# The Mating Frenzy [Humor] - Revived!



## MSkyDragons (May 29, 2007)

("Revived" in that this is a new thread because the old thread died due to me not updating for like 3 months due to a broken computer with files I could not access. Plus, the last thread was started by some random person so I didn't have the luxury of being able to edit the first post with new info.)

 Title:

The Mating Frenzy​
Original publish date on fanfiction.net: *7-25-2006*
Most recent update: 

*Main Genre:* *Humor*
Others: Parody, Romance, Crack

Rating: T-M
Rated for: rampant innuendo, suggestive dialogue, and bits of language here and there.

Summary/Premise: After the attacks by Orochimaru and the Sand, Konoha’s population is dangerously low. Desperate times call for extreme measures, and Tsunade issues a priority S class mission to every Leaf ninja: to pair off and start making babies!

Characters appearing in the fic: *All*: Every single naruto character from part1 that is not dead at the time, plus some from part 2.

Pairings: Everybody x Everybody. Probably every single conceivable(ha) het pairing will be explored. Yaoi will not be involved since it would be counter-productive(haha). Though, yaoi hints/jabs are possible, i.e. if so-and-so ninja wonders why so-and-so doesn’t seem so enthused with “making babies” with so-and-so.

Notes:
"The Mating Frenzy" is currently at *2,920 reviews *on fanfiction.net, and according to  it is the *4th* most reviewed Naruto fic on the site. 

Link to Chapter 1: 
I'm also going to post chapters here, since I've had some complain they can't access fanfiction.net for one reason or another.

You may have seen this *comic* on *deviantArt* from the fic:

*Spoiler*: __ 











More comics derived from the fic, here: 

 
Oh, and FYI, I am female. Just to say before you start calling me dude/man etc. and stuff. That happens to me alot in reviews.


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## MSkyDragons (May 29, 2007)

*CHAPTER 1*


(fanart "book cover" by Syng777)

[chapter 1]​?

?

Tsunade looked around the room of her Hokage office. The many shinobi of the leaf village that she had called into the office were staring at her intently, wondering why the emergency meeting had been called. Nearly every single ninja was there: genins, chuunins, jounins, and even a few ANBU....

*Spoiler*: __ 




Naruto could barely keep himself still.

?Kakashi-sensei!? Naruto whispered, ?What?s going on? Why did our mission get canceled??

Kakashi shrugged.

?Er?? Naruto scrunched up his face. Sasuke glared at Naruto with annoyance. Sakura sighed.

Asuma leaned over to Kakashi and whispered into his ear.

?My team?s missions were canceled also, as well as Kurenai?s and Gai?s. Nearly all the missions seem to have been canceled.?

?Hmmm?? Kakashi said.

Suddenly, Tsunade stood up and cleared her throat, signaling the whispering to stop. All the shinobis gave their Hokage their full attention.

?I have called you all to this meeting to explain why all non-emergency missions have been temporarily canceled,? Tsunade began, ?and to issue a special S-class priority mission to every single ninja in Konoha??

There were several looks of surprise and curiosity in the audience of ninja crammed together in the Hokage?s office.

?Every single ninja?? a random jounin repeated.

?Yes,? Tsunade continued, ?How can I explain this?Well, it?s no secret that Konoha is in trouble population wise. So many of our people have been killed off in recent conflicts that there are continually fewer and fewer children that reach the entry level of the ninja academy?By my calculations, after the attacks by Orochimaru, the Sound, and the Sand at the chuunin exam, the next generation of ninjas will be down 85 percent...but of course, I?m no mathematician??

Tsunade took a dramatic pause, ?It will be the death of Konoha.?

In turn there were some dramatic looks from the audience.

?Don?t look so down,? Tsunade smiled, ?I have a rather simple, yet logical solution?by way of the S-class mission.?

There were some hopeful and interested looks among the ninjas, as they hung onto each and every word Tsunade uttered, her breasts bouncing up and down.

?Your mission is?? Tsunade leaned on her desk dramatically.

The shinobis leaned closer and listened intently?except for Kakashi who had gone back to looking at his questionable reading material. Plus the ANBU were in the back playing rock-paper-scissors.

?Your mission, effective immediately, is to pair off, and start making babies as if you were rabbits high off the heat of the mating season.?

Tsunade smiled at the obvious cleverness of her plan.

A few jaws dropped to the floor. Kakashi blinked. Iruka stammered. Jiraiya began to giggle pervertedly. Naruto looked confused. Gai suddenly began to smile and jumped forward giving the thumbs up.

?Ah yes, Hokage-sama! What a grand mission!? Gai?s teeth sparkled, ?I cannot wait to spread my seeds of youthfulness to the youthful women of Konoha! We shall all embrace our youthfulness together!?

Gagging sounds erupted from several ninja in the back as Gai began to trail off, ?I don?t know why I didn?t think of this before??

Tsunade waited for Gai?s outburst to die down before she spoke again.

?Any questions??

Kakashi turned to see Naruto jumping up and down waving his hand in the air. Kakashi sweat-dropped. This couldn?t be good.

?Yes, Naruto?? Tsunade called out to him.

Naruto scrunched up his face and opened his big mouth.

?I don?t understand the mission!? Naruto yelled loud enough for every shinobi in the room to hear, ?What does ?pairing off? have to do with making babies? Don?t you have to get married to have babies? What do you mean ?make? babies? I don?t get it!? Naruto whined.

Tsunade and every other mature person in the room sweat-dropped. Oh dear.

?Oy, Hokage-sama,? Kakashi said as he noticed similar confused faces among the young genins and a certain chuunin, ?I think it is important to note that some of the young nin here seem to have not received the whole ?birds and bees? talk.?

Tsunade sighed.

Naruto looked up at Kakashi, ??the what??

?This is only a minor setback,? Tsunade said turning to Kakashi, Asuma, Gai, Kurenai, and their teams, ?You four, take care of it.?

?What??

?Take them wherever and explain to them the facts of life.?

Kakashi blinked. Asuma looked horrified as his cigarette fell to the floor. Gai smiled and sparkled. Meanwhile, Kurenai checked out Kakashi, Asuma, and Gai.

?Everyone else in the room is dismissed. There will be another meeting later where I will explain more, to the males and females separately.? Tsunade said as she left. She didn?t want to reveal all the juicy details of their mission right off.

And with that, everybody went on their way, leaving Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai to look down at their students? curious and disinterested stares.

?

?

The ?Talk?

?

(Kakashi?s way)

?

(In a shimmering green field in the middle of nowhere?)

?And so then, when the woman and the man love each other very much,? Kakashi smiled mischievously under his mask, ?This happens!?

Kakashi turned to the next page in Come Come Paradise, and held it up for Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke to see.

Naruto?s eyes were so wide they were about to bug out. Sasuke was twitching uncontrollably as blood trickled down his nose. Sakura had a silent scream on her face as she was quickly turning blue.

Kakashi giggled and turned a few pages, and held up the book again, ?And here?s what ?making babies? looks like!?

?

?

(Gai?s way)

?

(Near a bridge with a babbling brook?)

??and so, the lotus blooms from their love for each other,? Gai made some sweeping hand movements and danced around his students, ?So too, can the lotus bloom for you!?

?YAY! GAI-sensei!? Lee clapped enthusiastically as Gai bowed, having just finished his explanation of the ?birds and the bees? through euphemism-filled poetry and interpretive dance.

Neji looked every so slightly ill with embarrassment.

On the other hand, with this new found information, Tenten blushed profusely as she checked out Neji?s ass.

?

?

(Asuma?s way)

?

(At Asuma?s apartment?)

Asuma stared at his students.

Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru stared at him.

Asuma took a drag of his cigarette.

?Uh?sensei?? Ino questioned.

Asuma blinked as though he suddenly remembered something and reached over and got something from his satchel.

?Here?s a porno video. There?s the TV. I?ll be back in an hour?? and with that Asuma left.

Shikamaru glanced at the videotape that was thrust into his hand and blinked.

?Eh??

?

?

(Kurenai?s way)

?

(In a woodland clearing full of flowers?)

?How about open questions time,? Kurenai began, ?Any questions??

Kiba, Hinata, and Shino are silent.

Crickets chirp.

?O?K,? Kurenai sighed, ?How about a demonstration??

?Huh?wha??

That got their attention.

?Kiba!?

?Yes, sensei??

?You be the woman, and Shino can be the man??

Kiba nearly dropped dead. Shino looked slightly worried.

?Hey?wait sensei!? Kiba sounded desperate, ?I don?t need this; I already know this stuff since my family works with dogs?I mean? I saw when Akamaru was born!?

Kurenai smiled. Her students were finally contributing to the discussion.

?Ok, explain it to your teammates, then.?

Kiba?s sweat poured from his face, but then he came up with something.

?Akamaru!?

?Bark! Bark!?

Kiba reached into his satchel and pulled out a stuffed, hand-puppet toy dog and tossed it over to Akamaru.

?Bark! Bark!?

?What?s that?? Hinata asked sheepishly.

Kiba smirked, ?That?s Akamaru?s ?Special Friend???

Akamaru pounced upon his stuffed ?girlfriend.?

?What?is he doing??

?

?

1,000 years of therapy was needed all around.

?

?

To Be Continued

?



?
my comic derived from this chapter:


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## Caitlyn Jenner (May 29, 2007)

posting in a legendary thread..

.Nice first chapter


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## Vance (May 29, 2007)

About fucking time, oh and do, some Kankuro Temari, seriously.


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## Devon 123 (May 30, 2007)

whoa...this...is...AWSOME!!!


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## Kyon (May 30, 2007)

There isn't too much I want to (or can) criticize, so I'll just say keep it up, you're doing a great job so far. Very humourous.


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## Lord Ishi (May 30, 2007)

That was fun to read, Asuma's was the best... The Sand team would be amusing like Vance said...


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## MSkyDragons (May 30, 2007)

*CHAPTER 2*



[chapter 2]​
...
...

Kakashi ignored the squeals emanating from his young students and smiled, flipping to a different section of the book, holding it up for them to see...
*Spoiler*: __ 





?And this, boys and girls, is what a threesome looks like!?

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura?s eyes went wide as they clung to each other in their shared horror. But, once they realized that they were in fact touching, and that they numbered three, they threw their arms into the air, screamed, and backed up 20 yards in different directions away from each other.

?Oy!? Kakashi called out to them, ?Don?t you want to see the chapters on oral sex and foursomes? Those are especially fun!?

?

?

Chapter 2 ? ?The Morning After?the TALK?

?

?

?So, how did your talk with your students go??

Asuma, Kakashi, Gai, and Kurenai were all sitting at a restaurant, having met for breakfast this morning.

Kakashi sweat-dropped.

Gai jumped up on the table, ?It was a youthful display of youthfulness! They loved every moment of my explanation as they breathed in the blooming lotus of love!?

Asuma blinked.

?Well,? Kurenai began, ?My explanation went fine, but it was a bit of a waste in that both Kiba and Shino didn?t even need the talk??

?Really?? the other teachers said.

Kurenai sighed, ?At least Kiba said so, since he?s seen lots of his family?s dogs ?doing it??but it took forever to get Shino to say anything.?

?And??

?It turns out?? Kurenai said, ?that Shino is a sex therapist?to his insects!?

?Whoa?? Asuma?s cigarette fell out of his mouth.

?Yeah, for when the bugs are having?marital?problems??

Kakashi blinked.

?So, Asuma, how did yours go??

Asuma lit up a cigarette, ?Mine went?a little too well.?

That lit up a light bulb of interest in all the instructors? faces.

?Well?? Asuma began as he had a flashback, ?I gave them an? instructional educational video to watch for an hour. But, when I got back, I found Ino with her tongue stuck down Shikamaru?s throat!?

Looks of surprise were found on the other teachers.

Asuma sighed, ?Turns out Shikamaru fell asleep half way through the video, so, since it was dark, Ino decided to practice ?making-out? with Shikamaru, who she pretended was Sasuke.?

There was a pause.

?What did Chouji do??

?Chouji ate popcorn and watched the show.?

?The video??

?No, Ino and Shikamaru.?

There was an awkward silence.

?So?Kakashi, how did your explanation of the facts of life go??

Kakashi shrugged.

?They?ll?live.?

?

?

Tsunade rustled the papers around in her office, as she contemplated her next move. She had nearly finished filling out the mission details of operation ?Multiply Like Rabbits.?

?Shizune!? She called out to her assistant, ?Shizune! I need you to go send out for another ninja meeting!?

?Yes?? Shizune answered.

?Call a meeting for all the male ninjas this afternoon,? Tsunade explained, ?And a meeting for the women tonight.?

?Yes, Hokage-sama,? and Shizune paused before she left the room.

?Hokage-same, is this really a wise idea? Won?t we be weakened if every single woman in the Leaf is pregnant??

?Don?t worry, Shizune,? Tsunade smiled cleverly, ?I?ve already sent out a request to our new allies of the Sand. They?re sending some people over to help with the defense of Konoha.?

The worry left Shizune?s face.

?So go ahead and find yourself a hott studly man, Shizune!? Tsunade smiled.

Shizune saluted enthusiastically, ?Yes, ma?am!?

?

?

After Kakashi?s gentle introduction of the birds and the bees to his team, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura could not even look at each other. Well, actually Naruto and Sasuke could look at each other, but when they looked at Sakura or Sakura looked at them?

?OH GOD! THE MENTAL IMAGES! ACK!?

And so Sakura ran off far away from Naruto and Sasuke to go talk with Ino, and Naruto and Sasuke ran off to go find comfort with their male peers.

...Apparently, the others had a similar idea, because soon, Naruto and Sasuke met up with Chouji, Shikamaru, Neji, Lee, Kiba, and Shino at the local restaurant.

?

?

As they sat round the breakfast table, Sasuke was twitching uncontrollably as blood ran down his nose, Naruto was bleeding from his ears if that?s even possible, Neji looked much paler than usual, Kiba had a raised eyebrow, Shino was just kind of there, and Chouji was chewing so loudly that he couldn?t hear what Shikamaru was saying.

Apparently, after they had arrived for breakfast, Lee had done a stunning reenactment of Gai?s interpretive dance on the facts of life. There had been much gagging all around. But then Shikamaru began to casually describe all the sexual acts that he saw on the porno vid, causing bleeding and fainting all around. And now?

?And so then, I woke up, my mouth tasting like tongue, to Ino yelling ?Oh Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke?,? Shikamaru said plainly, ??It was so troublesome??

Naruto began to laugh as Sasuke started having convulsions.

Lee began to clap because he thought Sasuke was doing an interpretive dance of his own.

Neji had flashbacks to Tenten grabbing his butt.

?Man, I wish some girl would stick her tongue down my throat?? Kiba thought silently.

?

?

Similarly, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten found themselves at a different eating place, you know, the one that Naruto always likes to eat at.

Sakura was in the middle of a rant.

??the horror! ?The mental images! The horror!? Sakura whined, ?My sensei is a pervert!?

?Mental images?? Ino scoffed, ?You should have SEEN that porno video??

Sakura twitched.

?Spill it, sista?!? Tenten exclaimed.

?Well,? Ino smirked, ?It WAS pretty gross?until I envisioned that it was Sasuke on the screen doing those things to ME??

Sakura fumed.

?Oh?? Hinata peeped in her sheepish voice. It reminded her that she had wished that she was Akamaru, and that Naruto was the stuffed toy.

?Ah?? Tenten said dreamily, ?What else??

Ino grinned, ?Later on in the video, there were these two really hott guys that randomly started making out! It was so hot!?

?So?hot?? Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata repeated as if in a trance.

?

?

?ATTENTION! All male ninja?s report to the Hokage?s office!? a random messenger dude was shouting as he ran down the street and past the restaurant.

Unluckily for Naruto and company, they happened to be dining in the same restaurant as their senseis, who quickly noticed them and dragged them off to the meeting with Tsunade.

Except, of course, Kurenai, who is a woman.

Her male students, Kiba and Shino, decided to go with Gai?s team to the meeting, since, out of the three senseis, he seemed the most?normal.

?

?

Of all people, Jiraiya was the first to arrive at Tsunade?s office. Tsunade?s eyebrow twitched involuntarily.

Jiraiya fluffed up his hair, and sprayed his mouth with some fresh breath stuff before waltzing over to Tsunade.

?Hey, baby,? Jiraiya said, leaning on Tsunade?s desk.

Tsunade sighed. He was so obviously drunk.

?Wanna go make some children?? Jiraiya said smoothly.

Tsunade chuckled, leaned back in her chair and put her feet up on the desk.

?Oh, Jiraiya,? Tsunade looked amused, ?You forget my age??

Jiraiya hiccupped, ?Eh??

?I?m menopausal!? Tsunade said, as she heard a door creak.

??your what?? a voice from the back said.

Tsunade looked over to see all the guys from the restaurant that had just walked through the door.

Naruto pulled on Kakashi?s jacket.

?Sensei!? Naruto whined, ?What?s menopause??

Kakashi sweat-dropped.

Not again?

?

?

To Be Continued

?

?


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## WarmasterCain55 (May 30, 2007)

Glad you decided to show up.


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## Vance (May 30, 2007)

Kankuro x Temari? i read every chapter, and jerked off a large quantity of times, please make one chap of Kankuro and Temari flirting... PWEESEE!


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## Eureka (May 30, 2007)

^^Vance, you fail...


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## Vance (May 30, 2007)

Eureka, you phail, and have low rep/posts.

 Yeah, you fail.


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## WarmasterCain55 (May 30, 2007)

Vance said:


> Kankuro x Temari? i read every chapter, and jerked off a large quantity of times, please make one chap of Kankuro and Temari flirting... PWEESEE!


 
Only you....


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## Vance (May 30, 2007)

That posted failed on astronomical levels above Isadili Crest and Uzumaki combined....


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## Caitlyn Jenner (May 30, 2007)

Eureka said:


> ^^Vance, you fail...





Vance said:


> Eureka, you phail, and have low rep/posts.
> 
> Yeah, you fail.



Eureka fails...Vance wins

Victory to Vance.


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## Vance (May 30, 2007)

I know this post may fail, but how do you get two quotes in one post?


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## Reko 3 (May 31, 2007)

It's chaotic, disgusting, and just plain wrong...I love it!


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## barrendesert (May 31, 2007)

Reko 3 said:


> It's chaotic, disgusting, and just plain wrong...I love it!



Amen, brotha.


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## Mellie (May 31, 2007)

luv it!!


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## MSkyDragons (Jun 2, 2007)

*CHAPTER 3*



[chapter 3]​
...
...

Just as soon as Naruto had innocently asked Kakashi-sensei, ?What?s menopause?? did Sasuke slap a hand over Naruto?s mouth and put him in a strangle-hold.  

?Are you NUTS?? Sasuke hissed at him, ?Do you want us ALL to be subjected to something like yesterday AGAIN??...
*Spoiler*: __ 





Kakashi shot Sasuke a serious glare and Sasuke sweat-dropped, immediately releasing Naruto.

Then Kakashi nonchalantly whipped out Come Come Paradise and flipped to the index.

?I know you?ll be just devastated to learn, Sasuke,? Kakashi sighed, ?That there is nothing in my book that covers menopause.?

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief.

?But I want to know what it is!? Naruto whined.

Tsunade sighed as the room filled with more and more male ninja.

?Naruto,? Tsunade smirked, ?There?s no time for that right now. But, I tell you what?I?ll give you a one on one detail-filled explanation all about menopause using my medical book full of big, big pictures of female anatomy later. How?s that??

Naruto smiled, ?Okay!?

?

?

Chapter 3 ? ?Tsunade?s Three Step Program?

?

?

?Since everyone, including the ANBU have arrived,? Tsunade rested her elbows on the desk, ?Let?s begin.?

Some of the male nin decided to sit on the floor since they didn?t know how long the meeting would last.

?So, basically,? Tsunade began, ?I have come up with a three step plan??

Shizune walked up and presented a large and colorful chart/poster for everyone to look at.

Tsunade got up and grabbed a big pointy stick and starting explaining things.

?First, this three step plan hinges on a three month time period, starting today.?

She pointed to some stuff on the chart.

?The first month is set aside for everyone to get to know each other. If you?re married, you can get a head start on popping out babies. If you?ve got a girlfriend, you should consider going ahead and getting married and settling down so that you can start procreating. If you?re single, well, you can take this first month to try to find a significant other. If you happen to be gay, or have had certain? required baby-making ?equipment? damaged or lost in a battle? you are free to leave now.?

Tsunade looked on as a few shinobi got up and left.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as Sasuke took this opportunity to try and sneak out a window, but Kakashi grabbed him by his collar and dragged him back to his seat.

?Now, back to the mission,? Tsunade continued, ?If, by the first month, you all haven?t been productive enough, phase two will take place at the beginning of the second month.?

Eyes followed Tsunade as she walked back over to her desk.

?Certain?conditions and stipulations will be in effect in the second month,? Tsunade smirked, ?In order to speed up?the process.?

A few eyebrows and questioning looks were raised.

?For example, the first week of the second month, I, as Hokage, shall decree that no male ninja may wear any sort of clothing from the waist, up.?

There were a few gasps. Kakashi was so stunned that he dropped Come Come Paradise. It made a thudding sound as it hit the floor.

Tsunade smiled, ?With a bunch of steamy, shirtless, manly-men ninja walking down the street, it shouldn?t take too long for somebody to jump your bones!?

Suddenly it hit Naruto what this meant.

?Yay! I?ll finally get to see Kakashi-sensei?s face!? Naruto nudged Sasuke.

Kakashi looked at his precious book on the floor and twitched uncontrollably.

?Then, if that doesn?t do the job, for the second week of the second month?well? that?s a secret.? Tsunade laughed.

The male ninja gave each other worried looks.

?But, all you need to know is that on the third week, there will be NO PANTS!?

Tsunade pointed to a diagram on the poster of a pants-less ninja drawing.

Several of the men?s eyes nearly bugged out. There were a few protests.

Tsunade shrugged, ?See?this is why you should put forth an effort to spread your ?seeds of youthfulness? as Gai so kindly put it, before next month.?

There was a long pause.

?Um?you said this is a three month plan,? a random jounin gulped, ??what happens in the third month??

Tsunade sat back in her chair.

?It?s simple really,? Tsunade replied, ?For any female nin that still needs a hook up, I will personally pair up with a compatible male. To put it simply you receive a more specific assignment.?

??compatible male?? a different random ninja asked.

?Well,? Tsunade said, ?I guess I would pick a male ninja that has a special bloodline or unique skills?so that it will be passed on for the betterment of Konoha.?

At the mention of ?bloodline? and ?unique skills? Sasuke began to have a panic attack.

In turn, Neji began to twitch.

?Well, I guess that covers it,? Tsunade concluded, ?Any questions??

Silence.

Crickets chirped.

?Can?t we just have an orgy?? Jiraiya yelled from the back, waving his arms.

???

?No.? Tsunade stated sternly.

Just as all the male ninjas were about to leave?

?Oh, I just remembered!

They stopped.

?I have an assignment for everyone due tomorrow. Write your name on a piece of paper. Then, write the names of 5 women you wouldn?t mind having relations with, and why.?

There were a few groans from the nin.

?I need this for my records and it will aid you in completion of the mission, trust me! Dismissed.?

?

?

As Kakashi bent down to pick up his questionable reading material, Gai came up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

?Kakashi, my eternal rival!? Gai exclaimed enthusiastically, ?I have a new challenge for you, since it is my turn to pick!?

Kakashi grimaced slightly.

?I pledge that I will get more chicks than you in three months or as a punishment I will strip naked and do ten thousand cartwheels around Konoha while juggling kittens!? Gai struck a pose with a thumbs up and his signature smile.

Kakashi nearly dropped his book again.

?

?

Kurenai had spent all afternoon looking for the girls. But, finally she found them.

?There you are?? Kurenai said as she walked into Asuma?s apartment.

Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten moved to hide what was on the TV screen and tried to look innocent.

??We?ve got to go to the women ninja meeting with Tsunade in an hour.? Kurenai continued as she began to look curiously at the girls, ?What are you watching??

They slowly uncovered the TV and went back to watching the movements on the screen, totally mesmerized.

?Oh?ah? hmmm.? Kurenai trailed off as she took a seat.

Soon they were all munching popcorn? red blushes spreading across their faces.

?

?

It wasn?t long before Kakashi, Asuma, and Gai had their male students out in the middle of a field, ?helping? them to fill out their ?homework? from Tsunade. And when I say ?helping? I mean forcing.

Oh, and Kiba and Shino were there also.

Naruto was having a hard time coming up with names. He scrunched up his face.

Kiba was having fun thinking up all the girls he?d love to bang.

Shino, like Sasuke, was staring at a blank piece of paper.

Sasuke was still twitching. Kakashi noticed his dilemma.

?Sasuke,? Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder, ?This is a trying situation for everyone. I realize that it is difficult?but didn?t you once say one of your goals in life was to revive your clan? This is the perfect opportunity.?

And with that, Kakashi smiled and walked off to stare at his blank piece of paper.

Kakashi looked over to see Gai scribbling furiously, all the while flashing smiles and thumbs ups. Kakashi sweat-dropped.

A little ways over, Chouji was too busy eating to write anything, and Shikamaru was napping.

By the time Sasuke finished flashbacking, angsting, and brooding over the mention of reviving his clan, Naruto was done with his list.

But, then, with great resolve, Sasuke began to fill out his list, sweat pouring from his brow.

After about an hour he and a few of the others were done.

?

?

(Naruto?s list)

Name: Naruto the future HOKAGE!

1. Sakura? reason: Sakura is awesome and pretty and smart and?stuff!

2. Hinata? reason: She?s nice but she seems kinda quiet?

3. Tenten? reason: She?s a girl, right?

4. Ino? reason: I don?t know many girl names!

5. Uh?Sakura again? reason: I don?t know anybody else!

?

?

(Sasuke?s list)

Name: Sasuke Uchiha

1. Tenten? reason: Not obsessed with me.

2. Hinata? reason: Not obsessed with me.

3. Sakura? reason: Then maybe she would shut up.

4. Ino? reason: Then maybe she would shut up.

5. Any other girl my age? reason: I don?t care.

?

?

(Shino?s list (which he arranged not by importance, but in alphabetical order))

Name: Shino

1. Hinata? reason: breathing female.

2. Ino? reason: breathing female.

3. Sakura? reason: breathing female.

4. Shizune?reason: breathing female.

5. Tenten? reason: breathing female.

?

?

As Kakashi tapped his pencil in contemplation, trying to decide what to write, he happened to look over at Gai, who smiled and held up his papers to see.

Kakashi blinked.

Gai had written ten pages worth of names.

?

?

To Be Continued

?

?




 Oh, and Chapter 25 was just posted on FF.net.


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## Vance (Jun 2, 2007)

Make some Kankuro and Temari, please!!! It's good.


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## Jareth Dallis (Jun 2, 2007)

Please say there will be a tiny smidge of NaruTayu in the fic. I like the idea of Naruto with a passionate yet violent girl.


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## Zethios (Jun 2, 2007)

Personally I would have siad:

I'm not dead yet. I feel better! 

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuvB7j9n-II[/YOUTUBE]

... 


*This fic is so full of win, that it has its own gravitational pull. It's quite literally suckin me in.*



P.S. _After posting this_, i went onto your FF author pro and I see Monty Python and Trigun

In the same title. 

With this very scene.

...

win?


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## Shirker (Jun 2, 2007)

I've been followin' this story for a while on ff.net. Pretty funny stuff du...*gets gun pointed at head*..uuuudet ^_^''

Keep it up, and post a new chapter on ff soon  


*Spoiler*: __ 



ps: BTW, my pen name's BX3 on fanfiction.net. Just thought you'd like to know.


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## Codi Kenhai (Jun 3, 2007)

I read all the chapters that you posted on ff.net. One of the best and funniest ffs I've ever read.


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jun 3, 2007)

Please tell me that you plan on have NaruSaku sex soon.


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## Jareth Dallis (Jun 5, 2007)

Oh and have sone NaruIno! That stuff just rules!


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## WarmasterCain55 (Jun 5, 2007)

Make it a NaruSakuIno PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE LOVE NARUSAKUINO!!!!!!!!

Or you can do them seperatlly


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## Pentavus (Oct 23, 2007)

Nice fic keep it up! :Naru2


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## Lord Bishop (Oct 23, 2007)

This thread is epic win.


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## Uchiha Min-no-ko (Nov 2, 2007)

About Temari x Kankurou
Err. . .
Isn't it a consensus that they're sibs?


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## jutsumaster360 (Jan 27, 2008)

thanks for the post!


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## Temari#1 Fan (Feb 18, 2008)

I think the fanfic is really funny!can't wait to read the rest.FF.net doesn't work on my computer.


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