# Jesus vs Buddha



## Takuza (Dec 17, 2008)

Jesus fights Buddha. Both are at their physical peaks (of their lives).
Round 1) Hand to Hand, not specail abilities
Round 2) Feats shown while each was alive allowed
Round 3) All out


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## BlazeZaku (Dec 17, 2008)

*Round 1:* Well, Jesus was a carpender, so he's got to have some muscle... Then Buddha lived a life of ease because he was a prince, so since he didnt have to do any work he was probobly a weakling, so for this id have to say Jesus.
*Round 2:*  Dont know what Buddha has done, but i belive that is irrelevant considering the fact that Jesus could just come back to life if buddha kills him, and if Jesus really felt like it im sure he could use FORCE OF NATURE POWAH!!!!( OOOH AHH) and totaly destroy Buddha... so once again, Jesus wins.
*Round 3:* Considering the fact that Jesus won the first two times, he is gonna win again.


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## Zetta (Dec 17, 2008)

1. I'm gonna take the muscled 35 year old carpenter over the fat fuck thank you very much.

2. Jesus can resurect himself.

3. True omnipotence versus enlightnenment. Yeah, I'm gonna go with the dude who can blink people out of existance and create all creation in 6 days.


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## Lord Yu (Dec 17, 2008)

They decide that fighting is useless and get an apartment together in Tokyo.
Link removed
lulz ensue.


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## HumanWine (Dec 17, 2008)

,


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## Takuza (Dec 17, 2008)

According to wikipedia, in regards to Buddha. ". A kshatriya by birth, he had military training in his upbringing, and by Shakyan tradition was required to pass tests to demonstrate his worthiness as a warrior in order to marry. He had a strong enough body to be noticed by one of the kings and was asked to join his army as a general. He is also believed by Buddhists to have "the 32 Signs of the Great Man"."
And I did say at their physical peaks


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## Sengoku (Dec 17, 2008)

Wrong one, Zetta. 

1.) Buddha as stated by Takuza.

2.) Depends.

3.) Buddha again.


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## BlazeZaku (Dec 17, 2008)

Takuza said:


> According to wikipedia, in regards to Buddha. ". A kshatriya by birth, he had military training in his upbringing, and by Shakyan tradition was required to pass tests to demonstrate his worthiness as a warrior in order to marry. He had a strong enough body to be noticed by one of the kings and was asked to join his army as a general. He is also believed by Buddhists to have "the 32 Signs of the Great Man"."
> And I did say at their physical peaks



I smell an anonymous wikipedia editor


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## Pimp of Pimps (Dec 17, 2008)

*1. Buddha
2. Probably Jesus
3. Jesus*


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## Onomatopoeia (Dec 17, 2008)

Jesus has mad gunfighting skills.


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## Fenix (Dec 18, 2008)

Zetta said:


> 1. I'm gonna take the muscled 35 year old carpenter over the fat fuck thank you very much.
> 
> 2. Jesus can resurect himself.
> 
> 3. True omnipotence versus enlightnenment. Yeah, I'm gonna go with the dude who can blink people out of existance and create all creation in 6 days.



heh you really are 13. Oh man I hope I don't get a "I TROLLED YOU" back :amazed



1. Buddha
2. Jesus, close call
3. Tie


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## Zetta (Dec 18, 2008)

Fenix said:


> *heh you really are 13*. Oh man I hope I don't get a "I TROLLED YOU" back :amazed





Fenix said:


> *heh you really are 13*





Fenix said:


> *13*





Fenix said:


> * 13*





Fenix said:


> * 13*



What?

Did you just call a uni law student and part time published freelance writer 13? 

I just can't over that... what the fuck?


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## Darth Nihilus (Dec 18, 2008)

1. Buddha
2. Jesus
3. Jesus


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## Platinum (Dec 18, 2008)

1. They were both in pretty good physical shape so too close to call.
2. Jesus has revival hax he takes this
3. Jesus takes this again.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

Buddha takes one and two with no trouble at all. He was born in the warrior caste after all, and warriors > Carpenters. Jesus can revive himself once, but he still gets omgwtfpwnt by Buddha again.


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## Deer_Hunter_ (Dec 18, 2008)

why is people giving victories Buddha over Jesus

Jesus is OMNIPOTENT

Buddha was a mortal being who got enlightened

Jesus is GOD, fuck enlightening

Buddha gets speedblitzted and sent to another universe over and over again for a trillion years everything in a blink of an eye


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## Zaelapolopollo (Dec 18, 2008)

Is it Gantz Abridged Buddha?


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## Aokiji (Dec 18, 2008)

Takuza said:


> Jesus fights Buddha. Both are at their physical peaks (of their lives).
> Round 1) Hand to Hand, not specail abilities
> Round 2) Feats shown while each was alive allowed
> Round 3) All out



I feel like pulling an infinite facepalm.


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## Deer_Hunter_ (Dec 18, 2008)

Aokiji said:


> I feel like pulling an infinite facepalm.



This

/Thread


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 18, 2008)

Does Jesus get his Qu'ran feats as well?


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## Herekic (Dec 18, 2008)

> Originally Posted by Zetta  View Post
> 1. I'm gonna take the muscled 35 year old carpenter over the fat fuck thank you very much.
> 
> 2. Jesus can *resurect* himself.
> ...






> What?
> 
> Did you just call a uni law student and part time published freelance *writer* 13?
> 
> I just can't over that... what the fuck?






style over substance is sometimes fun.


also, about buddha's powers: read the story of the monkey king. then tell me if he only has enlightenment. also it took jesus days to revive himself.




anyways:
1: buddha
2: buddha
3: hard to say, but going by pure feats buddha


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## Zetta (Dec 18, 2008)

Azure Flame Kite said:


> Does Jesus get his Qu'ran feats as well?


Jesus is in the Qu'ran? Really? 




Herekic said:


> style over substance is sometimes fun.


You try writing a semi-coherent post at 5 AM while studying for your exams.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

Zetta said:


> Jesus is in the Qu'ran? Really?



Qu'ran is Old Testament + New Testament - Jesus is a Messiah + Prophet Mohammad



> You try writing a semi-coherent post at 5 AM while studying for your exams.



You shouldn't be writing ANY kind of post at 5AM while studying for your exams.


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## Zetta (Dec 18, 2008)

skiboydoggy said:


> Qu'ran is Old Testament + New Testament - Jesus is a Messiah + Prophet Mohammad


Never got religion at school. State schools and all that.



> You shouldn't be writing ANY kind of post at 5AM while studying for your exams.


That's...true.

But considering I have 2 weeks to study, I feel I can take it easy a little.


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## The Bloody Nine (Dec 18, 2008)

skiboydoggy said:


> Qu'ran is Old Testament + New Testament *- Jesus is a Messiah* + Prophet Mohammad



Nope. Jesus is the Messiah in the Quran too. Only difference is that he is just a prophet and not the actual son of God. 

Though as far as i can remember his only feats are speaking as a baby and curing illness' with a touch.

Also maybe it was him or Abraham - but one of them turned stones into birds.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

The Bloody Nine said:


> Nope. Jesus is the Messiah in the Quran too. Only difference is that he is just a prophet and not the actual son of God.
> 
> Though as far as i can remember his only feats are speaking as a baby and curing illness' with a touch.
> 
> Also maybe it was him or Abraham - but one of them turned stones into birds.


I was sure Mohammad was the Messiah.


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## Pimp of Pimps (Dec 18, 2008)

The Bloody Nine said:


> Nope. Jesus is the Messiah in the Quran too. Only difference is that he is just a prophet and not the actual son of God.
> 
> Though as far as i can remember his only feats are speaking as a baby and curing illness' with a touch.
> 
> Also maybe it was him or Abraham - but one of them turned stones into birds.



*He wasn't the messiah, but he was a prophet like you said. *


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## Herekic (Dec 18, 2008)

> You try writing a semi-coherent post at 5 AM while studying for your exams.



I did.

you called it a joke and said it was not worth responding to.

lol.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 18, 2008)

The Bloody Nine said:


> Also maybe it was him or Abraham - but one of them turned stones into birds.



It was Jesus that did that, and that is the feat that will win him this fight 

Seriously, turn the stone into a killer pteradactoyl (sp?)

GG Buddha.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

Azure Flame Kite said:


> It was Jesus that did that, and that is the feat that will win him this fight
> 
> Seriously, turn the stone into a killer pteradactoyl (sp?)
> 
> GG Buddha.


Buddha uses Buddha Palm on it.


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## mystictrunks (Dec 18, 2008)

Jesus pulls out all the loony Gnostic stuff.


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## Agmaster (Dec 18, 2008)

Doesn't Buddha like destroy anyone that cannot kill him within three strikes?


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## The Bloody Nine (Dec 18, 2008)

Pimp of Pimps said:


> *He wasn't the messiah, but he was a prophet like you said. *



Actually im pretty sure he WAS the messiah - muslims also believe in Jesus' second coming and that he will be the only one able to stop the anti-christ.



skiboydoggy said:


> Buddha uses Buddha Palm on it.



Jesus teleports behind him and touches him. Yep teleportation. Genuine Quran feat - at least i suppose that what you would call suddenly ending up in heaven before the romans got to you.

Muslim mythology is actually pretty awesome. The prophet Muhammed was once quoted saying (though im not sure how reliable the quote was) that "near the end of time man-kind shall return to fighting with swords and spears" which was said to confuse his companion.


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## Takuza (Dec 18, 2008)

I'd say
1) Buddha
2) Jesus turns the water in Buddha's body into wine.
3) Jesus fairly easily, because I  suppose he would be all powerful at this point.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

Takuza said:


> I'd say
> 1) Buddha
> 2) Jesus turns the water in Buddha's body into wine.
> 3) Jesus fairly easily, because I  suppose he would be all powerful at this point.


Buddha reverses the flow of blood in Jesus' body.


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## The Bloody Nine (Dec 18, 2008)

Takuza said:


> I'd say
> 2) Jesus turns the water in Buddha's body into wine.






He could also flick a crumb of bread, or a drop of water at buddah - and then in mid-flick make it enough to fill 500 (is that how much it was?) people, thus drowning or crushing Buddah.


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## Darth Nihilus (Dec 18, 2008)

Buddha uses his eyes to scare Jesus into submission. :xzaru


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## BAD BD (Dec 18, 2008)

Jesus calls God. Not outside interference because they are the same person.


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## Fenix (Dec 18, 2008)

Zetta said:


> What?
> 
> Did you just call a uni law student and part time published freelance writer 13?
> 
> I just can't over that... what the fuck?





Zetta said:


> You try writing a semi-coherent post at 5 AM while studying for your exams.



What, we're bragging about having a normal career now?!  jeez

...


BAD BD said:


> Jesus calls God. Not outside interference because they are the same person.



Yea but...Buddha vs God isn't really a lopsided battle either way


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## Red (Dec 18, 2008)

Jesus wins in every single scenario. 

EXtra scenario: they all go out for a drink and tell atheist jokes about themselves.


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## Magellan (Dec 18, 2008)

So a True ultimate omnipotent vs a Fat Blob who is a made up wanna be god. Hmmm im going with the one who can prbly destroy us all in last then a millasecond.


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## BAD BD (Dec 18, 2008)

Fenix said:


> Yea but...Buddha vs God isn't really a lopsided battle either way



I want omnipotence from budda.


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## Akatora (Dec 18, 2008)

Buddha ain't weak

Traping Son Goku in a rock for 500 years so he could learn his place and having the option of weaving the world into his desire.(at least according to the Journey west game, been 8 years might be remembering wrong) 

Jesus did impressive things but they were defencive and curing not offensive and injuring.


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## Takuza (Dec 18, 2008)

UBO said:


> So a True ultimate omnipotent vs a Fat Blob who is a made up wanna be god. Hmmm im going with the one who can prbly destroy us all in last then a millasecond.



I don't think you've read this thread, nor do I believe that you know anything about Buhhda kind sir,


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## Jinibea (Dec 18, 2008)

Jesus is real thats the thing.
 He made the Universe. He is true omipotence. How can I get this through your thick skull.


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## Fenix (Dec 18, 2008)

Jinibea said:


> *Jesus is real thats the thing.*



Well there goes the thread down to the drains




> *How can I get this through your thick skull.*




I think you can start by getting a real education


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 18, 2008)

Buddha was real too.


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## BAD BD (Dec 18, 2008)

Fenix said:


> Well there goes the thread down to the drains
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Going by the bible Jesus is god and god is omnipotent.

I haven't heard of budda being omnipotent.


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## Takuza (Dec 18, 2008)

Jinibea said:


> Jesus is real thats the thing.
> He made the Universe. He is true omipotence. How can I get this through your thick skull.



Firstly, your religious views don't really matter in this thread. I disagree with your statement, but it's not part of the topic, so lets leave it at that.



BAD BD said:


> Going by the bible Jesus is god and god is omnipotent.
> 
> I haven't heard of budda being omnipotent.



Which only indicates that he would win match 3, and still leaves the others up to debate.


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## Kind of a big deal (Dec 18, 2008)

Guys the fun will really begin when we start to discuss what the canon feats are.

Anyways..

Round 1, Buddha wins, he has military training and possibly in a higher weight class (har har)
Round 2 will actually not be violent but more of a battle of mind and willpower. they're very alike in that aspect, but since Jesus is more .. sacrificial he might toss the towel in the ring after a while, I dunno, that would make him the moral winner in some crazy way.. round 2 sucks anyway, there would eb a lot of mediating and soul searching
Round 3, ehh yeah that would mean that Jesus is omnipotent and indirectly created the universe and everything in a few days.


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## bitesize (Dec 18, 2008)

Allah vs Xenu vs Jesus

Go!


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## Rache (Dec 18, 2008)

Fk that Jesus rides dinosaurs.
And everyone knows Jesus riding dinosaurs stomps.


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## BAD BD (Dec 18, 2008)

Jesus's feats include god's feats as he is god.


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## Red (Dec 18, 2008)

BAD BD said:


> Jesus's feats include god's feats as he is god.


Depending on what bible you're going by this isn't always the case.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

The Holy Trinity are not always seen as the same person. Also, I feel like negging everyone who calls Buddha a fat slob. It's an insult to anyone, but especially to the guy WHO DIDN'T EAT BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A CARNAL DESIRE. That is, until his disciples begged him, but that's another story for another day.


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## Sengoku (Dec 18, 2008)

You know, Buddha actually believed that there are no gods.
So on Buddha's defense, such things do not and can NOT exist.


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## Pimp of Pimps (Dec 18, 2008)

The Bloody Nine said:


> Actually im pretty sure he WAS the messiah - muslims also believe in Jesus' second coming and that he will be the only one able to stop the anti-christ.



*We believe he never died, so it's not really a second coming just returning from a very very long journey. 

and no, he was not the messiah in the Quran just a prophet. *


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 18, 2008)

Sengoku said:


> You know, Buddha actually believed that there are no gods.
> So on Buddha's defense, such things do not and can NOT exist.


He was still deified in the end though, according to most sects anyway. There are some who believe only in his philosophies and not his godhood.


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## The Bloody Nine (Dec 18, 2008)

Pimp of Pimps said:


> *We believe he never died, so it's not really a second coming just returning from a very very long journey.
> 
> and no, he was not the messiah in the Quran just a prophet. *



Every thing you say is true except the last bit. I checked it out and he is DEFINITELY the messiah. 

1) Because he is the guy that will save the world from the anti-christ.

2) I was told his name comes from the arabic word masaeh, which very roughly translates as "wiper", because he would wipe his hands across somebodies afflictions and they would be healed.


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## Dracule Mihawk (Dec 19, 2008)

lol @ Buddha being fat.

End of life Buddha was skinny as hell because he survived on one grain of rice everyday  for a month or something like that. 

Chinese people just wanted Buddha To be fat.


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## BAD BD (Dec 19, 2008)

Red said:


> Depending on what bible you're going by this isn't always the case.



I chose the one that does. 

He uses god powers to break the rules and use god powers.


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## Sengoku (Dec 19, 2008)

Again, wrong. There are several Buddhas. Buddha isn't just one person. But seeing as how we are talking about Gatama (sp), *I seriously do not get* how people confused Siddhartha with the chinese laughing buddha.


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## Jinibea (Dec 19, 2008)

Fine. 3 goes to Jesus. 1 prbly goes to Buddah. 2 Jesus. Didn't mean to insult anyone here.


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## Dexion (Dec 19, 2008)

Jesus is the son of Jehovah, Jehovah is the creator of life, the universe and has no beginning or no end, aka the alpha and the omega. Jesus while he was on earth is the fleshly embodiment of the Archangel Jesus, who now resides in heaven until the time comes to banish Satan from the earth. <- I did not get this off any online encyclopedia either.

I doubt in this world he is going to lose to Buddha since well he has the power of GOD on his side and all.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 19, 2008)

He has God on his side only in an all-out fight, that is 3. He'll get stomped in 1 and 2 by the warrior Siddharta though.


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## HumanWine (Dec 19, 2008)

Flamebait thread.


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## Kazuma the Shell Bullet (Dec 19, 2008)

Don't know about 1 and 2, but 3 is a stalemate. Jesus will just keep coming back to life and Buddha will keep reincarnating


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## Banhammer (Dec 19, 2008)

Takuza said:


> Jesus fights Buddha. Both are at their physical peaks (of their lives).
> Round 1) Hand to Hand, not specail abilities


Carpenter power. He uses a crossbow, a pike, a stake, a fork, or any of the carpenter tools to kill Budha


> Round 2) Feats shown while each was alive allowed


He solo'ed dozens. I'm not aware of Buda's


> Round 3) All out



Summon hordes of supernatural beings with superpowered FTW


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## Takuza (Dec 19, 2008)

I did really mean for them to use weapons...
And I'm not doubting you, why would Jesus have a crossbow?


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 19, 2008)

Jesus would have a crossbow only for it to be useless like most bows are in melee combat and get shredded by Buddha's warrior-caste skillz.


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## Fleecy (Dec 19, 2008)

If we go by Monkey King feats, then Buddha stomps the first one.  Mountain-crushing palm ftw. 

I think the other two would be won by Jesus though.


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## Banhammer (Dec 19, 2008)

Takuza said:


> I did really mean for them to use weapons...
> And I'm not doubting you, why would Jesus have a crossbow?



Cross-Bow?



Nothing?


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 19, 2008)

Fleecy said:


> If we go by Monkey King feats, then Buddha stomps the first one.  Mountain-crushing palm ftw.
> 
> I think the other two would be won by Jesus though.


More like palm-became-a-mountain.


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## Canute87 (Dec 19, 2008)

Jesus enters God mode and decimates Buddha.


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## Herekic (Dec 19, 2008)

buddha is the eastern equal to jehova, people know that right?


he's not some enlightened guy, he is full on end all god. 

he also has a reality warping feat in the monkey king that makes anything jesus has ever doen seem sad.


seriously the people talking here don't seem to actually know much about buddha. just "god is god so he wins", without remebering that there is more then one religion with an all powerful god


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 19, 2008)

> without remebering that there is more then one religion *with an all powerful god*



Buddhism is an Atheism, so how does that work out?


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 19, 2008)

Azure Flame Kite said:


> Buddhism is an Atheism, so how does that work out?


Buddhism is a philosophy, as well as a religion that is practiced in India and assimilated into Chinese Taoism.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 19, 2008)

A religion that has no God/s, so it also falls under Atheism.


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## mystictrunks (Dec 19, 2008)

Azure Flame Kite said:


> A religion that has no God/s.



That depends who you ask, Buddhism has an infinite number of variations and an infinite number of God(s) to match.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 19, 2008)

Azure Flame Kite said:


> A religion that has no God/s, so it also falls under Atheism.


Does the term 'Buddha' not invoke images of a fat deity with funny hair? There's your god right there.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 19, 2008)

> That depends who you ask, Buddhism has an infinite number of variations and an infinite number of God(s) to match.



I'm trying to decide if I should reply with a serious answer, or make a joke that gets me nowhere in the conversation 

Guess which one I decided on 



> Does the term 'Buddha' not invoke images of a fat deity with funny hair? There's your god right there.



He's not really a diety. 
He's a guy that found enlightenment.

He didn't create the universe, and begin all life as we know it.


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## skiboydoggy (Dec 19, 2008)

Azure Flame Kite said:


> He's not really a diety.
> He's a guy that found enlightenment.
> 
> He didn't create the universe, and begin all life as we know it.



I guess it's time to start discussing East Asian religion then. 
Now, Buddhism is at its core, not a religion at all. Siddharta was not a believer in such things, and certainly did not intend for his teachings to become what they are today. But they grew anyway, and along the way, picked up quite a few things from India's Hinduism and China's Taoism. Chief amongst these ideas is that of the Cycle of Reincarnation.

When a person dies, his or her soul is sent to be judged according to his or her karma, accumulated in life through deeds. Good karma for good deeds, bad karma for bad deeds. This is a significant deviation from its original form in Hinduism, of which Siddharta had practiced in life and thus probably influenced his beliefs, but I won't go into those details right now.

So basically, a soul's karma decides his or her position in the circle of life. Generally good souls are reborn as humans, while souls with poorer karma are reborn as lesser beings, basically meaning animals. Generally mammals are higher on the scale while insects are lower, but that's not the point.

A person with _perfect_ karma, living his life for the greater good of the world with no want of reward (the elimination of desire is pretty important in Buddhism), transcends this circle and becomes one of several levels of deities. And amongst these deities, THE Buddha is chief amongst them.

They also have ridiculous powers like summoning mountains out of thin air, incidentally.

Anyway, while not exactly Alpha and Omega, Buddha is a god all the same, just not one with a capital 'G'. That's mostly the cast in polytheistic religions.


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## Sengoku (Dec 19, 2008)

I'm pretty sure the OP intended this to be Siddhartha and no one else.


Also, whoever said Buddhism is Atheism.. You might as well say Christianity is Paganism. But lets not tread there.


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## Azure Flame Fright (Dec 19, 2008)

When I said Buddhism was Atheism I meant like the classification you know.

Polytheism = Many Gods

Monotheism = One God

Atheism = No Gods

And as far as I knew, until now, Buddhism had no Gods, only an enlightened guy and a form of heaven.


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## thrawn (inactive) (Dec 20, 2008)

1) Jesus will win , he has enough endurance to survive bleeding from every pore for a time long enough for His apostles to fall asleep, tell me if buddha can do that
he also fasted for 40 days and nights and he was strong enough to destroy the market around the twmple at jerusalem with a whip(?).
2)Jesus
3)Jesus


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## Dracule Mihawk (Dec 20, 2008)

skiboydoggy said:


> I guess it's time to start discussing East Asian religion then.
> Now, Buddhism is at its core, not a religion at all. Siddharta was not a believer in such things, and certainly did not intend for his teachings to become what they are today. But they grew anyway, and along the way, picked up quite a few things from India's Hinduism and China's Taoism. Chief amongst these ideas is that of the Cycle of Reincarnation.
> 
> When a person dies, his or her soul is sent to be judged according to his or her karma, accumulated in life through deeds. Good karma for good deeds, bad karma for bad deeds. This is a significant deviation from its original form in Hinduism, of which Siddharta had practiced in life and thus probably influenced his beliefs, but I won't go into those details right now.
> ...



He basically removed Gods from Hinduism and showed his way to moksha which was renamed as nirvana.


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## enzymeii (Dec 21, 2008)

*Round 1) Hand to Hand, not specail abilities*
Well, Siddhartha Gautama was a prince trained in the arts of battle at his physical peak, so he takes this rather easily.  
*Round 2) Feats shown while each was alive allowed*
The problem here is that Buddhism has an open cannon whist Christianity's cannon is closes, ie Buddha's feats have been added to over the millenia.  Jesus could try to turn all of the water in Gautama's body into wine, but then Buddha could just momentarily fade into a higher dimensional plane.
*Round 3) All out*
Jesus is God, but Buddha is Void.  This is like saying existence vs nonexistence.  It's not a fight, but a breathing in and out.


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## enzymeii (Dec 21, 2008)

Dracule Mihawk said:
			
		

> He basically removed Gods from Hinduism and showed his way to moksha which was renamed as nirvana.



No not at all.  Buddha actually went against the teaching that better actions lead to better re-births, or at least he disputed that that was a worthy goal.  He said that even if you are reborn in heaven (the Hindu goal at the time) you are still subject to Dukkha, or suffering roughly translated, because all you are doing is simply seeking pleasure for yourself by seeking heaven.  The goal of Buddhism at the time of the schism, therefore, is a "blowing out" (literal translation of nirvana) of the candle of life and death and therefore not seeking for heaven or hell, but a complete openness and acceptance of whatever comes your way.  Of course, this is not simply nihilism either, as the Buddha always emphasized that the path consisted of integrating emptiness _with_ universal compassion.  om mani padme hum- the diamond is in the lotus, or compassion is in emptiness.


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## Sasaki Kojirō (Dec 21, 2008)

Hilarious thread


enzymeii said:


> Jesus is God, but Buddha is Void.  This is like saying existence vs nonexistence.  It's not a fight, but a breathing in and out.



What a great answer


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## Cthulhu-versailles (Dec 21, 2008)

This thread both a mockery and display of relgiousity.
.....


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## Dexion (Dec 21, 2008)

Redux-shika boo said:


> This thread both a mockery and display of relgiousity.
> .....



Agreed wholeheartedly


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## Steven Pinhead (Dec 21, 2008)

Jesus fights Buddha. Both are at their physical peaks (of their lives).
Round 1) Siddartha Guatama was a member of the warrior caste.

Round 2) Since the Bible is a load, Buddha

Round 3) Buddha


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## Ae (Jan 1, 2009)

Buddha wins all of course read more about him and you'll know


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## Takuza (Jan 1, 2009)

^  I don't see any possible way he could win the last one.


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## The Bloody Nine (Jan 1, 2009)

Kaiji said:


> Buddha wins all of course read more about him and you'll know



So you couldn't stand to enlighten us just a little ?


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## enzymeii (Jan 2, 2009)

Takuza said:
			
		

> ^ I don't see any possible way he could win the last one.



Why would he have to?



			
				The Bloody Nine said:
			
		

> So you couldn't stand to enlighten us just a little ?



mu!


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## Takuza (Jan 2, 2009)

enzymeii said:


> Why would he have to?
> 
> 
> 
> mu!



I don't HAVE to, but the point of this sub forum is to, ya know, come to conclusions about various battles. So it would be nice if he would explain his reasoning, as  I don't understand how Buhhda would be able to defeat literal omnipotence.


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## Stroev (Jan 2, 2009)

They decide violence is not the answer and thne go out to save the wooooorld!


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## enzymeii (Jan 3, 2009)

Takuza said:


> I don't HAVE to, but the point of this sub forum is to, ya know, come to conclusions about various battles. So it would be nice if he would explain his reasoning, as  I don't understand how Buhhda would be able to defeat literal omnipotence.



literal voidness


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## Takuza (Jan 3, 2009)

enzymeii said:


> literal voidness



That's not winning, that's at best a draw. Even though beating something that doesn't exist may fall under omnipotence.


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## enzymeii (Jan 3, 2009)

Takuza said:


> That's not winning, that's at best a draw. Even though beating something that doesn't exist may fall under omnipotence.



Can god create a rock so big he can't lift it?


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## enzymeii (Jan 4, 2009)

Then He doesn't have literal omnipotence, at least in the way we would conceive of literal omnipotence.  When you attempt to apply logic and categories to something which so utterly transcends either of them, logic comes up short, and ultimately devalues both itself and the divine.


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## Ax_ (Jan 4, 2009)

enzymeii said:


> Can god create a rock so big he can't lift it?



He can give up his omnipotence if he wants to, since this is basically what you are asking (can God make something impossible for himself to do?).

Of course, the question is, why would he want that?


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## Takuza (Jul 12, 2009)

Ax_ said:


> He can give up his omnipotence if he wants to, since this is basically what you are asking (can God make something impossible for himself to do?).
> 
> Of course, the question is, why would he want that?



If he can't lift the rock without giving up his omnipotence, doesn't that make him not omnipotent? I mean, that's a limit.


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## Way-Man (Jul 12, 2009)




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## Onomatopoeia (Jul 12, 2009)

This thread makes Ultra Jesus cry.


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## dark messiah verdandi (Jul 12, 2009)

why on earth did you necro this horrible thread 
so filled with hyperbole, and non-canon feats...

1. sidharta wins. he was a very muscular man who was a kyshatria before he became enlightened. if you don't really know what a kyshatria is, it is basicaly an indian warlord.
he would HAVE to had done daily battle drills since it was the tradition of the kyshatria caste.

in effect, think of it like a indian version of a knight or samurai family.

2. with powers, buddha trancends physical reality itself. he had the higest order of psychic powers and ascetic abilities. there is a passage that says buddha is the teacher of the gods themselves.

3. all out, buddha had trancended the mortal coils, and was omnipotent and omnicient. and truely so. there is no word spoken in the pentanuch or the new testament that says YHWH is infact omnipotnent or omnicient.

there are a few passages that allude to his power, yet it is also said that to become a god, one only needed the two fruits from the garden of eden.

simply put YHWH Kept his haxx away from humans so they would not ever reach their true potential as deities.

at most Jesus can invoke YHWH'S power and gain psychokinesis. at most. he showed no omnipotence.

I lol at people trying to ascribe plato's definition of divinity to YHWH.


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## Narcissus (Jul 12, 2009)

This should've stayed in the grave where it belongs.

But if nothing else I'll at least have something else o add to the wiki's religion page.


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## Lucaniel (Jul 12, 2009)




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## dark messiah verdandi (Jul 12, 2009)

brilliant  and I hate micheal jackson songs 
+reps.

Buddha looked so cool 

so did satan


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## Lucaniel (Jul 12, 2009)

It's a good thing that Ishida made this strip recently, I wouldn't have wanted to dig it out of the 3000+ strips in the Sinfest archive, heh. The moment I saw this title, I knew what was needed.

Buddha, just Buddha.


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## Thunder God (Jul 12, 2009)

Takuza said:


> If he can't lift the rock without giving up his omnipotence, doesn't that make him not omnipotent? I mean, that's a limit.



What if He can make a rock which He can't lift, but also expand His almost eternal strenght even more so He can lift it? 

Cancel both of them and you get back to square 1 - Omnipotence.


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## Takuza (Jul 12, 2009)

Shaman21 said:


> What if He can make a rock which He can't lift, but also expand His almost eternal strenght even more so He can lift it?
> 
> Cancel both of them and you get back to square 1 - Omnipotence.



Practically speaking, yes. But technically, the fact that a limit can even exist for him would make him none omnipotent But I fear this has nothing to do with the battle, and belongs more in the debate forum than here.


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## ∅ (Jul 13, 2009)

_"Omnipotence is the attribute that are first to God's ability to do whatever is consistent with God's own character and being in affecting the divine plan for creation." - Pocket dictionary: Theological terms_

Looks like Buddha has this one in the bag.

Also most people don't seem to understand the Omnipotence paradox, the whole concept of it is to prove that one can't be omnipotent because then you couldn't make self-imposed limitations.

There are ways around the omnipotence paradox, but those ways can easily be dismissed by minor alterations in the formulation of the question.


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## Azrael Finalstar (Jul 13, 2009)

As a Christian , i'll have to go with Jesus in all three.


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## Takuza (Jul 13, 2009)

hadomaru said:


> As a Christian , i'll have to go with Jesus in all three.



I don't see how your religion affects the first 2 matches in any way.


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## dark messiah verdandi (Jul 13, 2009)

hadomaru said:


> As a Christian , i'll have to go with Jesus in all three.



as a troll, I must lol.

1. Yehoshua ben joseph had no formal training as a warrior. he lived his life as a cult leader, trying to turn his people to the way, the truth, and the light.
(In his words.) sidhartta gautama was a war-prince. yes he had hoes out the ass, and lived in luxury, but the kyshatria tradition dictates that he would always need to be prepared for war, so he would have been fully trained as such. it is even said that the buddha was a kalaripiyattu master.

(In case you didn't know, kalaripiyattu is the worlds oldest preserved martial art. and the first organized one.)


2. buddha has much more hype and rep than jesus, and his actual powers included the kevatta sutta (the highest psychic powers in existance.), omniscience, dominion over maya (I.E reality manipulation)
, and the ability to grant both of those things by just actively preaching the dharma.

this means, unlike being saved in christianity, people who listen to buddha just once become buddha themselves. it is about trancending the illusion known as reality.

It is quite simular to gnosticism in that fashion.

and that is the "human buddha" of theravada buddhism.

in mahayana buddhism, gautama buddha became eternity. beyond the scope of a deity, he became an abstract concept with an ego. totally infinite, totally all powerful and all knowing. far beyond the power range of YHWH, who is just the god of the physical plane.

(If you haven't researched, YHWH is one of many. he uses the word "WE" when originally speaking of the divine.)


and finally, yehoshua's formal power is the miracle of *transubstanciation* or the ability to change the substance of things.

he has none of plato's three atributes of a god. omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresense.

transubstanciation would best be described as... FMA's transmutation without any laws of alchemy.

If you have seen FATHER/HOMONCULUS, then he would have been an acurate portrail of how yehoshua's powers worked.
It was the ability to change the properties of matter according to his whim.

powerful yes, but not infinite.

even YHWH wasn't given the atributes of a classical god. he just had control over the universe. and not reality warping or omnipotence, just Psychokinesis.

(Psychokinesis is the power to affect the physical world by thought, and control the pillars of the universe. space,time,matter, forces.)


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## Azrael Finalstar (Jul 13, 2009)

Takuza said:


> I don't see how your religion affects the first 2 matches in any way.


Cuz he's omnipotent?


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## Onomatopoeia (Jul 13, 2009)

Jesus had mad skeelz yo. He's a crackshot with a pistol and he can ressurect himself.


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## Takuza (Jul 13, 2009)

hadomaru said:


> Cuz he's omnipotent?



I think it's clear that he's not omnipotent in the first 2 fights.


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## dark messiah verdandi (Jul 13, 2009)

Takuza said:


> I think it's clear that he's not omnipotent in the first 2 fights.



Its clear he isn't omnipotent from manga... I mean, holy bible facts.

jesus had the power of transubstanciation. the power over matter.
he could make a piece of fish and bread feed a village. how? by making the food infinitely grow back after being split. controling the molecules in water so it becomes wine, and curing disaese by changing the properties of the body.

It is just like transmutation with a philosophers stone... but yehoshua WAS the philosopher himself.


(did you guys know there was a manga bible? )


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## Azrael Finalstar (Jul 13, 2009)

2nd  one, he showed he was God so yeah.


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## dark messiah verdandi (Jul 13, 2009)

hadomaru said:


> 2nd  one, he showed he was God so yeah.



there is no place in the bible that says jesus is god. none.
the holy trinity isn't even in the bible. it was created later by the warring churches that were torn in dispute as to whether jesus was "deus incarnum"

or just a man. the catholics believed the former, thus their influence started to change canon to their aproval.

jesus himself says he is only a man, and that we are all god's childeren, so him being god's child is a moot point. the whole point was for him to say
 "you all can be like me, just believe in god."

jesus was NOT god. just as much as ADAM was not (If you notice, they would have looked like a palette swap of each other. both being clones of YHWH)


ALSO. christianity only started using plato's definition of a god about a thousand years after it was made. YHWH was not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent.

after all, he rested.   and he has flaws out the asshole. he is not perfect at all.


eternal buddha was FAR beyond YHWH in scope and power. FAAAR.
just because christianity is a dominant force in religion, do not mistake it's congregation for its deity's individual power.

YHWH is quite low-tier when it comes to gods.


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## Onomatopoeia (Jul 13, 2009)

Even if he did show he was God that's not a feat.

Jesus can no more be given God's feats than Base Goku can be given SSJ3 Goku's feats. Sure they're the same person(not that I believe this, it's just for the sake of argument), but to claim they should both be given the same feats is blatantly attempting to subvert the spirit of the rules by challenging the letter.


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## Omega Level (Jul 13, 2009)

dark messiah verdandi said:


> there is no place in the bible that says jesus is god. none.
> the holy trinity isn't even in the bible. it was created later by the warring churches that were torn in dispute as to whether jesus was "deus incarnum"
> 
> or just a man. the catholics believed the former, thus their influence started to change canon to their aproval.
> ...



Jesus said in Matthew 28:19 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit".Sure looks like the trinity to me. Read the whole Bible before you start talking crap....it makes you look stupid and ignorant.

Lol and creating the universe and everything in it by just talking it into existence is low tier? lol
What is a "high" tier god to you?


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## Onomatopoeia (Jul 13, 2009)

> Jesus said in Matthew 28:19 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit".Sure looks like the trinity to me. Read the whole Bible before you start talking crap....it makes you look stupid and ignorant.



He asserts that the Catholics changed Bible canon, so simply quoting random BS from the Bible won't help your case.


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## Omega Level (Jul 13, 2009)

Onomatopoeia said:


> He asserts that the Catholics changed Bible canon, so simply quoting random BS from the Bible won't help your case.



He/She claimed the holy trinity was not in the Bible. I just proved He/She wrong. Im not building a case, im just curing ignorance of a touchy subject.


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## Onomatopoeia (Jul 13, 2009)

He went on to claim:


> was created later by the warring churches that were torn in dispute as to whether jesus was "deus incarnum"
> 
> or just a man. the catholics believed the former, thus their influence started to change canon to their aproval.



What this means is that "The Trinity isn't even in the Bible" is not a claim to be taken literally, but an assertion that it was not originally in the Bible, but has since been added by the influence of the Catholic Church.

Not that it particularly matters, since Buddha is the clear winner of Fights 1 & 2.


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## dark messiah verdandi (Jul 13, 2009)

Omega Level said:


> Jesus said in Matthew 28:19 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit".Sure looks like the trinity to me. Read the whole Bible before you start talking crap....it makes you look stupid and ignorant.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



technically, YHWH only created the earth. technically. (the interpritation of the bible changes as our knowledge changes)

also, it lacks the qualities of a truely abstract god. he feels, he wants, he does everything in in his power to entertain himself.

YHWH is just a person with dominion over his creation. not really that much more trancendant than humanity emotionally or spiritually. he is concerned with humanity to a unhealthy amount. like the earth was the only planet that mattered.

he played games with peoples lives, massacred whole civilizations and exterminated humanity more than once.

that shows that YHWH had a human personality. he hadn't trancended that, so in power it was impossible to trancend it.

also, technically, the world is all but 6-7000 years old. however, other religions have deities that are... incalculatable ages. buddha himself is supposed to be timeless and cosmic (I.E beyond just earth in power,), truely trancendant (beyond reality )

and exists in all three timeframes simultaniously (past present future)

YHWH only exists in the present, and is not omnipotent as he has no power over the free will of humanity and has no knowledge of the future. also, it is said that merely eating from the two eden trees would give humanity equal powers.

he is two fruits away from being another joe schmoe.


YHWH only has power over physical matter, however there are deities that have power over EVERYTHING. the physical realm, the spiritual realm, and reality itself.


also since YHWH cannot break his own laws or sin (yeah fuckking right  )
those laws limit his power.

how can YHWH a god, equal someone who trancends the realm of gods?


hell, the white phoenix of the crown would shit on YHWH. 
silver surfer might too....


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## Omega Level (Jul 13, 2009)

YHWH created Man in his own image. So it is not Him who has our personality it is us who have his personality.
YHWH is describes as the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He obviously trancends time.


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## Onomatopoeia (Jul 13, 2009)

> also since YHWH cannot break his own laws or sin (yeah fuckking right



If you wanna get technical, he can't sin because the rules pertaining to sinning are either specifically directed at people other than him or have a built in "Except when I do it" clause.

Thou Shalt Not Kill. God kills all the time, but it's not hypocrisy because he's not saying "No one should kill" he's saying "YOU shuldn't kill". Dude could be a lawyer with that kinda rule bending mojo.


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## ∅ (Jul 13, 2009)

Omega Level said:


> YHWH is describes as the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He obviously trancends time.


If he is the beginning and the ending he's literally two events in time, which doesn't transcend time.


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## Steven Pinhead (Jul 13, 2009)

Since neither had legitimate power, as all religion is fake, it's a fifty fifty shot on who has better physicality.


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## Endless Mike (Jul 15, 2009)

I think it's pretty hilarious that I know more about religion than a lot of people here, despite being an atheist.

Anyway, I know Christians won't want to hear this, but if you go by actual feats in the Bible, YHWH is not omnipotent. Of course there are lots of passages that state him to be "almighty" but the showings don't bear this out. For example:

- He needed 6 days to create the earth, heaven, etc. And he had to rest afterwards.
- When he kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, he mentioned that he was afraid they might eat the fruit from the Tree of Life, which would make them equal to him.
- He had to send messengers to Sodom and Gomorrah to see if things were really as bad as he had heard, instead of just knowing.
- He had trouble beating a tribe of people with iron chariots.

Lots more examples.

Actually, going by historical records, YHWH was just a tribal god of the Israelites, and wasn't originally portrayed as an omnipotent creator deity. Just the Isrealites won a lot of their battles, and as they say, winners write the history books, so they ascribed their victories to their god being more powerful than the gods of the tribes they defeated, like Baal. Of course they had to portray those gods and their worshippers as evil afterwards, to justify killing them.

If you ask me, both Judaism/Christianity and Buddhism's followers have both embellished their deities/prophets over the centuries, adding things on to what was originally written (well Christianity at least stopped most of that at the Council of Nicea, but the damage was done by then).

This is from a purely historical/literary perspective though.

And I refuse to give my opinion on the fight because I really have no idea.


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## Azrael Finalstar (Jul 15, 2009)

Endless Mike said:


> I think it's pretty hilarious that I know more about religion than a lot of people here, despite being an atheist.
> 
> Anyway, I know Christians won't want to hear this, but if you go by actual feats in the Bible, YHWH is not omnipotent. Of course there are lots of passages that state him to be "almighty" but the showings don't bear this out. For example:
> 
> ...



As a christian, i am biased here. But whatever, i don't ge tthe point of this thread, Buddha didn't claim to be God.


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## Keollyn (Jul 15, 2009)

Time to give this a rest


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