# Your Naruto Fanfic Pet Peeves...



## TekJounin (Jan 21, 2005)

Naruto Fan Fiction Pet Peeves




			
				Original first post said:
			
		

> Don't know if this thread was done before...oh well. Me personally have two biggies on this subject.
> 
> 1. When Sasuke/Naruto thinks Sasuke/Naruto is sexy/cute/pretty/hot/etc. then stops and becomes like "Did I just describe him as sexy/cute/pretty/hot/etc?!"
> 
> ...


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## Rurouni (Jan 21, 2005)

I don't like OOCness. It started annoying me after I read hundreds of fics with OOCness in them.


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## Phosphorus (Jan 21, 2005)

Non-usage of spellcheck. 'Nuff said there, too.


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## Nyarlathotep (Jan 21, 2005)

Oh boy, let's see:

1. Self-inserts and Mary Sues (this should go without saying but still)
2. Real life countries in the Naruto World, I once saw a fanfic where Iruka, Gai and Kakashi went to Canada, blegh.
3. Jiraiya takes young Naruto away from the village and when Naruto comes back for the Chuunin exam he somehow gets himself in Team 7 and he's _throwing_ Rasengans out of his ass and everybody is awed by him and he gets Hinata at the end, it was fun the first 1-2 times (despite my hate towards the NaruHina pairing), but now, it just got old.
4. Itachi kidnaps Naruto after killing the Uchiha clan and then Naruto gets into Akatsuki and is uber-powerful and for some weird (and most of the time, stupid) reason, he and Itachi have to go to Konoha for the Chuunin Exams, first, it doesn't make sense, and second, it also got old.
5. Random japanese phrases and words in the fic, I don't care if the translation is at the end in the author notes, most of the time the translation is wrong anyway, however, I like when the author uses honorifics (-sama, -san, etc).
6. Character bashing, but only when it's a fic which only purpose is to bash characters (mostly Sakura and Sasuke, I've seen Ino and Naruto bashing too), if it's a good fic that contains just a little of character bashing I can endure it.
7. Ramen-dobe Naruto, come on, his character is deeper than that, he also doesn't yell all the time, so there's no need to have all his dialogue in capitals.
8. Cardboard cut-outs, nuff' said.
9. Kakashi-being-late jokes, 99% of them aren't funny, yes 99%, I've seen some funny ones.
10. Gai, most of the fics I've read can't get his character right, they either write him too quiet (not very frequent) or exxagerate him (most of the time), and that's such a shame since he rocks.
11. Kyuubi being nice, I don't think I need to elaborate on this.
12. ANBUs, why? they always kill them or make them evil, in most of the 'Naruto-runs-away-from-Konoha' fics, the ANBUs are the ones who beat the crap out of Naruto before KyuubiNaruto/Itachi/randomuberninja/Zabuza (TokehGecko, don't this as an offense or as if I'm talking about your fic, I'm just using it as an example, btw, plot 3 kicks ass) kills them.
13. The Naruto/HP crossovers, I abhor them.
14. Lack of proper grammar and spelling, as long as the fic doesn't make me say: "it's that english? it sure doesn't look like it" it's alright.

There's more, but that's all I can think of the moment.

Rurouni, I didn't know that you read fanfiction, I also don't like OOCness, but  it's possible to make a good OOC fic, if the author can write it as a slow change, it's also possible to start a fic with a character being OOC and in flashbacks show how the character slowly turned into what s/he is now (incredibly hard, but it's possible), or the author can just pull an NGE teather and use the pretext of the character being raised since birth by an individual to explain the OOCness.


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## Kaylani (Jan 22, 2005)

I constantly read fanfics,and I've of course run across some that really make me want to site down and bash my head against the wall numerous times. Three examples of my pet peeves in fanfics:

1. Horrible grammar: 'naruto went to teh ramen stnad bought some ramen then went over to see how Hinata was' does not count as a sentence. Unforunately, not everyone agrees with me on that....

2. The characters' personalitites being extremely over exaggerated. Unlike some writers, I do not believe that Naruto is dumber then a doorknob. I've read some fanfics where I think my friend's guinea pig has a higher I.Q level then the one Naruto is given. 

3. Kakashi constantly being paired with an 'original character'. A.K.A a Mary-Sue. In about a third of these fanfics, the OC is either Naruto or Sasuke's long lost sister.


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## Red Viking (Jan 23, 2005)

1. 'Please make this a suchandsuch fic!' - My biggest fanfic pet peeve.  In nearly every review I read, there's at least 5 people who always say: 'Plz make this a Naru/Hina fic!  They're the bestest couple EVER!'  A really, really good writer has already made up his/her mind how the fic will go.  You're not going to change the writer's mind so please, stop asking.

2. Yaoi/Yuri - I really dislike yaoi/yuri fics because more often then not, the writer just takes two characters who are clearly not gay and makes them so for no reason at all.  I mean, it's OOC in its biggest form in my opinion.  Now, if it were a series like Gravitation, then I'd have no qualms because it's already an established fact that the main character and his love interest are gay.

3. Self-Inserts - More often then not, exactly like a Mary-Sue.  Self-Inserts are popularity death because everyone knows they're lame.

4. Jutsu Names - If you're going to use a jutsu in your Naruto fic, please have the character say it fully in either Japanese or English.  Having a character blurt out "Blaze of Glory no Jutsu!" sounds really dumb.

5. Cultural Naivety - Alot of the fics I read take many things for granted, namely, assuming that everything is exactly the same as they are in the writer's country of origin.  Because of this, you see alot of 'next gen' fics where the kids are named Roger, Billy and Samantha.  You also see alot of Western style weddings as well.  (Which make absolutely no sense in fics based on anime that take place in Japan's distant past)

6. "Humor" fics - Many people don't know what humor and parody actually is.  Having Sauske dress up in a pink tutu while singing "I Feel Pretty" when he normally wouldn't isn't funny.  It's just stupid.


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## Blue (Jan 23, 2005)

Pretty much their existance. I have yet to read one that seemed in any way like a plausable script for an actual Naruto feature.

If someone wants to disagree, I'd be happy to read something you think at least sounds canon.


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## Nyarlathotep (Jan 23, 2005)

Wait, KnK reads fanfiction too?

Meh, I have read fanfics that are plausible 'scripts' (btw, scripts aren't allowed in ff.net) for Naruto, but they're pretty rare indeed, I like to compare searching for good fanfiction to mining, it's the same thing, you have to dig through all the soil and trash and stuff to find the gold.

I don't even know what you mean by 'sounds canon', but from what I understood from your statement, these are the ones that 'sound most canon' : 

Link removed
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Link removed I'm not going to bother searching for the other books, just click on TokehGecko's name and search his other fanfics.
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As always, there's more, but I don't have time to spare, gotta prepare myself for tomorrow, I hate school and I hate the 1st day after coming back from vacations, I'm always sleepy and have a headache.

You can also visit TokehGecko's page from his profile (unless his page doesn't exist anymore, it's been a long time since I last checked it), there's many good fanfics there.

PS. I love Firefox, it rawcks my socks off and pwns IE at the same time.


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## TokehGecko (Jan 24, 2005)

Thanks, Nyarlathotep! I'm honoured you linked to my book!

Uhmm, I dislike short chapters! I don't dislike oneshots, however, as some of them are actually good! Alden-san's oneshots are good. But stories, multi-chapter stories, with less than 2000 words a chapter are annoying... Rarely, they are good, but I'm not reading those anymore anyway...

As almost everyone I hate OCs... and often, an OC becomes an SI too! I hate that even more! Hence, I also hate Mary Sues...

I dislike Yaoi, but I can stand Yuri... ErikKoekkoek's Altered Destiny. I'm too lazy to go fetch a link, though... 

I dislike those annoying High-school fics... There are just no right words to curse at them...

I hate stories where names or techniques all get mixed in... Naming Kakashi Sakura won't be nice... Naming Sasuke's Goukakyuu no Jutsu, the Housenka no Jutsu, isn't right...

I dislike 'sister-insert' stories... Sasuke doesn't have a sister, goddamnit! Neither does Kakashi! He's lost all of his precious persons already, so Rin's dead too! Unless Kakashi hates his sister's guts and doesn't consider her to be precious... Maybe then he has a sister. And Naruto has a sister? Oh come on, don't you think the Third would have done everything in his power to retrieve her or something? The Third was freaking strong, so he could've done anything!!

My two cents... Or more... I have a lot more whining to do, but time is difficult to find these days, that troublesome guy... 

G'bye! And thanks again, Nyarlathotep!


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## Sesshoumaru (Jan 24, 2005)

Nyarlathotep said:
			
		

> Wait, KnK reads fanfiction too?
> 
> Meh, I have read fanfics that are plausible 'scripts' (btw, scripts aren't allowed in ff.net) for Naruto, but they're pretty rare indeed, I like to compare searching for good fanfiction to mining, it's the same thing, you have to dig through all the soil and trash and stuff to find the gold.
> 
> ...



I read those stories. The Height of my Capacity is just a horrible alternate universe. Faith in Humanity, the author tried too hard and is more influenced by the readers than his own imagination. Set in Stone, that was alright for an Alternate Universe fic, but that is no where near being canon. Bloodlines was... interesting, but I wouldn't call it good either.

Pet peeves? I got a list for that.

1) I don't like characters that are highly over-powered without good enough reason. This is my general pet peeve that goes to other fanfiction besides Naruto. I don't like it when the main character owns everyone from the get go.

2) Yaoi/Yuri - If it's in your story, you should say so in the synopsis! I'm not fond of either of them. But I only will read yuri fanfiction of it's tasteful and well written.

3) I very much dislike stories with short chapters. If you have time to write a story with 100+ chapters, but only an average word count of 1000, then you have time to write 20 chapters with an average word count of 5000. There is such thing as a save option for word processors.

4) Author's notes and author's replying to reviews in their authors notes. I hate this. I hate it how author's have to take up a at least 2-3 pages of text space just to reply to reviewers and give explainations about actions or certain techniques. Why would you need to explain about a technique when you should of did that in the story?!!

5) I don't like people that just say "Update!" when they review your story. That's just retarded. Think of something to say, whether it's good or bad.

6) Pairings. A lot of fanfictions that are action/adventure based would be much better if the author's didn't have those. Leave pairings for drama and romantic stories, or during downtime within the story.

7) Extremely poor grammar and spelling. I know that not all spell-checkers can catch some spelling errors, especially if the word that is misspelled/typoed as a different word (ie - meat and meet). I'm guilty of this, but there are a few stories out there that are just horrible.

8) I dislike it when author's write a character in-character for an alternate universe story. If it's an alternate universe where the character's lifestyle is dramatically changed, why would the character have the same personality?

9) Jiraiya takes Naruto as a baby and comes back to take the Genin or Chuunin Exams, yet Naruto acts the same as the canon Naruto. This is just dumb and falls under #8, but so stupid that it needs it's own number.

10) High School fics. Junk.


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## StoneWalker (Jan 24, 2005)

-Yaoi

-Yuri

-Uchihacest

-Bad OC characters

-When the Naruto characters don't act IN character >_<

-Short chapters, no plot (as in: just the boring lives of the characters, or they fall in love, or something stupid. At LEAST put an interesting plot in the mix)


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## TokehGecko (Jan 24, 2005)

Hyuuga Ranma said:
			
		

> 2) Yaoi/Yuri - If it's in your story, you should say so in the synopsis! I'm not fond of either of them. But I only will read yuri fanfiction of it's tasteful and well written.



Man, how right you are with this one... I once read a fic, that had a pretty nice beginning... until Sasuke started flirting with Naruto... Nightmares galore!

Yuri... I mean, I can understand a Sakura/Ino, because, well... they have a certain history with each other...

Ok, now with the things I really dislike...

1. Great stories that don't get updated in ages... 'A Flowing Stone' anyone? SOC was rather pissed when he saw Naruto had lost against Sasuke in the manga and he stopped writing for a while, but he's back on ( Bloodlines). 

2. Great titles, bad summaries...  Especially the ones with 'Yaoi' in them...

3. Summaries with horrible grammar...

4. I only check the 'Just In' section at FFN and for that matter, only the 'new chapters' and 'English'... New stories I don't read, unless they have more than one chapter. Unless someone said to me that a oneshot was particulaly good...

5. Stories with nothing but dialogue... I wrote like this and I still do sometimes, but I never said I liked my own writing... But I dislike it when there's nothing but dialogue in a chapter/story!

6. Stories that have over 40 chapters... If I know the author, then sure... but usually, when I see something like this, I just skip it, don't bother with it... It'll take a large bite out of your time...

7. FFN's annoying errors... Chapter 5 updated... You pick chapter 5 and FFN says... 'Chapter does not exist...'

8. Author's Note as a Chapter!!! I freaking hate this more than anything! Well, no, I hate yaoi more...

9. Overused plots, or when an original plot in the first chapter, becomes a major clich? starting from the third chapter...

10. Fics where Sakura can actually kick Naruto's ass... I dislike this, because.. it's major OOC and, well... major unbelievable, to me, anyways...

11. Crossover fics... I dislike most of them... But I would want to see a BUffy/Naruto crossover once... Ok, to most of you that sounds stupid, I know... But I just wanted to see what Buffy/Angel/Spike/whoever in that show would do against Naruto or Sasuke?

12. Flames... I hate those... Writing is just something we like to do... You don't have to stomp us into the ground if you don't like a paragraph... or a dozen...

13. I dislike long Titles... even though I have a long one myself, still... Something like: Tale of Naruto:The Journeys to Stone and Back... I don't like that...

I used to reply to reviews too, until I saw what happened to one of Karrafear's stories... Perhaps SideLabel's too... (Of These Last Homes just vanished) But apparently, doing review replies isn't allowed either, just like the NC-17s (That still occur) and the MSTS. Man, btw, does anyone know where I can find Naruto MSTS Fanfics?


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## Nyarlathotep (Jan 24, 2005)

TokehGecko said:
			
		

> I used to reply to reviews too, until I saw what happened to one of Karrafear's stories... Perhaps SideLabel's too... (Of These Last Homes just vanished) But apparently, doing review replies isn't allowed either, just like the NC-17s (That still occur) and the MSTS. Man, btw, does anyone know where I can find Naruto MSTS Fanfics?


I don't know where to find Naruto MSTS fanfics, but I know 2 communities that do more or less that, ff_anbu and narutoppc.

I'm pretty sure there are more, but that's the only ones I've found.


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## Sesshoumaru (Jan 26, 2005)

TokehGecko said:
			
		

> I used to reply to reviews too, until I saw what happened to one of Karrafear's stories... Perhaps SideLabel's too... (Of These Last Homes just vanished) But apparently, doing review replies isn't allowed either, just like the NC-17s (That still occur) and the MSTS. Man, btw, does anyone know where I can find Naruto MSTS Fanfics?



So which one of Karrafear's stories were deleted by FF.net? I knew those Author's Notes and review replies were going to get that moron. Not to sound sexist, but I have noticed that the majority of those that use ample space at the end of their chapters to leave large author's notes and review replies are women. Specifically net-speaking fan-girls.

Note: Net Speak is not the same as L33T Speak.

TokehGecko: When I see stories with more than 15 chapters, I look at the word count. If the word count is less than 100k, then it's not worth my time unless the summary was eye catching.

I dislike stories that have an awesome summary/synopsis but is horrible when you read it.  That just sucks.


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## BountyxHunter (Jan 26, 2005)

Things I really dislike in fanfics:

-Self-inserts and Mary Sues. I hate when the author does this, I find it pointless and wrong.

- <Name> is a normal kid but is somehow sucked into the Naruto world stories. Does anyone really read these stories?

- Bad grammer and spellings. 'nuff said. 

- Yaoi/Yuri. Most Yaoi/Yuri are not thought out and writeen by people that just want to see people of the same sex have sex. There are a few good Yaoi NAruto stories and two or so good Yuri Stories on FF.Net

-Author Makes Naruto a girl just so that they can pair him with Sasuke or Neji. I really hate this it would have been better ifthe author had written a Yaoi story. 

- OC/ a Main character, they are normally Self-inserts and Mary Sues.

- When an author mixes m/f with m/m. So morron on AFF.net wrote a yoai story but put m/f, I readd it think it was a het story and was shooked to see Naruto kissing Neji.

-Naruto's brother fics-an example of this would be from out of the blue Naruto's older brother returns. He either has a demon sealed within him or he's as strong or stronger then a Sannin. He has enough skill to take on an member of Akatsuki. Out of the bule he shows up in Naruto's life and the two get a long very well.  Even those the story is about Naruto and his brother, Naruto will only be at the start or the end of the chapters.  Oh yes Naruto is paired with a random girl (Ino or Tenten). I just hate these stories

-Naruto's sister fic -an example of this would be from out of the blue Naruto's older sister returns. She is twice as hot as any woman in the village and all male chacacter fall in love with her. She takes Naruto to live with her. The whole story will be focused around her and she will be apired with a jounnin for the leaf village or Itachi. I hate these as much as Naruto brother fic.

Author notes as chapters- a waste of space and time

A chapter made just so the author can answer some quesstions-  a waste of space and time

- An author as for help with the pairings it's gonig to be Naruto with a female, help me pick one. Then 5 Yaoi fangirls say "Make it Naruto/Sasuke"

- I just can't stand when an athour has their pairing already set up, most people know what the main pairing is, then people say "You have to make it Naruto/Hinata. ( I'm starting to hate this pairing)"

- A Naruto/Hinata with a crappy plot, Which are in fact most of them. 

-When a good pairing is rushed. 
'
I'll add more when I come up with them.


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## TokehGecko (Jan 26, 2005)

Hyuuga Ranma said:
			
		

> So which one of Karrafear's stories were deleted by FF.net? I knew those Author's Notes and review replies were going to get that moron. Not to sound sexist, but I have noticed that the majority of those that use ample space at the end of their chapters to leave large author's notes and review replies are women. Specifically net-speaking fan-girls.



I don't remember which one got deleted, but she's actually a nice girl... Yeah, she's female  With net-speaking, you mean something like MSN, ICQ, AOL or Forums?



			
				Hyuuga Ranma said:
			
		

> TokehGecko: When I see stories with more than 15 chapters, I look at the word count. If the word count is less than 100k, then it's not worth my time unless the summary was eye catching.



Hmmm... Man, My third book has 15 chaps and only 83k words... I guess I fall under that category as well...



			
				Hyuuga Ranma said:
			
		

> I dislike stories that have an awesome summary/synopsis but is horrible when you read it.  That just sucks.



Yeah, why does it never occur that a very sucky summary has a great story?


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## Kopykat Kakashi (Jan 27, 2005)

I hate Kak-Iruka yaoi especially with Kak acting as a rapist. all those "writers" should be strung up and stabbed with katanas for 72 hours!

I hate it when I get added to someone's fav list but they didn't leave a review for any of my stories, so I don't know what they read. 

I don't mind OCs, they can be done well and even be a good main char (like mine!) but there should be no more than a handful in a story. Too many to track and I lose interest immediately.


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## Sesshoumaru (Jan 28, 2005)

Kopykat Kakashi said:
			
		

> I hate Kak-Iruka yaoi especially with Kak acting as a rapist. all those "writers" should be strung up and stabbed with katanas for 72 hours!
> 
> I hate it when I get added to someone's fav list but they didn't leave a review for any of my stories, so I don't know what they read.
> 
> I don't mind OCs, they can be done well and even be a good main char (like mine!) but there should be no more than a handful in a story. Too many to track and I lose interest immediately.



Yeah! I got like 70 people whom I am on their favorite list and 107 people who have me on author alert. Only a handful actually write reviews, and that's a small hand.


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## Morgan inactive (Jan 30, 2005)

hehe. I've been reading and writing fanfics for a looong time. Everyone has thier pet peeves, but I think that OOCness is the worst. Most of the time it is due to poor writing skills or misunderstanding of the canon. If they are all IC, I'm pretty much ok with any story. (Including mary sues and alternate universe--the reason most people hate those is  because they get all the characters all messed up in the process of inserting a new character or making a whole new setting.)


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## velvethunter (Jan 31, 2005)

I've read some fanfics, and what i really hate are the stories that are just "listed" like... Sasuke got punched in the face, he fell down... it sounds like they're trying to explain naruto to a baby - or your grandma.


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## The Scorpion (Feb 5, 2005)

when a male (most of the time it's Iruka) gets pregnant


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## Fairady (Feb 7, 2005)

So many peeves, so little time...

1. FF.net and AFF.net. Anyone and their cousin's dog can post on it. I spend an average of two hours wading through crap before I find something I like.

2. Mpreg fics. Unless it's canon that it can actually happen I think it should just be left the hell alone. There isn't anything funny or romantic about it.

3. Massive crossovers. Too many characters to keep track of, most of whom I probably have no idea who they are. Very few authors can handle multiple crossovers well.

4. Het. Just a personal thing. If the female they're kissing/messing with isn't me, I don't want to read it.   

5. Fics that cater to the author's obvious favorite character. Everything the character ever wanted is given to them and nothing bad will ever happen. I can stand it in short well done doses but 20+ chapters is a bit much.

6. Kindergarden humor. Granted not everyone shares the same sense of humor, but the pull-my-finger and poo jokes are lame.

7. The 'whens teh next chap coming!!!!!' reviews for something meant to be a one shot.

8. The train wrecks, so horrible you can't look away. The writing isn't quite that good, but the idea is awesome so you over look it and read. It quickly turns into 40+ chapters of the best bi-polar, soap opera you could ever hope to find. You spend hours reading the thing hating it but unable to stop. When you've finally reached the end it has 'tbc' at the bottom.

9. Fics where one character gets raped by another but forgives it because it's 'love.' The only time you'll find anything like this in real life is in an extremely abusive relationship where the victim's view of the world has been destroyed by the abuser.

10. Fics where a character has been raped and can't function again until their one true love has sex with them. Usually a few days after being raped. *bangs head* Pretty much just all rape fics.

11. Fics where the author admits to not taking the two seconds to run their fics through a spell-checker. 

12. Using emoticons in the fic itself. -_-''''


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## Red Viking (Feb 8, 2005)

Fairady said:
			
		

> 12. Using emoticons in the fic itself. -_-''''



On that note, I would also like to mention that putting Author's Notes right in the middle of the story annoys the Hell out of me.  If you absolutely have to, use a damn asterisk or something for reference and put everything at the end of the chapter.


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## Dynus (Feb 28, 2005)

Author notes in the middle of the story. It jars the the flow of the story.

What I call the 'teetertoter' mood swings. I hate them. Normal people do not go from happy to angry back to happy and then back to angry again in a space of a few minutes. It works in comedy; no where else. 

Poorly written het/yaoi/yuri. Het is more annoying when it's poorly done for some reason. And I have the worse luck when it comes to finding good het fics. (If anyone could suggest a few please do so)

Cliche pairings. The unfortunate thing about this is that some of my favorite stories are the cilche pairings. I'm getting really sick of reading SasuNaru.

Poorly done crack pairings. I have read some really good ones, the rest are horrible. You have to make it believeable, and for that you need a plot.

using the same words over and over. I'm guilty of this, but I try to not vary the language a little when I write.

Malapropisms. 

Anything without plot. 

Disgustingly discriptive lemons. You know the type that go 'omg he was like 7 inchs!' those are stupid and immature. There are other ways to get the point across. Continuing with that mind set when the guy is redicululsy large. I don't want to know every little detail of a person's body.

pedo fics. The though of twelve year olds doing that stuff makes me want to puke. I can handle 16 year olds, but anything younger is just . . . ew.


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## enkie (Mar 3, 2005)

I agree with the above posts, I hate wading through a ton of stories to get to one or two good ones.

Some things that annoy me:

1.  Story is written with grammar and spelling that reads like a high school girl talking to her friends.

2.  Really really short chapters; unless they are short stories.

3.  Out of character

That's pretty much it.  I try not to be critical because after all, it's just a bunch of fans sharing our love for Naruto stories, right?


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## RANinjaChick (Mar 15, 2005)

1. People who interuppt the middle of the story to add something stupid. This one time I was reading a story and the author was like "OMG! I FORGOT TO DO MY HOMEWORK!" Do you really have to put that?

2. Bad grammer and spelling, mine's bad, I know it is, but I try my best to fix it. A few mistakes are okay once in awhile, but if it's so bad that the sentence doesn't make sense, I think "Okay, what are you trying to say?"

3. The same jokes over and over... we all heard about Kiba pissing his pants in chapter 3, we don't want to hear him pissing it again in chapter 6.

4. People who barely know the story, but try to write anyways. Example: "Sasuke and the one guy... Oops! Heehee, I forgot his name! (Insert stupid giggly laugh here) But his hair is yellow and spiky, he's the main character but I don't know who he is!"

5. People who think characters are stupid but make them even more stupid. Example: The author thinks Hinata's stupid so they make her totally OOC. "EW! GET AWAY FROM ME SAKURA! YOU'RE SUCH A BIT**!" I hate this. Sasuke gets on my nerves but when an author makes him pretty good, yet not OOC, I like the story and even Sasuke more. When the Author makes them more annoying, they just hate the character more and the readers hate the author more.

6. Short chapters. They're okay, but only when the author updates quickly. If you write a 4 paragraph story but don't update until the next two weeks.

7. Quick Romance. I understand if it's a one shot, but if Naruto marries so and so in the first two chapters, there's no point in reading the story.

8. Naruto's Kid Fic. The only GOOD fic I read where Naruto had a child was... well... never. They make it boring, and it's the same process, Naruto has a child, the child goes to school, the child passes genin test, the child just happens to be on the same team as Sakura's kid and Sasuke's kid. The child goes to chuunin exams, the author gets no reviews and removes or never updates the story.

9. Flamers who keep reading. I was reading a fic and the Author was answering a flame and the flamer decided they hated the chapter in chap. 25 but reviews in chap. 27.

10. The characters look different. Example: "Sakura's light brown hair blew behind her." Since when does Sakura have brown hair?

11. When reviewers tell the author to update when it's a one-shot or when they ask if they could update faster when they update everyday.

That's basically all I can think of right now.


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## Fairady (Mar 16, 2005)

There is one particular brand of OOC that I absolutely hate seeing, the female guys. The fics where you can change Naruto's name to Becky and it would make perfect sense. Because the author bases all of the guys' reactions and behaviors on their own without giving a single thought about their gender. It's especially bad in yaoi fics. Granted, just about everyone does this, but most people can tone it down.


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## daeyeth (Mar 16, 2005)

i pretty much agree with everyone, especially the yaoi/yuri one. when i first checked out the naruto fanfic community, i was incredibly disappointed at the lack of non-yaoi fiction.

one thing i didn't see mentioned (or i missed it) was where authors use the excuse (in response to reviews) "the story/characters write themselves, i have no control over it". while this can be true to an extent, in many cases they were just using it an excuse or make it seem as if even they themselves don't want to keep writting the pairing but do anyways. if you didn't want to make it that pairing, then just tell them that! you're the author, its YOUR story. and if you don't like something in your story, then change it! its your universe.

and about the anbu comment where they're always killed as canon fodder...well, that's what they are  in the series, you never see them really do anything except get killed (kabuto kills 3 without breaking a sweat). it's usually the jounins that ever do anything useful


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## Neon (Mar 16, 2005)

You read through a long story just to find out the last chapter isn't their and the author gave up on the fic!  Has happened to me multiple times!


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## Orihime (Mar 17, 2005)

I don't like when authors bash some character or pretty much describe character in a horribly ooc way just to make it look like he/she is dumb, ditzy, worthless, etc cause said character gets in the way of certain pairings. :B

And yah, mary sues, bad grammar + spelling, HORRIBLE LEMONS (linked to my friend's let's mock lemons comm) and uhm... o_o I guess that's it. 



			
				Kiri no Kunoichi said:
			
		

> Pretty much their existance. I have yet to read one that seemed in any way like a plausable script for an actual Naruto feature.
> 
> If someone wants to disagree, I'd be happy to read something you think at least sounds canon.


Well, I'd suggest the stuff I placed on the Fanfic referrals thread, but I really don't know your tastes or if you have even read those already.


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## Wrath (Mar 17, 2005)

I have a "favourite" pet peeve. It';s a very specific one.

I hate it when writers start off with a note about how much they love the series/a specific character....and then go on and completely change it.

There's one I can remember vaguely that was particularly messed up. It started with the writer saying how they were in love with Naruto.

And then turned him into a completely heartless killer whose entire existence was a lie.  With the explanation "I prefer him this way!"

So we have two statements:

a) The writer loves the character of Naruto
b) The writer wants Naruto to be a bloodthirsty killer, going against every aspect of his canon personality.

*robot brain explodes*


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## Dead on Arrival (Mar 18, 2005)

Besides the incident with Kabuto in Sasuke's hospital room, when else have we see Konoha ANBU killed?  Hell, in the entire series we have seen the ANBU only a couple of times anyway.  That scene was meant to show us that Kabuto was no mere Genin, and it did it very effectively.  I think this whole 'ANBU are cannon fodder' mindset that some people have is just plain silly...

As to the OP, my biggest peeve is characters that are OOC without any reason given whatsoever.  I don't care if you write characters differently, but only if you give a valid reason beforehand...preferably in the story itself.  A handwave-like note at the beginning of your fic doesn't cut it...


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## Fairady (Jun 30, 2005)

Ok, I've noticed a disturbing new trend in fics lately. I call it the Magic Jutsu problem. I'm seeing more and more authors adding 'no Jutsu' to the end of random words for 'magikal effects!' No chakra or hand seals are needed for this magic. Simply say what you want to do and add 'no Jutsu' to make it happen. 

For example; Levitation no Jutsu, Spy no Jutsu, Drying no Jutsu, Jump no Jutsu, Flying no Jutsu, Pull This Fic Outta My Ass no Jutsu. Those're just a few of the ones I've seen.

It's rather depressing to see that all the Harry Potter crossovers have created a rift that is slowly pulling the two fandoms together. I'm almost afraid to look at the HP fics and find Harry and Draco throwing Rasengans and Chidoris at eachother.

P.S-Don't tell me that last has happened. I don't want to know.


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## Miss CCV (Jun 30, 2005)

The Scorpion said:
			
		

> when a male (most of the time it's Iruka) gets pregnant



*GAG* OMG good thing I don't read those kind of fanfics...


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## Aternox (Jun 30, 2005)

I think I agree pretty much with everyone here. We all agree on the OOC, unbelievable coupling, male character turning suddenly gay when he is HET in the serie ( God, please, someone stop Hayate/Genma writers. Hayate had a friggin' GRILFRIEND...), Yaoi in general ( 99% of the Yaoi fics are just a sad excuse for smut), authors notes in the middle of the fic, self insertion, fangirls squealing, Mary-Sue, and so on.

I must add, for myself : I can't stand stories without any character introspection. Characters go on, killing, beating the crap out of everyone, and never, ever the author stops to go into sme chara-delving. That's _MY_ pet peeve.

Bad grammar/ Bad presentation kills me too. English is not my first, not even my second language, I'm sure you can see it by the way I'm writing here. But for my fics, I'm being helped by a beta. I waited 4 months to have a good, a perfect one. Honestly, it was worth the wait, because now I can post my first chapter knowing that there won't be ANY errors. 

I'm a perfectionnist, and I've got problems with people who are just pulling stuff out of their arses, and wait for readers to cope with crappy grammar. 

Flames. If you've got a problem with a fic, just go away and read some Naru/Sasu/Konohamaru smut, if it's what you want to read. Good authors won't change their way of writing for you..


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## Dark_wolf247 (Jun 30, 2005)

my oet peeve...stories with no plots...and Yaoi period...


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## HellFire_UK (Jul 2, 2005)

Like most of you said above but I have another one,it is when fanfics have Sasuke returning to Konoha like nothing happened, instantly he's in a relationship with Sakura and Naruto is his best friend again, If Sasuke was brought back to Konoha he would have a long way to go to get people to trust him again.


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## Fairady (Jul 8, 2005)

Fics that read like a summary instead of a story. 

I never thought I'd have to say this before, but sadly I find that I do. If you don't know anything about a fandom you shouldn't be writing it. I've had the misfortune of finding an author who has only seen two characters from a Silent Hill game and is writing fic now. No research except what some deluded reader is telling her. :toliet Wrong fandom, but I know it's happened in the Naruto fandom too.

I want a head bang smiley. I need it.


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## Kiba-kun (Jul 8, 2005)

Yaoi whiners. There's nothing worse than otherwise intelligent people turning out to be bastards.


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## [I am teh Haruka] (Jul 8, 2005)

1. Itachi x Sasuke... I'm just thinking what the HELL? o_o
2. OOC, makes the fic seem weird...
3. No paragraphs or one HUGE paragraph. It hurts the eyes.


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## Lackey_H (Jul 15, 2005)

Hmm... so many good, scathing comments already XD I just have to get in on this.

My number one pet peeve, of all time, has got to be...

Summaries.
Especially on ff.net / mediaminer, which require them almost.

I DO NOT want to have the entire goddamn plot revealed to me in a summary! I do NOT like seeing the list of pairings in a fic - i want to find them out myself. Especially, though, I DESPISE when people ask stupid, retarded plot questions in their summaries.

*Examples of bad summaries* (yes, these are real ones with names XXXed out) :
"XXX met XXX in wherever, What will happen between them?"
Well, I'm guessing that by the fourth paragraph both characters will be eagerly attempting to discover how far down each other's throats (or, if it's a lemon, whatever applicable body parts) their tongues can reach.

"XXX is shunned by the world, will he find heaven?"
Yes. And he shall do so by buttfucking, of being buttfucked by, whichever other male the author, as the poor mentally retarded Yaoi fangirl that she obviously is, happens to like.

"I'm bad at summaries..."
You're allso a piss-poor writer too. Get the hell away from the world of fiction - if you can't summarise your story properly, then you don't deserve to post your so-called 'work' where it will only get in my way and waste my time as I try to find something good to read.

*Examples of GOOD summaries* (These may or may not be good fics, but their summaries are good ones):

"Lee's thoughts on his life as a ninja." ()
Short and to the point. It tells us who it's about and tells us the general theme of the writing. It doesn't reveal any major plot points (not that there are any in a fic this short, but anyay) nor does it tell us what Lee's thoughts are - leaving us to read the fic to find out.

(and now tooting my own horn XD feel free to kick me for this later, but i really couldn't find any other good summaries on short notice)
"A Tenten-centric fic which hopes to mix elements of Jojo's Bizzare adventure with Naruto. Knowledge of Jojo shouldn't be necessary at all."  ()
Firstly, this summary tells us the fic is mostly going to focus on Tenten. Secondly it's telling us that it will also be a fusion/crossover style fic - in this case with JoJo. Since it says 'elements of' Jojo, it obviously means we won't be seeing Jojo characters themselves - thank god, 'cuz I HATE crossover-cameos like that >.>;; Those who know Jojo, obviously, can probably guess how this will be acheived but, fortunately, we're also informed that you don't have to know JoJo in order to enjoy the fic. As, presumably, the JoJo-y things will take their time and be explained bit by bit as part of the fic itself.


So~ there you go. Summaries, a good summary is the best way to get me to look at a fic, a bad summary is the best way to make me ignore it entrely. XD Unless, of course, i've got reccomendations from elsewhere...


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## TheAnti (Jul 15, 2005)

I HATE THEM DARN YAOI FICS!

I have to scroll so much to get around them. There should be a yaoi/non-yaoi distinction that u can choose.


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## Wrath (Jul 16, 2005)

TheAnti said:
			
		

> I HATE THEM DARN YAOI FICS!
> 
> I have to scroll so much to get around them. There should be a yaoi/non-yaoi distinction that u can choose.


 That's not a bad idea, really. There are filters for pairings on some sections, it wouldn't be too hard for that to be implemented.


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## foofan_22 (Jul 18, 2005)

10chars....


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## Cornuthaum (Jul 22, 2005)

1.) Highschool Naruto fiction. To the authors that write that, please repeatedly stab yourself in the face until you stop moving. Thanks. If you can't do it yourself, find someone who will stab you. Thanks.

2.) 'cest fics - My plea to those authors is the same as above. Non-canon 'cest-fics are amongst the worst there is, both in gruesome OOCness and stupidity.

3.) Badly written yaoifics. I'm no rabid yaoi-hater, I just hate 95 out of 100 yaoifics because of the "Buttsex without plot"-factor AND the "me cnat sepll"-factor - there are some nice yaoifics out there, but pitifully few. One of the "better" ones (I dislik yaoi if it's not canon, but tastefully written fics are good, anyways) is "Picture Day" by agent spielplatz

4.) Fics that show an obvious disinterest/amount of misinformation concerning the Naruto series. It's part of the authors responsibility to gather as much information as necessary on the world of Naruto before one starts to write - so if one writes a time-travel fic, one has to re-read the first few volumes of the manga, lest he/she commits grieveous continuity errors. Also helpful is the country map showing which country borders on which - if you want ninja wars, don't make the hidden Sand and the Hidden Cloud fight - they're seperated by almost all countries save the Water country.


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## Lackey_H (Jul 22, 2005)

Cornuthaum said:
			
		

> 4.) Fics that show an obvious disinterest/amount of misinformation concerning the Naruto series. It's part of the authors responsibility to gather as much information as necessary on the world of Naruto before one starts to write - so if one writes a time-travel fic, one has to re-read the first few volumes of the manga, lest he/she commits grieveous continuity errors. Also helpful is the country map showing which country borders on which - if you want ninja wars, don't make the hidden Sand and the Hidden Cloud fight - they're seperated by almost all countries save the Water country.



I think that map is wrong XD

Try this one - this


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## Cornuthaum (Jul 22, 2005)

I'm not so sure - the map on wikipedia is the one Sakura pulls out in the early manga when she explains the countries to naruto ^^"

Still, sand and cloud are on the other sides of the world 

edit 2 - and the map is almost the same, and international borders are known to shift in times of war - the map on wikipedia just ignores things such as tea country (and whoever came up with that deserves the Thousand Years of Pain Revised - Pineapple Version)


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## Chibi Chan (Jul 22, 2005)

Hrm... I suppose it would be...

1) OOCness.... I hate that. 
2) Random Japanese words I don't know... I mean I don't mind a few that are pretty common, especially if that character uses it a lot in the show. Like Anosa, Anosa that Naruto enjoys saying.
3) Yaoi/Yuri... well just not into it. There are probably some I can stand but not a lot.
4)Grammar mistakes.... *shudder*

That's about it... except for making main characters antagonists and such but I don't mind that a lot since I hardly run into them.


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## Hitomi_No_Ryu (Jul 28, 2005)

I'm adding another thing to my list of pet peeves:

5. When the author does not accept anonymous reviews!! WHY NOT?! All we want to do is tell how we think of your fic. It's not like our praising/flaming will affect you any differently then if it was written on a signed review!! Plus, why does it seem it's the crappy, moronic fics that don't accept anonymous reviews? There's too much of a correlation.


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## Lackey_H (Jul 28, 2005)

'cuz half the reviews on the crappy, moronic, fics are probably the author themselves reviewing anonymously since they're under some strange, retarded, impression that more reviews = better fic.

I'm gonna have to add plotholes.

No, that's not right. Plotholes are an error usually caused by mistake that goes un-noticed until the chapter is out and then hard to cover up without some major edits.

What i don't like are more like... Plot... chasms. Or canyons. We're talking something that is to plotholes what the grand canyon is to a dent in the ground.

Case in point: There was this fic, which i shall not name (though i'm sure you'll probably guess which one anyway) .

This fic gave one character, who i shall refer to as 'Character X', the ability to see through Genjutsu. As in Genjutsu could not fool her (Which, on a side point, was bloody stupid since that's the frikkin' Sharingan's schtick anyway). Now, at one point, she's faced with someone she knows, who went missing and is hiding under a genjutsu. Character X doesn't recognise her.

Anyone see the problem here?
Just to be sure, i'll spell it out.

1) Character X cannot be fooled by Genjutsu. The fic repeatedly states this.

2) Character X couldn't see through a basic illusion for 'plot' reason.

... PLOT CHASM!

Yeah... ... ranting over for now.


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## Wrath (Jul 29, 2005)

Hitomi_No_Ryu said:
			
		

> I'm adding another thing to my list of pet peeves:
> 
> 5. When the author does not accept anonymous reviews!! WHY NOT?! All we want to do is tell how we think of your fic. It's not like our praising/flaming will affect you any differently then if it was written on a signed review!! Plus, why does it seem it's the crappy, moronic fics that don't accept anonymous reviews? There's too much of a correlation.


Actually I think you have to turn on the option to allow anonymous reviews, rather than turning it off. I remember I didn't even realise I didn't accept them until a reviewer told me.


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## crystal-kay (Aug 7, 2005)

1. Spelling: I come across so many spelling errors that it makes me want to rip my hair out of my head. Words like 'sight' and 'site' sound the same but they don't mean the same. If your computer has no spellcheck, get a dictionary. You know, that nifty little book on your desk there?

2. Mary-Sues, Self-Inserts or OCs: Fanfiction, people. It means you write about the characters, not about yourself in the story or their long-lost-suddenly-turned-up sister or brother! Mary-Sues are the worse and yet, the author denies that it's a Mary-Sue all the time. One of my favourite OCs-insert is an Inuyasha fic on FF.Net by InuOtaku. She was able to blend the OCs flawlessly into the storyline and it felt like they were a part of the Inuyasha characters all along.

3. The Why Can't It be So-So pairing?!: I hate it when they put that in their reviews. Not everyone wants to write your fave pairings. Everyone has their own favourite and it's up to the author to write about those pairings. If you don't like it, tough but don't whine about it in the review because the fic is already done. 

4. Lack of Plotlines: Unless it's a PWP? fic, I'd rather not read it. I hate if the story is written with no plot whatsoever just because the author wants to jump into the fanfic writing bandwagon with everyone else.

5. High School Fics: God, I seem to come across this in every page in Naruto. I don't get it and I don't care much for it. It's just totally overdone.


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## Marysmary (Aug 13, 2005)

1. Outside Characters- Some are okay..but 99.9 % of the time, they're just there so they can either kick all the character's ass or have the chracters fall in love.
2. Flames- Someone actually took time to write something..if you have time to flame, you have time to help them with errors you see.
3. Uchihacest- Itachi doesn't think of Sasuke like that. period.
4. Naruto/Sasuke, Iruka/Kakashi- They aren't gay!
5. Authors who don't update for a long time and don't give a reason.
6. Stories where the whole thing is one big paragraph.
7. Stories that make Naruto super strong..


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## G. Hawke (Aug 14, 2005)

*Hmm....*

1. High School fics.  
2. Yaoi and Yuri. The very idea of putting 2 very much het characters together just to satisfy ur own perverse craving is disturbing. 
3. OCC'ness. U write a fic about an existing character but all of a sudden he goes on a 360 degree personality change. What's up with that!  
4. Self-insertation. Why oh why? :S 
5. Crossovers. It is never ever really pulled off so why bother. All it ever does is annoy the reader.  

That's all i think of for now but more will most probably come to me later on.


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## Kagenin (Aug 15, 2005)

For FFN


Fics that dont make sense at all like: Naruto:Blah Blah Blah
Sasuke: Shut up Dobe 
Sakura: Blah Blah Blah 
That kinda fic just drives me up the wall
 Yaoi NO just no i dont get it. Why the hell would people want to put two obviously non gay characters together is beyond me.
THERE IS A REASON WHY SPELL CHECK IS IN WORD USE IT!
 For gods sake get a beta reader some fics i've read you would think its a Star Wars fanfic because all the characters talk like YODA!!
 Newbs nuff said
 i just relized this why the hell would four shinobis(usually Neji,Kiba,Sasuke,Naruto) that get plopped down into the Harry Potter world or go to Hogwarts some way just say "Screw being a shinobi IM going to learn magic and just pretty much throwaway thier training... its just WRONG!


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## IQSymphic (Aug 22, 2005)

I've read my shares and written them as well...I've gotta say...

1) Character OOC without the mention of it. It seriously drives me insane to suddenly see a character like Sasuke suddenly become friendly and/or a sex crazed maniac (WTF?)

2) Yaoi/Yuri, I mean wtf people you might have your kinks for gay relationships and what not but please...keep it to yourself. I do NOT want to read a story just to find Naruto and Sasuke about to kiss...

3) Insert self, enough said

4) Usually grammar/spelling that isn't TOO bad is okay...IF there native language isn't english. But then if it is then WHY would you bother writing a fanfic in the first place? Sheesh...if you so badly want to though then get a friggin beta reader

5) Short Chapters with only 200 words range that go like "i r l33t pwnz lols?" (well that's an exaggeration really but still...)

6) People who beg for reviews in every single chapter. I mean sure if you've got a steady chapter/update going and you only have like what...10? 11 reviews then asking for them is fine. Begging (even on your reviews) is just plain out pathetic and will probably result in the opposite.

7) OLD CLICHE'D AND OVERUSED PLOTS. Get OUT of the site, your taking up bandwidth...there are plenty of other stories out there with your type of plot already. What makes your so different/special? Think for a while, be original, USE YOUR MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8) Songfics/poem fics...I just don't even want to bother

Probably a bit more but I don't really feel like posting it since those are probably my main ones


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## Ruri (Aug 24, 2005)

1.  Uchihacest fics - they're just plain gross.
2.  High School setting - it's simply not part of the Naruto world (especially when you find Sasuke driving a sports car, and yet he's still a shinobi).
3.  When random people are dropped into the Naruto world.
4.  When the sand siblings decide to relocate to Konoha - why?

Those are the major ones, I think.


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## The Space Cowboy (Aug 25, 2005)

1.  I'd have to agree with the "High School setting peeve" Ruri mentioned.  Why on earth would you want to write fanfiction, yet wholly divorce the fiction from the canon?  Seems someone just needs a place to relate characters to their immediate setting.  Plus, Highschool is an old, worn, and overused setting. 

2.  Poorly thought out crossovers.  No--it doesn't work if you have Sasuke become a Pokemon master or go to Hogwarts or drop into the lap of a hormonal preteen girl.  In fact, I recommend going in for psychiatric counseling if you so much as dare cross Naruto with Harry Potter.  

3.  Self/Avatar insertion (An avatar is like yourself, but in idealized form).

4.  Excessive focus on Konoha.  Geez folks, Konoha's Finest are well-developed characters.  Why not focus on some of the less-developed areas of the Narutoverse, such as Zabuza's Village? (I recommend )

5.  Poorly thought out Jutsu.


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## Beat Master Amy (Sep 27, 2005)

1. Yaoi Naru/Sasu Fics where Sasuke is chasing after Naruto like a little love sick puppy. Yeah like Sasuke would do that. Also vice-versa.

2. Saku/Sasu Fics. Like that would ever happen.

One of the best FanFics Ive ever read on FanFiction.net was one called And The Beat Goes On. It may be set in a highschool but i found the Itachi/Orochimaru relationship in that really good.


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## Voynich (Sep 27, 2005)

Self-inserts and OCs ...God I hate those..really. Usually cause they end up being Mary-Sues and in rare cases Gary Stus 99% of the time ...and both are horrible. But fun for snarking...


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## Vegeta (Sep 27, 2005)

1) Yaoi/Yuri fics, most are not plausible and are poorly written.
2) People who review crap I wrote and liked it. (Took me so long to get someone who was honest reviewing)
3) People flaming someones writing because they don't like the Pairing. (It's okay if its poorly written, but I have seen some people get flames on well written, well structured fics, because a certain person doesn't like the pairing.


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## Kim_Go! (Sep 28, 2005)

Plenty of pet peeves here from me(not in any particular order, I hate them equally.:. I couldn't pick 5 so i chose 6.

1. Yaoi/yuri: I terribly hate this so. If it has yaoi/yuri, I'm not reading it. I do not find two gay men nor two lesbian women having sex attractive at all.

2. Disclaimers: I find these absolutely pointless. Especially the ones with "I don't own Naruto but I wish Sasuke was my hubby....or wishing a character is theirs to hold, love, and cuddle even though its a fictional character. Its not like Kishimoto is gonna rain down his wrath on them just because they're writing a fic about his manga.

3. As someone said before, Extremely exaggerated Personalities: Sakura isn't a total bitch-whore merely based upon the fact she broke up her friendship for a guy she liked. Hell, in my school, these girls broke up their middle school friendship for a really, really stupid reason. (One girl got jealous of the other girl or something like that) Or where Sasuke is a total human ice block void of ANY emotion.

4.American names , places or out -of-the-blue country names: Naruto is a japanese manga. He is japanese and so is everybody else. The whole Naruto society is japanese. If and when Naruto or the rest of the gang has kids they're gonna name their kids a japanes name, not anything like 'Bob' or 'Sally'. There is no 'Super flaming jutsu of wrath no jutsu or a place called the hidden rainbow village.(and who would want to live in a village called such a pansy name?)

5. When writer's say their summary 'sux': A summary is just to sum up your fic into a couple of sentences. I like mine straight to the point. Saying, 'omg, summary sux' will not woo me to read your fic.

6. Lastly, those goddamn rape fics: I especially detest these. Those women who get raped don't recover in a matter of days and then love they Rapers with all their heart. Its totally unrealistic and its bullcrap.

These are basically all the peeves I detest


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## TheVileOne (Sep 28, 2005)

Mine are:

1.  Writers who will start a good enough fic that I get into then hardly ever update them.  I can understand a couple weeks or something, but then months on end.  Yeesh. 

2.  Yaoi/Yuri pairings.


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## dark_nemesis_7 (Oct 10, 2005)

Lessee, I know that I am probably an offender to a lot of the posters here's peeves, but hey, I write what I want to read. What I don't like is:

-When people hop on a pairing bandwagon. I mean, come on, people, exercise your creativity a little here. Throw away your carbon-copy NaruSasu fanfiction, draw two names out of a bucket and write a fanfiction about those two characters. We see tons of NaruHina, TemaShika, NaruSaku, NaruSasu and SasuSaku, but how many TemaSaku fics do we see? If I can make NaruSakon work, you can make TemaSaku work.

-Fics where Neji just wants to be held, or Naruto or Gaara or even Shikamaru just wants to be held. These are ninjas. Neji is a psychopath. They don't want to be held, by a girl or a boy.

-KakaIru. Yes, I know that some people can't get enough of a lonely man and an obvious Uke rasping each other until the sun blows up, but come on.

-MARY SUES MARY SUES MARY SUES!!! And Gary Stus, too! WE DON'T CARE THAT YOU THINK THERE MIGHT BE A FEMALE UCHIHA LEFT. GO BACK TO HARRY POTTER FANFICTION IF THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO.

-Cliche plot twists. "Tenten wanted Neji, but she has moved on and gotten a boyfriend just as Neji realizes that he wants Tenten back blah blah blah...."

-Summaries that don't say what the pairing is. Sure, it takes away froom the element of surprise, but I don't want to be surprised. I want to read a fiction with a pairing that I like, not be surprised by the obviously KakaIru and SasuNaru-ness of it all.

-People who type in chatspeak or use LOL in their stories.

-People who don't spellcheck. Everyone makes mistakes and I can forgive a few, but if it's chronic then you shouldn't be typing at all. There is no excuse for illiteracy if you want to write in the language.

-People who include sentences or snatches of Japanese in their stories. Give it up, people. We know that you can't speak the language fluently, or you wouldn't be writing in English, now would you? We know that the characters are saying in Japanese what you say in English, so don't make it look like in the middle of their Japanese they burst out in English, "I love you!" where you put in Japanese, "Aishiteru!" The only thing that this doesn't apply to is honorifics and technique names if you translate the latter.

-I will repeat again: MARY SUES!!!

That's all I can think of for now.


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## Mikah (Oct 11, 2005)

*Bad summaries:*

*1) Poor grammar & spelling* -  If I see errors from the very beginning in the summary, I won’t even bother.

*2)Summary sounds/says it is boring* – If the summary is boring, why should the fic be different?

*3)OC* - Too many Mary-Sues; I find myself more willing to give a OC fic a chance if the canon characters are still the main feature of the summary.

*4) "I suck at summaries"* -  If the author can't write a basic summary of their story, how well do you think the story is going to be written?  When you're limited as to the length of your summary, why waste precious words in order to tell your reader that you don't think your own story is up to par? Use those words to tell me why I should want to read your story.

*5)Chat speak*


*Unworkable ideas that are used over and over again:*

*1)99% of OC/canon stories, and 99% of slash fics.* The vast majority of the former are simply wishfulfillment fantasies, and the vast majority of the latter pair two guys simply because the author thinks they look SO HAWT together.

*2)High School fics* - Who's more interesting - Naruto, a boy with demon sealed inside him, living in a hidden ninja village and fighting secret organizations trying to take over the world, or Naruto - highschool jock/prankster?

*3)Mpreg*, ridiculous plot idea unless you're writing about seahorses or something.

*4)Prostitution* - Prostitution is not cool! You are not going to meet cute, stable guys because a cute, stable guy wouldn't need the services of a prostitute. 



*Fangirl Japanese* With all these resources available, you think people could get things right. I don't mind using honourfics correctly in fic, because most of them don't really have English equivalents, though some can work (like Mr or Mrs for -san, or lord and lady for -sama). But so often they get them totally wrong.

*"Please read and review"* - I hate that line. It's particularly annoying when it's on EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. I also don't like "Reviews make me write faster". 

The only thing worse is the "I must get X number of review or I won't post the next chapter!" I once came across a really good story but I stopped reading because the author kept on posting that. It was sad since she/he/it probably would have gotten plenty of reviews regardless.


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## Therahedwig (Oct 11, 2005)

*MY petpeeves?*

okey then, my pet peeves:

*Random fics*:
Random doesn't work in written form!
Anyone who has read Shaman King manga, or(as I did recently) Bleach manga, will know what an example of good randomness is(don't know whether Naruto manga has this too, seeing as I'm an anim?fan).
It's the art of having one truly silly picture or happening, that is just so random, it seems to wack you in the head with a hammer.
This is a good example of random
But it just doesn't work in fiction, especially when you're doing it in script form.
And that's because randomness can be totally ruined by description...

*Low Grade YAOI(and probarly YURI too), AKA the WeepyUke! Syndrome*:
I used to like weepyukeness, untill I grew up, and figured that when I read YAOI, I want it to be about MEN and not about breastless women with dicks...

*Fangirls who can't get the difference between YAOI and Shonen-Ai*:
Yes there's a difference, YAOI being PWP passionate love, and Shonen ai being Spiritual Love.

*Ho!Naruto*:
The highschool fics in which Naruto is the lovely WheepyUke! and strong Seme!s Sasuke, Neji and Gaara have to fight over him!
I only know of one fic that does this well, but that's because Naruto is manly enough not to be annoyed at...
Next to that I would like to say that I utterly detest YAOIloverS, 'cause she's the queen of Ho!Naruto...(having writen more then one fic about it)

And ofcourse a lot of stuff that's already said above, like the Meritsu(an eastern looking way of writing Mary Sue) and the bloody annoying authors notes...(I hate muses!)

---Offtopic---
How come there are so few Yaoifangirls in this section?
This is supossed to be their bloody territory!


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## Evil Dragon (Oct 11, 2005)

*My Dislikes when it comes to writing Fan Fics*

*Yaoi/yuri:* I dislike this in stories espcially when clearly the character isn't gay and suddently he/she is. If it contains this I'm most likey not going to read it.


*Spelling Mistakes* I know, we all make mistakes, plently of times, and I certainly know I do, we're human, but when some Fan Fics just have too much mistakes you need a spell checker, I always use my MS Word since it has a spell checker.

*Author's Notes, Reviews ect.What ever you call'em:* It's almost ok to answer some reviews before the story but sometimes enough is enough, there's like a half a page of review answering, if you have alot of reviews just don't reply to them espcially if you have over 100+ or more some even make a whole chapter just to answer reviews.


*Number of Reviews must be meet* There are some good stories that stop just cause a certain amout of people didn't meet what your standards was, so I say if you really like writing stories(I know I do)The just keep on writing, you'll get reviews sooner or later.



*Short Chapters:*I don't like it when the chapters a really short just save it untill you add on.


*RND Characters*RND(Random)Characters the ones who just pop up out of no where after a long time or 1,000,000 years or whatever is what I do not like. Then soon maybe that rnd character just ends up with the main character, kills him, ect. If there're just a...lets see a backround character like woman number 1 then please don't make it that she suddently get's sucked into the story.


*Camera, lights, Details....?* I'd like stories that have a few details not like, (insert name here) does a damaging blow and (insert person getting hit name here) falls back, I've read some stories that really does have that.



*Correctness?:*When doing stories that's like for example Naruto how it's almost like acient japanese style, it's kind of good to know some of it because it'll sound really crazy sometimes when a character does Flaming Kick of Death(Or insert other crazy action move here) and when doing made up characters you'll have to give them like a japanese name not Bobby or any other name.



Heh, I'll never really do Naruto stories since I don't know most of the characters and japanese style so I'm best at drawing them. 

(100% Evil)


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## jadenlightstarz (Oct 11, 2005)

My pet peeve is...

BAD JAPANESE.

Sorry, I haven't read the thread all the way through, and I'm sure someone had to have mentioned it by now... but here goes. I haven't been into Naruto fanfiction for very long (honestly, only a month) but I've already noticed that, many fics are just a...cesspool of bad japanese.

Bad Japanese is the bane of anime fanfiction. Please, please, please... people if you're going to throw some japanese into your fanfic, _make sure that you know what it *means*._

For example: the word "teme" is used in a sense of "Why you...!!" or "You bastard!" 
"teme" is not an honorific like "-san," "-sama," or "-chan"

When Naruto says "Sasuke, teme!" it's "Sasuke, you bastard!" 

I hate seeing it like this:
_Naruto looked up at Sasuke, his eyes shimmering brightly with tears. "Sasuke-teme, I love you..."_

Now, if that line was written and it was our normally snarky Naruto and not some weak Naruto-pansy, it would be funny for him to say, "Sasuke, you bastard, I love you" 

That's besides the point though. The point here is... TEME IS NOT AN HONORIFIC OF ADORATION. _IT ISN'T AN HONORIFIC AT ALL._


Sure, its cute for a little authenticity at times. However, there's no reason for Naruto to go "NANI?!" instead of "WHAT!?" Yes...we know they're speaking japanese. Its a given. Also, believe it or not, there are people that don't know these fragmented words and it would only serve to confuse readers.

Sasuke and other people call Naruto an idiot a lot, yes... but there's no reason that people can't just type the word "idiot" in english instead of "usurukontachi"

...it's a whole lot heck of a lot less letters! And it would only serve to confuse people that don't necessarily listen to the japanese when they watch episodes. The first time I read a Naruto fic, I only knew what usurukontachi meant because I actually pay attention to the japanese in the show as it is spoken.

Now, I don't speak japanese... but that's exactly why I don't use it in writing. _Cause I don't know it. And it would probably be wrong._ Save face and write in full-on English people. (On a side note, why the hell do some people strive to write in bad Japanese when they don't even have any command of Englsih?)

No one is going to hate you if you write "what" instead of "nani" or "loser" instead of "dobe."

So yeah... forget about cliche pairings, situations, and all that... I can't even get to that stuff if I see a crapload of bad japanese strewn throughout the writing. X.x


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## Dead_Last_1986 (Oct 26, 2005)

*Pet Peevesies.*

Ahem, here we go!

1. Stories that have horrible grammar/spelling. I know that not everyone has word, (I don't) and Open Office is DAMNED complicated (I gave up after a day.) but there is a modicum of basic knowledge one should be expected to have a handle on before said person goes and puts his or her story online. Oftentimes, if those two things are really bad, the story doesn't have a worthwhile plot anyway. Moderate mistakes I can handle. <Htis i kennut, handol.>

2. Mary Sues, SI's and really all OC's unless I have a really good recommendation. I don't want to read about your made up character-- I want to read about Naruto characters. If it says oc, I generally don't read it. I especially dislike <A boy/girl gets sucked into tv/computer and is suddenly in Konoha/Suna-gakure and get's with female/male character of choice.>...'s (Whew, mouthful!) I really really hate those.

3. Grossly (notice GROSSLY) OOC characters without alternate universe or a good reason. And not just a good reason--a very good reason. However, it takes an incredible amount of OOC'ness to turn me off, so I don't even know if that counts

(Side note. I have noticed a lot of yaoi hatin' here. Eep, I actually didn't like it either till recently. If this were two weeks ago I would totally agree. But I have recently discovered ONE(and only one) yaoi couple I like. However, I must now add my two-cents. The fact is that Yaoi/Yuri are equally as viable categories of fanfiction as het, and I don't think they really qualifies as a PET peeves-- more like good old fashioned dislike for a genre, much like I abhor parodies and crossovers. Those aren't pet peeves of mine. I just hate 'em. I agree with whoever said there should be a filter though, for the exact opposite of most of you ;3. You don't wanna rummage through yaoi/yuri-I don't wanna rummage through het.)

4. Uchiha-cest/Sand-cest/Hyuuga-cest/any other-cest. Just yuck. i*c*st is not a good or entertaining thing and if a fic even vaguely hints at it I will drop said fic like it's hot.

5. Bad AU's. I don't like badly written, or plotholy, or takes-forever-to-get-to-the-point AU's. Usually I know if I like it within the first three paragraphs. I gotta say though, the one type of AU I do invariably like to read is the one most of you guys seem to not. The 'Naruto Goes To High-School Fic'-dun dun DUN! I dunno, I think it's because it seems plausible, unlike most of the other--"anime/manga characters go to high-school" thingies. I mean seriously, I could see the Naruto characters as HS students, I could not, for example, see DBZ, FMA, or Cowboy Bebop characters as such.

6. Script Format. GRRRRRR! 

7.Non-drabbles (ie: chapter stories) that have less than 1,000 (preferably 3000+) words per chapter. One shots should have at least 2000 words, or I usually won't read it unless it's recommended or the title/summary catches my fancy.

8. Character-bashing when the entire story is about bashing a character. I can't stand those! (And I don't care, I'll flame a bitch for bashing Naruto! How can anyone NOT like him?)

9. Stories that don't have a space between paragraphs.

10. Using numbers in the wrong context.

11. Art of the Cornflower no Jutsu! (I think that's self explanatory)

12. Thanksgiving, Independence, Martin Luther King, etc,-Day fics. Those are all american holidays folks, and I doubt the Naruto-verse has ever even heard of them.

13. Stories wherein a long lost relative of a main/secondary character comes to Konoha and every member of the opposite/same sex falls in love with him/her. (See Pet Peeve #2)

14. Stories where it says there's an average of three or four thousand words and you check it out, only to find that two thousand of those are taken up by review replies and obscenely long author's notes.

15. Last but not least, FFN. I am pretty peeved with them. I know it's too much to want a quality filter, as that would actually require work, but could they please get off their lazy asses and put some kind of system of categorization in besides the mundane Genre? These days I go there to find one good fic and follow the links/favorites from there, letting others do the work for me. I usually go to AFF, MM.org, or just Google the pairing I want. You wouldn't think it, but looking on Google is actually a lot easier than rooting through FFN.

Sorry to be so long winded there and that isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I have an incredible capacity for peevishness. Ja ne! 

PS. This is the BEST Naruto forum ever!

EDIT: 16. MPREG. No. No. No. No. NO! BAD! Besides the fact that it could never happen and should never happen, it's just gross. It's right up there at the heels of i*c*st. Gyah.


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## Vegeta (Oct 27, 2005)

New one on me, writing out what happens in the Anime, pretty much word for word in speech and description.

See here
 for an example of what I am talking about.


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## LynnAzure (Oct 30, 2005)

1. OOCness. 
When they make Naruto louder and dumber than he is. 
Make Sakura a whiny, loud, cowardly bitch.. 

2. When they make haku a girl

3. Most yaoi

4. I hate it when the authors don't even know Naruto and actually ask readers for facts.

5. Rushed pairings

6. Abused Hinata fics. I hate those, her father is not a monster.

7. Itachi/Sasuke fics. I think it's gross.

8. Rape fics where the victim falls in love with the rapist, it's wrong on so many levels.

9. I dislike it when a supossably mature adult is trying to matchmake two children. I've read some fics where some older woman, a mother or older sister figure to Naruto tries to set him up with Hinata. What adult would meddle with a childs first crush or love like that?

10. Most NaruHina fics.. they usually make the characters ooc.
A type of NaruHina fic I specially hate is the Naruto is hurt, Hinata finds out, rushes to the hospital and demands to nurses and/or doctor that she see Naruto.. some hours after that Naruto will somehow figure out that he likea her. It's pretty much cannon that Hinata would not react like that to an injured Naruto.
Another type I hate is Hinata is hurt by her father and Naruto rushes to her house to confront him. This is so overused.

11. High School fics. If I wanted High School drama, I wouldn't read or watch Naruto.

12. Self Inserts. Specially when it's in the middle of the story.. like the characters can be in the ramen bar and suddenly three girls barge in creating chaos and then head out.

13. When the author chats with the characters in his ANs. I don't really hate it unless it drags on for pages.. but it is plain weird.

14. crossovers. Ranma, Harry Potter, FF, most of these have a hard time fitting with Naruto.

15. When authors make all the grown up rockie nine into tall, perfectly muscular men with bodies to rival body builders. I think we have enough information from cannon to know that Sasuke, for example, will not grow to be taller than Kakashi. His father and brother are two of the shortest adults in Naruto I think (only Sandaime was shorter). Some make Chouji skinny when he will always be fat, since it is necessary to perform his clans techniques. 

16. When the characters speak in Japanese.. I don't mind the most common words and honorifics but whole sentences are annoying. 

mmm I think those are it


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## Lyndsay-Marie (Nov 7, 2005)

*My Pet Peeves*

Here is my list of pet peeves after reading all of the other ones:

1. Heterosexual fics. EWWW, I do not care what your sexual preferences are, I do not appreciate reading half way through a supposedly Naruto/Sasuke/Neji fic to find Sasuke kissing Sakura; like that woud actually happen.

2. People who do not know anything about Naruto, but decide that they want to write a fic anyways, it's just dumb...watch it or read it please!

3. Internet spelling in the fic. For example: "y r u doin this?" also when people put little emoticons in the fic, example: , ^__^, o.O

4. Self Inserts or Mary Sues. It's just weird....and wrong...

5. Author's notes or blank spaces (for half the fic) in the middle of the fic. WTF? What is wrong with you people?

6. Flamers who complain about yaoi after reading the story, especially when the warning was in the summary. Shut the Hell up and look somewere else you homophobic freak.

7. People who expect you to take all of the advice they leave for you in their reviews. I already know what I am going to write in my fic...go and write your own.

8. Author's who ask for advice in their fics and those who leave rhetorical questions...write your own story!!

9. Rape fics where the main character is raped and then cannot live on until they have sex with their significant other... give me a break...like that's going to happen.

10. Pedo fics. Come on...enough said....

11. i*c*st fics...especially Itachi/Sasuke....what the hell people?

12. Characters who are dead cannot have sex with the living..and if two characters have never met and never are intended to meet...they can't do it either...

13. Terrible grammatical errors or spelling errors that are like...uh... are you sure this is english?

So yeah...that's it for most of my pet peeves, I am a well groomed fic reader and I notice that these are reoccurring problems, and I know that there are many people who hate any kind of Yaoi and they then think that it is okay for them to post rude comments about hose of us who do like it, but honestly..get over it because there are more Naruto/Sasuke fics then any others.

~Ja Ne

Lyndsay-Marie


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## Miss_WD40 (Nov 16, 2005)

*Yay!!!!*

I agree with those views on fics and thank you for voicing these thoughts ... and it's 'those' not 'hose'.


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## Peliqua (Nov 16, 2005)

This thread was made for me. <3

1. Hinata and Neji are forced to marry! ZOMGZHOWORIGINAL. This bullshit piece of crap idea is so goddamnit pathetic. It's usually only there to allow for Naruto to go, 'HEY! I LOVE HINATA!' or Tenten to go 'OMGBUTTHATSMYMAN..!'. And, in the few cases that it's actually done for the sake of a NejiHina story, I find it retarded because the whole forced marriage thing is not a good foundation for love. Ever. Sorry.

2. 'Sasuke-temee..!' 'Dobe..!' <---Obviously

3. Neji or Sasuke saying 'Hn' in reply to everything. (grunting)

4. In couples involving more stoic seme's (NejiTen, SasuSaku, NejiHina, SakuGaa, etc..), it bothers me when the female (or not stoic one) is psychic to their partner's thoughts, or can calm them down with a touch, etc. EG- Sasuke gets mad, Sakura says his name, and he controls himself. *(% VT*) 

5. Most i*c*st, however Hyuugacest to a lesser extent. It's not AS i*c*st (at least in the case of NejiHina). If that makes sense. But still, You can give me all the bullshit you want about how i*c*st is 'Okay in Japan!', but guess what? I'm not Japanese and neither are you. I was brought up in the Americas, and beside the possible genetic difficulties, etc,  why would you ever become infatuated with a sibling? Try to think about kissing a sibling. Try.

6. When authors write a character's thoughts without actually writing it.
'Naruto sighed in disappointment, his lower lip jutting out to create an irresistable pout. Sasuke blinked.
_Woah, Naruto looks kind of cute like that... wait a second, I did not just think that!!_'

7. Mpreg.

8. R AND R PLZ

9. Author's conversing with characters, near the disclaimor or Author's Note.

10. Japanese sentences in English Fanfiction.

11. Most lemons. From what I can tell, real sex is not all the passionate anime bullshit that fangirls write about. It's "Hey, can you move a bit, your arm's on my hair...". However, there are good lemons.

That's all I can think of now.. I'll come back, prolly.


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## Ikke AshLEE (Nov 16, 2005)

Geez, no matter how many times mpreg comes out, it only disturbs me more and more.  Why ever...?  Just no.  The end.  >.<*


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## wingsover (Nov 18, 2005)

The rage of years now has a place to spill forth. 

Actually, many of my pet peeves have already been mentioned here, so I thought I'd drop a few ones I haven't seen. (they may have been - I didn't read all the posts)

1) I love Naruto. SO, when I read a fic, I don't want it to have Naruto uber-powered and acting like Sasuke. Naruto is NOT a cold-hearted emotionless super-genius. It's not the overpoweredness I mind, nor the intimation that Naruto may have a mind. I could argue that he's shown time and time again that he is actually intelligent (well-hidden beneath layers of hyperactiveness) and powerful. BUT he is also a happy, cheerful, loud personality. It's more fun to read him acting like himself, and dealing with powers. 

2) Naruto's new uber-powers ripped off from other characters/shows. While it's cool to read 'Naruto is really an Uchiha/Hyuuga/related to Haku' if DONE WELL, Naruto just up and developing powers for no reason pisses me off. Give it backstory, AT LEAST.

3) I won't mention pairings, as those are matters of opinion. But if writing a romance story, keep the characters true to themselves. If you're writing a SasuSaku, don't have Sakura and Sasuke squabbling and having a love/hate relationship. SAKURA DOESN'T ACT LIKE THAT AROUND SASUKE. 

4) Author's notes in the middle of the story. Especially the "Lee fell down and he was on fire. (Author's note: LOL!)" Number one, way to interrupt the flow of the story. Number two, even if your joke in the story was witty beyond belief (which it probably wasn't) that just ruined it.


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## sonnie_skies (Nov 20, 2005)

Oh dear...Here we go.  *BIGGEST RANT EVER.*

1. Uchihacest by fangirls that think it's "cute."  Honestly, how is i*c*st cute, really?  And since they all have to be rape fics too, considering that SASUKE HATES ITACHI, how is that cute either???  "Cute" is the only reason I ever see anyone liking this pairing, and it obviously hasn't been thought out very much beyond "OMG they're so HAWT LET'S MAKE THEM SCREW!"

2. Hyuugacest: I can accept this as long as neji and hinata are in character, but I haven't seen that happen yet.  And the secondary characters?  They exist and they should behave a certain way too.  And the same "it's so cute" argument grates on me too.  i*c*st has nothing to do with why I don't care for this pairing in the first place, as no one can ever seem to pull it off anyway.

3. Random yaoi with characters that has absolutely no basis and has both parties acting out of character.  Yeah...I'm sure Neji and Shikamaru can't wait to jump each other.  Naru/Gaa, Naru/Sasu, and even Gaa/Lee I see a basis for, but having the flavor of the month trying to get in Naruto's pants, only to be fended off by an uncharacteristically non-apathetic Sasuke makes NO SENSE.  Again, some yaoi fics can be very believable and well-written, but most of them are really cliche, formulaic, and just really, really unlikely.  The males of the Naruto universe have yet to discover their sexuality, and if they have (assuming they've taken spent forty years wandering in the wilderness with a map and a compass to find it), they aren't prowling around for other men.  Yaoi rape fics, too...most of the characters in the Naruto universe wouldn't commit rape.  Sorry, fangirls.  And OMG healing!sex is offensive to anyone that's ever suffered rape.  MPreg...do I need to really go there?  *Ultimately, some yaoi can be good given the author has intelligence, talent, and good judgment.*  That's just a rarity.

4. Bad grammar/bad spelling/bad formatting/bad punctuation/bad grasp of basic fandom elements.  Naruto can't steal Neji's gentle fist techniques; he DOESN'T HAVE BYAKUGAN.  Sasuke has to do more than call Naruto a dobe repeatedly.  And yes, Kakashi's late but don't make a whole chapter about it.  And please...Kakashi has an angsty past but he doesn't really act suicidal all the time, now does he?  He's not rude or sarcastic-rarely do those characteristics actually make someone cool.  The poor guy's been through hell and back but what makes him so interesting is that you don't know it by the way he acts.  Oh...and keep him away from Iruka.  Only seen one author who could handle KakaIru believably.  AND *GOD*, HE'S NOT GOING TO RAPE THE POOR GUY!

5. Self-insertions.  I once saw an author claim her character wasn't a Mary Sue.  Oh.  Oh right.  Dedicating the first half of chapter one to her outfit changes (who changes costumes more than Cher within the first day of visiting Konoha, anyway?) is not the way to convince people of that.  And no, she's not going to beat Neji, Lee, or Naruto.  And did it maybe ever occur to you that someone so dispassionate and rude and narcissistic really isn't attractive or cool or really all that confident anyway?  The whole dropping of modern-day people in the Naruto-world is overdone too-get your ass back to the real world!  *Original Characters can be done well, I've seen it myself.  Once again, INTELLIGENCE REQUIRED!*

6. Making a character more annoying/slutty/unlikeable just because YOU don't like her/him.  Don't like Sakura?  Find a way to convey that other than making her a tramp that interferes with Sasuke and Naruto finding true love.  Don't like Temari?  Well then, it makes perfect sense to have her hang out with Kin and Tayuya and make them the school's bad news girls.  Don't like Naruto?  Gee, let's make him a total simpleton who cares about ramen, and _only _ramen.  Oh...and if you like a character, don't pimp him/her out so that he/she's suddenly popular.  Like Sakura, whom I like...Neji is not going to chase after her.  He has zero interaction with her and that will likely be the case forever.  He's not going to be bowled over by her beauty, because NEJI DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.  And making her all tough and hardass so she's suddenly "cool"?  Come one.  Sakura isn't Sakura anymore if she turns dispassionate, bitchy, and cold.  She's really developed a lot in positive ways, and if they aren't enough, find another character you like more and work with what's been established.

7. Story flamers who write in sticky caps.  Like anyone takes you seriously if you misspell a character's name like this: SaKUrRA SuX1!  I hatE HRE!  Riiight.  You're winning points with the world, as well as with the author you're flaming.  It's really easy to dismiss opinions of others when you're convinced they're just _oh_-so smart.  Constructive criticism is fine; no one's above it.  Conversely, if you're going to complain about criticism, you shouldn't be putting your stuff out there for people to read.  Everyone who criticizes your story doesn't automatically suck.  Oh, and review whores?  If I see "Review or I won't update" I close the window.

8. Random dialogues between the author and fictional characters.  Oh, and random author notes in the middle of the story, i.e. "OMG, GAARA SHIRTLESS!!! KAWAII!!!!"  Let me also add that fangirl japanese is ridiculous.  If I wanted to read a fanfic in japanese, i'd read the _entire_ thing in japanese.  The insertion of random phrases does nothing but demonstrate "oh look what i learned on the internet GO!ME!"  Honorifics are fine, but don't push it.

9. Begging for pairings/criticizing an author for pairings.  IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT.  Then again, if there are OTHER things wrong with the fic, why don't you use those instead as a reason why you don't care for it?  And telling an author they suck because you want NejiSaku and they've written a Nejiten is just rude.  Write it yourself.  I've seen so many great authors put off by their "fans" rudely harassing them because the pairing is "wrong."  

10.  If you can't write a bad summary, it stands to reason that other people will pick up on this without you writing it out for them.  You have, what, two lines to advertise your story and you're going to waste a third of that saying "I CAN'T WRITE SUMMARIES" or "this sum sux JST READ k"?  Any reader who wants to spend time wisely will skip over those stories in a heartbeat.  

*BIGGEST PETPEEVE* STAYING IN CHARACTER
Okay.  Gaara needs more than a hug and a cookie.  Though improbable, Sasuke should be PUNISHED for fleeing the village.  Naruto is not the ultimate uke.  Lee and Gai are deeper than 95% of author's realize.  Neji's practically asexual-some developments need to happen before he has the hots for ANYONE.  Shino talks.  Temari has a cruel streak, as does Kankurou.  Itachi is mainly a plot device.  Sakura is supposed to be unlikeable at first, but you're supposed to like her more and more along the way.  Ino really is a good friend.  Shikamaru is lazy, but he's noble and self-sacrificing.  Chouji isn't a simpleton.  Tenten isn't a pushover.  Hinata's likely to never confess her feelings and Naruto's unlikely to ever pick up on them.  Haku is a BOY.  Anko's not a heartless, unfeeling bitch, Tsunade isn't perpetually asleep or drunk, and THE 'TAILS DON'T HAVE DETAILED CONVERSATIONS WITH THEIR HOSTS 24/7.

</RANT>  There's probably more, but I'm tired.


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## Therahedwig (Nov 21, 2005)

mary_sonnie said:
			
		

> *BIGGEST PETPEEVE* STAYING IN CHARACTER
> Okay.  Gaara needs more than a hug and a cookie.  Though improbable, Sasuke should be PUNISHED for fleeing the village.  Naruto is not the ultimate uke.  Lee and Gai are deeper than 95% of author's realize.  Neji's practically asexual-some developments need to happen before he has the hots for ANYONE.  Shino talks.  Temari has a cruel streak, as does Kankurou.  Itachi is mainly a plot device.  Sakura is supposed to be unlikeable at first, but you're supposed to like her more and more along the way.  Ino isn't a cold-hearted bitch.  Shikamaru is lazy, but he's noble and self-sacrificing.  Chouji isn't a simpleton.  Tenten isn't a pushover.  Hinata's likely to never confess her feelings and Naruto's unlikely to ever pick up on them.  Haku is a BOY.  Anko's not a heartless, unfeeling bitch, Tsunade isn't perpetually asleep or drunk, and THE 'TAILS DON'T HAVE DETAILED CONVERSATIONS WITH THEIR HOSTS 24/7.
> 
> </RANT>  There's probably more, but I'm tired.


And when the 'tails do, they ain't gonna  be all fluffy huggy stuff... as I said before: They're demons people! DEMONs!
And I really hate it that people turn Itachi into "Teh hawt Rapist!" with sadistic streaks and all... While in reality Itachi barely says anything at all, and just tries to do his job, and it won't help either if you have him run around proclaiming he only did it to protect his little brother from whatever, even if it would be true, it just wouldn't be very Itachi-like, now would it?
Really, it's the previous that actually makes it hard for me to read Uchihacest, aside from the i*c*st...


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## ShuiMei (Nov 21, 2005)

Oh where to begin...

There is, of course, poor *grammar and punctuation*. I'm a grammar whore myself so I just cringe and cringe at every little thing and say out the corrections while I read. If you're going to go through the trouble of writing something and uploading it for other people to read the least you could do is make it comprehensible and grammatically correct- get a bloody beta-reader for Buddha's sake.

Self-insertions and all its mutations are painful to see anywhere, I don't even have to read them to feel repulsed. Just stop, _s'il vous plait_.

I'd be fine with *original characters* if they only had tolerable names. Nothing kills me more than having characters with American/Western names. Naruto is a Japanese series with characters who, for the most part, have Japanese names, atleast have the decency to keep the flow going. Also, if you're going to give the character a Japanese name please make it something that sounds like an actual name or would qualify as an actual name, throwing random combinations of consonant-vowel combos that "kind of sound like Japanese" does not cut it, the same goes with last names, please use something that works. 

and maybe it has to do with the fact I envision Tenten as someone of Chinese origin, but I'm really thrown off when she's given a Japanese last name. There were several works where authors have given her a Chinese last name, but then they also made up names for her family members and well, they *tried* to make them 'Chinese' but uh, no- it didn't quite make it.

Obviously being *out-of-character* is a big no-no, I don't care who the hell it is he's saying this to but Neji does not say 'I love you,' I just don't see it happening, ever. Does Neji even have bloody hormones? You're goin to have to develop SOMETHING in order to get any reaction out of him at all. Even if he ever did feel that way about someone he just is not the type to verbally express his feelings, he's more action-oriented and there's a whole bunch of other characters who fall into this category.

I am also not a big fan of marriages. They're together? That's great, do they really need to get MARRIED? Seems like overkill to me. Not a big fan of getting preggers either, yeah they fornicated, that's wonderful, two-seconds later she's knocked up, once again, seems like overkill. Can't they just be together and leave it at that? Do they need to get married, have children, live together in a modest home and enroll the offspring into Ninja Academy? It's too perfect and atypical for my taste.

Oh, and please do not have author notes in the middle of the bloody fic, it's distracting and completely wrecks the flow of the story. *Random bits of Japanese also do not make you cool*, it makes my brain hurt instead.

I can't think of anything else at the moment :3


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## wingsover (Nov 21, 2005)

Leaving out the Mary-Sue factor, I hate it when everyone turns perfect, especially in coupledom. Hinata no longer stutters and teases her adoring, yet sensitive husband Naruto. A well-adjusted Sasuke smiles at his confident, self-sufficient wife Sakura. Neji BABYSITS THE KIDS. 

No. Just...no. 

Also, that goes for the whole get-together scene. With the smallest amount of provocation, and usually massively out-of-character, someone spills the I LUB YOU on their object of affection. They accept. And from that moment on, they are perfect boyfriend and girlfriend, until the wedding. Sensitive, supportive, sweet. 

GAG.

Not that I want the soap operas that American television perpetuates, either. We do NOT NEED an orgy of cheating, broken hearts, crying, vengeance sworn and taken, and bastard children of dead parents. No. That is also a peeve of mine.

But couldn't we just keep their personalities - flaws and all - intact? Neji will, in case it ever dawns on him not to live his life alone and bitter, still be cool and uncommunicative. Naruto will be dense, loud and untactful. Sasuke IS A MENTALLY DISTURBED TRAITOR, and will not come back to roses, white picket fences and a fully-healed psyche.


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## KunoichiTenten (Nov 21, 2005)

My fanfic pet peeves are NejiSaku....because I just don't get it......when did they really even have a deep conversation? It really annoys me...but then I'm just a crazily obsessed NejiTen fan ^_^ Other pet peeves would be grammatical errors and vagueness. Grammatical errors because it's so annoying...for example, "naruto ask Sakura" The S for goodness sake! Irritates me so much....that I can't finish it. Vagueness, because...well, wouldn't a story with no detail at all make you feel like throwing it away? I mean....for example, Sakura likes Sasuke, Sasuke says she is annoying, Sakura is sad, Sasuke says sorry, They all live happily ever after. Ok, that was exaggerated...but somewhat like that. If this offended anyone...I'm VERY sorry. These things just irritate me a lot.


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## Kasumi 霞 (Nov 21, 2005)

Those fics where the character acts like he/she's practically dying of loneliness... actually any fic where the people are dying of unbearable loneliness, maybe except if it's Gaara or Naruto. It just seems lame and cliched.

Exaggerating character personalities of side characters in a fic such as making Naruto extremely stupid, Sakura extremely arrogant and annoying, Kakashi as a huge pervert and that sort of stuff.

Also... putting in random Japanese words that aren't very widely known, normal greetings like Ohayou is okay and Hai... but anything harder than that makes it annoying.


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## nwoppertje (Nov 27, 2005)

What annoys me was when I edited my fanfic on fanfiction.net (spacing between parts, nicely cut up in different parts) that it got published as one giant, huge piece of text. And I cannot change it or whatsoever. 

But with having an Apple-system the only option to upload it to FF-net is .txt and it uploads it into that piece of text so I was guessing I could edit it there, but my wonky Apple-ness made sure it didn't catched on.

Rant: *why is EVERYTHING only fully compatible with PC and/or Microsoft? It was a brilliant fanfic goddamnit!*


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## Omolara (Nov 27, 2005)

Character assasination for the sake of a horrible plot. I have seen way too many Naru/Saku, Naru/Hina, Sasu/Ino, Kaka/Saku, Shika/Tem, and Shika/Ino that do this.
Using the first pairing as an example:
Sasuke almost always goes completely evil, hurts Sakura (the convenient damsel in distress even now), and says/does some completely ooc things. He's like fandom Ron Weasley. His grammar gets really bad and he swears way more than he ever would. He also beats Sakura causing her to run to the waiting arms of Naruto/Lee/Neji????

I also hate it when authors try to make the characters sound cool by making cultural references and using modern (usually American) slang.

OOC-ness to the extreme. What makes us love fanfiction is seeing our favourite characters in different situations, not complete strangers bearing their names.

Character descriptons using words like hot(t), fine, sexy, etc. Don't tell us what they look like, show us! The same goes for describing who they are. 

I'll think of more later, but I have to potty now.


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## Dark_wolf247 (Nov 27, 2005)

Predictability. I hate fanfics when you can guess what's going to happen next. =/


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## FitzChivalry (Dec 9, 2005)

Misspelling, constant misuse of punctuation and grammar, etc. It seems to me that some don't even proof-read. It's like they write it in one sitting and just put it out there. It's horrible.

Truthfully, most aren't ready.


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## Ave-chan (Jan 3, 2006)

- It's really annoying when a writer clearly announces in the summary that the fic contains yaoi or yuri, but somebody still comes "Ohmigod yaoi that suxxx u freek!!111+" 
- The lack of adjectives
- English as their second or third language speaking writers who apologize for their bad Engrish (sometimes even middle of a fic -_-) yet do nothing to fix that. 
- "ohmigosh loved it please update soon!!+" Yes, I love it too, but whyyy oh whyyy?
- Not reading the author's notes and reviewing, but also "please please please review onegaishimasu~~ ;__;"

These are the things I personally hate. There are more, though. I feel so evil :/


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## TheVileOne (Jan 4, 2006)

I agree with Omolara, character assassination is a problem.  They do it a lot to Sasuke, and Sakura.  Its usually done to Sakura when Naruto gets paired up with a female other than her.  Even if the pairing is well written, Sakura trying to kill Naruto and the like for "hurting Sasuke" just doesn't work.  

However, I don't mind Sasuke turning totally evil if its well done.  Usually the well done ones have him redeeming himself in some way like in "The Person I Admire," at the end.


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## wingsover (Jan 6, 2006)

...the thing is, I don't see that as straight-out character assasination. If you had Naruto do that, or Lee - who are obviously head-over-heels for her, that's assasination. But though it would be a little OOC for Sasuke, I could see it. He is, after all, a traitor. He's never been NICE to Sakura, though never physically abusive. In other words, I don't think it's much of a reach to portray Sasuke as the bad guy.

I HATE those "Sakura a helpless abused housewife, Sasuke a violent raving maniac AND NO ONE NOTICES, she flees to Kakashi or Naruto or Neji or Ino." fics, though.


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## Sh33p (Jan 6, 2006)

Naruto-gets-a-BloodlineUMGWTFPWN.

Author'sfavoritecharacterxANYTHINGWITHADICK stories.

i*c*st. _Of any. Kind._ All i*c*st authors need to be dragged out into the street and shot 

Yaoi and yuri. A touch of shounen/shoujo-ai--_if canon_--is fine with me. Blatantly disregarding the canon just makes me want to jam my hand through the internet, grab the other's lower jaw, tear it off and bludgeon a small animal with it.

Stories where Sasuke returns without anyone objecting to it in any way, shape or form. Or stories where, if they _do_, they're made out to look like biggots, idiots, jackasses, etc, as opposed to _rational human beings_.


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## Therahedwig (Jan 6, 2006)

Sh33p said:
			
		

> Stories where Sasuke returns without anyone objecting to it in any way, shape or form. Or stories where, if they _do_, they're made out to look like biggots, idiots, jackasses, etc, as opposed to _rational human beings_.


And this people, is why I stopped reading CU (or OU) fics, as they are usually crappy pre-chuunin exam fics, or they are ignoring canon for the sake of Sasuke/godknowswhat, or they are what Sh33p described above.

And besides, there are many AUs that aren't vampire fics or highschool fics...


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## Shishou (Jan 6, 2006)

Any yaoi outside the actual gay chars, such as Sasuke, Sai, Orochimaru, Deidara, Haku...


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## Mizura (Jan 6, 2006)

> But still, You can give me all the bullshit you want about how i*c*st is 'Okay in Japan!'


"i*c*st" is as "not okay" in Japan as it is anywhere else.  What Japan qualifies as "i*c*st" anyway.



> but guess what? I'm not Japanese and neither are you. I was brought up in the Americas


I'm not Japanese, but I'm not American either.  I'm European, Belgian specifically. For NejiHina for example, I didn't even associate that pairing with "i*c*st" until (to my big surprise actually), I heard people bitching about it. >.>



> and beside the possible genetic difficulties


Scientists have commonly dismissed the genetic argument against marriage with close relations. That's because saying that "closely related people marrying automatically gives off deformed babies" is just about as accurate as saying that "being gay gives you Aids": the increase is not that big. Between first cousins for example, the increase in risk of deformities is just about as big as when a woman has a kid at age 40 instead of before age 30. Much more at risk are people with a family history of genetic problems, especially of the dominant kind, yet neither women over 40 nor the pre-mentioned category of families are prevented from having children. Much more convincing, against the "i*c*st" argument though, is that of intra-familial harmony: it's "awkward" if the person you grew up right next to, perhaps sharing the same bathtubs and sharing the same rooms or beds, is a potential mate. But I'm rambling. ^^

My pet peeves (in no particular order):

1. Mary Sues, or general original characters that take the spotlight too much away from the other characters. The thing is, I'm a fan of "Naruto" and its cast, not of some made-up other character. Original characters can be made to assist the main cast and acquire a depth of its own, but I simply don't care about them otherwise.

2. Making a character into a Mary Sue. =_= Hello, invincible is BORING, and is all too often done at the detriment of character development or of well-written fights, as the character ends up owning everyone to hell. It can be satisfying at first, then it gets annoying. If I wanted invincible, I'd go read DBZ or DBZ fics. Even worse is "Near-invincible but OMG he has One weakness" and even worse "Near-invincible but OMG he has One weakness which is the girl of his dreams and she gets kidnapped OMG!!1!1 (read Way too many NaruHinas this type back when I supported the pairing. =__= Then Naruto goes berserk, and Hinata is the only one who manages to calm him down. C'mon!)

3. [insert girl character] <- [insert all the male characters] or [insert guy character] <- [insert all the girl characters]. Okay so the Entire cast is after this girl or this guy even though they've essentially ignored this girl or guy in canon? Hello, this gets ridiculous. =__= Triangles are still fine, and can lead up to nicely complex stories, but beyond that it gets ridiculous and none of the potential pairings gets well-developed. Usually such fics are just to "show off" the main guy/girl or main pairing by having the rest of the cast drool at them, but it gets stupid after a while. >.>

4. Excessively horny characters. :| So guys go "omg she's looking at me and whoa what are these weird thoughts... and look at those [insert body part], how come I've never noticed them before? Hm... [insert dirty thoughts] Wait." Girl: [insert girl equivalent]. ... ... *ten seconds later* [censored] Me: Wait, have they actually even talked much before this? 

5. When certain characters get parodied (in the bad sense) to death in order to bring out the main characters.  Way too much Sakura-bashing, for example. She's not the ultimate bitch, thank you very much, if this is the only way you can make the pairing get anywhere then it's really stupid. I actually read a fic once though that managed to simultaneously give depth to all the characters, including the supporting cast (thus Sakura included, she ended up rather nicely portrayed even though the writer hates her ^^, and that fic also had a really nice portrayal of Hanabi and the likes, the Logical Conclusion I think. I think it's a nice reading just for that, being able to paint all the characters instead of centering around two).

6. Hmm... I'm also not a fan of "let's have as many pairings as possible!11!" fics. The ones who have NaruHina/SasuSaku/ShikaIno/NejiTen in their summaries. Simply put, they end up rarely developing Any of the pairings, just assume that they're together. =\ Fortunately, I don't read any fic with that in the summary, and feel much better now for it.  So it's actually not a pet peeve, since I ignore it. >.>

Well, I'm also not fond of yaoi. I have nothing specifically against them, they're just "not my type". If yaoi gets mentioned in a fic then I really don't care much, but I won't specifically seek one out. As such, I just skim over any fic with the "yaoi" mention, so they're not even a pet peeve of mine. For the above-mentioned pet-peeves though, sometimes you're not sure until you've actually read it, and some are from my Previous bad experiences, though I've since learned to avoid many of them. Ah well. Oh yeah, another pet peeve:

7. Well damn, there are an increasing number of badly-written NejiHinas now.  There used to be few of them, but wonderfully portrayed in their own way. Since then it's gone "mainstream", with the bad fics to boot, and there's no way for me to "automatically" avoid them. Bah. Ah well, it's worse with NaruHina, and at least I avoid practically all of them now for good measure (only good NaruHina I've ever read is "Hinata's story". Ironically enough though, because Sakura isn't portrayed as a bitch, it doesn't make the NaruSaku pairing for example seem disbelievable at all, it just had Naruto somewhat slowly stop chasing Sakura, though without specific reasons, certainly not the "bitch dumped me for the millionth time" reason >.>)

I think that's it for now. ^^ Bad grammar etc: strangely enough, most fics I look into have fine grammar, but I might just be lucky.



> And this people, is why I stopped reading CU (or OU) fics


Hmm. Most AUs Are crap. But there are a few gems of litterary works lying around. The two I've found and really liked are:
- , by SaturnOola, which gives off this wonderful juxtaposition of the surreal and the banal imo, which is just great. It's funny too. X'D 
- , by Snow Tigra, recced to me by Sariachan. Whoa, Gaara's mother is as creepy as Sadako from Ringu. o_o

Edit: Found another pet peeve.

8. Announced Flashbacks. As in, the following format:
_Character Z is thinking about X and Y.
[flashback]
blablabla
[/end flashback]_
Yes, complete with the Tags. What for? There are ways to announce past events Without yelling to the world "ZOMG! I'm doing Flashback no jutsu! \.o_o.\ |.o_o.| /.o_o./" The past tense, for example. u__u


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## Therahedwig (Jan 6, 2006)

> 7. Well damn, there are an increasing number of badly-written NejiHinas now. There used to be few of them, but wonderfully portrayed in their own way. Since then it's gone "mainstream", with the bad fics to boot, and there's no way for me to "automatically" avoid them. Bah. Ah well, it's worse with NaruHina, and at least I avoid practically all of them now for good measure (only good NaruHina I've ever read is "Hinata's story". Ironically enough though, because Sakura isn't portrayed as a bitch, it doesn't make the NaruSaku pairing for example seem disbelievable at all, it just had Naruto somewhat slowly stop chasing Sakura, though without specific reasons, certainly not the "bitch dumped me for the millionth time" reason >.>)



And this is where I'm going to start my guide in succesfully avoiding crapfic:

Right now I'm at Fanfiction.net, and with the age filter on all ages I'm picking the first fic in the list. Which happens to be:
"Destiny for Each Other" by 'sasusaku14'
Summanary:





> Sasuke came back to Konoha for a certain pinkhaired kunoichi



Now here's where we start:
*1. The title*
"Destiny for Each Other"
Not to mention that the title is truly cliched, it's also grammatically incorrect.
First of all, It's supossed to be 'Destined', and second of all, we write 'eachother' without the space and extra capital letters.

*2. The summanary:*


> Sasuke came back to Konoha for a certain pinkhaired kunoichi


First of all, 'a certain <insert simple discription of character>' is a big no-no in summanaries, and the only people who use it are fanbrats and crappy romance films/novels.
Second of all, Sasuke just returns for HER?
What happend to that bloody brother of his, or Orochimaru for that sake?

I don't know how you feel, but I have defined this as not worth my reading.

But anyway, we'll continue:
*3. First chapter*



> It was afternoon and it was getting dark, sakura was walking home after training with the fifth hokage. Suddenly she stopped because she sense a powerful chakra behind her.?Whose there?? Sakura said while she pick out her kunai in her pocket and position herself in battle mode.? Come out now! I don?t want to hurt you or fight you? Sakura shouted. Sakura saw a dark figure getting closer to her. She move backward as the dark figure move closer to her.


Hurray for sucky grammar!



> ?Don?t you recognize me?? The voice said as he smirked.
> 
> ?Sasuke-kun?.? She said ??is that you?? She continued.
> 
> As the dark figure move closer to her it reveals his face. A young man the same as sakura?s age but older in months. He has a raven hair, onyx eyes, a handsome face wearing black shirt and short.


We know how Sasuke looks like, thankyou... 

And thus, after only skimming the summanary, I can see that this fic is not worth my time.

(And I really want to stress that I just picked the first fic from the FF.net list, I did not choose this fic out of grudge or to hummiliate the author specifically.)


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## Popsoda (Jan 6, 2006)

Personally? Ignoring the wonderful world of Grammar. The Paragraph is you're friend. Use it. Also, spelling, Mary-Sues and bloody High-School fics. So far I've only read one enjoyable one, and that was out a cess-pool of thousands.


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## Mizura (Jan 6, 2006)

Therahedwig said:
			
		

> And this is where I'm going to start my guide in succesfully avoiding crapfic:


Oy, trust me, I know how to look out for those as well. Though some summaries and titles are So bad that I can't help but take a look. For example, I once came across a fic titled "endless sorrow". Come on now. What kind of a crappy cheesy title is That? ;_;

Then there are the summaries that make me laugh my head off. There was something in the likes of... (not entirely this, but close enough)

"Naruto has Hinata. Shikamaru has Ino. Neji and (someone) want Sakura. Sakura wants Sasuke. Sasuke comes back, and now, Sasuke wants her."

*blinks*

*roflmfao*

(didn't read it though)

The ones with too bad grammar: I twitch a bit, then I go read another fic.


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## Kitty (Jan 7, 2006)

Wow, there is too much - I could literally rant forever on this. Ignoring the obvious (Mary Sues, Poor Grammar, Slow/Nonexistant updates, Cheesiness, No Plot) there are some deal enders for me that don't seem to nag most people:


*"I Suck at Summaries"*
Why the fuck would you tell me that? If you're incapable of constructing a paragraph worth of compelling reading then why would I be interested in reading an entire story written by you?


*Drastically altering characters by aging them a few years*
You know the type - imposing a 3 year timeskip and having Hinata grow 10x more confident, beatiful and stronger than she was before because the writer is incapable of writing a romance fic using Hinata's canon personality? This is typically why I loathe most Het fics. They all seem to follow this generic formula no matter the personalities of those involved.

*
Mpreg/Gender Switching/Overly Feminine Male Character*
It's insulting and a cop-out. If you're uncomfortable writing yaoi or yuri then don't! It isn't "edgy" or cool to write yaoi if it's boring and comes off like a coupling from the O.C. Write a het couple instead and save both of us the torture.

-Emotional Rollercoastering
-Condensed series of events (I.E, having X character fall out of love, be gang-raped, mourn the attack and then fall in love with previously overlooked best friend...all in 2 hours.)
-No Character Devolopment, too plot driven.


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## wingsover (Jan 7, 2006)

(looks around, applauds) So much truth condensed into a single thread. 

Here are my own redflags when it comes to Naruto fiction summaries:
*
1) Internet Slang *

When valuable summary space is taken up by such witticisms as LOL and OMG I immediately veer away from the link. If they can't be bothered to use complete words in their summaries, why should I assume the actual fic will be any better. Let's pluck a random example from the ff.net pages, shall we: 

_"Sweet Harmony by Soul-Rebirth

    I couldn't think of I title... So this... Ah! nvm... R&Rplz... I know i'm a noob... but hey... lol... Sakura is kidnapped by Itachi and who helped Itachi? None other than Uchiha Sasuke, the one she loves. Read to find out more..."
_
No. No, I don't think I will read to find out more.

*2) Forecasting My Reaction*

You know what I mean. _"You'll die laughing." "You'll cry" "It's the most funniest thing you will ever read."_ Once I see that, I can usually assume that the opposite of what they mean will occur, unless they mean I will laugh (or cry) at their presumption that their horrible attempts at fiction could induce any honest emotion. 

3) Any summaries with the words High School involved.

No comment.

Oh, there are more...I mean, I skim over 85% of fics on ff.net and am wary of about half of those I do read, but lots of them have been covered already. (Man, it's been hard to write this without the use of the slash or question mark key...damn faulty keyboard)


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## TheVileOne (Jan 7, 2006)

I don't have a big problem with altering Hinata's personality after a timeskip.

Some people do change drastically in that amount of time.


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## Mizura (Jan 7, 2006)

> I don't have a big problem with altering Hinata's personality after a timeskip.
> 
> Some people do change drastically in that amount of time.


Yeah, like Gaara. He went all soft.


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## Therahedwig (Jan 8, 2006)

Meh said:
			
		

> Yeah, like Gaara. He went all soft.


Well, he was already a lot softer during the 'Sasuke takes a walk' arc, then he was during his first appearance. Bit bitter, but he wasn't that much of a psygopath anymore...


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## Insomniac43 (Jan 8, 2006)

Uchihacest. *barfs* Ignoring the fact that it IS i*c*st (which is creepy), there is also something profoundly wrong about Sasuke getting it on with the person who he hates most in his life. And he always gets potrayed as a soft, imature, crybaby, which is completely contrary to his character.


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## Therahedwig (Jan 8, 2006)

Insomniac43 said:
			
		

> Uchihacest. *barfs* Ignoring the fact that it IS i*c*st (which is creepy), there is also something profoundly wrong about Sasuke getting it on with the person who he hates most in his life. And he always gets potrayed as a soft, imature, crybaby, which is completely contrary to his character.


Well...completly contrary?

It's the OoC Itachi that bugs me most...


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## Insomniac43 (Jan 8, 2006)

Sasuke is a cold, serious, ((seemingly)) emoitionless person. See? Contrary to the nth degree.


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## Therahedwig (Jan 8, 2006)

Insomniac43 said:
			
		

> Sasuke is a cold, serious, ((seemingly)) emoitionless person. See? Contrary to the nth degree.


Well, not really, if he gets emotional(usually because of his brother) he tends to be a bit immature.

Y'now, when he left the village, he was rather jalous of naruto's progress and was also very immature about it(it felt like that to me) but that could be because of tsuki-yomi and the cursed seal, but still...

Aside from that, I want to stress I'm not a hater of him...


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## Ill_Ame (Jan 10, 2006)

One of my largest peeves is the fact that there are many people who won?t give a fanfic a chance due to its subject matter.  Here?s why: if a fic is well-written ? meaning decent grammar, spelling, word choice, syntax, dialogue, plot, characters? personalities and reactions ? the things that the plot revolves around dwindle in importance.

And now some specifics (sometimes it?s not the subject I?m bringing up, but the way it?s handled that annoys me):

1)*OOC* ? As someone who became attracted to the Naruto manga largely for its array of characters, I think that this is my largest peeve.  There are too many times when a character is horribly mutilated because an author does not understand diverse personality no jutsu.   I can understand slight alterations for an AU fic, if the character?s background is changed.  The only other time I?ll tolerate this is in crack fics, but that usually only works if the character?s thoughts alone are contrary to the norm while their actions remain the same.  This ties in with the second point I?m going to make.

2)*Pairings* ? I can?t tell you how many times I?ve seen a community with the words ?no yaoi or yuri? proudly displayed in its description or how many times I?ve heard people say that yaoi fics are spamming ff.net and it?s driving them insane (hell, just look at the comments in this thread).  The catch here is that this is really just a case of discrimination.  The fact that a fic contains same sex relationships does not automatically make it inferior, and there is no reason to immediately reject a fic just because it has yaoi or yuri in the summary (unless you?re homophobic).  There may be very many badly written yaoi/yuri fics, but so is the case with the ones containing het pairings as well.  Additionally, the way some people can complain that yaoi is "not canon" while shipping some obscure pairing like SasuHina stuns me.  The fact remains that the purpose of fanfiction is to explore different paths than the ones the author took.  If everybody tried to stick to canon, it would be boring and pointless.  Additionally, while I don't expect any of the characters to suddenly come out of the closet, there are more than enough hints to all sorts of sexual preferences and there is such a thing as bisexuality, so there's really nothing to prove that yaoi or yuri is not canon.  The main problem with pairings is when they are unrealistic.  If you?re going to write something about Hinata and Gaara becoming a couple, I want to see a realistic reason why they should meet, how they get to know each other better, and I need to understand why in bloody hell they?re attracted to each other.  Most importantly of all, _keep them in character_.  Most of the males in the Narutoverse are not about to spout off the words ?I love you? lightly or frequently, if at all.  If you want to put Naruto and Sasuke in a relationship, it shouldn?t be rainbows and sunshine.  And Neji, Gaara, Sasuke, Itachi, and others like them will not automatically become loving partners to whoever they are chosen to be paired with.  If you want them to be, you need to put in a lot of growth to show how they reach that point, and even then maintain the facets of their original character.  It may be hard work, but if these rules are followed, the most obscure of pairings can be readable and even enjoyable.

3)*KakaIru* ? Okay, okay, I know I covered pairings already, but I felt this one was such an eyesore that it needed its own category.  I realize that there is a huge fanbase for this pairing, so I?m probably offending a lot of people right now, but I just don?t understand where the craze came from.  These guys have spoken, what, two words to each other?  And while I think their personalities are fascinating to pair up and play around with, it needs to be done in a believable and tasteful fashion and it needs to be done less often.  There is no excuse for the number of times I?ve seen this pairing taken practically for granted.

4)*OCs* ? Use of an OC to move the fic?s plot forward is understandable ? after all, there are other people in the Naruto world than the characters Kishimoto has focused on and, especially if they?re traveling, it?s understandable that the main cast will encounter a few new people once in a while.  Once these new people become major players, however, problems begin to arise.  I thrive on character interaction, and I love Kishimoto?s characters so much that when I read fanfiction, I want to be reading about them.  I easily become bored when the fic is focusing on some random creation who I can?t bring myself to care about or even learn more about.  The moment where I rip my hair out in horror is when a romance starts up between a main character and an OC.  That?s just plain annoying, and I don?t think I need to explain to anyone here why.

5)*Spelling* ? I can excuse the occasional typo, though I do think that every author should put in the effort to look over his work at least once after writing it, but what bothers me immensely is repeated misspelling of terms specific to, or used frequently in, the Naruto manga.  Example that first comes to mind: chakra.  There are far too many people who write ?charka? instead.  Now, this could have to do with the fact that Microsoft Word?s spellcheck registers the latter spelling, but still, it?s gets really bothersome.  And if someone?s spelling a character?s name wrong, then it?s just ridiculous.  It shouldn?t be too hard to take the time to look up anything you?re unsure about.

6)*Filler* ? I know there are a lot of people who only watch the anime.  I?m not trying to be hard on them, but when I read a fic that mentions an event that was purely filler, or goes on an assumption that was only established in the anime, I get annoyed.  I don?t care if Kishimoto collaborated with this stuff, it still doesn?t seem canon enough to be considered hard fact.

7)*Pacing* ? This is a piece of advice for any piece of writing really, but I thought I?d bring it up.  This may be a reason, other than time constraints, why those massive 40 chapter fics don?t go over too well.  If a plot?s speed is slow to nonexistent, a fic can die pretty quickly.  This goes the opposite way as well, however.  Sometimes, things move too fast, often resulting in a bland and flat listing of facts and a lack of development for the characters.

Continued


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## Ill_Ame (Jan 10, 2006)

8)*Humor* ? Bad humor is fanfic poison.  I happen to live for crack, but it?s a brand of comedy that can very easily become stupid, exaggerated, and far from amusing.  Of course, there?s not much that authors can do to change or improve this, as they obviously believe that their work is humorous, but it?s a good idea to stay away from excessive exaggeration, complete personality rape, and childish comedy.

9)*Author?s Notes/Reviewer Responses* ? I don?t want to bash these too much, as I have a tendency to go overboard in these things too.  The main idea here is that most people want to read the fanfic instead of read about it.  If a note must be included, try to keep it to a warning if there?s anything to warn readers of, and anything truly and vastly important that must be announced.  As for review responses, they actually serve as motivation for reviewers.  I would say that if an author is going to do this, keep it at the end of the fic and try to only answer questions that all readers might be wondering about.  Otherwise, there?s a little thing called email that is grossly underused but that happens to be a requirement when signing up for an account on fanfiction.net and should be found on most profile pages.

10)*Abandonment* ? I?ve done this myself, so I know I?m being hypocritical, but it really is cruel to just give up on a fanfic that you know people are enjoying.  I realize that there are times when complications come up and I by no means expect weekly updates ? quality over quantity ? but there have been many times when I?ve become utterly captivated by a story only to discover that it?s remained unfinished and untouched for over a year.

11)*Stale Writing* ? As interesting as it is in theory, try not to write a scene from the manga in fanfic form unless it?s absolutely necessary and it doesn?t go on for too long.  The readers (hopefully) already know what happened; reading it again is boring and redundant.  Also, clich?d pairings, settings, and ideas are all right as long as you add something unique to make it your own, whether it be in the form of style, a plot twist, or something else you can come up with.  You don?t want a fic to come off as a carbon copy of twenty others.

12)*Preferential Treatment* ? There are several different categories within this one, but they all have to do with some form of favoritism towards a character.  The first ? don?t make anyone grossly overpowered.  None of these characters is a god, they all have to work hard in certain cases, and none of them are perfect.  The second ? character bashing.  If you don?t like a character and don?t think you can write them realistically, leave them out of your fic altogether.  Including a character just to make them look bad is petty and ruins any semblance of reality.  Even if you don?t like a character, you should keep in mind that they still have a personality, things that make them tick, and you have to stay true to that.  And three ? character torture.  Depending on the author and style of ?torture?, this can be either negative or positive favoritism.  A note ? I think it?s safe to say that all of the Naruto characters have had some form of crappy past.  There?s no reason to play up something like this and make it seem as if one character alone has endured all the suffering in the world.  Example, Naruto may have been hated as a child, but nobody went around raping him in alleys.  Additionally, don?t allow one character to constantly endure injuries, having an overload of problems, while the rest of them carry on merrily without a care in the world.

13)*The Readers* ? When you read a fanfic, review it.  If you don?t have the time, go back to it later when you do.  Because either you enjoyed it ? in which case a review is a good way to thank the author, or you didn?t ? in which case it would be good to tell the author why.  In reviews, it?s okay to encourage updates, but please also put in at least one specific comment as to why exactly you want it updated.  What do you like about the author?s style, plot, interpretation of characters? Even a specific scene or line that jumped out at you is sufficient.  It makes the review much more personal and a lot more fun to receive.  Also, just because you like something doesn?t mean it?s perfect.  If you spot a thing you don?t like (think along the lines of the peeves I?ve listed rather than a pairing decision or the direction the plot is heading; never try to dictate the direction of a story unless an author asks you to), constructively state what it is.  Same goes for a fanfic you don?t like.  If that?s the case, the author?s going to continue to make the same mistakes unless you give them polite advice.  Flames are, frankly, unnecessary and ineffective.  They come off sounding unintelligent and the author is unlikely to listen to you if you?re cruel.

There?s probably a couple other things I?m missing, but I think that covers the basics.  Hope this was helpful...


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## wingsover (Jan 11, 2006)

I haven't read the rest of your posts - which I will, I think it looks interesting and well thought out - but I'd like to address the second item, the one about 'no yaoi or yuri' in the summary. 

I don't think that yaoi or yuri make a fic worse. Actually I think that in the Naruto fanfic world, more really well-written epics are yaoi rather than not. (I have a theory about that, but anyway) But I also think that there's quite a lot of shoddy yaoi fiction, as well as het. I think I'm rambling off topic now, so I'll just say that I appreciate the warnings. 

Actually I have read several nicely-written yaoi fics, but isn't it true that sometimes people just want to read for the pairings they want. I think of them as labels to be helpful, not as boasts. If someone does not want to read  yaoi - or, if they hate het pairings - isn't that helpful for them to have the usual warnings in the summary.

And yes, I think badly-written yaoi fics are spamming ff.net. That's not slamming yaoi because it's yaoi, it's slamming the fangirls who spawn this tripe. The same holds true for Mary Sues spamming ff.net and strange, saccharine het fics. MOST of ff.net is spam-quality, IMHO.


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## Kitty (Jan 11, 2006)

TheVileOne said:
			
		

> I don't have a big problem with altering Hinata's personality after a timeskip.
> 
> Some people do change drastically in that amount of time.




You don't go from shy and introverted to wisecracking, sarcastic heartbreaker in 3 years. That is what I'm talking about. Of course people mature; they don't, however, have personality transplants.


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## Dead on Arrival (Jan 11, 2006)

I have two new ones.

First, writers giving the Rasengan multiple stages beyond what Jiraiya described and Naruto mastered, all because of a terrible translation.  You then have retards in the reviews saying my friend told me that the fifth stage is such and such.  Idiots, don't invent shit and claim it as canon.  If you need to give him new techniques, make them new!  The lack of originality when it comes to jutsu is heartbreaking.

Second, claiming your fic is researched in the summary when I can read the first paragraph and see your research consisted of reading a handful of the first fics on FF.net.  You shouldn't need to claim to have researched something you are going to be writing about.  I know cars and computers, but beyond the basics I know nothing about motorcycles.  If I needed to write about motorcycles I would go research them, just like I expect someone writing about Naruto to actually know about Naruto!  It is a simple concept, but the majority of fic writers simply don't know the verse they are writing about.


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## Therahedwig (Jan 12, 2006)

Yes, but the fangirls can't:
1. think.
2. realise there's more then canon characters that is canon.
3. research.

I have to beta for one of these girls...
She wrote with wonky sentences, which are nearly uncipherable due the bad grammar and spelling, also there was mary sueism and self-insertism on top of it, with it was a jutsu what combined fire with shadow jutsu making a black flame...
I fear the time I have to explain to her that Nauto's magic system isn't like that of Sailor moon or whatever...

The naruto world is full of so much possibillities and things you can explore, yet all that is writting is pairing-fic or Bash-fic, with a few genfic that are mostly mediocre. (Yes, I have read ripple effect, and there should be more fics like that really, because most genfic are even not that intresting because of the sheer lack of character denvelopement.)


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## Insomniac43 (Jan 14, 2006)

I have a new one. Have you ever read those fics where the athour puts himself/herself into the mangamie (my new favortie word!) universe, or viceversa? I hate that. I mean, I _LOATHE_ it. it completely defeats the pupose of fanfiction, which was, as wonderfully worded by Ill_Ame, "to explore different paths than the ones the author took". I SINCERLY doubt that any paths would dump a half-crazed fangirl and Co. into the mangamie-verse, or charcters into the real world so said half-crazed fangirl and Co. could toy with them.


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## TheVileOne (Jan 15, 2006)

Mary Sues and self-insertions are lame.


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## OniTasku (Jan 15, 2006)

I've usually strongly disliked when people included original characters to embody their own self which killed the story. By that I mean the character would be very out-of-character and the fanfiction just wouldn't connect very well.

I also hate when people just take on the characters name, use it in a fanfiction without even doing a decent job on the characters portrayal (ie: speech-wise, body langauge-wise, etc...). I really hate those...


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## TheVileOne (Jan 15, 2006)

That or the original character is very...uber.


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## mr_yenz (Jan 15, 2006)

Therahedwig said:
			
		

> Yes, but the fangirls can't:
> 1. think.
> 2. realise there's more then canon characters that is canon.
> 3. research.
> ...




I have the same problem betaing some fnagirl's fic... and I don't really know how to break it to her...


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## Mizura (Jan 15, 2006)

> I have the same problem betaing some fnagirl's fic... and I don't really know how to break it to her...


Point her to this thread, claiming that it's a thread that says what people like (and don't), then run for cover.


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## mr_yenz (Jan 15, 2006)

Meh said:
			
		

> Point her to this thread, claiming that it's a thread that says what people like (and don't), then run for cover.


 That would be a (good) idea.

I have this really long letter written showing all my opinions on the fic (I think I started a rant in it too) and stuff. Maybe I should send that to her.


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## Lackey_H (Jan 15, 2006)

Ill_Ame said:
			
		

> 10)*Abandonment* ? I?ve done this myself, so I know I?m being hypocritical, but it really is cruel to just give up on a fanfic that you know people are enjoying.  I realize that there are times when complications come up and I by no means expect weekly updates ? quality over quantity ? but there have been many times when I?ve become utterly captivated by a story only to discover that it?s remained unfinished and untouched for over a year.



*Grovels* Forgive me! Forgive me for I have committed this most heinous of crimes not once, but twice! *grovels*

(okay, so some people might claim Idid it four times, but dammit, there are two Ihaven't abandoned! just... delayed... a long time... yeah... ... ... ... Ill shut up now, before i make this look worse.)


I suppose the problem with abandonment is why it happens. If someone dies half-way through writing a fic (and this has happened, it'd be stupid to claim otherwise) then there's not much you can say about it. On the other hand, if a fic got abandoned because a writer 'got bored' with it, then that's an entirely different point and they should probably bepunished with FIRE! (Burn baby, BURN!)

So why did i abandon two of my fics (Betrothal and To Be strong)? To be strong stopped because, at the time, Betrothal had this sudden spurt of shocking popularity and growth o.O which to someone who'd never seriously written anything longer than a school essay (about 2,000 words ish) was... cary as all hell. XD So i ended up diverting more time than i should have to Betrothal, at the expense of To be Strong... which i know now was a hideous mistake.

So why did Betrothal die? Well... it hasn't exactly. What happened was, one day, for some unknown reason, I sat and read it through from end to end and came to the conclusion that... This wasn't what I had wanted to write. Somewhere I had drifted horribly off course and had also made some major continuity errors (and even forgot about plot points I had prepped way earlier! madness!)

Some time later I was prompted to post up something i'd messed around with to a large extent (Tenten's bizzare Adventure) and i realized that this was a sudden milestone for me in a number of ways - it was the first bit of writing i'd put up in ages, it was also the single longest piece of writing i'd ever done - the chapter weighing in at over 10,000 words (Betrothal usually hit around 4,000 words a chapter, with one maxing out at around 7,000).

Then I went to university. XD I'm not gonna dwell on that but, suffice to say, after countless essays I didn't have much joy for writing anything left.

*Sigh* What i'm saying is that somewhere along the line everything fell apart... and thus fics got abandoned. It's like this for a lot of the more serious fic authors i suspect, someting sparks off a chain of events that, to be honest, leave fanfic writing right at the bottom of the 'to do' list of life.
Not naming any names, i know a few writers who stopped due to flaming e-mails which boredered on the abusive (and this was a fairly respected writer - I can pretty much garantee you've read at least one of their fics) So, sometimes, abandonment isn't so much the writer's fault as it is that of those few people who insist on ruining things for others.

... I guess that's my rambling story for the day... maybe something of intrest is in there... (But i doubt it XD)


Oh... and for those wondering why I actually decided abandoning Betrothal was a good plan... Well. it seemed a bit pointless to keep moving something I was going to re-write from scratch. XD I don't know when it'll happen, but given that I no longer have to worry about a dissertation/thesis come february, I'm guessing the wait shouldn't be too long.


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## Therahedwig (Jan 15, 2006)

Insomniac43 said:
			
		

> I have a new one. Have you ever read those fics where the athour puts himself/herself into the mangamie (my new favortie word!) universe, or viceversa? I hate that. I mean, I _LOATHE_ it. it completely defeats the pupose of fanfiction, which was, as wonderfully worded by Ill_Ame, "to explore different paths than the ones the author took". I SINCERLY doubt that any paths would dump a half-crazed fangirl and Co. into the mangamie-verse, or charcters into the real world so said half-crazed fangirl and Co. could toy with them.


It's illegal in the TOS of ff.net too, so if you find such a fic, report it...
(Really, that tos does some wonders...)


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## Salo (Jan 19, 2006)

but people still do that in the forms of Mary Sues/Gary Stus or making a character that is based on themselves...  I agree with a lot of things said here.  But I do find it funny how it comes down to the fan_girl_'s fault.
Is 'fangirl' a term meaning anybody, boy or girl, who commit these crimes?  Or is it just a fact that these fanfic criminals are all girls?  -_-;;;


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## Therahedwig (Jan 19, 2006)

Salo said:
			
		

> but people still do that in the forms of Mary Sues/Gary Stus or making a character that is based on themselves...  I agree with a lot of things said here.  But I do find it funny how it comes down to the fan_girl_'s fault.
> Is 'fangirl' a term meaning anybody, boy or girl, who commit these crimes?  Or is it just a fact that these fanfic criminals are all girls?  -_-;;;


Well, it used to be the girl, but lately Fangirl and Fanboy have a special meaning:

Fanboy is someone who is constantly screaming around that Sasuke/Itachi/other cool character is TEH UBERPOWRERFUL! but has no argumentation to back this up, and is basicly a moron that doesn't know what (s)he's talking about...

Fangirl however is only intrested in pairing the bishis with eachother or the mary-sues.
There's a more general term for them: Fanbrats...
Also, there is a difference between the brats and the real fangirls who respect canon, as the latter can actually be really pleasant people, while the first are brats who don't listen to you if you say it might not be a good idea to use aolspeak in fiction...


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## Salo (Jan 19, 2006)

well, there we go then!  Fanbrats they are!  Fangirls are responsible for the excessive yaoi stories and fanboys are responsible for the Naruto turned Gary Stu stories-- though I think the fanboys are more common in the forums, no?

As for my fanfic pet peeve... I think this definitely goes to other anime/manga genres than just Naruto.  Harry Potter crossovers.  The bad ones, I mean, where Naruto/whoever goes to Hogwarts to basically show off and become a sort of Gary Stu or something.  Or just going at all.  Or even having Hogwarts existing in an improbable timeline.

I know HP is considered great crossover material, but... I feel that it's become great bashing material, great 'review' material, great overused material.  Ah well....  But I'll admit that there are few good ones.


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## TokehGecko (Jan 19, 2006)

Yeah, I agree, Abandonment!! *nods*

Lackey H!! I read your post, but still... hehe.
SOC Puppet, where'd he go, neway?
PPS, Perfect Psionic Soldier? 

Fact is, Authors of Fanfiction usually are... very, extremely... very, extremely lazy.

I also hate...

Yaoi, Male Pregnancy, Major OOCness, Yaoi, Ficswithnoemptyspacesanywhere, Mary Sues, SIs, Yaoi, HP-Naru Crossovers, Yaoi, and many more...

Ah well...


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## Kyasurin (Jan 21, 2006)

Okay, I was reading some fanfics a few months ago, and one caught my attention. The summary was awesome, and the first few chapters were really interesting.
Then, Sakura was paired with Gaara. I was kinda shocked, but whatever, I kept reading.
Then Sasuke came in. But something was strange. The author kept saying "she" when referring to Sasuke. I thought it was a typo...but then Sasuke was making out with Neji!! In the authors note at the end, she was like "how do you like the Neji/Girl Sasuke pairing?"
I was apalled. How can you possibly think of ruining a good character by making them the opposite gender?!?! There's my biggest pet peeve. Thank god not so many people actually do this.
Plus any Yaoi/Yuri/i*c*st pairings that I come across.


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## Grumman (Jan 22, 2006)

DiE_bY_mY_kUnAi said:
			
		

> Then Sasuke came in. But something was strange. The author kept saying "she" when referring to Sasuke. I thought it was a typo...but then Sasuke was making out with Neji!! In the authors note at the end, she was like "how do you like the Neji/Girl Sasuke pairing?"
> I was apalled. How can you possibly think of ruining a good character by making them the opposite gender?!?! There's my biggest pet peeve. Thank god not so many people actually do this.


I agree the people who write these opposite gender fics are idiots. Even if Sasuke was a female, 'she' would still have more important things to worry about than romance, and 'she' would be dedicating 'her' life to the same objective that canon-Sasuke does. And even if 'she' attracted unwanted fanboys like canon-Sasuke does fangirls, Neji wouldn't be one of them.


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## Omolara (Jan 22, 2006)

Orochimaru snake-speak. The man does not freakin hiss, nor does he elongate "s" sounds. Manda does not do that either. If anything, he rolls his r's ("ra,ri,ru,and ro" syllables) in that tough guy talk. 
If a character stutters a japanese name, please use the syllable and not just the first letter. It's okay until you end up with Hinata going "N-N-N-N-Narut-t-t-to k-k-k-k-un..." That is f***ing ANNOYING! You can't even do that in English without a vowel following it!


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## Therahedwig (Jan 23, 2006)

Grumman said:
			
		

> I agree the people who write these opposite gender fics are idiots. Even if Sasuke was a female, 'she' would still have more important things to worry about than romance, and 'she' would be dedicating 'her' life to the same objective that canon-Sasuke does. And even if 'she' attracted unwanted fanboys like canon-Sasuke does fangirls, Neji wouldn't be one of them.


Unfortunatly for most of you, Kiba and Naruto would be! (unfortunatly, all the Sasunaru ones only sexy-no-jutsu Sasuke... Idiots...)

On a side note, why are there still two konoha fanworks? As a matter of fact, why aren't all the sticky's of the previous forum moved here?


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## mr_yenz (Jan 24, 2006)

- The OC  is part of Team 7, rips InuYasha off in names, ascessories and clothing, steals Kakashi and Sakura's lines, is a Mary-Sue, and hates Sasuke and Itachi for some reason when the summary states Sasuke x OC. And it's blantly obvious she didn't research or re-watch the episodes, so she just wrote whatever she remember, a.k.a. came out the top of her head. 

Did I mention that the characters are OoC? Yes, that too. Kakashi 

Oh, and she wrote "ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!", "In a ninja's world, True nins seek hidden meanings within hidden meanings" and . Clearly she doesn't really watch/read Naruto, she just perves on Sasuke.  

...I skipped to what is supposed to be the "second last chapter." She is going to die, and before she does so, tells Kakashi not to cry, she says "You and the rest of the team are one tough bunch. I can die happy".

Lemme guess... she's gonna make him cry for plot's sake. And "Sango" insults Kakashi a lot in the first few chapters and she expects him to cry for her? WTF?!

There's a LOT more things I could complain about, but you can just see them for yourself.  

...I dare you people to read the whole thing and PM me the results. Do it, I dare ya.


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## Artificial_Sunshine (Jan 25, 2006)

This probably has been said before, but what I 'hate' most about Naruto fanfictions (and this also applies to fanfictions in general) are stories that start off decent, but somehow turn into a yaoi/lemon  

Not that I am narrow minded, In fact I am a very liberal person, but I just don't get (or understand) the desire to take two male canon characters and pair them up. 

One of my best friends is an avid IrukaXKakashi fangirl. I usually avoid bringing up the subject of pairings, but I still feel as if I am missing something.  Maybe I will never get it...

I read somewhere that fanfiction is the wishes of a viewer/reader/etc. about a character expressed in the form of writing.  If that is true, then well, imagine people's  desire/thoughts about real people. :S (Though Brad Pitt making out with Ben Affleck does sound hot...)

Hehe, that was just my two cents.


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## Devil King Sanji (Jan 25, 2006)

Here it goes:
-Naruto is on par with Itachi, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, etc.
-Itachi was a "spy"
-Jiraiya Training yet can fight Sandaime
-Hinata slaps Sakura (WTF!?)
-Naruto is the leader of a group after he returns from training
-AUs where Naruto makes his own village
-Kyuubi is a girl (WTF!?)
-Kyuubi was controlled by a Genjutsu and secretly loved the Village

The list goes on and on but.. quick question:

Anyone know some good updated fics?


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## Therahedwig (Jan 26, 2006)

Cursed Raikage said:
			
		

> -Kyuubi is a girl (WTF!?)
> -Kyuubi was controlled by a Genjutsu and secretly loved the Village


Well, I first supported female!kyuubi, but now I just assume Kyuubi transforms into the gender of choice, and is more intrested into manipulating people into oblivion then having sex with anyone...(After all these years it probarly forgot it's own gender anyway...)

That said, databook 2 has a nice picture of kyuubi, where he/she/it has no package...



> Not that I am narrow minded, In fact I am a very liberal person, but I just don't get (or understand) the desire to take two male canon characters and pair them up.



Well, there are the people who say it's just hot, but there are also the people who think it's fun to explore the characters of the relationship.

For me it's kinda both; there's this huge appeal to read about how two characters come to an understanding.

This brings me to another peeve of mine, which might be a bit silly:

*Ignoring all others*
When there's a romance fic going on, that every other relation besides the romance is completly ignored...(Aside from canon love intrest bashing...)


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## Therahedwig (Feb 14, 2006)

Sorry for the double post, but I also kinda want to bump this one:

*Leave the godamn cat alone*
Seriously, every bloody fangirlthinks she has to be using the cat mission over!
There are more freaking D-ranked missions that the godamn cat catching...


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## ExAzrael (Feb 17, 2006)

Red Viking said:
			
		

> 1. 'Please make this a suchandsuch fic!' - My biggest fanfic pet peeve.  In nearly every review I read, there's at least 5 people who always say: 'Plz make this a Naru/Hina fic!  They're the bestest couple EVER!'  A really, really good writer has already made up his/her mind how the fic will go.  You're not going to change the writer's mind so please, stop asking.
> 
> 2. Yaoi/Yuri - I really dislike yaoi/yuri fics because more often then not, the writer just takes two characters who are clearly not gay and makes them so for no reason at all.  I mean, it's OOC in its biggest form in my opinion.  Now, if it were a series like Gravitation, then I'd have no qualms because it's already an established fact that the main character and his love interest are gay.
> 
> ...



There's my List. Especially number 2.

I just hate OOCness and bad spelling.


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## stardust113 (Feb 24, 2006)

Oh man. Oh, oh, _oh_ man. 

1. When the author describes Sasuke or Neji's eyes in TEMPERATURES. I.E. Neji's cold eyes looked at him; or, Sasuke's ice cold eyes looked at her and suddenly became hot.

2. Ignorance to use spell check. Is it that hard to press the button?

3. The use of Omg, U, Luv, Kewl, and all in all 6 grade AIM language is used.

4. When a story really doesn't deserve as much reviews as it's having. There are PLENTY of Sasuke/Sakura fics that honesty does not deserve 150+ for, oh I don't know, 2 chapters. And in response to that, when stories that DOES deserve many, many more reviews aren't getting them.

5. Flamers, damn you!

6. Yaoi... I have no problem with the whole gay factor but.. Aa... can't bring myself to read it.

7. Too many OC. Granted, a story can be great with OC's but with random people like Toshiru, Hana, Aiko, Kiira, Heiji, Kyo, WHATEVER, _that_ is annoying.

8. Okay, just kidding, OC in general. Especially the ones that are someone's (most usually one of the Uchiha's) long lost sister that has the name consisted of 6 words or more, at least 3 or more mixed blood in them (1/3 pixie, 1/3 mermaid, 1/3 badass), carries some insane weapon that makes any canon weapon look like a peace symbol, slick and shiny hair, some weird colored ORBS (eyes), and whom won't take shit from anyone. I hate you.

9. Rape. It's getting repetitive as hell and it's a weak excuse for a plot.

10. When your story gets added to like, 70 people's alert list and you don't see them reveiwing your stupid fic. GR.


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## superman_1 (Mar 13, 2006)

naruhina fics piss me off so much....same old shit again and again.... hinata confesses her love and naruto falls in love with her at that moment or something like that.. but yeah... naruhina fics annoys me the most.....

flaming, bashing, degrading characters..... remember reading a fic which takes place near the end of the sasuke rescue arc... naruto fails to bring sasuke and dies from sasuke's chidori or something.. kakashi brings naruto's dead body and puts him on the ground in front of the whole village and sakura comes and kicks his dead body hard for breaking the promise and not bringing sasuke back... and hinata who is in love with naruto comes and slaps sakura hard and shouts at her and gives her a cold stare in front of the whole village... ........ seriously who the fuck is stupid enough to write this crap... prob. some naruhina fanboy/girl....

real world crossover... ppl from naruto visiting real countries, attending high school, prom, etc.....

short chapters....

yaoi/yuri fics....

OC.... made up characters... original characters having non existant bros/sis....

everything that Nyarlathotep & TokehGecko said in their first post in this thread.....

also lots of stuff i want to say but dont have time.... its 1:30 am and need to go to sleep....


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## Maes (Mar 13, 2006)

1. My main pet peeve is any pairing that makes no sense.  For example I can see where the SasuNaru fans get it, that's the one Naruto yaoi pairing that I understand where it's coming from, but I can't see where the KakaIru people get their idea from.  It's just like how I don't see how people can pair Sakura with Itachi. 

2. My second pet peeve is any fan fiction in which the evil character actually wasn't evil.  ITACHI IS A PSYCHO KILLER AND DOES NOT WANT TO MAKE SWEET ROSE PETAL LOVE TO SAKURA!!!

3. My third pet peeve is the people who interperet the schoolgirl crushes as love.  Sakura doesn't love Sasuke, Hinata doesn't love Naruto.  Those are crushes, ones that got way out of control, but crushes none the less.  Those are two particular pairings that irritate the hell out of me.

4.  The SasuSaku and NaruHina fans, half of them have no worth and should be wiped off of the face of the earth.  The other half are rational human beings who realize that the likelihood of their fave pairings happening aren't as good as the other half thinks.


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## Kotonoro (Mar 13, 2006)

1) SasuNaru that has Naruto as a wimpering, crying uke. WTF. Have any of these people seen Naruto? He nevers gives up or gives in-if anything, considering that Sasuke's so repressed all the time, it's highly likely that Naruto would initiate most things.

2) Sakura-bashing. So stupid. She's crucial.

3) Hinata fics that completely mess up her character. So she she's shy-she's still mentally strong and a good characte rin her own way. 

4) Uchihacest that's sweet and fluffy-it's a twisted and violent relationship; Itachi would not be a nice partner by any means. 

5) NaruSaku or SasuSaku fics that find it necessary to bash Naruto or Sasuke. 

6) Character bashing. At all. Even Sasuke. Especially Sasuke.

7) Mary Goddamn Sues. And stupid self-inserts.


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## RealaMoreno (Mar 13, 2006)

Maes said:
			
		

> 1. My main pet peeve is any pairing that makes no sense.  For example I can see where the SasuNaru fans get it, that's the one Naruto yaoi pairing that I understand where it's coming from, but I can't see where the KakaIru people get their idea from.  It's just like how I don't see how people can pair Sakura with Itachi.
> 
> 2. My second pet peeve is any fan fiction in which the evil character actually wasn't evil.  *ITACHI IS A PSYCHO KILLER AND DOES NOT WANT TO MAKE SWEET ROSE PETAL LOVE TO SAKURA!!!*
> 
> ...




LMAO..that made me laugh out loud.

I don't have a problem with really anything people have listed so far besides grammar and spelling errors, and when authors that write really good pieces up and leave. Or when the authors decide they're going to go spend the next month or so on another fanfic. I was reading this realllllllly good GaaHinaSasu one and author stopped writing to do another story then eventually just dropped that entire username with all the stories. After that I haven't read a fanfic since.

In all honesty, I don't mind rape scenes and they can make the story better sometimes. I've actually never encountered the "Itachi rapes Sakura then Sakura suddenly falls in love with Itachi" type stories, but from the way everyone puts them, they sound like they suck. The "Itachi rapes Sakura then Sakura seeks revenge" stories are good though.


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## yummysasuke (Mar 13, 2006)

1. Those who can't even spell the characters' names correctly!
2. Those who just leave the story unfinished half way through!
3. All those spelling and grammatic errors!
4. The low level of vocab makes it so childish!
5. Short meaningless chapters!


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## Crys (Mar 15, 2006)

Has Hyuugacest been mentioned?

really...anything that ends in -cest in the Naruto world is bad news....to me at least.


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## Mizura (Mar 15, 2006)

I once came across the weirdest situation once. 

There was this SasuHina fic with an abnormally high number of reviews, apparently positive. So I got curious and took a look. After one chapter, I decided to stop, since even Sasuke's name wasn't spelled correctly, and the whole story was incoherant and rushed. Some time later, the fic got several updates, and Really a lot of reviews for how bad it was, so I got curious again and decided to see if it got better.

Well, apparently, a few chapters into the fic, Itachi came in and raped Hinata out of nowhere (and I DO mean out of nowhere), Hinata got pregnant, Sasuke freaks out, Sasuke's name STILL wasn't spelled correctly, there were "positive" reviews such as "Omg Itachi raped Hinata I can't wait to read the rest this is a good fic!"...

In the end, I decided that the writer had probably summoned all his friends to hype up his fic, or created duplicate ff.net accounts to give positive reviews to himself. Sheesh. =\ By the way, I assure you, the fic itself was worse than I'm making it sound. Bad spelling, bad grammar, things happen out of nowhere...


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## ace448 (Mar 19, 2006)

un orginal would prolly have to be my biggest issue. I like things that are unique and different. i get annoyed at the fics having to deal with the rescue/killing of Sauske or NaruXhina hook ups. Its over done. Also when people dont give a reason for there character being the way they are. IE 2 years post time skip you right a fic about Sakura and shes all depressed and we never find out why. It ruins the polt of story when you dont explaine whats cuase potential character changes


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## Raging_fangirl (Mar 19, 2006)

1. I HATE it when people update every 4-5 months. Then they write a stupid Author's Note to say how sorry they am and that they do it again!!! 

2. Super long author's note. Just a few words will do it, thank you very much

3. I hate it when people write fanfics with no clue about the story line or anything. They just saw maybe two episodes and decided 'Hey, I'll write a fic about it' then they end up getting their personalities all wrong.

4. Spelling the main character's name wrong. How _stupid_ do you have to be to not be able to spell the main character's name right? Especially if it's the name of the anime/show/book!! *coughcoughNarutoandInuyashacoughcough*

5. Some OOC is okay, but it has it's limits. A real tough guy can't just become a sensitive sweet heart.

And that's all I can think of for no -wait

6. Not using proper paragraph structure. It seriously hurts the eyes if the whole chapter is one frigging paragraph. 

OK! Now, I am done


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## wingsover (Apr 15, 2006)

Agreed with all you said, Raging_fangirl, except a little for the first. Of course I want my favorite fics to be updated as much as possible, but I'm also aware that the author is doing this for free, out of her/his own volition, and are really under no obligation to continue or update on a 'schedule'. Isn't this for fun? 

Oh yes, and I'll just toss in a peeve that's been annoying me lately: Rapist fics.


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## Moonraker_One (Apr 15, 2006)

I am a fanauthor at FF.N (penname: Moonraker One), and I have seen my share of bad fanfics (and beta'ed a few back to life as good fics), and I have to tell you that other than the obvious mechanical errors (spelling, grammar, structure, etc), the main problem I come across is _lack of details_!

But my absolute pet peeve is perverted sex styles (yaoi, etc.). Also, lack of original storylines. NaruHina has been done to death. NaruSaku has been done to death. How about something completely off the wall, like NaruTsu, or something? I know it sounds really retarded but for god's sake, let Naruto dance the horizontal mambo with someone original!


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## Abscon (Apr 16, 2006)

Things i Hate:
1. Bad couple fics. Exsample.. Hinata: I love you Naruto..
Naruto (Thinks).. I love you to hinata..They go in and have passionate sex. 
You can make good NaruHina fics still.. Check out Two Halves. Great story.    Recommended.

2. Wierd fics. KakaSaku. Hyuugacest. Uchihacest.  NaruTsu. TsuTonton Etc. WTF?


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## Hidara (Apr 19, 2006)

What irritates me most is the inability to write.  When the reveiw is the only part of a fic that makes sense, I get rather pissed.

Drabble is annoying.  If you have an idea that's good enough to write a story from, please, make it last long enough to be enjoyed.  One shots are ok, but you get a lot more character development out of multi chapter stories.

I also really dislike Naruto or Sasuke as Hokage fics.

Sakura bashing.  It's just stupid.


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## wingsover (Apr 21, 2006)

I don't know if it's okay to start debates here, but I see nothing wrong with drabbles. They're a legitimate form of writing; totally different from multi-chapters. They're short, so word-choice is extremely important. They're like...snapshots, focusing on one specific aspect or event rather than narrating a whole long plotline. Short drabbles - like 100 words, even - can be incredibly brilliant pieces of writing, showcasing a character to great effect.


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## Koanashi (Apr 21, 2006)

1. *Mary Sues.* Since almost everyone else has mentioned these, I don't believe an explanation is necessary.

2. *Huge contradictions to canon* unless it's AU, obviously. A few alterations are fine, as long as it isn't for reasons such as getting a random pairing together or doing something like Sasuke returning to Konoha and no explanation being given what so ever.

3. 85% of all *crossovers* are badly written, and rather clich?. That said, there are some very good crossover fanfics (one that I am currently reading is, ironically, HP/Naruto, contains at least two OCs (not Sues) and made large alterations to current canon (offered explanations), but it works as it is well written and deals with issues such as the language barrier and actually has a good PLOT).

4. 90% of all *AU* are also badly written and clich?, though again there are some exceptions.

5. Fics that contain something along the lines of *'I ate 8 packets of sugar and drank 10 cans of pepsi before I wrote this!'*. Unfortunately, most 'humor' fics have this in their summary. Enough said.

6. *Bad grammar and spelling.* A few errors are fine. And error per sentence is not. Spell check is your friend. I also hate fics that are completely in bold font and in huge block paragraph. Amazingly, this is seen more often than you would think.

7. *Flamers.* Even if everyting above is seen in one fic, that is no excuse to flame. Constructive criticism is always far more helpful, for obvious reasons.

8. *Stroppy fanbrats.* The ones that, despite you greatest efforts to be as nice as possible when criticising the fic, end up spamming your inbox things such as 'ur jus gelus cuz Uchiha Mari-Anna-Clauretta iz sooooo much coola than u!!!!111!!1' for saying that they should may be try to give their OC more flaws or 'OMGZ0rz uz a homofobe!!!!!111!!!' when you merely say that their Konohamaru(seme)/Orochimaru(uke) fic is making the characters act rather *cough*extremely*cough* OOC. You were just trying to help!


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## Anemone (May 26, 2006)

when they all OVER-do Sasuke's personality and give him absoluty NO emotions at all for the majority of the fic.....or they give him too much

and that whole thing written in one fanfic sounded pretty good

terribly crappy grammer

rushed writing that turns the story into crap


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## AoiJounin_Mizu (May 31, 2006)

Hitomi_No_Ryu said:
			
		

> Don't know if this thread was done before...oh well. Me personally have two biggies on this subject.
> 
> 1. When Sasuke/Naruto thinks Sasuke/Naruto is sexy/cute/pretty/hot/etc. then stops and becomes like "Did I just describe him as sexy/cute/pretty/hot/etc?!"
> 
> ...





Wow that is so true ^_^


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## Harlita (May 31, 2006)

Ugh. My biggest pet peeve is when they take the characters completely out of character without explanation as to why the change.. or (god forbid) alternate universe. In other words, they take Naruto.. and put it in like.. modern day high school.

  I can't read those.. it just kills any ability for me to get into the story when they are talking about christmas shopping or meeting the president of the US?!?! i mean.. cmon.. the FILLERS are better than that.
()


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## Rotc Girl (May 31, 2006)

Abscon said:
			
		

> Things i Hate:
> 1. Bad couple fics. Exsample.. Hinata: I love you Naruto..
> Naruto (Thinks).. I love you to hinata..They go in and have passionate sex.
> You can make good NaruHina fics still.. Check out Two Halves. Great story.    Recommended.
> ...




I'd have to argue with the KakaSaku because I have read a fic that was pretty good, but the other pairings are annoying.
Characters not acting like themselves bugs me.


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## Ill_Ame (May 31, 2006)

Rotc Girl said:
			
		

> I'd have to argue with the KakaSaku because I have read a fic that was pretty good, but the other pairings are annoying.



Funny.  This illustrates exactly what I was talking about earlier.  You can accept this pairing because the author wrote it well, right?

Well, it's only rarely that one will come along, but if a fanfic writer is talented enough, he or she should be able to write a pairing and make it believable and interesting to read about, regardless of who the characters involved are.


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## AoiJounin_Mizu (Jun 1, 2006)

harlita said:
			
		

> Ugh. My biggest pet peeve is when they take the characters completely out of character without explanation as to why the change.. or (god forbid) alternate universe. In other words, they take Naruto.. and put it in like.. modern day high school.
> 
> I can't read those.. it just kills any ability for me to get into the story when they are talking about christmas shopping or meeting the president of the US?!?! i mean.. cmon.. the FILLERS are better than that.
> ()




Me too that so makes me mad when people do that  Harlita

then also when people make there own character like this Nina has a demon just naruto, She is sasuke's girl friend and then make the characters go completely out of character that really makes me mad >.<


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## Rotc Girl (Jun 1, 2006)

@Ill Ame:  If someone can write the fanfic well enough to make me believe that the pairing works, then yes I like the fic and the pairing in that fic only.


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## PsyBomb (Jun 25, 2006)

I just have one big one, really. I don't mind Yaoi/Yuri if I'm warned in advance. I don't mind a few cliches (I use NaruHina, SasuSaku, NejiTen, ShikaTam, and Naruto as Hokage in my own fic, at least as assumptions). I don't mind OOC (within limits). I really don't mind anything at all...

AS LONG AS IT COULD REASONABLY HAPPEN!!!

Before I wrote my own fic, I took the time to read through the manga, and then took a week to plot out what would likely happen to Konoha and why. Thus, when my fic is set 20+ years into the future, it is in a world which CAN HAPPEN! If something is pushing it, then please explain it somewhere. Hinata is confident? Well, maybe an intervening war in which she proved herself TO herself occurred. Sasuke returns? Unless the average konoha citizen didn't know about him leaving (which CAN be done), he's going to be followed by suspicion wherever he goes.
</rant>

Besides that, it's all in spelling, grammar, and formatting. I've actually seen stories that were so badly edited and formatted that I sent a letter to the writer asking for PERMISSION to edit it, just as long as they said I'd edited it. Of the three times I've done this, would you believe that two of them said it was fine as it was? Sheesh.

Oh, and this post is also a not-so-subtle request for reviews of my own fic, link found in my sig. I figure that, around this thread, I'll get people who'll tell me where I messed up.


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## Kenpachi Goobpachi (Jun 27, 2006)

i dont like one thing flaming


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## Emissary inactive (Jun 27, 2006)

The fact that they let ADHD fanbrats near a keyboard in the first place. Almost all fics are one giant grammar error with yaoi thrown in for no apparent reason.


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## Hikari-sama (Jul 2, 2006)

Pet peeves...
1)People who just don't get that Orochimaru is _fifty years old_! I hate it when they pair him with people who are 37 years younger than him!
2)Sasunaru.Not to offend people who like it,but I just can't see how that even works.Isn't Sasuke's goal to revive his clan? You can't do that with a guy.
3)Vampire Sasuke stories.'Nuff said.
4)This is stupid,but...When people can't hit the shift key when typing exclamation points! WTF does "Believe it1111111" mean?!
5)Although it is true,when I first started writing FFs,I too,commited this crime...When you're writing a romance fic,the characters should not fall in love in the first chapter! Jeeze...

I think that's it.


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## Mangekyou28Sharingan (Jul 2, 2006)

Things I can't stand: 
Stupid pairings that could NEVER happen in a MILLION years. For example: Orochimaru and Itachi, Sakura and Kakashi, Gaara and Hinata, Gai and Kakashi! O_O WTF!? This is including Yaoi.
When the story is getting really interesting then the character has a flashback that lasts 3-4 chapters!
Re-written manga chapters with the author instead of Naruto. (those just get really boring after two paragraphs or so)
Random bits and peices thrown into a story that son't make a lick of sense.

Things I find are disgusting:
Older people doing younger people in their beds with ALOT of fine details! And they rate them K-> T too!


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## Praeceps (Jul 2, 2006)

Ok heres mine...

Ok first one yaoi and unrealistic pairings and there's too bloody many yaoi fics it's unbelievable, don't mind yuri if its on the side in a story, though I don't look for it.

Next i*c*st, its just plain WRONG, nuff said.

Fics where Narutos treated wrong then Kyuubi teaches him jutsus, they have just been too overused, and come on! Kyuubi has paws, how can he do jutsu?

OOCs fics are quite annoying and disappointing, some fics have good plots but the authors don't hardly know their characters.

Self-inserts, Mary sues and Highschool fics I avoid, I've read only a few and they were rubbish and I've avoided them ever since.

I hate it when you get one of those good stories which you really like, that you look forward to the next chapter but you get reallly disappointed when the author starts to not update for ages or not at all.  I expect only about 5-10%of all Naruto fics on ff.net are complete.

Grammar, mistakes or writers that have bad info on Naruto. I don't mind if I get this a few times in a fic but when it's too much I abandon it, why can't people use spell checker? (sigh).

People who use ANs during the story, they're very annoying and it stops the flow of the story, I don't see why they can't just wait until the end of the chapter.

Don't think anyones mentioned this one yet, femaleNaruto fics, mostly the ones where maleNaruto changes into a female because its something to do with the kyuubi or some other reason, authors mostly do it just to have get a way to have a NaruSasu pairing without any yaoi.

Crossovers mostly HP, only a few crossovers I don't mind and there's one I like, its with warcraft think it's called Legend of Uzumaki Naruto.

And oh yes last one uberpowerful Naruto and stuff unrealistic to canon, one example is the Tale of Two Bijus(spelt wrong maybe) which is quite recent, Naruto and the OC can do Kage level jutsus at Genin exam, lol I abandoned it straight away.

Ok thats me done.


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## Blank402 (Jul 4, 2006)

My biggest pet peeve would probably be writers who write good fics, but randomly drop them with no explination. I've read some fics that have the potential to be the best, but they just get abandoned out of no where.

Also, as a fanfiction writer it's annoying when I get short, pointless reviews. I mean, it's bad enough that I get so little reviews already, but having every review be 'sweet udate, can't wait for more' is annoying. 

Besides those two, I pretty much agree with everything else in this topic.


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## Guardsman Bass (Jul 5, 2006)

There are a number of fanfiction peeves of mine, which turn me off to varying degrees.

1. *Bad Grammar*. The worst variation of this is when the author doesn't bother formatting the story into paragraphs. If I find a story which is essentially ten pages of block writing, I'm not going to read the story, even if it is comparable to the next Great American Novel in terms of plot.

2. *Bad naming*. Someone already mentioned this above; do NOT give your characters American-style names like Tim, John, or whatever. Just as annoying are strange names that I've heard, like "Falcon" or the like. It draws attention away from the story.

3. *Bad characterization*. Although I believe that are personalities are about 50% genetic in origin (so a number of Naruto's traits would still be present), that still leaves a lot of his personality due to his social environment. In other words, if Naruto is raised by Akatsuki, Jiraiya, or a Sky Pixie, and only introduced into Konoha later, he's not going to be the same attention-seeking, hyperactive, boastful fellow he is in the canon. The tendencies may still be there (he may still have a great disregard for rules and conventional fighting), but they will not be expressed in the same manner.


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## Kitty (Jul 5, 2006)

Just a tip: If you're reading a story that you find interesting but is just so horribly fucking formatted that it hurts to read, you could just copy and paste it into word and seperate it yourself. I do this a lot with websites that have really awful or hard to read fonts.


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## Nejitenstar8 (Jul 6, 2006)

Oh I'm so sad. After reading all these pet peeves with fanfics I feel like my fanfic is completely horrible....


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## Blank402 (Jul 6, 2006)

Also, as far as pairings go, I can usually read anything that's well written, except for SasuSaku. I just don't like reading anything with that pairing. Ecspecailly since I usually like Naruto-centric stories, and SasuSaku stories usually tend to be oriented around Sasuke. I also don't like yaoi.


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## Radical Dreamer (Jul 6, 2006)

Hmmm...pet peeves? Well, I hate how almost every het paring for Naruto is Naru/Hinata. Gods, it's like some writers come-up short on ideas and just slap those two together for the hell of it. Most Naru/Hinata's are complete train wrecks. My other major ones are:

1. Uber-powerful Naruto. Come on people, this is Naruto and not DBZ. Naruto can't fly, kill people with killing intent, or handle all of Kyuubi's chakra and grow tails at random. 

2. OC tutors. Holy crap I hate those. They just waltz in and teach Naruto all kinds of stuff? Sure, my first Naruto fiction had one but I'm going to be doing massive re-writes too it in the future. I read some fictions where some uber-powerful, previously unknown, super-ninja comes into town and miraculously notices Naruto and decides to spend the rest of his/her life training him. I read things like that and my brain tries to claw its way out of my skull.

3. Stories that make everyone have a personality-flip on the first chapter. "OMG! Kakashi finally sees how great Naruto is and decides to kick Sasuke to the curb to teach him!" or "OMG! I'm so sorry I never noticed you before, Naruto! Sasuke was never better than you, lets run off together! -Naruto and Sakura run off and become uber-ninjas!-" Come on, people...really.


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## Kitty (Jul 7, 2006)

Nejitenstar8 said:
			
		

> Oh I'm so sad. After reading all these pet peeves with fanfics I feel like my fanfic is completely horrible....




^_^ Aw, just take what you read and use it to better your writing. We all have to start out somewhere and I can ensure you that even some of the best fanfic writers probably started out producing crap.


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## Guardsman Bass (Jul 7, 2006)

Kitty said:
			
		

> Just a tip: If you're reading a story that you find interesting but is just so horribly fucking formatted that it hurts to read, you could just copy and paste it into word and seperate it yourself. I do this a lot with websites that have really awful or hard to read fonts.




That's the problem, though; I never really get too far into the story enough to enjoy enough to bother taking the time to correct grammar mistakes, because I can't read the bloody thing.

Incidently, I'm divided on the OC tutors concept. It really depends on the tutor. For example, you don't want Dante from _Devil May Cry_ suddenly showing up to teach Naruto how to turn into a winged devil and shoot two guns at the same time (since guns don't really exist in the canon Naruto). 

However, I did read a story called "Fist of Naruto", which had Naruto being raised and taught by Kenshiro from _Fist of the North Star_. That actually worked pretty well in the story's context, because Kenshiro's fighting style (using human pressure points to kill people) works within the magical-ninja framework of the Naruto series.


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## CarolinaB (Jul 7, 2006)

1. Mary Sue, OOC, OC, IS. You write this, you kill yourself! Most fics with OC, will suck, in the end the character will become a damn Mary-Sue.

2. Author notes in the middle of a scene or chapter. 
    Ex: Naruto couldn't belive his eyes. After all this time. Sasuke. Sasuke was here (ANMG!! No smexy yaoi for u lolzXP). Naruto shouted his name.

3. Awefull grammar. I have a very poor spealing. Okay it sucks. But when the writer makes 10 mistake every 5 words I'm out!

4. One big paragraph. It's confusing, it makes my head hurt and you suck!

5. Ignoring characters for the sake of your ship. It makes my blood boild when in a fic about NejixLee, you don't give Tenten a single line, beside giggling. Or you want Hinata in Team 7 and Sakura sudenly dissapeards or it's a bitch and it's expulsed from Konoha....

6. Lame plots. Tsunade sends Naruto and Hinata to a mission. But they get lost! Oh no, what ever will they do? Beside having sex I mean...

7. Secret bloodline!! Inner Sakura is the Haruno's bloodline. It's power is so awesome the Sharingan it's put to shame. Yeah, soooo original!!

8. Ohayo!! Nani? You're using both japanese and english? Baka! You can hardly speak your own lenguage! It annoy me to no end, you can use -chan, -kun, -sensei and -sama all you want, but everything else it's a big no! Not everybody pays attention to this things in the anime and manga only people are screwed.

9. Torture fics. No, it's not bondage. It's when everything goes horrible wrong for a character. Ex: Sakura get's raped by Itachi, she get's has an abortion and feels bad, Sasuke beats the crap out of her and burns her arms, she get's lost in the woods and breaks her legs, Kiba founds and rape her, Naruto goes Kyuubi on her and burns 80% of her skin, Itachi comes back and uses MS on her, rapes her again, Tsunade get's drunk and beats her, she loses her ability to mold chackra, somehow she's pregnated again. Yes, I have actually seen fics like this.


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## ShadowKazePhoenix (Jul 7, 2006)

Mpreg. I. HATE. Mpreg. People, guys don't have ovaries or a womb, therefore they cannot become pregnant. And even if they use Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu and have sex while they're in the female form, it still won't happen unless they can hold the jutsu for 9 months straight. Not even Naruto could do that using the Kyuubi's chakra, so what makes you think Iruka can? (no, i did not just pull that out of the air, there's a story with it happening on FF.N)

OOC. If it's just a little bit then I can handle it. What I can't stand is Sasuke acting like a lovesick schoolgirl, blushing whenever Naruto so much as breathes in his direction.

Bad presentation of a fic. If the spelling and grammar are awful and there's something like three lines between paragraphs so it looks like the story is omg,uberlong!!111one then I don't even try to read it.

SasukeIno/NarutoIno. I have nothing against Ino. There is just no way she would be paired with Sasuke or Naruto. I don't think I can remember a time when Naruto and Ino talked, and let's face it, Ino is a Sasuke fangirl and he really doesn't like any of them. Some people are going to disagree with me but I am a 100% supporter of ShikaIno.

Girl!Naruto. NO. Just, no. Where some really secret mission requires Naruto to go undercover as a girl using his Sexy no Jutsu, and he can't tell aaaaanyone about it. And then lookielookie, (s)he somehow runs into Sasuke, makes up some completely BS story and a cutesy name, and then Sasuke decides that he suddenly wants to hit puberty and stalk this new girl whose 'sky-blue eyes' and 'sun-gold hair' remind him of Naruto. And then when he finds out that it's Naruto (after, of course, kissing him/her), he throws a tantrum and goes into shock and then Naruto explains that he had orders and wasn't allowed to tell and then Sasuke decides to keep going like he knew it was Naruto the whole time. Oh yeah, let's throw in the fact that it's the Sand Village that Naruto had to go undercover in and Gaara saw him/her there and instantly knew it was Naruto and decided to kiss/kidnap/molest anyway because (s)he is Naruto.

On a semi-unrelated note, what's all the people hating shounen-ai/yaoi? There's nothing wrong with it, there's a whole lot that's actually really good. You just need to learn to be openminded. You just gotta be careful to pick the stuff that's actually justified, and not just Sasuke and every other second ninja suddenly trying to molest Naruto.


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## Nejitenstar8 (Jul 7, 2006)

> ^_^ Aw, just take what you read and use it to better your writing. We all have to start out somewhere and I can ensure you that even some of the best fanfic writers probably started out producing crap.


 You are right. It's alright to make mistakes and I should learn from them! 
 My pet fanfiction peeves would probably be... Well it takes alot to annoy me.... I cannot read a LeeTen, SasuIno, NejiHina, NejiSaku or NejiIno at all. I think I can get by with NaruSaku maybe even though I'm not a fan of that pairing. But the thing with a NaruSaku included fic is that it would have to have another pairing I like in it like NejiTen for me to read it. ( I'm sorry! Don't get angry anyone!) 
 I don't like when fanfic writers get crazy with their reviews demands and then complain about the reviews. For example, in my fanfics I just say something like 'Please review! It would make my day!' I hate fanfics were the writer is like 'I refuse to update until I get 500 reviews! I need your reviews and your disgusting if you don't review! You non-reviewers are dirt!' granted reviewing is important and greatly appreciated and people should review if they read a story, but the writers shouldn't get weird about them. 
  I hate when people do review the writers is like 'Oh and I want the review to be at least two paragraphs long and with perfect grammar and spelling' those are my biggest pet peeves.


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## Shuriken_Thrower (Jul 7, 2006)

Yaio

Yuri

Uchiha/Hyuugacest's

Thats pretty much all that really get's on my nerves


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## Acerbitas (Jul 10, 2006)

*A book could be written on this topic*

1.  Putting two characters together just because they are hot.  It's really lame, people.  I like some yaoi pairings, and I write some yaoi pairings.  But so many are just for the hot factor, which is just so fustrating.
2.  People that only read canon pairings and act like you are stupid for diverging from the over-plodded path.  And when people say:  "I don't like it because it couldn't happen!"  A good enough writer can make nearly everything happen.
3.  Get a beta! 'Nuff said.
4.  Crossovers.  'Nuff said.
5.  When people favorite my stories and don't review them.
6.  When people flame me for writing something they don't agree with.  If you don't like it, don't click on it.  Why is this a hard concept?
7.  KakaIru.  WHY is this considered canon?
8.  When people don't respond to reviews on livejournal.
9.  Male pregnancy and almost all suicide fics.  Male pregnancy = impossible.  Suicide fics = pre-teen angst fests
10.  Mary Sues.  "Then Gaara met me and we fell in love!!11111"  Yeah, right, and I'm the President of the United States.
11.  Out of character writing.
12.  Using random Japanese words.  "Oh kame!"  Do you know how god damn awful that sounds?  It's English...use English.  It's also fustrating because you know they've never had a year of Japanese in their lives!


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## DMC (Jul 11, 2006)

1) Good Kyubi...and how he calls Naruto "Kit" in every f#cking sentence.
2) Mpreg. How in the world does this happen? What is the appeal?
3) Naruto bloodline...nuff said
4) Using the word Arse instead of ass (I mean come on.)
5) Adding japanese words into english (Oh Kami. By Kami! For Kami sakes!)
6) Paring fanficiton has become so recycled, that the only way to get something original to read is to look for crack-pairings. SasuSaku, HinaNaru, ect... They are pretty much the same damn story over and over and over.


Biggest Pet Peeve:

"I refuse to write more chapters until I get 10 more reviews..." WTF!?!?!?!?!


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## Sesshoumaru (Jul 18, 2006)

This is what I said my first post...



			
				Hyuuga Ranma said:
			
		

> Pet peeves? I got a list for that.
> 
> 1) I don't like characters that are highly over-powered without good enough reason. This is my general pet peeve that goes to other fanfiction besides Naruto. I don't like it when the main character owns everyone from the get go.
> 
> ...



Wow, so many similar pet peeves added since my hiatus. Time for me to add an ammend some of my own pet peeves.

Here is one that I am currently accused of - OOC Itachi without reason or OOC Itachi due to author self-insertion. Well, my Uchiha Itachi in the Lazy Uchiha (see signature) is very out of character compared to the canon series for good reason. You'll have to read the fic to understand. Currently, I'm working on re-writing the prologue to the story to ammend this problem. Should of done it a long time ago, actually.

OOC in General - Now, it's true that this is only fanfiction and the author can write characters however they want. Though, if an Author states that the characters are In-Character, is he/she/it referring to in-character for the story plot and setting, or by anime/manga standards? I extremely dislike characters that are NOT OOC when the story plot requires it. The same could be said for characters acting OOC for situations that are directly from the anime/manga without good reason.

Self-Inserts - The most notorious Naruto-SI is "Naruto's Mom". It was interesting at first but it just became stale, then rotten as chapters continues, even into it's continuation series. Not even worth reviewing. It's pure fangirlism at it's finest. Character has been in the Naruto series for over 12 years, knows anything and everything about the series, even when the original series beginning starts (12 years after arrival). The SI is notorious for wielding anime mallets and somehow knows this uber technique that she's teaching everybody and their moma. I mean, that's like me having Melissa Mao from FMP! running around destroying Konoha in an M9 Gurnsback Arm Slave while complaining about the price of canned crab. It's just not right.

Nibi no Nekomata - Come on, I know it's considered canon by manga standards and people have been writing about it before then, but still. Enough with the Nibi! NibiNibiNibiNibiNibiNibiNibiNibiNibiNibiNibi

-cest fics. The ONLY i*c*st fanfiction that I would believe would be Hyuugacest hidden relationship between Neji and Hinata or an arranged deal between Neji and Hanabi. Now, it's true that we do not know nearly anything about Hanabi's personality ~ many portray her to be a little ass hat, which I highly doubt ~ but it's possible. Haishi would want to keep the bloodline strong and Neji is the perfect subject to utilize. Uchihacest is impossible due to the hateful relationship between Itachi and Sasuke.


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## FinalDragon13 (Jul 18, 2006)

OMG!! there are SOOO many peeves, but the major one that pisses me off is crack pairings in a really really good story

sometimes ill be in the middle of an amazing fic, then out of no where Naruto and Hinata are making out.... thats just dumb

there should be a rule against crack pairings.... this includes yaoi! damn fangirls!!


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## Radical Dreamer (Jul 18, 2006)

FinalDragon13 said:
			
		

> OMG!! there are SOOO many peeves, but the major one that pisses me off is crack pairings in a really really good story
> 
> sometimes ill be in the middle of an amazing fic, then out of no where Naruto and Hinata are making out.... thats just dumb
> 
> there should be a rule against crack pairings.... this includes yaoi! damn fangirls!!


Are you kidding? Naruto/Hinata is anything but a crack pairing. Almost every damn fiction is Naruto/Hinata. The only interesting romance fiction is one with a crack pairing, there is waaaay to much Naruto/Hinata, Naruto/Sasuke, Shikamaru/Temari, Neji/Tenten out there.


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## wingsover (Jul 19, 2006)

I would be so happy if someone passed a law making it illegal for people to refer to eyes as 'orbs' of any sort. Sapphire orbs, pearly orbs, emerald orbs, jade orbs, onyx orbs, orbs of darkness, orbs of silver, beautiful orbs. 

No. Goddamn it, people's eyeballs are not displayed in 3d anyway, unless they're PLUCKED from their SKULL. 

And while it's true that crack pairings are great fun, canon pairings can still be fun to read. If you wade through the miles of crap for the one or two sparkling jewels that go in-depth on the characters.


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## Rasha (Jul 20, 2006)

wingsover said:
			
		

> I would be so happy if someone passed a law making it illegal for people to refer to eyes as 'orbs' of any sort. Sapphire orbs, pearly orbs, emerald orbs, jade orbs, onyx orbs, orbs of darkness, orbs of silver, beautiful orbs.
> 
> No. Goddamn it, people's eyeballs are not displayed in 3d anyway, unless they're PLUCKED from their SKULL.
> 
> And while it's true that crack pairings are great fun, canon pairings can still be fun to read. If you wade through the miles of crap for the one or two sparkling jewels that go in-depth on the characters.




Unless you see them in the dark, and you can't see the rest of the body, though. I would think seeing the giant eyes anime characters have, staring blatantly at you from the void, would give the slightest impression of having orb-like features...But it is just my opinion.

                      But a good point made by you nonetheless, Rasha


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## nwoppertje (Jul 20, 2006)

I replied already once in this thread but I was being a n00blar and I replied with bullcrap. ^^;;

Now onto the petpeeves:

Mary-OC's: 
Oh my god, half demon jinchuuriki bluehaired invincible superbeautiful females with as only goal to find a place in *insert character here* boxers by the usage of exessive angstwhoring.... Serious.... 

Mpreg:
Men do not have an uterus. Deal with it. Period.

SasukeXeveryone:
I am one of those people who absolutely do NOT mind hardcore yaoi fics, but skimming through pages and pages of Sasuke getting it in the butt from Naruto and/or Itachi makes me want to curl up in a dark corner.


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## Lysander45 (Jul 22, 2006)

I hate God-fics. You know the ones where its always along the lines of _'Naruto was not afraid because he had his ultra super jutsu that if used wrong could destroy the world as we know it. He knew every single jutsu and we have no idea how but he could use them in ways we could never imagine and he always gets his girl and he always wins in a meaninglessly predictable way'_, I could go on and on. 

Also, I like to see a long fic. You know something that has to have proper time devoted to it, not something that has chapters made up of 4-7 piddly little paragraphs. A perfect example of a nice long fic would be the 'Just Wont Die' series by 'One-shot' Wong. Kinda off topic I know because its a Ranma 1/2 crossover with bits of Neon Genisis Evangelion/Slayers/Ghost in the Shell/Bubblegum Crisis/Naruto/Maison Ikuko/OH MY GODDESS! thrown in. If you read it then you will know what I mean. This isn't some sort of advertisement for the fic, oh no not at all, I just like it thats all


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## Sesshoumaru (Jul 22, 2006)

Lysander45 said:
			
		

> I hate God-fics. You know the ones where its always along the lines of _'Naruto was not afraid because he had his ultra super jutsu that if used wrong could destroy the world as we know it. He knew every single jutsu and we have no idea how but he could use them in ways we could never imagine and he always gets his girl and he always wins in a meaninglessly predictable way'_, I could go on and on.
> 
> Also, I like to see a long fic. You know something that has to have proper time devoted to it, not something that has chapters made up of 4-7 piddly little paragraphs. A perfect example of a nice long fic would be the 'Just Wont Die' series by 'One-shot' Wong. Kinda off topic I know because its a Ranma 1/2 crossover with bits of Neon Genisis Evangelion/Slayers/Ghost in the Shell/Bubblegum Crisis/Naruto/Maison Ikuko/OH MY GODDESS! thrown in. If you read it then you will know what I mean. This isn't some sort of advertisement for the fic, oh no not at all, I just like it thats all



You just contradicted yourself by saying you dislike God-like fics, yet you enjoy Jeff Wong's 'Just Won't Die'. Jeffory 'One-Shot' Wong is primary example of a writer that writes God-Like fics, subjective to writing repetative jokes that are not funny just in increase story word count, a classic harem fic writer with no taste, and does NOT complete his work. If I recall, multiple parts within the Just Won't Die series are missing entirely (the fight of Pantyhose Taro verses Angels).


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## Lysander45 (Jul 25, 2006)

Hyuuga Ranma said:
			
		

> You just contradicted yourself by saying you dislike God-like fics, yet you enjoy Jeff Wong's 'Just Won't Die'. Jeffory 'One-Shot' Wong is primary example of a writer that writes God-Like fics, subjective to writing repetative jokes that are not funny just in increase story word count, a classic harem fic writer with no taste, and does NOT complete his work. If I recall, multiple parts within the Just Won't Die series are missing entirely (the fight of Pantyhose Taro verses Angels).




I guess I kinda did huh. Okay let me rephrase. I hate god-fics except 'Just Wont Die'. That is the only one I have enjoyed reading. I guess it just goes to show everyone hasd their own tastes, and I thank you for pointing this out for me *bows*


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## Moccanime (Jul 25, 2006)

Fanfic Pet Peeves, hmm, I think writing all mine down would fill 4 or 5 post 
Most have already been mentioned (OoC, unbelivabel pairings, etc.)

Some of the worst is the reuse of the same plot over and over again. There where even a guy on FFnet who actually reused 95% of his chapter 1 from one story in another story's chapter 1. It was copy-paste reuse, and the worst part was that he seamed to accidently hit paste twice.

Along the same lines of doing the same crossovers again and again. We already have more then enough Harrypoter and Inuyasha crossovers already. What about a new crossover fx. how about a Naruto/Symbiote crossover (might do that myself as soon as I have done 2 other ideas I have), hell a Naruto/Hagane crossover could be fun.

Another is rushed stories. More fics is ruined by a rushed storyline than bad concept.


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## Rasha (Jul 26, 2006)

I can’t really give much weight to my words, being a newbie to both Naruto and this forum, but some general things do tend to get on my nerves when trying to uncover some serious writers.

Some people, as you can easily tell, love to use computer lingo within a descriptive document. I am sorry, but when I run into a “ you are done 4” I close out.

Also, there are far too many love stories out there. My idea is to put stories with any romance at all into a separate thread or subcategory. 

And last but not least the authors. If you aren’t serious about what you are writing, don’t bother to type it. And if it doesn’t make sense half of the time, the other half isn’t worth reading to me. Give us literacy, grammar, action, detail, and effort!

Hoping he hasn’t really peeved someone off, Rasha


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## Sesshoumaru (Jul 27, 2006)

Naruto REAL

See that link above? This just pissed me off recently. This story is a blatant plagerism of my story, The Lazy Uchiha.


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## Rasha (Jul 29, 2006)

Sesshoumaru said:
			
		

> Naruto REAL
> 
> See that link above? This just pissed me off recently. This story is a blatant plagerism of my story, The Lazy Uchiha.



Oh. My. God. At first, I didn?t think it was too bad, sure he had the whole ?Uchiha Uprising? idea, but it is possible someone else could have thought that up without reading ?The Lazy Uchiha?. It could be possible, but not likely.

Then you get to farther into the ?novel? and the next thing you know, boom, complete plagiarism! What the heck was he thinking, ?Maybe I?ll just write the same thing he did, just a little bit different and worse!?

Is there any way to get rid of the filthy thief? I?m worried about my own ideas being taken!

Hoping that it is not to late to guard his own work, Rasha


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## Radical Dreamer (Jul 29, 2006)

Just report it. FF.net will remove his story.


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## Sesshoumaru (Jul 29, 2006)

Rasha said:
			
		

> Oh. My. God. At first, I didn?t think it was too bad, sure he had the whole ?Uchiha Uprising? idea, but it is possible someone else could have thought that up without reading ?The Lazy Uchiha?. It could be possible, but not likely.
> 
> Then you get to farther into the ?novel? and the next thing you know, boom, complete plagiarism! What the heck was he thinking, ?Maybe I?ll just write the same thing he did, just a little bit different and worse!?
> 
> ...



I reported him and left a review asking him to remove the story on his own. And you know what? He replies to my review trying to apologize saying that future chapters are not going to be like my story.

Yeah, right.


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## Rasha (Jul 29, 2006)

Yeah, and that makes up for his inexcusable behavior, how? The kid needs to delete that abomination of a fanfiction; it is a downright disgrace of himself and everything you've worked so hard for. Even if he changes later parts, he still plagiarised the beginning, didn't he?

Still steaming, Rasha


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## wingsover (Jul 29, 2006)

Report his ass. It's not enough they have to write suckily and subject us to it, he has to do it to one of the more decent fics out there?


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## Ucal (Jul 30, 2006)

i'm new to the fanfic community, but I recently attempted to read the infamous high school stlye of naruto Fanfics.  



I gave up after the author notes in the middle of the story, the lable *FLASHBACK* (very unsubtle) and the fact that sasuke was acting like naruto.  So I guess out of characterness, authors notes in the middle of the story (your story should be self explanatory!) and the flashback labels.  Not to mention crappy unoriginal stories about characters going to high school.

EDIT:  This one is worse.  Sasunaru yaoi with a hint of man pregnancy, and rape.  I swear to god, its stories like these that make me want to shoot something.


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## wingsover (Jul 30, 2006)

Minor peeve; because this is therapeutic. 

Summaries. Why oh why can you not exert the mental effort to make your summaries readable? "I can't think of a summary!" or "The story is much better than the summary." do not encourage me with regards to your writing skills. If you can't write a couple of sentences about your story, why should I assume you can write anything else? And when you do try, it's usually full of wrongness. 

Also, I get annoyed by the command/plea/disclaimer tagged onto lots of summaries: NO FLAMES PLZ KTHX. It annoys me. First of all, if your story is so bad you fear flaming even before people get near it, why do you post it? Secondly, flames are by definition something no one wants. No one says "Please flame me!" (except trolls or people with really bad days who need an outlet to scream at - but I digress) So why do you assume that your heartfelt plea will touch the inner mercy of the potential flamers? 

Also, don't frigging tell me what to do. If I want to flame you I will. I don't need your permission. Graaaagh! Every time I see that disclaimer I want to flame them even without reading their fic.


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## Duckling (Jul 30, 2006)

Humm, I'm not one of the greatest writers out there. ( Actually... I have never completed a fic) But I still do have some pet peeves and such. 

#1. Fics where Sakura joins/gets kidnapped and brought to Akatsuki. Come on people, Sakura *would not* join Akatsuki. Didn't she make it clear that she hated them? Why'd you join something you hate? And why in the world would the Akatsuki let a little girl join them?

AL: "Hey, a random girl wants to join us! How about we let her? Oh, right, we don't have a ring... ah well, we can just kill one of our own and give the ring to her! Or, you know what, screw the ring. Let's make this and the next threehundredandfourtytwogirls who want to join exceptions, shall we? No ring needed, they just have to be young enough. Yup, cuz young liek, have t3h 1337 power to beat all our S-Ranked Criminals!"

Or, in case in the fic, she has killed Sasori...

AL: "WHOMG! Did you see that? That girl liek, pwn3d Sasori! Not alone, but who cares. Hmm, think she'd want to join us? Yeah, I'm sure she would! I bet she killed Sasori just so she could get the ring and join! Yup! Finally, we get some skilled members. I mean, who'd want a genius who killed his own clan to be part of your evil organization, when you can have a little girl who beat one of our members by being a puppet to an old woman?" 

Just as ridiculous are those where someone kidnaps Sakura. (I think it's Itachi most of the time. Or Deidara.) Oh, and don't give me the "But it's a good idea! You know, to get Naruto to come after her? A perfect trap!" crap.

If the Akatsuki had decided to get Naruto, and travel all the way to Konoha, why not simply kidnap Naruto instead? Why the hell go trough all the trouble of getting Sakura and luring Naruto to them when you could just take Naruto instead? And how'd they know Naruto likes Sakura in the first place? Also, why sneak into Konoha in some strange disguise or something? Why not just destroy the place? They have some of the Bijus, and all of them are Kage Level ninjas. Geez.

Oh, right... I think I get the picture.
Itachi: *Stands in front of Konoha's gate* We're here! Great, ain't it? It took a while to get here...
Kisame: Sure did! 
Itachi: Now, to get ourselves into the village. Howsbout we use the same disguise as last time? I mean, it worked 1337 the last time.
Kisame: Yayzors! 
*Both put their "disguises" on. Which, of course, consist of a strange hat*
Itachi: Now we're like, invisible!
Kisame: 
*They walk in Konoha, undetected and such*
Kisame: Hey, look! It's the Jinchuuriki, eating ramen! Good opportunity for us, neh? 
Itachi: *Walks to the Ramen stand* Hey, Naruto...
Naruto: Huh? What is it mister I-have-a-strange-hat?
Itachi: Do you like someone?
Naruto: Huh? Ramen! And... Sakura!
Itachi: Okay. Thanks. *Leaves*
Kisame: ? ...  *Follows*
*Both walk for a while*
Itachi: I think this is the right place.
Kisame: ... for what? 
Itachi: For ambush. Nobody'd expect an ambush in a crowded place like this!
Kisame: Brilliant!  Who're we ambushing?
Itachi: Her! *Points at Sakura who walks past him*
Kisame: Okay 
Itachi: *Walks in front of Sakura* We're now ambushing you. Yes, we will kidnap you, and you'd better come.
Sakura: Okay. 
Kisame: 
Itachi: *Throws Sakura over his shoulder* Let's go then! Our mission succeeded!
Iruka: *Walks out of the Academy* Hey, aren't you two criminals?
Itachi: Wah, run away! We, two S-Ranked Criminals can in no way defend ourselves! Let's run for it and give some excitement to the readers!
Kisame: Alright 
*Both run away, having now succesfully caught Sakura*


... *Nodds* I think i should write one of those fics too.

And, still adding to the #1, most of fics like these involve either Daidara or Itachi having a crush on Sakura. >> No. Just, no. Neither of the S-Ranked Criminals would fall for her. 

... Neh.

Hmm... I think there's more, but I can't think of any at the moment. Except for one other:

#2. When people start out really good fic, and then just... stop updating. I HATE it. I hate reading 10+ chapters, only to find out that I will never know how the thing'll end. Of course, everyone is allowed to do what they want with their fic, even if it means that they'd diss it completely. So, I'm not blaiming anyone from doing this, and am doing this myself (though I haven't posted my stories anywhere as of yet), but it still is annoying, and I know I'm not the only one irritated by this.


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## wingsover (Jul 31, 2006)

That, right there, is better reading than 94.42923% of the fics out there. And all so true. I think I like the "Yayz! We's invisible!" moment from Kisame and Itachi the best. ^_^

*sheepishly* I don't know if my fics qualify as 'good' but I do know I have a bad habit of never finishing my series. I guess I'm a chronic procrastinator.

Oh, and just as something that just struck me now, while reading a fic: I hate it when people start inserting their opinions and wishlists of REAL LIFE MATTERS into a fic about YOUNG NINJA. As in, "And she had a red Porsche 911 with black interior and a cool silver racing fin because that was the fastest coolest car out there" or "They watched Just My Luck which all the critics said was bad but really it isn't, it was fun to watch and they enjoyed it."

W. T. F.


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## kimidoll (Jul 31, 2006)

1. Yaoi/Yuri Fanfics- Only if it's not tasteful, some give hints and that's fine with me since they aren't making out and these horrible mental pictures come in my mind.

2. i*c*st- Hyuugacest, Uchihacest, Sandcest. God, I remember reading one random fanfic while I was bored and it had Temari pregnant with Gaara's child! WTF?! Sasuke/Itachi is pretty obvious, but some childhood stories are allright.

3. SERIOUS dramatic stories on crack pairings- ONE TIME, there was one with Lee and Neji (I think) and it was written on NEJI'S POV and his 'love' for Lee. By the middle I was like, WTF?!

4. OCCness- It's just not good...

5. REVIEWERS- In a good fanfic, there's only like 2 or 3 reviews. But in bad ones there's like 30 and everyone says they're good! And then they say crap like, "Oh, make this one a NaruHina fic instead of a NaruSaku one, because they go together better." And the author just changes it! 

6. Real life people go into the Naruto world or put THEMSELVES there- Damn crappy authors are only hurting themselves. They make the characters fit for THEM. If they really were going into the Naruto world then the normal charactors wouldn't act so OCC. Plus, it's too clice and cheesy now.

7. Charactors just acting stupid- Not. Funny.

8. Gai acting all gay (w/ Lee too)- Gross! Lee is not gay, and Gai just acts that way for comic relief. My God, one FF had him as a stipper for Kakashi and the boys' noght out. "KAAAAKKAAAAAASHIIII, do you want another youthful lap dance?" So. Wrong.

9. Author's notes- If you decide to never write or continue that story, fine. But if you're just writing it to put your story on top of the list so more people will read it, is just immoral.

10. Putting in modern things- I have NEVER seen a car or computer in Naruto, have you? 

*WORST ONES*

11. Pop stars/ gangsters- "So Sakura was a famous musical sensation dating Sasuke, a ganster from the 'hood." HA! Like that'll ever get any good reviews. 

12. Telling something that already happened in a differant way- Everyone tries to change that fabulous and sad ending of episode 109 to something crappy! One had Sasuke being considerate to Sakura and actually calling her Sakura-chan. Then another had her make out with him...it was just so bad.

13. Itachi/Sakura (some)- "So Itachi wants Sasuke/the Kyuubi, so he steals Sakura and falls in love with her" And then Kisame is all mean and bulling Sakura, WTF?! When was he ever like that?? Then Sakura becomes an Akatsuki member and I just want to shoot myself for actually reading something like that.

*AND FINALLY-*

HIGH SCHOOL FFs- No comment, pretty obvious


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## Guardsman Bass (Aug 1, 2006)

I have nothing against crossovers - in fact, a good crossover can open an entirely new arena for development and plot. 

The problem is that the crossover has to make some sense, and the stories have to have a framework close enough to make the story workable. For example, you could probably pull off a form of Ranma/Naruto crossover, because they have the same framework of super-tough martial arts training and a form of ki usage. Not to mention that we see Ranma take hits the Naruto way (i.e., being thrown at 200 mph into a stone wall without being turned into protoplasm).

Harry Potter, on the other hand, does NOT have that framework. People in Harry Potter tend to break bones and die when taking mortal hits, and we never see any truly superhuman physical feats, although we do see superhuman magical efforts.


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## Mansewerz (Aug 3, 2006)

I make my own fanfics, and I have some questions.

What are Mary-Sues, what are Self inserts, and what are OOCnesses or w/e their called? 

If you want, check out my fanfic, its in my signature, I'll work on some of the things you guys mentioned.


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## Rasha (Aug 3, 2006)

Mansewerz said:
			
		

> I make my own fanfics, and I have some questions.
> 
> What are Mary-Sues, what are Self inserts, and what are OOCnesses or w/e their called?
> 
> If you want, check out my fanfic, its in my signature, I'll work on some of the things you guys mentioned.



A Mary-Sue, from what I understand, is a god-like female character sent to woo a certain canon. From what I have also heard, people will insert themselves into stories and make themselves a character that is a cousin/relative/friend of a canon.

Hoping I'm right and this helps, Rasha


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## Sesshoumaru (Aug 3, 2006)

OOC is Out Of Charater tendancies.

A Mary-Sue/Gary Dru is a character who appears in a series that lacks weaknesses, seemingly god-like in personal abilities and eventually dies a tragic death.

A self-insert is where the author inserts themselves into the story as a character or the common 'I got sucked into my story' routine.


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## Rasha (Aug 4, 2006)

Sesshoumaru said:
			
		

> OOC is Out Of Charater tendancies.
> 
> A Mary-Sue/Gary Dru is a character who appears in a series that lacks weaknesses, seemingly god-like in personal abilities and eventually dies a tragic death.
> 
> A self-insert is where the author inserts themselves into the story as a character or the common 'I got sucked into my story' routine.



Thank you, for both Mansewerz and myself. I was really getting confused by some of the slang used out there. But it is hard to imagine someone would write a "Mary Sue/ Gary Dru" and think of it as entertaining. I wonder what they would be thinking in terms of plot and character development?

Thanks for helping us both out, Rasha


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## wingsover (Aug 4, 2006)

They're not thinking. They just want some wish-fulfilment.


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## Highland Dragon (Aug 4, 2006)

Hmmm...what are my fanfic peeves?
Well;

1. OCs, especially when they end up with one of the charaters. They are almost always mary sues

2. Crossovers, they always suck

3. Major crack pairings, I don't mind any pairing be it straight or gay but they have to make some sort of sense. I mean Iruka and Kakashi? They've talked once, and they disagreed with each other!

4. Lots of spelling and grammer errors. I know I can make mistakes, I can make a lot of mistakes, but at least I put it through a spell check.

5. Author's notes where they 'talk' with the characters, ugh

6. i*c*st and pedophilla. I don't mind Hyuugacest as much at least they're cousins as aposed to siblings. I'm pretty sure it's legal to marry a cousin but still....why?

That's all I can think about just now, but I'm sure there's more.


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## Therahedwig (Aug 4, 2006)

> 3. Major crack pairings, I don't mind any pairing be it straight or gay but they have to make some sort of sense. I mean Iruka and Kakashi? They've talked once, and they disagreed with each other!


Pst, that's the point of a crack!pairing, it shouldn't make sense, it's also why the term for it is crackpairing, because the author must've been on crack when s/he wrote it.


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## Highland Dragon (Aug 4, 2006)

Nah what I meant was when crack pairings are in a long and serious story and considered normal (like KakaIru). I don't mind them so much when they give a decent reason for it or it's a crack fic


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## wingsover (Aug 5, 2006)

Dude, yes. 

"But why are you putting Naruto and Sakura together? Naruto and Sasuke are twu lub 4eva and eva you ****** kIhsi said so!"

No. No he didn't.


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## Highland Dragon (Aug 5, 2006)

I can actually see the sense in Naruto and Sasuke but it's also highly unlikly to ever happen. I agree that Naruto and Sakura is the far more likly pairing and stuff like that pisses me off. 
Oh and I hate major out of characterness. Like Sasuke the pervert (eh?). I don't mind slight changes as it can be difficult to get a character right. (I know I have difficulty, my kakashi is awful....so I killed him off....)
But major differences is awful.


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## Radical Dreamer (Aug 5, 2006)

Major ooc's work when you're doing a humor fic or an AU fic but if you're seriously trying to pan-off a perverted Sasuke and not label it ooc then yeah, I agree with the above poster.

Really though, all of these canon fics are getting old, people should explore other plotlines. I can't count how many times I've seen the same old summary for the same old fiction with the same old "NarutoxHinata, SasukexSakura, InoxShikamaru, and NejixTenten! OMG I'm so original!" in the description. It really makes my blood simmer.


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## wingsover (Aug 5, 2006)

It's not so much that crack pairings exist - I love them, personally, and will write them myself with my most cracky one being a GaiSasuKaka ficlet - as the fact that fangirls will insist that they're CANON and that anything else is blasphemy. Same goes for 'non-crack' like NaruHina, and SasuSaku, and actually for any pairing that the person will tell me is "the only choice".


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## Guardsman Bass (Aug 6, 2006)

Sesshoumaru said:
			
		

> OOC is Out Of Charater tendancies.
> 
> A Mary-Sue/Gary Dru is a character who appears in a series that lacks weaknesses, seemingly god-like in personal abilities and eventually dies a tragic death.
> 
> A self-insert is where the author inserts themselves into the story as a character or the common 'I got sucked into my story' routine.



The Mary/Gary Sue definition is more complex than simply a character without weaknesses, or a self-insertion of sorts. Most of the ones I've seen in stories were a combination of wish fulfillment on the author's part, along with the character appearing and then promptly sucking up all the attention of the other characters. I'd suggest looking at the Wikipedia definition.

A pretty generic example would be like a character appearing on the set of Naruto, and suddenly the axis of the universe revolves around him/her. All the main male/female leads want him/her, he/she is the son/daughter of the fourth/third/Kakashi/Gai/Chouji, and they only make mistakes when it is convenient for the plot.


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## Guardsman Bass (Aug 6, 2006)

Iruka/Kakashi is, in my opinion, the most bizarre pairing I've heard in the mainstream, outside of the 'so-outrageous it makes no sense', like a Naru3rdHokage pairing or the like.

Aside from their brief conversations (already mentioned), both Iruka and Kakashi appear to be definitely heterosexual - Iruka gets the Anime Nosebleed when Naruto does the Sexy Jutsu, and Kakashi's major hobby is to read a pornographic book written by the heterosexual Jiraiya.


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## wingsover (Aug 6, 2006)

Guardsman Bass said:
			
		

> The Mary/Gary Sue definition is more complex than simply a character without weaknesses, or a self-insertion of sorts. Most of the ones I've seen in stories were a combination of wish fulfillment on the author's part, along with the character appearing and then promptly sucking up all the attention of the other characters. I'd suggest looking at the Wikipedia definition.
> 
> A pretty generic example would be like a character appearing on the set of Naruto, and suddenly the axis of the universe revolves around him/her. All the main male/female leads want him/her, he/she is the son/daughter of the fourth/third/Kakashi/Gai/Chouji, and they only make mistakes when it is convenient for the plot.



True, true. While not as overtly obnoxious, the New Character who is very deliberately flawed so as to allow the writer to say, "What are you talking about, my character isn't a Mary Sue at all! See, she's got freckles. And she's scared of the dark." is still annoying. 

Sometimes they're not the most powerful. (But then they are able to do more with their limited chakra than should be possible, because they are INTELLIGENT and CUNNING, and they deliver snarky one-liners while doing it too). Or they're not classically good-looking but they still get the girl/guy. Jeez.


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## narutouzumaki123 (Aug 6, 2006)

*peeves*

my pet peeves with fanfics is basicly anything that isnt narutoXsakura.i dont know it just seems wrong any other way.other are fanfics that do narutoXsasuke.one word about them.EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!


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## wingsover (Aug 6, 2006)

narutouzumaki123 said:
			
		

> my pet peeves with fanfics is basicly anything that isnt narutoXsakura.i dont know it just seems wrong any other way.other are fanfics that do narutoXsasuke.one word about them.EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!



Please not to be bringing shipping wars/opinions into the thread.


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## Sesshoumaru (Aug 7, 2006)

I still don't understand why people like Iruka so much. Sure, he was the 1st/2nd person to recognize Naruto's existance, however, he is shown so little throughout the series that it's really hard to write about it. And an Iruka/Kakashi pairing is just lame!

I dislike yaoi/yuri in general, tolerating it when it is written to be funny. However, these people who write Iruka/Kakashi pairings just don't make any sense. Throughout the whole series, the two men have only spoken to each other a maximum of five times. When Iruka became a genin, Kakashi was a Jounin in ANBU kicking ass and taking names. Kakashi is several several years Iruka's senior. Also, Kakashi is a major heterosexual by how he reacts to certain females and his liking of Jiraiya's smut.

Iruka comes off as a yaoi character in Japanese because of his voice actor. In English, it's a different story.

Because of the above, I don't understand why there are so many Iruka/Kakashi pairing stories. And like many have said, Kakashi raping Iruka and the guy suddenly falls in love with him because he interperates the rape as an act of love is a total crock of shit. Those fan girls (and they are girls) need to get their heads checked and lay off the strawberry pocky.


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## Jenna Berry (Aug 7, 2006)

1. yaoi...I just hate it.  all of it.

2. grammer mistakes- I talk lazily on forums but if you were to see my writing something, I would give it my best, since I do have a good understanding of the english language, you should too FF writers

3. OOC- the only time I accepted OOC is in Never Cut Twice, rarely anywhere else

4. Sasuke just deciding to come back home- uh, ya, not gonna happen.  He's a power hungry ignorant fool, he won't change his mind so easily

5. [insert Akatsuki member]X[insert Konoha shinobi]...ya, pretty much self explanitory


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## Highland Dragon (Aug 7, 2006)

> I still don't understand why people like Iruka so much. Sure, he was the 1st/2nd person to recognize Naruto's existance, however, he is shown so little throughout the series that it's really hard to write about it. And an Iruka/Kakashi pairing is just lame!



Exactly! It's taken as a mainstream pairing when it clearly isn't!



> Major ooc's work when you're doing a humor fic or an AU fic but if you're seriously trying to pan-off a perverted Sasuke and not label it ooc then yeah, I agree with the above poster.



That's what I was refering too. It's obviously allowed if it's an AU differences are expected but I don't like an AU where everyone is different and there is absolutly nothing in common with the original series, the reason? It's not fanfiction then, it's an original story with the characters name taken from Naruto.


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## chaosakita (Aug 7, 2006)

*Mary Sues* - I don't mind OCs, but 99.9% of the time, they end up being 00ber powered goddesses that make bishounen of their choice fall in love with them.

*OOCness* - I like the characters how they are. kthnxbye

*Bad spelling/grammar* - I can understand some bad grammar here and there, but bad spelling? There's something called "spellcheck" that's been out for at least five years.

*Yaoi/Yuri* - I'm not against homosexuality in real life, but I don't see any subtext to support those kind of pairings.

*MPreg* - I just find it really weird.

*Lack of gen* - Why do 90% of fanfics about Gaara have to have romance in them?


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## Pyroneko 28 (Aug 7, 2006)

1) Poor spelling, grammar, and formatting - An occasional minor mistake is fine, but not errors every other sentence. It doesn't take much effort to use spell check and proofread. Also, there's no way a single gigantic block of text can be considered a story. If there aren't paragraphs, I won't read it.

2) Fan Japanese - Using Japanese for technique names is fine, but full phrases in Japanese are where I leave through the nearest exit. 

3) "I'm your friendly neighborhood Kyuubi" -  Kyuubi's a freakin' demon! He'll never say something like " I admire your will" or " I respect you" (especially since there are several times when Kyuubi has stated that Naruto is weak, or that if possible would kill/eat him). And he's certainly not training Naruto in ANY manner, shape, or form.

4) Character bashing - It's fine to not like a character, but don't make a story that consists of purely of anti-character sentiment.

5) Super Naruto - The concept of Naruto (or any character) being able to own anyone without breaking a sweat just isn't interesting. There's no excitement in fight scenes, and no challenge period.

Here's one I know someone won't agree with, but here it goes:

6) The cliched "Yondaime is Naruto's father" scene - What I mean is when every other story starts out with someone (either Kakashi or whoever supposed to raise Naruto in the story) talking to Sandaime about Naruto, then there's mention about Naruto having the same surname as Yondaime (even though Uzumaki is probably just a name given to him), then Sandaime says Naruto is Yondaime's son, and if Naruto and Yondaime don't share a surname it's because Yondaime had a lot enemies, etc. etc. 

I know many people believe Naruto is Yondaime's son, but seeing so many stories start out more or less the same way gets old fast.


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## Sesshoumaru (Aug 11, 2006)

Recent pet peave.

This Sesshoumaru dislikes authors that post story updates in their summary. Truly, how could this one find a story to ready when the summary is about the latest chapter? It is hard to find good fanfiction to amuse oneself with when this one cannot read what the story is about. No, this one shall not read a fanfiction based on the latest chapter summary. Only a fool, such as my annoying little brother, the half-breed Inuyasha, would fall for such a devious plot. These authors must be in association with that irritable half-breed Naraku.


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## Kawaii desu ne (Aug 12, 2006)

--Naruto becomes so powerful (for whatever reason: he's fused with the Kyuubi, Jiraiya taught him, he learned all the jutsus on the secret scroll) that he's just another Sasuke. He farts rasengans and everyone goes "ooh ahh".

--Pretty much any fanfic that becomes dragonball z without the flying. If you can't write combat scenes don't try.

--NaruHina SasuSaku SakuLee ItaSaku SasuNaru ItaKaka KakaIru KakaSaku I have never seen anyone write a fic with these pairings well. 

--"Eyes widen in shock" god this is the most over used expression...

--Predictable writing style in that anime experssions, mannerisms, and phrases are always repeated throughout the story. 

--Writing styles that only focus on character dialogue and combat. There's no descrption of emotions besides "shock" and awe, and the only thing described in any amout of detail is the setting in the first chapter (in the first 1-2 paragraphs).

--Long long sets of paragraphs where a character muses something while time stands still, going through hundreds of possibilities and presenting omnipresent knowledge. No one seems to understand that there is a limit to human perception and that Kakashi can't gather Naruto's father by looking at his visage.

--Everything listed in this thread.


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## wingsover (Aug 12, 2006)

Fanfiction.net's TOS needs to add this item:

- Authors are no longer allowed to even mention their number of hits/story alerts as related to their number of reviews. Authors need to stop whining and having drama about how "I had 300 people read this fic and only two people reviewed what the f*** REVIEW FOR ME!" Authors need to remember that they are not unique and special snowflakes, and they are not entitled to anything, not adulation, not betas, and not reviews.


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## Radical Dreamer (Aug 12, 2006)

wingsover said:
			
		

> Fanfiction.net's TOS needs to add this item:
> 
> - Authors are no longer allowed to even mention their number of hits/story alerts as related to their number of reviews. Authors need to stop whining and having drama about how "I had 300 people read this fic and only two people reviewed what the f*** REVIEW FOR ME!" Authors need to remember that they are not unique and special snowflakes, and they are not entitled to anything, not adulation, not betas, and not reviews.


Wow, if you think that you have no right to even be reading fiction. Believe it or not, authors aren't just there to write for your benefit. We want people to review our work and tell us their opinions on it so we can improve. If you were an author you would understand that.


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## Horu (Aug 12, 2006)

Seeing "Me and My Friend's..." at the top of this forum every time I've come here this year.


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## wingsover (Aug 12, 2006)

Radical Dreamer said:
			
		

> Wow, if you think that you have no right to even be reading fiction. Believe it or not, authors aren't just there to write for your benefit. We want people to review our work and tell us their opinions on it so we can improve. If you were an author you would understand that.



See, this is what I mean. This is FANFIC. It's a hobby. By definition it cannot be anything BUT a hobby. It's a hobby I myself have engaged in; what with more than 80 fics up, and more time than is healthy spent in writing and reading them. To be talking about rights, and privileges, and all that, about FANFIC...

Look, I appreciate the reviews I get. I get all squishy inside when people leave me nice long comments with specific quotes about what they liked in my fics, and what they would like to see, and maybe I could correct that little plothole I left in chapter three, etc. But just as "authors aren't there to write for your benefit" - readers aren't required to leave you anything. It's not like there's a toll for reading fics. Maybe the fic was so boring and lackluster it wasn't worth the time and effort to write anything about it. I mean, the fics I've found that beg for reviews or even - *snigger* 'hold hostage' the later chapters till some arbitrary 'review threshold' is breached - are always rather on the lower side of quality; and the ones that rock hard never mention "I deserve more reviews!" They may hint shamelessly that any review would be welcome...but jeez.

Reviews are not your due as an author. As a fanfic author, you do not in fact have anything due. Just be thankful that you have all those big free websites willing to host your work in the first place.


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## Sesshoumaru (Aug 12, 2006)

wingsover said:
			
		

> See, this is what I mean. This is FANFIC. It's a hobby. By definition it cannot be anything BUT a hobby. It's a hobby I myself have engaged in; what with more than 80 fics up, and more time than is healthy spent in writing and reading them. To be talking about rights, and privileges, and all that, about FANFIC...
> 
> Look, I appreciate the reviews I get. I get all squishy inside when people leave me nice long comments with specific quotes about what they liked in my fics, and what they would like to see, and maybe I could correct that little plothole I left in chapter three, etc. But just as "authors aren't there to write for your benefit" - readers aren't required to leave you anything. It's not like there's a toll for reading fics. Maybe the fic was so boring and lackluster it wasn't worth the time and effort to write anything about it. I mean, the fics I've found that beg for reviews or even - *snigger* 'hold hostage' the later chapters till some arbitrary 'review threshold' is breached - are always rather on the lower side of quality; and the ones that rock hard never mention "I deserve more reviews!" They may hint shamelessly that any review would be welcome...but jeez.
> 
> Reviews are not your due as an author. As a fanfic author, you do not in fact have anything due. Just be thankful that you have all those big free websites willing to host your work in the first place.




This Sesshoumaru agrees with this ningen. Various stories that float the disturbed paths of Fanfiction.net are interesting and do catch the eye. However, of those, there is only a small percentage that strikes this Sesshoumaru to actually review. The other trash are bland and lack that certain edge for this one to consider reviewing.


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## momolade (Aug 12, 2006)

when theyre all vampires, theyre all going to highschool, they have six conflicting pairings going on at once, and someone gets raped


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## Pyroneko 28 (Aug 12, 2006)

Some new peeves: 

*Whining about story desertion* - I understand that you like a story and want to see more, but realize sometimes an author just can't continue a story.

I remember reading this one story that was basically a super-Naruto. What was originally refreshing was that Naruto's power increase wasn't based a Kyuubi power up or a Super-OC-teacher. Its own demise came in the form of the ridiculous increase in Naruto's power-level to the point that no one from the canon universe could present a challenge, and eliminating any form of problems that could continue the story (making Sasuke lose of his fixation for revenge), which resulted in predictability and ruined all possibilities of becoming excitement. While others were upset, and left flaming reviews about it, I understood that there really no way to continue from that point.

*Reviewers saying "Update, update, update"* - Again, I understand people liking a story, but remember: Authors have lives too. They don't exist solely to write stories for you. These stories are written on their free time, and decide to share this work with us, therefore they have no obligation to update on a schedule.

*Writers saying "I'm not posting the next chapter until I reach X reviews"* - No one has to review your story. Plus, it should be enough that people would want to review without being asked. Also, by saying you'll just end up with spam reviews of "Update alreadly!" and ass kissing.

*Great stories getting ten times less reviews than some generic crap* - It's so wrong that a great story is overlooked for some generic crap. Case in point: . 

Saving Faith is an amazing, well written story that does an amazing job with characterizion. It unforunately after five wonderful chapters, has received nine reviews since its beginning on July 5, 2006. Then compare this to your average, run of the mill, story based on an overused pairing (let's say SasuSaku for this demonstration) as provided here: . This one-shot received 21 reviews, and was posted on July 24, 2006. 

WHAT THE HELL!? Something so mediocre gets more reviews than a well written piece that's existed *19 days longer*!? I could understand if it was of the same quality of a one-shot like , but not this.


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## Radical Dreamer (Aug 12, 2006)

*Adds more to his pet-peeves*

-'Uber-maki' stories. Ugh, I hate these things with a passion! Stories that have Naruto fuse with Kyuubi or something and make him into a super-nin should all be trashed unless they don't make his strength the primary facet of the fiction.

-Reviewers that only post one-word reviews. God, I hate these people. The dumbest review I've ever gotten was a 'hurrrr, update.' I swear, I almost screamed. 

-Author notes that take up half of the fiction. I can't tell you how many times I go to read a new update only to see half of it is Author notes. 

-Pairing shippers harassing authors. Now, I haven't had this problem before but I have seen it. Most of the time it's Sakura/Sasuke or Hinata/Naruto tards that attack the reviews. People, usually the author's original plot/pairing is better than what you suggest since he will be the one writing the story for it.



> Great stories getting ten times less reviews than some generic crap - It's so wrong that a great story is overlooked for some generic crap. Case in point: Saving Faith.
> 
> Saving Faith is an amazing, well written story that does an amazing job with characterizion. It unforunately after five wonderful chapters, has received nine reviews since its beginning on July 5, 2006. Then compare this to your average, run of the mill, story based on an overused pairing (let's say SasuSaku for this demonstration) as provided here: . This one-shot received 21 reviews, and was posted on July 24, 2006.
> 
> WHAT THE HELL!? Something so mediocre gets more reviews than a well written piece that's existed 19 days longer!? I could understand if it was of the same quality of a one-shot like Aqua, but not this.


I really don't think it's because of reader response for that; I think it's more about the author's reputation. I submitted a work the same day as the Sas/Sak oneshot you used as an example and I already have 162 reviews for it and it's a crack pairing. To be fair, Saving Faith uses a very obscure character for the focus and while it is extremely well-written, most people don't even know who that character is. I do recommend it to everyone that reads this post, however, as it is most excellent.


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## Pyroneko 28 (Aug 12, 2006)

Radical Dreamer said:
			
		

> -Pairing shippers harassing authors. Now, I haven't had this problem before but I have seen it. Most of the time it's Sakura/Sasuke or Hinata/Naruto tards that attack the reviews. People, usually the author's original plot/pairing is better than what you suggest since he will be the one writing the story for it.


 I'll more or less agree with this. What's even worse is when an author thinks that by catering specifically to fan demands, it will their more popular or better (sometimes at the expense of what could been a decent story). The only thing is, sometimes the author doesn't know what they're doing. Not just pairing wise, but in general. Then again, some of those people will be the ones alter their story based on fan preference.



> I really don't think it's because of reader response for that; I think it's more about the author's reputation. I submitted a work the same day as the Sas/Sak oneshot you used as an example and I already have 162 reviews for it and it's a crack pairing. To be fair, Saving Faith uses a very obscure character for the focus and while it is extremely well-written, most people don't even know who that character is. I do recommend it to everyone that reads this post, however, as it is most excellent.


 You're right the reputation part. It probably also doesn't help that one of the focus characters is someone usually called "That purple-haired ANBU girl". It still just saddens me


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## Yeko (Aug 13, 2006)

Kaylani said:
			
		

> 2. The characters' personalitites being extremely over exaggerated. Unlike some writers, I do not believe that Naruto is dumber then a doorknob. I've read some fanfics where I think my friend's guinea pig has a higher I.Q level then the one Naruto is given.


I KNOW!!!!!That pisses me off so much!



			
				Kaylani said:
			
		

> 3. Kakashi constantly being paired with an 'original character'. A.K.A a Mary-Sue. In about a third of these fanfics, the OC is either Naruto or Sasuke's long lost sister.


Wow...I feel bad now. Lol. Mine has Kakashi with Naruto's long lost cousin. But she's not a Mary Sue and none of my readers have complained yet. (She also doesn't come in till around chapter 25 of the fic). I personally only think Kakashi/OC is a problem when the couple is the main focus of the fic.



			
				Red Viking said:
			
		

> 2. Yaoi/Yuri - I really dislike yaoi/yuri fics because more often then not, the writer just takes two characters who are clearly not gay and makes them so for no reason at all.  I mean, it's OOC in its biggest form in my opinion.


Thank you! I'm glad someone else agrees with me.



			
				HellFire_UK said:
			
		

> Like most of you said above but I have another one,it is when fanfics have Sasuke returning to Konoha like nothing happened, instantly he's in a relationship with Sakura and Naruto is his best friend again, If Sasuke was brought back to Konoha he would have a long way to go to get people to trust him again.


Sakura would trust him. She wouldn't care (Love is blind). Naruto is the ultimate forgiver (Is that a word?). And I still say the seal is the main reason Sasuke went bonkers.



			
				Therahedwig said:
			
		

> when I read YAOI, I want it to be about MEN and not about breastless women with dicks...


This gets on my nerves too. It's almost like the writer isn't totally comfortable with homosexuality so they have to make it "look" like a guy and girl.



			
				wingsover said:
			
		

> Hinata no longer stutters and teases her adoring, yet sensitive husband Naruto. A well-adjusted Sasuke smiles at his confident, self-sufficient wife Sakura.


People grown and change. If you think Hinata will stutter for her entire life then you are bonkers. And I don't think Sasuke will ever be fluffy bunny boy *Shudders*, but I do think he could become semi-normal at some point.



			
				wingsover said:
			
		

> Naruto will be dense, loud and untactful.


Uh uh. He's already changing in the manga. Apparently you haven't read the recent manga or aren't paying attention.


My list (In addition to the things mentioned above):

1) Jiraiya raises Naruto from a baby  and comes back to take the Genin exam. Regardless of whether or not naruto acts the same or OOC, this plot is so over used it should have it's own catagory (And you could easily fill it)  on ff.net

2) AU fics where the only way to recognize that it's about Naruto are the character's names and personalities. Even worse, when no reasons are given for them acting the same way they do in the normal story.

3) i*c*st- It's just wrong ppl.

4) When an author doesn't start a new paragraph when they change speakers. It's very confusing.

5) SasNaru fics-  A) It's not realistic. B) Neither of them are gay and C) Everybody makes Naruto Sasuke's bitch!!!!!!

6) Fics where Sakura is a total bitch to Naruto. She is his FRIEND dammit! I actually read a fic where Sakura kicked Naruto's dead body because he failed to bring back Sasuke. WTF????

7) Rape fics. Those of you who read/write these are seriously disturbed.

8) Pedo (Shouta) fics. That's just freaking disgusting!

9) Reviewers complaining about the length of a chapter. I write fanfics, make AMVs, make custom My Little Ponies (Anime ones at that), make fandubs and a radioplay of my Naruto fic. And I do it all in my free time dammit! Yet all ppl can do is say "Wow, this was a short chapter. Please make the next one longer. What...2.5k words every 2 weeks isn't enough for you? not to mention I have a 5 year old daughter and a husband who need me for God's sake!

10) Bad grammar/spelling

11) Naruto could NOT become a complete asshole. It's not in his nature. 

12) NaruHina fics where Naruto goes from barely noticing Hinata to playing tonsle hockey with her in the space of 2 paragraphs. Love takes time ppl.


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## Guardsman Bass (Aug 13, 2006)

I agree that it is a pity that "Saving Faith" isn't getting more reviews, especially since the author is doing a good job at characterization (except for Genma, who seems slightly baudier than in the manga), and the writing style is pleasant. With that in mind, I'll add one more pet peeve:

1. *Shipping*. Frankly, in most of these cases, the ship analogy is perversely appropriate in the fact that, like a real ship, an 'almost floats' doesn't cut it.


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## wingsover (Aug 13, 2006)

Songbird21 said:
			
		

> People grown and change. If you think Hinata will stutter for her entire life then you are bonkers. And I don't think Sasuke will ever be fluffy bunny boy *Shudders*, but I do think he could become semi-normal at some point.



Give justification please. Hinata's been proven, if anything, in the manga, to be _more _stuttery and nervous than ever. If Kishimoto writes her as more assured and gives me background on how she got over her dehibilitatingly bad problems with self-confidence, _then _I'll retract my statement. Same with Sasuke 'I don't care if I give my body away to a madman' Uchiha. 

Some fanfiction authors give Sasuke and Hinata enough background and keep enough of their original character to make this believable. Most don't.



> Uh uh. He's already changing in the manga. Apparently you haven't read the recent manga or aren't paying attention.



I love Naruto to bits, and I agree that the major point of the manga - not only in Part 2, but since the beginning, like how Naruto becomes more and more powerful and gains more and more respect - a development sadly undermined by the fillers - is his growth and change. However, his basic character traits remain the same, which is good, because I don't want to read a god-boy or a Sasuke clone anyway. 


*Spoiler*: _Case in point_ 



 He's still loud and enthusiastic, re: his training with Kakashi. This does NOT equate to buffoonery, it just means he's not shy about saying when he's happy about something.

He's still a tad blunt and untactful, as when he demands of Kakashi while the guy is in his hospital-bed, and his reactions to Sai's admittedly even more blunt and untactful self. 




I actually think we agree on several points, like Naruto's non-asshole-ness, Sakura's non-bitchiness, and the war on OOC.


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## JokerDemon (Aug 13, 2006)

1- When everything is pushed into one giant block of text, so space anywhere.

2- Incorrect grammar, and no attempt to get better.

3- telling people they're not going to post again until they get however many reviews.

4- OOC's with incorrect grammar. (I'm okay with OOC's because I wouldn't want people clouding my thread with 'Why are you not posting?' I'd rather just tell them I was going on vacation then have them pissing theirselves

5- thanking people for leaving good reviews. Thank them by writing more.

6- Commentary. Like in the middle of the story where you say (Oh, by the way, She's had this disease for two years). Just let the story unfold. If you can't put it into the story, don't write about it.


----------



## Kaze-no-Yaiba (Aug 13, 2006)

Hmmm...well, let's see...

- _High School Fics:_ Oh. My. God. I really friggin' hate all this continuous "Naruto goes to high school" crap. It's the most annoying thing EVER. If I want high school drama, I'll watch Degrassi or one of those other shows. But leave Naruto alone. Seriously.

- _Non-Existent Pairings:_ I hate it when people use these random pairings that will _never_ happen. The only place I find it acceptable is for humor fics. I find it extremely annoying when people actually buy into these pairings in which the two shipped characters have never even INTERACTED _(*cough*SasuHina*cough*)_.

- _OOC:_ Sure, it's fine for comedic purposes. But if it's used in a story that's meant to be serious, I'll get really annoyed.

- _i*c*st:_ ...Stop with all this Itachi/Sasuke and Hinata/Neji and whatever. It's just wrong.

- _Grammar/spelling/paragraphs:_ I'm one of those people who are really obsessive compulsive about grammar in fanfiction, so if there are too many mistakes, I won't read it. Same for those stories in which the entire chapter is mushed all into one ridiculously gigantic paragraph.

And there ya have it, folks.


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## Yeko (Aug 13, 2006)

Kaze-no-Yaiba said:
			
		

> - _Non-Existent Pairings:_ I hate it when people use these random pairings that will _never_ happen. The only place I find it acceptable is for humor fics. I find it extremely annoying when people actually buy into these pairings in which the two shipped characters have never even INTERACTED _(*cough*SasuHina*cough*)_.


Yeah. SasuHina is just weird. Where the hell did that one come from?



			
				wingsover said:
			
		

> Give justification please. Hinata's been proven, if anything, in the manga, to be _more _stuttery and nervous than ever.


She's just seen the boy she loves for the first time in almost 3 yeas. Give the girl a break.



			
				wingsover said:
			
		

> I love Naruto to bits, and I agree that the major point of the manga - not only in Part 2, but since the beginning, like how Naruto becomes more and more powerful and gains more and more respect - a development sadly undermined by the fillers - is his growth and change. However, his basic character traits remain the same, which is good, because I don't want to read a god-boy or a Sasuke clone anyway.


Of course his base personality will stay the same. I thought you were saying he would never improve.



			
				wingsover said:
			
		

> I love Naruto to bits, and I agree that the major point of the manga - not only in Part 2, but since the beginning, like how Naruto becomes more and more powerful and gains more and more respect - a development sadly undermined by the fillers - is his growth and change. However, his basic character traits remain the same, which is good, because I don't want to read a god-boy or a Sasuke clone anyway.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: _Case in point_
> ...



*Spoiler*: _Case in point_ 



Yay! We agree on some stuff! Lol.


----------



## wingsover (Aug 13, 2006)

Songbird21 said:
			
		

> She's just seen the boy she loves for the first time in almost 3 yeas. Give the girl a break.



It's not so much me hating on Hinata as it is this: Hinata, like most of the other characters, retain a lot of their base personality. Naruto has always flustered her, and Kishi's proven that he continues to do so. SO. 

When writing fics, don't have her suddenly acting like Ino or Temari - UNLESS you give good justification. Which would have to be pretty damn good justification to pull off a personality change like THAT.

Good fic: 

*explaining how Hinata's been gaining confidence*

*Hinata sees Naruto*

*Hinata maybe stutters a little, blushes - generally acts like herself, but manages to make a realistic, non-Where-the-F***-did-this-come-from? connection*

Bad fic:

*Hinata shows up wearing skimpy clothes and trying to seduce Naruto* 

*Naruto Suddenly Realizes he's loved her all along* 

*They make out then have like twenty babies* 




> Of course his base personality will stay the same. I thought you were saying he would never improve.



Oh no, that's not what I meant at all. I think he's definitely going to improve - improve past all believing - and come on, he's going to be Hokage one day! Believe it! ^_^ 

But the Hokage he'll one day be will be a loud, outspoken, maybe-too-honest Hokage. Which is okay because he'll have the power - and unconscious charm, as even Kakashi pointed out - to back it up.


----------



## Yeko (Aug 13, 2006)

wingsover said:
			
		

> Bad fic:
> 
> *Hinata shows up wearing skimpy clothes and trying to seduce Naruto*
> 
> ...


Now that is scary. Lol. 

I spent twenty-two chapters slowly getting them closer together before _Naruto_ was the one to ask her to be his girlfriend. Lol. And then it took twelve more chapters for her to tell Naruto she loves him and he responds with "I like you a lot, but I don't know if it's love.". I take my time with relationships. It's much more satisfying if the road to the prize is longer.  And I've made it so Hinata still stutters on occasion, but she's growing more confident.



			
				wingsover said:
			
		

> Believe it! ^_^


Oh ewwwwww! Why oh why must you use the dub words. *Shudders*


----------



## Sesshoumaru (Aug 14, 2006)

Songbird21 said:
			
		

> Oh ewwwwww! Why oh why must you use the dub words. *Shudders*



Because it's just awesome...

BELIEVE IT!

Recent crack pairing I found that is just plain dumb.

Yondaime x Sakura

Now, Sakura goes back in time via jutsu. Looks like a Sakura version of Tsunade, big boobage and all. Yondaime, 18 years old, finds her and is enthrawled by her beauty. Sakura thinks he looks like Naruto, hears he is named UZUMAKI Arashi (not a canon naming of him) and, again, thinks he LOOKS almost exactly like Naruto.

Now, my pet peeve is:  If you have a character like Sakura whom is very intelligent, wouldn't she put 2 + 2 to = 4? UZUMAKI + Looks exactly like Naruto = Naruto's old man?

So, she goes gah-gah over him. Introducing YondixSaku pairing.


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## Yeko (Aug 14, 2006)

Sesshoumaru said:
			
		

> Because it's just awesome...
> 
> BELIEVE IT!


*Runs away screaming* AHHHHHHHHUUUGGHHHHH!


----------



## Guardsman Bass (Aug 14, 2006)

Perhaps this should be a Reverse-Peeve, but whatever.

*Hyuugacest Hate*. Frankly, I don't see what is so wrong about limited 'hyuugacest' (meaning NejiHina generally, NOT HanabiHerDad). Considering they come from a traditional noble-ish family with a bloodline trait, it seems pretty likely that they would be breeding amongst themselves, marrying first cousins and the like.


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## DMC (Aug 24, 2006)

Guardsman Bass said:
			
		

> Perhaps this should be a Reverse-Peeve, but whatever.
> 
> *Hyuugacest Hate*. Frankly, I don't see what is so wrong about limited 'hyuugacest' (meaning NejiHina generally, NOT HanabiHerDad). Considering they come from a traditional noble-ish family with a bloodline trait, it seems pretty likely that they would be breeding amongst themselves, marrying first cousins and the like.



You killed the thread with that 

Anyways I just found one story on FF.net, that had a pretty intresting summary, I mean it wasn't corny and it was well written (Complete sentences! My standards are so low!) but I go to the word count and it is about 200 words...but the story it describes couldn't possibly be told with only 200 words. But behold, somehow this author managed to accomplish it...

So I'm left with a little peice of writing...that is barely a teaser, and the Author has the audacity to ask for a review...for 200 words (1/3 of which was A/N)...

It is just a pain in the ass really. I wish I never even opened the link.


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## PsyBomb (Aug 24, 2006)

Artificial inflation is my newest one. What is this? Well, look to this board for the newest example.

Posting each (TINY) piece of your fic, including two of them being data points, as its own thread seems unneccesary, you know? Same goes to places like FFN. I see a nice chapter count and head in for an expected hour or two of reading, and find that each chapter is sub-drabble length, and the six billion chapters total about 5k words put together (1k being A/N).

Sole exception to this rule is someone who introduces their fic as a collection of drabbles. Case and point is the first half of , one of my favorite NaruHina fics. Though the writing style deteriorates rapidly after number 30 or so, these are truly GOOD pieces before that.


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## Ucal (Aug 24, 2006)

I just realized:  I love crappy fanfiction!  It inspires me to write. (though they haven't inspired me to finish the first chapter yet.)

What qualifies as crap?  
Bad romance.  Naruhina and sasusaku mostly.  And narusaku.  
Its not the pairings I hate.  Its the fact that to get these pairings to work, most authors will just make sasuke pull a 180 personality wise, come to regret his obsession with his brother, and start dressing in a big red suit every december 25th and hand out presents to good little children.  Same with Hinata.  Suddenly she's a hot horny girl whose themesong is "these boots were made for walkin'  "  Or Naruto suddenly realizes that after x number of years of ignoring hinata, he has feelings for her.

Narusaku isn't that bad, mainly because there is some developement for it in the manga. (just as there was for Sasusaku, but sasuke killed that when he left for Oro) But those authors are guilty of it too.  

Its okay if these authors actually develope these relationships in a nice realistic way, but a few days isn't enough of a timeline.

I've already said this , but I hate high school fics.  They don't even start with characters in character.  

Finally I hate stupidity.  Not on the part of the characters, but on the part of the author.    And Namblacest (naruto x yondaime)  It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will someday.


----------



## Just Another human (Aug 24, 2006)

haha i dont really think i have any but if i do ill let ya know =)


----------



## Radical Dreamer (Aug 24, 2006)

A True Radical Dreamer's Pet Peeves; version 3.0

Some new ones I want to mention!

-*Extremely popular fandom or canon pairings in lame oneshots. *I am so sick of reading the the same old thing. Tema/Shika, Neji/Tenten, Naru/Hina, and Sasu/Saku sucks, it's time people realize this. It is so over-done it's been burnt to a crisp. If you are thinking of doing a one-shot with any of those pairings, don't! There are hordes of longer and better fictions than yours out there so just read one of them instead. It will save you writing time and unsuspecting people reading time.

-*Ubermaki stories.* These are just pathetic. What is the point of having Naruto even fight if he can just look at someone the wrong way and kill them? It's not fun, it's not creative, it's just pure, undiluted suck. 

-*Self-inserts or taking the characters out of the Narutoverse and having them live in your house.* I actually sat down to read one of these last week but I found I couldn't. It made me physically ill to read this type of slop, it really did. You, the author, are not an interesting person; thus why you are watching a show like Naruto. If you were interesting enough to put into fan fiction, you would have your own genre at Fan Fiction.net, which you don't. Seriously, stop writing this. 

-*Crazy yaoi fan girls who can't write worth a crap.* How these girls can actually sit down and write a 10,000 drabble on how Sasuke suddenly came to love Naruto with absolutely no plot development is beyond me. These are the types of people that need to be outlawed from doing creative things. Really, these are the people who made Kakashi and Iruka fanon when those two characters never had any real conversation/interaction; it's scary.

-*Crack pairings that have no development.* If you don't write a back-story then don't write the rest. The 'AU' tag only goes so far, people, it doesn't give you the right to resurrect Kimimaro or Haku just to pair them up with someone. 

-*People who do one-word reviews or harass an author.* This is my big one. 'Update soon!' isn't a review, it's not even a sentence. If you take the time to read a fiction, take the time to write some intelligent feed-back if you wish to say something. Otherwise, just stay quiet.


----------



## DMC (Aug 24, 2006)

My newest Pet Peeve: Naruto Ultra Sympathy Fics

I'm talking about a fic that basically begins pretty average, and then a pattern begins to form. Naruto is pretty docile (much more than he is in canon) and everyone else in the fic are...fucking out of their minds!

Most of them start with a flashback, where Naruto is a sweet innocent little kid. Then out of nowhere someone just decides to start kicking his ass (Because orphans get their asses handed to them on the streets of Konoha daily  ). Not to mention that this person is usually an Anbu member, and they will spout out lines like "You will pay for what you did Demon!" or "I will avenge my family you monster!". This usually ends when either 1) the pairing male/female who is older comes to the rescue or 2) Naruto snaps...we get some crappy Kyubi dialogue, and after the incident Naruto and Kyuubi become best buds.

The author then takes their chance to demofiy the other members of Team 7. Sakura is an unholy bitch who would rather lick the sweat off of Sasukes @$%*s than take a glass of water from Naruto. Sasuke is...well Sasuke(He is usually knocked out so I can't say much). Kakashi is an bastard, who has the same amount of obsession for Sasuke as Sakura did in Part I of the manga. Also he thinks Naruto is a complete idiot that is lucky enough to know how to breathe (not far off from canon but Kakashi doesn't say it out loud).

Naruto is shown to be highly intellegent (I mean I am on the side of Naruto not being a total idiot but come on...even I know he can't think this abstractly) and he will go off on inner monologue rants about his miserable life.

Kyuubi comforts Naruto (using nicknames like "Kit") and Naruto finds solace in Hinata/Whoever. 

The one scene that happens in all of them goes like this. Naruto succeeds in bringing Sasuke back from the VotE or Orochimaru depending on the time frame. Right when he walks through the gates (battered and bruised for emotional tension) a character like Sakura and/or Ino comes and berates him for hurting "Sasuke-kun" and may even hit him. Either way they end up leaving him in the dirt while rushing Sasuke to a hospital or something. Meanwhile the villagers who up and attack Naruto for some reason (I find it strange how most of the time this ties in with Sasuke) and Kakashi is baffled that Naruto was able to do anything.

Look I'm all for Naruto, he is one of my favorite characters, but what these author's do kills his character about as much as it kills the other charachters. Making him off as some kind of victim goes agaisnt what Naruto is all about, and that is always looking for a way to better himself.

It is just crappy fanfiction


----------



## Ucal (Aug 25, 2006)

I found it!  An example of namblacest!  Granted, the author might not have the 4th related to Naruto but, I'm not going to read that far into the story.

  by 

Sometimes you can tell just by looking. How it all began and how the past reflects the future? 4th HokagexOCXNaruto


----------



## PsyBomb (Aug 26, 2006)

Heh, this is getting a bit sad...

I read this entire thread, and I check it out each time I see a new post. I set what I see agreed on here down in my head, determined to follow those rules.

Then, the second I write my next fic, I find myself breaking several of them.

The link for Tears is in my sig. It has short chapters (not done yet, but at this rate it'll be less than a week), some overpower, and a major bit of OOC-ness. However, the short chapters lend to a "snapshot" feel to the fic, the overpower is due to a near-suicidal rage, and the OOC stuff comes out of the base plot. Whatever it is, the story is my best-recieved to date.

Funny, how things work out, ya?


----------



## Radical Dreamer (Aug 26, 2006)

Ucal said:
			
		

> I found it!  An example of namblacest!  Granted, the author might not have the 4th related to Naruto but, I'm not going to read that far into the story.
> 
> by
> 
> Sometimes you can tell just by looking. How it all began and how the past reflects the future? 4th HokagexOCXNaruto


You have got to be f'ing kidding me. Yondaime, Naruto, AND a super-powered OC? That is like, all of my peeves wrapped-up into one incredible train wreck.


----------



## Deleted member 63734 (Sep 13, 2006)

First of all, thank god there are threads like this. The new breed of Naruto fanfic writers really just make me sick and it's hard to even find a single decent fanfic nowadays. I'm sick of:

- the fact that every single fanfic is just about couples. Couples are only okay when they make sense but when it's only about couples...oh god. Where's the story?!!!
- The fanfics are too inaccurate in the naruto world period. Like Naruto having and sister and this person having a brother and couples that just won't ever happen.
- making characters gay for no apparent reason and making characters do stupid stuff which would never happen (example: Sasuke ever choosing love over his goal).
- Uchihacest....nuff said.
- But the ultimate big one is what OC's have escalated to. Or moreover SI's and Mary Sue's. Now, I'm a bit more flexible b/c OC's can be a bit fun to do. I've done OC's but usually I give OC's a pretty big background and give them a purpose of why they are the way they are. AND EVERY OC I have ever done has a major weakness that will end up biting them back pretty hard. I make sure that they OC's do not overshadow the central characters. OC's in my book should be balanced well enough in concordance to the Narutoverse. Everyone knows those horrible OC types....

1. They are amazingly over powered. As if they have no weakness whatsoever. 
2. Majority of OC's are girls whose only purpose is to hook up with their favorite bishi's (hence the SI's). They are perfect and tough and beautiful and can do no wrong, blah blah blah
3. They have either no good background or they have a crappy explanation of why they are so amazing and the way they are.
4. They have no depth whatsoever.

an example: 

- all the fanfics with predictable plots and basically all the stuff that was previously said.


----------



## Jenna Berry (Sep 13, 2006)

I've found a new peeve-

NaruHina

Too many reasons to list why I don't like it, but it's so overdone that it's getting ridiculous.

(*points to message in sig*)


----------



## wingsover (Sep 13, 2006)

Randomly: 

Aside from Sakura, whose Inner Self is hilarious, other characters should NOT hold conversations in their heads with 'their Inner Selves', which they don't have. Ino specifically points out that Sakura's Inner is an abnormality. Also, all the Inners ever do is say, "Oh you know you find her cute/think he's hot/want to sleep with her." 

Well, except if they provide a reasonable background. Even then it's iffy.


----------



## Kenpachi Goobpachi (Sep 13, 2006)

i hates time paradox's


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## shendaime (Sep 17, 2006)

I don't have problems with fanfictions but there is a few

1.when i get yelled at cause i dont like naruhina and sasusaku. strange pairings are more intresting 

2. when fan girls miss use yaoi. i get some of it but i saw one that was narukono. i mean c'mon 

3. to many oc. i read a naruto's kids fic that every chapter they add an oc even if we dont know the parents


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## Wilykat (Sep 17, 2006)

One more I forgot: Sasuke gets rescued, returned to Konoha and everything's all well.  Yeah right...

Feedback hostage: refusing to update until xx reviews have been posted is just bad IMO.  The reviews shouldn't be used to boost your ego.

MIA author.  Some good fanfics are never completed and author goes MIA for no reason.  Maybe cuz they didn't get enough reviews?  Maybe cuz some reviews are nasty.

Reviewers who tries to steer the story their way.  If I am going to write one, I will do it *MY WAY!!!*  I won't make it NaruHina cuz 20 peeeps asked for it.  I won't make Naruto assassinate Orochimaru cuz 20 reviewers demanded it.  If the reviewers don't like the way my fanfiction is heading, they can write their own for all I care.  

Requests are ignored.  If I am seeking good idea(s) for a fanfiction I will ask for it, not before.

I do read reviews on my fanfics for things like typo and problem that I overlooked but I'll ignore requests, demands, etc.  I have anonymous review disabled, there is no reason for this other than to hide the flamer's identity.


----------



## Sesshoumaru (Sep 18, 2006)

Some people are pissed off at me because I'm not doing any popular pairings.

Or pairings at all.

Suckers.


----------



## Therahedwig (Sep 18, 2006)

Wilykat said:
			
		

> Misuse of Japanese words. For example, I've seen the word "hentai" used a lot but those are not correct word for pervert, ero is the right one. How the term hentai got to be associated with perverted I'll never know but it had to be a mistranslation that never went away.


Actually, hentai is a correct term. But it's more of a 'you godamn pervert' rather then 'dude, your a pervert'

Or at least, I got that idea from the explaination of one of the translators on this forum(I think Ntj or is it Njt?...) about those two words.
He said that 'hentai' would be used by girls when groped(remember the scene in which that happend to sakura, I think she should have said that too...)
while ero is the more common word.

That said, not to be an ass, but you are being so clear on grammar, yet you make grammar mistakes...


> I've seen the word "hentai" used a lot but *those are*(that is) not correct (the) word for pervert


Usually I'm not to strict on this, but with your little rant of some moments ago, it doesn't help you prove your point if you make those mistakes yourself, don't you think?


----------



## Wilykat (Sep 18, 2006)

(snip)


			
				Therahedwig said:
			
		

> That said, not to be an ass, but you are being so clear on grammar, yet you make grammar mistakes...
> 
> Usually I'm not to strict on this, but with your little rant of some moments ago, it doesn't help you prove your point if you make those mistakes yourself, don't you think?



Well, I tended to get a little lazy on forums.  It's not like I can find a beta to check my rant before posting it.  Oh well.


----------



## Pyroneko 28 (Sep 18, 2006)

Ucal said:
			
		

> And Namblacest (naruto x yondaime)  It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will someday.


 If you count Uncle/Nephew it already has: If you go to fanfiction.net, type "Hiashi Neji" into the search engine and scroll down and click on Secrets of the Byakugan, you'll see what I mean. HiashiNeji is some frightening stuff right there..


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## Therahedwig (Sep 19, 2006)

Wilykat said:
			
		

> (snip)
> 
> 
> Well, I tended to get a little lazy on forums.  It's not like I can find a beta to check my rant before posting it.  Oh well.


I understand, but it had something really ironic about it, and I couldn't stop myself from pointing it out, I hope you don't mind


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## Kenpachi Goobpachi (Nov 4, 2006)

i hate rape fics and mary sues


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## des_butterfly (Nov 8, 2006)

Kotonoro said:


> 1) SasuNaru that has Naruto as a wimpering, crying uke. WTF. Have any of these people seen Naruto? He nevers gives up or gives in-if anything, considering that Sasuke's so repressed all the time, it's highly likely that Naruto would initiate most things.
> 
> 2) Sakura-bashing. So stupid. She's crucial.
> 
> ...




I was going to make my own list of pet-peeves, but then I realized that Kotonoro-san did it for me.  ^_^


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## Calenchamien (Jun 13, 2007)

I'm actually surprised to see that no one has mentioned this yet (or at least, no one on the first 3/4 of the first page - I got tired of seeing OOC/Yaoi/spelling/grammar/etc. over and over again, so I kind of stopped reading) 

So, ignoring all those other things that basically everyone gets annoyed at:
When Naruto is forced to leave Konoha for [insert random, crappy reason here] and comes back with a deep abiding hatred of everyone there. 
And totally kicks everyone's asses, and everyone thinks 'omg... his life was so horrible... I'm the lowest kind of scum in existence for not standing up and defending him when it was happening'. 

Nevermind the fact that Naruto didn't _want_ them to know, and the fact that there are a lot of people in Konoha that he _does_ like, and that this is _Naruto_ and he couldn't hold a grudge against anyone in Konoha if his life depended on it.... 

Oh no. He goes away and finds a place where everyone magically accepts him for who he is, and doesn't mind at all that there's a demon in his stomach that can and will brutally murder everyone in the vicinity if Naruto screws up. And then he comes back with a gilted-lover syndrome worse than in _Gone With the Wind_... and a whole lot of Harlequin romances... combined. And everyone feels horrible.

I mean, this is _Naruto_. I'm not he _has_ the capability to be that hateful. He's just too good: Unless you do something _really_ horrible, like say, trying to kill him, repeatedly, and then drag his friends into the mess, I highly doubt he will ever be able to hate anyone.

So yeah. Fics like that.

As for yaoi, I can see it if it's done right. If they change the characters to make it work, or draw off stuff 'in the series' that just isn't there, I can't read the fic. 
Although some characters... I watch the series, and I think 'if they are not sleeping together, they totally should be'. Of course, I do that with het. pairings too, so that's not much indication.

Um... okay, last thing: Mortal enemies suddenly discovering that they're in love, at least, falling in love anywhere near the series timeline. And this applies to any and all fandoms. Harry/Draco? Totally not going to happen. Riddick/Wulia? Ew. God forbid: Sakura/Deidara! Just no! Not going to happen! Ever!


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## ShangDOh (Jun 13, 2007)

Highschool Fics - ya know the ones where all the gang are in a high school type setting. Honestly, who came up with this crap? If I wanted to read about teenage drama and the perils of the high school scene, I would turn on the TV and watch Save by the Bell or something. 

Badly written romances - typically the NaruHina and SasuSaku types are the most common suspects with a splattering of NaruSaku thrown in there for good measure. I can predict with frightening accuracy the plots of most of the "romance" fics of FFnet. Usually they go something like this

Naruto notices Hinata

Hinata opens up to Naruto

Relationship blossoms

They have badly written sex

and finally they get married and have bunch of brats

The same goes for the other pairings...

And finally, Naruto/Harry Potter crossovers really annoy me, I don't know why, I just don't like em.


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## Sapwood2 (Jul 3, 2007)

1. Naruto meets USA (or any other first world country) fanfiction.
Face it, the USA (or any other part of our world) does not exist in Naruto, as no place on Earth is like Naruto's world.

2. Using Naruto characters as a cast for your own little story, which more likely than not is put in the present (2007) and has guns, cars, airplanes, etc.. Then, to add insult to injury, you decide to make everyone a pansy that can't do ninja moves, and are just ordinary people with the same name as the Naruto characters.

3. Video Game crossovers with Naruto
This will not work with any video game, except Final Fantasy and WOW (I have no clue why, but I guess the worlds are similar enough. It doesn't change the fact that I despise those stories almost as much, but the reviews tell otherwise, even know I especially want WOW to die!)

4. Kyuubi is like a best friend to Naruto fics
Kyuubi does not act like a 15-year-old! He will not say "dude". He will not comfort Naruto like a friend. He would rather kill him and mutilate his corpse, and then eat him. (Though, I can stand ones where Kyuubi helps Naruto to progress his own agenda, but it backfires)

5. Weapons of the Modern Age
Naruto characters will not have a "street sweeper" or a "deagle"! How the hell would they even know the names of these weapons? They were invented in our time, and Naruto has no gun manufacturers. IMI, H&K, Colt, Beretta, Browning, and the others do not exist! Thank gosh I haven't read one with nuclear weapons in it yet! I just recently found one where the Sound acquired "ancient" bombs and missiles. They even found a Bazooka (which isn't in use in our time, learn the correct word: rocket launcher) The Sound can not replicate our weapons, as they would need oil refineries, Oil Drills, pipelines, Launch systems, and military-grade microchips to operate these things. All of which are not existent in the Narutoverse. (They have everything we have, except our weapons, computers, automobiles, planes, and all the things required to make them!)


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## Dogma (Jul 3, 2007)

It's probably already been said, but seeing as this thread is pretty old....

~Lame OC's

I'm alittle more forgiving on the Mary-Stu's and Gary-Stu's. But I swear if another long lost relative of someone in the Narutoverse pops up I'm going to lose it.

~Long Pointless Chapters

(Speaks for itself)

~Konoha being destroyed.

It's probably a superpower around the Narutoverse, but how often it gets destroyed you'd think the whole village is made out of paper-mache

~Unexplainable Naruto x Harem

I don't mind the occasional Mating Season-esque kind of fic. But for the most part, alot of writers just make everyone more attracted to no where to him. Which is a pain. If it has a good reason, then I don't mind it, but if it doesn't then it's noting but an annoyance.

~Garden Variety Naru x Hinata, and Sasuke x Sakura.

It's been done a million times now. 

Hinata is shy, Naruto is oblivious, Sasuke is a jerk, and Sakura is probably the most normal. So they decide to take them and put them into together, in the most cliche of manners.

I don't mind the pairings, but the guys suddenly realizing that they've been in love with that person, or the girls having a sudden change of character is just too annoying to deal with. Something truly original would be a nice breath of fresh air.


~I'm done for now, lol. But there's definitely alot more if anyone thought about it.~


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## yukito (Jul 8, 2007)

I saw a story from a long time ago where an average person gets sucked into the Naruto world and can kick everyone's ass because they took martial arts lessons or something. I was really hoping it was a crackfic, some kind of joke... no 12-year old girl can take on Rock Lee with those puny martial arts classes they have in our *real* world.

And the English names are inexcusable. Imagine all these Japanese voices yelling a name like Amanda or something. Just an example I thought of... if your character's name is Amanda. ^^;


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## Sapwood2 (Jul 8, 2007)

Martial arts in the real world aren't puny, are they? 

Well, if you think so, you can't call our weapons of war puny...


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## yukito (Jul 9, 2007)

Compared to Rock Lee? Yeah, I don't think anyone in OUR world could beat Rock Lee in martial arts (taijutsu! ^^), unfortunately. This guy outruns automatic sand... he wears leg weights that break rocks when dropped. Unless you bring along some kinda gun or something, it's not gonna work. o.O


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## Sapwood2 (Jul 10, 2007)

Well, Lee is the exception to the rule.

You would need a freakin' laser cannon with a long burst shot to kill him! You know the kind that cuts things in two.


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## Lethe (Jul 17, 2007)

Hey look at that it's my very first post and I'm already complaining. This thread put me in such a good mood I thought I'd share. On the topic of pet peeves - Crossover's in general are just wrong, but never in my life did I think I would see...It's just too horrible leave out in the open.


*Spoiler*: __ 




a Naruto/Sailor Moon Crossover...never





But I suppose I should never be surprised by anything I find on FF.net


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## Pinkfloyd697 (Jul 18, 2007)

Bad Grammer and spelling so bad you can't tell what it is supposed to be.


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## MSkyDragons (Jul 18, 2007)

1. Reviewers that somehow mangage to review my fic without using any words at all! I kid you not. No less than 3 people have reviewed my fic with nothing but:



> O_o



What does that even MEAN? That tells me nothing!

2. Readers that ask questions in reviews which are fully and completely answered within the fanfic itself, whether it be in the text or in a short author note at the bottom of one of the chapters. Not reading very carefully, now were we?


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## Sapwood2 (Jul 18, 2007)

I see a lot of emoticons (the old term for "smilies") in reviews (I sometimes read them to see what the author was replying to in the AN). It's stupid, and has no place in the "serious" portion of the internet. A lot of game servers will ban you for that on an unrelated note...

Keep up the work on Mating Frenzy, hehe...


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## Capacity (Jul 19, 2007)

mine would be pairing characters up without development and such.


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## HO-OH (Jul 27, 2007)

1.super naruto
2.high school fics
3.a side pairing 4 the sake of the main one(ex.main pairing narusaku side pairing sasuhina)
4.over exageraterated traits,come on narutos no that dumb,hinata dosent studder,blush or faint all the time,sakura isnt always hiting naruto and sasuke isnt emo


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## Gecka (Jan 20, 2008)

Jeez, don't you know not to bump old, and dead Threads?


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## Freakz (Apr 6, 2008)

Uhg, Pet Peeves! I have a lot of those!

Stories written in present tense: "Naruto is walking through Konoha"
Fics where one character has a thought about another being good looking, then suddenly stops and thinks "Wait! Did I just say that?"
Fics where the thoughts of a character are not separated by any type of symbol of font change. It's annoying when you're reading, and suddenly a person is thinking, without any warning, (Naruto sighed, this is annoying he thought to himself) Seriously! Italics work great in those points!
Constant grammar mistakes
He said/She said fics ("That's great" he said, "yeah it is" she said "I'm happy for you" he said, "Thanks" she said) Seriously, add some detail, and use names for crying out loud!
Fics that are nothing but dialogue.
OOC-Ness
Self-Inserts, and the like
Over-Used plots
A writer not explaining certain things, and then just assuming you're going to know what they're talking about
Non-A/U fics, where the canon plot is changed because the fanfic author didn't like something. (i.e. Someone being in alive in the fic, when in the canon they were killed, because the author felt like ignoring what had happened.) At least make a reason for the change, and not just ignore it.
People using Babel-Fish or some other translator to come up with Japanese phrases, in a (FAILED) attempt to make the fic more realistic
When a plot just doesn't make sense
Fics where a characters traits are exaggerated, (like making Naruto a complete and utter moron)
TyPinG liKE ThIs (It's just stupid, and I'm tired of seeing fics that have great potential as far as the plot goes, completely ruined by that crap!)
This one is pretty much like the last, but where people type like they are text messaging someone: ("Naruto, r u thr?" she askd)
Constant author notes throughout the fic. (If you want to make a comment, put a number in parenthesis and post the info on the bottom, and only do that if you MUST)
The author "pulling pranks" on the readers (THEN NARUTO DIED!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA! JUST KIDDING. OKAY ON WITH THE STORY!) WHAT IS THE POINT?!
Believe me, I have a lot more where those came from.


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## wingsover (Oct 1, 2008)

What's wrong with fics in the present tense?


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## Genkun (Feb 5, 2009)

From what I've read, it seems most people have the same pet peeves.  I do not share some of them, but I can't say I do not see the logic behind them.  Anyway, here are mine.

1. Grammar.  If you can't learn to spell check, and end sentences, don't write.  I understand situations liket his, because sometimes computers lag, and the space is added later.  But completely botching a word, or doing that every ten words makes the story hard to be read.
2. Most Yaoi.  I have read some interesting Yaoi, though I don't necessarily like them, some are ok reads.  But they are too common!  And SasuNaru and KakaIru are just... wrong!
3. Major OOC, without AU.  If it's an AU story, it's acceptable.  If it's you remodeling a character as a basis for a story, like... Intelligent Naruto stories, then that is acceptable.  But making Sasuke a good, kind person, or Hinata a cruel, outspoken person, without a reason does not work.  Those are too much.
4. Super!XXX and Godlike!XXX.  NO!  Character development people.  If the character just suddenly gets Godlike powers, they are too much!  If you want them to be powerful, be realistic.  A character must train, suffer, and grow to become more than what they are to begin with.  So if you have, let's say Naruto for now, become powerful because he trained for years, good.  But don't make him overly such, and don't compare power-levels.  Like... most say "Genin-level" "chuunin-level" "Jounin-level" "Kage-level".  WHAT ARE THOSE!?  Every character is different, and has different levels for each skill.  Example: Kakashi and Gai are rivals, but if you compare them, Kakashi is more skilled in Nin and Gen-jutsu.  Where as Gai is faster and stronger.  There is no set level! (Sorry for ranting on this)
5. Stories with no Plot.  I will admit, I have made very few fanfiction, and can barely make one myself, but I know how to identify plot.  I usually just get sidetracked >.> Anyway, plots make the story, comedy, action, romance, etc. add to it.  Keep it that way.


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## RandomAnbu (Jun 19, 2009)

My biggest pet peeve? When someone writes a horrible story on purpose just to get attention.


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## sinthetique (Jul 9, 2009)

To name a few:
1. I hate when terrible writers (you know, the ones with horrible grammar and no plot) get hundreds of reviews while actual writers, those who take time with their stories and respect the English language, don't get any at all.
2. Poor characterization.
3. Writers who demand a certain number of reviews and threaten to not post the next chapter if their quota isn't met.


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## Morphine (Jul 9, 2009)

1. HUGE paragraphs. How am I supposed to read this?
2. A lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. Check!
3. Present tense. I don't get it. Confuses me.
4. OOC characters just to make the pairing work. 
5. Chat language. Not appropriate for fiction.
6. They see each other - and it's love. Doesn't work like that. e.g. Hinata looked into Naruto's eyes and she knew she loved him. Nauto was startled. How did he miss that? He was in love. They kissed. Like what the hell?!


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## Descent of the Lion (Jul 9, 2009)

I don't know. I don't like it when fanfiction is taken too seriously; especially when the characters and settings come from the original author. I think the gravity of the work should be proportioned in relationship to the originality. E.g.  Crossing two manga should be taken less seriously than a work that takes a manga premise, and turn it on its head.


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## Tunafish (Jul 12, 2009)

Holy mother of Christ, pet peeves for fanfictions...

Grammatical /  Spelling errors— They make me flinch. "More better...", "Everyone are", and the usual "teh" and capitalization mistakes makes me lose interest at such a fast rate.


Mary-Sue's, self-inserts, OCs... Even though I appreciate originality, I don't read stories with them at all...


OOCness is my ticket to the back button. I can hardly stand a fanfiction containing a character being too depressed or too melodramatic when they're actually pessimistic, or the like. 


Details, details, DETAILS! I don't want one liners jumbled with merely dialogue and a poor selection of adjectives throughout the entire story. I admire writers that can sneak in some metaphors and similes with an extended vocabulary.


People who use annoying formats that cram their entire story into a bigass paragraph I can barely read, people that put everything in a script-like / chat log form, people that use asterisks to show action in their story writing.


Countless, pointless Author's Notes throughout the sentences. 


Authors that make themselves talk to the characters in their introductory paragraph... I don't know, it's just weird.


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## half0pain (Sep 11, 2009)

Wilykat said:


> Naruto suddenly finds he loved someone.  Even at 15 years old, he's still "captain oblivious" and wouldn't know love if one tried to seduce him to bed.  If there's going to be any romance in fanfiction, it'd have to be much later than 15 years old or moving at a believeable pace.  Going from someone saying "I love you" to sharing the bed in one chapter is fine for a lemon but not for a more serious fanfic.



Agreed.

I agree with most of the pet peeves mentioned above. Now here are some of mine:


Stories where Akatsuki members live in caves. Don't they just use an astral projection jutsu to attend the meetings? Those who are close by are the only ones who attend in their physical bodies.

For the author's Sakura pairing to work, they make her hate Sasuke. I think in the recent manga chapters it has been proven that Sakura still has feelings for Sasuke. Besides which, her feelings for him is the reason she trained so hard all these years. Many people underestimate her devotion.

Someone already mentioned this but I'd like to repeat it: cultural ignorance. Not only the English names but also things like celebrating Christmas and being unaware of age related laws (age of consent, drinking, gambling, etc).

opposite gender fics --> if the character was born a different gender they would grow up much more differently and be different people (although some of the base personality traits must remain for the character to be recognizable). One good gender change fic I read was Kizuna by Kyogre.

Neji's sudden and inexplicable attraction to girls --> did people not see how he reacted to Ino in the middle of the Forest of Death.

When Kyuubi is anything but evil.

 This one's not a pet peeve, just something I don't like to see. Any Yaoi pairing with Naruto in it --> I used to like SasuNaru but Naruto is so adamant about being straight in the manga. He gagged at the kiss. He didn't seem very thrilled at the double knock out (guy version).

Sasuke or Naruto being uke. They most certainly are not uke types.

multi pairing stories --> that many characters aren't going to be attracted to someone at the same time.

dropping a fic without an explanation. It's okay to stop writing a fic but please give us a notice in your profile. Is it on a permanent hiatus, temporary or are you quitting writing fanfiction?

kyuubi giving naruto petnames: kit, cub, kitling (!?)

Romance. I like reading romance but I wish there was a filter that we could choose that gave us every genre except romance (kind of like the way mediaminer has it except I want it on ff.net) There are not enough gen fics. I want to read NejiHina, but not romance! Just some cousin interaction fic. I guess it would be filtered as a NejiHina frienship fic...?

Mpreg --> isn't it going to be really painful after the nine months, when the guy has to give birth, although I suppose c-section would be an option...

Author's who have characters behave too sexually (normally, medics are victims). And sex at a young age.

weird metaphors

I would like to know how people feel about Age-gap romances. I know the major ones are categorized as pedophilia, for example: OroSasu, TsuNaru, etc. But what about a five years difference in age (ItaHina, ItaSaku, ItaNaru) and SenseiStudent pairings?

I would also like to know why are OCs such a pet peeve? Isn't it when they become Mary Sues or Self-Inserts that they are problems?


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## LordUchiha (Sep 11, 2009)

Well lets see where do I begin.

1. Yaoi/Yuri
This realy has no point in existing. Yeah its hot to who ever wrote it and maybe to some people but really it makes very little sense. It's as OOC as it gets. Its wrong and weird. If you want to see the same sex doing it(and get off). Skip the words and go right for actually japanese animated porn(hentai). 

2. Mot Selfmade characters
Now I am all for creativity and thinking outside the box but some of these are jsut terrible. Characters that arent even ninja or god forbid robots or something(yeah they exist) just ruin the story. I dont mind maybe a made up villain character or hero but they need to have a real background from the actual world kishi made. Not be from some other diemension. 

3. Hate poem and suicide fics.
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!! 

4. Character bashing fics
I can live with a litte "Sasuke's so emo" and "Naruto's such an idiot" but it comes to a point where I feel like the fic feels more like an insult contest!?

5. Overly powerful characters.
Seriously some characters are so strong they can lift a mountain ........ with their mind!!! Whats even worse is a mary-sue character with this power. Ugh.

6. Random sex 
Do we even need this?


7. Awful Grammar
'naruto went to teh ramen stnad bought some ramen then went over to see how Hinata was' does not count as a sentence. Unforunately, not everyone agrees with me on that.... Thankyou that works perfectly.

8. Crossovers.
These can be good or bad. Sadly the majority is BAD!!! Pirates of Konoha. Good god Narutoa and Jack Sparrow. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? Worse is when things get futuristic in what's supposed to be a limitedly modern world. Naruto and Bleach is done a lot and still sucks. Not to metion power gap problems.

9. Please space out your paragraphs
Nuff said.

Ok I'm done.


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## zionforsale (Sep 11, 2009)

Most pet peeves are the same in all readers I think, but what is this animosity against OCs? Yes fics with OCs are often bad, but so are fics without OCs. To say that the tag OC or certain clichés will automatically make a fic unreadable to you is a bit extreme. 

I'm more in the school of, "it's not the cliché, it's how you use them." I've read amazing fics that contain some overused ideas, but their stories are well-written, with authenticity, good and very likable OCs, nice flow in romance. With the amount of stories written every day, it's unfair to ask an author to think up something totally original. As long as the fic feels real, I don't see any problem with reading another fic with sort of the same plots or beginning. They're all executed differently if written by good writers.

Also, most seem to forget that the first few chapters are always rough, especially with OCs. Think of it. We need time to get used to the OCs and the concept. I notice that after around 4 chapters, the good OCs fic really will differentiate themselves from the bad ones. But in the first three chapters or so, it's hard for the writers to prove anything while they were establishing the overall background or plot, which might resemble the badly executed one. Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet, many others wrote about similar stories, at first glance, or first few chapters/scenes, they're all the same, but more and more the good ones show.

While we readers demand from authors, we don't demand enough of ourselves. We need to be more patient, open-minded, and supportive. If you click on something you don't like, don't just say "Lame" or "Cliché" or "Hate this hate that" or worse, say nothing. Why don't we take some time to actually write a few lines to explain why it doesn't work, or how it will work with some changes? Also, give an author who seems to write well but has a few clichés in his/her fic a few chapters before marking it as something unreadable.

As someone who prefers to read and write fics with OCs, I'm discouraged that everyone has the tendency of ignoring those fics without giving them a chance.


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## N1nj45tyl3 (Sep 18, 2009)

zionforsale said:


> Most pet peeves are the same in all readers I think, but what is this animosity against OCs? Yes fics with OCs are often bad, but so are fics without OCs. To say that the tag OC or certain clich?s will automatically make a fic unreadable to you is a bit extreme.
> 
> I'm more in the school of, "it's not the clich?, it's how you use them." I've read amazing fics that contain some overused ideas, but their stories are well-written, with authenticity, good and very likable OCs, nice flow in romance. With the amount of stories written every day, it's unfair to ask an author to think up something totally original. As long as the fic feels real, I don't see any problem with reading another fic with sort of the same plots or beginning. They're all executed differently if written by good writers.
> 
> ...



I agree with you for the most part, except on one thing. Usually if a story doesn't capture me within the first three pages, or in the case of fanfiction paragraphs, then I can usually deem it unreadable. This can be anything from simply a slow start-up, to just plain horrible writing. Slow start-ups can be pushed through, but horrible writing is simply unbearable. Anything I have to force myself to read I consider garbage.


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## FantasyLover16 (Jul 26, 2010)

*My pet Peeves. . .where to begin. . .?*

Here are some of my pet peeves. If I repeat any of them or if there are pet peeves on here that have already been mentioned, then forgive and bear with me.


1: When people make two straight guys gay. I *DON'T* have anything against gay/bi/lesbien people. In fact, I have bi or gay friends.

2: When people pair up students and teachers like Sakura and Kakashi! He doesn't even show her that kind of affection so how do people get that idea? Some teacher/adultxstudent pairings are good like in Fruits basket.

3: When people pair their OCs with characters from shows. Eg. OCxSasuke and then makes them have kids. -.- that is a no no!

4:Mary Sues/Gary Sues!!!!!! 

5: When people pair up characters like TemarixItachi, InoxKankuro, SakuraxItachi, InoxKiba, InoxNaruto. For the TemaxIta, InoxKankuro part, they don't even know each other so how do people get the idea of these pairings? and why would they pair Ino up with Naruto when she wasn't even that nice to him in the beginning and now she doesn't even interact with him much. And why would people pair Sakura and Itachi up when Sakura would kill anyone who hurt Sasuke?

6: When people try to write Twilight stories but they replace the original characters with the Naruto characters!!  I don't like Twilight but still! That's an insult.

7: When people do crossovers. Some are good but a lot are bad. A friend of mine decided to do an Rp with Kindom Hearts being introduced into Naruto! Sora's world isn't meant for that kind of violence! 

8: When people change Kishi's characters personality. Like turning Kiba into a weak little wuss or turning Gaara into this bouncy, hyper person. 

9: When people cosplay as characters and make them wear stuff the character normally wouldn't wear. My friend cosplayed as Sora and decided to turn him into a Scene Kid. 

10: When people draw characters like Sakura, Ino, or any of the female ninjas that are not fat,  overly fat or obiese!!!!!!!! That just pisses me off! 

11: When people just Draw Sakura, change the colour of her hair, changes her outfit and personality and says that it's their character!

12: When they're writing a story and they turn characters like Hinata into a Spy who tricks the enemy into having sex with her to get information out of him!

13: Overly Strong characters: like being able to lift a mansion with their bare hands!

14: Turning Sakura into a suicidal bitch when she's no where near that.

15: When people pair up the 3rd Hokage and Orochimaru!

16: Creating an entire different world and adds the Naruto characters or any character that is not theirs, into this new world.

17: Please space out your paragraphs and proof read your stories, even get someone to proof read it too! I hate incorrect gramar.

18: In fanfics, some people make Sakura hate Sasuke. Many people underestimated her devotion. Why do you think she trained so hard?

19: Now I'm not sure if this was already mentioned, but one my pet peeves is also cultural ignorance, like giving English people Japanese names or legal age or drinking, gambling, driving ect.

20: Neji's sudden attraction to girls or Sasuke becoming a huge flirt! Or making Naruto an abusive asshole! 

21: When making Romance Fanfics, at least let us Know if there's sex in it because some people probably don't like reading about two characters having sex.  Like have different generes. . .action, comedy, friendship, horror.

22: Mpreg: I guess I'm a bit old fashioned when it gets to this. I hate fanfics with men that get pregnant! They have a penis! Sure C section is okay but still. . .it's just. . .it turns me off right away.

23: I hate it when people pair up Naruto and Tsunade. Come on! She only sees him as a brother or is reminded of her brother. 

24: This may have been mentioned before but I'm going to say it again. DETAILS. Come on people! Be more creative with your adjectives!

25: Pointless Author's notes like having a conversation with the characters. For example:

Sakura: Omg! How could make me like Author-san!
Sasuke: Shut up Sakura, you're annoying. . .

or:

Sakura: SQUEEE!!! SASUKE, YOU'RE AMAZING!!!
Author: Sakura, back off bitch! Sasuke's mine!!!!

That kind of thing. I mean, come on! We don't care, we're only interested in the story. Only make comments when it's important like when the next chapter will be posted or something like that. Some of them are just trying be funny or give us a break but no, just don't. Besides, the characters are not real so why make a huge deal out of it?

26: When people beg for reviews and threaten they won't post the next chapter until they get what they asked for.

27: Love at first sight. People have to get to know each other in order to fall inlove.

28: When people writes horrible stories on purpose to get attention.

There are a lot more pet peeves, I just can't think of anymore right now.​


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## InfallibleImam (Jul 26, 2010)

sinthetique said:


> To name a few:
> 1. I hate when terrible writers (you know, the ones with horrible grammar and no plot) get hundreds of reviews while actual writers, those who take time with their stories and respect the English language, don't get any at all.
> 2. Poor characterization.
> 3. Writers who demand a certain number of reviews and threaten to not post the next chapter if their quota isn't met.



1. Amen
2. Good Characterization is a difficult art to master, especially when you are trying to figure out how people interpret the meaning of certain phrases, especially if you are like me and you hate excessive reliance upon adverbs. 
3. I can understand the frustration with writing something that takes a lot of time out of one's day, you shouldn't THREATEN not to post the next chapter if a 'quota' isn't met, but again i can sympathize with people who decide to discontinue a work if it isn't as good in other people's eyes as they thought it would be.


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## Desert Butterfly (Jul 29, 2010)

1. "The Raven", "The Brunette", "The Pinkette/Rosette" etc.
2. Naruto the Uke
3. Emo!Naruto
4. Sakura the bitch
5. Ino the whore, who loves to give it away to every random character
6. Rapists Akatsuki members
7. No trace of spacing, no use of Enter key, missing/overused capitalization
8. GRAMMAR. Seriously, especially since I'm not a native English speaker.
9. Mpreg 
10. Rape & falling in love with the rapist _and/or_ rape & healing sex. _*NO*_.
11. Making a character an ignorant/bastard/slut because it gets in the way of your pairing.
12. _Stop_ using hit list songs for your songfictions.
13. Don't even get me started on lemon fanfictions : overly hung guys, perfectly synched orgasms, overused clichés, "how could something so wrong feel so good" and blahblahblah.
14. Self-insert and OOC


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## Yoshimi25 (Aug 16, 2010)

There is one fan-fic (or summary, of sorts) that pretty much sums up everything people hate most about fan-fic...I would love to post a link to it (or even post it) but it's not my work, nor is the author known to me.  And I really hate PMing someone and saying, "hey can I use your fan-fic summary in my 'what NOT to do' guide?"   

I've seen a few "The Hugyas took in Sasuke after the slaughter and there was no place for him to sleep except in the same room as Hinata" type stories.  Lame.  The Hugyas are wealthy.  They have more than one room.  No father in his right mind would put a boy not related to his daughter in the same bedroom as said daughter.  

Uchiha OCs.  The clan was massacred.  No Uchiha except Sasuke survived (though I did write a parody type fan-fic on how it might be possible for an Uchiha to survive - I'm sure it did not win me friends, however)

Pairings that constantly fight with each other.  

High school Naruto

Mis-use of Japanese honorifics.


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## BrightlyGoob (Aug 16, 2010)

OOC . 

DEIDARA/ITACHI OR THE REST OF AKATSUKI BEING PERVS OR FKING EVERY GIRL.  Like, where the hell did that come from? I still enjoy fics of these, but this aspect bothers me. Deidara especially. I mean, characters that are free and independant or more "outgoing" are always the targets of being sex-addicts.  

Anyways, OOC makes me mad the most, and what makes it worse is that I do it too.


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## TekJounin (Aug 16, 2010)

Amen to all of the above and I'd like to add "pregnant Sakura" to the list.  Most of the stories start out hyping Sakura as having surpassed Tsunade in medical skills and then she _completely_ spaces out birth control?  Really?

Th Uchiha Mansion.  It's really a rather modest home.

Sakura's pink, pink bedroom.  I've got screen caps of her room.  There's a pink comforter folded up at the foot of her bed.  The rest of the room and her belongings are just plain, everyday things.  Nary a stuffed animal to be seen, too.  And her dress or shirt are red.  The girl doesn't wear pink!

Tsunade's drinking.  Yeah, she likes a nip now & then but did she not ream Jiraiya out about being the Hokage & not being able to just quit work to drink?  Although she did end up barfing in an alley that time, how often do you see her drink otherwise?  Some stories have her guzzling sake every time she's mentioned.

Overusing character's catchphrases/actions.  Shikamaru can actually speak a sentence without saying "troublesome," Naruto rarely says "dattebayo" these days, Hinata doesn't always stutter or faint, etc.  

Also, I don't actually recall Neji making a fuss over his hair.  It's beautiful, yeah, but has _he_ ever said so?

Tiny Sakura.  My god, she's a head & a half shorter than Sasuke?  I don't think so.  In the beginning of Shippuuden, Sakura mentions that Naruto's just become taller than her.  Then they run into Sasuke & he's just a bit taller than Naruto.  But that doesn't make her that much shorter than Sasuke.  I must say, I've had my fill of stories that emphasis how petite the author thinks women, particularly Sakura, should be.  Most of the time, she ends up sounding like a 10-year-old.  And then some guy like Kakashi hits on her & how can that not take you straight to pedo-land?

Sakura is 5 and a 12-year-old Itachi falls irrevocably in love with her.  Right back in pedo-land, kids.  

Stories where the characters are referred to just by eye and/or hair color.  Even better when the colors keep changing while describing the same characters or when words get made up to describe them.  I can't find "pinkette" in any English language dictionary.  I rather imagine the author sitting at the keyboard with a color wheel, finding new names for colors while writing.


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## Kankurette (Jan 22, 2011)

Sorry for the Edo Tensei, but I thought I should bump this as someone made a similar thread very recently.

I have a lot. Off the top of my head:-

*Spoiler*: __ 



1. OOCness. Naruto does not cry all the time, Hinata is not a bitch who will smash Sakura's face in, Chouji is not anorexic, Kankuro is not stupid, Kakashi is not an evil bastard who beats the crap out of Iruka, Sasuke is not Fotherington-Thomas, etc. More on this here.

2. Flanderization, by which I mean: Naruto being a total retard, Hinata falling over whenever Naruto blows off in her direction, Sakura punching Naruto every time he says a word, Shikamaru and Lee overusing the words 'youth' and 'troublesome', Hidan swearing every time he opens his mouth, Sai talking about cocks, etc.

3. Bashfic, especially when it involves Sakura acting like a bitch for no reason whatsoever. Bonus points if Naruto, Ino, Hinata or - even worse - an OC makes a fool of her. I mention her because she's the character who seems to end up on the receiving end of the most bashfic, although I know Ino, Sasuke, Hinata and others get it too. General point: I get you don't like a character, but it is possible to write them without turning them into a cariacature and making lots of terrible things happen to them. If that's impossible, leave them out if you can.

4. Excluding Shino, Lee, Chouji and Kankuro from fics where all the other characters show up, because they're not bishie enough or whatever.

5. Sues and Stus. Including canon Sues. I read one fic where Sakura had a kekkei genkai. No. Just..._no_.

6. Putting Naruto on Team 8 / Hinata on Team 7. There's a reason why they're on the teams they were assigned to. Naruto's a poor student, albeit one with an angry demon fox in his belly, Sasuke's a genius and a member of a powerful clan, and Sakura, the ordinary one, balances things out. Team 8 are a tracker team, and just as Kiba uses his nose and his dog, and Shino uses his bugs, Hinata uses her Byakugan for tracking.

7. Self-insert goes to Naruverse, knows who all the characters are, doesn't get captured or interrogated, bangs whoever they fancy, automatically knows Chidori, outwits all of Akatsuki, makes Itachi a good guy...please, make it stop.

8. Songfics. I have yet to find one I like. See also: truth or dare fics, chat fics, most high school fics.

9. ShikaChou fics where Chouji dies and Shikamaru weeps over his grave.

10. Kisame getting bumped out of the plot so Itachi can be paired with a Sue. Kisame and Itachi are one of my favourite Akatsuki duos, and they work so well together. Kisame may not be pretty, but he and Itachi liked and respected each other and had a good working relationship.

11. The Lost Uchiha Who Itachi Missed That Night.

12. Kakashi being a rapist and/or pervert. Yes, he reads porn but that doesn't mean he wants to fuck his students, or Iruka. In fact, didn't he get embarrassed when he had to read Come Come Paradise in front of the kids? And Kakashi teaching Sex Ed in HS fics is way overdone. See also: Jiraiya, Neji, Kankuro.

13. Naruto's childhood being even more shitty than it is in canon. "And then the villagers tarred and feathered Naruto and roasted him over a slow fire while poking him with spears and calling him rude names, and then they took it in turns to rape him." And I have actually read fics like this. It's overdone.

14. "I, an OC, can change Itachi / Hidan / Deidara / Gaara before Naruto knocked some sense into him / Orochimaru with the power of love!" Naruto called. He wants his job back.

15. Bad spelling and grammar. Betas are your friends. If your first language isn't English, that's fair enough, but it really is hard on the eyes to read poorly spelled and punctuated fic.

16. Holding your audience to ransom by saying you'll only write a chapter if people review your fic.

17. "LOLZ I SUX AT SUMMARIES LOLZ."

18. Magical healing sex after rape. In fact, badly written rape scenes in general. Rape is not hot and sexy, nor is it funny. It is a horrible, dehumanising thing for anyone to go through, and I really don't think sex, especially with the rapist, is going to cure everything.

19. Making Gai an idiot. He's loud, he's enthusiastic, he's a massive ham, but he isn't stupid. He didn't get to the position of jounin by being an idiot.

20. Fics where Shikamaru is an evil, murderous sociopath. I know he killed Hidan, but even now, he's no Aizen. He comes across as a fairly normal guy who makes the best of the fact he's doing a dangerous job, and who loves his family, his friends and his village. While he is a genius, I can't see him using his abilities for evil.


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## Dejablue (Jan 22, 2011)

I don't like stories where Hinata can defeat her father and Neji and Hanabi without any build up or explanation of how she could.  Especially when you take into account that those three Hyuga probably train regularly to also get stronger.


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## NinjaNoodles (Jan 22, 2011)

Kankurette said:


> 4. Excluding Shino, Lee, Chouji and Kankuro from fics where all the other characters show up, because they're not bishie enough or whatever.



What?!?! I think they are perfect bishie material. 



> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I agree with everything you said expect the one about high school fan fictions. I actually like some high school fics. :sweat


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## undercoverninja44 (Jan 22, 2011)

I know a lot of people like this stuff, but I really hate it when people make naruto fics in the real world and not in narutoverse, but thats just me


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## Stripes (Jan 22, 2011)

Here is my ominous list of devastated hate;

- Out of Character Actions; If characters are going to fall in love or do anything in particular at least make it in character and yes it's possible.

- Sasu/Naru; The only thing within the S/N fanfiction I will always detest is that Naruto is always like in awe or seeing the good within Sasuke right away; Naruto thinks on impulse and goes from there, he did not like Sasuke right away so when this starts in fanfictions and Naruto is all in awe right away that is totally a turn off.

- S/N & K/I; Why these two pairings need to be merged into fanfictions is beyond me, not against Kakashi or Iruka and what ever just it's unnecessary.

- Original Characters; Now I'm not totally against them but they have to be put in perfect content and not over used. Only some writers can pull it off. 

- Cliche Themes; It all respect when people use over used ideas they really overuse it, many do use twists and unexpected things which result into interesting things but it gets old I want to see new ideas.

- Seme & Uke; This annoys the living daylights out of me. What the fuck ,dominate and submissive it sounds like your being a fucking n00b when you use those terms!

- Sakura Haters; When Sakura is always the antagonist and she has to be hatin on Sasuke's choice, "whoever" it might me.

- Male Pregnancy; No, I don't care how legit Naruto/Kyuubi pregnancy sounds it's a no no!  

There is probably so many more but this is just what comes to my mind.


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## Dejablue (Jan 22, 2011)

Whats considered a "Cliche Theme" though?


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## TekJounin (Jan 22, 2011)

*Spoiler*: _Clich?_ 



A clich? or cliche is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, rendering it a stereotype, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel. The term is frequently used in modern culture for an action or idea which is expected or predictable, based on a prior event. Typically a pejorative, "clich?s" are not always false or inaccurate; a clich? may or may not be true. Some are stereotypes, but some are simply truisms and facts. Clich?s are often for comic effect, typically in fiction.

Most phrases now considered clich?d were originally regarded as striking, but lost their force through overuse. In this connection, David Mason and John Frederick Nims cite a particularly harsh judgement by Salvador Dal?: "The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot."

A clich? is often a vivid depiction of an abstraction that relies upon analogy or exaggeration for effect, often drawn from everyday experience. Used sparingly, they may succeed. However, clich? in writing or speech is generally considered a mark of inexperience or unoriginality.




I know you didn't ask for a definition of the word but it is clear that a clich? theme would necessarily be one that has been done, possibly even done well, then repeated in more stories until the predictability, even when well written, becomes loathsome.  I've incorporated a ton of them in my story here.

Examples are rife.  Shika becoming a hard-core smoker, Naruto *never *having a clue, Sakura the hard-bitten slut, Hinata the calculating bitch, Kiba stalking a woman because he's in heat, etc.

Most of those things are out of character, possibly inspired by something canon but then inflated out of proportion.  Shika did smoke, until he avenged Asuma.  Sakura played on Naruto's affection in an effort to dissuade him from his promise to bring Sasuke back.

I find it a little paradoxical when people enjoy a story pushes an out-of-character behavior (which often makes a character rather one-dimensional), then howl with outrage that Itachi (for example) could ever be nice.  In actuality, Itachi practiced an extreme form of tough love on his brother and was a pacifist who tried to protect what and who he loved as best he could.  Deidara was concerned about Tobi's safety when he performed some of his crazy bomb techniques.  Hidan had a sense of humor, even if it was twisted.  These characters were not simply crazed killers.  They had more dimensions than that.  The story didn't allow them to have full back-stories but that doesn't mean they didn't have rather average lives outside of missions.

As for rape, well, I can't imagine the thought process that makes such a violent, controlling act in any way desirable.  I do understand that Stockholm syndrome might make a victim cling to their attacker but I don't see that as any sort of romance.


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## guidewriter211 (Jan 23, 2011)

I have quite a list...but here's just a few.
1. Inconsistencies. One second Naruto is throwing his jacket over the couch, then Sakura pulls on the arm of his jacket...this drives me insane, seeing as it takes a few minutes (TOPS) to read through your own work and catch these little mistakes.
2. OOC of any kind (this is just something that bugs me, but I won't bad-mouth an author who decides to write with these).
3. Overly used plots. I searched 'Konoha High' on FF.n and got over 1,000 results...that, sir, is too many stories with the same plot idea.
4. Horrible grammar. It's like people think that writing FanFiction has nothing to do with actually writing something. It also bugs me when people admit that they have horrible grammar and spelling, but asks the readers to ignore it...no, I can not ignore it when I can barely read the first sentence. If they're at the point where they can admit that they really don't know how to use the English language, maybe they need to focus more on learning how to use the language properly rather than tossing a few sentences together and calling it good. (Or for those who do not know English as a first language...there is nothing wrong with posting a story in the language you're more comfortable in.)
5. Horrible summaries and titles. They are the first thing a readers sees, why wouldn't you take the five minutes to thoroughly think them through?
6. Chat-speak. I drop any story that uses this, no matter what it's about or how much I like the other stories that the author has posted. Zero exceptions.
7. People that have conversations with their characters in the Author's Note. I just don't see how people can look at their perfectly good story and say, "Hmm...what does this need? Some childish conversation where Ibiki is a big teddy-bear and Kakashi is lusting after Iruka??" It makes me cringe, and possibly die a little inside.
8. Epithets. "The blonde looked into the raven's brilliant green orbs." <-- Also going to thrown in calling 'eyes' 'orbs'.
9. Calling Sakura "The Pinkette" and Sasuke "The Raven". I can deal with a few epithets, but these two are just horrible overused.
10. FINALLY! People who beg for reviews, or hold their story hostage. Are you really going to sound pathetic, desperate, or just insane to get some attention? (Most of which probably won't be great attention in general.) Are you _really_ going to look like a little eleven year old girl for, dare I say, a few smiley-face reviews?
I have quite a few more, however, I think ten is enough for now.


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## Stripes (Jan 27, 2011)

guidewriter211 said:


> 9. Calling Sakura "The Pinkette" and Sasuke "The Raven". I can deal with a few epithets, but these two are just horrible overused.



It might be a little redundant but it mixes it up instead of; "Sasuke opened the fridge. Sasuke ate the banana, while being gay about it. Than Sasuke finally got up, left and paraded around down with only his boxers on."

It's more of a description use but it's better than using there name 15 times per paragraph.


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## C-No (Jan 27, 2011)

What do you mean by pet peeves? Stuff that pisses me off about the fic I'm reading or what?

Cause one thing that pisses me off that can be about any story in general is when I'm looking for one that I can't remember the name of and I can't find it. It happens ALOT and it was just yesterday that I can't find a few that I read a long time ago.


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## Stripes (Jan 27, 2011)

^ If you know the pairing you could probably go to fanclubs or communities and ask for help if you remember key things about the fanfiction.

Just a word of advice; I hate that shit too.


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## C-No (Jan 27, 2011)

BrightlyDim said:


> Anyways, OOC makes me mad the most, and what makes it worse is that I do it too.



This too. It's different when they're only slightly different because that almost can't be helped, but I hate when they're written out of character just to serve the plot. 

There's this one I read recently that mad Kakashi and Hiruzen be complete assholes to Naruto just to make him want to leave the village so that he could grow up in a different one. I've seen this in more than just one story and It takes little creativity to do something like that.


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## C-No (Jan 27, 2011)

Captain Stripes said:


> ^ If you know the pairing you could probably go to fanclubs or communities and ask for help if you remember key things about the fanfiction.
> 
> Just a word of advice; I hate that shit too.



Thanks, but I don't think it'll work tbh. I'm sure I can find one cause I read the whole thing and can remember most of the plot, but with the other I didn't read much and all I can remember is that Naruto ends up blind do to some ocular type of jutsu that was used on him and that Sakura tries to find a way to get his vision back or something.


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## kiss me! (Jan 29, 2011)

this thread irritates me -___-
you guys sound RETARTED.
if you don't like it, fuck, don't read it.
it's like the great US made internet is used hear about other people's problems that NOBODY cares about.
For instance, "I hate when they put two obviously not gay characters together." 
Are you fucking stupid? or are you fucking stupid? Sasuke and Naruto *ARE* gay! Can you not read inbetween the lines. What girl have you ever seen Sasuke trying to court? God. 
you guys talk about "ohhh... I  like reading canon... yeah..." You like reading 'canon' and 'in' about two characters that never cross paths romantically.
And as for the authors notes, if they feel the need to post one they will fucking post one shit. if it bothers you that much use the god damn back button, or SKIP it. alot of books have fore-wards, prologues, and dedication pages, and you don't sit and read them. Do the same thing here.
Most of you sound like you get so irritated with what people write-and what people like to post up that you almost sound like you want to kill yourself...
If you feel like there is almost no good work anymore stay off the site. No one _makes_ you go. And certainly no one wants to hear your bitching here.


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## TekJounin (Jan 29, 2011)

kiss me! said:


> this thread irritates me -___-



I have some advice.  Here, let me quote you:


kiss me! said:


> if you don't like it, fuck, don't read it.





kiss me! said:


> you guys sound RETARTED.



Could you be upset because you are one of the authors who write badly?  The word is "RETAR*D*ED."  And you might want to look in the mirror first.

The fact that so many people have very similar peeves means that far more people care than you realize.  Most of the posts here have been quite articulate, non-profane and well-explained.  Your post, on the other hand, makes me wonder if you're one of those "its the internets, lulz, i will troll people who don't deserve it" sorts of people.

Some authors do want to hear feedback from readers.  If you write things that no one else will enjoy reading but your stories make you happy anyway, good for you.  But most authors do want a readership and are interested to find what will draw those readers in.

For the most part, the commenters in this thread have simply expressed their views.  I have been interested in reading them.  

Feel free to follow your own advice: "if it bothers you that much use the god damn back button, or SKIP it."


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## Crow Master Apprentice (Jan 29, 2011)

^ User has just owned


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## kiss me! (Jan 29, 2011)

TekJounin said:


> I have some advice.  Here, let me quote you:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



i'm sorry. uh, no honey. this isn't a story it's a single post get over yourself.

i spelled a word wrong fucking sue me. i'll be waiting in the court room.

that's good for you if you like reading it, yeah? 

just because it might be articulate and well-explained doesn't mean it isn't bitching. 



> Feel free to follow your own advice: "if it bothers you that much use the god damn back button, or SKIP it.


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## C-No (Jan 31, 2011)

kiss me! said:


> this thread irritates me -___-
> you guys sound RETARTED.
> if you don't like it, fuck, don't read it.
> it's like the great US made internet is used hear about other people's problems that NOBODY cares about.
> ...



LMFAO @ Kiss me! Bitching about bitching is what's retarded.

and then there's this



> Are you fucking stupid? or are you fucking stupid? Sasuke and Naruto *ARE* gay! Can you not read inbetween the lines. What girl have you ever seen Sasuke trying to court?



Why don't you prove it? Or at least look up the definition of Gay. 1. Has Sasuke ever shown any physical attraction towards men? Has he ever kissed a guy, intentionally? You didn't even mention Naruto just Sasuke. Why don't you read between the lines that say they're brothers not lovers. What man have you seen Sasuke trying to court?


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## CandleGuy (Jan 31, 2011)

kiss me! said:


> this thread irritates me -___-
> you guys sound RETARTED.
> if you don't like it, fuck, don't read it.
> it's like the great US made internet is used hear about other people's problems that NOBODY cares about.
> ...



Writer of bad fanfics confirmed


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 1, 2011)

100% PROOFED XD...Seriously stop trashing this awesome thread full of good advice for newbs.


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## C-No (Feb 3, 2011)

Another thing that really annoys me is that most writers have to throw in random japanese words for no reason. I end up having to look up the meaning for the words when they could've just typed it in english like the rest of the fic.



Kankurette said:


> 2. Flanderization, by which I mean: Naruto being a total retard, Hinata falling over whenever Naruto blows off in her direction, Sakura punching Naruto every time he says a word, Shikamaru and Lee overusing the words 'youth' and 'troublesome', Hidan swearing every time he opens his mouth, Sai talking about cocks, etc.


 I really hate this and sometimes it can ruin a really good fic. I was just reading one a few weeks ago that was great up until the left the land of waves and it was full of stuff like this from that point on. Sasuke is constantly saying "hn." when somebody speaks to hims, Neji is the same only he says "Feh" instead, Hinata *NEVER* stops stuttering from there even when being completely serious and confident while fighting Lee. I'm sure there's more of this and that fic, but I dropped it and might not even go back to it.



> 3. Bashfic, especially when it involves Sakura acting like a bitch for no reason whatsoever. Bonus points if Naruto, Ino, Hinata or - even worse - an OC makes a fool of her. I mention her because she's the character who seems to end up on the receiving end of the most bashfic, although I know Ino, Sasuke, Hinata and others get it too. General point: I get you don't like a character, but it is possible to write them without turning them into a cariacature and making lots of terrible things happen to them. If that's impossible, leave them out if you can.


 This I also really hate and is almost a package with NaruTema fics. In one story Naruto decides to put Sakura on blast for the promise as soon has he gets back from his training with Jiraiya and then Temari helps. Suposedly Sakura just couldn't think of a reason why she still wanted to rescue Sasuke, and appearently Naruto didn't care to save him at all and told Sakura she should just forget about him and that he wouldn't go to save him.

In another, for no reason at all while every single one of the rookie 9 are Jonin Sakura is still a chunin and in the story it says she was the last to become a chunin (including Naruto) and also the last to become a Jonin. Then she's denied being an Anbu because she doesn't have any skills aside from medical jutsu and her chakra enhanced taijutsu( but lee isn't despite the fact that he can't use anything, but taijutsu) 

I especially hate bashfics that include writing OOC just to bash them.






> 6. Putting Naruto on Team 8 / Hinata on Team 7. There's a reason why they're on the teams they were assigned to. Naruto's a poor student, albeit one with an angry demon fox in his belly, Sasuke's a genius and a member of a powerful clan, and Sakura, the ordinary one, balances things out. Team 8 are a tracker team, and just as Kiba uses his nose and his dog, and Shino uses his bugs, Hinata uses her Byakugan for tracking.


 This too, they were put on those teams for a reason.



> 7. Self-insert goes to Naruverse, knows who all the characters are, doesn't get captured or interrogated, bangs whoever they fancy, automatically knows Chidori, outwits all of Akatsuki, makes Itachi a good guy...please, make it stop.


 I hope I never have to see this.



> The Lost Uchiha Who Itachi Missed That Night.



I can't really say that I mind this one.




> Kakashi being a rapist and/or pervert. Yes, he reads porn but that doesn't mean he wants to fuck his students, or Iruka. In fact, didn't he get embarrassed when he had to read Come Come Paradise in front of the kids? And Kakashi teaching Sex Ed in HS fics is way overdone. See also: Jiraiya, Neji, Kankuro.


 Agreed. I don't even think of Kakashi as a pervert.





> "LOLZ I SUX AT SUMMARIES LOLZ."



Well since I probably do suck at summarys I can't agree with this, but I would at least attempt to try.



> 20. Fics where Shikamaru is an evil, murderous sociopath. I know he killed Hidan, but even now, he's no Aizen. He comes across as a fairly normal guy who makes the best of the fact he's doing a dangerous job, and who loves his family, his friends and his village. While he is a genius, I can't see him using his abilities for evil.[/spoiler]



I agree with most of what you said and there are a lot of things in there that I hope I never have to read.


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## knowmonsta (Feb 3, 2011)

1. Stories with bad grammar. One or two mistakes is fine but authors should always edit a story before posting.

2. When the characters are out of character. Sasuke being nice and romantic? Come on now.

I don't mind OCs or self-inserts in fan fiction as long as they're well written and the plot is interesting. An OC DOES NOT equal a Mary Sue.


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## TekJounin (Feb 5, 2011)

Author's notes at the ends of chapters aren't always annoying.  It's the "chat with characters" ones that inspire the most cringing.  Same with intros.

I've run across one word that drives me over the edge, mostly because of my own imagination.  The word is "rogue," not "rouge."  Every time I run into this commonly but incorrectly used word, I imagine Kisame and Itachi leaping tree to tree, clutching their Mary Kay cosmetics satchels, looking for another Jinchuuriki to gussy up with makeup.  And _that _image will change the tone of a story.  

Is "rouge ninja" sort of like "lipstick lesbian?"  Cuz that might explain a lot of very unlikely yaoi.


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## Uzume (Feb 20, 2011)

*1)* Trying too hard to keep someone in-character. Sasuke doesn't say "hn" 24/7, Naruto doesn't say dattebayo 24/7, Sakura isn't always bitching and punching things, Hidan isn't always cursing... the list goes on. I've seen all of this _way_ too much.
*2)* Using Japanese. Honorifics are fine (-chan, -san, etc) but not writing in English and then suddenly having "daijoubu?" "sugoi! kakkoii!" What pisses me off even more is when the sentence is, say, "ah, Sasuke, daijoubu (are you okay)?" If you're going to INCLUDE THE DAMN ENGLISH RIGHT AFTER, THEN WHAT'S THE POINT? It's sad because this is pretty much unavoidable since Naruto has (for the most part) a horrendous fan base that can't write to save their lives.
*3)* Retarded cliche crap like, "she is the long lost sister of Naruto and she has a great demon dragon inside her!" ...please, no. Just no. Also, please no 10 year old ANBU OCs. That's only okay for canon characters.
*4)* Making an OC related to any canon characters. Again, just no.
*5)* OOCness, obviously. Itachi isn't the type to smirk.
*6)* AUs. Yes, I do not like AUs. If I'm in the Naruto section, I expect to read Naruto and not another universe where it feels like I'm reading another series with wannabe characters altogether. I especially hate Konoha High/school AUs. This is merely opinion, so please don't bash. 
*7)* Character bashing.
*8)* Ridiculously annoying honorifics like "Naru-kun." 
*9)* No "purple sharingan" crap (I actually saw this recently on Quizilla). Please be unique with your jutsu/skill names.
*10)* Please no 500-word chapters. That's not really a chapter. :/


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 20, 2011)

I do have numerous qualms about what I would accept in a fic and what I would read without argument, but to fully rip into such would make me a fat hypocrite. Funnily enough, some my complaints are from a writer's perspective and against readers.

[SP]1) GRAMMAR: Oh, Lord. Because of my upbringing, I'm a hearty Grammar Nazi. The offence I hate the most is in the words 'definitely' and 'defiantly'. Apparently, some morons don't activate this little thing called a spell-checker; somebody's eyes would be good enough as well...proof read the thing, dammit.

Why I'd be a hypocrite here: I don't use my spell-checker. I may seem arrogant, but I know when I've spelt something wrong. Words that either switch the 'r' and 'e' around in 'centre' or 'metre'; or adding a 'u' in words like 'honour' and 'colour' don't count to me. Why? Because I'm English, that's how I was taught to spell them.

2) The intelligence (or lack thereof) of some reviewers and the things they write (or don't). What I mean by this, is that some of my fics have been reviewed by people who either:

A) Think they know everything
or
B) Write up something that a 5-year-old would.

Example from one of my fics involving point 'B': ""

......That was it. They wrote a f**king emoticon...and nothing else...

In contrast (i.e. point 'A'), someone wrote a wall o' text review that made it look like the person in question was the one writing MY story.

3) "He did this. Then he did that. After that he went over here etc. etc." Speaks for itself. Please be descriptive in the character's actions.

4) Crap titles and summaries. If the title is in all lower case letters, I'll pass. If the summary is in all lower case letters, I'll pass. (See point 1).

5) What happened to all the words? I have a personal philosophy: If the number of words in a fic (in thousands) is less than the chapter count in either single, double or triple digits, I won't read it.

Elaboration (e.g.):
If I see a fic with a word count of 52,382 (just an example), then I expect the fic to have, at the bare minimum, 51 chapters. I can be tolerant with what I do and don't read, but if it's less than 1000 words per chapter (average), I'm out of there. Drabbles, however, are exempt from this.

6) Morons who request a story alert on a FINISHED story. Come on. It tells you so  in the description bar below the summary. If the fic is complete, that means that nothing else will be added to it. Use common sense, fool.

7) "This fic is really good, I'd like to see what happens in the next chap-....oh, the last update was two years ago..." Yeah, ahem, I HATE this. However, I know people have lives in this marvellous thing called 'RL', so I can't truly complain.

Why I'd be a hypocrite here: I have a Black Lagoon fic that I haven't touched since April of 2010. I have the next chapter sat on my hard drive with a few paragraphs already done. It's just waiting, begging almost, for completion, but I have a lot on my plate right now.

8) Be realistic with physical anatomy please. I can put up with lemons and whatnot, but I'm sick of constantly seeing things like, "HIS TWELVE INCH PIPE RIVALLED THAT OF THE BEST STALLIONS!!!! IT EVEN WON HIM AWARDS!!!!" While those sizes are indeed possible, the odds of having somebody in your neighbourhood harbouring something of that size are ridiculous.

9) Relating to the above....I don't do Yaoi or Yuri, please get it away from me.

I don't mind AU fics. If I were to say that I find high school fics distasteful, then I would certainly be a hypocrite...I'm writing one myself, after all.[/SP]

I would type up more, but I don't wish to bore. (F*ck me, I'm turning into Killer Bee.)


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## PikachuAsuncion (Feb 21, 2011)

There are so many things that get on my nerves about bad FanFiction stories:

When they just mesh the whole story in one paragraph. It really isn't attractive.

I also hate OOC, really horrible. It makes the story pointless, no?

Grammar is a must, if you don't have good grammar, the story probably sucks. 

I also hate things that ramble on like "Rasengan was made by Naruto. Then he stopped because he wanted ramen. Then, Naruto ran and ran."

I also am not a fan of when people do cliches. For example .. the girl falls on top of the guy and they kiss by accident. REALLY DOES THAT REALLY HAPPEN EVER? MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD BUT NOT 5 TIMES IN A SPAN OF TEN MINUTES.


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## Divi (Feb 22, 2011)

TekJounin said:


> Author's notes at the ends of chapters aren't always annoying.  It's the "chat with characters" ones that inspire the most cringing.  Same with intros.
> 
> I've run across one word that drives me over the edge, mostly because of my own imagination.  The word is "rogue," not "rouge."  Every time I run into this commonly but incorrectly used word, I imagine Kisame and Itachi leaping tree to tree, clutching their Mary Kay cosmetics satchels, looking for another Jinchuuriki to gussy up with makeup.  And _that _image will change the tone of a story.
> 
> Is "rouge ninja" sort of like "lipstick lesbian?"  Cuz that might explain a lot of very unlikely yaoi.



The rouge thing always gets me too, and the worst part is that there's at least 3 out of 7 fics that have the word "rouge ninja" in it. The chat with characters, specifically with the author in it, annoy the hell out of me as well. I'm not interested in reading that. I'll read the author's note if they are story-related, otherwise, get a livejournal.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 18, 2011)

Uzume said:


> *
> 3) Retarded cliche crap like, "she is the long lost sister of Naruto and she has a great demon dragon inside her!" ...please, no. Just no. Also, please no 10 year old ANBU OCs. That's only okay for canon characters.
> 4) Making an OC related to any canon characters. Again, just no.
> 10) Please no 500-word chapters. That's not really a chapter. :/*


*

disagree with these two, as I take relatives of canon characters on a case by case basis.

Random new Hyuugas with only normal Hyuuga abilities, nothing extraordinary, are fine.  Next Generation fics are fine.  Sasuke or Naruto's little sister... no.  no.  no.  no.  and NO!!!!

What irks me:

Hiashi Hyuuga is stern and has high expectations, but not abusive or evil.  I'm a huge NaruHina fan and that ruins a lot of otherwise good NH fanfics for me.

If it's listed on a fanfiction website in the section labeled English, then please WRITE IN ENGLISH!  That's right.  I mean English, not nooblish.  This language has a grammar and most of the words have only one correct spelling.

Over characterization.

Self insertions or any other Mary Sues.

Setting in a high school or anything else that's from our world and not Naruto's.  I watch this show because it's a fantasy cartoon.  If I wanted high school drama, I would have chosen another manga.*


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## siyrean (Mar 31, 2011)

touching on the Hiashi thing. People unable to comprehend grey characters. they either peg them as good or bad. It's like their world doesn't allow for the fact that sometimes good people do bad things and vis versa. Why does everyone think the Uchiha were complete assholes? wasn't the reason for getting rid of them because it would create civil war - meaning they would have support. And why do people think Obito was the black sheep of his family, and that had he survived, he'd have been spared in the massacre?


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## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 31, 2011)

I like gray characters more than the straight up good or evil ones.  They're more fun to read about, watch, and write.  I think the Uchihas were thinking more along the lines of "we helped to found this village as much as these Senjus" and yet at least the first two Hokage are Senjus.  And maybe Minato or Hiruzen are related to the Senjus, too.  I'd be pretty pissed off about the whole situation if I were segregated on top of that, too.  Politics is multidimensional and gray and Uchihas were no exception.

As for Obito, I don't think he was a black sheep.  He might've felt a little left out for being a late bloomer, but there's a difference between that and total black sheep.  I think you have to do more than fail to activate the Sharingan at an early age to become a black sheep.  Besides, I've heard that it's supposed to be a rare Uchiha trait and therefore, I bet that not all Uchihas have it to begin with.

If he's to escape the massacre, then he'd better be nowhere near Konoha at the time that it happened because I don't think he's even close to Itachi's level.


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## siyrean (Apr 4, 2011)

one of my pet theories is that Danzou suggested using Itachi because he knew the kid would end up being a Hokage candidate down the road...


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## C-No (Apr 4, 2011)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> If it's listed on a fanfiction website in the section labeled English, then please WRITE IN ENGLISH!  That's right.  I mean English, not nooblish.  This language has a grammar and most of the words have only one correct spelling.


I don't know if I spoke on this already, but I also hate this. Becuase of things like this I know way more japanese words than I should like baka, ashiteru, and damare. I read one recently where the writer mentioned that they had to go look up the japanese word for pervert and I wrote to them saying "Then why don't you just use the english word?"

Something else I'm pretty sure I've mentioned more than once is Kakashi literally choosing Sasuke over the other two and acting like they are both worthless. I think I mentioned reading one where Naruto nearly beat him to death just for saying he was an old friend of Minato and after that he basically acted like he hated Kakashi and Kakashi walked around afraid.


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## Kyuuzen (Apr 4, 2011)

1. *Naruto is a dark emo "bad ass" stories*
- Happy-go-lucky Naruto works much better

2. *Naruto gets incredibly powerful in the span of two chapters*
- Really?  At seven years old he's making his own B Rank jutsu?  Fuck no.

3. *Uchihacest*
- Ew.

4. *Stories that have no line break between paragraphs*
- Dude, just push the enter button.


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## C-No (Apr 4, 2011)

One more, Sasuke being referred to as Emo duckbutt by several people throughout the story as if it's factual or that they have emo's or call his haircut (which is supposed to be natural) something like that.


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## L7997 (Apr 10, 2011)

siyrean said:


> touching on the Hiashi thing. People unable to comprehend grey characters. they either peg them as good or bad. It's like their world doesn't allow for the fact that sometimes good people do bad things and vis versa. Why does everyone think the Uchiha were complete assholes? wasn't the reason for getting rid of them because it would create civil war - meaning they would have support. And why do people think Obito was the black sheep of his family, and that had he survived, he'd have been spared in the massacre?



i think obito was a black sheep. Obito had pride in his clan, but he did not get the sharingan until later in his youth. he felt inadequate, was a lesser shinobi compared to the other uchiha, and i assume that the uchiha saw him this way as well. So based on everything we know about the uchiha stereotype he really is a black sheep. not just in the clan, but to most shinobi during his time bc he cries easily.

he would not have been spared by itachi unless his connection to the clan was cut. i don't think obito would easily relinquish his ties to his clan, but he is like Naruto so i don't think he would participate in the coup de tat, and thus would leave. this is a good way to avoid itachi, no? if he was no longer "uchiha" then he may live. 
still an assumption. it can go both ways. as long as the writer is convincing and reasonable then i don't mind.

back on topic, 

the uchiha obviously aren't assholes. tho they do play a dark role in the manga so, like in books, this shapes peoples thoughts and reasoning (authors have a lot of power. lol.) 

it really bothers me too. humans contradict themselves. irony is a part of life. in so many fanfictions the complexity is missing. the lack of this aspect makes me think of highschool students. this world is filled with highschool students.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Apr 10, 2011)

L7997 said:


> this world is filled with highschool students.



hahahahaha this is so true.  Unfortunately, it seems that the people with the most time to watch cartoons and seriously write fanfiction are mostly high school students.  I think my favorite types of authors so far are the competent college or graduate student majoring in creative writing who somehow still has the time and energy to regularly update their works and the occasional really talented kid.

As for Obito's black sheep status, I agree.  I'm willing to take it either way if it's written skillfully.

The Naruto world isn't black and white and the Uchiha history/roles seems to have been told from the likely biased perspective of the Senjus and their allies.


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## TekJounin (Apr 11, 2011)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> hahahahaha this is so true.  Unfortunately, it seems that the people with the most time to watch cartoons and seriously write fanfiction are mostly high school students.  I think my favorite types of authors so far are the competent college or graduate student majoring in creative writing who somehow still has the time and energy to regularly update their works and the occasional really talented kid.
> 
> As for Obito's black sheep status, I agree.  I'm willing to take it either way if it's written skillfully.
> 
> The Naruto world isn't black and white and the Uchiha history/roles seems to have been told from the likely biased perspective of the Senjus and their allies.



I was going to say the same thing about the majority of the authors.  There really are some astounding authors out there but there are so, so many that write at a maturity level that makes me cringe.

One thing that bugs me, no matter how well it's written, is Neji/Hinata romance stories.  They are both great characters and much wonderful fan fiction has been written about each of them.  But my brain can't handle stories where they're a couple.

First off, the Byakugan is a genetic anomaly that they managed to breed stably for generations.  The Hyuuga aren't a different species and are as human as the rest of the characters, so it's a mutation that has become reliably reproducible, like a hybrid plant.

As far as Neji and Hinata go, legally, they are cousins.  First cousins.  Most places ban marriage between first cousins.  It's just not a good idea for the gene pool.  When you're already aware of a mutation, it's probably not a good idea to mess with the genetics.

In spite of their legal relationship, they are children of identical twins.  That means that biologically, they are half-siblings.  Their fathers are essentially the same man, genetically.  Stir in the existing (and coveted) mutation of the Byakugan and you're quite likely to get gross mutations in any offspring.  It seems likely that the clan would be opposed to any such damage to the bloodlline.

And since I'm venting: Sakura and pink.  Her hair is pink.  Her bedroom isn't frilly and death-by-Disney-princess pink.  She doesn't wear pink.  It's just her hair.  I'd rather not have my wardrobe & decorating options limited to what color my hair is, so why do so many folks surround her with pink?  I even read a "Sakura kidnapped by Akatsuki" fic where they presented her with an Akatsuki cloak that had _pink clouds_!

Her bedroom as a genin:         One pink blanket, folded neatly at the end of her bed.  I rest my case.


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## TekJounin (Apr 17, 2011)

By the gods, I forgot another thing: jinchuriki who are forced to go into heat by their bijuu. Can be funny as a quick little drabble but a long, involved, yaoi gang bang?  OK for some but not my cup of tea.


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## Lady Gaga (inactive) (Apr 26, 2011)

Most Fanfiction annoy me. Period. There's always some major flaw that bothers me.

*Most* (98.9%) of the people don't watch/read the same manga we do.

So its really hard for me to read.

Oo, I also found out the hard way a respected author on fanfiction.net is not always a good author. 

For my own sanity, I don't bother with it.


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## Lacie (Apr 28, 2011)

Bad grammar and OOCness are the worst. Oh yes, and Naruto being a major idiot. I'm an SS fan, but some fics are ruined due to Naruto being just the "idiot next door". Or, when he's paired up with Hinata just like that, suddenly realizing he "loved her all along". WTF, what kind of crap is that?


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## siyrean (Apr 28, 2011)

L7997 said:


> i think obito was a black sheep. Obito had pride in his clan, but he did not get the sharingan until later in his youth. he felt inadequate, was a lesser shinobi compared to the other uchiha, and i assume that the uchiha saw him this way as well. So based on everything we know about the uchiha stereotype he really is a black sheep. not just in the clan, but to most shinobi during his time bc he cries easily.
> 
> he would not have been spared by itachi unless his connection to the clan was cut. i don't think obito would easily relinquish his ties to his clan, but he is like Naruto so i don't think he would participate in the coup de tat, and thus would leave. this is a good way to avoid itachi, no? if he was no longer "uchiha" then he may live.
> still an assumption. it can go both ways. as long as the writer is convincing and reasonable then i don't mind.



Many Uchiha do not develop the Sharingan, unlike the Byakugan it is not a garenteed family trait, so i really don't think the argument holds. Also, in Sasuke's flashback he saw the elderly were killed too, it's also been said that Sasuke was only spared because of Itachi's insistance, therefore I see no reason to believe that any Uchiha would have been spared whether or not they were in on it.



TekJounin said:


> As far as Neji and Hinata go, legally, they are cousins.  First cousins.  Most places ban marriage between first cousins.  It's just not a good idea for the gene pool.  When you're already aware of a mutation, it's probably not a good idea to mess with the genetics.
> 
> In spite of their legal relationship, they are children of identical twins.  That means that biologically, they are half-siblings.  Their fathers are essentially the same man, genetically.  Stir in the existing (and coveted) mutation of the Byakugan and you're quite likely to get gross mutations in any offspring.  It seems likely that the clan would be opposed to any such damage to the bloodlline.



always love the i*c*st arguments. Like with breeding dogs, if you want a genetic trait to continue, purebreds are the way to go. So "keeping it in the family" would actually be a good way to strengthen the bloodline. 

Marrying your first cousin has only become taboo in western cultures in the past 100 to 200 years or so - that's not really a long time, and is still common place in many parts of Asia, I'm pretty sure it's legal in Japan.

The thing about identical twin fathers making them the equivalent to half siblings is armchair biology bullshit.

genetic mutations need three generations of i*c*st between full siblings before they may appear.


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## TekJounin (Apr 28, 2011)

siyrean said:


> always love the i*c*st arguments. Like with breeding dogs, if you want a genetic trait to continue, purebreds are the way to go. So "keeping it in the family" would actually be a good way to strengthen the bloodline.
> 
> Marrying your first cousin has only become taboo in western cultures in the past 100 to 200 years or so - that's not really a long time, and is still common place in many parts of Asia, I'm pretty sure it's legal in Japan.
> 
> ...



My armchair is stuffed with brains.


*Spoiler*: __ 



17.5.1 Mortatlity and Morbidity Estimates for Incestuous Matings

As shown in Table 17.6, according to data on 213 children collated from the four best-know studies of i*c*st, conducted in the USA, UK, Czechoslovakia, and Canada over some 50 year, only 46.o% of incestuous pregnancies resulted in the birth of a healthy infant.  Follow-up ranged from 0.5 to 37 years, and among the incestuous offspring 39.4% had a recognized autosomal recessive disorder or a congenital malformation, had succumbed to sudden infant death, or had severe non-syndromic intellectual disability, with deaths in 14.1% of cases.  A further 14.6% of subjects had a mild disorder, including intellectual and developmental disability.  By comparison, just 8.0% of the 113 nonincestuous controls died or were diagnosed with a serious defect, suggesting a mean level of excess mortality or serious defect in the incestuous progeny of 31.4%.



Vogel and Motulsky's Human Genetics: Problems and Approaches
 By Michael R. Speicher, Stylianos E. Antonarakis, Arno G. Motulsky


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## GrandLordAtos (Apr 28, 2011)

Pet peeves in fanfiction...let's see, I have quite a few.

- Script format. Seriously, I want to read actual WRITING, not something you'd read over before auditioning for your school play. Now, for more humor based things, this can be entertaining, and I don't mind it. But if you have an actual story going on here, or something more meaningful, please actually take time and thought to write it out.

- Writing characters OOCly. This includes bashing, over exaggeration, or plain ignorance/lack of concern over how a character would act. For example, Sasuke NEVER acts like he's on happy pills (unless, y'know, he REALLY is, then I let it slide), Sakura isn't angry 180% of the time, Naruto may care about his friends and I can see him being a good boyfriend to a girl but he's far from a hopeless romantic who sputters poetic words, Hinata is not a jealous type/coward/slut/does not stutter much after timeskip (in case you didn't notice)/fat/evil (unless for humor purposes - let the cutie take over the world <3), Madara may be a lame villain but that's no reason to portray him as weak, oh, and Sasori is DEEPLY ANNOYED BY DEIDARA'S VERY PRESENCE. I could go on and on and on and on and on.

- Poor grammar. I can understand this if it isn't your first language, but don't make fanfic writers who actually take time and put in effort look bad just because you slept through English 101. Half the reason people don't read fics in the first place is because they're, nine times out of ten, horribly worded, riddled with spelling errors, or lack proper punctuation/indentation/etc. Among other reasons, but I'll move on...

- One paragraph chapters? Seriously people, put some effort - 2k words is NOT that hard to get at minimum if you describe scenes well, take some time to get into the characters heads, and don't cop out taking advantage of the presence of other characters just for the sake of building your favorite one up.

There are more I could go on about, but I will refrain - I'd probably produce about 10 pages worth of rage.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 1, 2011)

No keep going, this is good. 

It's interesting how many peopole share the same hatred for erors in grammar and OOCness.r


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## BellatrixLestrange (May 9, 2011)

On the whole Byakugan, NejiHina, and i*c*st situation, it depends on the individual story.  However, with genetic mutations, let's check out that German brother/sister couple that made the news a few years ago.  The first child born to them already has been diagnosed with a major problem called narcolepsy.  According to the articles, the mother called the authorities because the boy was failing to develop normally in other areas, too.  That's just one generation of inbreeding.

I generally do not like NejiHina or NejiHanabi fics if they have kids.

As for breeding the Byakugan into the family, it's simple.  It's a dominant trait and any children born without it are disowned from the clan at birth.  

Another explanation is that it's not just a dominant trait, but has some more subtle effects on the body than just white eyes.  Since genes encode for proteins and one protein can have multiple functions, the byakugan gene can cause white eyes by altering chakra development around the eyes, but also cause changes in the reproductive areas so that any sperm or egg that doesn't carry the gene is killed off by the slightly different from normal body.

Therefore, you don't need inbreeding, just a dominant gene and some laws that require people to hand over any child born with the Byakugan to the Hyuuga clan.


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## GrandLordAtos (May 9, 2011)

Itachifan727 said:


> No keep going, this is good.
> 
> It's interesting how many peopole share the same hatred for erors in grammar and OOCness.r



@_______________@ My inner grammar nazi just busted a vein reading that.


More pet peeves - Fics that start off written well, but degrade in quality over time. I can understand the writer getting tired of the subject and wanting to wrap things up, but don't halfass something that you've worked so hard on up till that point. Take the time to finish it right - you will regret it if you don't.

Stories that deviate so far from cannon that it hurts. Unless it's for a want-of-nail purpose, or an AU, it's just not my thing. Granted, I can understand wanting to do timeskips, having written a good fic prior to a cannon detail rendering it unfeasible, or if it's an anime/filler type of fanfiction that uses details from other media in the Naruto franchise entirely. This is a loose peeve though - some fics that go against this aren't honestly that bad.

Songfics. Don't write a scenario and fill half the entry with lyrics from your favorite Disney song! If you're gonna do that, make an AMV! Nuff said.


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## Abanikochan (May 12, 2011)

-I hate hate HATE OCs. Always Mary Sues and self-inserts. I'm tired of the thousands of Naruto OCs out there when the Naruto manga itself is guilty of having too many characters (that are often underdeveloped anyway). Use those! Don't create Sasuke's long lost sister with the 20th tailed beast, EMS, Rinnegan, and is so hot even he wants to have sex with her. GAH! 

-Fics where Sakura/Hinata/Ino get captured by the Akatsuki---> PARTY/ORGY TIME! 

-Fics where characters (ugh...and OCs) get hax power-ups. If you're going to give the character a power-up at least make it come at a cost (where the weakness isn't the rarest thing in the universe :/). And why is it that dojutsu is always the greatest power one can have? 

-Fics that seem to have promise but instead turn out being utterly cliche and predictable. I like fics that keep me guessing. 

-Pairing fics that are incredibly shallow. Character A only likes Character B because he/she is hot. For example, Sasuke likes Hinata because she also has a dojutsu or Deidara likes Ino because they have the same hairstyle. Boring! 

-When people misuse Japanese words or honorifics. Once read a fic where Deidara said Itachi-chan (in an affectionate and not condescending manner). Stopped reading that immediately. If you're confused about the usage of honorifics, either don't use it or do your research! Also the complete misunderstanding of Japanese culture in general. Showing affection in public is taboo! People obviously don't make out in the middle of the streets like they do in the US. 

-While I think it's great that people try to develop Sakura due to the lack of development Kishimoto has given her...making Sakura a slut does NOT equal development. She is probably the most malleable character in fanfiction but it typically degenerates into nymphomania and abuse of her character. 

-High school fics. No complexity, same plot, and the same recycled situations. Big bore. 

-Fics that simply just paraphrase events in manga word for word and panel by panel except with a new character added in (which is usually an OC).


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## RoaringAura (May 12, 2011)

Huh.

1) *Mary-Sue OCs* - I've noticed that the only good/bearable OCs are the ones that play a minor role and have a good enough amount of significance in the plot. I've never dared reading a fanfic with the OC as a main character. I've tried, but I was sweating a lot and I always end up not clicking the link.

2) *Cliche and Badly *- written Plots - I'm not one to avoid stories with a cliche plot AS LONG AS it's written well. I've read a few stories with similar plots but always there's one of it that I like more. It's because it's well-written (grammar, spelling, format, characterization).

3) *Sexual Tension* - When I read romance, even if it's a oneshot, I want the _build up_ of sexual tension. I mean, I hate fanfics when the girl and the boy immediately have intimate contact (kissing) without having to go through all the sexual tension. It's like drinking without an esophagus. -_-

4) *Unnecessary Sex* - I remember reading this really good fanfic. Simple but unique plot, with the romance subtle, but then it started to go wild and the characters jump at each other fuck all over the place WITHOUT sexual tension. It's a disaster. Like the above, a romance story needs sexual tension, and the sex doesn't need to happen every freaking time.

5) *Flat Characters* - Like eating a salty apple. I don't know why.

6) *Japanese Words* - When ridiculously large ones are thrown all over the place? I don't care if you have a translation in the author notes. When you write in English, stick to English (in Naruto's case, _as much as possible_).

7) *Over The Top* - Whether it's angst, drama, fluff or crack, I don't think moods should be exaggerated to the point of drowning the reader with absurdly large amounts of emotion. It makes me not want to read fanfics anymore.

8) *Author Notes* - that take half of the story's length. It's probably crap (in most cases) and unnecessary ramblings. I especially _hate _long conversations between the author and [insertfavoritecharacterhere].

9) *Discontinued WITHOUT A WORD* - I become really sad when that happens to my favorite fanfics. I mean, at least ask someone to continue it, especially if it's really good and you have tons of readers waiting for an update. The ironic fact? I did that with more than three WIP stories in my old account. Yeah, bastard. 

And the rest is already explained. (above pooosts)


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## Jena (May 14, 2011)

I hate stories where the set up is "Character A and Character B are assigned to go on a mission together. Too bad they didn't plan on facing their greatest enemy-_love_!"

I'm not saying that you can't have the characters go on a mission together (as I've seen several good authors do), but 90% of the time it's just an excuse to get them alone.


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## Lacie (May 20, 2011)

RoaringAura said:


> Huh.
> 
> 3) *Sexual Tension* - When I read romance, even if it's a oneshot, I want the _build up_ of sexual tension. I mean, I hate fanfics when the girl and the boy immediately have intimate contact (kissing) without having to go through all the sexual tension. It's like drinking without an esophagus. -_-



This. Sometimes it can even dull a good work by giving it a shitty ending.


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## Sadako (May 24, 2011)

Desert Butterfly said:


> 1. "The Raven", "The Brunette", "The Pinkette/Rosette" etc.
> 2. Naruto the Uke
> 3. Emo!Naruto
> 4. Sakura the bitch
> ...




I agree with almost every single one of these paragraphs. Especially
- The "pinkette/rosette". WHAT? Just... no.
- All Akatsuki members are rapists that just love to pounce on every poor little kunoichi in their way.
- Too much OOC (flirty, outspoken Hinata is a prime example)
- Lemons, where all guys are hung like horses and the couple always orgasm simultaneously.


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## Mael (May 24, 2011)

I've moved from Naruto to Warhammer 40K for the most part in terms of fiction, but with the War's Will of Fire series I still have going, I've learned from past mistakes and from these pet peeves:

1. Using hair as a consistent identifier - Good once or twice, but not ad nauseum.
2. Catch phrases - Dattebayo, shannaro, troublesome, and all that other shit.  Again, saying a classic Shikamaru complaint in a fiction isn't bad, but to have it every other sentence is terrible.
3. OCs - mostly because the people who write them can't seem to pull them off effectively if they're going to be integral to the plot.  You can make them randoms who play a very supportive role, but everything else is no.
4. Absurd theories concocted by more FC sections than anything else in fiction.
5. Absurd sexual situations *unless specifically intended for the lulz*.
6. OOC - While relative to the situation, too much of this is a bad thing.  It doesn't hurt to inject a little of what you'd like to see, but a whole new character personality is fucking retarded.  For example, making Sasuke a Chaos Space Marine allows you to inject traits from that universe, but it should still stay within some sensible bounds unless you're going to follow the rules of JUST ONE.  Recommendation, crossover for WW2 should have attitudes indicative of that era along with aesthetic.
7. Too much foreign wording in an English fic.  If someone is however meant to portray a foreigner, then do so.  However the honorifics are fucking annoying.
8. Honorifics - I'm provincial.  Deal with it.

Most notorious of all however:

High school fics - Cliche, boring, overrated, shitty, unoriginal, need I go on?


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## Kankurette (May 24, 2011)

Poor old Hiashi. One of the more misunderstood dads, IMO. Yes, he is a bit of an arse but he does get better.

Mael - as someone who loves Rock Lee and is tired of him saying 'youth' all the time, I definitely agree with 2.

The comment about ANBU reminded me of how some writers make everyone and their mum an ANBU. I can see Shino as an ANBU, or Sasuke since his brother was, or the Hyuuga kids, but Chouji? Lee? HELL NO.


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## TekJounin (May 24, 2011)

*Continuity* - 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Sakura collapses after a failed surgery and is tended by Mikoto, who removes Sakura's bloody medic uniform & dressed her in Itachi's t-shirt and nothing else.  Sakura wakes up hours later, shrugs off the shirt, then sees a plate of onigiri, which she takes to the rooftop to eat.  Itachi shows up and chats with her.  _My god, so casual while she's naked!  Oh, wait.  She's back in the shirt.  WTH?_

Itachi slings his Akatsuki cloak over a chair and inevitably gropes Sakura, who fists her hands in his cloak.  _No mention of her crossing the room to the chair in order to reach the cloak._

Sakura gets slammed face-first into a tree.  Her attacker pins her to the tree, his chest to her back and both of her hands held over her head with one of his hands (and a very strong cliche, I'm sure).  Inevitably, he becomes aroused by her breasts pressing into his chest (while she's presumably still eating bark) and puts a hand to some body part of hers.  She reaches up & cradles his face with her hands, pulling his head down for a heated kiss and he puts his hand on another body part, while keeping her hands pinned (so she can mewl about not being able to touch him while the bark scrapes her cheek).  _Such contortionists and so many, many hands._

Sakura looks at (hot guy), hoping he doesn't notice the blush that is spreading across his face.  He gently strokes his cheek and she leans into the warmth.  _I didn't know people could change gender so easily.  Or are they really fondling themselves?_




*Superlatives abuse* - 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Seriously, how many people are absolutely flawless  at all times?  With hair that simply shines and lays perfectly, even after a battle, or clear porcelain skin after camping for a week?  Everything they own is swanky and what they do or think is just right.  _Who is perfectly perfect?  I like characters who, while they may be deservedly impressive and well-groomed, are still human.  I can't say I'm interested in the idea of a perfect, plastic character.  Don't we have enough supermodels already to make us feel bad by comparison?_




*Hygiene* - 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Yeah, getting dressed after vigorous sex without even a wetnap for cleanup?  It's gonna be sticky, probably uncomfortable and a bit smelly.  Well, if you're doing it right.  

Same with having an alluring scent after a balls-to-the-walls sparring session.  There's gonna be BO and I don't know anyone who really smells appealing when sweaty.

And while I'm beating that horse, giving people distinctive scents.  I can understand the desire to make a character so real that the reader will actually smell them but it can be overdone, particularly when it's a laundry list of scents.  Fresh spearmint, cedar, vetivier, fresh-cut grass, ash, peaches, strawberries, mangoes, whatever.  Why can't they just smell clean or nice or masculine?  If you've just bathed in a stream, you're gonna smell like the stream and your soap.  And maybe a little like fish.




*Realism* - 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Seriously.  We know these are flying ninjas we're talking about but there are limits.  For example, this example from an actual story:

"The guards that had moved him ended up needing to carry him-Sasuke hadn't moved one single time in almost two years, and his muscles couldn't handle the sudden strain of walking."

_He hadn't moved once in 2 years?!  If he'd been sitting in his own bodily waste that long, he should have died from disease & general grossness.  If he hadn't performed bodily functions, he was backed up enough to die from it.  If he hadn't eaten, well, yeah.  Starvation would have done him in well before that._

"After a fatal training accident, Sasuke is diagnosed with an illness that leaves him disabled and dying."  _A *fatal* accident that he lived through?  Wow.  If Uchihas are that tough, then Itachi shouldn't have died._


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## Kakashifan727 (May 24, 2011)

/\ LOLOL the realism was just...

it's seriously that bad. *goes to check own fics...* I admit I screw up a lot, and more so in my earlier years but some of these are just bad.


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## Mael (May 25, 2011)

Thanks for reminding me, Kank.

ANBU.  Fucking overrated ANBU.


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## BlazingCobaltX (May 25, 2011)

- SasuNaru, too much Sasuke worshipping for me. 
- OOC'ness
- Sakura bashing 
- Bad written lemons
- Bad written stories
- Sudden 180 degrees plot twist
- Threesomes
- Bad plot
- Bad grammar/spelling
- Begging for R&R like a maniac.
- Naruto suddenly getting angry on Sakura because she hits him. I even read a story when Sakura said to Naruto "You're not my type" and Naruto comitted suicide. Come on... 
- OC's as main characters. Really, I don't mind OC's, as long as they're not the main characters. 
- Songfics
- Referring to Sakura as "The Rosette"


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## WolfPrinceKiba (May 25, 2011)

I'll just name my top pet peeves with Naruto fanfics. OOCness, AU fics and highschool fics.


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## Kankurette (May 25, 2011)

Great, now I'm thinking of Naruto's cock going "NNNNNRRRRREEEAAARGH".

Mael - ANBU are supposed to be stealthy, right? So why put one of the loudest, flashest, hammiest kids in Konoha, _and_ a guy who can turn into a giant, in there? It doesn't make sense. Actually, I can't really see Shikamaru as an ANBU either, he's more likely to be in Intel, but that's probably cos I read a horrible fic where Shikamaru was an ANBU and he turned into Sasuke. He killed Temari in it too.


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## Jena (May 25, 2011)

Kankurette said:


> Great, now I'm thinking of Naruto's cock going "NNNNNRRRRREEEAAARGH".



 Thanks! This visual will get me through math class.

I'd also like to add that the presence of the word "moist" in any fic is horrendous, especially when used in conjunction with "entrance".


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## TekJounin (May 25, 2011)

ANBU!  It's always sort of bugged me that authors assume it's another rank that has to be earned by testing.  Normally, I can let it go because they probably just don't understand the ranks.  But you don't "try out" for ANBU like it's the pep squad.


*Spoiler*: _Ninja Ranks_ 



*Regular Forces:*


*Genin *(low ninja): academy graduates who must work to improve their skills and strength before taking a rigorous exam in order to move to the next rank.  They normally go on D-rank, possibly C-rank missions.

*Chuunin* (middle ninja): ninja who have passed the chuunin exam and are qualified to lead missions and guide other ninja.  They are usually sent on C- or B-rank missions.

*Tokubetsu Jounin *(special jounin): usually jounin level in a specialty field, rather than all-around skilled, like a regular jounin.

*Jounin* (high ninja): highly experienced ninja with great skills.  Typically sent on A-rank missions, occasionally on S-rank.  They often take solo missions.  Jounin are elite and normally have at least two elemental chakra affinities, some genjutsu and better than average taijutsu.

*Special Ranks and Functions*

*ANBU* (literal meaning: dark side, short for *An*satsu Sejutsu Tokushu *Bu*tai: literal meaning: Special Assassination and Tactical Squad):  these elite ninja are hand-picked by the Kage and serve directly under the Kage.  Age, gender, background and previous rank are not factors in their selection; it is at the Kage's discretion to select the individuals that are considered exemplary for the tasks that the village needs, especially for missions that require stealth and circumspection.  There are no ranks in ANBU; however, the ninja who is in charge of the mission is designated "squad leader."

*Kage *is not a ninja rank.  This is the title of the leader of the Hidden Village, nothing more.  Historically, this position is filled by the strongest and most dedicated ninja from the village who is available and willing to take on the task.  This individual is nominated for the position and must be approved by the Village Council.  While the Kage is regarded as one of the strongest ninja in the village, others may be just as strong but were not nominated or, if nominated, were not approved.  This does not mean that they are necessarily lower in strength, power or skills, it simply means you can only have one Kage at a time.

*Sannin *is not a ninja rank.  Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru were given the title of Densetsu no Sannin: Legendary Sannin (sannin is literally "three persons") by Hanzo after they particularly impressed him in battle.  One does not become a sannin, as an individual is a single person, not three.  When referred to singly, any of that group were called "one of the legendary sannin."


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## Kakashifan727 (May 25, 2011)

TJ makes a good point. Confusing Sennin(Sage, I think) with Sannin is another bad misuse.


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## TekJounin (May 25, 2011)

You're right and I'd forgotten to include sennin in the list.  It does mean "sage" or master (in the sense of having mastery of a technique, in this case it's the mastery of secret toad arts).  The Sage of the Six Paths (Rikudō Sennin) was the legendary figure who founded the arts of ninjutsu and created the ninja world.  He had mastery of the 6 paths, due to his rinnegan.

 is really quite profane, so don't click if you don't care to deal with vulgar language, but it does lay out some basics that people seem to struggle with when writing.


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## Ailuro (May 26, 2011)

Kankurette said:


> I can't really see Shikamaru as an ANBU either, he's more likely to be in Intel, but that's probably *cos I read a horrible fic where Shikamaru was an ANBU and he turned into Sasuke. He killed Temari in it too.*



Now I'm curious. I've never come across evil Shikamaru or Temari being killed.


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## Mael (May 26, 2011)

Kankurette said:


> Great, now I'm thinking of Naruto's cock going "NNNNNRRRRREEEAAARGH".
> 
> Mael - ANBU are supposed to be stealthy, right? So why put one of the loudest, flashest, hammiest kids in Konoha, _and_ a guy who can turn into a giant, in there? It doesn't make sense. Actually, I can't really see Shikamaru as an ANBU either, he's more likely to be in Intel, but that's probably cos I read a horrible fic where Shikamaru was an ANBU and he turned into Sasuke. He killed Temari in it too.



The ONLY time I used ANBU was to basically come up with an equivalent to the US Army Rangers established in the 1940s, a light infantry unit meant for big time operations where armor/air power couldn't get the job done completely.  Even then I didn't ham them up.


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## Sadako (May 26, 2011)

Oh, I can't believe I forgot to add one of my biggest pet peeves - when the author tries to use some of the Japanese words used in the manga and/or anime but gets them completely wrong. I've seen "justu", "charka" and "shisui" (instead of shishou) one too many times. Of course I won't care if it happens once or twice, it might just be a typo, but when a whole chapter is dedicated to Sakura's new "justu" I just get out of there. Fast.


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## krescentwolf (May 27, 2011)

Kankurette said:


> Great, now I'm thinking of Naruto's cock going "NNNNNRRRRREEEAAARGH".



I aim to please. 

It's still a better image than most fanfiction lemons will throw at you... and that really says something.

I don't mind some occasional OOCness, especially in a crack-pairing fic. But it does take a certain level of skill to take a character out of their established role. 

One other thing I forgot to add, is when someone posts an unformated chapter. Giant Wall of Text is a definite sign for hitting that nice ol' red and white X


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## TekJounin (May 27, 2011)

If you want to find out how much some of this stuff is perpetuated, go to your favorite search engine (I used Google) and type in: +pinkette +naruto +site:fanfiction.net

*Pinkette *returns about 12,200 results

Just replace "pinkette" with the word you want to find.  More than one word, like "the raven" should be enclosed in quotes.

*The Raven* returns about 49,000 results

*+"pinky" +naruto +site:fanfiction.net -"pinky promise" -"pinky and the brain"* returns about 17,300 results  (Boolean operators )

*Rosette* returns about 8,550 results

*Gondaime *returns about 1,450 results

*Charka *returns about 8,340

*Orbs *returns about 37,600

*Pink haired* returns about 115,000

*Smirk* returns about 183,000

*Justu* returns about 8,130 results

*Stoic* returns about 37,500

*Shrieked* returns about 26,600 results

*+Sakura +tears* returns about 185,000 results

YMMV


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## Kakashifan727 (May 29, 2011)

LOOOL 

Wait, is it wrong to say "The raven/blonde/pink haired Uchiha/Naruto/Sakura/ninja/shinobi/etc." cause I am guilty of doing it...


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## TekJounin (May 29, 2011)

If that's all to describe on person, it's _so very wrong_.  

But seriously, overdoing it is the crime.  Think of a professional writer's work of fiction that you've read: did the author refer to characters constantly by characteristics, like hair or eye color?  People have names to differentiate them from each other and that's often sufficient.  

A world where people were mainly referred to by characteristics would be dreadfully confusing.

Example 1:"I was talking to the blond the other day..."  "Which blond, the one with the fan, the one who runs the village or the one in orange?"​ _Use of proper name would eliminate this._

Example 2:"I was talking to Naruto the other day.  That's one blond who never seems let his spirits flag."​ _Reference to hair color is pointless, unless one is slamming blonds in general.  The word "guy" instead of "blond" is less judgmental and gets the point across._


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## Kakashifan727 (May 29, 2011)

Hah, I just didn't feel like typing it out in three of four different sentences XD.

No, not constantly...Though I seem to use it more recently than I did before. I'm usually good when referring to other persons in conversations, at least I think so...Here's an example from a couple paragraphs of my work.


*Spoiler*: __ 



_Naruto finishes the sentence for him, the Uchiha too shaken to respond. Looking around at their small makeshift camp, their supplies bundle in one corner and the entrance to the cave in another, Sasuke sighs. Naruto is busy looking down at his feet, trying to ignore Sakura's moans and small screams of pain. Turning to the Uchiha, Naruto's mouth moves slowly, but then stops in the middle of forming a word. Sasuke stares the blond ninja quizzically, waiting for him to get the courage to speak._

This isn't the best example but...

_“How long are you going to be sleeping on top of me? I can't feel my legs.”

“Sorry...I used more chakra than I thought using all those jutsu. Even though its been a few days, I still feel kinda tired. It takes me longer to recover chakra, not having any physical energy, you know.”

Naruto helped pull the half-asleep Anbu to a sitting position, the two watching dawn break through the gaps in the trees. Naruto sighed, prompting an odd look from his mentor/father figure.

“I just...have a feeling...what if we won't be able to spend time like this anymore? What if something happens to one of us? What will we do?”

Kakashi stared at Naruto, draping one hand over the boy's shoulder, his face grinning and yet serious at the same time.

“I'll make sure nothing like that happens. I'll protect you with my life, I swear it. Well, I'm not really...alive but you get what I mean! Not like I can die twice anyways. Trust me, everything'll be fine. You're worrying too much.”

“...Fine, but I'm gonna hold you to that!”

“Promise of a lifetime, Naruto-kun. Promise of a lifetime.”_


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## TekJounin (May 29, 2011)

I don't see anything wrong with those examples.  It's not that using other descriptors is bad, per se, it's the over use or abuse of them that concerns most people.  


*Spoiler*: __ 



Maybe especially when the words are made up, like "pinkette."  And "rosette" means "a small rose," a holiday cookie or decorative trim that resembles a rose.  Not "pink."  "Roseate" does mean "pink-colored" but I've seen it used as if it were a substitute for a name.  "He could not find the roseate" is akin to saying "He could not find the pink-colored," clearly an incomplete subject.  And saying "He could not find the rosette" makes it sound like his doorway trim is missing a decoration.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 29, 2011)

Okay, now I see what you're getting at.


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## L7997 (Jun 16, 2011)

TekJounin said:


> If you want to find out how much some of this stuff is perpetuated, go to your favorite search engine (I used Google) and type in: +pinkette +naruto +site:fanfiction.net
> 
> *Pinkette *returns about 12,200 results
> 
> ...



that's pretty amazing. doing this would help fanfiction writers avoid using redundant words, phrases, descriptions, etc. gosh what ever happened to imagery? this skill is not fully utilized or worked on because the characters already have a face and voice.


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## edelweiss (Jun 16, 2011)

Pasted this directly from my FF.net account..

Biggest turn offs/dislikes when reading a fanfic:

1. Grammatical/spelling errors in abundance.

2. Large word bricks...as in, large paragraphs of wording and dialogue that is not spaced out. It makes a fic very difficult and tiring to read.

3. OCCness. I really hate when characters do not retain their personalities in fanfiction. You can still manipulate your plot and have a non canon pairing end up together without having to change their character too drastically. However, I am all for manipulating powers and abilities: it definitely adds to the plot if used correctly and not just used for Mary Sue-ing. Which brings me to my next dislike..

4. Mary Sues & bad OCs. Please, for the love of god, keep yourself out of your fanfiction. And don't make up a terribly cliche OC who is gorgeous, smart, has purple hair, is named Rayne, and has epic man-winning powers. O LAWD SAVE US.

5. Ridiculously slow updating. Nothing drives me away from a fic more than when it isn't updated for more than 6 months. By that time, I'll have read so many other fics I'll have to re read yours again just to remember what happened. And it really sucks to have to do that with a long story. *sigh*


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## L7997 (Jun 16, 2011)

Dogma said:


> It's probably already been said, but seeing as this thread is pretty old....
> 
> ~Lame OC's
> 
> I'm alittle more forgiving on the Mary-Stu's and Gary-Stu's. But I swear if another long lost relative of someone in the Narutoverse pops up I'm going to lose it.



i don't quite get this. the lame OC can be a Mary/Gary too; so why would a Mary stu/ Gary stu be forgiven if they're used?

you mean the canon characters being mary/gary ish?


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## TekJounin (Jun 16, 2011)

L7997 said:


> i don't quite get this. the lame OC can be a Mary/Gary too; so why would a Mary stu/ Gary stu be forgiven if they're used?
> 
> you mean the canon characters being mary/gary ish?



If an OC is introduced to a story as a bad guy and is all Stu-ed up, or if a ninja from another village hires the Konoha nin & fights along side them with kick-ass abilities, they serve the storyline without changing the ninjaverse drastically.  They're no worse than filler characters.

If an OC is Sasuke's beautiful cousin, who suddenly appears because she was in Iwa shopping for _amazing_ shoes at the time of the massacre, then spends the rest of the story being trailed around by the male population while she has her clothing changes revealed in detail, she's a lame OC.

Stu-ing up canon characters can be dicey, too.  I don't understand the need to have Sakura suddenly develop a kekkei genkai or have a 12-tailed wolf spirit sealed in her.  Come on, green Sharingan?  Really?  I guess it's acceptable to some folks to want to have her be equal to the guys on her team that way, since Kishi isn't very fair to the females in the story, but I probably won't read it.


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## UmWhatever (Jun 16, 2011)

lol This thread is a lot of fun. :] Most of my pet peeves have already been pointed out, but I'm just gonna list some more. 

Btw, I tend to mostly read pairing fics so ya might find a focus on these types in my list. 

- *Grammar/Spelling errors*. I urge you to get a beta reader if you have trouble checking these on your own. Hell, I'm even willing to do it. 

- *Huge blocks of text or space between literally every sentence*. Both forms make it difficult and inconvenient to read. 

- *Use of Japanese words*. For one thing, Japanese has a whole form of writing distinct from English. So what you're writing when you type "kawaii" is really just an English phonetic writing of a Japanese word, not actual Japanese. Just sayin'. Furthermore, not everyone knows these words. Even if you put a little dictionary at the bottom, who wants to have to scroll down in the middle of reading just to see the definition for a word when that word could easily have been translated in the text? Just say cute, ffs! 

- *Incorrect use of honorifics*. Honestly, I'm alright with and even like the use of honorifics. That's because they are hard to translate. We don't really have an English equivalent of -kun or -chan. Mr., Ms., Miss, and Mrs. can be used for -san but it often sounds awkward when used among kids. It does get annoying, though, when they're used incorrectly.

I read this one where a girl called a boy with the -kun suffix and the other girls got mad at her because they thought she was being too familiar with him and they all liked him (they were all little kids). I don't get it at all. It's not unusual for people to use that suffix in a formal manner rather than affectionate. Uryuu Ishida and Orihime Inoue from Bleach both use formal honorifics, calling all dudes around their age with -kun and the girls with -san. Hinata does this, too, I believe. So, yeah, I don't think everyone truly gets which honorifics are formal and which are not. I don't know much about it either, except from what I can see from reading manga.  

And one thing I noticed is that a lot of Naruto fics have the characters calling each other by surname. Very few of them actually do that in canon, even if Japanese people usually do. This is partly because many of them have known each other since childhood (like the rookies), so they're close enough to use given names. 

- *OOCness*. I understand that this can be hard to avoid with characters that are difficult to understand, but sometimes it just goes to ridiculous lengths. Even in an AU, I don't see why characters have to be changed so much. I read fanfiction for the characters in a story I already like, not to read stories of random people that have the same names and physical appearance of those characters. Completely misses the point.

- *Character bashing*. mad Often used in pairing fics, which annoys the hell outta me. 

- . For those not familiar with this trope, it's basically an exaggeration of a specific character trait. The excessive use of certain sayings characters are known for (troublesome, dattebayo, believe it, etc.) would fall under this category. Also, Sakura constantly hitting anything that moves and Sasuke saying nothing but "Hn" (which I don't recall him ever saying in canon, actually). Characters usually aren't so two dimensional. There's more to how they behave than those one or two things that kind of stick out about them. This is actually a form of OOCness, too. 

- *When character evolutions are ignored*. This is another form of OOCness. Gaara's not the psycho murderer anymore. Neji doesn't hate Hinata anymore. He actually loves her now (and I mean this in a totally familial way). But too many fics completely ignore these changes, which is a real shame. 

- *OCs*. It's a personal preference, but I just don't like them to be a major part of the story. For some reason, it just makes me feel awkward to think that some random person who doesn't exist in the Naruverse would suddenly be so important to one or more of the characters. 

- *Mary Sues/Gary Stus*. This is obvious. Naruto characters being perfect automatically makes them ooc. Furthermore, it's boring to read about a character who has very few flaws, is stupidly unique, and has a hoard of people in love with them. 

- *Emphasis on clothing*. "_____ put on a purple top, black skirt, and fishnet stockings. ____ wore..." It's unnecessary, annoying, and often times the clothes don't fit with the character at all. It's another form of self-insertion.

- *Second person POV*. Umm...I'm not Sakura/Hinata/Naruto/any Naruto character. Why is the story written like I'm the one doing all these things? I understand that some think it could be interesting, but it's pretty weird to me. Also bothersome is when the story isn't written in second person but a random sentence is; for instance, when the author is trying to explain something to the audience (something like "And then she used her family technique to defeat the bad guy, you know like the one in chapter 246").

- *Mixing up POVs and tenses*. Is the story written in past or present tense? Is it in first person or third? You can't just switch willy-nilly between these and expect people to just roll with it.

- *Akatsuki*. This is partly because I personally was never attached to any of them (I like them well enough and think they're interesting, but I knew they were all going down one way or another and they _were _kind of the bad guys, after all). However, it's also because they're characterized so awkwardly in fics. For instance, they've never been shown to be the romantic types in canon yet they always fall head over heels for someone in pairing/harem fics. 

- *Harems*. I'm including threesomes and such here. Yeah, personal preference, mostly. I just don't like it and it often turns the person in the middle of the harem into a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

- *Cheating*. Very few characters in Naruto are the type to cheat, imo. Especially, uh, _Naruto _who "never goes back on [his] word."  Plus, too many of them are just plain uninterested in or too busy for sex/romance while others focus on one person. And why does cheating need to be the set up to make another pairing happen? 

- *Rape to love*. UGH. This seems to be prevalent in Sasuke pairing fics. Sasuke has never been interested in sex, honestly. Especially not in an aggressive way. And why make his or another rapist's victim fall for him in the end???  It's so creepy and disgusting. What a pile of Stockholm Syndrome bull.

- *Healing love/sex*. "Person A is sad about something. Can Person B help?" or whatever. Basically the setup to get A and B together is to have A vulnerable and B available and oh-so-comforting. I hate it because it feels unnatural. Especially when combined with the cheating deal. 

- *Arranged marriages*. It was kind of interesting at first. But, wow, is it overdone. Especially with characters in clans of nobility (Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, Rukia from Bleach). 

- This one's pretty specific, but I don't like it when Sakura is basically turned into one of the other characters. Like when she's suddenly the one with the tragic background or rare family techniques. She's interesting in part because of how normal she is. I don't really care even if it's an AU, I think it's weird to alter the characters so drastically. Might as well write your own original story, which isn't bad at all. 


*Spoiler*: _High School Fics_ 




This is basically my rant on why I think HS fics have potential but always suck. 

Potential:
High school is a big place. Which means there's the opportunity for so many characters to be involved. The kids could be the students. The adults could be teachers, faculty members, or just parents. And it'd be so much fun to see how these ninja would act when placed in a normal, modern day situation. What would their new goals be? How would their conflicts and friendships with other characters be focused? What subject would the teachers teach? Etc. 

I'm uninterested in certain other AU situations (like cowboy stories, historical stories, fantasy, kingdom stuff, and others). This is one I can get behind because it's so simple. And it should be easy to keep up with compared to others.

Actually, I like work fics, too. I once read a really hilarious one where everyone worked at a magazine place, I think. Anyway, it was funny, though the characters weren't very much like themselves...

Suckage:
HS fics often have a lot of problems.

Bad writing/many grammar mistakes. 
OOCness. 

Too much stereotyping. Um, I don't care what High School you went to, no need to turn everything into a battle of geeks vs preps vs punk/goths vs jocks or whatever. Where the hell does that happen that this idea is so prevalent, especially in American HS movies which often influence these fics? 

"Sasuke, Naruto, other dudes are the hot guys blah blah blah." Why is there always a group of popular hotties when almost none of the Naruto characters can fit in this category? It's so embarrassing. Sasuke is definitely popular, but he sure as hell doesn't bask in it. And omG none of them are playboys. I can't tell you how creeped out I get by Sasuke or someone trying to flirt with a bunch of girls, bein' all suave about it. *shudder* The girls aren't particularly promiscuous either. Ino and Karin are kinda flirtatious, but only towards the ones they like. So why are they constantly clubbing and trying to screw every guy they see? This isn't dominant high school student behavior, either. 

There's a whole lot of other ways these types of fics fail, really. :/




lol This is a bit much for someone who rarely reads fics nowadays. I'm sorry.


----------



## poorboy (Jun 17, 2011)

UmWhatever said:


> - *Grammar/Spelling errors*. I urge you to get a beta reader if you have trouble checking these on your own. Hell, I'm even willing to do it.



True.  As soon as i see a fic with all lowercase typed, I immediately steer clear of it.



> - *Huge blocks of text or space between literally every sentence*. Both forms make it difficult and inconvenient to read.



A wall of text is indeed an issue; makes it difficult for anyone to read.  Essentially, a rule of thumb is one central idea = one paragraph.

I don't mind a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs in quick succession, though.  Perhaps due to my experience in theatrical writing, where one must be as concise as possible.



> - *Use of Japanese words*. For one thing, Japanese has a whole form of writing distinct from English. So what you're writing when you type "kawaii" is really just an English phonetic writing of a Japanese word, not actual Japanese. Just sayin'. Furthermore, not everyone knows these words. Even if you put a little dictionary at the bottom, who wants to have to scroll down in the middle of reading just to see the definition for a word when that word could easily have been translated in the text? Just say cute, ffs!



Depends.  I wouldn't go '_arigatou_' for 'thank you' or '_kawaii_' for cute most of the time, unless I have a very good reason to do it (such as leaving the village...permanently).

I'm kinda on the fence about _jutsu_ (techniques).  I'd say the author have to be consistent on this one:  If you use English, use English all the time.  If you use Japanese, then always use Japanese.

On the other hand, terms such as _sushi_, _kunai_, _katsudon_, and _kimono_ are best left untranslated.



> - *Incorrect use of honorifics*. Honestly, I'm alright with and even like the use of honorifics. That's because they are hard to translate. We don't really have an English equivalent of -kun or -chan. Mr., Ms., Miss, and Mrs. can be used for -san but it often sounds awkward when used among kids. It does get annoying, though, when they're used incorrectly.
> 
> ....
> 
> And one thing I noticed is that a lot of Naruto fics have the characters calling each other by surname. Very few of them actually do that in canon, even if Japanese people usually do. This is partly because many of them have known each other since childhood (like the rookies), so they're close enough to use given names.



True, there are fics out there that use honourifics incorrectly.

On the issue of surnames, well...it all depends.  If the story followed canon where they continuously hanged around each other since childhood, they yeah, there's no reason for them to be calling each other by surname.  But if, for example, Naruto never met any of his teammates before being assigned to them, then Naruto _should_ be calling them by surname since they're virtually strangers.  Being addressed by your given name on the day you first meet would be very demeaning and insulting to a Japanese person.



> - *OOCness*. I understand that this can be hard to avoid with characters that are difficult to understand, but sometimes it just goes to ridiculous lengths. Even in an AU, I don't see why characters have to be changed so much. I read fanfiction for the characters in a story I already like, not to read stories of random people that have the same names and physical appearance of those characters. Completely misses the point.
> 
> - *Character bashing*. mad Often used in pairing fics, which annoys the hell outta me.
> 
> - . For those not familiar with this trope, it's basically an exaggeration of a specific character trait. The excessive use of certain sayings characters are known for (troublesome, dattebayo, believe it, etc.) would fall under this category. Also, Sakura constantly hitting anything that moves and Sasuke saying nothing but "Hn" (which I don't recall him ever saying in canon, actually). Characters usually aren't so two dimensional. There's more to how they behave than those one or two things that kind of stick out about them. This is actually a form of OOCness, too.



Must agree on you on that one.  I may give a little leeway for minor or gradual changes to keep things interesting (otherwise, it'd be boring), but if it's OOC, then it's virtually an OC.



> - *When character evolutions are ignored*. This is another form of OOCness. Gaara's not the psycho murderer anymore. Neji doesn't hate Hinata anymore. He actually loves her now (and I mean this in a totally familial way). But too many fics completely ignore these changes, which is a real shame.



Once again, it all depends.  A lot of fics out there don't make it past the timeskip, and I don't mind having these developments ignored if the fic is set before the timeskip.

If the fic is set after the timeskip, you better have a pretty good reason why the character hadn't developed.



> - *OCs*. It's a personal preference, but I just don't like them to be a major part of the story. For some reason, it just makes me feel awkward to think that some random person who doesn't exist in the Naruverse would suddenly be so important to one or more of the characters.
> 
> - *Mary Sues/Gary Stus*. This is obvious. Naruto characters being perfect automatically makes them ooc. Furthermore, it's boring to read about a character who has very few flaws, is stupidly unique, and has a hoard of people in love with them.
> 
> - *Emphasis on clothing*. "_____ put on a purple top, black skirt, and fishnet stockings. ____ wore..." It's unnecessary, annoying, and often times the clothes don't fit with the character at all. It's another form of self-insertion.



True, especially on the clothing part.  I think it's just a ploy for most authors to bump their word count up.  Unless it's got something to do with the plot (such as a joke), there's no need to devote 500 words describing what the person's wearing.



> - *Second person POV*. Umm...I'm not Sakura/Hinata/Naruto/any Naruto character. Why is the story written like I'm the one doing all these things? I understand that some think it could be interesting, but it's pretty weird to me. Also bothersome is when the story isn't written in second person but a random sentence is; for instance, when the author is trying to explain something to the audience (something like "And then she used her family technique to defeat the bad guy, you know like the one in chapter 246").



I'm more irked about Author's Notes inserted in the middle of prose.  It simply breaks the mood the reader's in.  Unless its a translation of the Japanese, please put any explanations as an appendix.



> - *Mixing up POVs and tenses*. Is the story written in past or present tense? Is it in first person or third? You can't just switch willy-nilly between these and expect people to just roll with it.



Guilty as charged!  Though that's more due to my background writing plays (which are written in the present tense) more than anything else.  I try to make a conscious effort to have the narration of my stories written in the past tense, though.



> - *Akatsuki*. This is partly because I personally was never attached to any of them (I like them well enough and think they're interesting, but I knew they were all going down one way or another and they _were _kind of the bad guys, after all). However, it's also because they're characterized so awkwardly in fics. For instance, they've never been shown to be the romantic types in canon yet they always fall head over heels for someone in pairing/harem fics.
> 
> - *Harems*. I'm including threesomes and such here. Yeah, personal preference, mostly. I just don't like it and it often turns the person in the middle of the harem into a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.
> 
> ...



True.



> - *Arranged marriages*. It was kind of interesting at first. But, wow, is it overdone. Especially with characters in clans of nobility (Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, Rukia from Bleach).
> 
> - This one's pretty specific, but I don't like it when Sakura is basically turned into one of the other characters. Like when she's suddenly the one with the tragic background or rare family techniques. She's interesting in part because of how normal she is. I don't really care even if it's an AU, I think it's weird to alter the characters so drastically. Might as well write your own original story, which isn't bad at all.



You know what would make things interesting? If we could use two or three of this cliches, turn them around and have fun with it, and still end up with a good fic.  For example, OnokiXTemari, anyone?


----------



## UmWhatever (Jun 17, 2011)

Wow, thanks for actually taking the time to read all that, *poorboy*. XD



poorboy said:


> True.  As soon as i see a fic with all lowercase typed, I immediately steer clear of it.
> 
> A wall of text is indeed an issue; makes it difficult for anyone to read.  Essentially, a rule of thumb is one central idea = one paragraph.
> 
> I don't mind a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs in quick succession, though.  Perhaps due to my experience in theatrical writing, where one must be as concise as possible.



Right, right. 

Oh, you write plays? Interesting. :] Well, it's not a huge deal to me, but it does make it somehow awkward for me to read. It also makes the fic look longer than it is (I often avoid reading long fics, haha).



> Depends.  I wouldn't go '_arigatou_' for 'thank you' or '_kawaii_' for cute most of the time, unless I have a very good reason to do it (such as leaving the village...permanently).
> 
> I'm kinda on the fence about _jutsu_ (techniques).  I'd say the author have to be consistent on this one:  If you use English, use English all the time.  If you use Japanese, then always use Japanese.
> 
> On the other hand, terms such as _sushi_, _kunai_, _katsudon_, and _kimono_ are best left untranslated.



Oh, I agree that terms such as those should go untranslated. I don't know what katsudon means...but most of the others are not really translatable or are well-known in the Naruto fandom because they're used in the manga/anime.



> True, there are fics out there that use honourifics incorrectly.
> 
> On the issue of surnames, well...it all depends.  If the story followed canon where they continuously hanged around each other since childhood, they yeah, there's no reason for them to be calling each other by surname.  But if, for example, Naruto never met any of his teammates before being assigned to them, then Naruto _should_ be calling them by surname since they're virtually strangers.  Being addressed by your given name on the day you first meet would be very demeaning and insulting to a Japanese person.



Yeah, I agree it depends. I usually go for canon-based fics, anyway. XD But even if Naruto had never met them, somehow I'd imagine he would still call them by first name. Naruto is kinda rude, after all (though this could change depending on the fic). And a lot of characters are referred to by given name even if they're not close (Zabuza...). Some don't even have known surnames...Which is pretty annoying, tbh. 
Like you said, it depends. :]



> Must agree on you on that one.  I may give a little leeway for minor or gradual changes to keep things interesting (otherwise, it'd be boring), but if it's OOC, then it's virtually an OC.



Yeah, definitely.



> Once again, it all depends.  A lot of fics out there don't make it past the timeskip, and I don't mind having these developments ignored if the fic is set before the timeskip.
> 
> If the fic is set after the timeskip, you better have a pretty good reason why the character hadn't developed.



Obviously, it depends on what time the fic is set, I agree.  But I too often see Neji hating on Hinata in fics set after all his revelations (which actually take place before the timeskip; he was shown being very friendly to Hinata at the end of part I and I'm sure that had begun since his fight with Naruto...actually I'd like to read a fic where he begins to change his behavior, that'd be really interesting. ). 

...And I notice that fics written in AU often seem to choose to keep the initial personalities and behaviors of the characters (crazy Gaara, hateful-destiny-obsessed Neji, Naruto-hating Sakura, etc.). Which makes it boring to me, unless they develop. 



> True, especially on the clothing part.  I think it's just a ploy for most authors to bump their word count up.  Unless it's got something to do with the plot (such as a joke), there's no need to devote 500 words describing what the person's wearing.



Hah, that's probably true. Agreed.



> I'm more irked about Author's Notes inserted in the middle of prose.  It simply breaks the mood the reader's in.  Unless its a translation of the Japanese, please put any explanations as an appendix.



Yeah, same here. And it's a sign that your writing needs to be improved if you have to insert an explanation in the middle of a passage. 



> Guilty as charged!  Though that's more due to my background writing plays (which are written in the present tense) more than anything else.  I try to make a conscious effort to have the narration of my stories written in the past tense, though.



XD I understand that. That's why I think people should read over their work or have it beta read to avoid these mistakes. 
Present tense writing isn't bad, I don't think. It just gets confusing when it's constantly switched in the same piece of writing. 



> You know what would make things interesting? If we could use two or three of this cliches, turn them around and have fun with it, and still end up with a good fic.  For example, OnokiXTemari, anyone?



Oh, totally. 
 Well OnoTema would certainly be _interesting_.


----------



## TheGreatOne (Jun 17, 2011)

I hate when Fics that are good are discontinued. And I hate OOCness


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## StoneCliff (Jun 22, 2011)

When the entire thing is like this:


Naruto: wow, I hate Script form!
Kakashi: Wait, isn't this how the guy who posted this Fanfic go?
Naruto: Oh, you mean A New-
Mod: Shush! No Ads!


----------



## Lady Gaga (inactive) (Jun 24, 2011)

UmWhatever said:


> l
> 
> *Spoiler*: _High School Fics_
> 
> ...


god bless you. me too.

there's a sasunaru i've seen in the naruto archive called In Excess , (i've only glanced at it) and I swear it has all the bad sterotypes you named. it has over a thousand reviews. but i learned the hard way that doesn't mean it's a story good.

Swear, that story creeps me out... 0_o


----------



## TekJounin (Jun 25, 2011)

I know that some of these are simple typos, transpositions or one letter too many or too little, but they change the author's intent.  Some are homonym errors, some are just WFT?


*Spoiler*: _Unintentionally funny or cringe-worthy lines from fanfics_ 





Sakura woke up at the gentle sound of footsteps echoing across the walls.

but long enough for him to remember in his mind.

for he swung his weapon over his head, aiming for her trembling corpse.

Itachi raised the sword and sliced his brother’s body in two.  Sakura creamed.

She was her own beckon of light and hope

he was serene, entirely at piece

laughing and joking like two loused children.

“When do you leave?” she asked him, sliding her hands underneath his cloak and wrapping his arms around him

Giving a sharp nod, Sasuke took off to into the tress, his senses highly alerted.

she took a small vile from her other pocket.

Posting after mindnight on Wednesday. 

Not that she minded not seeing Hidan’s foul moth 

She titled her head to one side thoughtfully.

The only chance he had left for winning in this situation was by doing something a little wreckless.

it hurts so much that she had difficulty breathing property in front of him.

"Looks like you're a ladies' man Sasuke." Said Suigetsu as a lady carrying a new bowel of ice cream walked up. 

Making tea to soothe her mind, Sakura decided to hum.

keeping on alert for any sighs of other movement 

She dressed swiftly in her new clothes, rather wet from the water. 

What a fitting way to die. Sasuke thought thoughtlessly

He tugged the mask off swiftly and roughly grabbed her shin, looking into her green eyes.

The cold water was relaxing against his heated flesh, distinguishing the fire embedded in his shoulder.

she could even see the tired lines in his face, and how swallow his cheeks became in the last few days.

encouraging healing and removing scare tissue.

I striped and stepped into the shower, 

before I could blink he had pined me to the wall,

He heard him smirk

My eyes opened of their own violation 

He sighed and his sweat breath overwhelmed me.

He was carrying her bridle style, she had her arms around his neck and her face berried into his chest.

When her sword came unsheathed she left behind her womanly fa?ade to unleash a cold metal furry, and that same fire reflected in her brownish black eyes.

It now clattered to the ruble covered ground

Sakura squeezed her eyes tightly together in a vain attempt to stench the flow of water running down her tear streaked cheeks. 

That she wasn't hoping for a chance to break some of that unflappable clam. 

He taped a finger on the desk.

Mikoto was all quiet observance and a clam, glittering intelligence.

Either way she was helpless and after the first few minutes she gave into their menstruations.

She had then turned in late for a reckless night of sleep.

“You never liked my cooking. Remember? You said I was the worst chief ever.”

Naruto returned Sakura’s sediment and buried his head in the crook of her neck 

There were faint stains dribbling down the front of his front.

Had he been a real client, either she or Tsunade would have strung him up by the tentacles by now.

having a gut feeling in his stomach. 

"What are you string at!" She snapped at them. 

It's the opocalips!

Two ninja were running at them, swords bared, ready to smell their blood. 

your goal will still be achomplished.

Sakura's cheery mood was instantly distinguished when Shikamaru asked her to come with him. 

Suddenly, two pairs of arms wound their way around him and a slim, feminine body pressed against him.

He explained, though he had the snaking suspicion

half the village became inflicted, about a third of them dying a few days later. 

They were steaks against the darkness, 

“Orochimaru was a cleaver bastard"

Giving up she sat down and picked up her sake bottle taking a swing

covered from head to toe in dirt and grim, 

Sakura pierced her lips raising her voice so Ino could hear her in the other room,

hands in his pockets and a brown bang under his arm. 

I also wanted some time to myself, so that I could have some time to myself

There was a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle before the little boy’s shoulders quacked. 

Sakura and Hinata shared a small suit while Temari went back to her own room.

I cursed profundities under my breath.

His muscles taught under the pale skin. 

Looking down I noticed my lack of clothing, in only over sized shirt and my under garments (which consisted of underwear and bra).

My lower lips quivered as I breathed heavily, gasping for air.

the two were given such a wide birth once they set out on the streets again. 

Her green eyes were alight with furry, demanding of him.

Sasuke is one of the last of a rare, and powerful species of demon, and hair to the demon realm

the upper half of her dress open down to the under wire of her brazier.

He turned his head to look at his superiors in time for them to see wicked grin adoring his face.

Then she slipped off her pants, throwing on her overly-large sleeping shit that skimmed her thighs

She began walking towards the stars, flipping absently through the files in her hands.

If he ever suspected a trap or fowl play, he was never under prepared.

when she woke on her own at midmorning, hot tea and toasted beard and eggs were waiting for her.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke shut his eyes, 

Her skin was damp, making her hair and nightgown stick to her forehead. 

At 30 he would be equal vent to a 60 year old.

a muscled bare male arm came to warp around her, pulling her close to his chest.

Men have such a hard time dealing with defat.

his eyes shadowed from the dark yellow lights in the kitchen.

“Anything you want to say? You are too quite.”

As Igarashi bit them goodnight, 

He was never god at the comforting thing.

his hand moved to unzip his shirt, revealing her breasts to him.

Sakura sat on the couch in only a towel and a bowel of grapes

Naruto was fast asleep, snoring like a log. 

But as a result, he was determined to male up his neglect of her somehow. 

He was a fraction of a section too late 

running hands and mouth over ridges and bumps and soft hard skin. 

they excited the hospital door 

She spoke, the group now entering the room which was filled with a good sized television, two coaches and two lonely chairs.

mocking Deidara with fowl language 

Or maybe they were shoving bamboo chutes under her nails. 

chuckling at some of the words coming from her word. 

Deidara groaned before being plowed down by a black blog. 

Itachi shifted his glazed from Deidara to Sakura. 

she'd protected a lot of important people in her shining rain as the Hokage's apprentice. 

It would take about a half an hour for them to cook fully, lest she catch some kind of river disease from cooking them impartially. 

Subconsciously Sakura added more wood to the ferocious fire. 

She took her respectful cards and shuffled them thoroughly, 

He grumbled repulsively. 

the long hair he left undone tickled the skin of her skin and neck. 

She shouldn't really be fussing over this but hell, her dignity was at steak!

Her tear covered emerald eyes met ivory orbs. "ITACHI-SAN!"


----------



## TekJounin (Jun 25, 2011)

*Spoiler*: _But wait!  There's more!_ 



Even the wide birth he gave her came off as nonchalant.

It will do no good putting him on trail for things he cant remember doing.

It's no secret (thanks to her boisterous antiques) that she likes him

The door to her room entered and someone suddenly picked her up.

Kisame sharpened his kunai, leaning lazily against the campfire. 

when Sasori was clam it meant someone was going to die.

a cool summer breeze blew by them, making their clocks to flap in its gentle touch.

one blond bangs that had blown to the other side of his face, revealing the metal contraption covering his right left eye.

as a man dressed in dark appears at the threshold.

though the visual confirmation only confirms what her other senses already know

one thing that had become apparent after she woke up from consciousness was the fact that she was no lady. 

The only one who looked to be enjoying himself was Fugaku- happy that one of his students had managed to defeat a young boy who - for some odd reason - used bugs to help her.

Sakura quickly brought her hand mouth to her mouth to stifle a laugh,

She had shrunk, but she and to have more of a?a figure.

Annoyed by her outburst, Sasuke abruptly placed his hands on his shoulders and glared at her.

Sakura could not help feeling very subconscious about herself 

Sakura was just glad that he was sensible enough to not mention this occurrence to Naruto, because he would have blown a casket, if he knew. 

Though her breathing was still raged, when he opened his eyes again and looked up at her face, she was clearly in a better state.

The routine was to walk around Konoha and scoop out who they thought had some looks.

She was lovely, but she had a tempter that her teammates had to control.

He shuttered that would be hell.

Yet if his Ani stayed the night where did he then sleep she only had a cough and her bed.

He never did any of those things with Sakura and or Naruto never would with Naruto god help him if Naruto wanted to.

the girl titled her head before getting slowly up 

Naruto blinked and just stared, she titled her head and asked "What?" 

And she titled her head, smiling a crooked little girl smile and left him standing there.

she ignored him, grinning, and titled her head sideways,

She titled her head, almost challenging the pink-haired girl across from her to do something

She titled her head and furrowed her brows, 

The girl titled her head in confusion 

Sakura taped her pencil against the desk while looking at the clock.

She starred down at him, 

Sakura tapped her glass of wine as she starred at the people 

she starred at the Raman. 

He starred at her,

He starred at the memory

Sakura shouted as another rouge ninja attacked him. 

The rouge ninja felt Naruto's body go limp.

I cant remember anything after when the rouge ninja came out.

Kakashi hissed and turned his gaze back on the rouge ninja.

Naruto spat with all his furry. 

The Kyuubi asked barely suppressing his furry and killing intent. 

Deidei-chan shudders in his furry fur thinking of Shino's bugs 

"Naruto you idiot, when I catch up to I'm going to KILL you!" Ino screamed in furry.

Naruto instantly regretted saying that as the fox roared out in furry. 

Naruto looked at Sasuke in furry and his eyes became that of the Kyuubi. 

The boy's face sweat with tears and a look of rage as he unexpectedly lunged towards the blonde with furry. 

I'll snap your neck like a frail twig" Kotone said in a cold tone reeking with furry.

Her tears streamed down her checks with furry. 

He was ready for the pin to end, even at such a high price.

Allow him to explain what happened between him and Hitana.

But she was to blind by furry to allow him to explain. 

Sakura was tiered of her life without him. 

They both so much emotion

The room was large with a dark color theme; navy green, midnight blues, and dark shades of purple. 

"How about you go great him, hm?" 

she let out a screech that filled the entire house, it even cracked Sasuke's window seat.

sasuke spoke with furry in his voice

The blond Gondaime couldn't get any happier, 

"Hai Sheishou" The gondaime let out a low sigh

Sitting up he sees Sakura being taken away by the ANBU leaving just the Gondaime Hokage, 

"He is the Minato's son for Kami's sake."

[_This is an actual author's note_] *Sorry for the long wait I was arrested and part of my sentencing was not to be allowed back on the internet until further notice *

"Yes, my son, I am your father, me, Minato Namikaze." The supposedly deceased blonde said.

massaging her left breasts at the same time.

Sasuke walk up from a very contented sleep, 

his coison seems to know something that he doesn't

One horrible night, Itachi was raped.  

My breathe caught as he leaned over to kiss me or will her? 

She had cried for weeks when she heard the knews. 

the road leading towards this church was made of fine roads, 

Five minutes pasted, until Sasuke finally spoke up again.

his chipmunk-like cheeks puffed out with a mouthful of the now-soggy cereal. The only noise was the rhythmic crunch from Sasuke's chewing.

It was a dark brown, with a grin tint. 

the death-mute unstable boy, 

he had looked up to his older brother as an idle, rather than his worst nemesis.

her hands breaking out in a cold sweat.

No lemon, but it's implided,

Anko was knocked into a comma during a mission 

he was a traitor, killed one of the village elders attacked the Gokages, 

but by no means was she considered by him to be a source of suduction.

Konoha had decided to have a mascaraed ball to welcome the new Hokage,

She grabbed her back and pulled a scroll out of it.

"Well if you had checked them you should've known i was supposed to be death too."

Shisui said as he attacked his pouch to his leg.

she also noticed a laundry tub and some mobs, she filled it with hot water and soup, 

She wondered why he kept kissing her as she dried herself off.

Itachi is eerily silent as he pulls himself out of the river and leaps onto the bride Naruto and Sakura are standing on. 

Sure, he was like her younger sister,

Naruto choked on his fifth cartoon of ramen.

Sitting on his hunches, Akamaru whined again and sniffed the air, 

A wide open area with no obstacles where they could freely bet each other to a pulp?

and snuck out the bathroom winder.

Tenten and Lee made cursive glances at each other,

Limply, the empty bottle clinked against the table

Sakura looked up from her book as the Uchiha hair sat down next to her on the bench.

Sakura rolled his eyes and Itachi almost sighed. 

An impregnated silence fell between them 

she bent her leg, flinched, and dislodged a kunai and shuriken from her right thigh and two other kunais and a ninja from her left.

she ruffled her youngest hair, 

He was right; climbing out of the pool stairs was harder than climbing up down.

"Sit, close your eyes, steady your breathing and clam your heart,"

His stomach shuddered in a curious curiosity.

I asked him as he was about to exit through the entrance.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jul 11, 2011)

I LOL'ed when I saw 'furry' instead of 'fury' OMG


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## Tomcat171 (Jul 11, 2011)

UmWhatever said:


> *Spoiler*: _High School Fics_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*Spoiler*: __ 



Damn, being in the middle of writing a HS fic myself, I naturally have the instinct to defend it. However, I can't deny with any amount of sanity or logic that you make some very good points. Far too often have I seen where the majority of the Konoha boys are the most sought after as if they're living Lynx commercials. Not to mention it's often chock-full of MS's and GS's.

I didn't write my own with the intention of subverting the most often occurring tropes, but I tried to put the characters in places that mirrored - on a minor scale - how they were interpreted in the actual Naruto story. 

Why mine might suck:
Sasuke has fangirls; this is because he's in the school indie band. However, I tried to turn him into a Sasuke that sort of mirrors that of the manga. The most recent chapter I posted of it had a section on how the Sauce hated this attention, and about how he hated that people didn't bother finding out about what he was really like.

Ino is that stereotypical girl all the guys want but have no chance of getting. Why? Because she faps over Sasuke. Sakura is exactly the same, except she's slightly less popular amongst the boys. Unfortunately, I'll admit that I didn't look too much at Ino's faults; however, she's loud, boisterous and has a lack of sympathy at the start. Ino and Sakura go to a club in the first chapter (pulled the 'fake ID' bollocks, I'm afraid to say), but they don't enjoy it for a specific reason.

Naruto's a prankster and kind of dim. I freely confess that I pulled the 'has no idea Hinata likes him' situation, and regardless of how I may explain it in the fic, it's still an affront to his character building.

I won't make a list as to why I think it's okay for the simple fact that I wrote it, so it's not up to me to decide due to obvious bias. Reviews have been quite positive, but I can attribute that to the fact that a lot of people who review have never tried writing a story before, and as such they will praise any sort of shite that's released.

To be honest, I don't know why I just wrote that response. I'm not trying to give my fic as a special case or promote it, but I suppose there were some things you mentioned that I tried to avoid. Oh, and best of all, I don't do txt spk...it's Queen's English all the way; grammar and everything.






UmWhatever said:


> - *Arranged marriages*. It was kind of interesting at first. But, wow, is it overdone. Especially with characters in clans of nobility (Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, Rukia from Bleach).


Indeed. As a matter of fact, whenever I look for NaruMei fics, the arranged marriage is the excuse I see in at least 70% of all present NM published works. That's why I'm preparing to write one without it, to show that technicality and legal obligation don't have to drive a plot.


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## homo sapiens narutardis (Jul 27, 2011)

I like a good NextGen fic every now and then, but does the leading offspring (usually Naruto's or Sasuke's) almost always have to be a girl? And it's not the good kind of girl either, it's the retarded kind that is an insult to anyone born without a Y-chromosome.

And God, the Mary-Sues, how I loathe them. Moreso the self inserts. They're just eldritch.

I once read a story on FF.net by some guy called kingkakashi that would probably be chockful of all of this thread's peeves put together. It's entitled _Naruto vs Sasuke: The Aftermath_, and it contains...


Character bashing
Extremely OOC characters (i.e. Hinata going apeshit at Sakura due to a few angry words)
Flanderization
An overblown attempt to recreate the story in a darker and edgier manner
Abuse of Japanese words in place of English (i.e. "That's all you need to know, sochi," Shikaku said to Shikamaru. Note: "Sochi" is the Japanese word for "son")
Murdering the hypotenuse

The story originally had potential, but after seeing the aforementioned in it... 

*shivers*


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## Abanikochan (Jul 30, 2011)

TekJounin said:


> *Spoiler*: _But wait!  There's more!_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What's with all the "furry" and "clam?" 

"and snuck out the bathroom *winder*." 

Omg, that reminds me of a high school reality show I saw a while ago. A kid was asked to spell window in which he answered "w-i-n-d-e-r." 

Back on topic...that was an awesome post. Needed a good laugh today.


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## TekJounin (Jul 30, 2011)

*Spoiler*: _More Interesting Stuff_ 





she reclined into a feeble position

Her head snuggled in his cheast like a chick

He was the one that stood behind her, threw all the tragedy

He took the bundle that was his arms

kissing her in her mouth and sticking his tongues and playing with her toughs. 

he tried to hide his hard one

Just a spar of the moment. 

She couldn?t bare the pain

That was the hardest thing she ever hand to do

the hallow threats

She shrank back when he spun around and unleashed his raging furry on her.

He silently entered her bedroom and peaked at her sleeping form.

she was currently raising the bottom hem of the man?s white hospital shirt up, exposing his taught stomach.

Her petite hands were still on his chest, rubbing against his abs

clothes off, she was completely bear.

Her breasts weren?t overly large, but she could hold her own.

staring up through the canap? of the forest.

He looked at her with an indigenous expression

However, it was not as if she were gardening for his attention.

That smile, he was infectious.

The pain sent him hurdling to the ground. 

knowing of her tradition of a wine of glass

She kissed him back and wrapped her lips around his neck

as if he was uncertain what my motifs were. 

I am just tooling with her emotions.

and I had to reframe myself 

I got out a piece of scrape paper and a pen.

He had heard roomers 

she could have sword she was being followed

She hide her kantana

she was attacked by two rouge ninja

she will have something very special planed for tonight

He was the only one who would be aloud to touch her

she could see his mussels through his white cotton dress shirt

she remember havening to bandage his chest

Part of him hopped that she wouldn?t wake

she looked up, barley conscious

The tears flooded over and he kissed everyone away.

had completely failed to notice the faint sheen of sweet on the back of her neck,

That she wasn't hoping for a chance to break some of that unflappable clam.

He taped a finger on the desk.

The dinning room table 

unless they were blind, deaf, and dumb. He was neither.

he coaxed her into the kiss before scrapping his teeth

?You know, for someone who hates hospitals, you?re a frequent costumer.? 

Her eyes closed briefly as she opened them

Just stone cold with the heir of sadness hanging around him like a dark cloud.

Melancholy orbs of green stretched out over the lone figure

rises from her slumbering sleep.

Looking at the time she got off the window

started too nimble on her ear.

She said as she nibbled on her plate.

The wind expressed a late autumn. 

She cannot perceive the weird feeling but somehow its feels very proverbial.

He might not be the most observant person to ever graze the face of this planet

closed her eyes and smore the world spun.

He picked up a blossom and clenched it in his eyes. 

His eyes drank in the site of her

only a few scratches and brushes remained

kissed his fourhead.

the bet?s income right there

The first thing was first.

Slunking against his bleeding arm she held onto it for support.

He finished packing his bag as an inpatient Sakura waited for him. 

She had simply hoped into bed.

The sunset?s starting somewhere in the east.

In a hidden department in her sandals was some clear wire.

The living room, which was connected to the medium sized kitchen, had a large soft.

Needles to say,

She took deep breathes trying to call herself down. 

the scolding hot water.

She opened her eyes back up to hear the green tea. 

I had a red backround, with light pink cherry blossom pedals flowing around on it

So, one thin led to another.

with cherry blossoms peddles on it

He said, losing his patients.

She landed on her face flat, with a nice 'oof' to go with the fall.  She got up and wiped the dirt of her bottom.

Sakura rushed inside of their hotel widow.

A big clap of lightning 

She paused so the laughter could seize.

The way she looked at him made his knees go week.

She sat with the delicacy of a flower.

And besides...he is GEORGOUS!! 

After an awkward moment he regained his composer 

After her thirst was slated 

She had fervishly tended to both men all day and night.

She sighed and ran her fingers through her mused hair.

Gently she took the newborn in her eyes and held it close to her.

His hand shot out to graph her wrist in a steely hold,

who scarified his life for the sake of this village.

as the air cackled around them mincingly

And wither it?s true or not 

finish dusting, starting moping, pull the weeds from the courtyard 

before she knew it she wasn?t looking at the flower?s anymore but a clam darkness

Whoever had the gull to trespass was dead.

I?m sure you?re wandering what happened

Caressing her face, whipping away the tears

It never really accrued to her

Most defiantly it said something.

he growled his next words against the bare skin of her taunt stomach.

They kissed each others for a long time.

she knew she had to get him warm so that he wouldn?t catch hypothermia. 

She crawled into her bead, soft and clad in forest green sheets and a dark red comforter. 

It was well passed mig-night,

?Are you going to kill me?? she finally managed to say after several minuets. 

... PREGNAT?

The woman scoffed, not too pleased by people ordering her around. He clicked her tongue, sighed then spoke.

"Yes you did you liar!" She playfully swapped his arm.

? How got I myself into this again??

He had jumped back and charged back at me, I was shocked when he appeared behind me when he was right in front of me. 

like his thoughts were lurking elsewhere just on the periferee.

Her fears were currently in vein.

he had just deposited enough money to keep the inn well maintained for a year into her coiffeur.

the irritatingly monotonous dripping of a lead pipe.

She needed to handle this situation before it escalades.

more important then her own well fair

Well, this outfit was defiantly going to the trash.

she didn?t care if they mutated her body after she died,

he sighed with irritation, but was greatful

She had just heard something within the refines of the forest!

She heard footsteps clash with a faint echo of footsteps.





*Spoiler*: _Officially the Worst Lemon I Have Ever Read or Someone Needs a Biology Book - Stat_ 





Finally he slipped one, then two, and finally his whole hand into her pussy and worked his arm up and down, making her reach her peak. Unable to hold back anymore with her pulsating around his hand, he turned her around so that her tight ass was facing him, and pulled out his hand, only long enough to slip in his hard cock. But as he entered her, he felt something resist him and then break. She cried out unexpectedly, and he could tell it was from pain. A little bit of blood fell between them. Shock was etched on his features ?You?re? you?re a virgin??


----------



## TekJounin (Jul 30, 2011)

*Spoiler*: _Last one for tonight_ 





Her dream would soon be becoming soon. 

He also confronts her in her time of need.

She was wearing pink top that showed her belly bottom

Yes, the Uchiha mastoid will be?well?a happy place now.

their team met some rouge ninjas

She had blonde hair and purple eyes to match.

Gaara simply rested his head on his head

Eyes widened from his reviled face 

grabbing her Kunai ouch and strapping it on

The thought was nerve-cracking

It was then about 11 PM around midnight

She looked at him for a moment then threw her head and laughed.

I giggle noon stop

they were god friends

Naruto whispered as he excited the room and the place where he currently was in.

WOAH! CLAM DOWN! 

I said with a shutter.

The room itself was quite spacious, yes small. 

Gaara ran a hand through his hand 

Sakura looked at his barley breathing form.

Summary: Sakura's dead.  WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH!

The coming moth shall bring winds of change in to your life. 

?I?m just going to leave,? she said, as she left.

with his face facing hers.

?You were busy,? Sakura sneered. ?Besides you were busy." 

?And why does it should be that long??

She looked to the clock on the wall, six o' seven.

I don?t why, we just were. 

That was her kew and she took a running leap,

he could smell some sort of fruity shampoo, and his lids slid clothes as he breathed her in.

His eyebrows were crossed, 

She squirmed and withered beneath him;

his hands grouping her breasts

Usually, he was stoic and clam. 

Almost every inch of her hurt from exhaust,

?Naruto isn?t here Sakura,? a horsy voice told me.  She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw the voice. 

Sakura stared at the only primary source she had of her team before the uneatable happened. 

Sasuke pressed his lips against his forehead and nods his head.

you guys need to be supper prepared

"I don't care as long as we get our little sweatheart to come and treat us i'll be just fine"

He felt her muscles clench under his fingers and kissed her check

she screamed and lounged at Sakura. 

wounds had healed into tin scars.

his now silent partner who was looking at him like they were sharing a privet joke.

Her advice fell on death ears

She might as well be a sitting dark for robbers and the such.

Just what the hell was he trying to proof?

Sakura's eyes beats faster

If her haunch was correct

She looked out into the darkly lit hall.

She felt hatred at Itachi for what he had done to Itachi that stopped all thoughts of the cold Itachi. 

she felt his grip shit and hold her hands behind her back. 

Over the last three years Naruto had traveled around with Jiraiya for two years.

the locket hanging right above her shirt hem line above her chest.

Sakura spoke wrapping two of her hands on the right hand of Itachi

just walked out the bar staggering and stubberling 

Hail bounced off of the hardened concrete, striking everything in sight. Denting windows and breaking ground.

it letterly hurted

Tinny fingers wrapped around a slender finger

When you meat people

I?m loyally screwed.

Standing in the chilly Ocotober weather

"But," Sakura interjected someone vehemently

And she disliked feeling venerable

Naruto was on his way to go get some time to eat

As she started to close his eyes he moved over to her side of the bed again.

He sighed contemptly.

Her eyes trailed down his stomach until they reached a pair of white leaned towards her ear.

?Eh, where the fuck?s all my candy?? Hidan asked quietly, pushing a couple of cans of bear out of his way.

after the first three games he was pertinently banned from ever playing again.

He said with one of his cat lie grins.

I?m not going to dye; I just need to rest for a bit.

right before I heard a load explosion above us

Light permeated the room, and the morning was so bright it blinded him. It was an overcast day

She began walking towards the stars

the pair of navy-black pants

Like shooting two birds with one stone.

Green eyes trailed along his figure, and inhaled his ever-present cloak

"Hello,"Sakura spoke mutely.

Their faces close and their breast mingling together

Sakura? slaughter was beautiful and contagious

he barried his head in her head.

Sakura swapped his arm.

Sakura opened her yes.

he could hear the sounds of a fire roasting.

A self-depreciating smile graced her lips at the thought.

It was your decision to leave him, so, there?s no point in mopping about it is there?

he appears to have 3 broken ribs and a fractured lung

As soon as it hit five AM in Sasuke?s watch, the group woke up.  It was only four which meant it was a little bit dark,

She stripped all of her dirty clothes and steeped on to the hot water

a few of her cleavage were exposed.

seeing his lapse in warriness

Hana eyed her surroundings as they descended up the dark steps

The village was incomplete disarray.

He narrowed her eyes and then walked a little faster. 

Then without a word, he turned and passed under the threshold. 

Deidara watched as Sakura?s hand began to crackle and snap with glue fire and lightning.

Her breasts were moderately sized, but not as large as her bosses.

His throat caught in his throat

had nearly achieved his twisted goal of raising her cherished village to the ground.

before departing for the never world?

Sasuke had died while extracting revenge on his brother

once again noting the gentle sway of the trees and the sound of tricking water.

She continued to watch him as she watched him finish tying the wrap around her. 

She relieved herself on her bed, noticing that Sasuke just stood at the side of her bed with his arms crossed. 

"Heh heh, of course not, Hockage-sama, of course not."

His body scram strong,

Oh I could feel his muscles, his well defined abs, and toed biceps 

"I'm an alley, Uchiha-san. Not an opponent."

the slow arithmetic sucking on the bottom of her lip

his masculine scent of dry rain and fresh spring, 

walking to the office door, and clutching the drown knob 

his raven hair still tied loosely in a firm ponytail,

His bold declaration, made Sakura's open fall slightly open as she stared speechless at her lover.

She faltered, leaning her small head against the jaw of his shoulder, easing the tension of face.

Whilst he gave her, the artistic menstruations of affection. 

shattering the earth beneath her clenched fist into a gaping maw of cracked stone and smoking rumble, her entire body taunt.

Said person rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the hair.

"You wont get away, bitch!" she screamed and lounged at Sakura. 

and be her night in shining armor 

Itachi rushed out, with only a towel around his waste 

I would appreciate it if you kept your greasy noes out of my buissness.

Her petty arm was grabbed before it met her intruder's face,


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## Abanikochan (Jul 31, 2011)

TekJounin said:


> *Spoiler*: _More Interesting Stuff_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think the writer is most likely a virgin...or failed sex ed.

More with the "furry" and "clam?" How many fics are these originating from? Thanks for more amusing reads.


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## dream (Jul 31, 2011)

Bashing of any kind annoys me more so than anything else.  I can understand people not liking a character but instead of bashing him or her they could always make said character's role really small.

I also dislike it when people have Naruto be angry at Sasuke for using the Sharingan to "steal" other people's techniques.  Personally while I might be a bit angry, for a short time, at an Uchiha for copying a jutsu I worked hard to learn I would be able to understand that he jutsu might eventually save that Uchiha's life in the future.


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## TekJounin (Jul 31, 2011)

Abanikochan said:


> I think the writer is most likely a virgin...or failed sex ed.
> 
> More with the "furry" and "clam?" How many fics are these originating from? Thanks for more amusing reads.



I've read oodles of fanfics, so I'm not sure how many or which ones the lines came from.  I just keep Notepad open while I read & do a copy/paste when I find something.  You could probably do a search on the phrase and find the story.

I always wonder why people make a point to be precise in their writing and contradict themselves at the same time.  Is it 5am or 4am?  Did Naruto travel 3 years or 2?  Is Karin following Suigetsu or in front of him?  Are they dancing a minuet or fighting?  Or fighting to music you could dance a minuet to?  Did the character go through the doorway or underground when they went "under the threshold?"  Do some of the words or phrases mean something in another language than what I'm expecting?  

I'll give big props to a writer whose first language isn't English but translator websites don't do such a great job with sentence structure and intent.  A good beta reader can make your story shine.

Things like "Sakura blinked with her eyes" make me wonder if it's just word count padding or is it possible to blink with another body part?  And are people eating food from an intestine, because that's what a bowel is?

Or wrapping anything around their "waste."  When a character wraps a towel or an arm around waste, I always imagine a pile of crap, which really changes the nature of the story for me and not in a good way.  Itachi exiting the bathroom with a towel loosely wrapped around his waste is more "ew" than "yum" and wrapping his arm around Sakura's waste, well, I'd just rather not think of a bishie like him having a scat hangup.  



Eternal Fail said:


> Bashing of any kind annoys me more so than anything else.  I can understand people not liking a character but instead of bashing him or her they could always make said character's role really small.
> 
> I also dislike it when people have Naruto be angry at Sasuke for using the Sharingan to "steal" other people's techniques.  Personally while I might be a bit angry, for a short time, at an Uchiha for copying a jutsu I worked hard to learn I would be able to understand that he jutsu might eventually save that Uchiha's life in the future.



I'm not a fan of bashing, either.  As you said, make the character's part small or leave them out altogether.  But haters gonna hate, so we'll still have otherwise inoffensive characters getting lambasted for a writer's prejudice.

Naruto and Sasuke have a rivalry but Naruto usually gets angry at injustice or threats to his precious people.  I don't recall him ever getting angry about someone else's techniques.  It seems to me that he's glad when Sasuke advances, because he uses Sasuke as a means to measure his own advancement.  Also, merely copying a technique doesn't mean Sasuke can perform it.  Some jutsu require precise control, vast chakra reserves or a bloodline limit.

One of my biggest peeves are incomplete stories.  I understand that authors have real lives and that things come up or they suddenly lose interest in the series.  Some authors are kind enough to put a "discontinued" note in the summary but many don't.  

Which brings up another rant: mark your stories "Complete" when you've finished them, people!  I've taken to skipping any story that isn't marked complete and I'm sure I've missed out on some great stories because of it.  FF.net has an awkward little "Complete" button to mark stories.  It's not especially easy to find but you'll get more readers like me if you take the time to find it and click.  It's intensely frustrating to find a story that is well-written, sucks you in, builds to the whole purpose of the plot and then just...quits.


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## Kakashifan727 (Aug 6, 2011)

Yeah, or if they just stop writing without at least putting something in their profile. I've been busy so I haven't had time to write, but I at least put something in my profile to let ppl know I'm still working on it.


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## Sedaiv (Aug 26, 2011)

EPIC F***ING THREAD BUMP. This needs to be stickied.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Oct 18, 2011)

I hate incomplete/abandoned stories, too.  However, I as someone who's guilty of the above, I can say that it's usually because the author is out of inspiration or too busy IRL or both.  At least that's the reason why I don't update.  After I realized that I had issues with that, I stopped writing things that have the potential to evolve beyond one-shots and stuck to reading.


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 18, 2011)

Same, haven't been able to update in ages cause of college. Sumbitches give too much HW nd its midterm time.


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## Dejablue (Oct 18, 2011)

I hate having a lot of time to work on a fanfic but having so much writers block you can't make any use of the free time.


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## Kelci (Oct 23, 2011)

Dejablue said:


> I hate having a lot of time to work on a fanfic but having so much writers block you can't make any use of the free time.



Yes, yes, YES! God I _hate_ that! 

I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi so I find it _extremely_ difficult to find a well-written story with a good plot. And when I do find one, the last update was usually a year or two ago. Makes me cry. 

I hate OOC too. It's like...gah. Stories where Sasuke is all fluffy happy and social makes me want to stab someone.


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## droidsteel (Oct 25, 2011)

Conquest said:


> *Spoiler*: _More Interesting Stuff_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You just made my day


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## Tomcat171 (Oct 25, 2011)

Lawl:

"The two were at a very expensive restraint." - Read: 'Restaurant'.

""He's marring her." He said." - Read: 'Marrying'.


That aside, I have one major peeve: Author's who forget the tense throughout a scene. Sometimes I've seen it occur in the same damn sentence. For example (just something I've thought of, not quoted from a current fic), "With eyebrows raised in obvious curiosity, he walks to the front door, the soles of his shoes rattling the floorboards as he goes. His hand slowly extended forward and, in a somewhat over-cautious manner, reached for the brass handle until his fingers finally achieved a tight purchase."

It's either past, present or future tense, nothing in between, make your mind up.


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## Primavera (Oct 25, 2011)

Where do I begin?

1) OOC. If you're going to make them act completely different, you might as well just create your own characters to play the parts rather than killing what makes the characters themselves. This is only forgivable in crack or in AU settings, to an extent.
2) Canon/OC pairings. I especially don't like when the character is a Mary-Sue and/or involved in a love triangle.
3) Grammatically incorrect and poorly-written stories.
4) Self-inserts. If I don't want to read about their OCs being all Mary-Sue-like, I certainly don't want to read about THEM being like that.
5) Akatsuki turning into kittens. Seriously, what?
6) OCs being sucked into the Naruto-verse. Again, what?
7) Reviews telling the author what to do in his/her fic or asking for certain pairings. Let the author do their work, please.
8) Reviews complaining about the pairing(s) chosen. Seriously, if you don't like it, don't read it.

Those are all I can think of at the top of my head. I also have pairing pet peeves, but I won't list them since they don't seem relevant to the question.


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 25, 2011)

Anything turning into furries is a no-no but if it's a crossover where it makes sense at least somewhat, thenit's semi-alright. (I just hate furries/dog fic /cat fic. Seen many pairings fics where X-gets turned into a baby-dog- kitten whatever. :Argh


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## Tomcat171 (Oct 25, 2011)

Primavera said:


> 7) Reviews telling the author what to do in his/her fic or asking for certain pairings. Let the author do their work, please.
> 8) Reviews complaining about the pairing(s) chosen. Seriously, if you don't like it, don't read it.


And you basically described the feedback for my NS fic 

The fact the first chapter has an incredibly heated argument had everybody saying 'owe meye gawd she's a bitch u shood put him wiv Hinartar'.

At least that was when I released it the first time around. After I edited it and started again, as well as added an author's note stating that I am fixed in the pairing and where the fic goes, people are now reviewing the fic and not the pairing.

Thank God for that


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## Kryptic (Oct 25, 2011)

Ooh I can totally add to this thread 

1. Whenever I'm reading a fic, grammar. Now, I'm going to be completely honest and say that I suck at grammar myself. However, there's something called a period and a comma, two things that can make your writing sound _so_ much better.  Pluzz if u write liek dis. Orlikethis.

2. OOC-ness- There are probably only a few stories that I'll allow for this to slip away (most of them have Sasuke in it- face it, most of us find it easier writing him when he's still in Konoha and not completely bat-shit. Well... it depends on the story too). I guess I shouldn't mind since it's only fiction, but still. If you make Hinata some man-hating body builder, then that'd just... not really fit right.

3. ^ With that said- Seme/Uke relationships. I guess I'll mention, since the bulk of the fics I read are SN, or ItaSas, or something. Anyways, in my middle school fangirl years, I didn't mind seeing a hot seme and his cute uke; however, later on in the manga, when I saw Naruto acting less "uke-ish", it drove me mad whenever I read those kinds of fics. Normal gay relationships aren't like that...

4. Harems/Man-whoring/Whoring in general. I read some of them just for the lulz, but it's still not really my thing.  Except Chasing Naruto since that was one of my favorite fics EVER.

5. Lemons and smut galore. I don't mind either of them (), but there's a limit to how much I can take in a story. I need plot, character, and relationship development, plox.

6. Bashing of another character to the point where I want to smack the author- again, lulzy at times, but yeah. There's a limit to how much I can handle.

7. Ooey-gooey-happiness, and absolutely no angst  Oh and villains/conflict please.


Man this was so tl;dr, it's not even funny..


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## withering blossoms (Oct 28, 2011)

1. Romance. I don't know why, but pretty much all of the Naruto pairing fics (long ones, mind you) have been awful, with the exception of _Man of Dreams._ (and hell, that was onesided.)

2. When there is no plot. 

3. Akatsuki portrayed as loveable and not at all sadistic.

4. Itachixanyone. This guy is about as likely to get with anyone as Part II Sasuke, really.

5. OOCness. Especially when it's Sasuke and they make him a cold jerk with no hint of emotional demons.


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## Kankurette (Nov 2, 2011)

Nice!Akatsuki is only OK if it's crackfic, and even then crackfic isn't always done well.

And yeah, I HATE it when people leave a review telling you what pairings to write. I'm a NaruSaku fan, but I wouldn't dream of going into a NaruHina fan's fic and going "omg hdu not write NarSak u heathen". If you don't want to read fic for pairings you hate, just ignore it.


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## Whirlpool (Nov 5, 2011)

When the author bashes characters and are cheered on by the reviewers, you know, stiff like "OMG!!!! DAT BITCH SAKURA DESERVVED DAT TREETMENT! LOLLOL NARUHINA 4EVERR!!!!!!!!!! CONTINUE PLZZZ"



Also when there are lemons when Naruto is like...ten or twelve. I don't mind it when he's like fifteen or sixteen Cuz i lost my virginity then

OOC, grammer mistakes, gary stus, mary-sues, self inserts you know that sort

When Sakura can kick Narutos ass or when Sakura joins akatsuki and when Akatsuki is nice and not at all evil. i hate harems where Naruto is twelve and kurenai and anko are in it. In fact i hate harems all together.

If you want a really good author, go to grey goose 74. he's just a genius all together, he actually wrote a believable harem and i*c*st story. He's awesome. (Read his rant on his page too)

Overdoing the stupid things were Shikamaru says 'Troublesome' in every sentance, or Sasuke replies to anything with 'hn' or Naruto constantly yelling and screaming about 'Sakura-chan and ramen' I mean, i know your trying to keep them in character but FFS!


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## Whirlpool (Nov 5, 2011)

Primavera said:


> Where do I begin?
> 
> 1) OOC. If you're going to make them act completely different, you might as well just create your own characters to play the parts rather than killing what makes the characters themselves. This is only forgivable in crack or in AU settings, to an extent.
> 2) Canon/OC pairings. I especially don't like when the character is a Mary-Sue and/or involved in a love triangle.
> ...



Owatdafuck?


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## Tomcat171 (Nov 5, 2011)

Whirlpool said:


> If you want a really good author, go to grey goose 74. he's just a genius all together, he actually wrote a believable harem and i*c*st story. He's awesome. (Read his rant on his page too)


GG74's stuff is alright...his plots and stories are nice and original, but his written presentation is what puts me off.


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## Whirlpool (Nov 5, 2011)

Tomcat171 said:


> GG74's stuff is alright...his plots and stories are nice and original, but his written presentation is what puts me off.



agreed, wish he'd update though


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## FoxxyKat (Nov 16, 2011)

Smut, bad grammar, and het Naruto fics suck ass.


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## Fighting Kitsune (Nov 16, 2011)

Bad spelling and grammar, OOCness galore, abundant author's notes throughout the whole damn chapter, cultural inaccuracies (ie. making the characters pay for things with U.S. dollars, but the setting of the story is in Japan), misspelling or not using capitalization of the characters' nicknames and epithets, and self-inserts.


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## FoxxyKat (Nov 18, 2011)

Fighting Kitsune said:


> Bad spelling and grammar, OOCness galore, abundant author's notes throughout the whole damn chapter, cultural inaccuracies (ie. making the characters pay for things with U.S. dollars, but the setting of the story is in Japan), misspelling or not using capitalization of the characters' nicknames and epithets, and *self-inserts*.


Omg, how could I forget about self-inserts? I can't stand those!


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## BellatrixLestrange (Nov 18, 2011)

I had a laugh at the exerpts from that "lemon" that was posted earlier in this thread.  Itachi+some random OC girl?  seriously?  lol

People have mentioned that reviewers who complain about pairings are annoying.  I agree.  However, I think that one thing that the author can do is list all of the main pairings at the very beginning or the fanfic or in the title.  That kind of information helps me decide what I want to read as a reader.

Self-inserts are annoying.

As for OC's, I'll take them on a case by case basis.  Some are done well, others are not.  I'm not willing to judge the group as a whole.  I would go as far as to say that if you want to write a Naruto fanfic that centers around one of the other villages, you'll almost certainly need to create some good OC's for the story.


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## Whirlpool (Nov 18, 2011)

FoxxyKat said:


> Smut, bad grammar, and het Naruto fics suck ass.



Then what fics are left? I haven't seen a good yaoi story ever

EDIT: Nevermind, forgot about this one NaruGaa fic where it didnt focus on pairing. I didnt notice it was yaoi until they kissed. Time-travel fic called Butterfly effect or something


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## Ailuro (Nov 18, 2011)

Apart from most of the above the type of Naruto fanfiction I hate the most in lack of originality. FF.Net has around 200k amount of Naruto fiction and we have to stoll through tons of stories just to find something different.

I also have an issue with the "one rule for one charater and an entirely different rule for another character" thing most people seem to have. The rule? It can be from having, say, a story where Hinata is allowed to be host of Kyubi in an AU fic and no one objects. Then not allowing Ino to be host of Kyubi. Overpowerful Shikamaru, but no overpowerful Kiba. Or it could just simply be allowing certain crack pairings. Reviewers will actually try to argue with the author.




> However, I think that one thing that the author can do is list all of the main pairings at the very beginning or the fanfic or in the title. That kind of information helps me decide what I want to read as a reader.



That reminds me. Depending on the type of story I'm writing/reading there are times where I don't want to list the pairing at the start. That time would be a story where it is a love triangle and the girl has to decide between two boys. That's a pet peeve of mine. Having to tell people which boy will "win" in the end otherwise the reviewers threaten to leave. That defeats the point of the story.


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## Eriko (Nov 18, 2011)

Aside from the general ones like OOC-ness, spelling/grammer mistakes, i*c*st, yaoi/yuri when the characters are canonically straight...

I really hate seeing attempts to use Japanese phrases that don't fit and/or are completely ungrammatical. If you're going to write a fanfic in English, it's most natural sounding to just write the whole thing in English, other than say, jutsu names or things like that. I'll tolerate an occasional word of Japanese here and there, but it really, really bugs me when there's a whole sentence of "Japanese" that makes no sense. I've seen things like "anata desu hayai" and "watashi ai natsu." That's completely ungrammatical. 

日本語を正しく使わなかったら、日本語を使わないでね。(If you're not going to use Japanese correctly, don't use it at all.)


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## BellatrixLestrange (Nov 19, 2011)

I think the way to properly list love triangles without giving away the ending is something like:

NaruSasuSaku


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## DatLaydeeKaze (Nov 19, 2011)

- Next-Level OOC. I can cope with slight OOC, but when it's Hinata running around with a personality like Keith Lemon :I FFF-
- People who can't Spell-check, or repetitively spell something wrong.
- Uchihacest


Yep. :I Oh, and Summaries that're misleading.


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## Convicted playa (Nov 19, 2011)

lack of common sense


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## Whirlpool (Nov 20, 2011)

Shinobi Nikki said:


> - Next-Level OOC. I can cope with slight OOC, but when *it's Hinata running around with a personality like Keith Lemon* :I FFF-
> - People who can't Spell-check, or repetitively spell something wrong.
> - Uchihacest
> 
> ...



Hinata: Naruto, your bang-tidy!

Same here. To me, nothigns cuter than a NaruHina when they're both IC, but when it's this

Naruto: Hello Hinata-chan (He never calls her this )

Hinata:Na-Nar-Nar

Naruto: I love you too!


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## yellow as the son (Nov 29, 2011)

I'm an extremely picky reader, so basically everything.  Even in some of my favorite fics, there are elements that I don't like, but tolerate because it's well written.  However, there are some that I will literally immediately stop reading the fic if I see.  

-Terrible grammar.  I can not read a fic with terrible grammar, it makes me feel stupid.  
-Harem fics.  Naruto is not going to end up with Hinata, Ino, and Sakura (or any combination of females in the story).  And the Clan Restoration Act is not a viable excuse for why Naruto gets all the girls.  
-God-like Naruto.  Can't stand it.  It simply doesn't make for a good read.  
-Lack of creativity, dull, or overused plots.  I've scrolled through thousands of fics just to find something original.  
-Any fic where Naruto obtains the Rinnegan.  Every single one I've attempted to read hasn't been up to my standards.  These fics usually go hand in hand with Harem and god like Naruto fics.
-Anytime where Naruto and Sasuke's personalities are laid on extremely thick.  Naruto obsesses over ramen and Sasuke says Hn all the time.  They're boring.  
-Evil Naruto.  Most of the time he's way too evil.  I can take a slightly dark or cynical Naruto, but sometimes it's just too much.  
-fics that make no sense in general.  Don't force something if it doesn't fit.  
-Lemons and such.  I can take it in small doses, but if it happens every chapter, I'm going to stop reading.  
-Fanfics that Hinata literally stutters ever single word.
-Bashing fics.  Most commonly Sakura and Sasuke.  Most of the time the author makes them out to have no redeeming qualities and basically all they do is try to take Naruto down it seems.  
-Nice Akatsuki.  They're not nice.
-Authors that write out handseals constantly.
-Itachi or Sasuke getting with OC's.  

That's just off the top of my head, I'm sure there's more.


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## Swagger Wagon (Nov 29, 2011)

General OOC-ness. Kinda broad but that really irks me. I can't read a fic if the characters aren't even written with a personality that resembles canon.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, when they're Flanderized and they're written so that one trait dominates their character.

I can't read most pairing/smut fics for these reasons.


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## Goji1954 (Dec 6, 2011)

OOC without an explanation.

Rape scenes, I understand it as a plot device but you don't have to write the actual act, most of the time it's done only for shock value by an author who thinks of themselves as dark and edgy.

Self inserts or mary-sues. These are always made of supreme suck, and done by someone who obssesses over a certain character and or characters.

different languages and real life countries in the series (someone already touched on this). only one Author has ever managed to pull it off. If you like darker Naruto fics read Black Flames Dance in the Wind: Rise of Naruto

(again already touched on) Harry Potter cross-overs. I like Naruto, I like Harry Potter. DON'T MIX THE TWO!

Character bashing. I used to really like this, but now I can only tolerate up to a certain point. How about instead of ripping someone constantly you put some effort into your story and make a decent character out of them.

Long delays between chapters, even though I am a huge offender of this.


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 6, 2011)

I hate it whenever they have adults pushing a relationship together. This is mostly found in NaruHina fics, several characters saying, "I can see that they will be soulmates." Nothing against the pairing itself but it has the most ridiculous fics.

I came across a fic with an interesting summary. Read the first chapter until making it to the end to see the third hokage saying that 10 year old Naruto and Hinata should be together, I shit you not. 

If you do a NaruHina fic, please don't start the freaking relationship in the first chapter


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 8, 2011)

Seriuosly? Link it, i dare you. over pm of course. I've come over some bad fics too, but sadly these are the ones with like 1000 reviews. I'm reading it and am thinking 'how the fuck is this so popular it sucks *random comaprison* '

Wait i remember one that had NaruHina have a sleepover and they both slept in the same bed and they were like six-eight yers old. it was bad.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 8, 2011)

Let's not forget the NaruHina fics where Jiraiya of all people tries to push them together 

Jiraiya: why do you like her, she only hurts you constantly (JiraTsu)

Naruto: Yeah, i only like her cuz shes popular and i want to be famous. I'll go out with iHinata-chan

Hinata: 

or this 

Naruto: I don't love sakura, shes like a siSter (out of the blue, if its when their like 21 or 19 then yeah, but when its current naruto, its OOC)


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## Tomcat171 (Dec 8, 2011)

Itachifan727 said:


> I've come over some bad fics too, but sadly these are the ones with like 1000 reviews. I'm reading it and am thinking 'how the fuck is this so popular it sucks


That's because a lot of fanfic readers only read stuff that automatically agrees with their own opinions, they seldom take into account things like grammar and progression, nor are they willing to accept situations that jeopardise the pairing (even though the author plans to rectify it later). As long as it mindlessly supports their pairing, they're happy.

The same argument could be shot straight back at me, but I've had no qualms in the past about negatively reviewing NaruIno fics and downright stating that they're awful. Grammar, structure and progression actually mean something to me.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 8, 2011)

Tomcat171 said:


> That's because a lot of fanfic readers only read stuff that automatically agrees with their own opinions, they seldom take into account things like grammar and progression, nor are they willing to accept situations that jeopardise the pairing (even though the author plans to rectify it later). As long as it mindlessly supports their pairing, they're happy.
> 
> The same argument could be shot straight back at me, but I've had no qualms in the past about negatively reviewing NaruIno fics and downright stating that they're awful. Grammar, structure and progression actually mean something to me.



At least they are fixed with smexy lemons


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## Tomcat171 (Dec 8, 2011)

Whirlpool said:


> At least they are fixed with smexy lemons


Okay...so maybe that kind of applies to one my fics right now 

But I do plan on explaining how it happened with proper development! Honest! 

However, not even a lot of lemons are written properly. They're either too quick, both in their chronological appearance and their display time.  And, if the rest of the fic is poorly written, then the lemon will be poorly written too.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 8, 2011)

Tomcat171 said:


> Okay...so maybe that kind of applies to one my fics right now
> 
> But I do plan on explaining how it happened with proper development! Honest!
> 
> However, not even a lot of lemons are written properly. They're either too quick, both in their chronological appearance and their display time.  And, if the rest of the fic is poorly written, *then the lemon will be poorly written too.*



If a lemon is poor, then i just look at porn. I expected sex, i'll get what i want


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 8, 2011)

LOL this thread  Still though, I was reading some fics that ppl had recommended and it was just...filled with too many tropes/peeves.


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## TekJounin (Dec 8, 2011)

If it was one of mine, that was intentional.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 8, 2011)

No, it was called something like Rise of the Black Flames Naruto; the whatevers or something like that; just check the best fic you've ever read thread on here. Honestly that thread does have some alright fics, but so far nothing too great.


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## FoxxyKat (Dec 9, 2011)

Itachifan727 said:


> Seriuosly? Link it, i dare you. over pm of course. I've come over some bad fics too, but sadly these are the ones with like 1000 reviews. I'm reading it and am thinking 'how the fuck is this so popular it sucks *random comaprison* '
> 
> Wait i remember one that had NaruHina have a sleepover and they both slept in the same bed and they were like six-eight yers old. it was bad.


Omg, doesn't that suck?! I've come across fics w/ tons of reviews and I'm reading it thinking 'What is this shit?" Seems like people just want smut in fics these days.

I'm glad I've never read a NH fic.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 9, 2011)

I sadly can find no good ones which makes me annoyed at the fandom.  I don't mind eihter Narupair in fanon, since some writers can pull it off well. But then we get the  *insert word* where they both get sent on the same mission and must protect each other, or some similar senario, which is just disapointing.

Has anyone ever tried to do a NarutoXGeneralFiction(or Fantasy) before? I have an idea for one but I'm not sure it will work too well.


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## Tomcat171 (Dec 9, 2011)

Itachifan727 said:


> *insert word* where they both get sent on the same mission...


Crap? Rubbish? Same shit?


Itachifan727 said:


> Has anyone ever tried to do a NarutoXGeneralFiction(or Fantasy) before? I have an idea for one but I'm not sure it will work too well.


Define 'NarutoxGeneralFiction'. Do you mean an AU?


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 11, 2011)

I think AU with like elves, orcs and that shit but not like LOTR, or any specific thing just generally. It could be them showing up in the Naruverse or vice versa.


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## FrayedThread (Dec 14, 2011)

1: Anything that involves a major character falling in love with an OC, simply because;
"She was the most beautiful and elegant person they had ever seen" 
or some crap like that. Most likely going to end with said character hurting the OC then begging for them back...

2:  Pairing fics where it's like; 
"I would never *Insert problem here* you because I love you!" 
"What? I love you too!"
Completely out of the blue confessions where they are requited straight away, it makes no sense and is almost always out of character.

3: "I suck at summaries"
"Don't like, don't read!"
"No flames!"
If you're going to post a fan fiction online, then be prepared for an array of different opinions and criticism​


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## FoxxyKat (Dec 14, 2011)

FrayedThread said:


> 3: "I suck at summaries"
> "Don't like, don't read!"
> "No flames!"
> If you're going to post a fan fiction online, then be prepared for an array of different opinions and criticism​


Omg, so true! That should be applied to a lot of things.

Someone here got upset w/ me b/c I didn't like their long ass rant about a certain pairing here. We both agreed that we didn't like the pair, but I didn't care for the report or whatever it was. They got all upset and told me I was being rude. How so?! B/c I didn't agree or like it?! Sounds like someone was a little sesitive about their work and if you're like that, don't post things on the net!

Sorry about all that. I just wanted to tell someone.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 16, 2011)

I'm being ignore now?  I don't wanna start it without opinions first, as I'd rather put work into HGN as it's going along smoothly--though i can't say when the hell I'll be done XD.


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## Abanikochan (Dec 17, 2011)

I hate when people complain about a fic with a pairing they don't like. If you don't like the pairing then don't put Character A's name with Character B into the search engine and look for stories to whine about. Complain about the content and execution of the story. Not just because it says AxB. Besides, I've read some beautifully written stories with pairings I don't like or don't really care for. If the author can tactfully put two characters together and create an interesting plot then its all good with me.  

Also why do people keep turning the Akatsuki into cats or children?


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 17, 2011)

Some peeves of mine: 

- Whenever you get reviews that end with (insert character) x (insert character) forever. Seriously, wtf is that? 
- Whenever someone leaves reviews that tell the writer what to do. 
- Angry reviewers. I tried to give a writer some advice and ended up called an asshole by some random reviewer. 
- Random power-ups. I once ran into a fic can't remember the name but it had something to do with Naruto absorbing Tobi and Sasuke (I know, ). Three chapters in he put an AN telling the readers that Naruto now knew all of the sharingan jutsu. Just like that. No training, background; hell, not even hints.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 17, 2011)

Theres also where they try to make Naruto a 'real ninja' meaning he wears black and everyone says 'you changed your clothes, you look like a real ninja, while i, choji, wear underwear on my head and lee wears spandex and sakura wears a dress...good job' or were they try to make naruto summon dragons, phoenixs, tigersor any of that stuff.

Toads + orange + naive, obnoxious, determined, disrespectful, cocky, laidback and annoying personality = Naruto


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## Whirlpool (Dec 17, 2011)

Abanikochan said:


> I hate when people complain about a fic with a pairing they don't like. If you don't like the pairing then don't put Character A's name with Character B into the search engine and look for stories to whine about. Complain about the content and execution of the story. Not just because it says AxB. Besides, I've read some beautifully written stories with pairings I don't like or don't really care for. If the author can tactfully put two characters together and create an interesting plot then its all good with me.
> 
> *Also why do people keep turning the Akatsuki into cats or children? *



tell me about it  akatsuki are evil and they hate/dislike eachother, bar kisame and itachi or nagato and konan. Deal with it

I'm a guy and i read NaruGaa NaruSai and NaruSasu, if the plots excellent and rated T.  Or i'll read rated 'M' Het with decent to awesome plot just for... well nevermind, i digress


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 20, 2011)

I just ran into this today. Explains perfectly why I don't read harem. 

So you can get the idea, here's the summary: 
*Spoiler*: __ 



not good at summarys but here i go "naruto is attacked but four gods will help him become the angel that he is evenual lemons naru/harem



Here's the story itself:



Pretty much summarizes what we don't like.


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## Horu (Dec 21, 2011)

I read the "IN HEAVEN" paragraph


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 21, 2011)

The gods having nothing better to do than to see what Naruto is doing.


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## Horu (Dec 22, 2011)

shini-chan


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## OutlawJohn (Dec 22, 2011)

My list of pet peeves is too many to name. I guess my least favorite would be anything with a summery that goes like this:

"Naruto is beaten and God comes down to save him. Uber Naruto. Naruharem"
"Naruto returns Sasuke to the village only to be beaten and leave. Uber Naruto. Naruharem"


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## Primavera (Dec 25, 2011)

Another thing that bugs me is when I try to read a fic about one default pairing, the author adds the rest of them as side pairings a lot of the time.

Example: When I'm reading a ShikaTema fic and the author adds NaruHina, SasuSaku, NejiTen, and/or SaiIno in there. A lot of them seem to do this, so it's hard to find a good ShikaTema fic without having to deal with pairings I don't like. Same goes for the yaoi fics. I'm not saying that authors should stop doing this, but it makes an otherwise good story less enjoyable for me to read.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Dec 26, 2011)

I agree with the side-shipping thing.  That annoys me to no end.  Half the times I read good Hinata fanfics, Hanabi is paired with Konohamaru.  No offense, but I do not ship Hanabi with anyone other than Moegi.  In fact, I don't see Hanabi as anything other than a stone butch lesbian.  Side pairings will turn me off from a good fanfic very quickly if I hate the side ship.


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## Abanikochan (Dec 26, 2011)

I may drop hints of a side pairing in a fic but I try to avoid from monopolizing the focus of the default pairing. I think its fair though if the author discloses any sidepairings in the summary. Not everyone enjoys AxB with some CxD and ExF.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 29, 2011)

Primavera said:


> Another thing that bugs me is when I try to read a fic about one default pairing, the author adds the rest of them as side pairings a lot of the time.
> 
> Example: When I'm reading a* ShikaTema fic and the author adds NaruHina, SasuSaku, NejiTen,* and/or SaiIno in there. A lot of them seem to do this, so it's hard to find a good ShikaTema fic without having to deal with pairings I don't like. Same goes for the yaoi fics. I'm not saying that authors should stop doing this, but it makes an otherwise good story less enjoyable for me to read.



Pretty much a typical clich? highschool fic 

Put seriously, unless the side-pairings are already together, i'll just breeze through them. Although it's been a while since i read NaruHina, SasuSaku, ShikaIno/Tema and NejiTen. I mean, in these fics, Naruto, Neji, Sasuke and Shikamaru are always friends  

Naruto hangs out with Shikamaru and Sasuke, but sasuke and neji or shikamaru don't hang out. When have you ever seen Naruto/Neji or ShikaSasu, SasuNeji or ShikaNeji hanging out? I know it's a fic put unless these guys are paired together, it makes no sense.

I also hate this 'Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze' business. Pick a last name (Although, even if Minato and Kushina survived, Naruto would probably still be Uzumaki, as seen in that one pic with MinaKushiNaru. It says 'Breakfast with the Uzumaki family')

I detest all that civillian council bashing, as well as Kyubi being nice and fox summons and demon fox summons.

Basically a normal wilkins75 fic


----------



## The Jeffrey (Dec 31, 2011)

Does anyone even read fanfiction anymore? 

I used to do it all the time until I finally realized just what I was reading. Sure there were a few good fics here and there but, overall they're just recycling the same plots over and over again. Not to mention that they appeared to be written by 2-year-olds. 

Now it's rare that I read any unless they are passable.


----------



## Horu (Dec 31, 2011)

If I can find something that isn't a manga rewrite, I'll give it a go.

I honestly don't mind a number of amateur mistakes here and there. I'm intending to write original fiction one day, and while it's commonly recommended to read and study the best writing available, I find I learn a lot more by reading mediocre fiction, seeing what's done poorly, thinking about how it can be done better, then making sure to not make the same mistakes when writing my own stories. People learn best through mistakes, and better to learn from other people's mistakes than my own.

But I agree, it at least has to be passable in some way.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Dec 31, 2011)

FrayedThread said:


> "No flames!"
> If you're going to post a fan fiction online, then be prepared for an array of different opinions and criticism


I confess that I did this for the first few chapters of my first fic, but then I realised that I wouldn't get any better if I didn't know what I was doing wrong/badly.



> Basically a normal wilkins75 fic


Got to admit, his fics are...pretty off


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Dec 31, 2011)

1. Stupid fluffy descriptions. Give us a plot summary not some bs, "flowers wither in the sun, but grow stronger in the rain." What the hell does that mean?

2. Fight scenes that take an hour to read. Honestly I enjoy some fight scenes, but you can make it more visual by being less descriptive. "They were evenly matched as they were exchanging blows" does more for me then pages describing every kick, punch, juutsu, etc.

3. Romance for the sake of romance. I enjoy action/adventure fics. You have a good storyline check. A good writing style. check. Don't ruin it by hastily trying to add romance. Harems are even worse. 

4. People who make a super powered Naruto fic, where they bash Sasuke, but then turn Naruto into a carbon copy of him. Why does Naruto have to be serious, Dark, moody, and arrogant if he becomes powerful? Was Goku a Sasuke? Was Yusuke Urameshi a Sasuke? Luffy? Ranma? No they were characters, powerful, funny at times, serious when it matters. Naruto ain't a dick.

*5. This is my biggest one.

THE KONOHA COUNCIL!!!

So overused. They have more pull then the Hokage. Why even have a Hokage? Tsunade cowers before them becoming a sniveling child.

The council banishes naruto. Tsunade cried.  Naruo returns for revenge. Tsunade cries and says it wasn't her fault.*


----------



## The Jeffrey (Dec 31, 2011)

Horu said:


> If I can find something that isn't a manga rewrite, I'll give it a go.
> 
> I honestly don't mind a number of amateur mistakes here and there. I'm intending to write original fiction one day, and while it's commonly recommended to read and study the best writing available, I find I learn a lot more by reading mediocre fiction, seeing what's done poorly, thinking about how it can be done better, then making sure to not make the same mistakes when writing my own stories. People learn best through mistakes, and better to learn from other people's mistakes than my own.
> 
> But I agree, it at least has to be passable in some way.



Yeah, mistakes are a bit of a turn off but I can push through them. It's only when they use a plot device I don't like that I completely stop reading. Like the usual NaruHina fic calling them fated lovers and everyone pushing them together. I don't mind the pairing but they have to make it believable. 

And I noticed that my writing increased considerably as I read more and more. If something was written well then I took out of it while using mediocre fanfiction to see what not to do when writing. 

Good luck on your story.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Dec 31, 2011)

Wang Yuanji said:


> 1. Stupid fluffy descriptions. Give us a plot summary not some bs, "flowers wither in the sun, but grow stronger in the rain." What the hell does that mean?
> 
> 2. Fight scenes that take an hour to read. Honestly I enjoy some fight scenes, but you can make it more visual by being less descriptive. "They were evenly matched as they were exchanging blows" does more for me then pages describing every kick, punch, juutsu, etc.
> 
> ...



I agree with all of this a 100%. 

I remember reading a fic in which Sasuke had his balls cut off, eyes ripped out and pretty much fucked for the rest of his life.

Your average NaruSaku event but the summary of the story just made my day. *Light Sasuke bashing.*


----------



## Potato (Dec 31, 2011)

1. Overly detailed and tantalizing descriptions - it's so obvious when the author is just adding fluff to try and make the writing not sound like juvenile porn or a high school drama and more sophisticated. Fanfiction does not need to be overly wordy or descriptive to the point of ostentatiousness, the most simple layout is often the most powerful.

2. SemexUke - both Naruto and Sasuke in my eyes have very masculine personalities and for either of them to be treated as girls without boobs and a pussy is so ridiculous. I'm against the whole SemexUke thing in general.

3. When I'm reading everyone is gay. (KakashixIruka, DeidaraxItachi, etc.) WTF?? Gay people comprise only 3-5% of the population and having all the characters of a fanfic be homosexual is totally unrealistic and makes me roll my eyes.

4. Becoming attracted to your rapist. No need to explain methinks


----------



## FrayedThread (Dec 31, 2011)

Pretty much what Potato said.
I don't mind one or two other yaoi pairings being added in but _really_, when everyone else is being turned gay it seems far to OTT.


----------



## Whirlpool (Dec 31, 2011)

Tomcat171 said:


> Got to admit, his fics are...pretty off



"My name is Naruto Namikaze son of the super rich and awesome yondaime and ....that woman from that other clan  I have demon fox summons and the kyuubis gf is called sakura, my gf is also called sakura. Lee is an asshole, sasuke is an asshole, as is choji and the civillians council, sakuras parents hate me btw...NaruSaku every story"

This is in _EVERY_ one of his stories


----------



## Abanikochan (Dec 31, 2011)

Going to delve into some writing/grammar issues that really bother me:

1. Inconsistent tenses (past and present) within the same timeline. 

2. Incorrect punctuation. Comma splices annoy the hell outta me and they seem to be in 75% of fics. Instead of adding in a comma to two unrelated clauses break them up into two sentences. If it sounds choppy and incoherent, vary the sentence lengths. 

3. When the writer has absolutely no regard for spelling, punctuation or grammar and the fic sounds like it was written by an elementary school student. I find it *incredibly* disturbing when lemons are written this way. 

Content issues:  

1. OCs/self-inserts/Mary Sues. Don't really care if its a background/side character but one of the biggest flaws of the Naruto manga is the surplus of characters that are continuously added while the development of the other established characters is largely ignored. Won't read any fic featuring an OC as a main character. Just won't. 

2. Fics that are way too verbose and over-indulgent in detail. Get to the story already.

3. Shallow and poorly relationships. Doesn't matter if it is yaoi/yuri/het/crack/cannon/non-cannon...I think a truly talented writer can put any two characters together and make it a good read if it is done tactfully.  

4. Predictable plots. Plain boring and uninteresting. Especially awful when people are telling the author what to do next in reviews because the story is _that_ bland. I don't like reviewers being able to guess what will happen in the next chapter. If people are able to guess what happens before I even write it then I kinda feel like I've failed to make the story fresh and interesting.


----------



## Ailuro (Dec 31, 2011)

Those stories where the characters discover there's fanfiction about them. Suddenly the learn a whole lot more about one another: Naruto has the Kyubi? What? Hinata loved Naruto since the Academy (where everyone, but Naruto knew)? Tenten has a crush on Neji? Guy likes to secretly run naked under the moonlight? 

They'll be a bit surprised, but nothing ever comes from discovering that someone has a demon or someone loved you all that time you knew them. Mostly it's used to get the author's favourite couple together.

Truth or Dare fics does the same thing.


Also agree on Potato's and Abanikochan's points.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 31, 2011)

Abanikochan said:


> Going to delve into some writing/grammar issues that really bother me:
> 
> 1. Inconsistent tenses (past and present) within the same timeline.
> 
> ...



This guy called bankai777 always does that. And constantly calls Naruto 'Naruto Namikaze' seriously, no 'Naruto'constantly 'Make Naruto Namikaze teachs Ino Hiraishin and beat up the council' or stuff like that


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## Whirlpool (Dec 31, 2011)

When they say 'Penis' in lemons


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 31, 2011)

Ailuro said:


> Those stories where the characters discover there's fanfiction about them. Suddenly the learn a whole lot more about one another: Naruto has the Kyubi? What? Hinata loved Naruto since the Academy (where everyone, but Naruto knew)? Tenten has a crush on Neji? Guy likes to secretly run naked under the moonlight?
> 
> They'll be a bit surprised, but nothing ever comes from discovering that someone has a demon or someone loved you all that time you knew them. Mostly it's used to get the author's favourite couple together.
> 
> ...



I guess you read 'Naruto reads Naruto.'


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## Abanikochan (Dec 31, 2011)

^

"Penis" makes people laugh and giggle

"Vagina" makes people feel awkward and uncomfortable.


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 1, 2012)

I missed one. 

I hate it when I read a story, and a character, usually Naruto, gains a power up from another series. Especially Bleach.

I read one where it makes no mention of a crossover in the description. 3 chapters in Kyuubi is actually Zangetsu, Naruto becomes Kenpachi, and then starts a village comprised of the characters from Bleach...


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## Ailuro (Jan 1, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> I guess you read 'Naruto reads Naruto.'


I've came across two. Took a peek.


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## Whirlpool (Jan 2, 2012)

Abanikochan said:


> ^
> 
> "Penis" makes people laugh and giggle
> 
> "Vagina" makes people feel awkward and uncomfortable.



'He put his penis in her vagina'

Me:


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 2, 2012)

Authors who use the word albeit 40 times in every chapter.


----------



## Spock (Jan 3, 2012)

Contraception No Jutsu. Ugh.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 3, 2012)

UnidentifiedFlyingObject said:


> Contraception No Jutsu. Ugh.



 tell me about it


----------



## Golden Circle (Jan 3, 2012)

AU stories are the best.

That being said, what ticked me off when I was reading fanfiction was pages and pages of conversation with no action. 

Or when entire fights only lasted one sentence.


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 5, 2012)

How about stories that end with "I know it sucks, and I'm not that good at writing etc etc etc"

We all know your fishing for some praise.


----------



## Abanikochan (Jan 5, 2012)

Wang Yuanji said:


> How about stories that end with "I know it sucks, and I'm not that good at writing etc etc etc"
> 
> We all know your fishing for some praise.



Ughh it really annoys me when people fish for compliments regarding anything. It's blatantly feigning any humbleness.


----------



## Spock (Jan 5, 2012)

Modern Western Names even in AU.


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## Tomcat171 (Jan 5, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> When they say 'Penis' in lemons


Sorry, my bad . But seriously, using 'cock' and 'pussy' just make me feel...immature. *Ignores fact I'm writing goddamn _erotic fan fiction of a shounen manga_* 



UnidentifiedFlyingObject said:


> Contraception No Jutsu. Ugh.





Whirlpool said:


> tell me about it


Sorry...

Then again, I use that simply because chakra is used in many of their medical procedures. What, you think _herbal_ crap will work? And who's saying that condoms or diaphragms even exist in the Naruto universe? I'm not exactly trying to defend my method, but can anybody give me something better to use as an excuse for non-pregnancy in lemons...that doesn't actually exclude the sex?


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 5, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Sorry, my bad . But seriously, using 'cock' and 'pussy' just make me feel...immature. *Ignores fact I'm writing goddamn _erotic fan fiction_*
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I cringe at condoms, they gross me out so much


----------



## TekJounin (Jan 5, 2012)

Condoms are still very effective.  And sex is fairly gross if you're doing it right but it's generally worth it.  

"Penis" doesn't bother me as much as the euphemisms.  Throbbing member, manhood, love muscle, hard shaft, etc.  And overstating the size...it's rampant.  Nice little virgins would be ruined if the guy was that well endowed.

I don't have a real problem with chakra as birth control.  It might be more believable if it was used to make an object into the actual birth control, like Tsunade's forehead diamond thingy, only situated more intimately.  They use written words that are activated & crawl over patients regularly, so why not have such a thing stored in a mark & activated as needed?


----------



## Spock (Jan 6, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Then again, I use that simply because chakra is used in many of their medical procedures. What, you think _herbal_ crap will work? And who's saying that condoms or diaphragms even exist in the Naruto universe? I'm not exactly trying to defend my method, but can anybody give me something better to use as an excuse for non-pregnancy in lemons...that doesn't actually exclude the sex?



Don't mention it unless you can explain the Biological/Chemical/Magical process of this barrier method which physically through some ancient Japanese magic prevents sperm from fertilizing. 

I'm not being sarcastic, it's annoying reading the following lines without a thoughtful explanation of the Jutsu. 

And the concept keeps changing every time, sometimes both are able to preform sometimes only one gender can preform. I'm getting tired of that shit.




> After stripping Naruto, 'Mizukage-sama' removed the rest of her clothes, so they both were naked now, and did one-handed seals for contraceptive jutsu. "Ready, blondie?"



Lol. Hot politics Chapter 1



> "Why do kunoichi have to cast the contraceptive jutsu when it's the shinobi that stick their…"



I'm a Kunoichi, But 



> "Naruto What if I get pregnant?"
> 
> "Bullshit I heard from the Konoichi that all female Nin were taught a contraceptive Jutsu when they graduated, not only that but as I recall the last two times you even asked me let go inside"



I love the retardness of this fanfic: WAR Ch 3, Naruto

 I guess Asuma and Kurenai just could not master it is a priviledge reserved only for sex driven angsty ninja teenagers..


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 6, 2012)

*Suddenly gets reminded about how deserted the Lemon FC in the Bathhouse has become. The most recent post in that thread was me....last October...*

And those examples...oh dear 

Alright, I'll try and think of a way to explain it in a future chapter of something. Maybe a seal could be an idea...


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## Spock (Jan 6, 2012)

Ikea Erotica!


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 9, 2012)

UnidentifiedFlyingObject said:


> Lol. Hot politics Chapter 1



Loved how you could just remember it like that....


Hot politics is an epic fanfic


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## Tomcat171 (Jan 9, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Hot politics is an epic fanfic


Please direct me to the supplier of the reality-altering shit you're smoking/sniffing/ramming up your arse.

HP is baaaaaaaad. Very. Very. Bad.

Oh yeah, and it looks like I need to apologise for something else:



Golden Circle said:


> AU stories are the best.
> 
> That being said, what ticked me off when I was reading fanfiction was pages and pages of conversation with no action.


Sorry, but my AU fic doesn't really have much 'action' in it. There'll be some tension later, and maybe a small scuffle, but nothing like murder death kill demolition man stuff.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 10, 2012)

This one is a peeve of mine about reviewers. 

I hate to wake up to dozens of reviews and read them to find this: 


*Spoiler*: __ 



Ch.1 Cool
Ch.2 Awesome
Ch.3 
Ch.4 lol
etc.




Seriously, what the fuck?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 10, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> This one is a peeve of mine about reviewers.
> 
> I hate to wake up to dozens of reviews and read them to find this:
> 
> ...


I got number 3 once, I stated my annoyance at such in a later author's note


----------



## NoxiousNerdgasms (Jan 10, 2012)

7 minutes in heaven.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 10, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I got number 3 once, I stated my annoyance at such in a later author's note



Yeah that stuff happens to me quite a lot. 

My strangest review came from some random person reviewing another story and somehow sending it to my mine (something about Hinata having a bow and fighting zombies). I didn't mind it much but the follow-up review with a 'sorry' did it for me.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 10, 2012)

One thing that gravely annoys me in some fics, specifically on FF, is the spacing. I get considerably fed up whenever I see a story with one or two-sentence paragraphs, it's like reading a list rather than a story.


----------



## Primavera (Jan 10, 2012)

Potato said:


> 1. Overly detailed and tantalizing descriptions - it's so obvious when the author is just adding fluff to try and make the writing not sound like juvenile porn or a high school drama and more sophisticated. Fanfiction does not need to be overly wordy or descriptive to the point of ostentatiousness, the most simple layout is often the most powerful.
> 
> 2. SemexUke - both Naruto and Sasuke in my eyes have very masculine personalities and for either of them to be treated as girls without boobs and a pussy is so ridiculous. I'm against the whole SemexUke thing in general.
> 
> ...


I agree. When the author adds a ridiculous amount of description, the story just seems to drag on and I lose interest quickly. Less is more.

I also dislike the whole seme/uke thing. Seriously, I don't know how many Itachi/Deidara fics I read in which Deidara acted like a slutty, utterly submissive chick.  That's not him at all, and Itachi _definitely_ isn't some ridiculously horny and demanding seme. Doesn't anyone believe in rough, angsty hate-sex?

You mean like in those Akatsuki fics where the pairings are SasoDei, KisaIta, KakuHida, ZetsuTobi, and PeiKona is just thrown in there just because? Completely agree with this point too.

I've never read one of those, thankfully, but that just sounds ridiculous.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 11, 2012)

Why everyone hate descriptions? 

Hmm, I think one of the people here must be the one who called me stuck up in a review...bastards. Meh, I wasn't aware people hated it that much. Okay, I can take a hint for future chapters.


----------



## Primavera (Jan 11, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Why everyone hate descriptions?


I don't hate descriptions, I just don't like a ridiculous amount of it is all. I like it when the author describes enough for us to envision it, but when they start describing every little detail, that's when the story gets tedious to read.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 11, 2012)

But nothing compares to taking two paragraphs to describe what Naruto is wearing. Talking about his cool fox tattoo and black clothes (usually accompanied by a black sword that takes another paragraph to describe).


----------



## BringerOfCarnage (Jan 12, 2012)

*Yaoi/Yuri*
I simply detest these, considering that almost all of them involve straight characters.

* Extreme OOCness*
I can understand OOCness to a certain extent, particularly if it is necessary to the plot, but boundaries need to be realised.

* Self Inserts/God-Tier OCs*
I've come across certain fanfics(especially when the author ends up in the Narutoverse) where the Author/OC is so damn good that the greatest prodigies in Naruto are put to shame. And this doesn't extend to strength alone-brains, looks, singing abilities (I'm not kidding) etc.all maxed out.
Just yuck... OCs should have their limitations-some authors just don't see that.

* Disregarding the boundaries of canon*
Pretty self-explanatory. I don't expect to see every FREAKING Uchiha pop up with the Mangekyou Sharingan, or Sakura being Jounin level-sometimes I still get it.

* Insanely retarded pairings*
Where did ItachixSakura start from anyway!? I could go on and on about the shit I see sometimes.

* Crappy grammar, lack of capital letters and punctuation marks, walls of text, etc.*
We all hate this.

* Character exaggerations *
Self explanatory

* Overused.or CRAPPY plots *
We all know the ones, especially the "OC joins Akatsuki" types. I've yet to read a good one.


That's all for now...


----------



## DaKakz (Jan 12, 2012)

I hate fics where Naruto is a badass from the start of Part 1. They all look the same and are damn annoying as you can feel that the writer is just taking revenge on what Kishimoto did to Naruto by making him hate Sakura, owning Sasuke whenever he speaks, defeating Zabuza with a slap to the face and having all Team 7 including Kakashi talk about how awesome he is and how they look nothing compared to him etc...

Oh and as The Jeffrey said, they make him wear some cool black outfit with tattos and other stupid accessories that don't in my opinion change the fact that Naruto will still look like a sissy bishonen blonde spoiled brat.


----------



## Primavera (Jan 12, 2012)

BringerOfCarnage said:


> *Yaoi/Yuri*
> I simply detest these, considering that almost all of them involve straight characters.
> 
> * Insanely retarded pairings*
> Where did ItachixSakura start from anyway!? I could go on and on about the shit I see sometimes.


I don't mind these, since I think everyone has the right to enjoy a pairing they like in fanon since it won't become canon. When they're written right, even yaoi, yuri, or crack can seem believable. It's only for fun, so I have a "don't like, don't read" mentality about them.

(But I do admit to disliking ItaSaku. A lot.)

I agree with everything else you said, though.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 12, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Please direct me to the supplier of the reality-altering shit you're smoking/sniffing/ramming up your arse.
> 
> HP is baaaaaaaad. Very. Very. Bad.



It's that way ---->

I was srsly trnd on when reedin it

while i agree the plot is bad, i'll enjoy any lemons


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 12, 2012)

BringerOfCarnage;41736821

[B said:
			
		

> Character exaggerations [/B]
> Self explanatory



You mean when Shikamaru says 'troublesome' in every sentance and sasuke only says 'hn'

Yeah, that's hella annoying


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 12, 2012)

I don't read Naruto fanfiction. 

But, seriously I've tried to and they can't hold my attention for very long. I don't like anything with Naruto in it. _Especially_ the Naruto harem fanfics. The thing is, I don't like Naruto in canon and looking at people's comments (tattoos etc.) I'm not going to like Naruto in fanfiction, either.

Can anyone point me to some decent Naruto fanfiction that has minimum Naruto in it?

*EDIT: I'm going to try a fanfiction with Naruto in it. Maybe my feelings will be changed.*


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 12, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I don't read Naruto fanfiction.
> 
> But, seriously I've tried to and they can't hold my attention for very long. I don't like anything with Naruto in it. _Especially_ the Naruto harem fanfics. The thing is, I don't like Naruto in canon and looking at people's comments (tattoos etc.) I'm not going to like Naruto in fanfiction, either.
> 
> ...


I have to warn you, you've just jumped into a haystack the size of Texas with the hope of finding a needle the size of an atom. FF is that clogged with crap, and trying to find that one shining beacon is quite a feat. Okay, so maybe I exaggerated that a bit, but good fics are still few and far between.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 12, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I have to warn you, you've just jumped into a haystack the size of Texas with the hope of finding a needle the size of an atom. FF is that clogged with crap, and trying to find that one shining beacon is quite a feat. Okay, so maybe I exaggerated that a bit, but good fics are still few and far between.



I know what you mean...

I saw a description for one that went something like:"Naruto has two secrets: He is a she and something about the Kyuubi". They should've just made Naruto "Naruko" from the start. None of this "secret" garbage. I didn't bother to read it....


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 12, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I have to warn you, you've just jumped into a haystack the size of Texas with the hope of finding a needle the size of an atom. FF is that clogged with crap, and trying to find that one shining beacon is quite a feat. Okay, so maybe I exaggerated that a bit, but good fics are still few and far between.



i agree, try to find m-rated (i can't really read anything else unless it's a really good humor one) ones that arn't harems, naruhina (clich? ones) and don't have any bashing in it, of course that's just weeding out the worst, tehre are still a tonne of terrible more fics to go 

P.S Need some recommendations


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 12, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I know what you mean...
> 
> I saw a description for one that went something like:"Naruto has two secrets: He is a she and something about the Kyuubi". They should've just made Naruto "Naruko" from the start. None of this "secret" garbage. I didn't bother to read it....



Gonna search fanfiction and show you some hilarious, yet quite sad and stupid plots 

_Can you imagine waking up in a forest of the Naruto world in the body of a kitten? Well, can you ALSO imagine becoming a pet to the Akatsuki? Read to find out. AKATSUKIxOC Eventual romance. Warnings within._

Cats, how lovely 

_Four mysterious girls appear in the naruto world. Who are they and why does akatsuki want them? GaaraOC NejiOC LeeOC_

Anybody else want to add an input?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 12, 2012)

One thing I hate about summaries is that they can be written very poorly, both gramatically and in their description, but the story is completely the opposite, with good grammar to boot. Oh well...

But on the summary example front:

_"Deidara's sister comes to live the Akatsuki and some thing are better left unsaid as they learn of Deidara's dark past. Just what is their little Bomber hiding? And what consequences are there?"_ - The shit? By the way, the sister in this story isn't Ino for once, it's an OC.

_"To save an abandoned pup, Hana has to call on the help of Sasuke's younger sister, a girl who was litterally raised by wolves. ENTER: YUKI UCHIHA! Now, Yuki and Setaro must bring SAsuke and Hinat together while trying to save their pack. Can the do it?"_ - See what I mean by a shit summary?

And on the cat front:
_"Becka is an average orphan yearning for a home. One morning she wakes up to find herself in the Naruto world, as a cat! How long will Becka be-able to last living with a bunch of smexy criminals? Summary sucks_ *[Damn straight, but why fucking say that in the first place? People won't read the sodding thing!]*_. Rated M just incase"_ - Wha...?

I found all of these example on the first two pages of the latest Naruto FF uploads...

*Insert 'Don't want to live on this planet anymore' meme...*


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 12, 2012)

*The Akatsuki get turned into kittens. Sakura and her twin sister take care of them. Chaos ensues. If you dislike profanity and/or OOC-ness, I suggest not reading. Temporarily Hiatus... Sorry... Y.Y* 

C'mon. Make a short Yonkoma (is that what those four panel comics are called?) or something for this. Or get someone else to draw it. Reading about stuff like this is no fun. I'm all for OOC-ness. As long as you can make it work.

*It didn't matter whether it was snowing, raining or just a violent storm; he always went to visit that same place that same day, every year. Naruto centric, NaruSaku.* 

Please don't tell me the pairing in the summary. That makes me not want to read it. Although this does sound a bit interesting.

*Itachi's prank has gone too far, and Sasuke is declaring war... with help from Naruto and Sakura, who are really just along for the ride. Let battle commence. AU, crack and general silliness.*

Another example of something that would make a funny comic. But, fanfiction? No, no, no.

*Well this is a SasukeXO.C story.* 

Thank you for the warning. 

*Shiomi Hatake has just come home from the Sand Village she get's put into Team 7 along with Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha.*
O rly? 

*She is very interested by Sasuke and he is interested by her. Will love bloom?*

Of course it will, silly! You told us that in the first line! There's something about OCs that I don't like. Everytime I hear about an OC, I get bad thoughts. They always seem like self-inserts or something. I think OCs can be good if they're written well, but everytime I see the word OC I think "Mary Sue".

*Sakura and Sasuke have been friends since they were 6. Secretly liking each other, they've always been able to get through everything until their High School Sr year. Will their friendship make it? SasxSak NejxTen NarxHin InoxShika Rating may change*

Whoa, baby! Rating might change! Who cares?

I think the summary is one of the most important things (other than the quality of the story). Oh, and Whirlpool, I'll take your advice and look for M rated ones....


----------



## NoxiousNerdgasms (Jan 12, 2012)

Who here has heard about "My Immortal"? It was a Harry fanfic LOL.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 12, 2012)

NoxiousNerdgasms said:


> Who here has heard about "My Immortal"? It was a Harry fanfic LOL.


I think the better question to ask here is 'Who _hasn't_ heard of My Immortal?'

But remember, this is a Naruto FF thread, keep the HP stuff short and sweet.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 13, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Whirlpool, I'll take your advice and look for M rated ones....



you don't have to, there may be a few excellent T-Rated ones, but sometimes,while half of them are immature and sucky, there can be a few good ones.

P.S What's my immortal? havent read harry potter fanfiction before


----------



## Burke (Jan 13, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> One thing I hate about summaries is that they can be written very poorly, both gramatically and in their description, but the story is completely the opposite, with good grammar to boot. Oh well...
> 
> But on the summary example front:
> 
> ...



Asking the reader questions is a big no-no in summaries. What one must do is write there summary in a way that makes the reader ask themselves these questions.

So true


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 13, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> P.S What's my immortal? havent read harry potter fanfiction before


Let's put it this way:



But this fame is not because it's a good fic...it's the complete opposite.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 13, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Let's put it this way:
> 
> 
> 
> But this fame is not because it's a good fic...it's the complete opposite.



I thought it was good. Excellent plot, good mature lemons and excellent character development...



[YOUTUBE]uRfmVe7iL4k[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 13, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I thought it was good. Excellent plot, good mature lemons and excellent character development...


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 13, 2012)

Is there a Naruto equivalent to My Immortal?


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 13, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Is there a Naruto equivalent to My Immortal?



i shall fap to it if there is


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 13, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Just humour me for minute and read



What did I just read?


*Spoiler*: __ 



Still better than most fanfictions though.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 13, 2012)

I know its off-topic, but i once read a bleach fic were ichigo met jesus in the SS

Seriously

Best.Plot-twist.Ever


----------



## Primavera (Jan 13, 2012)

Another thing I dislike: When authors tag the fic with two canon characters, and it turns out it's a fic where said canon characters are in a love triangle with an OC. Seriously, if your OC is the main character, don't add the two canon characters as 'Character 1' and 'Character 2.' You have no idea how many shitty fics where Itachi and Deidara are in love with some OC chick (do they seriously think that those two would have the same taste in women?) I have to look over just to find an ItaDei one. It's annoying.



Whirlpool said:


> I know its off-topic, but i once read a bleach fic were ichigo met jesus in the SS
> 
> Seriously
> 
> Best.Plot-twist.Ever


I once read one where Aizen met the King of Soul Society, who turned out to be Elvis Presley. And then he proceeded to get pwned by said King. Now THAT was awesome.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 14, 2012)

Primavera said:


> I once read one where Aizen met the King of Soul Society, who turned out to be Elvis Presley. And then he proceeded to get pwned by said King. Now THAT was awesome.



Please tell me you know the name of this. Just by reading your quote I can tell I'm in for something epic.


----------



## Primavera (Jan 14, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Please tell me you know the name of this. Just by reading your quote I can tell I'm in for something epic.


I didn't remember, but it was easy to find:



Not as epic as I remembered, but Elvis kicks ass.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 14, 2012)

Oh, where's Maury when you need him?


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 15, 2012)

A dimension where all screamed for naught.

I hate authors that feel the need to put this.


*Spoiler*: __ 



"Just then the two youthful, spandex clad men embraced. Everyone present could see a sun set with waves crashing on the shore as they held eachother.

Gai-Sensei

Lee

Gai-Sensei

Lee

Gai-Sensei

Lee

Gai-Sensei

Lee

Gai-Sensei

Lee

Gai-Sensei

Lee

Do we honestly need pages of this? Not to mention that the authors that include this gag often use it several times throughout the manga.




Another thing is authors who suffer from kishimoto-syndrome type C. Try to include every canon character ever conceived and soon we have a conversation, fight scene or what have you with 15 different characters all trying to throw a punch or squeeze in a punch line if you will.

Also read another one last week. His first paragraph was a rant. "Im so sick of all these super powered naruto fics where the authors give him broken kekkei genkai's. Naruto has everything he needs to be powerful.

the author then proceeds to make naruto uber fast, uber smart, uber strong with no real showing as to how he obtained this. He also masters the sexual seduction techniques and soon has every girl in the universe wanting to submit to him.

Then to make matters worse he completely breaks all of narutos jutsu. Real life blood clones, and not 1 or 2 but hundreds, conviniently he can retrain to regain the chakra he lost. He also absorbs the kyuubis power.

gonna stop their. I know TL/DR


----------



## DreamsOnWings (Jan 16, 2012)

1) When Hinata acts super badass. Not. Happening. She's sweet and adorable and kind, not the type to kick someone to the ground and openly mock them. Same thing with Inoue Orihime. 

2) When Sakura/Hinata falls in fated love with Naruto/Sasuke/Kiba/Neji/Shikamaru/Itachi/Whoever-the-hell and goes through super powered power-ups and automatically becomes the next Hokage, even though Tsunade is still alive. Oh, and to top things off, they get their own bijuu! _Ugh. Just....No._

3) When Temari calls Shikamaru "Shika-kun". Pre-time-skip, maybe, okay, but Shippuden? Just....so....girly.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 16, 2012)

Just wondering, has anybody ever run into the guy that can't seem to call Naruto just by his name, instead just calling him Naruto Namikaze ALL the time and talking about how great Minato is?

As for a summary having 'Character/Character' on the description. It does get annoying but I found out that if you don't then you get thousands of reviews asking for some random pairing. I understand the need to put the pairing on the summary but it doesn't mean I like it.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 16, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Just wondering, has anybody ever run into the guy that can't seem to call Naruto just by his name, instead just calling him Naruto Namikaze ALL the time and talking about how great Minato is?



I haven't read many Naruto fanfictions. And I tend to steer clear of any that say things like, "God-Like Naruto", "Dark Naruto", "Insane Naruto" etc. 

And this guy you speak of. He sounds awful. 



> As for a summary having 'Character/Character' on the description. It does get annoying but I found out that if you don't then you get thousands of reviews asking for some random pairing. I understand the need to put the pairing on the summary but it doesn't mean I like it.



Well, a lot of people in this fandom like their pairings. I don't like the whole 'CharacterxCharacter' thing, either. I also don't like the "Rating will change later on". Who cares? Why don't you rate it T, M,  etc. in the first place?


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 16, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Just wondering, has anybody ever run into the guy that can't seem to call Naruto just by his name, instead just calling him Naruto Namikaze ALL the time and talking about how great Minato is?
> 
> As for a summary having 'Character/Character' on the description. It does get annoying but I found out that if you don't then you get thousands of reviews asking for some random pairing. I understand the need to put the pairing on the summary but it doesn't mean I like it.



I know, get over it fanboys. Naruto *UZUMAKI* Not Naruto Namikaze or...ughh....Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze 

I hate it when they overdose Minatos name when they reveal Narutos heritage "Your father is Minato Namikaze, fourth hokage, yellow flash of konoha, etc...."

And i'm like..."  i know"

Besides Uzumaki > Namikaze in coolness anyway


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 16, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I haven't read many Naruto fanfictions. And I tend to steer clear of any that say things like, "God-Like Naruto", "Dark Naruto", "Insane Naruto" etc.
> 
> And this guy you speak of. He sounds awful.



Yeah he is. 



Baby Joe said:


> Well, a lot of people in this fandom like their pairings. I don't like the whole 'CharacterxCharacter' thing, either. I also don't like the "Rating will change later on". Who cares? Why don't you rate it T, M,  etc. in the first place?



This is what I don't get either. I guess they do it in an attempt to get more views.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 16, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I know, get over it fanboys. Naruto *UZUMAKI* Not Naruto Namikaze or...ughh....Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze
> 
> I hate it when they overdose Minatos name when they reveal Narutos heritage "Your father is Minato Namikaze, fourth hokage, yellow flash of konoha, etc...."
> 
> ...



Yeah is not like we don't know who his dad is. I also hate it when they turn Naruto into a Minato clone and walk around calling himself Namikaze, apparently forgetting he is an Uzumaki. 

And yeah. Uzumaki >>>>>>>>> Namikaze in every way.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 17, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Yeah is not like we don't know who his dad is. I also hate it when they turn Naruto into a Minato clone and walk around calling himself Namikaze, apparently forgetting he is an Uzumaki.
> 
> And yeah. Uzumaki >>>>>>>>> Namikaze in every way.



Yeah, with the white cloak and jaw-length bangs 

I would enjoy Naruto to be a mixture between Kakashi and Kushina in personality (bored and nonchalant, but still the same old naruto) with a clothing mixture between jiraiya and minato. All the people who looked after him ...well minato and kushina are an exception 

Basically this



Sannin Naruto


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 17, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I would enjoy Naruto to be a mixture between Kakashi and Kushina in personality (bored and nonchalant, but still the same old naruto) with a clothing mixture between jiraiya and minato. All the people who looked after him ...well minato and kushina are an exception
> 
> Basically this
> 
> ...



There's no words to describe how badass he looks.


----------



## FAYAHRZ (Jan 17, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> This is what I don't get either. I guess they do it in an attempt to get more views.



Well, if a majority of the fic doesn't have anything M-rated until perhaps the very last chapter (and those who don't like the M part can just skip that), I'd rather have it rated T until then because having it rated M straight off typically gives a wrong impression of the fic. It helps people know what to expect. If you see a fic summary with a T rating, it would probably sound different than if you saw it with an M rating. 

That art is quite cool


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 17, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Yeah, with the white cloak and jaw-length bangs
> 
> I would enjoy Naruto to be a mixture between Kakashi and Kushina in personality (bored and nonchalant, but still the same old naruto) with a clothing mixture between jiraiya and minato. All the people who looked after him ...well minato and kushina are an exception
> 
> ...



Hmmm. Naruto looks like you can snap him in two. And those sleeves are _looooonnnnggg_. The colors are amazing, though.

I'd like to see him wear some weird Jiraiya-like outfit. Man, I love J-Man.

On topic: I don't care about ratings. It just irks me when people say that they'll change the rating. They bog down their limited space of summaries with things like-here's an example:_*What if Sakura, instead of loving Sasuke actually loves Naruto but hides her feelings by pretending to love Sasuke? Smarter Naruto, Perverted Sakura and kakashi, nicer Sasuke. IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD? read and find out*_

C'mon people. I'll know how they'll act when (if) I read the fic.
And:

_*the Arai twins OC have decided to use their kekkei genkai to prank, control and terrorise the residents of konohagakure. will they be caught, or continue their fun? terrible summary XD rated M for safety,some OC x various characters, and many pairings.*_

Summaries like these annoy me.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 17, 2012)

FAYAHRZ said:


> Well, if a majority of the fic doesn't have anything M-rated until perhaps the very last chapter (and those who don't like the M part can just skip that), I'd rather have it rated T until then because having it rated M straight off typically gives a wrong impression of the fic. It helps people know what to expect. If you see a fic summary with a T rating, it would probably sound different than if you saw it with an M rating.



It really depends on the fic though. I read stories that are rated M and have no problem with them. What I don't like is when a story is rated T and the writer makes it M just for lemons, I wouldn't care if it was for violence or darker themes but you can tell that the person is looking for reviews when they add lemons.

So if they want to put lemons in the story then they should start with an M rating. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



That way I'll read.


----------



## FAYAHRZ (Jan 17, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> It really depends on the fic though. I read stories that are rated M and have no problem with them. What I don't like is when a story is rated T and the writer makes it M just for lemons, I wouldn't care if it was for violence or darker themes but you can tell that the person is looking for reviews when they add lemons.
> 
> So if they want to put lemons in the story then they should start with an M rating.
> 
> ...



Haha, I guess you're right. I just tend to be the opposite and avoid M rated fics somewhat unless it was recommended to me.

When I see a fic with bad grammar/spelling (not just one or two typos), I tend to avoid it altogether. Also, writing "PLZ REVIEW" on a fic definitely doesn't help at all and annoys me quite a bit...or "I suck at summaries" or whatever. Wasted characters pff.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 18, 2012)

FAYAHRZ said:


> Haha, I guess you're right. I just tend to be the opposite and avoid M rated fics somewhat unless it was recommended to me.
> 
> When I see a fic with bad grammar/spelling (not just one or two typos), I tend to avoid it altogether. Also, writing "PLZ REVIEW" on a fic definitely doesn't help at all and annoys me quite a bit...or "I suck at summaries" or whatever. Wasted characters pff.



Yeah they annoy me too, but don't forget the, "if I don't get x amount of reviews then I won't update." 

I mean what the hell? They act like we're just dying to read their stuff.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 18, 2012)

I hate the whole, "Don't like, don't read" thing some people put on their summaries. That just makes me avoid it all together.


----------



## Ice Princess (Jan 18, 2012)

Hitomi_No_Ryu said:


> 4. 'Author's Note' Chapters...we do not want to read about your whining or excuses why the fic is not updating!! If you have time to tell us these stupid reasons, you have time to write out another chapter so GET TO IT!!



Good to see you're an understanding person.


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 18, 2012)

Authors whose word count is up in the 100 000s for the sake of being long. Quality over Quantity.

Authors who answer reviews at the start and/or end of chapters. No one cares send them an message if its that ground breaking.

COCKY AUTHORS DRIVE ME INSANE. ie.

A/K: My chapter is a little delayed, but come on guys its me. It'll be worth it. quit begging and crying.

or

A/K: EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, AN UPDATE!!!

Thanks boss...


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 18, 2012)

Jiraiya: Naruto used 'x'

Ino, whos there for no reason: whats that

Jiriaya: bla bla

Kiba: herp derp he cant do that!

Tsunade: lol yes he can

Shikamaru: troublesome *explains something over complicated like he knows everything in the world, when truly, he's just an epic strategist, not a bookworm/nerd like sakura*


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 18, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Jiraiya: Naruto used 'x'
> 
> Ino, whos there for no reason: whats that
> 
> ...



  

But, are the fics really written like a screenplay like that?

And I like a long fanfiction. Makes me look forward to something. As long as it's written decently, I don't mind.


----------



## TekJounin (Jan 18, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> But, are the fics really written like a screenplay like that?
> 
> And I like a long fanfiction. Makes me look forward to something. As long as it's written decently, I don't mind.



Some (thankfully I haven't found many) are written like screenplays and they're ... odd.

I have mixed emotions about getting put on a reader's watch list but not getting feedback.  On the one hand, Yay for having someone want to know when I write something new.  On the other hand, what did they like?  It's hard to know what appeals to people without even a small explanation.

But I mainly write for myself, so it's a wash anyway.

I agree with being peeved at the folks who withhold chapters until they get feedback and the ones who publish a chapter;s worth of excuses for not updating.  

I do understand that real life will sometimes keep people from writing but I lose interest if there aren't updates at least monthly.  Too often, those stories get abandoned and I feel resentful that I've stuck with the story for so long & get let down.  I tend to only read stories that are marked Complete, just to avoid that.

And if the story isn't terribly intriguing to begin with, I may just drop it instead of waiting for updates.  I don't like to have to re-read the whole thing in order for the new chapter to make sense.


----------



## ZexionVI (Jan 18, 2012)

Nyarlathotep said:


> Oh boy, let's see:
> 
> 13. The Naruto/HP crossovers, I abhor them.



Dude, have you read Troika Parallel? It was GOLDEN. If not, I highly reccomend. Spot on withall other points though.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 18, 2012)

Found a script form story. 



It stops with the script writing after a few chapters but I couldn't read it regardless.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 19, 2012)

Check out this most awesome fic evaaaaaarrrrr:



Summary: "Rinnegan Sharingan Naruto, Naruto gains the Rinnegan after Haku 'Kills' Sasuke at the Bridge, Will Naruto use his new powers for the good or Chaos."

Naruto and Yugito as listed and A/N-backed pairing.

Oh my God. I've only read the summary and the first five sentences, and I can safely say that this would annoy the majority of the people who post in this thread. Rinnegan Naruto, silly summary, not-so-good grammar AND....mid-chapter A/N crap that looks like it's meant to be part of the story, didn't even bother making the text bold or italicised or underlined:

_"When Naruto finally stopped laughing he noticed that Haku's hands were tightened into to fist before he sighed he looked up with tears still in his eyes and said…

The End

Mhuhahahahahaha Cliff Hanger lucky for you though that was a joke."_

BESSSST FICK EVUR.

*Loses faith in humanity*


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 19, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> But, are the fics really written like a screenplay like that?
> 
> And I like a long fanfiction. Makes me look forward to something. As long as it's written decently, I don't mind.



well...no, but Its just because i'm to lazy to think and say shit like 'Jiraiya said with pride' or 'Ino spoke'


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 19, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> ones who publish a chapter;s worth of excuses for not updating.



yeah, i'm basically like "Who cares? You updated and we recieved, you have a life no need to give excuses"


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 19, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> But, are the fics really written like a screenplay like that?
> 
> And I like a long fanfiction. Makes me look forward to something. As long as it's written decently, I don't mind.



when i search it's usually 20,000 or more, but i'm usually looking for some 60,000+


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 19, 2012)

> _"When Naruto finally stopped laughing he noticed that Haku's hands were tightened into to fist before he sighed he looked up with tears still in his eyes and said?
> 
> The End
> 
> Mhuhahahahahaha Cliff Hanger lucky for you though that was a joke."_


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 19, 2012)

Yo, Whirlpool, there's a Multiquote button for a reason...

My reaction was more


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 19, 2012)

> "Stop making a scene" Kakashi whispered in a low down he said looking over at Zabuza who had tears running down his face.
> 
> "Kid" he said "your words hurt more than any blade wound can I borrow your Kunai knife."



W-What? Does anybody understand this?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 19, 2012)

Was he referring to Kakashi as the kid or...?

.............................


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Was he referring to Kakashi as the kid or...?
> 
> .............................



And what the hell is up with kunai knife? What's next katana sword?


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 19, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Found a script form story.
> 
> 
> 
> It stops with the script writing after a few chapters but I couldn't read it regardless.



That was awful. I couldn't read it at all. And the fact that the text was positioned in the center made it worse!



Tomcat171 said:


> Check out this most awesome fic evaaaaaarrrrr:
> 
> _"When Naruto finally stopped laughing he noticed that Haku's hands were tightened into to fist before he sighed he looked up with tears still in his eyes and said…
> 
> ...





WTF was I reading?

The story got some good reviews, surprisingly.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Yo, Whirlpool, there's a Multiquote button for a reason...



I usually reply, and when i'm done replying i want to reply again after reading smething two seconds afterwards


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 19, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> The story got some good reviews, surprisingly.


Because people who review positively to things like that don't have a sense of quality assurance...or intelligence.



Whirlpool said:


> I usually reply, and when i'm done replying i want to reply again after reading smething two seconds afterwards


Then you should copy the post in quote tags and just edit your original post, simple logic.  Trip posts will get mods annoyed.


----------



## TekJounin (Jan 19, 2012)

yes, yes they will.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 21, 2012)

Tomcat171 you're gonna _looooove_ this one.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 21, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Because people who review positively to things like that don't have a sense of quality assurance...or intelligence.
> 
> 
> Then you should copy the post in quote tags and just edit your original post, simple logic.  Trip posts will* get mods annoyed*.



Come at me fuckers


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 21, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Tomcat171 you're gonna _looooove_ this one.



I don't get the summary. 

They're going to 'trick' Ino into liking him??? What are they going to do, tell her he's someone else? His evil twin maybe? 

And what does the author mean by 'busted'? Are they going to kill him if he fails or something?


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 22, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> I don't get the summary.
> 
> They're going to 'trick' Ino into liking him??? What are they going to do, tell her he's someone else? His evil twin maybe?
> 
> And what does the author mean by 'busted'? Are they going to kill him if he fails or something?



I dunno. I read it and I couldn't make much sense out of it. The dialouge was bunched together so sometimes you couldn't tell who was talking.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 22, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Tomcat171 you're gonna _looooove_ this one.


Funnily enough, I don't like it.

1. It's K+, so there won't be any smex.
2. The grammar and structuring is baaaaad.
3. I may be a NI ^ (not the meaning of the word "respect".), but I have standards for even their fics. If anything, it's NI fics that I end up scrutinising the most. And if I don't get what I want, I just write it myself 



Whirlpool said:


> Come at me fuckers


TekJounin gonna have your ass.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 22, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> 1. It's K+, so there won't be any smex.
> .



This is why i stay far away from K+


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 22, 2012)

Oh, look! This is the latest K+ Naruto story on FF. And it's by that guy who wrote the Hooters fic.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 22, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Oh, look! This is the latest K+ Naruto story on FF. And it's by that guy who wrote the Hooters fic.


That's horrendous :rofl

The cupids are called Steve and Austin, are they? Don't need to look any further to know this author likes something stone cold. Still, that's awful. Idiot can't even spell 'Uzumaki'.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 22, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Oh, look! This is the latest K+ Naruto story on FF. And it's by that guy who wrote the Hooters fic.



yeah that fic sucks


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 22, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> That's horrendous :rofl
> 
> The cupids are called Steve and Austin, are they? Don't need to look any further to know this author likes something stone cold. Still, that's awful. Idiot can't even spell 'Uzumaki'.


 
Uzamaki Naruto ftw! 




Whirlpool said:


> yeah that fic sucks


 
Some of the reviews for that story:

*I love it.. But you need to be a little more clear with the English.. Just some misspellings here and there but no biggy it's a really nice story*
Did you really love that story? At least you're being sensible about the english...

*update plz*



*I like it I love it IT is the best story about naruto!*
O rly?


----------



## TekJounin (Jan 22, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Uzamaki Naruto ftw!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Even crappy writers have friends who will lie for them.  I wonder how diligent FF.net is about culling dupe accounts?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 22, 2012)

New 'bad summary' update:

"the girls are sick of Konoha and head for Akatsuki how will the boys react. Sasusaku Naruhina Shikaino Nejiten."

Oooh, this is gunna bee urmayzeeng....


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 23, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> New 'bad summary' update:
> 
> "the girls are sick of Konoha and head for Akatsuki how will the boys react. Sasusaku Naruhina Shikaino Nejiten."
> 
> Oooh, this is gunna bee urmayzeeng....



Sakura: Hey the boys just insulted us, lets join a group dedicated to taking over the world and killing naruto

Girls: OK! It's not like Naruto took much worse abuse 

I cringed at when Naruto asked Hinata how was she so strong and she replies

"I was always this string your just too dumb to notice"

She was always kage-level?


----------



## Spock (Jan 23, 2012)

> Hn.





Where the fuck did it come from.




Whirlpool said:


> Sakura: Hey the boys just insulted us, lets join a group dedicated to taking over the world and killing naruto
> 
> Girls: OK! It's not like Naruto took much worse abuse
> 
> ...


HAHAHAHHHA

Here comes the S.H.I.T. XDD those just gets on my nerves.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 23, 2012)

I hate how in some fics, Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Neji are BFFs and are with each other constantly, and they never hang out in canon


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 23, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I hate how in some fics, Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Neji are BFFs and are with each other constantly, and they never hang out in canon



Found what you're talking about but from Bleach. 

*Stry 1- Kurasaki brothers Ichigo, Shiro, Ulquirra, Toshiro, and Grimmjow enter Karakura High and meet... Read on to find out I guess...*


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 23, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Just wondering, has anybody ever run into the guy that can't seem to call Naruto just by his name, instead just calling him Naruto Namikaze ALL the time and talking about how great Minato is?



I think I got 'im!


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 23, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I think I got 'im!



I think that's him!


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 23, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Found what you're talking about but from Bleach.
> 
> *Stry 1- Kurasaki brothers Ichigo, Shiro, Ulquirra, Toshiro, and Grimmjow enter Karakura High and meet... Read on to find out I guess...*



Why would Grimmjow even allow Toshiro to hang out with him


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 23, 2012)

Fics that Put Naruto and Hinata in the same team


----------



## Spock (Jan 23, 2012)

Going to the last search page, find awesome un-updated fic.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Jan 23, 2012)

or going through pages of summaries and finding summaries that hint at nothing but cringe-worthy grammar, Mary Sues, and terribly written fanfics in general.  

Yeah, non-updaters are a pet peeve, too.


----------



## Primavera (Jan 23, 2012)

^ Same here. Especially when you decide to read a fic that they've been updating regularly, deciding that it's probably safe, then they suddenly drop off the face of the Internet.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 24, 2012)

Whirlpool, the edit button is your friend. Use it.

Anyway:



> it's my first story , please tell me what you like about it /


How about using that space reserved for this thing called a 'summary' to actually give us a summary of your story? I don't care if it's your tenth story, I just want to know what it's about!



> Simply from a small sealing change...a legend would be born. Watch as Naruto became...the wielder of the greatest Zanpakuto... 'Roar for me...Kyuubi' - NarutoxHarem, Living Kushina Strong/Cunning/Smart Naruto


Watch out, Gary Stu and unnecessary ellipses inbound.



> Sasori and Itachi go slave shopping. Sasori chooses his and this is the story of the chaos that ensues. SasoDei, Future KisaIta, Possible PeinKonan and KakuHida


Wha...I...it's just......


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Whirlpool, the edit button is your friend. Use it.



What do i need to edit


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 24, 2012)

Does anyone else get annoyed by authors who *USE BOLD AND CAPS LOCKS* every time someone shouts. Are they reaaaaaaalllyyy shouting like that? I can understand for Kyuubi's voice somewhat cause he's supposed to be menacing.


----------



## Spock (Jan 25, 2012)

insert random Japanese phrases aside from the honorifics that gets on my nerve


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 25, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> What do i need to edit


You DP'd when you could have easily edited the first post.

On the 'awesome' summary front:



> naruto has a combo blood line for some reason nd has turned slightly emo or disregards his life for many years... 1 week before graduation that changes... naru/hin DUH and naruto has a new "i don't give a shit" look



Seriously? Then again, it's a NaruHina, so I wouldn't expect anything better...


----------



## Spock (Jan 25, 2012)

Americanized fics *IN * the Naruto Ninja universe.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 25, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Seriously? Then again, it's a NaruHina, so I wouldn't expect anything better...



Yeah it's like....

why are they all so bad


----------



## Spock (Jan 25, 2012)

I think the worst fics out there are SasuSaku  They make Sasuke totally sensitive towards Sakura and Sakura always plays-hard-to-get. WTF


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 25, 2012)

Eli said:


> I think the worst fics out there are SasuSaku  They make Sasuke totally sensitive towards Sakura and Sakura always plays-hard-to-get. WTF



They're the worst!

Sakura walked into the room and saw a crowd of girls around some duck-butt. She saw a red-headed slut with glasses hanging on his annoyed arm

'He's not that great' Sakura thought

SMH, If it were normal, Sakura would be fighting this 'red-headed slut with glasses' for the trophy of hanging on his 'annoyed right arm'


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 25, 2012)

...........



Clich?.



> They're the worst!
> 
> Sakura walked into the room and saw a crowd of girls around some duck-butt. She saw a red-headed slut with glasses hanging on his annoyed arm
> 
> ...


----------



## Spock (Jan 25, 2012)

> for the trophy of hanging on his 'annoyed right arm'



HAHAHAHAHAH! 

Dont you guys hate when Sasuke is accepted back in the village like he didn't cause misery and despair?


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 26, 2012)

I'd love to see his aunt. 

And how can you bash Kakashi?  I hate all the honorifics in these fics. Chan, san, kun, etc.



> HAHAHAHAHAH!
> 
> Dont you guys hate when Sasuke is accepted back in the village like he didn't cause misery and despair?



I just avoid fics with Sasuke in it.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 26, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I just avoid fics with Sasuke in it.


I'll read them when Sauce is a dickhead and a general dislikeable antagonist, otherwise I tend to steer clear or just ignore whatever small spot he may have in other fics.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Jan 27, 2012)

I wrote a fanfic for the first time in ages and realized after I finished that half of the names of locations (eg Konoha) were in Japanese and the other half were in English.  I was trying to make a point of keeping everything except for the honorifics in English because I was posting this in a fanfic in the non(insert fandom here) section of a forum of a non-anime fandom.


----------



## Spock (Jan 27, 2012)

I think there's a difference when you translate the name of a Japanese location into English rather than have London 50 kilometers away from Konoha.


----------



## butcher50 (Jan 27, 2012)

misleading and corny sounding summaries.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 28, 2012)

I came upon a fic that had a standard summary and I said, "hey, why not? I'll give this a try." 

It wasn't until I read the first sentences that I found it to be a highschool fic in disguise, I feel so betrayed now.

In a totally different note, to those of you that write. How the hell do you manage to keep your interest? I just started writing and I already feel like stopping.


----------



## TekJounin (Jan 28, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> I came upon a fic that had a standard summary and I said, "hey, why not? I'll give this a try."
> 
> It wasn't until I read the first sentences that I found it to be a highschool fic in disguise, I feel so betrayed now.
> 
> In a totally different note, to those of you that write. How the hell do you manage to keep your interest? I just started writing and I already feel like stopping.



It takes a bit of work.  You need to take your plot bunny and dissect it, making notes, then describe it for your readers.  If you know where you want to end up, you can work backward from there.  An outline is pretty important if you want to maintain consistency and maintain pacing.  Make notes of things random thoughts that occur to you and craft them into the story as you write.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 28, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> It takes a bit of work.  You need to take your plot bunny and dissect it, making notes, then describe it for your readers.  If you know where you want to end up, you can work backward from there.  An outline is pretty important if you want to maintain consistency and maintain pacing.  Make notes of things random thoughts that occur to you and craft them into the story as you write.



Well, my story is a parody which means that I won't be caring about the plot much but the thing I have trouble with is keeping the comedy consistent.

I do think that writing down some thoughts would help, I'm always glued to my phone anyway; but the only thing I have a problem with is that I'm not what you call a 'motivated' person. I want to _want_ to write, not think of it as a chore.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 28, 2012)

Basically a fic about bad fanfics


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 28, 2012)

Now they insult the reader in summaries?  That "duh" was unneccesary. 

And that story was awful. On a seperate note, FF.Net says they're cutting back on spammers! 



			
				The Jeffrey said:
			
		

> Well, my story is a parody which means that I won't be caring about the plot much but the thing I have trouble with is keeping the comedy consistent.
> 
> I do think that writing down some thoughts would help, I'm always glued to my phone anyway; but the only thing I have a problem with is that I'm not what you call a 'motivated' person. I want to want to write, not think of it as a chore.



Hmmmm. Well, since it's a parody, you can relax a bit. Just don't make it too over the top. As for getting motivation, I hear where you're coming from. I'm trying to start my own story, but I haven't been able to do a single thing. I guess it depends on how much you want to do it.


----------



## Spock (Jan 28, 2012)

Bodygaurds fics who are not supposed to fall in love.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 29, 2012)

butcher50 said:


> misleading and corny sounding summaries.



I once saw a fic called 'Naruto - The elder scrolls'

I was like  and read. It was in fact about old scrolls and not dragons, oblivion gates or khajit liars whatsoever 

Skyrim


----------



## Vermin (Jan 29, 2012)

Character bashing. I can't fucking stand it. I also hate the portrayal of the council like they can overpower the Hokage. Bullshit.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 29, 2012)

Ookyami said:


> Character bashing. I can't fucking stand it. I also hate the portrayal of the council like they can overpower the Hokage. Bullshit.



What about council bashing?  I've seen a lot of those floating around.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 29, 2012)

Council bashing it's pretty popular for some reason. I even read a story in which Minato and Kushina were alive and killed the whole council right in front of a bunch of people.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 29, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Council bashing it's pretty popular for some reason. I even read a story in which Minato and Kushina were alive and killed the whole council right in front of a bunch of people.



I didn't even know there was a council


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 30, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:
			
		

> Council bashing it's pretty popular for some reason. I even read a story in which Minato and Kushina were alive and killed the whole council right in front of a bunch of people.



That's one fic I'll be sure to avoid. 



Whirlpool said:


> I didn't even know there was a council



Remember when Kakashi was about to be Hokage? That's the council, I think.

Can anyone make sense out of this summary?


----------



## The Jeffrey (Jan 30, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Can anyone make sense out of this summary?



Wasn't Minato, well, Minato at the age of 5? 

I read some of the story and came upon an AN...



> AN: *Nice huh?* Well if you want more you better review and please give me ideas! Also this is just a preview of whats really going to happen in the chapter. So review and make sure to favorite and put this on your story alert! See ya later COTWS! OUT!





> *Nice huh?*





> *Nice huh?*


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 30, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> That's one fic I'll be sure to avoid.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



So two people are the council 

I'd love a fic where Naruto finds out his Uzumaki heritage....but he doesn't hav a bloodline  And doesn't change his name to 'Namikaze'

Uzumaki ftw


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 30, 2012)

> Nice huh?


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 30, 2012)

Whirlpool said:
			
		

> So two people are the council







			
				The Jeffrey said:
			
		

> Wasn't Minato, well, Minato at the age of 5?



I think that the guy meant Naruto being five years old and finding out who Minato was.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Jan 30, 2012)

Eli said:


> I think there's a difference when you translate the name of a Japanese location into English rather than have London 50 kilometers away from Konoha.



The very thought of the latter makes me want to puke.  Actually, for me, that depends on how well it's pulled off.  After I went through the story and made sure that all of the hidden village and country names were in English, I realized that the Japanese word 'shinobi' was still in the title lol.


----------



## TekJounin (Jan 30, 2012)

I don't find "shinobi" any better or worse than "ninja."  What else would you call them?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 31, 2012)

One of my biggest peeves? People who positively review something that clearly has no right to be read by human eyes. Those people have less of a brain than the author, IMO. They'd be the people to most likely willingly touch a pile of crap if it smelt like roses.

Another peeve? Yaoi. There seriously seems to be more of it than het fics around. At this moment, under the category of 'completed M-rated fics with only Naruto as a tagged character', 19 out of 25 fics on _the very first page_ are of a goddamn gay coupling (NaruSasu, NaruKiba, NaruGaa, NaruSai and NaruKaka, to be precise). Of the remaining 6 fics, two of them have no second character tag, and the rest are fucking NaruHina.

The more I see NaruHina fics peppered everywhere, the closer I slip to making NaruHina the only NaruFem pairing I hate.


----------



## Whirlpool (Jan 31, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> One of my biggest peeves? People who positively review something that clearly has no right to be read by human eyes. Those people have less of a brain than the author, IMO. They'd be the people to most likely willingly touch a pile of crap if it smelt like roses.
> 
> Another peeve? Yaoi. There seriously seems to be more of it than het fics around. At this moment, under the category of 'completed M-rated fics with only Naruto as a tagged character', 19 out of 25 fics on _the very first page_ are of a goddamn gay coupling (NaruSasu, NaruKiba, NaruGaa, NaruSai and NaruKaka, to be precise). Of the remaining 6 fics, two of them have no second character tag, and the rest are fucking NaruHina.
> 
> The more I see NaruHina fics peppered everywhere, the closer I slip to making NaruHina the only NaruFem pairing I hate.



I dont mind yaoi, but it does take up a lot of the space.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 31, 2012)

It's the clogging up that drives me up the wall...

I'm fine with people writing what they want, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite, but when I see nothing but that crap on every page, that's when I start breaking things.


----------



## Baby Joe (Jan 31, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:
			
		

> Another peeve? Yaoi. There seriously seems to be more of it than het fics around. At this moment, under the category of 'completed M-rated fics with only Naruto as a tagged character', 19 out of 25 fics on the very first page are of a goddamn gay coupling (NaruSasu, NaruKiba, NaruGaa, NaruSai and NaruKaka, to be precise). Of the remaining 6 fics, two of them have no second character tag, and the rest are fucking NaruHina.







			
				TekJounin said:
			
		

> I don't find "shinobi" any better or worse than "ninja." What else would you call them?



Yeah. It doesn't really matter if you call them "shinobi" or "ninja". Even the Viz translation of Naruto uses the word "shinobi" a lot.

One of my peeves is these OCs (self-inserts) that find themselves in the Akatsuki or when the Akatsuki happen to find themselves in our world. Or when the Akatsuki turn into cats. Or when the Akatsuki find a baby. Get my drift?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Jan 31, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Or when the Akatsuki turn into cats.


How many times has this been mentioned here now?


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Jan 31, 2012)

People who use "kami" instead of God. Not as a character but in expersions.

"Thank Kami."
"You Kami damned bastard."
"May Kami have mercy on us all."
"For Kami's sake"


----------



## Primavera (Jan 31, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> One of my peeves is these OCs (self-inserts) that find themselves in the Akatsuki or when the Akatsuki happen to find themselves in our world. Or when the Akatsuki turn into cats. Or when the Akatsuki find a baby. Get my drift?


Ugh, same here. Those Akatsuki self-insert fics are really prevalent in the Itachi and Deidara tags. It's annoying when I'm trying to find a good yaoi fanfic and only find ones about desperate fangirls.

And the cats thing is just stupid.



Wang Yuanji said:


> People who use "kami" instead of God. Not as a character but in expersions.
> 
> "Thank Kami."
> "You Kami damned bastard."
> ...


THIS.


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 1, 2012)

Wang Yuanji said:
			
		

> "You Kami damned bastard."





Another thing that irritates me has to do with reviewers. I hate the reviewers who sign their name after reviews. It's a small, but annoying thing.






  

There are so many things wrong with this summary.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Feb 2, 2012)

The grammar in the above summary alone screams "DO NOT READ".

Yes, it's seeing entire pages of garbage summaries like that that makes me want to puke.

I don't mind yaoi and I don't mind NaruHina, if they're well-written.  Unfortunately, that's not the majority of the fics under those categories.


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Feb 2, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Another thing that irritates me has to do with reviewers. I hate the reviewers who sign their name after reviews. It's a small, but annoying thing.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I wonder if he/she happens to be the girl with a beautiful voice.


----------



## dream (Feb 2, 2012)

I've grown to hate stories where Naruto wears a "mask", it's a lame plot device to instantly turn Naruto into a genius without changing any events because Naruto certainly would have grown up differently if he was a genius.


----------



## TeamSenju (Feb 2, 2012)

When they have Naruto constantly calling Sasuke "Hey, teme!"
And then Sasuke replies "What, dobe?" 

People who give Konoha all four seasons. For some reason that bugs me. It has been said in the show that Land of FIRE is warm year 'round.

Lame Japanese. Saying "hai" instead of a simple "okay". Using the whole "chan" and "kun" I can tolerate since that can not be translated otherwise but using every single Japanese word you think you know can get confusing and unnecessarily so for readers.

Most of all, the reviews. Even the so-called "betas" on there refuse to give you genuine critique.

Oh and a lack of yuri. I'm a straight onlygayontheweekends girl who can not stand yaoi. I'd prefer yuri and there is just none of it.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 2, 2012)

I have three main pet peeves with fanfiction;

*1. OCs (self inserts)*

It is rarely ever done well. 9/10 times its being forced down my throat to acknowledge how "awesome" this OC main character is, but in reality it is just another terrible Mary Sue. Don't get me wrong I don't mind a small OC here and there, but when its a main character it is most the time akward and painful since you can feel with every word that the author is inserting themselves as the "cool kid" in the Naruto universe.

*2. When characters are so far out of character that the only thing they have in common is their name.*

When this starts to happen, I stop reading. No matter how far in the story I just can't accept it. It may be harsh but I just can't handle reading anything where (Example) Naruto is smarter than Shikamaru, and talks down to everyone like they're fucking stupid.

*3. Unrealistic/Horrible Love Developments.*

Ex. Sakura: SASUKE KUNNNN! 

     Sasuke: Sakura, you're annoying.

     Sakura: But... I... I love you.

     Sasuke: !?... How can you love a loner like me.

     Sakura: I don't know, it just happened Sasuke-kun.

     Sasuke: ... I'm an avenger at heart Sakura...but just maybe... I can give this "normal life" a try...with you. W-Will you marry me,Sakura?

     Sakura: Do you even have to ask?


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 2, 2012)

It only took about a couple of hours of looking around fics to gain one more peeve. 

What is with all this Naruto stories in which he trains with the most random people and becomes a badass? I don't mind Naruto having different teachers (Hell, I even see it as a breath of fresh air) but when they given him some random fodder Chunin as a teacher... 

It might be interesting for him to have a whole new teacher but they can't expect him to get to fucking Jonin level after training with a random Chunin for a few years. 

I mean, the writer has to get real at some point, right?


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 2, 2012)

TeamSenju said:


> When they have Naruto constantly calling Sasuke "Hey, teme!"
> And then Sasuke replies "What, dobe?"



I didn't even know what a "dobe" was until a few weeks ago.



> People who give Konoha all four seasons. For some reason that bugs me. It has been said in the show that Land of FIRE is warm year 'round.



Eh. I don't see the problem with giving Konoha more seasons.



> Lame Japanese. Saying "hai" instead of a simple "okay". Using the whole "chan" and "kun" I can tolerate since that can not be translated otherwise but using every single Japanese word you think you know can get confusing and unnecessarily so for readers.



I really can't stand when people go deep into the honorifics and start using Japanese like: "'Okay, Oba-san'" or somethin' like that. I read a fic earlier that had a problem with that.



> Oh and a lack of yuri. I'm a straight onlygayontheweekends girl who can not stand yaoi. I'd prefer yuri and there is just none of it.



Didja try the search engine? Just put in two girls' names and switch the thing to romance and see what pops up.



SaishuSoda said:


> I have three main pet peeves with fanfiction;



Let's hear 'em


> *1. OCs (self inserts)*
> 
> It is rarely ever done well. 9/10 times its being forced down my throat to acknowledge how "awesome" this OC main character is, but in reality it is just another terrible Mary Sue. Don't get me wrong I don't mind a small OC here and there, but when its a main character it is most the time akward and painful since you can feel with every word that the author is inserting themselves as the "cool kid" in the Naruto universe.



I agree completely.



> *2. When characters are so far out of character that the only thing they have in common is their name.*
> When this starts to happen, I stop reading. No matter how far in the story I just can't accept it. It may be harsh but I just can't handle reading anything where (Example) Naruto is smarter than Shikamaru, and talks down to everyone like they're fucking stupid.



Yeah. I hate Smart Naruto. And Dark Naruto. And Serious Naruto. And Powerful Naruto. And God-like Naruto. And all his other incarnations.



> *3. Unrealistic/Horrible Love Developments.*



'Nuff said.



The Jeffrey said:


> I mean, the writer has to get real at some point, right?



They do, but it never happens.

I can't stand these fics where some people (usually the Akatsuki) find themselves in our world or some people (usually an OC) find themselves in Naru-Land. I mean, c'mon! If they're going to be AU, then make it AU. If you're going to make your OC hang with the Naruto crew in Naru-Land....then don't write the fic!

But, honestly, this world traveling thing irks me.


----------



## TeamSenju (Feb 2, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I didn't even know what a "dobe" was until a few weeks ago.
> 
> Eh. I don't see the problem with giving Konoha more seasons.



Apparently "dobe" was used once in the series and for some reasons a lot of people use it in fanfics.

As for the seasons I agree it's not a big deal in the least. I never point it out in reviews I leave so it's just a weird thing that I realize is completely weird.


----------



## Wang Yuanji (Feb 4, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> *3. Unrealistic/Horrible Love Developments.*



This. Especially Harems where every girl in the universe falls for the protaganist. How unrealistic is that?

A love triangle is one thing. Happens in real life. When I see

Naru/Saku/Hina/Ino/Ten/Tema/Tayu/Kin/Zaku/Tsun/Shiz/Kure/Anko I go insane


----------



## NoxiousNerdgasms (Feb 5, 2012)

I like how some fanfics turn out to be like a cliche disney princess movie where whatever couple would fall in love with each other at first sight... or in the duration of one night~
*sarcasm of course*


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 7, 2012)

Wang Yuanji said:


> This. Especially Harems where every girl in the universe falls for the protaganist. How unrealistic is that?
> 
> A love triangle is one thing. Happens in real life. When I see
> 
> Naru/Saku/Hina/Ino/Ten/Tema/Tayu/Kin/*Zaku*/Tsun/Shiz/Kure/Anko I go insane



 Zaku? What's he doin' there?

Another story with a stupid summary:


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 7, 2012)

Wang Yuanji said:


> This. Especially Harems where every girl in the universe falls for the protaganist. How unrealistic is that?
> 
> A love triangle is one thing. Happens in real life. When I see
> 
> Naru/Saku/Hina/Ino/Ten/Tema/Tayu/Kin/Tsun/Shiz/Kure/Anko I go insane


Then I advise you stay a galaxy's diameter away from 'Eroninja' at all times 

There's a new girl added every chapter (or more than one on rare occasions).....and there's now 22 chapters....


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 7, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Then I advise you stay a galaxy's diameter away from 'Eroninja' at all times
> 
> There's a new girl added every chapter (or more than one on rare occasions).....and there's now 22 chapters....





It's been recently updated. tsunami this time


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 7, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Then I advise you stay a galaxy's diameter away from 'Eroninja' at all times
> 
> There's a new girl added every chapter (or more than one on rare occasions).....and there's now 22 chapters....



But isn't Eroninja just smut? 

I think that he was talking about stories that have a 'serious' plot and the protagonist ends up with more than 3 girls. Unlike smut that needs a flat plot to have the protagonist end up with a bunch of girls. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



Not that that's bad since I'm pretty sure we don't read smut for the story.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 7, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> But isn't Eroninja just smut?
> 
> I think that he was talking about stories that have a 'serious' plot and the protagonist ends up with more than 3 girls. Unlike smut that needs a flat plot to have the protagonist end up with a bunch of girls.
> 
> ...



'Just smut'?

You say that like its a bad thing


----------



## Spooky_Bunny (Feb 7, 2012)

My biggest is when the story has only two paragraph splits. One after the first author note and one before the last author note. Alternative universe fics and self inserting is annoying too.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 7, 2012)

"A big box is mysteriously dropped off at my door and addressed to me, the only problem is that in the box are the sand siblings, the former rookie nine, their sensei, Sai, Team Gai, and the Akatsuki and they're all 6 inch chibis! Rated T for language"


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 7, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> 'Just smut'?
> 
> You say that like its a bad thing



Did you read my spoiler? 

Besides, smut >>>>>>>> other stories.


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 7, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> "A big box is mysteriously dropped off at my door and addressed to me, the only problem is that in the box are the sand siblings, the former rookie nine, their sensei, Sai, Team Gai, and the Akatsuki and they're all 6 inch chibis! Rated T for language"



Sounds like fun!


----------



## Spooky_Bunny (Feb 7, 2012)

> "A big box is mysteriously dropped off at my door and addressed to me, the only problem is that in the box are the sand siblings, the former rookie nine, their sensei, Sai, Team Gai, and the Akatsuki and they're all 6 inch chibis! Rated T for language"



Oh...wow....


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 7, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> "A big box is mysteriously dropped off at my door and addressed to me, the only problem is that in the box are the sand siblings, the former rookie nine, their sensei, Sai, Team Gai, and the Akatsuki and they're all 6 inch chibis! Rated T for language"



I freaking busted out laughing when reading this.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 7, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Did you read my spoiler?
> 
> Besides, smut >>>>>>>> other stories.



 I missed it

Nice


----------



## KyuubiNoKitsune (Feb 7, 2012)

Sakura bashing. Just because I like SasuNaru doesn't mean I hate sakura. Sakura bashing get annoying after a while


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 7, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> It's been recently updated. tsunami this time


I know, that's why I said '22 chapters'. SMH.



The Jeffrey said:


> But isn't Eroninja just smut?
> 
> I think that he was talking about stories that have a 'serious' plot and the protagonist ends up with more than 3 girls. Unlike smut that needs a flat plot to have the protagonist end up with a bunch of girls.
> 
> ...


He's tried all the best to integrate story and smut, but everything went wrong the moment bijuus were jumping into new human bodies. Besides, the whole 'plot' revolves around the fact that a lot of the women Naruto gets with are simply brainwashed. Not exactly sound footing from an ethical standpoint.

But as a whole, yes, serious fics with more than one woman aren't really viable anymore.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Feb 8, 2012)

Character bashing is annoying.  Just because I don't like a character doesn't mean I want to see them bashed.  On the contrary, I want to see them depicted in a realistic manner.


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 9, 2012)

What the hell is this?


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 9, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> What the hell is this?




I actually read the entire thing out of curosity...

Not a good move on my part.

It got weird really fast. I'd say around the time they shop for flexible diapers and baby powder so the _adults_ wearing them don't get rashes.

To each their own I guess.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 9, 2012)

^ 
Wow, can't believe you actually read that.



Baby Joe said:


> What the hell is this?



What the hell is this? 

I'm not going to read it since I'm all out of any alcoholic beverages... and I'm also sure that it will make me want to shoot myself.


----------



## Nymph Goddess (Feb 9, 2012)

My Pet Peeves most of these have probably been said but here is my .02cents

-Multiple spelling mistakes - It only takes a minute to use the goddamn spellchecker really. Also constantly misspelling character names and locations wrong. Especially when someone writes a character's name five different ways. (I shit you not, I come across fics where a person kept spelling Tsunade: Tsuede, Tsunede, and Tsuneda...yea not once was it spelled right. When in doubt, use GOOGLE it may save your life!

-Multiple mismatched wording, like having 'Lets' instead of 'That's', They instead of There or Their, Drew instead of Draw or Threw or Through or Thought or Thorough or Throw. Also constantly spelling women when it should be woman and vice versa, the same applies for getting he and she mixed up. Also reading a sentence that IS missing a word. 

-Proper Capitalization, it shouldn't kill someone to reach over their keyboard with their freaking pinky finger to hold the SHIFT key to capitalize a LETTER. 

No use of quotation marks...I just...argh! I can't distinguish between a character speaking and not speaking without either '' or "" 

Unable to tell if a character is speaking or thinking, without the use of '', "", or _Italics_.

Constant switching between Narratives  : An author is either going to do 1st person point of view or 3rd person point of view, nevermind the 2nd narrative.

This is an example:* I* was walking down the street, with *her* head raised to sky because *I* suddenly felt droplets of rain fall to *her* face. *She* was startled by the feeling and then *I* wished *I* brought my umbrella with me that day. *cringes from just writing that*

Rushed story telling, where all you get is

Character a "speaking"

Character b "speaking"

And a little sentence or two that's suppose to describe everything going on in one chapter...okay 3_3

Constant repetition of the same word, sentence, or oddly worded metaphors and similes that don't make sense and make whatever is being described come out sounding just WTF.

Look I ain't looking for no overly drawn out fic with too many details that's just as bad, but people can take their time to actually put in more effort in giving good descriptions of the world and the characters.

Harem stories that:

MUST have all the girls that are listed to be in the harem only having eyes for the one guy, completely disregarding the other male cast, if there are other males in the cast of the particular series.

If male characters are mentioned, they tend to end up being assholes for some unexplained or wholly OOC half assed reason for the girls to hook up and fall in love (usually very quickly and without any real reasoning)with the intended guy in the story just to get to the lemon. Because most badly done harem fics go this route.

Also making the *unrealistic* assumption that the six or god forbid twenty something women in this harem are all a-OKAY with sharing the one guy who is just as unrealistically unable to deal with the REAL stress of providing and caring for these women. I'm not even going to go into the fact that characters are not even given enough development for most of the harem stories to even work out.

OOCness to the third degree! Unless it's meant to be for a purpose. Or for mock fics.

OC's that overtake the goddamn plot!

Badly done OC/X-character pairings.

Horribly done self-inserts

Stories in which the characters quickly fall in love

Extreme character bashing

fics that mislead you into thinking you are going to read about a certain pairing only for it to end up being about another one...and most likely one you hate 

Getting reviews, while appreciated is quite WTFish when someone gets a review from a person, who, having read an obvious story about a pairing that they don't like and MUST tell the writer they don't then follow it up with: it's a good story...I really can care whether you don't support the pairing or not or your life story if you're the type that feel they must let me know about it. Look if the story is good say so, if you can't enjoy it because it's X/X pairing just don't bother to review at all. *eye rolls*

Also reviewers who think they MUST tell you what pairing to write about or what NOT to write about. GTFO plz.

Reviews that just outright flame you and not the story.


----------



## mstee (Feb 9, 2012)

I hate it when people do the stereotypes for the character and not even bother to put a little twist to it. Also, I hate 2nd person narratives unless they're really, _really_ good.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 10, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> ^
> Wow, can't believe you actually read that.
> 
> What the hell is this?
> ...



Believe me, that urge is _guaranteed._

By far some of the most awkard and bizarre shit I have ever read in any fanfiction. There was nothing that could prepare me for a disturbingly detailed description of 14 year old Hinata casually getting her 'diaper' changed by Kurenai to give her experience at being a mother. Nor could anything prepare me for the OCs' organization that might as well been led by Pedo Bear himself.

*Needless to say, I needed alot of mindsoap afterwards.*

Again, to each their own.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 13, 2012)

mstee said:


> I hate it when people do the stereotypes for the character and not even bother to put a little twist to it. Also, I hate 2nd person narratives unless they're really, _really_ good.



Shikamaru: Troublesome..

Sasuke: Hn

Naruto: BELIVE IT RAMEN

Hinata:....wh-wha-what-t-the-f-fuck ho?

SakuraMGNARUTOYOUSUCKASSLOLSHANNARO..SASUUKE-KUUN

Tell me about it


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 13, 2012)

At the end of this story, the author SWEARS that her main character isn't a Mary Sue.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 14, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> At the end of this story, the author SWEARS that her main character isn't a Mary Sue.



I know this is bleach...but 

'Ichigo feels a sharp pain in his chest. Rukia offers to find the problem. Turns out its a girl. A girl from America. She posseses every power Ichigo has including his hollow. How and why does she have his powers? Please, iam so sorry full summary inside!'

It's an IchiRuki, but her OC is Ichigos soulmate, who is also from America, the same country the author lives in. And shes stronger than Ichigo

I guess it isn't a self-insert though


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 14, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> At the end of this story, the author SWEARS that her main character isn't a Mary Sue.


Perfect example of my hate.

*Spoiler*: __ 





SaishuSoda said:


> I have three main pet peeves with fanfiction;
> *1. OCs (self inserts)*
> 
> It is rarely ever done well. 9/10 times its being forced down my throat to acknowledge how "awesome" this OC main character is, but in reality it is just another terrible Mary Sue. Don't get me wrong I don't mind a small OC here and there, but when its a main character it is most the time akward and painful since you can feel with every word that the author is inserting themselves as the "cool kid" in the Naruto universe.





Honestly I'm sure IC Raikage or any of the kages for that matter, would have bitch-slapped that Mary Sue Oc around her second sentence.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 14, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Perfect example of my hate.
> 
> Honestly I'm sure IC Raikage or any of the kages for that matter, would have bitch-slapped that Mary Sue Oc around her the second sentence.



Read the reviews, i said that


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 14, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Read the reviews, i said that





> She's totally a mary-sue. The five kages should just bitch slap her and tell her to gtfo


Found it.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 14, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Found it.



I would laugh hysterically if my review actually happened.

Kokukage or whatever: Madara-chan, put them under my mary-sue genjutsu

Madara: ....what? No.

*Raikage v2 speed bitchslaps her to the door*

*Onoki points towards ame* "Get the fuck out"

Me: 

EDIT: She deleted it 

My one review broke her will and made her delete it, i should get a medal or something


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 14, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I would laugh hysterically if my review actually happened.
> 
> Kokukage or whatever: Madara-chan, put them under my mary-sue genjutsu
> 
> ...



I approve of this development. 



> EDIT: She deleted it
> 
> My one review broke her will and made her delete it, i should get a medal or something


Mary Sue elimination confirmed.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 15, 2012)

'Kit'

Seriously what the fuck?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 15, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> 'Kit'
> 
> Seriously what the fuck?


Tsundere Kyuubi motherly love obviously 

And now:


> She'll never get to see her 'W'-kun again; all the time she being watching him closely[...]and her favorite time, watching him take a bath… *yes readers 'X' is just as perverted as 'Y' and more of a stalker than 'Z', bad combination.* She stayed crying for hours until she finally cried herself to sleep.


For the love of God, do not break the fourth wall mid-paragraph for no fucking reason, especially when it's a fic someone is supposed to take seriously. For satirical and humour fics, I can understand it, but this is appalling.

Don't even get me started on the grammar


----------



## Spock (Feb 16, 2012)

^ I fucking second that.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 17, 2012)

WTF did I just read? FUUU~ this thread has me in shits and giggles. My early fics don't seem soo bad now.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 17, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> WTF did I just read? FUUU~ this thread has me in shits and giggles. My early fics don't seem soo bad now.



If you think that's bad then  

Read one story and I guarantee that you will feel, hear, smell and taste your brain throwing up.


----------



## South of Hell (Feb 17, 2012)

Bashing, blatant yaoi, non-asshole kyuubii, replay of the kyuubii attack if the outcome is practically the same, non-justified ooc, Naru-Hina (The archived are over saturated with this shit).


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 18, 2012)

Went to go read some Akatsuki centric fanfiction and found a new pet peeve.

The common portayal of Akatsuki in fanfiction. Also sickeningly obvious self-inserts that become part of the Akatsuki for no reason at all. 







Honestly, WTF is this shit? :sanji


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 18, 2012)

South of Hell said:


> *non-asshole kyuubii*



This is starting to become canon.




SaishuSoda said:


> Went to go read some Akatsuki centric fanfiction and found a new pet peeve.
> 
> The common portayal of Akatsuki in fanfiction. Also sickeningly obvious self-inserts that become part of the Akatsuki for no reason at all.
> 
> ...



First one's a self-insert and the second one is another one of those cat stories.  I guess that self-inserts will always exist, but can people STOP with the cat stories? Why don't they ever turn into dogs or wolves-oh wait! That's DeviantArt's schtick. 

That last one's summary sounded like a parody or something. But, I don't like all that drug use, child abuse, and rape stuff. I guess I can add that as another one of my peeves.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Feb 18, 2012)

Haven't read Naruto fanfiction in a while, but I remember some stuff I highly disliked:
- Good Sauce
- Sakura bashing
- OC self-insert
- Real world AU
- Tsundere Kyuubi
- OOC
- NaruJesus and random power-ups 

That's all I can think of right now...


----------



## South of Hell (Feb 18, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> This is starting to become canon.



It's why I prefer fanfiction. Because the premise of 100 meter tall fox capable of unprecedented power who actually likes causing destruction submitting to a teenager is ludacris. I much prefer the fics where Kyuubii only cares about freedom and is willing to fuck over everyone to get it; creates Drama and the Inner Antagonist situation.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 18, 2012)

Anything by the author .

Fucking marathon single-sentence-paragraphs-with-no-commas-or-punctuation-other-than-periods EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE! Seriously, he'll write a 60-word long paragraph and have NO COMMAS AT ALL. It's just a ridiculously long sentence!

And it's no surprise that SkyMaiden says she likes them, her stuff is just as bloody dull and eye wrenching, except she adds a line break after almost every. Single. SENTENCE.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 18, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Anything by the author .
> 
> Fucking marathon single-sentence-paragraphs-with-no-commas-or-punctuation-other-than-periods EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE! Seriously, he'll write a 60-word long paragraph and have NO COMMAS AT ALL. It's just a ridiculously long sentence!
> 
> And it's no surprise that SkyMaiden says she likes them, her stuff is just as bloody dull and eye wrenching, except she adds a line break after almost every. Single. SENTENCE.



I cant stand wilkins75 or KyuubiGoku

Don't know what the hell to think about pokemaster12


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 18, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Don't know what the hell to think about pokemaster12







 

I can already tell that I won't like these stories.


----------



## Vermin (Feb 18, 2012)

Here we go as if I didn't hate on some stories already :

*Crack Fics: *Why do people do this? I mean what the hell is the point of writing a story where Sasuke is turned into a cat? Does this need any further analysis? All I can say is these fics are ridiculous and downright annoying to scroll through. I can understand that some people may write them to be funny or something, but when they write it in a serious tone and I see that it has more reviews than my own story which I actually tried to put effort into writing...I just don't know what to say. These stories are a complete waste of time and space in my opinion.

*Excessive Character Bashing:* I am fairly guilty when it comes to this rant, but It is worth mentioning. A lot of fics will completely bash Team 7 or the village council...Now I'm not going to give anybody shit for doing this because I've done it myself on multiple occasions and most of the stories I read have character bashing in them. The main thing I wanted to mention here is don't bash things without a good reason. I don't want to be a hypocrite or anything, but bashing doesn't work well unless it has a valid reason.

*Truth or Dare Fics:* For the love of all things holy I am sick of looking through the new stories and updates, only to find a bunch of stories about the kunoichi having a sleepover that the boys decide to crash, or the Naruto gang playing a game of truth or dare. And people wonder why I have so much against fangirls. If you are going to write a story, try to think up something with a plot and action, romance, or both, not a crappy sleepover story. To add to this...what is the point of even writing one of these? I mean you have got to be insanely bored for something like this to even cross your mind.

*The Drunk Hater/Village Mobs:* This is the stereotypical image of the drunk guy who calls Naruto a demon brat in most stories and nearly beats him to death. These are okay in some stories, but it is WAY TOO OVERDONE! I mean it is simply ridiculous if you think about it...a lot of these stories will have mobs of people stab, beat, and mutilate little six year old Naruto...For the love of god!!! What's even worse is when Naruto is rescued by some mysterious Super OC...which brings me to my next rant.

*Super OC: *Nobody knows who the fuck this guy is...but he's apparently friends with everybody from Akatsuki, the third Hokage, and some other important people. The Super OC is the character that normally tends to rescue Naruto and train him from a young age to become strong...often from the Drunk Hater/Village Mob. He is the most powerful character in the entire story and has the strength to battle five kages and all of Akatsuki simultaneously...I don't mind having a powerful OC character in a story, but when he's more powerful than anybody in the entire Naruto universe, then what the hell would be the point of him training Naruto??! Super OC also seems to know everything about every villain in the story too but he doesn't do shit about it...now if Super OC is a bad guy then I can understand, but in most cases he is just a veiled self-inserted image the author wishes he could be. My favorite part is when Super OC is gets his own Harem...WTF!?! This is the ultimate form of a guy's vicarious fantasy. Super OC is also another cliche plot element that is completely over used...and to be quite honest I am tired of seeing.

*Somebody besides Naruto has Kyuubi sealed within them:* Go fuck yourself sideways up the ass for this one...I mean that completely destroys Naruto's character. When I see Kyuubi put into somebody like Sasuke or an OC I just want to shoot the author with my 357 revolver...I mean what the fuck are you thinking?!?! First of all, I see absolutely no reason why Sasuke would need Kyuubi seeing as how he's pretty much powerful enough with his brother's eyes...I mean that is just ridiculous. I ask myself why anybody would consider this but then it hits me...I know why because some little teenage fangirl thinks Sasuke is cute. And here we go again with the OC getting Kyuubi...this is another form of Self-insertion so some fangirl/fanboy can vicariously live out their fantasies by being the main character in their Naruto Fanfic. *SIGH* I don't have anything else to say about this...

*Self Insertion Fics: *Does this even need an explanation?! They all suck and I hate them. Nobody wants to read about how you get sucked into the Naruto universe and magically become pretty and powerful...Let's see what Sigfried has to say about it...

To fangirls who have written a self insertion…this one is brutal, you might want to avoid it. You've been warned. Anyway, to put it simply, self insertion fics are a load of crap.(and damn it, the name just sounds dirty.) And once again, my blame falls on the fangirls. To try to put this with as much tact as I can manage, The fangirls who write self insertion fics…..well, they are unpopular and most likely not very attractive. In real life, life sucks for them, they want to be pretty and popular, but they're not. It may even go so far as to them being ridiculed by others. So what do they do about it…they decide that writing a self insertion fic will make them feel better. They write a story where they get sucked into the world of their favorite fiction (in this case Naruto) where they are the most beautiful girl that anyone has ever seen and they are incredibly powerful that no one can stand before their might, and all the boys like her, but she chooses whichever is her favorite and writes about how he instantly loves her and her strength and they are both happy together.

Could there possibly be anything worse than this crap you might ask? Why yes there is. When the fangirl gets with a group of her friends in the same boat and write a "3 girls get sucked into the Naruto universe" fic. You take all that was bad about the single fangirl self insertion, and you triple it. So let this message be known here and now: Writing a self insertion fic is not going to make your life any better, go out and do something about it instead of writing a load of crap that nobody wants to read, you are wasting both your time and the time of everyone searching through the load of your crappy self insertion fics to find a story that is actually good.

And with that brutally said, it is time to write the majority of self insertion fics. Once there was a girl named (insert name here). She lived an unhappy life in the real world. She was homely and unpopular. She so wanted to be pretty and popular. She only had two friends, and these friends were just like her. One day, the three of them went to her house and while they were watching Naruto, they were magically sucked into the T.V. and transported into the world of Naruto.

_"Hey, where are we?"

"I think that we are in the world of Naruto."

"Wow, we have suddenly gotten really strong. Look, I already know how to use just about every jutsu."

"Hey your right, we already know all of the jutsu."

"…OMG, LOOK GUYS, WE'RE PRETTY NOW!"

"Your right."

Suddenly, (insert the favorite boys of the authoresses) appears in the clearing in which they have landed.

"Wow, that girl sure is beautiful and strong."

"So is that one."

"I think that we are all suddenly in love with these strange girls who have just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They can't be spies or anything, so lets take them back to become Konoha ninjas."

Girls : "Hooray!"

And so the girls followed their favorite male ninjas back to Konoha. In the following week, they would kill Orochimaru and all of the Akatsuki members with their incredible innate power upon arriving in the Naruto world, because obviously when they were pulled through their T.V., they gain power that all of the real ninja spend their whole life perfecting, but that doesn't matter now does it. Anyway, the ninja that found them profess their newfound love to these complete strangers and the girls say that they love them in return. The girls are much happier in this load of crap fantasy than the real world, so they never search for a way back, they just live out their days as the "beautiful goddesses of the Naruto world."
_
The End.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 18, 2012)

It's basically about Naruto who travels the world and shit. He was saved by Mikoto Uchiha one day from a 'beating' and since then is like a son. He comes home to find Mikoto (As well as the Uchiha clan) dead. He's balmed for the murder and Sasuke vows to kill him, so he has to leave. He's a mercenary whos worked for people like Gatou. He's returns under a false name and bangs his sister, hates his father and hates Konoha (sort of)

It has lack of morals and is quite disturbing...

yet highly amusing....


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Feb 19, 2012)

Wilkins75.

At first I liked his/her story The Black Fox, but he/she started overusing the concept way too much, it became annoying and it wasn't even good in The Black Fox.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 19, 2012)

Blazing CobaltX said:


> Wilkins75.
> 
> At first I liked his/her story The Black Fox, but he/she started overusing the concept way too much, it became annoying and it wasn't even good in The Black Fox.



Let's not forget;

"Kyuubi isn't a demon, but a summoning person who has a GF and now for some reason the toads totally ditched me. So i summon demon foxes now and Sakura somehow hates Sasuke and loves me and I am the demon sage even though the toads only have sage mode. Lee bashing Hinata bashing chouji bashing, sasuke bashing danzo bashing and maybe ino bashing"

Every....story

I facepalmed at Shikamaru and Temari learning wolf and weasel sage mode  And Chouji and Ino becoming Jiraiya and Tsunades apprentices


----------



## TekJounin (Feb 19, 2012)

Let's not forget purple prose.  Ever read something that left you feeling like your brain ate crackers and can't whistle anymore?


*Spoiler*: _Example_ 




In the rapturous misty dawn, a figure both lithe and fleet stepped delicately into the verdant and shadowed forest.  The magnificent trees engulfed her and reached gnarled fingers into the vault of heavens' pearly luminescence.  The nascent dawn cast it's rays down and  enveloped the sylph in the sepulchral shadows of the forest titans.  Glistening dew became rare jewels at the feet of the young beauty.




I wrote that and am disappointed that I couldn't find it in myself to overload it sufficiently.  I've read stories that had so many overblown descriptors that I entirely lost track of what the story was about.  And I had to spent rather a lot of time looking up words just to know what the hell was supposed to be going on.


----------



## Haruno Sakura (Feb 19, 2012)

When characters just spout catchphrases over and over. Especially when said catchphrases are insistently written in fangirl Japanese...


----------



## taydev (Feb 19, 2012)

FF stuff I hate:

-*Self insertion*. WTF! This is probably the worst for me. When reading it, it just sounds stupid.  

-*Out of character characters*. I mean, when you do this you've basically created your own character with the names borrowed from the original source. I understand that we're not sure how the characters would act in some situations FF writters create because we may have not seen them in these situations during the manga/anime or whatever show; but when they're WAY OOC, it's just wrong. There is still enough character display from the original source to keep them in line without going totally OOC. The only time I tolerate OOC'ness is for comedic purposes (which is seldom).

-*High school drama FanFic's*. Maybe it's because I'm not in high school anymore, but whatever -_-

-*AU's*._ Especially_ if it's the very world we live in. I read fiction to get away from the stresses of everyday life. Duh.

-*Bad grammar*. 'Nuff said -_-

-*Original/Outside Characters*. When I read it I'm just thinking, "who da fuck is dis?"


----------



## Spock (Feb 19, 2012)

I love historical AUs.  Not much of them around though...


I avoid all fics which features original characters and addresses them with names potentially hinting they'll have a role in the fic. Yuck.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 19, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> In the rapturous misty dawn, a figure both lithe and fleet stepped delicately into the verdant and shadowed forest.  The magnificent trees engulfed her and reached gnarled fingers into the vault of heavens' pearly luminescence.  The nascent dawn cast it's rays down and enveloped the sylph in the sepulchral shadows of the forest titans.  Glistening dew became rare jewels at the feet of the young beauty.


Translation:
Some thin chick walked into a foggy and sunny forest while the grass beneath her feet was wet.

And before I continue:


TekJounin said:


> ...it's...


So you went to all the trouble of writing all that complexity, and yet you forgot that an apostrophe was not necessary here . Just kidding, we all make that mistake.



I mean, I like to make my sentences nice and descriptive, but I definitely don't go overload on the metaphors. Hell, even what I think of as 'simplistic' in my writing style often gets less-than-positive responses from readers. Seriously, I think a lot of people no longer have a brain.


----------



## taydev (Feb 19, 2012)

For those who say one of their peeves is when an author doesn't update, well maybe something terrible happened to them. Like hospitalization or death. I used to think this way too until I really thought about it LOL. Just sayin'.

Oh and more peeves:

-Most crossovers are lame.

-I cringe at i*c*st of any kind. (Uchihacest & Hyugacest)

-Rape fics

-Sexual situations when the characters are under the age of 16

-I enjoy yaoi only if it's canon in the source and with a good plot. Not just buttsex. Therefore, I hate yaoi/yuri when the characters are obviously HET. 

-Poorly written lemons


----------



## TekJounin (Feb 19, 2012)

taydev said:


> For those who say one of their peeves is when an aurthor doesn't update, well maybe something terrible happened to them. Like hospitalization or death. I used to think this way too until I really thought about it LOL. Just sayin'.



That's always a possibility and I do allow for it.  Some authors are thoughtful enough to update when catastrophic moments keep them from being active.

I think the idea was more for the authors who habitually don't update and leave readers hanging, then come back months later with "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.  I was backpacking on the steppes and met a real Mongol, lol, and it was so crazy cuz then I went to Peru and rode a llama, so sors again and I will try to find out where I left off or if I even feel like finishing this.  I just such a different person, now that I'm an honorary member of the Lake Titicaca Ladies Club and Bowling Team.  If I get time before I head out to scuba dive the Marianas Trench, that is."


----------



## taydev (Feb 20, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> That's always a possibility and I do allow for it.  Some authors are thoughtful enough to update when catastrophic moments keep them from being active.
> 
> I think the idea was more for the authors who habitually don't update and leave readers hanging, then come back months later with "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.  I was backpacking on the steppes and met a real Mongol, lol, and it was so crazy cuz then I went to Peru and rode a llama, so sors again and I will try to find out where I left off or if I even feel like finishing this.  I just such a different person, now that I'm an honorary member of the Lake Titicaca Ladies Club and Bowling Team.  If I get time before I head out to scuba dive the Marianas Trench, that is."



Oh ok


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 20, 2012)

I haven't updated since Janurary, but I don't feel bad...I'm working on it anyways, it's just going slow thanks to school, what can I do?

Which is kinda why I hate ppl who bitch about authors not updating quicker; grades are more important than something you do as a hobby, just saying. It's not like writing fanfic will get you a good job as a writer most likely because you do suck and people who rev are teens with no sense of actual taste. That's my two cents anyways...



Whirlpool said:


> It's basically about Naruto who travels the world and shit. He was saved by Mikoto Uchiha one day from a 'beating' and since then is like a son. He comes home to find Mikoto (As well as the Uchiha clan) dead. He's balmed for the murder and Sasuke vows to kill him, so he has to leave. He's a mercenary whos worked for people like Gatou. He's returns under a false name and bangs his sister, hates his father and hates Konoha (sort of)
> 
> It has lack of morals and is quite disturbing...
> 
> yet highly amusing....



Just wrote him a scathing yet hopefully helpful review. You just need to be harsh with people like this, maybe this one will turn around.


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 21, 2012)

When OC's are used...what are some of the most over used or over popular names?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 21, 2012)

I have a very specific peeve surrounding Mei Terumi characterisation.

I've seen her portrayed as such (not all in the same fic, mind you):

Childish
Quick to act on impulse with little forethought
Giddish and nervous

She is none of these things. She's in her 30's (I think), she's not a schoolgirl, and she acts with a (general) maturity that any Kage would. Of course, she has her moments of threatening Ao, which is akin to A's temper and Tsunade's drinking, but that's because he sets her up for it.

Also, and this is what annoys me the most, is that a lot of writers now place the 'shut up or I'll kill you' phrase whenever Ao so much as talks. It give off the wrong idea about her character, and makes the reader think Mei hates him just for the sake of it, which is far from the case.

On another note:



To summarise it for those who don't want to read it (and I _*seriously*_ advise you do not for the sake of your own sanity):

Start of fic: The characters to be paired aren't aware of the other's existence.

Middle of fic (which appears to be barely an hour after the start): "I suddenly feel attracted to this person and jealous of any member of the opposite sex who interacts with them."

End of fic (five months after the middle, since the author has no intelligence with which to develop a realistic relationship): SEX.

All of that takes place in _*a single 2000-word chapter*_.

I actually want to reach through my laptop monitor and strangle the cesspit-borne figure who wrote (read: shat) this.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 21, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> On another note:
> 
> 
> 
> I actually want to reach through my laptop monitor and strangle the cesspit-borne figure who wrote (read: shat) this.



That's not a 'story', that's an abomination. 

To make it even worse the entire thing was told through bland dialogue. Which basically sums up to this;

*Samui:* So you're my future husband?

*Naruto:* Yup.

*Samui:* That's cool, and for some reason I totally wanna fuck you right now.

*Naruto:* Yup, me too. Come back to my place?

*Samui:* Kay' as long as you promise to stay faithful.

*Naruto:* Believe it!

_--------5 month time-skip-------------_

_*BADLY WRITTEN LEMON*_

_*THE END.*_


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 21, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> That's not a 'story', that's an abomination.
> 
> To make it even worse the entire thing was told through bland dialogue. Which basically sums up to this;
> 
> ...


Inorite? I have since left a harsh review.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

LOOL some dipshit tried to attack my review. Idiot obviously doesn't now what the fuck they are talking about. AHhahahahahaaa! What retards...

That guy Whirlpool posted about sent me a PM. It's so fucking funny. OMG! His attempt at making fun of me is just. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



A response to your review at 

Umm... you do know where you can shove all your advices, right? Tell me if you don't for I will be extremely glad to explain in details.
Oh, and I'll gladly tell you something as well. My story is abomination you think? Well, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Haha, yeah I love the catchphrase... Anyway from what yo said in your review I concluded that you have never, AND DARTHEMIUS MEANS NEVER EVER done it with a girl. So I think you should really get rid of all your pornographic journals. Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want for all gays and imbeciles like you to remove yourself from our presence. Yeah, and take a break for a couple of weeks, stop watching anime, get out of your house, hook up with some girls, drink some alcohol and try insulting me again for you're not doing a very good job at it.
P.S. Thanks for writing that. Yeah, I'm grateful, really... For I kind of showed your review to my friends and some of my fans. They were all laughing like crazy, especially on that 'original Naruto is better' crap. Hell, I laughed for hours myself.
P.P.S. Hey, you should also read my other story! There I made Naruto an invincible maniac/sex machine! You would like it for sure!

Cheers!

Darthemius.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 21, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> LOOL some dipshit tried to attack my review. Idiot obviously doesn't now what the fuck they are talking about. AHhahahahahaaa! What retards...
> 
> That guy Whirlpool posted about sent me a PM. It's so fucking funny. OMG! His attempt at making fun of me is just.
> 
> ...



wow...

what a douche

I mean, i enjoy a pimp Naruto as much as the next guy, but this guy overdoes it and is arrogant about it


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

I know and he also hates gay people. What did they ever do to him?  Let me tell you, my reply was just as harsh...It has much crude language, you have been warned.


*Spoiler*: __ 



How old are you again? Because you have the maturity of a fetus. Second of all I'm a woman and straight thanks so much, dipshit. Whatever, if you don't want to take my advice I'm done with you, you cunt sucking leech. And let me guess; all you 'friends' are the anonymous reviewers who are actually you in disguise? Number of reviews doesn't mean jack shit. First of all, if your reviewers don't have the balls to come out and say how shitty your fic is in the first place. Your English is horrible, I seriously had to read over your sad attempt at insults five times before I could get a gist of any of what you said. Nice attempt at trolling, but you REALLY need to do better than that if you think you hurt me at all. And thirdly, I don't own any porno materials, unlike you who probably masturbates to loli children while writing this semen in your mother's basement. Have luck with your garbage and if you think you can do batter job than Kishimoto who is on deadline,s has a family with kids that he must support and works for seven days a week making little for a famous mangaka, then show me. Else, you accusations are nothing more than thin air. You should try to be more open minded to other opinions, more so when we know more than you. Let's just say I"m not the only one who thinks your story is a pile of shit, dearie, and am telling you to give up before you commit suicide after you get more review that DOESN'T inflate your tiny dick.




Seriously, it is too fun dealing with these spitwads. OMG, I can't breathe...


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 21, 2012)

he sounds like a douche and is probably an idiot.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

That's why 'debating' with him is so stimulating.  I mean, seriously?


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 21, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> I know and he also hates gay people. What did they ever do to him?  Let me tell you, my reply was just as harsh...It has much crude language, you have been warned.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...



He hates gays?

I'm sort of gay, only for the two in the middle



and John Stamos....and Jared Leto....


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 21, 2012)

Crossovers. Especially the Kingdom Hearts x Naruto ones....


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Feb 21, 2012)

I also despise fics wherein _everybody_ is paired up with a canonical character, just what the fuck.



Whirlpool said:


> Let's not forget;
> 
> "Kyuubi isn't a demon, but a summoning person who has a GF and now for some reason the toads totally ditched me. So i summon demon foxes now and Sakura somehow hates Sasuke and loves me and I am the demon sage even though the toads only have sage mode. Lee bashing Hinata bashing chouji bashing, sasuke bashing danzo bashing and maybe ino bashing"
> 
> ...


I feel like banging my head to the nearest wall when I think back to when I was reading that. 

Apparently _everybody_ had to have some kind of special Sage Mode ability, even Chouji has Sage Mode. 

Oh and:
"You guys are just level 4, we are like level 100 and you are just like weak dipshits and we are supernatural deities that were send to protect the world. And we are twins!" 
I think s/he has a furry obsession.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 21, 2012)

> Umm... you do know where you can shove all your advices, right? Tell me if you don't for I will be extremely glad to explain in details.
> Oh, and I'll gladly tell you something as well. My story is abomination you think? Well, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Haha, yeah I love the catchphrase... Anyway from what yo said in your review *I concluded that you have never, AND DARTHEMIUS MEANS NEVER EVER done it with a girl. So I think you should really get rid of all your pornographic journals. *Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want for all gays and imbeciles like you to remove yourself from our presence. Yeah, and take a break for a couple of weeks, stop watching anime, get out of your house, hook up with some girls, drink some alcohol and try insulting me again for you're not doing a very good job at it.
> P.S. *Thanks for writing that. Yeah, I'm grateful, really... For I kind of showed your review to my friends and some of my fans. They were all laughing like crazy, especially on that 'original Naruto is better' crap. Hell, I laughed for hours myself.*P.P.S. Hey, you should also read my other story! There I made Naruto an invincible maniac/sex machine! You would like it for sure!
> 
> ...


LOL. 

It can't get anymore stereotypical than that for an 'internet stud/badass'.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

He sent me another one, just as retarded as the first.

You're a woman?! Shit, that explains everything! You probably watched all of Twilight series as well...
Oh, never mind me then, I don't like arguing with women. And yeah, my English may be horrible (Since I'm Russian and all) but yeah, I think I can do 'batter' than Kishimoto. You know why?! Because he made Naruto too good. It's like watching WWE where Cena never turns heel no matter what. Besides, Kishimoto is not working alone. He started alone, yes. Now he has a whole team backing him up.
As for your question, I'm 23. And no, I don't masturbate, especially on children. By the way, what's loli children? (Yeah, don't forget I'm Russian)
And my friends are not me in disguise. It was just funny how you trashed my story with the only argument being "Naruto is not like in manga! He should be good!" Well, let me tell you something. This shit is called a fiction for a reason. Hey, some people make Naruto gay! And some even change his gender! Do you trash them as well because of that? I mean come on, all you said was something like "Drop this story because it's bad" or something. You suggested nothing! At least you could say what you don't like so much, like some plot twists or maybe my grammar skills (Yeah, I got trashed about later a lot) Instead you said to just drop it. Well, thanks but no thanks, sis. I think I will keep this story exactly where it is. Besides, I'm not really into listening others' opinion even if you were to know more than I. And if you... and whoever else you know don't like my story so much, there is that one button in the high right corner of your monitor (It has a cross mark on it) Press on this button and my story will disappear. You're welcome.
P.S. My dick is actually quite large. At least no woman ever complained.
Cheers.

Like I care about the size of your dick you disgusting animal.

Yeah I can see how you'd go gay for those two.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 21, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> He sent me another one, just as retarded as the first.
> 
> You're a woman?! Shit, that explains everything! You probably watched all of Twilight series as well...
> Oh, never mind me then, I don't like arguing with women. And yeah, my English may be horrible (Since I'm Russian and all) but yeah, I think I can do 'batter' than Kishimoto. You know why?! Because he made Naruto too good. It's like watching WWE where Cena never turns heel no matter what. Besides, Kishimoto is not working alone. He started alone, yes. Now he has a whole team backing him up.
> ...



Not just the actors the characters too....it's Spartacus and Gannicus, fucking badasses


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 21, 2012)

Read is other fic....


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 21, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> P.S. My dick is actually quite large.




People who brag like this are physically in the opposite state most of the time.

I mean, I can be a right asshole when it comes to responding to pissy reviewers. I've already made three people vow to never read any more of my material because I either a) subtly insulted them or b) stated that no amount of pleading would make me change the pairing to their fanfaggotry. Guess what pairing they were effectively demanding me to change an NS fic to? 

Hint: It's got something to do with Naruto and Hinata.

I always have peeves about what authors write, but I also have severe peeves about what shit reviewers often think they can get away with. Naturally, I wouldn't dish out critique that I don't think I could personally take, but the things some people write are just unfounded shit that deserve harsh responses.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 21, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> People who brag like this are physically in the opposite state most of the time.
> 
> I mean, I can be a right asshole when it comes to responding to pissy reviewers. I've already made three people vow to never read any more of my material because I either a) subtly insulted them or b) stated that no amount of pleading would make me change the pairing to their fanfaggotry. Guess what pairing they were effectively demanding me to change an NS fic to?
> 
> ...



NaruHina....


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Feb 21, 2012)

Iknorite?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

I don't mind any Narupair as long as it's done well, but who are we kidding?

Fuck here he goes AGAIN.


*Spoiler*: _my post he was referring ot_ 



For your info twilight is the most disgusting garbage ever and if I could find that idiot I'd kill her right then and there. And I LOVE how you stick to stereotypes, and saying "oh thtst expln everything DOH!" like you think you me. I personally don't like fics where Naruto is gay either but that's why I don't read them. I was recommended your fic by someone who obviously did not have much in the way of taste. Trust me, i did click off as soon as =a wrote my review. Again, the premise is good but the execution is flat and uninteresting. I don't mind AU's as I do them myself and they are nice change of pace, but when you do ti wrong...

Here's what I mean when I say your fic is bad:

Take your fic; there is no build up, the dialouge is as awkward as hell and that's not because of your bad English, it's just bad dialouge. I do understand that you want Naruto to be dark and not as sunny like he is in the manga but shoving it in our faces in the first chapter is not a good way to do it. Having him be beating by villagers has been used 22432048320948 times and gets boring after a while, try to think of something else. And why would Mikoto take Naruto in? she is a nice person, but the Uchiha have been persecuted by the villagers since the Nine Tails attack, so I don't think she's going to go "Oh, you poor thing. I'll feed you and train you and take you to school." Even if she did, Sasuke's Dad would probably not let her do so as he is head of the Uchiha and wouldn't want them under suspicion.

I mean think about it for a moment; the facts as they are presented in the story you are writing and the the way that author has portrayed the characters does not match up. It makes it look like you know nothing about the source material; like you are ignorant and just writing to get hits.

That's all I have for characters. One other thing you need to touch on is how you portray the story. We, as readers do not want to see this:

"I am running through the forest."

"Damn, suddenly I am hit by ninjas,"

Or something like that; it's called 'script-form' and makes the fic look bad to people who want to give it a shot. A better way would be this:

He is running through the forest, the scent of the trees in his nose and the wind caress his cheek. Out of the periphery of his vision he watches as three shuriken come flying at him from the left. Quickly the raises his hand and deflect the projectiles with the gauntlet on his arm, hearing the clink of metal on metal...

See, now doesn't that seem more exciting than just dialouge?




Umm... No. What you described is the exact way a woman should write and I agree with that. For example, a woman would write something like: "A ray of morning sun caressed her cheek, making her woke up from her peaceful slumber. She unwillingly removed herself from her bed's warmth and blah, blah, blah..."
I would write something like: "She woke up, got out of bed and went out." Yeah, it might not be as pretty as your version, but it's much faster. Besides, many people like my writing because I skipped empty descriptions. For me it's about action. I may write it much simpler, but I try to keep people excited (Yeah, we have different definition of excitement)
And finally, stop saying I'm ignorant and all that crap! I know pretty well how characters were in manga/anime. That is EXACTLY why I made them different! Please explain to me with your almighty knowledge, what is the point of making a FICTION where everything is exactly like in the manga?! Yeah, I admit I might not be the most original guy, but at least I try. Hell, I saw you wrote some stories too. No, I didn't read them. Perhaps I would've find your stories boring, dumb, or something like that. But I'm not gonna write to you and describe it all in detail. You know why? Because I don't believe it will do any good. I mean yeah, some well placed advice? Sure. In fact, many people asked ME for advice on their stories. But not your kind of advice (Drop it, remember?)
So how about we just drop it? You don't like me and I... Well, I don't actually know you to say I don't like you, and I can't dislike you simply for hating my story. So, how about it?

I can't get though to this lout no matter who much I may try.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 21, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> To summarise it for those who don't want to read it (and I _*seriously*_ advise you do not for the sake of your own sanity):
> 
> Start of fic: The characters to be paired aren't aware of the other's existence.
> 
> ...





SaishuSoda said:


> That's not a 'story', that's an abomination.
> 
> To make it even worse the entire thing was told through bland dialogue. Which basically sums up to this;
> 
> ...


Okay...somebody has directly copied what was written in these quotes and actually posted them as an anonymous review to the same story.


Why bother? I figured my words would probably be enough for the matter.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

why is that a bad thing? I did that just to see what they would say. I was bored and needed to vent and that piece of shit made me go over the edge.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 21, 2012)

That was you? 

I suppose having a second opinion means the first 'critique-heavy' review wasn't just a one-off in the writer's eyes. I never said it was bad thing, I just didn't think it was totally necessary.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

I want to make someone feel so bad they delete their fic. Dunno why; I have a mean streak going on lately, and this thread does not help.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 21, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Okay...somebody has directly copied what was written in these quotes and actually posted them as an anonymous review to the same story.
> 
> 
> Why bother? I figured my words would probably be enough for the matter.


Well, that's rather interesting. It is a little over the top to use our posts like that, out of context.

Oh well, it hardly even matters anymore. What's done is done. 



Itachifan727 said:


> I want to make someone feel so bad they delete their fic. *Dunno why; I have a mean streak going on lately, and this thread does not help. *


_I shall cleanse this hatred you bear in your heart._


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

The tag is being retarded and nothing is coming up.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 21, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> The tag is being retarded and nothing is coming up.


Wow, the gif got deleted from the source 3 mins after I posted. Shit, I wasn't prepared for this. 

Here's some comic relief to... ya know, cleanse the hatred from your heart.

*To keep my post on-topic;*

People killing off the opposition to the main pairing. I ran into this pretty much every fanfic I tried reading today. I don't mind character deaths, but its annoying when its out of spite.

Killing off Naruto, so Sakura's feelings are completely focused on Sasuke.

Killing off Ino, so Shikamaru is completely focused on Temari.

Turning Hinata into a whore, make her completely unlikeable, then kill her off in the shittiest fashion. All to take her out of the 'competition' for Naruto.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 21, 2012)

Shit, I heard of that before! OMFG!


----------



## PainKiller (Feb 21, 2012)

Not sure if this was mentioned already but finding stories that are written like a script tends to annoy me.

Something like:

Naruto: Hi.
Sasuke: What do you want?
Naruto: Nothing <laughs stupidly>

That and THOSE THAT USE CAPS IN THEIR STORY TO EMPHASIZE EMOTION BECAUSE WORDS CANNOT CONVEY WHAT GIANT LETTERS CAN.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 22, 2012)

PainKiller said:


> Not sure if this was mentioned already but finding stories that are written like a script tends to annoy me.
> 
> Something like:
> 
> ...



Can't stand capital letters. A '!' will do along with a 'he/she yelled' just fine


----------



## TheGreen1 (Feb 22, 2012)

All this "half-demon" shit, especially with ears and a tail. Nobody ever uses the powers that Kurama has canonically given Naruto, especially post Sage Mode. Naruto NEVER gets to get the Kyuubi to merge his chakra. The only exception to this rule is the "Path of the Hunternin" where the recent chapter actually followed that canon power.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 22, 2012)

Don't remind me of the furries! Hate furries, sooooo much.  WHY WON'T THEY DIE!?


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 22, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Don't remind me of the furries! Hate furries, sooooo much.  WHY WON'T THEY DIE!?




You mean those fanfictions where Naruto is literally sporting a fox tail and ears?


----------



## lacey (Feb 22, 2012)

Taking a male character, and making them female. And vice versa.

My brain doesn't fucking work that way.


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 23, 2012)

Oh nos So and So used a gender change jutsu but can't switch back! SHENANIGANS!!!


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 23, 2012)

TOMCAT'S MOAST EPICK EFFEFFDAWTNEHT SUMUREES EVUR (Part 1)



> I AM NO BABY SITTER, plaese Anko train Naruto I'll pay for your Dnago for a year...





> it s Naruxharem first fic be nice, it a cross over between Naruto/halo but mostly Naruto little kiddies don't read swearing gore and romance can Naruto survive the war with Covenant or will he fall like so many before him





> When Naruto meets a strange man Hilarity and romance insue... I suck at summaries T.T rated M for Language





> the cannon couples have finally done it, they've procreated, my fancharacter is there too!





> Naruto is born ten years earlier as is the kyubbi attack making him older than the rookies he is adopted by Ibiki who is also older for this purpose and raises Naruto who will become feared as the Game and no this is not a wwe naruto story





> "IF ARE NOT THE BABY'S FATHER!" TSUNADE POINTED AT ASUMA. "THEN WHO IS?" TSUNADE YELLED. "I AM!" A MAN SAID





> this is a beggining and will be getting more later this weekend





> Naruto by mistake perform a bad Jutsu. Naruto awaken in a world that what if Naruto was never born?





> with the power of the strongest bloodline who can beat him. naruto x lot of women





> at six year's old Naruto finds his heratige and leaves the leaf for ten years. the Kyuubi is a wolf. strong, smart, and deadly naruto





> With the dead of their baby girl,it will make revolution in the world.With the deal from demon,comeback for revenge. Where will this timeline will guide them.Will they success?




Who wants to help me commit some genocide here?

Also, in response to that last one: "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

Then the reply would be: “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.”


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 23, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> TOMCAT'S MOAST EPICK EFFEFFDAWTNEHT SUMUREES EVUR (Part 1)





> it s Naruxharem first fic be nice, it a cross over between Naruto/halo but mostly Naruto little kiddies don't read swearing gore and romance can Naruto survive the war with Covenant or will he fall like so many before him


Naruto/Halo crossover? How the hell does that work?



> this is a beggining and will be getting more later this weekend


Valuable information. 



> When Naruto meets a strange man Hilarity and romance insue... I suck at summaries T.T rated M for Language


I swear I can't stand the 'I suck at summaries' or 'I know its not good so totally don't praise me and tell it isn't! '. 



> Naruto is born ten years earlier as is the kyubbi attack making him older than the rookies he is adopted by Ibiki who is also older for this purpose and raises Naruto who will become feared as the Game and no this is not a wwe naruto story


I'm not sure if this is an AU or just a weird crossover. Since I really don't see how WWE and the kyuubi attack mix. 



> "IF ARE NOT THE BABY'S FATHER!" TSUNADE POINTED AT ASUMA. "THEN WHO IS?" TSUNADE YELLED. "I AM!" A MAN SAID


THIS IS TOTALLY REALISTIC. ESPECIALLY THE CAPS!



> Naruto by mistake perform a bad Jutsu. Naruto awaken in a world that what if Naruto was never born?


I'm lost...



> with the power of the strongest bloodline who can beat him. naruto x lot of women


Mary-Sue harem that consists of the entire female cast. I rage just thinking about it.



> at six year's old Naruto finds his heratige and leaves the leaf for ten years. the Kyuubi is a wolf. strong, smart, and deadly naruto


Then its not fucking Naruto! Jeez just say its a fucking OC!



> With the dead of their baby girl,it will make revolution in the world.With the deal from demon,comeback for revenge. Where will this timeline will guide them.Will they success?


 



> Who wants to help me commit some genocide here?


It's time for a rampage.



> Also, in response to that last one: "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
> 
> Then the reply would be: “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. *It’s just common sense."*



Indeed.


----------



## tessacha (Feb 23, 2012)

Things I dislike in fanfictions: 

1 - Bad Grammar. 
2 - When the author makes run-on sentences. 
3 - Uchiha-cest
4 - Yaoi
5 - OOC-ness
6 - Naruto allofasudden getting a Bloodline -_-
7 - High School fanfics.


----------



## Horu (Feb 23, 2012)

Just skimmed a story featuring "Kotsue and Izsum-the gate watches" 

Supporting characters included "Sakura Hurno, Kurenai Yuaka, Ino Yakamara, Asuma Hurezen, and Anko Matsuri"  

And Naruto was running around making six-pointed pentagrams :sanji


----------



## Ino Yamanaka (Feb 23, 2012)

I dont mind some random OC's but not when they are with them all the time... You know what I mean? lol


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> TOMCAT'S MOAST EPICK EFFEFFDAWTNEHT SUMUREES EVUR (Part 1)
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The fuck does that even mean? I need a translator.


----------



## Whirlpool (Feb 23, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> The fuck does that even mean? I need a translator.



It means...

Tomcat171's most epic fanfiction.net summaries ever.

Am I correct?


----------



## Van Basten (Feb 23, 2012)

Anything with Shikamaru and Ino as a pairing. >_>


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> It means...
> 
> Tomcat171's most epic fanfiction.net summaries ever.
> 
> Am I correct?



No i mean this garble of garbage:

Also, in response to that last one: "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

Then the reply would be: ?You?ve got to be kidding me. I?ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It?s just common sense.?

If you can't speak English well, just do it in your native language; more ppl will enjoy it that way.


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 23, 2012)

Van Basten said:


> Anything with Shikamaru and Ino as a pairing. >_>



I don't think specific pairings can be....oh forget it. This is all just opinion anyway.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 23, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> If you can't speak English well, just do it in your native language; more ppl will enjoy it that way.


You are aware that I am born and bred in the place that gives the English language its name, right?


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 23, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Also, in response to that last one: "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
> 
> Then the reply would be: ?You?ve got to be kidding me. I?ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It?s just common sense.?
> 
> *If you can't speak English well, just do it in your native language; more ppl will enjoy it that way.*


Its pretty obvious they were quoting from a source, because of the... ya know... quotation marks. 

Besides it's a internet joke, dont take it so seriously.


----------



## Baby Joe (Feb 23, 2012)

Oh no....


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 23, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Oh no....


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 23, 2012)

People seem to have really really odd fetishes. I see that...Kiba is a Hyuuga in that fanfiction.  But why?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Its pretty obvious they were quoting from a source, because of the... ya know... quotation marks.
> 
> Besides it's a internet joke, dont take it so seriously.



I meant in general. Ppl who aren't Eng native speakers find it awesome to post fics in a lang they half comprehend so they will get more views since a lot of the Ff.net weeaboos live in US and Canada.


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## Dejablue (Feb 23, 2012)

Lol that's a grammar meme but its true that people on the internet who don't speak English, will try and type in English and its just horrible. I actually see that a lot here. I have to read a post 3 times to make sure I understand it. Imagine what that is like with fanfiction.


----------



## Kezone (Feb 23, 2012)

Alright. I'm bored, so...

Clicked on first fanfic on fanfiction.net. 
Title:


> I'm Back


Not the best title ever. (Not even a good one, really.) At least it's capitalized.



> Sakura is sent on a two year training by Tsunade. But, she must pose as dead. She comes back, stronger, more beautiful, and over Sasuke. Sasusaku



Oh God. 
No. Just no.

Things wrong: Sakura's character. It might be done well in the fic, but I doubt it. 

Authors note:



> Chapter 1: A proposed decision
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DON NOT OWN NARUTO!
> 
> ...



Things wrong: Blackmailing for reviews. Restating the summery without adding anything to it; not exactly wrong, but sort of unnecessary. If I clicked on it I must have read the summer, right? And the disclaimer had a misspelling: DON NOT should be either DON’T or DO NOT. 

 First paragraph:



> Team Seven was, as usual, at their clearing, training. All of them at the age of 16-years-old. Naruto, the kyuubi vessel, has gotten what he wanted, respect from people, especially in Konoha. He had also managed to convince Sasuke that he couldn't beat Itatchi by himself, so, both of them (Sasuke and Naruto) did so together, and were very successful. Sasuke, as well, has managed to fulfill his goal with the help of his best friend. Both of them had gotten even more handsome over the years. Sasuke's eyes were darker, deeper, and more intense. His face showed pure maturity. Naruto changed from cute baby faced, to a hot blonde. His blue eyes were deeper and mature. Both were the strongest ninjas known in Konoha.



Things Wrong: Awkward phrasing in the first sentence. Awkward phrasing in the second sentence. Misuse/overuse of commas. Let’s just assume that the awkward phrasing will be present throughout this fic. Third sentence has hand waving of past events to explain why Sasuke is back in Konoha. This hand waving doesn’t even fit in with canon, because if this author was even slightly knowledgeable about Naruto in the past few years the author would know that Itachi is not a bad guy, and he is already dead. I’ll move on considering this is an AU where a) Itachi really was evil and Naruto acted differently when Sasuke attempted to leave saying they’d beat up Itachi together or b) Naruto and Sasuke never learned that he wasn’t evil and got revenge of him together. Either way, Sasuke would never agree to let Naruto help him with his precious revenge, so I have no idea how these events happened. Also, Itachi is misspelled.  The rest of the paragraph is devoted to going over how hot they have become, sueifying canon characters. 

This is how I concluded that this fic is - and as a long dead Bleach character once said- complete trash and is not worthy of my time.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

Yay, we need to start a FF.net commu; the fic police or something. I kid but still, imagine the lols that would be had.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Feb 23, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Yay, we need to start a FF.net commu; the fic police or something. I kid but still, imagine the lols that would be had.



Just don't forget the alcohol... we'd need it.


----------



## Kezone (Feb 23, 2012)

First part of the fanfic:
*Spoiler*: __ 







> Buy*, Sakura was left in their shadows, like always. Sure, she was strong, but not strong enough. She was just "Sakura of Team7*." Nothing more*. Kakashi still took more interest in Sasuke and Naruto that* her. After all, they were both living legends*. So, this left Sakura behind the three. Always protected. It made her angry at times, but in the end, she blamed herself for being so weak*. She couldn't get mad at Naruto, because he brought back Sasuke, who she loved dearly*. Sakura didn't change much, she still had short hair, and her forehead was less large, but still not small*.


?	_Should be spelled ?But? and should not be used at the start of a sentence, much less a paragraph._
_?	Should be space between ?Team? and ?7?. And I said above that I would give up mentioning how awkward the phrasing is, but really?
?	Shouldn?t be separate sentence. Alright, alright. I?ll stop on the grammar and sentence structure issues otherwise I?ll be here all day.
?	?Then?
?	What did they do to become so in this AU?
?	? OOC, and bad character interpretation. 
?	Maybe he didn?t go batshit insane in this AU- or maybe he never got farther then Valley of The End so I can sprat maybe understand this. Maybe.
?	Do foreheads grow smaller? I don?t recall ever hearing anything like that. This is complete Suification. _


> On with the story*. Sakura was training with Kakashi on chakra control*. Sasuke and Naruto were sparring with each other. Sakura, as usual, was in awe about how much power her two teammates had. And of course, she was angry at herself for being weak.*


?	_On with the story? Really?
?	If she?s half as strong as you?ve led me to believe I?m sure she a)doesn?t need it or b) knows how to practice on her own. And canon!Sakura is incredible at chakra control, so I really doubt this is necessary. And why are they still training with Kakashi? Assuming they?re like seventeen right now and Sasuke probably never left at Valley Of The End I?d think they?d all be at least chuunin, probably jounin right now. 
?	 This again? If she?s angry, why doesn?t she train and become stronger? I mean, she IS suified in this so it should be incredibly easy for her. _


> Soon enough, Kakashi called the day over*. With that, their sensei disappeared in a puff of smoke, probably off to read his favorite book.* Sakura stayed to heal both of her teammates. Naruto would give Sakura a big hug and would grin at her, saying "Thank you!" Sasuke would just nod and grunt his thanks. Sakura smiled back at both of them.*


?	_What use was describing the previous scene if you were going to end it right away? Why not just say ?they had been traing??
?	This just seems so? Idunnno? flat? And doesn?t Kakashi read his book DURING training? (The training they shouldn?t be having at the moment because they?re all on his level or stronger by now. Maybe they?ve become his senseis? I mean, it is suified?) Maybe after Sasuke attempted to leave Kakashi started paying more attention to them instead of reading while teaching them?
?	I just don?t like this part. Again, flat?_


> "Hey, Sakura-chan, Sasuke-teme, do you ?" Naruto sarted.


?_	 (bad) Japanese. Again with the ?-teme? thing. IT IS NOT A SUFFIX!
?	?Started? is misspelled._


> "Save it, dope, I already know what you're going to ask. You ask if we want to go get ramen with you every everyday."


_
?	?Dope.?
?	Flat dialogue.
?	?Every? is written twice._


> "Well?" Naruto prompted.


?	_?Prompted?? Really? _


> "Hn*. Let's go." Sasuke started walking away.


?	_?Hn?_


> "Sakura-chan? What about you?" Naruto asked.
> "Sorry, Naruto, but I'm going over to the Hokage tower. Tsunade-sama said she has something she wants to tell me. Ja ne!" With that, she walked away, towards her destination.


?	_First off, really short conversation.
?	Japanese. I don?t know what ?Ja ne? means, do you? I happen to speak English, and only English. _


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## Kezone (Feb 23, 2012)

Fanfiction police? Sure needs it.


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## Kezone (Feb 23, 2012)

Reviews:



> Anonymous:
> Wow this story is amaaazing and to be honest it has the potential to be a great story so please please continue it I have been looking for good strong sakura fics and this one seems great





> Anonymous:
> The down side to this kind of story is that there are many stories like this one. However, your work seems more original. Unlike the hundreds of copycats out there your work reflects a more interesting point of view. I can’t wait for the next chapter.





> Anonymous:
> i love the idea of this fic... its awesome and i love how you are having sakura leive and then come back to be stronger and i also agree with the other reviewer tht it ould be cool to have sasuke try to win sakura back when she comes back to the village... please update soon!





> alyssamichele98 :
> I really like the idea so far, and I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter. I kind of like the idea that Sasuke is secretly in love with Sakura, so could you please incorporate some of that in the story? It would be funny if she comes back over him and he has to win her back... anyway, update soon!(:





> Peachygotit-Kica :
> More more more! It's so awesome. Me wanna read more of your awesome fanfic! PS you have a few typos, but it's still good



Really people? How many of you are fake?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

Obviously all of the anon. Shit isn't "original" or "awesome"...it's shit.  Goddamn...How old is the fic anyway?Have they written any more?

Fuck it, I'm making the commu. Anyone want to join or be mods just PM me there. (HeroOfFanFictionJustice) This shit has got to stop, and I would bring alcohol but I'm not legal.



Fuuck...I can't make a forum with my new account yet.


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## lacey (Feb 23, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Oh nos So and So used a gender change jutsu but can't switch back! SHENANIGANS!!!



And not even that; half the time, they simply take a male character, and make them female, if only for the sake of a pairing. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



I was skimming fanfiction.net the other day out of boredom, and someone had written a story in which Sasuke was female...and having sex with Kurama, who had taken over Naruto's body. It was just...they mind as well have just confessed to being a closeted Yaoi fan. :/

Speaking of Kurama, the majority of the fanfics surrounding him make him female, and more often than not, pair him off with Naruto. I know that a kitsune can technically be either male or female, but Kurama has always struck me as strictly male. Mrph.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

the mental images  GET OUT OF MY HEAD


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## Kezone (Feb 23, 2012)

The fanfic was from like an hour ago. It only had one chapter, but at the rate that the author is reviewing herself I bet more is coming -_-


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

Well, we can use that fic as a test run for the new forum when it comes this Sunday. I get bored easy at college. 

Welp let's see this one;



> The Strange Jutsu! Teaser





> "Lady Tsunade!" "What is it, Shizune?" "It's Naruto! He—!" "Yo." "Kakashi, what's going on!" "Well, Sakura is bringing Naruto in—" "My Lady, Naruto is-!" "Sakura, what's… but… that can't be! Will someone explain to me what's going on!"



Yeeah....already not looking too good.



> Naruto was leading the group as they jumped from tree to tree, when the orange clad ninja herd Sakura call out.
> 
> "Naruto, slow down! We're not in a race!"
> 
> ...



Already a spelling error; I don't think Sakura would get angry so easily over something like this but maybe that's just me.



> Yamato, assigned on this mission for safety precautions, was watching this exchange with a thoughtful smile. Meanwhile Sai was just observing his teammates behavior for what seemed like the twentieth time that day. He was getting agitated as well; although he was much better at hiding it. One of the problems was the abnormally hot weather, and it didn't help that the only time they took a breather was at lunch time. This was about three hours ago and the heat was getting to almost everyone… except for Naruto.
> 
> Kakashi, who recognized the signs of fatigue in his teammates, was pondering over the thought of taking a twenty-minute break when Yamato came up beside him. "Hey Kakashi," Yamato said quietly. "I think we should take a break in that shaded clearing up ahead so that we can cool off and drink some water." At that moment Kakashi was seriously wondering if Yamato could read minds.



I highly doubt _Sai_ would get agitated, and where did you say there was a clearing? Sjow, not tell.



> "Yeah, I was starting to think the same thing." Kakashi said with a sideways glance at his subordinate. "Well I guess we do need to take a rest… Oi!" Sai and Sakura looked at their sensei, while Naruto slowed down so he could hear. "We're going to take a brake at that small clearing ahead."
> 
> "What are you talking about Kakashi-sensei," Naruto objected. "We need to hurry! We don't have time for breaks!"
> 
> ...



Small spelling error and missing some commas(maybe it could be me again.) Naruto is not...that fucking retarded! Christ, i hate when people do this.



> "Oi, Naruto!" Yamato called, Naruto stopped and turned around making a questioning sound. "You can do that after you take two minutes to get some water down you." Naruto grumbled as his hands flopped down to his sides; seeing his teammates now sitting under a fairly good size tree, Naruto headed over to them.
> 
> Naruto took the canteen Sakura offered him, and sat down in the shade in front of his team. 'This is going to be a long two minutes.' Naruto thought as he took a drink of water.
> 
> ...



Naruto being flanderized. And i highly doubt with members like Kakashi, Yamato and Sai that they could not have sensed the malice and evil intent coming that way because of the Akatsuki....Kismae is not Itachi's bitch either; he's pretty damn smart.



> "Kisame," Itachi said in his usual calm tone. "Stay here. Make sure that they don't start looking for him too soon."
> 
> Kisame grinned. "Sure, no problem."
> 
> ...



Odd sentence structure, spelling error. Kisame flander...



> "Sasuke," Karin called out to her team leader. Sasuke turned back just far enough to give the female in their group a one-eye stare, but he said nothing. "I can sense Itachi's chakra and he's not alone."
> 
> "How many," Sasuke ordered a response.
> 
> ...



Same thing with the Jounins and Akatsuki...I'm pretty sure Karin wouldn't call Naruto 'the jinchuriki'...



> 0o0o0
> 
> Naruto walked south towards an open field with stumps scattered around behind a thin tree-line just off the road he remembered seeing on their way over. The area was about two kilometers from where his team had decided to rest; the location was a little far from his friends but he figured everything would be fine, it wasn't like their mission had been S-rank or even A-ranked. As a matter of fact, it had been quite peaceful and uneventful in Konoha for the last month and a half.
> 
> Naruto leaped from tree branch to tree branch until he landed at the edge of the clearing. A smile spread across his face, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"


----------



## Kezone (Feb 23, 2012)

I'm tracking down the community right now- how does one join 

EDIT: Oh, I'll just PM you.:amazed


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 23, 2012)

> Sakura glanced down the road where Naruto's back disappeared for what seemed like the tenth time in the past three minutes.
> 
> For some reason Sakura was anxious. She had had a bad premonition before but this wasn't the same; it wasn't dread, it wasn't fear for someone's life, and it wasn't worry. It didn't seem to be anything:she was simply, uneasy.
> 
> ...



Spelling mistakes, use of the jinchuriki to describe Naruto, Itachi's way of jumping out was not Itachi like... and I have a feeling that this is gonna turn into a baby-Naruto gets taken care of by Sasuke fic.

Added you, but it says you should check your email to confirm it


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## lacey (Feb 24, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> the mental images  GET OUT OF MY HEAD



How did you think _I_ felt? ;;

Also, at the end of it, as an author's note - 

"Basically, sometimes the seal makes Sasuke yearn for sex courtesy of Orochimaru."

Uuuuugh. :/


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## Dejablue (Feb 24, 2012)

we could create a livejournal community dedicated to ripping into bad fanfiction. I don't think it'd be allowed here.


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## Dejablue (Feb 24, 2012)

KezoneShippuden said:


> Alright. I'm bored, so...
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> ...



*Spoiler*: __ 









The more frightening thing is that this fanfic is no longer number one on the list.  If I search spefically for Sakura and Sasuke with a romance genre.  It's number 7.  So since yesterday 6 more fics have been written at least.  And I'm sure they all suck.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 24, 2012)

What makes me laugh is that C2-added authors aren't notified that their fic's been added. They have to go to their Legacy Story Stats to find out 

Some fics have already been added to the C2


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 24, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> How did you think _I_ felt? ;;
> 
> Also, at the end of it, as an author's note -
> 
> ...



  Fuck it.  So disguuuusting~~~


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 24, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Fuuck...I can't make a forum with my new account yet.


I could do it if you want


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 24, 2012)

Sure, that's fine. As long as one of us does it. :3


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 24, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Sure, that's fine. As long as one of us does it. :3


It's done. If anyone wants to be a mod, PM me. Otherwise I'll link the actual location to post topics .

Profanity filter is disabled, but apparently "All discussions including language and content must be suitable for teens."


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 24, 2012)

Sweet~ I can't PM yet so i'll ask here. Modship plz.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 24, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Sweet~ I can't PM yet so i'll ask here. Modship plz.


Do you want it to go to the HeroOfJustice etc. account or do you have a main?


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## Kezone (Feb 24, 2012)

Joined the community. This'll be a hard and scary task... Just wait for the flaming to start 

EDIT:
Oh god. 



The reviews for the fic I've been complaining about... 

Maybe we should just add like half of the SasuSaku NaruHina and SasuNaru and assume that most of thme are bad? (Or at least cliche)


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## Dejablue (Feb 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> What makes me laugh is that C2-added authors aren't notified that their fic's been added. They have to go to their Legacy Story Stats to find out
> 
> Some fics have already been added to the C2




I've heard the term C2 before but I have no idea what it means.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Feb 24, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> I've heard the term C2 before but I have no idea what it means.


It stands for 'Community'.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Do you want it to go to the HeroOfJustice etc. account or do you have a main?



HeroOfFanFictionJustice account plz.


----------



## Boob (Feb 25, 2012)

When characters are poorly written, like when they're _too_ OOC already.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 25, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> I've heard the term C2 before but I have no idea what it means.


Like Saishu said, it's just the short term for 'Community'.

16 fics have already been archived  Need more people to contribute.


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## Dejablue (Feb 25, 2012)

I wonder what ff.net's policy is on this level of fanfiction criticism.  I suppose they can't take offense.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Feb 25, 2012)

Sometimes I wished that the writers of the K-ON section would also write Naruto fanfics, the section would've been much better then. 

Then again; it's easier to write about schoolgirls than ninjas.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 25, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> I wonder what ff.net's policy is on this level of fanfiction criticism.  I suppose they can't take offense.


Nothing in the ToS says one can't do something like this. If you want to create a forum dedicated to ratting out crap fics, there's nothing stopping you since, according to article 6B:


> You shall be solely responsible for your own User Submissions and the consequences of posting or publishing them.


Literally, "If someone royally ass rapes your fic, it's your problem, 'cause you made it and chose to make it public."

Not to mention they let flaming reviews pass without incident.


----------



## lacey (Feb 25, 2012)

I actually like that policy. Forces people to be responsible for their own shit. (:


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 25, 2012)

Good to know I can't get busted...


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 25, 2012)

Indeed. A lot of fan fiction seem to suffer from basic grammatical errors.  I think that alone should be a reason to call out a fan fiction.

Are any of us comfortable enough to put our own fanfiction up on a chopping block?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

Not willingly, I bet 

I often request critique...but I end up getting shitty with the person giving it constructive criticism. Kind of shooting myself in the foot there


----------



## Dejablue (Feb 26, 2012)

all I can ask is that the person giving critique know their source material.  Though things can be dicing if a pairing is involved. I guess its best to be as subjective as possible there.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

The reviews for what will be my 'big' NS fic are full of subjective pairing shit. What with all the 'this why he should go for Hinata' etc shit, only about 10 of the 48 reviews for the first chapter actually mention the grammar or structure or whatever that has nothing to do with a pairing.

Although one of my reviews was from Dragon6, the author of 'Mizukage'. He was pleased with it.

For my 'big' NI fic, I actually get good feedback of my grammar and structuring. People give critique, but I agree with a lot of it because I saw the faults before I posted it. Sadly, I was respecting one reviewer's opinion... right until they called me stuck up.


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

I'll do it. I have a fic but it's really a one shot from a couple years back so I know it sucks balls. I'm probably gonna rewrite just cause looking back at now makes me 

Just reviewed one of the fics on the list.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Just reviewed one of the fics on the list.


As have I. I wanna SMH.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

SMH? Uh, what's smh? Not good w. abrev. I thought SMH was used to refer to a gaming genre, like shoot em up or smash em up...?


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

SMH = Shake My Head

SMH at you IF...SMH


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## Kezone (Feb 26, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Indeed. A lot of fan fiction seem to suffer from basic grammatical errors.  I think that alone should be a reason to call out a fan fiction.
> 
> Are any of us comfortable enough to put our own fanfiction up on a chopping block?



I did put it up online for the world to see. I'm not quite happy with what I have up right now though, 'caus I wrote it a while ago and reading back I can only wince and make plans to rewrite everything. (Though isn't that how it always is? We're always becoming better writers so all of our previous work looks like crap.)


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

I look back at the first chapters of my first fic (a Black Lagoon one) and sometimes feel like dying...or just rewriting them and replacing the offending chapters.


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## SaishuSoda (Feb 26, 2012)

Ya know what? Fuck it.

I'm done trying to find a decent fanfiction today.


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

Someone posted an authors note ch about our commu...LOOOL.

*Sorry for people who thought this was an update, but it would mean the world to me if you read this.

Yes I know this is stupid but today I was just changing my profile and I wanted to see how many hits I got (yeah I think it's funny to see, deal with it) but then I saw that I got a C2s.

I didn't really know what it was so I clicked on it, there was a board message and it read this;

Helping to sort out the giant piles of trash fics from the few good ones still out there in the Naruto Community. We love Naruto, and wish for its name not to be sundered by the numerous horrible fics we have seen cropping up over the years.If the fic has OOC, bad grammar, bad plot, furries, love-rape, OCs, sueification (of OCs or even canon) bad sentence structure or any combo/more on this list, it will be here. We will then post a discussion of it on our forum, and try to point out things which could be f

Uhm, my question now is if my story really is that bad, or does it really has bad grammar. I know that when I first started this story indeed it sucked big time, but I really thought I was improving on that part.

Also do I really have a bad sentence structure? Or is my plot bad? To serious OOC?

Please tell me (but not in a bashing way) I just want to improve.

Then I'm going to go over all the chapters from the beginning to try and find my mistakes, so it will take some time.

I know I said my updates would become more regular, but I just really want to know where it went wrong.

Please repeat to this.

Sincerely black snake eyes.*

Her reviewers are trying to convince her it's not shit and all that but it really is. MFG

Skimming over it though she has gotten a little bit better, but still....


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## SaishuSoda (Feb 26, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Someone posted an authors note ch about our commu...LOOOL.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...


I personally don't care either way, but I've got a question out of curiosity.

Are you guys giving constructive criticism or just bashing them?


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

It's constructive. We make an effort to be harsh, but I don't think it's bashing. Here's one of our more recent revs. Besides, we haven't even gone over her fic yet.


*Spoiler*: __ 



Link: 

SoP hasn't even tried with this. It's quite appalling, so much so that I didn't even get past the first chapter. I won't bother going through it in detail, because otherwise it would be like writing a university/college thesis as to why it's awful.

The Biggest Problems:

It's written in script format; this automatically violates rule 6 of the list of disallowed works. Even then, the method of dialogue changes; sometimes it's in script format, other times it's done with speech marks.

Dialogue all takes place inside one paragraph. A new paragraph should be started whenever someone else speaks.

Punctuation is despicably awful.

The author seems to have a kindergarten's knowledge of capitalisation.

They have fucking mixed Jersey Shore and Naruto. This is a goddamn cardinal sin, and the heretic should be burned at the stake.

Every single character out of those introduced in chapter one care about nothing but sex and their own ego. Mary Sues and Gary Stu's inhabit the place.

It's yet another one of those fics that ship NaruHina and SasuSaku that people jizz for, but that's mostly because the people reviewing it appear to have even less intelligence than SoP.

Result

Seeker of Paradise is an author of 19 stories; I would expect more from somebody like that. Instead, I would rather suggest that they stop writing fan fictions forever.

0/10




not the best example...


*Spoiler*: __ 



http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7527450/1/

I think it's a KakashiXOC story. I really just skimmed through the first chapter, but I can already tell what is wrong with this fanfiction. Honestly, it's alright...just needs some things to make it better.

The paragraphs are oddly spaced and everything is aligned to the left of the margins. It makes the fic look odd, not to mention that the most amount of the sentences for a paragraph should be five. Not ten, not twenty, just five. Though it's really hard to tell where one paragraph begins and where one ends because of this odd spacing issue. It also makes it difficult to read the dialogue and know who is talking, and when they stop. Spaces should be done after every line of dialogue to clean up the fic and make it look neater. There is no punctuation in the dialogue and commas are hard to find in this fic; they are elusive. The chapter are pretty short; I'd say at least 500 words or maybe a bit more, but they're not too hard to struggle through .

As for plot, the OC is introduced within the third sentence and even though she is a baby, the author keeps describing the color of her eyes and blanket and strange jewelery etc. Mainly she's already been suified; already she must have some sort of special destiny that is connect with that odd bracelet with the symbol on it and her odd looking purple eyes. *Yawn* You're not the first to come up with this idea, please do something different. While the author did say this started as fic for her and her friends, now that you have posted it on the net for everyone to see, prepare to get crit that you might not like. That's why the net is dangerous place; people are jerks. eep these kinds of fics in your head; that's the best place they belong or at least put them on paper so new ideas can come out. No one really wants to read about you and your special friends all hooking up with the canon char you love who will always be by your side in a fluffy fairytale romance. Shit doesn't work that way.

The more annoying thing is that when the OC turns five, she can outfight a group of bandits all on her own; and the village she was living in was supposedly peaceful and isolated so why would she need fighting techniques in the first place? Talk about godmodding; most academy students, aside from those grown up in 3rd ninja war era, couldn't pull of this kinda stuff let along a civilian girl! Ho wait ,she has a special barrier protecting her from attacks, no wonder she didn't die. Then after all is said and done, the five year old girl is banished form the village since she killed the bandits who wrecked the town. Haven't I seen this somewhere before? Yeah, in almost any other Oc fic anywhere on fanfiction.net. I admit I was also guilty of this when I first started, but it seems Yuki has several other fics up her belt that are almost the same quality as this one; I honestly haven't checked since most of it high school AU and I hate that more than anything. In ch2 the same thing happens, except she is now on the mainland of the Five Great Nations...really? C'mon. It's people like you who are giving us OC writers a bad name.

Overall, the plot is bland an uninspiring as well as the character we are supposed to care about. THE OC is ridiculously over powered and the story is cliche and horribly bland and hard to care about. The grammar and strutting of the fic needs work, as of right now it makes it very difficult to tell what is going no, though this problem is fixed by ch2. The fix, is to space out every single line in the ifc and that doesn't make it look any better than it did before. At least it's easier to follow along with. Yyuki seems new to the site, having only joined up around last July, I think. But she ash written four fics since then and this is her third newest one. Hopefully she can learn to do better next time with this help. this fic gets a 2/10.


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## SaishuSoda (Feb 26, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> It's constructive. We make an effort to be harsh, but I don't think it's bashing. Here's one of our more recent revs. Besides, we haven't even gone over her fic yet.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...




*Spoiler*: __ 





> *Contructive Criticism* - _Criticism or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer of possible solutions. _






That's not even close to constructive criticism. There is literally not one thing in that review that would allow the author to benefit in any way. It focused completely on the negative aspects, and didn't provide a way for improvement or a solution to those problems. Giving a harsh review is one thing, but this review was just bashing no matter which way you look at it.

Its like insulting/harassing a fat kid in gym class about their weight. You may convince him to lose that weight, but you can't say you were a positive influence on them.





> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> 
> ...



This review is a good example of constructive criticism. 

It stated the problems with the story and provided advice for improvement. It's a somewhat harsh review, but it can still be used as positive feedback for the author. This is what I would consider 'harsh constructive criticism'. Which is probably the best possible way to review shitty stories.





*Either way it's none of my concern. I just asked out of pure curiosity.*


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> That's not even close to constructive criticism. There is literally not one thing in that review that would allow the author to benefit in any way. It focused completely on the negative aspects, and didn't provide a way for improvement or a solution to those problems. Giving a harsh review is one thing, but this review was just bashing no matter which way you look at it.
> 
> Its like insulting/harassing a fat kid in gym class about their weight. You may convince him to lose that weight, but you can't say you were a positive influence on them.


Meh, constructive criticism definitely wasn't my aim when I wrote that. The fic in question was an abomination. As much as I wanted to keep subjectivity out of it...it was impossible. But, thanks to your CC, I'll go back and add little bit of niceness :33


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

Oopsd, did I start something bad?  I apologize.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 26, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Oopsd, did I start something bad?  I apologize.


Let's just keep it in-house from now on. I feel we're clogging the thread now, and Tek will have our collective asses.

So, another peeve of mine:

Being told where my fic should go by people who obviously aren't writing it.


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## SaishuSoda (Feb 26, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Meh, constructive criticism definitely wasn't my aim when I wrote that. The fic in question was an abomination. As much as I wanted to keep subjectivity out of it...it was impossible. But, thanks to your CC, I'll go back and add little bit of niceness :33



Yeah, that's understandable. I come to this thread purely for the sake of bashing rage-worthy stories like that one. I was just wondering why that author (the one Itachifan posted) was desperately asking for criticism when the stories were apparently being reviewed.


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

I can't believe someone actually found our commu. 
still, they way they whine about it like a little two year old is...I mean, this special snowflake syndrome thing has apparently gotten into the internet too. Yes, your story can suck major balls even if you have millions or thousands of reviews; No one is exempt form this, not even the better authors on FF.net, so why should you be? Just because it's your first fic doesn't mean jack, neither if it's your 2324324325324th; If it's good, it will show in the QUALITY of reviews not the QUANTITY.

Derp, someone else is mad LOOOL.  


*Spoiler*: __ 



Hey thanks for the long review I admit some of it is pretty bad, but I have other stuff on my mind at the minute too, I will think about your criticism, but I just got to say one thing. DON'T BE SO HARSH! So what if some people cant write as well as you want, but who cares. Oh and btw I only put this up on here because my friends can't exactly read it anywhere else. Paper won't work since I can't exactly print it out because of my damn printer. Anyway who cares about that I just got one last thing to say... if you don't like the fic then don't read it... simple. My friends enjoy it and a bunch of other people do, so I will carry on writing it. I don't care if it 'gives you other OC writers a bad name' that's just life. Not everyone can write as well as you expect them to. It's all about the whether it's your sort of thing or not, like you said, you think highschool fics are boring well a lot of people out there like them. So next time you write a review for a fanfic, just remember it's ok to give constructive criticism, but don't be so damn harsh about it and if you do hate it, then keep to yourself. Practically no one wants to here you rant about something you hate. The only reason I read your terribly long review was because someone told me about it in one of my reviews.

Oh and frankly I saw your community or whatever it's called thing and how you single out the 'trash' Naruto fanfics. Well who gave you the right to say what's trash and what's not. You just sound like a very sad individual, who doesn't have anything better to do than read through a whole bunch of fanfics and write long harsh reviews on them. Next time you read a fanfic you dont like KEEP IT TO YOURSELF


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

As the lovely Tomcat pointed out, we seem to be drifting off topic.  If we can keep it to general things we dislike, I won't have to close the thread for derailment.

There are a few writers whose work I truly enjoy but they have little peccadilloes that are momentarily jarring.  Not enough to stop reading but always cause mild annoyance.  In particular, one writer says "he was one feet from her" or "he did a lot of training in the last one year."  The word "one" really isn't necessary but I think English isn't the author's first language and I don't have any beef with the rest of the story.   Just that little quirk.


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## Whirlpool (Feb 26, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> As the lovely Tomcat pointed out, we seem to be drifting off topic.  If we can keep it to general things we dislike, I won't have to close the thread for derailment.
> 
> There are a few writers whose work I truly enjoy but they have little peccadilloes that are momentarily jarring.  Not enough to stop reading but always cause mild annoyance.  In particular, one writer says "he was one feet from her" or "he did a lot of training in the last one year."  The word "one" really isn't necessary but I think English isn't the author's first language and I don't have any beef with the rest of the story.   Just that little quirk.



* In-twines figers and rests chin on them* And you do you enjoy


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> * In-twines figers and rests chin on them* And you do you enjoy



I'm not parsing what you said.


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

Sadly, that seems to be the case with most non-native English speakers. I've only come across a few who don't do the mistakes you listed. Sadly, most of those mistakes are done by Eng speakers as well, which is sad and not just for the naruto fandom either.


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

True.  There was a writer who had a pretty good story but the misspellings and grammatical errors were...painful.  I offered to beta but was turned down.  I ditched the story because I read for enjoyment, not to error-correct.


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

Really? What was it/who wrote it?


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

Oh, it's been so long ago, I really don't remember.  It was a basic "Sakura doesn't suck but isn't all super-powered" story.  Sakura could use more development, like Kishi started in the Sasori arc (then turned her back into a violent weepy teenaged girl), so I was intrigued.  Sadly, I just couldn't understand great chunks of it & clicked the X.


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## Whirlpool (Feb 26, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Oh, it's been so long ago, I really don't remember.  It was a basic "Sakura doesn't suck but isn't all super-powered" story.  Sakura could use more development, like Kishi started in the Sasori arc (then turned her back into a violent weepy teenaged girl), so I was intrigued.  Sadly, I just couldn't understand great chunks of it & clicked the X.



Tell me about it!

Sakura was amazing when she fought Sasori and gave off a very Heroine vibe. She showed people who doubted her how badass she was. After that... 

But then we got 'Piglets don't have hands' 



TekJounin said:


> I'm not parsing what you said.





I meant to say 'Who do you enjoy' A fault on my part, sorry...or 'Soz!'

Remember that word...'soz!' Miss WoW..

But then we got 'Piglets don't have hands'


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

Ahahaha, Kishimoto, goddamn you sometimes....

I've actually been wanting to try that kind of fic but Sakura really isn't that interesting to write about for me; I don't why.


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

According to Kishi, Sakura was supposed to be the "normal" one on the team.  The boys have major issues and she was supposed to be the balance.  I don't understand quite how that translates into "awesome" one minute and "useless" the next.  Since he let her kick ass before, why not let that be her brand of "normal?"  It's still less than the male teammates but not bad for someone with her years of training and skills.

It may be hard to write her because there is so little character development for her and what there is can be contradictory.  That's a peeve I have with the mangaka, as well as fan fiction writers.  We've been shown her potential and had it muddled to the point of meaninglessness.  And it's a shame.

Same with Tsunade.  One hell of a Hokage, regardless of gender.  But the current fight in the manga?  She's healing people.  Granted, that's her thing, but Kishi had better let her get her mojo started in the fighting, too.


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## Kezone (Feb 26, 2012)

I sometimes enjoy fics where Sakura becomes stronger- of only in will- but inly if it's well done and keeps the personality more or less the same.

EDIT: Oh, BTW, I think the C2 is fine as long as whenever we add a fic we give a long and helpful review to the author, more criticism then bashing. 'Caus isn't our goal to improve the general qaulity of fics or something along that line? Just putting them on a list that they don't think they deserve to be on it won't work unless they know where they went wrong and what they can do to improve. Or something like that.


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## Whirlpool (Feb 26, 2012)

KezoneShippuden said:


> I sometimes enjoy fics where Sakura becomes stronger- of only in will- but inly if it's well done and keeps the personality more or less the same.



Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, and Ino all join Akatsuki because the boys say bad stuff about them 

In other words;

The boys act so OOC that the girls decide to betray their village and their friends trust to join a group of killers who are out to kill Naruto and take over the world.

But it's okay, their actually nice


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, and Ino all join Akatsuki because the boys say bad stuff about them
> 
> In other words;
> 
> ...



I've seen those & avoid them.  It's usually a pairing spree and an excuse for unrealistic lemons.

There are several canon characters who we know little about but are used in fan fiction a lot.  Somehow, it's become a nearly universal thing that Genma is a ladies man and quite charming about it, as well as being light-hearted and cheerful.

Also, Shisui is generally a prankster who is also charming.  Since none of this behavior is canon, I can't say if it's OOC.  I do know that it generally works well in stories and I enjoy it.  Recent panel time in the manga has Genma being chastised for joking, so some of it could well be true.

What do you folks think?


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## Whirlpool (Feb 26, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I've seen those & avoid them.  It's usually a pairing spree and an excuse for unrealistic lemons.
> 
> There are several canon characters who we know little about but are used in fan fiction a lot.  Somehow, it's become a nearly universal thing that Genma is a ladies man and quite charming about it, as well as being light-hearted and cheerful.
> 
> ...



Genmas probably a sarcastic, joke-cracker, with a hint of Clint Eastwood


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## Kezone (Feb 26, 2012)

K11 girls joining Akatsuki? I've seen that far too often 

As for characters not shown much getting solid personalities? In my opinion it's only OOC after it's been shown how they behave, but while it's unconfirmed in cannon it isn't OOC. Same goes for events that haven't been touched on in cannon yet. If a fanfic writer comes up with a good explanation for Tobi to use in their fic right now, and it doesn't contradict canon, then it isn't AU. But if canon goes and then disproves it after it's written then it is.

Another thing I hate: Hand waving things like Sasuke returning to Konoha. When they don't at least provide a quick explanation of why he was let back it just keeps getting on my nerves the rest of the fic.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Feb 26, 2012)

lack of originality in terms of a plot.

always making kyuubi a girl, and giving her a human form, and pairing her with naruto. 

the stupid nicknames (dobe, kit, etc.)


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 26, 2012)

I usually equate demons like the bijuu as genderless and/or able to change gender at will; I mean, the foxes in myth can transform into all kinds of shit, so changing gender isn't that big of an issue for them I think. Besides, they love to trick people so why not set up a few 'traps' for the humans get some lolz.


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

That's true of kitsune but they are generally depicted as female.  The biggest problem with that scenario is that if the kyuubi were out and about, it would be a seething mass of hatred and overpowering chakra, not a cute little girly who seduced unsuspecting ninja.

And the voice in the series is undeniably male.  I know that Orochimaru had a female seiyuu but his character was only depicted as female during the Chuunin exam.  Even then, it was only a female body he occupied; he was still in charge and male.


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## SaishuSoda (Feb 26, 2012)

*Extremely cliche plot devices.*

Tripping and falling into the love interest. 
It has been done [insert large number here] times, and people never stop using it. I get it. It's a convenient way for the characters to get closer without one of them making a direct move, but it is quite annoying. I won't stop reading the story because of this, but I do wish the author would have gone on a road less traveled.

Amnesia
I avoid these types of stories since I see it as an excuse to make the character completely OOC. 

"Neji lost his memories on an S ranked mission, so now Team Gai has to help him! But what if he gets turned into a youth freak in the process!"


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## TekJounin (Feb 26, 2012)

Aaah!&nbsp; Yes, those are rampant.&nbsp; The worst is falling into the other person and kissing.&nbsp; Have the author's never kissed anyone or fallen on anything?&nbsp; All I can imagine is cut lips and cracked teeth.&nbsp; Nothing romantic about that.<br>


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## Dejablue (Feb 26, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> According to Kishi, Sakura was supposed to be the "normal" one on the team.  The boys have major issues and she was supposed to be the balance.  I don't understand quite how that translates into "awesome" one minute and "useless" the next.  Since he let her kick ass before, why not let that be her brand of "normal?"  It's still less than the male teammates but not bad for someone with her years of training and skills.
> 
> It may be hard to write her because there is so little character development for her and what there is can be contradictory.  That's a peeve I have with the mangaka, as well as fan fiction writers.  We've been shown her potential and had it muddled to the point of meaninglessness.  And it's a shame.
> 
> Same with Tsunade.  One hell of a Hokage, regardless of gender.  But the current fight in the manga?  She's healing people.  Granted, that's her thing, but Kishi had better let her get her mojo started in the fighting, too.




Turning female characters into medics seems to be the most convenient way to write a pesky woman out of the important fights. And still say "Well she's doing important stuff lololol"

I hate stories where the writer constantly calls Sakura "the pinkette" or "the pink haired girl"  same with calling Naruto "the blond" or "the whiskered boy"  Oh my God STOP CALLING THEM THESE THINGS!


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## TekJounin (Feb 27, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Turning female characters into medics seems to be the most convenient way to write a pesky woman out of the important fights. And still say "Well she's doing important stuff lololol"
> 
> I hate stories where the writer constantly calls Sakura "the pinkette" or "the pink haired girl"  same with calling Naruto "the blond" or "the whiskered boy"  Oh my God STOP CALLING THEM THESE THINGS!



I thoroughly agree to both points.  Shizune might have the best deal.  She's allowed to fight when needed.  I don't think I've ever seen her turn all weepy and useless, even during the Sannin fight.

And the coloration/body part references...I can see it a little, like "the blond" but only on occasion.  It does get dull using names over and over.  But making crap up, like "the pinkette," "the rosette," "the raven," etc. tweaks me out.


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## Dejablue (Feb 27, 2012)

I've read stories where hair color is used to describe the same character at least 10 times in ONE chapter. It it is frustrating beyond belief. Please just use their names.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Feb 27, 2012)

I'm fully aware of the folklore mind you. but if you look up kyuubi character stories you'll find tons of the same story over and over one after another. its like god can people really be this uncreative?


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## Kakashifan727 (Feb 27, 2012)

Yes, they can. I do admit it have called 'the blonde'  quite a lot, though i change it up every so often and use his name. i feel like we've talked about this before lol.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 27, 2012)

Sadly, I'm an offender in the colour identity fiasco, but that's because using someone's name at the start of, or within, every sentence over and over again makes it turn into a "Naruto went and... then Naruto said... then Naruto smiled and... Naruto wanted to..." etc. 

It uses the same word too much within a paragraph or section, and I try to avoid that at all costs. Reminds me of the 'IKEA' trope. I always try to mix up the descriptives instead of immediately going straight for the proper noun.


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## Van Basten (Feb 27, 2012)

Yuri and Yaoi fanfics with straight characters-- happens all the damn time with those genres. The whole switch up their orientation thing is plain retarded.

Also, Yaoi and Yuri in general, but that's another story...........


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## Sadako (Feb 27, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Sadly, I'm an offender in the colour identity fiasco, but that's because using someone's name at the start of, or within, every sentence over and over again makes it turn into a "Naruto went and... then Naruto said... then Naruto smiled and... Naruto wanted to..." etc.



While I definitely understand this, it's immensely irritating when the author goes the other way around, tries too hard and _never_ uses (for example) "Naruto" or "he" - only "the blonde", "the jinchuuriki" et c. One of my favourite authors does this all the time, and sometimes it annoys me to the point that I can't keep reading. Which sucks, because the fics are usually really good.


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## Tomcat171 (Feb 27, 2012)

Huh, I just went back to one of my more recent fic updates, and I can see that I was actually using the names _very_ regularly. Other than the sporadic use of 'her friend's' or 'her teammate's'.


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## Dejablue (Feb 28, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Sadly, I'm an offender in the colour identity fiasco, but that's because using someone's name at the start of, or within, every sentence over and over again makes it turn into a "Naruto went and... then Naruto said... then Naruto smiled and... Naruto wanted to..." etc.
> 
> It uses the same word too much within a paragraph or section, and I try to avoid that at all costs. Reminds me of the 'IKEA' trope. I always try to mix up the descriptives instead of immediately going straight for the proper noun.




I've decided to try and cut down on all of my "Naruto said"'s by flipping through a real book and checking how many times "said" is used.  It's not very often.


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## GrandUnification (Feb 28, 2012)

Poor grammar is easily the biggest turn off and is ever increasing these days. Seems to get harder and harder to find good fics..


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## Dejablue (Feb 29, 2012)

I've come across many stories that had good premises. And even seemed good when I skimmed them.  But the grammar and formatting was practically nonexistent. And that's usually why I'd stop.  Though these days i'll try and leave a comment telling them to fix obvious mistakes.


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## TheGreen1 (Mar 1, 2012)

Grammar is irritating. Same with misused words. I can't even count how many times I've seen "know" instead of "now" or "no".


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## South of Hell (Mar 1, 2012)

"thru"

Rage rage rage.


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## Dejablue (Mar 1, 2012)

Naruto and Sakura : Trapped in the drive thru 

This might have been brought up before. But I hate review farmers.  Most of you probably know what that is without me even explaining it.  Basically the lame-o's who say "You'll get a new chapter when I get 10 reviews"


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 1, 2012)

is it really that hard to come up with a decent original plot WITHOUT romance? and don't get me started on how ooc the akatsuki are always portrayed as. how about oh I dunno, making an actual crime fic about them? because you know, they are a group of criminals after all.

oh and relying on randomness instead of actual jokes to be funny.


----------



## Horu (Mar 1, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> is it really that hard to come up with a decent original plot WITHOUT romance?


Apparently


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 1, 2012)

I really want to shoot myself after quickly reading back over one of my last updates.

During one dialogue scene, I had Ino start _three_ consecutive sentences with, "Oh,". Damn it, how did I not see that when I first published it? .

Some may see it as a little thing, but just imagine somebody saying that aloud every time they begin to talk. You'd want to shut them up, wouldn't you? Grrr. Oh well, at least I know what to fix come my next update.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 1, 2012)

Horu said:


> Apparently



Every story must have romantic side plot! Tis my decree!



Tomcat171 said:


> I really want to shoot myself after quickly reading back over one of my last updates.
> 
> During one dialogue scene, I had Ino start _three_ consecutive sentences with, "Oh,". Damn it, how did I not see that when I first published it? .
> 
> Some may see it as a little thing, but just imagine somebody saying that aloud every time they begin to talk. You'd want to shut them up, wouldn't you? Grrr. Oh well, at least I know what to fix come my next update.



Thats why I'm on the hunt for an editor who's willing to deal with my slow updates.  Someone who will nitpick at odd things like that.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 1, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> is it really that hard to come up with a decent original plot WITHOUT romance? and don't get me started on how ooc the akatsuki are always portrayed as. how about oh I dunno, making an actual crime fic about them? because you know, they are a group of criminals after all.
> 
> oh and relying on randomness instead of actual jokes to be funny.



I actually find it very difficult to write romance.  Action/adventure with friendship as the main type of character relationships is much easier for me.  I cannot stand OOC Akatsuki.  When will these people ever understand that Akatsuki =/= nice guys?  I mean, can you name one Akatsuki member who did not betray allies/comrades in cold blood?  Maybe people will start doubting these guys a bit as Sasori's adding them to his puppet collection.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 1, 2012)

I THINK this fic has done it pretty well; but it does get mushy and blah later on. I still think it's pretty good though, considering most of the other Akatsuki shit i had to sort though today.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 1, 2012)

I can try really hard to picture an Akatsuki romance.  But in the end it just ends with one of them being dead...


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 1, 2012)

and fanon deidara, UUUGGGHHHH. i can't stand such annoyance. it reminds me of a child waving his arms around begging to be the center attention.

i do remember reading a semi decent super naruto fic 

kyuubi and naruto get along early, basically they slowly become one and naruto's form changes more and more like a fox. itachi comes back to the leaf and kills kisame, minato gets revived, naruto makes kyuubi a clone to live a life of his own, sasuke leaves and becomes part of akatsuki, naruto gets hiraishin from minato by just touching him, naruto also helps gaara become one with shukaku, it turns out sasuke is the hachibi carrier which is a snake, the akatsuki leader poisons naruto, naruto wakes up back in his dads house, naruto forms and anbu squad with minato, neji, kakashi, itachi and lee. i think they wanted to have akatsuki join them? I forget but that was as far as I ever read a super naruto fic.


----------



## Kezone (Mar 1, 2012)

The Akatsuki... *sigh* We could go on forever about their portrayal. I sometimes enjoy fics where they are redeemed, if it's done realistically. If it isn't then it is the fic is horrible.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 1, 2012)

ah here's what I was talking about. brings me back. but then again, looking at it now it looks like just another bad super fic, the corny cliche dialogue, the always pissed smart ass come backs from naruto, its all there


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 2, 2012)

Tried finding a decent Sasuke centric fanfiction today...

Every single one was either Sasuke being redeemed in the most unrealistic fashion by doing a complete 180 after a 2 sentence converstation, or having him be extremely OOC by begging for forgiveness from Sakura/Karin/Naruto/Konoha. I don't mind the author putting a personal twist on the characters, but that is just way too much.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 2, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Tried finding a decent Sasuke centric fanfiction today...


See you in a century's time when you actually find one


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 2, 2012)

Good luck finding anything char centric; it seems like most ppl don't bother to do research on the chars at all...lol


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 2, 2012)

My pet peeves:

1. OOC-ness (and all that entails) unless it's intended to be a parody.

2. Mary Sues/Gary Stues.

3. Turning an existing character into a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

4. Walls of text.

5. Bad grammar and spelling.

6. Excessive randomness instead of actual humour.

7. High school/rockband AUs. Ugh.

8. Changing an aspect of the character's appearance for no good reason (e.g. giving Sakura huge DD breasts).

9. Specifying the exact measurements of waistlines, bra-sizes, and penis size/length/girth.

10. Character bashing.

11. Smut written by virgins with no understanding of anatomy.

12. Fanon Deidara.

13. Author's notes in the middle of the story.

14. People that don't put warnings in their A/Ns. If a fic has potentially triggering content, you should warn for it.

15. Review whores.

There are more but I can't list them all or I'd be here all year.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 2, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> 7. High school/rockband AUs. Ugh.


Stay the hell away from one of my fics, then . Just giving you a fair warning.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 2, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Stay the hell away from one of my fics, then . Just giving you a fair warning.



Ughhh....

even though they're badly written, with the characters OOC and OC's are mary/gary-stus the thing that pisses me off when they say they like 'Punk rock' and i get shit like green day and red jumpsuit appartus or 'metal' and you get three days grace or skillet 

Or some shit like that


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 2, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Ughhh....
> 
> even though they're badly written, with the characters OOC and OC's are mary/gary-stus the thing that pisses me off when they say they like 'Punk rock' and i get shit like green day and red jumpsuit appartus or 'metal' and you get three days grace or skillet
> 
> Or some shit like that


True, true. I only gave one hint as to the coming music genre (metal) based on a poster in a club, but I didn't go the pansy route (A7X etc.), I was using Scar Symmetry and Unearth.

Hate on me all you want 

Also, I just got a new review on a different fic, and it ended with this:


> The ONLY complaint I have about this story (and some others) is your chapters are TOO LOOONG.


FFS...

Why do people not like longer chapters (I'm talking approx 10k words per)? Does it hurt your poor baby eyes? Are you upset that it won't be a quick read, like you're used to?

Granted, the chapter this review focusses on in question is near 14k, but that's because it's a scene-setter.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 2, 2012)

I'm normally stay away from AU fanfics because the chances of it being terrible are increased  by 300%. 



Whirlpool said:


> Ughhh....
> 
> even though they're badly written, with the characters OOC and OC's are mary/gary-stus the thing that pisses me off when they say they like 'Punk rock' and i get shit like green day and red jumpsuit appartus or 'metal' and you get three days grace or skillet
> 
> Or some shit like that


I die a little inside everytime this happens. Especially people who say they are a 'metal' fan, when the only music they listen to is Linkin Park and Trapt.


----------



## CandleGuy (Mar 2, 2012)

The thing about Super Naruto fics is (nowadays, I understand years ago it was ridiculous) that it's almost impossible not to have super Naruto (in terms of power levels) if you're following currently canon. With the exception of making him a super smart calculating Itachi clone.

Naruto is practically RS now and will likely be by manga's end. He's perhaps repetitive in a fight but not retarded, as he  can come up with successful on-the-spot tactics IF he's in a serious fight. (The recent Nagato soul sucking and Kiba fart notwithstanding) Naruto's stupidity is mostly in regards to social interactions. 

So I'm not sure how anyone following canon can avoid super Naruto. I don't necessarily mind it though it make it very difficult to create villains or set-up fight he won't blow through.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 2, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> I'm normally stay away from AU fanfics because the chances of it being terrible are increased  by 300%.
> 
> 
> I die a little inside everytime this happens. Especially people who say they are a 'metal' fan, when the only music they listen to is Linkin Park and Trapt.



I refrain the urge to ump out windows...

Now THIS is music 

[YOUTUBE]7U1aUt7kd8M[/YOUTUBE]

Jesse Cox


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 2, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Stay the hell away from one of my fics, then . Just giving you a fair warning.



I won't judge you for it. I rarely read complete AUs anyway. I learned the hard way. 



Whirlpool said:


> Ughhh....
> 
> even though they're badly written, with the characters OOC and OC's are mary/gary-stus the thing that pisses me off when they say they like 'Punk rock' and i get shit like green day and red jumpsuit appartus or 'metal' and you get three days grace or skillet
> 
> Or some shit like that



As I don't write AUs (or...anything these days -- writer's block), it's never been a problem for me, but in modern age fandoms, I leave all musical taste out of it.



CandleGuy said:


> The thing about Super Naruto fics is (nowadays, I understand years ago it was ridiculous) that it's almost impossible not to have super Naruto (in terms of power levels) if you're following currently canon. With the exception of making him a super smart calculating Itachi clone.
> 
> Naruto is practically RS now and will likely be by manga's end. He's perhaps repetitive in a fight but not retarded, as he  can come up with successful on-the-spot tactics IF he's in a serious fight. (The recent Nagato soul sucking and Kiba fart notwithstanding) Naruto's stupidity is mostly in regards to social interactions.
> 
> So I'm not sure how anyone following canon can avoid super Naruto. I don't necessarily mind it though it make it very difficult to create villains or set-up fight he won't blow through.



I don't really read Naruto-centric fics anyway, so I thankfully I avoid most of the SuperNaruto fics.

That is difficult. It depends though, if you're focusing more on Naruto as a fighter or if the fic is character-centric. If you're going down the lots of fight scenes route, the only thing I can think of would be to fill the rest of the story with more Man vs Himself plots that no amount of sheer power could help with, then you'd be sort of negating his NaruStu status.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 2, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> I won't judge you for it. I rarely read complete AUs anyway. I learned the hard way. .



I read Tomcats music-fic, was pretty good. He was the drummer of a small-time metal band right? At least he wsn't a gary-stu singer singing nickleback/linkin park  Although the plot didn't rely on music, mostly the fact that Ino was suprised that a dork like N-man was a badass drummer.

You underestimate yourself Tomcat  Your one of the rare good fanfic writers  You actually made me enjoy a music-fic.

That's pretty rare


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 2, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I read Tomcats music-fic, was pretty good. He was the drummer of a small-time metal band right? At least he wsn't a gary-stu singer singing nickleback/linkin park  Although the plot didn't rely on music, mostly the fact that Ino was suprised that a dork like N-man was a badass drummer.
> 
> You underestimate yourself Tomcat  Your one of the rare good fanfic writers  You actually made me enjoy a music-fic.
> 
> That's pretty rare



I'm extremely baised.  Overexposure to some godawful badfics does that to you. I stick to a small, small corner of the fandom these days.



Tomcat171 said:


> Why do people not like longer chapters (I'm talking approx 10k words per)? Does it hurt your poor baby eyes? Are you upset that it won't be a quick read, like you're used to?
> 
> Granted, the chapter this review focusses on in question is near 14k, but that's because it's a scene-setter.



For the record, I generally prefer longer chapters. :33


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 2, 2012)

....Brutal Legend? Really?  Why isn't this in the crossover section?

And look what I found in the fic:

_They saw some teenager walking to the village gates, but he was dressed rather oddly for a teenager in these times, he seemed to be wearing all black with chains coming out of his pockets, he wasn't wearing a shirt, but he was wearing a jacket showing some type of skull with wings with the symbols *A7X* printed on it, and to top it off, he was carrying a odd looking instrument with him._



Is there such thing as a good "God-Mode" fic? I'm just wondering....


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 2, 2012)

^ There isn't.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 2, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> ....Brutal Legend? Really?  Why isn't this in the crossover section?



I stopped reading here. :sanji

*Spoiler*: __ 





> "I assure you, I will not do THAT, but I was told to look at your chakra system anyway, so can I get on with it?" He said while remaining his serious attitude.
> 
> "On one condition, try not to be so serious, and chill out man." He said while talking in some weird voice.
> 
> ...






It's another one of those 'I just got warped into the Naruto universe, and convinently obtained power greater than even the bijuus! Feel free to wank off to me the main character!' 




> Is there such thing as a good "God-Mode" fic? I'm just wondering....


Not that I know of. I normally just write them all off as abominations to be honest.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 2, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I read Tomcats music-fic...


I died of embarrassment 


> ...was pretty good.


I came back to life  


> At least he wsn't a gary-stu singer singing nickleback/linkin park


Some reviewers said that it was that kind of...ahem..._metal_ they were expecting...


> You underestimate yourself Tomcat


I hate myself, really  Nah, just overly self-critical.


> Your one of the rare good fanfic writers  You actually made me enjoy a music-fic.
> 
> That's pretty rare


Coming from someone posting in a thread for the purpose of hating on fics, that means a lot 

Just a quick question:
If a fic involves music, but the story itself isn't written to emulate a set of lyrics, is it still technically a songfic?


----------



## Horu (Mar 2, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Every story must have romantic side plot! Tis my decree!


Another member with a mid-2006 join date.

Another member with only 900-some posts since then.

FINALLY SOMEBODY JUST LIKE ME ON THIS FORUM!

And it ends up being a traitor


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 2, 2012)

Lol  I think that is because I usually only prowl around FC's which don't add to post count.  Though I joined in 2006.  I didn't start posting regularly until recently.

Hmm another Pet Peeve of mine.

Fanfiction where the writer creates Hyuuga clan members and every one of them have names that start with H.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 2, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Lol  I think that is because I usually only prowl around FC's which don't add to post count.  Though I joined in 2006.  I didn't start posting regularly until recently.
> 
> Hmm another Pet Peeve of mine.
> 
> Fanfiction where the writer creates Hyuuga clan members and every one of them have names that start with H.



But it's Hyuuga law. Your name must begin with 'H'

Hanabi,
Hiashi,
Hinata,
Hizashi,

Why do you think branch members such as 'Ko' and Neji are outcasts


----------



## Dragon (Mar 2, 2012)

I think that the one think I can't stand of a Naruto fan fiction is OOCness. Actually, in any fan fiction of whatever story/movie/game/etc , characters Out Of Character are obviously not credible. I mean, I want to read a story that makes me believe that the things you write actually happen, not that you are a 10 year old who can't write properly. I don't know, that's just my opinion on the matter.

Now, about grammar and spelling, my first language is not English so I'm no one to judge on that but as long as I can read the story without face-desking, I'm alright.


----------



## lacey (Mar 2, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Just a quick question:
> If a fic involves music, but the story itself isn't written to emulate a set of lyrics, is it still technically a songfic?



To me, if music is involved in a story in one way or another (emulating lyrics, quoting lyrics), I usually consider it a song fic. 

The only exception is if the title, and first line is a song lyric. For example, anytime I write a story, the title, and first line is a lyric from the song I was listening to when I wrote it.


Ex;

On The Edge...

_...I look in._

/rest of the story


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 2, 2012)

Hiashi Hyuuga said





> "Umm, okay, anyway BYAKUGAN!"


???!!! augh!


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 2, 2012)

^Yeah, I cringed a bit on that line of dialouge. I just can't see someone like Hiashi being meek aroound anyone, and especially not to some random wannabe smart ass.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 2, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> ^Yeah, I cringed a bit on that line of dialouge. I just can't see someone like Hiashi being meek around anyone, and especially not to some random wannabe smart ass.



But, the kid has a magic guitar.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 2, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Hiashi Hyuuga said???!!! augh!




Lol what is that OoC moment from?

edit: Oh wait nevermind I see it


----------



## lacey (Mar 2, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Hiashi Hyuuga said???!!! augh!



Uuuugh. I want to ram my head into a wall.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 2, 2012)

> "Well, it seems your Chakra system...





> "Well, it seems it has its own Chakra system...





> "Well, it seems your guitar has...





> "Well it seems you have only lightning...


Jesus bloody shitting Christ....

Well, it seems...this author doesn't know how to mix things up a bit  x 100000

At least now I _definitely_ know not to do that again in my own fics, as reading the same sentence starter as a non-author just makes me realise how shit it looks...


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

also word count. if it isnt even passed 1000 words NOT COUNTING authors notes than its better off not read.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 3, 2012)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ETO6k7gSA&ob=av3e[/YOUTUBE]


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 3, 2012)

And that's relevant to a fanfic conversation....how?


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> also word count. if it isnt even passed 1000 words NOT COUNTING authors notes than its better off not read.


I usually set it at 40k, but I suppose it depends on your attention span.


Tomcat171 said:


> Jesus bloody shitting Christ....
> 
> Well, it seems...this author doesn't know how to mix things up a bit  x 100000


It depends.

Though it's certainly out of character for Hiashi, there's some people who have similar speaking habits. I was explaining something to somebody for a class last semester and the guy kept confirming what I was explaining by saying "so basically..." and then restating what he got out of it. The person next in line after him made a joke about it, but he must have said it at least 30 times in 30 minutes. So it can be legitimate, and what occurs in quotes can sometimes be excused as character quirks rather than bad authoring.

Not to defend the quoted material.

Just saying that, in general, I'd rather have characters be realistic than "properly" tweaked for authors'/readers' peeves. A story full of people speaking perfectly edited dialogue just doesn't ring true.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

Horu said:


> Though it's certainly out of character for Hiashi, there's some people who have similar speaking habits. I was explaining something to somebody for a class last semester and the guy kept confirming what I was explaining by saying "so basically..." and then restating what he got out of it. The person next in line after him made a joke about it, but he must have said it at least 30 times in 30 minutes. So it can be legitimate, and what occurs in quotes can sometimes be excused as character quirks rather than bad authoring.
> 
> Not to defend the quoted material.
> 
> Just saying that, in general, I'd rather have characters be realistic than "properly" tweaked for authors'/readers' peeves. A story full of people speaking perfectly edited dialogue just doesn't ring true.



I guess my reaction was based on my concept of Hiashi.  If the author meant for him to be OOC, that's different.  And I expect I'd avoid reading the work if the author felt the need to make such a prim and proper Clan head talk like a teenaged girl.  Who knows what else they'd have him do?  Twirl his hair around his finger and giggle?  Say "whatevs" and blow bubbles?

A more expected response from Hiashi would be more along the lines of "I see.  Byakugan."

By saying you'd prefer characters to be "realistic" rather than "proper," do you mean you'd rather they speak in modern vernacular as opposed to canon portrayals?


----------



## GaijanGeisha (Mar 3, 2012)

Rape stories and pregnagncies thrown into a story for no apparent  reason are a fanfic pet peeve of mine...I also hate when people use "manhood" and "womanhood" to refer to a character's genitals.  It's like, what kind of ten year old smutty romance novels have you been reading, XD.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 3, 2012)

GaijanGeisha said:


> I also hate when people use "manhood"


What about "embodiment of his passion"? 

Yeah, I used that once


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

GaijanGeisha said:


> Rape stories and pregnagncies thrown into a story for no apparent  reason are a fanfic pet peeve of mine...I also hate when people use "manhood" and "womanhood" to refer to a character's genitals.  It's like, what kind of ten year old smutty romance novels have you been reading, XD.





Tomcat171 said:


> What about "embodiment of his passion"?
> 
> Yeah, I used that once



It's a little tricky finding ways to talk about genitalia without sounding like a biology textbook or utter trash, so I understand the euphemisms people tend to use.

A lemon would be rather different if people used strictly technical terms while trying to convey passion.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 3, 2012)

Painis cupcake


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> By saying you'd prefer characters to be "realistic" rather than "proper," do you mean you'd rather they speak in modern vernacular as opposed to canon portrayals?


Not necessarily.

In this case, you're right, that manner of speaking doesn't suit Hiashi or someone of his noble position at all.

In the other case, the guy I mentioned was somebody straight out of high school who wasn't exactly sure what he was doing at college except that people said he was supposed to be there.

I was just talking about characters in general when I said that.

When it comes to working with existing characters, then yes I think there's an obligation to keep them in character unless you go to great lengths to change their circumstances or development.

But for other characters, I wouldn't rule out a redundant manner of speaking on the basis of grammatical correctness if it's truly how people like that may speak.

That's all.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

at first i found kurama calling naruto 'kit' cute, but then it got mainstream and suddenly everyone started using it, to the point where its lost its impact for me. its just another name now.


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

Eh, that just makes me think Naruto is something that needs to be assembled.

It sounded like that the first time I heard and it still sounds like that now.

I'll never get used to it.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> What about "embodiment of his passion"?
> 
> Yeah, I used that once



What about "the silk-sheathed steel that proclaimed him male"?  It exists.  Though it was brought up on a badfic com. so I have no idea where it originally came from.


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> What about "the silk-sheathed steel that proclaimed him male"?


That's... actually really funny, and I would read a love scene if the entire thing was _that_ over-the-top.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

whenever i see a fic summery talking about the same plot you've heard before like "naruto gets a second chance from the gods," or "time travel", etc, it makes me want to flame them and say "GET CREATIVE"

you know it says unleash your imagination on the site, not take others ideas and re post it.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

Horu said:


> Not necessarily.
> 
> In this case, you're right, that manner of speaking doesn't suit Hiashi or someone of his noble position at all.
> 
> ...



Oh, you meant the "so basically" guy?  I know people who talk like that but they're generally from the "active listening" mindset, where they've been told to repeat (usually in their own words) what someone said.  It's supposed to clear up any ambiguity and give positive affirmation to the original speaker that people are taking great interest in what they say.  I find it kind of weird but will admit that I've done it when someone says something that confuses me and I'm trying to make sure we're on the same page about the subject.

I guess I never thought about "kit" as in "assembly required," since baby foxes are called kits.  But it made me giggle to read your post.  In a way, Naruto is being assembled into a fine ninja, so I'm gonna keep that in mind.  



Rouge Angle said:


> What about "the silk-sheathed steel that proclaimed him male"?  It exists.  Though it was brought up on a badfic com. so I have no idea where it originally came from.



I like that better than "his throbbing love muscle."


----------



## Spock (Mar 3, 2012)

It is more irritating when they write "dick, penis, balls" blatantly...

There are smart authors who imply to that private part in a very clever way that you won't feel awkward or annoyed while reading a lemon. Nothing comes to my mind right now but ya.


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Oh, you meant the "so basically" guy?  I know people who talk like that but they're generally from the "active listening" mindset, where they've been told to repeat (usually in their own words) what someone said.  It's supposed to clear up any ambiguity and give positive affirmation to the original speaker that people are taking great interest in what they say.  I find it kind of weird but will admit that I've done it when someone says something that confuses me and I'm trying to make sure we're on the same page about the subject.


Yeah, except I wasn't asking him to do that, but, whatever.

It just brings up the point that dialogue's one of those things that's ridiculously hard to balance.

On one hand, you can't simply dictate actual conversation word-for-word. One of my writing teachers had our class do an experiment where we went to social areas around campus and did exactly that to see what kind of a result we'd get. Very few people had anything that would make tolerable reading.

On the other hand, people rarely speak in the finespun narrative style that makes for good storytelling outside of dialogue, so the rules of writing believable speech are quite different from the rules of writing effective narratives.

And oddly enough, dialogue written in the style of vivid narratives can be just as unnatural and ineffective as the lamebrain dialogue on the other end of the scale. In particular, when the characters have the same "voice" as the author, they fail to stand out as their own unique personas and instead become nothing more than a redundant extension of the one telling the story.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

Horu said:


> Yeah, except I wasn't asking him to do that, but, whatever.
> 
> It just brings up the point that dialogue's one of those things that's ridiculously hard to balance.
> 
> ...



I'll agree.  Each character has a fairly unique speech pattern and managing to make the character true to that style in a fan fiction is fairly essential, unless it's an AU or there is a solid storyline as to why they would depart from their established ways.

Having Naruto suddenly start staying things like "I noticed the wonderous oranges and striking pinks as the sun crested the horizon.  It reminded me of the bond we share as members of Team 7." would be terribly OOC.  Having the narrator describe the scene and then having Naruto say "When I see a sunrise like that, it reminds me of our bond as a team." would be closer to the mark.


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

You know, that's a great example 

But it makes the point. You really have to be able to speak in a variety of voices if you're even going to write a few characters.

Too many stories I've read lately have had nearly every character speak identically, and it's even worse when most everybody is always agreeing with each other because it shows that not only has the author not given consideration to voicing, they haven't even given their characters their own mindsets.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> whenever i see a fic summery talking about the same plot you've heard before like "naruto gets a second chance from the gods," or "time travel", etc, it makes me want to flame them and say "GET CREATIVE"
> 
> you know it says unleash your imagination on the site, not take others ideas and re post it.



There is no such thing as a completely original idea, but those are big time cliches. Not to mention GodNaruto fics. Which I personally hate. 



Horu said:


> That's... actually really funny, and I would read a love scene if the entire thing was _that_ over-the-top.



It was actually.  It's a shame it didn't say where they got it from or I would've read it for the lulz.



Eli said:


> It is more irritating when they write "dick, penis, balls" blatantly...
> 
> There are smart authors who imply to that private part in a very clever way that you won't feel awkward or annoyed while reading a lemon. Nothing comes to my mind right now but ya.



I agree there are authors that can write it in a way that doesn't make you cringe. But it's a very YMMV thing.



TekJounin said:


> I'll agree.  Each character has a fairly unique speech pattern and managing to make the character true to that style in a fan fiction is fairly essential, unless it's an AU or there is a solid storyline as to why they would depart from their established ways.





Horu said:


> Too many stories I've read lately have had nearly every character speak identically, and it's even worse when most everybody is always agreeing with each other because it shows that not only has the author not given consideration to voicing, *they haven't even given their characters their own mindsets*.



Agree with this totally. As for the bolded-- if the author is going to use a character as a mouthpiece to put across their own personal views, they should at least pick a character who expresses similar ideals.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

And keeping a character in character doesn't mean repeating cliche lines: "Troublesome," "penis," etc.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> And keeping a character in character doesn't mean repeating cliche lines: "Troublesome," "penis," etc.



Sasuke never said "Dobe" that much in the series than he says in fanfiction.



Eli said:


> It is more irritating when they write "dick, penis, balls" blatantly...
> 
> There are smart authors who imply to that private part in a very clever way that you won't feel awkward or annoyed while reading a lemon. Nothing comes to my mind right now but ya.


I find "Inner mounds" a rather funny example.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

^^Or outright copy/pasting lines from the manga. Divergence? They appear not to have heard of it.

Also as a follow up to my last post, I thought of another one-- Reader's/reviewers that always assume the narrator is completely reliable and that the characters' views must be the author's views.


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## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

^ That one accounts for half the topics in the Library.


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## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> ^^Or outright copy/pasting lines from the manga. Divergence? They appear not to have heard of it.
> 
> Also as a follow up to my last post, I thought of another one-- Reader's/reviewers that always assume the narrator is completely reliable and that the characters' views must be the author's views.



I remember upsetting one gal who didn't take it well when I told her that Shukaku was the bijuu and if Gaara had Shikaku sealed inside him, Shikamaru had a big surprise coming.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I remember upsetting one gal who didn't take it well when I told her that Shukaku was the bijuu and if Gaara had Shikaku sealed inside him, Shikamaru had a big surprise coming.



 And this is why proofreading is important.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

oh I found a good one. sakura turning a 180 on naruto after the sasuke retrieval arc, naruto actually succeeds, but one glance at a beaten up sasuke, sakura forgets her thoughts of naruto after he left the front gates and _hates_ naruto with ever fiber of her being. totally unrealistic.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 3, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> oh I found a good one. sakura turning a 180 on naruto after the sasuke retrieval arc, naruto actually succeeds, but one glance at a beaten up sasuke, sakura forgets her thoughts of naruto after he left the front gates and _hates_ naruto with ever fiber of her being. totally unrealistic.


You've pretty much encompassed 75% of NaruHina and Sakura-bashing fics there


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> And this is why proofreading is important.



She actually got angry with me and wouldn't fact check or correct it.  I gave up.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

which is one of the reasons why i hate the pairing but thats another story

you don't have to bash sakura to get another pairing in.

there's this one fic where naruto becomes raikage set after part 1...i dont know HOW you could possibly make any sense in that.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> She actually got angry with me and wouldn't fact check or correct it.  I gave up.



There's no reasoning with some people. Have you ever encountered one of those authors that has a big notice on their fics saying they don't want any critique or anything but 100% positive feedback?


----------



## Horu (Mar 3, 2012)

^ Proper response to "NO FLAMING!" should be "NO POSTING!"


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

^ Oh absolutely. If you share it on the internet, you're opening yourself to flames/critique and possibly praise. It's part of the deal.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> There's no reasoning with some people. Have you ever encountered one of those authors that has a big notice on their fics saying they don't want any critique or anything but 100% positive feedback?



I have.  I don't give them feedback, as a rule.  And the ones that demand feedback as ransom for a new chapter with get nothing as well.  Which is sometimes a shame.

I wish more people who favorite my stories would say something but I don't ask.  I write for myself, so anything I get is a bonus.  It would just be nice to see what people do or don't like sometimes.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

putting japanese words in with english. nuff said.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I remember upsetting one gal who didn't take it well when I told her that Shukaku was the bijuu and if Gaara had Shikaku sealed inside him, Shikamaru had a big surprise coming.



 





Dat name!  

And I think that the author's ending notes are longer than the chapters themselves.



> putting japanese words in with english. nuff said.



QFT 

I can't stand that.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 3, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> putting japanese words in with english. nuff said.



I don't mind some, if it's a cultural reference or concept that would be awkward to translate as casual speaking.  

Some people also put the Japanese names of foods in their stories and although I dislike interrupting the story to look them up, I do because I like to know and generally it's something I am completely unfamiliar with, so it's helpful.

But there are English words for "thank you," "sorry," "idiot," etc. and it's probably not necessary to use the Japanese words.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I have.  I don't give them feedback, as a rule.  And the ones that demand feedback as ransom for a new chapter with get nothing as well.  Which is sometimes a shame.



Yeah they get nothing from me either. The fact that they feel _that_ entitled to reviews is almost on par with reviewers who think the author is their bitch (thankfully never happened to me) and will change the story/add the reviewer's favourite pairings/whatever just because they ask.



> I wish more people who favorite my stories would say something but I don't ask.  I write for myself, so anything I get is a bonus.  It would just be nice to see what people do or don't like sometimes.



This is my exact attitude.  As I rule if I favourite something it means I really like it, so it's only fair to let the author know why.



bloodplzkthxlol said:


> putting japanese words in with english. nuff said.



I agree with this to an extent, but don't mind Japanese for fandom-specific terms like jutsu names and words that just don't translate. Suffixes are okay too.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 3, 2012)

i always found cute>kawaii anyway.


----------



## lacey (Mar 3, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> What about "the silk-sheathed steel that proclaimed him male"?  It exists.  Though it was brought up on a badfic com. so I have no idea where it originally came from.



Story was probably deleted; Google couldn't give me anything other than this thread, haha.

Oh my god though; I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. Probably all.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

^ It probably was yeah. And those are all very viable options. I was torn between hysterical laughter and head-desking.


----------



## lacey (Mar 3, 2012)

Admittedly though, I prefer it over something like "cock." I fucking _hate_ that word.

I usually end up using something like "shaft" or "length" though I suppose maybe they're a bit...odd?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 3, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> Admittedly though, I prefer it over something like "cock." I fucking _hate_ that word.


If I'm reading a lemon, I don't mind its use. But when I'm the one writing it, I try my best to avoid it at all costs.

*Spoiler*: _To quote one of my A/Ns_ 






> ...but I have a problem with writing immaturely. By 'immaturely', I mean like this: "He 'X'ed his 'Y' inside her wet 'Z' and pounded her so hard into the ground that she was tasting the centre of the Earth."


Dirty words have been replaced...



Such simplicity annoys me...


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 3, 2012)

^^ It's a very YMMV thing I guess. I think it sounds kinda crude if people use words like cock excessively (every single time it's mentioned being my definition), saying it once or twice I don't really have a problem with. But I don't read that many lengthy sex scenes so...yeah.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 3, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> Admittedly though, I prefer it over something like "cock." I fucking _hate_ that word.
> 
> I usually end up using something like "shaft" or "length" though I suppose maybe they're a bit...odd?



Length sounds odd.



Tomcat171 said:


> If I'm reading a lemon, I don't mind its use. But when I'm the one writing it, I try my best to avoid it at all costs.
> 
> *Spoiler*: _To quote one of my A/Ns_



I see things like that all the time. People should be a bit more creative.

But, that silk sheathed steel thing still has me laughin'. It sounds like something that would be in one of Jiraiya's books.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 3, 2012)

I agree, it is annoying as hell when people constantly use romaji in their fanfictions. 

*Spoiler*: _Good example of putting romaji in English fanfics_ 





> "I stopped by a shop and got these, and thought you would like them." The blonde proceeded to show the kunoichi a pair of sparkling green earrings he took from his shuriken pouch. He couldn't help but notice the pink haired kunoichi's eyes light up and were now shining as brightly as his gift. "Here you go Sakura-chan." He said with a grin from ear to ear.
> 
> The kunoichi was taken back by Naruto's action, but found the time to take the gift.* "A-Ara, Kawaii. Domo arigato gozaimasu* Naruto kun." She replied while fighting back the tint of pink that threatened to form on her cheeks. Her *baka* of a teamate did have his rare moments, but she couldn't let him know that.
> 
> ...





Some authors have no idea how irritating this is for people who practice both languages.


----------



## CandleGuy (Mar 3, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> I agree, it is annoying as hell when people constantly use romaji in their fanfictions.
> 
> Some authors have no idea how irritating this is for people who practice both languages.



Ugh that's terrible


----------



## lacey (Mar 3, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> ^^ It's a very YMMV thing I guess. I think it sounds kinda crude if people use words like cock excessively (every single time it's mentioned being my definition), saying it once or twice I don't really have a problem with. But I don't read that many lengthy sex scenes so...yeah.



I just hate it because it's so _abrasive._ There's no letter between the "c" and "o" to make it more smooth sounding. "Clock," for example, has the "l" in the front, which gives it a nice slurring sound that disrupts the abruptness of the lack of it. 

"Penis" doesn't really bother me, honestly. It's the original word for it, and it's a lot less sharp/harsh sounding.



Baby Joe said:


> Length sounds odd.



I suppose it does, but there really isn't a large list of words I can pick from. The day I use "cucumber" is the day I die.



> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> 
> ...but I have a problem with writing immaturely. By 'immaturely', I mean like this: "He 'X'ed his 'Y' inside her wet 'Z' and pounded her so hard into the ground that she was tasting the centre of the Earth."



I avoid things like that like the plague. It sounds so tasteless to me. 

To quote one of mine;

*Spoiler*: __ 



"He remembered his body shivering in monumental bliss as tiny gasps mewed from her lips, the friction in between heating the air surrounding them. He found himself diving faster, _faster_, as her breathing became more frantic, and her nails dug shallow cuts into his back and neck."




As for the romaj, I agree. It's so jarring and annoying, and it takes away from the entire thing. :/


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 4, 2012)

Oh lol sex scenes.  I know there is like an actual list of authors known for their terrible sex scenes.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 4, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Oh lol sex scenes.  I know there is like an actual list of authors known for their terrible sex scenes.



I call wilkins75.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 4, 2012)

wilkins75
Raptorcloak
SkyMaiden
Mickie-From-Ireland


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## Baby Joe (Mar 4, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> wilkins75
> Raptorcloak
> SkyMaiden
> Mickie-From-Ireland



I've gotta check them out.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 4, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Mickie-From-Ireland



NaruFemKyuu spam


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 4, 2012)

I might check those out for the lulz


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 4, 2012)

*Naruto: Hey man! What's? Shit, what's up again?

Darthemius: ?

Naruto: Oh, come on, it can't be that bad, can it?

Darthemius: Wha?? Oh, sorry. No, it's not bad. I just? found out what douchebag is.

Naruto: Oh really? And?

Darthemius: And it was more than I wanted to know?

Naruto: Well, at least you know what it is now. Say, people have been asking when EHD 2 will come out. Can you give any clarification on that?

Darthemius: I can, but I won't. Now let's?

Naruto: Hey, man?

Darthemius: What?

Naruto: Am I seeing things or what? Look there.

Darthemius (Turning his head): What the fuck?

Neo (Appearing out of nowhere): I'm in.

Darthemius: Yeah, you're in some deep shit if you won't tell who you fucking are and how you got in here!

Neo: Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Neo? Was anyone looking for me?

Tree seconds of silence?

Darthemius: Get this bitch!

Naruto: On it! (Slamming Neo through the wall)

Darthemius: Shit, my wall? Still it was worth it.

Anyway, I wanted to thank all the people who took their time to explain to me what douchebag is. And you know, I really feel proud right now. Why? Well, it's because someone actually defended me against a bad reviewer.

By the way, don't mind that girl. Yeah, a person by the name Kakashifan? something is a girl that just doesn't appreciates dark stories.

But enough about her, I wanted to talk about everyone who spoke in this story's defense. I really appreciate it, people.

And Alex Mercer? If you're reading this of course? I'm really glad that you were defending me with such passion, but? Could you please type my name correctly next time? Thank you.

Anyway, here's your fucking chapter. Enjoy?*

That's the introduction fpr his new chapter


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 4, 2012)

^  The hell is that? Some kind of Naruto/Matrix/other-thing-that-I-don't-know crossover?

Also: 





Whirlpool said:


> Neo: Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Neo? Was anyone looking for me?



For some reason that really got me.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 4, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I've gotta check them out.


wilkins: Pff

Raptor: Doesn't know how to use commas, writes the same scene for just about every different fic and in the form of .

SkyMaiden: Sure, writes an abundance of NI lemons, but they're constructed of almost entirely single sentence-paragraphs and ridiculous AU situations.

Mikie: Obsessed with NaruFemKyuu.

In general: It's between  and 

One of the examples from the fan fiction section of the IKEA Erotica page goes like this:


> legolas by laura: "and then one of the orcs striped her and then he raped her and then laura said 'go away you bastard'."





> That's more like IKEA _writing_. It could just as easily been "and then she stabed the orc and he fel on the floor and then she ran away."


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 4, 2012)

That's on the same level of what my younger sister can come up with.
Poor girl needs a tutor

I don't want to think about smut that those authors (If you can even call them that ) must write. 

The randomly placed Japanese words are also very irritating.
Things like "dobe" and "teme" are okay with me because they're more like nicknames for the characters but "baka" and the like just hurts my brain.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> *Naruto: Hey man! What's… Shit, what's up again?
> 
> Darthemius: …
> 
> ...



Okay, apparently when he said he'd let bygones be bygones, that meant do this,eh? Time to rip him a new one~  *cracks knuckles* Anyone else interested, PM me so we don't interrupt the thread.

As for the romanji thing, I don't find "Oi" as big deal. I mean, it's not that different from "Oy" Oh", to bother me.

LLOLOLOLLOLLLL~

Someone tried to defend this tard:


*Spoiler*: __ 



To kakashifan 727- are you fucking crazy you think every auther write like canon you biggest pile of motherfucking monkey crap you are a guy who dont even have a reveiw over 200 dont even have rite to coment other.this guys story is far more better storys then your and ALEX MEANS FAR MORE.i spend days sarch a story ilke this and you come out from nowere and says that all authars are need to write like canon what the fuck.this is fanfic for some reson you fucking shit.people writing storys beacouse they annoyed by lame plot or inspire by a great plot.readin storys here more intresting then reading manga.this guy have more review beacouse this guys story millions time good then yours so next time before coment others first you look over your amount of review.i says always an i say now YOUR STORY IS FUCKING BEST DIRTHMINUS SAMA.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 4, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> LLOLOLOLLOLLLL~
> 
> Someone tried to defend this tard:
> 
> ...


 
I...what?  There is so much fail under that tag I don't even know where to begin.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 4, 2012)

My pet peeve huh...? I'll tell you what my pet peeve is...

*NARUKO/FEM!NARU USED AS AN UNDERCOVER SELF-INSERT*.

I can't stand people who do this. Do you want to write a Sasuke or Kakashi or whoever else x You story? Have the courage to write it for what it is! Create an OC, even a Mary Sue, and admit that what you are doing is self-inserting. If you write well, some people might like it, because, after all, some people DO like Canon X OC stories, if they are good.

Destroying a canon character, especially the damn *protagonist*, in order to use them as a vessel for your self-insertion is cruel, destructive, disrespectful, arrogant and just plain wrong.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> I...what?  There is so much fail under that tag I don't even know where to begin.



*Again, let's discuss this over PM so don't derail the topic; If anyone else wishes to respond to this or the earlier posts, just PM me here or Ff.net.*

Exactly, and the author praised them for their "stalwart defense". This is my review though, and going over it I admit I must've had a BAD day when writing it. I sound like such an OOC douche you think someone hacked my account, I honestly don't rev much. That day I exploded though.


*Spoiler*: __ 



Oh, I'll gladly tell you what I think of this abomination. Sadly, I couldn't get past the first two sentences (not including the author's note I just skipped) let alone the first chapter. From what I read, your grammar needs work. Also, the way you write the dialogue is just...no. No, no, no. Naruto is NOT a sadistic killer/emo kid. He can be a little angry at his situation (which does not include beatings/stabbings/ rapes or anything of the sort other than the occasional cold stare or back handed comment from a couple villagers) but he doesn't show this to people too often, he sticks it out and keeps going.

Hell, I don't even know who this guy is; cause he surely isn't Naruto from Kishimoto's series at all. He must be some wannabe look alike that goes around calling himself that, because if the real Naruto saw him, he'd beat some sense into him almost as quick as he'd do it to Sasuke. I think you need to get rid of this story and try again, preferably after reading some GOOD fiction. You know, like the ACTUAL MANGA. Hell, I'd even be a beta, just think about you're posting on here for a minute.

I bet you see certain fics, and end up going "WTF is this? Please someone get rid of it! Why does it have so many reviews when it obviously needs to be worked on!" Guess what? That's what 95% of the fandom does with this fic, myself included. You obviously are going by this point "But I have 765 reviews! My fic isn't bad at all, you flamer!" Sadly,if you search Ff.net you WILL find many and I mean MANY authors/fics who use the same type of plot and setting as you, with just as many reviews. You need to come up with something ORIGINAL, which honestly isn't that hard, if you can find the right inspiration. Take a break for a couple weeks, watch some anime, read some books, and the Naruto MANGA then try writing again. You'll probably have better ideas this time.

The other 5% obviously cannot separate QUALITY from QUANTITY, so desperate to get a dose of fanfiction they are. These people review with little as no constructive criticism. That's because...well, look at their story lists'; They have never tried writing a fanfiction before, and half of the things on their lists are the trash of the trash on FF.net. I'm surprised you have as many reviews as you do, but then again this IS Ff.net... Anyways, it probably sounds mean but you should take my advice, but I'm trying to be harsh for a reason. coddling people gets nothing across to them, or that's what I've learned.

Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want some respectable fics left in the Naruto community which has become filled with such tripe it's unbelievable. Just do us a favor and go do some research on Naruto/ fan fiction tropes/things to avoid.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 4, 2012)

Your review made me very happy. Bluntness can be a beautiful thing.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

Still, the main reason why I don't do KakashiXOC, and trust me I have ideas to fill a page or two, is just cause not many people like it. I usually post it on these forums for better reception than on ff.net; did the reverse and got nothing lol.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 4, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> *Again, let's discuss this over PM so don't derail the topic; If anyone else wishes to respond to this or the earlier posts, just PM me here or Ff.net.*


Just shove his fic into the 'Trashpile' community and do a write-up of it on the forum. I'll back you up with my alt. account.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 4, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Just shove his fic into the 'Trashpile' community and do a write-up of it on the forum. I'll back you up with my alt. account.



I fully approve of this way of handling the issue. If my contribution is needed anywhere, my ff.net is Lydia-Kitten.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

Fine, that'll be easier and less damaging to my mental health.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 4, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> I fully approve of this way of handling the issue. If my contribution is needed anywhere, my ff.net is Lydia-Kitten.


Ah, yes, I just read your review for that....'thing'.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 4, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Ah, yes, I ust read your review for that....'thing'.



I was trying to be diplomatic. It was very difficult. Very, very difficult.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

Diplomacy is not needed when dealing with douchebags of his level; go back a few pages and you'll see the PM's he sent me LOOOL, copypasting


*Spoiler*: __ 



Umm... you do know where you can shove all your advices, right? Tell me if you don't for I will be extremely glad to explain in details.
Oh, and I'll gladly tell you something as well. My story is abomination you think? Well, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Haha, yeah I love the catchphrase... Anyway from what yo said in your review I concluded that you have never, AND DARTHEMIUS MEANS NEVER EVER done it with a girl. So I think you should really get rid of all your pornographic journals. Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want for all gays and imbeciles like you to remove yourself from our presence. Yeah, and take a break for a couple of weeks, stop watching anime, get out of your house, hook up with some girls, drink some alcohol and try insulting me again for you're not doing a very good job at it.
P.S. Thanks for writing that. Yeah, I'm grateful, really... For I kind of showed your review to my friends and some of my fans. They were all laughing like crazy, especially on that 'original Naruto is better' crap. Hell, I laughed for hours myself.
P.P.S. Hey, you should also read my other story! There I made Naruto an invincible maniac/sex machine! You would like it for sure!

Cheers!

Darthemius. 





*Spoiler*: __ 



How old are you again? Because you have the maturity of a fetus. Second of all I'm a woman and straight thanks so much, dipshit. Whatever, if you don't want to take my advice I'm done with you, you cunt sucking leech. And let me guess; all you 'friends' are the anonymous reviewers who are actually you in disguise? Number of reviews doesn't mean jack shit. First of all, if your reviewers don't have the balls to come out and say how shitty your fic is in the first place. Your English is horrible, I seriously had to read over your sad attempt at insults five times before I could get a gist of any of what you said. Nice attempt at trolling, but you REALLY need to do better than that if you think you hurt me at all. And thirdly, I don't own any porno materials, unlike you who probably masturbates to loli children while writing this semen in your mother's basement. Have luck with your garbage and if you think you can do batter job than Kishimoto who is on deadline,s has a family with kids that he must support and works for seven days a week making little for a famous mangaka, then show me. Else, you accusations are nothing more than thin air. You should try to be more open minded to other opinions, more so when we know more than you. Let's just say I"m not the only one who thinks your story is a pile of shit, dearie, and am telling you to give up before you commit suicide after you get more review that DOESN'T inflate your tiny dick.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

*Spoiler*: __ 



You're a woman?! Shit, that explains everything! You probably watched all of Twilight series as well...
Oh, never mind me then, I don't like arguing with women. And yeah, my English may be horrible (Since I'm Russian and all) but yeah, I think I can do 'batter' than Kishimoto. You know why?! Because he made Naruto too good. It's like watching WWE where Cena never turns heel no matter what. Besides, Kishimoto is not working alone. He started alone, yes. Now he has a whole team backing him up.
As for your question, I'm 23. And no, I don't masturbate, especially on children. By the way, what's loli children? (Yeah, don't forget I'm Russian)
And my friends are not me in disguise. It was just funny how you trashed my story with the only argument being "Naruto is not like in manga! He should be good!" Well, let me tell you something. This shit is called a fiction for a reason. Hey, some people make Naruto gay! And some even change his gender! Do you trash them as well because of that? I mean come on, all you said was something like "Drop this story because it's bad" or something. You suggested nothing! At least you could say what you don't like so much, like some plot twists or maybe my grammar skills (Yeah, I got trashed about later a lot) Instead you said to just drop it. Well, thanks but no thanks, sis. I think I will keep this story exactly where it is. Besides, I'm not really into listening others' opinion even if you were to know more than I. And if you... and whoever else you know don't like my story so much, there is that one button in the high right corner of your monitor (It has a cross mark on it) Press on this button and my story will disappear. You're welcome.
P.S. My dick is actually quite large. At least no woman ever complained.
Cheers.





*Spoiler*: __ 



For your info twilight is the most disgusting garbage ever and if I could find that idiot I'd kill her right then and there. And I LOVE how you stick to stereotypes, and saying "oh thtst expln everything DOH!" like you think you me. I personally don't like fics where Naruto is gay either but that's why I don't read them. I was recommended your fic by someone who obviously did not have much in the way of taste. Trust me, i did click off as soon as =a wrote my review. Again, the premise is good but the execution is flat and uninteresting. I don't mind AU's as I do them myself and they are nice change of pace, but when you do ti wrong...

Here's what I mean when I say your fic is bad:

Take your fic; there is no build up, the dialouge is as awkward as hell and that's not because of your bad English, it's just bad dialouge. I do understand that you want Naruto to be dark and not as sunny like he is in the manga but shoving it in our faces in the first chapter is not a good way to do it. Having him be beating by villagers has been used 22432048320948 times and gets boring after a while, try to think of something else. And why would Mikoto take Naruto in? she is a nice person, but the Uchiha have been persecuted by the villagers since the Nine Tails attack, so I don't think she's going to go "Oh, you poor thing. I'll feed you and train you and take you to school." Even if she did, Sasuke's Dad would probably not let her do so as he is head of the Uchiha and wouldn't want them under suspicion.

I mean think about it for a moment; the facts as they are presented in the story you are writing and the the way that author has portrayed the characters does not match up. It makes it look like you know nothing about the source material; like you are ignorant and just writing to get hits.

That's all I have for characters. One other thing you need to touch on is how you portray the story. We, as readers do not want to see this:

"I am running through the forest."

"Damn, suddenly I am hit by ninjas,"

Or something like that; it's called 'script-form' and makes the fic look bad to people who want to give it a shot. A better way would be this:

He is running through the forest, the scent of the trees in his nose and the wind caress his cheek. Out of the periphery of his vision he watches as three shuriken come flying at him from the left. Quickly the raises his hand and deflect the projectiles with the gauntlet on his arm, hearing the clink of metal on metal...

See, now doesn't that seem more exciting than just dialouge? 





*Spoiler*: __ 






Umm... No. What you described is the exact way a woman should write and I agree with that. For example, a woman would write something like: "A ray of morning sun caressed her cheek, making her woke up from her peaceful slumber. She unwillingly removed herself from her bed's warmth and blah, blah, blah..."
I would write something like: "She woke up, got out of bed and went out." Yeah, it might not be as pretty as your version, but it's much faster. Besides, many people like my writing because I skipped empty descriptions. For me it's about action. I may write it much simpler, but I try to keep people excited (Yeah, we have different definition of excitement)
And finally, stop saying I'm ignorant and all that crap! I know pretty well how characters were in manga/anime. That is EXACTLY why I made them different! Please explain to me with your almighty knowledge, what is the point of making a FICTION where everything is exactly like in the manga?! Yeah, I admit I might not be the most original guy, but at least I try. Hell, I saw you wrote some stories too. No, I didn't read them. Perhaps I would've find your stories boring, dumb, or something like that. But I'm not gonna write to you and describe it all in detail. You know why? Because I don't believe it will do any good. I mean yeah, some well placed advice? Sure. In fact, many people asked ME for advice on their stories. But not your kind of advice (Drop it, remember?)
So how about we just drop it? You don't like me and I... Well, I don't actually know you to say I don't like you, and I can't dislike you simply for hating my story. So, how about it?




I haven't responded to the last one...my hatred is too great for this one. I can't come up with something scathing enough to type up. Moreso after that bullshit he pulled this week. His virtual anus shall be torn anew.


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 4, 2012)

"You're a woman?! Shit, that explains everything! You probably watched all of Twilight series as well..."

...............

Woah, misogyny rampage.
Also, when he says he writes "simple and fast", what he really means is that he has a 300 word vocabulary. Don't worry about it. 

However, don't bother replying, it's not worth it; you're just wasting your time.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

I actually sat and read through the first whole chapter of his fic. :disgusted

I need brain bleach...it's just nonsensical garbage...I mean,  Naruto cannot get MS through a fucking blood transfusion; GENES are inherent and can only be passed on through sex, you... Lord.


----------



## lacey (Mar 4, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> And Alex Mercer? If you're reading this of course? I'm really glad that you were defending me with such passion, but? *Could you please type my name correctly next time? Thank you.*
> 
> Anyway, here's your fucking chapter. Enjoy?



brb loling forever


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 4, 2012)

He's just that bad...I'm not sure if he's trolling or what...


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 5, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> *Again, let's discuss this over PM so don't derail the topic; If anyone else wishes to respond to this or the earlier posts, just PM me here or Ff.net.*
> 
> Exactly, and the author praised them for their "stalwart defense". This is my review though, and going over it I admit I must've had a BAD day when writing it. I sound like such an OOC douche you think someone hacked my account, I honestly don't rev much. That day I exploded though.
> 
> ...



you are my hero


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

one of his other defenders accused me of being a yaoi-fangirl. can't stand that shit, baseless accusations AHAHAHAHA!! Apparently, in soveit russia bad fanfiction writes you.


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## Whirlpool (Mar 5, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> one of his other defenders accused me of being a *yaoi-fangirl*. can't stand that shit, baseless accusations AHAHAHAHA!! Apparently, in soveit russia bad fanfiction writes you.



I was actually here to tell you that


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

:lmfao His ass is dead; sooooo dead. :lmfao


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 5, 2012)

On topic, please.  We're here to lament generalities, not individuals.  At least spoiler tag the examples.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 5, 2012)

Here's one:

"You killed my entire family, my pet gerbil included! I'm going to kill you!"

"Hey, sorry man, shit happens. We cool now?"

"....YEAH!  Let's go pull some bitches."

What the....

I just realised that this thread was created specifically for the use of giogio


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## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 5, 2012)

Give me more of this nonsense, I need something to escape my studies and I don't really read Naruto fanfiction nowadays!


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 5, 2012)

Oh, and here's something else that pisses me off.

Say, someone really, really wants to write slash with, let's say, Naruto and Kiba in it. (I do occasionally write slash myself, I have nothing against it). They most often choose to diregard everything Kishi has ever written, and just have a "Yeah, I'm gay. Sakura was just a sister. Haha." moment. WUUUT? U SERIOUS?

His crush on Sakura has been a major plot point for the last 724 seasons, you can't just disregard it!

You want to write slash? Keep your characters in character. Try having him start with a very serious and in character discussion with Sakura, ending with:

"Even though I love Sakura deeply, and always will, I know that she will only ever see me as a second choice, and I simply do not want to force to settle for less than she truly wants. I don't want her in a relationship with me simply because she feels she owes me, or that I deserve it for having been such a good shinobi."

And then maybe in chapter 10:

"Kiba is so much fun to hang out with! It's good to hand around with a guy who is like me is some ways!"

Maybe, then, by chapter 17 you can arrive to the point of:

"This feeling I'm getting is really weird.... Can someone like both girls and boys? I should try to find a way to subtly ask Tsunade-baachan."

If you write it well, it could feel mildly realistic, and not just plain wrong, because often all, many people -are- bisexual, and it -does- happen for someone to date one gender up to a certain point, and then suddenly develop a crush for someone of another gender instead. I mean, hell knows many of the girls I've dated did not identity as lesbians at all.

Point is...

*Yaoi, that is, pointless smut, I don't appreciate. Just... no.

And slash needs GOOD, REALISTIC WRITING, and SOLID CHARACTERIZATION in order to work. *


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## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 5, 2012)

And that is why I stopped reading yaoi.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

That is why I don;t read yaoi or eve het. Just stick to plain adventure pics, but pairings are still slipped in b/c of dick reviewers who feel the need to pair up X/Y Z/Q and tell the author.


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## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 5, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> That is why I don;t read yaoi or eve het. Just stick to plain adventure pics, but pairings are still slipped in b/c of dick reviewers who feel the need to pair up X/Y Z/Q and tell the author.



I gave up on het a long time ago and now on yaoi, too. The only kinds of lemons I read are the yuri-kinds, but it takes me a while to find a good one and not just a PWP.


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## FrayedThread (Mar 5, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Oh, and here's something else that pisses me off.
> 
> Say, someone really, really wants to write slash with, let's say, Naruto and Kiba in it. (I do occasionally write slash myself, I have nothing against it). They most often choose to diregard everything Kishi has ever written, and just have a "Yeah, I'm gay. Sakura was just a sister. Haha." moment. WUUUT? U SERIOUS?
> 
> ...



Ah, yes.
This describes another of my peeves perfectly.

The all of a sudden sexual attraction can get annoying in most cases too. 




> How old are you again? Because you have the maturity of a fetus



 I just found that funny


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 5, 2012)

On that character timing aspect, I suppose I've taken the opposite route by having the actual business happen and then explain it in flashbacks or stuff. A sin, I know, but at least I know that I still plan on explaining _how_ it got to that point. And I definitely don't plan to make it as simple as 'OMG you're hawt and I'm suddenly magnetised to you...who's the other ^ (not the meaning of the word "respect".) I used to be interested in for clearly brainwashed reasons?'


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Oh, and here's something else that pisses me off.
> 
> Say, someone really, really wants to write slash with, let's say, Naruto and Kiba in it. (I do occasionally write slash myself, I have nothing against it). They most often choose to diregard everything Kishi has ever written, and just have a "Yeah, I'm gay. Sakura was just a sister. Haha." moment. WUUUT? U SERIOUS?
> 
> ...



I agree with all of this _so much_. I have no problem with making a character gay (I have written slash, femslash and het so it clearly doesn't bother me) but you can't just suddenly pull the "oh he was gay all along" card when there is clear canon evidence of the character liking the opposite sex.

Also don't you hate the way girls in Magical Yaoi Land seem to morph into homophobic harpies? It's just...no.

Which brings me to my biggest slash-fic related peeve: The seme/uke thing. Words cannot fully express my loathing of this.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 5, 2012)

Don't read yaoi


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

^ Sorry did you mean that you don't read it, or that I shouldn't?


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 5, 2012)

I referring to myself. Just ignore me


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

^ We're cool.


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## Baby Joe (Mar 5, 2012)

....... Really. This Biju turning into humans nonsense really gets to me. It's like the Akatsuki transforming into cats.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

^  Well Kitsune changing into people does have mythological basis. They were nearly always female though, which is where FemKyuubi comes from. But I do agree. And if I had a penny for every time the Akatsuki turned into cats...I'd have a whole lot of pennies.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

FOR THE LOVE OF.... *headdesks repeatedly* *again* *again*

I swear I will KILL A PUPPY every time someone writes this, or Naruto in heat going to Sasuke fic, or anything of that variation (ANYTHING).

I lost the link but it was a short collection of complaints by Naru characters for things done in fanfiction. It was funny., or at least somewhat amusing.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 5, 2012)

Naruto walked into the academy classroom.

"Wow, I'm new to Konoha again since I was taken away (nee: effectively abducted) at a young age to protect me and have automatically been merged into its school system with no background security checks by a Hokage who has suddenly forgotten my name and what I look like and I am totally better than just about everybody in this room since my sensei is a bawss and teaches me S-rank sex techni- I mean jutsus."

All the girls eyes light up.

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HE'S SO KAWAI DESU AND SEXEH"

Fuck off 

Also:


Baby Joe said:


> .......





Rouge Angle said:


> ^





Itachifan727 said:


>


Told you this thread was created for giogio


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

You think? 

Sasuke was brought back into the village, but he's to weak to fight the glares and disappointment. So he does with the only thing he knows, he cuts, but when he finds out Sakura is actually married to his sensei and that he can't have her, he snaps!

Konoha high is split into two, day class and night class, when Jiraiya decides to merge them together... yep. another vampire fic ;P dw, there are werewolves too and more sasusaku naruhina shikatema nejiten

Rewrite of Aracnophobia Ninja Puppies! The Akatsuki are turned into puppies and sent to our world. Watch out Akatsuki for you guys are about to meet you match, Aracnophobia. No Akatsuki/OC pairings, probably OC/OC pairings.

After Sakura moved to Konoha and turned 16 she entered the best school in Konoha. But there's something wrong with this school. Night shades are appearing, dark creatures that feed on human souls, and people are dying.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 5, 2012)

i can understand the concept of kyuubi being a girl but the problem is that its been done so many time its bone dry.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

^ Those are summaries I assume? 

Fics where it goes "X is a vampire/werewolf/space alien/sparkly fairy and Y is a *perfectly normal* human. Will they find love?"


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 5, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> Fics where it goes "X is a vampire/werewolf/space alien/sparkly fairy and Y is a *perfectly normal* human. Will they find love?"


Someone did a goddamn NaruMei oneshot of this.

Mei was the vampire...

Shit you...I do not. However, it wasn't a bad oneshot, not bad at all.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

^ I wouldn't mind so much if it hadn't been done to death, and if the characters remotely resembled themselves. Call me crazy but having someone like Naruto tear open people's throats and gulp down their blood seems a bit OOC.


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## Baby Joe (Mar 5, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> ^  Well Kitsune changing into people does have mythological basis. They were nearly always female though, which is where FemKyuubi comes from. But I do agree. And if I had a penny for every time the Akatsuki turned into cats...I'd have a whole lot of pennies.



Well, the Biju thing sounds like it'd make some nice artwork, but it's not my type of fic.



Itachifan727 said:


> You think?
> 
> Sasuke was brought back into the village, but he's to weak to fight the glares and disappointment. So he does with the only thing he knows, he cuts, but when he finds out Sakura is actually married to his sensei and that he can't have her, he snaps!



Oh, snap.



> Konoha high is split into two, day class and night class, when Jiraiya decides to merge them together... yep. another vampire fic ;P dw, there are werewolves too and more sasusaku naruhina shikatema nejiten



Vampires? Werewolves? Typical.



> Rewrite of Aracnophobia Ninja Puppies! The Akatsuki are turned into puppies and sent to our world. Watch out Akatsuki for you guys are about to meet you match, Aracnophobia. No Akatsuki/OC pairings, probably OC/OC pairings.



Dammit. The Akatsuki really have been destroyed. I think that they're the most abused characters in fanfiction.



> After Sakura moved to Konoha and turned 16 she entered the best school in Konoha. But there's something wrong with this school. Night shades are appearing, dark creatures that feed on human souls, and people are dying.



School? Dark creatures? Sakura? That's not a good combination.


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## Whirlpool (Mar 5, 2012)

They girl up everything nowdays 

Vampires, werewolves and now zombies since this new bullcrap movie came out.

I miss my childhood


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 5, 2012)

^ I know, I feel your pain. But for the record I'm a woman and I _loathe_ Twilight.  I prefer throat-ripping monstrous vampires that actually eat people. I just can't see Naruto or someone doing it.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

same, same....DRACULA where are you?????


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## Dragon (Mar 5, 2012)

I like to think that the people who write the Akatsuki puppy fics are actually trolling us like there wasn?t tomorrow.


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## Whirlpool (Mar 5, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> ^ I know, I feel your pain. But for the record I'm a woman and I _loathe_ Twilight.  I prefer throat-ripping monstrous vampires that actually eat people. I just can't see Naruto or someone doing it.





Itachifan727 said:


> same, same....DRACULA where are you?????



Dog soldiers is a good werewolf movie


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## princess of iwagakure (Mar 5, 2012)

My pet peeves....There are too many I can't list all of them.
-Akatsuki high school fics. Itachi is a playboy, Sasori and Deidara are secretly dating, Hidan always gets detention.
-Kyuubi calling Naruto kit.
-Kyuubi being Naruto's love counselor. 
-Kyuubi calling Naruto's girlfriend "mate".
-Naruto naming his kids, "Kushina" and "Minato".
-Naruto calling Sasuke, "Teme". "Teme" does not mean "bastard", thank you very much.
-Wrong use of suffixes.

Story about a fanfic that traumatized me.
Somebody introduced me a terrible story which had some few lemons. It has the kyuubi fucking fem hachibi, and hachibi was screaming out, "SHOW ME YOUR INNER DEMON!"

That traumatized me for weeks


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 5, 2012)

im reaaally tired of these femkyuubi fics tbh


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 5, 2012)

shut uuuuup~ That is just....somewhere in between :lmafo and  AHAHAHAH!


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## Dejablue (Mar 6, 2012)

Show me your moves


your SEX MOVES AM I RITE?!


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

> Naruto is adopted and trained by Itachi and others. Itachi's dad killed the clan. Kyuubi gave Naruto a bloodline. Stong, serious, godlike Naruto. Naruto/Mei Main Naruto/Harem Mostly older women . Lemons in later chapters. First fic.


FOR CHRIST FUCKING SHITTING PISSING WANKING BASTARD SAKE!!!!! 

Why can't I just find a goddamn _NORMAL_ Naruto x Mei fic ANYWHERE?!!??!?!?! I'd rather find one than have to write it myself (even though I'm in the middle of doing just that). Just about _EVERY SINGLE_ fic with Naruto and Mei in it involves Naruto running away at an early age because of being beaten (OVERUSED FUCK!!!!), some AU bullshit like the above (ASS!), and/or a ridiculous betrothal contract between the Terumi and Namikaze households (SHITBRAINED!).

Okay, vented now...but seriously. Why do I torture myself so?  

Just to prove it can be done, my fic will be based [a few years] after the war, does not involve a marriage contract, Mei won't have a sudden and instant attraction to Naruto (as she is often stupidly portrayed), and the development will have at least some amount of realism to it.

Where's my fucking cyanide?


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

damnit every lion king/naruto crossover fic has nh as its pairing. why? hinata's nothing like nala


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## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> damnit every lion king/naruto crossover fic has nh as its pairing. why? hinata's nothing like nala



No one in this manga is like Nala.



You thought that the Naru/Harem was bad? Enter......the Mina/Harem!


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

i would say sakura buuuut...eh. nah. but she comes close imo


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 6, 2012)

Shizune was like... what, 13, 14 at the time???

And Mei... How the hell was a 15-6 year old in a random strange country's bathhouse?

Mina-Harem! You're bad enough as a concept, at least get your facts right-ish!


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## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Shizune was like... what, 13, 14 at the time???
> 
> And Mei... How the hell was a 15-6 year old in a random strange country's bathhouse?
> 
> Mina-Harem! You're bad enough as a concept, at least get your facts right-ish!



The author, Raptorcloak (), wisely played around with the ages.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

i like what if naruto's parents lived fics. my only gripe is that it has super naruto x hinata in it.


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## Whirlpool (Mar 6, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> i like what if naruto's parents lived fics. my only gripe is that it has super naruto x hinata in it.



Hate them. They always make Naruto into a Minato-clone who has a gary-stu mary-sue sibling whos the jinchuuriki instead of Naruto. And its NaruHina too


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Oh, and here's something else that pisses me off.
> 
> Say, someone really, really wants to write slash with, let's say, Naruto and Kiba in it. (I do occasionally write slash myself, I have nothing against it). They most often choose to diregard everything Kishi has ever written, and just have a "Yeah, I'm gay. Sakura was just a sister. Haha." moment. WUUUT? U SERIOUS?
> 
> ...






i also dislike really, like really  short fanfics.
Mary Sues- well, that goes without saying 

fics with OCs usually never impress me either...


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

I was thinking of doing one of those too.  Nevermind it then, I'll prolly fu it up anyway. or at least have minato alive like the anime/manga since kushina wanted to sacrifice herself.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> The author, Raptorcloak ()...


And that's why it's going to be awful 

Could you see any commas anywhere? Or was the entire thing one massive sentence that plays out like IKEA Erotica?


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

Raptorcloak... How many fics have they written?


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Raptorcloak... How many fics have they written?


36. Most are Bleach and Naruto.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

I skimmed through some... Good lord, he needs an anatomy class along with a girlfriend stat.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> i like what if naruto's parents lived fics.



I hate them because Minato's alive in them , and I don't like Minato in fanon or canon. Plus, the premise sounds corny anyway. It sounds like Naruto will get everything he wants on a silver platter and become some rasengan throwing, dattebayo screaming, sealing expert.



Tomcat171 said:


> And that's why it's going to be awful
> 
> Could you see any commas anywhere? Or was the entire thing one massive sentence that plays out like IKEA Erotica?




*Spoiler*: __ 



"I'd have to agree with that but trust us; you'll be fine since you're his student." Mei assured the blonde male and he instantly relaxed and sat back down in the water while Tsunade sat behind him and she picked up a cloth and started rubbing it on his back and Kushina, Mei, and Shizune all pitched in with all three of them washing his front; Kushina washed his chest while Shizune and Mei both washed his muscular abdomen

Minato found it quite relaxing and the women all smiled and then Tsunade pressed her breasts on his back and he instantly froze as the feeling off the soft mounds of flesh smothered against his back and Kushina pressed her own sizeable bosom on him with Shizune and Mei not just washing his abdomen; but now they were pressing their breasts against him.

Before the blonde male knew it, Tsunade and Kushina were rubbing their breasts on the sides of his head while Mei and Shizune pressed their breasts against his chest and cuddled up to him in the water.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> I skimmed through some... Good lord, he needs an anatomy class along with a girlfriend stat.




Kek. Some of the fanfic examples are ridiculous 


Well I'm just glad there aren't any Ace Combat and Naruto crosso-


>


Oh, for the love of shit


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

princess of iwagakure said:


> -Kyuubi calling Naruto kit.



I just don't get it, who started this kit thing anyway? I keep reading it in so many (bad) fics


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

That's technically what a young fox is called. So can a, you know, _fox_, really be blamed for referring to something in a manner in which it would understand?

Obviously, this would only properly apply in fics where Naruto and Kyuubi are uncharacteristic BFFs, whereas Kyuubi/Kurama _always_ refers to Naruto by his name.


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## Dejablue (Mar 6, 2012)

I always figured the use of "kit" as a furry thing.  People who have Kyuubi say kit are those guys who love to draw anime wolves, foxes, and dog "clan stories" on deviantart. Or are just straight up wolfaboos which I'm pretty sure reaches out to foxes.









I keep reading Raptorcloack as Raptorcock.


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## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> I always figured the use of "kit" as a furry thing.  People who have Kyuubi say kit are those guys who love to draw anime wolves, foxes, and dog "clan stories" on deviantart. Or are just straight up wolfaboos which I'm pretty sure reaches out to foxes.



I've never seen the word "kit" used.

Don't bring up DeviantArt and the dogs/wolves. If I had a dime for everytime I saw a picture of a Naruto character as a wolf.....











> I keep reading Raptorcloack as Raptorcock.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> 
> Before the blonde male knew it, Tsunade and Kushina were rubbing their breasts on the sides of his head while Mei and Shizune pressed their breasts against his chest and cuddled up to him in the water.


Welcome to his world .


*Spoiler*: _I posted a review to one of his fics last week_ 





> For the love of God, please use commas in your paragraphs and sentences. My eyes cringe whenever I have to look over a 70-word-long unbroken sentence.
> 
> A perfect example for you to rectify:
> 
> ...







*Spoiler*: _And his response in a PM?_ 





> Let's just say I'm too descriptive for my own good, and the reason I write long lemons is due to the fact it feels original due to the fact lemon stories normally have a sole sex scene. More so, the reason my stories have little talk at the start is because it counts for some plot and I once wrote a lemon with less plot and more lemons. I almost got kicked off fanfiction for such a small plot and I don't ever want to go through that road ever again.
> I hope this clears some of your thoughts.





At least the guy was respectful in his reply, but just saying he's "...too descriptive for [his] own good..." doesn't excuse his constant grammatical shortcomings.

Also, six lines of dialogue does not count as 'plot', you need at leats two or three scenes, in my opinion.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> That's technically what a young fox is called. So can a, you know, _fox_, really be blamed for referring to something in a manner in which it would understand?
> 
> Obviously, this would only properly apply in fics where Naruto and Kyuubi are uncharacteristic BFFs, whereas Kyuubi/Kurama _always_ refers to Naruto by his name.



I know what a "kit" is 

I was jus confused b/c in the manga/anime ,the fox only calls Naruto by his name, as you have pointed out correctly.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Don't bring up DeviantArt and the dogs/wolves. If I had a dime for everytime I saw a picture of a Naruto character as a wolf....



Oh oh oh oh... Don't remind me of this, please... So, see, I'm a good little girl in DeviantArt, and I try to give thoughtful comments and write critiques and all, but lately 70% of all the incoming art has been wolves and cats with rainbow hair and weird scene piercings...

I just can't do this anymore...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

Goddamit...I read through that whole thing on Tvtropes. Let's just say I've been enlightened. It was interesting to say the least...maybe I'll do some mock fics for teh lulz.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Don't bring up DeviantArt and the dogs/wolves. If I had a dime for everytime I saw a picture of a Naruto character as a wolf.....





Do you prefer lions?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

SDFDSDFDSAFEFG!?  

 

the fuck is that? GET IT AWAY FROM ME! aaaaaacckk....


----------



## lacey (Mar 6, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> i also dislike really, like really  short fanfics.



As a one-shot writer myself, I often find those to be more enjoyable than a full-on story. My attention can only be held for so long before I move onto something else; even if the story is really good, it can fall off my radar for the longest time, and when I come back to it, there's so much going on that I give up on it.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 6, 2012)

I agree with the above statement, by ItachiFan...

What manner of monstrosity is this!!?? O___________o


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> As a one-shot writer myself, I often find those to be more enjoyable than a full-on story. My attention can only be held for so long before I move onto something else; even if the story is really good, it can fall off my radar for the longest time, and when I come back to it, there's so much going on that I give up on it.



I like one-shots, too granted they're written well. In my short time of reading Naruto fanfictions, I've only read one long fanfiction that I liked.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> As a one-shot writer myself, I often find those to be more enjoyable than a full-on story. My attention can only be held for so long before I move onto something else; even if the story is really good, it can fall off my radar for the longest time, and when I come back to it, there's so much going on that I give up on it.



some oneshots are really good, but I mean I dislike fics which are like 8 sentences with no real plot or action but just sissysweet nothins. Maybe you know what i mean^^

@K727 , AttP:



Don't ask. EPIC FACEPALM DELUXE

:rofl


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

The fuck are supposed to be?  

Lions? Dogs? Wolves? Hyenas? cat-things?


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

*Spoiler*: _We're gettting off-topic~!_ 



There should be a thread like this one except DeviantArt related.




On-Topic: I dislike people's OC Bijus. They're just as bad as OC humans.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> *Spoiler*: _We're gettting off-topic~!_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Especially when they stick the OC Bijuu into a canon character.  I started to read a fic where Sakura had a 12-tailed wolf bijuu.  Clicked the X as soon as I hit that part.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Especially when they stick the OC Bijuu into a canon character.  I started to read a fic where Sakura had a 12-tailed wolf bijuu.  Clicked the X as soon as I hit that part.



I think that it was yesterday when I saw a "What if the Kyuubi didn't attack the village, but the four tailed bat did" summary. That was a warning not to click on it.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

I also find it weird when Iruka's lovers (in vaaaaaaaarious fanfics) call him "Ruru".
I mean...c'mon.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> *Spoiler*: _We're gettting off-topic~!_
> 
> 
> 
> ...



GUILTY~~~ LOL I remember that time, so fucking awful and then Kishi actually makes a REAL Ten Tails. :rofl :rofl


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

Oh,btw, concerning mpregs:


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 6, 2012)

I remember one where Gaara, after Shukaku's removal, gets a new Bijuu, like an eleven-tailed something, and Kyuubi falls in love with it, and they force their hosts to have mansex, and they become "mates forevah", and then mpreg happens, and the baby is... furry-ish, with ears and a tail or something.

It's like *all the bad things in the world concentrated inside a fic*.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

:rofl oh maaaaaaaaaaaan thats almost/or even as crazy as this ...preposterous HP fanfic called "My Immortal"?


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 6, 2012)

No, not -that- bad... "My Immortal" is Upper Kage-level fail, it's pretty damn hard to achieve.

Which reminds me of another pet peeve... You misspell a name once, alright, it's a typo, happens to me, too. You misspell a name twice... well, be more careful. But *misspelling the characters' names all the damn time is just ARGHHHHH.*

_And then Itashi told Saskue that he shouldn't burn down Konohagukure, because..._


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 6, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> :rofl oh maaaaaaaaaaaan thats almost/or even as crazy as this ...preposterous HP fanfic called "My Immortal"?



That was covered a while back.  The lovely Tomcat offered up .


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Upper Kage-level fail[/I]



HAHA gotta remember this :rofl

oh my...in the German dub, they call Itachi "Itashi", Jutsu "Yutsu", Orochimaru "Oroshimaru"...the German dub is also upper kage-level fail.

I always watched the english dub or sub, but once i switched on my tv and this german channel played Naruto...in German. It's so horrible....ugh. the voices are so ...ugly.

I read this anbu!fic once, and it seemed like every Anbu member was gay and fucked the submissive foxy naruto. that was weird as hell,totally unrealistic.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

Don't make me post the German opening  It is THAT bad.

The only i see wrong with the names is that they sub "c" for "s" which must be an odd language thing. OH wait, they censored Zabuza's blade and weapons in general i think.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 6, 2012)

The German openings are cracktastic.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 6, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> On-Topic: I dislike people's OC Bijus. They're just as bad as OC humans.


Extra bijuu= instant Sue/Stu. Especially when they use "the ten-tailed wolf." Sorry fanthing, but the juubi is already relevant to the plot. 



hyena611 said:


> I also find it weird when Iruka's lovers (in vaaaaaaaarious fanfics) call him "Ruru".
> I mean...c'mon.


 That just reminds me of the noise a puppy makes when it wants something.



AngstToThePeople said:


> I remember one where Gaara, after Shukaku's removal, gets a new Bijuu, like an eleven-tailed something, and Kyuubi falls in love with it, and they force their hosts to have mansex, and they become "mates forevah", and then mpreg happens, and the baby is... furry-ish, with ears and a tail or something.
> 
> It's like *all the bad things in the world concentrated inside a fic*.


Ick. I agree with the bolded. On the subject of mpreg-- no. Just *no*. The only person who could ever be conceivably written in mpreg is the Norse god Loki because it's actually canon. But still, the idea of a pregnant man is just  . Just adopt a kid if you need one that badly, I'm sure there are plenty of starving ninja orphans.



hyena611 said:


> I read this anbu!fic once, and it seemed like every Anbu member was gay and fucked the submissive foxy naruto. that was weird as hell,totally unrealistic.


Indeed. But in bad-Yaoi fics, everyone is either gay or a homophobe, there is no middle ground. 

I've never quite understood making everyone into ANBU in the first place. Getting all the dirty jobs aside, don't ANBU always seem to get killed off really easily? They are like fodder with an elite title or something. IMO Not exactly the best job you could apply for. Not to mention in ANBU!Itachi fics, he's always given the code name "weasel", when his name _means_ weasel. So his code name is Itachi. So much for discretion.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> Not to mention in ANBU!Itachi fics, he's always given the code name "weasel", when his name _means_ weasel. So his code name is Itachi. So much for discretion.



LOL thanks for mentioning it, this was on my mind too

or Naruto as "Kitsune"...

kinda defeats the purpose of  a CODE name...


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 6, 2012)

Exactly. Naruto may as well just show up in his orange jumpsuit. Not to mention if _everyone_ in the same age group is in ANBU, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of it? No one would be able to spy on anyone.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

ever notice how anbu are overpraised more in fics than they are in the actual show/manga?


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 6, 2012)

^ That was exactly my point. In fics they seem useful and efficient whereas in the manga they always get killed really easily, with only a handful of exceptions who are named characters. Though to be fair we do always see them go up against rather powerful opponents.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

ANBU in fics: ELITE BADASS MUTHAFUCKAS

ANBU in canon:..........Fodder.

On the subject of code names and whatnot. In just about every fic in which I've seen Naruto do something that involves becoming some form of elite whatever who wears a mask, it doesn't matter which village he may have defected to, and it doesn't matter how much of a physical transformation he may have undergone, he always wears a mask and bears a code name that depicts a fox in some way, shape or form.

And yet still, the people of Konoha just don't have a clue who he is 

"Who's this uber mercenary?"
"My name is Vulpix. Check out my mask that is clearly in the shape of the fox and can't be mistaken for any other long-nosed woodland animal."
"Isn't that a Pokem-"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH"


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

also I think anbu only exist in the leaf dont they? 

so those fanon deidara anbu fics can rot


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

A story from Sakura's point of view.

The text is bunched together and "I"s are constantly lowercased when referring to 
Sakura.

Oh, and one of the reviews:



			
				Reviewer said:
			
		

> Just wanted to warn you that a plagiarist has been outed.
> 
> Exodus27 copied the work of Wilkins75 without the permission of Wilkins75 and posted it as their own story.
> 
> ...



Small world.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 6, 2012)

the stupid thing is that Kishi hardly ever shows anything anbu-related; we don't really know how Anbu actually work together, how they are strctured etc.
I'm sure they work in other ways than regular Ninjas - surely a different uniform and a mask (and a codename) cannot be the only things that distinguish Anbu from regulars.

this gap is actually good for ficers to fill, but writing a good Anbu fic probably isn't an easy task.

I actually considered writing a fic about why Kakashi left the Anbu- i'd like to try to make an interesting story out of it.

But I'm not sure if I'll stick with that.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

i remember reading a fic where naruto's an anbu at the age of 8 shooting dragon shaped fire streams and jiraiya and tsunade are babysitting him....


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 6, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> ever notice how anbu are overpraised more in fics than they are in the actual show/manga?



Ahh yes...

Post-war Naruto is in an ANBU group with Shikamaru and Ino and people are like 'Will he survive' and he takes all sorts of crap from his superiors 

This fic actually as a scene where Shika chokes Naruto  And Ino tells Naruto (Quite rudely) to get the Kyuubi under control, without even taking that the kyuubi is a fucking bijuu into account. And Naruto is like 'Okay' in all situations.



I'm pretty sure if Naruto joined ANBU, he'd bitchslap Shikamaru if he even tried to attack him


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

One thing I do know about the ANBU is that they're permitted to have relationships with people who shall inevitably die


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 6, 2012)

Anbu's all about hiding in the shadows anyway. I doubt a glowing yellow lightbulb like Naruto would do them any good.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 6, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> also I think anbu only exist in the leaf dont they?
> 
> so those fanon deidara anbu fics can rot



I don't know if it's called ANBU but I think each village does have their own variation of it, like Kirigakure has those masked, ANBU-like hunter nin.



> i remember reading a fic where naruto's an anbu at the age of 8 shooting dragon shaped fire streams and jiraiya and tsunade are babysitting him....



 (This thread is going to make me erode the skin on my forehead if this keeps up.)


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

when you have the ability to shoot giant lazors who needs stealth? lord knows we haven't had enough of them _pewpew _lazors.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> This fic actually as a scene where Shika chokes Naruto


I remember one fic that subverted this. Naruto had to face off against four jounins, one of which of Shikamaru (they were older, y'see), and Naruto raises a hand to rub the back of his neck, but looks to struggle against it a little bit. For some reason Shika immediately withdraws from the fight.

Why? Because Shika told them that Naruto did that neck rub _as he was still being held by Shika's shadow_.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

> leik thomahgawd minato getz edo tensei'd and has kyuubi's dark chakra and can spamzers shiki fujin reaper and links to gedo mazo and shoots phantom dragons and becomes juubi jinchuuriki cuz he r arsomers.



this made me lol and at the same time  because such a fic is possible


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 6, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I remember one fic that subverted this. Naruto had to face off against four jounins, one of which of Shikamaru (they were older, y'see), and Naruto raises a hand to rub the back of his neck, but looks to struggle against it a little bit. For some reason Shika immediately withdraws from the fight.
> 
> Why? Because Shika told them that Naruto did that neck rub _as he was still being held by Shika's shadow_.



By choke i mean literal Hand-to-neck action....

sounds like...

nevermind :ho


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> By choke i mean literal Hand-to-neck action....
> 
> sounds like...
> 
> nevermind :ho


I knew that. I was just giving an example that contrasted yours. An OP Shika and an UP Shika.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 6, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I knew that. I was just giving an example that contrasted yours. An OP Shika and an UP Shika.



Ahh...

Well the choke you posted could happen  CS2 tayuya Broke out


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

naruto getting the curse mark, good idea or bad idea?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

Listening to dramatic readings for my inner life. Pissing myself here.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 6, 2012)

^ I've never listened to those. The dramatic readings of _My Immortal_ and _Legolas by Laura_ are particularly funny.



bloodplzkthxlol said:


> > leik thomahgawd minato getz edo tensei'd and has kyuubi's dark chakra and can spamzers shiki fujin reaper and links to gedo mazo and shoots phantom dragons and becomes juubi jinchuuriki cuz he r arsomers.
> 
> 
> 
> this made me lol and at the same time  because such a fic is possible



blood Y U post these horrors?   I'm not going to have any face left I tell you!


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 6, 2012)

My ANBU rant from a while ago:



TekJounin said:


> ANBU!  It's always sort of bugged me that  authors assume it's another rank that has to be earned by testing.   Normally, I can let it go because they probably just don't understand  the ranks.  But you don't "try out" for ANBU like it's the pep squad.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: _Ninja Ranks_
> ...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

Jesus Christ, I can't stop laughing at this. :rofl This guy is excellent~


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

How's this for a silly plot start?

Somehow, Mei ended up in Konoha (abducted or not, it doesn't say) and was, in the chapter's words, _forced_ by Minato to carry his child since Kushina was somehow infertile. Kyuubi sealed blah dee blah, and then Mei takes "Naruto Namikaze Terumi" (as it is written in the chapter) back to Kiri, where the bloodline purges never happened because Yagura wasn't under Tobi's control...

SMH 

Though I should note that the version I just recited was adopted. The original version starts with Naruto in the 'Bloody Mist' graduation exam (you know, where they go Battle Royale on one another), but it was clear that Mei "...was taken prisoner by the leaf, but being forced to be the baby maker for the 4th Hokage and his barren wife...".


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 6, 2012)

FFFUUUU---  :rofl


----------



## princess of iwagakure (Mar 6, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> How's this for a silly plot start?
> 
> Somehow, Mei ended up in Konoha (abducted or not, it doesn't say) and was, in the chapter's words, _forced_ by Minato to carry his child since Kushina was somehow infertile. Kyuubi sealed blah dee blah, and then Mei takes "Naruto Namikaze Terumi" (as it is written in the chapter) back to Kiri, where the bloodline purges never happened because Yagura wasn't under Tobi's control...
> 
> ...


Oh my The above is an OOC action for both Minato AND the Leaf village. And is that a Mei bashing fic? There are many fics that change the Naruto characters and the original story line so much that I wonder, why not make a whole new story rather than using Naruto characters?

I once mistakenly read a NaruHina fic where Minato's wife is Sakura and their child is Naruto. That's just sick


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

princess of iwagakure said:


> Oh my The above is an OOC action for both Minato AND the Leaf village. And is that a Mei bashing fic?


Nope, the fic (the adopted rewrite and its original) is actually Mei and Naruto (mother/son) centric. You know, the whole 'happy family with dark past' archetype?

Peh...


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 6, 2012)

princess of iwagakure said:


> I once mistakenly read a NaruHina fic where Minato's wife is Sakura and their child is Naruto. That's just sick



Minato was Kakashi's sensei.  Kakashi was Sakura's sensei.  Sakura is Naruto's team mate.  Did they twiddle the ages or something?  (I hope)


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 6, 2012)

Pairing semantics. If Sakura's out the way by the start of the fic who could possibly get in the way of NaruHina then? 

Give me a break...


----------



## Kunoichiwa (Mar 6, 2012)

I get tired of character bashing for pairing purposes.

NaruSaku fans, there is no need to bash Hinata. If if your fanfic Naruto never returns Hinata's feelings you don't have to make her a "Bitch, Tramp, ect..." for Naruto not to like her back.

NaruHina fans, I understand if you like NaruHina, I do too, but there is no need to turn Sakura into the worst person ever. Naruto can get over Sakura without her being a "Bitch, Tramp, ect..."

As for SasuSaku fans... well for some strange reason I don't typically see SasuSaku bash Naruto. Maybe because with Sasuke's behavior they don't really have much room to.


----------



## princess of iwagakure (Mar 6, 2012)

Ewwww. NaruMei i*c*st! That's disgrace to my two fave characters! 

I think Sakura was the same age as Minato OR Naruto and Hinata was miraculously much younger than they are supposed to be in cannon. 

I know Sakura is in the way, but still.....surely there are better ways to get the rival out of the equation?


Kunoichiwa said:


> I get tired of character bashing for pairing purposes.
> 
> NaruSaku fans, there is no need to bash Hinata. If if your fanfic Naruto never returns Hinata's feelings you don't have to make her a "Bitch, Tramp, ect..." for Naruto not to like her back.


Maybe it's because I don't read many NaruSaku fics, but the only character bashing I've seen in NaruSaku fics were against Sasuke rather than Hinata. And since, Sakura's love for Sasuke is the obstacle to this pairing, I can understand why, but can never be okay with it. 


> As for SasuSaku fans... well for some strange reason I don't typically see SasuSaku bash Naruto. Maybe because with Sasuke's behavior they don't really have much room to.


Trust me. They have their fair share of bashings. But the target is Karin, which I cannot even understand WHY, when she isn't even an obstacle(as in, Sasuke doesn't like her).


----------



## Kunoichiwa (Mar 6, 2012)

Sakura doesn't need to be bashed for her to be "out of the way". Can't Naruto get over her without her being the worst person ever? Since Sakura only seems to like Naruto as a friend, one can debate if she is in the way at all.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 6, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> ^ I've never listened to those. The dramatic readings of _My Immortal_ and _Legolas by Laura_ are particularly funny.
> 
> 
> 
> blood Y U post these horrors?   I'm not going to have any face left I tell you!



sorry but i thought you've seen worse and your here now to tell the tales aren't cha?


----------



## The Jeffrey (Mar 7, 2012)

I just got a new pet peeve. 

Having really pushy reviewers. You know, the kind that is like (I shit you not):

"Good story, now make Naruto marry (insert random girl name) and have a little girl and boy named Minato and Kushina." 

... What the fuck?


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 7, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> I just got a new pet peeve.
> 
> Having really pushy reviewers. You know, the kind that is like (I shit you not):
> 
> ...



Oh, I feel you, I get these, too.
Someone even asked me to "kill Sai" once, for no particular reason. Just "Hey, nice Team Kakashi fic, but Sai is an idiot, you should kill him soon.".

Woah, evil, much?


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 7, 2012)

:rofl

No point at all?


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 7, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> sorry but i thought you've seen worse and your here now to tell the tales aren't cha?



lol yes I have seen MUCH worse. I was just being dramatic. By all means, horrify me.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

princess of iwagakure said:


> Ewwww. NaruMei i*c*st! That's disgrace to my two fave characters!


Nah, you misunderstood. No i*c*st, they're purely a mother and son relationship in the fic in question. The actual tagged characters for the fic were Naruto and Samui...

Then again, G3rMan's 'Uzumaki Clan's Rebirth' makes Mei out as an Uzumaki who changed her name, making her some kind of distant relative to Naruto. And, without being slightly bothered about it, Naruto and her....yeah, you get my drift.

I thought I'd try one fic with an alluring summary. Oh dear...


> It was a late stary night in the village of Konohakagure. Travling down the streets to his home was a young adult who was the sixth Hokage of said Shinobi village.


So...the night stares...I didn't know that.

Saw that first sentence, immediately closed the tab 

And something else:


It's not even that good. It's giving hints as if everyone who reads it writes in beige prose. SMH.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 7, 2012)

Just read through it.... Idiot needs to go to TVtropes.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 7, 2012)

Kunoichiwa said:


> Sakura doesn't need to be bashed for her to be "out of the way". Can't Naruto get over her without her being the worst person ever? Since Sakura only seems to like Naruto as a friend, one can debate if she is in the way at all.



We only support NaruIno or others here, NaruSaku or NaruHina is forbidden gun


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> We only support NaruIno or others here, NaruSaku or NaruHina is forbidden gun


First, yes  

Second I'm okay with 

NarHin? Nah 

j/k We all cool here. Pairing discussions are for the FCs, anything stupid regarding fanfics goes here. I would agree that a lot of bashing is just there for the sake of the author's pleasure (not the reader), most of it is unnecessary.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Mar 7, 2012)

Speaking of bashing. 

Wasn't there a Wilkins fic where they cut off Sasuke's testicles?


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 7, 2012)

Wait, what? I am morbidly curious about that. I want to read it.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Speaking of bashing.
> 
> Wasn't there a Wilkins fic where they cut off Sasuke's testicles?


I read one wilkins fic in the past...loooooong ago. So I can't remember.

I do, however, remember a NI fic by pudgypudge, where Naruto uses potent Kyuubi chakra, at Sakura's request, to render Sasuke infertile


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 7, 2012)

Wilkins' fics, read one and you've read them all.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 7, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Speaking of bashing.
> 
> Wasn't there a Wilkins fic where they cut off Sasuke's testicles?





Tomcat171 said:


> I read one wilkins fic in the past...loooooong ago. So I can't remember.
> 
> I do, however, remember a NI fic by pudgypudge, where Naruto uses potent Kyuubi chakra, at Sakura's request, to render Sasuke infertile





Blazing CobaltX said:


> Wilkins' fics, read one and you've read them all.



So much this


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

Correction:


Blazing CobaltX said:


> *Wilkins'/Raptorcloak/SkyMaiden* fics, read one and you've read them all.




Okay, maybe SkyMaiden mixes hers up a bit, but the sexual side is always the same.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 7, 2012)

I like Wilkins potrayel of Sakuras parents 

It's not like she's the same person every story, not one bit 

*Waits for someone to post examples*


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 7, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> j/k We all cool here. Pairing discussions are for the FCs, anything stupid regarding fanfics goes here. I would agree that a lot of bashing is just there for the sake of the author's pleasure (not the reader), most of it is unnecessary.



QFT.  We're here to discuss peeves we encounter in fan fics, not fandoms.  Unless they're really, really improbable in a purportedly serious work.  Crackfics are the "get out of jail free" cards of fan fiction, it seems.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

> What if the fox attack, Naruto was sent to our world and learned to be a U.S. Marine. Lemon scenes,friendship,family. U.S. Military weapons




This thing has 17 chapters...

I haven't read it, I just thought the summary was enough to justify mentioning it in a post.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 7, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> This thing has 17 chapters...
> 
> I haven't read it, I just thought the summary was enough to justify mentioning it in a post.



I bet it's stack-full of American egoism


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 7, 2012)

Like this one fic where Konoha loses to a Nation called "America" due to them having such a superior military, and somehow Ten Ten is taken captive or something.

I hate it when they mix modern geography/technology so awkwardly into a fantasy world... It spoils everything. It's why we can't have nice things.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 7, 2012)

I like the Narutoverse because it allows me to "escape" from my everyday life/this everyday world. Why mix it with ours?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 7, 2012)

LOL i bet they hate America. I mean America bashing is so cool right?


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 7, 2012)

fanon deidara for the LOSE.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 7, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> LOL i bet they hate America. I mean America bashing is so cool right?



Yup. All the cool kids do it.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

I'm sure I remember a fic where a group went on holiday away from Konoha.



They went to Japan


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 7, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I'm sure I remember a fic where a group went on holiday away from Konoha.
> 
> 
> 
> They went to Japan






:rofl


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 7, 2012)

It's just been confirmed that Kunoichis don't wear bras.  Imagine how all the fanfics will change! 



> What if naruto's parents never died? The Uchiha massacre never happened? Things were different. What if?



This sounds so corny.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 7, 2012)

Sounds like a story with no conflict. 

Inb4 Naruto gets Hirashin and is high-jonin level before he's out of the academy.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 7, 2012)

God....I just stumbled on the clusterfuck that is Sonichu...:rofl

FFFFFFUUUUU


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 7, 2012)

I'm getting in on the act: 



> akane is you average girl. okay thats a lie but she is known as the hyperactive twin sister of sakuke that know one knew about. but when you get into her mind she is not as inocent as she seems tobi/OC rated M for laguage and mabe sex seens



Okay so we have: a Mary Sue, no capitlization, poor spelling -- and that's just the summary. Not to mention *Sasuke does not have a sister.* Even if he did, why would no one know about her? 

And two by the same..."_author_":



> Madara is a drug addict who has hit rock bottom because of his addiction. While whoring himself out to anyone and everyone, Izuna must watch from the sidelines as Madara destroys his life. Can he save his big brother? Drug use, child abuse, rape, ect





> Madara has lost the war but Naruto saves him and takes him back to the Leaf. Madara is frightened and hateful to everyone there so can Naruto help Madara heal from his deep mental scars? Ooc, MadaNaru NaruMada



..... *twitch* *twitch* *FFUUUUUUUU!!!!* *head asplode* I can't even...there are just no words...AM I READING THE RIGHT SERIES YOU GUYS?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

Yes I do say, that the whole point of mentioning it. Since when has Japan been in the Naruto universe? That meme has no relevance.



Baby Joe said:


> It's just been confirmed that Kunoichis don't wear bras.  Imagine how all the fanfics will change!


And I do believe I already posted in that thread stating I can now save space on my fics by omitting the bra removal paragraph


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 7, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Yes I do say, that the whole point of mentioning it. Since when has Japan been in the Naruto universe? That meme has no relevance.



Actually the meme was meant to "symbollically" be adressed to the people who make Naruto visit Japan, which for me is quite idiotic.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 7, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> I'm getting in on the act:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



HAHAHAHAH!! GOD@DSFsd...this is such bullshit.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 7, 2012)

Here is another story that deserved to be in this thread.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 7, 2012)

I shouldn't be able to finish any piece of work in 24 seconds and I'm tired of this Sasuke 'love' angst that's put into every fucking fanfiction he appears in.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 7, 2012)

Sasuke and romance don't mix.  It just doesn't.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 7, 2012)

Ookyami said:


> Here is another story that deserved to be in this thread.



Oh. My. God.

 

Epic Facepalm Deluxe, if you please.



> Sasuke shook his head at the annoying girl. "You're just an annoying fan girl."


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 7, 2012)

One of my biggest trivial peeves:

Authors and reviewers alike who still fail to grasp the concept of 'quarters'.

"3/4ths"

"three fourths"

"I only have about three fourths of my chakra left."

For Christ's sake... It's not a 'fourth', it's a 'quarter'!


----------



## Arial (Mar 7, 2012)

Spelling summary as 'summery' or writing 'I suck as summaries!' inside the summary. I just skip those stories as I can't keep reading past that point. It grinds my gears way too much for me to continue.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 7, 2012)

A summary I just read lol



> How does a trip to the circus help Hinata experience teen lust for the first time? Summary is bad I kno sorry - - read and review please!



It's been *6 months* but I finally updated my fanfiction!  I must shamelessly plug it somewhere... perhaps my sig.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 7, 2012)

OH God...part 31 of MIL and I think I'm gonna quit now.

The way he narrated the godawful sex scenes made it funny;  now the shitty excuse for theplot is stating to creep up...and boring me to death.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 7, 2012)

what is MIL?


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 8, 2012)

Let's see what I can find on the first page of ff.n amongst the fics that are written in English.

#1



> Karasu ? by KuraiAme1
> Tsukiko Asuke, an anbu black op with many secrets and many bleak things bothering her. From losing her family and also losing the person she cared about the most, she must confront her old past and also must face new trials. ItachixOC o
> Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,755 - Updated: 3-7-12 - Published: 3-3-12 - Itachi U.


Nice grammar there.  I think they're called sentence fragments.  ItaOC?  *pukes*



> #2
> Ninja Tales: The One with the Shadows by AkatsukiDarkAngelGurl101
> Hitori Itami had lost everything and is slowly getting it back but now she has a problem. Hitori discovered her arranged marriage to Subaku no Gaara and he wants to destory the little life she has left. Read and find out more.
> Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Published: 3-7-12 - Gaara


hmmm...  Now why is 12-year-old Gaara getting married and why is he after her in particular?  Oh well, just another canonXOC.  At least the grammar does not make me cringe.  I'm assuming that Gaara has to be 12 here.



> When Hinata hears knews that her sister has been murdered, she makes the five hour trip to identify her body. Little did she know was that she was going to be charged with killing her own sister. Slow developing Hinata & Naruto. AU
> Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,635 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 3-7-12 - Published: 3-1-12 - Hinata H. & Naruto U.


I see the potential for a good fic here.  Gonna check it out.



> The demon Who Waited by HennaDaemon
> When Sasori dies, he's sent back in time turns into a dragon-demon-human hybrid and meets a character from his favorite childhood story! will he return to his own time, or choose to stay with his new immortal friend? T for future chapters. Dont own Naruto
> Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,151 - Published: 3-7-12 - Sasori





> 13. A New Hope for the Future ? by Yuuki-Hime 2097 reviews
> the Fourth Ninja War has come to an end. The only way to change everyone's fate is to change the past. Sakura goes back in to the past and go through challenges. Future pairing undecided.
> Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,567 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 3-7-12 - Published: 9-8-11 - Sakura H. & Tobirama S.


Sakura gets sent to the past.  I'm sure I've seen that one quite a bit.  Looks like both summaries need to be grammar checked.  Proper verb tenses, anyone?  The Sasori one at least seems original.



> 15. Alley full of stalkers by Harukoiuta
> Two teenage girls get lost in a forest, and Hanna wants to make it into an adventure by searching for the portal to the Naruto world. And along the way they meet their stalkers, boyfriends and get into a whole bunch of *Beeep* Pairings might change. Maybe
> Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,651 - Published: 3-7-12 - Orochimaru & Kabuto Y.


Based on the summary, I don't think it's another SasuOC or GaaraOC.  Whew, what a relief.    Oh wait, more people from our world are inserting themselves into the Naruto universe.  Is the Narutoverse really that hot of a vacation spot?  lol



> Naruto: the Flashing Ninja by dgj212 reviews
> What if Naruto could move at incredible speed and teleport as a side effect caused from his father jutsu? One-shot, can be continued if any one wants me to.
> Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-7-12 - Naruto U.


God-like Naruto again?  Like I haven't seen that a million times.



> Not Your Ordinary Girls ? by nessa3456 reviews
> Re-writing not your ordinary girls! Sakura,Ino,Tenten&Hinata shows up to Konoha hoping to get away from drama.Drama seems to always follow them around.When they meet the gorgeous boys ever will love spark?What make these girls diff?InoXShi HinXnar SasXSak
> Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,767 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-7-12 - Published: 2-1-12 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.



Welcome to the generic side-ship utopia and grammar hell.  I'm okay with the pairings individually, maybe except for SasuSaku, but there's way too many of these group coupling fics around.



> More stories of Kittens ? by TearsOfTheFallen reviews
> OCXMadara. Jeen wasn't used to company, heck, she wasn't used to anyone at all. But when she finds them, a box of S-Rankcriminal kittens, she knew that she was getting into more than she could handle.T for Hidan.Some Lol's here and there XD Summaries suck
> Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 50,894 - Reviews: 160 - Updated: 3-7-12 - Published: 7-4-11 - Akatsuki


OMG more Akatsukittens!  XD  Sorry, but kitty shelter's full.  In all seriousness, the Akatsuki are not kittens?



> 22. The Voice of Silence ? by Hinata's Shadow1 reviews
> Once an experiment, now a shinobi. What will happen when they go through the Genin Exchange? Will they find their humanity? Or will the beast within take hold? Only time and chakra will tell. NarutoXOC, GaaraXOC
> Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,252 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 3-7-12 - Published: 8-3-11 - Gaara & Naruto U.


This one actually looked nice until I read the pairing list.

This one's a pretty good one.  It's close to canon and I like the way the characters are written.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

The Narratology lecture I'm sat in right now has influenced me to write a quick comedy one-shot. It may not be for Naruto, but this is a fanfic discussion nonetheless. Why do writers of game fanfics not consider the actual player and their unpredictability?

BRB, gonna go and write a Mass Effect fanfic from Miranda's perspective where Shepard walks into walls and characters repeat the same lines of dialogue, thus making Miranda question her sanity.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 8, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Oh. My. God.
> 
> 
> 
> Epic Facepalm Deluxe, if you please.



something tells me by the look of that quotation within the sentence that sasuke is not amused by the woman who is fascinated by him in a 1 to 2 dimensional way. as if the former wasn't able to clear up the point enough.


----------



## Stripes (Mar 8, 2012)

Just realized how much more mpreg has dropped below belts. People need to label this stuff in there summary, not get me half way through an interesting plot sequence and go "BAM" pregnant.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 8, 2012)

Fuck MPreg. Fuck it so hard it has an abortion. Most disguting i ever heard of. Get a surrogate or an implant mom or whatever.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 8, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Fuck MPreg. Fuck it so hard it has an abortion. Most disguting i ever heard of. Get a surrogate or an implant mom or whatever.



So damn right.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 8, 2012)

So....in MPreg do they squeeze it through the ....eye? or...C-section?


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 8, 2012)

the next stage would be laying an egg that comes out of the male's anus.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 8, 2012)

Idk, go read one 

I'm guessing it comes out like a shit though.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

Just the concept of it, and how it somehow (scarily) became popular is enough to make me not want to read any examples whatsoever.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 8, 2012)

who invented mpreg anyway?


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 8, 2012)

some wishful thinker with a horrible imagination.


----------



## Arial (Mar 8, 2012)

Male pregnancy stories are typically terribly written shounen-ai or yaoi fics. I don't avoid Mpreg per se, its just that most of them get anatomical parts and biological functions wrong to go along with poor spelling and grammar.

Technically I suppose it isn't impossible for a male to be pregnant; I can conceive a hypothetical way to make a biological male 'pregnant'. Certainly not from casual sex line in most mpreg fics mind you.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

Some butthurt suffragette went and thought, "If women have to experience pain during birth, then I can make men feel it in fiction MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

What a bitch 

I'm not sexist, promise

@Arial: Your hypothesis doesn't have anything to do with a transplant involving female reproductive organs does it?

There have been pregnant men, even though they were just women who underwent a sex change and interrupted their hormone replacement therapies...

But even if such a medical phenomenon were truly possible, most of the factors actually look not at the possibility of a child's successful growth, but the man's survival. Men's bodies just aren't built to maintain a life in that way.


----------



## Arial (Mar 8, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Some butthurt suffragette went and thought, "If women have to experience pain during birth, then I can make men feel it in fiction MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
> 
> What a bitch
> 
> ...



Not necessarily the organ itself; I think the only real "jump" from modern science would be using cells from a male to create an egg cell. It'd still be incredibly risky and dangerous 'pregnancy' though. Mind you what I'm  imagining for such a fic isn't exactly voluntary.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 8, 2012)

How does a male give birth in MPreg, through his butthole or his dickhole?


----------



## Arial (Mar 8, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> How does a male give birth in MPreg, through his butthole or his dickhole?



Oh god 

I've read both through his rear end and via C-Section but never through a guy's shaft.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 8, 2012)

Arial said:


> Oh god
> 
> I've read both through his rear end and via C-Section but never through a guy's shaft.



Let's aim to keep it that way


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 8, 2012)

I've read a  sci fi story that involved male pregnancy.  But it involved a long process of the male growing a temporary artificial womb.  And it was oddly enough a matter of survival.  More interesting than any typical m-preg you'll ever find in fanfiction.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 8, 2012)

I came across this fic in which Naruto is held captive and some scientists manipulated his sex organs so he has a dick and a vagina. And gets preggers, I think even by impregnating himself.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

Stop talking about it you bastards. You make me want to shoot myself


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 8, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> I came across this fic in which Naruto is held captive and some scientists manipulated his sex organs so he has a dick and a vagina. And gets preggers, I think even by impregnating himself.



Having sex with yourself?

Dunno whether to love it or hate it


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 8, 2012)

M-preg is truly terrifying.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 8, 2012)

For Christmas, i want the worlds worst Naruto fanfic narrated by Morgan Freeman.

 Would be gold.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 8, 2012)

M-Preg is perhaps the weirdest part of Yaoi fanfiction. 

Should I post a horrible fic that needs emulation so we can get off this topic?


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 8, 2012)

That would be nice. I'm running low on mindsoap...


----------



## Arial (Mar 8, 2012)

So I felt like searching for a Tenten fanfic to read and this is the first result I came across:



> during the scroll incident Naruto awakens a bloodline but its a brand new one and he calls it random blood with the power to do things randomly and ironically Naruto will rise to the occasion and become one of the strongest yet strangest ninjas harem stry



There is no proper capitalization or punctuation and screams Gary Stu. Within the story cough is spelled 'Chough', additions of non-english words (i.e. Jiji), and Naruto can turn into an adult as a 10 year old.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 8, 2012)

I just read a story wherein Hashirama's name was misspelled like Hirashima.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 8, 2012)

@Arial; Why can't people ever use commas?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 8, 2012)

Blazing CobaltX said:


> I just read a story wherein Hashirama's name was misspelled like Hirashima.



LOOOL, no wai~~~~


----------



## Arial (Mar 8, 2012)

Blazing CobaltX said:


> I just read a story wherein Hashirama's name was misspelled like Hirashima.



Hiroshima?  As in one of the cities that was nuked during WWII?



Ookyami said:


> @Arial; Why can't people ever use commas?



No clue but it'd certainly help a lot of fanfic writers. Granted I'm a very poor writer myself.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 8, 2012)

No, Hir_a_shima, so I think the author just has the name wrong.


----------



## Horu (Mar 8, 2012)

Good, but still doesn't beat "Kotsue and Izsum - the gate watches"


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 8, 2012)

^   Now I'm just imagining a pair of Rolex watches sitting by the gate. Really though I can understand getting a name wrong once or twice by accident, but when it's every single time...don't you even know who you're writing about?

The chibi _Hirashima_ in my avatar disapproves.


----------



## Kezone (Mar 8, 2012)

ReaderX fics. Not to many in the naruto fandom, but still...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 8, 2012)

wait you mean ocxcanon chars. right?


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 8, 2012)

I don't care for first- or second-person narrative style.  Give me third-person every time, baby.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 8, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I don't care for first- or second-person narrative style.  Give me third-person every time, baby.



I agree. Second person is especially odd. I've seen them, but never bothered to read them.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

I favour third person (although I have written one chapter of one fic and two individual scenes from another fic in first person), but I like differing the tenses every so often.

I mostly go for past tense, but I'm getting used to present tense, too.

Now I'm dabbling with the idea of doing something weird for one chapter of something: Having the chapter as first person, but talking about another character (_not_ the reader) in the second person.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 8, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> wait you mean ocxcanon chars. right?


Unfortunately no. KezoneShippuden means (for example) You x Itachi. Self-insert at it's finest. 


TekJounin said:


> I don't care for first- or second-person narrative style.  Give me third-person every time, baby.


Yeah I agree with this. 1st person especially puts me off a fic 9 times out of ten.



Baby Joe said:


> I agree. Second person is especially odd. I've seen them, but never bothered to read them.


I've read maybe two (?) second person fics that were quite good, as both somehow managed to make it clear it's not actually _you_ the fic is about. Also isn't 2nd person against FFNet's rules? Not that those are _ever _followed mind you.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> Also isn't 2nd person against FFNet's rules? Not that those are _ever _followed mind you.


Only if the person being referred to is actually the reader. If the subject of the second person (i.e. the 'you') is just another character, then it should be okay.

And I follow those rules ....apart from the one regarding no sex 

Also, I have a confession mixed in with a question: Am I an asshole if I feel a little smug when I see someone's 24-chapter story with 158 reviews, and then look at my fic with only 3 chapters and 124 reviews? 

Or when I see someone's 8-chapter story with 58 reviews, when I've got a 1-chapter story with 50?


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 8, 2012)

^ Oh yes you totally are. 

Nah not really, everyone likes to see their work receiving acknowledgment. Though after I've posted a fic, after it's been up for a little while I generally don't care how many reviews I get. Reviews are awesome and all, but they're not the be all and end all. Especially when most of them just say "UPDATE PLZ."


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 8, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> Reviews are awesome and all, but they're not the be all and end all. Especially when most of them just say "UPDATE PLZ."


I'd certainly agree to that. I don't rate my e-penis based on my review number, I just like the fact that people have recognised it.

And I have a feeling that my attitude in some author's notes has leaked into the minds of the people who review my stuff. I seldom get 'OMG UPDATE NAO' reviews, most of mine are either constructive, general 'I enjoyed this for x, y and z reasons', and/or people simply saying that they look forward to the next update.

Those who say they can't wait for/look forward to the next update have my respect for showing their anticipation, 'OMG UPDATE NAO' reviewers do not simply because they're demanding something of me.


----------



## Horu (Mar 8, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I don't care for first- or second-person narrative style.  Give me third-person every time, baby.


Second-person I don't think ever works, but there was one story I read where first-person worked incredibly well.

I wasn't even planning on reading it, because it was something where Naruto was blind and I was looking for an action/adventure story at the time, but the first chapter hooked me.

Naruto was the narrator, and while it was nice that the author kept him rather in-character, the most impressive thing was how the story was related to the reader without any of the standard visual descriptions. This forced the author to bring attention to so much other detail that we often miss while focusing on visuals, and fortunately they took good advantage of it throughout most of the story, letting us "see" the village and the people by means of touch, sound, smell, and occasionally taste. It was possibly the most unique portrayal of the canon Naruto world that I've read so far.

There was also the tension of Naruto trying to keep his superiors fooled into thinking he could see in order to remain a ninja, and his situation was surprisingly easy to sympathize with... which is getting off topic, but point is, first-person can work very well in unique circumstances.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 8, 2012)

Horu said:


> Second-person I don't think ever works, but there was one story I read where first-person worked incredibly well.
> 
> I wasn't even planning on reading it, because it was something where Naruto was blind and I was looking for an action/adventure story at the time, but the first chapter hooked me.
> 
> ...



Now, that sounds intriguing.

The ones I shudder at are typically: "I froze when I saw the man who had broken my heart, arm-in-arm with that red-haired hussy.  My heart shattered into a thousand pieces and my mind shrieked.  I ran blindly, sobbing as if someone had died.  I stumbled and fell to my knees, uncaring that someone would see me, an elite ninja crying.  I shakily rose and threw myself into a nearby alley, which reeked of garbage and filth.  I drew long shuddering breaths until I could cry no more.  Slowly, like a broken doll, I shambled into the marketplace and made my pitiful way home."  

Or worse, the one that overpraise themselves: "I made the perfect backflip and expertly kicked Sasuke in the groin on my way down.  Having taken out the raven, I immediately spun in mid-air and delivered an expert kick to Naruto's fat mouth.  Landing gracefully, I dusted off my gloves and smirked saucily at my two disheveled and defeated team mates.  That will teach them to demand I make them sandwiches!  I didn't even have a molecule of sweat on my exquisite porcelain skin.  I smoothed down my shirt and flipped my luxuriant hair before sexily stretching and then jauntily skipping away from the training field."


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 8, 2012)

I have written a Potterfic in first person, with alternating point of views between Harry Potter, Tom Riddle, and Albus Dumbledore. For each "voice" I use a different vocabulary, writing style (Tom Riddle is written in conceited, overly complicated purple prose, Harry in simple, swift, action-oriented prose, Albus in quirky, educated, intelligent but odd, short-sentenced prose) and so on.

I have over a thousand reviews for it.

So I guess you -can- pull first person off, as long as you religiously avoid inserting yourself into any character, and making then into a crypto-Gary Stu.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 8, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> The ones I shudder at are typically: "*I* froze when *I* saw the man who had broken *my* heart, arm-in-arm with that red-haired hussy.  *My* heart shattered into a thousand pieces and *my* mind shrieked.  *I* ran blindly, sobbing as if someone had died.  *I* stumbled and fell to *my* knees, uncaring that someone would see me, an elite ninja crying.  *I* shakily rose and threw myself into a nearby alley, which reeked of garbage and filth.  *I* drew long shuddering breaths until *I* could cry no more.  Slowly, like a broken doll, *I* shambled into the marketplace and made *my* pitiful way home."


That's one of the main reasons why I can't read first person fics. 'I' and 'my' are used twice in practically every sentence. That and countless other things make me avoid them like the plague. I can't think of more than two or three examples of a first person fic that actually turned out to be good.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 9, 2012)

^Same here.

Also, I think it's important to do some research on how things were/are in a specific era, country or whatever, and also adapt to the original character's style in the canon.

For example, if you write a Sherlock Holmes fic, it would be simply idiotic to let Dr. Watson speak in a "Holmes totally freaked out when he saw the pink lube bottle I held in my hands."-manner (haha,that was just an example, though I have read plenty of Holmes-fics which simply weren't well adapted. 

Concerning Naruto fic, I can't stand it when people overdo it with the Japanese honorifics (especially when used wrongly) and, what's worse: Ending everything Naruto says with "Dattebayo". This little word only makes sense in Japenese, I don't have to read an ENGLISH fic with the cute little word. If you're so keen on hearing "Dattebayo" all the time, go watch the subbed anime.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 9, 2012)

Speaking of canon settings (I may have ranted on this before), I wish people would stop giving the magical flying ninjas phones and other technologies that don't exist in the Narutoverse.   I know it's handy to do so but it still irks me.

Cell phones, home phones, iPods, internet...these things don't exist.  I can grudgingly give leeway on DVDs, as they've been shown to have VCRs, so it's not such a stretch.  But if they had phones of any sort, there would be no need for messenger birds, chakra-sealed scrolls or running 3 days to Suna and those things are integral to many a story line.

And speaking of Suna, I've read stories where people go to visit the Sand Village and it only takes them a day or a few hours to get there.  I'd rather they be accurate about that.  No need to write the whole trip out; just stay accurate with the canon 3-day length of the trip.

Which somehow brings me to teleportation.  Kakashi poofs out of places a lot but he seems to be the only character who regularly does it.  Many stories allow everyone to poof around.  I haven't found much information on the mechanics of it or what rank jutsu it might be but it's _not_ common for anyone else.

Also, when I read about characters "pigging out" on ice cream, pizza or other Western junk food staples, it feels rather like a mini self-insert.  Sort of "this is what a typical teenager like me does" sort of thing.  I'm sure they can afford to overindulge, since they train so much, but Naruto and Chouji seem to be the only ones who really shovel in the chow.  And don't get me started on stories with Sasuke eating ice cream, candy or other sweets, especially if it's to make him comically hyper.  He's said he doesn't like them and he even made his particularly irritated face when he did.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 9, 2012)

It's okay if you make the fic set in AU. I usually am sceptical when reading an AU fic, but I've came across some very few exceptionally good ones. The plot was well-planned, at that is imo essential for a good fic. If the plot is good and everything makes sense, I can even tolerate AU-fics with Naruto being an exchange student in the US and sharing a pizza with his room mate, who is watching a dvd on his laptop, for example.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 9, 2012)

Gender bending fics.

Why?


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 9, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Gender bending fics.
> 
> Why?



Sexy-no-jutsu.

Also allows for yaoi-without-being-gay.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 9, 2012)

It's still stoopad...


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 9, 2012)

it makes me wonder why people love to write and rehase the same thing over and over again. another sasunaru fic is just gonna be lost in the millions of piles of the same story.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 9, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> It's still stoopad...



But it was sooo trendy to make everyone gay!  Or declare oneself a lesbian.  It gets attention!

And maybe some females think it's nice revenge to have those hot guys become weak girls.  I dunno.



bloodplzkthxlol said:


> it makes me wonder why people love to write and rehase the same thing over and over again. another sasunaru fic is just gonna be lost in the millions of piles of the same story.



I have occasionally read a story that has an over-used plot line but the story itself was well-crafted and very enjoyable.  Just as it only takes one apple to spoil the barrel, it only takes one lousy fan fic to inspire a barrel of bad ones.  It's a happy thing to find the good ones in that mess.

On a rather depressing note, I sometimes wonder if some people have let their imaginations wither.  It's easy to let television, movies, print media, etc. entertain the masses and it takes the work out of trying to come up with something original and attention-getting.  Look at how many people follow internet memes, current fashion including hairstyles--any fad gets spread so easily these days.  Individuality and free thought seem to have suffered for it.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 9, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> "I froze when I saw the man who had broken my heart, arm-in-arm with that red-haired hussy."



 Lemme guess: Karin?



Tomcat171 said:


> Gender bending fics.
> 
> Why?



Dat Naruko. 

Dat Sasuko 

Dat FemHaku....


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 9, 2012)

Karin bashing.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 9, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Karin bashing.



maybe they see her as just another fangirl?


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 9, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> maybe they see her as just another fangirl?



But she's way more epic than Sakura and Ino


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 9, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Dat FemHaku....



Oh yeah.


> "By the way....I'm a BOY."
> 
> "WHAT? NO WAY! HE'S PRETTIER THAN SAKURA!"



How much more explicit can one make it that Haku is not female?


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 9, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> But she's way more epic than Sakura and Ino



no. 






.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 9, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> no.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Y u hatin'?

Anyways, check this out



> Same Saito, same story. It's been 3 years since Naruto was banished. In those three years Naruto has rebuilt the whirlpool village. Danzo is plotting war *what will whirlpool have to say about this*? Naru/Saku.



That it's gonna suck


----------



## Spock (Mar 9, 2012)

Big shot businessman fic written by someone who has no idea what business is.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 9, 2012)

^ Yep. AU fics when people have no clue what they're writing about and clearly did not do any research is another one for the list.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 9, 2012)

I despise highscool AU fics. I have read like over 50, and only ONE single fic was enjoyable.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 9, 2012)

Ookyami said:


> I despise highscool AU fics. I have read like over 50, and only ONE single fic was enjoyable.



Same goes for me, I only found Lucky Charm enjoyable.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 9, 2012)

Blazing CobaltX said:


> Same goes for me, I only found Lucky Charm enjoyable.



Lucky charm was good


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 9, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Lucky charm was good



That's what I meant.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 9, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Lucky charm was good


You said you liked mine...

Even though the 'high school' part is really just a side-setting to justify what the plot's actually about...


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 9, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> You said you liked mine...
> 
> Even though the 'high school' part is really just a side-setting to justify what the plot's actually about...



Hey i said Lucky charm was good...

Not awesome like yours, good and aweosme are two different tiers


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 9, 2012)

Oh you


----------



## Spock (Mar 10, 2012)

I enjoy HS fics if done properly. There are ones that have extremely juicy plots, too bad there are difficult to find. ;-;


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 10, 2012)

I don't like any High School AUs. I used to like the well-written ones, when I was myself in high-school, because I used to be able to relate to all the plot tools, like the popularity thing, the cliques, the whole social ladder and so on.

However, looking back now that I have been out of high-school for some good six years, I find all of these issues really minute and uninteresting. Sure, he's a popular kid and she's an unpopular kid, and she gets bullied and... There's bigger issues outside in the real world, like not making enough money to pay for your damn electricity bill, like owing the mortgage, like your husband having cancer.

The competitive, sick, petty social environment of high-schools disgusts me.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 10, 2012)

^ I agree with this. I just hate Highschool fics. I never liked them even when I was young enough to be in High School-- I'd just spent all day at school and didn't really want to go back during my time off.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 10, 2012)

What about SasuSaku Highschool fics? 


The reader is Hinata in this story!


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 10, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> What about SasuSaku Highschool fics?


I don't read Sasuke pairings, so I can't really comment on that without veering off-topic into pairings/anti-pairings territory.





> The reader is Hinata in this story!


 Oh joy. /sarcasm


----------



## princess of iwagakure (Mar 10, 2012)

Argh High School fics. Those fics with lame gossiping, author's self-inserts, and trading partners ruthlessly!?

But to be honest, there is one high school fic I like. The two main characters are listed as Naruto and Sakura, but it should actually be Naruto and Sasuke. Since it focuses on the two, and Naruto chooses Sasuke over anybody else in the story. To make a long story short, Sasuke is caught by regret of his past and family that he is slowly sliding away from his friends. Naruto, the good friend he is tries to stop it. Sakura is a...well bonus? 

Other than that, I haven't seen any good high school fics. 

@Baby Joe When have the Japanese mafia ever ruled the US Northeast? I'm Japanese(American) and I have NEVER heard of it...


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 10, 2012)

naruto turning out to really being kyuubi.  just comes off as another annoying super naruto fic. honestly when you change so many things like the characters and how they act, the setting, its no longer naruto that you're writing/reading.


----------



## princess of iwagakure (Mar 10, 2012)

^ 
What do you mean by Naruto turning out to be Kyuubi?
Do you mean that he merges with Kyuubi? But isn't that kind of what is happening now in the manga? Or are you saying that Kurama and Naruto are the same person/animal? Wait, how is that even possible


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 10, 2012)

i mean naruto actually being the nine tails. remember what mizuki said? "You ARE the nine tailed fox!"


----------



## princess of iwagakure (Mar 10, 2012)

Huh? If he is the nine-tailed fox, what does he have sealed inside him? Or does he have nothing sealed inside him? Is he literally, really, the nine-tailed fox?

Sorry for bombing you with questions


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 10, 2012)

well, remember those fics of naruto being just a regressed fourth hokage? going by the name Arashi Kazama?

basically writers could take advantage of the mysteriousness behind the sealing during the kyuubi attack.

naruto's dad was the 4th!
no wai~ the fourth turned himself into a baby! *lolwut*
naruto IS the nine tailed fox!


----------



## Vermin (Mar 10, 2012)

^ Stories like those just plain confuse me.  I mean, how could the fourth turn himself into a child? And if naruto is kyuubi, then how can he be a child? It makes my head hurt just thinking about the explanations and reasons.


Baby Joe said:


> The reader is Hinata in this story!


 
I must read this fanfic.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 10, 2012)

sometimes i really want to create an alternate account on ff.net so I can toss every bad idea I've ever had there.  And it wouldn't be associated with my decent stuff.

there has always been stuff I've wanted to write that I'm sure is bad but i want to get it out of my system.  But at the same time, for the lolz, leave it out in the open for other people to read without it being traceable back to me.


----------



## Horu (Mar 10, 2012)

Yeah me too.

Only problem is, I don't even get my good stuff written, let alone my crack/parody fics


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 10, 2012)

whenever naruto leaves the village in fics its always the elders. hello? why would they get rid of such a strong weapon?


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 10, 2012)

Yeah you'd think they'd follow Clouds footsteps and turn Naruto into a weapon.  But fanfics where Konoha chase Naruto out were probably written before KillerBee's backstory.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 10, 2012)

Who exactly is this Arashi Kazama guy I keep hearing about?


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 10, 2012)

it was the name fans gave the 4th hokage before we knew his real name. it was either arashi kazama or uzumaki. the name came from the frog scroll contract and people thought surely one of them belonged to the 4th.


----------



## princess of iwagakure (Mar 10, 2012)

Ah! That is why all the fics have the Fourth's name as Arashi!

Btw, is this fic that turns the fourth Hokage into a baby, the one which Naruto ends up in jail forever until his wife(Hyuuga, not Hinata) of the next timeline rescues him out?


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 10, 2012)

i dunno. i never liked that theory.


----------



## Stripes (Mar 10, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> whenever naruto leaves the village in fics its always the elders. hello? why would they get rid of such a strong weapon?



that sounds more canon then fictional. the elders are always marked as the bad guys in fics. I snort at it all the time.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 11, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> Who exactly is this Arashi Kazama guy I keep hearing about?



Apparently the Forth Hokage's actual name!


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 11, 2012)

That was before we knew who he was, though.  

Anyone else finding odd ass names in the char list for Naruto? Some of these people I have no trucking clue who they are.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 11, 2012)

^ Yes. I think lots of them must be filler characters. Why they get a filter when there are no fics for most of them is a mystery though. Unless they have fics about them in some other language.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 11, 2012)

There is one character on FF simply listed as 'unknown'. That includes the lower case denotation...

Any takers?


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 11, 2012)

I don't think it refers to one character, but just OCs in general. Kind of like a 'none of the above' tag.


----------



## Arial (Mar 12, 2012)

I hate words or phrases that keep repeating in a paragraph. As an example I just read a fic in which an author wrote "for now" at either the end of every sentence or at the beginning of one for an entire paragraph. 

"For now" was sticking out like a sore thumb.


----------



## taydev (Mar 12, 2012)

taydev said:


> -I enjoy yaoi only if it's canon in the source and with a good plot. Not just buttsex. Therefore, I hate yaoi/yuri when the characters are obviously HET.



I just read Break to Breathe and On the Cusp by Okami Rayne. It was a ShikaNeji yaoi and I loved it. It was written extremely well and with a great plot. I think of neji and shika as het characters, but Idunno, the author just made these two work somehow. Therefore, with this discovery, I must retract my previous statement.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 12, 2012)

From what I've experienced, it's not the setting and scenario of a fic that may repulse a potential reader, it's how the author writes it.  If they have crap grammar and can't honestly give reason and detail to the events, then it's not appealing IMO.

Maybe that's why most HS and lemon fics are crap.

I've had a few reviews on one of my fics telling me that they've never liked nor considered reading whatever type(s) of fic it was, but I managed to pull them in regardless.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 12, 2012)

That obviously means you have some degree of talent: be proud bro


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 12, 2012)

What i hate the most is a summary potraying Naruto as this big badass friend who snorts coke, is a pimp and is Spartacus's descendant or something  and at the end says...


....

....


*Spoiler*: __ 



NaruHina 




Also one of the worst kinds of fics 

*'What if Naruto was not the only Jinchūriki of the Leaf? What if Hinata shared that same Burden ? Watch as they begin the series and forge their way forward, fueled by the same Nindo. Experience a new telling of the story you know so well!'*

Hinata as a jinchuriki? Really dude?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 12, 2012)

Narupair 

smh, I'm getting sick of seeing pairings in my fics; Gonna keep my own as ambiguous as possible...


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 12, 2012)

I found this wonderful story and I urge you all to read it.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 12, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Narupair
> 
> smh, I'm getting sick of seeing pairings in my fics; Gonna keep my own as ambiguous as possible...


I think one of the few reasons I write pairing fics is because there aren't that many fics of my preferred pairings that I would deem 'good'. So I think, "Fuck it", and write them myself.

This is definitely the case with NaruSamu, I've got something interesting lined up for my attempt, something that I think would be interesting and actually _believable_.


----------



## Arial (Mar 12, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Narupair
> 
> smh, I'm getting sick of seeing pairings in my fics; Gonna keep my own as ambiguous as possible...



I can appreciate a good romance/paring despite the characters if the fic has good quality and is realistically done. Even some of the more crackish and specifically humorous ones.


----------



## Spock (Mar 12, 2012)

I once read Kimimarou x TenTen. So Good. I appreciate crack.

Yaoi. No.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 12, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I found this wonderful story and I urge you all to read it.




*Spoiler*: _A Small Portion_ 





> And how did you get the idea that I'm gay? snort And the girls in the GNA aren't my type.
> 
> HOW CAN NONE OF THE GIRLS IN THE GREATER NINJA AREA NOT BE YOUR TYPE?
> 
> ...







... :sanji​


----------



## CandleGuy (Mar 12, 2012)

Skimmed through the first few pages of FF.net for Naruto

Fangirls writing for fangirls.


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 12, 2012)

I usually have to scroll through about 10 pages before I find even 1 fic that appeals to me.
Especially when it comes to pairings... 
Crack pairings are better when it comes to things like this I find.

I really do hope that those horrendous extracts I've seen posted here are just troll fics


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 12, 2012)

taydev said:


> I just read Break to Breathe and On the Cusp by Okami Rayne. It was a ShikaNeji yaoi and I loved it. It was written extremely well and with a great plot. I think of neji and shika as het characters, but Idunno, the author just made these two work somehow. Therefore, with this discovery, I must retract my previous statement.



Whatever anyone's opinion on homosexuality is, Break to Breathe is an excellent piece of fiction.

And it's not even remotely yaoi (yaoi meaning=meaningless gay sex), it's 99% psychological plot, 1% fanservice. Very well-written stuff.

And hell knows I'm STRICT with fanfiction.


----------



## taydev (Mar 12, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Whatever anyone's opinion on homosexuality is, Break to Breathe is an excellent piece of fiction.
> 
> And it's not even remotely yaoi (yaoi meaning=meaningless gay sex), it's 99% psychological plot, 1% fanservice. Very well-written stuff.
> 
> And hell knows I'm STRICT with fanfiction.



It sure is a beautiful story

I'm used to using the term yaoi even if it isn't mindless sex. Just a habit? But yea it's so much more than that; very psychological indeed.


----------



## Horu (Mar 12, 2012)

I think "shounen ai" is usually used for stories where there's a proper relationship, while "yaoi" is best taken as a warning to run away screaming.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 12, 2012)

CandleGuy said:


> Skimmed through the first few pages of FF.net for Naruto
> 
> Fangirls writing for fangirls.





*Spoiler*: __ 



I'll pay you -100.00 to read my fanstory.  It's specialized for fangirls.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 13, 2012)

Thinking about that, who do guys write for?

At first I write for me, to get better, get feedback and prove that I can write something that breaks stereotypes (i.e. the stereotype that all FFs are crap ). Then once I get enough people interested, I start writing it for them, too, but not enough so that I let them dictate where the story goes, that's still my prerogative, flames and loss of readers be damned.


----------



## Spock (Mar 13, 2012)

I do not write but I like when the writer is his own master. Story already outlined and no polls involved.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 13, 2012)

Eli said:


> I do not write but I like when the writer is his own master. Story already outlined and no polls involved.



I write, and even though I occasionally write clearly predetermines stories, with clear plots, I once started a story and said "it will turn out to be the best possible mixture of all the intelligent suggestions I get". Why would I do that to myself? For the challenge.

It easy to write a realistic ShikaTema if you have read about and written about the characters before. But try writing something you don't like or ship at all, like a genfic about a young Orochimaru, or a SakuLee, and suddenly making it _feel canon_ becomes delicious and challenging.

So I guess, to each their own.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 13, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I found this wonderful story and I urge you all to read it.





this seriously deserves an Epic Facepalm Deluxe.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 13, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> I found this wonderful story and I urge you all to read it.



Is this supposed to tell people what NOT to write in a fanfiction?


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 13, 2012)

Eli said:


> I do not write but I like when the writer is his own master. Story already outlined and no polls involved.


 I tend to go along with this. I can understand a degree of flexibility if that's what the author wants, but when I write I'm the one running the show, regardless of if I've planned the whole thing down to the last meticulous detail or if I just have a general idea of where I'm going with it. 





AngstToThePeople said:


> I write, and even though I occasionally write clearly predetermines stories, with clear plots, I once started a story and said "it will turn out to be the best possible mixture of all the intelligent suggestions I get". Why would I do that to myself? For the challenge.


I'm tempted to ask if you got enough intelligent suggestions for that to work. :ho In all seriousness though, that's a pretty good way of challenging yourself. 


> It easy to write a realistic ShikaTema if you have read about and written about the characters before. But try writing something you don't like or ship at all, like a genfic about a young Orochimaru, or a SakuLee, and suddenly making it _feel canon_ becomes delicious and challenging.
> 
> So I guess, to each their own.


 I have a great fondness for fics with unlikely or not well known characters. The same goes for crack-pairings-- some people can write something that when you see the pairing you go "lol what?" but then you read it and realise it was written better than most fics of popular pairings/characters.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 13, 2012)

I guess I can't really be angry at fangirl pandering. in the end isn't that what fanfiction was invented for?  for 'what if' wish fullfuillment?


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 13, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Thinking about that, who do guys write for?
> 
> At first I write for me, to get better, get feedback and prove that I can write something that breaks stereotypes (i.e. the stereotype that all FFs are crap ). Then once I get enough people interested, I start writing it for them, too, but not enough so that I let them dictate where the story goes, that's still my prerogative, flames and loss of readers be damned.



Just read your 'Just reward'  fanfic


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 13, 2012)

HERPADERP VOTE FOR A PAIRING IN MAH STORYYYY


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 13, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Just read your 'Just reward'  fanfic


I'm actually kind of embarrassed about that 

But I did say in the description that it's not meant to be totally serious, that's a fic I wrote for lemon's sake. And yes, I had a poll asking about who the third woman should be in the sequel...

*Sinner right here*

I do, at the least, want to try and write the happenings thereafter with some amount of tact. Rather than have everybody immediately say, "We're okay with this."


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 14, 2012)

Y so dead? 

I would edit my previous post, but this place is deserted and needs the attention it deserves.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 14, 2012)

I trusted you Tom, but you lied to me. That makes me 

Fucking high school fanfictions...


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 14, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> I trusted you Tom, but you lied to me. That makes me
> 
> Fucking high school fanfictions...


Eh? Whadideyedoonao? I did nufm' wrong... 

Fine. FUUF YOUOY 

Oh wait, I see, you didn't notice my use of sarcasm and Highly Specific Denial.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 14, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Oh wait, I see, you didn't notice my use of sarcasm and Highly Specific Denial.



Of course it was sarcasm, but I still trusted you and you betrayed me Tomcat. I will come to forgive you, but it will take quite some time for me to fully recover from this betrayal.



> Fine. FUUF YOUOY


This makes me even more


----------



## The Jeffrey (Mar 14, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Y so dead?
> 
> I would edit my previous post, but this place is deserted and needs the attention it deserves.



I couldn't get past the first paragraph. Who freaking exposes everything in less than 50 words? 

We might all know that Naruto has the Kyuubi but if it's an AU then they should at least try to build up to it or even (though I hate it for being used too much) starting the story with the sealing.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 14, 2012)

I gave up after the first info-cram paragraphs, so I didn't even get to the gender-bent Sasuke, Gary Stu Naruto, Hinata Bashing and bad spelling. But still


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 14, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> I gave up after the first info-cram paragraphs, so I didn't even get to the gender-bent Sasuke, Gary Stu Naruto, *Hinata Bashing and bad spelling.* But still




*Spoiler*: _Hinata Bashing and Bad Spelling/Grammar_ 





> He only had dated her because she was the only girl around at the time, which even looked some what decent. She changed after about a week of them dating she became an evil, arrogant bitch that seemed to like abusing Naruto. They dated for three and half weeks before he grew tired of it and threw her out when they were on a double date with a few good friends. Literally, he picked her up from her seat yelled 'we are through', walked to the door and threw her out. He then went to tell the door man 'never let her in this establishment if I am here'. Since Naruto was a frequent costumer he did not object. Tsume, Kiba's mother owned the place and when she heard from Kiba about what happened she banned Hinata from ever coming back. The next day she let Naruto drink some alcohol to calm him down and drown his sorrow from the whole event. Naruto got tanked that day and ended up in Hana's room.
> 
> Hinata had not realized the brown-haired girl standing to the right of her until it was too late she was roundhouse kicked into an open locker, and then it was shut by that same woman.



_(Later on in the story...)_



> Hana remembered something "OO SHIT, I LEFT HINATA IN THE LOCKER" The rest of the table looked at her a little surprised by her all of a sudden yelling, but then Naruto started laughing his ass off almost to the point where he fell off his seat. Kiba wasn't fairing to well either. Gaara was trying his hardest not to laugh. While the other girls understood that Hana was going to be in trouble and knew they had to help her someway. Kakashi, who was leaving the lunchroom laughed a little bit and then moved on to help Hinata, of course he would make sure she never would get Hana in trouble.






You can pretty much go to any paragraph in that story to find Naruto being a Gary Stu. The author goes out of their way to make sure he does nothing wrong. Even when he does do something wrong, they go even further to say that it was someone else's fault.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 14, 2012)

^ Oh my god. That Hinata abuse-- that's the most unsubtle character bashing I've seen in ages (I avoid badfics when I can). And not only is Naruto a god awful Stu, he's also a complete douchebag.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 14, 2012)

There was one section in the first chapter where they reveal that students who can't freely pay for tuition at the school enrol in the military to have it paid for them. According to the author, Naruto is a Gunnery Sergeant and Gaara is 'close to' a Captain.

What in the name of...?


----------



## CandleGuy (Mar 14, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> I guess I can't really be angry at fangirl pandering. in the end isn't that what fanfiction was invented for?  for 'what if' wish fullfuillment?



TBH I do it.

Well not exactly pandering to fangirls but like writing "fluff" and if the fangirls squee then all the better. I do feel a sense of accomplishment from that because getting a real reaction from the reader even if its "oh my God I luv it! Kawaiiii" is never a bad thing. 

The difference is though, a majority of the fanfics out there the entire story is constructed to be wish fulfillment/self insertion or fangirl bait. Like the authors came into the story wanting to fangirl first and then tried to force a story out of that.

If the entire story stems from the desire of wanting to bang Sasori or a Uchi then _chances _are it might not be good.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 14, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> ^ Oh my god. That Hinata abuse-- that's the most unsubtle character bashing I've seen in ages (I avoid badfics whenI can). And not only is Naruto a god awful Stu, he's also a complete douchebag.


It gets a lot worse in later chapters where they do Hinata bashing and Naruto wanking simultaneously. 

*Spoiler*: __ 





> Hinata grinned evilly completely forgetting the bike that Naruto was using was nothing short of awesome. "I agree but when I win you and I will continue dating with no breaking up or complaining unless done by me."
> 
> Naruto smirked. "Deal if I win you never talk to me or my friends ever again, ever, you got that if you do I get full permission to beat the shit out of you and take your car." Hinata nodded again still failing to estimate the pure strength of Naruto's bike. As soon as the light turned green, Naruto was gone. Hinata spent a full 12 seconds peeling her tires. Naruto had a huge lead and he wasn't going to let up.





Despite being terrible, it's actually pretty close to comic relief or is that just me?


Tomcat171 said:


> There was one section in the first chapter where they reveal that students who can't freely pay for tuition at the school enrol in the military to have it paid for them. According to the author, Naruto is a Gunnery Sergeant and Gaara is 'close to' a Captain.


Yeah, that really bugged me. Naruto and Gaara are teenagers taking down drug lords and terrorists with relative ease. 
---------------------------------------
Another pet peeve, people who 'demand' reviews and likes to their stories.



> This is a quick announcement if someone if I don't get at least two comments and maybe one more like to this story or it will be discontinued, I have to say I am disappointed truthfully, I mean seriously nobody is reading this at all, so if I don't get one more like and two comments in the next week. It's over for this story.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 14, 2012)

> "Deal if I win you never talk to me or my friends ever again, ever, you got that if you do I get full permission to beat the shit out of you and take your car."


Did I just read that right?

Did the author seriously just pull a "Heads, I win. Tails, you lose." and allowed the forthcoming victim to be _okay_ with it? Jesus. I'm trying so hard to not leave review for this now...


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 14, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Another pet peeve, people who 'demand' reviews and likes to their stories.



"read mah stories 'cos no one likes them and I don't see the point  *not asking for pity to get more viewers at all*"


It's irritating.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 14, 2012)

I once playfully set a review benchmark in an author's note, but I was still going to write for it even if that _playful_ benchmark wasn't reached. It's not the quantity of reviews I look at, it's the content of said reviews. That way I know if I'm on the right or wrong track.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 14, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> There was one section in the first chapter where they reveal that students who can't freely pay for tuition at the school enrol in the military to have it paid for them. According to the author, Naruto is a Gunnery Sergeant and Gaara is 'close to' a Captain.
> 
> What in the name of...?


   It makes you wonder if these people have ever attended a school.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 14, 2012)

> Since Naruto was a frequent _*costumer *_he did not object.


I'll agree that the orange outfit he wears is a bit garish but a "costume?"   I think someone couldn't bribe a beta reader to touch that heap of grot.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 14, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I'll agree that the orange outfit he wears is a bit garish but a "costume?"   I think someone couldn't bribe a beta reader to touch that heap of grot.



I am bizarrely imagining Naruto in drag now. 

I might if I was really broke...no. I wouldn't associate myself with such drivel (snobbery!). Beta reading a fic like that one to make it passably decent would involve re-writing it yourself.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 14, 2012)

FrayedThread said:


> "read mah stories 'cos no one likes them and I don't see the point  *not asking for pity to get more viewers at all*"
> 
> 
> It's irritating.



I don't like review whores.  If nobody is giving your story a review, then that shou:d tell you something.

Though I can somewhat understand if your fanfiction is on the favorites list of say a hundred people and only thirty reviews were given.


----------



## The Jeffrey (Mar 14, 2012)

Ookyami said:


> I don't like review whores.  If nobody is giving your story a review, then that shou:d tell you something.
> 
> Though I can somewhat understand if your fanfiction is on the favorites list of say a hundred people and only thirty reviews were given.





I've got like 500 favorites on one story and get like five reviews per chapter, though I don't really care since I get good feedback.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 14, 2012)

Ookyami said:


> I don't like review whores.  If nobody is giving your story a review, then that shou:d tell you something.
> 
> Though I can somewhat understand if your fanfiction is on the favorites list of say a hundred people and only thirty reviews were given.



  I tend to get more favorites on my stuff than reviews but I'm content with that.  It's just quiet feedback.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 14, 2012)

Not only is the summary unsatisfying, but the author's note contains this:


*Spoiler*: __ 





> Rest of summary... Sakura doesn't have a crush on Sasuke only Naruto who returns the fealing, Sakura will be the 10 Tailed Wolf Demon, some people call her the Oni ōkami shōjo, meaning demon wolf girl. Her real parents will be revealed in Chapter 2


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 14, 2012)

Oh, it's a Ten-tailed wolf Mary-S... I mean, Sakura.

How original.


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 14, 2012)

I normally read the fics posted here, but I'm not even about to put myself through that.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 14, 2012)

I MADE IT UP FIRST.  Mine was the bestest~~

smh, I only get like 1 or 2 revs per chapter, but I have like 97 favs and 101 alerts or something like that. I'm confused. Gonna try and finish it anyway, since I've put almost two years into it.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 14, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Oh, it's a Ten-tailed wolf Mary-S... I mean, Sakura.
> 
> How original.



 The only thing going correct for this story is the NaruSaku.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 14, 2012)

Ookyami said:


> The only thing going correct for this story is the NaruSaku.


Because it pisses off the NarHin FF tards?


----------



## Nymph Goddess (Mar 15, 2012)

You know what is starting to annoy me?

Not so much of the fic or story itself...the goddamn summaries that are alright until you get to 'strong naruto, smart naruto'...ugh...you might as well just say 'over powered gary stu naruto' because that is the vibe i'm getting when i read the summary and i caution myself before deciding to read the fic. 

and if it has me cringing from badly over use of the 'village mob', sympathetic kyuubi, or some SI that trains naruto not to mention HORRIBLE grammar I'm getting out of it like a bat outta hell!

the summary was fine WITHOUT the added part where you have to tell me this naruto will be a 'powerful, smarter, etc' naruto...then again maybe it's good you did that way i can simply AVOID it without wasting my time to read what i fear it will be.


----------



## Dejablue (Mar 15, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Because it pisses off the NarHin FF tards?



Neither are good. I mean I've seen some stories where Hinata is a Jinchuriki.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 15, 2012)

Like I said, Narupair smh


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## Whirlpool (Mar 15, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Neither are good. I mean I've seen some stories where Hinata is a Jinchuriki.



I linked a fail fanfic summary back somewhere where Hinata is a jinchuuriki.

Fucking Hinatards man 

Naruto needs to get with Ino, Samui, Temari or Ayame


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 15, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I linked a fail fanfic summary back somewhere where Hinata is a jinchuuriki.
> 
> Fucking Hinatards man
> 
> Naruto needs to get with Ino, Samui, Temari or Ayame


Sorry to disappoint, but the latest page 1 of M-rated completed fics with only Naruto as a tagged character are listed thus:

17 - Naruto & Sasuke
4 - Naruto & Hinata
1 - Naruto Only
1 - Naruto & Sakura
1 - Naruto & Kakashi
1 - Naruto & Chouji

How yaoi prevails, I _still_ cannot comprehend


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 15, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Sorry to disappoint, but the latest page 1 of M-rated completed fics with only Naruto as a tagged character are listed thus:
> 
> 17 - Naruto & Sasuke
> 4 - Naruto & Hinata
> ...



WTF 

So is Naruto only literally....Naruto only


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 15, 2012)

Well, I'm only going off the tags. I hope nobody has actually written a fic solely for the state of a date with Rosie Palms...


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## FrayedThread (Mar 15, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Sorry to disappoint, but the latest page 1 of M-rated completed fics with only Naruto as a tagged character are listed thus:
> 
> *17 - Naruto & Sasuke*
> 4 - Naruto & Hinata
> ...





I don't know whether I should be amused or annoyed by the fact that in every fanfic I've read Orochimaru is portrayed/hinted at being a pedo  there's more to his character than that.
well if you want to stick to canon...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 15, 2012)

it's funny if done right. Other though  most make it out as his whole gimmick thing.


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## Golden Circle (Mar 15, 2012)

Dejablue said:


> Neither are good. I mean I've seen some stories where Hinata is a Jinchuriki.


Hey, I liked one of those stories! 

All doujutsu should be from the powers of a Jinchuuriki 

[sp]I haven't read Naruto stories in over two years except for SuperSaiyaman12's fanfic. Apparently I'm not missing much. Although if someone were kind enough to recommend a well-written and popularwell-reviewed one, I might give it a try.[/sp]


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## hyena611 (Mar 16, 2012)

FrayedThread said:


> I don't know whether I should be amused or annoyed by the fact that in every fanfic I've read Orochimaru is portrayed/hinted at being a pedo



And I've also read sooooooooooo many fics in which Sasuke is some crazy rapist who only cares about Naruto's ass.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 16, 2012)

I just got a review that, while polite and not filled with any harshness, obviously shone the reviewer out as a NaruHina fan:


> I found it to be a fun story, and creatively inspirational. I enjoyed the ending but it did cause one flaw that is it made the snubbing of Hinata completely worthless, and the endorsement of Kiba even more so. Could have simply added an extra chapter or two with Sakura and Ino convincing him to reconsider hesitation of Hinata. That aside, marvelous story.


I've pretty much laid it flat out in my bio that NaruHina fans should just stay away from my stuff, it won't end pretty for them.

I wouldn't say I snubbed Hinata in the story involved, I just side-shipped her like a butthurt ^ (not the meaning of the word "respect".) obviously 

Regardless, I'll take that feedback for the future.


----------



## taydev (Mar 16, 2012)

Horu said:


> I think "shounen ai" is usually used for stories where there's a proper relationship, while "yaoi" is best taken as a warning to run away screaming.



Yea, sorry. I'm very new to manga/anime (started almost 2 yrs ago) and just a month or so ago I've gotten into fanfic's so I'm still learning the terminology.  I hate slutty fanfics that seem like a cheap porn flick. Eeew 

Yea but the story was just beautiful along with all the characters interactions with each other. With the plot, the setting(s), and how the characters were portrayed made it feel as if it could have been canon. The battle scenes were written so well and vividly; it had humorous scenes; angst, suspense, and romance (which wasn't a focal point of the story). Damn I wish I could write this beautifully, and I wish I could find more fanfics with similar intellegence and creativity as BtB/OtC.


----------



## Nymph Goddess (Mar 16, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I just got a review that, while polite and not filled with any harshness, obviously shone the reviewer out as a NaruHina fan:
> 
> I've pretty much laid it flat out in my bio that NaruHina fans should just stay away from my stuff, it won't end pretty for them.
> 
> ...



 Ain't it just AWESOME when you get DIE-HARD shippers of a ship come trying to rain on your parade when you CLEARY have told them time and time AGAIN that you will not cater to their will? 

At least they said they liked the story so i guess that's a plus 

(You know I begin to wonder if some of these DIE-HARD shippers get mad or jealous cause even though there are THOUSANDS of fics for their pairing out there, they can't find anything half decent to read cause most of it is crap so when they come across a fic with a decent enough story featuring a pairing they don't like...they gotta bitch because they wish they could find good stories like these for their ship. Instead of ya know trying to write their own. LOL my brain hurt trying to figure out the thought process of shippers.)

And blah Someone might have mentioned it...but this drives me crazy as well

Why must the MAJORITY of those who write harem stories 1. Not only put in a RIDICULOUS amount of women in the story but 2. ASK THEIR READING BASE WHO TO PUT IN THE HAREM IN REVIEWS!?

And 3: Why if you're going to do a harem story with the main focus being on any other girl(s), WHY FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY do you insult my intelligence by not only having Hinata in the story....but you end up having her OVERSHADOW everyone else! 

If I wanted to read a naruhina...and harem story, I would have put 'naruto' and 'hinata' in my goddamn character search. 

That shit ain't cool man when you're reading a fic that tells you it's so-and-so pairing only for it to LIE to you and you find yourself reading a fic about a pairing you can't stand.


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 16, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> And I've also read sooooooooooo many fics in which Sasuke is some crazy rapist who only cares about Naruto's ass.



Because canon Sasuke is a sex crazed maniac...(  whyyy )
Honesty why do so many rape fics exist?..


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 16, 2012)

I'm also surprised why so many shota hentai fics exist.
The majority of fanficwriters are teenage girls, who'd've thought they think about pedophilia so much? :S


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 16, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I just got a review that, while polite and not filled with any harshness, obviously shone the reviewer out as a NaruHina fan:
> 
> I've pretty much laid it flat out in my bio that NaruHina fans should just stay away from my stuff, it won't end pretty for them.
> 
> ...





Those NaruHina fans


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 16, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> I'm also surprised why so many shota hentai fics exist.
> The majority of fanficwriters are teenage girls, who'd've thought they think about pedophilia so much? :S



Well then 

Me and Tomcat171 can find these girls and demonstrate why paedophillia is horrible


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 16, 2012)

Nymph Goddess said:


> Ain't it just AWESOME when you get DIE-HARD shippers of a ship come trying to rain on your parade when you CLEARY have told them time and time AGAIN that you will not cater to their will?
> 
> At least they said they liked the story so i guess that's a plus
> 
> ...


For a moment there I read this as sarcastic, like you were having a go at me 



> Why must the MAJORITY of those who write harem stories 1. Not only put in a RIDICULOUS amount of women in the story but 2. ASK THEIR READING BASE WHO TO PUT IN THE HAREM IN REVIEWS!?


I confess to this partially. The only harem fic of mine has two women, and then I said I'd add one more (and only one more for the sake of some _minor_ 'realism'. I mean, I see two or three women as being enough for a clan regen, not ten.). So yeah, I did make a poll asking, but I only wanted the one new person and that was it.



> That shit ain't cool man when you're reading a fic that tells you it's so-and-so pairing only for it to LIE to you and you find yourself reading a fic about a pairing you can't stand.


I made it very clear in the description which characters the story would revolve around, I'm amazed so many people miss that and say 'POOT HINA IN YOO FAGGIT'



Whirlpool said:


> Me and Tomcat171 can find these girls and demonstrate why paedophillia is horrible


Dude, don't go implying that I strive for little girls


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 16, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Dude, don't go implying that I strive for little girls



Hey, we're being heroes and all.

Taking one for the team and all that 

Besides their teens, better than nine-year olds. Here, this fic should explain.



It also has NaruSaku, NaruSamuiKarui, NaruMei and NaruTsu scenes too

Crappy plot, not that i read it for the plot though  Bit scared at the beginning though, thought it was gonna be 6-year olds. Was actually 14


----------



## Nymph Goddess (Mar 16, 2012)

@Tomcat - WHY WOULD I BE SARCASTIC TOWARDS YOU I LUV JOO!!! D>
I was talking about the person who reviewed your story after you clearly stated the ships!

Hmm well what you've done with the poll is fine considering it's only for ONE more woman and not the WHOLE DAMN CAST >_< That is what bugs me, when one already says they are putting in like TEN girls already established for the harem but now you want to add MORE and you ask your reader base!? 

This is one of the reasons I stopped reading harem stories because they usually end up with all the crap I hate in naruto fanfic multiplied by TEN!! 

Village Mob, Evil!Konoha Council, Overpowered Naruto/Self-insert, Unrealistic polygamy...just to new a few. 

I do write harem stories myself, currently working on one which ends with Naru/Ino/Karui. And one i did i'll never re-do again but that was yrs ago and while i played with the idea of a lot of girls the story was only going to end with naruto being with one girl. 

Heh I think people read that you weren't going to put hinata in the mix, but still insisted on ignoring it probably with some lost hope that you'll put Hinata in it only to get disappointed when you didn't and then have a conniption fit and have the audacity to bitch. LOL srs shippers.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 16, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I confess to this partially. The only harem fic of mine has two women, and then I said I'd add one more (and only one more for the sake of some _minor_ 'realism'. I mean, I see two or three women as being enough for a clan regen, not ten.). So yeah, I did make a poll asking, but I only wanted the one new person and that was it.



In Skyrim, the orc chieftains have at least five wives or so 


...

I think


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 16, 2012)

Gary-Stu Dark Naruto who has the sharingan (MS included).

Naruto x Hinata/Hana/Female Haku/Tayuya/Temari/Fu/Shion/Yugito/Kurostuchi/Tsunade

It's decently written fanfic, but the constant Naruto wanking kills it for me.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 16, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Naruto x Hinata/Hana/Female Haku/Tayuya/Temari/Fu/Shion/Yugito/Kurostuchi/Tsunade
> 
> It's decently written fanfic, but the constant Naruto wanking kills it for me.


No Ino? 

*Scratches off list*


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 16, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Gary-Stu Dark Naruto who has the sharingan (MS included).
> 
> Naruto x Hinata/Hana/Female Haku/Tayuya/Temari/Fu/Shion/Yugito/Kurostuchi/Tsunade
> 
> It's decently written fanfic, but the constant Naruto wanking kills it for me.



NeonZangetsu?

The master plagiuerist-er-iser or whatever?


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 16, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> NeonZangetsu?
> 
> The master plagiuerist-er-iser or whatever?


Not sure, this is the first story I've read of his/hers. Probably won't be reading anymore since most of their other stories seem to be similar to this one. Can't stand that character wanking shit in fanfiction.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 16, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> Gary-Stu Dark Naruto who has the sharingan (MS included).
> 
> Naruto x Hinata/Hana/Female Haku/Tayuya/Temari/Fu/Shion/Yugito/Kurostuchi/Tsunade
> 
> It's decently written fanfic, but the constant Naruto wanking kills it for me.



They just couldn't resist, could they?  And Lol at Namikaze.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 16, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> They just couldn't resist, could they?  And Lol at Namikaze.



 when will they learn Uzumaki reign supreme


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 16, 2012)

One really irritating thing that gets to me is either people telling you to update a story that's clearly tagged as complete, or getting notifications about people alerting your story even though it's complete. I had to put the message in goddamn all caps in the description so people got the idea...which some still haven't to this day.

I really want to punch these people.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 16, 2012)

LOOL reading comprehension seems to be lacking for most of the readers of Ff.net ,sadly.


----------



## Seven (Mar 17, 2012)

I hate it when there is no main character, and there is a female OC insert, (Or like, 17) who just happens to take Sakura's place on Team 7. (Sasuke, OC, and Naruto, And Kakashi) And then what makes this worse, is when the story is completely canon. Yes, we all know that Team 7 goes on that boring C-Rank mission, and that only Shikamaru becomes a Chunin, and that Sasuke becomes evil. Yes, we all know that, we don't want to read that all over again with an OC that changes nothing. (The only worse thing, is when that OC is the center of attention, and Sasuke AND Naruto both like her.)


----------



## SaishuSoda (Mar 17, 2012)

I don't see the challenge in this...


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 17, 2012)

Baby Joe said:


> They just couldn't resist, could they?  And Lol at Namikaze.



I really hope Naruto isn't also 12 in this fic.


----------



## Nymph Goddess (Mar 17, 2012)

Oh yea, the _'re-telling_' of part one Naruto fully intact with NO minimum changes...that has got to be the most annoying thing ever.

Then there's the re-telling of part one Naruto with no changes to canon at all ON TOP of a overpowered Naruto. 

Then there's the re-telling of part one Naruto with no changes to canon at all on top of a overpowered Naruto ON TOP of him having a massive harem...all while he's STILL TWELVE yrs old. =_=...............he hasn't even hit the height of his puberty yet and we have peeps writing him as a sex god and women damn near old enough to be his mom having the hots for him. =_=

rly people REALLY?!

God...now I feel like challenging myself to write a decent 'retelling of part one naruto fic' ....except....it'll have fucking CHANGES that do not include the cliche crap that has been done over and over again. 

Mmm well maybe i'll write it sometime in the future...>_>


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 17, 2012)

i hate it when naruto is written as a smart ass punk know it all. you know where he knows of tsunade's youth jutsu, the rasengan, the freaking reaper summon. for pete sake i got sick to my stomach reading 


> as the trio passed by the hallway "wrong door" naruto shouted.


pretentious "mr. I'm-so-cool" attitudes disgust me.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 18, 2012)

Yeah, I like to show that he's smart but not arrogant. He uses the information to help his friends who don't know as much, not to show off as that's OOC. But for some jutsu I do think he'd show it off cause it's cool and powerful.


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## hyena611 (Mar 18, 2012)

Naruto is smart in his own unique way. But I hate it when fanficers exaggerate and make him a supersmart guru.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 18, 2012)

Yeah, I just love when he comes back from timeskip with FRS, Sage Mode and all that shit. Makes it so much more interesting am I right?


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 18, 2012)

I also hate smart-ass kid!Naruto as an Anbu member. Preferably known as "Oturan" or "Kitsune", with a fox mask.


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## The Jeffrey (Mar 18, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> I also hate smart-ass kid!Naruto as an Anbu member. Preferably known as "Oturan" or "Kitsune", with a fox mask.



Oturan? I've never heard of that before but then again I haven't read anything in months. 

Also why is it that when Naruto is smart, Sasuke turns retarded? The guy is smart so I don't see why they make him a complete idiot.


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## hyena611 (Mar 18, 2012)

Oturan is the mirror spelling of Naruto. soooo unsuspicious :ho
Why do so many fanficers not get the meaning of a code name?  It's supposed to hide someone's true identity, not suggest it for Ninja's sake!


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 18, 2012)

so many female kyuubi's my roommate is begging for a male kyuubi story.


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 18, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Oturan is the mirror spelling of Naruto. soooo unsuspicious :ho
> Why do so many fanficers not get the meaning of a code name?  It's supposed to hide someone's true identity, not suggest it for Ninja's sake!



THIS.

In these ANBU Naruto fics, it's as if they are thinking "How can we make it obvious to -everyone- that this is Naruto, even though he is unfortunately wearing a mask... Mmm, I know, let's call him Fox. And give him a Fox mask with orange whiskers. What next, maybe put a neon sign saying -this is Naruto-"?

But the point is to _conceal their identity, damnit!_


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## TekJounin (Mar 18, 2012)

Naruto in ANBU, anyway.  They are hand-picked by the Hokage for specific skills and stealth.  Naruto has a heart as big as the sky, isn't especially unobtrusive and is pretty much a showboat act.  

He's loud and thoughtful and not much for holding back.  Not good ANBU material.  Hokage, maybe, but not ANBU.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 18, 2012)

Nymph Goddess said:


> Then there's the re-telling of part one Naruto with no changes to canon at all on top of a overpowered Naruto ON TOP of him having a massive harem...all while he's STILL TWELVE yrs old. =_=...............he hasn't even hit the height of his



Another pet peeve: pedophilia.  I hate the ones where little preteens or children are paired with much older adults.


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## hyena611 (Mar 18, 2012)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> Another pet peeve: pedophilia.  I hate the ones where little preteens or children are paired with much older adults.



eeeew, yeah. 


*Spoiler*: __ 





> Then Kakashi looks down at his own lap, and frowns. He sighs, sounding bothered, and says, "Congratulations."
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "You've just made a guy wish his cock was smaller. That's a first in the history of...hmm. Possibly ever."


 (from


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 18, 2012)

Damn, Hyena, don't remind me of that one. I've had the misfortune of reading it.
Hard Yaoi at age 10?

YOU SICK, SICK BASTARDS. *washes brain*


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 18, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> eeeew, yeah.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...



Hard yaoi at age ten?!  Oh major ewww. I couldn't bring myself to even try and read that. I have three considerably younger siblings so that squicks the hell out of me.


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## TekJounin (Mar 18, 2012)

I've come across two different fics where Itachi and Kakashi run across toddler Sakura and decide there and then that they will marry her when she's grown up.  Who looks at a toddler and decides that's the person they want to have a relationship with?


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 18, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I've come across two different fics where Itachi and Kakashi run across toddler Sakura and decide there and then that they will marry her when she's grown up.  Who *looks at a toddler and decides that's the person they want to have a relationship with*?



Jacob from the Twilight Series.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 18, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Who looks at a toddler and decides that's the person they want to have a relationship with?


People who can't write for shit, obviously 

Okay, I have a question.

In one of my fics, Naruto has the chance to rebuild a clan by the higher-ups, but one of their conditions is that he has to change his surname to Namikaze.

My original plan was to let him go along with it, but I've grown a brain since then. Minato was only one man, after all, and the Uzumaki were a full clan. Would you consider it more logically sound that I have Naruto argue a case for his original surname and make that final?

I put a poll up on my FF profile, so far Uzumaki is winning.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 18, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I've come across two different fics where Itachi and Kakashi run across toddler Sakura and decide there and then that they will marry her when she's grown up.  Who looks at a toddler and decides that's the person they want to have a relationship with?


I've had the misfortune to see a fic like that before. Even putting aside the "wtf?!" factor for a moment, those fics tend to have them interact with her while she is a child...has the author never heard of child grooming? Doubly disturbing.





AngstToThePeople said:


> Jacob from the Twilight Series.


This is one of a long list of reasons why I have nothing to do with that series. Pedowolves. *shudder*


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 18, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> This is one of a long list of reasons why I have nothing to do with that series. Pedowolves. *shudder*


I know next to nothing about Twilight, but I'm sure that half of it is written like this:

Some person: "Hi."

That werewolf guy: *takes shirt off*

From what little I've seen in TV spots and such, that werewolf guy has no other purpose in life than to take his shirt off, it's ridiculous.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 18, 2012)

Vampires Suck did a spoof of Twilight where he does just that. Funny as hell it was. to me since i loathe the series in its entirety. Worse Christmas present ever. 

Anyway, I was thinking of going that 'interact in child=hood route' but with Kakashi and an FeOC/SI *shrug can't decide*. But it's not romantic; more familial since I want the Oc to teach him about friendship and the importance of people and shit somehow...and then the Oc goes away, leaving Kakashi alone. Then the canon stuff happens, but changes due to Kakashi's interactions with the OC. Like he'd still be a douche around Obito and all, but would hesitantly agree to go after Rin after giving it some thought--not before Obito dashed off alone. And then it would lead into current gen with some more slight changes, again cause of the values that the OC rubs off on Kakashi.

I highly doubt I'd ever write this, but I've played with it in my head and it sounds good so far. And there'd be a sbuplot of a jealous Orochimaru wanting to find out the tech behind Minato's hirashin and s/t jutsu...with the possibility of time travel. Initially i was thinking this was how to send the Oc away; they get caught in the crossfire and time/dimension warped, but that's sooo cliche it makes me   IDk.

I'll just keep working at it in my head for now; let it simmer and sit there for a while.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 18, 2012)

good god one naruxfemkyuu shit story after another  cant you just make kyuubi in character just for the sake of combo breaking?


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## Nymph Goddess (Mar 18, 2012)

@Hyena - WHY MOTHER OF GOD WRYYYYYY!! I clicked than saw '10 yr old' and I exit the hell out of there. I am not that curious to want to find out....just WHY  

@Tom- I say stick with Uzumaki


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## Golden Circle (Mar 18, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> so many female kyuubi's my roommate is begging for a male kyuubi story.


Change the filter to Kyuubi + your favorite female character.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 18, 2012)

Nymph Goddess said:


> @Tom- I say stick with Uzumaki


TBH I agree. I don't like going back on what I say I'll do with my stuff, but this just seemed like a logical screw up on my part, I must have been momentarily delusional or something.


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## Nymph Goddess (Mar 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> TBH I agree. I don't like going back on what I say I'll do with my stuff, but this just seemed like a logical screw up on my part, I must have been momentarily delusional or something.



Hmm I'm kind of curious is this for a new upcoming fic you are working on? Or for one already started? 

Another thing that used to annoy me a lot but doesn't anymore is when people say something or assume something and having to explain the same thing to people countless times. When I already stated things in my profile...

Until I realized that most people probably do not READ people's profiles. And might do so until AFTER reading one of their fics. For the longest time I had people swear up and down that I was a guy and god's gift to men everywhere because of my one crappy harem fic I wrote yrs ago. That I somehow became the mouthpiece of every 'Mr. Nice Guy' out there  

I shit you not. 

I told people so many times again and again that I'm a woman...even stated my gender for YRS on my profile. But after I realized that maybe I'm one of the few who do take the time to read another's profile, I gave up on correcting people and recently took my gender off. I would think from the way I wrote my Author's Notes people would have a clue. 

I guessed wrong. 

though I can agree with not bothering to read the profile if all you come across are those annoying 'chain-mail questionaire' things. That take so long to bypass until you finally get to the person's fics.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 19, 2012)

Nymph Goddess said:


> Hmm I'm kind of curious is this for a new upcoming fic you are working on? Or for one already started?


The fic that brought up the dilemma is complete. But the fic where it'll be implemented is in its sequel...which I've yet to start.


> though I can agree with not bothering to read the profile if all you come across are those annoying 'chain-mail questionaire' things. That take so long to bypass until you finally get to the person's fics.


This. If I'm looking an a bio, I just want to see what other stuff they may have written. I don't care about your personal life in the slightest.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 19, 2012)

That or the retards who do that copypaste shit? Why do we need to see that? Really? 

You know what I'm talking about--

I MUST be X since I'm Y

That weird ass bunny thing 

etc etc.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 19, 2012)

anyone besides me see hinata fics as predictable? they'll give her a goal of wanting to be hyuga hier again and then be naruto's gf and give her more backbone, its all the same.


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## hyena611 (Mar 19, 2012)

I don't read Hinata fics. I've read one once and didn't like it.


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## Whirlpool (Mar 19, 2012)

99.9% Hinata fics are all the same


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## Nymph Goddess (Mar 19, 2012)

The only Hinata fic I ever read which I thought was done pretty good is where The Raikage had managed to successfully kidnapping Hinata, took her in as his 'blind adopted niece' and Hizashi managed to stay alive, though crippled but finding a new way to live from under the oppressive rules of the Hyuuga household. 

I don't know if it'll turn into a NaruHina fic later on or if the person ever updated its been awhile. But since it was Hinata-centric I gave it a chance.

And as far as pairings

I have only found and read like TWO good SasuHina fics recently because I tend to like pairings basely close to 'hades/persephone'


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## taydev (Mar 19, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> eeeew, yeah.
> 
> 
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...



OMG! Who the hell are these people?! What's wrong with them?! Wut. tha. fuck?!


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 19, 2012)

Which, in your opinion, is a bigger sin: changing the tense mid-fic, or changing the person?

I ask because I'm planning to do the former later in one fic due to a set of flashbacks. It's in present tense right now, but the flashbacks would have to be in past tense, obviously.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 19, 2012)

That wouldn't' bother me as it's clearly explained. if its not then...

LOL just realized I've been donig this with my own fic, first it started in past but is now present. One of the things i have to fix later.


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## Nymph Goddess (Mar 19, 2012)

@Tom- it all depends on how it is done. I know some people who can pull that off really well when done in a chapter, especially depending on the story itself. Then there's the thing I did...in one fic where I kept changing the tenses between past and present on top of one being 1st Person Narrative and 3rd person Narrative. 

While still readable...it can get rather distracting and confusing. I was trying to stick with a story that told the history of everything that happened up to the present, while present events were still going on. But to remedy the problem I noticed I made, it'll be better to put all Past history in chapters by themselves to separate from Present Events.

If that made any sense.


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## SaishuSoda (Mar 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Which, in your opinion, is a bigger sin: changing the tense mid-fic, or changing the person?


By changing the person, do you mean just completely changing their personality, and interaction with other characters etc? If that's the case, then that is by far the bigger sin between the two. I don't mind the character developing/changing, but I prefer it be gradual instead of just happening out of nowhere. There's been tons of fics that I've read where the protagonist comes back after a timeskip, and their entire character does a 180 from what they were before. It would have to be clearly explained at some point why they went throught s/he changes they did. 

However, it's a lot easier (and more enjoyable) if the character is shown certain way, but shown through flashbacks why/how/when they became that way. I enjoy flashbacks because they give the character more depth and if done right, can make the reader like them even more than before. I don't particularly see it as a bad thing, so long as the author uses them to add impact to the story instead of randomingly forcing them where they don't belong.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 19, 2012)

I think he meant narrative. 

Like narrating from another's char perspective, or something...


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 19, 2012)

SaishuSoda said:


> *Misunderstood*


I meant first/third person perspective.

'I' compared to 'they'. You know?


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## SaishuSoda (Mar 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I meant first/third person perspective.
> 
> 'I' compared to 'they'. You know?


Ah, my mistake.


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## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Which, in your opinion, is a bigger sin: changing the tense mid-fic, or changing the person?
> 
> I ask because I'm planning to do the former later in one fic due to a set of flashbacks. It;s in present tense right now, but the flashbacks would have to be in past tense, obviously.



The latter, the fun thing about first person perspective is that we only get to know the story from one side, not more. Sure, one part is fine if it's really necessary, but doing it every chapter will get annoying.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 19, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> People who can't write for shit, obviously
> 
> Okay, I have a question.
> 
> ...




Keep the Uzumaki, my friend.  This is the path that is the least traveled.  

As for writing about deciding that a toddler is who someone wants to eventually marry, I would say a very immature person who takes too much inspiration from Twilight or Sleeping Beauty.


On harems:  This is random, but although I'm not a huge fan of them, it would be interesting to see one that revolves around a character that's bi.  If you're gonna have this guy/girl get into relationships with everyone in the story, why not add all the people of the same gender as well?  

As for Hinata, it all depends on how you view her character.  I happen to like her, but the fic that I'm currently working on is told from the perspective of someone who tried to kill her.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 19, 2012)

i think i might know where all the super demon naruto fics are inspired from. yu yu hakusho.
story spoilers

*Spoiler*: __ 



yusuke's a descendent of a demon and his battle with an overhyped villain is so anti climactic, dbz level of boring and one sided that it wasn't funny. they zip around so fast and throw punches that it doesn't matter and when yusuke turns super the viewer can see where its going a mile away.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 19, 2012)

Nah, it's clearly DBZ, YYH or Inuyasha. They were popular back in the day, at least when most of this gen was growing up. They were on a lot, though YYH was a late timeslot...


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 19, 2012)

i understand clearly. but YYH had more demons going on about it than ki/energy. never cared about inuyasha.

but really the smart ass remarks from yusuke remind me a whole lot of how naruto's portrayed as in many badly written super/evil/powerful naru fics.


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## CandleGuy (Mar 20, 2012)

Does anyone know if FF.net has been acting up since yesterday?


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 20, 2012)

i remember having some small problems but nothing too unusal. What do you mean?


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## CandleGuy (Mar 20, 2012)

I updated a story yesterday and the story update alert never came

And it says I have zero hits since yesterday on all stats though I've gotten 2 reviews.

Something is wrong. Someone even fav'd but I didn't get the fav alert


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## CandleGuy (Mar 20, 2012)

Is everyone getting alerts? 

I think I might just pull the chapter and re-upload it


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 20, 2012)

i never get alerts even though i have them set. never bother me though; i just check regularly.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 20, 2012)

The alert system was working fine for me. Must just be you.  Mysterious...


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm not getting an alert problem. In fact I just checked my emails and got five emails of stories being favourited.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 20, 2012)

I've had this problem for years though; or maybe i totally forgot put alerts on and thought i did like a tard. wouldn't surprise me in the least.


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## Golden Circle (Mar 20, 2012)

If you don't get alerts, then your email is not configured. Or your mail server thinks it is spam.

I get update alerts all the time.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 21, 2012)

However, I have had problems in the past where my traffic graphs show no views at all for a few days. That's usually a fault on the server side of things.


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## Golden Circle (Mar 21, 2012)

you can email support@fanfiction.net or xing@fanfiction.net if you have site issues.


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## Kezone (Mar 21, 2012)

I've been suspecting that the alert thing is happening to me. I have hundreds of stories on alert but I haven't got more then one or two alerts in the past few months. Strange...


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## Kezone (Mar 21, 2012)

For me when I was growing up I watched InuYasha and Hikaru no Go. I only read Dragon Ball about a year ago, and Yu Yu Hakusho... um... two days ago 

Probably 'caus I'm about 1/2 a generation younger then most of the users here (In my mid teens) and I never watched TV as a kid, just found DVDs. 

First few on FanFicnet. I took out all of the ones which weren't in English, for obvious reasons. 

1. Accidents ? by Uwaah reviews
Mito is a shy dead-last with a really low self-esteem. Hinata is a boy with a crush on said dead-last. What will happen when Hinata and Mito are paired up on team 7 with Sasuke, who is always trying to steal away Hinatas crush? NaruHina GB MaleHinaFemNaru
Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,588 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 2-29-12 - Hinata H. & Naruko U.

2. Unconditional by XxXLexxibabeXxX
Kyuubi's out look on Naruto's life and mistreatment in the village.
Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,820 - Published: 3-21-12 - Kurama/Kyuubi & Naruto U.

3. As Cr?nicas Ocultas de Konoha ? by KnightHiryuu reviews
Ap?s a derrota de Uchiha Madara, as coisas meio que voltam ao normal em Konoha. Mas as miss?es continuam, e muito pode acontecer!
Rated: K+ - Portuguese - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 32,255 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 5-2-11 - Naruto U. & Hinata H.

4. Sacrificio de amor ? by Nahare uchiha reviews
Ella habia dejado de llorar, todo estaba en paz en Konoha.Hasta que ellos llegaron, y facilmente acabaron con todo. ": Conf?rmate con saber, que si no vienes con nosotros, destruiremos tu aldea, y a todos tus amigos" Sasuke..., donde estas?
Rated: K+ - Spanish - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,270 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 3-8-12 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.

5. My Beautiful Frozen Stranger ? by Lovinbee92 reviews
'The first moment I laid eyes on you, I know that you were meant to be mine, My Beautiful Frozen Stranger' adoted from XXOXLOVELESSXOXX my shygirl1616 account got deleted so I created another one. Lovinbee92 YAOI SASUKE/NARUTO
Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,684 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 3-2-12 - Sasuke U. & Naruto U.

6. Secrets over Secrets ? by XxSoulNoteWritterxX
A new Naruto OC story. New squad, and characters. Love connection exists, each have a dark secret.
Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,084 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 3-1-12

7. The Artist Diaries Missing Scenes by RyuushiXDei
aSome Missing Scenes From The Story The Artist Diaries Hope You like it, Warning Contains Drugs and Explicit Language
Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 509 - Published: 3-21-12 - Deidara

8. Akatsuki Orphan ? by Itachiz Waz Takenz reviews
Based on Jerica Lilith's popular comic on devianART. For some reason the Akatsuki adopted an Orphan! Don't ask me why... Let's see how the Orphan will see the Akatsuki as family! Please R&R! It will mean a lot to me and the original artist/author!
Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,299 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 12-31-11 - Akatsuki

9. Lost in Stereo by Akemi-Hime19
Sasuke took a deep breath, strapped on his guitar and stood up on the curtain-covered stage. He had a thumbs up from a man in a suit, his manager, in the backstage and some couple of band handshakes from his band-mates. SasuIno... Please Read&Review!
Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,921 - Published: 3-21-12 - Sasuke U. & Ino Y. - Complete


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## hyena611 (Mar 21, 2012)

Did I mention that I also *hate* i*c*st-fics? 

It's soooooo wrooong


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 21, 2012)

same here but given the time period i do wonder if it is common. i  doubt it though since kishi has shown no inklings of this.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 21, 2012)

^ I'm not so sure of that. The Uchiha clan all seemed to be married to other Uchihas...and there was only so many of them around...


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## Whirlpool (Mar 21, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Did I mention that I also *hate* i*c*st-fics?
> 
> It's soooooo wrooong



Bu-But NaruKushi and NaruKarin 

Uh oh, spoiler alert :ho


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 21, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> same here but given the time period i do wonder if it is common. i  doubt it though since kishi has shown no inklings of this.



Between siblings or parents/kids I find it tasteless, but with cousins and such... Well my father is from Creta, and even in modern days marriage between cousins is not entirely uncommon.

In many Asian countries it was very common at the time; it was even considered a "good thing" for the bloodline.


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## hyena611 (Mar 21, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Between siblings or parents/kids I find it tasteless



^this

I don't know, I could never imagine fucking my sister or my mom


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## Whirlpool (Mar 21, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> ^this
> 
> I don't know, I could never imagine fucking my sister or my mom



Then don't.

Just imagine Naruto doing so 

Problem fixed eh?


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## hyena611 (Mar 21, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Then don't.
> 
> Just imagine Naruto doing so
> 
> Problem fixed eh?



Well yeah, but when I come across incestfics, I always ask myself if the authors of these fics have some hidden desires and express them in their writing.

I mean, what triggers their imagination?


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## The Jeffrey (Mar 21, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Well yeah, but when I come across incestfics, I always ask myself if the authors of these fics have some hidden desires and express them in their writing.
> 
> I mean, what triggers their imagination?



To quote someone (though not accurately), "Brother-sister fantasies are something those without siblings lust after."


*Spoiler*: __ 



Even though the same guy got into a toothbrush incident with his sister later on.


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## hyena611 (Mar 21, 2012)

well that makes a little sense. But what about those who do have siblings? 

A bunch of pervs, huh? 
Don't get me wrong, people should write whatever they want, I just hate comming across i*c*st fics when they are not indicated as such. Bad surprise


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 22, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Don't get me wrong, people should write whatever they want, *I just hate comming across i*c*st fics when they are not indicated as such*. Bad surprise



They should always be warned for. It's annoying when people don't include trigger warnings on things. I'm lucky enough not to be triggered by anything, but fics with surprise i*c*st have the potential to be very traumatizing for some, and I don't mean in a mostly harmless "eww brain-breakage" way. Also warning for non-con in the summary by going "RAPE!" in glaring big letters is highly insensitive. I feel hypocritical now.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 22, 2012)

I NEED first person sentences, as many as you can. GOGOGOOO!!!  

Seriously, this writer's block is a bitch though; and Kakashi himself is hard to write, I mean,  just when I had an idea! WHY!?

NVM, I GOT IT~~~ YYyeeeeeessssssssss~


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 23, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> I NEED first person sentences, as many as you can. GOGOGOOO!!!


"I AM CURRENTLY TALKING IN THE FIRST PERSON." I shouted in the middle of a crowded street. Everybody nearby looked at me with a bungled mixture of disgust and curiosity, since when have I, the great Hatake Kakashi, had outbursts like that?

How's that?


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 23, 2012)

LOL. funny  Writer's block is mostly gone, though I think I'll need a beta for this to be safe.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 23, 2012)

Another thing that I'd like to point out is the lack of creativity amongst the lemon stories.  It's like come on, we got all these jutsus at our disposal and the majority of the authors don't touch them?  I'd like to see more of what's happening in these fanarts in fanfiction, minus the pedo ones.

As for i*c*st and Asian countries, that really depends on the country.  It's really frowned upon in China right now.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 23, 2012)

Well China is China.  I've seen Naruto porn...it's just 

Poor children, why must they be violated like that? I mean the fuck!?


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 23, 2012)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> Another thing that I'd like to point out is the lack of creativity amongst the lemon stories.  It's like come on, we got all these jutsus at our disposal and the majority of the authors don't touch them?  I'd like to see more of what's happening in these fanarts in fanfiction, minus the pedo ones.


I prefer the vanilla approach. I can't be bothered to add chakra shit in there for many reasons. I mean, it's not like Naruto's meant to suddenly Rasengan someone he's testing mattresses with, right?


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## hyena611 (Mar 23, 2012)

rasengan his ass


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## AngstToThePeople (Mar 23, 2012)

Well, two Kage Bunshin users can sure do creative things.

You can... adult warning: 
*Spoiler*: __ 



 Watch your own self being gang-banged by your lover, for example.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 23, 2012)

i dont think that needed a warning. Wasn't that bad. If you went into details though :ho Only read a few lemons and they were  Shit was boring not sexy at all.


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## TekJounin (Mar 23, 2012)

Even though kage bunshin are more durable than regular bunshins, I don't think they'd hold up to vigorous activities.  No matter how much fun that might sound.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 23, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> i dont think that needed a warning. Wasn't that bad. *If you went into details though* :ho Only read a few lemons and they were  Shit was boring not sexy at all.



Is that a dare?



[But yes, I'm aware they wouldn't normally be durable enough... I'd have to invent cunning new Jutsu tech to pull off that kind of lemon in a believable manner... ]


----------



## Ishi no Ishi (Mar 23, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Well, two Kage Bunshin users can sure do creative things.
> 
> You can... adult warning:
> *Spoiler*: __
> ...



Interesting...


----------



## CandleGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

> Write a story labeled adventure and romance

> Endgame pairing is established from the get-go but romance will be slow build because you to create a credible relationship. 

> Have central engaging (in your opinion) plotline separate from the romance

> Every chapter some reviewers insisting on more pairing moments 

*Kanye shrug*


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 24, 2012)

So I just started reading a fic out of curiosity of its poor quality potential (shitty description, you see), and I wasn't surprised.

Naruto's in Konoha, reads some letters from his parents, and to quote a little section from both letters:


> Dear Naruto,
> 
> Hey son your probably wondering why I never let you know about the Kyuubi or who I am which must make you very angry. As you know I am Minato the Fourth Hokage.


"I am Minato"? What the shit? That's so bad 



> Dear Naruto,
> 
> Yea its me Kushina your mom. I only have a little time to write this since they say I am dying from blood loss.


Blood loss can't be that severe if you've got time to write a fucking letter :rofl

Anyway, Naruto decides to leave Konoha for some reason that I couldn't be bothered to look for, since I was dying of eye pain at having to read it. But four paragraphs later, he's arrived outside Kiri 

I shit you not, within one chapter he knows his parents, leaves Konoha, gets to Kiri and then joins their shinobi force...

Oh, and according to a review, Naruto somehow gets the Rinnegan later on 

Anybody want to try and stomach what I could not?


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 24, 2012)

What devilry is this!  

I do not have the courage, Tomcat.
May a man braver than I wander into this harsh, wild territory...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 24, 2012)

CandleGuy said:


> > Write a story labeled adventure and romance
> 
> > Endgame pairing is established from the get-go but romance will be slow build because you to create a credible relationship.
> 
> ...



this is what I'm scared of for my new fic. Gonna be KakashiOC  and hints of OCxOC but I've never really done this shit before.

tom the dude profi;e is all that copypaste shit.  He's not worth it.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 24, 2012)

So I decided to check out a fic with an almost-decent description that was linked by a community I have on alert.

Lo and behold, contrary to the description, the grammar is crap, Naruto's a GS and pulls the 'idiot mask' thing, and even before his genin team allocation it turns out Kurenai is his wife. 

I wish people would use some common logic. I may be prepping myself to write a NaruMei story, but I'm not turning her into a goddamn cradle-robber.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 24, 2012)

Okay, creepy as fuck. Really creepy. Why the hell would she abandon Asuma nyway?


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> So I decided to check out a fic with an almost-decent description that was linked by a community I have on alert.
> 
> Lo and behold, contrary to the description, the grammar is crap, Naruto's a GS and pulls the 'idiot mask' thing, and even before his genin team allocation it turns out Kurenai is his wife.
> 
> I wish people would use some common logic. I may be prepping myself to write a NaruMei story, but I'm not turning her into a goddamn cradle-robber.



Scrawny 12-year-old Naruto is married to a Jounin?  I just don't.......


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 24, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Okay, creepy as fuck. Really creepy. Why the hell would she abandon Asuma nyway?


Apparently, in said fic, they were never together, but Asuma tried to ask Kurenai out in the first chapter...which was the only chapter I read.



TekJounin said:


> Scrawny 12-year-old Naruto is married to a Jounin?  I just don't.......


Oh, it's better than that, when the senseis come to pick up their teams, Naruto sees her and is like _'What? She never told me she was a jounin sensei!'_



UPDATE:

OH MY GOD! I am in stitches right now. Remember Raptorcloak? Well, they released a new lemon recently and even though he didn't specifically call me out, he briefly mentioned my review on his NaruIno lemon.

AND NOW HE'S BLOCKED ME!  :rofl

I was going to review this new one to say he'd fixed some stuff and to explain why I said what I did last time, but I can't review it when I'm logged in, nor can I PM him.

What he hasn't anticipated, however, is that I can still post an anonymous review in my name 

A piece of my mind he is so going to get.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Apparently, in said fic, they were never together, but Asuma tried to ask Kurenai out in the first chapter...which was the only chapter I read.
> 
> 
> Oh, it's better than that, when the senseis come to pick up their teams, Naruto sees her and is like _'What? She never told me she was a jounin sensei!'_
> ...



I can't stand fanfic writers who completely ignore advice. Its a tad arrogant.




Tomcat171 said:


> So I decided to check out a fic with an almost-decent description that was linked by a community I have on alert.
> 
> Lo and behold, contrary to the description, the grammar is crap, Naruto's a GS and pulls the 'idiot mask' thing, and even before his genin team allocation it turns out Kurenai is his wife.
> 
> I wish people would use some common logic. I may be prepping myself to write a NaruMei story, but I'm not turning her into a goddamn cradle-robber.



Your writing a NaruMei fic :33


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 24, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I can't stand fanfic writers who completely ignore advice. Its a tad arrogant.


It's a good thing I created an alt account. I've written a nice and lengthy piece of my mind in a form that he can't delete. 



> Your writing a NaruMei fic :33


Yep. And it won't involve Naruto running away from Konoha, betrothal contracts, or Mei travelling to Konoha during the chunin exams and teaching him. It'll take place some years after the war. However, and I'm sorry to commit a sin, but I decided to take Mei's age down by just a few years, but only four or so.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> It's a good thing I created an alt account. I've written a nice and lengthy piece of my mind in a form that he can't delete.
> 
> 
> Yep. And it won't involve Naruto running away from Konoha, betrothal contracts, or Mei travelling to Konoha during the chunin exams and teaching him. It'll take place some years after the war. *However, and I'm sorry to commit a sin, but I decided to take Mei's age down by just a few years, but only four or so*.



That's not really a problem. We don't even know her true age anyways. All we know is that she's in her early-mid 30s. You could probably make her at least 30 in this fic.

30 is a thriving age  Totally unappreciated 

Coming from a 21-year old


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 24, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> That's not really a problem. We don't even know her true age anyways. All we know is that she's in her early-mid 30s. You could probably make her at least 30 in this fic.
> 
> 30 is a thriving age  Totally unappreciated
> 
> Coming from a 21-year old


Well, I suppose it'll look a little more iffy when I explain Naruto's age.

I'm setting it about six years after the war, where Naruto will be 22, and I believe I've put Mei between 32 and 34 (not 33, just in that general bracket somewhere ). So it means I've taken her out of her 30s during the war.

UPDATE:

Well, after I posted that 'nice' review on Raptor's fic from my alt account, I got a PM from him on my main account.

Here's what it said:



> You're good.


The subject line simply said 'Free'.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Well, I suppose it'll look a little more iffy when I explain Naruto's age.
> 
> I'm setting it about six years after the war, where Naruto will be 22, and I believe I've put Mei between 32 and 34 (not 33, just in that general bracket somewhere ). So it means I've taken her out of her 30s during the war.
> 
> ...



Dat raptorcloak, nothing gets past him


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 24, 2012)

Fuck wish I could rep you but 24's. Shit is hilarious. Wait is he mocking you?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 24, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> Dat raptorcloak, nothing gets past him


Oh no, I told him it was me when I reviewed. I guess it was just to let him know that I know what he's up to 


Itachifan727 said:


> Fuck wish I could rep you but 24's. Shit is hilarious. Wait is he mocking you?


Could be, but the funny thing is that a few minutes after that PM, he reviewed my 'Just Reward' fic saying, and I quote again:


> Now, that's what I called detailed.


I suppose it could all be his method of mockery, but whether he's being nice/serious or not...I couldn't give any less of a shit.


----------



## Vermin (Mar 24, 2012)

He's just mad because he wishes his fics were like yours. 

Dat NaruMei.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 24, 2012)

it's sad though all the pointless lemons get billions of rev while the good fics get none.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 24, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Oh no, I told him it was me when I reviewed. I guess it was just to let him know that I know what he's up to



Ahh, so he's still a retard


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 24, 2012)

OH Christ now ppl are doing NarutoXAsura's Wrath crossovers. Already saw like 3 of them in just in.

My author's note for my new fic. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



A/N: Let's see how much better I've gotten. Hope this turns out better than the first one. It's all told from Kakashi's POV, by the way. Based on an old flop of mine; and no, I'm not putting that up, it's so ludicrous and I wish I never wrote the damn thing. ( I was like..thirteen at the time so, lol, can't really be blamed can I? Oh wait no, I can, derp.) Just don't ask me for it or any links to it/the files, if you know what the hell I'm talking about anyways. This could flop too, but hey I'm writing this more for fun(fanserivce for me, teh womenz(and ga(u)yz who know Kakashi is awesome) too) really. It will be serious, but I won't update as much due to HGN taking priority. If you have any ideas, feel free to put them in reviews, but do so tactfully. I DON'T want to hear bitching about pairings, flames are fine though; I'm really just talking about the people who whine when the fic doesn't take the turn the way they wanted. That or the lazy assholes who post like 500 word chapters; and call that a fanfic, filled with spelling/grammar errors OCs, MS's, and the people who steal chars personalities from other series and attach it to the Naruto character's and call that "originality" what have you. Try writing your own shit, seeing as most of you don't have ANYTHING in your profiles under 'Written' and then come bitch to me about my fic. Not so easy to write well, isn't it? The keyword there is well, not the tripe high school akatsuki rape/ beaten Naruto by villager mob fics that have been done to death and back four times over. But still, I would appreciate it if you do take my warnings to heart with at least a grain of salt. And don't worry, no other author's note of mine will be this big ever again XD. Here's the fic, and an extra long prologue as thanks, enjoy!


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 25, 2012)

Zoroark said:


> He's just mad because he wishes his fics were like yours.


Mine are certainly more detailed, I know that much. But I will never say I'm better than another writer unless their lack of skill is obvious.



> Dat NaruMei.


And OMG yes. Most of the fics written for it are really bad.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

most lemon fics are. and don't get me started on yaoi. M-preg


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 25, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> most lemon fics are. and don't get me started on yaoi. M-preg


You don't like Yaoi?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

nah, it doesn't do anything for me. If the two hot guys are not paying me any attention,  I don't care about ppl who like it but some of them are pushy about it. Like SasuNaru... They go apeshit on DA when you pair Naruto or Sasuke up with another person or girl.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 25, 2012)

SasuNaru is a paring I personally don't like that much, probably b/c I've read too many SasuNaru fanfics  in which Sasuke is either an evil rapist or dumps Naruto and just used him for the sex xD


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

I've seen porn of that  fucking god, too scary. Poor Naru...:sad


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 25, 2012)

But KakaNaru yaoi can be very...interesting 

Of course non shota, I hate that stuff.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 25, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> most lemon fics are.


But some of those NaruMeis I'm referring to don't have much citrus or are devoid of a lemon, they're still bad regardless.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 25, 2012)

imo, lemons can either be extremely good or just bad. I've never come across an in between thing.
Unfortunately, there are far too many bad lemons which just burn my (virgin) eyes


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 25, 2012)

"Then he put his thingy in my you-know-what and we did it."

You mean like that?  

That's right, back to My Immortal


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 25, 2012)

Exactly. Or lemons with no forplay or afterglow. And just stupid, cheesy, clich? stuff- virgin tight holes, beautiful sparkly blue eyes and all that. c'mon, fanficers


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> "Then he put his thingy in my you-know-what and we did it."
> 
> You mean like that?
> 
> That's right, back to My Immortal



Yes that. LOLOLOL though that's probably as far I'd go in a lemon fic


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 25, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Exactly. Or lemons with no forplay or afterglow. And just stupid, cheesy, clich? stuff- virgin tight holes, beautiful sparkly blue eyes and all that. c'mon, fanficers



You forgot the men who are hung like porn stars.  And are engaging in intercourse with virgins.  The authors probably think it's hot as hell but I swear my you-know-what cramps in sympathy.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

I was gonna say  something THAT big to go into a hole THAT small.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 25, 2012)

The most easy way to tell a lemon writer is male and barely grasps the concept of sex (or is just a virgin themselves):

They put the hymen halfway up the vaginal canal. 

It's not, it's at the opening.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

this is stimulating. :ho 

Still though isn't too...mature? IDK. I gotta find that TVtropes page....


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 25, 2012)

Yay, TV Tropes, I love this page xD


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

It'sd funny oh and this.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 25, 2012)

Ugh cliche lemons. This is why I only write lemony slices, because I don't believe I could pull off a good full-length lemon.

On the topic of things wrong with fanfic sex scenes-- things that should _never_ be used as lubricant. Chunky peanut butter anyone?  (and that's far from the worst.)


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 25, 2012)

Back to TVTropes on that 

It said things like honey, blood and...providing my eyes weren't broken...molten iron have been used.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 25, 2012)

Blood lube sounds fun.

But I usually use battery acid or hot sauce


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 25, 2012)

Pff, magma's where it's at 

And it looks like the number of total Naruto fics on FF is going to break 300,000 soon.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

Nah, nuclear waste.  yeah that'll get your penor all nice and slippery.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 25, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Nah, nuclear waste.  yeah that'll get your penor all nice and slippery.



Tch....

The devils piss is the good stuff


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

this thread....:rofl oil would work good, wait...no glue. i swear on that page there was someone who used glue in their fic for a lube.

reading this guys MTs of Stulball even though i have no fucking clue who the ppl are but its so fucking funny.


----------



## Chiere (Mar 25, 2012)

I mostly hate the cliche "Sasuke comes back on his own" story lines or when characters who don't typically have fangirls in the manga, suddenly have a whole group of them. I also hate how in SasuSaku stories, they give the kids pink hair and/or green eyes, it's not genetically possibly I don't think so anyways and that really gets on my nerves.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

I still say he should be a ronin. 

What's afterglow?



???


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 25, 2012)

Chiere said:


> I mostly hate the cliche &quot;Sasuke comes back on his own&quot; story lines or when characters who don't typically have fangirls in the manga, suddenly have a whole group of them. I also hate how in SasuSaku stories, they give the kids pink hair and/or green eyes, it's not genetically possibly I don't think so anyways and that really gets on my nerves.



 There are a number of anime guys with pink hair but I don't know if we ever see their parent's hair color, so it's a toss-up.  If blue, green and pink hair colors exist at all, who's to say that black haired and pink haired parents won't have a pink haired child?  Or equally, why not blue or green?  There are no real clear genetics explanations, outside of doujutsus and coloration that are imposed by the anime artists.  It's the fact, as you said, that it's hammered home, rather than just a normal description. 

But don't get me started on newborn babies who have a definite eye color at birth, much less a full-developed doujutsu at birth.  All babies have murky  (occasionally dark grey) eyes for quite some time before an eye color develops and it probably will change as they age.

Having said that (and back to your comment), I am also tired of writers who feel the need to drive home the point of parentage by making sure the child(ren) have very recognizable physical traits that are practically a signature of the parent(s).  OK, we get it, Sasuke's the dad and there's no question that he and Sakura are the parents.  Naruto & Hinata have kids?  There's got to be blond hair/blue eye/white eyes/blue-black hair in equal measure per kid, preferably one trait from each parent.  

But having Naruto's children born with whiskers?  Do they also have a fox demon sealed in them?  Don't think so.  And there is no indication that chakra is transferred from parent to child.  Maybe a genetic predisposition to ability/capacity/elemental affinity. 



Itachifan727 said:


> I still say he should be a ronin.
> 
> What's afterglow?
> 
> ...




 It's that warm, exhausted yet euphoric sensation you get after sex or other physically demanding work.  Endorphins all over the place.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

Wait, isn't that an orgasm?  Or is it that happy feeling after the--Fuck it.

This is why I don't write lemons.  I kinda want to try though  You perverts are egging on my darker side.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 25, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Wait, isn't that an orgasm?  Or is it that happy feeling after the--Fuck it.
> 
> This is why I don't write lemons.  I kinda want to try though  You perverts are egging on my darker side.





An orgasm is the generally very intense, nearly mindlessly physical culmination of all the foreplay and aerobic activity of the sex act.  _After_glow is the cooling down period after all that exertion.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 25, 2012)

Oooh. I blame the education system; they don't teach this shit at all, hence the bad fanfic with IKEA erotica or AIS. 

I find this weird how i can talk about this with complete strangers yet not so much with my parents


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 25, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Oooh. I blame the education system; they don't teach this shit at all, hence the bad fanfic with IKEA erotica or AIS.
> 
> I find this weird how i can talk about this with complete strangers yet not so much with my parents



Well, it's nice that you can talk to someone.  It'll keep you from writing anatomically hilarious lemons.   

Another little tidbit to keep in mind is that it's not statistically common for both parties to achieve release at the same moment.  I've read too many stories where both finish in a blinding, white-hot moment of pure bliss.  

It _can_ happen and it's nice but having one or the other finish a short while later is normal and can be just as satisfying.  Unless the guy goes limp too soon but still, (depending on your philosophy and physical needs) bad sex can be better than no sex.  Provided it isn't always bad.  That leads to much frustration.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 26, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Well, it's nice that you can talk to someone.  It'll keep you from writing anatomically hilarious lemons.
> 
> Another little tidbit to keep in mind is that it's not statistically common for both parties to achieve release at the same moment.  I've read too many stories where both finish in a blinding, white-hot moment of pure bliss.
> 
> It _can_ happen and it's nice but having one or the other finish a short while later is normal and can be just as satisfying.  Unless the guy goes limp too soon but still, (depending on your philosophy and physical needs) bad sex can be better than no sex.  Provided it isn't always bad.  That leads to much frustration.



I'm laughing. Hard. Yes, all of these are undeniable truths!

It must also be pointed out:

Virgins (female) will rarely ever reach an orgasm, on their first, lets say, 3 times. They feeling of discomfort is usually too strong.

Also, if something is "too tight", the guy probably hurts as well.

Furthermore, girls don't go "Ah, ah, oh my god, fuck, please, more, yes, more" all the damn time during sexual intercourse, like they do in porn. They usually just moan/groan/grunt and might whisper a word or two every now and then. At most.

Finally, the penis does not shoot fountains over fountains of steaming hit liquid that can totally cover large areas of skin. Thank you.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 26, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Finally, the penis does not shoot fountains over fountains of steaming hit liquid that can totally cover large areas of skin. Thank you.



O rly? Cleary you haven't met me


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 26, 2012)

Blood as lube, spit as lube....seriously, does that even work?????


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Blood as lube....seriously, does that even work?????


Of course not. Blood congeals and coagulates to become dry, using it as a lubricant is like eating saltine crackers without drinking anything.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 26, 2012)

I thought so...ew.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 26, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Blood as lube, spit as lube....seriously, does that even work?????



Blood no. There are so many things wrong with that. Partly because of this:





Tomcat171 said:


> Of course not. Blood congeals and coagulates to become dry, using it as a lubricant is like eating saltine crackers without drinking anything.


 And also because if you're bleeding enough that you even think it could be used as lubrication, you've probably torn something pretty badly and it would really be best if you stopped.

Spit on the other hand, is possible. But dainty little spitting wouldn't cut it, you'd need to hack up a pretty big lugie to have enough. So, it's basically that gross (and not very sexy) alternative for when there's nothing else on hand.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

So the outcome of our discussion is this:

Buy Durex or one of its equivalents


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

this thread...

I think I shall try to write a lemon  Let's see how I can do with all information I;ve gained. *challenge set*


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> this thread...
> 
> I think I shall try to write a lemon  Let's see how I can do with all information I;ve gained. *challenge set*


The Lemon FC in the Bathhouse is full of yaoi writers! I feel alone when I'm there  

Even though it rarely gets posted in...


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 26, 2012)

Could be worse. You could be like me, who has written 35.000 words now, and no one has kissed anyone yet. Or f**** anyone. Or even killed anyone.

Sacrilege!


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

I've got one of those: currently 41,746 words (inc. A/Ns), 3 chapters, and the only thing that's been broken is a pen. There's been some swearing, but that's it...

...For the moment.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

i'll admit i used to love naruto centric fanfics since at the time the manga focused too much on sasuke what with connecting many characters and back stories to uchiha as much as possible. yes i eventually got bored with all the same bs marty stu god mode fics and i came to the conclusion after waiting for a good written fic for many months that it was never gonna come.

i started reading fics after watching the wave arc and when i first saw that i searched for a fic that carried the same angsty magic where, the story doesnt constantly bow to sasuke's balls while making naruto look like an idiotic moron (which the show/kishi shamefully does) and focuses on important serious things. 

sure the cliche of "naruto got beat up by villagers" has been done to death but when i was first exposed to it i was hooked. i really felt at the time that naruto was more special than the constantly praised sasuke and his clan, being a jinchuuriki and all.

what i wanted in a naruto centric fic was one where naruto isn't constantly praised and is written more believable, he has his rights to be upset but not constantly being a douche about it. he still keeps moving forward, it was ok to show a little dark side in him but not too much to the point he looks like the main bad guy. no unbelievable romances or harems with women he barely knows. a good built relationship between naruto and kurama, a little quick mentioning of naruto looking like the fourth, no time travel, no spelling out the obvious fact that naruto is minato's son, there is no uzumaki clan, no rikudou, in fact that back story is completely balls.

have naruto know at least a couple more jutsu to have the fights interesting and not predictable shadow clone faints and behind rasengans. have naruto be more like a trickster, play with his strengths from when he used to be a brat, have him be a trap setter, that could fit him.

as for the villains, have them also be interested in naruto. not just sasuke alone. have the akatsuki all be interested in naruto and the other jinchuuriki, no uchiha interests. (except for itachi of course) NO DEIDARA CENTRIC PLZ, no ooc bs when this should be a criminal organization. have the akatsuki leader be more into naruto than any other of the hosts by capturing him and wanting him to join (for some well written reason). at that point in the story naruto is a sly fox and plans on defeating the akatsuki from the inside. this of course fails and naruto has to retreat back to his village which he has to now earn back their trust again.

now remember, sasuke had orochimaru, so of course naruto had akatsuki. in the manga 

*Spoiler*: __ 



everything tacs onto sasuke


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

I'm surprised Kishi never did this: I'd like a rouge-type Naruto (RPG lingo there.)

I mean, he'd be so fucking good at it; there are countless ways he could do it, even with just Kage bunshin.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 26, 2012)

Another peeve...

take a look at THIS.



> "Kakashi, I have always wondered, when did you start to like me?" Kakashi looked at Naruto and said
> "Well I have always thought of you as interesting, even when you where a kid, but not in the `*omg I want to be your boyfriend*? kind of way of course. But when you got home from your training with Jiraya I really started to notice you in a different way. So after gathering courage for a while I asked you out, and here we are. How about you Naruto?"
> Naruto hesitated for a while before he started to tell his story
> "I have had a huge crush on you sense...well as long as I can remember. And when you asked me out I thought I was dreaming. It took me a loooong time before I realised that I was not dreaming"


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

FUCKING YAOI ruins everything. Cept KakashiXKakashi or narutoXNaruto. 

/so many things about that just so wrong.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 26, 2012)

It's not the yaoi that bothers me (that story only contained shonen-ai, but very poorly written imo), but the expression. "omg blabla".

Seriously, if you have the time to write a fic you must also have the time to at least avoid such abbreviations.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

it's the fandom; some of the shit they write is just squicktastic. I mean Org13 being fucking NAZIS!? Goddamn it. I don't mind it, but the badly written shit is some of the worst; same with BIG3 het, anything SasuSaku, Naruhina, NaruSaku,NaruSasu is just plain and boring. No one can come up with decent shit anymore.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

if you want a romantic relationship you gotta build it. not just having them hump each other like wild rabbits with no chemistry or off panel chemistry the reader never gets to see, romance doesn't work like that unless youre writting in a future setting. if two characters are say sucking each others faces without warning or build up then the reader doesn't care. the fans of the pairing might but even they will sense that some element is missing.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

I think that's the problem; either the wiriter doesn't give a shit nor the readers; they just like the smex.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

if its an akatsuki fic its bound to be deidara centric and most of them being ooc. disgusting.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 26, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> if you want a romantic relationship you gotta build it. not just having them hump each other like wild rabbits with no chemistry or off panel chemistry the reader never gets to see, romance doesn't work like that unless youre writting in a future setting. if two characters are say sucking each others faces without warning or build up then the reader doesn't care. the fans of the pairing might but even they will sense that some element is missing.



I absolutely agree.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

RRRGHAAAGGH!

THEY ARE CRIMINALS! Not some gothic boy band full of hormone filled adults or w/etf. They will kill you without thinking about it twice and not keep you for any reason; no matter how much you know about this universe be it theirs or our own; they're smart enough to figure shit out w/o some MS's helping them do it while falling in love.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

i hate HATE HAAATE fanon deidara. he is by far one of the most annoying fanfic cliches i've ever read perhaps more than I'll ever read.


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## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

He turn like flamboyantly gay or something. It's like wTF?

He may be an artist, but he's also a bomber/suicide bomber, I mean.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

i once read a fic where naruto is adopted by dei and sasori and they were playing house (deidar being called mom or dad and sasori being called mom/dad).  it was disturbing and it made me wanna smash things.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 26, 2012)

I couldn't give a damn about Deidara's sexual orientation, it's making him a weepy, helpless "uke" that bothers me. Just because someone is gay it doesn't mean there has to be a "girl" and "guy" in the relationship. (Which also implies women can't be dominant...)


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 26, 2012)

I don't know about you guys, but my favorite fanfics are K+-Rated highschool fics starring NaruHina, ShikaIno, SasuSaku, NejiTen and GaaraOC.

But that's just me


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

ugh, highschool fics. no thanks. they're all the same to me. i used to go to ff.net after a long day of highschool to get my mind off of the real world for a bit, not be reminded constantly of the one thing that consumed most of my teenage years.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

Can somebody fill me in on something? What entails 'fanon Deidara'? How is he different under this moniker? If it's something to do with yaoi, then that's probably the reason I don't know the true denotion of the phrase.



Whirlpool said:


> I don't know about you guys, but my favorite fanfics are K+-Rated highschool fics starring *NaruHina*, ShikaIno, *SasuSaku*, NejiTen and GaaraOC.
> 
> But that's just me


Die. Right now. In a hole filled with poisonous snakes, AIDS needles and Ellen Degeneres


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 26, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Can somebody fill me in on something? What entails 'fanon Deidara'? How is he different under this moniker? If it's something to do with yaoi, then that's probably the reason I don't know the true denotion of the phrase.
> 
> 
> Die. Right now. In a hole filled with poisonous snakes, AIDS needles and Ellen Degeneres



If i was serious, i would totally take your advice


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> If i was serious, i would totally take your advice


I saw the sarcasm there for once, 's cool 

Y u h8 on heye skuul ficks?


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

any story can be interesting. it just depends on how its done. you just gotta make it work. ever drawn a picture before where you had to erase a certain part and redo it all over again? its the same with writing, you have to go back and make sure it makes sense. just because you (the author) understand it doesn't mean the audience does as well. thats part of being creative. keep your audience interested and keep them guessing until the answers come.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

The problem is that a fic doesn't have to be 'urmayzeeng' to make people keep guessing what's going to happen/did happen with the plot and/or characters.

I mean it's natural to ask unanswered questions in any episodic narrative.

Take mine for example:

An NI fic: "How did Naruto and Ino get to this stage?", "How will Sakura react around the both of them in the future now that she knows?"

A HS NI fic: "What were the reasons for Naruto taking up the drums?", "Why does he want nobody at the school figuring it out?", "Why did he refuse to get into the car when it would have made his journey home much shorter?", "How will Sasuke react to the revelation?"

Honestly, it is incredibly easy to get the audience curious in my opinion; well...providing they're mindless fanfic readers, mind you


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Mar 26, 2012)

i know its a shounen manga and the main importance is the fight scenes, but characters work to you know. i see potential in the naruto series more so than i ever did dbz. and i know theres one well written fic out there that blows kishimoto's writing right out of the map.


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## Rouge Angle (Mar 26, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Can somebody fill me in on something? What entails 'fanon Deidara'? How is he different under this moniker? If it's something to do with yaoi, then that's probably the reason I don't know the true denotion of the phrase.


Bad yaoi writers are definitely the worst, but any "OMG Deidara is leik so hawt11!" fanthings can be held responsible for making him really OOC. It's not like he's a bat-shit crazy terrorist/suicide bomber or anything-- he's really just a misunderstood helpless little boy who needs a hug!  But the bad yaoi writers are mostly guilty. If I remember (I avoid this shit nowadays) they make him ditzy, hyper, weepy, weak and ultra "girly."

KILL IT WITH AMATERASU.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> I couldn't give a damn about Deidara's sexual orientation, it's making him a weepy, helpless "uke" that bothers me. Just because someone is gay it doesn't mean there has to be a "girl" and "guy" in the relationship. (Which also implies women can't be dominant...)



thisthisthis.

I'd love to be on top, always thought of myself as strong. Just because it's sex doesn't mean there are defined roles; besides it's not like the men have to have something shoved up their front; only the back though that prolly does hurt. They don't have to carry a child for nine months endure numerous changes in mood, stomach issues, food cravings and things because they get banged and no one used protection. not to mention the fact that people stare at your stomach the while time, thinking things like whore or slut.  Though I am aware that sex does not always mean children, but still, men don't have to push out a 7 pound "shit" through their front.  

INTERNET Y U NO...MAKE SENSE. 

I'm honestly just guessing here, and if i do sound sexist to dudes I did not mean that they don't through the same shit, but we have to go through some crazy stuff that will never have to experince unless they change gender.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

Even a male undergoing a gender swap doesn't give them an idea of what a woman goes through during pregnancy. The only 'male pregnancies' so far have only been by women who were in the middle of trans-gender treatment.

Although your point is completely valid, Itachi, just remember that men don't actually have a womb. We couldn't hold a child if we tried...even science says it'd be nearly impossible.

Wait...didn't we have this discussion once already about 20 pages ago?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

LOL yeah we did.  Still, just wanted to bring it up for completenesses sake.


----------



## Chiere (Mar 26, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> There are a number of anime guys with pink hair but I don't know if we ever see their parent's hair color, so it's a toss-up.  If blue, green and pink hair colors exist at all, who's to say that black haired and pink haired parents won't have a pink haired child?  Or equally, why not blue or green?  There are no real clear genetics explanations, outside of doujutsus and coloration that are imposed by the anime artists.  It's the fact, as you said, that it's hammered home, rather than just a normal description.



That's true. But, I was kinda referring to how usually in the fanfictions, they give the child pink hair as a "joke" and that joke has gotten old IMO. But, yeah, honestly with anime, I guess really any combinations are really genetically possible. 



> But don't get me started on newborn babies who have a definite eye color at birth, much less a full-developed doujutsu at birth.  All babies have murky  (occasionally dark grey) eyes for quite some time before an eye color develops and it probably will change as they age.
> 
> Having said that (and back to your comment), I am also tired of writers who feel the need to drive home the point of parentage by making sure the child(ren) have very recognizable physical traits that are practically a signature of the parent(s).  OK, we get it, Sasuke's the dad and there's no question that he and Sakura are the parents.  Naruto & Hinata have kids?  There's got to be blond hair/blue eye/white eyes/blue-black hair in equal measure per kid, preferably one trait from each parent.
> 
> But having Naruto's children born with whiskers?  Do they also have a fox demon sealed in them?  Don't think so.  And there is no indication that chakra is transferred from parent to child.  Maybe a genetic predisposition to ability/capacity/elemental affinity.


Completely agreed here, even though it's more evident in fanart than fanfiction. Since with stories, even with a description, I tend to imagine however I want to. But with fanart,  they make (with most couples) the children look exactly alike. The same eye color, hair color, hair style, clothes, personality traits. And I'm left thinking that no, that's not what happens. Children develop their own traits, styles, etc. 

IDK about the whiskers thing. I guess they just assume that it's passed down even though it's shown that it's not, I think. But.../shrugs/


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 26, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> FUCKING YAOI ruins everything. Cept KakashiXKakashi or narutoXNaruto.
> 
> /so many things about that just so wrong.



But I like NarutoXshadow clone and NarutoXfemNaru

Naruto being beaten up by villagers is a big pet peeve of mine.  In the show and in the manga, it was stressed again and again that he didn't like the looks that he got.  If he'd been beaten up by people who aren't other children, he would've remembered vividly.



AngstToThePeople said:


> Could be worse. You could be like me, who has written 35.000 words now, and no one has kissed anyone yet. Or f**** anyone. Or even killed anyone.
> 
> Sacrilege!




That sounds like my fanfiction.  I just don't like to write romance, period.  Maybe I'll try my hand at writing lemon but I rarely get that sort of inspiration.

As for the genetics, here's my take on the big three:

Whiskers are okay.  
Dojutsus.... I'm about to come up with an explanation for at least the Byakugan and possibly the Sharingan but that will only be revealed in a fanfic.  Maybe chakra patterns will reveal it all.


----------



## Kezone (Mar 26, 2012)

Do you guys know of any child that's exactly like their parents? Like a complete carbon copy? I don't. It seems that NextGen fanfics are only to promote the couple that the author likes and push a bunch of OCs into the positions of canon characters. 

I did write a NextGen once, but it was a oneshot and didn't have any pairings. Somehow.


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## Tomcat171 (Mar 26, 2012)

About the whiskers: Don't forget that Naruto had them as he was birthed, before the sealing took place. I'd say it has more to do with a female jinchuuriki than anything else and wager that Naruto's children wouldn't have any markings. I say that last part because, as far as I'm aware, sealed tailed beasts have nothing to do with genetics, only chakra. And since a female jinchuuriki's pregnancy is longer due to redirection of chakra...

I'm not going to write anything too far into next gen. I was considering going as far as a the child's/children's teenage years for one fic alone, but the focus would still be on the actual main characters(s).


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

That's where shit gets messy; or filled with MS's of any type and boring plot.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 26, 2012)

Genderbending is just a guy who likes a gay couple but doesn't like ....well yaoi.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

Or thinks that the char is het and changes their interest to be het if not already. Genderbending could be fun if done right; Another thing I want to try.


----------



## Kezone (Mar 26, 2012)

I like Genderbends when done correctly, but a lot of people seem to not like them.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

The fuck was that; she can draw good but the chars are bland and unoriginal.


----------



## Kezone (Mar 26, 2012)

And the names! They were like combinations of their parent's names! I mean, what the hell?! Shikino? Seriously?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 26, 2012)

it was just all around bad.


----------



## Arial (Mar 26, 2012)

KezoneShippuden said:


> And the names! They were like combinations of their parent's names! I mean, what the hell?! Shikino? Seriously?



Talk about lack of creativity... 

I bet they were carbon copies of their parents too.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 27, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> RRRGHAAAGGH!
> 
> THEY ARE CRIMINALS! Not some gothic boy band full of hormone filled adults or w/etf. They will kill you without thinking about it twice and not keep you for any reason; no matter how much you know about this universe be it theirs or our own; they're smart enough to figure shit out w/o some MS's helping them do it while falling in love.



I'm gonna reiterate my earlier stance on making Akatsuki characters so one-dimensional.  They've shown more than just blood-thirsty characteristics, so I don't like stories where they're just deranged killers.  They've been shown to have conversations, crack jokes, whine about work, try to impress or compete with one another--outside of the fact that their main job is to collect bounties and jinchuuriki, they are fairly normal (if S-class) ninjas.  Even Kisame elected to commit suicide rather than kill the folks on the island because he agreed with Itachi in the end; we are humans, not animals.



Rouge Angle said:


> Bad yaoi writers are definitely the worst, but any "OMG Deidara is leik so hawt11!" fanthings can be held responsible for making him really OOC. It's not like he's a bat-shit crazy terrorist/suicide bomber or anything-- he's really just a misunderstood helpless little boy who needs a hug!  But the bad yaoi writers are mostly guilty. If I remember (I avoid this shit nowadays) they make him ditzy, hyper, weepy, weak and ultra "girly."
> 
> KILL IT WITH AMATERASU.



Thank the gods that I've never read any fics like that!  I've had the good fortune to find any number of Deidara stories where he's a fairly normal person, albeit still obsessed with his "art."  But he didn't go around blowing people up for fun.  He sometimes took jobs where that was involved but it wasn't a compulsion or hobby.  And lol at "fanthings."  Some of them do defy human description, don't they?  



Tomcat171 said:


> About the whiskers: Don't forget that Naruto had them as he was birthed, before the sealing took place. I'd say it has more to do with a female jinchuuriki than anything else and wager that Naruto's children wouldn't have any markings. I say that last part because, as far as I'm aware, sealed tailed beasts have nothing to do with genetics, only chakra. And since a female jinchuuriki's pregnancy is longer due to redirection of chakra...



I've done a bit of research on that.  Although it's plainly speculation, the theory that Naruto's whisker marks being present at birth might have come from the close proximity to Kurama's chakra during gestation seems pretty reasonable.  Kushina and Mito didn't have the marks, as they were strictly jinchuuriki, not the children of jinchuuriki.  I wish we knew something about the child that Mito bore, so we could see if that child also had the markings.

We don't know if Mito and Hashirama had more than one child but their offspring became Tsunade's parent.  Tsunade clearly doesn't bear the whisker marks, so it seems that it isn't passed on normally to a child that doesn't share the body of the mother and close proximity to the kyuubi's chakra.  Tsunade seems to have inherited some of the Uzumaki's tendency toward seals, as the diamond mark on her forehead that stores chakra is very similar to the one Mito also has.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

Well, yeah but these guys amp it up to eleven, making it seem like these guys aren't ninjas and won't kill you if it didn't further their goals. I'm tired so that may or may not have made much sense...but basically the Akatsuki are flanderized so awful it's just...


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 27, 2012)

KezoneShippuden said:


> I like Genderbends when done correctly, but a lot of people seem to not like them.



I like genderbends.

As for nextgen, although I like the idea of writing a whole new story that's set in a different time period with whole new characters, it's rare for me to enjoy a nextgen fic.  Don't get me wrong there, I'll definitely go for a good one, but I just can't say that about most of these next gens.  

One of my pet peeves when it comes to next gen is kids who have multicolored hair, as in two different colors on the same head.  Unless they dyed it, it irks me to no end.  Or eyes of two different colors.

I do have a plot bunny about a very old Naruto, who's around Mito's age in the story, preparing to pass the fox onto one of his descendants at least five generations down.

I think that my favorite time period to read and write is the previous generation(s).  Like nextgen, it's a shift from the present, but unlike it, the authors, on average, are a lot more original.  In fact, I think I tend to enjoy well-written fics that flesh out all of the juicy details of the ninja history that we only get tidbits of more than any other kind of fanfic.

I don't think the Akatsuki are the only victims of one-dimensional (mis)characterization.  That sounds like just about every major character in the series.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 27, 2012)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> One of my pet peeves when it comes to next gen is kids who have multicolored hair, as in two different colors on the same head.  Unless they dyed it, it irks me to no end.  Or eyes of two different colors.



Amen!  When Teklet was into anime, she and her group of friends would take a stock image of a canon character and change the hair color, generally with 2 hideous colors on the same head, and say that way their OC.  Drove me nuts.



BellatrixLestrange said:


> I do have a plot bunny about a very old Naruto, who's around Mito's age in the story, preparing to pass the fox onto one of his descendants at least five generations down.



I read one story that documented the passing of the Konoha 11 in little snippets.  It was sweet and sad and I had very mixed emotions about it.  Happy to look back on their lives but sad that they were ending.  Don't remember if they covered what Naruto did about the kyuubi, tho.



BellatrixLestrange said:


> I don't think the Akatsuki are the only victims of one-dimensional (mis)characterization.  That sounds like just about every major character in the series.



That's true for many characters but I don't know that the major characters suffer so much in fanfiction.  They're generally allowed to have activities that don't solely focus on being ninjas.  Shopping, eating, interacting with other characters, etc.

And isn't that part of the fun of writing a fanfic?  To flesh out and give depth to characters who have been plot points in the canon media?  Making a character nothing but a killer, gossip, over-powered genius, etc. is not far removed from making them repeat cliche behavior (always saying "troublesome," "dattebayo," continually drinking sake, etc).  It's a chance to present something other than stale, cookie-cutter images of characters.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Welp, Raptorcloak and I have sort of made amends. Turns out he saw some the stuff I said about him in this thread and, in all honesty, he was well within his rights to be pissed and block me. I wasn't exactly subtle...

I've said sorry and tried to make chummy, so it's just something for time to determine now.


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 27, 2012)

I once heard;

'Kunato'

'Mishina'

Three guesses


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I once heard;
> 
> 'Kunato'
> 
> ...


Kunato = Kurotsuchi/Naruto 

and 

Mishina = Misumi/Hinata

Duh


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 27, 2012)

KezoneShippuden said:


> And the names! They were like combinations of their parent's names! I mean, what the hell?! Shikino? Seriously?



HIRUTO AND NANATA


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

Oh Good God... were they next gen chars?


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 27, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Oh Good God... were they next gen chars?



Of course.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

FFFUUUUUU~~~~~~~   Why is everybody a carbon copy?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Blazing CobaltX said:


> NANATA


NaaNaNaNaNaNaa

SPACE PIRATES

NaaNaNaNaNaNaa

SPACE PIRATES

(Sorry. Space Pirates is/was a kids TV show here in the UK. It contained one of those songs you despise but couldn't forget...a bit like 'Friday' or something similar)


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

I thought it was Metriod or something...:rofl


----------



## Vermin (Mar 27, 2012)

:ho

*READ AT YOUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING RISK*


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Zoroark said:


> :ho
> 
> *READ AT YOUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING RISK*





> Naruto, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you know that I wore this gay, sexy outfit just for our fucking reunion? Kami, Naruto, what the fuck?



Oh, eat your heart out Shakespeare...


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 27, 2012)

OK, I read it.  Time to drink my medication now.


----------



## Nemo (Mar 27, 2012)

That is the most beautiful, informative, and insightful piece of literature I have ever read.

I am truly awestruck. 


*Spoiler*: __ 



:ho


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm reading it now. My thoughts: 



> Ok, In here, Itachi is being killed for NO reason..


 ? Poor Itachi. He's not convenient or important, let's just kill him off. 



> Yes, the most powerful, most down-to-earth, most *HOTTEST*ninja is back in Konoha, and why wont he be? He had just killed his brother in the showdown, fighting over whatever they were fighting about.


 ... I get that you fap to Sasuke, author-creature. But could you try to make yourself not look like an overly biased fourteen-year-old fangirl? Oh wait...



> Wait, I'm not gay, how could I say that?


 And yet you felt the need to make him wear 'this gay sexy outfit', even though he's not gay...

From the ending A/N:





> Yes I do like Sasuke, but not in a fangirl way.


  

Fic was a cliche pile of awful. Though the author is _actually_ fourteen, so I suppose they get some slack for that.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 27, 2012)

> Sasuke is back in Konoha. He's waiting.. 'Do you know that I wore this gay, sexy outfit just for our freakin reunion?



I already knew that it was going to be bad.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 27, 2012)

Even if one were to forgive the use of bold letters instead of punctuation, or abrupt "we're all gay now" theme, the fact that Sasuke j_ust walked back into the village_ is cause to bundle torches and call out the rabble.


----------



## Baby Joe (Mar 27, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Even if one were to forgive the use of bold letters instead of punctuation, or abrupt "we're all gay now" theme, the fact that Sasuke j_ust walked back into the village_ is cause to bundle torches and call out the rabble.



I know right? Nah, he just _waltzes_ into Konoha and no one cares.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Considering it was written by a fourteen-year-old (I'll naturally assume girl, since it's SasNar and all), can you really expect anything better?


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 27, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Considering it was written by a fourteen-year-old (I'll naturally assume girl, since it's SasNar and all), can you really expect anything better?



I find this offensive.

At 14 I could have written x10 better fanfic


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

Maybe. We may be able to help, not FLAME, help. 

I mean, some of the shit I wrote at fourteen was just as bad, why i put it in the heap...go look in the KHR and cringe.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> I find this offensive.
> 
> At 14 I could have written x10 better fanfic


Yeah, but at least you have a grasp, considering you've read in this very thread the sort of things that annoy us, of what could make a good fic.

Naturally, age is often not a factor...but with things like that SasNar above...can you really blame me for saying that?


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 27, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Yeah, but at least you have a grasp, considering you've read in this very thread the sort of things that annoy us, of what could make a good fic.
> 
> Naturally, age is often not a factor...but with things like that SasNar above...can you really blame me for saying that?



To be honest, at least when I was 14 I was human. These 14-year old yaoi fangirls...i doubt they're the same species as a superior being like I 

/bias, even though error 

EDIT: By the way, my previous post wasn't serious  I wasn't actually offended...


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

I knew that, brah. If I took it seriously, I would have actually bothered apologising


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

wait wait, what? I'm lost now...


----------



## Whirlpool (Mar 27, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I knew that, brah. If I took it seriously, I would have actually bothered apologising



Ahh...

Well played sir  It seems I was the one who took you seriously


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 27, 2012)

> *Yes, the most powerful, most down-to-earth, most *HOTTEST*ninja is back in Konoha, and why wont he be? He had just killed his brother in the showdown, fighting over whatever they were fighting about.
> *


...

T___T

Why, mother of god, why?

Alright, I used to be a 14-year old fangirl, too. Naruto didn't exist at the time, and my fandom was FF7. And I wrote AerisxTifa lemons. But they made a little bit of sense, I swear. AUs in which Sephiroth kills _Cloud_ the the temple of the ancients, the two women who had loved him find silent understanding in one another, since the rest are not grieving as heavily as they are, slowly become friends, and... and there was plot, too... being fourteen is not a good excuse for writing what I just read!


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Don't you all just love those fics that explain every reason for why things are during the first paragraph?

"Sasuke was walking down the central avenue of Konohagakure. He had been formally pardoned by the council after Naruto fought him in a big battle when he originally tried to destroy the village and then Naruto stood up for him at his trial and he was completely exonerated."

I mean, thanks for answering all my questions right there, within the first paragraph, now I don't need to read the fic anymore


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

It is fine to do in parody thoough; there it kinda doesn't bother me as much. Slightly. I mean, I'd do it in a way like that to...i have no idea what im trying to say here.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 27, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> It is fine to do in parody thoough; there it kinda doesn't bother me as much. Slightly. I mean, I'd do it in a way like that to...i have no idea what im trying to say here.


You on drugs? Drunk, maybe? 

I see where you're coming from, but I was more referring to 'serious' fics.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 27, 2012)

No I just have a hard time with words and forming my thoughts...


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 28, 2012)

Hmm, well it looks like more people would still have me keep Naruto's Uzumaki surname for the predicament I brought up...even though only nine people have voted so far 

But yeah, the vote is 8 to 1, so I think it's a no-brainer.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Mar 28, 2012)

Because Uzumaki rocks.  The Uzumakis were an entire freaking clan with a village all to themselves.  Besides, in that one manga page where Kushina told Naruto to stick around for breakfast, it said 'breakfast with the Uzumaki family'.  Then there's the fact that Minato learned some seals from Kushina's mother.  All of this suggests that Minato married into the Uzumaki family, not the other way around.

On the talk about (un)original character names for the nextgen, this just reminds me that I feel like naming one of my minor characters after a professor at my uni.  Not sure if I want to use his last name or his first name as the character's name.  The namesake is a Japanese guy.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 28, 2012)

I remember that Uzumaki family thing...but it never tweaked in my mind.

STOOPAD :sanji

I did a kind of silly name mix up when I was hand-writing (remember that old historic thing called 'pen and paper'? I used to use that when I wrote) an Ace Combat fic that has yet to come to fruition. I used the first name of one of my male school friends of the time, and the surname of one of my female school friends at the time. I thought it was fine at the time (which was...like...2007).

But now I'm like . But that's mostly because I deliberately split myself apart from them when I realised they just weren't the right group of friends.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Mar 28, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> ...
> 
> T___T
> 
> ...



And that's why I never show my fics to people.


----------



## hannah (Mar 28, 2012)

That fic...
It feeds my delusions of a "justified" superiority complex. It's so freakin' precious I think I'm a great writer now. Thank goodness for 13 year old fangirls!


----------



## Nemo (Mar 28, 2012)

hannah said:


> Thank goodness for 13 year old fangirls!



She's 14.


----------



## Kezone (Mar 28, 2012)

When she talks to the characters at the end:




> Rukio: Oh wow.. I'm not even suppose to know those words much more say it..-blinks-




Y on Fanfic.net?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 28, 2012)

What is this I don't even...


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 29, 2012)

Did I mention the fic where Naruto finds a Golden Retriever?


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 29, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Did I mention the fic where Naruto finds a Golden Retriever?



Was it sealed in Sakura?


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 29, 2012)

No, he found it in a forrest


----------



## The Jeffrey (Mar 29, 2012)

hyena611 said:


> Did I mention the fic where Naruto finds a Golden Retriever?





What's the name of the fic?


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 29, 2012)

Damn, I really don't remember...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 29, 2012)

shut up. shuuut up. you have to be shitting me.  

shit this is jsut as bad...



Man's Best Friend ? by TheLightsShadow reviews
Sasuke has a golden retriever named Naruto. His dog, disappears one day and while he is frantically looking for his lost dog, he meets a tanned blond named Naruto… someone that seems to know an awful lot about him...coincidence? I think not.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 29, 2012)

No way. No fuckin way.
:rofl


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 29, 2012)

It was made in 07, so duh it's gotta be bad. 

FFUUU~~ They turned Lee into a dog too and Sakura is his ownert=. WTF!?  :rofl


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 29, 2012)

Maybe the whole pet-thing is just a metaphor


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Mar 29, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> shut up. shuuut up. you have to be shitting me.
> 
> shit this is jsut as bad...
> 
> ...



I'm at a loss for words.

But seriously, what I like best about this summary is the comma after "his dog" in the second sentance.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 29, 2012)

the comma could represent a wagging tail


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 29, 2012)

or his you know what/...:rofl


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 29, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Man's Best Friend ? by TheLightsShadow reviews
> Sasuke has a golden retriever named Naruto. His dog, disappears one day and while he is frantically looking for his lost dog, he meets a tanned blond named Naruto… someone that seems to know an awful lot about him...coincidence? I think not.



What? :rofl

Well I actually shouldn't be surprised. I've actually read a fic kind of similar to that one, it was disturbing. You see Sasuke was the animal (Naruto's new horse) and there was a magic hotspring that would make him horny and human. Worse still, Kakashi and Iruka were his gay adoptive parents and...Iruka used to be Kakashi's _dog_.

I am clearly a masochist when it comes to reading fics I should just leave well alone.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 29, 2012)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH~~ This is priceless! FF.net....


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 30, 2012)

> AU. Slash. HET. Crossover. *Harry Potter* was abandoned by the wizarding world. He *became the lazy genius Nara Shikamaru*. Naruto is an enigma that Kakashi is determined to solve. Threesomes and moresomes.



That hurts.


----------



## Nemo (Mar 30, 2012)

^ wtf, that can't be serious.


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 30, 2012)




----------



## Dragon (Mar 30, 2012)

hyena611 said:


>



:rofl 

I litterally pissed my pants


----------



## Nemo (Mar 30, 2012)

hyena611 said:


>


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 31, 2012)




----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

hyena611 said:


>



Oh, I was hoping for the glasses!  That's perfect!


----------



## hyena611 (Mar 31, 2012)

Oh damn, I wrote LumUs instead of LumOs. Ignore the typo, guys


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

wgi cares? that makes it even funnier!  FUU~


----------



## FrayedThread (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Man's Best Friend ? by TheLightsShadow reviews
> Sasuke has a golden retriever named Naruto. His dog, disappears one day and while he is frantically looking for his lost dog, he meets a tanned blond named Naruto… someone that seems to know an awful lot about him...coincidence? I think not.



 ... no words there...
Why are there so many FF's where they're all animals?



hyena611 said:


>


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

I know, it scares the shit out of me. I do have a weird ass idea where Kakashi is a Mightyena though  duno why....motherfucking pokemon.


----------



## Dragon (Mar 31, 2012)

^Because he has gray hair, one red eye and is a BAMF?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

Well, yes lol. I figured that would fit him most. That or a houndour...nah, that should be Itachi or Sasuke.


----------



## Dragon (Mar 31, 2012)

I've always imagined Sakura as a jigglypuff. Useless. (but that's just my opinion).


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

LOOL  It's either that or the fics that make her Anbu lvl with size FFFF tits.


----------



## Dragon (Mar 31, 2012)

She has lemon size tits... so wtf?

I love ff when she is useful...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

It was an exaggeration; most fics do something of the sort though an d it gets tiring.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> It was an exaggeration; most fics do something of the sort though an d it gets tiring.



I'm personally tired of the entire world's obsession with huge breasts.  I understand fan service but it gets old.  Especially when it's so exaggerated.  Not any better or worse than guys with horse dicks but that makes me cringe, as well.  Why can't people be interesting and normal at the same time?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

Horse...? Nevermind...that's porn for you. Never understood the thing with giant dicks though...JPN is jsut odd, I mean tentacle porn? The fuck?


----------



## Dragon (Mar 31, 2012)

@ Tekjounin: I think that they think it makes it sexier? I dunno but normal size makes it believable whereas horse dicks and huge tits just...


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Horse...? Nevermind...that's porn for you. Never understood the thing with giant dicks though...JPN is jsut odd, I mean tentacle porn? The fuck?



I meant the figurative "hung like a," not literal horse dicks.



Dragon said:


> @ Tekjounin: I think that they think it makes it sexier? I dunno but normal size makes it believable whereas horse dicks and huge tits just...



I guess I understand the "bigger is better" thing some folks buy into but I'm not hopping on the bandwagon.  If any body part is scary large, I'm running away.  Too much freak show to be sexy.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

Exactly, though some ppl are born with large parts.  Hereditary, genetics...though not everybody, still it happens to select few.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Exactly, though some ppl are born with large parts.  Hereditary, genetics...though not everybody, still it happens to select few.



I don't believe I've ever seen natural FFFF breasts on a healthy and fit woman.  

The few pics of oversized manbits I've seen have the same status as the elephant man for me.  No offense to those who can't help their excess but those who pursue it intentionally can't count me as a fan.

And men who won't even give a normally endowed woman a second look are not worth the effort to try for their attention.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

Wait, do F boobs even exist? The biggest I've seen bra tags are like DD+ or something?  Well, i do suppose for obese ppl and the like have to have bigger bras but...


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Wait, do F boobs even exist? The biggest I've seen bra tags are like DD+ or something?  Well, i do suppose for obese ppl and the like have to have bigger bras but...



Try triple K.  And she paid money to basically handicap herself.


----------



## Dragon (Mar 31, 2012)

I think I would only find hung men (in a FF) would be if they are ashamed of it or something because that would kind of break the stereotype (of FF charas with big dicks).


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Try triple K.  And she paid money to basically handicap herself.



OMFG!  What the...? And I thought D was bad...this is just  

We should spoof that; write like the story of a guy who has a horse lvl dick and how he cant get laid cause everyone finds it so creepy or something.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 31, 2012)

The thing is, it's almost a normal occurrence for the Queen's Blade fandom. I mean...just look at the character Cattleya, that's her canon appearance. SMH

So sadly, some measurements aren't even exaggerations .

But for Naruto specifically, apart from Tsunade, Samui and possibly Mei, I would agree that the bust sizes are done for nought but author self-fantasy. Then again, I'm going to be writing fics involving the middle and latter, but I know that they don't need any extra endowment.

And as for the males...well, the less said about it, the better. I'll only say that I at least exercise some amount of normality when I write that kind of content. I definitely didn't give Naruto a horse dick, I can assure you that much. I did, however, take a shot at those kinds of fics in that chapter's ending author note


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

auugh...big boobs with stacked body do not go well.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Mar 31, 2012)

I think I complained about this when I joined the thread. Upping the size of a character's boobs for the sake of fanservice annoys me. And giant dicks? The over the top measurements some fanfic authors come up with don't bring to mind 'sexy', they bring to mind 'ouch'. 

I don't get why they have precise measurements in the first place. Who stops to whip out a tape measure when they're about to have sex? I would think there would be other things on their mind.  Either it's a...very specific kink, or they're doing it wrong.


----------



## Dragon (Mar 31, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> I think I complained about this when I joined the thread. Upping the size of a character's boobs for the sake of fanservice annoys me. And giant dicks? *The over the top measurements some fanfic authors come up with don't bring to mind 'sexy', they bring to mind 'ouch*'.
> 
> I don't get why they have precise measurements in the first place. Who stops to whip out a tape measure when they're about to have sex? Either it's a...very specific kink, or they're doing it wrong.



:rofl 

That's exactly what I was going to say


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

I don't mind that there are some well-endowed women in Naruto.  At least it's not every damn female, like some series.  It's more of a realistic mix.  And most of them get to wear fairly modest clothing, too.  I don't know how some of the caricatures keep from falling out of their skimpy outfits when they fight.  Glue?  Staples?   

And, since they're ninjas, they aren't "oh, I'm gonna blush and pout, then accidentally show you my underpants"-type females.  

Tsunade is totally over the top, larger than life in everything she does.  Sure, big boobs but she's also a Legendary Sennin and a Kage, as well as a kick-ass medic.  Even when she was stabbed through the chest in the Sennin fight, she got back up, healed herself & tossed Orochimaru around like a ragdoll.  And Hinata may be closer to the stereotype fan service girl (shy, awkward around Naruto, etc) but she took on Pein!  It was a losing proposition but she gave it her best.

Then there's Sakura, who Kishi is neglecting (again) but was a force to be reckoned with in the Sasori fight.  I'm glad that he allows normally proportioned women to also kick ass.  I wouldn't follow the series if only the busty, beautiful females were powerful.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

thisthisthis

In my IKEA lemon fixing fic I was actually gonna have the chars discussing that lol...Something along the lines of;

He stopped, his hands freezing in place as they were on the hem of his pants. She was staring at him, her slightly showing cleave making him feel self-conscious. By the looks of things he was gong to have hard time competing with those, and his face turned slightly red as he thought of what they were about to do. Of course he had done it before; being a ninja meant you had to undertake all kinds of missions. It was not only the women who had to go and prostitute themselves out, males had to as well, and he sometimes even found himself in awkward situations. (dik, whatever, random memory of meeting his first gay client and putting on an act...) This was different, he genuinely cared for her( I want it to be ambiguous as possible though....) and wanted this to be different than those one-nighters. He was somewhat worried though; as he knew his 'features' (blah) weren't very well endowed. (taking a crack at it, lool)  

"What's wrong?" She mutters, her face puzzled and slightly blushing as she waits for him to continue undressing. _It's not me. is it?_ She thinks, watching his eyes look everywhere but at her. He coughs a little, trying to clear his throat and looks her in the eyes.

"Ah...it's nothing like that...I mean, you're well..." He stutters, unsure of how to form his thoughts, his tongue feelings super dry(lol). 

or at least something to that effect, I think. I dunno, still trying to think it out and shit.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 31, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Then there's Sakura, who Kishi is neglecting (again) but was a force to be reckoned with in the Sasori fight.  I'm glad that he allows normally proportioned women to also kick ass.  I wouldn't follow the series if only the busty, beautiful females were powerful.


*Remembers how 
*Spoiler*: __ 



Samui got completely owned by the Kin/Gin pair and is currently in stasis.*


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> thisthisthis
> 
> In my IKEA lemon fixing fic I was actually gonna have the chars discussing that lol...Something along the lines of;
> 
> ...



Not bad.    Not that guys necessarily need to be humiliated or anything but at least a bit insecure.  It's normal, at least initially.



Tomcat171 said:


> *Remembers how
> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> ...



And she's pretty powerful, so boobs don't grant extra special powers.

I like the idea that my younger family members, male and female, might grow up understanding that "ideal" external appearances don't make a person more worthwhile than regular folks.  

Beauty fades, accidents happen--does that mean those same people are less worthy once the shine is gone?  Maybe, if they've rested on their supposed laurels instead of developing as a human being.  And ideals change in time, so that's another pitfall.  But regular folks will be born every single day and we'll always outnumber the beautiful people.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 31, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> And she's pretty powerful, so boobs don't grant extra special powers.


I never said they did. But out of the three women I mentioned before, two of them are the Kage of their village. That's Kishi's anatomy mantra in effect there, not mine.

And powerful? Samui? Pff. I need to see it to believe it, I'm afraid. I have never seen Samui do anything that could be garnered as 'powerful' in any Naruto medium, she's been nothing but a sweet-tooth fan-service poster. Kishi has yet to justify her actual reason for being in the story, since she's done just about nothing.

Sure, she's a jounin and superior of Karui and Omoi, but we're expected to take that at face value. If she's meant to be 'powerful', then Kishi needs to show it. Right now, I've seen a woman who's done nothing but talk, lament, get grappled and get sucked into a gourd with barely any use of shinobi skills.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

I kinda have to agree, not that Karui and Omoi have done much either but...


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> I never said they did. But out of the three women I mentioned before, two of them are the Kage of their village. That's Kishi's anatomy mantra in effect there, not mine.
> 
> And powerful? Samui? Pff. I need to see it to believe it, I'm afraid. I have never seen Samui do anything that could be garnered as 'powerful' in any Naruto medium, she's been nothing but a sweet-tooth fan-service poster. Kishi has yet to justify her actual reason for being in the story, since she's done just about nothing.
> 
> Sure, she's a jounin and superior of Karui and Omoi, but we're expected to take that at face value. If she's meant to be 'powerful', then Kishi needs to show it. Right now, I've seen a woman who's done nothing but talk, lament, get grappled and get sucked into a gourd with barely any use of shinobi skills.



I didn't mean to imply that you'd said that; it was just a comment that having a popular attribute doesn't make the character tres awesome by default.

We have yet to see what Samui is capable of but (and I'll admit this is my own assumption) it would make sense for her Kage to want one of his best to be the one to venture into historically hostile territory and demand answers.  

As far as her performance in the war, not every ninja has the perfect counter to the enemy they end up facing, so it's more realistic to have even a powerful one lose on occasion.

Even if Tsunade is mostly awesome, she has her flaws.  She's still mourning Dan, she has a fondness for Sake and she loves people with all her heart.  Human, despite the pedestal she's on.

Back on topic, if fan fiction writers introduced a bit more realism into their stories, they might be more enjoyable.  We seem to all be agreed that Mary Sue/Gary Stu types are rather loathsome and it's nice to see characters have the occasional imperfection or just be normal in most respects.  But as close to canon as can be managed, if possible.  No need to make Itachi a compulsive nose-picker or Neji obsessed with his hair.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

Honestly, I think Neji would have some kind of thing for his hair, considering it's all long and silky like, but not on obsessive. He's just well groomed.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Honestly, I think Neji would have some kind of thing for his hair, considering it's all long and silky like, but not on obsessive. He's just well groomed.



_I _have an obsession with his gorgeous hair but he didn't seem to mind having 4-6" hacked off to repair the arrow damage after the "Rescue Sasuke" arc.

I must thank the every lovely Tomcat for bringing up Samui.  I started re-reading the manga to see what Kishi's said about her so far & rediscovered a bunch of stuff I've been meaning to check again.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Mar 31, 2012)

Totally intentional  

Stuff like what? I'll admit that I haven't fully schooled myself on her actual canon actions, but what I have seen of her just hasn't been impressive.


----------



## TekJounin (Mar 31, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Totally intentional
> 
> Stuff like what? I'll admit that I haven't fully schooled myself on her actual canon actions, but what I have seen of her just hasn't been impressive.



Since Kishi's a master of the ass-pull, I wanted to see if he's left hints, like he often does (that get shoved at us in flashbacks).  So far, nothing really, as she's introduced in chapter 413 and it goes all Pein vs Naruto forever.  But we'll see.

And I wanted to check if the manga had Pein making all of those ridiculous faces that they gave him in the anime during his fight with Naruto.  So far, my recollection of no buggy eyes or over-wide mouth expressions is correct.  But I suppose you can't really blame the animators for stretching the fight out, since they catch up to the manga so fast.  They just sort of over-did the facial distortions a bunch bit.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Mar 31, 2012)

That's why it is THE episode of Naruto.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 2, 2012)

Hey Guys

Geyez

Guis

Garz

Check this one out, it totally doesn't contain:

A GS Godlike Naruto that leaves Konoha at a young age with Kushina still alive and returns to join a team even though he's two years older then Team Gai.

Sasuke bashing.

Kunoichi that fangirl over Kushina as she's a totally mega awesome kunoichi that all the girls idolise.

A Shikamaru that instantly knows Naruto has the Kyuubi inside him simply based on the design on the handle of Naruto's sword.

Nor does it contain a friendly Kyuubi that _apologises to Kushina for killing Minato_.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

Where do you find this shit man?  how much did you read?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 2, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Where do you find this shit man?  how much did you read?


I have a community on alert; that story got added to its archive and so I got a notification about it.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

Ah, i see...:3


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Apr 2, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> OMFG!  What the...? And I thought D was bad...this is just
> 
> We should spoof that; write like the story of a guy who has a horse lvl dick and how he cant get laid cause everyone finds it so creepy or something.



that sounds like a story my friends told me IRL.  The dude's dick was too large and made it physically impossible for him to have sex with his boyfriend.  (yeah, I'm gay and so are my friends)  Made a great awkward first time story lol

That's what comes to mind when people supersize things in lemons.

Tomcat, that fic's pretty toxic.  Brings me another thing:

Some fanfic authors apparently never passed basic math and get characters' ages wrong.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Apr 2, 2012)

So, I was trying to find something decent with Gaara in it, because I felt like taking a break from all the Kakashi-centric or Naruto-centric things I have been reading.

I was shocked to find that something like *80%* of fics with Gaara in them as a major character on ff.net, are highschool fics.   

Does Gaara come off as so very "highschool"-ish that everyone simply *has* to write one of those? Why the damn hell is everyone writing horrible AUs and turning him into a subculture stereotype?

And it's almost always the same. He is either a goth, or a creep, or a creepy goth, or a gothy creep, and character A (Naruto, Sakura, Mary Sue, whatever), does not like him at first, but then it's luuuuuuurve, despite the high school popularity issues.

If Gaara wasn't fictional, he would claw his own eyes out at these, I swear.


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 2, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> So, I was trying to find something decent with Gaara in it, because I felt like taking a break from all the Kakashi-centric or Naruto-centric things I have been reading.
> 
> I was shocked to find that something like *80%* of fics with Gaara in them as a major character on ff.net, are highschool fics.
> 
> ...



I've read a few good ones that didn't hit those stereotypes.  Wish I'd kept better track of them.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

Poor Gaara; it's so sad how the HS fics do this to everybody though. Even Kakashi, he like pervs on the students when he wouldn't even in canon. Hell, even in regular verse fics he does this. do not want.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 2, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Poor Gaara; it's so sad how the HS fics do this to everybody though. Even Kakashi, he like pervs on the students when he wouldn't even in canon. Hell, even in regular verse fics he does this. do not want.


Lol, I do none of these.

In mine, Kakashi just reads his books and doesn't bat an eyelid at the students. And I did give Gaara his eye-rings without much explanation, but I certainly don't plan to turn him into a goth, I just made him a generally intelligent (and I don't mean uber-brainy-swot) guy who only speaks when he deems it necessary.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

honestly, if i wrote hs au I'd give him the rings from sleep deprivation since he studies so much/ his siblings are loud/aggrativing. sounds better than mascarra lol.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 2, 2012)

The eye rings, for me, are the only thing I feel need either changing or some sort of reason for being. Sadly, it's kind of hard to think of any...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

Yeah in canon it's easy to explain with bijuus and the fantasy shit going on, but in any other kind of AU it does not make sense...


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 2, 2012)

I'll make up something and the readers will like it. This is non-negotiable


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

you are so cruel to your readers, how do they put up with you?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 2, 2012)

Because they know I write stuff that's more decent in grammar alone than 90% of FF's current crap. I write for me mostly, but I also write for them, the people that would like that kind of story, to be precise. It's that same 'don't like, don't read' clause. I do, however, accept feedback and see what I could change to make something more believable.

Granted, if you were to see the first few chapters of my very first fanfic, then you'd see how I've progressed.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

LOL same, but I'd say I'm at least better than 50%, some of my ideas are good just poorly executed. Don't bring up early work; it makes me cringe bad.


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## Dragon (Apr 2, 2012)

Old work: 

:rofl

English is not my first language so once I wrote:

He sitted. 

Kill me now plz


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 2, 2012)

Dragon said:


> Old work:
> 
> :rofl
> 
> ...



  But you learned better, which is a major plus.  There are native speakers who don't.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 2, 2012)

Like someone we won't mention on FF.net. 

Seriously though, you should be proud in trying to learn english. Even i have a tough time with it and it's my native tongue!


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Apr 2, 2012)

Bah, I find English to be incredibly easy as a language. It is my third one, and I am more than fluent in it. I thought Japanese was pretty hard... And then I started learning Chinese.

Chinese.

*Chinese.*


----------



## Dragon (Apr 2, 2012)

Well I was 11 after all...so yeah 

I sepak english fluently though, I always have but when it came to writing........

not sure if  or :rofl in shame


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 2, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> Bah, I find English to be incredibly easy as a language. It is my third one, and I am more than fluent in it. I thought Japanese was pretty hard... And then I started learning Chinese.
> 
> Chinese.
> 
> *Chinese.*



Oh, gods.  Chinese is all tonal and stuff.  You could so easily say something...unfortunate.

I am impressed.  English is my native language and I have a handful of Spanish from high school and a smattering of Bratanese from anime.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 2, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Oh, gods.  Chinese is all tonal and stuff.  You could so easily say something...unfortunate.
> 
> I am impressed.  English is my native language and I have a handful of Spanish from high school and a smattering of Bratanese from anime.



Spanish is my native language so any questions you can ask me


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 2, 2012)

Dragon said:


> Spanish is my native language so any questions you can ask me



Oh, I won't pretend to know the language.  About all I remember are odd words or phrases and "Luis y las uvas de la felicidad."


----------



## Dragon (Apr 2, 2012)

I'm guessing you know what it means


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 2, 2012)

Dragon said:


> I'm guessing you know what it means



Yes.    We had to memorize the story about Luis and his grapes.  I didn't understand the tradition at the time but have looked it up since.


----------



## Santí (Apr 3, 2012)

Fanfics are awful in general.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 3, 2012)

Sant? said:


> Fanfics are awful in general.


Not very constructive...


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 3, 2012)

Agreed. Please be more...whatevertomjustsaid...and note that we are actually taking this thread somewhat seriously; unlike most of them.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm actually impressed with people who write in languages that aren't their first and make every effort to learn that language.  This conversation reminds me of the time I tried to ask for help with something on a Chinese forum (I lived in China until I was eight).  Unfortunately for me, I hardly remember any written Chinese and what I wrote was not what I thought I wrote.  Friends and family still use that post as a joke.  My lesson was that if I was gonna write anything in Chinese, I had to get friends to proofread it first.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 3, 2012)

yeah, but some ppl do not do that and it just makes them look bad. I mean, why don't get someon to proofread, it is not that hard to find a willing beta.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 3, 2012)

This would be a conversation situation in which I have nothing to say. English being my native, first and only language, I can't lend any empathy. I do, however, now have a beta anyway, since I at least want to have some things analysed, rather than think an update is automatically amazing and needs no fixing.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 3, 2012)

I only know Eng and some Spanish, which has gotten worse since i had to take a break from the class since i was so high up i couldnt do anymore in hs. i was intermiedate spanissh 1 i think.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 3, 2012)

Spanish is truly a difficult language. I'm still at school and a few years back I remember my report card of fail: 

French- A
English- A
Spanish- C

orz

I stopped learning french because I wanted to have other GCSE courses but yeah, I admire those who take spanish as a second language...It's *hard*.


----------



## Raptor (Apr 4, 2012)

<< Bilingual, born in Spanish speaking country, I speak perfect English and Spanish, yay me.   With that out of the way, pet peeves:

- Spelling. 
- Relations pulled out of the ass. (love crackpairs done well.  Sadly this almost never happens.)
- Yaoi (have nothing against homosexuals, but I don't enjoy reading about it.)
- Amazing fics that have not been updated in more than a year. 
- "AU" fanfics that are just a repeat of the manga.   
- Smut without plot
- Walls of text
- Naruto changing his last name to Namikaze.  That's not who Naruto is.   Uzumaki Naruto is Uzu-fucking-maki Naruto, not Namikaze Naruto.  If you want to add it at least combine it Uzumaki-Namikaze or whatever.    It'd be like you tossing away your mother name just because of convenience.  

Way too many to list.  But those are the ones that annoy me the most.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 4, 2012)

Fuck...was working on a ff on my home comp and forgot to transfer it to my laptop. I wanted to finish it and get a beta...


----------



## FrayedThread (Apr 4, 2012)

I've always wondered how badly written fanfics (usually containing complete OOCness, Mary-sue characterization, unnecessary bashing and the like) get tons of reviews.
What baffles me even more is that the reviews are positive.
Just...what?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 4, 2012)

I don't know man. I don't know...


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 4, 2012)

FrayedThread said:


> I've always wondered how badly written fanfics (usually containing complete OOCness, Mary-sue characterization, unnecessary bashing and the like) get tons of reviews.
> What baffles me even more is that the reviews are positive.
> Just...what?


It's because the rave reviewers want a quick fix and have a lack of quality control that dwarves that of the actual writer.

People with some sense of quality control will have proper likes and dislikes, brainless sheep, on the other hand, will just take it as it is.


----------



## Rouge Angle (Apr 4, 2012)

Tomcat speaks the truth. Some people are just easily it pleased it seems.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 4, 2012)

I also think that, on a subliminal level, the reviews are written in such a fashion to mimic the level of writing. Personally, I don't actually command respect and intelligent reviews from people, but I think that they can see from my writing style that they know I'm not looking for blind fanaticism as a response.

In terms of 'herp-a-derp' fics, as I feel like calling them, the writer writes something in an 'omg look at mah skillz' fashion so that they get an 'omg I love ur skillz' response. 

Basically, stupidity begets more stupidity.

Also, I just noticed something funny and semi-facepalm worthy:

Somebody reviewed on both of my fics involving NI and lemons, but they only favourited one of them. I wasn't bothered by that, but I looked at their profile and this is what made me laugh.

They've got 40 stories favourited. All of them, and I mean _all of them_ apart from the one fic of mine which is NaruIno (technically NaruInoSaku, but I tagged the characters as Naruto and Ino), are NaruHina fics .


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 4, 2012)

I always check out the profiles of ppl who fav or alert my fics. Weeding out the weirdos. Or just so i know what ppl are into...though some profiles are weird.


----------



## Vermin (Apr 6, 2012)

One time, I made the mistake of reading a yoai fangirls profile. 

I needed a gallon of mind bleach after that.

As my homepage, I hope my fanfiction profile isn't too crazy.


----------



## Adagio (Apr 6, 2012)

What bugs me the most about Mary Sue Naruto-centric stories is how poorly executed they are, or how out of character most interactions seem to be. I was reading one particular fic where everytime Naruto would have a conversation with someone he'd ramble on about every little feat or good deed that he managed to achieve. It got so bad that during some parts other characters would have a few sentences of conversation followed by multiple paragraphs of Naruto-fapping dialogue. What


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Apr 6, 2012)

I would honestly like to see a naruto fic where he's given trap setter abilities, you know, he was once a prankster after all. why not? fits his foxy nature.

better than copying kurama from yyh.  yes they've done it. they made naruto have semi-senju powers and he could create plants... and his tails where his whips.


----------



## Adagio (Apr 7, 2012)

Just read a time travel fic where Naruto, Hinata and Kakashi go back in time to defeat Orochimaru. 

Naruto and Hinata get married. When they're 13.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 7, 2012)

That's what I call "Happily Ever Afderp"


----------



## Whirlpool (Apr 7, 2012)

Adagio said:


> Just read a time travel fic where Naruto, Hinata and Kakashi go back in time to defeat Orochimaru.
> 
> Naruto and Hinata get married. When they're 13.





Oh my god


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (Apr 7, 2012)

if naruto's folks were alive naruto would probably be spoiled like sasuke, have a problem similar to konohamaru (honorable son) hinata probably wouldnt have inspiration much less a fangirl crush ala ino/sakura, iruka would maybe not have the relationship he'd have with naruto otherwise, would he be disciplined? oh absolutely since minato's there. would minato have enough time to spend some quality time with his son? perhaps. would jiraiya remember that he's naruto's god son? yup. would naruto be a genius if he were raised properly? eeh, i don't think so. would he still be a trouble maker?


----------



## Reignwulf1029 (Apr 7, 2012)

I would say my peeve would be that in a section dedicated to writing fanfics the most active and posted on thread is about bashing on fanfics.

Oh the irony....


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 7, 2012)

It's a Your Mileage May Vary scenario, so many people have many different views to voice on the matter.

Not that many people want to create a thread for an actual fic of theirs here for some reason. They mostly prefer FF.net for that, which is understandable.

Also, this thread isn't actually for bashing on particular fanfics (most of the time, although some definitely need outing due to how horrible they are). It's for people to talk about what specific things annoy them.


----------



## AngstToThePeople (Apr 8, 2012)

Reignwulf1029 said:


> I would say my peeve would be that in a section dedicated to writing fanfics the most active and posted on thread is about bashing on fanfics.
> 
> Oh the irony....



I detect butthurt behind your "wit".

A section dedicated to creativity has promised no one that it will be infinitely lenient and accepting of horrible creations, bad Mary Sues and ridiculous high school AUs. We are not bashing the activity of writing fanfics; we are merely expressing our disdain at bad fiction.

In a sense, we are working towards the improvement of fiction quality.

Don't like it? No1curr.


----------



## Adagio (Apr 8, 2012)

AngstToThePeople said:


> In a sense, we are working towards the improvement of fiction quality.
> 
> Don't like it? No1curr.



This should appear as a warning message in most review/critique sections so that authors are warned if their writing tends to incite nasty reviews.


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## Dragon (Apr 8, 2012)

As an author, one should be open to whatever the people have to say, as long as it is constructive, well thought critisism. If you don't like it, then why the hell post it eitherways?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 8, 2012)

^ That

Once you've opened something up for viewing, nobody is bound by a wordless obligation to give feedback that only suits your tastes. If you let anybody read your fic, you can get any kind of response. Thus the only thing to say after that is: 'Deal with it'.

And since all of your created threads are solely in this Fanfiction area, Reign, I can safely say that, in agreement with ATTP, that you seem hurt in the butt. Also, your grammar and punctuation need fixing from what I've seen on your 'Reviving Mokuton' fic.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 9, 2012)

If you want good critisism, write good things. Thats about it.

Of course, it's easier said than done but that's just how it works


----------



## hannah (Apr 9, 2012)

I agree with most things I read here. But one thing I'm absolutely allergic to is when I go over the fanfic with my eyes superficially and one of the Naruto characters suddenly takes a cellphone, sits in a car, leaves for school or god forbid, draws a wand. 

If it's not in Narutoverse the way Kishimoto made it, I'm just too annoyed by it to read.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 9, 2012)

Well, I guess that's the reason it is labeled (or should be labeled) as an AU fic 

I personally read anything that is well writen (as long as it is not TOO long or has a pairing that I overly dislike) so yeah.


----------



## Reignwulf1029 (Apr 9, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> ^ That
> 
> Once you've opened something up for viewing, nobody is bound by a wordless obligation to give feedback that only suits your tastes. If you let anybody read your fic, you can get any kind of response. Thus the only thing to say after that is: 'Deal with it'.
> 
> And since all of your created threads are solely in this Fanfiction area, Reign, I can safely say that, in agreement with ATTP, that you seem hurt in the butt. Also, your grammar and punctuation need fixing from what I've seen on your 'Reviving Mokuton' fic.



As a writer you have to be open to examination and judgement. I agree that with all my fanfics i should check them for grammar and spelling if i wanted it to be viewed solely as a professional piece. I usually don't because one 1) conversational pieces don't usually follow proper grammar rules and this is seen in how people generally speak with one another. In other cases of {mispeling} thats just me being {to} lazy, as going pro on a hobby kinda defeats the fun of it for me. In terms of my post being solely in the fanfic section i try to expand on the world Kishi presents while trying to remain authentic to the source material as oppose to speculating and debating in the other forums which is more time consuming.

Sidenote: what age group and region are you all from i live in New York City and i don't hear the youth use this whole "butthurt" reference even when they text. This is not a joke i'm honestly asking because i would like to incorporate it into a sociology/linguistics lecture i'm working on  "The Internet and Its Impact on Language"


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 10, 2012)

Reignwulf1029 said:


> I agree that with all my fanfics I should check them for grammar and spelling if i wanted it to be viewed solely as a professional piece. I usually don't because 1) conversational pieces don't usually follow proper grammar rules and this is seen in how people generally speak with one another. In other cases of {mispeling} thats just me being {to} lazy, as going pro on a hobby kinda defeats the fun of it for me.


This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read.

The kind of writing you and I do is a creative hobby, done in our leisure time, but it is also a _passion_, something that we invest ourselves in to the extent that we wish to show our creative potential to people other than ourselves. It shows you are personally invested in your ideas enough that you believe people on a wider scale will enjoy reading them. It may not be at the professional level, but it is EXACTLY the same principle: you are still opening your work for public viewing and enjoyment.

So only current and aspiring novelists are allowed to try their best when it comes to writing, is that what you're saying? I sure as hell have no intention of going into the writing industry, but I know that I love writing enough to make it damn well as good as I possibly can.

When you say, 'oh, since I'm not being paid, I don't have to try as hard', you simply strike me as someone who does not respect themselves or their own ability, nor respects their audience. If readers find out you weren't trying your best when you made something, then your feedback will be meaningless and hollow, as they will simply see that you never gave a damn.

"Conversational pieces don't usually follow proper grammar rules..."? Er...yes, they usually do. Your point only applies when grammar is effectively stapled to characterisation. If you have a character that speaks normally, then you would write their dialogue in the fashion I am now. If they have a speech quirk, or an accent or form of mannerism that affects how their speech would sound in general, then you would write it down, using your own interpretation of phonetics to spell the offending words, to put that hint across to the reader; however, it would still be grammatically accurate. If no characters have a different means of speaking compared to one another, then the grammar rules are applicable to all of them.

Not to mention that entire first section of your argument contradicts what followed:


> ...I try to expand on the world Kishi presents while trying to remain authentic to the source material...



You say you are trying to add expansion to a universe featured in a _full-length and professional product_, thus your presentation should try to reflect that template product to the best of its ability. But oh, wait:


> ...I should check them for grammar and spelling if i wanted it to be viewed solely as a professional piece...


So...you are actively trying to fill in as-of-yet non-ventured parts of a professional-release manga, but you have already stated that do not wish to write to the same quality of it? Explain this to me. How does that help your case?

Actually, don't bother, I've gone off topic far enough, but I will finish by answering your other question.

What I will add though, is that I'm fully aware that there are many exceptions where people try, and I mean _really_ try when it comes to putting effort into their works, but their quality is still off. 

Nobody is perfect, I am fully aware of this as well, but in a fight between an author who doesn't give it their all when they could have written something great and an author who tried their utmost hardest but couldn't make something as amazing, I will always root for the latter.



> Sidenote: what age group and region are you all from i live in New York City and i don't hear the youth use this whole "butthurt" reference even when they text. This is not a joke i'm honestly asking because i would like to incorporate it into a sociology/linguistics lecture i'm working on  "The Internet and Its Impact on Language"


My age and location have nothing to do with it, since the phrase is an internet creation not often used in the outside world, much like many modern acronyms. It is a common phrase that alludes to the common internet retort regarding a user's (real or non-existent) homosexuality. It would imply that the 'victim' in an internet argument feels angered at having been overpowered, much like they were the 'one-on-the-bottom' in a homosexual relationship, and thus it has relation to the term 'you've been fucked'.

On the non-subliminal side, it's basically a 'ghetto' way of saying 'you're obviously unhappy because some person or persons actions or words have affected you on a personal level somehow'.

In reference to your first post, we came to that conclusion with you because you were saying how, despite the fact you post your works here to show your creativity, the most active thread is a thread that talks about nothing but bad things. This may have affected you because you wish that attention of those who browse this sub-section was put more toward your own stories. Thus, it may also be akin to jealousy.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 10, 2012)

Ooohhh, he just got owned.


----------



## lacey (Apr 10, 2012)

I was going to say something, but Tomcat covered it pretty well for me.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

@ Tomcat: :WOW 

@wulf: dude...I believe you're trolling us so if that's the case, gtfo. If not, please reffer to Tomcat's argument, it pretty much invalidates any argument you have/had


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 11, 2012)

Aaaand back on topic, please.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

Ok then 

Another pairingfic petpeeves of mine would be when the relationship is developing beautifuly (not to fast, not to slow) and sudenly they kiss and then have sex out of the blue...

I don't know but it kind of ruins everything for me.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

I honestly have not seen that happen. then again, I do writing than reading these days.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

I read one incredibly good KakuHida fanfiction where their relationship developed incredibly well and suddenly they had sex O.O

I almost kicked my laptop.


----------



## BlazingCobaltX (Apr 11, 2012)

I really hate that.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

Same. They should at least talk about it first, every few chapters, and then later aybe like ten chapter later they do it. I dunno though...


----------



## hyena611 (Apr 11, 2012)

Yeah, what's also really stupid: Character A is sad, Character B finds A somewhere, asks what's wrong, listens, looks into A's eyes, A looks surprised, Character B kisses and then has sex with A.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

What frustrated me more was that it _wasn't_ like that. It was going on beautifully and then bam, fail.


----------



## Vermin (Apr 11, 2012)

I never understood why in a lot of fanfictions, sex is a MUST to sustain a healthy relationship. 

It's like as soon as they meet, they have sex a few chapters l8ter.

I mean damn, stop turing the characters into sex machines!


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

I don't know, but if you're over 18 (usually the fanfics with sex in it are of people over 18) and you have a partner you are both romantically and sexually atracted to, why not? As long that the story is not about fucking like godamm rabitts, I reckon its ok.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

same, and you have to think that they'd do it eventually.


----------



## hyena611 (Apr 11, 2012)

Dragon said:


> I don't know, but if you're over 18 (usually the fanfics with sex in it are of people over 18) and you have a partner you are both romantically and sexually atracted to, why not? .


As long as it's not rushed.


----------



## Spock (Apr 11, 2012)

Zoroark said:


> I never understood why in a lot of fanfictions, sex is a MUST to sustain a healthy relationship.
> 
> It's like as soon as they meet, they have sex a few chapters l8ter.
> 
> I mean damn, stop turing the characters into sex machines!



Agreed, its weird, they dont give much insight on how these characters reached that level of intimacy. It makes the fic awkward.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

It takes out the realism and 'hotness' of the moment. It simply ruins it. I feel like flamethrowing a kitten


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

Maybe we should stop  expecting so much from stories written by 13 year olds? :rofl


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

Older people should write fanfiction. Good fanfiction. It would make me so happy it's sad. I have no life


----------



## Arial (Apr 11, 2012)

Dragon said:


> Older people should write fanfiction. Good fanfiction. It would make me so happy it's sad. I have no life



I've seen people in their twenties write bad fanfiction too. The way some of those stories read, you'd think they were written by a 12 year-old


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

You beat me to it. damn. :rofl


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

That's even more...I don't even... 

but that's why I specified and put good fanfiction


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

you do know about sturgeon's law dont you?


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

Enlighten me


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

so true. so very true.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

Everything is shit until proven otherwise

Made my day :rofl

That's actually quite accurate


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

I know right?


----------



## Dragon (Apr 11, 2012)

Still, so negative :rofl

I just wish I find a 'slice of heavenly cheesecake' in the 'hell' that ff.net is. I just want to read a GOOD effin KakuHida fanfic for the love of christ :WOW


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 11, 2012)

About the age thing. Isn't wilkins75, like, in his late twenties or something? I'm sure I've seen author notes from him or seen in his bio that he's older than me.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 11, 2012)

I don't know, but let's not go there.


----------



## Arial (Apr 11, 2012)

Speaking of age, why do people write about 13 year olds having sex with grown adults?  Then when it becomes public everyone is alright with it? Just no.


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 12, 2012)

Arial said:


> Speaking of age, why do people write about 13 year olds having sex with grown adults?  Then when it becomes public everyone is alright with it? Just no.



I don't read those.  Too squicky for me.


----------



## BellatrixLestrange (Apr 12, 2012)

I remember that high school fics are commonly listed in this thread.  I'm about to make an exception to the rule.  There is one good fic that features the Naruto cast as high school students that I enjoyed.  I can't remember much but the author kept the whole ninja thing.  In that story, the characters attended school because education was mandatory for minors and went on ninja missions after school as if being ninjas was a sort of a part time job.  I would say it made more sense for me than even the canon.

as for the pedo, just no.  no. no. no.  No pedophilia for me please.  That's just disturbing.  Not til the younger character reaches the legal age of consent.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 12, 2012)

^  What if one has 20 and the other 17? Would you consider that pedophilia?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

Hmm...since it's close neough and in some states/countries is legal it wouldn't bohter me as much. but anything from 12-16 is just ew no.


----------



## Adagio (Apr 12, 2012)

16 and above is okay for me, as long as the other person involved isn't like 20+.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 12, 2012)

It's quite subjective considering the age of consent in different areas, so the author probably finds themselves bound by their local laws. For instance, 16 is legal here in the UK, thus I personally wouldn't have a problem writing something as such. But I would, as per Adagio's point, have a problem if it were someone over 20 and a 16-year-old.

So with that, I've kept any ages involving that to 18 minimum.


----------



## Whirlpool (Apr 12, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> It's quite subjective considering the age of consent in different areas, so the author probably finds themselves bound by their local laws. For instance, 16 is legal here in the UK, thus I personally wouldn't have a problem writing something as such. But I would, as per Adagio's point, have a problem if it were someone over 20 and a 16-year-old.
> 
> So with that, I've kept any ages involving that to 18 minimum.





Adagio said:


> 16 and above is okay for me, as long as the other person involved isn't like 20+.





Itachifan727 said:


> Hmm...since it's close neough and in some states/countries is legal it wouldn't bohter me as much. but anything from 12-16 is just ew no.





Dragon said:


> ^  What if one has 20 and the other 17? Would you consider that pedophilia?





BellatrixLestrange said:


> I remember that high school fics are commonly listed in this thread.  I'm about to make an exception to the rule.  There is one good fic that features the Naruto cast as high school students that I enjoyed.  I can't remember much but the author kept the whole ninja thing.  In that story, the characters attended school because education was mandatory for minors and went on ninja missions after school as if being ninjas was a sort of a part time job.  I would say it made more sense for me than even the canon.
> 
> as for the pedo, just no.  no. no. no.  No pedophilia for me please.  That's just disturbing.  Not til the younger character reaches the legal age of consent.



Old enough to kill, old enough to drink and fuck


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 12, 2012)

Didn't we say somewhere that that was a crap excuse in a fanfic?


----------



## Whirlpool (Apr 12, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Didn't we say somewhere that that was a crap excuse in a fanfic?



...

For me, everything was tl;dr 

But yeah, it's a pretty lame excuse


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

hate it when ppl use that as an excuse...


----------



## Dragon (Apr 12, 2012)

However, I think it's an interesting poing 

Well I don't know, haven't read a lot of underage sex stories so yeah


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

dont, your pure mind will be tainted by the icky ick.  shota and loli wtf? Though gothic lolis are cute in the dresses in a way..


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 12, 2012)

You know, for once I thought I was about read a decent fic of Naruto and Samui.

I should have fucking known better. Here are my favourite quotes of this new fic:



> Inazuma was the God of Lightning, he came down to earth to start a mortal life but found it very troublesome. Before he ascended back into the heavens he had started a new lineage with his Kekkei Genkai. Minato Namikaze's great, great Grandfather was Inazuma but Inazuma didn't tell any of his children about their hidden Kekkei Genkai because he just couldn't be bothered.


Just so you know, that was the _very start_ of the fic. 



> 'Heh he's going to go! And as he leaves, I'll get my whole ROOT Squad to extract the Nine tails and then, Akatsuki will grant me the Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan. HAHAHAHAH!' Danzō smirked.


Danzo had been made incredibly OOC in this fic, by the way.



> "Huh! Who are you?" Naruto asked kindly.
> 
> "That's none of your business!" Samui replied dangerously.
> 
> ...


I...he...just...shoot me now 

And my personal ultimate favourite:


> "Danzō-sama the Hokage's office is still in the same condition as it was when you weren't secretly elected Hokage!" Another ROOT ninja alerted.


What in the name of....

That isn't even all of the first chapter. Jiraiya is also OOC and seems to hate Naruto for just about no reason.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

what the hell did i just read?  I swear to god....

Is the genre humor/parody, if not...


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 12, 2012)

Genre tags for this POS are Adventure and Hurt/Comfort

I won't link it because I'd prefer not to indirectly kill the other people who visit and post here.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

son of a bitch, I thought it was a troll fic. (hopefully)


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 12, 2012)

And a small part of their A/N said: "...whatever it is just review, but in a nice way! "

In other words, it's one of those 'NO FLAMES OR CRITICISM OR I'M GONNA CRY' requests...


----------



## Dragon (Apr 12, 2012)

:WOW

It's so much fail, it's amazing. 

Hey, another pet peeves. When it is obvious that the author has planned out an awesome plot with in character characters and the pairing flows smoothly but they don't/can't write proper english so you cringe everytime you look at a very obvious mistake. Still, I would actually review a story like that because it is noted the amount of effort that the writer put on the story, it's just that they can't speak english very well.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

you gotta love it when ppl do that  makes me wanna troll em even more.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 12, 2012)

Even though I, too, cringe at the grammar situation, I still respect the author for putting their all into it.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 12, 2012)

It's more of a pet peeves for me because it frustrates me to no end. I mean, people like that (that actualy give shit for their readers/stories) can't speak propper english, and some people that are born into english speaking countries do not care to use the spellcheck


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

wait i was talking about the narusamui fic that tom posted...that said plz no flaming. lol.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 12, 2012)

Ok 

You confused me there for a moment 

I want to troll them all day all night as well


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 12, 2012)

i need to learn to use the quote button but quick posting is so eassy.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 13, 2012)

I don't flame review, but I can definitely run something into the ground with the right use of grammar


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 13, 2012)

lol I know. I've seen you make ppl cry.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 13, 2012)

When? I'm not that bad 

At least not anymore, hopefully, I know some previous things I said were little too far (takes into account the bastards deserved it anyway).


----------



## Dragon (Apr 13, 2012)

Sometimes harsh (well writen) words are needed to make somebody realise they're wrong


----------



## Rouge Angle (Apr 13, 2012)

Hmm, well there's being a harsh critic, then there's using the anonymity of the internet to be an arsehole. I'm not saying badfic writers should be coddled, but you can critique and not be a jerk about it.

If they post it on the internet, yes they should be prepared for criticism, but for constructive criticism you should always try to find at least one good thing to say too. It's the carrot and stick approach (only with less carrot).

However given the...extremely poor quality of some fanfics out there, this can be a really hard thing to do because sometimes there isn't _anything_ good about it. These days I tend not to bother leaving critique unless the author has specifically expressed that they want to improve and would welcome criticism.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 14, 2012)

For the general abominations like the one I demonstrated, the only compliment I try to give is that they've got generally decent grammatical skills and that they're trying to bring attention to a niche pairing.

Yeah, that's usually the best I can give before I can no longer hold the facade that I ever enjoyed it


----------



## Vermin (Apr 20, 2012)

If a person doesn't want to face criticism, don't post your fanfiction on a public site.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 21, 2012)

you just hi the nail head on.


----------



## Kunoichiwa (Apr 21, 2012)

I can understand an author saying "It's yaoi, if you don't like don't read" because there are people who would flame a story just because they dislike yaoi. Same can be said for any pairing really. If you're a hardcore NaruSaku shipper don't read NaruHina fanfics just to complain about how "the couple sucks". The reverse is obviously true when it comes to NaruHina fans and NaruSaku fanfics.

If an author tries saying "don't say anything bad about my fanfic for any reason" that's when they're being annoying and should realize that if they ignore criticism they won't get better.


----------



## Dragon (Apr 21, 2012)

It's dumb to read things you don't like in the first place


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

My all-encompassing hatred of people who write out breathing without onomatopoeia is coming to a peak.

The amount of times I see the word 'sigh' written inside speech marks, as if it's physically spoken by the character, is becoming more than I can bear.

An example I just read:


> '...Sigh, another beating to add to the list...fractured ribs...broken arms...cuts and gashes...Huh, not as bad this year', he mused...



My God...

Just say 'They sighed' outside of the speech marks instead! Jesus...


----------



## Rouge Angle (Apr 22, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> My all-encompassing hatred of people who write out breathing without onomatopoeia is coming to a peak.
> 
> The amount of times I see the word 'sigh' written inside speech marks, as if it's physically spoken by the character, is becoming more than I can bear.
> 
> ...



 Who in real life actually says "sigh"?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 22, 2012)

Ugh...looks like another one of those Naruto was beaten by a mob fics too...


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 22, 2012)

Rouge Angle said:


> Who in real life actually says "sigh"?



Drama queens who want to make sure you understand that they're sighing and that you must do something about it.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

Someone obsessed with their onomatopoeia


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 22, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Drama queens who want to make sure you understand that they're sighing and that you must do something about it.



Are you serious? They do not...:hopefully.

How the hell are you ppl posting so fast?


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

Because we're bawses


----------



## Rouge Angle (Apr 22, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> Drama queens who want to make sure you understand that they're sighing and that you must do something about it.


Oh well there is that. :ho Most drama queens I know just sigh really exaggeratedly.





Itachifan727 said:


> How the hell are you ppl posting so fast?


I have fingers like lightning. Don't even have to really look at the keys.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 22, 2012)

Yeah but it was just lulzy since i posted and then tom posted like a sec later.


----------



## Vermin (Apr 22, 2012)




----------



## FrayedThread (Apr 22, 2012)

My peeve at the moment is that I cannot find any good FF's to my taste 

I have come accross the sighing thing too, I don't know why you would even put it like that in the first place.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

Zoroark said:


>


So he took a challenge, and changed it to suit his tastes. That's amazing 

"I'm sorry Naruto-san/kun..."? Wow...


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 22, 2012)

Zoroark said:


>



You make me cry.  

Run-on sentences, messing with ages, OOC and lacking punctuation.  All in the 3 paragraphs I managed to read before closing it with a shudder.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

I think this entire thread should come with a health warning and a recommendation to not enter until possessing brain bleach


----------



## Vermin (Apr 22, 2012)

I try not to be picky, but...

If only we could modify the OP....

But from now on, I will spoiler tag, and place the appropriate warnings.


----------



## TekJounin (Apr 22, 2012)

Zoroark said:


> I try not to be picky, but...
> 
> If only we could modify the OP....
> 
> But from now on, I will spoiler tag, and place the appropriate warnings.



The OP of this thread?  I can do that.  What did you have in mind?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 22, 2012)

modifying ages doesn't bother me; I've tried doing it for my own fics, that or used time travel so i wouldn't have to. Luckily you won't have to read those pieces of shit as I've gotten rid of them...wait, some of them are in this section!  :Argh 

Still, is this an omentopmetpa...whatever the hell it's called?  I want to know so i can edit it out/ know for future reference.



> I sigh, cupping one of my hands on my chin, something shiny catching my eye





> I dashed over to the open windowsill and vaulted over the edge, deftly landing on the metal with a small thunk.


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

"Warning: This thread will occasionally publish links to fan fictions that will melt you like those dudes at the end of Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark."


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 22, 2012)

Indiana Jones... do not remind me of the fifth movie :disgruntled


----------



## Tomcat171 (Apr 22, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Still, is this an omentopmetpa...whatever the hell it's called?  I want to know so i can edit it out/ know for future reference.


There was nothing wrong with what you put.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 22, 2012)

Okay. I knew i heard the word before...I feel like I'm 80! 

Fuck it; I'm putting my fic here so we can all go over it. Looking for a beta is a pain in the ass...and I want to flesh out my ideas by talking with you guys in here...I want this to be awesomesauce level.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 23, 2012)

posted a mediafire link lol.


----------



## Dejablue (Apr 24, 2012)

Edit:  actually nvm i'll make it a thread.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 24, 2012)

So no one wants to help? Damn, figured if i made it like a thing this thread wouldsn't die so easily...I'll find someone on Ff.net..does anyone know of any reputable betas?


----------



## Sera (Apr 25, 2012)

One of my biggest pet peeves is incorrect grammar/spelling.


----------



## Raptor (Apr 26, 2012)

It's hard to find a beta reader and even harder to keep one, just be patient.  

Another pet peeve: Naruto x any crossover.  Every time I see one I feel like killing a kitty.


----------



## lacey (Apr 26, 2012)

Makes me wonder if anyone remembers that NarutoxKingdom Hearts crossover that turned into a rather horrible Yaoi-fest between Naruto and Sora.

I tried nominating that as one of the worst crossovers during a convention, but it was shot down simply because "lol Kingdom Hearts, you travel to other worlds to begin with so it's feasible." Too bad I didn't have the heart to tell them what actually happened in the story.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 26, 2012)

AGH, no way. I don't mind crossovers since they can make sense if done well, like a ninja/samurai series with naruto and jutsu gives you possibilities but some of them are just....bad. I have one that is a slight Okami crossover, but only because Naruto summons Chibiterasu as a summon with Kyuubi chakra and he was raised with Kakashi who gave him a contract with his ninja dogs. So it kinda makes sense,  and I'm trying ot slowly put JPN demons in the fic, along with some mythos and kami and shingami and blech. It's going okay.


----------



## Adagio (Apr 27, 2012)

I've seen way too many Bleach/Harry Potter x Naruto crossovers with a focus on yaoi to take crossovers in general too seriously. 

The concept of a Bleach x Naruto crossover is interesting though, not just Bleach, but any other series with a strong focus on sword fighting. For a series based on ninja there is a painful lack of swords and swords are awesome


----------



## Raptor (Apr 27, 2012)

A crossover by nature does not really make sense in my opinion.  Every series is a story on it's own, attempting to mix them up...  normally it does not work or ends up creating a silly story for example... Naruto x Harry Potter.  ugh...  I guess it's just not my cup of tea. 

Other one I despise is when a pairing shows up out of nowhere.  Like Naruhina where they start loving each other out of nowhere.   When things are done properly it's good stuff.  Crackpairings specially heh.


----------



## Sera (Apr 27, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> Makes me wonder if anyone remembers that NarutoxKingdom Hearts crossover that turned into a rather horrible Yaoi-fest between Naruto and Sora.
> 
> I tried nominating that as one of the worst crossovers during a convention, but it was shot down simply because "lol Kingdom Hearts, you travel to other worlds to begin with so it's feasible." Too bad I didn't have the heart to tell them what actually happened in the story.



Naruto x Sora?


----------



## Adagio (Apr 30, 2012)

I bet there's one with some weird square-like dynamic: Naruto x Riku x Sora x Sasuke.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 30, 2012)

oh god, please no. That sounds awful...


----------



## Adagio (Apr 30, 2012)

Oh good, another Naruhina fanfic where they confess their pure love to each other on the first day of Naruto's return after the timeskip. 

Another one bites the dust.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (Apr 30, 2012)

I bet I could write a better NaruHin than that, and I'm usually neutral on pairings. IT doesn't bother me if it goes either; except for NaruSasu  Getting sick of that.


----------



## Dragon (May 1, 2012)

Hey guys, about cross over, what would you think of a x-over of Samurai Champloo and Naruto?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 1, 2012)

Been wanting to do that; trying to with my latest fic, kinda. It's like Champlooish, kinda steampunk/guns/samurai/gangs/ninjas/yakuza etc.


----------



## Dragon (May 1, 2012)

After reading so much Gantz, Samurai Champloo has been oddly  childish (in a VERY good, refreshing way)  

I like them both though  

I would like to read a good Samurai Champloo fanfic (even though I haven't searched yet)


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 1, 2012)

*Scrolling through the latest fics*

'Ooh, a new fic tagged with Naruto and Samui.'

*Reads description*

'Oh no, please don't be another one of _those_.'

*Reads first chapter*

'Fuck, I got my hopes up again for no reason.'



One of those 'Naruto leaves the village' fics again (he actually meets up with Sasuke outside the village...). Rinnegan Naruto (SMH), description states godlikeness, Sakura bashing from the off, kind Kyuubi, Naruto immediately finds out about parents...

Grammar and spelling is...okay, has issues, but it's better than some of the others I've seen. I can't wait for the day that I write a fic in this category and show everyone else how it's done.


----------



## Marik Swift (May 1, 2012)

I mainly hate OOC fics. Shit like Naruto suddenly falling in love with Sasuke or something.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 1, 2012)

Honestly would not mind a femNaruSasu or vice versa. Thing with yaoi is, is that Naruto is straight or mostly straight lol. It would make for a better dynamic in the manga too, i think and a hell of lot more sense.

how the fuck does that 47 reviews? How? *kills self*


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 2, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> how the fuck does that have 47 reviews? How? *kills self*


Because they're the reviewers who don't have standards; they just seem to enjoy everything like sheep.


----------



## CopyNinja93 (May 2, 2012)

My biggest Pet Peeve (which is more about the fandom really) is reading a really good story that is grammatically correct, no spelling mistakes and is generally well written but only has about 30 reviews. Then you see a horrible pairing story that makes you want to stab your eyes out with over 100 reviews, all from fans of the pairing saying "Yes, Naruto shud be wiv Sakura, Hinata's a bitch... Dis is the best stry evaaa!" 

Or, you know what Tomcat said in the last post. Too many reviewers have no standards and will like anything that supports their opinions.


----------



## Adagio (May 2, 2012)

Dragon said:


> Hey guys, about cross over, what would you think of a x-over of Samurai Champloo and Naruto?





Itachifan727 said:


> Been wanting to do that; trying to with my latest fic, kinda. It's like Champlooish, kinda steampunk/guns/samurai/gangs/ninjas/yakuza etc.



Both these posts intrigue me. 


I've said it before and I will say it again, any samurai series seems to be the most compatible for a cross-over with Naruto compared to series of other genres. 

I have only recently been involved with the prospect of actually writing fanfiction, I have mostly just read them for enjoyment. The fact that I am taking a lot of time to actually formulate a proper plot for my idea is because I just hate OOC-ness with a passion as I see it way too much in "X overpowered Naruto fic". There are a lot of fics there with good, solid ideas but the bad characterisation and plot development just overshadows any good quality that I could find in the first place.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (May 4, 2012)

"hashirama and tobirama are sent to the future in the current timeline"

ooo~ that sounds like a good id-

"yaoi, dont like dont read"

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!~~~~


----------



## Adagio (May 4, 2012)

i*c*st yaoi. Now that is definitely something.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 4, 2012)

That [post...FUUUU~

what is with the i*c*st?


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 4, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> what is with the i*c*st?


*Won't give my opinion, since I'm part of the NaruKushi FC* 

However, I do keep i*c*st out of my own works. Read, yes. Write, no.


----------



## Adagio (May 4, 2012)

The only i*c*st I could put up with is NaruKari and even then, does that really count?


----------



## Dragon (May 4, 2012)

I don't mind i*c*st, as long as it is something I ship (Imagine Sarutobi x Asuma :rofl)


----------



## Whirlpool (May 5, 2012)

NaruKushi is teh best.

NaruIno afterwards.

NaruTema afterwards.

NaruAyame aftewards.

Opinion ofcourse


----------



## Dragon (May 5, 2012)

NaruKushi? Never thought about it


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (May 5, 2012)

im upset cuz it sounded like a fun idea having hashi and tobirama time warping to naruto's current timeline, but it ruins it with yaoi. . WHY? more views of course. yaoi fans/readers will eat that up.


----------



## Dragon (May 5, 2012)

but blood, even if you don't enjoy yaoi, you could skip the sexy parts and continue with the plot (or is it all yaoi-oriented?)


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 5, 2012)

and OOC yaoi, duh. would not surprise me; most fics are.


----------



## Nemo (May 6, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> and OOC yaoi, duh. would not surprise me; most fics are.



How could yaoi not be "OOC"? Naruto is a very heterocentric series.

(Except for Kotetsu and Izumo. They're so obviously gay lovers. )


----------



## TekJounin (May 6, 2012)

They don't want people to think that:


----------



## Raptor (May 7, 2012)

^ in the case of Naruto you can choose what pairing you want to search for.  Is not 100% accurate but it certainly helps.


----------



## Adagio (May 7, 2012)

FF.net is a nice place and all but I wish they'd refine their search options. Its annoying.


----------



## axellover2 (May 7, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I suppose that yaoi is OK for the folks who like it but I wish FF.net had a selection for sexuality when searching.  I do get a bit miffed to be reading along and get smacked with gender-pairing that I wasn't warned about.



This. Sometimes I will reading a  pretty good story with no defined genre or secondary character, and then get hit with a yaoi pairing out of nowhere. I have nothing against it, but the naruto section is just overflowing with them.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 7, 2012)

it cause NarSas is canon!   Deal wit it.

But lol i know what you mean; I love friendship fics but when it pushes those boundaries and goes into yaoi, its bleck!


----------



## FrayedThread (May 7, 2012)

Does anyone else get the problem that when you're reading AU fics, it just gradually (sometimes right a the start) starts to appear like they're not even the same characters?
I know that changes are quite unavoidable in AU but the changes seem too much sometimes...


----------



## Hero of Shadows (May 7, 2012)

Hey it's a cross over between Naruto and this other thing I like, I wonder what interraction I will read about >> Only Naruto gets to go into the other universe everybody else is left behind
Characters from another Universe instantaniously begin to shower some characters with praise and despise others
Authors inventing abuse suffered by Naruto beyond what we've seen I mean ANBU beatings etc
This is a romance fic but I need a villain hey I know one of the rookies & co is now a stalker/rapist
It's especially jarring how Sasuke goes from asexaulity to raping girls to revive his clan
The author putting all her ships in the fic yes I know it's NarusSaku for example I came for that if you mention SasuIno,KibaHina etc it better be damn important to the fic, which they're not 99% of the time
Teacher/Student relationships


----------



## Spock (May 7, 2012)

I hate when you have an "opposite attracts fic" and all they do is fight and fuck .


----------



## FrayedThread (May 7, 2012)

I literally just read a fic where it briefly described the scene then said:
"And then they had sex."
 I just laughed then closed the tab


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 7, 2012)

Oh goof lord HoS that sounds like shit.


----------



## Dragon (May 7, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> They don't want people to think that:


----------



## Hero of Shadows (May 8, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Oh goof lord HoS that sounds like shit.



Well I wouldn't say I am a very patient man, but most of those got on the list for being repeat offenders ruining many a fic 

If we're talking about changes we'd make to FF.net I'd want a move from a filter based system to a tag based system, with lots of buttons so you don't need to remember a lof tof tags.

For example if I go to the Naruto part there would be a pop down list for tags and I choose Shino and romance the old way.

Which would look like tags: Shino_Aburame romance

But if I want to enter in more criteria especially things to avoid  and enter more stuff by hand, for example:

Which would look like tags: Shino_Aburame romance -yaoi -Sakura_Haruno -tragedy.


----------



## bloodplzkthxlol (May 8, 2012)

*searches hashirama senju in the character A tab, sees tons of pages where madara is character B with the genre romance*

ok lets be moar specific

*enters the genre "adventure", only 1 page*


----------



## FrayedThread (May 8, 2012)

I find unrealistic smut to quite lulzy.


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 8, 2012)

Like what, autonomic-ally impossible sex?  TVTropes page is just...:rofl


----------



## FrayedThread (May 8, 2012)

Iv'e read that page 
Hilarious stuff


----------



## TekJounin (May 8, 2012)

Anatomically questionable sex, sex outta no where, sex in an otherwise action adventure, sex between 2 people that can't even be made compatible via storyline...

They say that sex sells but sometimes a story is better for not going there.  If it feels like it was shoe-horned in just so there is lemon, it probably shouldn't be there.


----------



## FrayedThread (May 8, 2012)

Never had the problem of such random sex scenes popping out of nowhere thankfully.
Usually when I go to read something I'm either expecting something like that or I know it's not that type of story.


----------



## Adagio (May 8, 2012)

Filters search on FF.net for Naruto/Kushina fics hoping to find a nice heartwarming Mother/son story. 

"Naruto in the World of Kunoichi". Surely it can't...

tagged with - multiple wives, i*c*st, Hinata Bashing, etc.

never mind


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 8, 2012)

Adagio said:


> Filters search on FF.net for Naruto/Kushina fics hoping to find a nice heartwarming Mother/son story.
> 
> "Naruto in the World of Kunoichi". Surely it can't...
> 
> ...


I found _one_ of those which wasn't so bad. The only problem (subjective) was that it was tagged as Naruto & Hinata, but it did play out the mother-son relationship relatively well. It was over 100 chapters, I believe.

But yeah, it's mostly the i*c*st...


----------



## Raptor (May 8, 2012)

E-cookies to anybody who can point me to a couple of good crackpair fics.  Naruino or NaruSamui prefered.   I'm bored the hell out of my mind


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 8, 2012)

Raptor said:


> E-cookies to anybody who can point me to a couple of good crackpair fics.  Naruino or NaruSamui prefered.   I'm bored the hell out of my mind


You've read my 'She Made Him Wait'...

But aside from that...bleh...

NaruSamu has still yet to produce something worthy of my full praise...which is why I plan to write it myself. And there are a few NaruInos I like...but it's 2:30 in the morning here and I'm nearly dead as it is...


----------



## Raptor (May 8, 2012)

And I'll read it when it gets out if it happens before the second coming of Christ   the problem is what to do in the meantime. 

Here's a small gem for those who like crackpairing or something similar.  .


----------



## axellover2 (May 9, 2012)

FrayedThread said:


> I literally just read a fic where it briefly described the scene then said:
> "And then they had sex."
> I just laughed then closed the tab



At least it saved you the trouble  of reading a badly written sex scene.


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 9, 2012)

Raptor said:


> And I'll read it when it gets out if it happens before the second coming of Christ   the problem is what to do in the meantime.


Sorry about that, Uni killed me. And I'm in the middle of writing the update to my Black Lagoon fic as I type this


----------



## Raptor (May 10, 2012)

Hey I'm not blaming you so don't take it seriously.  Like I said before, I work and study full time besides taking care of my family (no kids yet, thank god) so I know how it is. 

Although if you were to write a few lines every day it may be better than to try to do it all at once


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 10, 2012)

I'm not saying you're blaming me, far from it, but I really feel like I let people down with such far-between updates. It actually frustrates me just as much as it does those awaiting them.

And I keep telling myself to try the 'write a paragraph or two a day' mantra, but I get so easily distracted unless I have no other windows (including internet) open except my word document. I've started talking and playing online a lot more with my Ace Combat clan, I've got a YouTube channel that I love to make content for, and little other things as well. Maybe constantly watching Top Gear and AVGN clips aren't really helping either


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## Kakashifan727 (May 10, 2012)

I know dat feeling. Been playing Odin Sphere, DMC3, and DA: O too much lol. That and I'm relaxing from finals and then I gave to go back for a summer course. :Argh


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## TekJounin (May 10, 2012)

On topic, fellow babies.


----------



## Vermin (May 10, 2012)

I was looking forward to some nice fanfictions to take my mind off of finals and all, but somehow, I stumbled upon these pieces of crap. At least they provide a good chuckle. 



Virgin eyes, derail this link!


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## Adagio (May 11, 2012)

What the...

how is that even allowed?


----------



## TekJounin (May 11, 2012)

Looks like someone is trying to cash in on the notoriety of My Immortal.


----------



## Tomcat171 (May 11, 2012)

They've spruced up the ff.net story pages. The review button is nice and shiny blueness 

And actually, I'd say that..._thing_...is trying to cash in more on Thirty H's.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (May 11, 2012)

*Spoiler*: __ 



what if the eight tailed host  of the eight headed hydra dragon, was a bastard love child of anko and oro?

what if naruto lost his fight with kakuzu? after getting his back broken he's captured by akatsuki and forced to join them, reason being that the eight tails jinchuuriki can only be beaten by the nine tails. if naruto refuses to join then the leader will invade war on the land of fire. little do they know naruto's planning a plot to destroy them from the inside (unlike a certain uchiha) but if they work together they may have a chance. but thanks to kakuzu, naruto fight him once more. barely escaping with no wear to go but back to the leaf village, with his tail between his legs he finds that he must regain the villages respect. naruto has a couple of wind jutsu in this and is a trap master. after all, he's a sly fox.




well? too cliche?


----------



## Kakashifan727 (May 11, 2012)

That guy's profile stinks of fail. All of his fics seems like that.


----------



## FrayedThread (May 11, 2012)

Zoroark said:


> I was looking forward to some nice fanfictions to take my mind off of finals and all, but somehow, I stumbled upon these pieces of crap. At least they provide a good chuckle.
> 
> 
> 
> Virgin eyes, derail this link!



 What the hell is that?


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## Raptor (May 11, 2012)

What is that, I don't even...


----------



## hannah (May 13, 2012)

The fic was dark. Emotional distress, traumas, guilt, loss, semi-rape, lies, humanity hidden behind masks, broken promises, suicidal thoughts. Next paragraph: They got married.


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## Rouge Angle (May 13, 2012)

Zoroark said:


> I was looking forward to some nice fanfictions to take my mind off of finals and all, but somehow, I stumbled upon these pieces of crap. At least they provide a good chuckle.
> 
> 
> 
> Virgin eyes, derail this link!



 Oh troll-fic. And the saddest thing? Not even original. As TekJounin so rightly pointed out it's a rip off of My Immortal minus one "goffik" Mary Sue. 

@Tomcat, I wouldn't compare it to Thirty H's. Thirty H's is full of raging purple prose and WTF-ery (or the dramatic readings I've seen of it seem to imply).


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## Kakashifan727 (May 13, 2012)

Ugh..another long-lost sibling family-member fic. Why oh why? Added to the C2 just cause...



and someone else bitched about one of our reviews with oh so eloquent reply of "it's fanfiction..don't like,. don't read."  the lulz shall be had as I think of a reply suitable to the situation.


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## Whirlpool (May 13, 2012)

"Fill me with your seed!"


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## Kakashifan727 (May 13, 2012)

Shit, I didn;t even see that. Only did cause it was long lost X/Y/Z type fic. Bad smut too eh?


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## FrayedThread (May 13, 2012)

I do like some fluff in pairing fics, but sometimes it's just so OTT it's unbelievable.
What have you done to the characters to make them these complete romantic saps?!?!


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## Adagio (May 14, 2012)

I found a Guilty Crown x Naruto crossover. The author introduced it nicely and the set up was very promising. 

Then I discover its riddled with mixed Japanese phrases that completely break the flow of any dialogue horrible spelling is abundant. 


Why is life so cruel


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## Kakashifan727 (May 14, 2012)

Never heard of it. What is GC?


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## Adagio (May 14, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> Never heard of it. What is GC?



An anime series that started in Winter 2012. It looked very promising in the beginning as it was obvious it had a fairly big budget. 

If I had to sum up its overall performance I'd say it was entertaining eye-candy and nothing more. Which is sad. The story and its theme was pretty solid and the story could have been awesome. Instead it was replaced with wtfery and random ripoffs from other series. 

About the only real awesome thing left from that franchise is the soundtrack. Probably the best anime soundtrack of the past year or so. Its like a continuous orgasm for the ears (perhaps the last sentence is slightly hyperbolized).


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## Kakashifan727 (May 14, 2012)

:Argh good god, my eyes!!



wait, this beats it.


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## Adagio (May 14, 2012)

Send the author back to primary school to learn the meaning of paragraphs for God's sake


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## Kakashifan727 (May 14, 2012)

Darth is on one of his rants again. Good Lord


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## lacey (May 14, 2012)

It's stuff like that that makes me want to feed it to Word, and let it rip it to shreds.


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## TekJounin (May 14, 2012)

♥ Comatose ♥ said:


> It's stuff like that that makes me want to feed it to Word, and let it rip it to shreds.



I've done that!    Taken what was an intriguing, yet seriously flawed (spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc) story & put it into Open Office, let it correct what it could, then read the story.

Left a good review with the caveat to please find a good beta.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 14, 2012)

His rant is just so mysologinst, sexist, anti-gay and bleh it was disgusting.

This one review had my mouth openi nshock  More tha nthat though like    


*Spoiler*: __ 



You know when I first started reading this fic it was because I was bored and an author I kinda/sorta like had it favorited so I figured I'd give it a shot. I was expecting another Naruto's revenge power fantasy by yet another disgruntled fan of Kishimoto's work so I was very pleasantly surprised by what I did find.

Good pacing, especially during action scenes. I can't stress enough how important that is since so many people try so hard to get the audience to see things the exact way they picture it in their head that they end up with these swamped with description paragraphs that feel like a march uphill to read. It takes away from the excitement and tension I should have gotten reading about a fight. Its hard to feel worried for the characters involved if it feels like the action is taking place in slow motion.

You gave me summarized or just bare, basic descriptions and allowed my imagination to fill in the blanks. That shows a willingness to trust that your readers are not in fact mentally handicapped and do posess some smidgen of creativity.

I'll be honest and say that I can see this story ending in horrible tragedy. Or maybe even just a pyhric victory. Either way I can't help but picture the Korean movie, "Oldboy". But then again I could be wrong and some how redemption and forgiveness fit in there somewhere.

The only place I could use more description in is during certain scenes between Naruto and characters he has an emotional or growing emotional interest in. There have been hints of guilt here and there, but nothing truly explored to get us a picture into his mind. Scenes are more emotional if the reader is inserted into them rather than having the reader be a witness.

Engage the senses like smells, sounds, tastes or textures. Get some inner monologues going, but not too heavy or it gets weird. For instance now that Naruto and Tsubaki have "Confessed" their feelings towards one another. Tsubaki might say she loves him but I'd like to know what she feels when she sees him smile, holds him or kisses him. I want to know what Naruto feels about that as well, and I don't mean just the actual physical act.

Basically I'd like to see more about the people themselves than just their actions.




redid my author's note for my fic. Is it still too bitchy sounding? Only trying to make a point here.


*Spoiler*: __ 



A/N: Let's see how much better I've gotten. Hope this turns out better than the first one. It's all told from Kakashi's POV, by the way. Based on an old flop of mine; and no, I'm not putting that up, it's so ludicrous and I wish I never wrote the damn thing. ( I was like..thirteen at the time so, lol, can't really be blamed can I? Oh wait no, I can, derp.) Just don't ask me for it or any links to it/the files, if you know what the hell I'm talking about anyways. This could flop too, but hey I'm writing this more for fun(fanserivce for me, teh womenz(and ga(u)yz who know Kakashi is awesome) too) really. It will be serious, but I won't update as much due to HGN taking priority. If you have any ideas, feel free to put them in reviews, but do so tactfully. I DON'T want to hear bitching about pairings, flames are fine though; I'm really just talking about the people who whine when the fic doesn't take the turn the way they wanted. That or the lazy assholes who post a fanfic, filled with spelling/grammar errors OCs, MS's, and the people who steal chars personalities from other series and attach it to the Naruto character's and call that "originality" what have you. Try writing your own shit, seeing as most of you don't have ANYTHING in your profiles under 'Written' and then come bitch to me about my fic. Not so easy to write well, isn't it? The keyword there is well, not the tripe high school, akatsuki, rape/beaten Naruto by villager mob fics that have been done to death and back four times over. 

Oh, and for those of you with the pitiful "excuse" of 'don't like, don't read', 'dis is fanfiction dur hur' or some such bullshit; how the hell can we know if we like your story if we have not read it? One cannot solely base the quality of the story on the summary alone; though in some exceptions one most often can. I have read fics, that despite my initial dislike of the subject material, was actually quite good. That's how you know you have a well written fic if it can pull in someone whose tastes adverse to the subject material. This hardly will happen, but still it is a nice thing to see. It's called being open-minded, but I forget that the sheeple community has no idea how to do that and flocks to whatever seems to be 'in' or 'hip' right now. You are submitting your works to a *public* site; where they can be viewed by _anyone_, and some people are going to voice their opinion, and you may not like it. As long as they have advice to give and it's done so in respectful but tough manner; get over being butthurt, you're no Edgar Allen Poe or Charles Dickens (Oh, the irony of this statement is bringing me to giggles!). Going to your 'fans' or cronies to bitch and whine about what someone said on a public forum/site is no reason to lash out at them; Besides, they may have had good reason too. Seeing the majority of trash that gets posted with no thought to being proofread, thought out properly and made into some coherent story or drabble, I'd say they are entitled to their so called 'harsh' or 'flaming' opinion.  

	Still unsure of what I want the book universe to be. From the filler part of the first Shippuden ep, I think that it looks like a more modern Narutoverse. However, having it be too similar to the Real World would be boring, so I'm making some adjustments. Kinda want to go for a cyberpunk feel with guns and some advanced tech, not too much, and with samurai. Think like Samurai Champloo or something, that's really the only example I know. Kakashi is projecting himself into the main character's shoes,  imagining himself in situations from the book to explain the premise a bit better.  But still, I would appreciate it if you do take my warnings to heart with at least a grain of salt. And don't worry, no other author's note of mine will be this big ever again ( It's only 400 words out of the whole 6000+ chapter, not even, more like 370). Here's the fic, and an extra long prologue as thanks, enjoy!


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## lacey (May 15, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> I've done that!    Taken what was an intriguing, yet seriously flawed (spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc) story & put it into Open Office, let it correct what it could, then read the story.



I've done that as well. It's interesting how good a story can get if all you do is break everything up into paragraphs, fix the spelling, grammar, etc. Occasionally, I'll end up rewriting sentences and the like too, just to make sure it flows okay.


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## TekJounin (May 16, 2012)

This is relevant to our discussion:


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## Adagio (May 17, 2012)

No words can describe the ridiculousness of any story featuring male pregnancy.


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## TekJounin (May 17, 2012)

Adagio said:


> No words can describe the ridiculousness of any story featuring male pregnancy.


I should have properly titled that comic.  It's called "REALLY Bad Fanfiction pt1" by AlmightyShadowchan on DeviantArt.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 17, 2012)

I died, lol it's too good.


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## Horu (May 18, 2012)

Yeah, I guess I've read too many bad fanfics if I don't think it's really all that over-the-top.


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## axellover2 (May 18, 2012)

Lol, that was too funny. It sounds strangely familiar too; like a story I've read.

I find the female/female pregnancies to be stranger. Although I think I've only read one of those.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (May 20, 2012)

TekJounin said:


> This is relevant to our discussion:



why the fuck is deidara there?


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## TekJounin (May 20, 2012)

bloodplzkthxlol said:


> why the fuck is deidara there?



Voyeur.  Sexpot.  Hatin' on Uchihas, of course.


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## hyena611 (May 20, 2012)

Lol..fics with warnings such as "Warning: HARDCORE YAOI for Adults and Yaoi fans ONLY!" and "merely" involve a weird smelly-sock-fetish and some kissing, and no real growing plot.

I know we already discussed this, but...I...just...HATE fics with no real plot structure, just silly rushed romance/smut.


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## Rouge Angle (May 21, 2012)

*stealthily returns to thread*





Itachifan727 said:


> redid my author's note for my fic. Is it still too bitchy sounding? Only trying to make a point here.
> *Spoiler*: __
> 
> 
> ...



Right. That is rather bitchy, not that you aren't allowed to be bitchy about bad fanfic. We're all here after all . What I would ask you though is: do you really need to be saying all of this _in your story?_ Your A/N is over 700 words long. Very little of it is talking about your story, you're using your A/N as message board to shove your views on fanfic at people. It's not really the place to be doing that. Just a thought.

This is YMMV, but personally I prefer to have either no A/Ns, or to make them as short as possible. I say hi, give any warnings I have to, mention that feedback would be nice but is not essential (and if it's a multichapter I only say this once in the very first chapter, I don't keep going on about it) and that's it.





hyena611 said:


> Lol..fics with warnings such as "Warning: HARDCORE YAOI for Adults and Yaoi fans ONLY!" and "merely" involve a weird smelly-sock-fetish and some kissing, and no real growing plot.


 Only for adults and Yaoi fans eh? So you're either one or the other?  I'd make a show of being mildly offended if it weren't for the fact I don't like "yaoi". Same-sex pairings, yes. Yaoi and all the bad stereotypes that come with it? NO.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 21, 2012)

Sweet, I'll just leave the last paragraph then.


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## Horu (May 22, 2012)

Been reading a story by an author who's apparently a large fan of classical music.

Moments of time always seem to pass in minuets.


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## Whirlpool (May 22, 2012)

There is this fic out about a strong Naruto, who has went to a different dimension. In his dimension he was used as a weapon and he's as strong as he was when he fought Pain. (SM and all that) He's also friends with Kurama.

I know what your thinking 'Mary-sue Naruto bla bla'

No!

This fic isn't very serious, in fact it's a humour story. And it's good at it.

*Eyes snapping open, Naruto vanished from view, speeding towards where the chakra was supposed to be. After a few moments, he found a teenage girl with mint-green hair, tanned skin, orange eyes, and a set of clothes that designated her as important. She was being yelled at by a store owner.

Naruto's first thought was "fuck yeah, orange". He second was "fuck no, discrimination".*

 

*Frankly, Naruto was irritated enough before he heard the man's actual whining voice. So he knocked him the fuck out. The Hidden Waterfall wouldn't have an ANBU force or anything strong enough to make Naruto sneeze anyway.*

That's him not even trying 

*Several ANBU had been watching what was happening, but they didn't care. At all, really. In the end, ANBU were freaking useless. They never did anything useful at all except for die.*



Enjoy, as i have.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 22, 2012)

shit, this might actually be good.


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## Whirlpool (May 22, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> shit, this might actually be good.



I myself enjoyed it


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## Moliemae (May 29, 2012)

I'm not going to go and make a massive list, seeing as most people have covered most of my qualms already, though I am going to mention a few already addressed. 

Lack of proper spelling, grammar, and syntax always annoy the hell out of me. I assume most of these people have taken an English class. Is it that damn hard to actually sound like you've pursued an education beyond the fifth grade? I understand that typos happen and can be missed, but when half of the damn fic is misspelled I begin to wonder whether they were actually looking at the screen as they typed or just sat on the keyboard and published whatever ended up on the document. As someone who has actually had her shorts stories and poetry locally published, it makes me loose faith in the human race when I see it.

I generally don't mind pairings, providing they're done well. Heterosexual, homosexual, threesome, orgy, doesn't matter, as long as the author knows what they're doing and the pairing either makes sense in canon or the author somehow can convincingly make it make sense. Sadly, so few do. Most end up as plot tumors in non-romance fiction, and the romance fiction ends up being failed attempts at softcore porn. Frankly, it annoys me. Some crack pairings in humorous stories can admittedly be pretty funny, though.

Another biggie is random Japanese inserted everywhere. Sort of sounds hypocritical, given my usage of French every now and again. But I have the excuse in that I, oh, I don't know, *actually know the language*. Unlike these dumbasses who think they're being cute or clever by randomly adding in all of these Japanese words. The only time I would ever use Japanese in any sort of fiction would be honorifics used by characters who would logically address people with them, or the names of specific concepts or ideologies.


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## Whirlpool (May 30, 2012)

"Arrest him! The demon is revolting!"

"He's going to kill us all!"

"We're all making ourselves look incredibly dumb on purpose because we're the civilian council!"

Alternate timeline is fucking amazing


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## Pesky Bug (May 30, 2012)

Moliemae said:


> Another biggie is random Japanese inserted everywhere. Sort of sounds hypocritical, given my usage of French every now and again. But I have the excuse in that I, oh, I don't know, *actually know the language*. Unlike these dumbasses who think they're being cute or clever by randomly adding in all of these Japanese words. The only time I would ever use Japanese in any sort of fiction would be honorifics used by characters who would logically address people with them, or the names of specific concepts or ideologies.


This really started to annoy. I recently began reading fanfics again, just as exam week was nearing, and remembered why I hate this so much. It's usually "ano", "gomen" and others which... I can handle. I silently insult the author for being an idiot, but tend to keep on reading. This one fic, however, hit me hard. I don't even remember what it was about, but one line was "Nii-san... iya... Uragirimono".

They learned 10 words from watching anime and think are so cool for using them. I don't know if I should laugh or not.


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## Adagio (May 30, 2012)

I'll allow Japanese words for techniques, even made up ones. I'll allow honorifics if they are used for a purpose. 

But random words?


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## Whirlpool (May 30, 2012)

Read this.


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## Kakashifan727 (May 30, 2012)

one thing i dislike is that it does bash. but at least it does it to everybody and everything so hey, I can accept that.


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## Whirlpool (May 31, 2012)

It bashes in a humourous, mocking way.


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## Horu (May 31, 2012)

You're the author, aren't you


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## Raptor (May 31, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> one thing i dislike is that it does bash. but at least it does it to everybody and everything so hey, I can accept that.



I dislike bashing completely.  I don't see any reason to hate a 2d character to that point.


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## Romanticide (May 31, 2012)

Referring to eyes as orbs, random Japanese words, and horrible grammar.


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## Tomcat171 (Jun 4, 2012)

Welp, FF.net has finally realised that they should actually be enforcing their 'no MA-rated fic' rule. So, if anybody doesn't like lemons, it's likely that FF will be purged of them soon, so you may cheer to your heart's content.

Shame, really...


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## Adagio (Jun 5, 2012)

Interesting.. on one hand its a good thing because it gets rid of authors who deal with smut exclusively but on the other hand it limits other stories that may have some adult scenes in them. 

Its not a huge problem I guess.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jun 5, 2012)

Whatever. Doesn't affect me at all. Just get an account on AFF.net for smut.


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## Horu (Jun 5, 2012)

I think it's just a reminder. They've always accepted reports about MA rated content in fics, a few have been deleted over the years, and unless this announcement suddenly awakens a horde of rabid reporters, nothing's going to change because the policy hasn't changed - readers have always cheered on lemons rather than report them, and they'll continue to do so regardless of this reminder.


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## Whirlpool (Jun 5, 2012)

What if its a really epic awesome story with one measly little hot lemon?


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## FrayedThread (Jun 5, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Welp, FF.net has finally realised that they should actually be enforcing their 'no MA-rated fic' rule. So, if anybody doesn't like lemons, it's likely that FF will be purged of them soon, so you may cheer to your heart's content.
> 
> Shame, really...



 

A lot of stories have them, but aren't even revolved around lemons. There's sometimes only one in the entire fic.
I certainly hope they're not targeting all of them...


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## Rouge Angle (Jun 5, 2012)

Tomcat171 said:


> Welp, FF.net has finally realised that they should actually be enforcing their 'no MA-rated fic' rule. So, if anybody doesn't like lemons, it's likely that FF will be purged of them soon, so you may cheer to your heart's content.
> 
> Shame, really...


I wouldn't worry too much. Unless they hire a crap-ton of moderators they'll have to keep relying on user reports.

Also, what do you bet that their new story cover idea is going to get a lot of complaints about art theft?





Itachifan727 said:


> Whatever. Doesn't affect me at all. Just get an account on AFF.net for smut.


Except AFF is kind of shitty format wise when compared to FFN. Which is why no one ever uses it.

It doesn't currently affect me personally either way (I deleted all my old uploads on the site and my sex scenes are usually vague enough to get away with an M rating).


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## CandyCocaine (Jun 5, 2012)

Good God.. I just spent the last hour or so reading through this thread...
You guys made my day.


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## The Jeffrey (Jun 5, 2012)

I don't really care about the new lemon thing, that just means that most cliche dark Naruto fics are gone. Besides, if I wanted lemons I'd look for them elsewhere.


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## Tomcat171 (Jun 6, 2012)

Honestly, I wasn't sure what point they were conveying. They were either making a simple reminder (which, as is evident, has been ignored by authors for yonks), or that they actually plan to do something about it. They used the word 'clarify', not 'enforce', as Horu mentioned.

I should have noticed it earlier, TBH... Sod it, I've been putting more of my time into redoing work and playing with my AC group anyway.

Meh, what stuff I have that's infringing has been on AFF for the past year or so as a safeguard, but I'm keeping them on FF regardless until they're forcibly taken off.

Anyway, with that gone, what shit have I missed?


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## Whirlpool (Jun 13, 2012)

Naruto frowned. Well, he might as well try it out. "Hey, Village Hidden in the Rocks!" The blond shouted, cupping his hands to his mouth and projecting his voice.

Everyone on the street stopped and looked at him. "Yes, you people! You Rock civilians and ninja! Hell, even you Rock ANBU! I want your attention! I have something very, very important to say!"

Once there was a suitable crowd, Naruto loudly cleared his voice as Kurotsuchi and Suzumebachi watched on. "I am the son of the Yellow Flash and I am capable of using the Flying Thunder God jutsu."

Dot dot dot. Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion as he heard a random person cough in the crowd in front of him. Then someone yelled, "Is that supposed to make us angry?"

"I don't know, is it?" Naruto yelled back.

"Of course it is! Your dad killed so many of us!" someone said.

"Yeah! He was an army killer! A damned annoying one!" someone else added.

Naruto glanced at Kurotsuchi, who was rubbing the back of her head and chuckling sheepishly. "Okay, I realize that my dad killed a bunch of you. But that was in response to your own attacks! Do you honestly fucking think you haven't killed a bunch of Leaf ninja?"

There was some murmuring. Then someone said, "We're still illogically angry at you!"

Naruto ground his teeth in annoyance. Fuck. "Why? I never did anything to you guys! In fact, I might even give you a valuable bloodline!"

Suzumebachi and Kurotsuchi blushed when he said that. He was insinuating, but it was still... well, embarrassing. And besides, teenagers are a bunch of roiling emotions packed into a silly body.

Naruto doesn't count; he's an amazing ninja.

Then the crowd began murmuring again. "Why shouldn't we be angry at you?" someone yelled out.

Naruto sighed. Fucking stupid dad. Fucking stupid Flying Thunder God jutsu. Fucking stupid grudges. "I never killed any Rock ninja," Naruto replied.

Finally, "Fine, we accept your logically sound argument, even if it was short and probably had no basis."

Then the crowd dispersed. Naruto turned to Kurotsuchi. "Do I get a soda now, or do I have to go all big and scary jinchuriki-mode?"



BEST. HUMOUR. FIC. EVAR


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## Kakashifan727 (Jun 13, 2012)

derp here you go


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## CandyCocaine (Jun 13, 2012)

Itachifan727 said:


> derp here you go



Is that your story? And have you read The Empty Cage?


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## Kakashifan727 (Jun 13, 2012)

Nope; I plan to do a spoof eventually though; later though, much later. My profile is in my sig.

Never heard of it. GG 'night.


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## The Jeffrey (Jun 13, 2012)

Spoofs are fun to do, I find them the easiest to write.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jun 24, 2012)

Not all are Naruto, but some of this is just gold.


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## Lilandriss (Jun 29, 2012)

This isn't a Naruto peeve, but one I've been noticing with Ninja Turtles lately.  People who feel the need to bring in female turtles and give them LONG FLOWING LUSCIOUS HAIR!!! It's a turtle!! Why are you giving a TURTLE hair??? 

Fucking retards.


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## Whirlpool (Jul 4, 2012)

At the above: 

Anyways, all I see nowadays are bad Naruto harem fics or extremely bad-plotted Yaoi fics.

Alternate timeline is the only Naruto fic I read every time a new chapter comes oput, it's godly.


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## happiholic (Jul 6, 2012)

I don't like AU fics. I hate them even more when they are set in high school. I hate them most when the characters are put into subcultures. Sasuke the emo, Naruto the jock, Gaara the goth, Ino the cheerleader.


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## Horu (Jul 6, 2012)

AU can offer a fresh break when normal universe gets done to death. The issue is finding one that's actually good, which is a load harder than finding a normal fic that's actually good (which, as we know, is already a monumental feat). High school, on the other hand, is a literary black hole unto itself. I don't mind a modern-era fic with high school aged characters doing things other than going to school, but if the school is the setting...


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## Whirlpool (Jul 7, 2012)

Alternite timeline is AU gold.

Read that shit yo.


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## Epsilon7 (Jul 11, 2012)

I hate the ones where Naruto's sister somehow ends up with the Kyuubi as well. I mean, a regular Uzumaki would be pretty badass, with their extreme chakra amount, and skill in summoning jutsu, but I really don't see how a seconds kyuubi could come into existence.

Brb, thinking of how a second Kyuubi could come into existence, and when I think of a way, I'm putting it in my next fic.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jul 11, 2012)

I think thgat when Minato split the seal, the yin and yang were separated. But as we know, the NT has feed off of  Naruto's chakra (even not when in BM), and has p0ossibly regained its yang or yin over time. Maybe a bijuu could form with that somehow? 

IE: If yin was sealed in one Uzumaki and yang in the other, the tailed beasts could still survive by feeding off of amounts of their hosts chakra and still be as powerful as they were before the split, or probably less so, since even though Uzumaki chakra is better than normal human chakra in this case it has been dissolved by Minato's blood/chakra as well plus it can't compare to bijuu chakra in its entirely no matter who strong said person is. Humans are humans after all. I dunno...sounds good enough to me.


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## Adagio (Jul 11, 2012)

The difference can't be all that great. When Naruto seized the Kyuubi's chakra it shrivelled up, yet a few chapters later it regained its former appearance as if nothing happened. Clearly Naruto's normal chakra is sufficient to make up for the loss incurred when Minato took the Yang half with him to the Death God. 

As Tobi said in the recent chapter, as long as a portion is there the original power should remain intact. At least that is what I think he was trying to say..

The premise of a twinfic or sibling fic is not inherently bad. Its just shoddy execution, fandom's obsession with harems and i*c*st. They also all seem to require really bad parenting on Minato's and Kushina's part which is incredibly OOC, because apparently writers can't write Naruto without some sort of tragedy in his past. As if having a demon in his belly isn't enough.


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## Kankurette (Sep 9, 2012)

Just thought of another one - Shikaku and/or Chouza being abusive parents. Making Hiashi and Fugaku abusive is bad enough, as while neither of them are going to win Dad of the Year, they're not terrible parents and they do love their kids. But Shikaku and Chouza? Two guys who have great relationships with their kids and actually parent them? Yeah, no. Just because they got angry at Shikamaru and Chouji (in the Rescue Sasuke and war arcs respectively) does not make them abusive, and frankly Shikamaru and Chouji both deserved it (Shikamaru for being a coward and Chouji for putting his team mates in danger). Shikaku gets it more than Chouza, maybe because he has a goatee or something, I dunno. And on that note, Shikaku is not Yoshino's little bitch, and Chouza is not an idiot, and I wish people who write the pair of them would realise this. Yoshino is a bit bossy, but I doubt she beats Shikaku up and throws him out all the time. And sure, Chouza's not a super genius but he does come across as fairly intelligent.

Also any fic that has Naruto or Sasuke killing the InoShikaChou trio in various nasty ways, probably because they're supposed to represent the establishment or something, but that's just me being biased. 

And has anyone read Chuunin Exam Day? I hate Sasuke, he is one of my least favourite characters, and I still thought the way he was written in that fic was disgusting. The author had a massive hateboner for him and it showed. Sakura too, to a lesser extent. Naruto fics where Naruto becomes a superpowered Gary Stu and everyone in Konoha except Sakura wants to bang him make me cringe.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 9, 2012)

Never heard of it, though I can see why it's annoying. I don't like P2 Sasuke that much, but I still try to portray him as best I can.


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## Kankurette (Sep 9, 2012)

On the subject of Sasuke, I hate the idea of him being a rapist because it seems OOC for him. He'd probably view rape as base and disgusting. He seems quite old-fashioned about principles and honour and stuff, and I doubt he'd be OK with raping someone.


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## Tink (Sep 9, 2012)

Obviously, it depends on the individual since everyone reads different fanfics. What I like, I'm certain few people agree with, but in any case.

OOC-ness, or at least too much of it. I mean, Kishi pulling it off in a parallel universe; that I can accept because...it's a parallel universe. However, making Sasuke into a fairy dreamy prince, or him, Gaara, Neji, Itachi, or any of those "silent pretty boys" fall in love with a girl (...or guy) at first sight, it just doesn't make sense. If you're writing a pairing with them included , then you should show the development on the side of these difficult characters (alright, NaruGaa is the exception to this  Just saying).

I'm not a huge fan of OC's. Gary-stus, Mary-sues, harems. First person is...eh. Really bad grammar (like, worse than me  ). Also what Kankurette mentioned above me.
High-school ones are over-done, but if there is a plot twist or something then I'm in.
Granted, it's _fan_-fiction; the author can do whatever the hell they want. However, don't expect me to particularly like what you've written in these cases.


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## Kankurette (Sep 9, 2012)

I keep reading a lot about the '(civilian) council'. Who are they? Koharu and Homura and some random people and maybe the odd clan head?


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 9, 2012)

Lemme find the chapter...

Right back at ya 

This is the ninja council or the daimyo council I think. Guess people made up an equivalent for the civilians?


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## Kankurette (Sep 9, 2012)

Ah, OK. In my fanon it's all the clan heads, plus whoever the Hokage's advisors are (Neji and Shikamaru in Naruto's case), Shizune, and Sakura (this is after Danzo, Tsunade and the elders have all died). I'm guessing in other fics, Danzo is always involved somehow and they're responsible for the systematic persecution of Wonderboy and they're also the reason why Tsunade is an alkie.

Also, someone mentioned that Wilkins75 person earlier in the thread, so I had to take a look. I found his fics impossible to read due to horrible punctuation, but apparently he bashes Lee, Chouji and Hinata? The fuck? Does he hate nice characters or something? And why would Shikamaru get wolf mode when his family are affiliated with DEER?


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 9, 2012)

WHAT? NO, you lie! 

That makes sense...I did something similar for mine, but honestly only mentioned it in passing; they have no power yet nor are they important to the plot, though Damzou has made a cameo.


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## Kankurette (Sep 10, 2012)

The council do have some power in my fanon, but ultimately Naruto gets the final say. Since he's Hokage.

Btw are any of you in  on Livejournal? Dead comm is dead, but it used to be quite active (Naruto fandom on LJ in general seems a bit dead these days, and it's impossible to post in the Capslock comm now, boo) and there are some dreadful fics in there. No offence to SasuNaru fans, but your pairing came up the most. I don't know what it is about SasNar and badfic, but they go together like Naruto and ramen.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 10, 2012)

Nope, don't use that LJ thing. I have signed up for AFF.net though.


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## Kankurette (Sep 10, 2012)

I'm on there, but I don't post there much.

Btw someone earlier in the thread mentioned how people who write band fic tend to have shit taste in music. This is true. It would be nice if Metal!Akatsuki or whoever were playing music by a decent metal band instead of Linkin fucking Park or Breaking sodding Benjamin all the time (actually, I like LP but calling them metal is pushing it a wee bit). I guess it's down to age? And why is it always metal? Can't we have a folk band or a jazz band instead? "Kiba played a mean accordion" or whatever?

And if Tomcat is reading this, I can totally imagine Naruto playing drums. I make him play the piano in one fic I'm writing. It's a school orchestra fic and a parody of an old Danny Kaye song, though.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 10, 2012)

I just read this spork that was KibaXAkamaru...OH GOD WHY?


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## Kankurette (Sep 10, 2012)

It's fairly popular, sadly. So is Hinata x Akamaru. Because Hinata is totally the type of girl who fucks dogs.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 10, 2012)

What?What?What?WHAT??

I swear fanfic sometimes   

Hell, I've done bad fics but not as bad as these! @_@ Are these people on drugs or what? I mean, how can you think of half of this jacked up shit?


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## Kankurette (Sep 10, 2012)

Fetishes. Just look at Deviantart - actually, don't.

Also, I want to write a fic for the lulz where Gaara is possessed by _Shi_kaku instead of _Shu_kaku, because people are always getting them confused. One is a giant drunken tanuki. The other one is Shikamaru's dad.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 10, 2012)

Yeah, i can tell them apart. SHIT that would be LOLZ. I have a couple kinks too but I don't post them to the public; I mean WHY would you want people to know you like bestiality or other blah? Some common ones though, like anal or whipping or threesomes seem fine as lots of fics have those types of things. I'm talking about OVER 9000 level of insane here.


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## Whirlpool (Sep 10, 2012)

What's wrong with dog fuckerz? 

I fucking hate when I saee "Naruto is forced into heat by Kyuubi and fucks Gaara/Sasuke/Neji bla bla.

Foolish girls, don't you know animal biology?

#PenisInsideVaginaThenHavingNaturalKids!!


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## Whirlpool (Sep 10, 2012)

Kankurette said:


> And if Tomcat is reading this, I can totally imagine Naruto playing drums



Probably because he's so hyper, besides he hasn't got the finger skills for the strings, his raw strenght and speed is perfect for teh drumbeetz


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## Kankurette (Sep 11, 2012)

I can totally imagine him whacking seven shades of shit out of a piano.

Also, speaking of animals, what is this obsession with turning Akatsuki into kittens? I like kittens, but not if they're Akatsuki members. At least be original and make them, I dunno, piranhas or something if you're going to make them animals.


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## Herpules (Sep 11, 2012)

Meow.

I'll just leave this here


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## Horu (Sep 12, 2012)

Kankurette said:


> Also any fic that has Naruto or Sasuke killing the InoShikaChou trio in various nasty ways, probably because they're supposed to represent the establishment or something, but that's just me being biased.


I've never come across this in all my years 

How is it even supposed to make sense?

Especially for Naruto?


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## Kankurette (Sep 12, 2012)

Naruto is working for Oro. He turns into a total psycho and kills people all over Konoha, and of course he gets the ISC. Inoichi is decapitated, Shikaku is shot by some chakra cannon thing, and Chouza gets mutilated and paralysed, and then Naruto _destroys his fucking head_. Naruto is, of course, majorly OOC.

 SasuHina fic. Chouza's body explodes, courtesy of Sasuke's sword. Neji is evil or something. Sakura is mutilated. Aaaargh.

And I found another fic where Akatsuki were a shitty rock band who covered Breaking Benjamin, but it's been deleted. Like I said, if it has to be a band, can't it be a funk band or a jazz band or something? Akatsuki have enough members to have their own horn section.

ETA: FF Anbu has MSTs of it  and . The line-up is as follows:



> Kakuzu- treasurer
> Konan- fasion, make-up, keyboard back up, If needed.
> Sasori- song writer and bassist
> Deidara- hopefully lead singer
> ...



I think I like my Akatsuki jazz band better. Also, 'treasurer' isn't an instrument, can't Kakuzu be the manager or something (although Tobi would be a great Colonel Tom Parker figure)? And snarky sociopath Sasori calling Deidara 'snicklefritz'? No, just no. Good thing I'm not a big fan of either character, or I'd be displeased. Kisame gets ruined enough in badfic, but not as much as these two.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 12, 2012)

AHAHAHA!! Oh God this made my day. I love sporkings.


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## Seika (Sep 12, 2012)

AkatsukixSakura fics. Hard to find a well written story about Akatsuki without Sakura somehow entangled in the plot. Come on, they can do way better than her.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 12, 2012)

AkatsukiXanyone is just odd. They're killers for god's sake, well you could say that about anyone in the series...but still.


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## Seika (Sep 12, 2012)

The majority of Akatsuki fics either have Sakura, yaoi, or ridiculous OCs. And to top it off they are all blatantly cliche as well.


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## Kankurette (Sep 13, 2012)

Tennyo Rei said:


> AkatsukixSakura fics. Hard to find a well written story about Akatsuki without Sakura somehow entangled in the plot. Come on, they can do way better than her.


I hate AkatsukixSakura fics, but not because I hate Sakura, because I just don't see the point. I don't think any pairings with Akatsuki and (insert kunoichi here) would work unless there was some MAJOR Stockholm Syndrome going on. Especially Sasori. He's a puppet! He has no genitals! 

And I also hate it when Akatsuki are all doing each other and Konan is shoved out of the way because we can't have nasty girly vagina getting the way of yaoi.

ETA: I read a bit more of that fic where Naruto offs the ISC, and I think what bothers me is that it's one of those fics where Naruto turns evil and decides to get his revenge on the village. And I fucking HATE Evil!Naruto fics because they're not original anymore, they've been done to death, they're blatant author wish fulfillment fantasies against characters they hate (and because Naruto is not edgy enough), and because they're just so OOC. Naruto kills the ISC in revenge for being mean to him when he was a kid, and he seems to get off on torturing them. In canon, he didn't even kill _Nagato_ - and Nagato killed _Jiraiya_, who was like a dad to Naruto - because he'd rather sit down and talk with his enemies or use his experiences to help people. OK, TnJ annoys me but it's a part of Naruto's character, and if you're going to make him a sociopath you might as well make an OC instead.

I know I'm being hypocritical cos most fanfic IS wish fulfillment, I have Naruto shacked up with Sakura and Sakura getting character development and the kunoichi getting awesome moments and loads of ISC, but I at least try and keep people in character, you know? I even changed a plotline for Hinata after a reviewer told me it was OOC (and it was, she'd never give up being a shinobi for good).


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 13, 2012)

OH God, don't remind me of Evil!naruto/DarkNaruto. Worst abused trope out there besides yaoi nowdays.


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## Kankurette (Sep 13, 2012)

And to all the fanbrats wishing Naruto would go dark and kill Sakura: he won't. He LIKES her. Just because YOU don't like her doesn't mean HE doesn't like her. Nor is he going to tell Hinata to go fuck herself. Stop projecting your feelings onto the canon characters.

I'm so fed up of bashfic that I'm going to write a Sasuke fic that makes him look sympathetic, as part of my Tales from the Konoha Library series. Hell, I even killed him off in one of my fics but made him die a hero (albeit unsung to most of the village) - he helps weaken Madara enough for Sakura to finish the job - and the truth comes out at his funeral, and the rookies mourn for him.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 13, 2012)

I'd read it. Wonder how that one retarded author that I tried to help is doing? Still bashing people it seems, everyone who tries to help is told to F off, and it doesn't matter what they think LOL.


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## FrayedThread (Sep 13, 2012)

I don't like Sakura but it irks me when she's portrayed a _really_ irritating fangirl - because she wasn't as bad in canon as she's shown to be in the fic.
That, and making her the Queen Bitch of the universe... which I see in several different pairing fics.

It's not just Sakura, but characters like Karin too. When I find I good and fair portrayal of them I think "hurrah".


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## Whirlpool (Sep 13, 2012)

FrayedThread said:


> I don't like Sakura but it irks me when she's portrayed a _really_ irritating fangirl - because she wasn't as bad in canon as she's shown to be in the fic.
> That, and making her the Queen Bitch of the universe... which I see in several different pairing fics.
> 
> It's not just Sakura, but characters like Karin too. When I find I good and fair portrayal of them I think "hurrah".



What?


It's obvious that Sakura is delusional, always destroys your ear drums with screams and is the weakest character ever, who everyone including Naruto hates


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## FrayedThread (Sep 13, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> What?
> 
> 
> It's obvious that Sakura is delusional, *always destroys your ear drums with screams and is the weakest character ever*, who everyone including Naruto hates



Sounds kinda like Part 1 Sakura  she's not too bad now.
I like everyone to be in character, and she's not as bad as she's made out to be sometimes.


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## Kankurette (Sep 13, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> What?
> 
> 
> It's obvious that Sakura is delusional, always destroys your ear drums with screams and is the weakest character ever, who everyone including Naruto hates


Yup. And Sasuke is a baby-eating rapist who will crumble like an origami statue when Naruto lays the mighty smackdown on him, followed by all the rookies lining up to spit on him.

Also, I found a Wilkins75 fic. Couldn't read it due to terrible punctuation and spelling.


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## Whirlpool (Sep 13, 2012)

FrayedThread said:


> Sounds kinda like Part 1 Sakura  she's not too bad now.
> I like everyone to be in character, and she's not as bad as she's made out to be sometimes.



She wasn;t even that bad in part 2, the worst she did was diss Naruto in episode 3 and that was it.

Poor Sakura 



Kankurette said:


> Yup. And Sasuke is a baby-eating rapist who will crumble like an origami statue when Naruto lays the mighty smackdown on him, followed by all the rookies lining up to spit on him.
> 
> Also, I found a Wilkins75 fic. Couldn't read it due to terrible punctuation and spelling.



I love reading his fics because I laugh my ass off.

"Hello sweaty" (It's supposed to be sweety, I nearly pissed myself"

"I am here to deliver a massage" (Message...."


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## FrayedThread (Sep 13, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> She wasn;t even that bad in part 2, the worst she did was diss Naruto in episode 3 and that was it.
> 
> Poor Sakura



I found that there's more to it than that.


> "I am here to deliver a massage"


Fine with me


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## Kankurette (Sep 14, 2012)

"Hello sweaty" sounds like something Sai might say, leading to a punch in the goolies.

I read one anti-Sakura fic that had the opposite purpose: it made me feel sorry for her. A gang of Sues were bullying her for NO REASON. She did nothing to deserve the treatment she got in the story, and the girls attacking her just came across as pathetic and transparent.

Btw does Wilkins write anti-Chouji fic? And on the subject of Chouji, one fic I read that made me angry was one where he was bulimic, everyone (INCLUDING SHIKAMARU) bullied him for being fat, and he tried to kill himself, and when he died people wrote nasty names on his grave. I know the author wrote it as a coping mechanism, but I've had problems with EDs myself and the way it was handled was awful. Besides, if any of the rookie kids are going to have an ED, Hinata would be the obvious choice, I'd have thought, since she has a lot of the personality traits.


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## Zen-aku (Sep 23, 2012)

"Naruto Was banished from the Village"

I fucking hate this story seed writers keep using, it makes no fucking sense.

None of the elders under any circumstance would Banish Naruto cause of his status as Jinchuriki.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 23, 2012)

Or some other buklshit reason the author makes up. And yet these stories are supposed to be "dark" and "edgy" pppfffffftttt~


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## Mizzkie (Sep 24, 2012)

(not sure if I already posted this; sorry if I already did)

I hate it when people use Japanese suffixes wrong.
If you don't know how it works, don't, you weeaboo. It's perfectly okay to write everything in English.
Which reminds me of another one: When an English fanfic has random Japanese phrases inserted. (ex: You baka.)

Gaara DOES NOT call Temari "Onee-chan". (in my fanon he calls her "Nee-san" or just simply her name -depends on situation)
Shikamaru DOES NOT call peole "-kun" or "-chan". EVER.

Pet Peeve Numero Tres:
Western names
No comment. *facepalm*




Kankurette said:


> Also, I want to write a fic for the lulz where Gaara is possessed by _Shi_kaku instead of _Shu_kaku, because people are always getting them confused. One is a giant drunken tanuki. The other one is Shikamaru's dad.


OH GAWD YES PLEASE.


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## Annabella (Sep 24, 2012)

I hate fanfics where every other sentence reminds you of the colour a character's hair/eyes and I particularly detest the constant use of the word 'pinkette'. 

 I dislike Akatsuki fanfics where Sakura always has to be the object of someone's affection, I just don't get what this adds to the plot 

Worst of all are AU fanfics where the characters are just exaggerated versions of themselves e.g. overly happy adhd naruto or nothing like themselves at all e.g. popular rich boy sasuke who goes around playing random girls etc


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## Pesky Bug (Sep 24, 2012)

There's something that always irks me, even though it's nothing all that serious.

_Kyuubi no Kitsune_. YOKO! He's a Yoko, not Kitsune! Nine Tailed Demon Fox, not Nine Tailed Fox. If you're going to try to make your fic sound Japanese, at least use the proper word.


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 24, 2012)

I'm used to being used that way, doesn't the anime also do that as well? I swore it did, or just went Kyuubi.


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## Kestrel (Sep 24, 2012)

I think my only top pet peeve would be male x male couples having a baby some how.
I can understand male pregnancy being something similar to how the female can't have a baby but, the male offers to carry the baby instead for his wife so they couple could have a child. Something like that would be a great story. Something like So and So males are together and ZOMG!! one is pregnant doesn't make for a good fic.

My other pet peeve just below High school fics would be fics where the characters aren't really that in character at all. I can understand a little out of character which can be nice. But, it can get annoying to read them saying or doing things that they normally wouldn't say or do.


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## Kyuuzen (Sep 24, 2012)

Retarded power-ups for Naruto.

Hey everyone, I'm Naruto, and at the start of the story I have a female Kyuubi(another pet peeve for me) as pretty much my bitch who just is constantly giving me chakra and tips on how to use it, I'm a master swordsman, I make my own jutsu, and, just for the lolz, fuck it, now I have Hyourinmaru.  Yes, from Bleach.  Why?

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3h9epCnRiY[/YOUTUBE]


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 24, 2012)

Those too, or ones that give him Sharingan or KG. Uzumaki KG isn't too bad, since it's mostly just stronger chakra, but KG is not sealing techniques I don't think. Those can be learned from anyone, if they know it. If only an Uzumaki knows it and teaches it to Naru would that count as a KG though? :mhm


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## Kankurette (Sep 27, 2012)

Why would Naruto have HITSUGAYA of all people's sword? I'd have thought Shunsui's swords or Ichigo's sword would be more his style.


Mizzkie said:


> (not sure if I already posted this; sorry if I already did)
> 
> I hate it when people use Japanese suffixes wrong.
> If you don't know how it works, don't, you weeaboo. It's perfectly okay to write everything in English.
> ...


Re Shikamaru - guilty as charged, I confess. I think I only did it once, though! And he may have been taking the piss.

I'm in two minds about suffixes, as I don't speak Japanese, but I appreciate they convey relationships in a way English doesn't. But lobbing 'chan' and 'kun' around can get annoying and I'd worry about misuse. The only one I really use is 'sama', since Naruto's the Hokage and he's always telling his mates not to call him 'Naruto-sama'. Although I was thinking of translating it as 'sir/ma'am' or 'my lord/my lady', depending on the speaker.

I think we can agree, though, that using 'teme' as a suffix is annoying as fuck because it ISN'T a suffix - isn't it just a rude way of saying 'you'?

As for KGs, the only thing worse than Wonder Boy getting one is fucking _Sakura_ getting one. Missing the point, much?


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## Kakashifan727 (Sep 27, 2012)

What about the Cursed Seal? I actually gave her one seeing as she jumped to protect Sasuke, but Team....8 I think was actually able to take her down with small difficulty and hinata even got a chance to practice a new move. Poor sakura lolz.


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## Whirlpool (Sep 27, 2012)

Why would he have Hitsu's sword?

Because he's the Minato of Bleach. Bland and boring, yet loved.


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 11, 2012)

Well, it seems Alternate Timeline has ended Whirlpool. Sad, as it was kinda funny.


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## Kankurette (Oct 16, 2012)

Apologies to any NaruHina fans reading this, but Team 8 is one of the most overrated Naruto fics ever. Granted, the Sakura/Kiba/Sasuke-bashing put me off a fair bit (as I said, I hate Sasuke but that doesn't mean I want to read fics where Stu!Naruto is constantly built up at Sasuke's expense).

Also, anyone had moments where you were reading a fic and then something threw you out of it? Like I was reading a ShikaChou fic and it was dead good until the part where Shikaku started talking about when he got pregnant with Shikamaru. Because in the Nara clan, the men carry the babies. I don't even want to think how Shikaku gave birth.  I know some people like mpreg, but I HATE it, sorry.


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## Whirlpool (Oct 16, 2012)

MPreg is the devil.



Itachifan727 said:


> Well, it seems Alternate Timeline has ended Whirlpool. Sad, as it was kinda funny.



Better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all.


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## Daxter (Oct 16, 2012)

*pokes head in* I was just reading this thread out of curiosity and had a few laughs, even if I only read a few pages.

I suppose anything I try to contribute will have been said a million times over, because it boils down to everything unpleasant ever.  

Here's the basics of all things I hate in a nutshell:

*a.* The unnecessary and improper use of Japanese (or any other language) words in a fic. No. No kawaiis, no bakas, no mas, demos, dobes, or _ah fuck_ - teme (so commonly used incorrectly anyway), or anything else you can think of.
Exceptions include culture-appropriate honorifics, name order and untranslatable/adopted words.
Even though Naruto is my first and only venture into Japanese-relative fanfiction, I knew this would be a problem from the get go, if weaboos were anything to go by.  I also ran into a similar problem in my first fandom (the only one before this), but it was less of an issue (probably 'cause it was non-Japanese. What's with Japanese? =3=).

*b.* Pronouns are not the enemy. There is no need to abuse descriptive nouns - use them sparingly.
Yes, that means the referring of selected persons too insistently as _the blonde_ or _the raven _or _the newly appointed expert teacher who also has silver hair and a mask and reads porn and is mysterious. _ Every. Other. Line.

*c.* The unfathomable inability to use conjunctions and/or put the comma to work. I cannot read anything that is entirely separated into curt, crude sentences.

*d.* The usual stuff - Mary-sues, implausible circumstances, unfortunately OCs, and the like.
Mary-sues extend to borrowed characters, not everyone in the world is gay (nor straight, though), no, you can't get pregnant through butt!sex, and yes, any attempts to integrate UzumakiUchihaHaruno AbbyMayLaraKiraSuki into the story is very unwelcome.

*e.* America's adorable attempts at English and spelling. This though, I can overlook, as I know it isn't exactly fair. 

*f.* Lack of research. Don't write about things you're not familiar with if you're not willing to do a little research first. Even a little, it goes a long way. Inaccurate fics suck, period.

So yeah. Also not fond of AUs outside Japan in Naruto's case, unless they are done super well. How many Sakuras, Sasukes, Narutos (blonde or not), Shikamarus, etc do you know in America, all in the same area, that go to the same school? .__. Naruto may be set in it's own universe, but it's based on Japan, and includes many, many Japanese themes.

Oh mpreg, you freakish, disturbing corner of fantasy you.


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## Kankurette (Oct 24, 2012)

If you were writing an American high school Naruto AU, would it be correct to give them all American names? Like, Larry Whirlpool wants to be Head Boy and he has a rival called Steve Fanshaw and is in love with a girl called Cherry Springfield or something.

I admit that when I write about Konoha I imagine the characters speaking in RP/Cockney/Estuary accents, and I use a lot of Britishisms and some British culture sneaks into my fanfic, but then I'm a Britfag and making Chouza tell Chouji to shift his _arse_ rather than his _ass_ feels natural to me. I'd only make a character use Americanisms if they were American, e.g. Revy from Black Lagoon. And they still do Japanese-y things. Naruto is Shinto, not Christian (I imagine him as an Inari worshipper) and eats ramen instead of chips and gravy.


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## Whirlpool (Oct 28, 2012)

Meh, the Akamichi's remind me of dwarves and they say arse so


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 28, 2012)

Ahahaha! LOL Chouji with a waraxe/battlehammer.


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## Kezone (Oct 29, 2012)

Ugh. Just grabbed the first fanfic on the recently updated list:



ooo!


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 29, 2012)

People like this make me sick. Put EFFORT into your work for god's sake.


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## Daxter (Oct 30, 2012)

Kankurette said:


> If you were writing an American high school Naruto AU, would it be correct to give them all American names? Like, Larry Whirlpool wants to be Head Boy and he has a rival called Steve Fanshaw and is in love with a girl called Cherry Springfield or something.
> 
> I admit that when I write about Konoha I imagine the characters speaking in RP/Cockney/Estuary accents, and I use a lot of Britishisms and some British culture sneaks into my fanfic, but then I'm a Britfag and making Chouza tell Chouji to shift his _arse_ rather than his _ass_ feels natural to me. I'd only make a character use Americanisms if they were American, e.g. Revy from Black Lagoon. And they still do Japanese-y things. Naruto is Shinto, not Christian (I imagine him as an Inari worshipper) and eats ramen instead of chips and gravy.



Ah but that's my point, why bother writing it American at all? Naruto is too heavily influenced by Japanese themes, and unless integral to the plot, why use an American setting? I'll tell you why...


*Spoiler*: __ 



Laziness. 




So you have to research a couple street names, or the Japanese schooling system~ One might think for a large number of Naruto fans, unlike myself having a high likelihood of being serial animanga fans, that they might have picked up a thing or two from reading so much Japanese-related content. 

As for dialect, I hardly find that a problem. English is English, and Japanese is not English (amg, I'm so smart), so it is not more or less one English dialect or the other. Tosser may very well have a sister term in Japanese.  (I hope so.) I know I'm guilty of Canbrit shit in my writing, but that hardly has any effect when Japan is the region it's set in. Now if you let Britslang seep into a very American character, as you said, in America, that would be a different story (literally ).


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 30, 2012)

True. *thinks back to the Persona games for PS2* Do schools really work like that though? And don't most kids have to go to cram school as well? how do they have time to do things like that?

Bleh. What other AUs are people tired of seeing? I know arraigned marriages is another one, and I swore I saw a KakaIru fic set in Nazi Germany. Made me cringe, its on AFF.net though.


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## Midknights (Oct 30, 2012)

Well, I hate it when Naruto or Sasuke are genderbendered, its so stupid.

I heard of this Sasuk"o" fanclub and I hate it because it makes Sasuke
and Naruto marry eachother,I understand people like yaoi/yuri, but I wish
they'd do it in private..


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## Herpules (Oct 30, 2012)

Cryppled Dogma said:


> *b.* Pronouns are not the enemy. There is no need to abuse descriptive nouns - use them sparingly.
> Yes, that means the referring of selected persons too insistently as _the blonde_ or _the raven _or _the newly appointed expert teacher who also has silver hair and a mask and reads porn and is mysterious. _ Every. Other. Line.



Dear god this x500

I feel like im reading something written by a 6th grader trying really hard sometimes


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Oct 30, 2012)

bah, i just dislike the unoriginality these days. its always a retelling of naruto's story, but with more emphasis on a pairing, or harem, plus child rape. THEY'RE FLIPPING 12 GOD DAMN IT! its also embarrassing when female kyuubi is added into the mix. =3= i know, japanese folklore but come on, wanting to be in Naruto's pants/teaching him jutsu, etc. its the same song and dance that I've seen a million times before since 2006. the portraying of a super naruto is all the same i find, always a long exposition paragraph, coming off as a know it all smart ass, thinking he's so clever. When he's just being an arrogant brat.

authors notes in between don't help either. its distracted. I'd link to show how horrid this one is if asked.


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## Kakashifan727 (Oct 30, 2012)

Is it the one I reviewed? :ho I remember Golden Fox, it was hyped to hell. Read like two chapter back then and went "What is this? ".


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## Daxter (Oct 31, 2012)

Midknights said:


> Well, I hate it when Naruto or Sasuke are genderbendered, its so stupid.
> 
> I heard of this Sasuk"o" fanclub and I hate it because it makes Sasuke
> and Naruto marry eachother,I understand people like yaoi/yuri, but I wish
> they'd do it in private..



You know what, me too. I also wish they'd do all that stupid hetero stuff in private too, I mean can't you keep your inclinations to yourself?  Straight love is gross.



I've only been browsing the fandom for roughly two months or so, so I'm probably exceptionally late to the party, but you guys all follow that hilarious naruto fanfiction tumblr right?  I don't think I've lmao'd in real life quite so much in a very long time.


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## Whirlpool (Nov 1, 2012)

It may be a bit assholish and mean, but ever just read Wilkins75 fics just to laugh at the spelling mistakes?

"Hello sweaty, they sent a massage her for you"

"Hello sweety, they sent a message here for you"


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## Kakashifan727 (Nov 1, 2012)

Nope, I do that with every badfic I happen to come across.


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## CandyCocaine (Nov 1, 2012)

Cryppled Dogma said:


> You know what, me too. I also wish they'd do all that stupid hetero stuff in private too, I mean can't you keep your inclinations to yourself?  Straight love is gross.
> 
> 
> 
> I've only been browsing the fandom for roughly two months or so, so I'm probably exceptionally late to the party, but you guys all follow that *hilarious naruto fanfiction tumblr right?  I don't think I've lmao'd in real life quite so much in a very long time.*



pleeeease give me the link so I can die of laughter.


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## Kakashifan727 (Nov 1, 2012)

Never heard of it either. I bet the best way is just through google.


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## CandyCocaine (Nov 1, 2012)

whatever i saw when I googled definitely was not funny lol


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## The Jeffrey (Nov 1, 2012)

Wow, I just came across this: 

Now, if it were this person's first fic it would be understandable but the writer has like 30 stories. How does a person not improve after writing so many?


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## Kakashifan727 (Nov 1, 2012)

They don't give a shit or put in any effort. Even with the parody I'm doing of a game series, and also tropes in general more so towards fanfic and MS's, I try to at least put in as much effort as if I am writing one of my serious works. It's not going too well though, 3chs, 113 hits and only 1 review from an anon. LOL, I must have no sense of humor.


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## The Jeffrey (Nov 2, 2012)

I wrote this  in my troll account and it didn't do too bad. 

I don't think that parodies get few reviews because of quality but because of the good ones being hard to find and, in turn, making people just give up on searching for them.


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## Daxter (Nov 2, 2012)

CandyCocaine said:


> pleeeease give me the link so I can die of laughter.



Ooooooookay, because I need someone to understand my manic laughter. xD This tumblr also posts on occasion, other things (they seem to be processing Naruto characters through that 'what would our baby look like?' program thing most recently, and they also post bad/hilarious fanart too), so I'll start you at page two. 

Just read through the pages, they take excerpts from all sorts of terrible Naruto fanfiction, het/gay/younameit, and posts their favourite bits and grammar/spelling errors. LINK TO TEH LULZ!

Edit; Shit I started reading it again... it's 6am and everyone's gonna kill me... can't stop laughing... help me...

SASUKE X OBAMA-NEKO IS SO HAWT I CAN'T EVEN.


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## Kakashifan727 (Nov 2, 2012)

WHAT!? OMFG! :rofl Hahahaha....


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## Kankurette (Nov 3, 2012)

And Sai's Pink Half Of The Drainpipe is a parody of songfics.

That tumblr is hilarious. Still wondering how to take a wif of a bo. Do you go up to Chouza and ask to marry his staff?



Whirlpool said:


> Meh, the Akamichi's remind me of dwarves and they say arse so


I was going to say "aren't they a bit big to be dwarves?" and then remembered how the dwarfs in Discworld wear loads of armour and are very into 'quaffing' beer, so yeah, Chouji would fit right in with them. He'd be like Carrot Ironfoundersson.



Itachifan727 said:


> True. *thinks back to the Persona games for PS2* Do schools really work like that though? And don't most kids have to go to cram school as well? how do they have time to do things like that?
> 
> Bleh. What other AUs are people tired of seeing? I know arraigned marriages is another one, and I swore I saw a KakaIru fic set in Nazi Germany. Made me cringe, its on AFF.net though.


Having been to the Topographie des Terrors in Berlin on Tuesday and seen what the Nazis did to gays...I don't think that relationship would survive long. For some reason, fics set in Nazi Germany make me a bit uneasy, if only because I've studied it so much. They have the potential to be horribly offensive.



bloodplzkthxlol said:


> bah, i just dislike the unoriginality these days. its always a retelling of naruto's story, but with more emphasis on a pairing, or harem, plus child rape. THEY'RE FLIPPING 12 GOD DAMN IT! its also embarrassing when female kyuubi is added into the mix. =3= i know, japanese folklore but come on, wanting to be in Naruto's pants/teaching him jutsu, etc. its the same song and dance that I've seen a million times before since 2006. the portraying of a super naruto is all the same i find, always a long exposition paragraph, coming off as a know it all smart ass, thinking he's so clever. When he's just being an arrogant brat.
> 
> authors notes in between don't help either. its distracted. I'd link to show how horrid this one is if asked.


AAAAARGH HATE HATE HATE HATE. Let me guess, the kind of fic where everyone except Sasuke, Sakura and the bad guys are up Naruto's bum and he's shagged every woman in Konoha?

Also, pretty sure there are other male fox demons in manga - Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho, anyone? Even if he is voiced by a woman. Speaking of YYH, I bet poor old Kuwabara gets the same horrible treatment Chouji, Lee and Shino do in pairing fics, ie 'who's he again? Oh yeah, some ugly ginger.' Although at least he has a canon girlfriend.


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## Herpules (Nov 3, 2012)

^ that was the best-written fanfic I've read in a while

which is kind of sad


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## CandyCocaine (Nov 3, 2012)

lol that tumblr was a fun ride.

I used to be so obsessed w/ fanfics. reading some old ones bring heavy nostalgia, not cause of the story itself but where I was in life when I read it last


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Nov 4, 2012)

kuwabara grew on me. that one episode where he realized that everyone was hiding something from him just to make him not worried while looking like an idiot, and then sticking up for himself, I'll never forget the lines of "well this idiot has feelings!", at that point i didn't care about his looks, i respected his character because of his personality. sure he was the stupidest of the four but he still had a big heart. its rare to see characters growing such a connection with its audience. thats the beauty of story telling. 

a characters personality, traits, and goals, all leading up to you rooting for them, is much more powerful than any bloodline trait, new look, explosion like move, or pussy you could give in fanfiction.


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## Whirlpool (Nov 24, 2012)

How come Naruto never get's an STD when he bangs every female character?


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## CandyCocaine (Nov 24, 2012)

Do they still produce decent FF? Or are they all shit now


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Nov 26, 2012)

Whirlpool said:


> How come Naruto never get's an STD when he bangs every female character?



kyuubi or some chakra bullshit


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## Otaku Shrink (Nov 27, 2012)

1) The incessant need to make people gay or bi.
2) Senseis and kids hooking up. (You Shikakure, Narukure, Kakasaku folks, I'm talking to you.)
3) Messing with canon pairings (that is, hooking canon pairings up with others).


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## Ninjademon (Nov 28, 2012)

*God-like*

I don't like to read some Naruto god-like unless they give him an enemy that can make it intresting and diffecalt for Naruto to beat


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## Just0rdinary (Dec 3, 2012)

::Bad Spelling and Grammar drives me insane as I'm used to reading texts which are coherently written, make sense without any mistakes! Even if english is not their first language...GET A BETA! 
:: Showing women as weak and being saved by their men all the time...its an overused concept and again vexes me to no end.
:: In pairing-fics the girls are shown to be some sex slave! I read one the other day and DEAR GOD it freaked me out...like you just don't wanna know!  Never going there again! 
-Using concepts which seem extremely articficial...again me...insanity...you get the gist!
-Using long ass explaning either between the fic or before in the author note as well as answering dozens of reviewers...MY GOD JUST LET ME GET TO THE STORY PLEASE!

Now to cheer myself up...off to the FFs!


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 3, 2012)

Anybody notice the recent rise of 'Naruto got beaten up by a mob, turned inexplicably evil and, again, inexplicably finds the only woman in the world that are okay with sharing an arm-sized dick with other twenty woman' stories? 

I rarely read anything there anymore. The only thing I've actually liked lately is some NaruSaku story with a Bakemonogatari-like plot.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 3, 2012)

Do share. I know, I blame emo Donte for this. It's all his fault, ever si nce kids have played the demo he has corrupted them.


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 3, 2012)

I actually blame the dude that wrote that Naruto rattlesnake story (can't remember the name), and his little followers. 

Anyway this is the story:  

Not THAT good but at least it's different than anything I've read recently, too bad the writer hasn't updated in a while though.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 3, 2012)

Those fics have been out since 2007+


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 3, 2012)

Yeah, that rattlesnake guy is a big douche. Huge, I posted in this thread about him, lol.

He has a huge ego to compensate for his small dong.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 3, 2012)

Yeah, that Rattlesnake guy _is_ a prick.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 3, 2012)

Keep reading his ANs and loling so hard.


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 3, 2012)

You mean the one where he was talking to the Rock?


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## Baby Joe (Dec 3, 2012)

Kakashifan727 said:


> Yeah, that rattlesnake guy is a big douche. Huge, I posted in this thread about him, lol.
> 
> He has a huge ego to compensate for his small dong.



Ah, I remember you posting about that guy.

The guy's name is Darthemius. His Author Notes are just 

I gave up reading on Naruto fanfictions awhile ago. I'm thinking of starting up on them to see if I can find something decent.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 3, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> You mean the one where he was talking to the Rock?



And where he's banging Trish from DMC1? Yes, all of those.


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## CyberianGinseng (Dec 13, 2012)

The Jeffrey said:


> Anybody notice the recent rise of 'Naruto got beaten up by a mob, turned inexplicably evil and, again, *inexplicably finds the only woman in the world that are okay with sharing an arm-sized dick with other twenty woman' stories? *
> 
> I rarely read anything there anymore. The only thing I've actually liked lately is some NaruSaku story with a Bakemonogatari-like plot.


lmao!

Instant classic.


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## Rouge Angle (Dec 15, 2012)

Just returning to this thread to vent my frustration with terribly written, terribly punctuated, terribly plotted Gary Stu!God!Self-insert!Harem!Naruto fics.  Admittedly I'm to blame for clicking on the damn thing, but I thought it might at least be funny because the summary was so awful.


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## darkdreamerx (Dec 16, 2012)

You find a story... sounds good from the summary... 

Then, your eyes start to bleed... and you know damn well you can write the story better a thousand fold... maybe two thousand fold.

And then while searching for the _real_ well-written fanfics, it takes 5 years to find that one awesome author, and then they haven't been on for longer than that ....

But, being a recently active user again, I can't really blame them... sometimes you just don't have time to update a story..

Gahhh the life of fandom .


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## Vila (Dec 16, 2012)

Pet peeves: Mary Sue / Gary Stu characters, OOC-ness (Naruto is a complete moron, Hinata is a bitch, Sakura is a slut, Sasuke is a playboy, Ino is stupid and so on),self-inserts, OCs ( there are few good OCs but most of them are just horrible), high school setting fics (most of them are boring and the entire concept is overdone), bashing fics (sole purpose of these fics is to bash certain pairing or characters with no real plot at all and I find it immature), misspelling (Konaha, charka...), yaoi/yuri fics, i*c*st fics (I don't care if it is fiction, i*c*st is wrong and disgusting, not every relationship has to be romantic. If Itachi says he loves Sasuke, that doesn't mean he is in love with him). And summaries with InoShikaTema triangle that almost always end up in ShikaIno (wow, how mysterious and unpredictable:amazed). Oh, and finding a really great and interesting fic and realizing it wasn't updated in years or it is discontinued.
Also when fic is put under Sasuke/Sakura tag and summary mentions there are some minor pairings but then when I start reading it is full of Naruhina, ShikaIno,NejiTen, ShikaTema or whatever. How is that minor when I have to search with a microscope to find pairing which is supposed to be major?
I also detest mpreg. Men can adopt or get a surrogate mother if they want a child but men can not get pregnant.
And lastly, I hate when plot is centered in the Naruto universe but Itachi's wife is from Italy and her name is Giovanna. That just doesn't work.


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## bloodplzkthxlol (Dec 17, 2012)

>looks up kurama/kyuubi in character box
>all fanfics are the same rubbish i've read since 06.

*sigh* someone plz come up with an original plot plz.


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## Raptor (Dec 17, 2012)

darkdreamerx said:


> And then while searching for the _real_ well-written fanfics, it takes 5 years to find that one awesome author, and then they haven't been on for longer than that ....



, stay away from the crossovers if they aren't your thing.  

Another peeve: Hate it when they have like 20 pairings in the same fic or the pairing overrides the story.


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## abc123 (Dec 18, 2012)

1. Japanese words in an English fiction. This includes "Nani?!" (whenever someone says this I feel like tearing my hair out), "gomennasai", "arigato", "ohayo", "YATTA!", "Ano", "Yare yare" or the multitude of other words which authors know and feel the need to show off their very limited knowledge of the language or make their characters seem cool. I do not mind most suffixes so long as they are used correctly, i.e. the Hokage does not call Hinata '-sama' because she is a clan heir. Naruto does not call Sasuke or Tobi or whoever else '-teme' as it doesn't make sense.

2. Mentally handicapped(moreso than canon)/pathetic Naruto. I don't want to read about a Naruto who is always shouting about ramen, Sakura-chan, how he's going to be Hokage, saving his precious people... there is more to his character than that. Canon Naruto was last of his class, but kage bunshin allowed him to progress; why would I want to read about a pathetic Naruto who has no notable skills (e.g. never learned Kage Bunshin, still graduated) and loses the majority of his fights?

3. Fanfic descriptions. They really have to make me interested. Writing something like "watch as Naruto becomes a legend for his precious people!" will just be ignored.

4. Kyuubi; it is not a motherly figure who cries when Naruto first meets 'her' and blames 'herself' for Naruto's life, whereupon Naruto will instantly forgive 'her'. It is not a thousand year old 'demon' who falls in love with an annoying, loud, stupid, brash, weak (etc) 8 year old boy who wears orange jumpsuits. 

5. 'Fox hunts', where Naruto will be beaten up for walking down a road, or on his birthday, or because he bumped into someone. I'm pretty sure the Hokage or any good ninja (in fics where he isn't an evil bastard) will notice a mob with flaming torches and pickaxes chasing a 5 year old boy who somehow is able to outrun them until he hits a dead-end, whereupon they will slash, stab, burn and do anything else which all are somehow not lethal, and when they all shout "FINISH IT" or similar he will be dramatically saved at the last moment. Naruto will then wake up in hospital, sigh, think he's back there again with no negative thoughts, see the Hokage, instantly brighten up on the mention of ramen, forgive the villagers and still love them.

No. Maybe a few beatings when he's not being protected, but you'd think if every year when he goes for a walk during the festival he'd realise he shouldn't. Or every year the Hokage would think to give him some (real) protection when they break into his house on his birthday.

6. Added OC, dramatically changed characters, new abilities, and yet things STILL GO EXACTLY like canon. Example is wave mission; Naruto still somehow freezes up upon seeing the demon brothers, regardless if he has a completely different personality, then gets his hand nicked by their gauntlet. Haku still escapes with Zabuza after Kakashi defeats him. Naruto will jump into the Haku's Demonic Ice Mirrors, Sasuke will still be put into a death-like state, Naruto will still be influenced by the fox even if he doesn't consider Sasuke is friend/brother which is the reason it happened then. 

If the fic does deviate from canon, it'll be in the most annoying way possible. Again back to wave mission; when Inari shouts "you don't know anything about suffering" or something, the temperature will dramatically drop, Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke will gasp, Naruto's hair will shadows his eyes blablabla and then he'll go into a long heartwrenching tirade about how he knows about it, where he never had any parents he gets assaulted every birthday blablabla... happens in 90% of fics and it pisses me off.

7. Naruto is from a different village/country/Akatsuki yet he goes to the Chunin exams for some bullshit reason just so it is incorporated in the story, where he will then desert his original place (e.g. Akatsuki), fall in love with someone like Hinata even though they only have 1 conversation, defect, lose his will to invade/do whatever he had planned to do to Konoha... etc.

8. Harems. Not all harems are bad, some are written nicely, but fictions where Naruto says "I can't help but love them as well as you" and the woman says "As long as I can spend time with you it's ok" or some other bullshit... no. Women do not share simply because their partner wants to. How many women do I know who would voluntarily participate in a harem for their husbands because they're not enough for him? None. I don't want to see NarutoxAnkoxShizunexKurenaixInoxHinata or any other bullshit like that. 

9. Blushes/Stuttering/Nosebleeds. You don't blush simply by looking at someone. You don't go "w-w-w-wh-wh-why w-wo-would y-y-you h-hug me?". You don't have a nosebleed (this just annoys me) simply because someone looks good, or shows some skin. I've read a fic which had Naruto passing out, blushing up a storm, losing several pints of blood and stutters like Hinata every fucking paragraph because a girl does something like hold his hand, hug him or anything of the sort. Bear in mind the Naruto of this fic is the most powerful ninja in the world, and had just come back to Konoha after defeating Akatsuki.

10. Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze. Pick one family name or the other please; how many people in the Narutoverse do you know with 2? 

11. Grammar/spelling. The occasional misspelling isn't so bad, but repeatedly doing it is insufferable. I'm talking about an author like Aragon Potter, who somehow misspelled Kurenai as Kureani 40 or something times in one chapter, or wrote "I 'am" instead of "I'm" despite being told numerous times every time he does it. It really isn't hard to copy and paste a chapter into word and use spell checker/find+replace to get rid of the obvious mistakes.

12. Trench coats, pictures of foxes, retarded outfits. Naruto hates the Kyuubi, and yet gets pictures of it all over himself? His sword guard is shaped like a fox? His anbu mask is a fox? He wears a trench coat, like he's the fourth hokage, to the academy? He has a retarded, constricting outfit with various colours and designs? Newsflash: ninjas are not models, they are ninjas; there is no need for Naruto to look 'cool' or 'badass' with your stupid outfit designs - he only needs clothing which allows easy movement, like a body suit. 

13. Naruto fanfics where he's sent to a different world/time and for some reason he feels the need to tell his life story to every fucking stranger he comes across, without even thinking if he'll believe them or not. If someone in this world were to hear Naruto's life story they'd think he's fucking crazy.

14. When a girl rubs Naruto's whiskers are he fucking PURRS. I hate this shit. For starters, what do whiskers have to do with pleasure? Secondly, foxes don't purr. Thirdly, Naruto's whiskers are scars, not some freaking G-spot for him.

I know there are other things which piss me off about fanfics but I've forgotten them. I'm sure all of this has been said before but I just felt the need to vent; can't find any other good fanfics anymore and the most recent ones I've read just annoy me so much.


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## ?clair (Dec 18, 2012)

Might be repeating some stuff, but oh well. LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE? 

*1. Grammatically retarded retards:* Have they not heard of a beta-reader, at the very least? I feel like personally going over their story and correcting every single thing that's been screwed up with in there. It's so tempting to just harshly criticize 'em, but I just go ... _blah, whatever, ignore it and move on, _because most of the so-called 'authors' I've seen/met there can't take two cents of advice without feeling like the reviewer just insulted his or her grandma. Sheesh.

*2. Clich? Storylines:* I know the whole, "It doesn't matter if it's a clich?, what matters is what you _do_ with that clich?," thing. Yes, I do. Apparently, most of the fanfiction writers I've had the misfortune to stumble upon do _not._ Ex: Naruto awakens a hidden kekkei genkai; Naruto/Harem 'goodness' that's actually pure crap; Kyuubi turns female or adopts Naruto; highschool storylines (the bane of my existence, I swear!); the Akatsuki gets turned into kittens and conveniently land on a Narutard's doorstep/doormat; there are so many clich?s out there, and only 0.99% of the fanfiction writers on that site know how to properly use them, if at all.

*3. Character Bashing:* I admit to disliking quite a few of the 'popular' (imho, overrated) characters, but I don't outright disembowel/castrate/severely burn/starve/mutilate/piss on/maul/whatever them if I ever write a fanfiction and they're somehow involved in it! Honestly, if you dislike them that much, either don't include them in it -- make up a *logical *excuse for their absence, though -- or try to remove your bias and write them as quickly as you can. I'm lucky that I can lessen my hatred for select characters temporarily by looking at nice, warm fanart. Then the hate rises again. :33

That's it for now, as I have to go sleep. I might add some stuff later, since I have a plethora of pet peeves in fanfiction. ESPECIALLY IN NARUTO FANFICTION.


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## Whirlpool (Dec 18, 2012)

Itachi/Kyuubi.

_How the fuck was this thought of?_


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 18, 2012)

Oh please. ph

I've seen/head of worse crack. Like OroXanyone and okay, ah...SakuraXIcantthinkofthename. Probavbly because of his Mangekyou and genjutsu powers that remind the Kyuubi of Madara, his master.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Dec 18, 2012)

8. Harems. Not all harems are bad, some are written nicely, but fictions where Naruto says "I can't help but love them as well as you" and the woman says "As long as I can spend time with you it's ok" or some other bullshit... no. Women do not share simply because their partner wants to. How many women do I know who would voluntarily participate in a harem for their husbands because they're not enough for him? None. I don't want to see NarutoxAnkoxShizunexKurenaixInoxHinata or any other bullshit like that. 

lol @ that one.  I normally don't like harems, either, but to answer the last question:

I'm a woman and I don't mind on the condition that the man shares the other woman with me.  Means she absolutely has to be bi and willing to date me as well as the guy.  I might try to steal her completely for myself, lol.


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## ?clair (Dec 19, 2012)

Oh, puhlease. xD I've seen a Mary-Sue/Everyone pairing. Now, that is _crack_.

I feel proud of myself for not gouging out my eyeballs. 

Though, on canon crack: Chouji/Sasuke.

Wtf.


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## abc123 (Dec 20, 2012)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> I'm a woman and I don't mind on the condition that the man shares the other woman with me.  Means she absolutely has to be bi and willing to date me as well as the guy.  I might try to steal her completely for myself, lol.



Then you are every guy's dream. But, alas, it seems you're pretty much one of a kind . Either way, it many of the fanfic harems the girls are hetero.


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## The Jeffrey (Dec 20, 2012)

Anyone ever run into a ZetsuxSakura story?


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## yaoiwhore (Dec 20, 2012)

Well, one pet peeve off the top of my head would obviously be grammar and spelling, but considering that the English language as a whole is going down the crapper anyway, meh.

Probably the one I get the biggest laugh out of is when I read a fic that is pure crap plain and simple....yet there will be like twenty reviews saying they loved it and want more!  

Wtf?


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## BellatrixLestrange (Dec 20, 2012)

Rothwell said:


> Then you are every guy's dream. But, alas, it seems you're pretty much one of a kind . Either way, it many of the fanfic harems the girls are hetero.



Good to know I'm not scaring off every guy the way some bi girls apparently have.

That's probably my biggest pet peeve when it comes to harems.  Too many straight people and not enough bi ones.  Not enough of them involve bi characters.  I also would not mind if the central character of the harem is bi and we got him/her dating people of both genders.  I guess the closest thing we get to that is the Tila Tequila show.

So hard to come upon good bi hentai/harems/fiction in general.

If you see any good fanfics/comics with at least one bi character, please feel free to recommend them.


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## ?clair (Dec 21, 2012)

yaoiwhore said:


> Well, one pet peeve off the top of my head would obviously be grammar and spelling, but considering that the English language as a whole is going down the crapper anyway, meh.
> 
> Probably the one I get the biggest laugh out of is when I read a fic that is pure crap plain and simple....yet there will be like twenty reviews saying they loved it and want more!
> 
> Wtf?



That's human stupidity for you, friend. They'll review anything ("omg moar plz it was soooo gud sasusaku is da best <333 update soon!!111!!!!") as long as their favorite pairing or character is in it. Why do you think highschool fics are even made? It's because the writer can't come up with a halfway decent plot for the pairing --  and _every_ highschool fic has a pairing, believe me --  and so, he/she puts them in the dreaded, cliche and absolutely idiotic highschool scenario.

Human stupidity strikes again. It's a huge circle.


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## Amaterasu80 (Dec 26, 2012)

Those stories where the author tries to make a female character badass, they often do this by essentially turning them into Sasuke. The most common ones Ive found are where Sakura becomes some super-awesome cold blooded Ninja because she is weak, wtf? That would never ever happen.

Pairing stories where characters are made super-OOC, usually this is done so a character can be bashed in story, I may hate some characters but there is no reason to make them OOC. I dislike it when characters are bashed needlessly.

OC's that have no place in the plot, even worse when they are paired with a character and they are 'perfect' together.

When any character gets uber powered up by being trained by the Akatsuki or something, or when powers are awakened - so terrible.

Multi-pairings used for self-inserting.

Using the American anime phrases, like "Believe it!"

Underrating of the main characters powers, Sasuke and Naruto are very strong, characters like Kiba wouldnt stand a chance against them. Similarly I hate it when characters are turned into physical gods.

Exaggeration of charactes personalities - Naruto isnt borderline retarded, Karin isnt an STD ridden slag, Sasuke/Gaara/Neji can talk and show emotions, they are also not cruel people. I especially dislike it when the writer purposely does these things because they dont like the character.

OC's that are clones of existing characters, or genderbent.

Fanfiction being labelled as humour and then there is 20 pages of slapstick humour, which is plain silly.

Blatant sideshipping in pairing fics, as well as unrealistic portrayals or couples.

Really interesting stories that have been abandoned, I cant count the amount of time ive spent reading through an interesting fanfic to find out that they havent finished it and the last time its been updated is 2009 

Pairing fics are nests for things I hate, but it is annoying when the writers put subjects like Jealousy in the story and act like its a good thing, Jealousy is horrible and shouldnt be played with.

Drama stories that turn crazy, reviewers seem to applaud this nauseous dramatic roller-coaster garbage.

Often happens with NS fics - changing canon to suit a romantic pairing.

Super rushed romance.

Naruto stories that are essentially the same as anime filler.

There are just too many things to dislike about fanfiction.


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## Donqueefah (Dec 26, 2012)

My pet peeve is when the damn author just abandons their story because they "can't be bothered" or they just straight up stop updating especially when its a really good fic that has a lot of reviewers and they can't even put the fic up for adoption *sigh i guess its hard for an author sometimes but once a fic is started it must be finished some kind of way! GOSH!


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## Just0rdinary (Dec 27, 2012)

BellatrixLestrange said:


> 8. Harems.



Oh Lord how I understand your frustration with this! I myself can't stand Harems or Yaoi's for that matter...its weird and has me going red at the ears cause I'm so embarrassed (I read one once thinking it was probably just a spin-off from one of the chapters...My GOD how I wrong I was, I regret that day, couldn't read past after 3 paragraphs)


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## Just0rdinary (Dec 27, 2012)

Donqueefah said:


> My pet peeve is when the damn author just abandons their story because they "can't be bothered" or they just straight up stop updating especially when its a really good fic that has a lot of reviewers and they can't even put the fic up for adoption *sigh i guess its hard for an author sometimes but once a fic is started it must be finished some kind of way! GOSH!



 That is my biggest pet peeve too! It's such a pisstake that you spend ages reading their chapters and catching up on everything to end up realising that the FF is 2 years old and hasn't been updated! The least they can do is write DISCONTINUED at the start of the description...saves me from wasting my time cause it totally vexes me! I have read some great FF with a lot of potential but it was written by LAZY LAZY authors and aaaarrrggghhh!


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## BellatrixLestrange (Dec 27, 2012)

This is why I never write anything other than one-shots anymore.  I know that being in grad school for something other than creative writing leaves me with no time to write.  Another thing that I do is write fanfics on my google drive and post when they're finished.

What can I say?  All great writers seem to wind up in college eventually and when that happens, they stop writing unless they're English majors.


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## Kakashifan727 (Dec 28, 2012)

I still try, at least during the beginning of the semester then things get too hectic and I personally care more about my grades. Still, I haven;t go any new ideas lately, and I'd feel bad writing only a 1,500 word chapter again.


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## Whirlpool (Jan 12, 2013)

Highschool fics have the potential to be awesome.

Drugs, sex and rock'n'roll are always awesome.

But then when we do get that, we get modern day shit rock, turrible lemons and angsty drugs. No partying, smh.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 13, 2013)

And no teacher/student scandals either. 

Oh hoho ho ho.


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## Whirlpool (Jan 13, 2013)

It would be the bomb.


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## BellatrixLestrange (Jan 13, 2013)

oh tell me about it.  I tried looking up stories involving Naruko on ff.n and half of the stuff I turned up had her romantically involved with Kakashi.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 14, 2013)

But...Kakashi is hot. 

Still, I can see why that would be annoying. Diversity and variety is key here people.


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## ?clair (Jan 14, 2013)

What pisses me off the most is the horrible reputation OCs gained because of Na-fucking-ruto. Sure,_ My Immortal _was the biggest monstrosity made and it was from my main fandom, Harry Potter, but aside from that, you can find such amazingly done OC-fics there. Naruto, on the other hand, seems to have received the worst writers of the millennium. Sure, we have some good ones here and there, but ... nah. I've lost interest in Naruto's fanfictions now.

Well, that was to be expected, since I quit the manga a while ago. 

Seriously, we need good writers in that section for the people still going there.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 14, 2013)

Indeed. So many rehashes of idea, which I don't mind, but people can't seem to have any...differences in their settings. They all end up the same way, or somet5hing. I dunno.


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## ?clair (Jan 14, 2013)

TL;DR -- most of the Naruto-fanfiction writers are teenage fangirls who still use webspeak and MS Word's horrible grammar autofixes. I've only seen about eight truly talented writers there, and only 1.08% of the most reviewed fanfics were actually decent, with proper editing and what not.

This makes me wanna start writing again.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 14, 2013)

Reason why I write. Trying to think outta the box, I get the oddest ideas sometimes though.


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## Whirlpool (Jan 14, 2013)

Uniqueness is the best.

It's why I yearn for nightclub dancing and toilet sex good plot.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 14, 2013)

Creepy, I was thinking of doing that in my lemon, or something similar. At least the first part, lol, no the second. That squicks me.


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## Whirlpool (Jan 14, 2013)

Whaddya mean?! 

Nothing better than some partly-clothed deeds in a toilet stand.

But yeah, nightclub dancing would be funnier if writing had music.


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## ?clair (Jan 14, 2013)

Finished re-watching Deathly Hallows and my writing juices are FLOWING. 

Am I odd for never getting many plot bunnies? Are they infertile?


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 14, 2013)

Nope. I haven't been able to think up much either.


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## Crazy Penance (Jan 14, 2013)

I hate when the story has NO LINE SPACING AT ALL.

"Oh look, good title, I like the pairing, decent summary...

HOLY FUCK A BLOCK OF NEVERENDING TEXT."


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 14, 2013)

I just report those for bad grammar. 

Learn to enter please.


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## ?clair (Jan 15, 2013)

Every time I see one of those good-title-summary-etc.-but-is-a-wall-of-shitty-text fanfics, I scream in rage and feel like committing homicide. It's already so darn rare to find an OK fanfic, but you're practically cheated whenever the aforementioned happens. Argh.

What are your pennames, anyway?


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## Whirlpool (Jan 15, 2013)

I don't write but I should becauser I'd be the best.


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## Ultra Instinct Vegito (Jan 15, 2013)

Nothing really bothers me.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 15, 2013)

Nyarue said:


> Every time I see one of those good-title-summary-etc.-but-is-a-wall-of-shitty-text fanfics, I scream in rage and feel like committing homicide. It's already so darn rare to find an OK fanfic, but you're practically cheated whenever the aforementioned happens. Argh.
> 
> What are your pennames, anyway?



Report them. It's against the Ff.net rules anyways. No need we have to suffer to get good fic b/c people can;'t be damned to use the grammar check function/proofread. My penname is the same I use here.


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## ?clair (Jan 15, 2013)

Kakashifan727 said:


> Report them. It's against the Ff.net rules anyways. No need we have to suffer to get good fic b/c people can;'t be damned to use the grammar check function/proofread. My penname is the same I use here.



That's what I do, right after leaving a concrit review. I can be a harsh reviewer sometimes.

I'll look you up, then.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 15, 2013)

Half the time I don't, since I suspect they're either trolling or some shit. 

I just really "Just In" section and find shit to report. Sadly, there's a lot of shit to report.


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## ?clair (Jan 15, 2013)

Leaving concrit reviews helps me calm down from the sheer rage and incredulity I experience after reading their 'stories'. 

Never wandered into the "Just In" section, since I usually stick to completed stories above 60k+ words, then put the deserving author on alert and proceed review their new fics. If I feel like swimming through piles of steamin' shit, I put the filter on *Eng., All Ratings, 5K+* and voila. Unsurprisingly, M-rated fics are usually lame, while T-rated fics are cheesy highschool-fics that use webspeak for their IMs every two lines.

By the way, cool bio, Kakashi. Very neat and to the point.


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## Kakashifan727 (Jan 15, 2013)

Exactly. No memes, no life story, just quick and its easy to do.


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## ?clair (Jan 15, 2013)

I honestly detest authors that put a bunch of useless shit on their bio -- note, *bio*, which is:

*bi?og?ra?phy* (b-gr-f)
_n. pl. _*bi?og?ra?phies*
1. An account of a person's life written, composed, or produced by another: _a film biography of Adlai Stevenson; an oral biography._

Not a dumpster. It's a freaking intro-box or an update-center.

The "Stereotype" list and the "List Your Favorite Characters; character X and Y do this, number and name them" thing is the most annoying. It's ... useless.


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## Shikoo (Jan 15, 2013)

Pet peeves... Oh yes.

1. AU fics in which the characters' names are all that remains of canon, eg. Konoha High School fics. It was fun the first time around, but _please_ people, it's not fun anymore when it's been done a thousand times. This is my personal opinion, but I just don't read them. Too bad half of the fics you can find nowadays are like this.

2. Butchering of the English language. I must admit I'm a bit of a pittifogger, but that is purely because of my strict upbringing considering the language here in Finland. My greatest pet peeve is raging over the words "lose" and "loose". Dear God, people, they mean completely different things!

3. Characters' names. I know everyone has their own way to write them, and I'm not going to go and rage because someone writes Hyuga and not Hyuuga like me, or TenTen and not Tenten. I just don't read if it I can't stand the way someone writes a name. Check #2 for reasons.

4. Rushed stories. It's really annoying, especially when you've found a story with a great idea and lots of potential - and then the author ruins it by rushing. Fanfiction should be no different from writing a novel or a school essay, so you should construct your plot likewise, developing it slowly and steadily. That's the way to attract readers 

5. Clich?s. To some extent they are fine, great even if you can use them wisely. But for heaven's sake, try to swim at least! You can't stand out by following the same plot as a hundred others, so coming up with something original is recommended.

6. When in the summary it's not told that the story is lemon. I've came across quite a few of these, and it's never a pleasant experience. See, I don't read Naruto lemon fanfics, but I do enjoy some less explicit M rated stories. So please warn your readers, okay?

7. "Adventure" stories which are basically overly fluffy romance with next to no plot. If you recognize your story from this description... Sort out your genres.

8. Cests. 'Nuff said in my opinion.

9. My own fanfictions. I hate the way I write and the fact that I'm lazy and the fact that I enjoy writing AU even though I hate reading it. But a girl's gotta keep on writing if she wants to improve, no?

Thank you for listening to this rant  Hope I didn't insult too many people.


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## ?clair (Jan 16, 2013)

Shikoo said:


> 9. My own fanfictions. I hate the way I write and the fact that I'm lazy and the fact that I enjoy writing AU even though I hate reading it. But a girl's gotta keep on writing if she wants to improve, no?



So bleedin' true. 

I keep scrapping my written works every fifteen minutes, which is another reason why I still haven't posted anything. I used to have a tremendously popular four-chapter long Itachi/Ino fanfic, but I realized it was crap and deleted it. I'm trying to rewrite it at the moment.


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## CandleGuy (Jan 18, 2013)

I like Naruto

But it's almost impossible to right him close to canon in a fanfic without broaching the lines of a Gary Stu.


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## kratos184 (Jan 19, 2013)

You guys should read my in-progress fanfic. I'm a newbie to writing so I could really use critical persons like most of you. It's a fanfic with Shino as the main character, although a lot of other characters have big roles in the first arc. I'm progressiong steadily with the writing and a least one chapter a week comes out. There are no pairings. The formatting int he first two/three chapter such but I have already made that better.

I need a lot of help though and everything is appreciated.


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## abc123 (Jan 19, 2013)

That's nice and all, but you writing a fic isn't really a pet peeve.

Although, I suppose it could be considering some of mine are included in your fanfic; why is Tsunade, the Hokage, using the -sama suffix for Hinata? They don't even use -sama for other Kage's. Plus, Hinata isn't even a Clan Heir in canon if that's the (bad) reason.


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## Tazmo (Jan 19, 2013)

This thread is now closed it has a continuation thread *Here*


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