend" is filled with quirks that can only be filled in the 1990's. It was followed by two sequels, one called "Urban Legends: Final Cut", which I don't remember being impressed with even by "Urban Legend" standards. It more-or-less killed the genre with its disappointing box office returns. There was also "Urban Legend: Bloody Mary", which was more of a knock-off of "The Ring", but I didn't think it was bad at the time I saw it.

2.5/4

*Mausoleum (1983) *showcases some good practical effects from John Carl Buechler... and little else... Ugh, what was the story for this again? Something about a woman who becomes possessed and kills people, I think? "Mausoleum" has awkward dialogue, wooden performances, grotesque violence, hot naked women and hilariously terrible effects work -- when not rooted in makeup or prosthetics. So why was I so bored? At the absolute least, it should be entertainingly bad, if not fun schlock. But this did nothing for me. It has a cult following though and I can see the appeal, although if you're interested, brace yourself for one hell of a racist stereotype. I might not remember the story, but I doubt I'll be forgetting that anytime soon.

1.5/4

*Nightmare Detective (2006) *is a thriller from  ("Tetsuo: Iron Man") surrounding a string of mysterious deaths where the victim committed suicide in their sleep. It becomes apparent to the detectives on the case that he's somehow entering their dreams to murder them, so they recruit a troubled psychic who specializes in examining nightmares. I really like the premise, which is reminiscent of "Inception" and "Paprika", but completely different. The movie has a lot of style and horrific imagery, but the suspense is often driven by the dialogue. The movie knows how to use words to pluck the nerves. When the killer says "Ah, I just felt you", I could feel a chill crawl down my spine. Yet the cast injects a sense of humor into their roles, which could've easily derailed the movie, but instead just makes their characters that much more likable. Unfortunately... the ending was pretty lackluster. I could see what the filmmakers were trying to do, but it seemed kind of self indulgent and plodding. Nevertheless, the journey is more important than the destination and I had a good time getting there.

3/4

*The House by the Cemetery (1981)* is sometimes regarded as the last 'good' Lucio Fulci movie, although I personally think he had a few gems following this. It seems to me that while Fulci fans like "House by the Cemetery", they don't usually love it... while those who never liked Fulci's works usually regard it has his "best" effort, even if the compliment is accompanied by a backhand. The movie... tries... to tell a story, even if it's shrouded in so much ambiguity that one wonders if they were still making it up as they go along. A family of three move into an isolated house that sits next to a cemetery in the middle of the woods. The father is a professor who's tasked with continuing the research of his predecessor, who went mad and murdered his mistress in the house before committing suicide. As he investigates what happened, the Mother and child start to encounter strange occurrences in that house. The movie is prone to setting up ideas that never get any pay-off. Why did everyone insist that the Father had visited the town before? Was the babysitter an accomplice or victim? What the f@ck was up with that ending? Fulci tries to distract us from the incoherence with faux allegory, although there was a time when I tried to make sense of it all. Nevertheless, the story is never the selling point of a Fulci flick. The violence generally is and "House by the Cemetery" is suitably gruesome. The critics were slightly kinder to this movie though because more emphasis is placed on spooky imagery and suspense than gore -- even if there's still quite a bit of gore. The 'axe' scene during the climax always ends with me chewing my nails, even though I've seen this movie like five times. There are even a few moments I consider to be downright scary. The ethereal music and gothic set design don't quite weave the same dreamlike atmosphere of "City of the Living Dead", but they do help the nonsensical writing seem more deliberate than it probably was. The cinematography is often just as beautiful as it is bleak, so "The House by the Cemetery" is arguably the most sophisticated of Fulci's films during this era... even if it still makes no sense and the kills are splattery... and the dubbing is hilarious for all the wrong reasons... I love it all!

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 25, 2020)

Why can't there be any really good ghost ship movies? The setting is so ripe for potential and all of them certainly have... their moments... a few really good aspects that deserve to be in better films, but they all seemingly miss the same mark. *Blood Vessel (2019)* is the latest misfire to feature a 'ghost ship', although like the others, it has some value that makes it hard to completely dismiss. Set during the closing days of World War 2, the survivors of a sunken allied ship float adrift on a raft until it nearly collides with a derelict ship that was previously occupied by the Nazi's. It has been completely abandoned, but an ancient evil remains onboard... I found it strange how influential "Death Ship" must have been in spite of not being all that good itself, because "Ghost Ship" practically stole its poster and "Blood Vessel" borrows it set-up, although the story admittedly goes in a different direction. The problem with "Blood Vessel" is that the characters share that unforgivable marriage of 'stupid' and 'unlikable', making it very difficult to understand why we're supposed to care. The stereotypes are broad, but the cast is pretty solid in their wretched roles. It's really hard to perform to your fullest when you fall for the "ancient evil pretends to be your loved one". The movie has absolutely no grasp of tone. The first half, for all of its flaws, takes itself very seriously and I will concede that "Blood Vessel" boasts some atmosphere. The set design is really effective, being creepy on its own but suggesting a greater horror that had me intrigued. But then it turns out that it's... f@cking vampires... The movie goes nosferatu on our asses and once again, it's not without merit. The makeup is good and there is some lore that is pretty unique, but "Blood Vessel" goes full camp. It's over-the-top and cheesy... and isn't bad at being over-the-top and cheesy, fun can certainly be had here... but I didn't really feel like I was watching the same movie as before. So in the end, "Blood Vessel" wasn't good, but there's too much good within it for it to really be bad either. I would recommend it if you think you can stomach these flaws.

2/4

*Turkey Shoot (1982)* is an Australia exploitation flick that's more action than horror, but the kills are so gruesome that I might as well talk about it here. Set during a dystopian future where anyone who doesn't conform to society is sent to camps where they're "educated" (brutalized) into becoming "proper civil servants". Even worse, rich assholes will pay good money to have the option to hunt you, such is the fate of our hapless heroes. I wouldn't call "Turkey Shoot" 'good' in the traditional sense of the word. It's very rough around the edges, being low budgeted and often awkwardly acted, thanks to some bad dialogue that clearly thinks it's insightful. But the movie is a lot of fun. The action is shockingly violent and the pacing is swift within its relatively short running-time. There are a lot of interesting and often weird ideas, like the introduction of a man who is part beast, or the various 'deadly games' and 'torture techniques' implemented by the camp. Even though the acting is 'questionable', I did gradually become invested in the characters and found them turning the tables to be very satisfying.

3/4

I don't know why I decided to revisit *I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)*, the sequel to the successful "I Know What You Did Last Summer", because I didn't even like the first one and remembered finding this bad even upon release. When f@cking twelve year old me thinks your slasher flick sucks, then it definitely does. Yet I've grown fond of horror flicks set in exotic locations, and an 'island resort' is about as exotic as they come. In the defense of "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer", I did really like the setting. But the movie is still pretty terrible. The plot doesn't make sense, the characters are seemingly suicidal in their stupidity and the attempts at creating drama amongst them only made me want to hook them in the throat myself. The killer seems to know how EVERYONE will behave without any room for error, but then becomes an idiot himself during the climax. One subplot seemingly was edited out of the cutting room floor, making everything that much more confusing and unsatisfying. At least Jenifer Love Hewitt is very charming. It's just too bad that the writing so often works against her. Even though the movie was a technical box office success, the poor reception was a big part of what killed the 1990's slasher revival. Years later, there was a direct-to-video sequel called "I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer", but I never watched it and I doubt I ever will.

1/4

*Moose: The Movie (2015)* is another one of those 'deliberately bad' microbudgeted horror parodies... but it's actually pretty amusing. Like most of its kind, "Moose" is just too long to be able to sustain the joke. But the cast is really good and there are enough strange yet amusing sight gags and lines that I never grew too impatient with it.

2.5/4

*Coherence (2013) *is more of a psychological thriller than it is horror, but I wanted to recommend it because it's very suspenseful and thought provoking. A group of friends have a dinner party while a comet passes overhead... and then weird things start to happen... "Coherence" is one of those movies where I never could predict what would happen next, even though it's surprisingly... coherent... for such a dense topic. It always knew how to keep me on edge despite relying almost entirely on its cast because of its own low budget, but I was captivated from beginning to end. Great movie.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 10, 2020)

*VFW (2019)* is a bloody action-horror, stylized after the early works of John Carpenter, about a group of war veterans whose local VFW post (ie, a bar) becomes under siege by an army of bloodthirsty junkies who chase a woman into their bar. "VFW" has nonstop action, filled with lots of violent set pieces and cool moments, although the real selling point is its cast of old school genre legends We have Stephen Lang, William Sadler, Fred Williamson, Martin Kove and plenty of others whose faces you'll recognize, if not their names. I wouldn't call "VFW" deep or anything, but it makes great use of their performers, who all get funny or bad-ass lines and share great chemistry. There even reached a point where I was wondering if I even wanted to mayhem to start, as I was perfectly content watching these guys reminiscent about the past or talk about titty bars. I absolutely loved the Carpenter-esque score, but admittedly, the lighting was a little... too atmospheric... for its own good. Sometimes it's moody or stylish, but other times it just made it difficult to appreciate some of the effects work, as it's very murky. "VFW" also struggles with its tone, as the characters will witness their life long friends get violently murdered, have a genuine reaction and then... continue to make more cracks about titty bars... Perhaps this was an attempt at gallows humor, but it sometimes lessened the dramatic impact whenever someone would perish. But it's not too big of a deal, as "VFW" is really just designed to be shallow entertainment for those who miss the 1980's grindhouse era of action and horror. As such, it's a lot of fun.

3/4        

*The New York Ripper (1982)* is easily the most controversial entry in Lucio Fulci's already controversial filmography. Depending on who you ask, it's either his last truly good flick or his first truly bad one, although both terms are relative when discussing his body of work. The movie is often reviled for being incredibly misogynistic, even by the standards of gialli or slashers -- and "New York Ripper" fits snugly within both genres. I would argue that's simply nihilistic and is actually condemning misogyny. The story is simple, with a serial killer preying upon women, but the true villain of the story is New York itself. The sets are grimey, the cinematography is bleak and the performances are gloomy. Everyone makes casually sexist comments, creating a hostile atmosphere in which a serial killer was always bound to emerge from. But even I can't deny that there seems to be a sadistic glee to the kills, which are amongst the most perverse and grotesque in all of Fulci's library, so I can understand why people would dismiss this as misogynist trash. The makeup effects are top notch though, with some of the kills making even gorehounds such as myself feel squeamish and uncomfortable. Even the sexual content feels... gross... sleazy in the most unpleasant way imaginable. I'd argue that "The New York Ripper" is "good" from the standpoint that it is everything it's trying to be, even if what it's striving for is simply too extreme for general audiences, but then... the killer literally starts quacking like Donald Duck... This movie is far too dark to be that silly and every time he or she quacks in that voice, it's hard not to start laughing. The mystery is pretty clunky as well, with the red herrings being too transparent to work. So is "The New York Ripper" Fulci's last good film? Or his first bad film? Ummm... I don't think it really matters, as the kills upstaged the quality anyway, for better or worse. Whether you think they're cool, perverse, convincing, misogynistic... You either like the movie because of them or hate the movie because of them. 

2.5/4   

*The Corruption of Chris Miller (1973)* is a Spanish take on the Italian giallo... sort of... I've heard some describe this as an anti-giallo, because while it does have some of its trappings, the tension does not surround a mysterious killer... who is indeed prowling the country side... but instead is rooted in a deranged love triangle. Chris Miller (Marisol) and her Step Mother Ruth (Jean Seberg) live together in an isolated manor, even though their relationship is a troubled one. But when a strange wanderer (Barney Stokes) enters their lives, they both fall for him... except a killer has been on the prowl in the area and he is the prime suspect. "The Corruption of Chris Killer" is definitely a movie with personality, often having strange and eccentric quirks that make it a little difficult to predict, even though the mystery itself is pretty easy to solve. This is definitely one of the more artfully made gialli, if it does even belong in the genre, with beautiful yet moody cinematography and a haunting score. The cast is great and the finale is very suspenseful. I'd argue that it's more of an erotic thriller styled after a giallo, but even that description isn't really accurate. "The Corruption of Chris Miller" is good, but it's not easy to categorize, so I wouldn't recommend it for just anyone.

3/4 

*My Little Eye (2002)* was a pretty cool take on the 'found footage' genre, in that it was shot using web cams for a reality show where five strangers have to stay in an isolated house for 6 months to win a million dollars -- but the catch is that none of them are allowed to leave. This becomes complicated when... bad things... start to happen around the house, forcing them to decide whether the money is really worth it. I really liked the mystery and even though the characters aren't always likable, they're at least always compelling. They face some thought provoking moral dilemmas and the filmmakers use them to build tension and unease. The writing is sometimes questionable, as it relies on characters making illogical decisions at times and the finale fell a little flat for me. But "My Little Eye" was pretty gripping for awhile and deserves more attention for its accomplishments in spite of its meager resources. 

3/4 

*Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)* isn't as bad most people would have you believe. There is some value to find in this sequel -- such as the moody score, chilling set design and a great use of New Orleans atmosphere. Tony Todd is always awesome and I liked how they expanded on the backstory of the character, without really deflating his mystique. The kills are pretty cool too, being more plentiful and nastier this time around, but that's part of the problem... "Candyman 2" is really just another slasher, which will disappoint those who were impressed that the first film was much more than a slasher. The writing is full of eye ball rolling moments of stupidity and the acting is inconsistent, but... at least the kills are cool.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 15, 2020)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER *-- "" is another horror franchise that traveled from Japan to Hollywood... then back to Japan again... and recently visited Hollywood again... but then returned to Japan after all... and at some point journeyed to South Korea. "Ringu" (or just "Ring") was an immediate horror classic that shaped the genre in its own image, but its Hollywood remake also turned out to be an immediate horror classic that also shaped the genre in its own image. So why would the franchise lose much of its international popularity? Let's find out as we cover --

-- "Ring: Kanzenban (1995)": The made-for-TV movie.
-- "Ringu (1998)"
-- "Rasen (1998)": The forgotten sequel
-- "Ringu 2 (1999)"
-- "The Ring Virus (1999)": The South Korean remake
-- "Ringu 0 (2000)"
-- "The Ring (2002)"
-- "The Ring Two (2005)"

Much like my coverage of "Ju-On/The Grudge", I've decided to split this review series into two parts, with this one focusing on the franchise when it was at its most popular.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 1, 2021)

*His House (2020) *is a fresh and interesting take on the classic haunting tale, with two refugees from South Sudan seeking asylum in England, but are forced to live in a dilapidated house where 'something' terrorizes them. I really found myself drawn to the plight of the protagonists, who quickly recognize they are being haunted, but their circumstances prevents them from leaving easily. They're both sympathetic, but at the same time you're not entirely sure you can trust them, as it quickly becomes apparent that they're hiding a dark secret. When they start behaving unpleasantly or make rash decisions, it makes perfect sense within the context of the story, so what would normally be grating writing serves as another way of building tension here. Finally, "His House" does have a few very scary moments. The filmmakers keep the visuals consistently creepy and emphasize the feelings of isolation that the couple is feeling, but I have to admit... some of the scares just straight up frightened me. That doesn't happen very often.

3.5/4

*#Alive (2020)* is a South Korean zombie film about a gaming streamer who becomes trapped in his apartment when a zombie outbreak quickly ravages the city. I loved how all of the technology that we take for granted becomes a big part of the story, as society's emphasis on wi-fi and wireless networks would totally f@ck us over in an apocalyptic situation. Social media will truly be the end of the world. The exception is the protagonists high tech looking drone, which it utilized in some really cool and fun ways (drone vs zombie?!). "#Alive" has a surprisingly strong emotional core underneath all of the zombie carnage though. Sure, there's a lot of thrills and chills, but it would occasionally warm my heart or make me sniffle. They even fit a lot of good laughs in there, giving the audience a much fuller experience than normal genre entertainment. I think the biggest problem with "#Alive" is that South Korea has set the bar so high in regards to zombie flicks and stuff like "Train to Busan" or "Kingdom" will engulf it in their shadows, but at least this tried something different -- and managed to be really good on its own.

3.5/4

I think *The Dead Next Door (1989)* is supposed to be a throwback to the Italian zombie flicks of late 1970's/early 1980's, but admittedly that's only because of the wooden performances and awkward dubbing, which are so exaggerated at times that this... might be a parody? If "The Dead Next Door" is meant to be comedic, then it's so dry that it blurs the lines between homage and send-up. I was amused for a bit, but I have to confess... I started to drift off... This is a very short movie and I wasn't tired, so the "joke" grew stale fast for me. Nevertheless, the makeup effects were pretty good. There are some cool, gory moments that definitely we were reminiscent of Italian horror. I was surprised to learn that Sam Raimi produced this, even getting Bruce Campbell to do some dubbing.

2/4 

*Contamination (1980)* is f@cking awesome, being one of the craziest Italian horror films of all time, even though Italian horror is always pretty f@cking bonkers. The set-up is derivative of "Alien", where scientists board a derelict ship and find mysterious "eggs". Anyone who comes into contact with them will die from an exploding chest. The story enters some pretty strange territory, not helped by the unusual chemistry of the cast. The gore effects are good, although admittedly the pacing starts to get sluggish around the middle block. The filmmakers had fully intended to make an "Alien" rip-off, but apparently a producer insisted they borrow elements from James Bond, so there's a bland detour into spy movie territory that just wasn't quite as fun. Everything was forgiven though when the climax arrived and we see "what" is behind the eggs. It has to be the most ambitious effects work in Italian horror history and my jaw was firmly planted to the floor, as it's such a f@cking bizarre visual that blurs the lines between good and bad. I watched this nearly a month ago, but made a point to take a note of my "criticisms" after it was over, because I knew I'd forget everything else outside of... THAT... Sure enough, all I can really remember is that glorious climax. It really did make the movie. Much like all Italian productions of the time, you have to accept the illogical writing and sometimes hokey dubbing, but if you're a fan of these kinds of films... you definitely need to check this out.

3.5/4

*Outland (1981)* isn't really a horror movie... I had been told it was a murder mystery set in space that starred Sean Connery and was a little disappointed that it was really just a science fiction take on "High Noon", but at least it still did star Sean Connery? Obviously "High Noon" is a classic and there's nothing wrong with dusting off the tale and updating it to a new genre, but I felt a little mislead. I decided to mention it here because even though it's not horror, you can definitely recognize the influence of "Alien" in its brooding, sinister set design. There are also a few shockingly gory death scenes, so "Outland" can technically satisfy a horror audience... even if it's more of a thriller. I thought it was just OK. I liked the setting and it has its moments, but it's a hollow mystery and Connery might be a little miscast. I felt like the story demanded an actor who was a little more... normal... and not manliness incarnate, as the suspense is built on the idea that he might be in over his head. This is undermined whenever he'd casually dismiss a credible threat, because Connery is just too cool to be threatened. The supporting cast is really good though and play off him very well. "Outland" isn't a bad movie at all, but it's not as good as it feels like it should have been.

2.5/4

*Kiss of the Vampire (1963)* is a really cool example of Hammer Horror, laying on the Gothic imagery thick while relying on an exceptional cast. A charming couple are travelling for their Honeymoon until they find themselves stranded in a small village, where they befriend a mysterious aristocratic family -- who are obviously vampires. The movie does a good job with its characters. The honeymooners are likable and fun, while the vampires are... unpredictable. They themselves can be charming and endearing, but there's immediately something off about their behavior and when they show their true colors, you feel nervous in their presence. The ending has some surprisingly ambitious effects work... although I still find myself thinking of "Contamination" as I write this. That movie was f@cking crazy!

... But this was very good too.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 9, 2021)

*Possessor (2020)* is a Brandon Cronenberg (yes, son David) science fiction thriller that's really out there and unconventional. The whole concept is pretty unique, where brain implant technology allows assassins to hijack other people's bodies to execute targets for them.  The story enters territory that I didn't always expect, with the characters being unpredictable in their behaviors and actions as well -- without feeling out of character for them. I'm not familiar with Brandon Cronenberg's other work, but you can definitely see the influences of his Father. There are a lot of trippy visuals and grotesque acts of violence, complete with body horror. I was taken aback by how gruesome this was, but Brandon also has his own style and keeps his direction strangely elegant in contrast to the graphic violence. Yet this is one of those cases where I admire the movie more than I like it, as the characters are pretty unlikable and so detached from their surroundings that it's hard to become invested in them. I was invested in what they were doing for sure, but I could care less who survived or who died. The movie is also very slow, so it won't be for everyone. Nevertheless, Brandon Cronenberg is definitely on my radar and "Possessor" is one of the smarter science fiction films I've seen as of late.  

3/4

*Ghosts of War (2020)* is one of those movies I REALLY want to love, as it's a ghost story set during World War 2 and that is a combination that will never grow old for me... and for awhile, I was enjoying "Ghosts of War". The budget was obviously limited, but they make the most out of it, hiring a credible cast and finding a great, spooky location. I was getting pretty creeped out by the sound design and manipulative lighting, while the filmmakers drew out some suspense out the concept. Not only is our squad of soldiers having to stay at a haunted chateau, there's also a battalion of Nazi's prowling in the area and their presence is always felt. Sure... there were some really cheesy jump scares, but I was still having fun! It's just too bad that "Ghosts of War" shits the bed with its ending. I hated the big reveal and hated the attempt at a sequel hook even more, as it's at the expense of an actual f@cking conclusion. The twist made me so mad that I found myself souring on the movie as a whole. 

2/4

Cult director Sion Sono's *Noriko's Dinner Table (2005)* is technically a sequel/prequel to "Suicide Club", but it is NOT part of the same genre -- this being more of an artsy drama than the quirky horror film its predecessor was. There are some bursts of violence though and a handful of suspenseful and outright uncomfortable situations. "Noriko's Dinner Table" does explore a lot of the same themes that "Suicide Club" did, although it only answers questions through subtext. The movie is very long (over 2 and a half hours) and very talky to the point of rambling, but Sono is a stylish filmmaker and I was strangely invested in the story (even if I didn't always understand it).

2.5/4  

*Creep (2004)* is a British-German horror film about a woman being chased by... something... in the London Underground. I love the setting and it's utilized to its fullest, being so disgusting and sinister that my own claustrophobia started to kick in. The chase scenes are intense and the kills are brutal, with very little downtime in between. The acting and writing are a cut above the norm too, but the movie has a serious tonal problem. At times it plays out like a black comedy, but then it gets very disturbing and were we supposed to feel bad for the coked up rapist?! "Creep" has a lot of good stuff, but it's too disturbing to be consistently fun and too funny to be consistently disturbing.  

2.5/4 

*The Curse of la Llorona (2019)* belongs to the "Conjuring" franchise, as part of the brands efforts to expand into a shared universe. The reviews were pretty dismal, but it grossed over 100 million dollars, which shows how popular the franchise is -- as this is still its lowest grossing entry.  The movie itself isn't anywhere near as bad as everyone says it is. The acting is pretty good and the production values are above average for a horror flick. There were some effective jump scares, but there f@cking better be, considering how this is really nothing but jump scares. The story feels like it's cobbled together from every other haunting flick ever made, so you could predict everything that's going to happen within the first 10 minutes. La Llorona is a real ghost tale, but in spite of that credential, she can be mistaken for any other demonic entity. The design, her motivations, her abilities -- same shit, different name. The ending starts relying on characters making stupid decisions to keep the plot moving and some subplots are simply forgotten about, but "The Curse of la Llorona" is harmless in a disposable kind of way. It's too short and fast paced for any of the flaws to really linger, even though it's also too short and fast paced for any of the strengths to leave a lasting impact.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 27, 2021)

*Annabelle Comes Home (2019)* is the 3rd entry in the "Annabelle" franchise... and the 7th entry in "The Conjuring" franchise... although chronologically it's set between "The Conjuring" and "The Curse of Llorona" (so the 1970's). Judy (McKenna Grace) is the daughter of the Warrens (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, who appear in cameos) and is ostracized for being part of a family of demonologists. She's also caught the attention of the demon possessing the Annabelle doll, but luckily it's trapped -- oh wait, the babysitter's friend is stupid enough to accidentally release her and EVERY f@cking malevolent entity whom the Warrens have imprisoned over the years. So yes, the story relies a bit too much on the stupidity of its characters, but it's still pretty fun. The pacing moves at a brisk pace, there's a lot of stylish visuals and plenty of jump scares. There's a stigma on 'jump scares' right now, but I just see them as another way of connecting with the audience. There is a right way and a wrong way of utilizing them, just like anything else. I thought "Annabelle Comes Home" found plenty of fun ways to startle people, so this is a good 'jump scare' flick. Yet even I found myself tearing my hair out whenever a character did something absurdly stupid... and I'm bald... so there are also very valid reasons to dislike "Annabelle Comes Home". I'd say it's a pretty middle ground entry within both of its franchises though, for better or worse.   

2.5/4 

Michael Chrichton's *Westworld (1973)* isn't so much a horror movie as much as it's a science fiction thriller, but let's face it... A homicidal Yul Brynner is much scarier than most of the genre anyway. You can see where "Westworld" would go on to inspire movies like "The Terminator", "Halloween" and Crichton's own "Jurassic Park". The whole concept is that there's a futuristic (adult), highly authentic amusement park that can make you feel like you've gone back in time to either the old west (hence, the title), the Roman Empire or the Medieval times -- with lifelike androids populating these three worlds. "Westworld" does a great job at making the audience feel envy for the characters, as these worlds do seem like a lot of fun. But eventually the androids start malfunctioning and posing a deadly threat to the guests. There is good suspense here and the short running-time certainly kept it from dragging, but I think the biggest issue with "Westworld" is that it has been upstaged by the movies it would inspire (especially "Jurassic Park"). You can tell that it's sometimes struggling with the budget, but I still thought it overcame its limitations pretty well. The cast is good, with both Richard Benjamin and Josh Brolin being so endearing that I wouldn't have minded if the tone remained light hearted and fun throughout. But holy shit, Yul Brynner is terrifying as the robotic outlaw who relentlessly hunts our heroes down.

I hear the TV series is excellent, so I plan on exploring that next, as this concept is really fascinating. 

3/4 

I'm actually surprised it's taken me so long to watch *The Blob (1958)*, as the 1980's remake was a childhood favorite of mine. This was sort of a strange experience, as it seamlessly blurs the lines between hokey and creepy. The blob itself is strangely menacing in spite looking so silly and moving at a snails pace, as its methods of devouring its victims are pretty disturbing. But then the actors will start speaking and their often hammy delivery of unusual dialogue is enough to break the tension -- for better or worse. The effects work was pretty good for the time period though, somehow mostly managing to evade unintentional laughter. I had mixed thoughts on Steve McQueen's casting as the hero though. On one hand, he's a great actor with lots of charisma and even though he apparently was embarrassed to be in this, he still turned in a compelling performance. On the other hand, he looks way too old to be a convincing teenager, so that was pretty amusing too. I enjoyed "The Blob", but it does eventually start to feel a little long, even though the movie is quite short.

2.5/4  

*Cronos (1993) *is the full-length feature, directorial debut of Guillermo del Toro, being an unorthodox take on vampire lore. An elderly antiques dealer comes across an ancient - yet - mechanical scarab that attaches itself to his flesh and drinks his blood. This makes him feel stronger and younger, but also gives him his own taste for human blood. Despite often being categorized as a horror, it's really more of the usual blending of genres that del Toro has become known for -- being part horror, fantasy, drama and dark comedy. I appreciated how unique it was and the cast is really good. You can definitely see the start of a great filmmaker in here, even though this is definitely the kind of oddity that isn't for everyone.

3/4  

*Onibaba (1964)* is a psychological horror from  ("Kuroneko") that's kind of hard to describe without spoiling anything -- something most plot descriptions inadvertently do. Set in fourteenth century Japan, the countryside has been ravaged by civil war. An elderly woman () and her recently widowed daughter-in-law () survive by killing wounded and straggling samurai so they can sell their armor. This life has become a well oiled routine for them, but then the younger woman begins an affair with the roguish Hachi (), which makes things tense for everyone until... something bad is going to happen. This is very methodically paced, but the cinematography is very moody and the sound design is unsettling, keeping the audience in a perpetually uncomfortable state. The slow pacing only intensifies the unease. "Onibaba" isn't always easy to like, as the characters aren't what I'd call sympathetic, but it's very artfully made and boasts some incredibly spooky moments. My only real issue was the ending, which was abrupt and unsatisfying, especially as there seemed to be an obvious resolution that would've been perfect -- although it's also kind of obvious that the director was playing with our expectations. 

3.5/4


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## reiatsuflow (Jan 28, 2021)

@MartialHorror have you seen psycho goreman yet? 

I never got troma movies but this was my first troma-esque experience where I actually had a blast.

although it took me maybe 20 minutes to figure out the vibe of the movie


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## Uncle Acid (Jan 28, 2021)

Psycho Goreman was a weird one, but as with most things done by Steven Kostanski it was a total blast (Father's Day is the only one that's not a blast, but even that is a fun one for most part). Psycho Goreman was original as hell, over the top, silly and strange as hell, but it got loads and loads of heart and it never fails to entertain or surprise with where it's going. A blast!

Reactions: Agree 1


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## MartialHorror (Jan 28, 2021)

Not yet, but I'm sure I'll get to it soon. It certainly looks delightfully bizarre.


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## wibisana (Feb 5, 2021)

MartialHorror said:


> Not yet, but I'm sure I'll get to it soon. It certainly looks delightfully bizarre.


do you watch many zombie movie/series in general?
I watch bride and prejudice and zombie (european medieval zombie) while ago, now I am binging (Korean medieval zombie), do you have any other recommendation about kind of these? Zombie movie in different time periode?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 5, 2021)

wibisana said:


> do you watch many zombie movie/series in general?
> I watch bride and prejudice and zombie (european medieval zombie) while ago, now I am binging (Korean medieval zombie), do you have any other recommendation about kind of these? Zombie movie in different time periode?



"Rampant", which is pretty derivative of "Kingdom", but somehow manages to hold its own as solid zombie entertainment. It's seriously pretty much the same story, but in movie form.

Otherwise, all I can think of is "Overlord" (WW2 zombies) .

If you find any other good ones, let me know as period piece horror is always something I'm interested in.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## wibisana (Feb 5, 2021)

MartialHorror said:


> "Rampant", which is pretty derivative of "Kingdom", but somehow manages to hold its own as solid zombie entertainment. It's seriously pretty much the same story, but in movie form.
> 
> Otherwise, all I can think of is "Overlord" (WW2 zombies) .
> 
> If you find any other good ones, let me know as period piece horror is always something I'm interested in.


will do


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## Uncle Acid (Feb 13, 2021)

You into the Wrong Turn franchise? Saw the new Wrong Turn, the "reboot", yesterday and thought it was really good. It could just as well have been released under another title, but it was loads of fun.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 13, 2021)

Uncle Acid said:


> You into the Wrong Turn franchise? Saw the new Wrong Turn, the "reboot", yesterday and thought it was really good. It could just as well have been released under another title, but it was loads of fun.



I saw the first... 4 of them, I think. For a franchise with meager resources that went direct-to-DVD pretty quickly, it wasn't bad. 

I will definitely check out the new one sooner or later.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2021)

The much anticipated *Train to Busan presents: Peninsula (2020*) doesn't quite live up to the expectations of its predecessor, but that doesn't mean it still isn't entertaining. I think the biggest problem with doing a sequel to "Train to Busan" is that the original relied so much on its train setting and how both the characters and the zombies interacted with it. Yet the novelty wouldn't carry very well into a sequel, so "Peninsula" plays out more like a post apocalyptic thriller. South Korea has been quarantined by the rest of the world, where the survivors must not only contend with zombies, but also with deranged soldiers who have gone "Mad Max" levels of crazy. A small team of heroes is sent behind the quarantine to retrieve some money, but obviously the conflict becomes much more than that. The setting is cool and there are some inventive touches, like that 'zombie game', which probably could've been its own movie if the filmmakers wanted to go that route. "Peninsula" favors the set pieces over story, character or tension, so the emotional core which elevated the first movie is seriously lacking. I was baffled when they attempted to get me to shed tears at the end over the tragic fate of a character we barely knew. With that said, the set pieces were pretty damn cool. The action scenes boast a lot of ambitious visuals and the pacing is so swift that the faults never were able to linger very long. The car chases were uneven because of some dodgy CGI, but there were still some good "Holy shit!" moments. I think this sequel is more likely to entertain you than not, as long as you keep your expectations in check. "Peninsula" is not the classic that "Train to Busan" was, but it's an enjoyable follow-up.

3/4  

*Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974)* is the final entry in the Hammer Frankenstein franchise, but unfortunately, it is one of the lesser sequels... and still perfectly OK... Peter Cushing's performances as the mad doctor has made even the worst of these movies entertaining. It's strange how some of these movies downplay his sociopathic traits to where he almost resembles a hero, while others make him so villainous that you almost start to wonder why you're kind of rooting for him. "Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell" for some reason tries to sell us on the moral ambiguity of the character, as he is more charming here than usual and he at least claims he isn't a murderer... except we've seen him kill people before, so I don't really know why the story was being coy about it. I really enjoyed his interactions with Helder (Shane Briant), an equally mad doctor who becomes Frankenstein's assistant, although his character development didn't quite work for me. The setting is an insane asylum and director Terence Fisher builds up some pretty good atmosphere out of it. There are a few chilling moments, like when the inmates listen to the howls of the 'monster', but that leads to the films biggest shortcoming. The monster f@cking sucks. Besides making little sense from an overarching narrative standpoint, as Frankenstein should be well past making grotesque creatures made out of spare parts by this point, the makeup is atrocious. It really looks like the monster is just some dude in a Halloween mask and I could never take it seriously. 

It was pointed out to me that this was released not long after "The Exorcist", so "Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell" would've even looked dated within the year of its release. But if you enjoy these old Hammer horror films, especially ones starring Peter Cushing, then you can get some value out of this too.

2.5/4 

*From Hell (2001) *is an adaptation of a graphic novel by Alan Moore, about Jack the Ripper. I haven't read it, but the visual style is often reminiscent of a very dark comic, although it's also quite cinematic. The aesthetic is gloomy, yet bathed in striking colors that make for an interesting contrast. The cast, headed by Johnny Depp, is great and filled with lots of recognizable character actors. The problem is that the movie fails as a mystery. It's trying to shroud Jack's identity using a lot of red herrings, but it also more-or-less telegraphs why the murders are happening and it's so obvious who the killer is that part of me wonders if the filmmakers didn't originally intend for it to be a mystery. Scenes often meander because the characters are so slow to catch on to what we already know. "From Hell" is very stylish though.

2.5/4  
*
The Wretched (2019) *was allegedly produced for $66,000 and I for one am stunned at how polished and professionally made this looks, as I would have assumed the budget would've been in the low millions. Yet it resembles a normal Hollywood production -- albeit one that's very good. The story isn't necessarily anything new (a teenager starts to suspect that a witch is preying upon his neighbors), but the characters are sympathetic and their situations horrifying. There are some genuinely scary moments and the script uses some shocking twists and turns to keep the tension high. I never felt like these kids were safe. There is a final twist that will probably be somewhat divisive and I'm not sure how I feel about it myself. The foreshadowing was on point, so I wouldn't say it was badly written, yet for some reason it didn't connect with me. I'd still argue that "The Wretched" was one of the best horror movies of the year though. There's an excellent balance of suspense, creepy imagery and shocking violence. The fact it was made on a shoestring budget just makes it that much more impressive.

3.5/4  

*The Lodge (2019)* is a slow burn "high brow" horror, cut from the same cloth as "Hereditary". I thought the movie was really good until it reached its twist ending, which you'll either love or hate -- and I hated for reasons I can't really reveal without spoilers. I just didn't buy it, but others were either were able to roll with it or even found it to be inspired. Up until that point though, "The Lodge" was wowing me with its great performances, sophisticated cinematography and editing, along with some inventive (if sometimes derivative) stylistic choices from the director. The characters are frustrating, but in a relatable way and the mystery as to what is happening is compelling. The slow pacing might alienate a lot of people, but I thought it added to the tension... at least until that 'twist' deflated the whole experience...

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## MartialHorror (Feb 28, 2021)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* - ""

"The Exorcist (1973)" was an immediate horror masterpiece that shaped the horror genre in its own image... and apparently helped kill off blacksploitation for some reason... yet its reputation would gradually be diluted over the years thanks to imitations, parodies and of course... sequels... Every subsequent entry within the franchise would boast respectable budgets and talents, but the reception ranged from 'mixed' to 'one of the worst movies of all time' and box office profits remain elusive to this day -- even on the small screen. So why is it that this franchise can't seem to find its footing, even though it has all of the resources to be successful? We discuss this and more in this review series, which includes --

-- "The Exorcist (1973)"
-- "Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)"
-- "The Exorcist III (1990)"
-- "Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)"
-- "Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)"
-- "The Ninth Configuration (1980)" -- This is somewhat of a spiritual sequel.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 14, 2021)

*The New Mutants (2020)* was that "X-Men" horror movie that everyone was pretty excited about... and then its release date got pushed back... and then it got pushed back again... and again... and again... By the time it finally came out, no one really cared as everyone was anticipating a disaster. For what it's worth, "The New Mutants" isn't really bad as much as it's just mediocre. It is a shame too, as you can really tell that everyone involved was trying to make it work. There is genuine effort in developing the characters, the cast is turning in strong performances and the director attempts to try a few things differently. We keep hearing words like 'diversity' and 'representation' being thrown around by the industry, but "The New Mutants" has been one of the only mainstream movies to prioritize a lesbian couple without being coy about it. The problem is that while "The New Mutants" has all of the ingredients to stand out, it simply doesn't. The action scenes are kind of lackluster compared to other "X-Men" properties, but while this should be fine as the story is clearly meant to be smaller in scale, "The New Mutants" isn't much of a horror movie either. It relies on some dodgy visual effects and the horror set pieces felt strangely disconnected to the narrative. There's also a bit of a mystery, but it's so predictable that it's hard to get invested in. It also really doesn't help that "The New Mutants" has been upstaged by its behind-the-scenes troubles, which can lead audiences to either be too harsh because they want to see it fail or be too kind because it wasn't as bad as they expected.

2/4

*Sputnik (2020)* is a science fiction-horror from Russia, set during the Cold War. A space shuttle crashes on Earth, with one astronaut miraculously surviving. He doesn't remember what happened though and the KBG is keeping him confined on an isolated military base, where a psychiatrist is summoned to figure out what's wrong with him. It quickly becomes apparent that his condition might be... extra-terrestrial in nature... "Sputnik" was really good, an imaginative creature feature with tension and a surprisingly moving emotional core. My only complaint was one narrative device involving a crippled child that seemed unnecessary, but otherwise, this was one of a few good things to come out of 2020. 

3.5/4 

*Unhinged (2020)* has been described as "The Duel" meets "Joy Ride", with a dash of "Changing Lanes", multiplied by a f@cking pissed off Russell Crowe. The movie itself is pretty standard, although the finale does showcase some impressive car stunts. Characters are prone to doing stupid things and you know who will die and when they'll die, because we've seen this formula far too many times before, but none of that matters. The writing, editing, direction, etc. is built around Crowe's intense and wild performance. He's pretty f@cking scary and I really appreciate that the filmmakers don't let the audience root for him. Whenever I would facepalm at a characters bad decision, Crowe would glower me into submission. The running-time is also short enough and the pacing fast enough that I ended up really enjoying "Unhinged", in spite of myself.

3/4 

I've always known of *Blacula (1972)*, but I have to confess I was surprised that the tragic vampire Mamuwalde (William Marshall) was actually called 'Blacula'. This is definitely a pretty campy example of blaxploitation, being far to cheesy to ever really be scary, even though the filmmakers are obviously going for more amusement than anything else. Nevertheless, I have to confess that a few of the jump scares kind of got me. The cast is really good too. Marshall adds a touch of class to the picture with his compelling performance  and  was pretty bad-ass as the 'Van Helsing'-esque hero, who unfortunately didn't get a punny title like Blacula did. 

2.5/4 

*Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020)* is a polish slasher about internet-addicted teenagers going to an 'offline camp', where they're hunted by some freak of nature in the woods. This tries to balance comedy with splatter, but is only partially successful. The kills are pretty gruesome and amusing, but the problem is that the tone often skews a bit too dark to support them. There is an effort to flesh out the characters and give them tragic backstories, so it's often kind of depressing when all of their trauma amounts to being murdered in an almost comical kind of way. I also found some of the plot developments to be confusing and unnecessary, but it's all so fast paced that I might've simply missed something. I enjoy a good ole fashioned slasher and "Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight" still technically satisfied my cravings. It's bloody, sometimes sexy, occasionally funny and I dug the music, but it's also tonally kind of a mess.

2.5/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Magic (Mar 14, 2021)

reiatsuflow said:


> @MartialHorror have you seen psycho goreman yet?


I was going to say this just now, glad I scrolled through.



Uncle Acid said:


> Psycho Goreman was a weird one, but as with most things done by Steven Kostanski it was a total blast (Father's Day is the only one that's not a blast, but even that is a fun one for most part). Psycho Goreman was original as hell, over the top, silly and strange as hell, but it got loads and loads of heart and it never fails to entertain or surprise with where it's going. A blast!


Power rangers on crack+ uh billy and mandy. Comedy Horror.

Reactions: Like 1


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## reiatsuflow (Mar 15, 2021)

saint maud

Most engrossing and horrific movie I've seen in quite awhile.

The problem is the reason it was so engrossing and also horrific is I had zero idea what I was getting into so announcing it's so horrific is gonna ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Apr 28, 2021)

Even though these movies don't really quality as either horror or martial arts, they have enough of a connection to both genres that I thought I would just talk about them a bit. I've been on a bit of a Kaiju-a-thon lately. 

*Godzilla's Revenge (1969)* is almost universally regarded as the worst Godzilla movie ever made, but I am going to be its lone defender... while also conceding that it is indeed the worst Godzilla movie ever made... I mean, the budget was so f@cking low that the effects team had to rely mostly on stock footage of previous sequels -- that weren't even the most highly regarded entries within the franchise themselves. It's pretty bizarre watching Godzilla's appearance drastically change from scene to scene, as different suits were used in "Godzilla Vs the Sea Monster" and "Son of Godzilla", with the "Destroy All Monsters" design being dusted off for the (limited) new footage. Nevertheless, Godzilla still looks OK when grading on a curve, but... holy f@ck, who thought Minya talking was a good idea? The soulless eyes were terrifying enough, but the way its jaw moves whenever it would speak in English (or Japanese)... mixed in with his highly annoying monster grunts... makes him truly the most frightening beast in all of Kaiju-dom. Gabara is not a fondly remembered monster himself, but I thought he served his purpose well enough. The story is... well... different, as it's really a coming-of-age story surrounding a young boy name Ichiro, whose active imagination can put him on monster island. It's never clear if Godzilla really exists in this continuity or if he's meant to be a fictional creation, although the latter could give some justification for the stock footage -- if only within the context of the storu. Unfortunately, Ichiro is just strange and annoying and I'm convinced he will grow up to be a serial killer. 

"Godzilla's Revenge" certainly sucks, but it was also the second Godzilla movie I ever watched, following... "Godzilla 1985"... and yes, I regret not remembering how I would've felt about experiencing one of the cheapest, cheesiest entries after one of the darker, bigger budgeted entries. I do remember getting this for Christmas though. My parents had one of those larger Godzilla toys standing upright, carrying the VHS copy of "Godzilla's Revenge" that I still have to this day. So even if "Godzilla's Revenge" is bad, I have a little bit of a nostalgic attachment to it. Sometimes... I'm even fond of the movie... 

Just not this time...

1.5/4

*Godzilla Vs Gigan (1972) *was pretty disappointing, but to be fair, I remember being disappointed by this before. I've noticed that as an adult, my favorite Godzilla films of the 'Showa Era' (the original series) were the ones I had the most exposure to. For the entries I only saw sporadically, such as "Destroy All Monsters" or "King Kong Vs Godzilla", I would like them at the time... but they don't hold up very well when I revisit them years later. I thought "Godzilla Vs Gigan" was awesome when I first saw it, but I checked it out maybe 10 years ago and found it to be kind of dull. Now I find it to be really dull. I will say this... the human characters are moderately entertaining. But the story they participate in moves at a very slow pace, with very little monster action until the climax

Unfortunately, once the Kaiju brawl begins, it's pretty sluggish and incomprehensible. While not as dependent on stock footage as "Godzilla's Revenge", it still uses just enough to kill any sense of continuity, as it will alternate rapidly between day and night and Godzilla's suit changes. There are a lot of close-ups in the dark, which is shrouded in smoke and the monsters spend half of the fight trash talking or posturing. The Godzilla suit is literally falling apart in some shots and Ghidorah was in such disrepair that they had to use a f@cking toy model for half of his flying scenes -- and stock footage for the rest. "Godzilla Vs Gigan" did introduce Gigan though, who would become one of the more popular monsters of the franchise. He does have a cool design and boasts the honor of being the first to make Godzilla bleed. I've also always been fond of Anguirus, even if he is pretty useless here and his mouth doesn't move when he roars. He looks adorable though and his friendship moments with Godzilla somehow still warm my heart. "Godzilla Vs Gigan" is pretty bad, but it does have enough memorable moments to be worth watching if you're a Godzilla fan. The villains are cockroach people, Godzilla and Anguirus exchange words... in english (!!!), Akira Ifukube turns in a stellar score and Gigan's buzzsaw makes for some grisly violence. But I was still drifting off much more than I should have been.

1.5/4 

*The War of the Gargantuas (1966) *is a pretty stellar kaiju flick from the filmmakers behind the Godzilla franchise, although this is a sequel to their lesser known "Frankenstein Conquers the World". I don't know if I've seen that one all the way through, but it features Baragon, who would later on appear in a Godzilla flick, so... I guess this is sort of a Godzilla movie too? There are multiple cuts of the film, one referencing the events of its predecessor and one functioning as a standalone story. Two monsters appear in Japan and one has developed a taste for human flesh, while the other is more protective of humanity. What makes "The War of the Gargantuas" unique is that the monsters are brothers, so don't really want to fight in spite of their differences, but are inevitably going to be drawn in battle. The designs are simple, yet effective. Gaira (the evil one) is pretty grotesque and menacing, while Sanda (the good one) is emotive and sympathetic. They might be gigantic, but they don't really tower over the cities like their contemporaries did. This allows for more details in the miniatures and they move a lot faster, adding a different kind of energy for the fights. It's just too bad that the story relies so much on the presence of Russ Tamblyn, who looks both bored and embarrassed. The character is way too casual amidst all of the carnage, drastically limiting the tension. "The War of the Gargantuas" is still pretty good though and deserves more attention than it gets.

3/4 

*Rebirth of Mothra (1996)* was part of a trilogy that entered development in response to the box office success of "Godzilla and Mothra: Battle for Earth" and the "Gamera" revival, but this will be my first time watching any of them. I never even knew if their existence in the 1990's, as the heisei series of Godzilla flicks were difficult to come by at that time and... I always thought Mothra was just too girly... Despite Mothra's previous appearance (I think in "Godzilla Vs Space Godzilla"?) suggesting she was about to embark on another adventure, "Rebirth of Mothra" is a complete reboot... and it's very much for kids... There is a lot of broad comedy designed for the little ones, while the visual effects are both bad and energetic. There is a lot of weird stuff, like the iconic fairies riding a little Mothra into battle against an evil fairy and her little, robotic dragon. The production values step up considerably when Desghidorah (a black, four legged Ghidorah) arrives on the scene and is f@cking awesome. This might be my favorite Ghidorah design and the effects used to bring it to life are great. There are two Mothras, the traditional version and her son Leo, who I think looks pretty bad-ass for a moth. With that said, the larvae form really liked a giant turd to me.

 The problem with "Rebirth of Mothra" isn't the cheesiness though, but it's REALLY badly paced. I was initially pleased with how quickly Desghidorah and Mothra start their battle and there's some cool interactions with them (and little Leo) that required elaborate staging, but it seems like it goes on forever. This was also sort of a problem with the Godzilla movies at the time, as suits were so much more sophisticated with the animatronics that they couldn't do much with them, so the battles amounted to glorified light shows. But "Rebirth of Mothra" drags on and climaxes prematurely. I actually thought the movie had reached its conclusion... 30 minutes before it actually did... There are also three different musical numbers, which certainly did not help the pacing one bit. So yeah, "Rebirth of Mothra" isn't great, I'm sure kids will appreciate it more than I did. I know that I would've loved Desghidorah and even Mothra Leo, had I seen this back in 1996.

2/4 

*Rebirth of Mothra II (1997)* is one of those special movies that somehow both bores and annoys me at once. I do have to emphasize that this sequel was clearly designed for young children, as its predecessor was, so I'm already at a disadvantage. The story is conceptually interesting, as some kids find themselves going on a tomb raiding adventure in order to stop -- er, assisting Mothra Leo in stopping -- a monster called Dagahra. This sounds cool, but the problem is that the production cannot afford to do a convincing temple setting, so relies mostly on bad composite shots and worse digital backgrounds. The miniature works were generally good though, with the temple exterior easily being the most triumphant effect. I just wish there was more of a variety to them. Dagahra has a stellar design, but it's somehow even more immobile than Desghidorah and yet lacks its menacing presence. His fight with Mothra Leo is SOOOOO boring, with most of it being one chasing the other while firing laser beams (and it takes forever), or Mothra is incapacitated and Dagahra fires more laser beams at him (and it also takes forever). Mothra Leo gets a new transformation and I didn't care for it, although I appreciate the attempt at trying something new. The comedy is still annoying, but I might've been able to find it funny at a young enough age, so I'm trying not to hold it against the movie too much. The ending finally gets weird enough to be interesting, but by then, I was already struggling to remain awake. "Rebirth of Mothra II" was just a miserable experience for me, albeit one I probably would've enjoyed as a kid.

1/4


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## Subarashii (Apr 28, 2021)

MartialHorror said:


> *Black Sheep (2006)* is a tongue-in-cheek horror comedy about... get this... killer sheep. I wish I could say it's "baaaaaaad" in my best bleating voice, but unfortunately, it's actually pretty good. You might expect this to be one of those CGI laden cheapies, but the acclaimed Weta Workshop worked on the special effects and provided awesome practical monstrosities that pay homage to the werewolf classics of the 1980's. Yes, that means we get... weresheep... There's a lot of great splatter on display, with very little downtime. The pacing is so fast that you never have to wait long for the next kill, but it also doesn't burn itself out prematurely. Every time you think "well, now I've seen everything", the filmmakers prove you wrong. I thought the comedy mostly worked too, but if I have any real complaint, it's that the copy I watched lacked subtitles. "Black Sheep" is a New Zealand production and I sometimes struggled to keep up with their accents. But that's less to do with the movie and more to do with the bad transfer -- and my bad ears. I thought "Black Sheep" was a... blaaaaaaaast?


Holy shirt I remember seeing this movie when it came out  it was quite good


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## MartialHorror (May 3, 2021)

*The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020) *is a strange concoction of horror and black comedy that doesn't resemble the usual hybrid of genres. The story surrounds a stressed out cop who's trying to catch a serial killer, who might be be a werewolf. I'm going to have difficulty describing this one, as it's funny, but unconventionally funny. There weren't many -- if any -- sight gags or quotable lines, but somehow I was always pretty amused. The attack sequences are grisly and devoid of humor, yet I never felt like I was going through any mood whiplash. Then in a bizarre twist, the movie really kind of spoke to me in ways I was not really comfortable with. Jim Cummings plays an asshole lead, but he's going through a lot of shit that I can kind of relate to, so I found myself really rooting for him to overcome his failings. I think part of what makes "The Wolf of Snow Hollow" work is that it's unusually short, yet packs quite a bit of content in its limited running-time. Had this gone the usual 'indy movie' route of two (+) hours, it would've worn out its welcome, but even then I can't guarantee "The Wolf of Snow Hollow" is for you. It's definitely kind of an oddity -- my kind of oddity. 

3.5/4 

*The Barn (2016)* is one of the few throwback's to 1980's horror that genuinely feels like a horror movie from the 1980's. The grainy film quality, the questionable ADR, the seemingly amateurish yet not necessarily bad performances, the synthesizer themed music and of course the practical effects boasted a sense of legitimacy that escapes most throwbacks. I thought this was very charming and fun. It's (deliberately) cheesy, but also kind of spooky and the gore is pretty great. 

3/4 

*Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl (2009)* feels very much like a Noboru Iguchi production, as it's just as gross, juvenile, hyper-active, cheap looking, perverted and... I say this somewhat grudgingly... fairly imaginative and occasionally amusing as his own  works. What brings these two iconic horror lores into combat? They have a crush on the same boy. "Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl" is about as trashy as one would expect. The gore effects are outlandish and cheesy, but they are effectively disgusting. I have to give some credit to the filmmakers for having some unique visual ideas, such as a rib cage being weaponized. The acting is over-the-top and the humor can be a little annoying... and a lot offensive... The whole 'wrist cutter' club was awkward to behold and there is a whole f@cking subplot dedicated to Japanese girls in black face and that's just f@cking 'yikes'. Yukie Kawamura is delightfully charming as the vampire girl though. Much like an actual Noboru Iguchi production, I enjoyed about half of this and grumbled at the other half, but I always have to be in the right mood for these kinds of movies.

2/4 
*
Jacob's Ladder (1990)* is not really a horror as much as it's a psychological thriller, but it certainly boasts its share of horrific imagery. I've never seen this until now, even though everyone always tells me how great it is and how it's my kind of storytelling, so did it meet such lofty expectations? Yeah, with a caveat. "Jacob's Ladder" is one of those movies that's just too influential for its own good, as you'll recognize much of its storytelling devices and imagery in all sorts of media -- movies, TV shows, even video games. This limited some of its impact, but it's still a very powerful flick. It's strange, but never loses itself in its unorthodoxies. Every weird element either has a thematic or plot related purpose. It's kind of artsy, but never to the point of pretentiousness. The movie is ripe with emotion, which the cast lean into without being heavy handed, but it also moves at a pretty solid pace thanks to a compelling mystery. "Jacob's Ladder" was pretty great and I'm glad I finally saw it.

3.5/4 

*Another Heaven (2000)* is a Japanese serial killer thriller with a supernatural twist, surrounding a pair of cops who investigate a series of impossible murders. I love these kinds of Japanese genre flicks, as whether they're good or bad, they usually have a lot of personality. Graphic violence is often accompanied by an eccentric style of humor, which makes most scenes charmingly quirky and yet... it also adds a layer of  unpredictability to the suspense. You just never know where the story will go, as the humor often disarms the audience into complacency before shit gets real. "Another Heaven" is also pretty well made, moving at a brisk pace, boasting enthusiastic performances and showcasing a lot of style. It does get rather talky at points and did not need to go beyond the two hour mark, but it's fun if you like these kinds of movies. You might be perpetually befuddled if you don't. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (May 21, 2021)

Zack Snyder's *Army of the Dead (2021)* was definitely one hell of a produced movie, with epic action set pieces, crazy violence, really good special effects and a creative zombie lore. The cast was really good and... have I talked about the action set pieces yet? I loved the sense of scale and the stylized choreography of the gunplay. The head shots were always satisfying too. Zack Snyder's one indisputable talent is his eye for visuals, so "Army of the Dead" is full of cool shots and moments -- often in slow motion.

Like I said, I enjoyed the cast and found their dynamics and arcs engaging, if a bit 'been there, done that'. The comedy was hit-or-miss though and the social commentary showcased the film at its clumsiest. I don't mind politics in film, but it requires a finesse that "Army of the Dead" lacks. It all seemed like an excuse to cover for some idiotic decisions amongst the characters. The running-time is still unnecessarily bloated, as seems to be the norm for Snyder's movies. Luckily, I was never left confused or bored, just a little unsatisfied by the ending. "Army of the Dead" was still quite a bit of fun if you want some awesome zombie carnage.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (May 22, 2021)

Huey Freeman said:


> Army of the Dead has so many plot holes within the first 30 minutes it’s not even funny
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> ...



Yeah, I agree. It didn't make a lot of sense. It would've been better if 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Hiroyuka Sanada did want the money from the safe, but that one dude had his own agenda about getting the head. 




Oh shit, I had forgotten about the zombie robots. WTF was up with that? I didn't notice until the end, when they're fighting in the casino.

I was a little confused with the 'shamblers' teasing. I was sure it was setting up a scene where it rained...

Hmmmmm.... maybe I was too nice.


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## Huey Freeman (May 22, 2021)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah, I agree. It didn't make a lot of sense. It would've been better if
> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> ...


 Zac hinted in an interview that maybe they are alien tech or maybe created by government to keep track of the alphas


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## MartialHorror (May 22, 2021)

Huey Freeman said:


> Zac hinted in an interview that maybe they are alien tech or maybe created by government to keep track of the alphas



Still, that kind of stuff is just distracting.

A better way of doing that would be to maybe show that as a stinger, if you go the 'hint' route. 

Snyder, for all of his strengths, often seems more interesting in planting ideas for sequels than telling the story at hand, lol.


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## Huey Freeman (May 22, 2021)

MartialHorror said:


> Still, that kind of stuff is just distracting.
> 
> A better way of doing that would be to maybe show that as a stinger, if you go the 'hint' route.
> 
> Snyder, for all of his strengths, often seems more interesting in planting ideas for sequels than telling the story at hand, lol.


Well from what I understand he has already made a prequel and there’s a sequel that would explain all of it. There’s was even a UFO at the beginning of the movie too.
The story itself was trash, the side story literally went no where and girl rescue mission was in vain. 
The more I think about it the more it upsets me because the plot holes and bad writing just was way to obvious.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 5, 2021)

*The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)* was a little too mediocre and ordinary for my tastes, although it's still worth watching if you're a fan of the franchise. This is another one based on a "True" story, where a man killed someone and claimed in court that he was possessed by the devil. I'm personally a little uncomfortable with using real life murders for supernatural tales, especially as this sequel explicitly shows that the dude was indeed possessed. It's just a little tasteless to me. I was expecting there to be a lot more court room battles based on the trailer, but instead it's just more of the usual routine. I really have grown tired of this specific formula. All of the scares seem to rely on everything going really... quiet... AND THEN LOUD NOISES. I've gotten too used to the franchise's methods, it seems. The story adds a few potentially interesting touches, like the villain being a Satanist instead of a demonic entity, but is it really that different when said Satanist shows identical supernatural powers? For what it's worth, nothing here is handled incompetently... It's just a lot of 'been there, done that', with very little to balance it out. "The Nun" was an inferior movie with much worse writing, but at least it had gore and the period setting was different. Nevertheless, I still find Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga to be very endearing and... well... at least it's not as boring as "Annabelle".

But I'm sooo f@cking done with "tributes" to "The Exorcist". Every f@cking possession movie has to have one. 

2/4


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## reiatsuflow (Jun 14, 2021)

Just saw the trailer for that edgar wright last day in soho, and I had no idea he was going for a sort of suspiria argento vibe. Hopefully it'll be a good one. I like wright but I don't love wright.


I haven't been following the production, I just knew it had wright, matt smith and anya taylor joy and here it turns out they're the supporting cast. I thought it was going to be an eerie historical drama too but it looks more like some giallo movie.

For some reason it also reminds me of Perfect Blue.

...I know this is a thread for reviews but I don't want to make my own thread and this is fine

Reactions: Agree 1


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## MartialHorror (Jun 14, 2021)

Yeah the movie looks good. It definitely has my attention.

*Monster Hunter (2020) *was surprisingly boring for a Paul W.S Anderson movie where Milla Jovovich and Tony Jaa fight giant monsters... with big f@cking swords too... I think a lot of people will automatically blame the weak story and characters, but I think the real problem is that "Monster Hunter" is awkwardly proportioned. It spends too much time in the beginning on characters and setting up dynamics that amount to nothing because most of them won't survive beyond the third act, when that time would've been better served setting up the fire forged bond between Artemis (Jovovich) and the Hunter (Jaa)... or at least give us enough characterization to where their overly drawn out (and choppily edited) fight makes some sense. But even though I gradually warmed up to them, their dynamic falls apart once new characters are introduced -- shortly before the finale. "Monster Hunter" also was a little too action packed during its first 30 minutes or so, making the subsequent attempts at world building feel much slower than it probably was. The narrative moves too fast when it needed to pace itself... and then is sluggish when it needed to be brisk. The acting and dialogue are sometimes pretty bad, although it's not like we watch this kind of crap for such things. 

But is the monster action at least fun? It is... in parts... The designs of the creatures were pretty interesting and the CGI was usually good -- although it's terrible when it's not. The editing is a little too tight and the camerawork was too shaky for my tastes, but Paul W.S Anderson has an eye for cool visuals, so "Monster Hunter" certainly has its moments. Nevertheless, it also runs out of gas well before reaching the finish line, so I can't say I really enjoyed myself.  

1.5/4 

*Forbidden World (1982) *is a trashy "Alien" rip-off, produced by Roger Corman -- because of course he would. As far as trashy "Alien" rip-off's go, this isn't my favorite. I favor "Creature", "Contamination" and "Galaxy of Terror", along with those deep sea variations like "Leviathan", but that's not to say "Forbidden World" isn't a worthy addition to the line-up. The budget is low enough that the director claims practically everything about it was recycled from other productions; including the occasional use of stock footage from "Galaxy of Terror" and "Battle from Beyond the Stars". Nevertheless, it's not... CGI... so this is much more my kind of cheap nonsense. The gore is nasty and the monster sometimes even looks pretty cool. The acting is serviceable, the women are often naked and the score was better than the movie itself. The short running-time also keeps the badness from contaminating my fun, which is good because these characters are so unbelievably stupid. "Forbidden World" is definitely schlock, but it's... well... definitely shlock, lol.

2/4 

*The Rental (2020)* is a thriller directed by... Dave Franco, of all people... and it's surprisingly good! I won't describe the story too much, as I think it's more effective knowing little to nothing about it going in. Two couples go to a vacation home in order to detox, but... bad things happen... I was really impressed with this. I was constantly in a state of unease and I was eager to learn what was actually going on. The cast somehow manages to be sympathetic enough, even though their characters are not the best of people. I did think the ending was somewhat unsatisfying, as it just seemed like most of the movie was methodically paced... and then everything seemed to happen really fast. To be fair, I suspect drawing it out would've made "The Rental" a little too reminiscent of other horror thrillers, so maybe it was for the best that it held onto its own identity by focusing less on action and violence and more on the feeling... that something is really wrong here...

3.5/4 

*Happy Birthday To Me (1981)* is a pretty solid slasher flick, if one that runs a little bit too long for its own good. The kills are surprisingly brutal, albeit in a fun "Oh shit!" kind of way. There's nothing elaborate about the effects work, but they're brilliantly edited and showcase a diabolical imagination -- especially for the time. The story isn't worth much, as if they ever are. A teenage girl who experienced a traumatic accident on her previous birthday attempts to remember what happened as her next birthday creeps forward... and then her friends start being killed off... I swear I've seen that exact same finale in another movie relatively recently ("Madhouse"? "Mortuary"?), although based on this coming out relatively early in the slasher boom, I'd assume whatever that was ripped this off. The characters are pretty unlikable. It's almost hilarious how desperate the red herrings come across, with seemingly every male in this girls life flashing ominous or sinister stares. The funny thing is... I did not see the identity of the killer coming. That twist made no sense, but hey, it was a genuine surprise. The final shot was also pretty haunting. If you don't like slashers, this is not for you though. 

2.5/4 

*Black House (2007) *is a pretty engaging South Korean thriller that gradually descends into horror. This would make a great back-to-back viewing with "Creepy", as they sort of share some similar story beats and are paced in a similar, methodical way. An insurance agent is convinced that a suicide was actually a murder, so does his own investigating when the cops shrug him off. The cast is good, whether it's our sympathetic hero or unsettling villain. There's good tension and a few genuinely shocking moments of violence. The story was also told in a compelling way, even if the final reveal is a little obvious. There are a few flaws. "Black House" doesn't seem to know when to end, even adding an additional finale upon its previous and more effective finale. It really felt like it was forced in there because the filmmakers realized that their hero had unresolved baggage. I also thought that the subplot with the girlfriend was somewhat poorly handled. I enjoyed their chemistry, but there reaches a point where a rift forms between them and it just came out of nowhere and I wasn't entirely sure why she was so furious at him. She outright says it, but most of what she's describing was off-screen. Nevertheless, "Black House" was pretty intense and boasted a few bone chilling moments.

3/4


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## reiatsuflow (Jun 15, 2021)

Is the blackcoat's daughter as good as its word?

I haven't gotten around to watching it but the reputation's good.


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## MartialHorror (Jun 15, 2021)

reiatsuflow said:


> Is the blackcoat's daughter as good as its word?
> 
> I haven't gotten around to watching it but the reputation's good.



It didn't do much for me. I know I reviewed it somewhere around here. I remember thinking it had its moments and was well made, but overall I thought it was unsatisfying.

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Jun 23, 2021)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORCER* -- "_The Ring/Sadako: Part 2 (2012-2019)_"

"Ringu" and its Hollywood remake, "The Ring", were both so successful that the entire genre changed in their image. Not just one, but two brands were born under the same franchise, one in the East and the other in the west. Unfortunately, both series of films became kind of shitty and lost so much of their mass appeal that even their originals have somewhat faded from memory. What exactly can ruin an entire brand, when other franchises have endured worse movies? We discuss this and more in this review series, which includes --

--  "Sadako 3D (2012)"
-- "Sadako 3D 2 (2013)"
-- "Sadako Vs Kayako (2016)"
-- "Rings (2017)"
-- "Sadako (2019)"


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## MartialHorror (Jul 7, 2021)

*Willy's Wonderland (2021) *has all the ingredients to be an awesome horror flick, being sort of a take on "Five Nights at Freddy's". Nicolas Cage plays a mysterious stranger who's roped into an overnight shift at the titular 'Willy's Wonderland', where the animatronic robots come to life to terrorize him. I like the set-up and the animatronics themselves have creepy designs. They look like old, decrepit artifacts from a real "Chuckie Cheese"-esque restaurant and they definitely are uncanny to behold. Cage's character is... mute... and a complete enigma, but while he's interesting at first... he can't sustain the movie. The moment he's first attacked, he doesn't even seem phased that the robots are coming to life. This was obviously a deliberate, creative choice... but if he doesn't seem worried... then how are we supposed to feel any of the tension? This could be fine if we felt more gratification watching him kick their asses, but the action is too choppily edited and the gore was lacking.

Everything gets worse when a bunch of teenagers get involved. Unlike the stranger, they do show fear and have an emotional investment in both each-other and in destroying Willy's Wonderland, so theoretically this should be better... except they are so absurdly stupid that I found myself wanting to see them brutally murdered -- except the kills are 'eh' so there wasn't any gratification there either. I mean, seriously... imagine the most idiotic thing a character can do in a horror movie and it won't be as idiotic as what these dumbfucks will do. "Willy's Wonderland" has its moments, but as a whole, it runs out of steam about 45 minutes into it. I did grow a little bored.

2/4

*Mikadroid: Robokill Beneath Disco Club Layla (1991)* is a low budgeted thriller about an android killing people in a garage underneath a disco club... The movie definitely is trying to blur the lines between trash and art, with experimental flourishes being used to balance out the cheap gore effects and gratuitous nudity, but whatever merits or failings it might have are upstaged by the ludicrous robot design. I was often reminded of a sentai, which I guess this kind of is, as there are even some miniature works at the end. But you'll have a suspenseful build-up, with an ominous gust of word and gaping darkness... only for a power rangers reject to emerge and apparently we are not supposed to laugh. The movie isn't trashy or artsy enough to work entirely on any level. I will give "Mikadroid" credit though, it's relatively short with very little fat. There's hardly any character development or plot, just a killer robot chasing people. I always appreciate the kinds of movies that have to make a lot out of very little, so I did find myself appreciating "Mikadroid".

2.5/4

I could've sworn that I had not only seen *Ghoulies (1984)*, but had grown up with it, as I went through a phase in my childhood where I was obsessed with those nasty critters. Yet even though I recognized the ghoulies themselves, I didn't recognize any of "Ghoulies". Looking through the description of "Ghoulies 3", I don't think I saw that one either and... oh wow, I wasn't even aware that there was a fourth one. So it turns out that "Ghoulies II" was my one experience with the franchise... and I must've experienced it a lot.

Or maybe I did see "Ghoulies" and it was just so boring that my brain excreted it out the memory banks.

Okay, okay... To be fair, "Ghoulies" wasn't too terrible. John Carl Buechler did the effects and what I've always loved about his work is that even when they're not always convincing, they're always interesting. The designs of the ghoulies are pretty memorable and disgusting -- albeit in a fun, almost childish kind of way. The puppetry used to bring them to life was at least decent, although there is one hilarious scene where you can clearly see the puppeteer.

Unfortunately, "Ghoulies" is pretty boring as a whole. The story is messy and filled with annoying characters who are such broad stereotypes that they almost border on parody. Now, the movie is obviously intended to be a little silly, but most of the screen-time is dedicated between the domestic woes of the two leads -- and that drama was played mostly straight. I was struggling fighting sleep until the finale goes the slasher route, except then the kills were mostly bloodless and off-screen... so I ended up fighting sleep anyway. I probably should've just succumbed.

1.5/4

*Resident Evil: Damnation (2012) *is a CG animated entry in the popular video game franchise, being based in the continuity of the video games and not the films. It is a sequel to "Resident Evil: Degeneration", which I thought was pretty average and this... I thought it was even more average, although I've never played too much of the video games. The story somehow feels both underdeveloped and yet overcooked, while the dialogue... Christ, it was so bad... I didn't like Leon's one-liners at all and he's not even the most annoying character. There are some cool visuals, but this kind of CG animation does not age well. The face models always have that uncanny valley effect, although when the focus is on the action, it holds up much better. I hear that fans of the game series are much more appreciated of "Damnation", but it felt like an hour and forty minute long cut scene to me.

2/4

*Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975)* isn't as sleazy as the title suggests... although it's still pretty damn sleazy... For what it's worth though, no one is forced to strip nude for any killers, with the title presumably referring to the opening scene where a nude girl dies during a botched abortion. Literally -- the first shot is of a doctor right between her legs. This is that kind of giallo. There is a lot of nudity and some pretty gruesome violence, although I found it strange how the camera always seemed rather shy around it. You see some nasty stuff, but it's always at an odd angle or obscured by lighting. I'm not really complaining, it was just an odd creative choice as it neither censored the kills, nor did it add any real artistic flourish to them. The kills just never seemed to be in focus, as violent as they were. This isn't as stylish as the better gialli are, but it moves at a fast pace. The characters are even slimier than usual and this sometimes translates to them behaving like morons, but... I am still in love with Edwige Fenech. Overall, I kind of feel like if "Strip Nude for Your Killer"... was not called "Strip Nude for Your Killer", it would've fallen into obscurity. It is somewhat unusually tasteless (did it seriously end on a joke about forced sodomy???) , but the quality is more middling than anything else. 

Then again, the movie does gift us the image of an obese man man walking around in his underwear, clutching a sex doll in one hand and a knife in another... So there's that...

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 10, 2021)

*Freaky (2020)* is sort of a horror spin of "Freaky Friday"... or that shitty Rob Schneider movie ("Hot Chick", I think?)... where a serial killer (Vince Vaughn) and his would-be teenaged victim (Kathryn Newton) switch bodies. Mayhem ensues. I thought the first act was great, as the kills were hardcore -- being surprisingly imaginative in how gruesome they were -- and the humor was on point. Unfortunately, it sort of front loads all of its best content and the rest of the movie feels like it's coasting a bit. It's still amusing and entertaining, but it never reaches those heights. The cast is really good, but I really struggled with buying Kathryn Newton's character as the victim of bullying. She's too good looking for the "haha, you're ugly" jokes. Nevertheless, she is both sexy and scary when playing the serial killer. Vince Vaughn provides some good belly laughs pretending to be a high school girl, although at times it feels like he's no longer playing Newton's character. Nevertheless, "Freaky" does get away with its debatable shortcomings by being fast paced and easily digestible. The first scene alone makes it worth watching, if you're into slashers.

3/4  

*Kingdom: Ashin of the North (2021)* is a prequel to the incredible South Korean TV series, "Kingdom", which was a hybrid of zombie horror, martial arts action and political intrigue -- set during the Joseon dynasty. I loved "Kingdom" and consider it to be a contender for my favorite TV series of all time, but "Ashin of the North" is just... good... It really does contain a lot of what makes "Kingdom" so memorable. The zombie mayhem was thrilling and creepy, the martial arts was stylishly choreographed and the intrigue was full of twist and turns, but "Ashin of the North" doesn't quite pull off the balancing act as well. There is quite a lull where I almost started to forget about the zombies and another lull where I almost started to forget about the intrigue. Nevertheless, "Ashin of the North" is still effective in all of its parts, even if it's not quite as successful as a cohesive whole.

Also -- am I the only one who saw a missed opportunity by not calling the special "Kingdom of Ashin"? Like "Kingdom of Ashes" ("Game of Thrones" reference), except with Ashin? Eh? Eh!? 

3/4 

*Voices (2007)* is a South Korean horror-thriller about a schoolgirl whose friends and family start attacking her for seemingly no reason, other than possibly being tied to a generational curse. This was pretty good, as much (but not too much) time is spent on making the characters likable. Their interactions are very warm and charming, so it's more gut wrenching when they start turning on each-other. I don't know if "Voices" is ever really scary, but it is quite tense and thrilling. On the other hand though, I did feel like it started to get repetitive after awhile. I was completely invested in our heroine's attempt to figure out the curse... but then she just gives up and returns home, so the same stuff that has been happening will continue to happen. Nevertheless, the short running time and brisk pace do help keep things from growing too stale.

3/4 

I keep flip flopping back and forth on *Rodan (1956)*... who yes, had his own standalone Kaiju flick prior to becoming part of Godzilla's supporting cast. I thought it was thrilling as a kid, boring as a teenager and... I guess I think it's pretty good as an adult. "Rodan" actually begins as a horror film about miners being preyed upon by some mysterious menace deep within the mines. There is some good suspense, but the big reveal -- a giant insect called Meganuron -- is more silly than scary. Eventually it turns out that the Meganuron is just a snack for the much larger Rodan, who flies around and terrorizes Japan in all its kaiju glory. While I thought the Meganuron suit had aged poorly, the miniature works during Rodan's rampages hold up pretty well. Rodan's flying ability allowed for the special effects team to showcase some new techniques for the time period, even if we've seen it all done plenty of times since then. Nevertheless, I still appreciated the scope of the visuals, especially when TWO Rodan's end up causing havoc. Rodan's design here happens to be my personal favorite amongst his Showa Era incarnations. Admittedly, I only feel this way towards the aesthetic, as his subsequent appearances would give the monster more of a personality. "Rodan" isn't the best kaiju flick, but it's certainly a good one.

3/4 

*Rats: Night of Terror (1984)* was directed by Bruno Mattei, so you know it's going to be either horrendous or horrendously awesome and I'm happy to say that this leans on the latter. Set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, a gang of bikers scavenging for food find themselves stranded in a ghost town with... killer rats! It is quite amusing how convoluted the concept is, because the low budget means they can't really do anything with the futuristic setting other than providing the cast fun costumes. As expected from a low budgeted Italian horror flick from Bruno Mattei, the plot is absurd and nonsensical, the characters are noisy and their decision making skills are nonsensical, the dialogue is awful and nonsensical and the performances are wooden and badly dubbed -- and also nonsensical. 

But do you know what? The movie is golden schlock. They make the most of their limited funds and showcase... better than expected production values... there were definitely a lot of rats (that were clearly mistreated) and the gore was pretty hardcore. The practical effects were decent. The sleaze was satisfactory for the genre and the action was pretty unrelenting. But it was the f@cking ending that made "Rats: Night of Terror" so memorable. That last shot had me laughing my ass off so hard that I chose to bump it up half a star. Legend!

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 23, 2021)

*A Classic Horror Story (2021)* is an Italian Horror flick where a handful of hapless carpoolers find themselves stranded in the woods -- with someone or something hunting them. I was actually really enjoying this... for awhile... The characters are flawed, but humanized enough to where I found myself not wanting to see them die. The cinematography and set design are both flashy and spooky, an odd combination that should be stylistically at odds with each-other, but instead gives the film a cool and distinct aesthetic. I really felt the bite of the suspense, with those sirens immediately putting me on edge and the "creatures" looking incredibly menacing. A lot of people will complain that "A Classic Horror Story" is very derivative, but... that's kind of the point? Just look at the title. It's a celebration of what has been done before.

But then that twist happened...

Ugh, the last forty minutes completely lost me. It's one of those big reveals where the filmmakers think they're being more clever than they really are. I can't really elaborate without spoiling, but the deeper the story delved into the "twist", the more annoyed I became. Nevertheless, the first half was so effective that it alone warranted enduring the increasingly frustrating second. Plus... part of me is just really happy to get a new Italian horror movie.

3/4

*Night of the Creeps (1986) *is a charming homage to the B-movies of old, with alien parasites taking over human brains, turning them into zombies and our only hope are... teenagers... I loved the practical effects, which are gruesome but in a fun -- not mean spirited -- kind of way. The characters are likable and their dialogue is surprisingly funny, although "Night of the Creeps" also offers plenty of thrills too. "Night of the Creeps" is that definitive cult classic kind of movie that embodies everything good about the 1980's.

3.5/4 

*Sauna (2008)* is a Finnish horror flick, set during the 1500's. The war between Russia and Sweden has ended, with a joint expedition being assigned to formally map out the countries' borders. The troubled journey ends at a mysterious village, where... evil things are happening... I thought "Sauna" was at its best when it was being more of a psychological thriller, surrounding the characters facing their inner demons. I thought their journeys -- whether through redemption or damnation -- were compelling and each of them were surprisingly well written. The cinematography is moody and the sets are ominous. But when it embraced its horror influences, it just lost some of its power. The gruesome imagery was more silly than scary and the jumps just kind of deflated the atmosphere. The ending is very typical for a horror movie of the time period and it's neither better or worse than most, but it also undoes a lot of the thematical material so... I didn't like that... Nevertheless, "Sauna" was still pretty good, even if I found myself wishing it leaned into its more subtle
side.

3/4  

*C.H.U.D. (1984)* is another 1980's cult classic, this time surrounding subterranean mutant cannibals. I'm still not sure whether the creatures were supposed to be silly or creepy... maybe a bit of both... but I was surprised how intense and suspenseful this could be. A large part of why it works is the cast, who do an excellent job selling the material... making their characters more interesting and endearing than they probably were on paper... But the filmmakers make excellent use of both the underground labyrinths and the scummy side of New York. You really feel like danger lurks around the corner and yet "CHUD" is so briskly paced that even if you don't find it scary, I think there's a good chance you'll find it fun. I did.

3.5/4

Takashi Shimizu's *Reincarnation (2005)* is a pretty middling J-horror flick, about strange happenings which occur on a film production. There's a bit twist that lead me to the conclusion that "Reincarnation" had a very compelling story to tell, but it ended up telling it in a convoluted and somewhat dull way. There are a few creepy moments though and the lead actress conveys fear very convincingly.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 4, 2021)

*A Quiet Place Part II (2021)* is a worthy successor to its shockingly successful predecessor, wielding similar strengths (and weaknesses). Once again, the suspense is driven through the absence of sound, with so many little things being designed to make you cringe because you just know noise will be made -- and the aliens will be drawn to it. I personally feel like the first "A Quiet Place" was somewhat overrated, but the concept of a horror movie where the characters can't even scream without imperiling themselves is a brilliant one. The cast is in fine form once again, with Cillian Murphy's character being a great addition to the story. You sympathize with him, but are also concerned that he can't be trusted... and he even fits a surprisingly effective character arc in there. On the "weakness" side of things, the characters are still prone to making bafflingly stupid decisions at times, an issue I had with the first one too. I still find the aliens themselves to be kind of lacking. They can still provide the terror thanks to the aforementioned "sound" gimmick, but the CGI never entirely convinced me that they were real. I also find the designs to be somewhat standard, but this does appear to be more of a "me" problem, as few people seem to agree.

This sequel is much more action packed than the original, with one bad-ass intro set during the initial stages of the invasion and more  meat shields *ahem* characters to... well... die... Nevertheless, I'd say "A Quiet Place Part II" is still a suspense driven horror flick, albeit one that's faster paced. I do think the first film had more memorable "Holy shit!" moments. You just can't top a woman having to give birth and being unable to make noise, but "A Quiet Place II" is still a good one, being comparable to the first.

3/4  

*Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (2013) *is a comedy-horror, giving a modern... stoner... spin on the iconic Hansel and Gretel story. The movie isn't as bad as one would expect. The cast is pretty good, with Lara Flynn Boyle being entertaining as the drug peddling witch and everyone else shows their comedic chops without descending into farce. The effects for the gore were also really well done, but the problem with "Hansel & Gretel Get Baked" is that it can't settle on the tone. The violence is sometimes too disturbing for such a silly film, while it's too silly to actually be disturbing. I'm not sure what they were going for, but the final product was... watchable, if nothing else.

2/4  

*The Haunted Palace (1963)* was marketed as an adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Haunted Palace', being another entry in the series of collaborations between Roger Corman and Vincent Price under the AIP banner, but it's actually an adaptation of H.P Lovecraft's "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward". Apparently Corman wanted to adapt Lovecraft, but AIP thought Poe was more marketable, so they added a Poe quote in post-production and changed the title. I will say this, "The Haunted Palace" has an similar aesthetic to the actual Poe adaptations, so the stretch wasn't too jarring for me. The decaying houses, the cobblestone streets, the eerie fog, the dilapidated cemeteries and the gothic architecture of the titular palace all feel like they could've easily been part of the Corman-Price Poe cycle and yet lend themselves well to the Lovecraftian lore. AIP appears to have beefed up the production values on this one too, as there is more of a variety to the settings. 

 Joseph Curwen (Vincent Price) was a vile necromancer who carries out his experiments on the poor people of Arkham from his palace, only to find himself lynched and burned to death for his troubles. Over 100 years later and his descendant, Charles Dexter Ward (Vincent Price again), comes to inherent his palace... and possibly his ancestors evil. Vincent Price is incredible in his dual roles, commanding the screen with his wit and presence as he always could. The cast in general is excellent, but special mention goes to Lon Chaney Jr., who somehow was both menacing and... disarmingly sweet? His characterization is unusual, as his archetype (the creepy caretaker) is usually supposed to be sinister... and he is... but he could also convey warmth when he wanted to, making the character more unpredictable than the norm -- and that's a great way of adding suspense.  "The Haunted Palace" is just a really good, spooky film that fires on all cylinders. It's definitely one of the stronger Corman-Price collaborations, which says something as they're all pretty damn good. 

3.5/4 

*Horrors of Malformed Men (1969)* is a f@cking weird Japanese horror film that is very much an acquired taste. The plot summaries are usually somewhat misleading, as they state that the man travels to a mysterious island to search for his Father, only to discover that the place is inhabited by... malformed men... This is technically an accurate description, but this side of the story doesn't start until after the half way point. Most of the movie surrounds an institutionalized medical student (Teruo Yoshida), who escapes the asylum and assumes the identity of a recently deceased man who looks identical to him. The plot is really about whether he can keep up the charade, before his obsession with the island leads him to seek the dead man's Father. "Horrors of Malformed Men" is very surrealistic, with lots of strange, disturbing and provocative imagery driving much of the narrative. It is definitely beautifully shot and the direction is flashy in how experimental it is. If you like arthouse horror, you might want to consider watching this, as it's everything you'd expect from it... warts and all, like the slow pacing and sometimes incomprehensible storytelling... 

I personally thought "Horrors of Malformed Men" was pretty good, even though I usually don't care for this kind of filmmaking, but the ending just lost me. Characters behave in ways that seem at odds with how they were written, including a desperate plea for the audience to sympathize with a character who DOES NOT F@CKING DESERVE IT. The final shots were supposed to be disturbing... I think... but they were more comical than anything else. But hey, good or bad, "Horrors of Malformed Men" definitely stands out.

2.5/4

*Ninja III: The Domination (1984)* is a bizarre mishmash of the 1980's Ninja craze, "Flash Dance" and... "The Exorcist"??? This is the 3rd entry in the 'Ninja' trilogy, which also included "Enter the Ninja" and "Revenge of the Ninja", although none of the stories are actually connected. "Ninja III" is pretty bad, but it's also very entertaining. An evil ninja carries out an assassination and slaughters a bunch of cops, even taking down a helicopter in the process, but he's eventually killed. His spirit possesses an aerobics teacher (Lucinda Dickey), to avenge his very much deserved death. However, a good ninja (Sho Kosugi) vows to stop him. The plot makes no sense, the acting is wildly uneven and the dialogue is almost surreal at times, but at least the cast delivers it with conviction. Lucinda Dickey might not be convincing as a ninja, but she is charismatic and sexy. The action might not boast the best choreography, but there's a lot of it and plenty of bonkers set pieces to keep you perpetually wide eyed (and there are some good stunts too). There are a lot of special effects and they're very... 1980's... But everything is sort of upstaged by the strangeness of it all. Those flash dance scenes serve no purpose other than to show off Dickey's legit dancing skills (and her body) and it's a f@cking "Exorcism" movie wrapped in a ninja flick. How f@cking bizarre is that!?

On a slightly more personal note, my Uncle actually worked on the production. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 4, 2021)

*Malignant (2021)* is sort of the quintessential "polarizing" horror experience, as every creative decision will either stand out as genius or terrible, with the lines often being blurred. I'm not really sure how to categorize it, as it's technically a cross between a giallo throwback, a paranormal chiller, a 1980's slasher, a psychological horror, body horror... video game inspired actioner... and possibly comedy? The gore is pretty damn hardcore and I loved the giallo stylistic touches, but sometimes the acting and dialogue were so wooden and awkward that... I wonder if it was supposed to be... The tone is all over the place, but I do think a lot of the camp was intentional, for better or worse. Nevertheless, I still spent a lot of the movie snarking at all the plot induced stupidity of the characters and the general stupidity of the plot... I sometimes had fun with it, but other times I found the writing to be frustrating.

The story gets progressively crazier, revealing a killer who is either terrifying or hilarious or once again, maybe a bit of both. I will champion the design of the killer, as I found his/her appearance to be both memorable and scary, his/her weapon of choice to be awesome, his/her personality to be a neat contrast to the usual silent murderer and his/her jerky movements to be creepy in how uncanny they are. But the special effects can't always keep up with it (some REALLY dodgy CGI at times) and even if I found the killer to be effective, I can definitely see how people would struggle taking him/her seriously. I think everyone has oversold the big twist, with many comparing it to an M. Night Shyamalan effort -- both the good M. Night and the bad M. Night. But do you know what? While it certainly lead to some bonkers set pieces, I didn't really think the twist was that big of a deal. I wasn't blown away by it like the fans were, but I didn't find it absurdly stupid like the detractors did. I saw it coming, although I didn't expect how far they would go with it. So is "Malignant" good or bad? Honestly, I think it's somewhere between "OK" and "fun", but it all comes down to how you respond to its zaniness. I liked it.

3/4

*Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)* is a sequel, a spin-off and a sort of re-invention of the infamous "Saw" series, surrounding a Detective Zeke's (Chris Rock) attempt to catch a new Jigsaw killer, who's targeting crooked cops. A cynical person could say that "Saw" has gone 'woke', while a generous person could say that it's socially relevant, but to be honest? I don't know if I'd call it either, as this story has been told so many times before -- and not even in the "Saw" franchise -- that I'd happily argue that there was no message at all beyond a basic 'police brutality is bad'... although even that message is muddled with the fact that you aren't sure whether you're suppose to empathize with the killer or his (cop) victims. I'd argue that "Saw VI" was the real political entry of the franchise and delivered its message with more conviction, even though "Spiral" should have had the advantage with its subject matter.

This isn't to say that "Spiral" is bad... It's just not as good as it wants to be. It's attempting to be an intelligent thriller, but every time it offers an interesting idea, the characters will do something so unbelievably stupid that it takes the audience out of it. The filmmakers strive for white knuckled tension, but the movie struggles building momentum because it wastes time with storythreads that go nowhere, such as Zeke's estrangement with his family. Why show a scene with his ex when there's no pay-off, as she never returns, nor is his troubled home life a part of his arc. Even the more compelling angle with his Father (Samuel Jackson) is strangely underdeveloped. Finally -- I respect Chris Rock for his efforts, but even though he's alright at times, I really couldn't take him seriously. His last scene was supposed to be dramatic, but I thought it was hilarious. Nevertheless, I did think he struck up decent chemistry with varying members of the supporting cast, so sometimes I was genuinely invested in what was going on thanks to him.

Now I will admit... I thought the traps were pretty cool. They weren't as over-the-top as what the franchise had become accustomed too, but they were pretty imaginative and brutal. I did like the attempt at creating a new Jigsaw lore, but it was sort of deflated by everyone constantly calling the killer a Jigsaw copycat. They should've found a new name (like Spiral?) or simply referred to him as the new Jigsaw. The new puppet was pretty creepy, but the new voice was... not... Once again, I admire the attempt at trying something new, but I found myself just wishing they went for Tobin Bell's iconic voice. I also predicted who the killer was pretty quickly, although that didn't necessarily take away from anything else. "Spiral" is strange because it's so routine, but it occasionally has flashes of inspiration that only sometimes works. It does admittedly stand out from the rest of the franchise, yet in the end, the other sequels at least knew what they were and they rarely attempted to reach beyond their grasp. "Spiral" reaches a little farther. It just isn't able to grasp anything substantial -- beyond the occasional cool kill. 

2/4

*Dream Home (2010)* is a slasher from Hong Kong, about a woman (Josie Ho) so desperate to buy a specific flat that she's willing to kill for it. This movie was f@cked up, boasting some of the most extreme kills that the genre has ever seen! The effects were  so convincing that... I think "Dream Home" ended up being more disturbing than it was supposed to be. The kills are usually outrageous, but every time you start to adjust to the tone, it will abruptly become very dark and depressing. Hong Kong has always been a bit... unpredictable... when it comes to establishing and sticking with a tone, so this didn't bother me too much. I did think the constant jumping in time made the narrative more convoluted than it needed to be. I understand why they did it, as it allowed the kills to be more spread out, but it was certainly disorienting. We straight up see our heroine murdering a pregnant woman in cold blood early on, but then flash back to her sad childhood where... her family was evicted from their home... It's REALLY hard to sympathize with her, when we've just seen her murder a f@cking pregnant woman. Nevertheless, "Dream Home" is defined by its abundance of shocking moments, which is arguably the whole point of a good slasher.

3/4 

*Intruder (1989) *is a surprisingly bad-ass slasher, even if it was saddled with about the blandest of titles. The setting is a Grocery store, where a night crew is stalked by a killer. The kills are exceptionally gruesome, with the 'meat slicer' demise easily being the nastiest. I also really appreciated how lean "Intruder" was. The movie spends just enough time with the characters to establish a rapport, but quickly gets to the bloody action and spaces out the kills to keep the pace moving. Now does "Intruder" have much else going for it? Not really. The characters sometimes do stupid things and the "story" goes through the motions of the usual slasher. There is a big "twist" that's kind of obvious and the killer doesn't make a lot of sense. He/She randomly leaves body parts strewn around the place for no discernable reason and depending on when the plot calls for it, has seemingly super human strength. You know, the usual slasher shit. But for those who enjoy a good slasher, "Intruder" is definitely a good one.

With that said, I do have to leave a few additional warnings. The poster really promotes the involvement of Bruce Campbell, Sam Raimi and Ted Raimi, but they primarily served as producers -- while appearing in brief roles. There are also apparently a few cuts out there that remove most of the gore, which would sort of negate any reason to watch this. So if you see "Intruder", don't be lured by its deceptive marketing and only watch the director's cut.

3/4 

*The Cottage (2008)* is a British horror-comedy about a  pair of brothers (played by Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith) who abduct a woman (Jennifer Ellison) to collect a random from her crime boss Father, only to find out that they are NOT the villains of the story. I don't want to say anymore, as the story relies on a shocking reveal that might lessen the experience if you know too much about it going on. It begins as a darkly comedic crime thriller, where the ransom seemingly goes wrong at every turn. "The Cottage" only really becomes a horror movie during its last 40 minutes, sporting some really gruesome kills, but the shift in genres will potentially turn off those who were engaged in what had proceeded the splatter. I personally enjoyed "The Cottage" in all of its genres. I thought it had a good balance of humor and suspense, with the gore boasting some really cool practical effects. It's a lot of fun.

3/4

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Oct 15, 2021)

*Halloween Kills (2021)* is an entertaining slasher, probably being a disappointment to those who were hoping for something cut from the same cloth as "Halloween (2018)", but perfectly satisfactory for those expecting something more along the lines of the original "Halloween 2". The kills are gory as f@ck, with not only showcasing some of the franchise's most gruesome effects work, but the cast doing a really good job at selling their pain and terror. I actually really did like how the deaths carried a weight to them, whether its the characters mourning the casualties of the previous film, or the little bits of history and chemistry between his newest victims. It really did make me feel bad, while also allowing for at least some suspense, even though the violence is certainly more of a priority than being creepy or suspenseful. 

But seriously... these characters are f@cking stupid.

I might've liked them, but it's almost as if they all had some sort of mass death wish, as they couldn't have made it easier for Michael if they tried. From a narrative standpoint, there is probably too much going on. A lot of faces from "Halloween" past make returns, some having bigger roles than others. Laurie Strode doesn't really have much to do and in fact... has even less to do than she did in "Halloween 2", with the trailers pretty much showing all of her footage. I don't know if there was really a main character, unless it's Michael himself. It was an odd creative choice, but while this keeps "Halloween Kills" from really being a good movie, it does allow it to be a really good slasher -- if that is your kind of thing. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 21, 2021)

*COMPULSIVE FRANCHISE DISORDER* -- ""

"Ju-on", nor its Hollywood counterpart "The Grudge", ever soared quite as highly as "Ringu" or its own Hollywood counterpart, but both were still very popular and were arguably just as important in shaping the J-horror trend. But then they started to suck. What happened? We discuss this and more in this review series, which includes --

-- "Ju-on: Black Ghost (2009)"
-- "Ju-on: White Ghost (2009)"
-- "Ju-on: The Beginning of the End (2014)"
-- "Ju-on: The Final Curse (2015)"
-- "Sadako Vs Kayako (2016)"
-- "The Grudge (2020)".

We also discuss "Ju-on: Origins", the netflix mini-series.


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## MartialHorror (Oct 27, 2021)

*Sea Fever (2019)* is an Irish maritime chiller that has been described as a cross between "Alien", "The Thing" and "Cabin Fever", where a fishing vessel is overtaken by a strange virus. It's pretty good, using a less-is-more approach, carefully building suspense and a permeating sense of dread without being able to show much. If you want a lot of monster action, this is not really that kind of movie, although there are a few gory moments. It's more atmospheric, relying a lot on the actors selling their characters' psychological degradation, but the cast was up to the task. "Sea Fever" was a very pleasant surprise, as I had never heard about it before and there just not enough maritime horror flicks being produced anymore. Thankfully, this was a good one. 

3/4 

*Severance (2006) *is a British-German production, directed by Christopher Smith ("Black Death", "Triangle"), where co-workers going on a company retreat find themselves being hunted by mysterious masked man. This is supposed to be a horror-comedy, although the tone admittedly sometimes leans too much one way or another, but it is consistently entertaining. I liked the banter amongst the characters and appreciated how it played with the usual tropes. The kills range from irreverent to somewhat disturbing, although I found myself wishing they were a little bloodier. Nevertheless, "Severance" is an amusing, stylish and fast paced slasher with enough cleverness to even earn respectful nods from the genres detractors.

3/4 

*Sharktopus Vs Whalewolf (2015)* is a... syfy original... that's also a sequel to "Sharktopus", because they apparently needed a franchise about a shark/octopus hybrid going around and causing hijinks. It's about as bad as you think it would be, not having enough resources to be anything but deliberately bad, albeit with enough sight gags to let you know it's on the joke... Still not very funny.  I have grown fond of Casper Van Dien over the years though. He always looks like he's having fun doing these kinds of movies. 

1.5/4  

*Witchfinder General (1968) *stars Vincent Price as Matthew Hopkins, a historical figure who was infamous for burning and hanging supposed witches throughout the 1600's. This was somewhat of a deviation from the usual Vincent Price performance, as while he's no stranger to playing rotten villains, they usually have a tragic backstory and/or a razor sharp wit. But there is absolutely nothing endearing about his character here. He's a loathsome human being through and through, who you cannot wait to see his just deserts. "Witchfinder General" is also surprisingly disturbing for its time period, with one immolation standing out as particularly shocking. The problem with the movie is that it keeps changing perspectives. Richard (Ian Ogilvy) is supposed to be the hero, but he vanishes throughout the narrative for large chunks of time, never really interacting with Price's Hopkins until the finale.  I also thought the ending was rushed from a narrative standpoint, even though it was still pretty chilling.

Tragically, the very talented director Michael Reeves died not even a year after "Witchfinder General" was released, at twenty five years old. 

3/4

*Resurrection (1999)* is often derided as a cheap "Se7en" knock-off, but it's actually a... er... decent, cheap "Se7en" knock-off. There's a serial killer who is stealing limbs in an apparent attempt to recreate the body of Christ and a pair of Detectives (Christopher Lambert and Leland Orser) are assigned to the case. You can definitely recognize a lot of the "Se7en" story beats and even the visual style often seems to be imitating it, but "Resurrection" moves at a brisk pace and does showcase a lot of surprisingly exciting and tense moments. I thought the mystery was engaging thanks to some really well placed clues and some of the violence on display... holy f@ck did "Resurrection" have some grotesque f@cking imagery... That big reveal at the end was tramautic!

On the flip side, the stylistic choices are very hit or miss. Sometimes they work and add to the intensity, but other times they feel really, really desperate... I sometimes laughed at some of those crazy zoom-in's and MTV-styled editing. Even though I liked Christopher Lambert and enjoyed his chemistry with Leland Orser (who is great), his more dramatic scenes were awkward in how overacted they were. Towards the end, there is also some silly court room shenanigans to allow the killer to escape (didn't buy it) and the fakest f@cking baby I have ever seen. But you know what? In spite of its flaws, I found myself enjoying "Resurrection". It's one of the better movies to emerge from the mighty shadow of "Se7en".

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2021)

*The Mummy (1999) *might technically be a remake of the 1932 classic of the same name, but it feels much more like an Indiana Jones adventure, which is probably what made it such a big hit upon release. This movie blends action, adventure, horror and even comedy so seamlessly that it's not always easy to tell when one genre ends and another begins, even during the same scene. This was especially a thrilling combination for me at the tender age of 13, who thought "The Mummy" was the coolest thing ever. As an adult, there are a few eye brow raising faults I never noticed before and some of the special effects show their age, but the breezy pacing and exciting set pieces kept my mind from lingering on the blemishes for too long. The cast is a lot of fun, with Brendan Fraser striking the perfect balance of bad-ass and comedic timing. He also has great chemistry with Rachel Weisz, who's having a blast in her role. Even the characters who could've been annoying, like John Hannah's bumbling comedic relief, end up being really funny. I laughed at nearly all of the sight gags and great lines. Yet "The Mummy" is also surprisingly disturbing for a PG-13 movie, showing some really grotesque imagery that pushes the rating beyond its comfort zones. There are even a few scary moments, but "The Mummy" is designed to be the ultimate crowd pleaser, low on brains but high in entertainment and it satisfies all of its quotas -- even romance. Definitely a classic of the 1990's.

I don't plan on revisiting the sequels... at least any time soon. I thought "The Mummy Returns" was OK, but didn't like the third entry. There was also the "Scorpion King" spin-off, which had its own direct-to-DVD franchise, but... no...

3.5/4  
*
Critters (1986)* is seemingly one of my few childhood favorites that is actually regarded as... well... good. While it was initially released with a mixed critical reception, for it was derided for being somewhat of a "Gremlins" rip-off (it's not), time has been kind to "Critters" and it's generally now regarded as a cult classic -- deservingly so. "Critters" has a great blend of comedy and horror, while also having some science fiction elements. The humor is mostly amusing, but one f@cking scene always has me laughing out loud (that F-bomb) and I was taken aback at how well placed some of the jump scares were. I flinched quite often, but they're also earned thanks to some stellar build-up. The characters are likable enough thanks to the cast, although there really isn't anything special about their development or iconic about their personalities. 

"Critters" does have some pacing issues, even though the short running-time keeps them from becoming a serious problem... although at the same time, I think movies underneath 90 minutes should have no excuses for any kind of pacing issue. I was debating what the problem was, as the slow start-up shouldn't really matter. I initially thought that the cutaways to the bounty hunters was what sometimes stalled the narrative, as while it showcases some cool set pieces and has some good sight gags, I did think "Critters" was at its most exciting during the siege of the farm. I eventually came to the conclusion though that the issue was more with the character of the Sheriff, played by M. Emmet Walsh. The actor is great, but I didn't think his perspective was necessary. I suppose some might complain about a few of the more dated effects, but I think the critters themselves were really well done. They have designs that are both terrifying and comedic, while also being a little cute. Their rolling and projectile quills were nice touches too. I think "Critters" side stepped its low budget by simply being creative, so my issues only stem from the pacing and even then, they weren't a big deal. "Critters" is awesome. 

There would be four sequels and a mini-series. None of them were anywhere near as good as the original, but at least they weren't "Ghoulies". Speaking of which... 

3.5/4 

I remember liking* Ghoulies II (1987)* as a kid and would watch it whenever it showed up on television, although for some reason I always thought it was "Ghoulies 1". Years later, I would actually watch the real first "Ghoulies"... assuming I just didn't find it so boring that I had scrubbed it from my memory or something of the sort... and figured I might as well revisit the one that I liked. This time, the ghoulies find themselves at a carnival, where they terrorize employees and customers alike. 

So has "Ghoulies II" withstood the test of time? Is it everything like I remembered? Ummm...

I didn't have a bad time, I guess. You can really tell that the filmmakers are trying to get you to care about the characters by giving them "colorful"... not necessarily good... dialogue and the actors are even given some opportunity to showcase their dramatic capabilities... even if not all of them are necessarily good either... There is even a character arc or two to be found. I'd still say "Ghoulies II" is pretty bad, other than maybe the makeup effects, which still have that "Ghoulies" charm about them. I've said it once and I'll say it many times more, I love the uniqueness of their designs and how hairy, scaly and slimy they all are. Much of the movie is pretty silly, but sometimes I did chuckle. The finale is where everything goes insane. Someone FINALLY dies on the toilet, after the first film deceived us with its poster. The carnies actually try to battle the ghoulies in a bizarre brawl, before the ghoulies are let loose upon the carnival. There are some reasonably ambitious effects for the low budget, culminating in a giant ghoulie -- which is really just a dude in a ghoulie suit -- causing havoc. This was something that disappointed me, as for some reason, I was remembering the giant ghoulie as an actual giant, not just a human sized monster. Nevertheless, it is gross and gratifying seeing it consume other ghoulies. 

Like I said, "Ghoulies II" is pretty bad, but it also does have some of that cheesy, low budgeted appeal found in the better Charles Band productions and at least wasn't boring -- automatically making it superior to the first one. Band would end up selling the rights to the franchise, which lead to two more sequels that I've never actually watched. Maybe I will have to check them out/ endure them? We shall see...

2/4 

*Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)* is the worst entry in this franchise... so far... which sounds pretty ominous considering how I still have "Wrong Turn 6" to endure. I actually held some respect for this series, even after they became direct-to-DVD schlock, as their cinematic shortcomings were balanced out by their splattery merits. This was the first time though where I felt the gore, while still pretty 'well done' (pun maybe intended), was just not enough to make this worth watching. The problem is that "Wrong Turn 5" tries to... flesh... out its cast so that we like them, but this is at odds with the absurdly cartoonish-yet-gruesome ways they are dispatched. I think when the nice girl was forced to eat her own intestines, I just... sort of... checked out, as it was too much of a downer. Perhaps the filmmakers were going for a high level of intensity, but the movie is too stupid to take seriously, so... once again, everything just felt at odds with everything else. Even the characters, in spite of the efforts to make the audience like them, are too idiotic to be particularly likable. 

These movies all have their individual gimmicks, but this time "Wrong Turn" is crossed with "Assault on Precinct 13", where the mutant inbred cannibals lay siege to a police station in order to break out their Father figure (Doug Bradley). The deserted town setting allowed for a few interesting shots, but... were those production trucks blocking off the streets? Now that was comedic gold, but most of the film takes place in more cramped quarters, such as hotels or police stations. Doug Bradley is having fun, but his character brings out the worst in the writing and the rest of the cast is pretty terrible. I might recommend watching a compilation of the kill scenes for the gore hounds out there, but that's it... "Wrong Turn 5" has seriously left me questioning whether it's even worth it to bother with the 6th entry. It's even left me wondering whether I'm even into gore anymore.

*sigh*

1.5/4 

*Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort (2014)*... f@ck, it looks like I'm doing this... is actually a reboot of the franchise, although the three same cannibals are still the antagonists. This one surrounds a troubled man, who discovers that he inherited an isolated resort, deep in the mountains. He also brings his disposable friends with him. "Wrong Turn 6" is so terrible that I found myself actually beginning to question whether I was too harsh on "Wrong Turn 5". The story is beat by beat the same as any 'mysterious orphan is drawn back to an ancestral home that has a negative influence' tale, except it's somehow even more stupid and contrived. The protagonist is a wet blanket and his supporting cast is just annoying, with everyone doing whatever idiotic thing is required so they can die. EVEN THE KILLS ARE NOT THAT GOOD!? Is "Wrong Turn 6" gory? Absolutely, but the kills just feel routine by this point. There is one or two cringe inducing deaths that had the mean spirited gruesomeness of its predecessors, but the effects aren't really good enough to make it count. Also -- was it just me or was the editing just a little too tight during the bloody action? Did the MPAA take an axe to this? 

"Wrong Turn 5" might have been a piece of shit, but at least it was outrageous. Say what you will about the director of the previous three films, Declan O'Brien, he at least has a deranged imagination when it comes to thinking of ways to kill people. His replacement, Valeri Milev, has a better grasp of tone, is working with a better group of actors and there is even some creative editing choices, but it doesn't really matter when the rest of the movie sucks and not even the gore is satisfactory. "Wrong Turn 5" irritated me, but "Wrong Turn 6" bored me and that is so much worse. Thank God this franchise is over -- F@CK, ANOTHER REBOOT!?

1/4


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## Velocity (Nov 6, 2021)

I love the first two Mummy movies. They’re totally comfort food moviesThere didn’t need to be a third and recasting Evie was a terrible decision. If Weisz was unhappy with the script, they should’ve rewritten it until she wasn’t.

As for the Wrong Turn movies, only the first one is any good. I liked the premise of a game show being interrupted by interbred cannibals, though, but the execution was really bad.

Have you seen a movie called Antidote? It’s new and sounds interesting but I haven’t seen it yet. I really liked Malignant and Last Night in Soho, though.


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## MartialHorror (Nov 6, 2021)

Velocity said:


> I love the first two Mummy movies. They’re totally comfort food moviesThere didn’t need to be a third and recasting Evie was a terrible decision. If Weisz was unhappy with the script, they should’ve rewritten it until she wasn’t.
> 
> As for the Wrong Turn movies, only the first one is any good. I liked the premise of a game show being interrupted by interbred cannibals, though, but the execution was really bad.
> 
> Have you seen a movie called Antidote? It’s new and sounds interesting but I haven’t seen it yet. I really liked Malignant and Last Night in Soho, though.



I liked both the 1st and 2nd Wrong Turn, although for completely different reasons. I find Wrong Turn 3-4 to be mostly mediocre.

Haven't seen "Antidote" yet. Definitely want to see "Last Night in Soho".


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## MartialHorror -- ! (Nov 29, 2021)

*Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)* is a bizarre collision of cultures, combining an old west setting with the samurai era, set in an anachronistic timeline filled with modern cars and a mix of period piece and post-apocalyptic costumes... and Nicolas Cage... and of f@cking course it is directed by Sion Sono. But while it can be argued that "Prisoners of the Ghostland" belongs to many different genres, it is above all else, really f@cking weird. I have complex feelings towards Sion Sono, as it seems like his movies always comes so close to brilliance, only to succumb to naval gazing weirdness... or just straight of craziness... It's always frustrating to watch his movies lose their f@cking minds, so I found myself pleasantly surprised with "Prisoners of the Ghostland", primarily because it establishes itself as insane from its opening shot. 

This is definitely an acquired taste, even amongst Sion Sono fans. Nothing really makes sense and it often feels bizarre for the sake of the bizarre. The acting is over-the-top, with Nicolas Cage turning in a crazy performance and STILL coming across as one of the more subdued actors. Characters will sometimes randomly break out into song, the dialogue is cryptic and strange, the story... well, the story for some reason makes sense... sort of... The setting might be a fever dream, but the plot is really just a take on "Escape from New York". Some have decried the movie as boring, but there is quite a bit of action and it's both stylish and bloody. The pacing is uneven, but even when it slows down, everything is just so surreal that it always had my attention. Sion Sono might be a controversial director, but part of my love-hate relationship with his works is that his movies often do have substance. They have something to say and can forge an emotional connection with the viewer... they just in the end, sacrifice all of that for style. "Prisoners of the Ghostland" is just style. There's no substance to it, so it never reaches the same highs of Sono's better flicks, but it also never really frustrated me either. I just accepted it for what it was... and if nothing else "Prisoners of the Ghostland", gave me 'Nicolas Cage Vs Tak Sakaguchi'. 

2.5/4 

*PG: Psycho Goreman (2020)* was sold to me as a schlocky, gory version of "Power Rangers", which isn't... quite accurate... but I had a blast with it all the same. A planet destroying monster finds itself under the control of two children and shit only gets crazier from there. "Psycho Goreman" is hilarious, with its titular monster being the 'straight man' to the wacky hijinks of the kids and everyone played their roles to perfection. I especially loved how the monster would deliver these genuinely unsettling lines, backed up by his deranged methods of mayhem that felt like a cross between Lovecraft and "Hellraiser", only to have the piss constantly taken out of him by some snot nosed brats, who are mostly unimpressed by his bloody works. Kids truly are the real monsters. I also dug the creature designs, with other aliens and monstrosities showing up, each with their own unique look. The practical effects are really good in that gross, slimy kind of way. There is CGI, but even though it looks bad, it adds another layer of charm. "PG: Psycho Goreman" just hit all the right notes with me. Loved it.

3.5/4 

*Rawhead Rex (1986) *is described as an 'Irish fantasy-slasher', which is certainly an attention-grabbing marriage of genres, even if the finished product is very uneven. I actually remember seeing this as a kid and the scene where the titular monster terrorizes a little kid freaked me the f@ck out. I've been wanting to watch this again as an adult, but whenever I was interested, it would not be readily available... and whenever it was readily available, I was not interested... But now I have finally revisited this and it's... OK... I liked a lot of the atmosphere and the story contains a few pretty unnerving beats. The acting is really all over the place, with some really solid performances mingling with some really bad performances. The monster itself kind of embodies the movie, sometimes looking really good and other times looking like a really good Halloween costume. A few of the creative decisions were really odd, especially with how the more fantastical effects work are used, but "Rawhead Rex" also boasts one particularly ambitious set piece for a horror flick. Like I said, it's a very uneven movie.

Clive Barker wrote the source novel and adapted the screenplay, but he was apparently very unhappy with the final product, inspiring him to take a more active role in adapting "Hellraiser".  

2.5/4 

*Night of the Lepus (1972)* sounded like it would be delightful, as... get this... it's about an Arizona town being overrun by *gasp* gigantic, murderous... BUNNY RABBITS! And it's not a comedy, with venerated actors Suart Whitman, Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun and DeForest Kelley taking the material VERY seriously. You can't get that much more epically terrible than that! I was sure I'd be laughing my ass off and... I did for a little bit... The special effects use footage of actual bunnies rampaging through some crudely built miniatures, but the director attempts to sell us on them being terrifying by applying fake blood on their noises, growling sound effects and characters describing how ferocious they are -- and yet they still look so cute! There is also the occasional bunny suit, albeit not the sexy kind. Unfortunately, it all gets pretty old really quickly and it soon becomes apparent that the cast are either embarrassed or bored -- possibly both. I don't blame them. "Night of the Lepus" is boring, using almost the same special effects over and over again, with the cast droning a bunch of nonsense I couldn't care about. It moves at the pace of the tortoise, instead of the hare. Har, har.

1.5/4 

*Uzumaki (2000) i*s probably one of the weirdest f@cking J-horror flicks out there... okay, maybe not "Hausu" weird, but I don't know if anything is quite that weird. I remember watching this when it was first released in the west, during the big J-horror craze. I really, really hated it and have absolutely no idea why I chose to give it another chance... but I'm glad I did. I guess this is one of those cases where I just didn't 'get it' at the time. "Uzumaki" is very campy, often striving for deliberate cheesiness. But it does weave in its goofy side with a lot of really disturbing imagery and somehow that marriage works. Sometimes, even the cheesy effects and over-the-top performances end up making the film even creepier. "Uzumaki" is definitely a little on the slow side, probably because it doesn't have a conventional narrative. The inhabitants of a town become obsessed with spirals and this causes a lot of weird shit to happen. Why exactly is it happening? It's never really clear and the movie itself doesn't seem interested in pushing the story along, as much as it just loses itself in... well... the spiral related imagery. But "Uzumaki" does have a lot of atmosphere and style, being sort of the quintessential love it or hate it kind of experience. I hated it as a teenager, like it as an adult, but something tells me that I'll probably have a different reaction for every stage in my life. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 20, 2021)

*The Dark and the Wicked (2020) *is from director Bryan Bertino ("The Strangers") and it earned a lot of acclaim as a legitimately scary horror movie. The story is simple enough, I guess. Siblings return to their family home to help their mother care for their dying Father... except Mom seems to have gone insane since the last time they saw her, as she keeps spouting nonsense about the devil. But then strange things start to happen... Bertino does an exceptional job at building up a sense of dread here. The farm setting provides a lot of spooky imagery and the suspense had me literally holding my breath at varying points. The cast is really good too, with Marin Ireland and Michael Abbott Jr. being likable as our protagonists, while also selling us on their own fear. I've said it a million times and I'll say it a million times more, one of the most effective ways of frightening an audience is having a cast who can really convey fear. It's contagious. 

Unfortunately, "The Dark and the Wicked" ends up being all build up with little pay-off. I mean, that's technically not true... The payoff's are adequate enough, just kind of ordinary. You know, the usual assortment of jump scares, demonic eyes, self-mutilations, taking the forms of other people, etc. The more we see the 'menace' in action, the less scary it becomes. There also does reach a point where the characters stop really trying to do anything and the remainder of the story is merely them reacting to what's happening. Finally, the last scare fell completely flat for me. It was predictable and too abrupt. Nevertheless, none of the "weaknesses" I just described were necessarily deal breakers. "The Dark and the Wicked" is a very tense experience, even if its tendency to fall back on cliche keeps it from reaching its full potential.

3/4 

*Interview with a Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994) *is the iconic adaptation of the Anne Rice (RIP) novel of the same name and is regarded as a horror classic of the 1990's. Even though I would've been like 8 years old at the time of its release, I was very aware of its existence and even kind of remember its marketing campaign -- although I can't recall if it was for the theatrical or VHS debut. Despite this, I never got around to watching the movie... until now... and it's pretty good! Yet while this might be a controversial statement, I felt "Interview with a Vampire" worked primarily because of its production values. The sets, make-up and costumes are phenomenally realized, while the director and cinematographer draw out plenty of mood and style from them.

I did think the story sometimes meandered... you can definitely tell that this was designed to be a novel and... ugh... You might hate me for this, but I thought the acting was really uneven. This has an exceptional cast, with Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas and Christian Slater being in the prime of their careers... or at least the early stages of their rise... and young Kirsten Dunst makes a tremendous splash too, even arguably stealing the show. But was it just me or did both Cruise and Pitt seem really uncomfortable with the dialogue? There are some scenes where they're great, but other scenes where I either struggled taking Cruise seriously or found Pitt to be a wet blanket. There are some awesome and moving dramatic payoffs, but the last scene was strangely campy for such a melancholy movie. I dunno, I think most favor "Interview with a Vampire" more than I did. I certainly admire its technical finesse, but I was never quite convinced by some of the casting choices.

3/4  

*The Wolf House (2018) *is a Chilean stop motion animated fantasy --f@cking surrealistic as f@ck -- horror flick that went way over my head. The animation is stylish and disquieting, building up to a surprisingly freaky finale, but I spent the entirety of my viewing experience trying to figure out what the f@ck was going on. After reading more about it, I tip my head in respect... but this just really isn't my kind of movie.

2.5/4

*Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms (2021) *is the sequel to the surprisingly good "Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge", this time with the tournament being the primary conflict, with Scorpion being demoted to the side-quest. The first movie had structural problems, but "Battle of the Realms" fixes this by... not having a structure at all... Okay, so maybe 'fix' isn't really the right word? There is so much going on in a very little amount of time that only die-hard fans of the games will be able to appreciate or even understand. I found myself often being reminded of that shitty "Mortal Kombat Annihilation" movie, where it's just a whole lot of fanservice without rhyme or reason, although this thankfully isn't awful about it. I couldn't really find myself getting invested in all of these new characters, who simply just aren't given enough time to really come into their own, nor could I even really care about the plights of the returning cast, because they don't really move forward as characters (except Raiden)... but I still had enough fun thanks to the endless barrage of action scenes. The presentation of the animation is still stellar and yet distinct. The gore is still... gory... and I was even taken aback by how crazy some of the deaths were, especially when they were delivered to characters you didn't necessarily expect to bite it.

I think how much you enjoy "Battle of the Realms" comes down to your relationship with the games. If you love them and are familiar with all the lore, you probably will enjoy this. If you're a casual like me, you might enjoy this. If you know nothing about the franchise, you'll probably not care for it.

2.5/4  

*Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)* is one of the most convoluted genre mashups that I've ever seen, being a historical epic loosely based on a true story and a political thriller full of intrigue... and an action swashbuckler full of... kung fu? What the f@ck? There's also a mystery, romance and a f@cking monster that eats people, somehow qualifying "Brotherhood of the Wolf" as a horror movie amidst all of its genres. Did I mention that this is also loosely based on a true story yet? Apparently, there was a series of real-life wolf attacks in 18th century France (so it's also a period piece) ... and as a cherry on top, "Brotherhood of the Wolf" also is stylized after spaghetti westerns for some reason.

Awesome!

"Brotherhood of the Wolf" is a French production and I remember watching it when it was first released in the states, being thrown off by the dubbing and the presence of Mark Dacascos, who I was a fan of. I didn't 'get' the movie at the time, finding the plot both boring and hard to follow. I needed more monster kung fu action and yet I seem to remember finding the CGI a little unconvincing even back then and yes, the special effects have aged pretty poorly -- even if the costumes and sets are certainly top notch. The design of the beast was pretty cool too. Now as a seasoned veteran of cinema, I could stomach all of this plot and had no problem following it, although I do think it was often more convoluted than it needed to be. The running-time is a bit bloated, with plenty of side stories that could've easily been trimmed down or cut out. But "Brotherhood of the Wolf" definitely has style. Did the movie need to have crazy kung fu fights? No, but it was pretty f@cking awesome for it. "Brotherhood of the Wolf" definitely is a big budgeted oddity, but it is pretty f@cking cool.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 14, 2022)

*Cub (2014) *is a Belgian slasher about a troop of boy scouts who are terrorized by a masked killer in the woods. As a slasher, "Cub" is serviceable. The design of the killer's mask unique and I liked the use of traps. There are some imaginative kills, with gruesome effects and even a few broken taboos. Beyond that though, it feels like there are a lot of gaps within the story and much more egregiously, the characters aren't very likable. Sometimes you just want to see them die now, not later. Nevertheless, entertainment can be found if you're into slasher flicks.

2.5/4

*Dead End (2003)* is a pretty compelling 'road trip horror', about a very dysfunctional family on the way to a Christmas dinner who make the mistake of taking a back road... which never seems to end... and there might be a killer after them. The movie has a good balance of humor and dread, with some spooky atmosphere in spite of (or maybe because of?) its obviously limited production values. I'm intrigued by 'road trip horror' stories and this one utilizes its setting effectively. The characters are deliberately written to be unlikable, but the cast (which includes genre favorites Richard Wise and Lin Shaye) is exceptional, turning in the right kind of performances to fit the somewhat unconventional tone. You never really know if there are going to be tears or bitter laughs, because the cast is so good at selling both the tragedy and the comedy of the situation. My only real issue with the movie was... okay, maybe outside of a few stupid character moments... the ending. It's so obvious where they were heading with it that I'm not even sure if it was supposed to be a twist, but I swear I saw the exact same ending in another movie... although I can't recall its title or if it came out first...  Anyway, it was a fun movie and even the predictable ending didn't really bother me too much. The lean running-time really makes the more questionable creative decisions a little more palatable. 

For those wondering about the 'other movie'. 
*Spoiler*: __ 



I think it was set at a gas station? I just remember the twist being the same




3/4 

*Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972)* is a giallo that works and fails for the usual reasons that a giallo either works or fails. There's little in the way of logic, with there always being one of those scenes where a character tells the protagonist that they know who the killer is... and will tell them later... so that the killer can dispatch them first. But "Red Queen Kills Seven Times" is armed with a lot of style and a great soundtrack. The characters might be the usual gathering of seedy rogues, but at least they die well and some of them are even hot. Did the big reveal make a lot of sense? Not really, but at least it's set in a spooky castle. "Red Queen Kills Seven Times" is also pretty smoothly paced, allowing giallo fans to focus more on the good than the bad. I thought it was fun. 

3/4 

*The Devil Rides Out (1968)* is a Hammer horror flick directed by Terence Fisher and written by Richard Matheson, with a rare heroic turn from Christopher Lee as an aristocrat who desperately attempts to save his friend from a Satanic cult. This was a flop upon release, although it's been re-evaluated to such an extent that many consider it to be somewhat of a masterpiece. Terence Fisher's direction is certainly suspenseful, with great pacing and moody visuals. The cast is phenomenal and are armed with an abundance of snappy dialogue. Christopher Lee commands the screen as the 'Van Helsing'-esque expert on the occult, but he also conveys fear and alarm very well, which single handedly sold me on some of the dated effects. Charles Gray made for a sinister villain, with one hell of a monologue. 
Now some of the writing certainly was... er... bad. Just bad. It's the type of writing where a dude kidnaps a Satanist and leaves them alone in the car -- WHICH HE SERIOUSLY LEFT RUNNING!? I also have to assume that it's only proper for an aristocrat to let someone they know to be a Satanic sorcerer in their house, because trying to sacrifice your friends to the devil is no excuse to be rude. But beyond some of that nonsense, I thought "The Devil Rides Out" was very good.

3/4 

*Invaders from Mars (1986)* is a more family friendly horror flick from Tobe Hooper, stylized after 1950's science fiction. I think I would've had a better time if I was more experienced in 1950's nostalgia, but as is... it was OK. I struggled adapting to the often deliberately campy or wooden performances, but sometimes I found them endearing and the special effects were pretty damn cool. Love those disgusting looking aliens!

2.5/4


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## Uncle Acid (Jan 15, 2022)

Some good choices there. The Devil Rides Out and Brotherhood of the Wolf are both among my all time favorite movies. 

The Devil Rides Out are easily a top 5 folk horror film (which is my favorite subgenre of movies), and Brotherhood of the Wolf are among the best action horror movies ever. Such a well-made, unique and different movie. Top notch!

Not sure if you're really into folk horror or not, but I highly recommend the new documentary "Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror" which really offers a in-depth look at the subgenre.  It's fun and entertaining, but more than anything it's really interesting and informative. I learned so much from this despite being a huge folk horror nerd. Highly recommended.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 15, 2022)

Uncle Acid said:


> Some good choices there. The Devil Rides Out and Brotherhood of the Wolf are both among my all time favorite movies.
> 
> The Devil Rides Out are easily a top 5 folk horror film (which is my favorite subgenre of movies), and Brotherhood of the Wolf are among the best action horror movies ever. Such a well-made, unique and different movie. Top notch!
> 
> Not sure if you're really into folk horror or not, but I highly recommend the new documentary "Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror" which really offers a in-depth look at the subgenre.  It's fun and entertaining, but more than anything it's really interesting and informative. I learned so much from this despite being a huge folk horror nerd. Highly recommended.



Will do. I feel like 'folk horror' is something I've only recently gotten into as a genre.


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## MartialHorror (Jan 20, 2022)

I had planned on seeing *Scream (2022)* on opening night, but Covid-19 had other ideas and I had to be very timid around the internet to avoid spoilers. I've always adored this franchise, mostly because it was 'the' franchise of my youth (1990's). Is the first movie as overrated as many slasher purists claim? Sure. But I also don't think any of the sequels were bad either. That is, until... not yet... "Scream (2022)" is a razor wit, with all the genre commentary and horror in-jokes a "Scream" fanboy could ever want. This is always going to be somewhat of a contentious point of the franchise and I can't really define when the meta stuff works and when it doesn't. I actually think the first film was a bit heavy handed, with "Scream 2" perfecting the concept... even if it's weaker in almost every other way... "Scream 3" attempted to get away from it and the franchise lost its personality in the process, while "Scream 4" laid it on way too thick. There are a few moments where "Scream (2022)" tested my patience, as sometimes characters will say something that I just don't feel real people would say in that situation. It's especially jarring when characters behave this way when their friends are dying, but who knows? Maybe that's also commentary on societies apathetic nature. Either way, I'd still say "Scream (2022)" was the closest to the original in how it balanced its satire with suspense. And when it's funny or clever, it's really funny and clever.

"Scream (2022)" isn't really the most graphic horror movie out there, but the kills are arguably among the franchise's most brutal. I often found myself cringing and the build-up into those kills kept me on edge. The filmmakers are obviously very savvy and understand that the audience is too by this point, so they find ways of using our expectations against us. There are some genuine shocks.

If there are any flaws, it's that... well... I really didn't think Sidney or Gail were necessary here, beyond the fanservice and attempts to pass on the torch. Dewey certainly has a place in the narrative, but you could tell that the filmmakers outlined their story under the assumption that Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox would say 'no'. This definitely isn't "Halloween (2018)" or even the new "Star Wars" trilogy, where the returning stars were still integral to the story. There's also a cameo that I'm really not sure how I feel about. The new cast of characters were fun though. Will they be icons like their predecessors? Who knows, but I enjoyed watching them banter and didn't root for their deaths. One way or another, "Scream (2022)" is definitely a return to form for the franchise and might even be my favorite amongst the sequels. Maybe.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jan 26, 2022)

*Army of Thieves (2021)* isn't a horror film, but it is a prequel to Zack Snyder's bombastic "Army of the Dead", being sort of an origins story for safe cracking expert, Ludwig Dieter (Matthias Schweighöfer -- who also directs). The zombie uprising has begun... but only in another country, so don't expect any real zombie mayhem outside of a few dream sequences and news footage. This is very much a heist movie and as such, it's pretty good. It has a colorful cast of characters, a fair amount of wit and style and even a bit of heart. I wasn't the biggest fan of Ludwig Dieter in his debut, but the character is much more digestible here... no pun intended... Schweighöfer brings in more sides to the character and I found myself liking him quite a bit. 

Will I remember "Army of Thieves"? Probably not, as I don't think it does much that most other heist movies have already done beyond some meta jokes... Also, wasn't "Army of the Dead" also a heist movie? Just with zombies? I don't really get why "Army of Thieves" needs to exist, outside of Zack Snyder probably wanting his own shared universe after the "Justice League" fallout, but "Army of Thieves" is also arguably a movie better than "Army of the Dead". It's better structured, better paced and Schweighöfer doesn't seem to share Snyder's tendency towards excess. It's a perfectly solid, if unexceptional, movie.

3/4

*Trilogy of Terror (1975)* is a made-for-TV anthology flick that's remembered for one thing -- that f@cking Zuni fetish doll. I remember glimpsing it on television back when I was a kid and it freaked me the f@ck out. More recently, I asked a few friends and family members if they've seen "Trilogy of Terror" and their responses were usually "is that the one with the doll?". What can I say? The design is creepy and its rabid assaults and chattering noises make it so much worse. A doll with a razor, inflicting frenzied superficial wounds is somehow inherently scarier than a giant cutting off heads with a machete.

Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is pretty boring. Karen Black plays the lead in each segment. The first has her as a mousey teacher who becomes the object of lust for a douchebag. The subject matter is disturbing, but maybe themes like blackmail and rape are a bit too dark for a silly horror anthology? The ending also was weak. The second tale has Black play a pair of sisters, who are polar opposites and might be conspiring to kill each-other. The twist ending is obvious and it's revealed in a very anti-climactic kind of way. The third involves the Zuni fetish doll and it has a perfect blend of camp and terror. It pretty much salvages the 'trilogy', although at least the movie overall is very short.

2/4 

*Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021)* is the first entry in the "Fear Street" trilogy, based on the R.L.Stine novel of the same name. I used to be a huge "Goosebumps" fan, but only dabbled in his "Fear Street" series, as I had grown out of it by then... even though "Fear Street" was more for adults, so presumably I would've liked it more... So I don't know how faithful of an adaptation this is, but it's pretty good on its own. Set in 1994, a town with a history of violence is suddenly besieged by a series of grisly murders. It's up to teenagers to solve the mystery as to 'why' and stop it once and for all. "1994" definitely had that 1990's nostalgia going for it and I do like how even the thrills were staged and stylized like the horror flicks of the decade. The pacing is brisk and there are a few kills that will leave you going "HOLY F@CK!". I really liked the characters too, even the ones who you may be quick to dismiss as the ones you want to see die. The love story between the two leads is surprisingly compelling thanks to the chemistry between the actresses (yes, you're reading that right). I am curious how "Fear Street" will continue as a trilogy, as the events of the sequels were already pretty clearly laid out in this one. But I am excited to see what happens next.

3/4

*Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021) *continues the story, by... going into the past, as a survivor of a campground massacre relates her tale. I was pretty disappointed in this entry, as I am a huge fan of campground slashers, so I eagerly anticipated this homage to "Friday the 13th".  But while I did like the setting, I did NOT like the characters in the slightest. Part of the reason "1994" worked because it gave us characters who felt real, warts and all. The cast of "1978" are stereotyped to the point of being cartoons. "1994" certainly had its assholes, but at least they were funny. "1978" is comprised almost entirely of assholes, but they're unpleasant and by the time the story attempts to humanize then, it's just too late. I needed them to die horribly and... the kills are fine? I guess? They're just surprisingly unimaginative. The story has some pretty amusing holes too, like how our heroine is apparently narrating events she was not present for. But as the middle part of a trilogy, it does add a few twists and turns to keep me interested in the resolution.

2/4

*Fear Street Part Three: 1666 (2021)* both concludes the trilogy and takes us even further into the past, where we get to learn the origins of the curse. Unfortunately, once again, I find myself disappointed... even if I'll concede that this is technically a step up from the last one. The puritan age setting is always a compelling one and I appreciate the efforts to make this feel somewhat authentic. I liked the cinematography and the performances, although the decision to cast actors from the first two entries in entirely new roles was a somewhat confusing choice. The problem with "1666" is simple -- it should have been two movies. The '1666' setting takes up about an hour, works well on its own and has a pretty intense climax, but just when you're getting ready to turn it off, you realize there is almost another hour to go. There's still entertainment to be found, but the villains have been outsmarted so many times by now that they no longer feel that menacing. The action is strangely kind of humorous too, so we know the heroes are not likely going to be killed at this point. Now that I think about it, maybe "Fear Street: 1994" probably should've limited its villains to just Skullface, as seeing them all converge at once could have made for a bad-ass grand finale... But the previous films both blew that load... In the end, I thought the first one was good, but the story did not need to be stretched out into a trilogy.

2/4

I will give credit where credit is due though. You can definitely tell the trilogy was produced from a source of inspiration. Most viewers seem to enjoy all three movies about equally, so I do think you should give the trilogy a chance, regardless of my own feelings.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 8, 2022)

*Werewolves Within (2021)* is a murder mystery horror-comedy set in an isolated town under siege by a blizzard... and a killer... who might also be a werewolf. A movie after my own heart, with all the ingredients to give me a good time. I love the snow bound locale, the gorgeous yet kind of spooky lodge and the playful tone that kept me laughing. I wouldn't describe "Werewolves Within" as scary, but it has its fair share of thrills and the mystery was compelling too. I had a blast with it.  

3.5/4 

*Dead Snow: Red Vs Dead (2014) *is the sequel to the Norwegian horror-comedy, "Dead Snow", with the Nazi zombies seeking to take over Norway... Only a ragtag team of zombie hunters -- and a battalion of Nazi soviets -- can stop them. "Red Vs Dead" is even more outrageous than its predecessor, with plenty of disgusting bloody set pieces. The humor doesn't always work, but when it lands, it's hilarious. And always gruesome. 

3/4

*The Deadly Spawn (1983)* arguably boasts the coolest monster effects for such a miniscule budget. The phallic and toothy designs are quite disturbing, while the gore is... gross as f@ck. I was taken aback by how nasty this movie really was. It's just such a shame that the already short running-time is padded out to such an extent that when people aren't getting their faces munched off, "The Deadly Spawn" is kind of boring. The acting is pretty bad too. I would say this is definitely one of those "It has its moments" kind of movies, but damn, those moments are awesome. 

2.5/4 

*Benny Loves You (2019)* is a horror-comedy about a childhood toy coming to life to terrorize the owner who threw it away. I really did enjoy this movie 'in parts'. It has some really wicked kills, that sometimes even break taboos. The dark humor usually worked and there are even some "Oh, shit!" moments of unpredictability. But... there's always a but... it was a little too slow paced for my liking. It might have to do with the narratives dependance on cringe inducing situations, which can be funny and suspenseful, but also can get old fast. Nevertheless, "Benny Loves You" is a charming little bloodball.

2.5/4 

*Wrong Turn (2021)* is a pretty solid movie, but its existence torments my mind every time I dwell on it. Why did "Wrong Turn" need a reboot? Especially so shortly after the last sequel, which was already kind of a reboot? The original has its place amongst horror fans, but it wasn't like it was some big box office success, nor is it regarded as any kind of masterpiece. The sequels grew worse and never rose beyond direct-to-DVD, so... why? I NEED TO KNOW WHY!? Especially as "Wrong Turn (2021)" did not even need to be called "Wrong Turn". Yes, it's about yuppies getting terrorized by locals deep in the woods, but instead of inbred cannibals, the new antagonists are part of a mysterious society known as 'The Foundation'. It honestly felt like someone sold a spec script, but could only secure financing if it was part of a name brand. 

But as I said, it's still a pretty solid movie. From a technical and artistic standpoint, it is easily a few steps up from the sequels. The cinematography, music and acting are all very good, with the costume and set designs popping out as exceptional. The gore effects are very disturbing too. The acting was really good, sometimes even great. While the pacing was very inconsistent, when "Wrong Turn" was tense, it was really tense. I think its biggest shortcoming is with its characters though. They're not the worst written bunch, but it's as if the filmmakers assumed being progressive with them was enough. 'The foundation' itself was much more interesting, but I don't want to reveal anything more about them. One can argue that "Wrong Turn (2021)" feels kind of like a "Midsommar" rip-off and... well, it's closer to being that than a "Wrong Turn" reboot... but if nothing else, it's f@cking better than it needed to be. Now, even though I think it's 'better' than the sequels, I might prefer the first two entries of this franchise, even if "Wrong Turn 2" is rougher around the edges and the original had a much more basic storyline. "Wrong Turn (2021)" is not necessarily for fans of the franchise, as it changes the formula, but you shouldn't keep away just because you might not like the franchise either. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 18, 2022)

*The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)* is the most recent attempt to revive the franchise, this time borrowing the template from "Halloween (2018)", with the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" survivor herself -- Sally Hardesty (now played by ) -- returning as a disgruntled but highly capable woman who swears to end Leatherface's reign of terror once and for all. Actually, despite that set-up, Sally isn't anywhere near as prevalent or as important as the marketing suggests. The real focus is on a bunch of whogivesaf@cks who stumble onto Leatherface's territory and pisses him off. But is ripping off "Halloween (2018)" enough to make this the rare (and possibly only) good "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" sequel? 

Well... it's certainly better than most of the others. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)" is a pretty dumb, big ole slasher flick and contains pretty much everything good and bad about what you would expect out of such a thing. The kills are f@cking awesome, with so many gruesome and memorable effects. This is probably the most graphic entry in the franchise. I was also really impressed with the cinematography. I hear the director made his debut with an artsier film and while "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)" has no such aspirations; you can certainly see that he has an eye for striking visuals. Old man Leatherface is a mixed bag for me. On one hand, he's quite an imposing figure and the new skin mask is creepy. I also appreciated the attempts at making him into a character, without sacrificing his menace. On the other hand, I really don't care for him having superhuman strength. With Michael and Jason, it was established they could do that kind of stuff in their debuts. But Leatherface was never that kind of monster.

Counter point -- Leatherface snapping a dude's arm in half and stabbing him with his own protruding bone is really f@cking cool.

The script is predictably pretty weak. The characters alternate between unlikable and boring; they do stupid things just so Leatherface has an easier time killing them, etc. But I have to remind you that it is... just a slasher... It's whole reason for existing is to provide crazy kills. The weaknesses in the writing might keep it from being anything more, but the short running-time and lightning fast pacing keep it from being anything less.

2.5/4


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## Velocity (Feb 19, 2022)

Yeah, I watched the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre too. It was basically an hour long, which I'm grateful for, because these characters were abysmal. It was certainly plenty violent and graphic though and it was creative with the kills at times, which is what you watch these movies for... but damn if the characters didn't ruin it for me.

I really do not get why they decided to bring back the sole survivor of the first movie. It feels less like a creative decision and more like a way to cash in on the gimmick that Terminator Dark Fate and Halloween 11 popularised. Like you said she was barely even in it anyway.

Honestly a story idea like this, of a bunch of people moving into a ghost town to rejuvenate it and get dragged into a fight for survival against the locals, would be better suited to a Hills Have Eyes or a Wrong Turn.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 19, 2022)

Velocity said:


> Yeah, I watched the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre too. It was basically an hour long, which I'm grateful for, because these characters were abysmal. It was certainly plenty violent and graphic though and it was creative with the kills at times, which is what you watch these movies for... but damn if the characters didn't ruin it for me.
> 
> I really do not get why they decided to bring back the sole survivor of the first movie. It feels less like a creative decision and more like a way to cash in on the gimmick that Terminator Dark Fate and Halloween 11 popularised. Like you said she was barely even in it anyway.
> 
> Honestly a story idea like this, of a bunch of people moving into a ghost town to rejuvenate it and get dragged into a fight for survival against the locals, would be better suited to a Hills Have Eyes or a Wrong Turn.



Yeah it was pretty cynical in how they brought back Sally. I mean, I get that a trend isn't a trend, but it's not like she was even the original actress. 

I suspect that either the original script had more going on and it was simply cut down before/during production or the movie itself was cut down in post. The whole motivation for restoring the town wasn't really clear and there's some loose storythreads. Like was the one guy lying about having the deed? Or was he just mistaken? Or did the bank f@ck up?


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## Velocity (Feb 20, 2022)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah it was pretty cynical in how they brought back Sally. I mean, I get that a trend isn't a trend, but it's not like she was even the original actress.
> 
> I suspect that either the original script had more going on and it was simply cut down before/during production or the movie itself was cut down in post. The whole motivation for restoring the town wasn't really clear and there's some loose storythreads. Like was the one guy lying about having the deed? Or was he just mistaken? Or did the bank f@ck up?


I feel like there's a good half an hour of setup missing. The movie brushed over the auction, despite it being the whole reason anyone was even there, and it never really touched on the gentrification or the locals' anger over it either. The whole mix up with the deed would've made more sense if it was intentional, because screwing people out of their homes is what these kinds of people do, but it never resolved that.

I assume that it wasn't meant to be a ghost town at first, just one that these "influencers" wanted to turn into a big social media project and with enough potential investors on board the bank basically evicted everyone in the town and gave them a few weeks to leave so they could sell the land for ten times as much to someone else. The main dude would've been in on it, of course, but not his friends and he wouldn't have any problem with it because he just wants to make big waves on social media.

Also the big sis was weird as heck. She was all "we wanna build a town safe from the madness and violence", but they were still in Texas. The only state they'd probably arrest you for *not* carrying a gun and she has bizarre dreams of a gun-free utopia?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 20, 2022)

Velocity said:


> I feel like there's a good half an hour of setup missing. The movie brushed over the auction, despite it being the whole reason anyone was even there, and it never really touched on the gentrification or the locals' anger over it either. The whole mix up with the deed would've made more sense if it was intentional, because screwing people out of their homes is what these kinds of people do, but it never resolved that.
> 
> I assume that it wasn't meant to be a ghost town at first, just one that these "influencers" wanted to turn into a big social media project and with enough potential investors on board the bank basically evicted everyone in the town and gave them a few weeks to leave so they could sell the land for ten times as much to someone else. The main dude would've been in on it, of course, but not his friends and he wouldn't have any problem with it because he just wants to make big waves on social media.
> 
> Also the big sis was weird as heck. She was all "we wanna build a town safe from the madness and violence", but they were still in Texas. The only state they'd probably arrest you for *not* carrying a gun and she has bizarre dreams of a gun-free utopia?



Yeah the sister really made no sense. Like, the gas station just outside of town was selling merchandise based off a real-life massacre. Not the best start for building a utopia lol.


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## Velocity (Feb 20, 2022)

MartialHorror said:


> Yeah the sister really made no sense. Like, the gas station just outside of town was selling merchandise based off a real-life massacre. Not the best start for building a utopia lol.


What was up with that anyway? Since when did Leatherface become a tourist attraction?


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## MartialHorror (Feb 20, 2022)

Velocity said:


> What was up with that anyway? Since when did Leatherface become a tourist attraction?



Yeah, that was an odd one that really served no purpose, beyond providing that chainsaw key chain.


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## MartialHorror (Feb 22, 2022)

*Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) *is one of those trendy 'legacy sequels' or 'requels' (part reboot; part sequel) that seems to be all the rage these days. I was somewhat underwhelmed by the marketing campaign, so I chose to play it safe and wait until this was available on home video. "Afterlife" isn't bad at all, definitely being an improvement upon the 2016 remake, although I'd still put it beneath the first two entries. I've grown quite cynical of films that use nostalgia as a crutch and while they do change the ages of the characters and the setting, "Afterlife" has almost the exact same plot as the original. Throughout my viewing experience, I was wondering why I was being a little underwhelmed. I was digging the new cast, who were all quite funny and charming. The old cast -- I doubt this is considered a spoiler anymore- also show up for the climax and it's great seeing them again... although with that said, they're in it just enough to steal the thunder from the new characters, but not enough to really satisfy fans who just checked in for a reunion. The story, while unoriginal, was still structured in a competent way and the cinematography is shockingly good, considering how restrained the visual effects were. The only real objective flaw I had was J.K Simmons's character, as I don't know if he was really necessary. His abrupt entrance and exit left me going "Huh?" before I could even process his presence. But since it goes by so quickly, I didn't care that much. 

So... why was I underwhelmed? Was it just that it rehashed the storyline?

I eventually came to the conclusion that the problem with "Afterlife" was not its reliance on nostalgia, but that it lacked any major or memorable set pieces. The mid-story car chase was fun, but the first movie had a Godzilla-sized Marshmallow man and the second had a walking statue of liberty and even the 2016 movie had a bunch of high concept effects. The climax here was pretty much the original film without the pizazz. This is probably because of the budget, which was surprisingly modest for a blockbuster. But it also means that its reliance on nostalgia stands out more. The little marshmallow men are cute, but don't really make a lot of sense considering the origins of their gigantic predecessor and it's just that combination of 'too similar' and 'not as cool'. But still, "Ghostbusters: Afterlife" is fine. It's inoffensive, competently made and was pretty funny.

2.5/4 

*Antlers (2021)* is one of those frustrating experiences where you have a movie that's really good, so close to even being great, only to misstep just enough that you almost wish the movie was worse -- just so the disappointment would lessen. Produced by Guillermo del Toro and directed by Scott Cooper ("Hostiles", "Black Mass"), "Antlers" has a mostly simple story. A teacher suspects that a student is being abused, but the truth is... er... on the supernatural side. We've seen this many times before, but the execution here is much rawer and more disturbing. The violence is bone chilling... and also bone crunching... without feeling gratuitous. The special effects are really good, when you see "what" the adversary is. Keri Russell and Jesse Plemons lead out the cast, but the performances are all very good. There's also plenty of tension, atmosphere and thrills. But "Antlers" seems to want to be part of this elevated horror trend, but can't quite commit to it. There are themes of abuse, but there's no real pay-off to the heroines troubled backstory or her awkward relationship with her brother. I'm not even sure what the correlation between abuse and the monster was supposed to be. But I'd still champion "Antlers" as a solid, sometimes even exceptional horror flick, even if it's not a particularly deep one.

3/4 

*Becky (2020)* is known as that movie where Kevin James pulls off a rare turn in a serious role, playing the leader of a gang of Neo Nazis who lay siege on a lakehouse. Unfortunately for them, it belongs to the family of Becky (Lulu Wilson), who may or may not be psychotic. Kevin James is surprisingly good, but beyond his presence, "Becky" is just a serviceable thriller... with some admittedly gruesome kills. I think the problem is that I feel like I've seen "Home Alone" gone horror too many times now, so the novelty of seeing a deranged child dismantling vile villains has worn off. I also found Becky to be straight up unlikable, although it is satisfying watching her wreck shit up. 

2.5/4 

*Monster Squad (1987)* can be described as "The Goonies", except with a gang of children taking on iconic monsters, such as Dracula and the Wolf-man. I'm shocked I've never seen this movie, as it's pretty much embodied everything I loved as a child... but at least I can take solace that I now can love it as an adult. "Monster Squad" is hilarious, with some great quotable lines and great reactions. The movie moves at a fast pace and even though it's a comedy, much like "The Goonies", it also works as a thriller. Stan Winston's makeup effects are top notch and the story isn't afraid to put the kids in danger. The movie is definitely not politically correct though, with a few moments that will make modern audiences cringe. But overall, I thought this was a very charming and entertaining experience.

3.5/4 

*Grizzly II: Revenge (2020) *is a miraculous experience... albeit not a particularly pleasant one. Filmed in Hungary all the way back in 1983, production was halted when one of the producers ran afoul of the Hungarian Government, who seized most of the equipment. The special effects couldn't be completed and the filmmakers couldn't raise any more funds, resulting in "Grizzy II" being unfinished. What made this tale even stranger is that not only did it have a pretty impressive cast, which includes Louise Fletcher and John Rhys-Davies, but George Clooney, Charlie Sheen and Laura Dern made their film debuts here, in the same scene together. I also noticed Timothy Spall in bit part. 

Yet for years, there was a debate as to whether this even existed! 

I remember hearing about "Grizzly II" when it was regarded as somewhat of an urban legend and it was fascinating scouring the web, trying to find any information about the project. The rumors were always intriguing, and I even recall a few websites claiming they had proof it was a hoax. This came to an end in 2007, when a rough workprint was leaked online, proving its existence. I tried to watch it, but admittedly lost interest because the rumors were all true... there were no real bear effects footage. I laughed out loud when Charlie Sheen met his end, as it looks like he's just running from a cameraman. The finale was especially bizarre, as it's just a bunch of incomplete special effects shots, without a semblance of narrative. I don't fault the movie for me being confused and bored though. It just wasn't finished, and I was happy that my curiosity was satisfied. I was stunned to learn that over 31 years later, they would actually finish "Grizzly II" and give it an official release date. 

So were we deprived of a masterpiece? Lol, f@ck no. As far as I'm concerned, the completed cut of "Grizzly II" still feels pretty incomplete. I still can't really fault the movie though, as its existence in spite of everything stacked against it is an amazing achievement that transcends its actual quality. Suzanne C. Nagy, who was a producer but not the one who scammed everyone out of money, is truly what legends are made out of. I have nothing but respect for her, even if the movie still sucks. Had it been completed, it would've been another "Jaws" rip-off, except with Grizzly bears... even though the first "Grizzly" was already that. The acting is OK, even if the dialogue leaves much to be desired. Despite getting top billing, Clooney, Dern and Sheen don't last beyond the first five minutes. The new effects, which include CGI and stock footage, aren't just terrible. They're very modern, standing out like a sore thumb amidst all of the 1980's footage. Once again, I am not going to blame the movie for this, as what else could they have done? If anything, it made it much more amusing. Everything does feel underdeveloped and rushed though, even though it also is dependent on filler. There is some bafflingly bad ADR work and a few attack scenes go so fast... because once again, the bear scenes were unfinished and CGI can only take you so far... that I couldn't even tell what had happened. The finale still somehow feels like an incomprehensible mess and... Jesus, those concert scenes were tedious. 

But I'm glad I watched it. "Grizzly II" has such a fascinating behind-the-scenes story that I didn't even mind that it was bad. For that reason, I'm not going to rate it.


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## Velocity (Feb 24, 2022)

*Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (2000)*

So I didn't know this even existed until a few days ago, it being a parody of horror movies along the same lines as Scary Movie (which came out a few months before this one did).

Weirdly enough it uses a lot of the same jokes. Like *a lot*. I get that both movies were parodying the same genre but I watched Scary Movie again to compare the two and it's jarring how often the two movies use the exact same jokes, although Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th really didn't pull them off anywhere near as well. The cast wasn't as good, either, with nobody standing out as well as Anna Faris or Regina Hall, although it *was* funny to see that Simon Rex would go on to star in Scary Movie 3 and 4.

In the end, the only things this movie did better than Scary Movie is the opening (the Jason mask melting into the Scream mask and the table gag were great) and the ending (there was a Top of the Pops style infographic during the climax with all sorts of pointless and random trivia that was pretty funny). Other than that it's clear to see why Scary Movie got sequels and this franchise did not.

1/4


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## MartialHorror (Feb 24, 2022)

Velocity said:


> *Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (2000)*
> 
> So I didn't know this even existed until a few days ago, it being a parody of horror movies along the same lines as Scary Movie (which came out a few months before this one did).
> 
> ...



I actually saw the movie when it first premiered. I believe it was a made-for-TV movie. Even back then, in my juvenile days, I thought it was pretty lame.

Yet somehow, I still remember that running "Boner"/"It's Bonner"/"Not today it isn't" gag... even though it was also lame and annoying.


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## MartialHorror (Mar 5, 2022)

*The Batman (2022) *is not going to be for everyone, as it's so stylistically and tonally different from all of its cinematic incarnations. The rating might be PG-13, but make no mistake, this is a bleak serial killer thriller masquerading as a superhero flick. The lengthy running time and deliberate pacing might also alienate audiences too, as I would describe "The Batman" as more suspenseful than exciting. There are some really cool set pieces, this is not an action packed movie. The score is more atmospheric than epic and the sound design was more subdued here than in the trailer. I watched this with my Dad, who didn't like this very much. He thought it was too slow and never really came to life, while I saw it as a nerve-wracking, nail-biting murder mystery... with costumed heroes and villains. I loved the new approach, as to be honest, I'm growing a little tired of comic book movies (especially Batman), so currently favor the ones that try something different. But I completely understand why many will dismiss "The Batman" as boring.

I loved how the presentation of the flick is reminiscent of a horror flick. It's been common knowledge that this incarnation of the Riddler (Paul Dano; who is creepy in his limited screen-time) drew inspiration of the zodiac, but some of his kills reminded me a lot of "Saw". But even our hero, Batman himself is strangely creepy, as the perspective of many scenes are on the villains. The various shots of shadows are ominous and the introduction of the Batmobile was awesome. As I said, the score is atmospheric and adds an ominous pulsing that kept me on edge -- although it rises to an awesome crescendo during the bigger action scenes. The fight choreography is really good, although I still think the sound mixing made them feel more impactful in the trailers. The cinematography is amazing, arguably the best of the franchise and does a great job at making Gotham itself feel like a character. The casting is perfect. I was somewhat surprised when they cast Robert Pattinson in the role, although I wasn't really skeptical as I'd long since realized he was so much more than "Twilight", but he plays the role as unhinged and it works. Many have complained that his 'Bruce Wayne' isn't as good, but I didn't mind as I just don't see where that persona would fit within the story. Zoë Kravitz is a great Catwoman and Colin Farrell is unrecognizable as Penguin. But everyone is great and makes their roles stand out, whether it's Jeffrey Wright as Gordon or John Turturro as Falcone -- the first time I've seen the latter in a dramatic role for awhile. "The Batman" also has a strong story, with an engaging mystery that juggles all its pieces pretty seamlessly. The development of Batman himself was also effective and gives him a different kind of origins story, even though he's been a vigilante for awhile. Not everyone agrees with this, but I never found the story to be overcluttered or under developed.

But I do have some minor complaints. There are a few comic book trappings, where characters survive explosions to the face, etc. I didn't mind the running-time, but did grow a little impatient with the ending. There is a sequel hook that many liked, but I thought reminded me way too much of that "Gotham" TV series. But I still found "The Batman" to be an exceptional film and even if it ends up not being your cup of tea, you'll probably concede that it's at least an exceptionally well made film. Is it my personal favorite? No, "The Dark Knight" still holds that title, but this might be my second.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 12, 2022)

*Last Night in Soho (2021)* is from director Edgar Wright ("Shaun of the Dead"), but is much darker and more serious than the bulk of his work. I'd describe this as "Mulholland Drive" mixed with the stylings of Dario Argento. It's definitely a mind screw, and is awash with plenty of garish colors. The story surrounds Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie), an aspiring fashion designer with a history of mental illness moving to London to study. She starts having vivid dreams about an aspiring singer named Sandie (Anya Taylor-Joy), who attempted to navigate the waters of the 1960's London. As the dreams become violent, Ellie's grasp on her sanity begins to slip... Or are they more than just dreams? I thought "Last Night in Soho" was good, but not quite great. Besides being stylish, the protagonists are sympathetic, the acting is great and the soundtrack was amazing. I did find the story compelling, but "Last Night in Soho" seems longer than it needs to be and I thought the spectres weren't particularly scary. It also might've reminded me of "Mulholland Drive" a little too much, although the narrative is easier to follow and a little more accessible to mainstream audiences. I'd still say comedy is Edgar Wright's strength, but "Last Night in Soho" shows he's not just a comedic talent and I'd certainly be interested in seeing more dramatic works from him.

3/4 

I remember the media blitz surrounding* Starship Troopers (1997)* when it was first released and I desperately wanted to watch it, although I had to wait until it was out on video because my parents refused to take me. I thought it was awesome at the time, not realizing that it flopped with both critics and audiences. Directed by Paul Verhoeven, critics weren't sure what to make of this. Was it bad? Or was it meant to be bad? As a kid, I just thought the movie was cool. The bug designs were imaginative, the effects were cutting edge, the gore was hardcore and the costumes/weaponry made me want to enlist in the military myself. 

And maybe that was the problem? 

The story is simple. Bug aliens attack Earth. We strike back, following a roughneck group of commandoes. But this is supposed to be satirical. Verhoeven is lampooning fascist iconography, drawing just as much inspirations from propaganda like "Triumph of the Will" as he does from science fiction classics like "Aliens". But it might be too high brow for its target audience, young adults or teenagers, who are more likely going to miss the point or worse... maybe even start to think fascism is kind of bad-ass. I know you're thinking -- "It's rated R, not for younger audiences", but I say tell that to all the toys they sold to my demographic! Back then, rated-R movies were often commercialized for kids. But is this an age thing? The movie had mixed to negative reviews upon release and failed to connect to the masses. Perhaps western audiences were unamused by the satire, as at least in America, we're much more military friendly. Or maybe the satire wasn't enough to cover the wooden acting and bland characterizations. Or maybe the movie was just not that good? I don't know, but I do know that the message just didn't land at the time. But in the age of the internet, where there are many essays and re-evaluations, the target audience has changed. We're savvier and more skeptical of our Governments, so are more receptive to the message. Maybe "Starship Troopers" was only bad within the context of 1997, but is brilliant in 2022? I don't know. This is just me thinking out loud... on the computer... 

But I do know that "Starship Troopers" is still kind of awesome. I was genuinely impressed with how well the special effects have aged. The action is exciting and even if they arguably confuse the political message, the costumes, sets and creature designs are top notch. The sound mixing is really good too. I don't think "Starship Troopers" is great. I think it's a good action film, mostly for the action itself. But when you look beyond the surface, it's... complicated... 

3/4 

*Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)* is a direct-to-video sequel, so you know it's going to be a good one... right? RIGHT!? I actually do remember watching this upon its televised release, but I thought it was pretty dull. Even back then, I saw it for what it was -- a cheaply made cash grab. But do you know what? I've grown to kind of appreciate this sequel. I've actually began to appreciate all of those low budgeted sequels to big budgeted blockbusters that flooded the market throughout the late 1990's/early 2000's, as this was before CGI become more readily available to B-movie productions. Back then, the filmmakers had to be creative with their limited funds. Nowadays, it doesn't cost a lot of money or effort to mass produce shitty computer graphics, so why be creative? Throw in some bad acting and you can say they're intentionally bad. I hate that kind of crap, so "Hero of the Federation" reminded me of happier times. 

Not that any of this makes "Hero of the Federation" good. It just makes it... better than it would be if it were made today?

The director, realizing that he only had about 5% of the first films budget, decided to trade out action for horror, drawing inspiration from "Alien" and "The Thing". A mobile infantry unit, still in their war with the arachnids, finds themselves trapped in an outpost... where the bugs have figured out ways of taking human hosts. So that's a pretty interesting way of working around the limited funs, although I think it would've been more effective if the audience didn't know who was infected. There was some arachnid action, but they just re-use models and graphics from the first film. They're not seamlessly woven into the new footage, but the stitches aren't necessarily obvious either. The new effects aren't bad, although I'm grading on a curve. There was even one really good gross-out moment, although f@ck me, the costumes and robotic appendages looked cheaper than the bugs. 

There isn't really much else to talk about. The characters are mostly cliched, sometimes annoying. The acting isn't great, although it's not terrible either. The writing is subpar, the tension is minimal and the satirical element is unearned, only showing its face at the very end. "Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation" could've been worse. I admire that the filmmakers did what they could with what little they had, but it's pretty disposable. 

2/4 

*Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008) *brings back Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) to the franchise, which was apparently enough to beef up the budget... a little bit... This is still a direct-to-DVD sequel, so it's best to keep expectations mild. Very mild. Tonally and stylistically, "Marauder" is much closer to the first film. It's once again a cutting satire of fascism and jingoism, but the execution is somewhat of a mixed bag. The first film was funnier about it, while the humor here was pretty groan inducing. On the other hand, it's more openly derisive of militant right-wing ideologies, making the satire more obvious. I doubt anyone will watch this and think fascism is cool. Even kids. 

The real problem with "Marauder" is simply that it's too low budgeted to leave an impact as an action film. There is a lot more CGI than its predecessor and most of it looks pretty terrible, although there are a few decent practical effects and that... God bug thing... was kind of cool. The strange thing about this new batch of characters is that you don't really know if you're supposed to like most of them or not. They're all prone to dickish behaviors, but just when you start to dismiss them as assholes, they'll show a softer side or vice versa... and yet none of them are particularly interesting or well written... and the acting isn't all that great either... "Starship Troopers 3" definitely feels more like a "Starship Troopers" sequel than the second one, but it is... well... a direct-to-DVD sequel to a big budgeted blockbuster. You can only do so much with so little, which is probably why subsequent entries would be animated. Once again though, I do appreciate the effort. This definitely could've been a lot worse.

2/4 

*Arang (2006) *is a South Korean flick that's technically a police procedural, stylized after a J-horror flick. This was a strange one, as I wouldn't say it made for a great thriller or mystery, although I ended up really enjoying it anyway. The problem is that as a "J"-horror movie, it's just too cliched. We've seen all these kinds of scares before and often know how a scene will end in detail, even before it starts. This isn't to say that it's devoid of atmosphere, but it's a little underwhelming in that regard. As a police procedural, the movie fares better, but... another Asian horror flick borrowed so many of the same beats that it's pretty easy to solve the mystery early on. This isn't the fault of "Arang", but I can't help it if I saw the other one first. Yet I found the characters to be really charming and there are a few really powerful scenes thanks to the acting. I loved watching our two lead detectives interact and was moved by their arcs. They kept me entertained, even if the genre related stuff was pretty routine. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 21, 2022)

*Piranha (1978)* was another childhood favorite of mine, due to it being developed in the wake of "Jaws", my actual favorite movie of all time....and also being pretty damn good itself. Directed by a young Joe Dante, "Piranha" is often described as a parody of "Jaws", although outside of one reference, I don't really see it. This definitely has a lot more humor than most 'nature runs amok' flicks of its era though and it's quite hilarious, but "Piranha" is armed to the teeth in thrills. The attacks always left me cringing in how brutal they were, especially when the victims were often kids. The sound design is menacing and the score by Pino Donoggio makes all this mayhem seem kind of classy. He was definitely prone to composing scores that were often better than the movies themselves. "Piranha" is probably the best of the "Jaws" 'clones', if it's even fair to call it that. It's so good that when Universal Studios considered filing an injunction against it for the similarities to "Jaws", they changed their minds because Steven Spielberg liked it so much.  

3.5/4  

*Razorback (1984)* is a pretty cool creature feature from Australia, about a giant boar going around and killing people. The animatronics used to bring the beastie alive were shockingly good, but it's arguably surpassed by the striking cinematography, which not only milks the desolate landscapes for all their worth, but adds plenty of artistic flourishes to them that gives a variety to the visuals. They're both gorgeous and eerie. The characters have some personality to them and "Razorback" is definitely bold when it comes to the kill count. There are also some wild (reckless) stunts, as befitting Ozzie cinema at the time. The pacing is a little choppy, but "Razorback" was a mostly intense thrill ride. 

3/5

*The Gorgon (1964) *is a stellar, if somewhat unexceptional, Hammer horror production. Directed by Terence Fisher and starring both Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, this one is a play off the Gorgon myth, where the inhabitants of a village are plagued with a series of murders, with the victims being turned into stone. Avoid the official plot descriptions if you can, as the streaming service I watched this on outright spoils who the 'killer' is. Beyond the different menace, "The Gorgon" is pretty much what you'd expect. It's set in the unusual time period, stars the usual cast, has the usual spooky settings and relies perhaps a bit too much on an unconvincing romance.  The acting is good and it's interesting to see Cushing play an antagonist and Lee a protagonist for once. There's some good atmosphere and elegant direction, but "The Gorgon" does feel kind of routine. I enjoyed it, but doubt I'll remember it.

2.5/4

*The 8th Night (2021) *is a South Korean... fantasy-horror, I think... that was distributed by netflix. Cheong-seuk () is a young monk who has taken a vow of silence. He gets drawn into an ancient battle of 'good vs evil', which is admittedly an over-simplification, but the story isn't really easy to explain... Nor is its genre. I have no idea how to categorize this. The presentation is reminiscent of a horror flick, with some freaky visuals and a few ominous chords, but I don't think it ever really crossed the line into the genre. Every time something scary is going to happen, it cuts away and it never lingers enough on the build-up to be particularly suspenseful or spooky. It certainly has the lore of a fantasy, but if that's the case, it's very low key as such. There isn't a lot of action or visual effects. The narrative is partially framed as a mystery and there are some good twists, but still... it's not really that either. I don't even know why the detective subplot was there, as they spend the majority of the story trying to figure out what the audience already knows... and then that thread is tied up in a very unsatisfying way. There is a good dramatic story in here, involving themes like forgiveness and finding inner peace, but I can't tell you what kind of movie "The 8th Night" is. It's a little of everything. Handsomely produced and not without heart, but disjointed and without a definitive target audience.

2.5/4   

*The Keep (1983) *is an adaptation of a F. Paul Wilson novel of the same name, directed by Michael Mann and boasting... a somewhat bizarre behind-the-scenes story. The production was apparently very troubled, climaxing when the special effects supervisor died before finishing, without any of the crew knowing how he planned on completing the visual effects scenes -- this obviously being before CGI would simplify things. The filmmakers had to cobble together a rushed, unsatisfying ending... and that was before the studio cut down the running-time by more than half. Admittedly, "The Keep" probably should not have been 210 minutes long to begin with, but the edits left many wide gaps within the narrative. It was given a limited release, failed with both audiences and critics... and then kind of vanished from circulation. The VHS copies ran out of print and it didn't get a DVD release until 2020, meaning that for a long stretch of time "The Keep" was really difficult to get a hold of. 

I actually read the book and really liked it, even if aspects of it were very frustrating. The story is set during World War 2, where a battalion of German soldiers are tasked with watching over a spooky keep. An evil is awakened that hunts down their ranks, forcing them to enlist the help of a Jewish professor. The book does a great job at building up a sense of dread. It's very atmospheric and suspenseful. F. Paul Wilson is a master at describing the characters fear, which is contagious for the reader. The characters are interesting too and I loved the tensions between the Nazi and German officers, heightened with the arrival of Jewish characters who might be their only hope. However, I felt like a lot of its power was lost when a traditional hero arrives in the form of Glenn, who's a little dull compared to everyone, shoehorns in an underdeveloped romance that is supposed to be something deeper and... changes the genre from horror to fantasy during the finale. None of this is necessarily poorly written, but it feels cheap that he hijacks the story when he spent so much of it away from the danger. I'm assuming these creative decisions were because "The Keep" is the start of what is called the 'Adversary' franchise, but sometimes... I don't to invest in a f@cking franchise!  

But that's the book, what about the movie? This adaptation has all the flaws I just mentioned from the source and makes them worse by cutting out so much material that little of anything makes sense. This has a great cast, which includes Scott Glenn, Ian McKellen, Jürgen Prochnow and Gabriel Byrne, but I can't say the performances were all that great because the dialogue is wooden and yet the acting is over-the-top. They do sort of help the movie in a roundabout way though, because if "The Keep" has anything going for it... It's odd... The soundtrack has some moody, dreamlike vibes and Michael Mann's direction pushes the film into further surrealism. The visual effects aren't always good, but they are always trippy.  There are a few genuinely solid moments, especially when they lean into the abstract and spooky nature of the setting. It's not consistent enough though and if you haven't read the book, you'll probably be confused as to what ub the hell is happening. "The Keep" is definitely closer to being bad than good, but it is strange enough to be worthy of a cult following. 

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Mar 25, 2022)

*X (2022) *from director Ti West is set during 1979, about a handful of young folks trying to make a porno at a farm in Texas, only to find that the homeowners don't take too kindly to their 'perverse ways'. Considering how solacious the concept is, "X" received critical acclaim and... I think it's pretty good? Ti West is a highly talented filmmaker, who not only has an eye for arresting visuals, he also knows how to create a sense of unease using unconventional methods. The stylistic choices were odd at times, but they usually worked and "X" even had enough compelling themes to categorize it as 'elevated horror'... Yes, this means the pacing was slow, but the tension was certainly high. The cast is really good, with Mia Goth excelling in dual roles. The kills are also gruesome and impactful too.

But throughout my viewing experience, I felt like something was missing. I eventually realized that the movie was just a little too neutral on their behaviors. I don't have any issue with their views on sex, but they just came off as self-centered and kind of unpleasant. They're not necessarily presented as terrible people and I did not root for their deaths, but I could also care less whether they survived. So even though I did admire "X" from a technical level, it just didn't engage me on an emotional level...

3/4


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## reiatsuflow (Apr 16, 2022)

I was impressed with X too. I've seen a lot from ti west here and there and wasn't into his other efforts, this was probably the best one for me so far.



MartialHorror said:


> But throughout my viewing experience, I felt like something was missing. I eventually realized that the movie was just a little too neutral on their behaviors. I don't have any issue with their views on sex, but they just came off as self-centered and kind of unpleasant. They're not necessarily presented as terrible people and I did not root for their deaths, but I could also care less whether they survived. So even though I did admire "X" from a technical level, it just didn't engage me on an emotional level...
> 
> 3/4



I think the gag was to have a group of horny victims terrorized by equally horny villains. You're expecting the villains to be prudes or conservative or from some antagonistic culture to the sexed up young people and then it turns out the villains are also sexed up, just in a much more dangerous way. I think the development was more about adding color to that weird tonal anticlimax than it was traditional character development.


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## MartialHorror (Apr 17, 2022)

reiatsuflow said:


> I was impressed with X too. I've seen a lot from ti west here and there and wasn't into his other efforts, this was probably the best one for me so far.
> 
> 
> 
> I think the gag was to have a group of horny victims terrorized by equally horny villains. You're expecting the villains to be prudes or conservative or from some antagonistic culture to the sexed up young people and then it turns out the villains are also sexed up, just in a much more dangerous way. I think the development was more about adding color to that weird tonal anticlimax than it was traditional character development.



You know, it's funny. I had actually forgotten a lot of Ti West's stuff. 

Like "In the Valley of Violence". I know I saw it, I think I liked it, but I can't remember it at all. Same with "The Sacrament".


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## MartialHorror (May 15, 2022)

I'm a little late to the* Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) *party because I currently have limited access to the internet, so don't expect my usual refined prose (haha) because I'm on my phone.

This was another fun MCU flick, even though it left me a little worried for the future of the franchise. First, the good. When Sam Raimi was hired, I figured they hired the Raimi of "Spider-Man", one of the most acclaimed comic book adaptations to date. But instead, we got... the Raimi of "Evil Dead", which was so much more f@cking awesome. You'll recognize all of his flourishes and horror trappings. The villain even occasionally channels their inner deadite and sometimes... it's even kind of scary. I was taken aback by how gruesome this was. With a few seriously shocking moments. The action scenes were also quite inventive and the effects are good. The cast was good too. But this has become the norm for the MCU.

"Doctor Strange 2" also takes some serious risks, but... even though my lack of internet keeps me from confirming this... I suspect a "The Last Jedi" backlash is coming. Some characters take paths that feel at odds with their overarching development and while the villain cuts an imposing figure, you can make an argument that it's an example of character assassination. I myself am mixed, as their scenes of villainy are thrilling, but their descent into evil felt rushed.

But as I've said, while I had fun with it, I do worry that the MCU is sacrificing story for fanservice pops. "Spider-Man No Way Home" made the crossover stuff work, but are we going to use that for every movie? The last two movies felt a little more like events than actual movies, which used to only be reserved for "The Avengers". Still, it's a concern for the future. Right now, I'm still entertained.

3/4


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## Velocity (May 15, 2022)

MartialHorror said:


> I suspect a "The Last Jedi" backlash is coming. Some characters take paths that feel at odds with their overarching development and while the villain cuts an imposing figure, you can make an argument that it's an example of character assassination.


I don't think it's quite _that_ egregious.


Wanda began messing around with the Darkhold almost immediately after WandaVision and we saw her hear her sons. Then we find out she has nightmares where she still has her family, only to be told later on in the movie that dreams are windows into the lives of other versions of yourself in the multiverse.

That means Wanda has been dreaming of those children, of her family, for the past _twelve years_. The Billy and Tommy she created in the Hex would have been based off the children other versions of Wanda have across the multiverse. So when she tells Thanos that he has taken everything from her, she doesn't just mean Vision but the family they would have had together. The family she sees every night. The family she believes she will now never be able to have.

You take that pain and you take the Darkhold's corrupting influence and you have a recipe for disaster. We saw what the Darkhold did to others and Wanda had that thing for about two years. Her morality being warped and twisted to the point where she'd willingly kill anyone to reunite with her sons isn't that surprising.

If you ask me I think Wanda was clearly being manipulated by the Darkhold, if not Chthon itself, because she could have just used the Hex she created to get her sons back. It would have been just like she did WandaVision again, except there would have been nobody around to get caught in it.

How did Wanda even find out about America Chavez anyway? Unless Chthon wanted her to take her power for herself so that she could maybe free Chthon or something?


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2022)

Velocity said:


> I don't think it's quite _that_ egregious.
> 
> 
> Wanda began messing around with the Darkhold almost immediately after WandaVision and we saw her hear her sons. Then we find out she has nightmares where she still has her family, only to be told later on in the movie that dreams are windows into the lives of other versions of yourself in the multiverse.
> ...



I thought it was still rushed myself, and at odds with her development in "Wandavision" -- even with the Darkhold teaser.

It should be noted that I myself am a defender of "The Last Jedi" too. I only draw comparisons because I think her development will piss people off.


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## MartialHorror (May 19, 2022)

*The Forever Purge (2021)* is the latest entry within the "Purge" franchise, where 'the purge' -- where crime becomes legal for a single night a year -- is revived to deal with the immigration problem. Things spiral out of control when white supremist marauders decide to keep the purge going and inspire mass riots all throughout the country. I've never really warmed up to this franchise, as their appropriation of political agendas feels kind of exploitative to me. I do want to make this absolutely clear -- I have no problem with the politics themselves and I consider the "why does everything have to be political these days?" discourse to be rooted in fallacies. Cinema has always been very political, it's just that the agendas of yesterday are taken for granted today. But the "Purge" film series never felt sincere to me in their messages. It always seemed like the politics were a marketing gimmick, with the movies themselves having very little of substance to say. 
Not helped by most of them being mediocre.  

But I have to admit... I enjoyed "The Forever Purge". Now don't get me wrong, I didn't think this was a thought-provoking experience. It deals with themes like racism in a very simplistic way, but unlike the others, the politics were woven seamlessly within the story. So if nothing else, I'm not as cynical as to its intentions. Beyond that, "The Forever Purge" is a fast paced, bloody action-horror, with some surprisingly ambitious set pieces. The costume design continues to be on point, with plenty of new and memorable purger masks -- the one thing I've consistently appreciated about these movies. There's also a pretty stellar cast here. Is "The Forever Purge" a great movie? No. The dialogue can be pretty bad at times. You're also expected to buy that the U.S Army could potentially be overthrown by people who probably spend 359 days a year whining about woke stuff on twitter. But it was entertaining. 

2.5/4

*The Bunker (2001)* is a British World War II psychological chiller where the survivors of a German platoon hole up in a bunker -- where 'something' lurks. "The Bunker" makes the most of its low budget, keeping the sets shadowy and keeping the performances front and center. There are a lot of recognizable faces here, even though they'd yet to become particularly recognizable. Armed with sharp dialogue, each of them is given at least a few moments to shine. One monologue is arguably even creepier than the supernatural stuff. There is some spooky imagery too, with the pacing never moving too slowly or too quickly. The problem with "The Bunker" is the problem you'd expect from any British movie about German soldiers... said German soldiers sound suspiciously British... But if you can suspend your disbelief, "The Bunker" was pretty good.

3/4 

*Angel Heart (1987)* was a pretty interesting experience, as it has the script of a retro film noir, but the stylings of horror. Mickey Rourke plays your usual scruffy private eye, who is hired by a mysterious businessman (Robert De Niro) to track down someone who owes him a debt. The case takes him down to Louisianna, where he encounters what appears to be a voodoo-themed conspiracy. Or is it? The cast is in fine form, playing compelling characters and bantering with snappy dialogue. The setting gives plenty of opportunity for tension and beauty, with the horror trappings providing another layer of unease. The mystery is engaging, with a final twist that you will think is either brilliant or ludicrous. I liked it... sort of... I like the idea of it, but the execution of it was kind of dopey. I think the problem is that the final stretch was way too rushed, so the audience simply lacks the time to digest the new information before... the twist happens... It doesn't help that the last shot (baby) was kind of hilarious. But up until that point, I really enjoyed myself and even at that point... It was at least an interesting try at something different...

3/4 

*Godzilla Vs Hedorah (1971)* might be the most divisive entry within the franchise, with many making fair arguments as to why it's one of the best of the series, or why it's one of the worst. Good or bad, it definitely is weird. A mysterious monster known as Hedorah emerges from the Ocean, seemingly created from pollution. It's up to Godzilla (and humanity) to stop it. I remember this movie by its English title, "Godzilla Vs the Smog Monster" and did like it as a kid. But I never was able to entirely warm up to it as an adult. I certainly can see its cult appeal. Director Yoshimitsu Banno made a lot of... interesting... creative decisions, which you'll either consider to be a breath of fresh or a desecration of the Godzilla franchise. His visual style skews more towards the psychedelic, sometimes being gratuitously trippy. The musical cues are strange and while the score is probably the most derided part of the film, I didn't mind it. I also never minded the heavy-handed message, as this was made for kids... right? It's hard to say, as "Godzilla Vs Hedorah" is much darker than its contemporaries. Humans are shown being explicitly killed in gruesome ways and it's quite disturbing -- no wonder I loved this as a kid.

My problem with "Godzilla Vs Hedorah" is just that it's kind of boring. Whenever Godzilla and Hedorah face off, half of the action seems to be just them trading insults. This has its charm and is a big reason why the franchise has endured for so long, as these monsters have personalities. But it eventually gets old and when they finally throw down, their movements are sluggish. Perhaps this was another stylistic choice, to emphasize their scale. Or maybe Banno was working with a smaller budget and a shorter shooting schedule, but I often grew impatient. It doesn't help that apparently the Godzilla suit was in poor condition and the Hedorah suit seemed overdesigned to the point of having limited mobility. To the filmmaker's credit, they did cover up the deterioration of the Godzilla suit surprisingly well. Hedorah looks creepy and his scatological attacks are suitably disgusting. I think he's a bit overrated as far as villains go. He's memorable, but I struggle dissociating the monster with the slow paced action. Strangely -- I don't have this issue with Gigan, even though he appeared in much worse films.

"Godzilla Vs Hedorah" will either work on you or it won't. It's different and strange, which I appreciate, but it's not amongst my personal favorite entries within the franchise.

2/4

*Skylines (2020)* is the third entry in the "Skyline" trilogy... Yes, "Skyline (2010)" had sequels... Don't remember the first one? I don't think any of us truly do. It wasn't very good, but it did have above average special effects for a below average budgeted feature. "Beyond Skyline" wasn't necessarily any better, but it was significantly cooler in how bonkers it was, with some surprising story developments and the cast of "The Raid" showing up to engage in kung fu brawls with aliens. F@ck yeah!

This newest entry lacks Iko Uwais, but Yayan Ruhian has a small role to perform martial arts with f@cking alien appendages for hands. Awesome. Frank Grillo is also absent, but Lindsey Morgan returns as Rose, the human-alien hybrid who can change the tides of the war. She and an assortment of soldiers and hybrids must travel to the alien home world to stop a... pandemic... or some shit. There were a lot of gaps within the narrative, as if some important scenes were left on the editing room floor, making the plot a little difficult to describe.

"Skylines" isn't quite as fun as "Beyond Skyline", as there are less martial arts and the story doesn't take as many strange turns, but it still sports some decent entertainment value. The choreography is still good and I'll never get enough of seeing humanity combat aliens with kung fu (Silat, technically) -- especially when the first film tried to make the aliens scary. The cast is also enjoying themselves, sometimes a little too much. The visual effects aren't... terrible for a direct-to-DVD movie... but they aren't really good either. I don't know how to grade them, as I'm not sure what the budget was.

I'd only recommend "Skylines" if you liked "Beyond Skyline", which I'd personally recommend if even if you did not like "Skyline".

2/4


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## MartialHorror (May 24, 2022)

Nia DaCosta's *Candyman (2021)* was marketed as a reboot of "Candyman", although it reveals pretty early on that it's a legacy sequel and for all its faults... I actually really dug how they expanded upon the mythology of the story -- it's unique, but thematically in line with the original.  The rest of the movie is... pretty good... It is very well made, with Costa's direction standing out as inventive and stylish (love them shadow puppets). The performances are all really good too. The story is technically fine, but it feels like a lot of it was removed in post. The editing sometimes feels like it's stitching together scenes that were probably originally intended to be fleshed out and revealed in a different order, but whether that was actually the case or not, I have no idea. Nevertheless, even if there was some behind-the-scenes tampering like that, the final product was still stellar. Not great, but stellar.

3/4

*One Missed Call 3: Final (2006)* concludes the "One Missed Call" trilogy... The Japanese one, that is... This entry follows a class of High School students on a school trip to Korea, where they start hearing that mysterious ring tone before dying in gruesome ways. "Final" had a somewhat decent reception and it's... somewhat decent, I guess. They expand on the formula by allowing the recipients of the cursed call the opportunity to forward it to someone else -- dooming that person in the process. This causes the cast to turn on each-other, creating some new opportunities for tension. I actually thought this was the most entertaining part of the movie, but even then, it's kind of dumbed down. The characters are mostly shallow and are usually unsympathetic, so it's hard to become emotionally invested in what's happening. The ghost scenes just didn't work for me, as they rely a lot more on CGI effects, which were pretty terrible. The story is messy to the point of being confusing, but I also have to admit... "One Missed Call: Final" has some heart to it. A few scenes were genuinely touching and hey, it could've been worse.

It could've been that shitty Hollywood remake.

2/4

*Manos Returns (2018)* was the... much anticipated?... sequel to "Manos: The Hands of Fate", a contender for the 'worst movie of all time'. Much like the original, this was a completely amateurish production with little money and less talent. Although unlike the original, this has a sense of humor about it itself, which may make it either more palatable or obnoxious. As for me, I spent the majority of the running-time trying not to fall asleep. One point of interest, however, is that multiple cast members reprise their roles from the original after... 50 years later? It's pretty strange seeing the little girl now playing the evil hag, although on a sad note, Tom Neyman (The Master) passed away shortly after filming wrapped.

I hated "Manos: The Hands of Fate", so I don't care much for "Manos Returns", but hey -- obviously some people find these movies charming.

1/4

*Eye See You (2002)*, also known as "D-Tox", has every tool to be awesome at its disposal. I love the concept -- a whodunit surrounding cops going through rehabilitation at an isolated bunker. One of them is a serial killer. I love the setting -- a snowy locale. The cinematography is exceptional, with both the bunker and the frosty exteriors providing their own kinds of unease. Some shots are genuinely haunting. Finally, there is a great cast who turn in dedicated -- sometimes even profound -- performances. Sylvester Stallone, Charles S. Dutton, Kris Kristofferson, Jeffrey Wright, Tom Berenger, Stephen Lang, Robert Patrick, Dina Meyer, Sean Patrick Flanery and Courtney B. Vance make up the suspects and victims. There's just... so much to love here...

And it's all wasted on "Eye See You".

The (behind-the-scenes) story goes that "Eye See You" tested poorly and went through a cycle of reshoots, recuts and even a... rescore? Anyway, it was a troubled production, and the final cut shows its scars. There are some scenes that feel like they were shown out of order, especially once you learn of the killer's identity, as he-or-she seems to be in multiple places at once. The editing is sometimes just straight up bad, but even if it hadn't gone through all of this postproduction tampering... would it have been good? The writing often doesn't make sense. The staff of this D-tox joint often seem even more unhinged than the patients themselves. Who would seriously hire them for this kind of job? I think "Eye See You" would've always been a waste of talent, but the reshoots and recuts certainly made it worse. The movie was a critical and commercial disaster upon release... but it's also not unwatchable. It has some merit, just not enough to overcome its failings.

2/4 

*The Sadness (2021)* is all sorts of f@cked up. This nightmare from Tawain... and yet apparently directed by a Canadian dude... is easily one of the most depraved movies of all time -- possibly the most depraved that I've ever personally seen. The set-up is very "28 Days Later" crossed with "The Crazies", where a virus causes people to do insane. However, unlike most of the comparisons, the infected retain all of their mental faculties. They're just crazy and really, really, really violent. "The Sadness" has no problem with crossing boundaries, with violence against children, sexual assaults and some of the nastiest gore effects you'll ever see.  The filmmaking is top notch and there is some really clever satire here, but let's face it, whether or not you enjoy "The Sadness" depends on what your stomach can handle. I myself have drifted away from 'extreme horror' over the years, but "The Sadness" is a strong example of its kind because it's consistently disturbing, intense and you never have any idea what the f@ck is going to happen next.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 16, 2022)

*Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)* was designed to be a 'return to form' for the franchise, with not only Colin Trevorrow returning to the director's seat after reviving the brand in the first place, but Sam Neill, Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern (among others) reprising their roles from the original trilogy -- allowing them to interact with the new protagonists (played by Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, among others) for the grand finale of the "Jurassic Park" saga. But is this a satisfying conclusion to both trilogies? Eh, the negative reception suggests "No", but I didn't think it was as bad as the reviews suggest. If anything, it's an improvement over "Fallen Kingdom"... assuming that is any kind of an achievement. I'd also probably place it above "Jurassic Park 3", but below "The Lost World: Jurassic Park". Comparing this to the first "Jurassic World" -- emphasis on "World", because it doesn't hold a candle to "Jurassic Park" -- is difficult because "Dominion" is very lopsided. I found "Jurassic World" to be a more stable, albeit mediocre film. It's "better" than "Dominion" as a whole, but I also thought "Dominion" had better individual parts. 

I've never warmed up to the protagonists of the new trilogy, so I was happy to see Grant, Sattler and Malcolm again. They settle back in their roles snugly, with their scenes arguably being the best from an emotional standpoint. They can be funny, but they also continue to sell both the sense of awe and horror when interacting with the dinosaurs. HOWEVER, as much as I hate to say it, the story did not require them outside of nostalgia and marketing. I might not care for Owen or Claire or their bratty kid, but the narrative was built around them, so they're the ones who are constantly in peril. The majority of the set pieces involve them. The original cast just seem to be killing time until the finale, where everything finally comes together. The human villain this time is Dodgson, who briefly appeared in the original movie (different actor) and has a bigger role in the books. He's played by Campbell Scott, who channels guys like Elon Musk and Steve Jobs. I didn't like this incarnation of the character, as he just seems more bumbling than menacing. The villains from "Fallen Kingdom" might've been cartoonish, but at least you eagerly awaited their deaths, whereas Dodgson seems like he's too much on the spectrum to be especially detestable. 

The action set pieces were really exhilarating though. I know we're used to these special effects being very good, but the dinosaurs themselves seemed less weightless than they were in "Jurassic World", with improved sound design, editing and direction. I liked a lot of the scenarios, whether it's raptors chasing Owen in a town or having to traverse flimsy ice while being chased by a dinosaur. Trevorrow incorporates the settings effectively and showcased a lot more memorable visuals to highlight the danger. BUT... it's all somewhat hampered by a lack of overarching tension. Remember when we actually could fear for the heroes? When likable characters could be torn in half or bad-asses could be mauled to death or kids could be electrocuted? At no point did I feel like any of the set pieces were playing for keeps with any of its heroes. We figure the villains will bite it and there will probably be collateral damage with extras. But we figure they're probably not going to have the balls to kill off the returning cast, leaving us only with one new real protagonist... who's both black and LGBT... so she's probably safe. "Fallen Kingdom" also had this kind of problem, but it already kind of bad, so it didn't really matter. "Dominion" is a better movie, so putting itself in a position where it can't really kill off anyone worth crying over, makes it feel strangely toothless compared to all of its predecessors. But even if this kept "Dominion" from being scary, it was still pretty fun and even if it did not need to be 2 and a half hours long... I can't say I was ever bored or impatient. 

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 21, 2022)

*Edge of the Axe (1988)* is a decent little slasher that surpassed my... admittedly very low expectations... as I had never heard about it before and the late 1980's is generally regarded as a dry spell for the genre. The set-up is pretty standard, with an axe wielding maniac terrorizing a small town. The story does attempt to freshen things up by incorporating some technological advances for the time... this strange thing called a 'computer' that everyone thought would be the future back then. There's also a mystery that's very reminiscent of a giallo, with an ending that was both a cheat... and yet kind of surprising... I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but at least the kills were good. What made them somewhat distressing was that the axe appears to be somewhat blunt, as it takes the killer multiple hacks to do any real damage. That made the attacks feel more brutal. The acting, dialogue and pacing are all uneven, but... this slasher be slashing, and it slashes well. 

2.5/4 

*The Queen of Black Magic (2019)* is an Indonesian horror flick about four men and their families reuniting at the decaying Orphanage they grew up in, where they start encountering supernatural terrors. "The Queen of Black Magic" tapes into some gross horrors that keep me up at night, such as creepy crawlies literally getting under my skin. It also crosses certain boundaries, such as inflicting shocking violence against children. Although personally? The best scare has to be when something abruptly falls from the ceiling. Simple? Basic? Sure, but it still made me jump three feet high into the air! The writing is uneven though. I liked the themes of repressed trauma, but the female characters are so one dimensional that they're really just walking phobias. For example, one has an eating disorder and that is the extent of her character. I wouldn't normally bring this up, except most of the horrors are inflicted upon the women, not their husbands (the supposed protagonists). But still... "The Queen of Black Magic" provides plenty of good thrills and chills. 

3/4
*
The Editor (2014) *is hilarious... if you 'get it'... This is a send-up of Italian horror flicks, using gialli as the primary template, but incorporating supernatural elements as well. The movie does a great job at both recreating its inspirations and lampooning them, even poking fun at some pretty obscure details that only genre purists will pick up. The dialogue is so strange and the acting ranges from theatrical to wooden, but that's classic Italian horror for you... It's usually played straight, which makes it funnier. There is a lot of weird shit and it doesn't always makes sense, but "The Editor" is spontaneous about it and you never really know what's going to happen next. There's also an absurd amount of nudity and gore, with some really fun practical effects. If there is a flaw, I think "The Editor" maybe ran a little too long, but I had a blast with it. I DO HAVE TO STRESS THOUGH, this is not a clean cut comedy. If you turn it on without understanding what it's making fun of, you might just think it's bad. Not everyone is going to 'get it'. 

On another note, I found out afterwards that this was made by Astron-6, the same group of filmmakers who did "The Void" and "PG Psycho Goreman". 

3/4 

I must be one of the few people who actually liked *Alligator II: The Mutation (1991)*, the much-maligned sequel to the surprisingly good "Alligator (1980)". This is partially for nostalgic reasons, as it left a pretty big impact on me as a kid -- I think I even preferred this to the original! I hadn't revisited it for probably decades though, whereas I had with the first film, so I was curious how this would hold up as an adult. 

I'm still not entirely sure!

The plot is mostly just a retreat of "Alligator", hitting all of the same beats. The finale at the carnival is really disappointing because it's the same, but nowhere near as epic. The special effects range from bad to... not very good... The cinematography is sometimes moody though. But what still won me over at the end of the day were the colorful characters and campy dialogue, which reminded me a lot of "Tremors". "Alligator II" has some really amusing lines and the cast know exactly how to sell them for maximum impact. I loved Joseph Bologna in the leading role, but Richard Lynch, Dee Wallace, Woody Brown and Steve Railsback are all great in their own ways too. Yes, "Alligator II" is inferior to its predecessor and is very rough around the edges, but it has its charm. 

2.5/4 

*Blood Red Sky (2021)* is a British-German feature, distributed by netflix. A mother and her young son are passengers on a plane that is hijacked by a group of violent criminals... except it turns out, Mommy is carrying a disease with... vampiric symptoms. This was a pretty fun ride, blending action with horror. The vampire makeup was good. The intensity was high. The story of the Mother and son was emotional. The supporting cast was thinly written, being more like props than people, but they were pretty juicy blood bags. "Blood Red Sky" isn't necessarily a great movie, but it is an entertaining one.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Jun 29, 2022)

*The Black Phone (2022) *has garnered a lot of praise, with many viewers even hailing it as a modern classic, but... I agree! The set-up is pretty unique -- a young boy is abducted by a mysterious serial killer known as 'The Grabber' and locked in his basement. A disconnected phone starts ringing and when he answers, it's from the killer's previous victims, who might have what he needs to escape. It's a pretty strong story, with well written characters. Ethan Hawke's performance as the Grabber is chilling and his arsenal of masks are creepy as f@ck. The heroes are so likable that even when the narrative arguably loses focus to spend time with them, I didn't mind because they're so fun to watch.  You really feel a sense of loss when they perish. I occasionally teared up and it made me just that much more invested in seeing them overcome the odds.

"The Black Phone" relies more on suspense than scares, but it still did occasionally make me jump. It also moves at a surprisingly fast pace. It's not perfect. Some of the acting can be a little bad at times and a few of its ideas are strangely underdeveloped. I can definitely see many viewers taking issue with the narrative leaving the basement from time to time, as it can be argued as superfluous. But as I said, I still liked those divergences, because to me, they re-enforced why we care about what happens within the basement. I think what makes "The Black Phone" special is that it has heart. It feels fresh and just works as an all-around horror movie.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 13, 2022)

*Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)* is a reboot of the cinematic side of the franchise, justifying its existence by apparently being more faithful to the games. I've never really understood the obsession with accuracy, as games are meant to be played, not watched. I don't really follow the games and spent much of this viewing wondering why half of what happens really needed to happen. What is the story behind Lisa Trevor, an exceptionally strong mutant who Claire forms a bond with? We get nothing and the pay-off amounts to less, but... Hey, she was in the games! What about the little girl Sherry? The whole backstory between Chris and Birkin? All of it amounts to nothing. But perhaps you can make sense of it if you played the games. As for the characters, the only thing interesting about them are their names, because even I recognize 'Jill Valentine', 'Leon', 'Wesker', etc. They also spend so much time behaving like assholes early on that I could care less whether any of them died, fan outrage be damned. 

Despite all of this, I wouldn't call "Welcome to Raccoon City" terrible... or good... I did appreciate that it was more firmly planted within the horror genre than the previous films were. There was the occasional tense moment, but it's usually undercut by the subpar CGI and HOLYF@CKIT'SALREADYFINISHED!? pacing. The super fast pace is both good and bad, as it's seemingly over with before your brain can really process the faults. I actually paused it for a piss break thinking I had about 45 minutes left, but it ended up being less than 15 (!!). But it also means that the overall experience feels rather empty. It might be finished before you start thinking about the bad, but it also rushes through itself so fast that nothing of substance stays with you. The only thing "Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City" seems to want to do is remind you of the video games, when I'd rather just play. Even the earlier "Resident Evil" movies did more to distinguish themselves as movies. But hey, gamers probably will have some fun with "Welcome to Raccoon City".  

1.5/4

*Zombie for Sale (2019)* is a South Korean zombie-comedy, also known as "The Odd Family: Zombie on Sale", which is about an odd family who discover a zombie whose bites reverse the effects of aging and do not turn people into flesh eating ghouls... yet... This is a very quirky comedy, focusing more on the absurdity of the situation and the eccentricities of the family itself. The action and danger don't really pick up until the final act. I can't say I found this to be especially hilarious, but it is amusing and strangely sweet. I did grow attached to the characters for all their faults. The conclusion might be a bit of a cheat, but I have to admit... it left me clapping.

3/4 

*Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor (1991)* was developed as a sequel to "The Deadly Spawn", but after production delays and distribution woes, the connection was dropped... presumably because no one would've remembered "The Deadly Spawn" after nearly a decade later. Nevertheless, it's clearly the same monster, so you can still argue that "Metamorphosis" is still a sequel. Much like the original, this is a showcase for some really cool effects work. The phallic design is unsettling and all of the creature's orifices, slimy texture and toothy, drooly maw are quite disgusting to behold. The effects are more refined than they were in "The Deadly Spawn", with the creature showing more mobility this time around and a lot more emphasis seemed to put on its size. I was often reminded of "The Thing", which was clearly an influence, in the best possible way. Stop motion is occasionally used to fill in the gaps, but while it's not very convincing, it's an interesting visual style -- so I ain't complaining.

I will complain about everything else.

The story is a mess, relying a lot on unnecessary exposition to stitch the narrative together. The two protagonists are a pair of sisters who are trying to locate their Father in a lab, except it's hard for us to care because their Daddy was a minor character at best. Most of the first half is actually spent with the scientists, one who is doomed to become the monster and other who loves him. She serves as the emotional core of the story... and yet is unceremoniously dispatched, leaving us to wonder why we're supposed to care about any of this. It would've made more sense for the transformed scientist to be the sisters' Father from a dramatic perspective, but... whatever... The characters aren't very likable anyway and both the acting and dialogue are quite bad. "Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor" is definitely a sequel to "The Deadly Spawn". Great effects, bad everything else.

2/4  
*
Asylum (1972)* is yet another horror anthology from Amicus productions ("And Now the Screaming Starts!", "House that Dripped Blood" and more), directed by Roy Ward Barker. This was pretty good as a whole, although the shorts themselves were a mixed bag. The framing story surroundings a Doctor who goes to a secluded insane asylum for a job. But to get it, he has to solve a riddle by interviewing the patients -- each who has a deranged story to tell. "Frozen Fear" was easily my favorite, about a husband plotting to murder his wife... who is into some strange voodoo stuff. It has a nice blend of creepiness and campiness. "The Weird Tailor" has a strong buildup, where a struggling tailor is hired by a mysterious man to create a suit. Sounds lame, but when said mysterious man is Peter Cushing, it's actually pretty compelling. The ending did lose me a bit though, as it's too abrupt to be satisfying. "Lucy Comes to Stay" has Charlotte Rampling turning in a strong performance as a troubled woman who insists that someone named Lucy is ruining her life. Do all anthologies have the same kind of story with the same kind of pay-off? Is Lucy real or is she just insane? We know because all of these stories end the same way. I couldn't take "Mannequins of Horror" seriously, about a doctor creates little toy robots who he insists he can bring to life. The music tries so hard to make these toys scary, but their little robotic marching is just too adorable. I laughed -- but then the pay-off was surprisingly strong. As a whole though, I think "Asylum" worked. It never encounters the usual pacing problems of most anthologies and there's a great cast, all of whom are in fine form.

3/4 

*Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)* is the sequel to "Escape Room (2019)", which was about a group of strangers doing one of those escape room games... except these games will actually f@cking kill you. The previous survivors find themselves trapped in another game with other survivors. I'm skeptical whether this can last as a franchise, as it lacks a really good overarching villain like Jigsaw. But the movie itself is fine, working for the same reasons that the first one did and... also underwhelming for the same reasons. The rooms are creative and showcase plenty of spectacle, but I think I would enjoy them more if the clues were grounded in logic. I'd like to try to solve them myself, but the movie moves too fast. Still, the pacing keeps it fun. 

2.5/4


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## reiatsuflow (Jul 19, 2022)

Men's another great movie from garland, he's three for three.

I'm comfortable with movies tumbling out of literality and into metaphor but Men's a mixed bag on that. Some of its imagery and symbolism is borderline hacky (the forbidden fruit, eating the apple) and that's happening right next to all sorts of unique and beautiful ideas and shots and colors and sounds. I wish garland had fixed up the narrative a bit more. But only a bit.


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## MartialHorror (Jul 22, 2022)

*Nope (2022)* is Jordan Peele's latest blend of horror and humor, following the instant classic "Get Out" and the highly lucrative "Us". This one deals with extraterrestrials and its actual genre has been somewhat contested, with many arguing that it's not the horror film reflected in the trailers -- even though I'd argue that the marketing campaign pushed it more as a suspenseful adventure-thriller-comedy. I still felt it belonged within the genre, with many scary scenes at its disposal. If anything, I was taken aback by how reserved the comedy was. Yes, "Nope" can be quite funny, but the laughs usually dissipated whenever the danger or drama was heightened. Now I need to make it clear that "Nope" is not as good as "Get Out", but I also think it's unreasonable to assume it would be. "Us" received a lot of hate simply because it wasn't as good as "Get Out" and I hope viewers have learned to get a reign in their expectations. "Us" was pretty damn good itself and I thought "Nope" was also exceptional. The effects are excellent, used sparingly in the right way and rely on provoking the right emotion. There's a sense of wonder whenever the UFO pops up, but a sense of dread usually proceeds it thanks to moody cinematography and horrifying sound design. "Nope" actually made me kind of scared of aliens again, something I thought was impossible by this point. So many nerve-wracking scenes, but it also knows when to lay back and just have fun. I've heard some comparisons to "Jaws" and in a lot of ways, that's about right. It can be scary, but it can also be exciting and make you feel like you're embarking on an adventure.

The primary cast is really good.  I really dug Keke Palmer as Em. She has a lot of charisma and great comedic timing. I was sure Palmer would steal the show from Daniel Kaluuya (O.J) based on the trailers, but... nope... He just has a different kind of charisma, and his character arguably had the more complete arc. The supporting cast is really good too, but admittedly this is also where the writing fumbles just a bit. One character (played by Steven Yeun) has a compelling backstory, but it wasn't really necessary. I get the thematic relevance; it's just that other scenes already drove that point home, making it redundant. This is a complicated issue though, as the backstory does humanize the character and is quite the chilling scene. I'm not complaining too much about it, but I will complain about another character making a suicidal decision out of nowhere, for reasons I'm still not sure about. Maybe subsequent viewings will clear it up.

"Nope" is still a really strong movie. Funny, scary, exciting, sad, heartwarming -- it's a cinematic assault from all directions and is probably my favorite movie of 2022.

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Jul 27, 2022)

*Don't Breathe 2 (2021)* is one of those sequels that was always probably going to be a little problematic, if completely unnecessary. The first surrounded a group of robbers who break into the house of Norman Nordstrom (Stephen Lang), a blind veteran who is actually quite lethal. He's such an underdog that it's hard not to kind of root for him, except his debut film revealed him to be MUCH worse than the intruders. This sequel somewhat rehashes the concept, except there's two variables. Norman is trying to raise a young girl named Phoenix (Madelyn Grace) and the intruders are much more dangerous. There is somewhat of an effort to play with our expectations, making us wonder who the villains truly are, but we know how brands work. Norman is an anti-hero now, which might make audiences uncomfortable after his actions before.

Beyond that, the movie is fine. Stephen Lang has a lot of presence; Grace is surprisingly likable as the little girl. I think I remembered the director saying something along the lines of this being the "Aliens" to the first film's "Alien", so it trades out horror for action. Now instead of dreading the characters making noise, we anticipate it with excitement. The pacing is uneven, but when the movie is suspenseful, it can be quite nail biting. The action scenes are generally thrilling too. But in the end, it just doesn't have a strong enough story to really stand out. It differentiates itself from the original by being more like everything else.

2.5/4 

*Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)* might just be the most underrated and overlooked zombie film ever made. An Italian-Spanish co-production, the setting is a remote countryside. An unlikely couple find themselves the suspects in a murder, distracting the police from a zombie epidemic. The story obviously draws inspiration from "Night of the Living Dead", but this was before everything seemly borrowed from Romero, so the usual rules don't apply. The zombies might be slow, but they're strong enough to break bones with their bare hands, smart enough to concoct plans and... as if those weren't bad enough... blows to the head don't seem to kill them. Stylistically, the movie is more akin to "Tombs of the Blind Dead". The sound design in particular really popped out with the zombie's wheezing. It's very creepy and when you start throwing in shocking violence and spooky fog, you get one of the few zombie films that sometimes manages to even be scary. Now don't expect much from a writing perspective... There are plot holes, such as a shambling ghoul somehow beating a car to the same location, but... neither Spanish or Italian horror movies ever cared too much about logic, so why would a collaboration between the two be any different?

3.5/4  

*Beyond Re-animator (2003) *is the third entry in the "Re-animator" trilogy and it probably would've been good had it had more resources at its disposal, but instead it has to settle for being... OK... Jeffrey Combs reprises his role of Dr. Herbert West, the mad scientist who thought he could conquer death, but instead accidentally created undead abominations. Thirteen years after the events of "Bride of Re-animator", he is serving a lengthy prison sentence. But it turns out that his research has caught the attention of the new Prison doctor (Jason Barry), who wishes for West to continue his experiments. Brian Yuzna, who produced the original film and directed the 2nd, returns as the director -- so expect "Beyond Re-animator" to be f@cking weird. It's quite farcical, with plenty of bonkers moments, but it can be pretty nasty too. You'll either love Yuzna's style or you won't. Not every "gag" worked on me, but at least the movie has personality. It's supposed to be ridiculous. 

I do feel like the filmmakers did their absolute best with what they have to work with. All of these movies were low budgeted, but the first two films were produced during an era where you could do a lot more with very little money. They had bombastic effects that were just as epic as they were revolting. They could even afford a stellar cast, but by 2003? Everything is more expensive, so filmmakers can do very little with very little money. "Beyond Re-animator" is clearly low budgeted, but they do try to work around it. There are some gruesome effects, even if they never reach the crazy heights of their predecessors. The movie was filmed in Spain to cut costs, so most of the actors speak English only as a second language... even though this is supposed to take place in America... It's distracting, but I got over it. The writing is sometimes really bad, often making our new hero seem like a complete idiot. But Jeffrey Combs is still magnetic as West. If nothing else, "Beyond Re-animator" has him. I was both kind of underwhelmed and yet pleasantly surprised by this. It pales compared to the original -- maybe even the second -- but you can also tell that the people involved in making it cared about what they were doing. This could've been a lot worse, so I respect the effort.

2.5/4    

*Little Monsters (1989) *is one of those... childhood favorites... that creeped me out as a kid and somehow creeps me out even more as an adult. Fred Savage stars as a young boy who befriends the monster under his bed, named Maurice (Howie Mandel). He discovers a whole new world of monsters, who wish to terrorize all the little children... So... "Little Monsters" is one big metaphor for grooming, right? Maurice is a grown-ass monster who likes getting way too close to this kid, always invading his personal space, touching him, making suggestive movements... pulling the boy's pants down... All of the monsters have serious pedo vibes and I'm still not sure whether they were deliberate, as this is supposed to be a 'family friendly' film. Fred Savage is pretty likable, but Howie Mandel was really annoying. Kids probably will... ugh, I feel gross saying this... "like" him for his manic energy, but he nearly ruined the movie for me. He does handle the more dramatic scenes pretty well though. Even though "Little Monsters" is a comedy, it does have a distant relationship to the horror genre, most prominently featured during the finale. I remember thinking this was scary, as the makeup is shockingly morbid for a 'kids film'. The effects are decent for a lower budgeted film and sometimes... the movie even adopts a pretty stellar 'coming-of-age' mentality. 

But let's face it, good or bad, I think the overall viewing experience is upstaged by the weird and uncomfortable interactions between monsters and children.

2/4    

*Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)* is a step up from its strangely boring predecessor, on account of having a sense of humor about itself and a wonderfully over-the-top villainous turn from Woody Harrelson. But does that make it good? Not necessarily, but at least it has some personality. The joke is that Venom and Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) behave like an actual married couple, with a lot of innuendo to boot. It's fairly amusing, even if I'm still not entirely sold on Tom Hardy's comedic timing. The action scenes are OK, but they could've really benefited from some gore, as what's the f@cking point of a superpowered serial killer if we don't get some heads being eaten on-screen? The story is thin, often working on the assumption that you know the comics and the overall movie isn't particularly memorable. But it's fun enough. My sister insisted that all the stuff between Eddie and Venom was 'cute', so there's that too.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 6, 2022)

*Prey (2022)* is a prequel to the "Predator" franchise, being set in 1719, where a Comanche tribe finds itself being hunted by... something out of this world... This was pretty good, with the change of setting being a breath of fresh air for the franchise. Now extremely positive reviews in mind, I do think the final product is somewhat overhyped. You can definitely tell that the filmmakers had to stretch their budget thin, as this feels much cheaper than all of its predecessors, although I only minded during the finale, which was a little underwhelming. But the effects are really good and I liked the new design of the 'predator' itself. Its technology is somewhat primitive compared to what we're used to, but this allowed for different kinds of action scenes -- that were quite exciting.

Now what I call "Prey" particularly scary? Or even suspenseful? Not really... Its biggest failing is its characters. Besides Naru (Amber Midthunder) and her brother Taabe (Dakota Beavers), none of them are given any distinguishable characteristics or personality... well, beyond not liking women doing men things. Because they're not sympathetic or even interesting, it's hard to feel much dread when they're in peril. The two leads are likable though and the novelty of 'Comanche hunters vs alien' usually overcame the thin writing. It also helps that "Prey" is relatively short and definitely fast paced, so you're not necessarily going to notice until it's all over with. I don't know if "Prey" is my favorite of the sequels. I've always had a soft spot for "Predator 2" myself, but it is one of the better entries. Definitely the best we've had in awhile.

3/4 

(If this review seems a little sloppy; I had originally written a better one, but my dumbass somehow lost it)


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## MartialHorror (Aug 12, 2022)

*Day Shift (2022)* is the latest big netflix blockbuster, starring Jamie Foxx as a pool cleaner/vampire hunter who's allowed back into the guild of hunters under the condition that he's tailed by a by-the-book Union rep (Dave Franco). Even though there's more than enough gore to qualify this as a 'horror', it's really more of an action-comedy. This was billed as "from the guys who taught John Wick how to kick ass", so... um... I'm assuming they share the same stunt coordinators and martial arts choreographers? If so, I believe it. The fight scenes are awesome, with plenty of stylish maneuvers, excellent uses of props and surroundings. And violence. And Scott Adkins. The humor is sort of hit-and-miss. But when I laughed, I laughed. There are still flaws. As much as I dug the action, I did think it was strange how superhuman beings were somehow beating the shit out of noncombatants without doing any real damage. I like Natasha Liu Bordizzo, but her character is sort of crowbarred into the story. I'm not really sure why the narrative required her presence, as she's not really a love interest or even a red herring. She's just... there... "Day Shift" isn't perfect, but it is fun. The cast is having fun. The fight scenes are fun. The kills are fun. I had fun watching it.

3/4 

I wasn't in any hurry to watch *Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021) *when it was released on 'Paramount Plus', partially because of the hostile reception, partially because I was underwhelmed by the streaming service as a whole... but mostly because I developed such an intense love/hate relationship with the franchise that I wasn't sure I even wanted a new entry. I was initially a supporter of these movies, but they pushed the overarching story so slowly that it made the individual films seem redundant. It was always 'same shit, a few new shots'. Then "Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension" randomly decided to throw away everything that the series seem to be building up to... and was just really shitty... 'Found footage' has so much potential to be more frightening than most kinds of horror, because it involves the audience in ways other horror genres cannot. But unfortunately, they can also be produced so cheaply and quickly that quality control is not necessary. If you can lure a couple million dollars' worth of victims to your theater, you probably will turn a profit.

BUT...

I also couldn't deny that "Next of Kin" had a pretty intriguing set-up. We're used to all of the contrived ways the hapless eventual victims will carry around a camera with them, so they can record their probable deaths. But an Amish village? That's pretty unique and if the reviews were better, I probably would've shelved out some money to watch this upon release. And to be honest, I think the critics were a little harsh towards this one. I personally suspect that the reception had less to do with this movie and more to do with their disdain towards 'found footage'... although I'm not going to oversell this movie as 'good'. I will admit that it made me realize... I actually kind of missed "Paranormal Activity" after all... The sudden, ominous noises; the feeling that any horror can exist right outside of the frame; even the silly jump scares. Add an additional layer of unease with the villagers acting suspicious and somewhat likable protagonists, I enjoyed this movie than I thought I would. I also appreciated the movie trying to tell its own story. It's vague as to whether it's part of the original continuity, but at least it's not just the 'same ole shit'. There's more of a mystery to solve. My only real problem with the movie -- but it's a big one for me -- is I think these movies lost a lot of their edge with the rise of digital technology. Something about high-definition footage and drones just... aren't particularly scary aesthetics. The use of slow motion was even worse, making some intense scenes almost comical. I can't blame the filmmakers for trying this. It wouldn't make sense for them not too, as this tech is part of our daily lives now. It just doesn't work for my personally. But as a whole, either this was better than the last few sequels... or I was feeling nostalgic for the formula, because I enjoyed this... enough...

2.5/4 

*Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)* was produced during the decline of the 1990's slasher trend, which would end with... well... the year 2000. Even though its predecessor -- "Urban Legend" -- had been one of the more successful "Scream" imitators, this sequel was coldly received by just about everyone... critics, fans, general audiences... and the box office numbers reflected this. It wasn't an outright flop, but it was definitely an underperformer, and the next sequel would be released straight to video... and trade out the slasher format for a ghost one, ripping off "The Ring" instead of "Scream". Surprisingly, I don't remember it being bad. But this one? Definitely bad.

I guess the core problem with "Urban Legends: Final Cut" is that it's too tame to be a satisfactory slasher, with bloodless and unimaginative kills, but thinks it's being clever by having characters point out how bloodless and unimaginative they are. To be fair, the genre was going through a period where violence was frowned upon, so I'm sure the filmmakers had their hands tied -- at least to an extent. But when you take out the slashing in your slasher, you force the audience to focus on all the bad qualities of the genre. The writing requires everyone to behave illogically so that they can be killed off conveniently, the killer either seems omnipresent or just absurdly lucky. The acting is decent, but the characters are just so thinly drawn, unpleasant or stupid that you don't really care what becomes of them... These are all familiar flaws that most slashers suffer from, but they at least can hide their failings behind cool kills... "Urban Legends: Final Cut" doesn't, so it's pretty boring.

1.5/4

*The Deep House (2021) *gets by on its novelty concept -- a haunted house that's... submerged in a lake? That's a new one. Unfortunately, it doesn't have much else going for it. I couldn't tell if this was supposed to be 'found footage' or not, as much attention is spent on setting up all of their cameras, including an underwater drone. It often looks like it's shot from those perspectives, but every once in a while, there will be a rogue shot that contradicts this. The house is a pretty creepy set though. The problem is that there isn't much you can do underwater, so the scary stuff isn't that scary. It's also hard to like the characters, with the boyfriend standing out as especially annoying.

But hey, a literal underwater haunted house. That's neat.

2/4

*Detective Story (2007)* is a serial killer thriller from director Takashi Miike, where some madman stalks women for their organs. A highly eccentric private eye is drawn into the case when he becomes a suspect, so he decides to catch the killer himself. This is a very strange movie, being grisly and bleak -- as befitting a Takashi Miike movie -- but also being quirky and goofy-- also befitting a Takashi Miike movie. The tonal whiplashes are bizarre to behold and could normally derail a movie, but I thought it gave this some personality. I enjoyed the characters a lot and there are some really morbid visuals. Takashi Miike might be my personal favorite director, so I'm going to be at least somewhat biased here, but this is another stellar example of his work.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 18, 2022)

*Bodies, Bodies, Bodies (2022)* is the latest critically acclaimed horror distributed by A24 -- a whodunit, styled after Agatha Christie, 1990's slashers and... social media... I don't think this was anywhere near as funny as the trailers suggests, but this isn't really a criticism against the movie itself. The marketing campaign just doubled does on the humorous parts, even editing them in a way to make them seem funnier. There is certainly a satirical element, with some scathing commentary to be found, yet the actual film is mostly structured as a legit thriller. The premise is that a bunch of rich, self-absorbed assholes find themselves isolated in a mansion thanks to a hurricane... and one of them is a killer. I was really impressed with the pacing, as "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" does an exceptional job at building up tension, while rarely wasting time in its relatively short length. I loved how everything escalates so quickly thanks to the characters being complete morons -- for once, plot induced stupidity makes perfect sense. As for the satire, I was also pleasantly surprised by how quick witted and even thought provoking "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" could be, especially considering the lean running-time. 

HOWEVER,

"Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" also arguably is too smart by half. The problem I had with this movie was actually the same problem I had with the equally beloved "X". I just didn't like the characters. They're deliberately written to be awful, albeit in an amusing kind of way. I get it, that's the point. I know that not everyone will agree with me (clearly most aren't) and I'll fully own this as a point of personal contention (not an objective one), but I struggle connecting with these cynical narratives. Now much like "X", I will admire the film for how well made it is. Considering the budget, the cinematography often pops out and the cast is great. Don't expect much in the way of kills though. They're pretty standard, bloody enough to warrant an R-rating, but the language is the primary offender of the MPAA. The satire and the whodunit angle are what "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" prioritizes anyway. So definitely check this out. It's not entirely my cup of tea, but most people seem to be loving it. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Aug 19, 2022)

I have a few new releases to go over. If I had known I was going to watch so many in such a short time, I would've held off on my "Bodies Bodies Bodies" review.

*Beast (2022) *was a lot of fun, especially considering how there aren't too many decent 'animal rampages' thrillers anymore. A family finds themselves stranded in the Savannah, where they're hunted by a murderous lion. "Beast" is structured very much like "Cujo", with most of the action technically taking place within a confined setting. But it's leaner and faster paced, with a bigger kill count. The filmmakers craft many nerve-wracking sequences, the lion CGI is pretty good and the cast (which includes Idris Elba and Sharlto Copley) turn in spirited performances. Now if this was produced when these kinds of movies were common, such as the 1990's, I doubt it would stand out much. It's more competent than exceptional. But in a landscape of big budgeted superhero movies and low budgeted ghost stories, a mid-budgeted killer lion film like "Beast" does stick out amongst the crowd.

3/4

I was probably one of *Orphan: First Kill (2022)*'s biggest sceptics going in, as good or bad, I don't think anyone was really demanding a prequel to "Orphan". It may have been both critically and commercially successful at the time, but do people really remember it almost 15 years later? I don't think so. Plus, the first movie was dependent on its big twist... and we know how this MUST end because it's a prequel... and Isabelle Fuhrman is now too old to be playing a little girl. Had this prequel been panned, I probably would've skipped it, yet the reviews were positive enough to guilt me into giving it a chance. "First Kill" begins in a mental institution, but it isn't long before Fuhrman's titular orphan escapes and latches onto another family -- killing anyone who gets in her way.  It's a familiar routine, hitting all the same beats as its predecessor, much to my dismay. You see... I was one of the few people who thought "Orphan" was overrated. It was OK, but without the twist, it wasn't worth much. So this was kind of boring me, as they obviously can't just use the same twist.

But then... "Orphan: First Kill" actually caught me off guard. It might not be able to recycle the infamous twist, but it can create its own. I was taken aback by a specific plot turn, which happens around the halfway point. Suddenly I was no longer in familiar territory, and it was kind of refreshing. Now does this make "Orphan: First Kill" any better than its predecessor? I don't know, a lot of it has to do with expectations. The first "Orphan" had much more hype, so left me a little disappointed. This one just had an OK reception, so was a little better than I expected. The new twist keeps the narrative afloat. There are some cool kills. The trailers might've had me worried that Isabelle Fuhrman looked too old, but I never had that issue with the movie itself. The special effects team deserves a round of applause. It's also nice seeing Julia Stiles again. "Orphan: First Kill" isn't necessary, but it is kind of fun. Definitely better than it needed to be.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Sep 12, 2022)

*Barbarian (2022) *opened to a shocking amount of acclaim, with many hailing it as the 'best horror movie of 2022'. Is it? I dunno. I can't even remember what else there was, but it is a good one. It starts out simple enough -- Tess (Georgina Campbell) books a rental home in the shittiest of neighborhoods, only to find that it's already inhabited by Keith (Bill Skarsgård), who also booked it. She finds him to be somewhat unnerving, on account of him being played by Bill Skarsgård, but she agrees to stay for the night... when bad stuff starts to happen... It's best to limit your exposure to trailers and TV spots, as "Barbarian" relies a lot on catching the viewer off-guard. Its narrative stylings are unconventional and might even be a little off-putting, but they're unexpected. Spoilers would ruin the experience. Beyond that, the cast is really good and there are plenty of scary moments. I sometimes took issue with how the story was being told, as it arguably wastes time on threads that go nowhere. But I also understood why the filmmakers did that. Was I blown away by "Barbarian"? No. But I was impressed by it all the same.

3/4

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MartialHorror (Sep 17, 2022)

*Pearl (2022) *is a prequel to the acclaimed horror flick "X", focusing on Pearl (Mia Goth) as she develops... murderous tendencies... while aspiring to be a "star". I'm not going to say "Pearl" is a better movie than "X", but I liked it more. Stylistically, it's very different from its predecessor. Think less "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and more... "Mary Poppins"? The presentation is deliberately designed to evoke the technicolor era of film, from the warm colors to the framing, the music, editing choices and even the somewhat exaggerated performances. It's an unconventional choice, to say the least. But "X" was also strikingly well-made and yet it still left me feeling cold, so why do I prefer "Pearl"? 

"X" was simply too much of an intellectual slasher for my tastes. It made me think, for sure, but it was at the cost of me giving a shit about the characters -- whom I neither wanted to see survive OR die. "Pearl" keeps its narrative focused on Pearl herself, so we experience her highs and lows with her. Mia Goth knows how to convey loneliness and despair so effectively that it's very easy to pity her. But when Pearl is angry... holy f@ck was she terrifying. I felt fear for her victims based on her performance alone. Now obviously Mia Goth played this same role in "X", but she was just a part of that movie. With "Pearl", she arguably IS the movie. So, this one just resonated with me more, even if both are exceptional horror films.  

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 1, 2022)

I couldn't wait for *Smile (2022)* to come out... primarily because I was sick of watching that same damn trailer over and over again, which I didn't particularly care for in the first place. The supposedly "scary" moments looked silly too me and I was reminded way too much of that shitty "Truth or Dare" movie. But there was certainly a silver lining to be found here. Studios usually only give these aggressive marketing campaigns to horror films they believe in, so it had to be good... right?

RIGHT!?

Yes... mostly... if nothing else, I was never reminded of that shitty "Truth or Dare" movie. Instead, I was reminded of good films -- such as "It Follows", "The Ring", "Drag Me to Hell" and even "Hereditary". I suppose this could be a flaw, as there was very little about "Smile" I would describe as unique. The "Drag Me to Hell"-esque storythread was definitely its weakest link and probably didn't need to be there, but other than that, "Smile" successfully captures a lot of what makes its inspirations work. It can be pretty f@cking scary. There is suspenseful build-up, shocking jump scares and one f@cking visual involving a ghost chilling in the shadows that nearly gave me a heart attack. The director does an exceptional job at using the entire frame to his advantage, putting the audience in a perpetual state of unease, as sometimes you're not sure where the horror is going to come from. The sound design relies a lot on loud noises, but they were well placed and the music was creepy. The cast is also great, with Sosie Bacon popping out as our heroine. She completely sold her character's psychological breakdown. "Smile" also makes some inspired points about mental illness, but maybe it hits a little too close to home at times? It is arguably exploitative. 

I'm not sure if this is going to be a praise or a criticism, but was it just me or does "Smile" seem like a more mainstream attempt at 'elevated horror'? It's almost like someone saw "It Follows" and thought: "How do I make this for mass consumption?". If you're expecting 'elevated horror', I think you're setting yourself for disappointment. The narrative is arguably too dependent on dream sequences and the ending was pretty standard. But part of the reason I've never liked the term 'elevated horror' is it's kind of pompous and misses the point of the genre -- which is usually some form of scaring you. I don't think one part of the genre is inherently better the rest. I only bring this up because "Smile" blurs the lines. It has the thematic material of an 'elevated horror' and explores these themes pretty effectively. But it also wants to make the audience jump. A lot. So expect a lot of those trappings. 

But I liked it. It had enough scary moments to get the heart racing and even when it's arguably fumbling, I never grew bored or frustrated. The trailer did not do it justice!

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 7, 2022)

Hulu's *Hellraiser (2022)* is about as good of a "Hellraiser" movie as one can hope for in this day and age. The gore effects are hardcore, with plenty of brutal moments that will leave you cringing and cenobites that are true to form. There's a good mixture of CGI and practical work, but I was impressed with how director David Bruckner made you dread the violence. He builds up to it in such a way that by the time flesh is ripped, you've already had an anxiety attack just from the anticipation. There's good suspense; an uneasy atmosphere and a kick-ass setting for the finale. The pacing is tight, but not in too much of a hurry. The characters are likable, which is obviously a part of what makes their deaths so difficult to watch. The cast do a good job playing them. Jamie Clayton's new incarnation of Pinhead was surprisingly effective. She has one monologue in particular that's particularly chilling.

This is definitely the best entry the franchise has seen in awhile, so... what's holding it back? I think the problem with resurrecting "Hellraiser" or any older horror property is that it doesn't go well with a digital format. It's easy to take for granted, but so much of their atmosphere is built around it being shot on traditional film -- with that roughness making the violence feel more disgusting. "Hellraiser" does an admirable (maybe even incredible) job at making it work, but the aesthetic is still a little too polished to reach the horrifying heights of the first two films. I don't even know if I would call this a flaw though, as much as it's just a personal preference. I had the same issue with "Prey" and "Candyman (2021)". Nevertheless, it is still a very good reboot and I'd be interested in any sequels.

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 14, 2022)

*Halloween Ends (2022)* concludes the trilogy than began with "Halloween (2018)"... which itself was a sequel to "Halloween (1978)", which had already spawned an entire franchise and a remake before that... The marketing campaign really pushes the climactic showdown between Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Michael Myers, but "Halloween Ends" isn't really either of their story. Three years following the events of "Halloween Kills", the town of Haddonfield has become consumed with fear and paranoia, partially due to Michael vanishing without a trace. Cory (Rohan Campbell) is a young man, stigmatized by his troubled past. He falls in love with Laurie's granddaughter Alysson (Andi Matichak), who returns his feelings. But Laurie senses the same darkness in him that she once saw in Michael. Is he doomed to become another mythical killer?

So yeah... this is really more of a dark romance than it is a horror or a slasher. I think the "Halloween" formula had long since run its course, although that doesn't mean it can't be dusted off from time to time for good effect. So I do applaud the filmmakers for trying something new. There's even somewhat of a character understudy going on, with a lot of emphasis being on how Haddonfield's collective trauma keeps everyone from being able to move on. Jamie Lee Curtis is so good as Laurie Strode. This sequel makes better use of her than "Halloween Kills" did and every time she emotes, you feel what she's feeling.

But the problem with "Halloween Ends" is that for all of its efforts, it's kind of f@cking boring.

If you want Michael, you're going to have to wait until around the 45 minute mark. It takes over an hour before the kills start piling up, which are admittedly quite gruesome, but you're going to have to wait for them. I liked the idea behind the tragic romance, but I don't think the movie quite pulled it off. The weakness is with Alysson. The actress is great, but the character spends most of her screen-time as a prop for both Laurie and Cory's character arcs. When she starts developing her own motivations, they seem to come out of nowhere. Her falling in love with Cory, her falling out with Laurie... it seemed forced...  Regardless, that whole plot ends up being wasted time anyway when Michael and Laurie suddenly hijack the narrative from the couple for their much-advertised climactic duel.

"Halloween Ends" will definitely be amongst the most divisive entries in the franchise. It's the complete antithesis to "Halloween Kills", which was devoid of substance, but worked as a satisfactory slasher. This has some substance ,but makes for an unsatisfactory slasher. But hey -- at least it's different. If nothing else, I can definitely see this finale developing a strong cult following over time.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 19, 2022)

*Deadstream (2022)* is a 'found footage' styled horror-comedy, except it uses a livestream gimmick. A youtube personality stays the night at a haunted house, streaming it all live. Of course -- it's a haunted house that ends up actually being... really haunted... I was surprised how well "Deadstream" balanced the humor and horror. Our protagonist (Joseph Winter -- who also co-wrote and co-directed) is a genuinely amusing satire of actual live-streamers. His reactions were hilarious, even as the movie surrounding him ramps up the tension. There are good jumps and spooky visuals too, although I did think "Deadstream" starts to run out of steam around the finale. Maybe it gets a little too silly? They seemed to be drawing inspiration from "Evil Dead 2", but I thought it worked better when the ghostly menace was left to our imagination. Nevertheless, this movie did make me laugh and shiver, sometimes at once. 

3/4 

*Sissy (2022)* is about a social influencer named Cecilla (Aisha Dee), who runs into a childhood friend, Emma (Hannah Barlow). They reconnect and Cecillia's invited to her bachelorette party... at an isolated cabin... and one of the other guests is Cecilla's old bully, Alex (Emily De Margheriti). Tensions escalate. It's only a matter of time before someone snaps. Marked as a horror-comedy, "Sissy" is more difficult to categorize. The first half is more of a drama, focusing on all of the awkward scenarios that would inevitably rise from this kind of a situation. Alex seems to belittle Cecillia at every turn. But what makes this interesting is that it becomes apparent that Alex has a genuine grievance against Cecillia as well. The filmmakers do a great job at keeping the audience in a state of discomfort. The performances are exceptional. Aisha Dee makes you empathize with her character, while Emily De Margheriti adds nuance to her otherwise loathsome "antagonist".

The second half has someone go on a killing spree (it's not hard to guess who) and it becomes much more of the 'horror-comedy' that one would expect. The kills are gruesome as f@ck, but there is a satirical element to them. "Sissy" has a lot to say about social influencers and I thought it had a little more substance than "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" -- also a satire on such things. "Sissy" isn't necessarily my cup of tea. I hate all things social media, so much of the lingo personally annoys me. It also moves at a pretty slow pace. But it is a good movie and it's the type of good that arguably transcends the genre. I can see horror purists and casual viewers alike appreciating it. Even those uninterested in the genre might get something out of it. 

3/4 

*Santa Jaws (2018)* is about a killer shark... that wears a Santa hat on its fin... Do I need to say more? The plot borrows a lot from "Krampus", where a boy accidentally wishes a... Christmas themed shark into existence... These movies are usually a lot more fun to preach about to unsuspecting friends and relatives than they are to actually sit down and watch. "Santa Jaws" is really just another one of those cheaply made, cheesy shark movies. It isn't the worst of its kind though. The cast seems to be enjoying themselves and there are some flashes of imagination. But it's still about as bad as you'd expect it to be, with shitty effects, awful dialogue, stilted performances and nonsensical writing. But hey... that's kind of the joke that all these movies rely on...

1.5/4 

*Burnt Offerings (1976)* is a haunted house movie with an all-star cast, including Oliver Reed, Karen Black, Bette Davis, Burgess Meredith and Eileen Heckart. It failed at the box office at the time and received mixed reviews, but won some awards, developed a strong cult following over the years and became very influential in its own right. The problem with "Burnt Offerings" is that... we've seen most of this play out before... The house is creepy; seems to negatively influence its inhabitants; family unit breaks down; etc. The ending is admittedly kind of shocking though. One thing "Burnt Offerings" does that's unique is this time... it's the Father who's sensitive to the paranormal. Usually it's the Mom, with the Dad being the skeptic. There is something quite distressing about watching man's man Oliver Reed curl up in a corner like a frightened child. But is "Burnt Offerings" scary? Not really. It is kind of creepy and maintains a level of psychological tension though, thanks to the spirited performance by the awesome cast. 

3/4 

I was debating whether or not I should review *The Addams Family (1991)* and its sequel, *The Addams Family Returns*, but I guess it has enough gothic settings, classical horror stylistic flourishes and macabre wit to give them some coverage. I loved the first movie as a kid, although I don't recall having strong feelings towards the sequel. As an adult, I think they're both about the same in overall quality. The original feels fresher, but the sequel has a few more laughs at its disposal. The casting is incredible. Raul Julia, Anjelica Houston, Christina Ricci, Christopher Lee... and pretty much everyone else... turn in show stopping, iconic performances. For some reason, I've always been under the impression that Tim Burton helmed these films, but it was actually Barry -- although I wouldn't be surprised if Burton was an influence. Now if I have any real issue with these movies, it's that I sometimes thought they pushed the dark comedy a little too far at times. The final moments of "The Addams Family Returns" in particular left a bad taste in my mouth. But I guess it was worth it, as I think it the edginess generally added to the charm. If this were remade today, it would either be too dark for kids or too sanitized to do much for adults. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 24, 2022)

*Dashcam (2021) *is another found footage movie, except this is a livestream, with the perspectives alternating between a dashcam and an iPhone. I think this could've made for a compelling short film, possibly as part of that "V/H/S" franchise? It certainly has its moments. But the narrative often feels like it's part of an endless loop. Our heroine encounters danger, barely escapes, takes a breather, something pops out of nowhere just as the audience gets comfortable. I swear -- one character is seemingly killed off like four or five times, as part of the same damn... admittedly solid... scare. Annie Hardy plays a semi-autobiographical version of herself, a songwriter turned livestreamer. I'm assuming that the Annie Hardy is not this nightmare of a human being in real life. She is insufferable as f@ck and yes, I know that is supposed to be the point. But I nearly turned the damn movie off because of that 'point'. Everything culminates into a finale that's so shaky -- literally -- that I couldn't tell what was going on. Then there's an ending that just left me unsatisfied.

The end credits were creative though. Arguably the best part of the movie.

2/4

*V/H/S/94 (2021*) was hailed as a return to form for the "V/H/S" franchise. It was released as a 'Shudder' original, apparently reaching record breaking numbers for the streaming service. I have to confess... I haven't really been keeping up with this film series, choosing to skip out on the maligned "V/H/S: Viral" and the unnecessary spin-off, "Siren". I was never really all that hot on this property in the first place, although the 2nd film was pretty good. So was this really a return to form?

Sure.

If nothing else, the wraparound segment is still terrible, sucking for the same reasons its original equivalent did. For those who don't know, the gimmick for "V/H/S" is that it's a horror anthology, except each of these shorts are seemingly recorded over the same old VHS tape. Honestly -- the shorts here are all solid. Each of them showcase awesome practical effects, from the gore to the creatures. They utilize the video camera pretty well, allowing for either some cool action scenes or suspenseful encounters. There's also a sense of fun to each of them, keeping them tonally in line with each-other. If I have any problem, it's that during the final episode ("Terror"), it dawned on me that most of them are structurally identical. How many times do we need to see armed dudes searching dark hallways? Also, why the f@ck can't they get the wraparound segments right? But "V/H/S/94" consistently delivers gruesome, outrageous and even nerve-wracking mayhem. Fun stuff.

3/4

*V/H/S/99 (2022)* is much more uneven than its predecessor... which if I'm being honest, makes it a truer return to form to the original, but that's neither here or there... This anthology has some good episodes and some bad ones. I thought the closing one, "To Hell and Back", was quite exceptional. It's about two buddies accidentally finding themselves in hell and it's an excellent showcase of both f@cked up imagery and... a surprisingly amusing and heartwarming bonding tale? "Suicide Bid" was also really effective, leaning into claustrophobic terror. The ending was a bit unnecessary, but the "HOLY SHIT!" moments leave scars. I have mixed thoughts on "Ozzy's Dungeon". It takes awhile to get going and the ending didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I've got to give it some credit. It's unpredictable. I had no idea where it was going. "Shredding" did little for me though. The cast got on my nerves and the pay-off was standard. "The Gawkers" serves as the closest thing to a framing device -- as we see re-occurring vignettes of stop motion army soldiers that eventually tie into this one. Unfortunately, it's also the worst. I'm assuming the filmmakers may have realized this, as that might be why it's not what closes out the anthology. Overall, the good tales were good, the bad ones were... mostly mediocre. 

2.5/4

*Prophecy (1979) *is that somewhat legendarily bad 'nature-runs-amok' flick that nearly killed John Frankenheimer's career... and may or may not have inspired South Park's 'man-bear-pig'... What a legacy! I feel like I've spent my entire life hearing about how terrible this was and only watched it to milk my 'Paramount Plus' free trial a little bit more, but do you know what? I kind of liked "Prophecy". It's not "good", per say, but it's one of those misfires where you can see all of the talent on-screen. You can tell that the director has vision, the cinematographer has skill and the actors are genuinely invested in the material. Even the script showcases some inspired material, from giving characters certain nuances to having something to say about how we treat our environment. Oh, and the much maligned special effects? They aren't... THAT... bad -- okay, they kind of are. But hear me out!

The mutant bear looks good in certain shots. Unfortunately, when in action, it often suspiciously resembles a dude in an unconvincing suit. It does deflate the tension. A few of the creative choices are supposed to be horrifying, but they end up kind of hilarious, such as when we first see the mutant bear. Like I said, the effects aren't always terrible, but when they are they completely pull the movie apart. The good performances, the beautiful scenery, etc. are upstaged by the laughable suit. But... I still found it to be kind of charming. Sometimes "Prophecy" works as a legitimate thriller, with decent suspense and horror. But when it fails... comedic gold... One way or another, I was having a lot of fun with it.

2.5/4

*Dark Glasses (2022)* was intended to be a comeback for Dario Argento, returning him to his giallo roots, although whether or not it's successful is debatable. It's not really easy measuring the quality of a Dario Argento movie, as every viewer will have wildly different perspectives based on their tastes. Even during his prime, critics were often polarized by Argento's works, with words like 'stylish', nonsensical' and 'gratuitous' being thrown around in every review. "Dark Glasses" can also be described as such, for better or worse. The plot is simple -- a serial killer is preying on sex workers in Rome. His latest target, Diana (Ilenia Pastorelli), is left blinded by an attack... and he's not done with her yet... Classic giallo storyline, complete with all of the idiotic decisions that characters make to keep the plot moving. There's... sort of a mystery... although it's very obvious who the killer will be and the reveal is pretty underwhelming.

But plot has always taken a backseat to style in this genre, so does "Black Glasses" have style? Yes, it does! I actually thought this had more of a visual impact than "Giallo" -- Argento's previous supposed 'return to form'. The synthesized score has a hallucinogenic sound, which matches a lot of the imagery. There are also a few really graphic kills, of course delivered by a black gloved killer -- classic Argento. Oh yeah, how could I forget the re-occurring animal motifs? There's a bonkers scene where our heroine finds herself in a swamp with highly aggressive snakes that's somehow both intense and hilarious all at once... Once again, classic Argento.  

But "Dark Glasses" wasn't regarded as a triumph by Argento purists and I'm hesitant to really champion it myself. Something about the whole movie felt... off... The more I thought about it, the more I realized that "Dark Glasses" has the same critical flaw that has been haunting Argento's filmography for the past couple of decades. The pacing doesn't really match his visual style. He no longer seems interested in drawing out suspense or using the imagery to create a mood. The stalking sequences and the attack scenes all feel so rushed, as if Argento is afraid that current audiences would grow impatient... It's possible that COVID restrictions had something to do with this or budget restraints may have limited their schedule, but the last few Argento's movies have been paced this way.

Nevertheless, I'm happy to see Argento dust off his old formula. I think he made a perfectly adequate throwback and if nothing else, at least I can now rest assured that "Dracula 3D" won't be his final film.

2/4


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## MartialHorror (Oct 28, 2022)

*Raven's Hollow (2022) *is one of those movies I almost want to hate because it's so close to being great that its eventual missing of the mark makes it seem so much worse than it actually is. Set during the early 1800's, eventual writer-poet-critic Edgar Allen Poe (William Moseley) is one of five cadets, whose investigation into a gruesome murder leads them to the mysterious town of 'Raven's Hollow'. I love the concept and even though the production values were limited, the settings are still quite moody. There are a handful of effective scenes, such as when Poe makes a horrific discovery in the Church. Yet a few scenes also feel rushed through, leaving absolutely no impact even though they were clearly supposed to be effective. Still -- the villain in general was pretty creepy. 

The cast is mostly good, but I struggled buying Moseley as Poe. To be fair, the script presents him as a vanilla hero, with the only indication that he's supposed to be Edgar Allen Poe being that everyone calls him Edgar Allen Poe. During the finale, his dialogue takes a turn for the worst. He suddenly starts sounding like the characters from his writings, even though he'd never talked like that before. Even worse, this style of speech seems to be contagious, as suddenly everyone is talking like that. I couldn't take it seriously. "Raven's Hollow" could've been great, but as is, it's... alright.

2.5/4 

*Detention (2019) *is a Taiwanese horror, apparently based on a popular videogame. Set during the 1960's, two students find themselves trapped in their school at night, where they experience ghostly encounters. While very much rooted in supernatural horror, "Detention" is also based on the very real 'White Terror' period during Tawain's history, where the Government oppressed its populace, persecuting anything that can be argued as leftist or subversive. I actually thought the political backdrop elevated the movie. There's an underlining tension to every interaction, as you feel like the proverbial 'big brother' is always watching our heroes. The supernatural stuff didn't really work for me though. The school setting was pretty spooky, but the apparitions were meh. It doesn't help that "Detention" is building up to a reveal that's so obvious... that it barely bothers treating it like a reveal... But strangely, the tragic romance was moving and the movie pulled on my heartstrings more than once. "Detention" is a good movie, just not a particularly effective horror movie. 

3/4 

*Eyes of Fire (1983) *is a surprisingly compelling folk horror tale... that may or may not have served as an inspiration for "The VVitch". Set around 1750, on the American Frontier, a gaggle of Pilgrims find themselves a nice valley, equipped with its own cabins. Everything seems swell... for a moment... but there might be a witch out to get them. "Eyes of Fire" is high on atmosphere, with disturbing implications surrounding its spooky imagery. I was also impressed with a lot of the writing. Some of the performances aren't great, but the characters were interesting. The production values were limited, making some of the creative choices odd. The visual effects are often cheap looking, but that doesn't stop the filmmakers from depending on them. Nevertheless, the costumes and setting look good. The 'devil trees' were also effective. "Eyes of Fire" makes a lot of what had to be very little. I dig it. 

3/4 

*The Night Watchmen (2017)* is a highly entertaining splatter comedy. The set-up kind of reminded me of "Demons 2", except it's about a gaggle of security guards who find themselves trapped in a building overrun by vampires. The filmmakers obviously had limited funds at their disposal, so find creative ways of showcasing action and horror. It's very bloody and the comedy kept me laughing, even if a few gags -- such as the 'dancing' and the 'vampires farting' bits -- grew old. But the cast is great, the pacing is swift and when it's funny, "The Night Watchmen" is hilarious.

3/4 

*Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015)* was created by the '5-second films' team, which is apparently a pretty big deal on youtube. Despite what the title suggests, this is not a 'real' sequel. The joke is that the movie was banned in the 1980's, but resurfaced because someone recorded it during its initial airing -- sort of like the "Star Wars Holiday Special", complete with fake commercials and everything. This is very much a parody and it's f@cking weird, sometimes transcending its own weirdness and morphing into some uber-weird that would either be amazing or horrifying with the aid of drugs. But even though I did indeed watch "Dude Bro Party Massacre III" sober, I laughed my ass off. Even when it threatened to become annoying, I still laughed. It's also disgustingly gory, with the kills being far more deranged and creative than most legit slashers. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 22, 2022)

*The Menu (2022)* is one of those movies that are difficult to categorize, but is good enough that its technical genre doesn't really matter. It has its hands in both comedy and horror, without really being either. Wealthy socialites are invited to a private island, where a master chef prepares a menu specifically tailored for them... It's a vague set-up, but much of "The Menu" is steeped in mystery. You're not supposed to know what is going on, but you figure that something sinister is afoot. The ensemble cast includes Ralph Fiennes, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicholas Hoult and John Leguizamo, among others. Everyone has plenty of witty dialogue and are given the opportunities to play off each-other, so one of the dishes on "The Menu" is phenomenal performances. There's a lot of great satire; social commentary; blah, blah, blah -- we get it, the movie is smart. But it is genuinely funny and sometimes even shocking. I loved how much of the suspense builds up to a... hilarious gag... but when you're expecting to laugh, the movie would suddenly turn horrific. It made for a consistently engaging experience. I never knew what to expect.

Oh, and the food looked delicious. 

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Nov 26, 2022)

Joko Anwar's *Satan's Slaves 2: Communion (2022)* is about as good as his "Satan's Slaves" was, although not necessarily in the same ways. The survivors of the first film now live in an apartment complex, but a storm traps them inside... with demonic entities. "Satan's Slaves 2" is very fast paced compared to its predecessor, although somehow, the filmmakers do an exceptional job at building up dread. The abandoned apartment complex made for a moody setting. There's a lot of strange noises, haunting visuals, ominous lighting... great stuff... Now I will say that this sequel never reaches the scary heights of the previous one, but there seemed to be a lot more thrills and chills. The entire second half was practically made up of horror set pieces. Some are quite shocking.

But "Satan's Slaves 2" doesn't really go beyond the superficial. I admittedly struggled remembering the finer details of the first film's story. I also keep forgetting the connection to the 1980 "Satan's Slave", which these are meant to be prequels for. But the story in general just feels a lot weaker. A lot of information is glanced over at the worst times, often leaving me confused as to certain plot twists.  One of the biggest strengths of the 2017 film was that you really grew to care for the characters. All of that family drama was strangely moving. I didn't feel any of that here, even with a lot of the same characters. It doesn't help that when some of them perish, their deaths are seemingly not even noticed by those who shared their arcs. So... why do I think these movies still come out as equal in overall effectiveness? I don't feel like "Satan's Slaves 2" really had the same aspirations as the first film. I think it was going for a more fun, haunted house-esque thrill ride, as opposed to the slow burn, domestic horror that was "Satan's Slaves". I respect that it's not a retread and I can see myself revisiting both films equally, depending on what kind of movie I'm in the mood for.

3.5/4

*The Empty Man (2020)* is a flawed, albeit very compelling example of folklore horror that I'll probably be thinking about for awhile. The set-up is deceptively simple. An Ex-cop (James Badge Dale) agrees to search for a missing girl and stumbles into... something... that may or may not be supernatural. "The Empty Man" initially seems to be recycling the same formula from "The Ring", but it quickly veers off into strange and unpredictable territory. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. That alone kept me in a perpetual state of unease, but a lot of the spooky imagery also stood out as unique. There are a few moments I would even describe as straight up scary (the camp). The cinematography is exceptional -- unusually so, for a modern horror film. The acting is really good, with our protagonist being very likable in spite of his dark cast. Now there are a few creative decisions I wasn't entirely in love with. The prologue is effective on its own, but I don't know if its relevancy to the overarching narrative justified its 25-30 minute long running-time. I also wasn't crazy about the ending, although I'll concede it's very much a love it-or-hate it kind of conclusion. If I would say there's anything bad about "The Empty Man" though, it's... amusingly... the empty man himself. Considering how effective "The Empty Man" is at building up dread, the 'empty man' feels like a gratuitous visual effect that pops out for cheap jump scares.

But I have to admit, when "The Empty Man" works, it... freaked me the f@ck out. Even when it doesn't work, it still kind of enthralled me. As I said, I'll probably be thinking about it for awhile.

3.5/4

*Short Night of Glass Dolls (1971)* is technically considering a giallo, even though it's less violent than what the genre is known for. There isn't even really an explicit murder until around the hour mark. The body of a reporter (Jean Sorel) is found in a park and is pronounced dead upon arrival... except he's not really dead... His heart doesn't beat, his lungs are incapable of breath, his body unable to move, but his mind still works. He tries to piece together what exactly happened to him, hopefully before his scheduled autopsy. It's a good plot and the mystery kept me guessing, although it does still have a lot of the same giallo trappings -- contrived developments, illogical characters, blunt dialogue. The ending goes full on psychedelic horror though, with some of the imagery and tension staying with me long after the end credits rolled.

3.5/4

*Alone in the Dark (1982) *is known for being the first film to be produced by New Line Cinema, as well as starring some heavy hitting actors -- such as Jack Palance, Donald Pleasence and Martin Landau. A regional blackout allows four mental patients with violent histories to escape. Bloody mayhem ensues. The narrative occasionally fumbles, with an ending that leaves you going "Huh?" and a sort of confused approach to mental illness... but "Alone in the Dark" is surprisingly intense. The cast is great, with Palance's strange and unsettling performance in particular giving me the chills. There are also a few genuinely upsetting scenarios, where a little girl finds herself in the sights of a child rapist. You don't really know how f@cked up "Alone in the Dark" is going to become, not helped by the films warped sense of humor. It was a great moment of building tension... and the rest of the movie was pretty good too.

3/4

*Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022) *is an adaptation of the Stephen King novella of the same name, which apparently can be found in his "If It Bleeds" collection. Despite netflix marketing this as a horror film, it's really more of a somber coming-of-age story with a few supernatural elements. Craig (Jaeden Martell) is a normal, somewhat awkward high schooler who is close friends with Mr. Harrigan (Donald Sutherland), an aging billionaire. Mr. Harrigan passes away... but then Craig starts receiving calls from Mr. Harrigan's titular phone. "Mr. Harrigan's Phone" is competently made. The acting is really good, with Martell being endearing as our lead and Sutherland turning in a powerful and nuanced performance. The direction, editing, cinematography, writing, music... all solid stuff... but nothing about "Mr. Harrigan's Phone" really pops out. It's not trying to be scary. It never explores its emotional side enough to be thoroughly profound, although it arguably gets close. I suspect that a lot of this has to do with the short story not providing enough material for a full length feature film. But the overall film is fine, if a little underwhelming.

2.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 3, 2022)

*Violent Night (2022)* has all the holiday cheer that you could want out of a Christmas movie... and a lot of violence too... Santa Claus (David Harbour) might still be delivering gifts to the children who need him, but he's lost the Christmas spirit. December 25th starts off as just another shitty Christmas night for him. He's dropping off gifts; eating cookies and drinking milk -- er, brandy -- when mercenaries storm the household he happens to be in, forcing Santa into action. You see... this plump old elf has a bloody past and for those on his naughty list, he's got a bag full of pain. In all honesty, I was surprised that Harbour's bad-ass interpretation of Santa wasn't presented as an unstoppable force (like John Wick in a red suit). He takes his lumps, which pile up with every fight, leaving you to believe that Santa can indeed be killed. This added a surprising layer of tension in what is obviously a gimmick and a farce. But "Violent Night" is pretty clever with the concept. The action is plentiful and creatively violent, often being built around Christmas puns. It's all very hilarious and gruesome, with the kills becoming increasingly outlandish. Now if the idea of Santa wielding a sledgehammer and delivering holiday themed one-liners before and after bludgeoning bad guys heads in doesn't appeal to you... what to do you expect out of a movie called "Violent Night"? F@ck off, this was awesome.   

3.5/4


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## MartialHorror (Dec 7, 2022)

*Unhuman (2022)* is from the guys behind "The Collector", although this is much more comedic and playful. A gaggle of high schoolers on a field trip find themselves being hunted by what appear to be zombies. "Unhuman" is entertaining enough. It's short, fast paced, has a little bit of wit and a solid cast -- even if their characters are choppily written. There's a twist that I admittedly did not see coming, but you'll either love it or hate it. I tend to lean on the latter, as it embraces the silliness a little too much for my tastes.

2.5/4 

*UFO Abduction (1983)*, also known as "The McPherson Tape", is a 'found footage' movie that actually predates "The Blair Witch Project" by almost a decade. The concept was apparently so novel at the time that ufologists were convinced they were watching actual footage of an alien abduction. This is because the movie itself was thought to be lost in a fire, so lacked any real marketing campaign or record. Bootlegs survived though and made its way through the underground circuit... except without the opening logos or ending credits to clarify that it was a work of fiction. "UFO Abduction" is obviously not 'real', but it does have a strange air of authenticity about it.

 The story takes place over the course of a single night, shown through the lens of an old video camera, purchased to document a birthday party in the middle of nowhere. The running time is lean, clocking in at about an hour. The footage is grainy, shaky and you really feel like the cameraman is using it for the first time -- for better or worse. The cast is working a very naturalized style, often talking over each-other with dialogue that doesn't sound scripted. Either it was shot in one continuous take or was edited to make it resemble one. This was all very groundbreaking for its time, but much like "The Blair Witch Project" or "Paranormal Activity", you'll either find it scary or boring. I think "UFO Abduction" still works and I can almost see why it fooled people. I say 'almost' because the aliens look like dudes in cheap costumes, reminding me a lot of "Scary Movie 3". The ending fell flat for this reason, but overall, I did feel the escalating panic that the characters did. I was invested. Sometimes, I was even creeped out! Not bad, considering the microbudget. 

3/4
*
Glorious (2022)* is somehow both a cosmic horror flick and a satire of cosmic horror -- think the "Cabin in the Woods" equivalent of this genre. This is one of those movies that's difficult to describe as good or bad, as it really just is... is... You either will like its madness, or you won't. I personally loved it. A hungover man (Ryan Kwanten) wakes up in a public restroom, where a god (voiced by J. K. Simmons) speaks to him through a glory hole... Yes, that is a sentence I just wrote... "Glorious" is obviously drawing inspiration from Lovecraft, but like I said, it's also kind of a send-up. The dialogue is on point, being both witty and implicitly terrifying, but Simmons' voice acting has an almost... grandfatherly like quality to it, which is both disturbing and funny at once. Even though I often laughed, there is a real sense of danger to the story. The production values are limited, but what little we see of the 'god' is quite disgusting. There's tension and horror. But "Glorious" is above all else, kind of f@cking odd. I f@cking loved it.

3.5/4  

*Sheitan (2006)* is the latest entry in the "WHAT THE F@CK AM I WATCHING" catalogue that I seem to be making my way through. This was part of the "French New Wave", although it's more psychological than visceral -- but brutal and mean spirited, all the same. Three young douchebags are partying the night away, trying to get laid... and are lured to a house in the isolated countryside... where an eccentric farmhand named Joseph (Vincent Cassel) awaits them. "Sheitan" is one of those cases where you don't know what's going on or why, but you sense that something sinister is afoot. The pacing is deliberately slow, with most of the unease coming from the strange behavior of the countryfolk. Even so, it's hard to tell how we're supposed to feel when these "heroes" aren't likable at all. Not much happens for the first hour, although the finale is pretty crazy. The ending is horrific yet leaves the audience with more questions than answers. "Sheitan" has a lot of good stuff and if nothing else, adds a different spin to the "Hostel" formula, but is also a little unsatisfying.

2.5/4 

*Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972)* was an early film directed by Bob Clark, who would later on go on to do "Black Christmas", "A Christmas Story" and "Porky's". Made on a shoestring budget, this effort didn't leave much of a spash upon release, but would develop a cult following over the years -- which in hindsight, sums up a lot of Clark's movies. "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" is certainly rough around the edges, but it is pretty creepy. A theater troupe head out to a graveyard to dig up a corpse in some morbid game, but accidentally bring the dead back to life. The setting alone is going to be atmospheric, but the spooky fog and macabre imagery work well with the slow pacing. The zombie makeup is surprisingly good for the time. The acting is a little on the wooden side, but there's also a campiness at play that offsets the shortcomings. I don't think "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" was intended to be taken too seriously, although it is still very much rooted in horror. 

3/4


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## MartialHorror (Sunday at 4:24 PM)

*M3GAN (2023) *isn't quite the campy horror film that the marketing campaign made it out to be, but it ended up being a surprisingly good thriller, with a strong balance of tension, dark humor, emotional catharsis and even something to say about our dependance on technology... before eventually descending into campy horror for its third act. Now if I wanted to be 'that guy', I'd happily remind you that the recent "Child's Play" remake already covered a nearly identical storyline and tone, but "M3GAN" just did it better. The titular robot doll is creepy as f@ck and narratively, it just moved at the right pace... and tonal shifts always felt right for audience engagement... Maybe it's a little underwhelming that they didn't push the nightmarish horror of M3GAN being able to hack into all of her surrounding technologies even farther in favor of a... fight scene, but... tell that to the audience I saw this with! They loved it and their approval ended up being contagious. I've also heard some complaints about the PG-13 rating, but this never really felt like that kind of movie. If anything, I think gore would've been somewhat distracting within the context of the storyline. Besides, "M3GAN" made me cringe enough with its limited displays of violence. That 'ear' bit... YEOUCH! So yeah, I think this is definitely worth checking out, which based off the box office numbers, you probably already have. M3GAN is definitely going to be a new horror icon.

3/4

Reactions: Like 1


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## Subarashii (Today at 2:32 PM)

MartialHorror said:


> *M3GAN (2023) *isn't quite the campy horror film that the marketing campaign made it out to be, but it ended up being a surprisingly good thriller, with a strong balance of tension, dark humor, emotional catharsis and even something to say about our dependance on technology... before eventually descending into campy horror for its third act. Now if I wanted to be 'that guy', I'd happily remind you that the recent "Child's Play" remake already covered a nearly identical storyline and tone, but "M3GAN" just did it better. The titular robot doll is creepy as f@ck and narratively, it just moved at the right pace... and tonal shifts always felt right for audience engagement... Maybe it's a little underwhelming that they didn't push the nightmarish horror of M3GAN being able to hack into all of her surrounding technologies even farther in favor of a... fight scene, but... tell that to the audience I saw this with! They loved it and their approval ended up being contagious. I've also heard some complaints about the PG-13 rating, but this never really felt like that kind of movie. If anything, I think gore would've been somewhat distracting within the context of the storyline. Besides, "M3GAN" made me cringe enough with its limited displays of violence. That 'ear' bit... YEOUCH! So yeah, I think this is definitely worth checking out, which based off the box office numbers, you probably already have. M3GAN is definitely going to be a new horror icon.
> 
> 3/4


I’m glad to hear this, I’ve heard really good reviews about it but I thought it was just a campy slasher. I’ll give it a second look


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