# Psychological boundaries



## Polaris (Oct 11, 2018)

They fall into four categories; 

*Soft; *A person with soft boundaries merges with other people's boundaries. Someone with soft boundaries is easily manipulated.

*Spongy; *A person with spongy boundaries is like a combination of having soft and rigid boundaries. They permit less emotional contagion than soft boundaries but more than rigid. People with spongy boundaries are unsure what to let in and what to keep out.

*Rigid; *A person with rigid boundaries is closed or walled off so nobody can get close to them, either physically or emotionally. This is often the case if someone has been physically, emotionally or psychologically abused. Rigid boundaries can be dependent on time, place or circumstances and are usually based on a bad previous experience in a similar situation.

*Flexible; *This is the ideal. Similar to selective, rigid boundaries but the person has more control. The person decides what to let in and what to keep out, is resistant to emotional contagion and manipulation, and is difficult to exploit.

So, what kind of boundaries do you have?

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Lurko (Oct 11, 2018)

Spongey.


----------



## Ishmael (Oct 11, 2018)

Flexible, but rigid a bit as well.


----------



## White Wolf (Oct 11, 2018)

A rigid sponge? I guess


----------



## Jim (Oct 11, 2018)

I can't tell


----------



## Eros (Oct 11, 2018)

Polaris said:


> *Flexible; *This is the ideal. Similar to selective, rigid boundaries but the person has more control. The person decides what to let in and what to keep out, is resistant to emotional contagion and manipulation, and is difficult to exploit.


This sounds like me.


----------



## Cereza (Oct 11, 2018)

Rigid.


----------



## Sequester (Oct 11, 2018)

I fit none of these categories, I don't have problems letting people In my life nor do I pump trust into them. 

I used to be rigid though.


----------



## ~M~ (Oct 11, 2018)

Soft


----------



## Lord Valgaav (Oct 11, 2018)

I'm rigid. I've been all kinds of abused in my life.


----------



## Polaris (Oct 11, 2018)

White Wolf said:


> A rigid sponge? I guess



Heh, that's an amusing way of putting it. Anyway, that makes two of us.


----------



## Jim (Oct 11, 2018)

they seem to all be written negatively


----------



## Polaris (Oct 11, 2018)

Jim said:


> they seem to all be written negatively



Well, the first three ones are unhealthy boundaries from a psychological perspective.


----------



## A. Waltz (Oct 11, 2018)

i honestly have no idea.. i dont try to keep people out, but i dont really see people try to come in either. so is that something im doing or giving off unconsciously? so maybe im rigid but dont notice it.
but i do let some people in even if it takes time. but it's selective for people i want. if i dont want/like that person then i dont really associate with them or let them in.


----------



## Island (Oct 11, 2018)

Where did these categories come from?


----------



## Kitsune (Oct 11, 2018)

It's hard to objectively evaluate oneself, but I think I'm in the "flexible" category. I like to be open to communication and willing to hear what people have to say, but I'm very stubborn about allowing outside influence to exert itself over me. It's important to be open enough to listen and learn, but to keep a very stringent filter what you allow to influence you. It's hard to know how far to go one way or the other, but you  just do you best and hope it's enough.

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## FLORIDA MAN (Oct 11, 2018)

Island said:


> Where did these categories come from?



its a single psychologist's definition

nina brown

website

tl;dr

she's a hack


----------



## Magic (Oct 11, 2018)

MAD said:


> its a single psychologist's definition
> 
> nina brown
> 
> ...


Never heard of this shit, no wonder.


----------



## Phenomenon (Oct 13, 2018)

Spongy for me I'd say.


----------



## mali (Oct 13, 2018)

i think im a blend of soft and rigid in that im easily manipulated but only by the select few people that i love. a sexy mix that does wonders for depression!


----------



## Smoke (Oct 15, 2018)

I'm soft when I'm with a hot chick, and rigid when I meet her pimp.


----------



## Yamato (Oct 15, 2018)

Between rigid and flexible, but more towards rigid.


----------



## lacey (Oct 17, 2018)

Spongy, with rigid tendencies.


----------



## 1337RedGlitchFox (Oct 20, 2018)

Id like to say Rigid due to being raised asian.

But im more of a sponge guy.

Sometimes im left feeling uncaring for someone and another goes "What the fuck? What's wrong with you? How did i raise you to be so fucked up?"

And other times i care too much and someone goes "You dont need to worry about other people. Mind your own business."


Real confusing. Im tis but a young mentlegen constantly being told im wrong or not doing something good enough.

.

So yknow, like an asian.


----------



## Sumu (Nov 6, 2018)

Flexible I guess


----------



## Dr. White (Nov 6, 2018)

Flexible master race


----------

