# Real Life vs. Pokemon Universe



## Chocolate Donut (Apr 6, 2011)

All the Pokemon are distributed throughout Asia. 
There 10x of each Pokemon species excluding Legendaries. 
Everyone is Bloodlusted. 
Anime, Games, and Manga feats are all allowed. 
Arceus and the Dragon Trio are restricted. 

Who wins?

EDIT

Wait, on second thought,maybe I should restrict Mewtwo. Okay, after mulling it over, he's restricted.

SECOND EDIT

All Legendaries are banned.


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## neodragzero (Apr 6, 2011)

No one wins. Even with the restrictions, we're stuck with a Pokemon Armageddon that even the Christian nuts that fear Pokemon could never hope to foresee.


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## Chocolate Donut (Apr 6, 2011)

Is it really that much of a rape? I mean, we have nukes that can destroy almost every Pokemon. Really, the only threat seems to be the Legendaries, and Kyogre and Groudon don't work well with each other.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 6, 2011)

Chocolate Donut said:


> Is it really that much of a rape? I mean, we have nukes that can destroy almost every Pokemon. Really, the only threat seems to be the Legendaries, and Kyogre and Groudon don't work well with each other.



Before I joined NF I was lurking around and found that there were "Narutoverse vs real world" threads where we stomped and also HST.

It appears that people heve think that because we stomped Narutoverse and HST they think we are a haxx universe when it is the contrary, we stomped Narutoverse and HST because of how low they are compared to other fictions.

Seriously real life has to be one of the verse with the most lame physical laws, a verse with our physical laws stomping fictional ones is basically a mark on shame on a fictional world that modern nations are capable of beating them.

So no, we shouldnt be put against pokemon and other stuff because we are fucking low at the powerscale just happen that there are fictions that are even lower than us. Our verse has one of the most if not the most shittiest physical laws and limitations.

Unless you want to include elements like God, Jesus, yogis that can reset universes, Swami Ramalinga, the causal beigns of Yogananda's stories and aliens we have zero chance against most of the fictional verses possibly with HST beign the only exception. If they are included then it is an stomp the other way around.

Pokemon rapes.


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## bank9228 (Apr 6, 2011)

Kyogre just uses surf and half of america is gone, then groundon turns the other half into a desert


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## Zatono (Apr 6, 2011)

If they're all literally in Asia, and we're truly bloodlusted, we nuke the shit out of them with anything we have, including Tsar Bombs. The legendaries are just too big of a threat. Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza would lolstomp us if we don't immediately nuke. 

It'd be a completely different story if they were spread through the entire world though.


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## Shock Therapy (Apr 6, 2011)

pokemons stomps so badly.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 6, 2011)

Zatono said:


> If they're all literally in Asia, and we're truly bloodlusted, we nuke the shit out of them with anything we have, including Tsar Bombs. The legendaries are just too big of a threat. Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza would lolstomp us if we don't immediately nuke.
> 
> It'd be a completely different story if they were spread through the entire world though.



What is a nuke going to do to Arceus?

Unless spiritual elements come into play, there is no way we win.


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## Black Sabbath II (Apr 6, 2011)

Didn't Rayquaza do some shit with meteors?


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## Zatono (Apr 6, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> What is a nuke going to do to Arceus?
> 
> Unless spiritual elements come into play, there is no way we win.



At least read the OP. Arceus and the dragon trio are restricted. Also, here's a scale to show how powerful a Tsar bomb is.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 6, 2011)

Zatono said:


> At least read the OP. Arceus and the dragon trio are restricted. Also, here's a scale to show how powerful a Tsar bomb is.



Oh I see, still I dont see a nuke taking down Mew and Mewtwo who will simply teleport to space anyway. Mew and Mewtwo rape by simply drowining us from space.


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## Zatono (Apr 6, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> Oh I see, still I dont see a nuke taking down Mew and Mewtwo who will simply teleport to space anyway. Mew and Mewtwo rape by simply drowining us from space.



Mewtwo is restricted as well, and Mew hasn't really shown feats like that as far as I know, though you could definitely make the argument that it could via powerscaling.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 6, 2011)

Zatono said:


> Mewtwo is restricted as well, and Mew hasn't really shown feats like that as far as I know, though you could definitely make the argument that it could via powerscaling.



A nuke isnt going to take out all pokemons. Also you CANT kill Celebi, if you do all his incarnations from all previous and future seconds will come and revive him.

Celebi rapes by fucking story so modern nations never exist.
Jirachi rapes by reality warping our already pathetically weak (unless you take spiritual and cosmic elements in) verse into something that would be raped by Narutoverse.


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## Kurou (Apr 6, 2011)

We shut down Nintendo


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## Orochibuto (Apr 6, 2011)

~Strike Man~ said:


> We shut down Nintendo




Eh...... actually this would most likely play at our disadvantadge than our favor Satoshi realize his creations have come alive. He then decides all pokemonverse thinks "I must obey Satoshi" and then Satoshi rape us.

Anyway or another we lose.


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## randomsurfer (Apr 6, 2011)

Do we get master ball?


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## Solrac (Apr 7, 2011)

By real life, I assume you're excluding real-life religion Gods/deities/entities/forces or whatever religious/mythical/legendary figure that is debated to exist and that you're only limiting this to just the mundane world as we know it with all the houses, cats, dogs, grass, trees, police, gangsters, us green berets, us marines, other special forces units, wrestlers, karateka, various other professional martial artists, fearsome jungle animals, tanks, helicopters, diseases, et cetera et cetera...

Any legendary pokemon could solo. Hell the Ditto's and any ghost pokemon working together could pull this off handily.



Orochibuto said:


> Before I joined NF I was lurking around and found that there were "Narutoverse vs real world" threads where we stomped and also HST.
> 
> It appears that people heve think that because we stomped Narutoverse and HST they think we are a haxx universe when it is the contrary, we stomped Narutoverse and HST because of how low they are compared to other fictions.
> 
> ...



This post pretty much sums up all of my thoughts for this match. But to be fair, senor Orochibuto, it is our world, the REAL world, that created all of those so-called "fantastic" and "cosmic-level" physics for all of fiction. Without the real world, fiction would never ever exist and I dare anyone look at me straight in the eye that fiction will still exist without our God-given human minds and senses for fruitful imagination.


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## Solrac (Apr 7, 2011)

~Strike Man~ said:


> We shut down Nintendo



Take that back, fool.  

This is only the pokeverse we're dealing with, not all of the big N, son.


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## Eldritch Sukima (Apr 7, 2011)

We get destroyed, regardless of how many nukes we use.


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## Bioness (Apr 7, 2011)

Why the hell would we nuke that area? and what kill off all the humans of the planet?

Hell every Psychic Pokemon can just teleport themselves or the Nuke


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## jetwaterluffy1 (Apr 7, 2011)

Zatono said:


> If they're all literally in Asia, and we're truly bloodlusted, we nuke the shit out of them with anything we have, including Tsar Bombs. The legendaries are just too big of a threat. Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza would lolstomp us if we don't immediately nuke.
> 
> It'd be a completely different story if they were spread through the entire world though.



If you use that many nukes, the world would go into a Nuclear winter, and we'd all die anyway.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 7, 2011)

Asassin said:


> This post pretty much sums up all of my thoughts for this match. But to be fair, senor Orochibuto, it is our world, the REAL world, that created all of those so-called "fantastic" and "cosmic-level" physics for all of fiction. Without the real world, fiction would never ever exist and I dare anyone look at me straight in the eye that fiction will still exist without our God-given human minds and senses for fruitful imagination.



Doesnt change the fact that if they existed they would stomp us and horribly with their way more flexible realities. Unless you include supernatural and alien elements our verse is one of the most if not the most limited one, if you include them well we stomp everything but if it just modern nations our verse will be renamed butthole in conmemoration of the rape of epic proportions we are about to receive.


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## Solrac (Apr 7, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> Doesnt change the fact that *if they existed* they would stomp us and horribly with their way more flexible realities. Unless you include supernatural and alien elements our verse is one of the most if not the most limited one, if you include them well we stomp everything but if it just modern nations our verse will be renamed butthole in conmemoration of the rape of epic proportions we are about to receive.



Well I see you what you mean, too, mate. 

But the fact that most universes would stomp us (barring Gods/deities/figures/forces/entities from religion/mythos obviously and possibly observable deep space phenomena like black holes, big bangs, etc.) is ONLY if we take said fictional universes AS real as us and even then I'd still be bold enough to say that if we kept all their respective authors/writers/creators away from the fictional characters we're fighting in the most clandestine, isolated, and sheltered areas possible, then we would have a chance to get them to retcon all their creations to being as weak as say your baby cousin. 

Still, a part of this kinda makes me feel awkward to the max when I say that in the past, whenever I asked a match-up between a fictional character and a real person like you and me, they always say that the real person wins, despite the fact that this is a fight and not about "who's real or not" and that the ficitonal characters have superior stats and abilities. And I get annoyed when people do that to my favorite fictional characters.

And now, whenever I ask the same question on forums like these, people do the reverse and say that fictional characters would win, despite the fact that without real people to create or preserve fiction, the fictional characters wouldn't exist in the first place and would thus be impotent. And I get annoyed when people do that to real person/figures that's actually important to me and everyone else. 

Don't conundrums that slide towards both sides of the gamut that are opposite to whatever you're currently feeling, like these just piss you the goddamn hell off?


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## sadino (Apr 7, 2011)

Poké-verse has Gary Motherfucking Oak,we don't stand a chance.


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## Amari (Apr 7, 2011)

We get raped so bad.


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## skiboydoggy (Apr 7, 2011)

Loooool

10x Machamp throws the Himalayas at us.


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## Big Bοss (Apr 7, 2011)

skiboydoggy said:


> Loooool
> 
> 10x Machamp throws the Himalayas at us.



This would be a very tragic but funny scenario.


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## Deer_Hunter_ (Apr 7, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> Before I joined NF I was lurking around and found that there were "Narutoverse vs real world" threads where we stomped and also HST.
> 
> It appears that people heve think that because we stomped Narutoverse and HST they think we are a haxx universe when it is the contrary, we stomped Narutoverse and HST because of how low they are compared to other fictions.
> 
> ...



Russia's 12,000 nukes beg to differ.


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## Ultimate Deathsaurer (Apr 7, 2011)

Everyone forgetting the Lake Guardians? Ignoring them since they should have been restricted with the other big guns Celebi still solos. There is literally nothing you can do to it. Deoxys solos via pocket dimension hax. Zekrom could solo by overloading all our tech, granted this would take awhile. God forbid someone made a wish with Jirachi... Ghost types, dear god ghost types. Groudon meets the Ring of Fire? Hell if Groudon is near a super volcano that'd be awful. And we'd never get Rayquaza out of space no matter what we tried.


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## philharmonic21 (Apr 7, 2011)

Ultimate Deathsaurer said:


> Everyone forgetting the Lake Guardians? Ignoring them since they should have been restricted with the other big guns Celebi still solos. There is literally nothing you can do to it. Deoxys solos via pocket dimension hax. Zekrom could solo by overloading all our tech, granted this would take awhile. God forbid someone made a wish with Jirachi... Ghost types, dear god ghost types. Groudon meets the Ring of Fire? Hell if Groudon is near a super volcano that'd be awful. And we'd never get Rayquaza out of space no matter what we tried.



Yeah, you really should have banned the Lake Guardians too. Still doesn't give us a chance in hell though even if they're banned but in the interest of fairness you could at least do that much.

Anyway pretty much this, Pokemon destroys us.


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## ~BLAZxBLUE~ (Apr 7, 2011)

We all die a horrible death.


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## Solrac (Apr 7, 2011)

Kanade Tachibana said:


> We all die a horrible death.



yeah what did the real world do to deserve this rapestomp...

oh wait... oh yeah... and all the crappy people and crappy stuff in it... that's what.


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## Chocolate Donut (Apr 7, 2011)

Okay, since people find this to be too much of a rape, from now on, all Legendaries are restriced. Now I think the rape has been reversed, unless you use the "lolPikachu is hypersonic because he intercepted lightning!" argument. Seriously, real-life beat the HST.


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## Mintaka (Apr 7, 2011)

We kill the creator of pokemon and erase all references to it.

They all die from not existing any longer.


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## zenieth (Apr 7, 2011)

What is this Lake trio you speak of Deathsaurer?

On topic: Rayquaza makes our flight zone it's collective bitch.


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## Skywalker (Apr 7, 2011)

We get our shit wrecked.


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## Ultimate Deathsaurer (Apr 7, 2011)

Chocolate Donut said:


> Okay, since people find this to be too much of a rape, from now on, all Legendaries are restriced. Now I think the rape has been reversed, unless you use the "lolPikachu is hypersonic because he intercepted lightning!" argument. Seriously, real-life beat the HST.



Still have Ghost types that can phase through shit, create illusions, and worst of all have been known to steal souls. And just where the hell did that Haunter get that bomb?



zenieth said:


> What is this Lake trio you speak of Deathsaurer?



The only things in the franchise I hate more than fucking Pikachu. Worthless jobbers...


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## Chocolate Donut (Apr 7, 2011)

Seriously? Did nobody read my post saying all the Legendaries are banned? I certainly don't think this is a stomp anymore.


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## Bioness (Apr 7, 2011)

Ghost, Psychic, Dragon, and Fighting types crush us, Legendaries aren't needed


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## Orochibuto (Apr 7, 2011)

Deer_Hunter_ said:


> Russia's 12,000 nukes beg to differ.



No it doesnt, seriously with all the material we have we are life wipers at best, unless you include supernatural and alien elements we get raped by almost anyverse. Seriously we are fucking low in the verse powerscale.

In almost any fiction if not outright any fiction 1 single person is enough to fuck or bless the world. Here to just have a chance at causing a major level nationwide (let alone worldwide) you need millions of people, here the only way you can cause something great is through henchemen, you simply cant compare.


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## Solrac (Apr 8, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> No it doesnt, seriously with all the material we have we are life wipers at best, unless you include supernatural and alien elements we get raped by almost anyverse. Seriously we are fucking low in the verse powerscale.
> 
> In almost any fiction if not outright any fiction 1 single person is enough to fuck or bless the world. Here to just have a chance at causing a major level nationwide (let alone worldwide) you need millions of people, here the only way you can cause something great is through henchemen, you simply cant compare.



Just curious... I know that there's a slim possibility that aliens or life-forms outside of our planet might exist, but exactly what are the said alien elements you're talking about?


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## Orochibuto (Apr 8, 2011)

Asassin said:


> Just curious... I know that there's a slim possibility that aliens or life-forms outside of our planet might exist, but exactly what are the said alien elements you're talking about?



Hypotethical life forms outside our earth that may exist, the same for spiritual elements. You know like if someone was saying "Realworldverse isnt weak because it may have aliens that can use lightspeed travel, etc.".


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## skiboydoggy (Apr 8, 2011)

Does nobody realise that the reason why Team Rocket never pulls a gun on you is because the average Rattata is more dangerous than any rifle?


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## Amari (Apr 8, 2011)

Pokemon makes us a new asshole.


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## Ultimate Deathsaurer (Apr 8, 2011)

Seriously, Ghost types still win this. They run around pulling every Pokemon's soul out and they all go on a semi-tangible trolling spree that we still have no counter for.


Gonna ban them next?


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## Crimson Dragoon (Apr 8, 2011)

this thread


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## Solrac (Apr 8, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> Hypotethical life forms outside our earth that may exist, the same for spiritual elements. You know like if someone was saying "Realworldverse isnt weak because it may have aliens that can use lightspeed travel, etc.".



For me, aliens are far far more shrouded in mystery than religion Gods as to what they can actually do and stuff. So that's why I tend to "ignore" them for the real-world.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 8, 2011)

Ultimate Deathsaurer said:


> Seriously, Ghost types still win this. They run around pulling every Pokemon's soul out and they all go on a semi-tangible trolling spree that we still have no counter for.
> 
> 
> Gonna ban them next?



Lol indeed, not even Arceus can fight a literal ghost.



Asassin said:


> For me, aliens are far far more shrouded in mystery than religion Gods as to what they can actually do and stuff. So that's why I tend to "ignore" them for the real-world.



Yes, I understand that was my point, we get totally destroyed unless these elements are taken for a match.


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## Solrac (Apr 8, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> Yes, I understand that was my point, we get totally destroyed unless these elements are taken for a match.



You could also throw in deep space or cosmic phenomenon like black holes, big bang, big crunch, quasar rays, etc. for the real-world, but then that would probably result in mutually assured destruction between us and fictional universes that have no durability/defense against these sort of things.


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## Orochibuto (Apr 8, 2011)

Asassin said:


> You could also throw in deep space or cosmic phenomenon like black holes, big bang, big crunch, quasar rays, etc. for the real-world, but then that would probably result in mutually assured destruction between us and fictional universes that have no durability/defense against these sort of things.



Indeed, guess if you take natural phenomena in we arent so low. Though without consious forces directing them I am not so sure if they would count.


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## Solrac (Apr 8, 2011)

Orochibuto said:


> Indeed, guess if you take natural phenomena in we arent so low. Though without consious forces directing them I am not so sure if they would count.



well these sorts of things can happen at any time. Besides religion/mythical Gods, deities, and heroes, they're what give the real world a significant power boost against a lot of fictional universes.


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## Archangel Michael (Apr 9, 2011)

we can give them a fight even if its for a little while.  pokemon has lots of  inconsistency and when has Machamp every shown such feat?   We  still get rape.


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