# Naruto's Journey: Time Again



## Catterix (Jul 15, 2008)

Hey, I've finally decided to do a fanfic. I was never sure exactly what to write for one, as most things I do are based around long, overly complicated plot lines and need a lot of time invested into them. I wanted to write something simple, slick and enjoyable, so I read one or two fics here for inspiration, and then came up with this.

*Naruto's Journey: Time Again*

Set during Naruto's training with Jiraiya, the two of them are suddenly attacked by a pair of Ninja. One of whom, a boy uncannily similar to Naruto, holds a dark secret. The story focuses on the aims of many of the characters in Naruto and how so many things in the story are affected by things happening before; the theory of causality. And how one simple thing, can affect millions.

This is the first chapter, it's quite short, but I hope you enjoy it 


*Spoiler*: _Chapter One_ 



Chapter 1

	Sometimes life can be easy, and sometimes life can be hard, for Naruto, life was bloody agonising sometimes. Today rather, the agony was solely concentrated on the ends of his rather elongating toes.

	“Tell me again why I have to do this, Sensei?” Naruto grumbled, looking up at the gallant Jiraiya sitting on the rock above him. Looking over his cup of Sake, Jiraiya peered down at the fourteen year old, who was dangling over the deep waterfall by individual ropes tied to each of his toes. 

	“A ninja can never be a ninja, until he has mastered pain in every bit of his body.” Said the Sannin absently, as he peeked a look in his telescope at another sort of… body. There were twelve of them. No older than about twenty, the girls sat at the edge of the rock pool, splashing their feet. They were completely naked, by the way. Just in case you hadn’t realised.
“Yeah right!” Naruto shouted over the churning water, “You just wanna peek at the girls!!”

“Keep your voice down!” Jiraiya shouted, “A ninja can never be a ninja until he has mastered the art of silence… and of course, those babes might hear you.”
“Oh, I bet you mastered the art of silence real early.” Muttered Naruto, “What, were you about nine the first time you sneaked into a girls’ bathroom?”
“What was that?” asked Jiraiya, cavalierly plucking at the main rope connecting the ones holding Naruto, upside down, above the water a hundred feet below. Accepting the threat, Naruto folded his arms and fell silent, dangling there upside down.

“Ohohoho!” Jiraiya cackled, “Yes, that’s it girls! Dance! Dance in that water! Yes, you want to get nice and wet!” It was at that moment that the precipice he was balanced on began to rock side to side ever so slightly.
“ERO SENNIN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!” Naruto screamed, noticing the rhythmic rocking. At the sound of his voice, the girls all screamed and ran for their towels. 

“No, my darlings!” Jiraiya cried, leaping upwards, in doing so, accidentally dislodging Naruto’s rope. There was perhaps a moment’s pause before Naruto realised he was falling. With just enough time to shout; “You perverted, wrinkly balled-” Naruto hit the water, rope and all.

-

Hidden within the leaves, not half a mile away sat a young man. With fiery red hair that seemed to glow in the setting sun’s light, the boy peered at the manic endeavours before him. He gave a small laugh at the sight of the blond boy beating the old man with a tree branch; it looked like so much fun. Stifling his laugh, he regained what he called his “angry face” and continued to peer through the leaves.

“That,” said the man behind him, “Is the Sanin Jiraiya. And that, is Naruto Uzumaki, your target.”

-

“Master every pain in my body?!” Naruto was shouting, as he thwacked Jiraiya around the head again, “I’ll master the pain in yours first!” And with a roar of rage he swung the stick up between Jiraiya’s legs with a sickening crunch. The old ninja gave a small whimper of pain, his eyes bulging, before finally buckling. “Let’s see where your blood rushes to now!” Naruto barked triumphantly as Jiraiya rolled on the floor, holding his gonads. 

There was, perhaps a moment’s pause before Jiraiya lunged forward. Grabbing Naruto with one arm he leapt through the air, just as the ground beneath them exploded. Somersaulting, Jiraiya spun in midair, landing atop a tree branch. 

Naruto stared up at him, the old man’s eyes were lean, concentrated. Just at the mere sight of this, Naruto felt a quiver of fear. He’d never seen the Sannin like this before; it meant danger. But what scared Naruto more was that it was clear that his master didn’t know what kind of danger.

“Down!” Hissed Jiraiya, falling flat against the branch, as the top half of the tree was suddenly separated from the rest. Naruto stared as one hundred yards of tree flew through the air and came crashing down amongst its brothers, sending birds and dust flying. 

Naruto felt Jiraiya throw him as the branch they were clinging to shattered into tiny shards of bark. Concentrating his chakra, Naruto landed his feet against the trunk of a nearby tree, but not before that too vanished into an array of spinning splinters. Leaping away, Naruto threw a kunai at a fleeting shadow, but it hit dirt. 

Landing upon the grass, Naruto looked up to find where Jiraiya had gotten to, but his master had gone.




Comments really appreciated as this is my first fanfic.


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## S?phi? (Jul 15, 2008)

OOoo.. I like it!! +rep
More!! Please!!


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## Catterix (Jul 15, 2008)

Oh, thanks a lot! 

Yay. I'll post another chapter up tomorrow. These chapters are only like 2 pages long (though they may get longer) so it's fairly easy to write them.


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## S?phi? (Jul 15, 2008)

Aha. Alright. Can't wait!!
I hope Jiraiya gets some action in.
I'm a big fan of that pervert.


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## Even (Jul 16, 2008)

That was great Me likes  Studio Pierrot should hire you to write their fillers instead of the guys they have now


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## Nayrael (Jul 16, 2008)

Even said:


> That was great Me likes  Studio Pierrot should hire you to write their fillers instead of the guys they have now



Seconded


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## Catterix (Jul 16, 2008)

Yaay! Thanks for the nice comments 

Anyway, here's Chapter 2!


*Spoiler*: __ 



Chapter 2

	Jiraiya leapt through the air as a barrage of shuriken soared towards him. He spun on the spot, his hair wrapping around his body, deflecting every blade. Grabbing a nearby branch, Jiraiya used it to propel himself through the leaves. He would have to leave Naruto alone for the moment.

	There was something ahead of him, through the trees, something big, but fast. At that moment a fist swung out through the leaves to his right, catching the Sannin square in the face. They were frozen for perhaps a second before Jiraiya began to fall, but his hands had grabbed hold of the attacking fist and as he fell, he pulled with him his attacker.

	The man was tall, with brilliant blond hair. And in the passing beams of light, Jiraiya saw the man whip out a knife. The assassin struck as they fell but the old man was too fast, he turned in midair, bringing his arms down and throwing the attacker into the ground. Dust exploded around them as the ground broke apart. 

	Jiraiya landed amongst the dust and his hand flew down to where the body lay before it could move. Grabbing the man by the collar, Jiraiya raised his face to meet his own. 

	“Who are you?” he asked, but the man didn’t respond, he merely stared at Jiraiya was a glare of contempt. “Buddha would only forgive a man twice.” Jiraiya breathed, “Now, who are you? Do you know those girls?” The man did nothing but stare at Jiraiya. They remained there for a second, Jiraiya peering into the silent killers eyes. In which, he saw the smallest flit, as the man looked over Jiraiya’s shoulder. And as he did, Jiraiya swung his muscular arm round behind him, catching the blade inches from his spine.

	“Oh please…” Scoffed the Sannin, looking at the two identical men on either side of him, “You think I wouldn’t recognise a Bunshin?”

	“It seems not.” Said a voice from above. Jiraiya looked up to see the blond man standing above, arms folded up against the trunk of a tree. “And by the way, those are not merely bunshin.”

	No sooner had he said that than the two clones suddenly burst. Their forms exploding into an unformed mass, they collapsed onto Jiraiya, weighing him down. And a second later, they had solidified. 

	“Rock bunshin have an uncanny ability morph into rock formula whenever I so wish.” Said the blond man, stepping away from the tree. “You’re now trapped under about half a tone of granite. How does it feel frog hermit?” He sneered, “You won’t be able to catch any flies from under there.”

	“I don’t intend to.” Said Jiraiya, “You see, I am the master of the toads. And you, are merely a fly.” He smiled as a massive tongue whipped out through the gaps in the trees and enveloped the blond man. Lifting him into the air, the toad leapt onto the scene. Large, and red with deep yellow eyes, it looked up at its captive, his hands tied against his sides, no weapons in reach. 

	But there was a shower of red rain and the man hit the floor, landing neatly. He unrolled the severed tongue and threw it against a tree as the bleeding frog continued to scream in pain. He gave Jiraiya a little wave and vanished up into the leaves.

	“Oh hell!” Jiraiya snapped, grating his teeth, as, with one swing of his arms, he broke free of the granite holding him down. Picking up the long, pink tongue, he handed it back to the weeping toad, “Here, try and glue it back on. Sorry.” He smiled as the frog vanished in a burst of dust. Now it was time to find that Ninja again and discover just what his mysterious power was.


-


	“Ero Sennin!” Naruto called again. It’d only been a few minutes, but even Naruto remembered from the Academy what a few minutes could mean on the battlefield. He ran into a clearing, following the sound of the crash he’d heard earlier. The moment Naruto passed through the gap in the trees, he froze.

	There was a small crater of broken earth in the centre of the clearing, and next to that lay rubble as if a boulder had shattered. And off to one side… Naruto swallowed with shock, was a thin coating of blood. He made two steps forward before pausing again. What had happened here?

	Panic began to rise within Naruto; he was standing, alone with no teacher, at the scene of what looked like someone’s death, and… he was completely in the open. But before Naruto could do anything to change his situation, the ground underneath him broke apart. Blown back along with spinning pieces of earth, Naruto grabbed a tree trunk and wrapped himself around it, but even then he knew what was coming.

	Leaping away, a second before the tree broke apart, Naruto concentrated his chakra into his fist as he spun round to face the person behind him. He struck but was too slow, the man vanished and Naruto felt a fist strike him across the back of the head.

	Vision failing; Naruto grappled to stay conscious as he landed against another tree and leapt away. The man appeared before him again in mid air, his blond hair seemingly glowing but Naruto was ready. His arm snapped upwards and his view was momentarily marred by the sight of spinning shuriken.

	The twirling blades flew towards their target but as he raised his hand to block, Naruto caught sight of a symbol across the man’s palm. There was a woosh of wind and the shuriken crumpled in on themselves. And then a fist cut through them, hitting Naruto in the chest. He fell back and hit the floor.

	Coughing, Naruto got to his knees. The man was nowhere to be seen. But he knew he was still there. And then out of the darkness, the man ran towards him. In plain view the man charged, he raised his fist. Naruto blocked the blow just in time as the man then swung a leg, catching Naruto in the stomach. His hands hitting the dirt, Naruto back flipped away, throwing a kunai as a distraction. 

The man dodged it and came on full force, Naruto spun on his feet, catching the man’s legs and kicking them out from under him, but the man’s hand swung out, supporting his weight as he slammed his knee into Naruto’s face. Back flipping again, Naruto leapt into the air away from the attacker. 

As he soared through the air, Naruto caught sight of something. The broken bits of rock below quivered and then suddenly, from within burst an array of hands. It was as if the rocks had morphed into arms, as the long fingered hands stretched up towards him. Before Naruto could react, the hands grabbed his arms and legs, holding him poised, twenty feet in the air.

“Hmm.” Said the man, “The blood of a Jinchuuriki, should taste delicious.”

And as Naruto watched, the last piece of rock molded into a spike that began to stretch towards him, its point aiming right for his heart.


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## S?phi? (Jul 16, 2008)

OOoo.. Who's the blonde man??
Can't wait till next chapter..


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## Even (Jul 17, 2008)

nice cliffhanger  Looking forward to the next part


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## Catterix (Jul 19, 2008)

Thanks for the nice comments again. 

Sorry about the delay, here's Chapter 3! I'm going to try and put on Chapter 4 by the end of today.


*Spoiler*: __ 



Chapter 3

Naruto’s eyes widened as the spike of pure rock roared towards him. Refined to such a point that the light shone off its tip, the spear cut through the air. And then, an inch from piercing Naruto’s flesh, the rock broke apart. Like an invisible force field, the granite spike split into shards that rained down upon the grass twenty feet below. 

	Naruto’s jaw fell open in shock, as at the same time, the blond man stepped back, his eyes narrow. 

	“That’s not possible…” he whispered. Clenching his teeth, the man raised his arms, and the shards of rock burst into life again. Lifting off the ground, they shot towards Naruto but just like before, each of them bounced off, splintering into dust. “How can it be…?” The man whispered to himself.

	Naruto felt the hands holding him loosen. Taking this chance, he twisted his body violently, breaking free of their grip. Falling to the floor Naruto stared at his attacker, who in turn looked almost scared of him. Regaining his composure, the man swung his hand down and the arms above stretched down towards Naruto. Like snakes, they coiled towards their prey.

	Back flipping away, Naruto sliced at one of the arms with his kunai, tearing it apart. The loss of one of their fellows seemed to grant the other hands more speed as they suddenly tore after Naruto, chasing him through the trees as he ran, desperate to get away. Over logs, under branches and round trees Naruto ran, trying frantically to evade their sharp fingers that tore at his T-shirt. 

	Above, Naruto heard leaves rustling as he ran. And then the blond man leapt down through the branches, swinging his knife. Naruto dodged but was too slow. The blade cut his shoulder, the pain causing Naruto to lose his grip and stagger backwards, granting the arms a second chance. They leapt towards him, but then suddenly stopped in their tracks. Frozen in midair, the arms hung, reaching out towards Naruto, their fingers clawing at air.

	“Clever design.” Said a voice from behind the trees. Naruto looked and saw Jiraiya standing in the shadows, his hand resting against one of the arms, the mark of a seal spreading out from where his palm lay. “I didn’t know people still manipulated elements into other morphic matters.” He straightened and began to walk towards where the man stood, his weapon still raised. “People always said that they were very clever designs these, far too delicate for a normal man to use. Which must mean, you sir, are a very talented ninja indeed. But the problem with delicate jutsu is...” Jiraiya knocked his fist against one of the hands and it smashed to pieces, “Is that they’re just too damn delicate to use properly.” 

	“Don’t try and buy your time with words, Sannin!” Said the blond man, “I know all of your tricks.” 

	“Oh, I bet you do.” Jiraiya said, vanishing into the earth. The man looked around, confused before giving a start at Jiraiya popped up right next to him, “Mister squad leader.” Reaching out, Jiraiya tore away the arm of the man’s shirt, revealing his shoulder and a black symbol of the ANBU. “You’re looking good for someone who left the village over thirty years ago.”

	“It’s a shame I can’t say the same thing about you.” Said the man, keeping his distance. “Though I heard your slug-bitch Tsunade’s been trying to keep young.”

	“Yeah,” Jiraiya mused, “You wouldn’t guess those jugs were fifty years old.” 

	“So what are you doing out here, in the forest?” Asked the Ex-Anbu leader, “I didn’t think underage boys was your type of thing, wasn’t that much more what your other Sannin liked to do?”

	“Are you talking about Orochimaru?!” Naruto asked, flaring up.

	“Yeah, that’s his name!” said the man, “I heard he’s got a new sex-slave.”

	“Sasuke!” Naruto cried, “Orochimaru stole him for his body.”

	“You bet he did.” Said the yellow haired Anbu. 

	“And what are you trying to do?” Jiraiya asked, cutting across the paedophile-related conversation, “You know you’re not allowed near Konoha.”

	“We’re near Konoha?” Naruto asked, the flame of longing licking his insides, “I got so lost in the training I completely forgot where we were.”

	“Well, look up kid! You’re close to home.” Jiraiya said harshly, “But you know your promise.” Naruto bit his bottom lip and nodded. Even when facing a potential assassin, Naruto couldn’t help but feel the sad longing that was blossoming up inside of him… to be so close to home but to be so far…

	“And I’d suggest looking up too if I were you.” Said the blond man, now further away from Jiraiya. “Or not… it’s your choice.” Naruto’s eyes flew up to the sky, and he saw a boy, no older than he was, leaping across the blue. In his hands he held a staff, raising it above his head, the red haired boy positioned himself over the group of them before swinging down the staff like a blade.

	There was a ripple through the air, like a moving piece of glass that distorted everything behind it, and then the ground exploded beneath their feet.

	“Naruto, run!” Jiraiya said, throwing the Genin into the trees. Finding his feet, Naruto hit the ground hard. He coughed in the veil of dust that surrounded him as he heard the man’s cry; “Find the Jinchuuriki, Kuraze!” And the dust split apart as the red haired boy leapt into view. 

	Holding his breath, Naruto spun around and jumped onto a nearby branch. Without looking behind him, he bounded away. In the distance behind him, Naruto could hear the clashes of blades as Jiraiya battled with the blond ex-ANBU. There was the echo of his master’s voice and then an incredibly sonic boom that blew away the dust.

	No sooner had Naruto been stripped of his cover than he felt a hand wrap round his ankle, tugging him down through the branch and slamming him into the ground. Choking on the dirt and grass, Naruto rolled away as the staff slammed into the ground right where his chest had been. He spun onto his feet and faced the boy who stood, staff poised. They stared at each other.

	“Are you a Jinchuuriki?” the boy asked. Naruto didn’t answer, instead he responded by whipping out a pair of kunai from his sleeves. The boy stared at them warily but then asked again, “Are you a Jinchuuriki?” Naruto stayed silent. “Tell me, are you a Jinchuuriki or aren’t you? You don’t have a choice either way, so just tell me… are you?!”

	“Y-yes.” Naruto said, slightly perplexed.

	“Which Bijuu?”

	“The Kyuubi.” Naruto answered, still not sure why they weren’t clashing blades. “I have the Nine-Tails Fox Demon.”

	At these words, the boy lowered his staff. He stared at Naruto, his eyes were brown, deep brown. He looked at Naruto almost admiringly, his bottom lip quivering. His entire body shaking as he did, the boy stepped aside.

	“Run.” He said. “For God’s sake, run.”

	“What?” Naruto asked, “What are you talking about?”

	“Run, go home, get away. Just… don’t let him catch you.” The boy threw a glance over his shoulder. “So just… get away from here. From him.”

	“But why?” Naruto asked.

        "Does it matter?" asked the boy, "Just go home! Stay safe! Go home and be safe away from him!"

        "And what about Jiraiya?" Naruto asked, frowning.

	“Just go!” And with that, the boy threw up his staff. It glowed bright red and extended towards Naruto, giving him just enough time to see a symbol on the end of it before it smashed into his stomach, throwing him back off his feet and into the trees, away from the battlefield. 







Thanks! If you enjoy it, please tell others about this fanfic


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## S?phi? (Jul 19, 2008)

OOooo.. I like it!!
Great job!! pek


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## Even (Jul 19, 2008)

very good You're an excellent writer Catterix However, you seem to have a somewhat of a time paradox if this was to tie in with the main story. This story is set during Naruto's training, right? By that time, Naruto had no idea what either a Jinchuuriki or a Bijuu was  But of course, this is just nitpicking  Anyways, looking forward to the continuation


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## Catterix (Jul 19, 2008)

Oh? Did he not? Oops, sorry. I thought he found out in the Tsunade arc.

When did he really find out? Was that when Chiyo explained it?


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## Even (Jul 23, 2008)

I think so, yes... But anyways, that's just nitpicking  it really doesn't have anything to say. So, when's the next chapter coming out??


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## Catterix (Jul 28, 2008)

Hmm, I think I'll edit that bit.

Anyway, really sorry for the massive delay, I've been super busy. But anyhow, here's Chapter 4, of Naruto: Time Again!


*Spoiler*: __ 



	Chapter 4

	When Naruto awoke, the air was still. Tense with anticipation, the forest around him seemed to be frozen in place, as if scared to make a sound. Getting to his feet, Naruto looked around. Several leaves of the nearby trees were missing, and as Naruto made his way back to the clearing, the number of missing leaves increased until he was walking through a winter?s forest. 

	And in the centre of the clearing, stood Jiraiya. He was breathing heavily and there was blood trickling down his chin. Naruto didn?t say a word or breath a sound, but Jiraiya looked over to him all the same. 

	?Ah good,? he wheezed, ?I knew that boy must?ve been lying. You getting crushed beneath a load of trees, even for you that?s just too stupid.? Naruto frowned.

	?What?? he asked, stepping into the completely bare clearing.

	?That red haired punk,? Jiraiya said, leaning up against a tree, ?He ran into the battle saying you?d died. When he said this, our little visitor decided it was safe to leave.? Jiraiya seemed to think it was his turn to frown now; he surveyed Naruto imperiously, hesitating before asking; ?Now why do you think he would lie like that??

	Naruto didn?t answer at first, for some reason, what transpired between him and that boy was something he wanted secret. ?He coulda been trying to cover up. Like he was embarrassed about me outrunning him.?

	?Ah yeah, that?s possible.? Jiraiya said, scratching his chin, ?Except of course? you didn?t outrun him, did you??

	?I could?ve-?

	?Naruto, you were one of the slowest runners in the training races during the academy.? Jiraiya said calmly, ?Now, that was partly because you were usually running the other way, but still.? He stepped away from the tree, clenching his teeth in pain, ?Now, what really happened? The tear on your jacket suggests you encountered him at least once.?

	?He?? Naruto said, looking away, ?He let me go.?  Naruto looked back up at Jiraiya, but his expression hadn?t changed. ?That kid, he told me to go back home. He kept telling me to go back home?? Naruto looked up, confused, ?How did he know my home was near here??

	?You?re forgetting the bloody thing on your forehead.? Jiraiya said, smacking Naruto around the face. ?Still, I?m afraid it seems that once again that you?re the centre of attention here, rather than me. Though, given that these are two guys? I think I?m quite pleased with that.?

	But Naruto didn?t respond. He was looking at his feet. It was something about the boy. About his eyes. Those deep, deep brown eyes. They weren?t angry, hateful, or even sad? Merely just? Lost.

	?Why did he tell me to go back home?? He muttered to himself.

	?Huh? Wuzzat?? Jiraiya asked, grunting in pain as he held his side, ?I shouldn?t have gone easy on that guy? I just want to know what?s his secret??

	?Secret?? Asked Naruto, not entirely paying attention.

	?Yeah, the guy. The ex-ANBU. There was something about him.?

	?Like what??

	?Well, remember when I pulled his shirt, revealing the tattoo??

	?Yeah?? Naruto replied, still focusing on the boy.

	?He leapt away.?

	?Yeah, because you just tried to tear off his shirt.? Naruto said, almost excited to be able to patronise the Sannin, ?You were so close, you could?ve attacked.?

	?No, it?s not that.? Jiraiya said, ?I know this man. He?s one of the best. Better than Itachi, I daresay. He can read everything and act faster than anything.? He breathed deep, ?It was a wonder I managed to grab his shirt. But no, was I to attack, he?d have read it. No? he backed away for something else.?

	?Something else?? Naruto repeated.

	?I?ll explain it in words you can understand.? Jiraiya said, calmly, ?What does Sakura do every time you go near her??

	?Move away.?

	?Exactly. Why??

	?I dunno, because maybe she-?

	?Because she doesn?t want you to touch her.?

	?Oh.? Naruto said, slightly crestfallen.

	?And I think this is the same. In battle, contact is definite. But this guy kept his distance.?

	?There are long-distance fighters, y?know?? Naruto said, rather irritated.

	?Except he didn?t fight from the distance. He?d move in to strike, and then leapt away instantly. Those are? weird, very weird, manoeuvres.? Jiraiya frowned, ?There?s something very, very weird about these people.? Then his eyes fell on Naruto, ?And there?s something very odd about you, too. Though, we?ve always known that.?

	?What do you mean??

	?You should?ve died back then. But you didn?t. Something about you was stopping his attacks. He couldn?t actually cut you.?

	?He cut me with his knife.? Naruto said.

	?True, but a blade is different from a chakra-fuelled element. The blade cuts, the element breaks through. It should have cut you to ribbons with the slightest touch? But, it didn?t.?

	?Hey, I?m just that good!? Naruto said, shrugging. Jiraiya laughed in his face.

	They stood there for a few seconds, Jiraiya laughing at the prospect of Naruto actually being a good ninja, and then beating Naruto for making him laugh so much that he reopened his wound. But Naruto was hardly paying attention; he was too busy thinking about the boy. ?Just go home! Stay safe! Just go home and be safe away from him!? Why did he have to go home? 

	?What?s so special about home?? Naruto asked out loud. 

	?You what??

	?The boy, he told me go home. Several times.?

	?Wouldn?t anyone?? Jiraiya asked, ?I wouldn?t think anything of it.?

	?No?? Naruto said, ?I think there is. He wanted me to go home, and he specifically told me to be ?safe from him?? Why??

	?Naruto, you?re over thinking this.? Jiraiya said, pressing his hand against his side and leaning against the tree again. ?And whilst this incredibly rare event is amazing in itself, you?re wasting your breath.?

	?I think it?s a warning.? Naruto blurted out.

	?What??

	?Or? Maybe he wanted me to warn the village.? Naruto looked up at Jiraiya, ?Maybe the ANBU guy?s gonna attack Konoha! The boy wanted to tell me that, so I?d tell Granny Tsunade!?

	?Naruto?? Jiraiya said, tiredly, ?You?re not thinking straight.? But Naruto didn?t answer, he was staring into space, thinking.

	?I?ve got to warn the village!? And before Jiraiya could do anything, Naruto had spun around and was flying through the trees as fast as his strained legs could carry him.

	Naruto knew what he had to do. Jiraiya was injured; the old man couldn?t do anything, so now it was up to Naruto. It was his job; he was the one taking command. He could save the village! Naruto looked ahead through the trees, he didn?t want to leave his Sensei alone, but he had to get to the village.

	As Naruto burst through a veil branches, he saw the settlement, hidden in the depression, where the very tops of the highest buildings could be seen. He tore through the leaves as he headed towards his village. He could see the gates! He was nearly home! Nearly there! Nearly where it was safe?

	And then a pair of hands reached out and Jiraiya threw himself into Naruto. They fell down through the leaves, smashing into branch after branch. With a thud, the pair of them hit the ground.

	?Get off me!? Naruto yelled, struggling to throw the giant of a man. ?I have to warn the village!? 

	?No, you can?t!? Jiraiya roared back, ?You?re not thinking about this!? 

	?Let me go!? Naruto cried. Clenching his fist, Naruto punched Jiraiya across the face, but the man still held him down. ?Let me go, now!? Naruto cried again, his voice cracking, he pushed and punched but Jiraiya wouldn?t let go, ?Please!? he pleaded, ?I have? I have to? warn? Everyone.?

	?And then what?!? Jiraiya barked, his eyes staring furiously at Naruto. ?Could you honestly say to yourself that you?d be able to leave the village again?!? At these words, Naruto softened, he stopped struggling and lay still, his bottom lip quivering. ?I?m sorry?? Jiraiya said, lifting himself onto his feet, ?But you know what terms you left the village in. If you go back, will you ever be able to leave again?? He stared at his pupil intensely, breathing deep before asking; ?Are you strong enough now to protect it? To protect the people you love??

	Naruto hung his head, so that his master couldn?t see his tears. 
	?No.? he said after a moment. ?No, I?m not strong enough.?

	?Come on, then.? Jiraiya said, placing a hand on Naruto?s shoulder, ?Let?s go. We?ve got to know what we?re facing before putting the village on alert.? And with a fatherly grace, Jiraiya turned Naruto away from the village, allowing his pupil one last longing look at the large gates, reminding him of the promise he?d made.


-


	As Jiraiya led his pupil away from their home village, another pupil lay thinking longingly about his own village.

	?You told me the boy had died!? screamed the teacher as he pulled Kuraze out of the pool of blood, before slamming him back down, splashing blood onto his boots. Odiar stood over the boy, then lifted his bloodstained foot and brought it down crashing onto the boy?s head, sending Kuraze bursting through the tree branch and into the grass below. 

	 With a deft elegance, the blond Odiar landed beside him.

	?But, thankfully,? he said pulling Kuraze to his feet, ?I am a forgiving man. I know that punishing your students isn?t always the best way to make them learn, it?s just very, very fun.?  Kuraze forced a smile. ?I?ll give you one more chance.? The man said brightly, ?But by midnight tonight, I want that Jinchuuriki sealed, stored and dead.?




Thanks! Comments are really appreciated


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## Even (Jul 29, 2008)

Once again, very good  Better late than never, isn't that what they say? Looking forward to the next chapter, just hope it won't take so long next time


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## JH24 (Aug 12, 2008)

Wow, now I really wish I would have begun reading your awesome fanfic earlier. I really enjoyed reading the first four chapters, and I'm really intrigued by these two new characters. Also, I like the moment in the series you've chosen. I always wondered about what kind of things could have happened during Naruto's training.


You have a great writingstyle, it is very enjoyable and easy to read, yet it's also filled with details. The action scenes were nothing less than awesome, you've done a wonderful and amazing job in conveying the character's movements and actions to the reader. Very vivid, very fluid. I write fanfics myself, but not in the Naruto fandom, and I know how difficult it can be to find the right balance and level of detail you need to make a great action sequence. But you pulled it off very well.

The dialogue between the characters is another highlight I noticed during the first chapters. I loved the initial talk between Jiraiya and Naruto, and you've done a great job in keeping the dialogue interesting and IC throughout. The only part I had a little trouble with (But that's just me and I'm most likely wrong) was at the end. I had a bit of trouble seeing Naruto acting so recklessly by wanting to go to Konoha. Especially the part where he hit his own sensei struck me as a little strange. But my knowledge of the Naruto series is very limited, so I might be missing something.


Well, I'm really impressed. I can't even begin to explain how much I enjoyed this. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time and I felt disappointed when I found out I already had reached the end of the last chapter. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, I can't wait to find out what will happen next. I hope you'll update soon. As a final thing, I like the new characters you've added, especially Kuraze.


Great work!


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## Nayrael (Oct 16, 2008)

So, any updates m'lord?


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## Codi Kenhai (Oct 17, 2008)

This is a great ff. Keep it up.


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## JH24 (Nov 5, 2008)

Yeah, I hope you'll update soon, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.


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## Narutosgurl (Nov 5, 2008)

Please post back!!!!


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## Catterix (Dec 30, 2008)

Hey!  I'm so sorry about this... I got so absorbed in other projects, exams and coursework that I never managed to continue.  And when I had time, I had lost my vibe.

However, as a Christmas present, I bring you; Chapter 5. 


*Spoiler*: __ 




Sakura  sat at her window, watching the sky melt into a murky grey. Its ominous weight sent a shiver up her spine.  They were odd; emotions. For some reason, Sakura had had an impulse to look out the window. She’d been sitting at her desk, reading the textbook Shizune had secretly lent her to help with the test Tsunade was holding the following day, when suddenly out of the sentence: “Never adjusting rightly under tremulous operations…” the name; “Naruto” screamed out at her and she’d gone straight to the window, as if expecting him to be seated on the opposite rooftop.

But it still felt as if he was close by.

It was strange. So caught up in Tsunade’s exams, physical tests, and just insanely intense training (She’d only just healed her bruises from the last exam), Sakura had barely given Naruto a second thought. So why today, of all days, was he suddenly in her head? Biting her thumb, Sakura drew the blinds and returned to her seat. Wherever Naruto was, he was probably just goofing off.

***

“Ero Sennin! Stop goofing off, this is serious here!”

“I’m not goofing off.” Jiraiya said, irritably, “This is serious stuff.”

“It’s naked chicks.” Naruto muttered angrily. It had been less than 5 hours since their attack and Naruto was growing impatient with Jiraiya’s lack of desire to do anything about it.

“Y’know,” Jiraiya said, “I heard rumours that your old buddy, Sasuke, might’ve swung the other way, but I’m now thinking the rumours got the wrong Genin.” He grinned, “If you want, I could take you to a naked man’s bath.”

“In your sad, lonely dreams!” Naruto spat, “I’m not into that gross stuff!”

“Hm.” Jiraiya chuckled, returning to his telescope; “You are so fourteen years old.”

“And you are so perverted.” Naruto snapped, folding his arms, “I thought it was Orochimaru who liked young boys. But maybe I confused the wrong Sannin!”

“Yes, Naruto. That’s why I brought you out here. To rape you.” Jiraiya said dryly, “Anyhow, I think it’s time I took a little nap, don’t you?”

“What? Right now?” Naruto barked, mouth hanging open.

“Yeah, why not? It’s a nice afternoon.” Said Jiraiya, yawning and stretching out on the edge of the cliff.

“Hey! Ero Sennin!” Naruto started, but Jiraiya had already begun to snore. He rolled over onto his side, scratching his butt, before drooling onto his resting shoulder.

It took, perhaps five seconds, before Naruto noticed a change in the wind. And another one before he saw a flash of red. But there was no gap between what he saw and feeling the strike in his chest as a metal-gloved fist struck his chest. Barely able to cough, Naruto was thrown backwards through the air, slamming into a nearby tree as the boy from early stood, ready to strike. Naruto braced himself as the boy leapt… before crashing into the dirt.

“Not so fast!” Jiraiya commanded, his hand outstretched. The tips of his fingers were pointing at each of the boy’s limps, and from them hung a thin string of chakra. He tugged, forcing the boy up onto his feet.

“Jiraiya! You can control puppets?” Naruto asked, dumbfounded.

“I’m no Sasori, but I’m Ok.” Jiraiya muttered before addressing the boy. “You really are that predictable, huh? You honestly thought I’d be distracted from your presence by a group of girls… and then go to sleep leaving my… student? Out on his own?”

“There’s more to you than I thought.” Said the boy, his cocky tone shivering just enough to show his fear. He closed his eyes and the staff that was strapped to his back did a 360 degrees spin, cutting through each of the chakra strings. Ducking low, the boy caught the spinning staff and twirled it over his shoulder to face Jiraiya. 

With a flick of his wrist, a line of Shuriken soared from the Sannin, heading straight for the boy, who deflected them with his staff, spinning it like a helicopter’s rota blades. But before they had even hit the ground, a blast of fire erupted from Jiraiya’s mouth, consuming the boy, before it too was dissipated by the swirling staff.

“Interesting staff.” Jiraiya said as a lock of his hair burst out from the ground, slicing across the boy’s leg. Shocked, the boy leapt backwards as blood red as his hair arced behind him. 

“Interesting hair style.” The boy quipped, “That must’ve cost the barber a fortune, hair that travels underground.”

“What can I say? I’m a demanding customer.” Jiraiya replied, his brow furrowed. His eyes darted from Naruto, clutching his chest, to the boy, the staff in hand. He darted to the left, but the boy swung the staff, catching him in the chest. Grabbing the staff, Jiraiya used it to swing upwards, slamming his foot into the boy’s face. But the boy didn’t leg go of the staff, instead bringing it swinging upwards with a roar of strength, forcing the Sannin to somersault away. 

The moment Jiraiya landed, the boy planted the staff into the earth, and the cliff face broke apart. Cracks swarmed outwards from the staff, encircling Jiraiya, as he ground he stood upon vanished. Using the falling bits of rock as stepping stones, Jiraiya hauled his way back up to the cliff until out of the last piece of rock formed a hand which grabbed the Sannin’s ankle, and pulling him backwards.

“Jiraiya!” Naruto cried out, leaping awkwardly forwards, but the boy’s staff dealt him a blow to the stomach and he collapsed. Naruto looked up just in time to see his sensei’s face vanish behind a veil of dust. He whipped round to face the boy who stood before him, only to see a heel strike him across the side, rolling him backwards. 

Spinning to his feet, Naruto whipped out a kunai and charged, trying to head towards his master, but the boy swung around the staff, avoiding the blade, and instead kicked Naruto further back. Even amongst the chaos, Naruto was able to register that the boy’s attacks were nowhere near as painful as they had been earlier that day. But he couldn’t be distracted by an assassin losing its charm, not when Jiraiya could be in mortal danger. 

But the boy kept knocking him further back into the trees. It wasn’t long until the dying sun’s beams couldn’t reach them and they were in total darkness. Naruto felt the boy pin him to the ground with the staff, pressing him in. He kicked out and knocked the staff from the boy’s hands. Leaping back, Naruto grabbed hold of the weapon… and let go with a scream of pain as it burned his flesh. 

By the light of the now glowing red staff, Naruto saw the boy hold his gloved hand to the grassy floor; “Going down.” He said, and whipped off the glove.
The ground exploded outwards from the boy’s hand like a bomb going off underground. Naruto felt the ground beneath him vanish, and then he began to fall.




Bringing out the next chapter soon. I pwomise


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## Nayrael (Dec 31, 2008)

Like always, the battle scenes make you think that you watch the anime, not read it. Of course, that is a good thing 

The antagonists look interesting in both the way you made me imagine them how they look and in the way of their personalities and techniques.

Dialogues are interesting and realistic, tough the part about Jiraiya raping Naruto felt a little off... makes you think what was he saying to Connan who was around teh same age as Naruto is now.

Looking forward to next chapter.


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## JH24 (Dec 31, 2008)

Awesome work, Catterix! I'm really happy that I can read a new chapter of your amazing story again! And what a great chapter it was. I loved the scenes with Naruto and Jiraiya. I always liked it when they are together and IMHO you portrayed them very well. I had to laugh about that "rape" line. 


I also really like the antagonists and I'm really intrigued/interested by this boy. I love his fighting style and how he fought against Jiraiya and Naruto. The battle scene was awesome! Fluid, vivid and very entertaining to read. I always love stories were I can picture scenes very well before my eyes.



I can't wait to find out what will happen next! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.




=======================================================


There was one little thing I noticed in the first paragraph. English is my second language and I'm not really good at it, so most likely I'm wrong but I saw you wrote "Sakura *had had *an impulse to look out the window."


I'm not entirely sure if that's correct, but my eye fell on it.


=======================================================

Again, awesome work!


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## Apamaru (Jan 6, 2009)

You are a really good writer, especially when it comes to describing all the action. You manage to make it really fast paced and vivid - yet avoiding the repetition and needless complexity. However, I thought two things were a little off in the latest chapter. You are usually very good at keeping the characters in character, but this time I felt something was a little off in the discussion between Jiraya and Naruto. 

All that gay-talk and especially the rape-joke. It really wasn't something I would expect to see/read in Naruto. Another thing I thought was a bit weird and/or plotholish, was Jiraya comparing himself to Sasori. I mean your story is supposed to take place before Sasori was even introduced. Of course it is possible that Jiraya knew about him and his puppet-master skills already at that point, but still, I felt that the line was a bit disorienting and that the story would be better-off without it. 

I'm sorry if my comments feel offending to you - I can assure that I'm not trying to nitpick or be negative. I do realise that, in the end, this is _your_ fanfic and it's completely your's to decide how strictly in character you want to keep the characters and all that. I just wanted to bring out my personal preference.


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## Codi Kenhai (Jan 6, 2009)

Nice updates.


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## Catterix (Jan 9, 2009)

Wow, seriously thanks a lot for the really nice comments everyone!



JH24 said:


> There was one little thing I noticed in the first paragraph. English is my second language and I'm not really good at it, so most likely I'm wrong but I saw you wrote "Sakura *had had *an impulse to look out the window."
> 
> 
> I'm not entirely sure if that's correct, but my eye fell on it.



It's correct language, but it's not very good at that. Basically, the sentence works with the focus of "Sakura had had an impulse", the first "had" is in relation to Sakura, in what she experienced. The second "had" is in relation to the action, the "having of an impulse". 

It follows from the same etymological history as; "It wasn't that that box was blue." the firs "that" is in line with the "wasn't" whilst the second is in line with the box.

So whilst it is correct, it can lead to clunky language and should usually be avoided.



Apamaru said:


> You are a really good writer, especially when it comes to describing all the action. You manage to make it really fast paced and vivid - yet avoiding the repetition and needless complexity. However, I thought two things were a little off in the latest chapter. You are usually very good at keeping the characters in character, but this time I felt something was a little off in the discussion between Jiraya and Naruto.
> 
> All that gay-talk and especially the rape-joke. It really wasn't something I would expect to see/read in Naruto. Another thing I thought was a bit weird and/or plotholish, was Jiraya comparing himself to Sasori. I mean your story is supposed to take place before Sasori was even introduced. Of course it is possible that Jiraya knew about him and his puppet-master skills already at that point, but still, I felt that the line was a bit disorienting and that the story would be better-off without it.
> 
> I'm sorry if my comments feel offending to you - I can assure that I'm not trying to nitpick or be negative. I do realise that, in the end, this is _your_ fanfic and it's completely your's to decide how strictly in character you want to keep the characters and all that. I just wanted to bring out my personal preference.



lol Not at all. I adore constructive criticism, I'm always trying to improve, and you're absolutely right. I wrote that as a post-Sasori arc viewer. In the word of God, let's just say Jiraiya was making a nod to a known Puppet user 

The gay thing. There's a reason why I'm slipping in homosexuality into conversations a lot. This isn't a yaoi fanfic, but it is, for me, necessary to the plot in creating a certain air/element. Basically, it will all add up when my story is complete lol.

Anyway, thanks for the comments, as a reward to my lovely readers...


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## Catterix (Jan 9, 2009)

*Spoiler*: _Chapter Six!_ 



As the darkness swallowed him, Naruto saw the boy grab hold of the falling staff, and its burning red light faded from the point his hand touched until all was darkness again. Naruto tried to ready himself to hit the ground but he hadn’t anticipated landing face first. Falling through the darkness was harder to manoeuvre than he thought.

Getting to his knees, Naruto looked around, he couldn’t see a thing. But he could sense the boy’s presence; he was close by, and moving. Clenching his teeth, Naruto focused and a wave of chakra erupted from his body, momentarily lighting the dark cave, at the wall of which, he saw the boy, nursing the cut on his side from Jiraiya.

“You bastard!” Naruto cried out into the darkness, whipping out a second kunai.

“My name’s Kuraze.” Said the boy, his voice was calm and controlled. “Yours is Uzumaki, right?”

“Something like that.” Naruto snapped, facing what he hoped was his attacker. “But there’s no need to try and remember, you’ll be dead before then.” And he leapt forwards, straight into a rock wall.

“Even though it’s dark, I am able to move, you know.” Said Kuraze’s voice from the other side of the cave as Naruto slid down the wall. “And there’s no need to attack, I’m not going to try and hurt you.”

“So what were you doing earlier? Playing tag?” Naruto barked, turning to face the voice.

“Pretty much.” Said the voice, now from behind Naruto. “I needed to get you under the cover of the trees and make it look convincing.”

“You made me come here?” Naruto asked.

“Yep.”

“Why? Is this some plan to separate me from Ero Sennin?!” Naruto’s hands were balling into fists as a new wave of anger absorbed the confusion.

“I’m sorry about your teacher. But he said I was your objective.”

“Who did?”

“Odiar. My... Sensei.” There was a pause, in which Naruto heard the boy sigh, almost despairingly, “It’s like earlier. He made sure we were separated. But this is the only way I could make you safe.”

“Safe?” Naruto spluttered, “What’s safe about a dark cave underground?” He clenched his teeth again and a small flare of blue light emanated from him, and he saw the boy leaning sitting against the opposite wall, stitching up his wound.

“Just about the safest place in the world. Other than the sky, I mean.” Said 
Kuraze’s voice into the darkness again. Naruto was still too stunned by what he saw to speak; all the while that the boy was talking to him, answering his questions, he was operating first aid upon himself. This boy was… skilled.

“And why do you want me safe?” Naruto asked, “Why do you, an assassin, care?”

“Because you don’t deserve it.” Said Kuraze, “You’ve not deserved any of it. 
The suffering. I didn’t want you to suffer any more.” And under the next wave of blue light that Naruto released, he saw Kuraze looking at him, smiling sadly.

-

Yawning, Sakura reached the last page of the book, when something slipped out. It was an ANBU report, marked classified. It was dated today; Shizune must’ve accidentally put it in the book on her way to reporting to Tsunade. 

She looked out the window, it was now dark. Except for a shine of blood red across the farthest reaches of the sky. Sakura climbed onto the windowsill, and jumped into the night.

It was crazy, jumping like this. Sakura always tried to be polite and not jump on other people’s houses, but perhaps it was because Naruto had entered her mind again, or there was a sense of urgency emanating from the envelope, that she decided, now was the time to travel by rooftop. And boy, 
was it fast!

-

Jiraiya hit the ground hard. This was the third time in a row he’d fallen to his enemy tonight. He could only take so much more of this pretence. Getting to his feet, Jiraiya turned towards the guffawing ex-ANBU, standing ten feet away. Even Jiraiya, gallant as he was, could only stand so much ridicule. His eyes focused and he felt his chakra begin to flow as the man raised his sword. The katana was thin, but it was fast.

“What do you think now, Jiraiya?” Mocked the assassin, “How does it make you feel? To die here? In a forest, so close to home?” The smile twisted into a contorted snarl, “A place that was once my home!”

“All children have to move out eventually.” Said Jiraiya, raising an elongated kunai. The man stiffened at the sight of the weapon, but Jiraiya merely scratched his forehead under the metallic protector, as if bored.

“But not all are kicked out!” The man snapped, and he charged forward. 

Bringing the blade swinging down from the shoulder, the man sliced through the air as Jiraiya leapt, tucking in his feet.

“And why do you think you were kicked out?” Jiraiya asked, using the momentum of the man’s strike to land a kick into his side, sending the assassin toppling sideways. “Probably because you do things like this…”

“I was too good for that village!” The man roared, raising the sword above his head.

“You were a petulant child!” Jiraiya barked, watching the assassin swipe the 
katana down. As the blade swung through the air, it rippled, and then stretched before wriggling like a worm, wrapping itself around its user. “And sometimes, petulant children just need to be tied up.” Jiraiya finished as the rope-like katana morphed to become a frog’s tongue, holding the assassin in place. 

It was only with them at his sides, that Jiraiya fully noticed the man had gloved hands. Not an unusual custom amongst ninja, the strange thing was these gloves had fingers. 

“Let me go!” the man yelled, trying desperately to tear his way out.

“Yeah sure. I’ve just captured the guy trying to kill me, of course the best thing to do would be to let him go. Absolutely.” Jiraiya laughed.

“Don’t mock me!”

“Sorry, it’s just so hard not to mock someone who’s apparently going to kill me and yet gets caught in my genjutsu so easily.”

“What?”

“Distractions, dear boy.” Jiraiya said, raising his hand to his forehead protector again, “You shouldn’t get so distracted. It’s quite embarrassing really…”

“You can locate your chakra?” asked the assassin, calming down.

“Easily.” Jiraiya said, “Form a bubble of chakra around such a beautiful headband as this and the moment you look at it… You’re like a girl falling under my charms.” He winked, “Not that I’d ever use it for such purposes… Of course.”

The man clenched his gloved fists.

“Most gloves stop at the knuckle for summoning or grip purposes…” Jiraiya said, getting back to business, “What’s so special about your hands?” He looked up to see the man smirking, and his right hand wriggled, the glove slipping off to reveal the bare hand beneath. 

“Wanna see?” and before Jiraiya could do anything else, the man twisted his hand round and grabbed hold of the tongue. Less than a second later and the concealed frog screamed in pain, recoiling its tongue instantly, but not before a shower of blood cast the grass red. There was a puff of smoke from the shadows and the frog vanished, whilst the man lunged at Jiraiya.

Caught off-guard, the Sannin was thrown backwards, his jaw cracking under the blow. He hit the ground again, only this time it wasn’t a pretence. The enemy had him sussed, and he had no clue. He was completely and utterly lost here, as he flipped away, avoiding a second strike from the man, Jiraiya felt a bizarre confusion well up inside him; this battle wasn’t fun, it was dangerous. Too dangerous. It was time to flee.

“Oh don’t think you’re going to get away from me!” The man yelled, catching up to Jiraiya as he scaled the side of the cliff, I think it’s about time me and you got a little more personal.”

-

Sakura closed the door behind her, but not before hearing Tsunade’s voice explode from the Hokage’s office. 

“What?! Jiraiya encountered Odiar?!”

“Yes, right outside the village. This morning.”

Jiraiya?! Sakura’s heart leapt as the lock clicked. That meant Naruto had been nearby.

“Has he returned to Konoha?”

“I don’t know,” Shizune’s voice said, soundly panicky, “But the two of them barely escaped.”

Sakura’s heart did a back flip this time. She leant against the door, a heavy weight sinking in her chest… Naruto had been in danger, just today. Without a second’s notice, Sakura leapt from the door and practically flew down the corridor. Charging, her footsteps echoing off the walls of the hallway, Sakura soared towards the records room. She had to know, she had to know everything about this… this Odiar.

Tearing into the room, Sakura ripped to the back, where the banished members were to be found. If he was going to be anywhere, it would be here. Her hand snatched at the door and the thumbed through the files. Naruto! All the while she’d been living a comfortable life here in Konoha, Naruto was nearly dying each day, and all for the same cause. For that damn Sasuke! Well not today, not this time. If Sakura could help, she was going to do everything in her power.

The file flashed before her eyes and Sakura ripped it open. He was young. 
“Banished from Konoha after…” Sakura’s eyes did a double take. She read the page again and felt her throat tighten. “… No survivors.” Shaking her head, Sakura flicked forward to his recorded chakra. He had no classified elemental type, but was instead embossed which chakra-level three. 

He had morphic chakra.

-

“What do you think now?” Odiar asked, sneering wickedly, holding Jiraiya’s wrist with his bare hand. “Do you understand a little bit more?”

And Jiraiya could only watch in terror, as his flesh bubbled and boiled, before hands began to emerge out of his very own arm, tiny hands stretching outwards from his wrist, made up of his own flesh, their long fingers reaching out towards him...


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## Nayrael (Jan 9, 2009)

A good read, as always.

Kuraze seems interesting. I hope that you will reveal more about him soon.
While Jiraiya sounds off-character sometimes, he still remains a cool guy whom everyone must love.
And Odiar is certanly a cool and dangerous villain. He is a guy who would make you fear for the characters against whom he fights and excited when the main characters fight against him.


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## Catterix (Jan 10, 2009)

Thanks Nayrael, nice to recieve such good feedback. And I'm really happy that Odiar has that effect.

Can I just ask, what do you think of Sakura's role in this fanfic so far? Does having the story being told from her safety in Konoha add anything to the story, or is it just annoying?


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## JH24 (Jan 10, 2009)

Thanks for the very detailed explanations about the grammar part. 


-----------------------------------------------------------------------



Very interesting developments, I like the twist with Kuraze and I hope you'll reveal more about him soon. Odiar seems very interesting too, having important and intriguing antagonists is very necessary when you have villains in a story and I can really say you really succeeded with that. Morphic chakra? I wonder what kind of abilities they'll give him.


A small bit of (constructive) criticism, IMHO you do a great job about Jiraiya, but unless you have a specific reason for his behavior in this paragraph I found it slightly out of character for someone of his power and experience:




> Caught off-guard, the Sannin was thrown backwards, his jaw cracking under the blow. He hit the ground again, only this time it wasn’t a pretence. The enemy had him sussed, and he had no clue. He was completely and utterly lost here, as he flipped away, avoiding a second strike from the man, Jiraiya felt a bizarre confusion well up inside him; this battle wasn’t fun, it was dangerous. Too dangerous. It was time to flee.





The second thing I noticed was the coincidence about the missing file Sakura had to bring back, I know it was necessary for Sakura to overhear the discussion with Tsunade and Shizune. (I assume the part were Sakura closed the door was when she just left the office.) I just found it a bit too careless to loose such an important report for someone as Shizune.



These small nitpicks aside, it was another great chapter and an awesome read. You really got me intrigued and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!


You're a great writer and have a very good writingstyle. Detailed, vivid, easy to read.



Oh, there are a few editing mistakes in this chapter, maybe caused by the format of the Naruto forums. Mistakes as this:



> “Just about the safest place in the world. Other than the sky, I mean.”
> Said
> Kuraze’s voice into the darkness again. Naruto was still too stunned by what he saw to speak; all the while that the boy was talking to him, answering his questions, he was operating first aid upon himself. This boy was… skilled.






As for your question in your last post. I personally don't mind having Sakura's viewpoint in this story at all. I believe it acts as a very nice weight to keep a balance in the story regarding progression. However, this can probably only be judged later in the story, when more things have happened.


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## Nayrael (Jan 10, 2009)

> Can I just ask, what do you think of Sakura's role in this fanfic so far? Does having the story being told from her safety in Konoha add anything to the story, or is it just annoying?



I am not sure really. While her describing Odiar ceartanly helped the entire story, her sudden appearances in the middle of the chapters can feel a bit anticlimatic. Putting her on the beginning or the end of the chapter might solve the problem, but it is on you to decide if thats really a good thing for the story.
Be it as it may, her descriptions of Odiar and Morphic Chakra ceartanly helped the storyline a lot. I can't imagine a better way of describing Odiar.


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## S?phi? (Jan 10, 2009)

_Aha, so.. I return. Here comes the 'Sophie Blabber'.. _

_So it seems you are very experienced with writing out nearly perfect cliff-hangers, which overall, is a very good concept for fanfictons._

_Keeps the suspense high, along with your 'fans' attentions. _

_Kuraze seems a bit odd, well.. obviously. To me, he's giving off the 'caring Gaara vibe'.. ('the red haired boy'). The way he reacted to Naruto telling him of Kyuubi, makes me wonder if he has had past experiences with Jinchuuriki or if he, is one himself (wouldn't doubt that)._

_Odiar is even more of a mystery.. I wouldn't be surprized if the man was Arashi himself. Mainly due to his blonde hair <-- HINT!!]] Maybe.. just maybe. That would explain why 'Odiar' was hesitant towards Naruto and Jiraiya. But, i can only make an educated guess._

_The man though has a past in Konoha though.. Hmm.. Your damn story keeps me guessing. I have all these ideas in my head of the 'What if's' and soo on. _

_I'm not done yet though.. _

_Now to Sakura's appearance. I think of it as a 'Pro and Con' in the story. Obviously, she cares for him.. As a teammate? Or more, i do not know.. But, if you want advice, i would consider putting in a few 'Sasuke' scenes if you're aiming for the 'team feel'.. Con? Unless she's going to be playing a bigger role in the story i would leave her appearances to a minimum because she'd throw off the whole 'Naruto, Jiraiya feel' kinda like a disturbance. Though, her appearance did give your readers more information about this 'mystery dude'. I don't know if her appearance was ONLY to give that information, or not, but one can only guess._

_Final notes, it's seems well thought out and put together so i'll give you props for that. Organization is a good thing in any story, 'everything flying everywhere isn't'. So yeaah.. Deff props from me to the FF. _

_Meh, my brain hurts now. End of 'Sophie Blabber'.._

_*Edit-* Oh yeaah and props on the grammer. I'd suggest you to find a betta JUST to over-look it and look for your occational errors, that would only be a 'Pro' in your favor but it's not a drastic need, just a 'if you want' thing.._


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## Nayrael (Jan 26, 2009)

Any updates?


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## Nayrael (Feb 20, 2009)

Hello? Have you stopped writing or what?


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## felixdavidjones (Apr 14, 2009)

Dude, you havn't posted in over 3 months, what's happening?


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## Catterix (May 29, 2009)

Oh bloody hell, I'm almost as bad as the mangaka for HunterXHunter.

Anyhow, I have a few presents for you, here's...


*Spoiler*: _Chapter 7!_ 



	The minutes passed and the silence grew louder as Naruto sat in the darkness, trying to decipher whether he’d been captured or saved. He heard little noise from Kuraze over the elongating seconds, but that boy was silent as an owl’s wing; a true ninja. 

“I don’t…” Naruto breathed, “I don’t… get it.”

“That’s no surprise,” chuckled Kuraze’s voice from the same place as before. Naruto managed a small laugh, looking down at where he imagined his lap would be. “Let’s just say we’re not that different, you and me.”

“You’re a jinchuuriki too?” Naruto asked, lifting his head.

“God, no. I’d be a terrible jinchuuriki,” Kuraze laughed weakly, “Couldn’t stand the stomach aches, and weird things happen to your face when you’re a jinchuuriki; whiskers, racoon eyes… Imagine if I had the Sanbi! I’d look like a turtle!”

Naruto stayed silent; Kuraze knew more about the bijuu than he did himself. With this, he felt a pang of failure; the other bijuu really were something he should’ve looked up. He had no idea the Sanbi was a turtle… Maybe he’d get to encounter it one day.

“Why are you keeping me here?” Naruto asked, trying to ignore his feelings of warmth to Kuraze and returning to suspicion. 

“I want to keep you safe, that’s all really.” Kuraze said, and Naruto wished he could’ve seen his face at this moment.

“But why me?”

There was a silence, and Naruto heard Kuraze sigh.

“This isn’t the first time we’ve met, Naruto.” 

There was another silence as Naruto tried to comprehend this.

“I used to attend the Konoha academy.” Kuraze said, pausing.

“I didn’t see you.” Naruto said quickly.

“You wouldn’t have.” Kuraze told him, sadly. “I was one of the losers. I flunked it after the third year and left. I was always at the back, too scared to open my mouth in case someone tried to summon a fish into it or something.”

“Why were you bullied?” Naruto asked.

“Why is anyone bullied? People saw me as a weakling and then made me into one by bullying me.” Kuraze sighed again, this time with a breath of pain. “It was a self-fulfilling prophecy… but you, Naruto… you broke that prophecy. 
You went against the bullies, the claimers and the nonbelievers. You gave people like us hope that we could actually achieve something. You faced the laughter and laughed right back at it.” Kuraze was on his feet, “And now… now there are people trying to kill you!” The sound of his fist hitting the wall was painful, Naruto heard the flesh split. 

“But that isn’t your fault-”

“Isn’t it?” Kuraze asked, his voice tearing, “If us cowards who’d remained hidden in the darkness, away from everyone else, had actually had the balls to stand up against the laughter, and laughed right alongside you, then people like Odiar wouldn’t be roaming the forest looking for the loan Jinchuuriki because they’d know that he’d have a cavalry of heroes at his side.”

“People would be after me anyway, they don’t care about how many people-”

“We’d have shared your burden. We’d have carried the Nine tailed fox with you… that’s what the fourth Hokage would’ve wanted, I just know it. No rejection, no hatred.” He fell silent at this, whilst Naruto struggled to think of something to say. In fact, Naruto was beginning to find it a struggle to think at all.

Kuraze was pacing in a tight circle, “And that’s why I wanted to find you.” There was the sound of a handseal and the room was filled with a red tint. Kuraze bent down and placed the chakra-flame delicately over a rock, it flickered kindly up at him. Naruto noticed, despite himself, that Kuraze’s eyes were beautiful. And that they were shimmering. 

“I’ve done a lot of terrible things, Naruto. It’s Odiar… he took me in, taught me how to become a real ninja. When he was banished from Konoha, I went with him; no questions asked. And that was it; I asked no questions as we slaughtered ninja after ninja.” He looked down at his hands, “These were stained with blood before you’d even passed the academy’s exam.” He looked up at Naruto, “Whilst you were finally accomplishing something, I was out murdering people… Looking for you.” He swallowed, “That is, before I knew it was you. When I found out you were the Jinchuuriki, I knew I’d have to find you to protect you.”

“I have the village to protect me,” Naruto said, lifting himself drunkenly off the floor. “I’m thankful, don’t get me wrong. But…” He wobbled slightly, “One person can’t do more than an entire village.”

“The village can’t protect you in the way I can.” Kuraze said so sternly that it caught Naruto off-guard. “And that’s the bottom line.” He breathed, fighting some internal battle, “Naruto, I have some proposition for you. You know I said I wanted to carry-”

But before Kuraze could finish his sentence, his eyes widened with shock as Naruto gave a scream of agony. Crashing into the wall behind him, Naruto writhed in pain, clutching at his shoulder. Kuraze rushed to his side, catching Naruto before he hit the floor. Naruto was gagging on his torture, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. 

“Hold on!” Kuraze cried, holding Naruto in his arms. “I’m sorry-” he breathed before tearing off Naruto’s jacket, revealing a massive gash in his shoulder. Black blood was congealing around the wound whilst Naruto’s veins pulsated angrily, the chakra-infused poison spreading through his system. Naruto was going to die.


-


Sakura couldn’t believe what she was reading. Nor the man whose face she was staring at. The Ex-ANBU leader, Odiar… had two profile pictures. One was of a man, with blond hair, blue eyes and a stern smile. The other was of the Fourth Hokage.

Her eyes scanned the profile; treason against Konoha, attempted assassination and kidnapping. She breathed deeply as she read Naruto’s name again and again on the profile. The man had attempted to kidnap Naruto. His morphic chakra was unlike anything before classified, it was neither an experiment result nor a bloodline limit. It was just pure mutation.

“I thought you might want to know who Naruto was up against,” said a voice quietly from behind Sakura. Turning with a start, Sakura saw Shizune standing in the doorway, a shameful look on her face. “I got the message from Jiraiya and I knew you’d want to at least know if Naruto was involved.”

“You slipped the ANBU report into the book?” Sakura asked, dumbfounded, 

“You wanted me to come back here? To overhear the conversation?”

“I’m not that bad at my job to accidentally leave an ANBU report in a book.” Shizune chided, “I just… y’know, go against my master’s orders, that’s all.” She sighed, and turned to leave.

“Is Naruto OK?” Sakura asked, she was on her feet before she’d even realised, the profile in her hand was shaking. Shizune stared down the hallway, refusing to look Sakura in the eye.

“We tried to send the frog summon back to Jiraiya,” she said in little more than a whisper, “But it couldn’t transfer.” And with that, she had gone.
Sakura stood alone in the reference room, an icy shiver running up her spine.
Right now, Naruto was fighting for his life.




All comments appreciated!!


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## Catterix (May 29, 2009)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!


*Spoiler*: _ Chapter 8!!_ 



?What about the seal?? Tsunade asked Shizune, her face contorted with frustration. ?Did Jiraiya mention if the seal was still formed, on his arm??

Shizune shook her head sadly.

?Nothing was mentioned at all.? She ruffled through a few pages absently, ?But I?d imagine that if it wasn?t intact, something bigger would?ve happened by now. The fact that he?s after Naruto implies that the seal on his arm is still working.?

Tsunade sighed, and looked at Shizune who nodded; the both of them perfectly aware of Sakura, hiding just outside the window.

?Only one thing can get rid of the seal?? Tsunade said to her desk, ?What we?ve got to do is stop it is to find a way for Jiraiya to get hold of this information.? She smiled at the sound of the young Genin taking off from the windowsill. 

?She?s getting stronger every day.? Shizune commented, ?And becoming more like you with each passing lesson.?

?And is that a bad thing?? Tsunade asked with a raised eyebrow.

?Only on the gambling side.?

?Nah,? Tsunade grinned, as Sakura leapt from rooftop to rooftop, her mind formulating the plan, ?That?s the difference between me and my pupil; Sakura?s a winner.?


-


Seeing Naruto in pain was putting more stress on Kuraze than the weight of Naruto in his arms. Cursing himself, Kuraze wondered when Odiar had a chance to cut Naruto without him realising; if only he?d been there to protect Naruto from the start! 

?Not much longer?? he whispered, as the tunnel spread out further, snaking ahead of them like some hungry serpent, just baiting them. ?Hold on, Naruto? Please.? He?d done his best to stitch up the wound, but he couldn?t remove the poison itself.

With a cry, Naruto spat foam and wriggled out of Kuraze?s arms. He hit the floor and writhed, frothing at the mouth. The wound on his back was glowing a deep purple.

_?What is that?? Kuraze asked, looking at the purple bubble that Odiar was wrapping around his weapons.

?Let?s just call it Agony Incarnate.? Odiar said with a grin, ?It?s only for very special cases. Like, if someone was to hurt you,? he smiled kindly, ?Then I?d use it.?

?What does it do??

?Two things.? Odiar said, sitting down, looking proud of himself. ?Firstly, it spreads a poison made purely out of chakra, that goes through the tenketsu into the body. It makes people become more and more feral, losing their sense of self. And the other thing? well, I?ll tell you another day.? He stood up and ruffled Kuraze?s hair, ?Such an inquisitive kid, ain?tcha??
_
This must be the next stage of the poison, Kuraze realised, as Naruto writhed around like an animal. Foam was spraying against the walls, Naruto?s fingernails were clawing at the floor, ripping it to shreds.

No.

Naruto?s claws.

With a gasp of absolute horror, Kuraze realised the foam was beginning to turn a deep red. Falling backwards, Kuraze watched as the writing Naruto seemed to almost grow before him, his muscles expanding with a sickening crunching noise. His teeth tore through his lips as his consciousness vanished into the abyss, allowing the Kyuubi to take over. 

Blood splattered on the floor as Naruto?s fangs ripped through his arm, his talons clawing at the wound on his back. The beast let out a roar of rage and agony before, with a shuddering quake, it fell silent.

?Naruto??? Kuraze asked, inching forward. The air was deathly still, the blood-coloured foam decorating the tunnel around him like a macabre bubble bath. ?Naruto, are you???

From deep within, the beast growled. A low, rumbling snarl that grew louder, until it erupted into a howl as the Kyuubi whipped round to face him. 

Fangs bared, the beast lunged towards Kuraze who ducked away, milliseconds before the wall behind him was obliterated by the claws of the demon. Spinning away, Kuraze steadied himself as the Kyuubi charged him, its claws raised. Swinging the staff from behind his back, Kuraze blocked the talons with a shattering screech. He twirled and dislodged the claws from the staff before sending the end of it into the side of Naruto?s head, blasting him into the wall of the tunnel.

Cracks spread across the tunnel?s sides as the underground base began to collapse with the weight of the monster?s movements. Dodging falling rubble, Kuraze saw the Kyuubi lung towards him against. Its clawed hand cut through a falling boulder and smashed Kuraze on the side of the face, sending him spinning backwards, through the crumbling wall that shattered around him and out into the night sky.

Against the light of the full moon, the demon leapt through the air, driving his fist into Kuraze?s suspended body. The sonic boom that erupted from this blow ripped leaves from their branches as Kuraze catapulted to the floor. 

Through the dust that burst forth with his arrival on the ground, Kuraze saw the Kyuubi open its mouth to howl once more before spreading its arms and falling towards him, claws ready to strike.


-


The vision before Jiraiya?s eyes was fading to black as his knees hit the floor.

?Yes, do you feel it?? Odiar barked, ?Do you feel my strength?? The hands had spread up Jiraiya?s arms, over his neck and into his mouth. More arms had boiled and burst from the inside of Jiraiya?s organs whilst more fingers closed around his heart, suffocating his body of its life. This is what separates people like you and me,? Odiar sneered as Jiraiya?s eyes began to glaze over, his breath gagging, ?This is what makes me better than the Gallant Jiraiya, the Legendary Yondaime.? He laughed at the name, watching Jiraiya die, ?This is what makes me stand amongst the greatest people in the world, this? is?  PROGRESS!?

At that moment, an explosion tore through the night, and a beam of red light shot upwards from over the hills, cutting through the clouds. 

?Looks like the battle over there is getting rather interesting?? Odiar mused, ?I see my student was certainly a match for your?? But he froze at the sight of Kuraze soaring towards them. His feet barely touching the floor, Kuraze was air-gliding through the grass, heading straight for Odiar. 

It took a second, but Odiar realised there was something different. Kuraze had changed. It was his eyes. Gone was the absent look of loss. And in its place stood a proud determination.

Suddenly behind Kuraze, over the top of the hill, appeared the Kyuubi. Naruto?s body was coated in a thick layer of chakra, its deep red lighting up the night like illuminated blood. The beast was bearing down on Kuraze, it opened its mouth, summoning a balloon of chakra. The energy condensed into a ball of explosive energy, and with an ear-shattering boom, the Kyuubi released it from its mouth.

Kuraze appeared at his side, but instead of taking evasive action, Kuraze slammed the end of his glowing staff into Odiar?s arm. 

Three things happened one after the other.

Odiar?s grip on Jiraiya was relinguished.

Kuraze grabbed hold of Jiraiya, leaping into the air.

And the ball of Kyuubi?s energy, exploded against Odiar.

Splitting the very atoms of the air, the explosion tore through Odiar?s body so that he could feel every cell of his existence crying in protest, but not enough to mask the rage that exploded inside him. And as the energy bomb tore him into the Cliffside, Odiar swore that with every atom of his being, he would get revenge.




Enjoy!


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## Kakashifan727 (May 29, 2009)

This is....AWESOME! I really love it, and the cliffhanger and ICness of the characters are great!


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## JH24 (May 30, 2009)

Very nice new updates! I really find Odiar more and more interesting. The scenes with Naruto and Kuraze were very well developed too. But my favorite moments have to be the parts were Naruto gets affected by Odiar's poison and Kuraze tries to save him, the scene with Jiraiya, as well as when Naruto transforms. Great and fluid action and very enjoyable to read.


I'm really happy that you have updated your awesome story again! I can't wait to see what you're planning in the next chapters.


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## JH24 (Feb 7, 2010)

Any updates planned for the future?


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## Animus (Feb 7, 2010)

Yeah, I'm curious as well.


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